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#but whatever. I’ve said what I needed to say.
tayytayy12 · 22 hours
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From the start | LN4 x Reader
Summary - Reader and Lando have been best friends for years, but reader slowly develops feelings for him, and didn’t want to tell him in fear that he wouldn’t feel the same and it would ruin their friendship forever, so she releases a song indirectly telling him everything, not knowing he’d always felt the same.
Warnings - Swearing
Type - SMAU
FaceClaim - Laufey
Requested - yes - no
Yourusername
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Liked by - LandoNorris, GracieAbrams and 4,927,290 others - Posted 01.02.24
Yourusername - Studio sesh 😙
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User1 - OMG OMG OMG OMG
User2 - DOES THIS MEAN NEW MUSIC SOON ?!??!?
GracieAbrams - 💛
Yourusername - 🤍
User3 - She’s so adorable
User4 - Y/n I need whatever you made in that studio like right now pls
User5 - Oh Y/n I fear I can already tell you’ve ate
LandoNorris - HELLO WHY DIDNT I KNOW OF THIS ?
User6 - the first time she hasn’t told Lando something
Yourusername
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Liked by - LandoNorris, TaylorSwift and 5,100,104 others - Posted 20.02.24
Yourusername - Surprise !!!!!!! My brand new single, ‘from the start’ is out right now! Along with its music video, written and directed by yours truly 😙 this song is unlike anything I’ve ever released before, it’s a complete and true raw reflection of all of my emotions, and I hope you love it like I do. I love you, enjoy 🤍
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User7 - OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
User8 - KNEW Y/N ERA INCOMING
User9 - THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING WHAT
User10 - The music video is so fun and goofy but somehow so deep at the same time, I love it sm 😭
User11 - Y/N WHO IS THIS ABOUT
User12 - FR SAME
User13 - YES LIKE, WHOS GOT OUR GIRL WRITING WHOLE ASS LOVE CONFESSIONS
User14 - Literally my new favourite song
User15 - Okay this is so about Lando
User16 - Girl what ?😭
User17 - I see their point, the lyrics point to all things that they’ve said about their friendship
User18 - Like what? 😭
User19 - Like ‘Listening to you harp on 'bout some new soulmate "She's so perfect, " blah, blah, blah’ Y/n has said so many times that sometimes Lando just sits there and says everything about the new girl he’s talking too and it bores her to death, I’d say that’s good enough proof 😭
Y/n.Nation
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Liked by - User20, LandoNorris and 83,290 others - Posted - 23.02.24
Tagged | @/Yourusername
Y/n.Nation - Y/n was the guest on the Jimmy Fallon show last night !!!! She debuted from the start with its first ever live performance, then done her interview where she revealed that her new hit is about someone very very close and personal to her, her words were-
“From the start for me, is like a one of those letters that people write and throw into the fireplace just to get their emotions out there, but instead of writing a letter and throwing it into a fire I wrote a song and gave it to my fans. Which for me is kind of the same thing, they’re incredibly supportive and loving and I couldn’t be more grateful for them, every single one of them I love with my whole heart. This song is about something that I’ve been keeping to myself for maybe ten years now? Since I was still really young. God that makes me sound old, but it’s about someone I’ve known and been extremely close to since I was a child. And I think when you’re so close with someone, feelings like the one I’ve presented in the song can completely ruin a friendship if they’re unrequited, but the other day I decided it was time for me to ‘man up’ as my mum would say, and I went to the studio, I wrote and recorded the song and shot the video, and I just released it and I let my music do the talking. I’ve still not heard anything from the person I’ve aimed it too, so if I don’t get one I suppose that’s my answer to my ‘confession of love’ that I brought up at least seven times in the song.”
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User21 - Y/n told me she loves me
User22 - I’m crying this is so cute but a teeny bit sad at the same time
User23 - She actually lets us read her diary 🥲
User24 - Oh it’s so about lando 🥲
User25 - It’s so obvious I’m gonna cry
User26 - LANDO ANSWER HER RN
User27 - ‘Since I was really young’ she really has loved him from the start
User28 - Okay this relationship is a need now please
User29 - same it’s not even a joke anymore
User30 - Lando it’s in your hands now do the right thing
User31 - LANDO LIKED THAT HAS TO BE GOOD
LN.Updates
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Liked by - Yourusername, user32 and 89,191 others - Posted - 25.02.24
Tagged | @/LandoNorris
LN.Updates - Lando on a podcast recently!!! He never addresses Y/n by name, but I think we’d be right in assuming that’s who’s he’s talking about
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User33 - MY LANY/N HEART HAS BEEN GROWING THIS PAST WEEK
User34 - I need someone who looks at me the way Lando looks whenever Y/n is mentioned
User35 - WE ALL DO
User36 - HE FEELS THE SAME HE FEELS THE SAME
User37 - Y/N LIKED OMGGG
User38 - Gonna die
User39 - I need them together right now
User40 - All the Lany/n haters right now are hiding
User41 - As they should be
LandoNorris
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Liked by - Yourusername, OscarPiastri and 2,008,99 others - Posted - 22.04.24
Tagged | @/yourusername
LandoNorris - Just thinking of youuuuu 🤍🤍
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User42 - EVERYBODY WAKE UP LANY/N HAS BEEN CONFIRMED
User42 - SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
User43 - RIP ME
User44 - WHY THE FUCK DID IT TAKE YOU TWO MONTHS TO CONFIRM THIS
LandoNorris - We was in a funny mood, we’ve been together since the day after that podcast 🫠
User45 - SHUT THE FUCK UP
User46 - So, before the even confirmed their relationship, they’ve been on a boat trip, she’s been to races, AND they’ve gone to the beach while we all through that they wasn’t together
User47 - The from the start lyrcis 😩
Yourusername - That was a great coffee
LandoNorris - I made a cute hard launch post and you focus on the coffee you had over a month ago?
Yourusername - It was a really good coffee 🥲
LandoNorris - I’ll buy you more
Yourusername - I love youuu 🥲
LandoNorris - I love you more 🤍
User48 - I’m going to sleep on the highway
Yourusername
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Liked by - LandoNorris, GracieAbrams and 2,991,295 others - Posted 22.04.24
Tagged | @/LandoNorris
Yourusername - When I say from the start, I really mean it 🤍
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User49 - This is the kind of love I NEED.
LandoNorris - I love you, I always have
Yourusername - Funny, I could say that same thing. I love you so much more
LandoNorris - Impossible
User50 - This is why I wish my mum had a best friend with a son, cause this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
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apdreadful · 1 day
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I’ve decided that from here forward I’m writing Tommy and Buck/Evan as long term canon. In the words of Buck himself “Who cares?!”
I get the feeling that Tommy is difficult to get really angry. Mostly based on his past. And his general roll with the punches attitude thus far. So I don’t foresee a lot of strife or fighting in his future with Buck. Except the first time Tommy experiences the after of that big marshmallow Evan Buckley doing something really dangerous and reckless..again.
And Tommy who never gets angry, who never shouts at Buck, who flew a helicopter into a goddamn hurricane in the middle of the ocean, really loses his shit this time because Buck cannot understand why Tommy is so upset that he dropped into a dangerous situation against orders AGAIN.
Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose to keep from shouting “Bobby told you not to go in. He told you not to risk it. That the floors were too unstable”
“There could have been someone left” Buck replies “Someone needed to check. It had to be me”
“Why? Because you’re fucking super human? The great Buck Buckley from the 118 who scoffs at danger, has survived a tsunami, getting trapped beneath a fire truck, throwing a blood clot, and was officially dead for three minutes after getting struck by FUCKING LIGHTNING!”
“How do you know about all of that?”
“That isn’t what matters”
“I think it is” Buck takes a step toward Tommy “Have you been stalking me babe?”
Noticing the mischievous smile Tommy shakes his head “Oh no no no. You are not going to adorable your way out of this”
Bucks shoulders sag and he sighs “I’m ok Tommy. Not even a scratch”
“I can see that” Tommy lets out a deep exhale “I understand the risks of the job. I’m not like your exes who would get all distraught over you removing a cat from a tree. But for fucks sake, you are worse than the EOD guys when I was in Afghanistan with the walking - or in your case running or jumping- right into the worst case scenario with no thought of your own safety” Rubbing his forehead he continues “Evan. You’ve got a savior complex and it’s noble and selfless..”
Buck cuts him off “It’s not a savior complex. I’m not stupid. I understand that sometimes no matter what you do you can’t save them. But sometimes maybe you can, and in those cases, I just make the most sense”
Tommy crosses his arms to keep from strangling him or kissing him stupid again to shut him up “How is that? How does you possibly dying make any sense?”
“They all have people that need them. They all have someone they belong to and..” he trails off with a small shrug
And Tommy hears the words he doesn’t say. He is…expendable. And just like that all of the anger drains out of Tommy to be replaced by a something else. “Evan” he says softly.
“I know” Buck interjects “I know that people love me and they would be sad, especially Maddie. And I don’t want to die. But I don’t want someone who has someone they need, and that needs them, to die either. I couldn’t live with that”
Tommy closes his eyes. This man..How can he be so adorable and selfless, yet so completely stubborn and a pain in the ass about his own safety?
Once he calms his thoughts and finds the words he wants to say, he opens his eyes to see Evan looking at him calmly. Like he expects Tommy to see the sense in what he said.
“Evan. I know we haven’t really put a label on this. On us. But that’s because I don’t want to pressure you. I’m the first man you’ve been with and you’re still figuring out who you are, and I understand that. But let me clarify something for you. I need you to come back to me. Ok?”
Buck blinks “Huh”
“I need you to come back to me” he repeats “Like Bobby needs Athena, and Karen needs Hen, and yes like Maddie needs Chimney.
“And Jee-un. Jee-yun needs her dad”
“Yes, and in that same vein, Christopher needs Eddie” he agrees, trying not to give in to his exasperation. “I need you. I am that person who needs you to come home Evan”
Evan stops whatever he was about to say. Startled awareness creeping into his eyes..Tommy sees a mix of emotions flit across his face. Surprise, joy, fear, everything just races across that expressive face and then Evan sinks onto the barstool at his kitchen island. His hands coming up to cover his face.
Tommy’s stomach clench’s. He pushed too hard, too soon “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I do care and want you to come home but..”
Buck looks up at him “Don’t you dare take that back”
“I’m not taking it back. I just don’t want to push you”
Something else crosses Evans face at that..but he tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth. “You aren’t pushing. You aren’t pressuring me. I am in this just as much as you. I just don’t know how to say what I want to say without it sounding lame and emo as shit”
“Did you just hear me? You can say anything to me Evan. Whatever it is”
Buck rolls his bottom lip between his teeth again. “I’ve never questioned why I do this…I mean it’s the whole reason I was born. To save my brother. To save Daniel. That’s what I do, that’s who I am. It’s why I became a firefighter. To be the one who saves people. The 118 is my family. And I would do anything to protect them from harm”
“I’m not asking you to stop. I would never ask that. I just want to remind you that you matter to a lot of people, and you also have someone who is waiting for you”
Bucks voice is thick “I know that. I get that. But…Nobody has ever. I have never belonged to anyone, like that”
In a sense of deja vu Tommy closes the short distance to Buck. Tipping his face up, he kisses him. Not soft and gentle like their first kiss in this kitchen. But bold and deep. Branding Evan with his mouth. Pulling back he says fiercely “You belong to me like that. For as long as you want..you belong to me and I belong to you, like that”
“I will ALWAYS need you to come back to me Evan”
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gay-dorito-dust · 5 hours
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How do you think Argenti, Gepard, Dan Heng, Blade, and Dr. Ratio would react to finding their lover crying about how beautiful they are?
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Argenti would be honoured that you found him of beauty equal to that of your own.
Truly he was because he was the type to believe that it took true beauty to recognise beauty in all its other forms.
He would hold your face in his hands and try to calm you down with some sweet nothings and kisses as his thumbs wipe away your tears.
‘My beloved rose,’ he’d begin, ‘to be viewed as beautiful by your eyes is an incomparable experience and I am blessed that you think so highly of me because to me, you might as well have been the originator of beauty itself as you make even the most mundane chore beautiful.’ He pushes his forehead against yours, brushing his nose against yours. ‘I am so honoured to be viewed as such in your eyes. I shall Cherish this eternally.’ He finishes as he then proceeds to kiss under your eyes, your eyelids and finally down your tear streaked cheeks gingerly as though you were going to break.
Argenti just spends the rest of the day proving just how beautiful you are in his eyes as repayment afterwards.
You’d probably had to hold onto him and tell him that he doesn’t have to repay you for speaking your truth, but Argenti was adamant in repaying you for doing so and if that meant spending eternity wait in on you hand and foot then Argenti would gladly do so.
Gepard originally thinks that something was wrong when he caught you tearing up and was about to use whatever he needed to resolve the issue, only for you to tell him how beautiful you thought he was.
Now he’s sporting a cherry red face and was at a loss for words.
He was use to people singing his achievements despite thinking that he could do so much more but getting a compliment in general that wasn’t tied to anything he’s done was enough to have the second oldest Landau a little speechless.
‘Really?’ He would ask sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head. ‘I mean I wouldn’t think so but that doesn’t mean I’m within my right to tell you whatever you think of me is right or wrong, it’s just something I’ve got to get used to to in due time.’ He adds as he then grasps your hands in his and squeeze them.
‘But I thank you for thinking so highly of me that isn’t in regard to the things I’ve accomplished and more so on me just being…well me, even if I do fail at keeping our plants alive…but still I’m glad that you’ve stayed by my side for as long as you have. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you.’ Gepard finishes his statement off by kissing your forehead, down the slope of your nose and finally a sweet and gentle peck to the lips.
Dan Heng
He was quick to come to your aid upon seeing you crying, but the moment you tell him that the reason why was because you thought he was beautiful.
He didn’t hole much of an option about himself but he certainly didn’t think he was beautiful, average maybe, but not once did he ever look himself in the mirror and saw beauty staring back at him. He just saw Dan Heng of the Astral Express, nothing more, nothing less.
So for you to see beauty in him wasn’t something he was prepared for as his eyes widened a tad and his breath caught in his throat before looking away to scratch the tip of his nose out of habit.
‘You truly have a unique way with words don’t you?’ He’d say to himself as he smiles softly to himself, glad that nothing horrible had happened when his back was turned, you genuinely had him going for a bit there and he was more then glad to be wrong on this occasion.
He’ll hold your compliment close to his chest in hopes of absorbing it and committing it to memory, guarding it as though it were a priceless treasure he could not be separated from. He often didn’t think himself as someone special, but the way you spoke about how beautiful he was while crying made him want to appreciate everything you have ever said about him in the past in a remotely positive light. He didn’t know he needed it until you came along to shower him in love for just existing.
Blade is more of an ‘actions speak louder then words’ type of guy.
So he wouldn’t exactly be moved to bits when you tell him how beautiful he is because he knew what his body looked like, he also knew that you knew what his body looked like, so he often wondered where or not you were seeing the same thing as he was.
So unless you were holding his arms, admiring his scars and or tracing/kissing them with adoration like you were doing now, then he wasn’t going to be less to easily believing in words alone.
‘I’m far from it.’ He’d reply but felt the walls he’s built inside weaken the moment you pressed a soft kiss to one of the more larger scars across his inner forearm. A simple act made from genuine affection that shouldn’t have made as much of an effect on Blade it did.
The feeling of vulnerability wasn’t one he welcomed that often but when he does it was more or less only within your presence. In those moments you could tell him anything and he would be lead by the smallest spark to believe in it, including telling him he’s beautiful as you combed your fingers through his hair with tears still blurring your vision.
He’d brush your tears away with calloused finger pads and wordlessly bring you in close to his body, leaching off of your warmth and allowed you to borrow your head into the crook of his neck, and just keep you there as his own special way of saying thank you for seeing beauty within a monster.
Ratio
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or however that saying goes.
Veritas didn’t pride himself on his how conventionally attractive he was but more so on his intellect and extensive wealth of knowledge.
So when he caught you crying over how apparently beautiful he was, Veritas would want to naturally disagree with this statement but due to the fact that you were in a highly emotional state, he just bites his tongue and calmly walks over to you, kneels next to you and pulls out a handkerchief and start gingerly wiping away your tears.
‘I appreciate the heartfelt compliment but I do not think that it is worth your tears.’ He would then say afterwards as he coddles you into his side, making sure you could feel his appreciation for your ability to care for such things in life, seeing as how he was too transfixed on the much bigger, more complex paradoxes of life. ‘And don’t rub your eyes so hard when wiping away your tears, you’re only hurting yourself when you do that.’ He adds fussily but it never fails to make you smile and laugh at how much he cared about you in his own way.
He doesn’t stop mid work to smell the flowers but you did and he knew how even the smallest, minuet things could mean so much to someone, even if he didn’t understand the reason as to why, but he can learn to accept that what you found worth praising and what he found worth praising were two completely separate things and that was okay.
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mellowsadistic · 24 hours
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The Flower Girl - Part 1
Grace is getting married and she’s determined not to let Jessica, her husband-to-be’s ex, ruin the wedding. But if this is her big day, why is she being dressed as the flower girl?
***
Grace was walking around the reception, greeting her guests, when she spotted her out of the corner of her eye. Jessica. Grace had invited her out of politeness, but she’d really hoped the woman wouldn’t come. What was she thinking, turning up here? Surely she’d known Grace hadn’t really wanted her to be at her wedding!
She was talking with Sophie, one of Grace’s old schoolfriends, and Sophie seemed to be listening raptly to whatever it was she was saying.
Grace continued to wander around, accepting congratulations and beaming at everyone, tossing her beautiful blonde hair behind her and feeling like the prettiest woman in the room. Eventually she reached Sophie herself.
“Hi, Sophie!” she said. “I’m so glad you could make it!”
“Hi sweetie!” Sophie said, turning to look at her. She spoke in an oddly high-pitched, overly-enthusiastic voice, like she was talking to a nursery-schooler. “Are you looking forward to the ceremony?”
Grace didn’t know what to say. She’d been expecting Sophie to say ‘congratulations’. Why the hell was she talking in such a stupid way? “Uh, yes!” she managed, deciding it was best to just ignore her friend’s odd behaviour. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long! I hope it’s everything I imagined!”
“Awww!” Sophie cooed. Grace felt herself going red. Was Sophie mocking her? “That’s so cute! Are you going to wear a pretty dress, honey?”
“Uh, yes of course. I… In fact, I’d better go and get dressed now. It takes a while and I need my bridesmaids to help.”
“Of course you do,” Sophie said patronisingly.
“Well… See you later, Sophie!”
“Bye-bye, cutie!” Sophie waved.
Grace turned and walked away. What was that about?! She frowned, thinking. Jessica had been talking to Sophie not long ago. Could she have convinced Sophie to talk to her like that for some reason? Grace hoped the most special day of her life wasn’t going to be tainted by some stupid practical joke. But she couldn’t imagine Sophie taking part of something like that. Sophie had never even liked Jessica!
It was probably just nerves, Grace told herself, trying to push the matter from her mind. She needed to get her bridesmaids and go into the back to change into her wedding dress. She felt excitement bubbling up inside her. She’d never really stopped fantasising about the perfect wedding, ever since she was a little girl, and now she was finally getting it! And Rob was the most wonderful man she’d ever met. She flushed at the thought of her gorgeous husband-to-be. She wouldn’t see him until she walked down the aisle though. She wanted everything to be perfect.
“Good luck, Gracie!” someone said to her as she made her way through the crowd, and she smiled awkwardly back in the general direction of the voice. She hated being called Gracie - she wasn’t a two-year-old for goodness sake! But nothing was going to ruin her good mood today. She was determined of that.
She slipped past a group of guests and found the people she was looking for; Olivia, Caroline, and Annie. Her three bridesmaids. At least the three of them were acting normally. They hurried up to her the moment they saw her, looking almost as excited as she felt.
They put their heads together, giggling.
“Ready?” asked Olivia, grinning.
Grace grinned back and nodded.
The four of them moved through the guests and into a room in the back of the venue where Grace could get changed. Her wedding dress was hanging on a clothes rack waiting for her. She beamed at it. It was beautiful – pure white, of course, with a floral-patterned bodice and a flowing, floor-length skirt. Elegant and sophisticated, sexy but still classy. The perfect dress.
Grace would barely contain her excitement as Olivia, Caroline, and Annie helped her change into it. She couldn’t take her eyes off the mirror in front of her as she was steadily transformed into the bride she’d dreamed about being ever since she was a little girl.
She was almost done when Caroline suddenly said “Oh!”
“What?” Grace asked, worried something had gone wrong.
“Your veil! I think your mother has it. Or maybe it’s still in the car…”
“Don’t panic,” Olivia soothed, seeing Grace’s face. “The three of us will go and look for it. I’m sure it’s around. We’ll be right back.”
Her bridesmaids left the room, leaving Grace alone. But a few moments later, the door opened, and Jessica stepped inside.
“Hi sweetie!” she said, with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
“Hello Jessica,” said Grace, looking at her warily.
“Don’t you look pretty!” Jessica cooed, but her eyes were sparkling malevolently. “Looking forward to walking down the aisle?”
“Listen Jessica,” said Grace firmly, “whatever it is you’re here for, whatever you’ve got planned…”
“Planned?” asked Jessica, cocking her head.
“I just don’t want you ruining things by trying to make this all about you,” Grace said coldly. “This is a very special day for me.”
“Of course it is, Gracie,” Jessica said. Her smile widened. “The wedding couldn’t happen without you!” She let out a light, tinkling laugh, and then she turned and left the room.
Grace scowled. Gracie again. And she didn’t like the way Jessica had been smiling. Did she really not have anything planned? They’d been friends once, but Grace had got together with Rob shortly after he’d broken up with Jessica, and Jessica hadn’t liked that one bit. Grace remembered Jessica screaming at her, calling her a big-titted whore who’d stolen her boyfriend.
Grace adjusted her large breasts in her wedding dress. It was true she had a better figure than Jessica, but she hardly thought that mattered. She and Rob had been meant for each other, and that was all there was to it.
What else was it that Jessica had said to her? Stupid little girls shouldn’t steal other people’s things, that was it. Grace smirked. Rob was hers now anyway. They were getting married and there was nothing Jessica could do about it. She’d only been invited in the first place because it would have seemed rude not to invite her after Grace had invited all her other old friends – it would make it seem like she was the one still carrying a grudge.
Grace shook her head. What was she doing? She shouldn’t even be thinking about Jessica right now. Not on her big day! She admired herself in the mirror, picturing how she’d look walking smoothly down the aisle on the best day of her life.
Minutes past, and her bridesmaids still hadn’t returned. But just when Grace was starting to get worried, the door opened again. She look around eagerly as Olivia and Caroline stepped into the room, but her smile faltered when they were closely followed not by Annie, but by Jessica. She was holding something white and semi-transparent in her arms. Was that stupid bitch carrying her veil?! Hadn’t she got the message that she wasn’t wanted?
But as Jessica stepped forward, Grace realised the thing she was holding wasn’t a veil at all. It was a dress. A very different dress from the beautiful, elegant, sophisticated wedding dress she was currently wearing.
“What’s going on?” asked Grace. She’d just noticed that her two bridesmaids were looking at her rather strangely. They were both smiling, but Olivia was shaking her head from side to side, like a kindergarten teacher amused by the antics of a misbehaving toddler, and Caroline was looking at her with the same sort of sickeningly sweet eagerness that Grace had seen earlier on Sophie’s face. “What are you…?”
“Come on, sweetie,” Jessica interrupted, and her eyes were glinting darkly. “It’s time to get you into your proper clothes. That’s enough playing pretend. I need my wedding dress for my big day.” She smiled broadly. “But don’t worry. I’ve found something much more appropriate for you to wear!"
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myfairkatiecat · 7 hours
Text
Guest pastor at the church I play piano for decided to be a real piece of work this week :)
Okay gonna put the rant under the cut in case someone doesn’t feel like scrolling past my indignant ranting about the guest pastor at my church
we’ve had arguments in the past over picking hymns. Because that’s my job. If she were the actual pastor she’d get final say, but as I am the one actually employed at this church and she is a guest, technically I get the final say.
That’s technically. But in practice, I’m seventeen, and she’s sixty-something, and I don’t like getting into arguments with people with a lot of years on me.
But she picks gross hymns that no one can sing, and the congregation backed me and said I need to get to pick the hymns. So we compromised. She picks the middle hymn, I pick the opening and closing hymns.
Whatever. That’s only one weird hymn a week.
Weird hymns are also really hard to play because they make no musical sense (there’s a reason no church ever sings them ever). So I spend most of my time practicing the weird song.
Today I got to the church and I practiced briefly the ones I picked, and then extensively the weird one she picked.
Then, one minute til the service starts—and I mean 9:59 for a 10:00 service—she says, “just to be clear—we aren’t doing number 650, we’re doing ‘his banner over me is love.’”
And I was like 🧍‍♀️ what
And she’s like “I emailed you this weeks ago…..”
So I pulled up the email she sent me weeks ago and pointed to the fact that she said we were doing hymn 650. Which was a horrible terrible disgusting hymn I never want to ever have to play ever again ever
She points to the bottom of the email, which is a link to Ultimate Guitar, and says, “but we talked about this song and you said you loved it and already knew it!”
And I was like
Huh
I’ve never heard that song in my life
What the heck are you talking about. That conversation definitely did not happen.
So I’m like “listen. That’s a link to chords on ultimate guitar for a song I don’t know. You said you’d ‘love to play it during the sermon’ underneath the part where you explicitly said we were going to sing hymn 650 this week. I can read chords, but I don’t know the melody so that doesn’t really do anyone any good. I assumed when I first got this email that when you said you’d love to play this song during the sermon, you meant that you’d have a recording, because in the past you’ve played recordings of songs before during your sermons. It was also below you explicitly saying that we were doing hymn 650, and we’ve established that you only pick one song a week.”
And she said, “I only picked one song… it’s this song”
And I’m like “then WHAT IS THIS??” Because the email she sent DEFINITELY had that song explicitly written on it!
She kept not answering that part and I couldn’t isolate the question and force and answer cause like I said it was 9:59 for a 10:00 service
So I told her, “I’m not going to play this song, because I don’t know it and you did not make clear that I was supposed to learn it, you also didn’t send me actual sheet music for it and explicitly named your one hymn choice for this week that you are now saying I wasted my time learning.”
So she’s all upset and passive aggressive like “whatever 🙄 we’ll just sing it without music. I’ll teach it to them. EXCUSE ME EVERYONE! IM GONNA TEACH YOU A SONG NOW!”
And the congregation is kinda like……ok??????
And she starts singing but no one can follow her because she’s not really in any particular key……..
So uh
That’s my story from this morning
*deep breaths* I am a Christian and Christians love I am a Christian and Christians love I am a Christian and Christians love
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Hey Love your stuff! The Vs being protective of Retro, preventing them remembering anything bad or near murder that they do, is actually cute considering what Retro's dark side.
So here is a thought I had after reading Valentino covering up his near murder that Retro saw. What if Retro, most likely in the tower as i can't picture them ever doing this in public, was to try and flirt with Vox and Val?
I don't expect anything more than Retro maybe trying on a risky outfit, maybe getting nervous, and getting caught of course.
I just wonder how they would react as Retro making that kinda move seems outta character for your wonderfully created Hidden Serious killer 'house wife' Sea Bunny.
Sorry if my suggestion made you uncomfortable feel free to ignore it.
Anon, you are amazing. Don’t worry about it at all! I actually have a really adorable idea because of this, and I hope you like it! (Slight spice warning? I guess. It’s just a picture of the outfit in question, nothing really happens)
Something New!
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“Vel, babe,” I said, with a nervous smile. “I have a teensy tiny favor to ask of you.”
“Oh?” Velvette asked, over the phone. She motioned for her models to shut up. “And what would that be?”
“Just- please come to my room when you can,” I said quietly. I was already blushing, and I hadn’t even told her what this was about.
“Of course! I’ll be over before you know it,” she said with a grin. I never asked for favors, much less from her. She knew that whatever this was, it would be good. “Love ya sweetheart, see you soon!”
“Love you too,” I said, a small smile on my face.
She hung up and dropped everything. “Everyone! Leave! Now!” She said, pointing towards the door. “I’ve got an emergency to cover.” She made another call on her phone. “Yeah, hey, Vox? Shut off the cameras.”
“What- why?” He asked, sounding suspicious. He was watching me fidget nervously in my bedroom- he was in his office, watching from the cameras- as I awaited Velvettes arrival. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not at all! If my hunch is correct, this could be great,” Velvette said, sounding excited. “I just need you to turn off your stalker cameras for a bit- at least the ones near and around Retro. If you’re watching, they might bail.”
“Bail on what?” Vox asked, sitting up straighter. “Vel, what are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” she said in a sing song voice, already headed to my room. “Nothing you need to worry about, at least. This will be fun, trust me.”
“Fine.”
“Yes!”
“But you only get two hours,” Vox said sternly. “Then the cameras are on and I get an explanation, understand?”
“You got it, babes,” Velvette said with a grin. She hung up and knocked on my door. “Retro? I’m here, love. May I come in?”
“Hm?” I looked at the door, surprised. She’d gotten here quick. I opened the door and stepped aside, letting her in my room. “Uh, yeah, definitely.” I closed the door behind her. “Uh. Don’t you- I thought you had work?”
“Hm? Oh yes, it was a slow day,” she said, waving a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry about it. Now, what was that favor you needed?”
“Oh! Right,” I said, my face heating up already. I looked away and sat on my bed, fidgeting again. “I, uh… I was wondering….”
“You were wondering,” Velvette repeated, sitting down besides me. My reaction was practically confirmation of her guess, but she wanted to hear it from me. “What is it, love? You know I can’t help unless you tell me.”
“Can you- could you help me find a good outfit to wear?” I blurted. God, I was so tense and nervous. It was silly, really. This wouldn’t be my first time wearing something risky, but I was still anxious about it. I loved them, and I was afraid I’d screw it up. I was having second thoughts already. “Something for Vox and Valentino. Something they’d like.”
“Oh!” Velvette said. She put a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide with surprise. She thought it was something of this nature, but to have me actually say it? Me admitting it? Damn. The way I was acting made it adorable to her. “You want something… suggestive? Or just showy?”
“W-what?” I asked, looking at her. Now I was confused. “Wait, there’s a difference? What?”
“Oh sweetheart,” she said, taking my hand in hers. “I have so much to teach you.”
For what seemed like forever, Velvette showed me an outfit and I said no. She was showing me lingerie, bondage gear, and the like. She quickly realized I was not used to this sort of thing (and I didn’t want to do anything, I just wanted to tease the boys), and toned it down. Eventually, we settled on a top and some normal pants.
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(Left if you don’t have tits, right if you do. Or you could wear something else, I don’t care. I just don’t know how to describe this lol)
So, I got changed and hesitantly walked out from behind my dressing screen to show Velvette the outfit.
“So, uh… what do you think?” I asked, doing a little twirl for her. “Do you think they’ll like it?”
“Oh. My. God.” She gasped and walked over, admiring how I looked, and her handiwork. “Babes, you have got to do this more often! You look stunning. Here, let me get a picture.”
“No! No,” I said immediately pulling away. I was blushing furiously. “Please don’t. Oh my god, I should’ve known this was a bad idea. God, I feel so stupid…”
Velvette frowned, looking disappointed. She felt a pang of guilt. She hadn’t meant to make me feel that way, she just wanted something to remember the occasion. She reached out to explain, but before she could, the door opened. Vox and Valentino walked in, looking serious.
“Alright, times up,” Vox said sternly. “I turned off the cameras, now I expect an-” he cut himself off when he saw me.
“Oh,” Valentino said with a grin. “This. I like this.”
“Fuck! Fuck, no, shit- you aren’t supposed to- oh my god,” I panicked, ducking behind my dressing screen. My face was as red as a tomato. I was so embarrassed. “Please leave!”
“Wait, what?” Vox asked, looking to Velvette. He was confused by my reaction. Was he not supposed to see me like this? Hadn’t I just spent the past two hours preparing for this? Why was I reacting this way? He wondered if he did something wrong. “Did I…?”
“No, it’s not you,” Velvette said quickly. She stood and walked over to the two, looking guilty. “They’re just… a bit shy. They aren’t used to this, you know? I kind of startled them, by accident, just before you came in.”
“Oh,” Vox said. He was still processing. And overheating slightly.
“Honey bunny,” Val said softly, approaching the dressing screen slowly. “It’s okay. We didn’t- we don’t-” he sighed. He had no idea what to say. “Sweetheart..”
“It was a silly idea,” I said quietly, on the other side of the screen. I was sitting on the floor, my knees tucked to my chest. “Sorry.”
“No, no, don’t be sorry,” he said. “May I…? Please?”
I didn’t respond but I didn’t stop him, either. I was conflicted. I wanted them to see, I was just afraid. I was afraid of a negative reaction. “I… I guess.”
He pushed the dressing screen aside and folded it up, then sat down next to me. “Come here, mi amor, it’s okay,” he said gently. He reached out to touch me, but didn’t, awaiting my permission. He was being so considerate, it was unlike him. I leaned towards him, allowing him to touch me, but I didn’t meet his gaze. “You look beautiful,” he said, wrapping his arm around my waist. He pulled me up against him.
“Thank you,” I said, with a small smile.
I looked over at Vox, who seemed on the verge of a system crash. His screen was flickering and he was clearly overheating just at the sight of me. Velvette was trying to help. She was not very successful. I laughed a little to myself and smiled wider- more genuine.
“He likes it too, you know,” Val said, nudging me playfully.
“I can tell,” I said, my expression softening. I was less tense now, more relaxed. “I’m glad.”
“So… will you be doing this again?” He asked with a grin.
“We’ll see,” I said with a small laugh. “I’m not sure Vox could handle it.”
“He’ll just have to get used to it! I won’t let him stop me from seeing you all dolled up and gorgeous like this,” Valentino said with a playful huff. He gently ran his fingers along my bare skin. “You look wonderful, mi cariño.”
“I agree!” Vox said, apparently having snapped out of his little spiral. His screen had a pink tinge to it- I imagined that was his way of blushing- but he had a smile on his face. He walked over and sat with us, Velvette following close behind. “I’d love to see you like this more, if you’re comfortable with it. You look stunning, either way, my dear.”
“Thank you,” I said, blushing again. He chuckled and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me.
“Not a problem, darling,” he said softly. He gave me a kiss on the top of my head and smiled wider. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“And I love them more than you!” Velvette declared.
“Hey!”
“I love them most!”
“HEY!”
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ushiwaakas · 3 days
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Heyyy , how’s your day?? I was wondering if you could do ushijima and reader at the gym, reader is new to exercising and doesn’t know how to use equipment so ushijima helps them
hiiiiii !!!!!!!! my day is going good, i hope yours is too!!!!
AND AHHHH THIS REQUEST IS SO CUTEEEE
my first request !!!! i’ll be doing gender neutral reader!!! thank you so much!
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☘︎ you’ve known ushijima for a while now, i mean, who doesn’t? being his desk mate, especially, you see him. him doing his schoolwork, him watching volleyball clips, him in general…
☘︎ okay he is a sight HAHA
☘︎ he obviously works out, duh, come on have you seen him???????? ‘cause…YOU'VE HAVE!!!1!1
☘︎ but, anyways, ever since you two worked on a school project together, you’ve been getting closer and closer.
☘︎ as friends of course haha!!!
☘︎ today was like any other day, you come in class, he’s already sat down in his seat, getting whatever he needs ready for class he just has a pencil lmao
☘︎ “good morning !” you said, as you sat down. you gave him a tiny smile, before putting your bag down under your desk.
☘︎ “Good morning. How’s your day?” he turned to look at you,
☘︎ you tell him good, asking about his day as you took out your pencil case. other kids were coming into class. it’s your last class of the day, finally.
☘︎ “Good, thanks. I wanted to ask, my friend, Tendou, usually comes to the gym with me on Fridays, since we have no volleyball practice. But, he’s sick. Would you like to come?”
☘︎…
☘︎ AHHHHHHH
☘︎ you squeaked out a ‘yes’ and it was done. you’re going to the gym with the ushijima wakatoshi.
☘︎ it happened so fast, school ending, you racing home to put on gym clothes, and getting basic necessities. and bam! you’re standing next to him, walking inside. you didn’t know whether to thank god, or to beg him for strength at this moment.
☘︎ ushijima was in some shorts, gym shoes, and a TANK TOP AHHHHH
☘︎ he had toned muscles.
☘︎ “It’s hot out today. Let’s go inside.” he waited for you to walk next to him.
☘︎..it was a little embarrassing, following him around like a lost puppy.
☘︎ at that moment, you realized- you have no clue how to use a gym. you’ve never been to one, or working out in general.
☘︎ yep, you were asking for strength, hope, and forgiveness.
☘︎ “Which machine would you like to use first?” he said, turning to look at you.
☘︎ AH he spoke to you AHHH
☘︎ you were blanking, oh god oh god.
☘︎ “What are you looking to do? High reps at a low weight, or vice versa? Or cardio?”
☘︎ ohgodohgod.
☘︎ “…cardio…?” nice going…
☘︎ he nodded, walking over to the treadmills, cycling machines, and the stair stepper machines.
☘︎ “…would it be okay to say i’ve never stepped foot in a gym before?” just get it out he won’t judge hewon’tjudge.
☘︎ “Of course. I can explain for you, if you’d like, or help you use it.” he spoke, not a hint of annoyance on his face.
☘︎ the giddiness in your body was radiating.
☘︎ you nodded, thanking him, before he stepped onto the treadmill. you followed, going on the one next to him.
☘︎ there were a ton of buttons. you looked over to him, giving him a look that said ‘please help’.
☘︎ he quickly came to your rescue, turning to look right at you.
☘︎ “Treadmills help with cardio. Most have similar settings, and some may have controls to monitor your heart rate. Press this button here to turn it on, and I can help you set the speed. You can go at whatever pace you’d like.”
☘︎ back to thanking god.
☘︎ you smiled at him, as he leaned over to turn on the treadmill. it was at a low walking pace. he went back to his own treadmill, and he turned his on. he began to press the buttons.
☘︎ HE TURNED HIS UP TO A 12???
☘︎…he put you at a 3.
☘︎ you looked over to him. he had perfect posture, perfect form, and he looked really good.
☘︎ you slowly put yours up at a light jog, the corner of your eye looking at him.
☘︎ HE WAS ALREADY LOOKING AT YOU AHHHHHH
☘︎ “Are you okay?” he said, not even breaking a sweat.
☘︎ taken aback, you quickly nodded, smiling at him. he turned and went to look straight ahead.
☘︎ you stopped after a little while- and you were so embarrassed.
☘︎ you were hot, sweating, hands-on-hips-position, and drinking your water.
☘︎ he was not phased.
☘︎ “We can work on the kettlebells if you’re alright with that. I can help you again. Form is especially important.”
☘︎ hehehehehehehe he’s going to help with your fooooormmmmmm!!!!!
☘︎ he led you over to the kettlebells, and got out a 5 pound. he took two 25 pounds for him…
☘︎ “Let’s start easy. Form is important, so let’s start with swings. Swing the kettlebell between your legs, and make sure to tighten your midsection. Once the kettlebell reaches hip height, squeeze your glutes and extend your arms to the ceiling.”
☘︎ yeah that went in one ear and out the other… his voice was so deep.
☘︎ he saw your puzzled expression, “I can help straighten your back as you do so, guiding you through it, if that’s okay.”
☘︎ YESYES THATS OKAY.
☘︎ “of course, thank you!” you smiled.
☘︎ he came over, and handed you a 5 pound weight. he stood behind you, close.
☘︎ “Can I put my hands on your back?”
☘︎ as he got a quick answer, he did so, his left hand on your back, and the other on your shoulder, straightening your back.
☘︎ “Okay. Go ahead.”
☘︎ he led you through it, helping you with tips as he still had his hands on you. after a couple reps, you put the kettlebell down, before looking at him.
☘︎ he still had his hands on you
☘︎ “I apologize.” ushijima quietly said, as he took his hands off.
☘︎ he bit his cheek, and looked away for a moment, before looking back at you.
☘︎ “Would you like to learn how to spot someone?”
☘︎ he seemed at ease, a more happier expression, if you really looked
☘︎ this was going to be a long day, but you wouldn’t want to be with any other person besides him.
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AHHHHHH OKAYOKAY i really hope this is good! i’ve never written any headcanons, drabbles, onceshots, etc before, so i hope this is good! i didn’t want this to be too long,…i might’ve overdid it a bit….sorry!!!!!
in the future, i want to get more of the character’s expressions and how they feel, compared the reader! i would love to work on that!
also i love ushijima so much i really hope i portrayed him well! he’s a little difficult to write for, but ill get the hang of it!
i hope everyone likes this, and thank you @jellysupremacy for the request! i hope you like it!!! i had a good time writing it!!!! 💗💗💗💐💐
i wrote like crazy i think i did it in an hour this was so fun
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“But now…”
Lockwood is so vulnerable in this moment.
He’s responding directly to what she said just before she stormed away from him and into their house:
“What does it even matter if we end up stabbed, or dead at the bottom of the Thames with nobody left to care?!
This doesn’t feel like winning.”
He stood there stunned, watching her go.
Hours before, he had stood in the same spot near a different taxi, watching her stride towards him in the same blue dress with the wind in her hair. She was a vision. He smiled despite himself.
“So it’s just us”
“Is that alright?” He had asked, as she held his gaze, her smile warming him thoroughly in the chill air, his heart pounding as he held the cab door for her.
There was no smile for him now.
And it was all his fault.
After showering off the river and putting on a fresh set of clothes, he’s had a quiet moment to think about what she said in anger… and how right she was to say it. She has the truth of the matter- he put them in terrible danger and they only barely survived the night. He was so reckless and careless and utterly foolish. The self loathing voice in his head threatens to take over as the weight of it settles on his mind. She’d be right to leave him, to hate him and never forgive him, he thinks, and the thought almost breaks his heart. Self loathing collides with a sense of desperation— she can’t leave me …I need her… I’ve fallen completely and desperately in love with Lucy …and I can’t—I mustn’t— screw this up, …if I haven’t already. He takes a slow breath and gathers himself, mentally rehearsing his apology before finding her in the kitchen.
He struggles through the apology… it’s not enough. The words feel like they’re falling flat and sound hollow in his ears. He moves closer, unsure if that will help but compelled to be close, drawn to her as always.
“I just wanted to say, don’t give up on us— please”
She drops the butter knife and it clangs to the plate.
He knows he’s got it wrong- he’s barely half way to the truth. He moves closer, compelled to see her and desperate to look into her eyes. He turns his body to her, she hesitates, still and waiting.
“Or, what I really should say is… don’t give up on me.”
Now she turns to him, and he’s grateful for it. Though her expression is unreadable, she gives him strength to show her his darkness. It’s her strength now that compels him:
“To be honest the bottom of the Thames used to be a far more appealing place to be.
And really no one would have cared.
But now…”
Is almost a question he poses, it’s so tentative.
There’s so much unsaid after those two words, and he has to believe it’s enough and she already knows the rest:
But now… Now I want to live. Because of you, Lucy. You came along and gave me something to live for.
But now, maybe someone would care if I ended up at the bottom of the Thames. I didn’t dare to think you cared about me, Lucy… but then you went and told me so. It was just before we went into Winkman’s auction earlier that night.
I was frustrated and rash and I said “when my time comes I don’t plan on leaving anyone behind who’s going to stare at that door every night, wishing I would just walk through it one more time”
And then you stopped me in my tracks:
“Well you should have never let me in, or George, because now it’s far too late.”
And that left me speechless.
So yes, I can say something as profound and crazy as “but now…” because I dare to believe you, Lucy. I have to try to believe you, to believe that I matter to someone. To two people even, my best friends that I love dearly and one that I love so deeply that it terrifies me.
“But now…”.
Silence. I have no more words. And I hope it’s enough.
I can only stare into her eyes, totally at her mercy, waiting for whatever she might say next …fully knowing it can break me. But what else can I do. I’m wrecked for her. And I’m a complete idiot and we both know it and she’d be right to reject my apology, to reject me. I stand with bated breath, looking into her beautiful eyes not daring to hope for forgiveness.
“Grenadier guard or policeman”
I exhale.
A wave of relief floods through my chest as the tension I didn’t know I held is released. I struggle to stand composed, this close to her while I’m taken by a flood of gratefulness and love for this fierce and brilliant girl who has —and forever will have— my heart.
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soullessjack · 13 hours
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🔥 jack
oh my godddd I have so many unpopular opinions where do I even start….HOLY DISCLAIMER BATMAN!
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anyways so in no particular order or tier system:
✯ i don’t think jack would wear anything feminine im sorry spn fandom. for lolz he has same-outfit-pattern-everyday autism and for serious it’s like. Really weird how fandoms tend to HC/portray non-binary amabs (and men/transmascs in general) almost exclusively as GNC or fem-presenting…like DGMW that is a real and valid form of self expression but it’s not the Only type of non-binary expression that exists. and honestly…**dare I say that most fandom/queer spaces just need to realize that queer masculinity exists and it doesn’t always have to be a matter of breaking gender norms??
** genuinely do whatever u want idc I can’t stop you i don’t want to stop you yada yada. paint his nails and put him in a skirt all u want but Please recognize patterns yall 😭
✯ more headcanon complaints (see disclaimer above ⇧) but I promise to switch it up soon. anyways every time somebody on this lil website says something along the lines of “Jack can’t handle/doesn’t like [insert violence, scary or adult-oriented thing], he prefers [soft or blatantly childlike things]” I shrivel inward like a dead spider. It’s annoying, it’s completely inaccurate to his canon personality and interests, it’s annoying ˣ2, and whether ppl wanna admit it or not—it stems from infantilization. not necessarily ableism, as infantilization is not exclusive to disabled people, but still just about the same thing.
honestly all I see of majority jack headcanons are ones that set him back to just being a child or otherwise being treated like one. for example, the one about him being able to shapeshift is pretty cool...until it just becomes about him deciding to age regress, yknow, to an age set he canonically chose not to go through, showed no desire to be in, and is more offended than anything to be considered as such. all of his interests have to be some shit like bluey or animal crossing, and he drinks apple juice from a sippy cup instead of beer. BARF.
I’ve lessened on my keyboard warring over babyjack in the past year but I have not lessened in being a hater. and I’ve said this before, but the baby-jack au already breached headcanon containment a long time ago when it’s not only so widespread that ppl take it for canon and it makes having any intelligent conversation about him nearly fucking Impossible, but it also lead to harassment and accusations of being a fucking predator, to anyone who dared find a whole grown man attractive. any potential jack ship, like jackharper? automatic grooming case to them. it’s like the fandom is just so dead set on this idea that jack really truly is a child in every aspect you can think of, and for what? if it’s just a headcanon, something you know is not part of the actual show, then don’t go Travis the Chimp levels of apeshit when you see him being treated like he is canonically 💀
unpopular opinion numero 3 which is slightly connected to 2:
✯ baby-jack and a handful of the domestic au’s are BORING (see disclaimer again ⇧), not just on a surface level to my suiting, but also because I feel like it just ..misses the point of the show?
the ragtag untraditional found family is now as nuclear and traditional as the Atomic Age. Dean and Cas are the most heteronormative “who wears the pants in the relationship” gay couple ever, Sam is demoted to the uncle that gets written out of his own family, Jack is just there to make his gay dads look cute and emphasize that they’re a gay family (while still being very heteronormative), and at least 5 of them could be found in a California gated community. everything that made any of them unique or defined their personalities is just scrubbed off, even for an AU.
so much of the later seasons focus on Sam and Dean realizing that they don’t have to make a hard splitting decision between the lives they want to live; that they can find a balance; be happy and have good things—namely families—without giving up hunting (and vice versa, that they can have hunting without giving up on family or happiness). everybody loves the gay hunters from S10(?12?) and what they represented for Dean, but I almost never see that be put into practice in the fandom.
THEY’RE ALREADY DOMESTIC!!! AND WITH THAT PERFECT BALANCE!!!! Season 13 quite literally gave Team Free Will a surrogate son to raise and established them as a family; highly untraditional, largely dysfunctional, overall not fitting of a family family, and yet they are a family still. Dean wears an apron and cooks and bakes for everyone; he built himself a man cave and established two separate family night events that they all ritually keep up; Sam has a morning jogging routine and visits his girlfriend every so often; Jack was taught how to drive, has normal chores like washing dishes, and gets groceries. And they didn’t just have that while fighting monsters—they had that while fighting a whole fucking archangel. Even if it did go down the gutter by the end, they still had it: domestic familial bliss and violent messy hunting without having to trade one for the other.
✯ I truly genuinely think Jack’s relationship with Dean is the best, most interesting and most misunderstood out of the three, and I also think that the problems with his relationship to Cas and Sam are hugely overlooked by the fandom—granted they are very small, especially if you’re comparing it to Dean, but they’re still there and I think we should bully Cas and Sam about it more. I shan’t elaborate because it’s 5AM and this was an impulsive add-on ❤️
✯ getting normal now…his plaid pattern jacket from the first half of Ouroboros is ugly as SHIT i have never liked it and don’t think I ever will. but I cannot deny it; he got that shit on.
✯ most unpopular opinion of all, I wanna do insane shit to his cervix 🙌
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iamthat-iam · 2 days
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https://www.tumblr.com/iamthat-iam/748866716447162368/to-the-anon-that-claimed-that-my-validation
You say « Suppose you were aware of being a famous rapper, and you had tons of fans. Then you open your eyes and everything appears to be the same. You try telling your family that you are a famous rapper, they all look at you like you're crazy. What happened here was you were perfectly aware of being this famous rapper, then switched to an illusion where you are not a famous rapper, and tried to get validation from people in the illusion where you aren't a famous rapper. »
it doesn’t make sense because 1- you guys say everything is instant so the moment he decided to be a famous rapper He should have been and even if he opened his eyes he would have seen what he decided to be and he wouldn't even have to tell his family or anyone else who he was because it’s obvious. 2- rihanna for example she doesn’t need to say who she is does she ? No, because you can tell she's a famous singer.
« So it would be pointless to tell them I'm a famous rapper if I already experienced it myself, and them looking at me crazy doesn't really mean anything » yes it kind of matters because J.cole have concerts etc but lamar don’t, so it’s like he’s lying to himself
« Your success story is your ability to appear as anything or anyone. » but he didn’t appear as anything or anyone, because if you say that’s right now it’s the same as a lucid dream, in a lucid dream when you decide something it happens period, so if in a lucid dream he decides to be a rapper he’s gonna be a rapper and go on tour. I’ve read a story i don’t know where it’s been some time now but the girl said she where at the beach with some friends and she decided to appear as random girl there so she closed her eyes and imagined herself looking like the girl on the beach and when she opened her eyes she was exactly as she wanted and her friends who were with her didn't see anything strange to them she's always been like that. That's why I say what you say is contradictory.
To address the first thing- the main point here is that every experience is the same, whether you label it daydreaming, visualization, w/e, it is always " " experiencing " " at all times. Even the idea that you *decided* for something to happen and it "didn't", is just an empty thought as well, since you are aware of whatever it is you want regardless. You are aware of thoughts telling you that you are not experiencing a desired outcome, but you are also aware of that desired outcome as well. Both are an illusion, awareness preceeds all.
For Lamar to be lying to himself, there'd actually have to be someone here who isn't a rapper, this being an objective fact. There are none. No one else's opinion matters because there are no others.
For your second argument, the point was you are appearing as everything already. Lamar is just a character in the story to represent an anon on Tumblr who would be asking such questions. Lamar is not Lamar, THAT, or " " is appearing as Lamar and the other characters in the story, his cellphone, etc.
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sarahmackattack · 4 hours
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Hi Sarah!
I have a cephalopod question: do ceph’s ever lose their suckers, and if so are they able to grow new ones?
And a SciComm question: do you have any advice for someone who wants to grow their career in SciComm? It’s my dream career but it seems like opportunities are few and far between.
Is it “better” to pursue a degree in a specific science, or to focus more on the education/teaching side of things?
(although a huge shoutout to you and the other SciComm folks sharing your passions! I did manage to get a part-time internship and job at my local zoo in their education department, and I only had the courage to pursue those opportunities thanks to people like you! Didn’t think I’d get this far, and now I can’t wait to take it even farther; I’ve just got to figure out how to get there first!)
Do ceph’s ever lose their suckers, and if so are they able to grow new ones? I'm sure they do! The regeneration of some species has been studied but not all of them so there's likely some species that are a little better at it than others (for example, it's probably something a predator that attacks very strong fast animals needs than an animal that primarily eats bivalves).
Do you have any advice for someone who wants to grow their career in SciComm? The trouble with this is that my job is very very weird, and doesn't exist in the kind of structure where you apply for a job →you get the job → you have a stable job. It's more similar to the safety and job structure of being an artist, but with a nonprofit thrown into the mix. It's... complicated! And not necessarily stable! All that to say, how I got here is not going to work for everyone and I honestly sometimes cant believe it worked/works for me at all. It might stop working any second.
But whatever here's what I did. I practiced science communication on social media and locally in Connecticut (where I was at the time). I tried to consume a lot of science communication and consider what was working in those pieces, and thought about what I enjoyed doing within that whole huge ecosystem. There's one zillion ways to do science communication, and different approaches will hit different audiences. It's totally critical for a lot of different people to be doing science communication in a way that feels genuine to them, in their own voices, with whatever methods they like doing the most so that as a collective, we hit the broadest patch of people. No one science communication technique is perfect for every "audience" member, so the diversity of approaches is so so important. I don't think that gets said enough. So explore! See what you like, see what you get joy out of doing, see how people react to it. Producing science communication as you're practicing will build out a portfolio of work that you can point to when you graduate.
There are a lot of kinds of science communication jobs. There's the freelance/DIY approach like having a podcast like Alie Ward, or founding a nonprofit (this is very hard and i don't recommend doing this lol), or having a successful youtube channel/social media situation like Hank Green or doing TV like Emily Calandrelli/Bill Nye/Phil Torres. Then there's working for an existing science education nonprofit like Biobus or Science Friday or working for institutions like museums/zoos/aquaria, etc. Theres also a whole field in the university system called "extension" where you're taking the work happening at the university and connecting the surrounding population with that work. Each of those jobs, particularly the older institution-based ones have their own structures and will come with different advice on how to get into those jobs. I'm not really sure about those. Having that science communication portfolio will likely help for all of them though!
As far as what to do for school... I think the true but kinda complicated answer is that often what we do for school isn't directly related to what we end up doing. The skills we build while we're in school, and the connections we make are really what determines where we end up and what we end up doing. So... really take seriously the stuff you're doing that nobody's telling you to do. That's as important as class... and honestly, in my personal experience, it's way more important than what you do in class.
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wu-sisyphus-gang · 3 days
Text
Weiss: “Jaune?”
Jaune: “What’s up, darling?”
Weiss: “What kind of cake do you want?”
Jaune: “Are you serious?”
Ruby: “Well, what kind?” 
Jaune: “I don’t… I don’t give a fuck. What kind of cake? I don’t give a fuck.”
Ruby: *pouts at him* 
Jaune: “Come on. What makes you think I’d give a fuck. Chocolate, vanilla, marble, some other weird option. I do not care. This is what you want my input on? The cake? I don’t care.”
Weiss: “Jaune…” 
Jaune: “This is what you want my opinion on? Of all things? Not, like, colors or other arrangements? The cake is what I get a cut of? I do not care about what kind of cake it is. Ruby said she wanted our weapons on top. So that. I guess. But other than that I don’t care. You know I don’t care. You knew that when you asked me. Before you asked me. I don’t give a flying fuck.”
Ruby: “We need you to make a decision. We can’t decide." 
Jaune: “So do half and half? What’s the hold up? This is it? This is what you absolutely must have my input on? Really? I don’t care. It’s a cake.”
Weiss: "Well what do you want to eat?”
Jaune: “You!” 
Weiss: *hits him but rolls her eyes with a grin* “Stop it. We want your input.” 
Jaune: “Hardly. This is literally the only thing you’ve ever asked me besides setting places out for the deceased.”
Weiss: “Well we do with this.”
Jaune: “No you don’t. You want me to take your side. That’s not the same thing. And I really don’t care. About the cake? Are you serious? I want it to taste good and I want to mush it into your faces when I feed it to you because I think that would be adorable. All covered in frosting. Your little tongues poking out to lick it off. I like that shit. Give me some of that.”
Weiss: “Do not get any on my dress."
Jaune: “Sure. Fine. Whatever. And I really don’t care what color the cake is either. White is fine. Black is fine. I mean… What are you two wanting from me? Let's get a nice multi-tiered, multi-flavored cake and call it good. Alright?”
Ruby: “Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?”  
Jaune: “I don’t…”
Weiss: “Do not say you don’t care. Where do you want to take us?"  
Jaune: “Listen…”
Weiss: “Sure, I’m listening.”
 Jaune: “A beach…? Resort…?”
Weiss: "Well at least you gave us some measure of input.”
Jaune: “What do you… what do you want from me? The whole point of marrying you, darling, was that you would do all the planning.” 
Weiss: “I hope that’s not the whole point.”
Jaune: “Well it’s a perk. It’s for sure a perk. I mean I get some other stuff out of it too I guess.”
Weiss: “Like a wife and kids? A family. Emotional connections.”
Jaune: “Yeah. Those things. I like those things. An emotional connection is all I ever really wanted with you. Ever since Beacon freshman year. The rest can sorta kinda hang."
Jaune: *stands up. takes both Weiss's hands in his and kisses the back of them in turn* “Darling, I couldn’t give a fuck about the cake.”
Weiss: *rips her hands away and smacks him* “Asshole.”
Jaune: “Am I?”
Ruby: “No, you’re sweet. Deep down you’re just a honey.” 
Jaune: "Am I?”
Ruby: “You are."
Jaune: “Anyways don’t ask me about the cake or color arrangements or what dinner should be for the guests. I don’t care. I barely care about the honeymoon locale. Like at all. So don’t come at me with that. Ruby likes planning this kind of bullshit. I’ve seen you. You liked planning Valentine's Day that one time with me. You liked planning your team activities. You like that kind of stuff. Don’t entangle me into it unless you really need my input but we already all know you don’t. You don’t need my input. You want me to take your side and say ‘chocolate’ or ‘vanilla.’ I just don’t give a fuck about that and you know it. So, darling, what kind of a cake do you want?”
Weiss: “Well I want it to be chocolate and Ruby wants vanilla.”
Jaune: “So how do we resolve this without having to resort to ‘asking Jaune?’ Because ‘Jaune’ doesn’t care.”
Weiss: “I suppose we just get a really big cake with different flavored layers.”
Jaune: “Bangarang. Was that so hard? Did you really need to involve me? You don’t have to answer. We already know. We just do.” 
Weiss: “But you do care about the honeymoon location?” 
Jaune: “I mean… I’ll do whatever you both tell me to. But I like the idea of you two wearing very little clothing. So… beaches? But I’m not picky.”
Ruby: “You’re a pumpkin.” 
Jaune: “Grr, my soul is a dark place.”
Ruby: “No it’s not. Your aura is the color of sunshine or the sky on a sunny day."
Jaune: “Grr. I’m a bad murder man.” 
Weiss: “Oh shut up, you’ve never once been more violent than the situation called for or directed your aggression at people who didn’t deserve it. Not once. Not in your life. Stop it.”
Jaune: “I’m brutal."
Ruby: “You’re a puppy. What color arrangements do you want to set out for your team?”
Jaune: “Pink and orange, pink and green, red and gold. Is that really okay to do? I don't know anything about weddings.”
Weiss: “People put out arrangements for the dead all the time, Its not like a unique thing we’re doing that would turn heads.”
Jaune: “Okay, cool, I guess." *sighs heavily* 
Ruby: *smacks him aggressively on the leg* “I heard that."
Jaune: “Heard what? I sighed!”
Ruby: “You bad mouthed yourself. In your head. I heard you." 
Jaune: “You can’t thought police me."
Ruby: “I can and I will.” 
Jaune: “I’m not allowed to diss myself aloud you can’t stop me from doing it in my head. That’s not allowed. My thoughts are mine. Off limits. No touchy.”
Ruby: “Oh we’re gonna, I’m gonna ‘touchy.’”
Jaune: “Weiss, help me out.”
Weiss: "You want me to take your side? After you wouldn’t take my side on the cake. I’m taking Ruby’s side anyway. You’re not allowed to bad mouth yourself in your head. That’s called depression.”
Jaune: “But that’s all I do in here. You can’t take that from me." 
Ruby: “It’s against the rules. I’ll put it to a vote if I have to." 
Jaune: “No voting.”
Weiss: “Yes. Voting what an excellent idea.” 
Jaune: “But-”
Ruby: “All in favor say ‘yay.’ Yay!”
Weiss: “Yay."
Jaune: “But-”
Ruby: “Tough bananas, big guy, your reign ends here.”
Weiss: “It’s not healthy. If you think malicious thoughts about yourself you may as well be slitting your wrists or burning your hands. It’s self harm and self harming is expressly forbidden.”
Jaune: “I’m in charge here. I get to choose what I think about me.”
Ruby: “Not anymore.”
Weiss: “You can’t be trusted to do a good enough job." 
Jaune: “Listen… Weren’t we talking about cakes?”
Ruby: “Nice try.” 
Jaune: “Honeymoon locations?”
Weiss: “I’ve always wanted to go to Costa Del Sol. It’s a beach resort town near Vacuo.”
Ruby: “Costa Del’cation!”
Weiss: “White, sandy beaches, cocktails, swimsuits, the works."
Ruby: “Lovemaking. Plenty of lovemaking. We’ll get off the pill and really try.”
Weiss: “Think you can keep up, Jaune?" 
Jaune: “Um… probably not. Right? I mean… how many times per day do you think I can go?”
Ruby: “Eight?”
Jaune: *laughs* 
Weiss: “Ten?”
Jaune: *stops laughing* "Maybe six. And that’s pushing it. Probably four. I need time for my gentlemen to regroup and recoup. Otherwise it starts to hurt and it becomes less effective. And it isn’t a fun type of hurt like what you ladies sometimes describe. It’s a painful hurt.”
Ruby: “Poor little Jaune. We’ll take care of you.”
Jaune: “Are you talking about me or my dick?”  
Ruby: “Both."
Weiss: “You really think you can only do six shots per day? That’s only three a piece for the two of us…”
Jaune: “‘Only?’”
Ruby: “Doesn’t sound like a lot. But if it’s every day, if it’s every day we should get somewhere with it.”
Weiss: “Only three, though. That’s not a whole lot of times. Maybe if it’s a ‘dangerous’ week for our cycles.”
Ruby: “Yeah… should we plan it that way? Or just…”
Jaune: “Three ought to be plenty. How many shots does it take to get pregnant? Just one good one right?”
Weiss: “Just try all the time. Yeah."
Ruby: “We can probably also start trying a little before the honeymoon and wedding day. We won’t be showing for sure."
Weiss: “That’s true. It wouldn’t hurt to at least get off the pill before. What do you think? Like a month?”
Ruby: “Plus the honeymoon and afterwards. That gives us two months of three hits per day. That should probably do it. And if it doesn’t we should see a doctor.”
Weiss: “Jaune and I tried for at least two months. If you don’t get pregnant, Jaune should see a doctor. If I don’t get pregnant, I should see a doctor." 
Jaune: “Um… two months? Every day?”
Ruby: “Is that a problem?”
Weiss: “Buck up, Jaune.” 
Jaune: “I’ll just drink plenty of water…”
Ruby: “Does that help?”
Jaune: “It doesn’t hurt? I’ll be honest. Six every day for two months is a lot. It’s like… well, it’s a lot. And there are two of you. I mean… I always dreamed of disappointing two girls at once but never thought it would go down quite like this. But I’mma need some rest days in there. I just am. If I’m a revolver-”
Ruby: “Rifle. Little Jaune is a rifle. We’ve gone over this."
Jaune: “-I’m going to need some time to reload. I literally don’t have it in me to do what you’re asking.”
Weiss: “What about with Limit Breaker?”  
Jaune: “I still get tired. When I’m out of juice, I’m out of juice. I just am. It’s like in those commercials where they squeeze a ketchup bottle only a puff of dust comes out instead of ketchup. Only for my dick. And when you try and squeeze my dick and its a dry well, it fucking hurts, bro. And not in a fun-pleasant kind of hurting. It fucking hurts. That’s the gods’ way of telling you to stop. Stop it. You’ve had enough. Seriously quit trying.” 
Weiss: “Well I don’t care what the gods think. I want my three hits.”
Jaune: “I’m saying ‘no.’ It’s not happenin’. I need rest days. More than one."
Ruby: “More than one a month or more than one a week?”
Jaune: "More than one a week probably. Six is a lot. After, like, three in the same day the gods start frowning down upon you. You can feel the negative energy. They start making their disappointment known.”
Ruby: “What’s the most times you’ve ever jerked off in a day?"
Jaune: “Two. It starts becoming uncomfortable after three. It starts to hurt after that. The gods start shaking their heads at you. If we’re going to do six we’ll have to space them out over the day. Start early, drink plenty of milk, finish late.”
Weiss: “Finish often, more like."
Jaune: “Okay. I’m telling you guys it starts hurting and I can’t get it up after three in succession and I need something like a twelve hour break to even fit one more in there. Four every day would be a lot. You ought to be grateful if I can pull off four.”
Weiss: “That’s only two for each of us!” *smacks him on the arm*
Jaune: “I’m doin’ the best I can!”
Weiss: “I want my three hits!” 
Jaune: “You can’t… you can’t have three! I’m sorry! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! You just… you’re probably not gonna get three! You’re just not. And hitting me and yelling at me won’t suddenly make me ejaculate more. I only make the stuff so fast. And it fucking hurts! Quit hitting me!” 
Weiss: “Fine. Two will have to do.”
Jaune: “You’ll be lucky to get two. I’m probably done at three a day. The most powerful one is the first one. It really fucking hurts. Stop hitting me, Weiss. I mean it.”*Catches her hand when she whips it at his shoulder* “You good, you done?”
Ruby: “We want more. More .”
Jaune: “I’m only one guy. You want more sperm, go to a bank. You want my kids, you're gonna have to be patient with me . I’m not a talking pair of gonads. I need time and rest and recuperation periods. That means we’ll seriously be pushing it at six a day, we’ll be fortunate to have four a day, and I will still need days off. I just will. If you can’t handle that you can’t have my kids. I’m sorry! You just can’t! You’ll need someone else. Someone, who from the sound of it, is literally just testicles and nothing else. There’s a person attached to this dick. I will not be objectified!”
Weiss: *smacks him with her other hand*
Jaune: “Weiss hit me again and I won’t have sex with you for a month."
Weiss: “You wouldn’t dare! Our wedding day is only a month off. We can probably start trying now! I want to start trying now !”
Jaune: “Hit me again. I’ll give it all to Ruby. Ruby, you want to start trying now." 
Ruby: Hmm *wraps her arms around his neck.*
Jaune: “Behave or all three shots are going to Ruby."
Weiss: "I thought you said four.”
Jaune: “I said four if you’re lucky. Are you feeling lucky?" 
33 notes · View notes
bitchsister · 21 hours
Note
can we maybe get curt cockwarming bucky,, but he’s just unable to sit still and is being all bratty about it since he wants to get off but bucky won’t let him 👀
This is not the one and only cockwarming ask I’ve gotten! And anon, while there is some gentle kinda cockwarming in this… there’s a lot more happening too…. Because like I’ve said before. I need a muzzle.
(I kinda just did whatever I wanted.)
Top punk baby princess Curtie in this.
Bye
This has been very sloppily edited. It’s pure smut and filth if there’s any weird errors just ignore them and love me for my flaws.
I blame @swifty-fox for a lot of what is in this. But also I blame myself for being the one to write it. 🫶🏼
Look at their beautiful art for our baby Punk Princess Curtie!!
Here’s their art tag. They spoil me daily 🩷
☣️THIS PARTICULAR DRABBLE IS LONG AS ALL FUCKIN HELL AND IS A MESS. ☣️
Because there was no specifications made, this is yet another addition to our Lucky Charms AU!
If you’re not LOCKED IN for THESE THINGS, do not read : Curt and Rosie arguments, injuries and mentions of blood, lowkey blood play, TOP CURTIS, bottom Bucky, Sub Bucky turned Dom real quick, crying, whining, spit, kinda cockwarming? I tried for the circumstances I swear, Daddy is used a few times . Oh. And Green Day.
I definitely have more cockwarming requests. So a cute and sleepy cockwarming drabble will probably happen eventually.
Bucky’s place wasn’t close to campus, but if Curt managed to catch a lift from Rosie or one of his girlfriends, then he’d manage to bribe them into dropping him off near the skate park which was only about a fifteen minute ride away from Bucky’s, if he was really putting his back into it.
He’d gone a week without seeing either of them, and while FaceTime was certainly one of the greatest modern inventions to exist, it didn’t do anyone justice — either the bar Curt was in was too loud, Bucky couldn’t figure out how to add Gale successfully to their call or Curt was balls deep in an essay about the Navier-Stokes Equations and Computational Fluid Dynamics while the other two had free time.
“I can’t go all the way to his place, Curt. I got work in like — fuck. Twenty minutes.” Rosie stared at his watch, gaze fluttering to land on Curt who stood in front of him, batting his lashes as he held his board at his hip.
“C’mon, Rosie. You’re arrangin’ bouquets all day, not protecting the government from cybersecurity attacks.” Curt stepped forward and tapped his nose. “At least not yet, Mister Digital Forensics.” His lashes fluttered again. “How ‘bout the park, then?”
When Rosie told Curt he’d gotten a job as part-time florist downtown, he’d laughed right in his face.
Ain’t no way!
Rosie stared straight at Curt, his lips tugged into a solemn line.
Wait — yo, forreal?
“I’ll — fuck — hey, Monday I’ll get you a coffee. How’s that, hm? For your troubles.” Curt made his voice sound sweet, stood before Rosie with his headphones around his neck, a loose tshirt hanging to his thighs, cutoffs revealing his scabby knees.
He blew an obnoxious bubble with his gum into Rosie’s contemplative face.
A heavy sigh escaped him, his shoulders sagging under the weight of resignation as he realized that continuing this argument with Curt would consume more time and energy than simply giving in. "Fine," Rosie conceded, his tone exhausted. "But you owe me a muffin, too.”
Curt flashed him a smirk once he’d plopped into the passenger seat of Rosie’s old Bronco where nothing but FM sports radio played through the muddied coaxial far older than them.
They chirped at each other for a little while about sports. None of which Curt knew a thing about besides what Bucky had told him. “Well, B says they got a good season ‘head of ‘em.” Curt popped a bubble between his teeth again, fingers fiddling with the too-loose trucks of his board to tighten them.
“You listen to everything he says?” Rosie shot a sidelong glance at Curtis, a brow risen. “It’s almost like you have no singular thoughts these days.” He continued, though he shouldn’t have. “Bucky this, Bucky that.”
The radio statics, but drones on.
That’s baseball for you folks. The Kawasaki kid has ice in his veins! One swing of the bat can change everything.
“I got plenty’a thoughts of my own.” Curt grit his teeth but forced his jaw to relax the moment he heard Gale in the back of his head, reminding him right away that his first reaction is rarely ever his best.
Relax, Curt. Take a deep breath. It’s nothing to get all bent out of shape about. Tell me a few things you can see. What do you taste? What do you smell? What can you touch?
Redbuds blooming in early spring, spent bubblegum, the leak in Rosie’s busted exhaust, the textured and worn down urethane of the wheels on his board.
“Hardly.” Rosie drummed his fingers over his steering wheel absentmindedly, reducing himself to the songs in his head since the radio in his car failed to work half the time. “You think he’s gonna keep you around when you’re graduated? Or, god forbid, you turn twenty-six and Ruthie doesn’t pay for your health insurance anymore? Officially too old for Attorney at Law, Bucky Egan.”
They hadn’t talked about Gale all that much besides the fact that he and Bucky often worked on case studies together and were usually working the same if not similar court dockets — a good friend who he certainly hadn’t dropped to his knees for.
“Fuck off with that.” Curt waved his hand at Rosie, his head shaking in disbelief and his expression one of grand theatrics. “Ain’t mine or nobody else’s fault you ain’t been laid in months. Maybe if you weren’t such a fuckin’ downer, man,” he pulled his shirt up to tighten the shoelace threaded through his belt loops. “You been on my back about it now for a while.”
“Well, all you do is talk about ‘em.”
“And, so what!?” Curt tapped his board a few times over the dashboard to taunt him and make a big, loud fuss. “You goddamn leech! You suck the fuckin’ life outta me, Robbie!” Curt was huffing through his nose, red in his cheeks and far from remembering the things he could see, taste, smell and touch. “You know Nora calls you Rosie Raincloud?” He was being venomous now, his fangs deep in Rosie’s flesh. “‘Cause you fuckin’ smother us with it, Robert. We hardly know what to say to you these days.”
Rosie had stomped his foot over the brake in one of the picturesque neighborhoods, nestled in a dreamy suburban wasteland, so different from the city.
His chin wobbled and his gaze denied Curt the satisfaction of seeing it reduced to a puddle — that hurt, but he could only really blame himself.
It wasn’t the first time he’d taken a swing at Curtis Biddick and got hit back twice as hard.
“You don’t gotta say nothin’.” Curt swung the passenger side door open and jumped out, his head sticking into the window for one last twist of the knife in Rosie’s chest. “Coffee shop ain’t even fuckin’ open on Mondays.”
Rosie peeled off, leaving Curt to hop on his board and kick his legs as hard and fast as he possibly could, his headphones tugged back over his ears and the volume turned up as loud as it could go.
City of the dead, at the end of another lost highway.
Signs misleading to nowhere
He tried his hardest not to think about how he had acted, and the things he had said to Rosie — in truth, Curt was better equipped to handle what Rosie had been saying to him since after all it was his own opinion, which he’d reserved the right to.
Curt didn’t need to scream at him the way he did, or bring up Rosie’s sudden knack for draping a wet blanket over every conversation.
It didn’t get them anywhere.
His mind drifted so far away and his chest heaved with ragged breaths as he kicked his legs to the beat of the drum line in the song he listened to.
Angry, sloppy, reckless.
He stopped to take out some energy on the railings of concrete neighborhood staircases, finding his inability to make it down all the way in a front side a new irritant to focus on instead of the guilt he felt for hurting Rosie before his shift at the flower shop.
Until sunset he occupied his mind — or, until his exhausted body had failed him for the last time and sent his face into concrete. “I hear ya.” He mumbled at the sky, assuming it was all karmic as he reached into the grass nearby to grab his phone which had flown out of his pocket the first time the railing swiped him right between his ass cheeks and straight to his tailbone.
His body ached, his screen was cracked, there was glass in his thumb.
He hardly announced his presence anymore, fucking up the gate code a few times due to the shakiness of his fingers and dropping his keys to his feet while he attempted to unlock the front door, a wild and unabashed string of cocksuckingmotherfuckingpiecesofshit falling from his lips once he’d kicked the door closed with the back of his heel, limping into the kitchen to nose around for a snack, although he had really expected Bucky to be on his second glass of wine by then, his iPad an inch from his face as he browsed the internet for a new dinner recipe.
“Hey,” Bucky called from the garden where he lounged in his tightest swimming shorts — the ones that showed off the thick muscle of his thighs and the curve of his toned hips. “Hey!” He’d been calling to Curtis from the open French doors that lead to the pool, the sun still too bright to realize Curt was bleeding from an unknown source on his face with his headphones still blaring music into his brutalized eardrums.
Where have all the bastards gone?
The underbelly stacks up ten high.
“Dammit, Curtis.” Bucky got up from where he was laying, riddled with irritation that Curt didn’t come squealing into his lap like he always did, attacking him like a sucker fish on any bit of skin he left visible.
His footsteps weren’t detected by Curt that peeled a string cheese layer by layer, half of his body reaching into the fridge to find something else to eat. “If you’re gonna use my money for things like this, at least give me the satisfaction of -“ he’d reached to pull Curt’s headphones away from his ears which had inadvertently caused Curt to whip around, bright blue eyes starkly contrasted by the flow of crimson that stained his lips and neck.
This wasn’t the first time, nor the last.
Still, Bucky let out a sigh as Curt continued to feed himself strings of cheese, blinking up at Bucky as if nothing had been out of place — though, even John would admit, this got easier each time.
“What was it this time?”
Curt sighed, his shoulders shrugging. “Don’t even remember.”
He was so lost in his own thoughts about his fight with Rosie that he could hardly recall what he had landed and what he hadn’t — he had no notes to give himself and nothing he could set his intentions to improve on later.
He threw his body around for four hours and got nothing out of it. And, not to mention, he may have lost a friend.
Bucky shoved his face in Curt’s neck once he’d pulled him nearer, so damp with sweat and radiating heat like the surface of the sun. So bright, so warm, so absolutely gorgeous. “Need to keep all your braincells the way they are.” He murmured, drawing in the scent of him while his lips pressed kisses to the salty heat on the soft flesh of his neck.
Curt still felt sore about what he’d done to Rosie but with Bucky in front of him like this, his hands groping his sides to pull him closer, it grew more and more difficult to think about anything else. “C’mon, m’fuckin’ filthy, Bucky.” He whispered, his voice barely there.
“Oh, I know.”
The sun continued to set beneath the hedges in the garden and the breeze that blew through the open doors had cooled him down enough, but Bucky had done very little to stop his sweating — his palms splayed over the softness of Curt’s hips, the small of his back, the curve of his neck. “You need me to kiss it all better, don’t you?” Bucky could taste the metallic sting dance over his tastebuds. “Need me to lick you clean, hm?”
Curt had still felt the hot sting of anger in his belly, the annoyance with himself for getting it all wrong, the frustration of having no control over what he said, his emotions, and how he reacted to them.
He pushed himself forward, chest to Bucky’s until he was backed into the center island, his skin stained down to the neck of his tshirt. “You’d like that, wouldn’t ya?” The blue of his iris had darkened like the deepest parts of the ocean — the most dangerous. “Can’t wait to have me down your throat, huh?”
Bucky could hardly suppress the expression coloring his features as a searing chill trickled over every inch of his body. “Fuck,” his palms flattened again over Curt’s sides and down to the curve of his ass where he grabbed two handfuls, pressing his body closer and closer. “Look at you.”
He looked fucked up on himself, mesmerized by his own power, his own influence — Bucky was the softest, warmest putty between his bloody fingers. “Been thinkin’,” Curt grabbed Bucky’s jaw, forcing his lips to part as his own grew inches away. “When you cut your finger. Made me think, ya know — it made your face get all screwed up, made you whine a little.”
Bucky had sliced his finger clean open on a new set of knives Gale got him for Christmas months ago, the blades still sharp as the day he brought them out of the box.
“Think you can make me whine?” Bucky’s voice had drawn itself deep into his chest, teased by Curt who leaned himself in as if he’d finally give Bucky what he wanted, a true taste of what he knew he was missing out on, just to pull away a flash him a grin with front teeth slicked with blood.
“I can do anything.” Curt chirped back.
He pressed his hand into Bucky’s chest again, the other cradling his jaw as he walked him backward and himself forward, a wall behind them eventually where Curt slotted his leg between Bucky’s thick thighs. “What’s the over under?”
Bucky liked to gamble with his work buddies on Saturdays.
Curt would sit by idly near a high stakes poker table or the screen where Bucky and his friends would bet on ponies and he’d drink boozy milkshakes and flirt with the cocktail waitresses he had no interest in for a couple complimentary vouchers for the buffet where he only used the soft serve machine or the gift shop where a collection of cute coffee mugs were sold, and he had his heart set on acquiring them all without spending a dime.
“Not a chance.” Bucky tilted his head back against the wall, his narrow gaze fixed on Curt who hooked his fingers over the waistband of Bucky’s swimming shorts. “I don’t make bets on thoroughbreds without a track record, baby.”
Curt had yet to reveal this particular side of himself.
Sure, he was tough.
He’d bust his lip, his ass or his nose and get back up giggling. He’d fall off and get right back on. He’d argue his side of the story, he’d stand firm in his beliefs.
But he’d never claimed to be dominant in the way he’s portraying now.
The fact that he could wasn’t so much a shock, it was that he chose right then to do it.
“Smart man.” Curt shoved his fingers into Bucky’s mouth, holding him still with his thumb curved beneath his jaw. “On your knees.” He hooked his fingers a little tighter and guided Bucky down to where he balanced on his haunches until his knees fell forward, forcing him to sit on his folded legs where Bucky stared up at him expectantly.
So fucking beautiful.
He already knew what to do, as he’d done it for Curt plenty — his cutoffs were shucked down to his ankles and kicked across the room, his bloody tshirt following suit. Bucky had a hard time figuring how he’d be the one whining instead of Curt until he felt the familiar sensation of tiny fingers threading through his thick brown waves, tugged a little tighter than ever before.
“Go on,” Curt whispered in a shallow breath, “Get me wet for you.”
Bucky could hardly believe his ears, the shock drawing him quickly to obey a Curtis who was typically mounting himself over Bucky right about now, spouting off about how Bucky’s cock is so big and how he can feel it in his tummy.
He worked his tongue over every curve and vein of Curt’s cock only for hips to be drawn closer to his face, his eyes brimming with a sudden surge of cock-teased tears, “Fuck,” Curt grumbled, the blood drying now over his still damp and glimmering skin. “Look so fuckin’ hot with a cock down your throat.”
Rather quickly the spot in Curt’s belly where he held his rage earlier was replaced by the butterfly feeling of having Bucky’s mouth on him — until, of course, Curt had coaxed him into position atop an expensive area rug in the living room, knelt between his thighs once he’d removed Bucky’s slutty swim shorts from his hips.
“Didn’t know how pretty ya’d look like this.” Curt took in the sight of a pink-cheeked Bucky, his thighs spread and his cock achingly hard, curved deliciously over the little trail of hair beneath his bellybutton.
He’d yet to let out a whine, but if he didn’t feel Curtis closer to him soon, he’d be waving a white flag as he went down with the ship. “Kiss me,” it came out in an almost bashful plea as his eyes scanned the lips before him, the dull dried blood brought to life again each time Curt licked his lips. “Please.”
“Ohh,” it was an almost taunting coo. “Got your manners, huh?” A dribble of spit slid past Curt’s parted lips and between Bucky’s spread thighs, his cock slicked gently past the hole that tensed at the sensation. “Relax for me.” Curt whispered, his hips grinding his length against Bucky’s which already twitched. “Show me how good you are.”
Bucky hardly knew if he was able to be good, but he’d try. “Please.” He whispered again, though he was careful not to allow his desperation to show. “Just fuckin’ kiss me.”
Curt rolled his eyes, spitting again but that time it was at Bucky’s chest, tinged pink from the blood still lingering on his tongue. “You don’t make the rules, John.” He basked again at the sight before him — glowing cheekbones, parted lips, hands reaching to spread the dampness Curt had spat onto him around his chest and into his own mouth.
“Not when I got you lookin’ like this.”
It seemed Bucky had leaned into it, his body still tense but his eyes soft as could be.
Curt rut his hips between his cheeks, a rumbled string of groans bubbling from his loins as his right hand milked a couple little pearls of precum from Bucky’s cock that throbbed beneath his grip. “Y’like this, don’t you?” He whispered softly, his usual playfulness still dripping over every word; sticky sweet.
“Yeah, baby.” Bucky gasped, still willing his gaze to focus on what was before him although he was hardly able to discern if it was real or not. “Gonna fuck me?” He felt another sting of anticipation dance over each notch of his spine.
Curt grinned deviously, little body slotted between Bucky’s thighs that could easily overpower him but wouldn’t dare. At least not yet. “Need to get you ready for me,” he reached forward, his fingers slid gently into Bucky’s mouth and over his soft, warm tongue.
It wasn’t long before Curt could hardly stave off his excitement, fingers gentle but prodding against Bucky’s hole that took a finger to the knuckle easier than he’d been expecting, a gasp following suit. “Fuck,” Bucky whispered, his hips instinctively twitching at the unfamiliar sensation. “Fuck — fuck, fuck,”
A second finger, a third.
Lube from a drawer in the coffee table slicked over Curt’s thick fingers as he worked them into Bucky whose brows furrowed, pillowy pink lips parted as gentle huffs escaped them.
“Talk to me, Daddy.” Curt whispered, knelt down between Bucky’s thighs like a predator sizing up its prey that just so happened to be twice the size of himself. “Do I make you feel good?” His fingers worked Bucky open while he pressed rough and starved kisses over his thighs that twitch every now and then.
“Yeah, baby.” Bucky sucked a breath between his teeth, his heart flipping in his chest once Curt’s fingers had found his prostate.
He held in a whine that crept up on him in the very back of his throat and Curtis could tell. “Such a good fuckin’ boy, Curtie. Fuck —“ Bucky threaded his fingers through Curt’s hair, chest heaving once his fingers found a rhythm.
Curt could hardly believe his eyes, falling in love again with a new version of Bucky he’d never met before — all soft hues of pink and deliciously tanned skin, lips glistening with spit and his gorgeous eyes half-hidden behind eyelids that fluttered. “You look so pretty like this.” He mouthed at Bucky’s balls and the base of his cock, pressing sweet kisses against his sensitive skin.
Bucky could hardly deny himself what he wanted anymore as he whispered a gentle plea, “Fuck me.”
Curt hummed between his legs, sitting up slowly to observe yet another angle once he’d carefully withdrew from Bucky altogether to line their hips up, his cock eventually replacing the fingers that gripped Bucky’s thighs instead to spread them wider. “Think you’re ready?” He leaned his chest over Bucky’s, chaste kisses pressed against his open mouth.
“Mhmmm.” Bucky mustered, their kisses hot and wet and sloppy — uncoordinated and needy. He’d never wanted anything more in his life than this. “Put that big cock to use for once.”
An interesting spot he was in to be making snide remarks, Curtis thought, and so he gave him exactly what he’d wanted.
He lined himself up nice and gentle before snapping his hips forward, pulling Bucky closer by his thighs once he’d abruptly buried himself within the tight, wet heat before him.
And there it was.
A long winded whine that started low and gentle had died out high-pitched and breathy right into Curtis’ mouth who continued to lick, kiss and nip at Bucky’s wet lips. “Oh, listen to you.” Curt drawled, allowing John to adjust before his hips had found a slow rhythm, watching as the man beneath him writhed.
“Gonna have you fuckin’ cryin’ for my cock all the time now, hm?”
Bucky choked back a whimper he couldn’t even pretend to hide, desperate and sweat slicked hands grasping onto Curt — anything to hold. “Feels s-so— fuck, baby - “ he could hardly form a coherent thought once Curt picked up his pace, hand hardly big enough to wrap around Bucky’s throat but he kept a tight grip, nonetheless.
Bucky still felt a little shy about this.
A little out of place.
Eventually, the unfamiliarity and pain had quickly tumbled and grew larger into an indescribable pleasure once Curt’s hips had little to hold back any longer, fucking into Bucky relentlessly who took it like he’d been meant to all along.
Uh-uh-uhs were forced out of him, his thighs spread wider and his eyes managing to focus again when he began to pant like he was reaching the finish line.
Curt was so far from done with him.
“Ah-ah,” he withdrew abruptly, watching Bucky writhe again and attempt to pull him back in. “I got you all worked up, don’t I?” His hands smoothed over Bucky’s damp curls, tugging gently. “Takin’ my cock so good, never knew you were such a fuckin’ —“
Bucky sucked in a deep breath and used his legs to flip Curtis onto his back, knocking the wind out of him.
“Think you’re tough now, huh?” He still looked like a fucked-out mess, his eyes half lidded and his heart pounding in his chest. “Had your cock in me and forgot how easy Daddy can have you gagging for him.”
Curt tried to push Bucky’s hands off of him, his cheeks still slathered in dried blood turning pink beneath the mess. “Had you close-“ his rebuttal was quickly snipped once Bucky had slicked his fingers in with lube and brought them between Curt’s cheeks, hooked into him and pulling him closer.
“Get the fuck off me.” Curt tried to put up a fight but his body had been betraying him as his thighs spread for Bucky, his feet lifted from the floor as he moaned at the roughness of it, a punishment it seemed for denying Bucky the pleasure he’d been so vulnerable to receive.
“Nobody takes it like my baby does,” Bucky basked in the familiarity and the tightness around his fingers that hammered into Curt until his thighs were shaking and the back of his knees dripped in sweat. “Isn’t that right?”
Big, fat tears had once again revived the dried blood that had smeared itself over his face by then, every moan that rattled out of him tumbling into a choked sob. “Fuck you.” He whined, his white flag waved with confidence as he went down with the ship Bucky had since abandoned and yet he still managed to put up a fight. “Mother fucker.”
“Oh, that’s not how good boys behave, Curtis.”
Fingers were replaced with Bucky’s cock, Curt’s features softening at the familiar sensation, the one thing he’d ask for on death row.
This is his truest Last Supper.
There was no movement by Bucky, though.
He buried his cock deep into Curtis, swearing to himself that when they were just like this, he could see the bulge of his cock in Curtis’ little belly. “You know what happens when you’re bad, don’t you?”
“I wasnt!” Curt barked, desperately trying to withdrawal from Bucky and snap his hips back again. “I wasn’t bad - I- I wasn’t-“ he was a mess of tears again, the emotions of the day crashing down on him in a heap. “You fuckin’ cocksuckin’—“
The exam he failed, his fight with Rosie, his busted face, and now this.
“Nah,” Bucky held Curt’s thighs to his chest, his cock staying right in its place, not an inch of movement. “Gonna stay just like this until you can show me how sorry you are.”
There, Bucky realized, was his place.
He had never minded being vulnerable with Curtis — in fact, vulnerability was his strong suit.
At first, he was the worst out of the two when it came to expressing his feelings, his thoughts and his emotions.
In the end it was only ever because of the judgement he feared of receiving for loving Curtis. Someone younger than himself, more reckless, with more life to live.
“I’m sorry,” Curt sniffled loudly, a puddle of old blood, tears and a runny nose that threatened to bleed again, the drip metallic and sour in the back of his throat. “I’m so sorry — I - I’ll never be bad again, I promise.”
They both knew a lie when they heard one.
“I’m so good for you.” Curt arched his back, anything for a little friction against his suddenly neglected and angry looking cock. “Look at me — I’m all yours, Bucky. Every part of me — I—“ he sobbed again, reaching down to touch himself but he was abruptly denied, his wrists held above his head. “Fuck me till I can’t fuckin’ breathe.”
Bucky felt sick for being so turned on.
A whimpering, whining, crying Curtis before him with a hot and hard cock that leaked beautifully against the little trail of hair below his bellybutton. “Oh, my pretty baby.” He cooed, reaching forward to wipe his crybaby tears away and granting him just a bit of movement when he did. “I couldn’t let you forget, honey — look what I’ve done to you.”
Curt tried again to surge forward and gain an upper hand, but it was disastrously useless.
Bucky was far stronger than he, even despite being fucked open just a moment ago. “Dunno what I’m gonna do with you.” He murmured, pulling away from Curtis at once and bringing him gently to his feet, holding him against the wall where Bucky felt he’d be doing his knees and Curt’s back a favor once he lifted him up off the ground and around his waist.
It was brutal after that, and for once Curt was unsure he could handle it. “Too much! T-too much,” he whimpered, but Bucky could hardly be bothered. “It’s too much — I can’t-“
If it was truly too much, Curt knew what he needed to say.
A safe word was set in stone the first time Curt had passed out and hit the floor, his brow split open.
All he cared about when he came to was finishing, though — even with an almost-crying Bucky and Gale in his face, worried beyond reason.
“Yes, you can, baby.” Bucky groaned, knowing full well Curt’s orgasm was dependent on the completion of his own.
Didn’t matter how much Curt was fucked.
If he wasn’t full of it, he just couldn’t get off.
A rather endearing blessing, but a curse just the same.
“I can’t Bucky, I can’t.” A wreck he was — and Bucky loved reducing him to such a state. Babbling, whining, his voice strained through the tears he choked on. “S’too much.”
Luckily, it was enough to sputter Bucky’s hips forward, hips rolling into Curt to milk his orgasm while Curt’s hole fluttered around his cock, his little body pulsing as he threw his head back against the wall where he thumped a few brain cells loose.
Bucky reached up to hold the back of his head, clicking his tongue. “There you go, honey,” he whispered gently to a Curtis whose body trembled through an earth shattering orgasm, “Let it all go, baby. Look at how much you’re givin’ me.”
Curt’s body was covered in sweat, blood, tears and now a splattered mess of his devotion to Bucky — hot and wet; sticky and so fucking sweet.
Bucky plopped them both onto the couch, Curt’s body wrapping around him and refusing to give his cock back despite it growing softer by the minute. “I love you.” He hiccuped into Bucky’s neck, the emotions flooding back to him once he’d been dumped right back into his reality — the one where he failed his test and more than likely lost a friend. “So much.”
“C’mon, Curt. Y’know I love you more than anything.” Bucky smoothed his hands over Curt’s damp curls, pulling his face away from the curve of his neck to look at him. “What’s goin’ on with you?”
He couldn’t talk about it now.
Just wanted to be here, in Bucky’s lap, the warmth of their love still burning inside him. “Later.” He whispered, sniffling loudly. “I’ll tell you later.”
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nadjaandlaszlo · 2 years
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bear with me while I have some thoughts about two scenes/lines that they were absolutely INSANE to include in the same episode
I am, of course, talking about “his name is Blackbeard or Captain” VS “his name is Ed”
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I’m sure tons of people have already talked about these two moments from episode 10 but I’m new to the fandom and having thoughts and am physically incapable of NOT writing this entire post <3
So firstly, Izzy’s aggressive tone VS Stede’s gentle one. This one tiny detail is literally making me insane. Because there’s Izzy, thinking he’s doing the right thing, building Ed up, keeping him in his position as a commander as always. He’s being harsh and aggressive because that’s what he’s like, that’s what the Ed he knows is like, that’s what he’s used to and he can’t accept that there has been a pretty dramatic change. I believe Izzy truly does care about Ed, but his way of showing that is through putting him on a pedestal, making him untouchable, putting down everyone else around him. He tries to show his care through his actions and his determination. He does not see Ed as his equal, only ever as his superior.
Then there’s Stede’s softness. Soft voice, soft expression, soft everything. He never once tries to put Ed in some godlike position of worship - sure, like the rest of the crew there’s admiration for the world’s greatest pirate, but he always treats Ed like an equal. He shows his love for Ed in this one sentence, through these few little words in a way that Izzy never could. It’s the equality Stede shows Ed that is the biggest sign of their love, and it’s this understanding of him that makes Stede’s “his name is…” so much more meaningful than Izzy’s. Izzy has respect for Ed, sure, and he loves him in one way or another - but he will never, could never, love and understand him the soft, subtle, equal way that Stede does.
It’s also about Stede knowing Ed better than Izzy does too, I suppose. It’s Stede’s understanding of Ed, even after such a short time of knowing him, that leads him to be so much softer, so much more personal, so much more human.
Then there’s what happens directly after each of these lines, and oh boy, this is where I lose my mind.
Directly after Izzy’s line, Ed says that he actually does want to be called Ed. Directly after Stede’s line, Ed pushes Lucius off the boat. Both of these are direct contradictions of what both of them think about Ed and they throw EVERYTHING into question.
Izzy’s line and Ed’s response are a clear indication of the change Stede’s departure has had on Ed. It shows this emotional side of him, out in full force unlike we’ve ever seen it before. It shows how willing and ready Ed was to move on, how much he wants to leave Blackbeard behind, how much was really resting on his relationship with Stede. It shows how vulnerable he’s become, dropping every act and pretence, being the Ed that only Stede knew in front of everyone. It’s this that gives Stede’s “his name is…” so much weight, because up until then we think the same - his name is Ed, that’s what he wants, that’s who he’s discovered himself as.
But then Stede says his line and the next shot is Ed pushing Lucius off the boat. A total u-turn. Because Stede’s recognition of what love is, his acceptance and readiness to be with Ed forever - it’s all come too late. Suddenly we have to question whether this understanding Stede has means anything at all, whether Izzy’s “his name is…” is actually more accurate, whether Edward Teach is really Stede’s version or Izzy’s version or someone neither of them truly know. So sure, “his name is Ed” means everything to Stede, but everything it meant to Ed is erased the very next moment.
Which is why they were absolutely insane to include these two lines so close because it’s so much to unpack and such a testament to Izzy, Stede, and even Ed himself. It showcases the most fundamental differences between Stede and Izzy, then Ed comes along and throws everything up in the air again. It writes and rewrites so much about what we already know about these characters and their stories in just a few moments and I am very much not okay (in the best way possible).
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poppyseed799 · 5 months
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btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.
#warning: don’t open up these tags I went on a very heated and rather unrelated rant cuz I’ve been mad#trafficblr#life series#secret life spoilers#secret life smp#jimmy solidarity#also I’m sick of seeing ppl celebrate Jimmy surviving because they hate the canary curse fans like SHUT UP!!! LET US HAVE FUN GOD!!!#LIKE LITERALLY EVEN IF NOBODY CAME UP WITH THE CANARY METAPHOR WE WOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALWAYS DYING OK WE DIDNT MAKE UP THAT#HE DIES FIRST HE JUST DOES. GOD. so what if some people make shakespeare sounding posts about the curse that I don’t understand. we are JUST#having fun and making connections where we don’t need to BECAUSE ITS FUN. NOT CUZ WE DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. sorry for the past few#days I’ve been genuinely mad at this fandom’s growing hatred towards its own community.#LIKE IM FINE IF ITS NOT YOUR THING BUT GOD. WE ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING 😭😭😭 THE LORE LITERALLY WRITES ITSELF OR IS WRITTEN BY MARTYN LOL#I’ve just been getting SO TILTED man. like ohhh yeah okay ur right i said too much guess I won’t say anything anymore#does anyone else genuinely not know wtf ppl are talking about when they say a certain hc takes over everything about the character#cuz I literally see so much varied Jimmy content yet I’ve seen several ppl complain that ppl ignore aspects of his character in favor of#WHATEVER when I literally don’t see that happening to him. step out of ur circle or something I don’t even HAVE a circle man
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mattodore · 2 months
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okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while
xoxo <3
their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.
matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.
​i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.
as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.
#river dipping#asks#anonymous#oc extras#nsft#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like#normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously#......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk#my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information#like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest#and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up#theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him#and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well.#good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors#matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past...#but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare'#but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's#domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit#matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does#for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker#like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that.#….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭#whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare
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