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#his announcement that he had cancer hit me hard
lame-old-blog · 2 years
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He’s saying “Sub to technoblade, 12 mil isn’t enough”
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ohtobeleah · 1 year
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Congratulations on hitting 4K!
May I please request:
#PL1
Rooster, Smut - “Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop.”
Thank you so much!
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Warnings: Mentions of possible breast cancer. No actual smut ahead. Roommate reader x Bradley Bradshaw ***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**
You were supposed to meet Rooster at the Hard Deck after your appointment, but when you actually finished with the tests you had to get done–the shower back at your shared apartment seemed like a better place to break down than in the middle of the Hard Deck that would surely be teaming with Naval Aviators. 
“Y/n?” Bradley began to grow increasingly more impatient as he got no response from you. “Y/n, come on, open the door?” He groaned as he tried turning the handle. He knew it wouldn't work, that it wouldn't open the door that separated him from his housemate, colleague, friend and above all the love of his life. “You've been in there for over an hour, open the door?” 
Rooster could do all the knocking and all the begging he wanted but you were in too deep in the shower you were enjoying. Or just using it as a coping mechanism to ward off the impending doom you felt had been cast over you ever since you took those stupid tests. Whatever way you wanted to look at the situation unfolding–you still weren't going to unlock the bathroom door and allow Rooster to come on in and assert his unwanted opinion on the matter. 
“Cover up, I'm coming in!” Bradley announced as he picked the lock on the bathroom door, giving you approximately three point five seconds to do literally nothing as you stood in the shower under the stream of hot water and drank your version of a Gin Sour from one of your fancy cocktail glasses. To Bradleys surprise when he finally made his way into the bathroom you’d been in for the better half of probably an hour and a half, you had not done what he’d asked and covered up. “Holy shit–” He sighed as he brought a hand up to cover his eyes as they threatened to trail higher than up your very naked, very wet legs. “What the hell are you doing in here? Our fucking water bill is gonna be insane!” 
“I'm basking in the glory of my imminent death Bradshaw–” You mumbled as you took another sip of your cocktail. “Doctor Rodriguez told me to enjoy the little things, so here I am, enjoying what was a perfectly good shower until you started banging on the door.” 
“What do you mean imminent death Clov, I thought you were just going for a check up this afternoon?” Bradley questioned as he turned away to lean on the shower door, facing away from you so he could uncover his eyes from the palm of his hands. “You never showed at the Hard Deck and weren’t returning my calls so I came straight home–spill.” Bradley pressed. “What gives with the crazy ass water usage.” You took another sip of your drink and thought about if you really wanted to go into heavy detail with Rooster about your health, or the possibility of your not so good health. He was only your housemate. Your colleague, there was no commitment to care. He didn't owe you anything–but something in the way he so desperately needed to be in the same bathroom as you made you think he cared enough to want to know the truth. 
“You really wanna know?” 
“Absolutely–'' There was no hesitation in Rooster's voice, no regret in his tone or fear that you'd drown on for hours and hours. He just wanted to know if you were okay, if you were alright. Because unbeknownst to you, you were the love of Bradley Bradshaw's life. “Spill the beans Clover.” So that's exactly what you did as you placed your cocktail down on the little rack and reached out for your shampoo bottle. 
“I didn't just go in for a random check up–” Bradley could gather that much himself but you thought it may have been a good place to start. “I actually went to get a test done, with the oncologist that diagnosed my mum a few years ago.” Bradley also knew that much like himself, you had lost your mother too, but much more recently than he lost his. 
“Cancer?” 
“Brca.” You replied and Bradley remained silent as he turned slightly to watch your sudsy hair fall down your exposed back. He didn't dare look down to where your ass began to swell. “It's a gene, I went to find out if I inherited a genetic mutation from my mum that means I'm probably gonna die of breast cancer.” You scoffed. “Little gene might even throw in ovarian cancer, free or charge just to make sure I'm good and dead.” 
“And?” 
“I don't find out the results for a couple of days but I'm preparing myself for the worst, hoping for the best.” 
“I'm sorry–” All Bradley wanted to do in the moment was hold you, give you false hope and tell you everything was gonna be alright. He was pretty good at that. 
“Yeah, it's a tough break for me right.” You paused as you turned around, not caring enough about the fact you were standing before Bradley Bradshaw fully exposed with just the glass shower screen between you. “But you wanna know the real pisser though?” You asked as Bradley just stared at you like he was trying to process everything you were telling him. “There are two variations of the gene—if I have one, then eventually having children will reduce my chances of getting cancer, but if I have the other? Then well—it’s uh, it increases my chances.” 
There was no hiding the tears that had fallen freely down your cheeks as you washed the shampoo from your hair. As you closed your eyes and focused on the stream, Braldey started removing articles of clothing. His signature throw over hawaiian shirt, his actual T-shirt, jeans, boxer briefs and slowly opened the shower door. 
“My sister Casey got tested a few years ago, she has the ‘baby good’ kinda death gene, so she got her buddy Andre to knock her up pretty quickly.” It was then when you opened your eyes after rubbing away the tears that you saw Rooster now standing in the shower with you. Chest to chest, you didn’t dare look down. “My other sister Lauren, daddy’s little girl—is of course, clean as driven snow.
“You’ve never been tested before?” Bradley asked as he stepped a little closer, you handn’t asked what he was doing or told him to get the fuck out so he took it as his sign to persue on. Deciding to reach out and push some of the wet strands of your hair behind your ear before he settled in to cup your cheek. 
“Fuck no—why would I wanna know if I was gonna live or die?” You smiled softly and Rooster did the same, you couldn’t help but to look down at his chest, to his torso and quickly at his manscaped pubic hair. Fuck. 
“Can the doctors do anything? If you uh, have the ‘baby bad’ kinda gene?” Bradley asked softly as he rubbed the pad of his thumb across your cheek to grab your attention. “Because if they can, then know I’m gonna be there by your side every step of the way.” 
“Rooster, I don't need your sympathy.” You shook your head as Bradley brought his free hand up to cup your other cheek as he stepped you into the corner. “What are you doing?” 
“It’s not sympathy, it’s just the truth.” Bradley was quick to establish the fact before he leaned in to kiss you softly and ever so deeply. You couldn’t help but to melt into his warmth, his touch. “And I’m doing what I should’ve done alone time ago before you had the chance to scare the fuck out of me.” 
“Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop.” You bit Bradley’s bottom lip softly as he pulled away to look at you. Look at you real hard because you were everything he wanted and he needed you to know that before you eventually found out what Brca gene you had. 
“I’ve never seen so sure of something before in my life.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**
Leah’s 4k Celebration 🎊
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fuckyeahvanhalen86-95 · 3 months
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Sammy Hagar doesn’t take the mean-spirited comments that David Lee Roth has made about the late Eddie Van Halen’s son Wolfgang Van Halen lightly.
While speaking with PEOPLE on Saturday ahead of MusiCares’ Person of the Year ceremony and concert held in honor of Jon Bon Jovi at the Los Angeles Convention Center, Hagar, 76, shared his reaction to the recent critical comments that Roth, 69, made about the bassist, 32, who played alongside his father in Van Halen from the time he was 15 in 2006 to 2020.
According to the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, Roth’s negativity towards Wolfgang that he aired out in a viral YouTube video all comes down to “jealousy.”
“Look, if you really think about what he said, it's like do I sense a little tinge of jealousy in there or something?” Hagar, who was among the performers at Saturday’s MusiCares event, says.
“Does he feel like he's left out or something?” adds the hard rock legend.
“I mean, honestly, the only thing I can say without being cruel is he needs to find a new dispensary,” he jokingly says. “That one's not working for him.”
Roth originally expressed contempt toward the bass player and only son to Eddie and actress Valerie Bertinelli in a video rant shared on social media in late January. The video finds the former Van Halen vocalist mocking Wolfgang's skill and how he benefited from nepotism.
In the YouTube clip, Roth also alleges that Wolfgang claimed the singer didn’t pay attention to him on stage when they toured together and that he once threw out a woman — whom he thought was Roth’s girlfriend but was actually an accountant in charge of their tour’s payroll — at one of their shows.
"This Fuckin’ Kid,” he captioned a post he made to Instagram of the video.
Wolfgang, who also performs as Mammoth WVH, played in the lineup of Van Halen with Roth when he rejoined the iconic group in 2007 until they disbanded following the death of the lead guitarist at age 65 in 2020 after a years-long battle with cancer.
While Hagar exited the “Jump” band before the young rocker became a member, the two have remained in contact over the years and he told PEOPLE that he was excited to connect with him and see him perform at Saturday’s MusiCares event. (Mammoth WVH was also on the lineup, along with Bruce Springsteen, Shania Twain, Melissa Etheridge, Lainey Wilson, Jelly Roll and others.)
This summer, the “I Can’t Drive 55” singer will hit the road with fellow former Van Halen member Michael Anthony, guitarist Joe Satriani and drummer Jason Bonham to tour a set list largely made up of the music of Van Halen.
Shortly after the tour was announced late last year, Wolfgang shared that he approved of the tribute concert in an interview with iHeartRadio station Q104.3. He said, “Yeah, that's super cool, man. I'm stoked for it.”
Hagar has also opened up about feeling grateful that he was able to remedy his relationship with Eddie before he died.
"Well, to be able to have talked to Eddie and had a wonderful rapport with him on text, it means everything to me," the rocker told Fox News in a May 2023 interview. "If he would have died and we would have not ever said 'I love you' to each other again, I would feel really bad. I probably wouldn't be able to talk… I wouldn't be able to talk to you about it."
Despite their relationship being rocky for a period of time when Hagar departed the band, he added that it "means a lot" that he's able to "feel good about talking about being in Van Halen now."
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insipid-drivel · 1 year
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Having DID/OSDD can be very strange as much as it can be very interesting. We use this button, which has dry-erase paint on it and a marker to go with it, to ID ourselves when someone else is in front. We needed this button yesterday.
My mom just turned 66 and needed to go in for a breast biopsy after her yearly physical showed some anomalous sparkles on a scan. There’s literally a 90% likelihood she’s fine, but it triggered me like a baseball bat to an unsuspecting mailbox. My dad fought cancer for my entire teenage years until he passed away when I was almost 17 of an HIV-related infection. It isn’t the sort of trauma that tears and claws at me on a regular basis, but I broke down hard when my mom came home after the test and announced it would be a few days before the results came back. We were sitting down to eat together, and the meltdown first manifested when I couldn’t bring myself to swallow anything. Trauma sucks like that.
When I get that triggered that suddenly, it’s scary and bewildering. 2 years ago or more, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it, and I would’ve felt very alone in my own head. I didn’t know I had DID until 2 years ago when the characters in my books stopped being characters and revealed that they’d always been with me, and that my writing was the safest way they could talk to and interact with me. The eldest of them all, Cassandra, didn’t want me to be diagnosed until well into my adult life so I would have full control over how it was treated rather than a parent or guardian and doctors running on very poor research that could’ve caused more harm than good.
Marchosias took over all of yesterday afternoon and well into the night. He doesn’t usually like to spend much time in front, but a meltdown hit me quite literally in the middle of staring at my plate of dinner. He used to be an alter I was afraid of; we didn’t get along or understand each other, mostly because we didn’t know how to communicate. Marchosias processes trauma with anger; he’s gruff and has such a distinct voice that my mother doesn’t need any announcement to tell it’s him talking. I used to think he was a demon, because if you google his name, that’s what you’ll find, but now that we’ve learned to communicate with each other, he’s one of my toughest and most resilient guardians.
DID/OSDD doesn’t have to be a nightmare sentence of stigma and awfulness. I got triggered yesterday, and reached for Marchosias to help, because I needed not to be “here” for a while. He wrote his name on the button and pinned it on our shirt, wiped tears off my face as they evaporated like magic, and ate my dinner for me while reassuring my family I’d be okay and that the fries needed salt. When asked if he was nervous, he shrugged and said, “No. I understand statistics. 90% means you’re fine. 10% means your insurance covers a breast augmentation.” He then pulled out my tablet and loaded a webpage for a tattoo shop not far from where we lived. “These guys tattoo mastectomy scars for free.”
They spent the rest of dinner talking over potential tattoo ideas while I was in a dreamworld where there were 7 moons and a man who looked like mercury come to life with a love for expensive whiskey and strawberries talked to me about how infinity ran in every direction. He reassured me my mom was fine because he’d “put in an information request with the right people.” I shrugged it off and admired the snowflakes sparkling. My alters are very good at putting me in literal headspaces that are too pretty for me to continue to be upset in.
Marchosias made sure my teeth were brushed before bed. He made sure to brush my hair, and even refilled my weekly pill organizer for me, because it was the day for that and I was too upset to do it. He kept drinking water for me, took a bath for me, and got me to bed on time with everything organized and a message on my computer screen telling me that he’d taken the memories away, but everything else was taken care of.
When I greeted my mom the next morning, she simply said she wished she could “bottle some of that”, because she was envious of the instantaneous relief that came from switching with Marchosias. Marchosias wrote a note to her to explain that he wouldn’t do it very frequently, because the more episodes of amnesia I had, the more dependent I would be on help to stay oriented in the right time and place. “We have stringent standards and checks and balances to go by,” he said with authority. “The disorientation:relief ratio has to be distinctly beneficial. We have to deal with the ramifications of our own bullshit, you know.”
Waking up always feels a little like waking up in a patient recovery room with your loved ones just outside the door talking to the doctor. In my case, his name is Alex and he was responsible for making sure my medications were organized and counted out properly. While it was me again, I still felt someone behind me, and found that Marchosias had made a convincing pile of blankets and cushions for me to imagine was him.
Remember that a lot of these disorders are survival mechanisms. Mine won’t let me forget it, and I have a dry-erase button to prove it.
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smithyyyy · 2 years
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a toast to technoblade
when i got home from school, the first thing i’d do was check my computer, my youtube notifications. it was so exciting to see the little 1 next to the notification bell, especially when it alerted me to a technoblade upload or video.
i watched all of his videos when i discovered the channel in early april, 2020, and then rewatched them again. when i’d had a bad day, i would load up a youtube tab and be hit with a familliar -
“Welcome guys, to another episode of skywars...”
His videos always made my day.
i remember him hitting 1 million subcribers and the elbow reveal, i remember the ultimate trilogy of the potato war and his rivalry with im_a_squid_kid, i remember technoblade absolutely destroying dream in a pvp match in a mr beast video, i remember how ranboo and technoblade jointly discovered ranboo’s potential to be a protaganist, i remember the speech he made when activating the withers in manburg, i remember how he became sand during the $10′000 refrigerator contest.
i remember the video titled ‘where i’ve been’
i remember the shock, the disbelief, the sadness i felt
i remember the lighthearted way he joked about cancer and the reaction from his health insurance.
i remember the second video titled ‘i almost became an amputee’
i remember how again, his humor never faltered, and he continued to make content - the stream with the revengers and saving michael, and the vr minecraft video
i remember the announcement
i remember that i was on holiday in a motorhome, driving up the inland roads of north queensland when my phone pinged. i opened up youtube, and on 360p, with two bars of connection, i watched technoblade’s dad and floof walk up to the chair. i heard techno’s last message, and his mum’s note at the end. 
i cried
i was so upset. 
this grounding, down to earth person, this brotherly internet figure, had died. 
I remember that i was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021, and was having a hard time coming to terms with it, with what this meant for the rest of my life, so i clicked on the newest technoblade upload, the $100′000 mr beast analysis.
i remember i had found out he had ADHD too, and i felt relieved. 
“hey, technoblade is cool and awesome and successful, and he has ADHD, so i should be alright”
and all of my concerns were alleviated
this guy, this funny, intellegent, strategic, strong person, had vanished from my life forever. 
never again will technoblade upload or stream or tweet 
but myself, and i’m sure that the entire community, will remember him
just like i remember
we will cherish the memory of Technoblade
the memory of the blood god
the potato king
the best minecraft monday competitor this world has ever seen
the man who raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity
the second worst thing that ever happened to those orphans
and the first worst thing that ever happened to cancer
as of this post, technoblade hit 14 million subscribers, and i am so proud
when the sleepy bois that remain, phil, wilbur and tommy, get in a call together or meet up irl, it will always be 4/4, because technoblade will always be there in our hearts
so i raise a toast to technoblade, for all the people he helped and inspired, for the content that formed a community and brought people together, who changed so many lives -
my life
the lives of techno’s friends
and the lives of his millions of subscribers and dedicated fans 
he made this world a better place and he will be missed
Technoblade Never Dies
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please donate to Sarcoma Foundation of America, the link is here - https://www.curesarcoma.org/
and please donate to charities for cancer research
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heythereimb · 2 years
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My Cancer Story and An Open Letter to Technoblade
Hi everyone.
In early 2022 I was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcoma. Since then I’ve had one round of chemo and I’m currently undertaking my second. Let me tell y’all, this shit sucks. But at the end of the day if it means I have a chance, then hey I’ll take it. I don’t know if I’ll ever share this unedited mess anywhere or with anyone. I guess if you see this, you know the answer. 
Technoblade’s content never failed to put a smile on my face. When I was diagnosed one of my first positive thoughts was “If Techno can do it, then so can I.” I often turned to him and what he’s made to build up the courage to keep going. 
Since being diagnosed I’ve lost two hospital roommates to cancer. Both of them were under 25. Grief is a mess if I’m honest. It’s hard to describe how I feel or to try and express my emotions without just crying. During his livestream with Dream, Techno’s dad put it to words in a way that really resonated with me, “Everyday has laughter and everyday has tears.” He’s right. It’s hard but passing is such a small part of someone’s life. I only knew my two roommates for a short period of time. I wasn’t lucky enough to be part of their lives before they had cancer. In the time that I did know them, I was honored to be called their friend. I’m also left with a lot of survivor's guilt. A lot of “why me?” and questioning the pressure I’m under to survive and do something with my life because they didn’t get the chance. I guess this is sort of my attempt to try and feel like I’ve done something? I don’t know. I wish I could tell Techno what his fight meant to me and how he inspired me to be stronger. This is for Techno or his family or for me or wherever this ends up. I just. I have to get it out there. Here goes nothing. 
~~~~~~~
Techno, 
I’ve been a fan of yours for a few years now. I think it started around the time of Minecraft Monday. When I heard about your diagnosis there was no doubt in my mind that you would beat it. I knew you would be okay. You’re Technoblade after all. You were so unwavering in your positivity, at least publicly. Then when I was diagnosed with a soft tissue sarcoma in early 2022 I was terrified. I didn’t know what I was going to do or what was going to happen to me. I did the only thing I knew. I learned everything that I could about it. All the statistics, the treatments, the terminology. When I got tired of reading I turned to Youtube. I started with rewatching your announcement video and then I fell down a rabbit hole of videos of young people with cancer. In that, I started to feel less alone. The fear died down some. I’ll be honest, I’m still afraid. How could I not be? You know? It comes in waves. I know that you would tell me to keep my head up. So I do.
I’ve spent a lot of time in inpatient care. My longest stay was from May to August. In that time I had two different roommates. Unfortunately both of them passed away. When I learned of your passing Techno, it hit me hard. I was shocked at first. Then I cried for a long time. I know how it feels to be the one who’s sick and to see the impact it has on the people around you. It’s easy to feel like a ticking time bomb. Especially when I’ve seen how sudden things can be. You deserved so many more tomorrows than you got. I’m sorry that you ever had to experience any of this. You deserve better. 
I’m trying to live. I really am. I’m trying to have the kind of life that I could look back on and be proud of. I know I’ll never do what you’ve done. I’m okay with that. The impact you’ve had on the Minecraft community and the difference you’ve made in the cancer world is beyond anything that I can ever dream to do. I’m so proud to be able to call myself a fan of yours. I’m going to keep watching your videos during chemo and when I can’t sleep at night. I’m going to try and be the kind of person that deserves the tomorrows that they’ve been given. I have the chance to be alive when so many good people don’t get to. I hope to one day prove to myself that there’s a reason I’m still here. I don’t know what it is. I probably never will. 
The only thing left to say is thank-you. Thank-you Techno. Thank-you for making me laugh. Thank-you for inspiring me to keep living. Thank-you for everything. 
Your fan,
B
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India Lima Yankee - Chapter 39
Pairing: Rooster x Female OC
Word Count: 3420
Warnings: Anxiety about death, mention of cancer
Summary: Juliette Kazansky discovers Maverick is back in town for a special training detachment, but she's more than a little blindsided when Rooster arrives too. Having not spoken to him for almost ten years after their less than amicable break-up, Juliette can only imagine how the next few weeks are going to play out when she remains head over heels in love with him while he wants nothing to do with Juliette other than to forget her.
Or so she thinks.
Notes: The parts in italics are flashbacks.
Chapter Songs: Hurts Like Hell Hurricane Bad Dream
Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23 Chp 24 Chp 25Chp 26 Chp 27 Chp 28 Chp 29 Chp 30 Chp 31 Chp 32Chp 33 Chp 34 Chp 35 Chp 36 Chp 37 Chp 38 Chp 39
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Juliette
"Send them." Cyclone's words sent a shiver down Juliette's spine, and the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the screens and a few blue lights, helped nothing. Her grasp tightened on her locket with each sound of the catapult as it launched Maverick, then Rooster, then Phoenix, then Payback.
At first, all seemed well. The Dagger squadron stayed close together, no enemies took to the skies, and they were ahead of schedule. Then, Juliette noticed Rooster falling behind and had no doubt he had started to overthink the mission, the precise thing she'd been worried about happening. Followed by the two bandits that appeared out of nowhere, most likely long-range patrols, the entire situation provided a foreboding omen.
And then, things started looking up. Rooster floored it, flying at a breakneck pace that rivaled Maverick's insanity. Juliette watched, joy surging through her veins, as Daggers One and Three successfully performed the first miracle. It was temporarily replaced by panic when Payback and Fanboy's laser wouldn't work, but 'pride' scarcely sufficed for what Juliette felt when Rooster not only dropped his bombs blind but that they successfully hit the target, completing the second miracle. Cheers rose throughout the room.
That's my Bradley. Juliette thought, beyond delighted with their accomplishments. It meant her faith in the people she'd suggested to Maverick had been the right ones, and a weight lifted off her shoulders. I haven't sent them to their deaths! They're going to be okay! They're coming h-
Juliette's enthrallment was short-lived when she realized the Daggers still needed to pull off the third, unspoken miracle: battling the SAMs after Coffin Corner. The panic that ensued over the radio as the anti-aircraft weaponry locked onto the pilots sent such a wave of terror and nervous anticipation over the group in the command room that one could've heard a pin drop. Juliette waited with bated breath, tensing every time she heard Rooster say, "Dagger Two defending." 
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Then, her worst nightmare came to life when Rooster announced, "Shit, I'm out of flares!"
"Rooster, evade! Evade!" Maverick barked frantically.
"I can't shake 'em! They're on me! They're on me!"
Juliette blinked, and in that split second, Maverick's image disappeared from E-2, followed by Rooster shouting, "Mav! No!"
No, no, no, no, no! Juliette's heart cried out for the man she adored so much, the man who had been a second father to her, the man she had hoped to walk her down the aisle in place of Iceman. 
"Dagger One is hit!" Phoenix yelled, horrified. "I repeat, Dagger One is hit! Maverick is down!"
"Dagger One, status. Status!" Rooster demanded, his voice betraying the love he'd tried so hard to bury all these years. "Anyone see him? Does anyone see him? Dagger One, come in!"
"I didn't see a parachute," Payback replied.
"We have to circle back."
"Comanche. Bandits inbound. Single group, hot. Recommend Dagger flow south. One minute to intercept."
Cyclone hesitated, panic in his eyes. "Get 'em back to the carrier. Now."
"All Daggers flow to ECP," the officer ordered. "You have bandits headed for you."
"What about Maverick?!" Rooster argued. Juliette recognized the undercurrent in his tone, the panic, the anger, the defiance. 
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"Tell him there's nothing he can do for Maverick in a God damn F-18!" Cyclone snapped. Unless Juliette was mistaken, she swore she heard the admiral's voice crack at Maverick's name. She wanted to cry herself. She wanted to scream to release the pain of losing yet another loved one so soon after her dad, but she couldn't. Juliette had to hold it together because Rooster needed her when he returned. 
If he returned...
Hangman suddenly came over the radio. "Dagger Spare, request permission to launch and fly air cover."
Cyclone shook his head but said nothing, and the officer relayed the message to Hangman. Although Juliette couldn't see the pilot, she knew he didn't take the news well. As independent as he was, she'd seen him grow a fondness and protectiveness of Maverick. 
"Launch search and rescue," Warlock said, bringing a small amount of hope to Juliette's heart. It was Maverick, after all. He couldn't be killed. Surely, he was still alive?
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"Negative," Cyclone responded immediately. "Not with bandits in the air."
"But sir, Maverick is still out there!" Hondo jumped from the back of the room, sounding more than frustrated at the decision.
"We are not losing anyone else today!" Turning to the officer, he instructed firmly, "Get 'em home now!"
"Dagger Two, return to carrier. Acknowledge," the officer said. When no response came from Rooster, she repeated, "Acknowledge!"
"Rooster, those bandits are closing," Phoenix warned, grief edging her tone. "We can't go back."
Bob added sadly, "Rooster, he's gone. Maverick's gone."
She could hear her fiancé breathing heavily, distressed and despairing. He'd yet to respond to the order, and a sinking feeling settled in Juliette's stomach. She knew what he wanted to do, and it terrified her, but she also understood. If Juliette was in Rooster's position, she'd be considering the same thing.
"Jules-" Rooster's hesitant voice came over the radio- "if you're listening, I'm sorry. I have to. India Lima Yankee."
Juliette bowed her head to hide the tears falling down her cheeks. I love you too, Bradley.
Without lifting her head, she listened to the chaos that ensued. Juliette already knew what Rooster had been planning on doing. The moment he said her name, she knew. The others, however, didn't. No one went after him, though. For a fleeting second, Juliette thought he might be in the clear. Rooster shot down a helicopter and, for a few seconds, remained in the air. Then a SAM got him, and any hope Jules held onto evaporated. Without a word, she exited the command room, ignoring the attempt by Cyclone, Warlock, and Hondo to get her to stay. In a daze, Juliette shuffled throughout the aircraft carrier, letting her feet go wherever they pleased. She ended up in the Main Hangar, collapsing to her knees behind an F-18 as memories pummeled her like waves crashing onto the shore.
***
"Girls, are you almost ready?" Sarah Kazansky asked, poking her head in the doorway. Juliette and her two best friends, Brianna and Charlotte, whipped their heads around from their positions scattered across the basement bedroom they'd commandeered as their dressing headquarters.
"Yeah, we're just putting on our shoes and jewelry," Jules answered from the bed, struggling to see the holes on her shoe straps to secure them onto her feet. "We'll be down in two minutes."
"I'll let the boys know." Beaming, Sarah shut the door. Juliette stood up, having finally gotten her shoes on. She tried to hide the disappointment on her face at the mention of 'the boys.' It only referred to Barry and Ron, her friends' dates. Bradley hadn't been able to escape from college for a few days to join her at prom. He had a previous engagement he couldn't postpone. Still, Brianna and Charlotte noticed, smiling sympathetically at Jules through the mirror that she twirled in front of, admiring her outfit. The former said, "We're sorry Bradley can't come."
Juliette shrugged. "Downside of dating an older guy, I guess," she replied, glancing down at her dress. It was navy blue with spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline. Made of chiffon and lace, it was everything Juliette had dreamed of, including the sparking silver stilettos with bedazzled backs. Her mom loaned her diamond earrings and even offered a diamond necklace to match them, but Jules declined the latter. She wanted to wear Bradley's locket to have a little piece of him with her tonight.
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"All right, I'm ready," Charlotte announced. "You two good?"
"Yeah, let's go!" Brianna exclaimed, jumping up from the floor. The trio shouted that they were coming, and Juliette heard some scrambling. 
Weird. She thought, but that was all that crossed her mind. Jack was home, so knowing him, he probably had attempted to play some prank on Jules as she came up the stairs, and her parents stopped him in the nick of time.
Ron and Barry's mouths fell open at the sight of their dates, making Juliette wish Bradley stood among them to see him have the same reaction. She discreetly pulled out her phone to see if he'd texted her but saw nothing from him. There was, however, a text from Maverick that said: Have fun!! :D
Juliette smiled to herself at the emoticon usage. Mav had just discovered how to make faces from the punctuation, and he used them relentlessly with Bradley and Jules. 
"Girls, let's get a photo of the three of you first," Sarah instructed, motioning for them to follow her outside to the covered patio. There, they took a few photos, some with normal expressions, some with funny faces. Then Sarah instructed the boys to sidle up to their dates. Juliette remained in the middle, plastering on a smile. It's not that she wasn't excited; she was! But she wanted Rooster here. She'd been worried about him halfway across the country, especially now with the second anniversary of Carole Bradshaw's death having passed barely a month ago. He always fell into a depression for a few weeks around it, and although Juliette never feared for his life, she still hated him being alone during this time.
I'll be there for him next year. I'll be at UVA with him. Juliette reminded herself of this to make her feel a little better about the situation, but it didn't do much. 
Iceman slipped behind the group and entered the house, saying he had to check something quickly. Juliette thought nothing of it as her mom ordered the group to smile a few moments later. Sarah snapped a few photos and checked the screen. She approached the group and queried, "What do you think? Do you think I need to retake them?"
"I'm sure they're fine," Juliette responded casually, peering at the screen to check the photos. She scanned each person, looking for any blinking eyes, discreetly placed middle fingers (which Ron was notorious for), or blurriness. But Jules saw nothing. Herself, Brianna, Charlotte, Ron, Barry, and Bradley all looked-
Bradley! 
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Juliette whirled around to find her boyfriend grinning from ear to ear, wearing a tux and holding two boutonnieres. She flung her arms around his neck, nearly too stunned to speak. All she could stammer out was, "What are you- how are- I thought you already had an appointment to go to?"
"I did. I had your prom," Bradley replied, kissing her cheek. 
"How-"
"Mav bought me a plane ticket, and Brianna and Charlotte got my prom and after-prom tickets for me. Then your dad picked me up and snuck me into the house. I got ready in Jack's room."
Juliette blinked, unable to fully comprehend his words. "You've been in my house this entire time?!"
"Yeah. You nearly caught him when you came out to greet me earlier," Iceman said from across the patio. "Poor Bradley had to cram himself on the floorboard of my car while I hurried and hopped out to stop you from approaching."
"I wasn't going to let you go to your senior prom without a date," Bradley said, slipping his arm around Juliette's waist. "You look magnificent."
"As do you," Juliette replied, looking him up and down, appreciating the navy blue suit that matched her dress. She pinned his boutonniere to his lapel before kissing him, and with her lips brushing against his, Jules whispered, "India Lima Yankee."
Bradley slipped her boutonniere onto her wrist, kissing her forehead. "India Lima Yankee."
***
Throat cancer.
The words burned themselves into Juliette's brain; they were all she could think of. Her world came crashing down at her father's diagnosis. Although the prognosis had been good since the doctors caught it early, it still terrified Juliette at the idea she could lose her father this early in her life. Her first instinct was to call Bradley because he understood better than anyone what it was like to know you were going to lose a parent, and she had. Despite their horrible breakup a year ago, Juliette caved and called him. As expected, it went to voicemail. Antonio, her boyfriend, had been there for her from the get-go of the diagnosis, but Juliette still ached for Bradley. He'd been her friend long before he'd been her boyfriend, and he undoubtedly would know precisely what to say to make her feel better if he was willing to talk to her. Evidently, Bradley wasn't.
The only other person Juliette wanted to talk to was Maverick, but the last she heard, he was somewhere in the middle of the desert in the Middle East. She thought of calling him, but what if her dad didn't want Maverick to know? The aviator would drop everything to come help her father and their family. 
She had become closer to Maverick, which she hadn't thought possible, after her and Bradley's breakup. He'd surprised her a few days after it happened, having called in a favor to end his deployment early to help her through it. That memory always stuck with her, and it's why Juliette became so fiercely loyal to Maverick. She would challenge anyone who tried to harm him in any way, shape, or form. Juliette learned how to do that from the best, too: her dad.
Her finger hovered over the 'Call' button for Maverick. If she called and he didn't pick up, he would call her back regardless of whether or not she left a voicemail because Maverick knew Juliette didn't call him on deployment out of the blue unless something was very wrong. Still, she wanted to be in his presence and knew of just the place to go.
After his falling out with Bradley, the Bradshaw home had been sold. Maverick used his portion of the sale to pay for Bradley's college tuition, unbeknownst to Bradley himself, and moved to a warehouse in the middle of the desert. It allowed him privacy and solitude, the two things Maverick cherished after being on an aircraft carrier most of the year. The only ones who knew of the warehouse's location were the Kazansky's and Bradley, the latter of whom never visited. The Kazansky's rarely went out there themselves, respecting Maverick's wish for privacy and solitude even though they all knew they were welcome. Jules had gone out there a few times, and today would be one of those. It's not like he would be there; Maverick wouldn't return home for a least a couple of weeks, from what she remembered. Still, she swiftly packed a bag, shoving in some leggings and sweatshirts, her phone, laptop, and chargers, her makeup bag in the event she had to hurry back looking presentable, and some toiletries. It took her less than fifteen minutes, and soon, Juliette was cruising down the road in the blazing Californian sun.
It took her a couple of hours to arrive at the warehouse, and by the time she did, the wide open space surrounding her lifted her depressed spirit. Parking her SUV outside, she hopped out and used her key to enter the building. Juliette, expecting no one to be there but herself, opened the door with her key, revealing a figure in the doorway. Her fist instinctively flew out, connecting with the person's face.
"Ow!" Maverick's all too familiar voice exclaimed. He held onto his nose, blinking back tears while Juliette clapped her hands over her mouth.
"Mav! What- oh God, I'm so sorry!" she apologized profusely. "Are you okay?!"
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"I can outrun missiles, guns, bandits, and admirals, but I can't outrun your fist," he joked, chuckling.
"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't supposed to be home for another few weeks?"
At this, Maverick sobered up. "Your mom called me."
"Oh..." Juliette bowed her head, knowing what that meant. "I-I was going to call you about that, but I didn't know if Dad wanted you to know yet."
"Whether he did or didn't, your mom thought it best she inform me of it, but I don't think it was purely to support your dad. I think she's aware you need someone too."
Juliette couldn't look Maverick in the eye. She didn't want him seeing her cry even though he had before. "I, uh, I called Bradley first. I caved. With you away on deployment and figuring he was probably home from his, I thought since he understands what I'm going through, he'd be a good person to call. That, and he always could say the right thing to make me feel better whenever I was upset, but he didn't pick up. I wasn't expecting him to, but it still hurts..."
"Ah, so I was second choice?"
"What? No! I was-" Juliette stopped when she noticed the teasing smile on her uncle's face- "I thought you were halfway across the world, and if I called you, voicemail or not, you would've realized something was wrong, and I didn't want you to be worrying the rest of your deployment. So I came here to escape the city's suffocating walls and noises and feel a little closer to you when you weren't here. I don't know why I'm so upset. His prognosis is excellent because we caught it in time, but I-"
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"He's your dad, Jules, and you're closer to him than anyone else in your family." Maverick grasped her shoulders. "It's okay to be upset."
The sympathetic, understanding look in his eyes made the dam break. Juliette let loose the fear and stress of the past week in a waterfall of tears she hadn't wanted to burden her parents with.
Maverick pulled Juliette into a fatherly embrace, allowing her to release the emotions she'd kept so close to her chest. She hated showing any form of weakness, even in front of her family, but this was different. Her dad's life was at stake, and if anyone understood what she was going through, it was Maverick.
"You're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like," Mav whispered, patting her back.
Juliette pulled away, wiping her tears off her cheeks. "I won't stay long. I know you like the peace and quiet and-"
"That only applies to people outside of our family. You, your parents, your brothers, and Bradley are welcome here any time for as long as you need. Half the time, you're so quiet, I have to make sure you haven't left without me knowing!"
"If I didn't have work on Monday, I'd stay here for a week."
"What do you say I make us some dinner, and we can catch up on everything? How do burgers sound?"
"That sounds amazing. Thank you, Mav."
"Anything for you, Jules, you know that." 
Juliette watched him walk off to the kitchen, wondering what she'd done in life to deserve him and what she would do without him. Maverick had defied death so many times, and one day, she feared, it'd catch up to him, but today was not that day, she told herself. Right now, Maverick was here, in person, and Juliette was going to savor the time she had with him because who knew when it would be her last?
***
Her stomach rolled in nauseous waves, and had Juliette eaten anything that morning, it surely would've been thrown up. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact both Rooster and Maverick had been shot down, that they were both in enemy territory, most likely dead. If they weren't dead right now, then they would be soon if the enemy got hold of them. If the bandits didn't disappear in the next few hours, then a search and rescue operation would most likely be picking up the corpses of her fiancé and uncle, if the operation was sent out at all. 
"Dad, Carole, Goose, if any of you are listening to me right now-" Juliette croaked quietly out- "please get them back home to me alive. Please watch over Bradley and Maverick until we can get to them. I'm begging you. I can't lose them. I can't-"
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The sound of the catapult launching Hangman managed to break through Juliette's hyperfocus on Rooster and Maverick. She looked up like she could see through the metal onto the flight deck. Why were they launching him? Were the bandits closing in on them now? Or was it something else? An impossible thought crossed Juliette's mind. There was no way... it couldn't be... could it?
***
Tags: @lgg5989 @shanimallina87 @polikszena @summ3rlotus @souslesyeuxde @gleasonmalfoy @icemansgirl1999 @supernaturaldawning @thedarkinmansfield @lyannaforpresident @lapilark @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @simpofthecentury @shadeops21 @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @double-j @picklejuicesposts @bradshawsandbridgetons @majdoline @jakexfmc @catsandgeekyandnerd
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jadbalja · 3 months
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On mass culture eating itself, the current creative desert, etc. (part 3)
K: I find it an odd coincidence that this week alone I've both heard about the term "Douglas Adams era of tech" as well as the Glasgow Willy Wonka event, which both in their way are basically death-knells for a certain vision of technology that we had in the early internet days. K: The odd coincidence being also the rebirth of Neuromancer being announced in the same week, I meant to add. K: It seems a bit like they're propping up the patient just a second after he actually died. A: Hah, I saw that Glasgow Willy Wonka tableau. It was so dire. I almost thought it was a Scottish “fuck you” to corporatized entertainment for children K: As best I can tell, it seems like the person who organized it had some strange beliefs about what AI can and can't do on it's own. A: Douglas Adams as a quixotic or whimsical take on SF is not really done any more. Doctor Who is so far up its own political arse that it’s not fun. A: I missed the AI aspect of it beyond the fact that they used some AI tool to gussy up the venue K: I haven't seen any of the new Doctor Who after the first season with Billie Piper. It just doesn't hit the same as when I was younger. K: [about Glasgow Willy Wonka …] Apparently it was almost entirely conceived by AI, from the scripts, the "plot," the characters, even the advertising. A: [about Doctor Who …] You might as well avoid it altogether. I did watch the recent Christmas specials - only the first K: [about Douglas Adams …] I never read him but I sense that Terry Prachett may have been the Fantasy version of Douglas Adams, in that he had a sense of the absurd. A: [about recent Doctor Who special …] It was okay, it had some classic elements and brought that guy from the reboot back. But the body switching and race/gender swaps are making it hard to keep the character’s aesthetic straight for me. I get why they would do it and applaud it - however that doesn’t make me want to watch it. A: [I never read him but I sense that Terry…] I think you would enjoy Hitchhiker’s Guide a lot K: [about Doctor Who special…] It seems very fast, also, compared to the pre-Reboot Dr. Who, where he switched bodies basically once a generation, not every season. A: [about Douglas Adams still …] You should try it. Some of his humor is black without being obsidian if you know what I mean K: Oh I've read Adams and loved Hitchiker's Guide! I meant I haven't read Prachett. A: [about Doctor Who…] Yeah, it’s the new paradox of genre viewing - you applaud their reasons for casting and plotting but don’t really feel like watching it all the same. It’s like nutritious food. I like that it exists but don’t really want to eat it. I want the old messy ethically cancerous White Male driven slop. K: Yes, there's a difference between what you feel is right from a societal view versus what you really feel like watching here and now.
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caffeinejournalist23 · 5 months
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Why the World Needed 'Wakanda Forever'
I have seen almost every Marvel movie in theaters on opening weekend.. and I have NEVER cried so hard and I have never felt SO CONNECTED to fellow movie-goers.
!!!! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!
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So before we get into the deep-dive, let's do a quick recap of the smash hit sequel. Also disclaimer: as I am drafting this post, I have only seen Wakanda Forever once on opening night - I will most likely see this again in theaters (and/or I'll definitely re-watch it once it drops on Disney+) so if I'm missing some parts in this first initial review/deep-dive I will revisit it in a later post!
All OG Marvel fans are aware of how meaningful the iconic Marvel Studios comic-film intro can be - and Wakanda Forever uses this at full force; the theatre is heavily quiet as montages of Chadwick roll within the letter formations, and we see what looks like newspaper articles repeating T'chala's name, announcing his death. The deafening silence contrasts the intro that was used to honor the passing of Stan Lee - which opened 'Captain Marvel.' At my theater, no one said a word during the intro, then many clapped respectfully as the sequence concluded. Shuri tries to gauge T'Chala's health status via the suit, and she says to her mother after the funeral "how could I have not detected an illness was killing him" - which alludes directly to Chadwick Boseman's death; he passed from terminal cancer and no one was even aware he had been battling it all these years. In the bird's-eye view of the city during the funeral procession, we see a mural of T'Chala on a tall city wall; it is eerily similar to the mural in [x] honoring George Floyd. The film skips ahead one year. The Queen and Shuri are on an isolated beach to burn their funeral attire - meant to symbolize the end of the grieving period and the need to move on - when Daddy Namore (sorry, Daddy? Sorry - he's so hot) approaches the women from the water and offers a deal - that Wakanda ally itself to Namore's kingdom of [x] against the other countries attempting to steal their vibranium, or they go to war.
This movie is needed by the WORLD on so many levels; for one, this film is fully embracing the privilege and opportunity it serves for representation. A lot of the filming takes place in Haiti and Peurto Rico - nations which tend to be represented poorly and stigmatized as impoverished third-world nations; to quote a TikToker who goes by the name of [x], the shots filmed in Haiti demonstrate beauty and dignity - rather than perpetuating a negative poor image. When I think if Haiti, for a long time the only thing I could think of was that terribly destructive hurricane back when I was in elementary school - I think we might've had a fundraiser/donation drive at school to help aid survivors. I had been taught and primed to think that Haiti was destroyed in that hurricane, and heard no other narrative. The same can be said for Peurto Rico - I'm a film connesiuer and I can't think of a single film that enlightened me about what PR is like; the only thing I know/affiliate PR with (prior to this movie at least) is that it's a good vacation spot - according to a friend who took a spring break there.
This movie also brings a blood-deep taboo conversation to the fore-front; race war. Unfortunately, despite the similarities amongst colonized minority cultures, war and violence are not immune - as a multi-racial person myself, I can attest that race war is not solely reserved to white Americans and Blacks.
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paulisded · 1 year
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The Ledge #572: New & Old
This week's show was all set when some tragic news changed a good portion of the broadcast. Yes, there was still the mix of old and new tunes that had been originally planned. But I could not help but make room for a couple of remembrances of fabulous artists who had passed away in recent days.
The first death was Jack Lee, who got his start in The Nerves, a band that also featured Paul Collins and Peter Case. A song he wrote for that band, "Hanging on the Telephone", was later made famous, and he also wrote hits for Paul Young ("Come Back and Stay") and Suzi Quatro ("You Are My Lover"). He passed away on May 26 of colon cancer.
The other tragic passing hits hard. Throughout the past few years, Justine Covault's music has been a regular feature of The Ledge. I first became aware of her with her Rum Bar Records releases as Justine and the Unclean and Justine's Black Threads. She then moved on and started Red On Red Records, a lable that regularly put out some fabulous Boston-based rock and roll. 
Earler today, her daughter, Haley, announced on Facebook that Covault had passed away, and my feed was immediately filled with remembrances from pretty much every Boston-based musician I know. She will be greatly mixed, and I hope that the handful of tracks of hers that was aired tonight will result in many discovering her talents.
I also found time to devote sets to a couple of great compilatons that have come out recently. This year's Record Store Day saw a 50th anniversary box set version of the influential Nuggets compilation. The original record may not have sold when it first came out in 1973, but there's not a garage band that has been formed since then that is not influenced by this set. The new five record set includes a record of tracks that were initially considered for the record but was bumped due to licensing. That's my focus tonight.
The other set featured is Gary Crowley's Punk & New Wave 2, a six record set that is just a joy to sit through. While most sets of this sort focus on the obvious tracks, this box succeeds because it's almost like every included track is a surprise. The big bands are represented by songs that may be considered secondary in popularity, but just as great as their best moments. Many other songs are rare treats that have not seen a reissue since their original release.
As for the "52 weeks of Teenage Kicks", I selected a version I found earlier this week on bandcamp. Al Bundie's Army is (or was?) a St. Louis band from a decade ago whose furious version is a worthy inclusion in the series. I've also replayed the verson by Jeremy Porter & The Tucos after getting the word that proceeds from that cover have raised almost $500 for Hater Kitty Army. Please head to jeremyporter.bandcamp.com to purchase your own copy to help this great charity!
And like always, I must again plead with y'all for more versions of "Teenage Kicks". If you are a musician, or have any contact with artists that could record their own take on the classic, please contact me!
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE SHOW!
1. Al Bundie's Army - Teenage Kicks
2. Jeremy Porter and The Tucos - Teenage Kicks
3. Tommy Stinson - Mr. Wrong
4. The Westerberg Suicides - My Two-Week Love Affair with Lucinda Williams I
5. The False Positives - Leaves A Mark
6. The BellRays - I Fall Down
7. Arthur Alexander - Woman
8. Justine and the Unclean - The Chasm
9. Justine and the Unclean - Scorpion Bowl To Go
10. Justine's Black Threads - He Never Reminds Me Of You
11. Justine and the Unclean - This System Is Set To Self Destruct
12. Brad Marino - Ramones And Stones
13. Brad Marino - Dame Darcy
14. JJ & The Real Jerks - Lost Souls Pub
15. The Gypsy Moths - Tilt-A-Whirl
16. The Master Plan - BBQ
17. The Spackles - Happy to See You
18. The Sonics - The Witch
19. The Moving Sidewalks - 99th Floor
20. The Squires - Going All The Way
21. The Rationals - Leavin' Here
22. Luke & The Apostles - Been Burnt
23. The Nerves - Hanging On The Telephone
24. Jack Lee - Sex
25. Jack Lee - Come Back And Stay
26. The Exploding Hearts - I'm A Pretender (King Louie Mix)
27. Hamburg Ramones - Ramones Forever
28. Vista Blue - 14th Floor (Television Personalities)
29. Råttanson - How Many Days Till Summer
30. The Psychedelic Furs - We Love You
31. XTC - Radios In Motion
32. The Professionals - Just Another Dream
33. The City Limits - Morse Code Messages
34. Nervebreakers - My Girlfriend Is A Rock
35. Newtown Neurotics - Hypocrite
36. The Pleasers - The Kids Are Alright
37. Rachel Sweet - New Rose
38. Muck and The Mires - Cool Imposter
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nell-pointer · 2 years
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i honestly didnt expect this to hit me this hard. I barely even watched his content. Other than the dsmp stuff the only videos of his I ever watched were the one where he announced he had cancer, and this one. Yet im still devastated.
My mother was diagnosed with cancer not long after techno was, thankfully due to the type and her excellent doctors she was able to recover quickly, and i guess i just assumed that it would be the same for techno.....
i dont really know what im trying to say with this, but i think im going to go back and watch some of his old videos, to see what i missed out on.
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xaefanfictions · 3 years
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Blunt Kiss || Keishin Ukai x Reader
"You barely could contain your emotions when Karasuno won this crucial match against Nekoma."
Genre: Fluff, with a soft coach Ukai.
Word count: 1.029 words.
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Today was the last day at the training camp before your volleyball team would come back to Karasuno, and the players from the different teams organized a final non-official tournament. Your "babies" won every game, and they were now going to play THE decisive match, hence why you were shaking with anticipation.
You had only met them two months ago when your best friend, Keishin Ukai, asked demanded you to become his volleyball team's assistant coach. Mostly because he needed someone to train his apprentices whenever he had to work at his mother's store, but also because he secretly wanted to spend more time with you. But all of these practice sessions got you closer to them, and it didn't take long for you to appreciate them like a proud parent.
"Hey, calm down," chuckled Keishin, nonchalantly lighting a cigarette as he sat on the bleachers by your side. "Geez, you look as tense as a thong !"
You snorted and lightly hit him with your elbow. "Dude, how can you not be nervous? Like, it's our beautiful and precious babies against the nasty stray fucking cats from Nekoma! It's THE match we can't lose !"
"First of, "your babies"? And second, I'm nervous too. I'm just not as dramatic as you are." He huffed at the sight of your now pouting face.
"You should blame my mother for making me overemotional, not me !" He held his hand out for you to take a puff of his tobacco as an apology. "Keep your cancer to yourself, you stupid twerp," you grumbled, crossing your arms.
He rolled his eyes, but before he could add anything else, the designated arbiters announced the beginning of the competition. You held tight onto your seat, biting on your bottom lip both because of excitement and pressure. Your blond-haired friend glanced at you and softly smiled, then gave his instructions to his dear players.
~*~♡~*~♥~*~♡~*~♥~*~♡~*~♥~*~♡~*~♥~*~♡~*~
The situation was now critical.
The end of the second set was close, with both teams having 23 points each.
You were shivering, your lip almost bleeding from how hard you had been chewing on it. You were still hopeful: maybe, just maybe, with a lot of luck and even more effort, there was still a chance to win.
Meanwhile, the coach sitting by your left looked like he was about to brutally attack any player from Nekoma that would dare score a point. He stayed there, his arms crossed, his pursed lips nearly crushing the cig he had stuck in his mouth earlier, and his left leg bouncing up and down.
Once you noticed it, you placed your hand on his thigh, your eyes still locked on the ball. During high school, when Keishin was anxious, you would place a hand on his back or his shoulder, and it always seemed to calm him down. The gentle and comforting touch of his team manager was all it used to take to soothe him. He glimpsed at your soft hand on his pants, his brain cursing at his heart for making him want to intertwine his fingers with yours like a lovestruck idiot.
"HOLY FUCK, YOU'VE SEEN THIS SHIT ?!" Before he could do anything, he got interrupted by your poetic bellow, which made his eyes dart from you to the court, then at the score: 24-23.
"ANNOYING ORANGE AND THE MILKMAN ARE DOING THEIR WEIRD ATTACK AGAIN !" You beamed, shaking him by the shoulders with vigor. You two immediately turned back to the play, yelling encouragements at your athletes and eventually calling the other team "pussies". And ultimately, after a few more minutes of unbearable suspense...
Tsukkishima blocked the "Tanaka-like dude but from Nekoma" 's spike (as you called poor Yamamoto).
You jumped from your seat, screaming like a maniac, as Keishin fist-bumped the air and joined you in complete tumult. You felt overwhelmed, so overwhelmed that you needed urgently to get these emotions out of your system somehow.
You euphorically grabbed the blond-haired man's cheeks and crashed your lips against his. You felt his breath hitch and his whole body tense before the heat of his face transferred onto your skin.
You pulled away, immediately sprinting towards Tsukkishima to tackle him into a strangling hug, leaving behind you a red and flustered coach Ukai, shocked yet very pleased by the faint taste of your lips ghosting on his as he tried to catch his breath.
After you were done asphyxiating the middle blocker, squeezing every other player from Karasuno, and giving the middle finger to the opposite team's coach, you ran back up to your friend and threw yourself in his arms.
"I'm so proud of them, Kei !" You giggled happily, not even realizing what had actually happened. "Kei ?" you lifted your head up, confused as to why he wasn't saying anything nor moving at all. His bewildered brown eyes drowned into your bright (e/c) ones, his lips slightly parted, and his breathing way faster than before.
"I want more," he murmured. It took you a couple seconds to realize what you did earlier and what his words meant."Y-You... You want-" He cut you off by suddenly removing the cigarette from his mouth and pulling you close by the hips to give you another kiss, this time a more intense one.
You shivered a bit, then your hands slowly reached his hair, twisting his blond locks between your fingers as one of his hands traveled from down your back up your spine, closing the gap between you. You melted in his warmth and deepened the embrace, allowing his tongue to meet yours in a passionate brawl.
You two broke apart, almost gasping for air. Keishin snickered, panting a bit before he ruffled your hair. "You know, you're a shit kisser."
You whipped your head up, glaring at the male. "Go fuck yourself, Keishin." You immediately regretted your words as soon as you saw the smug look on his face, a foreshadowing of what he was about to reply.
"Heh, if it's by you, then sure."
"KEISHIN-"
"By the way, remind me to thank your mom for making you overemotional next time I see her."
(A/N: Why do I feel as if this is the worst thing I have ever written? It's so freaking stupid I swear to the gods-)
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imasimpwhatcanisay · 3 years
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mcyt is the best and worst at the same time.
yesterday i was so hyped for Tubbo's song. i was simping HARD for George's new tiktok. i bawled my eyes out after Techno's video. and then simped some more for that handcam stream from Sapnap. oh, and Ranboo shared some merch pics with us. literally one day.
We can rely on Ranboo and Tubbo, that's true, I'm not complainig about them - they do stream regularly. And Life by the sea was so incredibly good! I had to add it to several of my themed playlists. Tubbo did really well and I was honestly really surprised how good the song was. (:
And the merch looks so amazing too, I really wish i could buy it. They look really high quality, and dont scream minecraft youtube merch from a mile, so I really appreciate and hyped for them. :] Ranboo did the right thing with waiting with releasing it. :D
And George's tiktok just took my breath away, he really looks more and more like Shawn Mendes. And his "dog" is just as adorable as he is. His tiktoks are always a bit weird in my opinion, but they never fail to make me smile. :) even tho this mf never streams he at lest gives us some tiktok when he disappears.
And shit hit the fan. Techno uploaded his video. I was hyped at first. I was really happy, I put away every penny for those plushies. But then he announced his cancer. And i cried for the rest of the video and some more.. ayy. I really hope he gets well soon, and Techno, his family and friends will be in my prayers. After looking into stuff, reading twitter and their linked sources and reddit today, it seems like he has a really high chance of recovery. After all, TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES.
After all those crying Sapnap's stream was a life saver. With hand cam. It was everything we ever wished for. :) And,,, he canonized kuya Sapnap! He told us his little sister calls him that and he allowed us to call him that too. :]
A lot had happened yesterday and with mcc now this weekend is a very busy one. (:
(Techno's announcement hit hard, but we are busy focusing on other stuff. And when we'll have time to really think it trough, it won't be that bad.)
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littlemissnoname13 · 3 years
Text
Wisps of Smoke (Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader) - Part four
Summary: Y/n and Draco find themselves drawn to an abandoned classroom every night
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader ft. Pansy Parkinson, Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini
Warnings: Excessive smoking, Drinking, mature language and themes, sex, masturbation, 18+ content, reader discretion is highly advised
A/n: as always, thank you for reading WOS. This story has gotten so close to my heart over the last few weeks of writing it and I am grateful for every one that read part 1,2,3. And to everyone who guessed the Astoria plot line, Damn ya’ll are too good! 
I’d like to stress that smoking is injurious to health.
Word count: almost 4000
Part One, two & three if you haven’t caught up already
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Thursday (Continued)
With his palms resting flat on the shower wall and his grey eyes fixed on the floor below, Draco allowed the lukewarm water to trail down his body and calm his nerves. 
Between the restlessness he’d felt after his father’s visit and the stinging feeling of remembering just what was expected of him, he’d barely managed to sleep a wink for three consecutive nights.
And how could he have gone to sleep when he knew you were in that classroom—waiting for him in your silky little dress. 
Oh..wait a minute. 
He smirked to himself when he remembered that he had destroyed the top half of your dress in an attempt to tug it off your shoulders. 
You looked absolutely stunning with the bottom half of your dress pushed back as you spread your legs wide open on top of a classroom desk—he had fucked you so fucking hard that day. 
Draco wrapped his hand around his length and began to pump slowly as he recalled the way you wrapped your legs around his torso as he moved in and out of you.
Your moans. 
He wondered if you were even aware of the effect your moans had on him. 
The way his name slipped out of your cherry lips and the way your tits bounced with every thrust only made him want to drive deeper into you. 
He let out a sharp grunt as he started to pump harder, fantasising about all the places he’d fuck you in.
He’d press you up against the shower wall and push himself deep into your cunt from behind, he’d lay you down on his desk and eat you out till you were a quivering mess before driving in and out of you, he would bend you over one of the common room sofas and fuck you so hard and fast if he ever got the chance to. 
He’d make you cum time and again till you were sore and dripping with his release—fuck. 
Draco let his high take all over him for a brief moment before opening his eyes when he heard his dresser drawer creak. 
He dismissed the strange sound and washed the remaining soap from his body before stepping out and towel drying his hair. 
“Draco! Y/n is here to see you.”  
Astoria? What on earth is she doing here? This can’t be good.
He frantically wrapped the towel around his torso and stepped outside the bathroom.
“Y/n what are you doing here?” He asked, observing the eye bags under your eyes. You were wearing a loose fitted white shirt with the sleeves pushed back and the top two buttons undone.
If Astoria wasn’t gaping at the exchange between the two of you, he would have had you pinned against the wall already. 
“I—I Just—” you began but before you could reach the end of your sentence, Theo jogged up to his door and stood right next to you, panting.
“Oh, you’re all here.Good.” He said with excitement saturated into his voice. “Apparently, there’s a party this Saturday night in the room of requirement and we are going—I am not taking no for an answer.” 
“That sounds like so much fun.” Astoria grinned and looked at Draco expectantly,making your stomach twist.
“It’s not like we have a choice.” Draco muttered still looking at you while Astoria beamed at him. 
“So, Y/n you were saying something?” Astoria politely turning the conversation back to you.
“I actually just came in here to talk about the party too.” You lied looking Draco directly in the eye.
Friday
Even though you were walking to class while bumping into a sea of students, your head was somewhere else. 
But of course Malfoy was sleeping around with other girls!
How could you have forgotten?! Maybe he was shagging Astoria outside that classroom the other nig—
“Going somewhere?” Draco asked as soon as he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you into a gap in the corridor. 
“Yes, Away from you!” You spat angrily. “And I don’t appreciate you lurking around, pushing me into a wall every chance you get.”
“I just needed to talk to you y/l/n.”
“About what? Your girlfriend?” You blurted, instantly regretting your decision.
“She is not my girlfriend.”
“Oh yeah? Then what is she?!” 
What you heard next made the ground crumble from beneath you and you couldn’t help but wish you had paid more attention to your mother’s letters—especially the one about the announcement at the New year’s ball. 
~~~~~~~⚜️~~~~~~
Dear Y/n,
Your father and I are looking forward to having you back home for Christmas. 
It will give us some quiet family time before the New Year’s Ball hosted by the Malfoys. I’ve heard it through the grapevine that young Malfoy is getting betrothed to one of the Greengrass sisters and they will officially be announcing the betrothal that night. 
Isn’t that absolutely fantastic?  
Let me know what sort of dress robe you’d like to wear to the Ball this year. I will make necessary arrangements. 
Send my regards to Adrian. 
Love,
Mum
~~~~~~~⚜️~~~~~~~
Saturday
Vodka always tasted unpleasant to say the least. In fact, it burned. 
But it burned a lot less than the burn you felt watching Astoria reclining against Draco across the room.
Vodka always gave the worst type of hangover and with every gulp, you knew you were on a steady path to a regretful morning after. 
But the morning after drowning yourself in unadulterated vodka shots was better than watching the soon to be Fiancé of the boy you were slowly harbouring feelings for wear his blazer on top of her silver sequinned dress. 
What kind of a deranged person gets jealous over someone that was never theirs to begin with?
You forced yourself to tear your eyes away from the ridiculously attractive blonde boy dressed in all back, knocked back a few shots and happily accepted Pansy’s hand as she pulled you to the dance floor. 
One minute you were jumping around with Pansy, Blaise and Theo and the next minute, you were seeing nothing but pitch black darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Firm arms gripped your waist as you staggered back to your room after blacking out at the party. In all honesty, the person walking you wasn’t much help either with his bloodshot eyes and unsteady footsteps. 
“You— you shouldn’t have walked me to my room.” 
“I know.” Draco said simply as he watched you walk shakily up to your door.
“Go back to the party Draco.” You said with your voice wavering as he slowly inched closer and closer to you till you were firmly pressed against the door. “You know you shouldn’t be here right now.”
“I know.” He said once again before pressing his own Firewhisky laced lips with yours. “I know.” 
Maybe it was the intoxication, maybe it was the way he held firmly onto your waist as his tongue collided with your own but you used your wand to unlock your door with your mouth still attached to his. 
Both of you entered the room bumping into furniture, leaving a trail of clothes all the way to your bed.
Sunday
“What is happening to this world again? Can someone please walk me through?— I am simply too hungover right now.” Pansy groaned, scratching her head as he opened the door to your shared dorm with Theo and Blaise right behind her. 
Having partied all night long, all three of them were too tired to make sense of the scene in front of them. 
“Yeah, I thought Malfoy was with Astoria now.” Theo scratched his chin at the sight of your head on Draco’s chest as you both slept. 
Pansy’s eyes widened when she heard Astoria’s name as she quickly ran inside the room. 
“Wake the fuck up you idiots.” She yelled using her wand to draw away the curtains making Draco groan as the morning light hit his eyes. 
“What’s all this ruckus about.” You mumbled snuggling closer to Draco as your eyes slowly opened to see a glaring pansy accompanied by Theo and Blaise. 
“I have invited Astoria up here to hang out with us, so both of you have a lot of explaining to do before she gets here.”
Monday
“So let me get this straight.” Theo began, as he took a long drag from one of Draco’s cigarettes. “Both of you have been fucking around—traumatising poor Blaise for the last two weeks, correct?”
Draco rolled his eyes, scoffing as he lit up another cigarette while you shrugged. 
The four of you were at the astronomy tower, reclining against the railings as the day faded away into a chilly winter evening. 
“And you two claim that you are not together, correct?”
At this, both you and Draco turned to look at each other—as if questioning each other about the status of your relationship. 
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” You finally said, slowly breaking eye contact with Draco. “He is getting betrothed to Astoria anyway.”
“And you’re okay with this?” Pansy asked, her face barely visible from all the smoke she was exhaling. 
“Never been better.” You lied, reaching for a cigarette for yourself. You placed the filter end in between your lips and lit it up, inhaling quickly. 
The second you did, tears automatically started to stream from your eyes as you started to cough. 
Draco shook his head and turned to you. 
“Here.” He muttered taking a step towards you, before taking a deep drag from the cancer stick in between his fingers. 
With his free hand raked inside your hair, he pulled your face closer to his until his lips were barely touching yours.
“Inhale y/n.” He murmured, as wisps of smoke left his lips and entered yours. 
You were too preoccupied by his proximity to notice the gagging sounds your friends were making beside you. 
Tuesday
On your way to the library after class, you heard the voice of Lucius Malfoy right outside the dungeons. 
He was going on and on about a ring and how irresponsible Draco was for not getting one made already. Christmas holidays were nearing and Lucius was sure Draco would tarnish the Malfoy family name by not having a ring made on time.
You simply didn’t understand why the Malfoy’s couldn't just use an old family heirloom but you decided to not question it as you walked past them—watching the tired and defeated expression on Draco’s face.
Wednesday
Draco lay on his bed, fiddling with an oval cut emerald ring with the letter “M” engraved on the back of it. The ring had been with the Malfoy women for generations and he simply could not picture the ring on Astoria’s fingers. 
And even though he had no say on his betrothal, he wanted to have a say on the ring and so he had insisted on getting something else made for Astoria. 
But the last two weeks had gone by in a matter of seconds so he did not find the time to, and could not even be bothered to go and have another ring made.
He had known about his impending engagement since the beginning of the year. He’d taken Astoria out several times but he knew there was nothing to that relationship besides sex and chaste kisses on the cheeks exchanged during family dinners.
He didn’t really mind at first, everything felt fine and he simply craved the validation of his father. 
Draco was doing just fine before you came along. 
Sure, life was a little lacklustre. The sky wasn’t as azure, his morning coffee wasn’t as aromatic, and cigarettes were simply means of deteriorating his lungs.
But now, things had shifted a little. 
He felt happier than he had felt in a really long time.
Just as he was opening up his drawer to put away the family heirloom, you knocked on his door—looking breathless. 
“I’m sorry but I overheard your conversation with your father and I think I might be able to help.”
“Huh?” Draco asked, tilting his head,watching you as you grabbed his left hand and dropped a shiny Amethyst ring in the palm of his hands. 
“I had it made for my birthday last month.” You shrugged, it’ll help you keep your father off your back till you get another made.”
If he hadn't fallen in love with you already, he surely did in that particular moment, as he pulled you into his arms, desperately crashing his lips on top of yours. 
Fuck validation. 
Fuck everything. 
Fuck everyone. 
Thursday
Your back firmly pressed against his bare chest—his heart beat calm and steady. 
Draco had his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he possessively pulled you closer to him the way he always did. 
That is how you had woken up. 
Cuddled up with him in his incredibly snug and comfortable bed within four walls enclosed with the smell of bourbon, mixed with the smell of soap, sex and his absurdly expensive cigarettes. 
Even with your eyes still shut, your lips couldn’t help but curve upwards when you felt his breathing gently tickle the back of your neck. 
That is how you had woken up that morning and you honestly wouldn’t mind waking up like that for the mornings to come. 
“Morning Y/l/n.” 
His raspy and deep morning voice sent shivers down your spine as his soft lips came in contact with the spot right below your ears. 
“Morning.” 
He continued to sensually suckle and nibble that particular spot and you suddenly found yourself wanting to be suckled and nibbled on other places. 
“Draco.” You hummed pushing yourself further into his embrace. There was something so fulfilling and satisfying about the way you fit into each other's embraces. Entangled arms, limbs and all. 
The hands that were wrapped securely around your waist now trailed upwards until they found your breasts. 
The feel of his hands taking their own sweet time—softly kneading your sensitive flesh was enough to have you writhing against him 
He made sure to take his time and give equal attention to both your breasts, using his slender fingers to pinch and tug at your hardened buds till you were pushing your hips further back towards him—craving friction, any type of friction really. 
“Easy now.” He lazily whispered into your ear as you started to grind your hips urgently against his erection aching to feel him inside of you again. 
You were empty and missed the feeling of being full but he was nowhere near done with worshiping your breasts—making you restless and impatient with each squeeze. 
“Draco.” You tilted your head backwards and sighed into his neck.“I—I need you to fuck me. Please—I just want to feel you inside me.” 
Draco let out a small chuckle at the directness of your words.
If someone had told him that the same girl that tried to hex him so many times in the past would be saying that to him, he would have told them to get themselves checked at st. Mungos. 
“Relax Darling. I’ll take take of you.” He murmured before trailing his lips down your neck and towards your shoulder placing mellow and relaxed kisses all the way. 
“Draco please.” You whined, grinding your hips harder—desperate tears threatening to leak out of your eyes when you felt his hand on your hip, slowing you down. 
“That’s it. Such a good girl.” He whispered encouragingly into your ear as you let his hands guide you—moving your hips in excruciatingly slow circles against him while he resumed kissing your neck and bare shoulders. 
“Atta girl. Yes that’s it. Keep doing that.” 
His kisses were a stark contrast to his lustful, ravenous and angry kisses from the previous night and the kisses only left you craving even more.
“Please Draco—Fuck me. Please just fuck me.” 
“Look at you, begging for it.” He said in a hoarse whisper as the tip of his cock made contact with your already soaking wet folds and all you could do was let out a muffled moan into your pillow. 
The tip of his cock only slipped halfway inside of you before he pulled out again, teasing.
“You’re dripping wet.” 
“Draco..” you whined.
“Tell me darling, who made your pussy this wet?” 
“You did. Draco Lucius Malfoy—Only you.” 
He loved hearing you beg, he loved it only second to the way you said moaned his name and so he finally entered you allowing his cock to completely stretch you out and fill you up. 
With his perfect teeth bared, Draco peppered kisses onto your shoulders, nibbling gently as he rocked his hips at a slow but steady pace—all the while mumbling sweet nothings into your skin about how well you took him, and how good he felt being inside of you.
The way his skilled hands tugged, twisted and pinched your nipples made you feel an other worldly sort of pleasure—causing you to whimper and moan his name,moving your own hips, trying to feel him deeper inside your walls.
“Shhhh—easy there.” He whispered against your neck. “Just let go.. Focus on feeling every inch of me buried deep inside your pretty little cunt. Can you do that for me?” 
You nodded and stopped moving your hips and used  one of your arms to hold onto his neck as you relaxed into him. 
“That’s it y/n, Just like that.” He coaxed, running his hand up and down your body before firmly resting on your hip as he fucked you nice and slow. 
There was something different and unexpected about his thrusts, something strange and foreign about the way he used his thumb to rub slow and sensual circles on your clit.
“You feel so good y/n. Your pussy feels so amazing.” 
Your moans muddled into one and his movements rocked the bed as he made love to you, pushing you closer and closer towards your orgasm. 
“Fuck—Im so close.” You moaned, burying your head deep into the pillow as Draco picked up his pace pushing his cock in harder and deeper with each thrust. 
“Oh fuck. yes Draco..yes.” You moaned as he dug his nails onto your hips forming crescent shaped indentations as he pushed himself deeper, hitting just the right spot over and over again, making your walls clench up. 
“Draco…” 
“Cum for me, Angel. Cum with me.” He groaned,making both of you ride out our highs till his warm seed spurted deep inside of you. 
When he pulled out of you, some of the warm liquid had already managed to seep out of you and trickle down your inner thigh.  
After taking a brief second to catch his breath, Draco shifted lower into the bed till he was in just in between your legs. 
“I could get used to waking up like this.” He smirked looking up at you. His platinum blonde hair was slightly wavy and kind of fluffy, falling on his forehead but not yet covering his stormy greys. 
“Like what?” You teased. 
“Don't play with me y/l.n.” He warned with a wicked gleam making the grey hues in his eyes brighten into a brilliant. It felt like his eyes changed colors from blue to grey according to his moods. 
“I could get used to waking up like this too.” You said softly as he tried to push back everything that had managed to trickle out. 
Right before Draco could even reply, his door creaked open. 
“Malfoy, Astoria is waiting for you in the common roo—fuck not this again.” Blaise groaned as you pulled the sheets over your body. 
Friday
On your last evening at school before Christmas break, you found yourself perched on the windosill, nestled in between Draco’s arms and limbs in the classroom that started it all.
The pad of his right thumb traced slow, almost lazy circles on your hand while he held his cigarette in his left hand. 
The lit tip of his cigarette was the same shade as the sunset in the tangerine sky and you took deep breaths to try and soak him and the smoke rings that escaped his lips up because you weren't sure if you’d get to be with him again. 
“What are you doing y/l/n?” He asked when he noticed you breathing in and out. 
“Nothing.” 
“Please.” Draco chuckled, taking a long drag from his cigarette. “You have that look on your face.”
“What look?” you asked, turning your head to look at him—the way the last rays of the setting sun caught up on his eyelashes only making you fall harder than you already had.
“This look y/n.” He kinked his eyebrows and tried to mimic your expression. “This is the look you have on your face wherever you are up to something—like  when you try and fix your failed potion in Potions class. Actually, you even make this face when you mix sugar into your tea.” 
“Im just—” You clicked your tongue in frustration. “I’m just going to miss this, I guess.” 
Your words made his expressions soften because he understood. 
How could he have not?
He had spent the whole of last night watching you sleep—the way your chest was rising and falling, the way your heart was beating against his.
He had spent the last hour trying to store the scent of your fruity shampoo deep inside his memory banks because he wasn’t sure if there would be a next time. 
“Let’s stay back at Hogwarts”  He mumbled, pulling you closer to him. “It’ll just be us, it will be good.”
“If only.” You sighed as you rested the back of your head at the crook of his neck. “But I have to go back home and explain the whole situation with Adrian and you…” 
Both of you went silent for a bit. 
“Give me your hand y/n.” He finally broke the silence as you turned around and  looked at him quizzically. “I want to give you something.”
You turned your body around so you could face him better. The strong winter breeze blew his hair towards his eyes, making you want to reach up and push those stray hairs away. Instead, you simply placed your hand on his. 
“Close your eyes.” 
You rolled my eyes at him before squeezing your eyes shut. 
“Are they closed?” 
You nodded and you felt him slip something onto your finger and you quickly  opened one eye to take a peek and It didn't even take you a second to realize he had slipped an emerald ring from onto your finger.
“Draco. I really don’t think this is a good idea.” 
“I thought I told you to keep your eyes shut.” He snapped. 
“But I can’t take this.” 
“I owed you a ring y/n.” He said holding your hand in his to look at the ring on your finger making a type of warmth spread over your entire body. “Keep it till I get the other ring made.” 
You simply stared at the ring unable to form words with your mouth until you felt him shift beside you as he got back up to his feet. 
“Don’t overthink it y/n—I’ll see you at the ball.” 
You hummed as you quietly watched him walk away from you, ignoring the stab your felt in your heart with every step he took. But before you could process your emotions fully, Draco turned on his heel and walked towards you— instantly cupping your face in his hands. 
“Draco what are-”
His lips ardently crushed yours before you could even finish your sentence
There was an abrupt kind of finality in the way he moved his lips against yours. It was like he was kissing you for the last time . 
“I’ll be thinking of you y/l/n.” 
To be continued..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 5 teaser:
Draco’s features softened as he slowly shifted and got up from the reading nook in his bedroom to fully open his window.
You shielded yourself as cold drops of rain started to hit your face. “What in the actual fuck?”
“Shut up and follow me.” He said as he climbed out of the window and onto the ledge.
“Are you mental?”
“Just do as I say.” He said helping you onto the ledge.
Both of you laughed hysterically as the rain seeped through our clothes as you sat on the ledge with you bare feet dangling in the air.
One wrong move and both of you could fall to your respective deaths. But there came an adrenaline rush with the risk of it all.
___________________________
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Love,
V
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detectivereyes · 3 years
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I Learned How to Walk by Learning to Stumble
Summary: TK thought he was getting adjusted to living in Austin, but just when things seem to be settled, the station suffers a loss and he finds himself making the transfer to paramedic on Michelle’s team. Unfortunately, danger still finds him... 
or a very bad summary for what is essentially TK makes the transition to paramedic in s1, and what i think could have happened in 1x05.
Notes: this is a very, very late birthday fic for my dear friend @moviegeek03 — brit, i am so glad to call you my friend and attend so many virtual cons together and have someone that i know will always talk whump with me, and find literally anyway to make something angsty. i know you don’t mind that this is late, but i’m still sorry and i really hope you enjoy 💗
also the only reason this actually got finished was because @aliceschuyler wrote the parts that i had been stuck on for a while now; everyone say thank you alice 😊
It had been six weeks of adjustments. 
They’d only been in Austin for two months when the unthinkable had happened. 
They’d lost one of their own. 
Tim Rosewater had offered to follow Owen into an unstable building, barely standing after a tornado had touched down, with word that two children were trapped inside. That had been the last time anyone had seen him alive, and the loss had hit the 126 hard. 
TK had stepped in to help Nancy and Michelle with their patients as Judd, Mateo, Paul and Marjan tried to work out how to get in, to extricate Tim, to save him, Owen still in shock over his own sheer luck, and TK knows he shouldn’t be mad, but he is. 
Tim had a life ahead of him, and Owen was hiding a cancer diagnosis, yet Owen was the one that lived. 
TK needed to remember how to breathe. 
As soon as Nancy and Michelle announced they were scheduling interviews for the third EMS position, TK found himself absorbed in updating his resume, before sliding it into the pile. He needed space away from Owen, to find out who he is, what he wants, so unsure of which way is up anymore, already burning bridges like a professional. 
Like he’d done with Carlos after their hookup.  
Michelle and Nancy hired TK on the spot, and four weeks after the death of Paramedic Tim Rosewater, Paramedic TK Strand took the wheel of the 126 ambulance rig as the newest member of EMS 126. 
continue reading on ao3
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Toki’s Psychological State Through the Seasons
Toki is by far for me personally the most interesting member of Dethklok; I know to some degree he’s deemed as a potentially over hyped character by fans and even the show itself, but there’s countless reasons why people cling onto that character, and they’re good reasons. Even if said reasons just come down to “I think he’s neat.” that’s valid.
For me I am so fascinated with his character development, personality, and the varied chunks of background information we get about him throughout the series. A big part of this character is that when you look at him in season one compared to season four he is very different or at least he appears to be much different. Season one does establish that Toki does have a childish personality, his bedroom looks more like a room for a kid than one for a guy in his 20s. Season one establishes those basic facts about him that do heavily carry out through the show, but also increase as the show goes on.
Toki goes from immature but not overly immature to....a complete fucking wreck by the finale of season four (before Doomstar) and the reason for it is simple; it’s trauma.
Toki starts to act differently in season one after the Dethfamily episode; he spends practically that entire episode in a catatonic state, his parents always looming nearby like figures of danger and doom. After this we do get to him being bitter about being seen as immature and seen as the kid of the band (despite the fact he was barely 16 when he joined Dethklok) and when a charity informs him that a dying girl wants to meet him he turns into a complete prick. He finally comes out of that when he sees a video the kid made of herself singing a song about death and hatred, with that scene we see a small flashback of Toki’s childhood; him about the little girl’s age standing out in the snow staring up at his parents looking confused and a moment later he’s being smacked across the face. 
We could already gather beforehand when we found out he came from a very devout religious sect outside of Lillehammer that his childhood was sketchy, plus how he locked up when around his parents, but seeing the flashback of him being hit as a little boy.....Answers the obvious question of “did they beat him?”
Season one is the least eventful of the seasons. Season two is when shit begins changing drastically.
Season two Toki receives a call to inform him that his father has cancer and is on his death bed, the family and the church wants him to return to Norway to see his father. He acts completely fine about this initially, the phone conversation and the way he announces his father’s terminal illness to the band is as if somebody just asked to borrow his car. When it gets close to time to actually go and when they are in Norway it’s different though; he becomes anxious and clearly uncomfortable, in Norway he stays in town mostly, stalling around places he went to as a kid and a teenager before he ran off to America. 
He does handle his father’s dying well once he finally convinces himself to go inside his house and see him then follow through with his father’s dying request to carry him up to his old childhood home (which goes wrong because his friend’s are dicks.) 
I am not going to go into personal detail at all and my situation was nothing like Toki’s (it’s incredibly rare to hear situations like that anymore), but Toki handling his father’s passing freakishly well kind of was a red flag for me, because I know from my own experiences that when you find out something complicated like a terminal illness or the death of your abusive parent theres’ a chance you may respond way too calmly to it, and then later down the line days or months or years later something will trigger a big reaction to it. Which is what happens.
After handling his dad’s death well we get the most iconic scene involving Toki at that point and honestly still the most iconic; he beats a man to death with his bare hands. The thing that triggers this is a hallucinated image of a rabbit, an animal he associates both with his father and his childhood, the image of it triggers him to fly into an insanely feral blind rage taking it out on a guy who had been annoying him all night. Toki has always throughout the entire series shown signs of being a tad violent, but never THAT bad. Sure he shot down a plane and had accidentally caused a death or twenty (the whole band is, it’s part of the sacrifices to the Gods deal) but we had never seen him before or after that moment beat somebody to death. That is new and it came from a place of pent up....shit. Shit he never worked through and even after that continued to not work through.
Because after this we lead into him worsening further; he begins drinking. A lot. The band consist of dudes with addiction issues, mainly alcohol, but Toki never seemed to drink quite as much as them until after he went feral on that straight edge guy. 
Toki deals with his childhood trauma in several ways:
He drinks. A lot.
He focuses on fantasy and daydreams to keep himself from focusing on his past.
He spends a lot of time with Dr. Rockso who takes advantage of his kindness often, he also spends gross amounts of money bailing his clown buddy out of jail. Constantly.
He occasionally gets violent, but never to the point of manslaughter.
Seasons three and four are when we get fully introduced to Toki acting like a kid more than a guy in his 20s and it makes sense. Toki didn’t have a childhood; we learn that his parents essentially made him into a slave at a young age having him do pointless “chores” like sweeping snow during a storm, carrying stacks of wood much too heavy for a small child, etc. and when he failed to work quickly enough or failed a task they punished him. They punished him by locking him in a shed, they punished him by chaining him up like an animal, they punished him by smacking him, by beating him with a bull whip, and worst of all (who knew it could get worse) they would force him to stay for long periods of times in a deep hole dug into the ground. A hole where he hid a clown doll made of twigs and straw, the only friend he had as a little kid.
From all that we can gather through the show he didn’t exactly have a social life of any kind until his teens, the older he became the braver I think he became, and that was responded to with worse violence from his parents. I think the statement in season one about a vision of father killing son wasn’t totally off, I think if Toki had never run away from Norway that his father would have murdered him. I think his parents knew somehow that he isn’t entirely human, they knew he was something else, and I do think his parents had plans to kill him before he could become “too powerful”. 
That aside though.....Once we the audience as well as his friends find out far more details about his horrifying childhood Toki changes. A lot. He’d already been immature and a tad bit off but he regresses further after that, more prone to depression and outbursts, clinginess, and a need to feel like he’s loved by pretty much anybody.
This is a dude who is about my age that came to the horrid realization that any person or animal he loves will die because that’s his “gift”, the gift of death. He works his ass off to repress and rationalize a brutally nightmarish childhood, and the guys he’s in a band with who he loves and sees as his family....are dicks. We know that when he joined Dethklok before they got famous that they were all close, but when they began becoming popular and became immensely wealthy the others became more focused on self indulgence and power, less focused on this still a child who desperately just wanted a family.
I think a key factor with Toki being the way he is comes down to the band’s “no caring” rule. A rule that only existed because of Magnus. Toki is the baby in a group of people who have known each other for a good while, people who came to an agreement to not give a shit about each other for a reason they never explained to him because it’s too painful for them to think about. I think he always tried to live by that rule of not caring, he tried to bury all the shit wrong with himself the best that he could but he was never good at it. It’s also clear they all care about each other and they definitely care about Toki; Nathan and Skwisgaar often being the most protective of him. 
In season four aka the season where the show becomes less of a comedy and more of a drama with stunning animation. Toki is immensely more immature and awkward, he’s clingy with the band especially where Skwisgaar is regarded. Near the end of season four he’s completely fucked up; he splits his time between Rockso (his comfort object) and Magnus (a father figure to replace Nathan) in the dinner episode which has so much going on in it. So much. Toki is at his lowest point in the series; he shows up late, drunk as fucking hell, shirtless, and covered in bruises and cuts. Rockso is with him and when Charles tries to tell him Rockso shouldn’t be there Toki goes into a full fucking anxiety attack until Charles tells him it’s fine to have the clown there. Toki’s heavily dependent on Rockso by that point; his found family is quickly falling to shit. God knows what kind of shit Magnus might have been feeding him about the band at that point. 
Toki’s entire thing from day one/the pilot of the series is that he just wants a family. When he feels like he doesn’t belong in the one that he found and was taken in by he searches for family in other places, when he can’t handle the memories of his childhood he spirals hard. I understand that the guys didn’t really know how to handle it after they heard about Toki’s childhood so I can’t fault them completely for just.....shoving him off onto Rockso after that, but I still think they should have tried to be there for him more so, more directly. I think an outlet that isn’t a drug addled clown might have helped him in some way, I think if when he’d been a teenager if one of them had found out about his upbringing and just pointed out “that isn’t okay, at all.” then things might have panned out differently. 
Mental regression isn’t uncommon when it comes down to victims of trauma caused by extreme abuse. Especially considering his trauma all occurred basically from the get go; he was a child slave, the closest I would guess he ever got to having a childhood when he was a kid was seeing other kids childhoods. Going into town and seeing kids playing, sneaking into birthday parties just to be around other kids his age, etc. and he definitely was childish as a teenager, but I think he tried to bury that side of himself when his bandmates started teasing him or pointing out how unmetal it all is.....But then a douche bag journalist brought his parents to America, a little girl died, his abusive father died horribly (as he should) in front of him, he beat a man to death (allegedly), etc. 
He spent a lot of years away from all the trauma and the death and the bull shit then suddenly it started piling on top of him again and his escapism was fantasy, clinging onto a junkie clown, partaking in childish hobbies.....because why not? 
Each member of the band suffered some messed up shit when they were kids and it shows in different ways, this is Toki’s way of dealing with it....or not. I’m not entirely sure what his psychological state would be post Doomstar; the way he bounces back from immense trauma makes me think that he would be okay given some time and that’s a safe assumption to make, especially now that his bandmates/family will be there for him the way he needs them to be.
I want to tag @theidiotwiththepaintedface who hopefully will enjoy this painfully long deep dive into a character’s psychology lol.
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