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#fight me but I think I will never like Christmas
ladyazulina · 5 months
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Birthday(s)
So, after my Birthday's Eve post, I thought I should do one about the birthday per se, as a minimum. But I can't really talk about my twenty-fifth birthday without sharing my perspective—not about birthdays in general, but—about my birthday. So here it comes.
I don't remember ever liking it, but that's not even fair because I don't remember most of them.
I know it was properly celebrated when I was a child, things were different then, and proof of it was in memories shared from my mom and a unsuccessfully erased pink eight-shaped silhouette of the foam sculpture that was atop my cake that year from the wall. I have grown up with that shape still carving my wall. But one thing that has always shaped my day was sadness. From different sources:
I grow up without my dad. My mom kicked him out when I was six because he was still cheating on her, and one of the first things I remember around my birthday is from one year later if I'm not mistaken (and I can be), being in this weird and unknown place with this kid almost one year younger than me that I didn't like and this woman that tried to be nice to me. My half-sister's birthday is, in fact, 28 days earlier than mine. And I've seen my dad in them. What he had left in mine was this awful feeling and a craving for ice cream, which also made me sad because it was the go-to thing to do during the scarce moments of my teen years when he came to spend time with us.
My mom did the best she could, I know that, but I still grew to be a quiet, timid, and reserved kid. It didn't go well socially for me in school, and my birthday has always been on winter break or right away the last day of exams. There was one year, after a circle of friends adopted me and did their best to take me out of my shell, that my classmates allegedly threw the Christmas party in my honor because of my fourteenth birthday. The friends ambushed me on the last day of classes and made me call my mom to have her permission to go to the sleepover in the house of one of them, I didn't want to go but didn't feel brave enough to be honest, so I went against my wishes. They dolled me up, took away my glasses, put on makeup I didn't want, (created me a Facebook account), and we went all together to the party. I didn't like the food and there were two cakes I didn't touch, one with a picture of the gang of the person giving the house, and one with "all the classmates". I hope you assumed I wasn't in either, so it was hard to believe that it was even 1/3 for me. The worst part is that my house was close to the one where the party was held, but I wasn't able to be left out to go to my house, so I had to go through the sleepover anyway. (It was 2012, I believed the world was ending on December 21st, and was mad because my lil sister was sad with me, not being able to give me the gift she chose for me.)
I don't remember when I noticed I didn't like cakes (unless they're homemade), give me ice cream instead. But I think I was adamant after that party about not wanting any birthday party for myself. Brace yourselves: the year after I had a surprise party. Yearly, we have my mother-side family gathering for Christmas, so some particular characters of the family decided to use that gathering to give me a party I vehemently said I didn't want. People not excited or interested in my birthday. Wifi cut out because my sister was mad at me for wanting to chat with my boyfriend. Three rented adult dresses to change into. Makeup to bear. Five to ten centimeters of heels to break my feet with. Lots of photos, with the one using a white dress making me look like a bride with my cousin of life seeming my spouse. Of course I smiled and feigned happiness and let them drag me in whatever, my mom asked. But I took off as soon as I was able, knowing that not even that was for me.
Goddess, that sounds kind of sad.
Two years ago, my dad decided to take me on a trip for my birthday, with all his daughters (my sisters and his other two). A tourist destination. A rented house. Three days, two nights. Walking day and night. Going to beaches. Looking and sightseeing. It wasn't a trip made for me because I don't like any of that, my half-sisters do, the planners of the trip. It was cold, the water was freezing, and we didn't have a lot of sun. I discovered my birthday was only an excuse for them to go there again, and for my dad to unload one night some of the burden eating him from inside. It wasn't nice, but I still hold onto the fact that at least the rented house was nice.
All of that made me reconsider that having a vendetta against my birthday was only making me suffer, so last year I started planning to make me look at it better.
I didn't have a lot of time to do something grand, but I asked friends and some groups I felt comfortable talking to, to do something nice for me on the day (it could have been something as little as just spending some time talking with me), because that was the important part. It wasn't a good day, but thanks to their help, it wasn't totally bad. I decided then to have a date with myself the next year.
This year. Two days ago.
I'm not sure if I said everything I wanted to say about birthdays here, it feels like a rant and some reminiscences, but I'm short of words, so I should do you a favor and just stop. The summary is that I never liked my birthday and the feeling just increased with every attempt, but I'm trying to give it a 180º for myself, and this is the second year trying.
And I'll come back soon to talk about my Birthday Spree, so don't tune off.
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wolves-in-the-world · 2 years
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possibility: tara owing sophie A Favour isn't because professional favours are an accepted thing for more than just hitters, but because tara is a grifter-with-a-side-of-hitter in much the same way that eliot's a hitter-with-a-side-of-grifter.
that makes it very fun to me that tara had eliot figured out well enough to go "do the thing with your eyes that scares people." (the grifter thing. oh, you know exactly what I mean.)
more than that - eliot looks like a hitter and wants people to assume that's all he can do; tara looks like a grifter and takes even eliot by surprise when she fights. her "please don't hurt me, good, okay, now I'm going to hurt you" play with the triad goon is the exact reverse of eliot's "look punchy, don't let them see you can do more than that" shtick, but for the exact same "underestimate me so I can prove you wrong" purpose.
and that is so neat.
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tiredsadpeach · 1 year
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Losing my fp is gonna fucking hurt but I just idk I can’t find a way this is gonna end well so I’m coming to terms with it
#it’s was a fine 4 years#the last year was already hard as fuck lmao#funny we got into a fight exactly a year ago too over him saying if you’re too sensitive don’t be on social media#I still have his Christmas present because we haven’t gotten to see eachother since#October I think is when we last met in person#just a week ago he was offering to hang out because of all the shit my mom said to me#I also have the other friend that’s involved in all of this’s Christmas gift#I was gonna mail it to him#oh well I guess#I just idk I’m so hurt#but this feels like what I’d been worried would happen ever since their obsession with each other got worse and worse#like I get it bpd does that you get obsessed believe me I know but y’all have been feeding into it with these ‘jokes’ lately and well#all the times y’all have said to each other you don’t need friend you only need me as a haha joke is gonna become true if y’all don’t get#some help and soon and like I think one of their psychiatrists said that their relationship was unhealthy and also one sided once#which unhealthy YES one sided?? nah not at all#but they both were like baffled and just didn’t believe the unhealthy part#I commented on it only saying how was it one sided because I knew if I agreed with the unhealthy part they’d both hate me lol#because believe it or not mutual obsession is not healthy lmao idc how romanticized it’s been getting it will never be healthy#I have a bf now and I strive to never be like that to him because i don’t want us to become mutually obsessed like that I don’t want us to#isolate ourselves for eachother whether knowingly or unknowingly just today he apologized because he’s been busy and I always let him know#it’s perfectly okay if he just never has time to message me one day because I know that’s healthy even if my brain is screaming#like yeah I still have intrusive thoughts I get jealous of his friends like way too jealous and I want him all to myself but I stop myself#from acting on any of those thoughts because I know it leads to a controlling abusive realtionship and I don’t want to be that he doesn’t#deserve that so it is so fucking confusing when they ‘joke’ and tell the other to delete a photo or tweet and then the other actually does#idk how they can’t see that that’s fucked#okay sorry lol but hey if y’all read the tags on the I’m so lost post and know what I did wrong please tell me because no one else will!
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cryptidhyrst · 2 years
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Working on some Sandman stuff and I realized that Dream loves so deeply (like throws his whole being into a romance that literally just started days ago; the type of guy who'd most definitely say "I love you" in a week, and the type of guy who'd try to make a paramour the regent to the Dreaming in less than a year).
All because his own parents never gave him love and affection. You can't exactly have your own ideal of what a healthy (romantic and familial) relationship looks like when your parents had a bunch of kids, but called quits on their relationship immediately after and can't stand to be in each other's presence. You also can't have the basis of what a healthy relationship looks like when your father has blatant favoritism toward your elder brother. And your mom? Somehow worse, in the regard that she heavily favors Dream and isn't bothered to keep up with her other children, much less remember the smallest details about them.
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homingpigecns · 2 months
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i have this thing where at the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend had a Girl Best Friend who was like actively manipulating me into feeling insecure abt their relationship and like a terrible person and literally trying to break us up and i was totally oblivious for months bc i baseline love and trust every woman who enters my life
anyway they stopped being friends months ago (many related nonsenses though) and i was talking to my brother who has been in on this saga from the start and i was like "do you think i'm holding onto this too much?" and my brother was like "if he changes the way he acts after you tell him at one point you have to decide not to blame him anymote" and i was like "it's not that i blame him i just remember things from the start of our relationship and it makes me really sad. like this hat, i tried to tell him i didn't really want it because i don't wear hats but he still gave it to me on our first date and it used to be hers. isn't that so-" and my brother was like "wait really? you don't want it? can i have it?" and i was like "what? i guess. i don't want it" and he was like "awesome" and then he put it on and he was still wearing when we took him to the airport to go home
it was like a tacky hello kitty hot topic baseball cap like not even cute and my brother doesn't wear hats either it was just like. i guess it seems stupid. but it meant so much to me he was just kind like that and barely made a thing abt it. i've been thinking abt it all week
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ellemj · 6 months
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Making Sure: 12 Days of Smut #3 - Sex Pollen
Bucky Barnes x Reader One-Shot
Summary: Bucky is exposed to a sex pollen while the two of you are snowed in, stuck in a cabin in the Swiss Alps after finishing up a mission. Oh, and of course, you happen to be his ex-girlfriend.
Warnings: profanity, dubcon (sex pollen), possessive!Bucky, breeding kink, unprotected sex, mutual pining of sorts, some use of y/n, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!
Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings.
Word Count: 4k
A/N: My laptop decided it didn't want to turn on today, and then when it finally turned on it didn't want to run any apps so 12 Days of Smut almost became 11 Days of Smut. But anyway, let me know if you guys like this one! For once, it doesn't involve anyone hating anyone or an obscene amount of unbearable tension (which I severely miss).
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            It’s not all that hard to work with your ex, not when you ended on decent terms. Well, as decent as they could have been. When Bucky broke up with you three months ago, it wasn’t completely out of the blue. You hadn’t been having any problems, you never had any fights, but you knew he was never as into the relationship as you were. He had said from the very beginning that he didn’t think he ever wanted a lifelong commitment. The majority of his life had been spent without having true freedom to make his own decisions. It’s safe to say the man only had about six years of making decisions for himself, between turning eighteen and joining the army. Then the army had a say in everything he did until he was taken by HYDRA. HYDRA controlled him for so long, and honestly, they still have some form of control over him if you consider his nightmares and insomnia issues. So, when things started to feel a little too serious between you two, when Bucky started to realize that he actually loved you, that’s when he called it off.
            You’d both agreed to keep the relationship between yourselves, remaining professional at work and around the others. Even Sam had never figured it out. Bucky was so good at keeping it hidden, staying completely stoic unless he was positive you were both alone. When things ended between you two, he became stoic all the time. There have been a few times where you’ve felt a bit angry with how easily he can just shut himself off and pretend like you never had anything between you. You think you might’ve been in love with him. How can you be stoic around him when you loved him? You can’t be. So, instead of being stoic, you’re just a little more quiet than usual. You get your job done, you speak to him as professionally as you can, and then you get away from him.
            Unfortunately though, there’s no getting away from him tonight. Technically, your mission is already over. You broke into HYDRA’s only remaining functional lab, you stole at least one sample of each of the various compounds that they were working on, and then you got the hell out of there. You made it all the way back to the safehouse, a small rustic cabin a little ways up in the Swiss Alps. It had been snowing for the last twenty-four hours that you’d been here, but the winter weather came to a head to today on your drive back from the break-in. By the time you got all of the samples safely inside the cabin, there was no way either of you could make the drive back down the mountain to reach the quinjet. You’re stuck here for the night.
            “I want them kept at a pretty low temperature overnight, well below thirty degrees.” Bruce has been watching you over a video call as you’ve been cataloging the samples and packing them safely into a padded case. “It’d probably be best to leave them all in the trunk of the car, since it’s so cold out there.” Bucky’s sitting in the living area while you’re working at the kitchen table, but he’s still listening in. He’s listened for the last half hour as you labeled the samples and hummed a little Christmas tune to yourself. Truthfully, he almost forgot that Christmas is in a few days until he heard you humming that song that you love so much. What was it? He can never remember the name, but he recognizes it from last Christmas. You sang it often and he was lucky enough to still be yours then, to still get the privilege of listening to you flit around the tower so festively, infecting everyone around with your cheerful spirit.
            “They all fit in the case except for one, but it should be fine. I’ll just stick it in the trunk next to the case and slip it into my bag tomorrow before we drive out.” You say, holding up the thin glass flask containing a very watery, clear liquid. It looks the least terrifying, out of all of the chemicals you retrieved from the lab today.
            “Good work today, we’ll see you guys back here tomorrow, if the weather permits.” Bruce gives a little wave before ending the video call. Just as you’re closing the heavy black case of samples, Bucky rises from his seat on the couch and joins you in the kitchen.
            “I’ll take them out.” He offers, staying a few feet away from you but at least making eye contact with you. He doesn’t seem to look at you very often since you broke up, but you can’t complain about it. It makes it a little easier to get over him when you’re not drowning in his blue eyes. You give him a curt nod before sliding the case across the table and then setting the sealed flask of clear liquid on top of it.
            “Try not to jostle them around too much, carry it with two hands.”
            “Got it, two hands.” Bucky repeats. You watch as he lifts the case, leaving the glass flask resting on the lid. You think about carrying the lone chemical out there in your own hands, worrying that Bucky might tip the case a little too far and let the flask fall to the ground outside, but you brush off the worry. He’s never been clumsy, and he sure as hell hasn’t ever been careless. It’ll be fine. It’s just a short walk from the front door to the back of the car.
            In retrospect, you should’ve listened to your instincts.
            When Bucky rushes in the front door only a minute after he’s stepped outside with the chemicals, a sickening feeling settles deep in your stomach. You quickly turn to the source of commotion as he slams the door shut behind him and starts nearly jogging across the cabin, heading straight for the bathroom at the end of the hall.
            “Bucky? What happened?” You call out, your feet carrying you down the hall after him. Bucky strips off his coat, dropping it on the floor in the hall before throwing the bathroom door open and ripping off his shirt. He doesn’t even close the bathroom door. You step over his coat and come to a stop in the doorway as he leans down and turns on the shower.
            “Stay back.” He warns, giving you a sideways glance that makes your stomach flip. “I slipped on a patch of ice and the little glass thing on top of the case fell and shattered. Whatever was in it evaporated quick, but I inhaled a lot of it. I don’t know if I got any on me.”
            Shit. This is not good. Bucky starts unbuckling his belt, but stops himself after he gets it undone, finally turning and looking you straight in the eye. Right. You’re not together anymore.
            “Only rinse, don’t use soap. We don’t know what the chemical was or what might interact with it.” You say, forcing your voice to sound calmer than you feel. Bucky nods, and then shuts the door between the two of you. Shit. You knew you should’ve carried that damn flask yourself.
---
            Half an hour later, after Bucky’s finished showering and is resting on the couch per yours and Bruce’s orders, he begins to feel something. He wanted to go to bed, just sleep it off and see how he felt in the morning, but you and Bruce insisted that he stay in the living room and awake so you could monitor him for any weird signs or symptoms. You miss the first few symptoms that Bucky begins to feel. First, his heart rate began picking up. It was so miniscule at first that even he didn’t notice it, but it increased more and more until he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Then, even in the chilly little cabin with a near-blizzard raging outside, Bucky began to feel hot. Hot to the point of wanting to take off everything he was wearing and go lay in the snow. Now he sits on the couch, breathing a little quicker than he was earlier, with beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck. It’s his increased respiratory rate that you notice first. Then, as you begin looking him over from your far away seat at the kitchen table, you see the way his cheeks are flushed and the way his dark gray t-shirt is beginning to stick to the sweat coming off of his back. Shit. Whatever it was that he was exposed to, it sure as hell wasn’t nothing.
            You’re just about to ask Bucky what he’s feeling when he abruptly stands from the couch and looks right at you, his gaze wild and pupils blown.
            “Bucky—” You start, but he cuts you off in an instant.
            “I don’t know what was in that flask, but I’ll be fine. I’m not going to sit out here all night.” Bucky’s trying to play it off. He has no fucking idea if he’ll actually be fine, but the newest physiological response his body is having to the chemical isn’t one he wants you to become aware of. He’s aroused. His cock is harder than it’s ever been, and he’d rather sleep outside on the icy road and get run over by Santa’s fucking sleigh then stay this close to you. He worries he won’t be able to control himself if he has to look at you one more time tonight, if he even hears another breath leave your lips, he’ll be done for.  
            “Bucky, tell me what you’re feeling.” You say softly, pushing your chair away from the table and standing, but not daring to move any closer to where he stands in the living room. He scrunches his eyes closed and presses his vibranium hand to the back of his neck in an attempt to cool the skin there.
            “Y/n, I’m going to bed.” He sounds so frustrated. It’s a tone of voice you actually recognize. This is how he used to sound when you’d tease him at the worst times, when you were somewhere that restricted him from being able to touch you, to fuck you.
            “Is it what I think it is?” You ask, your voice impossibly quieter than before. Bucky’s eyes snap open now and he studies you. Looking at you makes his dick throb and his balls feel so fucking full and heavy. He closes his eyes again as quickly as he opened them and then, you’re sure. It was a fucking sex pollen.
            You don’t dare make a move to stop Bucky when he hurries down the hall and locks himself in his bedroom. You stand frozen in the kitchen for the next two minutes, trying to figure out what the hell you should be doing in a situation like this. You end up doing what you do best: researching. You sit yourself right back down at the table and open your laptop, quickly accessing the online archive of SHIELD research files. You type in every word you can possibly think of to find what you need. Luckily, the first article that pops up is exactly what you needed.
            You skim through it at lightning speed, your eyes picking up on the important details. Heightened senses, increases sexual drive ten-fold, may result in permanent disability or death if state of intense arousal is not rectified. Shit, this is bad. You’re wondering how the hell one is supposed to rectify the intense arousal when your eyes land on the most key piece of information in the entire article. Human trials have revealed that allowed the specimen to engage in sexual intercourse is the only successful way to return to a normotensive physiological state.
            You have to fuck. You have to convince him to have sex with you. You have to convince the man who broke up with you three months ago to have sex with you. You’ve suddenly decided that you fucking hate your job.
            However, you’re not going to sit around while Bucky becomes permanently disabled or lets himself die of exposure to a damn HYDRA sex pollen. So, you slam your laptop shut and march right down the hall. You tap your knuckles against his bedroom door three times, until you hear the bed creak slightly, so you at least know he’s alive. He doesn’t make a single move to answer the door. He’s sitting on the side of the bed, his hands gripping the edge of the mattress so hard that it’ll probably never spring back into shape. His sense of hearing is heightened so much that he can hear every breath you take. He thinks he can even hear the sound of your eyelashes fluttering as you blink.
            “Bucky, I did some research.” God, just the sound of your voice might be enough to make him cum in his sweats. Bucky bites his bottom lip and looks down at where his erection is fighting to escape the confines of his sweats. “If this is a sex pollen, which I think we both know it is, it can kill you. The only way to fix this is to…” Your voice trails off, but you don’t have to finish your sentence for Bucky to know what the solution is here. But he won’t ask that of you. He refuses to ask you to sleep with him. He knows he broke your heart three months ago, and he’d be the world’s biggest asshole if he used you for relief now. So, he stays silent. “We could…”
            You can’t seem to finish any of your sentences. Why is it so hard for you to say we could fuck. Oh, right. Because you’ve missed the way he fucks for months. Because you know that if he wasn’t under the influence of this chemical right now, he sure as hell wouldn’t be turned on around you. You’d happily have sex with him right now, but he’d only be doing it because he has to do it to survive.
            “I know I’m probably the last person that you’d want to be offering this, but I’m offering. I don’t want you to sit in there and die.” You say softly, your voice cracking a little bit on the final word. The last person he’d want to be offering this? Fuck, you have no idea how he really feels, do you? Bucky screws his eyes shut and fights back the urge to throw the door open and tell you how much he fucking loves you, how much he’s missed you. It’s why he broke up with you in the first place. What if something happened one day that turned him right back into the Winter Soldier? What if he ended up on ice again and by the time he came out of cryo, you were dead and gone? He had to break up with you, because he felt like his future was always too unclear to promise it to someone.
            “I’m here, Bucky, if you need me.” You whisper, with your forehead pressed against the cool wood of the door. He can tell that you’re hurting for him. It’s why, against his rational mind, he finds himself crossing the room and tugging the door open. When he sees you standing there in the light of the hallway, he can hear that little Christmas tune that you love so much playing in his head. Fuck it.
            You’ve barely had a second to realize that Bucky’s just opened the door for you before you feel his hand fist in your hair and he yanks you forward against his chest. His mouth captures yours in a heated kiss. Bucky sucks your bottom lip between his and wastes no time in using his hold on your hair to tilt your head to the side and slide his tongue into your mouth. You act on muscle memory, kissing him the same way you used to every single day. You let his tongue dance around your mouth, but when he begins to pull back you suck on it lightly, earning a groan from him. He tastes just like you remember, and suddenly you want him so badly that for all you know you could have some sex pollen coursing through your veins.
            “The last person I’d want to be offering this?” Bucky rasps against your lips, briefly looking into your eyes as he repeats your words in question. “You’re the only person I’d want to be offering this.” He pulls on your hair again, tilting your head further to the side and sucking on the skin right below your ear. Your eyes close as you try to calm your racing heart, reminding yourself that as perfect as this might feel right now, it won’t last.
            It takes mere seconds for Bucky to pull you into his room and practically throw you onto his bed. When he crawls over you a second later, it’s like he’s suddenly realized you both still have your clothes on. He stands back up beside the bed and strips quickly, exposing every bit of his fucking heavenly body to you. You don’t even try to choke back the whimper that leaves your lips. Bucky freezes when he hears it. He’s heard it before. He’s heard it in his dreams, ever since you broke up. It’s sort of funny. He never had dreams before, only nightmares. Until he broke up with you, and then he started having dreams about you every night. They’ve replaced nearly every nightmare. Instead of HYDRA being the reason he’s up at night, it’s all you.
            You start shimmying out of your pants right there on the bed as you look at Bucky, too impatient to stand up and take everything off like he did. He strokes his cock slowly in one hand, but every time his palm glides over the tip he makes a face like he’s in pain. You know from your brief research that touching himself won’t give him an ounce of relief, it’ll only make things worse. So, once you have your pants off, you reach up and grab his wrist, stopping his stroking, and pulling him closer to the bed. He gets the hint and positions himself on top of you again, spreading your legs apart with his knee before settling between them.
            “I’ve missed you.” Bucky coos against the side of your neck, right as you feel the head of his cock brushing against your clit through your already soaked panties. He didn’t mean to say it. He doesn’t want to make the break up any harder for you, but fuck. He’s missed having you under him like this, though in the past you never kept your panties and shirt on when you were under him.
            “I’ve been right here.” You respond quietly, letting your hands coast down his sides until you feel the way his back muscles are rigid underneath your palms. He’s restraining himself. “Bucky, you don’t have to hold back.” He sighs deeply and grinds his cock against you, hard. It draws a moan from your lips that’s so needy, Bucky can’t wait any longer. He knows he’s only waited a minute at this point, but he just can’t anymore. He reaches down between the two of you and snags a finger in your panties, deftly pulling them to the side and guiding his cock straight into you without warning. The cry that escapes you isn’t one of pain or surprise, it’s one of pure lust. It might’ve been three months since the last time you had sex, but your body accepts his cock like it never left. There’s no pain, there’s only pleasure as he starts fucking into you slowly. He builds the pace up in mere seconds, speeding up more and more until he’s fucking you so hard and fast that the headboard is snapping against the wall and scratching the paint.
            “God, you’re still so fucking tight for me.” He groans, burying himself balls deep inside you. He stays still for a moment, letting your pussy grip his cock like a vice.
            “It’s still yours.” You whisper the words against his jawline. When his eyes snap open and stare straight into yours, you know you probably shouldn’t have said it. His pupils are already overly dilated, but they expand a little more as possessiveness flares in his chest. He always loved when you let him know who your pussy belonged to. He fucking loved it.
            Wait. The realization hits you both at the same time. He isn’t wearing a condom. As he looks into your eyes, his face falls and your eyes widen. He never once fucked you without a condom on. It was part of his whole no-long-term-commitment thing. He didn’t want to risk an unintentional pregnancy, so he never let himself fuck you raw. When he starts to pull out, you’re quick to wrap your legs around him and lock him in place.
            “Don’t.” You plead. You want this. You’ve always wanted this. Bucky bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes, trying to find a single rational thought in his mind. He knows he shouldn’t do this, he knows he should pull out and find a fucking condom. But will he?
             The answer is no. He uses what little space you give him between your legs to start thrusting into you again, slower this time, but still every bit as deep as before.
            “If you don’t let me pull out…” He starts, but you pull his face down to yours and silence him with a kiss. After a few seconds, he picks up his pace and begins fucking you relentlessly once again, further ruining the paintjob on the bedroom wall behind the headboard.
            “I always wanted you to fuck me like this.” You sigh against his lips. You feel Bucky’s entire body tense up as he nears his release, your words egging him on.
            “Oh, baby, I always wanted to fuck you like this.” He admits, snapping his hips into yours and getting you that much closer to the edge. As your orgasm threatens to tear through you, something weighs heavy on Bucky’s mind. He wants to cum inside you. He loves you but he’s always told himself he can’t have you, because his future is so unclear, he can’t make promises to you and possibly break them. But…he’s a good guy. If he were to knock you up, he’d do the right thing. The traditional thing. He’d marry you and take such good care of you, of the little family you’d have together. Maybe that’s what he should do. He thinks that maybe if he gets you pregnant right now, it would force him to give you his future, no matter how much it scares him. He’d be so much more concerned with doing the right thing in the present, rather than worrying about what might happen in the future. “Let me cum inside you.”
            “You can, Bucky. You can cum inside me.” You moan out, locking your ankles together behind him and pulling him harder against you. He groans and presses another kiss to your lips, but a gentler one this time.
            “You’ll have a baby for me.” He doesn’t even phrase it as a question, no, he’s telling you what you’ll do. “You’ll let me get you pregnant, and then you’ll be mine.”
            “Fuck…” The curse falls from your lips as bliss surges through you. You can’t even find the words to say what you want to say, which is fuck yes. So, you lay there submissively, with your legs wrapped around him as he fucks every drop of cum that he has into you. Then, you catch your breath while he pulls his cock out of you and slides your panties back over your sore cunt. You even let him pile the pillows beneath your hips and legs, elevating your pelvis to make sure his cum won’t drip back out of you.
            Fuck. He really wants to make sure you’re pregnant after this.
TAG LIST (if your user has a line through it, Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you):
@gyokujyn @mrsjoequinn @thealloveru2 @nixxaswrld @ordelixx @sweettae02 @frombkjar @hellfirebabe @edelweissbarnes @sunnyhummingbee @jenniferpendragon @siciliano13 @crist1216  @twlkdead
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amomentsescape · 5 months
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Hey I love yanderes and slashers and used to have a sleep walking problem where I would try to crawl through windows, can you do a yandere slasher x reader where the reader has developed Stockholm syndrome and been loving to the slasher so they trust them and let them have more freedom. Then they see them try to crawl out a window in their sleep? How would they react? Would they believe the reader? What would make them believe them if they didn't? If they didn't believe them the how would they react to finding out the reader told the truth?
Thank you so much! And merry Christmas! 🎄 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅
Slashers with Reader Who Sleepwalks & Tries to Leave
Yandere! Slashers x Reader (Separate)
Warnings: Yandere behavior, of course. Mentions of abusive behavior
A/N: Merry (late) Christmas! I hope you all had a great holiday! For this request, I decided to leave Eric out. He's just the complete opposite to a Yandere in my opinion, and it was nearly impossible for me to write him as such. I hope that's okay!
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Freddy Krueger
He knows you would never purposefully leave him
Like, he actually knows
His (undead) life revolves around sleep
He knows when you're awake and where you're actually sleeping, even if he keeps you stuck in his dream world
So when he finds you trying to escape out of the little window he built for you, he just laughs
He had already known you sleep walked
He'd been haunting your dreams for weeks prior to actually taking you
Freddy just keeps watching you, not really doing anything about it
You're stuck in his world either way
Might as well see how far you'll go
He'll almost use this as a test of sorts
He'll let you wander to wherever you want to go in your sleep, and he may even change the environment to something you don't recognize
When you wake up, his name better be the first thing that falls from your lips
If it's not...
Well, he'll just have to try harder at getting you to need him
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Michael Myers
It took a very long time for Michael to get to this point
The fact that he lets you sleep without chains is a huge decision on his part
He doesn't trust easily
And any feelings of trust he did have come crumbling down the moment he wakes up without you beside him
It didn't take long to find you
There you were, pushing and prodding at the boarded up window
He's truly pissed
And a little hurt
He really thought you were growing to actually like your situation
But when he spins you around and sees your eyes staring blankly through him, he tilts his head
You don't seem... right?
He'll shake you harshly until he sees the life come back to your eyes
When you finally look up at him with a similarly confused look on your face, he starts to realize
He understands you well enough to know when you're not acting like yourself
When he finally explains what you were doing after you repeatedly asked him, you sigh
You explain that sometimes at night, you wander around without realizing it
A sleepwalker, huh?
Sadly, the chains will need to come out again
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Jason Voorhees
You wouldn't actually leave him, right?
You seemed so caring
He actually believed you when you said you needed him
But here you were, trying to leave your shared home in the middle of the night
He almost breaks down as he picks you up and takes you back to your room
He finds it a bit odd that you don't fight back at all, but he assumes you just don't care to
He locks you up and makes sure that you can't go anywhere
How could you do this to him?
When you wake up the next morning in chains and not in your shared bed, you begin to cry for Jason
He tries to ignore you, but he can't bring himself to hear your sad voice calling out to him
You try your best to tell him that you don't remember what happened, and that you would never leave him
And maybe he's too trusting, but he believes you
You just seem so sad and so genuine that it's impossible for him to think it's anything other than honesty
You couldn't be that stupid anyways
You'd get lost in those woods alone at night, he knows that
So he just has to believe you
He loves you, and love means trust, right?
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Thomas Hewitt
But you were being so sweet to him just hours before
How could you lie to his face like that?
He wakes up without you in his arms, and he just about loses it
Frantically searches for you around the house and finally finds you at one of the nailed in windows
He pulls you away quickly, staring at you sadly
He's waiting for an explanation, but you don't say anything
You just stare
You weren't acting like yourself
He pushes you back towards the bedroom and you walk the rest of the way yourself, climbing back into bed with ease
He's confused, but decides to see if it will happen again
You can't leave anyways
The whole house is locked up, and you don't even know where the keys are
You act just like your normal self the next day
And that night, you're back to walking around with a blank stare
He figures this just might be a thing you do
Doesn't really try to stop you, but he does follow you most nights to make sure you don't accidentally hurt yourself
On nights he wants you in bed, he ties some old fabric around your ankle and holds you tight while you sleep
You might not ever know about your late night adventures unless he decides to tell you
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Bubba Sawyer
He's quite literally blubbering to you
He's crying, he's frantic, he even shakes you a bit, and you just stand there not responding
He keeps waiting, and when you start to just wander around again, he loses it
What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?
He ties you back into bed and stays up the rest of the night, watching you
The next morning, he confronts you stressfully
You keep telling him over and over that you don't know what he's talking about
But he refuses to believe you
(He wants to believe you, he's just scared)
He only finally realizes you were being honest when in the middle of the day during your nap, he finds you wandering back to the window with his whole family watching you
You weren't stupid
Why would you try to leave when literally everyone could see you in broad daylight?
His family begins laughing and saying things like "looks like you got yourself a sleepwalker"
So you weren't purposefully trying to leave him?
He cries tears of joy and spends the next couple of days pampering you and giving you just about everything you want
He does his best to show you that he's sorry
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Brahms Heelshire
It's quite literally known that Brahms has abandonment issues at this point
So when he catches you climbing up onto the window sill
He loses it
Will grab you and roughly pull you off, your body falling to the ground
This immediately wakes you up, your eyes searching around frantically
When you see Brahms standing above you, you try to reach for him, but he only shoves you away
You look so sad and confused at this, but Brahms is too stubborn to give in
He starts tying you up again each night, still very hurt that you would try to leave like that
It takes weeks for you to gain his trust again
And the one night he lets you sleep freely, he catches you by the window again
But instead of grabbing you immediately, he decides to just watch
He wants to see how far you'll go so he knows just how severe your punishment will need to be
But instead, you just give up on unlocking the window (it was jammed), and you just turn around and walk straight back to bed, not even registering Brahms being right there
This is odd
You need to explain the concept of sleepwalking to him the next day
He still remains skeptical for a while, but he'll come around
You just need to be extra attentive for a while...
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Norman Bates
Norman already knows a lot about sleepwalking
(It's what he thought was going on for a while when he couldn't remember large chunks of time throughout the week)
When he finds you opening a window in the middle of the night, he bolts at you, ready to lock you back up in one of the motel rooms again
However, when you don't respond or reveal any emotion on your face, he immediately knows what's going on
He's surprised
He didn't know you'd be a sleepwalker
He decides to just lead you back to bed, knowing that waking you isn't the best idea
Sits you down the next morning and talks with you about it
When you seem very apologetic, he uses it to his advantage
Has you cuddle up with him even more than normal and stay by his side at all hours of the day
He still gives you some freedom
But he's always watching
He does take some precautions and ties your wrist up in the middle of the night
He has to, for your safety of course
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Billy Loomis
To be honest, you don't make it very far
Billy has an iron grip on you at all times, and he's a light sleeper
The moment you get up, he's awake, observing you carefully
Sometimes you have to pee in the middle of the night, but he still makes sure you aren't lying to him
His ability to trust is practically in the ground
The moment you turn the wrong way, he's up and chasing after you
Were you that dumb? You knew he watched you every time you got up from bed
He grabs your wrist quickly and points a knife at your throat as a threat
He can't bring himself to actually hurt you though, not that you knew that
Or did you?
Because you just stand there not even moving away from the blade
Billy becomes very confused
He takes his hand and begins to wake it in front of your face, looking for some sort of reaction
You don't give him one
Are you still... asleep?
He shakes you a bit until you finally look at him, confusion written all over your face
You're a sleepwalker, aren't you?
He just rolls his eyes annoyed and drags you back to bed, not explaining anything
Just another thing he needs to look out for now
You sometimes wake up to bruises on your hips and waist from how hard Billy holds you in the night, but he's just trying to protect you, right?
He doesn't mean to hurt you, he just refuses to lose another person in his life
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Stu Macher
Stu literally sleeps on you, so it's nearly impossible for you to leave the bed most nights
But if you somehow wiggle your way out, you wouldn't make it outside the house
The windows have been nailed so that they only open a small amount
When he finds you the next morning, curled up under a partially opened window, he just smiles
Call it naive, but he just assumes you were getting too warm in the bed
When you wake up in a confused state however, he becomes concerned
What do you mean you don't remember opening that window?
He honestly just becomes more worried that there's something wrong with your memory rather than you trying to leave him
He'll likely talk to Billy about it
He just hears laughter from the other end of the phone
"Sounds like they sleep walk," he'd say
Stu does a bunch of research on it later
He doesn't really mind though
All of the unsafe objects are already hidden away, and every possible exit is locked down
You aren't going anywhere
If anything, he finds it fun to wake up some mornings and look around for you
It's like a game, and Stu loves games
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Happy insert holiday
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lazyjellyfish300 · 5 months
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Mom and Dad are fighting on Christmas 🎄⛄🖤
Miguel O'Hara x wife reader
TW: MINORS DNI, angst, relationship and marriage troubles, fighting, insecurity, jealousy, postpartum, talk of divorce, mild smut at the end (p in v, idk to me it's mild, I've seen worse) word count 3.3k
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Credit to the gif owner keezinemugstudent! 🙏🏽
Synopsis: your marriage to Miguel is on the brink of collapse. He wakes up and tries to fix it on Christmas. Jerry Maguire inspired. 😁
Valentine's Day spinoff sequel
Mother's Day ending blurb
I tried to write something angsty. Hope everyone had/is having a good holiday season! ⛄
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Miguel's in the doghouse and he knows it. You requested a separation after you reached your limit. The kids were sick in the weeks following Thanksgiving and before Christmas and he spent the whole time working late and coming home at suspicious hours in the morning, leaving you drowning. You and the kids were piled in yours and Miguel's bed when you'd hear him come home, the front door closing and his familiar footfalls dredging down the hall, pausing only at the fridge before passing out on the couch. Oh you hated him right now. The resentment had creeped in and poisoned the marriage inside and out when he became exceedingly obsessed with work.
Protecting the stability of the multiverse was a huge undertaking, but, like all things in his life, Miguel took it to the next level. But when it came to his personal life, he was grievously lacking. The passion where you two would do it twice a day and couldn't keep your hands out of each other's pants? Ancient history. The small pecks you'd trade in the mornings were a thing of the past. Gone were the days you two would text all day and go out for dates. You didn't so much as get an "on my way home" text, instead letting the sound of his car pulling in the driveway be your confirmation of his return. You two were more roomates at this point than husband and wife.
Traditionally, on Christmas Eve after the kids went to bed, you two would take that time for each other, eating the cookies for Santa that were conveniently your favorite kind, placing the presents you two carefully shopped for and wrapped (well, mostly you wrapped), under the tree. A hysterical giggle would escape your lips at the milk mustache on Miguel's face. Then you'd two get busy on the floor in front of the fireplace, fighting back laughter as you tried to keep your moans down, every year struggling a little bit more than before because your knees weren't what they used to be before taking it to your bedroom for one more round before the chaos of Christmas morning began.
He was perfect in the beginning. The romance between you two used to be at an all time high. He was a nerd in the same friend circle when you knew him in high school, wickedly smart, the guy who won the Robotics and Math Olympiad comps and got visits from Ivy League college STEM departments, eager to scoop up his talent. Sure, he was cute, but when he went to college is when you heard he had a major glow up and became kind of cocky. You heard about how he became Spider-Man and was pretty much the greatest thing since sliced bread in the eyes of the people, saving lives and fighting villains and all. You knew how the opposite gender seemed to malfunction and forget how to act around him, so you stifled away your tiny crush you had on him for years in the smallest crevice in your brain in a forgotten folder, never thinking it'd see the light of day.
When you saw him at your high school reunion, you decided to be brave and remark on how they're playing Nickelback, which he shrugged and said he actually enjoyed them, to which you sheepishly admitted that you really enjoyed them deep down too, you just couldn't resist making yourself the person to talk shit, since there's always gotta be one hater when Nickelback comes on. A canon event, if you will. This earned a tiny side smile from him, a chink in his stoic armor. After 8 beers, some flirty jests, and a little backseat rendezvous in his car, that became the last night that you two spent apart.
You were a single mom and he was a single dad. He had Gabi who was now 10 and you had Marcus who was now 6. Then you two had little Anthony together who was now 2. At first he was at all the doctors appointments, all the parent teacher conferences, he knew what the kids were doing in school. He did bed times every night, reading in a silly voice with Gabi and Marcus both balancing on his lap while you rocked baby Anthony, smiling when you heard the kids giggling from the other room. You'd walk in after baby Anthony fell asleep in his crib, your heart melting as you saw this handsome giant of a man usually known to be cold and serious to everyone else, turn into the doting husband and loving father you knew him to be. Now, years of the monotony of every day life, pressures of raising a family, and the dying egalitarian attitude you two had as partners snowballed into your own version of Gottman's four horses, leading your marriage to Miguel into apocalypse.
At first, he welcomed the separation as you two battled in the kitchen.
"You wanna separation, fine, I'll do you one better. I'll fucking leave! Felicia's better company anyway," he smirked.
There wasn't real truth behind his statement, but he knew it would hurt you when you heard it. He'd be lying if he said Felicia wasn't an attractive woman, but, she simply wasn't you. He had learned his lesson on cheating years ago when he fumbled his relationship with Gabi's mother.
Ouch. But his words could be daggers when he wanted them to be, and he knew just how to twist them into you. Of course it was Felicia. Felicia, the gorgeous Black Cat recruit from work. Her silvery hair that halted midway down her back and startling blue eyes that could drown any man in them. She didn't have kids either, a life with her promised excitement, passion, and freedom. She was witty and funny and had a way of making anyone in her vicinity listen when she spoke. And to add insult to injury, she had a killer body.
After giving birth, you became so busy, and with reassurance from Miguel that you were still beautiful to him, you let your desire to get your body to "snap back" sit on the back burner. Signs of motherhood and postpartum marked you with purple stripes running vertical on your soft belly and a new plushness to your thighs. Basically, Felicia was a complete 180 from the woman you were, which made the sting of his words that much more unbearable. He took your vulnerabilities and threw them in your face.
"Oh so you admit it, finally! I know there was something going on between you two. Makes sense. She's a gorgeous woman, right? She can fucking have you then. What, are you in love with her?"
Miguel rolled his eyes, annoyed with the superficialness of your statement and your obsession with looks, despite him reassuring you many times that he wouldn't look at other women.
"I'm not in love with her, but she doesn't nag me all the fucking time like you do. I bust my ass every day for this family so you don't have to work. I don't know who this new woman is that I'm looking at right now and what she's done with my wife, but it's not the woman I fell in love with. It would be nice if you could show me a little appreciation once in a while."
You felt your blood pressure rise.
"Appreciation.... APPRECIATION, are you fucking kidding me?! I was up all goddamn night with Gabi and Marcus. I run this fucking household all by myself. I quit my fucking career to stay home and raise your kids. Do you not understand how lonely that is?"
"I'M LONELY!!! " he yells, triggered, the feelings bottled up, fizzed over and hurtled at you like a cork on a champagne bottle. "How do you think I feel? I got women at work practically throwing themselves at me but I don't do anything about it because I'm a good husband. Meanwhile, my own wife doesn't wanna fuck me. I'm a prisoner in my own fucking house."
Your eyes almost slipped from their sockets from rolling them so hard. He seemed to want a cookie and a gold star for just being loyal, the bare minimum.
"Oh, so you wanna fuck them? Go ahead! Maybe I'd fuck you if you actually gave a shit about me and not like I'm some damn fleshlight you use to get off!" You hurl back.
He left and checked into a hotel down the street.
A few weeks had passed and it was now Christmas. You were getting used to being separated but your heart still ached in your chest. You couldn't go on doing life, when the one person you did life with was nowhere to be found. You couldn't listen to your favorite songs, eat your favorite foods, or even look at your own children without being reminded of him. Gabi was his spitting image. Same with Anthony. Even Marcus, who was his stepson, started adopting Miguel's mannerisms. The way he'd scratch his head while he did his math homework, deep in concentration.
It was Christmas evening at your mom's. You joined the other women in your family, your non-politically correct Aunt, your soft spoken sister-in-law, your mother with a don't-try-me attitude, and your younger sister with a sass to rival your mother's. You were all complaining about the men in your lives, your aunt rattling off about her 3 ex husbands but, 'hey she collects alimony from two of them so she can't complain!', your younger sister complaining about the frat guys at college who just wanna get in your pants, your sister in law who's silent the whole time (your brother treats her like a queen), and your mom about your asshole dad with an erratic mother who was incapable of cutting the apron strings and made her life a living hell. The kids are laughing and playing in the basement, eagerly trying out their new Nintendo Switch Santa left under the tree.
"I'm here for my wife."
Your feminine council meeting is interrupted by an unwelcome masculine figure. It's your estranged husband, Miguel, the coffee-colored strands of hair that hung over his forehead starting to wet from the snowflakes that melted under the warmth of the room as he stepped inside, a look of regret and longing embedded in his eyes that you hadn't seen since your earliest days of knowing him.
His strong hands dangled at his sides in fists, his chest heaving up and down. His navy blazer bearing dark water stains from the melted snow. He had a revelation at work. He and Peter B. stopped an anomaly that was terrorizing the streets of Queens in Peter's universe. The battle was close, almost a little too close to where he lived, putting MJ and Mayday in direct danger. After the job was done, the moving and emotional reunion between Peter B., MJ, and Mayday was his epiphany.
As the little family reveled in their joy and relief of evading the ultimate disaster, the only thing there for Miguel at the point of his return was the inanimate, empty, thin walls of his apartment and the thoughts of you, his severed family, that inevitably haunted him. He needed you back. He needed to apologize and fix it now.
He ran from your house to your mom's in the snow and all. It was the first Christmas Eve he spent not in between your thighs and buried deep inside you. It was the first Christmas morning he didn't wake up to Gabi's blueberry pancakes and Marcus tackling him while Anthony screamed in delight. It was going to be the first Christmas night without his family by his side, an uncomfortably obvious empty seat at the table he rightfully belonged. Next to you.
Sometimes you don't know the value of something until it's gone. Sometimes life gets in the way and you forget to appreciate the person in front of you. Why did I treat my wife like garbage when all she ever wanted was for me to ask how her day was? Why were we on our way to winding up like both sets of our parents? Doomed to repeat the cycle of divorce and hurt. Doomed to lose your faith in love and marriage like all the maternal figures in your family before you did.
Now here he was, in the living room while your mom, sister, and aunt moved towards each other, eyes squinting, three pitbulls willing to jump in on your behalf while your sister in law just stayed frozen in place. He was in enemy territory and he needed to choose his words carefully.
"Not here Miguel..."
"YES here. Right now." He says in a firm voice. "You're not getting rid of me, woman."
You scoff, almost amused by his sudden urgency and painting you like you're the one who wanted this family to be broken apart.
"The kids are downstairs..." you start to say, hoping that the mention that innocent ears could be prying into the adult conversation would help him simmer down.
"I'll see them in a minute." He says flatly.
"I miss my wife...."-he chokes on the last word, wife.
"And I want her to come home." He knew at any time his words would give way to the reservoir of tears built up behind it.
You stood there, incredulous.
"I don't want to come home to an empty apartment. I don't want my own bed. I'm ashamed it took me losing you and the kids for me to wake up. And, I'm so so sorry. I'll do whatever I can to be better. To be a better man for you and the husband that you needed. We both got caught up in real life and focused on the kids so much that we lost each other. Well, this is me trying to find my way back."
Your lips parted slightly as your breathing became heavier. This was all you ever wanted to hear him say. Stop neglecting the love between you two that laid dormant, a plant starved of sunshine. For him to finally shake off the stubborn shackles that was his ego and express himself to you. Let him allow you back into his heart, no longer as a guest, but a permanent resident.
"You're... you're everything to me. And I'm not leaving here tonight until you let me know if you'd allow me the opportunity to get hurt by you again," a tear rolled down his cheek, his scarlet eyes yearning, his hands pining for the feel of you. As though the madness of not having you alone could stop his heart from beating, stop his world from turning, rearrange life as he knew it into a hollow existence not worth seeing.
Your own reservoir could not be held back any longer and started to roll down your cheeks. He managed to peel back the walls you built with his apology, revealing the woman underneath who just missed her husband.
He steps closer to you now, eager to bridge the rest of the space between your bodies.
"You still love me?" he asked softly.
Your chest heaves, shoulders raising then falling sharply, feeling yourself crack with exasperation under his burning gaze as you softly answer,
"Never stopped."
He grabs you and pulls you into him, his embrace is tight as though you'd disappear if he dared to break it. He tangles a hand in your hair and presses his cheek into your head, his eyes closed, drinking in the scent he'd been away from for weeks. You bury your face in his chest, trying to make yourself small and allowing his frame to swallow you whole, not minding his wet shirt and blazer that still have a slight chill on them from the storm outside, allowing your body heat to seep into his. You both began to rock back and forth a little bit, still locked inside your hug. It was as though the passing of time had evaporated and it was only you two in the room, nevermind your family witnessed the whole thing.
After several long moments, you pull apart and he offers you one of his dazzling smiles, one you hadn't seen in months. The kids have made their way upstairs and shriek with excitement when they see their dad and Miguel bends down to scoop them up. You smile and stand beside your mom who scoops you into a side hug. With her blessing, Miguel stays and celebrates the rest of Christmas with you and your family.
Gabi, Marcus, and Anthony are now all tucked in. The sugar from the chocolate they consumed all day had worn off, making them crash hard in their beds. You and Miguel are cuddled up on the couch watching the fireplace, taking some needed time as a couple. You stroke his strong arms that are wrapped around you with your fingertips, watching the way the flames leap and spark in the air when they crackle against the charred wood. You look up at him and feel a wave of desire wash over you that you had pent up for months as you study his chiseled features and the way the fire's glow highlights his skin.
"Should we end this Christmas with a bang?" You ask, pun fully intended.
Miguel looks at you tiredly, trying to act like that wasn't a witty remark but he lets out a chuckle. "I'd love to," he whispers.
He takes both your cheeks in his large hands and brings his lips to you immediately. They're soft and full. You feel yourself melting into him every time he sandwiches yours in between them. He reclines you backwards, slowly, until he's on top of you. He lets the weight of his body and hips come down on you little by little, making you arch your back, so your body can better receive him.
Once he lets you taste his tongue, you open your mouth wider, permitting him to deepen the kiss, tossing kindle onto the growing flame between you two, and it's not the one in your fireplace. You take your turn to dial up the heat, seizing his bottom lip in a gentle nip from your teeth, earning a low groan from Miguel and a tightened grip on your hair.
As you continue your steamy makeout session, he begins to hump gently against your clothed body, a nonverbal plea for the wet friction only the inside of you can provide.
After your frantic hands strip each other of your clothes, you've transitioned so you're straddling him in the lotus position, goosebumps popping up all over your skin as your bare body meets his, a high pitched gasp escaping you as you sink down onto him, his mouth falling open and his eyes shutting closed as he breathes in your ear,
"God, I missed you, baby."
You whine into his neck as you coil your fists in his hair. His hands fly to the soft flesh of your sides, using them to move you up and down, his haggard breaths making you weaker and weaker by the minute. You hum,
"I missed you even more."
The next move of his hips is harder than you anticipated, causing your brain to go fuzzy with pleasure.
"How much?" he exhales in a sultry tone.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you all week,"your tone turning into pleading as you feel yourself approaching your limit.
Miguel can't help but feel himself lose his mind a little bit at your words and at your reaction, sensing you won't be able to hold on much longer.
He lays you down, while still keeping himself inside. He slows down to a more sensual pace, breathing in the sight of your wild hair clinging to the couch cushions, evidence of him hitting you in all the right spots every time the inner corners of your eyebrows squinch upwards and your lips fall open.
His loving eyes burn with worship of your body and how well you're doing as he runs a thumb along your chin then pulls down your bottom lip, leans in and mumbles quietly into your mouth,
"Merry Christmas, Mrs. O'Hara."
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🖤
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smileysuh · 6 months
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christmas puppy
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🌙 staring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “God, you’re so jealous,” you laugh. Your best friend’s brother doesn’t usually act this way, at his frat, everyone knows you’re his, no one would dare come near you- but here, in your hometown, surrounded by past crushes and would be romancables, it’s open season, and it’s clear that it’s making Jaehyun uncomfortable.
tw/cw. multiple sex scenes, airplane sex, best friend's brother Jae touching reader while his sister is drunk/asleep next to them, fingering, multiple orgasms, phone sex, dirty talk, praise, slight stalking/use of snapmaps to obsess over a crush, jealousy, unprotected sex, Jae is a munch, sibling antics, 'loser' jae, exhibitionism, directed masturbation, etc… I pet names: (hers) angel. (his) puppy.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 11k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, best friend's brother Jae, boy next door Jae, Christmas, secret romance, established relationship, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. It's the way I'm kind of in love with him, he's so stupidly soft
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Prologue
“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” you groan as your best friend’s brother slips his hand under your shirt, pressing you tighter against the door of his frathouse bedroom.
“You’re right,” Jaehyun concedes, but his lips continue their fevered pace against your throat, and his thumb brushes by your nipple, making you moan louder.
“Your sister-”
“Never has to know,” he finishes for you.
He pinches your nipple gently and it has you whining, your panties growing wetter by the second. But it’s only a brief distraction before your mind is spinning again. “We need to stop,” you say, but in the same sentence, you reach between your bodies to palm Jaehyun’s cock through his jeans.
“We can stop,” Jaehyun nods, finally pulling away from your neck to look you in the eyes. “Tell me to stop.”
You stare at the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. The man you grew up with. The older brother of your best friend, the boy next door. He’d been at the center of all your fantasies in high school- but you’d never thought you’d actually end up in this situation with him… repeatedly. 
You can’t say no, and you both know it.
Jaehyun smirks, a pretty dimple on display, and then he’s smashing his lips to yours. His hands wrap around your waist, and he tosses you onto his bed. By the time he’s kissed down your body and lifted up your skirt, all your objections have dissipated from your mind.
There’s only you and Jaehyun, and right now, that’s all that matters.
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One
“I’m literally dying to see you,” Nari grins the moment you open Facetime.
You laugh, setting your textbook aside. “You’re seeing me now.”
“Don’t be like that,” Nari rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Christmas! Just a few more exams, and by this time two weeks from now, we’ll be making cookies and Christmas shopping and watching movies and hitting on cute boys at the skating rink-”
You smile at the thought, although your heart picks up speed at the mention of boys.
“I hear Mark Lee is going to be home for Christmas, and so is his cousin Jeno- I’m thinking, if we play our cards right, maybe we can swing a double date, or we could invite them to my family Christmas party and see what happens under the mistletoe!” Nari continues.   
“Are you still crushing on Mark?” you laugh, shocked that her infatuation with her old high school crush is still alive and well despite going to a different uni than the resident hockey prodigy.
“Of course!” Nari’s expression falls. “Wait, aren’t you still into Jeno?”
“Honestly?” You take a deep breath. “We’ve done a whole term at our new universities, and I feel like it would be better for me to find someone here. Long distance isn’t my thing.”
“Well, in that case… I suppose I can talk to my brother and have him set you up with one of his frat friends,” - the thought of Jaehyun setting you up with anyone other than himself is almost comical, and you have to fight the laugh that bubbles inside of you - “actually, that brings me to the reason I called! I know you and Jae were going to leave to fly home around the same time, but it turns out you booked the same flight- what are the odds huh?”
Your heart skips a beat again. You hadn’t thought much of telling Jaehyun your flight time three nights ago after he’d fucked you stupid- hadn’t realized there might be an ulterior motive to his question. 
Of course he’d get the same flight as you.
You’ve been sleeping together for just over two months now, and the fratboy always has a way of ending up in the same room as you- although, he’d been using Snapchat maps to do it originally. 
The man is obsessed- and you kind of love it.
You’d mentioned wanting to join the mile-high club to him the fourth time you’d hooked up, when you’d discussed sex bucket lists, but you’d never imagined he would remember it- or try to put it into practice.
“Anyways, I know you two aren’t close,” Nari explains, “but I thought you might want to coordinate with him, and when you land, I can pick you both up from the airport, save your mom a trip.”
You swallow thickly before nodding. “That would be nice.” 
It would be nice… but it won’t be easy.
You’re shocked you’ve even kept your little secret this long, and you’re dreading what it will be like once you’re in person with your best friend. Hiding the fact that you’re fucking her brother while at uni with him is one thing, doing it in front of Nari will be another. 
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Two
“I know what’s making you tense,” Jaehyun says, pulling his face from between your thighs and straightening to stare down at you.
“Exam season?” you suggest, mind half occupied with the final you have tomorrow.
“You’ve had big tests before and it’s never taken this long to make you cum,” Jaehyun scoffs. “Not that I mind, of course,” he leans down to press a quick kiss to your lips, adjusting on top of you while his cock slides between your wet pussy lips, teasing you. “You’re worried about seeing Nari.”
“Are you seriously going to talk about her while you put your cock in me?” you laugh, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.
“I’m not inside you yet,” he grins, pausing his grinding movements. 
“And I hate that you’re not,” you groan, your core still throbbing from the orgasm he’d just given you with his tongue.
“Be for real with me for a moment,” Jaehyun urges, leaning down to press his lips to your throat. “Is it really the worst thing in the world if Nari finds out about us?”
“Puppy-”
“It’s been two months. We’ve been fucking for two months, angel. I know you don’t like to use official terms but come on… you know what we are to each other. Isn’t Christmas the best time to tell everyone?”
“Tell them what? That we’re fucking?”
“Don’t make me use the G word, because I will,” he warns.
“The G word?” you fake innocence.
With a low groan, Jaehyun pushes his cock into you. “Christmas is the best time to tell everyone that you’re my girlfriend.”
“Is that what I am?” you tease, although your stomach erupts in butterflies at the notion. 
Jaehyun tangles his fingers with yours, pressing them against the pillows while he begins to thrust into you. “Uh huh.”
“You’re so soft, puppy.”
“I’m actually really hard,” he smirks, looking down at you with mischievous eyes. “No one makes me hard like you do.”
You laugh. “How romantic.”
“Look-” he swallows thickly, holding your hands tighter while rutting into you, “we’re flying home together- Nari might guess it even if we don’t tell her.”
“If you look at me the way you’re looking at me right now, it will be kind of obvious,” you admit. 
Jaehyun has taken to staring at you like a lovesick puppy, and your new uni friends are the first ones who pointed it out to you. At the time, you’d assumed they were being crazy- when you’d first started fucking Jaehyun, you’d thought he’d always just be your best friend’s hot older brother. You’d had no way of ever anticipating that he’d fall for you as hard as he has.
“So we should just tell her,” Jaehyun suggests.
“What if I want to keep you as my dirty little secret?” you sigh. “Just for a bit longer.”
You can feel his hot breath against your face, can see that he’s not happy with the idea, but he nods anyway. “Whatever you want, angel.”
“Thank you, puppy.”
Lifting your head off the pillows, you press your lips to Jaehyun’s, and that’s the last you have to say on the matter before getting lost in him.
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Three
“Fuck, angel,” Jaehyun groans, digging his fingers into your thighs while your panting and muffled moans fill the small airplane bathroom, “I don’t know how I’m going to go five days without this.”
You can only groan against his palm, eyes rolling into the back of your head while he fucks you harder. Your own fingers work your clit, and your pussy is clinging desperately to his cock.
You’re already on the edge- Jae had been teasing you under your blanket at your seats, and the exhibitionism of this whole situation has your heart racing a million beats a minute. 
“I’m sure we can find some time for a few quickies, right?” Jaehyun asks, and you can hear the desperation in his voice. “My sister isn’t going to hog you the whole time-”
You open your eyes, giving Jaehyun a warning look. It’s cute that he’s so worried about his sister- but you hate when he brings her up while balls deep inside your wet pussy- your orgasm so close you can almost taste it-
“Fuck, yeah, you’re right- shit,” Jaehyun gives his head a small shake. “We’ll make this work,” he insists, taking his hand from your mouth so he can crash his lips to your own, fucking you even harder.
It’s a wonder that the whole airplane isn’t rocking with the intensity of his thrusts, and you nearly have a heart attack when the plane hits turbulence just as you both cum.
You cling to each other, shaking with emotion as the small bathroom jolts and rumbles.
The plane steadies out and Jaehyun smiles into your kiss, laughing a little at the way you’d both reacted.
“We should get back to our seats,” he whispers.
“You go out first, I’ll be there in a sec,” you nod, allowing him to help you back onto your feet.
Your legs feel like jelly, and with one final press of his lips to your own, Jaehyun pulls up his sweats and then slips out of the airplane bathroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts and anxieties. 
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Four
“Seriously, I should be pulling my own bag,” you say for the third time since Jaehyun had lifted your luggage off the carousel. 
“You’ve got a bag,” he grins, eying the duffle over your shoulder.
“When Nari sees this, she’s going to know something is up.”
“Maybe she’ll think I’m just being a good brother,” Jaehyun points out. “Besides, she won’t know I pulled your bag through the airport. She’ll just show up with her car, and watch me put your stuff in the trunk. That’s not so bad, is it?”
You suppose he’s right, but your nerves are getting the better of you.
It’s hard to stand so close to Jaehyun without latching onto his side. It’s cold out too, and your jacket is fine, but you know Jaehyun is warmer- know that if you were to sneak your hands under his parka and touch his perfect abs, you’d heat up in no time-
“There she is,” Jaehyun tells you, eying the line of cars waiting to pull up for a brief stop in front of the terminal.
Nari has brought her family Range Rover, and soon the boxy SUV is coming to a stop in front of you. Your best friend jumps out of the driver’s seat, running around the large car to throw her arms around you.
She belts out your name as she embraces you, the fur hood of her jacket tickling your nose. You can’t help but smile, melting into the hug. 
“I can’t believe you’re finally here!” Nari grins, pulling away to get a good look at you. “It’s been way too long, babes!”
You hear a small scoff, and you turn to see Jaehyun already busy at work putting your luggage in the back of the SUV.
“I missed you too, Jae,” Nari calls. “But this is my best friend, excuse me for welcoming her first.”
“I didn’t say anything,” the dimpled frat boy smirks, and you’re struck by the beauty of Jeong genes. Both siblings have perfect black hair, perfect little dimples that pop out when they smile, and perfect brown eyes that are always full of admiration when they look at someone they care about.
After one more small squeeze, Nari bounds over to her brother. You watch as Jaehyun lifts her from the ground, spinning your best friend around while she squeals with delight. 
“Jeeze, Jae,” Nari gasps when she’s set on her feet again, “have you been bulking again? You’re fucking huge!”
You want to groan at the statement, because it’s so true. 
Jaehyun had always been attractive, but then he’d gone to uni, joined the football team- and now, he’s as sexy as ever. His shoulders are broad, his chest sculpted by the gods, his arms all beefy and thick and always ready to throw you onto his bed-
The pretty fratboy notices you staring, and he flashes you a wink over his sister’s shoulder. You break eye contact, staring down at the pavement. 
“Was the flight okay?” Nari asks, coming over to join you again. 
“We hit a bit of turbulence,” Jaehyun answers smoothly. “But I’d say it was a good trip.”
Your skin heats at the memory of him railing you less than an hour ago. You wonder if your panties are wet from watching him be the hottest man you’ve ever seen- or from his cum still dripping out of you.
It feels dirty- but exhilarating at the same time. Jae’s your sinful little secret, and despite the wish that he didn’t have to be, it’s part of the fun.
“You seem off, babes,” Nari says, reaching over to touch your arm. “Are you okay?”
“Just tired.” You smile softly. “Didn’t sleep much on the plane.”
“Well, when we get home, I can make us some espresso martinis,” Nari winks. 
Before you can say anything else, a car honks behind you, making you jump. 
“We should get going,” Jaehyun says, reaching for the door to the driver’s passenger seat. “Don’t want to hold up the line.”
Instead of entering the car himself, Jaehyun looks at you pointedly. When you furrow your brows with confusion, he makes a small motion with his head, a motion that says ‘get in.’
While Nari hurries around the front of the car, you step closer to her brother. “You’re opening car doors for me now?”
“Just being chivalrous,” he grins.
You can feel his breath against your face, can see it in the cold air- he’s so close, his lips all perfect and pink and plump-
“Get in bitches, we’re going home!” Nari yells as she hops into the car.
And just like that, the spell is broken. You tear yourself away from Jaehyun, getting into the SUV while he closes the door behind you, taking his own seat in the back.
“Okay, so I know you’re only here for five days, but we still have to do all our Christmas traditions,” Nari says as she carefully pulls out of the terminal line. 
“All of them?” you squeak. You’d figured you’d do a few of the things you’ve been doing with Nari since high school, but the idea that you’ll do all of them? “Do we have the time?”
“Well, if we start tonight with a girls' night, we can bake cookies, have a sleepover, watch some Christmas movies, have our espresso martinis- and then tomorrow we can go skating. I’m pretty sure the Lee boys will be there, I bumped into Mark yesterday and he said he has to be on the ice every day, even during his break-”
“You’re still into Mark, huh?” Jaehyun laughs, leaning forward from the backseat to join the conversation.
“Of course.” Nari flips a long, dark, silky smooth strand of hair over her shoulder, eying her brother through the rearview mirror. “He’s literally adorable.”
“Sure he is,” her brother scoffs.
“Anyways, as I was saying,” Nari grabs your thigh, squeezing gently, “Mark said Jeno was flying in- I think last night? So if we go skating tomorrow, we could probably see them both, maybe get apple cider from the parking lot food truck together after a cute little double date-”
“Double date?” You can feel Jaehyun’s breath against your neck. “Since when are you both into Lee’s?”
“Since when are you joining in on girl talk?” Nari fires back at her brother. “Can’t you let us plan in peace?”
“I told you I’m not into Jeno anymore,” you say quietly, feeling your skin prickle under Jaehyun’s hard gaze as you address his sister. 
“Yeah, your whole long-distance thing- well, who says this has to be a relationship? We can have a bit of fun, can’t we?”
You and Jaehyun both sigh, and you hear the fratboy sit back in his seat, clearly exasperated.
“This is what happens when you join girl talk, Jae,” Nari scolds her brother. “If you don’t want to hear the juicy details, put some headphones on.”
“I’m fine with juicy details,” Jaehyun notes, “I just don’t like hearing about your random hook-up plans.”
“As if you wouldn’t hit on Irene if you saw her around town while you’re here,” Nari points out.
“Irene?” You perk up at the mention of the girl who used to be the cheerleading captain at your high school. She’s a year older than you, one year younger than Jaehyun- You swivel in your seat to address the man you’ve been sleeping with for two months. “You have a crush on Irene?”
“Oh my god, have you never heard this?” Nari practically wiggles in excitement. “Jaehyun was obsessed with her. Like- truly obsessed.”
“I was not-”
“You a hundred percent were!” Nari insists. “When Jae’s obsessed, he does this thing where he low key stalks the girl- like, looks at her location on Snapmaps and then just ‘happens’ to end up in the same place and bump into her-”
Your skin tingles. You’d known Jaehyun had used that tactic on you, but you hadn’t realized that it was a common theme of obsession for him. 
When you sneak a look over your shoulder at the fratboy, you find his entire face has turned pink. “Nari, stop-” he groans.
“I’ll stop if you stop,” his sister fires back.
“Fine, yeah, I won’t say anything,” Jaehyun sighs.
“Good!” Nari grins in triumph. “So as I was saying- if we do skating tomorrow, and make gingerbread houses the next day, we can get most of our traditions done before the Christmas eve party.”
“You know what?” You take a breath as the car comes to a stop at a red light. “It sounds like you have this whole thing planned, so let’s just do it. Whatever you want.”
“Really!?” Nari beams, turning to look at you.
“Uh huh,” you nod. “Whatever you want.”
“Eeee!” your best friend throws her arms around you, leaning over the middle panel to hug you tight.
“Nari, the road!” Jaehyun yells, hand grabbing at the shoulder of your seat.
“Right-” Nari pulls away from you, turning her attention back to driving. The light is green now, and she hits the gas just as the person behind you begins to honk. “I’m just so excited- girls' night!”
“More like girls' week,” Jaehyun sighs from behind you.
“And what about it!?” Nari grins. “Babes,” her attention shifts to you again, “we should do takeout tonight. I know your mom is probably going to cook, but I’ve been missing our pho place for literal months-”
Jaehyun perks up behind you. “The pho place down on Wayfare?” 
“As if there’s any other pho place,” Nari sasses.
“Shit, I could go for some of that too.”
“Then get it yourself, we’re discussing girl’s night, Jae. You’re not invited.”
You can’t help but grin to yourself at their bickering. 
Soon you’re pulling up in front of your houses. When Jaehyun takes your luggage out of the back, you grab the handle, offering him a small smile. “Thanks for this, I can take it from here.”
“Have fun tonight,” he tells you.
“With your sister? Always.” 
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Five
You haven’t been on skates since last Christmas, and stepping onto the ice makes you wobbly. Nari grabs onto your arm, giggling at your antics. 
“Don’t make fun of me,” you tell her, although you’re grinning at your own ineptitude as well.
“I’m not,” she insists. “You’re adorable. Jeno’s gonna love this, it will give him an excuse to come hold your hand.”
“Jesus, I already told you I don’t want Jeno-” 
As the words escape your mouth, you catch sight of the Lee cousins. Mark is wearing blue jeans, a red crewneck and a beanie, his cheeks flushed. He’s grinning at the man next to him, the Lee Jeno in question.
Your sentence gets caught in your throat, because damn, even from across the rink, Jeno looks good. Unlike his colorful cousin, Jeno is in full black. Joggers and a hoodie, but even through the thick fabrics, the broad set of his shoulders is undeniable. 
Had everyone gotten hotter in the past few months? 
“Where did you say Jeno ended up going to uni again?” you ask.
Nari grins knowingly. “He went down south somewhere, a lacrosse scholarship, remember?”
Jeno had been a lean jock type in high school, but now, he looks like certified Angus beef, and you want to take a bite. 
You might call Jaehyun puppy these days, but if anyone embodies some good labrador retriever energy, it’s the two cousins who catch your eye and come skating over. 
Your heart begins to thunder in your rib cage, and suddenly, the winter jacket you’re wearing feels much too hot and heavy- or maybe that’s just you.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Nari beams, looking Mark up and down. “Didn’t think I’d see you again so soon.”
The hockey player gives your best friend a look, “I mean, I did tell you I’d be here every day, didn’t I?” 
You can see Nari begin to flounder next to you. “She mentioned Jeno would be in town, so I insisted we come today,” you say smoothly, catching the younger Lee’s eye. “I guess I was wondering how your lacrosse scholarship was going.”
“Yeah?” Jeno grins. “I can tell you all about it.” He holds his arm out to you, and with one final smile to Nari, you accept his offer, wobbling a little as you join Jeno and begin to skate around the rink. “Where should I start?”
“Wherever you want, I don’t know much about lacrosse.”
“Well…” Jeno takes a deep breath, and then he launches into a rundown of his team's wins and losses, giving all sorts of details and using lingo that you can hardly keep track of. It’s the most you can do to watch your footing and not slip while latched onto his large bicep.
In the periphery, you can hear Nari and Mark chatting behind you. You’re happy she’s finally getting some time with her crush, even if it means you have to take one for the team and entertain Jeno… although, he’s doing a pretty good job entertaining himself.
“Anyways,” Jeno sighs, “enough about me, how has your first term been treating you?”
“It’s been great!” you smile. “I love my classes, my teachers are very good at what they do-”
“How about your personal life? New friends, boyfriends-” Jeno trails off.
You find yourself giggling. “Wow, Jeno, that was smooth.”
His ears turn pink, and he adjusts your hand on his arm, pulling you closer. “I’ll take that as a no?”
“You should take it as a… it’s complicated.”
“Most things are,” Jeno nods. “But they don’t have to be.”
“They don’t?”
“Sometimes it can be as simple as I think you’re hot, you think I’m hot, lets see what happens.” 
“Is that what you want?” you ask. “To see what happens between us?”
“I’m definitely curious about it… and I feel like you are too.”
You open your mouth to say something, and that’s when you catch sight of Jaehyun. He’s leaning by the opening to the rink, arms crossed over his chest. The white cardigan he has on was a Christmas present from his mother last year, and his jeans are black. He looks extremely striking, as always, and he’s staring right at you, a smirk on his lips.
“I uh…” you swallow thickly, considering letting go of Jeno’s arm-
Behind you, Mark’s voice gets louder. “You really think you can skate faster than me?”
“We should race,” Nari insists.
“You’re so on.” 
A moment later, the two are whipping by you and Jeno, giggling like children. The distraction makes Jeno perk up, and you feel his muscles flex under your fingers.
“You should join them,” you suggest, seeing it as your only easy way out of this situation.
“Are you sure? Won’t you fall?”
“I’ll be okay,” you insist. “Seriously, I know you want to.”
“You’re the best,” Jeno grins. And then he does something you never would have expected him to do. He leans down and presses his lips to your cheek.
As suddenly as he’d made his move, he’s darting off, and you’re left shocked in his wake.
You freeze where you are, and then you begin to wobble. Your skates slip on the ice and your arms fly out, trying to help you balance-
But it’s no use, after a few seconds of sliding around, you begin to fall backward-
Strong arms catch you, and you find yourself clutched to Jaehyun’s chest while he looks down at you. “Hey, Angel.”
“Puppy-” you gasp, clinging tightly to his woven cardigan. 
He helps you straighten, only to pull you tighter to his body, leaning forward so his lips brush by your ear when he says, “I wanna kiss you so fucking bad.” 
“Jae-”
“It’s only fair, isn’t it? Jeno just got to kiss your cheek, why can’t I?”
“We can’t do this here-”
“You’re right,” he nods, pulling away from you, “let's go somewhere private.”
Your whole body is alight with tingling energy. You’re drawn to Jaehyun like a moth to a flame, and it takes every ounce of your self-control to pull away from him- although, you latch onto his arm a moment later when you begin to slip again.
“Puppy,” you say in a hushed tone, “we talked about this.”
“We never talked about Jeno flirting with you in front of me,” Jaehyun points out, beginning to lead you toward the wall of the ice rink where you’ll be able to grab the ledge for support. 
“I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s not your fault. He has to learn his place.”
“God, you’re so jealous,” you laugh. Your best friend’s brother doesn’t usually act this way, at his frat, everyone knows you’re his, no one would dare come near you- but here, in your hometown, surrounded by past crushes and would be romancables, it’s open season, and it’s clear that it’s making Jaehyun uncomfortable. 
“I’m protective,” he corrects you. 
You make it to the edge of the rink and you grab onto the side, steadying yourself and turning to look out at the ice. Mark is easy to spot in his red crewneck, making a fast lap with Nari and Jeno quick on his heels. God, you’d really held them all up with your wobbly skating.
“They look like they’re having fun,” Jaehyun notes, following your gaze.
“Yeah, Nari’s always been good on the ice.”
Jaehyun laughs. “That’s what five years of figure skating will do to you.” 
“I wouldn’t be able to stand it, my feet are already hurting from these skates and I just got here.” 
“I could always offer to take you home, we could get some alone time.” Jaehyun moves closer to you, and it takes everything for you to not lean against his shoulder. 
“I’d love to, but-”
“But this is girl’s time,” he finishes your sentence for you. 
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Jaehyun sighs. “Nari has missed you. I don’t blame her for that.”
A minute later, your best friend stops in front of you with the Lee boys in tow. “Ready for another go around the rink?” she asks.
“I’m just slowing you guys down, maybe I should just… stand here,” you suggest.
“I’ll keep her company,” Jaehyun smiles, and you don’t miss the way his eyes shift to Jeno, who straightens under his gaze. 
“Or we could go grab some apple cider from the food truck,” Jeno pipes up. “Mark and I have been here a while, I’m done with skating if you are.” 
Nari looks at you, then at Mark, then to Jeno- you’re not really sure how to respond yourself.
“Apple cider sounds perfect right now,” Jaehyun says smoothly. “It will be my treat. But hey, Nari, I know you love skating, how about you stick around here with Mark for a while? Looked like you two were enjoying yourselves.”
“Uh… I mean, if that’s okay with you?” Nari reaches out for your hand. “We’ll do a few more laps then we can come join?”
“Whatever you want,” you nod, squeezing her fingers gently. 
“Okay, well,” a grin appears on her face and she sneaks a glance at Mark before looking at you and her brother again, “I guess we’ll meet you in the parking lot.”
As she and the hockey player dart away, you push off from the wall, only to begin wobbling. Two sets of steady hands grab your arms and you find yourself squished between Jeno and Jaehyun.
“Easy there, angel,” Jaehyun breathes.
Jeno tightens his grip on you but doesn’t say anything, and they help you off the ice. 
You can feel the tension in the air, and it only gets thicker as you try to find somewhere to sit to take off your skates amongst the young families all lacing up to get in the rink. It’s Jaehyun who nabs you a seat, insisting you’re the first to get your skates off. But he doesn’t stop there, as you struggle with the tight knots, Jaehyun gets down on a knee, brushing your hands aside.
“Looks like Nari did these up for you, huh?” he muses with a grin on his face.
“Yeah, something about tight laces for ankle safety,” you huff, leaning back and allowing him to do the work.
Jaehyun opens his mouth to respond to you, but Jeno beats him to it. “So you two are pretty close, huh?”
You exchange a look with your best friend’s brother. “Well, I mean- we grew up together,” you point out.
“Right, neighbors, I forgot about that.” Jeno nods to himself. “And you’re at the same uni now?”
“Yup,” Jaehyun says flatly, pulling your first skate off while you let out a sigh of relief. 
“See much of each other?” the lacrosse player asks. 
“In passing,” you lie, and it makes Jaehyun smirk to himself as he continues to your second skate. 
Jeno doesn’t question you further, and as soon as you’re free of the torture devices that had been strapped to your feet, you dart to the skate counter to retrieve your shoes, leaving the two alpha males to their own devices. 
When Jaehyun and Jeno find you again, they’re chatting easier now- some shared love for a sports team. It allows you some reprieve as you all head outside and get in line at the food truck. 
It’s odd to be in a situation like this. Two gorgeous, beefy, tall men on either side of you- this would have been a dream of yours back in high school, but now, it falls oddly flat. 
Mark and Nari join you by the time you make it to the front of the line, and Jaehyun buys a round of apple ciders despite the Lee cousins protesting. “It’s the least I could do for the guys who entertained these two goofballs before I showed up,” Jaehyun insists, nudging his sister playfully.
The conversation quickly returns to sports, and Nari pulls you aside. “So…” she grins. “How was Jeno time?”
“How was Mark time?” you counter. 
“He’s just as cute and sweet as I remember,” Nari practically swoons. “I’m so happy Jaehyun decided to cockblock you and not me- but Jeno likes you, I’m sure of it.”
“Can we drop this whole Jeno thing?” you groan, eyes darting over her shoulder to the group of men who are still talking about football of all topics.
“He’s so hot though! Why are you being like this?” 
“I told you, I don’t want anything long distance.” and also I’m in love with your brother. 
Nari crinkles her nose with distaste. “You’re no fun.”
Your gaze shifts to Jaehyun, and he flashes you a small wink that makes your heart race in your chest. 
This whole thing is getting out of hand.
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Six
It’s very hard to focus on your gingerbread house with Jaehyun hovering around the kitchen. He’s come and looked in the fridge about six different times, you’ve watched him down three beers, eat an orange cup, a few pieces of beef jerky, and then grab a bag of chips.
“Did you guys not have dinner or something?” you find yourself asking with a laugh.
“Huh?” Nari looks up from her immaculate creation, then swivels in her chair to eye her brother. “Actually, that’s a good question, why are you eating so much?”
“Are you two fat-shaming me?” Jaehyun questions before plopping more chips in his mouth. 
“Oh my god, Jae, fuck off-” Nari rolls her eyes.
The football player grins. “If you must know, I’m bulking. I’m allowed to bulk, aren’t I? I was at the gym for three hours this morning.”
“That doesn’t sound healthy,” Nari muses.
“Yeah? Well, look at these.” Jaehyun’s in a muscle shirt, and as he lifts his arms to flex, you find yourself beginning to drool. You have to tear your eyes off of him, your skin heating with excitement.
God, you want him so bad-
“Put your guns away, Jesus, neither of us want to see that!” Nari screeches. 
Jaehyun only grins, approaching the two of you at the dinner table. “Nice gingerbread houses.”
“We’re almost done,” Nari smiles, inspecting her perfect little edible art project. 
“What’s next for girl’s night?” Jaehyun asks, leaning over his sister’s chair.
“Christmas movies,” you respond, trying to focus on your own craft despite Jaehyun’s eyes being glued to you.
“Sounds fun.” 
You reach for your martini, and you can feel Jaehyun watching that too.
“How much have you guys had to drink?” Your best friend’s brother questions.
“Who are you? The party police? God, Jae, just leave us alone,” Nari groans.
“Fine, have it your way.” Jaehyun straightens again. “Just pace yourselves okay?”
You wonder, as the night continues, the motives behind Jaehyun’s warning. Nari generally does the opposite of what her brother asks her to do, and true to form, she ends up drinking much more than she’d initially planned.
By the time you settle into the living room to watch a movie, she’s hiccuping, her skin all flushed as she cuddles under a soft blanket. “Stupid Jaehyun,” she groans, “telling me not to drink. Who does he think he is?”
“He’s just watching out for us,” you sigh, scrolling through Netflix to find the movie you’d agreed on.
“Why’s he have to be such a big brother party pooper all the time?” Nari asks. “He’s so lame.”
You can’t help but smile. And you can’t agree with her either, a small sound of semi-affirmation is all you can muster. 
You’re not fifteen minutes into the movie when you hear soft footfalls behind the couch, and you turn to see Jaehyun leaning over you. “Hi,” he grins.
Your eyes dart to Nari, who is passed out in the corner of the couch. Alcohol has always made her sleepy, and you wonder if this was Jaehyun’s plan all along.
“Can I join you?” he asks. 
“As long as you don’t wake her up,” you whisper after a few moments of contention.
Jaehyun comes around the couch and you wiggle over to make room for him in the middle. He sits down carefully, allowing you to adjust the blankets over you both. His arm immediately falls around your shoulders, and you can’t help the sigh that slips out of you.
“Missed you,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Missed you too,” you admit.
His free hand finds your thigh under the blanket and you shift nervously. 
“Puppy-”
“Nari is asleep. We both know what happens when she drinks. She’s out cold, angel.” Jaehyun’s angled towards you now, his lips ghosting past your throat.
“What about your parents?”
“They’re at a Christmas party, they won’t be home till the AM.” He nuzzles your ear and the contact makes you shiver, turning slightly toward him while he parts your thighs. “Can I touch you?”
“You’re already touching me,” you breathe.
“You know what I mean.” His fingers toy with the waistband of your sweatpants. “Tell me to stop.”
You can only release a small sigh of pleasure as he kisses your throat again, abusing your sweet spot while his hand slips under your pants, bypassing your panties too.
“Fuck, angel, you’re already so wet,” he moans in your ear. “Such a dirty girl, letting your best friend’s brother touch you like this while she sleeps next to us.”
You hate that his words turn you on even more. Hate that your entire pussy tingles with interest, his index finger brushing over your clit and making your mind hazy. 
“Have you missed this as much as I have?” he asks.
“It’s been two days puppy, we’ve gone longer-”
“That’s not the point,” Jaehyun insists, slipping one digit into your tight pussy, stroking your aching walls while you struggle to hold your moans at bay. “It’s torture, being this close to you and having to pretend we’re not-” His voice catches, and his breath is hot against your skin.
“Not what?” you whimper.
“Not totally obsessed with each other,” he says finally, adding a second finger to work you open.
“Only one of us is obsessed, puppy.”
“Yeah? Your pussy says otherwise, angel. You’re practically dripping on my hand.” 
“Please-”
“Please what? Close already?” Jaehyun applies pressure to your clit with his palm, pumping his digits into you even harder.
“We can’t-” you swallow thickly. “I can’t-”
“Can’t what? Cum while Nari sleeps next to us? I’m sure you can angel, she never has to know, that’s what you keep saying, right?”
“Puppy,” you open your eyes, reaching up to cup his face. “The bathroom.”
Jaehyun pulls his hand from your pants immediately. “After you.” 
You catch him licking his fingers clean as you stand from the couch, careful not to wake Nari as you tiptoe to the bathroom down the hall, Jaehyun hot on your heels. 
You’re quick to turn the light and fan on, hoping to muffle any noise. The moment the bathroom door is closed and locked behind you, Jaehyun has you pressed against it. His lips are hot against your own and he quickly tugs your pants down to your knees. You try to thread your fingers through his hair only for him to capture your wrists, pinning them above you while his free hand slips between your legs again.
His digits slide into you easily, and your back arches, thighs twitching. “Fuck, puppy-” 
“I’ve missed watching you cum,” Jaehyun groans. “Wanna make you cum like this before I fuck you properly. You can do that for me, right? Cum on my fingers? I think I deserve it after having to watch you and Jeno yesterday.”
The mention of Jeno has your stomach twisting into knots, your orgasm building much too quickly as Jaehyun works you open, his palm firm on your clit.
“Come on, angel,” his grip on your wrist tightens, “I can feel you tensing up, just let go for me.”
You bite into your lower lip as you cum, your core throbbing while Jaehyun works you through it. You’re doing your best to muffle your own sounds but it’s difficult with the amount of pleasure coursing through you.
You can feel Jaehyun watching you intently, can feel his heavy breaths on your skin as his fingers thrust in and out of your gushing pussy.
“So fucking perfect,” he groans. 
“Puppy-” you whimper, desperation overtaking you.
“Yeah?”
“Fuck me? Please?” All your inhibitions have flown out the bathroom window. All you want now is Jaehyun. 
“Thought you’d never ask,” Jaehyun grins. 
He lets go of your wrists and you move to the sink, lifting yourself up and onto it while Jaehyun works on his belt. Your skin tingles, your eyes fixed on the bulge pressing against denim. As soon as he’s pushed his pants down, releasing his aching cock, you’re grabbing at him to pull him close, lining him up with your core-
“Fuck!” Nari’s voice is loud on the other side of the door. “Oh my god, Y/N, open up!”
You freeze for a moment, but when loud banging begins, you jump into overdrive. 
You push Jaehyun away from you, hopping off the sink to pull up your sweatpants- “Get in the shower,” you whisper at him before turning your attention to the door, “One moment!” 
The next thing you do is flush the toilet, then turn on the faucet while Jaehyun clamors into the tub, still fumbling with his pants while you close the curtain. 
“Oh my God-” you hear again, and your heart thunders in your rib cage, realization overtaking you.
You unlock the door quickly, throwing it open just in time for Nari to stumble past you to the toilet. She sinks to her knees, a gagging sound filling the room as the consequences of her drinking are brought up. 
“Nari,” you sigh, immediately moving to grab her hair, pulling it away from her face while she pukes. 
There’s nothing else to be said, nothing else to be done while you take care of your best friend, her brother hiding in the shower with his cock probably still hard and aching. 
As things begin to settle for Nari a short while later, you stroke her back. “Feeling better?”
She nods, letting out a pitiful groan. 
“Do you want to stay in here? Or do you think we can go to the kitchen so I can grab you some water and crackers for your stomach?”
Nari takes a moment to consider it, and then she mumbles, “Kitchen.” 
You help her to her feet, supporting her out of the bathroom. When you reach the kitchen, you take her to the sink just in case anything else comes up, and you hurry to get her some water.
As you hand her the cup, Jaehyun stumbles into the kitchen. “Are you two okay? I heard noises.”
“She just had a little too much to drink,” you explain softly, still rubbing Nari’s back.
“Well, I hate to say it, but I told you to watch your liquor tonight,” Jaehyun grins.
Nari glares at her brother over the rim of her cup. “Fuck off and die.” 
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Seven 
The Jeong family Christmas party is always one of the best nights of the year. You arrived early to help prep appetizers, and you’d been in the house not five minutes before Nari forced you into an ugly Christmas sweater - as per her family tradition.
Now, as the house is full of all sorts of people, you feel like an absolute mess with the stupid reindeer on your chest. Although, to be fair, Nari’s is even worse. And Jaehyun’s? Maybe the most hideous of them all- however, his handsome face is more than enough to make up for it.
Jaehyun’s clearly pent-up, and it’s obvious he doesn’t give a shit about your ugly Christmas sweater. He keeps looking at you as if he wants to throw you against the wall and fuck you stupid with the entire party watching, and you’ve done your best to avoid him all night.
It doesn’t help that Jeno and Mark have shown up, the hockey player distracting Nari and leaving you open to the younger Lee, who keeps finding excuses to start a conversation with you. 
“So when do you head back to uni?” Jeno asks, leaning closer as he nurses the beer in his hand.
“On the twenty-sixth.”
“Shit, in two days?”
“Uh huh.”
Jeno cocks his head to the side. “You couldn’t stay longer?” 
“I’m actually moving into my own place on January first, so I’ve gotta get home and pack and prep for classes next term, that sort of thing,” you explain.
“Sucks. It would have been nice to spend some more time with you.”
You notice then that his beer is empty, and instead of responding to his statement, you suggest getting him another round. When you move to the fridge, you find that all the Corona’s are gone, so you excuse yourself to grab more from the cooler out on the back deck, hoping for some reprieve.
It’s a cold night, your breath hanging in the air as you open the cooler, reaching down for the beer you need.
You hear the door open behind you, the noise of the party getting loud only for it to be muffled again when the door is shut once more. “I’ll just be a second,” you call, expecting it to be Jeno who’s followed you outside, however, when you turn, it’s not Jeno’s chest you bump into, it’s Jaehyun’s.
“Hey, angel.”
You let out a sigh, looking up at his handsome face. “Hi, puppy.” His arms wrap around you, and you let out a groan. “What are you doing?”
“It’s cold out here, I’m warming you up,” he insists, dimples on display as he grins. “Also, I found something inside.”
“Yeah? What did you find?”
Jaehyun reaches into his pocket, pulling out something small and green. “Mistletoe.” 
He doesn’t even bother holding it over your head, he simply cups the back of your head with one hand and draws your lips to his own. 
This is the worst place to be kissing Jaehyun. Anyone could open the door from the kitchen and find the two of you making out, but you also can’t say no to him anymore, not when your entire body is yearning for him in a way that you can’t even put into words.
You melt in his embrace, kissing him back. 
His tongue glides against your lower lip, and you open your mouth, accepting him into you while he releases a low groan, tugging you closer to his warm body. 
There’s a shattering sound inside, and a scream, then laughter, and the commotion causes you to pull away from Jaehyun, looking over his shoulder toward the door.
“We should go back inside,” you sigh.
“For Jeno to keep flirting with you?” Jaehyun scoffs. “I’m not a huge fan of that idea.”
“As if you weren’t talking to Irene earlier, don’t think I didn’t notice her arrive an hour ago.”
“There’s a difference between me and Irene, and you and Jeno.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” you laugh.
“I don’t give a fuck about Irene anymore, but with you and Jeno, I’m not so sure.”
Your heart tightens in your chest. “Jae-”
“Puppy,” he corrects you.
“Puppy,” you sigh, “there’s nothing between me and Jeno. I’ve been trying to avoid him all night.”
“Not as hard as you’ve been avoiding me.”
“Yeah, because you look at me like you want to bend me over the next horizontal surface and fuck me stupid!” you laugh.
“Are you a mind reader now, angel?” Jaehyun grins.
“Something like that,” you shake your head at his antics, patting his chest with your free hand. “Seriously, I’m getting cold, we should go inside.”
“Fine,” Jaehyun sighs, releasing you. “You can head in first, I’ll give it a minute before following.”
You can’t help but give him one final kiss, a kiss that lingers before you tear yourself away, brushing past him to enter the warmth of the house again.
Jeno is still standing in the kitchen, and you hold out a Corona as you approach. “Here.”
“Can I ask you something?” Jeno watches you add a few more beers to the fridge. 
“Of course.”
“When you said your love life is complicated… it’s Jae, isn’t it?” 
Your skin tingles as you close the fridge, turning to match Jeno’s gaze. “I uh-” You swallow thickly, looking around to make sure no one is listening before you lean in closer to the lacrosse player. “Was it that obvious?”
“No… and also sort of. There were signs, like, the way he just followed you outside, but I actually asked a friend about you,” Jeno admits.
“A friend?”
“Yeah, I uh, went to lacrosse summer camp with this dude for a few years, turns out he’s a pledge in Jaehyun’s frat. He confirmed things.”
“Which pledge?” 
“Promise he won’t get in trouble?” Jeno laughs.
“Cross my heart.”
“His name is Jaemin. He says you and Jaehyun have been a thing since the start of the year. He said it seemed pretty serious.” Jeno studies your face, and you’re not sure what he’s really looking for from you in regard to a response. “I guess… I guess I’m just wondering why you two aren’t open about it here, or at least, why you aren’t as open about it as you seem to be at the frats.”
“He’s my best friend’s brother,” you say quietly.
“You really think Nari would care about something like this?” Jeno asks.
“She’s very… competitive about my time,” you explain. “And as I said, this is her brother we’re talking about. Their relationship is… complicated”
“Most family dynamics are,” Jeno concedes. “But if you ask me, I don’t think she’d have that big of an issue with it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you sigh, although you’re not sure how well Jeno knows Nari.
“Listen, now that you’ve made it clear you’re into someone else, I’ll leave you alone,” Jeno says finally. “I didn’t mean to step on any toes.”
“You didn't,” you assure him. “How were you supposed to know about Jaehyun? It’s not your fault. No harm, no foul.”
“I mean, I did kiss your cheek, which feels pretty innocent, but looking back now- Jaehyun was totally watching when I did that,” Jeno laughs. 
“Okay, maybe there was a little harm,” you admit, joining him with a giggle, “but seriously, don’t worry about it. I’m the one who has to sort this whole Jae thing out, not you.”
“Good luck with it, really.” Jeno reaches out and gently squeezes your shoulder, offering you one more smile before he turns and disappears into the other room.
Nari finds you a short while later, explaining that the Lee cousins had left. She gives you a complete rundown on Mark while the two of you sip wine and giggle by the fireplace. Other people begin to dissipate as the night goes on, and soon, you find yourself heading to the door. 
Your best friend gives you a tight hug, and then you catch sight of her brother over her shoulder.
“Leaving already?” he asks.
“I’m pretty tired,” you admit.
“You can’t say goodbye without hugging at least two of the hosts, and seeing as our parents are in the kitchen discussing land equity, I guess that leaves you with me,” Jaehyun grins, holding his arms open for you.
“Jesus, Jae, you’re such a dog,” Nari rolls her eyes.
With a laugh, and a shake of your head, you step into Jaehyun’s embrace, hating how your body reacts to him. You’re aware of Nari standing just a few feet away, but you can’t help the way you lean closer to his ear. “Goodnight, puppy.”
Jaehyun’s body tenses slightly, and you pull out of the hug, offering him a small smile.
“Goodnight, y/n.” 
It feels weird to hear him actually call you by your name instead of calling you angel. 
You don’t like it, and the feeling sticks with you while you head next door to your own house.
After a quick hello to your mother, and an acknowledgment that your dad is still at the Jeong Christmas Eve party, you go upstairs, ready to go to bed. Only, as soon as you enter your room, your phone begins to ring, and you pull it from your pocket.
“Hey, puppy,” you laugh. “Miss me already?”
“Look out your window.”
Your gaze lifts, heart already picking up speed. 
Growing up with Jaehyun’s room directly across from your own had led to a few tense moments in your teens. One day, you’d seen him fresh from a shower, towel low on his hips- but other than a few near-naked moments, you’d done your best not to be a peeping tom. It’s interesting to have him directing you to be nosey, and you approach the window with your phone held tight in your hand.
Jaehyun’s standing in his room, and he waves his fingers at you. “I didn’t think we’d be reduced to this,” he admits, “but fuck it, if this is the only way I can have you tonight, then I guess phone sex is my new best friend.”
“Phone sex, huh?” you laugh. 
“You got to cum with me yesterday, but I didn’t, and I’m feeling it, angel.” As if to prove his point, Jaehyun’s free hand slides down his chest to his pants, and he grips his cock through the fabric. “You’re making me crazy.”
“I’m not doing anything, puppy. You’re the one being insatiable. I’m just a good girl in her bedroom while her neighbor watches and touches himself.” 
“I shouldn’t be the only one having fun though,” Jaehyun says, and you can hear his breathing getting heavier already while he palms himself through his pants. “How about you lift that stupid fucking reindeer sweater and show me those tits I love so much?”
“Yeah? Is that really what you want, puppy?” You grab the hem of the ugly sweater, slowly lifting it to reveal a strip of your abdomen. 
“Fuck, why haven’t we been doing this every night since we got here?” Jaehyun groans, stepping closer to his window to get a better look at you.
“We’ve been busy,” you remind him, allowing the fabric to drop down again. “I’m actually pretty tired-”
“If we don’t do this on the phone, I’ll be forced to come over there, explain to your mother that you’re my evasive little tease of a fuck toy, and rail you in your bedroom.”
The thought makes your pussy throb with desire. “We can’t have that, now can we?”
“So be a good girl, angel, and take off your sweater.”
“Take off yours,” you counter.
Jaehyun doesn’t waste a moment, he tears the fabric off his body, muscles rippling under unblemished skin. 
Fuck, you’ve missed him too, but you haven’t allowed yourself to acknowledge just how much you’ve missed him until this very moment. 
You follow suit, taking off the ugly Christmas sweater.
“Bra too,” he says, voice husky as his hand returns to his cock.
Unlike Jaehyun, you haven’t mastered the art of removing your bra with one hand, so you put your phone on speaker and set it on the windowsill. You’re slow with your motions, flashing your best friend’s brother a flirty grin as you reach behind your back. 
“Fuck-” he groans, watching one strap slip off, then the other. As you drop the bra to the floor, Jaehyun pulls down his pants, and your mouth begins to water at the sight of his cock.
You wish you were closer to him, wish you could see the pretty vein that runs along the underside of his dick-
“I want you in my mouth, puppy,” you admit.
“Angel-” Jaehyun moans, wrapping his hand around his girth. 
“Wanna suck you off till you see stars,” you continue, reaching up to grab your breasts, teasing your fingers over your nipples, and letting out a shaky breath.
“I wanna eat you out till your thighs are shaking around my head and you’re squirting all over my tongue.”
You immediately fumble with your pants, pushing them down around your ankles and then your panties too. 
“Tell me how wet you are,” Jaehyun commands as you bring your digits to your clit, swiping through your pussy lips to collect the moisture there.
“I’m drenched, puppy, and I’ve been drenched since that kiss we had by the cooler outside.” 
“You should’a let me fuck you,” he says smugly.
“Puppy-”
“I know, I know.” You hear him swallow thickly. “Rub your clit for me, and don’t be gentle. I’m way too horny to last- had a wet dream about you last night and I can’t get you out of my head.”
“Tell me about the dream?” you urge, applying pressure to the sensitive bud between your thighs.
“We were back in my room at the frat,” he starts. “No one was gonna bug us. No sisters or pledges. Just you and me. I took my time with you, letting you grind on my thigh in your sweatpants till you were begging for me to get you naked and do whatever I wanted to you.”
“And then?”
“Stripped you, got between your thighs, made you scream, made you cry and drool and say please-” You can see his hand picking up speed on his cock, and your pussy throbs as you work your clit. “Finally gave you my cock, folded you like a fucking pretzel, and gave you everything you wanted.”
You slip a digit into your pussy, releasing a frustrated groan. 
“I know that sound, angel. What? Fingers not big enough for you?” Jaehyun laughs.
“Nothing is big enough except your cock,” you whimper, quickly adding a second. 
“True, but you’ll still cum for me, right? I wanna watch you cum.”
You bring your second hand to your clit, and the moment you touch it, electric tingles erupt across your skin.
His dirty talk - as well as the fact that you haven’t fucked him in a few days - has you close to the edge already. 
“I wanna watch you cum too,” you tell him. “Wish you were cumming inside me though, filling me up just right-”
“Fuck, that perfect fucking pussy squeezing me for all I’m worth-”
“Puppy,” you whimper, feeling your emotions building with your orgasm.
“Yeah, angel, I’m there too- gonna be good and cum with me, right? Gonna let me watch you as you fuck yourself with your fingers wishing it was my cock inside you-”
“Jae-”
“Puppy, call me puppy, angel- fuck,” he groans loudly and the sound goes straight to your core, which pulses around your fingertips. 
You can’t hold off any longer, your orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. A strangled gasp escapes you, your eyes closing, head falling back as white-hot energy surges through you.
Jaehyun releases his own sound of pleasure, panting hard on the other end of the line. Muffled moans and whimpers ensue as you work yourselves through your highs, your body aching for Jaehyun to be there with you instead of in his room next door.
As your orgasm passes, you slowly come to a stop, opening your eyes again to stare at your best friend’s brother. He’s already wiping away his cum with a tissue, and he flashes you a wink. 
In retaliation for the flush that immediately consumes you from such a small act, you take your fingers from your pussy, lifting them to your lips.
“Jesus, angel,” Jaehyun moans, his motions coming to a stop as he watches you. 
“Bet you can’t wait to taste me again, puppy.”
“I can still come over.”
“Not a chance in hell.”
“It was worth a shot, though, huh?” he laughs.
“Goodnight, Jaehyun.”
“You don’t wanna stay on call? Maybe Facetime while you fall asleep or something?”
“I’ve gotta shower-”
“Take your phone with you.”
It’s so hard to say no to him, so you don’t. 
His eager encouragements and filthy mouth help you cum two more times - once in the shower and once in bed - before you finally pass out while on Facetime with the man who owns your heart.
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Eight
Nari knows you well. Better than almost anyone, and because of this, gift-giving with her is always easy. She gets you a box set of your favorite perfume before opening the present you’d gotten for her (skincare from her favorite Korean brand). 
As you settle onto her couch afterward, however, you realize just how well she knows you.
“So… what’s going on with you and Jae?”
“Hmm?” You nearly choke on your wine.
“You called him puppy last night.” You stare blankly at her. “As you were leaving. At first, I thought it had to do with me calling him a dog right before that, but… I don’t know, it felt too natural, and he seemed way too happy and smiley afterward.”
“I didn’t uh…” you swallow thickly, “I didn’t realize you’d heard that.”
“I bet you didn’t,” Nari shakes her head knowingly. “The more I thought about it, the more everything seemed to be natural between the two of you. Him helping you with your bags when I picked you up from the airport, him buying us all apple cider at the rink- the way he helped you on the ice. Even the way he hung around while we did our gingerbread houses. There’s something between you two, isn’t there? You guys are too natural together for there not to be something.”
“I mean… he’s your brother-”
“And he’s annoying, and lame, and a loser- but if you can look past all that, well… he’s a good guy at heart. And I’ve always wanted you to end up with a good guy.”
You can’t believe the words coming out of Nari’s mouth.
“There is something,” Nari states after your silence lasts a moment too long. 
“Nari, I wanted to tell you-”
“I get why you didn’t, but seriously, fuck that, tell me everything!” 
You’re shocked that she’s practically wiggling with excitement. As if this isn’t her older brother you’re talking about.
“What do you want to know?” you ask finally.
“When did it start? How did it start? Is he actually good to you? Does he stalk you on snapmaps?”
Her flurry of questions are almost too much to keep track of, and you set your wine glass down to get your bearings. “He’s good to me,” you admit. “Almost too good- and yeah, he still stalks me on snapmaps.”
“That creep!” Nari laughs. “So he’s like obsessed obsessed.” 
“I guess so.” Your skin heats at the admission.
“You know what, I can’t believe I’m saying this but you two are kind of cute together. But, if he breaks your heart, you get me in the divorce and I’ll disown him.”
You giggle at how serious Nari is about this. “Deal.”
As the word leaves your mouth, the back door opens and Jaehyun trudges inside, a bundle of wood in his arms. There’s snow in his pretty dark hair, and his cheeks are pink from the cold. He looks up and flashes you both a smile as he kicks off his boots. “Thought you guys might want to get the fireplace going today so I chopped some provisions.”
All week, you’ve been hiding your affection for this absolute puppy of a man, but you don’t have to do that anymore.
You stand from the couch, smiling warmly at him. “She knows, puppy.”
“She knows?” he repeats, freezing in place. He looks from you to his sister, then back at you again. 
A huge smile appears over his face and he drops the firewood, practically running at you, hopping over the couch and nearly whacking Nari in the process only to wrap his arms around you and pull you into a tight hug. He spins you around the Jeong family living room, burying his face in your hair.
“We don’t have to hide anymore!” he yells in your ear.
“No more hiding,” you agree as he sets you down, only to cup your face and kiss you deeply. Your skin flares at the realization that you’re doing this in front of his sister, but Jaehyun doesn’t seem to have a care in the world.
When he breaks away from you, he turns to Nari, grinning triumphantly. “This is my girlfriend!”
“Wait, you two are like, official official?” Nari asks.
“We are now,” Jaehyun states, but he falters, turning to you. “We are, right?”
“Yes, puppy, I’ll be your girlfriend,” you laugh.
He kisses you again, grinning the whole time, and you can’t help but smile as well. 
“Fuck, you two are really cute,” Nari groans. 
“This is the best Christmas present ever,” Jaehyun announces.
Nari rolls her eyes. “I’m not gifting you my best friend! Jesus, Jaehyun, get a life!” 
“She’s my gift, no takebacks,” your puppy boyfriend insists, staring at you with stars in his eyes.
“You know what, we always did say we wanted to be sisters,” Nari sighs. “I guess we can officially welcome you to the Jeong’s now.”
“We’re not getting married-” you protest.
“Not yet, anyways,” Jaehyun quips, earning an elbow to the ribs. 
“Yeah! Put him in his place!” Nari cheers. 
Jaehyun holds you closer, bringing his lips to your ear. “Does this mean I can take you upstairs and fuck you now?”
“Fucking hell-” Nari squeals, “do neither of you know how to whisper?! I did not need to hear that!”
“Then you should find some headphones, because this one can be kind of loud.” Jaehyun pokes your stomach and you slap his hand away.
“Fine, shit,” Nari rolls her eyes, “look, as your best friend,” her eyes find yours, “I’ll give you half an hour to fuck my brother before I demand you come back downstairs for our usual Christmas festivities, deal?”
Before you can even answer, Jaehyun is throwing you over his shoulder. “Deal!”
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I was feeling in the Christmas spirit, and I thought Jae would be so good for this :)
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 
🔮 preview. “Oh, we’re a hundred percent fucking at the Jeong family Christmas party. I’ve been needing you since dinner, angel. You won’t make me wait any longer, will you?”
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, deep throating, oral, pussy eating, multiple orgasms, soft/romantic sex, dirty talk, mutual orgasm, praise, quickie, slight exhibitionism (fucking upstairs at a party),  I petnames. (hers) angel (his) puppy.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3k I teaser wc. 200
🌙 staring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader
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bonus
“Ya’ll are like a pair of fucking wild animals,” Nari whispers as she takes her seat between you and Jaehyun at the dining table while her parents prepare to bring food from the kitchen for your meal. “You can’t keep your hands off each other for ten minutes to eat a family dinner together- I thought the honeymoon phase was supposed to last a few months and it’s been over a fucking year.”
No one is more shocked than you are that you find yourself at the Jeong house for a second Christmas in a row while still completely enthralled with the oldest Jeong sibling. As supportive as Nari has been, it’s clear she’s salty about her brother getting much of your attention these days, and you can’t say you blame her for that.
This Christmas, you’re spending a week and a half in your hometown, and Jaehyun’s been trying to monopolize on your time with a fire that rivals even his sister’s. 
“You don’t have to sit between us, you know,” Jaehyun quips.
“I think the fuck I do,” Nari retorts with a snort. “This is a PG dinner with our parents you whore.”
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strawberrysturniolo · 4 months
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i love the whole ‘best friends who ‘accidentally’ had sex’ type of concept and it really fits chris 😭 like imagine attending the end of the summer cookout marylou and jimmy have every year, you and chris decide to have wine coolers because why not?
next thing you know….
never grow up // chris sturniolo
summary: you and your childhood best friend reunite after months apart. after a couple of drinks, secrets start spilling, leading to lust that has been put on the back burner for years part 2
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Chris and I have been inseparable since the day we met. With us living on the same street growing up, we were always together. If there was a picture taken of one of us as a kid, chances are the other one was in the background trying to photobomb. 
Watching Chris and his brothers make the move to LA was hard. I sat back and supported my best friend, but it sucked knowing that our fault routine of being together after school and having sleepovers was coming to an end.
It all happened so fast. One minute he was there, and the next he was gone. 
The love I have for Chris is unlike anything else in the world. I love Nick, and I adore Matt, but it’s different with Chris. We connect in different ways. We trust each other differently. I’ve never had a friendship like it, and I don’t think I ever will. We always joked about being in each other's weddings. He wanted me to stand with all the groomsmen, and I told him he could stand with the girls. 
We had our lives planned together, and I never thought I’d have to see us fade away from each other. 
We try to talk as much as possible, but with his ridiculous sleep schedule mixed with his work life and time zones, it’s mostly scattered snapchats that keep us from forgetting what the other person looks like. 
A tradition growing up was going to his house for the end of the year cookout. When we were little we would play in the pool, seeing who could collect the most shark toys and torpedoes that we launched into the bottom, and as we got older it turned into chicken fights, then us floating around the pool, asking each other questions about life. 
“Do you ever think about what would happen if your husband didn’t like me?” he had asked me on a sunny day in Massachusetts when we were 16. 
“Yeah,” I said, dragging my hand through the water to cool myself down. “I’d tell him to fuck himself, and if he doesn’t love my best friend like a brother, then I want no part of him. You’ll always come first.”
He gave me that classic, cheesy grin of his and then splashed a wave of water against me, knocking me from my float. 
He’s not coming this year. He’s busy at work in LA. I can feel him drifting away. 
As I help his parents set up some of the food trays, I hear their side door open by the kitchen. I don’t bother looking up, knowing guests have been coming and going all day. It isn’t until two arms wrap around me from behind that my eyes shoot open. 
“Miss me?”
Chris. 
I spin around, staring at him with my jaw dropped. I can see his mom out of the corner of my eye, smiling at us. She must have known about this. I’m sure he told his mom. 
“Oh my god,” is all I can bring myself to say. My eyes start to well with tears. I haven’t seen him since last Christmas. I missed his birthday. He missed me. Our times were always off. 
He squeezed me as our bodies clung to each other. “Don’t cry, you’ll make me cry, Sunny.”
Sunny. The nickname he gave me when we were little, which came from Sunshine. We were 8, swinging on a playground. He had a bad day. We played together after school and he told me whenever he feels sad, his day always gets sunnier with me around. He always was able to make me feel loved and appreciated as his friend, and as we got older, that only grew. 
I know he loves me. He just needed to chase his dream. That doesn’t mean he loves me any less than he ever did. 
“I missed you so much,” he says, holding me even tighter than before. 
“I missed your voice.”
“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I need to make an effort to call you more. I’m just so-“
“Busy,” I finish for him. “I know.”
His face falls. “Yeah.”
I don’t want him to feel bad for what he’s doing. He deserves something so amazing. He’s worked so hard for it. 
“You’re here now though,” I smile. “Can we just pretend like you’ve been here and you never left?”
He smiles softly, nodding. “Yeah.”
I sit by his side for hours, smiling at him as he fills everyone in on what’s he’s been up to. He’s the talk of the town. Everyone is amazed to see him and his brothers do such big things. 
Everyone erupts into laughter when Chris tells his stories, and when Matt and Nick add on more anecdotes, the house is filled with pure joy and love for these boys we watched grow up. 
“I’m gonna get a drink,” Chris says, excusing himself. “You want anything?” he points to me. 
“Whatever you get for yourself is fine,” I nod, adding on a thank you before he leaves. 
He comes back with two Pepsi cans. I notice they’re already opened, but I don’t think anything of it. Knowing Chris, I fully expect him to have drank some of mine, and that’s him trying to be funny. 
My face puckers at the taste of wine in my can. 
He emptied the Pepsi out and poured wine in it instead. 
He smiles next to me, trying not to laugh. 
A memory of us from when we were 14 comes back to me, and I know that’s what he’s trying not to laugh about. 
“Chris! We can’t take their wine!”
“My parents have like 20 bottles. They never drink. These are all Christmas gifts from other people. I promise they won’t notice,” he assured me. 
I watched as he poured the glasses half full. It seemed like far too much. 
“Try it,” he said, nudging a glass to me. “It’s disgusting.”
I took a hesitant sip. This was fucking awful, but I found myself drinking more at the idea of the thrill. We were doing something we weren’t supposed to, which made the alcohol taste even better. 
A half hour later we were both stumbling up to his bedroom, and I managed to make it to the bathroom before throwing up, almost missing his toilet. 
He held my hair back and apologized for giving me alcohol. He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone we drank. And he never did. 
“Doesn’t taste as bad now, huh?” he asks, snapping me out of my memory. 
I roll my eyes and take another sip. He’s right. 
Once everyone leaves for the night, my family stays back to help Chris’ parents clean up, and my parents were offered a plethora of leftovers.
When Chris showed up, it was a no-brainer that I would be staying here tonight, so he led me upstairs while everyone else said their goodbyes. 
“Shhh,” he hushed me as my giggles flooded the hallway. I’m definitely tipsy, but I’m completely coherent. I think most of my giggles come from the fact that he’s back in Boston. I’m just giddy and happy. 
“Sorry!” I apologize anyway, even though he’s not bothered by the sound of my laughter. He smiles at it. He loves it. 
He lays out a pair of pajamas for me like he always used to. It’s an old shirt from our high school with his lacrosse number on it, and a pair of his boxers. 
I find myself thinking about the girls he had been with that were jealous of what I had with him. Me and Chris had never even kissed, so to think he would be accused of so much more with me was ridiculous. He never failed to stand up for me though. He could have the number one girl, someone perfect for him, and he’d say goodbye to him if they said one bad thing about me. 
We will always be rooting for each other no matter what. 
“Tomorrow we should actually do some stuff around town,” he says as he changes into something to sleep in. “I’ve been traveling all day and I’m so fucking tired. I just want to lay in bed.” He finishes his statement and flops down on the bed, laying his head next to my thighs.
“I really missed you, Chris. A lot,” I respond, ignoring his suggestion. 
He sits up next to me, looking down at me in his clothing. “I know, Sunshine. I missed you just as much. More, probably.” 
I felt safe with him again, a feeling that had been lost as we spent months and months apart. I craved moments like these, where we would stay up together and laugh. 
The mood in his room shifts when he says, “What ever happened with you and Aaron?”
He knows what happened. I told him before I told anyone else. 
He broke up with me with no explanation, and I was left heartbroken and confused. I wanted nothing more than a hug from Chris, but 3,000 miles kept that from happening. 
“We’re not talking anymore,” I remind him. I really don’t want to be talking about boys right now, but it seems that’s the topic of conversation that is interesting to him most. “Any girls that have your attention in LA?”
He shrugs. “Not really. They’re cool, some are cute, but I don’t know. I don’t think I wanna do anything with any of them.”
Chris has always been very anti-relationships, but that never stopped him from having his fair share of fun. He always made sure they were on the same page that it was just benefits, sometimes not even friends. I am curious what turns him away from exploring with girls in LA. “Why not?” 
“They just don’t have what I’m looking for. I want someone who understands me and what I want, but only a few people get that,” he explains. “I don’t know. I don’t want to waste my time with someone if I know from the jump that it feels like a waste. And I think about you, and how we are, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that close with anyone else. I don’t want to be. I don’t want to think about someone ever taking your place.”
“You can set limits,” I suggest. “But don’t keep yourself from meeting people because you’re worried about me feeling replaced. I won’t ever feel that way. I just want you to be happy.”
“Well, that’s not the only reason you’re a problem in it.”
There’s an ache in my chest at the thought of me being a part of a problem in his life. 
“What?”
“I just– There have been issues before… in the past… where girls have felt threatened by you,” he says, looking down at his fingers, where he picks at the dead skin nervously. “That’s not your fault by the way. It’s dumb. I just… I don’t know.”
I pull his hands away from him. “I love you, Chris.”
He smiles at me and says, “I love you too.”
Somehow, his feels different. 
I check the time on my phone, putting in beside me and announcing to him, “I’m gonna go to bed.”
Just like we always did, innocently of course, I placed the softest and quickest peck to his cheek closest to me. 
I did this as a kid, mostly because Chris would freak out if his mom didn’t give him a kiss goodnight. He insisted that it kept the bad dreams away, and he would ask me to do the same for him when he spent the night at my house. 
So I kissed his cheek like always. 
I tried to.
But Chris moved his head.
His lips graze mine. There isn’t much contact, but there’s enough for me to know that we just kissed, barely. 
He knows exactly what he just did, yet he’s looking at me like he’s shocked. 
I’m not drunk, but maybe this is acting as liquid courage. That’s what I tell myself when I fully grab my best friend’s cheeks and press my lips to his. He lets out a deep breath against me, holding the back of my neck and fisting a handful of my hair. 
What are we doing? I’m kissing my best fucking friend. My best friend of 15 years. 
I’m lost in my own head, completely out of it until I feel him lay on top of me, pinning my arms over my head with one hand as he kisses down my neck with the other. 
I lift my chin, giving him more room to kiss me.
He finishes placing wet kisses to my skin, then puts his lips back on mine. His full lips overtake mine, but we form a rhythm that has my chest tightening. He kisses me slowly, but the more tongue we add to the mix, the louder it sounds. 
We make out for some time. I lose all track of it. I don’t even know if I’m in reality anymore. My hips aimlessly lift up to try to find something to create friction against. I almost forgot who I was kissing until he pulled back and said, “We’re entering dangerous territory here, Sunshine.”
“What do you want to do then?”
He falls silent, and I fully expect him to lay down next to me and pretend this never happened.
He does the opposite. 
“I would never be doing this if it wasn’t something I had thought about for years.”
My heart feels like it’s pounding out of my chest. 
Everyone who watched us grow up together is in this house. 
And he’s pinning me down to the bed kissing me in the same room we used to play in. 
“Then do something about it,” I taunt.
He loves this invitation.
Going zero to one hundred, Chris sits up, pulling his shirt off and tossing it beside me. I’ve seen him shirtless a million times. Hell, I’ve seen his bare ass. This is different though. So much different. 
He puts his lips back on mine as his hands slide to the bare skin under my shirt. Without a second thought, I remove it, completely forgetting that I don’t have a bra on. 
His eyes focus on my body, his jaw slacked and his cheeks turning red. 
“Holy shit.”
I instinctively try to cover myself somehow. He grabs my arms and pulls them back down. 
“No no,” he shakes his head. “Let me admire you, pretty girl.”
He kisses me softly down my chest, flicking his tongue over my nipples before sucking them into his mouth, all while he’s rubbing his hand on my inner thigh.
I shift my hips, positioning his hand right over where I need him the most. He stares up at me in awe as I give him this sign of approval, and without wasting any time, he dives his hand into the boxers around me. His underwear. I mimic his movements, dropping my hand through the waistband of his shorts and swiping my thumb over the tip of his hardened cock. He winces at my touch, gasping out of desperation. 
“Please,” he whines. “Don’t start something you can’t finish. I’m begging you.”
I yank his shorts down, having the same reaction to his dick that he did to my boobs. I lay below him in shock, mostly baffled by the fact that he’s hung, but also the fact that we’re in this situation. 
When he gets nervous from my staring, he places soft kisses to my lips again, like he’s trying to put my attention elsewhere. 
“Sunshine,” he pants. “I can’t… If we’re gonna do this… I can’t wait,” he breathes out. “I need you now.”
I stroke him slowly, watching his stomach heave. “Have me then.”
In an instant he has my boxers and underwear on the floor in one fluid motion, spreading my legs and laying between them.
“Can’t believe you’ve been keeping this from me,” he whispers. He touches my dripping folds carefully, then licks his finger clean. “Fuck, you’re perfect. Always have been.”
I’m in my most vulnerable state. Not only am I naked in front of a man, but this is the guy who has watched me grow up. He has seen me through every stage of life, and now he’s about to be touching me, fucking me. 
“Chris,” I say his name quickly, urgently, like I’m running out of time to say anything.
He looks down at me, pausing from where he was lining himself up between my legs. 
I love you.
He smiles and says, “I know,” before putting my legs over his shoulders and pushing himself inside of me. 
My fist clenches a nearby pillow as my body adjusts to him stretching me out. Chris gasps out in pleasure and shock from this entire experience. He drops his face into my neck, letting me hear his soft moans as he feels me clenching, throbbing around him. 
When I give him the okay, he starts thrusting into me slowly, both of us silent, letting the sound of our skin finding each other ring in our ears. 
I’m having sex with my best friend. 
He places a kiss on my thigh, where it rests next to his face. Then, he pushes one of my legs out, spreading me open more.
“Fuck!” I cry out, the sound quickly masked by Chris’ mouth, where he places his lips over mine again to shut me up. 
“Gotta be quiet, Sunny,” he warns me. I nod, and he puts his hand over my mouth, making sure I keep the volume down. 
His dick hits every spot perfectly. His body clings to mine as our orgasms are in sight. I find myself begging for him, moaning his name, something I never would have expected from us. 
Chris sits up on his knees, pressing my knees to my chest as he pounds into me, his face staring down with a dominant gaze, watching his dick fill me as my cum drips around him.
“Fuckkk,” he groans. “Such a dirty girl.”
All self control leaves me when I don’t bother hesitating as I respond with, “Yours.”
He nods, speeding up his pace. His thrusts become sloppier, much sloppier. “All fucking mine,” he reminds me, then pulls himself out of my pussy and strokes himself through his orgasm, letting himself finish on my lower stomach.
He quickly gets a towel and cleans me up before he places his head on my boobs. My hands dig into his hair, running my hands through his loose curls. 
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Sunshine, you know that?”
I smile to myself, but I also know that we completely fucked up us ever having a normal friendship after this. 
My best friend and I fucked. 
And he doesn’t do relationships. 
“You’re my favorite,” I whisper back. 
He places a kiss to my stomach, and I can feel the smile on his face when he does so.
I don’t smile. I know that with our decision tonight, we lost one side of our relationship. 
We either become romantic and it gets fucked up and we lose a friendship too, or our friendship becomes awkward and crumbles because of this. 
Neither of us thought about that before we got ourselves tangled up in each other, and I’m doing everything I can to forget about that fear and focus on the boy I’ve been in love with for years laying on my chest. 
tag list: @secret-sturniolo @chrisloyalgf @strnilo @draculaura123 @jellybeanbby @qwertytit @55sturn @sleepysturnss @creamoncreamoncream2 @sturnvvz @swaggygirlboss123 @angelworldspost @patscorner @ducksturniolo @mattitties @luv4kozume @mbbsgf @freshloveforthefit @ripmattitude @gamermattsgf @strniololoverr @urmom2bitch @sturnitup @luvmila444 @st7rnioioss @sturniolosreads @pepsiskiess @alorsxsturn @sturniolopepsi @sturnsgasoline @sturns-posts@sstvrnioloo @strawberrymilk4k @ratatioulle @kiibichio @nickmillersn1gf @milesfordays11 @l9vesick @mattsturnzzz09 @mattnchrisworld
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adore-gregor · 2 years
Text
😶‍🌫️🥲
#met my one of my two former best friends today 😶‍🌫️🥲#i just didn't know how to react or what to do#she sat in the same train i went home with and unexpectedly i passed her while rushing the train cabins to find a free seat#she was sitting with some other girl in a seat group of four so two other seats were free#and she just said hi like nothing happened or idk maybe she found it just as awkward as I did#i also said hi as cheerful as i could maybe because i was a bit happy to see her but also i wanted to look as happy as i could idk#i was thinking what do i do now should we chat or sit with her but then she never reached out to me in 3 years so i don't need her now#as a friend in my life#but ngl i was tempted 🥲#so i just passed by#it would have been awkward anyway and apparently she thinks everything is cool or idk why she never reached out#i still do miss the friendship sometimes :(( and them or maybe it's just the memories i miss#we had been friends for like 10 years#it was the weirdest end of a friendship there was nothing no fight nothing#nothing happened#it all started with me inviting them for my birthday and them ditching me for some neighbourhood feast/party ouch 🥲#your best friends birthday is not more important than that hurts but i would have forgiven them for that#i texted them okay maybe celebrate it another time reach out to me#well they never did...#they never reached out to me again about anything i still wrote them merry christmas wishes birthday wishes whatever so maybe they remember#didn't get anything back other than a thanks or likewise#they just ghostet me like we weren't friends for so long#i guess i could have asked what's wrong but i doubt i would have gotten an answer#they are not confrontative people they probably would have been too afraid to tell me they'd rather tell me nothing#anyway i'm forever wondering what went wrong and why they did this#long time i was wondering if i did something wrong if i was a bad friend#so this might have been just as painful as a big fight to end a beautiful friendship especially the uncertainty#still miss the friendship however i don't think i need them as friends anymore#i just think it was awful from them at this point if something was wrong they should have rather told me#it's also weird now they still act friendly towards me but it feels forced to me we still follow and like each others posts on social media
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astonmartinii · 6 months
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spice up your life | lewis hamilton social media au
pairing: lewis hamilton x fem horner!reader
slam it to your left and fall in love with your dad's team's main rival, shake it to your right and cause chaos
MASTERLIST | TIPS
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yourusername
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liked by christianhorner, lewishamilton and 1,093,448 others
tagged: lewishamilton
yourusername: matcha only soz babe
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user4: they're so aesthetic i love them
user5: i need these f1 connections so my desk can look like that
lewishamilton: in matcha we trust - and almave, check it out at www.almave.com
yourusername: get that bag queen?
lewishamilton: i am just a cog in the capitalist machine
yourusername: babe you are the capitalist machine mr. millionaire
lewishamilton: all i'm gonna say is let's make sure we're in monaco when the inheritance comes in
christianhorner: i can see this?
lewishamilton: is this the point when i'm meant to say sorry?
yourusername: considering we're on the way to his house yeah probably
lewishamilton: sorry i guess
christianhorner: i'll take it for now
user6: the way dads are usually mean to their daughter's bf but it's just on crack with christian and lewis
user7: all i can think is that it must have been hell in 2021
user8: i mean lewis and y/n have been together for years so like it's probably just a running joke (for now)
maxverstappen1: i will fight you if you dare bring me a matcha latte again - I ASKED FOR A RED BULL
yourusername: girl.
maxverstappen1: don't think i can't unseat you for christian's favourite
yourusername: if it's a scrap you're asking for you're gonna get one
maxverstappen1: bring it on
lewishamilton: are you sure you guys aren't related?
yourusername: as if i'd want to be related to THAT
maxverstappen1: babe you WISH you had looks like this
lewishamilton: okay....
user9: someone free lewis
user10: i know he regularly questions how much he can take
lewishamilton: y/n is worth it :)
yourusername: love you babe x
lewishamilton
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,400,331 others
tagged: yourusername, christianhorner & gerihorner
lewishamilton: no more racing means i'm stuck with this lot
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user11: imagine getting on the tube and it's lewis and christian
user12: clearly the biggest deal here is GINGER SPICE
yourusername: you love us really
lewishamilton: i love YOU really
christianhorner: i know you love me deep down lewis
lewishamilton: i'll say yes but just because it's that time of the year
yourusername: that's the spirit !!
christianhorner: you should keep me on side you never know who is picking behind you in white elephant
lewishamilton: you WOULDN'T
christianhorner: it is my job to be able to read you and i know for a fact that you come to white elephant with the intentions to just claim the gift you bought. and because i know this i have correctly deduced the gift you have brought every year. i will claim it this year just to spite you
lewishamilton: damn. toto isn't even this level.
user13: lewis is so real for claiming his own gift at white elephant
maxverstappen1: YOU RIG WHITE ELEPHANT????
yourusername: lMAO
maxverstappen1: he is disrespecting the horner christmas traditions
lewishamilton: you're not a horner bro
maxverstappen1: @christianhorner MAKE HIM TAKE IT BACK !!! TELL HIM I'M A HONORARY HORNER NOW
christianhorner: max is a honorary horner
maxverstappen1: see !!!!!!!!! @lewishamilton you're not even a horner STONES AND GLASS AND HOUSES OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
lewishamilton: *not yet
yourusername: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
user14: idk about you but i actually live for the lil spats between all of them and y/n just watching with popcorn
user15: is he teasing an ENGAGEMENT
user16: i mean they've been together for years we've been waiting
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christianhorner
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christianhorner: happy birthday to one of the greatest of all time in our sport and the love of my daughter's life. i can't say i was overjoyed by her choice in a boyfriend when i first found out, but you guys are perfect for each other! happy birthday and don't have too much fun
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user17: annual toto and christian truce on lewis' birthday
user18: i know lewis and y/n are just chuckling to themselves when they once again purposefully sit christian and toto together
user19: plus george and max together
lewishamilton: thank you christian, i hope to annoy you on track as much as i do off track this season!
yourusername: i don't think his blood pressure can take that babe
christianhorner: i am not that old
yourusername: if that's what you wanna hear... sure!
christianhorner: i wanted this to be a happy post don't make me call in max
yourusername: ... you wouldn't?
maxverstappen1: i'm already here dumbass
lewishamilton: of course you are
maxverstappen1: i was going to say happy birthday but i'm always down to tussle with y/n
yourusername: i will read your ass for filth
lewishamilton: and i will help :)
maxverstappen1: fine. you win this round birthday boy and other one
user20: i hope they keep up this bit forever
yourusername: *happy birthday to the sexiest guy in the world. there fixed it for you
christianhorner: that would be quite inappropriate for me to say
lewishamilton: i see how it is christian
yourusername: don't worry babe the most important horner thinks you're sexy and that's all that matters
lewishamilton: i love you too, you're definitely the sexiest horner
maxverstappen1: max verstappen erasure
yourusername: FUCK OFF
user21: can christian just adopt max already?
lewishamilton: don't give him any ideas
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lewishamilton
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tagged: yourusername
lewishamilton: can you guys stop fucking yelling at me now. jokes, i just got engaged to the love of my life, it doesn't get any better than this (though if your dad and quasi-brother wanna let me win a race i'd be thankful)
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user25: crying like it's my own two kids getting married oh my
user26: the dress is going to be so fucking beautiful i can't wait !!
yourusername: haven't stopped crying, i love you so much
lewishamilton: i love you more
yourusername: NOT POSSIBLE
lewishamilton: i'd be prepared to swear it in a court of law
yourusername: i'd be prepared to literally carve it into my body
lewishamilton: .... babe
yourusername: too far?
lewishamilton: probably, but i appreciate the notion
user27: do we wanna put bets on whether max is going to be nice or a goblin?
maxverstappen1: congratulations assface i guess you really are gonna be a horner before me
lewishamilton: your happiness is really translating through the screen
maxverstappen1: despite popular opinion, i am very happy for you guys and i am very grateful that you treat me like family xoxo
maxverstappen1: okay that's enough being nice, save me a slice of cake or your ass is grass
yourusername: awwww maxy i knew you loved us really!!
maxverstappen1: maybe enough to make me best man?
yourusername: not best man... but you could be my man of honour
maxverstappen1: WHAT ??? FOR REAL ??? DON'T FUCK WITH ME Y/N I'LL CRY
lewishamilton: as much as you annoy me, we'd love you to be part of our day
georgerussell63: max in the wedding party and i'm not... i won't hesitate to get toto on the phone
lewishamilton: I JUST PROPOSED CAN EVERYONE HOLD THEIR HORSES FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS
user28: so real of you lewis
christianhorner: congratulations!! i can't wait for the big day and for you to finally be a part of the family - JOINT CHRISTMAS I EXPECT EVERYONE THERE THIS YEAR
user29: okay someone check this man's tea
yourusername: thank you dad xxx love you lots
lewishamilton: thank you christian, i will pass on the christmas message
yourusername
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yourusername: *fiance
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user29: the first pic? she on f1 twt or what?
lewishamilton: biggest honour eva
yourusername: nuh uh i'm marrying a knight DOES THAT MAKE ME A PRINCESS
lewishamilton: you're already a princess to me
yourusername: yeah i love you and all that but will the crown recognise me
lewishamilton: probably not ...
yourusername: lol screw them team diana forever
maxverstappen1: insufferable as always
yourusername: i will DESTROY you in a tickle battle when i next see you, consider that a warning
maxverstappen1: i'd like to see you try
yourusername: my new ring makes my slap a hell of a lot stronger btw
maxverstappen1: we get it you're getting married gosh
yourusername: you better get used to it unless you don't want to be man of honour anymore...
maxverstappen1: NO I DO
lewishamilton: this is great i'm gonna hang that over him every time he fucks me over in qualifying
maxverstappen1: UGH
christianhorner: do NOT forget dinner tonight, everyone has come (even the distant ones you didn't know about)
yourusername: we'll be there
lewishamilton: how many are we talking?
lewishamilton: i mean... i can't wait!!
lewishamilton
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tagged: mercedesamgf1
lewishamilton: finally got the 104 - i think the ring was good luck xx
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user30: WAR IS OVER HOLY FUCK THANK THE LORD
yourusername: falsehoods it was all you baby
lewishamilton: maybe it was the fact you had a merc cap on rather than that nasty ass red bull hat
yourusername: lewis !!
christianhorner: back winning and immediately on the offensive, i see
lewishamilton: i am ... sorry. got a lil excited - y/n does look best in my colours
christianhorner: i am obviously going to disagree
yourusername: can't we all be happy !!
christianhorner: after debrief and out of a 60 mile radius of toto wolff then yes
user31: can they get engaged every week please?
georgerussell63: so like i defended for you... can i be in the wedding party now?
yourusername: no?
maxverstappen1: HA
georgerussell63: lewis???
lewishamilton: i do what y/n says soz
georgerussell63: traitor. can carmen and i at least get front three rows at the ceremony?
yourusername: keep your nose away from any red bulls and maybe
christianhorner: that's my daughter :)
user32: imagine going into a coma in like 2015 and seeing brocedes is dead and buries and lewis and y/n HORNER are engaged even despite AD21
user33: why isn't this the focus of drive to survive?
yourusername: we're too sexy for netflix .... but we would do our own limited series for a price
lewishamilton: and you called me the capitalist machine ... ok
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fin.
note: here it is my last WIP !! i haven't written for lewis in so long and i loved the dynamics in this (i think you can tell that i love max, considering he ends up in everything i write lol). so this also means... the requests are open !! i've already had exciting ones but feel free to send in more. also mamma mia p6 is now in the works as well. december is gonna be super busy for me (it's my birthday on the fifth) but hopefully i'll get some christmas themed ones out for all yall that celebrate !!
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wakeup01 · 5 months
Text
Two Twinks, One Wish
“So Charlie, what did you wish for Christmas?”
“Really? Can we just watch the movie?” I say, annoyed.
Daniel had been my boyfriend for about a month now and had recently moved into my flat, just in time for Christmas. Since then things had been a struggle, he would continually whine about my inadequacies - how I didn’t tidy enough, didn’t appreciate him and most of all how I was a terrible top.
See, the problem was, we were both twinks. We had the same skinny body type, with barely any muscle definition. The only real difference being he had the better ass. Admittedly, I had a severe lack of confidence in the bedroom, frequently failing to get in the mood. Daniel on the other hand was very particular about what he liked and what he expected.
“Come on! You must be able to think of something. God knows there’s enough things you can be better at…” Daniel chastised.
Even now he had turned a harmless movie night into another chance to take petty digs. We were on the couch watching some cheesy xmas film, where the protagonist makes wishes that magically come true. Now he was insisting for me to make some stupid wish.
“Why don’t you go first? You seem to have a lot of ideas in mind.” I shoot back, not taking my eyes off the screen.
“Hmm, I got the perfect one! Charlie, I wish… you were a better top!” He laughs and nudges into my shoulder.
I roll my eyes, of course, I should of guessed this is where things were heading. Ugh. Out of nowhere I feel a chill wash over my whole body and a tightness take hold in my chest. After a moment the feeling subsides.
“Very funny. Have you been thinking that one up all night.” My voice dripping in sarcasm.
I shift in my seat slightly, a dull warmth emanating from my crotch. I must be feeling unwell, I’m definitely not being turned on by his degrading remarks. But the heat doesn’t fade, in fact it only grows in intensity. I get the impulse to grope at my growing bulge, the tightness straining against my jeans. Daniel would never live it down If I did, but it was becoming rather uncomfortable.
“You look a little flustered there… ah. I see. Are you really getting horny from this? Christ, you’re pathetic.” Daniel scolds, reaching his hand down.
Before I can object he unzips my trousers and pulls down the waistband of my briefs. My cock bursts forth and slaps against my chest, pre already leaking from it’s tip. Except it’s not my cock, this monster is almost twice my normal size. And my balls are inflating in front of my very eyes.
“What the hell?” I shout.
“Woah, oh shit, it’s working. It’s a Christmas miracle!” He exclaims in barely contained glee.
“Daniel, what did you do!” My voice cracks.
My dick continues to snake up my torso, going from 5 inches, to 7 then to 8. As it grows, so does my hornyness, overpowering my head as I fall into a drunken stupor. This is the most intense erection I’ve ever felt. My hand rubs up and down the entire length and I attempt to wrap my fingers around it, before discovering its girth is now thicker than my hand.
“Nice cock ‘bro’. Good tops are well equipped downstairs. And now, you are too. Hahaha” I look over and see him smirk at me.
He’s enjoying this far too much for my liking, but I’m in no position to fight back. Why did he make that stupid wish, I better not be stuck with this forever. At this point I don’t think my cock would even fit into any underwear I own. How exactly can I walk around with this thing swinging between my legs.
“You know who makes good tops? Jocks. That cocky attitude and carefree nature, coasting through life without thinking.” Daniel suggests, wistfully.
Jocks are also narcissistic morons. And I’m certainly not going to be one just to be a better ‘top’. I’m suddenly distracted by a chafing from my rear, a pair of straps seem to be cupping the cheeks of my tight butt. Below my balls now sits a stained pouch, the smell of musk rising from it hits my nose and I recoil.
“I think it’s jockstraps only from now on Charlie. And woof, sweaty ones at that.”
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All of my senses are being overpowered, it’s like my head is in a vice that keeps on tightening. The film in front of me becomes a blur, my focus shattered by the intense pleasure from my new cock.
“Cock.” I blurt out.
I hear Daniel laughing from out of view.
My head is starved of oxygen as all the blood rushes to my groin, I’ve never been this horny before. I feel the strangest sensation as my brain thickens, filling up with throbbing meat. All the space padded out until I’m holding up a heavy dumbbell on the end of my neck. My thoughts were still there, somewhere, but it took so long to find them. It was quicker and easier to just embrace jockdom, stop worrying so much and just go along with the flow. If I was unsure of what to say then bro, I’d just say ‘bro’! A bro can fill in sentences with ‘bro’ and everyone will know what a bro they are. And bro? Being labeled as a dumb bro means no one expects anything meaningful from me. Brawn over brains is the mantra of my life dude.
“Jock’s also like to wear their bro-hood on their sleeves, and in your case, quite literally.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth I feel a sharp pain, as if a hundred needles are stabbing down my arm. I brace myself before glancing down. And there it was, 🍖 the meat emoji tattooed on my left hand. Huhhuh, awesome bro. Branded a meathead for life.
“Bro?” I ask slowly, my voice now considerably deeper.
“Yeah ‘Chad?’” Daniel emphasises.
The name immediately sticks to me like glue. Chad. I am such a Chad. I have some distant recollection of being someone else, but I can’t be bothered to search my brain for it. There’s a more pressing concern.
“Bruh, I need to empty my balls.” I grunt. The pressure from my engorged member becoming unbearable.
“Then you know what to do. Good muscle tops have their cocks milked every day.”
I grip my cock and begin pumping in earnest, my jaw hanging open. As I masturbate, my hands and arms bulk up with muscle. I see my veins very noticeably pop out. I feel a desperate urge to flex, letting one hand go from my dick. I ball it into a fist and raise it to the side of my head, squeezing my biceps. My arm pulses with meat, sending a vain satisfaction to my pleasure center.
“Good dumb tops spend all their time in the gym or on the field. Sculpting their body into the perfect chiselled shape.” His nasally voice instructs.
Muscle continues to form all over my lithe frame; my shoulders broaden and my chest ripples into a tight 6 pack. My clothes are loudly ripped to shreds. Memories enter my head of spending hours working out, of hanging with the other jocks and forming a vacant facade of a personality. Sweat drips from my hairy armpits, staining the couch under me. The room quickly starts smelling like a gym, my rank feet tearing free from my socks. My face cracks as it squares out into a more defined outline, brow growing heavy above my distant eyes. My body is now taking up most of the couch as Daniel budges over to the side. I quicken my pace, pumping now with both hands. My balls tighten.
“Fuck yeah brah.” I roar, reaching climax.
My cock spurts rope after rope of musky cum directly at my face, I’m left covered in my own seed. Daniel leans over to me and begins to eagerly lick at my face. He savours my taste on his tongue before swallowing. The sign of an expert bottom, huhuhu.
“Mmm. Great Tops know how to take control. And you’re a great top Chad.” Daniel moans in lust.
He’s right.
“Dude, this film is fucking dull. I’m changing to the sports channel bro. There’s a sick game playing today.” My hands take the remote and switch to a noisy football game.
I grab Daniels’s tiny little body and force him onto my lap. I flex again and push his face into my armpit. His tongue drags along my wiry dank hair. He moves his hand between my legs and starts passionately fingering his hungry ass hole, using my cum as lube. I hear him panting heavily like a dog. Man, my boyfriend is such a whiny brat…
“Bro, it’s my turn.” My cocky voice booms.
“What?” I hear his muffled voice cry out.
“Uhh… I wish… I wish you were a Bro like me, Bro.” I smirk.
“Wait, noooo!” He screams.
His body shudders and contorts as I hold his face to my pits with my newfound strength. He packs on pounds of muscle in a matter of seconds. Dan’s moaning turns to grunts. He’s going to make for such a Good. Arrogant. Dumb. Bro.
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I watch his dong stretch down his leg, his balls sagging between his thickening thighs. The head of Dan’s veiny cock leaking like a faucet. A pair of juicy pecs push out from his chest and his adam apple swells. I pull away the remains of his clothes, letting them fall to the ground.
Dan’s dainty feet beef up to a size 12, sweat gathering between his toes - smelling like a real man should. I feel his previously fat bubble butt tense with lean muscle on my lap. With a squeak, his thoroughly abused fuck hole tightens shut, never to be stretched open again. He only tops after all, like me.
I release my grip on him and he pulls away, my sweat covering his square jawed face. He stuffs his junk into a jockstrap, looking barely concealed as it throbs with need. His messy hair has receded into a clean as fuck buzzcut. We now look almost identical, except that his meat emoji 🍖 tattoo is engraved on his right hand.
“Bro!” Dan’s voice deepens.
“Let’s go find some sluts to breed, bro.” We both smirk at each other and flex.
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Text
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DATING PERCY JACKSON HC'S
paring: percy jackson x athena!fem!reader
warnings: swearing
a/n: this is my first time doing hc's so i decided to get it out of the way! (its scary cause like i don't wanna disappoint 😭) so if you have any tips or anything lemme know!!
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you and percy are like the it couple of camp
like seriously when you two finally (key word being finally) got together the entire camp was rejoicing that you two idiots finally admitted your feelings
you were the two most oblivious people on the planet (percy mostly)
but now you're together its no longer stealing glances in secret but openly gazing at the other and getting distracted in the middle of sparring *cough* percy *cough*
its stealing kisses in between activities
curling up in bed with stolen snacks from the camp store and books
BOOKS
percy's battle against your love for your book boyfriends is a constant war...
and when he introduced you to sally via iris message sally LOVED you on sight
you basically spent the entire time talking to her trash talking percy
percy who had a scowl on his face the entire time
you guys are iconic
if the campers were asked to think of their fav couple in the modern world they'd instantly think of you two
percy and y/n, y/n and percy, you're a package deal
you're like the mom and dad of camp honestly
whenever you fight (which isn't often) the campers whisper to each other "mommy and daddy are fighting again"
the campers knowing smirks whenever they see you both leaving a cabin flustered and dishevelled after making out do
ABOSLUTELY NOTHING to stop you both
percy offers to bring you home for christmas knowing your history with a non-existent family
you had excitedly thrown yourself into his arms squealing "yes!"
you had been a ball of nerves for the last few days of camp
when percy brought you home for the holidays you were ecstatic
so was he really
percy being the lovesick puppy he is, basically just followed you around where ever you wanted to go
that included nearly all the bookstores in the area.
you had happily strolled through the store and passing percy every book you wanted saying
"omigoshpercy! look at this cover!" and then scurrying over to the next book "i've been wanting this one forever!"
percy has a shit eating grin on his face the entire time
he's just happy you're happy
sally was overjoyed when you arrived whipping you into a flurry of warm hugs and smiles
you'd honestly never felt more at home
one night you and percy are curled up on the couch under a blanket reading a book with percy muttering how he was clearly much better than this dumbass
who both stay that way for a while, percy occasionally placing kisses on your temple.
that is the night you first say i love you.
when you say it out loud percy's eyes widen and he flips around so he's facing you
"I love you."
now you've never felt more at home
percy thinks of you as a literal goddess
he worships the ground you walk on
and when you said i love you, that practically just cements his obsession with you
when sally walked in on you two to offer you some dinner she smiles when she sees you asleep on percy's shoulder, percy mouths
"what?" so he doesn't wake you up.
"you really like her, don't you?"
percy nods staring adoringly at you. "yeah i kinda do."
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a/n pt2: i actually had so much fun making these so let me know if you'd ever want more hc's!!
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solarmorrigan · 9 months
Text
TW: Discussion of suicide, suicidal ideation, child neglect. Nothing happens in the fic (all hurt/comfort, I promise), but it's very frankly talked about, so please proceed with care <3
-
It takes three weeks.
(In reality, it takes longer than that. It takes until after Steve realizes he’s spending more time at Eddie and Wayne’s new place than he is at his own house. It takes until after Eddie has asked Steve to just move in with them already. It takes until after Steve has packed his things up, and carefully cleaned up the house, and set the thermostat, and informed the pool cleaners, and paid a neighbor to check the mail every few days, and – he hadn’t felt right, just leaving, even though Eddie had repeatedly told him he didn’t owe anyone anything. But it had taken until after all of that, and then–)
Steve had left them a note, a new number where he could be reached, and it had taken three weeks before they came looking. Before they even noticed.
It isn’t a fight, in the end.
His parents are angry that he’d just up and left the house, but they’re much less so when he explains everything he’d set in place before he’d gone.
They want to know if he’ll be asking them for anything else after this (not if he’s safe, not if he’s happy, just if he’s going to keep being a burden).
He tells them no.
And that’s– that’s it.
That’s it.
His mom tells him they’ll call him around Christmas, let him know if they’ll be in town, and then his parents just let him go.
They get up and they leave his living room and they leave his home and they leave Steve’s life and they leave and they don’t look back and they– well, they’d left a long time ago, hadn’t they? A long, long time ago.
Steve is sitting at the end of Eddie’s bed (his and Eddie’s bed, now, their bed; Steve’s still getting used to that, but in a good way), feeling the sort of empty he hasn’t felt since he was seventeen. He’s just sort of staring at the carpet, and then he’s staring at Eddie’s ridiculous polka dot socks as Eddie steps in front of him.
“Hey,” Eddie says softly. “You, uh… okay?”
It’s kind of a ridiculous question – the answer is obvious, and Eddie clearly knows that, but it’s a way to start a conversation without shouting, “Your parents are ungrateful pieces of shit who never appreciated you,” like he probably wants to (and has before), and Steve appreciates his restraint.
He nods a little, stops, shrugs.
“I kind of thought I was over this,” he says. “Over feeling… left behind by them. Shouldn’t still hurt, right?”
“It’s– it’s okay if it does. It’s shit, Steve. They’re shit,” Eddie says (yep, Steve called it). “You’re allowed to be hurt.”
Steve shrugs again.
“It’s funny,” he says, even though it isn’t, “but I used to wonder how long it would take them to notice if I died.”
He’d never had an active plan, really, though there had been plenty of ways around the house to accomplish the task. He’d never really even looked at it as being suicidal, just angry and bitter and lonely. He hadn’t felt miserable all the time, hadn’t felt like there was nothing in the world worth living for – it’s not like he’d been depressed, it had just been a wild, almost satisfying thought that occurred from time to time. The ultimate way to prove a point. To make them see.
And if the urge got too strong, and his head got too full, and his chest felt too hollow, and the house felt too empty, he’d just go out and find something to do. Simple as that.
“I wondered if it would only be a day or two, or if they would come home, like, weeks later and find what was left of me just… floating in the pool or rotting in the bathtub or some shit. And I guess I just got my answer.” He laughs, managing to sound completely humorless even in the attempt, and glances up at Eddie. “Three weeks. How decomposed do you think I’d be by now?”
Except Eddie doesn’t pick up the bit. He’s just staring at Steve, wide-eyed, cheeks a little red, eyes a little wet, and – shit.
“Shit, Ed, I didn’t–”
“Don’t,” Eddie cuts in, voice thick with a shaking kind of intensity, “say shit like that. Fucking don’t ever– Steve–”
“No, Eddie, I’m sorry, I haven’t thought about that in years, this whole thing with my parents, it just… it reminded me, that’s all,” Steve says, even if that isn’t strictly true.
He’s thought about it plenty, he just hasn’t really had the urge to follow through since the first time he took a bat to a demogorgon’s head. He’d traded that empty feeling for one of purpose, of knowing he was needed, and had readily put himself between everyone else and the danger they were facing, because at least that way he filled a space.
(Maybe he’d traded it a little too easily. Maybe there isn’t a lot of difference between using yourself as bait to lure in a demodog and thinking about where all the sharp things are in the house. Maybe that’s something Steve doesn’t need to unpack right now.)
Eddie stumbles forwards, reaching out and cupping Steve’s face in his hands, angling him upwards so Eddie fills his field of vision.
“I would notice,” Eddie says firmly. “I would notice.”
“I– I know you would, Eddie. I told you–”
“Robin would notice. Dustin – all those little shits we hang out with, both Wheelers, Wayne, fuckin’ Byers– we would notice right away, Steve, I swear to fuck, we would,” Eddie goes on, and something is suddenly sticking in Steve’s throat.
“I– I know,” Steve manages to choke out, and shit, why are his eyes wet now? He’s never cried over this feeling before, and it should be too fucking late to start now – except with everything happening, with his parents, with the way Eddie is staring at him like he’s about to disappear–
Eddie bends one leg up until he’s got a knee to one side of Steve’s hip, half-kneeling over him without boxing him in because he knows Steve can’t stand that, and he rests his weight there so he can lean in and press his lips to Steve’s forehead, kissing him, murmuring against the skin like he’s praying.
“We see you, baby.”
And that one hurts.
It fucking aches, like Eddie has somehow managed to reach back four years and jam a thumb into the bruise seventeen-year-old Steve had constantly been carrying under his ribs, and Steve of right now reaches out and grabs Eddie’s shirt and thinks for a moment that he wants to shove him away, but his next breath heaves out like a sob and he can only pull Eddie closer.
“We see you,” Eddie says again, soft but unignorable, before he presses another kiss to Steve’s forehead.
Yeah, Steve thinks, you see right through me.
It’s a terrifying feeling, and Steve wants to swallow it up and keep inside of him where he can feel it forever. He nods against Eddie’s lips, sucking in a sharp breath so he can speak again.
“Okay,” Steve says, clutching more tightly to Eddie’s shirt. “Okay.”
He closes his eyes against the unwanted tears and lets himself feel, instead – the warmth of Eddie over and around him, the near bruising grip Eddie still has on his jaw, the softness of his lips against his forehead, and he thinks that this is what he’d been searching for, all those years ago.
He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this wanted, and somehow he doubts he’ll ever have to worry about going without it again.
[Prompt: Forehead kisses]
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