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buckyalpine · 9 months

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Cheating!Steve x reader, Bucky x reader

Oh look, more cheating Steve with sweetheart Bucky to save us

A/N: Last year someone asked me for some mad angsty fic and I posted and deleted it so quick because it was god awful. Just awful. However, I had kept a draft of it cause even though I hated it and everything about it, I didn't want it gone forever. Upon rereading it recently...I kinda like it. So I decided to change some stuff (like most of the entire plot), switch around characters (I'm a Bucky girl) and repost. If you want to see the OG fic, I can post it again or just edit this to add it under the new version

Steve couldn't stand seeing you like this. In the hospital room, the needles prodding you, it all reminds him of hydra and the things he had seen on numerous missions. When you almost die, he's thrown back into the spiral where he has no hope for a future. And nothing changes after you get better. You had almost died once. Missions were getting riskier and you weren't always in the clear. In his mind, everything good in his life leaves him or gets ripped away eventually. Peggy was a prime example of that. It's just a matter of time.

Even in your injured state, your attention was all on Steve. You knew how much he hated seeing you hurt. It sent him into a dark place few people had witnessed. As soon as your eyes fluttered open, your tired eyes met his red rimmed, puffy ones. For days, every time you try to bring him back to you, he has his walls built up again.

He won't let himself love you more.

He drinks.

He drinks enough to get drunk. It takes bottle after bottles but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything any more. So much so, he decides to seek the warmth of someone else.

Because you almost left him.

You could die so easily.

You almost did.

Nothing matters any more. His moans of pleasure are empty but he's wrapped around her none the less. He doesn't stop until his body can't move, too exhausted to even think about guilt.

You have it all planned out. You were finally released from the hospital and the first thing you wanted to do was spend time with Steve. The team had left the compound so you could set up a movie night for you and the captain, you don't want to let him slip from your grasp, not after all you'd been through together. You didn't go through hell and back to lose him like this. You fought for your life to pull through.

There are snacks laid out on the table, a movie pulled up, some hot chocolate made just for you and him. You shuffle nervously, your heart beating erratically. You didn't spend 4 years with him just for this to end because you nearly died. No. He was worth the fight. His cold demeanor was not towards you but towards the fear of losing you. And that fear was from love. Love you both shared deeply for each other.

You knew he got back from the bar late; if he was too drunk then you'd help him to his room and talk to him in the morning. It was a new habit of his but you understood.

Except he never came. He always made it home. Not tonight.

Steve stumbled in the next morning, rubbing his eyes, seeing a small sleeping form on the sofa, snacks and some drinks laid out in the living room. He swallowed thickly when he sees you get up from the couch wearing one of his hold hoodies, making your way towards him.

"Steve?"

You have a soft smile on your face, but it drops when you get a closer look at him. Tears prickle at your eyes when you see the way his neck is littered in bruises, his skin still flushed. He can't look you in the eyes, not after what he'd just done.

"I-

You freeze before him, you don't want to ask. You don't want to know. The broken expression his face is enough for you. You wordlessly leave the living room, locking yourself in, giving FRIDAY instructions to make sure no one can enter.

"Did you talk to y/n" Bucky asks excitedly when he sees Steve sitting in the living room. He knows how excited you were about the movie night, spending days planning every last detail. His excitement drops when he sees the food untouched and you're nowhere to be seen. "Where is she?"

Steve remains silent, staring at his hands. The rest of the team enter the living room, hoping to find you both curled on the couch, but no. Nat's eyes narrow when she sees the hickeys on Steve's neck but something tells her they're not from you, you've never marked him like that before, you've always been so gentle with him.

"How could you?" She hissed, while the rest of the team look at her in confusion. It doesn't take long for them to piece things together. And it's a mess.

You come down to the living room, both Sam and Tony holding Bucky down on the couch while he glares at Steve, his hands still in fists. They all turn towards you with broken eyes, this is not what they ever wanted for you. The second he sees you, he breaks down. You're numb to his cries, his pleas.

He finds you leaving the compound at 1:00 AM from where he's still seated on the couch, something you'd never done before.

"Baby? Where are you going"

You ignore him, making your way to the garage. You were never able to sleep since and staying in bed only left you alone with your thoughts.

"I-I need some space. Don't worry about where I'm going"

"Y/n, please, just let me explain"

"No"

"I made a mistake, I-

"I don't care. I just want need some air"

"Promise me you'll come back?"

You shake your head, you can't even look at Steve. You scoff, shoving past him, not caring when he hisses in pain. His cheek is bruised, spots of dark purple and blue bloom around his eye and you'd seen Nat icing Bucky's hand earlier.

"Y/n, please angel, I-I just want to talk, just promise me you'll come back?"

"I promise" You reluctantly mumble, hopping on your motor bike and speeding off before Steve can call after you again.

You loved him so much.

You fought so hard to pull through for him, you heard every word he'd said to you when you were unconscious.

Tears clouded your vision.

It all happens too fast for you to comprehend.

The car doesn't see you.

The bend is sharp.

You bike is sent over the edge.

Darkness.

It's been a week.

You still haven't woken up.

It's all his fault. It doesn't matter that the driver was intoxicated. It didn't matter that it was dark out. You wouldn't have left the compound if he hadn't done what he did and it eats him alive.

He's not met with any sympathy.

No one bats an eye at his tears or sobs, too concerned about your well being to go and comfort him. Like clock work, every member of the team visits on rotation since they can't all be there at once. however Bucky is exempt from all hospital rules with one brooding, grumpy stare.

Bucky is by your side every single day. He doesn't say anything when Steve grips your hand, praying for you to wake up, silently praying himself while your heart monitor continues to beep. Steve refuses to move from your side but he's not given much of a choice when Fury summons him personally for someone mission related.

He's only gone for a few hours but that's when you finally stir. Bucky is on his feet instantly, paging for the doctor while stroking your hair.

"Hey pretty girl" Bucky whispers when your eyes finally focus, the knuckles of his metal hand gently caressing your cheek. The cool sensation helps you feel more alert. You smile seeing his baby blue eyes, feeling safe as he talks to you softly.

Everything hits Steve all at once. He didn't just betray you. He betrayed the team. His bestfriend. Himself. All the people who had faith in him to make the right choice, to do the right thing, to protect them. And he threw it away. Everyone waited a month for you to fully recover before throwing a welcome back party so you'd actually be able to enjoy it. Steve looked back longingly at the happy group gathered together in the living room, more emotions hitting him again.

He was happy you were alive. His sweet, sweet girl pulled through. H

He was envious of the love everyone was sharing, one he wasn't privy to anymore. He was invited, he was still apart of the team after all but he knew it wasn't his place.

He was jealous.

Jealous of the way you melted into Bucky's side. Longing to feel that warmth that he used to feel himself. Bucky had his arm around your waist, keeping you tucked right by him, taking care of you long after you were discharged. He wasn't going to stop any time soon.

There was something between you two, everyone could sense it. The soft gazes at each other and innocent kisses. Bucky wouldn't let a day go by without pressing his lips to your cheek, your nose, your forehead, the top of your head. He needed you to know you were loved and cared for. He stuck to his guns, claiming his actions were purely platonic but the pink blush on his cheeks proved that he was a bald faced liar.

Steve knows theres no one to blame but himself. He sighs and swallows the lump in his throat as you stand on your tiptoes to kiss the brunette, sealing you both together forever. He's always thought it would be the two of you standing together at the alter but how things had changed. The cheers of the crowd are a dull buzz to him. He watches Bucky swoop in for another kiss, this time dipping you and capturing your lips sweetly.

"I love you Mrs. Barnes"

"I love you more, Mr. Barnes"

Your happy, love struck giggles cause the first tear to fall.

He does his best to smile when you both walk by, flashes of what your wedding would have looked like. The white dress. The veil. The flowers.

if only he never-

But it was too late.

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 9 months

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After The End

Pairing: Bucky x Reader/former Steve x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: idk... there's lots of arguing and resentment

Genre: mostly angst some fluff here and there

Summary: It took you ages to put yourself back together when Steve chose to stay in the 40s, what happens when he comes back two years after

***

Life after Thanos was hard. Watching some of your closest friends disappear was not something you would ever be able to forget. Especially with those of you that were left scattered around trying to patch up what could be saved. Those five years were hard, but harder still was having almost everyone you loved return only to lose others. If you had known that beating Thanos would mean losing your boyfriend you might not have tried so hard. It's selfish to think that way, you know it is but you had a whole life planned with Steve, and being heroes you knew there was a chance you wouldn't get to see it through but losing him like this was- almost too much to bare. All he had to do was return the stupid stones to where you'd gotten them from to save the universe. It was supposed to be simple and there was something soul shattering about him choosing not to return to the team, to you. He took the stones back and then he stayed. Chose a life with Peggy that was never his rather than the life with you that he already had. It was agony, for months you were heartbroken. But you got through it. You mourned that life you envisioned, you mourned him, and while you'll probably always love him, you refused to let his choice destroy you. And you considered yourself lucky because Bucky was there for you through it all. On nights that were really bad, Bucky would stay with you even if you were up all night.

You aren't entirely sure when it happened, even now, looking back on it you can't pinpoint the moment late night conversations and afternoons completing chores became... more than that. You guess in spending so much time together you started to see Bucky in a different light. You'd always cared for him but what happened with Steve seems to have created a level of closeness you didn't expect. That first night that you kissed him was unexpected even to you. You'd been talking about nothing of consequence, he was lying on the floor of your room while you were in your bed, both of you staring at your ceiling for the most part. There was a lull in the conversation so you said the thing that had only clicked for you the week before at that point.

"I can't believe I let myself feel inadequate for so long." You sighed. You'd convinced yourself, for weeks, that Steve leaving was because you weren't enough, and only now were you coming to your senses about it.

"I'm sorry." Bucky had whispered it so quietly you almost thought he wasn't talking to you.

"You're sorry? For what? You didn't make him leave." You scoffed at him.

"For letting you feel less than perfect."

"Come on Buck, that's not on you." You'd rotated onto your stomach with a chuckle at his words. He'd cracked one eye open to look at you when he realized you were staring at him. Before you let yourself think about it too hard, you had leaned over the edge of your bed and kissed Bucky. It was quick and a bit awkward because of the angle but you made sure not to shy away from his surprised stare after.

"Did you just-" Bucky didn't even finish the question.

"Yeah. I guess I did." You'd smiled slowly watching a slight pink warm Bucky's cheeks.

You wish you could simply say 'and the rest is history' but that makes it seem like things were way easier than they were. It wasn't a smooth transition by any means. That night neither of you spoke for far too long, and when you could muster up something to say it wasn't to address the rapidly growing elephant in the room- it was to dispell the tension. You and Bucky spent two weeks dancing around the subject before he finally asked you if you were even ready for another relationship after Steve. That's when it clicked, why he'd been avoiding it in the first place, he was considering the possibility you were rebounding. Understandable concern but nope. It had been months, almost a year actually, since Steven had left. You knew you were in a place to begin again and you wanted to do it with Bucky.

Now the rest is history. You've been together ever since. About a year and a half at this point and you can't remember the last time you were this happy. The two of you meshed so well you can't believe there was a time you thought your future was with another man. You smile to yourself as you think about it while working on a painting. There's a knock at the front door that you almost don't hear.

"Y/n can you get the door? I'm in the bathroom!" Bucky shouts.

"Oh shit, of course!" You put down your brush and head to the door. You can't describe the shock that gripped you when you open the door.

"Steven." You blink at him.

"Hey. Nat- told me you'd moved. Luckily she uh, had your new address so-" He trails off with a shrug.

"Look not to- sound rude or anything, like I'm glad to see you, I think but, what are you doing here?" You ask.

"I thought- I thought I knew what I wanted but I got it wrong. I got it so wrong. My life- my happiness, it's here. With you." Steve steps towards you and you instinctively step back, placing a hand up gently to indicate your boundary.

"Hang on a second Steve. Just because your plan didn't work out doesn't mean you can just waltz back into my life like nothing's changed."

"Y/n! Who's at the door?" Bucky's voice calls from inside.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." You call back.

"I- didn't realize you'd have company." Steve mutters.

"Oh I don't. That's-" Before you can explain, Bucky's asking something, now walking over to join you at the front door.

"So who's this unbelievable surprise guest of-" Bucky's hands drop from where they were just about to settle on your waist when he finally glances out your door. "Steve." He says stepping back.

"Told you, you wouldn't believe me." You toss over your shoulder.

"Hey pal. Long time no see." Steve says. You can't tell if he's totally put it together yet but the strain in his voice tells you he at least knows something's changed between you and his best friend.

"I'll say. What happened to growing old with Carter?" Bucky asks, stepping around you to half hug Steve and offer a shoulder pat.

"I realized that- wasn't the life I wanted. I mean it was once upon a time but, not anymore. Things have changed." Steve shrugs.

"I see." Bucky nods.

"Well, Steve you're welcome to stay here with us while you- get back on your feet in the 21st century! Right Buck? Or I can send you over to Sam, he's back in Louisiana with family right now but I'm sure he'd love to see you too." You say.

"Oh, yeah, we can set him up in the extra room although- your art stuff is in there, did you want me to move it into my office or should I put it in your room?" Bucky hums.

"Do you have space in your office? Cuz I definitely can set it up in my room-"

"There's tons of space in my office." Bucky shrugs before you can finish. Steve clears his throat and you turn your attention back to him.

"Sorry to interrupt your- logistical discussion about all this, I j- I didn't realize you two were living together." Steve says.

"It's been two years. Like you said, things have changed." You say.

"You haven't told him?" Bucky looks at you.

"Well in my defense I was about to when you walked over here and the conversation kinda pivoted." You say.

"Okay well, do you want to do it or should I?" Bucky asks.

"I mean I don't want to but- it should be me, yeah." You mutter.

"Okay, can we stop doing this sidebar thing you guys are doing? Tell me- what exactly?" Steve asks. Bucky's hand settles comfortingly against your back, it's out of Steve's line of sight and you appreciate it greatly.

"Bucky- Bucky's my partner." You say.

"In the- you go on missions together sense or the 'my girlfriend is dating my best friend' sense?" Steve asks.

"It's been two years Steve-"

"So you replace me with my closest friend?"

"No. I moved on and yeah it was with Bucky but that was by chance it wasn't about you at all. Don't make it personal."

"You just happen to move on with my best bud? It feels pretty personal." He scoffs.

"Okay! Let's settle down. Steve, if you're gonna take our offer to stay I will show you to your room. Nat has some of your things at her place, the rest of it is in a storage unit. I'll take you down after." Bucky interrupts the would-be argument by changing the subject. You step out of the doorway to let Steve walk in as Bucky tugs him along.

"Why are my things at Nat's?" Steve asks.

"Well some of the more valuable things y/n held onto for a while but when she didn't want to keep them around here anymore we gave them to Nat to look after until we came up with a better plan since we didn't wanna leave them in a storage unit we'd barely go to." Bucky explains as the pair walk further into the house. You can't hear Steve's reply as you walk into the kitchen to regroup. Letting him stay here is going to make shit so weird. You sigh to yourself, with any luck he'll get on his feet pretty quickly and this will only last a couple of months. You can do a couple of months.

The first few weeks are, tense. You're not sure if Bucky is as aware of it as you are but your house is awkward and quiet most hours since Steve showed up. It's like most of your routines have been disrupted and you're not sure which ones are best left for after he's gone. Right now you're on your balcony with a cup of tea. When you glance over the ledge, you see Steve trudging into view. You watch curiously to figure out what he's doing, not even realizing Bucky's snuck up behind you until his arms settle around your waist.

"Penny for your thoughts my darling?" Bucky asks.

"Things are weird. Maybe I shouldn't have offered to let him stay here." You frown.

"Don't be silly. You wouldn't be you if you hadn't offered." Bucky chuckles.

"Sure but- now I'm worried I've put us- put you in an uncomfortable situation." Bucky spins you around to face him. His hand comes up to the side of your face, fingers grazing your cheek softly.

"I'm fine. Are you uncomfortable with him being here? Because I can suggest he spend some time checking in with the others if you'd-"

"No, I don't want to kick him out. I just- I don't want you to lose him because of me." You say taking his hand in yours kiss his knuckles.

"If 70 years and Russian brainwashing couldn't destroy our friendship I think we can make it past this." Bucky winks at you. You glance over the balcony again in time to see Steve toss some wood at a growing pile.

"What is he doing? Why is he piling wood?" Your eyebrows scrunch up.

"You can just ask him you know." Bucky muses.

"It's not harming anyone. I don't need to know." You shake your head.

"You wanna ask don't you?"

"It's just strange." You say fighting a smile.

"Just ask." Bucky laughs leaving you to your tea on the balcony. A moment later you let your curiosity get the better of you and lean against the metal railing of the balcony.

"Steve hon, what on earth are you doing?" You ask him.

"A tree fell, so- I'm breaking it down into firewood."

"Stevie it's August, we're not using the fireplace." You shake your head with a laugh.

"Better safe than sorry." He shrugs.

"You must be incredibly bored." You muse.

"No, I just like to be prepared." He says. "Alright, I'm a little bored." He adds with a sigh after a moment.

"Well if you need something to do- I was catching up with Nat the other day, she said a couple of the tenants in her building moved out for whatever reason, you should talk to her about applying." You tell him.

"I'll give her a call." He squints up at you.

"Good." You nod heading back into the apartment. That's honestly the longest conversation you've had since the day he moved in. Usually, you spend all day avoiding him- or he spends all day avoiding you- you're not sure but you don't speak really, except you make a point to ask him about dinner, if he has plans, or if he'd like to join you and Bucky. You're a good host, but you don't talk to each other much. Not that you expect any different, you were together for six years and he up and left but he's back now- and things are not what he thought they'd be. What else could be said honestly?

You actually don't mind the silence between you two, because the day Steve decides to break that pattern brings forth the worst conversation. The type you've been dreading since the moment he appeared at your door. You're cleaning around the apartment and Steve offered to help, first you worked in silence, just the music from your speaker filling the air until a particular song came on. One you played for Steve once that he immediately fell in love with. It became your song. You only recently stopped associating the song with him but you forgot it was in this playlist otherwise you would've picked another one.

"You still listen to this song?" Steve asks. You keep your back turned to him as you wipe down the coffee table.

"Of course I do. I knew the song before- it was, ours." You say.

"This is the first time I've heard it in a while." He muses.

"Duh the song didn't exist until the 2010s." You scoff.

"Yeah I guess that's- that's true. It's strange though, that awareness of what's to come."

"Yeah that's why most of sci fi warns you not to go time jumping."

"You clean with different products now." Steve points out. You're not sure what he's trying to do here but you are in no mood to dance around awkwardness with him.

"Scented products are easier for Bucky. He says plain bleach smells too sterile." You mutter. It's Bucky that buys most of the cleaning products anyway, but he always buys citrus stuff.

"It's not easy, you know, seeing my best friend with the love of my life every day." Steve says after a stretch of silence. At this, you turn to face him, trying to stifle that frustration bubbling inside you.

"You left me. Left us. Not the other way around Steve. You don't get to complain about us having picked up the pieces." You tell him.

"I still love you, that's not something I can just pretend isn't there." He says.

"And I love Bucky." You shrug.

"Not me?"

"It doesn't matter." You shake your head.

"It does."

"If it mattered to you at all you would've never left." You grit out.

"So say it." He says quietly.

"What?"

"Tell me you don't love me."

"Steve-"

"Say it. If what we had is truly all in the past for you tell me you don't love me. That there's no place in your heart for me and- I'll move on."

"This isn't fair." You shake your head.

"No?"

"No! You got the life with Peggy that you thought you wanted. You abandoned me. Now you're asking me to choose you when you didn't choose me. How can you expect me to do that?"

"I'm choosing you now!"

"And I've chosen Bucky. I wanted the world with you. All you had to do was come back to me. And you didn't. It's too late now Steve. You needed to choose me two years ago."

"You still haven't said-"

"I don't love you. That's what you want to hear? You lost me the day you chose not to come back. I shouldn't have to spell it out for you. I chose Bucky, yes. But you-" Deep breath. "If you can't handle me and Bucky together in our home then- maybe you should go stay with Sam or Natasha." You say. You're not going to argue with him.

"Are you kicking me out?"

"I'm offering you an alternative- because, I will not be choosing you. Not now, not ever again, you had your chance and if you can't come to terms with that, if it's too difficult to be around reminders that you fucked up and I kept living life without you then by all means don't destroy your mental health staying here. You have other friends."

"How can you expect me to just- pretend what we had means nothing? How can you pretend it means nothing?"

"I'm not asking you to pretend shit. I also am not pretending it means nothing I'm just aware of the reality that it's over and that's something you need to come to terms with because you left and Bucky made me feel alive again when your leaving nearly killed me. It's been two years, did you think I would simply be waiting indefinitely for you to decide I was worth something to you again?"

"Wait a second you have always been worth something to me. You've always been worth everything." Steve frowns.

"You don't get to say that! You don't abandon people that are 'worth everything' to you. You chose someone else and that's a choice you have to live with." You say, your finger practically in his face. The sound of the apartment door opening disrupts your anger enough that you step back.

"Hey guys- did I miss something?" Bucky frowns looking between you two even though you've already stopped back over to the coffee table. Bucky's quick to come to your side, scanning your face for any clues as to what's going on, although he heard the last bit of what you said as he was coming down the hall. "Baby?" He coaxes gently, his fingers stroking against your side.

"I'm gonna go to Sam's for a little while." Steve grits out.

"Feel free to stay there." You clip before you can stop yourself. Steve's footfalls pause for a moment at your words but he doesn't respond before eventually he trudges out the front door.

"Feel free to stay there?! What... happened while I was out?" Bucky asks with a disbelieving chuckle.

"He has... a lot of nerve." You force out through clenched teeth.

"You're gonna have to give me more details than that so I can understand what's wrong doll."

"He just told me how hard it is to watch his best friend with the 'love of his life' every day. The love of his life that he left to be with a woman that lived and died without him. He asked me to choose him. Because after two years I'm supposed to still love the man that left me. Because it's not enough that he almost destroyed me the last time. Because for some reason he thinks I'd rather be picked two years too late."

"He's hurting."

"Yeah well, so was I. Two years ago. He'll live. I did." You shrug. Bucky pulls you into a hug, kissing the top of your head as he gently sways you both back and forth. You lived through hell that day you realized Steve chose a life with Peggy. You'd be damned if you ever let that happen again.

***

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers #bucky x reader #bucky #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fanfiction

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luna-rainbow · 5 months

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I know a lot of fans are upset about What If and its continual attempts at making Steggy a thing.

But I don't see it as Disney has won? I came into this fandom in 2021, long after Endgame stopped any chance of further canon Steve and Bucky interactions, and I know of fans who came into the fandom long after that.

Because the magic is still there. Because CATWS was a genuinely well-written story and a well-presented movie. The plot, the themes, the characters, the action, the music -- all of it culminating in a climax where the main character reverses 70 years of manipulation and torture with a simple phrase, and in doing so, saves both him and the person he says it to.

Whether you choose to see them as romantic or platonic or anything else, that unbreakable bond is there.

What If and Rogers Musical are cheap knockoffs trying to capitalise on the same magic without understanding what created the magic in the first place. It's the sacrifice and the loyalty, the shared loss and shared experience, the same wanderlust and same homesickness. It is the thematic relevance and the narrative significance. It is the fact that Bucky was tied to Steve's identity as much as Steve is tied to Bucky's, that every key beat in Steve's journey to becoming Captain America and upholding his values involved Bucky.

The real tragedy about the Steve-Peggy story - as a Peggy fan had pointed out actually - is that even in What If, her story remains subservient to Steve. Not What If Steve, but canon Steve. Unlike other stories in What If, where a simple change leads to a butterly effect of an unrecognisable future, the direct effect of copying Steve-Bucky's interactions beat for beat is that "Peggy" becomes the least consequential factor in the story. "She is just as good as Steve", the writers want to say, "she brought forward feminism by 2 decades". But the reality is…she continues to be a non-character and a non-factor, because even in a timeline as significant as a woman becoming the first super soldier, the universe barely changes. It simply fills in the holes with other characters and continue on the same inevitable path.

Bad stories are forgettable, good stories last forever. Remember when we had that hilarious poll against OFMD and a bunch of people came out of the woodworks to vote for Stucky even though they had long left the fandom? Because a good story has magic, and it's left an indelible print on many people's lives.

Disney had already lost the day Steve uttered, "I'm with you to the end of the line, pal." The characters belong to us now.

#stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #anti peggy carter

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imtryingbuck · 7 months

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Happy Ending?

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader, Future Bucky x fem!Reader

Summary: Reader dates Steve but he’s not a good boyfriend

Word count: 967

Warnings: Angst. Steve not being a good boyfriend, low self-esteem, no smut but smut? Idk I’m sorry. Self-body hating – plus size reader.

A/n: pt 2&3 will be on Bucky’s masterlist

Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

You see the love of your life kissing Natasha. Then in the car she jokes about it being his first kiss in 70 years, he doesn’t correct her of course he doesn’t otherwise he’ll have to tell her he’s dating you. For the past 6 months. He tells you that it meant nothing and that they had to do it so they didn’t blow their cover. He takes you to bed has you on all fours and as he’s nearing his release, he says Natasha. You cry and he doesn’t notice.

You’re sitting in the backseat of the car next to Bucky Barnes, having to see the love of your life kissing the next best thing he’s going to get to Peggy Carter, her niece Sharon. You can’t say anything though as nobody knows you two are dating, still. He tells you it’s for your own safety but you know it’s not for that reason. You know he’s embarrassed of you, you’re not skinny. You’re fat. Overweight. Plus-size. However you want to put it you’re not skinny. You’re not perfect like Natasha or Sharon or any other woman he could have. He tells you he loves you in a whisper. He kisses you behind closed doors. Hell he doesn’t even touch you in-front of anyone. Yet you stay with him because you love him.

Later that night he tells you he loves you and only you. You believe it. Your face gets pushed into the pillow, arse in the air and like last time as he’s about to get his release it’s not your name nor Natasha’s that slips past his pretty lips it’s Sharon’s. You cry, again.

You stay silent about the pain he keeps causing you because you are so afraid of being alone, so desperate to be loved by him or anybody for that matter. All you want is real love but you’re too scared to leave. The worst part is even Steve knows this. He knows how much you love him, and he knows himself that he could never love you, not really love you.

A few months goes by, and everything has calmed down so you decide to take him to meet your parents for the first time. He’s so nervous it’s actually cute. He meets your parents, brother and sister. Dinner goes by smoothly, Steve talks to your dad and brother about everything and anything whilst you’re in the kitchen talking to your mum and sister about how much of an amazing guy he is, how much you love him and how happy you are. Your mum tells you you’re absolutely glowing. The night comes to an end you’re sitting in the passenger seat eyes going from him to the stars in the sky, your happy for the first time in months. You both get home, and he tells you how incredible you are, says he wants to make love to you so you let him. Before you know it he flips you onto your hands and knees face being shoved into the fluffy pillows, your brains working overtime wondering which name is going to make its way out of his mouth. Your whole body is hurting because of how rough he’s being with you, your head hurts and your poor stupid heart is breaking all over again as he empties all his worth inside of you while the name he’s keep chanting like a prayer is that of your sister.

How you manage to do it is lost on you, but you push him off of you with what little strength you have left and make a beeline straight to the bathroom locking the door as quickly as you can, you stumble to the toilet in time to empty the contents out of your stomach. In the mist of being sick and crying you hear Steve pounding on the door pleading with you to let him in asking if he’s hurt you. Asking ‘what did I do wrong’ which is ironic as that’s the same question you’ve repeatedly asked yourself. You hug the toilet trying to get some kind of warmth from it.

But it doesn’t happen.

You fall asleep naked, face covered in tears on the cold bathroom floor. Steve falls asleep on the bedroom floor against the door.

The next morning you wake up sore with Steve knocking on the door telling you he has to leave on an important mission that he loves you and when he gets back you both can talk about why you ran off hiding in the bathroom. You remain stuck to the floor long after he’s left.

You know you can’t keep doing this, going through the pain, blaming yourself for not being good enough for him. ‘You need to stop being scared of being alone’ you told yourself and finally after nearly a year of crying yourself to sleep every night you pick yourself off the tiled flooring and with timid steps you head into the bedroom. As you pack all your stuff into suitcases and bags you thought you’d be crying whilst doing this but no tears have made an appearance, you’re completely numb and done with everything. Walking around the apartment taking your things as you go you head to the front door and like a naive silly girl you’re arguing with yourself to put your stuff back and just wait for the love of your life to come home. ‘He loves you idiot’ even though you know it not to be true and with that and your broken heart you take a look around visibly seeing the good times that took place within those four walls, you walk out of the door and into the cold December morning.

You thought he was going to be your happy ending.

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

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literaryavenger · 4 months

Text

Back To You - Steve Rogers

Summary: You've always been there for Steve, and now you're watching him go back to the girl he always wanted.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Angst. Maybe language. Fluff. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 2.5K

A/N: This was supposed to be a Reader x Steve story, but I was too tempted to make reader end up with Bucky. So I decided to make two separate endings, the original with Steve and an alternate one where she ends with Bucky, if only for @ordelixx who gave me the idea. I'd also like to thank @mrsbuckybarnes1917 for the idea and for helping me write about other characters.

Masterlist

You know what’s about to happen. You know he’s gonna leave, you know he’s not gonna come back, you know you’ll never see him again.

You know he’s gonna try to have the life he always wanted with the girl he always wanted. The girl he loves.

And that girl is not you.

You watch him as he says goodbye to Bucky, you know he knows as well as you do that his best friend isn’t coming back.

Then Steve turns to you and you try your best to smile.

“I wish I had met you earlier.” he whispers as he kisses you on the forehead and you know in that instant this is really goodbye.

You smile and nod, not being able to get a word out, willing yourself not to cry.

He walks onto the platform and soon he’s gone.

You’ve been by Steve’s side ever since he came back from the ice. You were the agent assigned to watch over him, you were there when he woke up and had to run after him when he freaked out.

You were there during the battle of New York, during the fall of Shield in DC, during the whole Ultron incident and in Lagos.

You were on his side for the Accords, and you were by his side in London as he said goodbye to the love of his life.

You were there with him and Sam in Romania to try and help Bucky, you were arrested with them and then helped fight the Winter Soldier, yet again.

You were on his side to fight against Tony and the rest of the Avengers, you got arrested again and were broken out of the Raft by him.

You spent two years on the run with him, and fought next to him in Wakanda.

You watched his dumb ass try to fight Thanos barehanded and you were quickly knocked down when you tried to help him.

You snapped like half the universe and apparently lost 5 years of your life. You came back, thanks to him, and fought against Thanos one last time.

And now you're watching him leave.

You were there to help him get accustomed to the 21st century, you were there for him on sleepless nights.

You were there for him as he cried for his lost friends, his lost love and his lost life. He always came to you when he needed to talk, to be held, help sleeping and even advise.

And you were always there for him, falling in love little by little against your better judgement.

You’re brought back to the present as you hear Sam freaking out on Bruce because Steve missed his mark and didn’t come back.

You look at Bucky and you both know what this means. He gives you a sympathetic smile and you try to give a smile back but fail.

You look away from him and take a deep breath. You turn around and start walking away.

You’re done here, and about to break down. Something you never allowed yourself to do in front of anybody, with the exception of Steve.

And now he’s gone.

You get in your car and quickly drive away, not looking back. You drive straight to Steve’s apartment.

You’ve been staying there since you came back while the compound gets fixed since your old apartment has been someone else’s home for the past 5 years.

Five years. That’s how long you’ve been gone. That’s how much of life you’ve missed.

And now you’re left to pick up the pieces of your life by yourself, along with your broken heart.

If you were completely honest with yourself you always knew it wouldn’t have worked with Steve. You’ve never thought you were remotely good enough for him, and that was before even comparing yourself to Peggy.

There was no doubt in your mind that she was Steve’s soulmate, and you’ve talked about her enough times to know he thought the same.

- Original Ending -

You’re taken out of your thoughts by a knock on your door. You frown and cautiously walk to it, picking up your gun from its hiding place under the coffee table.

It’s probably nothing but better safe than sorry, right?

You take a peek from the peephole and frown even more when you see that whoever’s on the other side of the door covered it.

You ready your gun and take a deep breath, your hand on the doorknob. You open and lose no time pointing right in front of you, but you almost drop your gun along with your jaw when you see who’s standing there.

You almost feel like you’re dreaming so you pinch yourself, which makes him laugh and when that sound hits your ears you know you’re not hallucinating either.

Steve Rogers, the same face you’ve always known, standing right in front of you.

For a moment neither of you say anything, then he decides that maybe you’re too in shock to talk so he breaks the silence.

“I’ve never knocked on my own door before. That was a wild ride.” He laughs again and at the sound you can’t help but let the tears you’ve been trying so hard to keep in fall.

The moment he sees the first tear Steve’s face falls and then he’s wrapping his arms around you, your face buried in his chest.

You slowly bring your own arms to wrap around his waist, almost worried that if you make any sudden moves he’s gonna disappear.

Once your arms are around him too, you realize it’s all real and he’s actually there and you let yourself go, crying your eyes out and clinging to him.

Suddenly, he picks you up and you hang onto him for dear life as he carries you back inside the apartment, closing the front door and then goes to sit on the couch with a still crying you on his lap.

He does nothing more than run his hand through your hair, rubbing your back with the other and letting you get it all out.

After a few minutes you start to calm down and finally get your voice back. “I thought you were gone forever.”

Of all the reactions he could’ve had, he surprises you with the only one you don't expect by chuckling. “You never were very patient, were you, sweetheart?”

You look up at him and frown, sniffling and softly say “What do you mean? You were gone… Bruce said you missed your mark.”

He nods and wipes away the rest of your tears while he talks. “I did. I put the wrong time by mistake. You know me and technology.”

“But… You and Peggy…” your frown is still in place, just not being able to believe that he came back.

Did you read the signs wrong? Was he always planning on coming back? Almost like he can read your mind, he starts giving you some answers, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Once I was done returning the stones, I knew I had a chance to go back to the 40s and I was gonna take it. I thought I wanted to take it. But I couldn’t.”

“Why not?” You ask in a whisper.

“Because of you, doll.” He says without missing a beat with a sweet smile. “All I could think about was you. Your smile, your laugh, your strength. The way you tried so hard to be happy for me even though you thought I was leaving forever. The mere thought of not seeing you, not talking to you, not having you by my side, it killed me.”

You’re almost crying again, but you make yourself talk, needing clarification, your voice still quiet. “What are you saying, Steve?”

“I’m saying, there is no me and Peggy. It’s me and you. It’s been me and you from day one.” He takes your face in his hands and leans in more, your faces only inches apart. “And I’m an idiot for taking this long to figure it out. I’m sorry, sweetheart. Can you forgive me?”

You swallow down the tears threatening to fall again and waste no time before nodding, maybe a little too eagerly but you don’t really care, and he doesn’t seem to mind either judging by his smile.

“I forgive you, Steve.” The words are barely out of your mouth before Steve is leaning in the rest of the way and kissing you.

You kiss back without thinking twice about it and after a few seconds you pull back, big goofy smiles on both your faces.

You spent the rest of the afternoon like this, cuddling and talking and just enjoying each other’s company.

You didn’t do much, it wasn’t much different from the endless number of days you spent together, but you couldn’t help but feel like this was the best day of your life.

And even if you didn’t know it, Steve was thinking the exact same thing.

After all, what is better than spending the day cuddling with the girl he always needed? The girl he loves.

And that girl is you.

- Alternative Ending -

You’re taken out of your thoughts by a knock on your door. You frown and cautiously walk to it, picking up your gun from its hiding place under the coffee table.

It’s probably nothing but better safe than sorry, right?

You take a peek from the peephole and immediately roll your eyes, lowering your gun while opening the door.

“I guess you weren’t expecting company.” Bucky says, more amused than anything when he sees the gun in your hand.

You make no attempt to try and hide your annoyance as you roll your eyes again. “What are you doing here, Barnes?”

It’s not that you don’t like Bucky, you just don’t know him all that well if not only thanks to the stories Steve shared of him in the 40s.

“I thought I’d make sure you were okay. You ran out of there pretty fast.”

“Yeah, well, he’s gone. It’s a done deal, don’t see why I had to stick around.” You say crossing your arms defensively.

Bucky doesn’t seem to mind your response as he simply leans on the doorway and keeps talking. “He was disappointed not to see you.”

You frown, beyond confused by a single and simple sentence. Bucky smiles and elaborates. “He lived a life. And he’s old now, but still alive.”

“Oh.” is all you can say. Steve old? You can’t even imagine it.

“He gave the shield to Sam.” Bucky continues, just making conversation.

“Really? I would’ve thought he’d give it to you if he had to choose.” Bucky frowns a little and tilts his head, seeming genuinely confused.

“Why would he give it to me?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, you were his best friend, you’re a supersoldier. I guess I just assumed.”

“None of that matters, Sam is a good man. He deserves it.” He argues, then quickly adds. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

You grin and nod, then say. “For what it’s worth you’re a good man too, Bucky. Steve thought the world of you, trust me. He never stopped thinking highly of you.”

That was nothing more than a simple reassurance for you, but for Bucky it was so much more than that.

He knew you were talking about his time as the Winter Soldier. You were telling him that, even knowing about all that, Steve never let that influence his opinion of his former best friend. He still knew who Bucky was, deep down.

Bucky never heard words like that coming from anyone that’s not Steve, and you said it so casually, like you really believe it and to you it’s no big deal to just say it.

But for him, it was everything.

You didn’t know it then, but that was the moment Bucky started falling for you.

“Why are you checking up on me, Bucky? Really?” You say after a moment, breaking the silence that fell between you.

“Steve made me promise to take care of you before he left.” He said simply.

Bucky didn’t know it then, but that was the moment your heart broke completely.

You managed to keep yourself from breaking right then and there, but Bucky could see that something was wrong.

He didn’t push it though, making conversation a little more before saying goodbye with the promise that he’d be back the next day.

And that’s what he did.

In fact, he came back everyday, no matter what, to check on you.

It started out as quick visits where he wouldn’t even enter the door, then you started inviting him in for coffee because you felt bad he came to Steve’s apartment everyday, always refusing to let you meet him somewhere else.

After a while you started inviting him for meals, to watch a movie or just to hang out.

You almost didn’t know how, but at one point you started to really look forward to Bucky’s visits everyday, getting excited every time he knocked on the door.

It was the best part of your day, really.

You knew Bucky felt the same, it was like you both knew what was slowly happening between you and you had a silent understanding not to discuss it.

You also never discussed your feelings for Steve, but you felt like Bucky somehow knew nonetheless.

But the more time you spent with Bucky the more those feelings seemed to fade.

You still loved Steve, still missed him, you could feel yourself letting go of him with every time you spent time with Bucky, every time he made you laugh, every time your hands would accidentally touch.

You could feel yourself falling in love with Bucky and, this time, it felt right. This time you didn’t even try to stop it.

And it seemed like Bucky felt the same way.

Time after time he became more bold with his flirting, with physical touch, until eventually he was shamelessly hitting on you and cuddling you every time he could.

And, when you made no attempt whatsoever to stop him, it was the only signal he needed to keep going.

One day, after about a year of his daily visits, he couldn’t hold back anymore and kissed you, overjoyed when you kissed him back. He asked you out right after and you didn’t hesitate to say yes.

It was the best first date of your life, but to be fair you’d been hanging out and basically dating for almost a year, so it felt simple. Effortless and uncomplicated.

It was everything both of you needed. Your feelings for Steve were almost gone now, which is why you couldn’t even begin to explain what happened yesterday.

You were out with Bucky, hand in hand as you walked around the park, just enjoying the sunshine, when you could swear you saw Steve, not old Steve but your Steve, just standing there, looking at you and Bucky.

It was for a second, you merely glanced in his direction and by the time you turned back he was gone.

Bucky didn’t notice anything, if not only the way you tensed and stopped in your tracks.

You thought about telling him what you thought you saw, but even you knew how crazy you would’ve sounded. So you said nothing and shrugged it off.

Because it was nothing.

Right?

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steven-g-rogers · 1 year

Text

//Closed Starter. @agentpeggycarterrogers

Steve was exhausted. It had felt like he’d been fighting for decades now. Although that was probably true. It had been a long time. Just one thing after another, wearing him down until there was only Captain America and nothing left of the man before. Ultron had told him that without war he’d be nothing, and for a long time that as all he believed. Ever since the war every part of him had been chipped away. Losing Bucky. Crashing the plane. Being pulled out of the ice only to find that the thing he’d died trying to destroy was back in the hands of people using it to try and take over the world again. Loki. SHIELD. Ultron. His own friends. By the time Thanos had snapped his fingers, Steve had already lost everyone he’d ever had. Some of them more than once.

But he’d kept going, because that was all he had. Until Scott had shown up and given him a glimmer of hope. So he fought again and won. He lost more, Natasha and Tony, but there was hope underneath. Hope that maybe, thanks to time travel Captain America could be handed off for good and he could be Steve Rogers again.

He’d had concerns though. Concerns that he’d talked to death with Bucky. Would everyone be okay without him? What if Peggy didn’t want him? What if he’d changed too much and he wasn’t the man Peggy had fallen in love with? What if he messed up the timeline? But in the end Bucky had assured him he’d be okay. That they all would. The timeline couldn’t be changed, if Steve went back and Peggy took him back, then that was what was meant to happen. If not, then that was meant to happen too, and at least he’d know for sure that there was no place in this world for Steve Rogers anymore.

Even knowing that, he was frozen in place. He had been travelling through time for weeks now, fighting and sneaking around as he put the infinity stones back where they belonged. He was beaten up, exhausted, and terrified. This was the moment. He was going to see Peggy again. His Peggy. And if she rejected him, he wasn’t sure what he’d do next.

He brought his hand down, knocking on the door.

#steve x peggy #steve rogers rp #avengers rp #agentpeggycarterrogers #steve rogers #peggy carter #role play #closed starter #// ps you don't need to match my formatting #// i am so not fussy

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imyourbratzdoll · 1 year

Note

hiii

I would love if you could write something like this:

Steve went to the past after putting back the stones bc he wanted to stay with Peggy…so he did, but after 5 hours with her he realised that Peggy is not the love of his life but it’s actually reader.

Like they were engaged and had been together for long long time (since 2012 idk) and reader was gonna tell him she was pregnant after he came back from putting the stone…

But bc of time travelling 5 hours in the past are 5 years for the rest (like reader, Bucky Sam etc.) which means that Steve has been gone for 5 years, so when he comes back he is shocked and confused but then he finds readers house (which is similar to Tony’s and pepper yk cute in the woods near a lake bla bla bla) and he rings the bell and she opens and is whole like tf???

And then her their son come up behind her and ist like “mommy who’s this?”

Also Bucky and Sam and all the others have helped her with the baby and now son.

Idk you can decide if she if a single mom or if she is with in a relationship with Bucky or if she is with someone else yk

I love you and your fics!!!

Besos 💕

hi honey! I hope you like this and thank you, I love you too!

summary - steve left you for peggy, only to realise five hours in that she was no longer the woman he loved. when he came back, five years had passed. will you ever forgive him for the sake of your son? or is your future with him no more?

warning - angst, so much angst, swearing.

the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips

Five years ago today, you had watched the love of your life disappear to the past and not return. You had suspected something was going to go wrong that day, and it was also the day you had found out you were pregnant. You could remember when Steve had first gone to the past, and when he came back… He was… Distant. He couldn’t even look at you, wouldn’t hug or kiss you, and those days were the hardest. You had felt so alone and unloved.

Right now, you’re decorating a bunch of biscuits that have been cooling since they came out of the oven. You find yourself zoned out as you stare out the kitchen window and at the swing tied to a huge tree. You hadn’t thought of Steve for a very long time, sure. There were times that your son reminded you of him. Of course, he would. He was the spitting image of his father, just cuter and tinier.

“Mumma?” You blink, clearing your throat before you turn and look down at your son. “Can I have a biscuit now?” You smile softly, cupping his cheek, your thumb stroking his face.

“Sure, baby. Which colour do you want?” He points to the sparkly green one, mentioning that it reminds him of Rex. The dinosaur he’s currently clutching. “Here you go, baby. But that’s the only one, okay? We don’t want to spoil your dinner.”

“Okay, mumma! Thank you!” He gives you a wide, toothless smile before stuffing the biscuit into his mouth and walking away, probably to continue watching his cartoons.

You sigh, sadly watching him walk away. You had been engaged to Steve and thought he was happy with you. You were ready to marry him, buy a house in the woods and have many kids, but he left you for her. He left, and you were alone to pick up the pieces. Sure, you could’ve gone to Bucky, Sam, or any of the remaining avengers. But they were all grieving themselves, so you packed up. You bought that house in the woods and ended up raising your child alone. You remember during your pregnancy, you didn’t want to live, but you didn’t want to do that to everyone else. When the team found out you were pregnant and trying to do it alone, they nagged you until you let them help.

You could remember clear as day when Bucky and Sam knocked on your door, bringing you food daily, staying up with you, and getting you your cravings. They were there when your son was born, and they were there to change his diaper and feed him whilst you slept. They were there, and yet, he wasn’t. Of course, he wasn’t. The man decided to be selfish when you needed him the most. What hurt most was the fact that he couldn’t be selfish with you. He had to be with another for that. You wish he had told you so that you could say goodbye.

You were so in your head that you didn’t hear the familiar rumble of a motorbike pull up. It just blended with old memories of Steve. The bell rang throughout the house, followed by some knocking. Your brows furrow as you wonder what asshole is ringing and knocking at your door. Couldn’t they decide which one? You put down the biscuit you were decorating, brushing your hands against your apron before you head over. Your hand wrapped tightly around the handle, and you swung it open.

“What the–” Your eyes widen when they connect with those beautiful blue ones you fell in love with. Your lips curl in a sneer, an angry expression crossing your face. “What do you want? Shouldn’t you be fucking some old whore right now?”

Steve winces, his eyes dragging up and down your body as he takes you in. He can feel his heart nearly beating out of his chest at the sight of you in front of him. “Listen… I know–”

“No, you listen. You piece of shit!” You whisper-yell, teeth clenched as you don’t want your son to hear. Your finger presses against Steve’s chest as you poke. “You left me. You left us. For someone who had already moved on, for someone who was in your past. You asked me to marry you, we had these plans for our future, and you threw them away for someone else.” You rapidly blink away the tears, not wanting to show him any sign of weakness. “You plunged your hand into my chest and ripped it out, taking it with you. You don’t get to come back here and think all is forgiven. It’s been five fucking years, Steven, five. Why’d you even come back, huh? You get sick of her already?” Your hands rest on your hips as you glare up at him.

He gulps, feeling tears fill his eyes as he realises the amount of pain you’ve gone through these past years. “I didn’t know it was going to be five years… I was only there for five hours, but I came back for you! I realised you are the one I love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He stops as your glare hardens.

“Steven Grant Rogers, are you telling me you had to leave without a goodbye, leave me for another woman for you to realise I was the one? Is that what your telling me right now?! You’re telling me the many years we spent together weren’t enough for you to know. But possibly sticking your dick in another made you realise?”

Steve’s mouth opens as he’s about to argue, but a much smaller voice cuts him off. “Mummy? Who’s this?” Your eyes fall down to your son’s, watching as he glares at Steve. Steve’s brows are furrowed as he takes in the child, noticing how similar he looks. His breath hitches as the pieces of the puzzle begin to connect.

He looks at you, tears now rolling down his face. “Is he…” You reluctantly nod, causing sobs to escape Steve. “Oh my god, I have a son? Why didn’t you tell me? I missed so much….”

You glare, “why didn’t I tell you? Why didn’t I tell you?!” You hear a small whimper and quickly look down at your son. “It’s okay, baby. Why don’t you go and watch more of your cartoons? Mummy will be there soon.” He nods, casting one last glance at Steve before wandering off, hesitating to leave his mum with a man who is obviously upsetting her. “I was going to tell you that day, Steve. But you decided that leaving for someone in the past was more important than staying with the people you had in the present.”

He takes a shaky breath, staring at you. “What can I do to make it up to you? What can I do to make us a family?” His fingers itch, wanting to reach out and touch you, but he knows you’d rip his limbs off if he did.

“There’s nothing you can do, Steve. I may let you see your son, but anything between us is over. I don’t want to be with someone I can’t trust, but the first sign of you becoming distant, I will ban all interaction with my son. Understood?” He nods, feeling his heartbreak at your decision, wondering if there’s someone else.

“I–Is there someone else?” Steve gulps, watching your jaw clench. “I wouldn’t blame you if you moved on… But.”

“But what? Do you really think you have a say in anything? You left me, Steve. Remember that, before you ask personal questions, you have no right to know.” You move back, and just as you are about to close the door. You look at him. “But, no. There’s no one else because you ruined that for me. So I hope she was worth it.” And with that, you close the door, sliding down it as you try and catch your breath. Your head goes into your hands, trying not to break down because you still have your son to think about.

“Mummy?” You quickly blink the tears away, lifting your head, your eyes meeting his bright blue ones. He comes closer and crawls into your lap, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face into your neck. “I love you, mummy. Will always be here.”

And with those words, you break down. You have no idea of the man on the other side listening to everything, on the verge of his own tears. You only care about the sweet angel hugging you. You hold him tightly against you as you cry into his hair. “I love you too, baby boy. Mummy will always love you.”

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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sosa2imagines · 3 months

Text

Promises broken, promises kept.

Warnings- Angst, comfort and fluff, pregnancy. -----------------------------------------------------

"I'll never break your heart." You keep thinking about it, why did you believe that line? Isn't it obvious when someone says that, they will break your heart?!

When you had joined the Avengers, your sole purpose was to help save the world. But as days went by, you became friends with everyone. Especially closer to Steve. Looking after Bucky brought you both closer. But you guys never crossed the line beyond friendship. Things were good.

When the infinity war happened and Tony took retirement, while the rest turn to dust. The remaining you were devastated. While Natasha was trying her best to get to Clint, along with running the world, you and Steve found solace in each other. The first time it happened was, when Steve ended up having a nightmare about Bucky and he slept with you. After you had calmed him, you both ended up kissing each other and one thing led to another.

You had strictly made the pact to be only friends with benefits. And that's how it was. Most nights were spent in bed together having amazing sex. Steve was obsessed with every single curve on your body. But as time went by Steve started to fall for you or atleast that is what you think.

"I promise you Y/n I will never break your heart." How naïve of you to believe him. Despite your past experiences and he knowing about them, you gave in. You both were officially a couple.

When Scott showed up and the possibility of getting everyone back came true. Everyone got to work along with Tony. When everyone came back from the past with the stones, you all were mourning Natasha, but your heart hurt a little bit more when Steve just couldn't stop talking about how close he was to Peggy. Like a good listener you listened to him with a smile on your face and the night ending in sex. Getting everyone back came with another cost. You lost Tony. You couldn't even tell him he was going to be an uncle. Yes, you got pregnant, apparently little bit of carelessness cost you. But you were not complaining.

When you told Steve the good news, you were hoping for any reaction instead of a "That's great, I'm happy". You tried and tried to ignore the burning sensation. Maybe you are over-reacting or just thinking too much. Just a week before the actual day of going back in time to return the stones, Steve took part in the trial of the time machine. You were scared to death. But Steve promised you “Nothing will happen to me baby doll, I’ll come back to you. I promise” And nothing truly happened to him. He kept his promise. He came back safe and sound. Just not alone though. He came back with Peggy, holding her close to his side. Steve’s eyes never left Peggy who was looking around in awe. But you still had faith in him. Maybe he is just happy and nothing else.

Bruce was the first to break the silence, while Sam and Bucky stood next to you protectively. “What have you done? You can’t play with past, present and future!” Finally, Steve’s gaze falls on you all, before opening his mouth, “Look I know you all are upset.” Taking a step forward from the platform with Peggy. “Peggy wanted to see the future, I’m going to take her back when I go to return the stones.” Before anyone can say something else, Steve started introducing Peggy to everyone. “Sergeant Barnes, so good to see you.” Peggy smiles, “Yeah, Hi Peggy.” He replies somewhat uncomfortable about the situation, glaring at Steve. When it came to introduce you to Peggy, Steve was bit nervous. But he had no choice, since everyone around, except for Peggy, knew about your relationship with Steve. Having waited enough, you introduced yourself, “Hi Peggy, I’m Y/n, Steve’s girlfriend.” Peggy’s smile faded, the anger on her face, if looks could kill, Peggy just murdered you in more than ten ways.

Later that day when everyone was back in the compound, Steve refused to leave Peggy alone. He brought her back to your shared apartment, to live with you and him. “Peggy, please listen to me, it is not what you think like, I was alone here, you have no idea how much I have lost, that’s when Y/n came into my life and I found solace in her.” Steve explains with puppy dog like expression, Peggy was furious, how dare you steal her Steve? Peggy was not going to let that happen. She would make Steve realize, he belongs to her and not you. “Oh Steve, I’m back now, you are not alone anymore. We can live our life, just the way we wanted.” Steve was over the moon, when he heard Peggy say this. But at the same time, he knew this was not possible for them at the current moment and then there was you, carrying his child. “Y/n…she is pregnant.” Steve tells her hesitantly, Peggy was not in the mood to hear any of this, as much as she wanted to rip Steve apart, she knew she had to be careful, with her words. “Is it yours?” “I..think so” Steve lies, while Peggy smirks. “Then there’s nothing to worry about. Show me around darling, we have got little time for ourselves.” And that’s what he did, Steve spent his time with her. Even the nights were spent with her. Steve would often come to bed late, after you did go to sleep.

He took Peggy to all the places he has been with you. From museum, to the diner, to the secret lake just behind the park. Whatever Peggy wants, Steve does that. Thankfully, you did get some alone time with Steve, only when Peggy use to go for bath. Apart from that time, she would be stuck by his hip. “It’s feels like ages, I have spent some time with you Steve.” Steve looks at you when you mention that, giving you a half smile. “Oh, baby doll, are you jealous?” He teases, but that didn’t hurt you, the fact he can’t see the pain in your eyes, hurt you the most. One night on your way to the kitchen, you saw Steve and Peggy dancing, to close to comfort, her eyes were closed, head resting on his chest. While Steve looked at her in adoration. When he saw you, he gave you a curt nod and a smile which you returned.

Maybe, just maybe Steve is using this time to be with her, till she goes back again. Maybe just maybe you have nothing to worry about. The night before the big day, Steve at last came to bed early. You both ended up having the best sex! Something the way he was nuzzling into you made you feel something is not right. “Steve?” “Umm?” “I’m, scared.” “Don’t be scared Y/n, everything is fine.” The way he said your name instead of baby doll, made you flinch. He did never call you by your actual name. “You’ll come back to me, right?” “I promise you.”

The next day, Steve was standing on the platform with Peggy, looking very happy. His hand firm on her back. He looks at everyone, before finally glancing at you with a small smile. He nods to Bruce to start, and on a count of five Steve is back in the past with Peggy.

Bruce, Sam, Bucky and you waited and waited. Five hours went by, Bucky was the first to break the dreading silence. "He is not coming back, punk." Sam gave him a look to warn him about you, but you just raised your hand and instinctively held your stomach with your free hand and ran away from there. When you reached the apartment, shared apartment, you fell on the floor and cried your heart out. Everything hurt, the pain was unbearable. The loneliness and emptiness started to haunt you. The pictures of you and Steve were looking like they are laughing at your misery. You took each and every single frame and threw it on the floor with mighty force, removing your anger. Your appetite was lost, you barely took care of yourself, forgetting you are pregnant.

When no one heard from you for a week, Bucky and Sam came to meet you. When you didn't open the door, Sam thought you might be out, but Bucky felt something wrong so before Sam can stop him, Bucky broke the door. They met with the site of dirty house, picture frames broken, Bucky kept on calling your name, when he reached the bedroom his heart sank. You were lying unconscious on the ground. "SAM!". They both took you to the hospital. That's when the doctor told them that you are pregnant and suffering from stress and dehydration. Sam was furious and angry with Steve, while Bucky was in his own dilemma. 'Did Steve know? What if he does not know? When did you found out? Do you regret it? What are you going to do now? How will you do it alone?'

After some hours you regain consciousness. "Bucky?", the mention of his name brought him out of his thoughts. "Y'/n, how are you feeling?" "Bucky, what happened?" you ask voice barely above whisper. "Doll, you were unconscious, because of stress and dehydration." You panicked when Bucky told you that, hand immediately going on the stomach, Bucky sensed it and was quick to inform you "The baby is fine. But you need to rest and take good care." Relief washed over you, tears forming in your eyes. Bucky took hold of your hand, sitting next to you, "Y/n?" "Umm?" "Did...did Steve...did Steve know?" You cried at that question just nodding your head unable to talk, what you didn't realize was Bucky crying with you. Bucky couldn't believe Steve left you in this state. What was he thinking? This was not his best friend and brother. "I'm sorry Y/n, I'm so sorry", you and Bucky cried together, Sam left to give you both some privacy and to hide his own tears. "Are you going to...what have you decided...have you decided on anything?" "I'm going to keep it" you sniffle, Bucky nodded his head in response. "Let me help you please" you were about to interrupt before he raised his hand to let him speak first. "For friendship shake, you have done a lot for me, please let me be there for you."

Bucky was quick to convince you. You refused to go back to your and Steve's apartment. So Bucky took you to his. Now his minimal furniture home was full of furniture, in door plants and other necessities. You made his home, cozy and homely. You both took care of each other. And to be honest you were glad he was there for you. The cravings and mood swings were getting better of you.

Bucky did not complain once. Even when you made him to eat peanut butter and cheese sandwich. "Doll you sure, you are craving this?" he gulps nervously looking at you, while you are busy devouring the sandwich, in a muffled voice you replied "Oh just try it and even if you don't like it, I can eat it." Bucky tried and surprisingly he liked the combination and before he could actually finish the sandwich happily, you were looking at him with teary pouty look, okay not at him but his sandwich, which he hesitantly gave it to you.

One night you had a nightmare about Steve coming back to take your baby away, you cried hyperventilating, breathing becoming difficult, Bucky stayed all night with you, helping you. "Please don't go Bucky, stay with me please" you begged and Bucky was quick to cup your cheeks wiping your tears "Doll I'm always with you and no one is going to take away our child, I promise you." When Bucky said 'our child' you felt secure. Since that night Bucky was the father of your baby.

He didn't even get angry when on random times, you use to miss Steve. "What if he is stuck in time?" "Then, he will do anything to come back to you." "What if Peggy has forced him to stay?" "Then I promise you I'll go back in time and kill her." “Ste…Steve he promised, maybe I did something wrong….” Bucky cups your cheeks to stop you from rambling and getting nervous again “Hey, hey look at me Y/n, I believe you doll. You didn’t do anything wrong. Steve is a fucking idiot, he has no idea what he has lost. I promise you doll I will protect our child and I will never leave you.”

The last month of the pregnancy was difficult, with the constant fear of going into labor. Ten days were left for the baby to born. But on the fifth day you were restless. The fact that you were dealing with this pregnancy for so many months with all these struggles, pains and discomforts made Bucky feel so empathetic towards you. You were really strong minded still fighting it all and that's what he loved about you.

He saw that you were getting really restless and he knew what it meant. It was a clear signal that the baby might actually be coming today. He was nervous, but he needed to keep his calm and make sure everything was taken care of. He didn't want you to worry about a thing.

"There should be a machine, where the mother can transfer the womb into the father...ow!" You tried to joke to ease the pain. "Wow! That's a really nice idea. If only we could get that machine and I could do the whole process in my body instead of you going through all these pains and discomforts." Bucky replied keeping the humor. "No! I don't want you to be in pain" you cried, damn mood swings! He laughed at this statement of yours. The way you were being so protective of him even in this phase was very sweet. "Oh doll! It's the other way around. I wouldn't want you to be going through all these discomforts either. I'd take all the pain myself if I could."

"I really appreciate that Bucky....oh my god" you whined in pain. Bucky was watching you as you were pacing back and forth. As soon as you said "oh my god" he got up, his instinct was already kicking in and he ran to hold you. He was watching you closely because he knew you had started getting contractions now.

"Please tell me the wetness on the floor is something else", as he looked at the floor, it was wet and his face changed. He knew what that meant. He took your hands to comfort you. "Your water broke. We need to go to the hospital now and as fast as possible."

"Nah, I must have peed, I need to sleep!" He could feel that you were getting more and more nervous, going into a panic right now. So he needed to support you more than ever now. He was trying to keep you calm but it was hard. "It's okay doll. I know you're not ready for it but it's only natural that it should happen. You can do it my love. I'm going to be right here besides you, so don't worry at all."

He was holding you tightly and making sure that you didn't fall down. He was being so protective of you right now, trying to support and keep you calm. He didn't want you to panic right now as that the last thing he wanted during this stage.

"Don't forget the bag and call Sam to help you." Again, you were thinking about him, when you supposed to think about yourself and the baby. He quickly rushed into the other room to bring the bag which had all the items you would need. He returned soon with the bag in his hands. Bucky carried you in his arms towards the car, making you sit comfortably. He immediately calls Sam to inform him.

Your contractions were getting a little bit more painful now as you started struggling with the pain. Bucky was very calm even at this very moment. He had a sense of responsibility that he needed to take care of you. Your condition was clearly deteriorating and he needed to stay composed and strong for you. As he started driving, he was just trying to keep you calm and make you breathe slow and deep. You tried to distract yourself by focusing on the people on the road, to thinking about food, even the new Sylvester Stallone movie. Bucky was proud to see you being brave despite being in pain.

As soon as you reached the hospital you were taken to the maternity ward. The delivery was complicated, you nearly fainted twice, Bucky kept on encouraging you, telling you how proud he is. Labor was hard. But with lots of struggle your daughter was born. Healthy half super solider. When you held her, you cried but this time because of happiness. In the end the pain was worth it. Bucky was scared to hold her, but you encouraged him. When your baby girl got comfortable in his arms, Bucky couldn't believe it. He felt so many emotions. He secretly vowed to protect you both and keep you happy.

The nurse asked if you had decided on a name for the baby, which you immediately told her with confidence and no hesitation "Natalia Sarah Barnes." Bucky was shocked, he asked the nurse to give you some time to think, but you refused to change the name. The nurse left and Bucky looked at you for confirmation. "Doll, you gave Natalia my last name" "I know after all she is your daughter, Bucky" "I'm not...are you sure?....you can" before he can finish you spoke again, "Bucky remember when I had the nightmare about Steve taking her away?" Bucky nodded "You said you will protect our child, since then she was yours." Bucky was speechless, his eyes teary Natalia in his arms, he couldn't believe you gave her his last name.

Unlike Steve, Bucky never broke the promises he made to you and your daughter. He was a man of his words. He would do anything for you both.

As years went by things were starting to look good. Natalia was three now. Bucky was her dad and she was proud of him. Of course, you had told her about Steve, but it was her decision on what she wants to do.

As for you and Bucky, you both know, your relationship is more than just friendship, but at the moment you both are focusing more on Natalia rather than yourselves. But the possibilities of you both being together is endless.

----------------------------------------------------- @ashhsage I hope you like this, and sorry it took so much of time to get it done. -----------------------------------------------------

#sebastian stan characters #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader #chris evans characters

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stxrvel · 4 months

Text

i don't wanna live forever (1)

summary: reader couldn't stop having deaths in her life ever since the Supersoldier serum came into her life. no matter how hard she tried to stay sane, it seemed that life didn't want to give her a break. until, one afternoon, she learned that one of her old friends was alive… (you guys know im bad at summaries, but please give this one a chance)

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4.5k

warnings: angst, major character deaths, canon deaths¿?, bad words, english is not my first language! thoughts of revenge and death, this is like an introductory chapter, so the buckyxreader interaction is low, but it'll get better, i promise!

note: holy fuck guys. i just spent like five hours writing and editing this and i fucking love it. its been a while since ive been this proud of a work, im actually scare the emotion will disappear, but i really want to rejoice in this one. i wanted to write something a little different from my usuals, maybe a little common in the fanfiction world, but i started and i simply could not stop (or maybe just approach this bucky fic from another perspective). so this is the first part and i'll try with all my heart to keep this going because it was fucking insane, at least for me. i really hope you all like this as much as i do! feel free to leave any comment! thanks always for all the support!! see you next time <3

part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4

When you went into the Supersoldier serum project with Steve, you thought you were going to change the world. Of course, at that time when technology was relatively new any invention felt like the beginning of a new era. That's how it was all sold to you and it was how you expected everything to turn out… Until you realized that it was all really a waste of effort and time.

They were just propaganda for war. Not to stop it, to promote it. To motivate it.

You tried, on several occasions, not to think too much about it. You tried to stay out of it as Steve sometimes asked you to, even though even he didn't want to, as Bucky asked you to when you lay on his shoulder to cry in the little time you had free between trips. It was a great burden of guilt and helplessness.

Until you and Steve, with the almost imposed help of Peggy and Howard, rescued Bucky from the evil hands of Johann Schmidt and his nefarious organization, HYDRA, that, unbeknownst to you, would haunt you for a long time to come. It was only after that, after spending several sleepless days on edge thinking about what might be happening to Bucky, that you and Steve were finally able to go out and contribute something. Destroy HYDRA and the Red Skull's plans.

Of course, you realized that not everything could go right when, the one mission you couldn't attend, Bucky didn't return. And then Steve didn't come back either.

“Do you think this will ever end?” you had asked Bucky the day before his last mission.

“Of course it will,” he had answered without hesitation, moonlight illuminating his clear eyes, squeezing your hand as if it was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. “And after that we can begin to live as it should be.”

But there was no after that, because you never recovered from losing him. From losing them both.

“Are you okay?” Peggy approached, in the middle of the afternoon when the sun was streaming through the stained glass windows of the church, illuminating the spot where Steve's empty coffin had been, because they didn't even find his body. They didn't even think there was any of it left.

You barely moved your head to acknowledge her presence, moving the prayer slip they had recited throughout the mass between your hands. Your eyes were crystallized, in tears that no longer even made the effort to flow, because you had already spent too many days and nights crying. Peggy had been on the other side of the church, sitting next to Howard while the priest spoke, because you had refused to be near them in those moments. You didn't want to be near them.

“As well as one can be,” you slurred, finding that it had been a long time since you'd last used your voice for anything other than cursing and crying disconsolately.

The people had already left, probably an hour or more ago. The empty coffin had already been brought out, all the flower arrangements had been picked up, and the priest was preparing for the evening mass. You knew you had to leave, you knew Peggy and Howard were there waiting for you, but you felt stuck at that moment. You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to get ahead, you didn't want that life if it had to be this cruel.

You heard Peggy's sigh, before she took a seat next to you, a short distance away, averting her gaze to look at Christ on the cross.

You didn't know if you were selfish to be so closed off to your friends at this moments, because they must be grieving as much as you were, but you didn't know how to deal with the future possibilities. Bucky and Steve, great men and soldiers, one even with enhanced abilities, had not been able to make it through the punishment of war. What if Peggy and Howard were the same? What if they too had the cruel fate of dying at the hands of injustice? Could you deal with that? With everyone gone?

Maybe you could open up to them a little more because if not, who else? Turning away from them was not going to ensure their survival in this hate-filled society. Maybe you could protect them, like you couldn't protect Steve and Bucky. Maybe you could make a difference, because you had the chance to.

“You know,” Peggy spoke again, rearranging herself on the bench and crossing her legs, “Steve always knew this was how it would end.”

Her wistful, mournful, fragile voice sent a shiver through your body. Peggy didn't consider herself someone to show herself vulnerable in front of others no matter how close they were, even in those things that hurt her the most, in those things that affected her personally and made her eyes water instantly, she always tended to shut down. And at that moment you didn't dare interrupt her because you knew it would probably be the only time she would talk about Steve in a long time.

“Sometimes we'd talk, between tour trips, and he would tell me that wasn't what he wanted to do, even when he had to convince you otherwise,” her clasped hands would occasionally squeeze between words, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. “He didn't know if he'd made the right decision.”

You could almost picture him, backstage at the foot of the stairs with that notebook he carried everywhere and wouldn't let go, Peggy at his side nostalgic, as helpless as the others. It reminded you of the times you'd had similar conversations with Bucky, desperate to find a purpose, a way through so much fog.

“The first time I saw him so sure of himself was when he asked us to help them look for Bucky,” she mumbled his name, as if trying not to scare you away by saying it too loudly. “Ever since then it seemed like he'd found that spark…”

“Until Bucky died,” you whispered, the words cutting through the cold and silence, Peggy shifting on the bench contritely.

“He lost something of himself from that day on, it wasn't hard to tell. The next time I heard him so sure after spending days lost, it was on that call from the plane.”

Peggy paused, raising her hand to cover her mouth as her voice faltered. You turned to look at her, wishing you could rip the pain from her soul and leave it in yours. She was trying to contain her emotions, breathing deeply, and in that moment you wondered what life might be like from now on, with the specter of grief following you around, waiting for the next time the dead knocked on your doors, unexpectedly, without allowing you to say goodbye.

“He had told me he wouldn't die in peace until he could get it all over with. And he took it all with him. And I hated him so much for it…” Peggy sobbed, her labored breathing standing out between words. She kept looking straight ahead at the stained glass windows, the expression on her face hard and scowling despite having tears rolling down her cheeks, as if she were trying to blame something for what had happened. Her reproachful eyes fixed on the Christ.

Her wails echoed through the walls of the church, the father on the dais sending them a look of sorrow. He had offered you water, thirty minutes after everyone at Steve's wake had left, when they kept walking, and you stood there.

Another empty casket.

“Ladies,” Howard's voice reached your ears amidst all the physical and emotional numbness. You could barely notice Peggy wiping under her eyes with the pocket square that was surely part of Howard's suit, as she took breaths to get up. “We should go now.”

You heard him walk, his slow, careful steps stopping just behind you. There, on his feet with his chest tight, he rested a hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze in support. He knew it was the most you would allow him at a time like this, deciding not to pass up the opportunity to let you know he was there. You sighed, feeling a heaviness take over your body as you stood up.

“Yeah, let's go.”

The next few months passed in a blur. Maybe too fast, maybe too slow, you weren't sure anymore.

Peggy continued to work at the Strategic Science Reserve for a couple of years, calling you from time to time to help her with some jobs. You kept a low profile, practically a fugitive from the state, while trying to live a halfway normal life in Europe. A lot of it thanks to Howard really.

Life had become a rather monotonous routine when you stopped getting so many calls from Peggy and Howard several years later. You knew they were fine, but not being able to return to the country filled you with anguish every day. And trying to lead a normal life became too complicated when you looked in the mirror and it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in that capsule of Dr. Erskine's with Steve.

Until Peggy called one day asking you to come back. She told you that it was safe, that there would be no state officials waiting for you at the airport, but even if that had been the situation, you wouldn't have hesitated for a second to buy the first plane ticket and fly to see them again. To Howard and Peggy, to melt into an embrace, longing for the lost years.

You had thought that contributing to the fight in World War II had earned you a ticket to at least be recognized in the military, but all you gained was the government with their mad scientists looking for you to try to recreate the Supersoldier serum. Peggy didn't want to risk you and Howard gave you no choice by giving you a plane ticket to Finland with your bags packed.

You wasted many years not being by their side, unable to keep the promise you had made them in your head to be close by to protect them, to watch over their safety.

But when you left the airport there was only Peggy, and maybe that should've told you everything.

Her hair already looked gray, the effects of gravity and time present on her face. You hated to think that you shouldn't have looked any different from the way she saw you last time when she waved you off at that same airport. Her warm gaze was the same, raising her arms with held back tears to encircle you in a big hug. She tried hard not to sob against your shoulder, you felt the choppy movement of her breath against your chest.

She looked so different and the same at the same time.

You walked to her car a moment later, her trying to carry your suitcase and you telling her you were perfectly fine carrying it on your own. Amidst a smile, she walked into the driver's door and you frowned as you saw the empty passenger seat.

“Where's Howard?” you spoke as you sat down, after stowing the huge suitcase in the trunk of the car. The way you moved to buckle up, you didn't notice the way Peggy froze in place, her hands clenching the steering wheel so tightly that her breath hitched from the effort.

“We're going to see him,” was all she said, but she was very good at hiding that something was wrong. Only for a little while.

During the trip, even though you tried to ask things about them, about what they had been doing during this time, you didn't miss the way her shoulders were tense or her eyes very alert. Something bad had happened and Peggy was trying to hide it from you.

When she pulled up in front of a church, you already knew what had happened without her answering a single one of your questions.

Howard had died.

You two had sat next to Howard's son Tony, his spitting image, in complete silence as the prayers went on. At that moment you didn't know what had happened, hoping it had been a quiet and peaceful death, because you didn't know if you would be able to endure another violent death.

Peggy gave you all the details when the mass was over, after the coffin was taken away, and you hadn't felt such fury in so many years. Not since the deaths of Bucky and Steve had that adrenaline rush of anger returned to run through your body as violently as it did at that moment, when Peggy told you that he had been murdered along with his wife. All to steal some prototypes of Dr. Erskine's serum. The damned serums with which everything had started.

This time there was a body in the coffin, but there was also a culprit. Someone to point the finger at and take it out on for years of anguish and pain.

You were at Peggy's house, staying for a few days, when she told you that wasn't all.

Peggy had a suspicion that HYDRA hadn't disappeared when Steve crashed that plane into the ice. Her suspicions generated panic in you, because Bucky and Steve had died for that, now apparently Howard, only for it all to have been for nothing. The feeling of carnage that ran through your whole head made you nauseous, years of helplessness and pain pent up in such a small body had to find its way out somehow.

“It was a man, according to the information I've been able to gather,” Peggy spoke, taking a seat across from you in the dining room of her living room, after pouring you a glass of lemonade. “He didn't die from the crash. He had a concussion. He was hit in the head. His wife died from asphyxiation.”

“Does Tony know?”

“No,” Peggy shook her head quickly, one hand over her heart as if the mere thought caused her physical pain. “It didn't even occur to me to tell him something like that.”

“And he was looking for the serum,” you recalled, a bitter feeling planted in the back of your throat, the memories of the disastrous times during the war coming back into your head like a blinding flash.

“He took them. We don't know who he is or who he works for, but whoever they are, they must have been following us for a long time to know about them.”

“You mean years,” you arched an eyebrow, your fingers touching the cool exterior of the glass seeking some reassurance.

“Possibly. That project isn't recent,” Peggy nodded, drinking her lemonade with a grimace. You stared at the liquid almost finished from her glass, a wrinkle forming between your brows with each passing second and you kept wondering why.

“But what the fuck was going through that asshole's head?” you spat angrily. Rage at already the amount of lives that serum had taken with it and at Howard's recklessness. Rage at the reaper who seemed to be following in their footsteps for some reason, rage at that damn man and whoever his damn boss was.

“It was the only option, Y/N,” Peggy turned her gaze, meeting your eyes with a strange glint.

“What do you mean?” you were almost afraid to ask, your friend's gaze suddenly turning evasive. You watched her run her fingernails over the glass of the tumbler, lost for a moment in thought. The way her shoulders slumped forward in defeat caused a pressure in your chest that made it hard to breathe. Peggy shouldn't be going through these things at this point in life.

“Howard was working with the Pentagon, as a contractor or something. They had found you. Howard felt cornered and they made him sign an agreement.”

With your incredulous look on her face, Peggy didn't dare look back at you for a few seconds. So much had happened since you had left and it seemed that you had only been told about the things you weren't going to care about so much. But if you had known that you wouldn't have cared much about giving some of the state officials their comeuppance. You would've liked Howard to trust you enough to tell you, not live in as much fear behind his back as the last few years must've been. You didn't like the way Peggy's lips curved downward, as if she, too, would've preferred to make another decision had she known this was how it was going to end.

“Howard assured them that he could recreate the serum, and told them he would as long as they left you alone.”

“Fucking asshole…” you closed your eyes, scrubbing your face with your hands. The rough skin of your hands rubbed against the delicate skin of your face, years of combat and mistreatment foreseeing a harshness that reminded you every day of what you'd had to go through to get to that moment.

“I only found out about it after it happened. I didn't see it for like a whole week,” Peggy shook her head slightly, her eyes glistening in the pain of the memories. You shook your head hard, a more violent reaction than you could have anticipated.

“That stupid… stupid asshole! What the fuck made him think I couldn't defend myself?”

“He was trying to do the right thing,” Peggy finally searched your eyes, meeting the red rims that told her you were holding back too hard breaking in front of her, only using that pain mixed with rage to keep you sane.

“And look how that turned out!”

Peggy stretched her hand across the table, with a pleading look asking you to lower your voice, averting her gaze to the hallway. You followed her gaze, for a second forgetting where you were, forgetting that her family was with you behind the doors where you were plunged into darkness. It was past midnight.

You took a second to calm yourself, trying to drown out the uncontrolled emotions and taking deep breaths to calm your fluttering heart.

“And if what you theorize is true…” you regretted the moment those words left your mouth; you didn't even want to finish the sentence.

“Do you think it is?”

“I don't want to,” you shook your head instantly, closing your eyes, the thought sounding illogical inside your head. Your hands on your chest trying to contain the storm of feelings that was making chaos inside your head. “That would mean that everything we did, everything Bucky, Steve and Howard did and sacrificed, was in vain. It will all have been in vain.”

You spent several weeks with that thought in your head, working hand in hand with Peggy, and the organization you barely knew as SHIELD, to track down the whereabouts of the killer of Tony's parents and the one responsible because the Supersoldier's serums were, surely, in the wrong hands.

And yes, it was many years of fruitless missions and dead ends, with you running every field mission and Peggy calling the shots from the New York facility. Every time you felt close to discovering something, it seemed that the enemy rejoiced in your failures and still couldn't understand how they were always three steps ahead.

However, you had to leave the missions when Peggy became ill.

The silent, lethal Alzheimer's.

During the first months in the hospital, she still recognized you. She also recognized her husband and children. But after the first year, she frowned every time her children walked through the door. After a year and a half, her husband had to remind her that they had been married for about forty years.

After two years, she was still only remembering you, Howard, Steve and Bucky. Her whole life during her time in the army was all you talked about, sometimes you would tell her how much more time had passed than she remembered and always, without fail, she would ask you how much you had done in Europe for so long by yourself.

She cried every time she remembered Howard's death. She cried every time she remembered her children. Out of her mouth came a thousand apologies that no one would accept, because there was nothing anyone could do to prevent what had to happen. You wished she had been a serum test subject instead of you.

For several years, missions to find Tony's parents killer were sporadic because you spent more time around Peggy than at the SHIELD facility. She was the only thing you had left of everything you'd ever had, of when you held the world in your hands. She was the last thing keeping you tethered to that reality, keeping madness from flooding your reason. How could you have so many years ahead of you when that was all you had to live for? A life full of the dead, full of pain and suffering. What kind of karma were you paying for?

You were leaving the SHIELD facility, after another failed mission, when Nick Fury stopped you in front of the exit. You almost rolled your eyes right under his watchful gaze, tired of having to meet him anywhere, and exhausted from his comments about this vengeance project or whatever he wanted you to be a part of.

You still didn't know how, being such an exemplary agent, Coulson had fallen into his nets.

“Miss L/N,” the man stopped you with his words, his hands behind his back and a tense stance that caught your attention.

“Fury,” you nodded in his direction, hoping he'd be quick because you were running late for your weekly visit with Peggy. “Do you need anything?”

“I'd like you to come with me somewhere,” Fury approached tentatively, his one eye fixed on your wary expression, which shifted to boredom the moment you thought you knew what he wanted.

“If this is about that project, I've told you a thousand times-”

“No,” he interrupted you, moving forward and removing his hands from behind his back. “It's not related to that. I really want you to come with me.”

“You look agitated, but I need-”

“I'll take you to see Peggy myself after this.”

You didn't like that he knew your routine, even though you weren't doing enough to hide it from the other agents. But Fury looked nervous, even though he was hiding it very well, trying to keep his cool as he looked for ways to convince you.

You figured it wouldn't be a big deal for you to go off the deep end for once. After all, Peggy never remembered you were going to see her.

You set off in Fury's armored vans, not quite sure where you were going, but sure that it was urgent, because he had taken it upon himself to let his driver know that you had to get there as soon as possible.

You took that time on the trip to come up with a new strategy for the next mission because what you were doing up to that point wasn't working and you felt too close to throwing in the towel, figuratively speaking. You could spend years following a ghost, but you wouldn't give up on finding Howard and Maria's killer.

Before the car pulled up to one of SHIELD's secret sections, they passed the giant, imposing Stark Tower. You never saw Tony again after that time at his parents' funeral, not even during his visits to Peggy because you always made it a point not to cross him. You didn't think you'd be able to look him in the eye while you knew his parents had been killed without being able to tell him. You had promised Peggy in her lucid moments that you wouldn't tell him anything until you could find the culprit. You didn't want to initiate that pain if it had to be kept repressed, as yours once was, and probably still is. You had learned, some time after the funeral, that he was living with Edwin Jarvis, and you were glad to know that he would have good companionship to keep him company in such hard times.

Fury, a handful of agents and you entered the vans through the entrance to what appeared to be the parking lot of an old warehouse. Upon entering, the first thing you noticed was the number of armed agents that seemed to be guarding the place, not at all discreet to how SHIELD used to do things. You weren't sure if Peggy would authorize something like that, but you couldn't question the Director's decisions. It wasn't your place.

“What's going on here?” you frowned, watching as every meter there was another agent and another agent. You got out of the car without waiting for an answer from Fury, moving directly toward the entrance where most of the agents were concentrated. You barely noticed their looks in contradiction, running their eyes over you and then over the man trying to catch up to you, dubious as to whether or not they should move. “Move.”

“Wait,” Fury's voice stopped the command in the agents, who turned back to look at you as you sent Fury a confused look.

“What's all this mystery, Nicholas?” the man startled almost discreetly at your tone of voice, the agents stirring uncomfortably, but kept the serene expression that was getting on your nerves. “What the fuck did you do?”

“We got a call from the Arctic.”

“From the Arctic?”

You tried to ignore the way the hairs on your neck instantly stood up, your body alerting you to something your mind still couldn't comprehend. You felt like a deer face to face with a predator, expecting the worst.

“The Colonel informed us of something that might interest us,” Fury's cryptic voice echoed in your ears, drowning out the flicker of uncertainty vibrating from your head to your toes. “They found a plane.”

You didn't even answer him. Your heart began to pound wildly, cornered, ready to have your head bitten off. The tension in your shoulders intensified, with the involuntary movement of your hands as you broke into a cold sweat. The mere implication of his words caused an emptiness in your stomach, a sense of longing and fear you hadn't felt before.

You looked at Fury, trying to find in his gaze the gleam of a lie, but there was nothing there but assurance. There was nothing but recognition and understanding in his gaze, but that didn't make the emptiness in your stomach and the tight chest go away. It didn't make the feeling of being outside your body go away.

You barely remembered to move in the direction of the door, the agents instantly moving out of your way, pushing it so hard that one of them flew out. You moved your eyes around every corner of the room, the cream-colored walls generating a great repulsion in you. And there, in the midst of all the confusion and the storm, a confused and disgruntled face looked back at you. A face you never thought you would see again.

Steve Rogers was standing a few feet away from you, barely comprehending what was happening around him and instantly recognizing you. Your chest compressed once again, the tears you held back for so many years even in your loneliness making their own way into your eyes, endangering to end that mask you wore everywhere you went.

Steve was actually there, looking back at you with his eyes shining in recognition. You didn't know if he was as surprised as you were to react or you looked so bad that he didn't know if he should approach you or not. You just knew it was him, it really was him right there in front of you. He wasn't dead. Steve wasn't dead. He was alive. Ah, he was so alive.

The broken sob that suddenly left you was loud enough to make your friend shed his stupefaction and stride over to where you were. You barely managed to cover your face, between sobs, wails and disbelief, feeling your knees give out, surrendering to the weight of the pain, when his strong arms grabbed your shoulders before you hit the floor. Preventing your fall, as you had wished so many times before.

You cried against his shoulder, when feeling him against your body you knew there was no doubt it was true. You moved your hands away from your face, wrapping them around his waist as tightly and lovingly as you hadn't hugged anyone in so long. Surely the last time you hugged someone like that was when you saw Peggy on your way back from Europe.

Steve wasn't far behind, his arms around your shoulders just as tightly, his chin against the crown of your head, moving from side to side trying to hold back the loud sobs that shook your body.

You couldn't believe it, but it was true, he was right in front of you.

Steve was alive. He had come back to your side. You didn't even want to ask why.

And there was nothing else you could think about for the rest of your life.

#stxrvel talks #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky x you #bucky fluff #bucky barnes angst #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky #james bucky buchanan barnes #winter soldier #the winter soldier #steve rogers

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endless-ineffabilities · 29 days

Text

The Bolter (part four)

Steve Rogers x f!reader / (Bucky Barnes x f!reader)

synopsis : Steve carries out his decision to return to Peggy, aiming to live out the rest of his days with her. But this means he's leaving everything behind - he's leaving you. Did he make the right choice? Will there be anything left with you to come back to?

in this chapter : Steve realises where home is, both in 2017 and in the 1950s. The reader bolts, faced with the memory of the woman Steve cherishes. Bucky starts to find himself drawn to you.

themes/warnings : pining, unrequited love, angst

word count : 2k

masterlist ▪︎ previous chapter ▪︎ next chapter

2017, a year after the Avengers' Civil War

It had been nearly four months of the arrangement that you and Steve shared. Hiding away in some remote cabin in Alaska.

Time was running out. You both knew you had to get a move on soon, as you can't stay in one place for too long.

If only you actually stayed put, and didn't cause Steve to worry almost every other week.

He quickly realized that you came and went when you pleased. A habit you must have picked up from your profession, one that Steve was sure would drive him to madness.

He was glaring at the newspaper he picked up from the nearest town when he made a supply run.

Your name was printed in bold lettering, along with your moniker, Huntress. Wanted for conspiring against the State, it read. You had been spotted in some other city, a blurred-out CCTV snapshot of your face included on the page.

If seen, please alert your local authorities. Suspected to be in hiding with Steve Rogers, famously known as Captain America. Reward to be disclosed.

Captain America. Steve never thought there would come a time when that name would leave a bad taste in his mouth, until now. He wondered what excuse you would have this time. Which person was it that you just needed to help? What was this important thing that justified suddenly leaving without telling Steve?

Steve hated your absence, but he knew he was being a hypocrite. He admired how eager you were to help your friends. If he was in your place, he would probably do the same.

He had begun thinking of the next plan. He knew he would always be welcome in Wakanda, but he didn't want to abuse their generosity. It would subject them to intense scrunity in the international political arena and they were already doing more than enough with just taking Bucky in.

No matter the next step, wherever the location, Steve found himself thinking of you. He would always think in terms of we, not I.

Where would we go next? Where would we be safe?

You were free to go wherever you wanted, of course. The others have been roaming different corners of the world, and maybe it was even safer that way, to spread out in those circumstances.

You could choose to go alone to a different hideout, and of course he would have to accept that.

But Steve didn't want you to leave him.

Why? What was he to you? What were you to him? Steve thought of how he never had the best timing. He knew there was something there, and you had to know it too.

He felt it whenever you would smile at him as he handed you your cup of coffee. He felt it in how comfortable it was when you would both read in silence at the opposite ends of the couch in the living room. He felt it in how much you cared, in how you understood his strong tether to Bucky.

And that small cabin was the biggest testament to it all. It was absurd, how much it felt like a home to Steve.

A home, while he was being hunted down and scorned by the country whose values he so proudly stood for and represented. A place of refuge, while everything else was in shambles.

He knew it was all because of you.

If only you would be quick in coming back home.

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You didn't mean to leave abruptly again, without giving any notice.

Really, you swore you didn't.

You were also lying to yourself. Because you knew it was all because of what Steve mentioned a few nights prior.

Or rather, who.

It was all going well, you thought. You were getting to know your dangerously attractive housemate quite well. So much so, that you had decided he would be the first one you'd call if you ever got into trouble or needed a shoulder to cry on.

Natasha would understand, of course. She had been in contact, updating on her whereabouts, and also checking in on her apparent ship.

"Ship? Here in the woods?" You had been visibly confused, stupidly glancing out the window as if that very ship would materialise.

"No, you idiot. Ship... relationship. A couple. All the kids are using it these days."

Oh. You debated acting oblivious but you knew that would never fly with someone like Natasha. Nothing really got past her, and you had to admit, your excitement flared up a little bit every time she hinted at something between you and Steve.

Nat was one of the shrewdest people you ever met, and she didn't have the habit of stirring things for no reason.

So you believed her, and you hoped.

In that cabin, in that isolated little bubble, Steve was really all you had and vice versa. Selfishly, you wished you never had to leave. You found yourself imagining that you were an actual couple, maybe even married. That you had chosen to live together in that place, and that circumstances did not just force you together.

That image quickly came crashing down, the curtains closing in the middle of a play. Because that was all it was - make believe.

You and Steve were sitting cross-legged in front of the fireplace one late night, your mind going haywire because his knee was pressed against yours. Your heartbeat skipping because he would pat your leg once in a while.

Maybe it was a Steve thing. Maybe it was just a gesture people make when they tell stories to their friends. But friends wouldn't lean in so close, would they?

He eagerly shared about his life in the 30s, when he was an asthmatic hundred-pound determined youngster. When he'd only ever been Steve. He kept a box of personal things that reminded him of his era, and the two of you perused through them. You smiled at the brochure from a museum exhibit that featured him and Bucky. Tried flicking on rusty old lighters. Jokingly saluted him while putting on the pins that were circulated when he was first introduced to the public as Captain America.

Your delusional self thought you noticed his focus drifting to your lips almost every time you replied to him, and that he got that look in his eyes.

But you reached in the box and picked up what looked like a compass. You pried it open, and one glance at his face told you everything.

In it was an image of Peggy Carter, you recognised. You knew all about her and her work for SHIELD. You knew her and Steve had been acquainted back in their day, but you didn't know how much.

He leaned back almost immediately, his touch no longer on you, looking like he was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"Peggy Carter, right?" you offered eventually, balancing the compass in your palm. From what you can recall, she had passed recently. But clearly her ghost was still haunting Steve.

"Y-yeah," he stammered, strangely unable to look you in the eye. "I met her just before I was put to the serum, actually."

Well, that's definitely something. She knew him when he was just Steve, and she saw him. That must have left a mark.

"So... can you tell me about her?" you asked to fill the silence. To quell the barage of intrusive thoughts you had.

Steve noticed the difference in your posture, straightened back and stiff smile. You had been freely laughing moments ago, and he had been too. He wouldn't be able to remember what he said after that, distracted by the sudden coldness in your expression. He must have said something about Peggy being good at her job. About how big of an impact she made on SHIELD.

You didn't want to ask about the obvious thing, and you didn't have to. You could see it in his eyes.

You were also responding on auto-pilot. Like you were simply making small talk. The mood had changed, and you hated yourself for not looking into Steve's file with more detail. There must have been clues there about his past relationship with Peggy.

But if you had known... then what?

You would have fallen for him anyway. But at least, you would be aware that you were falling for someone who wasn't yours to keep.

Because if there ever was something, Peggy's unfading light is one you don't want to compete with.

You let the conversation go on for a few minutes more, to not arouse his suspicion, before making some excuse about being tired and needing sleep.

Hold on, you heard him plead. Maybe you can show him one of the movies you kept telling him about? The one with the Anakin character you liked?

You did your best not to cave in.

Even if all you wanted was to crumble, and kiss him hard enough that any remnants of Peggy Carter still lingering would dissipate.

When you heard that your friend Mason needed some help getting Secretary Ross off his tail, you jumped on the opportunity to leave. Even though Natasha already said she would be on it.

Of course, she saw right through you.

The task was quick and easy and soon enough, the three of you were sitting on lawn chairs in front of her cozy trailer in Norway, when Mason cheekily commented on the little arrangement you had with the Captain America.

"How do you do it?" he joked. "Being under the same roof as him, and not getting some of that? I mean, I know you're all international criminals right now, but even criminals need some loving once in a while."

"Leave her alone," Natasha quipped, pointing at him.

"We're friends," you said defensively, to which Nat raised her eyebrows at you.

"Sure, hon," she said, before taking a swig of her beer. "Shouldn't you be making your way back to him? Steve must be worried."

You shrugged, but you knew she was right. It didn't feel right being away from him like that. Running away like you were a teenager acting out.

It took you only two days to come back, with the help of one of Mason's many smuggled helicopters.

You felt his presence immediately once you stepped foot in the cabin.

Days old newspapers sprawled on the kitchen counter. Fresh coffee on the pot. The surprising but pleasant smell of baked goods coming from inside the oven.

He materialised from your periphery, wiping his hands clean on a towel. Clean-shaven once more, your eyes getting drawn to his pink lips now in clear view.

"Did you - "

"Oh, yeah," he said, gesturing towards the oven. "I tried making you something. Nat called me and said you were on your way back."

That traitor.

But then Steve added, "Welcome back," with that sheepish smile on his face, and you forgot what you were supposed to be pretending to be annoyed at Nat for.

It was comfortable, familiar, like home, when you both silently enjoyed the blueberry muffins he prepared.

You expected him to lecture you, to remind you of the dangers of running off by yourself again. But he took a gentler approach.

It felt good when he made sure you were okay, asking the same question but in three iterations. Are you okay? Did everything go well? Does anything hurt at all?

Did he know why you left so abruptly? Did he suspect anything?

Later that evening, he brought up the fact that perhaps you both should be moving on to another safe place.

You felt his eyes glued onto you, gauging your reaction.

Taking a deep breath, you said, "Okay."

Steve had been practicing what to say, how to ask you, while you were away. He would suggest that you were safer together. That the two of you could go see Bucky for a time. That it was probably smarter for you to stick with someone like him - if you ever got caught, he could use himself as leverage, negotiate in order to lighten your sentence.

But all that was no longer needed, because you asked, "Where will we go?", without wavering.

We.

It turned out Steve wasn't going to lose his home, after all.

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The 1950s, six months after Steve's arrival

Steve is certain that there must be something wrong with him.

Maybe he's just been in the fray for far too long, going from one fight to the next, that now he is supposed to settle and be at peace - he can't.

It disappoints him. He's frustrated with himself. He's become angry.

It's not fair. How does he still feel like a man out of time for someone who has returned back to where he supposedly came from. Back to where he belongs.

Peggy has noticed his frustration, so she suggested they head down to a local fancy restaurant once a week.

A recurring date of sorts, giving them the chance to spend one-on-one time together. They had both been busy - Peggy with SHIELD, Steve with his newfound job managing a local community centre.

His job was simple enough, definitely less demanding than what he's used to, and he's satisfied that he still gets to be of service. He's also refurbishing their home. Doing everything to keep busy.

Everything to keep you out of his mind.

But Hunter would stroll in when he would fit the new wooden panels for the back porch.

Hunter, his dog. Named so because Steve had the thought that Huntress would appreciate the tribute.

You would, but you aren't there.

He's supposed to be at peace now. He's supposed to finally feel at home.

But he wasn't called the man out of time for no reason, and he's come to accept that maybe they had been onto something.

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2024, six months after Steve's departure

Bucky's date is going well. At least he thinks so. Not that he would have much knowledge on how these things go nowadays.

His first date as himself, James Barnes, since the 1940s. Leah's a lovely girl, but it was mostly due to yours and Yori's instigating that he caved in and asked her out.

Well, he didn't really ask. You did. But Leah was kind enough to accept.

The conversation is fine, flowing smoothly, a couple beers shared between the two.

Leah asks how old he is, and he replies dryly, "106."

Bucky isn't sure she got it, but it's better this way. She doesn't need to know who he is, or what he's done. She wouldn't understand.

As they play a round of Battleship, Bucky wonders if you would be good at this game, if you would playfully stare into his eyes much like Leah is doing.

He thinks of how much he likes your eyes, and the way you look at him.

But he is 106 after all, so he's not some fool. He suspects that he might be a stand-in for his revered lost bestfriend. Do you see him, and only him, or is he partially hidden behind Steve's shadow?

Do you keep him around, because he reminds you of him?

Bucky decides he's not ready to know the answer to those questions. Not just yet.

Leah makes another move. He lets her win.

He calls you right after the date. You did say that he should tell you all about it.

"So how was it?" you eagerly ask right away, not even bothering with a hello.

Bucky finds himself smiling at your voice, pausing on the sidewalk on the way back to his apartment, "Have you played Battleship before?"

Read chapter five here ~

taglist (let me know if you wish to be added!) : @vicmc624 @littleliyah16 @babezawa @klammykayla @justsebstan @blue--ingenue @numblytemporary @bradshawass @delicious-xx @mrsevans90 @heartarianagran @tinystarfishgalaxy @kyoquixote @mochibochinochi @spngingerbread21 @zbeez-outlet @rena15 @raging-panda @marveldaydreamer

Happy TTPD release day! I just knew The Bolter would be one of my favourites!!!

The final scene is in reference to the first episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Lil bit of a spoiler!!!! -- We'll see them all back together in the middle of that series.

There will only two-three more chapters of jumping back and forth in time. I'm also worried I'll confuse myself with the timeline. If the months/years aren't aligned with MCU canon, please ignore it.

Also - if not in the next one, then there will definitely be smut in chapter six. But with who???? Steve or Bucky? I'll let you guys speculate... 👀

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #mcu #chris evans #sebastian stan #captain america #the avengers #the bolter

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captainsophiestark · 1 month

Text

Hypocrite

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Requested by @flowers-and-fichte! Hope you enjoy, Novalis, and thanks for the request!

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Bucky's gotten close with Peggy's best friend, the two bonding over the reckless mavericks they both chose to care so much about. But Steve and Peggy aren't the only couple dancing around each other in this war.

Word Count: 1,396

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: I can't believe this is my first time writing for Bucky, lol. Most of the rest of the fandom has been here since Winter Soldier, but better late than never I guess!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I shook my head as I barely managed to put one foot in front of the other, heading through the front door of my favorite dive bar. The Howling Commandos and I had spent many a night here, toasting success or planning our next move, but tonight I was without the rest of my group.

Peggy Carter was going to well and truly kill me, and I needed a night to process that.

She'd been my best friend for just about as long as I could remember; we'd joined SOE together, and somehow managed to end up on General Philips' staff, two of the only women getting as close to combat as we did. We made an excellent team, and normally, I had no complaints. But sometimes she could just be so reckless, flying head first into insane danger, that my heart needed a break lest it burst on the spot.

Tonight had been no exception. Peggy and Steve Rogers, the one and only Captain America, had worked together on a Commandos mission just across enemy lines. We'd been successful, and the two of them together had made an incredible difference in the war effort, but damned if I didn't also rue the day they'd met.

I slumped into a stool at the bar, barely registering my surroundings until someone slid a glass of my favorite drink in front of me. I frowned at it, then turned to my left to see who exactly it had come from.

Sargeant Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers' best friend, stared back at me with a faint smile on his face. He looked almost as tired as I felt.

"You look like you could use this," he said. I huffed.

"Thanks. How'd you know what I liked?"

He just shrugged, his eyes never once leaving mine as I took a drink, the corner of his mouth gently tugging up.

"I usually pay attention to the drink orders of pretty girls."

I snorted so hard a bit of my drink came out of my nose. It burned like hell, so it took me a few moments to recover myself enough to meet Bucky's gaze again. He'd leaned forward a bit, one eyebrow raised, looking a bit concerned.

"You alright there, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, fine. Just wasn't expecting you to hit on me, especially with that lame ass pickup line."

"Lame?" Bucky asked, a hand flying to his heart in mock-outrage. "That hurts."

I just rolled my eyes. "Knock it off, Barnes. We've quite literally been through hell together, I think we're a little past you trying to get my number in a bar."

"Well then how would you suggest I get your number?"

I paused, drink halfway to my lips again, and cut my eyes towards Bucky to let him know how truly ridiculous I thought the question was.

"You already have my number. It's the same one for Peggy and all the Commandos, as long as we're all stationed at the same camp."

Bucky just stared at me for a long moment. I sipped my drink and set it back down on the bar before he finally spoke again.

"Shit."

"Yeah. Nice try though."

Bucky huffed a laugh and took a sip of his own drink, then turned back to me with renewed energy and a bright, charming smile. I held up a hand before he could launch into whatever he was planning to say next.

"Okay Buck, why don't you just tell me what this is about. Because I came in here exausted after dealing with our best friends, and I don't have the energy to coach your rusty ass on how to flirt, if that's what you're trying to practice."

Bucky cleared his throat, deflating a little, but not all the way. He sighed, then set his shoulders and met my stare again with a determined expression.

"Actually, I'm trying to ask you on a date."

I laughed, until I realized Bucky wasn't laughing.

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Very. Although you're really testing my resolve, since you've now laughed in my face twice. You know I used to be good at this before the war?"

I shook my head, a disbelieving smile subconsciously forcing its way onto my face.

"Bucky... I'm not saying no, but... I mean, why? Why me, why now? We've known each other and been working on missions since Steve got you out of that prison... what changed to make you think this was a good idea all of a sudden?"

He sighed heavily, the muscles in his jaw working as he apparently forced the words to come.

"I've been feeling like I wanted to ask you out since I saw you, honestly. But we were going to have to work together, and I think it's pretty clear I'm a little rusty. So I waited, and I was just starting to convince myself to wait all the way to the end of the war, until I tried to get Steve to ask Peggy on a date."

My eyebrows shot up. "You did? How did that go? Those two have been dancing around each other for way too long, I've been trying to tell Peggy the same thing-"

"Well, maybe between the two of us we can actually get them to take the leap. But I realized when I was talking to Steve that I can't expect him to take my advice when I won't take it myself. I'm turning into the biggest hypocrite in the world encouraging him to talk to Peggy while chickening out on talking to you. So... here we are."

"Here we are..." I repeated, my voice a little faint as the full weight of Bucky's confession sank in. He had feelings for me, and apparently had for a while now. And now he was asking me on a date, the fact that we were in the middle of a war be damned.

I grinned.

"Is that a good sign? That looks like a good sign, but now I'm not sure..."

"It's a great sign, Bucky," I said, meeting his eyes and feeling a spark of excitement in my chest. "I'm glad you decided to take your own advice."

"So that's a yes?"

"That's absolutely a yes." Bucky's shoulders finally relaxed, a smile appearing on his face to match my own. "So... when do we do this? Do we call tonight our first date? We're out together, the two of us, at a bar..."

"No. No way," Bucky quickly decided. I raised an eyebrow at him, so he continued. "Tonight's not a date, sweetheart. Even in the middle of a war, I can find a way to make our night on the town something special. A little magical, and definitely just about the two of us. Tonight might be just the two of us, but it's about the two reckless idiots we call friends."

I laughed, then reached for my drink and raised it towards Bucky.

"I'll toast to that. To taking tonight to cope with the people we care about, and putting something on the books for a real night out together soon."

"Hear hear."

Bucky and I shared a smile, then each took a drink. I finished mine off, then sat back in my chair and stared at the man before me.

"So... how do you feel about a game of darts? Person who's not throwing is allowed to distract the other person, but only by relating the most insane shit our friends have done lately. True stories only."

"Bring it on. I've known Steve long enough that nothing's gonna surprise me anymore."

I snorted as the two of us grabbed another round of drinks and headed for the dartboard at the back of the bar.

"Look, Peggy might've gone through a phase of trying to be a proper lady, but she's been making up for it by doing even more ridiculous nonsense lately. Your boy's got nothing on her."

"I guess we'll just have to see about that, won't we?"

Bucky and I shared another smile. The routine was familiar, but now, there was an extra spark attached that hadn't really been there before. Even though tonight wasn't a date, spending time with Bucky felt a little different, now, in a very good way.

Maybe this could be the silver lining I held on to the next time Peggy tried to kill me via heart attack, until the end of the war and beyond.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten @coinsublime

If your name is crossed out, Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you for some reason

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lives-in-midgard · 9 months

Text

The Story Of Us

(Musician AU Part 1)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: When your best friend Yelena convinced you to go to a blind date you were surprised when you saw a familiar face there.

Word Count: 1380

A/N: Hey everyone! This is the first part of Steve's Story in my musician AU. I hope you like it! The divider is made by @firefly-graphics.

Part 1 | Part 2

Masterlist | Musician AU

You don’t like first dates, especially blind dates. It’s been a while since you have been in a relationship, and you didn’t plan on going on a date very soon. But when your best friend Yelena who works at the bar you are currently in told she found the right guy for you, you couldn’t say no to her. You really couldn’t, Yelena wouldn’t accept a no. That’s why you were now sitting in the corner of Romanoff’s bar waiting for your date. You listened to the music and looked to Yelena. Suddenly you could see a guy with a cap walking up to her and she stopped what she was doing. Yelena greeted him and then they both looked at you. You couldn’t see his face because the cap and his glasses were covering his face but he kinda looked familiar to you. When he started to walk to you, you got more nervous and the more near he came the more familiar he looked. When he stood in front of your table, and you looked into his ocean blue eyes you immediately knew who he was.

It’s Steve Rogers

Your Steve

Your high school best friend Steve

The Steve you had a huge crush on

The Steve you left because you couldn’t see him with someone else anymore.

The Steve who is now in the famous band Midnight Rockers

Memories started to fill your head. Good memories but also sad ones. You and Steve. When you first met in high school, becoming best friends, laughing, and having so much fun together, him playing his first song to you. Steve was always by your side when you were feeling down. Steve telling you that he wants to make a band with his best friends Bucky and Sam, later they met Clint, and he became a band member too. And then something happened, and you started to get feelings for him. You studied the whole night together and then you ended up falling asleep on his shoulder.

But then one day Steve told you about his feelings for Peggy and asked for your help. You gave him advice and after a while they were a couple. They were very happy together, so you and Steve didn’t spend as much time together anymore. When Steve asked her out to prom right in front of you, you decided to go to another college than him. You couldn’t see them so happy together every day, it just made you so sad. Leaving Steve and the boys was one of the hardest decisions in your life. You told him that you would stay friends but after a while you didn’t text him anymore. It made you sad and Steve too. You listened to every song they put on YouTube and when a music producer found them, and they were selling their first album you couldn’t be happier for them. You never stopped following his music career and were very proud of how far he has come. On some days you thought about calling him and telling him how proud you are of him and that you missed him. But you were too afraid, so you never called him and just admired his music from a far. What you didn’t know was how sad, and hurt Steve felt when you left. He wrote songs about you and when they got popular, they even released it.

It was such a long time since you saw him in person and now, he was suddenly standing right in front of you, looking at you with his beautiful eyes.

“Steve?” You said in the exact same time as he said your name. You began to blush and then also started to wonder how Yelena knew him.

“Can I sit down?” He asked you. You weren’t sure if it is a good idea, but you were also happy to see him again. You have been thinking and daydreaming about this moment for a long time and now it’s here. Maybe it’s a sign you thought.

“Sure.” You said with a shaky voice, and he sat down on the chair on the other side of the table.

“I can leave if you don’t want me to stay.” Steve softly said and took of his glasses that were only there so he won’t get recognized from fans or other people who could know him from his band.

“No, it’s just I…I wasn’t expecting you.” Steve scratched his neck and then began to talk.

“I’m sorry, I also had no idea that you’re the one Yelena said I should meet.”

“How do you know Yelena?” You asked.

“Her sister Natasha is a good friend of mine.” You nodded.

“Maybe, it’s better if I leave.” Steve suddenly said and wanted to stand up.

“No, wait. Maybe we could talk, only if you want of course.” Steve sat back down, and you continued.

“There were so many times when I thought of calling or texting you.”

“You did?” Steve asked and you nodded.

“Me too. I missed you so much there were so many things that I wanted to tell you, especially when we made our first album that time was really crazy.” You could see a sad look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry that we lost contact.” You said and felt really sorry but back then it felt like the right thing to do.

“Hey, it’s okay. You probably had a lot to do at college and stuff.” Steve guessed and you nodded. It was right you had a lot to do but someday you felt so alone but decided to not call him.

“So, what did I miss all those years?” Steve asked and you chuckled. Then you told him almost everything he missed. Steve listened interested and asked a lot questions. Of course, you also asked him some questions. You laughed, talked and talked. You two had such a good time that you didn’t even recognize how late it got. Suddenly you realized the song that was played in the background and began to smile. It was the song Steve and you always listened while learning for school. Steve chuckled and then began to sing along to it, and you hid your face with your hands.

“Come sing with me. “When you put your hands away you saw Steve singing with a smile. You were to shy to sing in front of him especially now that he is a professional singer.

“I’m not a good singer, Steve.”

“That’s not important we’re just having fun.” Steve softly said and you were about to start when the music suddenly stopped.

“But next time you sing with me, okay?” You nodded and after a while you looked around you and saw that only a few people were there anymore. You saw Yelena grinning at you from the bar. You looked at your clock and saw that it was already late. You and Steve both decided that it was time to leave. Steve walked over to the bar and paid for the both of you. You said that he didn’t have to, but he insisted in it. Steve walked you to your car and when it was time to say goodbye you didn’t want this to end.

“I’m glad Yelena told you to come. It was nice to see you again.” You smiled and Steve smiled back.

“Me too and I promise this time we won’t lose each other again.” Steve then asked for your phone number and told you to text him when you are home safe. Before leaving you gave him a quick hug and then opened the door to your car.

When you got home you texted Steve. After a few minutes he texted back:

“I’m glad you’re home safe. Goodnight, sweet dreams.”

You smiled to yourself and were happy to have him back in your life. When you were in bed you noticed that you didn’t talk about if it was a date or not. Probably not you thought, it would be better to just stay friends. Or you hoped that you could because if he is as cute as back in high school then you would have no chance in not falling in love with him.

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hannibals-favourite-meal · 1 year

Text

Take A Fucking Hint

Steve Rogers x plus size reader

Steve is incredibly oblivious to the big hints that his girlfriend drops whenever they kiss and it takes his best friends knocking some sense into him for him to get it.

Warnings: implied smut, fluff, Steve is a naive baby, lots of kissing

WC: 1.5k

Minors DNI

Steve Rogers had his first kiss in 1931. It had been his 13th birthday and for the life of him, he couldn’t remember the girl’s name. But when the fireworks went off, she shyly asked him if he would like a kiss in lieu of a birthday gift. Her lips were chapped and tasted like the cotton candy she had just eaten, it was barely even a peck but Steve thought it was magical.

The next time Steve kissed someone was right above Howard Stark’s lab with an officer who yanked him into a corner, eager to have her way with him. The kiss was tinged with a lust he couldn’t comprehend. He didn’t hate it but he also didn’t like it, it felt wrong to him. A kiss should be an expression of love, he thought, not some desire for someone based only on their body.

Peggy Carter kissed him next. It was in the middle of a battle as they chased down a plane loaded with bombs. It was fuelled with adrenaline and desperation, like they knew they would never see each other again.

Natasha Romanoff was his next kiss. She teased him relentlessly about it. It was sloppy and unpracticed and very weird considering he thought of the former assassin as a sister. Then, it was Peggy’s great niece Sharon.

But nothing compared to the way you kissed him. You kissed Steve like it was the only thing keeping you alive. You hadn’t been together long, just two months but it was more than enough time for him to fall utterly in love with you. You taught him how to love, how to ask for affection and attention.

But mainly, you taught him how to kiss. Quick pecks when you woke up, both of you still half asleep and with morning breath. Affectionate, have a good day kisses when you left for work. ‘I’m glad you’re alive’ kisses when he returned from missions. And finally, his favourite ones; the ‘I need to feel your body against mine right now’, when your tongues tangled, your breath mingled together as you tried to swallow each other whole, but those always ended as quickly as they started.

You were at the compound with him today, Tony needed your help with engineering a new AI system for the jet. “I don’t know when we’ll finish up tonight so how about you come steal me away for lunch today?” Your hands tugged on the labels of his leather jacket, pulling his body closer to your own. Steve smiled wildly as he looked down at you, so utterly enamoured by your presence.

“Now that is the best idea I’ve heard today.” His hands hovered over your wide hips, not yet touching you. He still struggled with PDA, especially when he was so conflicted as to whether he deserved your touch and wanted to throw you down and have his way with you constantly. Your arms moved up his strong chest to wrap around his neck.

Your eyes were hooded, heavy with desire that sent a shiver through him. “Well then Cap, how about you reward me for having such a good idea.” His lips met your with a practiced ease, a warm feeling filling his gut. Your lips felt like coming home, like a safe place where he could just be. He tilted his head, eager to deepen the kiss.

You moaned into his mouth, your grip on him tightening as the air ignited with a white hot passion. “Hey suckerfish! Break it up! I need my assistant to actually be able to breathe without a geriatric man sucking on her face.” Steve groaned as you pulled away to glare at the billionaire. Tony stood several feet away with his arms crossed over his chest like a disappointed father.

“First off Stark, I am not your assistant. Second, I will kiss my insanely hot boyfriend whenever I want as is my right.” Steve chuckled, pressing one last kiss to your forehead before stepping back and giving you a gentle shove towards the lab doors.

You looked at him clearly offended. “I’ll find you for lunch. Try not to kill Tony.”

“I’ll kill him if I wanna kill him.” You muttered but walked away anyway, the cutest frown on your face. He chuckled and turned as the doors slid closed behind you, and came face to face with a smug looking Bucky and a disgusted Sam.

“You two are nasty. Why don’t you just fuck at home before work like normal people.” Steve’s face went beat red at Sam’s comment. Bucky guffawed, shoving him with his shoulder.

“Don’t you know they haven’t done the deed yet. Apparently, they’re ‘taking it slow’. Which is just code for Steve has a girlfriend way out of his league and he doesn’t know how to handle it.”

“Hey!” He objected. “That is our business, not yours. Besides, how do you know we haven’t.” Bucky rolled his eyes at his best friend’s childish retort.

He clapped a hand against Steve’s shoulder. “Oh you poor dumb man, it is incredibly obvious.” Sam joined him on his other side, taking his other shoulder.

“We have so much to teach you.” They guided him away from the lab, intending on educating their lost friend.

——————

Steve felt like he was in sex ed again, except this was so much worse. They were in one of the many conference rooms on the compound, a white board had been dragged in from a storage room and was now covered in crude drawings that were borderline lewd.

“Now that we have the basics down, you need to understand the nuances of women’s hints.” Sam started but Steve sighed, resting his head in his hands.

“She would have told me if she wanted to have… sex. And she hasn’t so I haven’t gone any further than kissing.” Both men groaned in aggravation. They had been at this for an hour now, trying to get it into Steve’s head that you just wanted to get laid but he wasn’t listening.

“All right, look. What does she do every time you kiss?” The office chair creaked as Steve leaned back in it. His hand scrubbed down his jaw, running over the smooth skin.

“She always pulls me closer to her like she doesn’t want me running away and then puts her arms around my neck.” Bucky nodded thoughtfully, a slightly proud glint in his grey eyes.

“Just as I thought.” Sam muttered, taking a seat right in front of the Captain. “When a woman or whoever does that with the person they are kissing, it’s a signal for the other person to touch them.” Steve’s head tilted questioningly.

“But I do touch her.”

“Yes but how?” Bucky picked up where Sam left off. “Just her hips?” Steve gave a curt nod. “Ok, next time she kisses you, hold her by the small of her back, or even better, one hand at the base of her neck and the other on her ass. Just trust me.” He patted Steve’s back and walked out of the room like he had just told him the meaning of like.

Sam scoffed but followed him out, yelling down the hall about how much of a drama queen he was being. Bucky retorted but Steve was too lost in his thoughts to consciously hear what they were saying to each other. Maybe he should try it.

——————

As usual with your ‘lunch breaks’ with Steve, he had dragged you into an empty office to make out for a while before you both had to get back to work. And as usual, your arms were around his neck, fingers buried in his short blonde hair as he lightly gripped your hips.

You could live in Steve’s lips. They were always so soft, like he was constantly using chapstick. He tasted like coffee and jam pastries. You let him guide your chin upwards so he could kiss along your soft jaw. But then, he did something new.

His hands moved slowly to the base of your spine, his warm touch making goosebumps erupt all over your body. You moaned quietly into the still air of the office, the sound barely covered by the hum of the air conditioner.

Apparently the noises you were making gave him an ego boost because suddenly he was holding the back of your neck tightly, keeping your head still as he took what he wanted from you. “Steve!” You gasped and felt him smirk against the skin of your throat. His other hand was placed firmly on your plump ass, something he never dared to try.

Your body thrummed with an arousal you had never felt before. This was an entirely new Steve and you were loving it. “What’s gotten into you, Stevie?” You asked breathlessly. His head lifted from where he had been nibbling on your collarbone, his blue eyes black with desire.

“I learned how to take a hint.” Safe to say that lunch went well into the night.

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honeycombclaire · 1 month

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You know what I need? I need the Marvel time-travel trope, but everyone goes back to the 40s.

(I say everyone, I mean the Avengers pre-Infinity War.)

Because everyone says Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are men out of time (and they’re not technically wrong). But I want to see the Avengers (sans Steve and Bucky) getting sent back in time by some wizard or a freak Asgardian lightning storm or something, and poof, they’re back in the 40s, right smack in the middle of the war.

I want the Avengers to witness what life was like during the war, hiding in bomb shelters and seeing the after effects of the world crawling out of the Great Depression and hurtling into the second World War in twenty years.

Life when Steve really was the weirdest thing science ever created. When he was desperately needed and internationally adored. Because all of the Avengers have PTSD, but Steve and Bucky went through World War II and got spit back out into the 20th and 21st centuries, and that’s a whole different category of PTSD and trauma.

I want the Avengers to actually meet the survivors of Azzano, when Steve marched into the massive Nazi base and saved hundreds of soldiers, part because he could and part because he was desperate to save his best friend, and didn’t think twice about it.

I want the Avengers to see Steve and Bucky thrive. I want them to witness Steve and Bucky with the Howling Commandos. Steve’s first team. I want them to see how Steve and Bucky lived, what life was like, because it was drastically different than the modern world.

I want the Avengers to witness firsthand life on a military base. I want Tony to have to look his father in the eye and pretend he doesn’t know who he is, but get to see all the good his father did because all he remembers is his father being an asshole. How much Steve really did care about Howard (and that Bucky did, too, because Howard made weapons to keep Steve safe).

I want Natasha to see that just because she’s an assassin doesn’t mean she’s a bad person, because there were hundreds of military assassins and spies during the war that did bad things to get information.

I want them to hear about the Tesseract and learn that sometimes Steve’s intelligence should be taken seriously, because he has experience and knowledge that none of the other Avengers will ever have. (“You should have left it in the water.” “This is the guy my dad never shut up about?”)

I want them to see how much Steve loved Peggy, how she and Bucky were the only ones who saw him for who he really was, and realize how awful it must have been for him to come back and work for the organization she created after his death and have to live without her.

I want them to hide and watch as Past Steve screams as Past Bucky falls from the train. I want them to see Past Steve realize he can’t get drunk, and the only way he can cope is to kill the Red Skull and end HYDRA. To avenge his friend. I want them to realize that not only did Past Steve crash the plane for nothing, but that Steve knows, has to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life.

I want them to listen with Peggy as Past Steve realizes he’s going to have to crash the plane. I want them to hear the slight tremble in Past Steve’s voice as he talks about dancing with Peggy, believing he’ll never get the chance, and that he’s going to die alone in the freezing cold ocean. I want them to not get the change to promise him that he’ll survive. I want them to hear the sudden static that cuts off Past Steve’s voice, and the heavy silence that comes after it.

I want them to see the world mourn for Captain America, who died just months before the war ended.

And then I want them to come back to the 21st century and see. I want them to see the way Steve’s eyes linger on pictures of Peggy and Howard, see the rows of records from the 30s and 40s in a whole new light, see rows of 30s-style clothes in his closet that he hardly ever wears because a lot of people will make jabs about it, see the way he always keeps Bucky in his sight, hugs him just a little bit tighter than he hugs everyone else.

I want them to see the bags under his and Bucky’s eyes when they have nightmares. I want Sam to quietly show them Steve’s list, and see that every line on every page is filled because he missed so much. I want them to find two more little books filled up just as much. I want them to realize how lost Steve still is despite how much he’s adapted.

I want them to see the subtle military training still ingrained in Steve’s bones, because any and every war was horrible, but World War II was something else entirely, and so was desperation that existed within the soldiers and the people. I want them to see Steve’s recklessness of jumping out of planes without a parachute, the way his eyes always scan the area when he enters a room, watching ever little detail and listening for any sound that might indicate danger. How he is always, always, on alert, even when he seems relaxed.

I want them to understand why Steve was so against the Sokovia Accords. It wasn’t because he wanted the power to do what he thought was best; it was because he was afraid of the consequences of having too many restrictions. Because even with international laws and the damn Geneva Convention, the Nazis still destroyed half the world, and decades later Nazi HYDRA was still carrying out their mission that Steve sacrificed his life for. Steve was a human experiment. The Serum was a biochemical weapon. The military broke the rules to protect the greater good, and Steve knew that. The war would have gone very differently without him.

Whether he was right or wrong about the Accords, after what Steve experienced, I want the Avengers finally understand where he was coming from. Why he was so afraid of strict regulations.

I want Tony to finally fully understand the significance of Steve giving up his shield in Siberia.

Why he was so determined to protect Bucky from the world. Not just because he was his best friend, or because it was the right thing to do. But also because Bucky was the only thing Steve physically had left of his life before the crash, save for his dog tags, and he was scared of what that would mean if Steve lost him.

Steve Rogers has so much trauma that Marvel completely ignored. They focused on Tony’s and Bucky’s and Natasha’s trauma; and that’s great, that’s important; but so much of Steve’s moral character doesn’t get explained because it gets glossed over with the excuse that he’s “Mr Good and Righteous.” And that’s true, but that’s just scratching the surface.

He’s Mr. Good and Righteous for a reason, and it doesn’t get talked about enough.

#steve rogers #the avengers #marvel #mcu #bucky barnes #don’t come at me steve did crappy things during civil war #but so did everyone else #it’s about time marvel start recognizing Steve’s trauma is so much more than PTSD #that’s my point here

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