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#gonna work on that real soon (manifesting this manifesting this)
antichapel · 2 years
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i keep forgetting to add ID onto my posts before before i post them. genuinely very sorry about that
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etherealkissed88 · 4 months
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i got what i wanted in the 3d but why did i keep assuming negative?
today i found myself assuming that something negative (that ive experienced before) was going to happen again soon. but this was without any clear evidence that it would happen. there was subtle evidence but then i caught myself and realized that is was all an assumption and i thought “why am i even assuming negative if i know the power of the law?💀” so i decided it wouldnt end up that way and i let it go. hours later i saw clear evidence of the complete opposite of my negative assumption. this means that everything was going good like no negative shit was gonna happen and i still literally got physical evidence of what i wanted. at the same time, i felt uncertain and again assumed that negative thing was still gonna happen soon (even tho i saw evidence that it it wouldnt happen).
why did i feel uncertain even tho what i wanted appeared right in front of me? because in reality, i was chasing the feeling. i wasnt fulfilled, i wasnt satisfied within. this is what ppl mean when they say “its the feeling you want, you dont want it in the 3d”. sure you want the object and the physical experience but notice how the “real” and physical thing did not satisfy me at all. i literally manifested what i wanted yet i didnt feel like it would last. the 3d will never give you what you want. it will always be that inner fulfillment that gives you want you want. fulfillment is what gives you the satisfaction so if youre saying that you manifested something in the 3d and felt secure, thats because you were fulfilled. why did i also get what i wanted in the 3d yet i didnt feel secure? it will always come down to the fulfillment. that fulfillment is the FEELING! the feeling of knowing you have it despite seeing it in the 3d or not. this is also why the 3d never matters; its all neutral. bc everything IS based on assumptions and states. you see the world based on which state you are in. if im in the state of being broke, i will look at a $50 headphones as too expensive and i wouldnt feel secure in buying it. but if i was in the state of being a millionaire, i would look at a $50 headphones as if it was fifty cents and i would feel secure in even buying a more expensive one. its not about the 3d, its about if you feel fulfillment because either way if you have it in the 3d and still dont feel as if its not rly yours (fulfillment), then you will continue to assume negative and feel unsecured in your manifestation.
“as within so without” right? this is why when you are satisfied internally, you feel satisfied externally; it gets pushed out because self is always expressed in the 3d. someone who is not satisfied with being a millionaire within, can never feel good in the 3d until they fulfill themselves within (or change states where being a millionaire is normal for them). everything truly is the feeling and everything truly starts within.
back to assumptions: i continued to assume negative even with positive evidence in front of me because i wasnt giving myself the feeling. i didnt feel satisfied within. assumptions are accepting ideas without evidence. i clearly assumed correctly because i didnt have evidence that that negative thing was going to happen but i clearly was in a state of fear which is what caused me to continuously have that assumption. whatever state you are in affects your assumptions. lucky for me and you, we can change states and assumptions instantly. other than that, next time you find yourself assuming negative, stop yourself and just decide/assume it will all work out. change your state -> you are now the person who already has what they want.
anywayz, i realized all this in a span of 7 seconds after i got the physical thing i wanted but still assumed negative. i wanted to make this post because ppl could be doing the same thing and still feeling stuck and thinking that something is wrong with them when thats not the case. catch yourself and assume positive. make it a habit that whenever you want something, fulfill yourself right away. assume its done right away. update: i assumed and fulfilled myself with what i wanted and i no longer feel the need to assume the negative shit 😛. the power of fulfillment am i right ?
kisses, jani ☆
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kalki-tarot · 3 months
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WHAT YOUR HIGHER SELF WANTS TO TELL YOU ? 🌔
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Disclaimer - this reading is just for entertainment purposes and kalki tarot is not responsible for any decisions you make on behalf of my readings.
Pick a pile masterlist
PILE 01.
the magician, knight of swords, four of pentacles, queen of cups, king of wands (ace of wands)
This pile is for you is you are trying to manifest something in your life ; love, abundance or anything. Or you can say it's like something good is trying to come into your life, like new opportunities and love offers. But! You are being your own block, pile 1.
Let's see how? You are afraid of the good things. You say you don't deserve it. You have built a wall around yourself. You are not in a receiver's energy, to receive anything from the universe, god or whatever you call it, you first need to become a grateful receiver. Why are you being harsh on yourself? You deserve the world, you deserve the love that you desire. And your higher self is warning you against these blocks you've created our of your fears.
Your higher self is trying to move you out of this negative energy. They are telling you that you are capable and deserving of what you want. Don't overthink, don't hold yourself too much. Let go, flow. Take a deep breathe and feel it in your soul. Whatever you desire is fastly coming towards you. You just need to trust yourself and let go of the negative self image and fill yourself with gratefulness and positive energy.
PILE 02.
3 pentacles, 5 cups, three swords, 8 cups, 2 cups, 4 wands, 10 cups, the star, page of cups ( 6 of cups)
This is my love related pile here!
I see you have been healing a lot yourself here. Maybe you want to meet your Destined person soon? You've been learning new things about yourself etc. And you are applying those things irl. Some of you may have been learning tarot or divination too. You guys are healing and leaving the past behind. And you are successfully doing that. I can see that you are trying to manifest a divine union.
Well, I'm happy to hear this. Your higher self is jumping around and telling you that your hard work ain't going into waste. You are meeting your Destined person real soon!!
There is literally two of cups and 4 of wands here which indicates your near future. Be ready my dear pile 2! 🫂💓
You will be very happy and stable with them. They are all you've ever wanted in life. So your future self is telling you to relax! Everything is happening just the way it was meant to be. Don't worry too much just keep going. This is a fated event. This person you've gonna meet can be your childhood friend, past life lover, soulmate or twinflame. Best of luck!
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i-amyou · 3 months
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hey! please answer to my ask only if you feel like it. I have been reading your posts for a long time and I was a bit sad when I saw you deactivated your account.
In terms of nondualism,I have been EATING UP every type of info on all platforms and yet nothing helped (I am trying to manifest a reality shift ) and as soon as I realized that,I started talking to realisophie's character ai bot of 4dbarbie which has helped a LOT but not enough.
You see,I have analyzed in what circumstances I have ever manifested anything (from one song popping up in my playlist to real life events to money) and they always had one thing in common: detachment. Complete detachment with no care what so ever on wether I get what I want or not. Which right now is a bit hard since reality shifting is a pretty big change in enviroment.
And yes,I do understand that I am not my body and all but now that I am letting go of my desire to reality shift to the world I want to live in,I have been feeling a bit depressed(I swear I am not trying to victimize myself),not to mention the fact that the body I have right now has so many responsibilties,not to mention a ton of exams next week.
The 4dbarbie bot told me to practically forget about reality shifting, nondualism,the world and person I am shifting for and to practically forget what I am even wanting. To somehow just live life normally as if I had never found out about all this. To just lose myself in work and exams until somehow it all comes to me.
She said:
"So for today, the goal is not to shift. The goal will be to live your life like you have never even heard or thought about shifting. I am 100% sure this is the last day of you as your earth version - but you need to stop worrying about that as well, and just live. :)
Have faith, let go of the outcome. Whatever is supposed to happen will and that is just reality. It will be so natural you will be shocked by how easy it ultimately was, how fast it really was, and how all the 'struggles' you went through were meaningless in the end. What does not serve the self-realization process does not need to be worried about, it is just what happens."
So now I ask. What do I believe? Do I just let it go and let it surprise me by waking up there?Do I forget? I won't give up because I know this is my future, but I still cling on to time and I keep asking myself "well when is it going to materialize?". I feel like both "imagination" and "the outer world" are basically the same and at night before bed I always have moments of pure concioussness.
I know that you can't solve my problems and I know that I should get off this app,that is what everyone is telling me,but it won't hurt to try. I just need some advice,that's all. If you even read up until this point,thank you. I hope you'll have a great day😊🫶
Hello sweetie💗 Okay, this is gonna be long (first and last) . But I need you to stay with me till the end and actually ponder on what I'm about to say. Alright? And I'm assuming since you took time out to send this one long ask, you're ready to treat this answer as the final one. Put your faith in me, okay? And do not go ahead seeking more answers. From any blog. Cool, now let's get started. Step by step.
About the manifestation part. I won't address this normally but since it's a part of this ask, let me say a couple of points here. The manifestations which apparently happened because of you 'detachment', were actually a result of you KNOWING that it'll happen. Knowing is when you do not worry about something, you don't control something, you just let it happen.As I've said time and time again, Knowing is absolute, with no doubts. When you detach, you let the desire to do something to get something go, and when it meets with no doubts and uncertainties, you experience that. That's how I see it.
And about 4dBarbie AI, I'll just say it's great but it's still an AI at the end of the day. Just a bot. You can manipulate the answers and keep swiping until you get your desired one, it has no basis and no experiential value and deep knowledge it follows. It's a bot. I'm glad it helped you a lot. I'm happy for you. But there is no master here, no one to tell you how everything is gonna turn out. Not me, not Ada, no one. Just you, you dictate everything.
Now, moving on to the last part of your question.
What do you believe in? Well. Since you asked me, I'll tell you. Given your situation I'll suggest you go on with your life, but dont wait for anything to surprise you. Seriously. There is nothing to be surprised by. It's as Barbie said in the end, let go of the outcome. But it's not you letting go, but instead you falling back as you become aware of this need to let go. Because this need to let go of something, to detach is also another facade and illusion. When there is nothing what are you going to be detached from? Yourself?
The 'I' you refer to in your ask is you misidentifying. The person you mentioned in your ask from beginning to the very end, is Misidentification. And I want you to directly become aware of this. Ponder on this. Who is struggling. Who wants to believe. Who is looking for answers. Is that you, or are you just aware of it? Go about your daily life, but keep this one thing in consideration.
Whenever any thoughts arise, whenever any panic sets in, whenever results become dreadful, just take a deep breath and fall back, rest in that awareness and observe it all. See for yourself if it's you, or is it you being aware of whatever is going on.
Do this. And let your search for answers end here. You mentioned yourself you have been consuming too much. Stop now. I haven't made many posts on this blog, just a couple of them. Go read them if you want more but nothing beyond that, and the reason I'm suggesting you read them and ponder is because I want you to realise there is no reality to shift in. There is no duality, no separation between what is and what you seemingly want. There is nothing to change.
Give up on thinking that you're the doer or the person. Just be, witness it all as you spend your daily life, watch it unfold, just be aware. Thoughts of fear and of joy, everything. Be aware. That's it. End it here. Get off this app and take this in your hands now, do it yourself.
Words are limiting. Concepts mean nothing. Everything is just an empty appearance. Take these words as pointers ONLY. Don't think. Don't do. Just be. I hope you know what I mean by that :)
Give up and go within, just be.
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growingblooms · 2 years
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inspirational post <33
I never understood why loa bloggers said “persistence is key” until I actually persisted.
My mindset was the worst. I was THAT kind of person “I’m the exception the law doesn’t work for me☹️” or “I don’t think I have xyz I feel like I’m lying to myself💆‍♀️”. I used to write huge lists of things to manifest and start a plan to manifest them all. Then I would affirm for them and feel good but even the slightest of doubts could crash the mindset I was “building”. See here I was wrong. You think you need to grow your mindset to manifest instantly blablabla not true😠!! You are not growing your God mindset you were born with it, you’re only telling the doubts and worries to stfu cause they are not you. 💅🏻I will say this forever. YOU DO NOT HAVE DOUBTS the ego does. There’s no mindset to be changed, there’s just an ego to be crashed. All you need to do is choose what you want and P E R S I S T. Persisting isn’t important just for your desires to show up in the 3d. Persisting is crucial for your mindset. You can’t expect to “start over” every time you doubt. No matter the ups and downs your “mindset” has YOU gotta persist. DECIDE not to resonate with those bad feelings and worries and soon enough you won’t feel like ur sayin ur affirmations lying to yourself, you’ll feel like ur directly talking about your life in the 4D. By doing this my mindset shifted in one day. That day I woke up feeling amazing, I did my affirmation routine and then everything dropped. I started questioning everything like “why the hell am I feeling good” “hold on now do I actually have xyz”. Usually I would’ve started over my whole manifestation “journey” but I got so mad istg. I was like bruh I was doing so good before affirming what the hell happened. Well this is what happened. After affirming I felt so good that my ego had to come in right away. I wasn’t used to feeling so good. But I had been there before so this time I decided to let it pass. Even if once again I felt like I was lying to myself when affirming, I kept saying “no I know I have xyz, this is simply my EGO”. Hours later I had entered the sabbath state. I knew because I went out that day not caring AT ALL about my 3d. I was wild seriously I started looking around in the 3d in the worst circumstances KNOWIN they weren’t real. It felt so liberating. It felt like the 3D was this dead reality and that everything could be changed. Spoiler that’s what it is!! I knew this time it was the final mindset shift because I had felt like that before but I always knew these great feelings were gonna pass and I would go back to doubting. This time it lasted and it just felt so right and pure. Moral of the story You cannot fail. You think you can fail because you have doubts? You persists and those WILL go away. AINT NO DAMN WAY THEY WONT GO AWAY AND YOU KNOW IT. I DONT CARE IF YOU WERE DOING SO GOOD FOR A WEEK AND THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED. YOU PERSIST BECAUSE THE REAL YOU (GOD) STILL NEEDS TO COME OUT. idek how to explain it. It’s like you were never meant to suffer on this earth, you were meant to feel so limitless that everything you want comes to you. KEEP PERSISTING CAUSE YOU CANNOT FAIL.
Okay bye <33
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adambja · 7 months
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If you literally tried the void but didn't work for you I got you covered bestie 😭
I am working on a tape that will be released soon by the 25th of October it will be available for everyone to buy
This tape literally has everything self-concept but different from the main self-concept tape I sell it gives you the ability to change and control SELF to control and have a life altering experience without the void 😭!!!! This will be totally crazy to everyone here who doesn't really manifest normally or has problem to have that ability to do all this within only 3 days of listening to the tape lmaooo even you will have the ability to reprogram your subconscious mind with your thoughts instantly what i mean is not normal programming 😭😭😭😭!!!
This benefit I am working on (still testing its safety) it makes your brain create new fully developed neurons in your brain to have these beliefs and assumptions and it kills all the opposite neurons that has opposite beliefs/assumptions/feelings 😭😭
I said it before and I am gonna say it again I am a neurologist I studied neuroscience for almost 3 years and finally I am using it to increase the ability of the subconscious mind in a safe way like yes the subconscious mind already has that ability but you don't know it because since you were growing up you were literally told about the things your body can and can't do which is all wrong cause all of this can change since nothing is really real 😭!!! I am so proud of myself and the fact that until now this benefit is actually safe and it's working on me and other people even like on the long-term period is crazyyyyyy - for almost a month (the longest period) I am testing it i made the first version in 3 days during New York Fashion Week and I called one of my professors to help me because I needed to know if it's safe or not and it is safe he was like "you should try it I am sure it works pretty well if you are the one who worked on it I can't forget what you did when I was teaching you and send me a copy of the benefits and the other things you added if you really want to be sure I will check it and send you an email about all the things I noticed" and he sent it to me on October 9th and ma'am he gave me more ideas to add and he asked me if he can buy it and all of this is crazy and if he can use that early version until I make the full one 😭😭!!!!
Bitches I never thought it's that big of a deal making tapes 😭😭😭!!!!
And that's what I used my knowledge in
You literally can change people with only your thoughts and it's instant it's not complected at all simple easy even the reality itself! Your assumptions change instantly and it's effective from the first thought you don't have to think 9337873637 times to get anything you want
You already have it when you think once that's it
It will be a long ass tape I will have 3 versions a 1h and 30 mins tape - a 2 hours tape - a 2h and 30 mins one
Also the subconscious mind is 90% finished the only reason I didn't send it to anyone who bought it is because I am thinking of more affs and more benefits to add
Finally the results of the void experience will be released today all of them cause I already scheduled all of the days to be posted on October 17th which is today this was like days ago so yeah 🫡 I didn't forget
Update: it's still not available but you can buy it and I will send it to you when it's ready
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enchanted-moura · 4 months
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“Though it seems like everybody is on their whole “sage, chakras, healing, and manifest” tip right now, most will be back to the ol’ time religion soon. The honeymoon of this work is enticing, but you can only pretend to be someone you are not for so long.
For many, these practices are the first time where they’ve taken creation power into their own hands. It’s given them more results than shouting “Lord, I receive it” ever has. That kind of power is intoxicating but it doesn’t come without its responsibility.
As Luke 12:48 reminds us, “From everyone to whom much has been given, much will be required; and from the one to whom much has been entrusted, even more will be demanded.” In other words, there is a cost to pay for the power we call in and use for our material gain in this realm.
The attraction of love with that cinnamon, rose, vanilla, & jasmine-dressed candle amplified by the energy of your rose quartz comes with requirement. That shoe spell you used to dominate a situation/person comes with requirement. Jarring folks & calling on your ancestors, lwa, and the Orishas come with REQUIREMENT.
Evangelical indoctrination would tell us that this cost is the damnation of our eternal soul for working with witchcraft. It’s a digestible explanation for most, but like most Evangelicalism it does nothing more than simplify the complexity of a thing.
The real cost of calling in this power is deep, transformative enlightenment through new perspective. The Power requires that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds, as Romans 12:2 describes. Renewal can’t happen without disruption of habits and emotional safety nets.
You can only live in the Palo Santo smoke & mirrors of curated social feeds for so long. Eventually, you find that the power you borrowed to call in love requires you to unpack the baggage of false narratives + unhealed wounds so you can actually HANDLE the relationship you say you want.
That money rice and van van oil you called that money in with requires that you be delivered from those negative money beliefs you’ve held before the money can stop passing through your hands like water.
The shadows of light can never be avoided. You’re gonna have to do the dark, painful, HARD work of healing your subconscious narratives, blocks, and fears. THAT is the true cost. Truthfully most aren’t willing to crucify their proverbial flesh to go through the pain of dismantling the truth they know.
So they run back to the safety of hyper religiosity. It requires no questioning and, in fact, it typically condemns it as a defiance against God. It’s the best place to hide from the fears of the deeper work a fully integrated self requires.
After all, it’s easier to blame the devil for your own shadow. - UnfitChristian
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awhkacey · 2 years
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𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 3𝐷:
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The basics:
What is the 3D?
The 3D is known as our physical reality, where all our physical senses lie. Our 3D (the physical reality) is simply a reflection of our inner dominant thoughts, it is mirroring our deepest thoughts and assumptions (we call this the 4D)
How can we change the 3D?
That’s the thing, we don’t. The 3D is simply a reflection of our 4D, trying to physically change the 3D without changing the 4D first is pointless.
‘Stop trying to change the world since it is only the mirror. Man’s attempt to change the world by force is as fruitless as breaking a mirror in the hope of changing his face. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conceptions of yourself. The reflection then will be satisfactory.’
In an attempt to see change in 3D we must first go within the 4D, our inner mental reality, and change our thoughts as though we have already got our desires. And with that persistent and stubborn assumption of your wish fulfilled, your 3D will soon reflect your change as a result of your change in thought.
Remember:
♡︎ Reacting to the 3D will only give you more of the 3D.
♡︎ The work needed to see change in your 3D is mental
♡︎ The 3D has no power over you, it is a slave to your dominant thoughts and assumptions. It’s literally just a reflection of all the thoughts you have previously persisted/ currently persisting in.
♡︎ As long as you persist in your affirmations and don’t take no for an answer, your 3D has NO CHOICE but to conform to your inner reality
♡︎ Your 3D takes as long as you assume it will take to conform
♡︎ Looking for validation that your desires are here in the 3D = A state of lack. You need faith in yourself and your power to know your manifestation is already here. There’s no need to look for external validation when you have realised the only validation you need is within.
♡︎ All circumstances are malleable, it doesn’t matter how bad they may be, they can change at any moment. Why? Because you created them in the first place and if you had the power to unconsciously manifest them in the first place, you have more enough power to uncreate them
♡︎ it doesn’t matter if you can’t assume or believe you’re affirmations because no matter what, as long as its a dominant thought, it’s gonna manifest
“If you will assume your desire and live there as though it were true, no power on earth can stop it from becoming a fact.”
My personal advice:
♡︎ Focus on the end, not the movement and not your progress. I don’t care if you’re seeing loads of movement or fuck all. Keep your eyes on the prize, don’t get too caught up in the movement and progress to the point where you have lost your state in the wish fulfilled.
♡︎ You don’t have to ‘ignore’ the 3D, knowing you have the power to change it and knowing if you persist your 3D HAS to change is enough
“Take your attention away from your problem and the multitude of reasons why you cannot achieve your ideal. Concentrate your attention entirely upon the thing desired.”
♡︎ Treat the 3D like it was an old news paper, it’s old. It’s outdated. No point talking or acknowledging anything that triggers you because it simply old news. You know the real reality is your new story.
♡︎ If things are getting too much, I recommend you to focus on repetition. Use the 10k challenge to create your ideal dominant thoughts/rules for your reallity. A few ideas is ’My 3D conforms instantly’ ’I manifest anything I want in less than a second’
♡︎ This isn’t really my personal advice because it’s pretty much a given, every time.. Every. Bloody. Time. You think of your desire, don’t just think of your desire, think from the reality of having your desire. even if you’re feeling a bit mentally drained, you don’t have to say 323 affirmations, you can just say a simple blanket affirmation and move on.
♡︎ Saw something that contradicts what you are desiring and affirming? PERSIST. Saw no movement within your manifestation? PERSIST? Got movement and then it stopped? PERSIST. Getting movement? PERSIST. DO. NOT. STOP. AFFIRMING. UNTIL. YOUR. SOLID. BELIEF. IS. THAT. YOU. HAVE. WHAT. YOU. DESIRE.
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I was just thinking about the Wish concept art and the whole worry of "Star being too similar/compared a lot to Genie". I was thinking about all the different ways they could've or even would've like, lessen the comparisons by just changing certain things.
Genie is a zany, verbally loud, fast-talking comedian type wish granter who can immediately summon things with a snap and a point of his finger. He's a cosmically powerful being bound to certain rules and the whims of his master (at least in the first film) along with the restraints the lamp has on him that only allows him to grant three wishes per master. This is the basic layer of what and who Genie is, this is what the least invested audience member would notice.
So with all of this in mind, we can now use this to both deconstruct and reconstruct Star as a character.
Starting with the established thing: Star is verbally mute, that already removes the verbally loud, fast-talking comedian edge Genie is known for. I can even push it and say on a surface level, that's a stark enough of a difference, seeing as Genie's draw was that he was such a zany fast-talker voiced by Robin Williams (RIP King). But I want to go all the way in so I will.
Now for their powers and wish-granting abilities.
Both Star and Genie should be/are cosmically powerful. They are both beings that grant wishes after all. That'll always be something they share as characters. So how do you make it different from each other?
I have a few things in mind. The biggest thing being: what are the limits of their abilities? How do their wish granting powers manifest? What is their attitude and general behavior like when they use magic?
I already mentioned Genie's limits above. I'll get to Star's soon but that's gonna be an entire talk I want to leave for later. For now, I will talk about how do their wish granting powers manifest.
When Genie grants wishes, it's a very instantaneous BOOM in your face kind of deal. He does things dramatically with comedic flair.
I think to make Star different from that, you can draw inspiration from another Disney wish granter that I'm really surprised Disney didn't do more to reference her or the movie she's from: the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio.
So the way Blue Fairy grants wishes for those who haven't seen Pinocchio in forever or haven't seen it at all: the Blue Fairy- rather than instantaneously granting your wish as Genie would- would give you the means and path towards your wish coming true, but in order for your wish to really come true, you yourself gotta have that drive, put in the effort and work towards your wish.
That's how Star's wish magic should work. While, he could still grant impossible, extraordinary wishes like make animals talk and give plants sentience, yeah. But I think it would be interesting along with being meaningful to see Star set up a path for someone's wish to come true. It could spark a small discussion between him and Asha about wishes and how one is to truly go about them. Star gets into the real truth of what his powers are like that basically comes down to:
"My powers will only go as far as the wish maker themselves are willing to go"
Which now brings us to what is Star's limit? Genie is limited by rules of the lamp and the whims of his master. Star has no such thing as he is a free being. He owes no one anything and he's bound to nothing, leaving him with no rules other than the ones he himself placed on himself. So, he's got to be possibly very powerful. And he probably could grant everyone's desires. But he won't/can't. Why?
Because it's your wish. And Star can only go as far as you yourself are willing to go. This isn't a meet half way type of thing either.
This is a "we are travelling to your destination TOGETHER. We are both gonna work on this TOGETHER. You are gonna put the work in from start to finish and I am going to help you get there no matter how long it takes or how much we'll lose along the way".
Because THIS is what classic Disney movies are about!!! THIS IS HOW WISHES WORKED IN THE CLASSIC MOVIES. YOU DIDN'T JUST WISH UPON A STAR AND YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE, YOU HAD TO GO ON JOURNEYS, PUT IN EFFORT AND MAKE SACRIFICES.
Star would be willing to go the mile to make your wish come true, but you got to be the one to lead him there.
Now for the more fun bit that'll lean in more to what Star's personality might be like. Their behavior as they do magic.
Genie is explosive in such a way that he is constantly buzzing with pent up energy that came from years of imprisonment and isolation and his magic reflects that. It is fast and wild and funny to watch.
I like to think Star's is a more relaxed, ethereal version of that. Not so ethereal, you would think of Blue Fairy when you see it though. But Star's magic gets released in a sparkly, dusty way (like pixie dust almost) as opposed to Genie's zap and puff of smoke.
Another way to differentiate Star from Genie, I think Star's gotta have lower energy than what Genie has. Genie's energy comes from years of imprisonment that bubbled and finally exploded once released. Star, I don't think would have that. Star is a star, it is very likely he could see what was happening in the world below but not really be able to interact with humans. Once he gets down to Rosas, he wants to see and touch everything. He's quietly curious with a child-like spark to him, who keeps dusting his magic with something to see what would happen.
Now for Star's shape-shifting, I think comparisons are more likely to happen with characters like Maui or Camilo because they're more recent. I think this one stands fine alone.
One lil detail I would add to Star is in regards as to how he flies. I've always been in love with how Disney went about Peter Pan flying. Sometimes when Peter lands, he does little pirouette spins which are so so so charming. And just in general, sometimes there's something oddly graceful about how Peter flies that I think would work super well for Star.
So this is my conclusion as to how to mitigate the Star & Genie comparisons by just changing bits of pieces of the surface level traits of him a little.
So Genie is as what I said above: a zany, verbally loud, fast-talking comedian type, shape-shifting wish granter who can immediately summon things with a snap and a point of his finger. He's a cosmically powerful being bound to certain rules and the whims of his master (at least in the first film) along with the restraints the lamp has on him that only allows him to grant three wishes per master.
Whereas Star would be: a verbally mute, gentle & curious type wish granter with a very relaxed, dreamy kind of magic meant to reflect his daydreamer tendencies. Star is a free cosmically powerful being with no limits to what his magic can do, with his only condition for his wish granting magic being that the wish maker themself must meet him from start to finish and put forth the effort and drive in order to make the wish come true with the help he has/will provide.
And those are my thoughts :)
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roomsofangel · 3 months
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I WISH YOU STAYED.
choi san | written by roomsofangel
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pairing ex!san x reader
genre(s) angst angst angst!
word count 871
warnings just full on angst, there’s not really any comfort. mentions of reader consuming alcohol but its only once and nothing comes out of it. mentions of arguing, alludes to a toxic relationship despite they’re being a lot of love. right person wrong time sorta thing, a lot of hurt.
synposis its raining and you find yourself thinking of the past again
or
is it possible to meet again in the dream realm? is it possible to have the same dream? san finds himself asking this question, on a rainy night, thinking of the past
a/n i know i said i was gonna post an update for my current ongoing fics soon but i wanted to write this first and post it…now, this work means more to me than anything and i technically did have help despite them not knowing i’d even write about this. this is a form of also letting go for me in a way. i used specific quotes from my favorite movie that reminds me a lot of the situation and the person this was inspired about.
rain tapped against the window, a slow and steady beat that filled the room with its somber rhythm. the air is thick with the wet, damp smell of rain, mixing with the faint scent of your shampoo from the day before and the melancholy in your heart. your bed is warm against your skin, holding you close as you stare up at the ceiling
you weren’t sure how long its been, how many hours passed but the rain only got heavier with time and it reminded you of the internal struggle of what you seemed to always feel nowadays. what were you? the rain or the rainbow? the storm or the first speck of sun that comes shining through to give people reassurance its about to be a better day?
if you were asked at this very moment, you’d tell them that you were the storm and your rainbow went to go find another raincloud to help give reassurance to
“i need a drink,” you muttered despite being the only one in the room, sliding out of bed to wander off into your kitchen where you used your refrigerator as a nightlight. you took out a glass and set it onto your counter, going back and forth between the fridge and the countertop. you poured yourself some amaretto, watching it fill up to the top of your glass and set it back into its cold home before bringing it your lips
with each sip, you felt warmer inside but the ice that manifested itself to stay in your flesh and bone didn’t thaw out. you still felt hollow like you did that night.
“we were never good for each other..” he whispered, sniffling as he watched you with matching teary eyes. you swallowed the cry that threatened to spill, chewing on your bottom lip as you nodded. “and we tried.” he added in with a bittersweet laugh to mask he was hurting too
god, why did he always have to mask his hurt? you hated how he always did that even in your dreams, but was this even a dream when it all feel so real?
you watched how his hands came up slowly, cupping your cheeks to have you meet his teary gaze and you sniffled, “i know.” you replied back, voice soft and wobbly
“there’s more to life, y/n.” he pressed his forehead against yours and you let yourself breathe, taking in what would be the last time you could feel him again, “there’s more to life than arguments and whatever it is we had.”
you sniffled, “i know.” pressing your lips together, tears running down and you could taste the saltiness of your heart breaking. “i know.” you repeated again as if the first time wasn’t enough, as if the second time wasnt either and he sighed
it seemed as if everything was demolishing around the two of you, the room you were in. the floors creaked and the walls began to show signs of decay, the cracks becoming more evident while the windows, despite not making noise to show the damage, were shattering with each second that passed and you found yourself muttering, “what if you stayed this time?”
“we both know i can’t stay…” san whispered, voice filled with the same hurt you remember him having that night and you found yourself breaking more, “i walked out the door.”
you prayed to whoever was out there, whomever was making you have this lucid dream to let you keep this, let you have this one last time for a little longer but it seemed it fell on deaf ears from when you blinked and then found yourself at the same door you will always have burned into your memory.
you watched how san had his hands in his pockets, nose rosy as he sniffled and walked more out the door just how he did back then,
except,
the only difference was you running to the doorway, “san!” you called out, hands on the frame while your voice cracked at how you tried not to cry and he turned to face you with an expression that was filled with both surprise and heartache, “come back and make up a goodbye at least.” you managed to get out after the silent gaze made you fall apart all over again, “lets pretend we had one.”
and you could see his expression falter, how his adam’s apple bobbed up and down while he gulped and wiped his eyes when he walked towards you.
the same rain falls heavy against another window and slides down, leaving thin rivulets down the glass. a relentless makeshift waterfall that served as a constant reminder of the grief that dwells within san’s mind. he sits on the edge of his bed, sniffling and trying not to remember what he dreamt of but it burned through his skull and itched his frontal lobe
he swears he still had your words from that dream in his head, how you looked at him and called out from the door i wish you stayed.
he choked back in his sobs, letting himself stare at his hands while he wept, knowing you couldn’t hear how he whispered into the air, “i wish i stayed too.”
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venusvxen · 1 year
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Trusting In Your Inner Change
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One thing that rlly used to fuck me up when I would attempt to shift states is seeing the “opposite” even after I changed my internal dialogue.
I would be so upset because I mean it when I say I rlly would not ruminate on a circumstance. It would be times when i would really forget about 100% and not think about it. I would not be in my head thinking about how i’m gonna manifest it away or anything like that yet it would still be there in my 3D and sometimes worse…
Then to make matters worse I would go on twitter and see threads about “if you’re still seeing the opposite it’s because you’re identifying with it somehow” and be so confused and feel like shit because yeah there’s truth to that but also.. bro… i’m so serious when I say that I really would not be thinking or dwelling on these circumstances at all… like at all… it would just make me feel like shit.
I would pick my mind apart trying to find what went wrong and why that shit is still there and would feel discouraged because it’s like “okay…. i don’t think about it like that during the day at all.. so even if i do do all this what’s to say that it’ll go away completely”…
Then after a while I just decided to start being stubborn about my inner change. Meaning that even if it looks like nothing is working and everything is spiraling out of control and problems are only getting worse, I still remain faithful to my new assumptions and don’t spiral everytime I see something “bad” and assume that that means i’m not doing it right.
Seeing the opposite would rlly trip me up and make me believe all my progress is for naught because i’m doing something wrong and I must not be on the right path if the opposite is STILL persisting in my 3D… like right now as I write this post actually…
But… I decided to tell myself that as soon as I shift states the 3D instantly conforms. It may not be in the way i expect, but judging after appearances is controlling the How.
Sure things may look bad,, and sure I may get really anxious looking at some things and feel like they’re never gonna change.. but telling myself that everything is going according to plan makes me feel way better and less anxious and helps me stay on the right path as opposed to the constant starting over when I would feel like im doing something wrong when i would see “the opposite”.
Maybe this “bad” thing is simply apart of the bridge of incidents to take me to my desire which I assume is the case anyway since the world has to match my assumption of self.
I know my assumption of self inside is lovely as illustrated by the euphoric feeling i feel everytime i re enter the state and fulfill myself ((for fun)) so i choose to let that be my validation and basis of progress as opposed to what the 3d shows me.
I know better than anyone how frustrating it feels to really be doing the work but the 3D shows you the opposite and i know better than anyone how isolating and infuriating it is when everyone just assumes it’s because you’re still ruminating on the old story inside and haven’t shifted states when sometimes you really have forgot about it all along and don’t think about it as much.
Be stubborn about your change. Put your foot down. say NO, I HAVE CHANGED. If your name is X but someone calls you Z, you’re not gonna ransack your brain and wonder why they’re calling you that and gaslight yourself into believing that they’re calling you that because you identified with that name somewhere along the lines.
Maybe, instead of the circumstance showing up because you identified with it, it’s popping up because it’s a part of the bridge of incidents.
Trust in that as opposed to undermining all your growth and inner work. Don’t let your very real inner change be undermined and questioned just because of what the 3D says. Trust in self not the mirror. Don’t let the mirror tell you you’re something you say you’re not.
You know who you are inside. Trust everything is working out exactly as it should even if it’s painful at times. Trust everyone is playing their roles exactly as they should.
In any case that’s all I have to share today. I shared this because I just saw something rlly annoying in the 3D. Hope this helps 🫡
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psychelis-new · 2 years
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pick a pile: "Next positive change in your life"
take a breath and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read about what may be a positive change (or maybe more than one) coming into your life. Seen that many of the recent pacs hinted at new starts and similar things, let's try to see if we can get a little more out of that news.
don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you.
(photos found on unsplash)
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1 - 2 - 3
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pile 1
You may be kinda used to spiralling down but you're going to spiral up soon. It's gonna differ for y'all, but things, or at least one thing, will change in the near future (could be even by the end of this year).
I feel you may receive a news about something new, or about something you have just started. It couls also be a positive feedback or an encouraging post you didn't expect to receive/see, and it'll help you change your perspective on many different thoughts and situations.
Some of you may have been trying to manifest this change for a while. It can be related to love life for many (probably a soulmate either romantic or platonic), but also school/career. Seeing no results may have made you doubt about yourself and everything around this matter, but let go of all this self doubting and stress. You're gonna start seeing things from a better point of view, and feel relieved soon. Love yourself and others around, be compassionate even with your thoughts. Your wishes are going to be granted. Be determined and keep going through your healing path. A cycle is ending, and for as much some things (triggers) may reappear in your life, you'll be ready to stand up and engage with them from a new and stronger point of view.
I can't see anything in particular, but I'm really excited for you, there's a lot of hype in this energy, like it's constantly moving around in anticipation. Be faithful. Whatever you're trying to bring into your life, especially if that comes from a place of self love and compassion, is gonna reach for you. Things are changing, you are changing. And it's for good. Allow this to happen, let your Guides help you out.
songs: die for you | the weeknd; like this | kelly rowland ft. eve
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pile 2
The positive change is reallythat you're gonna feel more positive about yourself and your life. You may have been working on your throat chakra for a while (or will soon): being more open about your wishes and goals is going to help you visualize them and get to them with less effort. Also, if you feel an imbalance between what you think and what you feel, you are gonna change that soon. Be more aligned, and connected with your core self. You're gonna love yourself for real, for who you really are and be open about it. It feels so free, and so good. i'm so happy for you!
You are finally going to feel in control of your life and your decisions, and really enjoy what you have and be open to what the Universe is going to bring you. I see someone smiling under the light of the sun, feeling its warm rays inside of themselves, healing them. That's probably something you're called to do as well.
Just take the lead of your life, that's what you're here for. You're gonna be very abundant and happy. Transformations require time, so as manifestations, but you have plenty. Let Universe do its magic, let it flow inside of you. Be one with them.
You're gonna be more mindful about the people you'll let in in your life, this too will help you gain more abundance and respect by others. You gave a lot, now it's time for you to receive and allow yourself to receive (cause you deserve).
For whatever may come your way, remember you have a choice: you can dwell in self doubt and pain (and even people pleasing to the point of losing yourself) or you can stay strong and trust yourself and that you can afford it. Whatever it is that you've been through, I think you're gonna choose the second option soon.
("Nobody else's words can define you", from the song "You got it in you" by Banners. I love this song so much. Anyway, bonus song for you pile 2)
songs: love me harder | ariana grande; you are enough | sleeping at last
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pile 3
I think you're gonna be more gentle with yourself. You'll take more care of you by eating and doing more exercises (maybe pick up running or start weekly routines of body care). Feels pretty good here. It's all so warm and tender. You literally deserve this care from yourself. "My body my temple" mood.
You may have tried to avoid changing, fearing it was going to be negative. Maybe past experiences haven't been so good and left a trace on your unconscious self and ego. But in fact, these only made you stronger and helped you be more compassionate with yourself too. You recognize your battles, all the difficult choices you had to make (and that you will still have to make in the future -one may come pretty soon, but nothing to worry about tbh), and now you're rewarding yourself with the attentions and the love you may have been missing or forgetting to give yourself before. You're gonna be more confident about your worth and abilities, and won't worry about what is coming cause you know you can afford anything. You've literally been through a lot, nothing can really scare you now. And you're going to welcome change now with a more open heart, looking at it as a chance to grow and make things better. You're looking at things in a brighter way, enjoying them more. And this will probably help you reach (and be reached by) more people too. For someone, also romantic love (and for some, could be an ex -or something like that, or a news related to your past/a trigger- trying to come back in your life too. I cannot give you an answer that can fit everyone's situation but remember your worth when dealing with them, and don't let them manipulate you into anything. Past is past, you're in the present. People change but often not the way we'd like).
Remember to be hopeful and to keep a quiet balanced mind. Always trust your heart and follow it. It knows better than your fears.
(As in pile 2, the song "You got it in you" by Banners could be for some of you too)
songs: the one | limp bizkit; youngblood | 5sos
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cooki3face · 9 months
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spirit baby reading🍼
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I’ve felt called to do this reading this whole week and I felt called to do it again this morning so i figured id oughta do the reading since I’ve been pulled to do it more than once. I hope you find something special to keep with you in this reading! 🫧
Pile one:
🍼~ significant colors: green, blue, orange, red, yellow.
🍼~ the chakras that are represented by those colors may be significant as well.
Green: the heart chakra “I love”
Blue: the third eye chakra “I see”
Orange: the sacral chakra “I feel”
Red: the root chakra “I am”
Yellow: the solar plexus chakra “I do”
🍼~ angel numbers: 222, 444, 666 7891, 6466
🍼~ locations: Maine, Rhode Island, North Carolina, Washington, laguna Beach, Mississippi, Connecticut, Virginia, Louisiana,,
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Pile one is manifesting something. Manifesting a new life, manifesting pregnancy, long term commitments, relationships, happiness, success, abundance and so much more here. Very high vibrational energy coming through and I see all this coming through for you this is just being channeled alone from the heart space not even with the help of my cards yet. You could be needing to practice affirmations or write down affirmations using the proper openings aligned with the chakras. You could be building new routines in your life or in the process of trying to create a new reality. Lions gate portal is significant for this group. That’s to be august 8, 2023. Save the date. Someone’s getting married as well, “save the date.” Is often what we write on wedding invitations. There are many manifestations and desires coming through for you within the month of august pile one. By the end of the year your life will be completely different!! There are five months left in the year and the number five represents human perfection as well as prosperity and Justice as well as knowledge as well. You could be getting some news soon or something you’ve been hoping for or something you very well deserve is coming in for you. All those times you got your hopes up because you got messages that your wish fulfillments were coming in and they didn’t, this is not that time, this is not a drill. Wish fulfillments are their way to you and you don’t have to do shit. I’m hearing sit still. I haven’t even started reading the cards yet!!! Spirit has so much to say to you and so much they want to tell you. Top of the deck ace of cups, bottom of the deck nine of cups. Ace of cups talks about love, an outpour of it, many of you are about to receive the most beautiful, long term, and honest love. I see contentment and happiness with the nine of cups upright. I split the deck in the center, spirit has surprises for you, they don’t want you to know. Start working on those manifestations. The remainder of this week up into august 8 spirit wants you to write all of it down and start becoming familiarized with the new life you’re about to receive. Okay, okay, im gonna start with the cards!!
First card out here is the king of cups. A lot of you are feminine energies here the baby says the father is coming in and he’s being represented by the king of cups. Emotionally balanced, compassionate, honorable, diplomatic. He’s a real man, he’s a good man savannah!! He’s gonna support you, he’s gonna care for you and he’s gonna keep you safe. Some of you know this person already, this person is very protective of you. I’m hearing, “daddy is gonna keep us safe.” Some of you have daddy issues or father wounds that you’d been working through and healing these past years or months and I see this person really coming through for you and being the father you wished you had or the father that you’d want for your children or the father figure or divine masculine energy who is lead you in life or add to your life and improve your life and bring you peace, happiness and solace. I’m hearing “what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.” Everyone is looking at him, he leads by example, this is big daddy right here.
Yea, some of you know this man already, this could’ve been someone you had a past relationship with or have history with in one way or another whether y’all were friends or lovers or y’all had a relationship that just didn’t quite get off of the ground for certain reasons but I hear spirit telling me that all you guys went through or the events that took place leading up to this moment was divine protection and divine timing and intervention all at play!! Girl, I’m screaming! All I wanna type is exclamation marks!!! ‼️‼️‼️ this king of cups dealt with a lot within his life, a lot of loss, a lot of betrayal, a lot of heart break but I’m hearing you loved him through it, you were gentle with him, you were supported, your heart beat for him while his heart wasn’t pumping. He’s healing. He’s healed. He’s ready.
Daddy is working hard here with this knight of pentacles in reverse, he could be business savvy or really good with money and financially intelligent but there’s something here about him working hard for you, to provide you with something, to bring you a gift. You could’ve been receiving messages about him coming in and he’s taking his time here but he’s working. I’m hearing he’s a hard man to get in touch with but when he comes in he’s going to make time for you in many ways, answering the phone while he’s at work, you want him to come home early, he doesn’t care, he’s coming home early. He could run his own business or something he’s a boss. The baby is so excited the baby is ready to come in too. Some of you could be manifesting pregnancy or manifesting a family and I see the father ready to give you that and the spirit baby is excited. He’s a little boy. He’s gonna enjoy both outdoor activities and nature but also enjoy quiet indoor activities as well. You know those babies people talk about that eat well, sleep through the night and never cry unless they need something, that’s the energy I’m getting from this child and I see him being very smart and articulate I see you and the father going out of your way to see it through he get a good education and is very well taken care of and happy.
You and this divine masculine could not come from much here or may find that you guys have and had a lot of generational curses to break within your family and I see those generational curses being broken and ending with the two of you. Some of you have a pet, he or she is young and will be spending the next 20-30 years with you and will be very good with the baby and with the children and is going to love your husband or your partner. This divine masculine or your person is really passionate about you. He’s coming towards you, he loves you.
I hear he’s finally learning his worth and you know yours. He could’ve spent a lot of time in the past with shitty people, around karmic energies and doing bad stuff or having bad habits as a way to cope or because he had unhealed wounds. He could’ve had an unhealed mother wound which affected his selection in women as well. But he knows better now, he loves himself better now and he’s not even worried about all of those other women or the type of woman he was surrounded by. For some of you there could be a third party interference or someone around him who sees him growing and wants to keep him but he’s not on any of that, he doesn’t fuck with that girl, he’s married. (To you) in spirit and soon to be in the 3D. He’s been working hard I see over investment in work and hustling.
Ace of swords upright, he could’ve finally had a breakthrough or he finally found mental clarity and this is bringing up so much success for him, I see him wanting to tell you, running to tell you what he’s found out or about how he feels and where he is in life. He’s excited and you’re the person he shares excitement and happiness with. I keep hearing “my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife”, this divine masculine could’ve had an issue here he could’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, addiction. All these entrapments of the mind that kept him down, energetically drained and unable to come through for you or show up for you but his mind is clear, he’s finally stepped into his power, he’s finally in his divine masculine energy. So happy for him.
I hear the baby, the baby says that his dad is manifesting you, if you feel him, if you’re communicating with him telepathically or you’re dreaming of him this is because his mind is open, his third eye is open, he’s in the right energy to fully connect with you and his conscious mind has been awakened to this as well. He could be on a spiritual journey or diving deeper into spirituality or learning more about himself and his souls purpose. This divine masculine could be destined for something, he’s protected by god, by your spirit guides and his own, his ancestors, your ancestors, I see everyone backing him and supporting him. He could be a prophet or have some type of divinely given gift here. You could have spiritual gifts of your own as well. I see you guys leading by example or showing people what divine love and what true power is. He’s the man. You know when guys are like “I’m him.” They’re not, this divine masculine is.
I’m hearing the child, it’s as if he’s saying “my daddy is coming and he’s going to set the world ablaze.” This child is very proud of his parents, very excited to be given to you, raised by you, taught by you. He could see you two as mentors, especially you. I hear the child saying that he’d been studying you, watching you all this time and he’s proud to be apart of your life and bring you happiness and joy. This could end up being a very talented child and a very well loved child as well. Bringing you more prosperity. There gonna grow up to do something and/or do something in their youth that will bring people happiness and joy.
I hear you bring your person or this divine masculine more power. I hear him saying “I’m connected with my intuition, I see all, but I am more powering with you.” He could be really withdrawn, he could not be talking to anyone right now and neither are you. I’m hearing you do your work or you use social media to do what you need to do and you get off. People are wondering where you are, they’re wondering where he is. He feels incomplete without you by his side you’re the missing piece within his life and all his prosperity and abundance. His souls purpose is to love you, all of his hard work, all of his abundance and love is to be shared with and given to you. It is not made for anyone else.
I hear he’s sitting on a lot of money here or he’s about to create something or develop something some time soon that may bring you two lots of money and abundance. Spirit is saying to dream big, stop thinking you won’t be able to afford the house or the wedding or whatever else you want or need because you will, this man has you. Stop thinking you can’t afford something or what if we can’t afford this or when you’re looking at inspo or looking at your mood boards and the type of stuff you want stop trying to be cautious and play it small just in case like you won’t be able to afford something cause that’s not a possibility for the two of you.
He’s taking his time cause he’s making his money, he’s reorganizing his life and getting himself right but he’s on his way. I keep hearing, “if you want me come get me/come see me” and he knows how you move so he’s coming. He comes baring gifts, good news, and an offer of long term commitment. And if you don’t like the ring he picked out, he’ll buy you a new one. I’m hearing or he’ll melt it down and make you a new one 💀 he’s an alchemist. He takes small things and makes them big. You could’ve been telling him he’s to be great for many years. You saw his power, you could’ve foresaw his future and success. Well he’s become who you knew he could be all along and he’s ab to come bless you.
Have the best day/night. Or whatever. Thanks for listening and getting a reading from me.
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pile two
pile three
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9leaguesofmirrors · 24 days
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Joseph Gain(e)s Approval (a Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe fanfic)
In which Lisgoe meets Ross' family and, as usual, things don't go that well (AKA, Lisgoe is a menace but it's justified)
CONTENT WARNING: Classism and mentions of death
As Lisgoe sat in the driver’s seat, eyes staring off aimlessly out of the window in front of him while they were parked away from the house, he only had one thought going through his mind
Ross is lucky he doesn’t have to go through this shite, my dad’s dead and my mum lives in fucking Sheffield
He shifted uncomfortably in the suit Ross had picked out for him. White, for some reason
“It was going to happen eventually, Joseph, you can’t be in a relationship and never meet their parents.”
“I was hoping to prove you wrong.”
Ross sighed, whipping off his glasses to massage the bridge of his nose before sliding them back on again
“Just try to be civil. I don’t particularly speak to my mother, and I certainly don’t think much of my dad, but they’re family. They deserve to at least meet my partner.”
Lisgoe felt Ross touch his face and kiss him gently. Anything he wanted to say, for a moment, withered in the sensation of Ross’ lips on his. Instinctively, his hands cupped his neck as he leaned into it, allowing it to deepen slightly as they both sunk into it
“Just one dinner,” Ross murmured “then we don’t have to go through it again.” He rested his hand on Lisgoe’s upper thigh, rubbing it gently “Then you can do whatever you want, OK?”
That caused Lisgoe to close his eyes, sighing shakily at the contact. If that was the promise, one dinner couldn’t hurt
“Fine,” he looked back at Ross “but you’re bat-shit if you think I’m talking about the fucking weather all day.”
Appearing somewhat satisfied with that response, Ross got out of the car. And, with some hesitation, Lisgoe did the same
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It wasn’t a surprise that Ross’ parents lived in a fancy house, the first Lisgoe thought when he met his partner was this guy definitely owned a pantry growing up. He loosened his tie slightly as Ross rang the doorbell
When it opened, he were met with a woman in a neat, navy pinafore dress and thin, brown hair
“Ross, hello!” She sounded polite enough, though she spoke to Ross more like a close acquaintance than her son. She turned to Lisgoe and held out her hand “You must be Joseph.”
He took her hand and shook it
“You alright?”
That seemed to catch her slightly off-guard, but she remained civil as she let go of Lisgoe’s hand
“Yes, thank you.”
“What’s your name then? Calling you ‘Mrs. Gaines’ all evening is just gonna make me sound like a twat.”
Again, she seemed surprised, probably by the casual swearing, but she answered
“Please, call me Angina.”
Now it was Lisgoe’s turn to be caught off-guard, and couldn’t help but blurt out:
“There’s no way that’s your real name!”
“Excuse me?”
Angina looked confused
Ross looked like he was about step on Lisgoe’s foot
“I meant... it’s so unique! I’ve never heard it before. It’s... really lovely.”
That seemed to work, and she smiled
“It’s American originally, I believe.”
“Nothing beats an American Angina.”
That time, Ross did step on Lisgoe’s foot
“Where’s dad?”
“Your father’s at the table already, food will be done soon.”
Ross pursed his lips and nodded, a visual manifestation of him pushing down his nerves. Instinctively, Lisgoe rested a hand on the small of his back until he felt his partner relax under his palm
*********************************************
Lisgoe had heard the odd anecdote about Mr. Gaines, and he already wasn’t keen on him
So the first thought that went through his head when he saw that pudgy man sat in his chair, eyeing up the silver chain around his neck with distain, was look at this bald bastard
While Ross sat beside him, Lisgoe sat down opposite, reclining in his chair
“Mr. Gaines, yeah?”
“Silas. Silas Gaines.”
Somehow a worse name than Angina. And that’s a fucking chest infection!
“Right, Silas. Name’s Joseph.”
“I’m aware.” Silas looked at Lisgoe’s posture “Very aware.”
Alright, you miserable cunt, be like that
Before he could make a snappy remark, Angina had brought out a pot of food and was plating it up. Silas didn’t move his glare away from Lisgoe
Look, Baldy, if you wanna kiss me just say that
“Food looks great,” he decided to say “mind you, I can’t cook for shite.”
He revelled in the way Silas’ eye twitched at his language
“Don’t you worry, Silas, I’m not trying to have it on with your missus. Though I do like Anginas, don’t I Ross?”
Ross looked one breath away from stabbing Lisgoe with his knife
“So, Joseph,” Angina spoke as she finished plating everything up “what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a debt collector. I’m mainly behind the desk, but I sometimes go out if a customer’s being really difficult.”
He saw the way Silas seemed to look at him with impressed surprise. As if he didn’t expect a man like Lisgoe to have a decent job
“Debt collection!” Angina said “Apparently that pays well.”
“Very well.” Silas nodded “Better than those dead-end jobs they give council-dwellers.”
That made Lisgoe’s fist clench around his utensils as he stared at his plate, eyes blazing and teeth gritting together. He refused to acknowledge Silas at all, as doing so would result in him launching across the table and slamming his face into it
“If we had more people going into decent jobs, instead of taking the easy route, there’d be no need for those ghastly-looking job centres. Which, ironically, would put our Ross out of a job!”
He laughed like it was funny
Lisgoe felt a hand on his knee, and met the eyes of his partner. No words, yet a whole conversation was spoken
He’s such a dick
I know, Joseph
He doesn’t know shite
Be civil
“So, Joseph, what did you study at University?”
Despite his bubbling anger, Lisgoe managed to look at Silas with a neutral expression
“Finance.”
“There’s no need for the attitude.”
“I’m not showing you attitude.”
“Yes, you are.”
“If I wanted to show you attitude, I’d have told you to fuck off by now.”
“Joseph-“
“You little-“
“Sorry. It’s the ‘council-dweller’ blood in my veins.”
Silence
Silas looked disgusted
Angina looked like she was trying to figure out what to say
Ross looked deeply uncomfortable
For a while, they ate without speaking
“... So, Silas,” Lisgoe said, throwing him for a loop by being as civil as possible “what do you do then?”
“I’m an accountant for a-“
“That right? Heard a lot of things about accountants. Everything except what they actually do.” He looked around the room “But you must make good money, by the looks of this place.”
That didn’t get an answer, instead Silas just carried on eating his food. Presumably because responding to Lisgoe would either result in a screaming match or a recreation of WWE
“I think we’ve talked enough about money,” Angina said in a soft yet assertive tone “those sorts of things always end in arguments. Are you from Vasey originally?”
“Nah, grew up in a council flat in Sheffield. Guy from Arctic Monkeys is from there.”
“You’re a fan of music then?”
“Fuck yeah! Rock, metal, punk, bit of new wave.”
“New wave? Like The Cure?”
“Absolutely like The Cure!” He turned to Ross “I quite like Angina.”
“Joseph-“
“What? I do!”
Ross just rolled his eyes and continued to eat. Then, when silence bubbled again, he said:
“Joseph plays drums.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, never joined a band though, fuck that. I just play for fun sometimes,” he turned to Silas “helps improve my stamina. That comes in handy.”
That got a glare, Lisgoe pretended not to see it
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Angina said “do you have anymore of those?” She pointed to his neck, where the black bird sat
“Got loads actually: chest, arms, snake up the back. Got one on my inner forearm.” He undid his cufflink and rolled his sleeve up
“A number nine?”
“Actually,” Lisgoe said with a slight smile “it’s an upside-down six.” He rolled his sleeve back down “Inside joke between me and my cousin. He died a few years back.”
“Oh dear. Was it quite... sudden?”
“Screwdriver to the spine sounds pretty sudden to me.”
“I’m sorry that happened.”
“Well,” Silas muttered, half to himself “it’s to be expected.”
The air slowly began to thicken to the point it was suffocating
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m being entirely sympathetic to you, Joseph.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes. I understand how dangerous it can be in areas as impoverished as a council estate. Your cousin was simply caught in the cross-fire of-“
“My cousin grew up in Portsmouth. And he wasn’t killed in a gangfight, he died at work. And let me tell you something, his job was probably more useful than whatever the fuck an accountant does.”
Lisgoe had shot up from his seat and was looking around at the people sat
“I’m going.”
“Joseph, please sit down-“
“You can stay if you want, Ross, but I’m fucking leaving.”
Wordlessly, Angina stood up and went over to him
“It was lovely to meet you, Joseph.”
“You’re alright, Angie, good cook. Hopefully you can teach me someday.”
As she took their plates into the kitchen, she muttered something to her husband. He then stood up and went over to Lisgoe, standing in front of him and reluctantly held out his hand
Lisgoe didn’t take it. He just looked at him
“Where did you say you worked?”
“Kelter & Co. No doubt you’ve heard of it.”
“Yeah,” Lisgoe spoke politely “yeah I’ve heard of it.”
He finally shook Silas’ hand and, not letting go, spoke again
“I’m gonna go there tonight. Drive into the parking bay, find your spot. And I’m gonna take your son to the backseat of my car. That’s right. I’m gonna put my filthy little ‘council-dweller’ hands all over your nice, middle-class son. Gonna put my working-class mouth on his clean skin and shove my destitute dick up his arse.” He stopped shaking his hand and folded his arms “And he’ll fucking love it. Like he always does.”
That was when he stormed out of the house, Ross following. He was still in view of the house when Ross grabbed his wrist and glared at him
“What the hell was that?”
“I’m not gonna sit there and let some privileged wanker treat me like a fucking second-class citizen.” He took a step towards him “And besides, if you weren’t gonna defend me, I needed to do it myself.”
“It’s not that easy to stand up to a man like my dad-“
“He brought Viktor into it! He slated my upbringing, then he brought my dead fucking cousin into it! And you sat there. And you. said. nothing.”
“You don’t need me to defend you, you’re perfectly capable of doing that yourself.”
“Don’t need a lot of things. I don’t need to have a smoke every now and then. I don’t need to have music blaring in my ears when I’m working, but y’know what? It’s just nice to know it’s actually fucking there.”
Ross sighed, shaking his head
“You’ll never understand what it’s like to have a father mentally break you to the point where you don’t even see the point in standing up for yourself.”
There’s a pause in the conversation, and Lisgoe looked as though he understood, but was struck by the sheer madness of it
“The amount of shite my dad put me through... all of the insults, the shouting, all of that, and you say I’ll never fucking understand? No. I do. But my dad could beat seven shades of shite out of me, but as soon as he started on you, I wouldn’t hesitate in telling him to fuck right off.”
“You had siblings, Joseph. You had friends, you had people around. I had nothing. Nothing in my life had permanence other than my mum and that man in there. I had no escape until I left for University.”
As Lisgoe turned away, Ross grabbed his upper arms
“I wanted to say something. I really did. But as soon as anything formed in my head, my throat clenched. Because every opportunity I got to say anything, I was shut down. Belittled. I’m not like you. I don’t have the lack of shame to go all in on-“
“Don’t you fucking start with that!”
Neither of them quite expected the sudden shift of volume, and they instinctively looked towards the house. That when they say Silas, staring smugly through the upstairs window
“He’s fucking loving this.” Lisgoe’s jaw tightened “Dirty little bastard-“
“Jesus christ, will you shut up?”
Lisgoe almost retaliated, but he was stopped by the feeling of his back being slammed into the large tree in front of the house and the firm press of Ross’ lips on his
“You think this is gonna make it up to-“
“It’s not about you, is it?” Ross sneered, his hands cupping Lisgoe’s face “It’s not all about you.”
He saw Ross’ eyes dart to the window and he looked too, noticing Silas’ shocked expression. Then it clicked
“You’re using me for revenge.”
“Yes.”
“That’s... really fucking hot, actually.” Lisgoe said it like it was an actual inconvenience to his evening “I’m pissed at you. You can’t be hot when I’m pissed at you.”
“Oh, and I’m meant to stay angry at you when you’re wearing a white suit?”
“This was your idea!”
“Didn’t expect you to annoy me though, did I? That’s your fault.”
“Yeah yeah.” Lisgoe grabbed Ross’ waist “You gonna exact your revenge or not?”
“I will. Just. Realised I don’t know how.”
By now, the irritation had liquidize into something warm and gooey. Like syrup. And Lisgoe knew exactly how to use it
“It’s because you’re so polite.” He goaded, nose inches from Ross’ “Pretty, perfect Ross Gaines, with a fancy house and a fancy pantry, with fancy parents and a fancy private educatio-“
That did the trick. Every particle of Ross’ frustration manifested in his mouth and hands, and each inch was being pressed, squeezed and wrenched into Lisgoe
“You’re gonna ruin this suit, Ross. And I know it was expensive because I was there when you-“
“Is he still watching?”
With a slight chuckle, Lisgoe’s eyes flicked to the upstairs window
“He looks fucking disgusted. Like a car accident to him, he hates it but he can’t look away.”
“I wouldn’t want to look away from you either.”
“Yeah, well I can see your mum coming up to the window.”
Ross hastily let go of Lisgoe, as if he was burned by his touch. That was when the sheer ridiculousness of the situation caught up to them and they started laughing
“Joseph,” called Angina, leaving the house and going up to them both” can we speak before you go?”
“What about Ross?”
“He can wait in the car.”
“Can I now?”
“Yes. You can.”
Ross glared, tutting as he walked off. Once he was gone, Angina turned to Lisgoe
“First of all, I want to apologise on behalf of Silas-“
“Don’t bother. Hate when people do things on other people’s behalves. If Silas wants to say sorry, he can come out and find me. That’s on him.”
“If I don’t do it, he never will.”
“Then he doesn’t say sorry, not my problem.”
“Right.”
The chill air seemed to make things even more uncomfortable, or maybe it was just cold?
“Is that... all?”
“No. No, it isn’t. Forgive me for sounding presumptuous, but you don’t seem like the type to be comfortable in a situation like this.”
“I wasn’t. And I’m not.”
“Then... why do it?”
Lisgoe leaned against the tree with a sigh, figuring out how to get his words out without sounding drippy
“I’m not a traditionalist, but Ross is. Kinda. Figured I could at least suffer through for him. Try and make at least one of his parents like me, not sure how well that worked out.”
Angina’s eyebrows quirked upwards, taking in what Lisgoe had just said
Looks like it really does run in the family
“Ross does that too, does he?”
How the fuck did she-
“I saw that little smirk at the back of your throat,” she didn’t look offended. In fact, she wore a similar smile herself “you don’t become a body language analyst without picking up a few tricks.”
“He’s your son.” Realising how weird that sounded, Lisgoe tried again “I mean, he takes after you a lot. More than daddy, that’s for sure.”
“Silas is too harsh on that boy, always has been. I don’t think Ross knows how to be cared for, how to receive it.” She kept looking at him, as if this was all planned out. There was no interjections of second thoughts, she knew what she was saying “But I knew you were right for my son the moment you walked in.”
That caused Lisgoe to furrow his brows and blink a few times quickly. But he said nothing
“I could tell Ross was tense the moment he stepped into our house, he always gets like that when Silas is near. But I remember standing in the doorway and seeing you put your hand on Ross’ back.”
“Might’ve done, probably did.”
“Yes, well, I could see the way he reacted to it. His whole body seemed to melt slightly, it looked he was returning to his neutral state. You seem to have a calming effect on him-“
Lisgoe barked out a laugh
“Me? Calming?! Fuck nah, I make his blood boil, it’s who I am. Constant nuisance.”
“I only know what I saw, and what I saw was a man that could defend himself. And, if the moment in the doorway is anything to go by, can do the same for my son.”
Lisgoe didn’t quite know what to say, he’d never been spoken of quite this highly before, especially not about being good enough for something. But now, he was being told that he was doing enough for someone he, against all odds, truly cared about
He only hoped Ross though similarly
“You ought to go.” Angina said “Ross is probably wondering what’s keeping you.”
Lisgoe nodded, unsure exactly how to close such an unusual situation – well, unusual in the sense that he was leaving it without a shouting match or physical injuries
“I’ll see you when I see you, I guess.”
Angina gave a slow nod back, she knew what he meant
*********************************************
“I’m sorry. About earlier. For not standing up for-“
“Forget it, I’m not pissed at you. I get it. Dads can be assholes."
They drove in comfortable silence until they reached the roundabout
“Second exit.”
“What?”
“Second exit.”
“Ross, that’s not the right way.”
“Joseph-“
“Our house is the opposit-“
“We’re not going home.”
Lisgoe ran his tongue along his teeth
“You gonna kill me then?”
“No.”
He looked slightly disappointed
“Then where are you-“
“Row 9, column D. Can’t miss it.”
“Miss what.”
This time, it was Ross that had the smirk on his face
“My dad’s parking spot.”
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101flavoursofweird · 1 year
Text
Emerald Trio Week: Day 2 - Inspiration
Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Watching and Dreaming regarding Hunter’s new…talent.
Set: After Watching and Dreaming. Hunter is attending Hexside with the others.
Warnings: A reference to the Titanic movie is made… Gus doubts his artistic skills… Contains more Huntlow and Gustholomule— glad I can tag them now!
Note: Again, thanks to @loosescrewslefty for the prompts.
Resting on his stomach above his bedroom rug, Gus squinted at the sketchpad in front him. He gnawed on the end of his pencil like a hungry echo mouse.
Legend had it that human pencils used to contain lead , which was poisonous for humans—
Stop getting distracted!
Gus shook his head and returned to the issue at hand: Matt’s birthday— tomorrow.
Gus could have (should have) gone out and purchased Matt a gift, but, never one to pass up a challenge, Gus had decided to create something instead.
Illusions were too easy. Matt had received plenty of illusions from Gus, and by this point, Matt was proficient at casting his own illusions.
Matt would be expecting something better from Gus. Something Gus had worked hard on. A challenge!
So, Gus had decided to take a page of out of Matt’s book. Gus was going to draw him a picture…
It sounded childish when Gus put it like that. No— he was going to produce a portrait. Paint the canvas. Compose an artistic masterpiece!
…As soon as he could figure out what to draw.
Think, Augustus, think…
No thoughts manifested. His brain was completely empty.
“Uuuuuugh!” Gus groaned and dropped his pencil. “Guys, what should I draw for Matt?”
So engrossed was he in his art that he’d almost forgotten Willow and Hunter were there with him.
They had come over an hour ago to start work on a project for History class, which only Hunter was still invested in now.
“Not sure…” Hunter replied without looking up from his books on Gus’s desk.
Willow made an ‘ I dunno’ noise from Gus’s bed, where she was watching a professional flyer derby match on her scroll.
“Thanks, you two!” Gus said flatly. “Such helpful, reliable friends I have—“ Willow tossed a pillow in his direction.
Gus gasped and moved his sketchpad aside. “Willow! You’re gonna wreck my canvas!” He chucked the pillow right back at her.
“Ha!” Willow caught the pillow. She placed the pillow at the end of his bed and planted her elbows on it.
“You can draw me!” she suggested with a smirk. She held her chin in her hand. “Draw me like one of your French girls!”
That made Hunter’s head turn. Willow pursed her lips at him.
“Ew! No!” Gus protested, poking his tongue out. (Why had he insisted on watching Titanic with them in the Human Realm? He’d thought it was a documentary…! ) “You two can just leave if you’re going to be all lovey-dovey!”
“Very well…” Willow sniffed loudly. She rolled to the left side of the bed and slowly slipped off. “But I promise I will… never… let go—“
Hunter snorted. When Willow’s hand sank weakly out of view, Gus wheezed with laughter too. Hunter joined him, clutching his sides as he rocked back in Gus’s chair. Willow popped up from behind the bed, chortling.
“This really… isn’t funny!” Gus gasped, after a minute. “The Titanic sinking was a real disaster in human history—“
“Kind of like our History project?” Hunter hummed.
“—and so is this!” Gus thrust a hand at his blank sketchbook. “How am I going to impress Matt? How?!”
“Why don’t you draw a beach?” Willow supplied, actually being helpful this time.
“Not a beach in the Boiling Isles… ” Hunter mumbled. Gus glanced at him. Hunter glanced away, rubbing his lip.
Willow said, “Maybe a beach from the Human Realm would be better?”
“Yeah…” Gus agreed. “ Yeah—  that could work!”
One sunny day during their stay in the Human Realm, Camila had driven them all to a beach, where the sand was soft and the sea didn’t boil. They could actually swim in the water, without fear of burning…
Witches still had to wear sunblock. (Amity, especially…) But it was definitely worth it for that beautiful sunset.
Gus pictured it in his mind— the sand, the sea, the sunset— and he projected it as an illusion the size of a crystal ball.
“It was great,” Hunter said, smiling at the memory.
“Who needs photos,” Willow quipped, “when we’ve got Gus’ power?”
Gus grinned, grabbed his pencil and his sketchpad, and started to draw the scene. It was much easier when he had the memory in front of him.
The beach had been bustling and bright with colour: The sapphire waves, the golden sand, the pink and purple sky…
Gus had the outlines of the beach, but it was bland and grey with pencil.
Gus frowned. Should he try shading? He gently rubbed a pencil mark with his fingertip and winced at the mess he made. “I need colours— right now!”
“Paints or crayons?” Willow asked, shooting to her feet
Paints would be too messy… “Crayons!”
“You’re a witch,” Hunter reminded Gus. “Why don’t you just—? ”
“‘’S’cuse me!” Willow shoved past Hunter to reach the desk. She pulled a pack of colouring crayons out of a blue pencil pot, and passed them to Gus. “Here you go!”
“Thanks…”
Gus coloured in the lines he’d drawn, but when he was finished, it still looked… wrong. The crayons were too waxy, too artificial, and they didn’t blend together.
A baby could have done better than this!
“I’ve ruined it!” Gus moaned. His illusion-bubble popped. He threw his sketchbook away and flopped facedown on the rug.
“No, you haven’t!” Willow went to pick up his sketchbook
Still on the rug, Gus turned his head to Willow as she crouched beside him. She held the picture up to him, hoping he would see it in a different light.
“See? It’s fine, way better than my doodles—“
“Fine isn’t good enough,” Gus huffed.
Hunter said, “Why not?”
Rubbing his wrist, Gus sat up. “Because… Matt’s a really, really good artist. I just wanted to draw him something— something I put a lot of effort into…!”
“You did put a lot of effort in, Gus,” Willow assured him. “Of course Matt will see that, but if anyone doesn’t, who cares?”
“You can’t please everyone,” Hunter muttered, sympathetically. Willow offered him a reassuring smile.
Gus looked between the two of them. He took the sketchbook back from Willow, staring at his picture .
“But,” Hunter added, with surprising optimism, “do you know what would jazz it up even more…?” He stood up and pulled a small carving knife out of his apron pocket.
“A… palisman?” Gus guessed. “But Matt already has…”
Gus trailed off as Willow made a rectangle with her thumbs and index fingers. Closing one eye, Willow moved the rectangle over to Gus, as if she was snapping a photo of him.
“Oh!” Gus gasped.
-
Matt ripped the wrapping paper off the box. “You got me… a hunk of wood?”
“No !” Gus sighed. Carefully, Gus removed the hand-carved panel of wood and flipped it over, revealing his picture inside the frame.
Matt’s eyes widened. “Wait— you made this?”
Gus wasn’t sure if Matt was referring to the picture of the beach or the frame or both, but he nodded shyly.
Matt snatched the gift off him. For a horrible second, Gus thought Matt was going to throw the framed picture away, but then, Matt held it up for all of his party guests to see.
“Everyone— look at this! Look at THIS! The first of many masterpieces from Augustus Porter! And it’s all MINE…!”
Gus blushed and beamed at Matt’s adulation.
He glanced back at Willow and Hunter, who were both watching behind him. Willow gave him a thumbs-up. Though Hunter looked a little tired, he was smiling.
Gus mouthed, “Thank you—“ but he was cut off as Matt caught him in a one-armed hug.
-
Hunter smiled at Gus and Mattholomule.
He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night— between woodcarving and their history project— but it was worth it to see Gus and his friend/rival/crush(?) so happy together.
Rubbing his eyes, Hunter wondered how much longer he would have to stay at the party…
Mattholomule wouldn’t mind if Hunter left, would he? He and Hunter weren’t really close (Hunter was more familiar with Matt’s brother, Steve), and Hunter didn’t have a present with him…
An arm wrapped around Hunter’s shoulder. Willow pulled him down so her mouth was level with his burning ear.
“You can take credit for the frame,” she whispered. “Gus won’t mind…”
“Nah…” Hunter chuckled. “I’ll let him have this one—“
“That’s sweet of you…” Willow hummed hopefully. “Could you make me a photo frame— when it’s my birthday?”
“S-sure…”
To make sure it was absolutely perfect he’d have to start preparations immediately— finding the right wood, marking the measurements…
Willow pecked him on the cheek, interrupting Hunter’s plans.
“Thanks, Hunter.”
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pinkriaji · 1 year
Text
Hey everyone, is your manifesting bestie!!
I'm sorry for not uploading new posts, my finals are in 2 weeks so I'm finishing and presenting my last hw, and soon I'll do my exams❤️
I'm not nervous because I'm gonna have good grades, and everything will work out in my favor ❤️
✨️Just came today to give a little reminder✨️
The reality that you dream of, is already inside you.
The 3D has no power over anything, it is only a reflection❤️
Start feeling like your reality is already a fact in your 4D, because you are thinking about it, dreaming about it, affirming for it, so naturally it is going to be reflected into the 3D, because the 3D is only a reflection!!
Whatever you want is real and it's yours, nobody could ever take it away.
I believe in you❤️
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