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3mcwriting · 1 year

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Any Fan's Dream, Part 10

Any Fan's Dream Masterlist

Synopsis:

When you look around and see Avengers Tower in front of you and Peter Parker beside you, you wonder how the hell you managed to get into the MCU.

Taglist: @secretly-sirens, @zeeader, @imdoingathingmom, @x-theolivia, @ainsley-official, @huntress-artemiss, @hoohoohope, @ourgoddessathena, @wiintaersoldier, @vine-enthusiast, @afraidofshrimp

Sorry if I missed anyone, please just message me again and I'll add you.

You grabbed the bags containing your clothes, pulling them out of the luggage compartment. Once you had all your belongings, you exited the jet, you following Tony, while Natasha followed behind you.

You looked around, taking in the foreign surroundings with interest as you ventured toward the building Tony had just entered. You were lucky to have been captivated by the unfamiliar area, mind finally straying from the situation it had been stuck on for the last few hours.

The distraction was welcomed, anything better than the nerves that had wracked you since your attempt at consolation with Steve.

"Hey," Natasha's voice caught your attention, you looked at the woman.

"Hey," you responded readily. You adjusted the strap of your duffel, accidentally making it more uncomfortable and causing you to switch it to your other shoulder.

The two of you walked into the building, the pristine lobby your first impression of the hotel. It was beautiful, the architecture, the large windows, everything was jaw-dropping. Peculiarly, it was an empty room. That was weird because such a bougie place should be crawling with rich people.

The only person you could see was the clerk at the desk. He was busy conversing with Tony, you assumed that Tony was checking all of you in.

"Uh, where is everyone?" you asked Natasha, perplexed by the emptiness.

"Everyone?" Natasha looked at you curiously, before she realized what you meant. "Oh, Tony owns this hotel. He closed it for the month so that we could stay here without worrying about the public or the the press."

"He owns this place?"

Really, you shouldn't have been surprised. Tony was rich-rich and you knew he had more than enough money to own a hotel, but...there had never been any mention of hotels in all your Marvel digging. It was possible you had forgotten something, but you were almost positive that nothing in the MCU had ever stated that Tony owned a hotel.

That unexpected piece of information startled you, making you uneasy at the fact that although you knew an insane amount of the MCU, you only knew the information the movies had given away. You knew nothing about anything that wasn't depicted in the movies.

"Yep." Natasha said, popping the 'p'. "We should go pick our rooms."

You followed her, looking around with newfound appreciation as you did so.

You placed your luggage on the floor beside the large wardrobe, setting the bags down unceremoniously. You looked at the large room, well, it wasn't actually that large when compared to the other hotel rooms, but it was still about 3 times the size of your bedroom.

It was a pretty room. Large bed, elegant furniture, beautiful windows that looked out over a gorgeous courtyard. The walls a pale gray with gentle wisps of blue, green, and purple, flowing softly across the walls like a colorful breeze.

Despite the peaceful surroundings, the charming room, and the birds chirping outside of the window, your mind was in a whirlwind.

The cause of your mental unrest?

Your earlier talk with Steve.

He had been sad, of course he had been, it wasn't easy to lose someone you loved.

Just the thought of him made your thoughts go back to the talk.

You looked at the mourning man, gaze sweeping over his form. "I-" you stopped as Steve's piercing eyes raised to meet yours. You were painfully out of your depth, hesitant and unsure about what to say and how to act.

Swallowing, you continued, "I'm- I, I just think that today the whole world should mourn, because one of the greatest, strongest, people on this planet is gone, and she left a tremendous mark on so many people."

Some of those people weren't even in her universe and she managed to inspire them. You were, by no means, the only woman from your world to find solace and strength in the wonderful woman.

"She was...amazing." You meant every word you were saying. "The kind of person people aspire to be."

Your voice lowered, speaking at barely a murmur. "The kind of person I aspire to be."

"She was so...wonderful," he spoke, looking past you like he was watching his memories play out behind you. "Peggy had an unshakable sense of courage, one that was backed up by her stubbornness. She always did what she thought was right, shaking off anyone else's attempts at making her do something she knew was wrong. Her bravery...you know she was the reason I managed to do all that I did?"

You nodded, you knew that. You remembered how she had encouraged Steve to make a difference, not let the government use him as a corny advertisement for money. She helped forge the real Captain America. Without her, he might never have become that person, that hero, and that would've led to a world without Cap, allowing Hydra to win, and leading the world to ruin.

"She pushed me," he looked down, eyes on his fingers. "If she hadn't been there, I never would've become anything more than the government's dancing monkey. She made me better...without Peggy, I would've never accomplished what I did."

Steve met your eyes, sorrow in his eyes. "I...I loved her. I still do." He looked around. "But I'm too late. I was too damn late. And now I'm alone."

His voice cracked at the end, broken like his heart. He choked back a sob, unwilling to break down in front of you. You could see the glassy sheen of his eyes, you knew what he was doing. Your heart ached for the man who had done so much and lost everything from his time, to his love.

You didn't know if it was your place, and you knew that in this world, you shouldn't know what you did. But that didn't stop the words that came out of your mouth. "She loved you, too."

"Her loss is horrible, and painful, and a cruel ending." You stared at him, willing yourself to meet his eyes. "But you are not alone. So many people care about you, Steve. Please don't forget that."

He smiled weakly, unconvincingly.

You wanted to say something that would make it all better. But nothing would make it all better. Not your words. Not a hug. Peggy was gone, and you couldn't do anything about that. Steve was heartbroken, grieving, a couple words from you wasn't going to change anything.

A knock at your door interrupted your thoughts, pulling you away from that moment and back into the present.

"Come in," you said, grabbing your bag and rifling through it to make it look like you hadn't just been standing there listlessly for the past five minutes.

Natasha entered your room, watching as you continued to scramble through your luggage. "What're you doing?"

You stood up straight, stopping your actions. "Just looking for my charger."

"It's right there," Natasha pointed to your charger, which was very clearly hanging out of the pocket of your other bag.

"Oh," you scratched your head, "I'm dumb."

You grabbed the charger, and turned to plug it into the electrical socket beside the nightstand. You slid your phone out of your pocket, plugging it onto the charger to keep up the charade.

You turned back to face Natasha. "So...what did you need?" You didn't like that phrasing though, "I mean- not that you would need something. But I was just wondering why you were in here- not that you're not welcome in here, but-" you gave up, knowing you could go on forever if you continued.

Natasha chuckled, "I came in here to ask if you wanted to eat outrageously over-priced food with me on the outrageously comfy couch, while watching outrageously stupid movies." Each 'outrageously' was spoken with humor, but her offer was sincere.

"Sounds outrageously fun," you replied. "I would be outrageously stupid to deny."

"You are outrageously correct," Natasha commended, then left the room, beckoning you to follow her.

You did so after a few moments of hesitation.

You and Natasha had claimed one of the suites, one that had two bedrooms(both had its own connected bathroom), a giant living room, and a kitchen so nice you wondered if Gordon Ramsay was going to be cooking.

Settling onto the large couch, you looked, wide-eyed, at the various plates of food on the coffee table.

"We're in Vienna," Natasha shrugged, "you might as well get all the native foods." She brightened. "Later, once we finish this, I got all your favorites over there." She pointed to the stack of snacks in the corner, your eyes latching onto the familiar labels and items.

OhmygoshNatashaRomanoffboughtmemyfavoritesnacksahhhhhhshe'ssoamazingIlovehersomuchhhhh!

"This is awesome," you said, sincerely. You were still occupied with if what you had said was the right thing to say to Steve(dammit the whole 'having-no-friends-in-your-home-world' thing was really coming back to bite you in the ass), but Natasha had set up this whole thing and she deserved your full attention.

The two of you spent the next half-hour feasting on the countless delicious dishes Natasha had bought, enjoying every second. There was some horror movie on, the people being stupid(as horror movie people tend to be), and you were yelling at the TV for the idiocy they were displaying.

Natasha looked over at you as you almost spit out your food when a character made (another) particularly dumb decision. She smiled, glad that you had managed to relax and enjoy the moment. She set her eyes back on the TV screen, a smile crossing her face every time you yelled at the television.

You felt someone shake your shoulder, but ignored them, burrowing deeper into the comfy couch. When they did it again, you shifted, still not getting up. You felt the blanket be pulled off you, but you only cuddled deeper into the couch, not letting something as small as that disturb your beautiful, wonderful, sleep.

You faintly heard something about drastic measures, but your drowsy mind ignored it in favor of sleep.

That was a mistake.

You jolted abruptly, managing to knock yourself off the couch. Laying on the floor, your head pulsing softly with pain, you groaned, cursing the world.

AC/DC's "Shoot to Thrill" had blasted through the suite, causing your startling wake-up.

Which meant you knew exactly who had done it.

Natasha snickered, watching in amusement as Tony protested his innocence. You were having none of it, clearly not believing a single word coming out of his mouth.

"That was AC/DC!" you yelled.

"That doesn't mean it was me!" Tony retorted.

"Props for the prank, but did you really have to choose to wake me up? Why couldn't you just change the sugar and salt like a normal person?"

"I didn't do it!" Tony again tried to convince you. He turned to look at Natasha for backup, noticing the smile on her face.

His jaw dropped. "It was you!" he yelled, pointing at the woman with the Cheshire Cat grin.

You looked at Nat, only seeing her face looking faintly amused. "What are you talking about? AC/DC is your thing!"

"And she knew that! She exploited it!

"Uh huh, sure."

Natasha snorted, deciding to cut Tony a break. "It was me."

"Ha! I told you!" Tony triumphant.

Your eyes widened. "How could you? I trusted you. You will pay for this."

Natasha heard the threat. "Do your worst, babe."

"Oh, I will."

And that's why Tony's hotel wouldn't be opening again for three months. A floor had been demolished, all due to a prank war.

You looked around, eyes wide.

You were there. Standing in the same building you had seen through a television screen countless times before, the building where the Sokovia Accords were to be ratified, with Natasha Romanoff beside you.

Your eyes roved the people, looking for a certain king.

You were determined to prevent the tragedy that had happened in the movie, unwilling to allow a wise and noble man be killed all in the of revenge. Not even revenge on him. He was just an unlucky death, caught in the crosshairs of a man's rage.

You walked with Natasha, knowing that she would eventually talk to T'Challa. You really needed to find him before then, though. You were worried about acting too late.

But you also couldn't tell anyone about the bomb. There was no reason to believe you, and once it happened, all eyes would turn to you in suspicion.

You couldn't change anything from a prison cell.

You needed to somehow manage to stop the bomb, or get everyone away from the blast area, all o your own.

You pondered the thought, wondering if you could just pull the fire alarm, but you didn't think that would work. You needed a plan though, and you needed one quick.

Dread began to build up in you as you looked around and saw the prince approaching you and Natasha, knowing that the moment was getting closer just as he was. You began to chew on your lip nervously, before having to consciously force yourself to stop. You tore your eyes away from the approaching man, trying to make yourself look inconspicuous(you were almost positive you were failing miserably).

T'Challa and Natasha had a talk very similar to the one in the movie, making your nerves rise. There was nothing particularly bad about the conversation, but you couldn't help the panic building as the seconds ticked by and the explosion grew closer.

How could you stop the explosion?

Countless thoughts flew through your mind, each one discarded almost immediately. You needed a plan. You needed a fucking plan. Panic(which had become a very familiar acquaintance) had your breathing quickening, eyes darting around in a frenzy.

You tried to break yourself out of that frenzy when you noticed that the two were looking at you, Natasha worried, and T'Challa confused.

"Are you okay, (y/n)?" Natasha asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

You forced a smile. "Yeah, sorry. It's just- there are so many important people here, what if I do something and get like, arrested for unintentionally insulting a prime minister or something?"

"Umm," you looked at T'Challa, "speaking of important people, it's a pleasure to meet you, your highness."

You wished that you could have the time to fangirl, that the situation was different. But catastrophe was closing in and you couldn't let it hit.

"You too...?" T'Challa responded, prompting you for your name.

"Oh, I'm (y/n)(l/n)."

"(y/n) is Tony's little protégé," Natasha explained, "and a close friend of mine."

Your heart squeezed at that.

Unfortunately, it almost stopped at what you saw next.

You could see the the king approaching the dais, getting ready for his speech.

Wait- no. This wasn't supposed to happen. In the movie he approached Natasha too! Oh shit oh shit oh shit-

Sometime in your panicking, you had failed to notice the amount of time passing, which led to this.

And now you were worried as fuck.

The seconds were ticking by like the timer on a nuke, the metaphor all-too-fitting for the situation.

You were getting antsy, worried when it was going to happen.

You couldn't take it.

You excused yourself from Natasha and T'halla, telling them that you weren't feeling good.

And then you did it.

You pulled the fire alarm.

Instantaneously, the alarm went out, blaring and flashing red lights across the building. Someone screamed, and people began to panic, mulling around in chaos. You hurried back to see the king looking around in worry, you ran to him, hoping to get him out of there before the explosion.

You were close.

So close.

Then the explosion went off.

And you dove, knocking the podium over in your panic and the king with it.

There was smoke and yelling and flames, but in a moment, they were gone.

Darkness enveloped you.

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peachysooxo · 5 days

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The Last Time - Chapter 1

pairing: kyungsoo x mila (OFC) genre: angst, romance, drama theme: lovers to enemies to lovers again? (Possibly), marriage in trouble word count: 3,086 warnings: cursing, mentions of self harm, implied smut, sad kyungsoo, depressed kyungsoo description: Kyungsoo has been separated from Mila for a year. He’s had enough of faking their happy marriage for the public. He finds comfort in old home movies and memories of their past as he tries to figure out what to do with the divorce papers he was served.

author’s note: hello! welcome to the romantic universe! I have worked on this particular story for over a year and FINALLY, it’s going to be yours! I am so excited for you to meet the characters and follow their journey. The graphic at the top of the chapter will serve as time markers between “now” (present day) and “then” (the past) before each chapter. A huge, HUGE thank you to @loeyyuniverse for being my beta reader and giving me so many ideas. I couldn’t have done this without you 🩵 if you like the story, please leave a like and feel free to reblog. Also, I found these amazing dividers by @saradika-graphics that I will be using in all of my stories from now on! Now… I give to you… The Last Time (:

- Aria

Malibu, California KYUNGSOO

I stare out into the vast open sky from my living room floor, the sunset paints beautiful colors that canvas the atmosphere above the rolling waves of the Pacific Ocean. I can get lost in moments like this, when everything is calm and makes a little more sense than it did before. I get surrounded by everything around me: the sunset that changes the color of the sky, the slow, breathy wind, the sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shore, the slow appearance of red clouds and the moon getting brighter and brighter in the distance.

Slowly, effortlessly, the yellows become the golden flecks in her gorgeous eyes. The wind is her touch, soft and sends chills down my spine. The reds are her lips when she gets ready for date nights, putting on lipstick just for me. Even though she didn’t need it, she looked so spectacular in that shade of red. The waves are the promises we made, consistently rolling back to me to remind me that I failed to keep so many of them. Being here in this kind of scene just isn’t the same without her.

I watched my wife, Mila, walk out of the door and never turn back due to my own stupidity and careless mistakes. I haven’t slept well since she left. I haven’t been able to eat on some days. Nothing in my life feels right anymore. What makes this separation even worse is that we’re not going public with it. We maintain appearances for the sake of our careers, but it’s hard to tell now if we’re just pretending or if there’s real feelings behind our actions.

Our vacation home in Malibu looks out onto the shore, for the times we needed to get away from it all and spend time together. Tonight is my last night here before I have to fly back home to New York and I wish I could stay here longer. It’s the closest thing that I have to being with her. Everywhere I turn, there’s pieces of Mila in every single thing and I don’t know if I can handle it anymore. The last year has been hell without her.

Watching old home videos of us together has to be a form of self harm, but this is the only way I can see her smile. My eyes are glued to the screen as memories play out from different points in our relationship. From moving in to our first apartment together after we got married. From traveling to Korea to see my family. Waking up in Spain on our European tour together to staying up late in the studio. I’ve replayed the honeymoon videos over and over, mesmerized as the events play out on screen. We were so young, Mila was 20 and I was 22. I need to be honest with myself, it wasn’t a honeymoon… It was our elopement at Mila’s grandparent’s ranch in Mexico. We stayed in the guest house on the ranch, and it was the happiest we’d ever been.

"Come here." My voice whines from the TV.

"No! Why are you recording us? It’s so weird!" Mila giggles. I grab the phone and the focus is Mila sitting with her leg tucked under her with cheeks tinted pink.

"Look at you, Angel." I breathe, calling her by her nickname. “You’re so gorgeous and you just woke up.”

“Soo!” Mila blushes. She tries to cover her face but I won’t let her.

“Don’t hide your gorgeous face from me.”

Her grandmother’s engagement ring and wedding band on her left hand glimmers on screen. The rays of morning light filter into the room and it can’t even compare to her smile. She didn’t need to try at all, she just naturally glowed. I love it when she’s this way, no makeup, hair down and only wearing my t shirt.

I pull Mila by her waist into the frame and kiss her, my arm protectively still around her. I tease her by tracing her lips with mine and smile between kisses, placing her into my lap. I lean and prop the phone on the bedside table and we're in full view on the bed. Mila’s fingers run through my hair, something she did when we’d be intimate like this. Her smile fades as she wraps her arms around my neck.

“Soo… I’m worried. I’m scared that us running off and getting married is going to make things worse with my father and brother.” Mila expresses. I press my forehead against hers, holding her tight in my arms.

"Listen to me. No matter what happens, my heart is yours. Angel, we’re married. Nothing can separate us. Not Sungho, not Chanyeol, no one. I know that we both took a risk when we didn’t tell Chanyeol that we were just dating. He’s your brother and my best friend. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to keep that from him. You’re everything to me, my best friend, my life. All I care about is that you’re happy with this decision. They’ll come around, we just have to give it time.” I say lowly.

Mila nods her head, her hands glide down my shoulder to my forearms.

“I hope Chanyeol will come around, him and I are close and I never expected he’d react in the way he did. With my father… He may take longer but it’ll be okay. I’m beyond happy. This feels so right, Soo.” Mila smiles again, and it’s a personal victory that she’s glowing again. “I just… Don’t know how I feel about you filming us in bed. It’s kind of…”

“Angel, stop. This is for our memories. This is our honeymoon. I had to document just how gorgeous you are when you wake up in the morning. You take my breath away.” I whisper, caressing her face. She tilts her head to fit her cheek in the palm of my hand.

"This is like a dream. I don’t want to go back to reality.” Our eye contact is strong, it never deviates from one another. I run my fingers through her hair and cup her face in my hands.

We fall into a deep kiss, molding ourselves to each other. We break slowly and a fire is ablaze in her eyes, full of want. She pushes me down onto the bed, I roll over until I’m on top of her.

“Look at me.” I straighten her gaze back to me by guiding her jaw back to face me. I lean down and kiss her velvety soft lips, my hand slides down to her throat. My fingers gently massage the sides of her throat, her back arches off of the bed. My hand slides down to her side and I squeeze her closer to me. Her soft whimpers fill the room as my lips roam her jaw and down her neck. I stop at her shoulder and smirk into the camera.

“Mila, you’ll never forget this.” I say into the camera and nip her collarbone. She shrieks and holds onto me tighter. Before we go further, Mila grabs the phone and laughs.

“Nice try, Mr. Doh.”

We laugh and she cuddles into me, stopping the recording.

I turn the TV off. Seeing my wife smile like that is something I haven’t seen in a long time. Tears threaten my eyes as the moon glows brighter. Now there’s nothing left but reminders that she’s not mine anymore. I shouldn’t have been working so much, prioritizing everything else over her, or even worse… I shouldn’t have been such a jealous monster. Being young and stupid, I’d bubble over with jealousy if a man just as much as gazed at her.

To be fair, Mila is a beautiful woman inside and out. She’s so selfless, humble and never afraid to be herself. Mila is known around the world for her music, to say she’s talented is an understatement. Watching her onstage is like a dream, she bursts to life when she performs. The entire world gets to see a glimpse of the woman that I am so proud to call my wife.

Her physical beauty is just a bonus. Her sun kissed skin has to be infused with gold, her plump lips can render me speechless with just one kiss, I could lose myself in her gorgeous eyes forever. Her smile brightens the entire world around her. Her body is a gift from God, effortless curves that would hypnotize me the moment she’d walk into a room. She’s everything I ever wanted in a woman, everything about her is perfect.

It was never a secret that men pined over her and how gorgeous she is, even though they knew she was married to me. I never got my jealousy in check, something she never deserved. I was certain every man she came across wanted her the way I wanted her and would take her from me. I was certain that it made me crazy. It was so bad that we started to fight all of the time about it, those fights turned into fights about our relationship, our future together, and how we failed at connecting due to our busy schedules.

One day, she finally had enough and she left.

I open the sliding glass door to listen to the waves. I wait for Mila’s arms to hug me into her embrace and when it doesn’t come, my heart splinters. I handled winter and spring without her, but summer reminded me how much worse it is that we’re separated. I want to see her more than just on red carpets and public appearances. At night, it gets worse. The loneliness settles in much more when I can feel and see her side of the bed is empty. Everything she is takes shape in the view in front of me.

“Mila… I miss you…” I whisper into the night air. The stars and moon start to sway and my vision clouds over. I rub my temples and turn my back to the ocean, glancing over at the divorce papers on the counter. I wrecked my brain relentlessly over what made Mila want a divorce. Why didn’t she want to work this out like we have before? I didn’t cheat on her, I didn’t ever lay a hand on her and I didn’t lie to her or kept anything from her.

We could work on our problems easily, if she’d just allow it. Our last fight was the worst one, I can’t even remember what words were exchanged but that didn’t matter. What haunted me was that I made her cry. Something I swore I’d never do. I wanted to fix it and Mila wanted nothing to do with me.

Divorce.

This is not how I expected our relationship to end. I didn’t want it to end at all. I have to prove it to her that I’m going to change, I just don’t know how to start.

I collapse onto the couch, closing my eyes to continue the memory the week we spent together on the ranch when we got married. Mila and I were in bed, cuddled up during one of our late nights talking and watching movies. Mila’s fingers dance across my chest, her eyes heavy with fatigue.

“Promise me something, Soo.” She whispered, gazing up at me.

“Yes, Angel?”

“Promise me that no matter what happens, we’ll never give up. We’ll never separate. Even if times get difficult, I don’t want to give up.” Mila pleads with her eyes.

“I promise you, Mila. I’ll never give up on you or us. If we somehow get lost or strained… We’ll fix it. I’ll fight for you until the very end, that’s my promise to you.” I reply, kissing her forehead.

“I’ll fight for you too. I’ll fight for us. Marriage is so different from just dating. You and I are in this together for life. I know I’m stubborn. I know I’m difficult to deal with, I’ll do better.” Mila smirks. I laugh and pin her under me, my forearms are on either side of her head.

“Your attitude is very easy to deal with. You’re a brat sometimes but it’s nothing I can’t handle.” I laugh, kissing her slowly. “But you’re mine, whether you like it or not.”

“I love it. I love you.” Mila smiles.

I kiss her mouth and cheeks, nodding. “And I love you, Angel.”

The memory fades as quick as it came. Everything she said that night resounds in my head. I can’t sit here and feel sorry for myself. Mila made me promise her that I’d fight for her, and that we’d never separate. It’s my fault she pushed away, it’s my fault she doesn’t want to be near me. I have to fight for her, I have to keep my promise.

The first thing I decided to do is not sign the papers. If Mila wants a fight, that’s what she’s going to get. I can’t take her just being a memory that I can see in the world around me. There’s no use in pitying myself anymore, either. I force myself up, shuffling around the house to find a notepad and a pen of paper. Once I find it in the dresser of the bedroom we used to share, I sit down on the bed and start writing. This is going to be a long fight, a long road but it’s one I have to take to get my wife back. I’m probably never going to get the courage to say everything that I need to, so I resort to writing a letter to Mila that she’ll never read.

Dear Mila,

Hi.

I’m writing you from Malibu, our beach house. I came here just to get away from everything in New York. The Grammy’s are coming up, are you excited about it? I am so proud of you for being nominated and performing. You’ve been dreaming of this your whole life and it’s finally coming true. I’ll be attending… I hope I can see you at some point in the night.

To be honest, I woke up this morning and felt lost again. I had the same nightmare of you leaving and fell down a rabbit hole of memories and home movies. I made coffee this morning and I saw two mugs: red and lavender.

Seeing it broke me.

Lavender is your favorite color, how stupid is it that I get emotional over a coffee mug? Believe it or not, everything reminds me of you. I see reminders of you in everything. The sunset that’s painting the sky right now. The bed still smells like your shampoo, strawberries and vanilla. Our memories live in the walls… I feel and see you everywhere and it’s killing me.

It’s still hard for me to accept that you really want to end this. I can’t delusion myself into believing that if I were to call you, you’d pick up and take me back, let alone talk to me.

So, I have to tell you everything I feel in this letter that you’ll never read.

I never stopped loving you, despite what I may have said, shown or done. It’s you who holds my heart. I’m sorry that I made you feel like I didn’t care. I never knew how to express all of these emotions. Since the day I met you, you made my heart flutter. The sound of your voice was the most beautiful music that I never knew existed. No song on this planet can compare to how your voice sounds to me.

Your lips and your body hypnotize me and made me surrender to your love. Your kisses are my life support, your arms are my security, my home. Making love to you gives me a high that no drug could even come close to. You gave me so much support and comfort, Mila. Anytime I had doubts, anxiety or felt unsure, you were at my side, telling me it was all going to be okay and work out. I know for certain that no one or nothing else could compare to you. You’re the piece of me that I didn’t know was missing.

I can never see marrying you in the way that we did as a mistake or wrong. You made me feel things that I’ve never felt before and it was exciting, it felt right that you were mine and I was yours. I just wasn’t the best version of myself, the husband that you deserved. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you, I wasn’t myself at all. If I did things the right way, if I listened, we could have been together today, I wouldn’t be writing this letter. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I admit I messed it all up.

Now… There’s something else that you need to know, my sweet Angel. I’m not signing the papers. There is no way I am allowing us to throw away so many years that we were happy. I’m sorry I didn’t express the love I had in my heart for you the way you deserved it. I promised I’d fight for you, and this is the beginning of that fight. I won’t give up on us, Angel. Soon, we won’t pretend for the sake of the cameras anymore. Your smile won’t be fake. I’ll make you happy again.

I love you, Mila.

I’m sorry.

Sincerely,

Soo

I fold the letter and stuff it into an envelope. I stuff it in the bottom of my backpack and groan softly, my bags are packed and ready to go for the trip back home. With every second that goes by, I realize more and more exactly how much that I messed up such a beautiful thing.

I look up and see the photos on the wall, my eyes fix on the picture of Mila and I at our debut showcase on Jeju Island in 2012. We were so young, stars in our eyes and the world at our feet. That night changed so many things for us, and I like to think that’s exactly where we began. I get up and allow myself to lay on the bed, allowing the memory to take me into its arms and walk me through the night I knew I was in love with my wife all those years ago.

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sweetfirebird · 5 months

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*boops you gently and respectfully* A Suitable Consort is a massive comfort read for me, it is so gentle and lovely, and people not understanding their worth or position in other people's lives is so personal and beautiful to me. Please never stop writing because I love your work, and ASC is probably in my top five book ever so, you know.

People sometimes get a little cranky about author tropes, how every author has favorites and does them a lot... maybe too much. (Although those people are still reading them, so, there's a real Devil's Sacrament situation happening there but anyway.) But honestly, I really like exploring...not just insecure people in general but people who have insecurities about specific things, like their place in the world or in their families. Like (I know no one read TTC but as an example,) Trevor is not really insecure. He knows his art is good, but he lives in a world where it's never going to pay him enough to be "successful" as his family sees it and that takes a toll. And showing that, and how it affects him, and his place within the family and his confidence... and how he is still loved and can make his own family... idk I just like it. I'm going to keep doing it and oh well too bad so sad for those who are tired of it.

Mattin is, in the grand scheme of things, insignificant, and (in the words of whoever wrote the movie Gigi) does not have a world-famous sort of nature. He got a first hand lesson in how expendable even noble lives can be, and while I do think he is cute, he's not drop dead gorgeous or anything. He's good at his job but also... many people in that library are good at their jobs. He knows all of that. And he is surrounded by fucking *legends.* Like, if you've ever been around someone with all the skills or charisma or brilliance, it is a definite experience even if you're fine with yourself as you are.

He's not wrong when he describes himself as he does. But, like all of us, he can't really see how others view him. (He's loyal. He sticks, like Mil says. He's honest and probably incapable of lying well. He's quite talented and smart and his employees love him--that alone says a lot. And Arden and Mil think he is very fuckable.) And, all the drama and armor and political murder aside, it's a love story. That is, it's not about them falling in love, they're all clearly already in love at the start. It's about them showing their love for each other. You are worth everything to me and I will protect you is being said by all of them to each other all the time, just in differing ways and not out loud.

Anyway. I'm sort of at a loose end today for various reasons and kind of down, so this was a nice ask to get. I was scared it was going to be a spam bot, since they keep sending me barely coherent messages. Thank you for the nice mail and also for not being a bot trying to proposition me. :)

#asks #a suitable consort (for the king and his husband)

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jennilah · 4 months

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2023 Wrap-Up!

Every NYE I spend some time going over my diary and reflecting on all of the good and bad that happened over the year. Its nice diving in and seeing what the real highlights were, and just having a moment to go over it all

Like every year, I don't want you to compare your life to mine. I encourage your own reflection and I genuinely hope you find your own happy highlights ♥ every happy thing, big or small, is worthy

I definitely didn't top last year as the Best Year Fucking Ever, but I tried!

I tried.. too hard!

I overloaded myself with slightly too many fun things, I think. The fun was definitely FUN, but I booked so many events that it got a bit overwhelming at times. This year was characterized by chaos and uncertainty and just getting wild and wacky with it, and having a shit ton of anxiety nearly the whole time! woo!

there were so many entries this year just completely laced with nervous wreck energy. It's kind of a miracle I was able to wrestle it all.

Okay.

Apparently, according to the ole diary, I started off the year incredibly stressed about work, and oh yeah... yeah, yep, I remember now. I was working on by-far the most stressful film of my life and that's precisely when I became a full-blown stoner LMAO. I won't elaborate more.

Holy fuck I went to the movies a LOT. There were so many bangers this year that I often saw things twice. I went a total of 29 times, unless I missed any other time I'm forgetting. In addition to that, I kept going with watching slasher films on my own, which I still thoroughly enjoy even if they're taking a backseat to Saw right now.

I had a HANDFUL of exciting releases this year! Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, Landscape With Invisible Hand, Monarch: Legacy of Monsters, and Napoleon! Each one was a completely different experience to work on, but each one was special in its own way. Every day I wake up and I am fucking thrilled that this is my job, this is my life.

I went to a Muse concert which was definitely a highlight of the year, it was so fucking awesome, and now they're up there amongst my very few other favorite bands.

One of my best friends in the world, my old college roommate, came up and visited me for a few days in Montreal. We had a lot of fun together and I can't wait for the next time I hang out with her- hopefully much sooner than 6 years :D (but really, it felt like no time passed since I last saw her.)

Then my parents moved out of my childhood home pretty suddenly. It was partially a mid-life crisis, but it was actually a blessing. They were starting to feel really cooped up and everything was changing around them. The beautiful woods that surrounded the home were slowly getting torn down and replaced by construction and power generators. It was really sad to see the place where I grew up slowly become cold and industrial and unrecognizable.

But now? Now they have the lake house of their dreams. It's gorgeous, and its a hit with the whole family. Also, in our old house, we were so secluded from the rest of the town. Now, they are already popular in the new neighborhood and everyone already knows their names and invite them to all of the local lake parties. As caring, outgoing people, I think they really needed this. They finally feel like they're a part of a tight-knit community, which our old town didn't really have.

Also: LAKE!

They grew up on Long Island, and all of my family is on Long Island, so I think a part of us always belonged to the ocean. The water always called me, too. They bought a boat in 2 seconds flat and are really enjoying living on the water again, and I get to live vicariously through them every time I visit home.

But first- Between the new house and the INDUSTRY STRIKES (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA) upturning just about everything around me, I, just like my parents, needed to take hold of my life and start changing things too. I was feeling mentally cooped-up and kind of exploded.

I really loved my last studio, but after a series of some really extreme layoffs, it was also becoming unrecognizable. I wanted to try something new, so taking a leap of faith in the middle of really unreliable industry times, I decided to say a very tearful goodbye and join a new studio.

It has been a really positive change so far. I really enjoy it there, and I am meeting so many new amazing people that I am having a lot of fun working with, and I think I am performing pretty well there too. The atmosphere is also very nice, and the projects are really cool. I can see myself working there for a very long time! We'll see!

In addition to quitting my job and starting a new one as a wild new change, I also started getting TATTOOS. Just fuckin decided to GO FOR IT- and now look at me, addicted. I already have three, and next week I start my half sleeve! We're only getting STARTED. I want to be a canvas for other people's beautiful art, which is something I've been wanting to do for yearssss.

I made a new cosplay, Michael Myers :) It is also some of the most fun I've had cosplaying in a long time- people LOVE him. Kids, blushing women, grown men, everyone! I can't wait to wear it again next con season.

I tabled at Montreal Comic Con, which was.... an experience. Not a super positive one, but it was fine. It was definitely a memory I made, lmao. (The people I met were the best part! ♥♥)

I still need to make that Etsy page so I can sell my leftovers (yeahhhhh)

Between jobs, I got a whole MONTH off to do whatever I wanted, so I spent it watching movies, going home to visit the new lake house, and getting more tattoos.

Before the new job, I attended Osheaga again. I only went for one day and got ridiculously high and spent most of it hiding in a tent, crawling back to planet Earth. I still had a lot of fun though- I just don't think I'll be getting high at Igloofest in February. I learned my lesson.

I went to a wedding! I love weddings! It was a lovely wedding! And I got to see many of my college friends again for the first time since graduating, which was just so nice and it made me really happy.

Then I went to LA! WOOOOOOOOOOO This was by far the most fun Ive had traveling in my life yet, that whole trip was so much fun. I have to go back one day, there was so much I have still yet to see. I got to see another one of my best friends from college again, the Tar Pits, DisneyLand, museums, and go to Halloween: 45 Years of Terror, which was so much fun!!!!!

Then I got back from the trip and got really into Saw, which has been obvious lmao. WOops! You never know what the ole autism will latch onto!

Having a new fandom to enjoy is always its own bundle of fun. And because of it, I was able to book tickets to Saw: The Musical for when I went home for christmas. As you know because I talked about it literally two days ago, I saw it with my cousins and we all had a bucket full of fun. It was really nice getting to spend time with them alone without the rest of the family and truly just bond as cousins- I dont have siblings, they are the closest thing to it for me. I adore them.

And now... I am home... and I am happily SITTING STILL!!!

I kind of overbooked my year and it left me feeling a little more overwhelmed than I meant to. I am definitely more of a homebody than this round-up suggests.

Next year, I will still continue to push myself to go out and do exciting things, but maybe not so back-to-back!!!!

It also didn't help that this year there were a few really stressful family health moments which are still ongoing and affecting me. It's rough and still happening in the background. Next year might be really difficult, and I will have to more heavily lean on my support systems. I am just thankful I have them

Also, I didnt realize how many times this year I reconnected in-person with my college friends who I havent seen in years. That was so nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope I get to see even more of my long time friends next year.

This entry is all over the place, lmao

I think thats it!!

#personal #jennilargh

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disregardcanon · 3 months

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just got done watching the 50th anniversary touring production of jesus christ superstar. here are The Thoughts

i've watched either the movie or a different bootleg of jcs during the week of easter for the past 8 years. i LOVE jcs and am very familiar with the material, so this was not a first for me except for seeing it live

i'm not sure if the setup for the staging was unique, but there were 3 big parts: 2 two level bits that were set up towards the back (one that was used almost solely for the instruments) and then in the middle was a very large, elevated cross made of grated metal. it was where the smoke machine bits came through and it had bright lights that hugged the edges.

the way that the cross elevated a bit in the middle of the stage and bisected it was really cool. it let different actors (a lot of the time jesus pre-arrest) elevate themselves over the rest of the scene, and created a pretty clear divide between two different events/sides.

costumes- most of them were what i'd expect from a jcs production, but i was impressed by how lowkey and modern jesus's civilian clothes were (the khaki shorts, the loose white top, the light gray hoodie) and then the way that the leader guy of the I BELIEVE IN YOU AND GOD SO TELLLL ME THAT I'M SAVED! has jesus's exact same outfit but with the colors of the shirt and hoodie swapped. i dunno that worked for me. judas's look, of course, SLAYED in the don't you get me wrong number. sparkling like a star, with his hair all done up in this brilliant and gorgeous updo... *chefs kiss* and then pilot's crown was good and subtle and i love love loved herod and his gang. herod had a big goofy overcoat that gave him a cartoony frame and then he took it off and was in this straight up cabaret bright gold high boots outfit with french revolution aristocracy era face paint and get up. the lackeys had on these striped outfits and harem pants and the like, big circles that surround your head kinda like a dog cone? and at the very end of the number when he's encroaching in on jesus and about to kick him out he kicks the head of every single lackey who's on the ground in a line, like waiting for a beheading? and then it like SPEWS BLOOD along their neckline and the cone. visually appealing, horrifying, and interesting, especially with the french revolution imagery.

they did this really interesting thing with guitars and microphones with the actors. so jesus had a guitar that he carried around with him a lot and peter did too. jesus took it out during emotional moments and the way that they framed the gethsemane number to start with was him just working out his emotions through song? he plays the number himself (and he and peter were playing on pilot's first little number, which is interesting symbolism) and then as he finally builds to a point where he can't keep going he unplugs the guitar from the amp and goes to cry and finish the number with no mic.... just him.

additions on gethsemane- as he was winding up to the FIIINNNNEEEEE I'LLLLLL DIIIIIIEEEEE bit, the lights started flashing from all different directions. in the divine intensity. you will be doing this. you don't have a choice. then jesus, who's mainly performed in a much more.... traditional? style than neeley's jesus finally DOES take it into that piercing, 70s rocker falsetto belt.... and to have that happen right before he finally... does give up. just collapse into a little pile of just him, no more lighting anymore but this single spotlight on this sad, tired little man... the heart. it wrenches. then judas comes in from the Super Secret Suprise Entrance Cross and everything just keeps going.

super funny when we got all the apostles looking between each other when judas and jesus have their fight and judas leaves and then peter strums a cord and restarts" ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT I'D BE AN APOOOOSTTTLLLEEEEEE"

caiphas was, unfortunately, hot.

thinking about the shift of the ensemble so quickly from We Are The Sinful Temple Fuckers to We Are The Ailing of the Earth and how the ailing surround and overwhelm jesus and the way that it just. is visually even more in person

the use of the mics was also interesting. the high priests had mic stands that they always came in with as props and the dancing with them was cool and worked well, and then jesus/judas/mary passed around a mic some, both on the mic stand and without it. and especially when it was on the stand it gave this sense of... presence and importance. a lot of the judas-mary altercations were spent moving the mic back and forth and it was +++++ especially since we saw the microphone taken away from jesus when he was arrested (taking away his power along with his guitar, his ability to express himself). the mic's cord was ALSO used in really interesting ways. the first time it really comes up is when judas is realizing that he's been duped by the narrative and he's been left with the bag... and then he stretches the bright red cord out to its full length as he climbs up to the second story and threads the cord to stage the hanging... with the microphone. the lighting in this scene was great and just UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH watching judas send the microphone over the edge and leaving IT hanging as the symbol of judas's death. fucking. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

the other time that the microphone cord itself comes up is in pilot's last number, when the crowd is getting increasingly YOU HAVE NO CHOICE CRUCIFY HIMCRUCIFY HIM! and pilot's like. uh. how about i beat him? will that satisfy your blood lust? and he fucking wraps his mic cord around jesus's hands and holds him in place with it??? like oh my god. that made me feel some kind of way.

peter brought his guitar back out when he and mary magdalene were singing about how jesus should probably make things stop sucking now, please? then them on the smaller, more cut off scene watching jesus get beaten and sentenced to crucifixion. the powerlessness of that staging

jesus spends most of that number physically on the ground. he falls off the cross to the ground. he's so bloody and broken looking and it was painful.

the way the crowd shifts from being the taunting crowd to the JESUS CHRIST! SUPERSTAR! background singers. but. this staging... it had jesus. out during this number. and the chorus kept on hurting him as they KEPT DEMANDING ANSWERS? just like the way that they made every character who did that a guard (they had different roman emperor heads, it was great) and then. jesus is still there. he is still broken and beaten and Not Yet Crucified. and they're passing him around like emma perkins in inevitable.

(and his horror keeps going on)

something about how they gave judas's actor bright white hands after touching the blood money to contrast against his dark brown skin. something about how in this show he gets both pilot and jesus's symbols of being doomed by fate (pilot's bloody hands, jesus's crown of thorns).

like. they do not crucify this poor motherfucker until after the entire staging of "don't you get me wrrrroooonnnngggggg". and then we have to watch him raised onto the cross and his painful cries and everything. a few murmured notes from the crowd. then it's just a few actors helping to take jesus down off the cross and judas sitting on the edge, looking forlorn and regretful and just. so lost.

and a tattered jesus manages to move to the spot across from him, and sends him a tiny smile. he takes the crown of thorns off his own head and passes it over to judas.

the lights go down and the show is over. judas is forgiven. he's elevated! he's trapped!!!!!!! he and jesus are here together in this story that neither of them can control. they share that knowledge, and then the lights go down.

i am no longer the same. i don't want to be

#jcs #sarah watches jcs #jcs 2024 #jcs meta #jcs 50th anniversary

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scorpio-marionette · 1 year

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Anxiety

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!reader

Rating: PG

Warnings: anxiety, bad coping mechanisms, sadness, confusion, assumptions, age gap

A/N: Forgive me guys. I am currently in a depressive episode and I just binged @fuckyeahdindjarin 's Consent series (instead of writing like I should have) and it has put me deep into my feels. This little fic is very personal to me. Again, I'm sorry it's so sad. I just hate being attracted to a man I can get to know, let alone actually date, sometimes. (I'm looking at you Pedro.) But a girl can dream, right?

Part of @toomanystoriessolittletime December Writing Challenge

❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

You're not quite sure what you should've expected looking at Instagram, at his Instagram. Of course he'd be surrounded by starlets. Gorgeous women, who are actually his, mind you, clinging to his arm. Kissing his face. All heart eyes and smiles. The same smile that swept you away a year ago….

It had happened by sheer chance. You and your best friend happened to be in the right restaurant to overhear a writer and producer talking about a script. The story as a whole was interesting enough, but certain parts made the flow of the story choppy. As a writer you were dying inside from trying to keep quiet. More than positive that you weren't supposed to know about the script at all. Fortunately or unfortunately, you couldn’t keep it together anymore. You rose from your seat to make your way over to their table. You politely ask that they forgive your interruption (and eavesdropping) and ask if you may provide an outside opinion. Once given the green light you go to town. Much to your surprise, the two were very interested in your outlook on the story. So much so they invite you and your friend to finish having your food at their table. Minutes blur into hours as you all work. Once satisfied with their edited story, they bid you farewell with the promise of compensation for your contribution.

Months would pass before you heard anything else. Not that you had been expecting to, or hoping. Your check had come and long since been spent. What else could they need? More edits? Apparently you because they couldn't seem to find the right actress to play the leading lady. Upon your arrival to set you had asked why. You were merely told that no one knew the character better than you. No one understood her like you did. A valid point. You had almost completely rewritten her. In light of the trouble, you accepted the task. You didn’t have an ounce of acting experience under your belt though. The director assured you that you would be fine. That’s about the moment you found out who your co-star was. You had heard of him, and frankly you heard him before you saw him. Demetrio Bravolinski, a.k.a. Dieter Bravo. Hollywood heartthrob. The man to be because he was getting cast in everything after the documentary for Cliff Beasts.

You had it bad for him, regardless of having never met him prior. You knew it was ridiculous to be so sure of your feelings. You had no real reason to feel what you felt. You couldn’t help it though. Something told you deep down that the man before you was more than the designer shirts his agent had rented so he could be a human product billboard. More than the recreational drugs he’s known for using in the tabloids. He felt and dreamed like any other being. Keeping that in mind, you let the director introduce you. At first he seemed put off by how young you were. Quick to question why such a young actress was cast. His failed relationship with the young Anika came to mind. The director explained what happened with you and the producer and writer. He instantly perked up. He hadn’t been excited to take the role at first, but was promised that it would be in the running for movie of the year. When rewrites for the script had made their way to him, his opinion on the film took an instant one eighty. He had not only fallen for his character, but also what would now be yours. No one would have ever taken Dieter for being a secret romantic.

With that, production had been a whirlwind. At first you kept very much to yourself. Feeling incredibly out of place among all the Hollywood regulars. Your anxiety winning out over making friends. Dieter had other plans though. He took you out to dinner when you weren’t too tired. He took you sightseeing on your days off. He bought you gifts that suited your tastes and interests. He asked you for your opinions on books, movies, and pieces of art. You couldn’t lie about it. You couldn’t have made it up. You seemed right about Dieter. He was more than what was shown. And your heart had completely fallen for him. First his voice, then his smile. The light in his eyes. His sometimes god awful humor. Then production wrapped. Reshoots barely needed you so you were released early. You thought he would want you around. To hang out after he finished his work, but he just went to the wrap parties. All the ones you weren’t invited to.

When it came time to promote the movie, you were nowhere to be found. The contract you had drafted with the studio miraculously got you out of press tours. How, you’re still not sure, but after a month and half seeing Dieter at parties with ladies he’d actually be interested in you weren’t complaining. You had merely slipped away into the background where you were supposed to be. Going home wasn’t easy though. While no paparazzi followed you, eager friends and family were desperate to hear how it had all gone. You were truthful to a point. You had fun and explored what you could. One question from a friend was unexpected. She had asked if you told Dieter how you felt about him. Hesitating at first, you tell her that you never had a good moment to do so. He was either being far to sweet for you to drop a bomb like that on him, or had a beautiful woman on him, looking like they were already happily committed.

And that’s how you’ve found yourself here, under a rainfall of crystal blue lights on a chilled winter’s night. Longingly staring at the photo of a man who will never be yours. Not just because he’s older than you, or a celebrity, or even because of the beautiful blonde on his arm. It’s because he isn’t here in New York. In your little corner of the world. He’s jetset off to London with the woman in the photo for the world premiere of the movie you starred together in. He’s gone, just like he was the day you had shown up to the studio to see if he wanted lunch. The same day that woman had sneered in your face. Asking a haunting question.

“Why on earth would a man like Dieter waste his time on you? You’re a little girl! A child! He may actually be a very sweet man, but he knows jail bait when he sees it. Go home and cry to mommy, hun. He has no need to babysit you anymore.”

Even now her words still hurt. They’re true though. Dieter was just being nice to you. You don’t fit in his world. He drinks and smokes and takes edibles before going out to party. Hell, he has a social life. Friends to hang out with, fake or not. The man does stuff with his life. All you’ve done is this one, crazy, fever dream of a filming opportunity. Now you’re home. Back to nothing. Perhaps it was just the universe’s idea of an early Christmas present or something?

“Why didn’t you come back?”

Your head whips around to the source of the voice. A snuggly, sleepy looking Dieter stands just outside your protective cage of icicle lights. His large hands tucked out of sight into the pockets of his peacoat. A new pair of black sweatpants shielding his legs from the air. Bewilderment. Disbelief. Fear. All very present on your face as you take in his appearance. You’re sure you must look like a gaping fish, but how else are you to react to him not only finding you in your own home town, but in your favorite spot in town. Surely your mother sold you out to him.

“I-I did… you weren’t there,” you finally answer. “You left to go to a party.”

“Then why didn’t you meet me there?” he continues to question.

“Because I wasn't wanted there.”

“Who told you that?”

You hesitate to throw his girlfriend under the bus. Positive that even if he wouldn’t get mad, he would still side with her and claim that she would’ve wanted you to attend as you were his co-star.

“Who said you weren’t wanted there? We all waited for you to come. We were going to surprise you with gifts for completing your first ever movie!”

Now this is news to you. No one from production had ever mentioned this. There weren’t even gifts sent to you after the party. Just copious amounts of pictures of Dieter dancing with every stunner of a woman in the club. Kissing. Duck faces. Megawatt smiles. Nothing about you. No inquiries to your whereabouts. Request for ETAs. You were sure everyone forgot about you since you weren’t a star.

“I ended up taking everything home with me,” Dieter informs you. “I’ve just been sitting on a mountain of presents waiting for you to come by, but you never did. You didn’t even come on the press tour. You missed the premiere.”

“I couldn’t…” you start, but you choke up. Your throat seems to be closing. Your chest feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. You rise and turn to run from him. A hand gently grasps your elbow to halt your escape.

“Why didn’t you come back?” he asks again.

Fear gives way to irrational anger. Your involuntary response to being mentally cornered. The ugly part of your personality.

“Because you didn’t really care for me!” you all but scream. “Your girlfriend told me as much. And here I was stupid enough to think you might like me.”

“Girlfriend?” He pauses. “ Do you mean Alexandria? She’s not my girlfriend. She’s an old friend from my short stint on Broadway. Wait, what did she tell you?”

“She said you didn’t need to babysit me anymore and said you didn’t care about me because I’m younger than you.”

Dieter laughs - no, bellows at your answer. Apparently finding great humor in his friend’s statement. You shrink into yourself at the sound. His wide grin confirms what you have since believed. Again, you turn to exit the park; to recede back into the shadows. Again a hand stops you from leaving. Pulled around to face him, you see that bright spot of warmth and sunlight that radiates from somewhere behind his eyes. It’s all for you. Your head droops. His eyes soften.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t like you because you’re younger than me?” he inquires as he lifts your face back to his. “And did you really think I couldn’t see the way you look at me?”

A blush blazes across your cheeks. You thought you had been discrete. Neutral at least.

“I’ve known this whole time that you’ve had a thing for me, sweetheart. I was just wondering how long it’d take for you to admit it. I even found all your social media pages you have about me.”

His smile widens like the Cheshire Cat he is. Mischievous, but honest. Devious, but true.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret, darling.” He leans down to your ear and nuzzles in.

“I love you too.”

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo x reader #writing challenge

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singswan-springswan · 11 months

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mermaid remake review

watched the new little mermaid yesterday. I wasn't very impressed.

Don't get me wrong, the art was stunning, and I was very very delighted to see the smooth, fluid mermaid art in live action style that us classic mermaid freaks get the craving for. Even the way they did things like water, and lighting was gorgeous.

but. the movie overall felt really mid. it was hard to get excited for it, because everything felt and looked so different; I didn't really recognize the story or the setting or any of the characters. The way they behaved and the things they did were an awkward mash up of call backs and nuances that didn't fit at all, and it gave the whole story a weird disjointed vibe. Don't even get me started on the blocking. If there was a distinctly physical embodiment of the stop-and-start rhythm it would be the blocking, which had little fluidity---but I digress.

The characters were very very different from the classics I hold near and dear. I think my main complaint is the lack of emotion they seem to express. (I have my own personal problems with the quality of the acting on that front, particularly from Triton). Pretty much every interaction is measured. Excitement, anger, fear: it's all toned down. The scenes that are supposed to be these big turning points or dramatic climaxes lose all their efficacy because the characters fail to deliver this rich emotional build-up: something that's also derailed by the weird revisions to the script. On Ariel's part, especially when she finally gets to land, seems kind of dumb (haha no pun intended). But seriously, it seems like she loses half of her intelligence just because she can't speak. She doesn't really seem aware of herself or her surroundings, can't be bothered to even nod or shake her head when someone addresses her?? She doesn't even seem like herself. There are no elaborate hand gestures, no delighted grins or awestruck laughs. my girl she's just 🧍‍♀️ there. Honestly I think Eric did the best job of actually coming across as a person with real emotions and feelings, but I was hoping they'd all do that...? so not a high bar to jump 🤦‍♀️

Also, the changes they made to the storyline didn't seem to stick very well. I can appreciate the "adaptation" aspect but they really did not pull it off. There was no seamless transition between original content and new twists. I felt like I was bouncing back and forth between two entirely different stories. while I'm on the whole disrupted storyline thing, THEY REALLY DID ERIC DIRTY AT THE END THERE. In the original, the flow from scene to scene is so flawless there's no question about continuity, or changes in setting; it's all very easy to follow. But in the new movie... you're kind of left with whiplash. the transitions are stiff and stilted, and it takes your brain a second to catch up to "oh, it's this scene now, okay" which weakens the viewing experience a lot.

I could also talk about the costuming. It looked... so sad for a disney movie. maybe they put all their money into the cgi? I did myself the disservice of getting excited for the costuming when I really should have set proper expectations after the whole Beauty and the Beast fiasco. There was little vibrant color in the costumes, and way less attention to detail than I thought they'd afford. Like the costume with the most color was Vanessa's??? and that was such a random thing? Aside from her, everything else is kind of meh (except my man grimsby out here popping the fit off fr slay my king 👑) The costumes were stylish, of course, I'll give them that. But they looked like something you'd scrounge up for a school musical and not a movie of this high societal regard and budget.

On top of that, the music was a little...??? I think Halle has a wonderful voice, and an impressive set of pipes. Wow, can that girl sing. But aside from her voice being pretty and sounding remarkably similar to the original, the music was kind of all over the place. A few lines gave you chills, right, the lilt of their tone or they hit that note perfectly, BUT other than that I was reminded of the lion king remake sound track, which tore up the underlying cadence and feeling and mood goal of the originals to the point that the new music didn't accomplish its role in the progression of the story much at all. Like the singers were just showing off and not working to make the music actually fit into the character's journey: something that is literally core to a disney character?? Hello??? And I'm sorry, I know they tried really hard (a little too hard) to include elements of the old music and references and everything else, but with the new actors/voices it just felt so off and forced. It didn't feel like they had much respect for why the original did it this or that way and were just cramming stuff in for the

of it all, you know? Also there were details they chose to include for no reason, things that served no purpose overall, accomplished nothing, and weren't entertaining in any way. Stuff that you'd think would be important given how much emphasis they put on it but,,, no, no they're just making a big deal about it for no reason?? On top of that when the actors try to bring in their own personal touch, it's jarring. Takes you in a whole different direction, really chops up the momentum of the scene. And don't even get me started on the things they chose to CUT. I will be mad about the frogs forever. WHO MADE THAT DECISION I JUST WANT TO TALK. Some of the stuff looks like they took it out just because it'd be too hard to animate or something, which is really pathetic actually because you spent all that time making the mermaids absolutely flawless but then couldn't be bothered to not take away the ensemble that made this or that number the most magical? okay ig

So the music was pretty mid in my opinion. Yk at first you get a little hyped because you're all like "Oh! I wonder how they're going to do this part!" or "Oh! this is pretty good!" but then it gets annoyingly repetitive or goes off on itself with no kriffing right and you're just sitting there waiting for it to be over because hhhhhh yeah it's not that exciting anymore.

Now, there are things about the movie I really did like. of course, the way they generated the movements underwater was a pure delight. the way the mers moved their tails, and the way they maneuvered around obstacles and such had me really captivated. I wish we could have seen more of that. I also did enjoy the new tidbits of world-building, leaning more towards the classical relationship between men and the seapowers, since that really floats my boat. And this movie made me actually believe in Ariel and Eric's love story. The small offhand pieces of dialogue and the chemistry between the actors and the *slightly* eldritch mysticism managed to sell it. Where in the original I struggled to understand the attraction, the new movie puts more emphasis on the connection they have and the things they have in common. I really appreciated that. I also thought it was great and hilarious what they did with ursula and triton. awesome way to reference the original concepts and 🤌 explains so much about their relationship throughout the story.

But in spite of all the fun elements, the movie overall was a disappointment. I really hoped they would build on top of the original story instead of just cobbling new stuff around it. The movie was inconsistent, awkward, disjointed, stiff and stilted all around. The acting had so much room for improvement, and the cut and paste job they did on the storyline was somewhere on the scale of weirdly unnecessary to hurtful. There were so many details or pieces of dialogue that were random, meaningless, and distracting. Some parts of the movie were really stunningly good---excellent execution with the perfect level of dramatics---and others were really lame. just flopped. sad wet lettuce scene. the constant back and forth had me exhausted by the end. I was really hoping this movie would go the way of Aladdin and enrich the original story because the original little mermaid was so good and so vibrant and so fun and the only thing it was missing was live action mermaids guys come on. didn't turn out that way.

I wouldn't recommend spending the money to watch this in theaters. just wait until it's available to stream or something, and have a watch party with your friends. watching it with a fun group of people might make the experience more enjoyable if you're all down to make fun of the stupid parts together and groan when someone tries to use a joke from the original and really does not pull it off. To be completely honest, I think fanfiction authors could have made the changes to the story that the remake made and told it ten times better. I'm just miffed the movie as a whole was so choppy and uncomposed because I was excited that finally someone with enough money is going to be doing live action mermaids! It's going to look so so good!! and it did look good. it looked great! the art for the most part was peak, and I loved it truly. but everything else about the film kept throwing me off and I found it so hard to really get into it or be excited for very long. because there were inspiring moments, yes, but not long afterwards, a dumb cringey (not affectionate) sad excuse of an imitation would swim by and I'd just sigh dejectedly like aw man.

also the ending was a drag. I was like. hmm, is it over yet? and no, it was not over yet. It just kept going. rip me. seriously I'm better off reading (or better yet writing my own) fanfiction.

#the little mermaid 2023 #the little mermaid 2023 review #film review #movie review #the little mermaid

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superherotiger · 1 year

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I’m back ;) I’m the anon who loved your x-men apocalypse animation especially. Really enjoyed your latest one as well! Gorgeous animation - loved the Jean Grey/Phoenix animation! The tiktok of Erik imagining/sitting down and taking to Peter is also a fave of mine - it did make me sad about the lack of Evan Peters - Michael Fassbender/ Magneto - Quicksilver scenes in the movies. Their dynamic could have been so great!

Yes, Dark Phoenix was a real mess. I do still absolutely adore the space scene though - it looks amazing and seeing the x-mens’ powers work together is just everything. Wish there was a lot more of that across basically all the film tbh. Loved seeing Quicksilver’s abilities in zero g! But despite how much I love that scene I can’t say that the movie is good. Honestly the frequent and unnecessarily large time skips generally bothers me - they robbed us of seeing the characters develop. I also can’t believe that Peter wouldn’t tell Erik for almost 10 years after the apocalypse incident.

I did try to brain storm a few ways of Erik finding out about Peter that could potentially be dramatically/visually interesting? One of my ideas was that for some reason, maybe due to Erik seeing red due to grief of losing Raven, Erik is wreaking absolute havoc and is trying to kill Jean. But the x-men have some sort of plan or just needs to freeze Erik so they can then stop Jean without killing her. And the scene would be Peter using his speed to try to get the helmet off Erik so that Charles could communicate with/or freeze Erik. And then because of Erik’s vast power he would be able to stop Peter in his tracks (similar to Jean in the film) and there would be a scene (similar to your animation) of him “grabbing” Peter in the air - throwing him up against the wall of the train(possibly?) to stop him, angry and pissed off and there would be this moment of Peter bracing himself genuinely worried he’s about to be killed - and Charles or someone else would panicked about what Erik might be about to do as he is blinded by anger - yell out the fact that Peter is his son. Perhaps for a second Erik would see Nina in place of Peter for a brief second as he recognises the familiar resemblance (as he is staring at another child of his in danger). And then of course he wouldn’t hurt him but instead freeze due to shock. What do you think? Too much? A scenario like this would kinda only work if the time skip is much shorter - maybe just a year. I quite like fics that address the fact that Peter is probably on some level afraid of Erik when he goes full Magneto. I like the scene when Peter claims to not fear him to his mother (which imho reveals that he in fact actually does). I think it adds an interesting layer to Peter’s feelings about telling him. I don’t think Erik would kill him - even if no one revealed their familial relationship - but that uncertainty in such a scene could kinda be dramatically interesting I think? I dunno, sorry if I’m rambling - I just quite like discussing alternative scenarios with other fans :) and wanted to hear your thoughts.

Ahh welcome back Anon!! Always a pleasure to talk X-Men with you! 💕

And aww thank you! I loved working on the Oleander animatic! The Phoenix was especially fun to animate, and of course the hug made all the hard work worth it haha. And awww yes! I love that edit too, it uses an audio from Gotham Knights where Batman is talking about Nightwing and how proud he is of him. As soon as I heard it I knew it would fit really well with a good timeline Dadneto, and I was definitely inspired by my fic The Hardest Part Is Leaving You which I had finished not long before making that edit!

Oh yeah, the effects in Dark Phoenix are actually pretty solid (at least most of the effects surrounding Jean and the Phoenix at least). Would have loved to see more of the X-Men as an actual team as well, but alas, the writers have robbed us of that yet again 😭 Guess that's what we're here for lol.

And OOOH Anon I love that idea! Definitely not too much, I think that's a great mix of angsty and intense but also heartfelt! And yes, a shorter timeskip between Apocalypse and Dark Phoenix is always appreciated haha. That's such a fair point about Peter being afraid of Erik when he's in 'Magneto' mode too. Usually I write them post reveal so I mostly play around with the concept of what their relationship is like after many years of bonding and trust has been built, which means Peter is rarely if ever scared for himself, but more likely scared of what Erik could do to others in the case Peter ever got hurt. Younger Peter would definitely struggle with that though I bet!

Thanks for sharing your ideas with me Anon, I love hearing them! If you ever turn them into a fic let me know, I'd love to read it! :D Have an awesome day!

-Superherotiger

#tiger talks #anonymous #dadneto

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absurdthirst · 3 years

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Hi Keri! I love love love your blog and your wonderful headcanons ❤

Being a plus sized girl myself, I love your headcanon "When you are a plus sized gal", but a bit sad it's only Din, Ezra, Pero and Oberyn. Would love to see how Marcus Pike, Zach, Javier and Max Philips too. But only if want to write something for them, of course 😁🌸

When You Are Plus Sized Gal:

**So the first four are repeated from the original HC, but I added them on to the others to make it a complete list.

Mando: He is obsessed with your softness. You are so different from him. He is covered from armor from head to toe. He is often viewed as hard and unyielding so there is something about the way that his fingers dig into your flesh and his hardness is cushioned by your softness that he is just in love with. Even thought you are soft, you are no delicate flower and can handle the hard way that he thrusts into you, groaning and putting his full weight on you. However, he loves the softer moments. When he’s out of the beskar and laying next to you, touching as much skin as he can with his own. He will sleep on you if given half a chance, surrounded by your softness.

Ezra: Ohhhhhh this man loves every gorgeous inch of you. He will coo and flatter and do everything he can to make sure you know how much he thinks you are magnificent.His loquacious nature works to his advantage, you never feel more perfect that when he has a big handful of your body in his grip and watching your body move from the force of his thrusts. He is another one that will want to be surrounded by you. Happily resting on your breast, although he loves when you sleep on him. Waving away your concerns and assuring you that he adores the pressure of you on him.

Tovar: Tovar love him a good sturdy woman. Strong and in good health, the fact that you are a plump thing just lets him know that you are well fed. Plus he loves the fact that you can take his roughness, balance it out with your softness. He loves how he doesn’t have to worry about manhandling you in bed, or against the wall or on the table that he’s had to fix several time when it didn’t hold up under his vigorous pace. He is another that loves to be surrounded by your softness, your generous ass pushed against his cock as his arms wrap around you. Tovar throw his leg over your thighs while sleeping, his own personalized body pillow. (He’s grumpy as fuck when he doesn’t get to sleep with you)

Oberyn: Let it be known that this man adores men and women of all kinds. Shapes, colors, whatever. The Red Viper finds all forms pleasing and your plump and luscious one is no exception. He delights in the bedroom activities and enjoys watching the self confident way you navigate through the excessive bodies in the bed. He loves the way your thick thighs shake when you are riding him, or they are framing his head while another is on his cock. He loves the waves your skin makes when someone is pounding into you from behind and you are moaning out you pleasure. But he also loves when it is just the two of you. Hands stroking your skin, trialing along your stretch marks and don’t you dare protest, he loves them.

Marcus Pike: There is not one inch of you that Marcus doesn’t enjoy. That extra weight on your thighs, oh that’s just his rainy day pillow for him to lay on while the movies plays. Extra soft stomach? Make for him to kiss his way across and whisper about how you always feels so warm and soft. He is always there to give you an extra compliment when you are chewing your lip and staring at the mirror in discontent. Coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist to remind you that he loves you just the way that you are and nothing is going to change that. And then he’s going to strip off whatever outfit is making you look at yourself like that and show you exactly how much he loves your body.

Agent Whiskey: Lordy, Jack loves your supple shape. Ass slapping every time you bend over. He also like pinching that little roll on your stomach. He’ll stop if you don't like it, but for him, it’s just a thing that he loves to do. Grabbing handfuls of you. He likes that extra weight. High key starts pouting when you talk about diets, you don’t need them. If you want to exercise, he can take you in the bedroom and get you all kinds of hot and sweaty. Those are the days that he goes all out, your thighs are burning from riding him and he’s praising how good you are keeping your seat on your cowboy. Groping your hips and moaning to ride him harder, he wants to see you jiggle on top of him. Nothing makes him cum faster.

Javier Peña: Javier doesn’t say a word, he never comments on your weight or the extra pounds that you have. But lord does he fuck you. He makes sure that you have no doubt about how hard you get him, treating you just like he would the skinny girls he fucked before. He’s digging his fingers into your ass and honestly? He loves the extra cushion, feeling like he can go that much harder and not break you. Loving the way that ripple effect looks while he plows into you. And love bites? Jesus, you will wear this man’s teeth marks for days.

Zach Wellison: Maybe it’s a small hangup for not knowing where his next meal was coming from or hating that nagging ache of hunger pains, but sometimes it feels like Zach likes you chubby. He’s not the type to encourage you to eat less. Never. It’s always ‘have a bit more’ or ‘I picked this up for you, it’s your favorite’. Obvious trauma aside, he does love your softness. The feeling of being next to you and wrapping his arms around your thicker waist and pulling your push ass back against his groin is as much a feeling of coming home to him as it was when he got that first apartment that came with his job as the building maintenance man.

Dave York: Listen.....this man knows what he likes. He likes fat asses, he likes bigger boobs, he just like bigger. Sure, he’ll look at any ass that is presented, he’s appreciative of the view, but there is something about that thicker girl that makes his cock strain against the band of his sweats. He comes home from his run, sweaty and out of breath to find you bending over the dishwasher. The material of your leggings pulled tight across your ass and fuck, it’s a better view than that girl he had give the double take to. His soft cock rapidly swelling and all he can think of is grabbing your hips and sinking into you until the pillowy softness of your ass is against his hips.

Catfish: Frankie is a sucker for thick thighs. Loves them wrapped around his waist, around his head. Definitely loves using them for pillows and falling asleep on them. There is just something about it. The softness of your body. Whenever you complain about it, he huffs. Rolling his eyes at you and taking your hand and pressing it against his semi. Something that is nearly a constant state around you. “Don’t give me that bullshit, babe. You are sexy.” He murmurs, licking his lips and there is a spark in his eyes when he flashes you a grin. “Want me to show you?”

Max Phillips: He’s got more warmth. Vampires don’t regulate body temperature very well unless they have had a fresh meal so he LOVES your bigger proportions. Would actually let you sleep on top of him and be as happy as a bug in a rug. When you refused to sit on his face, he scoff and bodily lifted you up until you were smothering him. He’s got super strength, sugar tits. You aren’t going to hurt him. And don’t you know that some extra fat just makes you more delicious?

Marcus Moreno: SMOTHER this man please. Just lay on him and press him down into the couch. He loves it. It’s not that he wants you to be chubby, but he’s not wanting you to go on some diet. As long as you are healthy, a few extra pounds doesn’t bother him in the least. There is something magical about the way that your body cradles his. He likes rocking into you slowly and feeling every inch of your body against his. Kissing all over you is another favorite activity of his.

Max Lord: You would think that for all his worrying over power and status that a bigger girl would be off the table for him. This is simply not true. At all. He’s always been attracted to a woman with a thicker frame and he loves the curves of your body. Burrowing into your soft warmth is like that comfort and love he wishes he’d had as a boy. Your body works him up to a near frantic state quickly and he will never not be an interested spectator when you are changing or in the shower. Also loves being the little spoon.

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brrahbrrahcharacterimagines · 3 years

Text

Groceries (Might Guy x Reader)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Might Guy x Reader

Word Count: 2723

Warnings: very minor angst, food mentions (TW for EDs)

A/N: Hope you enjoy! I've been so thirsty for Naruto characters recently it's not even funny

Also, this was originally two parts but I've combined them into one so let me know if the transition doesn't work!

Growing up in Konoha you always felt safe. You knew there were experienced shinobi there to protect you. As a little girl, you would see them walk down the streets and watch in awe as they passed by you.

Despite everything you had seen in terms of violence, you still felt safe in the Leaf Village. There had been some tense battles, but the leaf shinobi always prevailed.

It was a day more peaceful than most as you made your way down to the store. You only needed a few things, but with the nice weather you decided to take advantage of the day instead of waiting for the grocery list to get longer.

Smiling, you walked into the store to the tune of children laughing and birds chirping. It was like you were in a movie.

You made your way down the aisles, picking up the items you needed as you went. Milk, eggs, noodles, and more went into the small cart in your hands as you browsed. Lost in your own world, you didn't see the other cart as it came around the corner at the same time as your own.

The carts crashed into each other, you and the other person with them. It almost winded you, both from surprise and the force of falling into the cart.

"I am so sorry!" You explained, looking up to the man you found in front of you. Luckily, neither of your groceries seemed to have sustained much damage. You found yourself surprised to be met with the most gorgeous dark eyes you had ever seen.

"It's no problem!" Said the man, flashing you a confident smile with a thumbs up. "No damage done."

You felt a hot flush rise to your face, but thankfully the man didn't seem to notice.

"Thank you," you said in a fluster. You weren't sure what you were even thanking him for, not yelling at you? It was then that you took notice of his outfit, especially the band around his waist. "Are you a shinobi?"

The smile stayed ever-present on his face.

"Yes I am! A jonin of the Hidden Leaf Village!"

If you had just half the enthusiasm of this man, you think you would be running on empty in less than five minutes. Hearing he was a jonin, you were impressed.

"Well, thank you for all that you do," you offered, moving to continue your shopping.

Although your interaction was brief, you couldn't stop thinking about it as days passed. Something about his eyes, and his confidence, drew you into him. You tried to brush it off, seeing as it was such a simple interaction, but it was impossible. Even trying to tell yourself that he didn't remember you wouldn't work; there was still a part of your brain that would never quiet down.

You had never minded being a civilian in Konoha. Sure, when you were younger you had thought about being a konoichi, but those were just the thoughts of a child. You never pursued it. You were happy with your career, teaching young children in subjects other than jutsu.

Despite your happiness, you began to wish that you had gone to the academy. Then you would have been able to find the man who was plaguing your thoughts. Even after that, you might have been a real option for him. You knew shinobi tended to mostly be interested in other shinobi.

You didn't know why it upset you so much. You didn't even know the man's name, and yet you were sad that you might not be his type. Feeling a bit pathetic, you found yourself in need of another grocery run. Trying to ignore the thought that you might see him again, you made your way to the store.

Sadly, at least for that persistent, gremlin part of your brain, the trip was rather uneventful. At least, until you found yourself in front of the produce.

You were trying to eat healthier, but it was hard. It wasn't that you didn't like your body, you just wanted to feel better in your own skin. As you stood there pondering, a male voice scared you from your thoughts.

"Excuse me."

You turned, disappointed to see a man with silver spikes instead of the dark bowl cut you had hoped for. You mumbled a sorry, stepping out of his way.

"Careful Kakashi," boomed another voice, "I'd keep your distance from that woman's cart if I were you."

Now that is the voice you had been hoping for.

As you turned, the tall man immediately caught your eye. You blushed at his words, remembering your initial encounter. The other man, Kakashi, looked at you with confusion. He grabbed what he needed before walking away, leaving you and the other man alone.

"So what brings you back here?" He asked. Normally you would have thought of this as awkward conversation, but your heart leapt at the opportunity to talk to him again.

You sighed, "I'm trying to decide what I want. I wanted something healthy but I didn't want to just start grabbing vegetables."

"Then you're in luck," he grinned, "I'm somewhat of an expert. Try some blueberries, they're a superfood." He grabbed a package, placing them in his own cart. "They're on me today."

You tried to protest, but he wasn't having any of it. You made your way through checkout, paying the rest of your items before meeting back up with the man.

"Thank you," you told him, looking back up at his deep eyes. Pausing for a moment, you realized something. "I don't even know your name! How could I thank you for buying these before me without even learning your name?"

The man chuckled, extending his hand out to you.

"The name's Guy," he said loudly, shaking your hand. "Would it be crazy to ask for your name in return?"

You blushed as you grabbed his hand, his grip firm yet his hands soft.

"Y/n," you told him. He smiled.

"That's a beautiful name." His words did nothing to help calm the blush on your face. You were sure he knew exactly what he was doing to you based on the color of your cheeks alone. Suddenly Guy grew rather sheepish. "I know how this is going to sound, but would you want to come by my place sometime?"

Your eyes widened. After all this time wondering what this man was really like, he was just the type to invite you into bed with him immediately? Admittedly part of you was curious, but you weren't stupid.

"Excuse me?"

Now it was his turn to blush.

"Well I know how that sounds," Guy said quickly, trying to get his words out faster than he could think. "But I just meant to make you dinner. I could show you how to cook some vegetables so that they aren't all that bad."

Immediately you felt bad for assuming the worst, offering him a small smile.

"I would like that."

He smiled back at you. Guy gave you his address as the two of you decided on a time before parting ways. You couldn't help the giddy grin that covered your face as you walked home. Your date couldn't come fast enough.

---

In the days leading up to your date with Guy, it was all you could think about. You told yourself that was fine, since you were obsessing over him already. At least now you had a reason to.

The day was finally here, and as the hours ticked away you found yourself growing more nervous. Deciding what to wear was a challenge in itself. Did you want to try to dress up nicer, or would that be too much? Yet at the same time you worried dressing too casual would give him the idea that you weren't as interested as you were.

You tried on just about everything you owned, settling for a dress that made you feel pretty. It was fancy enough to make you feel like you were trying, but still casual enough that you would be comfortable.

You looked at the clock, seeing that you still had ample time before you needed to leave. Sitting down, your mind wandered. What would tonight be like?

in your mind you ran through a myriad of scenarios. If you didn't like the food he cooked, you would have to just stomach it and hope for the best. Based on what he told you at the store though, it seemed like he would know what he was doing. Still, you worried that something would go wrong.

Above all, there was a bigger question ringing out in your mind. Would he try to kiss you? And, would you want him to?

The seconds turned to minutes as you pondered, the minutes turning into hours until it was time to go. You collected your things, making sure to grab any and all essentials before you left. You had already told your friends who you would be with, going as far as to give them the address should anything go wrong. Guy seemed like such a nice guy, but you could never be too careful.

Locking the door to your apartment behind you, you set off. It was early in the evening, and the sun was just beginning to set in the sky. You were thankful you wouldn't have to walk in the dark. You knew there were plenty of shinobi around, hell, you were even meeting one right now. But even then you felt uncomfortable walking home alone at night, surrounded by darkness.

It was a shorter walk than you anticipated, and before you knew it you were at his place. Taking a deep breath, you reached up to knock on his door. It seemed like a nice enough part of town, and his place itself was well-kept especially considering how much time you were sure he spent on training.

You heard Guy's loud steps make their way to the doorway, pausing on the other side before the door swung open. His usual confident smile was on his face, but instead of moving his mouth into words he just looked at you. You felt yourself growing red under his gaze.

"Hello Guy," you said softly, looking up at him.

Guy had been making the same amount of preparations as you, if not even more. He planned the meal out carefully, even practicing it the night before to make sure it went well. He had spent more time than usual perfecting his hair, making sure not a single strand would be out of place. He had even thought of exactly what he wanted to say when he opened the door.

Hello Y/n, he would say as he smiled at you. You look more beautiful every time I see you.

Sure, it was more forward than he had been with you before. This was a date after all, and he wanted to make how he felt about you clear from the start.

That plan went right out the window when he saw you, your sundress captivating him. It looked so cute on you, and at the same time there was something about it that sent a wave of tingles between his legs. To put it simply, he was speechless.

He knew he should say something but he couldn't, enraptured by the way you looked in his doorway.

"Hello Guy," you said to him. That sweet voice of yours would drive him crazy someday, and he knew that. He loved hearing his name fall from your lips, hoping it would be far from the last time. Everything about you made him fall for you more.

Despite his thoughts about your voice, your words were enough to stir him to action himself.

"Hey," he said.

Really Guy? He thought to himself. You're the Blue Beast, a strong shinobi. And yet all you can say to a woman is 'hey'?

You giggled at him, and he felt a smile creep onto his face.

"It's good to see you again," he continued. He decided to dial back the forwardness, realizing he had already kept you waiting outside for too long in his daze. "Come on in."

You followed Guy into his home, taking in the delicious aroma filling the rooms.

"I don't know what you're making," you stated, "but it smells amazing."

Guy beamed with pride, ushering you over to the kitchen.

"It's my favorite." He told you. "A spicy, vegetable curry."

Thankfully, you didn't mind spicy. In fact, you enjoyed it. Your mouth watered, taking in the sight and smell of the food in front of you.

"Actually, it should be just about done." Said Guy, stirring it all for a final time before putting it onto beautiful dishes to serve.

He had already set the table, candles and all. He pulled the chair out for you, pushing you back in as if you weighed nothing. He sat across from you, and the way he smiled at you made you weak in the knees. It's a good thing you had already sat down.

You wasted no time, digging in. And it was delicious.

"Oh my god Guy," you said in near disbelief at how good it was. You could see his expression perk up. "This is amazing!"

"I'm glad you like it," he chuckles, eating his own.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch. You talked about your job and his, bonding over your love for your respective students.

"Maybe sometime I can come watch one of your training sessions," you mentioned. "I would love to see you teach them."

Guy smiled, "I would love that." The sincerity in his tone took you by surprise. While you knew he was never joking with you, there was always some sort of bravado to his speech that now was missing.

You helped him clean up despite his protests. You told him that if he cooked, you would at least clean up. It was only fair, after all. You scrubbed the dishes, oblivious to the way Guy was looking at you.

He never would have admitted it to anyone but himself, but he was falling in love with you. He had no problem picturing a life with you. Coming up to you at the end of the day, sharing a meal together. He wanted everything that life would bring him.

"Well," you said, finishing up, "I should probably get going."

"Let me walk you," insisted Guy. "A lady such as yourself should never walk alone at night."

He offered his arm to you, and you accepted it with a shy smile. You could feel his prominent muscles under the fabric of his outfit, and you could feel your face growing warmer. You were thankful for the darkness for obscuring your face from him, hoping he couldn't tell.

He could tell.

As the two of you made your way back towards your own apartment he would flex his muscles every so often, loving the way your face would flush. A couple of times he timed it right so that you were speaking, making you stutter.

The walk ended much earlier than either of you would have liked it to. Suddenly your heart started racing. You could answer your questions from earlier clearly.

Would he try to kiss you?

You sure hoped so.

Would you want him to?

Definitely.

You paused in your doorway, letting go of Guy's arm. You looked up at him, flashing him a genuine smile.

"I had fun tonight."

He reciprocated your own expression with a smile of his own, "me too."

You both paused for what seemed like the longest second in the world. It was as if he was building up the courage to actually go through with what he wanted to. He cleared his throat.

"Y/n, may I kiss you?"

You nodded your head and he lowered his lips to yours slowly. As you pressed your own lips to his you couldn't help the gasp that escaped them.

That's a sound I'll keep replaying... thought Guy.

He pulled away sooner than you would have liked, but he was a gentleman.

"I'll see you soon." Guy ended his sentence with a wink, sauntering off as you went to go inside.

"I can't wait."

#guy x reader #guy sensei x reader #might guy x reader #might gai x reader #gai x reader #maito guy x reader #maito gai x reader #naruto x reader #naruto #naruto shippuden

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softholand · 3 years

Text

pot valiant - t.h

pairing: bartender!tom x reader

summary: pot-valiant, definition; bold or courageous under the influence of alcoholic drink

warnings: drinking, swearing, smut, dom!tom

words: 4.3k

a/n: i did it!!! bartender!tom was always present in my mind and after that picture (thanks paddy!!) i couldn’t help myself ;))) i hope you guys like this and please let me know what you think <3 enjoy!!

Two weeks, three days, 5 hours, and 22 seconds. That was the time your best friend Briana gave you to mourn your last failed relationship. Once that time had passed, she broke into your house, made you take a much necessary shower, forcing you to shave and wash your hair, while she took care of the mess that was your house. Plastic food containers and cans of beer and Coca-Cola littered both the kitchen and the living room floor, making the house smell like a garbage can.

“Glad to see you’re still alive!” Briana cheered after you got out of the shower, wearing your fluffy robe. “I am but barely. Wow, what did you do to my house?” You asked, being met with a completely different scenario from the one you left.

“I just put out the trash, y/n! Something you should have done before.” Briana scolded you, making you roll your eyes. “Should have waited and put me out too, since I feel like trash!” You groaned, flopping down on your sofa.

“Hey, no, no, no! Get up, y/n! We’re going out!” Your best friend announced, before trying to make you stand. “Noooo, please, Bri! I’ll do anything you want, but that!” You pleaded, but it was of no use. “I don’t wanna hear it, y/n! I didn’t come here to clean your house, I came to take you out of here and that’s what I’m gonna do.” Briana stated, taking your hands.

“Bri, I love you, but please let me stay just a little longer, I’m not ready for the outside world yet.” You groaned, trying your best to convince your best friend. “y/n, I love you too, that’s why I’m here! I can’t stand seeing you like this anymore! Yeah, what Tyler did to you was fucked up, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life because of it.” Briana exclaimed.

“I know, Bri! I know! It’s just… hard for me to wrap my head around the fact he ditched me after all this time and that I’m single now.” You sighed, starting to feel emotional. At that, Briana pulled you closer and wrapped her arms around you, engulfing you in one of her best hugs. “I’m sorry, y/n! I didn’t mean to make you cry again.” Bri apologized, making you chuckle through your tears. “It’s okay, Bri! It’s not your fault, really. I’m just… a mess!” You laughed, drying your face with the robe sleeves.

“One drink. We get one drink and if you still don’t wanna stay after that, we leave. I promise!” Your friend offered, with hopeful eyes. “Fine! One drink!” You sighed, to which she squealed. “Yes! Thank you, y/n! You’re not gonna regret it! I’ve found this new club, it opened just a couple of weeks ago. You’re gonna love it!” She grinned. “Now, go put on your best outfit, we’re going out!” Briana squealed, making you laugh at her excitement.

About an hour later and after a whole lot of makeup and trying on clothes, Briana finally decided you were done with what she called: a Cinderella transformation. Of course, you laughed at her choice of words, and to irritate your friend, even more, you asked if you also should be back at midnight. She gave you the middle finger, before giving up and joining you in laughter.

After a quick cab ride, that could be done by feet, not with the heels you two were wearing though, you and Briana were at the new club she talked about. Once inside, you had to admit your best friend was right. The place looked like a mix of everything you enjoyed, the walls were coated in a beautiful shade of red, while the lounge area was filled with dark green sofas. Different from the other places you had been to, the bar on this one was positioned right in the middle, with bar stools in that same dark green velvet texture, rounding the space. The dim light that filled the space gave a mysterious/sensual vibe, something you were also a fan of.

Briana immediately dragged you to the bar, waiting patiently for one of the many bartenders. While she made her request, you took the time to scan the place, noting some artsy bits that complemented the space. “What can I get you?” A smooth masculine voice took you out of your daze, making you avert your attention to him. Right in front of you, a gorgeous boy with hazel eyes and chocolatey brown curls grinned at you, waiting for your answer. What was even the question?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.” You apologized, making his smile grow even more. “I asked what can I get you tonight, darling?” He asked, making you smile with the nickname. “Oh, uh… a daiquiri, please!” You finally said, not being able to avert his gaze. “Good choice! I’ll be right back, girls!” He smirked, before going to the enormous wall of beverages behind him.

Once he was out of earshot, Briana lightly kicked your bare leg, getting your attention. “Isn’t he hot?” She mouthed, making you roll your eyes. “Really, Bri? Already?” Shaking your head, you went back to looking at your surroundings. “Oh, c’mon y/n! A woman has to eat!” Briana joked, making you both burst out laughing.

Seconds later, hot guy was back, this time with two cocktail shakers in his hands. Like every bartender in the world, he made his presentation while pouring the ingredients into the containers, making sure to really flex his arms while shaking it. Not that you noticed.

With two glasses in front of you, he poured the drinks in, doing the finishing touches before serving them to you. “Two pretty drinks for two pretty ladies, enjoy!” He smirked, before going back to his business. “Oh God, he only gets better!” Briana jokingly fanned herself, making you laugh. “He’s just doing his job, Bri! How many times do you think he used that one?” You asked your friend, who rolled her eyes at you. “You’re no fun!” She groaned, putting her tongue out.

Briana was only halfway through her Cosmopolitan when one of her favorite songs started to play. She made everything in her power to make you go with her but you denied her offer, stating you were fine watching her from the bar. With her drink in her hands, she made her way into the dance floor, purposely shaking her booty at you, which made you laugh and almost choke on your barely touched drink.

“Not into dancing?” The same voice from minutes ago asked, startling you. “Oh, no! Not today, at least!” You shrugged, offering him a smile. “So, what brought you and your friend here? I’m Tom, by the way!” He asked, cleaning the surface in front of him, making the watch he wore catch the fluorescent lights of the club. “y/n! And to be honest, she dragged me here.” You told him, giving into their usual small talks. “Wanna talk about it? I’m a pretty damn good listener!” He offered you with a smile.

You took a deep breath, asking yourself if it was really a good idea to share a part of your life with a stranger, and since you weren’t going to step foot on the dance floor, you thought this was the next most reasonable thing to do. Right? “Well, I was into a two-year relationship that ended a couple of weeks ago, and apparently staying inside your house, eating takeout food, and crying over stupid romantic movies is not a very healthy thing to do, so today she went to my house and here I am.” You smiled, taking a sip of your drink.

Once you looked at Tom, he gave you a pitiful look, to which you shrugged. “That’s not even the worst part though.” You said, the alcohol in your system already making the choices for you. “Instead of calling me or sending me a text asking to talk, you know, like a normal person, he invited me to his parents’ tenth-anniversary party and broke up with me in front of his whole family, claiming I wasn’t what he wanted in a relationship anymore.” With a raise of your glass, you finished your sad story, downing the rest of your daiquiri.

“Damn, what a dick!” Tom breathed after a couple of seconds, making you chuckle. “Oh, well! Cheers to single life, I guess…” You said, raising your now empty glass. “Need a refill?” He asked, pointing to the glass on your hands. “Please!” You huffed, before thanking him. “What will it be now?” Tom smirked, seeing your thinky face. “I don’t know, something strong.” He nodded, giving you two thumbs-ups, before going back to the wall to collect the ingredients.

Once the song ended, Briana came back to you and you two chatted until Tom came back with your drink, waiting for your approval. “It’s good! I like it! Thanks, Tom!” You smiled, locking eyes with him. “Do you want a refill too, darling?” He asked Briana, to which she said a beer would be fine. Once he was off, you felt your best friend's eyes burning a hole in your skull. “What?” You asked, impatiently. “We’re already on a name basis then?” Briana smirked, making you roll your eyes at her. “Yeah, I mean, he introduced himself, what did you want me to do?” You snapped and that was enough to her smirk double in size. “Okay, girl! You sure you don’t want to go home then?” She asked you for what felt like the fifth time. “Yes, Bri! I’m good! I promise!” You assured your best friend before she once again was off to the dance floor.

You quietly took sips of your new strawberry drink, watching from afar as your friend seemed to get her eyes on a specific guy for the night. She gave you a wink, making you roll your eyes at her antics. “She seems to be enjoying herself.” You heard Tom’s voice, turning the barstool to find him looking at you. “Yeah, she always does!” You agreed, taking another sip of your drink. “So, you’re from here?” He asked, sounding interested. “Yeah, I’m a local! You?” You said, raising your brows. “Same!” He smiled, going right to the next question.

The conversation kept going for most of the night, Tom attended some clients, while you took sips of your drinks, and once he was free, he was right back at you with another round of questions. Seeing as Briana wasn’t by your side anymore, you welcomed his company, glad at least this way you wouldn’t be left alone. “Museologist? I’ve never heard that before!” He grinned, making you chuckle. “Yeah, it’s not very common. Basically what I do is investigate and preserve material cultural stuff, like paintings, sculptures or constructions and immaterial, such as traditions and folklore.” You answered and Tom couldn’t help but find adorable the way your eyes lit up while you talked.

Briana came back after a couple more songs, sitting by your side and asking Tom another beer. “So, found your prey?” You joked, making her laugh. “Actually, I did! See that blonde? With the samurai bun?” She pointed and you nodded once your eyes landed on him. “Nice, Bri!” You complemented, giving her a playful high five. “Right? And he’s so sweet and smart and funny! He even asked me if I wanted to go to his house.” She blurted, seemingly disappointed. “And?” You asked, not getting why she reacted that way. “Oh, no! I’m not leaving you. I dragged you here so I’m taking you home.” Briana exclaimed, to which you rolled your eyes. “Bri, I’m totally able to call a cab and go home by myself. I’m fine, I promise! You can go with Mr. Samurai bun if you want.” You assured her, seeing her eyes widen. “No, y/n/n! I promised you!” She protested, making you groan. “I’m fine, Bri! Go with him!” Once again, you insisted. “Are you sure?” She asked and you had to laugh at her. “I’m not a child, Bri! Now go, he’s not going to wait all night!” You teased, getting a hug and a kiss on the cheek from your friend before she was off.

“Lost your friend?” Tom asked once he was back from his bartender duties. “Yeah, it's just me now and I think I’ll actually call it a night and go home.” You told him, making him frown. “Hey, not to sound creepy or anything but are you going by yourself? Because that’s not very safe and my shift ends in like ten minutes. If you want, I can accompany you.” With hopeful eyes, the boy in front of you smiled, making your heart flutter just a tiny bit. You thought about leaving a stranger accompanied you home, you really did, but something in your gut told you it was fine, Tom was a good guy and would never do anything to harm you. So, you went with it. “Yeah, that would be great, actually.” You smiled and ten minutes later, you were both leaving the club, at 3:30 in the morning.

Tom offered to call a cab but seeing as your house was only a few minutes away, you asked if it was okay for him that you guys walked. He agreed and with the moon illuminating your steps, the pair of you made your way into the almost silent streets. You guys kept talking and occasionally your hands would brush on one another, which caused little butterflies to erupt in your stomach. Once in front of your apartment building, you stopped, having no idea what to do next, since you were in a relationship for the last two years.

“It was nice meeting and talking to you, Tom!” You said, opting for the easiest way out. “Yeah, the feeling is mutual, y/n!” He answered, stuffing both of his hands in his pockets. “Thank you for… listening.” You mumbled, making him chuckle. “Of course! Whenever you need!” He smiled, not moving a muscle. “I’ll see you around, then. Bye!” With a little wave of your hand, you made your way to the door, while Tom watched you from his place. “Sure! Bye, y/n!” He exclaimed, making you smile, finally entering the building.

That’s how you found yourself going back to that same club every Friday, getting a couple of drinks while talking to Tom, then being escorted home by him. You had been doing this for almost a month now and Briana was starting to get suspicious. It was Friday again and she had just called you while you finished getting ready. “So, any plans for tonight?” She asked, already predicting your answer. “Not really, just gonna get some drinks and head home.” You said while clasping your black sandals. “Tom’s gonna bring you home again?” You sighed, already knowing where this conversation was heading. “I don’t know, Bri! If he wants to.” You looked in the mirror for the last time, before taking your bag and heading out. Once Briana finally hung up, you threw your phone into your purse, getting into the cab.

The routine was the same, you got in, spotted Tom, sat in one of the many barstools, and waited for him to approach you. “What can I get this beautiful lady today?” He joked, a smile wide on his face. Today he was wearing a simple black shirt, tight around his muscles, the watch still sat proudly on his wrist, and his curls were a little bit messier than most days. “You know you don’t have to waste your pickup lines with me, Tom.” You smiled, watching his reaction. “Okay then, what can I get this grumpy old lady today?” He smirked, making you chuckle. “A Sex On The Beach, please?!” You grinned and after a quick wink, he was off.

The rest of the night passed like magic, you didn’t even see the time pass and once you took a look at your phone, you saw that it was almost time for Tom’s shift to end, which meant it was time to head home. The chilly London air hit as soon as you stepped out of the club, making you shiver, seeing as you were only in a dress. Like the gentleman he was, Tom took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders, and although you protested, saying he was going to catch a cold, he assured you he was fine with his shirt.

You didn’t know what you were thinking when the words “Do you wanna come inside?” came out of your mouth but now was definitely too late to take them back. “Oh, yeah! Sure!” Tom agreed, making you smile. The short lift ride was awkward and once you walked into your apartment, the feeling only grew. Tom stayed pretty close to the door, with both of his hands in his pockets, while you put your purse away and turned on the lights. “Welcome and sorry for the mess.” You said, going back to the living room. Tom just smiled, before saying, “You call this messy? You should see my house!” You both laughed and the tension was back in the air. “Do you want anything? Water, wine, beer?” You offered, taking off your shoes and his jacket, putting the both away. “Water would be good.” He said and you quickly made your way to the kitchen, shaking your head to try and get rid of some very intrusive thoughts.

“Thanks!” He smiled, taking the glass from your hands, while your eyes kept focused on his arm and the prominent veins and the way his shirt was almost being ripped by his bicep. “y/n? You here?” Tom’s voice brought you back, making your face grow hot with the knowledge you got caught. “Yes, sorry!” You apologized, watching as his smirk grew in size. He placed the cup on the small table by your door, before taking a couple of steps closer. Slowly, as if testing the waters, he put his hands on your hips, leaning the smallest bit in, not taking that stupid smirk off of his face.

His smell was intoxicating, the mixture of alcohol and mint was definitely making your mind clouded. “Tom…” You whispered once he was only centimeters away from you. “What is it, y/n?” He asked, looking between your eyes and your lips. “Kiss me!” You almost pleaded, his smirk the last thing you saw before his lips were crashing into yours. The feeling was new, you hadn’t kissed anyone since your ex-boyfriend and you couldn’t help but compare them. Tom’s was so much better though, his lips could be thin but they held so much power on them, his mouth worked like magic against yours, and before you knew he was pulling away, completely breathless. The pause didn’t last long though, he looked so good with his lips plumped, the tiniest of the smirks still proudly on them, you just couldn’t help yourself and launched yourself at him.

You backed him against the wall, moaning when you felt his tongue entering your mouth. Tom placed both of his hands on your ass, squeezing it before asking, “Bedroom?” Without breaking the kiss, you pointed in the direction of your room and before you knew it, he was carrying you in his arms. You squealed, wrapping your legs around his torso, before going back to his lips. He placed you on the bed, making a trail of kisses from your neck, all the way to your stomach. Once he positioned himself between your tights, he looked at you with his bright brown eyes, asking if he could take your dress off. You nodded and after a little bit of a struggle, he took the thin material out of your body, leaving you in just a pair of white underwear. “You’re so beautiful!” He whispered, going back to your lips and attacking them with kisses. “Tom, please…” You moaned, growing even more eager to feel him. “What do you want, darling?” He smirked, loving seeing you like that. “You, I want you!” With a shake on your voice, you pleaded and he finally took the clue and went to work.

After another confirmation from you, he discarded your panties, tracing his fingers through your now soaked folds. “You look amazing, y/n!” Tom breathed before going straight to your core. You let out a moan as soon as his lips touched you, making your whole body shake with pleasure. “And tastes amazing too!” He purred, focusing on his task. Your moans only grew louder when he pushed two of his slender fingers on your heat. “Fuck, Tom! Feels so good!” You blurted, not being able to control yourself. “That’s it, baby! I can feel your walls clenching around my fingers. Tell me how much do you wanna cum.” Tom whispered, making you clench even more, only by his words. “Wanna cum, Tom! Please…” You were never this talkative in bed and not once has a guy been this dominant with you but you couldn’t say you weren’t enjoying it. “Cum for me, baby! Wanna hear you scream my name!” He mumbled and finally lost control. Your whole body shook with pleasure and you had to contain yourself from closing your thighs around Tom’s head.

Once you came back from your high, you opened your eyes to find Tom already looking at you, with some of your wetness still glistening on his chin. “You alright?” He asked, concern coating his words. “Yeah!” You smiled, before going back to his lips. With a quick move, you straddled him, helping him take off his shirt, letting his chest perfectly exposed for you. You lowered yourself, leaving a trail of kisses on his jaw, neck, collarbones, chest, each one of his abs, and finally, his perfectly sculpted v line. “Are you sure? You don’t have to, I’ll be perfectly fine by just giving...” You interrupted his mumbling by attaching your lips to his, hoping it would be his answer.

With the rest of his clothes discarded, you couldn’t help but admire his body. He was perfect. Sculpted by the gods, even. After wetting your hands, you took his cock, pumping a few times before attaching your lips to it. You twirled your tongue, tasting his precum, feeling him grow harder and harder on your hands. “Holy shit, you feel so good, y/n!” His words of encouragement were enough for you to start moving your head up and down, taking his member into your mouth inch by inch, until he was bucking his hips. “Fuck! You’re bloody amazing, darling!” He praised, while making direct eye contact with you, “But if you want more, you better stop before I coat your throat with my cum.” You had to admit, his dirty talk was doing something to you.

Releasing his cock with a loud pop, you climbed on top of him, kissing his lips. “Do you have a condom?” He asked between kisses. “Bedside table, first draw.” You answered and after a loud smack on your ass, you got off of him, both of you wearing playful smiles on your faces. Tom opened the foil package and rolled the material into his member, positioning himself at your entrance. “You sure you wanna do this?” He asked, making sure you wanted this as much as he did. “Yes, Tom! I want you to fuck me!” You said, kissing his lips.

With both of his hands on your hips and a huge smirk on his face, he pushed himself into you, making you moan. It took you a few seconds to get used to him and once you nodded, Tom started to move, bringing another level of pleasure to your body. “Fuck! You’re so tight around me, y/n!” He whispered, biting your earlobe. “Tom, fuck me harder!” You pleaded, wanting nothing more than to be railed by him. That seemed to take Tom by surprise but he was quick to obey your wish, thrusting harder and harder into your soaking wet core. “You look so beautiful like that, all sweaty, begging me for more!” He kept praising you, feeling how much you liked when he did.

With both of his arms by your head, he caged you, tattooing your face with kisses. “Feel so good, Tom! Please, make me cum!” You mumbled, by now barely able to form sentences. Tom was quick to obey and once his fingers found your clit, rubbing small circles in it, you were gone. Toes curling, you arched your back, getting a handful of the mattress in one hand while the other scratched Tom’s back. “Fuck, y/n!” With a final thrust of his hips, Tom reached his high, moaning your name like it was the most beautiful prayer.

He collapsed on top of you, leaving a long kiss on your lips, before getting up and tossing the condom on the trash. You went to the bathroom to clean yourself up, seeing as you were too tired to take a shower, and asked him if he wanted that too. He agreed and once you were decent enough, you put on clean panties and his discarded shirt, asking him to join you on the bed. Of course, he accepted, he wasn’t planning to go anywhere either so, after putting his boxers back on, he climbed on the bed with you.

You quickly doze off but right before you did, you admitted to yourself that, like most of the time, Briana was right, and going to that new club wasn’t a bad idea after all.

tagging: @stuckonspidey @bi-writes @duskholland @screamholland @missnxthingg @tomhollandthing @wazzupmrstark @peeterparkr @veryholland @spideyspeaches-deactivated20221 @lauras-collection @tommybaholland @rebekkah4766 @hopelessromm @pensivepeter @geminiparkers @mrs-hollandstan @hollandcreep @uglypastels

#my writing #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland one shot #tom holland fic #tom holland smut #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x fem #bartender!tom #bartender!tom x reader #tom holland writing

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eideticmemory · 3 years

Text

68 KILL | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

You met Chip Taylor just a little bit too soon.

Word Count: 1.4k.

Warning: 19 year age gap, roll with it 😎

Admittedly, you did look fucking fantastic that night.

But, atrract-a-forty-year-old-celebrity fantastic? You don’t like to hype yourself up that much. It’s his fault. He caught your attention. He hyped you up.

Whispered a gentle, “Excuse me?” as you were speaking to a friend, completely oblivious to the man walking up behind you.

Your friend raised their eyebrows, focused on Matthew with their mouth hung open, just a little. The expression silenced you completed, mid-thought, and you turned around, slowly. You came face to face with his chest first, perfectly pressed in a nice suit. You had to tilt your head up to see his face. And fuck, what a pretty face it was. Scruffy, but balanced by that perfect mess of curls on his head.

And if you thought you were smitten, Matthew . . . Matthew knew the moment you looked at him, that he’d never made a better decision in his life.

“Hi . . . ” was all you could say. Hi. Really? Hi?

“Hi . . .” he replied. And you felt a bit better, knowing he was at a loss for words, aswell. “I’m Matthew,” he smiled. A goofy smile. You heart did a hop, skip, and a jump.

Where the hell did you come from, Matthew?

You shook the hand that he had offered you, and it was big that your hand completely disappeared in his.

“I’m [y/n],” you smiled back.

You wish you could say that was it. That after that is was nothing but happily ever after, no nerves, no anxiety.

But, Matthew, fucking Matthew, with his perfect face and his perfect voice and his perfect . . . everything to it upon himself to ask for your number, ask you on a date, call you to say goodnight. All in one night.

And you knew nothing about him. Nothing except for these butterflies in your tummy and a gnawing, aching feeling that . . . for the first time in your life, you felt love at first sight.

“Help,” you begged your friend. Your closest friend, they must have the answer, right? Luckily, they did. Told you he was Matthew Gray Gubler, actually. Not just Matthew. Gray Gubler. Get it right.

You googled him. You got so wrapped up in the Criminal Minds, Dollface, Newness mess that you completely skipped over the whole, born in 1980 thing.

“I heard 68 kill is good,” your friend shrugged. “It’s on netflix.”

“Cut it on.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” you nodded. “Wait, is there a reason I should not be sure?”

“Okay, I’m putting it on before you go into full panic . . . just watch the dude, okay? Maybe you won’t like him so much afterwards.”

“Oh, yeah!” You panicked. “That helps, thanks!”

Wait.

Oh, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

“He’s shirtless!” You exclaimed.

“He’s hot.”

“Stop!”

“Look at him.”

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

“He’s looking at her boobs! I don’t have any boobs!”

“[y/n]! Please!”

So, you suffered in silence. Suffered. He’s so pretty. He’s gorgeous. What the fuck? And this hot ass woman is slapping him and choking him.

“Okay,” you breathed. Took in a deep breath, “Okay, it’s over, he has a shirt on now.”

“He’s still hot.”

“Would you please.”

He is still hot. Sweating through a grey shirt with the hem tucked into those tight jeans. He is beautiful. It’s sappy. But it’s all you can say.

Oh, great, hot lady’s back. With guns.

Wait.

Oh, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

No.

“No!” You shout, attempting to cover the sounds of Matthew’s groans and grunts from the TV. You closed your eyes shut, covered you face. “Turn it off!”

“Are you sure? She is fucking the life out of him, wow.”

“Off!”

The TV went silent and you uncovered your face. But, your friend had only silenced the movie, and you watched. Watched Matthew’s lips move against hot lady’s like metter against warm bread. Watched. Focused. Couldn’t catch your breath. Watched. Wanted it to be you.

Hot. He’s so hot.

“Turn it off.”

You woke up on Sunday — date day — way too late. Way too late, Matthew was supposed to pick you up in an hour. An hour! And if you’re late, it’s his fault. It’s absolutely his fault. For being gorgeous, and kind, and texting you every day just to make you as comfortable for today as possible. Telling you goodnight, and telling you he’d see you tomorrow. And for . . . haunting your dreams, all night, every night, with his lips like butter on warm bread.

You showered, quickly, fixed your hair, quickly, got dressed, quickly. Everything was quick. Panicked. Rushed. Then, you open the door and saw Matthew’s face. The flowers he brought for you. And time slowed down.

He had brought hot dogs and chips in a little pinic basket. One of the perfect ones, made with wicker, with the plaid table cloth on top. The park was isolated, private, romantic. Smelled like fresh flowers and clean cut grass. The meadow of it was surrounded by flowers every color of the rainbow.

Matthew set your pinic up right in the center.

“You’re a romantic, I see,” you giggled, sat beside him on the table cloth, which shielded your clothes from the soft grass.

“Only when . . . I really, really like someone.”

You blushed.

“That’s you, by the way,” he added, followed by a cute chuckle.

“I figured,” you nodded, and you stared at him for a few seconds. He stared at you. Both of you felt like you could do it for hours.

But, instead, you ate. You talked. You laughed. A lot. The old man had a sense of humor, and he joked about being too long to lay on the table cloth.

“You’re like an extra long slim jim,” you joked.

“Exactly what I was thinking,” he cackled.

As you were sat cross-criss beside him, he absentmindedly put his hand on your knee as you two laughed.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you had to gulp to rid yourself of the ache. It couldn’t have hit you at the worst time — the thoughts, about his lips. Butter. Warm bread.

You were a little shy the rest of the day, just a little. Had a bit of trouble looking him in the eye. But, Matthew’s got this way of talking you out of your shell, every time he opens his mouth.

You were sad to pull up in front of your place. Sad to know the date was ending, and you two would be dramatically separated.

You both knew it would only be for a few days, though. Neither of you could handle any longer.

You stared, at each other, you stared again. The light catching him through the windshield of his car like a halo. The light accentuated his eyes, his nose, his lips. Soft lips. Looking at them. It made your mouth water.

So, you licked your lips, and leaned in. He leaned in, like he’d been waiting. And waiting, and waiting, and waiting. You took his face in your hands and kissed him gently, your fingers twirling the ends of his hair.

It was a good kiss, your first kiss. The perfect kiss. But the second one . . . the one you had after the initial rush had set in, after you found out his lips really were like butter. Soft, on warm bread.

That kiss was better.

He finally put his hands on you, and that was when you unbuckled your seat belt. You crossed the dashboard, just to perch yourself in his lap.

“Oh, wow, okay, wow,” he rambled, overwhelmed, and blushing underneath you.

His body was warm, and he pulled you against it as your moved your mouth on his.

“I would’ve . . . mm . . . I would’ve given you . . . a better — date — for this.” Matthew said, between kisses.

You threw your head back at laughed. “Today was perfect,” you told him, his jaw between your thumb and your fingers. “Absolutely perfect. Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” he planted soft kisses on your jaw.

“Oh, you’re just saying that because I’m on top of you.”

He giggled, grazed his lips against yours, as he ran his thumb over your temple, “You’re a good kisser.”

You couldn’t help but snickered to yourself, “Yeah . . . so are you.”

Then, you were back to it. Back to him, to pulling him close and sticking your tongue in his mouth. Completely unaware that you two were being watched.

From the window, you friend shook their head, pursed their lips, “Fucking 68 kill.”

#mine #mgg #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #chip taylor #68 kill

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moralesispunk · 3 years

Text

Reacting to You Being Insecure

For: Frankie Morales, Din Djarin, Marcus Moreno, Javier Peña, Agent Whiskey, Pero Tovar, Oberyn Martell, Marcus Pike.

In response to request from @hnt-escape for how they help you relax when you hate every piece of clothing you own.

Frankie - We all know Frankie can be a bit insecure himself sometimes but he doesn't understand how you can be. He walks by the bathroom and sees you looking in the mirror tugging on the short outfit you are wearing on this hot summers day. He walks in behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist but when he sees the sadness in your eyes he turns you to face him.

He takes you face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs across your cheeks. He asks you to tell him what is wrong and can't understand why you don't think you look good.

"You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Every inch of you is perfect and your clothes show that! If you don't feel comfortable then we can go look for something else for you to wear but I think you look amazing as you are. It shows off your lovely arms, and your beautiful hips, that amazing ass and wonderful thighs," he has you smiling and laughing by the end as he lists everything he loves about you.

Din - He comes down from the cockpit to find you pulling at your T-shirt, looking at your reflection in the shiny walls of the ship. He doesn't understand why you look so upset with what is staring back at you - he thinks you are the most beautiful, strong, wonderful person in the galaxy. He walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling your hands away from the material. He gently asks you to stop, turning you around to face him and taking you into his arms. It's not too often he initiates such soft moments but seeing you unhappy will make him do it. He will hold you in his arms, whispering how beautiful you are to him -

He loves your arms and how you hold him in them so carefully when he comes back from an especially tough bounty, and no your t-shirt doesn't make them look funny.

He loves your hips and how he can grip onto them or can pull you closer, and no you t-shirt doesn't hug them too tight.

Your thighs, well they're one of his favourite, and he loves when you sit across his lap and he can hold onto them or how strong they are when you run along beside him, and no your trousers do not make them look big.

He will whisper all this until you believe he and he will do this whenever he needs to.

Marcus M - This would break Marcus's poor heart. The two of you were meant to be going out on a date night tonight but after pulling out your whole wardrobe you don't feel happy in anything you wear. He hates to see you look this sad especially when it's about your body that he finds amazing.

He tells you he can cancel the table and you can just stay home tonight, Missy is still going to stay at her grans anyway. He orders food in and finds a funny movie to watch, hoping to distract you until you feel better. Once your mood is a bit better he will turn you to face him, telling you everyone has those days but you are beautiful.

"Do you not think that I feel a bit insecure about the way my tummy looks sometimes? We all have days where we have those thoughts but just know you shouldn't listen to them. You are perfect and beautiful as you are and I will tell you that," he kisses you, "every moment of every day."

Javier - He is a very physical man and that is what would make you feel better. He got home a little earlier than you thought and found you sitting on your bed in a towel. Just as he is about to make a comment about how he needs to come home early more often if this is how he finds you, he stops and sees your face and the sadness in your eyes. He looks at the pile of clothes next to the closet. He decides to play off he hadn't noticed to try and make you feel better first.

"Welcome home to me," he strides towards you kneeling in front of you.

"Hey Javi, how was work," you put on a fake smile.

"Hmm we can talk about it later?" He reaches up and loosens the towel around you to let it fall to the floor.

He shuffles you up the bed and starts to make love to you. After a few moments he begins to place kisses all over you, tell you how he loves your body and every piece of it. He sees the sadness in your eyes slowly fade away until your usual sparkle is back. He knows he will talk about how you were feeling soon but for now he will just hold you in his arms.

Whiskey - Talk about showering you with love. This man will hear you on the phone to a friend telling them how much you hate all your clothes on. When you come off the phone he'll walk over, placing his hands on your hips.

"Darlin' what in the world are you talking about? You're the most gorgeous, stunning, world stoppingly beautiful person I ever did lay eyes on and some clothes in a closet shouldn't make you think different. Now, let me show you just how much I mean all that, sweetheart."

Pero - Since Pero settled in the village working as a blacksmith you take him his lunch every day. You sit outside his hut and eat together as you tell him about your day when a beautiful woman walks by. You're suddenly insecure at how well her clothes suit her, seeming to hug her in the right way every way you feel yours doesn't. Pero sees you look at her and tug at your own layer of clothing. He turns to face forward.

"I promise one day I'll have many coins to spend on beautiful fabric to have garments as lovely as you deserve."

You turn to look at him, seeing the sadness in his eyes as he looks at the obviously expensive clothes the woman wears and you stop to grab his hand with yours.

"No, my love. You buy me the most beautiful clothes I just wish I could wear them as they deserve to be worn."

"There is no one in this land more beautiful than you, my love. Please, do not think yourself any lesser," he leans down and presses a kiss to your lips, gently stroking your cheek as he does so.

He is not a man of many words but his small gestures of affection are enough to make you feel better.

Oberyn - There is a feast two days from now for another Lord travelling to the land. You try and take off all the dresses, not feeling good in any of them. Oberyn finds you sitting on your bed, looking at the clothes surrounding you.

"What's wrong, my love?"

"I just- none of these beautiful dresses look good on."

"What do you mean?" He sees the look on your face, disheartened as you avoid his eyes "These dresses are beautiful because you wear them so. If you want a new dress, I can have one made but, you look wonderful in them all, the most beautiful person in all the lands."

Marcus P - There was a work party this weekend and you tried on everything in your closet. You lie down on your bed with a groan, throwing your arm over your eyes.

"What's wrong, honey, you're going to crinkle your dress" Marcus walks in fixing his cuff links.

"Who cares, it already looks horrible," you groan.

"What?" Marcus pulls you to your feet, "tell me what you think is wrong with it?"

"Everything, my tummy, my legs, my arms."

Marcus spins you around to face the mirror, resting his hands on your hips and head on your shoulder.

"All I see, is my beautiful girlfriend who is going to make everyone in their tonight jealous because you're on my arm, not theirs."

You look up at his eyes and upon seeing the pure adoration for you, you finally smile.

"You think?"

"I know," he turns you and places a kiss on your lips.

Permanent tag list // @phoenixhalliwell @asta-lily

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natsukitakama · 3 years

Text

Celebrating valentine’s day with the chaotic trio (Itadori, Gojo and Megumi)

Author note : today is very special day. I don’t know if you’re currently dating someone, or if you’re single (welcome please have a sit) I want you to do all the things you love. Don’t be sad because today you’re not dating someone, be proud because you are you, you’re alive and I’m so proud of you. My words won’t probably be enough I’m sending you all the love you might need because you deserve this.

I hope you’ll enjoy this, I realize that in my previous headcanon about JJK I haven’t include any women which is a shame. I’m not confident enough to write about a lot of character : but I’m trying, I’ve started to read the manga in addition with watching the anime. Let me know if you enjoy it.

i promise you I'll write for more characters in JJK

Warning : none it’s short I'm sorry

i do not own those gifs credit to their owner (Itadori’s one come from tenor )

Masterlist

Itadori Yuuji

I love him, I really do he is a sweetheart, an angel whatever but he is a mess.

Seriously it’s canon that he never dates anyone is in his live. How the hell did he manage to have you by side is a mystery.

He is not complete idiot though. He knows what Valentine’s day is, but he never celebrates it, and has never met someone who celebrates it. So he is kinda confused about what he is supposed to do : a date ? Yes but it has to be special right ? Do you expect him to be super creative or just being himself ? Do you expect an expansive gift or something meanful ?

He was confused and let’s be honest he was a bit anxious about it. Cause he loves you and he wants you to feel love and honored.

Let’s be real Sukuna gives him the worst idea (because he just enjoys seeing him struggling what a meanie)

He tried to ask his sensei because Gojo is his sensei so he had to know everything … right ?

He gave up because he was talking about spicy things which makes no sense in his mind

He wanted to talk with Megumi but then he remembers that he is not good with people so he is probably not dating someone

So he went to see Nobura.

Go to see Nobura when you needs idea seriously

She gave him so many idea he had to take notes, she gave him so many advice too like about gift he needs to try something meanful instead of expensive gift. A lovely day would be nice too. As long as he spent the day with you, you’ll be fine

So he planned something simple and yet cute, he finds some cute little restaurant close to a parc where he wanted to walk after that. Then, he took you to his house for some chill time (just an excuse to cuddle because he wanted to hold you so much during your walk together)

Even in his room he thought about everything he even went as far as to buy some fluffy blanket and a lot of chocolates (and borrow some movies to watch thanks Gojo-sensei).

During the whole day until he gave you his gift he couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious. And it didn’t help that Sukuna was trying his best to stress him even more. He never had a relationship before and he was started to fall in love with you deeply, he wanted to let you know how much he loves you but he didn’t how to do it the good way.

Of course you’ll notice it, especially because he wasn’t as happy and joyful as usual. So seeing he wouldn’t say anything about it, you decided to confront it about it and he just bluntly explained to you that he was afraid that you might not appreciate his gift.

So he just went for it and gave you his gift.

It was actually a hair grip he saw you were looking after. Seeing him not daring to look at your eyes you decide to just jump into his harm to kiss him.

« Thank you so much Yuji ! I love it so much I love you »

Okay let’s say Sukuna was not only disgust by the whole love love scene in front of him but also disappoint him because he could hear Yuiji being all cocky in front of him

Gojo Satoru

another one that never celebrate Valentine’s Day before

Not because he never dates someone but because his relationship never last enough to celebrate with someone before.

So you were an expection

You might feel lucky but everyone around you would say no (I mean the man is a disaster)

Being in relationship with him would mean to expect surprise every morning because the man can’t stay still even for his own good. Sometimes you woke up with him surrounding by a lot of crisps just because he feels like it.

So you were expecting something like eating a lot with him and probably have some good quality time (hear sex and movie cause he is pretty horny like 90% of the time)

But when you woke up, no one was here even his bed was cold meaning he left a long time ago (or didn’t even come to bed). You just started your day like any usual day checking every second your phone.

You shared some texts with Gojo but nothing that might betray a plan or anything. He even told you that he was pretty busy today and might no be able to go home today.

It made you sad

Not because he wasn’t here today (you understood that he was a busy man) but it’s been a long time since you haven’t seen him and you started to miss him.

You know that Valentine’s Day was commercialized and everything but you couldn’t help but want some quality time with your boyfriend. Honestly just cuddle him while watching a movie would be perfect

But since your boyfriend would be busy today, you decided to spent the whole day going around for some shopping.

During the afternoon after buying way too many clothes, you felt your phone moving in your pocket someone was calling you.

It was Gojo wondering why you weren’t at home ? You didn’t answer at first like How could he possibly know that ?

Feeling that you might be surprised by his comment he just told you that he went home early to spend the afternoon with you.

You didn’t even bother to answer you just run like your life depend on it. He was here he wanted to surprise you.

When you finally managed to be in your house you left everything and just go for a hug.

« Hehe look at you all pouty for me did you miss me that much ? »

« You have no idea how much I missed you »

« Guess I’m just so incredible you couldn’t get enough of me »

« I guess so »

He teases you during 10 whole minutes until someone knocked at your door.

During your run, Gojo called a caterer and a florist to apologize for not being here lately and also because he wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day with you (he won’t tel you that he show off during his whole day at work)

He wanted to take you at a restaurant to enjoy some good quality foods but he discovered from Nanami that you seemed a bit off lately, it didn’t take him a long time before realizing that you were missing him.

So he planned to spend the whole night love you and remind you how much he was into you.

You shared good food together, watched some movies. You were actually very into one action movie until you felt some lips on your neck.

Not need to say you never saw the end of the movies but that’s okay since you were busy being taken care of by your lovely boyfriends

When it came to your gift, he bought you a gorgeous ring. He joked about being a test for when he would finally ask you the very specific question.

This day you never managed to know if he was joking or not

Megumi fushiguro

he is also a disaster but not because he doesn’t know what to do (he has some ideas thanks to social media) but because he doesn’t know how to behave with people I mean he can talk to them. But 99% of the time you’re starting a conversation and he follows

But today is a special day it’s Valentine’s Day and for once he wants to be in charge about your date (even tough sometimes he suggest some place to go you’re just too excited he can’t stop you he doesn’t want to it).

Like Itadori he started to ask Gojo-sensei (since he seemed very comfortable with those kind of things) but didn’t find anything interesting so he just left without letting his sensei showing off about how many people he seduced blabla

So he went directly into Maki which wasn’t a good idea. Not that she didn’t have any idea but she was like « why would you celebrate Valentine’s Day ? Aren’t you supposed to cherish Y/N on every single day ? » which wasn’t true anyway

So he left without any idea and couldn’t manage to ask kugisaki about it he knows he wouldn’t stop hearing about it. So he just looked through social media, Pinterest anything that might interest both of you

He choosed to take you in some place where you can both relax and have some sweets. It was a very romantic place full of books with couch everywhere it was very comfy. He loves it especially because he could enjoy some quality time without being surrounding by people.

Then you insisted on going into your place so you could cuddle since he is not comfortable with PDA in public other than holding hand.

When you were home, you guys just cuddle in his bed enjoying some music together. No words needed to be said, just feeling his hand stroking your hair was enough for you and when it came to him, having you by his side was enough to melt his heart.

As a gift he decided to buy you a book where all of his pages where white. He wanted you to decorate it as you wanted, and you decided to put all of your pictures you take with him like your own made album.

He never told you that actually in the end of the books he writes something for you. It was actually pretty simple but it means everything for you.

« Hi Y/N i just wanted to tell you that I love you so much. I know I should say it out loud more often but you know I’m not comfortable with this kind of things. Thank you for being with me, i cannot wait to see how this book would look once it’s full - Megumi »

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itadori yuuji #itadori yuuji x reader #gojo satoru #Gojo satoru x reader #fushiguro megumi #Megumi Fushiguro x reader #Megumi x reader #itadori x reader #Gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fushiguro #jjk itadori #jjk gojo #fushiguro Megumi x reader

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dodo-begone · 3 years

Text

Ugly Fuckling

Pairing: Yandere!Xisuma x Reader

Request: mmm for requests: some soft yandere shit with any character, maybe??

Word count: 3.9K

Warning: yandere, cursing, depression (?), Anxiety (?), angst (to comfort), dissociation

Part 2 for this is Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

If this EVER looks funky/glitched (which it def is now) I have this up properly on Ao3.

__________________________________________________________

The shopping district made you uneasy. Life just seemed to course through the area. Even without anyone actually being there to give it the energy. It was cramped though; everything was practically on top of each other. Yet it gave such a homey feeling. Like everybody who made the buildings actually liked each other; they all were a representation of how everyone was different but still similar to a family. Standing in front of all of the shops made you feel intimidated. Small, insignificant, inadequate.

You start your journey through the district, looking and giving every build the attention it deserved. It was all in an attempt to imbed everything into your memory. After all, you wouldn’t be around for much longer. Someone like you, who was so alien to the server, shouldn’t just try and worm their way into such an amazing community like this. Especially when they have nothing to offer for said community.

You hadn’t realized where you were walking until you stood in front of Grian’s barge. It was so gorgeous and well made. Grian told you how it began as a small little boat build and progressively grew to the giant floating market it is today. The story was awe inspiring; like an ugly duckling, it grew into something majestic after starting at such humble beginnings. Yet it did little to lift your spirits now. Yeah the barge started as a simple build, but it was still beautiful in its tiny state. And Grian had the talent and skill to make ginormous and intricate builds. You had neither of those abilities.

Slowly you made your way closer to the barge. At the entrance there were numerous posters all bunched together on a post. All for the mayoral campaign. They were so cute, each having a unique look. Representing their mayors very well. But Scar’s. Oh Scar’s was just elite. It was a plain wooden sign; a small but even more unique technique when compared to the others. Nothing beat some good ole fashioned petitioning. You let out a small giggle at the sight of Scar’s sign next to the others. It seemed very out of place. Seemed like a solid representation of you with the hermits. And at the same time it reminded you so much of the Dream smp.

The Dream smp… your old home. Calling the dream smp home feels wrong; you barely felt safe there, but you knew that you were wanted there. Even if just a few actually cared about you, loved you. You fit in so much better there. Your horrendous builds could easily blend in with the others or better yet, stand out amongst the surrounding disasters to look semi-decent. Yes there were actual beautiful builds, just like any other server, but they were few and far between. Those builds were under constant threat of being griefed or destroyed, just like all of the others. Yet everybody seemed mostly okay with it. They would be upset when it would be destroyed, like any normal person would. But they only had two options when presented with the rubble; pick up the fragments and rebuild from the ground up or forever abandon what was once a masterpiece.

With the hermits, there was order there. The chaos was controlled, which was an odd concept to you. Chaos on the Dream smp ran rampant, destroying anything in its path. And there even seemed to be a “type” of person that was deemed a “hermit”. Thought it was hard to pick out something that everybody had in common. But you knew one thing; you didn’t fit the description of a hermit.

On the Dream smp, everything was always on the brink of destruction and very tense. Things could change on the flip of a dime. Nothing was guaranteed. And yet you still wanted to go back there. To feel wanted, important, enough, to be validated. To be so much more than you were with the hermits. With the hermits, you were only an imposter; everything they said to or about you was a lie. Had to be a lie. Why else would you be like this super kinda and incredible person? The person they were describing wasn't even you. It was a whole different person, how could they not see that?!

Leaning against the outerwall of the barge, you slowly slide to the ground. You start a panoramic view from your new position. It only made you feel worse; you felt detached from your body. Like you were watching a movie of you and your life from an outsider’s view. But you had control of your body and could still kinda see through your eyes, which made it feel even weirder. So more like you were walking through a movie that you weren’t made for; a real person wandering the domain of a cartoon show.

A shaky breath breaks it way through your lips. Trails of tears soon start to trickle down your face, slightly obscuring the view you had. Suddenly the world becomes too big yet too small. Much duller, less important. Everything became too much yet not enough all at the same time. Soon the feeling overwhelmed you so much that you broke down into a sobbing mess. The wanted to hide your face in your hands and knees hung over you like a tsunami wave, but you knew you shouldn’t. These were your last moments and views of the hermitcraft server. Even if you couldn’t see clearly anymore. Any view was better than no view. You tried to muffle your cries; do anything to stay silent and unseen. Nobody really wanted to deal with a crying person. They just felt obligated to.

God you were such a burden on all of the hermits. You could barely support yourself with your shitty little farm. Barely any food was produced. And the hermits kept giving you stuff: ores, food, weapons, armour, just about anything you could think of. Golden carrots, golden apples, elytras, diamonds and netherite were the gifts that made you feel the worst. These were such wonderful, valuable, and useful items. Nobody would give them out for free, even to a friend. Especially as often as they did.

So you’d set out on a journey to figure out who’d gifted you stuff and return it immediately. First you just left them in a chest with a book or sign explaining that you didn’t want to accept their gift. It felt wrong that they were giving them such nice stuff. They’d always bring it back to you though. It burned your heart. Both from how sweet the gesture was and the physical pain you felt taking it from them. After a few cycles of this, people started to stop telling you who gave you that new item of yours. Even when you begged them for answers.

You had to turn to more drastic measures. Every gift you got was soon carefully investigated for any sign of who could’ve given it to you. There wasn't a way to easily get an answer from the other hermits. They had gotten suspicious of your past tactics, so you had to change your approach.

So you went with the closest guess. Even if they weren’t the one to give it to you, you’d give it to them. When the “gifter” left their base, you’d swiftly sneak in and start to put the items back in their storage. Many of them had chest monsters, so it was easier to put the items in their chests. After all, they wouldn’t really notice more items in the giant mess of items they already had. Then there were the ones with organized sorting systems. You’d search for their proper homes and place them in there. Since these people usually had big storage facilities, it wouldn't be hard to hide a few other items in there. What were the odds that they’d notice that they had a little more of an item than they last remember?

Aw who were you kidding, they’d obviously notice a whole inventory’s worth of golden carrots in their chests. But you deluded yourself into believing that your attempts worked. Believing a beautiful life was much easier and felt better than facing the less-than enjoyable truth.

When you finally calmed down enough, you went over your mental plan again. It had to be absolutely perfect. With no flaws or kinks. This couldn’t fail. Every attempt before had ended in fucking failure. You’d look so bad to the hermits if you failed in leaving again. Why did you still care about what they thought of you? That’s such a silly thing to still care about.

Each plan before had one step that’d always thwarted your leave; you always said goodbye to somebody. At first it started with a big group of hermits, but with each attempt the group got smaller and smaller.

When you’d go to say your goodbyes, the hermit you were talking to would get upset. They’d begged you to stay. Or they’d ask you to help them on this one last project. And then another hermit would ask, and then another. Until you were helping a hermit as soon as you finished a project. You were almost never alone for a while. Slowly the thought of leaving would be pushed further and further back into your mind. Until it was practically gone; only echoes of it would remain to haunt you at night. This was a continuous cycle, and you wanted it to end.

This time you weren’t going to get stopped. Having fewer people in the plan makes it easier to leave. That meant nobody was going to get an in-person goodbye. Everybody had an individual letter addressed to them from you and one for the entire server. It was better this way. They wouldn’t have the chance to stop you.

You don’t know how much time passed, nor did you really care. God you wanted to stay here so bad, yet you couldn’t. This wasn’t where you belonged. You weren’t meant to be here.

With a heavy sign, you hauled yourself off the ground and made your way to the edge of the server. Every moment was precious now, so you decided to dawdle as much as you could. Nobody was going to stop you, so you had time. After all, nobody was going to be finding the letters anytime soon.

To savor every last second on the server, you traversed by boat and foot. Yes you’d miss the elytras, but you wanted to travel the old fashioned way. The way you were used to doing it. Elytras weren’t on the Dream smp, so you needed to start getting used to not having them again.

It felt like seconds before you were at the edge. A few blinks and bam! You were at your final destination on the Hermitcraft server. It was now or never. All you had to do was take a few steps over and you would be back on the Dream smp. Yet your feet refused to move. Why weren’t they moving? This was for the greater good. Yes you wouldn’t be happy there immediately, but you’d grow used to it again.

You started to take deep breaths, trying to hype yourself up to take the final steps. It was like three steps, come on. You can do it. The trip here was longer and harder than this. Don’t let something this small ruins all the work you’ve done. God it was like you were like a walking failure. You couldn’t even finish something you started, something you wanted done. A small part of you whispered, begged you to say with the hermits. But it was soon covered by a much louder part of the mind, telling you that this was the best thing you could do for everyone. Come on, they wouldn’t miss you at all. With one final breath, you took a step forward.

“What’re you doing?” a voice seemed to yell. God it was so quiet. Why was it so quiet? Literally any noise was too loud now.

You stopped. Oh no, did you take too long getting here? Man you really should’ve used that elytra instead. Would’ve made this trip so much easier and faster.

Slowly you turn around to see who interrupted you. And low and behold, it’s Xisuma. He was a little ways away from you, which you were thankful for. It was surprising to see him so far away from the server though. Did he find the notes. Shit, fuck, no no no-. You really hope he hadn’t found them.

“I’m just looking around” a nervous shell of your voice answers. It sounded so empty, like the wind could easily blow it away with just a single gentle gust. You desperately look over where Xisuma’s face would be in hopes of finding out what he was feeling or thinking. That mask of his blocked it, so it was futile. But you had to know what he thought about you now. Was he disappointed? Did he hate you? Especially for how you tried to leave?

“This far out,” he spreads his arms out, gesturing to the world around y’all. It was practically deserted. There was only an island, and you two were standing on it. Ocean covered the world to the horizon. Logically you knew you had no reason to be out here other than to leave. You knew Xisuma knew as well. He had to. He was the admin, after all.

“Uh,” you frantically look around, hoping to find anything to help you get out of this tense situation. You hated this. Hated confrontation. This was a reason you left the Dream smp. “Yeah I wanted a good sight for the uh- for the sunset. Yes, the sunset! It’s so pretty when you’re so far from the mainland. Away from all the buildings that could obstruct the view.”

It took a second for your words to finally hit you, and when they did it felt like a slap to the face. “I’m not saying the builds are bad,” you desperately backpedal, trying to change the possible interpretation of your words. “I mean they’re very big. Big and pretty! Yes, very pretty! But they block the skyline so easily and the sunset and sunrise are just hidden by them. And sometimes the light pollution really gets in the way of stargazing- I’m rambling aren’t I? I’m sorry.”

You stared at Xisuma, wishing for him to give you any sign as to what he was thinking. But the black visor thwarted you attempts again; his face was unviewable with his helmet on.

Wait how could you have been so self absorbed to not notice what Xisuma is wearing. He adorned a little bee/wasp (you had a hard time telling the difference at the moment) themed outfit. It was like a whole bodysuit. And he had a little bee/wasp helmet too! Oh my gosh it was the little bee outfit he owned! The one you really liked! He was actually wearing it? The outfit you said looked really good on him? No, wait. He might just like it as well. That’s probably why he’s wearing it. Stupid, remember you’re not special. Especially to anyone. Why can’t you get that through your thick brain?

Xisuma must have seen the emotional trip you just went on. It must’ve been obvious, right? Written all over your face?

“You’re not wrong,” Xisuma starts. “The builds can be rather disruptive of a good view of the sunset or sunrise. But if you wanted a good viewing spot, you could’ve just asked me. I wouldn’t have minded showing you one.”

“That would’ve been such a stupid thing to ask,” you sniffle, barely having the strength to look him in the eyes. Well, where his eyes should be. “Going up to an admin and saying ‘I can’t see the sunrise or sunset well. Can you show me a good viewing spot’ isn’t exactly something you ask an admin. Usually it’s something along the lines of ‘hey this player took my stuff’ or ‘I’m stuck in a hole and need help.’”

Silence smothers the two of you. Your words were heavy. Made your mouth dry too. Wow is it hot out or just you? It’s really fucking hot out here.

“Again,” Xisuma breaks the silence,” I wouldn’t have minded at all. I’m here for you. For the hermits. And I’m here to help. Why do you think my help wouldn’t extend to you?”

You ponder over his question. Now that he states it like that, how can you just make up a stupid excuse? The care he showed in his explanation made you feel warm and fuzzy. Even if it wasn’t a lot. It made you feel special. Just for that moment. He doesn’t deserve a sucky lie. He deserved the truth. You owed it to him. Then you’ll stop being a bother to him and leave. Right… leave.

“Because I’m not a hermit, Xisuma,” you murmur, hugging yourself for comfort. “I don’t think I ever was. Or ever will be, for that matter.”

“And why not,” Xisuma prods, taking a step towards you. “You are a hermit. You’re on the hermit server and you have been for quite a while now. Everyone loves you. They love you so much. I love you so much.”

That question hurts you. It hurts you so much and yet you have no reason for it to hurt you this much. The statement was false and you knew it. So it shouldn’t hold this much power over you. He’s wrong and you know it. But how do you break it to him?

Yeah, break the news to him. The only thing breaking is you. Xisuma’s mask, which you had once adored, scared you. Intimidated you and made you feel inadequate. The more you looked, the worse you felt.

And so you give in. “Because I’m not one of you. I’d never be one of you. No matter what I did, it’d never amount to what everyone else can do! Grian can make magnificent builds, Scar can landscape like a god, and Mumbo can make literally anything and everything out of redstone. Everybody has something that they’re good at, something they specialize in. And me,” your voice cracks. You drop to the ground on your knees, curling into yourself. “I can’t do anything. I can’t build, can’t farm and I can’t even do simple redstone. I’m a literal dunce. I’ll never be able to do anything right. I’ll never be enough, especially on a server like this with so many incredible people like you. And everyone is so nice. I don’t deserve this kindness. I’m a horrible person. And-and I just don’t belong here. It’d be better if a burden like me is gone, out of your hair. It’d be better if I went back to the Dream smp. Where I can’t be a burden to anybody here.” You finally break down. Sobs shook your body and any words that came out after that were unintelligible.

Suddenly there’s a presence near you, giving you a hug. You flinch, but know it’s Xisuma. Who else could it be? He was the only one here with you. He lets go of you slowly, but you quickly latch onto him and hide in the crook of his neck. You really wanted some comfort. You wanted Xisuma’s hugs. You didn’t want to be left alone.

He goes back to gently holding you, quietly telling you that everything was going to be okay. And other things. Everything just went in one ear and out the other. But he’s giving you soft and steady backrubs. You snuggle closer to him. God this was like a whole comfort package! It just made you want to cry harder. And he just stays there! Letting you cry on him. He’s so nice to little ole you.

Soon you tuckered yourself out from crying. You’re so tired, but you’re still crying. Sadness just courses through you. But you’re so tired. Slowly your sobs turn to sniffle and you try to bring him even closer to you.

“Feel any better,” he tries his best to look at you after your sniffles are all that’re coming out of you. It’s really hard to look at someone so close to you.

You nod against him, too tired to answer verbally. Plus your voice probably sounds terrible and wouldn’t be able to handle answering anyways.

He picks you up, holding you close to him and walks away from the border. You’re so thankful that Xisuma is carrying you. It makes you feel so loved. And your body was so weak after your breakdown.

Soon you two are on a boat, heading back to the rest of the hermits. He’s rowing y’all home. You cuddle into him, wanting as much physical contact as you can get. You’re so tired, but you don’t want to sleep just yet. But you still doze off anyways. As you do though, Xisuma starts to talk to you.

“Thank you for staying with us. With me. I really appreciate that. I love you, remember that. I’ll tell you that a million times if I have to. I’d tell you daily, hourly. Whatever you want. Just don’t leave, please. I love you so much. It’d hurt if you left. If I lost you. But it also hurts to see you in so much pain. Oh I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you sooner. I should've seen the signs. But I’m here. I’ll help you. I love you so much. I’ll stay with you as long as you’re with me. I’d follow you to the end and back.”

You can’t exactly hear what he’s saying, but it must be really nice. The tone of it is so comforting. Wait hold up. Weren’t you doing something. Struggling to stay awake, you mind scrambles for an answer. The border. Yes, the border! You were there. But for what? You couldn’t remember anymore. But was it important if you forgot? Oh who cares, you got Xisuma with you! You were home! That’s all that mattered.

As you finally start to drift off, you mutter an ‘i love you’ to him, finally falling into a well deserved slumber.

#tw: yandere #dodo writing #mcyt x reader #tw: cursing #tw: depression #tw: anxiety #tw: dissociation #tw: angst #hermitcraft x reader #xisuma x reader #yandere #yandere xisuma #c: xisuma #hermitship

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