#edit: with what’s happened she is now going to be a regular oc because I’m still in love with how this design came out lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saiilorstars · 2 years

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Darkest Before Dawn

Ch.15: The Avengers Initiative

steve rogers x ofc fic

taglist: @arrthurpendragon @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @antonybridgertons @gloryekaterina @foxesandmagic @lenonizi

Story Masterlist // Seren’s Masterlist

If you’d like to be a part of this OC’s work/edits, let me know!

Chloe was waiting in Fury's office ever since she was cleared from the infirmary downstairs. She was one of the few agents who took that type of liberty. Agent Chloe Winters wasn't a regular agent. She was nothing like Seren. There were other problems plaguing Chloe but those were set aside for the moment. When the door opened, she glanced back to see Fury walking in.

"So, how'd that meeting go with the Council?" she asked, presuming already what they'd said to Fury and his brand new idea.

"Aren't you supposed to be on your way to Japan right now?" Fury went around his desk.

"You are insane if you think I'm leaving the country right now. I don't need to remind you what happened, do I? What did the council say?"

"What you expected. They're against expanding the Initiative."

Chloe snorted. "That was a sure thing. Seren always said that the Council wasn't truly in her favor. They distrust her just like they distrust her grandmother, Atria."

"The idea of the Avengers' Initiative was to protect our planet when things like these happen but since our only agent has been taken, we need to expand it."

"That's not entirely true," Chloe said, wagging a finger. She sent Fury a sour smile. "Did you ever tell Seren about the undercover stint Romanoff did last year with Tony Stark?" She leaned forwards on the desk. "You were expanding already, without telling her."

"Agent Soul would have been fine with a partner had it worked out."

"Mm, and I assume that the reason you were offering Captain Rogers the same position was to try and expand again?" Chloe's smile vanished from her face. "I know what S.H.I.E.L.D. really does behind the curtains. I know because I have to live my life behind one of those curtains, so it's not a surprise to me, but Seren wholeheartedly believes in this organization and you were willing to take her down the moment things got tough."

"Watch your words, Agent Winters," Fury sat down in his chair, tone sharp.

Chloe had been harboring these thoughts ever since they returned from New Mexico. He wasn't going to shut her down until she said everything. "You've been training Seren since she was a child—you saw her grow up, dammit!"

"It's because I know her completely that I knew she would survive. Maybe afterwards, she would've been back to normal," Fury was irritatingly calm. "You don't know the extent of Seren's strength, I do. I was there for each exam and assessment."

Chloe shook her head. "She told you the Tesseract wasn't something to mess with and now this Loki has her and many other of our agents God knows where. What are you going to do about it?"

"Exactly what I said from the beginning. We're getting a response team."

"Good, I'm one of them."

"No you're not," Fury began to say, "Your main mission is to stay away, just like always. You know the dangers, Winters. I can't risk another agent—"

"I need to help find Seren!" snapped Chloe. "You can't just ship me off to Japan like nothing happened! I won't leave until we bring her back."

"Winters, it's dangerous for you. This is our arrangement for a reason!"

"But these people—we know for sure they're not...you know…" Chloe gave a bob of her head. She didn't want to say the word out loud, not when they could be listening in. "Statistically speaking, these people you're bringing in wouldn't hurt me at all. They're the only people we can trust."

Fury leveled her look. He didn't have the time to start an argument with her and much less start a full force to push her into a quinjet. "Fine," he relented. "Coulson is collecting Stark, Romanoff is bringing Dr. Banner—" Chloe's eyes widened at the mention of that name, "—and I will speak to Rogers."

Chloe nodded slowly, mind thinking quickly. "Okay, I'll join Coulson."

"What? No—"

"You turned Stark away last year, do you really think he'll agree now? No, I need to go with Coulson to make sure he comes. I know Natasha will get Banner here—although it scares me you went to him of all people—and I'm not worried about Steve." She moved around the chair towards the door. "Once he knows what happened to Seren, he'll be the first onboard," she muttered on her way out.

~ 0 ~

It was late at night and Steve was still at his usual gym spot. He should probably try to get some sleep but that wasn't something that came to him as easily as it used to. Had Seren been around, she would've already marched him out of there.

He punched the sandbag harder.

He tried ignoring the feeling in his stomach when he thought of Seren. She was supposed to call a few days ago. He didn't want to admit that he'd gotten excited about the prospect of talking to her again—texts were still annoying and small for him. She'd promised him that she would call instead of the usual check-in texts but it never happened. He figured perhaps something came up, which wouldn't be strange on missions, so he waited for the usual check-in texts. That never came either.

It wasn't like Seren to not at least send a quick check-in text. He tried his hand at sending her a few, even leaving an embarrassing voicemail (he really needed to work on those) but she never responded. No sign of life, to say. She wasn't reaching out to him at all. Something felt wrong.

One, two, three more punches it the bag.

Was Seren alright? Did she get into some trouble? Why wasn't even Chloe answering him?

The fifth punch was the lucky punch that broke the sandbag from its hook. It was anger seeping through his fists now. That and fear. He had lost too much to go through it again, especially with someone as sweet as Seren.

"Trouble sleeping?" He heard someone call just as he'd placed a new sandbag on the hook. It was Fury?

"I slept for seventy years, sir. I think I've had my fill."

"Then you should be out, celebrating, seeing the world."

He was clearly here to stay and Steve didn't understand why until he saw Fury holding a manila folder in his hands. He stepped away from the sandbag and started unraveling the tape of his hands.

"I went under, the world was at war, I wake up, they say we won. They didn't say what we lost."

"We've made some mistakes along the way. Some very recently."

Steve paused and glanced at the man. His relationship to Fury wasn't anymore than amicable professionalism but right now he felt like he had a claim to ask about two things, especially when he felt like he was going to be asked something too. "Have you spoken to Seren lately? She was supposed to check in." He would leave it at that and not mention the phone call for fear of getting her into trouble.

"You haven't had any contact with her lately?" Fury asked instead.

Steve raised an eyebrow at him. "No, that's...that's why I'm asking. Is something going on?" His gaze fell on the folder Fury was seemingly holding tightly onto. "Is that a mission?"

"Yes."

"Trying to get me back in the world?"

"Trying to save it," Fury said. He seemed to be calculating something and Steve wasn't sure why?

Why come to him if he was going to be scrutinized before the question was even formally asked? There went the feeling in his stomach again. "Where's Seren?" Fury didn't initially answer. Instead, he offered Steve the folder. Hoping it would lead to his answer, Steve took it. A skim is all Steve needed to do to understand the problem. The Tesseract had found its way back into his life. "Hydra's secret weapon…" He was sure that this was gone. "Why...how do you have it?"

"Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you. He thought what we think, the Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That's something the world sorely needs."

It took very little time for Steve to connect some dots. Seren knew his history with the Tesseract very well. Her guilt? It all had to do with the Tesseract and him.

'I just don't want to lie to you.'

He felt the air leaving his lungs little by little. She wasn't here, she wasn't with Fury trying to fill him in on a mission gone wrong and when that happens, that means…

"Sir, where is Seren?" His tone left no room for any more diversions or small talk. He wanted the answer now.

Fury raised his head to finally answer, "Agent Soul was tasked to guard the Tesseract. She was compromised. She fought the man who took the Tesseract from us and somehow he gained control of her mind. She attacked us…"

Steve was glaring threateningly before he even realized. He stepped towards Fury. "And what did you YOU do? Did you…?"

"What we had to: fought back. She's still alive, Captain, if that's what you're wondering."

It was. Steve felt his stomach churning before Fury had told him Seren was alive. "Where is she?"

"We don't know but we presume she's with the Tesseract. The man who caused all of this—his name is Loki and he's not from around here. There's a lot we'll have to bring you up to speed on if you're in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know."

"At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me." And frankly, he didn't care about any of it right now.

"Ten bucks says you're wrong," Fury said as Steve started for his things. "There's a debriefing package waiting for you back at your apartment. Is there anything you can tell us about the Tesseract that we ought to know now?"

"You should have left it in the ocean," Steve spat when he turned away. If it had remained where it was lost, none of this would be happening. Seren would be fine and maybe even back in New York.

~ 0 ~

Coulson watched as Chloe swiftly de-activated security protocols like it was child's play, and to her it might as well be. "You do know that I could do it from a press of a button, right?"

Chloe stepped back from the entrance doors with a small smirk. Her eyes were a bright glowing blue, matching the streaks of blue going down her skin. "I know, it's just more fun this way. Proves we're serious."

The two agents made their way into Stark Tower like it was their own home. It was a pleasing moment when their elevator brought them right up despite the owner making it clear they were the last people he wanted to see.

"If he starts shooting, I'm going to shoot back," Chloe warned when they stepped out of the elevator.

However, instead of hearing Tony Stark's sure-to-be rude greeting, the pale woman next to him came with the softest of smiles. "Coulson! Come in!"

It was ironic that both Chloe and Tony were equally confused with that relationship. Chloe flipped her head in Coulson's direction, her long blonde curls bouncing with the action, and mouthed 'Coulson' at the same time that Tony had.

"Uh, his first name is Agent," Tony said, not that Pepper would acknowledge it.

"Come on in, we're celebrating," she motioned her champagne glass in hand then looked at Chloe. "Hi, I don't think we've met. Pepper Potts."

Chloe eyed the hand Pepper held out. How did this woman know them? "Uh...Agent Chloe Winters—how is this possible?" She still shook hands with Pepper but was looking specifically at Coulson.

He ignored her and went up to Tony with the same manila folder that Fury had. "We need you to look this over. Soon as possible."

Tony eyed the folder in Coulson's hand with distaste. "I don't like being handed things."

"That's alright," Pepper came by, taking the folder from Coulson, "Cause I love to be handed things. So, let's trade." She handed Coulson her champagne glass. Chloe remained behind, at a distance, and watched as Pepper did little with the file and passed it onto Tony then grabbed her champagne glass from Coulson. "Thank you."

"Official consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday," Tony held the file back to Coulson.

"Oh would you just open the damn thing?" Chloe asked impatiently. She wasn't here to play nice as Coulson had said. Tony Stark had to help them, dammit.

"Is this about The Avengers?" Pepper asked before her words hit her. She quickly added, innocently as possible, "Which I...I know nothing about."

"The Avengers Initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify," Tony said, still sounding as sour as he had been the first time around.

"I didn't know that either," Pepper chimed in.

"Yeah, apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, don't play well with others."

"That I did know!"

"This isn't about personality profiles anymore," Coulson said.

"Whatever. Miss Potts, got a minute?" Tony led Pepper towards the desk away from the agents. He placed the files into his own databases because if he was even going to skim them, it would be on his terms.

"Not like we don't know you're going to talk about us," Chloe called from her spot, flashing a smirk at the deadpanning Tony.

"I like her," Pepper pointed at the young woman. "She'll keep you on your toes. So, what is all this anyways?" She wasn't going to bother acting like she was in the dark if it was that clear it wasn't the case.

"This is, uh…" Tony doddled as he brought up different profiles in holograph form in the air for all of them to see. Pepper was truly amazed at the various profiles before them. "...this."

Pepper quickly recognized a few profiles amongst the group, that of Captain America from the 40s and who could forget about the Hulk? There were others like a strange blonde man in an armor that she didn't know about, and a man with black hair and green and golden that was surely new. "Oh, I found you," she gave a quick point at Chloe.

"Be sure to delete that," Chloe spoke in an edgy tone after catching sight of her profile in the air.

Now it was Tony's turn to smirk. "What's the matter? Don't like the attention?"

"No, actually. I like keeping my face out of the media."

"Not quite. If I do remember, there's a, uh, popular little cheerleading video of you out there? You were so young! So full of life and the competition life suited you."

Chloe's face hardened fast. "I hate the internet," she spat.

"And yet you're made of it." Tony made a show of expanding her profile for them to see. She absolutely hated that he had nearly everything on her, and it wasn't even from his searches. It was all from S.H.I.E.L.D. of course. "Alien technology merged into that brain of yours, giving you some unique abilities and access to an alien hive mind. I dub thee...Megamind!" His hands flailed over his head in show.

"Oh my God...I'm going to kill Iron Man," Chloe resolved and looked at Pepper. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Pepper smiled out of amusement. "He'll be on his best behavior."

Tony shot her a look that most definitely disagreed with that.

Chloe felt Coulson's hand on her arm. She was being too much, for everybody's sake she had to bring it down. "Okay look," she started again, motioning she would be changing her attitude, "My friend has been taken, mind-controlled. She's not somebody you want on the bad guy's side. And the real bad guy? He's going to hurt a lot of people if we don't do something. So please, just read the file and come tomorrow."

~ 0 ~

Chloe anxiously waited for Steve to arrive at the landbase, having known about his decision very early in the morning. She made herself available as quickly as possible. She knew she could trust him to help get Seren back.

"Steve, hey!" Chloe met the man outside the quinjet. She couldn't help herself and ran up to him for a hug. "Thank you so much for coming!"

Steve hugged her back tightly. The only other person having it worse than him was Chloe, he just knew it. "Of course. Seren needs us."

Chloe pulled away and nodded. "I was there and I...I had to shoot at her. I threw her out of the sky." Tears filled her eyes rather quickly, all out of sheer guilt. She couldn't even put her words together the right way. "I was so sorry..."

"Seren wouldn't blame you for doing what you had to," Steve said, knowing it fully well. Seren was the type to give herself entirely to the mission. "We're going to find her."

Chloe nodded again. She pulled him towards the quinjet where Coulson was waiting for them. He offered Steve a tablet so he could see things for himself and get a better idea about what really occurred in New Mexico, as well as information on their other two supposed members. Since they would be working with Bruce Banner, Steve would need pictures.

"We're about forty minutes out from base, sir," the pilot informed them. Coulson gave the acknowledging nod and looked at the other sitting across him.

Chloe would help Steve navigate through the pictures, helping to explain Dr. Banner's history and Stark's.

"So, this Doctor Banner was trying to replicate the serum that was used on me?" Steve watched the terribly huge green man attacking the army in the video.

"A lot of people were," Coulson corrected, something that unknowingly added to Steve's shoulders as if it was his HIS fault people got into trouble because they wanted to be like him. "You were the world's first superhero. Banner thought gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine's original formula."

Steve watched as the Hulk roared and tore a jeep apart in one clean move. "Didn't really go his way, did it?" It was far from what Dr. Erskine had imagined.

"Not so much."

"Okay but I think we're forgetting about the tremendous intelligence that man has," Chloe spoke up after she ended the video. She didn't want Steve to get the wrong idea about Banner because of a mistake. She of all people knew what mistakes like those caused. Yes, the Hulk was dangerous but Bruce Banner was far from that. "He's aware of what he did and even though we've heard nothing from him, he feels terrible about what happened. You shouldn't let the Hulk influence your thoughts about him."

Steve smiled at her. "Of course not."

"Good," Chloe beamed and handed the tablet back to Coulson. "Plus, he really is like a Stephen Hawking."

"Oh yeah," Coulson nodded in agreement but Steve didn't understand the comparison. "He's like a smart person. I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially," he admitted sheepishly. "I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping." Chloe chuckled when Coulson realized how bad that sounded. "I mean, I was... I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it's really, it's just a... just a huge honor to have you on board."

Steve gave an appreciative nod at Coulson. "Well, I hope I'm the man for the job."

"Oh, you are. Absolutely. Uh... we've made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input."

Steve blinked. The idea of his old uniform hadn't even crossed his mind. "The uniform? Aren't the stars and stripes a little... old fashioned?"

"With everything that's happening, the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old fashioned."

Steve knew that it was meant to encourage him to take on the suit again but the truth was that he didn't know if he was ready for it. The last time he wore the suit was right before he went under. For some reason, it made him nervous to wear it again. It would be different, he would be somewhere far different than the last time...and he would have new people to work with. There would be no Bucky, no Peggy, nobody he knew.

"You'll be good," Chloe said to him, smiling encouragingly. "Seren needs our help, remember?"

Steve nodded. Anything to find Seren again.

~ 0 ~

The Quinjet had finally landed in their destination which turned out to be a massive battleship of some sort. Steve heard the name 'Helicarrier' twice but its name did not compare to the sight of it. Coulson led him and Chloe down the ramp to where a redheaded woman was waiting for them.

"Romanoff," Chloe greeted her.

"Surprised you're not off somewhere," Natasha raised her head. That's what Agent Winters always did.

"Not this time," Chloe said. Natasha nodded. She understood perfectly.

"Agent Romanoff. Captain Rogers," Coulson did the introductions.

"Ma'am?" Steve gave the typical greeting from his time, something Natasha picked up on fast. She'd heard plenty from Seren but it was far better seeing it right in front of her.

"Hi," she returned before setting eyes on Coulson. "They need you on the bridge. Face time."

"See you there," Coulson practically said only to Steve before leaving.

"There was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice," Natasha started. "I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?"

"Trading cards?" Steve repeated with the expression that this was the first time he was hearing of such a thing.

"They're vintage, he's pretty proud of them."

"O...kay…" Steve nodded. That would be something to check out later on.

"C'mon," Chloe tugged his arm after Natasha.

"Trading cards?"

"Oh yeah! There's a whole set!"

Natasha had found Bruce Banner observing the helicarrier. He seemed pretty nervous which was quite understandable. When Banner noticed that he was being watched, he stiffened and waited for them to start first.

"Dr. Banner," Steve didn't hesitate to greet the man, something Seren liked.

"Oh, yeah. Hi. They told me you'd be coming," Banner cleared his throat and shook hands with him.

"Word is you can find the cube."

"...is that the only word on me?"

"Only word I care about."

Banner seemed less nervous after hearing those words. "Must be strange for you, all of this."

"Well, this is actually kind of familiar," Steve admitted as he watched several armed men walk by them.

"Gentlemen, you may wanna step inside in a minute," Natasha warned them suddenly. "It's gonna get a little hard to breathe." Because not a second later did the helicarrier start shaking.

"Is this a submarine?" Steve blinked and looked at the edge where the water seemed to be roaring.

"Really?" Banner suddenly had the nervousness back on his face. "They wanted me in a submerged pressurized metal container?"

Unknowingly, he and Steve both moved closer to the edge. They saw four huge lift fans start lifting them into the air air.

"Oh no, this is much worse," Banner almost lost the ability to breathe in that moment.

"They're like children," Chloe remarked to Natasha beside her, faintly amused at the sight. "Let's go boys! We have people to find!"

~ 0 ~

Chloe and Natasha led Steve and Banner down the helicarrier hallways until they came to the bridge. On occasion, Chloe would have to come back for Steve on account of the man taking everything of the Helicarrier in. When they met Fury on the bridge, Steve handed him the 10 bucks they spoke about the previous day. Well received.

"Doctor, thank you for coming," Fury shook hands with Banner.

Banner smiled tightly. "Thanks for asking nicely. So, uh... how long am I staying?"

"Once we get our hands on the Tesseract, you're in the clear."

"Where are you with that?" Banner noticed Natasha and Coulson were staring at a specific computer. However, Natasha's eyes kept flickering to the next computer that held both Seren's and Clint's images.

"We're sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet. Cellphones, laptops. If it's connected to a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us."

"That's still not gonna find them in time," Natasha sourly said.

"You have to narrow the field. How many spectrometers do you have access to?" Banner asked with purpose.

"How many are there?" Fury's answer was the right one.

Banner smiled. "Call every lab you know, tell them to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays. I'll rough out a tracking algorithm based on cluster recognition. t least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?"

"Agent Romanoff, would you show Dr. Banner to his laboratory, please," Fury instructed and at the same time had her finally tear her gaze off the computer screens.

She led Banner out of the bridge, her last words carrying in. "You're gonna love it, Doc. We got all the toys."

~0~

Day turned to night fast when they were searching for a homicidal out-of-this-world man. Things had been relatively quiet in the meantime of the search. Natasha had kept a close eye on Banner, making herself scarce everywhere else. Chloe remained in the bridge for the most part but would occasionally disappear helping other agents. Though every time she came back, she always found Steve doing the same thing.

He was in utter awe of all the modern tech around him, how each employee worked and...everything. Everything. He had to get over it, he knew, but it was impossible. Everything and everyone simply worked more efficiently than before. They had the tools to.

Chloe could only guess the thoughts that were running through his head. She was glad that Coulson had managed to pull him aside at least for a couple minutes to distract him. Although it did make her chuckle when she overheard Coulson going on about that vintage set of trading cards he had. Steve being his polite self had of course agreed to sign them on later on.

"We got a hit," Agent Sitwell announced from one of the computers. At his announcement, everyone in the bridge stopped. "Sixty-seven percent match. Weight, cross match, seventy-nine percent."

"Location?" asked Coulson.

"Stuttgart, Germany. 28, Konigstrasse. He's not exactly hiding."

"That doesn't sound right," Chloe mumbled as she turned to leave.

"Captain, you're up," Fury called Steve. "Agent Winters, show him the new suit, will you?"

"Course," she nodded and motioned for her friend to follow. The two entered the corridors quietly as if they were strangers. "I know this is all so weird…but I just want to thank you so much for coming along."

"You don't have to say anything. It's Seren we're talking about, right? And the rest of the world." Steve couldn't fathom ignoring any of it. He needed to see Seren back, see for himself that she was alright.

Chloe nodded. "Did Seren ever tell you how we met?"

"No, I don't think so…"

"I was younger. I wasn't so put together back then. Seren found me when I was 17. She's taken me under her wing ever since. She's always been there for me. She's taken care of me, helped me...I never thought that something would happen to her instead." Chloe picked up her pace to avoid getting emotional. They needed to be focused on the mission.

"Chloe, it's okay to be sad," Steve said, following right behind her. "I'm sad too…" 'Sad' wasn't exactly covering it but he would leave it at that for the sake of time. What Chloe said about Seren sounded exactly like the woman Steve had come to known. Seren had an unusual kindness he didn't see very much in this new world. Everyone seemed deceitful, in a way, with secret motives, but not Seren. Seren was honest because she herself had grown up in the midst of lies. She detested them, as did he. My God, he missed her so much.

Chloe led Steve into the locker room where his suit would be waiting. "I'm sad, but I'm also guilty," she admitted. "She fought Loki to protect us, to protect me, and Loki just took her away. I want him to hurt."

Steve nodded slightly. He had no idea who this Loki, much less what the heck he wanted with the Tesseract, but after reading everything he'd done in New Mexico and who he took, he wholeheartedly agreed with Chloe.

"Here we are," Chloe announced. "Take a look. Between you and me, I think Coulson had some great inputs...don't you think?"

Steve didn't have the answer straightaway. He was taking in his old, but new, suit carefully. He hadn't seen it since he...went down. Seren had offered to bring it by after a few weeks but he had specifically asked her not to. He couldn't look at the thing then. It would bring back too many memories, both good and bad, and he hadn't been ready back then. Looking at it now, though, he wasn't sure if he was as prepared as he hoped to be.

He would concede with Chloe in that the suit did have a better upgrade. At first glance it looked less bulky which would probably make a huge difference in the field. The colors, though the same ones as before, were slightly brighter. He wasn't too sure with the red but he wasn't opposed either. Perhaps it was just a matter of putting it on...just like the first time around.

~ 0 ~

Natasha would be piloting the quinjet so that Steve could freely go into the fight without worry. Chloe was outright furious she wasn't able to go into the field and was forced to take the compromise of staying in the quinjet with Chloe. She did, however, had positioned herself right beside Natasha's chair in case anything warranted her assistance.

Loki indeed was on a swift, quick plan. He had a whole crowd of humans kneeling to him as he commanded it...except for one elderly man who made a show of refusing. He had thin patience for nuisances and so, he raised his scepter, letting it light up blue, before striking. Before the beam reached the elderly man, Steve dove down in front of the man and blocked off the attack with his shield.

That might have felt good.

With the sudden move, the attack reverberated back to Loki and knocked him to the ground.

Steve had helped the elderly man to move away before addressing Loki who, if he paid close attention, wasn't surprised by his presence. "You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing."

Loki stood back up with his scepter clasped tightly between his hand. "The soldier. A man out of Time."

"I'm not the one who's out of time." The quinjet lowered behind him with Natasha's voice calling out. "Loki, drop the weapon and stand down."

Loki acted fast and used the scepter against the quinjet. Natasha swiftly moved the jet out of the way. In Loki's moment of annoyance, Steve had the opportunity to throw his shield forwards. It nearly knocked Loki again. He ran directly for Loki for an old-fashion fight.

From above in the quinjet, Chloe watched with a heavy heart. "That's exactly what Seren did," she whispered. It became especially hard to watch when Loki got the scepter to Steve's helmet.

"Stay," Natasha instructed her.

"But—"

Natasha pointed. Steve had knocked Loki down. Of course it lasted short when Loki flipped him to the ground.

"This guy's all over the place," Natasha remarked through the ear comms.

Suddenly, 'Shoot to Thrill' blared over the comms, something Natasha wasn't responsible for. Before she could even suspect who was behind the intrusion, she heard a familiar voice calling out to her.

"Agent Romanoff, did you miss me?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. Chloe raised an eyebrow. "Is he serious?"

Natasha regretfully nodded her head.

Iron Man swiftly blasted Loki to the ground again. As soon as he landed, his suit pulled out every available weapon it had on Loki. "Make your move, Reindeer Games."

Slowly, Loki rose but with his hands raised in surrender. His armor disappeared into nothing.

"Good move," remarked Tony. There was an awkward silence and both Steve and Seren gathered on either side of Tony.

"Mr. Stark," Steve eventually said, finding nothing else to say in the meantime. It was far too weird knowing this was Howard Stark's son. If anything, it was another reminder that Steve hadn't gotten to live his life in his own time with the friends he had made.

"Captain," Tony said curtly.

Eventually they brought Loki into the quinjet with an added layer of security on him to make sure he pulled no tricks while Natasha piloted them back to the helicarrier.

"Has he said anything?" Fury was asking both Natasha and Seren over the comms.

"Nope," went Natasha.

"Not a word." Chloe glanced over her shoulder to see Loki sitting still as ever. He hadn't tried talking nor moving and while normally that's what they would want, Loki pulling these moves only made them even more suspicious. She so desperately wanted to ask him where the mind-controlled agents were.

"Just get him here. We're low on time," Fury said before ending the line.

"I don't like it," Steve said to Tony quietly. Both of them had positioned themselves directly across from Loki, not wanting to give the man any idea that he could try something. Like Chloe, he was wondering where the compromised agents were. Why stash them?

"What? Rock of Ages giving up so easily?"

"I don't remember it being ever that easy. This guy packs a wallop."

"Still, you are pretty spry, for an older fellow. What's your thing? Pilates?"

Steve was naturally lost with the conversation and much more how they had even gotten to that. "What?"

"It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle."

Alright, that was a point Steve didn't have to stand for. He was getting the faint feeling that, like Tony, neither knew they would be meeting each other tonight.

"Fury didn't tell me he was calling you in." For that, Steve also cast a look in Chloe's direction, wondering if she knew about this detail. That would've been something worthy to mention.

Tony, however, didn't seem as surprised as Steve. He was more irritated. "Yeah, there's a lot of things Fury doesn't tell you," he said as if he had already had experience.

The sky roared with thunder and lightning, hitting the jet every now and then. The passengers rocked with the jet.

Natasha was getting tired as she kept looking out to the sky. "Where's this coming from!?"

"It shouldn't be like this." Chloe had done her due diligence and checked out the weather for them prior to the mission. There were no reports of stormy weather back then and even now, as she checked it again on their tablet, the reports claimed clear skies. There really was no excuse for any of this to be happening.

After yet another jolt of thunder struck the jet, Steve noticed Loki's weary look towards the windows. That was certainly strange. "What's the matter?" He called to the silent man. "Scared of a little lightning?"

"I'm not overly fond of what follows," Loki answered honestly, yet another sign.

The next time the jet shook, it was as if something - or someone - had landed on it. The blinding light that accompanied it certainly made it seem so. An armored man with long blonde hair opened up the ramp and grabbed Loki by the throat. Loki barely had time to blink before his brother jumped out with him.

Everyone else was left dumbstruck by the sight.

"Thor!" Chloe jumped out of her chair, bonking her head on top. "Ow!"

Tony snapped his helmet on and stood up. "Now there's that guy."

"Another Asgardian?" Natasha asked but Steve felt like there was a more important question that should be addressed.

"That's Thor, he and Seren were on good terms," Chloe said, having Steve agree. "Maybe he's come to help!"

"Seren was confident that he would should we ever need him," Steve said, and right now he couldn't think of a better ally. Seren had gone into great detail describing Thor and his impressive abilities. At that point, Steve wasn't overly fond of the Asgardian but right now...he needed everything that got them one step closer to finding Seren.

"Doesn't matter. If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract's lost." Tony made way for the ramp to jump out.

"You can't just jump off!" Chloe called to him as she tried to make her own way forwards. The jet was still shaking from the turbulence.

Steve agreed with her. "Stark, we need a plan of attack!"

Tony saw nothing of the sort. "I have a plan: attack." He promptly jumped out of the jet.

"He's deranged!" Chloe huffed and looked back to Natasha, knowing that she had already met Tony a while back.

"Don't look at me!" The redhead said quickly. She was very clear on her thoughts of Tony joining S.H.I.E.L.D. in any capacity.

Chloe heaved a heavy sigh and nearly lost it when she saw Steve going for a parachute. "Oh hell no!" She snapped at him. "You can't go out there! You have not seen what Thor can do!"

"She's right," Natasha called to him. "These guys come from legends, they're basically gods."

"There's only one God, ma'am. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that."

"Steve, wait—" Chloe groaned when he jumped out of the quinjet. "Men, they're all the same no matter what species they are! Four men with powerful weapons and no supervision? That's ground zero for some senseless violence."

At that, Natasha would concede.

~ 0 ~

As it turned out, Chloe was right. There was indeed a fight that ultimately ended with all sides coming together on the most important factor: Loki had the Tesseract and it shouldn't be. S.H.I.E.L.D. successfully gained Loki's imprisonment and for the time being, Thor would be their ally.

"Well, it only took half a frikin forest to get you to calm down…" Chloe folded her arms across her chest as she settled the same scolding look on each of the men standing before her in the bridge. The only one safe was Banner. "Men. Why do you always resort to violence?"

"Hey, he's the one who threw the hammer," Tony pointed an armor-less finger towards Thor at the side of the bridge.

Chloe rolled her eyes, clearly not interested in the excuses they had. Natasha merely watched the spectacle happen with calculating eyes as if she was expecting another fight to happen soon.

"I fought because you fought," went Thor, of course prompting yet another response from Tony.

"Because you took the prisoner, genius!"

"ENOUGH!" Chloe screamed, her eyes raging blue for a moment. It froze everyone in their tracks.

"Chloe, we're sorry," Steve said. "Things got a little carried away but we are sorry."

Tony was shooting him a look expressing he wasn't that sorry. Thor remained stoic.

Chloe shook her head at all three of them again. "Alright. We need to focus on what to do next."

"We didn't exactly get much out of that, did we?" Tony made a gesture towards the monitor in the room that had given them front row seats to the mini-interrogation Fury had with the now imprisoned Loki. Loki hadn't said anything promising about the Tesseract, merely taking jabs at Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. collectively.

"Loki's gonna drag this out. So, Thor, what's his play?" Steve thought that if anyone would know how to deal with Loki, it would be his brother.

As tensed as the air was, Thor answered him honestly, "He has an army called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

There was silence as everyone digested Thor's words. It really was a lot to take in, especially for those plucked out of time.

"An army? From outer space?" Steve truly had the hardest time believing half the things he was hearing but knowing what he knew, he wouldn't discard it.

"I seem to recall Twinkle Star isn't exactly an Earthly citizen of ours?" Tony remarked but the others were left confused.

"Who?" Natasha was the one to ask.

"Oh, sorry, Agent Seren Soul. I've gone through her files and she's an alien like these guys," Tony jerked a thumb in Thor's direction. "I nicknamed her Twinkle Star."

"Stop calling her that!" snapped Chloe. "And just so we're clear, Seren was born on Earth not Celessia. She's as much as a human as we are with the same claim to Earth."

"Lady of the stars," Thor recalled the name with a light smile. Of course when he remembered her current state, the smile vanished. "I am sorry that Loki has done this to her but rest assured that I will not leave until she is safely returned."

"Well, we can safely assume that Loki's trying to build another portal with the tesseract," Banner said. "It's why he needed Erik Selvig for."

"Selvig?" Thor cut in.

"He's an astrophysicist."

"He's a friend."

"Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with Seren and another agent of ours," Natasha explained.

"I wanna know why Loki let us take him," Steve spoke the thought that had been running through his head ever since they had custody of Loki. "He's not leading an army from here."

"I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him." Banner's comment sparked new tension between them and Thor.

"Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother."

"He killed 80 people in 2 days," Chloe said flatly. She was pleased to see that it took effect on Thor, proving that he really was different from Loki. He felt guilt.

"He's adopted…?" He said slowly.

"Iridium, what did they need the Iridium for?"

"It's a stabilizing agent. Means the portal won't collapse on itself, like it did at SHIELD." Tony started walking around the bridge, casually with a secret agenda in mind. "It means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants." His eyes scanned the employees working fervently at their posts and suddenly, he called out to them. "Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the top sails. That man—" He pointed a particular man in the corner, "—is playing GALAGA! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did." He slapped a hand over his right eye. "How does Fury do this?"

Maria came beside him, thankfully answering for them because Chloe was on the verge of losing her marbles. "He turns."

Tony shrugged and moved around a bit more, silently slipping in a small hacking device under Fury's own desk. "Well, that sounds exhausting. The rest of the raw materials Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube."

"When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?" Natasha called to him. The last time they met, he knew nothing of the sort.

"Last night. The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?"

Steve wouldn't even bother with the senseless things Tony was saying. "Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?"

"He's got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier," Banner answered, prompting Tony to turn towards him.

"Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect."

"Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet."

Tony made a dramatic gesture towards Banner. "Finally, someone who speaks English."

"Is that what just happened?" Steve looked around for the other's reactions and saw they were just as puzzled as he was. English had not been spoken there.

"It is good to meet you, Dr. Banner," Tony said, perhaps the first honest line since he'd stepped aboard the helicarrier. "Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster."

"Thanks…" Banner said slowly, obviously not that appreciative of the last remark.

"Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him," Fury said as he walked into the bridge.

"Let's start with that stick of his," Steve suggested. "It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon."

"I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn my strong agent and two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys."

"Monkeys?" Thor asked, his eyes flickering in the room as if said monkeys would appear right there and then. "I do not understand."

"I do!" Steve suddenly exclaimed, quite proud of himself at that moment. "I understood that reference!" Of course then he realized they were talking about Seren. Suddenly, the excitement wore off.

Tony rolled his eyes at him then then turned to Banner. "Shall we play, doctor?" He would much rather spend time with the only man capable of understanding his words,

"Let's play some," Banner agreed and walked off with him.

9 notes · View notes

venusiangguk · 3 years

Text

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !!

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants.

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study

me:

yeah but im not gonna

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I- am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing.

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about.

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile.

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself.

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side.

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm.

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.”

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts.

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar.

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night.

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?”

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.”

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found.

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists.

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going.

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later.

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer.

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.”

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace.

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins.

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…”

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad.

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?”

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all.

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs.

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls.

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over.

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene.

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand.

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?”

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-”

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.”

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd.

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it.

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether.

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you.

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed.

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up.

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone.

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken.

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.”

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair.

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock.

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.”

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room.

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum.

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.”

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow.

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly.

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both.

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is. But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :*

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studiojeon · 3 years

Text

bitterness in goodbye | jjk

this is part of my troubled outsiders series. sadly, you can't read this as a stand alone (meaning: feel free to check the previous parts ♡)

| summary | - You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

warnings: none (?) i mean chaeryeong insults jungkook which is an atrocity in itself but-

contents: we diving into the angst my friends. jungkook is an innocent, kind hearted soul, i promise. oc's got the feels (out oct. 1) for jk. idol!jungkook × student!reader.

author's note: I EDITTED THIS FROM MY PHONE DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING ANNOYING THAT IS? also, thank u for the amount of support i've been receiving lately, i appreciate everyone lots. feel free to ask away or suggest anything btw, i would love to write for any prompts you guys come up with. 💞💗💖💘💓💕

words: 1.57k

playlist: honey by halsey

Four weeks later, the receptionist of your apartment complex hands you over a cardboard box with the hoodie Jungkook and you had talked about that day on the Han River. Jungkook kept pestering you to please please please send him your address for confidential purposes, which you knew had to do with his determination to literally provide anything that catches your eye right away. You assumed it was a sensitive topic for the boy whether people had purposefully taken advantage of his money before, so you didn’t dare to say anything when the man asked you for your size literally two hours after he dropped you off, scared to either reject his solidare intentions or piss him off for bringing unwanted memories back. In your defense, your personality type keeps oscillating between INFP and INFJ so it’s only natural that you take extra care to make sure those around you have as much peace of mind as possible in your presence.

As pretty and comfortable the piece of soft clothing is, an important factor is missing, something that you can’t recreate buying two of the same size and color, and that is Jungkook's escence and how good it looks on him in comparison to anyone else in the world. Meaning, you didn’t like it as much as you thought initially would. And it absolutely did not have to do with the fact that your short stature made you look like a toddler who stole their dad’s jacket.

Still, in order to show Jungkook how much you appreciate his gift, you bring it to work the next day, and the rest of the days after that, with the excuse that with winter rolling around you needed something to keep you warm in the office. Jungkook doesn’t miss the opportunity to confirm your assumptions regarding your appearance whenever he barges into your office randomly throughout the week, arguing that ”you look so adorable” and doesn’t stop for two weeks more, until he gets used to seeing you wearing something you shared with him. Which doesn’t help ease your growing romantic feelings for him whatsoever.

Because yeah, you liked Jeon Jungkook, just like every human being with eyes and sexual desires, except, you didn’t just like him in a superficial way, and that’s where the problem with him resides. Though you are sure everyone has fallen in love with the endearing boy at some point - especially the excluded and invalidated women of society - you can’t help but place some blame on you for allowing yourself to be swooned so goddamn easily. Your mom had said to you at some point to be wary of the way some men would talk to you when you grew up, their intention usually being getting inside your pants, which has happened to you more times than you'd like to admit. And with the argument that she knew you better than anyone, she claimed you would comply right the second someone talked sweet to you; you despised the fact that was the case with Jungkook (and Jungkook only), although he had never shown any sexual innuendos. What your feelings could do to your relationship with Jungkook and your rather chill lifestyle scared you to death, shiver me timbers and all that shit, having romantic feelings for someone else is embarrassing, especially when your chance with them has been scratched out the second you laid eyes on them.

Jungkook sits on your couch, legs spread on your thighs as you two pretend to watch some series on netflix. “I don’t buy for a second the act you’re putting on right now.” he speaks randomly after staring at your deep-in-thought state for a few minutes and laughs when you snap at him for not letting you overthink in peace. “What’s going on?”

Truth is, you don’t fucking know. A few hours before he arrived at your place (you had to pick him up at the dorm and sneak the both of you through the subterranean parking lot, because god forbid someone saw Jungkook arriving at some chick’s dorm on a saturday afternoon) you swore you would be able to conceal whatever emotional turmoil you had going inside of you without compromising your regular behaviour around the man, but when push comes to shove, it’s impossible to keep yourself from wondering how far you could go before that special someone found out what was going on inside of your head.

Jungkook’s phone rings in his pocket with some annoying tone he had downloaded illegally from youtube the same day the company had handed over the device as a gift for him (you still were a little bitter over how they neglected the rest of the staff but you also knew it was kind of impossible for the human kind to just gift a-thousand-dollar-phones to almost five hundred people out of solidarity). “Hyung?” he picks up, still wary of your unusual behaviour, concerned eyes looking at you. “No, uh- i’m with Yugyeom right now.” and your heart shatters into a million pieces.

You have been suspecting for a while that Jungkook is being hesitant to introduce you to his social circle. Although, you’ve tried your best not to take it personal, it is getting harder to resist the urge to ask him what the fuck is up with that. The fact that Jungkook had to lie about the person he was hanging out with broke your ego; he could’ve just said he was with a friend, right? You suddenly feel like you’re fifteen again, when the guy you liked would love you in the dark but pretend he didn’t know you in the light.

Holding your tears back, you gently push him off and make your way towards the bathroom in the most nonchalant way you could. This is your fault for falling for the nice popular guy in the first place, you remind the reflection staring back at you. Still, as bad as it hurt, there was no way you were going to cry over a stupid boy, let alone when he was literally sat on the next room. He can go fuck himself if he thinks he can just toss this behind as if nothing ever happened.

You text Chaeryeong instead.

“chaery bom bom: i swear to god i gonna throw hands the next time i see the bitch.

chaery bom bom: like who the hell does he think he is? fucking squidward looking asshole.

chaery bom bom: he ain’t even that cute bub, you’ll get over him. i know jinyoung wouldn’t treat you like this”

You sigh. Chaeryeong has been enamored with the idea of you and his former company colleague from GOT7 since the day she met the guy (which was somewhere around ten years ago), and although he was all that, you didn’t like his quiet and cold aura, it intimidated the fuck out of you (Jungkook was the entire opposite of that).

You spray on some perfume just to have an excuse as to why you randomly ran to the bathroom when Jungkook’s inquiring eyes stare as you sit back on the couch, which is exactly what he does. “You done with your call?” you ask, bitter.

Jungkook frowns, a bit taken aback by the sudden question but still unaware of the way his words had made you feel, not even sensing the hostile change in your mood. “Yes, it was one of our managers. He was wondering if I could come back to reshoot some...-thing.”

Okay, now you kind of understand as to why he lied in the first place and to say you feel guilty is an understatement. “I supposed he backed down once you mentioned you were hanging out with Yugyeom.” playfulness makes its appearance on your tone and Jungkook rolls his eyes at you, tongue poking on the inside of his slightly red cheeks.

“Sorry for that” he moves closer and cuddles your arm, like a sad guilty puppy. “It’s just- I don’t want them asking questions''.

You understand. He is a very reserved and private person after all. It took you a bit to crack him open yourself. Plus, you kind of share that trait with him, you’d hate it too if people were constantly on your nerves for the people you decide to hang out with.

And that’s all it takes to forgive him. Not very cash money of you.

“You better not pull that shit again, though” you shift in his hold and he looks up at you. One look into your eyes and he knows what you mean. “I’ll kick you out.”

After nodding, Jungkook resumes his concentration on the series you picked out for him. Due to your short attention span, you are very picky about what you invest your time in, especifically with audiovisual pieces of media, so Jungkook trusts you whenever you recommend something on very rare occasions. As a matter of fact, Jungkook was busy attacking your kitchen counters for snacks (which you didn’t have) when you mentioned Money Heist. “Munch on some grapes instead” you suggested to soothe his disappointment.

You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

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shenzcorner · 3 years

Text

Shenz’s Undertale Fanfic Recommendations

‘Ello! Just a main post of fics I’ve read and enjoyed and hopefully you’ll find a few that suit you. I’ll update it as I find more and edit should new developments happen.

But also be mindful of the rating notes I put, because I am an ADULT so most of them will be 18+ or 16+ and further warnings of it’s content will be given as well. And be mindful of the tags of the stories as well.

They aren’t in any specific order and just grouped according to type of reader/MCs.

POLY FICS:

Human!Readers/OCs fics

1. The House on Lane 66 by OolongTeacup (NOTE: EXPLICIT WORK. 18+ because of adult themes and activities.)

Summary: You just started your last year of college and you need a job. Badly. When a wanted ad online leads you to the forests surrounding Mt. Ebott, to a giant, brick house full of monsters, you wonder if this might be worth it. Some of these monsters seem alright; friendly, even. Others - downright terrifying. ...but you really need this job.

2. Free Love by @happytheoristdreamer (NOTE: Mature - EXPLICIT rating. 18+ for adult themes.)

Summary: Barista by day and DJ by night (Gigs only). Sadly, that’s not enough for you to get by and you are put out of your home suddenly. You have nowhere to go but you get picked up by a regular customer that you see every day. He offers you a helping hand and you accept. Moving into his place until you’re back on your feet. But you weren’t expecting to live in a full house of skeleton monsters.

3. Witches And Demons Are Very Different by SaltyLemonJuice (NOTE: EXPLICIT rating. 18+. Graphic depictions of violence. Adult themes. Tagged with Fontcest, but I can’t recall seeing any but just be safe for those that don’t like that.) ((Hasn’t been updated in over a year))

Summary: I'm the Devil, I can do what I want. Whatever I got I'm gonna flaunt. -Tenacious D.

Inheriting a large house leaves too much room to take care of, so you ask the monster house sitter if she knows anyone who will want to move in. She smiles and suggests this 'family' who has been needing a big enough place for a while. You decide why not let some strangers into your home and play hotel for skeletons.

Monster!Readers/OCs fics

1. Skeleton x Skeleton by @pumpkinflash (NOTE: Mature. 16+)

Summary: You're a mystic skeleton who was heading to Ebott City for some monster food, when you got caught in a trap. You end up getting saved by a ghost skeleton and a weird skeleton who invite you to spend the night at their house. Life was already pretty interesting but who new meeting random skeletons in the wood could make your life way more interesting and exciting. Not that you're complaining.

2. Fucking Superb You Funky Little Bat by @itsthesinbin (NOTE: NSFW is on their blog and the story has graphic descriptions of violence)

Summary: You don't know much- you don't remember your name, your past, or even what you looked like as a human. You only know a few things: How to get food, when you need blood, and when to find shelter. Something you really don't know? Why some walking, talking Skeletons insist on bringing you burnt food every day.

3. The Spirit of the Wolf by DragonFire234 (NOTE: Mature. Graphic depictions of violence and gore in certain chapters. Aspects of dubcon with the element of Forced Soul Bonding.)

Summary: She was going to survive, all she had to do was wait. When the skeleton monsters joined her, she felt pity that they were in her situation. When they finally broke out, she needed to get as far away from the humans as possible, to freedom. She didn't expect to meet other versions of the two skeleton brothers she met in her prison, and she didn't like that two were trying to intimidate her. If anyone was in charge, it was her. She wouldn't knuckle under while being tortured, and she wasn't about to start now.

4. The Thornberry Magus and the Skeletons by AmbrosiaOfStories (NOTE: Mature. 16+. There is a warning for graphic depictions of violence.)

Summary: Born from a thorned "Atropa belladonna"—or a nightshade (berry) bush and the blood of a Mage, you were considered an abomination upon your brethren of the Fae Folk for many centuries. You roamed the world as an outcast; studying humanity as it rose and fell, only to repeat the process time and again, and gaining knowledge outside of the Faerie Realm. Until one day, your sins were forgiven as you put yourself on the line to save the Faerie Realm from unjust damnation at the cost of half of your power. That was 150 years ago, and now—in the year 20XX—with the release of your races’ long lost brethren, the Monsters; the world of Humans and Fae are shaken once more…However…Something is strange…

5. But No One Came by @miniember (NOTE: EXPLICIT. 18+. Adult themes. Fontcest/Sanscest/Papsest is in this story.)

Summary: Reader eats some monster food and BAM, she can see stats. A few months later, seeing stats outside of encounters has completely destroyed her life so she packs up and moves away. A chance encounter with a lanky skele sends her life in a new direction. Who knows if its a good one?

----------------------------

Season 1: Fluffy Beginnings (Chapters 1-11) Season 2: Nightmare Arc (12-22) Season 3: ??? (23-??)

Sinful Chapters: 2*

#AO3 fic #AO3 fanfic #fanfic reccomendation #undertale #undertale au #poly fic

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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Text

Written In The Stars CXIV (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: Book 6 is oficially finished but I still have a lot of editing to do bc I still don’t like it much jsdjs -Danny

Words: 3,387

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listent to: ‘Say Something’ -by A Great Big World

Chapter Twelve: The New Routine.

Mel was making zero progress on Occlumency, but she was quite good at Legilimency.

She blamed this on the fact that she was now having one lesson every two weeks instead of once a week, which made her progress go slower.

Thankfully though, Dumbledore hadn't mentioned his brother at all, so she assumed her grandad had kept things to himself. On Monday, the girl walked into the common room and noticed a small group of her friends around the notice board.

— by order of—

The High Inquisitor of Hogwarts

All Student Organizations, Societies, Teams, Groups, and Clubs are henceforth disbanded.

An Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club is hereby defined as a regular meeting of three or more students.

Permission to re-form may be sought from the High Inquisitor (Professor Umbridge)...

Mel stormed out of the place. She didn't speak until she reached the Gryffindor table at the Great Hall. Fred, George, Neville, Ginny and Dean sat around her.

"We didn't say a thing."

"We promise, Mel."

"I know you didn't," She said. "Hermione jinxed the parchment you signed, she told me yesterday. You wouldn't be all lively have you been the ones to blame."

"What was supposed to happen?"

"Dunno, but it was supposed to hurt and it was supposed to be noticeable," She forced a spoonful of cereal down her throat, just to have something to do and calm her spirits.

"No one looks injured," Ginny looked around the Great Hall. "Most of the people that were in the meeting are here, but we would've heard if any had woken up with their faces all messed up, right?"

Mel dropped her spoon.

"I told Hermione this would happen! If my Grandfather wasn't the one–"

"Your grandfather?" Neville asked.

"–Then someone heard us, someone who clearly doesn't want us to learn," She ignored Neville's question.

Hermione, Harry and Ron sat close to the group, immediately they all dropped questions on them as well.

"Did you see it?"

"D'you reckon she knows?"

"What are we going to do?"

"We're going to do it anyway, of course," Harry looked at her. "If that's okay with you."

"Why wouldn't it be?" She asked grumpily. "Oh, how I'm wishing to vanish that silly grin of the Toad's face..."

"Knew you'd say that," George hit Harry's arm lightly.

"The prefects as well?" said Fred, looking over at Ron and Hermione.

"Of course."

"Here comes Ernie and Hannah Abbott," said Ron worryingly. "And those Ravenclaw blokes and Smith... and no one looks very spotty."

"Never mind spots, the idiots can't come over here now, it'll look really suspicious — sit down!" She gestured to rejoin their tables. "Later! We'll — talk — to — you — later!"

"I'll take care of them," Mel got up.

"I'll tell Michael," said Ginny, getting up as well. "The fool, honestly... are you all right?"

"Peachy," She replied dryly.

"I saw the way Cho and Harry were ogling at each other the day of the meeting... I'm sorry."

"I don't care," Mel raised a brow, still looking forward. "I'm actually considering asking Fred on a date, you know?"

Before she could hear Ginny's reaction, she quickly approached Hannah and Ernie.

"Morning, guys!" Mel smiled tightly, putting her arms around their shoulders. "Come, let's go to your table..."

"Mel, have you seen–?"

"I have," She insisted, turning them around gently. "Now let's go to your table so we can talk about it calmly..."

"We need permission to re-form the Quidditch team," Ron told her as soon as they sat down to hear Binn's lecture"

"I know, it said so in the parchment," Mel gave him a sorrowful look. "Don't worry Ron, she can't forbid the team to play, it would be unfair, and as long as Harry doesn't give her more reasons to punish him everything will turn out fine."

"Did Ernie and Hannah gave you trouble?"

"Not at all, they were quite understanding," She smiled softly. "I like them, they're good... Very discrete as well, promised they would let their friends know but only when they were sure they were the only ones listening, so you can cross Zach out of your list, he didn't spill the potion."

Twenty minutes into the lesson Hedwig appeared in the window seal, Harry went to get her and came back with a dreadful discovery.

"Oh, Merlin..." Mel gasped in horror.

The bird's wing was twisted in a way it shouldn't have been possible. It was obvious that she was not okay.

Harry stood up and told Professor Bins he didn't feel well, and he needed to go to the hospital wing. Most of their classmates glanced curiously at them but didn't stop him from leaving. The expression on his face was enough to break her heart. Harry was extremely worried about Hedwig, and she was too.

She wondered how was he taking all the news, must've been frustrating for him, after being so excited about standing up for what he believed in. She tried to talk to him after breakfast, but the words simply didn't come, she felt stuck, not knowing how to interact with him anymore.

"Poor Hedwig!" Ron frowned. "It's weird, she'd never been injured before, had she? D'you reckon she was attacked by another animal?"

"This is too much of a coincidence," Mel shook her head, "first the notice board, now this... they're watching us, every form of communication..."

Then it occurred to her. Not every form of communication was being watched, she still had one.

"I need to talk to Erick," She rummaged through her pockets and pulled out her watch.

"Why him?" Ron rolled his eyes. "Do you really think he has the solution for everything?"

"No you dunce," Mel scowled at him. "But for this particular problem, he does..."

She tapped the front of her watch with her wand, then she closed it and held onto it tightly.

"I hope so, at least."

"Who's the letter from anyway?" asked Ron, taking the note from Harry.

"Snuffles," said Harry quietly.

" 'Same time, same place'? Does he mean the fire in the common room?"

"Obviously," said Hermione, also reading the note. She looked uneasy. "I just hope nobody else has read this..."

"But it was still sealed and everything, and nobody would understand what it meant if they didn't know where we'd spoken to him before, would they?"

"I guess so..." Mel put a hand in her pocket and touched her watch. She was hoping her friend could make it on time. "We need to be smarter, though. She clearly has gone through it all."

"It wouldn't be exactly difficult to reseal the scroll by magic..." Hermione agreed. "And if anyone's watching the Floo Network... but I don't really see how we can warn him not to come without that being intercepted too!"

Draco Malfoy was standing just outside Snape's classroom door, waving around a piece of parchment and talking in the tone Mel knew he only used when he wanted to show off, which was always.

"Yeah, Umbridge gave the Slytherin Quidditch team permission to continue playing straight away, I went to ask her first thing this morning. Well, it was pretty much automatic, I mean, she knows my father really well, he's always popping in and out of the Ministry... It'll be interesting to see whether Gryffindor are allowed to keep playing, won't it?"

"Don't rise," Hermione whispered. "It's what he wants..."

"I mean, if it's a question of influence with the Ministry, I don't think they've got much chance... From what my father says, they've been looking for an excuse to sack Arthur Weasley for years... And as for Potter... My father says it's a matter of time before the Ministry has him carted off to St. Mungo's... apparently, they've got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic... reckon the Dumbledores would feel at home there as well."

Before Mel could stop him, Neville launched himself towards the Slytherins.

"Neville, no!" Harry seized the back of Neville's robes. Malfoy could not believe his eyes. "Help me!"

Crabbe and Goyle closed in front of Malfoy. Mel stepped forward, trying to stand as tall as she could. Ron grabbed the boy's arms and he and Harry dragged Neville away.

"I wouldn't move if I were you," Mel said quietly, so calm and composed she surprised herself. "You're way slower than me even with your wands ready. Get lost."

"Not... funny... don't... Mungo's... show... him..." She heard Neville panting behind her.

"I know, Neville," She said, though she kept her eyes fixed on the Slytherin boys. "He didn't mean to be so stupid. Right, Malfoy? Aren't you going to ask them to stop, Prefect?"

Malfoy, maybe because he could sense he wouldn't be able to win this fight, growled to Crabbe and Goyle to step back.

"Fighting, Potter, Weasley, Longbottom?" Snape walked out of the dungeons.

Mel turned to the boys and mouthed 'let him go!'. The boys obeyed her right away.

"He was feeling ill, Professor," She turned around and held Snape's sneer.

"Inside. All of you." He said shortly before entering his dungeon again.

Neville turned to look at his friends in a way he'd never done before.

"I had to stop you," Harry said slowly, picking up their friend's bag. "Crabbe and Goyle would've torn you apart."

"I would never let that happen," Mel walked up to Neville and put a hand on his shoulder. "You hear me, Nev? I would never."

Neville remained quiet, he brushed off her hand and snatched his bag away from Harry's grip. Entering the room in a flash.

"What in the name of Merlin," said Ron in awe, "was that about?"

Harry and Mel were aware of Neville's parents, but it was still a secret, much like every thing in her life right now. Harry said nothing, he was looking at her with a strange scowl, she felt like he was almost mad she had decided to step in. Mel didn't care about it, she let out a tired sigh.

"Everyone has their limits, Ron. Malfoy found his..."

She passed the table she would usually occupy with the group and instead joined Neville, thinking he would be needing extra help being too distracted to pay attention to the lesson.

"I don't need–"

"No need to act all tough and proud," Mel sat down determinedly. "I'm not here to pity you. I'm here to make sure you don't blow up anything."

He lowered his gaze to his cauldron, he didn't try to usher her away after that.

"You will notice," said Snape suddenly, "that we have a guest with us today."

Umbridge was sitting at the darkest corner of the dungeon, it surprised her how she hadn't noticed her there, even though she was wearing her usual blinding pick robes.

"We are continuing with our Strengthening Solutions today, you will find your mixtures as you left them last lesson, if correctly made they should have matured well over the weekend — instructions... on the board. Carry on."

Mel poured her whole attention on her work, she made sure Neville could be a decent student this time as well. She would glance from time to time to Umbridge, trying to guess what she was doing.

"Well, the class seems fairly advanced for their level," Umbridge commented to Snape. "Though I would question whether it is advisable to teach them a potion like the Strengthening Solution. I think the Ministry would prefer it if that was removed from the syllabus. Now... how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?"

"Fourteen years."

"You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?" Professor Umbridge asked Snape.

"Yes," said Snape quietly.

"But you were unsuccessful?"

"Obviously."

"And you have applied regularly for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?"

"Yes..."

"Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?"

"Because Snape's a git," Mel mumbled under her breath.

"I suggest you ask him," said Snape dryly.

"Oh I shall," Professor Umbridge smiled.

"I suppose this is relevant?"

"Oh yes. Yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers' — er — backgrounds..."

"Of course they cared about their backgrounds now," Mel scoffed, still talking in a whisper. "They care about their hobbies, don't they? If they have a knack for fighting governments during the weekends? What a bunch of–"

"Mel, your potion," Neville warned her, noticing the way it was starting to show a green smoke.

"Woops!" She quickly did some arrangements, and the potion was back to normal. "Thanks, Neville."

"I reckon I did well enough in today's lesson!" Neville said proudly, beaming at her. "Thank you for your help..."

"It was a pleasure," She smiled back.

"Sorry for Harry though... you saw how Snape vanished his potion again?"

"Yeah," Mel frowned. "What a twat, but Harry should really try harder..."

"It's weird to hear you talk about him like that," Neville said innocently. "You usually are the first to defend him..."

"I'm the first to defend any of you," She corrected. "I'm not going to support him blindly– I mean, you did well today and you were having a bad morning too, right?"

Neville's smile faded.

"Reckon so, yeah..."

"Hey, I know it's not my place but..." She pondered how to say it without scaring him away. "Whatever got you all worked up, well, I'm always here if you need to talk. You're my friend as much as Harry or Ron..."

When they reached the marble staircase Mel remembered she had a meeting to attend, so she said goodbye to Neville and told him she would meet him in Divination. She ran to the very back of the library and found Erick standing in the corner, peering over a shelf towards the hall. Mel tiptoed until she was right behind him and scared him.

Erick jumped, hitting the side of his face on the edge of the bookshelf. The boy cursed rather loudly and stepped back, a hand rubbing his cheek.

"What is your problem?!"

"Lower your voice!" Mel said in horror. "I'm so sorry! Let me see your face–"

"Don't–"

"C'mon, I can help!"

Mel pulled his hand away and tilted his face towards the light. His cheek was slightly red, but it was uninjured.

"I don't think it'll bruise..." She said, getting closer to him. "What in the name of Godric were you doing? Who are you stalking?"

"I'm not stalking anyone," He complained. "I was... Lately I've been– Move away, will you? You're making me nervous..."

He pushed her aside gently and moved towards the nearest table.

"Let's make this quick," He told her, sitting down. "I want to eat something before Potions, Merlin knows I need it..."

Mel quickly told him about Hedwig and how they were obviously being watched after their meeting in Hogsmeade, Erick listened so intently that he even forgot about making his usual sarcastic remarks, once she ended, he half-smiled.

"You already found a solution, didn't you?"

Mel put her pocket watch on the table and looked at him with resolution.

"We want to keep going," She pointed to the little object on the table. "And we need something like this to spread the news safely and with the certainty that only those who belong in the group are the ones getting it."

"You clever girl..." Erick supported both arms on the table and stared at the watch, his brain already going a thousand miles per hour. "What do you need?"

"Well, for starters, I need to know the charm."

"It'll be easy, you're talented enough– Protean charm, don't forget it."

"We need something like this," She lifted the watch and stared at it. "But people carrying similar watches around the school would be too suspicions... and they're not exactly cheap..."

"You don't need to buy several of the same," Erick replied. "Just reproduce one."

"What?" Mel blinked.

Erick rolled his eyes.

"A doubling charm, you goose. Learn how to do it and you'll get copies of anything in the blink of an eye."

"Oh! Okay..." She smiled.

"Tell Hermione about it," Erick peered over her shoulder anxiously. "I would help you, but we can't take risks and I rather not know a lot about your plans in case... you know..."

"Yes," Mel nodded. "Thank you."

"No problem," He nodded, the concern coming back to his features.

"It's everything okay?"

"What? Why?" He blinked, stepping away from the table. "I'm fine, just tired... haven't slept well."

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter..."

"Erick..." She insisted, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stay in place.

He looked everywhere but her, until finally, Erick let out a strange noise that sounded like half a growl and he rubbed his eyes furiously before pushing her hand away and starting to speak.

"My Grandad..."

Mel felt something heavy on her chest and nodded in understanding.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. If it helps... I'm right here."

He nodded, eyes fixed on the ground.

"I know."

Mel continued with her day, spending most of it with Neville to make sure Malfoy wouldn't take advantage of him if he were to find him alone.

Back in the common room, she saw no reason not to waste her night away with the twins, who were currently showing to a curious crowd their newest products. Her mind had started to drift to what she'd said to Ginny a few hours earlier, but was soon interrupted when she witnessed Fred vomiting into a bucket and forcing a purple candy down his throat.

She was still having fun though, collecting the money and giving the Skiving Snackbox to their new owners. Lee Jordan and George Weasley would take turns with Fred so he wouldn't get all weak from the constant vomiting. She was highly thankful for the vanishing spell, otherwise, that bucket would be beyond disgusting.

Hermione would constantly glare at her and scoff, but Mel smiled innocently through it all. It wasn't her fault what the twins were doing, and they were technically doing nothing against the rules. Her housemates needed this kind of entertainment considering the shitty year they were all having.

"Here's your part, lady," Fred held out a small bunch of sickles for her to take. The crowd had dispersed a while ago, and they've been counting their money before going to bed.

Mel frowned and pushed it back.

"What are you talking about?"

"You were the beautiful assistant back there!" Fred said. "Half of our sells occurred just because you were the one taking the money– Am I wrong, George?"

"Those third-years have it bad for you, Lady," George smirked.

"You've become quite popular overnight," Lee raised a brow. "Don't you remember what the older Gryffindors used to say?"

"Oh yes," Mel laughed. "I was the little feral thing, wasn't I? They would compare me to peeves and all... can't say I miss it."

"You were never like Peeves, though," Fred smiled. "Peeves is quieter."

"Sod off!" She exclaimed over the boys' laughter. "I've changed, haven't I? Didn't really think about it until now..."

"Well, you don't yell at strangers in the halls anymore..."

"And you don't want to fight everyone either..."

"I did all that for stupid reasons," Mel glanced towards Harry. "Really stupid reasons, if you ask me..."

The boys shared a knowing look. Everyone knew at this point that asking her about what had happened between Harry and her was useless, neither of them would say a thing.

"Time for bed, I s'pose," George yawned, getting up from his chair.

"You're sure you don't want this?" Fred raised a brow, showing her the money one last time.

"I don't need it, Fred."

"No need to brag about it," Lee scoffed, taking the money. "It's mine, then."

"Hey!" Fred slapped the back of his head. "Give it back! We're gonna split it!"

They continued their bickering as they disappeared behind the door to the boys' dormitory. Mel had a lazy smile on her face than soon worn out as she realized she'd been left alone in the room with Hermione, Ron and Harry. She got up slowly and made her way towards them.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @sarcasticallywitty15 @21bruhs

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #WITT fic

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starlessskies94 · 4 years

Text

Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Note: I will say that this chapter was a hard one to write...not because of story reasons, I'm just don't feel 100% happy with it. I've edited it time and time again; to the point it's driving me mad. So I've decided to post it as it is because I really don't want to keep obsessing over it and want to continue onward as I believe this plot is good and really don't want to put myself off writing it. I'm actually enjoying it so I'm trying not to push myself or be too critical and take the fun out of it.So I do apologise if it's a disappointing chapter and really hope you do enjoy it.

Chapter Five

The whole town was staring at her, she could feel it when she passed. She’d only stepped out for a quick trip to the general store to grab some last minute ingredients for her and Ellie’s supper. And yet she still felt every set of eyes burning into her back as she made her way home.

They’d been gossiping again, it was painfully obvious. Since Joel’s attack and their unplanned...separation, it seemed like everybody had an opinion on the situation.

Some not agreeing with her choice to give Joel his space; claiming she was ‘abandoning’ him, that she was selfish and cruel. Others had fabricated the idea that she herself had actually planned the attack as revenge for an apparent infidelity Joel had.

It was all ridiculous and Ada didn’t know how much longer she could put up with it. She’s been more than grateful to Ellie for covering her shift in the stables for the past couple of days. It had given her some time to escape it all and pretend it wasn’t happening, just for a little while. Ada was downright exhausted from trying to hold it together. She missed Joel like crazy, wasn’t sleeping after being used to sleeping beside him for years and even when she did manage to fall asleep, it was only racked with nightmares.

She continued down the street; backpack in hand with her groceries inside weighing it down as she struggled slightly, but carried on in her rush to get back. Her boots crunching against the slush of melting snowing under foot, it was quickly beginning to thaw; a clear sign that Spring was well on its way. It was hard to believe it had been almost a whole month since Joel’s attack and though Ada hadn’t spoken to him since he’d woken in the infirmary; she still hoped he was doing okay.

She’d kept up to date on his progress through regular updates from Tommy and it had broken her heart when he’d told of the first day he’d returned to find his older brother, a sobbing mess on the floor of his trashed room as he desperately tried to understand what had happened to him.

It had made her question her decision to leave Joel with time to heal. That perhaps it wasn’t what was best for him. But Tommy had told her he was still struggling to piece his timeline together after losing Sarah. He had taken the time to help with the early years of the Outbreak; all the way through to their time in Boston. But then Joel had gotten overwhelmed and hadn’t brought it up since. That had been enough for them to agree Joel wasn’t ready to process his time as a Smuggler and everything else that had come after it.

At times it almost seemed as if he was repressing most of it and if Adaline was honest, she couldn’t blame him. It was a hard life and most wished they could forget the horrid things they’d done to survive. She just deeply hoped that part of him wasn’t holding back his memories of her and Ellie.

It seemed that her deep thoughts had run away from her as she suddenly bumped into a large chest almost slipping on some snow. The tug of large gloved hands stopped her as they held gently onto the small of her back and she managed to steady herself. Ada quickly collected herself as she looked up at the face of her saviour and her heart almost stopped.

“Whoa easy there...you okay miss?” Joel smiled kindly, taking a step back as his arms fell back to his sides. Ada gulped down a gasp, choking slightly at her words before speaking.

“Ye- Yes...Thank you.” She forced, her heart drumming in her chest. Both staring at one another in an awkward silence. She looked at him and almost cried. He stood balanced with a cane in his hand, his kind eyes sore and bloodshot from exhaustion as he looked back at her. His clothes were noticeably loose on his frame, she wondered when he’d last ate. Joel was a terrible cook, it had always been her job to keep him well fed. It had been a long running joke between them but now it just made her hurt. She swallowed hard pulling at the bag in her hand, her feet shuffling as she quickly thought of something to say.

“I’m sorry for walking into you, my mind was somewhere else completely.” She explained pitifully, Joel just smiled again while waving his hand dismissively.

“Nah don’t worry about it, I was just trying to find my way home.”

“Are you lost?” She asked almost too fast, her brows creasing in concern. Her husband cringed at the blatant embarrassment he felt at forgetting his way back after leaving the stables but it’d been a long day and after failing to find his younger brother, Joel was quite content with simply heading home and waiting for Tommy to find him, rather than wander around Jackson all day. Though it had seemed on his way back, he had gotten confused with the winding streets and ended up right back where he started. He blushed at Ada’s concern, his hand reaching up to rub at his neck in that bashful way he always did when he felt flustered. Even now Ada still found it adorable.

“Yeah...You...uh... wouldn’t happen to know where I live would ya?” He asked sheepishly. “Yeah I can walk you back if you want, it’s not that far from my place.”

He nodded, falling into a gentle pace beside her as they walked together. Ada keeping her speed slow enough for him to keep up with his cane aiding his injured leg.

“Hey I wanted to thank you…” Joel started as they continued walking, Ada glancing his way while he continued. “You were a volunteer at the infirmary right? Adaline...You helped take care of me while I was in a bad way. Don’t think I ever managed to thank you for that.”

Ada smiled timidly.

“Yeah that’s me, it's just Ada. You’re welcome. I’m...I’m glad you’re okay.”

They continued walking as the silence fell between them but it wasn’t comfortable like it normally was. It felt strained and rather awkward. Joel would wince at the ache in his bad leg the further down the street they went and Ada could tell he was frustrated with the cane he’d been given to accommodate his injury. He’d always been a bad patient, stubborn and restless; even with something as simple as a cold she had struggled to keep him in bed to rest. Ada would steal the occasional glance at him when he wasn’t looking, it felt strange to miss him now even though he was right beside her. She wanted to hold him, kiss him, even settle for falling asleep together on the couch as a crappy movie played on in the background.

Joel paused as they approached his house...their house. His eyes almost searching hers for something she couldn’t quite place. He smiled sincerely, leaning on his cane the longer he stared at her. They stopped and stood at the bottom of the small set of stairs that led to the patio.

“Think this is me...Thanks for this.” He grinned. “I still can’t remember what the hell happened, been going over it in my head damn near a thousand times and I still got nothing. But I’m grateful your girl and her friends found me when they did.” This caught Ada’s attention, brown eyes snapping back up at Joel.

“You talked to Ellie?”

“Yeah at the stables earlier this morning. Her and her girlfriend...Dina? Yeah that sounds right. She’s a good kid.”

“She is.” Ada agreed. The sadness weighing heavily in her heart at the lost and pain Ellie had struggled with since Joel’s attack. Her mind instantly filled with worry, hoping she was okay. She listened politely to her husband the more he talked about Ellie and the hard work she was doing with Dina and how proud she should be that her daughter was handling things so well at such a young age. Our daughter, she’d thought with a broken heart. Tommy had explained patrols to him a short while ago and he was amazed at how many teenagers had offered to take the watches and joined the ranks to protect the town. It was impressive to Joel to see so many young people step up to take care of their families. Even if he did think some were a little too young to be taking such dangerous routes. Ada smiled at the same old Joel shining through, it made her realise just how much she truly did miss him. She was about to bid him a bittersweet goodbye, preparing to force her away when all she really wanted to do was pull him close, even just for a moment, when he cleared his throat. A serious look darkening his features.

“Listen, I meant to ask before but I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or not but I uh...heard you in the infirmary not long after I woke up. You were upset, asking about your husband I think, I guess I just wanted to ask if everything was okay.” His words were quiet but she heard them, her breath catching in her throat, heart racing as she panicked, rushing to string her words together to answer.

“Uh...he’s...gone. He went out on patrol a couple weeks ago. He still hasn’t come back yet.” It wasn’t a complete lie. After all, the man that had returned from patrol that day hadn’t been her husband. He was a stranger to her now. A ghost that just looked like her Joel. It struck her as she wondered if that side of him really would stay gone. That there really was the possibility that he really never was going to come back. It turned her cold the more she thought about it.

Joel’s face fell as he dropped his gaze to the floor, a sad sigh brushing passed his lips.

“Damn...I’m really sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. How hard that must be for Ellie to lose her dad like that…”

“You have no idea.” She breathed. Those were the words that came from Ada’s lips but more than anything she wanted to tell Joel how much Ellie missed him. How much they both did. But Ada knew she couldn’t be selfish, telling Joel now would only further overwhelm him, confuse him. And that wasn’t fair on anyone. None of this was. It wasn’t Joel’s fault, he was just trying to be friendly to someone he thought was a simple acquaintance. But Ada didn’t think she could stand there much longer and continue to pretend this wasn’t tearing her apart inside.

She turned pulling at the bag of groceries and forced a small smile Joel’s way as politely as she could.

“I should really be heading back, you think you’ll be okay now?”

“Oh yeah, thanks again. It sounds ridiculous to need help getting to a house you’ve lived in for years but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it now. I’m sorry for prying too, it’s obviously upset you. That wasn’t my intention.” Ada could almost laugh at the fact that even now after everything; Joel could still see right through her mask and sense how she was feeling. It was one of the reasons she fell in love with him. “I’m sorry about your husband Ada... I really hope he finds his way back to you and your girl.”

“Yeah me too.” She didn’t look back as she walked away. She couldn’t. It hurt too damn much.

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By the time she got home, Ada couldn’t even feel the chill in the air anymore. She was too damn numb to know it was even there.

Her hand was shaking when she reached to unlock the door but found it was already open.

“Ellie?” She called out stepping inside the door. “Ellie you home?” She tried again, making her way through the small house and wandering into the kitchen to put away her groceries. Still nothing.

She noticed her daughter’s jacket and boots thrown in a heap by the back door and rolled her eyes with a huff. I’ve told that girl a hundred times to put her stuff away! She thought in irritation as she moved to tidy them up.

“Ellie!”

There was still no answer and Ada came to the conclusion that the teen must be in her room, headphones in, music cranked up again. Slipping off her own boots, she made her way upstairs. She could hear Ellie stomping about her room, moving to knock at the door before entering. When she stepped inside she hesitated when she saw her daughter rushing around the space, darting back and forth with clothes and packed food. Her gun was cleaned slid into the back of her jeans along with her faithful pocket knife in the back pocket of her jeans. Ada's eyes widened at the maps and, marked photos and tourist leaflets littered across Ellie’s bed.

“Ellie what do you think you’re doing?” She choked out, her voice strained against her suddenly dry throat.

The girl didn’t look up at her mother as she hastily continued to pack.

“What does it look like?” She uttered. “I’m going after them.”

“The hell you are! Put this stuff away now.” Ada ordered, this made Ellie stop. As she looked back at her mom with pure venom in her eyes. Her lips curled in anger. Although it had been nearly a month since Joel's attack, Ellie and Ada still haven't addressed the elephant in the room. The same damn thing that had been hanging over all of them since Saint Mary’s Hospital. The Fireflies.

“So they just get to get away with this?!” She spat at the older woman. The anger boiling in her veins as she stomped back over to the mess of maps on her bed. “Mom I can find those fuckers, Tommy said he’d gotten word they were headed towards Seattle. Dina agreed to help me with this, we can find them and I can-”

“Ellie they don’t matter anymore. It’s over. Joel is what’s important and he needs us here.”

The teen scoffed bitterly at her mother’s words, biting hard on her lip almost drawing blood. Her hands clenched tightly until her knuckles burned.

“They don’t matter?! They almost killed him, tortured him and you’re just gonna let them walk away?!”

“They believe he is dead and we need to keep it that way, you go running after them, whaddya you think they’ll do huh?! Joel needs us here, when he remembers-”

“STOP WITH THE BULLSHIT!” Ellie screamed. “He’s gone mom, don’t you get that?! He doesn't remember us! We mean nothing to him! Stop pretending everything is going to be okay because it fucking isn't! Joel’s gone!" Her mother froze at her words and Ellie gasped as her hand flew to cover her mouth at what she’d just said.

Her brain slowly catching up with her as the tension melted away, the air almost sobering the two as they stared blankly at one another. Brown eyes welled with tears, slowly rolling down Ada’s cheeks. The woman falling to her knees as a wet sob broke from her lips, Ellie rushed to her mother dropping beside her with arms attempting to pull her close.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry mom.” She whispered into her mother’s hair, holding her close against her shoulder. “I shouldn’t...I never should’ve…” She felt at a loss for words. For what could she possibly say to make up for it. It was cruel and she wished more than anything that she could take it all back.

Ellie was tired of hurting people, tired of losing and watching those she loved leave. What good was being the fucking cure to mankind if all it did was bring misery and death everywhere she went?! It wasn’t fair! She hadn’t asked for this, hadn’t wanted to be immune or some special chosen one. Since the day she’d been bitten nothing had been the same and nothing had been easy.

But when she’d finally had the chance to have something good...a real fucking family. It had been cruelly snatched her just like everything else!

Ellie knew how much her mom missed Joel, how heartbroken she was. She held her as she cried for a man they both knew had a strong chance of never coming back. What if he never remembered? She had spoken to him and it had been like talking to a stranger. A man so far gone that he couldn’t even remember her name.

In that moment Ellie broke, collapsing against her mother as she felt hands rub at her back in that soothing way she’d always done since she was a baby. They sat and they cried together. Mother and daughter mourning for a lost husband...and a lost father.

#joel miller #joel miller x oc #joel and ellie #the last of us part 2 #the last of us #the last of us part ii #fanfiction #Starlesskies writes

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morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy · 3 years

Note

All of them *^*

Heya Ash!! Oof you're giving me a project lol thank you so much for the ask!!!

1. How big is your mods folder?

That is a really great question. I couldn't tell you off the top of my head, but it got to the point where I had to put all my mods on a thumb drive and only move them around as I need them because I'm computer was running so terribly. So I'd say it's a lot 😅.

2. How would you describe your style?

Uh, I would say very graphic novel type vibes. I'm a huge graphic novel buff and the story I'm actually working on I intended to be a graphic novel, but it really got away from me and is much too big for that now (not a brag, just my legitimate crack head antics) so when I got into Sims editing the thought was always to kind of keep the drawn/comicbook-y feel to it.

3. What is your favorite challenge?

Thus far it's been the stereotype challenge ! It was a lot of fun and I got to do it with four of my OCs who ended up fitting the criteria pretty well! I just think it came out really well both as an edit and as my OCs.

4. Do you make CC?

Aahahaahahahhaahahaah!!!!!! No. I tried to make poses one time! One singular time and it ended so poorly that I decided to swear off making anymore off my own CC for the distant future. Maybe I'll try it again, maybe I'm scarred for life, only time can tell!

5. What type of CC do you hoard?

I had answered this one before, but I FUCKING LOVE POSES!!!! And like I said I didn't have the best experience making my own so I prefer to use downloaded ones. But I never really clean out my poses in case I need them for something else! So my pose folder is astronomical at this point.

6. What default eyes and skin do you use?

You know.... This really is a question I should have the answer to but I'm totally drawing a blank right now so I'll go ahead and put a link to the eyes here and the skin here when I can look it up! ✌

7. How many URLs have you had, and what are the meanings behind them?

On this blog I've only had the one? And I feel like it's pretty self explanatory, I love Morgyn because 1.) They're the absolute best 2.) Untamed magic? Yes ma'am! 3.) They're gender fluid / nonbinary like me!! And 4.) They're an absolute snack!!!! So it was a perfect fit for me.

8. Who is your favorite gameplay blog?

Why would you do me like this??????? I can't choose!!! I love them all and I'm friends with all of them because they're absolutely amazing people that I love so much!!! I don't have a favorite! 🥺

9. Favorite story telling blog?

Please see above answer!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS ALL SO MUCH I AHDHAHSGA I CANT!!!!

10. Who is your favorite CC creator?

I don't really want to answer this one either 😭 but I think the only person I know that makes CC is the awesome @barbieaiden they made a really kick ass emo glove CC that I absolutely love and you should check out. (Sorry if the rest of you make CC I'm sure I've probably seen it, probably even downloaded and reblogged, but this is all I can think if right now 💜) Also my go to for all pose stuff is the glorious @katverse they do incredible poses for pretty much anything you could think up, highly recommend.

11. How do you edit you photos?

This is certainly going to get a few gasps, but I make all of my edits on my phone!!!!! I use just a basic free photo editor app and kind of bend it to my will to get what I want out of it! I'm really bad at figuring out stuff like Photoshop and I'm not willing to pay the expensive price when I can do it and get just as good as a result as I want from something free easy and portable.

12. What's the last screenshot you took?

Once again it has to do with an edit I'm working on so here's the last one I put up if you're interested.

13. What do you do when you are unmotivated?

Honestly, this! Editing and the Sims are my escape from the real world. It helps me when I'm having a hard time with my anxiety because it gives me control over something, it helps me a lot with writer's block I can't tell you how my stories have been inspired because of it. But I guess if I'm bored in the game I usually just start a new save or play another game for a bit, I always come back after like a day though! To be fair I haven't been doing this long enough to feel unmotivated yet, maybe we should revisit this when I've been doing this longer than two months 😅

14. Who is your current favorite Sim?

Ugh!!! As you guys have found out about me I don't like to play favorites......... But if I had to say maybe my OC Parker's Sim, he just came out perfectly and is just spot on.

15. Who is your current favorite Sims that isn't yours?

Guidry!!!! He's frickin' hilarious and just so great. I honestly didn't expect them to put as much into him as they did but I'm glad they did!!! He's the best!! He's no Morgyn, but he's pretty great too.

16. Recreate someone else's Sim in your style.

So this sounds like a lot of fun! But I really don't want to change anyone else's Sim, I know how much we all put into them and they're basically like our babies. They mean a lot, so unless I get explicit consent from someone saying I can use their Sim in my style I'm going to pass out of respect this time.

17. Do you talk about the Sims with people in your life?

Yes! One of my really close friends is the whole reason I'm into editing and mods and stuff! She showed me everything I know and is totally awesome for that. (@jennifermakesstuff on Instagram, go check out she's absolutely amazing and a crocheting god, go do it)

18. How many packs do you own?

.......... I don't want to answer this..... It's honestly a problem..... But I have them all.... Minus the star wars one I just I cannot bring myself to get it, it just looks terrible. But yeah I collect the packs and it's a problem 😅 but if you need advice on what pack to get next I'm your person!

19. How many posts do you have on your blog currently?

141 👀 I uh.... I have nothing else to say about that lol

20. How many drafts do you have currently?

Too many. But they're all like ask games and stuff for my OCs so yup!

21. How many posts are currently in your queue?

Only two 🙃 I need to get back to editing so I can hopefully have some more but I'm sick right now so... Maybe it's time for me to start that gameplay I've been threatening.

22. Have you ever moved blogs?

Okay yes, but not intentionally but I've moved three times? I had a blog for when I first started on tumblr it was for music stuff but I forgot to pass code to it so now it's just there, the other one I had was for my art & make up stuff but it wasn't doing good at all so I just turned it into my personal blog, and then from there I moved to this one! Also I'm avoiding my personal one like the plague right now because of a whole disaster that happened with someone I followed and I don't have the balls to unfollow them so I'm just pretending that account doesn't exist 😅.

23. Are you in any Sims related discords?

Yep! This one right here by the very amazing @clumsyghostie I'm really new to discord so it's the only one I've been apart of (EVER) but everyone has been really nice and friendly!!

24. What are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (Paranormal)

I like it! It added more to the gameplay than past packs have, but I always felt it left something to be desired in the way of CAS and build mode. Spoilers starting here if you care: Also it would've been cool if you could have had more interactions with Temperance like you can with Guidry, and if the specters did more that would be cool too. Either way I think it's good, I wouldn't say it's groundbreaking for the game experience, but it is fun.

25. How many hours have you played the Sims?

Let's find out 3,215 hours 😅 that's board line a problem hahaha if my math is right (it probably isn't because I'm gay and bad at math) that's a hundred and thirty three days straight? Jesus I might need help lol.

26. If you play gameplay, do you play with mods?

I used to! But I play on a regular laptop so it can't really run gameplay mods unfortunately so unless I'm doing edits my game is vanilla.

27. What's the furthest you've gotten on a challenge?

So I'm really bad at challenges! My favorite lately has been rags to riches it's a lot of fun but I always get bored after they get married and pregnant :/ I never know what to do after that because like the challenge is over but I'm so invested in these Sims ��

Thank you again for the asks! This was a lot of fun 💖 I know I answered all the questions just now but feel free to send me an ask for whatever you want! I love interacting with you all, you're all so amazing 💖💖💖

#get to know the simblr #get to know me #izzy answers things #izzy speaks but i really shouldnt #lilypixels #love ya ash!!!#ask game #ask #send me an ask if you want

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suckmysupernatural · 4 years

Text

Sunshine - Chapter 7

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2005

Pairing: Sam x OC Sunny

Series Summary: The Winchesters meet a cheerful hunter named Sunny, who quickly captures Sam’s attention. Little do any of them know what lies in store when Sunny gets invited to join the brothers. Who can say how Sam, Dean, and Sunny will be some training days, a handful of hunts, romantic dates, a kidnapping, and one vengeful demon later.

Chapter Summary: After another training session, Sunny offers to go get dinner.

Warnings: language, sparring

A/N: I will be posting all of Sunshine this week! I need to edit the chapters I have written already, but other than that they are good to go! I know that OC/OFC fics aren’t the most popular, but this series has a special place in my heart -----------------------------------------

Two Months Later

Walking into the mat room, Sunny cleared her throat to get the brothers’ attention. Sam looked over to his girlfriend, a smile growing on his face. The two of them were closer than ever and he couldn’t be happier. Sunny had moved into Sam’s room a month ago and somehow the ‘honeymoon phase’ still hadn’t worn off. They were both as obsessed with one another as they had been at the beginning. While they hadn’t said the words yet, the love between them was obvious.

The lessons had continued slowly, Sam and Dean working on feeling their surroundings. After Sunny’s special lesson, Sam had caught up to where Dean was. Today, Sunny had decided to step things up a notch.

“Okay, boys. You guys have been doing great so far. I want to show you what you are aiming for,” Sunny said, pulling a long piece of fabric from her pocket. The men recognized it as a blindfold.

“Ooh, are we getting sexy today?” Dean quipped.

“If you wanna be a smartass Dean-y boy, you can go first,” Sunny smiled. Dean shrugged, reaching out a hand to take the blindfold from Sunny. She chuckled, moving the fabric out of his reach. “Oh, you thought this was for you?”

Dean’s eyebrows raised as she walked to the center of the room. She motioned for Dean to follow, allowing Sam to stay on the sidelines to watch. She reached up and tied the fabric over her eyes, adjusting it so that no light seeped through. Dean looked over to Sam for some form of explanation but was only met with a shrug.

“Okay, Dean. I want you to try to pin me on the ground,” Sunny instructed. Dean chuckled to himself.

“Sweetheart, I know you are good but this is gonna be easy,” Dean said. He was one cocky son of a bitch sometimes.

“Prove it,” Sunny egged him on. Dean let out another laugh before launching himself forward in an attempt to tackle the woman. Just as he was about to reach her, Sunny side-stepped, letting Dean stumble onto the floor. Standing up, he brushed it off as beginner’s luck. Sunny turned to face him, throwing a punch that landed on the edge of his jaw.

“Motherfucker!” Dean swore, his hand reaching up to cradle his face. He could feel the heat coming from the injury as blood rushed to create a bruise.

“Don’t go easy on me Dean because I am not going easy on you,” Sunny shrugged. Dean straightened himself up, determination flashing in his eyes. He attempted to make his feet land light, walking around Sunny so he was facing her back. He quickly stepped forward, his right arm hooking around her neck. She used both of her hands to grab his forearm, launching him over her shoulder. His back hit the mat floor with a thud, Sam’s laughter filling the room. Dean shot his brother a look before standing up once more. Facing her, Dean brought his arm back to throw a punch. Sunny ducked down, hitting Dean twice in the stomach. He brought his knee up, connecting it with her stomach. Sunny groaned slightly but didn’t stop in her assault. Spinning, she brought her foot up and kicked Dean’s face. The hit brought him to the floor of the mat once more, the room spinning. Sunny untied the blindfold with one hand, blinking to adjust as the light flooded her eyes. Looking down at Dean, she gave a smirk of satisfaction.

“You were saying?” Sunny reached out a hand, pulling Dean up. “ I can’t tell what’s more bruised: your ego, or your face.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s my goddamn face,” Dean whined.

“You have two options: go get some ice or stay and watch me kick your brother’s ass,” Sunny offered. Dean took a second to weigh his options before sitting against the wall. It wasn’t every day you got to see a blindfolded woman beat the crap out of your brother. Sam walked up to Sunny, visibly nervous.

“I don’t like the thought of trying to throw punches at you,” Sam admitted. Usually hitting your girlfriend was frowned upon.

“Don’t worry, babe. It’s not like any will land,” Sunny teased. Sam rolled his eyes but could accept that answer. If what just happened with Dean was any indication, he was about to get his ass handed to him.

---------------------------------

The three hunters sat in the kitchen, Sam and Dean both holding ice packs to their faces. Sam’s fight with Sunny had gone quite similar to his brother’s, if not worse. His right eye was now sporting a deep purple bruise to prove it. Walking over to the men, Sunny handed them each a beer.

“How are you two feeling?” She asked.

“Sore,” Sam answered.

“Annoyed,” Dean replied. Sunny giggled at the answer.

“Well, Dean, at least you know to never underestimate me.” Sunny went to look through the cupboards for something to make for dinner. She frowned, coming up empty-handed. They had gotten back from a hunt a few days ago and have yet to go grocery shopping. “Why don’t I go out and grab food for us? You both could use the rest and there is nothing to cook here.”

“I can go with you,” Sam offered. She smiled but shrugged him off.

“No, no. You just chill here, I’ll be back in like 30. What do you guys want?” She asked.

“Burgers!” Dean yelled out before Sam got a chance to suggest anything remotely healthy. Both Sam and Sunny laughed at the outburst.

“Yeah, Burgers is fine. Just get mine lettuce-wrapped?” Sam requested. Sunny nodded and left headed to the garage. After spending multiple months with the boys, she had noticed their eating habits were both incredibly consistent. Dean always got the greasiest thing on the menu, while Sam got the exact opposite. Sunny was the wild card of the three, always opting to try new things.

Grabbing the keys to her Cadillac, she couldn’t help but grin. It was rare that she got to drive her car now that she was with the boys. They always took the Impala and while it didn’t necessarily bother her, Sunny did miss the feeling of being in the driver’s seat. Soon, she was out of the bunker’s garage and out on the open road. Sunny rolled her windows down, the cool air whipping around her.

Sunny made her way to the center of town to the burger joint that she and the Winchesters frequented often. Sam liked that there was a vegan restaurant next door and could always grab something there if he didn’t feel like greasy food. It took a while for Sunny to find parking, needing to use the parking lot directly behind the restaurants and nearby shops. Stepping out, she locked her car and checked her back pocket to make sure she had a credit card on her. Once she was sure that she had what was needed, she headed inside the restaurant. It had gotten pretty late, so Sunny wasn’t surprised that there were only a few customers. In the corner sat a man who had probably just gotten off of work, the tie of his suit loosened and jacket over the back of his seat. There was a teenage couple sharing a plate of fries and a milkshake over in the corner. Sunny smiled, remembering her teenage dates. They were always so full of giddiness, a sense of excitement in the air. One family sat at a larger table, two parents with a handful of rowdy children. Sunny couldn’t help but wonder if that was ever going to be an option for her, a family.

Pushing off the difficult question, Sunny approached the counter where a bored teen girl stood typing on her phone.

“Um… hi,” Sunny got her attention.

“Good evening, what can I getcha?” the girl said. It was obvious that she wanted to get back to whatever she had been doing but Sunny chose to ignore it.

“Can I get one hamburger with the lettuce wrap instead of the bun, a double bacon cheeseburger, a regular cheeseburger with no onions, three fries, and a strawberry milkshake to-go?” Sunny ordered. After watching the couple share the milkshake, she couldn’t help but crave one herself. The girl at the register rang her up and Sunny was left to wait for the order. She sat at one of the many empty tables, continuing to sneak glances at the other patrons.

The couple from earlier were now taking selfies, most likely to post about their date. The mom from the family was rocking the smallest of the children in an attempt to get her to sleep. The man in the corner seemed to have finished his meal, now looking at his phone as he slowly grabbed the jacket from the back of the seat. It was a calm night and Sunny appreciated it. It wasn’t every night where she could feel like a normal person just grabbing food for her boyfriend and friend.

Sunny’s order number was called out and she went to the counter to grab the food. It would take both hands to carry everything, but she didn’t mind. It would just be a little tougher once she got to the car. Approaching the door, she saw the businessman from the corner in her peripheral. He was leaving, as well, and quickened his pace to open the door for her. Sunny thanked him, passing through the now open door, and made the way back to her car.

But before she could reach the Cadillac she felt something sharp impale into the back of her neck. Within seconds, Sunny blacked out, the meals and milkshake falling from her hands onto the pavement. Sunny would have followed suit but before she could reach the ground a pair of arms scooped her up.

--------------------------------

“Ugh, where’s Sunny? I’m starving,” Dean complained for what felt like the hundredth time. Sam rolled his eyes, looking at the clock to see that it had been 40 minutes. It must have been a busy night or something,

It was then that Sam’s phone rang. He glanced down at where it sat on the table, Sunny’s face lit up his screen. Sam pressed accept before bringing the device up to his ear.

“Hey, Sun. Where are you?” he asked. At first, he was met with silence until an unfamiliar voice spoke up.

“Sam Winchester. Sorry, Sunny can’t come to the phone right now. She’s a little… tied up,” a man’s voice said. Sam’s blood ran cold, adrenaline began to course through his veins.

“Where is she?” Sam hissed. Dean looked up at his brother’s words and upon seeing the anger in his eyes knew something was wrong.

“Oh, you’ll find out when I want you to. I just wanted to introduce myself, the name’s Roan,” the man, Roan, calmly said.

“Well, Roan if you touch a hair on her head I will kill you nice and slow,” Sam’s jaw clenched as he heard the man laugh on the other end.

“Not only will I touch her, but I plan on breaking her. Well, gotta go. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill her. You’ll get the coordinates once I’ve had my fun.” Before Sam could respond, Roan hung up the phone. Sam put the phone on the table gently, knowing that right now it was his only connection to Sunny. Stepping back, he ran his hands through his hair. He walked over to an empty table, flipping it as he roared. He began ripping books from the shelves, throwing them to the ground. Dean leapt from his seat, wrapping Sam up into a bear hug before he could hurt himself. Tears streamed down Sam’s face as Dean helped him into a chair.

“We need to save her,” Sam croaked. He couldn’t help but imagine the torment her kidnapper was planning. He was going to do everything in his power to stop it.

Chapter 8 ->

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cozytruecrimeaddict · 4 years

Text

I Think I Need Help (Hotch x OC) pt 3

Hey I’m back. (Also I wish the pages app would show me the word count on these because dang, this was like 5 pages of writing)

So this does not 100% follow season 2 episode 11 anymore.

However, my warnings still stand

WARNINGS: regular CM violence, rape, suicide, self harm, and light cheating

Nothing besides the light cheating goes into a lot of detail, just mentions and I want anyone who reads this to be prepared

I quickly rush to gather anything that is visible and bloody and stash it. I remember when I first got close with Aaron, I gave him a key to my place. In case anything happened, so someone had access to my stuff and whatever else might be needed. I’m surprised he didn’t use it this morning.

After that I showered as fast as I could, coming back into my room and changing. I threw everything I needed into my bag and ran into the kitchen, only to find Aaron sitting at my kitchen table.

“Did you speed here or something?” I smiled at him. Just pretend Sam. He won’t figure it out. He won’t try to profile you.

“I was worried. I don’t like being worried about you.”

“Well, you’re not my Dad, Aaron. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Morgans brought up that he’s worried too.”

“I’m fine.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that. You haven’t been acting like yourself.”

“I’m fine Aaron. I don’t know what I can do to prove it to you. I’m just stressed and tired. Lets get back to the office okay.”

Aaron stood up, brushing past me on the way to the door. I really hate lying to him. But, there’s no way in hell I’m telling him the truth. Just one more, before you go. I shake off the thought. I’m not addicted to this again. This isn’t my life. This won’t be my life. I’ll die before that happens.

“So, what did I miss this morning?” I ask, kinda annoyed I slept in on such an important case.

“No new suspects, yet. Another body was found, this one with word ‘failure’ carved into her abdomen. Gideon had just started his psych eval with Nathan before I left.”

Failure, did he emphasize that word on purpose? Is that all he thinks of you. Just the little kid charity case he has to babysit. He hates you. He doesn’t want you around.

“So, how likely is it that the kid did it?” I shake off my thoughts. Stop it Sam. Aaron is one of your best friends. He loves you and cares about you. No he doesn’t. Stop pretending.

“It’s hard to say, I don’t want to believe he did it, but it is still possible.”

I sighed, trying to calm my thoughts. How strange though, to be comforted by the thought of my blood running down my arm.

“Aaron…”

“Sam.”

“Please don’t worry about me. I promise, I’m fine. And if I wasn’t, I’d do whatever it takes to make sure I stayed alive for you and everyone else.”

“The do whatever it takes part is what worries me.” Aaron started, changing lanes and pulling into our parking lot. “Ever since you started with us, you’ve become one of my best friends. I really care about you and I know, I’m over protective.”

I can’t. I can’t have him caring. Theres only one way out of these thoughts. If 10 years wasn’t enough to end them completely, what would be?

“Let’s just get inside..” I got out of the car, and he followed.

The elevator ride took forever. I felt Aaron watching me, studying me. As we reached the floor the offices were on, I stepped forward.

“Don’t try to profile me, Aaron. You won’t like what you find.”

He came up along side of me and whispered something in my ear that made my heart sink.

“I know your neighbors aren’t in a band. I’ll figure out what’s going on eventually”

And he just walked away.

I sat down by Reid as Gideon had brought the kids mom into his office. From the looks of it, it wasn’t going too well.

The day passed by me in a blur of files, and trying to figure out how this all could have happened. How am I still here, why am I here. I’m not helping this investigation whatsoever and I’m really no use to the BAU at all. Especially if they all have to worry about me.

Thats when I noticed it, a damp spot on the left arm of my black top. I must have subconsciously started picking at the cuts. I get up and head to the bathroom, cleaning and drying them as quickly as possible. I got back to my desk, and Nathans mom was looking for him. He wasn’t back at home in his room and she had found some pretty disturbing edits to an edition of Hustler.

We all split up and made our way through the street searching for him. Until, another body was found.

This was…. wrong. Our unsubs profile was literally that he kills early in the morning. Not killing late at night, and to also have him dump this girl at the base of the Federal Building? It doesn’t make sense. Even if he was devolving, this takes risk. This takes prior knowledge of what’s happening around here.

Hotch says as much, but it still doesn’t mean Nathan didn’t just do this as he was passing the poor girl and kept running.

Reid follows a local cop who found the kid, and he brings him in.

Back at the offices, Aaron asks to speak to me in his.

“I think you should sit the rest of this one out, Sam.”

“Why, Aaron?”

“You’re not all here, and I don’t know what’s going on with you, but no one is going to think any less of you for taking a couple days to figure it out.”

“I don’t know what else I can do to prove to you that I am okay. Am I the same as I was? No. But who would be? I know what actually went through some of these girls minds.” My chest tightened, and for a second, just a second, I was back in his basement, my hands tied behind me as he pushed himself into me.

“Sam…” I heard Aarons voice, he sounded distant. 3 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes. I gave up. I was ready to die. They didn’t need me.

“Sam, I’m right here. You’re okay.” No, I’m not. I felt something gripping my wrist. No. I smelled the alcohol on his breath. I tried, I tried to break free.

“No…” I whispered.

“Sammi!” Aaron raised his voice just a little, and the scene around me went back to his office.

“I… Wha… Aaron?” I felt something wet fall from my eyes, I pressed my finger gently underneath, wiping away tears. Aaron guided me to sit down in front of his desk, he kept his hand on my left forearm. That must be why I felt pressure, he probably grabbed me to help steady me. He leaned on his desk.

“Want to explain what just happened?”

“If I knew, I promise you, I would.”

“Talk me through it.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Hang on a second, Sam.”

Gideon appeared, nodding at me.

“We found our guy, and we’re heading out to grab him now.”

“Alright, I’ll be down in a second.”

Gideon left, and Aaron came back to me.

“You’re sitting this arrest out, Sam. I want you to stay here and help Garcia. That’s an order.”

“I’m…”

“Don’t say you’re fine. We’ll talk about this later.”

I went off to help Penelope with whatever she needed,

She had everything under control and mostly we just talked.

“Okay, but Sammi my love, you need to give me the details!” She smiled at me.

“What details Pen?” Seriously, what did she want.

“About Hotch? He’s so private with everyone except you. Like who is he? Is he a good kisser? A girl needs to know these things.”

I laughed. She wants to know everything I can tell her about Hotch?

“Oh no, I am not crossing that line.”

“Oooooh which lines and how many have you guys crossed.”

“He’s just my best friend.”

“hey!”

“Okay, my best guy friend. I need my girls nights with you and JJ”

“So no after work make out sessions?”

“He has Haley.”

“If all men were loyal, crimes of passion wouldn’t exist sweetheart.”

“He’s loyal to her.” As far as I knew.

But, before I could have too much fun, something dark started creeping into my mind again.

She is just babysitting you. You were too much of a burden to be in the field, and you’re a burden on her. Why are you still even here? Why do you even bother waking up. Change that detail, and their lives would be better. You weren’t even good enough for the creep in his moms basement, or he wouldn’t have let you go back to them.

Garcia noticed me zoning out, but by then, the team was back and Reid was talking to Nathan again.

“Okay, that’s it. We’re going out tonight.”

“Oh no, I’m not in the mood.”

“I will drag you. You are coming.”

She pulled me to my feet and dragged me out of her office.

“Reid, come on. We’re going out.”

“I really wouldn’t be much company tonight.”

“You’re coming.” She insisted.

“Listen to her Reid, she’s dragging me along.”

He smiled at me, but gave in and got up.

As we got to Pennys car, Reids cell phone rang. Everything just happened so fast. I was starting to psych myself up for heading out with them, but it wasn’t okay.

“Drive, and hurry.” Reid said as we all climbed into Penelope’s car.

“What happened?”

“It’s Nathan…” Reid said.

Oh no….

We got to the motel room, and everything was just wrong. Nathan was across the bed, both wrists slashed.

I wasn’t in the motel anymore. I was 13 again. I was laying across my bedroom floor, begging for a reason. Any reason at all, to just stay. I couldn’t think of one. My own parents abandoned me because I was such a freak. I was too smart for my own good, yet not smart enough. I was graduating high school, and getting ready to start college at my age? The world was just beginning to open up, yet everything felt so small. Everyday everyone told me I was better off dead. Teachers ignored me. No foster parents cared enough to keep me around for more than a year. But that was all about to change. I wouldn’t be around long enough to care anymore.

I felt myself put pressure on Nathans left arm, at the same time Reid got to his right.

“Spencer…” I whispered, there was too much blood. Theres a chance that this kid was going to get what he wants. His answer to the pain.

Everything faded into the background, as a paramedic guided me and Reid off the kid.

I looked down, and my top was covered in blood, whether its my own or not, I don’t know.

Outside, the team was waiting by the ambulance for us.

Gideon guided Reid back towards his car, and Morgan took Penelope. But of course, I was alone. I started making the walk back to get to my apartment. I wasn’t even too far back to the main road when Hotch pulled up.

He got out of his car and hugged me to him.

“What happened? When Garcia said attempted suicide I thought…”

“I told you Aaron, I’d do whatever it takes to survive.”

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“I’m fine with walking, if you had an extra shirt or something though, that’d be much appreciated.”

“Sam, get in the car. I’m not playing this game tonight.”

So, I gave in. I became the charity case yet again. The little girl who always needs her friends to protect her, even when she doesn’t deserve it.

Hotch took the 20 minute drive back to my house. Instead of just dropping me off, and letting me head in to be with my thoughts, he followed me inside.

“I’m fine.”

“We discussed this earlier, I never have and never will believe those words.”

“You should be with your wife and son.”

“I’m staying here tonight. I’m not leaving you alone right now, until I know you’re okay.”

I sighed, putting my gun and badge in a drawer in my hallway and locking it.

“I’m not your charity case, Aaron. I don’t need your help.”

“Charity…. Sammi, is that really how you see yourself?”

“Ever since I was taken..” 3 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes. “You and everyone else have been acting like one wrong turn and I’m going to break.”

“I’m going to break one of our rules tonight Sam, and I hope you can forgive me.”

“Aaron, we only have one rule for our friendship to work, and that’s that we can’t profile each other…”

He guided me to sit down on the couch and look at him. I hated that he was about to do this, and I hate that I need him in my life. I hate that I can’t let go to make his life easier.

“Ever since you’ve been back, you jump at every sound. You empathize better with our female victims, especially those who have been assaulted, which leaves me to believe that while we were trying to find you, you were assaulted, or at least threatened with it. The way you’re trying to get away from me right now makes me almost positive of that fact. The way you got lost in the blood from this past case leaves me to believe you have some kind of issue involving blood from the past, possible childhood or early adolescence. Once again, your body language right now gives me reason to think I’m correct. The way you’ve been….”

“S…st.. stop. Aaron. Please.” I moved closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. I took a breath, trying to steady myself. “If I tell you what happened when I was taken, you will never stop seeing me as this victim. I will never stop feeling like a burden on the team. I will never be able to get back what I lost. You want the truth, Agent Hotchner, the truth is that I’m barely hanging on. However, I’m fighting like hell to keep my head above water. All I have to do that with is my job, and making sure I stop the next creep before they do what they did to me, to someone else. If I tell you what happened, or anything that I have going through my head, you won’t even like me anymore. You’ll transfer me off to some other department and I won’t have only lost my job, or my friends, but I’d have lost my family. I’d have lost the only person that I love.”

I didn’t realize it, but I had gotten so close to him. Our faces mere inches apart. I don’t know what’s happening. Why am I doing this. He’s married. He’s my best friend. But here I am, once again, messing things up. That was when I felt it. I saw his dark eyes staring into my blue ones. My heart literally skipped a beat, and in that second, Aaron had placed his hands under my chin and pulled me up to him. He kissed me softly, slowly. I moved just a little bit, wrapping my arms around his neck. Why was I doing this. Haley. Jack. I needed to stop. But, this felt right. As I pulled him to me, he leaned forward just a little bit more, causing us to fall backwards on my couch. I gasped, and I just stopped. I moved my hand to his chest, pushing back a little.

“We can’t..”

“I’m… I’m sorry. I…” He stuttered.

“I.. I can’t Aaron.”

“You said I didn’t like you.. you don’t even know how much…”

“Stop.” I felt my eyes burning. I liked Haley, she was kind enough to ask me to be Jacks godmother.

I moved Aaron off of me and got up.

“I need to shower, you… you can st..stay but I’m going to sh..shower and head to bed.”

As I stormed off down the hall, I looked back to see Aaron sitting there with his head in his hands. I know he must be upset, he just kissed me when he’s married to Haley. I won’t be the reason his marriage ends. I just won’t.

#aaron hotch #hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #Aaron hotch x oc #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine

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onthevirgeofdestruction · 3 years

Text

35 Q’s for Fanfic Writers

From this post

I’m having a shitty, rude alter-y, crap night so I’m just going to answer all of these to distract myself and focus and to not bother anybody just making my own post and putting it under the cut btw, notice to anyone not aware: since I’m moving I won’t likely be updating anything until I’m done doing so.

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!) 3/5? Could use more editing and description and can be weirdly paced.

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Because it’s better than focusing on pain 24/7.

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I don’t seem to have a specific narrative voice that people recognize but I’m pretty proud of mostly organic dialogue.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? as a rule i never look up to anybody for inspiration but there’s some stuff in my ao3 bookmarks I fawn over.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? Right now, none of them. It changes normally, anyway. If get too proud then I’d get my ass kicked by RSD if someone didn’t like it so it’s safer this way

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Dialogue.

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Organic description, poetic language kind of stuff. I can paint a scene but I’m not so great with bring out out a feeling with description alone.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Janus and Virgil are probably tied. They both have things I struggle with but I don’t have to go back and do much adjusting of language and tone with them. Though admittedly my Virgil is signifigantly more foul-mouthed than canon and I tend to prefer pre-AA feral asshole Virgil.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Patton. I write him the least, so people can probably tell. I love Patton, I really do, but it’s so hard to keep away from fanon Patton.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? Angst w/ H/C obviously. Or if you’re talking about regular book genres, Fantasy. I fucking love fantasy world building.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? Trauma. I blame Daeram. As if Ayri isn’t a giant Angst Demon.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Slopes. I’m really into it. I’ve got three one shots running right now. Patrons can read the first part of the unnamed cat remus one, there’s also a coffeeshop au tropey nonsense one like eglantine & lycoris, but Slopes is addiction angst. Mmmmm. Virgil is addicted to coke and alcohol and will listening to his friends even be in time? Who knows, especially not me, but there’s already over 30k.

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? InuYasha. Or was it Harry Potter? Or shit, The Blue Sword? Fuck, I’ve been writing for a long time, I really have no idea.

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? Sanders Sides. The characters are the perfect dynamic for writing since they exist in balance of each other and the popular, easy to project on archetypes featured are incredibly fun to do basically any scenario with.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird storywise? Kingdom Hearts? I can’t even follow the plot anymore. Weird Fandomwise? Sanders Sides. Its simultainiously the fluffiest and angstiest nonsense at the same time.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Vampires. Gay ones. Gay Vampires. I also love calm tol and angy smol.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Any tropes that normalize incredibly toxic behaviour or tropes that are inherantly ableist, but I can’t think of any.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Incorrigible continues to be complete nonsense.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? AUs. I mean closest I even have is canon-divergence other than a single short.

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? I like it when there is gay nonsense along with a plot that is treated as more important than the relationship the most. But I like both. There’s more shippy stuff in tss so i read more shipping action by default.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) Anxceit/Sleepxiety, but in general, give me darksides or give me death/j

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? Almost everything I write has a special playlist I listen to to help me write it, but otherwise I listen to my Nyan playlist, an alter is picking the tunes, or a voidfam playlist. I never have music off. When my internet is down I just listen to the songs I own or Anxiety’s theme on loop.

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I’m fine with all of them. I love working with prompts but I tend to deviate. And I’ve never done a challenge since I can’t do deadlines and bad things happen bingo never sent me a card and I applied three times.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? I am generally multi-chaptered stuff, but I’ve been working on a few one-shots lately that are much longer than most one shots.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! I was originally thinking of doing some little 13-year-old Dreaming!Roman (y’know, the one with a job) shorts but it turns out I just had an alter of that little bastard and that’s why I inexplicably know more about him then I ever even considered. I still might do them after Dreaming is done. But that’s paced so slowly who knows when that might happen. Otherwise I put stuff in my notes and just do shorts of it if I’m like “oh you know what’s cool???” but since I can’t daydream maybe this question doesn’t apply to me.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? I want to do more autism stuff, and I’ve had it demanded a few times, but I’m scared of being that explict about it for some reason. Possibly because I might be, possibly because I’m scared of doing it wrong even though I’ve accidentally coded multiple characters autistic. I’m scared of explictly tagging them as such, too.

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? That I can remember off the top of my head? I’m going with one from @a-genz-with-trauma-and-kins. It really helped me out and was just so kind and literally the best christmas gift I got in 2020.

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? I can handle it alright but Daeram is a little fucking pissbaby about it. Constructive criticism helps people get better, so I appreciate it. I can’t handle critism that is incomplete, though. “i just don’t get it” or “I don’t know I don’t like it” kind of things. If I can’t understand the why to fix it then things get out of control. And then I spiral and RSD for like four days minimum. If it came from an anon or a troll, too, It might not bother me for as long. Things that are just like “this is shit and you should feel bad” just make me laugh. Couldn’t even bother to read it long enough to insult me proper? I don’t care.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I have a few times. Mostly in shorts and prompts, I think. I think they turned out okay. They’re not particularly inspired or anything.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? Depends on my mood. Am I triggered? give me the fluff. Am I vibin? Angst.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Fuck, fam, no, I can’t, I have so many. I have multiple original stories and some of them have very large casts and like holy fuck. Or do you mean in Sanders Sides fandom? Um, Morgan and Thorn in PD. The lesbian and her himbo dynamic. I love them. They’re dorks. Morgan is strong person with sharp tongue and soft romantic heart and Thorn is just so kind and so dumb and so exciteable he’s like a puppy. They were just filler characters and I got attached to them. Felton even gets redemption for being an ass later in PD, like oof i never intended to include so much OC content, especially for names I just picked randomly.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. nope I’m doing all of them because these are fun plea for my new self: 2 gay vampires, 4 humans, 1 braincell dreaming while I wake: trauma child needs therapy and so do you break: big oof, oh dragons, oh why, go virgil go rebuild: virgil is so not okay there’s more virgil to deal painful death: gay teens drink themselves into a new religion stargazing: whoops we didn’t realize people actually cared whole castle: everyone will throw down for kid!patton, even you incorrigible: found family with a shot of psychological horror and crack dangerous instincts: wholesome crime syndacite action slopes: addict gets mugged and thinks that’s just fine with him conflagration: logan avoids everything ever like a champ cat!remus: bored fae shifts gay pining from one person to another caffeine cyptids: caffinated gay panic goes faster than regular gay panic eglantine & lycoris: more tropes than you can toss a shoe at storytime: overpowered virgil also overreacts literally always

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? an alter and I write together and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, what I’m writing about, or even what year it is. I often don’t even remember what I wrote. There’s no outline. I have an idea and I pick things at random for it. There’s just notes and an evil gleam in a demon’s eye. The only reason I know more than readers is because I take a long time to edit and some of these stories have fucking alters up in my head who can tell me things. Daeram tells me nothing. The writing demon supposedly has all this knowledge but I have absolutely no clue because he does not talk to me, he just fronts and slams out 9k in a few hours or we cofront to write and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” while typing

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. i’m fond of the entire painful death series and I tried to find something I really liked without spoilers in stargazing and I couldn’t so here’s a random thing from incorrigble: “So, what do you do with your friends?” Patton continued on with a megawatt smile. “Grand larceny,” Virgil deadpanned and glared at Patton, who was taken aback. Remy and Andy just broke out laughing while Virgil tentatively sipped his still-too-hot-cocoa.

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want! slopes my dudes slopes i have learned so much about cocaine! like wow! I thought for a minute it was going to end with MCD around 30k but it swtiched from whump to hurt/comfort and I still don’t know if it’s going to be MCD but look at that funky little coke/alcohol addict go, it’s a medical wonder he’s alive! It’s not like there’s what seems to be a little talked about interaction between alcohol and cocaine that causes a toxic chemical to build up in the liver which can result in liver failure and sudden death at basically any moment! Which is part of why it may result in MCD but this time no ghosts! maybe it’ll be h/c with whump elements or maybe it’ll be whump with h/c elements we can’t know for sure

#ayri writes #tw drug mention

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saiilorstars · 3 years

Text

Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 30: There For Her

Previous chapters // Montserrat's masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OFC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @perfectlystiles @averyhotchner [If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message!]

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Chapter Summary: Things couldn't seem to be going worse for Montserrat. At least she has Rafael with her, though he's struggling at the moment too considering he can't shake off the other woman who won't stop calling him.

Montserrat's presence in the bullpen was immediately question when she walked in that morning. "I mean, you could try saying 'good morning'," her sarcasm seemed to be completely intact. She let her things drop on her desk before giving each of her co-workers a look for their bombardment of questions. "That hasn't gone out of style."

"We just figured you wouldn't show up for a few days," Fin said what everyone else was thinking.

"I want to keep my job and besides...these days where I have been gone...have been way too hard," she took a seat and scooted closer to her desk. "I think a little distraction might be good."

"But is your brother okay, then?" Amanda inquired.

"Calhoun is trying to sort things out with the evidence that Damian supplied her with. Maybe by the end of the day...my brother might be out," Montserrat's small smile was still so full of hope the others wished she was right. "But tell me how's Nick?"

"He's been arraigned," Olivia answered and soon the grimness started spreading to the rest of the squad. "1PP won't budge and none of us have $500,000 lying around."

"The judge seriously posted that as his bail?" Montserrat gaped. "That's outrageous! Not to mention, ridiculous?"

"Yeah, well, they're pinning it on the fact this isn't Nick's first offence," Sonny shook his head. "And Murphy isn't trying to do much for him."

"Hm, so now you're not really liking him either," Montserrat found a moment to smirk.

"He's not letting us help by investigating!" Sonny exclaimed in frustration. "We're just supposed to sit here and continue our work as if our friend isn't in trouble."

"Speaking of work…" Montserrat turned her chair to the others, "Not that I'm moving on from Nick, but...I heard we caught a new case? International vic?"

"Yeah, not really going anywhere though," Amanda bitterly remarked as she opened up her laptop. "Our vic was scammed by a girl and her pimp. Hans Erhard was a tourist from Germany and he answered a Craigslist for a New York girlfriend experience."

"We have both the girl and her pimp in custody but none of them are talking," Olivia shook her head.

"Can I take a crack at it?" Montserrat's question was so volunteering that it really sounded as if she was just her regular self. "I mean, maybe a fresh new detective?"

"Well how about you catch up on it first?" Murphy had walked into the bullpen with a coffee in hand. "Welcome back, detective. How's your brother?"

"As well as he could be in jail," Montserrat sighed and pushed herself up from her desk. "But this case...what do you have for me to review?"

Murphy directed her to their pinboard in the conference area. The good thing about Montserrat was that she really did catch on fast. In thirty minutes she knew exactly what they were dealing: two scammers looking for a quick buck in innocent tourists. Ellie Porter, the girl they'd brought in, was still waiting for a legal aid while her pimp - Little Tino - was already talking with his lawyer to get him out.

While the squad discussed their next plans, a tall dark-haired man in a nice suit walked in. By the briefcase he carried, it was presumed that he was a lawyer, later confirmed when he spoke up. "I'm looking for Ellie Porter. Sorry I'm late. I just caught the case."

"I thought you said you were waiting for her public defender?" Montserrat turned to the rest for some answers.

"We were," Fin answered while keeping his eyes keenly on the new man.

Olivia walked over to him, looking pretty comfortable in his presence but not very happy to see him. "Uh, guys,meet Trevor Langan. He's a, uh, high-priced mouthpiece for lowlifes."

Langan didn't seem the least bit offended by the introduction. In fact, he had something to add on. "And you, once. How soon we forget."

His words instigated some confusion amongst Montserrat, Sonny and Amanda but Fin motioned them not to even ask.

"It's nice to see you, detective," Langan offered a genuine smile at Olivia, leading the newer detectives to conclude he wasn't their typical Buchanan or even Calhoun type of lawyer.

"It's actually sergeant now," Olivia corrected. "So what, you caught a pro bono?"

"Yeah. Do a few of them a year. It keeps me an honest lawyer."

"An oxymoron," Murphy walked out of the office to find the new lawyer.

"Uh, this is our new C.O., Lieutenant Murphy," Olivia introduced.

"Wow. A lot of changes around here," Langan eyed the trio of detectives before giving Murphy a side-glance. Ultimately, he returned his gaze to Olivia with a different type of expression. One could say it was more caring than any other lawyer the squad had seen in the precinct. "And, uh...you, are you doing okay with, uh…everything?"

Olivia gave a nod of her head and made to turn. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."

Murphy led Langan away so he could speak with Ellie.

"He's tall," Amanda remarked.

"Yeah, like that's a skill set," Olivia returned to her seat at the conference table.

"And good looking," Montserrat had to add which immediately earned her a disapproving look from Olivia. "Sorry, you two have history or what?"

Olivia humorlessly laughed. "I don't date lawyers."

"Since when?" Amanda then asked which silenced Olivia and left quite a few unanswered questions for Montserrat.

A few hours later, they had Ellie and Tino in lineups for Hans to ID.

"You okay?" Olivia asked Rafael when the ADA strode into bullpen. He'd come to oversee the lineups but he didn't appear to be his regular self.

"What? I'm fine," he said dismissively but the more he tried to be casual the less successful he was.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Montserrat noticed his grim face that also seemed pale for some reason. "I'm the one whose brother's in jail, why are you so upset?"

Rafael wouldn't answer. He looked to the side and all but puffed. It was a strange sight to see him so...shaken, because that's exactly what he looked like right now. His fingers twitched even though they were inside his pockets. His eyes couldn't seem to find a spot to look at for more than a few seconds.

"Get the lineup started," he told (or rather ordered) Olivia after a few pensive seconds.

Olivia blinked and cast a look at the rest of the squad. "Uh, okay…" she rose from her seat and headed for the corridor.

"You sure you good, councilor?" Sonny asked after a few seconds of watching Rafael continue to shift in his spot.

"Yes, now stop pestering me about irrelevant things." Now granted, his snap did sound like himself but his overall appearance was more than enough to think the contrary.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today," Amanda muttered to the others as she got up.

"For that to happen, he'd actually have to sleep…" Montserrat of course expected a snap for her remark, but it never came. She frowned but before she could point out his lack of participation in their usual go, Olivia returned and announced that the lineup ready to go.

"You sure you're good?" Montserrat still managed to ask before Rafael had to follow after Olivia.

"Yes," he answered in a rushed manner, almost as if the faster he answered the quick they would all just move on from it. Well, Montserrat wasn't going to risk getting yelled at for asking again.

Hand Erhard had arrived a few minutes later, with crutches and a bruised face, and headed directly for the lineup. He recognized Ellie straightaway, but when it came to Tino...it was a miss.

"You need to start seeing Ellie as a victim," Langan trailed after Olivia when the lineup had finished, but the sergeant looked close to throwing him out. "She was pimped out at 16-"

"-she tried to pull a gun on Murphy," Olivia reminded him.

"Yeah, coerced by her pimp!"

Before the argument went further, Montserrat distanced herself due to her ringing phone. "It's Calhoun," she told the others before taking the call. Hope immediately filled her face as she answered Calhoun. Her brother could finally leave that hellhole and return to his normal life. "Tell me when I can pick him up."

But just as hope had filled her in seconds, it vanished in the same speed. If Rafael had been pale before, Montserrat beat him no questions asked. She was as white as a sheet. "What-what do you mean…?" her voice had turned frail, even her body looked as if she was swaying.

The others began to assume what Rita was telling the detective on the other line. But just like that, Montserrat bolted into a run, almost shoving Fin to the side in her run.

"Hey!?" the poor detective was left to call as he stumbled to stay on his feet.

"Something's wrong," Sonny assumed and hurried after Montserrat, prompting the others to do the same.

Montserrat had come back to the conference table where their television was on and scrambled to pick up the remote with one hand while still holding onto her phone in her other hand. She'd turned the television on and flipped to the news channel where an ongoing report was airing.

'The Florence Commercial building that collapsed two days ago has now claimed its first deaths,' the reporter was in the middle of saying, 'Two victims have been reported as deceased after being hospitalized for severe injuries…'

Montserrat fervently shook her head as if that would make it all go away. "What does that mean!?" she demanded from Rita on the phone. While the others couldn't hear Rita's words, they could pretty much assume the situation. By the time Montserrat hung up, she was ready to fall back. And seeing that prompted Sonny to pull up a chair right behind her. She fell back on it with ease, making the others wonder what would've happened if there hadn't been a chair there in the first place.

"They're going to treat this as hom...homicide…" she barely got the wretched word out. It was too disgusting.

"But you said Damian had the evidence…" Sonny said, but Montserrat shrugged in the same confusion he had.

"Everything changes when someone dies," Rafael said quietly. He looked at the others and willed them to remember their own cases and what typically happens when they had a homicide-rape on their hands.

"What the hell am I supposed to do? He's being arraigned this afternoon and then there's going to be a trial date? As if he's an actual criminal?" Montserrat frantically started to ramble. "I've got nothing to help him with. That evidence should've been enough, I…" she shook her head and let a hand cover her quiet sobs. "It should've been enough, it should've..."

The others exchanged looks with each other, all deciding they needed to help her stat. She was right in that the evidence should've been enough to get Gael out, but as Rafael pointed out...things got more complicated once there was murder. Still, it didn't mean it was impossible to prove Gael's innocence.

"Montserrat," Rafael was the one to cut the silence as he moved to Montserrat's chair. He bent down in front of her when she refused to look at anyone. "We can't help you if you don't let us," he said harsher than he would've liked, but then again that's really the only way she'd listen right now.

Montserrat only slightly lowered her hand but it was enough to showcase her reddened eyes. It was honestly a whole other side of her that neither Rafael nor the others had ever seen. "I can't do anything, weren't you listening?"

"Yes, and I think that you did the fatal mistake of listening to yourself," Rafael's counter-argument had her frowning in confusion. "You are a detective. Finding evidence is your job. That's all this is right now: you going back and finding evidence."

"Yeah except I'm usually the one who proves they're guilty," Montserrat sighed a shaky sigh.

"It doesn't mean you'd do your job worse. So listen, everyone here-" Rafael made a gesture at the others keenly watching him, "-is willing to help you but it will not make a difference if you've given up already."

"It's not that I've given up it's that…" Montserrat scrunched her face the more she tried to come up with a perfect way of describing how she felt, but all that came out was an exclaim that sounded more like a child's cry. "Dammit, Rafael, my brother's in jail and I feel like my world is crashing down on me!" Her look of anger on him didn't bother him in the least.

"And being hopeless is going to help you how?" his answer seemed to be upsetting her more.

"Councilor-" Sonny tried to intervene but Rafael pointed a finger for him not to even try interrupting. Sonny retracted his step and looked at the others with an 'I tried' expression.

However, his attempt to intervene did make Rafael realize he wasn't getting this whole 'comfort' thing. It was frustrating, honestly, because he wanted to help Montserrat. He wanted to ease her pain as much as he could but every time he opened his mouth he just made it worse. He'd never been good at that stuff. He never knew what to do.

He looked at Montserrat again, this time forcing any snaps at mind to stay away. She was still giving him that angry expression he was all too familiar with. "What time is he being arraigned?"

"Two o'clock," she answered but the mere reminder of what was to come forced most of the anger to fade from her face. New tears were threatening to roll down her face.

There came a relentless urge to hold her. It took everything he had not to do it. "I'll come with you to arraignment. We'll see exactly what Gael is being charged with and then we can work from there, okay?"

Montserrat nodded her head. "Okay. Will you actually come?"

Rafael smiled and gave her a tilted-head look. "When do I ever joke?" Now it was Montserrat's turn to smile, even if it was just for a second he would take it.

The others felt like they were witnessing something private that they needed to walk away from, but Montserrat unknowingly beat them to it. She pushed herself up from her chair and straightened herself up. She rubbed her face clear of any tears and took in a deep breath. "Okay fine. The Manhattan D.A wants a fight, I'll give them one. Hell, they've never had 2 Novaks and Calhoun all going against them, have they?"

"No," answered Rafael as he, too, straightened on his feet. "And I'd honestly wish them luck, but that wouldn't necessarily be true would it?"

"Listen, Montserrat, why don't you go and see Casey?" Fin suggested and looked back into the hallway where Olivia and Langan were still at. "We'll explain to Liv and Murphy. It's not like they'd say no."

"Honestly I'm a little fearful for the future of my job," Montserrat admitted, but even then it was evident that she would be leaving anyways. "I've been away too much…"

"Hey, we got this," Amanda assured her.

Montserrat agreed with a nod of her head and went to collect her things. It felt ridiculous that she'd just came back to work and was already taking off again but at the same time...her brother needed her. She couldn't be too far away.

"For the rest of you," Rafael looked at the remaining group with an expression akin to irritation, "You've got almost next to nothing on the Hans Erhard rape. One I.D. and it's not even the rapist."

"Are you feeling better now?" Amanda's sarcasm, that included a sarcastic smile, earned herself a glare from the ADA.

"Get something more or the case dies," he left it at that and it was only because he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket. Soon as he took it out and saw the text message on the screen, his face turned pale again and his fingers seemed to start twitching again. He was nervous. "I have to go," he said in a mutter and made a hasty way out.

Can we have lunch today? - Yelina.

As much as he hated to, Rafael responded with a 'yes' because if he continued to say no, and blow her off, she would just come back to her office. Maybe if he had let her talk the night she appeared in his office, he wouldn't be having lunch with her now.

"You look like you've seen a ghost again," Montserrat's voice pulled Rafael's face from his phone. She was waiting for the elevator to arrive. "Which is funny because I've never seen you go that shade of color. Let me in on the secret so I can use it for later." He rolled his eyes but somewhere inside her playfulness alleviated some of his stress.

The elevator dinged and its doors slid open. Montserrat stepped inside first and waited for Rafael to follow before pressing the down button.

"Montserrat, I need to...apologize," Rafael suddenly started. Montserrat's side-glance was one akin to 'the hell are you talking about?' while he went on. "I'm not very good with...comfort words." And even now it was easy to see the struggle for Rafael to even say that. It was amazing yet ridiculous that he wasn't good with words around her, but he could easily have the right words to prosecute low-lives. Montserrat would do that to him a lot, make him question the simplest of actions he would usually take in other situations where she wasn't involved. But for Montserrat right now it was the funniest thing she ever saw on him. "I don't do a lot of comfort. And I know half of what I told you earlier was done in snaps-"

Montserrat had suddenly turned and hugged him. It was a tight hug that she'd been wanting ever since hell started with her brother's arrest, but she hadn't been brave enough to go for it. Right now, she just couldn't be bothered with the process of thinking 'should I or should I not?'. She let her chin rest on his shoulder. "You're doing just fine."

A small smile came to Rafael's face. His arms wrapped around her waist and held her tight. A few seconds later, one of his hands traveled up to her fiery hair and let his fingers stroke through her waves. Her hair was incredibly soft he imagined what it would be like running his hands through the rest of it somewhere else, somewhere nicer and private. You have to stop right there, he berated himself.

If only he knew how much his gentle touch affected her. Montserrat felt a wave of calmness wash over her within seconds of his first stroke. She wanted to him to keep holding her and just hear from him that everything was going to be fine. But she felt the elevator come to a stop, warning the two that the doors would be opening soon.

Montserrat pulled away just enough to where Rafael could still hold onto her. "You'll come to arraignment?" she asked as if she was scared that he had already changed his mind.

Rafael reassured her with a nod. "Of course. I'll be there." He brought a hand to rest on her cheek, and even when the elevator doors, his founds soothed small circles over er skin. "I promise you I'll be there."

A relieved smile spread across Montserrat's face. "Thank you. Really. You really are doing just fine." She turned away and left the elevator first, but the moment she was out her skin where his fingers had been ached for his soft touch.

Okay, maybe she felt a little better…

~0~

Alright. In and out. In and Out. Rafael was as confident as he could be when he took a seat across the woman he'd been avoiding with great difficulty. "Alright, I'm here. Let's get to it."

Yelina was no stranger to dirty looks anymore, not after the scandal that practically tore her family apart. She'd been subjected to doubtful and condescending stares, angry snaps, and the old fashion cold shoulder. But none of that she expected from Rafael. It certainly didn't make her decision to reach out to him seem like the best option, but she had a good motive.

"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you," she finally spoke a few minutes, but she noticed Rafael constantly looking around the restaurant as if they were doing something wrong. "I didn't really know what to do…"

"Really? And of all people to talk to, you chose me?"

Yelina tilted her head at him, genuinely looking upset. "Why are you treating me like this?" The choice of her softened tone almost made Rafael do a double-take at her.

"Are you - are you kidding me!?" he snapped on instinct. Not even her flinch made any effect to stop him. Actually, it might have angered him more seeing her try to be so innocent. "Do you not remember what happened? Because you do remember the part where you warned me to back off when they were investigating Alex? I had Alex on the other side going on about me trying to bring him down out of jealousy. So excuse me if I'm a little upset that now you want to act like nothing happened."

"...fair enough," Yelina released a sigh. "I didn't know that was how I came across…"

"Really?" Rafael nearly laughed. "Don't insult my intelligence, Yelina. Now can we get to the reason why you're here? Why I'm here? I have somewhere else to be."

"Please don't be this curt with me," Yelina's softness had disappeared, replaced with a more serious yet sharp expression. It was more like her, honestly. That look Rafael knew well. Whenever she was pissed off, that's the look you got. "It was hard swallowing my pride to call you and I want to believe that despite what happened...we can still be civilized friends."

"I don't know about that, to be honest." In another time, maybe Rafael would actually think about that idea, but for some reason there was no desire to stay in contact. At all. "You tried to manipulate me the last time we saw each other-"

Offense etched across Yelina's face at the accusation. "-I wasn't-"

"-yes, you were." And the worst part was, it hadn't even been him who saw it. He missed it because he - admittedly - had clung to the last bit of friendship he had with her, the last bit of nostalgia he had. Montserrat saw it, Rafael remembered perfectly the way in which he had snapped at Montserrat after she had made the comment. She'd only been looking out for him, like she always did even when he didn't deserve it. But that was Montserrat. She was always there.

"Rafael?" Yelina had been watching him for the minutes he spent in silence. There was a familiar look on his face but she didn't want to think about it too much, at least not now.

Her call did indeed pull Rafael back to the present. Soon as he was back he set for business, whatever that business might be anyways. "Why are we here?"

Yelina bit her tongue so as to not snap at his flat tone. "My husband is facing trial and God knows how many years."

"And? You're not seriously going to ask me to put in a good word for him, are you?"

"...maybe I just wanted to reach out to the only person who's willing to talk to me right now."

Rafael paused and gave her a strange look. "What?"

"You can imagine with all these accusations-"

"-and evidence," Rafael cut in with the truth, even if it did irritate her.

"Not a lot of people want anything to do with us, with me," the woman lowered her gaze. "I had to pull my daughters from their school. They're... they're the target for bullying, for hatred...I don't know what to do."

Dammit. She was being honest. She looked honest. And that's what made it difficult for Rafael to remain stoic. She could be playing tricks but right now she just looked vulnerable. In another time, that would've reeled him right to her. And the fact it didn't have the same effect right now was startling...in a good way though. It almost made him proud.

He felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket. While he checked who it was, he was aware of Yelina's hawk-stare.

Arraignment is in half an hour. Will you come? - Montserrat.

"Something important?" There was unmistakable sharpness in Yelina's question, or rather demand, and it kind of irritated him. Where did she get off being that demanding when he was doing her a favor by showing up to this awkward lunch.

"Yes, actually," Rafael sent back a quick 'yes' to Montserrat and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. "I need to go."

"We're not done," Yelina shook her head. "You haven't said anything to me except take jabs at my pain. I thought there was at least a shred of kindness you could offer me. Did I dare think too much? Is there nothing you can offer me now?" She reached her hand across the table to touch Rafael's.

The ADA flinched but he didn't pull his hand away. He was, admittedly, taken by surprise.

~0~

Montserrat was biting into her index nail to the point of drawing blood. Twice Casey had yanked Montserrat's hand down and shot her a look not to do it again.

"What are you, 5?" the ADA whisper-hissed. They were waiting in the hallway, just outside the arraignment room.

"I'm 30, stressed, and my brother's going to trial, so I will act anyway I want to!" Montserrat snapped and promptly stuck her nail between her teeth.

Casey groaned and rolled her eyes. She turned away and saw familiar figures coming down the hall towards them. "There's uncle Thomas. Least he's not alone either."

Montserrat followed her direction to see her father and Damian. "Dad," she went to hug him first.

"Hi sweetheart," Thomas hugged her tightly. He couldn't believe they were here. "How are you holding up?"

"Hm, as much as I can be," Montserrat bit her lower lip like it was gum.

"The girls, Juliana and Ivanna-"

"They're at school right now and Kara's picking them up. I'm taking care of them, Dad, I promise."

"I never said you weren't, dear. I just imagine it's difficult with your schedule…"

"I'm taking some time off."

"Again?"

Montserrat felt the underlying insinuation that she'd been missing too much work, but at the same time what was she supposed to do? Work like nothing while her brother faces criminal charges?

"It's fine, uncle Thomas," Casey said as she gave the man a quick hug. "The thing about being a cop and an ADA is that you don't have to explain a lot when you're out. People just think you're doing work."

"Or people think you're recusing yourself," a tall blonde woman appeared behind Thomas and Damian. The two men looked back then retracted the same steps so that the blonde could get through.

Soon as she saw her, Casey glared. "Geraghty," she practically spat the blonde's name out.

"I assume this is the family," Geraghty looked at the rest with icy blue eyes. "Since Casey had to recuse herself from the case due to, um, well…" her thin eyebrows twitched upwards.

"Because we're family," Casey said it just to end the woman's drama.

"Well, I'll be prosecuting the case. ADA Geraghty," she introduced herself but quickly moved into business. "You should know that I am going for reckless endangerment and Manslaughter."

"He's innocent," Montserrat said through gritted teeth, but Geraghty only smiled dismissively.

"I'll see you all in a bit," she moved on from the group and left a terse air behind.

"She seems...lovely…" Damian said quietly but Casey scoffed loudly.

"She's a bitch. And she's been after my job for a while. This is the first time I ever had to recuse myself from a case so of course she nabbed the job the moment she could."

"Casey I'm sorry," Thomas apologized but Casey scoffed again.

"Are you kidding me? Nothing will make me happier than to see her being forced to drop the charges when we prove Gael is innocent."

A short moment later, the doors were open for arraignments. Gael wouldn't be the first one to be brought out, so it left quite some time of waiting. And waiting meant a lot more thinking was done, leading to horrible thoughts.

"Did Calhoun say anything about her strategies?" Montserrat quietly asked Casey during their wait time at the benches. "I haven't been able to get in contact with her today even though I'm pretty sure I bombarded her phone with voicemails."

"Not really, but since we're on her side, it'll be good," Casey said with certainty Montserrat wished she had too.

When Gael's turn was nearing, the group decided to go inside and find a seat. The only reason Montserrat stayed behind was due to Sonny and Liv coming towards her.

"What are you guys doing here?" Montserrat blinked at their presence. "Murphy's going to have a fit when he realizes half of his employees are gone."

"Don't worry, he knows we're just here for the arraignment," Olivia said to ease the woman's concerns.

"And for anything you might need from us," added Sonny.

"Thanks," Montserrat sighed. She looked into the arraignment room with nothing but dread. "I don't know what's going to happen...the ADA is, as Casey put it, a bitch. So good luck to my brother."

"It'll be fine, c'mon," Olivia motioned Montserrat to go in first but Montserrat seemed to want to stay behind a bit longer.

"Do you need a moment?" assumed the Sergeant.

"Yeah, kinda," Montserrat nodded. It was enough to send the two in without more questions. Yes she did need a little break to herself but, if she was being honest, she was also making time.

He's late, she thought after checking the time. But even when she wanted to further fall, she berated herself. He's got things to do. Be glad he even offered to stop by. Montserrat closed her eyes for a moment, at least to calm herself down before she would have to go inside.

"Montserrat?" Rafael called when she turned for the doors. He picked up his pace to get to her on time. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I-I was…" He didn't quite want to finish that sentence for some reason, but thankfully Montserrat was overly relieved with his presence so she didn't question him at all.

"No, no! You're absolutely fine!" she exclaimed.

"We can go in whenever you're ready," Rafael made a gesture for the doors but watched her carefully for her reactions. Who knew, she might go in the opposite direction.

Montserrat took a deep breath and looked at the doors. "I gotta do it. My brother's the one in trouble. I can do this. Course I can. I can…"

When she started rambling on about the same thing, Rafael knew she was in the process of backing out. He couldn't blame her. But he did know that if she actually backed out and missed her brother's arraignment, she would never forgive herself.

"You need to go inside, Montserrat," he said softly. He met her nervous gaze and offered her an encouraging smile, and his hand.

She took his hand in a fast second. Then, with every bit of courage she owned, she led them into the arraignment room. It was just in time because Gael was being led out by one of the officers.

When the hell did Calhoun get in here!? Montserrat wondered, almost mad at herself for missing the woman. That's how absorbed she was in her own problems.

Rafael found them an open seat in the second row when Montserrat paused because her thoughts had gotten to her again. He didn't let her get away, though, and gently ushered her first.

"How does your client plead?" the judge was in the middle of asking when they finally sat down.

"Not guilty, your honor," Calhoun answered before Gael could even open his mouth. He was under strict orders not to talk at all. "The charges are seriously misplaced and when this is all over, Mr. Novak will be filing a lawsuit against 1PP and the DA's office."

"The charges of reckless endangerment and Manslaughter are hardly misplaced," Geraghty shot Calhoun an incredulous glare. But given the line of Calhoun's work, it was nothing more than a petty frown in her opinion.

"Save it for trial," the judge ordered the two women. "How are we on bail, Miss Geraghty?"

Geraghty straightened behind her spot. "Remand, your honor. The defendant has the means to flee what with his outstanding high paying job and double nationality with Slovakia."

"You have double nationality?" Rafael found himself asking Montserrat out of sheer curiosity.

Montserrat shrugged, indicating a 'yes'. "Dad's doing," she whispered. "If you have a parent from Slovakia you're eligible for dual citizenship. You want to go Slovakia some time?"

"Hm, how about we go to Cuba first?" He met her look with a smile and when she realized what they had said, she blushed and looked away.

This is not the time to do this, Montserrat, she berated herself. She forced her attention back on the arraignment and hoped to God Calhoun would come through for them this one time.

Calhoun scoffed at Geraghty's argument. "Oh please. My client is a single father of 2 girls who need him at home, not to mention he has Manhattan's own Homicide ADA Casey Novak and SVU Detective Montserrat Novak vouching for his presence. Believe me, he is not going anywhere."

"They are family," Geraghty shot Casey and Montserrat a specific look, almost accusatory. Montserrat wasn't in any condition to fight back, but Casey glared daggers back at the ADA. "And since they knew how the system works, I think remand is more than appropriate here."

Calhoun almost laughed in the woman's face. She rebutted like she normally would, only this time Montserrat was counting on her to make a damn good rebuttal that would allow her brother to come home today.

Without realizing it, Montserrat gripped Rafael's hand. She was over the top nervous and somewhere along the way, her hand had found his. She wasn't aware of it, but Rafael was. He felt the moment his hand was squeezed - which, honestly, showed she had tremendous strength - and so he did what he felt he should; what he wanted to. When she leaned on him (an attempt to listen better to Geraghty), he was just her rock, her support. He soothingly rubbed his fingers over her hand.

Sonny caught the two's closeness and couldn't help but feel a little proud that some sense had finally been knocked into them. Of course the feeling faltered when he noticed Damian's lingering look on pair. Oh right, it still pained Sonny having to keep that secret all to himself. It felt like a ticking time bomb.

~ 0 ~

"Do you have the money?" Calhoun stood in front of the group after arraignment. It was a win that remand had been discarded, however the bail money was now the issue considering it was a pretty high amount.

"No, but we'll make it work," Thomas looked at his daughter, both knowing they wouldn't have that type of amount between them.

"$50,000 is a pretty insane amount," Montserrat scowled, already mentally going through her back account to see how much she could put up.

"No it isn't," Calhoun gave her a tilted-head look. "You're just on the receiving end this time."

"Hey," Casey warned her not to even go down that road.

Calhoun raised her hands in defence. "I'm going to go find out when the court date but I suggest you don't keep him in there long. If anyone on the inside finds out he's related to an ADA and SVU detective, he's not going to be having fun."

"Maybe go for protective custody, then?" Montserrat's tone went flat, as did her face.

"What else do you think is on my to-do list?" Calhoun rolled her eyes and moved around the trio to leave.

"Are you sure she's going to help us?" Thomas was left asking.

"Don't worry Dad," Montserrat turned to her father with the best warm smile she could put on. "Calhoun is tough. She'll help us."

The trio rejoined the others near the elevator after Calhoun had left them.

"Hey, Calhoun seemed pretty sure of herself," Olivia said. "That's good."

"She's a shark," Rafael chimed in, not really sure if he was giving the woman a compliment or an insult. He wasn't used to having her on their side.

"Which means she'll do the job just fine," went Sonny.

"Now we just gotta focus on the bail money," Montserrat sighed. She dug her hands into her ginger curls, tugging on them. She might lose some hair in these next few weeks.

"Listen," Damian started, "I don't have a lot but I can put up 10 grand for the bail money."

"That's still a lot of money, Damian," Montserrat said. "I don't want you to use it all up on us. I'm sure Gael would agree."

Damien shook his head. "You're taking the money or we're going to argue over it." He gave her a smile that left no room for such arguments.

"Thanks," she hugged him.

"I can put up another 10," Casey said, breaking them apart. "I've not wasted money in a real good time considering I never have time to go out."

"I can put 15k," Thomas added. "Retirement savings. But I can get more, I'm sure. I just have to look more through my finances."

"That's $35,000," Montserrat drew in a deep breath then exhaled. "Maybe I can put up another 10. That'd just leave another 5 grand."

"We can't leave Gael in there for long," Damian said. "Why don't we get together and see if we can come up with the solution today?"

"Sounds good," Thomas agreed then looked at Montserrat.

"Go on, I'll catch up with you guys in a bit," she motioned them to get a head start.

"Thank you for coming," Thomas said to Olivia, Sonny and Rafael before leaving with Casey and Damien.

"He's right, thanks for coming," Montserrat sighed. "I'll report for work tomorrow. I promise."

"That's not necessary. You take your time out until this is solved," Olivia told her. She put a comforting hand on Montserrat's arm, offering one of her momma-bear smile that - admittedly - did make Montserrat feel a bit better. "We've got things at the precinct."

"Thanks," Montserrat said quietly. "Although honestly I don't know how long it'll be."

"Just focus on bail for now," Sonny advised. "Take it one bit at a time."

"I know but I just...I know that Casey, Dad, and Damian are putting up everything they have. Even though I'm going to put up what I have, it's not going to be enough. We're still going to be $5,000 short."

"You heard Carisi, take it one bit at a time," Rafael said. He did what Olivia had earlier and rested a hand on her arm, though Montserrat felt a lot more comfort with his touch than Olivia.

No offence to Olivia…

"Thanks for coming," Montserrat said, though there was a distinct possibility it had been only meant for Rafael this time round.

"Of course," he offered her a small smile, knowing nothing would be alleviating her pain right now. He had to come up with something to help her.

#ocappreciation #svu #rafael barba #fd: svu #svu fics #rafael barba fics #svu imagines #rafael barba imagines #oc: Montserrat Novak #fic: dare to forget me

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mobagehelllocal · 4 years

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“do you even lift bro?” extra notes i - iii:

I finally finished rereading all my “do you even lift bro?” stories! Man, I feel like I wrote them ages ago. As I mentioned before, I have been going back to do grammatical edits and what not. In the process, I’ve also been noting down my thought process for writing these pieces, and little easter eggs I put in for fun~ This extra notes will contain my thoughts from versions i to iii!

*please do not read if you haven’t read “do you even lift bro?” ver i - iii.

The title came to me immediately upon reading the request hahah. originally, it was meant to just be fluffy and cute... but I think it’s actually pretty funny. To me, at least hahah.

Divus’s was the one exception, but i’ll get into that later.

The reader personality was based on one of my ocs. She was also the oc in my special Malleus x OC story, “bright eyes.”

I went with her because she was an OC, who, in my opinion, is the epitome of a optimistic fangirl lmao. If you’ve read “bright eyes” then I think you’d understand what I mean hahahah.

For ver i--I think I definitely wrote Riddle’s first. followed by Leona, Azul, Malleus, Kalim, Vil then Idia.

One of my best friends is a super huge Riddle stan (if you’re reading this, hi sis!) so I wrote his story primarily with her energy in mind. In short, she would most definitely bench press Riddle.

Her energy + the base reader personality makes Riddle’s story one of the most fun actually. His reader is probably the most mischievous ones--which I thought balanced out well with Riddle’s actual personality.

Leona’s story is heavily influenced by pride dynamics. It’s common knowledge that it’s the female lions who hunt hence why in Afterglow Savanna--the women are stronger. Leona is royalty, so I assumed that from a young age he’d be told to wed a strong woman.

I also need to note that Leona is described as respecting women. here’s the thing, I’m pretty sure it’s specifically women from Afterglow Savanna because they could bench press him. That’s not to say he doesn’t respect all women--he probably just puts women from Afterglow Savanna on a different standard because of his experience with them. Either way, you surprised him greatly, and assume that Leona will not be able to look you in the eye for awhile.

Azul’s story specifically takes place after Jamil SR Lab Coat episodes and Azul’s R PE Uniform episodes. I found their relationship funny, and thought it would be fun to continue off from there.

Most of Azul’s stories come from me just wanting to fluster the hell out of Azul... that being said, I did delve a bit into the magic of TWST for this one. I remember it was Crowley (was it in the prologue?) who noted that magic is dependent also on how much someone believed in their ability to do something. This is why Azul falls down haha, his will faltered and he stopped believing.

Jamil doesn’t get a break at all, doesn’t he? The reader and Jamil actually vibe really well because they both understood enough about Kalim to know what he was doing.

I think I remember being pretty stuck on which one to do for this. I think it was reading Jamil’s SSR Dorm Uniform story that really made me have an ‘aha’ moment on how to write it--since something like this happens on there.

Surprisingly for Vil, once I had figured out that I wanted to write him getting mobbed, and being saved by his reader--it flowed out really fast from there.

For Vil, I always end up bringing up the issue that he’s something like a celebrity and you are one in the million who adore him. I thought that this was just one way to sort of tackle your relationship together.

I really enjoyed highlighting how you love Vil different from the rest who adore him. The importance of how you see his flaws and still love him--especially because as an influencer Vil has a certain pressure to appear in a certain way.

Idia’s was the last one I wrote, but I had a lot of fun because I stuffed it full of references. I figured that Idia’s thought process would be more of him thinking life as a game, that’s why he uses terms like support level often in my writing.

On that note, I know ‘Gao-Gao Dragon-kun’ is a reference to Tamagotchi, but I decided to just merge up Tamagotchi and Pokemon in this case. Hence why ‘Gao-Gao Shield and Sword’ existed lmao. I didn’t put too much effort in that and just switched ‘Shield and Sword’’s order HAHAH. I did consider making it ‘Gao-Gao Gun and Wand’ though.

‘Water Crest: The Seven Dorms’ is a reference to Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I felt incredibly clever when I came up with that HAHAH. But also, when he references support levels, he’s talking about a gameplay in Fire Emblem. For people who aren’t familiar with this, essentially, FE has a system wherein the more you use two units together the likely their support will rise. The supports go from C-B-A-S, with S as the highest. When Idia says he works hard on S Support, he literally means he went out of his way to spend time with you and befriend you. Isn’t that cute? When he references SS Support, it actually doesn’t exist HAHA, but he didn’t realize there was “another level” sort of thing xD

When I write funny Malleus stories, the other members of Diasomnia are likely to be hiding in the bushes. Most funny stuff probably fly over Malleus’s head so... The other Diasomnia members pop in to react hahaha.

To Malleus, your tendency to treat him as a regular person, and not treating him as a lord--makes him incredibly fond of you. It’s because you treat him as an equal, that makes him treat you as an equal. I also think this was the piece where he started calling you “bright light.” There’s no deeper meaning to it, he really just sees you as a bright light--like a brilliant star. You, literally, light up the world. :,)

Ver ii order of writing--Ashton, Dire, Divus. I had come up with the premise of Divus first though.

I think Dire was the hardest one for me, because I kept worrying about things like--’what if he’s not actually like this,’ or ‘what if that isn’t how he would actually act’ etc etc. but I think it turned out pretty alright.

Dire, for all his claims of being a kind person--I think actually is a kind guy. He does have the tendency to be a little manipulative and whatnot... but at the end of the day he does care.

For Divus, I sniffed GBF Belial’s Perfume because I wanted to get inspired (and I sort of headcanon they smelled alike) but it went horny too fast.

Divus is naturally intrigued with you, and he’s also very aware you’re attracted to him. So it amuses him to fluster you. He’s very aware of how good-looking he is, and he doesn’t mind flirting with people.

How I chose to portray Divus is actually based on how @avionvadion writes Divus in her story “Once Upon A Dream.” please check it out! It’s a super cute fanfic about a girl in Twisted Wonderland~

Ashton... I was surprised at how fast I was able to write his piece actually hahha. I went with a no braincell, but cheerful and all-around good guy.

I don’t think there was a lot of Ashton to really research about, but... I just tried to make him good guy Gaston... for now xD

Ver iii--it went Floyd, Jamil, Jade, Rook, Lilia, and Epel.

There’s this scene in, I think, the first episode of Avatar: The Legend of Aang where Appa wouldn’t fly. So Sokka just straight up... insulted? Appa? i guess. Then Appa suddenly COULD fly, and Sokka was just straight up amazed and yelling... Yeah that was my primary inspiration for Floyd’s story.

Floyd... Floyd is twins with Jade, let’s not forget that. I’m sure Floyd is actually really intelligent, he just isn’t in the mood to be sometimes. Hence he’s able to really understand something when you say something seriously. I think Floyd would always take you seriously when you say something important.

For Jade’s story, my inspiration was the story of my dad tripping. It was only witnessed by him and mom. My mom talked about how terrifying it was to watch a six foot tall man fall down. My dad just found it funny. Hence, I thought, Jade should trip.

Other than that, the general idea I wanted was that it’s our time to pamper Jade. He’s one of the two characters who I know would love to pamper his reader. So this was his lover’s chance to pamper him. Also, he’s also one of two characters who would have an idea about your insane strength.

Jamil, much like Jade, is the type of guy who pampers the people he loves. He doesn’t take to being pampered too well. He’s not used to it.

Jamil also appreciates getting his hard work recognized, so I’m sure he has a praise kink hahah. He’s also easily embarrassed. I think Jamil needs someone who acknowledges all of his hard work, who also accepts his mistakes.

Epel was the last one to write, and actually a genuine struggle for me. I always... end up writing something in relation to his struggles with his face and femininity. Epel is someone who wants to be seen as a real man, so I worried about what he’d think of a reader who had the strength he wanted.

I figured if it was anyone else, it might inspire jealousy in Epel--but because it was his lover, he was able to push aside his negative feelings and look at the bright side. You’re truly his ideal, and he wants to learn how to be strong from you.

Rook was another tough one. There did exist a version where you surprise him... but the more I thought about it, the more I found it impossible for Rook to not know or not have an idea. He’s the other character who would have an idea about your strength.

On that note, thinking about a romantic partner for Rook... I thought what was best was someone who wouldn’t find him odd. Who would actually try to learn about him.

Lilia’s... was also pretty easy given he enjoyed hanging upside down a lot in the main story hahah. Lilia cute, I love him. Also, when will Lilia stop messing with Idia? Probably never tbh.

I touched upon the topic of mortality and immortality, but because I wanted this to be lighthearted--I chose not to pursue it. It would drag the mood down, but honestly--it’s something we can’t ignore and is very integral in relationships with Lilia or Malleus.

#aimuses #ainotes #ai lift series

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its-sixxers · 4 years

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OC Interview - Briar Mary

Doing this both to flesh her out, find a voice for her, and also let you peeps learn a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ about her.

name ➔ “Mary. Jack started calling me Briar Mary, but people only really call me that to tease me.” Self consciously, she touches the strange spurs growing through her shoulder like needles. “Maybe that’s why people called him Smiling Jack. I don’t know.”

are you single ➔ A belabored sigh and a long suffering look is cast to the interviewer. “Don’t be cruel.”

are you happy ➔ “Not really. But I can’t complain. Could be worse.”

are you angry ➔ “I look like a Brujah to you?” She raises the brow that isn’t pierced. “Nah. I keep my Beast collared.”

are your parents still married ➔ A frown, lost in thought. “No. They were divorced. I can remember that, but not their names or faces. Weird, huh?” A fragile smile, showcasing her array of mismatched and yellowing fangs. She doesn’t seem bothered.

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ “Detroit. Moved to the west coast when I got married. That was... more recent. Things get fuzzier the closer they get to when I was sired. I’m told it happens if your sire’s got blunt fangs - it’s trauma, or something.”

hair color ➔ She barks with laughter. “Oh, these aren’t personalized! That makes me feel better. Means you aren’t mean.” A wag of a clawed finger, playfully scolding. “Like the rest of my clan, I’m pretty clean cut. Prefer it - Mitnick told me about this guy who had hair, but just little weird wiry strands sticking out of boils and- oh, I’m not making you nauseous am I?”

eye color ➔ Mary flutters non-existent eyelashes, placing a hand under her chin. “Why don’t you tell me?” White irises gleam faintly in the gloom, her left eye caged behind her piercings.

birthday ➔ “It was sometime in April, I think? It always rained. I remember that.” A light shrug. “I was sired October 22, in 2004. Pretty hard to forget that. I guess that’s the closest thing our kind have to a birthday.”

mood ➔ “Thirsty.” She bares her fangs playfully again, flicking her tongue against the front ones. “I’m just teasing.”

gender ➔ “Nosferatu.” she snickers. “I used to be a woman, don’t know if that still applies since I’m not really human anymore. Don’t know if it matters.”

summer or winter ➔ “Winter. Longer nights. Summer’s a nightmare. Can’t get anything done once June hits.”

morning or afternoon ➔ Another barked laugh. “You ghouls are funny. What if I said sunrise was my favorite, huh?” A wink. “Very early mornings, if you want to get all technical. 4 AM’s nice - pretty quiet, most Kindred are back in their beds or coffins or whatever but there’s still a little bit of time to enjoy the silence before you have to worry about sunlight. Although people tell me you stop doing that the older you get.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ “I said don’t be cruel.” This time, there’s a trace of sadness to her eyes instead of resigned annoyance.

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “I know a couple of thin bloods who provide compelling evidence.” She tilts her head. “Um. Sure.”

who ended your last relationship ➔ Her brow furrows, as it does whenever she tries to remember what living was like. “Me. I did. Ran away. I think it was bad. But I wasn’t married when I got sired, so I think I made it to better pastures.”

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ It’s strange, how laughter and crying can sound so similar. Mary makes a noise split between the two. “I don’t know. Don’t really care. It was before, if it ever happened. I think my rejection now could only be a relief.”

are you afraid of commitments ➔ “In general? Or the romantic sense? Either way - if I play my cards right, I’m going to be living pretty long. Any commitment’s kind of a big one, in the uh, vow sense. But for a good cause? Nah. Not scared.”

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “I get within six feet of anyone and they wrinkle their nose. Fuck no.”

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “If I have any they’re probably secret.” she muses aloud. “You’ve got to be a sick fuck to want to get down with this.”

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Jesus, that’s heavy.” Another frown. “It’s heartbreaking looking like this, I’ll tell you that much. You get used to it, but I’m not a big fan of mirrors.”

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ That look of tired resignation returns. “Love.”

lemonade or iced tea ➔ “I can’t really drink either. I can smell them, that’s kind of... the same... tea’s nice.”

cats or dogs ➔ “Cats don’t seem to mind me. I scare dogs. And some cats.”

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “Regular friends tend to have shifting loyalties, and that’ll get you killed, cupcake. I keep my circles of trust very, very small.”

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ Mary snickers now. “Wild nights out are all I do. Not the kind you’re probably asking about though.”

day or night ➔ “Day! I love burning to death. It’s on my bucket list.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ “Nosferatu don’t get caught. You have to see us first.” She winks.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “I fell down stairs, but only because the stairs fell first. Fuck the Ocean House Hotel, by the way.”

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ There’s a little flinch in her face, but her smile hastily returns. “Blood, of course. You’re a ghoul, you probably know a bit of the feeling. You get low, and it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. Never piss off whoever’s running the local blood bank. Just a tip.”

wanted to disappear ➔ “Wanted to? More like can.” She wiggles her clawed fingers for emphasis. “I’d demonstrate, but I’d need a few sips to make it worth it. I don’t think you want me chewing on your neck.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ Another baring of her mess of fangs. “I’m going to have to go with eyes, boss.”

shorter or taller ➔ “I’m pretty small. I’d like to be taller. Oh, you mean in-” Understanding dawns on her features. “I mean, if I was still... into that whole thing... tall is nice.”

intelligence or attraction ➔ “I’d be a fucking hypocrite if I said anything other than intelligence. Lucky for me, it’s true. You start saying you’d prefer a pretty face over a smart mind and you’re going to have one of my people coming to make an example out of you.”

hook-up or relationship ➔ “Uh.” she scratches her temple. “I remember sex, and it wasn’t that great. Maybe I was missing out. Either way, no chance of that now. No chance of relationships either, but a girl can dream, hey?”

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ “From what I remember of living - fuck no. It’s why I got married quick and ended up in LA. I’d call the Anarchs my family now, and we get along alright. The newbies like to talk shit until they realize who I am, then they’re real polite.”

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “Hah! Messed up unlife is more correct. It’s been interesting at least.”

have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Oh yeah. It’s um. A habit of mine, I guess.”

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “Before? Probably. After? Almost, after that blood hunt mess. Christ. That was terrible.”

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “A few of them are pains in my ass, but I wouldn’t say hate. Then they’re not friends. They’re frenemies.”

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Well, yeah.”

who is your best friend ➔ A thoughtful hum. “Mitnick’s been the nicest. Knox is a sweetheart. You mean who I trust most though, probably.” She swallows, eyes darting around nervously. “Nines owes me enough and has enough of a sense of honor that I’m pretty sure he’ll never fuck me over. Let’s go with him.”

who knows everything about you ➔ “Can I say my entire clan? Because that’s probably the truth. If there’s something to know, they know it - and I’m not very mysterious. Keep that in mind if you decide to ask them these questions, cupcake. Maybe edit a few. I’m one of the nice ones.” A wink.

#oc interview #oc: briar mary #cw: body horror #for the art :V

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nerdycatastrophe · 3 years

Text

Idk did some pixel art and I’m now gonna attach my danganronpa fancharacter biographies because I can :DD (sprite edits, character details and designs are subject to change btw and this very post will be re-blogged everytime I edit something.)

W/ SCARF AND BEANIE

Name and Talent:

Ikani Rinyu, Ultimate Digital/Multimedia Artist

Birth Date and Age:

February 13, 16 years old

Race and Ethnicity:

Polynesian Japanese // Filipino Japanese

Accent:

Japanese, just...japanese.

Blood Type:

A+

Weight and Height:

128 lbs, 5'2 ft

Mental or Physical disorders:

Recovering Pyromaniac (I’m still researching about Inattentive ADHD and if this oc has accurate symptoms) and Peptic Ulcer

Sex, Pronouns and Gender identity:

Biologically Female, Prefer She/Her/Herself & They/Them/Themself or any pronouns & Demi-girl

Sexual and Romantic orientation:

Asexual Biromantic

Religion / Belief:

Agnostic

Other Hobbies:

Cooking, Baking, Making things out of matchsticks and wood and Drawing traditionally.

Likes:

Making digital artworks, playing with match sticks and flowers.

Loves:

The idea of setting things on fire or being around fire (for emotional reasons and urges) and warmth.

Dislikes:

Theft-related activity, acidic food and seafood.

Despises:

The idea of water and feeling cold.

Personality type and traits: ISFP

(INTROVERTED;SENSING;FEELER;PERCEIVING)

Personality description:

Ikani is mostly self-aware of reality’s hardships yet tend to keep up an ‘’whatever goes, is what happen and I cannot potentially do anything to change that.’’ carefree, reckless, will only believe when she has seen attitude that pretends to be a healthy optimistic nihilist way of dealing with life but when unmasked turns out to be a faulty uncertain self-hate of pessimism that pretends to be optimistic or a realist way of thinking and solving problems. This can badly affects her creative ability to do any problem solving, thinking outside the box or standing up for herself and the people she loves alone unless she has encountered that situation before or has help from someone with far more experience. She does not rebel that much to authority or dictatorship as she believes rules are rules or the law is the law and whatever unintended consequences that follow or reports of abuse of power are normal and natural but she’s open-minded and adaptable enough to consider changing rules and regulations peacefully if she’s convinced or confident enough. Either way, Whatever happens is whatever happens in the present and she won’t make any effort to neither change or preserve any rules or laws that much. She, most of the time, follows whatever happens in the present world with no consideration for the consequences that would follow because she doesn’t like to think philosophically or overthink.

Habits:

Stimming, flapping hands around, running around in circles when stressed, excited, happy, confused or afraid if she can’t bottle up her emotions, Running away from problems as much as possible (literally and figuratively) and bottling up her feelings. Also tends to get distracted and daydreams a lot yet when it’s her turn to talk about herself she goes a little overboard which can put off people and assume she is selfish. (when it’s just a habit she does)

Character morality alignment:

Lawful Neutral <-> Neutral Good

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 1:

Ikani Rinyu once translated from Japanese to English respectively means ‘’How’’ and ‘’Renew’’ forming the phrase, ‘’How renew.’’

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 2:

Mess with the letters on Ikani and you’ll get ‘’Ikanai’’ which means ‘’Don’t go’’ referring to her brother, ‘’Ika’’ which means ‘’not exceeding’’, ‘’Kanai’’ which means ‘’Flower’’, ‘’Kani’’ which means ‘’crab’’, ‘’Ikan’’ which means ‘’Fish’’, ‘’Ani’’ which is another term for ‘’brother’’ and ‘’Ni’’ which means ‘’to go’’

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 3:

Mess with the letters on Rinyu and you’ll get ‘’Rin’’ which means ‘’Cold’’ in Japanese and ‘’Dignified’’ or ‘’Severe’’ in Italian, ‘’Inu’’ which means ‘’Dog’’, and ‘’Rinu’’ which can mean ‘’Freelance of flowers’’ and ‘’Beautiful’’ or ‘’Pretty’’ in Indian.

Zodiac and Planet:

She is an Aquarius and is assigned the planet Uranus based on her zodiac.

Backstory:

Ikani Rinyu was born as a second child to a worker class family (Rinyu family) who mostly had time for her. Many years went by and her parents had to focus on things they deemed far more important in order to sustain a family with regular income. Her family’s income condition worsened when the day before Ikani 7th birthday, She, her brother and her parents were robbed of a lot of yen at gun-point by a gang after they went to the store and bought a digital tablet for her as a gift (because they felt as if they were neglecting Ikani because of work). After the incident happened, Ikani's mother divorced with her husband because it turned out that Ikani's father had connections with the gang that robbed them and never told her about it. Another reason for her parents divorce is that both of her father and mother had an underlying conflict in which both were never really interested in each other and only agreed to marry back when they were friends so that they can decrease their tax and avoid debt and they both felt guilty about divorcing each other because both felt that they were selfish with their underlying mutual motivations for marriage, they were still saving up money and investing and couldn’t afford to divorce early, and that divorcing will affect their children greatly if they will be honest about it to them at an early age (suprise suprise, bottling up your feelings worsens everything, yourself and everyone around you). This robbery incident went mainstream after the time Ikani’s mother divorced Ikani’s father and her remaining family was secretly interviewed by a group of ''journalists'' and this is how (insert academy name) found and scouted Ikani just so they can replace and -cover up an ultimate's death.- So her mom and the group of journalists made a contract in exchange for financial gain and basically free education for Ikani and her brother and also medical + financial insurance. Ikani started setting things on fire (mostly flowers, sticks and wood) on ‘’accident’’ just to gain attention from her busy mom, brother and everyone else she was close to and was forming a relationship with, in which her ‘’habits’’ slowly spiralled and developed into impulsive Pyromania because she felt that she was never loved enough + with her parents divorce taking a toll on her (her brother tried to help but also didn't know what to do and was busy with their own school). Around this time, she also felt like eating would decrease her family's money greatly so she tried skipped eating snacks at school but not basic meals yet she still developed peptic ulcer. On her 11th birthday, Ikani’s brother finally took a stand and consulted a ‘’reliable’’ therapist/psychiatrist and a dietician (who helped with the insert academy's goals) despite it being expensive and discouraged by her mom. Her therapist/psychiatrist then noted to her parents that Ikani should focus more on expressing her emotions in more artistic and creative ways in order to cope with her bottled up emotions, trauma and urges and using the digital tablet she got at age 7 when everything was still relatively alright should be a good head start. Her dietician also helped her with resolving her peptic ulcer and convinced her that she shouldn't feel bad about eating extra snacks and set out a diet for her to follow. Soon, The academy’s contract money given to her parents was enough to sustain her creative urges as Ikani eventually learned to create moving and still digital artworks including complex 3d and photography by simply using her tablet that had limited features over the years despite her age as she contributed to many famous and iconic company logos, designs, presentations, artworks, animations, movies, edits and videos that are found in the media. Over the years, Ikani secretly wished that the contract would stop as that diverted corporate's financial wants for themselves because of her hidden relations with the academy journalists and she wishes she was never born and regretted that time she was too ''needy'' at age 7 (she shouldn't blame herself though) but never took her own ground against it to her mom as she felt like she was selfish for wanting to do something her mom didn't desire so she ended up ONLY EVER venting her emotions through her work/hobby and sometimes forgot how to express her emotions.

Reasons for acting the way she does during the killing game:

The reason why she doesn’t vent her emotions and only bottles it up during the killing game is because just like in the original Danganronpa series, Monokuma would confiscate your belongings that allowed access to communicating with the outside world (and it just turned out her only venting item was a digital tablet that would probably screw up Monokuma) Also, it’s because the idea of ‘’Survival of the Fittest.’’, ‘’Being weak will kill you.’’ and ‘’No time for crying because it is not yet over’’ is in her head all the time + fear of being impulsive again and accidentally resurfacing her Pyromania and basically rendering her brother’s efforts to help her with her problems useless so yeah she’s guilty of wanting to feel emotions so she eventually becomes numb to the things happening around her. All of these are her ways of justifying being emotionless, being unintentionally ignorant and coping with loss and grief in a dangerous game that could kill you any moment.

Student percentile, Predictability and chances:

>Gets killed normally: 30%

>Punished and killed for breaking rules OR due to unfair trial misconduct shenanigans because plot: 4.6%

>ATTEMPTED to murder someone: 20%

>Blackened AND escapes: 10.5%

>Blackened BUT executed: 25.5 %

>Killed someone BUT died during or before their murder trial: 9%

>Betrays everyone as the MASTERMIND: 1.5 %

>Betrays everyone as the MOLE // TRAITOR: 5.7 %

>Survives the killing game as an forever evil MOLE // TRAITOR // MASTERMIND in the killing game: 0.8 %

> Survives the killing game as a redeemed MOLE // TRAITOR // MASTERMIND in the killing game: 0.3 %

>Survives the killing game as a normal person in the killing game: 35%

W/ VISION CORRECTING VISORS

2. W/ VISION CORRECTING READING GLASSES

3. N/A EYEWEAR

Name and Talent:

Cyl Bol // Cyden Boliver ^ Ultimate Arcade Attendant

Birth Date and Age:

July 9 ^ 15 years old

Race and Ethnicity:

Dutch Japanese

Accent:

Russian mixed with Dutch and Japanese

Blood Type:

B-

Weight and Height:

100 lbs ^ 5'5 ft

Mental or Physical disorders:

Developing schizophrenia symptoms (I’m still researching on this so I’m not sure) and PAPD (Passive-Aggressive Disorder) and has genetic Albinism + Astigmatism.

Sex, Pronouns and Gender identity:

Biologically male, Any pronouns but They/Them/Themself and He/Him/Himself are preferred, Gender-fluid

Sexual and Romantic orientation:

Toric // Quadrisan or Viramoric

Religion / Belief:

Reformed // Progressive Judiasm (yeah, this the correct term-)

Other Hobbies:

Debate, Internet surfing, Meditation, Reading philosophical/theology books, Practicing first-aid methods and crushing herbs.

Likes:

Salt, Bread, Dieting (fasting), Figs, Bread, Wheat and Grains, Krupnik with meat

Loves:

Philosophy, Theology, Basic human rights, Debating, Eating Chopped Liver

Dislikes:

The taste of pork (im sorry for adding this if it feels a little bit racist but I genuinely hate pork and I wanted to add it to a character that fits it the most without being too ignorant and stereotypical while still making the character that dislikes pork have an actual personality and backstory other than just RELIGION stuff. keep in mind this character hates pork not because it’s ‘’unholy’’, it’s because it tastes horrible for them), Immature // Karen customers, His own talent, Seeds, Human contact, Getting sick and parties/social celebrations.

Despises:

Strict people, Strict rules, Strict regulations, Dense and stubborn optimists, Peer pressure, Being taunted for being weak // frail, The sun’s warmth and sunlight, Going outside, Backstabbers and being manipulated.

Personality type and traits: INTP

(INTROVERTED;INTUITIVE;THINKING;PERCEIVING)

Personality description:

Really really intentionally and maybe unintentionally paranoid, superstitious, ‘’weird’’ passive-aggressive and lonely since it's his way of avoiding unnecessary conversations that could drain out his energy for him to save up on topics he deems far more important (philosophy + theology) and people that could potentially hurt him again unless they specifically ask him or want something from him for a short // limited amount of time and say it extremely extremely politely to the point where he feels pity or someone out-smarts his passive-aggressiveness causing Cyl to do your favor immediately out of embarrassment, anger, frustration or getting flustered. Most of the time, Cyl has a rather nihilistic and pessimistic (but sometimes, realistic and optimistic at times) views and mindsets of life and would rather die rather than following strict regulations // rules. Although he is a passive type of Nihilist and knows there isn’t that much value in life despite searching it (even with religion), He still is sort of a coward and ends up helping other people out of pity, jealousy, admiration or respect and will still be willing to fight for people’s rights things society deems unworthy despite the odds and his diminishing motivation on doing so. Cyl prefers to be individualistic, thoughtful, overthink for hours, alone and free when it comes to him making decisions or going onto places. Although he’s an INTP, He allows his emotions to run wild at times (even if in the process, hurting other people whether he realizes it or not) which allows him to make thoughtfully calculated decisions without having the burden of emotions and mood. Because of his defiance against the norms, He can usually think outside the box and think of solutions quick enough to solve an underlying problem on time in an creative yet messy analytical manner. Also yeah he struggles following rules.

Habits:

Praying a bit too much than usual, Rapidly cleaning visor goggles // reading glasses even when not needed, Limping hands and fingers to relax hand tendons, muscles and bones and tugging at Hanukkah snow cap when embarrassed / flustered.

Character moral alignment:

Chaotic Neutral

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 1:

Cyl is an abbreviation of ‘’Cylinder’’ which indicates the lens power your doctor is prescribing to correct your astigmatism (and this oc has astigmatism)

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 2:

Bol can be an abbreivation for Broek Op Langedijk (a dutch town), Beacon of light, Bread of Life, Bolivia’s (sounds like Boliver) ISO Country code, Beginning Of Life and Balls Of Light (paranormal phenominon associated with crop circles) Name Etymology and Shenanigans 3:

Cyden is of English origin and means "To stand strong and be brave together as one" and Cayden is of American origin and means ‘’Fighter’’

Name Etymology and Shenanigans 4:

Bolivar is the name of the South American soldier that had a country (Bolivia) dedicated to him. Oliver is a boy name that means ‘’Descendant Of The Ancestor’’ in English, In latin it means Olive (symbol of peace); peaceful. Olive is a girl’s name meaning ‘’Olive tree’’ and is another symbol of peace.

Zodiac and Planet:

He is a Cancer and is assigned the ‘planet’ moon based on their zodiac.

Backstory:

N/A (ITS ALMOST 2 AM LOL MAYBE TOMORROW)

Student percentile, Predictability and chances:

N/A (ITS ALMOST 2 AM LOL MAYBE TOMORROW)

#Ikani Rinyu #Cyl Bol #Cyden Boliver #Ultimate Multi-Media Artist #Ultimate Arcade Attendant #Danganronpa : Even in Digital Equality #Danganronpa Pixel Art sprite #Danganronpa #Danganronpa Fancharacters #Danganronpa OCs

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