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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

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What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Physical injuries, cursing

Summary: An argument gone out of hand. Y/N just wanted Katsuki to be home more. They’re married and yet she barely sees him throughout the week. When she finally speaks on her hurt feelings, she gets a reaction she definitely wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

A/N:.....I cried while writing this.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

‘He’s gone already. Again. Like always.’

Y/N had awoken to another empty bed. Her husband’s side of the mattress remained cold and empty. This wasn’t anything new. It’s been like this for the past few months. She would wake up alone, eat breakfast alone, spend her day alone, eat dinner alone, and go back to sleep at the end of the day...alone.

It’s not that Katsuki is intentionally ignoring Y/N. He loves her with his everything, he truly does! But villains never rest and neither does he. He’s so preoccupied with hero work that when he does get a day off, his friends drag him away to a bar or game night. Y/N always ran through his head but she had always been so understanding. And besides, she knows how busy the life of a pro is. She used to be one so she gets it. Right?

Wrong. She doesn’t get it. Because even when she was a pro, her and Katsuki always found time for each other. And ever since said man made her quit, claiming he could take care of both of them easily and he would feel better knowing his beloved is safe at home, they’ve seen each other less and less. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Y/N was willing to quit her dream because she found a new dream in Katsuki. She always imagined that being his little housewife would give them more time together but the opposite of that came true. Now she sits in the big empty house with no company for hours on end.

Her sadness builds up every day. She misses her husband. She tries to be an understanding wife but at this point, it’s like he’s not even trying to make an effort to see her. It’s like he’s settled to just coming home to her sleeping form and waking up to her in the exact same state, leaving before he can witness her do anything else. He should understand her though, no? I mean, she had brought it up to him in a very casual way and so he never took it seriously, but she’s mentioned it before. He should have a pretty vivid image of how shes been feeling. Right?

After 6 months of loneliness and being ‘Katsuki-deprived,’ Y/N made her move to speak to her husband about her feelings. She already imagined the outcome. An argument due to Katsuki’s brash behavior and her ‘never back down’ attitude, sad times bringing in the silent treatment for the two of you up until the both of you give in and forgive each other due to the love you have. Finally ending in a compromise. Y/N released a heavy breath as she looked at the time.

1:36 a.m. Just a few more minutes until Katsuki’s home.

—

He was pissed. 3 large scale bank robberies, 10 villain-wannabe fights, an argument with his publicist about his ‘out of line attitude,’ and Deku replacing him on a random ass billboard. The last detail wouldn’t have mattered if it was anybody else but the fact that it was Deku had him riled up. He just wanted to go home to a quiet house with his beautiful wife and admire her gorgeous, slumbering state. However that was not what he was greeted with.

Katsuki grumbled as he unlocked the front door and walked in. He noticed the lights were still on and saw Y/N still awake, seated on the couch. On any other day, he’d be elated to see his wife was still up. They’d talk and cuddle and go to sleep together. If he was lucky, they’d both make love until the sun rose. But tonight, that wouldn’t be happening. He wanted a quiet house with his sleeping wife. Not..whatever was about to happen. He sighed as he dropped his bag at the front door and sloppily placed his keys in the glass bowl near the door.

“What’re you doing up dumbass?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He needed a drink.

“I was waiting for you, Katsuki. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you said in a soft voice, hoping it would suppress his for sure incoming anger. Katsuki closed the fridge with a kick to the heavy door and chugged down a quarter of his drink.

“I’m not in the mood. Had a shitty day and I wanna sleep. Just go to bed.” He said sternly while trying to finish his beer as fast as he could.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done that hours ago? I wouldn’t have stayed up and waited for you if this wasn’t important. Please Katsuki, I really wanna talk.” Bakugou was beginning to grow annoyed. Why wouldn’t you just drop it already? He squeezed his bottle hard enough for it too crack before he spoke with a louder voice.

“Y/N! You’re not listening! I’m tired. I had a horrible day and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to stay up anymore, and I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to complain and bitch about like you always do!” He screamed. His words made your jaw drop.

“Not listening?! That’s all I do! All I do is listen to your every command so that you come home happy-“

“Well it looks like you failed today!” He said, cutting you off.

“Quit interrupting! And what was it that you said?! All I do is bitch and complain?! I’m trying to talk to you about something serious here Katsuki!” You pleaded, still hoping he would give in and listen. And he did...just not in the way you’d expect.

“Fine then! If this’ll get you to quit being an annoying ass waste of time, then speak! Talk! What the hell do you want?!” He asked, screaming at you, furious at all the dramatics you’ve brought up in one night.

His words kind of stung. ‘Annoying ass? Waste of time? Is this what he thinks I am?’ You grew silent at his insults and Katsuki seethed even more.

“Oh what? I scream at you and you bitch up? Toughen up Y/N, jeez. Quit acting like a baby! Tell me what you wanted to say!” He yelled.

“.......I just....I just wanted you to spend some time with me. .....Be home more.” You said in a quiet and broken voice. You looked down to the now very interesting floor as you played with your hands.

“Seriously? This shit again? I’m a pro-hero, Y/N! I’m busy! I’m not gonna drop saving lives just because your brat ass wants someone to notice you! Since when were you such an attention whore?” He asked while rolling his neck to relieve his strained muscles. Your eyes widen at the ground due to his words and your head snapped back up to face him.

“A-attention whore? I-...I just want my husband to stop working so much. I don’t know..maybe have a day off or two!” She said with a crinkled nose as you screamed.

“I do have days off, Moron. It’s why I’m not overworked, ever thought about that?!” He screamed back.

“And you spend those days off away from me! I’m not trying to act like the world revolves around me but I would hope my own husband would spend a day with me instead of his friends that he ALWAYS sees because you ALL WORK TOGETHER!” You argued. You made a valid point and even Katsuki knew that, but he was too stubborn to admit defeat. He was still tired but he had enough energy to put you back in your place. His eyes popped as a vein grew on his neck.

“Well- WELL YOU’RE ONCE AGAIN JUST BITCHING AND COMPLAINING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET!” He screamed.

“Don’t understand?! You know what? I know you don’t because you never listen to-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WASNT DONE TALKING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND THE HOUSE, LAZING AROUND, DOING NOTHING BUT TRY TO ARGUE WITH-“

“LAZING AROUND?!” You shouted in disbelief. “WHO MAKES YOUR MEAL PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE SO YOU CAN ENJOY IT AT WORK AND IN THE MORNING? WHO CLEANS THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERYDAY WHILE YOU’RE GONE? WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A FULL FRIDGE, CLEAN HOUSE, GOOD FOOD, AND A HAPPY LIFE? ME KATSUKI! ME!”

“Happy life? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU BITCH?! NEWSFLASH, IM NOT! SO CONGRATS Y/N! YOU FAILED ONCE AGAIN! AND WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU PLAY MAID WHILE IM AWAY?! IM BUSY SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS BE A GOOD WIFE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN BE A FUCKING PRO ANYMORE!” He insulted again.

“because of FUCKING YOU!” You argued once more.

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” He said while throwing his bottle to the wall, causing it to shatter. “I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL BITCH ASS! I PAY THE BILLS! I BRING HOME THE CASH! I GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, CLOTHES, AND ANY OTHER STUPID SHIT YOU WANT! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I STUFF YOUR STUPID CUNT TO PLEASURE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. AT THIS POINT, YOU’RE JUST A WALKING HOLE FOR ME TO USE!”

His words hurt. They broke your heart. Did he really feel this way? If so, why was he even with you anymore. You notice a smirk grow on his face at your bewildered state. He looked as if he just won something. However, the smirk dropped into a scowl once he saw your eyes begin to pool with tears.

“Oh great! Cry! Go ahead! Just shed your fucking tears like you always do! I’m going to bed! Come join me when you’re done being an annoying bitch.” He said and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. You didn’t want the conversation to go this way and there was no conclusion. You needed this to be resolved now. You just wanted your husband back. You reached out to stop him from walking but the unforeseen happened.

“Katsuki..don’t walk away from thi-“

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He said and smacked your arms away with a burning palm. Without realizing, Katsuki began to spark his quirk and so when he went in to push you away, he burned your forearm.

A loud blast and smoke filled the room and your screams of pain invaded his ears. The sound made a shocked face grow on him as he quickly turned to see the damaged he had caused. His heart sank as he saw you crying while holding your burnt arm with your other hand. You were slightly hunched over in pain as you took notice of the damage that had been caused. That he caused.

“Y/N!” Bakugou softly shouted as he ran to you. He wanted to help but before he could even lay a finger on you, you flinched. The action caused him to hesitate and hold himself back. He ran to the kitchen sink to get a cold rag and he brought it back to you. “Baby! I am so sor-“

You pushed him away and off of you as you quickly walked to your bedroom with a shadow casted over your eyes. Tears still flowed down your cheeks as sniffles could be heard from your cherry red nose. Katsuki couldn’t believe what he just did and ran to follow you.

“Y/N! Please listen! I didn’t mean it! I don’t know how that happened Teddy Bear but I swear I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I said! I’m sor-“

*SLAM* *click!*

Katsuki realized he followed you out the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and to the entrance of the master bedroom you both shared before you slammed the door and locked it right in his face.

“Baby! Please open the door!” He said while knocking in a very rushed manner. He wanted nothing more than to help you and treat the damage he caused to his beloved wife. He had royally fucked up. He began turning and jiggling the locked knob in an attempt to get it open but failed. “Please Y/N! I have to take care of you and that burn. I’m so sorry but please let me in!”

On the other side of the door, you pressed your back against it as you held in your sobs and slid to the bottom. You pulled both lips in to conceal your voice while you held your wrist to examine the burn on your arm. It was so bad. Your skin turned an angry shade of red as it blistered and bled. You were dripping blood all over your carpeted floor and so you ran to the master bathroom in the bed room.

You turned on the sink and placed your forearm under the cold, running water. The water soothed it a bit but it wasn’t enough to cover the pain. You turned off the sink and grabbed a hand rag as you patted down on your wound. You took out the first aid kit and cared for yourself. You had to take the alcohol to clean it and sucked in a breath before you poured the solution over the burn. You screamed as it seemed to have hurt 10x more. After dabbing cotton over it, you wrapped it in bandages and took a breath of relief.

‘What just happened?’ You thought to yourself.

The entire time, Katsuki was still begging for you to open up. He heard your scream and grew frantic. He banged on the door and cried for you, still hoping, praying, that you would let him in. When nothing happened, he resorted back to calling out for you but to no avail.

About an hour went by and it was almost 4 in the morning. You sat on the bed with your arms holding your knees to your chest. You stared at the wrap as the memories of what went down tonight flashed through your brain.

‘Waste of time...brat ass...attention whore...ungrateful...annoying bitch.’

His words struck you right in your heart. Cruel thoughts began to fill your head.

‘He doesn’t love me. He hates me. I’m worthless.’ Your thoughts would’ve continued until a quiet knock snapped you out of you mind.

“....Y/N?...Baby?” It was Katsuki of course, but a softer version of him. A broken one. “..I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re awake..but I need you to know that I’m so so sorry.” It was easy to hear his muffled and staggered voice that exposed his tears and sobs. “If I could turn back time right now, I would do tonight all over again, I swear. I would’ve came home and listened to you. And we could’ve talked things out. We would’ve came out of this problem being a stronger couple than we were before...because that’s what we always do. We always make it out of the dark together..because we’re a team..and I need you. .....Please...please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you so much. ‘M so sorry that I hurt you..that I burned you..that I’m such a terrible husband. But I promise you I’ll fix everything in the morning...................Teddy Bear?”

He didn’t know it, but you were listening. You heard every word but refrained from speaking. You knew that the second you did, you’d break down and go crawling back to him....but you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to leave. He physically burned you and you wanted to leave. You were going to sleep for a few hours, and when you would awaken, you would pack a bag and leave. And so, you began your plan and tried to get some sleep as tear streaks marked your face. It would all be over soon.

You woke up to the morning sun.

6:50 a.m.

You rose out of bed and rubbed at your puffy eyes. You quietly got ready in the bathroom and applied the slightest bit of makeup to look more presentable. You took out a pair of shoes and tossed them to the center of the room. You were in your closet and pulled out a bag. You stuffed it full of a few clothes for you to wear, you couldn’t stay here. Not after what he did. You fought through the pain as you pulled on your jacket and placed your shoes on. You wiped your tears as you picked up your purse and got ready to leave. You were going to stay in a hotel. Didnt matter where or how expensive. You just needed to get away.

Finally, you walked to the exit of the bedroom. You took a breath before you slowly turned the knob and was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Bakugou. He had slept in the hallway in front of the bedroom, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His knees were scrunched up with his arms resting there to be used as a pillow. He layed his head atop of his arms and as you looked down into his hands, you saw the rag. The exact rag from the argument. The rag that he attempted to use to help you. Little did you know, Bakugou hadn’t planned on getting rid of it until you let him use it to help you. He wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake and cater to you and your wound.

You shook your head as you felt tears began to fill your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You took a step and sadly awoken the exact man you were trying to avoid. Bakugou had quickly woken up when he heard the slightest noise and was blessed with the beauty that is you. He looked up at you with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N...” was what he whispered before he quickly got up to run to you.

“Y/N!” He ecstatically said with a hint of relief. He was about to wrap him arms around you but you kept a hand at his chest to keep him at bay. “Baby?...”

Bakugou looked at you with hurt and confused eyes when you didn’t welcome his embrace. Even when you were mad at him, you still allowed him to hold you so what gives? He looked at you and your attire. He noticed your jacket and shoes and saw you holding a bag. “W-what are you doing?”

You walked away from him but he snatched your wrist to make you turn to face him. “Y/N! What’s going on?!” He frantically asked with crazed eyes. You snatched your wrist back and ran down the stairs and he copied your actions. He followed you into the living room until he grabbed your wrist once more. You tried to pull away again but found it harder because this time, he gripped it tight.

“W-where are you going baby?”

“Dont call me that.”

“What? Why? Baby, please tell me what’s going on.” He begged as he squeezed your wrist.

“What’s going on? Are you serious? What does it look like? I’m leaving!” Bakugou’s eyes went wide once more and shook his head.

“N-no! No, why!?”

“Why?! Look at my arm!” You screamed.

“I know! I know and I’m so sorry! But..but you don’t have to go! I can fix you up, I’ll take you to recovery girl, I will bring you to the best hospitals around the world to fix that for you! Just please don’t go!” He bargained and offered everything but you weren’t budging.

“It’s not just the burn Bakugou.” You deadpanned with a nonchalant face. His heart felt heavy after hearing your voice refer to him with his family name.

“..I-it’s Katsuki! Your Katsuki! It’s Suki, baby please!” Bakugou stepped closer as he cried once more but you backed away again. His hold on your wrist still strong as his fingers played with the ring on your hand, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that you are still his wife.

You shook your head at his pleading. “Bakugou. You burned me. But not only that, you’ve neglected me for months.”

“I know that! And I’m sorry! I will spend just as much time off of work to make it up to you, I swear I will, I promise!” He once again bargained.

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not, please, it can’t be!”

“It is Bakugou-“

“KATSUKI! ....please...please don’t call me that. I’m your Katsuki,” he said with a whimpering voice. At this point you felt the tears come through, but you still didn’t allow them to fall.

“Katsuki...I can’t stay here. Too much damage has been done.” You said with a soft voice. Bakugou continued to shake his head ‘no,’ but you already made up your mind. You used your wind quirk in your hand and blew his grip off your wrist. You took the quick opportunity to walk to the door but Bakugou grabbed your bag off your shoulder in a childish panic and attempt to get you to stay.

“Hey!-“

“Please Y-Y/N! Please don’t leave me! I- I know I’ve been a terrible husband! I’m sorry! B-But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll stay at home more, I’ll spend more time with you, Please!”

“Katsu-“

“I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll get you all the expensive brands, I’ll find you all the best jewelry, I’ll give you all the money in the world! I’ll give you the whole world! Please stay! I love you so much Y/N!”

“Katsuki, give me back my bag,” you tried to reach for it but Bakugou kept it away from you and pulled you in with one arm and held you in a tight embrace as he cried on your shoulder.

“Please...you can’t do this to me. I need you. I love you! I’ll do better! I’ll be a better husband, I swear..just please don’t go.” He softly spoke with a broken voice and soft hiccups. It was wrong for you to do this, but you sighed and pretended to forgive him as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You hugged him tight and he fell for it as he openly sobbed now. His other arm that held your bag came to wrap around your waist but before it could, you snatched the bag out of his hold and pushed him away. You ran to the door and held a tight grip on the knob as you picked up your car keys. You saw Katsuki attempt to run back to you but you created a strong barrier of wind to protect you. “IM SORRY Y/N! PLEASE DONT!”

You took off your ring and tossed it to him through the barrier. He was quick to catch it and hold it right in fear of losing it. He had to find a way to get it back on your finger. “No..baby...Teddy Bear please!”

“....I’ll send you the divorce papers....Goodbye Katsuki.”

With that, you walked out of the door, still keeping the barrier alive. Once you started the car, you dispersed of the wind and Bakugou opened the door and ran to your car.

“Y/N wait! Please!” He cried out but he was too late. You pulled out of the driveway and drove off quickly down the street. He watched your car go as he began hyperventilating and tugging at his ash blonde locks. He ran back inside the house with your ring in hand as he looked for his phone. He found it on the kitchen island and quickly dialed your number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail but that didn’t stop him from calling about 50x more.

“This-...this has to be some stupid dream. A fucking nightmare...” he said as he tried to hide in denial. “Yeah...a nightmare. This is what it is...I’ll..I’ll wake up soon and she’ll be by my side in the morning...sleeping peacefully...and I’ll take the whole week off and spend it with her. She won’t be mad, we’ll be happy like we always are. S-She won’t leave me.”

Bakugou had an insane smile on his face with eyes of distraught on him. He clumsily made his way back to his bedroom where he flopped onto the large mattress and tried to get some sleep. He would sleep the whole day away if it meant you’d still be by his side when he woke up. The ring you abandoned was held tight in the palm of his hand as he held it close to his chest. His sobs overcame him but did aid in his journey to slumber. Eventually, he knocked out and a smile of bliss adorned his face as he assumed you would still be there in the morning.....oh how wrong he was.

The very next day, he woke up at 5:30 like he always did and quickly looked to your side of the bed. It was cold and empty. He was lonely. The exact same feeling you got everytime you woke up without seeing him for the past 6 months.

6 months. You’ve been married for 4 years and together for 8. Out of those 8 years, Bakugou spent 6 months neglecting you..and now...he lost you.

He stared at the empty space and bawled his eyes out like a baby as he screamed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Maybe you were cooking breakfast! You weren’t. Kitchen was empty. He ran to the living room! Maybe you were just watching some TV and reading a book, looking all cute and domesticated like you usually did. No, you weren’t there either. Bakugou checked every room in the house and when he couldn’t find you..he snapped.

His heart beated at a rapid pace as he trashed the entire house. Breaking windows, flipping desks, smashing furniture. He used his quirk to create blasts and burn marks into the walls and floors of the house. He did everything to get his frustrations out. The entire time he shouted and cried as rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks.

When he was done, he sat in the middle of the destroyed living room, laying his back against the flipped couch. He sat with his knees scrunched up as he hunched over, staring at the ground. His nose and eyes and basically his entire face grew puffy and red. His hair was a mess and so was he. Silent tears continued to drop, but his throat was too dry and hurt far too much for him to make anymore noise. However, he did fight through the pain to say one final thing:

“What have I done?”

A/N: hi cubsss! So a lot of you may know that my very first post, writing piece, and short story (He’s Lost) was created around angst, a breakup, and the fact that the triggering point was Bakugou physically hurting Y/N. I’ve been thinking about it and I HATE MY WRITING IN THE FIRST POST! It was terrible! Why tf did y’all like it so much?😭 And so, I’ve created a new piece revolving around the same elements, sorta as a way to check my progress. I hope you enjoyed!

ALSO!!! If you guys like this enough, I’m willing to turn it into a small yandere short story if you Cubs are down for that. Let me know and I’ll make it happen! Love you Cubs! See you next time🧸💗

3K notes · View notes

tsukkiboii · 4 years

Note

hi bby! i said i was gonna leave an ask and i meant that. can i ask for a tsukki, kenma or kuroo? maybe they about an argument and then they make-up? maybe they fought about fans flirting with them or video games or whatever! ill let you decide! love you ❤❤❤❤❤

my first request sjhjshshsj🥺🥺

bea bb thank you i love n appreciate you so much <3 i decided to go with kenma and arguing over a video game bc i vibed with it the most hehe, i hope you like it!! this fic is so much longer than i had intended it to be im sorry-

and i apologize that this took so long :( life has been really messy and all over the place :((

fights, tears, and make-ups

pairing: kenma kozume x reader

word count: 1.4k

genre: angst (but i honestly can’t tell if it’s super ansty-), fluff, hurt/comfort

synopsis: kenma shouldn’t have taken you for granted, but he did.

“Kenma, you need to eat dinner.”

“In a sec,” you heard the blond-haired boy reply from his gaming room, undoubtedly with his eyes still glued to the screen.

“Kenma. You haven’t eaten all day. You need to eat.”

Seconds pass with no response. With a sigh, you grabbed the bowl beside you and walked towards his room. Sliding open his door, you find him completely focused on the game. He’s pale, dark circles under his eyes drooping and anyone walking in would see he’s exhausted, needing rest, but he can’t. The only thing on his mind is that he has to pass this level.

Walking over gently, you place the bowl onto his table. Kenma jumps at the noise, not having known you were there, the motion making his screen character go a little too far left and being crushed by a falling rock.

He throws his console onto the desk and gives you a stare burning through your skin. “I was about to pass that level. I’ve been stuck on it for a day and you just had to enter right then.”

“Kenma, you haven’t eaten a single thing today-”

“Oh, shut up.”

You tense up under his harsh words, about to speak when you’re cut off by more of his rambling.

“Kenma this, Kenma that. It’s annoying. Quit acting like I can’t take care of myself. Things were so much quieter and calmer without you anyways.”

His tone is barely above a whisper, almost as if he thought it was too much of a bother to talk to you. Taken aback by his words, you take a moment to fully absorb what he had said, every word cutting a slash into your heart.

“I hope your life goes back to calm and quiet” were the last words you left him before you left the apartment with tears streaming down your face.

Kenma’s eyes linger on you for a moment before going back onto his screen. He instantly regrets what he said, but doesn’t go after you. Instead, he restarts his game and his character dies again, at the exact same place.

The bowl of food on his table goes cold.

The first day with you gone passes fine for Kenma. As usual, he goes to sleep at way too late and gets up at noon-ish and scrambles together some food to prepare for his stream. His viewers tell him he doesn’t seem as energetic, and isn’t smiling as much. He says that he’s a little tired and didn’t sleep too well last night, which was only half the truth. He feels a little empty, mind often tracing back to your smile and then immediately to your tear-stained face. He eats two bites of bread for dinner and decides to go to sleep.

“I’ll be fine,” he thinks, “I don’t need y/n to live.”

The days only spiral downhill from there. Snack wrappers thrown all over the apartment and laundry piled up into stacks. He hasn’t eaten something actually cooked in days. Having no energy to do anything, he calls off streams for a whole week. Most of his time is spent lying on the sofa with his face towards the ceiling, replaying his last conversation with you in his head over and over and over again.

“Things were much quieter and calmer without you anyways.”

I’m sorry. Please come back.

He contemplates so many times on whether or not to call you, to text you, to try and get in touch with you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was the one who hurt you, told you you were annoying when he didn’t realize how much you matter to him.

Kuroo checks in on Kenma every single day. By the fourth day, he’s determined to make him talk to you.

“Kenma, you can’t keep living like this.”

Tired eyes glued to his screen, the pudding-head boy grumbles in response, Not enough energy in him to do anything else.

Sighing, Kuroo unplugs his entire monitor and forces his chair to spin towards him so that he’s staring Kenma right in the eyes.

“Kenma, I’m serious. You need to talk to her.”

“And then what?”

Kuroo staggers a little, taken aback from the question.

“And then what, Kuroo? I hurt her. She deserves so much better anyways.”

The rooster-haired boy takes his phone and throws it onto his lap.

“You need to call her sooner or later. I don’t know when, but you need to.”

Kenma gently holds his phone with two hands with his thumbs hovering over the screen, constantly switching between the keyboard and the delete button. He debates himself for fifteen seconds before giving up and pressing the call button.

The phone has rung seven times and you have yet to pick up. He’s certain that you won’t pick up at all. Yet on the eighth ring, you pick up.

“Kenma?” He hears from the other side.

His voice hitches in his throat. A thousand thoughts are crossing his mind and his breath is suddenly stggered. He tries to say “I’m sorry”, “Where are you”, and “Please come back” at the same time, but none of them seem to be coming out.

“Kenma, you there?”

“Yn.”

His voice is so empty, dull, tiring and you almost drop your phone out of shock.

“Where are you?”

Coming back to reality, you swallow and reply, “Friend’s house. Why?”

“Can we, uhm, can we talk?”

Your side of the line goes silent for three whole seconds before you take a deep breath and reply, “Sure. Give me a time and place.”

“If you don’t mind, can you just come home?”

HIs voice quivered at the word home, like it wasn’t really home to him anymore. Not without you. You couldn’t help but tell him you’ll be back in a bit.

As you reach closer to your building, the more your heart threatens to jump out of your throat. There’s a knot in your stomach that you just can’t get rid of, and even though you know this was all his fault, your mind can’t stop racing. None of this was your fault, was it?

Before realizing, your hand was on the door handle and without thinking too much, you push the door open.

To say you were shocked from the state of the apartment is an understatement. Yes, Kenma wasn’t the tidiest person in the world, but you knew he’d never let the apartment get this messy. The moment you walked in you knew he would be in a bad state too, which confused you. But he didn’t want you here, did he?

Suddenly, you hear footsteps coming towards you. Frozen in place, you wonder if this was a bad idea. If you should just leave and tell him you couldn’t make it, but it’s too late. By the time your head has gotten back into reality, he was standing in front of you, eyes full of guilt and regret.

“Hey,” you try to say, which turns out to be nothing more than a whisper.

Hesitating for a second, he stumbles towards you and falls into your arms, leaning into your touch, burying his face into your neck and mumbling “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me” again and again.

“I was stupid. It’s all my fault. I was frustrated and took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Everything is so much better with you and I was being dumb. I’m so sorry please don’t leave.” His eyes were brimmed with tears, threatening to spill out any second. He’s rambling, words that he had meant to say to you over the past days all spilling out. He can’t seem to be able to stop. You’ve never seen him so scared, so vulerable.

Holding him tight, you take a deep breath, swallowing the many things you wanted to say to him, to blame him, to yell at him, to tell him it’s all his fault.

Instead, you hold him tight against you.

“Shh, Kenma. I’m here now. I won’t leave, okay? I’ve got you, we can talk this out.”

He grabs onto you even tighter. “Thank you. Thank you thank you.”

You were going to have a lot to talk about, you both knew that for sure. And maybe things aren’t going to go back to how they were for a long time. But right now he was in your arms and you were in his, and he was never more determined to fix what he broke.

#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #kenma fluff #kenma angst #haikyuu headcannons #taru writes

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beomglocks · 3 years

Text

in the middle ; c.yj

summary : it wasn’t supposed to go this far right?

pairing : yeonjun x reader x beomgyu (?)

warnings & other : cheating, angst (?), requested, slightly suggestive???

w/c : 1.4K

to be fair, you didn't know it would go this far.

was it your fault that choi beomgyu was the kindest most charismatic person alive? no. was it your fault you warned him that you were already dating the most possessive and jealous person in the world aka choi yeonjun and he had responded with: "well it's not like we're doing anything."? absolutely not.

what is your fault is the fact that you still went along with it. when beomgyu told you that you both wouldn't be doing anything you knew that was bullshit. he's handsome as fuck and you're slightly attracted to him. hell yeah, something's definitely happening.

you were asleep on beomgyu's bed when you heard it. it seemed to be right next door which is why it shook you from your sleep.

it sounded like a thump, more like something backing up into the wall nearest to your head.

you roll over to inform beomgyu that something or someone was on the other side of the wall disturbing your sleep. whenever you felt even the slightest bit disturbed you knew beomgyu would not hesitate to come to your rescue.

however, when you stretched and rolled over expecting to see the boy who you thought would also be occupying the bed with you, he was nowhere to be found. you frowned immediately. beomgyu was clingy, even in his sleep he would be latching onto you so tight that it was sometimes hard for you to wake up if you needed to use the bathroom.

you don't know if he had even fallen asleep after you since you were so tired from work. it was late and he was already perched up on his bed when you arrived. he had greeted you sweetly and offered for you to take a nap on his bed.

you agreed since none of the other boys seemed to be at the dorm at the time. this was the perfect time to be close to beomgyu without yeonjun questioning it.

how you both managed to get away with it for this long was baffling, not just to you but to beomgyu. he was the one who was mostly around your boyfriend and yet he still composed himself when all three of you were in the same room.

you loved yeonjun, you love him so much it hurts but beomgyu was right there and you'd be damned if you let that go.

the thumping happened again but a bit harsher. you couldn't possibly be expected to sleep at this rate.

you got up from the bed, dragging your feet over to the room which happened to be yeonjun's room. you knocked on the door lightly hoping to get some answers but no one opened it. you heard hushed voices behind the door but that was about it.

"yeonjun? are you in there?" you heard another thump in response and then something crash. your eyes widened, now concerned you turn the door handle to see if he's ok. normally you wouldn't waltz into any of the boys rooms but hearing consistent thumping and now a crash had you concerned.

when you opened the door, what you weren't expecting to see was beomgyu on top of yeonjun on the ground with a fist to the eldest face. "what the hell are you two doing?" you run up to them and try to detach beomgyu from yeonjun. looking around, you can pretty much decipher that a fight had taken place.

yeonjun shoves beomgyu off of him and scrambles to his feet. "i saw you guys you know." he wipes his lip and nods. "you guys were in bed together i can't just let him put his hands on you like that! you're mine".

he faces beomgyu again and they're about to have at it again when you intervene once more.

"yeonjun stop," you grab his arm and make him face you. you didn't feel bad when you cheating on him but damn it why does he have to look so broken right now.

"he wasn't having his way with me or whatever, i was-," you sigh, studying his facial expression. all he does is stare at you waiting for you to continue.

"im sorry, i was cheating on you."

he steps away from you, looking between you and beomgyu in disbelief. "really?" is all he says.

you nod hesitantly, not really knowing what to say that would make the situation better. "give it up yeonjun, she didn't want you anymore that's why she came to me," beomgyu shrugs.

yeonjun clenches his fist and sends it flying towards the other boys face. beomgyu isn't fast enough to dodge it so he ends up stumbling back when he gets hit. "yeonjun what the fuck!" you grab yeonjun and pull him away and you can see the tears going down his face.

"why though..." he mumbles. he tries to go in to kiss you but you move backwards. "yeonjun look, im sorry but i just- i dont know... i guess i just wanted beomgyu too," you say without much emotion.

yeonjun lowers his head in defeat. "you wanted him? you had me though," he grits out. "well what the hell was all this then?" he motions around his room, where ironically, there are some photos of you both hung up and even some gifts you had gotten him. "huh y/n? what the fuck was all this then!?" he slides some pictures off a nearby shelf, sending them crashing onto the floor.

you step back cautiously to make sure you don't mistakenly step on the shattered glass. now there's broken glass separating you from yeonjun and it all feels a little too real to you. "yeonjun calm down!" you scold him in an attempt to get him to chill out. knowing him, it won't work though.

"calm down?" he sucks his teeth and laughs. "you want me to calm down when i gave you so much? you wasted my time!"

you flinch when he sends another picture frame to the ground along with some other miscellaneous items. you feel beomgyu snake his arm around you as some form of protection but you don't feel very protected right now.

yeonjun seems to notice this and he grows visibly angrier and more tears go streaming down his face. "get out," he says to beomgyu.

its silent for a moment as they seem to have some kind of stare off but ultimately beomgyu backs down, being over this already. "i'll be outside," he says forcibly. you watch as he narrowly avoids some glass but shoves yeonjun on the way out.

you can tell it takes everything in yeonjun not to pounce on him. when beomgyu is gone yeonjun turns back to you and sighs in frustration. "i'm so tired. i had to come home to- to this!" he pulls at his hair, unable to process what's going on.

"i said i was sorry ok? i didn't think it would be like this," you say. "what the fuck did you think it'd be like then huh? did you think you could go around being a slut with some other guy's dick up your ass without me knowing? how far did you really think you could take this?!" he starts getting angry again remembering seeing you in bed with beomgyu.

it all made sense to him now. the affectionate touches, the weird glances at practice. he should've seen it coming earlier but unfortunately, he didn't.

"i-" he cuts you off. "what? got some excuse? well, who's next y/n? who next, is it soobin? you been fucking around with soobin too??" he taunts. "yeonjun!" you step over the glass to shove his chest but he doesn't even flinch. he grabs your wrists, using whatever energy he has left to throw you on his bed.

"i hate you so much now," he says as he hovers above you. you look up at him with an apologetic gaze, deciding to stay silent in case he decides to lash out again. he suddenly chuckles, "what? do you seriously think we're gonna do something?" you look away, embarrassed that you actually had a slight anticipation that he would somehow make love to you at that moment.

he shakes his head with a bitter smile, "this isn't like the other times y/n. we usually fight then have angry sex but this isn't what's happening."

"yeonjun i really did like you," you say silently. "that's bullshit," he spits. "i can't believe anything you say and that hurts." he gets up from you, pacing around the room.

"if you really care then just leave. be with beomgyu i don't care but i don't wanna see you anymore. don't ever come around me and don't even think about interacting with me ever again," he sighs. you get up from his bed silently, hesitant about touching him or saying anything.

"bye," you mumble. "whatever," is all he says in response.

#yeonjun imagines #yeonjun reactions #yeonjun drabbles #yeonjun drabble #yeonjun angst #txt imagines #drabble #tomorrow x together imagines #txt headcanons #yeonjun headcanons #txt reactions #txt scenarios #yeonjun timestamps #yeonjun fic #yeonjun x reader #angst

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honeypirate · 3 years

Text

Just an Extra

Bakugou x yn

((I forced myself to finish this no matter how it turned out so I’m sorry if it’s rushed. I needed to finish something again.))

“I can’t believe Aizawa stopped the race like that”

Bakugou aggressively kicked a rock on the walk back to your homes. You just left the school pool after some training before the summer camp. “They’re not only our completion tho, they’re our friends” you say and place a hand on his shoulder to try and ease some of his tension. “I won’t let them get ahead of me! Isn’t that what being the best is?!” His whole body is tensed and his fists clenched. You softly wrap your arms around his body from the back, laying your cheek between his shoulders and your arms tight around his stomach. “Suki..” you whisper “you will be the number one hero, I know you will, but please take care of yourself. You don’t have to fight alone. You don’t have to be alone” you can feel his body relax a little and he sets his hands softly against yours on his stomach as he sighs “y/n. ..” his voice was soft and kind, something you hardly ever heard from him.

Before he can continue you hear footsteps running up behind you and you drop your arms from him and step away quickly. He glares at you “Don’t be an idiot. I know I’m not alone. there’s only one number one hero and that’s going to be me” he shouts just as Kirishima appears next to you “woah Bakugou no need to be such a dick to her” you just smile curtly and continue to walk home.

Kirishima talked the entire walk back, you all live on the same route so you walk together home, you hardly said a thing. Your home was first and so you just waved and ran inside.

It always happened like that. You’d be kind to him and he’d almost be nice back but then he’d shout in your face.

“You were amazing Bakugou!” Squeeze his hand. He whips his hand from your grasp and shouts “I’m always amazing! Idiot!”

“Katsuki are you okay?” You’d be worried and he’d waiver and almost let you hug him, before shoving you away “I’m fine, extra.”

Once when you were walking home with him, you almost went to touch his arm, almost went to say something nice to him. You knew he had a bad day. But you were tired of being yelled at by him. That’s when you learned to keep your mouth shut. To not touch him. You got to your house and you left without a word or glance. You realized then, you wouldn’t be around him anymore since he obviously didn’t like you.

You’ve been acting weird to him for a while, he’s noticed. But he’s not gonna say anything. You’ll come around again. You followed him like a lost puppy. It was so annoying. But he knew. You’d be back.

As the days went by it got easier to be around him when you had to be and you realized how nice it was to not get yelled at every day.

Whenever Kirishima wanted him around you’d be civil. But if it wasn’t for Kiri you probably wouldn’t be Katsuki’s friend anymore.

The times you could hang out alone with Kiri became some of your favorite moments. Like when you sparred with him after a workout and distracted him by kissing his cheek when he tried to put you in a hold. All of your good moments with him were easily ruined when Bakugou would come around with his anger and rudeness.

After your training you walked into the dorms to be met with a glaring look by Bakugou, mad because you were late back and he had plans with Kiri. You rolled your eyes “maybe he likes me more than you because at least I’m nice to him” you say before looking at Kirishima and completely ignoring Bakugou. “Text me?” You ask with a smile and he nods, ruffling your hair. You blush before walking away from them to go shower, still ignoring Bakugou.

This is what your relationship with Bakugou was like now. While your friendship with Kirishima progressed and was amazing. The one with Bakugou disappeared, a year later it’s basically nonexistent since you shared everything with Kirishima and he was respectful to not force you around his other friend.

“What’s her deal?” Bakugou asks when you’re gone. Kirishima rolls his eyes “you’re an idiot Bakugou. If you want to know why she doesn’t like being around you, then go ask her” Bakugou doesn’t know why he didn’t think of that before as he storms off after you, catching you in the stairwell. You always took the stairs because you were on the second floor and it didn’t seem necessary to use an elevator.

He grabs your wrist to stop you “what’s your problem?” He yells at you and you don’t even flinch as you smack him in the face with your other hand. “I don’t have problems with assholes unless they assault me. Don’t. touch. Me. Bakugou” you say and rip your hand from his grasp and begin to walk up the stairs again and he gets annoyed. He pushes past you and blocks your way. “What the fuck happened?” His voice is quieter now even though he’s still fuming, his cheek turning red from your slap.

You were exhausted, to be honest, you felt exasperated and like you don’t care anymore, you just want to go to your room. “Katsuki Bakugou” you chuckle “It should be obvious, shouldn’t it? I didn’t think that the future number one hero would be this dense.” You mocked him and he growled.

You didn’t want to have this conversation now. You were too worked up. But you knew he wouldn’t let it go. “I saw only good in you. I thought you were someone i could trust. And I tried so hard. But you took that and crumbled it beneath your feet on your way to the top. So if you wanna treat me like garbage, take me for granted, yell at me, belittle me, I’m not going to be in your life anymore. You don’t deserve me wasting my energy on you when you only see me as an extra. But Kirishima,” you point in his direction “that guy is so kind and so caring. I don’t know how he does it. He makes me feel like he actually wants to be my friend. I hug him and he hugs me back. He makes me laugh. I don’t have to second guess anything I do with him. I can trust him. I can’t trust you. So. This is me being your extra.” you push past him and run the few steps up to the door and leave him behind in the stairwell.

A short while later you got a text from Kirishima

Kiri- “what did you say to Bakugou?”

You-“I was honest”

Kiri-“he’s acting strange”

You-“Kiri can we talk about it later? Also, will you come to my room later before curfew?”

Kiri-“sure. Why?”

You-“I need a hug”

After that you threw your phone on your bed and went to the showers.

As much as you thought you got over it, you didn’t. You still admired Bakugou. But it’s hard when the person who you admire treats you terrible. It was time to be done with it. You showered, you cried in the shower, then you picked yourself back up and headed to your room.

After studying and watching some tiktoks you get another text from Kirishima

Kiri- “have you eaten dinner?”

You-“ummm”

Kiri-“say less”

After a few minutes there’s a knock at your door and you open it, expecting to find Kirishima, but instead it’s a shy looking Bakugou with a sack of your favorite snacks, some take out, and some ice cream. You invite him in and he sets the bags down on your desk. “What’s going on?” You ask quietly and he clears his throat “I’m sorry” your heart flutters “what was that? I didn’t hear you” you step closer to him and put your hand to your ear. He quickly but softly snatches your hand and you gasp in shock at his facial expression. An expression you never saw him wear, guilt.

“Listen y/n. I’m sorry. I treated you like you weren’t important to me. But I’ve missed you so much” his voice is quiet, cracking at the end. What was happening? You were so shocked and speechless as he continues . “Every time you leave my stomach feels like there is a brick in it. I miss you. I know I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your friendship. I don’t deserve anything from you. I was stupid. I am stupid. Please give me another chance” you’re staring at his face as he looks sheepishly at his hand that’s still holding yours. “It’s been a year” you whisper and he nods “I know” his voice is soft “why now? Is kirishima making you do this?” You’re not angry anymore. You can see how he’s changed because he’d never dream of apologizing to anyone before. “No he’s not making me do shit” he says gruffly and then sighs and looks into your eyes as he continues “I know I really messed up but I’d hate myself if I never tried to fix what I ruined” he’s being honest, you realize, and can’t help but throw your arms around him and hug him, laying your head on his chest as you hold him tight. After a few moments of shock he returns your hug, holding you tight to his chest and he lays his cheek against the top of your head.

“Im not letting you off easy so don’t think that” you say trying to sound stern and you hear a low chuckle from his chest “I know we’ve both changed this last year y/n. I’m just happy you’ll let me have a chance to get to know you again” he says and runs his fingers through your hair.

“The ice cream!” You yell and then pull back and grab it from the bag “do you want some?” You turn to him and hold it up with a smile and he blushes at how cute you looked. “Come on now, eat some dinner first. I got you your favorite from that place we used to like” you gasp and hurry, putting the ice cream in your small bedroom fridge before grabbing his hand and the food bags, pulling him to your bed with you. If he wanted to get to know you again you’ll start right now. He knew he’d not get another chance after this so he’ll make sure not to mess it up this time. You shove a huge bite in your mouth and moan as you chew. It was so good and you haven’t eaten it in so long.

You look up into his eyes as he sits at the edge of your bed “Way I’m don’t -ting” you say through another big bite and he chuckles softly. You swallow before trying to speak again “when I’m done eating” you poke your utensil at him “we’re going to eat that ice cream and talk about everything, what happened, how you hurt me, why you did it. All of it. That’s how we’re going to get over this. That’s how we’re going to move forward.” He nods “Okay” he has a small smile his lips and you nod once “good. You want some?” You offer him a bite and he nods “so bad. I was so nervous to talk to you I haven’t eaten anything” he takes the bite you offer him and you shake your head. A little amused at him. “you dummy. You need to eat. You work harder than everyone” you say and then take a few more big bites before handing the container to him “finish what you want from it, you know I never finish a full plate” he chuckles. “True” he says and nods, taking it from you “thank you y/n” he says, he knows the conversation ahead will be hard, but he feels relieved that you’ll let him in again.

#mha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha katsuki #bakugou katsuki fanfiction #mha bakugou #bakugou fanfiction #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo fanfiction #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years

Text

Ocean Eyes - Part 11

A/N- OMG i finally updated!!

Please like/comment/share if you like this. Seeing that people are actually enjoying this fic makes me wanna write more lol 💕💕

I got next to no sleep, i just laid in bed going over and over the things Chris had said....was he being serious?? or was it the alcohol talking??

Finally giving up on sleep at 5:30am i got up and dressed and decided i needed to talk to someone about all this. When i went downstairs i made a cup of tea and grabbed Chris's coat from the back of the chair then headed outback, Dodger following behind me.

I walked down to the pool area and sat down at the table and chairs that were next to it where i was far enough away from the house to have a private conversation. I unlocked my phone smiling at the photo of Chris, Scott and Mason before scrolling to my recent contacts and hitting call.

"Hello" she answered after two rings.

"Hey ma, i didnt wake you did i?"

"No sweetheart, you know me I've been up since 5am"

"Thats because you're crazy" i chuckled.

"why are you up this early? This is very unlike you"

"Ive not really slept..... mom something happened with Chris last night and i'm kinda freaking out...."

"Oh god please tell me you haven't slept with him already....."

"No! Jesus Ma...."

"Thats good, so what happened?"

"Well after Mason went to bed last night i stayed up with Chris and Scott, we had a few drinks and just hung out you know? Everything was fine until Scott went to bed" i started explaining shaking my head, i told her all about Chris ending things with his girlfriend, about him getting jealous about Derek and then i dropped the kicker.... Chris confessed to still loving me and wanting a second chance!

"Wow, thats alot to take in"

"Tell me about it! Ive been up all night going over it again and again"

"So what did you tell Chris?"

"I just said that we needed to talk about this when we were both sober. I mean he could wake up and forget he even said any of this to me last night"

"Would you still bring it up if he does forget?"

"I don't know Ma, i don't know what to do"

"Only you can answer that, i can't tell you the right thing to do here baby. All i know is that you have loved that man since i can remember, even when he left and broke your heart you still loved him"

"You love who you love right?.... i just feel like an idiot" i mumbled picking at the sleeve of Chris's coat nervously.

"You're not an idiot"

"I feel like one!"

"Just talk to him, take things slow.... maybe use this time together to get to know eachother again before you decide on anything. Also, just remember this effects Mason now"

"Thats what makes it worse ma" i quickly wiped away a tear that rolled down my face, Dodger came over putting his face in my lap and i smiled as i scratched behind his ear. When i looked up my breath caught when i saw Chris slipping out the sliding door and heading my way.

"Shit, he's coming over.... i gotta go Ma. I'll call you later"

"Okay sweetheart, good luck.... deep breaths, i love you"

"Love you too, bye".

I locked my phone and placed it on the table before wrapping Chris's coat tighter around me. Dodger spotted Chris and went bounding over to him excited to see him up and about.

"Morning, you're up early" he said before sitting in the chair beside me.

"Morning, i couldn't sleep. Thought id call my mom to check in"

"All the way out here?"

"Its early i didn't want to wake anyone up" i shrugged picking up my tea taking a mouthful.

"You sure thats all it was?"

"Mmhmmm"

"You're not hiding from me after last night?" He raised his eyebrows at me questioningly.

"So you remember what you said last night?"

"Of course, i wasn't that drunk" he scoffed reaching for my tea and helping himself to a few mouthfuls.

"Im not hiding, just.... thinking"

"About?"

"About what the fuck i'm supposed to do!"

"Do you love me?" He suddenly asked making me look up at him, into those eyes.... damn him!

"What?"

"Do you still love me? Its a simple question babe"

"Its not a simple answer Chris" i shrugged "i mean of course i do but i just..... the way you treated me before.... how do i know that wont happen again?"

"It wont i promise! I know how bad i messed up...."

"You say that now but i can't help but worry about you changing your mind.

You broke my heart when you left me and now we have Mason to think about.... i don't want him getting hurt if this doesn't work out again".

"So your answer's no? You wont give me a second chance?" He asked sadly his eyes tearing up, i forgot how emotional he could get.

"Maybe we should just spend this time together, get to know each other again and go from there?" I said taking my mom's advise.

"So you're not ruling it out completely? Its not a hard no?"

"Im saying maybe, just... baby steps" i smiled over at him and he nodded smiling back at me as he reached over and took my hand.

"I promise you i wont let you down again, i wanna be the man you deserve and the dad that Mason deserves"

"Id like that a lot, even though i hated you for what you did... i still missed you"

"I know, i missed you too"

"Lets go in im freezing" i said getting up, Chris was suddenly standing and pulling me into his arms holding me tight.

"Chris..." i mumbled into his chest as my hands landed on his waist.

"Im sorry i just needed to hold you"

I sighed and wrapped my arms around him... as nervous as this made me it felt so good to be in his arms again.

"I'll make things right again i promise" he mumbled pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

The weeks were flying by and we were all still in lockdown, it was now May and there was no sign of anything changing just yet.

Chris was doing a lot of online interviews to promote his new show 'Defending Jacob', when these video chats took place Scott and I made sure to take Mason to another part of the house so he wouldn't interrupt.

Things with Chris and I had been going good, we wouldn't act any differently around Mason but once he was in bed we'd snuggle on the sofa.... we'd shared a few kisses here and there but thats as far as it had gone.

"Mom can we take Dodger for a walk?" Mason came running in from the backyard with Dodger diving on the sofa next to me.

"You better go ask your dad buddy"

"Dad!!!!" Mason yelled loudly making me laugh.

"Why are you yelling?? i'm right here" Chris said walking in from the kitchen with coffee's. Mason chuckled cuddling up to me suddenly going all silly.

"Why you getting all shy?" I asked as i run my fingers through his hair.

"I don't know" he mumbled hiding his face against me, Chris sat down next to him and picked him up pulling him into his lap.

"Whats up pal? Why was you calling me?"

"Mom said i had to ask you if we can take Dodger for a walk"

"Sure we can! Why don't you go get your shoes on and grab Dodgers leash while your mom and i finish our coffee then we'll go"

"Yes!! thank you dad!" Mason wriggled down from Chris's lap and run upstairs to the room he'd been staying in.

"Maybe it'll wear him out enough that he has a nap, kid has too much energy!" I said looking over at Chris.

"He loves walking Dodger thats all"

"So do i but not this much! Poor Dodge is probably begging for a rest!"

"He's fine, we'll just walk up the road a bit throw the ball around... we don't have to be gone long"

"I guess"

"You coming with us?"

"Yeah why not".

We walked Dodger as promised and let him and Mason run around playing fetch. Chris took me by surprise by grabbing hold of my hand pulling me close enough to kiss me.

"Hey! We said not in front of Mace...."

"He's not looking its fine" he laughed "so, i was thinking maybe you could stay in my room tonight?"

"And what if Mason catches us??"

"We'll say we're having a sleepover" he smirked.

"You're terrible!"

"You didn't say no though" he wriggled his eyebrows at me.

"I didn't say yes either. Mace, come on Bud we're heading back" i called out stepping away from Chris even though all i wanted to do was pounce on him!

As i looked over to where Mason and Dodger were playing i spotted a familiar car parked across the street outside of the gated area.

"You've got to be shitting me....."

"Whats wrong?"

"Thats Brian's car out there"

"What?!!! Are you sure?"

"Yeah"

"Im gonna kick this guys ass i swear to god...." Chris said as he started to storm towards Brian, i quickly grabbed his arm pulling him back.

"Lets just go back inside, call the police. I don't want you getting into trouble over that jackass. Just get Mason and Dodger and lets go. He cant get in here"

"Okay.... okay lets go" he whistled for Dodger who came bounding over followed by an out of breath Mason and we walked back up to the house locking ourselves safely inside while Chris called and reported Brian.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

@jakiki94 @torntaltos @my-dearest-agent @buchanansebba @ms-betsy-fangirl

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #reader insert #steve rogers #captain america #ocean eyes

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ahwait-no-yes · 3 years

Text

“Beautiful”

TW// ED?? Ish?? Just my experience and im not gonna self diagnose

(Read at your own risk!! I’d hate to trigger anyone hh)

i am looking away as i project instead of talk to people about it

(Also Kaito and Kokichi are brothers but Ouma was adopted and uses his last name because he feels it’s still a part of him and yes they’re fine with it and yes he loves his parents and they love him) also me getting worse? more likely than you think —

There’s a bit of progress.

Shuichi pushed his hand against his stomach, trying to flatten it as much as possible. He remembered reading somewhere that your lower stomach would never be perfectly flat, seeing as you had your intestines that were taller than you in there.

You probably can if you try hard enough.

Shuichi grimaced once he looked at his face, running his hand through his hair. When was the last time he showered? He probably should. He cupped his face, gently squishing his cheeks. His face looked slimmer than before.

This is good. This is progress. We won’t go too far, we just wanna loose a few pounds. There’s nothing wrong with that.

He softly smiled at his reflection, ignoring the slight shaking in his hands. He didn’t want to go too far. He heard that not eating can cause hair loss. He didn’t want that to happen, so he wouldn’t go to far.

You’re doing good. This is good.

Shuichi laid back down, gently rubbing his forehead. Were his hands always this shakey?

Probably. It’s nothing to worry about, you can still write and draw fine if you need to.

He frowned at the familiar feeling of discomfort, yet his stomach didn’t growl. Maybe his body was just adjusting. He remembered reading somewhere that not eating just makes you gain more weight.

Which, probably wasn’t true. You look skinnier when you don’t eat.

He pulled out his phone, typing a question into google.

How many calories should 18 year old boy eat?

2,400

He thought about it. He definitely didn’t eat that many. A hot pocket and instant ramen. How much was that?

Hot pocket is 600 calories.

He looked it up.

371 calories.

Yeah, he’ll be fine. He feels fine. Shuichi looked at himself in the mirror, feeling panic wash over him. He didn’t look skinnier. Had he gained weight? He hadn’t weighed himself in a while. It was possible. He only ate two things. That wasn’t a lot.

Except that slice of cake was a lot.

Shuichi laid back down, curling up in a ball. He wrapped his fingers around his wrist. They could still touch. He sat back up, ignoring how he felt dizzy and how his vision darkened for a second. He pulled down his shirt collar, running his hand over his collar bone. It was more apparent now. Not all of his work had gone to waste. He wasn’t going to make himself throw up. He didn’t want to throw up and have to deal with the burning pain in his throat that would last for hours, or feel the lack of energy after it. When was the last time he drank water? He glanced at the half filled water bottle, grimacing. Water doesn’t have calories, but it would make his stomach more obvious.

He wasn’t that thirsty anyway.

—

Shuichi sat down with his friends, who were currently talking about getting together to study. He wasn’t really paying attention, his mind seemed a bit hazy. Not too much, luckily. When an ad of someone eating came up, he frowned. It never made sense how people could just eat without worrying about what would happen.

Maybe he was just a little scared of food. No big deal. The thought of eating just made him feel sick and scared.

“Hey, are you listening Shuichi?” Kaito suddenly asked, one of his eyebrows raised. Saihara sheepishly smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying?” “We all said that were gonna meet up this Saturday at 2 pm. Is that good?” Kaito asked, his usual confident smile on his face. “Yeah, I don’t have any plans,” Shuichi replied, tugging on a loose string. “Great! We’ll see you there!” —

This whole thing was a bad idea.

The five of them, consisting of Kaito, Kaede, Harukawa, and Ouma (including himself) were cramped into a small booth. Ouma kept throwing small bits of food at Kaito when he wasn’t looking, Kaede kept trying to stop Ouma, (though, he kept crying whenever she said anything about it) and Harukawa kept glaring at him from across the table. Shuichi didn’t have time to look over the food, (calories, really) so he just chose something that sounded good. It ended up being soup, which he was mostly fine with.

Mostly fine with.

Shuichi didn’t want to eat. He wasn’t hungry. He ate enough yesterday. “Hey, Saihara chan! You okay? You look like you swallowed a whole rock!” Kokichi chirped, an excited smile on his face. Shuichi just nodded, pulling at the loose hoodie he was wearing.

He’d be fine. It was just a bowl of soup. It’s not a big deal.

He just stirred the soup, trying to think of ways to quickly finish it. The loud noise felt so overwhelming. He just wanted to leave. To go back home. “I’m gonna be right back,” Saihara abruptly stood up and left to the restroom. He just needed some time to think, to calm down. He quickly locked himself in a stall, leaning against the door.

He felt so, so sick.

Saihara took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. He was overreacting. If he didn’t eat, his friends would suspect something. He didn’t want to answer any questions about eating, so he’d have to eat. He shouldn’t be having to deal with this. He missed being able to eat and not think anything of it. He didn’t know when this started. It felt as if,

this,

had been going on for as long as he could remember. Shuichi rubbed away the tears that had managed to slip out. He shakily took a deep breath, (was it always this hard to do anything?) and opened the door. He didn’t say anything when he saw Ouma waiting at the entrance. “Heya Saihara chan!” Ouma walked up to the other, a soft smile on his face. “Uh, hey,” Saihara muttered, splashing his face with water. “Soo! You okay? You looked a tinyyy bit upset earlier!” “I’m fine, I just had a headache,” He murmured, the lie easily slipping off his tongue. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but not exactly the truth either. A half truth at the best. Kokichi hummed in acknowledgement. “So, are you gonna leave because of that nasty headache?” He asked innocently, tilting his head. Trying to find holes in his story. “Maybe, I don’t want it to get worse,” He replied. More lies, more half truths. Ouma just nodded, still staring at him. Shuichi finished washing his hands and quickly dried them off, shoving them into his pockets.

Was he always so cold?

“Well, uh, I’m gonna go home. Can you tell them why? I don’t wanna interrupt them,” He looked away, fidgeting. Kokichi just nodded and placed his hands behind his head. “Sure thing Saihara chan!” — Shuichi was laying down, tears running down his face. Things were getting worse and worse, and he felt so helpless. He kept trying his best, sleepless nights studying and memorizing things he’d probably never have to use.

It didn’t matter anyway, it was never enough. He wasn’t enough.

Everything hurt. He hadn’t eaten for a while. He had two bites of egg, but it made him feel so nauseous and guilty he just threw the rest away when no body was looking. He was tired. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t do much other then watch the clock tick away, waiting for the day to be over.

A knock at the door.

Shuichi, of course, ignored it. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, and didn’t want to deal with his heart feeling it was going to beat out of his chest and his vision blacking out for a a few seconds.

Though, he had gotten used to it.

The knocking continued. Shuichi groaned and stood up, grabbing onto his dresser so he wouldn’t fall. His vision took longer to clear up, and he still felt dizzy.

It’s just an inconvenience. Don’t worry about it.

He stumbled over to the door, taking a second to rub his head in hopes it would clear up the dizziness.

Spoiler alert, it didn’t work

. He opened the door, staring at Ouma grinning up at him. “Hey Saihara chan! Fancy seeing you here!” He exclaimed, eyes shining in excitement. “I live here,” Shuichi deadpanned, quietly sighing. “I know!” Kokichi chirped, gently pushing past Shuichi and walking in the house. “Uh, Ouma kun, why exactly are you here?” He asked, closing the door and following him. “Oh, you know,” He very helpfully replied, a nonchalant expression on his face. “But hey! Since I’m here, why don’t we do something fun!” He abruptly said, spinning around to face the other boy. “I don’t know, I’m kinda busy,” He replied, avoiding eye contact. “Busy with what?” Kokichi asked, getting closer to his face. Saihara backed away, looking uneasy. “With stuff,” he vaguely replied. Ouma sighed, grabbing his hand, only to let go a second later. “God Shumai, why’re you so cold?” He asked, pouting. Shuichi just muttered something, messing with the loose sleeves of his hoodie. It was quiet for a few seconds. Kokichi kept staring at Shuichi, trying to figure *something* out. Saihara kept shifting in place, feeling more and more panicked as the seconds passed. “We can watch a movie then!” Ouma suddenly exclaimed, a soft smile on his face again. Shuichi just nodded, nervously smiling back. “Do you have popcorn?” He asked. Shuichi just mumbled, “Yeah, probably.” After a few minutes, they put on a random movie and had a bowl of popcorn sitting in between them. Kokichi offered some every now and then, only for Shuichi to say no everytime.

He could just grab some.

“I’m gonna be right back, you don’t have to pause it,” Shuichi muttered, standing up. He still felt a bit dizzy, and standing definitely didn’t help. Kokichi just nodded, eyes glued to the screen. Shuichi locked himself in the bathroom and took a deep breath. It used to be he was hungry but didn’t eat. But now, the smell and thought of food made him feel nauseous.

You could eat and make yourself throw up.

He grimaced. It wouldn’t be difficult, really. He could just stick two fingers into his mouth until he threw up. He could. It’d be easy. It’d be no big deal. He shakily sighed, covering his face. He didn’t like throwing up. It hurt, and it made it even harder to breathe. It was also just gross.

But it might make things a but easier. You don’t have to force yourself to throw up, but you can try. Like drinking a lot of water.

Yeah, he could do that.

After a few laboured deep breaths, he left the bathroom and sat back down on the couch. Kokichi continued the movie (though, he didn’t have to pause it,) and smiled at him. Shuichi smiled back, wrapping the blanket around them.

Why did he feel so scared? So sad? It didn’t make sense, he was fine right now.

“You ok Saihara chan?” Kokichi quietly asked, still staring at the screen.

He’s really not. He’s not. He’s not ok. He needs to talk to someone. Something’s wrong.

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” He murmured, taking a deep breath. Ouma just nodded and gently grabbed his hand, just loose enough so he could pull away if he wanted. Saihara squeezed his hand, trying to ground himself. He was

fine.

Ouma squeezed back, a small smile on his face.

Is it really a white lie if you don’t think it’s a big deal?

—————

Hm - DA ☄️✨

✧༺♥༻∞

yyeah ouch I wish I could him a hug,, the line “He couldn’t do much other then watch the clock tick away, waiting for the day to be over.“ hit me very hard so that’s what I based this end doodle on (-JJ)

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junosartsthetic · 4 years

Text

Rohan Headcanons

Here’s eight pages of Rohan shit I wrote late at night. I should stop doing that. But alas, I won’t.

Okey

HeS a lil shit

That’s canon

But

He’s also kinda 🥺🥺

Heavens door also is 🥺🥺

if Rohan isn’t in the mood to give affection heavens door will gladly hug you for hOUrs

It’ll just nestle up against your chest and sorta,,,, fall asleep almost?

N ur like Rohan it’s asleep on my tits

N he’s like,,,, god I wish that were me…. I mean,,,, uhh,,, fuckin sucks 4 you guess you’ll just suffer

he likes drawing you

lol sketches on napkins n such

He just likes lookin at ur face

🥺🥺🥺🥺

He also has a pen somewhere lost in his hair

He keeps it there just in case his other ones get lost

Somehow

Even tho he’s got so fuCKin many

Also he lovEs learning things!

He’ll pick up a book about anything and read it just because

He’ll try to impress u with weird n random facts

Most of the time it doesn’t work

he likes when you mess with his hair

On the outside he’s like

DOnt fuckin touCh me but on the inside he’s like,,,, oooo head scritches r niceeeee

He believes he has an exceptional sense of style and doesn’t take criticism

He wears silk pajamas

But only sometimes

99% of the time he sleeps in his clothes because he passes out from exhaustion mid-drawing

Rohan also likes writing

Just lil things

Poems n such

He’s rather sentimental about certain things

He likes to go to libraries even though he’s got a bunch of books at home because he believes it allows him to better absorb the information he needs

He hates off brand things

It’s a maJor pet peeve

“What the hell is this?”

“What do you mean? They’re pop tarts?”

“THESE ARE NATURALLY FLAVORED FROSTED BROWN SUGAR CINNAMON TOASTER PASTRIES GREAT VALUE BRAND™️!”

“Yeah, pop tarts.”

“JAHDHWHXUWUDUWHDGWG”

He likes to wear slippers

Bunny slippers

They’re cute

He got heavens door a lil pair of them

Gotta match, ya know?

He picks at his eyelashes when he’s nervous

You gotta tell him to stop or else he’s gonna have to wear falsies

That makes him quit for a little while at least

He once accidentally stabbed himself with a pen but refused to go to Josuke for help

He’s still got a scar from it

his house has a basement but he’s never gone down to it

Too scary

He just says he has no use for it

Lies!

He’s a scaredy-cat

He can play quite a few instruments

He can also sing

He sings in the shower

It’s not half bad but his song choices tend to be awful

“STOP FUCKING SINGING ‘I KISSED A GIRL’ IN THE SHOWER OVER AND OVER! ITS SEVEN IN THE MORNING AND IM SICK OF IT!”

He’s got an embarrassing tattoo somewhere

Probably something stupid like a butterfly on his calf

He pretends it doesn’t exist

He used to read random people’s memories with heavens door when bored or uninspired but after a mortifying memory he read he stopped doing that

He once had a coo-coo clock but smashed it because it was getting on his nerves

he hates the sound of gum chewing

It’s the worst™️ to him

he sometimes forgets to shower

Nasty

But when he does shower it is extra™️

He takes reaaaaally long showers

And sings, as established

what the fuck does he even do in there?

Idfk

It’s a secret

He orders takeout because he can’t fucking cook

He’s trash at it

He tries

But he just can’t do it

he tends to make faces when he draws

It’s hilarious

He once drank 17 five hour energies to see what would happen

He doesn’t remember what happened

He awoke 2 days later in the hospital

he enjoys playing scrabble but only because everyone who plays against him ends up crying in anger when they lose

He owns a bunch of record players for the aesthetic™️

Doesn’t use them like ever

Owns like 3 records that he will play once in a blue moon

Everything he does is for the aesthetic™️ tbh

He likes to be held

But only under certain circumstances

Do nOT touch when he is in the middle of drawing something intense

He will turn around and sMAck you with his pen (on purpose or accident? Idk)

He’s clingy

He’s needy

He’s whiny

He’s like a puppy

But with the ego of a cat

He’ll be actively spooning you but assures you he is nOt having the time of his life

Eventually he admits he likes hugs n human contact

But at first it’s like trying to give a cat a bath

Yikes™️

Speaking of baths… bath time!

He likes baths

They’re nice

Bubble baths

They help him think

And he likes to mess with the bubbles

He likes the smell of candles too

You normally buy him candles in special occasions

He loves them

Most of the time

Occasionally he will despise the scent but keep the candle around anyway because he feels bad throwing away a gift

Well, a gift from his s/o

Anyone else he’ll tOss that sucker into the trash

The gift— not the gift giver

Maybe

If it’s Josuke— he’s in the dumpster

Uhhhh

Slightly nsfw but uhh,,,

Boob stress balls?

Nice

It’s a win-win situation tbh

soft, moldable, attached to someone he loves

Amazing

You’ve gotten used to it tbh

Whatever calms him down

Also he likes when you kiss his forehead before going to bed

He’ll be staying up to finish something and you’ll kiss him good night and leave your chapstick on his forehead and he just—

Makes him feel loved

He won’t admit it though

you usually initiate the affection

Sometimes he’ll hold your hand or something in public

In private he’ll be more outgoing but deny it means anything

“What, no I didn’t mean to touch your ass it was an accident”

“You’re still touching my ass”

“It’s still an accident”

you two also get in realllly stupid arguments

“Did you open this door?”

“What?”

“Did you open it?”

“Why would I open the basement door?”

“Did you?”

“No!”

“Liar!”

“Why would I lie about that?”

he’s a blanket hog

Also loves his pillows

He wears a lil sleep mask to bed

It’s cute

he unironically has a hydro flask

It keeps his water cold

He finds the jingling of the ice in it annoying though

I think he wouldn’t enjoy digital art because he can’t feel the paper and the ink and it’s not as personal

he likes eating ramen

Even though it’s terrible for him

If you look closely there are little stains on his papers

It’s ramen broth

But it’s convenient and he can’t cook for shit so it’s what he eats

He acts all refined but he’s not if you look closely

He’s got a reallly messy closet I bet

He tries to keep organized but it’s difficult!

He likes drawing birds

Idk why

Birb

He’s got a framed picture of you on his desk

He looks at it when he’s feeling stressed

It usually calms him down and gets him ready to work

you’ve nude modeled for him a couple times

Half the time he’s not even sketching

You don’t care though

Seeing his suave facade and expression be replaced with red cheeks and stifling coughs is cute

By the end you just give him a kiss and then it leads to—

The nsfw is for later

anyway

He’s tried to get you to draw

But anything you draw he criticizes so harshly that you’ve sworn off showing him your drawings

You know he’s doing it to help you

But it still hurts

you’ll sometimes help shading things in his manga

It’s the only thing he trusts you to do

But only on minor panels

And in small patches

But you still get credit as a background artist so you’re happy

You paint his nails a lot

He doesn’t mind

his favorite color is a dark green like his hair, though he also enjoys gold to match his stand

#this also hasn't been looked over #so uhhh good luck reading it #jjba #jojos #rohan kishibe #rohan #rohan x reader #rohan kishibe x reader #jjba part 4 #jojos bizarre adventure diamond is unbreakable #jjba diu #jjba x reader

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ellemcu · 3 years

Text

I don’t wanna hurt you ( bucky x reader)

Part 1 \\ Part 2 \\ Part 4

Part 3: And he is there.again.

Word count: 889 words

warnings: swearing

You were being kept inside the van for half an hour until one of the soldiers next to you stood up and looked you deep in the eyes. It was your signal to get out and do your job. You stared at him blankly for a few seconds, studying his facial expression and then for up and reloaded your gun. You raised your shirt and your shot wound had stopped bleeding after you had taken out the bullet with your bare hands.

The serum mixed with your abilities made your wounds close up incredibly quickly but that wasn't such a good thing at hydra. It was seen more of an invitation: if the pain they inflict on you doesn't stay for long then it wasn't enough so every single time the pain would be harsher and more unbearable.

You rolled your shirt back down and moved in front of the sliding door, ready to attack any moment now. You waited for the soldier to nod and then she opened the door and hopped out of the van easily. You scanned your surroundings until you saw it. The same damn man. Only this time he was shooting grenades with a RPG at some people at a short distance: two men and a red headed woman.

The man in the black suit made a blonde guy fall from the bridge on top of a bus and that's when you realized those were the people you were sent to kill. "(This dude has just crossed the line) Этот чувак перешел черту'' you mumbled yourself. You started running towards the bridge where they were fighting, debating wether you should kill the man first and then finish your mission or complete your mission and then take your time to torture and eventually kill this asshole who keeps getting on your way. The second option sounded way better.

You were exactly under the bridge when the woman fell down one side of the bridge and then started running towards your direction. You were so ready for this.

You grabbed your gun and reloaded it,raised it towards her and started shooting at her. She rolls on the floor and then throws a small metal ball towards you and before you know it you are being electrified. Energy running through your veins, once again, you looked in her eyes while shaking from the electricity. She kept on running under the bridge until she reached the side where her blonde friend had fallen. She raised her guns and started shooting at the all-in-black dude.

That was your man to kill, not hers.

You grabbed the small ball and smashed it with your hands, the energy dying instantly. You stood up slowly from the ground and started running towards the bridge. Change of plan, first you're gonna kill the dude who looks just like you and then you'll get over with your mission.

You get to a light post and climb it with ease as it brought you high enough for you to jump on the bridge where your first target was shooting, fortunately he hadn’t noticed you, well, you weren’t called shadow for nothing. You stood up straight on the pole and lifted yourself up on the bridge. You pulled yourself up easily and crouched down on your knees.

You lift your head and look at his actions, the way he held his gun, the way he placed his feet on the ground to keep a steady posture, his shoulder- length brown hair moving swiftly thanks to the slight wind blowing, his robust and powerful muscles showing underneath the suit he was wearing, you could’ve sworn you’d seen him somewhere and those swift moves aren’t easily seen around, not that you were out in public, enjoying yourself much.

You let out a deep breath and grabbed your AK47 from your back, reloading it making an old bullet fall to the ground. You look inside your viewfinder, aiming for his internal jugular vein on his neck. You had a clear shot on it because while he was shooting tilted his head slightly, maybe to have a more precise aim. You tightened your grip on your pistol grip and moved your index finger on the trigger.

You were still looking in the viewfinder when you pulled the trigger.

You wanted to see your mission die, at your feet. You wanted to see his blood oozing out of his neck. You didn’t care who he was. You didn’t care if he suffered and you obviously didn’t care if you had to kill another. It was your duty right?

You were waiting for the bullet to hit him until you felt a throbbing pain in your lower abdomen followed by another excruciating feeling on your chest. Damn my chest is really getting killed lol.

Then something hit your upper nape and everything went black.

*******************************

Part 4

Fuck, im into this story too lol. This may be worse than my other parts but I swear to god i can really write so much better but my power is gone and I didn't have much time but I still wanted to go on with the story so here it is. Ik it's shorter too, really sorry guys. I promise the next part is gonna be way better. Hope you still like it,

Elle

#bucky x reader #hydrareader #hydra #steverogers #part3 #natasha #nat #bucky barnes #bucky barns fanfiction #james buchanan barnes #stevebucky #reader x bucky barnes

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misskittysmagicportal · 3 years

Text

When Vicky Needed Honey

(An OC Kiss Week collaboration between @super-unpredictable98 and @misskittysmagicportal. No warnings, just mother/daughter love. Moonwalkers/The Umbrella Academy AU)

I woke up with that weird feeling again. I looked over at Klaus, still pretty much asleep, and grunted. On my way to the bathroom I prayed and prayed, but no luck. My period was nowhere to be found. A couple of days, I can understand, an entire week is a bit more worrying.

The last few days I've been feeling kinda sick, but it could be stress. I've been feeling kinda tired, understandable after two apocalypses. I've been feeling a little dizzy, which could easily be from the time travel... But my period wouldn't come, so that was starting to freak me out.

"Hey, Vanya... Would you buy a pregnancy test for me?" I rehearsed in front of the mirror. "No, no, I should ask Allison. She has a daughter, she'd understand, right?"

I nearly jumped when Klaus shifted in his sleep, I hoped with all my might he didn't hear what I just said. I sat on the edge of the tub and let my head roll back. How the fuck did we let that happen? We always wear a condom!

Well, technically a condom has 98% of effectiveness, according to the box, which I was reading as I thought about it. That means... 2 out of 100 women will get pregnant. With the amount of sex we have, it wouldn't be surprising that I could become part of this 2%. Damn it, Klaus! Why do you have to be so charming? Blame it on three decades of suppressed desire I guess.

I had to talk to someone, someone who wouldn't judge me, someone I could trust. There was only one person I could think of, so I went back into the room and as silently as possible, I slid the black briefcase from under our bed. The date was already set, so all I had to do was open it.

I felt that familiar pull of time travel, that endless rope that dragged me across the universe, which seemed to take forever, even though it was less than a second. As soon as I landed, I regretted it, my stomach did not like the disturbance and I felt like I was about to throw up.

"Vicky? Are you ok?" I felt a gentle hand on my back and took a few deep breaths before being able to turn back.

"Honey! Thank fucking God you're here! I need to talk to you."

"Is it Klaus? It's Klaus. Oh my god, tell me he's alright"

"Alright, I think we should sit down for this one..."

Honey nodded with a smile and took my hand as we made our way to the couch. I chewed on my bottom lip for a little while, thinking of the best way to say it, but I didn't wanna admit it:

"So, I'm gonna say it and I need you to listen because it's very complex," I started. "I think I'm pregnant, and I feel horrible because I don't want to be. Not that I don't want any kids, I do, in the future. The problem is that we just came out of the second apocalypse, everything is a mess, my family is all over the place. I love Klaus more than anything, so I don't wanna throw this onto him, you know? He's been through so much already!"

"Sweetie..."

"And I'm terrified of not being a good mother, the only mother I ever had was a robot. I love her to bits, but what if all I can give my child is robot-love? I don't even know what it feels like, my birth mom clearly didn't love me, she chose to give me away for money, I understand she wasn't expecting to get pregnant out of the blue, but... I don't understand why she couldn't love me. I feel so selfish and so stupid for letting this happen, and I keep thinking about my biological mom, I'm freaking out here," I started sobbing. "You're the only person I can talk to."

Honey began to live for the sound of her “kids” popping by the apartment. She brought the books home with her more often in case Klaus would come by to learn more about himself. Or Luther who really just wanted the tiny woman to hold him the way a robot never could. And Diego who well, was always hitting on her. Allison and Vicky and Vanya helped her feel not so alone.

Yeah, they were her children. They were mostly older than Honey. The discarded. The outcast. Who suffered abuse. They were the bought and sold to a billionaire. They were a magical pregnancy and 43 terrified women, one she would become 15 years from now. Thank God she already knew what one of those felt like.

Honey was checking on Sugar and Sunny as they napped. The large crow with his beak buried in his ebony feathers kept one large yellow eye on them from above. Sunny was enamored with the corvid. Klaus, despite being 35 years older than himself, was deeply jealous.

It was from their room, after hearing a familiar VOIP sound in the living room, that Honey just felt in her body something was wrong. There was an anxiety emanating from Vicky whose back was to her.

“Vicky? Are you ok?” Honey gently touched the woman. She wanted to hug her, but opted for minor affection.

Vicky's expression in response worried Honey. “Is it Klaus? It's Klaus. Oh my god, tell me he's alright.” Her lip started to tremble. For a clone of Leon, Klaus was infused with his mother.

Half an hour later, Honey could only stare slack-jawed over Vicky's guts being spilled all over the couch. So to speak.

Honey took Vicky’s hand and did what her mom would do. What she and Julia found themselves doing with their children. Whether they were full grown men or toddlers. Honey kissed Vicky's hand several times and held it over her heart.

“First of all, I can't speak for your birth mother or the others. I know Klaus told me it was a spontaneous pregnancy. Like BAM! We're suddenly giving birth. For me, even being 45,” Honey shivered dramatically, “I would rather kill Reginald and take you all. But whatever the other women did. That's on them.

“But! If anyone knows about an unexpected pregnancy, it's me. She's asleep in the other room with her brother. I think I realized I was knocked up, I just ignored it until Leon mentioned something about my body being new. We NEVER used protection. Pills in the sixties were for married women only. The fact that we had sex for over a year before anything happened is a freaking miracle.

I took two tests in the flat. Then at the clinic. Just a few weeks before, abortion became legal AND funded by the NHS. I told no one, went and made that woman tell me every single step of the process. I asked how easy the adoption process in the UK is. I wasn't keeping it no matter what.”

Now Honey took both of Vicky’s hands, “You have so many readily available options.” She kissed them both again, “But please just let Klaus know. It's YOUR choice. YOURS. Ultimately, I changed my mind. I had her on my own. Pregnancy, birth, her first six months. I wasn't even on the same continent as Leon. But if my baby would have half his looks, and his way of loving, and even an OUNCE of his heart, Leon deserved to be a dad. I WANTED to have his baby. I don't regret my decision. I don't want to regret yours either. We all love you.”

Honey kissed Vicky's forehead, “I mean I'm your mom now.”

I would've started crying if I wasn't already, it felt so good to finally have someone to hold my hand. I can only imagine dad's reaction if I told him I was pregnant with Klaus' baby... It was awesome to not be judged for once.

"I wanna tell him, I'm just scared... If I really am pregnant, I wanna keep it, but what if he doesn't like it? What if he doesn't wanna be a dad?"

My desperate rambling was interrupted by a blue surge of energy right in the middle of the room, that could only mean one thing... Klaus and Five fell from it with a loud thud.

I had to cover my mouth not to scream, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest, but Honey seemed pleased with the new visitors.

"Jesus Vicky... I woke up and you were gone, I was worried!" Klaus squeezed me in a tight hug.

"I told you she was fine, Victoria can handle herself," Five rolled his eyes. "It's not like she can get hurt."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disappear."

Klaus moved to give Honey a hug as well, she kissed his forehead and urged him to sit down between us.

"I know this face, Scnucki..." Klaus placed his hand on my cheek. "What's wrong?"

I looked over at Honey and she gave me a reassuring nod. With a sigh, I took Klaus' hand, tracing the 'hello' with the tip of my finger.

"Klausie," I tried to muster the courage to say it. "I know the timing might not be the best, things are a little crazy right now, but I think I might be..."

"Might be...?" He stared at me nervously.

"Pregnant."

Klaus' mouth dropped and he widened his eyes. Shit! Shit! He hates it, he wasn't happy. He was gonna leave me right there and then.

"But we always..."

"I know, but apparently condoms are only 98% effective."

"You two really abuse your luck," Five mused.

"Timing isn't great, but if you want to keep it, I'm with you. It's our baby," a smile tugged at Klaus' lips. "And I love you, so..."

"Actually," I got up as fast as I could. "I love you too, but I'm not pregnant. If you guys will excuse me, I gotta go to the toilet, like right now!"

Honey watched as Vicky ran off to the bathroom. She was left with a bewildered Klaus, slack jawed over everything that quickly took place. She could only snort as Leon popped up from the same corner Vicky had just flown around. Mouth agape identical to his clone.

“Alright love,” Leon kissed her on the cheek. “Never told me the kids were coming ‘round for a visit.” He eyed up Five, still uncertain of him.

Klaus dramatically planted a fist on his hip, “Im thirty-six.”

“Too right. What's going on? Is Vicky ok she looked barmy.”

“Well we were almost grandparents.”

“GRANDPARENTS?! I'm thirty! Bloody hell I can't keep track of the ten we have now. Can't handle a baby, mate. Not coming from you. No offense.”

“All of it taken,” Klaus quipped.

“Well we don't need to worry about it. Pretty sure Vicky just overwhelmingly got her period. Better luck next time!”

Every single person in the room nearly knocked Honey flat with a loud in unison “NEXT TIME?”

She wouldn't make that mistake again.

#vicky #the eighth child #honey comb #tupelo honey #ockissweek #ockiss21 #leon x honey #vicky x klaus

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bitchiha · 4 years

Text

A/N: I accidentally posted the request before I finished LOL. So I don’t know much about Tsundere relationships, but I did some reading on it just before I started writing and I hope I did the request some justice! Also I’m literally Kankuros bitch <3

Ps, I’m sorry I didn’t put a keep reading thingy idk how to do it on mobile and my trash laptop is broken 😭😭

Also I didnt include tobirama bc I absolutely hated how his turned out and I had to delete it im sorry 😖

✎ Tsundere relationship! (Hidan, Kank, Naruto)

Kankurō

Ahh, where to start? I think you’ll meet on a mission co partnered with the Leaf...

You and Shikamaru are sent to assist the Sand on a mission. Now, we already know Kankurō is a bit of a sassy mf when it comes to the Leaf like I think he whole heartedly believes the Sand is superior and you also have those feelings about your own village... So there’s an instant dislike for one another. Kinda like an instant rivalry.

Literally the first thing you say to him is “So, the Sand can’t take care of their own missions?” And that sets Kankurō off, “What, how dare you- ack! Temari, that hurt! I’m not gonna let her walk all over us like that, I’ll fight you right now you Leaf Village bi- ow! Temari!” Shikamaru has to hold you back LMFAOO you’re ready to throw hands “Huh, what’s that? Sounds like you’re really determined for me to kick your ass?” He lowkey liked when you said that to him lol.

Anyways, the two of you are bickering the whole entire way to the missions destination. You’ll tease eachother about anything and everything you can. So, once you find out about his puppet master jutsu its only natural that you fall on the floor with laughter. Like full on tears and strangled breathing. Now this is something you can really tease him about.

“What! You still play with dolls? I bet you have little sleep over parties with them and do their hair-“

You’re cut off because he tries to trap you in the Ant. Temari has to strangle him and force him to let you out. You’re lucky he didn’t iron maiden your ass LMFAOO.

This is the kind of the energy you guys carry whenever you see eachother from now on. He’ll see you more often too because you carry out a lot of Leaf and Sand allied missions and duties. Rip to anyone who gets put on a mission with you two tbh.

But on one particularly hard mission it ends up down to the two of you fighting off like 10 enemies. He’s trying to focus on fighting them, but he can’t stop thinking about if you’re okay. His distractedness earns him a particularly hard blow.

You end up having to fight off the remaining enemies yourself, all the while protecting him. The last thing he remembers is you screaming his name when he gets hit and the fear that was in your eyes at seeming him like that. It slowly turns to anger and then you kick the bad guys asses. He’s like half conscious but is laying there like: whatta bad bitch. Then he passes out.

Starts to really admire you after that and his comments aren’t as snarky when he sees you next. It’s more like little jabs and teases because that’s how he shows his affection, but they were no longer the hardcore roasts he’d dish out before. You probably stop flaming his ass too because let’s be real here; you’ve both obviously been attracted to each other from the start you just didn’t want to admit it.

Like cmon, he didn’t wait for you at the gates every single time he knew you were visiting just to insult you first. No. He came there to see your cute ass first!!Same goes for you, like you didn’t take all the missions to the Sand for nothing. You came there to see your fav hot headed puppet master.

He’ll ask you out a few months later, when you end up at the Sand again. Probably takes you to dinner before going back to his place. I 100% see him showing you his puppets and this time you’ll actually show your interest and not just tease him lol. Probably ends up making out with you on his workbench. Ok that’s all.

Naruto

You meet eachother for the first time at Ichirakus. Second to Naruto, you actually bring in the most cash for the place. So it’s surprising you two had never met each other before.

Until now of course. He’s just gotten back from a long mission and he’s dying for some ramen. He strolls right in and orders a miso pork ramen, but the old man tells him there’s no more pork left.

Probably flips his shit like who tf ate it all?? Then the old man points at you. You’re sitting there chowing down you’re literal 15th bowl, the giant stack of empty bowls next to you proving it. You watch the blondie charge right at you while you eat the last miso pork bowl of ramen for the day.

You put the bowl down and wipe your face just as he stops right infront of you, very close to your face. You can see the anger in his eyes, but you are not giving up. Also, the guy looks sorta comical so you basically laugh in his face which gets him more worked up.

“What are you laughing about? You just ate all of old mans pork for the day!! That last bowl is mine, believe it!” Once again you laugh in his face because you just can’t help yourself. Probably end up fist fighting eachother on the spot. Neither of you win because one of you ends up smashing into the bowl, sending it flying right at the old man. He kicks you both out, right after you pay your tab of course.

This arises a competition of who will eat all the miso pork ramen first, it goes on for a good few months. Ichirakus is swimming in your money now. Until one day, when you two arrive at Ichirakus at the same time. You basically have a show down. Unfortunately both your wallets are cleaned out and you can’t even pay off your bills anymore so you’re now indebted to the ramen place.

Narutos mission money won’t even cut it anymore and you can’t pay your debt off either. So you both have to get a job doing Ichirakus dishes until you can pay your debt off.

At first you two wanna strangle each other everytime youre in each others line of sight. But slowly — veryyyy slowly, you start to bond over your love for ramen. Like you can probably sniff the bowls before you clean them and tell instantly what ramen was eaten out of it.

You discover you both have the same favourite instant ramen, the same favourite Ichirakus order, etc... Then before you know it you actually start dating. Nobody knows how it happened because you were rivals for a good couple of months, but now all the sudden your holding hands while and eating ramen together peacefully. Mind blown.

Hidan

You’re a brand new Akatsuki member and you’re cute. Really cute. Not only was Deidara drooling over you too, Kakuzu just asked to file your taxes. Do you even do taxes? You’re a rouge ninja. Anyways, Hidan is so sure that Jashin would love to have you.

You two start taking to eachother and actually getting along pretty well, until he mentions Jashin. You shut him down so quickly after that. Like you’re not interested in his fake God, no matter how cute he is.

From then on he tries to ignore you or is just super petty towards you all the time. Like you just got back from a failed mission with your Akatsuki partner and he’s at the hideout mocking you like “if you prayed to Jashin with me this wouldn’t have happened.”

Literally so fucking petty.

Anytime you suggest an idea to the Akatsuki he immediately tears it down. It doesn’t really matter when he does though because nobody really listens to Hidan anyways, it’s just annoying.

You two get put on a mission together one day because Kakuzu has some important money buisness to take care of. Hidans so pissy about it, “oh come on! Out of everybody you picked y/n? She doesn’t even respect my religion, how are we supposed to work together!?” Kakuzu just looks at him and is like “Hidan, I don’t care about Jashin either.”

Butthurt the whole journey. If you guys get bombarded or run into trouble he probably doesn’t even bother backing you up. If anything he tries to feed you to them LMFAOOO. Such a jerk.

Then, once he thinks that all the bad guys are gone he turns to you all confidently because you got your ass whooped and he’s like “see, I bet if you prayed to Jashin you wouldn’t be injured this bad-“

An enemy just stabbed him right through the chest and he watches the look of shock on your face. That’s when he gets an idea. He falls on the floor super fucking dramatically and you have to take the last guy down for him.

Then you kneel next to him and cradle his body because yes he was such a petty bitch but he actually started to grow on you. So you cry and in this distressed moment you probably even attempted to pray to Jashin because you’re desperate as fuck.

This bitch really makes his eyes flutter open and is like; “y/n?” Really fucking plays off that he was unconscious, “Jashin... Jashin saved me.”

Your ass just got clowned but I mean you believe it because like he just got stabbed right through the heart. Even immortal people should die if they were stabbed in the heart, right? It seemed like it was the case.

So yah he basically just emotionally manipulated you into being semi interested in his religion.

Then he stops being petty with you and probably asks you to sleep with him as an offering to Jashin. “It’s only fitting! He just saved my life afterall.”

Literal definition of a sleeze bag <3

#naruto shippuden #naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines #naruto x reader #hidan x reader #kankuro #hidan headcanons #anime headcanons

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

Safe

yeah, here is me, back with another kylo fic, dont be too surprised lol. also, im sorry if i used wrong terms, i haven’t seen the movies in original language, just dubbed so my knowledge is not the best even though i have done some research.

Summary: Kylo wants to know you are safe all the time, so he decides to teach you how to fight.

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

word count: 1.5 k

masterlist

Walking into the training gym you feel a little unsure how you’ll perform. You’re not even too sure you’re able to learn how to fight and you are perfectly fine with it, but Kylo would not let you roam around without being able to defend yourself, so he convinced you to learn a few stuff from him in case something happens and he is not there to save you.

The doors slide open and you walk into the huge gym he built for himself to train whenever he has the time. You’ve only been here a handful of times and never really cared to look around, but now your eyes wander around the place as you walk further inside. Several different weapons are on display along the walls, each of them deadlier than the last and you wonder if he can use all of them.

Probably yes, he is the best and most talented fighter you’ve ever seen, however he is able to defend himself with his bare hands too.

You spot him standing in the back, his usual black uniform is gone, wearing only his underclothes, a loose sweater and pants, his hair falling forward as he keeps his head down a little, focusing on whatever he is doing.

“Hey,” he greets before even looking at you and when he finally turns his eyes meet yours, the tiniest smile playing on his lips, something only you get to see, no one else.

“Hey,” you shyly smile back as you step next to him and you see all the lightsabers on the table. “Are we gonna use them?”

“Not at the beginning, but eventually, yes. My intention is to teach you how to fight with one.”

“Is this really necessary?” you ask chewing on your bottom lip. He sighs turning to you fully with his body.

“As much as it is my priority to keep you safe at all times, we both know I can’t always be around you and I want to know you are not helpless if something ever happens.”

Keeping your gaze down on your feet, you nod your head knowing he is right. And you completely agree, you’re just not sure if you can do what he wants from you. You’ve never been a fighter, never really tried and you don’t want to disappoint him and give him one more thing to worry about.

“Hey,” he catches your attention cupping your cheek in his hand to lift your head and make you look at him. “It’s going to be fine, okay? It’s just you and me, don’t be afraid.”

You nod and he kisses your forehead before stepping away from you.

As he said, you start off without any weapon, just your bare hands. He is extremely patient with you, explaining and showing everything as many times as needed and he doesn’t get frustrated when you fail to do something. Instead, he seems determined and motivated, keeps telling you to do one more try, right until you finally nail it. Starting from defense, working your way towards the attacking, you learn several useful moves.

You start training every day from then and you can actually feel yourself getting better at it, using the techniques he taught you when the two of you imitate a fight.

“You’re doing amazing,” he cracks a smile as the two of you finish another fight one day. You just shyly shrug as you try to catch your breath, still not completely used to all the energy that’s needed for the trainings.

Walking over to the lightsabers you watch him take one of them and he walks back to you.

“It’s time to level up.”

“You sure about that?” you ask, secretly pretty scared to use one. Just one bad move and someone could get hurt, that’s not something you’d want.

“It’s fine, just listen to me.”

You nod as he hands it over to you and walking behind you his arms come around you, hands covering yours on the handle. His chest is pressed against your back and his head is right next to yours as you keep your eyes on the weapon in your hands.

“Ready? We’re gonna turn it on.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

His thumb guides yours over the switch and then you finally turn it on, bringing it alive. You gasp as you feel a small kick from the energy core when the blade appears.

“Don’t be afraid, you have to be the one in control,” he tells you as he fixes your hands up on the hilt into the right position before slowly letting go and making you hold it on your own.

You don’t move, stand still as he walks around and stops in front of you, the blade coloring his face in a vibrant red shade, his eyes focused on you, ready to save you if anything goes wrong.

“Okay, try to move it. Slowly but surely.”

“Move where?” you anxiously ask, still in the same position.

“To the sides, up, down, anywhere you feel like.”

You stare at the blade for a few seconds, trying to focus before you start moving. Remembering what he taught you, you try to hold it easy but stable enough not to drop it mid-movements. As you turn hour hands around, the blade follows the movement, sliding in the air and you slowly start to feel more and more secure with each movement.

“See? You’re doing great!” he nods approvingly. “Try with one hand.”

In the next twenty minutes he shows everything you need to know about fighting with a lightsaber, shows you the critical points, the not too known moves and all the tricks and tips he has learned through the years.

“Alright, let’s try to fight,” he announces walking over to the table and grabbing his crossguard lightsaber. Once his is back in front of you, he stomps one feet against the floor as he brings the blade out and you inhale sharply.

That’s one move you absolutely love when he does, it’s making you want to go over to him and just tear his clothes off. He is already such a breathtaking creature, but whenever he does this, you can’t help but feel even more attracted to him.

“Try to defend yourself,” he orders and the next moment you see him leap towards you.

You bring yours up just in time to catch his attack, the two blades colliding right between your faces and you gasp at the sudden rush of adrenaline you feel. But you don’t have too much time enjoying the moment, because he is already onto you with another move.

It goes like this for several minutes, him trying to attack you from all directions, making you move around in the gym, and you trying your best to defend yourself and not end up unprotected. With each dodged attack you come to feel more and more confident in the fight, feeling like an actual fighter.

“Don’t lose focus!” he orders around whenever he feels like you lost control. “Always be on alert! You can never know what’s going to be their next move!”

The buzzing sound of the blades colliding fills the gym as you bring everything in you together to show him what you’re capable of. He keeps telling you to listen and focus and you start getting frustrated, because you’re one hundred percent present and doing great, so you decide to up it a little.

While he is concentrated on attacking, you decide to change up the roles and try to attack him. The move catches him by surprise as you let out a growl and swing your lightsaber in his direction. It almost hits him in the side, but he catches it with using the Force right in time, his hand holding up your weapon for a moment before you let go and switch it off letting your hands fall to your sides.

“What was that?” he questions in a stern voice.

“An attack?” you shrug brushing your hair out of your forehead. “Thought you want me to learn how to fight, attacking is part of that, isn’t it?”

As he stares at you with a straight face, for a moment you fear you shouldn’t have done that and you almost start saying you’re sorry when he throws his lightsaber to the ground, closing the distance between you and him, crashing his lips to yours.

You gasp into the kiss, completely caught off-guard, but then throwing your lightsaber away as well you more than gladly return the kiss, tangling your fingers in his hair. His kisses are rough, but you don’t mind, in fact, you’re enjoying it a lot, knowing how big of an effect you just had on him with such a simple thing.

Moments later you finally part, lips feeling swollen and his are a deep red color as well, bringing a smile to your face.

“Okay, let’s get back to work. We still have a lot to do,” he announces, going back to his usual, stern self, trying his best to hide how much he just enjoyed this small encounter.

“Alright,” you chuckle to yourself grabbing your lightsaber from the ground as you get in pose, ready to have another fight. He does the same and when the blades collide once more you both are engaged in the training, knowing well you’ll have some more relevant time for what you did a moment ago tonight, alone in his room.

Please like and reblog if you enjoyed!

#kylo ren #star wars #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren imagines #kylo ren fiction #kylo ren fictions #kylo ren fic #kylo ren fics #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #adam driver #star wars imagine #star wars fiction #star wars fanfiction #ben solo #ben solo imagine #ben solo fanfiction

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normiewrites · 4 years

Text

so, im shifting to a new country within a few weeks, and ive just been going through a roller coaster of emotions, from being excited af to crying myself to sleep every night because of the things im leaving behind. its hard moving, but you just gotta deal with it. i wrote this fic as a catharsis and the comfort that i need. im also thinking of taking a break from tumblr to focus on my life that i have right now before i loose it all.

Warnings: angst

‘I don’t want to go’ - Tobio Kageyama x (g/n)Reader

It was the fifth time that week you had wet your pillowcase, and your nose stuffed. It wasn’t hard doing this silently, after years of practice, it was easy, almost natural, almost as if it was the only thing you were good at, like you could make a career out of it. Small drops of water echoed from the bathroom and you let out a soft shaky breath, the dull ache in your chest seeming to scare away your sleep by each passing minute as you stared at the walls in the dark. You didn’t want to do this, you didn’t want to be unable to sleep because of the tears in your eyes, instead you wanted to smile in your dreams, exploring the wonderful memories you had in this place. But you couldn’t help but see the sadness tearing at the corners of those mystical images, scarring it with only loss.

It wasn’t overbearing, or overwhelming. It was rather silent. It was a beautiful silence, an elegant one, but it was the kind of sound that brought more pain to your throat than being choked, and it scared you. It was worse than being choked, you wanted to desperately rip out your throat, all to end these feelings.

You let out a small sniffle, finding it harder and harder to breath, no matter how hard you tried. You suddenly felt the sheet around you loosen, the body behind you shifting to face your back, still in a deep sleep, dreaming happily and unknowingly of what kind of emotions harassed you every night.

Now the silence felt overwhelming. The person behind you a reminder for how much you were about to lose within the next week. All the emptiness in the dead of the night gave way for the thoughts that haunted you, and it started hammering at your chest. It started out as a dull thud, and the sensation shifted from your chest all the way up to your ears. All your hard work was gone now, soft cries emitting from your chapped lips as hot tears streamed down your face, hands too weak to cover your mouth or even find any purchase in the blankets.

You really did try, you tried so hard to be positive about this. You knew moving away to a better place would be beneficial to your future, and you wanted to celebrate all the memories you’ve had here and you wanted to let your friends know that you would be okay, but would you really be okay? Without all these people who you love so much, would you be okay? You couldn’t fight against those fears that gnawed at the back of your mind.

You couldn’t hear anything but the sobs that filled the room and you clawed at the tightening sensation in your throat, wanting to throw away these ugly emotions. But the water kept falling and so did you. You kept falling deeper and deeper into this crevice that only told you how you would loose everything, how selfish you were to move on to a different life, how you mean of you it is to leave everyone behind, and most importantly how you didn’t deserve to start over.

You couldn’t feel anything, the pent-up emotions overflowing your own body as you kept letting out loose painful cries. What cries were they? Cries of fear? Of help? Of guilt? It could be all, and it most probably was. You couldn’t care, the silence now drilling into your head as sobs raked your body. You let out everything, and it brought a painful burn to your eyes, your whole body too vulnerable to do anything. You didn’t even notice the worried calls of the blue-eyed boy next to you.

“Y/n!” he screamed, holding your face in his hands as he leaned over you, his fingers slightly digging into your cheeks as he searched your face for an answer as to what was happening.

“Y/n, what happened? Are you okay?” he panted softly, relieved that you finally acknowledged him.

“T-Tobio” your voice felt so different, was it even you? That was a stupid question, you could tell it was you by the way a rough sensation ripped through your throat as you spoke.

You looked into the blue eyes that you loved. The blue eyes that glared at you when you stole his milk. The blue eyes that looked at you in awe when you did something cool. The blue eyes that quivered when you were asked out. The blue eyes that fell inlove with you the moment you smiled. The blue eyes that were widened with concern now. It was your favourite colour, and you never wanted to stop looking at them. You desperately rubbed your eyes, trying your best to hold onto that colour as tears blurred your vision, but it started getting too distorted, and you didn’t know what to do.

“Y/n, are you okay?” he asked, his own thumbs gently stroking against your cheeks, riding of any evidence of pain.

“Tobio, I don’t want to go.”

Now the same blue eyes were in pain. They ached looking at your hurt face and they too started forming small beads of tears at the edges. But he knew that he had to stay strong and instead of letting you see the first drop fall, Tobio pulled your body into his. His strong arms holding you close to his chest, letting his lips linger at the top of your head. Despite being held so tight, you didn’t mind it. It was less suffocating than it was a few minutes ago, and it’s a feeling that won’t ever be forgotten.

But remembering that this will soon enough just become another memory sent another wave of tears through your body.

“T-Tobio, I don’t w-want to go” you sobbed, wetting his shirt as you clutched onto it, wanting him to hold you tighter so that you both would fuse into one, so you would never leave him.

Tobio didn’t want you to go either. He always felt so lost without you, and while he knew it was for the better, he couldn’t help but let his emotions blind him.

“I don’t want you to go, y/n” he whispered, his own voice betraying him as his own sobs poured out softly.

As if he wasn’t holding you tight enough, he held you even tighter now, your sobs being suffocated by his chest. He hated feeling the wetness on his shirt grow, he hated when you cried, nothing else brought him more pain than that. But through being in a relationship with you for so long, he learnt you had to be strong for each other.

You were limp against him, all the energy now drained from your body as you could barely move an inch. The sobs stopped, but the dull ache from before remained, and was growing a home in your heart. It was unsettling, but it kept digging deeper and deeper as the last few cries left your lips. You wanted to cry more, but it seemed like you were at a standoff, a sort of peace with reality. You just wanted to stay here, in Tobio’s arms, and not in the empty bed that waited for you in the new country.

“Y/n” Tobios soft voice broke through the silence, “it’s going to be okay.”

Tobio was never good with words, but when he spoke with such sincerity and vulnerability, nothing could defy him. You nodded your head softly, acknowledging him, feeling how his throat vibrated with words against your forehead.

“Loving you is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. And you can’t see it now, but moving will also be one of the best things that will happen to you. I can’t guarantee that there won’t be pain, and that we will be able to hold each other like this soon, but I can guarantee that you won’t regret this. You moved here when you were young, and look at what happened. Don’t loose hope, boke. I believe in you.”

You didn’t have to question it, Tobio was right. While it stilled pained to think about it, moving was still slightly exciting. You just had to get through the pain first, and it would be hard without Tobio at your immediate side, but you knew that he believed in you, and loved you, and you didn’t need anything more.

“I love you, Tobio. Never forget that” you whispered, a small smile on your lips as you basked in the warmth of his body.

“Of course, I won’t forget that, what do you think I am? Stupid?” he asked, flicking your forehead softly.

You chuckled at that, and Tobio bit his lip, trying his best to hide his smile from making you laugh genuinely, but you could see it from the corners of your eyes. Sighing softly, you didn’t realise how the dull ache faded away. The silence was now warm and it let you fall asleep better than you could in the past few days.

Right before you could drift away into a well needed sleep, you heard his soft voice again.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you too, everything’s gonna be okay.”

#not feeling too good but everything's gonna be okay :)#tobio kageyma #tobio x reader #kageyama x reader #tobio kageyama x reader #tobio kageyama angst #tobio kageyama fanfic #karasuno #karasuno x reader #haikyu!!#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #hq

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friendlylocalwhumper · 5 years

Text

"You didn't mean it?! Come on, you know exactly what you just said. Say it again!"

Lux is watching one of his friends - Emory's friends - looking for the right thing to say as he's yelled at; he has to step in, deescalate. If he doesn't, there will be more yelling, maybe things being slammed and doors being thrown open, people storming out. This is his house, Lux doesn't want anyone angry here. If Emory was still beside him on the couch, if he hadn't gone out to the store to grab some more snacks, this would be resolved already.

"You're a goddamn warlock sympathizer," The one who's been yelling, a friend of a friend who was invited to hang out tonight, accuses with a finger jabbed toward the one who pissed him off. "There's nothing you can say to change my mind."

Lux wants them all gone, now. The word warlock has been growled like a filthy, ugly slur, and Lux doesn't feel comfortable with that, doesn't feel especially safe right now. He needs to stop this before it gets worse. Raising his hands, palms forward in a placating gesture, he steps forward. Steps between the two who are arguing. "Hey, there's - there's no need to yell. You're not hearing him out."

The guy looks furious at someone stepping in. "You one too? You don't think warlocks are criminals, killers, huh?"

Someone from behind Lux tries to help by speaking up. "He didn't say that, no one said that. But, man, you're a guest here, show some respect, huh? We don't talk politics when we're hanging out."

Lux steps back when that makes the angry guy, Shane, advance. "No, no, we're gonna talk about it. Get out of my way, Lux, I just wanna talk with him."

On the topic of magic, non-warlocks don't just talk. They hurt people, kill them. Lux holds his ground. "No," He answers, quiet in his determination. He's not exactly scared right now - being in his own living room, with his friends behind him, keeps what would usually be fear at just plain nervous energy. "Please leave."

A hand shoves against his chest, forcing him to stumble back, and Lux blinks in confusion. It takes him a moment to register that he was just pushed in anger. Like this is an argument on a playground. Humiliation buds in his stomach, because he knows that the fear is coming quick, and he's going to back down whether he wants to or not. Shane follows, since Lux is still in the way, and it takes everything in the warlock not to apologize.

Lux's friends have circled around, gotten closer, but the shove must have looked more gentle than it felt. It wasn't an attack, really; maybe Lux was actually in the wrong, standing in the way, and no one's certain that he should keep pissing Shane off.

"He's a piece of shit for what he said," Shane hisses, jerking his head toward the one behind Lux, still unable to find the words that feel right to respond with. "Warlocks not being so bad. Tsk." Lux had liked the comment, liked the casual neutral (positive?) thought shared after they all watched a government-sanctioned anti-magic ad on TV. He didn't think someone would get all up in arms about it. "Warlocks killed my uncle."

Silence falls, and Lux feels like the mood changes from being aimed against Shane to possibly sympathizing with him. Will all of Emory's friends really stand aside and let someone beat one among them for a harmless comment about warlocks?

"I'm sorry for your loss," Lux offers nervously. "I just, I think - I think we can talk about it j-just fine without, without fighting. I n-, I need you to calm down. Please."

"Calm down?!" Shane grabs Lux's shirt in one fist and slams the other into the side of his head. Lux cries out in surprise with the blow, reeling, trying to pry the hand off his shirt so he can get away. "Step the fuck off!"

With a massive shove, Shane sends Lux stumbling backward, away from the group. Lux knocks over the little table by the windows and falls to the floor, cupping his throbbing cheek with a shaking hand and ducking his head down, shoulders scrunching up defensively.

There's yelling, cursing, more shoving, over where the group stands. Shane is outnumbered, and Emory's friends push him out the door, slamming it and muttering in anger. Lux listens hard for further danger as he tries to keep his breathing even.

"God, Emory's gonna kill that guy. Hey, Lux. Lux, you okay over there, man?"

Someone's walking toward him. Acutely aware of the six guys still in the house, all focused on Lux and probably wondering why he's still on the floor, the warlock pushes himself up to his feet and hopes that he doesn't sway noticeably. "I-I'm okay." He's not. He's replaying every hint of aggression, every word, every development in his head. He could have prevented it from escalating into violence. He could have been more confident and told Shane to leave as soon as he got worked up. Now the glass vase that was on the table is broken, and every shard lying on the floor grates at Lux's nerves. He needs to clean it up, and right the table and chairs, and poke at his cheek while staring in the mirror to guess if it'll bruise, and be alone in a quiet empty house.

Instead, he stays upright, and lowers his hand from his cheek, and takes a deep breath. Before he can think of a way to explain that he's too upset now to keep hanging out - maybe he can ask them to leave, or even just hide in the bedroom while they have fun? - someone speaks up.

"I'm sorry, Lux, I shouldn't have said that thing about warlocks, it wasn't cool. I mean, not what I said, but bringing up politics. And I should've talked 'im down, that was on me, since I riled him up."

It's Corbin, the guy who apparently thinks not all warlocks can be bad.

"Nah, what you said was cool. It's always good to say kinda edgy shit so the real jerks show their true nature. I shouldn't have invited Shane, that was my bad, Lux," Jason apologizes.

The others nod and grunt in agreement. Lux's heart flutters. "You - you guys agree with Corbin?"

"About what, warlocks? I mean, maybe. Agree with him a little more after seeing some meathead asshole try to beat him up for saying it," Tyler contributes, rubbing the back of his head.

Jason shrugs. "I wouldn't want to be near a warlock. But if one of my friends turned out to be one... or one'a my cousins... what can you do? I wouldn't want 'em to get hurt. Trying to start fights over it, it's not right. Just, you know, any magic shit, don't want it near me, that's all."

It's more acceptance, meager as it is, than Lux has ever heard out of a group of people without magic. He can't speak past his emotions.

"That okay by you, Lux? I mean, if you don't want to hear this stuff in your house, that's fair, I know it's -"

"No! No, I - I'm just, nervous, after..." Lux gestures toward the door, then walks hesitantly toward the group that he sees so differently now. "Do you... what do you guys think about cops?"

"Buncha assholes," Corbin answers immediately, and shrugs when one of the guys looks surprised at that being said out loud. "I mean, seriously. I don't care why they're arresting someone, you don't drag somebody outta their bed, throw them in a cop car in the middle of the night, scare their momma."

There's a chorus of agreement, and they keep talking, all sitting back down, sharing their thoughts on the law and warlocks and things that are never, ever talked about openly. Lux can scarcely breathe, he's so anxious, but this is amazing, it's - he never thought it was possible. He listens raptly, nodding in agreement sometimes, getting constant thrills of excitement at increasingly brave admissions of sympathy toward warlocks. When he thought of Emory coming home to find him cowering on the floor with a bruising cheek, he thought Em might be disappointed, his fun night ruined; now, now Emory might be proud. Lux is proud of himself, and of Emory's friends. It was so worth being hit and yelled at to get a chance to see this.

#whump #drabble #afraid #angry #lux #fight #friends #mine

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angrylizardjacket · 4 years

Text

i keep digging myself down deeper // charlotte&lola

Summary: Lola takes Charlotte to confront her mother after finding out that she lied about Lola’s dad’s death. Lola is plotting a murder. Charlotte is trying to fix her moral compass. They still end up in a graveyard.

A/N: tagging @misscharlottelee as always, and @local-troubled-writer . this made me so fucking sad folks. also i think lola is overall a better person in this au and im so sad about the main story too now. wrote it at work.

[run to paradise au]

“Take Charlotte,” Doc says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world, like he knows Lola’s on a knife-edge and can trust the younger woman to pull her back. He says it like he’s trying to throw a wrench in whatever malicious scheme she’s concocting that she thinks he doesn’t know about it.

Take Charlotte. Unlike you, she’s good. Is what Lola hears, and it sets her teeth on edge. It could have been Tommy, but Doc knows better than anyone that Lola’s got that man wrapped around her little finger, though he’s the backup if Charlotte won’t go, because god knows Lola hates Mick enough to murder him on a trip out of state, and she and Nikki together will never do anything good. He could ask Vince, but that’s asking for trouble, and Vince has actually kind of settled down. Lola on a rampage is liquid heroin, and Vince is finally in recovery. So take Charlotte, somehow the only stable one of the lot.

“We’re going to pay respects to your dad, right?” Charlotte’s got a backpack full of clothes for if they stay longer than intended, and Razzle on her heels, offering to drive them both to the airport. Lola confirms. “And Doc doesn’t trust you?”

“No he does not,” Lola grumbles through her teeth, throwing a glance over her shoulder at Nikki, on the sofa wearing only his boxers, covered in scratches and hickeys.

“He’s a smart man,” Charlotte says with a smile, but Lola’s not matching her energy, just rolls her eyes. That being said, Lola’s at the very least grateful that Charlotte’s not walking on eggshells around her the way everyone else seemed to, Nikki notwithstanding, since she’d found out her father had died when she was nine, and her mother had lied about it to her, and she’d believed that he’d just left because she was a bad kid ever since.

But now she was out for revenge, had told Doc she’d just wanted to visit her father’s grave, but the moment she’d been given the go-ahead, she knew she was heading home to confront and kill her mother for everything she’d put Lola through.

When they get on the plane, Lola’s pretty sure she can see Razzle waving from the terminal, and when she points this out, Charlotte leans over her and waves back, despite Lola’s noise of disgust.

“Don’t be like that Lols, notice how I didn’t say anything about your hickeys and band aids on the way here? You look like you had a raccoon try and rip out your jugular,” Charlotte tells her with a smirk, sitting back before avoiding her gaze, “and I don’t think Nikki would give it up that hard if you were still really grieving, so what’s your real plan here?” Cutting straight to the point, she’s so unbelievably no-nonsense about it, seeing through Lola before Lola had even fed her a lie. Lola knows she could convincingly lie to Charlotte in a heartbeat, but it’s not worth the effort; either way she’d have to tell her.

“I’m gonna kill my mom,” Lola tells her under her breath, before smiling at the stewardess doing final checks, while Charlotte sits in stunned silence.

“You’re gonna murder her?” Charlotte matches her volume, though her voice is full of disbelieving rage. They haven’t even taken off yet. Lola hums in agreement. “What? Just gonna shoot her in the face? You don’t even have a -”

“A plan? Of course I do. I’m gonna burn her house down. With a flare gun,” Lola fires back easily, before adding, “shooting her is Plan B. Also with a flare gun.”

The flight is only a few hours long, and Charlotte spends it fuming in silence, not wanting to cause a scene on a plane, in the airport, or in the taxi to the hotel. There’s no words for the rage, for the betray, for the being an accessory to murder, and she’d probably fight Lola if the older woman didn’t have biceps the size of a rotisserie chicken.

Lola leaves, claiming to get dinner, and comes back with a greasy burger and a flare gun, and Charlotte wants to cry, wants to scream, wants to believe this is all a bad dream.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” is what she says, and Lola gives a patient smile.

“Charlie, please just remember she set me on fire,” and she puts the flare gun on the bedside table, puts her trash in the bin, and goes to bed.

Maybe Charlotte considers taking the gun and throwing it in the ocean. But she doesn’t. Deep down, she’s pretty sure Lola’s not capable of murder, enough that she leaves the gun there; it’s trust. Lola wouldn’t make her an accessory to murder. Probably.

“You’re only an accessory if you come,” Lola tells her over a room service breakfast, and Charlotte feels like she’s going to be sick, “go sight seeing, meet me at the airport,” she shrugs, “if the cops ask you questions, just play dumb, like you do every time they come looking for Nikki or Tommy.”

“You’re not going through with this -”

“I’ll be done by midnight,” Lola’s not usually so focused and sincere, seemingly trying to ignore Charlotte’s negativity.

“Please, Lols, don’t do this; don’t do something crazy that you’ll regret,” Charlotte almost begs her, and Lola’s teeth stretch into a snarl.

“So I’m only allowed to be crazy when it benefits you, right?” She snaps, finally, and Charlotte swallows hard, eyes going wide in surprise. “Because when we rock up to your cheating ex’s house and I’ve got a baseball bat, you can call me crazy and be proud -”

“I never called you crazy,” Charlotte says through her teeth, completely unprepared to handle Lola, who’s never actually lashed out at her before.

“No, Duff called me a psycho, and you believed him, didn’t you? But I was your psycho, wasn’t I, Miss Lee,” Lola’s voice turned cruel and mocking, “it’s okay if I’m a psycho so long as you can wind me up and point me in the direction of whoever you want fucked up -”

“After fucking everything we’ve been through, you’re gonna accuse me of just using you?”

“No,” Lola said easily, flipping from feral to collected with an almost terrifying speed, “we’re friends, Charlotte, I know this, I just don’t think you’re used to my anger not benefiting you.” Her lips twitch into a cool smile, “I think you forget that we’re very different people, Charlie; before I met you, I was blowing cops to get me and Nikki out of trouble every other week, and all that’s changed is that Nikki has started bribing his way out.” it almost seems like a point of pride, and Charlotte has no fucking idea what to say to that. “But sure, I can be crazy when we’re hurting the boy who broke your little heart,” she coos in a mocking falsetto, before her expression just turns cold, “but when it comes to the woman who abused me during my formative years and set me on fire, sure,” she rolled her eyes, miming screwing a lid on a jar, voice dripping with sarcasm, “I’ll put a lid on it, for your sake.” She spat.

“I’m sorry I don’t want you to commit fucking murder,” Charlotte blurts out, realising far too late that she’s crying, and Lola’s hard resolve instantly crumbles, “I’m sorry if it seems like I’m just, just, just using you for your anger, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry,” and she’s just crying now, sitting in the hotel with her head in her hands, “obviously I don’t think you’re a psycho.”

“Yes you do,” Lola sighs, but it’s neither angry nor an accusation, its defeat, a label she’s worn for a long time finally spoken by one of the only people she actually respected, “and I am; there’s nothing you can do to help it.”

“Please don’t hurt anyone, Lols, please,” Charlotte begs, and Lola heaves another deep sigh.

“Go home, Charlotte, go back to Razzle and pretend this was all a bad dream; I don’t want you living in my reality. You’re better than that.”

“You shouldn’t live in this reality; Lola, you’re scaring me, I’ve known you for half a decade, and for the first time,” Charlotte snifled, sitting up a little straighter and avoiding Lola’s dark gaze, “I’m fucking terrified, okay? You’ll go to jail for the rest of your life.”

“Small price to pay,” Lola shrugs, and Charlotte’s going from guilty to frustrated fast, but Lola’s voice turns hard, “go home, Charlotte.”

“No.”

“You’re not a felon,” Lola finally snaps, voice flat and angry, “you’re a romantic at heart with terrible taste in friends.” Finally, Lola stands, and Charlotte’s shocked into silence.

“You’re the worst friend I’ve got,” it’s like it’s finally hit her, voice a little breathless, a little disbelieving, and Lola gives a wry smile.

“Now you’re getting it.” And she leaves. In the middle of the day. Leaves Charlotte alone and fragile in the hotel, off to do god knows what, possibly off to commit murder.

Charlotte calls Razzle; she’s never been scared of what Lola’s been capable of, maybe it’s that she’s never really thought Lola could commit murder, but now she’s afraid. The only thing that’s ever terrified Lola was her mother, and now, knowing what she knows, the truth about everything she’s been through, in some twisted way Charlotte can easily see how Lola’s made herself believe that the murder is just. Charlotte’s never known a killer, not really. Razzle reassures her over the phone, tells her that Lola’s just gone to blow off steam but that she’s got a good heart under all of it. She’s motivated by loyalty, not revenge. But then it hits them both; Lola’s mother besmirched her father’s name for years, the first person Lola ever truly loved and looked up to. The only man she’s been even more loyal to than Nikki is her father; and she’d kill for either of them in a heartbeat.

“I need to stop her,” Charlotte’s still got tear tracks drying on her cheeks when she sits bolt upright, phone still to her ear, “do I- should I call the cops?” She asks, and Razzle hesitates. It would be a betrayal that would send Lola spiraling further.

“Go to her, you know you can talk her down; she loves you, she listens to you,” Razzle tells her, and when he says it, so sweet, so gentle, so self assured, she almost believes him, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She tells him, before sniffling loudly, “wish me luck.” She tells him, feeling far more capable than she had minutes before; Razzle was good like that, was supportive like that, knew just what to say when Charlotte needed to hear it.

Charlotte knows the address that Lola was given, and heads there first, but the street is quiet, the house is quiet, and there were no signs of Lola to be seen. She drives for a bit down the road, heart beating in her throat, anxious and mind jumping to all sorts of terrible conclusions, but there’s no signs of any disturbance. Lola had been on foot, and had left only an hour and a half ago, she couldn’t have gotten far.

At the end of the street, there’s a park, and Charlotte comes to realise that school must be on break, because it’s teaming with parents and children, and she searches, wonders, thinks she sees someone who looks a bit like Lola, but doesn’t stick around to make sure. That woman looks too old to be Lola.

She checks bars and liquor stores and gas stations, and finally has a hit from a cashier who sold her two bottles of vodka, and the gas station attendant who had given her a pack of smokes, despite her having already gone through a quarter of a bottle in the half-mile between stores.

The only thing at the end of this street was a graveyard.

Lola’s wasted, unable to stand, sitting with her back against a faintly worn grave, mumbling to herself.

“How could she do this to us, dad?” Is the first thing Charlotte hears from her, an angry growl. With one hand around the neck of a mostly empty vodka bottle, the other comes to forlornly pet the gravestone. Catching sight of Charlotte out of the corner of her eye, Lola’s entire expression crumbles, and for the first time in their whole sordid history, Charlotte watches Lola begin to cry. Angrily, almost defiantly, she searches her pockets, before pulling out a cigarette, lighting it.

“Dad,” Lola says to no-one in particular, looking out ahead instead of at her best friend, face scrunched with angry tears, “meet Charlotte,” she announces, and Charlotte’s words die in her throat; “Charlotte, meet my dad,” and she nods to the headstone she’s leaning against.

“I thought -” Charlotte tries, but no words come to her.

“We’ve just been catching up,” Lola takes a long drag from the cigarette, coughing when she follows it with a swig of vodka.

“What happened?” Charlotte asks quietly, approaching like Lola was a wild animal. Lola grumbles something unintelligible, mostly under her breath, and Charlotte gingerly sits beside her.

“He was a really, really fucking good man,” Lola murmurs, forlorn, resting her head on Charlotte’s shoulder, startling the younger woman, who wasn’t quite sure how to deal with this situation just yet, “he would have loved them, Motley,” she clarified, and she takes another smoke, “he was always a huge fan of rock, always had the hair to match. Mom would call him a long-haired yahoo but it was never malicious, it just-” she was crying now, and she had to pause, “she would have loved them too, back then, but when he was gone, I think she just started hating everything that reminded her of him.” She pauses, taking another drink, her voice defeated when she finally spoke, “probably why she hated me so much."

Silence, then;

"She has a kid.” Its the most defeated she’s ever sounded. Even Charlotte feels it like a punch to the gut. “She gets to play happy families, and I get to slowly dig myself an early grave,” she finishes her cigarette and immediately lights another.

“Lo, what happened?” Charlotte asked once more, and Lola turns to her, eyes bloodshot and mouth in a thin, unhappy line.

“Nothing.” It sounds like it hurts to admit, “because I’m not a psycho,” she says quietly, “I’m not gonna hurt that kid.”

“Your… sibling?” Charlotte almost winces as she says it, but Lola laughs in an almost disbelieving way, leaning her head back against her father’s gravestone.

“My little brother; Milo, I think. I didn’t stick around long… she doesn’t even know I’m here."

Charlotte wraps her arm around Lola’s shoulder, pulls her in for a hug, and Lola melts into her, lets herself be pulled into hug, her head on Charlotte’s shoulder as she cries unashamedly. They sit on the grave of Lola’s father until it gets dark, wrapped up in each other, giving comfort and getting drunk, and there’s stories spilling from Lola that she’d never told anyone; happy times from before her shit got dark, before her father passed, stories she’d thought she’d forgotten.

"Did you mean what you said?” Charlotte asks finally, voice fragile, vodka burning through her veins, “do you think I have bad taste in friends?” Lola contemplates for a long while before humming.

“I think you deserve better than me. And Nikki. I think you’ve got good friends, Peach and Eileen, they’re good friends,” Lola nods resolutely, “they wouldn’t drag you down to Boston just to argue with you and watch them chicken out on murdering their mom.”

“They don’t wanna murder their mom to begin with,” Charlotte agrees with a half laugh, her arm tucked into Lola’s, resting her cheek on Lola’s shoulder. Lola hums an agreement. Gently, she rests her head against Charlotte’s.

“I’m sorry, Charlie.”

They gaze out into the graveyard, tired, drunk, and world-weary beyond their years. Moments like these are a sharp reminder to Charlotte, of just how terrifying Lola’s world can be, and just how lonely she once was. The way Lola clings to the band, to Charlotte, it very suddenly made clear and perfect sense.

“You’re not the worst friend I’ve got, Lols, not even close; you give a shit when it counts the most. About me, about our band-family; you give so much of a shit you’d kill for us. You’re probably the most loyal person I’ve ever met.” Charlotte tells her honestly, and Lola’s quiet, before sniffling loudly, and laughing.

“Stop it, Miss Lee, I promised Tommy I wouldn’t have a thing for any more of his family,” Lola jokes, but hugs Charlotte tightly as she squawks with horrified amusement.

Its a considerable walk back to the hotel, but as Lola crashes onto the soft mattress of the bed, she feels worlds lighter than when she’d woken up.

#nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #rtp #motley crue #motley crue imagine #the dirt #the dirt imagine #charlotte&lola #the angry lizard writes #lola & charlotte

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