#her love life is fucking insane for someone who’s second appearance was about her hating love
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Bryce’s love life is fucking crazy, especially with my ships lol
Her first ever love she literally rips her heart out for and who almost immediately gets taken away from her
She then never loves again until her 20s where she falls for a rando she literally only gave her number to out of pure panic while abetting a robbery, and who- like- after a couple weeks? Dies a brutal death that she fully blames herself for, which she then rebuilds as a robot
Said person who built said robot she also kinda falls for and now has an incredibly weird friendship? Relationship? With and was 1000% her sapphic awakening
Then she RE-MEETS her first love and becomes completely obsessed
THEN! A couple years later she meets a fake-British couple who kidnapped her first love and joins up with them to save said first love and along the way also kinda falls in love/lust with the wife of the pair because she’s also a hot cunty bitch who’s deeply in love and down for crime
Bryce’s love life literally goes:
Bobby > Donovan > Robo Donovan > Robo Donovan + Gloria > Robo Donovan + Gloria + Bobby > Robo Donovan + Gloria + Bobby + Lady
#brandon rogers#brandon rogers cinematic universe#brcu#bryce tankthrust#brandon rogers bryce tankthrust#BRCU shipping#bobby worst#lady mingeworthy#donovan brcu#brandon rogers donovan#ladybryce#Worstthrust#worstthrustovan#gloria goopty#Gloryce#?#Gloria and Bryce don’t have a ship name we need to come up with one#Gloria Goopty x Bryce Tankthrust#polyam shipping#her love life is fucking insane for someone who’s second appearance was about her hating love#🪲
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the dark lord and his distraction / tom riddle
pairing: tom riddle x fem!reader
content: muggleborn!reader, swearing
summary: you distract tom from his plans. and he hates it.
a/n: this is my pt. 2 to the lamb and her wolf! idk if i like this but i kinda do but Arghh idk. there will prob be a part 3. love u guys!
read part one here!
⋆ ࣪. ⁺⑅ ⋰˚ *.ﾟ .˳⁺⁎˚ ˚⁎⁺˳ . ༺ ˖࣪ ˖࣪ ∗
“Hello!” you chirp, skipping over, books in hand.
Tom’s not looking for company. In fact, he was actively avoiding it. He couldn’t continue to be distracted by you. He had work to be done, meetings to be held. But he’s a weak man recently. “Hello.”
You set your things down and lace your arms around his neck suddenly. He’s absolutely horrified. “Thank you for your help studying, Tommy, I’ve passed my exam with full marks!”
He clears his throat and you leave a patch of goosebumps in your wake. “You’re welcome,” he drawls. “You wouldn’t have to spend so much extra time revising if you’d only paid attention in class.”
Tom knows you’re merely a distraction, an inconvenience to be ignored. Deadweight to his plans. You’d be a mistake. It’s obvious what he should do. He should send you off on your merry way and end whatever friendship has blossomed between you, so you at least have a chance at living. For someone so obsessed with immortality, Tom knew he was a dead man the moment you strut into his life, all smiles and Mary Jane’s. But he’s selfish, and so you were dead right with him, that very minute.
He doesn’t like anything you bring. He doesn’t like the reactions you elicit from calling him Tommy and he doesn’t like how you make him happy. Or hopeful. There is no hope for him. He’s destined to live a half-life and he doesn’t like that he wants to make you live that life too.
And you’re not entirely stupid. You know there’s something strange about him and that’s exactly why you come every day with your books and snacks. You’re curious. He’s haunting— a concoction of allure and fear and it’s all but enticing. “Well, who wants to do that? You’re a far better teacher.”
His face casts the ghost of a smile. “Don’t you have chess club in 15 minutes?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there,” you say, easily. Then the realisation dawns on you: You’ve never given him your schedule. “Wait a second,” you laugh. “How do you know that?”
He holds an even tone. “Not hard to guess.”
You blink. Change the topic. “You’re very pretty, you know?”
His knees almost give out and he’s seated comfortably on a chair. “Thank you,” he whispers, trying hard not to sound surprised. He’s not unaware of his good looks, but how anyone could be so casual about it is beyond him.
You’re an aberration, he thinks. No, he’s sure. You write notes in the margins of his textbooks and fall asleep on his shoulder. And when you do so, you let out the cutest little snores and purr. Like a fucking kitten. It drives him to insanity and even deeper into his spiral.
“No, like, you are super pretty. It’s kind of otherworldly.”
He’s not too sure what to say. He’s never rendered speechless by anyone, but fuck, you’re his exception to just about everything. Instead, he stiffens and breathes out a small, “That’s kind.”
Your cheeks dimple and Tom swears he sees his future. But that’s crazy. He has to remember who you are and hell, who he is. He’s the Dark Lord, evil, no matter how you see him in that pretty head of yours. And you’re a filthy Mudblood.
It’s been two days and he hasn’t seen you anywhere. He’s starting to think there *is* no cure to his hysteria because he acts crazy in both your presence and absence. He thinks about you too much in both. He’s looked everywhere; in all your classes and even your dorm that he’s managed to find.
He’s about giving up. There is no point because you’re meant to be temporary.
“Hi,” you say, breathlessly as you appear behind him, startling him into oblivion. He’s a skilled Legilimens so he should’ve heard your thoughts as you creeped up, but he was too busy with his own about you.
He conceals his relief and narrows his eyes. “You have been gone.”
You look a little disheveled but beautiful as ever. Tom doesn’t sweat, but it feels like he’s going to. “Family stuff. You know how it goes!”
Tom doesn’t know how it goes. He’s used to abandonment and lonely holidays. He doesn’t know how it goes but he knows how it feels to dread the Christmases and Easters and summers because all he can look forward to is disappointment.
He winces. You notice and cringe. You don’t know much about his family but judging by that reaction, it’s no good. “Mm,” he manages. It’s silence for a bit. Comfortable silence. He’s secretly relishing in your company. “I didn’t like it when you were gone.”
What a fucking tool.
The corners of your lips curl into a soft grin. “You are adorable!” you giggle. He’s mortified.
You haven’t really told any of your friends about your blooming acquaintanceship with Tom Riddle. After all, he’s not really known for his friendliness. But you trust Camilla. And you’ve used up the last of your excuses for bailing on meals to study with him.
“Riddle. Are you joking me?”
Your eyebrows quirk up. “No. He’s a breath of fresh air from the Hogwarts hustle. Not much of a talker though. I do most of that.”
She smiles a little like it’s expected of you but it fades once she refocuses. “He doesn’t like us Muggleborns, you know.”
“That’s silly.”
“Only true. I heard Mulciber whispering about it. Like, they really don’t like us. No wonder he’s such a git towards me in class.”
“Have you ever actually spoken to Tom, though?” You fold your arms over your chest. You’re not too sure why you’re being defensive.
“Well, no—“
“That’s what I thought! You don’t give people chances, Camilla. You rely on gossip to fuel your opinions,” you spit.
Camilla puts her hands up in surrender and starts talking about the cute Ravenclaw boy she’s planning to ask out.
“Oh! And I think Murphy fancies you! He asked me to ask you how you felt about him.”
You thought about him for a moment. He’s nothing special but he’s attractive and you’re honestly willing to give it a shot.
Tom is fuming, hearing what you think. Listening from around the corner and it’s creepy and borderline stalker-ish but he’s begun to feel a strange protectiveness over you. Frenzy and all that.
So, yes. You’re merely a distraction, an inconvenience to be ignored. Deadweight to his plans. But… you were a desire. A selfish, greedy desire.
And Tom always gets what he wants.
taglist for this series! @helalokithor @mli345 (can’t find ur blog so sorry!!) lmk if u want to be added!
#🎞 by.ivy#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter imagine#hp imagine#tom riddle blurb#tom riddle x reader fluff#tom riddle fluff#tom riddle x you#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle imagine#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle fanfiction#tom marvolo riddle#tom riddle#tom riddle drabble#tom riddle angst
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Anyways here are some more of my wednesday opinions cause I need them out of my brain (spoilers obvi)
First? Why is everyone hating on the show?? Between the ‘both men where so bland I couldn’t tell them apart fuck love triangles’ and ‘this isn’t an Adams reboot this sucks they made this show horrible and so out of character’ y’all need to take some breaths.
I found it super compelling and enjoyable!! I loved seeing wednesday grow from someone how hated people and emotions to someone who still hates emotions but has them and has a good relationship with both her new friends and family!
To address the comments above:
Okay maybe Xavier is slightly bland - angsty art kid however his use in the plot and the fact that we are seeing him from Wednesdays pov who obviously doesn’t like him that much and is only using him for her own gain really saves him for me and leaves him open for more development. Talking about the love triangle - I struggle to see one. Its mostly Tyler x wednesday and xaviers crush is one sided, there is no point in the show where she laments over which boy she wants or the fact that she likes both of them - I think we have mixed up what an actual cliche love triangle is in media and ‘these two attractive boys are both in love with the main character’. There might have been more rivalry between them but wednesday certainly wasn’t aware of it
Tyler deserves his own dot point to address the comment above cause HOW CAN U SAY THAT MAN IS BLAND. especially after the last episode. It switches the view on his whole supposedly ‘bland’ point of view and forces u to think about wether thats the real thing and the person in the last ep was an amalgamation of manipulation and grooming as well as deep seeded trauma or if he was playing us the whole time with this awkward clueless personality as he manipulated everyone around him which is such a cool way of looking at it. If u don’t believe me go rewatch the series as if Tyler is aware of everything and is willingly manipulating everyone - cures the ‘he’s boring to watch’ thing instantly.
Okay getting to the second point - I completely see where u are coming from but like its called WEDNESDAY. Its about this version of wednesday not the whole family, they don’t even appear in it very much. when I seperated it from the previous versions of the Adams family it was super good (however I do get where y’all are coming from about the whole ‘crazy morbid loving family’ dynamic being destroyed but I liked the journey that wednesday and mortica went on and I think it added to her character so I am willingly ignoring it
Okay now for the part where I rant about Tyler Gilpin cause I love that man with my whole heart and I am a Tyler apologist first and a human being second
MANS WAS MANIPULATED and has some super bad trauma. From the point where his mum died and his dad practically abandoned him and thennn the first person he thought he could trust to look after him and tell him the truth proceeded to turn around and groom and manipulate and USE HIM for her own gain and chained up a literal child whilst forcing him to change into a monster :/ people keep forgetting that he is literally at most 17/18 but probably 16/17 and has been left by every single adult in his child life. Cut my man some slack.
second: he really did want to leave!! He had no control over his actions as the hyde - he literally says in the first episode how ‘at least one of them would be able to get out of this hellhole town.’ He was a manipulated child!! Sure he might have been slightly dark in his own right but he wasn’t going around murdering people for funzies and he probably only started to enjoy it as a trauma response :/ like what else was he supposed to do?? Go insane cause there was this woman who was forcing him to kill people. He couldn’t control himself as the hyde (u know in the last ep where he said ‘I wake up covered in blood and have no memory of what happened’ ect ect) so everyone saying he’s a murderer who doesn’t deserve wednesday (also wouldn’t a pscyo murderer be like the perfect fir for wednesday? that scene where he admits to hurting Xavier and then trying to get better and wednesday saying she would have done something worse for the fun of it?? Bruh they are so perfect together and have so much chemistry but ill put that in another rant) anyways. Y’all are acting like he just went around murdering people for the fun of it completely aware are endorsing his actions (did we even watch the same show?) when the main point of Wednesday figuring out the master was a hyde was that there was actually another person controlling the monster in the woods and it wasn’t acting alone
Also - I see lots of people being like “yeah but he basically assaulted Xavier y’all are ignoring it he’s a bad person 🙄💅” but like?? So was Lucas? 1 he was in the ‘friends’ who distroyed Xaviers painting as well, and he bullied Eugene and tried to fight/hurt wednesday just for being an outcast and used enid to get into the dance and ruined it for everyone and u don’t see people bashing him? People can change and realise that the stuff they used to do as a tween was bad and full of bias inherited from their parents/society :/
Anyways to sum up that rant - I love my slightly murderous and traumatised but yet awkward and soft hearted barista with my whole life and if he doesn’t get a redemption arch enemies to lovers, joining the gang (enid, Ajax, wednesday, Bianca, Xavier, Eugene and thing obvi), learning how to control the monster inside storyline next season I’m going to riot.
Also antihero is totally Tylers song and I love it
Imma be honest I didn’t dislike any of the characters - I think they are either already well fleshed out and interesting or have the potential to be and I loved the way the three seperate plot lines managed to organically weave and thread together into one whole point just viewed from different angles a lot. I absolutely love enid with my whole heart (I’m not stepping on wenclair at all I love the idea but I just really like the sunshinexgrumpy bestie vibes they have going on and I love Ajax to much to cut him out he’s so supportive and lovely) and she was such a good character with her own plot lines and the way she and thing interacted has my whole heart. Also the way that she got more understanding and wednesday got better at social cues and how to be friends/show emotions was really well done.
Also low key if u apply my fav way to solve this said ‘love triangle’ which is they all just date each other meaning we get both tylorpe anddd these boys who love wednesday with their entire beings and supportive ajax and enid 👀👀👀👀 (yes Wednesday needs too grovel a little with Xavier she did not treat him well at all and Xavier maybe should get more interests than brooding and painting but we can work on it) ((I also approve of the fact that wednesday has two hands one for each Tyler and enid and ajax can share))
Im also seeing a lot of Tyler/Xavier hate but like,, can y’all not see wednesday isn’t the perfect character either? Like she’s a super morally reprehensible character and treats people hella bad some times. she literally put the only two people who she had managed to get attached too/have a connection too (Tyler and enid ((excluding Eugene love him too))) in danger for her own gain. I know thats the whole point of the show and I love her in that regard, it makes her character really interesting but like— she’s not absolutely perfect and these ‘mean bland boys don’t deserve her’ comments really aren’t helping her character development
Okay thats it :)
PLS BE NICE TO ME!! EVERY SINGLE POST IS SEE HAS PEOPLE UNDERNEATH IT GOING (ur opinions are wrong and ur a terrible person for shipping/not shipping this thing) (bc wenclair/wednesdayxxavier didn’t get together it was such a terrible show) (love triangles suck and if u like them u are a woman hating nazi) LIKE CAN YALL CALM DOWN ITS LITERALLY A SHOW CHILL OUT
#wednesday#wednesday addams#tyler galpin#enid sinclair#xavier thorpe#thing#ajax petropolus#Eugene (I dont know his last name)#bee boy#there we go#bianca belair#wednesday x tyler#love them#I mean u can disagree with me but u won't change my mind#I don't care if the actors and general fandom don't ship them I do#thing said yes so as do I#wednesday netflix#okay I think that is it#if u want more Wyler content feel free to scroll down my blog I think I have rebloggedalmost every post about them I could find#speaking of which#Wyler#Tyler gallon defence
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how come you’re so crazy about kikuno? asking as someone who only knows her from arena
honestly anon a good 50% of it is “i literally don’t know”. maybe it’s the fact that she’s so underrated that kind of stokes my obsession a little? the other half of it is well. not even so much just her roles in each story she’s involved in but just general stuff about her as a character beyond that. i’ll give my general reasonings
(beneath a cut because wow i started rambling really hard)
im a sucker for the general trope of an utterly devoted character that serves under another, potentially to the point of viewing themselves as a tool. combine that with the general aesthetic of a battle maid and im pretty much sold.
further combine that with a devotion so sincere that it corrupts, and you have me acting up. kikuno being so hellbent on setting mitsuru free of her family’s burdens that she is willing to sacrifice the entirety of sees for it, that she goes as far as drugging her so she might sleep through it all, was just insanely interesting to me. kikuno clearly despises takedera, thinks lowly of him, but joins forces with him for the good of providing peace to the person dearest to her, even at the risk of being hated by her.
she also technically falls under that other trope i like where she has a history of being a lab experiment. which i sorely wish they would’ve done more with! the horrifying implications of a child that was sold to ergo research!! a survivor of that dark hour experimentation that’s effect is typically known only through strega (and eventually sho by extension). takedera threatening her with returning to those experiments is a genuine hair raising moment to me. she’s the type of character you imagine would have a persona, but she never seems to awaken to one, only having the potential to interact with the dark hour.
shes also outright a cool addition to exploring more of mitsuru’s backstory and home life. the drama cd in general gives insight to mitsuru as a child and i came away feeling even more fondness for a character i already love intensely. (seriously, kikuno describing their first meeting and how much of a little shit mitsuru was about trying to make friends with a withdrawn and bitter kikuno…so sweet)
i just really get the sense that the writers have a fondness for her. she almost feels like someone’s oc. she’s practically a main character in the drama cd she originates from, she briefly cameos in a later drama cd promoting the movies (and has a brief appearance in the movies!!!!), then goes from loose mention in the first arena game to a fully visually implemented character in ultimax with portraits and voicework, and later she’s portrayed in the stageplay based on ultimax. surely you could chalk a ton of this up to needing a plot-furthering character and kikuno as a pre-existing concept would more often than not fit the bill but i like to imagine she’s just a Well Loved side character. i sincerely hope that love persists into reload. im DYING to see her again, even if it’s just a brief moment.
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER. in the second scene shes in she tells the limo driver escorting her and mitsuru to the manor to run over a crowd. shes like an angry attack dog for the first half of new moon that mitsuru needs to tell to relax. she fucking pretends to break a ring that normal people use to access the dark hour, acts like she loses all of her memories in the past 6 years to takedera AND TO MITSURU BEFORE BEING LIKE OH LOL IM FINE BTW. IVE ALWAYS HAD ACCESS TO THE DARK HOUR I JUST PRETENDED TO USE THE RING AND NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT IT. she blows up the iwatodai dorm kitchen because she impulsively came over to help bake something as an apology to mitsuru, and doesn’t tell anyone that she’s never cooked before until after there is a fire. when mitsuru requests a beach-related activity for the senpai squad to partake in she sends an entire cruise ship to them. in arena she intentionally leaves the top open on the artificial dark hour-inducing box so that the police investigators handling the materials snoop into it, trigger it, and get attacked. she stays On Site in a damaged helicopter during ultimax so she can shoot down and blow up shadows and smiles and winks while she does it like she’s having the time of her life.
its not anything New i guess but the way she carries herself does kill me. woman who behaves so put together but is so not. she wants to commit unspeakable violence. shes smug and cunning. also she can be incredibly fucking stupid and i chalk that up to having grown up somewhat sheltered in the same manner as mitsuru. the perfect woman i think
gay ass homosexual woman. if a relationship in p3 is paralleled with junpei and chidori it’s so over that’s them telling you something gay is happening. you cannot refer to somebody as “the one destined for you” and be not gay about it. it does not help that she then compares herself to yukari who is also ridiculously gay with mitsuru. it’s also like why are you as a woman revolving your life’s work around providing comfort and peace to another woman. she’s ridiculous get me out of here.
her arena design is like catnip for me. what is she so dykey for!? her fucking chest harness....
another thing is like just generally the Potential she holds as a character. i would've liked to see her directly encounter more members of sees beyond her first appearance. i think her and yukari's dynamic in particular is really funny just based on the last bit of dialogue between them in nm/fm. something about the kinda one-sided like. kinship kikuno appears to have with her and like i wanted to see how yukari would further deal with her and her antics but they dont really interact on character developing-based terms in ultimax....i like to think about them anyways. ive also manifested the concept of strega being loosely aware of her from their time as child experiments under the kirijo group, particularly ive been wanting to try writing or drawing something grounded in the dynamic between her and chidori consisting of how differently the two ended up and how that might create further tension than what we got in their brief canon interaction...im just Rambling at this point but its genuinely a big part of her appeal to me.
well while im here. i feel like there might be this impression that i ship kikuno with either yukari or mitsuru but like generally speaking i find it hard to put into words what the deal is. i dont really consider either of them in a romantic relationship with her and yet there is some kind of psuedo-polycule shit going on there in my brain. i dont pair them but theyre doing gay stuff n proximity to each other. do you get it. its like two married women and the maid that they do yuri shit with
she sucks a little bit and also shes so awesome. im her biggest fan. thats all
addendum: PLEASE, one p3 fan to another, do yourself a favor and either listen along to or read the scripts for the drama cds she appears in. (and the whole p3 drama cd catalogue in general because honestly its made up of really great stuff between sincere lore shit and just characters goofing off during daily life.) i'll link the specific ones below for ease of access also.
New Moon (Youtube) (Script)
Full Moon (Youtube) (Script)
#quinn moment#p3#kikuno saikawa#asks#anonymous#this is like. turbo autism blast sorry anon. but also you asked for it
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. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
Ilya starts out as a girl living in the 1860’s Russian empire. Her family is relatively upper class, but not nobles or any sort of royalty. She grew up very obsessed with romance in both novels and real life.
At the time Russia and Japan had relatively good relations, and the reason for her visit isn’t important. She goes right at the start of the Japanese civil war, but ends up trapped there after fighting breaks out.
Scared and in an unfamiliar country (and only speaking the barest amounts of japanese) Ilya is easily lured into the eternal paradise cult. A commune full of hot men and women lead by an even hotter “god” means she barely needs any convincing.
Ilya is barely an adult, and while she’s smart academically the girl has no street smarts. Douma could eat someone right in front of her and she would hardly blink. In fact he’s sinking his teeth into her neck and she’s convinced they’re having some hot vampire sex. (Vampires being much more prevalent in Russian folklore as opposed to Japanese demons.) The woman bites Douma back, and caught off guard her teeth manage to penetrate his skin.
After an unhealthy dose of demon blood (and Douma unceremoniously kicking her out) Ilya is left to learn about being a demon on her own.
(Is this how being turned into a demon works? no? Well it’s funny this way so be quiet.)
She simply fucks around for about 50 years. Her strategy is to avoid other demons (and slayers), keep moving, and eat anyone who captures her eye. While she never develops a proper blood demon art the woman has a knack for changing her appearance to better attract whoever she’s chosen as her meal. Though Ilya can only hold these alternate identities for a few hours.
Her regular form shifts over time too. At first she adopts Douma’s rainbow eyes. A decade later a shopkeep escapes from her, his black hair stays with her as a reminder. Overtime her eyes and hair and hands shift. Some nights she looks almost human, other nights eyes emerge from her face in a myriad of colors.
Though Ilya tries to keep herself hidden, she inevitably comes across other demons. While in the middle of a fight with one (and loosing pretty badly, Ilya is… rescued? Rengoku swoops in, intending to kill both demons. The second her attacker and the slayer are occupied the girl hides away.
Rengoku consumes her every thought. Through their one interaction (and a bit of clever spying) Ilya finds herself throughly obsessed. Even finding other attractive humans to eat doesn’t fill the hole in her heart.
Instead she wants to be the kind of person Kyojuro would like. The man is long gone by now, but Ilya still has an idea of what a slayer would hate. That idea mostly involves man eating demons.
Going cold-turkey is a bad idea. The demoness mostly stumbles around growing weaker as she isolates herself. She’s sick and delusional, mumbling about true love. Ilya has always been a little insane but on the brink of starvation she’s worse than ever.
Eventually Tamayo finds the girl. She’s not even conscious enough to talk to the woman. It takes quite a bit of time for the doctor to help her. After a few weeks she finally makes it back to normal(ish). Ilya hasn’t regained her human sensibilities. She’s just aware enough to survive on bits of blood like Tamayo and Yushiro do.
Of course the center of her affection is now Tamayo (at least while Rengoku isn’t in the room with her). Yushiro isn’t too pleased, but Ilya can clean and her bedside manner isn’t half bad.
Because she doesn’t provide anything particularly necessary Ilya is allowed quite a bit of freedom as well. With how devoted she is to Tamayo it’s not a concern that she’d spill any secrets.
They certainly don’t expect her to make friends with a cute pair of demon slayers, but there’s technically nothing wrong with it either. Mina and Ayaka aren’t too keen on Ilya, but they’re not actively trying to kill her. It’s a weird little group. Ilya doesn’t help with much of anything. She just makes great moral support standing there and looking pretty.
Eventually they help her expand her blood demon art. Ambush attacks become a lot easier when the duo of fighters look like a pair of trees. The illusions don’t last long, and only work if the target is standing still, but it’s a big leg up. Demons aren’t expecting the slayers to have anything more than swords on their side.
Meanwhile Rengoku is halfway across the country getting murdered by Akaza. Word spreads to the hashira first, and then trickles down to the rest of corps. Neither of her comrades inform Ilya. They’re worried about getting murdered for daring to brake her precocious fantasy.
Time moves forward. The corps grow closer to fighting Muzan. Tamayo moves forward with her concoctions. Yushiro has given up on his human life and there’s no telling if his sickness would return or not. But alongside Nezuko, Ilya is happy to return to a human life. She never had preference for her form, but being able to eat a wedding cake would be nice. Kyojuro might like that better too.
Given Ilya’s mostly irrelevant status she’s allowed to take the serum at the butterfly estate. The demon doesn’t mind children and the trio of girls at the house are used to dealing with all kinds of odd characters.
At some point in between all of Ilya’s random rambling it slips that Kyojuro’s dead. It doesn’t matter which girl told her. She’s completely distraught. The love burning in her lungs is the only thing keeping her going.
It’s easy to slip out. She excuses herself to go to the restroom. (Do demons use the bathroom?) Finding herself in the depths of the infinity castle the only thing on her mind is killing upper moon three.
If she was weak as a demon then Ilya is dead weight as a half-human becoming more human by the second. She’s lucky Akaza doesn’t eat women. There’s not even a real fight. Akaza flings her through a few walls. Her regeneration is slowing to a crawl. She probably won’t die for a few hours, but unless someone finds her then there’s no chance of surviving.
When Tomioka (and Tanjiro) battle Akaza the slender man is all she can focus on. Ilya is still working through the haze of becoming human, and dizzy from blood loss. She’s not quite as crazy as before, but the actions are easy to distort when she can hardly see.
Tomioka (and Tanjiro) notice the women. Their too kind to ever dream of leaving her. Having been mostly secluded at the butterfly estate for several weeks she hadn’t properly met either of the men. They assume she’s a civilian who got trapped in the chaos or another slayer caught out of uniform. The solution is the same no matter what. Helping her to a more secluded area her wounds are bandaged and she’s left until the battle ends or kakushi find her.
She survives with mostly intact body parts. Through the haze of her demonic memories Ilya can’t remember much. Nobody around her is even capable of patching up her memories. Even if they could nobody has the time.
Ilya reads a lot. She catches up on the last 80 years because most of it is fuzzy figures and faint emotions. In between crying and throwing up she does help where she can. Disinfecting injuries and cooking is something she can manage. Everyone is rather nice to her too. She tries to act like a normal teen. She feels like one in some way. All the hot men and women around her are even more of a fantasy than Douma’s cult was. (Ilya faintly knows that she was tricked in most ways.)
Mina and Ayaka are kind enough to help house her. They got along with demon Ilya, but human Ilya is a real person they can talk to. Most of the corps funds are spread out amongst surviving corps members. It’s simple enough to buy a house with the small fortune shared between the trio.
Ilya keeps in touch with as many (hot) people as possible. Tomioka never answers her letters, but he’s available and handsome and rich! Nezuko makes a good companion. She’s the only other person who can relate to knowing people and still not having any idea who they are. Looking at Senjuro makes her heart tear in half even though she doesn’t know why. She does know that the boy reminds her of her (long dead) younger brothers, so Ilya forces herself to talk to him anyways.
Yushiro is a bad conversationalist. He keeps alluding to things she should know. Whenever he mentions Tamayo tears hide in his lashes. He hurts the most to talk to. Anytime she asks the man why he doesn’t want to be human he goes quiet.
It’s a weird sort of ending. There’s no bang or flash that concludes it with excitement. She starts to age again. There’s a big celebration when she finally turns 19. Eventually she’ll show Mina and Ayaka her homeland. They’ll work at a bakery of grocery store once saving run out and finally become normal(ish) people.
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Alright, so I'm done with 'That 90's Show' season 1. Here are a few takeaways from someone who LOVED the original show:
Bad parts:
The theme song is really annoying & it just bugs me as someone who has spent a somewhat insane amount of time watching & re-watching the original & singing along. This probably won't bother most people but it's irritating to me
Ozzie as a character is borderline offensive to me. I'm not sure that I'd go so far as to say his characterization is racist or homophobic EXACTLY but...there's something uncomfortable about it. He's literally just a sassy quip machine awkward ham-fisted joke deliverer & he makes me cringe. If there's a second season I really hope they delve into him just a little more since he is part of the main group.
It's annoying & weird that Laurie & Hyde are both absent without reference. I can understand not wanting to replace actors who can't be there, but these were 2 important characters to the group & they could've very easily given us a throwaway comment about where they were. It's just....bad writing, & incredibly noticeable & uncomfortable.
Good parts:
Let's just get this one out there first - every single OG cameo had me cheering. Yes, I claim to hate reboots & remakes & I scream about letting things end & I stand by that but if they're going to do it, I want it done well damn it & this show did in my opinion. I just absolutely loved every single appearance from the original cast members.
I love Jackie & Michale as the couple in a perpetual cycle of getting divorced & back together. I loved Fez as a hair salon owner living his best life. Donn & Eric were iconic. I cheered for Leo's hilarious & fun cameos & same with Fenton's. They did justice to my faves who appeared.
The new characters are interesting & fun for the most part. I like that they reference the original characters without being stand-ins. These characters have their own stuff going on & their conflicts are funny & entertaining. It took a while to get me truly invested but I was always entertained. This show has the same funny charm & humor as the original. The chemistry between the main cast & the humor works really well.
KITTY & RED!!!!!!!! This one I'm not even sure if it needs to be explained but god...I just fucking love Kitty & Red Forman so much & seeing them with a house full of teens being their awesome selves filled me with joy. I just fucking love them.
Not a good part or a bad part but something I'm speculating about:
I'm fine with the little last minute Jay Nate Leia Nicky triangle / square whatever & the canon romance drama. It feels similar to early seasons 'That 70's Show' conflicts & I'm certainly entertained. And I like Jay. He's fun & cute & he's totally SUCH a Kelso. But.....
I SWEAR I almost thought there was going to be something canon between Leia & Gwen SEVERAL times. I mean, sure, me shipping the two girls? Yeah, that's typical but it almost felt like there might be something canon there. Their entire dynamic is SO reminiscent of Eric & Donna. The dork who lives next door to the cool girl? The moments on the hood of the Vista Cruiser? Sneaking through windows? I'm not delusional am I like PLEASE tell me y'all saw it too? Also, there's a textual (not even subtextual!) love triangle between Gwen, Jay, & Leia! Leia literally promises them both her time & does the whole sitcom double-booking her afternoon thing. She talks about loving them both! What??? Like....I don't know if I'm crazy but it REALLY feels like the show might just be going somewhere with this if it gets renewed.
Alright, that's all I have for this post! Those are my main reactions to this show.
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SLEEPLESS
a/n: omg! it's been so long since i last wrote something for harry so it feels a bit weird but in a good way to be back. i've been spending more time offline so writing hasn't been going that fast like before, but im working on a few other stuff too! just please be patient with me, im trying my besti swear! so now enjoy this oneshot of two oblivious and stupid roommates who start sharing a bed...
pairing: Roommate!Harry x reader
word count: 8.1k
masterlist
Living with three boys has its perks but also a lot of downsides too. It’s not how you planned, you were set to move in with one of your friends from second year, but she bailed on you last minute, leaving you with no place to live when most of the houses were already taken for the next at least one year. You were bracing yourself to sleep under a bridge or something already when your heroes came along.
You went to high school with Harry Niall and Louis, but you weren’t exactly in the same friend group, just knew about each other. Then you ended up in the same Lit class freshman year with Harry and he was basically your pass into their little group. You hit it off pretty easily and you always wondered why you didn’t become friends before college. Later you had two more classes with him in the second semester and it was just all a coincidence that he found out about your living situation.
“Why don’t you move in with us?” he prompted one afternoon when you were studying together in the library.
“I’m not sharing a room with any of you, Harry,” you sighed, shaking your head.
“You wouldn’t have to. We had a fourth mate living with us but he dropped out about a month ago. You could take his bedroom.”
“Are for real? You should talk about it with the boys first, don’t you think?”
“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind it. They like you too and if I’m being honest, the place could use the touch of a woman,” he smirked and you just rolled your eyes, but you were incredibly thankful for the offer.
So after talking with Niall and Louis about it and once they gave their amens on the situation, you officially moved in with the three of them.
You’d be lying if you said there hasn’t been times when you thought about choosing the bridge, living with boys is not exactly a dream. They are messy, sometimes loud and oblivious about certain things women do and need. You’ll never forget Niall’s face when you packed the shelf above the toilet with your tampons and pads. The horror in his eyes as he examined all the different sizes and types.
“But why so many? I don’t get it why you need the large ones and the mini ones too,” he huffed.
“Because I vary them according to the strength of my flow.”
“Bless you,” he scoffed and just walked away.
They tend to leave their clothes around the house and they don’t always realize when it’s time to let some fresh air into the place either. Harry has a sixth sense wanting to use the bathroom when you’re in and Louis always forgets to get rid of his spoiled food from the fridge. Tini things that surely got you thinking if it was a good idea to move in with them. But then there are times when you can’t even imagine sharing a home with anyone else than these three idiots.
The way Harry always leaves you a cup of coffee on the counter when he has an early class on mondays and wednesdays, how Niall always waits for you to get home after your night shifts at the restaurant you’ve been working at, but he always just says he was watching Supernatural on TV. You love that Louis goes out of his way to get you your favorite pastry for breakfast on sundays when he goes for his morning runs. But the absolute best is that you never feel alone or bored with these three around. Something is always happening and they make sure to involve you in everything, making you feel like part of their little pack.
Tonight is Thursday and Thursdays are movie nights in your home. It’s been a tradition since the first week and you haven’t missed any of them. Sitting on the couch at your usual spot, you laugh as Niall growls in annoyance when you suggest to watch another rom-com.
“Not again!” he protests, sitting on the floor by the coffee table you and Harry thrifted a few months ago after the previous one was broken at a smaller party held in the house.
“Why? I bet Harry would love it!” you grin, glancing at the guy in talk who is now entering the room with a big bowl of popcorn.
“Of course he would, because he is a pussy! And the two of you always team up, dragging Louis with you so I can never watch something I enjoy!” Niall whines as Harry sits next to you, not too bothered by his friend’s cries.
“Come on, I bet you enjoyed Crazy, Stupid Love last week!” you laugh, remembering how he whined for the first part, then fell asleep at the end.
“Love, if you think that was enjoyment, I wouldn’t want to be your boyfriend,” Niall scoffs and you gasp at his reply.
“Hey!” you snap at him, but can’t help laughing. This is how it always goes with you and Niall, the non-stop bickering can sometimes drive Harry and Lou insane.
“Okay, so what do you want to watch?” Harry asks, throwing some popcorn into his mouth as he gets comfortable, an arm resting on the back of the couch behind you, the other one busy with the snack in his lap.
“There is this new horror I’ve been dying to see!” Niall’s blue eyes light up right away, but you’re fast to break that shine.
“Nah, no way. I’m not watching a horror movie.”
“Why not?”
“Because I fucking hate them and they scare the shit out of me.”
“That’s like the whole point!” he protests, but you shake your head no again.
“What are you fighting about again?” Louis asks, walking into the room after his quick shower, the smell of his body wash filling the room for a few moments.
“I want to watch a horror movie, but Y/N is a little baby and she doesn’t want to.”
“I’m not a baby! I just don’t enjoy watching people get killed or demons sucking the life out of someone!” Niall just rolls his eyes at your response.
“But it’s always what you or Harry wants to watch, why can’t I choose just this once?”
“That’s not true, we watch movies you like too!” you retort, but Niall gives you an unimpressed look. “We watched that crime thing, that was your choice!”
“That was three months ago, Y/N,” he sighs and as you do some quick math you realize that he is right.
“Hey, he has a point. Let’s just watch what he wants this one time, yeah?” Harry curls his arm that’s been on the back of the couch around your shoulder and he pulls you to his side, squeezing you gently.
“But I hate horrors,” you pout, knowing well that it’s already kind of settled, you lost this battle.
“It’s just a movie. And if you get scared in the night, you can sleep at mine,” he offers with a wink that surely makes your heartbeat fasten a bit.
If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a tiny crush on Harry, even back in high school, when you didn’t really know him. He was the cool guy, but not the douchebag type, more like the one that was nice to everyone and earned their respect and liking. Getting to know him just proved that he really is a great guy, but you figured he would never feel the same way about you. These three guys only saw you as their sister and that was in a way kinda worse than being friend zoned, but there’s nothing you can do about it, so you just decided to come to peace with your situation. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get flustered when you see him wander around the house in just his boxers or when he gets a little touchy with you, which happens a lot, because that’s just how he is. Hands on your shoulders, a little squeeze on your hips, the gentle touch of his fingers on your back, they happen all the time and they get your pulse up every time. You can only hope it’s not that noticeable.
Niall finally gets what he wants and you agree to watch that stupid horror movie. It doesn’t start off too bad, but it quickly escalates and makes you shudder every time the screen gets a little darker or the music is foreshadowing that something is about to happen.
“Jesus fuck!” you jump a little when the killer appears out of nowhere in the scene.
“You alright?” Harry asks, peeking down at you.
“I fucking hate this dude,” you mumble, rubbing your face with your hands, to get your shit together. Harry chuckles lightly next to you, his arm pulling you to his side close and you gladly sink against him, the warmth of his body giving you some comfort and a sense of safety.
Your eyes are on the screen, but your mind is dancing around how his fingers are delicately running up and down your arm, drawing circles and little shapes on your skin. It could put you to sleep easily, even with the woman screaming on the screen after seeing her husband get killed.
“Just imagine the guy with a funny mustache,” Harry murmurs, leaning closer to you so he doesn’t bother the other two guys with his comment. “Or maybe in a ridiculous outfit.”
“Like… in a onsie?” you ask, squinting your eyes at the screen.
“Could be, yeah,” he chuckles quietly. “Just imagine him running through the woods in a onsie with bunnies all over it.”
You can’t push your laughter down, covering your mouth with your hand so you don’t bother the others. Harry just smirks, giving you a squeeze as you’re still melted against his side on the couch, legs pulled up to your chest, while his are spread out in front of him.
“Definitely not that scary,” you giggle and Harry hums in agreement.
“Would you mind getting a fucking room, you guys? You have two, in fact!” Niall snaps at you playfully, when you start laughing again.
“Sorry, sorry!” you clear your throat, your cheeks heating up at the comment, but luckily it’s dark enough to hide your embarrassment. Niall is always quick to make dirty jokes and tease you in a way that makes you nervous, especially when it involves Harry as well. He has made plenty of comments about you and Harry since you’ve moved in, implying that the two of you sometimes act like a couple or that you should hook up. Harry is always quick to shake them off, that’s how you know he couldn’t even take the thought seriously.
At the end of the movie you feel like it wasn’t bad, not with Harry holding you close at least.
“Will you be screaming tonight, Y/N?” Niall teases you, making you roll your eyes at him.
“Either way it’s gonna be your fault.”
“I can live with that!” he laughs, bidding his goodbye before he shuts the door of his bedroom behind him.
You do your usual evening routine, get ready to bed and by the time you’re done in the bathroom all the boys have retired into their rooms. The hallway stands dark in front of you, only a tiny bit of light coming from your bedroom since you left your bedside lamp on in there, but you still can’t help the eerie feeling that washes over you. That movie didn’t sit right with you and now you have to face the aftermath of it.
Switching the lights in the bathroom off you sprint into your bedroom, pictures from the movie flashing in your mind of the killer just jumping out of nowhere. You shut the door and lean your back against it for a moment, taking a deep breath. Tonight is going to be long.
No matter how hard you try, you just can’t fall asleep. You’re way too alerted, opening your eyes at the tiniest of sounds around you, which is unfortunate, because your window is looking over the main street, unlike two other rooms in the house, that are facing the small backyard. Harry and Louis have the luck to have those rooms.
Every time you’re about to fall asleep something from the movie sneaks into your thoughts and you get scared to death. Soon, you realize you won’t be able to sleep on your own tonight.
Sitting on the edge of your bed, you wonder if Harry really meant that offer that you can sleep with him or not. Part of you is convinced it was just a joke, but when you hear someone shouting down the street you push your doubts aside and you quickly find yourself making your way to Harry’s room.
You knock on the room lightly, not wanting to wake anyone else up. The last thing you need is Niall seeing you go into Harry’s room in the middle of the night.
No answer comes from inside, but you won’t just leave it at that. Opening the door you’re facing another dark room, barely making out the furniture, but you already know the route by heart. Making it to the bed your eyes finally adjust to the darkness and you can see Harry lying on his side, sleeping peacefully. Squatting down you place a hand to his shoulder and give him a tiny shake.
“Harry?” you call out quietly, but his answer is just a huff. “Harry, it’s me,” you try again, squeezing his arm. He furrows his eyebrows before slowly blinking his eyes open, finding you in his sight.
“Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks in that groggy, low voice you love hearing in the morning so much.
“I can’t… Did you mean that I can sleep here if I’m scared?” you ask, afraid that he might just have a good laugh and send you back to your room. For a long moment, he just blinks at you before nodding his head and you feel relief washing over you.
“Sure,” he hums.
“O-okay then I’ll bring a blanket and take the floor and--”
“Shut up, you are not sleeping on the floor,” he growls, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into bed with him as he scoots over, making you space on the mattress.
It’s a bit weird at first, lying in bed with Harry, especially because it’s just queen sized, so there’s not much space between the two of you, but it seems like Harry doesn’t mind it so why should you?
Your nerves are a lot calmer with Harry next to you, but maybe it’s still because of the movie or because you’re a bit anxious about the whole situation, you just still can’t relax enough to fall asleep.
“Y/N, no one is gonna kill you here,” Harry speaks up surprising you because you thought he has already fallen back asleep.
“I know, I know,” you whisper, trying to sound convincing, but you can’t fool anyone, especially not him.
He huffs deeply and before you could realize what’s happening, Harry’s arm is curled around your waist, pulling you against him, spooning you from behind, the warmth of his body wrapping your figure almost entirely.
“If a murderer comes, they will have to fight me first, alright? Now sleep,” he mumbles against your hair, squeezing you gently. All at once, you couldn’t care about killers and dark shadows around you, because Harry was right there, holding you tight and there was nowhere you wanted to be more than right there.
You slept like a baby. Harry’s closeness kept every nightmare away from you and the morning came with ease. Harry’s phone wakes the two of you up at eight, because he has a morning class at 9.30. The two of you are completely tangled up in each other, lying on your side facing each other, Harry’s arms are wrapped around you, while yours are hugging his waist. Groaning at the sound of his alarm, he rolls to his back to reach for the phone on the nightstand and then he finally turns it off. It’s bright outside, the darkness of the night finally long gone. You’re still groggy when Harry rolls back, his arm coming back around you like it’s the most natural thing in the world and in a sense, it feels like that. But as you both slowly wake up, you realize that you might be a little too close. Slowly but surely you let go of each other, rolling to your back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Hope I didn’t kick you in my sleep,” you smile at him, peeking over at him, hoping to break the awkwardness of the situation.
“No, don’t worry about it,” he chuckles, rubbing his eyes, before pushing himself up and off the bed. You follow him with your gaze as he steps to his dresser and grabs a pair of clean underwear. “I’ll put on a coffee while I shower, want one too?” he asks, though you know he could make one for you anyway.
“Sure, thank you,” you nod and he nods back, yawning as he walks out of the room, leaving you lying in his bed, a bit confused and kind of aching to be held by him again.
Two days pass by, everything is going as per usual, neither you nor Harry brings up that you spent the night in his bed that one particular time. Now it’s saturday and you all were planning to go out, but a sudden storm has cancelled your plans, so the evening turned into a cozy, lazy hangout instead of a wild party at some frat house.
Louis decided to work on a paper that’s due in two weeks, Niall has been relentlessly swiping on Tinder while you and Harry are spawled out on the couch, watching some shitty action movie that was on TV, since you both were too lazy to choose one and put it on. Deep down you’re a little happy you don’t have to spend the evening in a crowded, smelly house, drinking cheap alcohol.
Harry gets up from his seat to grab himself a drink just when Niall growls in annoyance.
“What is it?” you ask.
“They keep unmatching with me after we’ve talked a little!”
“Have you thought about the reason?” you smirk at him, knowing well that Niall probably isn’t the easiest to talk to, he surely takes it too far too soon.
“Well they probably don’t like that I ask them if I can go over,” he shrugs, making you laugh.
“You’d go over in the pouring rain?” Harry asks, returning to his spot on the couch. He puts his drink to the coffee table and instead of sitting into his previous position, leaning against the arm of the couch, he lies down, laying his head to your thigh, making your breath hitch for a moment.
“Of course not!” Niall rolls his eyes. “But I thought it would make them think I would do anything for them.”
“It makes you seem desperate,” Harry retorts, earning a questioning look from his friend. “What? It does!”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Yes it does,” you nod in agreement. “Going over in the middle of a storm just to fuck? Sounds like you’re having a hard time finding someone.”
“Women are so fucking complicated, and for what?!” he growls, before storming off to his bedroom, like an angsty teenager, leaving you and Harry alone.
He doesn’t move, his head stays on your thigh using it as a pillow. His curls are tickling the soft skin on your thigh and you have to fight the urge to play with his hair or scratch his scalp. You stay like this for the rest of the movie and when he gets up you almost want to pull him back.
“Alright, I’m fucked, I’m gonna go to bed,” he yawns, stretching his arms out into the air as he heads into his bedroom. “Good night, Y/N.”
“Night, Harry!” you call after him as you watch his frame disappear down the hallway.
Sighing, you slide down on the couch, cursing under your breath that you’re still so hung up on Harry. You really thought that you had it under control, but lately those damn butterflies are acting up in your stomach at everything he does.
“I’m pathetic,” you mumble under your breath just as the sky rumbles outside with a blinding lightning, making you jump with a squeak. “Shit,” you huff, already knowing that falling asleep will be a pain in the ass. Again.
You’ve always hated storms, they make you think that something bad is about to happen, a tree is about to fall into the window or a lightning will blow up the building. It’s kind of stupid, you know it, but you just can’t help it.
Tossing and turning, you jump every time a lightning flashes somewhere outside and a few seconds later the thunder rips through your whole body, almost making you fall off the bed.
“Oh God,” you let out a shaky breath. You have no idea how long it is until the Storm finally stops and you’d really like to have a good night's sleep. So pushing your anxious thoughts to the side, you get out of bed and head over to Harry’s room once again.
It’s such a deja vu from a few nights ago, as you gently knock on the door you wait again, but this time you actually get an answer.
“Yeah?” you hear him call out from inside and you slowly open the door, peeking your head inside. Harry is lying in bed, his head propped up against the headboard as he is scrolling through his phone. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks, putting the phone aside as he sits up.
“I just, I-I know it’s stupid, but I was thinking… I don’t know--”
“Y/N, just tell me, alright? Come on in,” he gestures for you and you slip into the room, closing the door behind you before sitting to the edge of the bed next to him. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t sleep during storms…” you admit, looking into his eyes, hoping he gets the hint where you want to head with it. He stares back at you for a moment before he scoots over, lifting the covers up, giving you the green light to join him.
Relieved, you climb over to him, making yourself comfortable as he wraps the blanket over you, his arm immediately coming to cradle you, this time pulling you to his chest so your head is laid upon his shoulder, a hand gently placed onto his hard chest, probably right above where his butterfly tattoo is adorning his abdomen.
This is now easily your favorite place. Safe and tight in Harry’s arms, protected from anything and everything, like you’re in a little bubble as soon as you get on his bed.
Lightning strikes outside again and you shiver a little. Harry probably notices it, because he tightens his hold around you, as if it’s his way telling you that he is here and nothing bad is gonna happen. Eventually, you’re able to shut the outside out and only focus on Harry’s warmth, the touch of his hand on your arm and his even breathing. And then finally, you drift off to sleep.
This morning is different from the previous one you spent here. There’s no alarm since it’s Sunday, neither of you have anything in particular to do, so you wake up feeling rested, the Sun shining through his half drawn in curtains, no trace of last night’s storm can be noticed from where you’re lying in bed, the sky is as clear as ever. Sometime during the night you got tangled in a way where Harry is the one now cuddling you, his head lying on your chest, hugging you as if you were a giant teddy bear, his leg thrown between yours, lightly snoring against your sleep shirt. You can only see his mop of hair and the urge to play with them is back, but this time, you give in.
Leaving one hand on his back, you move the other one to his unruly locks, gently playing with one before you comb your fingers through it, lightly scratching his scalp. Harry hums in pleasure, shifting from his dreams back to reality, but he doesn’t move, just keeps humming as you massage his scalp.
“It’s not a good morning, it’s the best,” he mumbles groggily, making you chuckle at his words.
One of his hands is flat against your ribcage and the damned butterflies start dancing when you feel his fingers gently stroke your side as you keep playing with his curls. This feels so idyllic, as if you’ve been like this forever. You wish that was true.
Groaning as he stretches, Harry rolls to his back, making you instantly miss his body pressed against yours. He rubs his eyes, sighing deep as he blinks up at the ceiling a few times, then he turns his head to the side, looking at you.
Just when he is about to say something, outside his door it sounds like someone just broke a pile of plates and it’s followed by Niall’s usual annoyed growl. You both get out of bed to go and check what happened, not even thinking about how it might appear that you both are coming from Harry’s room in the morning.
Harry flings the door open and there is Niall, collecting pieces of a plate from the floor, his breakfast scattered down the hallway as well while he curses under his breath.
“What happened?” Harry asks, picking up a bigger piece from the plate.
“Fucking tripped,” he growls back, glancing up just for a moment, then back down, but then he processes that you’re standing behind Harry, in his room, in the morning. “What the fuck are you doing in Harry’s room?” he bluntly asks, quickly forgetting about the mess he just made.
“What?” you ask nervously, your pulse quickening in an instant. Harry stands up, seemingly not too bothered by Niall’s question.
“You slept in his room?!”
“She did,” Harry answers, leaning against the doorframe.
“Wait, are you two fucking?” Niall’s eyes widen, snapping back and forth between you and Harry.
“Just because two people sleep in the same bed, doesn’t mean they are fucking, Niall,” Harry chuckles, seemingly amused by the situation that’s got your stomach knotted. Louis’ door opens and he walks out, his hair a little messy, but already dressed, a mug halfway filled with coffee in his hand.
“Wha’s this circus out here?” he asks, looking around, his eyes scanning over the mess on the floor.
“Did you know these two are fucking?” Niall asks him and Harry lets his head drop back at his words.
“Are you?” Louis simply questions and you shake your head no.
“We are not. Y/N can’t sleep in a storm so she came over to mine.”
“Funny, she doesn’t come to me when she’s scared,” Niall scoffs.
“I never came to you because you don’t understand that sleeping together doesn’t mean sex,” you retort, though your ears are practically burning from the rising anxiety inside you.
“Wait, whoa. This wasn’t the first time you two slept together?”
“She was scared after your stupid horror movie too,” Harry shrugs.
“Wow, so are you guys a thing now or what?”
“Niall!” Harry growls and you’re not entirely sure what bothers you more. Niall’s shock and interrogation or the way Harry seems so cool and unbothered, like it’s no big deal. Maybe because for him it really isn’t, it’s only about the sleeping, nothing else, even though the cuddles are a little beyond the lines of friendship.
“What? I’m just asking the important stuff! Am I not allowed to tell dirty jokes to Y/N because you’ll cut my prick off?”
“You shouldn’t tell those anyway,” Louis chimes in and you nod in agreement.
Seeing that the conversation is just getting more and more awkward with each passing moment you decide to pull yourself out of it. Pushing yourself past Harry you mumble an excuse me before rushing back into your room, the three boys eyeing you curiously as you shut the door behind you, finally putting a physical barrier between you and them.
You shouldn’t be this offended, it’s not like any promises were made and you should have known better and not fall for him more than you already did. It was silly of you to think that there was anything more behind these nights spent curled up against each other, or when you woke up tangled and melted together. It was never what you hoped it to be.
Then and there you decide it’s better if you distanced yourself from him, or at least go back to how it was before. No bed sharing, no cuddling and preferably no bitter feelings.
It all goes well, because you have a pretty busy week after that day, you always have something to do and it’s not like you spent the night with Harry randomly, so it was evident that you stayed in your room so far.
But about a week later another storm was threatening to strike. The sky was gradually darkening all afternoon and now it’s only five o’clock, but it feels like eight. It’s Sunday, you’re quite exhausted since you were working until three. Niall was out somewhere with some of his coursemates and Louis went home for the weekend, won’t be back until Tuesday. It’s just you and Harry, who’s been sprawled out on the couch in only his sweatpants while you’re making yourself an early dinner so you can go to bed soon and have a good night’s sleep.
It doesn’t take long for the rain to start pouring, you’ve just gotten out of the shower when the first thunder rips through the place, making you gasp in fear. Harry’s head snaps around, looking in your way where you’re standing at the bathroom door, a questioning look in his eyes, but he doesn’t say a word. Ignoring his gaze, you just make your way into your bedroom, not even thinking about what could be on his mind. Is he thinking about whether you’ll ask to sleep with him again or he doesn’t care about it at all?
By the time you are ready to go to bed, the storm is fully raging outside, making your insides tremble every time you see a lightning or the thunder breaks the quietness in the house. You make one last trip to the kitchen, finding Harry leaned against the counter as he eats an apple.
“Going to bed early?” he asks as you pour yourself some water.
“Mhm,” you nod, avoiding looking at him.
“Everything alright?”
“Sure, I’m just tired,” you force a small smile onto your face just when a thunder rumbles outside, making you jump. Harry is watching you curiously and kind of expectantly, but you’re doing your best ignoring it. Instead, you just grab your water and head back to your room. “Good night.”
“Night, Y/N,” he calls after you, and you can feel his burning gaze on your back right until you close the door behind you.
Your plan to sleep a good ten hours goes right out the window. It doesn’t seem like the storm is about to calm anytime soon, so you’re stuck to suffer through it on your own. You’ll be damned to go to Harry’s, that would be an instant heart break and you just can’t take that right now. Long, torturous hours pass by with you lying awake in bed and part of you wants to go running over to Harry, but you force yourself to stay. It’s not happening tonight.
You fall asleep sometime after two in the morning when the thunder and lightning have stopped. Unfortunately, you need to wake up early in the morning, so when your phone’s alarm shakes you out of your sleep, you feel like absolute shit. Dragging yourself out of bed appears to be the hardest thing right now. As you make your way out, you are met with an all too familiar figure sitting at the small dining table, two cups of coffees in front of him, one obviously made for you.
Harry’s eyes snap up at you curiously, taking in your terrible looks as you head to the bathroom.
“Morning,” you mumble under your breath.
“Good morning’,” he nods in your way and though he doesn’t say anything else, you can tell he has a few thoughts about your current state.
Once you’re done with your morning business in there you join him at the table, barely able to keep your eyes open.
“Rough night?” he asks, eyes examining your face.
“Kinda.”
“The storm?”
You don’t answer, just nod your head. He remains silent, but you can feel that he is dying to ask another question.
Why didn’t you come over?
You’re glad he doesn’t actually asks you, because you wouldn’t be able to give either a normal answer or say anything without starting to cry. Instead, you just grab your coffee and head back into your bedroom to get ready for the day.
That week on Friday all four of you are invited to a party. At first you want to cancel, but some of your friends from classes will be there too and it’s been ages since you’ve been to a great party, so you decide to tag along with the boys.
For the first half of the evening you go your separate way, spending time with people you don’t actually live with and see every day. One drink follows the other, though you make sure you don’t go farther than getting tipsy. You’re not in the mood to deal with a nasty hangover in the morning.
Sometime after your third or fourth drink you run into Niall and he pulls you into their little circle that also involves Harry. When he sees that you’ve joined them, his eyes light up and goes out of his way to get next to you.
“I haven’t seen you in ages!” he whines, slurring his words as he wraps an arm around your shoulders to keep you at his side. He is definitely drunk, that you’re sure of.
“It’s been just about two hours, Harry,” you roll your eyes, but can’t push your smile down. You’d be lying if you said you’re not enjoying having him so close. Your dynamic hasn’t been the same since you stopped sleeping in his bed. Not that it was such a regular activity, it only happened two times.
“But I missed you, I feel like we haven’t… haven’t talked in so long!” he huffs, knitting his eyebrows together. “Have you been avoiding me?” he asks leaning closer, so your conversation can somewhat be private.
“That’s silly. Of course I haven’t!”
“But it feels like that,” he pouts with glossy eyes. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”
“Sure,” you nod, the bitter taste of lying filling your mouth.
“Alright, cool,” he smirks and pulling closer he kisses into your hair before he engages with the rest of the group again, keeping his arm around you as if it wasn’t a big deal.
For the rest of the evening you simply don’t leave his side and not because he doesn’t let you, but because you don’t want to. Harry is not the only one missing the other, this week you’ve noticed that even though you’ve been keeping yourself busy, your thoughts always took you back to one particular, curly haired boy. Despite everything that’s been going on, he is your friend first and foremost who you love spending time with and talking about anything and everything.
Both of you are intoxicated, Harry a bit more than you, but you’re having a blast playing beerpong or ruining Niall’s chances with girls he is trying to pick up. You’re genuinely having an amazing time and it wouldn’t be the same without Harry.
Arriving back home your little group splits, everyone using the bathroom after the other and you’re the last one in line, because you always take the longest. By the time you’re finished, Louis and Niall are both locked up in their rooms, but Harry’s door is still open, some dim lighting illuminating the hallway. As you approach it, you find him throwing his dirty clothes into the hamper, but his head perks up when he sees you.
“Good night, H,” you sigh, quite tired and in need of a good sleep, but before you could head into your own bedroom, Harry grabs your wrist and pulls you into his. “What is it?”
“Sleep here,” he simply prompts, already leading you to the bed.
“Why?”
“Because I want you to.”
“I-I… I don’t--” you stutter, feeling flustered from his offer.
“Come on, you can’t say no,” he tells you, already crawling under his covers and then he holds them up as the invitation.
Taking a deep breath you follow him and make yourself comfortable in your almost usual spot. Harry’s arm falls over your waist in an instant, spooning you from behind as he hums pleased. But a few moments later he lifts his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.
“You know you can say no, right? I was just joking.” Looking back at him you give him a small smile. Even drunk he makes sure you aren’t doing anything you don’t want to, but how could you not want it? You’ve been aching to sleep next to him all week, especially after the last storm when you suffered alone in your room.
“I know, Harry.”
“Alright, okay,” he nods, his head dropping back to the pillow. “I missed this,” he mumbles with a sigh.
“Yeah?”
“Mm, sleeping alone sucks,” he hums and in a split second, your heart breaks.
Harry didn’t want to sleep with you, he just wanted to sleep with someone and you were the one there. It has nothing to do with you.
You want to blame him, you want it to be his fault that your chest is now aching, knowing that it truly doesn’t mean the same thing to him it does to you, but you know you can’t. It wouldn’t be fair, so once again, you’re left with a sinking heart wrapped up into Harry’s embrace that suddenly feels burning.
“Good night, Y/N.”
“Good night, Harry.”
When the morning comes Harry is still sleeping deep beside you, an arm thrown over your waist, puffing warm air against the side of your head with every breath he exhales. Seeing him so peaceful warms your heart, but then you realize everything that happened last night, how he only used you because you were available and not because he wanted you.
You don’t want to wait for him to wake up and face him, your emotions would surely bring the best out of you. So carefully, you unwrap yourself from his hold and sneak out of his room, back into yours.
There’s no way you can face Harry right now, so before he could wake up you leave, planning on spending the day in the library, working on your assignments, hoping the school work will take your mind off of how badly you’ve been friendzoned.
Sometime after eleven Harry actually texts you asking where you went and you just tell him you have a shitload of school stuff to deal with. He asks if he can join you, but you tell him you’re with a group of your classmates, even though you’re sitting in an almost entirely empty library. He luckily doesn’t push it and leaves you to be. Hopefully he’ll be fine when you take another step away from him for a while to get your head straight and sort your emotions out.
You get home quite late, but not late enough, apparently. Because walking into the house you find the boys clearly getting ready to watch a movie.
“Just in time!” Niall beams. “Join us, Princess!” he laughs, grabbing himself a cola from the fridge.
“Oh, no, I have some things to work on--”
“Come on, you’ve been in the library all day, you can have a break!” Louis tells you and you know you won’t be left alone, they are just so persistent.
So you join them in your usual spot, which is of course next to Harry, though you’re trying to avoid his gaze that hasn’t left you since you arrived and by now you’re certain he knows you’re avoiding him. There’s a reason why he asked you last night if you’ve been doing it lately, he is not stupid, but this is not the time to deal with it.
With your inner crisis bubbling inside you, you completely forget to ask what you’re watching. A few minutes into the movie it becomes quite clear however.
“Is this a fucking horror movie again?” you ask, snapping at Niall, who just starts laughing.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Harry will gladly let you sleep in his bed tonight,” he teases, making your whole face heat up at his comment. Harry slaps his chest before he turns to you with concern filled eyes, but you pretend like you see nothing, turning back to the screen with your jaw clenched.
You’re fucked.
The movie is a fucking shitshow and leaves you traumatized. When it’s over, you think about why didn’t you just stand up and go into your room when you realized it’s another horror. For a change, this one was filled with demons and monsters that hide in the shadows, just what you need before going to bed. In the night. In a totally dark room.
Exiting the bathroom you’re already planning on watching something lighthearted and cheerful in your room, hoping that would make you forget the movie you just saw and give you the chance to actually sleep.
Walking past Harry’s room you see that it’s still open and you catch him expectantly looking at you when you appear in the doorway as you walk down the hallway, your eyes meeting for just a split second before you disappear from his sight and shut your bedroom door without a word behind you.
No matter how many random videos you watch on YouTube, some scenes from the movie are just imprinted into your mind and they have you trembling in fear. Every shadow looks like a demon or ghost, hiding in your room, ready to haunt and kill you and you’re on the verge of actually crying. It might not be only because of the movie, more like everything else that’s been bottled up inside you, added to the fear the movie has brought to you.
Shutting your eyes closed you try to take deep breaths and for a bit it actually seems to help, but that is until you hear the door opening. It gives you an instant heart attack and you can’t keep your tears back anymore.
A whimper leaves your mouth as the door opens and you can only see a shadow entering the room, totally not recognizing Harry in the dark.
“Y/N, hey, it’s just me! It’s okay!” he quickly clears, seeing how shaken up you are. He rushes over to the bed, one hand cupping your cheek, the other one finding your hand and before you could think, you grip it hard.
“You scared the living hell out of me!” you cry out, sobbing.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to check on you.”
Silence sets between the two of you that’s only momentarily broken by your shaky breaths as you try to calm yourself down.
“Why didn’t you come to mine after the movie if you were so scared?” he then asks, surprising you with how straightforward he is.
“I didn’t want to bother you,” you mumble, blinking the remaining of the tears away as Harry stares down at you intently.
“Why would you think you’d bother me? I like having you there.”
“But it’s… Doesn’t matter,” you sigh in defeat, but it just concerns him even more.
“No, tell me!”
“Harry, just go back to your room. I’ll be fine.”
“You definitely won’t and I’m not leaving until you don’t tell me what’s going on,” he protests firmly and you lose your patience to keep lying to him.
“You just wanted someone to sleep with yesterday, okay? You didn’t need me. And… I don’t want to depend on you more than I should.”
Harry stares back at you with a blank expression and you feel like this is going to be the end of your friendship. You have to come clean about your feelings and he’ll tell you that he doesn’t feel the same way. But then he speaks up and the tables turn faster than ever.
“Y/N, I wanted you to sleep with me last night. Not just anyone. You.”
“What?”
“I really thought we have been on the same page, but apparently, we’re not even in the same book,” he sighs, confusing you even more. “Wasn’t it suspicious how things have been between us lately? The way we slept, the mornings, did you think these are normal things to do?”
“I-I thought that… it didn’t mean anything to you.”
“Well it did,” he replies and you breath hitches in your throat. “I was trying to take it slow, see how you’d react to everything and I thought you were feeling the same way. But then last time you didn’t come to my room when there was a storm and I thought that was your way of telling me that you want to pause whatever’s been going on.”
You’re just blinking in shock, listening to his words. This is nothing you expected.
“But then you seemed like you opened back up last night and you agreed to sleep with me, thought we were back on track, but then you were nowhere to be found in the morning, avoided me all day and now you would have rather spent the night crying here alone than to come over to me. What did I do? Just tell me, because quite frankly, I have no idea what we are doing anymore, Y/N,” he sighs, clearly tired of this insane game you’ve been playing without even knowing.
“So… you did all of this, because… you…”
“Because I like you, Y/N. But there’s a possibility it’s already way more than just a strong liking,” he admits with a soft chuckle that melts you in an instant.
“Oh god, I could cry again, but not out of fear this time,” you tell him, making him laugh as you scoot closer to him on the mattress. “I feel the same way, Harry,” you softly tell him, your hands finding the base of his neck while his hands have wandered to your waist so now he is pulling you towards him until he ends up in his lap. His face is now so close, and even in the dark, you can see the cheesy smile on his pink lips.
“You’re not saying this just to keep me here because you’re scared to be alone, right?” he asks, clearly joking, earning a wholehearted laugh from you.
“No, but I guess that would be a major benefit of it.”
“I’ll protect you from all the demons and killers under one condition,” he smirks, his face already inching closer, his nose is already touching yours.
“Yeah? And what’s that?”
“I get to kiss you.”
“Deal.”
You barely say this one little word, his lips are already on yours, kissing you in a way that almost knocks all the air out of your lungs. You press yourself up against him, his arms curling around you, holding you tight as if he is already protecting you from everything that scares you, though you can’t really think about the stupid horror movies now that you’re kissing Harry.
He pulls you down with himself making you lie on your back as he holds himself up above you, his lips parting from your just enough so he can look into your eyes.
“How about I kiss you every time you feel scared?” he prompts, pecking your lips gently as you pull your legs up and his hips settle between your thighs, while your hands dance down his back.
“Alright, I’m in,” you smirk at him and for a moment he just stares back at you, smiling wide, in complete awe that it’s finally happening. Then he cocks his head to the side before speaking up.
“Are you still scared?”
“Very,” you nod. “I’m shaking.”
“Good,” he grins before his lips press onto yours again.
Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!
#harry#styles#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles oneshot#harry styles oneshots#harry styles one shots#harry styles au#harry styles fluff#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic
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Have I told you I hate weak y/n’s that get pushed around by fangirls? No? Well, I hate them 😊
Let’s have Oikawa, Atsumu, Akaashi, Semi, and Terushima react to their normally calm gf, beat the dog shit out of a fangirl that tried to intimidate her for dating said men above. Reader just has a soft smile before cocking her fist back and boxing her shit before holding up the fangirl and looking to the rest like “You wanna end up like her? No? Then know your place~ ☺️”. Then she faces her bf with a sweet smile and says something affectionate like “I brought you lunch, dear. I made it just how you like it 😄” before kissing his cheek like she didn’t go Muhammad Ali on a bitch
<3
Oikawa Tooru<3
Oikawa’s had more than a few less than pleasant experiences with women
Considering he’s always been surrounded by them, from his sister's friends in middle school and being swarmed by them in High school and college- having women around him was nothing new
And for the most part, they were all pleasant
Giving him little gifts and food- that he always gave to you- and just telling him how much they loved watching him play
All things he can deal with before talking to his favorite girl, you
Though, there have been instances of some bold woman who just never get the hint
Whether it be drunkenness or some weird dream of having Oikawa to herself or just blatant disregard of his relationship
And right now just happens to be one of those times- but now you got a firsthand view of the madness.
Whoever this was clearly didn't understand relationships or personal space for that matter
She had a hand on his chest and was just blubbering about how she would be the best wife for him and would make life so much easier- much more than you do for him- and that was just what you saw from the ten seconds you were in earshot
He would normally laugh it offend continue seeking out autographs but he seemed to be locked in an iron maiden
“I promise! Forget about your girlfriend, she’s useless anyways!” and finally a perfect chance to make yourself known
“Tooru, I have your lun-” you attempted to grab him away, him shooting a pleading look to save him before your wrist was snatched from his arm and tugged away and shoved to the side then pushing your body away from the two
“Back off bitch!”
Now, you were normally a pretty calm person, you knew how to deal with the women and you have been for years.
But you stand by the fact that it was never ok to put your hands on someone- no matter the situation.
But at that moment, you could care less about your silly reparations and breathing methods, that lady put a hand on you and pushed you
You could hear Tooru telling her to keep her hands off you but you just looked around and made sure that everyone saw what had happened, you don't need to be arrested anytime soon
Grabber her arm you detached her from your boyfriends and in the next second your fist was connecting with her face, watching her wither on the floor you turn to your boyfriend who’s now coming towards you
“As I was saying, I have your lunch.”
Atsumu Miya<3
Another guy who’s constantly surrounded by women
Although he is far less appreciative and nice to them, and he makes it a point to be abundantly clear that you are the only woman he will spend the rest of his life with
Something that wasn't too popular with a few specific fans
Every blue moon someone will find his phone number and blow it up with loving messages or try and get his address
The worst it’s been was someone finding his apartment number and thankfully being too far away to come by themselves but they did send some inappropriate images to his PO box and that led him to create an even thinker line between fans and himself
Thankful, the whole of them understood and respected his boundaries
Buuuuut there are always people who go the extra step
Like whoever this is crowding your boyfriend after a win against the Alders with a giant poster of him and a …. Thong
If you were the slightest more stoic you would have held in the laugh that started it all but it seems crazy is crazy no matter how you provoke them
That lady heard you laugh and the flood gates opened, in a split second her hand was on your cheek then she was on the floor holding what you could hope was a broken jaw
You didn't even realize you punched her until a shooting pain went up your wrist
Though before you had a chance to return to your lovely boyfriend, who was standing in the same spot shell shocked (and slightly turned on) hand grabbed your ankle the flung you to the ground
It was, for lack of a better term, a catfight
She was hitting you and you were hitting her and she was screaming random shit about how awful you were to her precious Atsumu- seriously this lady was insane
Nevertheless, security arrived, and let’s just say that you were in much better condition than she was, who knew you could fight so well?
Though you weren't allowed to come to the next game and had to apologize to the heads of the Volleyball association, Tsumu was proud of you and the internet was on your side- so it was kind of a win-win
Akaashi Keiji<3
He surprisingly doesn't have a swarm of fangirls around him
But it’s much much worse, you’d rather have a mob of girls around him than the four specific psychos that never leave the poor guy alone
Everywhere in school at least one of them is watching the two of you, in class, at lunch- no matter where you try and eat- you swear you even saw one at the boba show you pass on your walk home with him
The worst part?
He thinks it’s funny.
It is hilarious to him that you try so hard to keep them away full knowing he would never leave you for the likes of them. It’s just too cute how you puff up your cheeks and huff about them and honestly, it's a breath of fresh air considering how much everyone kisses up to him
Well- he likes it when they are at a distance
On the off chance they get close to him, it's a different story. They truly are intolerable, and they away try bad-mouthing you to him like it was supposed to mean something that they don't like you
And they only ever do it when you’re away- cowards they truly are. And since they’re always watching, as soon as you left to buy the two of you lunch, one of them was on him in an instant
She was annoying and all she could say was ho you were a ‘poison’ in his life and he had to leave you as soon as possible
He didn't even realize you were there until a hand grabbed the back of her uniform and flung her off him. And from the looks of it, falling on the ground really hurt
“I’m a poison? That’s all you could come up with?”
You didn't even have to say another word, she was already out of sight
Not missing a beat, you handed him his lunch and started talking about the latest episode of the volleyball anime you loved.
Semi Eita<3
First off- a total power couple
Not only are you willing to beat a bitch, but he’s also ready to hype you up while you do it
It’s not confirmed you have, but there are rumors that you fought more than a few girls who were less than pleasant. And it’s not like you do anything for rumor control, you just laugh and turn the other way
Still, even with the rumor mill running rampant, some girls still try and shoot their shot
But this girl has to be the boldest woman on planet earth
Not only was she flirting with an openly taken man, but she was flirting with him as he held his arm around your waist. She even looked at you as she spoke to him, the audacity of people these days
“You like music? That’s crazy, I do too!” you wanted her to shut the fuck up as soon as possible.
What pissed you off more was that he knew exactly what he was doing, and he was letting it happen to spite you.
What happened after this you blame solely on the alcohol the party was providing and not on the fact you wanted to clock this girl the moment you saw her
It was just that suddenly your drink was in her face
Then her drink was in her face, and she was running to the bathroom, maybe she should listen to rumors more often because you don't think strawberry daiquiri will come out of a white crop too so easily
Terushima Yuji<3
He’s an ass
But he’s your ass, somehow
He’s a manwhore and an attention-whore, mix that should have been shot before it could grow into something more
By now you're used to the girls slipping him their numbers and hitting him up on every social media site possible and you remain happy to say he doesn't respond- probably too busy dicking you down to care about any of them
Plus, less than 1% of them actually approach them in public, and they just happen to be the most insufferable people on the planet.
Desperation doesn't even describe it
Of that 1%, at least half of them try to touch him, running a hand on his arm, tugging at his clothes, maybe even a strand of his hair, all you can deal with because he knows what’ll happen if he even entertains their advances
But for some reason, the only thing that sets you off is when they mention the tongue piercing.
It invokes a rage unknown within you, the second the metal ball’s mentioned you see red. And he fucking loves it, you could be three prefectures over and the second the girl mentions it, you magically appear at his side like you’d been there the whole time
All of a sudden you’re all over him, disregarding this girls words as she tries to bring the conversation back to her, going as far as grabbing your shoulder, and since she touched you first- you had the green light
Your arm pulled back and your fist connected to her cheek
And like nothing ever happened you turned back to the blond
tags: @diamond-3 @rinsangel @heyheyitsne @angelalje @monisi @crystal-lilac @sadpotato10
#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#oikawa tooru x reader#oikawa smut#atsumu miya#atsumu x reader#atsumu miya x reader#atsumu smut#akaashi x reader#akaashi keji x reader#akaashi keiji#akaashi smut#semi eita x reader#semi eita#semi x reader#semi smut#terushima yuji x reader#terushima x reader#terushima smut#terushima yuuji#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu smut#hq x reader
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I loved your fem lwj take on things. How would thibgs go if WWX was the lady? Other than ppl assuming she stood up for the Wens bcs she jad feelings for WN ( and that Yuan was hers)
Heyyy friend, I think I’ve seen a couple of girl!wwx fics floating around in ao3 so i certainly won’t be the first :P.
Also I completely misread your ask initially, I thought you were asking me what I think would happen if A-Yuan was WWX’s kid, and I was like oh?? But then I realize wait... I can make it worse.
Today, I decided that my mortal soul doesn’t matter, so here we go. Let’s see how accursed I can make this idea:
[1]
It started with Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Wanyin had set out for the Burial Mount with the explicit goal of throttling speaking with Wei Wuxian, but what greeted him at the entrance of the “Demon Subduing Palace” — more of a cave than anything really — was not his martial sister, but Wen Ning. Well, what had once been Wen Ning.
Black veins ran across his pale, ashen face, down his equally ashen neck , and into the major veins beneath his clavicles covered by the collars of his black threadbare robes. Lifeless eyes, white as his skin, stared into a void the living could not see. There were talismans littering his body, and Jiang Cheng knew that when he spoke to this fierce corpse, he was not speaking to the young Wen boy, but to his mistress who controlled him with her demonic cultivation.
Wei Wuxian refused to face him. Refused him explanation. Refused him closure.
“Er-jie!” Jiang Cheng screamed into the stony expressionless face of Wen Qionglin. “If you continue to protect them, then I can’t protect you!!”
There was no response.
Suddenly, just as Jiang Cheng was about to kick and fight his way into the cave, Wen Ning thrusted out his right fist, and in his grasp was a piece of purple silk. Jiang Cheng unfolded the silk, vaguely recognizing that it had been cut from someone’s robe, and saw what was wrapped within was a slip of parchment.
割袍断义*, the paper read. Tell the world that I, Wei Wuxian, first disciple of Yunmeng Jiang has forever defected (Note: 割袍断义- to rip one's robe as a sign of repudiating a sworn brotherhood (idiom)).
With this, there was nothing left to say. Hurt and furious, Jiang Wanyin threw the piece of parchment onto the dirt ground, grinded his heel down on it, and left the Burial Mount without ever having drawn Sandu.
Inside the cave, Wen Qing held Wei Wuxian’s hand. “Why won’t you just tell him? He’s your brother; he can help you, you can —”
Wei Wuxian’s mile long stare seemed to be gazing at something — someone — very far away. Slowly, she placed her other palm over her belly, which horrifically was already starting to round out. “Nobody can help me now, Qing-jie.”
“I can,” said Wen Qing, blunt as ever. “I can make it go away, if you want.”
“No.” A droplet of tear escaped pass long lashes. “No.”
[2]
It continued with Jiang Cheng.
On a snowy night, the first winter after Wei Wuxian escaped with the Wen remnants to the Burial Mount, Jiang Cheng was rudely awakened from his slumber by a less-than-stealthy intruder breaking and entering into his bed chamber.
Zidian whipped through the air, lighting the room with her eerie violet glow, before the intruder could think to take one more step. It was a man, judging from his silhouette colliding against the wall and the pained groan he made in response. The very next second, the tail of Zidian coiled tightly around his neck and dragged him across the floor towards beneath Jiang Cheng’s waiting foot.
The Sect Master of Yunmeng Jiang summoned Sandu, ready to deliver the final strike, but just as his blade sailed towards the intruder’s chest, a pale arm jutted upwards, blocking Sandu’s descent and revealing a pale hand holding a … a...
Even in the dark, Jiang Cheng immediately recognized the mahogany comb.
“Jiang — ! Zongzhu —!” The man croaked out urgently, throat still stomped on by Jiang Cheng’s foot. It was - it was Wen Ning?!
Jiang Cheng looked him over. He was pale, yes, but his eyes appeared human. His hair was brushed and haphazardly done up in a farmer’s top knot. He was wearing farmer’s clothing too, probably more inconspicuous for travel than his Ghost General getup.
“Jiang-zongzhu! P—please!!”
No, impossible.
“Wei — Wei-guniang—”
Jiang Cheng lifted his foot and dragged Wen Ning up in a split second. “What’s wrong with Wei Wuxian?!”
Wen Ning coughed and shook his head desperately. “No time to explain. My sister asked me to fetch you. Please, you have to come! Wei-guniang’s life is in danger! If you won’t come, I’ll...I’ll have to go to Gusu, and I don’t know if - if -”
Jiang Cheng followed Wen Ning.
For speed, they travelled by sword, but even so, dawn was breaking by the time they arrived. The crowd of Burial Mount’s villagers huddling anxiously outside of the Demon Subduing Palace parted for them upon their arrival. Jiang Cheng took a moment to gather himself and square his shoulders. Whatever it was; he was ready.
He was wrong. None of the dozens of scenario he had agonized over on the flight here could have prepared him for what awaited him inside.
Wen Qing, pale and drenched in sweat, was near complete spiritual collapse, and without Wen Qing’s spiritual energy sustaining her, the single tenuous thread by which Wei Wuxian’s life hung on would have undoubtedly snapped under the toil and devastation her body had been put through.
There was so much blood, so, so much blood everywhere, and amidst the blood, there was a baby.
Fuck.
Jiang Cheng transfused his sister half of his total spiritual reserve over the course of a day, while an exhausted but unrelenting Wen Qing worked diligently under blood-soaked sheets.
Then at dusk, when the storm finally passed, Jiang Cheng sat at the mouth of the cave with a tiny, perfect little human — a girl, a niece! — in his arms and cursed Lan Wangji’s name.
Wen Qing was extremely clear with them: 孩子要是留在这里，养不活。
If the newborn was left to be raised at the Burial Mount, she would not live. And so, because parting was inevitable from the start, Wei Wuxian adamantly refused to hold or nurse the child. Her child.
I can’t. If I do, I won’t be able to let her go. Those dark eyes burned with more than just the delirium of her childbed fever. For once, Jiang Cheng could not find it in himself to argue.
Thus, he took his niece home and named her Jiang Yan 江曕. The name was not his doing. His foolish, misguided, stubborn sister had stroked her daughter’s soft, baby cheek and whispered it to her as a farewell gift.
Yan - to be bathed in daylight. In the end, when given a choice, Wei Wuxian still opted for her child to walk on broad sunny road.
It made Jiang Cheng wonder why, then, she would choose the dark twisted path for herself instead.
[3]
It ended with Jiang Cheng.
The truth was simple: Jiang Wanyin killed his shijie Wei Wuxian. He did. He meant to.
He killed her. But that did not mean he wanted her dead.
In one day, he had lost both of his sisters, leaving two orphans in their wake. Jiang Cheng could not ignore the cruel irony of their fate: one’s father murdered by his aunt, and other’s mother murdered by her uncle.
This was the kind of tragedy fairytales were made of, and if there were anything left in him to shed tears over it, he would. Standing amongst Nevernight’s carnage, he could not dredge up even a single drop of tear.
Jiang Cheng didn’t know how he could return home to Lotus Pier to face that cherub face, always so happy, so sweet, so utterly untainted by the world. She had her mother’s smile. Yan'er was starting to learn how to speak. Her first words were da-da.
Da-da. Die-die. Father.
He was standing beside her father now.
Lan Wangji. Devastated. Destroyed. …Deceived.
Jiang Cheng hated him so much, so fucking much that for one insane second, he thought about telling Lan Wangji the truth just to see what would happen. Maybe he would run Jiang Cheng through with his Bichen - that would be a relief now, wouldn’t it? - or maybe he would jump after Wei Wuxian.
Truly, if he knew, he would. Jump, that is. Jiang Cheng was almost entirely sure. Oh the utter melodrama that would inspire indeed!
But then...
Wei Ying birthed you a daughter, a lovely, perfect, blessed little girl, and she carried that secret to her grave. I may be damned by my actions, but you, who have done nothing for her and taken everything, why should you deserve something as sacred as the truth?
Jiang Cheng turned away.
He was acutely aware that one day Jiang Yan may very well be the literal death of him. After all — 杀母之仇不共戴天 — one cannot tolerate living under the same sky as the murderer of one’s mother.
Be that as it may, he would raise Jiang Yan well, just as he promised. Unlike his sister, he would not break his word. Jiang Yan was of Lotus Pier, of Yunmeng, like her mother and grandfather before her. That for him, was enough.
Jiang Cheng clutched Sandu and gripped Zidian. Whatever his fate, he already made peace with it, and the rest was inconsequential.
One day, he may die, but today he lives, and so as long as he lives, Jiang Yan and all of Yunmeng Jiang will be protected . So as long as he lives, they will flourish.
[...and in between]
On the streets of Yiling, Lan Wangji tilted his head inquisitively at Wei Wuxian and the little boy at her side and asked, “This child, he...”
In response, Wei Wuxian patted her chest in a self-declarative kind of way and announced, “Oh this child, I birthed him!”
He stared at her in shell-shocked silence, his mind racing with panicked thoughts of but that’s impossible — that was just once — even if — the boy is too old to be —
“怎么，蓝湛，不要我们娘儿俩了？” What, Lan Zhan, you don’t want the child and I?
“Wei— Wei Ying—”
Then of course, she had laughed, and Lan Wangji thought no more of it.
Just a joke. A silly joke.
In time, he would come to realize his mistake.
~~~
[A/N]: I’m not even a little bit sorry.
#cql#the untamed#wangxian#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#wen qing#wen ning#what the fuck am I doing you ask???#i don't know#okay#i really don't know#i am nhs#i haven't come up with the bebe's courtesy name yet lol#i am the national health services#midnightlighthowlite#corie replies#corie fics#cql ficlet#lanyan#midnight sun#ly1
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"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.
Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;
Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;
Word count: 4.5k;
[ Part 2 ];
"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.
Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.
She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.
"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.
Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.
Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.
And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.
Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.
Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.
Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.
"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.
"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."
"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.
"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."
"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.
With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"
"Woah—" that surprised her.
"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.
Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.
"He comes here from time to time—" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.
Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.
"How even—"
"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"
"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.
"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"
"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.
"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.
"Don't make fun of me."
"You say it too~"
"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.
"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.
"Of course. Which reminds me—!"
"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.
She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.
"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"
Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.
—
Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.
Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.
Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.
"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.
Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.
It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.
"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.
"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.
"What!? Who?!" Confusion.
"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.
"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.
"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.
"Is that Midori?" Surprise.
"The nerve—" Anger.
"Midori from—" Disbelief.
"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.
He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.
Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.
There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.
"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"
He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.
"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.
"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.
"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."
Another set of gasps filled the room.
"Bakugou!"
One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.
Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.
"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.
"He's such a brute."
"What a mean guy—"
"She's crying!"
"Fucking asshole."
He gritted his teeth.
After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.
"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.
"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.
And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.
And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.
Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.
—
With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.
It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.
He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.
"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.
"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.
Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.
You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.
"Heard you were talkin' shit."
Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.
He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.
Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.
"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.
"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.
"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.
"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"
"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.
"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.
"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.
Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—
"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"
A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.
"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.
Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.
"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"
"I—... Say what now?"
"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"
No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."
Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.
"Or what?"
"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.
"Hey, extra!"
Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—
"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.
"What's it to you?"
Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?
You scoffed.
"They're scratches, dude."
"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.
Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.
"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.
"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.
Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?
—
A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.
And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—
"You. Sit."
Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.
You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.
"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.
Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.
"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.
"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"
You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.
Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.
"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.
A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.
Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—
"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.
You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.
Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—
Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—
How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...
"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.
But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—
"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.
"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.
"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"
"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.
You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.
"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.
"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"
"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."
"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"
"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.
Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.
Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!
#bakugou katsuki x reader#bnha#noire writes#bakugou x reader#bnha x reader#i just wanted to make myself uwu#reader is op
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The Break of Dawn (Leo Barnes x f!Reader)
You work in a small diner not far from the bus station and try to get over a tragic event that happened to you three years ago. Leo Barnes is one of the steady customers, and at some point you realize there's mutual attraction between the two of you. There's no time for romance though - only one night left before the annual Purge, and Leo has an important job to keep Senator Roan safe as it's the only chance to finally put an end to the Purge.
Words: 3 656
Warnings: Sexual content (not super detailed, I would rate this story as Mature rather than Explicit, but still they f*ck), a bit of angst (trigger warning: loss), but Leo is a caring and protective guy who’s ready to hold you
A/N: My first time writing Leo Barnes or any Frank Grillo character, so please don't be mean :))
Taglist: @sweetfictionalworld, @skvatnavle, @lunamoon-87
“There he is.”
Stella pokes you with her elbow.
“What?”
“Your tough guy. He’s here,” she nods to the corner of the diner and you don’t even need to follow her gesture to know that Leo Barnes is sitting there, his usual spot. He’s a bit early today, and it’s understandable - you too find it harder to sleep well as the Purge is getting closer.
“He’s not my tough guy, Stells,” you roll your eyes.
“Oh yeah? Tell it to someone else,” she snorts. “So far I’m just wondering how long you’re gonna keep ignoring that sexual tension…”
“Stella, please.”
“What? Honestly, I don’t know why he’s being such a gentleman… But just FYI, y/n… You know it’s not the 19th century and you actually can make the first move?”
“Even if I wanted to, it’s not the right time,” you shrug. “You know he’s doing an important job. He’s got plenty of stuff to think about and it’s definitely not romance.”
“Who’s talking about romance, sis?” Stella laughs. “You’re both so goddamn tense, you need to blow off some steam. No, seriously. You need to get laid. He needs to get laid. It’s just way too obvious!”
“Oh dear god, just please shut up…” you groan.
“Fine,” she gives you a wicked smirk. “If you don’t want him, then I’m bringing his order.”
You chuckle at this.
“Don’t you dare.”
To be completely honest, you can’t deny that Stella is partly right. There is something between you and this grumpy silent man in the corner. But what exactly? You can’t really put it into words, it’s not just the attraction, or sexual tension as Stella says. You do find him handsome though, you admit that. A couple of times when he was wearing a t-shirt, you caught yourself staring at his muscular arms. Yes, guilty. And still… There’s more than that. You’d call it some sort of mutual understanding.
Leo Barnes works for Senator Roan. In the past, he used to be a cop, now he is the head of security for her. You learnt that one night when he was here, having his usual late dinner. The TV was on, evening news, something about the election of course. And suddenly you noticed him there, standing behind Roan’s back with another guy in a formal dark suit. You blinked, stared at the screen, then looked back at him. He caught your glance.
“Is that… you?” you blurted, realizing too late that you said it out loud. But he smiled, and in his smile there was no anger or annoyance.
“Apparently so,” he replied with a soft chuckle and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “How do I look?”
You started talking ever since then. Barnes usually came to the diner twice - in the morning he just had a mug of black coffee, and in the evening he ordered something to eat. Mornings were often crowded as many people passed the diner before heading to work in the city, so you were busy. But the evenings were mostly quiet.
You often stayed at work late, covering Stella who had to run to her kids or another date. You didn’t mind that since work was always your way to escape. Nobody was waiting for you at home anyways. Somehow, Leo Barnes started to keep you company. He wasn’t much of a talker and you were never into heartfelt conversations with the clients here, but something just clicked. Especially after you learnt about his job and it became clear that your views on the Purge are the same.
Many people hate The Purge, as well as many people support it. Some people hate it because they’re scared for their loved ones, their business (small shop owners who don’t have enough money to afford the Purge insurance often suffer), or they hate it just because they’re against violence in general. And the others… They have more personal reasons. You’re one of them. And somehow, even if you don’t know for sure, you just feel like Leo Barnes has personal reasons as well. He never really told you, and you don’t dare to ask because you know well enough how the memories can hurt. You didn’t tell him either. But still, you don’t know how exactly it worked, you just looked at each other and saw it. It’s like an unspoken secret between the two of you. The details don’t matter anyway. Your stories are in the past and you can’t change it, but what you can change is the future. If Senator Charlene Roan wins the election - the Purge will finally end. You can help with your vote, and Leo… Leo is determined to do anything to help her survive this year. Just this year, and hopefully no one would ever have to survive this nightmare again. You both want it more than anything else.
“Hey.”
You smile at Leo as you place a mug of coffee and a plate on the table in front of him.
“Hey…” he looks confused when he sees the food. Nothing really special: eggs, bacon, some beans and a toast. “What’s that? I... only asked for the usual…”
“Just thought you might need some extra fuel,” you shug. “Only one night left before the Purge, so… you must have a lot of work to do.”
“Yeah, you’re right… I actually do,” he gives you a tired smile. “Thank you.”
“Welcome,” you nod and turn to leave, but Leo suddenly touches your arm and you freeze.
“Y/n?”
“Yeah?” you face him again.
“Do you work tomorrow?”
“Yes… Why are you asking?..” you give him a puzzled look.
“Well uh… To be honest I’d be happier if you took a day off… You know, just to make sure you’re safe…”
You feel the heat on your cheeks. Does… does he worry about you?.. The realization makes your heart shrink for a second. Apparently he’s not just someone who understands, he’s someone who cares. You already forgot what it feels like when someone really cares. Well, of course there are your parents, but they’re far away… And Leo, he’s right here.
“It’s okay,” you say, trying not to look too baffled. “Tomorrow we’re closing the diner earlier, right after lunchtime, so I’ll be home long before the Purge begins. There’s no need to worry, really.”
“Good,” Barnes nods. “I just… don’t think I’ll be able to come over and check on you tomorrow, so I just…” he stutters as if trying to figure out something to say.
“I just want you to be careful, okay?” he finally utters, and to your surprise his hand reaches yours, squeezing it lightly. “Just be careful, yeah?”
“Yeah, I... Of course I will,” you try to smile reassuringly. “I promise.”
*
There’s about five minutes left before closing hour when Leo appears. As usual, you’re still here, helping Mary, the chief and the owner’s wife with all the cleaning up after the working day. While she’s in the kitchen, you wipe the tables, TV-set is murmuring something in the corner. The election, the purge… Always the same.
“You’re closed?” he asks, meeting your gaze. “Sorry, I… Didn’t realize it’s that late already…”
“We’re about to close, but it’s fine, come in!” you assure smiling at him maybe a bit more brightly than you wanted to show. “We’ll get you something to eat, right, Mary?”
“Sure thing,” she replies from the kitchen door. You weren’t the only one who saw Barnes on TV. Since then, he became an always welcome guest as the diner owners supported Roan as well. Otherwise, to be honest you don’t think you could possibly be able to work for them.
You put a plate with food in front Leo as he takes a seat at the counter. While he’s eating silently, you wipe the coffee mugs and place them carefully on the shelf. The TV keeps talking. Something about the bloomimg economy and international murder tourists who keep coming to the US to take part in the annual Purge. You glance at the screen, see their gut-wrenchingly excited faces.
“Jesus Christ,” you mutter under your breath and shake your head. “Fucking insane.”
“True,” you nearly jump at his words, as you didn’t realize Leo heard you. “I knew people who killed someone on Purge night for… different reasons. But those who kill just because they enjoy it, for fun or sport or whatever you call it - those are the most dangerous.”
“They’re just psychopaths. People like that should be kept in mental hospitals or something. But they just walk around as if nothing’s wrong with them. And the new founding fathers keep telling them how proud they are of them…”
“Roan’s gonna make it stop,” Mary joins the conversation. “This lady’s got some balls, am I right, sir?”
“Yes ma’am,” Barnes chuckles. “She absolutely got them.”
You leave the diner together with Leo. Mary chose to stay inside, waiting for her husband to come pick her up in a few minutes. The night is a bit chilly; you’re shivering, not sure if it’s the cold or the fact that you’re alone with him for the first time.
“Where’s your car?” he asks.
“Oh um… It’s in the service actually. So I’m going to the bus station right over there,” you point. Barnes frowns.
“What about tomorrow?”
“Stella promised to give me a ride home. Leo… I’ll be okay. It’s not the first Purge night in my life, you know.”
“Right,” he clears his throat. “Anyway, since I’m here I can drive you home.”
“You… sure it’s okay?” your voice betrays you a little. “I mean you must be tired…”
“I’m okay,” he assures, then nods at his car. “Come on. I insist.”
“Okay,” you hear yourself saying.
*
You’re mostly silent on the way. You feel a bit tense, but also kinda… weirdly excited to be in this car, next to him. Damn. Is Stella right, and you’re actually into him? Definitely so. But after all these years you almost completely forgot how it feels - to be into someone or how the relationships work. As if you’re a teenager again. Leo Barnes is the first man who actually made you think of something close to romantic longing since… That night.
“It’s here?” he asks as you reach your house. You nod, and he pulls over. You wait for him to say something, to tell you goodnight maybe, but he doesn’t. Without the sound of the car engine, the silence between you becomes even more awkward. You open your mouth to say goodbye to him, but instead different words suddenly come out.
“Leo, I…”
He looks at you intently. You stare down at your knees.
“Yeah?”
“I just… The fact that you worry about me - it’s very nice of you, really. And… I just wanted you to know that I worry about you too. I worry about you a lot actually…”
“Y/n…” his voice is quiet as he brings his hand to your face, gently urging you to look up at him. His eyes look darker than usual in the dim light of the street lamp nearby. You think if it’s possible to drown in someone’s eyes you’d already be gone.
“I’ll be fine, okay?” he says softly. “It’s gonna be a tough night for sure, but I’ll be fine, I have to be fine. You gotta trust me on this. You trust me?”
“Yes,” you barely whisper, unable to take your eyes from his, and when the tension becomes almost unbearable, his lips finally crush on yours.
You both expected and didn’t expect it, didn’t dare to admit even to yourself how much you really wanted it. Your breath hitches somewhere in your throat as you kiss him back eagerly, forgetting about everything and everyone for this moment that lasts so long and so painfully short at once. You’re both panting as your lips part, foreheads pressed together.
“I… I think I should go,” you mumble as a rush of panic suddenly overwhelms you.
“Yeah… Yeah…” he nods. “You should get some rest.”
“You too.”
You squeeze his hand for a second. Gosh, you didn’t even realize your hand was on his all this time.
“Good night,” you finally murmur, bracing yourself to get out of the car. You feel like something else needs to be said, but can’t really figure out what.
*
You enter the house and just lean against the door, heart hammering wildly inside your chest. You close your eyes and try to catch your breath. What the hell just happened? And why are you reacting like that? There’s nothing wrong about this kiss. You’re two single adults… Well, probably single. Leo doesn’t wear a ring, so… Damn it, you really got out of practice when it comes to relationships.
A knock on the door made your eyes snap open. As if in a daze, you slowly turn and reach the door handle, already knowing who you’re going to see.
Leo doesn’t say anything. And you can’t read the expression in his eyes, or you simply don’t have time for it, because the next moment he steps inside, his hands cup your cheeks and he kisses you with such longing and desperation it nearly kicks the breath out of your lungs. You don’t know what you’re doing any more, but your fingers are already in his dark hair, scratching the nape of his neck while his lips and tongue keep attacking your mouth. It feels like shockwaves running through your body, and for the first time in years you feel just so alive. All this time your feelings, passions and emotions were asleep, everything around you seemed pale and lifeless as if someone turned down the contrast, but something changed. Not right now, not in the snap of a finger, of course; it happened gradually. Something kept changing deep within you since the very first time your eyes met, and now - you’re finally ready to feel something. To let him in.
You don't think about it though. Or about anything else, to be honest. All you can focus on is what his lips are doing to you, how hot his breath is and how weirdly nice his stubble feels against your skin. Leo’s coat falls on the floor. His big hands seize your waist as he lifts you up, causing you to grip onto his broad shoulders. Pressing you against the nearest wall, he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, the kisses are sloppy, open-mouthed, and you can't suppress a soft moan. He's big and strong, you feel small underneath him, but you like it.
You can’t even remember clearly how you finally reached the bedroom, frantically helping each other to get rid of the clothes. When you tumble down and he hovers over you, the skin to skin contact is overwhelming. He brushes your hair away from your flushed face, kisses you with sudden tenderness. The look in his hazel eyes is warm yet still full of passion as you cup his cheek and he presses his lips to your palm. An affectionate gesture that makes your heart skip a beat, but you both are too impatient to be soft right now. So he leans in, kissing you harder this time, grunting against your mouth when you pull him closer, craving as much of him as possible. You can feel him twitching against your lower belly as you wrap your legs around him, eager to get more pressure. He’s not even inside you yet, but it already feels so good you can’t help bucking your hips, earning a low groan from him at the friction. His lips trail along your jawline, down to the side of your neck, where he kisses and nibbles, and you just know there’s gonna be marks tomorrow, but damn, you can’t care less.
When he finally enters you and starts moving, you’re almost delirious. Clinging to him, you gasp and whisper his name into his skin, feel the muscles on his back tense as he thrusts deeper. The wave of bliss hits you so hard your vision turns blurry and for a few seconds it feels like you’re not there.
*
Reality comes back to you slowly, with all the dark and troubled thoughts you can’t escape. Leo is lying next to you with his eyes closed, breathing evenly, so you think he must be asleep. Good for him. Carefully, you slip out of the bed to get a glass of water. It doesn’t help you to get rid of the lump in your throat though. Back to the bedroom, you sit on the edge of the bed and let out a deep sigh, trying to fight back tears. Too many emotions for one night.
“Y/n.”
Leo’s voice doesn’t even seem sleepy. You can feel him shifting in bed to reach you, the warmth of his calloused hand stroking your back soothingly.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, uh…” You shake your head, bringing your hand to rub your eyes. “I’m good. It’s just… It’s been a while since I… You know…”
“I know. It’s been a while for me as well.”
“I lost my boyfriend three years ago,” you blurt out, surprising yourself that you said it out loud. “During the Purge night. He um… He was a medical student. We lived in an apartment building and we heard someone crying for help. I wanted to stop him but he just couldn’t ignore someone who needed help, you know. He got shot accidentally, right into his head. There was no chance to save him.”
Leo’s hand gently squeezes your shoulder.
“Sorry, I… Don’t even know why I’m telling you this. I’ve never talked about him since the funeral…”
“It’s okay,” he moves closer, pressing a kiss against your shoulder blade.
“I was so angry at first, you know,” now that you start talking you seemingly cannot stop. “I wished I could find and kill them. But then I thought he wouldn’t want me to become a murderer...”
He presses his forehead against the back of your head for a moment. “I know how you feel, y/n.”
You finally turn to meet his gaze.
“I lost my son. I know what this anger feels like. Two years ago all I was thinking about on the Purge night was revenge. I was determined, almost obsessed.”
“Did… you do it?”
“No. I was close to it. Very close. But… One wise person made me realize that it wouldn’t help. Violence only brings more violence.”
“It has to be stopped,” you whisper.
“Yes,” he nods. “That’s why I left the police. Cops have to stay away from the Purge. I couldn’t any more. At least now I know I'm doing the right thing.”
“Right… Just… I’m just scared of losing you too,” you say very quietly, but he hears you anyway. His strong arms wrap around your body, pulling you closer, enclosing into his warmth. Making you feel safe.
“Hey, hey...” He whispers into your hair as he nuzzles into the top of your head. “It’s not gonna happen, you hear me? Everything’s gonna be alright. I promise.”
*
You have no doubt your colleagues noticed who drove you to work this morning. But today no one is in the mood for comments, not even Stella. Even though the work goes on as usual, there’s still this tension in the air before the Purge night.
Through the window you can see a bunch of guys gathered around the car with an open trunk full of baseball bats and other stuff you can’t discern. The owner proudly shows off his stuff, other guys laugh, they look pretty chill and relaxed, and your stomach nearly twists at the sight.
*
All night you could barely sleep a wink. A knock on the door drags you out of troubled slumber. At first you’re not even sure if you really heard it or it was in your dream. But the sounds repeat and you jump off the bed and without even caring to slip something over the huge t-shirt you sleep in. Barefoot, you rush to the door, open it with shaky hands.
He looks so exhausted it seems like he can barely stand. The collar of his shirt that used to be white is now stained with blood. And yet… He’s smiling.
“Leo!..” you gasp, stepping towards him and bringing your hand to his stubbly cheek. “Oh my god, are you… Everything okay?..”
“I’m great,” he breathes out huskily, and his smile slowly turns into a wide grin. “We did it, baby.”
You don’t even try to hold back tears as you fall into his arms, bury your face into his chest. He smells a bit like sweat and blood, but you absolutely don’t care. “I’m so glad you’re here,” you mumble into his ruined shirt. “I’m here,” he whispers back, stroking your hair. Then you realize the two of you are still standing at the porch.
“Alright,” you say, drawing back a little. “Let’s get you in, you need some rest… And you’re probably hungry too… And you definitely need a shower…”
“Wait, y/n. Let’s just… Stay here for a bit? I think we both need to catch a breath,” he chuckles crookedly, reaching out to wipe a tear from your cheek. You smile back.
“Okay.”
Sitting on the porch with your head on Leo’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around your frame, you watch the sky becoming lighter and lighter as the dawn breaks. You can hear the sounds of sirens in the distance. The city’s slowly getting back to life, waking up after another nightmare.
You both know it’s not the end, the war isn’t won yet, but at least you won this very important battle. And for the first time in what seems like ages you have a good feeling about the future.
*
Thanks for reading!
Hugs, Lucy
#the purge#leo barnes x reader#frank grillo#fanfiction#the purge fanfiction#the purge anarchy#the purge election year#lucy tries to write
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Cam girl (George Weasley x reader)
Warnings: Smut and swearing
Summary: George logs onto his computer every week at the same time to watch his favourite cam girl because she reminds him of a girl he used to have a crush on at Hogwarts. One day he decides to pay to private message her and she responds.
George logs onto his computer at 10pm, the same time every Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Today’s Friday, the last day of the week until he has to wait until Monday. For the past month George has been watching a cam girl, she goes by Honey but that’s not her name. The thing that excites George about it all is that she’s anonymous, no one knows what she looks like under the mask.
You setup your computer so the webcam can get everything, you find all the toys you want to use and line them up. You put on your mask and watch the time as it hits 10pm and press stream. The viewers get transferred to your livestream. People assume everyone there is old men but you’ve seen pictures in private messages and some of them are quite good looking. Your job isn’t all sex, for the first 10 minutes you have conversations with the viewers and sometimes people just want to private message you to have some company.
George has never typed anything in the chat before because he’s too nervous too, he doesn’t know what to say. He watches you as you sit on the bed and answer comments from the live chat. He originally clicked on your stream because you reminded him of a girl he used to have a crush on at Hogwarts. She was in Hufflepuff and he had said only a few words to her but he knew so much about her.
You stop answering questions when you check the time and get ready. You ease into it by touching yourself over your lingerie. George tries to stop himself from touching himself so early in the show but the way you moan and mutter dirty things makes his mind go insane. You start to strip first revealing your breasts and you see the chat comments speed up as more new comments roll in and more viewers tune in. You get an average of 5-25k views, it all depends on the day.
You strip until you’re fully naked and lay down spreading your legs out. You use your fingers to spread your pussy open and tease your clit. George starts to palm himself through his pants. You get out a pink dildo, the men prefer 6-8 inches and bright coloured so you tend to use them but you have a large collection. You get closer to the webcam and lick up the dildo putting it in your mouth and making it wet.
You put it inside you once you’re satisfied with how long you’d been deepthroating it. George pulls his pants and boxers down and touches himself right away, wasting no time. He usually cums twice, it doesn’t take too long for him to get hard after once because he watches the whole show.
You liked doing the show because it is a way to let out all your stress and you have a desirable body that thousands of people want to see and you get generous donations during the livestream and to pay to private message you. You stay up for a few hours after your stream to talk to people because the more you talk the more they spend money on you.
Once you’d cum a few times and filled up the time you end the stream by reminding people about private messages, $5 to talk the whole night. George felt an urge to message you but he decided not tonight, he had to go to work the next day and help Fred with the shop. He took a shower and couldn’t stop thinking about you, he got ready for bed and closed his eyes and realised he couldn’t sleep if he didn’t attempt to message you. It was a couple hours after your show had ended and he decided to message you. You probably get hundreds of messages a night.
Ha pays the money to send a message he types in something simple “Hi, I watch your shows every night” he presses send and waits a bit doing other things, the notification pops up on the corner of his screen and he sees you answered. “Thank you, it means a lot, we haven’t spoken before, have we?” it was polite but George was thrilled you actually answered. He immediately types back “No we haven’t but I’ve been watching for a month now, I never got the courage to even send a live chat until now.”
George stayed up for hours talking to you. You signed off for the night to all the other men in your chats just to talk to him. He seemed like one of the guys who was nice and you were both the same age, he’s 25 as well but you don’t give out your age or actual name. You could pass for younger or older. Every night even when shows weren’t on you’d talk, the more detail you knew about him and the more sexual the conversations were the more you liked him. You’d stay up extra late to talk to him and you found yourself realising you’re getting attached and giving him false hope that you’d meet up one day.
“What’s your real name?” He asks “I can’t tell you, it’s apart of the mystery, besides you haven’t told me your name yet” “I understand and I do prefer not knowing, my name is George just so you know.” Your heart skips a beat and you feel as though you’d been transported back to Hogwarts, you had a huge crush on George Weasley, you didn’t know him well but you fancied him and your friends knew, you had common friends but never became friends. You used to be so shy and that is the one thing you wish you got over sooner so you could become friends with George. As far as you know he’s been doing very well for himself at Weasley’s Wizards Wheezes. You always thought about going in there but thinking about how shy you were makes you feel insecure and shy.
“I love that name, I used to know someone with that name, he was a great person, just like you” you reply “I’ll admit I’m so surprised you’ve been talking to me everyday for a week” “I’ve grown to like you, George.”After talking for another week you couldn’t get him off your mind and you knew that you were in too far.
“I don’t want you to keep paying every night, here’s my number. I trust you enough.” George just assumed you talked to everyone the same as him but you seemed to like him. He saves the number in his phone under Honey.
As the weeks went by, you were talking more than just at night. You became friends and you started to hate that George was calling you Honey. “I wish I could talk to you in person” he types “Why don’t we do it then?” “In person?” “Lets meet up, we can hook up at my place if you’re comfortable” you couldn’t believe you were doing this. “Are you sure? Neither of us know much about each other’s physical appearance, you don’t even know what I look like.” “I don’t care, I’ve fallen for you and we should meet up.” You send him an address to meet up a couple blocks from your house just in case he isn’t as sweet on the internet.
You get there early and stand on the busy street, each man that goes by you get hopeful until you see him, George Weasley standing there looking around for someone. In a matter of seconds everything clicks in your head, you’ve been talking to George Weasley, no wonder you were so in love with this guy you’d just met online. You apparate out of there before he sees you. You get into your apartment and send him a text “I’m so sorry George, I just threw up and I’m not in the mood to see anyone, I hope you know I’m not an asshole.” He texts back almost immediately “I get it, don’t feel bad we can reschedule” “Thank you for understanding.”
The next couple days you ignored his messages and he even tried to contact you on live chat but you wouldn’t message back. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t what you expected, I think I got the message” George knew it seemed weird she would text right as they were supposed to meet, she definitely saw him and ran. Your heart breaks and you feel obligated to message “Are you free right now?” You text back “Why?” “Let’s meet up, same spot and I promise I’ll be there to explain everything” “I’ll be there soon.”
You use magic to clean up your house just in case he isn’t grossed out by you and does want to come back to hook up. You apparate and see he is already there waiting, he seems shocked that you apparated “Honey?” He asks trying to get closer to see your face in the dark. You take a deep breath and get closer to him so he can see your face “Y/n?” “Hi George” “Did you know?” “No, I had no idea until I saw you and got scared so I apparated home.” “What do you think?” “I could ask the same” “I asked you first” “I’ve always fancied you, since about fourth year but I didn’t know you so I didn’t say anything.” “We knew each other just weren’t close” “So what do you think?” “I’ve fancied you since fifth year so I’m happy, I’m shocked though, you were so shy.” “I’m a different person to what I used to be” “I can tell” “So what do you want to do?” “Love, this makes this so much better, let’s go to yours.”
You take his hand and apparate him into your apartment. You help take off his coat and lead him to your bedroom. “Wow, this looks so much cooler in person” “It’s probably because you’ve only seen one wall of the room.” He walks around “Do you want to see the toys?” He nods and you open up a few drawers full of them. “Wow, that’s a lot, do you ever use magic?” “Sometimes if I’m tired of doing it myself but never on camera.”
You make the first move and kiss George, his lips are cold but your warm lips pressed to his feels nice. “Can I undress you?” “Of course, just promise me you won’t treat me differently now you know I’m me” “No way, I get to fuck you on the bed I’ve seen for months, I’m not going to treat you any differently than how I told you I would.” You smile and bite your lip trying to hide your excitement as he discards your clothes.
“You’re just as beautiful in real life” he kisses down your neck to your breasts and sucks on one of your nipples and you let out a whimper, he kisses down your body and hovers above your pussy. “Please George” you moan, he licks from your core up to your clit. He fingers you with two fingers first before sucking on your clit and curling his fingers inside you. Your fingers grasp his soft hair and pull on it while the other grips the side of the bed,
“George! I’m going to cum” you yell and he pounds his fingers into you “Fuck” he pulls his fingers out of you and licks them off. He takes off his shirt and unbuttons his pants while you’re recovering from your high. “I’m ready, I need your cock in me, George” you palm him through his pants and slide a hand into his boxers, jerking him off. He pulls them down “Lay down” you do as he says while he strokes himself a few times before lining himself up with your core.
He slides himself in and groans at the feeling “Fuck” he moans and slowly picks up the pace until he gets used to the feeling. “You’re so fucking tight, Y/n” he pounds himself into you, you feel yourself sink into the mattress with every stroke. Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you let out a loud moan. “So fucking hot” You grip onto his bicep and look into his eyes when you are about to cum. Without saying anything he already knows “Come on, you’re so close” he rubs your clit with his other hand and you finish around him. “Holy shit, feels so good, you’re throbbing on my cock” you feel him finish and he lays beside you.
You lay your head on his chest “Thank you” he says “No, thank you, that was great” “I know you don’t do this for everyone so thanks and if you you did like it and want me to come around again I’ll be happy to.” You kiss his lips “George I want to see you again, a lot more often but also do other things like go to dinner or something.” You wait to see what he will say hoping he will agree. “Are you asking me on a date?” “No im asking you to be my boyfriend” “Really?” He sounds surprised “You don’t have to say yes I was just saying I’d like that” “Yes.”
George was fine with you doing your job, your shoes ever night and private messaging other guys because he knew that’s what you had to do to earn money. If he couldn’t be at your apartment one night he’d just watch your livestream.
#george weasley x y/n#fred and george#george smut#george weasley fluff#george weasley x reader#george weasley x you#george weasley fanfiction#george weasley imagine#george x reader
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If It’s The Right Thing To Do (4)
Words:2886
Character: Seth Clearwater
Note: let’s imagine your Sam’s little sister
Dialogue prompt:“So let me get this straight when I need you you’re nowhere to be found but when I do something dumb you magically appear.”
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Seth Clearwater Masterlist
A/N: message me or comment if you’d like to be on the tag list. sorry it took so long I love you guys:)
“I’m sorry Seth but you and I both know that what you’re saying is bullshit.” I snatched my hand away from his chest, the feeling of his racing heart was no longer there. I knew he wasn’t lying about what he said but for his and my sanity, we both needed this to end here. This entire relationship was causing too many problems...well before he decided to join the Cullens.
“What (Y/N)....what are you talking about?.” He stood there with tears in his eyes, I’m surprised he didn’t let them fall like I was letting mine fall. That was one thing I hated about him. He held in all of his emotions and then when it came to the breaking point he would explode. Trust me when I say it’s not a good sight to see.
I had to put off a bold face for him. I couldn’t let him know that I was actually dying inside. I was letting a few tears slide down my face but that didn’t compare to the aching feeling that I was feeling inside of me. It was the same feeling I felt when he first left me.
“Fine since you want me to say it so badly”- I roughly pointed my finger in his face.- “ Leave me alone. We’re breaking up so don’t call me, or text me until you get your priorities straight. I’ll be home when you get your shit together.”
Seth couldn’t look me in the eyes, he started to kick the dirt with his feet. The sand below him started to change different colors from the tears that were falling upon it. He started to mumble a few words but the only thing I could hear was. “You don’t have your priorities straight either (Y/N).”
“It’s because I’m dealing with your shit! I’m around here following you like a lost puppy when you only play mind games with me! I’m so done with you and your bipolar ass!” I spat bitterly, I turned my back to him then marched towards Sam. I turned around to look at him once more, I instantly regretted it. He stood there with his hands in pockets with his head still hanging low. His head shot up instantly making eye contact with me, I quickly snatched my gaze away from him. This was going to be a new start for both of us so I didn’t need to be drawn back in with his puppy dog eyes.
Seth POV 2 weeks later
I was too much of a coward to say goodbye. I was truly heartbroken. I wish I could run to her and tell her that I love her and tell her that I cherish everything about her but I know she wouldn’t believe me. I was all out of options. The only thing that felt right to do was to cry and that’s what I did. I cried so hard that day that Jake had to carry me home on his back. It’s been two weeks since I have last spoken to (Y/N), two of the longest fucking weeks of my life. I thought losing my dad was painful but this...this has won the race. I couldn’t bear the heartbreak so I started to stay out longer. I asked to take over Leah and Jake’s patrol hours. I don’t even remember the last time I ate. I can only remember our last encounter, it’s like a nonstop movie in my head it was causing me to go insane.
I hate it here.
I have been spending most of my days down at the border. I was monitoring the days where Colin and Brady patrolled, they were my best option to trick into letting me cross the border. It was my only way to apologize to (Y/N). So here I was trying to wave down Collin and Brady so I could continue with my ridiculous plan.
“Hey! Colin, Brady pshhh, come here!” I yelled out in the distance to the two wolves. I was standing at the border waiting for them to shift as well. I wasn’t in my wolf form. The last thing I wanted to do was be a threat to them.
Brady was the first to walk from behind the tree while Colin stood behind the tree too nervous to face me. I could read their body language from a mile away, they were very uncomfortable with being around me.
Brady snarled at me, I observed as all of the muscles in his body grew tense as he spoke. “I heard you got into it with Paul. He should have ripped your fucking head off.”
“Wow I wasn’t expecting that from you Brady, but thanks I guess.” I wasn’t trying to be an ass but it just rolled off my tongue. Straight away I regretted it, it only pissed him off even more.
Brady pulled Colin by the collar of his shirt pushing him towards me. The kid could barely keep his posture straight or his eyes focused on me. He had no confidence in his steps and started to trip over the branches on the ground.
Brady pointed between the both of us with his thumb. He had an irritated facial expression plastered on his face. “Tell him what you told me when he left.” he spat bitterly, a small smirk was rising on his face but soon faded as Colin spoke.
“Do I have to?” Colin mumbled, he waved shyly at me. I took this opportunity to wave back to him. I gave him a small smile as well. Colin, Brady, and I were always close but Brady was always the fiery type while Colin was timid.
“Yes, you have to say it!” Brady exclaimed.
Colin rolled his eyes, “Fine, I said that you were an ass for leaving us behind. It wouldn’t be the first time that you left us.” Brady glared at him to continue, “I also said that you have a reputation for turning your back on us.”
I noticed Brady smiling at Colin; he must have felt accomplished. I must admit, I did feel bad, I left them behind but it was some things that they have not come to reality with. “Listen I need a huge favor. I need you to let me cross the border so I can see (Y/N).”
Brady rolled his eyes, “Wow so you just completely ignored what we have to say? Why would we let you cross the border and jeopardize us? Yeah, that was a stupid request.”
“You’ll do it because I am your superior. In Jakes’s pack I’m the beta...but don’t ask Leah or else she’ll lie. She thinks she’s the beta because she’s older but in reality, Jake named me the beta.”
Colin had a questionably look on his face, by now he has grown more comfortable with me and now is standing face to face just like Brady. “Why would you want to see someone who doesn’t want to see you?”
I was taken aback, “Why do you mean? She wants to see me, there is no way that she would not want to see me.”
“Umm I highly doubt it, she’s been living well since the accident. We went skating last week with us and the others. Not once has she mentioned your name.” Brady slapped Colin across the back of his head. I watched as the two bickered back and forth. Brady pushed Colin away from him. He snapped his fingers to gain my attention from my feet. I hadn’t realized that I was getting sidetracked but I was trying to figure out why (Y/N) wasn’t heartbroken.
“She made it clear that she didn’t want to be around you anymore Seth. Dude if I were you I’d really leave her the fuck alone. She really wants nothing to do with you. If you try to see her she’ll probably freak out on you. You’re pretty much dead to her.” Brady then smirked, “There’s also another guy that has been keeping her busy lately.”
Ouch. Well, that hurt...it actually hurt a lot. I cleared my throat so I could stop the tears from arising. We’re not about to cry in front of them!
Colin now slapped Brady beside the head. “You could have said it nicer, idiot.”
“What! Her words, not mine!”
“Just forget about it.” I spat bitterly, If you wanted to forget about me and everything we had then so be it. I could forget you just as fast as you did me. I could care less about those stupid ass memories we made together. Just like you said I really didn’t love you it was just the stupid feeling of you being my damn imprint.
I continued to walk and degrade our relationship. Jake tried to stop and talk to me but I just shoved him out of the way. He started to piss me off as well. He had his nose shoved so far up the Cullens ass he couldn’t tell you what roses smell like. Then here comes my second problem, Leah. I didn’t dare shove her. I didn’t want to pick a fight with her right now. I could explode on her and say some things I didn’t mean.
“Where the hell have you been!? Were you down at the border again?”
“Does it really matter?” I rolled my eyes at the screaming woman. If she wanted to be my mom then she should have birthed me out. She tugged me backward pulling her face up to hers. I stared into her lonely eyes as she did the same with me.
“You’re my little brother so you are my business. Stop doing dumb shit, Seth.”
I ripped my face from her hands. “So let me get this straight when I need you you’re nowhere to be found but when I do something dumb you magically appear.” I already knew where the conversation was heading. I was not in the mood to hear her shit right now because I was a walking bomb ready to explode.
“Did you go see (Y/N)?”
“No! I didn’t see her. Why do you make everything about her? I could care less about her.” I couldn’t control myself. I threw my fist into a nearby tree. It cracked and fell to the ground. I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. As much as I wanted the tears to stop falling I couldn’t. I have never felt so empty in my entire life. That same feeling of heartbreak resurfaced throughout my body. My chest began to tighten, a sharp pain shot throughout my body as I tried to walk forward.
”Make it stop hurting Leah.” I began to sob uncontrollably. “It hurts so bad, why did she have to go? Why is everyone leaving me? What did I do to deserve this….I just try so hard to make everyone happy but when will it be my turn to be happy? Mom is fucking dating Charlie now. We barely see her anymore only on fucking holidays! Why did dad have to fucking go!? And you only check on me when it’s convenient for you Leah! Why is everyone leaving me, Leah!?”
“Seth I-”
I cut her off, “Don’t say it.” I knew I was going to apologize about the accident that happened with dad. I never blamed her for the accident. She didn’t mean any harm by it. I could never bring myself to blame her.
I started to wipe my tears with the sleeves of my flannel shirt. It brought back the memories of the time that (Y/N) would take my flannel and wear it with her converse and shorts. I started to cry all over again at the thought. I started to choke on my words, everything that was coming out of my mouth was undetectable. “(Y/N) was always there for me and now I chose the bloodsuckers over her. She doesn’t understand that it was the right thing to do. They were going to kill a baby. Leah, I don’t have anyone else. I’m so fucking lonely!”
“I know how it feels Seth. It hurts like hell but you’ll get over it. I’m sorry that you felt like I wasn’t there for you. I must admit that I was being completely selfish. I love you Seth and don’t you forget that.” I started to relax under her embrace. I haven’t seen this side of her since she and Sam were together. It was good to have her back though. “I love you too.”
I followed her gaze, she was staring up at the stars. “I want you to cry it all out, Seth. All of that heartbreak and sadness you have deep within you I want you to let it the fuck out. If you hold it in it’ll turn into anger then that anger will turn into bitterness. I’ll come back and check on you in the morning.”
I don’t want to be alone…
Leah’s footsteps started to become faint, I was left alone in my thoughts once again. I honestly didn’t want her to go. All I wanted for her to do was to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright. I was stuck on ground zero like I was when my dad died, no one was there for me except (Y/N). She would probably hold me in her hands while whispering the things I wanted to hear. I wish you were here right now, maybe I wouldn’t be so angry at the world.
“Fuck it!” I started to yell out in the night air. I threw punches in the nearby tree to try and let my anger out. I hit each syllable of the words in the tree. “Fuck you, Sam! And Fuck you too Paul!! I’m not scared of you!” “I don’t care what anyone does and says to me. I’m going to see her and no one is going to stop me.” I didn’t stop until the tree flew back by the force of my hits.
I shifted into my wolf and ran towards her scent. Brady and Colin were still on patrol however they were both on the other side of the forest. It would take them a while to catch up to me at the speed I was running at. A sinister laugh escaped from my lips. This power or maybe it was the adrenaline….no, this was most definitely power. It made me feel invincible, By no means this was me finally sticking up for myself, or how (Y/N) would say, this was me finally growing some balls.
Her scent was in the direction of the beach, oh how could I miss that scent. I followed the dominating scent but there was something a bit off with her scent. It was a mixture of something foreign. I gazed out to the beach scanning every person that was out there. It seemed like there was a party, there were so many teenagers out around the bonfire. I growled out as I watched you sit on a log with another guy’s hoodie on. His cheap polo cologne filled my nostrils. You were sitting there laughing at something that he said which probably wasn’t that funny.
“Tch, I want to know what’s so funny.” Anger arose in my body causing my teeth and claws to sharpen. My breathing became irregular and there was a tight feeling in my chest. I tried to ignore it but the harder I breathe the more painful it becomes. I took a step forward and instantly collapsed on the ground. My wolf form quickly disappeared and there I was laying on the ground in the fetal position. I tried to crawl but my body felt numb. The only feeling I had was the tears falling from my eyes down my cheeks and onto the ground. I even tried to scream out your name but nothing came out but a gasping sound.
Was I dying?
I started to cry even harder, the thought of dying always freaked me out but the thought of leaving you with guilt made me feel even worse. The sobs were coming out more frequently than I anticipated. I didn’t have time to catch my breath or even think straight. Everything felt like it was closing on me. The air around me started to thin out making me feel dizzy. The pain in my chest starts to become more unbearable.
“(Y/N) wait...I..I...can’t breathe!” I choked out the words barely having the strength to do it. My head started to pound from the lack of oxygen I was getting. My hearing was becoming undetectable. I felt my body go stiff and my eyes fluttered shut as well, everything became dark and warm.
It took every bone and ounce of energy to draw a tiny heart near me. If (Y/N) found me like this then she would see the heart. She’ll know that I died loving her...right? Was I even dying or am I just being dramatic? I don’t know, I just want to embrace the warmness that surrounding me right now.
#seth clearwater#seth clearwater fanfic#seth clearwater one shot#seth clearwater imagine#seth clearwater x reader#seth clearwater fanfiction#seth#Twilight wolf pack#wolfpack#wolf pack imagine#wolf pack x reader#wolfpack x reader#twilight#twilight seth#twilight imagine#twilight wolves#sam uley#sam uley imagine#Jared Cameron#paul lahote#paul lahote imagine#jacob black#jacob black imagine#embry call#embry call imagine#Quil Ateara#quil ateara imagine#leah clearwater#leah clearwater imagine
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real or unreal? [pcy]
—summary: her newest romance novel needs a main male character, but no brainstorming is enough to give her the perfect role for the man that swoops the other protagonist off her feet.
finding inspiration in a man she hears of from an old colonel from the army, his existence bleeds onto every page she writes, and yet, she has to get to know him—to see the face behind such gorgeous memories.
lieutenant park, they call him, and he’ll never know he’s the muse behind the one book that will probably make her reach stardom.
—title: real or unreal?
—pairing: park chanyeol x reader
—genre: military!au ; writer!au ; muse!au
—type: fluff ; angst ; longing
—word count: 8,000
—note: this is a kofi request. if you wanna support me, you can always ask me to write something over there!
Excellent liars make even better writers. They wrap words in the most gorgeous of ways, make the bad guy turn good in the middle of the plot just in the sake of love, and they make every reader eat it up. Chosen ones, real love, spaceships and more—writers have filled their banks with more than one hundred thousand words full of bullshit.
Head thumping, she lets the dinging line in the paragraph she must be writing in eat her alive. The point of writing is so paradoxical that she doesn’t understand it at times. She misses it like a madwoman when her fingers can’t lay on the keyboard, but once she needs to, every ounce of inspiration or will dissipates into the thin air. Not only that, but then there comes the perfectionist in her that reads over that first draft, that first chapter of another book that will probably get denied by agents and publishing houses alike and she hates it.
Because, how many times have people read about the bad boy with shredded abs, a crooked smile, pushed back hair and too much bite, with enough sex and alcohol to last him three lifetimes, and they still love it. She doesn’t, however.
She has fallen for the bad boy. Been with the bad boy. Kissed the bad boy to bits and pieces hoping that he saw her and only her, but then you realize much like love, eyes have peripherals and he can see much more. There is a world out there, why settle for her?
This house had been covered in his scent once. His tall height, his incredible strength, his beaming smile and the typicality of his features. Handsome with a swipe of his hair, a hooded jacket and his hands on his pockets when he neared her, pressed a chaste kiss to her neck while she wrote and begged her to give her inspiration. A month ago, she would’ve melted at the sound of his voice, right now, she is not so sure she can stand the idea of Jaejin coming over.
But she knows he’s about to. In this tidy home, with faux dark green plants and tall ceilings, crafted by his own immaculate job while she chased after a dream that could happen just as it couldn’t, she knows he is one step away from coming over from one of his spectacular, elongated trips to God-knows-where with who-knows-what-kind-of-bitch.
The laptop turns off, her reflection staring back at her. It’s a sight to laugh at, really, much like the nervousness and ache she felt to go through his e-mail, his Twitter, his Instagram, even his Facebook. Look through every friend on the list, every following she could find until she saw it. What she had been looking for all those times Jaejin insisted she could never come to his business trips.
A woman with a profile picture that included him. Hugging him. Head resting on his shoulder as his handsome features came into full view. And she’s gorgeous.
She’s so gorgeous that she almost feels like crying—for the umpteenth time—when she realizes the laptop’s screen is black, and her reflection is staring back at her. Horns of hair stand up on each side of her face, eyes puffy from so much crying, his shirt on her body, covered in some of the sauce that she had with some fried cuisine just a while earlier.
And it’s not her. It has never been about her. These five months have not included her at all—and the bad boy never falls for anyone; they put a ceiling over your head, they make you feel loved, they say you’re the only woman in their eyesight, that they have changed so much you never have to worry or be insecure again. You don’t have to check for other women who flirt with him, because he can only think of you.
So, what did she do when she was told all those lies? She wrote romance books. Erotica. Sweeter than ever. Dramas. Whatever it was—it came to life. All those men with gorgeous features, much like Jaejin, and amazing personalities that switched just for her. Who kissed every insecurity away and fell in love with the dip of the main character’s hips, or the strength of her heart Those who swore they’d never hurt her quite like the people in her past did?
Tell that to the tears that try to stream down her face when she hears the entrance door opening.
Her nostrils make out the scent of him, but before he could arrive and leave that lingering within her, she stands up, placing her hands on her back when she goes over to the main hallway, deep gray walls contrasting with his dark hair, gorgeous smile and the twinkle behind his eyes when he opens his eyes and with his melted-chocolate voice says:
“Come here, gorgeous.” She doesn’t move, but he doesn’t give her the option to doubt. His hands are resting on the back of her thighs in a second, bringing her up until he can rest a full kiss on her lips, his thin ones cold to the couch but warm to the heart when she pulls away. She hates him so much, but this is the man she met in high school; that one impossible guy who reconnected with her years later and changed.
Changed so much he still preferred to have the most gorgeous, hot and spectacular woman in the world but only decided to do it behind her back, because she is one thing…and that’s why she is his girlfriend, she is safe and sound, she is the one that will wait for him at home and that will give him the benefit of thinking he is moving forward, that he’s an adult.
She’s the one he says he loves as someone else jerks it for him.
“Jin…” She trails her voice, looking over to the side when he leans forward to steal another kiss from her lips. “You smell like alcohol.”
That’s what tumbles the house of cards apart. He had gone out to drink before even coming home, and she can’t even start to think who he had gone with—
“Had some drinks with the folks. Nothing special.” Jaejin traces her hair with the tips of his fingers to put the baby hairs down. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a drink since my little dominatrix keeps me on check and tied up.”
With that, her feet fall on the floor with a soft thud because of his lack of hold. Jaejin goes to settle his coat on the hanger, but those words can only be repeated inside her head over and over again.
Tied up.
She keeps him so tied up she had gone insane—green with jealousy as she checked through his social media because he wouldn’t answer to her texts for days.
Tied up.
Tied up enough for him to think he had the power to destroy her, and not even give her a warning.
The one thing tied up is her tongue when she expects him to get closer, to wrap his arms around her waist, grab the skin there and place a kiss on her neck. Make her think that, perhaps, he isn’t as sedated as she knows he is and that he wants her. Desires her like he promised he did that one time they reconnected a year ago; when he said he didn’t even know what he was thinking about when they were younger when she always was there.
He doesn’t.
“What did you make for dinner?” He questions, taking his phone in between his fingers and going to plop himself down on the couch when she calls out for him.
“Jaejin.”
That catches his attention, but he doesn’t look up from the device. “You never call me Jaejin.”
“I need a break.”
That does it. His phone falls on his lap just as he leans his head back on the burgundy couch, expensive and chosen by him, and the first thing she wants to destroy in this fucking place. “A break?” He asks, voice sturdy. “A break from what?”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she tries to gain strength to say this, but her voice wavers when she closes her eyes and breathes out: “A break from you.”
Jaejin is silent, and she doesn’t dare see the mess that is about to ensue. Instead, she waits for the clash of emotions. Her boyfriend stands up at that moment, steady steps reaching out to her when he scoffs.
“A break from me? What are you even talking about?”
“I can’t stand being in this relationship anymore. I’m sorry. I don’t want to let go of you,” With that, she opens her eyes, because that man who likes to pretend that he is broken had been the last person on her list when she was younger. He always sounded like trouble, and she had been the nice, good girl that kept away from it all. The night it changed was the night that she should’ve ran away. “But I have to.”
“Have to?” With his questions, he continues. “You’re taking me for a fool here. I’ve given you all. A house. A life. A fucking ring to promise you that this is going somewhere and this is what you pay me with?”
He doesn’t raise his voice, but swords go through her with everything he adds. “You didn’t give me a life, Jaejin. I was given that the moment I was born—”
“You were that one fucking nerd in the bleachers that no one wanted to talk to because you are complicated and insecure and…” He tugs at his hair at that moment, turning around when a groan leaves his lips. “You are too fucking pretty for the trouble that you are and now, you’re running away again. Like you did back then, always hiding, always trying to look at people over your shoulder because you’re so conceited and—”
There comes the explosion, the kind that appears in a book and ends in an apology, but the acids in her stomach churn at what he says. Maybe, first opinions do matter. What would anyone think if they heard from the person that they feel like they love that they are complicated and insecure, much like they were in the past? It burns, too badly.
“Fuck you.” She says, tugging at the edge of his shirt to have him turning around. “You don’t get to say that because you didn’t even give two shits about me back then. How could you even know me?”
“Because I thought you were cute. Of course, I was going to notice you.”
“Don’t try to make yourself sound nice—”
“Well, fuck, sorry for reacting to my girlfriend wanting to take a break from me.” Sarcastically, Jaejin conquers.
“You have other bitches to fuck while you wait for me, don’t you?” She questions, hating the way she sounds, the words she spits out, but the anger can’t stop her from saying what she feels. Jaejin raises his eyebrows at that, a small smile taking over his features.
“Is this what this drama is all about? Honey, I truly have no one—”
“Stop lying.” Her voice cuts through the air when she feels his hands stopping at her arms, clutching softly. “Stop lying because it hurts.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“Then, why did you go with her?” She opens her eyes then, tears blurring her vision and making him seem too far away. “You said you had changed,” With that, she pushes herself away from him, anger bubbling within her like a volcano ready to explode. “You said you’d wanted me and only me. You said we’d have a future, that you were a better man now and I wouldn’t have to worry ever again. I wouldn’t have to be that fucking insecure little girl I once was with what you had promised me, but here I am, being her again, because you have brought her back.”
Grief takes over his features, pushing his hair away from his face as he follows after her, her steps taking her towards the door. “Who is this her you’re talking about? I don’t—”
The name scalds her tongue when she holds onto the doorknob and breathes out: “Kim Juna.” His breath stops at the mention of such name. “Kim Juna and whoever the fuck she is, but she sure as hell has you displayed over her social media.”
“Shit.” For the first time since he had gotten there, Jaejin did what he did whenever he got home. Sheltered her, kissed her neck and made her…melt—or, not really. She felt repulsed, actually. “She doesn’t mean anything. I—I was just…shit, I have a lot of issues, baby. I think I can have it all and I didn’t realize I can have it all with one woman and that’s—”
“No.” She shakes her head, opening the door to let the freezing breeze bite at her arms and thighs. “You get to have it all, Jin. You deserve it. You just don’t get to have me.”
If she had to describe how an autopsy feels like, she’d compare it to the moment she steps out of the house she shared with Jaejin. Her heart taken out, she takes a few steps forward, part of her wishing for him to go after her, but he doesn’t. He stays in place, paralyzed, locking the door as the swish of the wind bites at her and reminds her where she is.
She’s running away.
Tears cradle her vision, making a child out of her as her shoulders shake unconsciously. Her bare feet patter against damp grass, walking away from the house until she sees it. The lights of a car turned on, directly pointed at her, until she hears a horn and a call of her name.
Whoever pops their head out of their car, parked right in front of her neighbors’ house, seems to be worried about her. Though, when the lights are dimmed down and her eyes can finally concentrate on the figure, she realizes who it is immediately.
Colonel Song has a face that cannot be forgotten. Somewhere in 1983, he must have been the most handsome man of his team, but now, he’s bathed in wrinkles and shy smiles. His wife opens the entrance door, waiting for him, but he’s already getting out of the car and walking towards her, small hands extended out to hold her shoulders.
Small, hooded eyes and thin lips, a bit of a stubble rests on his pale skin, with his hair reaching his earlobes, tall and sturdy to protect his family and his nation once in a lifetime. Salt and pepper hair drapes over his forehead when he looks down at her, questioning.
“Oh no, darlin’, don’t cry.” His thick accent says, reminiscent of the times the Song’s had asked them to tag along for dinner. Their youngest daughter had gotten married somewhere during the latest summer, and they wanted nothing more than to have someone else to take care of. Parents through and through. “What just happened to you? The night’s too cold to be out and about like this.”
She rubs at her eyes, unaware of the ache in her throat and the amount of shame she feels at that moment. “It’s nothing to worry about, Colonel Song.”
“It is!” The old man conquers, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and bringing her along to his front yard. “I’ve had enough daughters to know that seeing a woman with little to no clothing walking away from her boyfriend’s house with tears running down her face is never a good sign.”
Read like a book—like the ones she will never get to write properly, a shudder rakes up her spine, lips trembling when more tears gather in her vision. “You’re wicked observative, Colonel.”
“Something life brings you. Just knowledge.” With that, he reaches his wife, a smile on his face. “I’m guessing we have some extra food for our guest tonight, don’t we?”
“We always have extra food as long as you don’t get your hands on the pan, Hyunsoo.” With dyed brown hair and a small figure, Mrs. Song places one hand on her head and rubs the skin there with a single thumb. “What’s the crying for?”
“I asked her the same thing.” Mrs. Song’s husband adds, pulling her through the door once his wife widens the space to enter and though every portion of her soul begs to be an adult, to find a motel to stay in and simply shut her mouth and not put this old couple through the hassle of understanding her pain, she can’t stop herself from saying the truth.
Because a thing she doesn’t have is many friends. She had locked herself up in the idea of a romance book and Jaejin, loving him like the one man that would last her a lifetime, and the lifetime is over by now.
She tugs at the edge of her—his—t-shirt as embarrassment takes over her. Truth be told, she doesn’t want to leave, for the house is too warm, small yet gorgeous, not modern at all, with wooden counters and creaking stairs. Pictures scattered across the walls, holding memories along with Colonel Song’s medals and recognitions.
“J—Jaejin was cheating on me.” She whispers, voice awfully low when she turns around to look at the couple, whose eyes soften at the sight of her. “And I just asked him for a break.”
“So…” Colonel Song mumbles. “You have nowhere to stay?”
She shakes her head. “Not for the night. I left everything I own at his place and he’s there. B—But, I can find something. I will—”
Mrs. Song shakes her head. “You’ll stay here for as long as you need, honey.” She conquers. “We had four daughters and we won’t care about having a fifth if we need to. We’re not leaving you alone tonight.”
Maybe, fear is what petrifies her and makes her nod, lonesome in a home that exudes everything and romance. Happy endings work for some people, and she happens to be one of those who don’t follow after the rule.
###
For the three weeks she spends at the Song’s house, locked up in fear of coming face to face with Jaejin, she learns a few things. How to avoid writing is one; that Colonel Song likes his eggs in the morning with thinly sliced onions and squared tomatoes, and, how to forget? That Mrs. Song likes to sing to her plants, the ones that she has been watering instead as she searches for freelanced jobs to help around the house.
She had tried to leave the day after her break up with Jaejin, but the Song’s didn’t relent—said something along the lines of needing some fun in their lives and for them to forget their loneliness for a while. In light of this, she finds herself on a Monday morning, whisking eggs to place them on a pan—with onions and tomatoes—at five in the morning just before the Colonel has to go train the newest additions to the army.
The walls send love her way, the cramped kitchen basking her in a warm embrace when she bumps her hips with the counter accidentally, trying to make some space for herself as she waters the plants by the windows. Silent as ever, she takes this time to breathe in the scent of being the only one awake for a while—when she doesn’t see the looks of sorrow and worry in the two old persons’ faces.
Old scars will heal, but for now, she feels like a clown walking around with a warning sign that says ‘on the brink of crying with a smile on her face’.
Just as the water runs down on flowery and thorn-filled plants, the wind passes through the opened windows in the kitchen, flowing and whistling until it knocks something over. What follows is noise, enough to make her close her eyes and turn around to see what had broken or fallen.
Kneeling on the flooring, a crooked picture welcomes her eyesight. A single man stands in the blurry picture, though his smile is memorable. Cheekbones protrude in a welcoming smile, his long fingers cradling his forehead to keep the sun away from his brown, almost caramel-like eyes, rounded and big, ready to unwind all the secrets in the world, with his dark walnut-colored hair swept by the wind, a few strands standing in the air, curling like veins and matching the golden tone of his skin.
What surprises her is the strength of his body, slim yet carved, a white tank top covering his upper body, cladded to his every curve thanks to the thin layer of sweat on his chest, his shirt tied around his tiny waist.
“You okay?” She hears a voice call out for her, worried like a dad, and when she looks to the side, the closest thing she has to that concept comes in full view. Colonel Song rids the sleep away from his eyes with a rub of his fingertips, a yawn interrupting his sentence. “Haerin heard something fall. I was knocked out like a log.”
A smile spreads across her features, turning off the stove just when she puts the picture down on the counter. “Sorry, I was preparing breakfast and the wind knocked this over.” Colonel Song is already going over to the heated coffee machine, pouring some of the black liquid on his preferred cup. It reads ‘In Love With My Five Girls’ and she can’t help but chuckle every time she sees it.
“Oh,” Clicking his tongue after taking his first sip of coffee, he rests one finger on top of the picture. “I never hold up pictures of my men in my house. I like to separate my duty with my life, but Lieutenant Park deserved a spot.”
Though that’s an indicative of his position in the army, it doesn’t give her much to hold onto, and that face is enough to transcend every portion of her brain and bathe her in curiousness.
“A good pal of yours?”
“Saved my life a bunch of times, indeed.” She can’t quite understand how someone so young is over his position, or how he had managed to earn such respect from Colonel Song. “A brave one—competitive as all hell, but it fits him. Park Chanyeol, one sick motherfucker…would always look at the brighter side, in some way or another.”
She doesn’t realize that the Colonel is already pouring his food onto a plate, slicing it in half to leave some for his wife until her hand falls from her cheek and onto the counter.
Watching, she licks her lips before saying: “He looks like a heartbreaker.”
“Oh, he was.” Chuckling, Colonel Song nods at her words. “But I can’t blame women for falling for him. There was something about him…some form of wild, thoughtful yet reckless nature to him. He was the both worlds that people want and need.”
“How did you meet him?” When becoming a writer, or trying to be one, she had learned to grow interested in people just by hearing their stories, and by the way Colonel Song smiles at her, he’s glad to tell her the answer.
“Maybe, you’d like to grab a cup of coffee, too.”
And she does.
###
Park Chanyeol. A name to remember. She recalls perfectly well the moment that she saw him enter the front yard of the Song family, but his features are more of a memory that she’d have to recall before her last breath is given.
Muddy boots and striking hair, accompanied by a perfectly put-together uniform, grasping his wide shoulders and leaving his tiny waist for a memory that she blushes on and on about. He kneels down to do one of his shoelaces, boots spanking against the pavement with expertise.
This is the man Colonel Song had spoken about in his stories, going off until his tongue was dry, she feels like she sees every portion of him when she leans in that kitchen window, with her notebook pressed to the counter and her figure unaware and unseen for him. He’s there, so benevolent, so unreachable and perfectly put-together.
Today, he sports a frown on his features, as if troubled, and she can’t help but wonder if the stories Colonel Song had told her were true—she likes to think of people as walking paradoxes, as plotlines and character sheets that she needs to fill.
Lieutenant Park had been married, as far as Colonel Song had told her. Married to his job, first and foremost, but also married to the woman he had once loved. It lasted a year; a year and a few tries to get their family started, only to fail. His wife felt like less of a woman, succumbing to self-hatred until he couldn’t reach her.
While jotting down his description, her mind wandered, thought of stories behind that frown, each hair contracting to his will, to what he had seen in this world and she hadn’t. Only when she hears a knock on the door, she rushes to the bedroom, starting on a first chapter of a new book.
###
For five years, she has tried being a writer. Think about that—she doesn’t know how many days five years, but if someone can die from one day to the other, then someone can definitely lose a lot of time of their lives just by reaching for a dream that is impossible.
Now, she’s seated in Colonel Song’s office, as his little secretary, sorting papers into folders, giving calls over to him and making sure he eats his eggs in the morning. It’s a job after a month of living with him, and she’s goddamned thankful of how much support she has gotten from that family, but even in this place, with tidy desks in light yellows and too many badges in the walls for her not to feel pressured, she can’t stop writing.
Can’t stop thinking about the story that Colonel Song had told her that morning he got late to work, just because he was so lost in his thoughts, in the way he smiled and cried for him. She did, too, and sometimes, she can’t tell if she sees him or he’s gone, if he’s part of her imagination or he visits Colonel Song each Thursday without avail.
Someone in the office gives her an answer that Friday afternoon, just as she’s arranging the last few folders and giving them over to Colonel Song for him to sign when she sees it, perched in Soldier Byun’s hands as he stares down at his phone, a smile plastered on his face when he speaks to the rest of his team.
“Chanyeol’s finally sent something!” He adds, enchanting in the way he speaks when he waves his phone in the air. She manages to steal a look over his shoulder, of Chanyeol seated on the floor with a smile on his face, his hair longer, in front of some tourism spot that she can’t quite pinpoint. “Having the time of his life while we’re out here suffering.” Though, she knows Soldier Byun doesn’t mean it, much less for the way he seems to be over the moon just by seeing his friend.
One of the smallest of the team gives a step back, chuckling at Baekhyun’s words. “Tell him to get us some women over th—oops, sorry.” He knocks her over, making her folders fall on the flooring just as he kneels down to pick them up. “Shit, sorry. Colonel Song will kill me—”
Instead of looking at said soldier, she looks at Baekhyun, eyes trained on the phone on his hands. “Don’t sweat it. I won’t tell him. It was nothing. I’ll arrange them again…” But her voice drags, distracted, heated ears reminding her of the imagery she has written in the most profound romance book she has written yet. A complicated soul who had spent his life not trying to find love in fear of what could happen, of what he could lose.
Baekhyun seems to understand her, running a hand over his short and dark hair before quirking an eyebrow. “You saw him?”
She hums, but she stands up before he could further question anything. Colonel Song told her Baekhyun can be a bit of an ass. “I did.” She replies.
“Pretty handsome, isn’t he?” Soldier Byun questions just as she’s about to get out of the small offices and into the field. Her feet stop against her will, listening to his voice when he says: “He would’ve taken a liking of you if only he was here, y’know?”
Nostalgia fills his tone without noticing, and she takes this moment to swallow thickly. “What a bummer we didn’t meet at the right time, then.” Remembering what Colonel Song had told her, she turns around, resting one hand on the doorframe. “Have a nice day, Soldier Byun.”
###
Colonel Song had started speaking that one morning when she had taken the first sip of her drink, soft in his approach, pensive in the way his eyes squinted at the food on his plate. “I wasn’t unfamiliar to the Park family. His uncle was my best friend once, the soldier by my side through every event that happened in my life.” He told. “And I lost him. I was the one who couldn’t protect him and from then on, I promised myself I wouldn’t deal with someone from the Park family ever again.”
The man has a way of telling things—straight-on, as if they don’t hurt him, and anyone who would look at him would think that Colonel Song is the imagery of temperance, balance and guarding. What they don’t know is that even the strongest of cards in the deck can lose from time to time.
The coffee is lukewarm by the time he swallows his food and speaks again at the weight of her question. “So, how did Lieutenant Park start working with you?”
“He was crazily stupid. Stubborn, couldn’t get through his head even if you wanted to.” Colonel Song explained at the time. “So, he was in lower rankings of the army and I didn’t see him until he became a Lieutenant. Chosen by someone of higher caliber than I am. I wasn’t excited to see him, and I am sure he wasn’t very pleased to see me either.” With that, he shakes his head, a small smile taking over his face. “The boy was respectful; I’ll give him that. On his first day, he grabbed my hand, shook it like a man and said: ‘You may have not protected my uncle, but I’ll protect you.’ I was angry, as you can tell.”
“Of course,” She said. “He wasn’t the most adoring of subordinates.”
“I knew that.” Colonel Song agreed. “Reason as to why I made every practice he had impossible. I’d scold him, make him work harder than others, he’d break in sweat and sport this deep frown on his face and I think…I think I did it just to feel better. To feel like pushing him away would take the memory of his uncle away.” Shadows bathed over his features at that moment, diving in the rest of his drink before smacking his lips together. “It didn’t, and it definitely made him hate me more.”
“Can see it.”
“Hey, I’m a nice man, you know this!”
“I’m certain.”
“Either way,” He patted a napkin to his lips before sighing. “One day, we were on a mission. It was…well, complicated. Fire raked around me, bubbling, scalding me, I could feel my poor old lungs just dying on me, and guess who came for me?”
She knew the name, could figure out the hero in him when her lips wrap around the syllables: “Park Chanyeol.”
“The devil took over that boy, I tell you. He walked through fire just to get to me, the one motherfucker who made his life miserable while serving…” Colonel Song swallowed thickly, and her heart rose to her throat.
“And what happened to him?”
###
Never had some bled out of the pages quite like the Chanyeol-inspired character did.
It was horrible, terrible, pathetic in every way that the only form she could write was by imagining his story, rewriting the stars as one would think, but it’s what she gets, the only form she can feel ready to face the world. In most occasions, she likes to imagine him to be there, just arriving to the Colonel’s place, once again saving his life. That way, she can take that strength from him and pour it into more mundane tasks.
Eighty thousand words in two months and she feels her fingers draining their softness to more of a harsher skin when she puts that last dot, that wishful end that leaves her throat dry…because, in all honesty, she doesn’t know the end. This alluring, gorgeous, dark yet bright character is not the man that everyone knows in the quarter. If anything, it’s a part of her imagination; it’s the man that has visited her dreams, that leaves the tingle of nonexistent perfume on her skin and on her bed…
He’s part of her imagination, but so real at the same time.
Because Colonel Song talks about him as if he’s the best person he has ever met, and she can’t help but think so as well. Trusting people is a task she’s not ready to go through, but meeting her muse shouldn’t be so difficult…it shouldn’t feel like a sin.
Her name is called just as she opens the door late at night, vision blurry and aching because of her computer’s light.
“Yes, Mrs. Song?”
“I can’t find my daughter’s e-mail, could you help me? It’s in my agenda but I’m doing the laundry!” The words are distant, followed by the rhythmic drum of the washing machine.
Well, it’s one of the few things she can do for living in this place.
“On it!”
Mrs. Song agenda rests on her small coffee table, years old and cladded in brown leather, holding the address, numbers, e-mails of her closest friends and what she sees just as she’s looking for Chaerin’s number—her youngest daughter—, is an address for lettering that she wouldn’t have ever expected.
Park Chanyeol –Vienna.
Vienna, sounds fitting for him. Expensive, recondite, even a bit surprising. It’s the curiousness of having him palpable, within the reach of her hold that has her grasping her phone in between her hands and taking a picture of the complete address underneath that.
Maybe, one day she’ll have the courage to say how much his story inspired her.
###
“A few burns in his arms, inhaled a little too much smoke as he dragged my ass away from that disaster.” Colonel Song’s eyes closed tightly, a small breath shuddering through his nose before he opened them again. The air was dense, her heart contracting against the necessity to know more about the man in the picture. “It lives with me, darlin’. Each time I wake up, I realize that one of the main reasons why Lieutenant Park’s life changed was because of me. His skin was tainted, never the same, but that wasn’t the end. His marriage ended not long after, he left the army, and he told me the day he was leaving…”
The way his face basked in shadows let her know that it hurt him. Not only had he lost Chanyeol’s uncle, but he had to see the younger man lose his will along the way. Maybe, that is what life builds us for—to fall, to lose, to escape.
Her hand extended to hold his own, as if convincing him that this was a nightmare that wanted to twist him from reality, but every portion of what passed his brain was real. There was a hero out there, much like Colonel Song’s best friend, who lost it all to save someone else.
“I’d save you again if I had to, Colonel.” He whispered, eyes twinkling when he looked up at the ceiling. “His voice was so deep…he continued by telling me: ‘I should’ve let you die, you sick bastard, but I’d do it again…because I’d be a changed man if I didn’t.’”
“Shit.” She cursed, pulling away from him to take in the words that Chanyeol had said. He feared becoming someone he could not recognize, but he did along the way.
“But I burned him. In some way or another, I destroyed that will and innocence he had within him. I…I brought a hero to life, but I wanted him to be a guy. I wanted him to just be…carefree for once, just like his uncle.” He covered his face with his hands, pursing his lips to stop anything unnecessary to fly through. “So, I pleaded for him to live. He had saved me, so I needed him to live. Travel. Enjoy the world. I don’t know—just, fuck, he had done so much that I needed to feel like I could do something for him.”
After a few minutes of silence, her throat croaked out a small: “Where did he go?”
“Somewhere in Europe. Playing some gigs. Living his life.” He said, chuckling, rubbing the small tears that had appeared in his eyes. “I sure hope that he fell in love or, I don’t know, managed to heal his wounds…because I haven’t been able to write to him since the last time that I saw him. I’m too chicken.”
###
Riding on a bicycle is, quite possibly, the most childish thing she has done in a while, but with the harsh sun beaming down her face, her hair moving with the wind and some folders resting in her backpack as she prepares to get to work, she knows she has something else to do before she gets to the office.
Three months is a long while to live with someone, and even at this point, just as she’s rummaging through websites to find a place to live in, she can’t give a shit about how destiny had put her in the worst position. Sure, a messy break-up had brought her here, but at what cause? To meet amazing people? To learn a new task? To finish a book that she has now edited and printed to send it to a certain someone in Vienna?
Yeah, that last sentence is the one that makes her fear the most.
For the last few months, she has looked out of the goddamned kitchen window and imagined Chanyeol to come over, meet ends with Colonel Song and for him to get to know her. Part of her wants to hear his voice, understand how deep it was, perhaps dip a toe in getting to know him, in comparing if the character that she based on him—in what she could feel of his presence—was anything like him, but there is something that united Colonel Song and herself…
They were both too scared.
It took her a whole month to write the letter that accompanies the printed, edited version of her last try at romance, until she decided it was perfect. Her thighs ache by the time she gets off the bicycle, lifting her hand to greet one of the workers at the mailing company.
Isn’t his name…Yixing, or something? With adorable dimples and a thoughtful, somewhat lost face, the man grabs the small box in between his fingers, dangling it in the air as if to weight it.
“Not as heavy as your usual packages.” He points out, intelligent in his approach when she leans her weight forward and speaks to him in a quickened manner.
“Shipping is already expensive when sending it to Vienna, so I had to make it light.” Giving enough information, she pats her hand against the counter.
“Should I ask why you’re sending something to Vienna?” Though, he’s already preparing everything, putting a sticker on the package and doing his job to utmost perfection.
Heat fills her face when she stammers out an answer: “J—Just…something for a friend.”
“Sounds nice of you.” Not quite as malicious as anyone else—for example, Soldier Byun—could be, he hums at her answer. “Anything else I can help you with?”
“Not really.” She opens the door then, waving at him before adding: “Have a nice day, Xing.”
“Thanks! You, too!”
She doesn’t know if it’s the sun that makes her feel heated when she gets on the bicycle once again or if she’s overthinking what she just did.
###
I know you don’t know me, but I’ve heard wonders about you.
That’s a weird way to start this letter, but I didn’t want to do the typical ‘Dear Chanyeol, you don’t know who the fuck I am and before you stop reading this letter: Nope, not a creep, not at all’, so I went for this instead. My name is at the end of the letter, just in case you want to learn it…or if you’re calling the police on me, I’ll let you.
Jokes aside…hi. I’m living with Colonel Song since two months ago, or three, almost. You know, the typical trope—boyfriend cheats on girlfriend, girlfriend goes a bit crazy, feels like she loses her heart and she breaks up with him, but he never follows after her but you know who does? Yep, his neighbor. His, quite frankly, old neighbor that rubs your tears and tells you, along with his wife, that you’re so much better than him. For a while, I didn’t believe it…and now, I really think I might.
The wind happened to knock one of your pictures over at Colonel Song’s place. I don’t know if you know this, but the man looks up to you as if you were his own personal hero. Cried as if he was a kid over again when he told me your story. It’s none of my business, but I was curious. One, because I thought you were really handsome and two, because I believe in destiny, and I know just how well Colonel Song hangs his pictures. They don’t move…so why did yours happen to fall?
You may roll your eyes at what I think of you. You, Lieutenant Park or Park Chanyeol or just Chanyeol by now, may think that I’m just some crazy woman who romanticizes the burns, as little or as big, that rest on your arms, or the way you saved Colonel Park…but actually, I couldn’t stop myself.
So, a name, a little bit of a dumb, nerdy introduction and something else you should know about me—I’m a writer and a shitty one at that. Romance, erotica, yeah, that’s what I wrote most of the time…but I happened to listen to your story and make one based on it. Forgetting all the stupid tropes and plots that I had ever created and making something that I am proud of.
So, Park Chanyeol living in Vienna, here’s my book and I hope you like it. It sucks, but it’s my last try before I give up on my dream.
With you, I didn’t know if you were real or unreal…and it’s been a pleasure to just figure that blurring line out.
It was nice to write about you.
###
A new place means a new start.
But the spark of love she ignited four months ago still exists within her. After all, the Song’s had done everything in order to change her life and introduced her to a new portion of herself she didn’t know existed. More mature, given to life and to destiny, breathing in and out in contentedness once she slips inside her almost empty apartment.
The box that Mrs. Song had left on her counter still stands after long hours of working. Her navy coat rests on the floor as she goes towards the kitchen, hoping to find some takeout through the contacts in her phone—or, maybe, Mrs. Song had packed one of those granola bars that she knew she loved to bits and pieces. Her hand rummages through the contents of her little piece of memories until it lands on a piece of paper.
Sure, there are granola bars, but what is the paper for?
A romanticist at heart, Mrs. Song may have tearfully written a letter for her midway adopted daughter these past four months. At the thought, she leans against the counter, breathing out harshly through her nose as she gets ready for the train of feels. The good old kind.
What she didn��t expect was the mess handwriting and the PCY at the beginning of the letter.
He responded.
Park Chanyeol responded a month after.
Fuck no!
Or rather, fuck yes?
“You already know my name, but let me introduce myself again.
I’m the fucking main character of a book. What part of that isn’t awesome?
I read each and every page and laughed my ass out but also thought to myself about how much justice you did to my shitty story. Not only that…but the main character? That dude? Even more awesome than I am. I’m glad my dumb self could serve as inspiration.
I didn’t know what else to tell you this past month…but each and every time, I stopped and thought for a moment: ‘I can’t let this writer stop, well, writing’.
So, keep going. Please, next time I’m over there, I want to go to Colonel Song’s house and ask to meet you and hear him say ‘well, she’s busy, but she’ll definitely catch up with you once she gets out of her book-signing world tour’.
Or, something like that.
I need me a printed copy with your signature, please.
Felt like sending a postal as a thank you while I solve some things here. I’m not quite ready to go there yet, but I hope to meet you one day.”
With shaking fingertips, she takes the postal in between her hands. He’s standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, dated a year ago, with his elbows bent and a small smile to the camera portrayed, sunsets cladding every portion of him, but his body covered in thick Sharpie to emulate abs.
“I’ll have to get as shredded as in the book next time I see you.”
That’s the time she learns she can’t wait to meet Park Chanyeol and feel him as a reality.
#chanyeol scenarios#chanyeol#exo scenarios#exo#kpop scenarios#writing#exo fluff#exo angst#exo au#chanyeol fluff#chanyeol angst#chanyeol au#DUDE EXO IS COMING BACK#had to write this#the teasers were OOF
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sweet sweet relief
spencer reid x reader
request: do a Reidxreader where the reader is hotch’s younger sibling? They’d be new to the bau and hotch is over protective and reluctant to let them do anything. Due to their young age they get super close to Reid, maybe fluffy or angsty? Thank you!
Warning: angsty (kinda), BAU stuff...
The first time Y/N had met the team they could barely tell the two of them were related.
They were nothing alike.
It wasn't even just outside appearances, they were different, in character, in shape, in every form possible.
Aaron Hotchner was calm and quiet, he was known to be stern and sophisticated, he worked actively to stay in control. He was cautious and careful. He was the epitome of undisturbed.
Y/N Hotchner was not.
She was feisty and stubborn, and she would rather argue with someone than submit to them, and she was lively and sarcastic and known to be impatient.
There were barely any similarities between the two.
But they were both smart, and they both had a mindset for justice, both believe that everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves, that everyone had a right to feel safe in their world. They both believed that by removing just a little bit of the darkness within the world, just a little bit, it would make everything brighter.
But besides that, they were two completely different people.
It was a surprise to everyone that they were related.
That two people so completely different could share the same DNA.
So when Y/N walked into the conference room, a little later than Hotch had requested, all of his team members shared confused glances at the smirk Hotch had on his face, at the almost-hug he had given this girl.
She looked far too young to be his girlfriend.
Hotch turned around to 6 pairs of confused eyes, 6 people with questions, 6 people who looked very very intimidating to Y/N.
She’d heard all about Aaron's team, she’d heard about the lovely technical analysis, the eldest profiler who had a kick for jokes, she’d heard about Derek, the strongest member of the team, she’d heard about Emily and her history in crime, JJ who’d been the top in her class, and the genius who was only 3 years older than her.
She’d heard about all of them.
That didn't mean she was any less nervous to meet them.
And with the way they were looking at her like they already wished she was gone, her nerves shot through her body.
She couldn't help but turn to her brother, her eyes cast downward, and hope that he knew she needed help. Hoped that he knew her just enough to know when she was nervous.
“This is Agent Y/N Hotch. Strauss assigned her as a new addition to our team.”
There was more collective confusion around the room.
“Hotch?” Morgan asked, Y/N looked up at him, to see him frowning at her, she wondered why he cared that much, wondered why he was bothered by her, why he looked like he could tell exactly what she was thinking.
“Yes.” she answered back quickly, and sternly, like she was telling him as a favor, “Aaron is my brother.”
There was a gasp from across the room.
A blonde woman, with bizarre earrings and questionable clothes, walked over to Y/N, a wide smile on her face as she looked at Hotch with hopeful eyes.
“Sister?” she asked, almost like she was being given a gift Y/N thought.
Hotch only nodded.
Her smile got wider.
She embraced Y/N, pulling her into a quick hug like they’d known each other forever. Y/N felt some nerves escape her at the hug, at least one person didn't hate her already.
“Hotch didn't tell me he had a sister, it makes sense though, you’re so pretty.” She pulled back to smile at Y/N, she had bright energy, one that reminded Y/N of a friend back home, her smile was contagious.
“Y/N, this is Penelope Garica, the technical analyst I told you about.”
“It's lovely to meet you.” Y/N said laughing, as Penelope pulled her into another hug, she already had a special place in her heart for the blonde.
“You have a sister?” Derek asked, and Y/N looked over Penelope’s shoulder to see his face much more relaxed, less threatening, she immediately placed him as the man Aaron had told her about, the strong one.
“Yes, I do. I never told anyone for security reasons, and there's never been a need to bring it up.” Hotch looked at his little sister with pride, he was glad she was there, glad he was going to get to spend some more time with her, glad she had made it so far so early in her career.
“Plus, he didn't want to brag.” Y/N teased, making eye contact with Derek as a way to say she didn't mean any harm, as a way to let him know she wasn't going to be a problem.
He smiled at her. She smiled back.
“I’m Derek Morgan.”
After that, three other people came up to her, with warm smiles, all introducing themselves, JJ who seemed warm and paternal. Emily, who looked to Y/N like a rebel at heart, she smiled a little extra at that. And Rossi, who immediately told her she was a part of the family, “Any family member of Aaron’s is a family member of ours.”
It felt strange to be accepted by all of them so quickly, strange to feel so comfortable so quickly.
And then she was introduced to Spencer.
It took her heart a moment to force her to move.
She’d heard about Spencer, the man who was closest to her age, the smartest man Aaron had said he’d ever met, the Doctor with three PhDs.
He was utterly attractive.
Nerves shot up and down her body, reminding her of the fear she had prepared herself for, though this time it was a different type of fear.
She had not prepared for soft brown eyes and messy hair.
She had not prepared for him to be anything like he was.
Fuck.
He was exactly her type.
She shyly smiled at him, and he waved, just waved, unlike the handshakes she had gotten from everyone else, something in her mind was telling her not to question it.
With a blush on her cheeks she looked away, she looked away and reminded herself that she was there to work, that her boss was her brother, that even if she did immediately want to know everything about the doctor only ten feet away from her, that this was work.
She stayed silent for a couple of moments.
Her brother announced it was time to get started on the case.
***
It had taken a couple of weeks to get used to the job.
Aaron had warned her as much.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he’d asked as soon as she’d announced she was moving out to Virginia, moving to work with the FBI. Y/N had taken it as judgment, she thought he didn't think she could do the job, didn't think she was strong enough, didn't think she was mature enough to handle the BAU.
She’d immediately run to her own defense, “I’ve been sure for almost 3 years Aaron.”
“No, Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. It's just… this job takes a toll on a person. Are you sure you want to do it?”
There hadn't been a doubt in her mind, had not been a moment of hesitation, a moment of wondering if she was really strong enough, if she really dared to do what her brother did every day, there was never a question of if she thought she could do it.
It hadn't even taken her a moment to answer yes.
But, this time, Aaron had been right.
Seeing dead bodies, learning about different methods of insanity, diving into the mind of people who were sadistic, not saving everyone. It was all heartbreaking.
And exhausting.
Y/N was starting to understand what her brother had meant, what he was thinking of when he said it took a toll on people, she was starting to wonder how he dealt with it, how he went every day being the boss and not breaking down while dealing with what they dealt with.
She was starting to wonder how they all dealt with it.
Most days, none of them seemed bothered, none of them seemed to mind any of it. She tried to remind herself that they had all been doing it a lot longer than she had, that they had seen everything a million times, that they had gone through the worst things she could imagine. It didn't help her feel any better.
She wasn't going to quit though, she could feel it in her blood, in her heart, that she was doing the right thing. That this is what she was meant to do, that no matter how many people died, no matter how many terrible people there were, she was saving someone's life.
And she was good at it.
She kept her head held high and tried not to show any hesitancy.
The night right after the case, one that had been particularly different from the others she’d seen, she felt practically dead on her feet. She wondered if she’d have to get used to the constant sleep deprivation.
It was late that night when she overheard Spencer talking to JJ, who looked about five seconds away from becoming the next unsub.
Y/N laughed behind them and wondered what he was talking about.
In the 6 weeks she’d been there she’d gotten close to most of them, she’d learned about their lives, about the way they worked best, she learned how smart they all were, how amazed she was by them. But she hadn't gotten the chance to speak that might to Spencer.
Maybe she didn't want to.
Maybe she didn't want to feel herself slip under the coworker crush that she was familiar with, maybe she didn't want to learn about him, things about him that she would think about constantly, maybe she didn't want to get close to him in fear that someone might notice how taken back she was by him, maybe she didn't want her brother- and her boss -to find out about the crush she had on him.
Maybe.
Maybe all she wished for was some relief from the overwhelming feelings she felt for him.
She was thinking about him, thinking about ways to accidentally eavesdrop on the two of them without looking suspicious, when JJ noticed her.
“Oh hey, Y/N” JJ looked exactly how Y/N felt. Her eyes were practically closed.
Y/N pretended not to notice the way Spencer looked away from her.
“Hey,” she said quietly, giving a little wave as she walked to the elevator doors. Home. That's where she wanted to be.
“Spencer was just inviting me to a movie he recorded at his apartment that he was going to watch-” JJ said, as Spencer tried to interrupt her, she just gave him a stern look when he tried. “-but I need to get home to Henry, so maybe you could go with him instead?”
There was a gleam in her eyes and a smirk on her mouth, if Spencer and Y/N both weren't so obvious they would’ve known what she was doing.
The team had been trying to set them up for a month.
Y/N just stared confused, nerves running up and down her spine reminding her to breathe. She suddenly felt wide awake.
Spencer just looked conflicted.
‘Um- yeah” he cleared his throat, running his hands over his hair and down to his neck “yeah- you could come... Yeah.” he said, moving to glare at JJ for a moment, JJ who was smiling wide, knowing that Spencer would never take back the invitation- especially not for a pretty girl.
“Oh.” Y/N jumped in surprise, her heart was beating faster at the prospect of going with Spencer, and while she knew that he had not technically invited her, she still felt her body practically shout with excitement. “Yeah, of course, I’d love to.” she stopped for a moment trying to collect herself, trying not to look as surprised as she felt, “if it's alright with you.”
They all stood there in the elevator, listening to the quiet hum of the machinery, two of them looking awkwardly at the ground, both of them full of nerves, one of them smiling between the two of them.
As the elevator finally came to a stop Spencer spoke up again.
“Yeah, if you want I could- you could just- follow me… if you want.”
Y/N nodded quickly, not used to Spencer talking to her directly.
JJ smiled just a little bit wider, just a little, and waved them both goodbye, turning around before saying “I’ll let you both deal with that.”.
She couldn't wait to tell Penelope.
And then there were two.
Two, very socially inept, nervous, people.
***
Spencer's apartment was just as Y/N had expected it to be, it was small and warm, and there were a million lamps all around the space. It was filled to the brim with bookshelves, at least 5 of them all around the room making it look smaller than it was. In the corner of the room there was a small couch and a tv, Y/N could see books spread all over the coffee table, and multiple mugs sitting around the room.
It felt like his home.
Y/N adored it.
Though Spencer looked around nervously, his eyes uncomfortably noticing all of the things he’d forgotten to pick up, all the books he’d left out.
“So um- this is it.”
Y/N giggled a little at that.
Her car ride over there had been filled with doubts and insecurities, she had noticed how distant Spencer had been with her, how little effort he had made to get to know her. Out of all of her new friends he was the least welcoming.
She still felt drawn to him. She still felt like she needed to get to know him.
It was the craziest feeling.
On her way over she had decided she would get to know him, just so she could count herself as a friend, just so she could start looking past him, start looking at everyone else instead of constantly being focused on him.
“Okay. Do you have popcorn?” Y/N said breaking the silence they had been surrounded in.
It earned Y/N her first smile.
She was amazed.
She wanted to keep making him smile.
Spencer gestured for her to follow him to the kitchen while he put a bag of something- which she assumed was popcorn as she had asked -in the microwave. It felt just a little bit more comfortable now, almost like they weren't going to have the worst time together.
“So uh- how are you um-” Spencer cleared his throat, clearly out of his bounds. “How are you enjoying the BAU? I knew that- um- when I first started I was really nervous.”
Y/N felt a bit darker at his words. Did she tell him how she really felt, about the doubts she’d been having? Or did she lie through her teeth? Lie to the man who had given her his first smile, lie to the man who had invited her over?
Turns out she didn't have to answer that question, as Spencer answered it for her like he did most questions.
“Oh no. Did I- um… Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry I didn't mean-”
“What?” she said quickly “No you didn't say anything wrong…”
Spencer stared at her, waiting for her to continue, he felt like she had more to say.
“It's just I… I don't know I’m just not-” she threw her hands up and sighed, surprised by her own reaction, she didn't want to throw all of her problems at Spencer, especially when it was their first time even having a full conversation out of work.
“Is there something wrong?” he said quietly, trying to read her body language to gauge her reaction.
“I just-” she sighed again and put her head in her hands. “I can't explain.”
Spencer nodded. He just stared at her a little bit longer, he had read somewhere that if you leave silence between conversations, most of the time the question would be answered all on its own.
After a couple of seconds waiting he could clearly see this wasn't the case with Y/N.
“Okay. What if I ask questions… and you answer?”
Y/N looked up, “like an interrogation?”
Spencer smiled a little bit and nodded, he was glad she seemed open to the idea.
“Okay.”.
They spent the night like that, Spencer had learned all about Y/N just through asking questions.
The movie was forgotten.
Y/N had come clean about her worries, about her hesitations with their job, Spencer had practically pulled the truth out of her after seeing past all the empty answers she gave his questions.
It was infuriating how much he could read her.
Eventually, they had switched, and Y/N had asked the questions for a little while.
She had learned about Spencer's mom, had learned about his love for all things sweet, had learned about his favorite books, and had learned a lot more about practically everything than she ever had in school.
It was almost addicting.
They switched back and forth for hours, eventually moving to the couch, asking each other questions and laughing.
It was almost two in the morning.
Earlier Y/N had felt like she was going to fall asleep standing.
Now she felt wide awake.
She thought about how the morning would turn out, how much they both needed sleep, and eventually said, “I should probably go.”
The smile Spencer was wearing fell just a fraction of an inch, and Y/N immediately felt terrible.
“I think we both need some sleep.,” she said, trying to communicate that she didn't actually want to go, but she definitely didn't want to fall asleep at her desk the next day.
Spencer walked to the door and smiled.
He smiled.
She wondered how hard it was going to be to stay away from him now.
***
“Aaron she was going to die!”
“Y/N, you can't throw yourself into situations like that.”
A year later she had no doubts about her job.
No hesitations.
Nothing but the need to save as many victims as possible.
Cases in Virginia were always the most stressful, with Strauss breathing down their necks, the media wanting to know everything about the FBI that was located in the state.
They all hated it.
They much preferred to go out of state, somewhere with none of their families, none of their problems constantly chasing them down. It was always so much calmer when they weren't home.
Always so much easier.
And maybe running directly into danger wasn't the best way to relieve stress.
Y/N knew that.
But she also knew how scared that girl must have felt, she knew how deadly the gun in the unsubs hand was, and she knew that it was her job, not just as an FBI agent, but also as a person, to do something. To do anything to save a little girl's life.
She wasn't going to stop to think about her own life in a moment like that.
She had rushed into the house, rushed into the place where so many other little girls had died, rushed into the place with a man almost three times her size, a man who was holding a gun. She wasn't going to risk that little girl's life.
And she was fine, and that little girl was alive.
To her, that was worth more than a million praises from anyone.
It wasn't enough for Hotch though.
The minute they had gotten back to the office, the second Y/N had tried to sit down at her desk, the minute she had tried to say anything to Spencer, that was the minute Hotch pulled her away, furious, into his office.
She already knew she was in trouble.
He had sat her down, he had repeated exactly what he had said when she arrived at the unsubs house, alone, he repeated his exact orders to her, repeated the orders that she had deliberately disobeyed.
“Aaron. She needed my help!”
“Y/N you can't risk your life! And you definitely can't ignore a direct order.”
Both of them had scowls on their faces, and at that moment they looked exactly like siblings, looked so similar it was hard to tell them apart.
The rest of the team was sitting in their desks, listening to them fight, pretending to be filling out late reports, but mostly listening to the two siblings fighting.
Garcia was standing outside the door, waiting for something to happen. She didn't want anything bad to happen to her best friend. She didn't want them to fight at all.
Spencer nervously looked from the door to his desk over and over, waiting for one of them to walk out, waiting for the yelling to continue. He knew that his girlfriend was probably freaking out internally, trying to control her anger as she had to do many times with her brother. He knew that what she needed right now wasn't a reprimand, what she needed was reassurance. He had no idea how he could get that to her.
“Aaron. I am good at my job. I got her out of there. Safely.” Y/N said sternly, refusing to back down, even for a moment, refusing to admit that what she did was reckless, refusing to admit her life meant anything more than that little girl.
“But at what cost Y/N? What if you had gotten hurt-”
“I didn't.”
“Or died? What would that mean for us?” He asked, looking at her, his eyes hard and unmoving.
Their stubbornness was always something they had shared.
“Aaron. I knew what I was doing. I had to save her.”
“It was reckless Y/N.”
“Maybe it was. Maybe, it was. But I’m fine, she's fine, we’re all fine.” she reassured him by gesturing to the door, why didn't he understand that she couldn't not go in there?
“I can't have you acting like that. I can't have you not listening to my orders.”
“Is that what this is about? Me disobeying you?” Y/N asked in shock, shock because it almost felt like he was trying to control her, trying to show her that he was still older than her. “Because news flash Aaron, I’m not some little kid you’re in charge of anymore.”
“I’m your boss.”
“I had to do it!” she said finally.
“It was stupid. It was stupid and reckless, and I have no idea what you were thinking.” His words were final and stern. His face was angry, and he was clenching his fists. It looked like he wanted to say more but Y/N wasn't going to let him. She wasn't going to let him call her names, and treat her like she wasn't an adult.
Y/N was done, she was done trying to be calm, done trying to keep all her feelings hidden deep in her chest, done trying to pretend she didn't want to throw something at him, she was done.
“I’m not a little girl Aaron!” she yelled at him, walking away. “I can take care of myself, and I know what I’m doing. Maybe that's not good enough for you, but it's good enough for me.”
And she threw open the door, too angry to care about Penelope who was standing shocked in front of her. She rushed to her desk and started throwing things in her bag, mumbling under her breath.
“Y/N?” Someone said from behind her.
She sighed.
“What Spence?” she said quietly, feeling like giving up.
“Are you alright?” he asked, grabbing her arm and trying to get her to look at him. If she looked at him he would know how she was actually feeling, without having to guess.
She looked up and studied his eyes.
“He's being ridiculous!” she whisper-yelled looking back down at her desk. “I did the right thing and I’m fine. He's just mad because I didn't listen.”
Spencer watched her for a few moments.
“Maybe he's right,” he said quietly, his eyes looking worried and surprised, surprised because he hadn't meant to say the words out loud.
Y/N’s head snapped up. Her eyes looked deadly.
“What?” she said quietly, more quietly than she had been in the past 10 minutes.
“Y/N I just think that-”
She cut him off. “No Spencer. You’re supposed to take my side. You’re supposed to have my back. Jesus-” she said sadly grabbing her bag from her desk and throwing it over her shoulder. “You’re my boyfriend and you’re supposed to support me.”
“Y/N I do I just-”
He couldn't get anything else out.
“You’re supposed to support me,” she said desperately, giving him one last look, one filled with anger and doubt and sadness, and all the feelings she had no idea how to express, she gave him one last look and
She walked out the door.
***
Driving was a helpful coping mechanism.
Driving helped Y/N ease her mind. Helped her think things through.
She knew she shouldn't have yelled at Aaron and Spencer like that, she knew she had overreacted. And she knew that to some degree they were right.
She hated how protective both of them were.
She loved how protective both of them were.
It was a difficult car ride, she was doubting herself, doubting her instincts, doubting her efficiency as an agent, doubting if her brother and boyfriend believed in her.
She knew she overreacted.
But Aarons words had hurt, he had insulted her, and even if he’d had reason to, it still hurt her feelings.
Spencer was a different story. She’d automatically assumed he would agree with her, would agree that the little girl's life was worth more than any risk, would agree that Hotch was being harsh.
She’d forgotten how angry he could get when she ran right into danger.
She was driving and her palms were sweaty, and her stomach was being attacked by anxiety, and she had no idea how to talk to either of them.
All she knew was that she had to.
She had to get over her feelings, she had to think about them.
So she drove back. Slowly. As slow as she could go, but she drove back.
When she parked her car she felt like turning around, she felt like a little kid again about to go tattle on her brother to her mom, felt like she was the victim and the abuser all at once, and felt an overwhelming amount of emotions fill her to the core.
She walked inside. It took her a moment to remember how to get back to her desk.
It was irresponsible for her to leave in the first place.
When she walked through the doors of the BAU you noticed Spencer's absent desk, she noticed her other coworkers staring at her, their eyes a bit hopeful. She looked at them confused.
“Reid went to the bathroom. Don't worry pretty girl, he didn't leave.” Morgan said, reading the question in her eyes, watching her exhale in relief.
She smiled at him and walked towards Hotch's office.
She had been gone almost 2 hours, and technically she knew that everyone could have leftover half an hour ago, but she also knew all of them, and she knew how late they’d stay.
She knocked on her brother's door, regret pooling at her stomach, air filling her head.
There was a quiet “come in” from the other side.
She peeked inside his office, saw him scribbling on a piece of paper, and as soon as he looked up Y/N felt a million times smaller. She always felt smaller when she was in trouble. Though when she looked at her brother's eyes all she could see was relief.
“I’m glad you’re back,” he said, looking back down at his papers, clearing his throat, clearly a sign that she could come in.
So she did.
She walked over to his desk and sat in one of his empty chairs. She watched him write for a minute, thinking of something to say, thinking about all the times she’d had to apologize to him in the past.
“Aaron.”
“Hmm?” he said looking up at her again.
“I’m-” she paused, paused, and took a deep breath. He deserved an apology. “I’m sorry.”
She saw his jaw twitch, saw a flicker in his eyes, saw a drastic change in posture.
“I know,” he said.
She sighed in relief. She knew he wasn't mad anymore.
“I know I overreacted. I know it was stupid what I did. I won't do it again, I just- I just had to do something. That's all.” She hoped that was a good enough explanation, hoped it would make him forgive her, hoped her mistake could cost her in the future. She looked down at her hands, not wanting to see his reaction. She hated apologizing.
“It wasn't stupid,” Hotch said, putting his pen down. She looked up at him slowly.
“What?”
“It wasn't stupid. I’m sorry I said that. I understand what you had to do.”
More relief, making its way up her feet, and into her stomach, relief filling her chest with cool air, seizing the fire of anxiety in her chest. Sweet, sweet relief.
“But that doesn't mean you can ignore my orders” He added, and Y/N felt herself smile. He was teasing her, she saw a glimpse of the brother she used to- still -idolized.
“Sir, yes sir,” she whispered, moving to stand up. She had another person to apologize to. As she walked away her brother spoke again,
“Y/N?” she nodded, looking back at him. “Don't be too hard on him,” he said gesturing outside, where Spencer was back at his desk, staring at the bag on top of Y/N’s.
She smiled at him and looked over at her brother. “I won't.”
She almost walked away again “Aaron, you should go home.” he looked back up at her “go say hi to my nephew for me. “
And with that, she walked out the door, walked away too fast to see him smile at her.
The relief was invading her brain, making her next decisions for her.
She would have to thank it later.
She walked out the door and over to Spencer's desk, Spencer who looked surprised she was actually there.
She grabbed his arm and pulled him up.
“Hey-”
She kept pulling him, moving both of them into an empty storage room, while the rest of the team laughed at her antics.
As soon as she made it into the small space with him, as soon as he looked down into her eyes, his face entirely a question, her nerves entirely seized.
“I’m sorry.”
Spencer frowned at her. He frowned and opened his mouth in a silent question.
“I’m sorry for overreacting. I shouldn't have taken out my anger on you. It was unfair.” She said, searching his eyes for forgiveness.
They didn't fight often, barely fought at all, but every time they had she had always found the answer to her problem in his eyes. His eyes seemed to know everything.
She wondered if they knew how much she loved him.
“No, Y/N I should’ ve-”
She pulled him into a kiss, resting her hands in his hair as he moved his to her cheeks, as she held her apart as she kissed him, her lips an entirely different apology of their own.
Sweet sweet relief.
When she pulled back, just enough to see his face, she watched him sigh in bliss, watched the tiny smile on his face, watched his eyes open with amazement.
She wondered when she had last kissed him like that.
It seemed like too long.
She pulled him back in, giving him small pecks on his lips, and then his cheek, and then his neck. Smiling at the way he giggled when she tickled him with her hair.
“Y/N?” he said after a moment, his voice warm.
She looked back up at him to smile, to smile and peck his lips once more as an answer.
“I think I’d like you to take out your anger on me just a little bit-”
She cut him off with a kiss.
Sweet sweet relief.
my masterlist here.
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds rp#criminal minds headcanons#emily prentiss x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#mgg#mgg x reader#mgg blurb
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The Problem with Cassie
I would like to preface this with: I’m not defending Cassie’s going behind Maddy’s back with her abusive “ex”-boyfriend. Because that is absolutely fucked up.
but I think the vitriol directed at her by fans is unfair, however the fans’ hate toward her isn’t helped by the way the story frames her. A character’s actions and personality do not exist separately from real life, she is the creation of a writer, and I would like to remind everyone this show is created by a man.
The way she is written is so influenced by misogyny. She is written to be the Slut, a backstabbing bitch, obsessed with her personal appearance and pitted against another woman, her best friend. In season one the line that stuck with me is “she fell in love with every man she dated,” her desperation for male approval comes from her father’s absence. She was raised very differently than the way Lexi was, her mom always empathized that it was her beauty that mattered. She was sexualized from a very young age,, do you remember that sequence of her male family members feeling her up? Her mother is emotionally negligent of both her daughters--she straight up believes her own daughter is a slut.
It feels like this season forgot all of that. It flattened Cassie into one-dimension and built up to this “girl fight” between her and Maddy. Nate is a narcissistic abuser, he manipulates, he blackmails. Cassie is another one of his victims. When she says that she doesn’t care if everyone hates her, she says “at least I am loved.”
I don’t get why ppl think Lexi’s play is okay or epic, picking apart her sister and her friends’ lives is messed up. And it has to be one of the most self-absorbed things I’ve seen. Everyone knows about Cassie and her sex-scapades. She is slut-shamed and has had nudes leaked, something that is traumatizing. The way she writes “Hallie” is very different than how she wrote everyone else. She further sexualizes her. I don’t blame Cassie for losing her mind. How would you feel if someone created a whole play where you were a character and spent the whole play humiliating you? I would go insane. Lexi’s play was mean-spirited, and it is so fucked up the way her mom was cheering the whole time. She’s the judge, the jury, and so self-righteous. Cassie is the one getting hurt, and Lexi didn’t even consider that. Lexi’s feelings may be valid, but it’s no excuse to be callous. Cassie is no worse than anyone else in the show.
Cassie hive vs Maddy hive? shut up and think critically for five seconds. Think: why is the narrative framing Cassie like this? Why is she the only who empathy isn’t extended to? Do you think that maybe real world misogyny could have something to do with the way she’s portrayed? Rue’s done fucked up things too, awful things--but most ppl are able to see the nuance in her character.
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