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lemonmaid · 4 months

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Parenting 101

Enter gojo and geto pre-scenting items for their new pup

Warnings: omegaverse, toddler/Newborn reader, mentions of infertility, family Fluff. Worried Suguru, Gender Neutral reader, No one dies AU, modern AU

Did Suguru need to use Satoru's card and basically buy a whole store?

No.

But it wasn't like Satoru was going to complain or pay for it, that's the Gojo's Clan problem, plus they wouldn't care as long as it was for pup stuff.

“Papa, can we get McDonald's-”.

“I want a happy meal!”.

“No, I want KFC!!”.

“But we had that yesterday Mimiko-”.

Suguru pinched his nose, “no one is getting anything unless you start acting right, we are in the middle of the mall. Also it's almost dinner time, We have food at home”.

The four pups looked at Suguru wide eyed.

Megumi was starting to pout, the four year old's lip quivered, his milky scent quickly turning sour, Tsumiki noticed quickly, “Geto-san, Megumi is crying”.

Suguru sighed, picking up Megumi and pulling him into his neck. “Girls. Can you please grab the bags, we are going home”.

‘One more can't hurt he said, one more every time’

Satoru was currently at home with a lady that was currently filling out paperwork for a house study.

“So, Gojo-san. Four pups, you and your mate want one more?”.

Satoru huffed, “we… always wanted a big family…”

“How charitable-”

“Listen, can't you accept that we might actually like kids and want to have a loving family? we aren't in this for the money or tax benefits”.

The beta sighed, “Well… the house is big enough. Has enough bedrooms and bathrooms and I've already spoken to your mate and children the day before, I'll contact you when we find a good fit”.

Satoru sighed in relief. “Thank you so much”.

On cue, a tired Suguru, a sleeping Megumi and three rowdy girls walked into the house, “We're home!!”.

Satoru jumps up immediately, taking Megumi from Suguru, “Go rest hon, I've got it from here”. Suguru nods before dragging himself upstairs.

“Papa lied! There isn't any food!” Mimiko slammed the fridge-door.

Satoru nervously laughed, “she's joking”.

The beta woman raised an eyebrow, “here's my card info and the case number”. She says her goodbyes and leaves.

“Girls-”.

“I want KFC!!”

“Dad-”

“Gojo-san-”

“GIRLS!” Suguru yelled.

The three girls got quiet looking at Suguru who stood at the end of the stairs, “rooms now”.

The girls hurried to their rooms, leaving Megumi, who was napping on the couch.

“Is everything okay babe?”

Suguru sighed, “I'm just… nervous, stressed and overstimulated”.

Satoru wrapped Suguru in a tight hug, “it's going to be okay, we've done great with the other four, a newborn isn't any different”.

‘Isn't any different’. Suguru scoffed, when they took in Megumi and Tsumiki, Megumi needed to be potty trained and Tsumiki needed help brushing her teeth daily. Suguru sighed, “are we actually ready to have a newborn?”

Satoru shrugged, “I think so, I mean, the parenting books say we are ready”.

Suguru's eye twitched, “oh so what does the parenting say to do now”. He points up the stairs where the girls are eavesdropping. “Do we give in and buy KFC because I'm not touching a stove tonight-”.

“I'll cook”.

“You cannot cook”.

“Um… ramen?”.

Suguru sighed, “fine”.

As Satoru boiled water in the electric kettle, Suguru tended to the nursery, scenting all the blankets, pillows and stuffed animals that were being prepped for their newborn.

Suguru stared at the mountain of blankets, something felt off, nothing felt right.

Satoru interrupted his thoughts, “knock knock, are you feeling any better?”.

“I'm just….nervous. This is the first time We can scent anything for the pup. We couldn't do it for the other four, I didn't want to overwhelm them. Now I can scent-”.

“You're making yourself sick worrying like this, you'll be fine, they'll be fine”.

Suguru handed a blanket for Satoru to smell.

“We'll make sure they are loved”.

#geto x gojo #jjk x reader platonic #jjk gojo #jjk geto #baby megumi #jujutsu kaisen #omegaverse #jjk omegaverse #omega geto #alpha gojo #gojo satoru x geto suguru

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astonmartinii · 1 year

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play date | max verstappen instagram au

pairing: max verstappen x reader

max and his neightbour y/n have a play date for their babies - i mean, their cats.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbffname and 3,098 others

yourusername monaco's resident cat lady reporting for duty

view all 22 comments

yourbffname the way they all live better lives than me rn

yourusername sorry not sorry they're my babies

maxverstappen1 you, me, the cats - play date?

yourusername time and place, i'm there

maxyverstappen WHAT IS HAPPENING

yourusername added to their story

[caption: thinking about how i'm about to go on a cat play date with a man i've never met]

maxverstappen1 added to their story

[caption: jimmy is ready to make friends]

yourusername

liked by yourbffusername, maxverstappen1 and 5,129 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername new faces (and a lot of cat hair)

view all 36 comments

maxverstappen1 i was not expecting you to pull up with a stroller full of cats but i'm impressed

yourusername they're princesses they don't like to walk

maxverstappen1 oh absolutely

lovelyverstappen oh wait they weren't joking? they actually met?

violetverstappen it's kinda cute

maxverstappen1

liked by redbullracing, danielricciardo and 705,247 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1 when in offseason, you have cat play dates of course

view all 11,763 comments

yourusername jimmy and sassy were the bestest playmates, thank you for having us

maxverstappen1 come back anytime

danielricciardo max we need to work on your flirting skills buddy

maxverstappen1 have faith, i know what i'm doing

redbullstan33 idk how this happened but i'm enjoying watching it

landonorris a cat play date might just be the craziest rizz i've ever seen

maxverstappen1 trust the process

yourusername added to their story

[caption: yoga buddy]

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 662,389 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, yourusername

danielricciardo took a lil trip to the cat house - also known as the y/ln residence. great hospitality but made the mistake of wearing black - that's on me tho

view all 11,065 comments

yourusername they can't help it :(

maxverstappen1 not to victim blame but you literally led on the floor and waited for all of them to sit on you

maxieverstappen awwww max defending y/n and her kitties

landonorris where was my invite?

yourusername added to their story

[caption: additions to the household for the weekend]

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen, danielricciardo and 6,349 others

yourusername we're on the way ...

view all 101 comments

maxverstappen1 looking forward to seeing you all :)

yourusername we've missed you too

honeyricciardo okay this is so fucking cute

danielricciardo MY GODCHILDREN ARE COMING????

redbullracing

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 551,076 others

tagged: yourusername

redbullracing some special guests in the garage this weekend! y/n drove all the way from monaco with her and max's cats so they could see their dad in action.

view all 27,033 comments

yourusername thank you for having us :)))

maxverstappen1 the cutest orange army in the world

flowersformax so did red bull just confirm the relationship?

f1fan33 i hope so

babyyuki i hope so

pierregasly i hope so

danielricciardo i hope so

yourusername okay we get it

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 922,478 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1 was never the best kept secret, but what started as a cat play date finished with the love of my life. i love you y/n, even if you do come with seven little devils

view all 33,067 comments

yourusername MAX THEY CAN HEAR YOU

yourusername i love you too

danielricciardo ur such a sap I LOVE IT

landonorris do i finally get to meet them now?

lovelyverstappen i love this so much

#f1 instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x you #f1 #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen

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jadeysjasmine · 2 months

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Ghost Of You - Alexia Putellas x Reader

A/N: This is a repost. 666 words.

Tags: Angst

Summary: Based on ghost of you by 5 seconds of summer

Here I am waking up, Still can't sleep on your side..

It had been three weeks since the worst day of your life, three weeks since alexia ditched you at the alter.

You had woken up exhausted with a pounding headache from crying yourself to sleep, it has almost became a routine.

Sleeping on the left side of the bed, your side, not daring to touch the other side, her side, hoping that this was some sick joke and you wake up wrapped in the arms of the love of your life but of course, you wake up alone.

Her side still smelled like her, like home.

There's your coffee cup, The lipstick stain fades with time..

When you drag yourself out of bed and into the kitchen, there's a mountain of dishes that you have no intention of doing, most of them you don't care about but there's one dish that you haven't even touched.

It was a coffee cup, alexia's cup, you remember it very well, she was due to go dress shopping with her mother and sister but before that she wanted to have breakfast with you.

She had previously gotten ready so her lipstick was smushed on the rim of the cup as you two were chatting away, totally losing track of time alexia was running late so with a kiss, she sat the cup beside the sink, vowing to clean it later.

If I can dream long enough, You'd tell me I'd be just fine..

You found yourself laying awake at night, unable to sleep. All you could do was think about alexia, wondering what when wrong? why did she leave you? was there someone else?

You felt 101 different emotions, ranging from anger to hurt to sadness, your emotions were all over the place.

When you finally got to sleep, she was there in your dreams again but before she could tell you it was all ok, that you two were ok, you woke up and into a reality without her.

So I drown it out like I always do, Dancing through our house with the ghost of you..

To try counter the thoughts you always had background noise, whether that be music or a show.

One thing you and alexia used to do was play your playlist through the speaker and dance with each other in the kitchen.

Sometimes you would put this playlist on, close your eyes and dance like you used to do with her.

This brought you peace and you swore you could even feel her lingering touches.

Cleaning up today, Found that old Zeppelin shirt..

You decided to try get your life in order and that started by cleaning you neglected apartments

When cleaning you noticed, right in the back of the closet an old band tee, you smiled at the memory.

You and alexia had only been dating a few months when she stayed over for the first time, the sleepover was spontaneous so she had no clothes and you had to let her borrow some of yours, you had given her shorts and the tshirt, she took them but questioned the band, your confirmed that you and your dad loved the band and it was something that bonded you growing up so you both spent the night listening to their music.

So I drown it out like I always do, Dancing through our house with the ghost of you.

You found yourself yet again swaying in your kitchen, imagining dancing to this song with ale, her front against your back, her arms around you, lips on your neck and her scent invading your senses.

And I chase it down , With a shot of truth, That my feet don't dance like they did with you..

It was no use though, you still felt cold, still felt empty and you couldn't do this alone but you needed to face reality.

You needed her and she wasn't here.

#woso #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas #Spotify

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beiasluv · 1 year

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heyyy so i was thinking what would happen if neteyam went to jake for advice on how to ask the reader out, i just thought it'll be a cute moment :) you don't have to write it if u don't want to, completely up to u 💓

have a lovely day gorgeous 🫶

a father’s advice? neteyam x reader

a/n: that’s actually so cute / ye grammar mistake cuz I’m too potato / hope you enjoy, gorgeous gorgeous girl 🤍

masterlist

saying who’s got the most rizz in the family is hard, their blood is strong. but one thing neteyam can’t deny, is that his father is the original rizz

how did he managed to pulled off neytiri? he don’t fucking know. the daughter of the chief while he is a ‘dreamwalker’ to them? he got them rizz

neteyam, being the golden child he is, is determined to follow his father’s footsteps.

and who else could he ask advice from? lo’ak? nope, that boy would never miss a chance to make fun of him, if he would go for his assistant. plus, he got rizzed up by tsireya, he down real bad.

kiri? nah, she has her own world and neteyam respects that. letting her be her free-spirited self would be the best option.

spider 👁️👁️ what does that boy know? does he even have a girlfriend? *ahem* i guess we’ll never know. he got the lowest rizz game in the family, with all due respect from neteyam.

tukkk, SHE IS A MINOR AND A CHILD.

neytiri? i guess? bet she would be more of a pain in the ahh if he would go to her for advice. being a mom she is, she would definitely judge neteyam’s crush and all of his dream would crash down. no, we don’t want that.

jake, it is.

but how? how to make it the least awkward to approach his dad about stuff like this?

he tried to give his dad signals and signs everyday but he doesn’t seem to pick them up. he even started to doubt if his dad is the real player, cuz them boy is clueless😭

“dad?”

“yes?” jake replied with his back facing neteyam.

“how do you er…like send a sign?”

“neteyam, i thought we went over this already,” he sighed. “press your collar when speaking, and say ‘over’ when you are done talking”

“oh!” he scratched his neck. “okay, sorry, dad.”

neteyam was hopeless 😭 but to get a girl, he can’t just give up easily

he tried again, now, with a little help from his sister

“dad,” he walked quietly into the marui where his dad is resting.

“what?” he grumbled.

“erm…last time…when…” his words fumbled around each other, while kiri came into the marui.

“when what? get to the point,” he shifted the blanket off his chest and sat up.

“dad, he is asking you how to ask a girl out,” she said nonchalantly as she looked through the drawer. “you’re welcome, bro,” with a swift of her tail, she was out the door.

“oh, well,” jake chuckled loudly. “have i heard correctly?”

“well, yea..yes.”

“c’mere, son,” he patted the mattress. “let me show you.”

jake would be so proud. he would laugh uncontrollably for like 10 minutes cause neteyam got him worried there.

but his son ask, he will reveal

“now, welcome to “the way of rizz 101” class with jake sully,” he joking said. “there are many ways to ask a girl out, alright, but there is a main pattern you must look out for.”

“number 1: set the mood. it is the most important, alright?” he ruffled neteyam’s locks. “you could never go wrong with setting the mood, look for spots, lighting, and the feels.” “guess where we got down, the tree of souls, yeah, magic, am i righ-“

“ew dad, please.”

“okay, listen to the experts, son,” he laughed. “number 2: make it personal, PER-SO-NAL”

“yes, i understand, I’m not dumb”

“no, son, it’s really important. don’t reuse your letters, never get her the same gift. DO NOT never ever use the same pick up line. AND definitely do not use the same pattern for every girl.” (amen to deja-vu from olivia rodrigo, guys)

“number 3: be yourself,” he patted his son back. “don’t be afraid, if she doesn’t accept your offer, don’t let it consume you.”

“how can i do that?” he retorted.

“what is she like?”

“she is the only girl i have ever laid my eyes on and they were stuck! can’t imagine even just one other girl that i have felt the same feelings i am feeling right now.”

“that’s the spirit, atta boy,” he chuckled. “then, i pray for eywa that this is the way.” “eywa will show you the way if she is the one for you,” he smiled softly.

“and a honorable mention, do not ever make a girl cry over your stupid mistakes, alright?”

“how would i know?”

“you would feel it, respect her, respect her as a goddess, hell yeah, adore her, like eywa,” he added. “she is gentle but deadly, the spirit of life. always ask for consent, always. when you are mated for life, you both become equal.”

“let her guide you, and let you guide her,” he held his palms together as one. “now, how to rizz a girl up is not useful without your effort,” he patted his son’s head and pushed him up.

“go get the girl, atta boy!”

today is a great day to go touch grass 😳 i mean- take care of yourself 🤍

@rosaryos / @bumblinbumblvee / @loudcolorwolfgarden / @nyotamalfoy / @fangirl-2610 / @astablacksword / @lokisblueskin

#fanfiction #avatar imagine #avatar the way of water #neteyam x reader #avatar x reader #imagines #neteyam imagine #jake sully imagine #jake sully #neteyam

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darkvioletwonderland · 6 months

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HEARTSTEEL Headcanons - Display of Affection ✨

This is the first time I’m writing Headcanons for these guys so bare with me <3

Ezreal

When it comes to affection, he’s all about always letting you know you’re on his mind. His love is creative and caring.

Sliding sticky notes with doodles into your purse or wallet with affectionate words like “You’re my most precious” “The light of my life” “You’re the most colorful flower in the garden”. Most times, you’re not sure how he’s able to do so without getting caught.

He always asks to see your outfit of the day. Admiring whatever you decided to put on regardless if it made sense.

If he had a song lyric in mind, he’d ask to hop on a call with you so you could listen to him work on it.

He constantly seeks hugs from you. You cannot escape the green man from cuddling you with a loving embrace.

Kayn

He bites. Lovingly of course. Hes not super good when it comes to saying feelings outright. But his love is passionate and wild.

He hugs you from behind when you’re cooking. Only nibbling your shoulder if you don’t give him the attention he seeks.

He’s chaotic and passionate about it. His kisses always longer than a minute. Leaving you breathless every single time.

Compliments always come in the form of whispers into your ear. They can range from something casual to something that leaves you a blushing mess.

He’s definitely made you do Karaoke with him (mostly to appease Rhaast)

K’sante

His love is sweet and honest. Always making sure to say the right things to have you smile.

Every now and then, he surprises you with your favorite dessert. Because to him, you always deserve a treat.

When there’s music playing, he pulls you along to dance with him. Letting you step on his feet if you don’t quite know how to move.

He always asks for you to tell him which perfume to wear that day. Knowing you like a specific cologne on him.

During an event, he will ask what color is your outfit. So he can match with you with a suit or a tie. (He loves going out in style)

Aphelios

His love is kind and attentive. Always looking your way when you walk in the room. Noting everything about you.

Every couple of days, you wake up to poems about his love for you. Just don’t mind if they were made at 3 am.

He draws hearts along your skin with his finger whenever you two are alone.

Before a prank, he lets you in on the logistics so you can join him on the fun. You’re his partner in crime.

He’s definitely matching profile icons with you. All the time.

Sett

His love is happy and energetic. A smile is always on his face when he sees you.

Whenever he visits his mom, he always gets a batch of cookies to bring to you. Knowing you like them too.

He cracks all the bad jokes he knows to hear you laugh. (Even if Aphelios in the corner is tired of hearing the entire book of dad jokes 101)

He always picks up flowers when he’s out for a run. Not flower shop flowers, but flowers he finds along the way. Why? Because he sees them and they remind him of you. They’re pretty so what if they’re random flowers amr?

He falls asleep easily on your lap because you are that safe space for him. And he hopes you don’t let the other guys draw on his face.

Yone

His love is loyal and gentle. Being by your side is the peace he needs to deal with the band of idiots.

Whenever he makes a mix for a song, he lets you listen while he works on it in the studio.

When you two are alone, he loves hugging you close by the waist and pressing gentle kisses over your lips.

He takes care of your hair and always lets you know how you deserve all the care in the world.

His favorite sound is your heartbeat.

Bonus!

Alune

Her love is quiet but deep.

At the end of the day from dealing with the band affairs, seeing you is all she looks forward to.

Her favorite thing is cuddling with you to sleep and waking up together.

She enjoys shopping with you. (Even though she has to bring Aphelios along so he’s not always indoors)

She blows you kisses when no one is looking.

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maiz-of-light · 10 months

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My husband just asked if the bears know we have a right to their arms so in other news if anyone knows any good divorce lawyers lemme know

#dad jokes 101

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your-queer-dad · 2 months

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Welcome to your queer dad!

Here to answer all your queer questions, share advice and facts, tell bad jokes and help out where I can!

Important tags to remember:

Finch rambles- personal stuff

Aqueerjokeaweek- really bad dad jokes :)

'the earth without art is eh' - queer art!

ask a finch! - asks

20 reasons not to kill yourself today

How to clean a binder 101

How to bind safely in hot weather

A list of good resources

No-one knows what they're doing

What is found family?

Advice for teaching adults inclusivity

Tips for feeling masculine whilst in the closet

Questioning your gender?

The X marker

Activism for beginners

Dad's dog picture

#lgbt #finch rambles #lgbtq #lgbtqia #trans #transgender #queer positivity #trans joy #trans kids #the earth without art is eh #transsexual #your queer dad

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f1-primers · 5 months

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i saw a post by @powerful-owl about how the f1 fandom doesn't have a lot of primers for new fans, and in the interests of sharing the love (having a new thing to obsess over) i've made this little sideblog. i'll reshare any primers i see/i'm tagged in, from the technicalities of tyres to ship lore to old race recommendations, and i'm going to start a list below of ideas in case anyone fancies writing them. HERE IS THE TAG LIST so you can find posts i've shared so far!

technical/sporting stuff

intro to the history of f1

calendar explained - changes over the years, sprint vs normal weekends, double/triple headers

teams - history of each team individually or one big post, a history of team name changes

teams - what a team principal does, what a race engineer does, what other positions there are and faces people might see a lot of

the structure of a race weekend/what the sessions mean - media day, practices, quali, sprint shootout, sprint, race

how qualifying works - sessions, things to watch out for, what teams/drivers actually do during quali

how races work - start process, intro to race strategy & stints, outline of pit stops, how they end, parc ferme > podium

intro to strategy - outline of pitstops, tyre choices, over/undercut, etc

intro to tyres - different types, characteristics of each ones, deg/wear etc

how the timing towers on tv work & how to read them (for free practice, quali & race)

what all the different flags mean

safety car 101

tracks - loads of stuff here: famous tracks, all the tracks on the current calendar, the different between traditional and street tracks, features of a track to watch out for

overtaking explained

technical explainer - drs, battery harvesting, slipstreaming, stuff like that

safety features explainer - halo, hans device, etc

technical terms/slang you might hear

what the FIA is/intro

stewarding/the rules outline

techical requirements - parc ferme, what can/can't be changed over a weekend, rebuilding cars after contact or crashes

pit stops - what happens, what's changed, double stacking, good/bad times, how it affects a race

common penalties - track limits, crossing pit lane entry etc

point system - how it works for sprints/races, how it's changed etc

car design - wings, sidepods, etc

intro to f1 physics - aero, downforce etc

liveries - iconic ones, current team liveries, history of team liveries

the pitlane, paddock & pit wall explained - including order of teams in the pitlane, who everyone on a pit wall is

team radio 101 - what is said, what it means, iconic moments

how weather & temperature affects races/driving

history of f1

most famous races

most famous championships

wildest stuff that's happened in the sport (overall or by decade)

team move dramas

an intro to all the driver's championship winners

'know your history' - big moments people will see referenced

most controversial events - on track

most controversial events - off-track, f1 politics, scandals

moments that changed the sport

fandom stuff

intro to current drivers & their whole vibe

intro to past drivers & their whole vibe

most famous ships in the sport and an outline

most famous rivalries in the sport and an outline

best/funniest team radio moments

silly things that have happened

teammate relationships - the good, the bad, the unhinged

slang & inside jokes you might hear

niche stuff - the orignal post that sparked this referenced an 'alex albon's pets' primer, daniel's tattoos, george's dad, etc. a gift to fic writers! so anything, as niche as it gets, is good

nicknames for drivers, TPs etc explained

iconic fandom moments everyone should know about

#f1 primers #f1blr #intro to f1 #f1 fandom #f1 fans #f1 primer

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inbabylontheywept · 10 months

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"Yeah, sure, and I shit thermite. Be serious."

So. Maybe, he’d gone a little overboard after work that day. He’d admit that. Drinking the sad away wasn’t the most mature way to handle things, but when you got a letter from your dad saying-

Well saying that, you know, maybe it was okay to have a beer or two. In theory. In practice, that meant that two-beers-deep Earl had to somehow have enough willpower to say “naw, I don’t wanna become three-beers-deep Earl,” and then three-beers-deep Earl’s gotta say no to four-beers-deep Earl, and it’s just a bit of a shitshow from there.

Pardon the french.

At least he wasn’t on the clock. The worst thing that should’ve happened to him was waking up tomorrow with a fatass headache and upset friends. Instead, he was in the hospital, surrounded by men with guns, osmotically absorbing the most surreal conversation of his life.

“We’d heard that humans had remarkable healing abilities but this is incredible. Anyone else here would be dead, he’s just showing some signs of esophageal irritation.”

“We got any idea of the culprit?”

“We’re looking over security footage but the culprit must be some kind of ghost. We’ve gone over the security footage at least twenty times, nobody can spot a thing.”

Earl couldn’t help it. He spoke.

“What are you talking about?”

The detective and the doctor jumped at the sound of his voice.

“What the shit-

The doc’s hand went over the detective's mouth, cutting off the oath just a hair too late. The duo looked after each other, before the detective gestured for the doctor to go first.

“I… don’t have very much experience with humans. We thought it’d be a couple of days at least before you woke up. How are you feeling?”

Earl coughed a few times.

“Throat’s raw, head’s pounding, and would kill for anything fried in grease. Pretty standard hangover.”

The detective cut in at that.

“Eh, except for the part where someone poisoned you.”

Earl shrugged.

“Must not have been very good poison.”

The lawman didn't laugh.

“Hydrochloric acid mixed with potassium salts? You can bet your pink ass it’s a good poison. Anyone else here would be dying from a hole in their gut. You been making enemies on the station, colony-boy?”

Earl’s smart alec remark froze as his one semester of biology 101 clawed its way to the front of his brain.

“Oh.”

The detective clicked his pen, ready to start taking notes, even as Earl waved him off.

“No crime here doc, my stomach makes that stuff naturally.”

The doctor blinked even as the detective rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and I shit thermite. Be serious pal, there’s someone here out to get you.”

Earl held his gaze, and after a few moments, the detective’s annoyed face transformed into numb confusion.

“...Hot damn, you aren’t joking. You’re telling me you can spew concentrated acid on a whim?”

The question hit a little close to him, and Earl felt his ears burn.

“Eh… not… on a whim. More like, after six or seven beers.”

The doctor grabbed a pad and began filling out forms of his own.

“Yeah, we’re gonna have to make sure you don’t do that then. You can’t just go around creating chemical waste every time you get sad. I’m going to have to get in contact with IT, set up some kind of cut off point with the cantina for you.”

Someone down the hall must’ve sanitized something because the odor of strong alcohol wafted into the room. It was all Earl could do to not empty his stomach a second time.

“Aye. That’s fair.”

#hfy #humanity fuck yeah #humans are space orcs #science fiction #creative writing #scifi #writing #humans can spit acid #advanced beer theory

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hazbinbossbrainrot · 3 months

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Hazbin Hotel Headcanons:

- Bee & Angel would be best friends (the common denominator being that they’re both insects and have musical abilities)

- Angel Dust doesn’t know the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins except Asmodeus the King of Lust (cuz go figure 🤭) which is his favourite

<> His least favourite Deadly Sin is Mammon (because he reminds him too much of Valentino)

- Angel & Husk have private conversations in Italian because no one else understands

- Husk has reading glasses (boat-shaped) but refuses to use them 😂

- Anthony (Angel Dust) definitely watched RuPaul’s Drag Race when he was alive

- Emily is actually Charlie’s half sister (staying here until confirmed otherwise 🤭)

- Despite being annoyed with Angel Dust (as a person); Alastor gets taught the “gay language” like ‘that’s the tea' etc

- Angel Dust definitely now sings “Loser, Baby” all the time to himself (like the rest of us 🤣)

- Cherri Bomb feels inferior to Husk because 1. She’s Angel’s best friend first and 2. He stops him from being “fucked up”

- Angel Dust has characteristics of ASD (considering that his personality is based on Alaska Thunderfuck who’s definitely on the spectrum with a combination of Trixie Mattel) and also ADHD

- It was stated that Husk was/is family oriented so I definitely have a hunch that he’d would have a family before he died

- Angel Dust (due to the abuse from Valentino) would have a praise/validation kink with a significant other

- Husk’s room is a representation of Las Vegas and has a poker table (for sure!) and a scratching post to file down his claws 😂

- Angel unofficially dated (?) Valentino before things started going downhill (increasingly fast & really bad)

- Alastor had a passion for dad jokes (and annoys everyone with it 😂)

- Husk was definitely friends with good Bee back when he was an overlord (common denominator being their passion being honesty and authenticity)

- Angel habitually locks his door (even at the Hazbin Hotel) because it makes him feel safer

<> Because of this Husk either respectfully knocks on the door or leaves his gift (a bottle of alcohol) outside

- Frank (one of the Egg Boiz) becomes roommates with Angel after he saved his life in 1x08 🥹

- Angel Dust ironically has arachnophobia 🤣 (AKA “fear of spiders”)

- Husk is a gentleman (more implied than HC) in a 101 ways and definitely would be the “old-fashioned” type

- Alastor forces Husk to keep his “overlord attire” to as a reminder of what he had lost

- Angel Dust’s best feature of his body (canonically implied) is chest however — outside of work — will only let certain people touch it

<> Which kind makes sense since he shows off his chest (proud) but keeps his feet hidden (insecure)

- Charlie and Angel Dust have a sibling relationship (definitely canonically implied) but extended of that she’d ask for his opinion or ask him to do her makeup for a big event or something more significant

- When drunk and angry Angel definitely rambles in Italian but no one else understands (except Husk)

- The Seven Deadly Sins are all best friends (except for Mammon)

- Angel Dust has age regression (which is very common victims who have PTSD)

- Husk always makes gambling idioms ~ ie: “I keep my cards to my chest” (translation: I’m a private person)

- Angel Dustdied on his birthday date which is why he doesn’t like to celebrate it anymore

- The minute Charlie learns that Angel is Italian; she goes out of her way to learn the language (as any good surrogate sibling would 🥹)

- Husk doesn’t enjoy card games that don’t involve gambling (so ie Blackjack which is more about getting the numbers than betting money) but sometimes would do it for fun ~ very rarely though

- Niffty & Charlie are actually huge “Huskerdust” fans and would do anything to get Angel and Husk together

- If Husk ever drank coffee he’d have a short or long black without sugar or milk (which often shows maturity)

- Once Angel Dust is comfortable with someone he’d constantly lay on the dad jokes (especially the 18+ 🏳️‍🌈 fruity 🏳️‍🌈 ones)

- Husk waits up for Angel Dust — whether it be 5 AM in the morning— before packing up the bar

- Every 🩷 motif on Angel Dust are the places he’s most sensitive area (so technically his sweet spots)

- Despite Husk being an alcoholic he has actually has a high tolerance of alcohol and would take a lot to get to that point (something emotional related)

- Husk’s real name is either a “Henry” (most likely), “Huxley” or a “Henrik”

<> Henry means “estate ruler” which I thought made the most sense because he owned a casino at one point 🤔

- Adam admires Angel Dust and his porn videos so much he copied his eyeliner (same shape and everything 🤣)

- Alastor cheated when he challenged Husk to a game of cards (there’s no way he wouldn’t have)

- Husk’s casino is called “The Lucky Cat” (or something like that) which is funny because it’s the opposite of him

- Vaggie mistakes Huskerdust’s flirting (who are clearly dating) as Angel sexually harassing Husk 🤣

- Husk zodiac sign is a Leo ♌️ (🐱)

- Angel definitely teases Husk about his age despite being 12 years younger than him (or supposed to be if he hadn’t died in his 30s)

- Husk hates cats which is why he hates his sinner form so much and hates the animal noises that comes out (particularly when matching with the right mood)

- Niffty definitely “ships” Huskerdust and definitely makes fanfiction about them 🤭

- Angel Dust would definitely get triggered by Alastor if he pulled Husk’s chain in front of him (because it mentally brings the former right back to Valentino again)

- Whenever Cherri Bomb and Husk argue Angel Dust is quick to diffuse the situation (not canon but definitely implied in 1x06 “Welcome to Heaven”)

- Husk can read nonverbals not just because it’s necessary for a bartender but also necessary for a gambler (literally need exceptional body language skills to see if someone is bluffing etc)

- Angel Dust becomes “Anthony” whenever he’s severely intoxicated or drugged up

- Fat Nuggets acts like a emotional support animal which is why Angel Dust doesn’t have the heart to rehome him (despite being gifted by Valentino)

- After watching Princess and the Frog for the umpteenth time Angel officially calls Husk “Shadowman” (IFYKYK 🤭) much to his annoyance 😂

- Husk was a bouncer before he died (he definitely had that “bouncer” energy in episode 1x04)

- Angel Dust doesn’t have Voxflix so he has to sometimes miss RuPaul’s Drag Race (and gets irritable when he has sacrifice missing it 🤣)

- Lucifer brings in the other Deadly Sins to help out with Charlie’s hotel as a side job thing and make them become “teachers” for their respective sins

- Husk was/is also very good friends with Beelzebub (back when he was overlord) because of their common interest in authenticity and alcoholism 🤭

- When Angel said “Gawd Niff why you being such a mess?!” in 1x06 he was probably quoting off something that Henroin, his father, said to him

Huskerdust / Anthusker edition:

- Angel is terrified of horror movies (however picks them out regardless for the sake of jumping into Husk’s arms when picking out movies 🤣)

- Husk is definitely “forced” (metaphorically) to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race with Angel Dust and would be the type to get upset if he watched it without him 🤣

- Husk & Angel call each other “baby” and “loser” (affectionately) because it reminds them of their duet

- Fat Nuggets, Frank (post 1x08 🤭), & Niffty are definitely Angel & Husk’s “children” 😂

- Husk due to being the “King of Consent” always fusses about being able to touch Angel even when given the okay 🤣

- Angel goes to Husk’s room whenever he has PTSD / nightmares about Valentino (platonically)

- Husk keeps the “Huskerdust dynamic” with Angel Dust in front of other people; but in private he’s more laidback towards him

- Husk is actually sensual and clingy within the relationship with someone (which is why he’s so emotionless before getting intimate with someone)

- Angel & Husk sing/dance to each other when feeling down to make each other feel better

- Husk definitely watches Angel Dust’s porn movies in private in his spare time (mainly at bedtime where there’s no one around 🤭)

- Angel uses the white noise of Husk’s saxophone to help him sleep (especially after a nightmare about Valentino)

- Husk sings / whistle “Loser, Baby” constantly to himself (and sometimes Angel Dust joins in)

<> Huskerdust have a sort of “pact” that if Angel wants any sort of physical contact with Husk he either has to make the first move or give him a “green light” (because Husk won’t take initiative until allowed )

- Anthony first fell in love with Husk (who fell harder) — since the pilot episode 🤭 — but didn’t know how else how to react so he relied on “Angel Dust’s” personality

- Husk is the “take it slow” type of person (implied) and not the one to always rush into a relationship

- Angel & Husk would definitely go for midnight flights with this soundtrack in the background:

- Husk always gets roped into cuddles & purring (particularly when Angel has one of his rough nights of being SA'd 💔😭)

- Angel is obsessed with Husk’s tonality and gets all sorts of worked up (in a good, sexual way)

- Huskerdust constantly argue about whether Angel should go to Heaven or stay in Hell with Husk ~ which often lead to a heated make out session 🤭

- Angel goes to Husk’s room whenever he has PTSD / nightmares about Valentino (platonically)

<> Husk cuddles Angel — for the umpteenth time — he’s had any sort of nightmare & or PTSD (intimately)

<> Husk’s favourite part of Angel’s body would be his chest and his gold tooth every time he smiled

- Angel always sends acronyms to Husk which irritates the latter in frustration not knowing what it means (ie BAE etc) 🤣

<> Huskerdust would come to an agreement of having an “open relationship” (practically polygamous) due to the fact that Angel Dust is a sex worker & pornstar

- Angel Dust is foreign to lubricants (or if he does know he’s used to it in a very little amounts) and might need a “reintroduction” to a brief sex-ed lesson with the right person

- When in a very drunken state Husk always subconsciously finds himself in front of Angel’s door and knocks on it without thinking 🤭

- Even as Anthony — Angel Dust — will make occasional dirty jokes or sexual innuendos (even in front of Husk) but it’s genuine rather than OTT hypersexuality

- Husk always thinks (internally) that Angel is beautiful every day but really falls hard when he’s just woken up with disheveled hair and no makeup on

Credits to: @a-schmoozer-and-a-dummy

- Even when dating Angel Anthony gets a little anxious about the topic of sex when talking to Husk (and quickly shuts it down)

- Husk always puts planning his dates with Angel 200% effort and goes to great lengths (also always thinking of the best romantic spots to take him)

- Angel always end up falling asleep against Husk’s chest (especially when the purring starts 🤭)

- Post episode 4+ (hopefully gonna happen in S2) Husk lets Angel rest his legs over his lap

Credits to: @huskerdustfanart for giving me this idea

- Angel tries to teach Husk how to use his phone and what certain apps actually do 🤣 (much to his irritation of being able to use it)

- Husk doesn’t like other people sitting on the counter of his bar however will let Angel do it (which is saying a lot in itself 🤭)

Credits to: @triona-tribblescore for giving me this idea

- Angel often suggests Husk to give him a massage after he’s finished working (knowing full well he loves them) which the other always consents to and ends up sighing with absolute satisfaction 🥰

- Huskerdust actually met as humans (since their timeline is roughly within each other) but forgot they met by the time they arrived in Hell — what with being 12 years apart — and chose different names for themselves entirely

- Angel teaches himself how to read non verbals (by being around Husk so much 🤭) and roast people

- Husk loves Angel Dust’s New Yorker accent but enjoys his Italian one even more — even when he rambles in fluent Italian — because he likes to think that was his “real self”

- Huskerdust often do slow dancing together (like Sway with Me or the Tango)

- Despite being a bottom Angel will rarely suggest he becomes a top with Husk once he starts to see the other get slightly exhausted 🥰

- Husk takes care of Fat Nuggets for Angel Dust whilst he’s at work (bonus points if he ensures their “children” are safe and looks after them as well)

- Angel doesn’t like anyone else using the term “loser” (takes it as an insult) unless it’s Husk as if it’s one of those inside joke things

- Husk always gives Angel a piggy back ride when he’s either really drunk or emotionally exhausted after work

- Angel boasts to everyone that he’s in the one in “charge” (as a top) of his and Husk’s relationship 🤣

- Huskerdust would definitely be the type of couple to always be in their “honeymoon phase”

- When Angel gives cuddles to Husk he always gives him head scratches and rubs his ears (where cats like it the most in real life)

- Husk always gives Angel a “Sex On The Beach” cocktail ad an inside joke about their past relationship

- After work Angel always gets escorted at night by Husk (like the minute his shift ends 🥰) to protect him from both Valentino and any unsavoury people

- Husk puts music on and starts to dance around (ie dramatically impersonating Elvis Presley) just to make Angel Dust even if it meant he gets to mock him for it

- Angel loves everything about Husky (although he’d love him 10x more when he’s his usual grumpy self)

- Husk would be the type of dad to build stuff from scratch for his kids (besides Angel loves his men with a tool; so it’s a win-win situation 😜

Angel pulls a “Gloria” (from Modern Family ) when it comes to refusing to take his heels off — even when they start to hurt his feet

<> Which makes Husk — being the gentleman he is — go and buys something comfortable for him 🥹

youtube

- Husk buys a pink set of cards for Angel (so he can play against him for fun 🤭)

- Angel sneezes mouse-like (small and feminine) and Husky sneezes whale-like (large and loud)

- Husk gets ferally overprotective particularly when unsavoury comments are made about or to Angel 😏

#I can definitely see these happening 😂#headcanons are so fun to do!#hcs #also known as anthusker 🤭#constantly updating #hazbin hotel #huskerdust #Spotify

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sixofcrowdaydreams · 3 months

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Crows Fanfic AU Idea...

With all the Crows college fics that exist, we've been sleeping on the Crows Community AU. Hear me out...

Summary:

Six very different students share one very common goal: passing a stupid language class at the local community college. They form a study group, new unlikely friendships -- new romances -- and maybe, just maybe, figure out how to pass their class.

Details:

Nina speaks six languages already and the 101 class is so easy for her, why would she bother to switch for something harder? The others find out she’s fluent and beg for help. (Lol, not Kaz though. He doesn’t beg, nor need help. He just shows up to the study group because his class partner comes to the study group and he claims he wants Jesper to actually work so that they can both pass.)

Jesper needs help focusing, Wylan needs help reading and writing in a new language, Matthais struggles with pronunciation and speaking. Inej wants to make sure she's learning correctly. Kaz just uses the the time studying to complete his work.

Class partnerships are: Nina and Inej, Kaz and Jesper, and Wylan and Matthias. Their crappy community college may be a joke, but their motivations to succeed are very real.

Character/Plot:

Kaz: business major, needs the degree to keep his club legal and legally reputable. (It is most definitely not, and he uses it to help the other Crows.) Unofficial leader of the study group despite only speaking one language while everyone else is multilingual. Doesn’t actually need help studying, could do it himself, but there is a lot of group work in the class and he’ll never admit it, but he is entertained by the others and enjoys their company. Especially Inej because she's the only other sane member of the study group.

Inej: social work major, wants to fight for others rights and help the most vulnerable. Like most of the Crows, speaks another language, but it’s not the one being studied in class. Honest and sweet, she (and Jesper) are the emotional core of the group, given her ability to care about the Crows' well being more than studying.

Jesper: agricultural major, hates his major – is pretty sure he’s going to drop out because he doesn’t care about school, a bit of a slacker. Still incredibly smart when he applies himself. The Crows convince him to switch to a trade which is much better for him, now he just needs to tell his dad. (Yikes.) Immediately sleeps with Wylan and they both get awkward about it because they both thought the other wanted something casual, but they definitely don’t. Lets Wylan move in with him.

Nina: nursing major, is only going through the motions to get a degree because the one she already has doesn’t count because it didn’t transfer correctly when she emigrated, which is total bullshit in her very strong opinion. Speaks 6 languages and the group comes to her with help studying – actually in charge of the studying part of the study group. Shamelessly flirts with everyone and is driven crazy taking a relationship at Matthias’s pace.

Wylan: music major, homeless and stealthily living on campus because he technically doesn’t qualify for financial assistance (given his family’s wealth even though he has zero access to it). His father enrolled him in a community college instead of his family’s alma mater in order to embarrass him and expects him to flunk out. Wylan is determined to succeed. Works in the cafeteria, can speak class language very well, needs help with the reading/writing elements. Kaz forges some documents to get Wylan financial assistance and into campus housing. The Crows help him (and Jesper) get academic accommodations. Learns how to get help without being embarrassed.

Matthias: criminal justice major, arrested and released from jail, innocent and falsely accused, but having a difficult time getting back on his feet. He has a difficult time letting go of what happened to him and that it effects/limits his career opportunities. Hates how much he needs Nina’s help to pass the class, but he enjoys the one-on-one tutoring with her more than he wants to admit. He would rather slow down a relationship to court. Nina convinces him to let go of his anger and switch to a lit major, which makes him happier.

I want to read it so badly ... wait, what do you mean that I have to write it first?

#six of crows #fanfic #fic idea #kanej #wesper #helnik #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar

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