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#but not plain ass white bread
dragonheart1330 · 1 month
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Desperately trying to convince my friend that a slice of plain, white, store bought bread is simply inferior
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krash-8 · 5 months
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my heart aches yes but also my tummy
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shiningclown69 · 1 year
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While Brandon is prob the better person to be leader within the specialists
I think Sky should remain leader purely so that Brandon can be the sexy side-piece character thats WAYY better than the main character
Like smth about going "woahh omg (points to someone in the background) that guy is way better" and "mOVE, you're blocking the view" is v funny to me
Is it bc it seems like it would spite/annoy Sky? Maybe.
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rppik · 17 days
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J: Going to kill the host (/joke) because scrolling through @/smash-or-pass-objects at the previous polls she voted in, I keep having the opposite responses to her smashes/passes
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ventique18 · 1 year
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I just had a big brain moment..!
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Malleus' preferred furnishing styles are stylish and basic. Stylish is pretty obvious because most of them are black and green,
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but basic? Wouldn't elegant themes better suit him, given that the Thorn Fairy is known for her elegance aside from her power? And he's a prince; wouldn't he prefer elaborately prepared pastry over a slice of plain white bread?
Well,
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That's because Ramshackle items are labeled basic. He prefers basic themes simply because it's what makes Ramshackle, Ramshackle.
He likes that plain ass bread simply because it's associated with you.
(God I love it when they insert tiny MalleYuu easter eggs like this lol)
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punkitt-is-here · 10 months
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as a "fancy" trans person (bigender) im going to say it is flat out disrespectful of people to say you're "boring" for being a trans woman. trans women have done so fucking much for the lgbt community, which these people love to forget and then treat you all like garbage. its rude and these people need to grow up. being a woman is not boring.
being a plain ass white bread woman OWNS. they are forgetting the extra spice modifier which is that I'm in the weird girl subclass, which instantly improves my stats in entertainment.
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lolasimms · 1 year
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lazy sundays
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Summary: Your wife has an affinity for all things orderly, neat and precise. You on the other hand are the complete opposite. To her Sundays are for productivity, but you have other ideas.
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When you walked into the kitchen, your wife was already seated at the table eating her very practical breakfast. She was a very particular person. As always, her black coffee was to her right, served in a plain, white mug. A cup of water sat to her left.
Next to the water was a plate of plain, buttered toast, and beside her coffee was a small container of greek yogurt. A mostly eaten grapefruit sat unfinished in a bowl in front of her with a jagged, spiked spoon next to it. Her precise meal was part of what she insisted kept her body in shape. To her breakfast was simple, she'd spend the rest of the day pumping her body full of protein anyways.
She didn't hear you come into the room. Her tablet was propped up on its stand, and she was scrolling through a patient assessment from the hospital in between bites of bitter fruit and strong coffee. Walking up behind her, you tousled her wet hair as you passed by her, disrupting the smooth style.
You yawned on your way to the coffeemaker and pulled your favorite mug out of the cabinet above. You set the giant, mug etched with Moroccan patterns, down a little too loudly, earning your wife's attention.
"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," she teased, pushing her hair back into place. "Sleep well?"
You grunted and poured a glug of vanilla syrup into your coffee before returning the bottle back to the pantry and kicking it closed. You grunted at her, not ready to speak yet. Coffee first. Glaring at her from behind your mug, you took a long sip of coffee out of the mug. You tipped the mug up, flashing her your middle finger.
Your hair was a mess, and your eyes were still tired. You'd thrown on an oversized, ratty t-shirt with holes around the collar, worn thin from years of use. You padded back over to her in your fluffy slippers and bent to give her a kiss. While your lips met hers, you reached over and took her tablet, taking it with you as you returned to your seat.
"No work on Sundays."
Abby gave you a half hearted scowl while leaning back in her chair and folding her arms across her chest as if she was going to challenge you, but then thought better of it. "So," she asked with a smirk, "Are you going to eat breakfast today or just over-caffeinate?" 
You tucked your leg under you and sat down before taking another pointed sip of coffee just to flash her with another flick of your middle finger. "I haven't decided yet."
Abby hummed and pushed the plate of toast across the table to you. "Eat." The two pieces of bread were toasted to your exact specifications: lightly browned and slathered in butter with each piece being cut into four sharp little triangles.
"Wow. Toast." You teased, opening your mouth wide and shoveling in a toast point. Your cheeks bulged as you chewed, and she shook her head at you. "You shouldn't have gone through the trouble, babe." Crumbs fell onto your shirt when you spoke with your mouth full, and you brushed them onto the floor.
Your wife was ever amused by your carefree nature - whatever that meant. She thought you played too loosey-goosey with life, and you thought she had a stick up her ass at least 90% of the time. Her proposal had possibly been the most unromantic experience of your life and could have only been worse if she had presented you with a prenup attached to the ring. But still, you'd jumped up and down with your hands over your mouth, screaming your acceptance before pouncing on her for a kiss. You'd knocked the ring out of her hand, and you cried for fifteen minutes straight in the middle of the park where you had met while she searched the grass. Of course, when she found it and slid it on your finger, you started crying all over again and subjecting poor Abby to the accusing eyes of anyone who passed by.
"What's the plan for today mommy?" You wiggled from side-to-side in your chair doing your happy dance while you ate the rest of your toast.
Abby looked very satisfied with herself when she told you that she had already done everything on her to do list. "I went for to the gym, showered, called dad, put in a grocery order, did a little work, and had breakfast."
You glowered at her and shoved another toast point into your mouth to keep from telling her to shove her over-efficiency up her nicely rounded ass.
"What about you, darling?"
Shrugging, you chased your food down with a couple sips of coffee and dusted your fingers off over your plate. "Same shit I do every Sunday." You felt her eyes on you when you hopped out of your seat and set your plate in the sink before returning to the table and clearing her away.
"So nothing?"
You smiled while you rinsed the dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher. You didn't need to see her to know that she was still leaned back in her chair, legs fully extended and crossed under the table, arms folded across her chest, left eyebrow raised with her blue eyes sparkling as she spewed what she considered to be impugnable sarcastic wit.
You closed the dishwasher and hit it with your hip to make sure the latch caught. Abby was sitting exactly as you expected her to, and you cocked your head to the side as you drank her in. Her honey coloured hair damp, as it rested against her Henley top. Pink lips soft as ever and arms looking so delectable you thought you'd combust right there.
"Mostly, yes." Your hand was on your hip as you leaned against the counter.
She hummed at you as she left her seat to retrieve her tablet. "Well, if you have nothing planned, I'm going to keep working." As she passed you, she dropped a sweet kiss on your lips before refilling her coffee before retiring to the living room.
Trailing behind her, you grabbed your phone from the charger in the beroom and took a seat across from her in the armchair that faced the couch. You scrolled through social media mindlessly, liking and hearting, chuckling at memes, and quickly becoming bored. Putting your phone down, you leaned your head in your hands and sighed heavily. Abby glanced up from her work, saw you were fine - just over dramatic - and went back to working.
It was hard to get over how hot she was, and you loved looking at her. You did it often - just sitting and looking at her. Every piece of her was perfect. You loved her toned legs and how long they were and how strong she was. Her pants always hung low on her hips, held up by the most adorable ass you had ever seen. It was perfect for squeezing and making her yelp when you bit it. An accidental little moan slipped out when you thought about the last time you'd gotten your hands on her. Abby's hands stilled and her eyes snapped to yours. The look she gave you confirmed she knew you were perving on her.
"Stop ogling me."
You groaned and slumped in your chair. "Ugh, but I can't help it." You dropped your head back and complained to the ceiling. "You don't understand," you whined. "You're just so fine. I can't help it."
Abby deadpanned. "You'll live." And then she went right back to working.
You snapped back up in your seat and glared at her, testing her to see if she would break first but knowing full well that it would be you. Her eyes were on the tablet, but her hands were idle, and she was having trouble keeping her amused smirk at bay. That little upwards tug of her lips might as well have been an invitation. Crawling out of your chair, you padded over to her. You stood next to the couch, hands clasped demurely in front of you as you waited for her attention.
Your doting wife continued to pretend to ignore you. She continued to work, forcing herself to keep her eyes on the tablet and not you. If she did, the game would be over, and what would be the fun in that? Wiggling your fingers greedily as you reached for the table, you plucked it out of her hand and tossed it onto the coffee table.
"You're an ass. You know that right?" Taking her hands, you opened her arms and crawled into her embrace. You settled onto her lap, rocking your hips against her with a coy smile. Abby hummed deep in her chest when you kissed her chastely. It was the sweetest whisper of a kiss with your hands on either side of her face.
"And you're needy." Abby's hands slipped under your shirt. She leaned into you, asking for another kiss. You gave it to her, and she took more than you were giving. She nipped at your lip and tugged your mouth back to hers. You moaned into her mouth, and she swept it away with tongue. She tasted bitter - like coffee and grapefruit - but she felt good.
Underneath the hem of your shirt, she pawed at your bottom, kneading your ass while she guided you to rock back and forth on her lap. You felt her crotch as she ground it up against you; you were greedy for her - just the hint of her arousal making you clench around nothing. Hands wandering from her broad shoulders to her hair, you sank your fingers into the gorgeous strands you were obsessed with, grabbing it at the root and making her seeth. You broke the kiss and pulled her head back, holding yourself just out of range.
Abby bared her teeth at you and tried to nip at your neck, but your hand in her hair acted as an anchor and kept her at bay. Rising up on your knees, you held your lips just shy of her, close enough to feel your warm breath drift across her lips but far enough away that she couldn't steal a kiss. You basked in the power of depriving her of what she wanted - consequences be damned. Teasing her with a little taste, you licked her lips playfully. Abby immediately tried to snap her teeth at you, but she was too slow to catch you.
"Come on, wife. Let me go." She wasn't asking. It was an order presented as a choice. Her hands were starting to roam your body, skimming up and down your sides, ghosting your skin with her fingers. The featherlight touches erupted goosebumps on your skin and sent your shivering as an excited chill ran through your body. She knew exactly where to touch without even having to look at you.
When her hands brushed the bottom of your breast, you tugged her hair back farther in warning.
"Are you looking for trouble, baby?" Her voice was low, and her eyes sparked trouble. You knew that tone well, and you loved what came along with it.
You nodded deviously and licked the side of her face, disappointed when she didn't react. You had at least expected her to look surprised.
"I warned you once," she said. "Let go."
You shook your head from side to side. You weren't giving up your power - even if it was just an illusion.
"Remember, you did this to yourself." was as much of a warning as you got. Abby pinched your nipple hard, making you buck against her. Your grip in her hair loosened for just a moment, but that was all that she needed to pull herself out of your grasp. She moved quickly, grabbing your wrists and forcing them behind your back. The position pushed your back into an arch and put your breasts in her face. Your nipples were hard peaks, and you looked on nervously while she rubbed her lips over them.
"Are you going to be good?" She sucked your nipple through the shirt, and you tried to pull your hands free. She looked up at you with her mouth on your breast. The fabric of your shirt was starting to darken, wet with her spit.
You whined, trying to wiggle out of her hold while still keeping her mouth on you. Abby held your wrists tightly and snickered at your helplessness. She moved to your other breast and repeated the same torture. She teased you, switching back and forth between them until her plan backfired and she ran out of patience.
She looked at you desperately, undecided. Her choices were either to let you go and touch more of you and risk your impertinence or leave you restrained and her choices limited.
You took advantage of her frustration and ground yourself against her clothed-cunt. You knew you were soaked and probably had left a wet spot on her grey sweat shorts where you had been rocking against her.
Still, Abby held your arms behind you and held you hostage on her lap.
"You could just let me go, darling." You teased her, doing a fair impression of her voice.
"But I don't trust you" she copied yours, and you scoffed.
"I don't sound like that," you argued. At this point it didn't matter if your arms were behind your back or not. Your bratty attitude didn't require the use of your hands.
Abby's eyebrow went up and gave you a stern look. Her beautiful eyes were framed with the most delicate blonde lashes. Even when she was trying to look angry, you found her face sweet. She was far too serious in everything she did, and you loved her for it. Just thinking about how much you loved her made your heart swell, and you knew the moment that she saw how deeply you felt for her written across your face.
Abby released her grip on you and let your arms free. Immediately, you lifted your shirt over your head and let it hit the floor. Abby watched you silently as you crawled off her lap and stood to remove your underwear.  You smiled sheepishly as it slid down your leg, and you kicked it away. She always looked at you like you were beautiful, and you still weren't used to being so thoroughly adored.
You held your hand out for her to take. "I'm going back to bed. Do you want to come?"
Abby snickered and took your hand as she stood up. "Pun intended, darling? She tugged your hand and led you to the bedroom while you rolled your eyes at the terrible joke. You hopped onto the bed, bouncing on your knees while she undressed and squealing when she grabbed reached into the draw for her strap, quickly putting it on and then you turning you around by the waist and crawled on top of you.
She kissed you without a word, nudging your legs open with her knees and sliding between them. Her arms caged you in on either side of your head, and you snaked your arms around her neck and begged for a kiss. Abby wasted no time in giving you what you wanted. Her lips were soft and pink, and you lost yourself in how she made you feel. Eyes closed, you sighed happily as she kissed you until you were dizzy and obsessed with what her mouth and tongue were doing.
Her strap was sliding back and forth against your slit, your slick wetting the pink piece of rubber. Abby bucked causing you to moan, positioning herself at your entrance. You lifted your head to ask for another kiss, while she guided the tip of the strap into you. While she slanted her lips back over yours, you smiled into the kiss. Your mouth went slack as she pushed into you; the slow burn muddling your brain. Abby's lips moved to your jaw and your neck and your ear. Her mouth was everywhere she could reach as she moved your hand out from between your bodies and fully sank into you.
Arching against her, your body pressed against hers and your limbs folded around her. You clung to her, draping your arms around her neck and wrapping your legs around her waist. Abby settled her body weight on top of you and slowly began to move, dragging out your pleasure with long strokes and slow pushes into you. Your need was building. Each time she pulled back, she left just enough inside you to make you clench around her, desperate to stay with her.
"More. Please, Abs. More. You're torturing me." You whispered your plea against her neck, kissing the secret spot under her ear that only you knew about. Your teeth grazed against her skin. You nipped the same spot, and she growled at you and snapped her hips against yours.
Her name fell out of your mouth on a curse, and you sucked the same spot into your mouth, lathing your tongue over it before sucking at it again. You worked the spot, not stopping until you had marked her.
You begged her again for more. She was too soft, too gentle, and you needed more . You were so close and you just needed a little more.
Abby lifted her head and rose back up on her knees. She looked at you greedily. She gripped your thighs and hauled you roughly against her. You back arched and you called out when she bottomed out in you.
"Harder. Please. Fuck me harder. Please." Your hands grabbed at your breasts and pinched your nipples. You were ready to come. "Let me come on your cock, please please please." you whined and pleaded while she slammed her hips against yours and gave you exactly what you had asked for.
Abby sucked her thumb into her mouth to wet it before dropping it to your clit. You continued to beg for more while she rubbed you. Her fingers and strap were pushing you towards ecstasy. Your body clenched around her. 
"Come."
With one word, the need in you snapped, and your orgasm hit you.
Out of breath and exhausted, she pulled out and flopped down onto the bed beside you, immediately pulling you to her and kissing your forehead. She took a deep breath, holding it for a moment before letting it whoosh out all at once.
Resting your head on her chest, you patted her chest contentedly. "I told you Sundays were for staying in bed."
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saliosis · 8 months
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your subway order total is $19.21
(extra notes below)
ok, so here's the deal with the slight design change! (i swear, it's cool)
i wanted to make chuck latino because i joked about it once (w/ fred stoller being on handy manny saying "my amigos 😆" and then saying his colors look like the flag of colombia 💀) but it stuck for some reason. to me, it works PERFECTLY.... if becky can be an alien who is
"ambiguously brown"
then why can't a sandwich person like chuck also be brown, yknow 🔥⁉️
(help i keep accidentally latinoifying wg characters--)
chuck? nah. he is now, officially
chuck el sandwichero perverso 🥪🇨🇴‼️🔥
(as they call him in the spanish dub aka chica supersabia)
for starters, i wanted to experiment with changing the type of bread he's based on. i can assume chuck is based on the classic sandwich made up of white bread (...💀) so i wanted to change it up for latino chuck.... yknow... yknow.... yknow.... 🕴️
i'm also just not a fan of plain white bread 🤕 LMFKAJDKSN
i had a couple of options to chose from so i can upgrade his sandwichness™ 💭 but i decided to settle onnnnnnn..........................
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funky multigrain bread!! my favorite 🥄🥄‼️ anytime i make a sandwich, i usually reach for this bread... (and when i say "anytime" i mean the times i'm extra and watch a chuck episode while eating a sandwich 💀💀)
i like the idea of chuck having seeds and grains on his face... think of it like moles, freckles, or even acne scars if you will 🤷‍♂️ brent straight-up has seeds on him that represent freckles so why not, right⁉️ we can get creative here w/ it!!
plus- he's so much more bread-like this way
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above is a fast doodle, but it is what i ended up sticking with for my design. if you see in the final drawing, i did shift around with some of his costume colors to make it work with the bread type-colors!!
i imagine brent being a variation of bread that looks similar to chuck. that way chuck can be multigrain bread and brent can be another type.
parent who is multigrain bread + parent who is another type of bread = two siblings, each being one of two options of bread because of genes™ (wow. sandwich person science 😍😍🥪🧬 /s)
my two options for brent's bread type? because i will probably never draw that man? either molasses bread (left) or even dark rye (right)?? but i lean towards dark rye brent because that idea seems so scrumptious to me
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ngl i have never been too sure what type of bread brent is based on......
the wiki doesn't really help me decide. he has freckles that seem to be like seeds, so that means he's a type of bread that has seeds. but also, not that many seeds.... which is likely an animation thing since animating all those damn seeds must be hard. but idk? but his skin tone is very slightly darker than chuck so that makes me think he isn't white bread based™ (help what am i talking about)
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if any bread experts™ out there have some guesses, let me know so we can talk about that more. for some reason, this is really fascinating.
anyways.... latino brent can be real too 🤷‍♂️
um...............
brent 😍🥪🇨🇴🔥‼️
(because i swear to god they just call him brent in the spanish dub instead of his long ass name)
but yeah 👍 that's my little hc-chuck related ramble. i may not talk about him, but i really fuckin love chuck 😭
............ .. . . . ... . .... . .. . ...... . .. ...... ....... .. .. .. .....typing this out has made me realize how much thought, effort, and research i have done all because of a joke i made. a joke i made about a cartoon character from a kids show where we haven't gotten new content in years. and that it's likely that i'm the only person thinking so deeply about a family of sandwiches--
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akwolfgrl · 6 months
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Part 3! LFT We have some jelly zoro with us today. Not sure abut how I worte Nami and Ussop any feedback is welcome
Zoro watched as Sanji flitted about, graceful in his movements as he plated everyone's dinners. Luffy was already inhaling the leg of lamb beside him. A large plate of sliced bread with a bowl in the middle was placed in the center of the table and soon came the bowls brimming with seafood, muscles, clams, shrimp and fish in a reddish orange broth. A second bowl of plain white rice was placed in front of him. Zoro hides a smirk, looks like someone had time to read this past hour.
"Dessert is in the oven rising, it will be out shortly so please no yelling," Curly brows shot him a pointed look before his cheeks turned red and he had to hide his face. "What can I get everyone to drink?"
"Wine would be lovely," Nami said with a smile, that witch would use anyone until they had nothing left to give.
"Of course Nami-swan! I'll fetch it right away! The love sick fool gushed, Zoro swore he saw hearts in his eyes.
"Sake," He ordered gruffly scowling. "Or is that too much for you to handle," Zoro didn't like the fact that the man he had in lap just an hour ago, the man who made such erotic noises would pay so much attention to some else and a woman at that.
"Burte you're lucky I have soufflés in the oven," The blond turned his attention back to where it belonged, the marks Zoro had left on his pale skin still there.
Zoro couldn't resist the smirk that graced his face. He shouldn't be jealous of Nami. They weren't in a relationship, not even a sexual one…well not yet anyway. But that would be fixed tonight, Zoro needed more of the man in front of him.
"A nice dry white wine pairs best with the Bouillabaisse," Cook placed a glass of wine in front of Nami before serving Usopp and Luffy saving him for last. "Here's your sake marimo," Sanji held out a bottle of sake for him to take.
"Finally," Zoro deliberately brushed his fingers against Sanjis causing him to blush. He was easy to tease when he was like this, tonight was going to be fun.
After everyone ate their fill, the food had been as good as had tasted when he had kissed the cook earlier, Sanji went back to the oven. Zoro sat back and enjoyed the view, those fancy pants of his hugged every inch and curve of the cook's shapely ass and thick muscular thighs.
"Oi cook can you crush a watermelon with those thighs," Zoro had to know, he was certain he could.
"What!" He shot up the pan in his hands tilting dangerously. "Why would you ask that!" Zoro could see the back of the blonde's neck and the tips of his ears were bright red and waited to see how red and flushed his face was.
"Oooo!! That would be so cool!" Luffy of course was all for it, for very different reasons of course.
"Is that even possible?" Name asked.
"It would be a waste of food and I will not be wasting any food!" The cook spoke his voice raising in pitch, almost yelling as he turned around his face red as Zoro had hoped. I'm his arms was a tray with three brown fluffy desserts and one yellow one. He placed the brown ones in front of the others and the yellow in front of him.
"Aww why does Zoro get a yellow one?" Luffy whined.
"Because he doesn't like chocolate," His shoulders were relaxed, clearly thinking the watermelon conversation was over.
"Why can't you just put a bowl under the watermelon?" Zoro asked, digging into the fluffy food in front of him before taking a bite, it was more salty and savory rather than sweet.
"He's got a point, Sanji, unless you're afraid of failing? I mean not everyone can be as strong as the great captain Ussop!" Ussop attempted to flex with his tiny arms, he could use a good work out. Zoro would lend him some weights if he wanted.
"Please Sanji?" Nami only had to bat her eyes and the dam cook folded.
"Anything for you!"
"Yah hooo!" Luffy cheered in-between shoveling bites of food.
Zoro had gotten the outcome he wanted, but it still left a bad taste in his mouth. It annoyed him how much it bothered him that Nami had such sway over the cook.
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piffany666 · 3 months
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M4M asmr recommendations!
It has come to my attention that m4m enjoyers are in a constant state of drought because 1. Not enough people are making them and 2. Most of them are either 18+ NSFW or just plain terrible so I'm going to be going through all the (I'm my opinion) worth while M4M asmr audio series.
Part one: Angels&Bread asmr!
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This criminaliy underrated gem of a channel is responsible for the series "the dark prince" its starts of as a classic click bait-y drama but then only a few audios in we get mass amounts of LORE Im gonna avoid spoiler but essentially. If you like emo boys that actually have hearts of gold, sibling rivalry turned cutest brotherly bond ever, non binary old people and mythology I recommend this to you! Also if you like heven officials blessing you'll LOVE this
Main characters we got!
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Samuel, the love interest (the dark looking one)
And Michael, his brother (the white one)
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The custodian! Aka old as f*k non binary representation! They are the parental figure of the brothers and resident bad ass
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Ilyan! The listeners best friend and Michael's boyfriend. He is a sweetheart
Now as for the listener! He is referred to as "the boy" by everyone who isn't Samuel who calls him "my sweet boy" so yall trans mascs come get your dopamine! He is (without spoilers) a sweetheart who really f*king likes flower crowns (there's more to it I promise just go watch it)
Angles and bread basically only dose m4a/m4m
So go watch it!
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rock-dove-radio · 4 months
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Fun Fact I am affected by heavy synesthesia and decided to document a few silly things! When i read certain words / letters / numbers i see colors and taste things! As well as with listening to music i see visuals and taste things etc Feel free to ask questions i love answering!
Long post but basically i list brain associations so stuff under cut if you care to read
Anyway to the interesting stuff 😋😋
Color Flavors
🔴 - spicy and bitter with some sweetness. Makes my chest hurt
🟠 - Not sweet or sour it's like a uhh a snow cone
🟡 - frostingless sugar cookie
🟢 - butter
🔵 - steak
🟣 - those little mini cake things they have at weddings
⚫ - sweet and crunchy but has a dust residue like a handful sprinkles
⚪ - pineapple gummy bear
💗 - Walmart birthday cake
Colors / shapes i see when listening to artists
Lemon Demon - navy blue trapezoids and red triangles
Tally Hall - yellow circles and white diamonds
Will Wood - green squares and purple spiral circles (?)
Marina - pink bubbles and white sparkles
Lovejoy - light blue arrows facing downward
Penelope Scott - black semicircles
Mitski - slate colored trapezoids
TV Girl - gray rectangle
Weezer - green boing boing dog toy idk how to describe it
TMBG - orange semicircle really stretched
Oingo Boingo - green circles
Letter and Number Color Associations
A🔴 B🔵 C🟡 D🟢 E🟡 F🔴 G🟤 H🟤 I🔵 J🟣 K🟣 L🟣 M🟤 N🔵 O🔵 P🟣 Q⚫ R🔴 S🟡 T🟣 U🟣 V🔵 W🟣 X⚫ Y⚪ Z🔵 0⚪ 1🔵 2🟢 🟡 4🟡 5🔴 6🟢 7🔵 8⚫ 9🔴 10⚫
Day of the week Equations
10 x 0 = Sunday, 100 - 46 = Monday, 25 - 11 = Tuesday, 4 x 4 = Wednesday, 7 x 7 = Thursday, 5 x 5 is Friday, 10 x 5 = Saturday
Day of the Week Colors
Monday is Black Tuesday is dark blue Wednesday is dark green Thursday is dark purple Friday is yellow Saturday is lavender and Sunday is gray I don't make the rules
School Subject Colors
Math is red, Science is green, social studies is blue, literature / English is purple, art is also green
Number Flavors
0 - the chemicals you blow bubbles with when you accidentally get it in your mouth
1 - plain cracker you get in restaurant baskets
2 - gummy worm that's really old
3 - Doritos
4 - hamburger
5 - giant hot apple left in the sun 2 hours
6 - green apple
7 - steak fajita
8 - grape juice
9 - Hot Dog
10 - seat belt
Smells and Tastes regarding Music
Lemon Demon - lavender candle smell, taste like burger
Tally Hall - rusting Metal smell, taste like cold butter just taken out of the fridge
Will Wood - old church carpet smell, tastes like communion wine
Marina - tropical car refreshener smell, taste like putting a pen in your mouth
Lovejoy - smells like sea salt, tastes like sea salt chocolate
Penelope Scott - smells like rotting wood, tastes like Coca Cola
Mitski - smells like soap, tastes like Christmas cookies
TV Girl - smells like perfume drowning out body odor, tastes like ham sandwich that got ketchup on it
Weezer - smells like hamburger, taste like banana
TMBG - smells like antique store, taste like Olive Garden bread
Oingo Boingo - smells like barbecue, tastes like those big ass erasers people would poke with their pencils in elementary school
Misc
My Name - smells like vanilla perfume from bed bath and bodyworks, tastes like cheese pizza, is the color gold
Five Nights at Freddys - smells like cigarettes, tastes like burger (WHY DOES EVERYTHING TASTE/SMELL LIKE BURGER), is the color purple
Electric Dreams 1984 - smell like a city in Mississippi i went to 7 years ago, taste like red velvet cake, is the color hot pink
The number 999 tastes like watermelon
Pinterest app smells like nail polish and popcorn
Spotify taste like Gatorade
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bathroomtrapped · 8 months
Note
saw ask. so let's say hypothetically (not really) all the apprentices are autistic (they are) headcanon them
saw ask ‼️‼️ i completely agree unironically and i keep that in mind when i consume/write/draw saw content. jigsaw apprentices? more like PDA autistics anonymous jfc
i (shamefully) am not an amanda-guy and dont have pretty much any headcanons about her overall so sorry about that but ill do some bullet points for the apprentices bc ive thought TOO MUCH abt this
adam
1. the most obvious PDA manifestation, though i think its strong in mark and lawrence for sure, adam just doesnt mask his. he pretty much built his life around maximizing free will and full control over his schedule
2. constantly reducing sensory input with music and being baked. his apartment is dead silent and dark 24/7 tho
3. honestly i think adam has shocking high levels of empathy. most people in his life wouldnt peg him as someone who would struggle with that but i think its what sets him apart from nearly every saw character. hes so isolated but desperate to understand and connect with other people, even if hes in the shadows
4. studies high class targets and their mannerisms. it helped him function during a few job interviews
5. hates eating, hates effort so pretty much eats like shit. very few specific, cheap, prepackaged meals that he can handle. anything that isnt a time commitment to prepare and eat
6. talks too much to overcompensate (not sure if people are able to understand what hes getting at and ends up rambling)
lawrence
1. i hc him as a narc as well which (as you can imagine) combined with PDA makes instruction/criticism/responsibility stressful so hes constantly overloaded
2. same as above, combined with asd i think its the biggest reason he has that canonical low empathy (similar to mark)
3. can only eat incredibly plain and simple foods. rice, bread, vegetables without butters/oils etc. very picky
4. very little auditory sensory issues after so many years in a hospital and needs noise in order to function (including sleep)
5. started wearing pajamas under his suits after a few years in residency because hes already tired 24/7, the terrible fabric on top of that just makes him insane
6. struggled through med school because lectures are hard to interpret and hes more of a visual learner
7. so much eye contact
8. remember that dog picture in his wallet we see for like 5 seconds? i cant imagine someone like him enjoying the texture or sporadic energy of a dog and makes it sleep in dianas room at night. its not allowed in the office and he meticulously cleans all of the dog hair the second he sees any
9. absolutely allergic to change in every way
mark
1. low empathy as i mentioned before
2. he wears a lot loose fitting suits in canon which i think are for sensory reasons. he clearly prioritizes comfort with those (interesting) track pants?
3. i have joked with my mutuals about his off-putting, autistic ass stare countless times
4. terrible liar because he has less control over his facial expressions and mannerisms. he ends up making too much eye contact and thinks that brutal honesty is a good idea. he has an almost nonexistent filter
5. he reminds me of that brand of autism that a lot of patriarchs have, the kind that goes unnoticed bc theyre the head of the household. meat and potatoes his entire life, strange rituals and routines everyone has to get used to
6. extremely black and white sense of justice and a poor understanding of hierarchal authority. he doesnt get why people are above or below other people and struggles with those concepts
7. everyone in the precinct knows not to joke with mark because it will always fall flat and have to be explained. mark has rly funny but dry and blunt humor himself
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luffythinker · 6 months
Note
Alright, Ojiro/Deku hows that for a rarepair? It all started with the Shinsou thing at the sports festival when Ojiro said when this for me. After Deku won Ojiro was really happy and Deku looked at him like "Huh....he's actually really cute" i don't think not a single person ships this but me they could be cute together. Ojiro training with Deku and Deku getting his ass folded by a martial artist but also Ojiro getting folded by Deku cause he's literally the strongest ever. Can we call the ship plain boys cause apparently in the mha universe Deku looks plain, has been called plain and Ojiro's room is plain as well apparently lol. They probably fell in love training together you can't convince me something ticked in their heads when a fist or foot collided with the others head or stomach. Ojiro is bad at cooking, he can only make simple things that don't require a lot of actual cooking.
Deku: "We are having katsudon"
Ojiro: "We had that 3 nights in a row."
Deku: "it's that, white bread or TV dinner"
They go shopping together always end up in the exercise section. Deku likes cuddling with Ojiro's tail it keeps him warm on a winter night. Ojiro is actually super shy when it comes to romance, Deku sort of is too so it's blushing covering their faces in the first part of the relationship but they slowly learn to contain themselves. They hold hands alot. They are a couple that rarely has any problems or arguments besides Ojiro asking Deku to please take care of himself but it never turns into a argument. Deku never would have guessed clothes shopping with Ojiro was this interesting, he's in on everything, he's asking questions. He's watching the people at the store prepare the pants with a tail hole for Ojiro or a sleeve and it's like the most interesting thing in the world to him. Ojiro is just looking at him cause this is normal. Don't know how they confessed but it had to be Ojiro who casually asked if Deku wanted to go out sometime.
Deku: "Oh! me?" and he's pointing at himself.
Ojiro: nervously laughs. "You're the only here."
Everything is just so natural for them to fall into, including each others habits. One time Ojiro is drunk at a part with Deku who hasn't had a single drink since he got here cause somebody told Ojiro he needed to relax and have fun at the party (probably Mina) and Ojiro said.
Ojiro: "i want to do taxes and laundry with you"
Deku: "What does that mean?"
He never answered him but he found out via Tsuyu like months later that it means he wants to get married, he freaks the fuck out cause he didn't even know he's married material. He brings it up and Ojiro says.
Ojiro: "Midoriya i was drunk!" half thinking it's funny half trying to understand why that's the take away Deku got from that time.
Deku: "Obviously! but did you mean it?"
Deku just takes somethings too seriously but Ojiro thinks it's cute.
okay I asked for a rarepair and you really delivered, let's get into these two
I like the idea of them bonding over fighting together, cause very different styles but it would help both of them. And the idea that Izuku is plain is just absurd to me like this boy is beautiful but i digresskjdfjkdfk the people in the bnhaverse are crazy
them both not knowing how to cook byeeeekxjcdkfj them living off instant ramen and take-out and the one dish Izuku can actually cook
wait i think it's kinda cute that deku could sleep hugging the tail or it's just there for warmth during the night; i also think they would be a very chill couple, like nothing to complain about
okay you kinda sold them to me, cause this shit is cuteeee, like they would just be so sweet and cute together, can see them having romantic dates and everything. it would be an easy safe thing for both of them
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simpinghour · 1 year
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Tobacco Sunburst (18+)
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Pairing: Aki x f. reader  
A/N: I refuse to think back to the horror of 1997 and the ill-equipped lack of technology therefore this fic WILL be using some current tech. Sorry not sorry. Also how many of us are obsessed with this gorgeous man? Because honestly. 
Synopsis: A random encounter is the start of a friendship that turns to something more.
Word count: 5,903
Chapter: 1/?
Content: fluff, mentions of smoking, (legal) alcohol use, first times, f! loss of virginity, oral sex, penetrative sex, and shenanigans in general
Part of you wished you’d worn something nicer than a raggedy sweatsuit to take out the trash, but it wasn’t as though you’d planned on running into one of the most gorgeous men you’d seen in your entire life. Black shoulder-length hair tied in a top knot, double pierced ears and well-defined jawline was enough to make you do a double take. His clothing was a bit plain—white button up shirt and black trousers, likely the uniform of a government worker—yet it was easy to tell that well-defined muscles lie beneath. Too bad his handsome face was turned up in a scowl, and it was almost enough to make you want to turn and flee in the other direction.  
“You look like you’re ready to kill someone,” you commented lightly while tossing your trash into the dumpster. You began looking for the man’s trash, assuming he was there for the same purpose, although he was empty-handed and lingering near the garbage station to puff on the remains of a cigarette.
There was slight shock in the man’s pretty blue eyes, and you wondered if he was surprised at being spoken to or if it was your appearance followed by your fluent use of Japanese.
“Do I? I hadn’t realized,” he finally replied in a tone that was quieter than you expected.
“Long day?” you pressed, hoping he wouldn’t think you rude.
“More like long week,” he replied dryly, eyes narrowing as though remembering something that aggravated him all over again.
“I’ll listen if you want to vent. I know how it feels when you just want to vent.”
The man’s first cigarette was nearly gone and you watched him pull out another one, light it with the butt and deposit it into a portable ashtray that he’d pulled from his pocket.
“I’ve been gone for work for two weeks and all I wanted to do was come home and have a proper bath, have a meal that didn’t come from the conbini and actually sit down to eat it. But that fucking guy has no boundaries or respect. Who the hell goes through an entire bag of rice, three containers of jam and a whole loaf of bread at the same time?”
“Whoa, is that your roommate?”
“Yeah, sort of,” he answered grudgingly. “Sorry, I’m unloading all my shit on you and haven’t introduced myself. Hayakawa Aki.”
“Nice to meet you,” you reply after giving your name. “So I can’t help you with the shitty roommate situation but you can use my bath if you want. Also if you’re not opposed to a natto rice bowl and soup then I don’t mind sharing.”
“Thanks but I can’t impose on you like that.”
“If it was an imposition I wouldn’t have offered. Besides, it’s too late to have something delivered.”
Aki let out a sigh and sharply inhaled on the last bit of cigarette. You watched him stamp it out on the ground and put it in his little ashtray.
“You have a point. Though I should add that it’s sort of reckless to allow a complete stranger into your place.”
“Yeah, but you seem okay. Besides, I’d kick your ass if you were to try anything.”
That made him give you a genuine smile and you laughed when you heard him lightly chuckle.
“Glad that amused you,” you told him. “So I’ll see you in a bit? I figure you need to grab your stuff first.”
“Here, put this in your bath,” you told Aki when he came back, handing him a little paper bag. His eyebrow raised slightly and he opened it and brought it up to his nose.
“What is this?”
“It’s a bath bomb with lavender and other essential oils. Lavender is calming and you seem like you could use it. What with the roommates and all.”
“You would be correct. Thanks.”
“Before you go, do you want an egg with your rice?”
“Yes, please.”
When Aki emerged from the bathroom thirty minutes later, he looked mildly calmer. You’d already started putting his food together and had the kettle going.
“Tea?”
He inhaled everything and ignored your protests when he took his dishes to the kitchen and began washing everything. Now you were having a second tea and sharing a box of macarons you’d bought the day before while running errands.
“I never had these before,” Aki murmured, daintily biting into a pink rose-flavored macaron. “They’re not overly sweet but they’re good.”
“They’re my weakness. There was a shop that made amazing macarons where I used to live and I was so happy to find a place here who sold them. The quality is just as impeccable too.”
“Where did you live before?”
“America. New York to be exact.”
“And you decided to move here? Do you have family here or something?”
You shook your head. “Nah, it’s just me. I came here for work.”
Aki looked as though he wanted to ask more and you continued before he was able to.
“Before you ask how I speak Japanese, yes, I know I’m black but my mom was half. I was born and lived here with her for most of my life and then we moved to America when she got remarried. I came back here for university and then I got a job that was based in America but they had a Japanese branch and since I was fluent in both languages and they needed someone here, I was perfect for the role. Even better since I get to work from home most of the time.”
“I wish I could work from home. Although on second thought, I wouldn’t want the sort of creatures I deal with knowing where I live.”
“Really? What do you do?”
“I’m a Public Safety Devil Hunter.”
“Eh, really?! I’ve heard about them but haven’t actually met anyone who did that. Isn’t it dangerous?”
“Highly.”
“Now I’m going to worry about you whenever you go to work.”
Aki let out a dry laugh. “Trust me, you don’t need to do that.”
“Too late. You won’t be able to stop me.”
Aki stayed at your apartment for another hour or so. You two talked about some of everything, and you told Aki that you were surprised to find him talkative.
“I’m usually not,” he pointed out. “Rather, I guess I can be depending on the company.”
“Likewise.
________________________________________________________________
 The next Saturday afternoon, Aki was at your door asking if he could take you to lunch. It wasn’t as though you’d had any plans so you accepted. And you were glad you’d done so, because you and Aki spent the entire day together, ending your evening by going to an izakaya followed by you both stumbling in your doorway a little after one in the morning.
“I can’t believe some woman isn’t banging on my door for stealing her boyfriend all day,” you said jokingly. You’d found some Paracetamol and after you both took a few with a glass of water, you and Aki were strewn about your living room floor.
“A girlfriend? Me? That’s funny,” he offered dryly.
“Yes, you. Have you seen yourself?”
“I don’t think my looks are anything special but that aside, my life isn’t really amenable to relationships.”
“I suppose you’re right, but that’s still sad. You deserve to be happy just like anyone else,” you replied after a while. “I mean any one of us could die in a non-devil related manner at any time. So if you meet someone who makes you happy, why not enjoy the time you do have with them?”
“I guess. But what about you, why no boyfriend?”
“Aki, the only reactions I get from men are disgust or being ignored. But after dealing with some of these shitheads, being ignored isn’t so bad. So technically I’m a citizen here although when they see me, they automatically assume American until I tell them off in Japanese. I can’t even make this up, but on more than one occasion I was asked ‘how much’, meaning they thought I was a sex worker. And one asshole didn’t even offer the courtesy of paying, he just outright asked if we could fuck because he heard black girls ‘feel different’, whatever the fuck that means.”
Aki’s face pulls into a grimace as you talk. “That’s disgusting.”
“Tell me about it. Hey, I need a snack. Want some potato chips?”
“Yeah, okay.”
After the chips you decided you needed something sweet, and you found some chocolate mochi. Then you wanted something salty again as well as more water. Eventually you both became sleepy and you got the sofa pillows and tossed one to Aki.
“If I take a nap here, you won’t cut my hair right?” Aki asks you through a yawn.
“Um, no? Why would I do that? Did someone do that to you?”
“Yeah, but she was also drunk. Although she was prone to doing questionable things whenever she got drunk.”
“Well, I’m mostly sober right now but even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t cut your hair. Doing that to someone where I’m from would land you getting your ass kicked.”
“I hope you aren’t lying. I really don’t want to wake up with short hair.”
“I swear to you, Aki, I’d never do that. Touching someone’s hair without permission is a big no-no in my culture in the first place, but common decency should dictate that someone not do so in the first place. Now go to sleep.”
________________________________________________________________
That was how your weird friendship or whatever it was—you two hadn’t exactly discussed terms—began.
You and Aki either went out or he came to your apartment. You hadn’t been to his yet purely due to the fact that he wanted to keep you away from his two live-in miscreants who would see fit to bother you on whim.
You thought Aki was exaggerating about his roommates and their messy habits, but the first time he texted you a picture of the kitchen after Denji and Power decided they wanted to create a new dessert, you offered condolences.
“Do they know where you disappear to?” you ask one evening. Aki is smoking outside on your balcony, which he flat out refuses to do inside your home. You’re tucked beneath a thick blanket on the sofa while dressed in the fuzzy onesie pajamas with a hood and cat ears that he’d bought you. The onesie had been the result of a joke but when he actually found some and surprised you with them, you’d screamed with joy and immediately put it on.
“Absolutely not,” he replies, blowing a plume of grey smoke into the chilly autumn air. “It’s peaceful being here alone with you and I plan to keep it like that.”
“What are you going to do if they get nosy and try to sneak and follow you one day?” you ask with a grin.
Aki peers at you with one eye. “Those two are about as subtle as a sledgehammer dropping onto concrete. Sneaking is not their forte.”
You’re still laughing when Aki puts out his cigarettes and slides the balcony door shut.
“Ugh, you’re freezing,” you groan when he brings the chill from outside beneath your warm cocoon by flopping down next to you on the sofa and wriggling beneath your blanket.
“Then warm me up,” he replies, pressing his cold cheek against yours.
“No one would believe that you’re part cat,” you tell Aki while sliding your fingers into his soft hair. His slippery strands also feel cool but soon warms up as you drag your fingertips over his scalp.
“No one would believe you. Anyway you wouldn’t tell.”
“You’re right; your secrets are safe with me.”
His words are becoming somewhat slurred as he relaxes further into your shoulder. It isn’t long before he’s fast asleep while half-draped across you. At some point you both shift on the sofa and he’s half-lying atop you, his long legs between yours while he uses your sternum as a pillow. The movie keeps playing but eventually you also fall asleep, and when you open your eyes it’s dark and you feel like you’re being boiled alive in your pajamas.
“Aki, hey, wake up.”
You try to rouse him as gently as possible, knowing that it’ll take him forever to settle down if he jolts awake in panic. Thankfully it works, and he mumbles “What’s wrong?” against your chest.
“Let’s go to my room. This onesie is good for a while but not to sleep in. I’m burning up.”
Up until now, Aki hasn’t stayed the full night. You two would get sleepy in the living room and doze off on the floor or sofa, but he’d always go back to his place during the night. Part of you wonders if inviting him to your room seems too forward, but you’re too exhausted to give a shit about propriety.
Aki seems to not care and he settles down on your futon while you dig around for something else to sleep in. Part of you wonders if you should go to the bathroom to change but you’re so sleepy that you don’t care. Aki’s eyes remained on you the entire time but for some reason you don’t mind. The sweaty onesie gets peeled off and replaced with leggings and a t-shirt. Once your hair is wrapped, you turn off the light and lay down next to Aki. Everything is quiet until he turns to face you in the dark.
“Why did you put a scarf on to go to bed?”
“Hair like mine is fragile and the smallest thing can make my ends break. Also a lot of things can absorb the moisture, like my cotton pillowcase, so I use this scarf to prevent that.”
“Oh, that’s good. Your hair is nice so it makes sense.”
“You have nice hair too. It’s so soft.”
“It’s okay I guess but it gets in my eyes a lot.”
“So why don’t you cut it short?”
“Because the fox devil I have a contract with sometimes wants something other than skin, so I keep it long to give him the topknot.”
“Wow. Does it hurt when he takes your skin?”
“Yeah, a bit. That’s why I have scars on my forearms. He prefers that part for some reason.”
“Well if you ever need a trim, I’m pretty good with a pair of scissors. I had to because it’s hell trying to find someone in Japan who knows how to do black hair.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
You scoot closer to Aki and cautiously work your hand next to his beneath the blankets. You test the boundaries by softly stroking the top of his hand, but he surprises you by completely taking yours into his.
His hand easily dwarfs yours and his fingers are longer and thicker than yours. They’re somewhat callused but not scratchy, and his skin is warm. Aki strokes the side of your hand with his thumb, and you’re pleasantly surprised at how nice it feels to hold hands with someone, and doubly so with a guy you like.
You’re sleepy but notice something soft touching your forehead, and it makes tilt your head back. You feel it again only this time it’s at your nose, and then the corner of your mouth. At first the sensation is so light that you wonder if you’re dreaming, but then you notice the distinct taste of cigarettes and the cake you and Aki shared after dinner.
His touch is slow, hesitant as though he’s unsure if he’s going to get pushed away. There’s no way in hell you’d stop him, and you eagerly welcome his kiss by opening your mouth while pulling yourself closer against him.
Aki gently cups your cheek as your lips move against one another’s. You don’t realize that you’ve began moaning when he gently sucks on your bottom lip, and you get worked up quickly when he rolls you on your back and settles himself between your thighs.
You know Aki is strong; he had to be for his job. Yet knowing was one thing and feeling was another. His abs are firm against your stomach and when you wrap your legs around his, his thighs feel equally muscled. The tip of his tongue licks into your mouth and your fingers involuntarily grip the firm sinews of his back. His hips roll against yours and send a strong jolt of arousal throughout your body, and you’re unaware of the way you’re moaning into Aki’s mouth. Eventually he pulls his lips away from yours yet keeps your body trapped against his, and you’re both panting slightly in each other’s face.
“Shit, I shouldn’t have done that,” he mumbles to your disappointment before flopping over onto his back.
“Done what?”
“Kiss you.”
You’re almost not sure how to respond to that. “Wow. Am I that bad of a kisser?”
“Hell no, it isn’t that. And that’s the problem.”
“Okay, Aki you aren’t making any sense.”
Aki sighs and covers his face with an arm. “You’re a good kisser, you have soft skin, and you smell good. And I know this is rude, but you have a really nice ass. And when you make sounds like that… I have an early start in the morning but now all I want to do is rip off your clothes and taste every bit of you.”
You’re not used to this side of Aki and his words are enough to make you clench.
“Whoops, sorry. Let’s just go to sleep now.”
He grumbles something about having a hard on but tugs you against him anyway, your back to his chest. Aki slings an arm around your waist and you can feel the unmistakable shape of an erection pressed against your ass, but you do your best to ignore it.
“Just for the record, I don’t mind taking you up on that offer when you have time,” you murmur right as you’re on the brink of drifting off. Aki groans in your ear and his arm tightens slightly.
“Damn you. I just got him down and now I’m going to be thinking about that for the next day or so.”
“Good. Use that as motivation to make it back safely.”
________________________________________________________________
Aki is gone the next morning, and the only reminder that you spend the night together is his scent clinging to your sheets. Part of you wants to cry when you wake up alone, but then you remember him kissing you goodbye shortly before sunrise, stating that he had to go to work.
Then you didn’t see him for a month.
You knew that missions could land him on trips that took several days or weeks, but you didn’t realize just how accustomed you’d grown to his presence until he was gone. The first two weeks you barely spoke, and you wondered if you’d scared him off by doing something stupid like confess your feelings in a sleepy daze. Yet when you two finally managed a brief video call, it was obvious that the only thing Aki wanted was a bath, a hot meal and to sleep for three days straight.
“I see you managed to elude your little siblings,” you told him with a grin.
“I swear those two idiots share a single brain cell,” he replied around the cigarette he’d just placed between his lips. “I can’t wait until we wrap up this thing.”
“If you want, let me know when you’re on the way back. I’ll cook whatever you want.”
“You don’t have to do that. Besides, I’d still have to cook for idiot one and idiot two else they’d blow up my damn kitchen.”
“Or I could make you all dinner and you could take it to them but not say where it came from.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Who said you had a choice?”
Aki sighs in defeat and you grin because you know you’ve won.
“Fine. But I’m sending you money for the groceries. Denji has a stomach like a trash compactor and you’d spend half your month’s wages on meat alone.”
“Aki, you don’t have to—”
The phone screen pauses for a moment and a few seconds later you get a notification of a money transfer.
“Aki! That’s enough yen to buy food for three months! You didn’t need to send that much.”
“You can use some of it for more macarons then. Denji and Power can have their own box and I’ll use them as a bribe to not destroy my place when I’m gone.”
The idea that he has to constantly bribe the two with treats is hilarious and you laugh until tears are in your eyes.
“I miss you. Shit, never thought I’d say that to anyone.”
“I miss you too,” you reply smoothly, although on the inside you feel giddy with glee. “Make it back home in one piece or I’ll bring you back to life and kick your ass.”
________________________________________________________________
 Four days later, Aki is still in his uniform, sheathed katana strapped to his back when he knocks on your door. You send him off with dinner for Denji and Power, but he refuses to bring their macarons. Instead he takes a picture of the box with his phone.
“This is my insurance policy. They have to behave tonight and tomorrow and then I’ll give it to them.”
“I never thought dessert could be used as a collateral of sorts but hey, if it works it works.”
Aki leaves and returns ten minutes later. He’s just finished washing his hands and is about to settle down at your chabudai when his phone rings.
“What do you want? No, you can’t put plum jam on a beef bowl. What do you mean why not, because it’s beef! It’ll taste disgusting.” You hear the young man arguing loudly on the other end of the phone and Aki sighs in exasperation. “Fine, Denji, do what you want. I don’t give a shit. Now I’d like to eat so leave me alone.” He snaps his phone closed and places it next to him on the floor. “This fool tries to put jam on everything,” he tells you, shaking his head. “When he makes toast, he uses four different kinds as well as honey, butter and cinnamon.”
“That sounds like an expensive and overly sweet breakfast.”
“After the last instance of him eating all the bread and jam, I made him use his wages to buy his own. It worked, sort of. At least it made him conscious about wasting food. The first day he came to my place, he made such a huge mess. It took half an hour to scrub my sticky table and that was with his help.”
“Well worry not, there’s no jam anywhere tonight,” you reply with a laugh while setting down your meal.
Once dinner is finished and everything is cleaned up, you both take turns using the bath. Aki insists you go first and you’re waiting in your room for him. You asked if he wanted to watch a movie first but he declined, stating that he was tired.
Rain is pattering against the window by the time you and Aki climb into your futon. You’re both pressed together, chest to chest, and you lightly massage his lower back while his fingers trace along the length of your spine.
“I missed this,” you murmur when his hand moves to the back of your neck.
“Me too,” he replies quietly, bringing his hand over to cup your chin. Aki gently tilts your face toward his and presses his lips against yours. Your kisses start off slow, but soon he rolls over so you’re beneath him and fastens his lips at the side of your neck. No one’s ever kissed you there and you feel it all over so intensely that it makes you shiver. You don’t think it can get any hotter and then he sucks at that sensitive patch of skin and you practically yelp while shoving your fingers into his hair and pulling him into you.
“So much for being tired,” Aki murmurs while tracing the tip of his tongue over your pulse. “Can I take off your shirt?”
By now you’re writhing beneath Aki and willing to do just about anything he asks. So you tell him yes and he tugs you to sit up and pulls your shirt over your head. It’s placed somewhere at the side of your futon and Aki nudges you to lie down again. He’s staring at you so intently that it almost makes you want to cross your arms over your chest. You’re sure that his breathing has sped up, and then you hear the evidence when his fingers linger along your waistband and the question is clear in his blue eyes.
You nod and lift your hips, and then Aki’s hands are tugging your leggings and underwear down in one go. You wonder what he’s going to do next as a mixture of nervousness and arousal begins swirling around in your belly.
“You really are pretty everywhere,” Aki murmurs, leaving his hands atop both your knees.
“Thank you.”
Aki remains fully dressed as he leans over you again, and his lips meet yours while his right hand moves to cup your breast. As he moves to your neck again, his slightly callused thumb circles around your erect nipple and the combined sensations have you yearning for more.
“That feels so damn good,” you moan, arching up into his hand.
“You feel so damn good. Your skin is like silk.”
To prove his point, Aki begins smoothing his palm across your sternum, between your breasts and down to the curve of your hip. He moves until he has a handful of your plump ass while covering your entire nipple with his mouth, and he flicks the stiff nub with his tongue before giving it a soft suck. He does that for several minutes before using both hands to cup your tits, and soon your nipples are hard as pebbles and covered with spit. Between your legs is clenching on its own, and you want to ask him to touch you there but feel self-conscious about being so forthright.
“You can tell me what you like, you know. I won’t be offended,” he comments while shifting down to suck a wet patch on your hip.
“I like everything you’ve done so far,” you reply, hoping like hell that Aki doesn’t start asking for specifics. Otherwise the evening was about to turn really awkward.
“I figured that, but I still want to know what you like.”
“Well, I don’t really know…”
“What do you think about when you touch yourself?”
“Aki! I can’t talk about that.”
“My face is very close to your bare pussy, and you’re too embarrassed to tell me about how you masturbate?” Aki sounds uncharacteristically amused and despite feeling mortified, you’re also somewhat put at ease. Horny also, because while Aki was sometimes crude when he spoke you’d never heard him say something like that before, and it sent a jolt of arousal right to your core.
“I think about how it would feel to be kissed here,” you finally tell him, sliding a hand down your belly and pausing above your mound.
“Does that mean you’ll let me kiss you here?”
“…yeah, okay,” you replied, hoping he didn’t hear the tinge of desperation hiding behind your words.
“All right. Let me get a towel.”
“What’s the towel for?” you ask, siting up to watch Aki walk out your room and to the cabinet that held your clean linens. When he returns, he kneels between your thighs and gestures for you to lift your hips.
“Because sleeping on a wet futon isn’t comfortable,” he explains, shoving the double stack beneath your butt. You feel sort of silly but go with the flow anyway.
Nervous anticipation has your thighs tense, yet Aki kneads and kisses the soft inner skin until you relax around him. Your pubic mound is caressed with his thumb, and eventually he moves down to your throbbing clit.
“I’ve barely touched you and you’re already this wet,” he murmurs as his finger dips lower to meet an abundance of slippery fluid that’s built up between your folds. He drags his now soaked finger back up to your clit and you let out a squeal as your hips jerk up to meet his touch.
Part of you wants to die from mortification, but the other part is screaming for Aki to keep going. You’re panting and squirming with need as his two fingers nestle between your lips, not touching your clit yet indirectly stimulating it at the same time. It’s too much yet not enough, and you aren’t shy about your frustration.
“Aki, you’re mean. Stop teasing me.”
“I’m not trying to be mean; I just prefer to take my time right now.”
You can’t argue with that, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re so aroused it’s starting to hurt. Still, it doesn’t matter how much you whine or thrash around, Aki is intent on going at his pace and touching where he wants.
You don’t realize that you’ve started holding your breath, anticipating Aki doing what he asked. Then you feel it—Aki sliding to lay on his stomach between your thighs followed by a warm gust of air against your sopping cleft, then the flat side of his hot, slippery tongue gliding over your stiff clit. Almost immediately you suck in air, and your hole squeezes shut so hard that he feels it.
“You’re definitely soft here,” Aki murmurs into your flesh, gently prodding your entrance with the tip of his tongue.
It’s hard to know what to do with your hands or legs, and you hope that your little moans and mewls aren’t turning him off. Although something tells you it’s doing the opposite, because Aki is literally tasting every part of you. You’re in disbelief at how sinfully good it all feels, and you throw all propriety to the wind when Aki pushes your tense thighs up and out and truly descends upon you. His mouth is hot and wet, and it’s engulfing what feels like your entire cleft. It’s interspersed with laps at your clit, with Aki softly sucking it in between his lips while using a fingertip to trace along the outskirts of your quivering hole.
“Is it okay if I put it in?” he asks and you almost scream yes while reaching down to use his soft hair as reins.
You don’t even finger yourself, and the size disparity between your hand and Aki’s was massive. His finger feels too thick for comfort, just as you expected, but you relax when you realize that he’s only slipping it in halfway to massage some spot on your upper walls that makes you hurriedly grab a pillow and scream into it. By now your hips are writhing and you’re shamelessly grabbing Aki’s head and fucking his face. Your walls are squeezing rhythmically around the gently moving finger, and the only thing you can focus on how badly you need to come.
Aki’s hand is completely soaked with your juices, and his lips, cheeks and chin are shiny from you humping his face. Your walls are getting tighter and tighter around his finger and he can tell that you’re close. Your writhing form and thighs that keep squeezing his shoulders are no match for his strength, and your breathing is all over the place. Suddenly everything reaches a peak so high that you briefly wonder if you’re going to pass out, and your quivering body goes uncontrollably rigid from head to toe.
“Oh shit! Aki, I’m gonna—”
An intense buzzing is in your ears and your words are cut off when that orgasm hits you like a freight train. Your vision blackens out and you’re unaware of the pain or the way your teeth are in danger of breaking the skin of your bottom lip. You can’t breathe or think, and the only thing you register is how overwhelmingly good you feel. You remain in a stupor when your body finally goes limp.  It’s ages before you come down and for a moment you wonder if you’d died, but soon you realize that Aki is now at your side and has a mouthful of your nipple while his hand is still between your clamped, shaking thighs.
“Good girl. You okay?” he asks after kissing you.
You slowly nod and stare up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. The urge to go to sleep is growing heavier by the minute, but then Aki shifts to lay alongside you and he slips his free arm beneath your head. You close your eyes and nuzzle your face against the side of his neck. His skin is warm and holds remnants of cigarettes and soap. It’s a mixture of forbidden but safe, and you wish you could bottle it up.
“You’re still squeezing my finger,” he tells you, slightly wriggling the digit that’s still buried halfway in you. “Think you can come again?”
You murmur something about not knowing, then Aki does something with his hand that makes your eyes fly open.
Being post-orgasm sensitive means that every sensation is heightened, and that little tap against your swollen walls is enough to make you go rigid with pleasure. Aki enjoys seeing you lose control and he curves his finger into a sharper angle and thrusts it up into you in a way that has you melting in his arms. He pauses to ease in a second fingertip and it burns somewhat for a moment but you forget about it when Aki strokes that tender spot again.
Your entire body is hot and covered in sweat, and you’re back to squirming against Aki. He sets up a pace that quickly has your brain fading out of focus, and the only thing you can do is cling to Aki and cry as he fingerfucks you till the point of being incoherent. You end up holding one thigh back, desperate to give the man all the access he needed to your most intimate parts, and you’re rewarded with his palm pressing into your puffy clit. The room is filled with the loud squelching sound of your pussy being worked over by Aki’s long, thick fingers.
The next orgasm is different than the first; it’s quicker and deeper, and it leaves your face soaked with tears and the towel beneath you drenched with release. You lose count of how many times he makes you topple over the edge, and you’re completely unaware that the last climax causes you to literally pass out in his arms.
You come to slightly when Aki is pulling his finger from the clasp of your trembling body. You vaguely notice his erection pressing against your thigh and you want to ask if you can touch him. The only thing you know is you’re too tired to move even an eyelash, and you don’t realize that you’ve called Aki’s name until you feel him keeping you against his chest while covering you both with the sheets.
“It’s okay. Go to sleep.”
You acknowledge his words by giving his side a light squeeze, and a second later everything goes black.
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carolxdanvers-blog · 9 months
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wandanat headcanons 🫶🏼
Wanda regularly steals Natasha’s favorite hoodie and Nat never thinks to check to see if she has it. She’ll just frantically look for it like someone who’s looking for glasses that are on their face. but yet, it’s literally right in front of her. on her girlfriend. And Wanda will just watch the chaos ensue.
They both are terrible at sleeping. Nat just stays up and Wanda will be in and out of sleep.
They always sit next to each other during meetings. Bruce made the mistake of sitting next to Wanda right as Nat walked in and Nat about beat him out of that chair.
Wanda has this face she does when she’s trying not to laugh and Nat absolutely loves it. Nat has figured out that the best place to get her to do it is in meetings. She’ll say the most outrageous shit that she knows Wanda will find funny but she won’t be able to laugh about it because theyre in a (probably important) meeting.
Black Widow and The Scarlet Witch with their pseudo-son, Spiderman.
Bruce flirts with Natasha all the time and Wanda HATES it
They keep their relationship on the down low for a good while. There’s a lot of sneaking around.
Nat has a very specific was of making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (this is me projecting bc apparently i make them weird so nat does too) and Wanda thinks it weird and that it takes forever but she will do it every single time because Nat gets happy with a pb&j.
^ it’s her safe meal. also Nat’s oddly specific pb&j includes plain ass white bread, don’t give her that seedy 12 grain shit. then creamy peanut butter on both pieces of bread then you put the jelly on both sides. she can tell when it’s done differently.
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kil9 · 5 months
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weird grocery things in england (been here a few months edition):
not a lot of things are resealable... i can only use sour cream like once because it doesnt come with a damn lid ???
theres a bunch of different thickness of bread ?? weird as hell. only the "thick" kind is the same as normal american. all the others are weirdly thin.
also they dont put the actual flavor of bread on the package. its only like. white or brown.
same with tea and other stuff, its all just "plain" flavor. not actually saying what the flavor is. it would be like if all vanilla ice cream just said "plain ice cream"
also ice cream sucks ass unless its ben & jerrys. even m&s is mid at best. in america all ice cream is close in quality to ben & jerrys, b&j just has fancier flavors and mix-ins. but not in england. sucks BAD
ground meat is called mince meat but everyone already knows that
NO TURKEY COLD CUTS ???? or theyre really rare. i cant make a turkey sandwich which is so depressing. its all like. ham or chicken.. which is weird
british people like chicken a LOT................
but only like. plain unseasoned unless ur eating non-british cuisine
i would actually kill someone for some mesquite smoked turkey cuts. but nope. only wet plain chicken for mee
a LOT of individual packaging ????? i thought england was supposed to be like 1% more environmentally conscious than america. but no. all individual packages babey.
imagine if they stopped individually packaging shit and learned to make resealable packages.... imagine
NO FREEZER WAFFLES. THIS IS THE WORST DEVELOPMENT BY FAR.
waffles (individually packaged ofc) are just like. pre-cooked room temp (like bread) and you have to reheat them. except theres like a 1 second window in between "squishy and not toasted" and "completely burnt"......... bye bye hot soft and crispy waffles o7o7
also like no such thing is pancake syrup. golden syrup is ok i guess....
lasagna is weird :\\\\ theres no ricotta..... very wet
i feel like all my british friends hate lasagna and now i understand
british people eat chips (fries) like their life depends on it. no matter what kind of cuisine youre eating, there WILL be chips.
i dont know why america is stereotyped as the "burger and fries" country. it should be england.
black currant flavor is really good. sorry for shitting on everything else. black currant W
squash is also smart.. in america juice concentrate is usually frozen or powder, but the squash method is good
everybody has 1000 different words for a bread roll and they like to get in silly little gay fights about it to pass the time
frozen pizzas are RLY cheap. and a lot of things are way cheaper generally. everyone is all "waah wah food prices" but i can get for £1.25 what would cost $10 in america. (mostly frozen pizzas)
yeah thats basically it
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