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missmonsters2 · 1 year

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Your Touch is My Shelter

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: 6 months later, Natasha returns from the dead. It's a tightly kept secret as it's unknown how she returned, but everyone claws and fights about who will keep watch over her like savages. You're far down the list of people who should protect her, but you find yourself unable to leave her be.

Warnings/Tags: hurt/comfort. undisclosed trauma. physical and mental signs of trauma. angst. somber assisted bath time. sad hair braiding. emphasis on hurt AND comfort.

Note: This takes place after endgame :-) the dates might be inaccurate idk i did my best 🥲 ha-ha enjoy 👁️👁️

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Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

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You heard the news through Bruce.

Well, it was through Bruce telling Pepper, and you just happened to be at the coffee machine getting shitty coffee. The quality drastically dropped since Tony was gone, and you've been putting off telling Pepper she needed to literally buy anything else.

You didn't really know how long was the appropriate time for someone to grieve before you could ask if they could buy another brand of coffee.

Tony was gone.

A part of you thinks you keep putting off telling Pepper because then you'd have to face—really face—he was gone.

Steve was gone.

What did it matter, really, in the grand scheme of things? Coffee was just coffee, and it'd probably taste fine if you just put a shitload of sugar and creamer in it.

Vision was gone.

Honestly, you only really noticed because it was the same brand as whatever was stocked up at the Avengers Compound.

Natasha was gone.

But perhaps the coffee always tasted bad at the Compound and it had nothing to do with Tony being gone. Natasha used to bring coffee into the office most days for people, and Clint filled in the other days.

Maybe Tony Stark just liked shitty coffee, and you were only now just noticing it.

Natasha was back.

Your hand faltered at the coffee machine, spilling a little of it on your hand, and the burn stung immediately.

"Are you okay?" Bruce asked as he noticed you inhale a sharp breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You smiled awkwardly at him before looking at Pepper. "Morgan's fine. She just has the flu and her fever's gone down. Make sure she gets plenty of rest and fluids. I'm going to set up a humidifier for her and help her settle into bed with a movie and wait for her to fall asleep before I head out."

Pepper let out a heavy breath, putting her hand over her chest in relief. "Oh, perfect. Thank you so much for coming suddenly. I just—Morgan doesn't really like going to the hospital, and suddenly she started throwing up and having a fever—"

"It's fine, Pepper," you waved off her ramblings after you wiped what you spilled on the counter. "You can always call me if you need me."

"Seriously, I think I might just employ you full-time as a live-in doctor if you say that," Pepper joked, and you laughed.

"I am already your live-in doctor, just for one of your research labs. instead."

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You don't think about Natasha—at least, you try not to.

You heard things here and there about it through Pepper. Apparently, she's being held in a government facility similar to The Raft, detained like some criminal they needed to study instead of the war hero who sacrificed everything to save the world.

It made you sick to your stomach.

But you hear that Clint, Bruce, and Nick Fury have been fighting to get custody of her, so you don't think about it. There were people who knew Natasha far better than you did and were way closer to her than you were.

She was in good hands.

So, you continue on with your daily routine to pass your monotonous days, unaware you're waiting for some kind of update.

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The next time you heard about Natasha Romanoff, it was Clint and Bruce cornering you at your lab.

"What?" You panicked, tensing up. "Why me?"

"You're the only person Natasha ever sought out to treat her," Clint answered, and you felt even more lost at the fact he knew. "Natasha allows medical professionals onsite to help her, but there were times she left to go see you. That has to mean something."

But, of course, he knew. He was Natasha's...best friend. And Clint was an incredibly nosy person, even if Natasha didn't tell him.

"I've only treated her a handful of times—literally only five times. I don't know her that well," you shook your head, trying to walk around them. "I didn't even know she had a sister until you told me."

"Please," Clint begged. "I'm fighting to get her out, and the doctors they have looking after her are shady and callous with her. I can only visit her with Nick's influence, but it's not enough to get her out of there."

"And what do you suppose I can do?"

"You're a renowned cellular biologist," Bruce cut in. "If they're holding her for research, we want someone on our side who will at least treat her like a human being. The faster we get answers, the faster we can get her out."

"Please," Clint begged again. "Natasha needs help. She's...different. And it's only going to get worse if she remains in there. She's not talking, and they won't let her go until they can find some answers."

It felt wrong.

You don't want to study Natasha Romanoff like an animal. Despite being a scientist with an inquisitive mind, you don't care about how she returned.

But it sounded like Natasha would be researched whether you liked it or not. And if that was the case, you do wonder how the other doctors may be treating her.

"Fine, we're going first thing in the morning," you gritted out, unable to block out the handful of memories of times you've treated her.

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June 2012

"Oo, that looks painful," you hissed in sympathy as a redhead with a busted lip and nasty gash on her temple entered the med bay.

There was a snort that sounded like a half-grunt. "It looks worse than it feels. I hope I'm not intruding, but Tony said I should see you to be treated."

"Natasha, right?" You asked slowly, gesturing to a seat for her to take as you grabbed some medical supplies.

"Yes," Natasha replied, equally slow with caution.

"Tony talks about you a lot," you tried to reassure her of whatever paranoia she might have. It probably didn't help that Natasha was still in her catsuit and probably would've preferred to be called by her alias.

"Well, don't believe everything he says," Natasha gives a light but somewhat tight smile.

"Oh, so you aren't a unique woman with high intellect, sneaky, and rightfully smug?" You teased, and it was flattering that you could make a superhero laugh.

You began treating Natasha's wound carefully.

"You're pretty good at this, doc," Natasha commented as you blew on her brow, even if it didn't sting. "You're pretty gentle. Must be why Tony says you're his personal doctor."

You chuckled. "I'm actually a cellular biologist. Tony is funding my research and pretty much my lifestyle. With the money he's paying me, he can come crying about his boo-boos anytime. Although, he doesn't really come to me for serious stuff. It's usually if he has something ridiculous like a papercut."

"But you can treat wounds and other medical things?"

"I was on my way to becoming a medical doctor before I decided to go into research instead."

"Huh," Natasha hummed, raising her brow at you. "Smart cookie."

"I'd like to think so," you finished cleaning Natasha's wound and putting a bandaid over it. "Feel free to come see me if you need any other basic medical aid. For a pretty redhead, it's free of charge."

"And if I come back blonde?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," you smiled, and Natasha smirked back at you.

"Smart and funny. Tony has it too good."

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April 2014

"This is the worst bandage job I've ever seen. Who did you go to see for this? A grocery clerk?"

Natasha grunted. "Hi, to you too, doc."

You looked at Natasha, noticing how different her hair is now. But it's been about two years since you have seen her. Despite your offer for her to come to you anytime she needed help, she never did. Or she rarely did, you supposed.

You could only deduce that Natasha was used to caring for her wounds on her own. That, or she didn't trust you.

"Alright, let's go to my office," you sighed.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Not really, kind of hit a brick wall."

"Oh, me too."

You looked over at Natasha, who had a straight face, but you noticed the bruise on her temple outside the obvious gun wound on her shoulder.

You pursed your lips. "Will you hate me if I laugh?"

"Not at all. On the contrary, I may like you less if you don't."

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June 2015

"You know, when I told you that you could come for me for basic medical aid, I feel like you didn't understand the meaning of basic."

"Is this too complicated for you?"

"No."

"Then am I unwelcomed?"

You pursed your lips at the redhead, who stared at you with a tiny upward quirk on her lip. "No," you sighed. "Just not sure why you'd want to see me for such serious wounds. There are other more experienced doctors."

You lift Natasha's shirt up, looking at the long gash on the side of her stomach. "We're gonna need to stitch this up. I've been doing research with Dr. Cho, and we have a new machine that can help with cell tissue generation. It would be faster than me manually stitching—"

"It's fine," Natasha declined. "I'd prefer if you manually did it."

You frown lightly at the fact but relent to the redhead's wishes. Another year passes, and Natasha's hair has changed again.

You worked silently on cleaning Natasha's wound, and she also declined the anesthetic. You focus on stitching up the wound with precision and care.

"I like to go to you for some things because your touch is gentle," Natasha said quietly, but it felt so loud in the silent room. "It makes me feel human when I can feel your touch."

You looked over at her face briefly, but Natasha wasn't looking at you. You don't take any deeper meaning into it. She's someone who's probably felt dehumanized most of her life. The machines that can heal her twice as fast would be fine for life-threatening injuries, but it probably all feels clinical.

You looked back down at the stitch. "Well, as long as you're a redhead, it's free of charge."

"Don't kid yourself, I would look perfect blonde."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that."

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September 2016

"What are you doing here?" You hissed as you pulled Natasha in quickly, peering outside before shutting the door.

"Why? Am I unwelcomed now?" Natasha's tone sounded a little hurt, and you scan her body. She didn't seem to be bleeding anywhere that required immediate attention, but you did notice crusted blood at the edge of her nostrils.

"No, but you could get caught here," you shook your head at her. "They're looking for you and the rest of team cap everywhere."

Natasha shrugged. "I highly doubt Tony has your place under surveillance. We don't meet enough for anyone to consider looking for me through you."

You sighed, not sure what to feel about the statement. "I suppose. I don't work for Tony anymore, anyway."

Natasha's brows furrowed.

"Why?"

"I don't agree with what he's doing."

"So you're on Steve's side?"

"No, I think Steve was obstinate too. They're both stupid. Men are stupid."

Natasha laughed before wincing as she held her nose.

"What happened?" You brought her over to your couch before finding your first aid kit.

"I broke my nose," Natasha shrugged. "Can you believe breaking my nose saved millions of girls?"

"With you? Yes." You smirked as you tilted her head to look at the injury closer. "Lucky you. Looks like you don't need surgery. Do you always come here immediately after you save the world?"

"Yep."

"Couldn't even clean your nose before you did?"

"And deprive you of giving me care? I wouldn't dare."

You snorted, carefully cleaning the blood in and around her nose. It was silent again before Natasha spoke up.

"So, what happened with your research stuff now that Tony's not sponsoring your work?"

"Pepper is funding it, even though she knows I won't share anything with Stark Industries at the moment. She doesn't want me to sell my research or provide any data to other companies."

"Smart cookie."

"And a really hot blonde."

"This feels targeted. It's like you know I might dye my hair blonde soon."

"You're still a redhead; I have no idea what you mean. I like your hair, though. Braids look good on you."

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June 2018

Natasha showed up at your front step, holding her rib. There's a look of genuine relief at seeing you.

"You're still here," her voice sounds empty and hollow. "You're still here."

You pulled her inside gently. You're still in shock yourself. You were on a walk when people started disappearing left and right. The sheer panic on the streets was chaos as you were dialing Pepper frantically, almost crying when she picked up the phone. Then there were actual tears when you called other people in your life, and half of them didn't pick up...and they weren't going to.

"I'm here," you swallowed. "What happened to your rib?"

"I don't know." Natasha looked so lost. There was the look of failure and self-blame all over her face.

"Does it hurt?"

"I don't know."

You grasp her wrist, carefully moving her hand away from her rib before gently putting your fingertips against them. Your fingers trail up, down, and around.

Suddenly, Natasha broke into tears.

"Does it hurt?" You asked, panicked.

"You're still here," was all Natasha choked through her tears.

You didn't know what to do other than treat her wounds more gently than ever before while reassuring her you hadn't disappeared. You were one of the many people on this planet still here. And when she was better, she'd get the rest of them back.

It was a long and exhausting night, and Natasha fell asleep in your bed, and you made sure she was comfortable before leaving to sleep on the couch.

Natasha's hair has changed again.

"You look good blonde."

That was the last time you saw her.

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Natasha's hair has changed again. She's gone back to being a redhead with blonde tips. Her hair was a mess, barely brushed, and looked knotted.

The room was big and had padded walls, a singular bed in one corner, and a toilet and sink in another. There were lights in parts of the cell but also areas of darkness. It looked like a fucking prison cell.

You were looking through an unbreakable glass window, the middle holding up a microphone you assumed was linked to the speaker in the room.

Natasha stood in the middle of the room under the light in a hospital gown falling off her shoulder. Her hands were covered in scars, and her lips were so chapped, you were sure they'd split even if Natasha breathed the wrong way.

Natasha was only a few feet away from you, but it felt like she was a million miles away.

They let you see her alone under the guise of privacy as you saw her.

You felt you weren't supposed to see this—see her like this.

A sense of dread filled you at the blank expression on Natasha's face at what she'd gone through—what she was still going through.

She was a hero, and this was how they were treating her? This was someone who had fought wars repeatedly for this stupid country and the rest of the world, and they had her locked up like a mental ward patient from the 1600s.

You thought the government had gotten better. There were reforms and peace after people came back from the snap. This wasn't how they were supposed to treat someone who'd given up their life to ensure everyone got theirs.

It shouldn't matter that she came back; she had still given it up in the first place for them.

Natasha didn't even seem to recognize you through the glass as you stepped closer to the microphone. She looked past you as if she could tell the exit was somewhere behind you.

"Natasha?" You said into the mic, and it bellowed into the room.

Nothing.

"Nat?"

Natasha's eyes were listless. She was a broken, empty shell that seemed more like an animated corpse than actually being alive.

You swallowed, trying one more time. "You're still a redhead. Looks like it's still free of charge."

Natasha's eyes flickered this time, her head tilts towards you as she blinked with focus. It was just a spark, but it was something, and relief spreads through you.

"Not completely." You could barely hear her voice, but it was coarse. Cold.

There should've been a joke about some kind of discount, but Natasha didn't make it. You were speechless.

You didn't know what to say. Don't worry, you're trapped in here, but I'm going to help with the research, and hopefully, we'll get you out soon?

It was like prolonging a death sentence. You were horrified.

"Just—wait for me," the words flew out of your mouth so fast but you meant them with every ounce of your being. "You're gonna go home with me today."

Natasha's eyes sparked at the words but just as quick as you saw it, they died out, falling back into listlessness. She turned, stepping into a darkened corner away from your view and prying eyes of the cameras as she said, "No, I'm not."

You realized she's probably spent weeks watching Clint, Bruce, and Fury try to get her out unsuccessfully.

The resignation made something lurch in your throat and eyes sting with desperation and rage.

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"So, we can send you a contract—"

"You're going to release her to my custody," you cut off some government official. He was old, wearing some kind of toupee that was slicked back to hide his balding head.

He looked at you in disbelief, almost laughing like you were some stupid, naive young girl.

He looks at Clint and Bruce, who are also just looking at you in shock.

"As I've told your friends and Nick Fury, this is out of their hands. The Accords are still intact as of right now, therefore—"

"I don't care about the Accords. You will release her into my care. I'm more than qualified and I have the resources to find the inane answers you're looking for while rehabilitating Agent Romanoff," you cut him off again, able to tell that it was irking him.

"That won't be necessary as you can see we have the resources here," the government official raised his brow at you.

"Your resources can't compete with Stark's resources."

It was no secret that Tony had left a very sizable fortune to you in his will, outside of everything he gave to Pepper and Morgan. And it was also no secret how close you were with the surviving Starks.

"Doctor," the government official sighed, obviously making it sound like you were a nuisance. "If you're not here to join our research team, I suggest you go on your way and remember the NDA you signed."

You glared at him even more. "I'm not leaving without Agent Romanoff. You will hand her over to me, or you will regret it."

"And exactly how will I regret it?" The government official looked smug, and you smirked back at him.

"I'm still in talks with the government regarding my research, and I will pull out and sell that information outside of this country as I'm free to do so. I know Dr. Cho is in talks between the US and South Korea about her nano-technology. One word from me, and America can fall behind on those advancements as well." You pulled out your cell phone in a threatening manner. "Pepper and I will pull out all of our money from the very same banks and company investments that you're supporting and make you watch as they collapse one after another."

"You'd ruin our entire economy—our country by doing so!" The official was red in the face. "You'd put your entire country into chaos?" He sneered at you.

"I will if you don't give me Agent Romanoff!" You sneered back at him. "It's not like you won't eventually get your research and answers if she's in my custody. It works in both our favor."

The official is staring at you, glaring and seething.

"I imagine your colleagues and superiors will pin the blame on you if this entire economy and country goes into ruin because if I have to do that, I will say that it's the government's fault. The NDA said I can't specifically talk about Natasha and this place, which I won't. But I'm sure some journalist will discover the truth and plaster all over the news what you're doing to a war hero," your voice was so vindictive; you're not sure if you've ever been so cold before.

"So," your voice was flat, devoid of emotion now. "What will it be?"

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It was agreed that Natasha would stay in a cabin that Pepper owned out in the countryside. You were to provide monthly updates on your research and rehabilitation progress. And while this was in headway, neither you nor Natasha was free to leave the country or this planet.

Clint initially wanted you and Natasha to stay with him and his family, but you declined. You pointed out that it would be hard for him and his family—his children, especially—to see Natasha like this.

Pepper had everything prepared while you gingerly collected Natasha.

"We're going home, Natasha," you said softly, shrugging off your jacket to wrap around her shoulders. But Natasha still didn't react, even if she let you take her hand and drag her out of the facility.

During the car ride, you mentally planned what you needed to do. Natasha needed to eat, take a bath, and rest.

"Have you eaten yet?" You asked the redhead, sitting stoically in the car, straight as a rod.

There was no answer. Natasha was peering out the windshield, her hands perfectly on both thighs. Clint looked worried as he looked at you.

"Natasha?" You gently placed her hand over hers. You could feel the bumps of the white scars over her hand. A part of you is too frightened to ask where she got these from.

Natasha looked down at your hand over hers before looking at you. Her eyes were so empty. Such a dull green like dying grass.

"Did you eat?"

Natasha nodded once before looking back outside the windshield.

You looked at Clint, trying to give him a reassuring smile, but deep down, you were afraid you had no idea what the fuck you were doing.

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"Pepper says you've been here before, but let me know if you need help finding anything," you brought her into the house where Natasha just stood, looking at nothing in particular.

"Um," you took a shaky breath. "How about a bath? I'm sure it'll be good to get the grime and stale air off of you."

Natasha didn't move on her own, so you began to lead her up the stairs to the bathroom.

It was a detached tub near the high window to get plenty of sunlight without anyone being able to peer in.

"I'll just get this started for you," you offered. Turning on the tap and pouring in a liquid that formed into bubbles. "Just make sure to check the temperature and adjust. Pepper says that sometimes that faucet can be a little finicky."

You turned to Natasha, who stood there, staring at the wall. She was unmoving, making no gesture if she was waiting for you to get out or to start undressing.

"Do you, um, need help?" You asked, but there was no answer.

Maybe it would wake her up a little once she was in the water.

"I'm—" you took a long breath in. "I'm gonna help you undress and get into the tub. If you get uncomfortable at any point, let me know and I can stop or do something else."

It wasn't like you've never seen a naked body before. You've seen plenty both in your sex life and field of work. You've even seen parts of Natasha's body when you've treated her. You just never thought you'd see Natasha fully naked.

You slid your jacket off her shoulders, letting out a puff of breath. You looked past her as you undid the string of her hospital gown. You looked up when you slid down her underwear before guiding her towards the tub. Your gentle guiding seemed to spark Natasha into mechanically climbing into it herself the rest of the way.

"Okay, cool. Um," you stuttered. "I'm sure you've been through a lot. Once you're done, we can get you into bed and if you're hungry later, I can make you something."

You were getting used to the lack of answers, but it didn't make your stomach drop any less. "Just let me know if you need anything."

You don't wait for a response this time, leaving without shutting the door fully. Down the hall, you leaned against the wall, swallowing harshly.

It feels like you brought a lifeless shell home. A part of you wonders if Natasha really did return or if this was just some lifeless doll.

You didn't want to think about it anymore, so you pushed yourself off the wall and into a bedroom with a suitcase and unzipped it open to grab some clothes.

When you were heading back, you heard the water still running and frowned.

"Natasha?" You called as you opened the door. The tub was overfilling, and you rushed to turn off the faucet, trying to not slip.

Natasha was sitting how you left her, staring ahead at the running water but not really looking at it.

You sighed, relieved that the bathroom floor was designed with wood and curved so that any water would naturally run towards a drain in the floor.

You go to check the temperature of the water and find that while it was initially fine when you turned it on, Natasha hadn't attempted to adjust it, and the finicky faucet ran nearly scalding water.

"Jesus, Natasha, you're going to hurt yourself," you yelped. You braced through it and stuck your hand in to drain the tub halfway.

You inwardly sighed, knowing you would have to help Natasha through the entire process. You began to refill the tub, monitoring the temperature and shut it off when it was filled adequately.

"I'm going to help wash you if that's okay," you muttered. "Just let me know if you prefer to do it yourself at any point."

You grabbed a nearby stool and sat on it before grabbing the loofa. You began with Natasha's shoulders and arms, trying to wash parts of her that were easy to access.

Natasha tensed as you washed her, so you tried to be more slow and careful.

"It's just me," you said softly, trying to reassure the redhead. "I've always taken care of you."

Natasha said nothing, but her shoulders relaxed slightly as you continued. There wasn't much dirt on her, but the stale air that was surrounding her began to fade away.

Her knees were propped up, folded to her chest, and you washed down her thighs and legs, trying to not think of anything too much as you did it. You tried not to think about the scars on her hands and feet.

Readjusting your stool, you went to sit behind her. You used a cup to wet Natasha's hair, trying to detangle some of it gently first. It was then you discovered a shaven spot in the back of her head, where there was a large scar. You realized that was where Natasha's head hit the ground when she—

You swallowed, trying to suppress the anger that they shaved her head to get a look at something so private.

You squeezed a considerable amount of shampoo in your hands and gently rubbed it into her scalp. Natasha tensed at first before your fingers massaging her scalp made her relax, her body leaning back against the tub and her head into your hands.

It was quiet as you did this. You shampooed her hair twice before slathering it up in conditioner and finally getting out the rest of the knots. You drained the tub, grabbing the shower head to rinse her down once more before you grabbed a towel and helped her out.

You helped put a bathrobe around her to help dry her as you didn't think you had the gall to fully dry every part of her by hand. Grabbing her clothes, you led her to her bedroom, setting her down on the bed.

Natasha sat silently as you towel-dried her hair with gentle hands. Her eyes fell closed as you began to blow dry it. Your soft fingers tousling her hair.

So delicate.

When it was dry, you set the blow dryer aside.

"Hm, your hair is pretty sensitive and might be for the next week. It might be better to braid it so it doesn't tangle and break when you're sleeping," you commented, mostly to yourself.

You took sections of her hair, delicately beginning to put her hair into a french braid.

"You've always had beautiful hair, red or blonde," you complimented Natasha as you finished. You moved to sit in front of her to check if you did okay from the front. There wasn't a response, but Natasha opened her eyes. They focused on you, looking at you as they traced over the features of your face. She was studying you apprehensively.

Natasha lifted a hand, slowly reaching up as her fingers brushed the side of your face. It felt bumpy from the scars, but it made the back of your throat burn.

"Am I really here?" Natasha mumbled as she then traced your cheek before your lips. "Am I really here with you?"

Your eyes were burning now. You couldn't even answer right away because you were afraid your lips would start trembling.

You lifted your hand, hesitating at first, before you held her hand against your face. "Yeah, you're really here."

The edges of Natasha's eyes began to brim with tears.

"When I jumped, I didn't die right away," Natasha whispered. "There was a feeling that something bad was going to happen. It didn't get me yet, but it was going to."

You couldn't help the tears that began to fall over the edge of your eyes when they overfilled.

"Something bad happened to me," Natasha's lip trembled. "It's still happening to me."

You gripped her hand tighter unintentionally, but it was like it grounded Natasha.

"I was scared," Natasha admitted. "I was scared that even if you came to me, it wouldn't go away."

Then, Natasha grabbed your hand and placed it against her cheek. It was still warm from the bath and blow dryer.

"But I can feel your touch," Natasha sighed like it was a relief. "It's gentle and I feel human. I'm scared I'm not really here."

"You are."

Your throat felt clogged with raw emotions, and you didn't know what to do with it. You've only seen Natasha a handful of times, and maybe it's because the more you do, the more emotionally charged you both feel.

"You're really here," you told Natasha, using your thumb to caress her cheek. You didn't know what else to say.

All you can do is offer her shelter under your touch.

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nihilistem · 8 months

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adhd study tips.

by a stem student with adhd.

disclaimer!!! I’m by no means an expert in mental health or adhd but I do happen to have it. My intention with this post is to help others with adhd get more comfortable with studying so the process will be smoother for them!! At the end of the day, despite having the same disorder our brains will still work differently so do keep in mind that these may or may not help you, but are something you can try out if you’re stuck on not being able to study efficiently.

here’s some adhd study affirmations + tips on straying from discouragement if you’re experiencing burnout.

(And here’s part 2 of adhd study tips.)

I’ll start this off by listing more commonly known study tips that also work well with adhd.

change up your environment every now and then. we seek novelty even more than neurotypical people already do so switching it up will definitely help in our studies, especially if the place is well lit!

try some questions of the topic you’re trying to learn even when you know nothing about it. both neurotypical and neurodivergent brains are hardwired to remember things when we are proven wrong, and this is a great way of utilizing this neurological response!

take walks, exercise or stretch during your breaks. this tip is very effective at satiating our hyperactivity and also keeps us energized throughout our study session.

keep a notebook for your brain dump / ideas. we always either think of really stupid things or the most brilliant ideas in the middle of our study sessions and it almost always leads to distraction, but writing it down somewhere lets your brain know that the idea isn’t going anywhere and you can continue studying.

now, onto the tips that have personally helped with my adhd (and I haven’t seen many others talk about.)

alternate between various study plans, routines, schedules and techniques and always be open to finding more of them. majority of the time people always say ‘have a routine that works for you and stick with it’ but our adhd brains get bored very quickly, especially when it comes to repeated routines and schedules. I personally never stick to the same routine or plan more than three days in a row and sometimes I even make a plan on the spot and I’ve been more productive doing that than when I had only one or two study routines to switch between.

do not time yourself at the very beginning. Instead, focus on something in your studies you’re interested in and start there. what do I mean by this? well, since starting is always the hardest, when we begin our very first pomodoro we might find ourselves spending the first 25 minutes zoning out on a textbook just to get that ‘study time’ in even though you didn’t actually learn or recall anything. So to combat this, begin with something you’re genuinely curious about, or ask a question you can’t help but wonder the answer to. Once you find the answer, you might find you’re more in the zone and can continue from there. If not, take a short break and begin the pomodoros afterwards.

if you’re zoning out while reading up on a topic, try walking around while reading, looking at different sources on it or do some questions on that topic. again, novelty always gets us every time. sometimes the problem may be that the explanation in front of you isn’t making sense in your head and other sources may phrase things in a way that is better for your understanding. perhaps the problem is that you’re staying too still and you need to satisfy the hyperactive part of your adhd. or maybe your brain subconsciously believes that they already know what needs to be known about this topic, and there’s no better way to test that by trying out some questions on it.

switch between lyrical and non-lyrical music playlists, but make sure the lyrical music inspires you to excel. this definitely won’t apply to a lot of people but I found that when I constantly listened to piano, lo-fi or just non-lyrical music while studying in general, it actually promoted my likelihood of zoning out. but recently I found a playlist I deeply resonated with that was related to my studies called, ‘pov : a try-hard mid student who wants to ace everything’ and because I related very deeply with both the title and the lyrics of the songs, I was actively being encouraged to study as I was studying. but I also recognize when I really need to think in certain areas and that’s when I switch back to the non-lyrical music.

this is all I have as of right now but please do lmk if you guys want more of these!! I really wanna help out as much people as possible because my studies suffered greatly due to both my adhd and my late diagnosis of it and I’d love to help out others going through something similar.

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sourpatchys · 3 months

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Title: Embrace

Rating: pg, nothing explicit

Word count: 893

A/n: I really just think Daryl deserved a solid hug during this scene so I had to write something. I may add to this and create a list of firsts! This would be first hug, then kiss, and perhaps some smut (I’ve been wanting to write for a first time with Daryl for a while) let me know what you think! <3

—

Back at the farm, when Sophia was discovered and life was in shambles— Daryl had separated himself.

You could guess why, he'd been on the hunt day in and day out from the moment it had all began.

He was— as most of you were— broken, inside and out. You'd seen his growth from the sidelines, his warmth towards Carol in her time of need, the light behind his eyes after finding that shack in the woods and the anger he displayed at the mention of that dirty little doll not being a beacon of hope.

And now it was all gone. The work he had put in was for not— the injuries he had sustained, the tears he had shed— all for nothing but a six foot hole in the ground and a broken heart.

You were willing to give him his space, ready to understand and let him be. That is, until you saw Carol, a woman who had already been through so much, leaving his newfound camp with tears in her eyes.

Part of yourself knew— you knew her tears weren't that of sadness, but rather an understanding of their combined grief. Daryl cared about Sophia, he cared about finding Sophia, and she knew how he was feeling.

That didn't stop you from moving on instinct, marching your way over to the archer as soon as Carol was out of sight and tucked away in the RV.

He heard you before he saw you, your heavy footsteps rushed and messy. He knew why you were there. He couldn't bring himself to care.

He was tired of caring.

As you reached him, his head swung forward to look at you. His eyes were cold and empty— but not dark. It's as if his body spoke one language and his eyes spoke another, begging you to save him, but letting you know if you tried, you wouldn't make it out alive.

"The fuck do you want?" His gruff voice rang, spewing hot venom with every syllable.

There was an invisible barrier between the two of you, one you dared not break— keeping your distance and planting yourself only a few feet away.

"So you like making people cry now? Distance yourself all you want, but don't take it out on anyone but yourself!" Your own words felt like molten lava in your throat as you lifted an accusatory finger in his direction, your eyes burning with unshed tears.

You rarely ever got angry. Hell— this was the first time you've so much as raised your voice since the end of the world. Not even so much as a shriek had fallen from your lips. You hated being loud, no matter the circumstance.

Maybe you were broken too.

Daryl stood, marching himself over to you, those few feet of space dissolving with every heated step, his hand coming up to mock your own as he shoved a finger in your face.

"What the fuck do you know about it?!" You could feel his spit hit your face as he spoke— "You commin' down here to piss me off too?! Why don't you jus' march your worthless ass back where you came from?!"

As much as you hated being loud— you weren't in a headspace to stop yourself.

"Oh, so you can yell at a grieving mother but I can't get mad at you for doing it?! What the fuck Daryl?!"

"It's none of yer fuckin' business what I do, now is it?!"

You just stood there for a moment— none of his words had gotten to you, and you were sure none of yours had gotten to him. This wasn't going anywhere. Why were you even here in the first place? What was the point?

Not daring to step back, you looked into Daryl's eyes again, that same cold look struck you. His eyes were moving frantically, his piercing gaze not knowing where to land as he took you in.

He knew it too. He knew this was pointless.

All he wanted was to be left alone— to bask in his failure and force himself to move on. He took on a role, he gave false hope— he wasn't enough.

The longer you stood there, staring at one another, the more clear it all came to you. You weren't a fighter, you kept to yourself, much like he did— for different reasons you were sure. But maybe— right now, his reasoning was similar.

He felt out of place— he felt useless.

The whispered words that came out of your mouth after what seemed like hours, rang deep into his core.

"It's not your fault, Daryl.”

Before he could argue, before he could even do much as blink, you found yourself leaning into him— wrapping your arms around his tight knit frame, pulling him close to you.

"It's not your fault, Daryl." You whispered again, squeezing your arms around his broad frame, sinking into his skin.

He was tense under your touch, your skin against his body felt like hot cigarette ashes. But he couldn't find it in himself to pull away. Entranced by the feel of genuine human touch.

Slowly, he reciprocated, his hands finding the small of your back, fingers twitching nervously— and if possible— he pulled you closer.

This makeshift embrace, full of anger and sorrows— was exactly what he needed.

#daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #twd #twd daryl #daryl imagines #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon headcanon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x you #daryl twd

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yourheart-inmyhands · 6 months

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Hi the anon who requested the primordial sea one- that’s alright if you didn’t manage to do for the time being- in that case could I instead make a request for the archons (including Furina) with a reader who has a hydro vision instead but tries to keep their abilities eg Hydro resonance a secret so they’ll appear weaker than they actually are and the archons reactions’ to finding out (i have bias towards a particular archon already if you couldn’t tell)- it’s totally fine if you can’t but just know that everything is all good so dw too much

Also if I don’t mind could I take the 💧anon label if I can? Thanks a lot

ah ofc you can! if you still want to that is, it's been a bit since i've been able to get to this ;v; also i only did Zhongli and Furina because i'm trying to cut back a bit on how many characters there are per post so i hope you don't mind! :]

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including being held against will, delusional behaviors, abuse of power, violence towards furniture, talk of furniture being destroyed and thrown around, mentions of distrust between partners, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Zhongli would be immediately skeptical when he finds out. What reason would you have to hide your hydro abilities from him? Why would you need to appear weaker than him? Zhongli would assume there’s more you’re hiding from him, locking you in a room until he feels you’ve confessed everything there is. You could be in there for anywhere from hours to days, so long as Zhongli feels there’s something you aren’t telling him, he’ll keep you there. The creak of a door slowly swinging open had a sense of dread washing over you, the dimly lit room that already seemed to feel small felt like it had shrunk another 10 feet. Zhongli had come to feed you, something he did a few times a day, depending on how well he felt you behaving. Ever since he stumbled upon your hydro vision, which you thought you had hidden pretty well, he had been particularly upset with you. He was determined to find out what you were hiding from him, despite your constant cries that there was nothing you were hiding from him. He just couldn’t seem to understand that you wanted a simple, peaceful life with him and that you hid your vision because you didn’t want him to think differently of you.

Yandere!Furina with a beloved who hides their hydro vision would be hurt. Were you not proud of it? Was it not good enough for you? She’s hurt, upset, angry, and just a whole slew of emotions that she can’t even list ‘em all off. Her tantrum lasts for hours as she simply passes through every emotion, taking out her feelings on the battered furniture over and over until she can make heads or tails of what she thinks. The next you see her, she’s eerily calm, speaking to you gently and asking that you sit down and have a talk with her about it. You can expect the talk to be anything other than civil though, because as soon as she hears something she doesn’t like, all the chaos from before will rain down twice as fervently.

It had been an hour already, the sofa had been nearly split in half, the coffee table had a large crack running up the center, and everything else in reach had been beaten to bits. Furina didn’t take the news of you not only receiving a hydro vision, but receiving one and not telling her very kindly. Technically as the Archon of Hydro, she was supposed to be aware of all Hydro Visions that were received, but like the other Archons, it was simply an overtold myth. At one point in time, when visions were few and far between it might’ve been true, but nowadays the glittering representatives were handed out by the dozens. Still though, Furina was fuming about how she could’ve missed it. You of all people should’ve told her as well. What was Hydro not your favorite element? Well it should be. Perhaps she just needs to show you why it’s so great? No, that’s not a good idea, maybe that’s why you didn’t like it in the first place? Cause she’s so mean! No that couldn’t be it either! A loud scream and the cracking, wall-shaking sound of the table being thrown against the wall were heard throughout the manor as Furina tried to make sense of any of the thoughts in her head. She had no idea what could’ve compelled you to hide your vision from her, but regardless of the answer, she’ll never be happy with it.

#genshin x reader #genshin x male reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin x male reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli x male reader #yandere zhongli x reader #yandere zhongli x male reader #furina x reader #furina x male reader #yandere furina x reader #yandere furina x male reader #yandere furina #yandere zhongli #yandere genshin #zhongli yandere #furina yandere #genshin yandere

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bunni-v1 · 6 months

Note

Hi! could I ask for Y T Q K and L from the nsfw alphabet for sebek? thank you in advance :D

🍓I've decided to do single-character asks, then multi-character, and then I'll do the full lists. Single characters are always just easier to do, so I can get them out faster than others and get through all these asks in reasonable amounts of time lol. Anyway, I wish I knew more about sebek, 90% of what I write for him is me throwing darts in the dark and them hardly landing lol.

Sebek

K - Kink: Sebek is, perhaps, the biggest virgin at NRC. Bigger than Malleus. That's saying something. Still, he definitely has kinks. I think his biggest one might be a master/servant kink. (I mean like... duh, right?) He likes feeling little and below someone, he finds it hot, especially if you rough him up and make him do humiliating things for you. (Humiliation kink having ass)

L - Location: Sebek is such a stickler for the rules, he'd never want to do anything anywhere outside the bedroom... unless you asked him. He's a sub, okay, he can't say no to you. So if you wanna fuck him in the classroom, fine he'll do it. A storage closet, shoot. The only places he won't desecrate are places that belong to Malleus. Except... his school desk... sorry Malleus.

Q - Quicky: He's not a huge fan of them, but they are the most of what you can do. He's a very busy guy, so he doesn't have the time to have a whole session with you. Like I said before, if you want him somewhere he will happily bend over and take what you want to give him. He just prefers to put more time into the whole ordeal.

T - Toys: Yeah, of course. He's a bottom, and having toys used on him is so much fun. Not only that, it's pretty humiliating for him to be used like that so that only adds to how hot and sexy it is for him.

Y - Yearning: It's average, if not a little lower. He's a guard to Malleus first and foremost, so even if he wants to have sex with you he really can't all the time. He's taught himself to hold back when he needs to, but sometimes he just can't resist you :(

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #x reader #bunni's treats 🧁#sebek zigvolt x reader #sebek zigvolt

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mortemappetens · 2 months

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The official fanbook states that Toge’s biggest source of stress is morning assembly and I find funny (although, considering his manner of speaking, I can’t blame him):

——————————

It’s Monday, 8.30am, and because it’s summer the students are gathered outside. Jujutsu High is so far from a normal high school; but for some reason Principal Yaga insists on subscribing to some of the more typical and, frankly, mundane high school experiences.

Morning assembly, being one.

The schedule looks a little bit like this:

All students (wow, six of them, what a crowd) are to be gathered and organised by year at the bottom of the steps of the main campus building.

By 8.30am, all school faculty (all four of them, the fifth being on unpaid sabbatical while the third years are suspended) and the principal should also be present.

On confirming all attendees, they proceed with singing/mumbling the national anthem, voices drowned out by the inappropriately loud speakers blaring out an instrumental accompaniment.

Principal Yaga then takes centre stage to remind everybody of the school rules (perhaps because at least one is broken on a daily basis), before then moving on to students accolades.

General announcements follow, and if there are any, teachers step up to share their own announcements.

Before they end at 9am, Principal Yaga leads a very embarrassing stretching exercise to the beat of some 80s electropop music, then closes with a five minutes’ silence for “quiet reflection”.

And even if it is only once a week, Toge still sweats. Every single Monday at 8.30am, he sweats. It is particularly terrible during the summer, because it feels like he is trapping steam under his uniform. This Monday isn’t any different.

The moment the familiar trumpet instrumentals crackle out of the speakers, Toge feels the eyes on him, the grinning, even hears a giggle, and he is ready to put everyone to sleep just so he leg it the fuck out of there. Because-

Because he’s fucking singing out the list of ingredients for one of Musubiya’s more popular rice balls to the tune of Japan’s national anthem.

Like every Monday, he almost dies on his feet when he hears Panda “discreetly” transition from appropriately singing the anthem to singing rice balls ingredients. Why is Panda even here? The fuck does Panda have to be patriotic about anyway? Aren’t pandas from China? And Toge is pretty sure the materials he is constructed from is made in China, too. Fuck off, Panda.

Like every Monday, Maki sings a very unpatriotic bastardised version, a game of rice balls Mad Libs. This morning, she decided that the opening verse should be, “May the nori of the onigiri last for ten thousand servings […]”. The fuck is that supposed to even mean, Maki?!

Like every Monday, Nobara tries her best at channeling her inner pop idol and belts out the lyrics, each week louder than the last. But of course, with the antics of her upperclassmen, she punctuates each verse with a cackle - each week louder than the last. Come on, Nobara, pop idols never break character.

Yuji is a relatively new addition. He doesn’t know the drill very well. Toge is grateful for it. It is a refreshing change to have someone sing the lyrics of the anthem without inserting any laughter or culinary flairs. He does stare a lot, though. Toge can feel his comically large eyes burn his ears red.

And Megumi- Well, like every Monday, Megumi stands perfectly still, lips slightly parted though no sound is uttered, his eyes resolutely shut. Toge wonders how long it took him to perfect his talent for sleeping anywhere, on his back or standing upright.

And it’s not like any of them can be ignored. There’s just the six of them. There’s no cacophony of voices to drown out Toge’s, no sea of bodies to duck behind. There isn’t the anonymity that comes from being just another student, another face. And surely, most definitely, none of the teachers miss what each of them is doing.

But Jujutsu High is no ordinary high school staffed with ordinary teachers, run by an ordinary principal. And Toge’s no ordinary student. So Principal Yaga doesn’t say a word, Gojo sensei sways to the morose beat of the anthem, Dr. Ieri takes a leaf out of Megumi’s book, and Kusakabe sensei scrolls through his phone. And Toge (and Panda, and Maki) ends the anthem with a mumbled “pickled plum”, wiping the cortisol saturated sweat from his forehead.

At least the worst of it is over. Now he just has to mentally prepare for Principal Yaga’s fucking morning aerobics.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk crack #jjk fanfic #inumaki toge #maki zenin #jjk panda #nobara kugisaki #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #yaga masamichi #gojo satoru #shoko ieiri #kusakabe atsuya

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duplicityvn · 12 days

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Welcome to Duplicity!

Below you’ll find links to tags and the new itch page (once part 1 releases; tags will be added as they’re posted). You’ll also find some general information about the game and what to expect from here on.

As per usual, this game is a horror romance. It won’t feature any NSFW scenes, but it is not safe for minors. Minors DNI with this blog or the game.

Game Summary:

It’s been several years since you’ve been home, and a lot has changed. After failing to meet the strict deadlines of your former publishing house, your contract was terminated and you were left to fend for yourself. Once a prolific and popular author of romance and adventure stories, you’re now forced to move back home to live in your best friend’s apartment as their roommate. Struggling to figure out the next book in your series, you’re faced with many life-changing events, such as having to go back to work a customer service job you thought you’d left behind.

As you navigate this new chapter in your life, you’ll meet friends, old and new, and perhaps finally experience your own romantic tale… Just don’t trust everyone you meet.

(potential) Tag List:

#duplicityvn - general tag to encompass everything

#duplicitydevlogs - tag for dev-specific posts like progress and updates

#duplicity asks - tag for asks submitted to the blog

#duplicity griffin - Griffin specific tag

#duplicity tris - Tris specific tag

#duplicity taipan - Taipan specific tag

#duplicity dell - Dell specific tag

#duplicity nina - Nina specific tag

#duplicity savoy - Savoy specific tag

#duplicity riley - Riley specific tag

#duplicity melon - Melon specific tag

#duplicity mags - Mags specific tag

#duplicity all - general tag when everyone is involved in one post

#duplicity lore - tag for lore related to characters or settings

Here’s some potential questions I might get that I’m proactively answering now:

Why was the old blog deleted?

-I had a bad experience in the community and wanted to remove myself from it completely. I also had no idea where the game direction was going. Honestly, it started out with me wanting to make a yandere game with no understanding of what was going to happen really.

Why are you continuing with Duplicity?

-Duplicity originally stemmed from vague ideas about a horror romance I had started writing three years ago. Really, only some of the character names were similar. Once I started to feel like I wanted to come back and resume with development, I knew it needed a complete overhaul. So I went back to that old story and started piecing it together so it would work for a visual novel!

What changed and what can we expect?

-In the original demo, the game’s MC was around 20 years old. This has changed to player preference of anywhere between 25-30. Why? Because I’ve been wanting to see older characters in yandere visual novels, and just in VNs in general. I also don’t feel comfortable writing younger characters anymore. The characters’ ages will change depending on yours as well, which will be explained later. The only characters who have set ages are Mags and Melon.

-Speaking of characters, Sophie is no longer part of the story. I didn’t think about it at the time but I don’t want a minor to be included in this story when she’s not directly related to anyone, like a sister or a niece or something. In her place are several new characters: Nina, Savoy, and Melon.

-The game will be released in 3 parts instead of on a day-to-day basis. Part one will be mostly introductory but lengthy, part two will probably be the longest, and part three will mostly be focused on the endings of each route.

-The game will have more than just Griffin’s route. There are currently 9 endings I’m in the process of planning.

-As of the publishing of this post, everything previously known to the game is no longer canon, except for a few things.

What kind of asks can we send?

-Asks pertaining to the game and its characters and settings are all completely fine. In fact, it’ll probably help me develop the characters even better.

-NSFW asks are allowed! While there might not be NSFW in the base game (still juggling around the idea of a paid NSFW version), I am happy to write little fics if people are wanting them. I love writing, give me prompts!

-Hateful, derogatory, or other such topics that are sent to this blog will not be tolerated nor published. I wish to promote a safe space for everyone, and I won’t pay attention to any negativity.

-Silly and nonsensical asks are also allowed if they aren’t negative in context.

Alright this was long lmao but I hope it encompasses the general idea of what to expect from here on out! I’m not putting myself on a publishing schedule and I will update as frequently or as little as I do. I’m an anxious bean and can only do so much.

#duplicityvn #i hope everyone will like the new version ;3;#visual novels #yandere #male yandere #yandere visual novel #yandere vn #male yandere vn

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nobody-for-sure · 1 year

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Language Barrier

For those of you who haven't cracked the code yet: as of the last chapter, there’s now two (one for each country’s language). However, as a reminder for everyone, I maintain that the story can still be easily read and enjoyed with only context clues. If you're feeling frustrated trying to crack it, take a break. A fic about a language barrier where you had to know the language would be pretty pointless, wouldn't it?

Chapter 15

(~2.7k words, see chapter list here)

You may have fucked up.

Correction: you definitely fucked up.

The good news is that the teleport waypoints do, in fact, teleport you. Which is cool. Very neat. That means they weren't just a convenient game mechanic for the traveler. Good to know.

The bad news is that you apparently can't control where they teleport you, because when the blinding light fades, you're most definitely NOT in Liyue Harbor.

Fuck, go back. Quickly, you turn to the new waypoint beside you and press your hand against it. "Take me to Wangshu Inn!"

In an unsurprising turn of events... nothing happens. Nevertheless, you keep your hand pressed to the device, waiting. Lag? Is it lag? It took a few moments to activate the first time around, so maybe you just need to be patient.

Minutes pass, and your hand falls to your side. Why is this my life??? In what universe do the teleports only go one way? Are they one-time use? What a rip-off! You consider trying again, asking for a different destination, but you think better of it. It didn't even take you to the right spot in the first place, so you'd better not give it the chance to dump you somewhere worse.

Speaking of... where am I, anyway? You take a long look around. Unfortunately - likely due to the world being bigger than the game - you've been finding in your travels so far that nothing looks exactly the same as you remember it. Nevertheless, you try to stay calm and think things through rationally. (Not doing so has already been your downfall more than you'd like to admit.)

The air is thinner here, and foggy, so you deduce you must be in the mountains somewhere. It makes you thankful you didn't get transported to Dragonspine, at least; you're definitely not dressed for that. You don't think you've left Liyue, either. Not that you would recognize Fontaine or Natlan if you saw them, but the few scattered trees and vegetation seem to fit the bill. Thinking back to the game, you close your eyes in concentration. If I remember correctly, there were some pretty large mountains right next to the harbor. One of them had a waypoint, didn't it? That must be where I am. It's definitely not what you had in mind, but it's also the most logical option you can think of.

You sigh. At least I'm close. Now I just have to figure out a way down. From there, you'll find a way to get a message to your traveling companions.

You give the waypoint a withering glare. Still, could it really not have dropped me anywhere closer? And what's with the indefinite cooldown all of a sudden?? Muttering under your breath, you pick a direction that looks vaguely familiar and start walking. Hopefully, your reception in Liyue will be smoother than it was in Mondstadt... though your misfortunes in the land of freedom were entirely self-inflicted to begin with.

When am I going to stop making life harder for myself?

The mountaintop is hilly, and at first, the fog makes it difficult to see too far ahead. But you're in luck: after several minutes of walking, the fog starts to dissipate, and you can see a cliff edge ahead. Perfect. You can scope out your location and see if you can spot a way down - perhaps there'll even be a nice, gentle slope with a pathway leading straight into the city.

Yeah, right.

But as much as you weren't expecting that to be true, what you see instead comes as even more of a shock.

The sides of the mountain are steep craggy inclines as far as the eye can see, and that's the least of your problems. You're nowhere near the harbor. In fact, you're nowhere near much of anything. Not Qingce, not Mingyun, not even the Chasm, which appears to be the closest thing to civilization in the distance. You know where you are now. The three dreaded trial towers of Tianqiu stand tall across the gorge. No wonder your surroundings seemed vaguely familiar: back when you first pulled Xiao, this was the waypoint you used every day to get to the Primo Geovishap.

But how in Teyvat does 'take me to Liyue Harbor' translate to this?!

...Wait a minute.

You backtrack for a moment. Xiao. I can call Xiao!

You feel much better about summoning the adeptus now that you're actually in need of his assistance, rather than just to say hi. "Xiao!" Despite the situation, you can't quite conceal the tinge of excitement in your voice as you speak the yaksha's name. There's a moment of silence. You hold your breath in anticipation. And then:

"Biat ye, ika! Kundala kucha unu!"

If you had a table, you'd flip it. For the first time, you do recognize the language being spoken. Who would've thought it'd turn out to be a bad thing?

You wheel around to see two club-wielding hilichurls, a geo samachurl, and - by far the most menacing - a rock shieldwall mitachurl almost twice your size. And, in yet another dissimilarity to the fanfics, they do not look happy to see you. Frantically, you think back to your daily commissions with Ella Musk. "Um. Olah?"

The mitachurl charges.

You leap back from the ledge. The last thing you want is to get knocked off and fall to your death. The mitachurl zooms past, missing you by a hair and grunting as it skids to a stop itself, adjusting its shield. The hilichurls are right behind, waving their wooden clubs in a frenzy. They're less formidable, but they have numbers in their favor: when you move to dodge a blow to the head, the other manages to land a heavy hit on your upper arm. You stumble backward a couple steps, cursing. It's not bleeding, but it will definitely leave a nasty bruise. "Xiao!!" Where is he?!

...Oh, wait.

He probably can't understand that I'm calling him, can he?

Fuck.

When you regain your balance, you turn around and make a desperate dash back for the waypoint. The ground rumbles, and rocky spikes shoot up from underneath you (courtesy of the samachurl, no doubt). You skirt around them, and they crumble, but you can hear shouts in hilichurlian behind you. You put on a burst of speed. Soon, the pounding of your heart and the panting of your breath drown out all other sounds.

That's why, when you crest a slight hill, you let out an unholy screech as yet another masked figure appears in your field of vision. Immediately, you swerve the other direction, but you barely move another step before a firm hand clamps down on your shoulder.

"Uwoug. You'll xgovxxo more of them."

You do a double take, and your heart nearly stops in relief. "Xiao," you breathe.

It's hard to tell if it's because of his temperament or not, but the adeptus doesn't seem very happy to see you.

He came to your rescue, there's no doubt about that. Once you realize it's him, you feel safe enough to risk a glance over your shoulder at your enemies. But they're simply... gone. All traces of them have vanished completely, as if the attack existed purely in your imagination.

Obliterated, your mind supplies, in a mixture of fear and awe. You've never been gladder that this is not an imposter au.

As soon as the thought crosses your mind, though, your arm is roughly grabbed. "Hey!" you exclaim out of reflex, and the masked face snaps to yours so quickly that you instinctively shut your mouth. It could just be the eerie glow of the eyes, but you somehow get the feeling that he's glaring at you. When you don't say anything further, he makes a derisive noise and turns around. However, as he drags you to a nearby cave, removes his mask, and pins you with a piercing golden stare (that's even scarier than the mask, honestly), it's hard to tell where you stand with him.

"What are you doing?" he asks sharply.

The question roots you to the spot, not because of its content, but because it feels like forever since you've heard an entire coherent sentence from someone. The fact that it's being directed at you angrily by one of your favorite characters is secondary. It takes you a minute to absorb it, because inside your head, you're already celebrating. I was right! Xiao's at level seven! My friendship level theory was right!

The adeptus is not in the mood to wait for your celebration, though. "Vubwro," he says sternly. "Why are you here?"

You blink. "Ah- sorry. Um- by accident?"

He furrows his brow. "By what?"

"...accident...?" When the crease in his brow only grows, you realize he must not be able to understand that word. "Oh. Well, I tried to use one of the waypoints to get to the harbor, but it didn't work. Somehow I ended up here instead."

You expect him to maybe sigh or call you an idiot, but he just shakes his head, expression unchanging. "Not that," he says, sounding irritated. It's a sharp contrast to the way everyone else has spoken to you. "Why are you back?"

The question seems to hold a certain gravity. Your excitement fades. "...Back?"

He gives a single nod. Your chest tightens, and the ominous feeling you've been getting recently returns in flash. "Um... I don't know what you mean," you admit slowly.

"What?" His gaze narrows even further, and he opens his mouth before closing it again. "Xyob here," he says brusquely, before vanishing.

Numbly, you lean against the cave wall, turning the question over in your head. 'Back'? What does he mean? I haven't been here before. ...Moreover, the way he's acting... could it be...? You gulp.

Several minutes pass before there's a flash of pale green light, and the yaksha appears before you again. Before you can say a word, he sinks to one knee and bows his head. "I udykapaso. It's an varal to make your ugroxryoetgo, Your Grace," he says coolly.

You can barely make heads or tails of the fragmented sentence beyond 'Your Grace', but the complete reversal in attitude is enough to leave you gaping. "...What?"

"Which xvos did you not hroxwvuhre, Your Grace?" he says patiently, without raising his head. His tone exudes a strange sense of neutrality devoid of its previous emotion. It's... unnerving, to say the least.

"Wait. No, wait. What? What is this?? Who are you, and what did you do with Xiao?"

"I am Xiao, Your Grace."

"No, no. Where's that other guy I talked to? The one who was mad at me? That was Xiao."

"...That was me." You notice he doesn’t deny the part about being mad.

"...Are you actually a whopperflower?"

"Am I a what?"

"So you are?!"

"No, I am not," he says firmly, and this time you catch a familiar rough edge in his voice. So it is him.

"Then what's with all... this? Why are you so calm and... nice all of a sudden, when you were definitely not happy to see me before? ...Also, stand up."

He does. "It is krylxar to rvugrag yourself with, Your Grace. I was runoxwyq."

You purse your lips. You didn't understand much of that, but your mind is too preoccupied to try and break it down. You're almost scared to hear the answer, but you want... no, you need to know if it's a possibility. "...Did you think I was someone else?"

The question hangs in the air for a moment. Xiao folds his arms and gives you a long, searching look. "No," he says finally. "I could never." His words hold no hint of insincerity or falsehoods.

Your brow furrows in confusion. "Then-"

"I will not be krynousw more on this," he snaps.

You raise your hands in surrender. "Okay." Whatever is behind his sudden change in demeanor, it's obviously a touchy subject, and you would never force him to tell you. You've heard all you needed.

An awkward silence falls over the cave. You have no idea what's going through the yaksha's mind, but for your part, you're trying to piece together everything that's happened since your first encounter.

The way he treats you is undeniably different than the others you've met so far. Is it a Liyue thing, or an adeptus thing, or a Xiao thing? First brash, and now more formal... yet still lacking the unquestioning respect and adoration of Mondstadters. Most baffling is the fact that he claimed to know who you were the entire time. You believe him - but you have no idea what to make of it. Nor were you expecting these sorts of complications right off the bat with the first person you can (almost) properly communicate with.

It's painfully ironic: the first one you can comprehend is the one you understand the least.

You sigh. You don't know how you were expecting your first meeting with Xiao to go, but like every other part of your journey so far, this definitely wasn't it. You can't begin to fathom what sort of relationship the two of you have. It doesn't seem to be a good one. Maybe something's different for characters you've built and travelled with - which would explain why you had a different reception in Mondstadt - but you can't think of what or why it would be. It doesn't seem like he's about to tell you, either.

At the very least, though, no matter what he might be hiding, he didn't hate you enough to leave you at the mercy of the hilichurls earlier. You owe him for that. "Thank you for coming to help me."

He exhales and gives a slight nod before turning to face you fully. "What are you doing in reiuem xwvon?" he asks, more calmly than before.

"In where?"

"...Here."

"Um, that doesn't really- never mind, not important. I think I mentioned this earlier, but I'm not here on purpose...... you look confused."

"I can't hroxwvuhre half of the whvab you say," he responds bluntly, reminding you of your glaring communication problem. "Try using vupsqyw ones."

"...Using what ones?"

"Vuywou," he says, and when you shake your head, "Small."

"Small ones?" Small words? You turn this over in your head for a moment. Breaking it down, you feel like you've actually been able to understand a majority of what he's said, but he's right. Most of the words you recognize are short and fall into very basic English. Alright, then. You can work with that. It's hard to say exactly where friendship levels draw the line, but better Razor language than sorry.

"Okay," you start off, "I did not try to be here." You give him a questioning glance, and he nods for you to continue. "I used a... thing. I tried to go to the-" you pause, debating whether 'harbor' falls into basic English and deciding it probably doesn't- "...place. Not here - place with water and boats." He shakes his head in confusion, and you wave it off. "I tried to go to a place, but the thing took me here. I don't know why." Stupid waypoint.

The adeptus takes a minute to absorb this information. "Which... thing did you use?"

A lightbulb goes off in your brain, and you squat down, tracing your finger in the dirt. "This thing."

He seems to be trying hard to hide his exasperation when he repeats, "Yes. Which thing?"

"Which one?" Does it matter? Well, for all you know, it does. "Uh, the one at Wangshu Inn."

"Try again."

"Um... the one at the hotel? No? Okay... the one at the place, with... the food you like?"

Xiao bristles, and for the first time - if only for a fraction of a second - you get the strong sense you know what he's thinking. If you showed up, he had expected to meet you there. "You were there? When?"

"Just now."

"How?"

You shrug. "I came with people. From-" you sigh- "place."

He mulls this over, narrowing his gaze. "If you didn't try to be here, why did you not go back?"

"Because I can't. That's why I was hoping you could help me," you respond. "The thing here didn't work."

At long last, you've been able to steer the conversation around to the reason you summoned him in the first place. Moreover, the act of conversing itself has been going a lot better now, if you do say so yourself. This is progress. This is good. It's a great feeling, like you're finally making some headway through the chaotic mess you've found yourself in.

And then the yaksha brings you crashing down again.

"Then you can't leave."

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin sagau #genshin xiao #lbbynfs

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saphirered · 5 months

Note

Sending you a spice request from the prompts list! Steamy baths with Eris ;) can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Okay I may have gone a little filthy with this one. I'll own up to my spot in horny jail with the rest of you. 😘

It’s been a long day. The sun has yet barely reached it’s highest point and Eris is this close from incinerating the room for a moment of peace. Instead he is stuck dealing with the woes of politics, of presenting himself like an arrogant bastard, which he is admittedly but that does not mean he should let himself give in and speak his mind so freely. He has a reputation to uphold, a game to play and a throne to earn and until he sits upon it he shall play this game, however much it might annoy him to death. He will restrain the wildfire until freedom beckons. Oh how he longs for that freedom. His imagination gives him some escape and drowns out the useless words of bickering nobility.

He may sit at his father’s side but his mind is elsewhere, far from this council room in a distant court. Instead Eris finds himself in the vast forests he calls home. The leaves crunch beneath his feet, the smell of the autumn air relaxes his mind and body. The cooling breeze turns his fingertips slightly cold and numb. He finally feels like he can breathe. There is no eyes to be wary of. There is a presence beside him, some incoherent and far too distant words and he wishes nothing more than to have those words overshadow what his senses back in the real world pick up on. He would recognise that voice anywhere. You’re right beside him. Memory replays the feeling of your hand in his, your fingers warming that gentle chill. He looks to his side and there you are, smiling. What a beautiful smile you have. What beautiful eyes. He could drown in their depth. He could be lost forever if you did not snap him out of it. No that wasn’t you. His name was called by different voice, one intrusive and unwanted. He’s pushed back to reality, away from you and he mourns the lack of your presence. The only relief his mind offers is the knowledge he will see you soon.

You had known the promise he’d be back in your arms before you knew it was an empty one. You would never fault him for it. Eris, while a man of his word, could not control the circumstances of his extended life and responsibilities. Perhaps you might claim he was foolishly optimistic, but then again, he’s probably also aware of this fact and so it must be not but wishful thinking. Instead of a swift return to your side to watch the sunset you witnessed it on your own. Instead of a lovely dinner together you consumed your supper at the mostly empty table with the others left behind and excluded from the inter-court meetings. Not that you complain. You would rather be here enjoying a peaceful meal than deal with the bickering and moaning of idiots, vipers and idealists. You will attend if asked but will not mourn the lack of invitation.

You’ve other means to keep busy and you are not one to sit around and wait for someone to whisk you away and so you did. You tended to the hounds, read up on the latest ongoings, socialised here and there, trained, made yourself useful, saw to your correspondence, went out for a ride, helped tend to the gardens and more. You kept busy on your own but every once in a while your mind would wander and think what your darling love would be up to, how he must be fighting the urge to roll his eyes or verbally tear apart another, how he must be polishing his shields both social and mental and weave a narrative that puts him at the advantage. You know Eris pretends it doesn’t affect him but you know the truth. You have seen him sit on the edge of the bed, his hands in his hair. You’ve watched him politely excuse himself to unleash the boiling of his blood upon some poor unsuspecting clearing. You have listened to his rambling about courtiers and high lords. You have held him when he questioned if it was all worth it.

It is because of these things you know you do not mind the lack of his constant attention. In fact, you do not think you could bear it in the first place. So you dine without your lover, you find your own amusement come sundown. In the spirit of this time to yourself you have the staff draw you a bath. If you are to spend this night alone you will do so in comfort. A bath will ease the ache of your muscle and soothe your skin quite nicely. That’s where you find yourself now, a large bath filled with steaming water, the scent of bergamot in the air. You’ve sunken down to your neck, leaning back and enjoying the warmth. You’ve sent off the maids with the implication you will tend to yourself and do not need to be coddled by their nurturing grace. Peace and quiet and solitude, that’s what you require and that’s what you shall get. Your mind wanders far and pleasantly so. You forget the meaning of time and the water must have long since cooled to a lukewarm but you care little.

“We shall conclude this meeting some other time.” Eris had both dreaded and longed for those words. The meeting has finally ended and so he is finally dismissed. It ended up taking another hour or so before he could detach himself from his own entanglement, before he could escape further dealings with the Night Court and turning down Helion’s open invitation to visit the esteemed libraries once more. Finally he left behind the blabbering high lords’ council and found himself back int he comforts of cool darkness graced with lantern light. The feeling of leaves crushing beneath his boots is a stark contrast from the marble and stone he’d been surrounded by for the day. He has missed the sunset but the stars breaking through the clouds offer some relief at last.

With each step the takes, even after he walks through the threshold and back into wood and stone, the burdens stay at the doorstep, the further he gets from it, the more his body relaxes, or so he thinks. Everything feels easier. He chooses to ignore those in passing, using his power within his own court to brush them aside; nothing out of character for him. Nothing anyone can blame him for either. They expect him to be upset with another meeting ending in a stalemate waste of time. Let the court know. He will turn it to his advantage either way. Finally the portal to his comfort comes within sight and had he less restraint he might have ran and locked away the world behind him forever. Instead he slips through the doors quietly and closes them behind him.

The candles are alight. The fireplace is but embers at this point. He simply throws in another log. A simple breath of air sparks the flames to life and allow them to catch. When the wood crackles Eris is satisfied. With whatever graces he found within him he carries himself to the bedroom, discards his shoes and socks, letting the cold run through his feet in an attempt to remind himself he is not but floating upon the winds of exhaustion. He unclasps his tailored jacket and casts it aside as if it were not the livelihood of the ones who made it. He has lost the will to care. He could have collapsed onto the bed when he first laid eyes on it but the gentle candle glow from the bathing room kept him standing.

With a soft creak the door opens and within lies a sight beholden, a true treasure and one that should be captured for eternity. Perhaps he would owe the High Lady of Night a favour if that’s what it took to eternalise this. Perhaps the only thing stopping him is how you’d scold him for it. Perhaps he fears it might inflate your ego far past measure. Your eyes are closed. You are leaned back, head just above the water and neck fully exposed. The light graces your features just perfectly as it reflects.

“The bed is far better suited for sleeping than a bathtub. No matter how comfortable you might look.” Eris slowly makes his way over to you. You take a deep breath and open your eyes. Your eyes. He forgets all he’s endured with but a single glance. Sadly this only lasts but a second.

“You are quite right but I’m not tired. Just relaxed.” You let your fingers dance over the surface of the water. “You should try it some time, my love.” Even now you find it within yourself to humour him.

“Some of us do not have the luxury to relax this much. I shall reserve and defend that right for you and you alone.” He takes your hand and brings it to his lips to kiss but then realises. “The water is awfully cold.” he simply states, still he kisses your fingertips.

“Well I didn’t have you here to help me warm it.” The sultry look you give him has him nearly undone in that instant. How he’s longed for your company. The once certainty that keeps him from insanity in the chaos; the serenity you bring but what rushes through him right there is anything but serene and the implications you present are anything but innocent. Eris forgets the tiredness that haunted his body and finds a different spark of life. You’ve learned to light it, made an art form out of it.

“How unbecoming of me.” He’s on his knees at the side of the tub and gently brings your fingers back beneath the surface of the cooling water. With but a brush from right where your legs are bent, all the way to just in front of your chest the water heats in but seconds, steam evaporating but those fingers do not stop trailing there. they trail a scalding but never painful path up your sternum and the column of your neck until they settle and lift your chin. That same heat burns in the kiss he plants upon your lips. Far too short. His lips pull away far too quickly and you might as well have been exposed to the frigid cold of winter then and there. By the looks of it Eris know it too.

“If you are in no mood to assist me, I suppose I shall simply retire.” You rise exposing all the delicious curves of your body and giving him an ample view as the droplets run across your skin. Eris imagines he could kiss them all away, let his lips trail across you like they do and perhaps you shall grace him with the lovely sounds you make when he takes his lips to you.

“You misunderstand, my dearest. But if you wish to cut short this bath I am more than willing and consenting to helping you to bed. Or we can stay here and enjoy a bath… or two.” You seem to weigh your options but simply by the way your pupils dilate; the way they do when he’s broken through your composure, to where your desire truly sparks and you will not be afraid to make him eat his words.

You do not reply in words but simply hold out your hand and raise an eyebrow. Eris is quick to take your hand and help you out of the bathtub. You are dripping onto the floor but seem to care very little as you saunter over to the towels. The sway of your hips and sultry look over your shoulder are definitely intentional. Nevertheless you take a towel and pad yourself dry until he can’t help himself and gently eases the towel from you and equally gently uses it to pad you dry until you’re satisfied. Once you are you stand in front of him, close within arm’s reach. You trail a nail along the neckline of his shirt and sigh content. The wickedness in your eyes is but a giveaway of your next actions. Your fingers grasp onto his shirt and pull him to you, once more your lips meet his and this time the kiss is anything but soft and sweet.

Your lips grace his in a feverish kiss. Eris does not hesitate to return the favour. He lets his hands wander until they settle on your behind. In one fell swoop you are off your feet and wrap your legs around his waist. Never once do you break your kiss. Your tongues meet and you wrap your arms around his neck clutching him ever closer. Like he has done many times before, Eris caries you out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, graceful as ever and never once stumbling. He has committed this path to memory but finally he has to break away. You are a sight to behold; lips swollen, out of breath, and eyes filled with desire honing in on him. He takes great pride in being able to make you come so undone. he lays you down on the bed and you crawl backwards to give him space to join you among the pillows.

Eris crawls overtop, trailing a path of kisses from your calves over your knees and thighs and you think, you hope he would settle among the apex of your legs but instead he just looks up at you and trails his lips up further across the plains of your stomach. It’s difficult to resist the urge to whine in protest and by the looks of it he noticed. Still he trails up and up until he meets your lips in another desire filled kiss so you decide fair is fair and let your hands wander over his clothed chest, down to where his shirt is tucked into the waistband of his fitted trousers and let your finger slip below that cursed waistband but never enough. All you do is release the shirt and Eris decides to undo your torture by taking it off entirely with a knowing look.

“If you wished to get my out of my clothes you could have just asked.” He muses casting the garment aside. It’s torture to keep yourself together right now and not just succumb to carnal pleasure. This is just foreplay and it’s a game you’d hoped to win but you see your chances of success fleeting. To see him on his knees before you, cauldron boil you.

“Dick.” You curse and his chuckle does not make you feel any different.

“You’ll have to work harder for that.” He crawls back overtop just to place a peck upon your lips. When you go in for more, you feel his hand on your neck, to keep you at bay. His grip isn’t strong or suffocating, just present, floating and preventing your lips from meeting his. You huff.

Eris’ response to your dissatisfaction is cruelty, he knows. Leaving kisses, letting his tongue trail he takes to your chest until you cannot hold back the whimpers and moans, until you fight to hold back the beg for more, only then does he trail lower yet always too slow. But then finally, it all pays off when he descends between your legs and puts his mouth to work, licking and kissing your inner thighs inching closer to the centre, until finally he does. He does not relent, not when your breathing increases and your whines turn to whispers of his name, not when your fingers settle within his hair and hold on, push him closer. When your legs wrap closer around him he grasps onto your thighs, spreading them further while placing a hand onto your abdomen just in the right place. He doesn’t relent when he feels you shudder and shake in your pleasure, not until you come down from that high and your body goes limp for but a second.

He keeps going and soon without a moment of rest you tumble into pure ecstasy again and again. Only when you pull his hair, pull his face away from between your legs, when you are truly out of breath and your eyes are burning, your skin is on fire and you have lost the ability to speak, only then does he relent. You guide him up, to meet his lips. He knows you can taste yourself on his tongue when his dances with yours. He knows you need this right now. It’s the only break you’ll receive, especially when he feels your hands wander down below and undo the buttons of his pants. His own arousal is undeniable and while he would be more than satisfied using his tongue to make you cry his name, you have other intentions and ideas he’s more than happy to help you see through even if it takes all his restraint not to spill at your touch and your disheveled look when he parts and you help him out of his last clothes, casting them aside he cares not where.

You have vengeance on your mind and when he is caught of guard, when you are so close to kissing him you push him back onto the bed and straddle him. Your fingers lace with his as you hold them on either side of his head. You lean down to kiss him once more with a wicked smirk. Perhaps it would be you who wouldn’t be done with him for some time.

#acotar x reader #eris x reader #acotar eris #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra #eris acotar #acotar #acotar fanfiction

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honey-minded-hivemind · 6 months

Text

Okay, this is probably the only au for X-Men Evolution I'll make that isn't a reboot/reimagining. This idea, which I'm sure plenty of people have had, is this:

What if someone from our world/a darker version of our world ended up in the show?

Somehow the reader, who is from what I will call Earth 2020, ends up in X-Men Evolution, possibly dying on Earth 2020 and somehow being dropped into the series proper. And for the reader, they're a mix of emotions, but one stands out the most: Sheer, utter PANIC. They're likely dead, aren't anywhere they've been before, don't have any papers or documents, and are in a world set in 2000 where superpowers are real and adults try to kill kids on a near daily basis. Bby is going through a panic attack as they check what's with them, finding that the good news is they had all their saved money with them in their satchel, but nothing else of much use besides a calligraphy pen, pepper spray, and a ticket with a date that hasn't even happened in this world.

Reader knows they could try to get involved, could pretty much do whatever they wanted, help or hurt or anything they want with the knowledge they have... But... they'd rather do the right thing. They compile notes, writing down every major event of the series for both the X-Men and Brotherhood, warning them about things like Apocalypse, Sentinels, Hydra, Weapon X being back in commission, pointing out the things that should be avoided, such as brainwashing your daughter, tossing children off of cliffs, threatening a bunch of teenagers, manipulating everyone, etc. ... but reader also mentions ways they can change the worst of it from happening and begging them to help Laura and the Morlocks. And then adds final notes, the bad things that could happen throughout the next twenty years, from 9/11, the wars in Europe and the Middle East, the pandemic of Covid, the wildfires in North America and Australia, terrorist attacks in different parts of the globe, tsunamis and hurricanes and tornadoes, pretty much every disaster, they list it, when it was supposed to happen, and pleads to stop it, or alert someone who could... By the time reader is done writing down every disaster and crisis that they remember, they have piles of notes, even some with theories. And finally, the reader sends the notes, praying for the best. Then they promptly go to hide out in some small town far away from everything, because they fear what happens if someone finds out how they know everything and where they're from... If it doesn't end well for other people, who's to say it would end well for reader?

The X-Men and Brotherhood get the notes, and are more or less shocked, because what they have is about twenty years worth of disasters listed, with notes about what specifically happens regarding them. But, for some reason, they decide to listen, wondering if perhaps the writer of the notes was like Destiny, a mutant who could see the future... And somehow, things go better. Less tossing kids around and off of things, helping the Morlocks find a safer place to live, freeing Laura, and destroying the Sentinels before they are finished, it all happens, and everyone is relieved to know that they've avoided whatever was supposed to happen. Yet... where is the person who warned them? So begins the search for reader...

And reader ends up in Bayville, somehow. Apparently they're now in the foster system, developed a mutation (they wonder how that's possible, how would that work, they aren't from that world- ) and so far have been doing their best to get by. It helped that they lived through what was basically a dystopian world, since they know useful tricks for their survival, and with a mutation, hopefully that can keep them alive for just a bit longer.. They end up in the highschool, having to do everything in their power not to feel tense and have a break down. They're in the town where everyone else is in, they only have themself to rely on, and they have too much knowledge of everything around them, plus an ability that could alert others of them. They're glad they helped, elated even, but... anxiety still worms its way inside them. They don't know how to deal with their own thoughts and the world around them, every bit of knowledge sending them spiraling. Because if someone finds out it was them... then what? When do people ever take things like that well, that someone knew, that they're from a whole other world, and that they haven't done much else to do anything? Reader stays alert and tired, but keeps going. Besides all the crushing fear and loneliness, the 2000s are a lot better than 2020: lower cost of living, lower prices on food, less gun violence, less rioting, less noise...

Then, I guess with the help of Caliban or Jean, maybe even Xavier, the reader is discovered. And the two groups have to take a minute. The person who wrote the notes... is some scrawny teenager who trembles whenever someone talks to them, and jumps at the slightest noise? It's confusing. They were expecting someone older, maybe a time traveler, not... whoever this is. And the moment any of them try to approach, the kid just gets wide eyes and tries to get lost, avoiding anyone in the school like the plague. But, they finally are able to corner them and talk... And what they find is... terrifying.

From what they're able to find out from the reader, who's trembling like a leaf and trying not to cry, they're not from around there, they saw things happen, bad things, and thought if they gave a warning, it might help. And what Jean and/or Xavier can read from their mind is downright nightmarish, images of violence and memories of hate, of people hurting them, of destroying others, of a world filled with violence ad wars and plagues running rampant, anything and everything seemingly out to end their survival... Even how they ended up there, a hazy, near-forgotten memory of water and silt in their lungs and the world fading to black, a hand holding forcing them under... And all they can feel for them is sympathy, empathy in some cases, horror at what absolute H*ll they lived through... They offer aid, thanking them for helping them...

And the reader is just... relieved, that no one wants them dead. Hoping that this world truly doesn't want them dead, that they can breathe and not fear for their life...

The characters are glad that the reader is on their side, and isn't some evil genius bent on the destruction of mutants... but it isn't easy to know that the person who helped them lived in a world that sounded and looked like H*ll, and then eventually died, in one of the worst ways to go... And they can't help but feel a little protective of them, a little worried. Sure, their new ally is also a mutant, but they also barely know anything about their powers or how to handle normalcy, used to fighting for themself among peers... Not to mention that their new friend had to explain the reasons they kept a calligraphy pen with them, and the reason scared them, because who knew a fancy ink pen could be so dangerous-

Over time, they all grow to be platonic yandere-ish, if not fully platonic yandere. Reader helped them, it's only fair they repay that kindness. And they don't have to worry about them going back to the h*llscape they called home. It's not like they were going to let them go back, even if they could. Best to not think too deep on leaving, though. They aren't leaving, ever...

(I've been wondering about this idea for awhile now, and I plan to make a playlist for this au, simply because why not? Expect plenty of Panic! At The Disco, and a song from Lemon Demon😊💛🧡)

Bonus:

Reader, staring at the handful of adults for the Brotherhood: For Best Parent of the Brotherhood, at least in the original timeline, I think?, I nominate... Lance

Adults: What? Why him? He's a teenager!

Reader: Well, originally, Mr. Lehnsherr seems to only showed up when he wants something, instead of being there to help his kids, let alone everyone else, and leaves the kids on their own, Mystique had threatened them, left them on their own with no supervision, and tried to toss children off of cliffs, and Mr. Victor doesn't have kids as far as I know, but if he is related to Mr. Logan, I'm not sure he had been a good parent or brother or whatever he is, due to capturing him for the person who put a control chip in his head, and also trying to kill him. So, that leaves the other acolytes. Who are never here. And also tried to kill the kids. Yeah, so, that leaves the actual Broterhood teens. And the only one who has acted anywhere near enough to keeping them alive and taking care of the group's needs is... Lance. So, by default, if not by actual execution, the winner of Best Brotherhood Parent is Lance. Good job👍

Adult Brotherhood Members: Wait, we did WHAT?!

Acolytes: Thank heavens we aren't parents

Erik: I did WHAT to Wanda?!

Mystique: I tricked my own daughter, and lost both her and Kurt?!

...

Victor: Wait, I'm Logan's what now?!

Reader: That might only be a theory, I'm not sure...

One DNA test later...

Test: positive

Victor:😳☹👀

Reader: Well... in my defense, I only thought it was a theory... Um... Should I say sorry, or congratulations?

Extra Bonus:

Reader, presenting each character with a gift: This is hand-made, so I did my best. I'm sorry if you don't like it🎁

Everyone: It can't be that bad opens their gifts

Everyone:

Reader: Do you like it? I'm not the best at this stuff, but, I did read three different books a few months ago... And spent the last three weeks working on these...

Everyone, holding an oddly-made crocheted scarf with their theme/colors: trying not to cry Its... nice puts it on🧣😭

Also them: Don't ever leave, please🥺☹

Reader: Um... I wasn't planning on it

Everyone: Good... because we aren't joking. If you leave, we will find you

Reader, realizing that maybe something might have just changed: Um... that's... sweet... worrying now if they're in danger😟

Everyone: 😊🥰😍💖

#honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere marvel #yandere platonic marvel #platonic yandere marvel x reader #platonic yandere xmen #yandere x-men #platonic yandere #platonic yandere x reader #platonic yandere xmen evolution #xmen evolution #Earth 2020

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thgfanfictionlibrary · 4 months

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Authors On THG Writing Hiatus Masterlist

***Active (on this blog) is defined as a blog/writer who has updated within the past year. Inactive (on this blog) is defined as a blog/writer that has not been updated at all in the past year+. On THG Writing Hiatus (on this blog) is a blog/writer who has updated within the past year but has not posted a fanfic in the fandom in the past year BUT they may return to writing in the future. Lists will be updated as needed based on activity. ***

Created: January 5th, 2024

Last Checked:----

ashyblondwaves :: ao3, ff.net

Popular fic: Synchronicity: A collection of one shots and stories examining Katniss and Peeta's relationship post-Mockingjay. Peeta's POV.

atetheredmind :: ao3, tumblr

Popular Fic: The Act: The Victors are a new, up-and-coming band on a meteoric rise to stardom propelled by Katniss Everdeen's ethereal voice, Peeta Mellark's guitar-slinging charm, and the duo's undeniable chemistry on stage. Too bad they hate each other. (@muttpeeta)

bookmarkedpage :: ao3, tumblr

Popular Fic: The Mockingjay is Hijacked: After the arena for the third Quarter Quell comes crumbling down, Katniss and Finnick are captured and taken to the Capitol. Snow plans to make examples of them in live, televised trials, to show the rest of Panem what will happen to those found guilty of aiding the rebels.

booksrockmyface aka HGfanonezillion :: ao3, ffnet, tumblr (general), Everlark Birthday Gifts

Popular Fic: Worry is CallingHow can a person go on when the love of their life is ripped away from them and they are forced to marry someone else? This is the dilemma Katniss, Peeta, Finnick, and Annie must all face. And only whispers of revolution could possibly bring them back together. But will there be a chance for reuniting after years of marriage to someone else? (@booksrockmyface)

chele20035 :: ao3, ffnet, tumblr

Popular Fic: Twisted: Katniss is so excited, Prim finally made it medical school, on a full scholarship too. What sisters don't expect is how much it all costs. When Katniss goes looking for a part time job, it leads her to photographer, Peeta Mellark. (@chele20035)

dandelionsandberries :: ao3, ff.net, tumblr

Popular Fic: Netflix & Chill: When her best friend ask Katniss to come to his dorm to watch a movie, she’s simply happy to spend a night chilling. But when her roommate insinuates he means something completely different, she begins to worry. And, perhaps, hope for something more. Written for Prompts in Panem Round 8 Day 2 and Day 4.

Demona424 :: ao3, tumblr archive, tumblr post

Popular Fic: The Surrogate: In the Capitol it’s all the rage, your own personal sex surrogate. When you’re rich, why not get one or two to fit all your marriage needs. Sometimes having sex with your spouse can be just so boring, but you can bring the spice back into your lives with someone who will do whatever you please. And with a surrogates from every district to choose from, you can have whomever you choose.

dracoisalooker76 :: ao3, ffnet, tumblr

Popular Fic: Anywhere I Would Have Followed You: A drunken kiss at a Christmas party starts five months worth of firsts for college junior Katniss Everdeen and begins a journey she's not entirely sure she wants to go on. Banner by Ro Nordmann.

ellembee :: ao3, ff.net, tumblr

Popular Fic: All the World Drops Dead: Peeta’s voice has been inside her head since she turned 14. She doesn’t know why they share a connection, and she doesn’t care. She likes having him with her. They comfort each other. Protect each other. Until he goes where she cannot follow. Until he enters the arena. (Based loosely on the film “In Your Eyes.”)

merciki :: ao3, ff.net, tumblr

Popular Fic: The Firebird: Meet Katniss Everdeen, who has only one dream. Become the best dancer at the National Ballet. There's only one problem. She's too closed off to really give a heartfelt performance. Could a tango dancer coming into her life change that? Read if you want to find out :)

#masterlist #everlark fanfiction #thg fanfiction #everlark #thg #writing-hiatus authors #writing-hiatus #writing-hiatus authors masterlist

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utytimeline · 3 months

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Thoughts on UTY (Pacifist Version)

Reactions from when I first played Pacifist, and observations I made as the game progressed. A lot of these will be outdated by the time I get this list compiled, but it’s a faithful list of my reactions. No spoilers, plz. I haven’t done Geno, betrayal kills, or boss kills yet. (I kinda don’t want to, these are my babies.)

Long post ahead.

Ruins

Questions

Clover is the narrator, aren't they? I don’t think Chara’s even in this game.

What happens if we don't leave a tip at the lemonade stand?

Is there a way to wake Decibat after he goes to sleep? (I know that's cruel, I'm just curious.)

Dalv keeps talking about a friend, talking like he thinks he will meet them again- Kanako?

Dalv is mistaking us for the human that attacked him, isn't he? The one that made Chujin decide to kill the next human?

Who was leaving Dalv corn? My best guess is Ceroba- that she's felt sorry for him this whole time.

How to look in Dalv's locked doors/drawers? (Probably have to kill him. That... is gonna hurt. I like Dalv, he's a sweetheart.)

Observations

Decibat's music volume decreases the more you stay silent. (Which makes me think all battle music is being generated by Clover, not the monster.)

"Penilla draws near." (Italics added for emphasis.) *facepalm*

"Rorrim" is "mirror" spelled backwards.

Also, "Dalv" is "Vlad" spelled backwards, so might Rorrim be Dalv's personal mirror? Seems to fit, Dalv is extremely tidy.

Dalv's furniture's "fine craftsmanship" is probably Chujin's work.

Other Thoughts

I feel like a sponge cake with 2x absorption should have an effect where it absorbs damage for at least 2 turns.

Snowdin

Questions

Does the Snowdin ice block ever move? The guy that comes here from the Dunes just stands there and does nothing. Perhaps I need to check very late in the game, return from the last SAVE in New Home or something.

What kind of creature is Mo? I looked it up, and all I can find is "he looks like a raccoon." Yeah, I can see that, but he's kinda reddish-brown, so maybe a red panda? I also considered the possibility that Mo could be a tanuki, a Japanese raccoon-dog (and yes, it looks like a raccoon) that supposedly tricks people, especially tricking them into buying drinks- and Mo is a drink salesman.

What are we to make of the human on the wanted poster that Marty describes? She said they wore a hat like ours, but they came from space. I can’t think of a single equippable UT item that seems outer spacey. And since she’s describing a wanted poster, I don’t think she’s talking about Red (the monster she thought was a human). My first guess is that some monsters may equate the Surface with outer space, since they’ve never seen either (and many monsters are obsessed with the stars- Starlo and all the monsters making wishes in Waterfall, for instance).

Observations

Flowey: "We won't be anywhere near your fancy surface air for a while." (Italics added for emphasis.) He sounds... jealous? This was when I first realized that Flowey's only playing nice, but I still have no clue what he’s really planning.

"Snowy" is just barely recognizable in "Snowfall."

Mo's theme is easy to recognize because not only does it use the Sega Genesis soundfont, it even includes the Michael Jackson whoop from Sonic 3&K.

Ice Wolf was when I started to realize that Yellow isn't that long before UT. (Yeah, I know, Flowey should've been my first clue, but I simply assumed he couldn’t be Asriel, that he was someone else that somehow turned into a flower. Anything can happen in these games, after all.)

The Shufflers are all named after things you do with a drink: Toast, Swig, and my favorite, their leader Rephil (Refill).

The Shufflers scold Clover for starting a fight, but later Axis is the one trying to drag us into a fight. I guess battles can go either way.

Shopkeepers have full animations, it's not just facial expressions.

Yellow finally gives us real puzzles. Some of them even take a bit to solve.

Flowey makes a comment about mailing ourselves to Asgore. He clearly already knows about resets, so I think it’s likely that he’s seen the moment (at the end of The Dunes) that the whales start shipping people by mail.

Other Thoughts

Frostermit is so adorable. I need a Frostermit plushie.

Mo makes me think of what Spamton must have been like before Gaster (no, I'm not suggesting a connection, just that's what he made me think of- but given the other, more obvious DR inspirations throughout the game, I think it’s possible they were going for that kind of character).

Headcanon: Insomintot is related to Knight-Knight. They both inherited a genetic tendency to fall asleep when a human sings.

I love the UGPS jingle, it's so cute.

"(The remnants of a snowman. Once full of life. Now full of potential for new life.)" This line is a little creepy, to me. Clover may not realize it, they're probably just joking, but WE know that some snowmen in the Underground are alive, and I'm wondering what happened to this one.

I don't know if it's the same soundfont, but the Honeydew Resort theme reminds me of Final Fantasy: Mysticquest.

I actually picked "minor scales" when talking to the cellist at the resort, because I actually do like minor scales.

Being a Shadow the Hedgehog fan (the character, not just the game), I got a chuckle out of the description of coffee bean ammo. What do you mean, you can't eat the beans???

I haven't actually noticed any 4th wall moments, but Martlet's message on the second ball puzzle, the message that apologizes for making it too high to see and says the human must be very good at guessing, makes me think it's a very obscure allusion to the fact that Clover is being possessed by the player. There aren't enough moments like that in this game for me to go all crazy with lore and theories, but it's a nice touch to see such an allusion.

In all fairness, Marty has some craftsmanship abilities. Unfinished, shoddy workmanship notwithstanding, it still takes some knowledge of mechanics to make a water-powered door lock.

I just love Marty, she’s so sweet, I want her to be my little sister.

Waterfall

Questions

Why does the Royal Guard bother to survey their prisoners on “auditory ambiance” and things like that when they’re just gonna deliver the SOUL to Asgore??? I mean, isn’t the victim (except Red, apparently) usually dead before they get this far???

Observations

Not sure, but I’m guessing this is a different river than the one we travel with River Person. Not only do we never meet River Person, but the colors of the ground and plants behind Ava look like the marshy sections of Waterfall that we never get to walk in.

Other Thoughts

I love how we never actually visit Waterfall (unless you count the post-credits scene), we just float past it. Acknowledgement of the source material without actually copying it. And gave them that much more time and room to include an entirely new area (2, if you count the Wild East as separate from the Dunes).

The mention of a Royal Scientist threw me off. I totally did not expect Alphys, I thought this game took place many years before UT, and I’ve seen no Gaster references in this game at all.

The Dunes

Questions

More of a complaint than an actual question, but… if they wanted to make a Zelda reference, WHY OH WHY did they have to do the Death Mountain rockfall???

Since the Dunes are so near Hotland, could the gigantic Swelterstone be responsible for Hotland’s heat, too?

Since El Bailador calls us a “Sentinel of Silence,” how will killing Decibat affect the fight with Bailey?

If you do well in the Bailey fight, does he stop saying you don’t love dancing as much as him?

How to move the sunbathing (wait, what sun?) cactus that blocks that one road?

Observations

The Dunes is where I noticed that the battle theme changes depending on the location.

Sea Tea still increases SOUL speed. Loved that they kept this in.

Same black slime that we met in MTT Resort Hotel. And still outraged because of an elevator. Feels like he’ll never find a working one.

Bowll being a china bowl shaped like a bull is probably a play on the phrase “a bull in a china shop.”

Clover got the green healing flowers (the ones in the Omega Flowey fight) from Violetta.

I sucked at Mew Mew Love Blaster, but I watched a walkthrough, and DID THEY SERIOUSLY GIVE MEW MEW A “BIG SHOT”?!? (Coming back to this after finishing the game, I went, “yup, they did.”)

Other Thoughts

“Vigorous Terrain” is my favorite location theme, but I still haven’t figured out whether there’s any significance in it being a remix of “Your Best Friend.”

That first tumbleweed, the one that comes rolling out of the hole in the cliff, had me like “wut?” I did love how they replaced Undyne’s rocks with tumbleweeds.

I also love the mines music. The first few notes remind me of Zelda’s Lullaby (from LOZ).

I actually missed getting a free pickaxe because the monster’s trivia question about the Royal Scientist threw me off. I still didn’t realize this took place after Asgore hired Alphys, I thought it came WAAAAY before that. (This also finally confirmed for me that Flowey is, in fact, the same one we know from UT, Asriel.)

I tried not to make a lot of comparisons to DR, considering this isn’t even canon to UT, but I did feel like the mouse attack in Bowll’s fight was very similar to that one attack in the Maus fights in DR. But I think the Maus fight itself was probably a reference to some old video game (can’t remember which one, it just always felt familiar), so maybe UTY was making the same reference.

Was stunned to see Undyne look-alikes in the Mines, was more surprised that they mentioned her, and was the most surprised to find that they’re not related.

Clover has a very cute animation for hopping in the mine cart.

I could not figure out Bailador’s fight mechanics, and tbh, I got thru it on an absolute fluke (and the silver scarf). I had to look up a walkthrough later to realize you have to move into the right space AND press the action button when the color lights up. I thought it was just being in the right space. Every rhythm game controls differently, it seems.

Wild East

Questions

Do mail whales keep notebooks full of potential rhymes, like Marty and her notebook full of puzzle ideas?

Is “designated naptime” a reference to siestas, or did Star just not want to overwork everybody?

“A ballet shoe could be lethal if used enough times.” Um. Got anything to share there, Blackjack? “Don’t question my morality! I’m not prepared to speak on it!” OKAY, I REALLY NEED YOU TO SPEAK ON IT NOW….

Can we get into the locked farm cellar? (Preferably without killing anyone?)

Observations

Animals still living in the Underground at least provides some explanation for where monsters get their food (in addition to the corn).

The BEST part about the health overcharge? You don’t lose it when you SAVE! He might be a plague doctor, but Doc works absolute miracles.

Star paid double price for the gun he bought us.

They actually take around 15 paces for the dual (I lost count). (And yes, I spelled it “dual” on purpose.)

Moray comments that Star made them walk around with a rubber snake in their boot. I looked it up, and it looks like the first and most well-known movie to use that “snake in my boot” reference really WAS Toy Story (although it has origins outside of film from farther back). So Starlo also watches animations (as long as they have cowboys).

Vengeful Virgil’s comment that not caring about others’ feelings is what makes him a villain, comes while we’re on our way to console Star after his cocky selfishness drove everyone away. This was not a coincidence.

Every monster has a magical ability, and Starlo’s is literal “bullet time” (he can slow you down).

^This also makes me wonder: remember how he flew backwards in slow-motion when we shot him in the dual? I wonder if he was using his bullet time on himself for dramatic effect.

Star’s family: his dad, Solomon (the sun), his mom, Crestina (the moon), and a brother who’s name I never found but looks like a 4-pointed star. (I’ve seen people call him Orion, so I’m going with that, for now.)

Star has several sticky notes in his dad’s almanac, and keeps dad’s almanac on his own bedroom nightstand. Seems like Star probably took his life on the farm seriously before he left home.

Star also apparently had an interest in outer space. Possibly some confusion stemming from Toy Story? (I actually started headcanoning that Toy Story got him into cowboys, and put together a fic on that.)

Not sure where the term “space cowboy” originated, or what Clover’s actually referring to when they say it about Star, but the first use of that phrase that I’m finding is a Steve Miller song from 1969 (referenced later in Steve Miller’s “The Joker” from 1973, the line that a lot of people associate with Steve Miller: “some people call me the space cowboy, some call me the gangster of love”). The phrase has been used numerous times in multiple ways since then.

Seems like Star sewed his own outfit.

Other Thoughts

Picked “no” when Star asked if monsters die when you ride them into the sun cuz I thought the whole town would converge upon me, heh.

Was honestly surprised that the dummy finally showed up. This was the first time I tried using the FIGHT option, and it turned out to be rather difficult. I am not looking forward to Neutral or Genocide.

Star tells Ceroba we’re as good of a shot as him, and she goes, “Really? A child?” Still not entirely sure whether she’s poking a bit of fun at Star, but I don’t think she is. Star doesn’t take any offense to her comment for himself, and her sprite when she speaks next, saying she’s “impressed,” looks extremely surprised. (In all fairness, despite Blackjack’s claims, Star actually is really good.)

I suck at them all, but the mini-games in UTY are all so fun.

Love the change-up to the battle animation during Feisty Four’s attack, how they switch between characters and even team up.

“A tumbleweed rolls by. It says hello.” Well, why not? I mean, the rocks and cacti are sentient.

The first mention of Kanako at The Lab had me in tears, because, like… we KNOW what happened to her.

Steamworks

Questions

“The Steamworks was the main power source of the Underground.” This statement confuses the timeline a bit for me. The Core is now the main power source of the Underground, but my understanding is that the Steamworks was operational long after Gaster died.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT LAST AWARD ON THE WALL SAYS.

Does the story change at all depending on what parts you use for Axis’ gf? (Also, I wonder how many of us just picked up the first 2 or 3 items and then realized there’s way more than 4 items to choose from and wished Ceroba would let us start over.)

Is there a way to fix the grandfather clock?

Does the grandfather clock say something different if the time on your PC actually is 6:26 on a Monday morning in spring?

Observations

Ceroba telling Clover to wait in the corner, kinda refers back to her doubting that a child could be as good of a shot as Star. She has very little respect for Clover at this point. Not entirely sure if it’s just because Clover’s a human, or if it’s also because they’re just a kid.

Don’t think I missed Flowey’s comment about The Lab. He clearly does NOT want us to go there.

Ceroba must have some kind of dimensional satchel, herself. I don’t see how else she can carry the hunkajunk we built (not to mention pulling her staff out of hammerspace).

BTW, “dihydrogen monoxide” is just water. Vendy probably just called it that to make it sound poisonous.

Vendy said their last boot up was yesterday and that their creator always comes by on Mondays to restock them. Sadly, the grandfather clock is stuck on 6:26, Monday morning. Kinda feel sorry for Vendy.

Guardener is actually nice. She even grows a flower just for the bot that came late.

Telly-Vis starts using the bullet patterns of other monsters during the “reruns” portion of the fight.

You can cheat on the Axis fight if you have the silver scarf. Just deliberately miss Axis when you ping-pong the red balls for enough turns to heal up.

I haven’t tried it yet, but I’m guessing that Ceroba would get mad and ditch you if you kill one of the robots, turning the run into a Neutral.

Other Thoughts

Screw those water puzzles at the start of Steamworks.

DAT MUSIC, THO.

I’m not gonna try to discuss Ceroba’s growing respect for us. That needs a whole analysis post of its own. (Well, everything about Ceroba needs its own analysis.)

Axis rolled in and I was like, “Oh, no, another one.” Seems like we just keep running into these darned toaster ovens on wheels.

Axis music is fire, tho, all of it.

I swear I hear some DR inspirations in the music. Haven’t learned the names for all the tracks yet, but at one point I thought I heard Digital Roots (when Ceroba’s fiddling with the generator) and at another I thought I heard Card Castle (the room where you build Axis’ gf).

A game mechanic I love: Ceroba’s shield effect (well, as long as it’s shielding Clover).

A mechanic I hate: Jandroid’s slippery floors.

I also love the manta ray ferryboat.

Mo’s level of professionalism is off-the-charts. He ain’t about to let a little thing like his clothes and his stand catching fire ruin a sales pitch.

Being a Christian, I’m not going to share what I really think of the Axis chase.

Loved seeing the return of popato chisps.

I swear, I thought all that white stuff was monster dust at first. Walked into the Science Division and nearly burst into tears.

I hope somebody finally has chance to either fix Guardener or shut her down properly once they reach the surface.

Conveyor belt puzzle caused me trouble because I kept trying to box up trash. Took me a while to realize “red” and “blue” referred to the highlights around the objects.

I’ll talk more in depth later, but I love how Clover has this calming effect on Ceroba when she’s chewing out the productivity bot.

Believe it or not, I didn’t get caught by Axis in the fireplace room! Go me! (Actually, it’s really not that hard….)

Still not entirely sure what I think of Axis deliberately handing us a “weapon” just to give himself an excuse to attack us.

I’ve said this before: he took me an hour and a half to fight the first time. I really hate the mechanics in his boss fight. And it was especially humiliating for me because I’d only died, maybe, 3 or 4 times before him. Didn’t have any trouble with Starlo, and while I never did get the hang of Bailey’s fight, I think I only died to him once. Guardener was responsible for the other deaths.

I love how Ceroba’s been insulting the Steamworks the whole time, but I don’t think she ever insults Axis. That was her late husband’s baby. And then she even gives him tips on dating.

Ceroba finally respects us after the Axis fight. It takes remembering why she needs us for her to be able to press on with her mission.

Chujin’s House

Questions

Woodworking, robotics, SOUL research, video game designer, loving husband and father- I know Chujin was kinda old, but how DID he find time for all this???

Marty finds Kanako’s room to be unsettling. Not sure why.

Clover doesn’t like the gas stove and worries it will cause a housefire. I’ve wondered before whether they came from an orphanage. Did they lose their family in a fire?

“The Founder’s Crest.” Who are the Founders? Founders of what? Or is this just a reference to something I’m not familiar with? (Possibly something in Japanese culture?)

Was Chujin actually that much older than Ceroba? Or did he just age rapidly because of his research? If boss monsters only age when they have children, how could he have become so old before marrying Ceroba… unless he’d already had, and lost, one child before?

I’ve been told there’s a secret behind Chujin’s grave. Will have to check it out the next time I do a Pacifist run.

Observations

Strange that Ed found the trapdoor so easily when Ceroba didn’t know about it until Chujin told her. Ceroba must not have covered it up properly before locking up the house. Possibly also Chujin somehow arranged it with her that he would be the one cleaning the dining room.

I feel like Moray’s the smartest one of the Four. They knew it was a good idea to send for Marty.

And THIS is where Marty gets smart. She takes charge in Star’s absence. The Four listen to her, even Ed (reluctantly). And SHE’s the one telling us to stay on track.

(Ok, she’s still a bit naïve- she doesn’t seem to consider that Chujin’s paper with her name is actually ABOUT her.)

The drawings on Kanako’s bedroom wall: Dalv, the monster on the Dunes swingset, her family… and a flower? Well, I mean… a lot of little kids like to draw flowers, so that might not be anything. Also a drawing of what looks like Axis lying on the floor.

“Nuh-uh! Kids shouldn’t mess with knives!” Nice little reference there, dev team.

And, of course, it’s Flowey who makes light of Ceroba’s mission, calling it a “science fair project.” Well. He has every right to say whatever he likes about SOUL research. Doesn’t he.

Of course, we didn’t get Star’s letter in time because Ceroba wouldn’t let us check the mail. But I highly doubt she planned it that way, as she had no idea the Five would be snooping around her old house.

Other Thoughts

Starlo is so. completely. PISSED. And… uh, he has a right to be. Like, she’s doing a lot of what he just did- lying and scheming and using Clover to fix her own problems (those two are a match set, I swear….) And he’s torn. These are his two friends, Clover being the human he practically worshipped, and Ceroba being one of his closest friends (not to mention the love of his life, but I digress). He doesn’t want anything to happen to her, but he can’t let Clover get hurt, either.

The fact that Moray sent for Marty as soon as learning that Clover was in danger just seals in the idea that Marty is part of the family.

…how long has that corn chowder been in that fridge, anyway???

I’ve already discussed my thoughts about Chujin in other posts, a lot of them still in queue.

Hotlands

Questions

Kinda wonder what could’ve made Clover suspicious about the wall to the left of the UG Apartments.

Never did figure out where the “rain” was coming from. I figure it’s just a leaky sink upstairs or something. (I’d thought at first it was from the janitor cleaning the hallway, but that’s on the other side of the building.)

Observations

I’m sure everyone recognized it, but in case someone didn’t, Bailey’s in the colored tile room.

I think Muffet herself blocked the way thru Hotland, renovating for her pastry shop.

Mr. Cursor mentions a 10-sided die. They have some version of D&D in the Underground. Probably more like… idk, Houses and Humans?

Working for Mettaton must have taken quite a toll on the janitor. He doesn’t look nearly so tired or decrepit here.

There was a flier on the bulletin board in the Wild East that was advertising the acts at the UG Apartments. The band we saw in Honeydew Resort has a gig at the Apartments on Fridays. So, this game- or at least by the time we reach Hotland- is on a Friday.

Other Thoughts

The monster candy is butterscotch-flavored. *nods* Of course, what else would it be?

Poor Heats. Defeateeeeeeeeed again….

Star can actually survive drinking magma. I’ve got headcanons about this boiling in my brain….

I thought Know Cone said he was just gonna look at Hotland from a mountaintop…?

New Home/Pacifist Ending

Questions

If there’s an elevator leading to the castle, I’m guessing that means at least one of the other endings has us actually fight Asgore.

How exactly does Kanako’s mask give Ceroba superpowers? I feel like it might be a reference to Japanese mythology, but I know very, very little about Japanese mythology.

How exactly does Clover have the ability to see into Ceroba’s memories?

I kinda hate myself for asking, but… what happens if you choose FIGHT after you beat Ceroba?

Observations

Star is the one asking Ceroba if she’s gonna kill them all because while he doesn’t know all the details, he recognizes the headspace she’s in.

Other Thoughts

Not only am I thrilled to finally get to explore some of New Home, I’m absolutely in love with the design and the music.

I think when Ceroba says she lied about Kanako, she’s not saying she lied about Kanako falling down, or about sending her to the lab. She lied about having any hope that Kanako would return safely.

How the heck do frikkin’ cherry blossom petals have so much attack power???

The dash mechanic took me time to learn, but if Toby ever decides to steal from Yellow, I hope he steals this :P

My reactions to Ceroba’s plan: “But Chujin specifically begged you NOT to use Kanako! How do you think you’re honoring his memory by going against his final wish?!” “Oh, I see, finishing the serum was his death wish. That’s still no excuse to use your own daughter, tho.” And finally: “…oh…”

I tried to get thru the game without cheats (except for being on easy mode) but I did have to turn on auto-fire for Ceroba’s final phase.

#undertale yellow #my thoughts #questions #my analysis #long post #pacifist #too many characters and locations to tag

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thegeminisage · 2 months

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it is time for. NOT a tng update. but a ds9 update!!! wednesday* we watched "emissary" and actually i'm not clear on if we watched both parts or just one since my website is wonky but either way whatever we watched FUCKING RULED. i'm dispensing w the normal bullet points so i can ramble as much as i want

*it was last night actually but it took me all day to type this up so i'm scheduling it to go up later. it got looooong lol

the first most striking thing i noticed about ds9, or at least the first half of what we watched, is that it FEELS like a video game. someone tell me if this is insane. you're playing as sisko. you get flashbacks of his backstory, you get thrown into this starbase that's in shambles and it's Your Job to fix it up. you go around meeting all the secondary characters who will be in charge of this or that gameplay aspect or upgrade system or shop: kira, o'brien, quark, odo, jadzia, julian, etc. the FOLEY in this was insane. all the noise in the back CONSTANTLY suggested a lively and whole universe outside of our direct line of focus - it felt so alive in the way not even the enterprise in tos did. i could picture myself in the opening gameplay/cutscene like slowly walking my character through what will become a hub area that i gradually upgrade over time while kira or o'brien narrates the list of problems. you're starting at the bottom rung and expected to fail, but you can FEEL the potential even in just one brief walk through the promenade. IS THIS INSANE? it feels like an insane thing to say. someone PLEASE write in if you have ever had similar feelings. if they haven't made a ds9 game yet, they should.

i also notice that not only is the quality of the ds9 episodes worse than that of tng and tos - no one has remastered them into 1080p, apparently - but the lighting is very different, as well. it felt WEIRD to see picard and the enterprise D shot this way. but it also lends, perhaps unintentionally, perhaps not, a really gritty atmosphere to what is normally a very clean universe. i guess since we mostly see it from the inside of starships, it would feel like a sterile place to us, but you know how everyone always compliments star wars on how lived-in it feels? the buttons are wearing, sand is stuck in their fancy thingamajigs, etc? this was how ds9 felt to me.

okay. the characters. let's fucking get into it. what's so fun about ds9 in general is that in all other trek shows i have picked out my specialest little guy in 5 seconds flat. tos was spock EASILY. tng i knew it was data before i started. i already know seven's gonna be my favorite voyager character, but i have NO IDEA!!! who my precious little baby in ds9 will be. what a fun surprise for everyone involved. if anybody wants to place bets go ahead.

like, i thought tng had a pretty solid lineup (hence my eternal frustration with its wasted potential) but they're not anywhere as eclectic as ds9's core cast. iirc, sisko and o'brien are the ONLY humans who for once are outnumbered by trek's cool aliens. i'm saving sisko for last because that was the part of ds9 that touched me most profoundly, but for o'brien - it was a little sad to see him leave the enterprise, because picard was right, it WON'T feel the same without him, but i'm really excited to see why everybody says he suffers more than jesus and to find out if the eyepatch is a permanent thing or if it's just mirrorverse fuckery. either way, i win. like, o'brien is cool, and i always miss him when i don't see him in tng, and i'll continue to miss him in tng from here on out, but he could never shine in that show. it's too stiff and too reluctant to put its characters through any real development. it's a shame they can't ALL move to ds9, tbh.

the next person we met was kira, who was WONDERFUL. it took me a minute to warm up to her, not because there was anything wrong with her, but because i figured at first glance she was ds9's version of ro laren, the obligatory bajoran cast member to connect us with the bajoran/cardassian plot - which would of course be good because ro is awesome, but it's not necessarily anything new and i already love ro. BUT I WAS WRONG! kira's personality is very distinct from ro's; really the only thing they have in common is not liking cardassians which lmao Yeah. my favorite thing about kira is that she smiles when she's upset or angry. that's Such an acting choic, to have her grinning at the cardassians when she's almost certain they're about to blow her whole space station to smithereens. all love light and respect to ro laren my beloved, but i think i actually like kira BETTER.

odo: WHAT is that thing he can do oh my god...is this a changeling?? i got that result in a star trek quiz once. i really loved when he snuck aboard the enemy ship posing as a bag to hold gambling winnings. i was like oh they showed us the bag to show us it will get stolen soon BUT NO it was odo!!!!!!! such a fun surprise. the exposition on his backstory was a little slapdash but i enjoyed it all the same, i cannot wait to learn more

i was most nervous to meet quark because i hate hate HATE the ferengi in tng, but he was actually so entertaining! like, you're never gonna be able to entirely remove the antisemetic undertones from the ferengi as a whole, but he was smart, practical, and endearingly longsuffering. i love his wryness and deadpan humor. i have a feeling he is gonna be so much fun to torture lovingly.

meeting julian bashir felt like meeting a famous person. for the longest time all i knew about ds9 was that cardassian guy wanted to FUCK that gay little doctor, so it was a little hilarious that in his first scene he was asking a woman* out on a date. sir do you not know you're gay?? even funnier was the fact that out of everybody in the pilot he had the least lines. we barely know him, but we finally met him. relatedly, i can't to wait to meet more cardassians, especially The cardassian. so far, they're still all gay.

*jadzia!!! gnc/trans queen! the trill stuff is SO interesting and watching that worm slither in and out of people during those flashbacks was so wonderful but also made me wince. i love that she used to be an old man and the jokes about it are actually really funny without feeling transphobic or anything SO FAR. who knows if that changes. i feel like we haven't gotten much yet from her either but i cannot wait.

SISKO. damn. where do i even...first of all, he should be allowed to bite kick kill picard. i say this as someone who experienced a genuine THRILL of pleasure upon seeing picard's borged self again. i loved that whole thing, i'm obsessed with the borg. that it comes back in this small way in ds9, and has such a HUGE impact on the storyline, was so so so fucking good. i always say tng tells and not shows, but even after just knowing sisko for a few moments i felt keenly how much it devastated to find his wife like that and THAT WAS JUST FROM THE FIRST SCENE. and it only gets better! he's a great dad. he's FUNNY. he is not above manual labor. he wants to tear picard limb from limb. and he exists HERE.

the wormhole alien sequence was. so good. it was SO GOOD. explaining linear time to aliens. the aliens using his memories to talk to him. HE EXISTS HERE. back and back and BACK to finding his wife in the rubble because HE EXISTS HERE. he CHOOSES to exist here. he existed there when he applied for a transfer to earth. he existed there when he confronted picard. he never left the ship because HE NEVER LEFT THE SHIP. they dragged him out but they COULDN'T DRAG HIM OUT. he exists here because he won't leave her to exist here alone because damn it we can't just leave her here. that was the most insane series of events i ever watched. like, because at first you DO think it's the aliens taking him back there BUT IT'S HIM. HE IS DOING IT TO HIMSELF. when the penny dropped i got literal chill bumps and when the aliens said "it's not linear" and he, openly weeping, replied "it's NOT linear," i genuinely, truly, shed a tear along with him. TNG COULD NEVER. none of those miserable fucks EVER cry!!! sisko did it in the god damn pilot!!!!!!!

and like, the fact that he can choose to stay at the space station at the end, to shake picard's hand, to exist SOMEWHERE ELSE. AAAAAUGHGHGHG

i really loved the final confrontation, too. kira is so so so so good, again, i LOVE that she smiles when she's angry, when she's sad, and it's not a fake smile, it's genuine and honest emotion, and she's genuinely and honestly going to start eating the cardassians for sport if they don't leave her alone. it was very scrappy, them pretending to be bigger and badder than they actually were because they had no other choice. you get the feeling everybody on the station and indeed the station itself is barely holding together, and what little togetherness is present comes from sheer spite.

anyway, absolutely 10/10. i was so worried ds9 wouldn't be good but it not only met my most furtive hopes it surpassed them with flying colors. it's gonna be REAL hard to go back to tng after this.

#personal #star trek blogging #ds9 lb #what an exciting tag to finally get to use!

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