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help-im-a-gay-fish · 3 years

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Brightly Shone The Moon That Night. A Dark-Cream Christmas story.

The following is a slice of life story about my Dark-Cream family at Christmas. It exists in a universe different to @zu-is-here cannon. In this universe positive emotions are not fatal to Shattered so Cross and Dream didn't rush to break the curse. It splits off around 'things will never be the same' or 'the price of happiness'. The twins were created before the last 3 chapters of Dark-Cream were drawn. Any changes to the story or changes to the characters should be accepted as being part of an alternative timeline. Thank you. Enjoy. Original cross and dream belong to jakei95 and joku blog. Original shattered dream belongs to @galacii. This design for shattered is based off the one by @zu-is-here and the Dark-Cream story is also by @zu-is-here. Most of the Story will be under the cut.

"isn't this a bit much?" the gloopy one said, as his partner wrapped a scarf around his neck.

"nope" the former guard replied "can't have you getting frost bite my love"

Dream simply rolled his eyes. "but I can't really get cold? Or even hot for that matter"

"what are you talking about? you're always hot" Cross replied with a sly smile. This earned a confused look from the smaller skeleton, as Cross carefully tied the scarf and gently folded it under Shattered's jacket. Though it became clear to Cross that Dream had twigged what he'd meant a moment later, evident by the creeping gold blush spreading across his face.

The golden guardian playful punched Cross in the shoulder. "Shush you, keep in clean in front of the little ones"

At that Cross couldn't help but smile and turn his head to his two daughters. The two were in their cot, all dressed in snuggly winter clothes, waiting for their Dad's to be done getting ready. Celest was dressed in a cosy jumper with a little bobble hat, while Luna wore a full bodied coat. Their consistent look of confusion and wonder changed into toothless smiles when their dad looked at them. (idk how teething works for skeletons..... Teeth magically form or something......also tbh they should start teething soon) it warmed Cross' soul.

His attention was drawn back to dream by the sound of metal being placed down on wood. He looked to him, seeing that he'd removed his crown band and set down on the bedside table. Dream then sighed and sagged his shoulders. "it.... It feels wrong not having something on my head"

Cross chuckled.

The 4 of them where taking a trip out today. This was something both Dream and Cross had agreed was a good idea.

Cross' eye lights travelled back to the little ones. They seemed so innocent right now, as if recent events hadn't happened. As if the last two weeks hadn't been difficult to get through.

Celest's code had been burning her a lot, to the point where she'd screamed when either of them had tried to hold her, or even touch her. As for Luna, her throat had become clogged with more gloop then ever before. So much Shattered had to use a tentacle to pull some of it out. She had surely been 5 seconds from suffocating.

It had been a fortnight of sleepless nights, screaming babies and a large amount of arguing. The stress of the situation had pushed them very far apart. Many things had been said, old wounds jabbed at, tears shed. But after a lot of long talks they had sorted out each fight. They were a lot stronger then some petty arguments. There was no room in their relationship for emotional strain......not anymore. The two loved each other, it had just been a difficult time.

In recent days, the twins seemed to have recovered to a stable state. Back to the laughing, smiling, Cow lovers. Cross never thought he'd be so happy that they'd started playing with their cow collection again.

After a long talk with his finance, the two concluded that they'd all been stuck in the void space for way to long. Even with the few rooms and furniture, it's not like there was much to do there and a serious cabin fever had developed. So while the twins were in a good place, they had to take the opportunity to spend some time together as a family.

Cross once again looked back at his partner. Only to need to do a double take. Dream was wearing a hat now. A festive white one with golden stripes running across it. It was reminiscent of a classic Santa hat, other then the colours. The fabric had black stains in several places due to where Dream had touched it. Though despite that Cross recognised it all to well. To his dismay, he felt his face slowly get warm. Their first kiss.

He could remember it clearly in his mind, the mistletoe, the hotel, Gaster sniggering in the corner. But mostly, Dream. The sweet, positive skeleton from back then was very different to the one who stood before him now. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

Remembering that day caused his blush to darken. It had truly been one of the most embarrassing, but best days of his life. Though a part of him wondered how Dream still had the hat. After everything, the hat had been saved.

"you've still got that hat?" he said, in a half teasing tone.

Shattered smirked at Cross' flushed face "of course, so many good memories".

A stream of positivity ran through him and with it, it brought a sudden, but expected twinge in his soul. It was a sharp pain, like a knife being slowly pressed in. Dream tried to ignore it but he visually flinched causing Cross to come over.

"positivity again Dreamboat?" he questioned.

Dream nodded "it's alright, I'm used to it" The guardian sensed some sadness from Cross, even if he kept a natural face.

"I'm OK Crossy, promise!"

Cross sighed and gently kissed Shattered's forehead. "if you say so my love"

With that he walked back over to the twins so that he could get their carriers. Dream sighed slightly. It was strange seeing Cross in an outfit different to his guard uniform. So much so that Dream already kind of missed it, not that Cross didn't look handsome is what he was currently wearing.

The last time the family had left the void to go shopping, (which is really a story in itself) they had been stared at from all angles. Every man, women and child. Monster or human, had taken part in watching them. Like animals in a zoo. Cross had insisted that it was the twins they were staring at, since his children were so beautiful that of course people would stare. But in the end both him and Dream knew the real reason.

They were staring at them.

He couldn't really blame them though, how often do you come across a monster with heterochromia wearing what was best described as fancy dress, accompanied by a slime covered skeleton in heels and a crown? Many things had changed since the apple incident, but people staring as he passed had not.

Today they both wanted a peaceful day with their babies, so they had opted to wear more normal clothes. Cross had traded his normal cape and jacket for a puffy white winter coat which he wore a red jumper under. Dream had opted for something similar, though a deep brown colour as to not show the stains so much. It felt odd being in a new outfit, but also very nice. There was only so long someone could take being in tight trousers and shirts with big collars.

The former guard straightened up, clutching a harness in his hands.

"these were definitely a good buy" he said, as he walked back to Dream.

Dream raised an eyebrow "did you really 'Buy' them Cross?" he said is a inquisitive tone.

Cross' body tensed and his partner gave him an sharp stare. Even without his emotion sensing ability, Dream could read Cross like a book.

"uhhhhhhh.......yes?"

"sure" Dream replyed, with slight amusement in his voice.

A nervous chuckle came from Cross. "look they were a good thing to get ok?....... Very helpful for the little ones"

Dream gave him an unsure nod. He still wasn't exactly well versed in child care, so he wasn't really sure what these harnesses where even for yet. Since he figured that the answer was probably obvious, he didn't ask.

"want me to help you get it on?" Cross asked, raising an eyebrow. Shattered wasn't the only one who could easily read his partner.

Shattered said nothing but nodded. His golden blush reappeared when Cross started to run his hands across and around his body to get the harness into place. His soul gave a tiny learch for a moment, but not one of pain.

He knew there was a part of him that wanted Cross to touch his soul again, It had been such a close experience for them both and had brought about a lot of pleasurable feelings. It was truly something he wanted to experience again. A feeling he almost craved. But he knew all to well, as his eye sockets fixed onto the cot to his right, that the potential consequences made it impossible. He was just going to have to live with these unmet desires. Just as he was sure that Cross lived with similar ones.

"there all done"

Dream jumped. Snapped out of his thoughts by his future husband's voice.

Now the harness was all attached. Not too tight, but not too lose. He could see that he now had a pocket on his chest which he guessed the baby sat in. Clever. It was kind of like a kangaroo pouch.

Cross strapped a identical carrier around his own chest and walked over to the babies cot to collect his daughters.

Luna smiled wide at the sight of him. The older skeleton matched her smile and slowly picked his child up. Luna giggled and kicked her tiny feet out as he did. Her tentacle flickered around the corners of her mouth as she laughed. Cross could feel his own joy fill him at the sight. But he nullified it for his partner's sake.

Speaking of which, he turned back to Dream.

"you wanna take Celly or Lu Lu?" he asked.

"I'll take Luna" the smaller skeleton replied "since you are already holding her". He held his arms out in an awkward, slightly unsure way.

Cross gave a soft, knowing smile "Its OK Dreamboat, I'll help you get her in the carrier"

Shattered sighed, irritated by his own incompetence and nodded.

With that Cross carefully attempted to slip the wriggling baby into her carrier. Which wasn't easy, as she cheerfully shifted her legs around. In fact Cross had a slightly hard time keeping hold of her.

After much difficulty, Cross managed to feed her legs through the leg holes and sit her safely inside. The whole time, Dream remained mostly still, he didn't want to do anything in case he ended up hurting Luna.

Once she was buckled in, Cross took a slow step back to admire his handy work. Luna bounced excitedly in her carrier and her Papa looked almost comically uncomfortable by all her movement.

"do you want me to take her Day Dream?" Cross said, upon noticing Dreams unease around the wiggling baby. Dream shook his head "no, its fine" he replied as he relaxed his shoulders. "you get Celest and we can go"

Cross gave a nod and turned back to the cot. As he went to pick up his slightly younger daughter, he noticed that she had in fact fallen asleep. Cross sighed - not again....

For most parents, the time when the children slept was a time of bliss, and after a fortnight of little sleep, Cross almost agreed. But his child had a habit of falling asleep suddenly and for long periods. Dream had told him that when this happened her energy levels were low, showing that her body couldn't regulate itself fully.

With another sigh, Cross carefully picked up the sleeping baby and slipped her into the carrier. It was very hard to wake her when she was like this, but he was still extra careful. Not waking a sleeping baby was basically a universal law, though he would have to if she was asleep to long. After double checking that she was safely inside and her head was supported, he walked back over to Dream.

"any particular preference for an au Dream boat?" he asked

Shaking his head, Dream replied "Not really, just try and get a pacifist timeline"

With a nod, Cross extended his arm. There was a spark of magic at his figure tips and his knife materialised. He dragged it through the air in a fluid motion, as he did it split the air as if it where a piece of cloth. It was a causal splitting of space and time. Simple.

Luna watched her dad with a look of wonder. Her silver eyes where wide and bright.

"gahhhhh daaaaag" she cooed and reached for him.

Cross glanced back at her with a smile "just you wait Princess, when you are older I'll teach you how to do this"

These words hung heavily in the air for a moment, as Cross carefully finished opening the portal. The same thing was on both Cross and Dreams minds.

If you get older.

With a sigh and a snap of his fingers, the knife was gone and the portal was open.

"After you" Cross said, stooping into a slight bow and winking at his fiancé.

Dream covered his mouth with his hand and fake giggled. "Oh what a gentleman" he said with a large smile across his face before walking forward and entering the portal.

The first thing that hit Dream as he reached the other side, was a cold crisp breeze. The chill made him feel grateful that he was wearing his boots, even if they were old and an obnoxious shade of yellow.

The breeze blew lightly causing Luna to shiver. There was no wind in there home, so this brought a welcome change to Shattered. He took a deep breath into his non existent lungs.

It was evening. Strange? He figured that their sense of time must have been thrown out a little. They did live in a void after all. However it was a pleasant evening, with sky littered with stars and a full moon.

Shattered allowed himself to bask in the fresh air for a while, as he heard footsteps behind him and the portal close.

"Oh it's good to be outside again" came Cross' voice from behind.

With a nod, Shattered turned around to face his partner. Luna wriggled more in her carrier, looking around at all the new things she'd never seen before.

"someone is excited" Cross said, leaning down and kissing his daughter on the forehead. She giggled and very nearly headbutt him as he did. Chuckling, he pulled away.

The guard looked around "looks like we're in a small town... If I had to guess its the surface"

The two of them started to look around, trying to find something to engage with. It wasn't long before they spotted something.

Both skeletons attention was caught by something in the near distance. A large crowd of people. Among them were people in hats, jumpers and coats, carrying bags and cups of hot drinks. A vast amount of stalls and stands were among them, not to mention fur trees in fancy dress and lights. Hundreds and hundreds of lights.

"a Christmas Market!" Dream said, his voice hinting an excitement "I've never been to one! I forgot that it was this time of the year"

His excitement felt like a balloon filling inside him. Only to be burst when his soul gave a sting inside his ribs.

But Dream couldn't help but feel a little happy, this was such a good thing to come across, perfect for their trip out.

Cross tilted his head "how do you know what Christmas is my love? It's more of a human custom".

"well that's easy" Dream said, a slight smugness in his voice at the fact he seemed more knowledgeable then Cross about something.

"Christmas is a time where positive emotions take hold, even in the darkest of times, positively rules here"

He eye lit up slightly as he spoke. Even if Dream was corrupted, and technically not the positivity guardian anymore, he was still happy to talk about it. It reminded him of easier times.

"as the former positively guardian it was only natural for me to learn about the festival...." his voice turned somba for a moment "Heaven taught me...... remember?"

There was another heaviness in the air at those words. A unspoken guilt and regret and then a thought. Dream now possessed the very power that had killed him.....

The gloopy one sighed and straightened the baby carrier. Luna gurgled as he did so.

"he would have loved to meet these two wouldn't he" he spoke, his voice twisting in its somba state.

"yeah... But it's ok" the guard replied, taking Dreams hand.

"in a way, he is here" he said in a soft tone, running his finger across Dreams ring. A smile ran across his face before he realised Shattered's hand.

After a short moment of silence they were disturbed by a soft noise. Celest had woken from her sleep. She wriggled and shifted against Cross' chest, her tiny voice gurgling.

"Nice of you to join the party Sweet pea" Cross said, upon noticing.

"we should probably get going, before she falls asleep again" Dream stated in reply. Cross nodded.

The family started to walk together towards the market. As they approached the air was filled with the smell of food and the sound of cheesy pop songs. The emotions of the people around them where starting to fill in.

The first thing that Dream felt was a lot of emotion around him. He was going to need to take a moment to get used to it. From what he could feel it was primarily positive, but then he felt something else.

To his right he felt anger and frustration. That wasn't the kind of thing that he expected this time of year, so he turned his head slightly. There was a human and a monster stood in the huddle.

He caught a few words of what they were saying.

"typical every year you leave gift buying to the last minute" said one.

"it's not completely last minute" said the other.

"it's the 23rd! How is that not last-" and then he was out of ear shot.

"23rd?" Shattered said to himself "huh.... It was my birthday 2 days ago". He counted on his fingers for a moment, trying to figure out how old that made him.

"it was!? Oh my goodness that's right!" came a voice from his side. It was slight panic from Cross. Uh oh.

Dream waved his hands in a jazz hand fashion "woah woah woah, before you go flying off the handle, we both didn't realise-

"I'm so sorry my love!"

Shattered groaned. Here we go.

"I can't believe I forgot! I'll make it up to yo-

Dream cut Cross off with a peak on the teeth. Cross jumped and his face flushed.

"......... Cross, I'm going to have hundreds more birthdays... Its OK if we skip one" the guardian whispered before nuzzling his gloopy face against him. "presides.... We had more important things to worry about"

As if on que both twins cooed.

A little smile creeped on to Cross' face. Dream mirrored it.

"now let's stop standing here go to the market" he held his hand out "it's waiting for us".

With a soft smile, Cross took his hand and they started walking again. It wasn't long before they finally reached the market.

The market was busy.

Both humans and monsters were walking around, talking happily. Children of all ages were rushing around with chocolates in their hands and candy canes in their mouths. Positive emotions were swirling like the snow in the wind. A warm blend of joy, song and family.

The smells of cakes and and pies were everywhere. Hot wine, ginger, cinnamon, dried fruit and nuts. Coffee, chutney, jams and cheeses.

For Dream it was like being spun in a giant bath of spice. The smells did not help his developing headache. There where positive emotions everywhere, every angle.

He let go of his partner's hand and stumbled slightly. The emotions were threatening to make him collapse as they came at all sides. Being in a void space for so long meant he'd gotten used to only Cross' emotions being around. But now there must have been 100 people at lest.

With the surrounding area becoming a blur, the sky and ground became one and he felt something hit his back and press it.

After a moment of silence he could hear the sound of a baby crying from off in the distance. Someone was calling his name but he could hardly hear it as the crying baby got closer. But eventually both got clearer.

"Dream! Dream are you OK!? Can you hear me?"

It was Cross.

"C.... Cross?" he said, looking for his partner's face. He eventually found it, hovering above him.

"why....." he said reaching his heavy arm up "why are you flying?"

The former guard gave him a confused expression. A moment later, Dream realised that the pressure on his back was in fact the floor and he was laying on it.

"you collapsed" said Cross with a pained expression. Cross' worry and stress washed over Dream and snapped him back to reality. The crying baby was very close. In fact it was coming from his chest.

Dream pushed himself onto his elbows and looked down. Luna was crying and wriggling in her carrier.

"oh.... OH!" Shattered said as a sudden and huge instinct hit him. Something he'd not really felt up till this point. Caring not about his state, he pulled her out of the carrier and rocked her in his arms.

"shhhh shhh it's ok, I'm sorry sweetheart, are you hurt?"

If Dream hadn't just collapsed, Cross would have felt happy at the sight of him comforting Luna. The tiny skeleton quieted down, but her non-existent lip was still trembling. Shattered inspected her, happy not to find any marks that would indicate she'd been hurt by the fall. Probably just scared.

"what happened my love?" came Cross' voice again.

"emotions" Dream bluntly responded, before attempting to get to his feet. He hadn't gotten far when he felt his partners hands grip his and help him pull up. He'd barely just gotten to his feet when things started to blur again and his head started to once again throb.

He fell forward slightly into Cross' chest, the guard put his arms around him to support him and keep him steady. He had to be careful to make sure the babies didn't get squished.

Cross' fiancé give out a low, pained groan and Luna give a wine of discomfort.

"Keep hold of her Dreamboat, I'll find somewhere where you can sit down" he softly said, looking around to find a seat. Luckily he spotted a park bench not to far from them.

Cross slowly and gently guided Dream backwards until Dream's legs brushed against the bench and he was able to slowly sit down. He sank his weight against the wooden frame, his limbs felt heavy and his head felt horrible. After a short time he started to adjust. Feeling himself coming back into reality, Shattered adjusted his hold on Luna to make sure he didn't drop her. Cross kneeled in front of them both.

"we can always go home if it's to much for you"

Immediately Dream shock his head, which he regretted a second later as the dizziness ramped.

"no Crossy, we both agreed we needed some time out of the void. ...im sorry that I'm ruining it"

The tall skeleton lightly gripped Dreams shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes.

"you are not ruining anything"

He kissed the bridge of Dreams nose.

"you have made everything in my life better, don't forget that"

A smile ghosted Shattered's face at those words.

"you know.... You're blind, unconditional love for me is really cheesy" he said, his smile turning into a smirk.

"I do try"

The couple shared a laugh and Dream felt himself feel a bit better. He didn't feel great though. The emotions around him where still dizzying.

Behind Cross he could see the market. It truly did look like fun and he felt bad that he'd soured the mood. He continued to rock Luna and she turned around in his arms to burry her face into his chest.

"you should....." Shattered paused as another wave of dizziness hit him "You should go ahead of me, I'll catch up"

"Absolutely not" Cross stated firmly "I will not leave you, I refuse"

"Cross" Dream said in an equally as firmly manner "I can look after myself for 10 minutes, it will be fine..... I want you to go have some fun"

The guard's expression softened and he stood up again, running his hand across the back of his skull unsurely as he did. "I.... I don't know"

Dream rested Luna in his lap and reached his hands out, Cross took them.

"Cross, I want you to go ahead, I'll join you soon, I promise"

Letting go of Dreams hands, Cross sighed. "Alright..... But I'll come back in 15 minutes, if you are still here then we are going home"

Dream nodded slowly "Deal"

After a few more unsure moments Cross started to back away from Dream. He went slowly in order to give Dream time to tell him to stop. After he didn't, Cross turned and walked in the direction of the market.

As Shattered watched Cross walk into the market, he felt his daughter start to fuss in his arms. His golden eye travelled down to her again. She looked a bit confused or upset. Her emotions weren't developed enough to be easily readable by Shattered. But from what he could sense she was distressed by her dad walking away.

He looked back at Cross again, as the guard inspected what seemed to be a stand of various pastries and cakes. There was a sad, yet nostalgic smile on his face.

Shattered watched as he exchanged some words with the vendor and took Celest's little hand and waved it. Clearly he was introducing them. The vendor seemed to coo at the baby a little and Cross straightened up proudly. Probably bragging about something cute Celest had done recently.

After a few more words he put some coins on the counter and was handed a paper bag, containing what Dream had to assume was a pastry of some kind. He waved good bye to the vendor and started to walk away.

As he did, he took his food item out of its bag and went to take a bite. He locked eyes with Dream mid-bite and gave him a slight deer in the headlights look. After finishing taking his bite, he smiled and waved to his lover. Dream waved back.

It was clear from Cross' expression that whatever he was eating was very tasty and it caused Dream to wonder how much food Cross was going to buy tonight.

Luna fussed again as her father and sister got further away.

Luna and Celest had been almost inseparable since day one, Shattered was still a little unnerved by it. They were always most comfortable when together. Knowing this, Dream told himself that Luna was fussing because she was parted from her sister. But another thought came to him.

What if she was sad about Cross leaving?

It was a stupid thing to think, both babies had been apart from Cross before and not responded this way. Yet the thought wouldn't leave him. It was the kind of thought that bounces around your head and burrows into you the moment you try to forget it.

The first time he left them with me for an extended period of time, I'd tried to....

A chill ran over him followed by a long twang of guilt, which caused him to tighten his grip on his daughter. Cross still didn't know about that night and he wasn't sure he could ever tell him. What was wrong with him? He acted like he cherished them these days (or at lest most days), but how could he when he'd thought of doing such a thing? When all he'd felt upon seeing them for the first time was nothing. His eyes stung and threatened to start crying. In that moment he felt tempted to call Cross back and have him wrap his arms around him. But he couldn't. Not while Cross didn't know.

"I'm sorry that I'm not the best parent to you Mi hija"

The words left his mouth as barely even a whisper. They sounded if he'd not been aware he said them. As if he'd not fully intend to say them out loud. His throat was dry and his soul was burning and twisting.

Cross says you are getting better.

One part of him said

But who's to say they will live to see you be better?

He answered to himself.

He felt the fabric of his jacket get tugged slightly. This drew his attention back to Luna.

She had turned in his arms slightly and was looking up at him with wide eyes. If Shattered hadn't known better, he'd have thought he could sense her worrying. Her tiny fist was curled in the fabric of his coat.

"paaaaaa gaa?"

Dream sighed.

"I get a lot of things wrong..... And I'm going to keep getting things wrong, I might be wrong most of the time"

The former guardian continued to speak in a near whisper, his finger stroking the tiny creature's cheek.

"but I'm going to get some things right as well...... And I'll make a deal with you"

Luna's face scrunched up a little. It was almost amusing to see, as if she was thinking really hard.

"if you and your sister keep on fighting, I'll keep on trying" Luna turned her face into his hand and chewed his glove.

"if you stick around long enough, you'll see a day when I get things right most of the time.... You want to see that right?"

"maaaaaa"

"deal?"

"gahhh gahh"

Dream laughed slightly "I'll take that as a yes"

He looked away from her again. Cross had completely disappeared from his view now, probably off stuffing chocolates. Since Dream wasn't someone who needed to eat, he didn't fully understand, but the sweet and warm smells in the air were very pleasant. He'd not eaten a thing for at least two and a half years, maybe he could try a little something. Carefully he slipped the tiny skeleton back into her carrier and fastened her in.

"Should we go check out the market mi pequeña estrella?" he asked, finally getting back to his feet. His daughter gave a gurgle of approval.

"then let's go shall we"

The atmosphere of the market was all together jolly. As he walked into the heart of it, his head throbbed again, but he didn't feel dizzy. He'd adjust to it fully soon.

Despite what he would want to admit, he felt a very slight anxiety without Cross by his side. He was in no way dependent on Cross, but he was so used to having him near, it was strange to have him absent. To not be able to feel his energy or be able to hold his hand.

No Dream! He thought. Don't be such a baby.

He patted his daughters head with his hand absentmindedly, feeling the fabric of her bow slip down slightly as he did. She giggled and a smile creeped onto Dreams face as she did.

A stand caught his eye. It was a stall of what seemed to be jewellery. As many of the stalls were, it was adorned with colourful lights and decorations of all shapes. Though this one in particular stood out to him. He wasn't sure why, but he decided to approach it.

The monster running the stand stiffened as he approached, but he paid it no mind. He could see the jewellery much closer now. Each piece seemed unique and hand made. There were bracelets, earrings, rings and necklaces, shimmering in all different colours. He greatly enjoyed looking over each individual piece, until his eye socket landed on one.

It was a necklace. Gold, set with a blueish purple stone. There was a small crescent charm on the chain as well. Dream stared at it and knitted his eyebrows. For a moment he wasn't sure why it caught his eye. But as he moved his hand up and traced his thumb across the stone, he realised. He then retracted his hand is if he'd been shocked. He stepped back and folded his hands together, but his sight remained locked on it.

Where are you? Are you even still alive?

A long sigh left his mouth as he forced himself to think of something else. But as he turned to walk away, he glanced at it again. It was almost like he couldn't bare to leave it.

I'm being silly, I'm a man, why would I need a necklace anyway?

With that, he tore his eyes away and proceeded to the next stand. As before the monster running it tensed slightly.

This vendor was selling what seemed to be plastic toys and figures. These weren't home made and seemed to be just the same old toys you could buy anywhere. There was doll house items, human figures and animals. He was so busy looking over the collection, that he didn't notice as his daughter reached for her favourite animal. He was only alerted to what she was doing by a slobbery squish sound.

She had suck the head of the toy into her mouth and was chewing on it.

"Luna no!" Shattered said "I don't want to have to buy that"

Carefully his pulled the plastic cow from his daughters mouth. A thin trail of a mix between gloop and saliva followed it. He had no idea how one baby could produce so much spit so fast. He wiped some off on his coat, but it didn't come close to cleaning it. Yeah....... he was going to have to buy it. He had a small purse of gold coins that Cross had given him. He hadn't asked where Cross had gotten the coins, it was probably best not to.

As he handed it to the seller and asked for the price, the slimy coating ran onto his fingers. Yuck. Not that he could really talk though, he was almost completely covered in something worse.

Dream expected to feel anger or disgust come from the stall owner. But instead he could only sense fear. His eye locked with the eyes of the monster behind the counter. It didn't take long for him to realise. Cross might have treated him like he was the most beautiful and sweet skeleton in the multiverse, but that didn't stop his appearance from being...... Striking at best.

He grimaced and handed the monster the money he owed and took back the toy.

"have a nice evening" he said, trying to sound friendly.

"y-you too sir.... Merry Christmas"

He turned away from the stall and walked back into the market. After inspecting the toy to make sure there was nothing small that she could choke on he handed it back to Luna. She happy put it back in her mouth, flicking his hand with her mouth tentacle as she did.

Shattered felt a burst of joy from his daughter, which made him light headed for a moment. After collecting his bearings he smiled.

"Adorable idiot" he said leaning over and kissing the top of her head. "now let's go find Daddy shall we?"

It wasn't a market that was too large, just a fair amount of stalls and stands and a handful of people. There was no doubt that he and Cross stood out, so it shouldn't be to hard to find his partner.

If I where cross.... Where would I go?

The answer came to his mind not even a second after asking it.

Chocolate...

As he'd noted before, there was a vast amount of edibles all around him. Mostly foods of the sweet variety, commonly fruity cakes and pies. But it wasn't long till he saw what he wanted. Out of the corner of his eye socket, he spotted what he was looking for. Just as he'd expected, chocolate.

Humans and normal monsters, seemed to be fascinated in forming chocolate into many different shapes. Animals, people, stars and bells. Shattered supposed that they got more pleasure consuming the sweet substance when it involved biting the head off of a defenceless reindeer, or mutilating a Santa or two.

He approached the stall of chocolate items. It was a pleasant smell, reminding him strongly of Cross' coat. There was no doubt the guard would have come here. He just had to find him.

Meanwhile, as Shattered looked for him, his mate was busy in a hearty conversation with his daughter.

The guard slipped a snowflake shaped chocolate into his mouth, having finished off the pastry long ago.

"now what should be get for Papa as a late birthday present hmm?" he asked Celest as she blew a spit bubble. "Something simple, you know he doesn't like flashy things"

Celest continued to blow a spit bubble and watched it as it expanded. "why is it that he must be so difficult to shop for....

His voice trailed off as he continued to ponder the question. What to get someone who didn't like material things. Other then his scarf, his ring and his crown, Dream never held onto things. Maybe he could get him a new accessory, like a new piece of jewellery or something. He continued to think and slipped another chocolate into his mouth. As he did this, without him noticing, the tiny skeleton had popped the spit bubble and was now reaching for the candy cane sticking out of his shopping bag full of goodies. She grabbed it and without hesitation, plunged the bright stripped stick into her mouth without a care.

After not even a second her face screwed up and she recoiled. She let out a wine of regret and disgust, which alerted Cross that she was distressed.

"No sweetie , that's pepper mint" the guard sighed, plucking the now sticky candy from his daughters hands. He put it on the counter of the stand they were stood next to. A stall selling Christmas fauna such as Holly, pinecones and mistletoe.

As he set the candy down, he saw daughters face still looked unhappy. "that must have tasted horrible" he said, dabbing the spit from around her mouth with his sleeve.

"we'll get you some nice warm milk when we get home ok?" he said in a baby voice, bouncing her slightly to try and cheer her up. It worked and she giggled. Cross sighed in relief, crisis averted.

He thought back to his question about presents. About Dream. It had been a little while since he'd left him. It would probably be a good idea to go back.

"Now if you are done sampling my treat bag Celly, maybe we should go check on-

"hey" came a voice from up close to his left. He jumped. After a second he realised he recognised the voice and turned to meet Dreams gaze, some chocolate still on his cheek. He was about to say something about how it was go to see that Dream was feeling better, when Dream spoke.

"wanna prove you aren't just a 20g wager?" the golden guardian said, with a slightly sly smile.

For a moment Cross was confused. Had the emotions caused his partner to go loopy? Before he could ask, Dream pointed his finger upwards. Feeling more confused, Cross glanced up. He could now see that they were in fact stood under a mistletoe. Quite a few actually. The sight of the white berried plant made his cheeks flush. He'd fallen right into Dream's trap. How had he not noticed.

He swallowed what was left of the snowflake the chocolate in his mouth "uhh um.... Uh"

He locked eyes with Dream again, finding that he'd taken a step closer. Taking a gloved hand and cupping Cross' cheek, he said.

"I'll take that as a yes"

With that he gently pulled Cross' face closer, till the gap was closed between them with a soft kiss. Cross' soul fluttered as Dream leaned in more to kiss him stronger. The taste of chocolate in his mouth was soon replaced with the flavour of bitter apple sauce. But he didn't mind it, he much liked apple sauce. Unfortunately the kiss wasn't long lived. The two were forced to separate after feeling their daughters starting to fuss, since they were being pressed between them. Dream stepped back slightly, giving his children room and took a breath of winter air. The euphoria from the kiss surged through him, as it had been a while since they had and therefore felt really good.

In fact, It had been a while since they'd done a lot of things. Including telling Cross that he........... That's something he needed to fix and fix straight away. His eyes locked on Cross.

"Te quiero, mi soldado" Dream said, with his face dusting gold. He looked away and pulled his scarf over his face slightly.

Cross returned his blush and smiled "yo tambien Te quiero, mi sol"

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yourhero404 · 5 years

Text

Katsuki’s Birthday (4/20/19)

A/N: TECHNICALLY I’M ONLY LIKE, TWO HOURS LATE TO THE PARTY (it’s uh almost 1am as I post this) BUT EVERY DAY IS A GOOD DAY TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE BAKUGO KATSUKI

Idk why I made this shit sad and I also dunno why I can’t hold onto a plot line but I’ve been exhausted and I just couldn’t let myself NOT do anything for his birthday so here, have this anyway

Villain!Reader and ProHero!Bakugo? You betcha. Hell yes. It’s honestly one of my favourite ideas and I really hope I can write more some time ;u;

Why was today so fucking busy?

Bakugo was never one to fuss about a birthday, especially his own, but the amount of work he’s got on his plate today was massive compared to the usual and he was beyond ready to just go home. A villain here, a theft there—aren't there other heroes working? Ridiculous. What made it worse was the fact that no one seemed to remember that his birthday had been today; He was happy because it meant there was no large, over the top party waiting for him, but some part of him actually felt... lonely.

He stood amongst the wreckage of a, luckily, abandoned warehouse, sweeping the building one last time to make sure he and the police arrested everyone involved in the bust. Very faintly, a creak came from broken boards of the exposed second floor above his head, causing his attention to snap to the silhouette leaning against the wall.

“Oh, Explode-a-boy,” the voice drawled from the clearer image of (Y/n), “Lookin’ a little worn out there.”

“Fuck off,” He spat, “Either come down here and get the ass kicking that’s coming to you or get lost. I’m not in the mood to deal with you.”

“Woah,” they took liberty of their sarcastic cat’s meow and hopped down to the space in front of him, “Those pants got your panties in a bunch today?”

“Didn’t I tell you to fuck off?”

His lips turned up to a snarl, a few medium explosions coming from his palm to serve as a warning for the villain in front of him to back off. They gave him a smile and threw their hands up as a sign of surrender before gesturing for him to relax.

The curve of their lips was unsettling—something about it pissed him off; It wasn’t smug or dark, but... genuine. That’s what pissed him off—how genuine this villain always was amongst their attitude, it was... human. They fought every time they came together, but it never seemed to end in a win or a loss, just a smile from them as they left—it felt like the damn training sessions he’d gone through in school. This villain was an odd one, and they left and even more odd feeling in his chest with each interaction.

“Okay okay, I can see you’re having a rough kinda day,” they offered their apology with a bow that held a large flourish, lightly making their way backwards towards their exit, “I just wanted to tell you about a little surprise I have for you-”

“What surprise?” He cut them off, his entire form dripping with irritation, “If you’re looking for a fight-”

“God, shut up for five seconds, big head.” They curled their lip to a snarl that rivaled his own, “Since you’re beyond rude, I won’t tell you now.”

“Tell me.”

“Not happening!” They turned quickly and made their way far out of his reach, throwing one last smile over their shoulder, “You’ll just have to wait for it!”

“Great,” he murmured to himself, “Just what I needed. More fucking work to do today.”

The rest of his day was just as hectic, the stress he held in his shoulders over the idea that some large-scale attack by (Y/n) could happen at any moment did nothing to help his mood, either. Not one ‘happy birthday’ text, not one second glance his way—everything was bland and mundane. Is this truly what it was like to be an adult? It was a shitty sort of life to lead, especially since he’d been dreaming of this heroic sort of world since he could remember. The only thing he looked forward to now was the shower that was calling his name, but he couldn’t have that either, it seemed.

All it took was a small crack of his front door to allow the smell of food to hit his face. Food? There shouldn’t be any smell of food; Now on high alert, he threw the door open quickly and held his hand ready for any sort of attack—only to be met with an empty room.

On the counter in his small kitchen sat a plate—a warm plate, actually, there was an abundance of steam coming off of the spicy curry that sat on it. Someone had to of just left it there moments ago, but who? The small, handwritten note beside it gave him his answer—and for some reason, it didn’t cause him any worry like it should have.

‘Nice place, Explodokill. You really should clean your fridge up, though—you really do live like a single dude. I told you I had a surprise for you, didn’t I? Figured you were too tired to do it yourself, so I made you something.’

He eyed the food sitting on the counter before a small arrow on the bottom of the note caught his eye, and he turned it over to find the continuing message.

‘NO, I didn’t poison the food. Killing you like that would be too easy, I want you to go out in some big, extravagant fight. Basically, it’s safe. Check the fridge when you’re done.’

Too tired to really argue with that logic, Bakugo cautiously took a bite, not really knowing why, but mostly trusting the food. It smelt divine—extra spicy and had some sort of twist to it, one he couldn’t put his finger on but knew he hadn’t had homecooked dinner that good in a while. Ignoring any sort of logic to be wary of their intentions, he checked the fridge as they had suggested and found a small, home-baked cake waiting for him as well. It was lopsided, frosted hastily, and held a coloured message with an equally lopsided smiley face-- ‘Congrats, you’re old’. He couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh—it shook his entire body until tears formed in his eyes; Just who was this person? What sort of evil villain breaks into a hero's home to cook them dinner and bake them a cake? What villain would go out of their way to do something so nice to their enemy? Bakugo always knew they were never a typical villain—maybe that’s why he somehow ended up fond of them, not that he’d admit it to anyone.

He ate his cake- it tasted good despite its appearance- in a deafening silence, only now truly realizing how lonely he had felt today. Dragging it along, he made the cake made for one last as long as possible to keep him busy, once it was gone, he’d fall further into the realization he was alone. With heavy sighs out of the way, he silently promised himself he’d wash the used dishes later and pushed past his bedroom door to find a small box sitting on his open window sill.

Knowing who it was from immediately, he unwrapped it- not too rough just in case they had some sort of joke to pull, but not too soft either- to find something shiny inside. On a metal chain sat a thin silver grenade-shaped pendant that resembled the gauntlets he wore with his costume, the iconic ‘X’ from his shirt engraved across it. He couldn’t stop the smallest smile from gracing his lips, only for it to drop in shock as he felt some sort of engraving on the back of it.

‘#1 Hero- King Explosion Murder’

Bakugo swallowed hard, irritated at how easily something like this had brought tears to his eyes. He was getting emotional over a necklace he received as a gift from a villain—a villain! Yet, they had listened to him each and every time they had spoken during their fights, paid attention to each little detail of their interactions, and took the time to get him something so heartfelt. It was stupid, he knew, to develop feelings for a villain, especially one considered to be your nemesis, but how could he stop himself from falling now that they had done all of this, when no one else had even bothered to remember? Maybe they weren’t a villain by choice but by necessity—they certainly were kind at heart, and it made his own feel as though it were going to jump out of his chest at the thought of them. He had a lot to think about, all of which held (Y/n) as the main topic.

Light footsteps hopped down from his window sill, very cautiously making their way in front of him. They stopped at a careful distance, ensuring an easy getaway should he decide to attack, but he hadn’t even looked up at them. He sat at the edge of his bed, allowing them to walk just a few steps forward to make up the distance, sitting in silence for a few more moments as he clutched his newest prized possession.

They made a move to say something, but were caught off guard at the grip he held on their wrist—before they could react, he pulled them close and wrapped his arms around their waist tightly, hiding his face against their abdomen. A few moments of realization were all it took before they gave him a gentle reaction, lightly combing his tangled hair with their fingers and laying their other hand on the back of his neck in reassurance. Normally, they would take the opportunity to tug on his nerves, piss him off, make him break—but they only smiled sadly to themselves as they barely caught the sniffling and hiccups that came from the blonde wrapped around them. Falling for a hero was the stupidest thing they could have ever done, but seeing just how soft the explosive man could be in times like this made every interaction they’ve had worth it.

(Y/n) consoled him as well as grieved for their own feelings, knowing just how vastly different their worlds were, and silently accepting they’d be destined for a road of destruction, but for the moment, just this one moment, maybe the two of them could be happy. They felt his arms pull them closer as they spoke softly, making the moment between them as personal as it could be—no hero, no villain, just human.

“Happy Birthday, Katsuki.”

#bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #its loving :clap: and appreciating :clap: bakugo hour :clap:#bnha drabbles #mha drabbles #boku no hero academia drabbles #my hero academia drabbles #bakugo birthday #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader

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boomboombitches-blog1 · 6 years

Text

Can’t Wait

Pairing: Seokmin x Reader Genre: Angst/Fluff- Spy!DK though there’s no action in here, sorry Warnings: Depression, anxiety-ish, loneliness, idk, the whole sha-bang

The morning was cold. Not unusually so, but even after months it still felt strange to wake up alone- to be the only one in over a mile radius. The distance was for the best, though. You were protected, he was protected, and the baby, still growing inside of you, was protected. No-one would find you out here but him, or his teammates. He was so careful, in that sense. But he was never particularly careful with using protection, you thought.

He’d been gone just over two months when you found out. Now, it’d been about three and a half, and still you’d not been able to let him know. Missions don’t often last over two weeks, hardly over one month, and rarely over two, but still you’d heard nothing. For the sake of your baby’s health and your own sanity, you forced yourself into not worrying about it- but he’d never been gone this long. Every day you woke wondering when one of his teammates would show up at your door, unable to meet your gaze, and hand you the emotionless apology letter clutched in his tired grasp.

It hadn’t happened yet, but as much as you told yourself not to worry, it just seemed impossible he’d come back after so long. You had all but accepted that you’d be raising his child by yourself. You stood from your bed, wrapping your arms around yourself as you stare out at the snow in the backyard, changing every color to white as it layers itself over it. No sweater was thick enough to protect you from the biting cold in the air- maybe partially from the snow outside, but mainly from being alone.

Your footsteps rung through the house, traveling through otherwise silent air as if to torment you. But you kept walking, holding tightly to your sides as you padded to the kitchen, the cold floor shocking your tired feet with every step you take. You made yourself a warm drink, sitting down at the counter and staring out the window at the snow, as you try to keep your own racing thoughts in line. It was almost impossible for you to understand everything you were saying to yourself- all you knew was you wanted everything to shut up. As much as you hated the silence, you had grown to accept it. Besides, talking to yourself just wasn’t the same, was it.

Your fingers tapped idly against the sides of your mug, tears sliding silently down your cheeks. You were cold. You were tired. You were alone.

You couldn’t stand to wipe them away, that might feel like wiping him away- as the tears you cried for him seemed like all you had left of him, and he was all you wanted. You had no pictures of him, as they weren’t allowed to be taken for your own safety. You had no items of his, as he had minimal belongings so that he could pack everything up and leave in a day if needed, and since he was off on a mission, everything was with him. You didn’t even have a sock he lost in the washer.

All you really had were your memories, which were getting blurrier by the day, his face already an impossible picture to put together- and the tears you cried for him.

It was almost like some part of him faded more with every moment, whether that be his image, the sound of his voice, how he felt, how he tasted, how he smelled, or simply the memories of things you’d done together, it all faded. You were almost at the point of insanity, convincing yourself fearfully that by the time your baby was one their father will have never existed in your life. He’d never come back, continuing to fade from your memory until you had nothing left.

The mug falls to the floor as your grasp slips, body weak as you break into sobs. How can you do this alone? How can you do anything alone? He was the strength that fed into you. You were a lone pinwheel, unable to move without his encouraging wind. He was your everything, and you were his, but now, you were almost sure he wouldn’t be coming back from the mission he was sent on. Maybe you should’ve told him not to go. You should’ve had a feeling, because when do they ever send his full team on missions? They don’t, especially not out-of-country missions. It was too dangerous for a full team on out-of-country missions, but they sent them this time. All thirteen.

What could be so dangerous that all 13 of them were needed to fight? Nothing you wanted your boyfriend in on, you knew for sure. Maybe not fight, as technically, they were the technical and spy unit, sometimes assassination though only from a distance- but Seokmin had warned you that he might have to physically fight people, as this was more of an inside mission.

You hated yourself. Why didn’t you tell him not to go? Why didn’t you get down on your knees and plead for him to stay with you? You couldn’t handle this by yourself, you couldn’t even make yourself eat- whether that be by fault of the nausea or simply missing him, you didn’t know. All you knew, and all you cared about, was that you needed him to get through this. And now, you told yourself, you didn’t have him.

He was gone.

You could feel the steam from your drunk floating up from the floor where it’s spilled amongst shards of your mug, warmth sliding over the bottom of your bare feet. You don’t move to clean it up. As if for some sort of comfort, you place your hand on your abdomen, feeling the bulge in your stomach through your sweater.

But then, you heard the knocking at your front door. Four hard knocks, followed by a pause and then three softer knocks. The unit knock. Your greatest fear was coming alive before you.

You hoped it was someone you knew well, someone who would hold you and let you cry into their chest, then maybe lay with you until you could fall asleep, but you knew someone stronger would come, because none of them could stand to see you break. Slowly, carefully, you slid off the counter stool you were sitting in and wandered towards the door, fingertips brushing every surface you can reach on your way. You’d never felt so cold.

There was no life in your fingertips, nor was there any hint of a warm, homely buzz in the walls. All of your senses were lost without him. You couldn’t feel right, or taste anything it seemed, and who knew if the things you saw and heard were accurate. You felt like you were going insane.

Every step towards your door felt like a step further away from him, but you kept walking, slowly. There was no color whatsoever in this hall. You were surrounded by white. White walls, white tile floor, white rug, white door, white light, a white table, and a mirror over it to reflect the white back even more. There was only a single window above the door, but even that was white with frost. It was so cold in there- and lonely. You never liked to be there, even when Seokmin was with you. But now you were alone, surrounded by the blaring white walls and uncaring silence.

Your hand stuttered in front of the doorknob, as if you were afraid it would shock you. It didn’t. The cold metal burned at your palm as you gripped onto it, other hand reaching up to twist the locks. The click of the locks was almost painfully loud, piercing the silence you were only just getting used to. You twisted the knob, pulling the door open slowly, as you know that as soon as you look out it, he’s really gone. You relish in your last moments of not knowing.

Just before the door is open wide enough, you hear a voice you could never mistake. You pause, listening to the lovely performance of ‘I’ll be home for Christmas’- even though it was still only late November. You wondered if you were going crazy, if any of it was real. But you laughed through the tears in your eyes, throwing the door open and jumping into his arms. His arms wrapped around your waist and he laughs loudly, resting his head on your shoulder as you bury your face in his neck, spinning you around, because the happiness buzzing through his veins was too strong for him to keep still.

Three months later, he’d expected you to have assumed he were dead and moved back with your parents until you could find a home in the city. But you had waited for him, and he couldn’t be more ecstatic.

He hears you sob, feels your tears drip onto his skin, and sees your body jolt with the force of your cries, but he knows you well enough to recognize your tears as your overwhelming relief, and so he only pulls you tighter. What he is confused about though, is how much bigger your boobs seem to be. He doesn’t question it, carefully lkissing the top of your head and putting you down.

“How are you? I missed you. I’m so sorry i took so long, baby, i’d explain it all right now but it’s a long story. Are you feeling okay? You looked like you’d been crying when you came out. God- you’re not wearing a coat, come on let’s go inside.” He rambles, taking you by the hand and carrying his duffel bag in the other as he leads you inside.

He drops his bag in the hall by the door, locking it behind him and taking you to sit on the couch. He gently lies down on the couch, resting his head in your lap and staring up at you. “You seem different.” He says. “Are you okay? You’re not mad at me, are you?”

You shake your head. “I’m fine. Good, really. I’m not mad at you. I have to tell you something.”

Your heartbeat starts to quicken as you say the last bit, terrified that he won’t be okay with your news. He smiles up at you, feeling you start to get nervous and shifty beneath him. He grabs one of your hands in his, placing them both down on his chest.

“You can tell me anything. I’m here for you now.” He says, raising his other hand to cup your cheek. “Should i sit up?”

You nod awkwardly, not meeting his eyes as you pull away from his touch so he can sit up. His eyebrows furrow as he looks at you, worriedly, reaching to hold your hands. “Tell me please.” He says.

You gently slip your hands from his grasp, grabbing his wrists gently. “Please don’t get angry.” You slowly slide his hands under your sweater, pressing them to the skin of your belly.

He stares at his hands under your sweater in confusion for a moment, trying to figure out what it meant. Suddenly, his gaze snaps up to meet yours.

“Baby..” He breathes slowly, questioningly, staring at you, and it’s clear he knows.

You nod slowly. He sits up in shock, staring at your belly for a while. Finally, he drags his eyes up your body and looks lovingly into your teary eyes. He breaks into a grin, tears filling his own eyes. He tackles you into a hug, burying his face in your neck. “Oh my god- How long have you known? I’m in shock. I feel terrible, i shouldn’t have left-”

“You couldn’t have known.” You say. “Don’t worry about it.” Your arms wind around him, lovingly holding him closer. You had never felt so grateful to hold him in your arms.

“Maybe a month and a half, i’ve known. I’m about three months along i think. I’m assuming it was.. uh.. the night before you left.” You blush, remembering the heat of the night.

He pulls back enough to smile down at your face, though still on top of you as he chuckles softly. “Yeah. I remember. It probably was.” He leans down once more, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You kiss him back tenderly, still somewhat amazed that he’s there in the first place. “This is the beginning of the rest of our lives, hm? It all goes from here.” He sounds breathless. Amazed, confused, in awe, and maybe a little scared at the idea,

“I can’t wait.”

#dk drabble #seokmin drabble #dokyeom drabble #lee seokmin #seventeen #seventeen drabble #seventeen scenario #dk scenario #seventeen imagine #dk imagine #drabbles #dk #seokmin #dokyeom #spy!au #though its only really got mentions of it #no action here #angst #fluff

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marvelous-imagining · 7 years

Text

Trust

Request: Bucky x reader You're Bucky's own personal medicine and the only one that can calm him down. And HYDRA used you to keep him in line. And she is small and fragile but when Bucky is taken to the Stark Tower he wants her so the team has to go get her from the HYDRA base. And she doesn't talk much and gets scared and only trusts Bucky and he is protective over her.

A/N: HEY! I’m sorry it’s been so long since I posted anything but here is a Bucky imagine for ya! I wonder if you even remembered that this log existed, haha. It’s not my best work... But I tried. Hopefully you’ll like it! Yikes... Before anyone asks, I’m not going to do a second part for this one. I just have so much going on I don’t have time to get more requests

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Words: 4,483

Warning(s): idk man, the reader is very scared and sensitive idk

HYDRA....

What a terrible, terrible place.

Bucky had been stuck there for decades and to HYDRA's surprise, the longer they kept him in there, the more difficult it was to keep him in line.

Somehow, they had gotten a hold of you. Just a kid all alone, wondering in the woods, surprisingly coming across a base where you decided to search help from.

You were weak, small, fragile. The minute someone set their eyes on you they could see that you weren't much for fighting. No amount of training nor brainwashing would make you an asset like the Winter Soldier and HYDRA wasn't going to settle for anything inferior to the Winter Soldier.

You were just a child, searching for help after unfortunate events. You had lost your parents, all the people around your small neighborhood after a surprise attack. You didn't even know who was responsible for it and you never found out.

You saw the base, as threatening as it looked, and decided to challenge your luck and depended on them for safety. You had no other choice. You were helpless, alone.

HYDRA took you in. They healed your wounds, they fed you, they took care of you when you so desperately needed it.

They weren't nice, though. They did help you in some ways but you knew you shouldn't have been in a place like that. The place was full of evil people and you weren't evil.

Still you couldn't leave.

They kept you in for years. They just kept you in there. For the first few years they never used you for anything which was odd because they never wasted time on people who were practically useless to benefit their evil organization.

One day when you were just casually walking along the halls of the base, you heard something happening around the corner. You heard yells, groans, crashing sounds.

You carefully looked behind the corner and saw that a man with a metal arm was beating up HYDRA soldiers. The man threw one of them across the hall, making you let out a gasp as you hid behind the corner, trying to get away as quietly as possible.

You knew you were doomed when you felt a hand grab your arm. The man with the metal arm spun you around and as you saw his cold, emotionless gaze, you shrieked. You closed your eyes and waited for the worst.

He placed his human hand around your throat and lifted you up from the ground. You tried to gasp for air but the man's grip on you tightened. You lifted your hands up to his and tried to rip it away from you and opened your eyes which led him to drop you to the ground.

You lay on the ground, holding your throat as you coughed, gasping for air. You looked up at the man and saw him looking down at you with a scared look. Before you could think about it any further, you blacked out.

The second time you met the metal-armed was when a guard grabbed you and brought you to a lab. You saw the Winter Soldier sitting on a chair with his chest heaving drastically.

You tried to back away, afraid of getting close to him since he had almost strangled you to death the last time you saw him.

You didn't know why you were brought in the lab. You had no idea what good you were to them.

The guard poked your back with his gun, making you take a step closer to the man who almost killed you. You turned back to look at the guard, showing him how scared you were but he didn't seem to care.

So you turned towards the man, seeing him struggling against the metal binds that were holding him in the chair. You neared him carefully. When he noticed you nearing him, he jumped and tried to wriggle away even harder.

When he finally looked up, meeting your eyes, he stopped fidgeting but his body was still tense.

You still had no idea why you were there with him. You didn't know why they had brought you in the lab.

As you got closer, the man called Winter Soldier relaxed and his brows knitted together as he looked at you in confusion.

You frowned as you placed your hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. As soon as your palm touched his bare shoulder, he relaxed and his face fell slightly. He looked up at you with a sad look in his eyes and with his mouth slightly open.

You looked at the guard who was standing by the door and just saw him nod in approval, a small grin on his face.

You turned back to look at the metal-armed man and got confused as well.

What the hell just happened?

Turns out you could make the Winter Soldier relax. He trusted you for some reason.

The people working for HYDRA noticed your effect on the Winter Soldier, they decided to use it to their advantage.

Whenever he was disobeying orders even in his brainwashed state, they would use you to keep him in line. First they'd make you calm him down on your own and if needed, they'd threaten to hurt you if he didn't obey.

Although the Soldier had grown very keen on you, it wasn't easy to trust him. You had your reasons to take your time.

Even though you had a hard time building a trust with him, you still felt bad for him for all the things HYDRA made him do. You were there when they wiped his memories. You were there and had to hear the screams of agony he let out. Sometimes you'd be escorted to the room next to the lab but you could still hear his screams. Hearing that was hard.

Sometimes when the people working for HYDRA noticed how the wiping took a toll on Bucky, they'd tell you to go and calm him down.

While you were in the next room, a man handed you a cupcake. They did that sometimes. You thought it was probably to make you feel like HYDRA wasn't all bad. They knew you were a good person and a little bit naive, they thought they could somehow make you believe HYDRA was doing the right thing...

With cupcakes.

For an evil organisation that has been active for decades, they were pretty damn stupid at times.

The man who handed you the cupcake told you to go back in the lab. The Soldier's screams had stopped. You stood up without the man having to grab you and force you to go in. You held the cupcake in your hand and opened the door by pushing it with your other hand. The people in the lab noticed you and decided to leave, giving you some time to be alone with him.

The Winter Soldier saw you and he adverted his gaze to the floor. You started making your way to him slowly and let out a sigh. You sat down on a chair that was in front of him and looked down at the cupcake in your hand.

You lifted your gaze up to him and saw the sad, pained expression on his face. You bit your lip, thinking of a way to make that disappear. You fiddled with the cupcake in your hands and suddenly got an idea. You lifted your hand, showing him the cupcake. He looked at it questioningly, then he turned his gaze to you. You nodded, silently telling him to take the cupcake.

He hesitantly took it from you and inspected it. He turned his gaze to you again, making sure it was alright to take a bite of it and finally he did.

You watched him as he carefully took a bite of the cupcake. You stifled a giggle as you saw the menacing Winter Soldier looking at a cupcake in confusion while a piece of pink frosting stuck to his nose. His face softened as he took in the sweet taste of the pastry. He took another bite and turned to you again. "Thank you." He said quietly.

You were slightly taken aback by his words. You had never heard him thank someone before.

"You— You're welcome." You replied very quietly.

He already seemed a lot more relaxed.

HYDRA was definitely a kind of a place you'd want to leave as soon as possible but finally becoming close with the Winter Soldier, it was all a bit more bearable.

You didn't feel alone and somehow you felt safe when he was around. Probably because he made sure he would never let anyone hurt you. He was very protective.

You did feel bad as well. HYDRA was literally using you to keep him in check.

That was until one day in 2014 when everything fell apart. The Winter Soldier was sent to kill Captain America once again.

He didn't come back.

He left you alone surrounded by evil people. You didn't blame him, though. Any sane person would have fled when they got the chance. Too bad you weren't with him when he left. Maybe he could have taken you along with him.

After finally leaving HYDRA, Bucky's life had been hard for a while. He had to make it on his own, make his own choices, take care of himself... It was no easy task. For centuries, he had been controlled, made to do things against his own will. He hadn't been given a choice in so long and after leaving HYDRA, he finally did.

He had been given a choice and his first choice was to go back to HYDRA and save you.

But of course that would have been too risky. If Bucky had tried to do so and failed, itwouldn't have ended well for either of you.

After a long time of struggling to get his life together, he knew he wasin a good place. He was surrounded by people who had helped him a lot, some who understood what he was going through, who were there to help and support him.

He looked around the common room, looking at everyone individually. Everyone was doing their own thing, chatting with others.

It was a calm, quiet night at the Stark Tower which gave Bucky time to think in peace without anyone interrupting him.

While he kept glancing at the Avengers scattered all over the huge space, he began thinking about how they'd react if he brought up his wishes to rescue you from HYDRA's hold.

He had been thinking about you a lot. Every day since he escaped, to be exact. He didn't want to leave you alone but he knew he couldn't go get you on his own.

Looking at the others in the room, he realized he had a team. He had a team who could help him get you out.

But he wasn't sure if they were up for it.

"Bucky?" Steve asked quietly. "What are you thinking about?"

"You seem sad." Wanda pointed out. "What's up?"

Bucky turned his gaze to his hands that were on his lap, fingers drumming on his thighs in a nervous manner. He sighed, "I need a favor."

"What favor?" Nat asked, brows furrowing in concern.

Bucky's face formed a frown as he thought of a way to explain what was going through his mind. "I, uhh..." He began. "I need to go back to HYDRA." He said, realizing he stopped at an awful part. "I need to go get Y/N."

"And Y/N is...?"

"Someone who needs to be saved." Bucky said shortly. "I want to go get her but I need your help." He continued, seeing the others still felt a bit hesitant. "Please. She doesn't belong in that place!

"Please." He begged. "I need to get her out of there. Steve," he turned to his friend for support. "I've told you about her. You know she deserves to be saved."

Steve stayed quiet for a minute and looked at his teammates, seeing them giving him confused looks. He nodded, telling them he thought they should help Bucky save you.

It took a while but the team finally agreed when they noticed how much Bucky wanted to rescue you. "As long as you tell us more about her on the way there."

Bucky promised to do so, already planning on what to say.

"Okay. Let's go."

Hearing gunshots from the hallway on the other side of the door, you sat up on your bed and backed up against the wall. You shook as you brought your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs.

You started hearing groans of pain as the gunshots started to fade out. You heard some yelling but couldn't quite figure out what they were saying.

You heard someone turning the doorknob and you jumped. The door was locked but the person behind the door kept yanking on it. Suddenly, the yanking stopped and you sighed in relief only to scream when the door came crashing down on the floor. You hid your face in your knees and cried for the person not to hurt you only to feel them gently place their hand on your shoulder. Soon you felt another hand being placed on your shoulder but it felt a lot harder, colder.

You let out a gentle, quiet gasp and you lifted your gaze up to the person, causing your eyes to well up. "Winter?" You asked with a voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded and took your hands in his, pulling you up from the bed. "Oh, God." Bucky let out a weak sob. "Y/N, I am so sorry I wish I could have come soon—"

You interrupted him by throwing your frail arms around his body and squeezing him as tight as you could muster. You buried your face in his chest and let the tears fall. You clawed at his back as you sobbed into his chest, feeling so overjoyed and relieved to finally see him again, after a few years that felt like a couple of hundred.

His right hand made its way to the back of your head while holding you close to his body. "It's okay." He whispered. "I'm here."

You started hearing gunshots again and you jumped a little. Bucky pulled away, placed his hands firmly on your shoulders and looked you straight in the eye. "I'm getting you out of here." He said. "I need you to stay behind me at all times. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes, I do." You said and swallowed the lump in your throat.

"Good. Let's go." He said and turned around, holding his right arm behind him as if he was shielding you. He started walking away, towards the exit. He blocked bullets with his metal hand and even shot a few HYDRA soldiers as the two of you made your way out of the base.

You saw that the Avengers were scattered all around, fighting the HYDRA soldiers so Bucky could get you out without much difficulty.

You followed Bucky out of the base but stopped as he started to make his way towards a quinjet. You stared at it with wide eyes as you stood still.

"Y/N?" Bucky questioned. "What are you doing? Come on!" He yelled.

You shook your head, never taking your eyes off the quinjet.

Bucky started making his way towards you again. "What's wrong?" He asked a lot softer.

You shook your head again. "I-I can't go there." You said, feeling scared of what might happen if you were taken in again.

Bucky sighed, understanding why you weren't be able to trust other people. You had been stuck in that HYDRA base for many years and the only one you were able to trust was Bucky and even that took a long time. No wonder you'd feel hesitant about going to a quinjet to be taken away, although the people taking you where nowhere near like HYDRA.

"Listen to me." Bucky said as he looked at you. "Do you trust me?" He asked.

You nodded.

"Good. I trust these people." Bucky said as he referred to the Avengers. "They're good people. I promise they won't do anything bad to you, okay?" He continued, sending you a small smile. "I'll take care of you."

Your gaze wandered between him and the quinjet for a while before you agreed to go in the quinjet. Bucky grabbed your arm and dragged you inside the aircraft.

Everyone made it to the quinjet quickly. You sighed in relief as you realized you got out without any scratches. You looked at Bucky who had a few wounds.

"You're hurt." You said quietly and reached for a first aid kit, helping him with his wounds. "Can I?" You asked.

"Can you help me to take care of my wounds and not die?" Bucky asked with a smile. "Sure, why not?" He continued with a laugh.

You found yourself feeling surprised by the joyful sound that came out of his mouth.

He was happy.

He hadn't laughed like that while he was controlled by HYDRA. Not even once.

He had smiled a few times but laughed? Nope.

You gave him a small smile in return and began tending his wounds.

It had been almost three weeks since Bucky and the others came to your rescue. You hadn't really left your room that much.

The only one you really talked to was Bucky who had asked you to call him by that name. While with HYDRA, you had called him Winter. They kept wiping his memories, his identity included and that is why you only got to call him the Winter Soldier, Winter for short.

He was the only one you trusted.

Having been held captive by HYDRA for many years, you had your reasons to not trust the people who kind of did the same thing HYDRA had done; take you in.

You understood that they were the Avengers, Earth's Mightiest Heroes but you still had your doubts about them.

"Come on, Y/N." Bucky said as he sat down on the bed next to you. "Just come to spend some time with us."

You shook your head, denying his request.

"You can't spend the rest of your life cramped up in this room." Bucky pointed out.

"You don't know that." You muttered.

"Y/N..." He scolded. "Just give it a try."

"Winter—"

"Bucky." He corrected.

You sighed, "Sorry... Bucky, I'm not comfortable with being around them." You whispered as if someone could have heard you. "I'm... I'm scared." Your voice lowered so much you barely even said the last word out loud.

Bucky frowned and placed his hand on yours that was placed on the mattress between the two of you. "You have nothing to be scared of." He told you.

You shrugged, turning away from him.

"I promise."

Hearing those words, you turned back to him seeing him looking at you in the eyes, trying to make you believe what he had just said.

"You'll be there, right?" You asked shyly.

He nodded, smiling. "Of course I will."

You then heaved a sigh and nodded your head, getting up from the bed. "Lead the way, Bucky."

You followed Bucky to the common room, staying behind him the whole way. You pulled on the sleeves of your sweater, balling them in your hands nervously as you started hearing laughing and chatter.

You heard them quiet down and you looked over Bucky's shoulder to see them looking in your direction.

"Hi, Y/N." You heard Steve greet you, followed by a chorus of quiet greetings.

You stayed quiet and followed Bucky to one of the couches, sitting down right against the arm rest, leaving space for Bucky to sit down on the seat in the middle.

They began conversing and and you grabbed a decorative pillow, running your finger over the patterns on it as you stayed quiet, not joining the conversation.

"So, Y/N," you heard your name come up and your body tensed. You hastily turned your gaze up to see everyone's attention turned to you. "You're awfully quiet."

You turned your gaze back to the pillow on your lap, trying to stay out of the conversation but Tony Stark wasn't really having it.

"Tell us about yourself." He said, making you lift your head and look at him nervously. "Where are you from?"

"Oh, uhm—"

"Where's your family?"

"Uh, they—" You tried to answer another one of his questions but another one was thrown at you.

"Burgers or pizza?" Clint intervened, obviously asking the important questions.

Your breathing began quickening and your chest was heaving up and down in a fast pace. Bucky placed a hand on your shoulder to calm you down. "Tony." Bucky turned to him with a glare. "Baby steps." He hissed. "Just like we talked."

"I'm sorry but she's not talking at all!" Tony whispered as if you couldn't have heard him that way. "I'm just trying to start a conversation."

So they kept asking you questions, also some were telling the others to stop and let you be which just caused everyone to start raising their voices and tell at each other.

You stood up, not able to handle the uncomfortable tension anymore. You excused yourself quietly and hurried back to your room.

Bucky quickly caught up to you and asked you to stop yet you still continued your way. He then decided to just follow you to your room, he just wanted to make sure you were alright, or wanted to help you if you weren't.

When you finally got to your room, your breathing had slowed down to its normal pace. You sat down on the bed and waited for Bucky to close the door and move over to sit down beside you.

"Did you see that?" You asked quietly. "They were interrogating me like I was some kind of crime suspect, just bombing me with questions."

Bucky sighed, "They just want to get to know you. Even if you believe it or not, it's true."

"It's a little too much." You admitted, looking up at him. "Maybe they could tone it down?"

Bucky nodded, "I'll talk to them." He said with a chuckle. "I swear they're only trying to help."

You nodded, giving him a small, sad smile. Chewing the inside of your cheek, your brows furrowed as your gaze adverted to your hands that were set on your lap. "Bucky." You called out quietly, looking at him, seeing him already going over to the door. "Why me?"

He turned to you with a confused look on his face, "What?"

"Why me?" You asked again. "What made you trust me?"

Bucky walked over to you slowly, taking a seat beside you one again. He placed his elbows on his knees and looked at you, tilting his head slightly. "I didn't really trust you at first." He began, looking back on the first day you met. "It's just... When I held you up by the throat and saw the look in your eyes..." A frown formed on his face. "You were scared but also confused. You didn't know why I was doing that to you, hurting you."

You brought one of your knees up to your chest and rested your hands on it. You waited for Bucky to continue as you thought back on the day as well.

"The people who I was ordered to kill always had a scared look in their face but never confused. They always knew or had a hunch why it was happening." He explained. "I know I wasn't sent to kill you, neither the guards in that hall but even they didn't have confused looks on their faces. They knew why I was fighting them, I had my reasons." He quieted down again, sitting up straight. "But I had no reason to hurt you."

You adverted your gaze from his and turned to look at his metal hand that was gripping the edge of the mattress between the two of you. Anyone could see it wasn't easy for him to talk about the subject. You decided to do what usually made him calm down; you placed your hand on his.

He tensed slightly as he saw you placing your hand on his metal hand but relaxed quickly, just like he always did. He turned his hand to lace his fingers through yours before he continued. "You hadn't done anything wrong. You looked so confused, not guilty in the slightest. You were innocent." He sighed, scooting closer to set your intertwined hands on his knee. "I felt so bad, Y/N. I guess the people noticed how I reacted and... Well, you know."

You nodded, smiling. "So, even as the Winter Soldier, you still—"

"Had a heart?" He asked. "Are you really surprised? You've known me for years." He laughed.

"But you knew who was guilty and who was not. How?"

He shrugged, "It's all in the look they give you. I can't really explain it much further but that's how you know."

You nodded again, looking at your intertwined hands.

"After a while I started trusting you."

"Before or after the first cupcake I gave you?" You smiled, even letting out a tiny laugh.

"Before."

"Really?" You asked, surprised.

He nodded. "I know it took you longer, though." He muttered. "But you started trusting me eventually."

"I did." You said quietly. "I trust you with my life, Bucky." You said, making him smile.

He opened his arms, muttering a quiet "C'mere," and pulled you in for a hug. You gladly accepted the hug and rested your head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around you. You heard the door opening but didn't lift your head to look who it was. You heard Bucky say, "Not now," to the person at the door.

"I just—"

"Not now." Bucky said through gritted teeth.

"I came to apologize." You recognized the slightly irritated voice belonging to Tony.

"It's okay." You muttered, still not lifting your head from Bucky's shoulder.

Tony looked at Bucky in surprise and he was about say something but Bucky lifted a finger over his lips, telling Tony to be quiet. Tony rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath before closing the door.

"Thank you, Bucky." You whispered and pulled away, smiling at him. "Thanks for everything."

Bucky just smiled and pulled away, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze. "So what do you want to do now?"

You shrugged, "I just want to stay in my room for a while."

"Okay," he nodded, getting up. "If you need anything..."

"I'll come to you. Thanks, again." You said with a sweet smile. Bucky sent you one back before leaving your room, closing the door behind him.

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