Me seven years ago designing Mary O.'s wand: *scours Pottermore for all of JKR's stated canon on wandlore, researches wand woods and cores and all of their properties extensively in order to make sure it's as accurate to her personality as possible*

Me now designing my own wand: Okay so it's fuckin uhhhhh laurel because I'm Greek and phoenix feather because phoenixes are dope lmao

If you skip a meal Senshi will materialize next to you w/ food at the ready

Stayed gone but vox narrates his passive aggressive insecure ass scrolling text from the bottom of his broadcast 👊💥📺

no offence but the reason tumblr is “dying” is, well, yes, of course the cursed like/reblog ratio and the change in user behaviour (because of people being used to how instagram and tiktok work) BUT also the lack of weekly shows. i say it with my whole chest, they don't produce captivating and engaging stupid weekly tv shows anymore because streaming killed that so you have spikes of activity here when Something happens in general fandom or up to three days after a new season of whatever drops and then it's a wasteland. this is obviously an old woman yelling at a cloud missing supernatural and the vampire diaries and pretty little liars and all these other shows type of post but honestly give me back weekly tv shows where i have something to watch for 40 minutes almost every day of the week after work so then i can read and reblog it on tumblr give it back for the sake of my sanity

Justice League identity reveal where they don’t know who Batman is and one day a bunch of them walk in on him just casually eating yogurt in the cafeteria with his cowl off. A bunch of them recognize him, a couple don’t, and they’re all shocked.

Turns out Batman didn’t realize none of them knew who he was, since it had taken him all of ten minutes and three google searches to put everyone’s secret identities together and he just assumed they had all figured it out by this point. Or maybe he had meant to tell them and then just forgotten. Either way, he regularly interacts with half of them outside of hero stuff and hasn’t bothered with the whole separate persona thing with them in years. Shouldn’t they really have figured this out by now? So what if he forgot? This is clearly on them.

Little Gummi and his mummi

identity reveals are always fun

Bruce Wayne, sitting in a cute eco-friendly cafe while on a video call with Tim: Oh Noooo, are you sure there’s no way the board of directors will let us get rid of this old decrepit Wayne Factory building that is unsafe for our workers and also for the surrounding environment?

CEO Tim, with equal gravitas: No, I’m afraid they just won’t budge. It technically meets legal requirements on paper, and we can’t prove that the chemicals affecting the local ecosystem that have no other possible source are from the out-of-date drainage system… they’re saying it would cost too much to fix the place up too, which is ridiculous, because we’re us, but our hands are tied…

Bruce, full Brucie himbo mode: Oh I just feel so SAD for all the sweet fluffy animals and the pretty flowers and especially our hard workers dealing with such unsafe conditions… I think I’ll give them all a nice short vacation this weekend, so the ENTIRE PLACE will be EMPTY and SHUT DOWN from FRIDAY TO TUESDAY, the SECURITY SYSTEM WILL BE DOWN because it’s just so GLITCHY, I’m sure nothing will happen to the ENVIRONMENTAL STAIN ON OUR COMPANIES NAME THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY ABANDONED FROM FRIDAY TO TUESDAY- Timmy do you think I’m being too subtle?

Tim, snickering: no no you’re doing great Bruce I’m sure they’ve got it

Poison Ivy, on a date the next table over: ( ‘-‘)-☕️

Harley, through tears of repressed laughter: so… we doing anythin’ this weekend?

Husk and Alastor have a battle of wits, drinking, and jazz. AKA how I think Husk found out about Al’s situation.

Music: JK Sax’s cover of Tones and I “Dance Monkey”

I’m not a talented enough musician so I couldn’t make the music that was in my head lol but dance monkey fits pretty well.

Alastor: Husker, is that all you got? Hahaha, take another shot!

Husk: You ain’t on a sadist’s leash, you can’t know-it-all. Can’t know what I been through, if you ain’t at a beck and call!

Alastor: Ha! I win this spat with ease, looks like you’ve hit the wall. Cuz Jokes on you, I know that too, I know it all!

Husk: You…what?

Al: Perhaps, I’ve had too much to drink this time. Do yourself a favor, banish this night from your mind.

Husk: U-understood.

Al: Hm, good.

I have unwittingly witnessed a new level of the absurd. Behold, the AI-generated equine anatomy models.

Ah yes, my favourite parts of the equine body. Paster and... *looks at the smudged writing on hand* boob. At least this one looks purely decorative and the being actually looks like a horse. But don't worry, it gets worse.

If we completely ignore the hipopotamus musculature of this one, there's still a lot of things that don't make sense in this one, like a tail that ends in a series of bone spikes and a complete lack of molars. You could make a cool pokemon on the basis of this, but it's not even in the realm of being an actual anatomy help.

I'm firmly convinced this is not a horse, this is something that really, really wants you to think it is a horse. The more you look, the more things look... wrong. The more details turn out to be shifted, bones crammed in to fill in the familiar form, its shape merely implied so that the human mind fills the gap. Of course the text seems like gibberish, because its anatomy is incomprehensible. it's either a parasite or a monster and in each case, it's an eldtrich body horror. I'm kind of angry at how well this joke writes itself.

LOOOK, LOOK WHAT MY MOTHER MADE FROM CAKE. AAAAAAAAAA-

*sips tea* it's dumb crossovers time

I guess here King Arthur was a real dude who became legend after his death (in which demons and angels might have been involved). Our heroes now have a mystery to solve, with the help of a certain sorcerer.......

Part 1 >> Next

NEVER ask FNAF Vanny about her past…

Returning home

yeah

Alfred: Injury report?

26-year-old Bruce: All the blood is on the inside?

Alfred:

Some years down the road

Bruce: Injury report?

Tim: I left no DNA behind.

Cass: I can still beat the rest of you.

Jason: Haven’t died again.

Dick: No bones are visible from the outside.

Damian: I won.

Duke: I think I discovered a new power.

Steph: You’re not my dad.

Bruce:

Bruce:

Alfred: And how *is* Karma doing today, Master Bruce?