truth is, things are not always fair

a reminder

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” Ralph Waldo Emerson #quote

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” Ralph Waldo Emerson Another handwriting practice using my calligraphy pen 🖋️✍️

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Virginia Woolf’s Handwritten Suicide Note: A Painful and Poignant Farewell (1941)

[Dearest,

I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.]

Her suicide note, written to her husband Leonard, is a haunting and beautiful document, in all its unadorned sincerity behind which much turmoil and anguish lie. you can hear a dramatic reading of Woolf’s note, such a wrenching missive because it is not a farewell to the world at large, but rather to a trusted friend and lover.

我赢了。 I won. - 我与他十年前海上一战，赢了他半招他却死了。 I fought him on the sea ten years ago and won by half a move, but he died. -你说既然笛飞声没有死，那李相夷一定还活着对不对？ since di feisheng is not dead, it must mean that li xiangyi is still alive, right? - 我快死了...你不惜一切代价却救不了我。// 好不容易救你出来，你可不能死。 I am dying...you have done everything no matter the costs yet you couldn't save me. // I saved you after much difficulty, you can't die. 君武勇之处，世所罕见，心悦诚服。 your valiance is unparalleled in this world. to which I am wholeheartedly convinced.

dihua + a matter of life and death | 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook

"Dearest, I am getting very depressed about myself."

- Franz Kafka

Oscar Wilde

No matter what, you have to live by your own actions.

Flowers and handwritten letters >>>>

Libraryoflanie

I fear that I will be ripped open and found unsightly.

- Anne Sexton, A Self-Potrait in Letters

writing really helps heal my soul

surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don't see it yourself.

july 2023 / archived

If I could do it all in one web—

draw you—

catch you—

transfix you—

strengthen you—

free you—

then I would not kill you,

but eternalize you

in a place where hope survives,

in the dews that cling to strings,

that reflect your valuable lives,

producing diviner things.

🕸️

voice notes, handwritten letters, good morning texts, book pressed flowers, stargazing, watching sunsets together, dancing in the rain <333