#hes just SILLY he cant take anything seriously
Note
hey!! could you write a havik x earthrealm reader celebrating Valentine’s Day at the reader’s request?
heart to heart (havik x gn! reader)
warnings: gore i guess? and both of you being weirdos but its ok ur weirdos in love. there’s also a rickroll at the end.
summary: kinda funny story of havik celebrating valentine’s day with gender neutral reader!! (cuz i can’t imagine him celebrating valentines in a normal way LMAO he’s chaotic ok.)
a/n: anon… did u read my mind.. cuz i was gonna write a valentine’s themed story with havik but i decided not to bc it wasn’t valentine’s yet.. but i have an excuse now 😈 also i went off the rails with this I’M *REALLY* SORRY ANON!!
“what is this.. valentine’s day you speak of?” havik asked. you had brought up the idea of valentine’s day with him, since the day was coming up and you wanted to see if your lover was interested in celebrating with you.
“well, it’s a holiday in earthrealm. not everyone celebrates it, but usually we use it as a day to appreciate our significant others. we gift them candies or some other goods.” you explained.
“…what else?” he asked, genuinely interested in your home’s customs.
“hmm… we put up decorations i suppose. a lot of red, white, and pink everywhere. and hearts. usually people gift their partners something heart shaped.” you added.
a comical lightbulb appeared above havik’s head as soon as he heard you say that.
-
the next day, which was valentine’s day, you awoke to a box in front of yours and havik’s bed. it literally smelled like shit. did someone send you shit in a box???
“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted, sitting up in bed and looking as if he woke up before you.
“good morning, havik. did you send me this?” you asked. he nodded, gesturing you to open it.
when you opened it, it was as if havik gave you his heart.
literally. his heart was in the box.
you looked over to him and he had a giddy expression on his face as if he did the funniest thing possible.
“what? i heard you earthrealmers gave each other your hearts!”
“NOT LITERALLY.”
(real life image of havik giving you his heart drawn by me :333)
(ok ok now i’ll take it seriously LMAOOOO)
“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted. he was standing over the bed you both shared, looking strangely excited.
“good morning.. you look excited.” you pointed out, getting up out of bed.
“you should look outside.” havik grinned mischievously.
you gave him a confused look before you stepped outside to see a few bloody clothes on the ground.
“whose clothes are these?” you asked.
“these are the clothes of every person you ever wanted dead. surprise.” havik cackled. damn, he really killed them for you, he’s a keeper.
“i see..” you knew it was wrong. but damn, you wanted them dead so bad. and he did it for you, as a valentine’s day gift. you knew he wouldn’t give you a traditional gift since he’s a chaotic guy, but you definitely didn’t expect this. in your own twisted way, you were deeply grateful for what he did.
“thank you so much, love. i appreciate it.” you told him.
“that’s not all… i also made sure you don’t have any duties for today. you may choose how you want to spend your.. valentine’s day.” havik said, proudly. he was giving you the freedom to choose how you wanted to spend your day.
you chose to spend your day with him. you didn’t really care how you spent it, you were just glad to be around him. he felt the same towards you. havik refused to follow society’s traditional rules of valentine’s day. he wanted to be a little chaotic and mix things up a bit, but he understood that you just wanted to appreciate each other that day.
you wouldn’t change it for the world. he’s a bit strange and refuses to do anything traditionally, but at least he is being himself and still loves you. he loves and appreciates you a *lot* but he just shows his affection for you in a.. unique way. you are the light in his life and he would never give you up or let you down. just let him be a little weird with how he expresses his feelings, and you’re good.
(even tho he refuses to admit it, he does sleep that night in peace with you and clings onto your sleeping form like a sloth to a tree. he’s just so relaxed because he had a good day with you! a weird day. but when do you *not* have a weird day with havik? maybe you two will do this “valentine’s” thing again next year.)
#havik x reader#havik#mk havik#mortal kombat 1 x reader#mk x reader#i guess this is a crack fic?#im sorry its not very romantic#hes just SILLY he cant take anything seriously#love him sm#hes so weird i love him
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I'm maybe only an hour into DMC5 but good god I can't get over how everyone's so cheesy and putting their cool act up to 110%. Nero won't stop throwing one liners at everything and everyone and V looks like he's 19 yet he talks like an old goth man who is super into Edgar Allan Poe and aspires to be Dream of the Endless.
I love them.
#dmc v#dmc5#i just cant take anyone or anything seriously but i do love these silly character concepts so far#excuse me i am not at all experienced in dmc games and its lore#i just#as soon as i saw v i was like#is he trying to cosplay an extra goth and emo version of dream orrrr#reciting poetry from his little book all the time and walking with a cane and looking cold and scrawny yet also super cool#the way he combs his hand through his hair in his idle animation#i just cant get over his everything jdhfjshd#dmc 5 v#devil may cry 5 v
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i always assumed he cut his hair with a pair of shitty scissors in front of his bathroom mirror at like 2am
#my art#kuron vld#vld#kurons design is really fucking funny to me for some reson#he looks so goofy???? boy why do you dress like that#he looks like a dog in a medical cone......... WHY#cant take his ass seriously#shiros s1&2 design made him look serious and reliable#but somehow his clone has the dumbest fucking outfit#i dont hate it or anything btw but it IS very funny to me. not in a bad way hes just silly#love this guy hes a fucking idiot<3 my silly guy<333#he caught one glance at himself in the mirror while idk brushing his teeth and had a breakdown#bc he didnt look enough like shiro and thats Not Good and he had to fix it so he doesnt feel Wrong anymore#having long hair was weird for him bc his brain was screaming at him that he doesnt look Right#but maybe there was a tiny part of him that didnt mind the hair. a part of him that wanted to be diffrent and try new things#but he couldnt do that bc Shiro Wouldnt Do That and he IS shiro(hes not). dumbass.#i love making clone characters trans allegories#or sometimes i just make literally them trans. its good for the soul:]#i am So Normal about this guy. i prommy.
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finally settling once and for all... with the evidence laid out plainly.. which of these brother boys is more stinkys ,,,
#also please for the love of gourd do not take this seriously i am joking I do not hold any of these behaviors against my cats I know that#all cats are a little stinky and weird I have had cats all of my life I am not genuinely condemning my cats i am being silly please lol#(some of my goofy cat posts in the past will always get like.. one or two people taking an issue with something incredibly#mundane. like me saying a cat is being rude or somehting and someone being like 'um actually cats cant process the concept of#rudeness. he has no idea he did anything wrong!' ........ yes...... i am aware.. that my cat has the brain of a cat lol#ANYWAY.... polls!!! so excited to have polls.. I will try not to be annoyig but I just love asking random things to the general#public. in friend groups I am always the one asking people to taking surveys. quizzes. making surveys and handing them out. etc.#the rare times I can partially overcome my social anhedonia/inability to socially function properly/etc. is when I'm interviewing people or#socializing specifically in the context of like Information Gathering lol#I love running questionairres and stuff . even about the most mundane pointless topics. there's just soemthing really interesting#about like....... being able to ask people stuff and then look at and analyze the results.#Even though that's an incredibly simple average thing. idk.. my brain loves information even if it's pointless silly information.#I Just Think It's Neat. I have so so sos os oso many ideas but I wanted to make the first poll about my cats#of course because I'm also obsessed with them lol. I was thinking of taking some of the pictures of them in front of a blank#canvas and doing a poll of 'what are they painting?' or 'what should they paint?' but I decided to go with babey crimes#for now. inspired by various baby crimes committed just this morning. Fresh on my mind..#I wish they had a middle option though between '1 day' and '1 week'. I think a week is too long for a poll like this but also#one day is not long enough because I dont really have THAT many active followers. if it was just a day it would probably reach like 5 poepl#people. I want to at least be able to reblog it a few times maybe. lol#I think 3-4 days would be ideal. Its a new feature though. I'm sure they'll modify things as time goes on.#Still feeling sick and bad and weird and not being that productive at all generally but... I have just enough energy stores..#using up every ounce of my power to make a goofy poll... a worthy sacrifice....
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i hate starkid (affectionately) for being able to take the highschool weird weeb trope character that is always written to be dunked on and for laughs and make that complex and endearing and hopeful and tragic
and i also hate jon (affectionately) for breathing such life into him and give him all the little tics (the way he hits his ts and ks as richie really is so good) and energies and the thought put in to be silly ("NANI???" still has me cackling) and a real weirdo but still make him human
like a character like that is usually not given the time of day to be anything more than a joke punching bag they just said "okay what if we actually took him seriously"
like he has an attack on titan backpack most narratives would have us not caring about him
man they poured so much weirdo charm and gut wrenching inevitability into richie aaaaaaa
i cant believe they made us cry over a weeb
#SORRY IVE ADOPTED HIM HES MY SON NOW#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#richie lipschitz#starkid#jon matteson#how am i supposed to be normal now#npmd spoilers#nerdy prudes spoilers
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How they react to you telling them you're pregnant
Obligatory reader is afab but like most of my posts they're gn/gendered pronouns aren't used
Slenderman;
Cue the confusion
Pregnant?
Surprised more than anything, he didnt think that he could get you pregnant considering you're both different species
And also he didnt think he was fertile; at least not in the normal sexual reproduction way
Kinda just
Accepts it
Now do I think he would be a good dad?
Maybe? He wouldn't be horrible or absent, but some human things are still foreign to him, including raising a child.. so hes probably going to need a decent amount of guidance
I feel like he'd also be a helicopter parent? He already watches you like a hawk, he'd probably start doing the same with his kid as they get older
"Hey (kid name) who's that tall white boy following you??" "Oh that's my dad"/j
Becomes more protective of you during the pregnancy and the weeks after
Takes it in stride tbh
Splendorman;
Pause
Before you start to worry he scoops you up
Also thought it wasnt possible, but is hyped when he finds out the news
He WILL pamper you... may also dip into overbearing territory, though
He just doesnt want you or the baby to get hurt
He says goodnight to the bump later on in the pregnancy tbh
Oh you know hes gonna be decorating their room and giving them loads of toys
Would be a good father but may dip into unhealthy habits
This dude struggles with toxic positivity imo, so that's definitely something that's gonna need to be addressed
Laughing Jack;
Okay obviously ALL of them are probably going to be sat down and told the news, but Jack is gonna need the most talking to given that he probably doesn't grasp the gravity of it
He KNOWS what pregnancy is, he KNOWS what a baby is; but he doesn't know the intricacies of pregnancy if that makes sense
Like he doesnt know about the soreness, or cravings, or how fragile those tiny human beings actually are. Dude already struggles with being gentle with adults
So it's going to require a long and in depth talk about everything that's going to happen if you guys decide to keep the kid
Reaction wise, he takes it seriously. Kind of uncanny compared to his usual silly demeanor
Again, due to him being a lil dumb hes almost under reacting
As a parent I think...
Okay he'd probably kinda suck
He would love the kid but he would be so so so irresponsible I'm so sorry
Gives the kid candy for meals (bro cant cook)
Get that man into some parenting classes PLEASE
Eyeless Jack;
Another "I'm surprised because I deadass thought I was infertile" one, given my whole lore/Hc for EJ
The most worried out of them all
"What if they're like me and are cursed? What if they hate me? What if they grow to hate me? What if-"
He baby proofs his cabin... before insisting that the baby stays at your place primarily (if you haven't moved in with him) because he's scared of his whole... eating people thing
Please give him loads and loads of reassurance, hes gonna need it
He'll work hard to be the best father he can be, though!
He takes the kid out for walks in the woods, teaches them different plants and bugs and tells them which are dangerous
"Oh I don't want to hold them, what if I hurt em?" *falls asleep while holding his baby after reading them a story*
Masky;
You gotta baby proof him and the house im sorry, hes feral
Another "you're gonna have to sit him down and lay down the rules" type deal
Hes already mellowed out around you but he needs to mellow out a touch more for an infant
Hard to gauge his reaction but he seems.... excited? Hard to tell when hes sitting still and wearing a mask
When the baby comes he, like slenderman, also watches them like a hawk
You will walk in on him sitting over their crib at 3am/hj
Surprisingly gentle when it comes to handling the kid, just casually walks around with them and shit
Great for looking after the kid during the night while you rest
Hoodie;
V similar to Masky but he's already naturally calm
Putting this here now before I forget but he would take his mask off to make faces at the baby to try to make them laugh
Mf doesn't take his mask off for you though ☝️🙄/hj
Surprisingly good at calming down screaming infants for some reason
Similar reaction as Masky; hard to read but way easy to guess its positive since he lightly boinks where his mouth would be under his mask to your cheek while papping your stomach
Hes a lil silly
But hes got the spirit
Good dad, me thinks
#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#slenderman x reader#splendorman x reader#laughing jack x reader#eyeless jack x reader#masky x reader#hoodie x reader
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You're his ex, but he's desperate for a babysitter. (pt. 1)
Mike Schmidt x fem reader
2.5k words
Tags: 18+, mike x reader, no use of y/n, exes, enemies, enemies to lovers, slowburn? sassy mike, sassy reader, pet names, banter, angst, so much angst, flashing mike, fluff, spending time with Abby (because everyone always forgets her??)
Part 2
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Mike holds his breath as the phone rings. He's already gone down the mental checklist of people who he could possibly call for help right now, and is currently scraping the bottom of the goddamn barrel.
*click* "Hello?"
He speaks hurriedly into the dingy landline phone, praying you won't immediately dismiss him.
"Hey, it's Mike. Please don't hang up."
You're tempted to hang up on him then and there, just to prove a point. You guys broke up nearly a year ago, and hadn't spoken in... what, six months now? But the tone in his voice... he sounded desperate.
"What, drunk and lonely again?" You scoff, unable to resist taking a jab at him. You two hadn't exactly ended things on good terms, his lack-of-sleep induced grumpiness and general unpleasant disposition making it hard for him to take criticism without it turning into an argument. It wasn't your fault he never made time for you. It wasn't your fault he was so emotionally unavailable.
"No." He grits his teeth, already regretting calling you. "I need a favor. Please." He chokes the word out, his stomach in knots from having to resort to this.
You pause for a few moments, chewing on his words. It must really be serious if he'd called you, after all the things you'd said to him last time you spoke.
"Well... lets hear it, then."
"I need you to watch Abby tonight. My usual babysitter isn't answering the damn phone, and I have to leave for work in an hour. I can't leave Abby home alone. I just can't."
In an hour? You glance at the clock, it's already 8:30. What ungodly hours is he working?
"I thought you didn't work nights? I swear to god, Schmidt, if you're making me watch her so you can go get laid-"
"No. Nothing like that. I swear." He sighs, sounding genuinely exhausted. "I'm working as a security guard these days. Night gig. Long story. It sucks ass, but I need this job. Can you watch Abby? I'll owe you one."
You bite back the urge to scoff at him. He's not even going to pay you? Figures. Oh well. Holding a favor over his head might be fun.
"Ugh. Fine. I'll see. What time will you get back? I have work in the morning."
"6:15. Maybe 6:10, if I drive like a maniac."
"Shit. I'll have to get ready for work at your place. If I go home first I'll be late."
"Yeah, sure. Anything. Just please stay with Abby. She goes to sleep at 10, you can crash on the couch. I just want someone in the house with her."
You let out an audible sigh. Are you seriously going to go crash on your shitty ex-boyfriend's shitty couch on a work night?
...Yeah, yeah you are.
"Damn it, Mike. You'd better kiss my fucking feet when I get there."
Mike almost laughs at that. Almost.
"Sure thing, Princess." He cant help but taunt you a bit, using an old pet name he used to call you way back when you were dating. It probably wasn't the best decision to irritate the last person he could rely on, but he wasn't in the right headspace to make good decisions right now. These days, he mostly runs off of coffee and self-hatred.
"I'll be there in 30. You'd better be on your knees and groveling when you open the door." You slam the phone down before he can answer. Michael fucking Schmidt. Still the same jackass you broke up with all those months ago.
・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・
When Mike opens the door to greet you almost exactly 30 minutes later, he reluctantly drops to his knees. He'd hoped you'd forgotten the silly request, but the unamused look you gave him said otherwise.
"Fucking witch." He grumbles, hanging his head as you brush past him into the house. Were you wearing... pajama pants? He stares at you as you set down your things, a purse and what looks like an overnight bag of some sort.
"Stop gaping. And stand up. You look pathetic." You shrug off your coat, revealing an old t-shirt underneath. Yeah, you were in pajamas, so what? Its late. And you couldn't be bothered to put in extra effort for Mike, of all people.
"Excuse me for doing as her majesty commands." He groans and stands up, brushing himself off. As if that'll make him look any more presentable.
Abby tentatively pokes her head out of her room, watching you and Mike argue. Shit. Did she hear all that?
"Hey Abbs." You wave to her, deciding to ignore Mike's comment. "It's gonna be just me and you tonight, sound good?"
She looks to Mike for approval, who nods and gives her a tired smile. The only kind of smile he's been able to muster lately.
"...Will you play with me?"
"Yeah, 'course I will. Let me have a chat with your brother real quick." She seems to accept that answer, closing herself back off in her room. You sigh and follow Mike into the kitchen.
"There's leftovers in the fridge, and a lasagna in the freezer. Probably have something edible in the pantry. I think there's popcorn." He explains, pointing out a few different measly options for a quick meal. "Look, she probably won't, but just try and get her to eat dinner."
You watch him lean back against the counter and rub at his temples. God damn, he looks... exhausted. His hair has grown out a bit since you last saw him, dark brown curls hanging low over his forehead. His eye bags seem to hang even lower.
"Yeah... I'll try and get her to eat."
An uncomfortable silence lingers in the air as you both run out of things to talk about, so he fills the void with an insult.
"You really had to come over in that?" Mike scoffs and gestures at your frumpy t-shirt and pajama pants.
"What? Were you hoping for something slutty?" You cross your arms and give him a smug look.
He turns his head, unsure what to say to that. Maybe part of him did hope to see you dressed in something a little more revealing. Or maybe just undressed. God damn it, was he blushing?
"Fuck you." He mutters, making his way to the entryway and slipping his shoes on.
"No thanks. Been there, done that." You respond dismissively, watching him leave with a smirk.
Mike slams the door on his way out. Not hard enough to startle Abby, hopefully, but hard enough to make a point he's not in the mood to play your little games. Still, the whole drive to work, he can't help but wonder what if...? What if you had never broken up with him? What if he had been a better boyfriend? A better provider for you and Abby? A better man?
"I fucking hate her." He grumbles, but the words are hollow.
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"Mike told me you stopped coming over because he found out you're a witch and you curse children. Is that true?" Abby finally musters up the courage to ask the question that's been on her mind ever since you walked through the door.
"Did he say that?" You chuckle, a little shocked that this is what she chose to ask after ten minutes or so of silently coloring together.
"Yeah. He said you cursed him, too. And that's why he can't color anymore. He'll explode, or something." She babbles, not looking up from her paper.
"Hmm... well, if you're really worried about your brother, I'll cut you a deal." You do your best to keep the anger from your tone as you continue to color beside her at the table. That asshole doesn't color with Abby anymore?
"...What kind of deal?"
"I'll lift the curse on your brother so he can color and draw again... but you have to eat dinner. Ten whole bites."
Abby seems to consider this for a moment, turning and eyeing you suspiciously. Mike likes to mess with her like this. Were you messing with her too? Probably. But, well, if it would make Mike spend time with her again...
"Fine. What do we have?"
You smile at her. This babysitting stuff is a breeze.
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When Mike stumbles in the door the next morning, he spots you fast asleep on the couch. He flops down in the recliner and just watches you sleep for a minute or two. You look so pretty when you're asleep. Serene. Peaceful. Not at all like when you're awake, giving him that attitude he's so familiar with. He sighs and makes his way over to the couch, knowing he should probably wake you for work.
"Uhh... wakey wakey?" He mumbles lamely, unsure what to really say. Definitely not good morning, beautiful. He scoffs to himself at the thought.
"Mmm... Mike?" You blink up at the man gently shaking your shoulder, your eyes adjusting to the morning light.
"Yeah. Who else would it be?" He shakes his head in amusement and goes back to sit in the recliner.
"I dunno. A hookup?" You sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes, then stretch out.
"A hookup? Still being passed around, then?" He responds with a scoff, trying to hide just how much that answer bothers him. Even after nearly a year of being broken up, he doesn't like to imagine you with other men. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth, even if he's not into you anymore. Actually, you don't look half-bad right now, stretching your arms over your head like that...
"Can you blame a girl? Had to make up for all the unsatisfying nights with you."
Mike reeled at that little quip. The smug look on your face, god... He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to shut you up with a kiss or a punch.
"Just fucking go home." Nice one, Mike. That'll show her.
"Hey, you agreed I could get ready here. I'm gonna go use your shower, and then I have something to talk to you about."
Something to talk to him about? He scowls as you walk off towards his bedroom. Why couldn't you just leave him alone? Why did everything have to be so complicated? He groans and goes to lie down in bed. Maybe he could get in a quick nap while you shower. Maybe.
・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・
You emerge from the dingy bathroom connected to Mike's bedroom fifteen minutes or so later, steam trailing in behind you.
"Three-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash? Seriously, Schmidt?" You scold him, crossing your arms as you stand before his bed wearing nothing but a towel. At first, he seems annoyed when you pull him out of his brooding, but when he takes in your current state of undress, he sputters.
"S-so? Its economical." He scoffs, irritated, but unable to look away as you make your way around his bed and out the door.
You return a minute later carrying your overnight bag. "Forgot my clothes." Mike just nods, still unable to tear his eyes from you.
"Stop staring."
"Stop waltzing through my room naked."
"This isn't naked." You gesture to the towel wrapped around your body, drawing his attention back to you.
"This is naked."
Mike watches in complete shock as you let the towel fall to the floor, completely baring yourself to him for a few moments before finally locking yourself in his bathroom. You hear him mutter a few curses on the other side of the door, and smile as you get changed.
"Was that really necessary?" Mike scowls at you when you emerge from his bathroom a few minutes later, now fully dressed.
"Calm down, Mikey. Not like you haven't seen it all before." The old nickname you used to call him by doesn't sound endearing anymore. It sounds taunting. Mike looks like he cant decide between kicking you out of the house or pulling you into his bed. Good to know you can still get under his skin. And maybe his bedsheets, if you wanted.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" He finally asks, sighing in defeat.
"C'mon. I'll tell you."
・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・
Mike sits in the recliner, watching you set up a bunch of unnecessary crap on his coffee table. Did you really have to do your makeup right in front of him?
"A witch, Mike? Seriously? You told her I'm a witch, and then left her alone with me for the night?"
Mike swallows. Shit. He honestly forgot about that, it was just some lame excuse he came up with right after the breakup back when he was still distraught.
"Am I wrong?" He tries to brush it off with a sassy comment, but folds when he sees your intense glare.
"I mean... uh... I'll tell her you're... not a witch..." Real smooth, Schmidt. Mumble and stare at the floor.
"It's not even about that, really. Feed her all the lies you want. What I'm upset about is that she told me you don't color with her anymore."
Mike finally meets your eyes as you apply yet another random powder he doesn't understand the purpose of to your cheeks with the swipe of a brush.
"I'm busy. And it's none of your business. I asked you to come be her babysitter, not her mom." He snarls, hands clenched into fists.
"I'm not trying to be. It just breaks my heart to hear that stuff from her, Mike. I told her I'd lift the 'curse' off of you if she ate her dinner, and she did. So consider yourself un-cursed."
Mike grits his teeth as you put air quotes around the word "curse". He knew you were right, and that bothered him more than the fact he was being a shitty brother. The worst part was, you weren't even being snarky, you just sounded genuinely concerned for Abby. God damn it.
"...Yeah. Fine. Un-cursed. Got it." He grumbles in agreement as you finish up your makeup and swipe the assortment of products into your purse.
"How do I look?"
He wanted to tell you that you looked gorgeous, that he missed having you around, attitude or not. But in this moment, he couldn't do it. He was too tired. Too angry.
"Like a whore."
"Someone's jealous he doesn't get any."
"Like I'd want you."
"Oh yeah, the raging boner you had earlier when you saw me in a towel was because you don't want me. Totally."
Oh, now you're just taunting him.
"I'll have you know that didn't happen till after you lost the towel." Mike scoffs as he follows you to the entryway, unlocking the door for you while you slip on your shoes.
"Don't lie to me, Mikey."
"I'd never dream of it, Princess."
Mike has to resist the urge to pull you into his arms as you leave for work. Maybe if you didn't look so goddamn smug, he would. Instead he just shuts the door and locks it, hating himself for how much he enjoyed this whole interaction.
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will probably write a part 2 (with smut??)
edit: here is part 2
(no smut. part 3 tho...??)
idk this was my first fanfic ever so enjoy
#josh hutcherson#mikeschmidt#mike schmidt#fnaf movie#fnafmovie#mike schmidt fluff#josh hutcherson x reader#jhutch#mike x reader#no use of y/n#fnaf fic
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cherry | 𖦊 : three
pairing: yandere! jimin x f. reader, yandere! jungkook x f. reader
genre: fluff || smut || non-idol au || yandere
summary: you’re the cherry on top of everything. the little girl in front of your parents; the gooody two-shoes of your family, friends, and everyone who knows you. so when you’re staring at the two bright, red lines on the pregnancy test. you know you’re fucked, you really do. especially when there’s not only one man, but seven.
word count: +1.4k
tags/warnings: unprotected sex (this is fiction, don't be silly), creampie, squirting, manipulation sex, mention of namjoon, mention of taehyung, public sex? (in a amusement park), soft sex, rough sex, size difference, jimin cares for reader (a lot :]), strawberries with whip cream is kinda sexualized…(sorry fresas), jungkook’s possessive> and wants to do EVERYTHING for the reader
notes: i don’t know why, but this jungkook, has me feeling some type of way. im imagining his black t-shirt that display his tattoos and pretty, long hair. i CANT get it out of my head :,). i love jimin’s part with the churros. he’s too cute. who else likes churros?
tag list: @bananamochidaisy @mageprincess7
༻❤︎︎ ★ ★ ❤︎︎༺
"i'm going out with my friends to go to a carnival," your pointer finger traced his arm filled with beautiful tattoos. ignoring his intense stare. "i heard there's gonna be fireworks!" you squeal, hoping that you've gotten out of jungkook's grasp. but he doesn't let go, "if you wanted to see fireworks so bad, pretty baby, you should've just told me. i'd buy them for you to see, wanna do that?" your hand drops onto the white shirt you borrowed from namjoon last night. you can still smell the thick cologne, some of it rubbing against you. too bad he left so early in the morning with a small wink in your direction. "but i really want to go with my friends." your eyes have the temptation to roll, but you'd be in bigger trouble if you did.
his clinginess reminds you of taehyung, who, with no doubt, has filled your phone with messages so early in the morning. "we can buy you something nice beforehand?" jungkook hopes you like that enough to stay with him. his thumb starts to rub your cheek, noticing you eyeing the velvet fruits. "and buy some strawberries with whatever toppings you want. how does that sound?" you can feel yourself boiling in the inside at the fact he doesn't give up. you beg yourself not to yell because you know he won't take you seriously, or he'll make you regret it. "tomorrow?" you ask, your legs spreading apart just a bit for him to direct his sight to your panties. shirt sliding up your thighs. "pretty please, kookie." jungkook has a light blush on his cheeks, the sweatpants he's wearing not doing anything to hide his growing hard-on. his eyes look up at you, asking permission, in which you nod. both your eyes hooded with lust. his fingers pinch one of the strawberries, messing the whip cream around your mouth before thrusting it to the back of your throat. his fingers reaching far deep into your mouth causing saliva to drip down the sides of your lips. jungkook's doe eyes shining at the wet spot as he releases himself from his slacks. moving your panties to the side, he moves his dick across the slit of your damp cunt. jungkook pushed his cock through your tight hole, groaning at how your walls rejected his entrance. your legs quivered as the feeling, head digging into his neck. tears at the edge of your eyes from the painful intrusion; he's always been too big to handle. his tattooed hands bringing your face closer to his by pulling your hair. he breathed on your lips as he muttered, "we'll go tomorrow." before pecking your lips and pulling out only to slam back in with full force.
~
"ugh." you stared at yourself in the mirror, watching the limp you had when you walked. maybe you shouldn't had convinced jungkook using that way. but at least it worked. luckily, your friends were still going to the carnival so you invited jimin, a 'friend'. you'd meet up with everyone there, including jimin. he had wanted to take you in his car, have a small dinner before going but you told him it would be more fun to see each other at the carnival. he didn't like the idea, but accepted when you told him you would give him a special surprise.
when you arrived at the carnival, jimin was standing by himself. hand in his phone, and two corn dogs in the other. you hugged him by behind, smile on your face as jimin giggled. "you look so pretty!" jimin pecked you all over your face, hands smothering in your hair. he grinned in the inside at the necklace you were wearing: a small gold dove that he gave you. "my friends will be here soon, let's finish these corn dogs jiminie." hands together, a corn dog in the other with huge smiles on your faces as you planned what rides you'll both go on.
you all went on every ride in the carnival. olivia was basically green from the roller coasters she went on. nolan had his eyes shut close every time you guys were at the top or edge. all jimin did was tighten his hold on your hand, pearls out for show. his eyes looking at you from the side, enjoying the view he got. your hair flying all over the place, happy yells escaping your mouth. jimin couldn't believe he got a chance to be with you. but he saw the way nolan eyed you too. his cheeks flushed when you spared him the tiniest bit of affection towards him. it had jimin rolling his eyes in annoyance, the urge to color his face a shade of purple and blues.
the crowd was larger than when you guys arrived, people pushing and shoving. you yelped when you accidentally tripped on someone's foot. jimin was quick to save you from the embarrassment of falling in a public place and having bloody knees. "be careful sweet cheeks." he playfully said, not letting go though. still worried you might fall and get hurt. "thank you," your hands covering your face, hoping to cool down your burning face. when you looked around, none of your friends were in sight. a pout on your lips, "we lost them, didn't we?" jimin nodded his head, an idea popping in his head. taking you by the arm, he dragged you to a churro stand on the other side of the walkway. it was practically empty, a few people here and there.
your eyes distracted by all the options of churros, you failed to notice how jimin stared you down. a heat surging through his body at the skirt you wore. it wrapped around your body too perfectly, giving the perfect amount of skin to have him want more. soon enough, both of you were munching on strawberry filled churros and chocolate covered churros. you sneaked into a higher ground with jimin trailing behind you, "i never knew you did things like this," he muttered with a smirk on his face. "it's too get a good look at the fireworks, you know they start soon?" he laughed at your sassy tone, pulling you into his lap and kissing the sugar away from your pink lips. jimin stuck his tongue down your throat, fingers softly pulling your hair to your back. soothing his hands down your back until they reached your ass, where he snuck them into. you whined in the kiss, his mouth sucking your bottom lip. jimin slipped you out of your panties, leaving open kisses down your neck and collarbone. you tugged his pants and boxers off, his tip glistening with his pre-cum. jimin grabs you hips gently, slowly sliding you onto him and waiting for a while before starting a fast pace. he dug his face onto your covered breasts, soft groans escaping his lips each time he felt your wet walls clenching around him.
your walls began to spasm around him, reaching closer to your high. you whined into his ear, head hiding in his neck as he pushed upwards into you. a breathy moan emerging from his throat at his release, cumming inside you. a grin on his face when he eyes the sticky mess falling on your inner thighs and down his cock. jimin hugs you tightly as he makes you lay down next to me, dick still inside of you. "i love y—" jimin's voice gets interrupted by the loud, colorful explosions in the night sky. you giggle, "jiminie, look at the fireworks!"
but he can't look at the fireworks, not when he sees a purple bruise on your lower collarbone, purposely hidden by your clothes. one he didn't leave.
#bts yandere#yandere bts#tw yandere#yandere#bts#bts smut#bangtan#bts taehyung#yandere x reader#yandere jimin#yandere jungkook#jjk#jeon jungkook#bts gguk#jeongguk#jimin x you#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts jeongguk#bts v
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HOW WUKONG, MACAQUE, MK AND MEI REACT TO A "SNEAKY" READER
fluffy + romantic
•---------••---------••---------••---------••---------•
scenario: reader is very quiet, so no one can hear this sneaky mf coming and going. basically just the silly guys being scared of the reader who is naturally like a ghost LOL
reader: they/them pronouns used, no physical appearance established, not a request
warnings: no warnings
author note: uh... eh... ah... oh... my first headcanon post... hope yall like it >w< (please like it pleade please please)
•---------••---------••---------••---------••---------•
SUN WUKONG
- you first meet the monkey king by MK, he brought you to his training session and you was a confident booster to the boy. the monkie king himself was kinda appreciating your company (you was making MK train harder, after all) (whatever you use "you can do it!" or "YOU FUCKING CAN DO IT!" or "YOU WILL DO IT." boost confidence)
- and he grew up a liking to your appearance...
- so when he look around and dont find you anywhere, he whisper to MK how you "are cute" while checking around
- but when he turns to look at his boy-
- YPU ARE HERE???1???
- congrats, you maked the monkie king jump and give, very messy, hundreds of steps back (like his reaction to macaque in this scene)
- bro was embarassed but he brushed it off w being suprised
- "YOU CAN TELEPORT???" "no/yes (joke)" "... HOW THE ACTUAL-"
- you and MK explain that you are just a silly ghosty lil bro who acidently scare people
- then he realised your steps and presence are just naturally quiet asf
- now he was TERRIFIED of you.
- "so now i cant say anything without you finding out???" "well-" "yea. be afraid." (you decide who is MK and who is you)
- basically: he dosent sleep at night because hes scared you are watching him sleep /j
- after some weeks of your presence, he already is pretty used to it (lie)
- mf is still scared of your presence.
- he always jumps or flinch when you appear out of nowhere, but he is able to brush it off and continue with his life like nothing happened
- also, if you leave him talking alone, he takes A WHILE to notice
- usually he notices people presence very easily BUT YOU. YOU MF. DONT MAKE ANY NOISE.
- sometimes hes just talking (garbage) and he looks at you and... where tf are you.
- he just sigh but dont get angry or anything (cause hes hurt)
- no, seriously. he is very clingy. bro was alone for so many years. at least try to not abandon him like a wet dog when hes exicated to say something
- he can get a bit pouty and extra clingy if you leave him talking alone when he wants to talk to you
- but when hes trying to scold you and he notices your disappearance, he just sigh and pout
- "and you cant rob her cat cause- ... *sigh* no one hears me... its ok i deserve it, heh :)"
- loves to see other people get scared by you
- laughs at the person like he didnt flinch too
- oh, when yall are dating and someone get scared by you, he definitely brag about how his partner is like a ghost
- "LOOK! MY PARTNER TELEPORT! ISNT IT COOL? MY PARTNER!!1!"
- hes spreading around you are a ghost/can teleport
- if you dont want this to happen, he will stop and apologise
- but if you love it, he will be glad to pretend w you that the rumours are true
MACAQUE
- he wants to mess w his new friend
- so he teleports to your room and-
- where tf are you? he knows you are in your house... WAS YOU KIDNAPPED AND-
- oh, you are here.
- OH- YPU ARE HERE????11?
- congrats, you made the monkey jump like a rabbit
- he just look at you in a defensive position and its like-
- "WHERE TF DID YOU COME F4OM????" "... the kitchen?"
- he pouts and get insecure about yall friendship at first, someone sneaky like him its very spooky and he hates to be scared (and of the unexpected)
- also- HOW TF YOU ARE SO SILENT THAT HE CANT HEAR YOU??? hes very confused
- "im the sneaky one! you cant scare me like that!" "nuh uh" "WDYM NUH UH???"
- w time, he gets very used to it
- almost liking it (he definitely like it)
- after some weeks he dosent get scared anymore, hes good at getting used to things
- now, you appear out of nowhere and he just greets you, and move on
- "where did i put- oh, hi. where did i put- *goes back to searching*"
- sometimes hes talking to someone and he just message you to "come here"
- so you do it and the person macaque is talking to, get scared of you
- he laughs SO MUCH and tease them for the rest of his life
- especially if its sun wukong.
- he himself love to scare other people, so now he found someone that naturally does it???
- omg hes falling in love.
- now he wants to scare random people with you
- monkey king is chilling and macaque appears out of nowhere at his back, startling him
- its fine, hes used to it
- when the monkey king try to turn to his back and pout-
- WHO TF ARE YOU WHAT TEH ACYAL FICK.
- he acidently trip and falls.
- macaque never laughed so hard in centuries.
- anyway, congrats, now yall are the spookyduo
MK
- he just came from giving the orders to its owners, hes mumbling a song, very distracted to his surroundings
- he turns to the pigsy balcony and-
- GSJE72P2OWK&#*÷£×¥€÷(@
- he tries to back up, but immediately trips and falls
- hes pouting in the ground, extremely embarassed by being a scared cat
- then you apologise and explain to him about your... trait
- hes extremely amused.
- "LIKE A GHOST??? WAS YOU A GHOST IN YOUR PAST LIFE- oh, wait-"
- hes dumb but not stupid.
- "waIT- WAS YOU A GHOST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BUT YOU STAYED W YOUR POWERS???1?"
- nevermind.
- anyway, he gets scared by you BUT hes not scared of you
- he always get jumpscared. always. no matter how many times yall pass w each other.
- tripping and falling stop being so common after some weeks BUT they still happens
- congrats, now he found out hes scared of 1 spiders and 2 ghost people
- hes still very amused by you tho!
- thinks you are SO COOL
- often ask you to give tang his payment (free noodles) so pigsy dosent find out
- surprisingly, he never found out
- hes starting to get suspicious tho...
- i think you should stop or MK will be banned to see u for some days (a punishment to him, not you)
- also, he always laugh of people who get scared by you like he isnt in the floor
- "AAAAH- ... HAHAHA U ARE A LOOSER *points and laughs of redson*"
- will try to scare mei w you but... shes not startled AT ALL
- shes more intimidating for him than she already is
- he loves her tho!!!1!
MEI
- shes trying to find her aggretsuko keychain (meis a sanrio girl fr fr)
- when she turn to her back, then turn to her past front again, you are there. thunder thunder thunder.
- shes not scared AT ALL.
- "oh! did you saw my keychain? of the metal red panda?"
- mind you, she just said "oh!" cause shes happy to see u
- WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF??? ICE??? ROVK???
- she never get scared. never once.
- she just see you and start to say whatever she need or want to say, like nothing happened.
- shes not weird out at all, too!
- shes actually amused (everything weird amuse her)
- "thats SO COOL! its like you can fucking teleport!!1! omg you are just like a silly ghost!!! MY FRIEND ARE A GHOST!!!!!1!"
- shes a silly scary girl, what can i say?
- she also love to tease people who get scared by you
- shes talking to MK and you just appear in the conner
- MK screams and jumps, and shes just greets you like nothing happened
- "how can you be scared of them? they are like- such a cutie!!1!" she say holding your cheeks to make it bigger
- sometimes, this cellphone addicted, just send u videos on tiktok of "top 10 most scariest ghost appearances"
- "you fr :P"
- yes she use emoticons
- shes also a kaomoji girly
- mei, the best girly boyish girl. mwa mwa for u <33
- also, everyone is scared of this powerful duo (u + mei)
- one is a ghost and the other is a werewolf
- if yall arent a male x female couple, she just will call them homophobic and move on
- "its just- yall are so... spooky. like- they are so loudly silent and you... are so loudly loud" "thats so homophobic. jail jail jail"
#sun wukong#sun wukong x reader#six eared macaque#lmk macaque#macaque x reader#lmk sun wukong#lmk mk#mk#mk x reader#lmk mei#mei dragon#mei x reader#lmk#lego monkie king#lego monkie kid#x reader#headcanon
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Silly toonjuice x reader ramble
I like the concept alot
Reader is gender neutral
"What was so important you made me leave work early? I'm already on thin ice" you grumble entering the road
Beetlejuice stood next to the front door, pressed firmly against the wall where he quickly grabbed you arm and pulled you uncomfortably close
"What?" You bark, not too keen about having to make up work because of his shit
"That" he whispers pointing out the window, you glance out, you were just out there you didn't see anything out of the ordinary, well for the netherworld anyways.
"What am I looking at?"
Beetlejuice grumbles and rolls his eyes "THAT!"
Again, you weren't getting it, only looking at the ghoul with mild annoyance
"Fine" he snarls, moving from his safe spot out of view the ghoul peaks his head in the window, now visible to the outsiders
It takes a moment, silence, then girlish squeal, you look out, the undead women you passed to get here was now fanning herself as little hearts float about her head
"What?" You mumble
"Exactly, she's been on me all day babes-"
"Why?"
"Why? I'm in the slime of my prime babes, I'm a real catch- know what I mean" for a brief moment beetlejuice shifts his appearance to be a black and white striped fish with a rather large hook in his mouth
"Seriously BJ, what's her deal?"
Changing back to himself the ghoul chuckles "I may or may not have pissed off a witch, ya know how it goes babes, and this chick, may have be cursed or something I don't know"
"So instead of cursing you, she's your punishment? Poor girl" you look back out to the cursed soul, she was very pretty
"So that's why your here babes, go defend your property" beetlejuice starts pushing you towards the door eager for you to clean up his mess
"I don't know beej"
"What?" He haults
"Maybe my property isn't worth defending"
"WHAT?!" He shouts, spinning you around to face him "you're not gonna defend us?"
You shake your head
"Fine!" Beetlejuice pushes you away "if that's what you want babes, you want me to walk out this door and start an afterlife with her Fine!" Beetlejuice flings open the door now carrying bindle "cuz I'll do it babes"
You gesture for him to keep going, the ghoul stares you down for only a moment before throwing himself to you knees, clinging to you dearly and sobbing.
"I cant take it anymore babes! Just make out with me in the doorway, she'll get the picture" he wails
"Will that break the curse?"
"I don't know"
You sigh, this was gonna be a long day
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If it's not a problem, can I request Poe, Dazai and Chuuya comforting their small chested fem s/o? Smut or fluff is fine!
Poe, Dazai, and Chuuya with a small-chested s/o
a/n: me when i handle rejection because she said “no pls why do i have to hold her hand” so u wait for her to finish her assignment so she’ll text u again and then u accidentally fall in love w dazai again
#edgar allan poe
just doesn’t have an idea at all at how to approach this
would probably think about it while he’s sleeping and when he wakes up makes the decision to buy a dress that compliments curves and w his paycheck it’s probably made of woven gold 🤷♀️🤷♀️
he’d leave it on your bed with a note “date at 4? ill come to get you”
honestly its just a very casual date???? he’s wearing his normal attire and you’re wearing this most-likely ¥10,000 dress with a loosely knitted jacket, be careful bestie u might get robbed ���💀💀
my first idea for poe was what if he made a book and then u read it and ur boobs got bigger and the mystery of the book was u have to figure out how they got bigger i cant take myself seriously
#osamu dazai
all boobs are so hot to him, he is for the most part bitchless 🤷♀️🤷♀️
at first he’d probably think it’s a little silly yk but since it’s one of your insecurities, he’d still think about how it matters to your feelings
he understands your feelings of insecurity but he’d also not know how to approach it so he’d instead suffocate himself in them and praise them like a gift from god
he sleeps on them. wherever you are, if dazai is tired, he’s throwing all his weight onto you, probably has to slouch just for that experience too LMAOO
bet he’s semi-consensually???? groping you 👎👎👎👎👎 the agency most likely has to host a sexual harassment in the work place and then dazai makes the argument “but she’s my girlfriend WTF”, it’s just a disaster oftentimes
#chuya nakahara
takes this VERY seriously, he made the relation that it’s like his insecurity about his height and now he’s gonna do anything to make it better
tight clothes? make sure it’s silk; expensive lingerie? anything to make you feel confident; implants??? hey baby, did you know mori is a surgeon…
something that i can imagine so vividly is just chuuya hugging you from the back and lifting his arms till theyre under your boobs i dont know why
whenever you’re feeling insecure, you can 100% count on chuuya to start listing the thousands of things that make him grovel at your feet hes so down bad guys
best bf out of all of them, OUT OF THE BSD VERSE
#mod maki#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd#bsd x reader#osamu dazai#osamu dazai x reader#dazai osamu x reader#chuuya nakahara#chuuya nakahara x reader#edgar allan poe#edgar allan poe x reader
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soap nsfw alphabet
prepare for some more headcanons while i take some time to write actual fics :)
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
he strikes me as a guy that will just fucking conk out immediately after. if you want to clean up you gotta move fast before hes dead asleep and holding you in a death grip.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
he’s pretty neutral about himself, not really insecure but not the most vain. i bet he likes his arms and hands, he’s a strong guy and likes his mooscles plus he enjoys being able to manhandle you. also proud of his leg gains
on you he likes your hair. he thinks it frames your face real prettily and loves how it smells. will start using your shampoo and conditioner to your dismay
other than that hes an ass man, so that’s probably high on his list too
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
doesn’t have a particular preference for where he should but one time he pulled out and came all over your thighs and ass and he’s not gonna let that image go any time soon.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
chronic panty stealer. i cant really imagine him being ashamed of any kinks or anything but this is something you might not need to know about for a while. he kept a pair hidden in his barracks and freaked the fuck out when ghost almost found it. he returned them later that day
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
one of the more experienced of mw characters, he’s had a few girlfriends and random hookups once in a while but pretty standard
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
prefers intimate positions with lots of skin to skin contact and eye contact. you cant go wrong with classic missionary, but he’ll bend down with his face close to yours and hold you against him. also likes when you wrap your legs around his waist.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
he def has the capability to be silly and goofy and perhaps a tad whimsical. to him, sex with his partner is about making you both feel good and he can be laid back and crack some jokes if the mood is light. not that he can’t be serious, but he likes laughing and not taking things super seriously
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
pretty hairy guy, he’s very clean and i imagine he’d keep things trimmed but i cant see him shaving lol. i bet he has a super sexy happy trail too. pubes are brown and curly like his hair
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
surprisingly romantic- in his own weird way. he can be traditionally romantic, too, if the situation calls for it like on an anniversary or smth.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
tends to quite often when you’re not there, he gets wound up very easily and uses it as a way to let off some steam, and relax before bed
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
usually p vanilla but there are times where he like to step it up. he’s def a switch so when you take the reigns it gets him all excited.
also likes blindfolds, on him and you. just thinks it’s sooo hot how it heightens your other senses and makes you extra sensitive.
the same can be said with temperature play- ice and wax. the different sensations get him so riled up and he loves the little gasps and whimpers it elicits.
Again both of these can be done on him or you this guy is the biggest switch ever.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
prefers classic bedroom, it’s private, comfortable, and you can really go all out without worry. unfortunately, neither of you are home very often, so the showers or barracks are the most common places.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
honestly everything you do. it doesn’t take much to get him going, he has a pretty high sex drive. watching you concentrate on something just gives him the insane urge to annoy you and ruin your concentration, and even more so if you’re actually doing work. especially working with your hands in some way
watching you get ready is another one, smth abt the contrast between how you look in your gear vs all dolled up really does it for him.
basically anything you do
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
hes a very clean guy, hence the nickname. not into piss or blood or a ton of dirt and grime. granted he might find it hot if you’re all sweaty and nasty from a workout or mission but that’s a very specific circumstance. this makes shower sex fair game.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
likes giving and receiving, again sex and making eachother feel good is very important to him in relationships. he can give very enthusiastic head but he’s def not gonna turn down a bj
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
tends to go pretty hard. hes a strong, big guy who can manhandle you and hold you down if needed, and usually goes at a pretty deep and rough pace. can always slow down if you need it tho hes so sweet at the same time
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
though he likes the convenience, especially as you’re both busy people, he much prefers when he can take his time with you and properly go multiple rounds
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
he can be real cheeky and smug, loves teasing you in semi-public situations. he’s down to experiment, mostly to have fun. doesn’t mind doing it if there’s a slight risk but wouldn’t wanna do it like in public
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
absolutely insane. from how much he works out to his relatively clean diet to his high test levels he can go for a while. tends to bust a little prematurely but he makes up for it in how many rounds he can go
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
doesn’t use them a ton but he def sees them as an ally, not a threat. prefers using them on you but he’s not opposed to them being used on himself aswell
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
very much so, but he also enjoys being teased. if you’re in a meeting he’ll love to have a hand on your thigh trailing dangerously high while you’re talking, trying his hardest to break your focus and embarrass you
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
he’s def on the louder side, not afraid to be whimpering, groaning and grunting all in your ear and it’s so fuckinf sexy he reminds me of those memes like “other dudes be afraid to moan in bed but i’m in my girls ear like”
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
has threesome/gangbang fantasies with you and the guys from 141, but he would literally never say anything to any of the guys nor you cause he’s worried about making things awkward with them. he could maybe maybe consider asking ghost
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
oooh do i have thoughts abt this 😭😭
so very thick and long. not the biggest (my man könig) but it’s very substantial. 6-7 inches hard and if the length doesn’t get you then the width WILL it feels like you’re getting SPLIT. base color #a95840 with a slightly lighter and redder tip
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
very. it doesn’t take a lot to get him going and on a good day he can go 3 rounds. whenever you’re in the mood, he’s in the mood and ready to go.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
as previously stated after he busts you got like 2 minutes before he’s knocked the fuck out and probably pinning you down with him. he can’t help it he’s so content and warm and he’s just gonna wanna take a nap
+ i plan on doing the rest of 141 and könig versions too :)
#soap x reader#fuck we as a fandom need to decide which tags to use#john soap mactavish#soap mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod x reader
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ASL Bros when S/O puts a flower in their hair
HCs under the cut!
Portgas D. Ace:
-Okay first off
-You need to literally drag him away for even a short time of just “chill tf out babe”
-You get 10 minutes if you’re lucky before he gets restless
-But you can also probably convince him to stay a biiiit longer
-Just make sad eyes at him he can’t resist that for long
-Probably gets like really confused at first, then gets the biggest dumbest grin imaginable
-Strikes a pose and asks if you think it looks good on him
-Then laughs because honestly he probably couldn't take himself seriously
-Grabs a flower and puts it in your hair too
-That way you match <3
-1000/10 Ace marry me pls
The environment was serene, as you and Ace had finally had some time to yourselves. No pirates, no fights, just the two of you. Life was fun, full of adventure, and there was always something going on, but sometimes it was nice to just slow down. In this moment, it was just Ace and the love of his life.
You and Ace were enjoying the lush greenery of the island they had docked at for a few days. It had so many fields of flowers, and you decided to take Ace to one. The day was warm but not overbearing, and all of the flowers around you created a serene little world, just the two of you.
Ace jumped in surprise when you gently pushed his hat off of his head and replaced it with an orange flower. He laughed, gently shaking his head.
“What was that for?” He asked, chuckling at the cuteness of the scenario.
“Because I felt like it.” You smiled, tilting your head in faux innocence.
“Fine.” Ace gained that competitive look you often saw in a fight, but all he did was grab a nearby flower and place it behind your ear.
“There, now we match.” He smirked, placing a kiss on your cheek and pulling you down to lay on the grass with him. He couldn’t be more in love than he was at that moment. Life with pirates was always fun and exciting, but maybe, just maybe, slowing down and enjoying the flowers was fun too.
Not that he’d ever admit that. That was just for him to know.
Monkey D. Luffy:
-Legitimately tries to eat it.
-You have to explain what you tried to do
-”Luffy you cANT EAT FLOWERS-”
-After you explain, he gets a huge grin
-Probably thinks it's really cute but doesnt entirely understand why
-Very chill go with the flow bf
Luffy always drags you off of the ship when you dock at a new island, literally the second you dock. Normally he would just rocket himself off, but you had to explain to him that it hurt, so now he waits while rambling to you about all of the things he might see, growing more outlandish the longer he talks.
How silly he was, this captain of yours.
When you saw a field of flowers in the distance, you tugged on his arm.
“Hey, Luffy! I wanna go check out that field!” You said, pointing in the field’s direction.
Luffy looked confused. “Eh? Why? Is there anything special there?” He sounded genuinely curious, just that he didn’t understand.
You giggled. “There’s flowers there! They’ll probably be pretty.”
Luffy shrugged. “Ok, sure.” He still didn’t entirely understand, but he was willing to check it out to make you happy. Maybe he’d even find something interesting there too!
The field was as pretty as you’d thought. You grabbed a red flower and placed it on Luffy’s straw hat.
Luffy grabbed it, observing it, then attempting to put it in his mouth. Luckily, you caught his wrist. “No!” You said, giggling, “You don’t eat it. I thought it looked nice.”. Of course he’d try to eat it.
Luffy nodded. “Oh, okay!” He said, placing it back on his hat. He leaned down and grabbed a different one, placing it on your head. “Now you have one too!”
You really loved him, dorkiness and all.
Sabo:
-Sabo.exe has stopped working.
-Why did you do that? ._.
-Not mad, but very confused at first
-Give him a sec to process
-Thinks you are probably the cutest being to ever exist
-Feels so lucky to have you <3
-His life can get really busy so you gotta be patient with this one
-But he always makes it up to you
Sabo marry me pls
Sabo hadn’t quite told you where he would be taking you, just that it was a surprise, and he was sure you’d love it. As he led you by the hand, you were getting to an area with less and less city. Where was he taking you?
“Come on Sabo, you can’t even give me a hint?” You asked, playfully groaning. “I’m dying of anticipation!”
Sabo laughed. “Nope, no hints. I won’t be swayed.” He shook his head with a satisfied smile. He must be proud of whatever he was gonna show you.
You didn’t have to wait much longer. A bit outside of the town, he stopped at a beautiful field of flowers of all colors and sizes.
You were amazed. “Wow! This is amazing… thank you.” Sabo grinned. “I told you that you would like it. I’m really glad you do.”
You bent down, picking up a blue flower and putting it on his hat, by his goggles. You smiled, pecking his cheek. “It suits you.” Sabo’s face turned bright red. He felt overwhelmed with happiness. Sometimes, with his hectic schedule, he was worried about not being the best partner to you. He always tried to make it up to you whenever he could, and he felt blessed to have someone as patient as you by his side.
The ring in his pocket felt a little less heavy than before.
Reposted from @thatwritercricket
AAAAA my first request! Hopefully you all enjoyed, I tried to keep it gender neutral <3
Requests are open, here are the rules for requests! My DMs are also ope
I love you all and hope you have a good day!
~ Cricket
#one piece imagines#one piece x reader#one piece headcanons#sabo x reader#sabo imagines#sabo x you#ace x reader#portgas d ace x reader#ace imagines#luffy x reader#monkey d luffy x reader#luffy imagine
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jay finds out about your little hobby hc (pt 2)!
•´¯•. 🍲 ❤ 🍲 .•¯´•.🍲 ❤ 🍲 .•¯´•. 🍲 ❤ 🍲 .•´¯•. 🍲 ❤ 🍲 .•¯´•. 🍲 ❤ 🍲 .•¯´•
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pairing: jay x fem!reader
wc: 850
genre: fluff, hc (if you wanna consider it a genre)
warnings: mentions of small cuts, blood
a/n: second installment to this mini series! ill make the master list for it now. im aware this isn't like serious writing, and believe me, i can write seriously, but i thought starting off my account with some laid back, fun hcs would be a good way for me to actually start writing! im gonna start working on a few oneshots (with grammar and everything yes, trust, i cant stand reading oneshots or fics that don't have correct grammar and punctuation, all the things), but if you have any requests please do send! i need motivation to not procrastinate on writing these anyways lol.
↳ m.list for series
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it's a normal day 'n all, but it's special! jay got a day off from practice, and since the rest of the boys are all out meeting family and spending some time alone, he decided to come spend time with you!
nowadays, it's a bit rare to get full days with each other, the two of you only usually getting every other night to spend with each other, which always end in a tangle of limbs, giggles, and finally, sleep.
so this? great news! the two of you have been spending the day outside, arranging flower bouquets together, getting takoyaki, and even spending time at your local playground, peacefully swinging with your taiyaki in hand, the silence not much of a bother. your relationship's reached the point where you can just sit in silence for long periods of time and bask in the other's company, and that's truly heartwarming.
once the sun starts to set though, jay's offering you his hand, and you're both walking away from the barren landscape of the playground, hands swinging and soft words being exchanged.
and once you get home? surprise! on a special day like this, of course jay has to cook for you. the chef would never let such an opportunity like this go to waste. after much insisting from his side, you're sitting at the dining table, discreetly sneaking glances as he cooks. he's such a work of art. and his food, of course.
you think you're being super slick about your little glances, but jay catches them all, of course. he doesn't say anything, just decides to continue cooking, little chuckles leaving his lips every now and then when he catches you staring.
in a few minutes, he's bringing out two plates and handing one to you, before sitting directly next to you with a small smile, deciding it was time to repay you. so while you were leniently carving something from wood, his chin would come to rest on his hand as he watched you, taking note of the way you poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue, focused.
slowly though, his eyes drift to your hands, where he realizes what you're carving. it's a spoon! a pretty one for that matter. you're quietly whittling intricate details into the handle, and he's in awe just from watching you.
"this a hobby of yours?" he asks quietly, not wanting to disturb you while you work. he knows for a matter of fact that when you're seriously working, you prefer to not be disturbed.
you hum in a way that indicates 'yes', and he grins, looking back up at your face again. he can't help but admire how gorgeous you look when you're hard a work after all.
"what're you making baby?" he'd ask again, after a few seconds of silence. you take a moment to respond, putting your knife down and looking at jay with a silly little smile on your face. how he loved that smile of yours.
"a spoon! for you! i've just been really into wood carving 'n stuff lately... and i wanted to carve you things for the kitchen! it was supposed to be a surprise but... i guess i don't mind you knowing about it now." you'd ramble, not noticing how he was staring at you.
god, the way jay stares at you. it's like... it could melt you. he stares at you so intensely, like the brightness of the sun, that you can't ignore it, and you burst out into giggles when you can't take his staring anymore. he never knows why you're laughing though, and just laughs with you. clueless bby.
"i'm honored to be the recipient of your gifts." he says with a small chuckle, looking away for a second. acting as if you hadn't caught the tinge of pink dusting his face. he's so unaware, it's hilarious. "yeah, i can tell." you whisper with a sweet giggle, pressing a small kiss to the side of his face, causing his face to become inevitably redder.
and so you both finish dinner together, catching up on how life's been while the both of you were busy and away from each other. the night ends with the two of you becoming a tangle of limbs, as always.
at least that'll never change with the two of you. somehow, someway, every night will end with you both being in one another's arms.
neither of you would have it any other way.
special side notes:
whenever you'd be carving and accidentally cut yourself, he'd be there in a flash! arms around your waist, and your on the kitchen counter within seconds. he's already got the little band-aid pack and he's wiping the blood away, hushing your confused queries and wrapping the cut up nicely <3 would never let his baby get hurt while pursuing her hobbies.
that's also why he makes sure that you're always carving at home. so if you decide for a change of scenery and wanna carve outside, it's a requirement that you take him with you so he can be there to patch up your cuts.
aka, he's whipped.
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tysm for reading! expect jake next <3 love you guys! gladly taking requests 😋
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#enhypen#x reader#enha#headcanon#enhypen jay#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#freaksstar's hcs!#enha scenarios#enha x reader#enha imagines#enha fluff#engene#enhypen imagines#park jongseong#enhypen headcanons#kpop#kpop headcanons#enha jay#enhypen park jongseong#enhypen park jay#enha jongseong#mini series
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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe193U4k/
sending this to jude sort of as a joke, cause you always show him the tiktoks that are about him, that wind up on your fyp, and he just loves how obsessed you are.
but then the days leading up to your birthday he’s sort of quiet, going shopping etc.
cut to waking up on your birthday, sort of disappointed that he’s not done something grand, and he’s just left for training, not even a note or breakfast anything.
getting home from work, confused cause it’s so quiet. and he’s just sprawled on the bed, all ur gifts by the end of the bed. bursting out laughing, him being confused cause its supposed to be romantic “it’s not funny”
ur genuinely worried he’s forgotten abt it bc usually he goes all out for ur bday and even in the days leading up to it he’s taking u out for dinner and everything and keeps dropping hints abt certain gifts or plans but he’s been silent this time. and ur pretty hurt abt it bc he falls asleep before midnight which means he doesn’t give u ur midnight kiss like he usually does and the morning of he’s up and awake before u and has left for training without leaving anything behind and now ur 100% convinced he’s forgotten and ur half furious half seriously upset. he literally just texts u saying good morning and to have a good day, saying he had to leave for training early for wtv reason and u cant even bring urself to reply. having to go to work and everything and then when u get home jude is already back and u have every intention to completely ignore him bc what kind of boyfriend forgets their girlfriend’s birthday?
but then the house is suspiciously quiet and when u go upstairs to ur room u literally freeze in the doorway bc u don’t know what to do w the sight in front of u. jude is literally sprawled naked on the bed and he’s gone as far as to put a rose in his mouth, so many presents around him and he’s got this smile on his face bc he’s just so proud of himself. but ur not saying anything, ur literally just staring at him bc??? and he looks kind of ridiculous so u cant help but let out this little giggle when u ask him what he’s doing. he’s just frowning at u, letting the rose drop and being all “what’re u laughing for? s’not supposed to be funny” and ur asking what it is supposed to be then and he’s looking at u like ur being stupid all “romantic, obviously” and he’s looking so offended over ur reaction but ur just kind of confused why he’s done it bc you’ve forgotten abt the video and when he explains u cant help but laugh even more but at the same time u love that he remembered something so small and silly and thought to do it for u.
climbing into the bed bed w him and just smothering his face in kisses bc he really is an angel and ur telling him u thought he’d forgotten and he’s so???? bc he wld never. him just telling u he wanted to do something funny and sweet for u and the video gave him a great idea. finally opening the gifts he got u and u cant help but keep giving him kisses bc u really appreciate him and u cant believe u thought he’d ever forget bc he’s the most thoughtful and attentive person you’ve ever met
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hasan piker x weed smoking reader hcs
disclaimer! i do not condone underage marijuana usage!! this is just something silly for ppl who do/have smoked weed before. if ur under 21 in the united states don’t do it !!!
cw: marijuana usage, friends to lovers sorta idk the situation is weird, autistic coded reader ? it kinda just happens, semi pining, gn!reader
wc: 1.1k+
a/n: just me and my 3 weed smoking gfs
most of his friends in the youtube/twitch scene also smoke weed so he doesn’t really care
he smokes occasionally but only at night to help wind down a little bit
he doesnt mind the smell but he really hates when his clothes and hair smell like it
so when he’s around you make sure you’re either outside or blowing it out of a window
you never smoke inside his house
he didn’t ask you not to, you just assumed he wouldn’t like it
he doesnt and it makes him blush a little at ur consideration
whenever you get high and he doesn’t, he never says “omg ur so high” while ur trying to talk
cus like . yeah obviously that was the point ! and its not like ur completely different while high, just a little floatier and it takes you a minute to get thru ur sentences
but you talk about pretty much the same stuff and he loves talking to you
and u laugh a lot he likes that too
dont tell anyone tho
you looove getting high with him its such a special treat
ull be gathering ur paraphernalia to take out on the patio and he wanders out of his stream room looking like the sad hamster
he sees you getting ready, getting a bottle of juice and such and asks if he can join u
gasp of course he can !!!!!
asking how fucked up he wants to get so you know the best method of smoke delivery
he wants to sleep Good tonight so indica in the bong it is !
he’s nervous ab the bong so u bring out a bowl too incase he gets cold feet
he watches you get comfy in your seat outside, a comfortable warmth from the california setting sun
arranging everything ready on the table
“you look like a tweaker”
“im gonna make you a tweaker if ur not careful”
he laughs but he keeps watching you carefully pick out a healthy portion from the large bud you have, pushing it into the prongs of your grinder and twisting the two pieces against each other
he watches you pour the contents of a reusable water bottle into the large glass piece, eyeing the level of water
he watches you stop and put it to your lips, taking a pretend hit and making sure the water level is good
he watches you carefully pack the ground up flower into both bowl pieces, using your fingers to pat it level and dusting the excess back into the grinder with each one
you notice him staring but dont say anything until you’re already done
you make him an offering, bong and bowl in each respective hand. eyebrows raised as if to say, “which are we feeling?” but when he continues staring at the contents of your hands, you actually speak.
“dude are you already high, whats going on?” you laugh cautiously, genuinely a little worried but keeping it light hearted. he seems to snap out of it at your voice.
his eyes dart around for a second as he reenters his surroundings, chuckling when your word’s finally register, “no, yeah- sorry… really long day today,” his words fizzle out as he goes along. you cant help but feel bad, you dont know how he deals with streaming sometimes. you also feel weird about giving him a mind altering substance while he already seems spaced out.
setting the pieces down safely on the table, you look at him seriously before speaking, “are you sure you wanna do this? you’re kinda out of it,” you’re hard trying not to sound condescending, but you doubt he can read your tone that well right now anyway.
he smiles the most minuscule amount and looks away, but you see it. “yeah, im sure,” he sighs out gently before continuing, “i need to empty my brain,” he finishes by looking back to you with already tired eyes. you nod in understanding, relishing in knowing exactly how to fix his problem.
picking up the little glass bowl and a lighter, you hand both to him. they instantly look tiny in his hand and you’re not sure how he’s gonna actually do this. after realising you gave him green hit, you remind him to take a small hit. he just rolls his eyes sarcastically and scoffs, like of course he would, but you both know he would’ve blown a lung.
you watch him fumble with the glass, trying to get a good grip that covers the carb and wont burn his hand when he lights it
he eventually gets it and takes a little corner hit
a bit bigger than he was expecting tho so he does that thing where u cough the smoke out
just awful btw
u give him some water hes fine but boy does he love to complain
u just laugh at him and take ur own hit
breathing in deep, holding it for a second, and letting it go watching it escape into the open air
when he sees other people smoke it usually feels more rushed and energetic, like they were trying to ingest as much thc in as little time as possible
but you take your time. gathering everything and getting comfortable, settling into the ritual of the action. you take your time and let yourself feel it, you take your time and make sure he’s fully prepared before offering him anything
oh no he likes you !
he does end up hitting the bong but like the smallest baby hit so it doesn’t even count
he is sooo silly when hes high loves to laugh
he will def devolve into political rants if you let him, but you’re pretty good at making him laugh and redirecting him when hes like this
bc he smoked an indica this time his eyes are even more droopy than they were before and you can tell he’s getting tired
you clean up and follow him back inside amd he goes completely baby mode at the sight of kaya sleeping on the couch
petting her and pressing his face into her fur, going on and on about how soft she is
you laugh and sit on the other end of the big sectional covered in pillows and blankets
when hes done melting into kaya he sits down next to u with his arm around the back of the couch
real smooth .
it works 1000%
watching smth stupid like family guy (genuinely my fave show while high i will not elaborate)
chilling until he decides to go to bed at like 8:30
he convinces u to sleep on the couch bc ur both too high to drive and he would freak out at the thought of u in an uber rn
okay i have to be done i basically wrote a oneshot in the middle bye bye
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