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#finally wrote this!!
harfanfare · 1 year
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How to win the heart of jack how?
How to win a heart of Jack Howl?
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a/n: Dearest Anon, I hope you are still here. I tried my best to write a good story. I hope you and every other reader will enjoy it!!
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1. Get him to act as your boyfriend.
You don't know who that boy from Savanaclaw is, but at the moment, you can't care.
Your step hastens unwittingly, and you find yourself running towards the white-haired boy in a gymnastics shirt. He must be returning from daily training because even Mr Vargas doesn't torture his students so early in the morning. You glance at him once more, and you're sure that he will be a perfect fit for a plan you got into.
His ears twitch at the sound of your resilient steps, and he sharply turns your way before you bump into him. Of course, you would have slowed your pace and avoided any accident, but he catches your arms and stops you abruptly. You wonder how strong he may be if he didn't even budge.
"Uh... [Last Name]-senpai...?"
He looks at you with a slightly concerned look.
Oh, so he does know you? Wonderful.
"Hello there," you breathe out, gently getting out of his arms. You hope that being so winded doesn't leave a terribly unfortunate impression. "I… I know that we hadn't really talked with each other—yet—but I would… really, really appreciate it if you could help me with something."
A boy glances at you with vary.
You consider yourself lucky that he doesn't brush you off.
"…What do you need me for?"
You put on the most charming smile you can afford.
"It will sound really stupid, but… could you please act as my boyfriend? Be my fake date?"
"What?" A boy stutters the question. Before you can answer, he scrutinizes your surroundings. "Is someone stalking you?"
You shake your head energetically.
"No, no. I… just got into a bet with my cousin. And, well, to summarize the two-hour talk I may have told her that I will bring my boyfriend to a family dinner…" You watch how his expression changes slightly. Falls. "…But, obviously, I wouldn't drag anyone to my house. So, I was thinking about going with someone there and ' breaking up' in a few days. Oh, and I- I can pay you for your help!"
Your hands link in a plea.
"I-" Jack can't find any words he could offer you. Should he help you or just leave…? "[Last Name]-senpai, I really don't know what to say…" He trails off. "…Why me?"
His question animated you. You throw your hands in the air and wave in his general direction.
"I mean, look at you!" You exclaim, hoping a great amount of enthusiasm in your voice will work in your favour. "You seem like a hot, reliable guy. Kind. Charismatic."
Jack looks stunned. "Ah? W… What…?"
"You look exactly like the person I described to my parents!" You don't stop talking. His sudden bashfulness makes you speak even more confidently. "Please, if you aren't dating anyone right now, help me!"
Jack's eyes are avoiding yours as he scratches his nape. The silence stretches between you two, and you feel your heart sinking with regret each quiet second.
But then he coughs.
"…I don't like this idea," he mumbles, and his gaze meets yours. You notice the rosiness on his cheeks. The blush probably appeared because of the awkwardness of this situation and not because of a sudden crush on you, though. A pity. "But you look… desperate. You've got the spirit, and I will have you in debt. So… I will try helping you."
"Ah!"
You can't hide the smile that spreads on your face. You jump to Jack and pull him into a tight hug. He tenses under your sudden touch and lightly tries to push you off.
"Thank you so much…!" You cry out. After wiping a dramatic tear, you step back from him. You lower your head when you feel your face heating slightly in shame. "So… What is your name?"
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2. He's still not convinced. Do something.
The bright screen of his phone has his undivided attention. A beautiful moon in the sky is already forgotten even as it's dazzling in its full beauty tonight.
His eyes skim through the chat. The last message you sent was dated five hours ago, and he hasn't been able to push it to the back of his mind. It still clung to him when he listened to lectures and exercised. Now, when he had done everything he had planned for today, and it was getting dark, he can't stop from pondering.
He scrolled to a top of a chat and began going over the conversation for the tenth time.
Chat: [Name] sent you an invitation. Accept to friends?
Chat: Jack accepted an invitation. You're friends now!
[Name]: Hi Jack!!
[Name]: Thank you so much again for agreeing to such a weird deal hahaha
[Name]: Can we meet tomorrow during lunch break to talk about it?
[Jack]: Sure
[Name]: [happy sticker sent]
…Should he regret his decision? But, if he was to turn down your offer, you would have a serious problem, no? Maybe that's what you should get for lying—a lie always has short legs—but…
Jack can't bring himself up to call the whole thing off.
It's not because he is too shy to walk away from that situation. Maybe he doesn't want to leave you by yourself since you picked him from over three hundred students in NRC. And maybe he likes helping people. And your help - he has you in debt, hm - in his studies might be crucial in the future.
Or so he hopes.
Ping!
His heart skips a surprised beat when a sudden message appears after the sticker message.
[Name]: …I see you are still online
[Name]: Can't stop thinking about that chat? Hehe
Jack's fingers hover over the screen before he types a reply.
Jack: I can.
He lied.
Jack: That all just happened so quickly
[Name]: After sleeping, you might feel easier with that idea
[Name]: Tbh I doubt I will be able to sleep right now
[Name]: Soooo
[Name]: Wanna play something?
He doesn't even have a short moment to consider your offer before another notification pops up.
Chat: [Name] invited you to play a game of UNO CARD. Click here to join in!
Jack sighs.
And taps the link.
He will go to sleep soon. He can't miss his morning training, after all.
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3. Be a helpful upperclassman.
"Ah. It's that vending machine."
"[Name]-senpai…"
You lean against the cold metal, and Jack slowly looks at you. He heard your steps but didn't react until you made your presence too obvious to ignore. You smile cheerfully at him, not minding the stiffness he treats you with.
"Just [Name], Jack-kouhai," you tease and take two steps to stand next to him, facing the front of a vending machine. Behind the glass, colourful cans reflect the bright lights of corridors' chandeliers. "I see you have a problem here."
There is a bottle of pear-flavoured water trapped between the glass and a lower shelf, where lay packs of biscuit cookies. It doesn't seem to be stuck too hard to give up hope of getting it out, but neither are the other items on the machine. Everything is attached too loosely.
You believe that if you tried to tilt the whole thing, a bottle wouldn't be the only thing that would fall down.
"There are three ways you can get out your precious water, Jack," you hold three fingers in front of him. "You can buy something from a higher shelf—but both things can get stuck—you can punch the machine (gently, Jack, gently), or try reaching that bottle from below… Although it will hurt when you try to squeeze your arm through the window you usually take your drink from," you count solutions on your hand as you talk and then smile at Jack with anticipation.
"…I will go with buying something else, then." He looks like he'd rather give up on the water but still pats his pockets and takes another coin from his pocket. "…I don't have enough to buy anything more right now... Can you wait here while I go for my wallet?"
"No! …Can I have your change?"
…Well. With a grunt that resembles a resigned sigh, he hands you a coin.
You put it in the machine, along with several more you had on yourself, and tap a button next to the big pack of jellies on the highest shelf. With a soft clack! candy lands on a bottle, and with a hard crash, it makes it to the end. With a bottle.
It feels like a big victory when you squat to take both items out.
"We won!" You announce, throwing him his water, and then spare no time to open the jellies. "You can take half of them," As you shift the pack toward him, Jack hesitatingly takes a handful. You grin. "See? Having such a great upperclassman as me is an ultimate investment in life."
"Is that so," Jack ponders. ...Somehow, he feels entertained by your show. If you 'asked out' Ace Trappola instead of him, he would be your perfect partner in this kind of antics. "By the way, senpai, could you check an essay I've done? I need to turn it in tomorrow. That would be even more helpful than help with a vending machine."
The look he gives you says that he doesn't think you can correct his work to make it score top marks. You know you can't do that too.
"……..Heh."
So much for trying to be a helpful senpai.
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4. Get to know him.
"Do I really need to answer these questions?" Jack sounds concerned, and you can't help but chuckle at the hesitance in his voice. "They are weird…"
You take a sip of your drink. It is sour but in a very pleasant way. Well, you couldn't really expect less from the special item on a Monstro Lounge's menu. Even the occasional, time-limited and experimental dishes are quite tasteful here.
Jack sits across you, with his arms crossed as he studies the two-paged paper quiz you handed him. At his left, there is a glass of refreshing lemonade you insisted on paying for. Your fake-and-still-unsure boyfriend in question hasn't left yet, so you guess that treating him was a great idea.
"It's an instant way to know someone. I came up with the idea."
"That's the matter…"
He almost scowls, and you grin at the statement.
"We need to know some basics about ourselves. I wrote my questions for you on this sheet of paper," you point at a thin file in front of him, and shift another one in his direction. "And you can write anything you want to ask me here."
Hm.
Jack isn't sure if he wants to know anything particular about you. Anything more.
"…Okay," he replies, eyeing you carefully. Then, with a pen in his hand, he begins to write his questions for you.
It takes him several minutes to fill the page. When he hands it to you, his firm, right-slanting handwriting flashes at you. Your lips curve as you note that it fits him very much.
But then you start reading the questions.
And your smile drops.
"I can't answer these questions, Jack," you protest, and Jack squints his eyes at you in confusion. "I have no clue about the names of the muscles I focused on when we had a Vargas Camp," At your comment, he starts deflating, and you pause in a second. And then, after rereading the questions again, you pout sulkily. "…Couldn't you ask anything about my great personality?"
"…Then, is there anything I need to know before 'dating' you?" Jack scratches his neck, dropping his gaze at a lemonade before him.
"Now you make it sound as if I was dangerous," you laugh, but you can feel how your voice is a little strained. Just a little bit. "Either way, I won't tell you! You're getting me in a two-in-one special: you get precious me and my darkest secrets. It's a great deal."
"It's not."
You wave your hand as his response is as if it was physically brushed away. "The real question is: do I need to know anything about you?"
Jack huffs, but when he closes his eyes, you know he thinks about it seriously. It doesn't take a long while for him to speak up again.
"I think… I'm a pretty normal guy," he says and looks at you as if he wanted your reassurance. Your mouth 'no', and by the glance he sends you, you know how unimpressed he is. "I might not reach high standards if you or your family have any."
If he was sitting next to you, you would pat his arm, but you can only playfully step on his shoe under the table. You tap it twice, and when Jack looks up at you, a full grin plasters on your face.
You laugh. "You're good to go. I think you are more than living up to my parents' unfounded low expectations of my boyfriend."
"…Now I wonder why so."
"And you will keep on wondering. You won't ever hear this story~." You hum. "Well. Maybe one day."
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5. Have faith in yourself. (It doesn't need to be justified).
"Now we turn left…"
"It's on the right."
"It's left."
"Right!"
"It's left."
"It can't be left! On the left we have mandragoras..."
"We just passed the alley where they were, [Name]."
Jack sighs. Moving around the botanical garden shouldn't be this hard. You two have been there many times, but now the corridors stopped looking familiar as new roots started taking over the paths. It was a time for flowers to blossom.
Going there was a mistake. You can't even remember what were you going to search for here, but if you asked Jack, he would probably remember.
You don't want to ask him, though.
"Well, you can go right, and I will go left," you huff, crossing your arms. "We will see who will get out of here before the lunch break ends."
You turn around on your heel, and as you step to the left aisle, Jack catches you by the back of your shirt's collar and quickly jumps next to you. Then, by standing back to you, he grabs your arms from behind and pushes you forward. You began taking shaky steps towards the right alley.
"No," says Jack. "We will have a joint PE lesson. Both of us need to eat something before that. Let me guide, [Name]."
"I don't have a choice anyway," you note that although his grip on your arms is steady and would be hard to break out from, it isn't painful. It's almost gentle as he forces you to go ahead. "And don't assume I don't know the way…!"
"I hear the voices of others. I will find an exit faster," he says. "Bear with me, and we'll get out of there."
"…If we don't, you will have to admit publically that your sense of orientation sucks."
"Then, shouldn't you do the same if my lead is correct?"
You slowly start to recognize the plants and where you two were.
He is guiding you correctly.
"…No."
Jack hums, and you can tell he's amused by the disappointment in your voice.
"Then I will keep it a secret to myself."
"I have a great sense of orientation, just- not today!" You protest as you tug on his sleeve. He doesn't stop pushing you so slightly to guide you two to the exit. "Don't remember this kind of lies, Jack."
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6. Cheer on him.
"Here's water."
"Thanks."
Jack takes cold water and sits down next to you. A bench is sturdy enough that it doesn't squeak, even as you sit in the middle of it. With no problem, he takes off a cap you struggled with—he doesn't need to know this, however—and quenches his thirst.
He also accepts the towel your hand him with "thanks".
"You are going to have a match with RSA in two weeks, right?" Your question sounds more like a statement. Jack wonders if you would show up at his training if it wasn't for it.
"Yeah."
"Our school will have a whole day without lessons just to watch it."
Jack nods.
Maybe if it wasn't RSA, it wouldn't be the deal it is now. But you can count only on one hand the NRC students who don't feel competitive when the academy is mentioned. Even the people who aren't going to play, behave as if they were going to, with their cheering and hyping each other.
Cheering… NRC students will have to prepare some banners to support their team. And practice the cheer itself. Probably Pomefiore students will have to engage. They might not be very interested in sports events, but they won't let RSA beat them in terms of aesthetics.
Maybe the strong rivalry isn't that bad at all.
"By the way…" You trail off and don't speak again until Jack looks at you. "Even though we will be cheering on your team, all of my cheers are dedicated to you."
"Khe-"
Oops.
Jack chokes on his water in surprise, but when you move with concern to pat his back, he moves away, coughing into the crook of his elbow, and putting up his other hand to stop you. He eventually stops choking and sighs deeply.
When he looks up, and when you get to see his face, you notice a faint blush on his cheeks. His eyes crinkle wary. "…Are you trying out a pick-up line?"
And you tried being encouraging.
"No! I wanted to be supportive!" You protest. "Would you like it to be a pick-up li-?"
"No thanks," he says curtly. Then, clears his throat, and after making sure he can hold your gaze, he starts paying attention to his voice, to not have the next words come out as a mutter. "…But thank you for being here."
You smile softly and can feel your heart warm up.
But you ruin the atmosphere as the mischievous grin spreads up your face and meets your eyes. "Are you trying out a pick-up line, hehe? Don't look at me like that. I would very much like it to be."
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7. Have fake dates.
"Did you know that couples usually post some photos from their dates?"
You don't look up from your screen when you say it. Jack glances at you, who has been coming to his room whenever you had a chance. You started taking his bed as yours. He always grunts as you do so, but you noticed that a blanket you brought with you on a colder day is always folded and overhanging the headboard.
"What do you mean?" He asks, not stopping flexing his arm with the dumbbell. You turn the screen of your phone towards him, showing a Magicam profile of a girl he doesn't know.
"Like, uh. We should get some material to convince everyone that our relationship is very entertaining," you say, scrolling through the posts.
There are lots of pictures of said girl and her boyfriend. From amusement parks, oceanariums, festivals, bookstores, restaurants… You look at Jack as you got to the last image. "They look happy. And enamoured with each other."
Jack thinks about something.
"Do you think just posting photos is enough to prove the 'trueness' of our relationship?"
You grin. "That will convince introverts. All the people who didn't see us."
Jack actually laughs. "Right," he says, and as his voice steadies, he returns to doing his exercises. As you think the topic is ended, Jack speaks up so quietly that he almost mouths his words. "Then we can get… a few."
His eyes are intensely glued to the floor when you look at him.
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8. Talk about the rules. (Find out whether you can fake a kiss. (Fake kiss?)
"Are we ready?"
Jack asks, for the last time correcting the cuffs of his shirt. A suit he picked fits him; it's similar to the uniform he wears every day, but it's even more elegant. He leaves it unbuttoned, and whether he was wearing a tie, it would cover the little buttons of a white shirt he wears underneath.
He doesn't, though, but you don't say anything. You can't really say anything, because he looks so astonishing that something similar to awe grips your throat. Jack looks gorgeous. Not only in very classic clothes but also freshened up. His hair is puffier than usual, and you would love to play with it if it would ruin its tidiness.
You also dressed yourself up. You thought you were unusually pretty tonight, more than ever.
Jack doesn't agree but doesn't deny it either. He just stares at you, and by the way, his chest expands and stops, you start to wonder if he stopped breathing.
But he finally breathes out, and you don't dare to check if he has a desired blush on his cheeks or not.
You start walking toward the hall of mirrors, where one could take you back to your family home. Your home.
"Once again, leave all the questions related to romance up to me," you say, winking at him. "I read so much fanfiction I can come up with a realistic, heartwarming backstory of our relationship immediately."
"Don't tell them anything weird."
He says so, and you chuckle.
"They will probably tease us, so don't be shy to ignore them," you continue. By the time, you are standing before a big mirror. Its surface shines brightly, and in a brief moment, an image of your hometown is already displayed. Your house is close, very close. "And… just be yourself, you're charming."
"…If you say so," Jack says. He looks as if he wanted to say something, and you wait before he speaks up with hesitation. "Shall we hold hands?"
You didn't expect that.
But you aren't going to refuse.
You intertwine your fingers with his and grin. Your heartbeat rises once more again, and you know, that it won't slow down until you return back. Jack squeezes your hand back.
"Next step in our relationship, I see," you say with a smile. "You have warm hands."
You stand there for just a little while, stopping Jack from going through the mirror, but it's too long as another thought crosses your mind.
"Wait. Do you think they will ask us to kiss?" Stupid you, stupid you, stupid you, stop talking, stop talking, stop talking, laugh to cover the awkwardness and throw the topic away. You laugh. "No. They wouldn't. Never mind, don't think about that."
Now you try to go through the mirror. Jack's hand, which still holds yours, stops you midway. You have no choice but to look up at him and confront the gaze he wishes you didn't see.
"…If the situation will be tragic enough, we can do it," he says and coughs. "But it might be awkward, but I don't think I could fake a kiss."
"Neither could I," my chest will explode in a moment, you note. Somehow, you grin with mischief, but it isn't as malicious as you wished it to be. "So our very unfakeable kiss would convince everyone."
"Stop wishing for it to happen."
"I haven't been wishing! But well, maybe I might start doing so. Someday. Sometimes. Ah, let's just go!"
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9. Lose the previous reason to date.
The dinner went well.
You never once regretted choosing Jack as your partner in crime, but now you were so proud of yourself, as your mother talked happily with Jack, and dad listened to their conversation, sometimes commenting.
Your cousin was actually convinced about your relationship with Jack. She even offered to have a double date and recommended places interesting enough to have memorable dates. She felt happy for you, and it was warming your heart but also freezing it by turns.
You had to politely brush all her offers off because… Well, Jack agreed to be your date until today.
You've been painfully aware of it, as Jack's hand holds yours since you left your house.
Even when you got to the mirror, where no one from your family could see you anymore… Even when you got back to school, your hands were still linked, but you didn't want to point it out. Jack could have backed out and it was the last thing you wanted.
But everything must have an end.
"Thank you," you breathe and smile slightly at him. Looking him straight into the eyes beyond your strength. You part your hands very slowly before you turn to get to your dormitory. "Goodnight, Jack."
As Jack turns and walks back to his dormitory, he can't help but think about a single thing. Even the dinner he was stressing about him the whole day has been already forgotten.
The next morning you will wake up, and you two "won't be together".
Jack scowls.
If you ever have been.
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10. End the play.
"Thank you for your hard work~," you smile cheerfully when getting to his room. For the last time as a "partner", if you still hold that title. You put a glass bottle on his desk. "I've got you a pear compote, so you won't have the heart to throw it out."
"I… wouldn't do anything like that even if it wasn't it," Jack says, and doesn't move away when you sit on the bed next to him. He can smell the light perfumes you wore today and almost feels the warmth of your body, sitting so close to him.
There is a silence between you before you decide to break it.
"So… that's it, huh?"
You smile, and something in Jack breaks again. He feels as if was falling, but expected the fall itself… Since he met you properly, he knew you will part your days in a few weeks.
But if he could lengthen the time…
Even if it meant sacrificing the part of his pride…
He would try anything.
His face is covered with blushes, and his mouth twists with embarrassment when he notices how lame is the only excuse he can come up with now.
"Can-" He doesn't stutter but fights with his words. How can he say what he wants so you will understand? "Can we pretend for a little more? I'm sorry, but I told my mother that I have a partner, and she's excited to see you."
"So a next dinner!" Your hands clasp with enthusiasm, but you know you need to hold them to stop them from shaking. You need to keep calm and be a cool senpai. "Then, we are continuing our fake dating, hehe?"
Jack purses his lips, and to your surprise, he aggressively shakes his head.
"We can't. She will know if it's fake," he says in a dead-serious tone. Your mouth curls in a smile you try to cover with your hand.
"So we should be serious," you conclude, imitating the voice Jack used just before. And then you stand up from bed and make your way so that you are just before him. You put your hands on your sides. "But I am waiting for a proper confession."
Jack sighs softly.
"…You're making this hard for me," he says, but stands up. The morning rays of sunlight come through the window and enlighten his figure. His eyes shine with gold, and somehow you can't look away from them."…And it's weird because I wouldn't like it if you stopped complicating things." He puts his hand over his heart. "I simply want to stay by your side, now and… in the future… That's the only thing I wish now."
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strangelittlestories · 4 months
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After the occupation, the princess was confined to the palace.
Once a month she'd be taken on a walk around the city, heavily guarded of course, to show the people that she still lived. It also served, of course, as a reminder of what they stood to lose if they made trouble. The princess did her best go wave and smile and give the people what encouragement she could.
The rest of the time, her life was spent in musty rooms and dusty towers. She filled most of her time scouring the castle for materials which she would sew into more and more elaborate outfits, which she would show off on the days when she was allowed outside.
Indeed, the public loved their princess and her dresses so much they'd often sketch or paint them along the route and pass the images on so that all could see the princess at least was well.
This pleased the occupiers for two reasons. First: it kept the princess out of trouble. Second: it gave them a reason to sneer and they did love a good sneer.
"What a vain creature she is!" They would remark.
"Doesn't even care we murdered her brothers so long as she gets enough satin to make her little dresses!" They squawked.
This was unfair, of course, for to call her creations "little dresses" was to call Queen Murderfun the Needlessly Genocidal "a tad piquey". Her dresses were gravity-defying wonders lace and pearl. They were thunderstorms captured in velvet and waterfalls summoned in silk. She was a wizard with silk.
Still, she bore their mockery with a tight smile and careful deference.
"Please, good sirs, my home, my people and my city now belong to you. Let me keep, at least, this one last joy."
And they sneered and they crowed most unpleasantly, but they let her keep her sewing room.
Of course, they would have known their mockery to be doubly unfair had they realised the true purpose of the princess's elaborate designs. For hidden in the intricate embroiderings across her gowns, jackets and fans, the princess had encoded secret (and very detailed) messages. When she would go on her monthly walk, the city's loyalists would line the route, sketching down the patterns to decode later.
Thus did the princess transmit all the occupiers' secrets (unearthed while supposedly 'searching the castle for old fabrics') to the city and thus did she build her resistance.
On the day the revolution finally came, she girded herself in armour of thick spider silk and whale bone. She cut a fine figure with a lacy handkerchief in her top pocket and a razor sharp knitting needle keeping her hair up.
As she waltzed through the castle to open the door for her army, the Usurper King tried to stop her and she simply unfolded her handkerchief and showed it to him.
Upon seeing the impossible arcane pattern emblazoned across it, he fell to the floor with blood streaming from his eyes.
She always had been a wizard with silk.
---
Thank you for reading. If you'd like to support my writing, you can do so at https://ko-fi.com/strangelittlestories
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hansoeii · 6 months
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It's about who.
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writeouswriter · 1 year
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My followers: And is this “writing” you’ve been “working on” in the room with us right now?
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crybaby-bkg · 4 months
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I think Deku has a bit of a mean streak, actually. he’s no Bakugou—that’s for sure—but he’s not this innocent, sweet angel baby that the media has painted him out to be. but you only catch it when you least expect it, when you’re pushing his nerves, when the stakes to everything around him are high, when he’s tired of endless sleepless nights and just—snaps.
“Oh?” you go, grin unfurling like some grinch, chin resting on your hands as you leer at him from across his expansive desk. “You’re mean.” your words are teasing, a snarl that curls your mouth up. Deku stutters, eyes going wide, jaw snapping shut in surprise as he tries to think back on how rude he just sounded.
“No, I’m not—I mean, you wouldn’t stop and I just—there’s a lot on my plate right now—and you just—you keep on—I’m not—I’m not mean.” He’s sputtering, hands all over the place, the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose falling even lower with how he jabbers on and on. it’s endearing really, to see how he tries to upkeep his image of being so kind and understanding, even though his nostrils just flared at you. and his eyebrows turned down and he gritted at you, his hands were balled into fists, his words were so nasty, so ugly, so unbecoming for Deku.
you liked it. loved it even—vowed to get him like this every single fucking second that you could.
you pick and poke at him whenever you see him, teasing him and pulling at him. pushing him around even though the hero is so much stronger than you, so much bigger. and he lets you, tries to defend himself but—that’s not what you want. you want the ugliness, the snark, the mean.
he snaps, eventually, when you least expect it. grabs you up in black whip when you go to push him against the wall for the third time in only a minute, his eyes suddenly dark, the aura of the room suddenly charged.
“That’s what I was looking for.” you whisper to him, the grin spreading your face quickly dissipating in only seconds when you become the prey. when you become the one pushed up against the wall with teeth at your neck, a hand in your underwear, bullying your hole with too thick fingers.
“Why do you want me to act like this? Be so mean to you, huh?” he sounds so frustrated with himself, with you, growling and nipping and licking when you don’t answer quick enough. but your breath is caught in your lungs because finally—finally, did you get what you wanted. it just took a little bit of pushing, you suppose.
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visionsofmagic · 7 months
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day 2: ryomen sukuna [breeding kink]
࿓ synopsis • sukuna just wants a womb to put his babies in but it changes when he fucks you.
―❦ nsfw, explicit language, f!reader, heian era!sukuna who has fours arms, concubine!reader, contains of a bit dark themes, licking, marks, pet names, humiliation, sukuna is being sukuna, a bit of fluff, sex addiction, fingering, cum, overstimulation [‘is all I guess?] • 1.8k • the first time I am writing for my favorite villain from jjk. Excited but there can be mistakes. enjoy! [kinktober m.]
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“fuck brat!” a dark chuckling, mocking you as his crimson four eyes look at below - at the mess you are making because of his thick cocks inside your walls, deep enough to make it ache like hell yet magnificent enough to give you the pleasure no one can. “look at how my seed is coming out of your pathetic pussy.” 
he doesn’t wait for you to respond- to even comprehend what he’s saying, holding your smaller face by the chin as his palm stays on your cheek. 
he lowers your head down, making you look at his cocks disappearing inside your pussy, and a bit of his hot semen dripping from it to his abdomen. 
“it’s-“ you try to say, sounding husky since you have only moaned, and screamed in the last few hours. closing your eyes, a jolt of electricity mixed with pain and pleasure runs through your body, even in veins, when he moves his hips, thrusting into you one more time before making you sit on his cocks once again - oh, his two damn big cocks should’ve ripped you apart if he wasn’t this gentle, surprisingly calm and gentle because he wants you to stay alive - you will have his legacy inside your womb after all, the reason why he fucks you for the past few hours.
“is it too much?” mocking again, his tongue on the abdomen takes a lick from your abdomen, traveling to your breasts from there, sending another mix of tears and moans.
“suku – aghh!“ a slap on the ass, “my king! oh, it’s - it’s too much! I can’t - I can’t -!” 
he only laughs at your poor attempts, “you can’t?” he asks, not a question though, only a treat as he sounds like pure poison. one of his hands holds you from your neck harshly enough to make you shake in fear for a moment while the other free one caress your hair - the opposite actions of his two arms gives you a dizzying sensation that takes your logical side from you, giving you pure insanity in return.
“be grateful that I fuck you whore,” his other two hands hold your waist as he makes you move forward and backward, riding you slowly. you only hear your own breaths as if there is nothing left inside your lungs, eyes already blurred that look at his bastard but attractive face, hands standing beside you because you have no brain to use them, not anymore, not after he fucked you in 5 different positions already. “there are thousands of women and men who beg for my cocks, you know that, right brat?” 
his hands move from your waist to your ass, grasping the flesh tightly – too tightly to leave red marks as you believe after feeling a sudden heat rushing to the skin he is holding, however, he doesn’t care at all – why he should anyway? you’re just one of his concubines – maybe his favorite one for the moment, and him showing you mercy and a bit of affection – unlike he does for others – doesn’t mean anything; you’re just there to take his hot semen every now and then, whenever he wants to fuck that pussy and brain of yours so that you can have his legacy inside you, heir to him – lots of heirs.
“puff –“ he says, scoffing after that, picking you up – a pathetic and cuckdumbed woman in his arms, he thinks, gazing at your half-closed eyes, agape mouth – salvia running out of it, “disgusting,” he says in a low tone but contrary to his words, his actions are proof that he likes what he sees because he keeps going and going until his eyes travel from that open mouth of yours he wants to put one of his cocks in, to your breasts full of biting marks that turned to red, moving to your pussy from there.
his cocks’ tips standing beneath your pussy that is pouring his semen ‘cause it is too fucking much.
shaking his head in arrogance, he puts your body on his lap with a bridal style, left hands staying on your back while a free one stays on your pussy, caressing it and he watches how your body begins to shake again, a hand is put on his chest, holding his wide open sleeve’s side tightly as if you have right to do that, and even your head fall into his shoulder, breathing rapidly yet lowly as he holds your body close to him.
why he does that – why he allows you to do that; remains unanswered.
he doesn’t think much, not now, he has a desire to put that damn semen into your wide-open pussy.
holding your thighs apart, his fingers – two long and thick fingers enter into your messy slit, white wetness joins into hot walls one by one, and it continues until sukuna is satisfied with it. “do not fucking dare to move now, woman.” he treats you. he sounds he is one step away from breaking your neck if you do move. you should fear him, you know, oppositely, you do otherwise, giving astonishing state to sukuna, making him freeze for a moment when he feels you getting closer to him, a hand travels on his neck, and a head sits on his shoulder, you even open your legs wider.
you don’t say anything, the mouth is too dry to speak aloud; he gets it though – and that gives satisfaction to him, and his responses end with a new position.
being the definition of menace for desires live within him, and you witness it when he puts you on the carpet, hovering below you as he cages you between his four arms, then, one of them appears on your abdomen, pushing it into the floor – gently yet it feels terrifying.
you look into his crimson eyes, hoping to see sanity inside them – what a fool you’re to try searching.
no, no – you think to yourself, conscious coming back even though you're high – he will not fuck you as a concubine now, he will fuck you as if you’re his queen, you’re so sure of it and the words slipping out of his smirking mouth prove you right.
“I will fuck so many babies inside this womb that you won’t be able to even walk, pretty slut,” a compliment, huh, sounds different than you thought, still, gives a jolt of happiness throughout your entire body that lying beneath his massive body, ready to take him one more – or maybe even more – time.  “I will make a fucking queen out of you with my children. don’t you worry whore,”
the only thing you can remember is seeing his big smile – entertaining before the only thing you can comprehend is his presence below you, behind you, under you – hands conquers every part of your body because you’re his – the one who will give him heir, stay beside him, being a fucking queen of kings of curses. “you’re entirely mine now. mine to have – fuccck! – mine to fuck! and mine to breed.”
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❦ tagging: @lilvampirina !
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solarmorrigan · 8 months
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“Oh shit, what’s wrong?”
Steve watches, horrified, as Eddie reaches up with his free hand to swipe at the moisture gathering beneath his eyes.
“Nothing, man,” Eddie croaks, and Steve doesn’t believe him for a moment.
“Did I hurt you? Is the bandage on wrong? Too tight?” Steve becomes aware as he speaks that he’s all but clutching Eddie’s hand in his own and makes a conscious effort to loosen his grip.
This only seems to make things worse; Eddie makes a noise of protest and grabs more tightly to Steve’s hand and then looks twice as mortified as before, and that’s not at all what Steve wants.
Changing Eddie’s bandages is a goddamn ordeal; there are so many of them, and they seem to be everywhere, and Eddie doesn’t have the good drugs anymore, just Tylenol, and he’s always exhausted and sore by the end of it all. Steve doesn’t want to make him feel worse.
He would start fixing it, if he only knew what he’d done.
“Eddie,” he says softly, “please tell me what’s wrong.”
Eddie shakes his head, swiping under his eyes again. “It’s seriously nothing, it’s stupid. It’s just…” he hesitates, and Steve squeezes his hand encouragingly. “It reminded me of my mom, what you did, with the little – like, the little kiss on the bandage when you finished putting it on. She used to do that.”
“Oh – shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, like, overstep, or–”
“You didn’t–”
“I thought it would make you laugh or something, not drag out some sad memory, and–”
“Steve,” Eddie cuts in more firmly, “you didn’t. I’m not fuckin’ sad, it just – kinda hit me weird. That’s all.”
Steve purses his lips, staring up at Eddie from the kitchen floor, where he’s been kneeling in order to work at the bandages. He’s not sure if he should get out of Eddie’s space now, maybe give him a minute to himself, because Eddie is still holding onto his hand, and Steve still has another bandage to change out, and then Eddie rolls his eyes at him.
“Stop looking at me like you ran over my dog, man. I swear to god, I’m fine. It was kinda nice, actually, alright?” Eddie huffs. “Like, I forgot about that, until you did it, so it was– it was kinda nice.”
“Oh,” Steve says.
“Yeah. So do you think we could just…” Eddie gestures at his cheek with his free hand, and Steve nods.
“Yeah, lemme– I’ll finish up.”
The bandage on Eddie’s cheek is the last to change out, and Steve tries to make it quick. He has Eddie hold his hair to the side as he works, mostly to give him something to do with his hands – there are a million hair ties still floating around the house from before Robin cut her hair (Steve finds more every time he vacuums, he swears the things multiply in the dark), but Steve’s found that giving Eddie some kind of task keeps him still while Steve deals with disinfectant and gauze.
He's gotten the process down to something simple and efficient, and it feels like he’s done too soon. Eddie takes a sidelong glance at him when he takes his hands away, though he’s obediently holding still until he’s given the all-clear.
“Done?” he asks.
“Almost, yeah,” Steve says. “One last thing.”
Slowly, in case Eddie wants to pull back, Steve leans in and presses a featherlight kiss to the center of the bandage, holding his breath in shivery anticipation of Eddie’s reaction.
“That alright?” Steve asks quietly.
“Uh.” Eddie drops his hair and turns to look at Steve, eyes wide but dry this time. “Yeah. That’s– Actually, no.” Steve’s stomach drops when Eddie shakes his head, but then Eddie goes on, “I think you should do it one more time. Just, like, to make sure it works.”
“Yeah?” A slow grin curls over Steve’s face as his stomach makes its way back up from where it had landed near his ankles. “I think you’re right. Better safe than sorry.”
Steve leans in again, giving the bandage a quick, gentle peck. Then, because he can’t quite help himself, he presses another kiss to Eddie’s chin. And then, because they’re right there, pink and inviting and slightly parted as Eddie watches Steve with rapt attention, Steve presses one last kiss to his lips.
Eddie barely has time to return it, but he laughs when Steve pulls away. “Pretty sure my mouth was never injured, Steve.”
“You sure?” Steve shoots back.
“I mean– Well, you could check,” Eddie offers.
“Yeah, I could,” Steve says, leaning back in for another kiss – one that he thinks should be much more thorough.
All in the name of proper care, of course.
[Prompt: Kissing your partner's wounds]
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tgcg · 6 months
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TG: over hill and yonder dale the brave sir karkat rides TG: slayin dudes and coppin feels of salacious buxom brides TG: posterior pert at any sign where malignance derides TG: brave sir karkat
CG: WOW.
CG: SOMETIMES I REALLY THINK TO MYSELF THINGS CAN'T GET ANY WORSE. ALL AROUND PARADOX SPACE I HAVE SLOGGED THROUGH SOME OF THE MOST RIFE AND RANCID SHIT YOU COULD EVER BELIEVE. YOU WOULDN'T. IMAGINE!!!! SOME OF THE MOST FECULENT OF SHIT I'VE DEALT WITH. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS TAKES THE PROVERBIAL DEFECATIVE CAKE!
CG: THIS IS BY FAR, WITHOUT ANY SEMBLANCE OF FUCKING DOUBT, THE MOST EGREGIOUS, DELIRIOUS, ETHICALLY FUCKED UP "BIZNASTY" MY PISS-POOR JOKE OF "FORTUNE" HAS EVER HAD THE AUDACITY TO SITUATE ME IN.
CG: AND I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE THAT'S REALLY FUCKING SAYING SOMETHING! GRADE A WORK, STRIDER! THE CROWD GOES ABSOLUTELY MILD!
TG: his dudely bard a witness to the power of his claps TG: what claps you ask the rugged cheeks of his hellacious ass
CG: OH MY GOD, CAN YOU TALK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN MY ASSCHEEKS FOR A SINGLE SECOND?! YOUR MATERIAL IS AWFUL!
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raphs-rhapsody · 7 months
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he immediately made scarab his own ao3 account afterwards.
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clowfish · 27 days
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am I the only one who was stuck watching those eggshell peeling livestreams on tiktok that they NEVER peeled all the way
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zorosdimples · 12 days
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YUUJI X READER X CHOSO
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when choso approaches yuuji with an intimate confession and a plea for help, your best friend convinces you to give his big brother a hands-on demonstration.
mdni. reader has breasts + a vagina + is called “baby” once; otherwise referred to as they/them. this is just over 1k words. i may write additional parts, but i make no promises!
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Why did I agree to this?
Your back is pressed to your best friend’s broad chest, his tawny skin hot against your own. Bent at the knee, your legs are spread far apart, feet planted on the white bedsheets. A whimper escapes your bitten lips—a soft, fluttery exhale—half-embarrassment, half-excitement.
Discarded somewhere on Yuuji’s bedroom floor is your bra. You’re simply clad in a pair of cotton panties, plain white, nondescript. You wouldn’t call the undergarment sexy, but the bulge straining at the small of your back begs to differ; it sends a thrill down your spine.
Choso kneels between your open legs primly, wide palms clammy as they rest atop his knees. His eyes are smoked amethysts, unreadable as they pointedly remain on his brother, never straying to your face or your mostly nude figure.
“Look, Cho,” Yuuji entreats as his calloused touch moves upward from your thighs to your breasts. You swallow the breath that hitches in your throat, chest shuddering as two thick fingers pinch each of your nipples. “Touch them riiiight here—feels good, huh baby?”
Baby. (You’d rather drop dead than admit it, but you’ve pleasured yourself countless times to this fantasy, the image of your best friend calling you every endearment beneath the horizon in his honey-sweet voice.)
Wading through a syrupy fog of tension and want, you nod in agreement. Choso swallows thickly, Adam’s apple bobbing as he replaces Yuuji’s hands with his own, gaze darting to yours. His palms are larger than his younger brother’s, his ivory fingers cool and smooth as they circle your nipples.
Earnestly you suggest: “You can look at my tits, Cho.”
Yuuji chuckles at the way the older man’s cheeks ripen and bloom from your forwardness; his hands settle on your thighs, kneading the fat as he watches his brother shift his attention. Choso focuses on your chest, at the way your breasts ripple and bounce under his careful ministrations.
For the first time since he walked into the room, Choso speaks. “Is it okay if I…” he licks his lips as he trails off.
His voice is gentle and almost monotone; you’d be offended if you couldn’t see the flush that burns the tips of his ears and bleeds down to his strong chest. (The visible strain in his black boxer briefs puts your mind at ease, too.)
“Use your mouth,” you urge him with a kind smile.
It surprises you how quickly Choso dips down, the tip of his nose brushing the swell of your breast before he sticks his tongue out and paints a swirl that ends on your nipple. At first, just the peaked nub rests between his chapped lips. But he builds confidence—or curiosity gets the better of him—and you gasp as he sucks as much breast as he can fit into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks. He repeats his movements on your other breast.
When he raises his head, he leans into you, stopping a hair’s breadth from your mouth, a silent plea for permission. “Now kiss me,” you murmur; Choso obliges.
It begins chastely: your lips slotting with his and guiding the pace. He jolts at the sensation when you first slide your tongue along the seam of his lips, although he catches on quickly, allowing you entry. While his hands initially rested awkwardly on the mattress, he now moves them upward, cradling your cheeks with reverence. His kisses are sloppy and unpracticed, but you both find yourselves growing heated as your fingertips map his torso, skating lower and lower until you can twirl his thick happy trail. You whimper when he shifts and accidentally grinds against you.
Yuuji interrupts your increasingly desperate make out. “Ready to see them, Cho?”
Choso pulls away, a string of spit snapping between your parting tongues. He watches as Yuuji thumbs the top of your underwear before sliding them beneath the fabric and stroking your plush hips.
“Before you remove these, you should feel our lovely guest through the fabric.” Yuuji’s breath curls against the shell of your ear; you can’t help the moan that slips out and hangs in the air. He rests his chin atop your shoulder, his next words making you clench: “I’ve got a feeling it’s soaked.”
Eyes the color of bruised plums meet yours. Three fingers brush against the top of your panties, trailing down over your clit, stopping right at your hole. “You’re so wet,” Choso states, rubbing the sodden fabric. “All of this is because of us?”
You shiver under Choso’s fervent stare. Yuuji presses a tender kiss to your shoulder as his hands move up to caress your hair. You swallow dryly; you don’t think you’ve ever been as turned on as you are right now, pinned between the brothers’ bodies and undivided attention.
“Yeah—mmm, yes,” you manage to get out.
Pleased by your response, Choso hums. He drags a fingernail up your underwear until he teases your clit, featherlight, coaxing a warble from you. Eventually, he makes his way back to the waistband. “Can I?”
You bite your lip. “Please, Cho.”
As though savoring the moment, Choso lays down on his stomach and peels the garment off, exhaling a shaky breath as your pubic hair emerges, then groaning when your entire cunt is bared. Yuuji slides a hand down your belly and peels back your vulva, desire webbing across your folds, highlighting your swollen clit.
“Oh fuck—that’s a pretty sight,” Yuuji mutters.
His brother either doesn’t hear him or ignores him entirely; Choso looks only to you. “I’m going to taste now, okay?”
“H-hold on,” Yuuji blurts out. You twist around to look at him. His amber irises blaze as he slips his middle finger down, shallowly massaging your wet hole. “I—” he pauses, “I wanna try, too.”
His eyes never leave yours as he raises the shining digit to his mouth and proceeds to greedily lap up your arousal. “Shit,” he hisses. You think you’re going to wither under the intensity of his flaming stare. But instead—he pulls you into a bruising kiss.
Before you can process the pressure of your best friend’s lips on your own, Choso licks a line from your hole to your clit, wrapping his thick arms around your thighs, and Yuuji swallows your squeal of surprise. All rational thought floats away with your impending bliss.
You still don’t know why exactly you agreed to this arrangement. But these two brothers are going to be the death of you—of that you’re certain.
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turnipoddity · 7 months
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uhh anyway
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ineffableteeth · 4 months
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I love the idea that Crowley KNOWS how down bad he is for Aziraphale and knows Aziraphale can make him do ANYTHING with a look or tone of voice
Then in S3 it’ll finally be brought up with a “Don’t look at me like that, please don’t look at me like that”
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bakubunny · 8 months
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tattoo artist!bakugou
inspired by @heartofjasmina’s tattoo artist!bkg hc. 🧡
18+ content, mdni. you will be blocked.
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tattoo artist!bakugou seeing you walk into his shop for the first time not thinking much of you when you say you’d like to schedule a consultation with him because you like the work he’s put online. you’re suddenly questioning your decision because this man can’t be much older than you and he looks like a fucking model hiding out in a tattoo parlor, not an established artist with at least ten years under his belt.
tattoo artist!bakugou being thankful you’re separated by a counter when you show him pieces similar to what you’re thinking of: a bold but classy floral tattoo that starts at your hip and wraps over the majority of one ass cheek, curling its way up the lower back just slightly. he knows how to remain professional because it’s his job, but he can see how hard you’re blushing and his thoughts are racing. your mind is more distracted than it should be by his huge, strong hands and a gruff voice that sunk into your bones.
tattoo artist!bakugou knowing the moment the consult started that he should hand this one off to the bubbly, pink-haired artist who’d knock it out of the park just as easily as he could; he’d rather spank and grope and eat your ass than tattoo it, and he didn’t want to risk looking like a fucking tool with his dick hard while trying to lay ink into your soft, pretty skin. but fuck, you were just too damn cute, probably already soaking your panties because of him if the flush on your cheeks was any indication.
tattoo artist!bakugou trying to ignore the ever so slight way your ass pushed into his hands when he applied the stencil before you both checked the final placement for any last adjustments, but he definitely noticed. at least he could get away with staring a little bit without looking like a creep.
tattoo artist!bakugou being smart enough to put up a few partitions to give you some privacy, but stupid enough not to block off the whole shop on the books. on a fucking saturday no less, the busiest day of the week. seeing you laid in front of him in a pretty, pastel thong he wanted to rip right off your body, circumstances be damned, had him swallowing hard.
tattoo artist!bakugou, whose hands are massive and hot against your skin as he works. you’re (shamefully) already clenching and fluttering around nothing but your own arousal before he’s even finished the outline. you breathe deeply to will yourself to relax in an attempt to make it stop. (it doesn’t.) because there’s no way he doesn’t know and isn’t put off by it.
tattoo artist!bakugou, who can just barely feel you clenching under his hand as you shift more often than you should. he’s irritated that there’s a swelling ache in his groin every time, but relieved that you’re faced the other way, unable to see what’s impossible for him to hide. “quit yer fuckin’ squirmin’,” he mumbles, “‘m tryna work, here.” he’s wondering how red your face just got from him calling out your subtle movements, a smirk touching his lips.
tattoo artist!bakugou, who can see your body go rigid before your breathing slows as you try to calm your body again, and eventually it does. “‘s a good girl. just relax for me,” he says, the words slipping out like butter before he stops to think. his stomach drops because he’s a horny fucking idiot and now he’s trying to stay calm, hoping you won’t think anything of it.
tattoo artist!bakugou, who knows you must have felt something because can fucking see the wet spot on the pathetic piece of fabric you’d call panties. he can smell the scent of your arousal and fuck does he want to bury his face inside you and inhale it. “atta girl, you’re almost done.” your body is hot and aching and you’d swear if he says anything else like that, you be might too weak to stand once he’s finished.
tattoo artist!bakugou rubbing antibiotic ointment into your skin after the final pass as you swallow a groan. he hands you a mirror to see his impeccable work and you thank him. he’s wrapping the tattoo and taking off his gloves as he calmly goes over aftercare instructions when hot fingers trail across your thigh, closer and closer to your cunt.
tattoo artist!bakugou, who’s leaning into your ear, whispering, “you been thinkin’ about me this whole time, haven’t ya, sweetie? be a good girl n tell me the truth.” your face is burning with shame but of course you whisper, “yes,” your legs opening even though you know they shouldn’t.
tattoo artist!bakugou telling you to, “look at what you fuckin’ did t’me,” as he gently teases your clit, holding back a groan of his own with the soaked fabric of your thong at his thick fingertips.
tattoo artist!bakugou rubbing your eager cunt as you push into him, his other hand clamped tightly over your mouth. “maybe i’ll let ya cum for me if you’re good. better not hear a fuckin’ peep outta ya ’nless you want everyone t’know what kinda girl you really are.”
banners made by @cafekitsune.
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omenics · 8 months
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Hello! I think your Carmilla writing was really nice and was wondering if you could do a request for Alucard, where the reader was also there to help beat his father but stayed behind with him for support etc., a soft romantic relationship would be lovely.
Thank you and don't feel pressured to write this.
𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐄.
› ..tender moments with your beloved. — sorry this took so long! but here it is. written with fem reader in mind, but written as gn. lmk if i missed anything/used gendered terms for reader!
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“It’s late.”
“Vampires don’t need to sleep.” His voice was quiet. Soft. The fire roared beside him, but your night clothes were thin, and even with the flames you shivered.
“You are not a full vampire,” you stated. “You can enjoy the simple luxuries that sleep offers. Come to bed.”
Your final words came close to a plea, a beg, to which he sighed at. He could not refuse such a simple offer, especially not from you as you stood in the doorway, arms crossed as you watched him carefully. He would not hurt you, you knew this, but you watched him. You watched his slight movements and twitches, watched his chest rise and fall with shallow breaths. God, he was perfect. Even in the tranquil time of twelve o’clock with dishevelled hair and tired eyes, he was perfect.
He was silent for a while, wood crackling to fill the void.
“Okay,” he said, and he stood. The book in his pale hands shut, and his gaze lingered on the fireplace before he turned to you. His frame was illuminated in an orange light, twinkled with gold that pronounced his blond hair, and his features.
A smile played at your lips, corners twitching up as you moved towards him, taking his pale hands in yours. They were cold, or colder than most. But they were still steady, and you held them with a familiar touch. Your thumbs swiped across the back of his hands, caressing the pale skin as your eyes darted up to his. “Good.” You said, smiling. “Come, the bed had gotten cold. I will need someone to warm me,” you joked, and he let out a breath. A soft smile, different to your coy grin made its way to his face before he shook his head at you.
“Ah, I see.” Adrian mused. “You only wish for me to be a bedwarmer. How hurt am I.” You chuckled at his words, laugh quiet. Your shoulders shook slightly, and your grin grew.
“Precisely. Now come, my love. Join me.” And he did, leaving the hearth of the fire and into a cold, cold bed waiting minute by minute to be warmed by two lovesick idiots.
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pippuns · 1 year
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pre-transmigration cumplanes because they are the most divorced guys who never met
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