#kylo ren fic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littlebugs · 8 months

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Can I request for Kylo Ren in which the returns with him from a failed mission? She made a mistake and maybe Kylo made it clear to her that he was very upset about it during an argument afterwards. She tries to make up for it by doing a mission on her own, only on this one she gets badly hurt and is brought back by Hux after finding her severely wounded/injured. When Kylo learns of it, he flips out thinking she wasn’t going to make it alive, but in the end, she survives and makes a full recovery. Something short and sweet in the end between them as he takes care of her during the healing process. Thanks! ❤️

(I hope this is okay! If not, feel free to ignore it!)

i love you

warnings: injury, very angsty (fluff ending), fem presenting reader (she/her pronouns), mild language, written at 1am so not the best proofreading, toxic kylo in the beginning 😓 a/n: thanks so much for the request love! i got carried away writing this lol, sorry if its a lil long!

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

"Shit," you cursed as you sprawled over the couch in yours and Kylo's living room. You'd messed up today. It was tiny, minuscule, just a little mistake. You hoped it wouldn't matter to Kylo. But you knew better.

The large door, black, matching most of the Commander's gloomy interior, swung open. And slammed shut. You nearly fell off the couch, already exhausted from the days work. "Hey Ky..." you trailed off. He looked absolutely terrifying. Blood on the toes of his boots. Holes ripped through his outfit. But the worst of all, his face. He looked- angry. Disappointed. Annoyed. Maybe even..disgusted?

"Shut up," He threatened, walking up to you. His arms crossed, feet spread apart, you knew you were in for it. From your spot now on the floor, huddled in a ball, you felt defenseless. "You messed up today," he scolded. "This was a covert operation. We had one shot at this, and you blew it." His voice was a low, seething growl.

"I'm sorry I had a- momentary.. lapse in judgment?" You didn't know what to say. This wasn't supposed to be a big deal. It was a tiny mess up. You forgot to disable a single security camera. Just one. It wouldn't matter anyhow, as the saber marks lining the walls of the Rebel base being hijacked was a sign as to who the attacker was.

"Sorry isn't going to fix this. We're on the brink of a war, and this mission was crucial. The Supreme Leader trusted us, and now, because of your mistake, we might have just handed our enemies a victory," he nearly shouted.

Kylo's voice rose as he continued, but it was as if you were underwater, the sounds muffled and distorted. Your eyes filled with tears, blurring your vision. You couldn't let him see you like this. "I-I'm sorry," you mumbled, as you got up from the ground and staggered to the door.

You scarcely cried. There were many things the two of you never did, which maybe you should have done. It wasn't a conventional relationship. You'd only cried in front of him once, years ago. He had left you, crumpled on the floor, unable to deal with the sudden emotion. He never told you he loved you. Not even once. You shared a ship, meals, even a bed with him, and even in your most intimate moments, he just... didn't seem to feel anything. At least on the exterior. You hoped.

"Leave me." you stammered, nose already running. "Did you think I was going to follow you? Pathetic. Absolutely worthless. Do you think I even care-" He stopped, dead in his tracks, after catching sight of your face, glimmering in tears. "M'sorry" you mumbled, and quietly closed the door behind you.

Breathing in the cool air of The Supremacy, you quickly wiped your face before any troopers nearby could catch sight. Word traveled fast, and although it was a big ship, news could be spread in mere hours. You remembered the first time you had to deal with the gossip, it had been your first one night stand with Kylo, before any relationship. You left in the dead of night, but one lucky Stormtrooper caught you on the security camera. The next day, half the the Supremacy was staring you down, and the other half was triumphantly giving you high fives (Knights of Ren included.)

Life seemed...simpler. Now you were plastered on the wall to Kylo's rooms, breathing in slightly sterile air as you tried to get your wits about you. It being 11pm already, you decided to make way to your old room. Walking down the hallway, you encountered little confrontation. That was the good part of being in relation to Kylo. Then there was the name calling, the teasing the "Commanders whore" whispered behind your back. It all made you want to cry again, and you were grateful to near your room.

As you unlocked the door, your old life greeted you. There wasn't much left really, as you had inhabited Kylo's space for the past months. You had thought maybe...maybe he was changing- that he would one day tell you how he felt? Yeah right, you thought, as you walked in, flopped down on the bed, and stared at the ceiling. Looking around you, a chair sat to your left, with a window showing the view of a million stars outside. A bathroom and dresser to your right, emptied of all your items. Not that you had any in the first place, but Kylo had spoiled you as of recent.

You couldn't stop thinking about him. His face when he saw your tears. The way he had yelled at you nonstop. The fact that he didn't seems to care.

In the dimly lit room, shadows danced across the walls like haunting specters. Suddenly feeling cold, you huddled beneath the covers of your bed. The air was thick with silence, now broken only by the muffled sobs that racked your body. Your fingers clutched at the sheets, the fabric twisted and knotted in fists of despair. With each passing moment, the tears fall harder, faster, until you couldn't breath. You gasped, shuddered, and with a pounding headache, went to sleep, soiled clothes and all.

Unbeknownst to you, Kylo stood near your door, listening to your sobs feeling...terrible. He hated hearing you cry. It filled him with disgust not in you, but now in himself. For making you feel this way. And through the Force, he heard your thoughts, the desperate calls to be openly loved that Kylo had so valiantly ignored. He thought to wake you, but instead headed back to his quarters.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

The next morning, at 6 am sharp, you woke up with solid determination. You were going to show him you weren't pathetic, worthless...disgusting. You were always soft, especially in comparison to him, but you weren't pathetic. Or at least you hoped so.

As you headed to the mirror, you jumped at your reflection. That wouldn't do. You would also have to make it work with the meager amount of supplies at hand, but you could do it. After opting a shower to the refresher, so you could use scented soaps and lotions, you blow dried you hair, and styled it to the best of your ability. "Not too bad," You thought to yourself as you brushed on mascara and lip balm. "Nothing crazy" you told yourself, but betrayed your thoughts as you opted for a smaller sized uniform.

Exiting your room, you felt misery and despair inside of you, but at least you looked like you had it together. Making your way down to the control center of the Supremacy took quite a while, it being a literal Mega Class Dreadnought ship, but it gave you time to think. Think of what you were going to say to him. You could apologize. You could pretend nothing happened. You could act all mushy and touchy. Or just ignore him completely.

You decided to just fuck it and ball. Walking into the room, the control center hummed with the usual tension that permeated the First Order's headquarters. The air was thick with the weight of strategic discussions and the ever-present rivalry among its officers.

Then you saw him. The air seemed to crackle with electricity as he moved, his presence commanding attention. You had always been drawn to the enigmatic power he exuded, and despite the fight, that magnetic pull remained intact. You were immediately waved over by General Hux, and as you walked over to a control table in the very front of the room, getting closer, you regretted your decision. The mask, the robes...everything about him was just huge. Intimidating. Compared to your scantily dressed body, he looked like he could envelope you whole. Maybe you wanted him to.

Deciding to play with him a little, you boldly stood next to Hux, leaning over to look at the schematics on the table so Kylo had direct view of you. Though the mask concealed his emotions, you could sense the internal turmoil beneath it. He was distracted, and you knew why.

Hux sighed and rolled his eyes, in classic fashion. He was never one for your machinations, but continued explaining the mission at hand, obviously annoyed. You didn't bother listen, opting to shift around in a way that made Kylo's fists clench.

At what seemed like the end of the brief, Hux tiredly asked "So we'll need an Admiral or Commander to volunteer for this mission. As I know both of you do not care in the least so I will just-" You cut him off. "I'll do it." Both Kylo and Hux turned towards you, silent. "But you never do anything-" The General retorted. You roll your eyes. "Shut up Hux. I'm going." The redhead sputtered. "But-you... -You don't even care! Ever!" "Ok well, I'm a Commander, and I'm going," You spat, not bothering to glance at Kylo, who hadn't moved an inch in the last minute. You stormed away, but not before hearing Hux call "Don't screw this up Commander," and scoffing.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It wasn't going well. You had overpowered the Rebel base, which was somewhat pitiful, but managed to get a blaster wound to the side which was currently steaming in a way that did not look safe. Most of your troops had made it through, save the couple of troopers who'd been shot here and there. The masks made it harder to remember they were human, people on the inside. Limping back to your ship, you woozily asked Hux to make someone check the surrounding areas for stragglers as you slumped into the seat, adrenaline still preventing you from feeling the full pain of your wound.

Setting the TIE on autopilot, slowly coming back to reality, you looked down to the left of your torso. You had almost dodged the blast, the wound cauterized by the superheated plasma, leaving a sizzling, blackened mark on your flesh. Smoke rose from the wound, carrying with it the acrid scent of burnt fabric and singed skin. The pain intensified with each passing second, as if a red-hot poker has been driven into your side.

You clenched your teeth, trying to stifle a scream, as you grasped at the wound. Your fingers came away slick with your own blood, which oozed from the wound and trickled down your side. The ride was short. Only 30 minutes at full speed. You could probably..maybe hold on. You busied yourself coating the wound with Bacta spray, which took most the time, considering the fact that every movement made your side burn and sting like never before.

After successfully applying the antiseptic, you started to see the giant that was the Supremacy. It slowly appeared as a behemoth of steel and darkness, adorned with the stark, angular design characteristic of First Order aesthetics you had come to be so familiar with. You were on course, but you'd have to manually land the plane. "Oh for Kriffs sake" you muttered to yourself, trying to figure out how you were even alive.

You painstakingly moved your right arm to the control panel, and started the descent, aiming for one of the many hangars. It seemed to take forever, but with a final, skillful maneuver, you brought the ship to a shaky landing on the hangar deck. The ship's landing struts had absorbed the impact, but the screech of metal against metal reverberated through the hangar.

You all but fell out of the fighter, letting out a strained "I'm aight-" before collapsing into the arms of medical personnel, whom immediately transported you to the medical wing.

Not known to you, the second of your arrival, Kylo was storming down the hall, looking menacing as ever. Although he looked same as ever, on the inside, his emotions swirled inside of him. He was freaking out. He powered through the med bay, drawing terrified looks from doctors and patients alike, not stopping until he found your room.

He ripped the door open, all calm was lost. "Is she alright?" He boomed, modified voice scaring the living daylights out of the doctors and nurses surrounding you. "S-Sir, erm-Commander we think she'll most likely survive with minor s-setback" A doctor answers, inspecting the wound as to not have to face Ren.

He sat down on a chair, further terrifying the staff with his presence. "She'd better," Kylo fumed, prepared to annihilate the staff over anything. He didn't know what made him feel like this, but he was prepared to wait days for you to awake. And wait he did.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It was early morning. You had just woken up, not in the Med Bay, but... in his room. He was already awake, looking at you with those deep brown eyes. You looked around, surveying the surroundings. You were wearing his sleep clothes, all too big on you, hair smelling freshly washed. You had an IV hooked up to your arm, and the stiff bandage across your torso chafed against delicate skin.

"I'm sorry" He uttered, quietly. "I said those things, and I... shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I don't- feel like that about you. I think you're.." He trailed off. He'd never said sorry before. You didn't know how to react.

Looking at him, caring for you in your injury made you frown. "Why do you- why do you care?"

"Here, lay down. Have some soup." He nudged you gently, positioning pillows behind your head. You were so shocked, you almost forgot your previous question. "Wait, but why are you doing this?" You whisper, voice hoarse.

"Because I love you"

#kylo ren fluff #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fic #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x you #kylo ren oneshot #kylo ren angst #kylo ren x reader angst #kylo ren x reader fluff

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oh-for-fic-sake-library · 1 year

Text

A Choice

Masterlist

Summary: kylo struggled with his past, the lies, feelings and heavy burden of being his mothers son. But at the temple he'd found solace, not in the force or his teachings. But you, the young girl with her own struggle in the dark. He fell in love. Time passed, alliances change but his feelings did not. And now he has you captured, but not even he knows what he's going to do with the woman who makes his heart race.

Warnings : swearing, kissing, angst, fluff and general feels, softer kylo?

A/N: the promot for this is: kylo is a soft boi and no one can change my mind. I hope you enjoy my first kylo oneshot 😊🥰

Wordcount: very long, not sorry

Not beta'd

For the first time in a long time he was unsure, at a complete loss on what he should do. You looked back at him aprihensive, fearfull yet he could see the deeper concealed relief and dare he say joy?

Your eyes were wide and expressive, just as they had always been. Skin still glowing its beautiful deep bronze even in the harsh white light above. Your breathing was erratic, switching from shallow panicked breaths and low deep intakes that he knew were used to calm and center yourself.

His eyes roamed you, he felt himself flush slightly thankfully he had his mask still in place. You were no longer a small gangly pre teen but a woman. Supple curves had replaced the lithe muscle youd been youd been honing. Your hands though shackled showed no signs of calluses. And the dress you wore wasnt practical for hard labour, fleeing or fighting. It was clear the rumours were true, you hadn't stayed with skywalker to complete your training. And you certainly hadnt chose a life of a warrior.

Kylo sighed heavily, he didnt know how he felt about your fate. You'd come to train along side him, allbeit not by choice. But you'd still ended up by his side. You'd only really ended up there because you were a potential problem like him. Strong in the force, yet it was rooted in the dark side. The first time youd used the force properly you'd intentionally hurt your father. The fact it was to save your mother from being beaten to death was never acknowledged. As far as everyone was concerned you were a ticking time bomb they needed under control or eliminated.

He remebers you fondly, youd grown together becoming close despite skywalkers attempts to seperate you both. The first time he met you was the day you arrived, a small girl two years younger then him. He was nine when you were dropped off. You were scared and didnt understand why you were seperated from your parents. Skywalker didnt take time to explain things properly. Instead telling you that you were going to be trained and become a jedi. As if you should almost be excited, greatfull even.

Youd cried, pleading with wide tearful eyes to anyone who looked at you to take you home, that you had to go home and protect your mother, that your father was evil and will hurt her. No one paid anymind, thinking you were just a child making excuses to get your way. Untill kylo's own mother came to the school with the news, your father had succeeded. He had murderedyour mother, beating her to death with hks bare hands.

He remebers that day well, the way youd burst into a rage. Screaming at the top of your lungs you told them you were right and you knew he'd hurt her again. He remebers the conflict he felt. Youd been seperated from your mother for only six weeks? If that? That was all it took. Six weeks for your father to kill your mother, and kylo couldnt help but agree with you as you yelled at the two jedi. It was partly Luke and his mothers fault, they hadnt belived you when youd initially told them why youd attacked your father, nor had they bothered to try and investigate it.

Youd even tried to lunge at luke during your initial grief. Kylo had only just caught your tiny wrists tugging you back to himself, curling around you in a half hug, half wrestle. It was then youd broke down, falling to pieces on the spot bawling your eyes out. He'd felt it then the protec5ive rage twistingnin his guts as he tried reassuring you, why couldnt anyone see you were just a kid. A Terrified six year old now completely alone.

You almost looked the same now, scared lost and alone begging silently to just go home. When you were children he'd wanted to return you to your safe haven, even after the death of your mother he wanted to find somewhere you could go, somewhere safe away from the life of a jedi. It wasnt what you wanted, you just gave up after your mothers funera, seeing the coffin had given you a brutal awakening. You had no home to return to.

Yes, he'd wanted to ind somewhere for you to live peacfully away from it all. But now? The thought of releasing you alone into the galaxy left a bitter taste in his mouth. He had lost that benevolence and naive trust in the greater good. Only he could truly offer you safety.

"Sir? Is there a problem? Should we dispose of the rebel and intterogate the rest?;" the tropper began speaking, misunderstanding the supreme leader's stark silence. The unnamed male began making a move closer to you. But Kylo stopped him a single raised hand waving him off, ordering him to stand down.

"No. No i will deal with this myself. Leave us" his voice was low, calm and thoughtful. He couldnt tear his eyes from you, it was hard to belive you were here infront of him. Despite years of hardening himself to his own feelings everything he had thought and felt about you came rushing back. His stomach was twisting in anxious pulls, his heart desperately trying to beat out of his chest.

But you laid still, somehow managing not to fight your bonds that held you to the table. Instead of breaking down into a panic you were looking around the room. He could tell you were struggling to maintain calm as you saw the many tools scattered about the interrogation cell. But you were also counting, lips twitching ever so slightly. It was somthing he had taught you all those years ago, counting when panicked can help you focus. Can keep you alert and in the moment instead of crumbling.

"But sir;"

"Get. Out." with that the trooper left hastily, not wanting to push his superior any further.

When kylo was sure the hall was clear he moved stepping closer to you, hands rising to remove his mask. He paused, should he reveal himself? If he did what was he going to say? Would he be able to hold his nerve? He observed you for a long moment. How should he begin? He didnt want to interrogate you like the others, didnt want to frighten you away, he told himself it was because you could be a valuable asset. But he knew that was an excuse, he didnt want you to run from him, you were probably the only person who understood him.

They said you were an evil child too, muttered about how you were probably going to end up as a sith. That the rage had already settled into you, youd already given in it was just a matter of time. And to some extent they were right to be wary. You and him both sat up at night debating the truth in the force in hushed whispers. Wondering outloud if the dark side was truly dark, or if it was all just subjective. You both didnt see the separation between evil, and evil deeds commited for the light.

Kylo sighed heavily as he tried to weigh up what he should do for the best. He wasnt keen on the idea of interrogating you. But he didnt want to go easy on you and let you go so if you really were a rebel trying to clear your name in some desperate need for acceptance.

In truth he wanted to sooth you, to tell you everything was going to be okay and swear he'd look after you. But again, he was unsure where your loyalties lie at the moment. Afterall you were found with the rebels.

"I know who you are, they told me. Tried to use it to manipulate me" you broke the silence for him, soft spoken and quiet just as he remebered. He held his breath for a moment feeling a wieght lift from his shoulders. You knew. He quickly decided to trust your words. His hands moved slowly riseing to his mask before sliding it off tucking it in the crook of his arm.

"Its been a long time. Your prettier then i thought youd be, its actually really intimidating" You smiled up at him, and moved your trapped hand in a little wave making him scoff at your antics rolling his eyes. Prettier? Of course the first thing youd do it tease him. Stupid brat.

"You havent changed much, you still have no self preservation" he uttered leaning to the side and placing his mask down on one of the trolleys.

"Self preservation? Should i be frightened of you?" You uttered after swallowing dryly, he could see the tears welling in your eyes. Despite the tease you were scared. Scared of him, it made him look away for a second. Fuck. He had to get this over with.

"I dont know should you? Are you hiding something?" He pried sternly whilst bringing his attention back to you, his face set in stone. You frowned at him looking hurt, he just arched a brow still trying to decide if you were going to be a loose end or not. He really hoped not, but a rebel is a rebel and they must be snuffed out. No matter how painful it will be for him.

"No, but you wont belive me untill you look so go head, look. I have nothing to hide" you finally answered shaking your head with the inch of so of movement your bonds allowed you.

"I would rather you tell me yourself. I dont want to hurt you, i will actually help you if you need it. But i need you to tell me everything" he replied a little to quickly for it to be a trap. You frowned for a second, trying to find deceite in his words but there was none. He was being genuine, it made you relax a little drawing a huge comforting breath.

"Can you do that for me?" He coaxed inching closer lightly traceing the side of the examination table with the tips of his fingers. He seemed hesitant. As if he couldnt trust himself to touch you, but the temptation was there.

"Y-yeah, i dont know alot though but i'll tell the truth. I have nothing to hide, itd be useless anyway i know how skilled you are at reading people." You said with minimal shuddering breaths, trying to ease your panic induced shivers and anxiety fueled sobs. Kylos heart jerked painfully. You were terrified of him. But then again he couldnt fault you for that, he was the one whod killed your frineds, burned down the new temple and then fled to the darkside making a name for himself as a brutal warrior. He was now the ruler of a cut throat regime. The feared supreme leader of the first order well on his way to becoming Emperor. And you were at his mercy strapped to a table.

His stomach lurched. He didnt like it, you didnt belong here,not like this; tied down and scared. He hated it, the way you were so defenceless. It disturbed him seeing you in such a vulnerable position.

"How? How did you escape that night?" He hadnt intended for that to be his first question. But he had to know, he needed to know how youd made it out. He had mourned you, the guilt of killing you almost crushed him. He convinced himself you were away, created a delusion, a story in his head as to how you couldnt have possibly been in the temple. He had to tell himself you survived just to sleep at night. And then he heard a rumour, that the resistance knew of a survivor from skywalkers temple, that is was a girl. Your age. Your looks. It had been the first time he had felt true relief in a very long time.

"I was... I'd had another feeling. It was worse then any others, i knew it was bad; something terrible was going to happen and i got scared." You uttered recounting the night everything went to shit and you learned what true evil deeds were. Kylo inched closer, eyes trained on you hanging on everyword. He knew of your ability, empathic foresight, you didnt get visions in your sleep or hear distant whispers in meditation. You got feelings, gut feelings that made you experience emotional reactions of the furture. Youd feel greif before a death, pain before an injury. Fear before a fright. You'd only ever confided this in him scared of what skywalker might have said an done.

"I snuck out of my room to come and check on you, i dont know why but i just... i knew the feeling was about you. It hurt too much. Then i saw him, saw what he" you explained trailing off not needing to state the obvious. You both knew very well what Luke had done.

"After that i ran, i didnt? I wanted to help! To save you but i? How could i? Im sorry! Im so sorry i was so scared... everyone said that we are similar, so when i saw what he did i? I dont know something inside me just told me to run. So i did. I didnt want..I thought he'd done it, that he'd already? And then? I thought that he'd?" your explanation became a sob, fear and guilt pouring from you in harsh waves and half sentences. Kylo's hands clenched as your force came to life, you were almost reliving it. Terror. Confusion, hopelessness, shame he could feel it now as if he were there beside you.

"You thought you were next didnt you? That he was going to murder you after me." He uttered understanding instantly what youd belived. You were young on the cusp of adulthood but still a child, just like he was. And you were both scared, but you had the opportunity to run. He only had a few seconds to defend himself. Had he been quicker he'd have found you outside and would have taken you with him.

"I ran like a coward. I've never forgiven myself" you uttered quietly, your shame rising. Youd always felt as if youd let Ben down. Left him to die, that it was your fault. Tears finally began falling, youd struggled for so long with that. Your freind who youd loved so dearly died because you didnt have the guts to even call out and startle Luke. If youd made a noise, distracted him then maybe ben would have survived. The only thing you thank the resistance for was the fact theyd told you who kylo ren was. It absolved the guilt, freed you from that dark heavy shadow.

He finally rested a hand on you, the leather clad palm squeezing your bicep in a firm reassurance. It drew your attention to him. He held your gaze with a sincere look. Before speaking in a firm, yet calm tone of voice. Leaving no room for argument or doubt.

"No, you ran because you saw a so called jedi try to slaughter a boy in his sleep. You were a scared child who just wanted to survive. Theres no shame in that" his voice was firm. He needed you to understand that there was nothing to be ashamed of. You couldnt help your fear, or your reaction. It had taken him a long time to come to terms with his own fear. To accept it as natural, children are hard wired to run in the face of danger. Run, hide and survive.

"When i heard about what happened afterwards i... i was glad? Is that bad? I wasnt happy with the loss but i hoped it was you, hoped you were alive. But? I thought you were dead, how could you? It was luke skywalker, i didnt think you could survive. It crushed me, i was so happy the temple was gone but then guilty because i didnt stay. If id stayed, helped then maybe we could have survived together" you confessed to him slowly, still confused over your contradicting feelings. You constantly swung back and forth between being happy hearing whispers that ben had gotten out, yet angry that skywalker had pushed ben into the darkside out of fear.

Kylo nodded slowly, he too had wanted to look for you afterwards. At first he belived youd perished in the flames. But as time went on something told him you had escaped. He couldnt put his finger on it, he'd belived he had been going mad. Making pitiful hopless wishes and was trying to convince himself a miracle had happened, and youd escaped his rage.

"Im glad you didnt. Snoke was not tolerant. He'd have pitted us against one another. Years later I heard rumours youd got away, i wanted to find you, i really did. I felt...A responsibility? But in the end i decided against it... snoke would have killed one of us and made it a lesson" kylo barely contained a shudder. He couldnt imagine being put in that position. He didnt know what he would have done, having to choose between his own destiny and the only woman he'd ever considered spending the rest of his life with.

Back at the temple he'd spent many nights pondering the future he could have with you. As sexual maturity settled in he couldnt help feeling more certain in his selection, you were the dream girl, the powerful woman he could rely on. He watched you grow into your abilities and beauty. He wasnt stupid, he knew even though he was a jedi he was expected to continue his blood line so there would be atleast one powerful jedi to play hero and protector of the people for the next generation.

As he grew along side you his mind always invisioned you as that woman, his wife and mother of his child. He had dreams of a small dark haired, olive skinned little boy grinning up at him with your expressive eyes, hands reaching towards him as his own held up a smll toy only to have it force-pulled from his hand by the small boy. There was also a younger child toddling around in the hazy background of the scene. Somehow he just knew the younger cild held the same glowing caramel eyes you had. Sometimes he would hear your giggling from somewhere in the room, other times the scene was mute, not a sound he'd just watch and smile as the two children laughed happily with one another.

But each time he had these dreams a new warmth filled his chest, one not creted by rage and loathing but love. He knew without a doubt the children were his own. It was a dream that comforted him in many cold uncertain nights, it haunted him to this day.

But perhaps it wasnt a dream? Maybe it was a premonition. The force gifting him a vision of the children you would birth him. The family he will have one day. He allways thought it odd that in these dreams you and the chilren were in black robes, bright white surroundings that didnt resemble a house but a ship of somesort. So maybe they were visions of his own future, not just fantasies of a lonley teen with a crush.

This might be his chance to make the dream a reality. It was so close yet so far, the reconciliation he was almost ashamed to adimt he craved. Not that he ever told you that, he uttered nothing of the dreams. But skywalker knew, he was completely against it.

Once kylo left he couldnt help think luke had been against it out of fear, maybe by that point he'd already given up on him. Writing him off as sith already and wanted to avoid an even more powerful generation of dark force wielders. The two of you would have incredibly strong children with ridiculously high midichorian counts. It was possible luke feard the power such a union could unleash.

"I geuss things worked out in a wierd way.." you uttered after a few moments of silence, unaware of how kylo's mind had wandered into old thoughts. Old desires and hopes rearing their heads with vigor and his resolve began building. The excitment and need to keep you by his side growing with every moment he spent next to you.

"I am thankfull for things turning out this way. We are both alive" he spoke methodically, nothing giving away the temptation he felt, the dark tugging him towards you in a new seduction. It was like the force was toying with him, placing you before him once more, helpless and alone. Yet still the same young woman he knew. The funny diplomatic but anxious ridden girl he'd belived he'd lost for so long.

You smiled at his words, though automatic and almost thoughtless they sounded genuine. He sounded sincerely thankful for the both of you to be alive. Slowly you began truly relaxing into the bonds holding you. The more you spoke the more you recognised him. He was still ben, just more; dare you say honest? If that was the right word? Mybe not but you always knew he had this darkness, kylo had always been lurking , pacing back and forth behinde those hazel eyes. Ben had just masked it. Just how youd msked your own demons. You both hid parts of yourself whilst with skywalker. Kylo was the animal inside, raw unbridled power who embraced the force in aggression and victory.

"Why are you with the rebels now?" He asked in a starind voice, the words finally managing to roll off his tongue thick and accusatory. He felt a sickening anticipation his hand absentmindedly rubed his chest trying to ease the tight squeezing of his heart. He was holding his breath agonising over your answer. What if you were with them? What if he had lost you anyway? What does that mean for the two of you then? Would he have to kill you? More importantly could he?

"Im not. Or i was physically there with them but im not apart of the rebel alliance. I dont know what they told you but im not. They said you were hunting me! That you were going to!?" You paused for a moment as the fear inside rekindled. Theyd said he was hunting all force sensitive beings just as vader once had. That he would kill you slowly, torture you into insanity before ending you. They said he thought you had run off to continue your jedi training and that he was furious with you.

Youd had thoughts of him attacking you, with his saber and the force. It was terrifying, youd never out matched him, not in hand to hand combat, the force or deuling. He decimated you each time and those had been just sparring matches where you knew he held back. In a real fight you wouldnt survive two mineuts.

"Calm down, take a breath. Im not going to hurt you, do you here me? Im not going to hurt you, i just want the truth thats all. Just tell me the truth, and everything will be okay. I'm here to listen, id never belive those traitors over you" he instructed slowly squeezing your arm again trying to ease you. To coax you from your panic. You swallowed dryly, feeling a light spark of hope from his words. The fact he still held your words in high regard soothed you somewhat, he still knew you and trusted you to some degree. It was a relief. Tell the truth, you can do that. because honestly you had nothing to hide. And soemthingntold you if he did doubt you he'd take the time to look through your mind before sending you to execution.

"They tracked me down, they were trying to pull me in. They have been trying to recruit me for a while now. They're running low on force sensitive people to throw infront of you. They were willing to overlook my darkside at least untill they find skywalker themselves" you uttered after wetting your lips nervously. You had no loyalty to the resistance or skywalker. You werent involved anymore, this wasnt your fight and youd have no part in it.

You tipped your head to face kylo, a smll smile grazing your lips taking another moment or so to truly drink in the sifpght. He really had become handsome. Taller then youd expected, broader to, he was stunning. Nd the scar across his face would have marred anyones elses beauty but it... suited him, his character it gave him a visual to the rugged edge he'd always hidden. He looked dangerousnd magnificent. Your eyes flicked away frim his before he could see your flushed cheeks. Now was not the ti,e to start fawning over him. He had questions and you had the answers. Everything else can wait.

"I even debated joining just to kill him myself. But when they told me you were kylo i? I didnt want to become your enemy" you added shrugging a little before pausing hesitating on your lst statment. It was true though, you had no quarrel with the first order. Sure it was a little daunting to see another empire try to rise. But didnt that just men without the jedi this is the normal. Empires rising and falling in the external fight for dominance. There will always be someone who thinks they can do a better job ruleing. That they deserve a chance, and if need be they will take the top spot by force. Surely its better to just stick with the devil you know?

"They couldnt understand that. And still pushed, chaseing me across systems! This time they had me truley cornered, trying to scare me, telling me that the first order were after me because im a threat; that you were hunting me, wanted me dead they said they heard it in a transmission" your words grew more panicked, more weary and your chest tightened once more as the adrenaline flooded your veins. You felt more vulnerable and uncertain by the second.

Kylo growled low in his throat, rumbling in his large chest echoing off the walls as if they'd been struck. The force arou d him quivered as he began a descent into anger once more.

"So they are trying to scare you into their ranks?. Pathetic" his lip curled into a violent snarl. His hands clenching, jaw locking for a moment, teeth grinding. To think theyd try to manipulate you to brazenly. Lie to your face and threaten you with him, his fury.

You whimpered, pressing back in to the table shivering, quaking in fear so violently that he heard it, physically heard your body shuddering against to cold metal. Your eyes were closed, biting your lip willing yourself to disappear. He relaxed. The force, shit. He forgot, you were force sensitive and his rage would affect you more then others. To you it would prickly, pinch and grate on your very skin like bladed sandpaper. Cut and scrape.

"I was not looking for you, or hunting you. I toyed with the idea but you hadnt been spotted in the rebellion i? I assumed you were content being away from it all" he acquiesced, mamanging 5o control himself and dial back his rage. Instead he inched closer cupping one of your cheeks urgingnyou to look at him.

You hissed, drew a deep sharp breath cringing waiting for... something? Anything! But instead he held still, letting his palm warm your skin through his glove. You peaked up at him tentativly. He gave a small half smile, one of reassurance yet also questioning you, asking you to trust him.

"i dont want you dead, i never have and never will. Your no threat to me, you never posed yourself as a threat. So i wouldnt treat you as one. It seems noone truely understands how much we care for and trust one another" he spoke barely a whisper, as his hand smoothed over your cheek. You nuzzled into him delicatly blinking slowly, enjoying the contact. It was, nice. To feel someone, to feel him again. Youd take anything you could, any gentle touch or soft glimpse of ben you could get.

It didnt last, he pulled back removing himself from you as he spome once more, tryingt to go back to business. But that didnt ,atter, he had show you a few seconds of almost loveing kindness and that was enough for you.

"Everything they told you is a lie, a desperate attempt on the rebels part trying to recruit all the force sensitive people they can find, even ones that werent good enough to be trained" he stated firmly, dropping his hands behinde him taking on a powerful stance, hos chest swelling slightly, arms bulging in the robes he wore, tugging on the seams slightly showing off his physique.

"They were... persistent i have been evading them for years but? When they found me this time... something was different. It was odd they were trying to make me hate you, trying to scare me saying you betrayed them. They hinted at me useing my darkness, suppose they want to try fighting fire with fire" you continued slowly trying to put everything into words was hard. Because honestly there was so many emotions and caveats that you had to think through and label. So much trauma and fear, pain, regret to force yourself through to explain the situation. All while staying truthful and making your point.

"They dont know you saw the whole thing?" He asked with a frown, surely they knew what had happened for you to survive, or have an inkling? Unless they belived he loved you so had spared you and if so they were truley cruel to try and use you against him.

"No, no one seemed to know the whole story. And those that do? Well your the first person ive told. And I was small, if you recall not even you could find me when i skipped my lessons" you finished with a small chuckle. He rolled his eyes before tipping his head to the side agreeing with a half shrug and laughed.

"You were always tricky to locate, your ability to shield your life force was something i admired and loathed" It was true, you managed to get away with alot because you could effectivly disappear from the force at will. It made keeping up with your shenanigans hard.

"Yes well it didnt do me any good hiding from the rebles alliance did it? They have eyes everywhere kylo." You sighed trying not to let the weight of your failure show, it was hard though. Youd literally wanted to achieve one thing. One tiny thing and that was to be left alone, dissappear into the galaxy. Kylo frowned drawing a deep breath, not only the confirmation that the rebles did indeed have connectiones in everycorner of the galaxy, but he could also see that being found had got to you. You werent playing or trying to hide behind false pretenses. You were genuinely upset, anxious and flighty. you were never one to accept your failures well and he could see being found was frustrating. It hurt him, tore into his tightening chest, what if you didnt want to see him? Or worse, what if you didnt want to stay?

"You really arent with them are you?" He uttered, more of a self realisation then anything else. He watched spinning slightly to rest his hip against the table you were on. He expected you to flinch, to tug at the bonds or yelp trying to pull away from him. Instead you gravitated towards him, tilting your body in his dorection subtley, seeking him out for some comfort. Though he didnt get time to comment or even smile at the small subconscious movement. Instead you began speaking, blinking up at him with tearfully hopeful eyes.

"No, im not and i never will be, this isnt my fight. It never was, i never wanted training or? or stupid force abilities; Why would i fight for the jedi; or even your mother? when they only want me to kill for them. Return me to skywalker to finish training just to taint myself by killing you?" You paused trying to shake the anger frommyou. It was hard though, looking back now everything was a manipulation. You were training to be a weapon of 'peace'. Nothing more, nothing less.

"No way. Absolutely not, he took so much away from me, it was like i was an animal to them. Nothing but an evil child meant to become a tool to use. But unfortunately they wont take no for an answer" you admonished, your words drifting from sincerity to frustration, irritation and finally resignation. He could not only hear it but feel it, it would seem you have relaxed enough to let him sense you. Feel you for the first time since he'd left.

It was euphoric, like coming home in a sense. The same airy feeling. Thealmost dry smokey whistful and warm feeling you always gave him. Yet it was clouded, fear, almost frantic paranoia. Frustration and panic. Turmoil. But most of all you felt tired.

Exhausted, from the years of hiding and running. Fighting and hideing the force, blocking it out. Compressing the raw power inside of you into a tiny space hidden in your mind. Keeping the all powerful force of life itself under lock and key. Surpressing everything youd come to know and accept all while running for your life.

"i didnt think youd try to fight for them, or against me. Or i had hoped not" he offered meekly with a shrug, glancing at you offering a slight tilt to his lips.

"I dont want to fight anyone, but they are adamant i do just that. Apparently i have no choice i have to choose because i was trained"

"So if i asked you to fight for me? For the first order?" He asked unable to deny himself the chance to hear you. He wanted you to be heard, to be given the chance to speak and be given a choice. If frightened him, he didnt know what he would do if you denied him everything. But he was determined to try and keep himself in check and abode your wishes.

"i just want to live. Its all i've ever wanted to do Kylo" you whispered. Kylo hummed and nodded with a tight smile, it wasnt a no. But it wasnt exactly a yes eigther. There was no guarantees youd stay beside him, but he couldnt help feeling at ease with your answer.

"I understand" 'I did too' kylo finished the thought with a heavy sigh. He truley did understand, he wanted nothing more then to live out his life. Not be manipulated or judged for things he couldnt control. The only difference between the two of you was that he found snoke and fed his hatred letting it become his power, he'd wandered deeper into the force and his darkness. And youd dinstanced yourself from the force and hid away.

"You know they wont leave you alone untill you make a choice. Until then youll never get any peace you were a skywalker pupil they wont let that go. Youll never be free" he uttered with a sigh, hewas so ewhat greatfull to the resistance for leading him to you. But also felt a gnawing bitter anger, they had been trying to ue youjust as snoke had used him. He was no fool, he knew very well how much he'd been taken advantage of. He told himself being aware of it made it better somehow? Less humiliating? Yet he broke free of it in the end. Just as his servitude was ending, yours was trying to begin.

He was proud of you in a sense, the way you flatly refused to be a pawn. In a way you refused what he could not. Only his keeper was snoke and yohrs would have been his own mother. Yet even through all of this anger, pride and shame he couldnt help feel an overwhelming pity for you. Because as he said, youdnever be free of them, the resistance. The jedi they were parasites, latching onto anything that will ensure their own survival with little thought to those they damage and destroy along the way. All that mattered was their own ambition and goals. Youd be forever running from them.

"Well not while im here anyway." You chuckled motioning to the way you were strapped to the table with an uncomfortable grin. Kylo cursed and quickly flicked his fingers up, releasing your bonds before helping you sit up. You thanked him rubbing your wrists gently trying to stop the pins and needles from stinging your finger tips.

"You could be" kylo uttered an barely a whisper. Almost as if he didnt want you to hear him. You paused flicking your gaze to him confusion twisting across your face.

"Could be what?" Kylo swallowed as your eyes locked with his, he looked uncertain and small just as your words had been. You were vulnerable in a way he loathed, youd forgotten yourself, your power your drive. It was gone, and it made his heart clench painfully and his blood boil in his veins. He wanted you more and more as it became clear youd done nothing but hide and cower. Spent your years running from the first order, the war and resistance. Desperately looking for somewhere wanting nothing more then to forget about your past.

"Free here. You could be free here, with me. The rebels wouldnt dare set foot here and youd be protected. I would protect you" he emphasised stepping closer, his thighs touching your knees. And then his huge hands found yours. Twisting them in his grasp gently thumbs rubbing your reddened wrists trying to sooth them. Your gaze locked on to his face, trying to read his expression. But he dipped his hed down, his hair hanging down sheilding his face, keeping his secrets.

"Your-your offering me freedom? In the first order? I doubt the rebels would take that well, they'd say I was kidnapped or something stupid." Your voice waivered before laughing humourlessly, shaking your head scoffing at him thinking it was just wishful thinking. Theres no way kylo would offer you a home here in the first order. No matter the history or fondness between you. You were an ex-jedi student of skywalkers temple and found with a huge group of resistance fighters in a makeshift military base. The first order thought you were a traitor to them or something.

"Not if your decision was made public. If we made sure you were seen" kylo offered without a moments hesitation, his head riseing once more. Gifting you a single glance before his eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but you as he tried finding the confidence to say what he really meant.

He felt like a teenager again, desperately wracking his brain trying to find those magic words that would turn his dream into a reality. That'd give him his own happily ever after innthis clusterfuck of a situation.

"You want me to stand beside you when you raid bases and ships like some propergander prop? Let them see that skywalker created not one but two;" your frustrated words were cut off by him shaking his head at you. Growling leaning forward pressing his way between your knees standing firmly before you. His hands trailing up your arms, resting just below your elbows in a strangely distant yet intimate hold. Panic threatened to wash over him for the first time in years.

"No! Of course not! Nothing like that. And thats not to say i think your weak either. I know how powerfull you were, the potential you have. And even though youd become a great asset to me as a soilder or posterchild i wont use you like them, i am better then that" he grunted, his voice somwhere between offended and saddened. His anger flared momentarily, did you truly think he'd be just as dishonest as the rebles? As skywalker and his mother? That he'd use you and cast you out when he was done? It hurt, gutted him to belive you thought so little of him. He knew he had changed but even he like to think he had some integrity left.

"But thats not to say I'd refuse to train you if you wish, help you master the darkside, not fear and loath it." His words wavered as he saw the face you made, the twisting of a frown and the feeling of distaste curling around you like a potent perfume infecting him, becoming trapped in his throat with all of the words he wished he could say outloud.

"Or not, you can stay here with me as a confidant; a friend. Someone i can actually trust" he uttered shrugging, removing one hand from you raiseing it up in a surrendering motion as he began ratteling off another option. That sounded as if there was alot more thought put into it then he was willing to admit.

"Or if you want to take a place beside me. Not as a soilder but perhaps as more... As empress? I'd- i mean to say that... The position is open to you, if you wish. All you have to do is say and.. i would" he stuttered slightly, his grip on your arm loosening as he focused on his own hands grasping you nervously. Running his thumbs across the soft skin of your inner arm gently. He was anxiously waiting your reaction. He may have voiced his thoughts prematurely but? He wasnt going to take it back. He liked you. No. He loved you, you were the only person in his life that hadn't used or manipulated him. You accepted him dark and all.

"Empress? Your empress? Are you? Are you serious? What? Wheres that come from?" You fought the words, wresteling them out through hitched breaths and shock. Your stomach flipped, filling with butterflies and your cheeks burst into a bright blush. Mind instantly latching onto the idea.

You couldnt help it, the sweet gentle intimacy only brought back the feelings youd thought had died. Feelings that had been dangerous, forbidden. And yet here and now they weren't. You werent jedi, and neither was he. You were free. Free to give and take in a selfish love. Free to claim what your heart desired and protect it feircely. Not only that but its what was being offered, freely without remorse or fear or the need to hide. It was too good to be true, theres no way there wasnt a hidden catch. If there one thing you learned is the force doesnt work in mysterious ways, it was exchange. What it gives it can and will take without a moments notice and theres nothign you could do about it. Everything had a price, and to offer this up so carelessly meant the price will be dire.

"I have always liked; no thats to say? You are the only woman i've ever loved. I love you even now" He uttered suddenly, unable to catch himself. He paused when you gasped audibly hands rising to your mouth, covering the shock. He? He didnt just? Did he? He couldnt possibly have just admitted something like that so thoughtlessly. So casually, as if his words wouldnt possibly alter both of your lives.

You shook your head subtly, tears pricking your eyes. It was too much to hope for. Love. It was a fools errand, forbidden, taboo unachievable for your kind. Jedi cant escape their teachings even when they leave the orders and temples.

Kylo grasped your quivering hand pulling it from your mouth before drawing it to his own. Pressing the back of it to his lips, eyes closing as his kiss lingered. Drawing in a deep breath theough his nose andmheld still. Enjoying what could very well be the last tender moment he would ever get with you. A moment he will cherish.

You sniffled leaning forward pressing your head to his chest your other hand riseing to capture the cloak at his waist. He hummed tucking the hand at his lips into his own once more holding it to his chest delicatly. And you both stayed like that for some time reveling in the silence, just enjoying the comfort youd both longed for.

"I have always loved you" he uttered breaking the silence, taking the chance to wrap himself around you, his arms moving to hold you, drawing you closer to him, pressing you to his chest.

"Your beautiful, funny easy to be around and? You have never lied to me or tried to sway my decisions. Not once, you are grown now beautiful, articulate everythingni thought youd be. The first order needs someone to admire, a crown jewel so to speak" his words seemed light, yet sincere. Almost hopefull.

You closed your eyes whining under your breath pressing into him harder. Your hand squeezing his cloak dragging him closer. It was more then you could dream. He inched closer hands finally capturing you, arms wrapping around you pulling you flush against him dippingnhis head down to rest on yours. You responded instantly curling your own arms around his torso. Holding on tightly afraid this was ll just some fucked up hallucination thats goingnto be ripped away. That the force will tear him from you again.

"I need you. Need something; someone to fight for. All this time I've been fighting for power. Rage and hate fueling my every move. But i dont want that. I honestly dont, i want to be more then what became of vader. More then another power hungry sith or evil dictator. I want to end not just the jedi but the sith aswell. Just like we talked about. Nothing but the force itself" His explained softly, tracing light patterns across you with his fingers, flexing his rms to hold you even tighter, press you closer. You both clung to one another as if your lives depended on it. Yet there was no rush, not anxieties just the twoof you finally accepting each other as more then comrades or friends.

"I want you by my side, but i only want you to stay if thats what you want." His words waivered slightly, your ongoing silence becoming deafening.

"It would keep the rebels away if they saw you made such a decision and you were happy and i believe i could make you happy, that we could make each other happy." You hummed listening carefully. Still loosing yourself in the feeling of being so close to him. So wrapped up in his tender hold, your life forces drifting around one another as if trying to re-establish itself. Trying to find the comfortable sweet spot that would revive your bond.

"We could build something remarkable together. You and I, we could prove everyone wrong. And this isnt some sudden realisation. I have always had a strong attachment to you. Always loved you. I just didnt understand it before" the reasons continued to pour from him almost desperately. He could help it, he felt as if it was now or never. That he had to make a convincing argument to keep you by his side.

You sighed and pulled back from him reluctantly slowly dragging your hands across his ribs as you did so. He frowned, eyes searching yours, he made to grasp at you again but you intercepted raising your own hands to meet his, delicatly placing your palms to his weaving your fingers between his own.

"D-do you really mean it? That... that you love me?" You spome in a hushed secretive tone. As though testing him, testing yourself unsure if you could trust youd heard him correctly. But perhaps it was also becuase you needed the clarification, reassurance that he had admitted to something so significant, so utterly life changing.

"Yes, it was one of the many things skywalker berated me for. It was forbidden, you were forbidden. It was why i distanced myself from you in the weeks before, i was trying so hard to fight it" he gave a tight smile, it had been hard to abstain from you. To pull back and desert you as he tried desperately to be a good jedi. To follow the hypocriticall code.

When it was brought down into its most basic components the jedis code was to protect and love everyone as a whole but never become selfish enough to love and protect individuals. The greed of such selfish adoration will breed possessiveness; the refusal to give up the one you loved. This then gave way to worry, paranoia. And from there you fall to fear; the fear of loss. Settle into loathing and hate. Finally suffering; suffer the loss of your love, suffer the greif and regret when you lose all that you held most dear. That was the decent into the darkside. The journy most sith fell prey to. And it all started with forbidden love.

Kylo was pulled from his thoughts as your voice cracked, weak words tumbling from you as you revealed he was not alone in being caught out by his uncle. You too had been warned many times about your feelings towards ben.

"He got at me about it too. I love you too. He scolded me many times, even hinting at me to leave if i couldnt control it" and just like that the daydream was gone, the proverbial spell broken and it felt as if the whole world came crashing down upon you. Just like before, only this time it wasnt codes, oaths and the fear of beong caught that was stopping you from pursuing him. No, it was worse. Status, titles and public opinion.

No. this was? It cant work! Hexs the leader of the first order, a jedi killer. And you were effectivly an apostate. An ex jedi that the rebels were desperately trying to recruit. You were found with them! Brought in as a prisoner and cuffed inside an interrogation cell. Itd ruin his credibility, if he were seen with you.

Kylos heart seized as he heard the thoughts loud and clear. You were projecting in your panic. In the sorrow and anxious devastation. No. No! He wont allow it. He wont let you deny yourself happiness, he wont let you deny him now he knows the truth.

"No. No dont? Dont say that we can. We can be together we can. I can make it happen. Im the supremeleader anything i say goes. I can; we can build our own future together" kylo hissed, shaking his head sharply squeezing your hands as you tried detaching yourself from him.

"But kylo...What would the first order say? Surley they would have issues with me; an ex jedi caught with a batallion of rebel's suddenly beside you exachanging vows" kylos reply silenced you. It was a snarl, a deep frustrated growl echojngnin his chest sending shivers down your spine. Goosebumps rose on your skin, your tummy fluttered. There was something about his reaction, about knowing he would argue, that he'd fight for you. It made you feel relieved and anxious all at once. Youd never had anyone fight for you before, you normally had to do that all by yourself.

"Im their supreme leader. Theres not much i connot take care of. I would create a story of half truths. Paint you as my lover, my secret fiancé who i hid away from everyone for her own protection; that i feared snokes reaction if he ever knew" his words soothed you so ewhat, and he could tell. You relaxed, listening to him intently. It made sense sort of?

"Id say youd been hunted by the rebels because of who you were to me. Explain that the whole operation was to rescue you, that the rebels got to you before i could come and collect you once id killed snoke. And the raid was just me bringing you home.

"But i was brought here in cuffs? That trooper knows im here, in an interrogation cell it cant? I wont be your down fall;"

"It was a ruse for your safety!" Kylo finally snapped at you, his desperation to keep you becoming irritation. Why didnt you trust him? Why did you doubt he could fix it, handle everything and take care of you. He loved you, you loved him that should be enough shouldnt it?

He drew a deep breath befpre cupping the sides of your face lightly. Your eyes closed and you gave into his touch. Enjoying the warmth on your cheeks as his hands held you. You pressed into the soft leather of his gloves silently wishing he'd taken them off. You didnt want barriers between you, you wanted him, just him. His skin, his affection his love everything!

"Everyone knows anything could happen when it comes to those... vermin. I had you cuffed and brought here as a precaution. They could have done anything to you my love, warped your mind, pumped you full of toxins to insight hallucinations looking for information about me, us the first order?" His story unfolded around you, creating the perfect romantic tragedy. Rewriting the script of your romance as if he'd already finished a manuscript. You almost forgot how quick he was thinking on his feet, conjuring stories and reasons with ease.

"I had to do it this way, incase they belived youd turned on me. You could have played the part of a deserter to survive. But now, once ive had time to read you, to peer into your mind i know you hadnt betrayed us. You managed to fend off their cruel games and twisted words" he continued his reasoning, useing logic to create the perfect reunion for the two of you. Setting the stage for you to both love one another freely.

"And you came home, stronger than ever. Ready to take your rightfull place. And the rebels would feel Iied to by their general, of course she had to have known who her sons fiance was, we did grow up together. Theyd lose morale. And we'd gain it. And id finally have you all to myself. With no shame, or fear. Just us together as it should have always been" his rant came to a slow sweet end. Making you smile, grinning shyly up at him. You liked the sound of that, being with him like regular people. Normal lovers able to enjoy one another.

"But most importantly be safe and loved for the rest of your days. We could have everything we were denied, we could be together. Truley be together, do you hear me?" His hands shifted, dragging over your ears, further and further back untill his fingers stretched out i to your hair lightly massaging your scalp. And then he moved nuzzling into you, breathing deep trying to drown himself innyour scent. It was just as he remebered, light spice that seemed to cling to you from your love of the exotic, coupled with a slight sweet honeyed scent that came from every scented soap, shampoo and conditioner. And then the overall delicate scent that was your own. It was the smell of home. The scent that haunted him just as much as his dreams. He'd missed it. Your eyes fluttered closed, melting into him natheing in the long lost warmth of a kind embrace.

"We can do it. Together me and you, nothing will stop us. Nothing will ever come between us my love, please dont... dont turn away, dont leave me. I love you. I still love you and i promise you; swear to you that i wil, protect you. Protect us... there can be an us now. We will never hide, or shy away from each other again" his word grew almost frantic, pleading even. You pressed into him tighter tlitling your head tryingnto tuck yourself into him properly and rest against his chest. But he paused, stopping you carefully before tipping your head up promtpingnyou to look at him, locking eyes again.

"Please give us a chance? Give the first order a chance. You wont regret it. You wont" you tentativly moved to cup his own cheek tilting your head to the side taking in the sight of him. So vulnerable and raw. Sincere and sweet? Hopefull. You couldnt deny him. You knew it deep down, there was no way you could abandon him. Not when youd both finally revealed your true feelings. Not when he already had all the answers, all the excuses and plans. But that didnt mean you werent going to ask what was expected of you.

"What would i have to do? As empress i mean? I dont want to... i wont have to fight? Or officially join the darkside and become sith? Will i?" Kylo froze his entire body shuddered. Did that mean? Were you really going to stay?! He grinned unable to stop the giddy laugh from bubbling in his throat. It was more then he could imagine. The rush of happiness, anticipation. But quickly shook his head before speakign answering all of your fears and doubts wanting to nip them in the butt before you could dwell on them and overthink.

"No, not at all. Not for a second i wouldnt force you my love. Like i said the choice is yours, it will always be yours. Whether you become my apprentice, empress or stay as a freind i will protect you from skywalker and the rebels. You never have to fear them or look over your shoulder again" he uttered dragging his hands over yu, lower, curling around your waist resting in the curve of your back.

"That is if you stay.You-you are always free to walk away now. It would be painful to watch you go, but i would let you. Id have you escorted to where ever you want to go" his promise came with a fearfull swallow. But he wanted to make sure you understood, that you knew you had the choice. That you truly had a choice and he'd respect your wishes.

"Though id much rather have you here with me, beside me. I belive we were meant to find one another again. I really do. I dont want to let you go. I just want you to be safe, to have the saftey and security of a home. Something that had been ripped from us as children."

"Kylo;" you tried halting his rambling, the anxious words that escaped him as his thoughts ran rabid, second guessing his own offer. Would you think he was trying to takl you out of it? Trying to chase you away? Fuck. Fuck what if he misspoke or pushed to hard?

You could see the wild panic, the odd nauseating fear that spiked from him, making the force tremble around the both of you restlessly. But you couldnt manage to get a word in as he began falling into another half anxious monologue of explanations and reasoning.

"You know what it feels like to be manipulated and have your life mapped out for you. We had many decisions made for us, too many options taken from us and we both paid for them with blood and fear. We know how cruel family is. You deserved better. You deserved a choice" he finalised with conviction. He made to open his ,outh once more but you hushed him, a single palm covering his mouth, managing to stop another round of persuasion from the large sweet man.

"We both did... And maybe we can make things better together? We can make a real family, a home and right a few wrongs? Be ourselves without shame or remorse together. One united front? Us against the galaxy?" Your hand slowly drifted to his hair as you spoke, making your decision. Your fingers danced in the thick ebony locks. You smiled when he couldnt refrain from nuzzling into you once more. He really wasnt the big scary man he tried to be. Just a huge loth cat.

"What? You mean? Youll stay with me? As my empress? Youll really stay?" Your heart broke at the tiny disbelieving voice, so unlike him. Yet exactly what youd expect from the old ben. The one who felt so much weight, so much responsibility with little love for himself. Back then he was so uncertain, so frightend to chase after what he wanted because he felt denying himself made him strong.

"Id be honoured kylo. I can think of nothing id like more than to spend my life with you, if youll have me?" You anounced, dragging his face closer your own unable to stop the fluttering in your tummy, or the way your face flushed, and the excited giddiness overwhelming you.

He wrapped himself around you, nose touching your own eye flicking from your own gaze down to your lips, the temptation to press his own against yours and devour you. Lock you into a kiss that had been long overdue.

"Of course, fuck yes i mean i? I want you by my side. I love you" he whispered, not wantingnto break the spell. The euphoric haze that seemed to isolate the two of you from the rest of the galaxy in this moment.he couldnt, wouldnt jeopardise this one peacfull moment you had together. The moment youd both been praying for since your early teens.

"I love you too. Theres just one thing i ask from you?" You breathed out, grazing his nose with the lightest of touches. Barely hanging on to the thread of control you somehow maintained.

"Name it, its yours" his voice dipped low. No thoughts just feeling. Pure joy and eager acceptance. He didnt care what it was you wanted. Youd have it, he'd grant you anything even the impossible. He'd find a way to give you the univers in its entirety if you asked.

"Dont lie to me. Even if the truth hurts, even if its dangerous or frightening. Dont hide things behinde half truths and lies. We have both had enough of that for a life time" you could see his eyes soften the aprihension that your qeustion had caused quickly disappeared. He seemed saddened almost, humbled. Your unsure what it was he expected you to ask, but apparently it wasnt honesty.

"You have my word my love. I swear i will never lie to you, never. I trust you to know everything, youll always know as much as i do" in that moment he swore to you and himself. Made it an oath, his own code to live by.

You sighed fully relaxing into him before coilingnyour arms around his neck tugging him down closer and began rising you your tip toes. He didnt need to think, about his next move. His lips met yours in a gentle kiss. The first light pressing on your lips together soon gve way to soemthing heated, years of repressed emotions and desire. Before you realised what was happeneing you were scooped up in hos arms. Legs locking around his waist your kiss now coupled with hands tugging you against him, rocking you against him in a delicious grinding that only spurred the both of you on.

Your kisses quickly became desperate a flurry of nips, kisses and the lapping of his tongue. The constant pressure of his tongue finally pried your own mouth open. He wasted no time in pressing on, fucking into your mouth with his tongue growling as your own fought his, twisting around his own in a decadent battle. His fingers tightened on your ass, digging into the flesh before thrusting his hips against yours. You gasped, tongue faltering in its own assault, he used the mone tto delve deeper, dominating you claiming victory over your playful defiance. Not that you minded, not in the slightest. You moaning when he began tracing the roof of your mouth lightly, a tickling pleasant feeling making you whine, shuddering and arching into his hold.

"Supreme leader i;" you yepled as the modulated voice of a trooper called out only to stop mid sentence as he realised what he'd just walked in on.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Kylos shout was accompanied with a blast of the force towards the unsuspecting trooper. Not that he needed prompting, at the forst yelled words he'd already turned trying to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Only managing a few feet untill he connected with the opposite wall on the hall. The force following closely slamming his helmet clade head even harder into the wall. And then he dropped into a heap of white armour on the floor.

"Oh god; that poor bastard. Is he gonna be okay?" You uttered flushing, giggleing somewhat nervously as there were foot steps in the distance out in the hall growing fainter. Apparently there'd been an audience.

"If he stays down he will be" kylo huffed petulantly. It would have been cute had it not been for the look of murder in his wpeyes, violence on his mind. You sighed before pecking him once more, trapping him in a barrage of sweet kisses between words.

"Kylo. Leave him be... i wasnt going to fuck you here anyway, theres cameras" his eyes flicked to the small cctv cameras in the corner. You had a point. He sighed slowly letting you stand befpre him once more and reached out to retrieve his mask, which you promptly toom from him, holding it carefully. You didnt want him to disappear behinde it just yet. He gave you a look, only to shake his head at you as you subtly twisted the carbon mask from him stubbornly. He chuckled realiseing quickly you wanted to keep looking at him.

"Right~ Come, let's get you home;" he faltered as you stepped up beside him eagerly. It was odd, having someone wanting to be so close to him. He? Liked it. But only if it was you, everyone else better keep their fucking distance... especially if you were there.

"Lead the way" you grinned cutely up at him. It was enough to stop him in his tracks. This was it, his future; your future. It all starts now, starts here. And force be damned he could barely contain the excitement. You were his, and he was yours, and nothing would ever interfere again. For the first time in years, he felt that all powerful hope the rebellion raged on about. And honestly? He could understand it. This was a new, powerful feeling. He felt like he could achieve the impossible. And he would. There was no doubt in his mind now. You'd both succeed where others failed because you had one another.

#oh for fic sake fics #star wars kylo ren #kylo x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fic #kylo ren x reader #star wars #ben solo #ben solo x reader #supreme leader kylo ren

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beskarinhyperspace · 11 months

Text

A Ripple In Space

Silly girl, I need you alive..

More Chapters | Masterlist

1. More Air

*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*

wc.3.4k

You have been kidnaped and brought on the finalizer where you meet the famous Kylo Ren. The one who brought so much fear and destruction to the galaxy. Not being able to know the truth about your identity, he keeps you imprisoned on his ship.

[Kylo Ren x femReader]

*Canon Divergence, slow burn, softdom, hurt/comfort

**Kylo is supreme leader, Rey? we don't know her..

Tags; slow burn, fluff, eventual smut, angst, comfort, touch starved kylo, fools in love, shy/insecure kylo, he needs a hug, feelings, top kylo ren, reader insert, no y/n, female reader, pet names.

+ Italics are thoughts. +

The night was cold, like all the previous ones you've had since you embarked on the finalizer. It was by far, the biggest ship you've seen from all your years fighting against the first order. You just wish you could explore it, especially since you’re trapped in a cell right now. All this big and spacious spaceship and you're stuck in this shoebox. You were sitting on the bed with your back against the wall when you hear a voice coming from across the room. “Hey, get up..” and you do, walking towards the door. Gawking at the sight of the two stormtroopers waiting for you. One of them unclips a pair of handcuffs off his tool belt. Which makes you roll your eyes to the sight of them. Sighing as you present your wrists so they can put it on you. Wondering where they were taking you this time. You never knew what leaving the cell had in store for you. Maybe today was finally the day you get to walk out free or worst, killed. As you begin to walk, your feet felt heavy navigating the corridors as you follow their fast pace. You didn’t get the chance of coming out of your cell very often, so you didn't really know what to expect on this ship. Especially since you've been here for months and nothing major has happened yet. It doesn't help that no one is giving you any information. Only getting the essentials. Food, water and a shower here and there. You see the soldier on your left pressing a button on his arm. Feeling a bit nervous arriving in front of a massive double door entrance, parting as you were approaching it.

The room was echoing, windows were covering the walls almost in its entirety. You were able to see ships arriving and departing the docking station from the other side of the vessel. The room was dark and mostly empty. There was a sofa back to the wall near the door and a desk with only two seats in front of it. Walking closer to the desk, you see a tall man standing near it. Staring outside the window facing the view in front of him.

The man was broad and intimidating. Everything he was wearing was black and made of leather except for his cape who seemed to be made of wool. As you are approaching, he turns around slowly. Immediately you noticing the mask covering the man's face. You try to swallow your nervousness, but it’s getting stuck in your throat. It’s him..

“The one you asked for, sir.” one of the soldiers say.

The stoic man simply nods to the troopers who are now walking away. Your hands were getting wetter as they left, leaving you alone in this grand, dark and empty room with him. He remained silent as he walks towards you. Looking at you up and down. You felt scared, but mostly uncomfortable by his awkward gaze. “Why am I here?” you finally ask, no longer able to keep the tension going.

He tilts his head, “why do you think you’re here?” speaking through his modulator in a calm yet playful way.

“I don’t know you tell me.” Slowly getting impatient. You were on edge by the lack of clues you're getting in this hell hole.

He takes a hand, coming closer to your face and closed his eyes as he starts to focus. What is he doing? He's freaking you out. Suddenly you feel it tingling. A vibration trying to push itself into your mind. What is this? You hold as much as you can. Is he the one doing this? After a moment, realizing that he can't get inside your head. He looked surprised, almost shocked but he can't let you know that. “I know what you are and what you do. I know everything there is to know about you.” he claims firmly.

Your eyes rounds up to his words. If he knows, you need to warn the others. So many lives could be at risk. You need to play dumb, say something.. “I think you have the wrong person here sir. I don't even know what you're after.” You reply trying really hard not to cough as you feel the anxiety coming back to your throat.

In a quick movement, he throws his arm up, extending it in your direction. You begin to feel a weird sensation passing on your stomach before it slowly moves to your chest. The warm yet soft touch, crawls upward to envelop your throat. You can feel it tightened as you’re being dragged across the floor. Having no control over your body whatsoever before it brings you right in front of him. Floating mid-air, feet slightly above ground. The invisible force around your neck was preventing you from breathing. Feeling your chest compressing as you try to reach out for air. He holds his hand firmly in your direction before he starts to walk towards you. “Do you take me for a fool?” voice laced with anger. You couldn't place a single word even if you wanted to. Your face was becoming redder by the second from the lack of oxygen in your lungs. On another hand, the supreme leader seemed to be enjoying watching you suffer at his mercy. “You and your little friends won’t be the end of me. Mark my words, I will kill them, I will kill them all!” He yells out to you. His voice-corder cracking to the intensity of his outburst. You were still struggling to breathe. Panicking as you were trying to remove the invisible hand wrapped around your throat.

Noticing that your breathing is slowly slowing down. He lets go of his grip as he's watching you fall to your hands and knees. No longer in the air, you were desperately searching for your breath. Feeling your throat dry and in pain, you cough a couple of times before speaking. “Sir, no one wants to come at you..”

“What are you talking about?” He asks confused.

You look at him from below, taking a deep breath before pulling yourself back up on your feet. “I’m saying that everybody is scared of you, why would anyone try to come directly at you..” saying to him as if it wasn't obvious.

Which pissed him off more, “That’s not what my sources have told me. If you want to get out of here alive, I suggest you change your attitude.” Now moving closer to you. He gently pushes a fallen strand of hair framing your face, back. You can hear the static of his modulator as he whispers softly into your ear, “It would be such a shame to kill such a pretty girl, but I wouldn’t hesitate..”

You felt incredibly small and powerless as you try to control your shaking body. Why do you suddenly feel so hot? It's not like you knew what he looked like underneath his mask. Maybe he was ugly, could you imagine feeling this kind of way about a super old crispy man. Chills were rising up your back. While you were anxiously trying to recenter yourself, all you could hear were his muted modulated chuckles. “That’s enough for today.” he says, pressing a button on his arm. The hissing sound of the door sliding open echoed in the room, seeing the same soldiers reappear. “Take the girl back.” He orders them cold and firm.

As he’s about to turn around you can see him moving his fingers slowly. Feeling the same previous sensation going down on your stomach before it moves to the side of your hip and thigh. You don’t have time to process what is happening as you’re being quickly picked up from under both of your arms. Your feet didn’t touch ground once as you were dragged back into your cell.

Being thrown inside of it, you see a plate of food waiting for you. Although upon seeing the supreme leader today, you were now more afraid than ever to eat it. Scared it might've been poisoned but you didn’t care. You had too many emotions going on inside of you to have any kind of appetite right now. As you move directly towards the bed, you get under the covers before hiding yourself fully underneath. The complete silence of your prison cell was making you crazy. What do I do? What can I do? He might be wrong about a detail or two, but he knew you did something and that is still too much for him to know. You cry as you start to shiver a little. The room wasn’t even that cold anymore, but you couldn’t help it. Feeling completely drained by your day. You could’ve died today, and no one would’ve have known since no one knew where you were. All you could think about was your sister. Wondering if she was okay. You knew she was probably at home well and alive. Trying to convince yourself of that fact was doing very little to comfort you. You were way too overwhelmed to have any rational thoughts right now. The lack of human contact and basic needs were killing you inside. The last time you saw her was two, three months ago? You didn’t even know how long you’ve been here. Having no clear indication of time really played with your sanity at this point. The days were all starting to blend together but tonight thinking about her helped a little.

Three days has gone by since you touched the food, they brought to you in daily. On a normal day, you just stayed in bed creating songs or searching for flaws inside the cell. There was a small window letting you see the outside, but the ship hasn’t really moved. Which gave you the same view for days now. You were talking to yourself aloud when you see a stormtrooper enter your cell. He tilts his helmets looking at you before walking around the tight space. Looking like a mad man as he searches out your bunk. Throwing the covers off your bed as well as the mattress. Shocked and in fear, you try to make yourself as small as you possibly can. Pushing yourself back into a tight corner. Trying to remain calm as he does his checkup, not wanting to interfere. “All clear.” you hear him speak simultaneously pressing a command on the side of his helmet. You watch him walk away relieved as you let out a blow of air. You don’t know what he was looking for but you’re for sure happy they didn’t find it here. That was the first time something like this ever happened since you're here. Useless to say that you were freaking the fuck out. After a moment of attempting to relax and calm yourself down. You thought that refusing food would've been harder. Dying by famine was probably not your best way out but you were content with it. You just wished you could see your sister one more time before leaving. On another hand you'll see your parents again which you miss painfully. You had less energy as time went by, so you tried to move as little as possible to conserve your energy. Lost in your thoughts, you jump as you hear the swooshing of your cell door sliding open again. Forcing you to straight up to the guard who doesn’t need to talk for you to understand as he shows you a pair of handcuffs in his hand.

Once they were on, you start walking the corridors. Curiously looking at the other troopers roaming the ship. You recognize the path you were taking. It is the same one you previously used to see the Supreme Leader. Quickly recollecting what happened the last time you were in his office. His hand chocking you as you were floating in the fucking air. That’s it I’m going to die tonight..

Arriving in front of the grand double doors, the soldier's halts. The one on your right moves his hands closer to your arms, removing your restraints. Gesturing with his helmet to get inside. Are they not going to follow you inside? Now this is weird, you truly have no idea what to expect anymore. He probably regrets not killing you the last time he had the chance. Maybe he simply wants to talk to you. That's a possibility, right? Either way you were stressed. You didn’t want to find out, you didn't want to be here at all. If you were to die on this ship, you'd prefer it to be alone, safe and peacefully thinking about your loved ones.

As you walk inside the darkly dimmed room, you slowly move cautiously. Hearing the supreme leader breathes as if he was near you. Although you can clearly see him from across the room. He was looking outside the window just like the last time you were here.

“Why are you not eating?” voice cracking from the electronics of his voice-corder.

You stay firm, trying not to show fear, “Is this what this is about? Why do you care if I live or..”

He turns around sharply cutting you off, “Silly girl, I need you alive..” now raising his voice at you.

You roll your eyes to him before he starts rushing towards you. Coming to you way closer than you would've liked. You prepare yourself to choke as you see his hand moving towards your face. Your blood becoming cold to the knowledge of your apparent death. Dropping a single tear along your cheek thinking about your sister, leaving her to be reunited with your parents.

Instead, you see him bring his finger up to catch it. Talking low and soft in contrast to his previous outburst. “I’ve been trying to read your mind, but you’ve seemed to have closed yourself to the outside. Sadly, I don’t know if I was misinformed by my sources but until I find out, I need you to eat and keep your attitude in check. Surely you can manage to do that?" asking you as he pushes your hair off your shoulder. You don’t dare to speak, simply nodding as a confirmation. Maker how long will he keep you here? He takes his thumb to softly caress your bottom lip with the tip of his gloved fingers before quickly pulling his hand away, clenching it into a fist.

You can hear the crinkling of the leather. As he’s about to turn away, you stop him, “Then why have you tried to kill me last time..”

He stays still, puzzled by your question. “Why do you have a death wish?”

You can hear the smile in his tone as you keep yours neutral. If you're trapped on this ship you need to find out why. Yes, he can't read your mind but why does he need to anyway? You can't possibly be this valuable to him. Maybe you can make him open up by pushing him a little. “I don’t, but I would’ve liked to see the face of my killer before I die..”

He tenses up to your statement not knowing what to really think of it. “Is there a problem with my helmet pretty girl?” asking arrogantly.

Did he just call you pretty? No stop that, you need to stay focus here. You lock your eyes to were you think his are through the helmet. “No, I just think that only cowards cover their faces. Especially when they kill..”

You hear him breathing hot and heavy. Thinking that you've finally done it. He’s going to lose it and kill you on sight. Instead, he removes his helmet in a quick single motion. His eyes looked tired with bag under them, pained as he’s staring into yours intensely. You wondered what happened to him. His eyes were so soft yet so lost. Your face starts to relax as he remains silent. Giving you time to observe and analyze him like he did with you. His lips were twitching as if he was fighting to stay calm. When he sees yours slightly parting as if you’re about to speak, he begins walking straight to you. His cape moving stiffly behind him. Now being able to smell him from the proximity. You were probably too afraid last time to notice it. Smelling a clean scent mixed with leather and metal as he gets closer to you.

“Are you satisfied?” he demands, his voice vibrating and shaking a little. Oh yeah, he's anxious..

You only nod to him in response. You had to admit, he was truly something. You were honestly stunned by his features. How can he be this beautiful? That can't be the supreme leader, right? He wasn't old like you did previously guess. No, you were wrong, he was actually cute. He seemed a bit older than you which you didn't really mind. He had long raven hair going almost to his shoulders. His curls looked soft even pushed back away from his face. He was large and tall, especially compared to you. Slowly leaning to your lips, you feel his breath tingling your jaw as you close your eyes. You don't know why but you're ready to let him do whatever he's about to do.

“Good” he replies simply quickly pulling himself away.

You open your eyes extremely confused. Did I do something wrong?

“Come get the girl..” You hear him speak eagerly between breaths into his wrist.

In a matter of seconds, you see the doors opening while he stays unmoved. Taking a moment to stare at you before putting his helmet back on, turning away to go back to his past position. You try to stop the soldiers from picking you up like last time, but they still do. You protest saying that you can walk by yourself and that they're hurting you but one of them reaches to his hip. Unclipping a glowing stick from his belt. All you can hear is the quick sound of electricity before letting out a cry of pain. The adrenaline caused by the high frequency voltage was debilitating. Making you fall automatically to the ground, moving your knees instinctively fast to your stomach. As the guard was about to strike you with another hit, you hear the static of a modulated voice. “What are you doing !?” He yells to the soldier.

The man appeared lost, not knowing what he did wrong as he looks to his partner. The supreme leader extends his arm, throwing him into the wall before turning to look at the other. “Just bring her back..” He orders him, speaking through his teeth angrily.

Back into your cell, you were lying on your bed trying to calm yourself down. You were still feeling dizzy from the attack. Although all you could think about was the supreme leader. He was leaving you with more questions than answers. He was hot, then cold.. He almost killed you, but then he needs you alive. He is violent but then talks to you softly. The way he looked at you, you could've sworn he wanted something from you or was it all in your head?

What does he want?

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mollysolo · 11 months

Note

Hi! How are you??

Can I request a Kylo Ren x Reader, where the reader is Rey’s older sister and has telekinesis (very powerful) and protects him from all the people who are after him but over use them and pass out but release a energy blast but he catches the reader in his arms and places them his bed and waits till they wake up.

thank u :)

Hold On To Me

Pairing: Kylo Ren X fem!Reader

Summary: In the midst of battle, you test the limits of your powers and end up going too far.

Warnings: Mentions of the reader passing out, Kylo worrying about the reader, Kylo crying a little

Word Count: 1.5k

a/n: i hope you like this!

the gif below does not belong to me

At this point, the two of you had been fighting non-stop for five hours and Kylo had to admit, he was beginning to feel a bit concerned for you. Mostly because while you had gotten to become very familiar with your powers, you had never fought for this long before. He feared that all of this fighting would be too much for you and your body would give out.

But he never pulled you aside to tell you to rest for a few minutes because he knew that’s you’d refuse. As long as Kylo was out there fighting, so were you. It was your job to protect him after all.

And you had been doing extremely well so far during this particular battle, but the edges of your vision had began to grow fuzzy and dark and your breathing was echoing in your ears. But you knew that now wasn’t the time to stop fighting. So as your vision continued to grow darker, you mustered up all of the energy you had left in your body and continued to fight.

Moments later, you passed out and consciousness left your body while you started to fall to the ground below you. And as you fell, your body sent out one last large energy blast, causing anyone within twenty feet of you to get thrown even farther away and fall down.

Seeing this happen to you shattered Kylo’s heart in his chest, he hated seeing you overwork yourself just so that he could be protected and stay alive. Seeing you pass out made he feel as if he didn’t deserve you at all. It also made him want to arrange more training for you so that this would never happen again.

But even in the midst of these sad thoughts that flooded his mind, he knew that couldn’t waste another minute. He needed to get to you, even though the Resistance fighters on the other side of the battlefield had also started to get up from their spots on the ground. He would get you back to safety, even if he died trying.

He pushed himself back onto his tired feet and slid his lightsaber back into its holster on his hip. He then began to sprint over to where you were laying on the ground. His blood was roaring in his ears while he ran, desperately hoping that he would make it to you before either of you got seriously hurt.

And when he did finally reach you, he gave into the strong emotions he was feeling and he let his knees crash into the ground while tears had started to well up in his eyes. But he didn’t need anyone in the Resistance to see that he was crying over you. So, he quickly scooped your body up into his arms and started to run back to his ship as quickly as his legs would allow him to.

Once he reached his ship not long after he had started running again, he strapped you into the seat next to him. He’d rather have you resting in bed right now but this was the next best choice until he got you back to the base. And while he did fly you two back to the base, he couldn’t help but look over at you every few minutes, needing to make sure that you were still okay, even in your unconscious state.

———————————

Upon returning to the base, Kylo ignored everyone and everything that could have possibly attempted to bother him while he tried to get you to your shared quarters, holding your body tight against his broad chest as he ran. And while he ran there, he mentally noted that it wouldn’t be necessary to take you to the med bay unless you passed out again shortly after you woke up.

And when he did reach your shared bedroom within your quarters, he stopped running and slowly walked up to the bed. He gently placed you on your side of the bed and took a deep breath in and out. Kylo stood there for a few more minutes after that, simply watching the way your chest rose and fell with every breath. He let this sight bring comfort to him.

She’s going to be okay, he assured himself as he started to walk away from the bed. He then quickly walked into his closet to retrieve another pillow for you.

He placed the pillow beneath your head as softly as he possibly could without disturbing you. And once the pillow was in place, he pulled the soft covers over you, took his helmet off and sat down in the chair he had pulled up to your bedside.

He sat there with your hand in his and patiently waited until you woke up. He would wait there in that chair for the rest of his life if necessary, he’d never leave your side. Even if someone tried to pull him away from you, he still wouldn’t leave you. He would let The First Order crumble if it meant that he could stay by your side forever. He loved you too much to ever think of leaving you. Especially when you needed him most, like you did now.

While Kylo was stuck in his thoughts, you slowly started to open your eyes, blinking them a few times as you adjusted to your surroundings at your own pace. And now that you were completely conscious again, you noticed the weight of Kylo’s hand in yours and you softly smiled to yourself.

You looked over at him and recognized that far away look in his eyes right away. Then softly started to stroke the back of his hand with your thumb before you said his name in an attempt to get his attention. You wanted him to see that you had woken up and that you were going to be okay.

“Kylo?” you said quietly, causing his eyes to meet yours as soon as his name left your lips.

You watched as a look of relief took over his face and his eyes started to tear up once again. You let go of his hand for now and placed your hand on his face, gingerly wiping away the tears that had started to fall down his cheeks. He leaned into your touch, relishing in the way it felt against his skin.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, using that same soft tone you had just spoken with, not wanting to startle or overwhelm you in this moment. While he spoke, he placed his hand over your own that was still holding his face and softly stroking his cheek.

You smiled a little while you started to talk, “I’m okay, my head hurts a little.” you say with a chuckle towards the end of your statement, “But I’m okay.” you answered, making all of Kylo’s worries vanish as if they had never been there in the first place.

He chuckled with you, flashing a toothy grin your way, making your own smile brighter, “Good.” he replied.

He then leaned in and placed a kiss to your lips, not pulling back for a minute or two while he let you kiss him back, “We’ll talk about what happened later, but for now I just want you to rest, angel.” he told you, prompting you to nod in response.

“Okay.” you whispered to him, he whispered this word back to you seconds later as he started to stand up once more.

He disappeared into your shared closet for a few minutes to change out of his robes and grab some comfier clothes for you. Once he came back to his bedroom, he handed you the clothes he had brought for you and offered to help you change into them. But you assured him that you would be just fine changing into them on your own.

And once you had changed into these clothes, you let out a soft sigh and got back into bed, encouraging Kylo to join you by patting his side of the bed. Not wanting to waste any time, Kylo quickly walked over to his side of the bed and swiftly got under the covers.

The two of you gazed into each others eyes for a little while as Kylo started to wrap his arms around your waist and tug you closer to him so that you could rest your head on his chest. Which you did, allowing the sound of his heart beating slowly lull you back to sleep.

“I love you.” you told him as your eyelids began to grow heavier and heavier, letting your body nestle into his even more than it already was.

He planted a soft kiss to your temple and let his arms reclaim their spot around your waist now that you were comfortable, “I love you too, angel.” he whispered into your ear, not wanting to stop you from getting the rest you truly deserved.

And as you fell asleep once again, a soft smile rolled out across your lips. Kylo had also started to smile while he fell asleep and even though you could not see it, he still let that feeling of happiness take over his usually cold features.

a/n: btw i am aware of the fact that the person who sent me this request has sent the same request to several other writers.

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6lostgirl6 · 9 months

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Omg, I've waited forever! Could I request an Adam Driver x gender neutal reader where they're his assistant on a movie set but they're super quiet and a bit intimidated by him. The reader is almost too quiet. After like a week of them tip-toeing around him afraid he's going to explode at any second Adam pulls them aside and tell them they're the best assisnt and gives them a big old bear hug the reader has a small meltdown of relif because they we're worried he was gonna flip out and fire them or worse.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Not What He Seems

Pairing: Actor!Kylo Ren x Assistant G/n!Reader

TW: Cursing

A/N: Hello Anon, this was such an amazing request and absolute joy to write! I do not write for actors so this is an AU where Kylo Ren is an actor rather than Adam Driver! I hope you enjoy this! Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Word Count: 1.1k

Gif Credit: @lux-ace

There are benefits to working as an assistant in Hollywood, and you can't help but be thankful for having the opportunity. However, as with any profession, there were always drawbacks. When you worked as their assistant, you had to deal with obnoxious celebs, greedy directors, you name it. But you never imagined that one of the best performers of the decade would hire you as his assistant.

As an actor who took his roles seriously, Kylo Ren gave interviews that were concise and even a little cold. During the first two weeks after being assigned, you were tremendously anxious. You would mumble a humble "yes, sir" in response to Kylo's requests and then dash off to finish your tasks. Without a doubt, you didn't linger by his side any longer than necessary.

You respected him, yet you couldn't help but feel terrified. You can still remember the first day you met him as his new assistant.

You were in the middle of scanning through the roll call, checking the room to make sure everyone was accompanied. Earlier that day, you spent the last two hours answering phone calls for the director. It was very tiring, and you were happy to handle another task that didn't require much energy. However, it changed when your boss appeared with a grin on his face.

"(Y/N), I have another task for you during your time on this set." The director said, his pointer finger beckoning for you to approach him. The director was an older man with graying hair and a mustache in a gray-toned suit.

You tried not to outwardly sigh before getting up, keeping your clipboard in your hand as you approached.

"Yes, Sir?" You asked, looking up at the director with a professional expression on your face. "What exactly do you need me to do?"

The director could only grin more before replying, Yes, actually, you're going to be an assistant for our male lead! Do you think you can manage that?"

Oh great, another one.

Your professional mask slipped for a moment, and your eyes showed a hint of disapproval. However, you knew you weren't exactly in a position to refuse his request. "Of course, who will I be assisting, Sir?"

"That would be him." The director said, turning behind him before pointing across the room.

You glanced at where he was pointing, and you almost felt your heart drop to your stomach. Across the room, observing all the equipment with sunglasses concealing his eyes, was Kylo Ren.

"Sir, are we sur-" You started to say before the director interrupted you. He has a horrible habit of doing that.

"Try not to upset him too much; his last assistant was fired, and you know how that goes around here."

Your eyes widened as your mind processed what was being said. Before you could recover and politely ask to assist in something else, the director walked away, throwing a casual 'thanks' over his shoulder.

Great.

Your eyes returned to the towering presence observing the equipment; his face was stone-cold, and his concealed eyes made him seem like an enigma. You hesitated before checking the role call once more, hoping that perhaps he arrived at the wrong set and the director didn't check his cast like usual.

However, you were severely disappointed when, towards the bottom of the roll call, his name was mentioned.

Kylo Ren, Leading Male.

You were totally screwed.

It has been a few weeks and Kylo was seated in his very own director's chair, which featured his name attached to the back using velcro. Kylo was never fond of those chairs since they made his back ache when he sat in them. That, however, did not concern him in the slightest. Ever since he was given his newest assistant, he has always been left in a state of confusion or bewilderment.

He was certainly not oblivious; he was aware that his assistant had been avoiding him or making an effort to leave earlier than necessary. You only exchanged a few words with him, but you were always exact and prompt in your responses to his demands. He couldn't deny that you were his best assistant, but he couldn't understand why you were so afraid around him. He was eager to discover the reality of the situation.

"(Y/N)." Kylo muttered, appearing behind you while you were organizing the beverages on the table.

You jerked, almost dropping the soda cans you were holding. Before you could drop the beverages to the ground, you quickly set them down on the table and turned to face Kylo.

"Y-Yes, Mr. Ren?" You replied, your neck craned back due to his towering frame. You were so nervous that you could hardly stand still as you silently prayed that you hadn't done something wrong that you weren't aware of. "Is there something wrong?"

"Yes, actually."

Oh, fuck.

From your silence, Kylo proceeded to remove his sunglasses, revealing his hazel eyes. You noticed that he appeared to shuffle a little, almost as if he were feeling awkward. You couldn't help but be a little curious about what he needed to say at this point.

"I've noticed you've been avoiding me, and I want to know why that is." He said, looking down at you with his face remaining neutral.

"Sir, I didn't mean-"

"Listen, I just want to understand why you seem afraid of me." He explained, before crossing his arms. "I think you owe me that much."

"I'm sorry..." You muttered, your eyes brimming with tears. You avoided his gaze, instead facing the ground.

When Kylo noticed the tears forming in your eyes, his eyes widened. He couldn't help but feel almost ashamed and somewhat guilty about upsetting you.

"Please, don't cry..." He muttered, watching as the tears began falling from your eyes. He hesitated before stepping forward, slowly wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a hug.

You gasped quietly, the unexpected hug catching you off guard. However, it wasn't unwelcomed as you slowly returned the embrace. Your head rested on his chest, and you listened to his breaths to calm down.

"Look..." He paused before continuing, "You're the best assistant I've ever had; you don't need to cry."

"Y-You're not going to fire me...?" You asked softly, sniffling.

"No, I'm not going to fire you." He chuckled, finding the idea a little absurd. "You can just...relax more around me, alright?"

He pulled away before putting his large hands on your shoulders, peering down at you with a small smile. "Can you do that for me?"

Without thinking, your own smile was appearing on your face, making you feel more calm.

"Yeah, I can do that." You whispered, nodding your head.

"Good." He replied before straightening up, his hands returning to his sides. He turned slightly, giving you one last glance before putting his sunglasses back on and walking away.

Spam Liking w/o Reblogging = Blocked

Taglist: Comment to be added!!

@prettywhenibleed @britany1997 @leiasolo77 @rottent33th @slaasherslut @bookworm-with-coffee

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asirensrage · 3 months

Note

I look at this man as just a little spiteful

"Don't act like this means nothing to you! You're the same as me!"

I see him being surprised by the MC, acting like an idiot and ruining his plans by running around after them

Kylo Ren - Star Wars

This took forever and I'm sorry. I hope you like it...and forgive me lol. It didn't quite go the direction you gave me...but it is fun.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Star Wars Pairing: Kylo Ren x unnamed!female!oc Warnings: sex. manipulation. use of the force. Un-beta’d! Prompt: "Don't act like this means nothing to you! You're the same as me!" Summary: She gets caught. word count: 2k

It probably shouldn’t have been as entertaining as it was, but watching him react when she ruined another of his plans was hilarious. In a death-defying way. Like standing on the edge of a cliff knowing that you could fall. The thrill of it was enough to sustain her as she slipped away, listening to him scream in frustration.

They thought she was part of the revolution, the rebels that keep causing them trouble, but she’s never met a rebel in her life. Not that she knows of. Her desire for chaos and causing Kylo Ren problems stems simply from the fact that she can. He deserves it for what she’s seen him put others through. Especially when he can’t control his temper.

She’s a little surprised that they haven’t managed to find her though. She’s hiding in plain sight and you think with all the talk of how great the force is, he’d sense her. Maybe Hux had a point about hubris and the inevitable downfall of relying on outside sources. Then again, it’s Hux so he can’t be that right. She thinks they’re just looking for someone more menacing than she is. Like a more obvious threat than the woman who works with the cleaning droids.

It’s the arrogance that lets her slip by them with ease. That assumption that they can only be taken by someone they perceive as being strong. At least until she hears that each individual is to be inspected by Kylo Ren himself. It sends the crew into a panic. She tries not to roll her eyes at the dramatics.

When her name is called, she walks into the chamber with ease. It’s familiar, even if the man is not, and she forces herself to twist her fingers together in nerves. She keeps her eyes on the floor and waits.

“Who are you?” The voice is distorted by his mask.

“Maintenance, sir.” Her voice is steady even as she won’t meet his eyes.

The silence weighs down on her but she doesn’t give in, even though she can practically feel his presence increasing.

“Look at me.”

She lifts her head, eyes meeting where his should be. She expects to see the mask. Instead, she sees his face. Dark eyes, a strong nose and jaw…it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before. Just because she’s slipped under their notice doesn’t mean she hasn’t been paying attention.

He stares at her, eyes boring into hers. There’s a pressure in her head, like a growing headache, that seems to increase the longer he looks at her. She stares back, wondering how long this is going to take.

“It’s you.”

She blinks back. “I don’t understand, sir.”

“No. Don’t play games or attempt to lie. I know your mind. It’s you.” He pulls back slightly, just enough to make her feel like she can breathe again. “Why are you ruining my work?”

“What work?” She asks.

“What–” he cuts himself off, turning from her. She tries not to laugh, amused at how he’s attempting to control his anger. She expected to be dead by now if he was certain. The fact that she’s alive tells her that he’s not. “You know exactly what I refer to! Why are you being insubordinate?”

“Sir, I’m in maintenance. If one of the droids that you work with, that cleans your rooms, is failing, that would be part of my work. What else would you refer to?”

She feels the pressure before she’s sent back flying into the wall behind her. It holds her there as Kylo Ren stalks forward.

“Don’t lie to me!” he snaps. “Don’t act like this means nothing to you! You’re the same as me!”

He is insistent, she’ll give him that, but his lack of an actual explanation of his meaning gives her too much space to fill in the blanks. She just has to change her approach. “Okay, okay!” She meets his eyes. “Can you let me go? I’ll explain.” His confidence in his control is going to be his downfall.

He releases the pressure on her and she stumbles forward slightly, rolling her shoulders as she tries to ignore the lingering sensations of it.

“Tell me.”

“I am in maintenance,” she says. “And I have been…watching you,” she softens her voice.

“Why?”

“Because I couldn’t get the thought out of my head of what your hands might feel like on my skin.” Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t that. She can see it with the way his eyes widen.

He suddenly scowls. “You are trying to distract me. It won’t work.”

“You wanted the truth,” she says. “I’m giving it. Just because you haven’t seen me doesn’t mean that I could ignore you, sir.”

In all her time here, she’s never actually seen the man with a partner. She thinks it’s because people are frightened of him, maybe due to his anger, but she knows he desires that contact, that connection. She can use that.

He looks surprised and confused, still trying to maintain his scowl.

“I’m sorry for any confusion or if I made you uncomfortable…” She glances away purposefully. “I just–you wanted to know,” she tells him. She steps forward, towards him and tries not to react when he startles at the movement. “I understand, sir if you want me to go…I won’t bother you again.”

She moves to leave only to be stopped by his demand.

“I did not dismiss you.”

She stops instantly, turning towards him. “My apologies. I assumed I made you uncomfortable.” She keeps her head down, even if she’s tempted to meet his gaze straight on, but moves to him. He doesn’t step away and she takes the chance to place her hand on his breastplate. “Unless…you’re not?” Now she looks up at him from under her lashes. She keeps her grin to herself as she pushes herself up on her toes and brushes the corner of his mouth with her lips. He’s practically frozen in place and all she needs is him to shove her away and demand she leave him.

The moment she pulls back though, he pulls her back, his mouth covering hers. He kisses her desperately. He has little style and technique and she tries to help, to ease him into it. Once he slows down, it actually starts to feel good. She’ll give him that, he’s a quick learner.

She takes the chance to show him how to kiss, how to nip at someone’s lip lightly, and how to deepen it without getting sloppy. She reaches for him carefully, feeling how he flinches when she touches the side of his face.

He takes the small things she offers with a desperation she can practically taste. He is incredibly touch-starved and it shows with how tightly he holds her, how he nips at her neck and grinds himself into her.

It’s surprisingly easy to maneuver him back, to push him to fall on his bed. He looks young with the way he stares up at her in awe and want. It’s almost enough to forget everything he’s done. She straddles him, mentally calculating how long this will take before he breaks and she can slip away.

He holds her carefully, as though he’s terrified she’s going to break or disappear from his grasp. It would be sweet if she wasn’t simply using this against him. She sits on him, slowly grinding her hips against his as she starts to try to figure out how to get him out of his armour. She ignores his gaze as he pulls down the zipper of her jumpsuit. She lets him, focusing on unclipping the large belt around his waist and his cloak. She pauses to slip her arms out of the sleeves of her worksuit before carefully peeling the gloves off of his hands.

“You can touch me,” she says softly. Sensing his hesitation, she grabs one of his hands and places it on her breast. She’s still wearing her support, but it doesn’t stop him from getting a feel for the softness and weight of them.

He pulls her down suddenly, kissing her hard. She grins against his mouth, amused at his effort to take control. She breaks it only to scrape her teeth gently against his jaw. She sits back up and undoes her chest support. His eyes widen the smallest amount seeing her bare breasts and she has to bite back the laugh. It’s too easy.

It doesn’t take much after that to get him to help her undress him. He fakes being confident well but she can see the slight tremble in his touch, the hesitation that mixes with desire in his gaze.

She takes the lead, moving back onto his lap and feigning giving him control as she lets him guide her hips against his. He’s hard enough against her that she could likely simply get him to reach his release like this but she needs him exhausted. It’s a bonus that she finds this equally pleasurable. She’s not sure if it’s the manipulation, the potential chaos or the way he actually feels against her, but she’s enjoying it. Hearing the leader of the Knights of Ren try not to beg while he’s under her is intoxicating.

She angles him herself before she eases his cock into her, wincing as his grip tightens on her hips. She’ll be bruised from this. She moans, briefly wondering why she didn’t attempt this sooner before she slowly starts to move.

Just like that…her control is lost.

He moves faster than she can comprehend. An arm around her waist and she’s on her back with him above her. She frowns slightly at the sudden change, unamused by the loss of her obvious control. It’s fine. She can still get what she wants from this.

Her head falls back, eyes closing as Kylo thrusts forward into her. She digs her nails into his shoulders, a parting gift to remember her by, not that she’d say that out loud.

For all of his inexperience, he learns quickly and uses the resources available to him. While he fucks her, muttering about how good she feels, he uses his mouth on her breasts, sucking marks and sending sparks down her spine every time his mouth encloses a nipple. The surprise though is the way he uses the Force. She’s felt herself be pinned by it before, she’s seen him move things and people with ease but she doesn’t expect the sudden pressure on her clit while his hands still grip her in place as he moves in her.

She cries out, the pressure suddenly breaking and she clenches around him as she reaches her release. It hits harder than any she’s had by herself.

He buries his face in her neck, teeth digging into her skin as he chases his own. He groans as he feels her tightening around him and for a moment, she feels the pressure around her building. Her hands are suddenly pulled and pinned by the energy he controls above her.

“Sir?” she breathes, blinking up at him.

“You asked for this,” he growls at her. “You watched me? This as good as you dreamed?”

She moans as the pressure increases. His control is impeccable. “Yes,” she breathes, knowing it’s what he wants to hear.

He kisses her again, hard and demanding as he increases his pace. She clutches him to her, digging her heel into his back as he moves. It doesn’t take long before his hips stutter and he groans as he falls into his release.

She lets him rest on her for a moment before she taps his chest. “You’re heavy, sir.” He kisses her quickly before he rolls off of her. She winces at the loss but lets herself breathe and the tension drains from her. She was close to another release but she doesn’t mind losing it.

He pulls her into him, to rest her head on his chest. She traces small patterns on his abs while she waits, making herself focus only on the feeling of lying with him and the satisfaction of her plan succeeding as she pretends to fall asleep until he does.

It doesn’t take long.

She slips out of his embrace, getting dressed quickly and quietly before she leaves his room, pausing only to steal a key pass. She heads straight to the docking bay. She needs to get out of here before he wakes up. The thrill of escaping before he realizes she tricked him is nearly as good as the sex was. She laughs as she slips into a supply ship with one of her droids. She only wishes she could see it when he realizes it.

#my prompts #burnincrown #asks #kylo ren x oc #kylo ren smut #kylo ren fic #star wars fic

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kaelatargaryen · 11 months

Text

Fanfiction

I’m curious to know, how many of y’all remember when explicit/smutty fics were called lemons? And why’d we stop cause it was kinda cute 🍋

I’m 31 this year and have these moments of extreme nostalgia for whatever reason and this was this morning’s lmao

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star-killer-md · 1 year

Text

Dream A Little Dream of Me Pt. 9

I’m just going to conveniently not say anything about the whole ‘it’s been two years since my last update thing’ and instead give a huge thanks to all the people who have continued to express amazing love and support for this fic despite it being unfinished for so long. You're all the best and have singlehandedly motivated me out of hiatus. I will finish this fucking thing even if it takes me another two years lol. Anyway I see all your messages and comments and I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy! <33

AO3 Mirror

Part 8

Part 10 to come

Warnings: the usual amounts of angst, but also some comfort! we’re growing <3 I promise the smut is coming in the next part

Summary: In which weaknesses are discovered and a friend is made.

Ship: Kylo Ren x Negotiator!Reader

Word Count: 7.8k

It was damp on the floor of the bathroom. The condensed steam from your shower the night before had collected on the smooth tiles and fused the skin of your thighs to the grout. You had hoped that by staying there, bare and wet and curled against the vanity, that you might become one with the walls. Might decay in the space of a night and melt into the molding.

You already shared many similarities in regards to autonomy with, say, a nice side table or perhaps a sturdy desk chair—reliable yet held to the behest of whatever was set down upon you—that it wouldn’t be too much of an adjustment.

But the powers above were, at best, indifferent; you remained held together by joints of bone rather than wood, and your responsibilities still weighed on you as light began to filter in under the door.

Perched feet away and seemingly impervious to the tepid moisture of the air, however, the notebook sat after being abandoned an hour or so before dawn. You’d gone over it so many times now, deciphered the handwriting of a power hungry lunatic—of which you were in no short supply—stupidly hoping there would be some secret, some sense hidden that you could find. Something you were missing that would make all of this microscopically better.

You found nothing.

And the longer you read, the more you committed to memory, the darker the pit in your stomach grew. The more sour taste bubbled up from the back of your throat as though something in you really was rotting.

Peeling yourself off of the floor and padding out into the main room, you found it predictably empty. There was only a slight and purposeful rumpling of the sheets, a few delicately presented strands of dark hair, that made the curdling taste grow stronger.

All the hints of his stay in your bed, the blankets tossed around as though it were an afterthought, reeked of an unawareness your Commander did not possess.

It screamed:

Here is the evidence of the crime.

Look at what you’ve missed.

Not very much. A warm body between you and the doorway for only the night, hands that would only touch you softly when you wouldn’t remember it, mint scented words that made impossible promises.

No, not very much. The words shouted out in your head and you did not care whether the man in question heard you.

Or where he was now for that matter.

He certainly didn’t tell you, no other deviations from the norm were allowed. No mercy. Not from Kylo Ren.

There was, however, a small slip of paper torn off the complimentary notepad, resting on the bedside table.

“Don’t leave this room,” it read in some of the neatest print you’d ever seen.

You took a moment to set aside your anger and appreciate the penmanship in a time in which years could go by before you’d ever seen anything written by hand—notebook of a madman notwithstanding. The ink was firm and even as though perfect pressure was used to push the pen to the paper and there were fine lines which connected each letter despite the fact that it was not cursive. As though his normal scrawl was looping and graceful, but he’d chosen print to be sure you could read it.

Someone had taught him that, you thought then. Someone had sat down and guided his much smaller, clumsy hands to copy lines and hold the pen so that it would put a divet on the edge of his middle finger. An image came to mind of his massive shoulders hunched over the little table, uncapping the pen between his crooked teeth and writing out his unnecessary command.

It made your chest warm and tight and quelled just a bit of the roiling in your gut.

You trailed a finger softly over the indents left on the page, and fought to keep the small smile threatening to appear off your face.

Another thing you’d never considered he would do. Sleep, eat or drink—black coffee and room temperature fruit—brush his teeth and smell of regulation mint, write you notes…

He seemed always to be full of these things you thought him incapable of.

Next you’d discover that he crocheted in his free time.

But you put those thoughts away before you fell victim once again to that pesky little habit of yours. To melt like butter in the sun at the sight of the ordinary. You considered, instead, the horrible notion that it may all be manufactured. That the sticky sweetness dripping down your spine then was placed there on purpose, orchestrated by Atreus, the man currently trying to end your life, the very same life he’d apparently controlled, for a few more rungs up the ladder.

And, if true, was everything Kylo Ren felt but would not say artificial too? Like everything in the First Order. Transplanted into your Commander who otherwise would not have cared for you at all?

Which then begged the question;

Was fabricated obligation still obligation?

Did the intention matter here?

It was as though you were back again, tucked into your small quarters, with a closet full of uniforms and water that was always the wrong side of lukewarm, your life as expendable and just as identical to every other officer that had the misfortune of walking the halls of Starkiller Base. When all you had were dreams to set you apart, to keep you going.

You supposed it was best that the note—tucked into your bags for safekeeping—was all you had now.

Just like back then, not really so long ago, the anger was easier.

You wouldn’t know what to say to him anyway, and the thought of facing Kylo Ren—the person, the Commander—was bitter. Like the shattering of an illusion. You’d like to think you were never one to avoid problems, professional or otherwise. Whether that was out of personal habit or it was beaten into you by Hux who would have had you taken to the bridge and shot if you dared ignore an issue, you didn’t know. But now you couldn’t help but feel like drawing out the final moments before the ball dropped.

For the first time in a long time, since perhaps your academy days, you wished very deeply to pretend for a while longer, that you had not read what was written on the pages you’d memorized hours before, instead of rushing headlong into the fire.

Pretend that the frustration you felt towards Kylo Ren was simply because he’d destroyed another conference room or pissed off another senator’s son and later tonight you’d wrap yourself in scratchy synthcloth sheets and close your eyes so he could melt away all that dark, pulsing anger with calloused hands.

And it seemed that, for once, you may have gotten your wish.

Your head turned abruptly as someone rapped lightly on the door. A bolt of adrenaline coursed through you suddenly, making your hands shake as you frantically grabbed for one of the complimentary bathrobes before shuffling warily over.

“It’s me!” came a cheery and blessedly familiar voice from the hall.

You unclicked the lock and pulled the door open immediately.

“Hiya,” Lem said, looking almost comically disheveled in your doorway and peering down at you with eyes crinkled at the corners from his grin. “Can I come in?”

He was also dressed in a bathrobe, his hair undone and forming slight waves that brushed his cheekbones, dusted pink. In his hands he held two mugs, clearly swiped from the kitchens on the ground floor and an equally stolen, and rather expensive, looking bottle of Coruscanti sparkling wine.

“Uh, sure,” you mumbled, shooting him a confused look and fighting to keep the smile off your face at the hilarity of seeing him in such a state.

“Oh thank god,” he sighed, pushing past you into the room and wandering over to your table to set down the bottle and mugs. “I was afraid you’d have gone before I finished my smuggling.”

“And what exactly do I have to do with your smuggling?” you asked, laughing despite yourself and leaning back against the door.

“Well I felt horrible blowing you off last night, so I thought I’d help you finalize your speech,” he picked at the foil cork covering for a moment before tearing it off completely with his teeth and opening the bottle with a resounding pop, “I also have my own causes for celebration.”

He certainly did. Even from across the room, you could see the dark bruise, speckled at the edges on the side of his neck and a few more dipping below the plunging neckline of his robe. His skin and warm eyes glistened and his teeth poked out between thin lips with the effort to keep from smiling.

You remembered the circumstances for his ‘blowing you off’ and sighed.

Lem looked so…in love. So much so, even you could recognize it.

And you found you didn’t hate him for it.

“How kind of you,” you said, accepting the mug of wine—which broke so many rules of etiquette it was almost painful—and took a real sip. “You didn’t have to do that.”

It was Lem’s turn to peer at you quizzically.

“I wanted to.”

He said it was the simplest thing in the world. And maybe it was in his. You wished briefly that sort of sentiment came naturally to you as well.

Maybe that was why you never quite fit in with the other officers. Maybe that was how they sniffed you out and tried to tear you out of the chain of command, like just another weak link.

You wondered how Lem could have ever thought he’d belong there with his rosy cheeks and his caring that he may have abandoned you.

He downed his mug in one go and poured another without a second thought. Neither of you mentioned the fact that you were both clearly wearing nothing more than a robe. You appreciated the solidarity.

“I guess we can get to it then,” you said, gesturing to the bed. “Sorry my other chairs, uh, broke, so—”

Lem cut you off by launching himself back onto the rumpled pillows and destroying any of the vague messages left for you that morning. He laughed again and patted the pillows beside him.

You bit your lip to stop from grinning back.

“You’ve got to apologize to him in here somewhere,” Lem huffed, gesticulating with your datapad in hand and taking another sip of wine. “Truly it’s impressive that you’ve managed to avoid it completely seeing as it was the entire point of the thing.”

“Never underestimate the First Order, Mr. Alba,” you replied, not looking up from the outfit you were attempting to lay out for the day.

Lem chuckled behind you. In your mind, you could perfectly picture the little roll of his eyes and the slight, incredulous shaking of his head.

“Well, I’m adding it into the third paragraph.”

Your eyes wandered as he continued nitpicking and stumbled across the faint outline of a bloody boot print on the floor and quickly tossed a loose top over it.

“I really wish you wouldn’t.”

Dark eyes peered at you from narrowed lids.

“It’ll never get approval if I don’t,” he muttered and you heard his fingers tapping away, rewriting the lines. “And don’t wear that top, it’s too heavy. The second one you had was better.”

“I didn’t know you were branching out into fashion consultation too,” you griped, but put the hanger in your hand back on the rack. He was probably right anyway. They always cranked the heat during these things. You’d done it before, to make them ‘really sweat’ Hux always said.

“ I’m actually not too great at all that,” Lem had drained the rest of the wine from the bottle and was currently rolling onto his back, head halfway off the mattress so his hair brushed the comforter and revealed his face. “Jane likes it though. Did you know you’re not meant to mix black and brown leathers? Quite tacky, I’m told.”

“Who?”

You held up a few options of matching bottoms and continued deliberating, only glancing back after a few seconds of what you discovered was stunned silence.

“Jane. Jane my—” Lem cut himself off, his mouth hanging open, aghast until it dawned on you.

“Oh! Oh, right, yes the waiter boy,” you nodded and tried to look a bit abashed. “Did he say anything about which of these bottoms would be best?”

“You’re shameless.”

He was right side up when you looked over this time, still sprawled out but leaning on his elbows. More of his robe gaped open at the front, showing a line of bruises that seemed to hilariously have been sucked into the shape of a heart just under his collar bone.

Lem followed the line of your gaze and quickly moved to cover himself. “The first one.”

“Give him my thanks, will you?”

You thought your companion looked much less scandalized than he probably would have been if not for the wine. Mostly because you, yourself, were feeling much less tight lipped than usual.

“You’re just jealous that you’ve not got yourself a man who would,” he gestured vaguely to his chest, “for you.”

Something about that statement itched a bit at the back of your neck, but you laughed nonetheless at the mere image of Kylo sucking a heart of hickies onto your throat.

“You’re right, I definitely do not have one of those,” you said.

In the ensuing silence, you padded over and flopped back down on the bed next to Lem so the two of you lay head to foot. It was quiet for a moment more, just the peaceful sound of breath and the slight crumpling of linens.

Your face felt warm, whether from the wine or from what you were about to ask you didn’t know. You embraced the burn of cracking open.

“Do you love him?”

Lem shifted next to you. Maybe trying to catch a glimpse of your face, but you didn’t bother looking back at him.

“Jane?” he asked and continued without waiting for your answer. “Yeah, of course I do.”

“How do you know?”

He thought for a bit at that and you could feel the rotting, twist in your stomach returning. You almost lost your edge and told him to nevermind, forget you’d asked. It was just the wine. Wasn’t it? The two of you weren’t close, it was an odd thing to ask someone you’d only just met.

“Because I’d do anything for him,” Lem said, after a moment. “Not just little things, but die and kill and all that existential stuff.”

“Really?” you asked, overcome by a sudden desperation to hear his answer. “You’d kill for him?”

“If he needed it. I wasn’t sure before, but I am now.” This time the answer was instantaneous, but the question that followed took its time bubbling out of his throat. “Do you think that’s enough?”

It was your turn to try fruitlessly to peer down at Lem who had turned his head to the side and mumbled his question into the blankets. You flopped back down and thought for a moment.

Thought of the bloody boot print on the floor, and a dark shadow standing between you and whatever threat waited just beyond the door. You thought of hands that dragged you back from the depths. Of pretty waves and dark hair that hid the world from view—acts of devotion.

“I’d love anyone who’d do that for me.”

It wasn’t until you heard Lem’s answering hum that you realized you’d spoken at all.

“Yeah, me too.”

A short while later, after checking the time, Lem scrambled to grab his mugs and abandoned bottle, rushing off to get his own outfit picked out for the long day ahead.

You walked him to the door, but he paused before you could swing it open.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, using his free hand to pull you tightly to his chest. “You’re a good friend.”

You froze on the spot, arms hanging limply by your sides, unable to recall when exactly you’d ever done this before, as he crushed your ribs for a brief moment and stepped back. Strangely your eyes had begun to sting the second your cheek made contact with his shoulder and your voice felt strained when you spoke.

“See you later,” you said as he stepped out into the hall with a final, grin before shutting the door behind him.

“I wonder if I could speak with you for a moment.”

The first meeting of the day had only just finished and your heart sank as you stopped in your tracks just outside the conference room door. Other, blessedly free staffers continued to flow out into the hall, taunting you as they disappeared through the elevators or down stairwells.

You couldn’t have ignored that voice even if you’d tried—which was tempting though ill-advised. Not with the words dripping down your spine and sticking to your hands, thick and sickly as oil. Atreus didn’t bother to phrase it as a question, though it wasn’t quite a demand either. Just a statement, confoundingly neutral.

“Of course,” you replied, expression schooled—blank and polite even as his face alone, angular and bone sharp, elicited a blur of frantic handwritten maniacal plans to flash behind your eyelids. “I have some time free this evening if you’d-”

“Oh no,” pale eyes bored into you, setting the hair on the back of your neck on end. “I’m afraid my schedule only permits a few minutes currently. If you please-”

He stepped back as the last few people from the prior hour’s meeting filtered out of the conference room, and gestured for you to follow. It was harder than you’d like to admit to squash down the shot of panic that coiled in your gut. You clasped your hands behind your back so he would not see them shaking—an old trick Hux, of all people, had bestowed upon you once a long time ago. He seemed to use it himself quite frequently.

With a deep breath, you followed Atreus inside.

“What is it you’d like to discuss,” you began, placing yourself squarely by the door. “If it’s about my speech, I’d be happy to receive any critiques during my scheduled presentation. I believe it’s right after lunch.”

“Actually no,” Atreus sighed, a strange and out of place sort of sound from a man who seemed so perpetually smug. Dejection was not a look he wore well. Or convincingly for that matter. “I believe you are owed an apology.”

What.

You blinked.

“Excuse me?”

Very rarely could you say you’d ever been truly blindsided on the job. You were well seasoned. The First Order was no stops barred when it came to the disturbing, disgusting, and blood-soaked. Needless to say, it took a lot to shake you after years of what amounted to incredibly effective exposure therapy. It was probably very telling in a way you shoved immediately down your throat, that an apology of all things was what sent your brain flashing a great big error screen.

The shock must have shown clearly on your face, because Atreus chuckled at the apparent crack in your exterior.

“Yes, I’m sure you aren’t accustomed to this sort of thing in your line of work,” he mused, leaning down against the table top across from you.

In your haze, you noted it lowered him just enough that he had to look up to meet your eye.

“No,” you flashed him a tight lipped smile. “I’m only a bit uncertain what you’d be apologizing for .”

That may have been your best lie yet. The actual list went on farther than the list of the Order’s confirmed galactic war crimes. Trying to have you killed hovered close to the top of the list, right next to the fact that his hairline only receded on the right side of his head and not the left which was somehow more frustrating in that moment than the ongoing murder plot.

“Well I believe Mr. Alba may have made some,” Atrues paused, shifting to look down at the floor briefly, the movement made him slouch as he continued, “ inappropriate comments concerning you and your superior during our dinner last night which I feel I may have inadvertently encouraged.”

You crossed your arms in a mostly subconscious and defensive gesture. Dinner had certainly been an uncomfortable affair, but no more uncomfortable than any other interaction you’d had the displeasure of experiencing during your time on Coruscant. There was something distinctly off putting both about the way that he had so clearly thrown his own fellow staffer under the proverbial bus and in his particular placement in the room.

Worthless insect of a man, you thought as loudly as possible. Hoping that leaning into the anger growing in your chest, you might stop shaking in your boots.

There was still the unsettling feeling of being ensnared, trapped despite the exit free and clear. Still teeth digging into the meat of your leg, your brain quickly parsing out whether it was better to simply chew it off to escape or face the creature before you.

“I can’t recall Lem making any untoward comments regarding the General or myself,” you said, annoyed more on Lem’s behalf than your own. He certainly made quite a few impulsive quips, but you didn’t feel any pleasure hearing the criticism come from someone else’s mouth other than your own.

Maybe that’s what being friends was, you wondered distantly, determined to ask him the next time you got drunk together. Whenever that was. Hopefully soon.

“As I said, I may have encouraged the conversation down a less than savory path,” Atreus sat then in one of the abandoned chairs, placing himself even lower as you remained standing. “In any case, I’m sure no one meant to insinuate any sort of unprofessional relationship between you or any of your superiors, the General or otherwise. I would not want to have inadvertently offended our honored guest from the Order.”

“Well, you have my thanks for your concern,” you could feel your palms begin to sweat, slick heat that had your nails biting into the muscle of your hand. “As I said, I work only for General Hux, and I’m sure no one, Lem or otherwise, meant to imply there may be some relation between us other than that of a subordinate and superior.”

You hoped your hidden meaning was plain, even as the man, if he could be called that, across from you acted as though he did not notice. Acted as though this was not the battle he’d clearly meant it to be and refused to take your bait, refused to play the game. Acted as though the whole of it was genuine, as though he was capable of concern for your comfort,

As though—

And maybe it was the way he looked at your through his lashes, brows knit just a touch to wrinkle the skin and how his pale eyes were shaded just enough to appear a slightly deeper blue, the light streaming into the room making his hair seem to shine in the light—but you finally placed why exactly you felt so threatened in spite of the seeming lack of visible threat.

You’d felt this way once before, back in your academy days and it had stuck with you ever since. One of the very few times there actually had been a lesson in a disciplinary action. You and another recruit had been caught out fighting—verbally, something trivial enough that you couldn't remember the details—and were lectured thoroughly on the less than professional display.

But it wasn’t the lecture that stuck, it was your classmate’s response.

You knew him well enough, vicious and cruel in a way that made him a perfect fit for a First Order Officer but you’d watched from the hall as he’d curled in on himself, groveling to your instructor in such a way that needled something deep and instinctual in your brain.

Not quite right, not quite human, but the facsimile of remorse.

That was exactly what you were looking at now. A poor impression of the way Lem glanced at you during meetings, a gross misinterpretation of worry lacking any of the warmth and foolish sincerity that came from the man who’d just brought you wine and helped pick your clothes.

Hugged you.

Called you friend.

It was that same part of your brain that lit up now, alerted to the presence of something almost . Some attempt at emotions this thing before you could never hope to capture.

Playing at something only understood in concept and never felt.

What you couldn’t really parse out was why.

“I’m sure you’re glad of it,” he replied smoothly. “Respectfully, I have not heard the other members of the triumvirate to be easy individuals to work with.”

“I wouldn’t know, really, my contact with them is limited,” you said in as conversational of a tone you could muster up, pulling out your data pad as though to check the time. “They’re very busy people, as you can imagine.”

“Is that so?” Atreus mused, and you watched him through your peripherals as he stared pointedly, frown melting from his face as you looked back up. “Your reputation seems in conflict with that.”

“Well cleaning up after someone else’s messes does not usually entail much contact with the man responsible,” you powered off the screen and took a step back towards the door, hoping to talk your way into an exit by divulging just a bit. “I’m afraid if you were hoping to be regaled with stories of our illustrious Commander, you’d have much more luck speaking to the General. He’s always happy to share his frustrations in that area.”

“Really? I’d have thought you’d have seen a great deal of Commander Ren considering the circumstances.”

Oh you’d seen a great deal alright, unruly mind supplying you with plenty of supporting evidence in the form of a wide expanses of bare, freckled skin and thick, corded thighs, dark eyes and crooked teeth with little gaps that left the tip of his pink tongue poking out, nearly the same shade of pink as—

Yes.

A Great Deal.

“No, I’m afraid not.” You took back your earlier statement. This was most certainly the best lie you’d ever told. “Apologies, but I do have another meeting I have to attend.”

“Yes, of course.”

You tamped down the increasingly loud voice in your head telling you to sprint full speed out of the room and not stop until you’d put at least a few light years between yourself and the man behind you. There was a pressure at the base of your neck the second you turned your back to him. A familiar and otherworldly sensation of hands pushing in on your temples, pinching the skin and bone. But there was no flash of images that accompanied the intrusion, just blank pain that increased until it felt as though you’d taken a blaster bolt straight through your skull.

And then, nothing. As though the sensation had been ripped away, forcefully until you stumbled forward through the door. You only looked back for a moment, too caught up in the ensuing panic to bother keeping up appearances.

But it was long enough to catch the gaze directed at your back.

And in it you saw fear.

The room was quiet when you returned, just as the light was beginning to fade, casting the walls with a dying red glow. You toed off your shoes at the door and let it drift closed behind you. No chairs today, both because Kylo had shattered your last one and because it somehow felt unnecessary after the day's events.

You were thinking while you shuffled into the bathroom and ran the tap cool. Splashing your face, the water dripped down your chin and you stared at it for a moment, running down the drain.

Thinking.

Thinking of a moment from your last meeting. Lem was right, it was stifling hot in those rooms, and sweat had run tracks down your spine and ribs. The salt sting of it on the still healing scratches you bore from your late night beach escapade actually helped distract from the announcement Atreus made as he went over the timeline for the upcoming week. Brought back more pleasant if not equally violent memories.

“We have only a few days until Representative Gahl will make the announcement he is running for re-election,” he said in that cloying voice, sweet in the way that rot is sweet, no longer pretending to be anything other than what he was. “I expect you all to put in whatever hours necessary leading up to the event.”

He paused as if for dramatic effect. It would have been a physical struggle to not roll your eyes at the display if not for his long, pale finger—hooked like a scythe—pointing at one of the dates projected before you.

The day you’d die.

“You will do whatever is necessary to ensure our success.”

His eyes had a strange, thousand parsec stare to them as he said it, making the wrinkles of his face seem harder. As if he were saying it more to himself than to anyone else. You pretended not to notice that his eyes flicked to you as the words dissipated through the crowd. If you’d dared to stare back, you thought maybe you’d catch a glimpse of it again, that dark drop of panic in his stark gaze.

You shivered despite the heat.

And now, you slid to the familiar cool tile floor, relishing the grounding chill.

It was interesting.

You hadn’t thought it would be, the whole ‘countdown to your own demise’ conundrum. But it was. The calmness that it brought, really, that was what surprised you. For all intents and purposes, you’d spent so much of your time with the underlying assumption that at any moment hell could descend upon your stationed star destroyer and you’d be cast out into the ether to return from whence you came. You guessed that experience was universal when it came to your fellow members of the Order. Everyone was always operating under the constant assumption, just under the surface, that each day may be their last and they would have spent it bitching about the cafeteria slop or cursing the seemingly nonexistent water heating capabilities of Starkiller Base.

You’d never quite been able to make peace with that the way all the other officers seemed to. It wasn’t just a pulse under the surface for you—a sensation that faded into the background. It itched and burned just under your skin.

But not now, and that was the interesting bit. No, now that you were staring down the metaphorical and potentially literal blaster barrel, you breathed easier than you had since arriving on this godforsaken planet.

Because you could walk into it, you thought, burying your dripping face into one of the disgustingly fluffy white hand towels. Because you could walk in and sit at the table and know more than your opponent.

Because Atreus had made a fatal mistake. Actually quite a few in succession, but they all came from the same source. He had fallen victim to the most simple of follies one could in the world of negotiations. He had underestimated his opponent and in doing so, had let you see something you certainly weren’t meant to.

Atreus was afraid . Which had to mean not everything had kept to his plan. You weren’t entirely sure what it was, but you did know how to find out.

You still had the upper hand.

And you needed to keep it.

To ensure success.

You couldn’t avoid or pretend any longer. If you were going to come out on top, you needed to face some fears of your own.

“Alright,” you said softly, to no one in particular. You’d been thinking during every dull meeting and script revisal of this moment. What you’d say, where you’d position yourself in the room, the set of your jaw and the exact tilt of your head.

But now that the moment had arrived, it fizzled around you like a pair of lungs trapped under the surface of the water, all out of air. This was not a negotiation of sides, there were no rules with this that you knew. And the party on the other end of the table, so to speak, would not care if you cut a threatening image, held firm in your tone and gave away nothing.

He would come regardless.

And so you sat, huddled on the bathroom floor and stared at the arching door frame, taking in the carved white molding. And you closed your eyes.

Kylo? you spoke into the dim sunset shine of the dying day. We need to talk.

The words echoed around in your skull, as though you were shouting down a tunnel, hearing them reverberate off the walls of this strange cavern inside your mind. And you felt, at the other end, a hum. An acknowledgement that rang back in answer from the other end. There was a feeling too, like fingers sifting through the phrase you’d tossed into the cave and finding among it what exactly you wished to talk about.

Understanding without any explanation.

And then something unreadable—the only word you could think of to describe the tone of the sigh that drifted in answer through the dark walls of your head. The same inaccessibility as the look that often adorned his face. The twitch just under his eye, the slight tightening of his jaw.

No response ever came, but you could sense the approach of something, like a shadow blocking out the light at the end of the tunnel as it traveled nearer—heard the sound of boots on tile growing closer until they were no longer only inside your head, but just outside the door.

You heard the sound of the knob slamming into the drywall as the door swung open with more force than was necessary. As though he’d been expecting something to block his path and was surprised to find, for once in his life, there was no resistance between the Commander and his goal.

“In here,” you called, before the question ever left his lips.

And then he stood before you, nearly taking up the entirety of the door frame and blocking your only route of escape. Though, this time, there was no sensation of walls closing in. No feeling of metal teeth biting into your leg. There was only the soft scent of ozone and shampoo and worn leather.

Kylo’s face was bare.

His lips, full and bitten red, were slightly parted with each breath and he was dressed in more casual clothes than you’d ever seen before. There was a similar blooming of color on his cheeks as though he’d run when you called. Still always clocked in black, but this time is a loose pair of linen slacks and shirt that gaped just a bit at the neck. Your favorite mole stood out more starkly against the pink skin and his eyes were wide and dark as he stared.

You knew then, with some supernatural certainty that this was exactly the expression he’d worn a few days before. When you’d come close to this moment with only the door stopping your palms from touching and were ripped away too quickly.

You were glad you hadn’t seen him then. You didn’t know how you’d have survived it, when you didn’t know how long you’d have to feel him look at you that way.

His brow furrowed almost imperceptibly at that, his fists clenching in that way he often did when you said things he particularly disliked. His eyes seemed to sit softer on his face, in a way you’d not noticed before. It looked strange on him. Not out of place or false as you had feared it might.

Just out of practice.

“What does it mean?” you asked, standing from the floor on creaking knees and taking a few steps closer. “I need you to tell me this time, no games.”

Kylo blinked and the look was gone, replaced with the familiar, blank look of displeasure. But you could tell, somehow, that he knew what you were talking about. That word, bond drifted softly in the space between you like dust in the setting starlight.

“So you do make a habit of it,” he huffed in response, retreating from the doorway and coming to rest on the edge of the bed, hands running through waves of hair until the frizz of it sat around his head like a halo.

A dark king with his crown.

A man, bowing under its weight.

“What?”

You frowned and followed him out of the bathroom, crossing your arms over your chest as you switched positions. Standing over him now as he glared. It was truly unfortunate how good he looked like that, staring up at you, dark lashes brushing his cheekbones when he blinked.

“Asking stupid questions.”

You bit your lip to keep your jaw from dropping and took a breath.

“I need to hear you say it,” you finally sighed, and prayed that he’d just play along for once. Just this once if nothing else. “This is important, please, sir.”

You could see the gears turning in his head, crooked teeth peaking out to bite unconsciously at his bottom lip, before he spoke again.

“It’s exactly as it seems,” he began in the same smooth, instructional tone he’d used before and shot you a threatening glance as though he felt your impulse to comment on his choice of words. “It’s a bond of two individuals, sometimes more, through the Force.”

“I’m getting the sense that it’s not actually that simple,” you prodded and were awarded a sharp, disembodied pinch to the swell of your thigh in retaliation.

Kylo elaborated while you licked your wound.

“It isn’t.”

When you met his gaze again you got the distinct impression the Commander would rather swallow his own tongue than continue saying any of this out loud.

I haven’t been saying anything out loud, came the response with a quirk of his brow. Neither have you.

There was a pause, then a muttered:

Idiot.

You blinked slowly. Feeling the way your lips had dried and stuck together with disuse and realized that Kylo’s as well, were still caught sorely between his front teeth. Never moving.

Hold out your hand , Kylo ‘spoke’ again and now that he’d pointed it out you weren’t sure exactly how you’d missed it. When exactly his voice had stopped feeling out of place in your head.

You compiled without resistance, reaching a hand out towards him as he sat up straighter on the mattress.

He lifted his own to his lips and you traced the movement with your eyes, feeling your breath go heavy in your chest as he took one finger of his glove between his teeth and jerked his chin until his palm was bare and reaching out for you, leather still caught in his mouth.

Your tongue was dry and tacky as you watched his fingertips slowly brush against yours. And it wasn’t quite a jolt that ran through you but the sensation was certainly strange and not that of simple skin against yours.

Or it was, but doubled somehow.

It grew stronger—the duality of the touch—as you closed your eyes and felt only with your hand the way he ran his fingers slowly over your palm.

Do you feel it?

The question came drifting into your mind as though you’d thought it yourself. Kylo’s fingers continued their soft mapping out of your palm, almost as mindlessly as he’d chewed the rough skin on his lips, while you contemplated the question.

If you focused, closed your eyes and tried to block out the room—imagine as though you were floating in empty space—it wasn’t just the odd sensation of touching and being touched doubled over again, but the feeling of something deeper, something shared and pulsing in your chest.

Yes, you answered and you felt a rush of warmth that followed.

And you realized that it wasn’t from you, but his pleasure at your response that flowed through this living thing that connected your chests.

There, he squeezed your hand lightly, that’s what it is.

Kylo sounded pleasantly surprised, like a teacher finally having a breakthrough with a particularly challenging student. You felt his amusement as he agreed with your observation.

It’s your own fault. You don’t usually catch on quite so fast .

You pulled your hand away and opened your eyes again, but the pulse remained. Like a second heartbeat only a moment after your own.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” you murmured, crossing your arms again and staring down at the empty space between the Commander's legs. It would be so easy to take a step into his reach. Maybe that was part of it too, how he seemed to be magnetized to you.

Kylo Ren was silent, eyes open but not meeting your gaze and in the quiet of the room, you heard his answer clearly in the silence that followed.

He didn’t know.

Probably no one—in the grand scheme of things—had one, singular answer for a question so large. But you had at least an idea about the why . You took two, slow steps to the bedside table and pulled open the little drawer, feeling the familiar cool black cover you'd hidden there. Kylo watched in confusion as you turned the notebook over in your hands, glancing at him cautiously, trying to gauge any sort of reaction.

But he remained as unreadable as always.

“What is this?” he asked, aloud again and you shivered as the depth of it filled the room.

“His plan, Atreus’,” you whispered, almost as if you might summon the man himself if you spoke too loudly. “All of it.”

Brown eyes widened and flicked from you to the book and back again. In the swiftly dying light you could just make out the way his pupils widened, black eating away at the iris. You watched as he flipped from page to page, devouring the words there in seconds as you took careful steps forward as if dragged closer by his gravity. As he neared the end, you stopped when both his thighs bracketed yours.

“How did you get this?” he asked and you faltered, frowning as you thought of how you could possibly explain the circumstances that led to the book coming into your possession.

Kylo’s expression could have turned a lesser man to stone as he rolled his eyes and spat out an exasperated, “Show me.”

You bit your tongue, thankful at the very least he hadn’t made another comment about you being a little slow on the uptake, and tried to replay the events in your mind. It flashed like film reel. Detached scenes of Lem's face, polished shoes clacking on the floor, wooden panels of the desk biting into your back and the leather warm in your hand.

“You were projecting?” Kylo asked in a tone which led you to believe that this might have been a bigger deal that you’d initially assumed.

“I suppose, but I’m really more concerned with the veritable psychopath who’s Force-glued our brains together to further his political coup,” you snipped, pulling the book from his hands and tossing it with a satisfying thump back down on the table.

Very suddenly you were no longer looking down, but craning your head back as the Commander stood, his bare hand coming down to rest against your throat, fingers digging ever so slightly into your skin.

“Listen to me for once in your life, officer,” Kylo Ren hissed through his teeth. “You cannot even begin to comprehend the gravity of the situation. This isn’t some political ploy, empires have fallen, whole worlds destroyed by bonds through the Force. This is light years beyond some spineless idiot trying to usurp my place.”

His grip on your throat grew tighter with each word, and you felt them reverberate like an echo in your head and as he spoke you felt something twist and roll and burn in your gut, licking flames up the back of your throat and in those eyes almost completely black, you saw reflected back at you a pit, dark as pitch.

Air wouldn't come now, the blood flow restricted to your brain as Kylo’s hand that nearly spanned your entire throat dug into the skin. You slipped a hand up around his wrist, not bothering to pull, knowing a fruitless fight when you saw one. Just holding as you spoke to him desperately.

So tell me, your words echoed through in the buzzing static in your head. Make me understand.

The grip on your throat loosed by a small degree and your vision began to return. The vein on his forehead was pulsing, his teeth bared, those eyes on you.

Whatever you know, you need to tell me, you weren’t above pleading. You tried to send across the pathway that connected your minds that night on the beach, how it had felt to tear at each other, how you both still bore the marks, how he’d said then too ‘you have no idea what’s at stake.’

No more secrets, Kylo.

“No,” he sighed, hands slipping from your throat to trace the line of a particularly deep scratch down the length of your shoulder blade. “There won’t ever be at the end of this.”

His voice was quiet, breathy as you felt echoing back to you your own voice, the spoken and felt words ‘I want you’ as the ocean waves crashed against the shore. You felt a conflict not your own, a growing dread in the pit of your being.

“You promised me,” you said, aloud now, voice hoarse as you looked up to meet his gaze, breathe his air, taste the blood and mint on his tongue. “You promised I wouldn’t die.”

His acknowledgement rang out, determined and sure in your veins. His hands that had ghosted their way down your back, settled at your waist, squeezed at the flesh that gave easily under his grasp.

“I need to know what we’re up against,” you murmured into the quickly dissipating space between your chests. Watching as the black fabric of his shirt shifted with every breath. “Don’t make a liar of yourself, Commander.”

He didn’t speak but you could feel the intent, almost hear the I can’t tell you, in his hands sliding up the hem of your top, in his breath ghosting over your throat.

“Then show me.”

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fic

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noodlecupcakeswritings · 8 months

Text

A Royal Affair - Chapter 5 (Kylo RenXOC)

The First Order is looking to expand its allies and Corellia is known for its great Starships and the royal family. Princess Cora Ardmore is less than thrilled about her future marriage to General Hux, and even less thrilled to have Kylo Ren as her temporary bodyguard.

AN: I just want to warn people that this is definitely a darker fic from me. Plus I do not hate General Hux at all regardless of how I’m portraying him in this fic, I love him but have some dark headcanons about him. I also want to thank @neeharlow and @kittyofalltrades for helping bringing this fic to life with our roleplay thread :D

Warnings: None, Perhaps a lil fluff if you squint really really hard.

Chapter 5

Kylo Ren

The week went on, every day I spent with Cora and her handmaidens. Whilst I made no effort to be friendly with any of them, I had taken the time to at least learn the names of her handmaidens. And Cora was doing her best to be polite and civil with me. The kinder she attempted to be, the more I didn’t want to be around her. This was a temporary arrangement; it wouldn’t benefit either of us to develop some kind of friendship. Even if the more time I spent with her, the more likeable I found her. Not that anything could come of it. Nor would I let it.

Cora was wearing a royal blue gown, the sleeves long but her shoulders bare. Thomasin had curled Cora’s hair today and left it down but added a thin gold headband to Cora’s long black locks. Even I had to admit, she looked pretty. Cora led us outside to the gardens; it was seemingly her favourite place to be, and I could understand that when the palace was teeming with stormtroopers and officers. She wanted somewhere seemingly untouched by The First Order. Thankfully, so far Hux had yet to really bother her as he was too busy gaining the trust of the planet’s politicians and higher-ups.

She led us inside the huge greenhouse, a wave of warm air washing over me. There were all sorts of flowers and plants inside, all in full bloom. Whilst I didn’t care for things like this, I had to admit there was beauty to it. Cora seemed relaxed in here, her shoulders no longer held high and tense. I had noticed over the past few days how to read her body language and her facial expressions. Most of the time inside the palace, she put up a façade, wanting to seem confident, elegant, and regal. Someone that demanded respect.

And yet in these small moments when it was just her handmaidens and I, she let her real self shine through. She let her guard down, allowed herself to be vulnerable and to speak freely. In these small moments, I even found her a little likeable. I suppose, after agreeing to keep the sun house a secret from Hux, I was one of the few she trusted to be herself around. And whilst we were on opposing sides, it made sense that she needed to trust me if I was going to be her bodyguard for the time being.

Cora went over to the nearest flowers, leaning down to inhale its sweet scent. Flora remained by the door, keeping a close, protective eye on Cora. Thomasin and Minthe headed further inside the greenhouse, making friendly conversation. Cora seemed to stop and admire each different plant and flower she came across. The longer this went on, the more I felt this was a waste of time. Snoke wouldn’t be happy about this and hopefully, he would ensure Hux didn’t reduce me to a bodyguard again.

“Did you know that flowers actually have meanings behind them?” Cora asked. “What?” I replied. “It was a tradition during balls and other events that people would communicate their feelings for each other using flowers.” My brow furrowed under my helmet, “that seems…pointless.” Cora’s smile faded slightly at how quickly I turned down her topic of conversation. It was like looking at a sad puppy and I felt a very small pang of guilt. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to indulge her…or at least pretend to. Letting out a sigh, I forced the next few words out of my mouth.

“What about those? What do they mean?” I asked, pointing at a cluster of small, delicate purple flowers. Cora’s gaze followed where I was pointing, and her smile grew again. “Asters are a symbol of love,” Cora replied. I wished I’d never asked. It angered me further that I, Kylo Ren, The Jedi Slayer, was being reduced to a bodyguard having to listen to this brat talk about flowers. Clenching my jaw, I continued to follow her through the greenhouse and pretend to listen to her explain the different meanings of flowers to me.

Now only a quarter of the way through the greenhouse, I couldn’t take it anymore. “All of this seems like pointless information,” I cut her off mid-sentence. Cora’s shoulders slumped at my words, her smile fading once more. This only made me more frustrated, she probably thought she could just bat her eyelashes at me, and I’d just give in to her. “When you previously mentioned princess lessons, I had thought they were teaching you things that would benefit you for the future. Like battle tactics, self-defence, and negotiation methods. Not flowers and embroidery,” I said matter-of-factly.

“Embroidery is not useless; it can actually be very useful for someone in my position.” “Is that so, princess? Please enlighten me on how embroidery is helping you right now.” Cora huffed softly but didn’t answer me, meaning either she didn’t have an answer, or it was a secret she wasn’t willing to share. She pressed further into the greenhouse, and I let her go. She was still within my eye line, and it was clear we both wanted a break from each other. The sooner Hux found a replacement for me, the better. I needed to get off this planet and as far away from her as possible.

Cora stopped at the fountain, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as if to calm herself down. When she reopened them, she walked over to a small box fixed on the wall and opened it. A few butterflies scattered, now flying around the greenhouse. Some of them landed on flowers, whilst others continued to stretch their wings. All of them were different colours with various patterns across their wings. Cora watched them with a sense of longing, likely wishing she could escape her own cage.

One of them landed on her finger, a large blue and black one. A smile spread across her face as the butterfly stayed put, seemingly comfortable with her presence. At that moment, she truly looked like a princess, so pure, dainty, and beautiful. It was moments like these that I was even more grateful that the helmet I wore hid my face. I could get away with looking at Cora as much as I wanted, and none of her handmaidens were the wiser. It was nice to see her smile for a change. My eyes raked over her form, unable to deny her beauty. Her long black hair looked softer than any silk, and a part of me wondered what it would be like to run my fingers through it. Snapping myself out of my thoughts, I hastily exited the greenhouse and waited outside.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that evening, I decided to leave Cora in the company of her handmaidens; I needed to just take a break from her. Hux would likely attempt to berate me for it, but at this point, I couldn’t care less. I just wanted a moment alone, considering I hadn’t had a single one since landing on this damned planet. It was dark in the palace gardens, and I knew I would be left alone out here. The palace itself had lights on in most of the rooms, the bottom floor had silhouettes of staff moving around. But my focus was on the third floor, more specifically on one of the balconies.

Cora stood on the balcony that was connected to her bedroom, her hands resting on the railing. She looked out into the distance, if she knew I was out here, she didn’t show any signs. Not that I believed she could see me in the darkness. Her shoulders shook gently, and her head bowed slightly, clearly, she was crying. I had to admit; I did pity her considering what would come from her marriage to Hux. She’d already lost so much in a short amount of time, her home, her personal guard, her mother, but most of all, her freedom.

“Cora!” Hux snapped, his voice distant but no less distinguishable. He joined her on the balcony, Cora quickly wiping her eyes to hide any signs of her weakness. He stood at her side, his mouth moving, but I was too far away to make out what he was saying. But judging by Cora’s body language, it wasn’t anything nice. Likely berating her about being out on the balcony without me. He probably thought she was going to throw herself off, but Cora wasn’t that desperate for escape. Yet.

He grabbed her wrist roughly and began to drag her back inside. The sight of him handling her so roughly made my fists clench hard enough that the leather strained. He didn’t even love her, let alone care for her, so it made no sense to me why Snoke was allowing this marriage to even go ahead. Snoke had to know that if the Corellians saw how poorly Hux treated their beloved princess that they would revolt and cause us further issues. Cora deserved better. She deserved to be happy and to be with a man who adored her, and who would keep her safe.

But I wasn’t that man. Nor could I be. And with my growing feelings for her, I knew it was best that I remove myself from the situation. Whilst I believed it was just a stupid crush, I knew that if those feelings developed further, they would do me no good. I had to return to The Supremacy, return to Snoke, and focus on my training. There was a fleeting thought about whether Cora would be safe without me, but I knew Flora would keep her safe for the time being.

Taglist: @jana-banana-fana, @kittyofalltrades, @sweetfictionalworld

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kylobith · 4 months

Text

The Inner Battle - Prologue

Outer space bathes in its eternal stillness, its stars dispersed in the infinite black horizon coruscating like a billion diamonds. Amongst them, the numerous planets of the Outer Rim territories follow their natural course. Moons orbit them as they rotate in their everlasting cycle, flaunting their landscapes the way a monarch would flaunt their jewels, proud and magnificent. All the din from the cities is deadened by the distance and the unshakeable peace of the great unknown.

In the Gaulus sector, in the middle of its own system, a brownish planet named Ryloth shines brighter than its sisters. Clouds embrace the sky, hovering over the valleys and jungles visible even from afar, overshadowing the cities of the planet. Trees peek out through the mist, green and flamboyant, forming a belt around the enormous sphere.

A starship emerges in its vicinity with a whir, heading towards it. The old blue Interceptor pierces through Ryloth's atmosphere, flying straight to the canyons outside Kala'uun. It comes to a standstill and lowers above one of them, beside which stand a lonely house and its hangar. A native creature rushes up to it, watching it land on the edge of the cave. As soon as the canopy rises, the silhouette of a tall woman jumps out of the cockpit.

Teebasha Varn removes her pilot helmet and tosses it on her seat. Her braided bun stays in place despite her swift movement, while two thin brown braids come to dangle before her ears, their ends resting on her collar bones. Slipping the strap of her backpack across her shoulder, her dark brown eyes scan the landscape around her. She searches for her friend, who would always greet her whenever she would come back from a mission. Discerning his shape from the corner of her eyes, she jumps off the wing of her ship and runs up to the green Twi'lek to pull him in a clasp.

"Kassurra, Natelo'or," Teebasha greets him in Ryl with a pat on the back. As she feels the lekku — the tentacles protruding from his skull — tickling her fingers, a grin draws itself upon her face. "I'm sorry I took so long to come back. The mission was harder than I expected."

"I was worried you got into trouble," Natelo'or admits, pulling away without taking his hands off her. "You never know with those smugglers."

"I should've tried to contact you, sorry. Anyway, I'm here now. I must pick the next mission and I've got so many notices to catch up on. An entire pile on my desk."

"Then take your time. Don't forget to rest. I brought you a whole meal earlier. You won't have to buy anything in the city."

With a smile, Teebasha hugs her friend again. Natelo'or hands her a puck — she recognises the shape and the colour of the device in an instant. Another wanted notice.

"Someone from the Guild came to deliver this."

If you want to read more, the rest of the chapter is available on Ao3

Tags: @emmanuellececchi (since you said you'd be tempted to read my Star Wars sequel story hehe)

#Kylo Ren #Ben Solo #Kylo Ren/Ben Solo #Star Wars #Star Wars sequels #Kylo Ren fanfiction #Kylo Ren fanfic #Kylo Ren fic #OC #Kylo Ren x OC #OC Bounty Hunter #The Inner Battle #Chapter 1

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aurora-starwars · 1 year

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Can you do one of the reader being with Kylo and she wanted him to react to the MrBallen podcast of the Bells Canyon story and so he does and she gets to see his reaction to it in the end?

Fear Is The Path To The Dark Side, Unless You're Already There

Pairing: Kylo Ren x fem!reader

Summary: Kylo Ren and reader listen to a scary story that reader loves

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: scary stories?

A/n: So sorry for being so late! 😭😭😭😭Anyway, thank you for requesting, this was definitely my most unique one yet. I have never heard of his podcast before and they raddled me as I listened to it in the dark of night. Please ignore if I got any of the story wrong. Regardless, I hope you like it! Enjoy! <33333

Masterlist

“Have you heard of the Ball’s Canyon audio file?”

This question would have been weird to most, but to Kylo Ren, bizarre questions like that came often. Always from the mouth of the girl he wished would never leave his side, even if sticking with her meant he often had strange questions thrown at him.

“No,” Kylo Ren started. “I have not heard that story. Why do you ask.”

His words were as monotone as he could get them while in [Name]’s presence. No matter where they were, [Name]’s voice was always a breath of fresh air, one that lifts his spirits.

“Well, I was hoping that you would listen to it with me.” [Name] smiled, the mischief in her eyes masked by faux innocence.

Kylo Ren knew better; it wasn’t often that her questions had innocent intentions. This could only leave him to wonder, what exactly was [Name] showing him. After a mumble of agreement from Kylo, [Name]’s face lit up for a beat before she regained her composure. Hurriedly, [Name] ran around the room looking for the nearest holopad. Once she found it, she made her back to where Kylo was sitting, grinning wickedly to herself, hoping that Kylo couldn’t see. He could.

“What am I listening to?” Kylo asked, watching [Name] set up the audio file.

“You’ll see.”

The file opened to a man wearing a cape with his hood over his face. Kylo glanced over at [Name] as if she would answer his questions, only to find the eager girl entranced by the man speaking. The man before them began the story, setting the scene in the depths of a dense forest far from any civilization, with one man going on a camping trip. The man was supposedly well trained, and had many skills in surviving in the wilderness. Kylo almost scuffed at that, he knew how to manage on his own.

[Name], as if hearing his thoughts, throw a glare at him demanding he keep listening.

At this point, the man, Matt, had gone out about a day travel into the forest and had set up camp for the night. After falling asleep swiftly, Matt was woken again in the middle of the night to rustling in the bushes. Thinking it was animals, like he has experienced time and time again, he unzipped his tent a smidge, but only enough to peek through. Only as he looked around, he found a man squat with his hands on his knees before his fire pit shuffling around. All of a sudden the strange man made eye contact with Matt through the small gap in the tent, eyes widening before running back into the woods. Running out of his tent, Matt used his flashlight to see if he could see the man or any evidence of his camp site. After all, it was not uncommon for others to camp, it was just wild to see another man in the wild like this, so far from anything, practically in the middle of nowhere. When he didn’t find any evidence of the man or his campsite, he headed back to his campsite, where he slept restlessly.

“Wait, who was that man?” Kylo grumbled shortly, only difference on his face from the beginning was a small crease between his eyebrows.

Making eye contact with Kylo, [Name] grinned once again before resuming her attention on the speaker in front of her. Kylo was left to roll his eyes half-heartedly, not understanding the point of the story so far.

Waking the next morning Matt in the story packed his gear and set out further into the forest, hoping to leave the strange man behind. After a two day’s hike, he set up camp again and began a fire. Cooking food, Matt heard more rustling of bushes behind him. Writing it off as animals, he continued his cooking on the fire. When he heard more rustling from behind him, he could not ignore it any longer. There was something behind him moving.

He stood up, turned around, and stood still, listening carefully. He expected maybe a deer to come out of the woods, but instead he hears a man’s voice come out of the darkness that says, “Do you know how to get to Bell’s Canyon.” His hearts starts racing, and even though he can’t see him, he knows that this man is the same guy he saw two days ago.

Kylo moves to pause the holopad, looking at [Name] with an unfamiliar look. If [Name] didn’t know better, she would have thought that he was scared. But she knew better… Right?

“How could he be anyone else? That man surely followed him on his hike.” Kylo pointed out, his knee bouncing up and down beside [Name].

“Maybe, we will only know if we continue,” [Name] smirked, having already known the entirety of the story.

Kylo Ren only shook his head.

“I wish they would tell me who he is…” He grumbled.

“Can we keep listening?” [Name] deadpanned, tilting her head to the side.

“Hold on,” His hand searched for [Name]’s and when he found the familiar soft digits of his lover, he grasped her hand, his hold firm.

“Alright,” Kylo took a deep breath in. “You may resume it.”

[Name] only smiled before pushing a small button on the pad. Soon enough the man in front of them was speaking again, waving his hands around animatedly.

Thinking to himself, “What does this guy want? I have spent the last two days hiking in random directions for 24 klicks, and he must have followed me.” Matt, not knowing what else to do, tells the man that he doesn’t know where Bells Canyon is. Then there is silence, Matt hopes that the man does not come in the light and just goes away. And another part is hoping that this is a different person, and maybe he just got lost and is looking for a place called Bells Canyon. The voice rings again, asking the same question with more force, “Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon?”

Kylo’s grip on [Name]’s hand tightens, his breathing speeding up as [Name] can only imagine his heart is too. Leaning closer to Kylo, [Name] attempts to comfort the man with her presence. Giving Kylo’s hand a quick squeeze as to say, “I am right here.” Kylo smiles at [Name], his breaths evening out but his grip on [Name] doesn’t falter.

Matt knew that there was something wrong, this was not some hiker that got lost and now he has to do something to take control of the situation. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed his flashlight and in one motion shined the light in the direction of the voice. He found the guy from two days ago peeking out from behind a tree looking right in Matt’s direction; he was hiding from him. When the light hit him, the man barked at Matt to the shine the light away from him. Matt lowered his light without hesitation. Matt now knows that it is the same guy who has been following him for two days. For several minutes, the two stood still making no sound.

Until this guy broke the silence again, he had somehow moved soundlessly closer to Matt, and he asked him the same question again, “Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon?” The voice was so close that Matt, afraid, raised his flashlight at the man, who was standing only a few feet away from him. The strange guy got scared just like the first night, and ran off again into the woods. Matt, not knowing better, ran after him. But once he was far enough out that he was worried he would get lost, there was no sight of the man he was once chasing. Matt wasn’t sure how he got away but he made it back to the campsite. He began thinking to himself of what he was going to do. He didn’t tell anyone where he is, was at least three days away from his ship and he didn’t have any holopad or comms to communicate with anyone while he is in the complete middle of nowhere.

Kylo ran his spare hand through his hair, and huffed, his body more tense than [Name]’s ever seen it.

So, Matt just stood in the middle of the campsite with his knife in hand for hours, expecting that the man would come back or speak to him from somewhere in the darkness. It was absolutely horrifying. Finally, at about 3 in the morning, he was so tired that he just had to go to bed.

After a restless couple of hours, he jumped up when the sun came out and packed up all of his stuff and began practically running back to his ship. When the sun started to go down again, he knew that he would have to set up camp again. After setting it up, he was so tired from running all day and mentally exhausted from the experience that he got in his tent and fell asleep almost instantly.

But several hours later her woke up to the sounds of somebody walking around his tent. And he knew it had to be this guy that was following him. Sitting up and clutching his knife, he sat for hours and hours while this guy just walked around his campsite. Around 4 or 5 in the morning, the man ran off again. When the sun finally came up, he jumped up to pack up his stuff and literally sprinted in the direction of his ship, hoping that he would not have to make camp another time before he made it back. And as the sun was setting, he knew he was not going to make it to his ship before the sun went down, it was just too far away. So when it became too dark to move, he set up his tent again and climbed inside with his knife in hand. Sitting in his tent with his knife, he waited, knowing that this guy was somewhere out there. But after a few hours of not hearing anything, Matt started to wonder if the guy was actually out there. Maybe he was not following Matt anymore. So he lied down, hoping to get some sleep when a voice came from somewhere out in the woods, “Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon?”

Kylo removed his hand from [Name]’s in order to pull her in beside him. Holding her close with one arm and the other hand was free to hold [Name]’s. [Name] could only smirk to herself, maybe the famous dark and brooding Kylo Ren was scared.

Matt immediately sat up, his heart beating so fast that he thought he was going to have a heart-attack. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he just sat there holding his knife. The guy started running past his campsite making animal sounds, stopping periodically to moan and grunt, kicking up leaves and then would run past his campsite again. Over and over again, until the sun finally came up and he ran off into the forest again. Matt waste no time, running back to his ship. Where when he knew he was safe, he cried tears of actually joy, before leaving the planet for good.

The man finished, beginning to thank people for listening when [Name] turned the holo off.

“So, what did you think?”

Kylo sat still for a moment, staring blankly at the bright walls around him. He thanked the force for the light being so bright in this room. After a moment, Kylo came back to his senses, reminding himself that [Name] was still curled into his side. Kylo regained his composure and cleared his throat.

“Well, that was definitely something.” Kylo spoke avoiding eye contact with [Name].

[Name] noticed a waiver in his voice which only made her smile.

“Not scared, are you?” [Name] smirked, she was trying to get under his skin.

Kylo tried and failed to clear his throat once again, “No. How could I, Kylo Ren, be scared? And of a story about the forest? Absolutely not.”

His usual monotone voice struggled to stay even, only causing [Name]’s grin to widen.

“Whatever you say, my love.”

Kylo might not be able to see it, but [Name] knew that that story had shaken him. He might not want to sleep alone that night.

Sure enough, Kylo began complaining in the middle of the night about how [Name] was too far away and that he ‘couldn’t protect her from random men’ from the foot she was away from him.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! Again, to @inner-sparkle-inner-writings, I am so sorry for it being out so late. And I hope this lived up to your expectations, or was at least close to what you wanted! <3333333

Master-list

All creds of the story go to the MrBallen Podcast. That is where I got the scary story from. Episode #37--"Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon?"

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littlebugs · 10 months

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How are you??

Can I request a Kylo Ren x reader where the reader is Kylo’s soulmate and Rey’s older sister and the reader is a very powerful force user and the reader, Kylo and Rey all fight together to defeat the stormtroopers who want to kill Kylo so the reader uses the force but is overwhelmed by it that the reader releases a massive energy blast and passes out but Kylo catches the reader in his arms and carries the reader back to his shop and Rey gets worried about her older sister and Kylo calms Rey down and they all go to the resistance base and Finn, Poe notices that Kylo is carrying the reader in his arms but asks Kylo if the reader is ok and gently places the reader on his bed and waits for the reader to wake up.

meet me on the battlefield

warnings: injury, fluff, light language, fem presenting reader (she/her pronouns), NOT CANON

i want to make our reader Rey's half-sister (fathers side) so she still has palpatine blood, but you can imagine the other half to be any race/ethnicity) lmk if i missed anything (:

a/n: ok so i switched it up a tiny bit because you said kylo and not ben and i got confused 🤨 summary: reader is a rebel like Rey, but Kylo has a force connection with her. they're fighting in battle against the First Order but reader uses the energy blast, and kylo senses (?) it. anyways he brings her back to the rebel base and everyone's like wtf. etc.

past

You hated him. You really hated him. But he grew on you.

The first time you had seen him it was a shock. You were getting ready for bed, in the Resistance base in the middle of a godforsaken rain forest (you were thinking you would much rather be on a ship,) and he had appeared.

"For Kriffs sake, did Rey steal my lightsaber again?" You cursed as you shuffled through a pile of clothes in the corner of your tiny room on the Resistance base. You sneezed and stumble into a second pile of clothed as some of the forest air entered you lungs. "Allergies" you cursed as you had shut the small window in the corner of your already stuffy room. Wiping your nose on your arm, you just started to turn around but were met by a familiar, and terrifying, helmet.

"Oh no." You whimpered and backed away, heading to the door. "Can you see my surroundings? I can't see yours." A voice far to sinister to be General Leia's son said. Although you could, in fact, see his surroundings, (which happened to be his bedchamber) you say nothing. Until he called your name. "How- how do you know that?" You shudder, wishing you had your saber. "I can feel you through the force. The Dark Side of the force." He countered, still standing ominously in the corner of your room.

"Where are you?" he demanded, modulated voice sending shivers down your spine. "I-I cant tell you..." you uttered, as the walls seemed to blur and shift around you with every step Kylo took forwards, coming closer to you by the second.

"SHIT" you screamed as the door banged open, revealing Poe standing in his flying uniform. "You're jumpy today" Poe laughed as he looked at your terrified expression. You quickly turned back to look at the spot where Kylo had been mere seconds ago, absolutely bewildered, seeing nothing.

After that, he visited you.

every. single. night

It started off with him scaring you as you were preparing for bed. Then after a shower. Then before a shower (that one was particularly uncomfortable.) After some time, Kylo just became part of your nightly routine, like brushing you teeth. He popped up out of nowhere, scaring the living daylights out of you, sometimes not talking, sometimes ranting out the First Order or some General named Hux. But there was simply one constant that was never broken. The mask stayed on.

Your daily live stayed the same. Well, mostly.

present

The First Order was attacking the base. THE First Oder was attacking the base. This could put everything into jeopardy. The lives of everyone here. The lives of your allies across the galaxy. Your friends. But the only thing you could think about was him. Kylo. You shouldn't. You really shouldn't. But as you strap your saber onto your belt, and prepare you multiple blasters, you can't help it.

*What if I get to see his face?*

But you can't be thinking that. "I'm not a foolish schoolgirl anymore" you mumble under your breath, unaware of the presence behind you. "Oh really?" A modulated voice interrupts. "For Kriffs sake I told you to stop sneaking up on me Kylo." You turn, annoyed.

"We're laying siege to your camp." He muses, tossing his sabers hilt from hand to hand. You groan. "No need to talk like a medieval war-lord Ren." He laughs. He laughs like he isn't about to probably slaughter half the people you know.

"Meet me on the battlefield."

The fighting goes by in a blur. The masks make it easier to destroy the stormtroopers. It makes them less human. You've probably been engaged in open combat for the better part of an hour. You consider retreating from the front lines back to the base. There's no way the meager army can hold the Order back for much longer, and the last evacuation ships are about to fly.

Until. Until you see Rey, at the end of a blaster. No running away now, you think, as you sprint towards your half-sister. But it's too late. Well almost. You're too far. So instead of physically fighting the trooper, you reach into the force. You've scarcely been trained, but you manage to knock the blaster as well as trooper to the ground. And consequently pass out.

Unaware to you, Kylo feels it. He feels you use the force, and then, just stop. He freaks out. He all but pushes Hux to the side to exit the command center. "Bloody hell Ren! Can you just-" Hux starts before Kylo pulls out his Saber. He basically rips the door off its hinges, and readies himself. As he enters the hangar he hopes nothing happens to you. As he slides inside his Silencer he hopes he's not too late.

He races to the planet at full speed, and upon arrival, stomps out onto the battlefield, combat boots squelching through the blood and earth, cape flowing regally, helmet intact.

Resistance fighters call into base warning General Leia, and Han, along with Poe, Finn, Rey (still recovering from a near death experience,) and an assortment of others trying to take all valuables out of the base.

You're passed out on the battlefield. Well, sort of. You're dimly aware of some tall, masked figure picking you up, and storming into what looks like the base. "Wait a damn minute," you think as you jerk back into consciousness. "KYLO?" you scream, squirming in his arms. "Shut up" The modulated voice, commands, and you obey, simply happy you haven't been killed yet. He marches through the rebel camp, all but deserted, to where you direct him too. Which happens to be where his mother is.

He kicks open the door, only to be greeted by inhabitants frozen in shock. "My son..." Leia starts, but is cut off by him. "She's injured. I'm putting her here." He booms, voice much to loud for your ears. "You've got some nerve walking in here, mask boy" Poe cautions, obviously angry but very confused. "Shut the fuck up." Kylo interjects, setting you down. Then he takes off his mask. He takes of his mask.

He's..... beautiful. Luscious hair, aquiline nose, brown eyes and full lips. Reactions around the room vary. "How old are you, 25?" Finn shrieks. A withering stare from Kylo shuts him up. "So... son-" Han begins, "Don't call me son." Kylo immediately shoots back at him. "Are we going to uh.. call off this attack, yeah?" Han questions hopefully. "No." Kylo states, unbothered, focusing on starting to bandage your wounded arm. You're partially conscious, but aware of the bickering room. And Kylo's face. "Are you guys, like, a thing?" Poe asks reluctantly, speaking on behalf of the whole room. Kylo doesn't respond. He doesn't know what you are.

After assuring you're safe, he leaves without a word, returning to his Silencer, and then to the Finalizer.

He knows, one day, he'll have you.

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren fluff #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fic #star wars

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oh-for-fic-sake-library · 1 year

Text

A Stuffy Called Geb Chapter 1

Masterlist

Summary: It was your turn to help train Matt , and as usual the kylo fanatic was quick to bring up the magnificent supre leader, who you actuallyheld in high regard yourself. Bonding ensues, but you might have gotten a little too comfortable with Matt and over shared some personal embarrassing details about yourself. But it could be worse? I mean it wasnt like the leader of the first order was going to find out or anything... Right?

Warnings : DDLG, Age play, Anxiety, fluff, homour, swearing, closet little trying to make a friend.

A/N: so i cant get the idea of daddydom!kylo finding a little hidden within his ranks. I love ddlg dynamics and really do think kylo has a soft nurturing side thag in canon he hates. But what if he had an outlet? One single person he could fawn over to get it out of his system so he can be a hard ass on everyone else?

Wordcount: fairly short for me.

You entered the break room, cautiously crossing the space making sure to wav out of everyones way lest you become the butt of another joke. You managed to arrive at your destination; the caf pot. You moved quickly grabbing a fresh cup silently praying there was some actual caf left on the pot, and that it was still warm. Luck had to be on your side as the pot poured hot fresh caf into you cup.

"Oh thank the stars for that" you muttered before moving to place the pot back down. Only to pause when another cup emerged from behinde you. You yelped slightly, not hearing anyone creep up beside you, and nervously turned hoping it wasnt one of the bullies you unfortunately had to work with. But you were pleasantly surprized. Instead of a Jake or his little posse of ass kissers and assholes there stood the tall handsome yet clumsy newbie called Matt.

You flicked your gaze up faltering slightly. You drew a deep breath. Oh yeah you had Matt with you today. Not that you minded, you just werent the most social. But then again years of torment and bullying by your peers would do that to you. You calmed yourself somewhat and craned your head up higher and higher realising once again just how over whelmingly big he was. He was huge, in every aspect. You smiled up at him trying desperately not to screw up a chance to possibly make a freind.

"M-morning Matt. Caf?" You offered whilst busying yourself popping three sugars into your caf and stirring. Matt eyed you carefully before nodding quietly.

"Morning, yes caf please." he answered in his usuall awkward yet slightly demanding tone. But his eyes locked onto you, staring at you intently, a slight quirk to his brow. You smiled anxiously youd worked with Matt only once and that was when youd found him abandoned by karen in the corridor and decided to help him fix the little blunder he'd made on the calcinator.

"So i dont know if youve been told already, but today your with me" you anounced quickly pouring out a cup for him and handed it over trying to ignore anxiety building inside of you. You really didnt want to mess up and have another colleague laughing at you behinde your back. You had to act normal. Just be calm and normal.

"Oh good, i want to avoid Karen" he added following you away from the caf pot to let the others get to it. You flicked your gaze around noticing the others were sending you side eyes and smirking at you. Clearly they were waiting for you to make a fool of yourself as usual.

"We all do. Shes err, difficult. Well we dont have much for today but you sir are a lucky duck~ we are working in the rear star destroyer dock today and the finaliser is finally scheduled to dock there. Isnt that cool? Were gonna see her come in" you babbled nerves getting the better of you. He always made you nervous, he wasnt like he seemed? He had a strange aura. Powerful, stern, authoritative. He felt like a; no. No way. There was no way Matt was one of those. But god he was definitely huge enough to make you feel little. Fuck. That was a dangerous thought, now all your going to imagine is how easily he could man handle you if you were a brat. Shit.

"You like the finaliser?" Matt asked following you out of the break room grabbing your tool bags from the small cubbies by the door. You looked down and shrugged embarrassed by the way he said it. He'd noticed your odd enthusiasm.

"Yeah, sorry i get too excited. Ever since i was a kid I'd wanted to see a star destroyer." You uttered twiddling your fingers in the strap of your bag.

"So do you like star destroyers in general or just the finaliser?" He asked this time in a less abraisive tone. He sounded careful, gentle. Nothing like the matt youd seen before now. You looked at him confused by the change but offered him a small smile.

"All of them i suppose, growing up stories of the old empires fleet and stuff? I could never get my head around them. Their just so huge and stuff; even now i get excited just seeing them" you explained slightly dejected knowing youd made a fool of yourself. But still a little thrown off by his change in demeanour. He seemed to back off? The stern prickly aura tht surrounded him mellowed out. It was nice, like he was reassuring you in some unspoken way.

You couldnt help glancing up at him nervously, trying to figure him out. If anything he didnt seem to mind your small outburst, he just carried on wth the conversation as you both walked the halls towards the elevators like getting over excited was a normal thing in the first order. You flicked your gaze away quickly before he caught you staring. Fuck. He didnt look like he thought less of you for getting all giddy over something so small.

"I understand that. They are awe inspiring, an engineering marvel" Matt's lip quirked ever so slightly when you perked up again beaming up at him bouncing back from your self doubt quickly.

"Exactly! We might even see her dock if we're lucky; did you know its the first time shes coming in to dock since the supremacy? Shes never been on the supernova before" you chirped happily scanning your pass at the faster maintenance elevator.

"Soo you take this rag and slip it over the clamp and just pop it here... no this way, remember righty tighty... your right; thats it. Then that way the pannel cant spring back and catch your fingers" you explained leaning over to hold the spring loaded sliding door back out of matts way so he could place a clamp in front of it.

"Huh... Thats alot easier" he uttered with a grunt as you released the hatch door letting it meet the clamp and stay open without risking any fingers.

"I take it the others didnt show you that trick?" You sighed with a frown as he marveled at the now secure hatch door for a second.

"No, i caught my fingers alot see?" He growled, one eye twitching in irritation before holding his hands up showing you a few nasty bruises and small cuts where these finger death traps had clearly pinched him. You winced hissing through your teeth

"They are all bullies, dont let it get to you. They think their hot shit because they work on the supernova now. But like its not that hard you know? Its a big ship they need tonnes of us here. Personally I'd rather work on her" you reassured him with a light pat on the arm before flicking your eyes to the huge ship that was docked no more then forty feet from you.

You shook your head, shoving the longing from your mind before peeking into the hatch useing your torch to dig around for the problem.

"Ah. Jakes handy work." You uttered spying the issue. A lower voltage cable haphazardly bridging two connectors. Luckily you had some of the correct sized wire spare this was a common issue.

"Hmm? How do you know that?" He asked with a frown not likeing the way you didnt sound surprized by a mistake. Like this was a regular occurrence.

"He always uses this for everything. This sector needs thicker cables for the higher voltages going to the star destroyers. He doesnt like carrying it down here because... well im not sure why to be honest" you explained moving over to show him the problem wire. You ended with a shrug but pulled back from the hatch to dig around in your bag.

"All we have to do it replace this small section and it shouldnt short anymore, lets get to it" You said over your shoulder as you began pulling things out of your bag to get to the replacement wire.

"Now see these wires are already stripped? We just smoosh them together and then twist, it makes the most reliable connection... good job! Now we tape it" you instructed watching Matt work the electrical components and secure it in place. Luckily Matt had picked up alot on the job and had not only disconnected the useless wire, but replaced the connecters either end just to make sure everything worked.

"So why are the others so nasty to you?" He asked out of the blue as he tightened the two screws securing the plastic safety cover on the open wires. You stuttered at him before shaking your head deciding to pretend you didnt know what he was talking about. But he sat up fixing you with a single look making you feel like a kid caught in a lie.

"The others, they avoid you unless they are tormenting you. Why? You seem... competent and pretty harmless, actually nice" he pried again this time not giving you any room to deny or deflect. you sighed defeated, slumping on the spot feeling pretty pathetic.

"You noticed that? Well they are bullies" he frowned at that it was the second time youd called them that. This time he was determined to get to the bottom of it,his eyes grew colder. You shuddered. This man? There really was something about him. Something completely feral yet contained? He just had something dangerous about him. But not in a 'im big and we both know i could crush you' way. It was? Darker, refined, pronounced. Honed.

"But why?" He coaxed again, his voice growing sharper. You got the distinct feeling he wasnt used to asking a second time. And most certainly never had to repeat himself a third time.

You swallowed dryly feeling a tense curiosity grow between you both. He wasnt going to drop this, you might aswell tell him so he can laugh at you and be done with it.

"A few things, as you noticed i tend to get excited quickly, sometimes i say things without thinking? They also know about my past failures... And well they found out about my hobby and i became a joke" you trailed off hoping he'd get the hint from your vague answers and leave the conversation there. But he didnt instead he seemed to perk up his gaze intensified.

"Hobby? Not many people still have hobbies in the first order?"

"I know its sad right? Just because we work here doesnt mean we gotta be a bunch of faceless boring old farts" you covered your mouth quickly but the words hd already escaped. Fuck, why are you like this? The one time you could really use a thought to mouth filter it failed again.

"So whats your hobby?" You did a double take before frowing confused. Why did he care?

"I err well i make clothes for dolls and stuff" you mumbled, mixing your words a little bit. Some part of you still waring you this was a bd idea nd he was just going to make fun of you for it. The other more submissive part reasoning he wasnt the type to be refused.

"Dolls?" you cringed at his tone, he didnt sound creeped out, or as if he was about to laugh in your face but he sounded off? Strained? As if he'd been anticipating something like that but had hoped youd say something different.

"Yeah it started when i was a kid... When the first order took over my home planet the the job market crashed especially when the first order began conscripting kids" you paused for a moment gauging his reaction before deciding you should elaborate more.

"There wasnt many options for anyone i got conscripted but I failed the physicals and at the time couldnt read so failed the IQ tests. But my reaction time was quick so they wanted to train me as a pilot but i got terrible motion sickness. In the end they said i was useless and dumped me back home. I failed to be worthy of any resources" you recounted trying your best not to sound pathetic or depressed. But honestly being dumped back home for being useless really did a number on your self esteem for a good few years.

"The only other careers i could try once home were prostitution, serving girl, seamstress or try to abandon the planet and join the resistance. I became a seamstress because it meant i could learn to read patterns and stuff. Luckily because of my small hands i was ideal for making clothes for infants and smaller races" you added proud of your achievements. Although they were small you had done it all by yourself, no schooling or first order academies. Just you in your tiny bunk studying at night.

"But how do you get from illiterate seamstress to first order engineer?" Surprisingly the question didnt sting, nor was it harsh. He seemed invested in hearing how you actually ended up here. It was flattering in a way.

"Oh i had to learn to read as part of my apprenticeship; for patterns and stuff then i learned how to fix the machinery in the warehouses, i was the best person for the job because again small hands" you giggled raising your smaller then average hands and wiggled your fingers at him.

"I could reach where others couldnt when the sewing and press machines died. Then the first order came back to the planet looking for those with mechanical skills, they were desperate. We were taken to the supernova in its early days; just after snoke died and the commander becme supreme leader. I was trained up to keep things running smoothly while the more senoir engineers were sent to the more technical sectors" you ended your tale there wasnt much to say after that, youd gone through training and been assigned to your sector.

You moved to the open hatch and began loosening the clamp prompting matt to catch the door and let it slide shut without capturing your fingers.

"And why did the others laugh at you? I mean you just make clothes?" He pried not letting you escape his initial question.

"Yeah... its everything really? They already think Im too childish and get mysel upset or excited easily. Then they found out about Geb." You grunted, cursing yourself for letting Gebs name slip through knowing that this was going to be the point he began to ridicule you.

"Geb?" You nodded without looking up at him while making yourself busy by collecting your toold and playing your own game of tetris tryingnto fit everything neetly back into your bag

"Yes he is... he's a small bear stuffy, i brought him with me to remind me of home and i make all my outfits for him and dress him up. I made him little first order uniforms and tropper armour and stuff."

"You dress him up in uniform?" He asked his face breaking out into a grin. Though you couldnt tell if he was trying not to laugh or not.

"Yeah but not just officers and stuff; hey you like the supreme leader right? I did him" you changed the topic quickly, hopeing bringing up the man would send Matt into a kylo ren ted talk and get yourself out of the metaphorical hot seat.

"You made geb a kylo ren uniform?" He reiterated slowly as if needing to say it to let it sink in. You eyed him curiously waiting to see if he was offended on the commanders behalf or not. But when he finally chuckled you relaxed before gushing over the small bear you loved.

"Yeah i even did a little light saber too and and his helmet is removable and a little hood on his cloak oh oh and he has his little belt but the best part is his little fluffy ears poke out through his mask and stuff he is so cute, Geb's lived in it since i made it" you cooed letting yourself getting carried away explaining the little outfit youd spent almost a week creating. Matt beamed at you nodding along encouraging you, enjoying the show of pure innocent adoration. But stunned you into silence as he cut through all the talk with one single question.

"You think kylo ren's cute?"

You sputtered quickly glowing red as the huge man chuckled down at you almost cooing sweetly in a very un-matt way. Clearly something about all this had tickled him pink. He looked pretty smug actually. Good lord you hope he wasnt really freinds with the big man, youd die if any of this got back to him.

"Wha; err no. I err i dont err well maybe? I've never seen him in person; not close up anyway but i? I suppose he's probably cute; handsome? I dont think he'd like the word cute but handsome is good i suppose? But I meant Geb is cute... his fluffy little ears poke out the top of his kylo mask" you began scratching at your head lightly, trying to figure out how to get out of this with at least a shred of dignity. If that was even possible. It took your around three seconds to start talking yourself in circles nervously, your thoughts warning you not to insult your beloved leader 1. Incase matt lost his cool about it like he did at lunch the other day and 2. Well if matt was close to the kylo? Youd rather the leader of the first order knew you thought he was hot instead of cute.

"What do you think about kylo ren? You must like him to make an outfit for Geb" ah theres the matt you know and love. Thank god you thought youd lost him for a second there.

"Well yeah. I think he is a good leader, hes a smart tactician and skilled. Hes an astounding pilot and a frightening warrior;"

"You think he's frightening?" You frowned at the indignation in matts tone, the way he tensed and became clearly aggravated made you falter, why was he offended?

"Well dont you? He's so soo big, but then again so are you so you probably dont think he is scary; but to me your both soo huge!" You questioned blinking up at him curiously. Wasnt Matt scared of the supreme leader? Didnt he hear all the stories? You quickly grew uneasy with the mans simmering stare and tried to diffuse the situation by making a little comparrison between him and kylos impossible hieghts waving your hand at him animatedly. He finally cracked a smirk before tipping his head to the side .

"Your scared of my size?" He teased with a chuckle.

"No, i mean i was at first but now im not. You wont hurt me. But Kylo might if i annoy him and well most people think im annoying. But he is really scary he's stupid strong and people say he gets angry super quick and it just... he is really scary to me. i mean people chuckle about the way he says he is going to surpass darth vader but i think he already has in his own way" your words continued, thoughts and opinions on the commander that youd never shared with anyone pouring from you. You werent a fangirl but you did understand alot more of the subtleties that whent hand in hand with the commander and his abilities.

"You do? How?" Matt was quick to ask, he seemed eager to hear everything you had to say. As if he were glad someone else shared his love of the commander.

"His saber. Its all erratic and static-y, people can laugh about it. But that just shows they have no clue to what it takes to do something like that. That kyber crystal? Its gotta be cracked or something." You explained letting your theory out. Youd never really had anyone to explain this too before. It was actually nice to talk about so ething other than work a.nd food for a change

"How do you know about kyber?" You finched back at the sudden cold demanding tone. Warning? Threat? No, something else. Defensive. but your not sure why?

"I grew up on stories of the old empire. My grandpa was an inquisitor, i know the red sabers are made with bloodied angry kybers" you shrugged trying to play off the uneasy feelings matt gve you.

"You know not even vaders rage and hate managed to damage his kyber crystal. So for Ren to... the power it took to do that?" You spoke up again trying to make him perk up and snap out of the eerie calculating gze he had trapped you in. Luckily praising the commander seemd to do the trick. Thnk god, matt was a big guy, he was scary when his mood soured.

"Exactly! Its about time someone understood!" you grinned as mtt beamed down at you with an oddly fanatic look bout him. He relly did love to commander... it was almost creepy. But he was brightening up gain so you run with it.

"He's already got more going on then lord vader did. I just hope people dont manipulate him like its said they did with lord vader. Ren could be so much more. I mean as long as people dont mess with his head and stuff he'll finish what lord vader started, he has more drive." You summrised, in all honestly it was all true. Atleast in your mind, and thats not to sy you worshipped the ruler, well not like Matt seemed to anyway. But you did hold lot of respect and helthy amount of fear for the man. You secretly hoped youd never come face to face with him, youd probably die from a heart attack.

"You sound like you care for him despite your fear?" You faltered for a moment mulling over his words. You hummed for a moment contemplating your reply. Not just to keep him happy, but also genuinely cpnsideringnthe truth to hois statment. Finally you nodded to the huge man.

"I do. I mean I've never met him, if i did id either wet myself or he'd kill me for doing something stupid... like wetting myself probably" you chuckled trying to add a little humour, wanting to hopefully change the subject soon. You didnt exactly want to get caught gossiping about kylo. The last thing you needed was to give him an excuse to peak inside your mind, god knows what he could find...

"I dont think he'd kill you. You admire and respect him, he'd see that" Matt held your gaze leveling you with a stare, serious conviction that was sobering. Your demeanour changed once more uncertainty washing through you as his eyes bore into you. It was enough to make your head ache. But you ignored the light pressure of an oncoming head pains to continue your playfull facade.

"Like in my head? Oh god thatd be terrible what if he saw Geb? Or worse what if he found out i think hes good looking under that mask and has a gorgeous butt?" You panicked playfully, flushing at the small nugget of truth hidden in your teasing. You breathed a sigh of relief as the pressure receded in a stuttered jagged reversal.

"You've been staring at the commanders butt?" Why did he sound so smug about that? Unless he swings that way? oh maybe thats it? Matt had a crush on him~ that was actually quite sweet.

"Yeah, have you seen the man climb into the silencer? Thats the best butt in the first order! Besides toffee face had the old gnarled and ugly covered right? And huckleberry has the pale and sickly outer rim orphan thing going on, so kylos gotta be the young and handsome" you blushed as Matt suddenly boomed a laugh, holding his stomach as he lost himself in his belly laugh. You watched queitly, you got the feeling he didnt get a laugh very often. It made you feel a little sense of pride knowing youd given that to him.

"Did you just call Snoke toffee face?" He uttered chuckling between words still trying to compose himself. But even when he managed to cease the laughter his grin stayed across his face lighting up his handsome features, almost giving him life eyes sparkling with something youd not noticed in them before.

"Yeah... err dont tell anyone about that; especially the supreme leader and you most definitely cant tell him about geb, or that he has a cute butt! Pinky promise?" You rubbed the back of your neck nervously before perking up again and held out your pinky. You froze as you did so feeling embarrassed at showing such childish behaviour. But instead of being put off he smirked down at you, tipping his head forward, raising a hand to hover next to yours.

"Sure, but only if I get to see geb dressed up as kylo" he anounced lowering his voice as he inched forward locking eyes with you. You could only manage to look him in the eye for a few seconds before blushing again brighter and avert your eyes, focusing on the vast open space of the docking bays behinde him.

"Err sure but only if you dont make fun ok? Its bad enough with the others" you mumbled aprihensively nodding to him.

"I wont make fun of you, its nice to see someone recognise our leaders greatness, you idolise him enough to create an efergy of him. Its cute" He smirked curling his pinky around yours sealing the deal with a little shake of pinkies.

Kylo couldnt help the way his body warmed as his mind began twisting itself around the idea of you. This little promise was much more then you realised, he was swearing to himself youd become his. It was only a matter of time.

He couldnt stop. He couldnt erase you from his mind. The tiny naive technician he'd spent the day with. It was rare for him to be so drawn to someone. But you? You admired him, and understood his greatness more then most, understood him more than even he could ever imagine. You belived in him, worshipped him! It had taken everything in him not to reveal himself then and there. To tell you how right you were, how smart he thought you were. But he hadnt. He'd simply left the shift with a spring in his step. The knowledge that someone as sweet and innocent aboard the ship actually respected him was enough to make him giddy. And he didnt get giddy. He'd quickly brought the undercover project to an end after that. Not wanting to endure another day with irritating jobs worths and bitching. And he was far to tempted to smuggle you into the safety of his own chambers. Word got out about the whole thing, and that Matt was actually kylo. Some people suspected as much but by that point he didnt care. He was too wrapped up with thoughts of his tiny technician.

He had suspicions on the type of woman you were. Shy, sweet kind and open hearted. But naive and excitable a childlike quality. something he adored and secretly craved. There was something that pulled him to such a woman. He'd dabbled in erotica, reading up on all types of fantasies during those odd few years after escapeing to the darkside. Suddenly he was free to explore in that respect. Reading kink, watching porn on the holonet and having his first few sexual encounters. He thought it was strange but it was the careing aspect of control he craved more then anything. He had odd tastes in sex had lead him to almost abstinence. He liked being called daddy, loved being much larger then his partner. Feeling needed, having soemone obey him because they trusted him to make the right decisions. He needed someone to be his entirely, someone to absolutly adore him and listen. Someone fun who could brighten up his days. He just wanted one person to give themselves to him entirely without an ulterior motive. But it was difficult to find such a woman aboard the supremacy, they all had plans to ensnare him in some stupid plot to fame and fortune or worse. Children. Sure he was aware oneday he'd have to continue his legacy but not now, not in the middle of a god damned war!

But here he may have found what he was truley looking for in you. He wanted a permanent lover, sweet, small and genuinely innocent. You were unique a gentle somewhat clumsy person with little quirks, enough little quirks for him to wonder if you were indeed a little. He was no expert, he'd only ever really seen and played with littles in the clubs he and his knights frequented when the stress of the military got too much. But you were sending all the signals, maybe he just needed to take the reigns and give a few sharp tugs to snap you into little space. From the looks of it, you wouldnt need much coaxing. Well unless nerves got in the way but a few swift trips over his knee and some playful swats would probably be enough to stop any denile.

The anticipation that quivered inside of him, shook him to his core. Sweet, small, naive and breakable. A little. Fuck. A little here of all places?! Double fuck. Now was not the time to find that kind of gem! But then again who was he to kick a gift horse in the mouth? For such a rarity to wind up here of all places and land in his lap like that must be a sign from the universe? You must be a reward, you were perfect! And you were his. He just had to draw you in. He needed a reason to see you, a reason to get you to his chambers. And then he just had to keep you there.

#oh for fic sake fics #kylo x reader #star wars kylo ren #kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fic #matt the radar technician #star wars imagine #daddy!kylo #kylo x sub reader #kylo x little!reader #star wars #star wars sequals

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beskarinhyperspace · 5 months

Text

A Ripple In Space

I want to do that with you, all of you.

More Chapters | MASTERLIST

5. Prejudice

*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*

Kylo Ren x fem.reader

*Canon Divergence, angst, soft dom, hurt/comfort, NSFW, touch starved kylo, Soft claiming

WC 3.9k

A/N; Tysm for the love and support guys! Hope you enjoy xx

As you follow him on your way to his quarters you stay on guard. Even through the distance, you can feel how tense he was. Kylo was known for being unpredictable and violent, but this felt different. Even though he appeared calm and collected, you could feel his anger in the crinkling of his leather gloves. Afraid it overflowed to a point of no return.

Once inside he kept his back to you. Standing still between the living room and dining table. You start to feel nauseous from his lack of words. Wondering what he's thinking about. What will he do about you or worse, to you. To be totally honest with yourself, you didn't want to stay to find out. Remaining silent, you slowly and carefully walk backwards towards the entrance. Kylo, sensing you moving and knowing exactly what you're trying to do, turns around quickly. Extending his hand towards you. From across the room, you could feel the pressure compressing your waist tighter and tighter.

Within a blink of an eye, he comes rushing to you. Instinctively, you close your eyes shut expecting the worst but instead he brings his other hand a few inches away from your forehead. Before you could even understand what was going on, memories start flashing in front of your eyes as you sense a tight pressure around your skull. He's reading your mind again and you're trying your hardest to keep him out before he stops on Henry. The way he makes you smile when he looks at you. How excited you were seeing him after your time apart, his hand softly touching yours.. He stops abruptly, taking a few steps back himself. In a quick motion he removed his helmet, staring down. He looked scared, confused? But you didn't give a fuck.

The fear was morphing into rage, “THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS! You can't keep forcing yourself into my head!”

Still disoriented, he blinks a couple times before looking at you. “I think you forgot where you are sweetheart, who is he to you?” He asks calmly but you refuse to respond. Still holding your head to the painful invasion. “I said, who is he to you?” His tone becoming darker, ordering you.

After a moment you reply voice low, “a friend.”

“Liar.” he exclaimed with disdain. “You’re just a poor pathetic girl, coming from a place no one cares about!” His harsh words coming purely from anger leaves a ball in your throat. “He clearly wants you and you can't say no, now can you..” His eyes were intensely daring you to deny his statement.

You don't want to bend but you're also so hurt by the way he's treating you. As if the way he previously kissed and touched you, didn't mean a thing. You have opened yourself to him in a way you never did before. You were pained but not surprised. Maybe you were right after all. You shouldn't have trusted him to begin with. A heavy weight settles upon your chest. “You're just a cruel man who doesn't care about anything or anyone but himself. And you know what? I do enjoy his presence. At least he's a gentleman, unlike you Ben..” Even you could hear the bitterness in your tone floating in the open.

Stunned, he stares at you with his lips parted and eyes full of questions, “What did you say?”

Uncertain of what's happening, you raise a brow “I said he's a gentleman.”

“No, my name. Where have you heard it?”

“I-“ you don't know how to respond. You can't exactly say that your new friends told you. Now you'd be really trapped here forever..

“What else have you also learned about me?”

Panicked, you reply trying to stop your voice from showing your nervousness, “Nothing, I heard it in the cafeteria one day, I think. Trust me, I know nothing else I swear.”

“Trust? What do you know about trust mh? The second I turned my back you go to this low life soldier”

“You lied to me.”

Now he's the one raising an eyebrow, “lied?”

“Yes, you lied.”

“About what, mh? Tell me what did I lied to you about?” He looked so sure of himself. Making you doubt your accusation.

“Um, that I was your first-” you say extremely low.

He chuckles, “What?”

“Yes, when we–” You stop yourself. Being afraid of speaking more than you should. Finding the situation apparently amusing, he crosses his arms, waiting with a smirk for you to finish your sentence. Ugh, does he really need to be like this right now? With hesitation, you let out a soft sigh, “You said that I was your first.. touch. That can't possibly be true.”

Keeping his eyes on you, he begins to walk in your direction. “Why don't you believe it?”

Suddenly, you feel anxious again. Regretting the words you said starting this awful conversation. “How can someone like you never.. I mean, you literally can take whatever you want.”

He stares at you with frowning brows, almost surprised by your perception of him. “You really think I would force myself on a woman? Do you really think that low of me?” He sounds hurt, “I trained all my life. Personal relations are a distraction.”

“You could've paid for it.”

He chuckles, “What?”

“Yeah, some people pay for this type of service.”

He plays awkwardly with the end of your hair. “Well, I'm not some people..”

“Then why me? I'm simply a poor girl coming from nowhere like you enjoy reminding me.” Saying to him cold.

The amusement in Kylo's face quickly vanishes. “I shouldn't have said that.”

“Yeah, well I know you also regret giving me more freedom by letting me stay in your quarters. You made it perfectly clear that you don’t trust me. You know you can send me back to my cell whenever you want right?”

He pursed his lips, ”Is that what you want?” He takes a deep breath, “I regret nothing, and I have no desire to send you back either. I never lied to you, and I don’t intend on starting now. You can trust me when I say that you are safe here.” Saying as he still toying with your hair, wrapping stands of it around his gloved fingers. “Actually, you’re the one who lied to me. From your memories, I saw that I wasn't your first?” Your eyes widen to his words before he asks, “Who was he?”

The truth is you didn't want to talk about him. He was a bad distant memory and you never really talked about him to anyone but your sister. But you also don't want to lie, now knowing that he can find the truth himself. But mainly because he was so transparent. You never would’ve thought that Kylo Ren could be this honest with anyone. Especially not to someone like you. So, you decide to take a page from Kylo’s book and try to be as open as he is. “He was a boy from my planet. Everyone in village kept saying how good of a man he was and that we would be good together. He would always come into my shop, asking me out and so, one day I did. Before I knew it, we started to go out. A few months after, he had to move away. We slept together a couple–“ you raise your eyes to meet Kylo's. “Anyway, I don't remember much of it. It's not important.”

He stays still, wondering where to go from here. He wanted to know more but he also knew how uncomfortable you were. Again, his curiosity takes over as he asks, “Did you had feelings for him?”

Shocked by his intrusive question you step back, “How can you say that?”

“You didn't answer my questio—”

“–Well, that's because it's a rude question, it's personal.”

“I'll take it as a no.” He fills the gap between you, lifting your jaw up to him, “How about your friend? Do you have feelings for him?”

“Henry? No.”

“Are you sure?” His eyes, searching yours for the truth.

“Yes..” saying firmly, rolling your eyes.

He brings his face closer, lips almost kissing you, “And me? Do you like being with me?” You don't answer as you're searching for the answer yourself. “Please, answer me..”

“No”

“No, what?”

You bring yourself even closer to his lips, knowing how dangerous this game is about to get. “I love it”

Relieved, a smile appears at the corner of his lips. “Remember when you said anything I wanted?” You swallow hard, knowing exactly what he's talking about as he passes a finger on your hip making your body go stiff. “I've waited for what felt like an eternity to be this close to you again. And ever since I came back, you seem to always slip through my fingers. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I really need to kiss you.” His lips now lightly brushing yours. “Right now.”

You want to response but all you could manage to do was nod. He doesn't waste a second taking you fully in his mouth. His kiss is passionately filled with lust. “You need to stop kissing me like you mean it.”

“That's because I do mean it.” Kylo's eyes were becoming more intense. Staring at you like you were the only thing in this galaxy that could quench his thirst.

With a single motion he lifts you off the floor. Bringing your legs around his hips before moving to his bedroom. A trick that he seems to be really enjoying these days. He drops you slowly on his bed. Placing both of his hands on each side of your head, kissing you freely as he's hovering you. His soft tongue caresses yours sweetly. Even his spit tasted like desperation. He stops a moment trying to catch his breath, “Is this, okay?“ You don't let him finish as you start to remove his thick belt, quickly throwing it on the floor. Moving to unbutton his jacket and he helps you by undoing the top ones. Before he could remove the last, you pull him by the neck.

He can't help but smile at your impatience. How did he get so lucky? He wondered. The only girl that had managed to capture his attention wanted him too. He can't remember the last time he felt this good. It seemed so long ago.

Now free of his jacket, you can finally feel his warmth and scent. You move your hands under his shirt, caressing his strong and chiseled chest. Resting your palm in the middle of it, you can feel his heart beating against your skin. He doesn't stop kissing you as he moves his underneath yours as well. Covering and squeezing your entire breast with his hand.

“You're so beautiful” he breathes softly.

All you could do was smile as he brought himself lower, pulling your shirt over your head. You begin to feel nervous. Even if you had done it with him before, this was different. You cared about him. What happens after this? Is this just temporary?

After a moment of kissing your chest, he noticed your mind slowly drifting away. “Hey, we can stop if you don't want to.”

“What?”

“I want to do that with you, all of you.”

Surprised you search for your words, “I-I’m sorry. I just like you a lot and-”

“A lot huh?” Asking with a smirk. “Can you define a lot?”

“Enough to make me nervous..”

“Well, I am too, plus you clearly have more experience than me..” He says in a teasing tone.

You gasp, eyes wide open as you hit him on the shoulder, “not fair!”

“You're right, I'm sorry.” Bringing himself back to you. Kissing your jaw and neck delicately. Wanting desperately to go back to his important business, “Does it mean that you feel for me Hyal?”

And then you sense it again, that magnetic attraction towards him. If he was so wrong for you, why does this feel so right? This is the connection you've been searching for your whole life. This intimacy, this vulnerability. There was something alluring about Kylo, and definitely something to love about Ben. The duality in him was intoxicating and you wouldn't have it any other way. Tilting your head away, you make room for him to do whatever he wants to. “What if I say yes?” You respond softly.

You can feel his lips curl against your skin. “Then I would say that also feel the same..” as he answers, he passes his tongue flat along the side of your neck. Feeling the warmth going straight in between your legs as you let out some soft whimpers. Letting him know that you want it too.

He grunts low hearing you make noise for him. Moving his kisses rapidly back to your chest. After detaching your bras, he takes a moment admiring your tits. Holding them in his hands gently before grabbing one with his mouth. Taking his time sucking on it. Switching between them while twirling the tip of his tongue around your hardened nipples. “Oh Ben, that feels so good”

He smiles, seeing you enjoy his touch. Which only makes him hornier as he starts to rub his hard cock on your pussy over the fabric. Licking them a few more times before moving down the bed. He removes your bottoms completely before placing himself in between your legs.

You sense his breathing followed by a soft pillowy push on your clit. Did he just kiss my pussy? As if he could hear your thoughts, he brushed his tongue gently over it. You finally relax as Kylo grabs your legs going in fully. Tasting and licking you in between your folds. He's becoming famished, watching you moan and twitch for him. He loved the view he got down there. Your body twisting with each stroke. Only giving you short breaks to calm down a bit before going back in. This time putting his tongue inside you as he uses his thumb to circle your slippery clit.

The sensation becoming unbearable, “This is torture..” You say desperately in between your exhausted moans.

Which only makes him want it more. “I'm sorry Hyal, I just love watching you..” He lets you rest briefly as he removes the rest of his clothes. The truth was that you were exiting him too much. All of this was new to him, and it was truly overwhelming. Afraid to cum first, he wanted you to enjoy as much as you could possibly handle. Knowing that once you're on edge he wouldn't have to hold back too long. Plus he just loved staring at you in total heat for him as you wait patiently for his cock. Coming back to you, he rubs his thick tip in between your folds, “No matter with who you are, no matter where, I want you to know and remember that your true place is with me.” He says, pushing the tip of his cock in and out, teasing your entrance. You were starting to feel overwhelmed by the sensation, desperate to cum. But he was enjoying seeing you come undone for him. “And mine, with you” he follows, now pushing in fully.

You gasp, inhaling sharply, still not familiar with his thickness and length filling you in this quickly. He grinds slowly, giving you time to adjust as he admires you from above. Holding your legs up to his chest as he goes in deeper. Moving gently by fear of hurting you. You were quite small compared to him and he was always afraid to crush you. Although as soon as he hears your begging moans he starts moving faster. Your juices were fully coating him and overspilling on the sheets. The pleasure was intense, making you whimper desperately. He knows you won't last long. Spreading your legs, Kylo moves closer to your lips. Holding you by the hips as he's now breathing hard and thrusting inside of you faster. No longer able to hold back, you cum on him shamelessly. As soon as he feels your body relaxing, knowing for sure that you finished, he lets out a muffled moan.

Moving slow a couple more times as he catches his breath. He comes kissing you, moving his hand up to push the hair out of your face. “Hi..”

“Hi back.” trying to hide your bliss unsuccessfully.

“You make me feel too good.” Saying as he lays his head on your chest. Being careful not to crush you.

You adjust yourself, moving your hand through his damp sweaty hair, “You're saying it like it's a bad thing.”

Your words stings him. “I don't know yet” He didn't want it to be a bad thing, but he also didn't know you that well. All he knew was that The First Order was at war, and he had to stay vigilant especially in times like these.

“Can I ask you something?” He tilts his head back noticing how sleepy you were getting. “I was captured months ago, why now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why am I meeting you now? Why was I captured?”

He takes a moment before replying. Pondering and searching for the right words. “I don't know why you were captured.”

“What..”

“We went on your planet thinking we would find some information about a rebel base, but we found nothing. I wasn't even aware that we took prisoners. I was informed of your presence on the ship about a week before we met.”

“Are you saying that I'm on this ship by mistake?” That's it, you start to freak out.

“Technically yes but no..” You stop moving completely now, totally in shock. He looks up to you nervously, “I was ordered to find a rebel base. We had a lead, but the lead changed and then, I was told that we still had prisoners which I wasn't aware of to begin with. So, I decided to interrogate them before moving from the lead completely. Then I met you, and then I was ordered to kill you..”

“What??” You say, cutting him right off.

“But I didn't want to.. Plus, I couldn't read your mind, so I didn't know if you knew something worth knowing.”

After a moment you finally relax, trying to make sense of the situation. Taking a deep breath before resting your eyes. “But now you can.”

“I can’t fully do it and I don’t want too anyway. I didn't act the way I should've. I was angry and childish, and I do believe we can be honest with each other. Please you must trust me.”

“Why do you sound afraid?”

He takes a moment before answering. Enjoying being this close and intimate with you. Breathing out as he squeeze the side of your stomach, “I'm afraid I might lose something..”

“And why is that?”

“I'm not good. I break things, I destroy.. kill. Everything I touch burns.”

“Well I'm here, still in one piece and alive I believe.” Keeping your eyes closed as you slowly drift away.

He smiles to himself knowing he completely drained you. He gets up, coming back with a warm and dampen washcloth. Cleaning you gently before joining you under the covers.

The following morning you wake up to the sound of Kylo stirring a spoon in his mug. “I have something for you.” Hearing the words coming from the other room. Knowing you were now fully awake.

As you get out of bed to greet him. You see him already dressed and back into his supreme leader’s uniform, pointing you to a pile of fabrics.

“Clothes?” You confirmed as you walked closer.

“They will fit you better.”

He's intensely staring at you, watching you get dressed in front of him. Knowing well enough that he could no longer look inside your head like he did yesterday. The way you reacted when he did, made it clear that he could've lost you right there. Things could've gone in a totally different direction, and he was happy they didn't. He was grateful that you chose to trust him and so he needed to do the same with you.

The clothes were comfortable. Black leggings and a long sleeve dress that was distressed at the bottom. Feminine and airy. One shoulder even has the emblem of the first order embroidered in dark gray. “How do I look?” You ask smiling.

“It doesn't matter what you wear. In fact, I prefer when you wear nothing at all..”

You automatically roll your eyes as you tie your boots, “That wouldn't be practical.”

He comes closer to you. Pushing the hair off your shoulder, “Don’t need to be when you're with me.” He takes your hand, pulling you up before giving you a kiss. “I have to go; I'm going to be late. Promise me you'll behave in my absence.”

“What do you mean in your absence?”

He sighs, “I was supposed to have more time to myself, but I have been called to the base. Shouldn't be more than a couple of days.”

“Already? But you just came back.” you say defeated.

“It's only for a couple of days, I promise.” You nod as he gives you one more kiss before leaving quickly.

It's been two days since Kylo was gone and you were already missing him. You were so bored on this ship. Nothing was exciting or somewhat interesting. As you're sitting on the couch you notice the third door again. Still wondering what was inside of it. You get up hoping this time it's unlocked but as usual, it isn't. You sigh as you look around the room. You didn't like having no news from him. You knew that anything could happen. Even if he was strong and powerful, he was still capable of bleeding. All this worrying was making you anxious. So, you decide to get out and try to see what your friends are up to.

As you're walking the corridors. You suddenly get lightheaded. Stopping for a moment to take a deep breath. As you’re reaching the entrance of the cafeteria, you notice Henry and Eira. Greeting them as you sit at their table.

She smiles to you, “We thought you were gone; it's been a while.”

“Yeah well, I needed some time.” You let out, sheltering your eyes with your hand from the ceiling lights.

“That's okay. Actually, seeing you reminds me. I learned something the other night when we were talking about you know who.” Henry looks at her puzzled. “Yeah, we were talking about some rebels, and I learned that ben killed his own father.”

Henry was in shock, “What? How? What do you mean he killed his own father?”

Eira nodded, “yeah, I know right? Who would do something like that?”

You let out deep breaths as you struggle to keep your eyes open. Henry, noticing that something is wrong, stares at you worryingly. “Are you okay?” Are the last words you hear, feeling an arm around you before your eyes shuts down completely.

____

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chezzywezzy · 2 years

Text

Yandere Kylo Ren pt. 2 (4/4)

Word count ; 4.7k

“What was he referring to?” Kylo Ren suddenly growled in my ear.

This broke my attention from Rey. I let out a quiet gasp, looking at his gaze, giving me such a warning.One of his hands began drifting to my head.

“She’s my girlfriend, Kylo Ren. You can imagine what we did,” I growled back, sending him a snarl. “Maybe I would consider you more if you weren’t such a villain.”

His glare moved to the woman, who was staring out a telescope. Even though my Force was not strong, I could feel the anger wash over the room. But, I focused on Rey once more, tuning into Snoke’s villain speech.

“—For you, all is lost.”

Rey suddenly summoned Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, igniting it immediately. Kylo Ren tensed, but didn’t move. All eyes were on Rey, and the red knights were on guard. Nobody moved as Snoke continued to taunt her, even with how furious she was.

“O-oh. And still that fiery spit of hope.” He raised his hand in mock surrender. “You have the spirit of a true Jedi!”

Rey suddenly charged at him. As badly as I was rooting for her, I had seen Snoke’s power. It was impalpable.

Just as she raised the lightsaber to strike him, he flicked his finger. She was sent flying back, the lightsaber falling right ant Kylo Ren’s feet. He shoved me aside and summoned it, stretching his fingers. Rey was sent sprawled on the floor, and I went to help her, but she was pulled to her knees by Snoke.

“And because of that, you must die.” He spun her toward us. She looked angry, but when her eyes flickered toward me, I saw it. Fear. She was scared. And I wanted so badly to help her. “My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader. Where there was conflict, I now sense resolve. Where there was weakness, strength.” I saw it in his eyes. He was conflicted. Confused. Weak. Everything Snoke was saying was to butter him up. Either that, or he was truly blind. “Complete your training, and fulfill. Your. Destiny.”

As he fired up the lightsaber, I did the only thing I could. I suddenly tugged on his sleeve. He turned to look at me. But I silenced him with a kiss to his lips. He responded immediately, and I knew how hungry he was for more. But I pulled away, pleading with my eyes. I then moved to his ears.

“Please. Do what’s right.”

With that, I let him go. He looked at me, still stunned from the surprise affection. I turned to Rey, but she did not seem angry. She knew that it was what I had to do in attempt to save her life. I was weak in the Force, but he was weak with me.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped, walking forward. Rey was still panting, and they maintained a steady glaring contest. Well, Rey was glaring. Somehow, Kylo Ren’s anger had completely dissipated. He was contemplating.

He slowly began raising the lightsaber to her neck. It was gentle. But, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it. The slow rotation of Rey’s lightsaber, turning toward Snoke.

“I know what I have to do,” Kylo stated.

“Ben,” she whispered. Of course she didn’t know what was going on behind her. She thought he was making the wrong choice, like every other time.

“You think you can turn him?” Snoke sneered. “Pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed, I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent. Yes… I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true.” The lightsaber was almost by her neck. My heart pleaded that he would not kill them both. That he would talk it out. He would do what was right. “And now, foolish child, he ignites it. And kills his true enemy!”

The Jedi lightsaber turned on, striking right through Snoke. I let out a cry of delight, and in that moment, I pulled the lightsaber to myself. Rey turned around as she was released from Snoke’s Force grip. She saw what had happened.

I took the lightsaber in my hands. The red knights immediately began to attack us, and Rey had no time to digest what had happened. Kylo tossed his lightsaber to Rey, deciding to use the Force as his weapon.

Rey and I collided back to back, ready to attack the red knights. Already, Kylo had forced some off the ledge and choked another. But Rey and I, our lightsabers clashed with the red counterparts. I felt a serge of confidence run through me. If I could stop Kylo Ren from hurting the love of my life, I could stop these queen of hearts bitches from doing it too.

But then, we were separated. I was surrounded by three distinct men, engaging in a stare down with my lightsaber extended, while Rey was struggling with one. I had to protect her.

One of them suddenly pulled out a whip. I took a few steps farther away, deciding to engage with the one to my left. I dashed at him. I barely blocked his hit, but I quickly recovered, stabbing him in the chest. He froze and collapsed. I turned tail, attempting to block the whip about to descend on me, but it was suddenly whisked away. Kylo Ren had come to my rescue, taking care of both of the soldiers.

I noticed Rey wasn’t handling herself very well. Kylo suddenly shouted,” Y/n, give me your saber!”

I obediently tossed it to him, and he caught it with ease. I ducked underneath an attempted slash from the enemy, rolling over and picking up tan corpse’s whip. I struck a red knight and dashed over to Rey, my attention falling back to her.

A blade was being held to her neck. She was trying to hold back. She was in front of her. None of the others were attacking me, so I focused, raising my hand. I thrust my hand out further, envisioning that I was sending him flying away. When I opened my eyes, it had worked!

I mentally celebrated my own unbridled strength. Rey recovered, letting out a congratulatory holler. I noticed Kylo Ren was in the same circumstances. But Rey took over, calling his name. She tossed him his lightsaber and he caught it. When he turned it on, it severed the knight’s head.

And just like that, we had survived. All of us. For the first time, Kylo had confirmed that there was a light inside him. Rey and I ran toward each other, dropping our weapons and hugging. She pressed several kisses to m y cheek, which made me giggle.

“I knew you could do it. Everything Ben said, he was wrong.The Force is strong with you, Y/n. You’re strong.”

I beard with pride. I felt so very empowered. Maybe… I wasn’t a complete fuck-up.

Kylo Ren, panting as he Bega striding toward us.

Rey suddenly pulled out of the hug, pointing and walking toward the telescope. “The fleet. Order them to stop firing! There’s still time to save the fleet.”

Kylo Ren was silent. We both stared him down. He cast his gaze aside from both of us. He was approaching Snoke’s coupled up corpse. Dread set in. He was doing what was right, wasn’t he…?

“Kylo?” I gently spoke.

“It’s time to let old things die,” he conceded. “Snoke, Skywalker. The Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels let it all die. Y/n… I want you to join me. You told me to do what was right, and I am.”

He extended his hand out toward me. For the first time, I considered it. But at the end of the day, my heart belonged to the woman not too far away from me.

“We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy,” he insisted. “You don’t even have to love me yet. You can be with Rey if you wish. But I’m doing what’s right now. For you. And I will only have the strength if you’re by my side.”

My heart thudded in my chest. I knew Rey was staring me down, considering the option. She was still suspicious of him. But I… was so tempted. Was it the right decision?

My gaze flickered to his waist, where both of the lightsabers laid. I knew my what choices were being offered. I could take his hand, or Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber. I took a few steps closer. I saw the light in his eyes. The hope. The goodness.

I raised my trembling hand.

“Don’t do this, Ben, Y/n. I know you’re lying. You’re manipulating her.”

“Please, don’t make me make this decision,” I whispered in agreement.

“No, no,” he rushed. “You’re still holding on. Let go! You have seen the ability you have when you find the strength.” He stepped closer. Out of the corner of my eye, I knew that Rey’s eyes were shimmering with a new layer of tears.

“Join me,” he prodded.

His hand was so close. I could easily grab it and make the easy decision. Or I could make the difficult, but… probably right decision. And yet, I couldn’t stop it as my fingers ghosted closer. I could tell he was eagerly watching me and my expression.

I made eye contact with Rey once more. She nodded to me. And in that moment, I knew what had to be done.

All at once, I reached for the lightsaber and Rey did too. She snatched Luke’s from his waist, leaving me to attempt to pull the Sith one from him. But he quickly pulled back. The lightsaber was so far yet so close.

Kylo let out a grunt of frustration, his true feelings stinging through. He was not only pulling on the lightsaber, but pushing me back. I focused just as much attention, even if my wounds ached terribly and I was suffering from a terrible headache.

“Why are you resisting me, even now?” he boomed, hand outstretched. “I have done what you asked. I have done everything to win you over. I am actively choosing what is right, and yet you still push me away!”

We were both being pushed further and further from the trembling, floating lightsaber. I fell silent, unable to muster a response. My heart ached for the boy in the man, that even now, was conflicted. He made it seem as though he was doing all this for me. And perhaps part of him was. But even I knew the truth, and I was dense as a rock. He was doing what he twas for what he had the strength to do in the moment.

The right thing.

But suddenly, the lightsaber first and we both went flying back. I almost blacked out, but Rey caught me. I had no doubt I was bleeding all over from the strain. But, when I realized Kylo Ren was unconscious, I knew we had to make our move.

~~~

Laughter bubbled in my throat as I manned the left cannon for the Millennium Falcon. We swooped into battle, trying to protect the large metal door that blocked Kylo Ren’s forces from the remaining Rebellion. We had won the battle against Kylo Ren, but now, it was time to finish the war once and for all. Or, at least, stall for the Rebellion to make an escape.

For some reason, as we shot, the enemy didn’t fire back. Only a few stray blasts hit us.

That’s right. I was his weakness, even now that he was in charge of the First Order.

But, they were firing up the cannon regardless, peppering to blast through the door. Some of the Resistance fighters were trying to take it on, but we were nothing in comparison to the looming, giant cannon and the weird walking space ships.

“We have to pull out, Chewy,” Rey suddenly spoke over the intercoms.

“Wait! Drop me off on the battlefield,” I suddenly spoke up, coming up with an idea.

I could immediately hear the reluctance in her voice. “No way, not again. You’ll die if we drop you off now —“

The giant canon blasted against the metal door, burning it to its core. After a few seconds, it receded into a black nothing. I saw the large, gaping hole in the metal door. The Rebellion. They needed more time to escape, and they needed it now.

“Please, Rey, just trust me. I’ll distract him.”

“But - but I have to pick up the Rebellion from the other side.”

“There’ll be no Rebellion on the other side if I don’t buy us more time,” I argued.

She went silent. And then —

“…You’re right. But promise me that you’ll be safe.”

“Rey, I love you. I’ll be fine. It might be a while, but,” I choked back a wave of oncoming tears,” I’ll make it out just fine. I’m strong enough.”

“But you know he won’t let you leave his side once he gets a hold of you!” she shouted, vulnerability shining through.

“I promise, Rey. No matter what, we’ll be together again. It may be a while, but I think I’ve got Kylo Ren wrapped around my pinkie finger pretty dan easily by now.”

I heard a sigh, and I knew she was finally - although reluctantly - agreeing. “Chewy, drop into the center and open the doors.”

Chewy groaned over the intercoms. A sad smile graced my face and I spoke over the intercoms one last time,” thanks, Chewy. I’ll be back, so don’t miss me too much.”

And alike to that of a martyr walking toward the furnace, I walked to the exit. As I stepped into the battlefield, equipped with nothing but my wit, I waved one last good-bye to the ship. It zipped away, but only then did I see it.

Luke Skywalker had emerged from the hole in the metal blockade.

I did not get to digest this fact as a million blasters went off in his direction. I screamed and covered my eyes, the sounds of bullets going off right and left echoing in my ears. They were ringing terribly, but I could only long for Luke’s safety. Although… I highly doubted he could make it out of that alive.

The cannons suddenly stopped. Red smoke dissipated in the wind, and I finally looked toward the scene. There as no way that one man had survived all that.

But then, the smoke began to clear. And from the smoke, emerged one lone man. Luke Skywalker had survived. And he was looking pretty damn smug about it.

In a panic, I ran up to him. “Mister Skywalker! H - how…”

With a cheeky grin, he placed a hand on my shoulder. Or so I thought. I gasped when his hand phased through me entirely. “Now shush up about that. We don’t want a certain someone learning about this ahead of time… Now, I know you’re a smart-ass of a kid, but why the hell did you plop into the middle of a battlefield? You know he’s just going to capture you.”

“Better me than the Rebellion,” I answered. “I’m doing the same as you. Stalling for time. And I’ll be damned if he gets a single hit on your holographic body.”

Luke chuckled, but his expression became solemn as he looked beyond. me. I turned, coming face to face with Kylo Ren. He looked any, but as per usual, his glare wasn’t directed toward me, but past me.

“Y/n. I know what you’re doing. Step out of the way and let me face him alone.”

I stepped further in front of the holographic Lule Skywalker, balling up my fists. “Sorry, Kylo Ren. But I didn’t drop into a snake pit just to get bit for nothing.”

His lip twitched, and he caved, returning his attention to the man I was ‘shielding’. “Di you come back to say you forgive me? To save my soul?”

“Nah.”

Kylo Ren threw off his cable, revealing the lightsaber that was held to his waist belt. I instinctively hopped forward when both men drew their lightsabers. The atmosphere was tense, and yet I felt lighter than air. Happy to be here, even.

Kylo aimed his lightsaber forward. “Step out of the way, Y/n, before I make you.”

“I’ll quote my man, Luke. Nah.”

And that was enough to set Kylo ablaze. He dashed toward us, trying to weave around us. But Luke stood still. I jumped into action, trying use the Force to push him back. He skidded back, almost losing his footing. But his arm shot out, and suddenly, I was floating off the air, unable to breath.

“Oh, you are pushing my buttons!” he shouted. “If I wasn’t as patient of a man as I was and didn’t see the future that we have together, I would kill you right now!”

I was suddenly release, and I coughed for air. I scraped my knees across the ground, but I had no time to rest. Luke was dodging and dipping out of Kylo Ren’s way. The man’s movements were quick and uncalculated. He was brimming with rage, ready to end Luke Skywalker’s life.

I tried to stand up, but Kylo seemed to have noticed. Instead, he thrust me to the ground again. I skidded along on my behind. Letting out a yelp of pain. But when I sat up, I knew Luke was handling himself, as once again, they were standing several feet apart.

And then Kylo rushed at him again. My jaw dropped the Luke bended over backwards, completely avoiding it, and once again having the upper hand. Kylo Ren became more and more frustrated at his failure.

“I failed you, Ben,” Luke suddenly spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you are!” he boomed. “The Resistance is dead. The war is over. And when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi.”

“Amazing,” he chuckled. “Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I am not the last Jedi. You’d think you would know better when one of them is standing before you.”

“I’ll destroy that girl. And you. And all of it.”

Luke sheathed his lightsaber. I knew it was over. The Rebellion had escaped. And Luke - it did not take a seasoned thespian of the Force to know that the strength was leaving his body with each passing second.

“No. Strike me down in anger and I’ll always be with you. Just like your father.”

Kylo’s grip on his lightsaber tightened. His gaze was trained perpetually on the Jedi before him. And then, with one final grunt, he dashed toward him. I watched with intrigue as I knew what would happen. Kylo Ren would be embarrassed immediately when Luke Skywalker did not die to his hand.

I rose to my feet, watching the spectacle. Kylo’s lightsaber skimmed right through Luke Skywalker. The man sent me one last cheeky smile before turning to Kylo, of which the realization was slowly dawning on him. Kylo Ren was stunned, and Luke only looks disappointed. In awe, Kylo stabbed him again, only to yield the same result.

“…No.”

“See ya around, kid.”

And with that, Luke Skywalker disappeared before his very eyes.

Kylo, still stuck in place, dropped the lightsaber. I approached him, taking the spot of where Luke once was. I could feel that Luke had just died. And yet, I knew he had died happily. I crossed my arms and sent Kylo Ren a grin.

“Wasn’t that a spectacle. Who could’ve known that Jedis could teleport? I sure as hell didn’t.”

Kylo stomped his foot, screaming at the top of his lungs as he turned to face the wall. He fell on his hands and knees, dogging his fist into the snowy sand ground.

I walked up behind him and placed my hand on his shoulder. “It’s over, Kylo Ren. We won. But there will always be a place for you in the Rebellion.”

He grabbed my hand and suddenly flipped me onto ground in front of him. I writhed under the Force as he began choking me, the air escaping my lungs. Panic flooded my system. This was the first time his anger was on me, and only me. Tars slid down my cheeks as I awed at my throat. Kylo sank over me, one hand choking and the other holding him up. His face sunk deeper, until our noses were lost touching.

“There is no ‘we’ for you. You are not a part of the Rebellion. You are not a part of the Jedi. You were brought here to be mine and only mine.” He narrowed his eyes, finally releasing me. I greedily gulped in air, massaging my neck. I sloppily wiped away may tears as well.

“And now that you’ve stupidly delivered yourself to me, I’ll be able to prove it once and for all.”

He connected our lips. I grunted and struggled, pushing against his chest. I couldn’t think straight. I was batshit terrified. The man… there was no goodness in him. Only new tactics. Only a maniac.

And suddenly, as the world went black, the only thing on my mind was Mr. Puffin and the regret of ever stepping off the Millennium Falcon in the first place.

~~~

My entire body ached. I wanted so badly to roll onto my side, but I couldn’t even muster the energy to do that. My body felt free, all except for my wrists, which had two bracelets of some sort clamping down on them.

I finally mustered the strength to open my eyes when I felt something squeeze my waist, pulling me along a plush mattress. I let out a hiss of pain, and I wanted so badly to cry, but I was so very parched. I stared at the ceiling. It was metallic and red lines ran across the panels. I sat up slightly, realizing I was in a plus bed, which also reciprocated the black-and-red theme. But, what drew my attention the most, was the bare arm slung across my waist and who it belonged to; Kylo Ren, who was seemingly fast asleep.

I heard a familiar chirp and some rattling. I let out a quiet gasp and noticed that, by the side of my bed entrapped in a cage, was my dearest Mr. Puffin. I weakly pushed off the man’s arms, casting my gaze away from his messy black locks and his equally bare upper body. I gently kicked y legs off the side of the bed, and even if my arms hurt from the slightest pressure, I sat up.

I noticed that I was in a new outfit and that the bandages coating my arms and legs were silky and expensive by space standards. I wobbled over to the cage, using the wall as support. Oh, my entire body burned. I was on fire from head to toe. But I so dearly wished to stroke Mr/ Puffin’s soft feathers.

I knew he would be the only thing that kept me sane while trapped on Kylo Ren’s ship. I reached through the iron cage. Mr. Puffin leaned into my finger, nudging me. I tried searching for a key, but there seemed to be none. I was about to try to use the Force to move the iron bars, like I had seen others do before, when —

“You can try, but it won’t work.”

I jumped, resulting in my body going in. I stumbled all the way back onto the bed, although I managed to sit up straight. I was hunched over. I heard Kylo Ren shuffle behind me until he was close behind, his arm wrapped around me waist and his chest pressed to my back.

That’s when I noticed the thin metal shackles on my wrist.

“Is it because…”

“Yes. But also, you’re so weak I doubt you could lift a pebble.” He placed a chaste kiss to my cheek, and I heard his inhale deeply. “I hope to remind you that we’re truly soulmates. Not only was your first instinct to go to your Port friend, but you could have tried to Force choke me. And yet, the thought of hurting me has never once crossed your mind. Funny, ins’t it?”

“If we were soulmates, the notion would be reciprocated, Kylo,” I croaked. “May I remind you that you’re the one who praised yourself so adamantly on never hurting me. And yet, you almost killed me. Twice.”

He sighed, his breath on my neck sending tingles of fear down my spine. “I’m sorry. But I had to… no, I needed to get you out of the way. I needed to show you that you were meant to be mine.”

“By taking my own life?” I snapped back. He fell silent. “That’s really lovely of you, Kylo Ren. And you’re right. I never wanted to hurt you because I thought there was an ounce of goodness in you. But no, here we are, in the same situation. You satiating your own selfish whims instead of doing the right thing. I feel foolish for ever believing you, even for a moment. I almost envisioned a future where we were friends.”

“God dammit,” he hissed, gritting his teeth. I could tell he was trying to refrain his explosive temper. His grip on my waist tightened, and I let out a yelp of pain. He suddenly withdrew from my body entirely, slamming his fist into the wall by the headboard. “You still resist me.”

“I wonder why.”

“I really do!” he roared.

“I’ve loved you, even before I even thought of you to be real. I searched the galaxy to find you, even before you arrived. When you fell into my arms, it was heaven. My entire world was complete. It still is, even when you are away, because I know you will return to me. We’re made for each other. And can you blame me for having a momentarily lapse of judgement when you drive me to wit’s end every. Damn. Time?”

Tears slid down my cheeks and I covered my face in my hands. Despair consumed me. I tried so hard to be positive, but the bruises I felt on my neck brought me back into the insanity of my situation.

“Yes. I can. You’re a violent man, Kylo Ren. You’re selfish. You’re cruel. You’re evil to the core. And if you truly loved me, you would not hurt me. If you truly loved me, you would make the right decisions. If you truly loved me… you would let me go. You would let me be happy with a woman who treats me better than you ever will and who would never try to kill me.”

He fell silent. But I knew he would remain steadfast in his decision. “…But I saw it in my vision.”

“No, you saw it in your dreams, Kylo Ren. You shaped what you saw to fit your liking.”

Mr. Puffin chirped wildly, rattling the cage once. more. Kylo Ren rose to his feet and walked over to the cage. From an unknown place, he withdrew a key. He opened it.

Mr. Puffin came flying into my arms. I let out a sob of joy, cradling the sweet pet to me tightly. I had a feeling he would be the only source of joy I felt in a while.

“…I know you are right,” he conceded. “But please understand. I can never let you go.”

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