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giamee · 10 hours

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🌐 ᯓ★୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 '𝐍 𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐘!

hsr men x f!reader .... SMUT!! 🚨🚨🚨

request ؛ ଓ @coreakin-sakarat What will the honkai star rail men play when yr having sex and who bottom or both and do they go rithm oh oh and do they use toys on u and what are their favorite parts of ur body to fuck

gia's notes ؛ ଓ i did this as more of me just... talkin abt what i think the hsr men are like in bed in order from least to most freaky in my humble opinion. i hope that you like it even though i didn't exactly hit every point u brought up :(

DAN HENG .ᐟ୨୧ starting it off sweet with him, i see dan heng as more of a bottom than anything... he's not super experienced, quite a tender lover, and i see him as remaining quite serious and stoic within the bedroom too. definitely more of a slow and sensual pace, just wants to feel it all with you <3 he's quite hesitant to try things out imo, but i reckon that you could convince him to try out using toys with some convincing! 1000% a thigh guy, really likes pulling out and painting your thighs with his cum as he watches them shake. presses kisses to your forehead as you come down from both of your highs. lowkey i get the vibe that the aftercare and the cuddling and falling asleep together is more satisfying to him than having sex. THIS MAN CRAVES SKIN TO SKIN!!!! he will interlace your fingers while fucking and kiss all over your face!!! a very sweet lover <3

GEPARD .ᐟ୨୧ this man SCREAMS pleasure service top to me. he could cum in his pants just by watching you i swear. he just wants to satisfy you as best as he can :((( your wish is his command frfr. he'll put you in whatever positions you want fully customisable experience just say the word. will sometimes pause midway through sex just to ask you if he's doing a good job and if it feels good with his big puppy dog eyes AWEE. i think he would probably be a little hesitant to try out toys, especially at first? his logic reverts to him assuming that he wasn't good enough at pleasuring you and so you have to revert to a piece of plastic... but be a bit dominant and show, don't tell, him just how good a vibrator can feel and he'll be a lot more on board with the idea <3 his whole mentality is just.. do anything to give you pleasure so if you're on the freakier side, this man is game! (PEG HIM) the little sadistic side of you gets a kick seeing tears well up in his eyes if you edge him just to hear his whines and moans... he might be a top but this man is a sub thru and thru. a bad bitch (you) tells him what to do and he listens!! anyways back to when you and him are fucking... this man is just utterly in love with your pussy, they way it gushes and clenches around him, and his absolute favourite position is any where he gets to just bury his face in ur tits while he's buried inside of you because everything is just so comforting and all of him is now surrounded by something so warm and soft... he's in heaven <3 so yeah he's a tits guy who would have thought!! no matter the shape or size HE'S PUTTING THEM IN HIS MOUTH <3 his thrusts get real sloppy at the end when he's about to cum too, starts babbling in your ear about how good it feels and how much he loves u. what a cutie pie

ARGENTI .ᐟ୨୧ to be honest? i had to think a bit about this one. to me, argenti doesn't really seem like the type to bring up using toys... but that doesn't mean that he isn't game if you mention it. he seems ... not passive exactly? but he just seems like the type to go with the flow with sex. whatever you're into he'll just be like shit i'm down let's go. not kinky per se, but he's definitely a passionate lover. very much wants to explore sensuality. ooh maybe he would be into some sort of wax play or blindfold type behaviour i take it back. would probably chuckle if you decide to get on top and place his hands on your hips to help you adjust to his size and set your own pace <3 very loving, wants to celebrate the beauty of your naked body and worship it in the name of adrila. so yeah if you've got a praise kink, HE'S YOUR MAN!!! you feel like the subject of a poem as he sings your praises, telling you how pretty you look and sound when you cum. like shiiiii that would be enough to make me blush <33 in terms of pace and stuff, i feel like he would be pretty standard? maybe on the slower side because of... you know... passion. it's nothing crazy but still a good time. he seems like he prefers to be looking up at you so RIDE THAT MAN!! maintain eye contact as you sink down on it. raise your hips back up ever so slowly and watch the slightest twitch of his brow as you swivel your hips, sinking back down on it ever so slowly. you might just see him blush. and just as the name suggests, the knight of beauty is a SIGHT to behold when he cums (probably inside).

WELT .ᐟ୨୧ yeah peepaw has got some EXPERIENCE to him lmaoo. he's got a sort of... cheekier? side to him. as an older man, though, he doesn't exactly have the same stamina as he did in his youth :( but that doesn't mean that he can't still get down and dirty with you!! quite the opposite actually. so his solution? he uses toys on you <3 he's more of a bottom but he is DEFINITELY in charge. his dirty talk OMFGG im giggling just thinking about it he would praise you and whisper such sweet words to you as he slowly splits you open on his fat cock, telling you how you're such a good girl for taking him so well, how you feel so good around him, all so he can feel you clench around him like a vice grip as he finally bottoms out <33 def would just have his hands around your waist as he moves you up and down his length when you're feeling weightless. but if he's in a more passive mood, he also LOVESSSS just sitting back and watching you struggle to ride him with a lazy adoring look in his eyes as he holds a vibrator to your clit <333 he'll coo at you as you start crying from the overstimulation, his hands wiping away your tears so tenderly and encouraging you to keep going just for him <3 a little bit of a sadistic side to him because he really does just love watching you squirm. another thigh and ass guy imo, really loves the way they jiggle as they slam down against his own thighs as you start to pick up the pace and ride him with increasing desperation. also loves watching them shake when you cum <3. so yeah as a no brainer i think one of his favourite positions would be reverse cowgirl. yum <3

BOOTHILL .ᐟ୨୧ now dont get me wrong this man FUCKS. since he's a cyborg does his dick count as a toy...? yeah fuck it let's go with it HIS BIOCOCK VIBRATES!! so the sensations on that will go CRAZYYYY. and then i'm thinking because of his synthesia beacon and stuff he doesn't exactly experience much sensation down there. so when you're having sex, what gets him off the most is just seeing your pleasure as you unravel. makes him feel good vicariously <3 so yeah definitely a missionary lover in my eyes so he can watch all your facial expressions and reactions as he hits all the right places, how your brows furrow and your eyes slide shut and eyes roll back in your head as he keeps up his unforgiving pace at juuuuust the right angle <33 but don't get me wrong he's no vanilla bitch either!! if he wants to be feeling more ... sensations he can and will make you just sit on his face for actual HOURS just eating you out to his heart's content. you'd think that his tongue is cybernetic too with the way it flicks across your clit at a borderline INHUMAN speed. but no he's just that good. some of ur most intense orgasms have been from him tonguefucking you like this, his head firmly sandwiched between your quivering thighs as you're basically humping his face as u ride out your high. and hey, he's not complaining <3 and then his smug shit-eating grin does NOT help at all when you're still trying to come back down to earth and he's sitting up wiping the slick off his face with that hungry look STILL in his eyes good lord i hope u can survive the night. this bastard has definitely ruined toys for you, they just don't feel the same any more <//3

BLADE .ᐟ୨୧ fucks hard. angry and/or jealous sex with him has just gotta be >>> 😮‍💨😮‍💨 he's on the rougher side and for MOST of the time will dom. and also tbh i don't really see him as being the type to use toys since he's more spontaneous in terms of having sex (public sex. he's got a high sex drive) but very very passionate for sure- lots of grunts and low moans right up in ur ear mhhhnrng. but also at the same time i feel like he would be quite emotionally detached from sex at first, seeing it as more like stress relief than an act of intimacy? and don't get me wrong, some of the best fucks of your life have come from him when he's just trying to release some pent up anger, but on the flip side there's a more vulnerable side to him, almost. one that's barely there any more from years of bitterness and resentment, but still manages to creep up on him on those late nights where he can't quite sleep. so if you're with him on those rare occasions, this is when you experience him not fucking you, but making LOVE. he won't talk, but he doesn't need to, not with the way he's holding you close to him and kissing you with something akin to desperation as he sinks into you and kind of just... stays there for a bit. it's oddly comforting to him, and if he's feeling especially weak he'll need some comfort- just to get him through the night. it's these nights where you take control more, setting a slow and sweet pace and kind of just... hushing him and whispering sweet words to him as you slowly let yourself grind over him, feeling the way he twitches inside of u <333 but yeah back to not vulnerable blade. a fan of quickies for sureeee (see: high sex drive) another tit guy because i am biased. the force of his thrusts in some dark alleyway or hidden corner will have them jiggling and threatening to fall out of whatever shirt you wear. and if he's got you lifted up in his arms, your legs wrapped around him as you're chest to chest with each other, he just can't tear his eyes away from your boobs. leaves bites on them, laves over them like a damn dog until they're coated in saliva and stiff and perked up because of how cold it feels when drying on your skin. if you're in doggystyle, you'll feel his hands clasp over them from behind, a few short and sweet squeezes to them before his blunt nails are flicking over your nipples just to hear you squeal <3

AVENTURINE .ᐟ୨୧ just like blade, he very much has two different modes. let's start with the freaky one bc that's fun. he's quite open to experiment with all aspects of sex- who's in charge, who's topping, toys, positions, you name it. he trusts you enough to do anything with or to you short of causing each other pain. so yeah he's a freak alright!! i feel like if you're in an established relationship, he'll feel guilty due to the amount if time that he spends away from you because of his job, and make it up to you by spoiling you with gifts... he loves to buy you new toys to try out as he sits back and just watches as you squirm and then writhe in pleasure as he slowly palms himself, eventually unzipping his trousers and jerking himself off until he cums all over u <33 definitely gets a kick out of seeing his cum painting your pretty face and how your tongue darts out to catch it before it drips onto the floor <333 or maybe he just strokes himself to stay hard, his eyes hungrily watching you as your own remain transfixed on his cock, the flushed tip disappearing with every stroke of his hand, the slick noises of his precum overpowering the buzzing hum of the dildo inside of you. and then when neither of you can handle the tension any more, dying to feel each other's touch, after you've cum a couple of times and are all nice and sensitive for him, then and ONLY then will he finally put it in, quickly setting a pace to fuck your brains out like a wild animal <3 lovessss doggystyle or the speedbump position because then he's all up in your guts and ur moans/screams of pleasure are just music to his ears. definitely the type to go a little feral bc... yeah. so yeah that's freaky mode! but like blade he has a softer side to him UNLIKE blade it is still definitely there and more accessible... but that doesn't mean he exposes it to you just like that either. but yeah if he's feeling more vulnerable emotionally, especially right after he wakes up from a nightmare while you're groggily waking up next to him, he just needs comfort. you holding him and stroking his hair, telling him how he's safe and how much you love him. if you've been together for a while and he really trusts you, he might even cry. almost begs you to call him kakavasha instead of aventurine, and you oblige. and then as soon as his name leaves your lips, he's kissing you hard, gradually letting them become tender as you undress each other with the utmost amount of care. it's love that motivates him, from what you can feel from his fingers tracing your skin and how soft his lips press against yours. he lets out a quiet moan as he sinks into you and basks in your warmth for a bit, letting his arms now wrap around your frame tightly, holding you to himself as if you would disappear any moment. and you hug him too, draw patterns on his back, stroke his hair and hum as you tell him how much you love him, listening to the sound of his shaky breaths as you slowly raise your hips, sinking back down inch by inch to hear him hiss. at first, he would still refuse to let you see his face when you have sex like this, not until you gently coax him to look at you, and you see the crystalline tears already escaping from his eyes. he's definitely the type to cry during sex like this- something so soft and tender that it's overwhelming to him for so many reasons- the vulnerability of it all, how much you love and care for him written all over your face, the way you squeeze against him so perfectly. and then he buries his face in your chest as you keep whispering words of affirmation to him and he cums so fast, deep inside of you and then he stays even when he feels himself go soft. just because it feels nice. and he falls asleep just like that, clinging to you, the person he loves.

JING YUAN .ᐟ୨୧ another member of team lazy but pussydrunk (him and welt have permanent memberships lmfao) whenever the two of you fuck it usually starts with him making you work for it. involving either you getting off by grinding on his thigh or riding him, desperately throwing your weight back onto him to even simulate the feeling of his powerful thrusts- all in vain as he merely sits there, looking up at you with a maddening smile and just WATCHING you... what a creep <3 but yeah he loves loves loves seeing how worked up and whiny you get for him to do something, anything, just for him to do the exact opposite, placing two firm hands on your hips to effectively get you to stop, and you whine again from the loss of friction. and he'll merely smile, telling you how you're such a good girl for him, getti my off from watching you get so so close, just to do it over and over again. orgasm denial and edging really are his two best friends fr. so he's not really a strict dom but more of a tease, you get me? i think that YES he will use toys. really gets a kick out of vibrating panties or a vibrator inside of you that he can remote control <33 just really enjoys when you're in public trying to remain composed (what a creep <3) keeps u constantly stimulated all day, finally making it up to you when you both get back home, fucking you properly as you're on the verge of tears and ready to cum any second. hmmm hear me out on this but i think his favourite place to cum would be your back.. like yeah finishing inside is cool and all but pulling out and cumming all over your back just drives him CRAZY and ready for another round... as soon as you recover <3

LUOCHA .ᐟ୨୧ LORDDDDDD he's like jing yuan but even WORSE. he's dangerous too because in his eyes, it isn't him or a toy but him AND a toy. this man will have u in his lap thighs spread legs hanging over his knees so he can keep them open as he has one hand gripping your chin forcing to look at yourself in a mirror, the other hand holding a vibe to yr clit <33 every time your eyes start to roll back he'll do a light slap to your face, forcing you to hold eye contact with him through the mirror, his feline eyes dancing with mirth at your already fucked-out expression. and then when he's sure that his gaze is holding your attention, he'll let go of your face, letting his hand snaie downwards until his hands are collecting your slick on his fingers before pushing into you, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek that contradicts how hard he's fingering you <3 squirting is not an achievement but the new standard with him!! that man is NOT relenting until you coat his arm and the floor (even the mirror) he really likes making you kiss him just after you cum- when your brain is foggy from the intensity of your orgasm, you can barely hear, let alone process what he's saying, and when u finally manage to connect your lips to his the kiss is just so sweet n sloppy, showing how worked up he is already <33 he's a little mean with it but you wouldn't have it any other way!! because that man knows what you need and will DELIVER. and he loves alllll of you. especially your pussy. and ass lol

DR RATIO .ᐟ୨୧ ok stay with me now cos this one's more of a scenario but!!! imagine that you haven't seen veritas in a while because you've both been busy but he messages you, saying how he'll finally be back soon!!! and ur just so excited that you can't contain it, and all those lonely nights are starting to tally up... your hands just don't do the trick any more and you finally cave, getting out your old reliable dildo to try and satiate your lust. trying your hardest to focus on veritas while you fuck yourself so that you'll be able to cum... pretending that it's his cock instead of some silicone... moaning out his name into your room with your eyes screwed shut to try trick your brain into believing that it's really him!! and it seems to work because you can feel that coil in you begin to tighten, and just when ur about to cum you feel a hand on top of yours, startling you out of your impending orgasm. and you open your eyes to see none other than the man who you had been fantasising about just now <3 and he's got this smirk on his face and a certain look in his eyes, and when you glance down you can see that he isn't exactly... unaffected from watching you earlier <33 i feel like he would degrade you a little, calling you such a stupid girl for needing to think of him just to even get close to cumming <333 and you'll whine and get embarrassed, trying to hide yourself with the covers, but deep down you know he's right so you peek at him from behind your lashes, batting them and begging him to help you as sweetly as you can. and how can he deny you when you're just so sweet and submissive for him? he'll be quick to take out his cock, slipping the head through your folds, letting it catch as it skims past your needy hole, letting the tip slap against your sensitive clit just to watch your whole body twitch as he chuckles to himself before bullying his cock into you. even after fucking yourself it's still a stretch, especially cos he has you in a mating press, his strong hands keeping your thighs pinned as he puts hisbweight behind his thrusts, really slamming into you until you're bouncing back against the mattress <33 a good hard fuck that hits all the right spots he needs to in order for you to cum HARD. but if he's feeling mean, he won't even oblige your request, instead being all smug and settling back on his haunches, goading you to keep going and make yourself cum without him because you're just so close, you can do it. watches your pathetic attempts to do so as you huff and beg him because you just can't without him <//3 and maybe if you beg hard enough he'll consider helping you out... even though it's just so entertaining to watch you keep trying. ironically enough, it's the way he calls you his sweet girl as he finally pushes into you that sends you over the edge more than any of your own touches did. and once you ride out that high, body no longer convulsing on his dick, he'll pull out of you just to flip you onto your stomach, then pull your hips up to meet his before fucking into you to make you really cum because of him this time <33

SAMPO .ᐟ୨୧ this man is MOST DEFINITELY an experimentalist!!! 1000% down for literally anything. you use toys on each other el oh el. the epitome of a switch. he'll top or bottom too, it's always a good time with him. definitely a freak. tbh i headcanon him as having a crazy oral fixation... if he's not sucking on your tits already then put your fingers in his mouth!! he'll have hearts swimming in his eyes, especially if you let them slide to the back of his throat until he gags and his eyes get all teary!!! definitely a sight to behold if u start fingerfucking his throat. or maybe just gag him with your panties, letting urself hear his muffled whines and moans as you finally free his cock and deepthroat him <33 oh god his whines and moans... get this man on twitter NEEOOOWWW. as a top he's definitely more goofy about it, not super strict. sex is about making sure you both feel good and just having a good time im his eyes.

GALLAGHER .ᐟ୨୧ ... this man... a certified freak. me personally im not into it but IF U LIKE ANAL THIS IS UR GUY 1000%%%. he def loves ur ass more than anything. the type to stick a finger in as he makes out with you or just let his finger tease the ring of muscle, circling it ever so slowly to feel u squirm while sat naked in his lap. when he eats you out he'll let his tongue drop a little lower to tease both of your holes. if u let him he'll eat your ass with GUSTO. and YES he's using toys on you you're not safe... buttplugs with the cute jewel on them and when you're in public he'll give your ass a slap or squeeze just to see your face change as you feel it press a little deeper into you... he'll have a vibrator fucking into your pussy as he's all up in your guts, laughing at the way you can't even form words right now. yeahhh he's a FREAK. oh and did i mention that he's an ass guy??

SUNDAY .ᐟ୨୧ ohohoho. this man has actual YEARS of pent up sexual frustration under his belt. his wings. whatever. he's a man who thrives off of control, and this is no exception in the bedroom. massive dom. both soft and hard. but more hard <3. really gets off on u calling him sir LAWLLL. lowkey i see him being into some real freaky bdsm stuff... cos hes got the whole sexually repressed catholic thing going on n all yknow. likes seeing u kneeled w your hands tied behind your back. you stripped naked while hes fully clothed and smiling so sweetly as he watches you try and get yourself off by humping his shoe. anything for that power imbalance with him hrrrrng. and if youre feeling a bit more bratty, touch his wings. preen them, blow air on them, even grip onto them HARD with your fingers and it'll get him all riled up. and then that sweet smiling facade will drop and youll see his eyes change into something a touch more feral as he pins u down and fucks u hard and properly. just to remind u who's really in control <3. the aftercare goes crazy, naturally. but then i also saw this post talking abt how hes a PEOPLE PLEASER and i agree 10000% so when he's feeling more soft, your pleasure is his greatest reward. a headrush mix of sweet praise and filthy degradation. telling you how you're a nasty bitch who's just so good for him... how you take him so well like the filthy slut you are.... and he's just so so composed during it all like an ANGEL EHFHWJFJE it makes ur head spin istg. yeah he's a freak in the sheets LOLL

IF YOU LIKED THIS, TRY ...... eat it 'til your teeth rot!

[ SMUT ] how the hsr men eat pussy!

alternatively, find my hsr masterlist here! ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊

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waldau · 3 days

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how they take care of you — seventeen | 2,531 words | hurt/comfort, fluff

i didn't know i liked writing ot13 this much!

gender neutral reader. warnings: reader is stressed out/tired/scared/ill/sad? y'know, the usual spectrum of negative human emotions?

seungcheol

gets so concerned when he hears a hitch in your voice when you greet him that he drops whatever he’s doing and rushes to you. doesn’t matter if he’s on a call or if he’s doing some important paperwork, he’s all yours now.

gives you a big, comforting hug that tries to shield you from everything but him. kisses your head to try and ground you.

doesn’t make you talk if you don’t want to, but he insists that you don’t keep it in for too long because it’s only going to hurt you in the end. lasts only for a while before asking if there's someone that needs some talking to for making you feel this sad.

tries to do anything in his power to see you smile, even if it's momentary. shows you a funny picture of his favourite child (mingyu) to cheer you up. asks if you feel okay enough to walk kkuma with him, because she needs some time with her other favourite person (you).

“you know i love you, right? that's never changing.”

jeonghan

is proud to be the person that becomes your comfort when something doesn’t go right, or when you’ve had a bad day.

immediately bottles up any jokes he’s about to make and wipes away your tears, stops only when you bat his hands away. even if he doesn’t want to let go of you, he respects your boundaries.

when you're feeling a bit better, he pulls you down into the sofa and cuddles with you, and is content whether you choose to tell him what’s on your mind, or if you want to be silent and fiddle with his shirt instead.

kisses your forehead and looks into your eyes when he promises you that it’s just one bad day, and that he’s always here for all the others. links pinkies with you because he knows how much it means to you, even if it may seem childish.

will resort to tickling you to make the last traces of your sadness vanish, and asks if there’s anything else he can do to make you smile.

joshua

comes to pick you up from work because he has a free day, and realizes something’s wrong the moment you greet him hello without even looking at his face for more than two seconds.

doesn’t make a big deal out of it, though. takes your stuff from you and greets you softly. opens the door for you and buckles your seat belt. asks you if it’s okay that he’s not taking you home first, because there’s some place else he wants to take you.

dismisses any concerns you have about not looking “good enough” to go out, because you look absolutely gorgeous at any time of the day, and he’d never lie about something like this to you. lets you choose whatever music you want as he weaves through the traffic on the streets, telling you about his day.

parks the car and gets out to hold your hand in his as he guides you over to the many stalls, asking you to pick whatever you want to eat. sits next to you on one of the benches overlooking the river, your legs swinging as you lean into his side and enjoy your meal. is glad he could take care of you like this because you needed it.

“trust me when i say whatever happened is not your fault, okay, sweetheart?”

junhui

is more confident in his actions than his words, because he can immediately notice the little changes in your behaviour: your tired smile, and the way you’re kind of curled in on yourself, as if trying to take up less space.

gives you a long hug with lots of cheek kisses and pulls you into the kitchen to show you what he’s working on: a dish that coincidentally happens to be your comfort food. it’s your favourite, especially when jun makes it in his own style.

this six foot man becomes small as he tries to do anything to make you smile. hates that you’re even feeling this way. throws random pickup lines at you to see which one gets you to crack and slap his arm and tell him to stop (he won’t, because he loves you too much).

offers to feed you dinner once it’s ready and makes random airplane noises that bring out a giggle from you. watches as you eat slowly and is glad when he sees your bowl is empty. doesn’t resist your offer of feeding him dinner once you’re done.

hides under the blankets with you and watches cat videos till your eyes shut from exhaustion and his arm hurts from holding up the phone from so long. cuddles with you and doesn’t let go even when you halfheartedly complain about how warm it is.

soonyoung

becomes so gentle that it pulls you out of your dullness a bit, makes you wonder where your usually hyperactive boyfriend is.

doesn’t baby you because he knows you don’t like it, but he makes sure you get everything you need. calls his mother to ask her the exact recipe for this soup she used to feed him when he used to get ill. stays by your side even when you have a raging fever and you’re worried he’s going to catch it if he kisses your cheek one more time.

doesn’t complain even once when you wake him up because of how uncomfortable you’re feeling. what else is he there for, if he can’t take care of the person he loves the most? wraps himself along with you in your blanket even if it’s hot enough that he can just melt.

is your hype man when you finally get better enough to start moving around the house by yourself. watches you with the biggest smile on his face that he will not tamp down when he sees you eating the soup he made, and almost cries with joy when you ask him for a second serving.

doesn’t blame you one bit when he catches the same bug a week later, because you’re there to take care of him through it, and because he loves you too much for it to be an issue.

wonwoo

gently pulls you into his chest the moment he sees your tear-streaked cheeks, and rests his head on yours. doesn’t ask you what’s wrong because he feels it’s more important to make you feel better.

doesn’t care that your tears are leaving behind a spot on his shirt, and shushes you for even pointing it out. in fact he wants you to do that so that you can run out of tears and he can take care of you properly.

gives you his hoodie to wear because it’s oversized on you, and he loves seeing you in it just as much as you love wearing it.

makes you wrap your arms around his waist from behind and cling onto him while he goes about the house finishing his share of chores. does yours without asking if he senses you’re too drained out to do them.

absolutely needs you by his side regardless of what he’s doing, whether it’s playing a game or brushing his teeth. offers to read you a book if you’re having trouble falling asleep. tells you he loves you in the lowest voice possible when he sees you finally asleep against his chest, breathing evened out.

jihoon

might not very verbal, but when it comes to you, he knows exactly what to do to make things better.

knows you’re in his studio when the door shuts, but you don’t greet him. decides to finish some edits on the song he’s working on before he turns to you, only to find you lying on the sofa facing away from him.

genuinely sad to hear you had a bad day. he got through today only because of all the encouraging texts you sent him. decides the least he can do is return the favour.

wraps you in your favourite blanket that he always keeps at the studio for when you visit. holds your hand regardless of whether you want to talk or not. offers to order food to the studio so that he can make sure you’re not hungry.

very thankful that you came to him because you were feeling down, and he very much wants to call it a day and take you home so that he can cuddle with you and make your day just a bit better.

seokmin

his mood almost always mirrors yours, so when he sees you so exhausted and down, his heart genuinely hurts.

not a confrontational person, but he’s willing to fight whatever made you sad, even if it was a table you stubbed your toe on. happy that it brings a smile to your face even if he didn’t actually fight anything.

have you seen his arms? wraps them around you till you push him off with a bit of a smile on your face. he then decides he wants to use them to bake something for you. you’re the better baker between the two of you and since he’s got loads of time today, he decides he wants to learn something that he can make the next time you’re away and he doesn’t have to feel that lonely.

is your own personal jukebox. belts out whatever song you want, and does a mini infinite aju nice in the comfort of your kitchen, making you jump while the oven works, till you’re tired and actually smiling.

“it’ll be okay, i promise. i love you.”

mingyu

hates that you had a nightmare but is thankful that he was sleeping right next to you when it happened.

the biggest cuddle bug you’ll ever see you in your life. when you wake him up with a shaky voice, he immediately blinks out of his sleep and holds you in his arms. he’ll hug you and keep hugging you till he can drain your sadness even just a little.

doesn’t matter how late it is; if you can’t go back to sleep, he’ll pull you to the kitchen and make his ramen just for you. makes you help him chop some ingredients and stir the broth so that you feel involved. keeps purposely bumping into you every time you cross paths and takes a kiss as payment.

finds some cheesy, slow music to dance to and gently pulls you all over the kitchen, twirling you and even bending you as the song ends. loves hearing your laugh when he pulls you back up.

“i hope you dream of me when you sleep again. i love you.”

minghao

words aren’t necessary when he can just take care of you the way you always deserve to be taken care of.

actually gets upset (a little) when you apologize for crying in front of him. who else will make you feel better when you’re down if not for him? makes you promise never to feel nervous to be emotional around him.

runs a bath for you and makes your favourite food. when you’re done with dinner and feeling a bit better, he takes you to bed and cuddles with you, wanting you to focus on his breathing so you can calm yourself. he whispers endearments into your ear. also makes sure you know how proud he is of you for getting through today.

would give you the entire world if he could, but when you tell him the only thing you want is him, he promises you he’s never going anywhere, no matter what happens.

“i’m so lucky to call myself yours, my love. always.”

seungkwan

he can never stand seeing his loved ones sad, so when he sees you, he needs to find a way to make your smile get back to your face.

sees your lips wobble when you say hello to him, and he eventually coaxes the issue out of you: your friends had ditched a get-together you’d been planning at the last minute, and they didn’t even have the decency to apologize for it. he feels extremely angry on your behalf and is ready to curse. doesn’t do it only because it won’t help you.

thinks about what he can do to make you happy. asks if he can take you out on a drive tonight so you can watch the stars with him. when you regretfully decline the offer, he asks if you want to create a blanket fort and watch movies or go to sleep.

it’s not long before he’s constructing a blanket fort for the first time in his life thanks to some youtube tutorials. he’s upset when it collapses right in the middle of constructing it, but he realizes he’d build it a hundred times more if it meant you’d laugh the way you just did.

sets up snacks and your favourite drinks after a while. keeps apologizing to you on behalf of your so-called friends till you tell him to stop. promises that he’s always going to be with you, and that you don’t have to be sad when you’re with him. falls asleep with you in his arms, and a smile on your face, snacks and movies forgotten.

hansol

feels bad the moment he sees you try to mask the sadness on your face with a smile.

better with actions than words, so he kisses your forehead and trails you around the house while you try to relax from the day you had. if you’re really sad, he lets you just rest your head against his collarbone and breathe till you feel better.

“you’ve got this, and you’ve got me, okay? i’m right here.”

has a bunch of handmade coupons for whenever you feel sad. each coupon has the same four options: eat, talk, watch a movie, sleep. does whatever you choose, whether it’s only one or all four.

another one who has no problem with prolonged eye contact. he looks at you till you understand that he loves you more than he can say and that he’s always there for you when you feel like this.

chan

always used to being babied by his older brothers, so he feels happy to get a chance to take care of you. just doesn’t like the fact that you’re sad, because you deserve to be anything but.

very transparent with his affection for you. he whispers “i love you” into your hair when you ask him for a hug, shouts it across the living room when you come out to get some water, and holds your hand under the table during dinner even if it’s inconvenient.

if you’re really down, and don’t feel like talking, he bundles you into a blanket and puts you on the sofa and sits close to you, so that you have your space but he’s close enough if you need him.

sits with you while you work and watches intently even if he doesn’t understand much of what you’re doing. ready to go to the store and get you anything you’re craving, regardless of how late it is.

“i love looking after you, okay? don’t ever feel bad about telling me what’s troubling you.”

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched

@minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @viewvuu @bewoyewo

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foulphantomllama · 1 day

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My Secret Desire | AESPA Winter x Male Reader

I decided to post the new chapter today because I was supposed to post something else today. But as you can guess, I did not liked it enough to post it. So enjoy the new chapter!

4. The Package

She send me a pair of her underwear. With a little note on them saying “Make good use of them until i come back and get them.” And she drew a little emoji winking at the end.

But she wasn’t coming over. Neither to school nor my house. She was barely texting me. And when she does, she only makes me horny and disappear completely. I asked about her to one of her friends but they were in it too. I all got for a response was to wait. So I waited. After nearly a week and a half later, my door was knocking. It was her. I looked at the peekhole. I opened the door. She went straight in. Saying nothing. She took off her shoes and jumped to my bed. Getting ready to take a nap. I closed the door and started watching her. After a moment of silence I wanted to check on her. She was sleeping. She literally was gone for nearly two weeks and now she is back sleeping in my room.

But no. This was my time to act. I couldn’t just let her win every time. I sit beside her and woke her up. “What?” she asked me. Her attitude was making me angry. This attitude of her was the main reason I hate her as much as I love her. “What do you mean “What?”!” “You come into my house, crying. You’re not saying a single word. We fuck, you disappear for nearly two weeks. Than you sending me your panties. And after a few days later you appear on my doorstep and pretending none of this happened?” She looked at me. Holding her laugh. “Yes.” She said. Then burst into laughing.

I hold her arms. I mean, I hold them pretty tight. Her laugh was disappearing quickly. She realized that I’m really angry now. But she was not holding back either. “Come on big boy, what do you have in mind?”

I knew her intention. She wants sex again. But no. She needs to know that she does not always get what she wants from me. We fuck when I want to fuck. She grabbed my cock. But my cock was not hard this time. Because I was furious. “Come on, stop resisting. I know you want me.” She was thigtening her grab as she talks to me. I pushed her to the bed. “Okay, now we’re talking.” She said. But the following event was not someting that she would expect. I dressed up, took the keys and locked her inside my apartment. She has no other option to wait for me. My apartment was pretty high up so she couldn’t use the balcony to run away. But also, I had zero worries that she wants to escape. I was confident that she will wait for me. No matter how long I took to come back to my apartment.

I grabbed some ramen from my favourite store. It was just around the corner of my apartment. Then I rented a film from one of the stores that is not far from my apartment. Then I go to my apartment. Opened the door. There she was. Sitting on the toilet without closing the toilets door. “You should at least close the door.” I said to her. She rolled her eyes and answered. “You should be grateful that I did not pissed on to your carpet. You dick.” She was acting just like I imagined she would. “I am hungry. You did get something to eat, right?” I showed her the ramen I bought. “You’re the best boyfriend in the world.” Then she added. “Probably.” I asked her while I put the ramens on the kitchen counter. “What do you mean boyfriend?” She got up and came towards me. “Duh, dude you fucked me and cum into my throat. And I fucking swallowed it. What do you think we are? Study buddies?”

“So, you loved me from the beggining.” I asked. “Both.” She answered. “I fucking love you so much and I hate you so fucking much.” She also said. I can take that. “I love you because you’re the most precious person ever. I hate you because you’re too precious to be real. That you will gone to your own country an forgot about me.”

Her words hurt me a lot. But not in a bad way. I was hurt because I did not see it before. She was never bullying me. She just wanted my attention. Because she was thinking that I will leave her because she was not clever enough. What a bad way to think about yourself. And this was the exact reason I hated her to my guts. She was so hard to get along with. She was meaning the world to me. Yet, whenever I tried to show her this, she accused me by being delusional. Saying she is not enough for me or so. I may be too harsh to say I hated her just for this, trust me this kind of toxicity can kill. But my love for her was always getting the spotlight. It was the same for her too.

“I am so sorry If I ever hurt you with my words. I was never a bully. I just wanted your attention. And you weren’t giving me.” She hit me with your little fist as she talks. I hugged her. “No, I won’t be going anywhere. Not now at least.” She showed me her middle finger. And then she realized the film I rented. She took the dvd and started inspecting it. “I heard that this one is so shit.” She said. “It is pure shit.” I answered. Her response was hilarious, and expected. “Then why the fuck you rented this?” It turns out that this was just the way she communicates. Not exactly helping her with the social life but, kind of makes her hot and cute. Or I was just obsessed with her.

I prepared the ramen and we started eating. “Put the film on.” She said. I put the film on. In under ten minutes our meals were finished. She paused the film and said “Okay let’s agree on something.” I said go on. “If i get bored in the next ten minutes, we fuck. If I don’t we don’t fuck.” I was confused a little. “Why do I get punished for choosing I film that you probably like?” I asked. “Haha. That is how I work, honey.”

She watched that entire film. I can realize that she wasn’t really liked it. But she did it because she wanted to annoy me. But I wanted her. So I started to kiss her neck. “No hickeys.” She said. “My mother will fucking kill me.” Of course I was going to give her a hickey. “If you’re going to give me a hickey just do it on a place my mother wouldn’t be able to see.” She said. I took of her tshirt. I left a hickey on her left shoulder. “Your mother wouldn’t see that, I think.” I said. She mimics me. Then laughs. “You ruined the ending.” She said. “Come on! It was already shit how I could possibly ruined the ending.” I answered. She nodded.

“I’m just going to give you a blowjob, and get the hell out of here. I’m already late. I was gone to buy some rice. My mother still waiting me to bring rice.” She said. “I have an unopened package of rice. You can take it on your way out.” She gave me a thumbs up. Then took off my pyjamas. She was on her knees. She licked my cock over my underwear. Then she took of my underwear. Took my cock inside her mouth. Her mouth was so warm. And I already knew that she is very skilled when it comes to sucking cock. But she was too shy to make eye contact. I did not pushed her to her limits just yet. I just let her give me head peacefully, in her own terms. “Are you going to swallow it again?” I asked. She took it off from her mouth to answer me. “Well, i want to but you bought me a gigantic ramen. I don’t want to throw up the first meal you bought me.” She started sucking it again. I asked her to look into my eyes. She started to look up. She was looking so good with my cock in her mouth. I mean, she was probably the cutest girl I’ve ever seen. And she was my girlfriend.

“I’m going to swallow it.” She said. “Do not pull it out when you’re about to cum.” I pulled my cock out. “What makes you change your mind.” I asked her. “You forgot to buy me beverage. Can I please finish it and go???” “Okay, okay sorry.” I answered. “All yours.” She got faster and faster. Then I came into her mouth. First she showed me her mouth full of my cum. Then she swallowed it and showed me her empty mouth. I pull her closer to me and kissed her lips. “You just kissed your own cum.” She laughed. “But off your mouth.” I answered. “But it makes you gay.” She answered. I looked at her face laughing. “Okay, I’m going. Give me the rice.” I give her the rice I bought the other day. “Hey, mom! I just blowed my boyfriend and he give me a packet of rice.” She was laughing out loud while saying that. “At least you keep the money.” I said. “You’re so very right sir. Goodbye.” She saluted me and went out the door. I followed her. “No kiss goodbye?” She came closer, I was taller than her. She signalizes me to bow down. I did. She put her middle finger into my mouth. “Here’s your kiss.”

God I love her.

#aespa winter #winter #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #winter x male reader #winter x reader #chapter4

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lilislegacy · 2 days

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The way haters just boil Annabeth's character to just insulting Percy and not seeing theres more to her really shows how much they dont get her. Honestly Percy would hate them for this...

thanks for the ask @emilia9622!

agreed completely. like if you want to dislike a character, go for it. but don’t lie to yourself. don’t base it all off of one thing or flaw and make it 100x bigger than it is.

for instance, i don’t like luke. but it’s for a multitude of reasons. he knowingly betrayed all his friends several times, fought a deadly war against them, and intentionally poisoned the camp. he was percy’s first friend at camp and was a mentor to him, but had no issues lying to him and deceiving him. he literally was fine with the idea of 12 year old little percy being dragged down to tartarus. he also let annabeth be kidnapped and forced to hold up the world. when he finally saw thalia alive, he fought her and tried to harm her. yes i know that there is very complex trauma and history that led to all his actions, and i really do feel so bad for him, but i can’t respect someone who betrays his close friends like that. no matter what. i could go on and on, and don’t get me started about him having romantic feelings for annabeth… UGH. but that said, i understand why people love his character. he’s complex and has a lot of really good history. he also has a wonderful, yet tragic, redemption at the end. he really deserved better. i don’t have love for him, but his character deserves love. i’m happy that there are people to love him so that i don’t have to, because i have personal reasons for not liking him. i think luke is an amazingly well written character and i think rick wrote him beautifully. the truth is, besides the singular part where he admitted he had feelings for annabeth, i wouldn’t change anything about him or his story. so personally, i don’t like him, but i think he’s a great character and objectively, i can see why people love him.

it’s okay to dislike a character. but don’t pick their biggest flaws, strip away all the good parts of the character, and fool yourself into believing that’s all they are. (and then continue to go on tumblr and scream about how toxic and terrible the character is 🙄)

this is what “people can’t handle complex characters” actually means. people often throw that phrase around. people say that about readers not liking jason all the time, but the truth is, people are fully entitled to not like jason. it doesn’t make sense to me, because i LOVE jason. he’s my cutie patootie. but the people who dislike him simply don’t like him. they don’t usually make him out to be someone he’s not, they just don’t like him for who he is. they often just don’t find him interesting enough to break down the more complex parts of his character. it breaks my heart, and i don’t understand, but that’s okay. they just don’t like him. there’s nothing else to it. most annabeth haters, however, make her out to be someone she’s not and then proceed to hate on that one self-generated version of her. it’s so toxic. THAT is not being able to handle a complex character

no, annabeth is not perfect. if she was, she would be unrealistic, and people would hate her for that too. yes, she has excessive pride. she tends to think herself above others, and yes that even includes percy at times. but you know what? she admitted to having that issue all the way back in book 2. she was literally 13 when she explained to percy what hubris is and how it’s her biggest downfall. she’s a self aware queen. she knows it’s an issue and she works hard to correct it in little ways and make sure the people around her, especially percy, know she values them and their opinions. anyone who read the heroes of olympus series unbiased and got to read her POV knows that annabeth holds percy in the highest regard. she respects the hell out of him. even though sometimes she says things that aren’t nice, she doesn’t truly feel that way and always corrects it in some way. she’s not selfish, she’s just tragically intelligent, and it naturally gives her a bit of a complex. it wouldn’t make sense if it didn’t.

and i love her for it. the fact that she has a real flaw that can affect relationships, but that she is self aware of and actively works on, makes her legit one of my favorite characters ever. she’s SO realistic.

but people take that one flaw and make it her whole character. they call her cold and harsh, when in reality she’s one of the most warm and sensitive people in the series. she takes care of her friends. she’s strong and she’s often the leader, but it’s because she’s so loving and kind all the time. she works hard and looks out for everyone. she makes friends fast for a reason. she’s a wonderful person. she’s so, so sweet, and it breaks my heart that people choose to take that away from her.

anyway, sorry i just word vomited so much. basically i agree 100%.

#sorry for the word vomit #whoops #pjo #annabeth chase #jason grace #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #answered #riordanverse

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catmiemy · 15 hours

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Another Chance to Live Part 5 (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)

Summary: Things between Ana and you are going great, sadly the same isn't true for other aspects of your life.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

A/N: One day early is still early, right? However the good news is that I almost finished editing the last part, so you should get that one at the beginning of next week. Although I might have to find a way to incorporate Ana's pink hair!

Happy reading! 😊

Things continued to flourish between Ana and you, and soon the two of you spent every possible minute together. Not that this was much of a change, you had more or less been doing that from the beginning. You still met up with other people too, you weren’t totally reclusive, but usually you did so together.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you started wondering if maybe moving in should be something that should be brought to the table sometime soon. What was the point of paying for two apartments when you were always together at one or the other?

However, you still weren’t confident enough to bring up something big like that on your own. Being with Ana, who constantly told and showed you how amazing she thought you were, had definitely helped bolster your confidence, but there were limits.

You were once again thinking about starting a conversation about moving in together while Ana and you were lying on your couch after a long day of training. The Swiss woman was in front of you, snuggled against your chest, your entangled hands resting on her stomach.

In the end you couldn’t go through with it though, just like always. You resigned yourself to wait for Ana to bring it up. Plus you didn’t want to complicate or possible even ruin a nice evening.

“I’m so glad I don’t have to go in tomorrow,” you sighed contently.

“Me too,” Ana agreed instantly, turning around to give you a soft kiss.

It went deeper than just the joy of having a day off for the both of you. Even after several months neither of you had really found your footing at your respective teams. At least it had gotten easier since you began talking about it together. It felt good to let out all of your emotions and complain about your situation without being scared to be judged for it.

It was in that moment that your phone buzzed and when you checked it you sighed again. This time out of unhappiness though. In an instant Ana sat up and turned around to you properly, a non nonsense expression on her face.

“Okay, what was that? This keeps happening, you checking your phone and then looking unhappy about it. Is someone bothering you? Mean comments? A stalker? Please talk to me,“ your girlfriend all but begged.

You hadn’t even realized that she had taken note of this happening. In your mind you had been subtle.

“It’s nothing really.“

Ana just raised her eyebrows, telling you with that one small gesture that she didn’t accept your answer. That she in fact thought this was something, something important even, if it was bothering you in any capacity.

“Just my parents, complaining I haven’t been around much lately,” you explained, not thinking much about it.

However, when Ana’s face fell and guilt spread across it, you recognized your mistake. Only now did you realize how this must have sounded to your girlfriend.

“Wait no, that came out wrong,” you scrambled to make this right, to put a smile back on your girlfriend’s face. You didn’t get far though before Ana interrupted you.

“Please don’t. You don’t have to lie, it’s fine. I’m sorry that I never thought about that. Now that I think about it, I realize that I have been monopolizing you a lot lately,” your girlfriend apologized, chuckling self-deprecating.

In that moment you hated yourself a little for making Ana doubt herself, for making her apologize for something that had made you so happy.

“No, no, no! Don’t apologize, tesoro, please. These last few months have been the best in my life and I’ve been so happy. And sure you’ve been monopolizing me, but only because I also wanted that. To be honest my parents aren’t the easiest,” you said, hoping that the Swiss woman could hear your sincerity.

You weren’t completely convinced that she did, still seeing some lingering doubt and guilt in her eyes, but the moment you uttered the last sentence, all of Ana’s focus shifted to that.

“Oh, I didn’t know. Do you want to talk about it?”Ana spotted your reluctance, so she continued, “You said yourself that talking about your emotions has been helpful.”

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, leave it to the Swiss woman to beat you with your own words. She was right though. Still, this was different. This was definitely a case of you just being whiney and spoiled.

“Please?“ Your girlfriend pleaded and there was no way you could ever resist that face.

“Fine, but honestly it’s nothing bad at all, I’m just being ungrateful and apparently I love complaining about everything.”

You quickly moved on when you detected a fair amount of unhappiness about your words on your girlfriend’s face. She didn’t like it at all when you put yourself down. However, Ana also knew that you shouldn’t be stopped when you got into sharing mode, otherwise you would most likely withdraw again. Therefore the Swiss woman bit her lip and let you keep talking, vowing to bring this up again later.

“They just have a lot of expectations about who I should be and how a good daughter is supposed to act. Sometimes it feels like they don’t really care that much about me, but only about the person they want me to be. But that’s probably normal. I guess everyone has an image of how their kid will turn out. It just really sucks when you constantly feel like you’re not living up to the expectation.”

Once again Ana had to basically restrain herself from speaking her mind. This definitely wasn’t what she would describe as a normal relationship between parents and their kid. However, she sensed that you still had more to say, so she didn’t want to interrupt you.

“And the other thing is that it’s just me. You know I’m an only child, but also none of my aunts and uncles have children. Plus they all live here in Madrid too. So it’s just a whole lot of people from one generation against me. No wait, that sounds wrong, like we’re constantly fighting. We’re not, we just…” you trailed off, not even sure yourself what you were.

All you knew was that you never felt relaxed in the presence of your parents, aunts and uncles, that you always felt under scrutiny and every little thing you did or didn’t do was fair game for them to take apart and criticize viciously.

“But like I said, I shouldn’t be complaining. At least they care. I mean they’ve never missed a single one of my games,” you finished, happy with the way you managed to put a positive spin to this in the end.

Ana looked at you in confusion. “Really? I’ve never seen them at any of your games I’ve gone to,” she pointed out carefully.

“Oh yeah, I meant when I still played for Atlético. They’re all live long Atleti fans,” you clarified. “It was really hard for them when I had to transfer.”

Clearly the Swiss woman didn’t like this answer, her jaw was clenched tightly and anger burned in her eyes.

“That doesn’t sound very supportive! Honestly all of this doesn’t sound like a good family situation to me, but I know I personally can’t stand it if anyone other than me talks even remotely badly about my family, so I don’t want to overstep.”

You could tell that there was a lot more your girlfriend wanted to say and it was hard for her to hold her tongue. However, you appreciated that she did. You weren’t ready to get into a long conversation about this right now.

“I actually haven’t talked about my family to anyone before, so I don’t really know how I feel about that. But I also don’t really want to continue talking about them right now; I need some time to process first. Up until now I’ve been so convince that I was the problem and if I ever told anyone they would just laugh at me. I mean it’s not like they were ever abusive or anything.”

In your mind you were still being overly dramatic and ridiculous, but the simple fact that Ana disagreed with that assessment, made you re-think your convictions.

“There is more than one way to hurt someone. And, Schatz, it’s clear as day that you’ve been hurt and people have severely damaged the image you have yourself.”

The gentle way in which Ana spoke to you, brought tears to your eyes. There is more than one way to hurt someone. You had never thought about it like this before.

“And it’s totally okay if you don’t feel up to talking about it right now. Just promise me that you won’t try to process everything all alone in your head! Talk to me once you’ve had some time to let it set, yeah?”

You smiled at that, your girlfriend really knew you too well. No, not too well, she knew you the perfect amount well.

“I promise, I’ll try?” It came out more as a question than a statement. And in some way it was; a question if that offer was good enough. Of course you had no reason to worry.

“I guess I’ll take that. And in turn I promise that I will bother you about it again,” Ana retorted, winking at you.

You huffed in fake annoyance, but made sure to communicate that it was in fact exactly what you needed with a grateful smile and by closing the distance, that had been left between the two of you ever since your girlfriend had sat up.

Sharing your thoughts and feelings wasn’t something that came naturally to you, so you appreciated some gentle pushes. It made it easier to believe that Ana really wanted to hear what was going on inside your mess of a brain.

With this out of the way, you tugged on your girlfriend’s upper arm to get her back into your previous position. You wanted some more snuggles.

However, Ana didn’t follow your silent request, her body still a little tense and something clearly still on her mind. She was nibbling on her lips, having some sort of internal fight.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” You asked, placing a few kisses on your girlfriend’s shoulder. The soft contact made her relax visibly.

“Okay, so I’m just going to come out and say it, but I want you to know that there’s no pressure. And really it probably isn’t my place to bring this up. However, I also know that you tend to over think.”

“And you tend to ramble,” you quipped, hoping to soothe some of your girlfriend’s nervousness. It worked like a charm.

Ana chuckled, sounding much less stressed when she continued, “I’d be happy to come along to your parents whenever if you don’t want to miss out on any time together, but still want to go and see them.”

“Really? That would be amazing!” You replied. „And you were right; I never would have brought this up even though I have been thinking about it.”

One more time you pulled on Ana’s arms to get her to lay down with you again and this time your girlfriend relented without pause, snuggling into you.

“So should I tell them we’ll come over for lunch tomorrow and then we’ll say we are meeting friends at 3 or something, so we have a reason to leave,” you suggested.

Ana agreed easily, deciding to not ask why you felt the need to have other plans lined up, or well a lie prepared to be able to leave whenever you wanted. Without even meeting your family she already knew they were very different from her own. Also, you had asked for some time to figure stuff out, so she didn’t want to add another thing on top of it.

After your girlfriend had given her approval, you quickly texted your mother back, before putting your phone away and focusing on the moment instead. You gently stroked Ana’s arm, the rhythmic motion doing a lot to calm yourself down as well.

Normally this was the moment you would began to worry, think through every possible and impossible scenario that could occur the next day when Ana met your family, but with your girlfriend in your arms it was easy to put a stop to that and instead bask in the peaceful quietness.

---

However, the next day not even Ana’s usually almost magical presence did anything to help you relax. Seeing how nervous you were, your girlfriend insisted on driving, which left you with the job of giving directions. But with how preoccupied with your worries you were, you missed several turns.

“Schatz, do you just want to give me the address so I can put it into the GPS?” The Swiss woman proposed carefully, after you had gotten annoyed with yourself for missing a turn for the fifth time.

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m going to focus now. I’m sorry,” you apologized, trying to slow down the tornado of thoughts going round and round in your mind.

“Everything is going to be fine, just take a deep breath. We can always leave if you don’t feel comfortable.”

You only nodded tersely. It was sweet of Ana to try and calm you down, but she didn’t know your family like you did. You couldn’t just leave whenever you wanted, not if you didn’t want to risk a whole lot of guilt tripping and harsh words.

“Or we can just cancel?” Ana tried again, when she noticed her words had done absolutely nothing to soothe your nerves.

You chuckled humorlessly. That was even less of an option.

„No, it’s fine really. I’m just being dramatic again, don’t take me seriously.“

Ana frowned at your attempt to downplay things, but she decided to stop her futile attempts. She had to accept that words were not going to do anything for you right now. Instead she reached over and took your hand into hers, trying to communicate that no matter what happened she would be right there with you.

Although in reality that was part of the problem. By now you were seriously berating yourself for not thinking this through more. You had just decided one random evening to bring your girlfriend to your parents’ house, a first time occurrence since you had never been serious enough about someone before.

A little while later Ana parked the car in the spot you pointed out. And as soon as she didn’t need her hands to drive anymore, she reached over to awkwardly hug you over the center console. It helped to bring you back to your body from where you had been lost in your head.

“We can still leave,” you girlfriend offered, making sure you knew she was completely serious.

“No, it’s okay. Let’s just get this over with,” you sighed.

Only when you were walking towards your parents’ front door, did you remember to check in with Ana. You should have learnt from the past that just because the blonde often seemed so calm, didn’t mean that she always was.

You tugged on her hand to get her to stop, hoping your parents weren’t already keeping an eye out through the window for you.

“And how are you doing? I’m sorry I’ve been making this about me so much. Now that I think about it, I should probably be the one calming you down.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Schatz. Also, I can see that this is really hard for you, so I’m happy I can be there for you. And really I’m fine.”

Ana’s voice sounded sure and steady, but still you couldn’t accept that answer so easily.

“Look, I’m being completely honest, somehow it helps me stay calm when you’re anxious, like I have something else than my own thoughts and worries to focus on,” your girlfriend explained once she saw your doubtful face.

This you could believe, you felt the same when Ana was particularly stressed or emotional. You gave the blonde’s hand a good squeeze, not feeling comfortable enough to hug or even kiss her when your parents were possibly spying on you.

“Good, but tell me if things change, yeah? We can always leave if you want to.”

Ana nodded, touched at this offer. From what she could gather just leaving whenever you wanted wasn’t something you ever did, even if your family made you uncomfortable. So, the fact that you were willing to do so if Ana needed it meant a lot to her.

Walking to the front door you gave yourself an internal pep talk. Surely things wouldn’t be as bad as some of the scenarios circling through your mind. Your parents weren’t the easiest people, but they also weren’t bad or anything. Ana and you would spend a couple of hours with them and then leave again to enjoy the rest of your day off. You could do a few hours! That was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Sadly, this time you were proven wrong. Things turned out to be as bad as you had pictured them. And it all started with the realization that not only your parents, but also all of your aunts and uncles were there.

Your first thought, once you noticed, was that you were now severely outnumbered. At this point you still had hope though and even chastised yourself for thinking about this in a ‘you versus them’ manner.

However, then it continued with your family basically treating Ana like she wasn’t there. They didn’t address her, they didn’t react to anything she said, they didn’t even look her way. It made you want to scream at your family, but when you glanced over at Ana to gauge how she was feeling, she smiled at you bravely, mouthing that she was fine and that you should stay calm.

You wondered if she was hoping things would turn around, that your family just needed a little time to adjust and warm up to her. Or maybe your girlfriend had already resigned herself to a few hours of suffering through the awkwardness because she didn’t want to do anything that might impact your relationship with your family. Both were very Ana things to do.

You reached the end of your patience though, when your mother started dropping passive aggressive remarks aimed at Ana. The second time she mentioned how heartbreaking it was when people just swooped in and ruined a family, without mentioning your girlfriend of course, but clearly talking about her, you jumped up from your chair.

“Can we talk in the kitchen?” You gritted out between your teeth, staring daggers at your mother.

She just looked at your father meaningfully, like she has done so often when you were a kid and were throwing a tantrum. You balled your fists in anger; you hated how easily they could make you feel like a child again. And not a happy, excited about life child, but a stupid, worthless child.

“What is it, niña?” Your mother asked you innocently when you entered the kitchen, making your blood boil even more. It felt like you were one wrong word away from having steam shoot out of your ears like in a cartoon.

“You know exactly what I want to talk about,” you snapped.

Still feigning ignorance your mother looked at you in pretend confusion. ��No, niña, I obviously don’t, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked. So can you just tell me, so we can go back. You’re being really rude right now.”

This was the final straw. You were going to tell your mother exactly what was wrong, in great detail and not quietly at all. However, before you got around to venting your anger, you heard a loud voice from the living room.

Without even sparing your mother a second glance, you rushed back there. The only thought on your mind was that you had to make sure Ana was okay. That was much more important than shouting at your mother, you could do that later.

The scene you walked into wasn’t pretty. Your uncle was standing, his face red and contorted into anger, while he was throwing a stream of angry words at your girlfriend. The rest of your family was nodding along in silent agreement.

Ana on the other hand was still seated, her hands balled into tights fist, just like yours had been seconds before, and her gaze fixed on the table. It made her look small and defeated, but one look at her stormy eyes was enough for you to recognize that she was actually doing her best to keep her temper in check. Despite everything she was still trying to keep peace, even if your family had been nothing but horrible towards her. It filled you with so much anger and disappointment.

You caught the last few words your uncle was yelling, before he snapped his mouth shut, the moment he noticed you. Clearly you weren’t supposed to hear this.

“Isn’t it enough that you stole my niece’s place in our team?! Now you’re also taking her away from us! But I’ll tell you right now, you will never be a part of this family!”

Anger was roaring through you at this point. So when you opened your mouth to defend your girlfriend, you didn’t hold back anything.

“No, let me tell you something! Right now I’m ashamed to call any of you my family. This is how you treat my partner, the woman I love? She isn’t taking me away from you, I just finally feel happy and accepted exactly the way that I am. And she definitely didn’t take away my spot at Atleti, we don’t even play the same position!”

With that you marched over to your girlfriend and took her hand to pull her up. Ana followed your guidance without resistance, holding on to your hand tightly.

“Come on, tesoro, we’re leaving,” you told her quietly.

“Wait what? You can’t do that, we’re your family,” your mother cried out.

You shrugged your shoulders. “Just because you’re my family doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want and I have to put up with it.”

And without listening to anything else you walked out of the front door, the warmth of Ana’s hand in yours giving you the courage to do so. In the past you would have given in to your mother’s pleading, you would have been intimidated by your father’s anger, but not this time. You had learnt that you deserved better, thanks to your girlfriend.

Swiftly you guided Ana to the passenger side, before getting into the driver seat yourself and pulling away in a hurry. You didn’t want to risk your family coming out to try and talk with you again. Your confidence was only so strong; you didn’t need to put it to any more tests.

You didn’t drive all the way home though; instead you found a quiet place to park. It was important to you to check in with Ana as soon as possible. After all, you were used to your family, but she wasn’t.

“Are you okay?” You both asked each other at the same time. It made you chuckle which diffused some of the loaded atmosphere in the car.

“You first,” you pleaded. You needed to know right now how your girlfriend was feeling.

Ana stayed silent for a moment, mulling her answer over. It had been a lot to take in and she wasn’t completely sure yet how she felt.

“I’m a bit overwhelmed I guess. You warned me about your family, but I didn’t expect this.”

“Honestly I didn’t either and I’m so so sorry for it,” you apologized, harshly rubbing away the tears filling your eyes.

Ana gently caught your hands and brought them to rest on her knees instead.

“Schatz, you have nothing to apologize for. Your family’s actions aren’t your fault, not ever!”

You took some deep breaths to avoid breaking down into tears completely, there was still so much more you wanted to say.

“I’m still sorry and I hope you know that I don’t share their beliefs at all.”

Your girlfriend looked at you searchingly. “Not even about me taking your spot a Atleti?” She asked quietly.

“No, of course not! Why would you ever think that? Wait, has anyone else said anything like that to you?”

How long had your girlfriend been worried about that? It had never even crossed your mind, so you had never thought to talk about it with her. But maybe she had been feeling like she had taken something from you all along.

“No, no, no one said anything. I just thought…I mean with the timing…So you really don’t feel like that?”

The hope in Ana’s voice hurt your heart. Now you knew without the shadow of a doubt that she had indeed been worrying about that, probably been feeling guilty since she met you, for absolutely no reason.

“Oh my gosh, no! I really never thought about it like that. Like I said we play on completely different positions. Plus I’m pretty sure that the decision to let me go was made weeks before Atleti ever signed you.”

Tears of relief began trickling down Ana’s cheek. She had been holding this inside for so long and now she finally had confirmation that she had worried needlessly. You gently wiped the tears away with your thumb, a complete antithesis to how unkindly you had gotten rid of your own tears.

“I wish you were as gentle with yourself as you are with me,” your girlfriend whispered, leaning into your soft touch, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment.

You bit the inside of your cheek, frowning. “I’m working on it,” you offered.

“I know you are, Schatz. Now please tell me, how are you feeling?”

Ana fixed you with a serious gaze, making it clear that you weren’t going to satisfy her with any sort of generic reply. Therefore, just like she had done, you took a moment to tune into your feelings and gather your thoughts.

“Angry, disappointed, sad, guilty but mostly angry,” you listed, “I can’t believe they treated you like this!”

Just thinking about it made you mad all over again. How dare they! And sure maybe you were biased, thinking Ana was the most amazing person in the world. But then again you had yet to meet anyone that didn’t like the kind-hearted Swiss woman, so you weren’t alone in your assessment.

“You want to know the funny thing about all of this?” Your girlfriend asked.

Somehow you doubted that there was anything funny about this entire situation, still you motioned for Ana to continue. You were more than happy to get out of talking about yourself more.

“The thing that really makes me angry? The way they treated you and apparently have always treated you! I don’t care that much about what they said to me or how they ignored me, especially now that we cleared up the whole Atleti thing, but the way they treat you? Let’s just say I was very close to punching someone.”

Ana’s voice shook with anger, and suddenly you were glad you were the one sitting behind the wheel. Otherwise you wouldn’t have put it past her to turn around to actually give your family a piece of her mind. And as satisfying as that would be, you didn’t want to complicate this entire mess even more.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t. They probably would have pressed charges and I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me.”

Your girlfriend shook your head vehemently. “Because of them”, she corrected.

“Fine, because of them,” you relented, “But the most important thing is that it didn’t happen and you won’t have to deal with any legal matters.”

Once again Ana shook hed head, “No, the most important thing is that you recognize that you’re not responsible for your family’s actions.”

You swallowed a couple of times, trying to get rid of the lump that had formed in your throat. It continued to overwhelm you how much your girlfriend cared for you, how important it was to her that you healed from every bad thing that had ever happened to you.

“I’m going to work on that too,” you promised.

“And I’ll be right here by your side, helping you,” Ana vowed.

That was something you were never going to say no to. Everything seemed much less daunting with your girlfriend by your side. It was nice to know you had someone in your corner, and not just someone that pretended to be there for you, as long as you stayed in the corner they wanted you to be in.

“How about we go back to my place now and have a cozy afternoon after all of this craziness?” Your girlfriend suggested.

It was precisely what you wanted to do, still you couldn’t agree right away. Instead you chewed some more on the inside of your cheek, stuck in indecision.

“Or maybe I should go back and clear everything up right now?”

“It that what you want to do? If so, then definitely do it,“ Ana responded.

You didn’t even have to give it a single thought to come to the conclusion that it wasn’t what you wanted at all, but it was what you thought you should do.

Your silence was enough of an answer for Ana and somehow she guessed very accurately where your mind was at, “I get that you feel like you should figure this out right away. But, Schatz, I don’t think it’s something that will be easily resolved in an afternoon. So, I really think that putting it to rest for a little bit might be best. Or if you just want some time alone, I also totally understand that.”

“No!” You jumped in, “That’s the last thing I want. What I really want is to go home with you, have a nice cuddle session before cooking dinner together. But I just feel like I should try again. Am I a bad daughter if I don’t?”

You knew what you parents’ answer to that question would be. They had been telling you all your life that you were a bad daughter when you couldn’t meet their needs and obviously their need right now was for you to come and make things right.

However, Ana had slowly started to change the way you thought about yourself and your family, so you were curious what she had to say.

“Absolutely not! If my parents ever did something like that, I would expect them to come to me and beg for my forgiveness.”

“Except they never would do something like that in the first place,” you added the part your girlfriend had so graciously omitted in a vain attempt to spare your feelings.

“True. So can I take you home now and shower you with love?” Ana pleaded, unleashing her secret weapon on you, her pout.

“You know there’s no way I can say no when you look at me like that,” you groaned.

“Good,” Ana replied with a satisfied smile. “Do you want so switch so I can drive?”

You nodded, feeling too jittery to safely drive anything more than a few blocks. Ana and you both got out of the car and when you met in the middle, your girlfriend pulled you into a hug, swaying you softly from side to side.

“Just a little teaser for all the cuddles to come,” Ana joked after she let go of you.

You smiled at her brightly, glad that you had made the decision to go with what you wanted, instead of doing what you thought you should do. Going home to snuggle with your wonderful girlfriend sounded so much better than going back and dealing with you very frustrating family.

---

The next few days Ana was extra affectionate with you. To be honest it was surprising she could even step up her affection game since she was already very affectionate to begin with. However, you appreciated it and it helped soothe the fresh wounds your family had inflicted.

You got a lot of messages from them, although not a single one contained any sort of apology. There were a lot of, sadly very successful, attempts to make you feel guilty, and if it weren’t for Ana, you would have felt like the world’s worst daughter.

A little over a week after the initial fight you felt ready to try and sort everything out with your family. Ana offered to go with you, but you decided against it. Your girlfriend being there and potentially being disrespected again would only make you more emotional. And the one thing you needed was to keep your composure, if you wanted any chance at having a calm conversation about this.

In the end it didn’t matter though. Within minutes the conversation turned into a shouting match that resulted in you storming out of your parents’ house once again. You rushed home to fall into the waiting arms of your girlfriend.

“I just want this to be resolved,” you whined after the worst of your sobs had died down, “But there’s nothing I can do if they don’t even realize what the problem is. And I hate that so much! I hate not being able to do anything!”

Ana rubbed soothing circles on your back, humming in agreement. She very much felt the same; she hated that there was nothing she could do to make this all better for you right this moment. Having to accept that something sucked and you could do nothing to change it, was a bitter pill to swallow.

You cried for a long time that evening, and you cried a lot more in the next few weeks. Then slowly you began to accept this reality, resigning yourself to having no contact with your family for the moment. You only reached out once more, sending them a text with your thoughts and explaining that you wouldn’t come around anymore until there was a clear signal from their side, that they were prepared to work on themselves.

After that you ignored every other message they sent, even debating if you should block all of your family members, but you weren’t ready to go that far yet. They were still your family! Plus you had left the door open an inch, for the unlikely scenario that they wanted to work everything out, so you had to at least glance at their texts.

Ana wasn’t too happy with that decision because every message made you sad and worried that you were being selfish all over again. She even offered to read the messages for you, but seeing your girlfriend get upset on your behalf was even worse than reading the harsh words yourself.

Therefore every time you got one, you quickly scanned it, getting disappointed each and every time, and then deleted the message. Unfortunately getting rid of the words wasn’t as easy as getting rid of the texts; they played on a loop in your mind.

We did so much for you and now you just turn your back on us?

You’ll come running back to us, as soon as she dumps you!

How can you do this to us? Your mother can barely eat because she’s so upset.

We didn’t raise you to be so stupid and blind. I can’t believe you’re letting her manipulate you like this.

Why are you being so dramatic about a few words?

It all fell apart completely at the game between Real and Atlético. You had been dreading that match for a long time. Not only would you be playing against your girlfriend, but also against your former club.

Ana and you had talked about it beforehand and promised each other that there would be no hard feelings, no matter what team won. You were pretty confident that the two of you would be able to follow through on that promise, but the anxious part of you still fretted about it.

However, once you entered the pitch for warm up you were slapped in the face by a harsh surprise, making every other worry seem obsolete. Your entire family was there, clad in Atleti’s colors and loudly supporting your former team.

It wouldn’t have hurt quite so much if they would have been at any other Atlético game this season, but they hadn’t. So the only reason why they were doing this now, was to upset you.

And they succeeded. Forgetting all professionalism you turned around and ran back into the tunnels, chocking on the tears you were holding back until no one could see you anymore. You heard a few confused voices calling after you, but you couldn’t explain right now, you couldn’t talk.

You found a quiet corner where you slid down the wall and buried your face in your hands, your knees pulled closely to your chest. Your entire focus went to keeping your breath as normal as possible to avoid spiraling into a full blown panic attack. Therefore you didn’t even notice someone coming up to you until that person sat down next to you and gently pulled you against their side.

For a moment you went stiff, uncomfortable with the sudden closeness. But then you smelled Ana’s coconut shampoo and allowed yourself to melt into you girlfriend.

“Wait, you shouldn’t be here,” you exclaimed once Ana’s calming power had helped you feel less overwhelmed and think more clearly again.

“Of course I should be here, you’re my girlfriend. No way was I not going to check on you after that stunt they pulled,” Ana replied harshly, softening her tone when she noticed you tensing up, “You’re much more important than any possible repercussions this could have, Schatz.”

“I just want to go home,” you mumbled, hating how much you sounded like a little kid.

“You can if you want to. I’m sure your coach would understand and if not I’ll beat them up. I could even go with you! Or I can go out there, grab your family and throw them out of the stadium. I’d happily do that.”

The mental image of your girlfriend literally throwing your family out made you chuckle. Although you had no doubt that she would actually do it if you asked her to.

“Or you go out there, completely ignore your parents and play an amazing game. And afterwards we’ll go home and I’ll hold you all night long.”

You stayed safely tucked away in Ana’s arms for a little while longer, before extracting yourself with a sigh. There was only one option you could live with, even if it was the one that meant suffering for the next few hours.

Ana studied you with pain in her eyes. You didn’t need to lay out for her what you wanted to do, she knew without a single word. And while she understood, she also longed to take you home, far away from the harshness of real life.

“If you change your mind at any point, let me know, yeah?” Your girlfriend requested.

“And then what? We run away together in the middle of the game?” you joked, but Ana didn’t react to your attempt at humor, instead she nodded seriously

“Yes,” she confirmed.

You swallowed, fresh tears pricking in your eyes because of your girlfriend’s willingness to do an absolutely crazy thing, if it was what you needed. And just that knowledge was a huge help in getting through the game.

Not once did you look over at your family, telling yourself they weren’t there. Still, you knew, and it hurt. It felt like something had been stuck right through your heart, twisting and turning with every movement, inflicting pain over and over again.

You didn’t let it show, though. There wasn’t a lot you could control when it came to your family, but you could at least decide how much or how little of your feelings they got to see. And they didn’t deserve to see any of them.

Because while you always felt horrible when you knew that you were the reason someone was hurting, you had to assume your family didn’t feel the same; that they might even get some satisfaction from knowing they upset you. Otherwise why would they have done this?

Throughout the entire game you functioned on autopilot, and you continued to do so until hours later when you stumbled into your girlfriend’s apartment. You had asked to go there instead of yours because absolutely nothing at Ana’s place reminded you of your family.

The moment you stepped through the front door, tears began running down your cheeks. Ana had been expecting this and pulled you towards her couch, cocooning you in her arms. She didn’t even attempt to say anything to make you feel better; there really wasn’t much she could say. She just let you get it all out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Your girlfriend asked softly, after your tears had stopped and your breathing had been much more even for a while.

You shook your head, not trusting your voice to function right now. Not having to rely on words to communicate was one of your favorite things about your relationship with Ana.

“Okay, I’ll be here to listen whenever you feel ready,” Ana reminded you. “How about we block their numbers now?”

Again you shook your head and you could tell that your girlfriend didn’t agree with this decision, but she kept her tongue. She watched you like a hawk when you sat up and grabbed your phone.

“What are you doing?”

Ana did her best to keep her tone neutral, but internally she was anything but. She was of course curious, but mostly your girlfriend was worried that you had already convinced yourself again that this was somehow all your fault and were going to apologize to your family.

You simply showed Ana your phone, erasing all of her fears and replacing them with satisfaction and heartbreak. You had typed out a message to your family, stating that you would block them, and expected them to leave you alone until you were ready to talk with them again.

After you pressed sent, quickly so you couldn’t second guess yourself, you handed your phone to Ana.

“Now you can block them,” you instructed her, snuggling into your girlfriend again.

It didn’t necessarily feel good to cut all contact with your family for the moment, but it definitely felt right. However, lying all night long in your girlfriend’s arm definitely felt good, so much better than having another argument with your family that somehow always refused to see your side of things.

And being told that you were loved and that Ana was so proud of you, was also much better than being called childish, dramatic, ungrateful and whatever else your family came up with. Still, was it too much to ask to have a wonderful girlfriend and a loving family?

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #ana maria crnogorcevic imagine #ana maria crnogorcevic x reader

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taizi · 3 days

Note

okay just because we were talking about this - how do you think an asl reunion at alabasta would look like?

i hope its ok that i took this as an excuse to write an au no one asked for :')

read on ao3

A lot of the problems in Ace’s young life—most of them, if he was being honest—could be attributed to the shitty choices that adults around him made.

When Bluejam grabbed Luffy by the scruff, the business end of a pistol jammed painfully into the nape of his neck, he was talking a bunch of shit about how Sabo’s dad ripped him off. He was paid to kill Ace and Luffy but he’d been short-changed, and for a man who seemed to think he was entitled to a certain lot in life, it rankled.

“But that noble brat doesn’t make a bad ransom,” the man said, shaking a weepy Luffy in one meaty hand to shut him up, like Ace’s baby brother was nothing but a piece of dirty laundry. “If his family won’t buy him back, I’m sure someone will.”

Ace’s blood turned to ice in his veins. Whatever time Ace didn’t spend in the jungle he spent in the gutters and outskirts of the city, where every unwanted, street-sharpened child knew the risk a certain kind of stranger brought with them.

If Sabo ended up with a slaver, Ace would never get his brother back. Pieces of him, maybe. But not the same golden boy he was right now. Not the brave, proud, secretly soft-hearted person Ace loved so much. He’d come back different if he came back at all.

He had to compartmentalize. He couldn’t act rashly until he had Luffy back. His mind raced frantically, but he made sure it didn’t show on his face. He snatched Luffy up when Bluejam finally let him go and made his own body a wall between his brother and the men who had no compunctions about hurting him to prove a point.

They were left to spread gasoline throughout the terminal, while the pirates made their way back down to the beach. Not one of them lingered to make sure Ace and Luffy did as they were told, and Ace should have wondered about that. Should have wondered why they were making themselves scarce, why the city gates were barred, what all those fuel canisters are for, but his thoughts were too full of other things.

That was why, the second the coast was clear, he tossed his gasoline drum aside and seized Luffy by the arms. He stooped to look right into his eyes, trying to ignore the way his chest panged at how wide and red they were.

“I have to go get Sabo,” he said firmly. “You have to stay here.”

“Let me come!” Luffy cried immediately, predictably. “Don’t leave me behind!”

“It’ll be faster if you wait,” Ace snapped, because he didn’t want to say that Luffy was going nowhere near any ship bound for the slave market, because then he would have to explain why. Even without the Fruit that made him a special novelty in the Blues, Luffy would be snatched up by evil hands in a heartbeat. “You’re too little, you’ll just slow me down,” he said instead.

It wasn’t nice, and when Ace had time later, he would feel bad about the way Luffy’s lip trembled. But for now, it was important that he got his point across. Every second he lingered was another inch ahead Bluejam’s crew got. Ace’s world would literally end if their ship left port without him.

So he gave Luffy’s shoulders a push that propelled him back a step. Then he pointed in the direction of the treeline. He made his face mean and forbidding.

“I mean it, Luffy,” he said. “Go wait for me at home.”

Luffy finally tucked his chin in a miserable little nod. Ace gentled despite himself and reached out because there were two people he would always reach out for and one of them was right in front of him.

He flicked the brim of Luffy’s hat up enough that it fell off his head, and then ruffled his hair. A gesture so familiar and well-practiced it was like muscle memory to him now. Luffy didn’t smile, but it kept the tears at bay for a bit longer, and Ace left him with another firm point back at the jungle.

Ace was a child, doing his best to keep his tiny family together. He had a half-formed plan that he would sneak about Bluejam’s ship and find Sabo wherever he was and they would fight their way out and escape together and reunite with Luffy in time for a midnight dinner. He was a pragmatic youth, and was made wiser by the world than any ten-year-old should have been, but he was still only ten years old. He couldn’t have guessed what was going to happen.

He would piece it together later—that Bluejam had been commissioned by the kingdom to make sure the Gray Terminal burned down, a noble title he planned to come back to collect once he had auctioned off Outlook’s eldest son to the highest bidder—that Ace had chased after one brother and left the other alone in a place that was about to go up in flames.

When he climbed aboard the Blood Batako, he didn’t realize it would be the last time he saw Dawn Island for almost half a year.

He didn’t realize that Luffy would wait for him right there where Ace left him, even as the fire spread into walls of flames much taller than a scrawny seven year old—frightened and crying, little hands bunched in the front of his own shirt as he choked for each breath in the thick, acrid smoke. That Dadan would find him there and haul him away kicking weakly but not screaming, because there wasn’t enough oxygen left in his body to scream. That the asphyxiation, not the fire, is what nearly killed Luffy that night. That he would spend the next week in Foosha Village tended to by their only doctor and wake up with some of his memory intact, but not all. That he would recognize Makino, but wouldn’t know Dadan.

Ace had no way of knowing, when he and Sabo finally made their way home, well-traveled at the tender young age of freshly eleven, and relieved to see journey’s end for the time being, and looking forward to reuniting with a certain crybaby who had probably been miserable cooped up in Dadan’s country or at Party’s Bar without them, that Luffy will have been gone for months by then.

“A cruise ship docked further up the island,” Makino says fretfully, “and a little boy who worked in the kitchens came down here to play because he said he didn’t like the way the kingdom smelled. He and Luffy were fast friends. I had no idea Luffy was planning to leave with him until I found the note he left in his room, and by then they were long gone.”

It’s a good thing Sabo is there, because Ace’s head is just a roar of white noise. Sabo is the one who chokes out, “But—what—did—did you call Gramps? What did he say? Is he going to find him?”

“I don’t have his direct line. I’ve left a dozen messages with his office, but you know how he is,” Makino says, forgetting that they don’t, actually. “He hardly remembers that he has an office. And the number Dadan has for him is no good.”

“Why would Luffy wander off like that?” Sabo says, progressively getting louder. “Why wasn’t someone watching him?”

“He’s just been so restless since the fire,” Makino replies. “There wasn’t anything keeping him here anymore, and it seemed like he just needed one good excuse to leave.”

Sabo looks as gutted by that as Ace probably feels, hurt and confusion racing their way across his face. And Ace finally makes his contribution, in the form of a choked, “What do you mean?” which is when Makino realizes there’s something they still don’t know.

She sits them both down at a table and holds one of each of their hands in hers, and gently explains that while they were gone, the world as they knew it had changed forever, and the happy little boy who always ran to catch up to them wasn’t running after them anymore.

———

Ace still forms the Spades, and Sabo still falls in with the Revolutionary Army, and the only reason they don’t sail together the way they promised when they were young is because the ocean is awfully big. They have a lot of square footage to cover, and splitting up is the only way they could even hope to cover it all.

It doesn’t occur to either of them to give up at any point. As Sabo climbs ranks, as Ace gathers a crew, both their bounties increasing every day, they continue to search faithfully. Either they’ll find him one day, or they’ll simply spend the rest of their lives looking.

Masked Deuce says, “What about the cruise ship he left on? Did you track it down?”

“Boarded by pirates that same year,” Ace replies. “According to the official report, it sank in a storm.”

The loaded silence says everything Masked Deuce will not say. Ace doesn’t care what someone who has never met Luffy thinks about his odds of survival at sea. If Deuce knew Luffy, he would understand. Since he doesn’t, Ace’s first mate can believe his captain is delusional all he likes as long as it doesn’t keep him from doing his job.

Deuce turns out to be a better friend than Ace deserves. One day when Ace leaves his crew to party with some locals and sets off into town to distribute flyers and put his ear to the ground, he hears someone rumble something under their breath about a hopeless cause. He doesn’t even have time to turn around before Deuce has seemingly teleported across the bar and knocked the dissenter out cold.

“Anyone who shares his opinion is free to get their shit and leave,” he says calmly.

The only voices that rise up are ones who sound very offended that Deuce would lump them in with that guy, and Ace refuses to look as touched as he feels.

When he hears word of Red-Hair Shanks in nearby waters, he tracks the man down to a wintery island and leads his crew up a small mountain to meet him. In part, he wants to thank this man who saved his little brother all those years ago. But also…

“I heard about the fire,” Shanks said grimly. “And Makino kept me updated about little Anchor until he disappeared. I’ve got eyes out looking, too, Ace. The world is big, but not so big that we’ll never find him.”

It’s a relief to know that Luffy is so loved, that more than just his brothers care if he’s ever found. But in true Luffy fashion, he explodes onto the scene when he’s good and ready.

Ace is woken up by Deuce kicking the door of the captain’s quarters off its hinges and shoving a crinkled Wanted poster into Ace’s bleary face so that a toothy, stretching smile is the first thing he sees.

He accidentally sets half the room on fire, a slip-up the likes of which hasn’t happened since the first week after he ate his Fruit, and there’s a lot of screaming, and someone shoves a baby Den-Den at him so he can call Sabo. From the way his nakama were carrying on, you would think it was their long-lost brother in the paper.

“I was about to call,” Sabo says breathlessly in lieu of a hello after only barely half a ring. “You saw it?”

“I saw,” Ace replies. The newspaper is rattling noisily in his hands but he can’t get them to stop shaking. “He took down Arlong Park. There are all these witness statements from the villagers. They’re saying he did it all for his friend.”

“If anyone even thinks about coming for his bounty, I’m killing everyone on the Grand Line and then myself,” Sabo says. It takes knowing him as well as Ace knows him to be able to tell over the phone that he’s crying buckets.

“Get in line,” Ace says. If anyone so much as looks at Luffy wrong he’s burning this goddamn planet down. He can’t tear his eyes away from the poster for more than a few seconds at a time. At the urchin grin, the pencil-mark curve of a scar, this bright young man he’s never met who is so, so familiar.

“They’re calling him Straw Hat Luffy,” Deuce says. He’s a pillar of serenity in a sea of absolute chaos, leaning on Ace’s shoulder to read with him. There’s a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Now I’ll finally get to meet him.”

Which turns out to be easier said than done, because Luffy and his merry band of lunatics won’t seem to stay in one fucking spot for longer than an hour. It takes weeks to finally track that cute little caravel down to a summer island about halfway through the Grand Line, and by that time Sabo has taken a leave of absence from the Army to join him. They’re close now. They’re so close.

Wait for me, Ace would beg him if he could, wondering if this was how Luffy felt all those times his big brothers ran ahead and left him behind.

———

Ace never knew how heavy a heart could be when he was a child, a half-feral, angry, touch-starved thing. But now his heart is full—now it bursts at the seams, spills through his ribcage, until there’s no part of him that isn’t touched by it—and it’s the heaviest thing he’s ever carried.

A precious burden. He’s twice the man he would have been without it. He will never, not one time in his life ever, entertain the idea of putting it down.

But gods, Ace thinks, it would be easier, so much easier, to rip the stupid thing out of his chest and walk around a hollow shell of someone once-loved than it would be to stand here for one more minute and look down at his baby brother looking up at him like he’s a total stranger.

“Who’s this guy?” a blond man behind Luffy mutters. With the touseled hair hanging in an artful curtain over half his face and the cigarette between his teeth and the well-cut linen suit that makes it very clear he never skips leg day, blondie gives off an air of Do Not Fuck With Me just by breathing in a way that reminds Ace of Sabo at that age.

The swordsman beside him, called Roronoa Zoro on his bounty poster, is scowling outright, gray eyes sharp, ready at any moment to leap over Luffy like a faithful hound and dig into Ace with his teeth the second he presents as danger.

It makes Ace feel kind of nostalgic, like he’s looking at an old photo of himself.

He tries to focus on the nostalgic feeling, because all the rest of his brain is drowning in guilt and grief.

Somehow, he wasn’t prepared for this moment. Years of searching, nearly half his life, and he’s finally standing in front of the person whose absence tore a hole clean out of his whole future, and he has no idea what to say.

You look well, springs to mind, because Luffy does. His hair and skin and eyes are all different shades of brown that gleam with good health under the desert sun. He’s still skinny, but not in the waifish, underfed way of all the Gray Terminal kids. He looks like he’s been eating well. It settles something in Ace’s heart in the one tiny corner of it that isn’t breaking.

I should have been there, is the next-most immediate thought, and it almost takes Ace’s knees out from under him. He should have been there to make sure Luffy ate well. He should have been there to save him from the fire, to help him recover from the smoke sickness, to hold him when he cried in his sleep and to take his hand when he wandered aimlessly around the village with no one to play with and nothing to look forward to.

I’m sorry I left you, is what it boils down to, what Ace has held close and carved into his heart over the years, hating himself, hating the child he was who thought he knew better, who thought he could conquer everything without losing anything. I never should have left you.

But Luffy doesn’t know him from any other person in this busy marketplace, his head tilting to one side like a curious little bird’s, and Ace can’t think of anything to say to him that he’ll understand.

He needs Sabo. He’s about to become a walking fire hazard, and he’s about to mess this whole thing up, this reunion that was almost a decade in the making. Luffy’s two friends are eyeing him with mounting suspicion the longer he stands there and stares at their captain, every line of their body still the way a predator’s body stills in preparation for a pounce. Luffy, for his part, is still engaged, but only barely. His interest is slipping away—there are too many sights and smells and things bustling all around for him to want to stand still for a gawking stranger that doesn’t even have anything exciting to say.

His little brother. Crybaby Luffy. The boy who crawled under Ace’s blanket when their treehouse quaked in a storm, who held Sabo’s hand when they stayed out too late and walked home through the jungle in the dark. He’s a pirate now, a Wanted person, with a crew and a ship all his own, and he got this far without them. The last time Ace saw him was that last night in the Gray Terminal, when Ace was being mean on purpose to make sure Luffy stayed away from certain danger.

It occurs to Ace, for the very first time, that Luffy doesn't need him anymore. That tiny seven year old grew up.

“I saw you in the paper,” he finally says, making a concentrated effort to sound like a human being. “You’re pretty cool.”

Luffy brightens immediately. “Yeah? Are you a pirate, too?”

“I am. Made a promise to my brothers when I was a kid that we’d sail the seas together one day.”

“Wow!” Luffy says, suitably impressed. “We made a promise like that, too.” He loops both his arms through one of Blondie’s and one of Roronoa’s. “We decided way back when we were little that we were gonna stick together and become the pirate king, and the greatest swordsman, and the man who discovers All Blue!”

So one of his two guard dogs must be the little kitchen boy from The Orbit who spirited Luffy away from Foosha. The other must have come along not much later if they were all children together. Ace wants to hear the story so badly he has to clench his jaw to keep from asking. He wants to hear about everything.

Instead, ignoring the way Roronoa’s hand closes around the hilt of one of his swords, Ace reaches out and flicks the brim of Luffy’s hat so that it slips backwards off his head. Luffy squawks, and tries to free his arms in time to catch it, and then freezes in place at the touch to his hair.

Ace ruffles it fondly, muscle memory that hasn’t corroded even after a decade, and says what he should have said the first time that sunshine child in a worn straw hat shared a wild, impossible wish;

“I hope I’m there to see it when all those dreams of yours come true.”

If he had stayed a second longer, he would have seen the way Luffy mirrored Ace’s touch with his own fingers, frozen in place.

Instead, Ace has officially reached his emotional threshold, and formally retreats to find his twin. They take turns being the stable one and Ace is calling dibs on being a basket case for the next month. Masked Deuce is just going to have to deal.

Sabo got back to their meeting spot first, an outdoor table outside a tavern that hasn’t yet opened for the day, and already has their map rolled out and pinned down at the corners by various junk from their luggage. He’s marking something down and calls over a distracted hello, and Ace bleakly replies, “I found him.”

His tone is all wrong for the remarkably momentous occasion he’s announcing, so it’s not really Sabo’s fault that it doesn’t click right away. Sabo says, “Found who?” and Ace just looks at him with all his helplessness and weariness plain on his face, and Sabo drags an ink mark all across Sandy Island on the map as he whirls around and says, “You found him?”

“It’s not going to be how we thought,” Ace says, trying to manage his brother’s expectations. They share everything, but Ace would keep this heartbreak to himself if he knew how. “It’s—I think we took too long.”

“What do you mean?” Sabo asks, hands clenching into fists and unclenching. The fountain pen is dripping ink, ruining the fine leather of his left glove.

“He didn’t know me. I knew he wouldn’t, not really, but he—he didn’t recognize me at all,” Ace tries to explain. He feels stupid and childish and ungrateful, but really he just has no idea what to do. Luffy doesn’t know him and doesn’t need him and how is he supposed to fill a place in that kid’s life that doesn’t exist anymore? “We’ll have to—to start over from scratch, but how? How are we supposed to make someone like Luffy care about people like us? He’s sunshine personified, and deserves to have everything he wants and the best this shitty world has to offer, and we’re just—two selfish idiots who couldn’t even take care of one little kid between the two of us.” The awful truth, delivered quietly: “Luffy doesn’t need us anymore. I can’t see why he’d want us around now.”

Sabo is watching him like something carved from marble. Ace would never tell him, because it would hurt his feelings in a way nothing else ever could, but there are times when Sabo looks every bit the nobleman his biological family wanted him to be. The line of his jaw and the fall of his hair and his deep set eyes are regal, especially when he’s focused, when he’s working through a problem, when he’s the last sane voice in a room and he’s waiting for the morons wasting his time to run out of breath.

And then his eyes flicker past Ace’s shoulder, and his expression transforms. The breath leaves him in a rush like it was punched out of him, his lips parting, blue eyes widening in a way that seems to shave whole years from his face.

Something causes him, impossibly, incongruously, to smile.

“Would you put money on that?” he asks.

“What? Yes,” Ace says, thrown off by the inappropriate lightness of his tone. He feels himself start to bristle defensively. “Are you even paying attention?”

“One of us has to,” Sabo says, only smiling wider, and Ace feels sparks falling off his fingers in sheer aggravation as he turns around to see what is so—

He has three seconds at most to take in the sight of Luffy hurtling up the hill at top speed. It’s been years and years, but three seconds is all he needs. His arms remember how to reach out and catch him.

“I waited where you left me, but you never came back!” Luffy shouts. “You can’t be mad! I waited and waited, and then I went out to find you instead! I didn’t remember you but I had to find you! I still don’t—I still don’t know some things—but I know it’s your fault for taking too long!”

Sabo lurches over and Luffy’s rubbery hug wraps around them both and Ace is too shell-shocked by the last minute to do anything but hug back.

Luffy shoves his face in Ace’s shoulder, and there’s a hot, wet smear of tears there. It gives away that Straw Hat Luffy, the pirate captain worth thirty million berries, is maybe not as grown-up as Ace had initially feared.

Sabo presses his face against the crown of Luffy’s head, too overcome to do anything but hold him. The regal young man from moments ago is long gone. The one standing here with them is that street-rat from Dawn who knew the best places to steal food from, who always made sure they never went hungry, who once shrugged off his fine winter coat at the market and traded it to a vendor for a pair of sturdy boots for Ace and thick woolen mittens for Luffy. He had shivered all the way home, where there was an extra coat in the treehouse he could use, until Luffy had the bright idea that they should all bundle into Ace’s oversized cloak together for warmth and whined until Ace agreed just to shut him up. That had been the most annoying hike up Mount Colubo in history. It’s a memory that Ace cherishes beyond reason.

Ace whispers, “Of course I’m not mad, Lu.” It’s been ages since he was that hostile, hateful little thing who would take a bite out of anything that dared to show its soft underbelly to him. He presses as close as he can, cheek to cheek with this piece of his family that’s gone missing for far too long, and adds, “You’ve never been obedient a day in your life. If I expected anything different, that’s on me.”

Luffy laughs, and it’s snotty and choked and pure music to Ace’s ears. The kid worms closer, makes himself smaller, and lets himself be held.

He doesn’t need his brothers. His shoulders are broad, and his arms are solid and strong. He’s already made a name for himself, and even now those two friends of his are lingering watchfully further down the road—far enough away to give the respectful illusion of privacy, near enough to make Ace and Sabo’s day a living hell if they try anything fishy. It’s probably been a long time since he’s needed someone to hold his hand or carry him home.

But if, by some insane, undeserved miracle, Luffy still wants them…

It’s enough. It’s more than enough. It’s more than Ace has had in ten years.

What one piece? he thinks, arms full and aching. I’ve got it all right here.

#one piece #op #opfic #asl bros #portgas d ace #revolutionary sabo #monkey d luffy #my writing #prompt #wizardmafianinjapirate

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schizopositivity · 10 hours

Text

My partner just showed me the strangest video that came up on their tiktok. The video was of a woman that said something along the lines of "Did you know all schizophrenic people smell bad? They just have a bad odor that is always present. Even if they shower, and use deodorant, they just smell bad constantly for their whole life."

And that video was stitched by some guy wearing scrubs who said something like "actually this is true, here is one article from the 70's of a psychiatrist who had noticed that a lot of his schizophrenic patients smelled bad". So, someone posing as a medical care worker saying this is true, but his only evidence is that one psychiatrist said this once. No trials, no real evidence, not even an attempt at an explanation on why they think every schizophrenic person just smells bad all the time.

But the most absurd part about this is that there wasn't a single comment disagreeing or asking for proof of this supposed phenomenon. It was just full of people saying "I knew a schizophrenic person and they always smelled bad!" or "I've noticed this too! They always just smell awful!"

There's so many things wrong with this. First off, they are being vague as hell, "smell bad" could mean many different types of smell, and can be caused by so many different things. Second, like I said, absolutely no proof at all, but they say it as if it is an undisputed fact. People are so quick to bully people with schizophrenia, that they don't even check that this is legit, or even sensical. Third, how do they think this would be true? You could argue that schizophrenic people are more likely to be homeless and not have access to showers or hygiene products. You could argue that schizophrenic people could be mentally ill to the point where they neglect their hygiene for long periods of time. But the first speaker went out of her way to clarify that the bad smell is there even after showering and deodorant. So do they think that this is an innate biological side effect of having schizophrenia? How would that even work? The more you think about this whole thing the less sense it makes.

This was just a ramble about a great example of how people with schizophrenia are consistently harassed and dehumanized. And no one will stand up for us, or even question it, because so many people view us as less than human. We deal with so much stigma that makes people believe we are dangerous, crazy, unintelligent, and a burden to the people around us. But that wasn't enough, so now we are all inherently stinky, just always smell bad, and they present that as a fact. It just goes to show how so many people don't care what we as schizophrenic people will think about it, or how it will affect us, because they simply do not care about us at all. They don't consider us as equal. As humans who are the ones experiencing the stigma along with our mental illness, and have to face each day with the weight of both on our shoulders. With no relief given to us from the people who have the privilege of not experiencing either one.

Not all schizophrenic people smell bad. That is just a lie that people are willing to believe because they already don't care about us as people.

#schizophrenia #mental illness #nd #neurodivergent #schizophrenic #psychosis #actuallyschizophrenic #mental health awareness #pseriouslypsychotic #schizoaffective disorder #schizo-spec #schizophrenia stigma #ableism #sanism

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dervaaas · 3 days

Text

Treatment is not the reason, the main thing is to eat well.

Character: Jiaoqiu

Synopsis: Being a cloud knight is hard, especially if you get injured after battles. But how good it is that there is a healer who will heal and feed!

Wn: If there are any, please tell me!

F!Reader!

English is not my native language! That's why I tried to avoid game terms. Written before 2.4!

P.S. It didn't turn out what I planned, but the reader ate delicious.

The girl was a frequent visitor to his office. This is already a familiar environment. It was difficult to be on the front line in the fight against infected mara, and it was impossible to exclude any injuries.

Today is no exception. After a long battle, Y/N breaks into his office with the words: "Jiaoqiu, cook me something!". To which he sighs and puts down his brush.

"You finished earlier than I expected," Jiaoqiu gets up from his seat and walks over to the girl and gestures for her hand. Without hesitation, she stretches out her hand and watches as he measures her pulse and thus monitors the work of her other organs. — Apart from the abrasions, you have nothing serious. Why did you come?

— And I was hoping so, — the girl said it more to herself than to him. — I wanted to eat delicious food.

— To eat? Huh, I can cook something for the abrasions, but you know you can't eat it. Jiaoqiu smiles at her when he sees her droop after he finished his words. He grins and slaps her on the head before continuing, "If that's what you want, I can feed you that way."

The girl immediately jumps up from her seat, as if not believing his words. He just smiles and walks over to a rack with a lot of drawers. He gets the ingredients he needs from there, cuts them up, puts everything in a small pot, fills it with water and stirs it.

Jiaoqiu puts the pot on the fire, waves his fan, and a pleasant smell wafts throughout the room. The man does not pay attention to how Y/N is already sleeping on the couch. Perhaps she would be praising the way he was once again creating a culinary masterpiece.

Taking the pot off the fire, he puts it on the table and pours the soup into a plate. He also made tea. It is not particularly different from the usual one, but has a better healing effect. He wanted to give her the ointment right away, but changed his mind. Because another idea came to his mind.

— Y/N, everything is ready. When he gets no answer, he turns around, but sees her sleeping on the couch near the entrance. Sighing heavily, he walks up to her and pokes her on the cheek. He chuckles a little when she squirms at his touch. But she opens her eyes anyway. — Go ahead.

— Oh, good! — Y/N jumps up from his seat and goes to the table, where everything is ready. I'm ready to be treated by you for the rest of my life!

— I'm not sure that you come here specifically for treatment. Jiaoqiu laughs when she sees her face, as if she's been caught red—handed. Which, in principle, it is.

— Mm.. Who knows. — The girl smiles at him, but he does not respond to this, only raises an eyebrow at her words. Y/N sits down at the table and starts eating the soup he has prepared. If she had the same ears and tail as Jiaoqiu, they would show how happy she is now to try something delicious.

— Is it that delicious? The fox smiles at her.

— Very much! You can't imagine how! — Y/N finishes the last portion and washes it down with a glass of tea that was brewed by a man. But she starts to feel like everything is starting to burn in her mouth. — Jiaoqiu, why did it become so sharply acute?

"You'll know how to distract me from my work for nothing." Jiaoqiu smiles at her as if he hadn't done anything. While the girl is outraged by his actions, he just laughs at her.

He is by no means against such a company and the fact that he is distracted from work. Even if his position in the commission depended on it, he would not miss a single moment to make a person smile just at the thought that the food would be prepared by none other than Jiaoqiu, a healer from Yaoqing.

#x reader #hedcanon #oneshot #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #jiaoqiu x reader #jiaoqiu #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you

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rosie-writings · 2 days

Text

Something In the Way You Lay

Summary: Vessel agrees to do an interview making you panic, but you realize it’s not an interview but an announcement, a tribute.

Warnings: Vessel x Reader smut, Oral sex, Unprotected sex, overall heart wrenching fluff…

Words: 5.3k

No Y/N Use

Title is from ‘Jericho’ by Sleep Token

When Vessel was asked to do that interview, a part of me froze to the floor in shock that he agreed.

It was backstage after a show, and I was in the middle of the chaos between celebrating, post show rituals, and crew clean up. It was always get to venue, work with venue, go to the next venue that I forgot to catch my breath in between. IV was the one who told me when Vessel spoke to their manager and a manager from the venue who brought a man who worked at the radio station around the corner. It sounded crazy and on a whim, but there was no other way I would expect any of them to accept an interview.

“I’m sorry, what now?” Was the only way I could reply to IV’s foreign words. He huffed a laugh as the facemask and jacket hit the sofa behind him. He brushed a hand through dripping sweaty hair.

”You heard me, so hurry and get shit together.” He tried to walk past me but I stood in front of him.

”An interview? You guys are taking an interview right now?”

”Yeah,” he said. “Just Vessel and II actually, but this morning Vessel got a message from the radio statio sponsoring the venue, and we were asked to do two acoustic songs and maybe an interview in between and he said yes after sending an outline of what we are willing to talk about.”

”Jesus Christ,” I gasped and his arm moved past me.

”So let’s hurry because showers and packing are a must.” My eyes darted around the room. Backstage crew already started the dirty work of cleaning his dressing room so I spun on my heel to apologize to the venue’s backstage crew.

”Oh my god!” I gasped as I rounded the corner and collided into someone. “I’m so sorry.”

”You’re so good,” he laughed.

“I was actually looking for you,” I said and he paused. He was the backstage crew team leader.

”What’s up?”

”The band just now accepted an interview at the radio station and they are busting their ass trying to get over there. I’m really sorry but I gotta get their shit and take care of them. I usually clean the venue and help your team but I just fucking can’t—“

”No prob, I totally understand.”

“Okay good,” I sighed as I continued on past him. My heart pounded in my throat. “Thanks so much.” He waved me on as he collected his team.

Of course the first room I broke into was Vessel’s.

There he was back to the door with another crew member with him. He spun around hastily with his eyes wide and wandering. They softened as they landed on me.

”What?” I simply asked as I closed the door and walked up to him.

”Yes,” he quickly said. “It’s fine.”

”Are you sure it’s fine? Ivy talked about an outline, did you actually—“

”Yes,” he repeated as he whirled around and grabbed a paper from the desk. The fluorescent bulbs around it etched our shadows into the white walls on the other side of us. “Here. Make whatever changes you think are necessary. I already sent it to them, but we can give them a new physical—”

”Vessel,” I said quietly and he stopped. He looked at the crew member and they started for the door. I took a deep breath.

Alone now, he took a step closer.

”I’m really sorry we’ve been moving so fast I hardly have seen you.”

”That-That’s fine, we can talk about that later. Right now I’m wondering what the hell you’re thinking about saying in that—“

My voice died in my throat when he held my face with both of his hands.

”For such a pretty face it sure is twisted up with stress and anger a lot. Maybe chill out for a moment.”

I sighed impatiently before he kissed me. Maybe it numbed the ringing thoughts that pestered my mind, but it took my whine for him to pull away. I pushed him off me.

”No really though, what are you going to say?”

”You really think we have done anything not calculated? I didn’t mean to leave you out of this, I had known about the station’s interest, and we had already decided we’d do an acoustic like three or four days ago. Hey now, I know I’m sorry don’t be upset,” he soothed me as my eyebrows rose and cold air filled my lungs. “It was kind of spur of the moment, but at the same time we’ve been considering it for a while, honestly ever since this album dropped.”

”Why didn’t you say anything?”

”To be fair, it’s only one interview where we put harsh parameters the host must follow.”

”Maybe,” I sighed. “I’d like to be more in the loop of things.”

”I know,” he sighed this time. “And I’m sorry about that. We keep being pulled in different directions with work.” I held him tightly as his arms came around me.

“How the hell did you shower so fast?” He burst out laughing and pushed me away. “I just realized you already washed the paint off.”

”Yeah, I knew we were in a rush so I went straight to the showers. We gotta go now though,” he said as he turned back around and got his things in order.

”Ves?” A voice on the other side of the door grabbed our attention followed by a couple knocks.

”Yeah?” He asked and the door slowly opened.

”Oh hey,” III greeted me when his eyes landed on mine first. “Crew’s good to go.”

”Shit, already?” He asked. A few crew members rushed in from III’s side.

”Yeah so let’s go. The car’s out back and Ivy’s already waiting.”

”Alright,” he sighed. He yanked on a black hoodie, grabbed his sunglasses, a black face mask, and shoved paperwork, his laptop, and personal belongings back into his backpack before he followed me out of the room.

”Ves,” I whispered as I allowed more space between us and III.

”What?” He asked as his hands met my waist so he wouldn’t run into me.

”I could just go back to the hotel room, I don’t have to—“

”No, you’re coming.”

”Okay,” I simply said. I was not the one to argue with Vessel in the middle of a rushed group of people trying to get from one venue to another.

As we emerged from the backstage, another SUV pulled up and I looked to my right to see the first already leaving. Vessel and I got in just as II rushed through the backstage door as well. He hopped in the passenger front seat.

”The interview is literally only ten minutes,” Vessel started I watched as he looked up from his phone. “We don’t have time for much more if we want to sleep.”

”What will you even say in ten minutes?” II looked at me with a smirk that skipped my heart. What did they have planned? “Ves, what’s—“

”Did you not read the paper I showed you?” I shook my head.

”Uh no, I had an entire sixteen seconds to look at it before we hauled ass out of there.” II burst out laughing.

”It’s all planned. It’s just a message we’re sending out.”

A message.

I didn’t push them for anymore.

When should I ever have doubted them? Vessel gave me a dark all knowing look, and I wondered if this was all part of their show, why did they need me? More so, why did Vessel need me?

This was all his story anyway.

In the radio station, II led Vessel into the recording room with a guitar in hand, and I was surprised that II was the one playing and not IV or at least Vessel. But when I peered through the glass door, I watched the way their eyes met, and I remembered once again how this all started in the first place.

The last thing I anticipated was Vessel and II whipping out Jericho acoustic in the middle of an on air radio station at 11:45pm but here we were.

“Until I wake I dine on old encounters, you taste like new flesh.”

As Vessel sang, my eyes were totally transfixed just as they always were when that man opened his mouth. It wasn’t often that I got to watch II play guitar for him; he used to before they pulled an entire band together.

“Something in the way you lay, enough to make the dead switch graves.”

A round of chills itched my skin as I watched Vessel’s body move with his voice. What the hell were they doing and why the hell did they start with this song? This was old, before Vessel and I were together old, and that says a lot.

I knew what this song meant to him, and I knew its place in his story. It was the start of something different and new after he put to rest his life before.

And when II started fingerpicking the melody of Euclid, I almost wanted to cry. It was a beginning, it was an end. Or was Euclid an end? Maybe it was a corridor?

“Just run it back, give me five whole minutes I am thick tar on the inside burning…”

I couldn’t get over his voice, the way he moved as he sang. The deepest part of himself was exposed if only for a moment, and I was proud that the world got to see that of him. I got the rest.

“Call me when you have the time I just need to leave this part of me behind. Do you remember me?”

I concealed a gasp as I thought about it. The transformation—the ascension and inability to move on after learning a deeper knowledge—he can’t go back but if he wants to move on he has to recognize that it changed him. Now he asks if he’s still recognizable through this change.

“For me it’s still the autumn leaves, these ancient canopies, that we used to lay beneath…”

He’s known by her because of the setting they are in, wherever they are. I wrestled with the idea of this being him versus himself or if he had actually moved away, but it sounded to me that he was the only one who had changed because she had always been the same and she had always been there for him at the same time, every time.

“By now the night belongs to you, this bough has broken through. I must be someone new…”

What was the interview about? Why would Vessel crank these two songs out back to back before uttering a word?

“In turning divine, we tangle endlessly. Like lovers entwined I know for the last time. You will not be mine so give me the night…”

My lips parted in anticipation when II put down the guitar and the host and crew clapped. But Vessel grabbed the mic and brought it closer to his facemask as the host spoke.

With a fullness in his chest, Vessel completely interrupted the host’s first question.

“Light is what brought me closer to death. It’s not death itself that swallows whole, but the light that comes from it. Darkness is soothing after being burned, and when I allowed it to finally cover me, it made me new. I faced this light until it scoured me thoroughly, and I wasn’t sure I could ever feel whole again but I fought and fought through this anger and it promised something on the other end. I had known a kind of peace until this chemical found me, and I had never seen light again after I fought it. But it took me out of all I knew; a naive place that tortured me none the wiser. Now, through ascending into this darkness, I found a different peace, one that I was sure no one thought was possible.

“Though I found that there is a god who has made peace known, and even though I have stood face to face with her inside of myself, I have found that there’s still something beyond. Something inside of the looming dark that follows us even when we don’t know. It’s not the antithesis of who this god is, however, I have found that it not only lives not as an opposite, but a mirror of who this god could be. A shadow that this god created, and she has called it good.”

When Vessel pushed the microphone away, chills cascaded down my arms, and when they both stood up, I held my breath so my stomach could settle.

I didn’t wait to hear what the stunned radio host had to say as Vessel and II left the recording room, and I didn’t ask them what was going on when they passed me and b-lined for the backdoor from where we came. When we hopped into the SUV again, it sounded like Vessel took a breath.

And I was certain that it was the recycled air I once had because the tension in my chest nearly suffocated me.

”That was good, man,” II’s light cherry voice said as he reached a hand back.

”Thanks, man,” Vessel said casually and clapped his hand once. My throat burned and I laughed to break my tension.

”Jesus Christ.”

The closing of the hotel door was what welcomed the ringing back into my ears. Vessel passed me and dropped his bag to the floor. I slowly did the same as him. His voice in the interview and that light in his eyes; he was all consuming when those words flow through him. I watched as he pulled the facemask and glasses off, and I wasn’t able to think about anything else other than that interview.

Never in a lifetime would I assume Vessel would agree to an interview live on air, but there we were but four minutes post show.

“Hey,” he breathed. “Are you okay?”

”I think I’m very tired.” He nodded.

”Me too.”

“The next album will be so badass, won’t it?” And he broke a wide smile.

”If you let it be.” Of course I nodded, and he walked towards me.

”Won’t you show it to me already?” My voice was almost a whine as his hands traveled up my sides.

“You’ve looked in the mirror thousands of times already,” he sighed as he kissed my face and dropped his lips down my neck. I hummed as I tipped my head to the side to give him room.

“You’re an idiot.” I gasped when his teeth stung my skin. “But no really,” I gasped before a frustrated sound punched from me. He fully ignored me and devoured my skin leaving cool trails of chills in his wave. “I need to know. I need to hear it; it’s not fair that I don't get to hear it before the world—oh god.” He lifted me up by the backs of my thighs and laid me down on the bed.

”Vessel,” I whined his name but he didn’t give me an answer. He tried to distract me with his mouth, his hands, his body but of course it didn’t work. “At least tell me something.”

”Did you listen to what I said in the interview?” The knot in my throat bobbed and I nodded quickly.

”How can I ever not listen to what you have to say?” He sighed as that familiar endearing gaze looked down at me. He pushed the hair from my face.

”The entire point of the albums is how I learned to trust myself and find peace in myself after not being able to, you do know that right?” I nodded again. “And so if you listened to what I said at that interview—“

”You have a weird way of doing interviews.” He broke a smile but continued on.

”Then I wanted to ask you if you know what your name meant?” My heart skipped.

I knew what it meant, but when did he take the time to find out? Of course he did; at this point I had to assume that this man knew everything intricate because there was no detail he missed.

”What does it mean?” His voice playfully rose. I swallowed hard as his mouth etched down my throat again. I had to slam my eyes closed because the room dizzied around us. My hand found his hair as he pulled my shirt up and gave my stomach the same attention.

”It means,” I choked when his eyes flashed up at me evilly; his fingers traced the underside of the top of my pants. “It means belonging to the dark.”

“That’s right.” The sweet smoothness of his voice hit my skin and another wave of chills flooded the area locally. The zip of my pants. “So if you put two and two together…” A flush heated my face and I covered my eyes with the back of my arm. I couldn’t hold back a moan when my pants came off of me and pulled my underwear down with them.

“You’re insane,” I hummed. It was the only semblance of a sentence I could muster. He broke a laugh and held my hip with one hand; his thumb pushed into my skin and stroked the area that would probably soon be flushed red with irritation and friction. “Oh shit—“ My nails dug into his scalp when he sucked harsh bruises in between my thighs. He was so close but so far and everywhere all at once except the exact place I needed most. “You're just so-so obsessed with me, aren't you?”

”You know I’m obsessed with everything and everyone I love, and you I love the most.”

“Then hurry, why do you always keep me waiting.”

”Because I’m just really not kind and love to watch you beg for me and need me the way I need you.” Heat encapsulated my heart, and I pulled on him until he followed my touch and crawled eye level to me.

”I don’t think there’s a moment where I don’t need you.”

”Maybe I just enjoy watching you show it like this.”

”Maybe it just taps your ego when I’m begging for you.” His head tossed side to side in contemplation as a smirk drew on his dark lips.

”Maybe, maybe not—“ I pulled him into a kiss before he could waste anymore time and words. This time he moaned into my mouth when I pulled on his hair and touched down the front of his clothes.

When my hand reached the top of his sweatpants, he pushed his hips into it and I smiled through the kiss.

”And now you’re teasing me for wanting you back?” He gasped as he caught his breath. “You can’t blame me, it’s been a couple weeks now.”

“And whose fault is that?” He shook his head and dropped the playful demeanor.

When he shoved me into the pillows until I sank no more, I knew we were done with the teasing and prodding. Especially when he was the one who haphazardly pulled at his pants until they were on the floor. I was the one who snaked my hands up the front of his hoodie and remembered every inch of his skin before I, too, yanked an article of clothing off.

He moaned as it came up and over his head; he sat to his knees as I rose up and chased his skin down.

”Baby,” he hummed when I kissed his skin, staring at his chest and slowly making my way down. “Oh fuck—“ I startled him when I immediately wrapped my hand around him and stroked him slowly. I didn’t waste time, like I said, and I knew he assumed I wanted revenge in teasing but I couldn’t. He brushed his hand through my hair to keep it from my face, and his breathing became so heavy that his body moved in time with it.

When my kisses were so low that his heat fogged my breath and I felt the pacing of my hand on his length against my chin, he subconsciously pushed me lower.

”There’s no need to be so mean,” he sighed breathlessly.

And so I smiled up at him like he smiled at me from below.

He shook his head and blinked furiously.

“Now,” he demanded as his fingers gouged my scalp. With a gasp, I opened my mouth and took everything from him that I could. His moans alone were worth the teasing.

I moaned out of my nose once, partly because of the weight of him on my tongue and partly because I couldn’t breathe when he shoved that deep into me, and my eyes watered as he thrusted his hips harsher than he probably needed to.

”Good—fuck, you’re doing so well for me, always make me feel so good.”

I did. I always made him feel otherworldly, no wonder why he was so obsessed with me. I would be obsessed with myself too.

I moaned around him as he tapped the back of my throat and I pressed my tongue harder against the underside of him. He gasped and lurched forward only to be stung by my nails in his hips.

”Sorry,” he whispered ever so quietly. I came off of him with a gasp and stroked him quickly until uncontrollable moans punched out of him.

“Don’t suffocate me.” A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips.

”Don’t worry,” he laughed. “You take my breath away too.” I slapped his thigh as I took him down again. Another string of moans and explicit words fell from his mouth, and I repeated every movement that I knew pulled more and more of those sweet sounds from him. My hand now pumped him where I couldn’t comfortably reach, and his face twisted and his head rolled back with pleasure when I tightened around him. His hips rhythmically moved in and out, and I knew it built under his skin. I knew he climbed and climbed and I knew where he was going.

”Stop,” he breathed. “I’m filling you with my come somewhere else.” I gasped when he roughly pulled me off of him.

And when he was free, he acted so fast I didn’t have the time to think.

My head pinned to the pillows and my thighs pushed back until they couldn’t anymore. His mouth was on mine as if he needed to taste himself on my tongue, and I pulled and scratched him until I was sure he was permanently under my nails.

I didn’t stop him and I didn’t try to sit up and defy his unspoken orders when he kissed and bit down my body. He yelled anked the rest of my clothes off in the process, and I tried to catch my breath, but the fire under his mouth intensified and consumed me whole. How could I even take a breath when all his energy was spent on lavishing my body like this?

”Ves—“ He didn’t stop, no, not when I tried to call for him. Not when I tugged on his hair again; I knew it could bring him to his knees so of course it egged him on. ”Oh my god—“ A similar trail of expletives left my throat the moment his tongue met me. He pressed my thighs back and didn’t allow me a second to close them. His moans were all I needed to hear, and I tossed my head back.

Obscene noises of his tongue and fingers working the mess in between my legs mixed with my moans, and somewhere in the thick of it he also hummed at the taste of me. I felt the bed move once and twice and I wished it was me he grinded into instead of the mattress.

”Ves please, it’s enough.”

”Not enough for me,” he spat and dove back down. Tears welled in my burning eyes the moment his tongue replaced his fingers inside of me. His thumb now swirled against me and he didn’t slow the relentless movements even as I whined and begged.

“How many times do I have to tell you; I need you inside of me, now,” I seethed. He came up for air.

”You’ll tell me every single time I want you to and every time you say it I need to hear it again.”

”It just sounds like I’m in control here.” He scoffed and shook his head.

“You’re silly, who cares?” I didn’t, and certainly not when he looked at me like I gave him breath.

”Stop,” I whined. “I’m past ready. I want you.”

“I always want you,” he sighed in response, and when he crawled over me and sank down to kiss me, he slid into me in one startling motion. I whined against him, and immediately my palms found his back. It was so fast that I didn’t have time to catch my breath. He finally gave me what I asked for, but I didn’t expect him to so easily.

He was just as tired as I was.

”Oh god,” he sighed as he held my face, his thumb hooked under my jaw. “You always feel so fucking good for me, you’re mine. My bed, my home.” I groaned as he picked up the pace and rolled his hips with mine firmly.

”Ves,” I sighed and I pushed his hair back. He lifted himself high so he could catch his breath, and I couldn't pull my eyes from the way his closed tightly. His lips parted in pleasure and moans fell from them. His arm hooked under my waist and he yanked me down on him just as he fucked his hips forward. “Shit!” I gasped and that was when he opened his eyes and looked down with a smile.

”Yeah like that?” He teased. “You know I know what you like, you know I know how to make you feel good.”

”I know,” I whined. So I also rolled my hips towards him in time with his movements, and I squeezed around him just as he pushed as deep as he could.

”Fuck—“ he gasped, and he caught himself with his hand next to my head on the pillows. “If you keep doing that, you better be alright with me filling your pussy full because I can’t stop.” I choked a gasp from his cutthroat sentiment, and I only pulled him deeper and deeper.

”Can’t believe you would even question if I would be okay with that or not,” I spat and he grabbed me by the hair.

“Oh yeah? You would be okay being stuffed full of my come all the time, wouldn’t you?”

“If you don’t fuck me properly I might die.”

”Always the dramatics with you,” he sighed dramatically before he raised to his knees and yanked my hips over his thighs. I gasped and threw my hands to the bed behind me to keep me from falling back on my upper back.

”As if you’re not equally dramatic.” The only response he had for me was the punishing thrusts of his hips, and I bit my lip until I tasted blood so that the band member who shared walls with us didn’t have to hear me. “Oh my fucking god, this is just practice. When we get home I expect you to try to make neighbors hear you.”

”Fuck,” I cried when I opened my mouth. He grabbed my hips and fucked them down on him harder with a smile on his face. “The nearest house is a three minute walk away.” He laughed and nodded his head.

”Yeah, that’s how hard I’ll go on you.”

”I’m so close,” I finally broke. His smile fell and he watched my hand as he dipped in between us and swirled against me.

”I know,” he whispered. He kissed me but I couldn’t even kiss back; the pleasure decimated any kind of chance I had at tasting him. My teeth held onto his lip and he allowed me to have a tiny hold on him.

”Baby,” he gasped in warning. I opened my eyes and watched as his were hazy and filled with intensity. “I’m going to.” I nodded quickly.

”Fill me,” I whined, and neither of us could get out another word. He wrapped his arms around my waist so I wouldn’t fall, and my hand found the back of his neck to bring him closer. At the sound of my name on his lips, my eyes snapped shut. Pleasure showered over me, and I couldn’t breathe or stop for anything. I couldn’t do anything except let it swallow me and possess me completely.

His fingers left bruises on my side, on my hip, and he slowed his movements. Even as overstimulation caught up to me, I allowed him to still ride his pleasure out. I held onto him still and finally was able to kiss him. He hardly kissed back, too blissed out and out of his body still, but I didn’t care and I kissed him, down his face and neck, and tangled my fingers in his hair again. He hummed and tipped back into the touch.

“God, you keep ruining me,” he moaned. I laughed.

”You did this to yourself.” He smiled and finally opened his eyes. I pushed his hair back and took initiative to fully sit on him. This time his hands found the bed behind him and he held himself up as I straddled him. I couldn't take my gaze from his eyes as the haze mixed with contentment and fatigue. I could drown in them all day for eternity.

“You are just so cruel to me and for what?” I laughed evilly when I didn’t get away with my intentions; of course he clocked me. “I can feel it all over me already.”

”It’s not my fault I just wanted to see you and hold you.”

”Yeah, right,” he scoffed. I kissed him breathless, and this time my hand hooked under his jaw. He moaned into me and his hand came up my back.

And when we were breathless and flushed again, I pulled away from him.

”Don’t you—okay,” he sighed in defeat. I laughed as I got off of him; our mess poured from me and onto him to deal with.

I laughed as I grabbed a towel from the bathroom. When I walked back, he was in the same position with dark eyes tracing my entire body.

”Maybe I should force you to clean it up without the towel,” he said. I sat in between his legs and he looked down at me.

”Then what would I use?” I anticipated his reply as I lowered myself further and further down.

”It seems like you already know—“ He cut himself off with a gasp when my tongue met his skin. I licked up our fluids and he thrusted his hips up again in reflex. But I held him down, and when I was done, I straddled him again.

I didn’t expect him to follow through with it, but there he was succumbing to my thumb that pulled his bottom lip down. Then the fluids poured from my mouth into his. His chest heaved once or twice and his eyes widened with an overwhelmed darkness, but I didn’t care. I held him steady there and kissed him when I couldn’t wait anymore. I should have been revolted by the taste of ourselves shared between us, but I couldn’t be when it was tempered by the sweetness of his moans.

”That’s going to fucking kill me,” he gasped when I pulled away, and it was true; his face flushed pink. I smiled and held it still.

”And you’ll be fine because you want it to.”

Sleep Token Taglist (Comment to be Added)—

#rosie writings #rosie hub #18+ only #minors dni #sleep token #sleep token vessel #vessel x reader #vessel #vessel smut #sleep token smut #sleep token fic #fanfic #smut

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h-yellowfell · 1 day

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A mother's grief

"Once an unstoppable fighter and blazing flame, Ceroba now spends most of her days wallowing in grief- most mistake her for a ghost, wandering the halls of an abandoned mansion, looking for the family she lost in a single night…

These days however she spends a lot of time in the wild east, perhaps looking a bit out of place in the lively and feisty town, but after a friend offered her a home away from all the painfull memories, she can't help but smile at his anticts…that is until a child much too similar to one she used to know shows up, and she is forced to contront her past and the burden legacy she carries"

Extras (please check this out!):

Heya folks!

oh boy- this post has been a long time coming! ceroba was probably one of the hardest characters to do, i mean there's just so much around her! i have a lot of concept art until i landed on something solid

However i couldn't stop there! i had to make a little sprite for her! and my dear friend @youtube-fucker was so kind to animate her too, i honestly can't thank him enough!

So, lets talk Ceroba!

Ceroba is a curious little case, perhaps the only monster (besides flowey) with a very calm attitude, even if its mostly brought on by a lack of energy, with a more genuienly motherly actions towards Clover, its quite a change of pace to the constant fighting the kid has grown acostumed to- perhaps because of that they're always more polite towards her, even actively searching for her aproval

Most of her backstory should become more clear when im done with Chujin and Kanako, however that shouldn't take too long! (i hope...), although im open to asks, you all should now by now i love an excuse to yap

For now though i'll be back on a small break as i allign the final pieces to this silly Au of mine...story wise at least, god knows i still have a lot of character designing ahead of me!

Thank you all for being here- Stay determined

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gatorbites-imagines · 2 days

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Can I request John Constantine fic where the reader is a eldritch or an angel that's known the league for a while or they capture them but John knows them.

I'm a literal whore for that man 👹

John Constantine x Angel male reader

Headcanons

Reader’s bit of a black sheep amongst angels, cuz I feel like Constantine would go great with a bit of a rebel.

its honestly taken me too long to realize that lucifer from the show is the same lucifer as in the DC comics.

You had a bit of a past with John Constantine, with you being a bit of a rulebreaker amongst the angels and all. I mean, you still went to visit your brother Lucifer on the regular, even if you had been told not to.

Michael had scolded you more times than you could count, telling you not to pop in and out of hell as you please just because you want too, or to not just teleport to earth willy-nilly when Lucifer relocated there for a while.

It was at Lucifers club that you met Constantine for the first time. You didn’t really speak to him, but you did see how he seemed to truly get on your older brothers’ nerves, so you already liked him for that alone.

After the blonde Brit left, Lucifer would give you the whole spiel about him, complaining about how many times he had sold his soul, and all the trouble his actions caused in hell, and how much paperwork the blonde gave him.

After that you bump into him in other places. You like to party, you like to fight, you like to be a nuisance. And its not like anybody can stop an angel as powerful as yourself if they wanted. They’re lucky you just like to be annoying by nature and that you aren’t actually evil.

It ends up with you getting mixed up in some of the things Constantine get up too, even if its by accident because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You always just know that Michael is gonna be on your neck when you get back to heaven after each time, but hanging out with John is worth it.

Hes tried to get you drunk so many times, but it never works no matter what kind of stuff he pulls out of his coat. Being angelic doesn’t really allow you to be weakened by something as small as alcohol. But its fun to see him try anyways.

In the eyes of your siblings, even Lucifer, Constantine is a bad influence, and they’ll scold you for spending so much time with a mortal, especially someone as twisted on the ledgers as Constantine. You just always shrug, flutter your wings, and fly off to do whatever it is you do. Being the youngest has its perks, since it means you get away with quite a lot.

It was also this carefree attitude that got you caught and locked up by the league. They hadn’t dealt with many angels before, so in the beginning they think you are something else. Be It a mutant or a spirit.

You could easily escape if you wanted too. Something as weak as a man-made structure wasn’t gonna hold you, but you had been bored for weeks now, so why not see what happens. You do get pretty annoyed when they talk about you like you cant hear them. They don’t know you can hear them, but still.

Zatanna easily spots that you are of divine descent, but just how far up in the hierarchy you are is a bit lost to her, since they still believe you can be captured by human means. This is why they’re forced to call in Constantine, since hes the only one they know who regularly interacts with an angel.

The Brit has a good laugh when he sees you sitting on the floor in a cell pouting, your wings wrapped around you like a cocoon. At this point you just phase out of the cell to flick Constantine in the temple for laughing at you.

John is the one that has to explain that you could have escaped the entire time if you wanted, you were just a dick that got bored easily. The dick comment makes you huff and smack him with your wing.

After all that is cleared up, the two of you go out to drink like usual. I could imagine the league trying to figure out if you’d be willing to help them when times are tough, but to their dismay you just shrug and give a “if I feel like it”.

Constantine will later explain to them in passing, mainly to roast you, that you are the youngest, which means that you aren’t used to real work and can just do whatever you want, cuz all your older siblings baby you.

His chair disappears from right under him for that comment, so the league takes it with a grain of salt. In the end you help out if there really is no other way, since angels shouldn’t interfere with minor issues.

Most of the time on earth you spend with John though, since he matches your wavelength and isn’t freaked out by the whole angel thing.

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smallmightsupremacy · 2 days

Text

Why we are getting a dvk3

So. The war is over now, and everything is supposed to go back to normal, right?

Wrong. I don't know about you, but this recent chapter was... a roller coaster of emotions, to say the least. We went from the highs of graduation to a mysterious new character all the way to some panels showing how Izuku isn't doing well mentally. And I have a lot of thoughts about that last point in particular. Especially for what this means for Izuku and Katsuki's relationship going forward. So, well before reading this chapter, I was a firm believer that we were going to get a dvk3. It just makes sense, right? Every pivotal moment of their relationship has been a dvk moment, so it wouldn't be a stretch to assume that the third pivotal moment of them becoming true equals would be a dvk too. Not convinced? Well, I'm going to breakdown one specific moment in this chapter and explain why this makes me even more sure that we're getting a dvk3 The moment I'm referring too is Izuku's interaction with Ochako:

We start off with Izuku looking off into the distance after hearing the words "why I wanted to become a hero" from Mawata. It wouldn't be a stretch to assume that those words were enough to make him reflect on himself and beliefs; to reflect on his own why. Why exactly did he become a hero?

Well, we already know the answer to that: to save people with a smile.

But in the final war, did Izuku actually achieve that? He doesn't seem fully convinced about that idea:

He believes that he didn't fully save Tenko, and those feelings of self-hatred, of not being good enough rose to the surface when the why of becoming a hero was brought up. Hence, his pensive expression in that first frame. Clearly Izuku's going through some turmoil right now. Self-hatred, emptiness, probably no sense of direction about where he wants to go in his life now that he's quirkless... the list goes on. So what does he decide to do about it? He approaches Ochako:

Maybe it's to talk about her moment on the UA rooftop which was referenced just before, but it doesn't seem that way. They've already talked about that moment already, why bring it up again? I mean, you could argue that it's Izuku telling her not to be so humble or embarrassed over that moment, but his reaction when she changes the direction of the conversation says otherwise:

He looks so upset, like he wanted to truly talk about his feelings with a trusted friend. The war is over. There's no need for him to control his heart again. He can finally talk about his feelings... yet he gets brushed off.

The fact that this panel of him frowning is right next to one of Ochako laughing says A LOT too It wasn't an accident that this panel of Izuku was put next to one of Ochako smiling. This was done for a reason. I think that reason is to showcase Izuku reaching a realization-- the realization that everyone is starting to move on from the war and smile again while he's stuck in a slump. I think it's in that panel, where he decides that he won't try to talk about his feelings again. If he does, then he'll bring down the mood and no one will be smiling anyone. Remember, Izuku still blames himself for the reason why his class got targeted, so he probably blames himself for them getting injured and upset from the war too. In his mind, the least he can do is keep quiet about his feelings and suffer in silence at the gain of everyone else's happiness. That being said, this is by no means an attack on Ochako's character at all. She's a great friend to Izuku- hell, that's probably the reason why he decided to go to her specifically to talk about his feelings -but I think there's a part of her that doesn't want to talk about what happened in the war either.

Even if there was, she still would've said something or shown concern if she could truly see how much the war was impacting Izuku. Instead, she misses it. She misses it because, as close as they are, she's the person from class 1A that knows Izuku second best. So that leaves only one person who can help Izuku process his feelings: the one person that knows Izuku best; the one person that will be able to see through his guise of pretending to be alright and save him before he reaches the point of self-destruction; the same person that has proven that they can and will do something like that time and time again. Sound familiar? Yeah. Katsuki is the only one that can help Izuku right now.

But it's not going to pretty. I'm not necessarily saying that dvk3 will involve a fight. On the contrary, I think that's the last thing that should happen for a multitude of reasons: Katsuki is still recovering, their relationship is at the point where they can have vulnerable conversations without throwing punches (read: the hospital scene), and it wouldn't make sense at all to have them throwing punches. Izuku hasn't got a quirk anymore; against Katsuki, he doesn't stand a chance of winning the fight. And that just negates all their growth of becoming equals. So perhaps we shouldn't call it Deku vs Kacchan 3, but rather Deku AND Kacchan 3 It's going to be a fight of them accepting feelings; both each other's and their own. There's going to be crying and tears and so much pain, but it's going to end up with Katsuki reaching out to Izuku so we can get that long awaited and incredibly foreshadowed handhold. So we can see that Katsuki still sees Izuku as an equal, quirk or no quirk.

At least, that's what I hope. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this too!!

#bnha #mha #mha manga spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #mha 425 #bnha 425 #bkdk #bakudeku #katsuki bakugou #bakugo katuski #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha meta #bnha meta

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toxycodone · 3 days

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what about a laios and a chubby reader who has a fascinations with monsters much like him. (they big back it together actually lmfaoo) and reader begins to notice that they were getting chubbier (bc senshi's food is so bomb they can't help but get seconds.) i don't see much chubby readers for laios...which in itself is a crime but i digress 😔😔

dude see this type of ask like. makes me so confused bc like. canonically being chubby is ideal for dungeons! I was reading lore extras and kui mentions like being able to maintain weight (especially excess weight) in the dungeon shows off skill in surviving bc it means you didn’t have to be revived often (since being revived costs calories). And before dungeon expeditions you wanna get a little weight on you bc it preps you for what’s ahead.

plus like, in the world of dungeon meshi it’s difficult to have a body that’s “abnormal” if that makes sense? Like there’s a lot of different beauty standards. And it’s all based on just culture and influence but obviously that doesn’t apply to everyone. The only real out of the ordinary is beastkin (but like. I think as time goes on that becomes less abnormal or something since kui draws a lot of them just chillin around in extras so!) IDK. I’m rambling let me answer the prompt.

I honestly don’t see Laios treating you much differently than anyone else, at least in the first meeting and getting to know you. Body type doesn’t matter as much. But he shares your enthusiasm about monsters (duh) and happily chats your ear off about them.

and when it comes to food and cooking he’s SO happy to see you eat seconds (along with Senshi tbh he’s probably super happy and proud of himself lol). I think it shows how much you appreciate their effort and “unorthodox” ways. The fact you’re so enthused about eating makes them happy, but especially Laios. You know how much he emphasizes eating three meals a day plus snacks! When you eat your fill he’s just all *glowy smile with flowers*.

And he asks you about the foooood. What did you think? What’s your favorite monster to eat? Did you like it better than the last one?

also…Laios feeding you…from his own utensils….😳

But also like. You know that extra with the orcs? He definitely loves your body type. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind about that 💀 bro was a second away from frothing.

#laios touden #hes my beloved.#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios x reader

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doctorprofessorsong · 3 days

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Hello! I recently watched The Winchesters and had a question, which I figured you could answer/discuss?

I'm aware that the show takes place in an Alt Universe, and that Spn's John never fell into the hunting life earlier, so he never knew Carlos personally. But still, it's still him — and he is not homophobic towards Carlos who is canonically bi. It can be argued that he just does not know, like he did not know about Carlos serving the Navy, but then what about Anton? We know Lata knows, of course. But has it been explicitly stated that Mary & John know too? And it's not like Carlos hides himself; he's open about his interests and that's amazing, but John is never portrayed as a Hater, no? Not in this sense in the show.

But we, as a fandom, have concluded that John is the reason for Dean's suppression of his own feelings — in general, and about being into men — but then... Carlos.

Did Dean assume his father would never approve? Because he never does of anything that has to do with feelings; it's always hunting and more hunting and revenge, of course. Is that what happened, rather than John actually being homophobic, he was a colossal failure of a parent who "just" pushed away his son(s) emotionally to a level where potential abuse and discouragement were more realistic than anything else? Does this also mean that when Dean does come out to John he would be supportive, at least, of this?

It's just been bugging me, is all.

Hoo boy. Throwing me an easy one before coffee, huh? :)

As a fun aside, there is a scene where a Carlos is mentioned in the mothership. It's not established to be the same Carlos in SPNwin, but the SPN episode was written by Robbie and he has acknowledged they are in his mind.

That doesn't get us to an answer, but it's nice to know that Dean and Sam possibly knew a version of Carlos.

Leading with the short answer to the actual question: what you have described regarding canon is a lot of assumptions and headcanons, which are fine and can absolutely be read as "John was just different in the different universes,' but I personally find that to be the boring answer. I think this fandom tends to write John as the evil bad dad, when a complex gray John is far meatier, so I'm often inclined to go deeper.

The answer I feel works better is the possibly unpopular opinion that we don't actually know John is homophobic at all and it's very possible Dean’s relationship with his father, while fraught with expectations in any number of ways, may not actually be driving his choice to live in the closet and/or his delayed realization of his sexual orientation. It's extremely possible John isn't homophobic at all. Dean may have read him that way or he may have felt pressure from external sources. These days my preferred reading tends to actually be something else entirely: that Dean knows he is queer and simply doesn't reveal it because he is of an era and a world where queerness is often not open and obvious to outsiders.

This is gonna be a long haul so I'm gonna pop in a courtesy cut and jump in. Don't worry. There WILL be headings and bullet points. Regret asking me yet? 😆

Is John homophobic?

Canon support

There isn't a ton of canon support for the homophobic John reading. That's not saying it isn't a valid reading. It's just that it's an interpretation and not fact. Here are the things I have seen or remember:

Martin and Tara - taking these together because they are a similar pattern. Both tell Dean his dad would be disappointed in him for running around with this male shaped monster (boyfriend). The textual reading is that John wouldn't want him running around with monsters. There is a subtexual reading that John wouldn't want him to have a boyfriend which is super valid. It just doesn't tell us much about John because 1. We know he was very black and white on monsters, 2. neither of these characters knows John that well. Tara got ghosted by him. It's possible this is a reflection of the larger hunter community (though possibly not even that). The point is it's canon evidence that can be taken either way.

Lee? A lot of people write that scene as John finding in them in a compromising position and I get it because Christian Kane and Jensen Ackles looked like they were about to sneak off to the bathroom, but the actual story is "You remember that time he caught us wasted on a Hunt? Hm? He was so mad, I-I thought he was gonna have an aneurysm." We know that John is really hard on Dean and Sam specifically because he chooses preparation for monsters over all (including their mental health) so this is absolutely consistent with his character regardless of any romance between them.

The nuns - this is not technically canon, but there is a story about John sending Dean on a solo hunt on his birthday to chase after queer nuns. First and foremost, I am noting this is sketchy from a canon/non-canon evidence perspective. It is something written and endorsed by SPN in the same way as the cartoon and the upcoming graphic novel. It's not fan fiction, but I would say it's not truly canon canon. But taking the evidence for what it is, it's interesting to note that in the journal John doesn't actually say anything homophobic. He describes the hunt as "Simple salt-and-burn mission. Nuns in love with each other, then discovered. Killed themselves." There's no commentary. No slurs. They were "in love." The real meat of the homophobia here is that he sent is queer son alone on his birthday to deal with them and it could be read as a message. That doesn't mean it's intended to be one.

That's all I can think of. It's not a lot and it's not definitive. It's perfectly valid to read it as support for homophobic John AND I think there may be some writer intent in the same way that monsters are often an allegory in the show and in media for queerness.

But it's also not a smoking gun. It's more of a unloaded gun with bullets next to it. So why do people think John is this super homophobic person?

Non-canon support and factors

There's a lot that goes into the interpretation of John that lies outside of the text.

His age and upbringing - He was raised in a time and place where acceptance of queer people wasn't exactly the default and then he went into the military which is also not exactly known for being particularly great for queer acceptance.

Classism - I say this gently to the fandom, but there is this idea that people who aren't in urban areas, and especially in poor rural areas must be homophobic. This comes up a lot in the Sam went to Stanford and is educated and therefore is a better ally headcanon. It's worth considering whether that is a factor here.

He raised his kids with military precision when he was around - there is no doubt that John was a hard man who treated his children like soldiers. A lot of people group gender and sexual orientation, especially when it comes to the gender aspects of masculinity where "be a man" and "be tougher" is frequently aimed at queer men. There's a lot of masculinity reinforcement for sure in the text and subtext of the show.

He's a bad dad and we're a bunch of traumatized queers with daddy issues. I know because I'm not only the owner, I'm a member.

I'm simplifying some of this, but there are a lot of factors that contribute to this reading and they are real and valid reasons. They just aren't textual and in some cases they are absolutely based in stereotypes. That's fine! Stereotypes aren't always incorrect. But they can be and it's worth wondering whether or not they are true.

There are plenty of people like John who are either not homophobic, or of the nature of it's fine if I don't see it variety of homophobia (which would actually be fairly logical to read into given the time and place of Dean's upbringing and the risk being openly queer presented especially for John who's priority is physical safety and preparation).

Personally, I find the lack of text to be fairly compelling, especially when we look at Dean's other behaviors, but that is my interpretation. I personally think John would have a problem with a monster boyfriend because of the monster bit, but doesn't give a fuck about the boyfriend bit except to the extent it may draw danger. I don't actually think John fits the rural strict father homophobic stereotype very well. He's not particularly religious. He doesn't seem to care what his kids do as long as they are safe and in the family business. He doesn't quiz Dean about where he was or who he was with.

I grew up in the South and have known a lot of homophobic parents in my day (including my own! See above). The pattern is often a parent who wants their kid to meet a certain social standard. Don't be gay because it will reflect bad on the family and you will go to hell. John shows negative interest in that arena.

He shows some of the don't be gay because it isn't manly aspects of that type of parent, but I also think a lot of people conflate masculinity with sexual orientation in this analysis. I say this specifically nodding to the Krikpe quote about umbrellas which in no way mentions being gay, but does mention being tough hunters not scared of demons. The text of that tweet and the story the fandom tells are two very distinct things.

It's very possible that those aspects of John's personality are part of why Dean performs tough het male so hard and that would be an aspect of what you are describing. I will also say however that Dean cries a lot. He's very open with his emotions and with caring for people. He's very good with people. Hes always been openly a caretaker. So he isn't performing masculinity so hard that those pieces of him are erased or hidden.

Why is Dean Like That if it isn't the daddy issues?

Let's look at this as if John wasn't openly and particularly notably homophobic. That is to say he had the casual homophobia of the 80s and 90s combined with a friend group of hypermasculine beer and bourbon drinking dudes with guns, but he wasn't, say, abusing Dean if he caught sight of potential gayness. Just to analyze the other question which is Dean's suppression of his feelings or denial of his queerness.

The fandom is not a monolith and I think there are lots of fans with lots of differing analysis in this arena, so I just want to again reiterate, this is all interpretation and headcanon! It's fine to fall anywhere in this spectrum.

Dean is Like That because he assumes he knows how his Dad would react

It's possible John talked about this idea that he has to get to an apple pie life long enough and made assumptions about the gender of his future partner, or that he was so neglectful or abusive, or that he made enough comments about being a "man" because he was worried about Dean being a victim, that Dean assumed his father would not support him. It's possible the canon events above where never intended to send a message to Dean that he still believed and read into them. That's not a criticism. We all interpret the things that happen to us. We are the ones who put meaning to an event, and that meaning may not match with the other person's intent. It doesn't make it invalid.

As you say, it may be a failure of parenting.

Dean is Like That because he grew up in the 80s and 90s

As someone who was born between Dean and Sam, I can say with the authority of experience that the 80s and 90s were a rough time to be queer. Like a really rough time. There were a lot of cultural things happening. Not to mention Dean had a rough upbringing.

HIV/AIDS - There are greater and more knowledgeable sources than me about this topic, but growing up during this time I can say that people were absolutely fucking awful about HIV/AIDS. We had school assemblies full of misinformation. Scores of people were dying and being told they deserved it. A lot of queer kids were internalizing the idea that queerness was a death sentence. I cannot actually come up with a good comparison in modern day. It was absolutely awful for the community, and the messages being delivered to kids was: "if you choose to be gay, you will die."

Casual homophobia - Remember when Misha used the f-word and people lost their fucking minds even though he was talking about lived experiences for most of us of a certain age? Yeah, that outrage was unimaginable to me as a kid. The idea that people would ever get to a point where the use of the word in a non-slur posture would even register. Slurs were thrown around all the time. People and things were "gay" and that was bad. Dean spent time being thrown from school to school and it would have been a massively important for him to come in performing cool masculine untouchable guy who enjoys women.

Dean lives in a transient space - He's constantly alone and in charge in places where someone might take advantage of him or Sammy. Being noticed and assumed weak is dangerous.

Counterpoint: Dean's upbringing may support more comfort rather than less with queerness, but it encouraged secrecy

To fully contradict myself, Dean was in transient spaces. That means he would have been interacting with more queer people than the average suburban or rural teen. He's in truck stops and no-tell motels. That boy met queer people. But he met people who were living in the shadows. This isn't unusual for that era. Queerness to dean was cruising and truck stops and one night stands in seedy motels. Something to be done but not to be seen.

Dean's reaction to queer people in canon supports this reading. He's never disgusted, but he's often surprised specifically about open and public displays of queerness. He tends to react to openly queer people with surprise and longing, but specifically most of his oh right there are queer people faces are reactions to open displays of queerness.

Even HIV/AIDS may have hit different in the hunting community. Dean didn't expect to live to an old age. I say this mainly because the lack of blood squick.

Consider a reading that he knows

We have so many lovely coded moments of queer Dean. The bathroom he disappears into. The way he gets clocked and doesn't deny it at times. Any denials he makes can be read to be situations where he doesn't know what the other person will react like.

I think it's very possible he isn't repressed at all! He just uses the closet as a shield or he doesn't share that information with people unless he wants to/trusts them/feels it's relevant to them.

PS DM me if you want to chat more and also I may have a discord of interest.

#the winchesters #spnwin #supernatural #john winchester #dean winchester #john winchester & dean winchester #daddy issues #cw homophobia #cw mention of HIV/AIDS

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kimingyuslover · 23 hours

Text

Love you with all my heart.

Synopsis : Loveless marriage can be so easy yet so difficult. Which one is yours?

Word count : 3,228

pairing : Kwon Soonyoung x fem!reader

genre : contract marriage, arranged marriage!au, one-sided enemy, strangers to one-sided enemy to exes to lovers!au (it's so much), angst, fluff, slight suggestive at the end.

warnings : tears, italic means flashback, chaebol!soonyoung, chaebol!reader, ceo!soonyoung, neurosurgeon!reader, slight mingyu & wonwoo x reader (seperated), some curse word (i guess..), Soonyoung being a jerk, mention of alcohol consumption, this fic does not represent his character in real life!

a.n : ngl, i'm in tears while writing this, i wanna punch Soonyoung in the face. i recommend reading this fic with this playlist.

“What do you think of this dress? isn't it beautiful?” Soo-jung says while showing one of the wedding dresses in her collection.

Soo-jung has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. You first met at your kindergarten and started talking from then with both of your parents also being friends.

You and her have different passions when you enter high school. She's been saying that when she grows up, she wants to be a designer, whereas you want to be a neurosurgeon.

“hello? y/n! Why are you always zoning out everytime we do this? Do you want to call off the marriage? is still early, i'll come along with you to your parents” concern is evident on her face, i mean, her best friend is in an arranged marriage, of course she will support her no matter what her decision.

To you, marriage is something so sacred and marriage can only be achieved by two people who love each other deeply, outwardly and inwardly.

you started to feel tears coming to both of your eyes, you look at Soo-jung with your now teary eyes, she immediately holds both of your shoulders.

you let out a few sobs before opening your mouth, “i don't think i can do this, we met earlier for brunch, he looks so mad Jung” you cried. you never be the one who complained when your parents decided something for you, but the words he threw at you at brunch made you realize that this marriage was a mistake to begin with.

Soo-jung nods at your words and brings you to her hug, she knows that your soon-to-be husband in contract is a jerk because she met him a few days prior in the gala that your family throws, and she also knew that every word that left his mouth will scratch your pure soul and heart.

Kwon Soonyoung is your fiancé, he's the son of one of the biggest real estate companies in South korea. you first met him while attending a gala for the CEOs of every big company.

Soonyoung is a quiet kid, everyone usually socializes with other nepo kids, but he's not, he's alone at the table with a glass of champagne in his hand.

You never really talk to him. only seeing him while you're with your parents, and you were not expecting that he's the one you're going to marry.

Soo-jung decided that today has been a bad day for you and you will discuss this again tomorrow.

“listen here, i do not want this marriage, i have tried to call off the wedding but my parents won't let me,” Soonyoung says after he sipped the coffee that he had ordered, he opens his mouth again, “so don't expect me to love you, give you attention when we're alone and with our family, we have to act when we’re on a party or gala, other than that don't try to get along with me”

Soonyoung throws a few hundred dollar bills to your table while you're lowering your head, this marriage is not on your bingo card this year, you feel humiliated with the eyes on the restaurant goes to you.

You know you should tell this to your parents, but their hopes are sending you into a debate inside your head. They really want this marriage to happen, so both companies can merge into one powerful duo.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

It's now your wedding day, a lot has happened before this wedding is settled, like when soonyoung always scoffs whenever you get near him because your parents and his want it.

You have discussed your marriage with Soo-jung, and you have decided that if he is a jerk to you, then he's gonna receive the same treatment.

The music starts to play, the door in front of you starts to open slowly, with your father by your side, and Soo-jung behind you to help you with the veil.

You can already see your mother and your in-laws waiting for you, the photographer and videographer waiting on the side of the aisle to catch one of the supposedly precious moments of your entire life.

and there's Soonyoung, with his stoic expression waiting for you to be with him on the aisle, sharing your vows for the loveless marriage you'll have.

After your father leaves you, Soonyoung starts to say his vows, he said it with such expression, a tear from your left eye begins to fall, it's not a happy one, but a sad one.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

“Uhh, doctor y/n? Maybe you need to check the trash bin in front of the operating room, because I think you lost your marriage ring” one of the nurse— Yoon Jeonghan, says to you.

you began to panic, searching everywhere of your body in hope to find your ring. your eyes widening after you realize that you can't find it, you start to run across the hall, going straight to the operating room.

and lucky for you, you immediately found it. It's in the pocket of your operating gown. when you start to check your ring for any blood splatter on it, you remind yourself, the day when you bought this ring with Soonyoung.

“What do you think of this one? Do you like it?” You asked Soonyoung, except he doesn't even turn his head to you or the ring. He focuses on his phone.

Your tiny smile dropped. You think that maybe, just maybe, he can try to at least pick the ring with you. Well, god knows you're wrong.

in the end of the day, you have to video call Soo-jung to help you pick the right ring, because all Soonyoung said is, “i don't care, just pick one, i'll leave now, have a meeting”

which led to the employee giving you a sympathetic gaze and smile, and you reciprocated it by smiling sadly.

you feel your nostalgic time being cut when one of the neurosurgeons— doctor Jeon Wonwoo, starts to call your name.

and from then, you start to catch up a little bit more and more.

you got promoted as the professor a few months later, but you still feel empty. You've dreamed of this every single day of your life.

the hospital you're working at now, throwing a company dinner to congratulate you by eating in a korean bbq restaurant because apparently the CEO wants to make you try the restaurant for the first time.

the home you can't ever call it by its name welcoming you with cool air, Doctor Jeon kindly giving you a ride home.

you take off your shoes and start to walk to your bedroom, you pass Soonyoung's room in the process, and you freeze when you hear his sleepy mumbles.

he's calling someone, that you're sure, a name that belongs to a girl, and that's when you feel it, the aches of being rejected again, by Kwon Soonyoung himself.

you closed the door behind you, “i never be the one who makes you do things like that, am i? Am I that bad in your eyes?” You said to yourself, holding your tears back.

You tried, you really really tried to ignore the feelings you had (have) for the man in the different bedroom.

You think you can do it, but ignoring your long-time feelings seems to be more difficult than you think.

Yes, you admitted. Kwon Soonyoung and you have been into the same school, you realize that after the first meeting with him at the gala, and you got assigned together for a project, and that's when you started to develop feelings for him.

“Why can't I just forget him? Why do I have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and let him break it all over again?” You let out a sobs full of tears, you sat before the bed, and that's when you made up your mind.

you're going to divorce him.

sooner or later, this marriage will consume you fully and make you depressed. The marriage is on their downfall.

So you packed your things in your designer suitcase, and started to call Soo-jung.

“hi, sorry for bothering you late at night. Can I come over to your house? And sleep for a few days there? i just made up my mind and i don't think i can be here anymore” hearing your sobs, Soo-jung accepted your request almost immediately, she knew what decision you have made because you've talked to her a few days before.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

Soonyoung is quite confused when he doesn't see you in the morning, because usually you're always making breakfast before going to work.

and that's happening for the next 2 weeks. he grows relentlessly, wants to know what's wrong that makes you go away from home for 2 weeks straight.

Not so long after he got lost in his thoughts, the house bell is ringing, and Soonyoung is thinking it may be you.

Oh boy, so wrong he was. It's your lawyer, standing so highly in front of him with his briefcase. Soonyoung frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, not expecting this visit.

they settle down on the sofa, and your lawyer start to take the divorce paper from his briefcase, “your wife told me she wants to have a divorce with you, this is the paper, you can sign it here” he says calmly, Soonyoung look at the man with puzzled expression evident on his face.

“My client asked me to do this for her. She can’t imagine if she has face to face with you” he continues, and gives his pen to Soonyoung.

There is it, the aches Soonyoung has long forgotten is now coming back, he already started to develop a feeling for you, again.

Yes, he's not wrong, again. Soonyoung met you at high school and started to develop feelings for you when you're in college.

back in college, you've been popular among college students since your sophomore year. Having a student as smart as you was a blessing to the campus.

Soonyoung met you again at a café, he wants to call your name, but someone beats it.

He turned his head to the person. That's when he saw the person he hated the most since 6th grade, Kim Mingyu.

He gets heartbroken when he sees Mingyu smiling at you and kissing your lips when he's already in front of you.

That day should be a good day for him because he wants to start a relationship with you, and maybe that will lead him to have more relationships than friends.

Since then, that feeling started to turn upside down, he's no longer admiring you, he's in denial for years, and always said to himself that he hates you, until the end of his time.

When he heard that you're going to be the one he marries, he's a little excited until he remembers your memories.

He wants to hold you close in his arms when you're crying. He wants to say sorry again and again and again for the hurtful words and actions he threw at you.

It hurts to see you act so cold with him when the marriage starts, and maybe, this was really the end of it all.

Your relationship will never work.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

Today is the final court of your divorce, Soonyoung is in awe when he sees you in your outfit.

White button up with blue stripe adorning your body, white trousers, brown leather belts, and a white lady dior completing your overall outfit.

The sound of your heels touching the ground can be heard by everyone in the hall. you're great at hiding your nervousness.

You can see Soonyoung with his stoic expression as always, waiting for the courtroom door to be open.

And it's finally over. Your marriage is over. All these years, you've been hiding your feelings for him, wanting him to finally love you, is over.

you're not even sure if this marriage has ever started.

Soo-jung rushed towards you when she parked her car, calling your name with her concerned expression.

“y/n! Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you wanna go somewhere?” she said while approaching you.

Soonyoung saw you and your best friend in the distance, regret started to fill up his body, as tears began to huddle in his eyes.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

“so, I heard that you're a single doctor now. How's it feeling?” the interviewer asked you, made you hitch your breath.

but you perfectly hid it with a small smile, “our marriage was not that simple, we're in an arranged marriage, i feel a little excited when i saw who's i'm going to marry, because i have develop feelings for him before this even started, he’s one of my patient that i operate 5 years ago, and he's on the same high school as me.

My feelings are not reciprocated, and i think he might've hated me from years prior, that time, i'm sure that i can make him, at least bear with me, but i was wrong, everything i do is wrong to him,” tears started to gather in your eyes, even if you want to forget your bad relationship, you can't.

“So I made up my mind, when the marriage starts, I act ignorant to him in the hope that maybe he will talk to me about something or anything, he's not. Everyday feels heavy, and after a few months, I gave up, i can’t handle it anymore, so I filed a divorce paper via my lawyer to him”

After you say that, the host starts trying to calm you down, feeling guilty, but you just tell her that it’s okay, and she doesn't have to say sorry.

Soonyoung watches from his office, watching your tv shows are the only medicine that can heal his guilt and longing for you.

“Mr. Kwon? Would you like to cancel your meeting?” His assistants said with hesitance. The meeting should have started 10 minutes from now, but his boss seems to be deep in his thoughts.

after a few seconds, Soonyoung replied to him, “cancel and reschedule all my meetings for next week, i need to go somewhere”

he hurriedly grabs his coat and runs to the elevator. When he's inside, he lets out a big sigh.

Soonyoung went to his driver and asked for the key of his car. His driver wanted to refuse his request, but Soonyoung just gave him his infamous sharp gaze.

“pick up pick up pick up” he said when he's already in the driver's seat and started to call your best friend, Soo-jung.

“hello?” the person on the other side says.

Soonyoung's heart is pounding loudly, “hi, Soo-jung, this is Soonyoung” he can already see that Soo-jung wants to hang up on him, so he acts fast.

“Wait, don't hang up yet, i regret everything i've done to y/n, and i need you to tell me where she is” he says, sounding so desperate.

Soo-jung gave up. She wants you to have a happy ending, but Soonyoung sounds like he will end his life if not given your location.

“She's on her penthouse, Roosevelt penthouse, 90th floor, tell the receptionist that you're a guy whose y/n family sent,” Soo-jung said before she continues, “don't make me fucking regret this, Kwon Soonyoung”

“I won't”

Soonyoung drives at full speed. This is an urgent emergency for him.

He's finally in front of your door, but he's too scared to hit the bell on your door. He won't give up like he always does, so he pushes the button, and not long after, the intercom starts to let out your beautiful voice.

“Wait a second!”

He can imagine you rushing to open your door, and that is happening right now.

“Hi– Soonyoung?” You flabbergasted by his presence, ready to close your door.

“Wait! don't close it, i want to talk something with you” he says, with pleading eyes.

So you let him go inside of your Penthouse, and guide him to your living room.

“Talk” you said while looking straight at him.

“I want to say sorry for all of my actions and words I threw on you back then, I don't know what I'm doing. i loathed you since i saw you have a relationship with Mingyu. My heart gets broken every time i remember it.

I've hated mingyu's guts since 6th grade, I shouldn't have hated you too. You don't deserve it. I've liked you since the sophomore year of our college. i tried to ignore that feelings, even when our parents said that we're going to be married, I feel excited at that time, but when I remembered your relationship with Mingyu I tried not to give you any attention so my feelings can be ignored, but it's hard, it's hard when you look beautiful every single day, going to work, cooking breakfast.

I came here after I saw your tv show, and I realized that I'm not hurting you with only my actions, but my words too. i love you, y/n” he says, tears start to pool in his eyes, and they start to fall from his right eye.

“but the name you're calling on your sleep, it's—

he cuts you off, “I'm calling you, y/n. i used to call you with your last name, Han y/n, maybe you don't realize it” he says.

“So please, forgive me, I would do anything you want me to do, just so you can give me a second chance and be with me forever, once again” with a sobs, he starts to kneel in front of you.

You get up from your couch to grab his shoulders and hurry him to get up.

When he does, you crash your lips with him, which he reapprociate your kiss.

“I love you, y/n” he says between the kisses that start to get hotter by any second.

“I love you too, Soonyoung”

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

“How's your relationship with Soonyoung?” Soo-jung asks while sipping her wine. It's been a few weeks since the ‘Soonyoung kneeling before you’ tragedy.

“It's been great. He's really putting efforts to fix our broken relationship” you said with a wide grin, remembering all your memories together for the past week.

Soonyoung has taken a break from his office life to fully focus on you. He even brought you to every place special to him, including his grandfather's grave.

“Glad to hear that, he calls me and sounds so desperate while asking me where's your location that time” you laugh it off with her, and your conversation gets longer than you intended.

At the end of the night, you're drunk, so Soo-jung has to call Soonyoung to pick you up, using your phone, which Soonyoung answers almost immediately.

“Kwon Soonyoung, i love you” you mumbles drunkenly when Soonyoung finally puts you on the passenger seat.

“I love you too, sweetheart” Soonyoung replied with a kiss on your forehead, he gives you a bottle of water to sober up a little.

When you both reach your shared home, you spend no time kissing Soonyoung's lips full of passion and lust as soon as he gets the door closed.

And that leads to other intimate activities to help you feel good and up all night.

#seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen #seventeen angst #kwon soonyoung #kwon soonyoung x reader #soonyoung x reader #hoshi #hoshi x reader #hoshi angst #kml.writes☆#seventeen au

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