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jeysamores · 10 months

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The Baby Project - ch.1

.synopsis: It’s towards the end of your senior year, and only one more quarter of classes to go. If you thought it would be peaceful then you’re completely wrong because your health teacher decides to give you a simulation project and partners you with your longtime crush.

a/n: This work took A LOT of time to write mostly because of school and colleges, chapter 1 is not long but chapter 2 will be, so I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it! much love - jey

paring → Sunghoon x f!reader,

wc: 1.7k

warning(s): swearing, mature themes, Yuna bitching Jake, Jakes hitting kink, rest is tbd

next l mstl

“3 more months and I’m out of here.” you think to yourself, looking around the cafeteria full of some of the most annoying people you’ve met in your life. You had a love-hate relationship with being a senior in high school, one of the benefits being that you could sign yourself out of there whenever your bitch of an English teacher or really anyone, got on your damn nerves. But one of the things that sucked this year and the past 6 years was the only boy you’ve ever liked since 7th grade never even talked to you.

Well, he talked to you once, but it was just a polite ‘excuse me’, and even from that small interaction you found yourself screaming inside and ranting about it to your closest friends everyday for a week straight and them being the supportive best friends they are, supported your delusions for 6 years straight.

“At least he looked at me when asking me to move, and at least it was me who he asked to move. See? That means he thought about me. I told you that’s my man.” That was your mindset ever since that interaction, and you were set on using junior year to make a move. You weren’t sure on why specifically junior year but that’s besides the point because the real point is you bitched out every time you planned on making a move.

And now it’s almost the end of senior year, and no action involving him what-so-ever. Soon you’re just gonna have to face reality and realize that Park Sunghoon would never like you, would never look your way ever again, never talk to you ever again, and would definitely not be the person waiting at the end of the altar for you, later becoming the father of your 3 children.

“You’re literally gonna be single forever if you keep acting the way you do about this boy y/n. It’s not that hard, go up to him and say what you want.” Yuna has been saying the same shit for over 3 years now and throughout those whole 3 years, you never once listened to her.

Even with your friend’s help, you just can’t (and won’t) get yourself to make your body move in his direction and actually talk to him without possibly embarrassing yourself, which you most likely would if you were to ever step foot in his direction.

“Y/n, spark a conversation, be flirtatious, pull your boobs out of your shirt for gods sake. You’re making it seem like such a hard task.” Felix says, sounding a little aggravated by this whole situation since he just wanted to eat his lunch in peace without having to hear the whole "y/n is in love with Park Sunghoon but is a little bitch about it” bullshit. Hearing it for the past 6 years was already enough for him.

“Why her boobs though?” Winter asks while trying to suppress a laugh.

Felix turns to winter, “Can you leave me and my choice of words the hell alone please? And I don’t know it just came out. Also don’t even think you’re off the hook either miss, because your little ‘secret crush’ on Jay is NOT unnoticeable.” Felix is now targeting poor Winter about the small crush she’s had for about a year now. Everyone knows that Winter obviously likes Jay, who the hell in the friend group didn’t know. “Wanna know how I know, because..well I just know, and the facts that I have are completely true.”

"When can I hit him?” Usually to get Felix to shut the hell up Yuna resulted in violence. Yuna just didn’t want Winter being embarrassed by how obvious it was, especially since Winter wasn’t the person to talk much about a love interest, let alone the type of person to actually talk and socialize.

“I don’t like him so leave me alone, go get an actual girlfriend for once in your life. You’re all over y/n about Sunghoon but look at you.” says Winter, scowling down at the sandwich in her hand before shoving a good amount of it into her mouth and taking a bite. That was the most Winter talked the whole lunch period, but not the first time she said some rude shit to Felix.

You can’t even remember when Felix started hanging out with you 3 girls. According to the man himself, apparently it was at Jake Sims 14th birthday party, and Yuna punched him in the stomach and then proceeded to smash his face into the cake and called him a dooshbag right after. Felix being the dumbfuck he was -and still is- thought it was so badass that he started following you girls around, attempting to be in the group. And he just stuck ever since. keyword; apparently.

But despite all that, the birthday story regarding Jake Sim getting bitched was actually true. And despite Yuna letting Jake know that he wasn’t shit by handing his ass to him at his own party, they’re actually dating. It’s a secret though, everyone thinks they’re some type of enemies with hella sexual tension. Speaking of the devil, here he comes right now.

His tall frame came into view, that sly smirk started to appear on his face which was sculpted by the gods btw. Those lips that Yuna is literally obsessed with but acts like she’s not slowly forming a smile when he sees her. it’s really mind blowing how they hide their relationship so well.

Jake said the exact moment he knew he liked Yuna was when she bitched him at his party. He said that when he finally got up and wiped the cake out of his eyes while still groaning in pain, he thought that was the hottest thing ever and began getting on her nerves even more hoping she would hit him again because he “liked how it felt.” Jake also went on to tell us that this was the point in his life where he figured out he liked being hit, in a kinky way. Why are there so many outcomes from this party?

“Hey Yuna, you know that instead of sitting on that hard chair you could just sit on my dick? All you gotta do is ask love.” The smirk on his face said that he was trying to get something out of her, but his eyes showed nothing but love and adoration when looking at her.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SIM!” Yuna shouted, pushing him away. It worked, he got what he wanted, for her to touch him. And even though it really sounded like Yuna wanted him out of sight, her eyes were telling him something else, something you weren’t going into detail on because it’s obviously some freaky shit. It was a daily thing for Jake to do this at lunch, come to your table for a little show for the public eye and to see his secret girlfriend.

Once Jake was gone Yuna looked from felix to winter and back down at her phone still trying to suppress her smile, "why do you even sit here with us, shouldn’t you be with Chan?” It’s true, where was this guys babysitter?

“Also, y/n has the rest of this year and possibly more to tell Sunghoon how she feels since they’re going to the same university. I think you should take your time.” Winter said before shoving the remaining piece of a sandwich she held in her hand into her mouth. Winter is the only person in the group who doesn’t pressure you into doing stupid shit like telling THE Park Sunghoon that you like him even though she knows it’s kind of long overdue.

“Well y/n, if you die a lonely virgin, it was never my fault.” Felix's laughter was soon cut short when he started yelling in pain and holding his right arm. “WHAT THE FUCK YUNA!?? why do you punch so hard!? I’M BRUISING! DO YOU SEE THE BRUISE FORMING?! I COULD’VE DIED!!! MY ARM COULD’VE FALLEN OFF!”

“You deserved it so stop screaming like a bitch.” One thing about Yuna was that no one was allowed to talk shit about her girls unless it was her who was talking shit (which she didn’t do). She was very protective of you girls, especially when it came to Winter since most of the time she wouldn't say anything back to Felix’s stupid jokes.

Apart from the library, you found lunch to be a peaceful environment even with the constant never ending bickering between Yuna and Felix. You should’ve chosen the library today instead of your lunch table.

Looking at the time shown on your phone screen you realize that it’s almost time for class and you still had to go to your locker which was conveniently 2 lockers down from Sunghoon’s to exchange some books. “The bell is about to ring guys.”

As you’re gathering your books your eyes wander a little and land on a silver haired boy talking and laughing with a group of other boys surrounding him. His perfect side profile, those moles that accentuate his face, that jawline. God that perfect pointed nose, you know many things it could be used for. His laugh that you can practically hear even from a mile away.

Sad how he wasn’t really social with other people that weren’t in his friend group, and apart from him the whole friend group was hot. The school considered them to be the prettiest boys to ever walk these halls. They all looked like models, something so delicate and capturing which should be held in a museum.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you quickly finished packing up and let the girls know you’re ready to go, which was a lie because you wanted to stare at Sunghoon for as long as possible. But you have all next period for that.

Yuna starts smiling which lets you and Winter know she’s up to no good. Looking up and straight at felix and loud enough for the next lunch table over to hear she shouts “Whatever, BYE VIRGIN! let’s go girls.” All three of you walked away from the table laughing at Felix’s dumbfounded expression and trying to clear up the accusation.

taglist @voidbeomgyu @cha0thicpisces @heeseungsbabymomma @zomyy @rikisly @sjakewrld @bellebear @ocean-minho @isylvr @notrosemary @classygirlsthings @asyleums @levi-09 @hajimalagooo @lvufran @jhopesucker @lunacrtk @vivibelov3d

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vinatintasupernovita · 1 year

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Tell me your hp hot takes I desperately need to know (and i am not a marauders stan so I won't care if you're negative)

i have a lot of takes so i’ll keep it to my top 10!

1) I cannot STAND regulus black. he’s barely an idea of a guy, his fanbase is a timothee chalamet circle jerk coated w the same milquetoast white sad boy w a heart of gold character they give to every run of the mill YA-male protagonist. y’all just want a pretty boy and i would respect it if y’all didn’t act like he was the messiah of the era, he fucked up his ONE moment of redemption and didn’t even do it right infact it just made Harry’s time trying to save the world harder than it had to be

2) majority of fans of the marauders just like them bc they’re aesthetics of vaguely gay best friends in a partially idealized 80s where they do not do anything but chain smoke, have relationship problems, and die. they are frat boys, they’re doing a lot of dumb shit constantly and very minor are their problems dating related

3) i don’t like the idea Sirius and Regulus were physically abused by their parents. i actually think until Sirius was placed in gryffindor he was the family golden child and relentlessly spoiled, in the same way dudley was but with his bitchy mom who was not loving but more.. like instigatey and let him get away w stuff? i do think Walburga was emotionally abusive and clearly unstable, but i cannot see her laying a hand on her precious heir to the family name, esp since we Know the black family held that in Very high regard. Sirius was different fundamentally from his family but not to the point Walburga was Beating it out of him, he was given just enough room to push until he actively chose to run away at 16

4) Pandora Lovegood Was A Ravenclaw. Only Ravenclaw Parents like That have a kid like Luna. Xenophilius also was a Malfoy, he was like Sirius and fundamentally different but only Kicked Out when he Chose to marry into the Lovegood family, taking her name. he and lucius LOOK like brothers like cmon

5) Moody is a hufflepuff that is just important to me, also i don’t think he’s that old tbh war just does that to you, but again that’s more for personal reasons

6) Peter loved his friends more than anything and never once WANTED to hurt them. him ratting out the potters was more him ratting out Harry and hoping that Voldemort would Only kill Harry, leaving Lily and James bc he couldn’t imagine a life without them, but they could Have another child (bit fucked up but he was also looking for the easy way out)

7) I think Narcissa and Sirius were the closest cousins besides Sirius and Andromeda. Narcissa was the clear favorite of her family branch and so was Sirius, they’re also the closest two in age, i think they’d get along well at least before hogwarts

8) The Black Family are BROKE as fuck! I’ve told you abt this but for the sake of the post: Grimmauld Place is Ratty and Dirty and Ugly in the middle of muggle row houses! Why would the MAIN family branch of the black family live there if they had a choice? they have no money (at least substantially) and they’re just kinda lying about it and hoping for the best, slowly becoming like the Gaunts

9) I don’t ship wolfstar bc i think Sirius is noncommittal and Remus is too depressed to do this shit rn but during hogwarts all the marauders did kiss a lil bit but in a bro way (also most marauders fans think sirius is bi and remus is gay, i see it the other way around, that’s just me tho. i feel like a lot of wolfstar fans shoehorn them into outdated mildly homophobic character types (the slutty bi, the inexperienced gay, etc)

10) James Potter is Indian and this isn’t so much a hot take as it is a fact bc Harry is brown in most fanon bc he kinda accidentally was written as brown-coded but not a lot of marauders fans seem to equate that with James. However i do think Harry is mixed in the way that he’s half indian, quarter east-asian, quarter white. (Lily is wasian and she and petunia are half sisters. you can guess what ethnicity Petunia is)

bonus: i cannot see Andrew Garfield as Remus in any context i think y’all are insane for that cus it looks nothing like him, just use his actual actor’s younger photos/movie clips??

#again many thoughts #fresa is rambling

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jackienautism · 1 year

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i rant about resident evil and their writing / inclusion of the girls.

i jsut want 2 girls to go on their fucked up little adventures together is that too much to ask

i finally got to the halfway point of code veronica X and GODDDD i fucking knew they were gonna do this goddamn shit w/ steve and claire. i knew from the goddamn beginning even if i didnt want to admoit it...... residetn evil just cant be normal w/ a girl being paired w/ a guy. they just fucking cant

i understand that this is seen more among the older games (ashley + leon from re4 as well) and i cant speak for the og re3 nemesis but the way they wrote carlos and jill? its just.... why make these male characters say such bizarre and degrading and just ? nasty comments towards the female protag? do you really expecvt us to root for them? i just dont fcuking undeerstand, and this occurs in a remake too! they didnt bother to maybe just maaaybe take that bulllshit out. because jill's uncomfortable. IM uncomfortable. its just. godddd who the fuck caaaares STOP THIS TROPE

you see this same thing w/ steve and claire.... not oonly is steve incredibly fucking annoying the first second we meet him, he also continually acts as a nuisance towards her for a good quarter of the game. yeah sure theyre just building up to the Ground Breaking Emo backstory drop later, but. you already made me fucking hate this loser so goddamn much meaning im not gonna give a single shit about his development later. I JUST DONT CARE FOR HIM !!!!!! THEM MAKING HIM SO ANNOYINH RUINED ANY CHANCE OF ME CHANGING MY MIDN LATER.......

and GOD havent even mentioned this yet but. when i saw the little preview thing w/ the 3 characters w/ claire + chris i saw [steve] and went.... [eyeballs] hello whos this? long story short i thoiught he was a butch lesbian and i got SO excite d b c residtn ebil has yet to pair a girl up w/ anothner girl around the same age but noooooo instead i got this pathetic loser of a man (derogatory). the closest we have to 2 girls being fucked up together is mia and zoe in re7. but thats like. mainly a side thing. and mia isnt even the protag so

which leads me to the next thng i wanted to talk about. i think mnmen are super cool ofc and i hate to be that Bitch and pull that Card but good freaking god why must there be a man FOR EVERY SINGLE FEMALE CHARACTER IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN SERIES...... andit woudlnt be huge deal if they were noraml w/ these pairings but theyre NOT..... THEY MAKE IT WEIRD EVERY SINGLE TIME..... STEVE LITERALLY ALMOST KISSES CLAIRE WHILE SHE'S ASLEEP........ CARLOS CONSISTENTLY MAKES UNNECESSARILY WEIRD COMMENTS TOWARD JILL......... ASHLEY RANDOMLY AWSKS FOR SEX AT THE END OF RE4............ WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT AOBUT? good for ashley for shooting her shot i guess though but considering yhe game's previous comments towards ashleu and her figure.... it was blatantly put in to sexualize her furtyher

maybe its thr lesbian in me popping out maybe its the aromantic in me popping out WHO KNOWS all i know is that. resident evil makes me very upset sometimes dflkgnjg i love the games i love the characters (esp the girls big surprise i know) but jesus christ. somethings i just can't ignore. and this is cerrtainly one of them. a girl just can't exist out of a guy according to capcom. and that sort of idea is suuuper evident in how they portray and include their women. you could have a girl protag (re3, recv etc) but theres always a 99% chance theres gonna be a man tagging along + continually saving their asses and theres almost alwaysa an even HIGHER chance that theyre meant to be seen as a romantic interest! and its exhausting@!!!!!

long story short . i get im not resident evil's target audience . but im still gonna be pissed and annoyed . the girls deserve better .

im def gonna have to go more in depth abt resident evil and their writing of relationships (or lack thereof) some other time but just for now. the best written ones are claire + sherry and mia + ethan goodbye

#resident evil #mine #text #my thoughts #[emma mountebank voice] ok :) i’m done #take this all w/ a grain of salt i guess #or dont i dont care #i also lost my train of thought. so ill add more if it ever comes to me. but for nwo. this is the bulk of it i think #my RE tag #RE

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armorsleevedsinglehit · 3 years

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the huge shippuden music meta

no one asked for this but i’m gonna write it anyway. i’m going to focus primarily on the shippuden soundtrack here, but expect some references to the original series soundtrack as well. also before i begin i know approximately two (2) music so some of my terminology is probably going to be incorrect lol, it’s been a while since college. this is a general shippuden meta but it does focus on the uchiha clan, in particular sasuke and madara.

anyway, to start off, you can pretty easily divide the shippuden soundtrack into a few general categories:

traditional and/or acoustic

electric guitar tracks

some combination of these, plus orchestra hits aplenty

there are a few odd ducks here and there, but no worries, we’ll get to them. and then within these general categories we have a series of recurring character motifs (which can be a bit muddled, because certain themes are used for multiple characters. i assume that naruto (the show) isn’t necessarily scored the way a film would be, and so the directors just slapped whatever dramatic/sad/upbeat music they could find onto a scene, esp if it’s a filler ep, which definitely generates some confusion.) but characters and groups in shippuden DO sort of get their own motifs and themes, so here is my very basic list of those as well:

uzumaki clan and its descendants/allies: “emergence of talents/hyakkaryōran” has a very cool melody towards the end that comes back in “narukami/weeping god” and “shoryu/rising dragon”. we can basically call this the protagonist theme. naruto, sakura, kakashi, jiraiya, most of the konoha 11, and even minato get to claim this one. however, VERY interestingly, narukami is what plays when tobi (as madara) is telling sasuke about the glory days of the uchiha clan... possibly hinting at greater connections between the two clans???????????

akatsuki-related themes: i won’t link a ton of these because they’re super obvious. they’re often full of choir and organ (harkening back to orochimaru’s original series theme); they also tend to be slower. not always, though; look at crimson flames, a slapper if i ever heard one. prime example of akatsuki themes: girei, my FAVORITE bit of the shippuden soundtrack. UGH.

general shippuden themes: things like hurricane suite, heaven-shaking event, etc. most of the first ost goes in here. this category also contains the closest approximation to hashirama’s theme that i could find, experienced many battles and departure to the front lines, which both make me cry lol

there are other fun little motifs and bits and bobs that appear in this soundtrack that i won’t get into here for length (remind me to talk about the angelic herald of death sometime), but it’s a remarkably cohesive piece of work to the point where it gets repetitive sometimes; why are all the super interesting tracks unreleased!!!!??? anyway the purpose of this meta is to attempt to make sense of the way this soundtrack works. we’ll investigate sasuke primarily because i feel that he really ties the whole soundtrack together, and you can extrapolate a lot from the way his theme evolves.

sasuke’s theme (wandering/hyouhaku), yes the dramatic cowboy music theme, is this wonderfully atmospheric track that makes use of the kind of negative space between guitar strums to build up this aura, this Essence of Sasuke. this alone makes it stand apart from other mostly-acoustic pieces on the soundtrack, to me. the whole thing is just humming with this simmering frustration and melancholy and it really gives you a sense of sasuke as this tortured figure who has been severely wronged and experienced the world’s faults firsthand. notably, this version of sasuke’s theme lifts its opening notes (and structure, sorta) from sasuke’s original series theme, which i assume was on purpose. it shows that he’s grown jaded as he got older, i think.

anyway, as the inevitable battle between sasuke and itachi draws closer, we get our first variation on sasuke’s theme: black spot/kokuten. it has the same melody and structure as before, but features heavier guitars, more orchestration, and, in the final bars, notes that previously fell on 1 and 4 but now fall on 1 and 3, which bring a heightened sense of urgency to the whole thing. and more importantly, it ends without resolving itself? it leaves us hanging on this almost call-and-response bit with one wailing guitar after another, before winding the orchestration down and fizzling back down to the level of “wandering.” here we see a sasuke in progress, if you will, working towards a goal that some may find sinister, but he is determined if nothing else, and the instruments match his fervor. it’s roughly analogous to “crimson flames” in terms of intensity, but it’s very distinctly Sasuke.

there are several more variations of sasuke’s theme floating around, but the next one i want to talk about is this one called “sasuke’s ninja way,” apparently, never officially released but relentlessly employed by the anime directors. it takes a more subtle turn than “black spot,” but i don’t see it as a direct sequel to “wandering” for a few different reasons. i think it represents the dilemma sasuke found himself after finally killing itachi and learning the truth about him: the realization that this whole quest for power of his was never really about revenge on one specific person, but rather about reforming the shinobi world as a whole. it’s slower than “black spot,” yet darker, more ominous; it treads the same general path as “wandering” but with added electric guitar, and, notably, choir. recall that choir is often used for themes related to the akatsuki, which i think ties in neatly with sasuke’s motivations at this point. he, like nagato before him, wants to remake the world.

the final iteration of sasuke’s theme, “sasuke’s revolution/junkyousha,” brings it all together. the akatsuki is commonly represented through choir and organ, and this theme starts out with both of these cranked up to the max. this is (pardon the pun) sasuke’s rebirth, if you will. just combine the intensity of “girei,” the anger of “crimson flames,” and the determination of “emergence of talents” and you’re there. seriously: this culmination of sasuke’s character development basically pulls from every single facet of the soundtrack and produces this MASSIVELY rich piece full of anger and rage and hate and fury, while STILL managing to include the twangy guitar bits from “wandering” (which have gone back to 1 and 4!!). we also have someone going ham on a shamisen towards the end of the track, which calls to mind the shamisen solo from “emergence of talents” and other tracks. hinting at an eventual compromise with naruto, possibly?

anyway, i started out this meta trying to find a piece of the soundtrack that could serve as madara’s theme, but i wasn’t sure that one existed. i think the susano’o has a theme, and the uchiha clan has a theme, but....madara just doesn’t?? sure there are unreleased tracks like “legendary uchiha,” but i’d argue that doesn’t really go into his character as much as it just says “watch out for this fucking guy.”

but then i listened to hurricane suite one more time, and i was like HOLY SHIT THIS IS IT. for one thing, it’s long as fuck: this track is a whole journey. it really gives the impression of someone who has lived an impossibly long life and become jaded and cruel and hardened. i realize that the argument could be made that hurricane suite is sasuke’s theme, not madara’s, or that it’s a general shippuden theme and doesn’t represent one character in particular. and yes, i think both of these interpretations are correct. hurricane suite represents what sasuke could POTENTIALLY turn out to be, given his evolution from “wandering” to “black spot” to “sasuke’s ninja way” all the way to “sasuke’s revolution.” hurricane suite warns us that sasuke can (and very well may!) make the same mistakes madara did and end up destroying himself in the process. (the middle of “hurricane suite” GREATLY resembles “wandering.”) and recall that hurricane suite is used in the very first episode of shippuden: the episode where naruto encounters sasuke for the first time, AND- are you ready for this- when madara’s name is dropped for the first time in the series.

this is why i think that, along with it being a general shippuden theme, hurricane suite is also madara’s theme. shippuden as a whole is practically suffocating under the oppressive weight of madara’s presence, right from the very first episode. even before he’s introduced, he is VERY much there. so much of madara’s character is established before he even shows up. we hear so much about him from other characters (kurama, itachi, obito, hashirama), and as such our view of madara changes drastically over the course of the series. and guess what plays when itachi shows sasuke that genjutsu of madara stealing izuna’s eyes?

anyway, in my opinion and in my interpretation of the character, the music fits him perfectly. it starts out all low and choral with these slow ominous drums and deep strings, and this violin comes in that sounds like it’s weeping. we hear something like a heartbeat that grows darker over time, before the music comes to some sort of resolution, an inflection point, and the brass comes in heavy. NOW we’re dealing with the orchestra, three quarters of the way into the song, and we’ve got strings and drums set to a marching pace, more choral chanting, climbing strings and shamisen tumbling down the scales. it sounds like grief!!

and note that yes, this track is used in the very first episode of shippuden, during naruto and sasuke’s first encounter. but it is ALSO used during the scene in hashirama’s flashback when izuna is mortally wounded and madara makes the decision to abandon the clan on the battlefield to take care of him, despite his better judgment and hashirama’s offering of peace. the inflection point in the music represents a very real inflection point in madara’s life: the loss of his last brother. (it always comes back to that, doesn’t it.)

#meta #madara uchiha #sasuke uchiha #uchiha clan #almost 2000 words churned out in one evening. [stares at fic] [sighs]#long post

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chroniclesofalonewolf · 4 years

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A SHOUT OUT TO MY FAVE ANIME GUYS - PART 1 (Because they also deserve it, you know....)

SPIKE SPIEGEL (Cowboy Bebop)

His Deal: Main protagonist of Cowboy Bebop. Bounty hunter born on Mars. A skilled martial artist that practices Jeet Kune Do. Well acquainted with guns. Owns a mono racer Swordfish.

His Criminal Past: Before teaming up with Jet Black aboard the Bebop, he was part of the Red Dragon Criminal Syndicate. But after being tangled up with his former colleague Vicious (and fell in love with Julia), he decided to leave the life of crime. Unfortunately, his past kept on creeping back to him during the course of the series.

RYUUJI TAKASU (Toradora!)

His Deal: Looks mean but he's actually a good guy. Can make a good house husband since he does all the work in their household. Takes good care of Taiga Aisaka, his eventual love interest.

The Tiger and the Dragon: Taiga and Ryuuji crossed paths on their second year of high school when the latter accidentally bumped into her. Thing got even more interesting when one night Taiga "attacked" Ryuuji in his home to retrieve the love letter intended for Ryuuji's friend Yusaku Kitamura. What's more, Taiga discovers that Ryuuji has a crush on her friend Minori Kushieda. The two then decided to help each other out with their respective crushes. And then chaos ensues... 😅

ALPHONSE ELRIC (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood)

His Deal: Younger brother of Edward Elric. After performing human transmutation with his brother to revive their mother, he lost his physical body in the process. His soul is retrieved by Ed, though it is now enclosed in a suit of armor.

Polar Opposites: While his more famous elder brother is a bit stubborn, Al is kinder, more patient. Amidst battling his own insecurities, Al cares deeply to the people closest to him, even risking his own life in the process. Cases in point: Al protecting Xing princess May Chang and his ultimate sacrifice to save his brother Ed, both happened during the Promised Day arc of FMAB.

ASHITAKA (Princess Mononoke)

His Deal: Former Emishi prince. Have to leave his village to find the cure for the curse bestowed upon him by a demon he faced (in a shape of a wild boar). A skilled archer and sword fighter.

Caught in the Middle: While traveling far and wide in search for the cure, he was caught in the crossfire between to warring factions - the people of Irontown led by Lady Eboshi (one of the most complex antagonist in the Ghibli canon) and the forest creatures, spearheaded by San.

MAKI SEIJI (Bloom Into You)

His Deal: The Student Council's resident aromantic (though he admires people in love and even gives love advice). The one who first to discover what's going on with Touko Nanami and fellow freshman Yuu Koito.

Yuu's Lifeline: Maki has been a key figure in guiding through Yuu's journey especially regarding her relationship with Touko. His shining moment came in Episode 39 of the manga, during their day-off at the batting range. While Yuu admitted that she does not care about romance anymore, Maki made her realize that: 1) they are not the same (aromantic) as Yuu claimed to be; 2) she's been in love with Touko all this time (as Maki repeatedly telling her beforehand); and she's just running away for the fear of getting hurt. That moment became a turning point for Yuu, as it sets its stage for the fateful Episode 40.

TOMOMI MASAOKA (Psycho-Pass)

His Deal: Former Detective of the Public Safety Bureau then was demoted to Enforcer after his frustration on the Sibyl System. He was assigned at Division 1, working with the likes of Shinya Kogami and Nobuchika Ginoza. He also has a prosthetic left arm.

Daddy Issues: As he appears to be the father-figure of Division 1, he's actually the biological father of Inspector Ginoza. Although their relationship can be a little strained at times, they do care about each other, esp. when Ginoza seeks advice to her father. Tragedy struck when Masaoka fell into the hands of Shogo Makashima, in an attempt to save his son's life.

SHUN KAZAMA (From Up on Poppy Hill)

His Deal: Student at Konan Academy. A regular contributor to "The Latin Quarter Weekly", the school's newsletter. Have a bit complicated family backstory (I won't spoil it here for those who have not seen the movie!).

Jackass Moment: In one of the attempts in voicing out their disgust on the impending demolition of the Latin Quarter, the clubs made a bit of a scene during the school's lunch break. Shun - an active supporter to the cause - jumped from the Quarter's rooftop, hit a tree, then fell on a pool full of water. Umi Matsuzaki - the heroine of the movie - lended a hand to help Shun out.

DUTCH (Black Lagoon)

His Deal: Former US marine that fought in the Vietnam War then went into hiding and become a mercenary. He is the leader of the Lagoon Trading Company.

A Lover Not A Fighter: Dutch is more into negotiating to clients in a peaceful manner and giving orders to the rest of the crew. But he can be one dangerous fellow if the need arises (he's an ex-Marine after all!). But 'til then, he leaves all the dirty work to their resident trigger- happy colleague, Revy.

NAGISA "NAGI" AMANO (Weathering With You)

His Deal: Hina Amano's younger brother. And he's pretty much a scene stealer in the movie.

Ladies' Man: At a very young age (elementary school age?!?), Nagi has been pretty smooth with girls. This came in handy, when he seeked the help of her girl friends to escape on the foster care facility, and also save Hodaka as well.

JET BLACK (Cowboy Bebop)

His Deal: The captain of the Bebop. He can be one hell of a tough guy but he knows how to do house chores as well. On occasion, we may see him either cooking or tending his bonsai trees.

The Black Dog: In a series that deals about the past, Jet's backstory is no exception. Before living a life as a bounty hunter, he is a detective of the Inter Solar System Police (ISSP). But during his years as a cop, his girlfriend Alisa left him (as shown in a flashback on Session 10: Ganymede Elegy) and was betrayed by his former colleague Fad during a case against Udai Taxim (another flashback, this time on Session 16: Black Dog Serenade) that cost his left arm (hence why it is in prosthetic) and ended his career in law enforcement.

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cloudyjisung · 3 years

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also i think a good thing to keep in mind is, what if your friends also feel the same way you do, what if they too also want to feel wanted and are waiting for you to reach out,, its a sucky situation lmao i hate it

pt. 1 of message

hello anon! I’ve been thinking about your ask all day and wanted to reply to it thoughtfully! :~)

Ngl, I felt a bit comforted getting this ask because now I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way and it validates my own experience. but at the same time, it’s sad because it’s a sad lonely feeling :~(

I feel like maybe it’s just part of growing up, watching people come and go. Especially with students like me in university, moving to different cities, being occupied with other stuff, gradually growing apart due to the lack of proximity with high school friends. Meeting new college friends, having fun in class and occasionally going out for coffee breaks, only for the semester/quarter to come to an end and so does the friendship....

I used to be very introverted and shy, too afraid to ask for what I want, just waiting for things to happen. But as I grow older, I realize that I’m not gonna be spoon-fed opportunities to get what I want or expect people to magically understand me without me explicitly saying it; I’ll have to actually speak up. Like, if you want it, you have to ask for it. In the same way, if you want someone to stay in your life, you have to let it be known.

I’ve def gotten better at reaching out to people now, esp those that i love and care about. I’ve gotten better and letting people know that I value them and enjoy their presence. Rather than thinking “oh, xxx hasn’t reached out to me in a long time..do they even care or think about me?” and wondering if I would ever see them again, I make things happen by taking the initiative to reach out.

In the beginning, it hurt my ego a teensy bit that I had to be the person reaching out to my friends and asking them if they want to hang out with me. There’s also sort of a vulnerability in asking for company. Add onto that, there’s the fear of being rejected or ghosted.... But I rationalize and tell myself that doing this would be worth it if meant that I could spend quality time with people I like. And when I do get connect with them and bathe in their presence, all the good feelings from that connection outweigh the initial negative associations I had with reaching out and fears of rejection.

But I’ll admit that sometimes it feels tiring...especially if one person has done most of the job ‘reaching out’. Because when that happens, it feels like the person you’re reaching out to has ‘better things to do’ and doesn’t have the time or care to reciprocate the same gesture back. and I know that may not be the actual reality and that it’s just thoughts inside my head, but gosh it sure feels that way for me sometimes. And that’s when I’m the most heartbroken.

I think I’ve always struggled with wondering if the feelings I have for people are mutual. Like, do others value me as much as I value them? Do I consider them too highly? Am I putting too much effort into this relationship? Am I being excessive? I think about the notion that every relationship should feel like an equal contribution (not something that needs to be measured out precisely, but the feeling) and I always wonder, have most my friendships been onesided? Do people not like me as much as I like them?

This may be TMI but my current best friend/closest friend has a ‘best friend’ that’s not me. But it’s not even something to be petty about. My friend was childhood friends with her bff and they’ve known each other for the longest time. I have no doubts about the strength of their bond and I’m not trying to claim the ‘bff’ position or anything. I know my place and know that my friend loves me very much, but the fact that my closest friend doesn’t see me as her closest friend can’t help but make me feel...like a less desirable option.

Back to your point about the friend possibly also feeling the same way, wanting to feel wanted and waiting to be reached out....yes...I can totally see that happening and it’s such a tragedy :~( I guess that just really points out how open, honest communication is needed in every relationship including friendships. And how misunderstanding can cause friendships to falter even if both parties didn’t intend to do so, simply due to lack of communication.

It feels good to be reminded that you’re wanted. But rather than silently wait for those reminders to occur, maybe remind someone you love that they’re wanted, and perhaps your own signs and reminders of feeling wanted by others will come naturally to you...

I’m sorry anon if you didn’t expect or want this long ass reply....but I wanna thank you for this ask because this has been a subject that has been plaguing my mind for a while now and something that I wanted to type out and release as an outlet. Again, these are just my thoughts and experiences and I’m not pushing anyone to think a certain way. Every situation is different and please do what you see best fits for you! Thank you again, and thank you for reading this far; I hope that you have a very pleasant day/night ahead of you! ♡ ♡ ♡

#inbox #ask #lola talks

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bluekayanite · 4 years

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(SU/SU:F Observations/Theory) More on the SU Moon

So I've been convinced for awhile that the moon appearing in Steven Universe eps (and at least one of the books) is NOT RANDOM. The first four eps of Steven Universe: Future helped solidify this for me even further.

So here's what I think the appearance of the moon means, as well as a number of my moon-related observations from the original SU.

EDIT (Dec 16, 2019): Corrected a detail that I missed/got wrong. =3 EDIT2 (Dec 17, 2019): Added another detail. ^w^

So, I believe that an important person from the Gem War has been imprisoned in the observation orb in the Diamond base.

(The force field is for extra insurance, filtering out anyone who might intend to do a rescue.)

Like the mirror that Lapis was trapped in, I believe that this prisoner can see what's going on through the orb's observation functions. When this person is watching, the moon will appear.

When this person is paying closer attention than usual, the moon will often be bright and/or full... it may even be pink.

Sometimes, when this person is watching hard, even the sunset (or sunrise) will be pink.

I believe that - like with the search robonoids in Off-Colors - Rose's sheild wasn't enough to black out White Diamond's mind control powers.

I believe that the prisoner on the moon is the real Pink Diamond.

The Prisoner is Certainly Interested in Pink's Stuff

The reason I decided to write this is because of the moon's presence in the third and fourth eps of SU:F, Rose Buds and Volleyball - eps that would certainly be relevant to Pink Diamond's interests, because they're about Gems that would more-than-likely be important to her. The moon shows up a LOT in Rose Buds, and is often on the bright side.

Granted, most of the appearances are in the same background of Steven's Room, during the slumber party - I omitted about half the shots because they'd be redundant. XD; Still, it's quite a bit for the amount of show it's in.

That said, it doesn't start showing up until after the Rose Quartzes came to Steven's house. And Crewniverse definitely took some creative liberties for *where* it appears. For example, it's seen in *almost* the same place in the sky for both night and day shots of the house.

The moon doesn't work that way. XD It's going to appear to go across the sky, just like the sun does, and at about the same rate. The amount of shift that it does have would only suggest a change of... maybe a half-hour, if that. Certainly not enough time to go from broad daylight to a dark, starry sky. Another thing is that, even though the moon is shown on the opposite side of the house from Steven's new sliding-doors, you can see it through the sliding doors. XD

Also: even though you normally see it through the left side of the doors, it switches to the right side, just for this one shot.

So it really seems to me like they're trying to emphasize "the moon is there!" I can't think of a reason why they would do that, unless it were important to the story... in this case, a story about a few Rose Quartzes, who Pink made. (I like to imagine that it's like she's trying to press her nose to the door. XD)

Now in Volleyball, while most of the shots are indoors, the shots of the house include the moon... again, in both day (right at the beginning of the ep) and night (right at the end of the ep), and again, in about the same position in the sky for both day and night.

Though this time the moon even changes phases, going from quarter-moon to a full one. Again, the moon doesn't work that way! It takes a week to go between a quarter-moon and a full moon. (It's also one of the times when its on the brighter side.)

So again, I don't think this'd be done unless it were important to the story. Again, the story is about a Gem that Pink (probably) made, and who is probably important to her. I've already mentioned that I suspect that a full moon means that Pink is paying extra-close attention - this suggests to me that Pink Pearl really was that important to Pink.

...I could only imagine what Pink would be feeling. She might be a that the Pearl (esp. the pink one) seem to be doing okay, but what they think about her would probably be awkward at best. ...more likely it would be painful though IMO - one of the Gems who she was really closest to has forgotten who she really is.

The Moon-Prisoner Seems Interested in Steven and the Crystal Gems

Okay... so I haven't actually scanned through all the SU eps to see where the moon shows up, but here are the things I have noticed:

The moon shows up a lot when Steven and Connie are together - as does the pink-sky thing.

In Sworn to the Sword, the moon is actually full briefly during the Jam Buds song... and then instantly changes to a quarter-moon. This is extra weird moon-behavior, since it's actually impossible for the moon to be full during the day, since it has to be on the opposite side of the Earth from the sun to be full. XD She's gotta be paying really close attention - not to mention be very POWERFUL - if she managed that. X3

(And yes, I'm sure it's not the sun. The sun isn't made of two shades of blue.)

Anyway, the moon is there for two of Greg's stories.

It's also there for Garnet's wedding. ;3

(Looks to me like Pink's a 'shipper. =3 X3 It even shows up during Gemcation, when Connie and Steven aren't talking.)

It's there, full, and bright, for ALL of the wrestling matches. (Seriously, ALL of them.)

It's hard to see after Tiger and Puma get beaten, but it's there.

It's bright and pink when Steven is having trouble with his cat fingers - possibly suggesting freak-out.

Speaking of freak-out, the moon shows quite a bit during the Heart of the Crystal Gems arc, after "the Reveal" - as do pink sunsets.

In The Question, there's also a higher rate of pink-colored, diamond-shaped stars with a halo around them - something else that I think could be a clue that the prisoner's watching... maybe even trying to communicate.

She also seemed to be watching during the fiasco with the communications tower (where the moon is explicitly used to show the passing of time).

...and may have checked in out of worry, after. Specifically, on Amethyst.

And seemed to have watched for the resolution. =‘3

It's hard to miss the moon at the end of Rose's Scabbard.

She also apparently watches Beach-A-Palooza - the moon is even noticeably pink during Sadie's Song!

(...though admittedly, the pink may be harder to notice against my marks. XD; )

There's some INTENSE pink-sunset going on in Raising the Barn, when a fellow prisoner is thinking about running away. (Plus a half-moon, after it's too late to stop her.)

She may have noticed when Lars - a friend of Steven's - went missing.

She may have even followed Buddy’s adventures.

I even wonder if she somehow got Lion to go get Steven out from the ocean in Escapism.

Overall, the impression that I get from when and how the moon appears is sort of a curious, excitable, and supportive (and/or worrying) feeling. And it would seem to me like the prisoner enjoys entertainment, much like Pink is established to. ;3

The Moon is Conveniently Absent for Certain Plot Points

Like I hinted at, there don't appear to be any signs of the moon in either Little Homeschool or Guidance. In fact, other than when Jasper first arrives, the moon hasn't shown AT ALL when either Jasper or Smokey have been involved - and even when Jasper first arrives, it's a stretch, because you have to count seeing the moon from the hand-ship, where I'm not sure the orb could look into.

Though I guess the sky could be considered pink after the crash... (I'd say it's more of a light/pale red, though - not quite "pink" range.)

And the sky is definitely pink at the end of Back to the Kindergarten - an ep that Smokey appeared in.

Still, it seems plausible that the prisoner doesn't know much about what's happened with Jasper, and she might not know about Smokey (or the other with-Gem Steven-Fusions) at all. I'm thinking there's a pretty good chance that there's going to be an ep where Pink meets Jasper, and there's some shock involved (on both sides).

Similarly... one of my theories is that Smokey's freckles are a recessive trait indirectly inherited from Pink, who had to hide her own freckles. (They're the only truly new trait gained when Steven fuses with one of the CGs.)

I think this might be setting up for a pleasant surprise on a first-meeting with Smokey. =3

There are other points where it seems like she missed something important - for example, there's no sign of the moon during Pearl's most famous song... or anywhere else in Mr. Greg.

I've also yet to see the moon any time when the other Diamonds were on Earth. (Though it does show up after they've already left...)

And... well, while the sky is pink through much of the movie, I think that's caused by the injector, not the moon-prisoner. The only time you see the moon during the *actual story* is during Independent Together. (Plus one of halo'd stars that I think could also be important.)

So... depending on where her focus was, the prisoner may, or may not, have noticed Spinel.

...And even if she did, she probably hasn't seen Spinel's newer form.

(It also shows during Steven's recap - one place where it seems like she might be watching proudly. =3)

(...Come to look, it really looks like the rings of light coming off the moon are focused toward Steven, too. 83)

I think it's also possible that the moon disappearing could mean that the prisoner's stopped watching. For example, while the moon was clearly above the communications hub near the end of Cry For Help, it disappears when Sugilite knocks it down.

I also realized while gathering screenies that the moon isn't found in Sadie's Song after Barb goes to get more glitter. (I'd previously assumed that Pink was watching all the way through, but now I'm not so certain.)

Granted, it's possible that both these cases were meant to declutter... I certainly don’t think that just because the moon is missing in a specific shot means that the prisoner isn’t watching at that very second. For example, there are a number of moonless shots in The Question that come in-between shots with the moon.

(In general, I believe that if the moon shows up outside, before an important scene inside, then it means that she’s watching throughout the indoor scene - possibly throughout the whole ep, even.)

It's also possible that, since they actually were keeping track of the moon's position in Sadie's song, it just didn't show after the glitter-run because the camera never faces toward it. Still, it did seem like they fudged its location when they showed the empty stage, so that seems like a stretch.

Though now, I'm thinking there's a really good possibility that, since they both looked like they were leading toward trainwrecks (even if it was only the case one of those times), she couldn't bring herself to watch. =D;

Maybe she has even more trouble with anxiety than I realized...

The Moon is in the Openings

So I couldn't find any sign of the moon in the first two eps of SU:F, but you can see it in the opening.

((SIde note: I really love when Peridot is doing cute stuff. =3))

The moon has always been in the SU openings - you can find pink sunsets in them, too (though not the one for SU:F) - it's one reason why the moon and the sky seem so important to the story, to me. =3

EDIT: It took me awhile to notice, but you can also find some pink sky in the SU:F opening! =D

It’s just mixed in with a blue sky, during the day, instead of a sunset, which usually has orange.

(The way I read it, I guess you could say that Pink was part of the group shot, too. =3 Anyway...)

I find it kind of odd that the moon only shows up for Amethyst in the first intro... though I guess it makes sense that it'd at least show for one of Pink's Gems. XD;

EDIT2: Oh! And not only is there pink sky during the songs, but you can sometimes find it during the ep title. =3

But yeah, this is another one of those places where it seems to me like Pink's offering support, following Steven's adventures. In a way, it kind of feels to me like she's always been a part of those adventures - or at least, like she wanted to be. 3′=

#su:f theory #su moon #su:f moon #su:f #steven universe: future #rose quartz wasn't pink diamond #image heavy

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squiddybeifong · 5 years

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Duels and Deals

CassRae Day 2: (Pirate) AU

From my pirate au and esp inspired by this post

On Ao3 here!

Raven rested against the doorframe and let out a worried hum, her brows furrowing at the way Cass was carefully looking out to sea. The fog was steadily creeping over the waves until the sky and water were indistinguishable apart from one another. Gray eyes flicked up to the sky and her lips quirked down; just barely clear enough to make out the moon, let alone the stars. Hopefully they wouldn't drift into the Bermuda Triangle, although Raven had no doubts that a sailor as distinguished as Cass wouldn't be able to navigate such a trap.

Her head rose and she just barely suppressed a jump as the short woman murmured, “You look worried.”

Raven turned to her captor and lover. She wasn’t as worried as she should have been, especially with her own ship underwater, but the fog always made her nervous. Shaking her head, the merchant looked back out to sea, “Just thinking.”

Cass didn’t answer to that. Instead the buccaneer strolled over until she was next to her unlikely ally. She nudged Raven’s arm with her shoulder and reminded, “We’re on a pirate’s route.” When all she got was a distracted nod and those gray eyes that she’d been falling for not even glancing in her direction, Cass went on the tips of her toes to place a firm kiss against her lover’s arm. Her words came out muffled, “Pretty unlikely to meet anyone in these waters.”

Raven looked down at the lips still pressed to her shoulder, a soft snort escaping, “The Caribbean isn’t that crowded? That’s news to me.”

“Aside from Ravager and those Blackbeard wannabes we’re the only pirates that have a chance of stealing cargo near here.”

Raven shifted until she was properly facing the Bat. A hand came up to rest on her lover’s bicep, her fingers fiddling with the tied straps, “Yeah?”

Cass proudly shrugged her shoulders, a hint of cockiness in her grin, “All the rest are scared.”

“My father forbade me and all his staff from coming ‘round here. The Bermuda Triangle is too much of a risk, apparently,” Raven’s words trailed off as she leaned down to steal a kiss. Cass eagerly responded, nudging the merchant’s hips back until they were resting against the railing. She let out a groan when Raven ran her hands through her hair, gruffly admitting, “We sail through all the time.”

Pink lips smiled into the kiss, “That confident?”

“Always.”

Gray eyes fluttered open and she pulled away to peck the sailor’s forehead, “I do love confidence on my pirates. Especially when it’s earned.”

Cass snickered at her hint. Tan fingers drummed along Raven’s waist, starting to tug her belt loose, “If Ravager shows up we’ll sink her ship. It’ll be easier than sinking yours.”

“Rude.” Fed up with the teasing, Raven shut up whatever boasting that was coming with another kiss, rougher this time. She let out a hum as she reluctantly pulled apart to breath, their noses brushing as she sighed out, “Your crew is capable enough to navigate without you for a few hours?”

Cass jerked back another inch and aimed a halfhearted, half-lidded glare the merchant’s way, her breath coming out in a huff, “Fuck you for having to ask.”

Raven’s breathless laugh carried over the water, “Yeah you will.” Cass wasted no time in moving her kisses along the merchant’s neck and Raven cooed, her hands tightening in the pirate’s short locks. She tugged on Cass’ hands and urged her back underdeck, towards the privacy of the captain’s quarters.

Raven let out a sigh as Cass flopped down on top of her, the breath turning into a giggle as her lover blew an exhausted raspberry on her collar. In the creaky calm of the cabin they shifted until their legs were entangled and their sticky skin pressed together in the nicest of ways. The two calmed down into silence with Raven languidly running her fingers through Cass’ hair and the pirate listening to the still-rapid thump of her merchant’s heartbeat.

Something in the quiet of the ship’s movement and the warmth of their skin pressed together made her nostalgic and Raven pressed a long, slow kiss to the pirate's temple. She’d never been this affectionate with her past lovers and a lazy grin came to her lips at the thought of falling for a pirate. Aimlessly, Raven thought of her life before she was pushed into this business and of the particular character her lover would’ve probably loved to know.

Another smile as Raven brushed aside the long bangs that stuck to the brown forehead, her mind briefly wondering how often Cass cut her hair. "My father knew Blackbeard," She languidly spoke up against tan skin.

Cass' brows nearly reached her hairline and the merchant chuckled at the reaction. Raven moved to her side, her smile widening as Cass whined and moved with her. Once they were all settled she pecked the pirate’s forehead and let her fingertips slide into the dip of her lower back, "I'm actually not sure how Father got all the funds to start his empire, but Edward was in on it. Apparently I met him once, when I was a little girl."

Her Bat looked up, her nose pressing into the pale column of Raven’s neck as she questioned, "Edward?"

"Edward Teach, Mister Blackbeard himself.” A small chuckle rumbled out of her chest, “What a name for such an icon, isn't it?"

“What was he like?”

“I hardly remember. His beard wasn’t as long and Queen Anne’s Revenge was only an idea. I think…” She trailed off and let her lips purse as she thought for a moment. Cass raised herself up on an elbow and tittered at how attractive the semi-pout, eyes narrowed at the ceiling look was on Raven.

Cass pecked her lover’s chin and Raven’s eyes brightened as the answer came to her, “That’s right! Father was the one who helped him get the best material for those burning coils in his beard.”

The pirate slumped down again, burying her face in the crook where Raven’s neck became her shoulder. The tall woman kept reminiscing, “I think he and my father were both blackmailing the governor and that’s how they met. Father kept enough extra ammunition on Blackbeard’s routes and Blackbeard didn’t try to murder all his crew when they passed through.”

“I’ve got one of his machetes in Gotham,” Cass hummed.

The merchant let out a gasp, “Do you really?!”

“When Jason was first starting out we had to anchor for a storm. I forced him to scuba duty once it passed and he found it.”

“And Captain always gets the loot,” Raven teased.

“Of course!” Cass smothered her giggles with a kiss to Raven’s jaw. She hummed again, thinking of how young she had been back then, “It was my second? Maybe third time sailing the Bermuda.”

Raven cuddled even closer, her arms enveloping the pirate in a lazy hug, “And here I thought I was bragging.”

“You were, Miss I-met-Blackbeard!” Cass snickered and smushed her face against Raven’s collar. A laughing sigh slipped out of her and she slid her fingertips over the few random scars that littered Raven’s sides. The Bat kissed her neck, “Why’re you telling me this now?”

The merchant grinned into her lover’s hair, “I feel like he’d be proud of me.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” Raven lifted her chin and pulled Cass further into her chest, “Getting so acquainted with the only other pirate that can terrorize these waters as well as he could? He’d be ecstatic.”

That got her a snort and a firm pat on her ass, “You’re not a captive anymore, you charmer.”

Raven’s hum turned into a gasp as Cass nipped her collar, “But it’s still working, right?”

Rather than answering the pirate kissed her neck again, flipping them until the merchant was on her back. Raven beamed up at her captor as she straddled her thighs, her brows jumping up as she bit her lip, “Guess it is.”

A cannon blast woke them up.

After a half second of discombobulation, Cass’ breath hitched as she stumbled up and surged out of the bed, grabbing the closest clothes she could reach. She paid no mind to the blankets around her feet and took off out the room, bare in only her undergarments and three different swords.

It was ordered chaos on the deck when Cass stormed up. She’d handpicked her crew so she wasn’t too worried about their capabilities; sure enough, their return cannonfire sounded not a scant second after she sprinted towards the group of sailors under the boom.

“Status,” She growled.

“It’s The Renegade, Captain!” Her crew was busy pulling in the sails, “She’s set to ram us if we don’t stop.”

“Keep her steady, then.” Cass ran a tongue over her teeth as she found that annoyingly familiar spot of white hair on the other ship. Her lips cracked into a sneer at the sight of Rose, “I’ll deal with her.”

Ravager glared at the Bat from her spot on her ship. Pulling out her rapiers she took off, jumping over boxes and barrels and her own crew as she rushed to where the ropes were. Cass wasted no time in running to the helm of her ship, grateful when the one manning the wheel didn’t need any order to give her his clothes.

Up in the air, the lookout shouted down at them, “One preparing to swing in due port, seven o’clock!”

Looking up at the alarm, the Bat hastened to tuck her loose shirt into her pants. Once secure in her leathers, Cass brandished one of her machetes and tucked her cutlass in her belt. She handed off her spare machete to her now underdressed helmsman and began jogging towards where her lookout called.

As she ran Cass felt at her weighted sleeves, grinning at the daggers hidden within.

The sound of rope swishing through the air preceded the thud! of boots landing on her ship. The Bat grinned at her intruder and pointed her machete Rose’s way. Always swords whenever they fought, never guns; they couldn’t fight as ruthlessly or brutally with gunpowder, now could they?

A wicked grin split Cass’ lips and she snarled, “Ravager.”

Rose rolled her shoulders, obviously irritated. Her swords swinging confidently as she growled back, “Bat.”

Neither hesitated to attack.

Raven pulled on her clothes as quickly as she could before jogging out of Cass’ quarters. She took a detour to her own hardly used room and pulled out the pistol she had swiped from the cook a few days ago. The merchant clicked her tongue as she tucked it into her belt, the pieces easily coming together to her; they were sailing the Caribbean and she knew of only one pirate prideful enough to attack other pirates rather than saving her ammunition for looting.

Hell, she knew her quite well.

So Raven wasn’t surprised at all when she scrambled above deck to the sight of Cass and Rose trying to kill each other. While she desperately wanted to simply watch them (and who could blame her? Both were ridiculously skilled swordswomen and she was rather intimately aware of how their bodies moved), Raven turned her attention to the crew, her face hardening as she inserted herself into the fray. They’d pillaged many times before but without their captain things were half a step too slow for her liking.

As the unofficial first mate, she ordered a third to capturing and hogtying Ravager’s men, being wary of any hidden guns. Raven pushed the rest towards the loot and they started the closest thing to an assembly line that she could arrange.

There was a commotion across the plank as a fire broke out underdeck. The last of The Renegade’s crew cried out for them to abandon ship, sputtering about explosives stored near where the loot was. Raven hastened to expedite the process, roughly commanding the men this way and that. Cass’ crew followed her every direction, tying up the survivors near the boom and sectioning off Ravager’s treasures from the captain’s own until they could be properly checked.

As the last of the Bat’s crew was back on board The Watchtower there was a brief heartbeat of silence, then Ravager’s ship rocked with an explosion, shooting flames and splinters into the sky through the low level windows. Unprepared for the blast, Cass and Rose were both knocked off their feet.

Ravager’s eye widened as she urged herself to stand. Smoke filled the air as she took in the damage, her rapier loose in her grasp as her Deathstroke flag sunk underwater, “MY SHIP!!!”

Cass used her moment of distraction to stand and burst forward again. Rose noticed half a second too late, spinning as she tried to dodge the fist aimed at her stomach, “You little--” Before she could insult her, the Bat kicked the back of her knee and Rose yelped as the handle of Cass’ machete was thrust into her temple.

Black swam on the edges of the pirate’s vision and she let out a series of curses as her other knee was kicked out, a groan escaping her as she swayed with the ship as it set sail again. Cass held her blade to her foe’s throat, a triumphant grin sliding on her lips when her crew’s cheer soared into the air. The gurgle of Rose’s ship starting to succumb to the cannonball-sized holes in her hull and the storming stomps of her crew packing away all the loot filled the air, but mahogany eyes didn’t stray.

Her voice was arrogant, amused at how easy this battle had been and at how visibly frustrated her rival was, “Ravager.”

Rose narrowed one blue eye, her lips curling to a sneer, “Bat.” The defeated pirate’s gaze flicked to her ex-lover as she strode up behind Cass, a bit of surprise and a lot of annoyance filling her face as she spat out the merchant’s name, “Raven.”

“Heya, Rose.” Raven pulled her messy hair back into a bun, ignoring the way Rose glanced at the bite marks on her neck as she put together why she was on the ship. Cass smirked as her captive-turned-lover drawled out, “Fancy meeting you on these seas.”

A grunt was her answer, “Cut the shit, both of you.”

Cass pressed the knife that much closer to Rose’s skin, two small beads of blood slipping onto the blade as she warned, “Don’t push your luck, Ravager.”

She tilted her chin Raven’s way, noting the opaque clouds headed their way. The Bat grinned as the knowledge of how that tropical storm was going to affect merchants’ routes came to her. Mahogany eyes met Raven’s pewter ones, “Have the helmsman set us on a course towards Antigua. I’ll tie her up and get her underdeck.”

The pirate punctuated her command with a firmer press against Ravager’s throat. Raven laid a sly kiss to her cheek and headed towards the helm. Cass focused all her attention on her rival and raised her chin, “Up, you.”

Ravager grumbled as she tried to get comfortable on the wooden boards, the chains digging painfully into her wrists and knees. She tried to ignore Cass’ stoic, shadowed stare on her face but couldn’t keep the animosity off her own features, aiming an ice-melting glare the Bat’s way. Cass didn’t react except to slide her fingertips along her favorite machete’s blade, cleaning it from the stain that was her rival’s blood.

After what may have been a second or a decade, Raven quietly slipped into the room. The staredown abruptly ended as both pirates turned to her; the merchant didn’t falter at the emotions that weighed the room, but she did take note of how they were reacting.

Her Bat casually rambled to the other end of the room and rested against the wall, glaring holes into the back of Ravager’s skull. There was another layer to their rivalry going on but Raven didn’t put too much stock in it at the moment. For now, she had to make sure Cass didn’t boast too much, although with how irked Ravager looked, she supposed she might have been a few minutes too late. Raven crossed her arms at the sight, her breath coming out in a stern huff, “Rose.”

Her nose twitching, Rose silently looked up as she was addressed. Cass frowned as the two stared at each other for a solid minute; even though Rose couldn’t see her face, her pride was the only thing keeping her from pouting. She crossed her arms, obviously agitated the longer they went without speaking.

At the movement gray eyes flicked between the two pirates in front of her. Ignoring that tiniest shred of jealousy on her lover’s face, Raven leaned her hip on the barrel and clicked her tongue as she addressed their captive, “You’re sloppy. What’s going on?”

Rose’s glare deepened. She spat at Raven’s feet, a smirk sliding on her lips at the sound of Cass taking a step closer. Ravager forced nonchalance as she shrugged and ran her chains against the floorboards, “I’m not telling her.”

The merchant rolled her eyes at the tension in the pirate’s shoulders, “You’re not getting murdered from behind. And you know you gotta.”

Ravager scoffed and looked away. Raven gave Cass a look before she could step forward, urging her to wait. A minute passed. Then two.

Rose’s eyepatch shifted as she rolled her jaw, the silence getting to her. Her pupils were wide and her teeth gnashed as Raven knelt in front of her. Before she could spit in her ex’s face pale fingers cupped her chin and forced that one bright blue eye to meet her gaze. Raven’s voice was a deeper rasp than normal, worried and calculating, “Rose.”

It was obvious on her face how much Rose absolutely despised all that the merchant knew about her life, as short lived as their relations lasted. Her chest heaved and the two words slipped out without her thinking, “It’s Joey.”

Raven tilted her head, “Is he doing okay?”

The words rushed out again, “For now.” Ravager paused and considered her wording since Cass was listening. Her tongue dabbed at a scar on the corner of her mouth and she admitted, “Dad went on the run and I’m worried that Joey’s gonna get the Grant treatment.”

Recognition filled Raven’s face as the plan laid itself out in her mind, “Hoping to blackmail some governors for his immunity?”

“Already doing it, Birdie. Some of them are stupid enough to let family sail with the merchants.” Rose barked out a snicker, shaking her head as Raven snorted at the news, “I’m making a killing.”

She roughly leaned her head back, just barely catching sight of the Bat in the shadows behind her. That animosity was back and as haughty as ever, especially with Raven so close, “And I don’t need my ship to do it, asshole!”

Raven rolled her eyes and tapped Rose on her cheek, bringing both pirates’ attention back to her. Gray eyes narrowed as the merchant thought of the most obvious arrangement, although it would be quite a bother to get Cass to go along with it. Particularly when it seemed that she was a part of this feud between them.

Standing, Raven perched her hands on her hips, “I just might have an idea.” Her sight flicked to meet Cass’ and she beamed, “One that’ll help all of us. But mainly me.”

“No.”

Raven blew a raspberry, the sound morphing into a sigh as she ran a hand through her hair, brushing the loose strands down, “C’mon, my Bat.”

Cass shook her head even though it did nothing to keep the flush off her cheeks, “Don’t call me that. And no.”

A brow arched over the merchant’s eye at the stubbornness, “Well why not? It’s a good plan!”

The Bat didn’t dare chance a look at Raven, lest she lose herself, “Teaming up with Ravager in any form is never a good plan. And to believe she’ll tell the truth about the routes? I don’t trust her.”

“But you trust me--”

Cass cut her off, her words a beat too fast to be ignored, “And you trust her.”

The pirate didn’t bother trying to keep up the conversation when Raven went silent. No, all she did was continue sharpening her machete and once one was done, she moved on to the next. The merchant’s stare bored into her back and then a quiet chuckle slipped out into the silence.

Raven’s words held a bite when she finally piped up, all but daring Cass to look at her, “I can see what you mean. But don’t forget, the Caribbean has some marvelous beaches around the ports. I’m sure we three could all squeeze into one of the cabanas if it got us to trust each other more.”

Cass glared at the reflection on her spadroon, not quite sharp enough for her tastes. Her words came out a bit terser than expected, “I’d never deal with her.”

“Surely it’s nothing a little hate loving can’t fix.” Raven beamed at her lover, her stomach flipping at the sight of her captor’s lips pulling into a thin line. Still, she had to be sure. The merchant strolled up next to her and rested an elbow on the wall, lazily watching Cass’ work. “I’m used to acting as an intermediary, if you two need the help.”

The Bat frowned at the teasing, wordlessly going back to sharpening her weapons.

Raven’s head tilted to the side, disbelief and a lot of charm filling her chest as she realized the pirate wasn’t even going to try to hide her emotions at her little quip. There was a feather of a laugh in her voice and she bluntly asked, “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

That got a reaction. Cass aimed a pointed look up at her lover, “Pirates don’t get jealous.”

Gray eyes squinted, “I dunno, I’m starting to think that they do.” Raven lazily pulled her hair out of its bun and began combing through it with her fingers, her stare never leaving those pretty pirate features.

Her face brightened in a smile, “Maybe only when their rival is playing a part in it?”

That smile faltered as she remembered just how tense the atmosphere was when she’d first come to Rose’s holding room and the merchant wondered if she should chance asking what they had said to each other. Especially at the way Rose had glared at her marked neck…

Physically shaking her head of those thoughts before Pride could take hold, Raven tapped the captain’s shoulder. At the dark look in those mahogany eyes, she wondered how their rivalry had gotten so bad. If she had to guess, she’d put money on Joey and Jason being civil enough to get along, but that didn’t explain all of this hostility between the two swordswomen.

Cass raised a brow and Raven gave her a small smile, “Can I kiss you?”

Brown lips twitched, but ultimately refused. She knew what one little kiss led to with them. A tiny curl lifted the corners of her mouth regardless and Cass motioned to the cutlass that still needed attention, “I need to finish these.”

Raven chuckled, “And think over my plan?”

“Maybe.”

“Alright. I’ll go check on what the loot’s shaping up to be,” Raven took a small step forward. A lazy grin formed on her face and she scooted until she was behind her lover, “But first, I’m gonna kiss you.”

Cass clicked her tongue, “I’m working.”

Raven giggled as she spotted exactly what patch she needed to taste, “And you need a matching bite.”

The Bat tilted her head to the left, not once stopping her honing. The merchant snickered as she rubbed her pirate’s sides and tugged down her shirt’s hem, pressing a firm smooch to her neck.

A happy sigh slid out of both and Raven let one hand come up to trace the shell of her sailor’s ear. “For the record,” She murmured against the dark neck under her lips, “Rose and I never cuddled afterwards.”

Already well acquainted with a raised white scar along the short woman’s pulse, Raven kissed the sunburnt skin once, twice, “And besides that the difference isn’t even close, my jealous Bat.”

Cass let out a curious little hum and her lover decided to ask, “Are pirates fans of verses?”

Raven snickered as the Bat’s movements paused, her head falling back. Their cheeks pressed together and Cass groaned out, “Don’t say you’re going soft on me.”

Tilting her face to peck the raider’s cheek, Raven said, “I was with Rose, but I am yours.”

This time Cass was the one left quiet. The merchant giggled at the dark blush that was taking over Cass’ face and kissed her temple, “Now I don’t know about you, but I think your rivalry is far more fun when I’m not involved.”

The pirate couldn’t argue with that. She let out a small whine when Raven stood and started for the door, pouting towards the tall woman’s back, “You want me to keep it that in mind when I think about your ridiculous plan?”

A gray eye winked at her, “You know I do.”

Rose sneered up at Cass when she strode in, her eyes taking a few seconds to adjust to the light seeping in from the open door, “What the fuck do you want now?”

The Bat didn’t answer for a moment, casually pulling up a barrel to sit on. The two glowered at each other for a long minute before Cass broke the tension, “I need to know all that you’ve done.”

Her rival scoffed, the sound catching in her throat as Cass added, “For Joey.”

She shook her head, ruffling up her long locks and making the eyepatch shift as she snarled out, “Don’t you dare say his fucking name. Why would I tell you any of that?”

Brown arms crossed over her chest and Cass’ chin tilted up, “Raven has an idea that won’t end in you dying on this ship.”

Despite the confidence the Bat showcased, Ravager grinned as wide as she could at what she saw. Aiming for her rival’s now very obvious weak spot, Rose teased, “Aww, she on my side?”

She didn’t flinch when the thrown dagger embedded itself half an inch from her head or when the boot slammed down on the chain that bound her hands, although she did narrow her eyes at the Bat. Rose looked up the most she could, annoyed when her tugging on the chains did nothing to make the pirate slip up. She huffed out a warning, “That better not’ve cut my hair.”

Cass crouched down till they were face to face, her features dark and shadowed, “Do you have any attacks planned?”

Rose clicked her tongue, “Again, why the fuck would I tell you?”

“You’d tell Raven.”

The Bat’s words were as stoic as ever but Ravager knew. She smirked and let out a cackle, her shoulders shaking as she leaned as far forward as she could. Cass narrowed her eyes as their noses nearly touched, her brows furrowing as Rose drawled, “Maybe. Although last time that happened she was tied up in my--”

Same as Raven had earlier, Cass roughly cupped her chin to get her to shut up. She ran a tongue over her teeth and repeated, “Attacks, Rose.” Cass dared a grin at the way the pirate glared at the use of her name, “Any governors that may be after you, any ambushes at any ports? Whatever you can think of.”

Her fingers dug painfully into the eyepatched woman’s chin as Ravager tittered out, “Damn, it must really piss you off that I got to her first.”

Cass completely ignored her, “You have this one chance, Ravager. You won’t die today but if I have to ask again…”

Rose’s eye squinted as she considered her options for a second. Then a rough sigh forced its way out her lungs, “You said Antigua earlier, right? That should be safe. The Bahamas not so much.”

Cass raised a brow at the Ravager, “Why?”

The captive rolled her one good eye, “Mexico’s all up in a tizzy ‘bout the Louisiana Purchase. The gulf is full of military and some of them are lingering near Cuba.”

The Bat’s lips pursed as she thought for a moment. Then she nodded once, standing upright, “Alright.”

Rose’s face scrunched up at the lack of a reaction, “Alright? That’s it?”

“Nah,” Cass yanked her dagger out of the wood and tapped the tip of Rose’s nose with the blade. That signature arrogance was back as she all but glided towards the door and snickered over her shoulder, “Stay put. We’ll get you dinner in a bit.”

She let the door slam shut behind her.

Raven was leaning on the railing when the captain came back above deck. A thick brow raised as Cass approached, “Well?”

The Bat didn’t stop until they were flush together. She reached up on the tips of her toes to kiss the merchant, humming as her hands tugged Raven’s belt until their hips knocked. Pale fingers slid through her hair and Raven let out a breathless laugh against her lips, giggling at the pirate’s eagerness, “Seems you got what you needed?”

Cass nodded once, leaning up for another peck, “We’ll let her stay. Chains on and always supervised.”

“And we’ll drop her off later…?”

“As soon as we set to leave Antigua. I’ll knock her out and we’ll head back towards Gotham.”

Raven ran her thumbs over the pirate’s cheeks, “Thank you. Want me to break the news?”

Mahogany eyes flicked towards the sky, catching the faintest sight of the stars in the sky. The sunset would shield them until night fell, bet she knew well enough where they were. Her crew were more than competent to not slip up, so Cass was confident when she suggested, “Take her dinner when you go. I’ll organize the crew to their shifts overseeing our prisoner.”

Before the merchant could ask, Cass stole one last kiss. She couldn’t keep the smile off her lips when Raven fell into the kiss and she murmured, “If we’re gonna be babysitting for a few days, I’d like to enjoy you plenty tonight.”

Once again, a cannon woke them up. Further away than Ravager’s attack had come from, but close enough to startle them out of their sleep. Sighing, Raven let out a “For fuck’s sake” as, once again, Cass shot up out of bed and hurried to get dressed.

This time she got all her clothes on but she didn’t head to the deck. Raven watched as her lover practically flew out the door, a frown curling her lips as she hastened to prepare herself .

Cass rushed down to where Rose was being kept. The pirate’s eye went wide as the Bat yanked her up by the front of her shirt. The captain’s voice was furious, “What didn’t you tell me?”

Ravager raised a brow, “Something got fucked up?”

She let out a groan as she was heaved to her feet, her half-asleep legs taking a second to steady under her weight as Cass dragged her by the chains above deck. The Bat paused when she could see the ocean, keeping Rose half-hidden with the stairs. Nodding at how cohesive her crew was coming along, brown eyes zeroed in on Raven and the worried curl to her shoulders as the merchant gazed out to the aft.

A fleet of five ships was following them, headed by a disgustingly familiar hull. Raven let out a horrified groan as she recognized it, running back to her Bat’s side as Cass stepped up to get an update, “Five of them. Led by Maynard’s Jane.”

Cass narrowed her eyes, “The very one…?”

“That Blackbeard died on? Yeah.”

They both spun around at the shout of “You set me up!” Now that she could see what the commotion was about Rose’s voice alone was practically murderous, her brows furrowing and making the strap of her eyepatch bunch up above her nose. Before she could attempt to lunge Raven put a shoulder in between the two. She shoved them apart, “I’d rather not see either of your heads hung on her bowsprit.”

“Fuck off, Raven.” Rose shoved her away and yanked a dagger from her side. The crew that gave her water that morning were sloppy and her fury could make her sloppier, but the Ravager paid that fact no mind. She pointed the blade Cass’ way, “I’m sick of you. Let’s finish this.”

Cass snorted and drummed her fingers against her machete’s hilt, “Awful timing, but sure.” The Bat grinned and halfheartedly waved for her lover to stay back. A lazy rumble slipped out of her and she boasted, “We’ll just toss your body overboard, Ravager. No decapitation, I promise.”

“Won’t even make this fair?”

Her dark eyes flickered to the chains that still bound Rose’s wrists and she chuckled, roughly tossing the key her captive’s way. Cass steadied herself and ignored the oddly attractive way Raven pinched between her eyes, all her attention on her now-free rival. The merchant tried to appeal to them, “You guys, they’re less than a knot out we don’t have time for this--”

They ignored her and clashed together.

Their blades screeched as metal slid on metal. With her height disadvantage Cass slipped and immediately caught herself, shoulder-checking Ravager in the sternum as hard as she could. At the shift Rose took her chance and spun, tossing the Bat towards the center of the deck.

Cass let out a grunt as she used her momentum to flip over, hissing when her machete clanked to the ground. Rose dove for the weapon and, fed up, Raven pulled out her pistol and shot a round into the air. Gray eyes glared at the two, “ENOUGH!”

The two stumbled in their attacks at the sound, but the reprieve was short lived. Suddenly Ravager was yielding the machete and Cass, cutlass in hand, was lunging forward again. Their boots thudded on the wood but before they could collide Raven fired a shot in the ridiculously small space between them.

It skimmed Rose’s shoulder and the white-haired woman’s “What the fuck!” was overshadowed by Cass’ incredulous “You just shot at me!”

The merchant frowned, “And I’ll do it again! Now both of you, stop it right now!”

Running a hand through her hair, she growled out, “You two can kill each other another time. And that’ll be after the authorities stop pursuing us!” At her own words Raven glanced around at their surroundings, putting her pistol away. Her heart sunk at the sight of two more ships to their starboard, three to the forward, and the largest individual of the fleet coming up on their port.

Rose noisily huffed and ran a hand over her face, re-adjusting her eyepatch as her fingers inched towards the spare dagger strapped to the back of her thigh. She met Cass’ gaze and lifted her hands up and away from her body at the cutlass in her rival’s hand, paired with a tan hand on Raven’s hip, all too close to the pistol that the merchant wielded.

Raven knocked her thigh against Cass’ before she grunted out a simple, “Don’t.” Gray eyes didn’t stray from their pursuers and her lips quirked down, “No use doing their job for them.”

Ravager glowered at the pair, “I’m dying either way.”

She whipped out her dagger at the same moment the Bat pulled out her cutlass, both of them hesitating when the merchant’s pistol came out again. That hesitation ended when Rose grinned, “Better a duel than a hanging, Raven.”

Her stare met Cass’ and she sneered, “Let’s get this over with once and for all.”

“No,” Raven pointed the barrel at the eyepatched woman, “Put it down.”

A begrudging snort slipped out of the pirate but when the pale finger tightened against the trigger she did as commanded. A brow did raise when Raven roughly cleared her throat and glared at Cass from the corner of her eye, “You too.”

Exasperated, Cass tossed her cutlass down. When Raven knocked their hips again the pirate pulled the daggers out of her sleeves and boots and reluctantly set the three machetes from her belt down, adding them to the pile.

“Good.” Tucking away the gun and kicking the blades behind her, Raven rubbed her chin, “Now that we can be rational, I think there may be another way…”

She glanced at her lover, took in the multitudes of scars that graced her brown skin and all the ways she'd admired her throughout their voyage so far. Raven bit back a smile and decided to be the most impulsive she'd ever been in her life (and that was saying a lot, knowing how she lived). The merchant glanced between the two swashbucklers and let the corners of her lips quirk up. She leisurely spoke up, as if they were talking about the weather and not their hasty plans to avoid incarceration, “I heard once that you can’t force someone to testify against their spouse if they get arrested.”

Cass narrowed her eyes at the beginning of the tidbit and Rose scoffed at the end, tossing her hair behind her shoulder. Ravager's mind went to the sheer amount of loot in the cargo (her loot, this ‘captive-alliance’ be damned) and she sneered out, “You expect one of us to leave?”

Humming, Raven shook her head and started pacing in between them, swinging with the ship's steady back and forth. A lazy grin started to curl her lips, “My father is a powerful man. He can ensure that nothing happens to me, lest his whole operation hit a snag."

That got the two pirates to agree for once, if their simultaneous brow jumps meant anything. Rose put a hand on her hip, "Seems like an oversight if you getting compromised brings his whole operation down."

"It won't," Raven shook her head, her lips curling to a not-quite sneer. "But I'm his most efficient merchant across the four continents he trades on. He doesn't want to deal with those minimal losses when I take the fall."

Cass frowned, the tiniest bit of worry slipping into her voice, "When?"

Raven beamed at her, the look turning into a shit-eating grin as she addressed them both, "I’m going to get arrested, the pirate I blackmailed into doing my dirty work will be exonerated, and given that I all but pushed her into doing such crimes my wife won’t have to say a word.”

There was a half second of silence then Cass let out a noisy sigh and covered her face, “No.”

Try as she might, Cass couldn’t keep that undercurrent of curiosity (and, dare she admit, eagerness) out of her voice and Raven’s smile brightened. Honestly, marriage wasn’t the most obvious answer for either of them or their relationship, but that reaction was interesting. The merchant impishly pitched forward, “I know that look in your eye, Miss Bat. You wanna say yes.”

A brown hand came up to cover Raven's lips before she could speak again, “No.”

Cass narrowed her eyes as her love tenderly smooched her palm. Rose crossed her arms and snorted at the blush that was beginning to darken the pirate’s cheeks, “Ugh, she wants to say yes. Gross.”

Mahogany eyes flicked to her rival and hardened, her mind slipping away from romance and back to business. Cass tried to pull her hand away but Raven kissed her palm again as she reiterated, “I won’t deal with her--”

Raven rolled her eyes, half playful and half exasperated, “I'm telling you to deal with me.” Before Cass could argue again the merchant surged on, “You’re the one who captured me. Set me free and you’ll see I find my way back to you.”

She completely ignored Ravager’s gags as she sidled up flush to Cass’ chest, pressing a warm kiss to a scar on the corner of her pirate’s mouth. The Bat went rigid and let out a groan as pale fingers ran through her short hair, calming the messy strands kicked up from the sea’s gales, “Such an awful idea.”

Raven pecked her once, twice. Her lips moved to kiss the fresh cut on her cheek and a devilish curl shaped pink lips as she teased, “But it’s also an engaging one, don’t you think?”

Rose pinched between her brows at that horrid pun. For not the first time she agonized over what character flaw led to her briefly acquainting herself with Raven, let alone what inescapable weakness allowed for her to be so evenly rivalled with this Bat. A huff escaped her as the two kissed again, seemingly unconcerned with their very-near future imprisonments. “You idiots do know there’s no minister on these seas, 'specially not on a pirate's route,” She drawled out.

Pulling away from Cass, gray eyes were bright and calculating. “Au contraire, my cycloped ex,” Raven singsonged. She held up and waggled a finger, “The captain of the ship the marriage happens on is legally allowed to officiate.”

She batted her lashes at the brunette that she hoped to wed, “And if the captain is getting married then her first mate can officiate.”

“You’re the first mate, Raven.” Rose was reaching unprecedented levels of deadpan and the merchant took an arm away from her love to poke Ravager in the sternum, continuing on as if the white-haired pirate hadn’t interrupted, “But, if the captain and the first mate are betrothing each other, then the second mate can officiate.”

Cass let out a disgusted scoff, her arms crossing over her chest. By the way Rose’s nose scrunched up, their third wheel wasn’t partial to her idea either. The Bat clicked her tongue and shot a glare Rose’s way, “She will never be second mate on my ship.”

Raven looked sympathetic at their obvious clash but stayed firm, “She’s gotta be, otherwise we all go to jail, if not 'mysteriously succumb to our injuries' during the voyage back.”

Cass narrowed her eyes at her lover, "Why can't one of the crew do it?"

"We can't let anyone besides us three know how young the marriage is." Raven went back to pacing, her fist slamming into her hand as she put her thoughts to words, "Darling, you know I trust your judgment for all the crew, but if we three are gonna be intertwined like this we can't have any loose ends." Her lips tightened to a line, "If they squeeze Rose, she knows that if she confesses she'll go down with us. The rest of the ship doesn't have that curse on them.”

The two pirates shifted at her logic and Raven stressed, “I know you two despise each other but it has to be her."

At the mention of their rivalry, Rose scratched at her scalp, practically spitting the words out, "Before we even entertain this idiocy, just how are you planning on convincing the cops that you’re the mastermind? You're not exactly leader material, Roth.”

Gray eyes flicked between both pirates and a mischievous smirk curled her lips, “I’ve bested you both before, haven’t I? Many times in a single night, in fact.” Rose scoffed and turned away. Cass flushed at the mention, her fingers drumming on her crossed arms.

Raven snickered at them and held out a hand, “Now c’mon, my Bat…” The merchant batted her lashes down at her lover and waggled her fingers, “Won’t you be my bride?”

#sob19 #summerofbatgals #pirate au #cassrae #rose wilson #cassandra cain #raven #my writing #jesus fuck this got long #it's not cassravenger but we're getting close #'close' being relative ofc. cass and rose are basically mr krabs and plankton #could be bffs if not lovers in another life but for now they get arrogant and boast and petty for everything they want (whether it be the #krabby patty formula or merchant ships or even raven)#i mean cassrae is obvs endgame. it's me we're talking about. but i wanna slowly flesh out how they'd become reluctant buds #like one day they’ll appreciate each other’s relationship w/rae and how it’s legit so nice to have an equal in both piracy/swordfighting #but for now they just d e s p i s e each other. every interaction is a slight #and like.. y'all've probably noticed already but it's official #i've accepted that i love giving rae guns in my aus. i should just bite the bullet (lmao) and do it for all the ones that can fit #also it's fun fact time! did y'all know that antigua is pronounced an-tee-gah?#when the brits took over they did their whole 'pronounce the u unnecessarily thing' that they're wont to do. but it's w r o n g #literally all of my mom's fam is from antigua and i gotta aunt in london so i've heard this 'dammed an-tee-gwah' rant plenty of times #honestly it's fucking hilarious im pretty sure the fam's got a voodoo doll somewhere bc of it lmao #but the more you know 🌠🌠🌠

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mxlxdroit · 5 years

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black sails s1e8 “live”blog

context: i watched about half of this episode because i thought it was the first episode (who knows why), and then watched the full thing with my family this afternoon, so this really isn’t a liveblog. but hoo boy do i have thoughts, so here’s an abridged version

jack’s the perfect person to run this brothel, especially with his partnership with max. also, his little voices when he’s mocking people are so funny. that said, the choices they make here come back to bite them in the ass in the next few episodes. they’re new at this and it shows

everyone hates john silver and it is SO funny

knowing what’s going to happen to mr gates makes the scene where him and flint are drinking together and swapping stories really sad :( gates is flint’s only real friend- we never see him this relaxed and happy with anyone else. gates is also one of the most decent men in this show- spending two weeks in new york trying to deliver a dead friend’s letter is uncommonly kind

‘keep wondering’ flint is such a BITCH and he KNOWS it. i love him

i legit thought silver didn’t know the schedule and was stringing flint along the first two times i watched the front half of this ep. i have a lot more respect for him now

calling a dead friend a ‘lying sack of shit’ is so funny but SO crass. also weirdly affectionate

‘there are no legacies in this life, are there? no monuments, no history. just the water. it pays us, and then it claims us; swallows us whole, as if we’d never been here at all.’

i love where they take anne and jack’s arguments/anne’s inconsistent attitude re: max- it’s an unconventional resolution to the very boring love triangle/jealousy deal i thought it would become. also add a tick to the ‘fuck you, jack’ counter

i had no idea how they were going to resolve this. the ship just wasn’t fuckin there lol it feels like the rug’s been pulled out from under you. the music... the whole season of buildup... it’s a great (horrible) moment

mr scott i love you, you’re the best, and you deserve better than... everything

charles fucking vane. i really don’t like him. the best part of his character is how absolutely whipped he is for eleanor

fkjsfsfjfsd gates is RIGHT of course but mr dufresne won’t fucking listen and has to mutiny in the middle of this incredibly important mission, at the most important time... the first time i’ve really liked silver. also, flint is inhuman he can swim while shot

flint sounds batshit crazy next to mr gates. unfortch. also, not looking forward to seeing what flint’s like when silver is his closest advisor, he’s going to go off the fuckin deep end

wish i could take a screenshot- there’s a shot of flint where a shadow from his hair meets a slice of light going under his nose up across his cheekbone. it’s rly cool

flint is a weird dude. i don’t think he likes killing, at least not in close combat. he certainly hates to lose people he loves (esp if he... kills them 😬)

vane: i’ve been watching you since you were thirteen! isn’t that romantic? eleanor: what the fuck you’re blackmailing me i hate you. vane: hurr durr that’s hot

literally everything goes to shit in this episode, huh

except max and eleanor’s relationship, sort of? they’re talking again, and kind of at peace with where they’re at in the moment

‘on sand, nothing is fixed. nothing is permanent. and fates change so quickly...’

‘today, you have everything you ever wanted’ uh. not really. neither of you have each other anymore, and i think that’s more important to you than you realized

flint wakes up shirtless and injured for what, the third time now? this whole show is just an excuse to have men with long hair walk around either half-naked or soaking wet, glower menacingly, and be covered in blood, and i respect that

alright that’s a wrap on season one! season one had a lot of setup, but i trust the show to use that for good payoffs and development in later seasons. also, fully three quarters of the female characters are wlw, and i really respect that. on to season two!

#chris liveblogs black sails #black sails #chris watches tv

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lizzybeth1986 · 6 years

Text

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 3, Chapter 17

• I'm basically sitting here and thinking "jeez, these guys really want us to know FOR SURE that they don't give a shit about their lone female LI, do they". Like, you gotta admire the dedication this team has to the cause. Like, the audacity of them to put out an entire extra Drake scene while not speaking a word about Hana's sexuality in canon, esp if she isn't your fiancée. That probably takes guts. Or maybe not. Maybe all it really takes is actually giving a damn (or not) about your characters.

• Title: Save the Date. Alternative Title: Proof That Team TRR Has Excellent Memory, Unless Your Name Is Hana Lee.

• The TRR team everytime they need to do their homework on Liam or Drake:

The TRR team everytime they need to do their homework on Maxwell or Hana (but especially Hana):

• So I assumed based on the description and the title (Save the Date), that this would include a RoE-esque selection of dress, decor, cake, all free except for a few choices. So far all we've been able to select for our wedding is food. Today we choose cake via a diamond option, our maids of honor, the kids who will carry the ring down the aisle and our officiant. And gifts for the LIs.

• Madeleine thinks Gladys has "risen" to her "level". Madeleine has a level???

• Okay so we're doing a publicity run of our wedding preps. Are we that desperate to show the rest of the country how much last-minute-wedding-planning we can cram in two hours??

•

Terrence, is this your summer job?? Also, Tina, girl, I saved your ass last book after you screwed me over. The least you could do is say "thank you, O Great One and Saviour of Us All" Jeez, what do I have to do to be worshipped around here these days 🙄

•

PURPLE 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 (Sorry I love that colour it's my favouritest). But wait why am I paying for a dress if I'm going to the bridal boutique to pick out my wedding gown...right? Right?? (Orrr am I going to get a lovely fancy wedding gown for free??? 😀 Who woulda thunk!) (...oh. I have to wait till next week to see my gown. Okay. Okay. 😑)

• So we're now here in this boutique with half the court and Ana de Luca. First on our agenda: the maid of honour. If you're marrying Liam or Drake, you get to choose between Hana, Kiara, Olivia, Penelope and Maxwell. All good options xD If you're marrying Maxwell you get those four. If you're marrying Hana, you get three: Olivia, Penelope and Maxwell. Kiara isn't available because by default Hana picks her to be her MOH. Hana is clearly very, very close to Kiara and values her. Way more than the rest of us in the group seem to do, anyway.

The choices I want for Esther are Hana or Kiara. I love both. I'm so glad they included Maxwell, I like Penelope, Olivia is amazing, and all their reactions are wonderful, but these two are my favourites. (Though I'd say Esther would definitely pick Hana. She's closest to her, even calling herself "the Elizabeth to Hana's Jane").

• Once that's done, the LI gets to choose their Best Man/MOH 2. Liam chooses Drake, and he mostly behaves a little surprised and afraid that he might embarrass Liam on his wedding, which is quite the sweet sentiment and a little sad. Drake chooses Liam and from what I see, the narrative makes it a point to mention that Liam has to force his happiness because he's still not over the MC. He shows this even if the MC has not had romance points with him. Maxwell chooses Drake, specifying that even if they weren't related by marriage, he'd still consider Drake family. Drake is surprised and a little touched by the sentiment. Hana, as I mentioned before, chooses Kiara.

• Time for our ring bearers! The number of choices you have depends on whether you bought the corgi in Book 2 or not. If you do, he shows up as an extra option. The other choices are:

1. Bartie, who will be carried along the aisle via Savannah. I'm getting nightmares of the few times we took my daughter V to church and...nope. Sorry Bartie.

2. Cordonian children. Bertrand tells us that using Cordonian kids, as ring bearers and flower girls, would count as "a sign of commitment to the common people". My headcanon for Esther was that she wanted a mix of both Cordonian and New Orleans traditions (she grew up in the French Quarter), so she took every possible chance she could to highlight how Cordonian a wedding it was so the NOLA elements wouldn't completely alienate people. So she obviously chose this option.

• We now move to the last bit. If you're marrying Maxwell or Hana, Liam automatically becomes an option for the role of officiant, since it is mandatory to have a royal officiate the ceremony. If you're marrying Drake, Liam's not included because he is already Drake's best man by default. The other two options are Leo and Regina. If you choose Regina, the MC views it as fitting, given that Constantine would have been the officiant were he still alive. Regina in that sense would be a fitting stand-in. If you choose Leo, the MC maintains that he would lend "humour and levity to the ceremony" and that's something they all need at the moment.

•

This man and his "my love"s slay me every time.

• BAKLAVA REFERENCE FOR LIAM. ALL THE WAY BACK FROM ROE BOOK 2.

• Esther Noelle DuPont would NEVER leave wedding gown stuff for the last minute. Nor would she wind up on the eve of her wedding not knowing who was designing her dress until the day before. She would be badgering Liam about the cake way before. She would be badgering him about the decor. She'd be badgering him about every little detail. She'd be bridezilla. No way would she be chilling the day before her wedding, ice tea in hand.

• But they did remember that Ana de Luca was originally introduced as a fashion designer from way back in MW! Madeleine also gives Ana some of Krona's finest lace, which makes me wonder if it's a tradition to have lace from Krona on a royal/aristocratic wedding gown. My theory about this gown for the next chapter is that it might be the same for everyone, but will have additional elements behind a paywall. Or will she have options between two or three gowns? Idk.

• We get to choose how we want to be announced, and then comes the diamond option - choosing our cake with the LI.

(Screenshots - @kennaxval for Hana, and YouTube channels Vika Avey for Maxwell and HIMEME for Drake)

This is the breakdown of what this scene looks like in each playthrough:

Liam

Cake flavours: Vanilla Chantilly (white), Mocha Fudge (chocolate) and Sweetened Cordonian Ruby (pink). Liam loves the vanilla one for its subtle and complex flavours, considers the mocha one "strong, daring...somewhat sensual" and finds the pink one full of surprises (due to the Cordnian Ruby flavouring) and that "there's more to it than meets the eye". If you notice all of these are flavours Liam has an established preference for (vanilla, coffee, apples).

Decorations: The Royal design reminds Liam of his parents, so there is an element of nostalgia still there. He loves the colours of the Fairytale design, finds them "fantastically beautiful" and thinks it would be good inspiration in case they would like to expand the palace quarters.

Cake Filling: The filling options are the same across the LIs. Vanilla buttercream, rich chocolate ganache and strawberry mousse. In Liam's case, you can either feed ganache off of each other, simply try each flavour, or have him surprise you. I love my Kinky King so I knew "surprise me" would involve a blindfold somewhere 😂 (Love that option. It's quite sexy). I've also noticed that only Liam seems to have 3 options for the ganache tasting, while the rest have just two.

You also get to choose between Cordonian Ruby Pie and Baklava for a surprise dessert!

Maxwell:

Cake flavours: Coconut (white), Passionfruit (pink), and Spicy Chocolate (chocolate). He thinks of the coconut one as being "pina colada in cake form", loves the element of surprise in the passionfruit and thinks its "non traditional" flavour describes them as an aristocratic couple perfectly, and just says "wow" about the chocolate. The baker, who remembers Maxwell once trying to surprise Bertrand with cheetah cake on the latter's birthday, even sends one as a bit of an inside joke.

Cake Decorations: Maxwell jokes about the royal design being more decked out than some estates but thinks that "nothing says you're a big deal like gilded flowers, gold and jewels you can eat". He loves the castle in the Fairytale design and likes to imagine there are little cake people walking in there.

Surprise desserts for Maxwell include Cordonian Ruby Pie and Cheetah Cake.

Hana

Cake flavours: Strawberry (pink), Madagascar Vanilla (white), and Devil's Food Cake (chocolate). She thinks strawberry makes her think of it as "something...different. Adventurous". She thinks of the Devil's Food cake as "daring" and loves the vanilla because classic white cakes remind her of storybook weddings, and on cajoling from the MC to tell her honestly what flavours are her favourite Hana speaks of vanilla in a manner similar to Liam's.

Decorations: Hana is wowed by the artistry of the Royal design, confessing that she has always wanted to learn to make icing pearls as perfect as the ones on the cake. There is a tiny conversation about her baking that takes a minute, tops. The fairytale option feels whimsical and reminds her of that saying about "building castles in the clouds".

The surprise options for dessert are Cordonian Ruby Pie and Hot Chocolate.

Drake

Cake flavours: Pink Velvet (pink), Old Fashioned Chocolate Cake (chocolate) and Tahitian Vanilla Cake (white). As we all must know by now, he is okay with the flavour but finds pink "girly", doesn't have much to say about the vanilla cake and the chocolate makes him very nostalgic, because the chocolate cake was similar to the recipe his mother would use for his or Savannah's birthday cakes.

Decorations: Drake has reservations about the grandness of the Royal design but thinks it works since the occasion itself is an elaborate one. He admires the structure and craftsmanship of the Fairytale design and both him and the MC speak about the cake reminding them of the towers in Valtoria.

The surprise options for dessert are Cordonian Ruby Pie and S'mores.

• I've noticed that the story clearly references Liam's love for baklava and Maxwell's love for cheetah cakes in this chapter, but for Hana and Drake, they use desserts from their first scenes in Book 2 (where Hana prepares hot chocolate for the MC, and Drake toasts s'mores for her).

• Hmm so apparently there's some sort of surprise that all four LIs are planning for the MC. I'm guessing we'll find out next chapter.

•

My favourite scene in this chapter. I loved how Kiara immediately got protective of Savannah and made it clear that she cared about making Savannah comfortable. I think it's also pretty cool that they remembered to reference the Savannah/Kiara friendship hinted at in Book 2, and it looks like Penelope was quite fond of her too.

• The MC now needs to run to a gift store, because Madeleine lets her know at the nth moment that Cordonian tradition dictates you get gifts for the bridegroom/bride and your closest attendants. Savannah offers to help, in exchange for a little advice on her love life.

• We first pick up wedding favours at a patisserie (chocolates or macarons). I had Esther pick macarons coz she has a liking for French cuisine and food, and macarons are delicate, delicious and versatile.

• We then pass by a shop called "The Gilded Apple" that sells beautiful and rare antiques. Olivia, who loves weapons and artifacts, and is hoping she will find replicas there, is understandably excited. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to find any (unless she did off-screen and we didn't know? Poor Olivia. Why was it so hard to find Nevrakis artifacts/replicas there?)

• So even if you buy that diamond choice to help Bertrand woo Savannah at the Costume Gala, she confesses there are still barriers. Savannah fangirling over Bertrand's "stern, yet sexy eyebrows" is a Mood™.

• Savannah tells us the entire story of how she fell in love with Bertrand, pointing out that she hero-worshipped him and thought him glamorous, and was amazed that he was so protective of her. The MC has a range of joke replies to suggest to Savannah, before telling her seriously that she should confess to him what is in her heart. But my big question is: why are almost all the BertVannah scenes for free? Why couldn't you use that free scene to...idk...properly develop Hana's character maybe??

• So here are our gifts for the LIs:

A Historical Tome for Liam. This is a hand-written history book with a blank chapter left presumably on purpose. The MC points out that he will appreciate either the rarity of the book, or the empty pages. The second option is my favourite, because the blank chapter seems to signify that Cordonia's story is "far from over" and it is "upto Liam to write this next chapter".

Maxwell will get a statue of his namesake. Savannah speculates that even though he looks like little more than an enthusiastic partygoer on the outside, both he and Bertrand can be fierce in their own ways. The MC gets to joke about what the Beaumonts might do with this statue of their ancestor, including imagining a half-drunk Maxwell using his namesake's spear to pop open champagne from a ladder.

Drake's Marshmallows Inside A Whiskey Box is quite funny and the MC gets to roast him a bit. She jokes about how it symbolizes what a softie he is on the inside even though he looks tough on the outside. It can either be spoken of as an inside joke, or as the MC showing him how well she knows him.

Hana's Telescope...well. It doesn't reflect her actual, genuine interests or personal/family history like the other three do, but instead involves some generic messages about "following your path" or "searching out your passions". Which is...eh. Tbh it sounds more like the MC is buying her a Hallmark card or something. This gift doesn't tell us much about HER, but then again when you don't develop your female LI with enough substance, that's what's bound to happen. You'll just throw over any piece of random bullshit to make do.

• I like the little story Kiara gets with her dad using that telescope, though. The one where he fooled her as a child into thinking she could see all of Europe using a telescope. I like the dynamic of that entire family. Sure they can appear businesslike to some but the love and the closeness is clearly there.

• Okay before I say anything...CONGRATS Drake stans. Nice to see so many of your MCs become Mrs Walkers now.

•

(A huge thank you to VioletFlipFlops for this screenshot)

Okay so if you're a Drake stan, you get an extra scene. The MC wants to give Drake a wedding he will be happy with, and Drake would love it too, so Maxwell suggests they elope and he will be their minister/officiant (apparently he got himself ordained to officiate over a wedding between peacocks). So they go to a nearby cliff, where you can have a lovely view of the sunset. Drake brings with him a horse named Lone Star who came all the way from his mother's Texas ranch. They have their secret country wedding and the screenshots I saw look like the stuff out of every Drake stan's dreams. Story wise, this is important for Drake's arc because it shows that he has found his place and he doesn't have to completely leave behind who he is to be the man the MC wants. Both the duel and this impromptu secret wedding bring his story full-circle beautifully.

I had to leave this scene midway though. I couldn't stomach it, couldn't stand it, and for the first time in forever I left viewing a diamond scene before it got over (or before it got to sex if they weren't my LI). I felt a little sick and quite frustrated tbh. And it really isn't because of Drake. My problem here goes deeper than that.

• From the little that I saw, Maxwell was amazing as well. He set aside the bromance jokes for the day because "this isn't about me, it's about the two of you". Oh Maxwell. You really do shine when the writers allotted for you actually bother, and they didn't do you justice this book.

• It's now almost night and our LIs have returned from whatever surprise thingummy they were planning. Everyone's happy and excited and advising the MC to take rest and Mara is here to lead everyone back to the palace. And then a crowd that first looks like a bunch of excited onlookers closes in on the MC, intimidating her, and from among the lot we see...TERRANCE. WITH A GUN. AND A PAPER FULL OF INFO ON OUR WEDDING PLANNING. WTF.

• YOU SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL DOING YOUR HOMEWORK AND PLAYING CLARINET TERRENCE. YOU'RE GROUNDED.

• The tone of the chapter's end sounds like there will be some level of investigation going on but we can't entirely be sure. In any case, I don't know how they will handle both this and the rest of the wedding prep. Let's see.

General Thoughts:

• We'd better get lingerie. I've been through enough I want the kind of sex where my king rips off my clothes and breaks my bed and makes me scream and Gladys has invest in earplugs next and...yeah. I need the right lingerie for that.

• RoE Book 3 could have been better in certain respects but one of the things they did really well was to spread out the wedding preps. It's tougher to do that here, because of all the subplots, but leaving it until so close to the end wasn't exactly the best idea either.

• I'll be honest: the "girly pink cake" comment irked me but didn't entirely anger me. On one level I hate it when people say stuff like that because I'm a girl who grew up hearing those things and I'm a mum who doesn't want my children to internalize that. It may sound like a small thing, like a casual preference, but stereotyping and forcing people into boxes start out with things we believe are "small"...and whether you think he's that kind of person or not, bottomline is the writers shouldn't have had such a massively popular character say that. It could have been ten times easier to just have him say he doesn't like that colour very much or something. See? Crisis averted.

• However, I didn't have as much of a problem with this scene as I did with, say, that scene where the MC and Drake talk to Kiara in Lythikos. Frankly for me, the fact that Drake's sympathy towards Kiara was conditional and depended solely on the MC's responses was way more disturbing. In one option, it's established that Drake and Kiara both struggled mentally in the aftermath of the attack, and that he understands it's difficult for her to get out of that trauma so easily.

But then...if the MC is insensitive and trauma-minimizing, she gets to question Kiara about not being driven enough, about "what will people say if you spend a crisis hiding away in your home?", and Drake agrees. He doesn't contest what she's saying, he doesn't challenge her, he doesn't seem to even have a mind of his own in this sequence. In this option, the MC and Drake face no repercussions at all for essentially minimizing her experience and not addressing their lack of concern for her safety, after finding out about her PTSD. My expectation when I eventually chose that option was that Drake - as someone who went through something similar - would correct the MC, and Kiara would give her the tongue lashing of a lifetime. But no, in that scene Drake is interested in validating this woman's trauma only on someone else's say-so. If I - personally - were to have a problem with Drake as a character, this scene would highlight why. And even then I know the core of the problem is not Drake. Not really. It's not as much Drake as it is the fact that the writers themselves were only interested in lip-service for this scene, not genuine validation (which is why normally sensitive people like Hana and Liam don't seem to question the group's approach to Kiara much, and nor does Maxwell). The writers possibly didn't think Kiara's experience deserved the level of sympathy that was present by default in Penelope's scene at Portavira (which is why I HIGHLY regret speaking positively about the Lythikos conversation in that chapter's QT now).

• But my biggest problem is not Drake himself. The way he is written wouldn't have been a problem at all, under different circumstances. My biggest problem is the discrepancy in how the LIs are treated in the books, how some get quality content and carefully developed character arcs while others are simply given lazy writing. And right now, the differences are so obvious and so glaring they're impossible to ignore.

• Drake got a whole extra scene today. A whole extra scene, on the logic that unlike the other three, he would be way more comfortable with a private ceremony involving just him and the MC (he says as much in Lythikos, both to Kiara and to the MC). Normally, I would have probably been happy about this. It works for Drake's character and story, and brings it full-circle to that photoshoot they had in Chapter 2 on some levels. From the little I managed to read, I can tell it was written really, really well.

And that's the problem. Over here, we have the team working on AN ENTIRE EXTRA SCENE for this character, after chapters and chapters of well developed scenes that acquire depths and layers if he is marrying the MC. Drake's narrative tends to have extra layers stitched into it - the expectations of being a Duke, the reluctance to let go of who he is while embracing his role as a future noble, the insults he faces from people like Neville and how he manages to rise above them by proving himself. Hell, they even ensure that they reference his bond with Liam and how his relationship with the MC complicates things. In this chapter alone, Liam's pain is highlighted differently in Drake's playthrough compared to the others (he shows some level of heartbreak when Drake asks him to be his best man, compared to when Hana or Maxwell ask him to be their officiant). The group chats, too, highlight Liam being part of the chat in the Hana and Maxwell playthroughs, and completely absent on Drake's:

(Screenshots from (2) @kennaxval (Hana), (3) YouTube Channels Vika Avey (Maxwell) and (4) HIMEME (Drake))

I wouldn't be surprised if they had some kind of a closure scene between Drake and Liam on this account later, while having him be absolutely okie-dokie in the Hana and Maxwell playthroughs. That's the level of attention Drake's story is being given (you can argue that Liam's relationship with Drake is different, and you'd be right, but it just goes to show how much WORK went into building this character).

And this is not restricted just to Drake. Liam has way more in terms of content as well and his scenes are of great quality. He has practically the entire book revolving around him! The book aggressively pushes him as an LI until almost the end of Book 2. The narrative has made an effort to view Liam as someone intimately involved and invested in the history of his country - it shows in most of his individual scenes, and in his cake scene and gift this chapter. Even Maxwell, who normally hasn't been given much attention this book, gets memories and some historical stuff this chapter (such as the ancestor who is his namesake and the story about the cheetah cake).

On the other hand...you have Hana. Whose canon sexuality - and her larger struggle with it - is hardly addressed in the books. Whose experience with bullying at the hands of Madeleine has been largely forgotten, even as we're constantly expected to protect Penelope from the same person. Who has gotten some of the most lackluster scenes in the series. Whose character arc got the laziest wrap-up you could imagine, who now doesn't even get original lines to describe a cake flavour she likes, or a gift that adequately reflects who she is. Whose story is given lesser focus than secondary characters like Penelope and Madeleine. PENELOPE. AND MADELEINE.

• Forget about every other chapter and take just this one as an example.

Notice how there is very little genuine personalization or memories attached either to Hana's cake scene - she simply echoes what Liam says about the flavour of vanilla when speaking about her love for classic white cake, and briefly mentions baking - or her gift which is a telescope, and which the MC attaches some generic saying/phrase to. The gift assigned for her itself is SO random, has little to no connection to Hana, and is a very odd choice for a gift. Couple that with the Hallmark-esque sayings that the MC wants to push forward, and compare it to her thought process for any one of the other LI gifts. You will see the difference.

(While you're at it, also check out this story by @i-dream-so-i-write called "The Perfect Gift". It's a rewriting of the scene for Hana's gift)

There is no throwback to, say, a time when they all had to bake pies for Queen Regina, and the latter praised Hana. Or to stories narrated to her. Or to things the MC knows she likes to do. No memories connected to Hana's grandmother, who she was obviously close to. Nothing that tells us anything new about her.

This isn't the first time this is happening. And it definitely won't be the last.

• And it's not as if they don't get any money from Hana's scenes. Even when she isn't picked as a final choice on a very large scale, she still manages to make it to the top ten in terms of diamond spending. She may not be making as much bank as Liam and Drake, but she IS clearly making bank. I'm surprised that's possible because a lot of the writing for her since Book 2 isn't worth the money people like me are constantly spending on her scenes. So I can't even buy the excuse that she's written badly because she's not popular. Clearly there are enough people invested enough in her to buy her scenes despite the lack of effort.

I wish I had more to talk about besides these complaints about how Hana is written, but I'm really not left with much of a choice. I'd like to close this QT by mentioning just one thing: the original line up of LIs given to us was Liam, Drake and Hana. One of them has the entire plot of the story revolving around him. The other has consistent and well-written character development, including an extra secret wedding scene and vast differences in his dialogue with the MC based on his relationship with her. The third LI...is given less attention and validation than at least two secondary characters in the book.

All these three were characters meant to be LIs from the very beginning. All of them made a good amount of money and had great potential for growth. So why is it that only one of the original lineup is given only scraps, while the other two get an all-you-can-eat buffet?

#the royal romance #long post #Liam x mc #king liam #hana x mc #hana lee #drake x mc #drake walker #Maxwell x mc #Maxwell beaumont #Olivia nevrakis #TRR Penelope #trr kiara #Hana rant #TRR quick thoughts #quick thoughts

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sannisideup · 6 years

Text

smile

chapter 2: just lay with me, waste the night away with me

find chapter 1 here (tumblr) and here (ao3).

Just lay with me, waste the night away with me

When he wakes up the next morning, he wakes up without a pounding headache and the urge to throw up repeatedly, and at first he wonders if something's wrong with him. But then he remembers how he's drank drastically less the night before than he does on a daily basis, all because she's forgiven him for something he has yet to forgive himself for.

"Fuck," he mutters to himself, and lifts himself out of his bed, running his pale fingers through his paler hair, and fisting it lightly. No matter what he does, he can hardly make sense of the witch's words. How can she have forgiven him, him, the man who had stood by and done nothing as his aunt continuously tortured her? How can she have forgiven her childhood bully who had treated her like dirt and called her slurs that she so clearly doesn't deserve?

He curses a few more times before he's already making his way to the living room where his self-made potions that make him just forget are scattered across the small table he transfigured a few months earlier from a spare pillow.

The potions only take a few minutes to take effect, and before he knows it, he's feeling much better. He no longer has to think about watching one of his closest friends die in a frenzy of fire, or remember the fact that he's a destitute wizard a month's rent away from being homeless.

When the haze lifts, he's ended up somewhere he's never gone before. The lights in the establishment are dim, and suddenly he's being dragged by the arm, and before he can say anything he's face to face with the curly haired witch from last night.

"What are you doing here?" she hisses at him, her brown eyes boring into his, glaring at him, reminding him of the night he'd watched her scream until her screams had turned into sobs.

"The same as you," he replies coolly, glaring right back at her.

"Right," she says, narrowing her eyes at him. "Just stay here, I'll be right back." Before he blinks, she disappears. He finally realizes he's in some sort of nightclub, perhaps more expensive than the one he's usually holed up in, as he's never been in here before. Regardless, he finds himself ordering a shot of the strongest drink available. The glass a quarter inch away from his lips when she reappears.

"Easy there," she says, before ordering the same. He tips the bitter liquid into his mouth and relishes in the burn that makes it way down his throat. "Three times in one month, got to be a record, right?"

"Huh?" He's already signaled the bartender for another drink.

"We've randomly bumped into each other three times in a single month. Also, seriously, those drinks are really strong, trust me. They're a one way ticket to a black void in your memory." She gives him a small smile, and his heart flips.

"That's the plan, love," he says, tipping the second shot.

"Great. Cheers," she says, lifting the small glass in his direction before it makes it's way down his throat. For a moment he's mesmerized by the way her tongue peeks out to lick a couple of drops of the alcohol on her lip. He shakes himself before downing a couple more drinks. He's pretty sure she's ordered and drank just as many.

"So what makes you want to take a ticket to a black void in your memory?" he finds himself asking, his words slurring, when he's pretty sure it's his fifth drink. Could be the seventh too, he's never kept count.

She giggles a bit, which makes his heart ache, before she replies, "Life."

"Cheers to that," he's saying, already feeling a little more alive and a little less like he's being smothered by life itself.

When the bar gets busier and they can't catch the bartender's attention, she's asking him a question that makes him flinch, and suddenly the line of glasses in front of him that are blurring together aren't enough, and he needs more, more, more.

"S-Sh-She's d-dead," he replies, the words getting stuck in his throat, his eyes watering, and he's making his way out, her voice a soft whisper against the screams in his head. When he closes his eyes, he can often still see the way the disease had completely ravaged his mother's body, when it gets too quiet, he can still hear her screams, the shrill noises made as the disease ate away at her bones.

He only realizes he's left the establishment when the cool air hits his face and suddenly he's heaving, puking his guts out, his body shaking. In a split second he's back at the manor, he's kneeling next to his mother's frail body, holding a bucket, and he doesn't even realize when the tears join the vomit. It's only when the brunette witch is running a hand down his back that he realizes that he's screaming himself hoarse and she's making soothing noises.

"I'm so, so sorry," she says when he looks up at her.

"Please make me forget," he pleads, his voice hoarse. He wipes his mouth against the sleeve of his robes before he begs her again. "Please. Make me forget. I, I c-can't."

Suddenly he's tasting strawberry chapstick and the bitter shots he'd just consumed minutes before. It shouldn't be, but it's the best thing he's tasted. And then, just as quickly, there's a quick apology, and she's walking away, and he knows he wants more.

"Spend the night with me," he's requesting, tugging on her arm.

"I-we're both drunk. This isn't wise," she tells him, softly unwrapping his fingers around her wrist.

"Fuck, I don't want to be fucking wise. I," his voice catches for a second, "I know I'm not worth your attention. Just spend the night with me. I won't touch you if you don't want me to. Please, please, please," he's pleading, and then he's in her apartment tasting the bitter strawberry-alcohol mix.

They trip over each other, their clothes slowly falling to the floor, one after another. And then she's screaming his name and he's forgetting in a wholly different way.

When he wakes up the next morning, his head hurts and he feels nauseous. A soft groan next to him brings back flashes of the night before, of smooth curves, and soft lips, and nails raking down his back.

He's trying to memorize her face, the way her bottom lip juts out slightly more than the top, the way her brown eyelashes rest on her cheeks, when he's facing bright, brown eyes instead.

"Hi." His voice is hoarse and she flashes him a smile that sucks all the oxygen out of his lungs, and he wants to tuck away this memory into the safest recesses of his mind, because he knows that this is it, that this is all he gets, all that someone like him will ever get. It's way more than he deserves.

And he knows it's wrong, and his head hurts more than ever but he's still inching his face closer to hers, and when she doesn't move away, he's kissing her again, his fingers making their way to her hair, and she's kissing him back, and then he feels teeth, and he's losing himself in her all over again, and he could die like this; he could live like this.

When they're sweaty and lying down next to each other, he confesses, "You make me want to live again."

She flashes him a brilliant smile and he basks in it, and he feels alive, and he finds himself smiling back, and it's been way too long since his muscled have moved this way, and he can feel it, he knows it, deep in his bones, that she's his, that no matter what, he can live, he will live, if only for her, but he can finally breathe once again.

Three years later, he tastes her strawberry chapstick and their wedding cake and he thinks of one thing only.

Mine.

1370 words

so i wrote this chapter the same day i posted the first chapter (i’m so happy i actually completed this bc tbh after i wrote the first chapter i wasn’t so sure i would actually get around to writing the second one, but i did so i’m proud of myself). the reason i didn’t post both chapters on the same day is to leave all of you in Anticipation. no but fr, bc it’s multi (dual?) chapter, i wanted it to be published separately otherwise it’s just like a one shot separated into half, sort of.

also if any of you have read my other fics, you know that i love writing without using any actual names (esp of characters) and i believe this is the longest fic i’ve written that has not mentioned any character names wholly throughout.

i hope you guys liked it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

~ lots of love!!!

p.s. don’t forget to double-tap & reblog thanks!

p.p.s. sometimes i re-read something i wrote & am genuinely surprised by how well-written it is. if that even makes sense lol

p.p.p.s. this is the first time i posted on ao3 first & then tumblr lol.

#dramione #dramione fanfiction #fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #draco x hermione #draco fanfiction #hermione fanfiction #draco malfoy #hermione granger #angst #fanfiction angst #harry potter angst #dramione angst #dramione angst fanfiction

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codvanguardaimbotmodusb · 2 years

Text

COD Vanguard Aimbot ESP Mod Menu USB Undetetected

Aimbot Download:

PS4

Xbox One

PC/WINDOWS

Mod Status:UNDETECTED & ANTIBAN ENABLED

Mods Featurelist

Aimbot

Aimbot (Automatically aim at players when they are visible) with Bullet Prediction

Aimbot Mode

Full (Always aim at players)

On Zoom (Only aim at players when you are zooming)

Smooth Aim (Slows down aimbot movement)

Smooth Aim Acceleration (Decrease smooth aim after aimbot locks)

Aim Bone and Bone Scan (Select where the aimbot should aim at)

Silent Aim (Hit targets without aiming at them + does not snap)

Auto Fire (Shoot when the aimbot has a target)

Fire Delay (Wait before shooting automatically)

Auto Zoom (Automatically zoom as soon as the aimbot has a target)

Zoom Delay (Wait before automatically zooming)

Aim Key (Only aim while you are holding a key/mouse button)

Aim FOV (Select the field of view the aimbot should search for targets in)

Aim Priority (Prioritize targets closest to crosshair or closest to you)

Aim on friendly players

Aim on enemies

Triggerbot

Triggerbot (Automatically shoot when you are aiming at a player)

Triggerbot Mode (On Zoom or always)

Fire Delay (Wait before shooting)

Trigger Key (Only trigger while you are holding a key/mouse button)

Trigger on friendly players

Trigger on enemies

ESP (3D Radar)

Player Box (Draws 2D or 3D Boxes around players)

Player Skeleton (Visualises players skeletons)

Player Name (Draws player names)

Player Distance (Shows how far a player is away from you)

Player Weapon (See which weapon a player is using)

Player Line (Draws lines from you to other players)

Grenade Name (See dangerous grenades)

Grenade Distance (See how far grenades are away)

Grenade Line (Draws lines to grenades)

Item Name (See weapons and other items on the ground)

Item Distance (See how far items are away)

Item Line (Draws lines to items)

Show friendly players

Show enemies

ESP Range Limit

Configurable Font Size

2D Radar

Show Players

Show Grenades

Show Friendly (Shows friendly things on the radar)

Show Enemy (Show enemy things on the radar)

Show Window (Draws borders around the radar)

Show Cross (Draws a crosshair in the middle of the radar)

Show FOV (Draws your Field of View on the radar)

Show Dot (Draws a dot in the center of the radar)

Configurable Radar Size

Configurable Radar Range

Configurable Dot Size

Center Radar (Puts the radar right in the middle of your screen)

Misc

NEW: Zombie Mode Support

NEW: Unlock All

NEW: No Recoil (Removes weapon recoil)

NEW: No Spread (Removes weapon spread)

Rapid Fire (Hold the fire button to shoot rapidly)

Crosshair (Shows a crosshair in the middle of your screen)

Configurable Crosshair Size

Call of Duty Vanguard is the latest campaign that has hit the gameplay airwaves, and many gamers are already vying for the cheats and hacks to crack some of this campaign’s toughest series and battles. Though there are concerns in some quarters on how these hacks are ruining the game, I owe you the duty of putting you through some COD Vanguard cheats that are available to gamers – this is the reason I have decided to write this very article.

COD Vanguard Aimbot

Call of Duty Vanguard Aimbot is directed at one particular purpose – ensuring that your target is well-marked, with the enemies getting hit with excellent precision. A good COD Vanguard aimbot should have certain features that allow for its effectiveness. One of the most important of these (features) is the FOV (field of view) which can be adjusted to ensure that the aimbot is perfectly locked on the enemies. The recoil controller also exists to help you keep the aim at a level range when using weapons such as the automatic rifle and machine guns – either the LMGs or SMGs. This controller basically steadies your shooting to guarantee that the enemies are met with deadly and on-point blows. It should not go without stating that the recoil controller is valuable for activating the NoRecoil COD Vanguard hack – a viable hack to have in a high-action combat setting.

The auto locker is also integrated onto the aimbot to keep the aim pinned on the enemy – a sure kill is the end goal. The ‘bone’ is available on the COD Vanguard aimbot to help you fix your target on the head, neck, or chest of a target. There are yet features that would work to help you set the acceleration time, speed, and distance of the aim. Aimbot is quite cool to use, but I will recommend that you use it in a realistic manner and this may mean not setting an aim that is beyond 50 meters. You may even get away with some long-range shots using aimbot as you outfit your shotgun with a buck slug featuring slug round. Again, a COD Vanguard aimbot is bound to deliver deadlier kills as the caliber of your weapons can be adjusted for better bullet penetration.

COD Vanguard Wallhack

Getting to know the elements on the other side of walls and catching the enemies unaware offers a notable competitive advantage in any call of duty series, and this is what the COD Vanguard wallhack delivers. With this COD Vanguard cheat, you can also x-ray solid structures to gain knowledge of the hazards and/or enemies that are on the prowl. More so, considering that COD Vanguard is designed for tactical demolition as you blast through walls and doors, you will certainly be able to have a great kill with the enemies being hit devastatingly. Summarily, COD Vanguard wallhack helps you to plan your attack [without wasting your weapons] and also keep out of harm’s way to some degree. Well, you cannot really be out of danger site though since COD Vanguard has got a World War II setting – so, be alert and keep your eyes on the enemies.

Call of Duty: Vanguard 2D Radar

If you play the game, especially for the first few times, the other players are going to annihilate you. How do you go around this? Well, the answer is simple SkyCheats Naraka Bladepoint hacks. SkyCheats has an extensive library of Naraka Bladepoint Hacks that will make your Naraka Bladepoint experience not only thrilling but also quite rewarding. are you ready to conquer the Naraka Bladepoint Universe? Well, here are the hacks that are going to help you do it.

COD Vanguard Removals

The scenes in COD Vanguard are made to reflect real-life war settings, with elements such as combat fog, smoke from filled chambers, and so on not missing. COD Vanguard removals will, however, be helpful in riding off these elements to give you good visibility of the combat area thus enabling you to have unhindered movement and counter-attack.

COD Vanguard ESP

COD Vanguard ESP is a set of hacks that allows you to differentiate between your enemies and allies. This particular cheat is valuable considering that most parts of the gameplay are 6v6 while the others are 2v2. Dwelling more on the specifics; ESP enables you to have all the info that pertains to allies and foes, and even other objects available – the COD Vanguard ESP will give the edge in acquiring dropped/hidden weapons as quickly as possible. With the ESP hack, you can access information about the name, health, position, and weapons of your opponents. The ESP feature that allows you to have the skeletal depiction of enemies can also help decipher where they are ahead, and this could even be valuable for identifying the zombies. Plus, using the hitbox ESP along with the COD Vanguard aimbot will surely add some more fun to how you down the enemies. COD Vanguard ESP, for what it is, awakens your sixth sense and fuels the pleasure that makes for a wholesome gameplay experience.

You may decide to use any of these COD Vanguard hacks singularly or in combination. However, you should consider the combat pacing styles and/or playing style when making this choice. Just for the mention; the combat pacing in COD Vanguard can either be assault, tactical, or blitz, and each of them varies in the intensity of the actions that unravel during gameplays.

Conclusion: Where Can I Download COD Vanguard Hacks?

COD Vanguard takes the stakes higher in the Call of Duty series, and gamers are bound to have an enjoyable experience. Nevertheless, despite all the COD Vanguard cheats that have been shared in this article, there are still a whole lot more to come as we dig deeper into different stages, with the hope of circumventing whatever anti-cheat system thrown the ways of gamers. But before further unraveling, you should get to enjoy the game while implementing these COD Vanguard hacks available.

vanguard aimbotvanguard aimbot pcvanguard beta aimbot

#vanguardaimbot #cod vanguard #vanguard mods #vanguard zombies mod usb #aimbot cod vanguard

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creylune · 7 years

Text

Hey so since school is starting up again and a lot of people I know are going to college for the first time, I wanted to compile some advice/info I’ve learned from my first year. There are a lot of tips about general things but I haven’t seen much about how college can really deal a blow to confidence, social skills, and mental health. Some of the stuff is under the cut since this got long.

Loneliness is pretty common in college. It doesn't seem like that because everyone keeps a facade up for social media to make it look like they're constantly having a good time with friends. It's easy to think that maybe you're missing out on something, or something's wrong with you if you aren't having a blast and going out on weekends with a big group of happy friends--after all, that's what all your facebook friends are doing right? In reality, what you see on social media is just the highlights of people's lives; you're not seeing any of their lows or stressful times. You aren't alone if you feel lonely or stressed because you aren't living a perfect social life.

Chances are, you're not going to find a close group of friends immediately. In fact, it might take a while to establish a solid friendgroup--don't expect that you're going to find a ride or die/tight-knit "squad" right off the bat.

Sometimes you won't even form a friend group by the end of freshman year and that's ok. It's hard to make friends when you're placed in an unfamiliar situation surrounded by people who are suddenly very different from you (esp. if you don't stay local or school demographics are very different from high school); but don't lose hope. There's at least one or two people at your college/uni who will get along really well with you and become good, if not close friends. For some it may not take long to find them, but for me it took 4.5 months before I found someone other than my roommate I could really feel comfortable with and whose company I enjoyed.

As tempting as it might sound to spend the entire weekend chilling in your dorm/room, it can be really helpful to go out, even to a cafe, library, or any place with people. I'm an introvert who enjoys her own company but I started feeling like shit after a few weeks of not getting enough exposure to other people. You need social interaction at some point to survive.

If you find yourself thinking "I have no real friends" (which to be honest, might happen at some point), think about any people you've met who have been genuinely warm and welcoming to you. Even if it's a professor, that cashier at the cafeteria, a library worker, your major advisor, the lady working in the career center. Reach out to them and ask if they want to grab lunch or coffee together. It's so, so tempting to wallow in self-pity and quit trying to befriend people but you can't give up. If someone's reached out to you before and you declined their invitation, now's the time to take them up on that offer. There are people who/will care about you, but like any relationship, you have to try too. When I was feeling my peak suicidal (and spent a day crying in my room reading reddit threads about how lonely someone was in college), I messaged a hallmate asking to eat lunch together the next day. Lunch was a little awkward since it was a big group at a circular table, but that's how I met my closest friend on campus (we send pics and videos of cats to each other on discord regularly).

Try to find a relative routine that works for you. For me, I figured one out by spring quarter: go to morning class, spend half an hour eating breakfast and getting some work done in the cafeteria/student center, go back to my room, get lunch and work at the cafeteria/chat with my friend, go to afternoon class, head to Starbucks or back to the dorm for the rest of the day. Social interaction tires me out so just that little exposure to people in the cafeteria/briefly chatting with my friend kept me going for the day.

Exercise is important, whether you like it or not. Wearing down your physical health doesn't help if you're not in a good mental place, so try to utilize your campus gym if there is one. If gyms are intimidating, you can go later at night when there are fewer people, or do some situps/pushups/squats/jumping jacks in your room. Getting your blood moving a little can go a long way in making you feel less shitty. Diet also goes hand in hand with this--if all you’re consuming is coffee and instant ramen, you’re gonna feel worse. At the very least, if you can, take some baby steps: get your hands on an easy-to-open can of corn, cereal, frozen edamame, grapes, baby carrots, nuts, beef jerky, applesauce. It’s better than chips and ice cream.

Most college tips recommend joining a club or two, and I definitely agree. Club participation can REALLY help in giving you some purpose/responsibility (esp. if you're an officer) and a network of acquaintances, if not friends. However, sometimes going to club meetings can actually make you feel worse than if you hadn't gone at all. During my first week I went to a joint club event with my roommate and all the people I struck up conversations with were obviously not interested in doing any more than small talk (they went back to talking to someone they deemed more interesting). It's not a guaranteed, but be aware that stuff like this can happen, even in the classroom. Some people won't be interested in you because they're looking for certain kinds of people and that's ok. They probably aren't worth your time either. You can't entirely give up introducing yourself to strangers though because 1 out of those 15 or even 30 people is going to be a pretty good friend, or at least someone you like/who likes you.

This doesn't work for everyone, but reaching out for professional help can really help. It took me a good 2-3 months to bring myself to call the campus counseling services for an appointment, (I hate phone calls with my life) but I can't stress how much talking to a person face-to-face about my feelings helped relieve a burden. Even if it's just a peer, I find talking to someone irl about how you're feeling more beneficial than only chatting or tweeting online. Bottling up your emotions can be so detrimental.

Even if you like your major, taking a class outside of it/within your interests can help so much in keeping you sane. Plus, it can help you meet different kinds of people with different experiences from you and broaden your perspective on things. I took an art class that helped me unwind twice a week and I met a handful of my current good friends from it since we bonded over similar interests.

Homesickness is going to happen. And it's gonna hit harder than you might expect, but you can and will make it through it. If you had a close friend in high school, call them or videocall with them instead of only texting or messaging. Even videocalling a close mutual works too, or family members if you miss them. Talking "in person" with someone important to you can help so much.

The main takeaway is this: different aspects of college aren't going to meet your expectations, especially if you're like me and spent 6 years idealizing college and the ~freedom and thrills~ it would bring. Optimism is crucial in life, but know that not everything is going to go as you might want.

#college #college advice #college tips #mental health #pufftext #long post ............... a bit #I'M SORRY MY BLOG FORMAT SQUEEZES ALL THE BULLET POINTS TOGETHER...

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queercapwriting · 7 years

Note

Hey Cap! Idk if you're still writing rn but could you maybe do one where Alex meets Eliza for lunch and forgets to take off her engagement ring and Eliza notices and realizes and stuff and is protective and wary because it's only been a year but then Maggie comes to pick Alex up at the end of lunch (totally unaware of the sitch) and Eliza just looks at how in love they are (esp Maggie with Alex) and she gives her blessing and it's cute

She hasn’t told her mother yet.

It hurts her – to not.

Eliza gets a lot of things wrong, but she also gets a lot of things right: and while Alex is so good at lying that she can fool a polygraph, the whole secrets thing really doesn’t agree with her.

It had, in the beginning; when she first joined the DEO, when she finally had something of her own. Something all hers, something… something that made her special. In her own right.

But it wore on her, grated on her.

Because secrets really don’t agree with her.

But she hasn’t told Eliza yet – about the ring, about the plans – because she knows what her mother will say, and she just wants to enjoy.

Enjoy being engaged to the woman she loves without the stress of Eliza’s judgment of it’s too soon and are you sure, Alexandra? and you’re just coming out, sweetie, don’t you think you need to expand your horizons a little bit before settling down?

But she also knows that Eliza loves Maggie.

And that’s the second problem with telling her.

Because she wants Eliza’s approval and she wants Eliza’s support – it’s all she’s ever wanted – and Maggie? Maggie has it.

Maybe Eliza won’t be too big of a fan of the engagement right away, but she’s quite fond of the woman who fights for both of her daughters, who plays pool with her science nerd son, who fights crime with her almost son-in-law son (and she really needs to speak to Kara about Mr. Olsen, because really, how could Alex let her let him go?).

And that’s also what Alex is afraid of.

Because they won’t be telling Maggie’s family.

Because Maggie’s family won’t be there, won’t support her, won’t love her.

And if Maggie can’t have her family, a part of Alex doesn’t want her to have to see Alex having hers. Doesn’t want her to go through that pain.

So she hasn’t told her.

But she’s running late – working on new tech with Lena and Winn, on the communicator with Cisco Ramon, always makes her lose track of time – so she forgets.

Forgets to take her engagement ring off.

And Eliza might not be a secret agent, but Alex gets it from somewhere.

She notices. Of course she notices.

“It seems like you have something to tell me, sweetie,” she tells her right after she hugs her, right as they’re sitting down, right after she’s taken stock of the way Alex seems friendly with everyone who works at Noonan’s – right after she’s taken stock of the way Alex seems, now, to interact with people outside her work.

She wonders when that happened, and she thinks it probably has something to do with the ring on her left hand.

“Um, yeah, I told you, Mom – didn’t you get my text? – we were working on an atmospheric – “

“No, no, dear, I know you lost track of time in the lab.” She chuckles softly to herself. “Like mother, like daughter, I suppose. No, Alex, I meant… something else.”

She doesn’t glance down at Alex’s ring; she doesn’t move her eyes from her eldest’s face at all.

She doesn’t have to. Because suddenly, Alex reaches for her left hand, for her fourth finger. She reaches, and she groans.

“Mom, I – it just happened, it’s recent, I didn’t want to um… I didn’t want to tell you on the phone – “

“You mean you didn’t want to tell me.”

“Mom – “

“Is it because you know how soon this is, Alexandra? Maggie’s a sweet girl, honey, a really lovely girl, and I’m not saying you should break up – god knows, she seems good for you, Alex – but marriage? Don’t you think – “

“Don’t you think you should congratulate me, Mom?” Alex deadpans, her voice as cold as the gun in her waistband, and Eliza’s stomach sinks, because her daughter has always been… headstrong.

But the edges of her voice have the damage of a soldier, now, the ice of a warrior, and it breaks her heart.

Especially because she knows – she knows – how much Maggie has been thawing that ice for Alex. With Alex.

“I… yes, dear, I… congratulations, Alexan – Alex – I want to hear all about it. I just… it’s my job to worry about you, Alex, surely you can – “

“Yeah. I get it.”

“Alexandra – “

“I know a year is short, Mom. I know. I know everything you’re going to say. But you know what, our lives are short, too. I almost died, Mom, I was…”

Tears swirl in her eyes suddenly, unwelcome, and she has to remind herself that there is no water filling her lungs. “The whole world almost died. And Maggie… Maggie fought her way through the streets, alone, out of ammo for a quarter of her trip, saving school kids on the way to me. To me, Mom. The world was ending and she fought and saved people on her way to me. I held on for her, for Kara, I held on, I…”

Her voice breaks and her jaw sets, and Eliza finds her hand covering her eldest’s; she finds that she can feel the scar tissues in her daughter’s body, that she can hear the scar tissue around her heart.

“You held on for you, sweetie,” Eliza whispers with a soft smile. “It was your love for them that kept you holding you. You. Your love. Your heart. Your mind has always been brilliant, Alex, but your heart has always been your superpower.”

Alex refuses to break – the entire reason she chose Noonan’s was that a public place would be less likely to precipitate an outburst – but she can’t stop the tears cascading down her face.

“All that, but you still think it’s too soon to get married,” she murmurs, and Eliza sighs.

“I just wonder why a woman, kind as she is, who initially rejected you because you were just coming out would be agreeing to marry you less than a year later, sweetie. Everything you’ve been through can also be an argument for not making big life decisions, you know, dear – “

“Mom, I’m marrying her. That’s the end of it. She’s not manipulating me or taking advantage of what I’ve been through or – “

“Why don’t we just enjoy our time together, Alexandra?” she interrupts, and Alex holds her breath, counts like she’s been working on with Sara Lance, sets her jaw, nods, and tries to keep her hands from trembling.

They stick to calmer topics throughout the rest of lunch – the latest research in bioengineering, Winn and Lena’s latest project, how Lucy’s doing – and they almost make it through without Alex’s phone chiming.

“Sorry,” she stammers, “it’s probably work, I have to – oh!” A smile slips over her face – a smile Eliza has rarely seen, one that seems to reverberate through Alex’s entire body – and she blushes. “Um, Mom, uh… Maggie’s heading over here to get coffee for her colleagues, she uh… she wanted to give me a heads up. Because she knows I’m here with you.”

Eliza stiffens slightly. “Of course, dear, it’d be lovely to see your fiancee.”

Alex nearly rises, nearly yells, but she just stiffens her core like she’s bracing for a punch, and she tries to exhale the way Maggie’s been teaching her.

She nods curtly and they sit in painful silence until Eliza clears her throat and asks Alex about how James is feeling with all his new superhero duties.

Alex launches in readily, eager for the distraction. So eager, so relieved, to lose herself in talking about her training sessions with their brother that she doesn’t hear the chime on the door ring, doesn’t turn to see her fiancee slipping up behind her.

Doesn’t know Maggie’s come into Noonan’s, motorcycle helmet in hand, detective shield gleaming, grey henley under perfect leather jacket, until she feels her hand tracing up Alex’s arm, until she feels her soft lips on her temple, until she feels her breath in her ear and hears the words she needs to hear more than anything right now: “I’m so proud of you, Ally. I love you,” Maggie whispers, soft so Eliza can’t hear, quickly so the praise, the love, can seep through Alex’s veins and uncord her tense body.

And it works: Alex melts immediately into Maggie’s touch, into Maggie’s voice, and Eliza has never seen her so relaxed in public. So affectionate with anyone other than Kara.

Because Alex’s hand finds Maggie’s immediately, instinctively; their fingers interlink like they were created to fit each other’s, and when her eldest tilts her fiancee’s chin with a gentle finger so they can exchange a soft kiss on the mouth, Eliza knows.

Knows that Alex has discovered romantic intimacy.

That Alex is guarded. That Alex is prioritized. That she’s cared for and that she’s worshiped and that she’s truly, utterly loved.

Because Alex would never kiss anyone like that, so casual yet so intimate, so natural yet so needed. So perfect.

“Maggie, sweetheart,” Eliza stands, and Maggie gulps and smiles as she straightens up, accepting Eliza’s hug with one arm, fighting not to cry at a mother’s warm touch.

“Lovely to see you, Dr. Danvers,” she tells her, and it doesn’t sound at all like the rehearsed lines Alex’s college boyfriends had given. It sounds confident, if nervous; genuine, if full of underlying turmoil, underlying emotion, underlying scar tissue.

Confident, because this woman loves her daughter. Wholly and completely.

“I see congratulations are in order,” she tells her as she pulls back from the hug, and Maggie nearly drops her helmet. Alex takes her hand and Maggie clings to it.

“Dr. Danvers, I – “

“Kara mentioned earlier that you’re not the closest with your family, Maggie, and forgive me if this is forward, but I would be honored to take you wedding clothes shopping when the time comes. If you’ll have me.”

Maggie’s lip trembles and Alex’s chest wracks with a sob.

And Noonan’s has never seen, before or since, a more emotional, a more relieved, a more cathartic, a more healing, three-person hug.

#sanvers #sanvers minific #sanvers wedding #alex danvers #alex x eliza

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