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emo-batboy · 6 months

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Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

#cryptid Bruce Wayne #college au #does this count if op is the au #fully nocturnal unhinged madman Bruce but make him like 17 and full of crippling separation anxiety and autism #bruce would rather die than inconvenience a professor but hE KNOWS HIS DINOSAURS #Dino class was my fav one in uni hands down #yes i am insane thank you for asking #originally this was just going to be a normal list but I kept taking from my own experience then said “fuck it I'm the captain now”#one of these was a lie tho...the murder wall was third year :/#battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #batman 2022 #the batman #battinson needs a hug #dc universe #gotham #autistic bruce wayne

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satureja13 · 2 months

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The Boys rode through the pouring rain across the Bridge over to Koh Sahpa. And the horses stopped by a stilt house. Jack: "Are we going to stay here? Woah! When I showed Ji Ho the beach after he arrived we saw a stilt house and we talked about how awesome they are and we asked Arturo if we can buy a lot here to build one..." Vlad: "Arturo told us. Kiyoshi, Jeb and I built it to make it up to you. It's not finished yet. You were only supposed to see it later. " (So that was their secret project!) So Kiyoshi built this house. For Jack. (Even Lunatic is stunned ^w^)

So Jeb built this house. For Saiwa. Sai had put all his hopes in that circuit board because he has no idea how he is supposed to look Jeb in the eyes again after they 'agreed' that Sai should give in to a fake relationship with Kiyoshi to bring him back from the tree. Because they thought Kiyoshi is Saiwa's fated mate. But he wasn't. Saiwa stared into nowhere... Before Sai could follow these thoughts further he got distracted by the noise of the singing birds. Why are they so loud? Bird... (They really are so loud here ö.Ö') He has no idea how to go on.

Vlad: "Look after them and try to finish the rest." (Yeah I know. Who would trust crazy Jack with looking after anyone? Usually he is the one they need to look after and care for. But Vlad trusts him. Because he knows the Jack behind his disorders and antics (and the ones who know adult Jack from our other stories know it too :3) And he knows that he can rely on him when it comes to it.) Jack: "You're leaving? What about the Bond?" Vlad: "Jeb and Kiyoshi need me. They are broken too. I will feel it when it's due to charge the Bond."

Jack: "When you feel it Ji Ho already suffers. He has the deeper connection to the Bond. Don't let him beg for it. The intervals are always the same when you don't use it's magic. Just come here in time and do it." Vlad: "Uhm. Ok." Vlad and his foolish pride and reluctance. Luci had been bolder... And Ji Ho often said that he doesn't mind physical intimacy with Vlad.

Then it was time for Vlad to leave - to look after Jeb and Kiyoshi... He is hesitating.

And Jack took Saiwa inside to give them time to get their stuff together. Oh my, after all they already did with each other they still behave like this...

Vlad: "The Bond. I will be back before..." Ji Ho: "Ok."

They held on to each other a bit longer than usual. Maybe the Bond hates it to see them apart or maybe they will miss each other. Who knows?

Vlad left and Ji Ho went inside. Ji Ho: "Oh. He's already sleeping. I hope he changes his mind about Tiny Can. I could really need some help from a therapist. Even if it's only an AI." Jack: "An AI is even better! He knows everything and is always up to date with the latest research and discoveries! He must have scanned countless articles, diagnoses, therapy approaches, research papers... I'm so ready to try it and get stuff fixed in my furry brain."

They sighed and turned around to take in the view. And just across the river there was the stilt house they had admired a few weeks ago. Just the one Kiyoshi, Vlad and Jeb built is so much more beautiful. Because they built it with love 💞

'There's a message in the wild And I'm sending you this signal tonight You don't know how desperate I've become And it looks like I'm losing this fight

In your world I have no meaning Though I'm trying hard to understand And it's my heart that's breaking Down this long distance line tonight

But I ain't missing you at all Since you've been gone away I ain't missing you No matter what I might say'

Missing You - John Waite Link above leads to the MV on youtube

From the Beginning ~ Underwater Love ~ Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

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lover-of-mine · 7 days

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I keep thinking about the Tommy leaving post and the Buddie being ready for each other post and I feel like there's a comparison I want to make here but I'm not sure exactly what it is but something about Tommy leaving because he was not down with that whole mess of date, understandably, but also Buck's boatload of issues still even tho Tommy came back & they're in this "maybe this could be the something I'm ready for" & potential issues that might crop up going forward like will Buck be hesitant still or dive headfirst or some combination, will Tommy feel like it's too much or just not working, will it be the thing that finally makes something click in Buck's head that he needs to go to therapy bc hey Tommy is different from his exes but the issues are still the same idk or he decides it's not working bc it's not the thing he wants but he's ready to figure that out so again therapy! but also when he realizes he's in love with Eddie & they could be it for each other he knows he doesn't want to make those same mistakes and the way to do that is to be honest with himself and Eddie and it's not perfect but they're both in it and self enough aware they know they can make it work together (therapy would be so good but also Maddie or Bobby have some wisdom here too) like a desperation almost of I love him and I want him and this is it for me but I'm so scared of losing it all and it's like well. What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna let yourself have this? I read a fic today where when they were discussing starting something but Buck was scared Eddie was like "we deserve to be happy too and being with you makes me happy" and that's all I want now okay sorry this is so long and probably makes no sense but I didn't know who to send it to I can stop rolling it all in my head over and over again send help or a sedative my god they make me feral and all these new ttpd edits are making it 10000x more

Okay, I see what you mean, and I am team Buck/Therapy first and foremost, but let's discuss Tommy outside the perfect queer Yoda people seem to have put him in. First of all, Tommy didn't come back, the energy that exists there is that there would be no second date if Buck didn't ask him for coffee (and Buck only called because Eddie told him to). I don't blame Tommy for walking away, the situation Buck put him in is shitty, but he did not come back, he indulged Buck in a coffee for whatever reason I don't understand. I don't understand why someone would agree to go to someone's sister's wedding after one kiss and half a date they walked out of. But what I'm getting from Tommy is that he's not gonna put up with Buck's bullshit just because he's cute. And Buck is diving in head first, asking someone to be your date to your sister's wedding after half a date where they left you on the curb when he's out to exactly 2 people is somehow crazier than buying furniture with Natalia, because at least there he had what? 3 successful dates under his belt? Buck is in the hamster wheel, this time with a guy. Dating a guy is bringing him clarity in some aspects of his life, but he is still showing the same patterns when it comes to dating. Will he break out of his pattern this time? Who the fuck knows. Realizing he's repeating these patterns and letting go before he gets in too deep, realizing he needs to work on himself, would be a major sign of growth from him, but Tommy pointing something out and making him take action works too, but I don't know what or how that could be approached. I was talking about this with someone last week, I'm pretty sure i sent them a voice note of like, 12 minutes on this, but do we trust Buck to separate the way he's infatuated from what he actually needs? That his bisexuality is his no matter what? Because I don't. If he's still that insecure about Eddie when Eddie has been stable in his life the whole time they've known each other, then I don't trust him with anything emotional, really. Could he wake up one day and realize maybe it was about Eddie, see what's in front of him and proceed to work through his insecurities? Sure, they could go there, especially with how intertwined Eddie is to bucktommy, make Buck realize his feelings, work through his insecurities somehow and realize he needs to talk to Eddie and that they will be okay no matter what. But the thing is, Eddie loves Buck too much. Like the post said, he loves Buck at his own detriment, so if Buck goes all weird on him for whatever reason again (which he probably would if he realizes he might be in love with Eddie, he would panic, 705 Buck would freak out if realized he's in love with Eddie) he's gonna internalize that, and that's something they need to address before there is any movement into making them romantic.

Because now that there's a real chance buddie is gonna go canon, they need to address some problems that were created between them, mainly the way they assume things about each other a lot instead of having an open conversation. All they need is an open conversation, I will accept if the show magically decides they can talk to each other now, that the issue was the denial, but Buck needs to ask for shit, he needs to talk when he's insecure, he needs to not let Eddie get away with assuming he's right, and Eddie needs to stop assuming he can read Buck's mind, he needs to call Buck out when he's getting in his head, and he needs to stop trying to fix past mistakes with someone else, they need to actually be able to address things that hurt them, because they will hurt each other, the question is how they work through the problems. Dating your best friend, even more after being best friends for this long comes with issues, the adjustment would be intense because they have an intense relationship already. And they both need to let go of the idealized version of what a relationship should look like they have. Can Tommy help Buck there? Yeah, absolutely, but he also shouldn't be expected to hold a grown man's hand through his own feelings, yk? Buck doesn't know what he wants and he's working through it, allegedly, so, like, there's potential there but I have no idea how this can unfold tbh. They need to get to the point where they're like "I deserve happiness" but also realizing that happiness doesn't look the way they think it does, that it's never gonna be perfect, but that it is worth fighting for, you don't find it, you make, works here too, but the thing is, you need to keep making it as long as you're together, love is not all it takes, the fight never stops. I've been thinking about this a lot too.

#yeah #i dont know dude #but i feel you #911 #911 speculation #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

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canonicallyobserving911 · 19 days

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First Wedding Planning & Preparation

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

FANON Future Buddie Fanfic Series

New Buddie Fanfic

Part 12 is now available on AO3: First Wedding Planning & Preparation - Buck and Eddie’s first planning and preparation for their wedding and honeymoon.

First Wedding Planning & Preparation

28.0K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

___________

Here's a snippet from one of Buck and Eddie's conversations.

___________

A few moments pass and Eddie says, “We accomplished a lot today with our wedding planning and preparation but there’s a whole lot more we need to do”.

“You’re right and I was thinking we could um… go to the loft in the morning after we clean the house then we can pack my clothes along with the stuff the junk removal company will take away. I can submit my immediate notice to vacate in the resident portal but I’ll still have to check the mailbox while we’re there. We should also order some invitations from the 24-hour office supply company so we can pick them up before we come home and we should go by Sheryl’s bakery to see if our wedding cake can be delivered. Also, on Monday we should uh… go to Bill and Sandra’s to discuss the ceremony and reception layouts that will be in their backyard. What do you think?”

“That sounds good and we can also schedule the junk removal company to be here Monday morning after we take Chris to school and after they pick up my bed, we should be able to make our 10:30AM appointment. Then I think we should hire a moving company to move your bed here so we won’t have to do it and after they leave, we can drive to Will Rogers State Beach then we can pick Chris up from school.”

“I like that but do you think we’ll be doing too much? I mean that’s a lot to accomplish in two days?”

Eddie shrugs his shoulders and replies, “Kind of but after Monday, we’ll be working a 36-hour shift from 10AM Tuesday until 10PM Wednesday so it’ll be better if we get the loft cleaned out as soon as possible. That way Thursday we’ll have time to pack our luggage for our trip, go back to Sandra’s and Bill’s to see what else, if anything they need us to help with because I’m thankful and grateful they’re doing this for us and I want to be there to help with whatever we can.”

“I agree so let’s schedule the junk removal appointments for Monday. The one for here will be in the morning and the one for the loft will be after we go to get our marriage license. We’ll schedule the moving company to get the bed out of the loft and have them bring it here. We’ll also create our wedding invitations online and request to see them when we pick them up. Once we complete all those tasks, we should probably get ready for bed since we’ll need to leave here early tomorrow morning. I’ll uh… cook breakfast and after we clean, we’ll get dressed and go to the loft. We can order lunch while we there if we don’t get finished early.”

Eddie smiles then says, “We’re tying up all the loose ends because we’re getting married in a few days my love”.

“We are and I can’t wait.”

“Me either.” He replies then he leans in and kisses Buck on the lips.

Will Buck and Eddie be able to plan everything and tie up all their loose ends before their wedding day?

____________

First Love Confession -Buck and Eddie share their first real and meaningful love confession.

First Date - Buck and Eddie go on their first date.

First Kiss - Buck and Eddie share their first kiss.

First Argument - Buck and Eddie have their first argument.

First Couples Therapy Session- Buck and Eddie go to their first couples therapy sessions.

First Time - Eddie and Buck make love for the first-time.

First Morning After - The night after Buck and Eddie make love for the first-time, they spend their first morning after together.

First Relationship Reveal - Buck and Eddie’s first relationship reveal.

First Mourning - Buck and Eddie experience their first mourning after a loss together.

First Marriage Proposal - Eddie and Buck’s first marriage proposal.

First Fiancé Introductions - Buck and Eddie’s first introductions as fiancés.

First Wedding Planning & Preparation - Buck and Eddie’s first planning and preparation for their wedding and honeymoon.

Part 13 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Their Firsts, At Last - 118K Words; Currently 8 completed works: A multi-part fanfic series about the romantic “firsts” Buck and Eddie share as they journey through life in an established relationship and their lives as a couple will include some of Buck’s individual “firsts” too. It’s filled with the FANON love, romance, fluff and domesticity their relationship should have been allowed to experience in CANON. The second part of the series title was adapted from the song “At Last” by Etta James.

This series of FANON future speculation fanfics is being written on a continuous timeline that begins with the start of season 7 (if it were to start in September 2023). Each part ends at a specific point in Buck and Eddie’s relationship so the next part can begin with the ending of the previous part. Therefore, parts 1-6 should be read prior to reading part 7 and the series will continue in that manner until it’s complete.

Parts 1 - 12 are available on AO3

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #ao3 fanfic #buddie fanfic #911 fanfic #911 on abc #911 abc #Fanonwriter2023 on AO3 #Their Firsts At Last-Buddie Fanfic Series #OTP

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ladykailitha · 11 months

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Star Child Part 12

Yeah...it’s really looking like this story is coming to a close. And I hate it. I love this story, but my muse has me careening toward the finish line like a star falling to earth. Far, far too quickly. If my muse had any sense at all, it would drag out the plot with Creel and the label, but it doesn’t want to. It wants the boys to be happy ever after NOW not in five weeks (as was the original ending with Corroded Coffin’s final concert in LA and Steve confessing his feelings on stage).

Also there is a cliffhanger but I have written most of the next chapter so Monday you should get the resolution. And just remember, I promised a happy ending.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Steve made a couple of calls himself. The first to Erica to make sure that being in litigation would prevent him from leaving the state. It didn’t, so his next call was to Jane. Between the two of them they crafted the perfect coming out plan. Complete with statements and interviews. His final phone call was to Robin.

“I’m giving you the heads up,” Steve said once she answered. “I’m going burn the label to the ground. Erica and Jane are all for it.”

“What made you decide to do it now?” she asked. “Instead of a week from now or even a month?”

“Because it’s better to be honest and open now,” he explained, pacing in his office, “then to have to do damage control. Let people know what I was forced into and how dangerous the music industry still is for the LGBTQ+ community. I’m tired of hiding, Robin.”

She sighed. “I know. I’m proud of you.”

“I almost came out at Love Loud...” he whispered into the phone.

There was silence on the line for a moment before Robin said, “Wow.”

He took a deep breath. “I got talked out of it by the record label. They told me to wait until after the last album was complete.”

“Something they thought was years off,” Robin said. “Those bastards!”

Steve hummed in agreement. “Pretty much.”

“You need me to come over?” she asked.

“No,” Steve murmured. “I’m going to fly out to Salt Lake City and do a couple of radio shows and be seen with Eddie.”

Robin huffed out a laugh. “And I can guess who’s idea that was.”

“Dustin is going to be insufferable,” he said with a sigh.

Robin cackled until Steve hung up the phone.

“In a released statement from Steve Harrington’s management and PR firm the pop star, formally of the boy band The Kings came out as bisexual. The statement went on to say that his parents and the label conspired to keep his attraction to men a secret, going as far as conversion therapy, threat of commitment to a mental institution, and even blackmail.

��Steve Harrington was seen at LAX this afternoon and our sources say that he went off to go into hiding until this all cools down. Further sources say that he is holed up in a hotel in Salt Lake City. Sources couldn’t confirm, however whether or not he was with Corroded Coffin who will be playing at the Vivint Arena tomorrow night to a sold out crowd.

We will keep you to date on all the latest news surrounding the sudden coming out of Steve Harrington...”

Eddie turned off the TV and turned to Steve. “That was quite the coming out story, sweetheart.”

Steve was with the band and their manager, Chrissy Cunningham in Eddie’s hotel suite.

“I just hope it gets the hounds of hell off my heels,” Steve murmured.

Chrissy pursed her lips. “I’m not sure I like this plan.”

Jeff nodded. “There are so many things that could go wrong, but if it goes right all of us will be able to sleep better at night, and you know it.”

Chrissy sighed. “I do like the guards outside the door, though. That’s a nice touch.”

Steve grinned. “Aren’t they fantastic?”

“We’re smuggling you out to LA,” Brian told her. “We don’t want you caught in the crossfire if this goes south.”

Chrissy’s eyes went wide.

“Which it won’t,” Eddie growled, glaring at Brian.

“You’ll be staying with my manager, Robin Buckley at my place,” Steve said. “Janice already has people there to protect you both if Creel decides he wants hostages.”

They all sobered up at that. Steve coming out was only a part of the puzzle and if all went well, they would have one creepy ass dude behind bars.

Steve had lunch with Eddie and they both made sure they had their location turned on so that they would be seen together.

“I think of all the parts of this plan I hate the most,” Steve said when he spotted the third paparazzo snapping their picture, “is that this is a setup. I wish it was something we were just out doing.”

Eddie’s heart ached even as the butterflies took off in his stomach.

“You telling me you want to go out with me, Stevie?”

Steve chewed his bottom lip and looked down shyly at his half eaten sandwich, “And if I did?”

Eddie cocked his head and smiled, “And were you just going ‘keep doing what you were doing and hope it was enough’, sweetheart?”

Steve blushed. “You caught me. It was about you all this time.”

Eddie lift Steve’s chin gently with a single finger. “I don’t do low key, babe. I’m very loud about who and what I like. I came up with the plan, because I wanted to be seen with you.”

Steve’s eyes went wide as Eddie pressed their lips together and he sighed into the kiss.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie murmured.

“For what?” Steve breathed out like a sigh.

Eddie kissed him again. “For not remembering our first kiss. For not running away with you when I had the chance.”

Steve brought his chair closer to Eddie’s to lean into the man’s shoulder. “I think I like it this way. Who knows what might have happened if we had, maybe we became a duo like the White Stripes or maybe would have struggled for years and never became anyone. But I do know that the Kings wouldn’t have been famous. Corroded Coffin wouldn’t have been a band. And I hate that thought.”

Eddie put his arms around Steve’s shoulder. “I love you so much. I think I always have. I just buried it deep. Twisted it until it was unrecognizable. But then you turned back up in my life and I wanted to write love songs about you in a week.”

Steve chuckled. “I’ve already written love songs about you.”

Eddie laughed. It wasn’t malicious or cruel, it was bright and clear. Like of course he did. “You record any of those sappy love songs about me?”

Steve pursed lips and looked up.

“Oh god,” Eddie said with a chuckle. “Can I guess which one? Unless there is more than one?”

Steve shook his head. “I think the label recognized it as being about a boy and carefully vetted each song before I could record it. It was then I realized I was never going to give them my best songs. Because all my best songs were always about you.”

Eddie blushed. “So it would have be off your first solo album...” Steve nodded. “Oh god...”

Steve laughed. “Yup.”

“Oh no,” Eddie moaned. “God that is super cheesy, darlin’.”

“Oh yeah,” Steve said.

“‘Drowning in Your Brown Eyes’, really?”

“In my defense I was eighteen when I wrote it, and just swapped out the pronouns when I went into the recording studio. But yeah, it’s about you, sunshine.”

“Are you going to tell people it’s about a boy?” Eddie asked, pressing his lips to the top of Steve’s head. “That it’s about me?”

Steve lifted his head. “Do you want me to? I mean it is pretty cheesy pop clap trap. I would rather write songs about you and then release it with the knowledge that it’s about you. With everyone knowing it’s about you.”

Eddie’s expression turned fond. “Okay, babe. We could write a duet. Like the Love Loud concert, only our song.”

“I did promise that I would let you write a song on my first non-pop album. I would be happy to have you, love.”

Eddie couldn’t resist pressing his lips to Steve’s. In that moment, everything faded away. The world in which cruel labels, psychopathic mob figures, and disappointing parents just vanished in the midst of their love.

They stumbled gleefully into Eddie’s hotel room, kissing and laughing at how happy they were now that they realized how much they love each other.

Someone cleared their throat and they froze. They turned slowly to see Henry Creel sitting in an arm chair. He was devastatingly beautiful as he always was. He wore a white suit with matching loafers and the jacket draped over his shoulders like a cape. The light blue button shirt was the exact color of his eyes. His blond hair flopped lazily over one eye.

Behind him were Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum.

“So you do only have two minions,” Eddie huffed. “Mike was right, you are stupid.”

Creel’s face twisted into a snarl. “I didn’t get to where I am by being dumb, Eddie.”

Eddie raised a questioning eyebrow.

“This room has been swept for electronic devices,” Creel continued. “So if you think that your precious federal officers are going to be coming to your rescue, do think again, won’t you?”

Steve looked him up and down. “Christ.”

Creel smirked. “Close enough. I get everything I want. And I want Eddie Munson.”

Steve scratched his cheek and cocked his head. “I don’t know if you realize this, but Eddie is a person, not a thing, not a possession. You can’t have him.”

Eddie took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I told you when we first met, I don’t heel. I’m not a lap dog. You can’t bring me to my knees.”

Creel stood up and he was eye to eye with Eddie. “I can and I will.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “My bandmates already know not to trust anything that didn’t come directly from my mouth, thanks to that little stunt in Austin.”

Creel’s answering smile was cruel. “You forget one small detail, Eddie dear.”

“What’s that?”

“You would do anything to not see him harmed,” Creel said with a smug grin.

“You’re threatening to what?” Steve asked, with an eye roll. “To kill me? Hurt me? Throw me back to the wolves who are my parents? Let the record label win, so I’m controlled forever? What could you do to me that I haven’t done or tried to do to myself?”

Eddie heart shattered. “Sweetheart...”

Steve lifted his chin. “I went through hell, Creel. You are just another demon barking at my heels.”

“Castor, Pollock, take Stevie here to the other room and kill him,” Creel said over his shoulder. “Make it look like suicide, won’t you?”

Steve closed his eyes as they grabbed him roughly. Eddie moved to stop them, but he felt sharp pain in his side. He looked down to see Creel was holding a switchblade to him.

“Please don’t move,” Creel said sweetly. “I would hate to get blood on this suit.”

“It’s okay, Eddie,” Steve murmured. “He hasn’t won.”

Eddie jaw began to quiver.

Steve stopped just before the door and turned around to face him. “Make him pay.”

Eddie nodded.

The door closed and a few moments later...

BANG!

***

Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

Tag List: @bejeweledbaby @eboyawstenn @moonshadows-13 @ohlook-afrog @goodolefashionedloverboi @linkydinky06 @livelaughlexa @spectrum-spectre @cutepumpkin4 @whatthemeepever @gleek4twd @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @novelnovella @celtrose-ish @artiststarme @plasticcrotches @failedstarsandgoldenclouds @anaibis @nelotegreitic @steddieassheg0es @abstractnaturaldisaster @scheodingers-muppet @tiny-enthusiast @yes-im-your-mom @thegingerrapunzel @milf-harrington @avacrebs @gregre369 @raisedbylibrarians @reverseteehee @lillys-weird-world @deadlydodos @runyousillydetective @justrandomfandomstm @piebook67 @clumsywriter @donttouchmycarrots @fiore-della-valle @idkareallyreallygoodname @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @imfinereallyy @ravenpainter @ellietheasexylibrarian @maya-custodios-dionach @child-of-cthulhu @estrellami-1 @lillithhellfire @nerdsconquerall @space-invading-pigeon @localgaydisaster @bookbinderbitch

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #rockstar au #song fic #ladykailtiha writes

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the-slasher-madame · 2 years

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Ok so I was reading your other headcanons about the slasher with an s/o who has powers and I was wondering if you could do the slashers with an s/o who’s super into witchcraft? Crystals, Spells, hex’s, working with deity’s etc. if not I totally understand!

Ohhhh I LOVE THIS!!! I'm trying to learn my witchcraft myself, and I'm really fond of my spell jars, so I'd give these fuckers like 12 and insist they carry every single one with them when they go out. As I said, I'm still learning, so if I get something wrong let me know!!! Onwards to crystalline glory!! (and I think I'm gonna try a new format mayhaps?? Tell me what y'all think or if it's easier to read)

Vincent Sinclair:

I think he'd want to learn too, he just seems like a really chill guy to me. I'm not sure this is a thing, but I think he'd like the idea of trying to look for atonement, but I also really like the headcanon that he doesn't fully understand exactly how fucked up what he's doing is, but on the third hand he's a smart man. So many headcanons <_>

Would try deity work to improve his art, I firmly believe this. He will go for every art-related deity he can find. And I don't know about y'all, but I love drawing stuff that's supposed to have this divine, godly energy to it, and I think he'd also be really in to that and take inspiration from any deities either of y'all work with

Shadow work. This man would like shadow work. I can feel it. (I think Bo would also appreciate it but we'll get to that later-). I think Vincent carries a lot of shame from his face and maybe even what he does, and ofc the goddamn abuse from Tr*dy and V*ctor (I swear to the GODS I will kill them both a second time myself). Anyways

I think any specific section that deals with healing the self and stuff like that is going to be attractive to him, cause he needs therapy but, pretty obviously, there are no therapists in Ambrose. He genuinely wants to improve himself, particularly after he meets you

He thinks crystals are pretty but he's not going to be as obsessed with them as you (me) are. Would give you any crystals he finds and would use a few, just not overboard like you (me).

I think he's a firm herb man. He can identify them and will take you around Ambrose and the surrounding nature areas on dates to gather herbs. Can find you just about anything. Will find you just anything (wait can I hex his parents??)

He loves your spell jars, he makes spell jars, y’all just about have a spell jar in every room in the house, hell in the town. I make small spell jar necklaces, and he would love love love those. Y’all make each other tons of small wearable jars, and it makes him feel really loved. He just really enjoys everything you do, especially when you do something for him, and he finds witchcraft helpful and fulfilling

Bo Sinclair:

Thinks it sounds a little silly when you first describe it. Witch? Isn't that for kids and Halloween?

Eventually gets it when he sees some of the rituals you do and the peace and comfort it brings you, and will not very subtly bring you supplies, like jars from his garage, herbs from around town, crystals

The crystals are like, particularly shiny gravel pieces he sees or sea glass or something, aggressive himbo tries his best

I think all three Sinclairs would be able to find and bring you plants, I think they spent a lot of time in the woods to escape their life/their parents

Would be iffy on the deity work, maybe think it's a load of shit cause when was a god ever there for him?

Along with that, I think he'd come around to deities eventually, but I also think he would maybe peek in on any work you do with self-healing. He wouldn't be into full-on witchcraft, but I think he has a tiny piece that wants that healing and love. Another man that needs therapy but doesn't have access, please somebody help this baby-

I think he would really like the idea of baneful magic, and would also wonder if you could hex dead people. . . (I really hate Tr*dy and V*ctor ok).

Overall, he may think it’s a little strange but if you like it, he likes it

(I forgot to mention for all three brothers you will have an endless supply of candles in every shade possible, maybe that’s obvious but I wanted to point it out).

Would let you put spell jars in his shop, in y’all’s room, and maybe even carry a small one with him (but he won’t admit it, or admit that it makes him feel loved that you made him a spell jar and want to use time and materials on him-).

Michael Myers:

Is also not going to really understand it, and may have some stereotypes based on his social experience (which is -0%).

Another one that will bring you crystals if he can find any, and also another one that deems shiny gravel to be crystals

He won’t know a whole lot about herbs, or anything really. I think he’s the type to eat things he shouldn’t, herbs included (he would eat road salt with me, I firmly believe it). You’d probably have to try to hid your herbs cause once you told him, “don’t eat that!!” he’s going to try harder to eat it. Mans is just a cat, does almost everything out of spite.

He’s not going to really buy in to it or join you in witchcraft. This man just doesn’t believe in a higher power, especially not a compassionate one. He’s been through too much to believe there’s anybody looking out for him, and he most definitely has believes that no god, particularly a loving one, would make someone like him. Goddamn it I want to love all these boys until they love themselves

I think he would believe himself more powerful than any deity, I mean he should be dead, but instead he’s killed so many, taken so many lives, he bows to no one

Would indulge one (1) of your spell jars. He would carry one (1) small one with him, but there’s a good chance he would lose it. I do think a part of him really appreciates that you made something for him, that you appeal to your religion to try and protect him even if he doesn’t believe in it like you do

Ok maybe he’s not like an atheist, well like he doesn’t really subscribe to higher powers, but I do think he’d be superstitious. Like he thinks rabbit feet are lucky, but maybe that he’s too powerful for anything to work on him. Will walk under a ladder because he thinks it’s supposed to give him bad luck, and thinks it’s funny/appropriate that it won’t work on him because he’s kinda like a supernatural entity himself

Does that make sense?? Like he believes in it, but thinks of himself as the exception because he’s been the exception to most things

Would ask you to hex Dr. Loomis, would bring you anything you needed, and you would want to do it (fuck Loomis 2022)

Thomas Hewitt:

He has to get used to it, cause I really believe he was raised in a somewhat conservative Christian household. He’d be nervous, worrying that his family would find out and get mad about it. There’s also that feeling of doing something he’s not supposed to, like when I first started practicing or thinking of Christianity in a less-than-positive way; that feeling of forbiddenness

I think you’d have to teach him about it and get him comfortable and show him you aren’t some... ok I’d say show him you aren’t a devil-worshipper but A) that just seems rude and 2) he eats people, he has no room to talk in this situation. But you show him it's more about reconnecting with nature and yourself, and something that just brings you comfort, and he can’t deny you. He really likes to hear you talk about the things you like and learn about them

After he gets used to it, he’ll help you. Like find you supplies, help you build an altar, stuff like that. Would help you plant a lil herb garden and give you any crystals he finds, I think he likes crystals too

This is a crafty man, he will sew you stuff, all the time. AND he’d include any sigils you have in pieces of clothing for you

Will fight Hoyt or Monty if they wanna try and pick on you. Tommy’s death glare is both hot and terrifying, it allllll depends on who it’s aimed at. I like the idea that he’s very close with Luda, and that she’s pretty accepting, so if he/y’all sat down and explained it all to her she’d be chill, maybe even join you on it. Definitely see her liking herbs and crystals too, and spell jars

Luda and Tommy would let you put up spell jars everywhere, and Luda would knock the shit out of Hoyt (or Monty) for fucking with them. Good ol’ frying pan treatment

I think Thomas might have a few extra masks, just for like when he wants to switch them up (and I firmly believe he is a sewing GOD). And he’d add very small crystals to some of them, maybe bless them

Overall he’d be similar to Vinny, wanting to join in on the craft. Will treasure every single spell jar you make him. He melts when he thinks about how you care enough to make him a spell jar. Makes you some in return, and loves how y’all have a couple in most rooms

asdjfksjdhfkjshfjhds he’s just a sweetheart and y’all love each other and do stuff together

He’d also be into stuff focusing on atonement and self-healing, absolutely, another one who needs therapy

Would beg you not to use baneful magic on Hoyt (but goddamn were you close to it).

I think he’d do a little deity work, but I dunno it just isn’t the vibe I personally get

Lester Sinclair:

himbo, that’s the most accurate descriptor of Lester in all situations

Golden retriever himbo

ANYWAYS, like a golden retriever, will bring you supplies like you told him to fetch (you did not, but he decided to anyways).

Very proud when he brings you crystals, and is ever more proud when they’re not pieces of gravel (he gets them confused sometimes, cause rock is rock)

LOVES that he’s a wilderness expert and can take you out looking for herbs. Like he is so excited that he can help you and spend time with you, and that y’all’s interests overlap a bit

I don’t think deity work would be his forte, but he totally supports you. Will help you set up an altar and everything, but I do think he’d like spell jars. Would help you make those too

Carries as many spell jars as possible, like he will try to have all 42 that you’ve made him on his person at once. And loves how they fit in to the aesthetic of his truck, like he hangs them from every available surface

BONES!!!!!!! will give you all the bones you want or need (I like bones from an aesthetic/goth/artist point of view). I think he’d make you jewelry out of the bones as like a thank-you for all the spell jar necklaces

He might ask you to jinx Bo if he’s being a little bitch, but doesn’t want anything bad, just to annoy his older brother for being an ass

Understands if you aren’t gonna do that, he has plenty of plans to screw with the twins (well, one specific twin).

I Firmly Believe that Lester Sinclair judges no one for things they like, he only judges people for being rude or bigoted or the likes. You like witchcraft? Cool, let him help you find plants and bones. Supports you in every single thing he can

If you find familiars (I’m not entirely sure how that works), or just find animals that are calling to you or come from a deity, he will happily adopt them. Like he’ll build them a lil place in the yard and find the right food for them

NO HE’D ABSOLUTELY PUT A SPELL JAR ON JONESY’S COLLAR

I blame Nymphie and Fang for my newfound love of one Lester Sinclair, he’s just a goddamn golden retriever himbo and that’s what I need in my life

HEY I hope y’all like it!!!!! As always, feel free to let me know if y’all want a part 2 with the rest of the slashers, love y’all <3333

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sm0lcatfish · 22 days

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witchcraft pris !! 2, 5, 12, 15 (gosh i wonder what the answer to this one is), 16, 22, for that character asl game :3

2 - favorite canon thing about this character? i think the story she was trying to make with the demkn turning out to be her sister is interesting (tho i never actually finished witchcraft). also i like how pris hits on like every woman she met

5 - what’s the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? tongues and teeth babeyyyy!!!! may be obvious why

12 - what’s a headcanon you have for this character? she is frayromantic bc i am frayromantic. PROJECTION BABEEYY THATS MY BLORBOOOO!!!!!!!!

15 - what’s your favorite ship for this character? prismarina x therapy!!!! jk prismarina doesn’t need therapy she needs toxic yuri /silly

16 - what’s your least favorite ship for this character? idk if i can ethically answer this one because the only things i remember with witchcraft is some stuff with shelby and then the el date and everything between pris and cleo. i don’t exactly know like.. what my least favorite ship would be?? i mean i’m not a fan of timeflow + pris x el (not in the sense that pris has two hands, more in the sense that cleo and el also get together. i just.. don’t really see it?)

22 - if you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? something you don't like? i always saw pris as someone who fakes it til they make it with their confidence (omg me fr), if she seems like genuinely confident then where is my pris what did you do to her (outside of situations she’s already comfortable in) also please give me just the tiniest bit of (maybe accidental) insults! let her not know how to talk good (omg just like me f-)

also i didn’t realize i could send u more than one i’m so sorry i failed u

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sarahjswift · 1 year

Text

Chapter 2 of my New Fanfic!

STILL working on a title...hopefully a song lyric from Taylor though! If you have any ideas, tell me in the comments!

I have about 4 chapter already written, so you should get them maybe every other day before uploads become farther apart :) as always, huge thanks to my Tumblr bestie @backtobl4ck

Warnings: Language, Light Smut 👀, Slight Mention of Self-Harm Word Count: 1.2k

This room was a piece of shit.

Aelin dumped her bag onto the floor and glanced around the room. It was so tiny that only a small hospital single bed fit in it. The floor had the same ugly carpet as that other room, and a tiny - barred - window sat above the bed frame. A tiny cactus rested on the windowsill in a desperate attempt to bring cheer to the room.

She collapsed on the bed, exhaustion clouding her vision. It had been a busy week, and she tried to recount it. Monday, the intervention. Aedion had been there, and that was it. That was everyone who cared about her, one fucking person, who happened to be her family member. Then Tuesday, Aedion sleeping over to “check on her” and researching help for her. Wednesday telling her about this place and packing. And now Thursday, here.

Aelin stared up at the ugly popcorn ceiling, thinking of her new home - the “Whitethorn Rehab Center”. It was a nice enough place, and its patrons seemed like good people. But they had all mixed together and Aelin didn’t remember any of them. Well, that wasn’t true. Her new therapist - she remembered him.

She hoped none of her surprise had shown on her face when she first saw him. He was easily the most handsome man she had ever seen, with soft brown skin and beautiful silver hair. Aelin thought of his jaw dropping eyes. They were green and seemed to be probing her entire being.

Once, she would have found him tempting. Once, she would have blushed to be in his presence. Once, she would have gotten his number and slowly seduced him until they were dating and obsessed with each other.

But all the desire and love had drained out of her 12 months and 4.5 days ago.

____

Aelin did nothing but nap until one of the nurses took her to eat dinner in a large cafeteria. Although the room was crowded with people, it was mostly silent except for some murmuring.

“You are going to sit with your therapy group,” the nurse said. She looked like a sweet woman, with dark brown skin and black curls. Her eyes were blue and soft, understanding. Her name tag read Eillia. “Go grab some food, hon. I’ll just be over in the corner.” She walked away to where a group of other nurses were standing.

Aelin watched her go before turning and sitting down at the table she had been shown. She wasn’t hungry - in fact, the smell of the food in the cafeteria made her nauseous. She hadn’t had an appetite in twelve months.

A woman she recognized from therapy - Lysandra - sized her up, her emerald-colored eyes darting up and down Aelin’s body. “Can I help you?” Aelin snapped, annoyed with the woman’s obvious distaste.

“I don’t know, can you?” Lysandra purred, her voice lilting and seductive. Aelin raised an eyebrow and snorted, shaking her head. “Okay then. Don’t pick fights you can’t win.”

A dart of fury went through Aelin, and she opened her mouth to protest before a man with carrot-colored hair cut in. “Ladies, let’s just eat. No need to make enemies on your first day!” He chuckled nervously, taking a bite of his macaroni and cheese.

“So Lucas, how long have you been here?” another woman asked him. She was soft-spoken, pretty and demure. Elide.

Aelin tuned them all out as they all began chatting. She didn’t have the time for mindless small talk. She wanted to scream, she wanted to flip the table over and shatter the windows. How could these people talk and laugh when the love of her life was gone forever, and she would never see him again?

Her breath was coming faster and faster, her chest heaving. She spotted Lucas’s knife on the table. Glancing around, Aelin swiped it, quickly stuffing it into her pocket.

For later. She’d need it for later.

______

The club was loud, and crowded, and way too hot. Rowan shoved through the mass of bodies, trying to make his way to the bar. He was already regretting coming with Lorcan, who had disappeared and was likely flirting with some woman somewhere. The haze of drunkenness swept through Rowan’s mind, blurring his senses. He wasn’t wasted, but he definitely wasn’t tipsy.

Finally, he reached the bar. The barmaid was a pretty woman with pale skin and red curling hair. She looked at Rowan, giving him a once-over, and her red lips curved into a smile. “How can I help you?” Her voice was raspy.

“A tequila shot, please,” Rowan answered. She turned and bent down a little too far, making sure Rowan saw the view. As she prepared his drink, she peered at him through her lashes. “What’s got you drinking alone? Where’s your girlfriend?”

“No girlfriend,” Rowan said roughly. “You?”

The barmaid shrugged. “Situationship.” Rowan nodded and took the shot. “I’m Remelle,” she said, leaning across the bar.

“Rowan.”

___

Thirty minutes later, they were making out against the club building. Remelle tasted like whiskey and cinnamon, and she smelled like a bar in the best way possible. Rowan was drunk and horny, and she was a perfect fix.

They stumbled toward the parking lot, Remelle laughing huskily as Rowan tripped on a rock. They reached Rowan’s car and locked themselves inside. Rowan pulled the backseat down and when he turned back to look at Remelle, she was only in her underthings. She grabbed Rowan’s shirt and tugged him to her, bringing her mouth to meet his.

He ran a possessive down her leg, which she curled around his waist. Remelle pulled his shirt off and let out breathless giggles at the sight of his top half. “What?” Rowan growled, kissing down her collarbone.

“So muscular, shit,” Remelle snorted. She let him lay her on the extended car seat and watched lazily as he kissed his way down, down….

After they were done, Remelle propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at Rowan. Her hair tickled his face, and he closed his eyes. She leaned down and kissed him roughly, biting his lip for good measure, before turning and beginning to pull her clothes back on.

“Sorry if I didn’t make it clear before, but I’m not looking for a relationship,” she informed him, buttoning up her black work shirt. “Just wanted some release. Stressed out from school and all.”

“I don’t want anything either. Just some quick bangs sometimes,” he replied, full of relief she felt that way too.

Remelle laughed and looked at him fondly. “I’m glad we’re on the same page. You’re hot.” Rowan snorted and rolled his eyes. Remelle took his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his. “My number is on the condom packet,” she breathed before walking out the car.

Rowan watched her go, the quick satisfaction of their actions leaving quickly, self-loathing sinking in. He was a therapist, for fuck’s sake. He was using the coping mechanisms of his patients, habits he’d said himself were toxic. Yet here he was, using other’s bodies for a quick distraction before his memories came back.

He got dressed, sent Lorcan a quick explanation text, and drove home, the alcohol wearing off. He got home at 1:23 am and didn’t even shower before sinking into his mattress, his unhappiness surrounding him like a cloud.

But one image stayed in his mind as he sank into sleep - a picture of beautiful blue eyes.

#throne of glass #fanfic #sarah j maas #rowaelin

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allsassnoclass · 2 months

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Say…two people break up, right? But Fate thinks that’s bullshit so it creates a time loop and the couple is forced to relive the day they broke up multiple times, in different alternate realities, until they kiss and make up. The universe’s version of couple’s therapy.

OH i read a pretty good buddie fic with a similar premise, found HERE for my 911 friends.

anyway!

On the 11th day, Michael runs.

He wakes up alone, of course. Ashton is an earlier riser, and Michael wouldn't want to stay in bed with him and the memories of the past 11 loops, either. The bunks on the bus are a tight fit on the best of days, but they're suffocating if you've just broken up and have to keep breaking up over and over and over again.

Michael checks the date on his phone, sees that it hasn't changed, and barricades himself in his bunk, covers pulled over his head and only offering grunts to anyone who checks on him.

The bus pulls to a stop at 12:43pm, just like it always does. Michael could time everything down to the second now, the comforting routine of tour made eerily exact by the loop. It means he knows exactly where he needs to be.

At 12:57pm, he exits the bus under the guise of unloading, turns left instead of right, and ducks into the first alley he can find before breaking into a sprint.

In the 11 loops they've taken, he hasn't been out to explore the city. It's easy to get lost, and it's equally easy to blend in to the crowds, head down and hat pulled low. No one is expecting to see Michael Clifford wandering around by himself, so no one does. He ducks into a coffee shop that looks somewhat interesting and nurses a mug in the back corner for a while, people-watching and steadfastly not making eye contact with anyone.

It takes 15 minutes for his phone to buzz, everyone too wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of unloading and setting up for soundcheck to notice that he's not where he's supposed to be.

It takes 20 minutes before someone calls, and another 5 after that for him to decide that he's still entirely too close to the venue and needs to keep moving.

Luke and Calum's name flash across his phone screen with equal enthusiasm, with the occasional call from someone else on the crew. Michael sends I'm fine to the band groupchat, but declines every call.

It takes 56 minutes and a trip to McDonalds before Ashton's name appears.

"What?" he answers, careful to keep his voice cool and level.

"You don't get to run away from this, you ass!" Ashton hisses. "Get back over here and play the fucking show like a mature adult!"

Right, because Ashton is the mature one.

"Why?" Michael asks.

"Because we have fans out here who have paid a lot of money to see us! We promised when we got together that we wouldn't let our shit impact the band or the fans!"

"They'll still be there tomorrow," Michael shrugs. "No one is going to remember this. I'm not impacting anything."

"It's impacting Luke and Calum right now!" Ashton says, sounding very close to exploding. Michael can perfectly picture him running a hand through his hair, jaw hard and eyebrows pinched in that one frown that he only ever brings out when Michael has seriously, catastrophically pissed him off.

"Tell them I needed some space after the breakup," Michael suggests, picking at his fries. They're getting cold, but Ashton hates when he chews while talking, even though he does it himself, the hypocrite.

"There hasn't been a breakup, dipshit! You never broke up with me this time!"

Michael hums.

"I think it's your turn, actually," he says.

"I fucking hate you," Ashton seethes, which. Duh. Obviously. That's probably at least half the reason they're in this mess. "Just-- Come back before Luke and Calum call the cops, okay?"

"No," Michael says. Ashton growls, actually growls at him. "At least it'd be something interesting to break up this monotonous hell we're in!"

"I hate you," Ashton repeats, landing just as hard the second time as the first. Michael tries to shake off the stabbing feeling in his heart and somehow misses Ashton hanging up in the process.

Michael eats a fry. It's cold and a little soggy.

He puts his head down on the beige, probably-filthy McDonald's table and desperately wishes for the day to end.

#my writing #mashton #anon #anyway. in this loop they're both in the anger portion of the grieving process #interesting concept to have them BOTH be aware of the loop! that's fun #i've always wanted to do a timeloop tour fic #i feel like the liminal repetitive nature of tour would interact with a loop in a really interesting way

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she-karev · 3 months

Text

Signs and Secrets

Age Rating: 12+

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

AN: Hey guys so I had to rearrange my posts which means deleting the first draft of this and reposting it. I'm still on the fence on whether I should change my fancast to Victoria Pedretti. Your opinion matters and the poll will be up for the next five days so if you haven't voted hurry and click!

Summary: Amber works at the clinic when a roller coaster crashed while her intern friends gossip and speculate over who she’s dating.

Words: 3781

After about 3 hours with Darcy we were able to confirm she had a badly bruised spine but not torn. We explained this to Darcy and her parents in the patient room where we moved her and fitted her with a spinal halo. Her dad is deaf and her mom is hearing and are by her side anxious over her diagnosis.

“The good news is that her spine is intact.” Andrew explains as Jerry interprets for them, “The MRI showed no visible injury and the exam went great. Her spinal cord is badly bruised though due to the stampede and she’ll need physical therapy to regain full function.”

“For how long?” The dad asks and Jerry interprets.

“We would need our chief of neuro Dr. Shepherd to confirm but all in all it looks like she’ll regain strength over the next few days and in a couple of weeks she should be back on her feet and ride that rollercoaster in no time.”

Darcy signs no, “At this point I’ll settle for a night in watching Netflix.”

“How long does she have to wear this thing on her head?” Her mom asks.

“Her spine is still healing from the bruises so we’re gonna keep her for observation over the next 7 days and if her spine continues to improve we should get it off at day 5.” I explain to them. The dad looks at us gratefully and signs as Jerry interprets.

“Thank you both so much. I can’t tell you how afraid I was thinking she wouldn’t be able to tell you what’s wrong and you wouldn’t understand but she got lucky to have two people who know sign like you.”

“Well actually it was all Dr. Karev.” Andrew explains causing me to feel flustered, “She noticed your daughter trying to communicate and thanks to her we were able to treat Darcy and let her know what was happening.”

“Thank you, Dr. Karev.” The mom says, “I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to have a doctor who learned my baby’s language.”

“Of course, I’m glad I could help.” I turn to Dr. DeLuca for further instructions.

“Right well I’m gonna check to see if Dr. Shepherd is available to look at Darcy’s films, Dr. Karev will be here to monitor.” DeLuca explains and the dad signs.

“Um he’s asking if they can go pick up their son from school so he can be here as well.” I interpret.

“Yeah sure we’ll take good care of Darcy you can go and the nurse will take you up when you come back.” The parents sign bye and love you to Darcy and leave the room. DeLuca clears his throat and turns to me, “Dr. Karev, I trust you can take care of Darcy.”

“Absolutely Dr. DeLuca you can count on me.” He nods and leaves the room. I readjust the halo when Dahlia walks in catching me off guard.

“Hey.” She walks in with a tablet, “The chief wanted me to check on the deaf teenager to make sure she’s being taken care of.”

“She’s good we’re good I know sign language so I was able to keep her from being restrained like a prisoner.” I explain as I look at the screws, “Now I am making sure the halo is put in place and Dr. DeLuca is out getting Dr. Shepherd for a consult.”

“Okay great, that’s great.”

Darcy asks me, “Who is she?”

“Oh right sorry.” I stand back and sign, “Darcy this is Dr. Qadri she’s here to check on you and make sure your okay.”

Darcy raises her eyebrow, “She’s here to make sure I don’t sue them for tying me down you mean?”

“Yeah.” I nod, “We are so sorry for that and I promise it felt necessary due to fear of causing paralysis and when I realized what was happening, I stopped them immediately.”

“I guess that’s what I get for going out and getting hurt.” Darcy says bitterly, “You know when your on a rollercoaster deaf it feels so much more scary. Although I guess it’s even more scary when you can’t hear a rollercoaster falling off the tracks. I bet it must have looked cool.”

I chuckle as Dahlia looks at her vitals and puts them on her tablet, “Well I wouldn’t know the closest to a roller coaster accident I got was Final Destination 3. And you know I was thinking about checking out the carnival this weekend but now I’m just gonna spend the night in.”

“Well, if you want a ride with your doctor boyfriend I suggest the Great Wheel.” I pause and look at her shocked by her speculation that DeLuca is my boyfriend, “It’s totally safe and it’s slow and intimate so you two can make out while overlooking the whole city.”

I chuckle nervously and Dahlia looks at me confused and I clear my throat. I turn to Darcy and sign without speaking so I don’t give anything away to Qadri, “What makes you think Dr. DeLuca is my boyfriend?”

Darcy narrows her eyes like it was so clear, “Oh please it is so obvious especially to me. Even when I was afraid, I wouldn’t walk I could notice the eyes you made at each other. It was like you were mentally undressing each other.”

I shake my head flustered and continue signing, “I don’t know where you get that idea, he and I are coworkers that’s all.”

Darcy grins amused, “I observe people closely because I have to and I learned to read body language as a result. The body language you two were showing was ‘I want to take your clothes off and take you right here and now’ I guess this is a secret and your afraid your friend will interpret me.”

I look to Qadri to see if she understands but she’s looking at her tablet and looks up at me confused, “What is it?”

I exhale in relief, “Nothing are you done with your notes?”

“Yeah, I should keep going God knows the chief is gonna get after me for slowing things down. See you later.”

Qadri leaves and I go back to conversing with Darcy, “You know you’re a lot smarter than my friends here and they have medical degree’s. They couldn’t figure out in two weeks what you figured out in two hours bravo.” I wave my hands to applaud her and she smiles proudly.

“Just so you know.” Darcy signs, “He is really cute.”

I grin cooly, “He is although he could keep it down with the staring for the next super observant deaf kid we treat.” Darcy grins, “And he’s not my boyfriend, we’re just having fun.”

Darcy grins mischievously, “He looks fun. Which means you should put a label on it before someone else comes along and takes him for a rollercoaster ride.”

I laugh at her innuendo just as DeLuca walks in with Shepherd, “Hey I see I made it in time for comedy hour, what are we joking about?”

I look at Andrew with a grin and respond, “Nothing just some funny youtube videos where the cat juggles a melon. Dr. Shepherd I already adjusted her halo and the nurses gave her a painkiller.”

Shepherd nods, “Okay let’s see what we got here.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After about 12 hours of suturing in the pit and treating burns, I lean against the brick wall of the tunnel sitting on the gurney next to Helm with Casey taking up most of the space and the others occupying the gurney next to us. Right after Dr. Grey won the Harper Avery award like we all predicted we went to the tunnel to rest and reminisce on our day. The six of us are exhausted and about ready to sleep the day away. I’m so tired I’m not even mad that most of them got to assist and I didn’t even Roy which would blow my top off if I wasn’t trying to keep my eyes open.

“This day was epic.” Casey says with tired joy.

“I’m so tired I can’t feel my teeth.” Schmitt says as he rubs his eyes.

“I almost stitched my finger to a person.” I chuckle at Helm who looks at me offended, “At least I saw an O.R. before you She-Karev what do you say to that?”

“I say.” I decide to sign so she won’t understand, “Next time I’ll hurt you just for the chance to fight over your surgery.” I grin at her confused face.

“What is that?” Helm asks.

“Yeah she speaks sign language.” Dahlia explains as she cricks her neck.

Helm scoffs, “Of course you do, is there anything you can’t do?”

“When I figure it out I’ll let you know.” I say smugly and they chuckle when Dr. Grey and Alex enter the tunnel carrying a champagne bottle and cups.

“Scram.” Grey tells us causing them to stand but I stay since I assume sister’s are allowed.

“Yeah you heard her, scram. This is our beach.” They all walk away and Alex turns to me and rains on my parade, “You too get out.”

I look at Alex taken back, “Wha-I’m your sister!”

Alex grins, “Exactly now scram.” I groan in annoyance but do what he says and catch up with the others who look at me amused.

“I guess baby sisters aren’t allowed in the adults table.” Roy makes fun causing me to punch him in the arm.

“Whatever it’s just champagne in a tunnel if I wanted a night like that I would’ve never left Manhattan.”

Casey yawns, “So how does Dahlia know you speak sign?”

“I had a young patient come in with a bruised spine she’s deaf and I was there. I took it as a language requirement in pre med. I figured I could use my hands for something other than saving lives and Roy! I know what your gonna say and if you make a quip about my hands being used for other things I will punch you.”

Roy scoffs amused, “Oh please you don’t have the balls.” I turn around fast and make a motion to punch him in the face causing him to squeal and back away as I grin at his reaction and continue walking. The others laugh at the scene.

“Remind me which one of us has balls?” I grin maliciously as we enter the locker room.

“So you sing, you know sign language and your related to Alex Karev.” Casey lists as I lay on the bench, “Why is it we know all these things about you and yet we don’t know who your sleeping with.”

I groan, “I thought you didn’t care Parker I was rooting for you to be less annoying than the rest of them.”

Casey shrugs, “That was this morning now I’m exhausted and interested is it Major Hunt?”

I chuckle at the irony. I saw the guy naked this morning and he’s not the one I’m sleeping with, “No because the guy is a freaking dinosaur and he’s my boss and I have self-respect.”

“Is it Avery?” Helm asks and I glare at her, “Oh come on don’t pretend you don’t find him hot we all do.”

“Then why don’t you get your freak on with him if you find him delicious?”

“He’s not my type.” Helm opens her locker, “Schmitt are you still convinced it’s Eddie?”

Qadri snorts and says under her breath, “Oh please you all are oblivious.”

They look at her confused over not hearing her, “What was that?” Helm asks causing Dahlia to realize she said something and stammers.

I stand up and go to my locker inputting my combo as she speaks, “U-Um you know my second cousin is deaf.” I freeze at the second set of numbers over this new information but continue to appear cool.

“Really?” Schmitt looks at her confused.

“Y-Yeah she bet me a new headscarf I could learn the language in one month.” I pale at this and take my water bottle out staying quiet, “I lost but I learned a few words especially the dirty ones those stuck out to me the most.”

I clear my throat after I take a sip of water, “That’s uh that’s interesting very interesting to learn right now.”

Dahlia grins knowingly, “Well there’s a lot of things we don’t know about each other but you know that better than anyone right She-Karev?” Her look confirms she was able to interpret mine and Darcy’s conversation and I keep a cool head.

“Are you working tonight?” I ask.

“Yep.” Dahlia confirms and I nod.

“Me too I guess I’ll see you out there.” I quickly leave the room without saying a word to anyone and wait outside the hall for Dahlia to come out and she did. I approach her and cut to the chase, “How much did you interpret?”

Dahlia smiles at my worry, “Which part? The part where she called DeLuca your boyfriend or the part where she could tell you guys were having mind sex in front of her? Because I got both of those if you want to know.”

I sigh in despair, “Great I could’ve taken Russian but no I decided to be of use for the deaf community.”

Dahlia smiles, “Well if it makes you feel better this blows my Lin Manuel Miranda theory out of the water. How did this happen? Was it a quickie in the on-call room or did you gaze at his sultry green eyes in the ER and decided to declare your love for him out in the rain with Ed Sheeran in the background.”

I roll my eyes, “Okay first you watch way too many Nancy Meyers movies second this happened a few months ago way before I even got hired and it has continued ever since and thirdly I will allow for one more question before scaring you into keeping silence so make it count.”

Dahlia thinks for a moment, “Is he good?” I chuckle at her, “Because he looks like he’d be good.”

“Okay my three orgasms a night are none of your business.”

Qadri’s eyes widen, “Three times?! You’re kidding or you miscounted that can’t be possible.”

I whisper, “The other night it was almost four.”

Qadri chuckles at my good fortune, “That man is a medical marvel.”

I sigh in lust, “He really is. Now for the intimidation if you-”

“Amber.” Qadri interrupts me, “You don’t have to worry, I promise I won’t tell anyone about you and DeLuca if you don’t want me to. It’s none of my business and it was just fun gossip this morning that’s all. I mean I’ve seen Gossip Girl I know how brutal it can be.”

I see that she’s genuine and decide to let her off the hook, “All right I guess I can trust you to keep this a secret.”

“I know it probably doesn’t mean much but in my opinion. It’s not as embarrassing as you think.” I raised an eyebrow at her, “It was shocking but then I got over it and it seemed normal. Except for the four orgasms that is just crazy.” I chuckled with her, “Honestly, it’s a lot more ethical than if you slept with Hunt or Avery. Their frogs and we’re egg masses yeah but DeLuca he’s a tadpole so it’s just one shift up the cycle. You have nothing to be ashamed of in my opinion.”

I exhale and look at her grateful for her advice, “People are already underestimating me as Karev’s baby sister I don’t want to give them more reason by opening my bedroom door. I mean guys get away with this but we don’t.”

“You’re preaching to the choir honey.” Qadri agrees, “Okay so I guess your secret is safe with me.”

“Thank you, Dahlia.” I say with a grin.

“So…I guess that makes us friends then.” Dahlia quips with a hopeful smile and I shake my head at her giddiness.

“Well see. Good night.” I turn to walk away from her and I see DeLuca by the nurse’s station rubbing his tired eyes but he sees me giving a grin and he grins too walking by my side.

He greets me in a doctor voice, “Dr. Karev.”

“Dr. DeLuca.” I respond with equal disinterest.

We stop outside the on-call room and he holds the door for me, “After you Dr. Karev.”

“Thank you, Dr. DeLuca.” As soon as he closes the door, we go at each other like animals.

I curl my fist around his wavy hair as we kiss and he picks me up and puts me on top of the drawer chest causing me to chuckle. I continue to kiss him and take his lab coat off; he does the same with my scrub top leaving me in my black bra. I run my hands under his shirt and pull it off quickly. We continue to explore each other with our lips and hands for several moments until I speak up at the worst possible time.

“I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you.” DeLuca pauses kissing the back of my ear and pulls back looking at me confused.

“Is there a reason you’re telling me this when I have you half naked on top of furniture?”

“Listen.” I straighten up and put my hands on his broad shoulders to steady myself, “People look at me and automatically assume I don’t work my way to success. They think I use my looks or amazing skills in bed just to get by, it’s been that way since I first hit puberty. It’s amplified more here because the second I walk into a patient room the family hopes I’m the nurse.” Andrew sighs and puts his hands on my hips listening albeit annoyed I cut our powwow short, “And I get how you don’t assume that but you know things about me that they don’t. You know I worked myself to death to get out of foster care and into state school with no help at all. You know I didn’t use my brother’s name to get an interview here but they don’t know that. I mean they’re gossiping about which attending I’m screwing for surgeries including Hunt which is ironic since I saw him naked this morning with your sister.”

Andrew groans in disgust and pulls his hands away from my body, “And the endorphin high is at a crashing stop thanks for that.” Andrew sighs and looks at me in sympathy, “I get that it’s demeaning to say the least that all those interns look at you and your DNA and assume that your…”

“A brainless slut?” Andrew looks at me in pity over how I described myself.

“No, you’re not and you shouldn’t let them get to you. I mean if they knew all the things you had to go through, they would eat their words over how wrong they were about you.” I look at him touched as he continues, “I mean you helped a deaf little girl tell us what was wrong with her. Your friends probably would have tightened her restraints more and not notice what was right there but you did and…that makes you way better than them in my opinion.”

I look at him in gratitude over how he compliments my bedside manner and I finish my statement, “I’m not embarrassed by you or shamed of you it’s just…what we have is private and I don’t want them to gawk or make fun of it. They would think I’m using you to get revenge for my brother and that you’re sleeping with me to spite Alex but they don’t know us. I don’t care about their opinions but I do care about the reputation I want to establish here.” Andrew looks at me attentively, “You have a different pedigree than me so you don’t know how addict parents and violent brothers can damage your image in the world at the age of 2. I went to private school on scholarship and…the guys assumed I was an easy project girl.” Andrew’s face shifts to pity, “All the girls hated me because I fitted my skirt more than them and they thought I was stealing their boyfriends when they saw me bump into them and…I swore I would never go through that again. I know it isn’t fair to you but it’s all about me not you I promise.”

“Amber that’s terrible.” Andrew brushes my hair back over my shoulder, “I didn’t know that and I was afraid it was because you were embarrassed of me but hearing your story, I get it now. I know how hard it is to get away from your past and make a name for yourself, it’s what I did with my dad and I see that in you too.” Andrew cradles my face in his hands and I look at him with affection, “If you don’t feel comfortable telling people about us, I’ll respect that I just…I just want to know I’m not another shameful secret of yours.”

I sigh and run my hands over his torso, “You’re not if anything you’re the best secret I have ever kept.” Andrew smiles and resumes kissing me this time it’s slow and sensual and he picks me up again putting me on the single bed. I lay under him and moan as he resumes kissing my collar bone and I stroke his back as we sink into each other. I groan and pull him back so I could ask him something else.

Andrew pulls back annoyingly and looks at me, “What is it?”

“Um…are we dating?” He looks at me surprised by my question, “It’s just that we never put a label on it and we’ve only gone out in public like twice so I just want to know if this is gonna die when you realize I am too much of a mess to handle or get tired of my sexpertise.”

Andrew grins at my joke and responds, “Well one I already knew straight off the bat you were gonna be a mess from how our first date went and I handled that spectacularly if you recall. Second I will never get tired of your sexpertise the three orgasms are evidence enough. And third yeah I like to think we are dating, is that the answer you were hoping for?”

I grin, “Yeah it actually was.” Andrew grins at me, “Okay no more interruptions I promise now come here.”

DeLuca exhales, “Thank god.” He kisses me and I moan in pleasure with us content in each other’s company.

#greys anatomy #amber karev #andrew deluca #elizabeth gillies #liz gillies #headcanon #deafawareness #deafpride #deafculture

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batfam-horror-au · 1 year

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So! I think I should give my thoughts on the finale as a newbie to the fandom. Just as a note, this is talking about all of the characters from the DSMP and not their creators.

1. C!Tommy does not deserve the clout he gets. He is an abused teenager who has been let down by literally every authority figure around him. He deserves so many hugs and so many mugs of hot chocolate.

2. I don’t think C!Tommy forgives C!Dream. At this point, I don’t think he can. What Dream did was horrific. He killed, tormented, and abused a literal child (Tommy is a child I will fight you on this) to the point where he nearly committed suicide. I just think at this point he was stalling for time. Maybe, just maybe, he sort of understood Dream’s end goal. But I also think that he saw just how twisted Dream was at this point and decided to just go along with whatever the man had to say. He just had to keep him there, I don’t think he was buddy-buddy with Dream at all.

3. Michael is going to be in season 2. I will riot if he isn’t. Or he is safe and alive with Phil and whoever else isn’t dead. He will see Tubbo and Ranboo again.

4. Screw C!Punz and C!Dream. You know what I mean.

5. C!Tubbo needs a lot of friggin therapy and I will happily give him the entire world. Same goes for C!Tommy and C!Ranboo.

6. Jack. Just- Jack. Why? Why would you break me this way?

7. I need to say this for those in the back, Tommy should never have been put in this situation.

8. Whoever gave Tubbo nukes we need to have a talk. Also, Tubbo, my friend, what the heck? I mean, I’m guessing he got them from his days being the president, but I’m not up to date on that info so I may be wrong? I mean, if he got them as a sense of security then I’m all for it. He deserves to feel safe. But. Buddy. That’s, uh, that’s a pretty large nuke you had there. I don’t know about your nuke, but typically the bigger your nuke is, the bigger the explosion is. I don’t think the SMP was going to survive even just one of them.

9. You know what, I really didn’t appreciate Dream and Punz going all Thanos philosophy on Tommy and Tubbo. They were all like “oh we revived all these people and we gotta kill all these people”. You know what would’ve kept all this from happening? Not bloody manipulating, killing, and reviving people. Have mercy it’s so easy all you have to do is not do it! Get a hobby, like knitting. Don’t go around screwing with life and death. Also you really don’t have to kill everyone. What’s the point of that anyway? I mean I get it if the egg had popped up because of revival shenanigans, but I think it was there before anyone was revived? Except maybe Sam, but I don’t know if Dream knows about that. But yeah, a lot of shaky logic there.

10. Where are all the non-psychotic adults during this? I’m being genuine here, where are they? Except Wilbur, who I know went off to Utah, where is everyone?

11. Not about the finale, but C!Schlatt deserved worse and that’s all I’m going to say on that for now.

12. Overall, I have come to the conclusion that Tubbo, Tommy, Michael, and Ranboo deserve the entire world and a lot of therapy. Dream and Punz deserve the nuke. Also Quackity is just really cool I like him.

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invisibleraven · 1 year

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12, rulie or peterpatterlina, bonus points if it's Reggie who is the one singing

"Reggie?"

He turned at the sound of his name, giving Luke and Julie a weak wave from his seat next to the window.

"Good to see you out of bed cariño," Julie commented, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Doctor says another week and you'll be cleared to come home as long as you keep up on your physiotherapy," Luke added, swooping in for a kiss to his other cheek. "We can't wait, the bed is too big without you."

Reggie grinned and signed I can't wait, the bed here is hard as a rock.

Luke and Julie exchanged a look at that then back to Reggie. "D-do you think you might wanna try talking again soon? Dr. Butler said you're making good headways in therapy," Luke said.

Not yet, Reggie signed, shaking his head. His hand flew to his throat, rubbing it tenderly. If I hadn't of been singing, paid more attention to the road...

"Hey, none of that," Julie said, catching his hands. "We've talked about this over and over. That other driver was drunk and there is nothing else you could have done to avoid the accident. We're just happy that it didn't end up any worse."

"We almost lost you Reg, and that is not your fault," Luke added. "So we'll take each day as it comes, and eventually you'll be back to your old self, voice and all. We're here for you every step of the way."

"No matter how long it takes," Julie reiterated.

And if it never does?

"Then we'll love you just the same," Luke promised.

Reggie had been back a few weeks, finally out of his casts and limping around. He still needed another surgery to get his leg fully healed, but for now he could hobble along with the help of a cane or one of them.

It was the silence that worried them.

Reggie was still going to therapy about the accident, and he assured them that he didn't blame himself any longer. But he barely spoke, and absolutely never sang. They tried to encourage him at every turn, but more often than not, he reverted to signing or using a whiteboard to communicate.

They voiced their concerns to Dr. Butler, but she told them it would take time for Reggie to fully recover. "He's traumatized by the incident. He might say he doesn't blame himself, but he's also worried that something bad will happen if he sings again. Just give him time."

So they did.

The band had taken a hiatus after the accident, letting Reggie rest, but they had worked together to write something new, since Reggie was fine playing music, even suggested some lyrics, but he still wasn't up to doing vocals.

"They're pushing us for a recording date," Julie said one day after getting off the phone.

"I mean we could do all the rest and leave his vocals until last?" Luke suggested. "Or see if he's okay with us releasing the songs without his backing track." But they knew neither option was fair and would only put more pressure on Reggie than he needed right now.

They slumped together in defeat, but then, from upstairs, they heard it-the soft raspy tenor they both loved. Eyes lighting up they rushed towards the stairs, then crept up, letting Reggie's voice ring out. It was a bi rusty and weak compared to before, but it was still his, singing one of his country songs with all the power and love he could muster.

Once the song was done, Julie wiped away a tear and Luke sniffled, the two of them sharing a smile. They went into the room where Reggie was sitting, staring out the window.

"Hey Reg," Luke said.

Hey you two, what's up?

"Oh it's nothing," Julie started, fiddling with her fingers, a gesture that she picked up from Reggie. "It's just. you used to sing when you're happy and the place has been so quiet for so long, and we heard you- never mind."

"You heard me?" croaked Reggie.

"Yeah, we did," Luke said, racing over to take Reggie's blushing face into his hands. "And you sounded just as beautiful as ever."

"Maybe even more so," Julie added. "We missed your voice."

"I missed it too," Reggie whispered. "But it hurt so much to sing for so long. I've been working with it at therapy with Pepper. Making sure that nothing bad would happen if I did."

"And did anything bad happen?" Luke asked.

"Bit of dehydration and strain to my throat from disuse," Reggie shrugged. "I dunno how much I'll be able to do for the album yet, but... I want to try."

"Whenever you're ready," Julie promised. "For now, how about I make you some tea and then the three of us can sing together?"

"You got a song in mind boss?" Luke asked.

"I think Home Is Where My Horse Is needs an encore," Julie replied.

Reggie grinned extra wide at that and fully voiced his approval.

#filled prompts #ficlet #peterpatterlina #rukebox #julie and the phantoms

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ryosei-hime · 1 year

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I got tagged by @ernmark

RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have WIPs.

(yeah I’m not doing that. I don’t even know that many people on tumblr. see it, feel free to consider yourself tagged.)

Strap yourselves in. I have so many wips because I keep starting things and not finishing them because of writer’s block. All Helluva Boss unless stated otherwise.

Fics I stopped after their last chapters first then individual documents.

Love and Loathing - Fizz learns self love through a Robo Fizz (Fizz x Ozzie x Robo Fizz)

Raising Hell - Loona x Sallie May

Murder of Mirth - a Stolitz AU I did a lot of research for to set it in the 1700s-ish but then never followed up on.

Stolitz AU - Hellhound Discussion - a short bit from Murder of Mirth

Crim x Reader - Pretty self explanatory.

Epilogue Chapter 13 - The second to last chapter to my longfic Sex and Therapy. I don’t tend to name them til they’re done.

Body Language of Abuse - A script for a video I had intended to make on the last episode but got too scared to post because I’m not a youtuber lol.

Epilogue Scraps - scraps from or for various chapters in Sex and Therapy. I actually have four or five of these, numbered appropriately.

Wedding Episode Scraps - bits and pieces of the final chapter of Sex and Therapy not yet put into a cohesive whole.

Road Trip - Lannah and Cog’s road trip to Greed to get a replacement part for Fizz in Sex and Therapy.

Robo Fizz x Everyone - a list of ships and synopses for a one shot project I’d like to do where I ship Robo Fizz with everyone.

Robo x Woobly - the first in that series.

Striker x Robo Fizz - the second in that series

Robo Fizz vs Wally Wackford - a fun idea for a pitch that didn’t end up happening when working on One Helluva Zine

Blitz and Loona Anniversary - Blitz trying too hard to celebrate the anniversary of adopting Loona

Untitled - started after episode 7, Loona finding Blitz when she comes home from her party at Tex’s

Striker x Stella: Cleans Up Good - Stella needs Striker to act as a body guard at a fancy event

Prompts - Angel x Blitz - a request from twitter that I started but didn’t finish.

Prompts - Lilith x Stella - Same

Fitzo Purring - posted what I had during Fitzo week but never finished it

Real or Not, People Love Me - was supposed to be a look at Robo Fizz and real Fizz experiencing what it’s like to be fake in two very different ways

Fizz Dating Sim - A Robo Fizz dating sim I started writing a million years ago that I’ve been thinking of going back to and adding a real Fizz option for.

Fizzarolli x Reader x Robo Fizz - this one’s been sitting undone a loooong time

Stage Sex - another Fizz x Reader that I started and never finished.

Biggest Fan - A degradation smut piece involving Fizz’s creepy fan from episode 7 that I had legitimately forgotten about

Fizzmodeus: Robo Fizz Origins - an idea I had for a fizzmodeus fic set during the time the Robo Fizzes were being conceived and built.

Fizzmodeus Museum Date - Fizz takes Ozzie to a children’s interactive science museum for a date, shenanigans ensue.

Baking - Fizz bakes Ozzie a Valentine’s surprise but it gets ruined

Fizz x Ozzie - Beauty and the Beast - An AU I started working on but stopped, inspired by art by pyronormal on twitter.

Krem - Fizzarozzie - Something I was writing for @/kremlin_art on twitter :P

Laugh, Laugh, Cry Chapter 3 - Continuation of a short chapter fic I had planned with Robo Fizz x Angel Dust

Unhealthy Obsession Chapter 12 - My Robo Fizz OC Ransom spending some time infiltrating Ozzie’s and Fizz’s

Ozzie and DumDum - a very short late birthday present for @/the_ratbus on twitter featuring DumDum (a robo fizz oc) being genuinely nice to Ozzie when he’s usually a rat bastard.

Mansplaining - Ransom asking Mammon lots of questions that he totally knows the answers to

Ransom vs Robo Con - Ransom is a guest speaker at a Robo Fizz convention. It all goes terribly wrong.

Greed - Angsty look at Mammon in Unhealthy Obsession, set soon after Fizz breaks up with him.

Hickies - Ransom learns what hickies are and wants them despite it being impossible for him to get them.

Dancing Lessons - Mammon teaches Ransom to dance

Kisses Experiment 2 - Ransom x Mammon. Ransom getting kisses all over

First Time - Ransom x Mammon. Not the first time they have sex but the first time Ransom has a certain reaction during lol.

Stolen Kiss - Ransom steals a kiss and Mammon “punishes” him for such impudence.

Sword and Shield Scraps - bits and pieces of writing ahead with my Hazbin OC story.

Scavenger and Val - A specific encounter between Valentino and my OC Scavenger in Sword and Shield.

Jo vs Scavenger - a fun fight scene I needed to practice because of some interesting mechanics between these two OCs.

#myfanfics #stuffididmyself

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jemmo · 9 months

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hey so i read your "rant" about seonwoo and younghee and, if you dont mind i want to give my 2 cents on the matter (feel free to ignore this) but with seonwoo i think this insecurity about what other's might think, and his people pleaser nature shows in how much he cares about hyungjoon and minseong having a date. im not saying he is malicious, but this nature which he has said "that's how i am and im not going to change that" is betraying him. and will hurt ppl and himself: you can't keep everyone happy without someone's feelings getting hurt. (trust me this is coming from a people pleaser who went to therapy) i agree seonwoo needs to start prioritizing his OWN feelings, whichever they might be and start giving closure to those he can't see himself in. like you said, younghee could handle rejection. hell he has been rejecetd by seonwoo multiple times already. well maybe not rejected, but ignored and not being seonwoo's priority.

now yeonghee...his age betrays him. a lot. many times. he is adorable and he has won over everyone's hearts, like they all dote on him bc he is the youngest. and he, in kind, responds with more youthful reactions which are normal from a 21 y/o. like nobody bats an eye when in ep1 while junseong and seonwoo are bickering palyfully while washing dishes, he just paces around to watch over them. but if it was seonwoo people would have noticed in a heartbeat. these behaviours of a 2years removed teenager, again, are "normal" for his age, but should not be directed at someone who is 12 years older, and who sees said behaviours like they are: juvenile reactions of a guy with a crush.

i love your take about seonwoo seeing younghee as projection of himself, who couldn't live his life as a queer man in his 20s. bc whenever he is with younghee (i think of when they come back that lil twirl thing he does before opening the door), seonwoo just lets his younger self heal, but that is not romance. when seonwoo is with seongho he appears more reliable, friendlier, fonder. still, i can't call it romance on account that their age up is still 9 years.

anyway these are my observations, i don't know if i missed the mark on some aspects. so id love your take on them

have an amazing day!!

first off, apologies for taking so long to reply to this ask, but I find it rather interesting, and frustrating, that so much of what you said here still stands true for seonwoo and yonghee despite it being weeks later. and now that he’s removed from the sungho and junsung situation, I think it’s interesting that he acts so differently around people that are his friends vs people he still has some kind of romantic connection to, like he has made progress and moved forward in his relationship to both sungho and junsung with the help of hindsight and has managed to realise a lot of the places where he fell short in his actions. but bc he refuses to resolve the situation with yonghee, he can’t get to that point where hindsight helps him see how he’s made mistakes and his actions have caused hurt.

what I think these two need is to enter a relationship where they aren’t thinking about things so seriously. seonwoo needs a relationship where he can be at ease and have fun and feel secure and like he doesn’t have to please, he just needs to relax, and I don’t think yonghee can give him that bc he is being so serious with his feelings, with the strength and passion of them, that it puts seonwoo on this pedestal, and he would do anything for him, which means that he can’t see or won’t call out any of his flaws, which someone needs to do. despite how hard and emotional it was, look at how deeply it affected minsung for hyungjun to call him out on something. I think seonwoo needs that, someone strong enough and that cares enough to say something to him with kindness and clarity. just look at how effective and rewarding it was for him to learn something from sungho and see a different side of himself. he needs someone to see him, and not glorify him like yonghee does, and in turn yonghee needs someone that he can be calm around, someone that tells him to tone it down, that he doesn’t need to be actively trying to sell himself and show his good sides and change for a relationship, bc at his age that’s not something he should be taught as the correct thing to be doing. like he is enough, he is so enough, and changing himself to earn someone’s affection not only doesn’t work, but isn’t something he should feel like he needs to do. he has this incorrect notion that doing all this and trying so hard is romantic, and it can be when the other person sees and appreciates it, and when it doesn’t come at the cost of losing yourself, but by not saying anything against it, seonwoo just lets yonghee continue to believe that this is a romantic thing to do, when he needs to be told straight. and this thing he has with yonghee reminding him of his first love and more generally of being young and having those youthful, strong romantic feelings, it’s almost like he doesn’t want to crush that, he wants to hold onto this memory of him falling in love that strongly and not hurt that part of him he sees in yonghee that would have to be so strong and brave to behave this way, he doesn’t want to crush it.

I just think the relationship they have is so interesting bc I do think there are feelings there, but the strength of them and where they come from is so unequal, it doesn’t feel like they’re engaging with who each other actually are, instead they see these ideals of romance in each other that they want to chase and hold onto. and I think the kindest thing I can say about both of them is that they deserve to find someone that loves and values them for the people they actually are

#this is not a seonwoo redepmtion post bc he hasn’t yet redeemed himself with yonghee #but it’s just been such an interesting watch over this series to understand them and learn about them more and more each ep #and your thoughts were so interesting on how yonghee’s actions aren’t inherently wrong there is nothing bad about them it doesn’t make him #a bad person bc he is at a place where he needs to learn and make mistakes #but this behaviour being directed at someone older esp someone like seonwoo means no one is giving him the response he needs to his feelings #that he can learn from and I can’t hate seonwoo for it bc he clearly has his own stuff to deal with but at what point do you need to see #past your own problems and realise what the other person needs and see you are in a place where you need to give it to them #it’s hard bc he didn’t ask for this yonghee has imparted this responsibility on him and there is pressure in that that I don’t think seonwoo #has a lot of courage to face esp in the face of how strong yonghee’s feelings are but in one way or another they need to untwist from each #other and stop depending on each other as a way to unleash their feelings #his man 2

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dari-ede · 1 year

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In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 25

Chapter 25: "어둠 내린 바다의 등대가"

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

AN: And it’s back! Thank you everyone for your patience. It’s been quite the 2 months. Hopefully, I’ll be able to come back to a regular weekly, or at least Bi-weekly, posting. Happy reading! 🥰

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Rating: M (mention of sexual assault, explicit language, sexual scenes in prior chapters)

Status: COMPLETE

Warnings/spoilers: Therapy

*******

“Sorry,” I said, wiping the tears that were coming down.

Walking through Dr. Rob’s door, I had the greatest confidence, but once I had sat down that confidence wavered. And when he had asked a total of one question and then my eyes turned into floodgates.

“How are you doing?” That had been the question. Such a simple one, but the answer wasn't. I was a mess.

I knew that I was going to end up crying sometime during our session, but I didn’t think it would be this early on.

Dr. Rob was quiet for a moment, allowing me to get through my emotions.

I apologized again once I settled.

“You slipped back,” he said, his eyes bore on me.

I stared back, feeling like he could see right into my pain. Dr. Rob had always been intuitive and read me well.

“I thought we kicked the habit of you apologizing for your emotions two years ago,” he said with observant eyes. “Took a lot of hard work.”

He was right. It was something I had worked hard on. I didn’t cry often, much less around other people. It was an automatic response: apologizing for my emotions. During my very first session with Dr. Rob years ago, I shed a few tears and I said those words to him. It became our first lesson: not apologizing for emotions. I was entitled to feel what I felt without judgment and apologies.

“I shouldn’t have stopped seeing you, huh?” I asked, voicing the disappointment I had in myself.

“You’re here now, that’s what’s important,” he pointed out, his voice softer. “I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty.”

I felt embarrassed about my tears and wiped them off. But right as I did it, I saw how silly it was to feel embarrassed. I had cried enough times in front of Dr. Rob; there was no reason why I should feel embarrassed by it. “You’re right, though. Old shit is coming up again. And affecting me in new ways. I don't know what's happening.”

He nodded, not saying a word. He was letting me lead the conversation however I wanted. At least for the time being.

I was quiet for a moment, thinking what the best way to beat around the bush was. “I started dating my best friend.”

Dr. Rob showed no reaction, his eyes focused fully on me.

I continued to give a quick summary of Namjoon and me getting together some months back. Said how we both agreed in taking things slow, but in the last month or so things had been picking up quickly. I talked about the night of our breakup: us having sex, me getting a late call from my mother that lead to a fight, which then lead to Namjoon and my breakup.

“He said he needs someone who’s more open. And someone who doesn’t give it up so easily. Those were his words. He needs someone he can respect.” I did my best to keep my voice steady. It was difficult to as his voice saying those words echoed in my head.

Dr. Rob frowned and leaned forward. “Do you think he meant he doesn’t respect you?”

I gave a slight shrug. “That’s what it sounded like.”

“What did he say exactly? What were the words he used?”

“He said he couldn’t be in a relationship where it was just about sex. He wants more. And that he couldn’t go back to being friends. He respects himself too much.” I was amazed at how I was able to let out the words without my voice shaking. It was stable and tears were coming down, but my voice stayed stable.

Dr. Rob looked at me quietly for a long moment, thinking. It took a good while before he spoke up. “Do you agree with him that it was just about sex?”

I paused for a moment and thought, as Dr. Rob had taught me to do a long time ago. I tended to speak before thinking. It was something I worked on during our past sessions. I thought back to the three months Namjoon and I had been together. We spent so much time with each other. Much of it was laughing and hanging out in different settings—dinner, museums, hiking. There had been some deep, meaningful conversations in between, but maybe not as many as we had when we were exclusively friends. In the last month of our relationship, sex did seem to be what we did often. “I can see how he saw it that way. In the last couple of weeks, we hardly left his room or mine. But it wasn’t always like that. We did more than just sex.”

“Why does it hurt so much when he said to you that you ‘gave it up easily’?” Dr. Rob asked.

I thought back to the many emotions that had been running through me. About the words and how they affected me. “I didn't think my sexual appetite was a problem. It’s not like I’ve had many sexual partners. I’m in my 30s and I can count on two hands how many guys I’ve slept with. But, with his words…I don’t know. Maybe I have been with too many guys? Maybe I am too sexual? Maybe I need to change my mindset on sex? Maybe…maybe I’m not over the assault and I’m using sex as a weapon? I don’t know.” I let out some of the many thoughts that had gone through my brain the last few nights.

Dr. Rob seemed to be in deep thought. It was almost like he had dozens of questions he had, but trying to decide which was the best one to ask first. “Being with him, did you ever think about the man who assaulted you?”

“Not while we were having sex. He would come up in my head at random times, especially since I've come back to LA.”

“Why do you think you’re thinking more of him since you came back?” he asked curiously.

My mother immediately came to mind. I told Dr. Rob about Thanksgiving and about my outburst confession regarding my assault. Then I explained in more detail what the fight between my mother and me over the phone was about.

“Do you think I’m not over my assault and it's somehow blocking me from Namjoon?” I asked straight up.

“Well, I don’t think you’ll ever be over your assault. That’s a journey that’ll always stay with you. You will hopefully move on from it. And then it might rise later in life and manifest into something else. Only time and life will tell. Do you think you’re over it? That it’s blocking you from Namjoon?”

I thought for a moment, remembering the year before Namjoon and I had gotten together. I had a brief sexual relationship with a guy in Seoul. It was nothing too serious—I never came to love him, but I was with him for several months. “I think it helped that I had another sexual partner before Namjoon. The assault definitely caused me to be physically closed off. Being with that other guy helped me regain my comfort in my own skin. Getting to the point of being ok with a guy touching me took a while.”

I remembered how broken I had been when I first visited Dr. Rob. I felt like my skin wasn’t mine. Jerry and I had only had sex a few times due to my inability to be ok with his touch. I had never told Jerry about the assault either, yet I don’t believe that it contributed to our breakup. It did, however, contribute to my lack of sexual appetite and self-esteem.

“I imagine if Namjoon had been my first partner after the fucker, things wouldn’t have gone so smoothly between us as far as sex goes,” I admitted after mulling it over.

“Before the night of the breakup, how were things in the bedroom between the two of you?”

“Great. We were quick to get in tune with one another. I thought it was going to take longer or things would get a bit awkward, but they never really did.”

“You always felt comfortable telling him your sexual needs? Did you ask him openly about his limits and wants?”

I nodded. “He always asks for my consent in everything we do—whether it's verbally or stopping and waiting until I give him a clear nod or clear vocal confirmation. There were a handful of times when we would be eating and I would ask him his preferences and where his line was. I asked when we were alone and sex was not about to take place. We made sure to have these talks when we were clear of mind.”

Dr. Rob nodded. “So, you had discussed anal sex ahead of time?”

I nodded. It felt much easier to talk about sex with someone other than my Tia Jia. “Namjoon doesn’t believe in safe words—to him a ‘no’ or ‘stop’ is more than enough.”

“Did you ever use the safe words—or rather, say ‘no’ or ‘stop’?”

It took a moment to think back. I wanted to be fully honest. “I don’t believe so.”

“Nothing with him felt like it was going over the line?”

I shook my head.

“What about him? Did he ever stop himself or you during an act?”

“Only when he thought I felt uncomfortable or wanted confirmation before he continued. Namjoon tends to be more hesitant, so I usually had him lead. I personally wouldn’t mind pushing the line a little more.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“We’re still so new. I have a few kinks and didn’t want to scare him off so quickly,” I said with a slight, nervous chuckle.

However, Dr. Rob didn’t find this to be a joke. “Do you fear your sexual preferences will scare him off?”

I shook my head instantly. “No! I was joking. My kinks aren’t that extreme. What I meant was that I wanted to ease into it and pace our relationship. Isn’t that how a relationship works? You slowly get to know each other and ease into one another’s lives?”

Dr. Rob simply looked at me, a slight frown deepening. He looked away and seemed to think about something.

I was confused by this look. “What?” I asked.

"You've been friends for so long. You considered him your best friend for close to two years when you got together. Don't you think that the pacing between the two of you wouldn't fall under 'normal' pacing?"

"Being a couple and being friends are two very different things," I countered. "How you are with your boyfriend isn't how you would be with your best friend. They're vastly different."

Dr. Rob was quiet for a while, pondering and thinking. I didn't want to push him, knowing how he worked. He usually asked a lot of questions first to get a feel of things and then he hit me with the jugular. After a long moment, he asked another question. “How do you guys get along? What’s the mood like when you guys hang out together?”

I wish I could go into Dr. Rob's mind and see what he was thinking. But I knew I had to wait. I hated waiting.

*****

Hours later, I was walking into my home feeling completely exhausted.

“Hi, sweetheart.” My Tia Jia greeted me and pulled me into a warm embrace.

She had informed me she was going to be coming over. Yoongi had finally decided to go out with his staff. I knew Tia Jia didn’t like the idea of leaving me alone, especially after my session with my therapist.

As she pulled away, she took my face in her hands and cradled it with love. “How was it?”

“Ok, but long.”

Tia Jia pulled away and motioned to the couch. We both went over to it and sat down. “What did you guys discuss?” she asked.

I pulled at my sleeves, tugging the material closer to my skin. “Mostly about Namjoon. That night in particular.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked carefully.

I shook my head. “Not at the moment. I feel so drained from it.”

Tia Jia reached over and rubbed my leg, comforting me. “When’s your next appointment?”

“Saturday.”

“This Saturday? Two days in one week?”

“Yeah.” I pulled my legs up, brought them to my chest, and placed my arms above my knees.

Tia Jia had nothing but concern written on her face.

“It sounds like a lot, but there was still so much to go over. We mostly talked about Namjoon and my relationship. The fucker who assaulted me was hardly brought up. I honestly just want to tackle that issue and figure out how he still has such power over me.”

Tia Jia let out a heavy sigh. “Well, just make sure to take plenty of water. It’s going to exhaust you.”

I nodded and lowered my head, pressing my mouth into the crease of my arm. The pressure eased me a little.

********

Days later, I found myself sitting in the same seat in front of Dr. Rob. This time, I didn’t cry when he asked how I was. I felt more at ease during the session.

“Would you disagree on anything?” Dr. Rob asked about my relationship with Namjoon 15 minutes into our session. The fucker who assaulted me still had not been mentioned, but it seemed as if the topic of Namjoon was going to be the main focus again.

“Doesn’t every couple?” I asked with a slight chuckle.

This time, Dr. Rob cracked a smile. “Obviously. But before the night of the breakup, what would you say your biggest disagreement was on?”

It didn’t take long to know the answer to this. “Being secretive with his team.”

“Did he want to tell his team about the two of you?”

I gave a nod.

“And you didn’t?”

I shook my head.

“Why not?”

I went on to describe to Dr. Rob how the culture was with idols in South Korea. How intrusive the media was. I was worried about the public finding out about us and it backfiring on Namjoon and the group.

“When you used this as an argument, how did Namjoon react?”

“He insisted his team would keep our secret. But I just didn’t want to run the risk.”

“But what about Namjoon? It is his life. Shouldn’t he have a say and decide whether he wants to risk his career or not?” Dr. Rob’s tone wasn’t harsh but it wasn’t gentle either.

“Of course. But what if it didn’t work out? Then he would have risked it for no reason,” I said defensively. “We were only together for three months. That’s way too soon.”

“Too soon?” he said, with a slight look of disbelief.

“Yes. Normally, people date for about six months before things get too serious. There’s progress in a relationship.”

“True, but who says it has to be six months for a couple to be considered serious?”

“No one takes a couple who's only been dating for three months seriously.”

“I know of some couples who were only together for six months when they tied the knot. And they’ve been together for more than two decades. I know another couple who moved in together after only dating a month and they’ve been together for eight years,” he countered.

“Well, they’re the exception, not the rule,” I said automatically.

Dr. Rob cracked a smile. “Are you quoting He’s Just Not That Into You?”

“Well, you did recommend the book to me years ago,” I said back.

He let out a chuckle. “I did. After you voiced to me that you were having a hard time knowing what was in a guy’s head and having trouble dating after you went to Korea.”

I nodded.

He waited a moment before asking his next question. “Do you think you’re a rule—not an exception?”

For a good while, I thought about my life. About never feeling special. Despite my musical talents and physical looks, I never felt exceptional. I had never felt treasured, other than with Tia Jia. But even with Tia Jia, I saw how she was with her two children and grandchildren and friends. She made everyone feel special. My brothers had always treated me like one of the boys growing up—normal, average. It was difficult to feel special when I had gone decades feeling so mediocre.

After I didn’t answer his question, he pressed with another. “Did Namjoon make you feel like the rule?” Dr. Rob asked, pulling me from my negative thoughts.

Memories of Namjoon’s and my first date popped into my head. The dinner he had made me. How he chanced walking next to me in Cheonggyecheon despite the crowd. Had I felt special? Yes. But then again, it was Namjoon. He knew people so well and knew how to make anyone feel special. It was his special power. “He knows how to make everyonefeel special. I don’t think I’m an exception.”

Dr. Rob thought for a good while again, deciphering my words. “So, if you think you can’t be his exception, do you want to be his rule?”

I frowned, not fully understanding.

Dr. Rob went on to clarify. “You might be considering this Rule Vs. Exception as if it's written law. When dating someone, in order for it to work, one must either be the Rule or the Exception. To you, because you have never thought of yourself as special or unique, you will never be someone’s exception. So, in order for your relationship with Namjoon to work, you have to see yourself as The Rule. And the Rule follows social rules in dating. There are progress steps: be together for six months in order to be considered serious in the eyes of society.”

I was left stunned. Was that how I was viewing myself in my relationship with Namjoon? “I never thought about it that way,” I admitted.

“One of the obstacles we didn’t get to fully tackle before was your self-worth and self-esteem when it came to your emotions. We focused mostly on your sexual assault and your prior relationships because those affected you the most during that time. I noted this during our sessions but it kept getting pushed back. I would really like to dive into it this time.”

“What do you mean by my self-worth and self-esteem with my emotions?” I asked, a bit confused.

“When it comes to your musical talents, you’re very sure of yourself. You have the biggest confidence on stage and when you’re in a board meeting about your career. The same can be said about your intellect. But for some reason, your emotions when it comes to personal relationships, they're a different story. I would really like to dig a little deeper into that.”

I thought about how I quickly apologized for crying the other day. I think I understood. My emotions were definitely not something I had full control over.

“We’ll circle to this later, but let’s go back to Namjoon and how the two of you disagreed. When you guys fought, how did you settle those fights?” Dr. Rob asked.

I thought carefully. “We never really get into huge fights—not counting the breakup. We had some disagreements, sure, but nothing too heavy.”

“You’ve never had a big fight?”

Doing my best, I searched my memories. “Well…” I said, suddenly remembering. “We had one years ago.”

“How did you resolve it?”

I thought long and hard and couldn’t remember. It happened such long ago.

Dr. Rob understood my silence. “Ok. Let’s take it from the top. What caused the fight?”

----------------

NOTES: Next chapter will all be a flashback.

MASTERLIST

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

#inthemiddleofthenight #rm smut #rm fanfic #rm x reader #rm x oc #bts fanfic #rm x maya #fluff and smut #friends to lovers #fluff #secret relationship #therapy #Spotify

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