#but i know knowing would just hurt more
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fuck
#reviving this account after like 7 yrs to vent#why the FUCK can’t i move on bro#it’s been 3 months#we were only seeing each other for 6#we weren’t even in a real relationship#but god did i love him#and GOD did he break my heart#and i don’t think i want him in my life again#but fuck i miss him#i miss the inside jokes and the songs we’d sing together#the fires and the four lokos and falling asleep to it’s always sunny#we had so many plans to experience the future together#and now that future is here and i can’t accept that we aren’t experiencing it together#a part of me wishes i got real closure#but i know knowing would just hurt more#i just wish i could go back in a time machine#before this all happened#and cherish the times we had even more than i did the first time#if that’s even possible#i never want to give anyone the chance to know me and hurt me like that again
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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Mentioned this before but as much as I adore the medic Leo headcanon, my favorite type of it is when it’s basically just Leo knowing the most surface level of stuff and carrying around a super basic first-aid kit in his pack. So he knows how to use gauze, and he’s got a ton of Jupiter Jim branded bandaids, and if you really needed it then he can hit you up with some ibuprofen but other than that? Nothing.
But. I love the idea that that changes post-invasion.
They’re pretty sturdy, all of them, so they can take more than one beating and really only need a bandaid for the fun of it. But the invasion hit harder than ice packs and “lots of rest” would help with, and I can bet that a post being beaten to a pulp Leo would have a lot of time on his hands to reflect and, maybe, learn a thing or two as he waits to get better.
It’s nothing excessive, not at first, but he watches veterinary videos, and live surgeries, and other videos in that same realm (because the books are, uh, a bit too jargon-y for him) multiple times over. Just so he knows. Just in case he needs to know.
In his pack, there’s a first-aid kit. With the use of a mini portal for extra space, the kit has grown to include everything from scalpels to butterfly stitches to sutures to even fiberglass patches.
And obviously the Jupiter Jim brand bandaids stay too.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#medic leo#I especially like the idea that his want to learn more medical stuff is also pushed by him actually wanting to be a better hero too#like if they gotta rescue squishy humans then it’s probably good for them to know how to do basic care just in case!#Leo’s portals would come in clutch for easy access to necessary medical tools#I doubt Leo would be AMAZING at it especially not so young and inexperienced and without proper teaching#but idk I like the idea that the bro who wields the only weapon specially made for killing is the one who is the medic#it’s interesting to me!#and tbh I bet all the bros learn basic first aid too#April DEFINITELY knows it#splinter absolutely knows#but yeah I just really like the hc that Leo holds the bandaids and that’s about as much medical knowledge he’s got and LATER he learns more#like the idea that little Leo desperate to figure out how to contribute wanted to be a medic but then he came to the realization#that he and his family were all WAY TOO STURDY and never really got hurt 💀#most of the time his bandaids went to Mikey who wasn’t ever hurt he just likes colorful stickers and at that point that’s all bandaids were
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the funniest possible thing that could happen is if mercedes keeps hiring childhood best friends for their team and everybody's holding their breath waiting for them to tear each other apart like brocedes except it doesn't happen bc everyone else is normal about each other and brocedes is just that fucked up that they would've torn each other apart even if they were on different teams
#i like to think that in this hc both nico and lewis were waiting for the new team to tear each other apart just so they could feel like what#happened to them was an inevitability. except the new team doesn't tear each other apart and now they have to deal with the fact it was#their faults. not competing for the championship or the stress of being on the same team but just them. ripping each other apart for even#the slightest advantage. just them digging their fingers into the rotting carcass of their childhood friendship to hit each other where it#hurts. just them cannibalizing their childhood dream for even the most miniscule chance of beating each other. and what do you do then?#when the reason your friendship fell apart is bc you two couldn't put each other before the trophy? and what do you do when you know that#you wouldn't be you if you chose each other? what then? maybe it was inevitable. maybe it was fate.#auugh i love the inevitability of tragedies!!! this all came bc ppl kept saying that albon in merc would be brocedes 2.0 and like no!!! no#will ever be brocedes 2!!! nobody has the drama or the ethos/pathos/logos to be brocedes 2.0!! you dont have the frosties or the dreams or#greece!!! you dont have greece!!! and more importantly!!! nico and lewis were /weird/ about each other!!! no 1 else on this grid is weird#about each other the way nico and lewis were/are!!! nobody else is obsessed with each other the way they were!!!#anyway breakdown over#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#brocedes#f1
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Chewtoy (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Sans#Squeeze him - he makes a squeaky toy noise#Everyone needs to bite Gaster! He doesn't yield like flesh so it probably doesn't even hurt right? Yeahhhh he'll be fiiiine#There is something very funny to me about him just sitting there and taking it tho lol - feeds into his martyr play ♪#As if I don't already have a favourite martyr hmmm don't worry about it lol#What was he even doing why is he just letting 2-P bite him lol#Socialization? That's not a good thing to just let him do! He's still got a young mind! Boundaries are important#He does offer a way out - hehe ♫ - but he doesn't enforce it! You're setting them up for failure#Hehehehe#The bone gift was fun to doodle hehe ♪ He leaves it with him and it goes completely untouched while his arm is covered in teeth-marks pfft#Even with Papyrus a bit more unruly I still like to imagine he acts mean in largely harmless ways haha#Like yeah he's being naughty and biting when he knows better and offered other options - Gaster. Gentle enforcement - but he's not Hurting#He's not using his entire bite force - probably lol or he's just got weak little baby bites (though those can be quite painful!)#Sans on the other hand would absolutely go 100% full power - and still only do 1HP lol what an unfortunate design quirk for him#If only he had a jaw he could open! He'd bite the heck outta Gaster! Alas#I do like to imagine Fellplates!Sans has just fast-tracked to classic's conclusion of ''You suck and I hate you. Die'' about Gaster lol#Even the possibility of not being mean to him is so alien! What do you /mean/ not hurt you?? Do you know who you're talking to??#He'll find another way to mess with him in good time haha
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
"It ain't that complicated!"
How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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Answers to "please stop"
No.
I can't.
I won't.
I don't want to.
I don't know how.
I will soon.
But then how will you learn?
We're almost done.
It's almost over.
Ask me again!
Oh well, if you're asking that politely…
Fine. For now.
Only once I've come up with something more fun.
Only once you've come up with something more fun.
Or what?
I know you can go a little bit longer.
You know I won't.
I love it when you beg.
I hate it when you beg.
I'm so bored by your begging.
Not until you're too weak to ask me to.
But I don't have anything better to do.
I wish I could.
Alright! See? All you had to do was ask nicely.
I'm not doing anything.
What, exactly?
Just once more, I promise!
Just once more, I promise! (🤞)
You're doing this to yourself.
You wanted this.
You want this.
You know you made me do this.
Are you ready to give me what I want, then?
I will once you give in.
What will you give me in return?
Why should I?
You know there is only one way to end this.
You know there is only one way this will end.
(Answers to "it hurts")
#whump#whump dialogue prompt#whump dialogue#whump prompt#whumblr#i had 2 ppl request a part two to the it hurts one#and i couldnt come up w enough stuff i liked#so here#have this instead#I wrote this all down yesterday when i was trying to fall asleep and i kept coming up w new things so i just kept unlocking my phone and#writing stuff down#i thought i had way less than last time but it's actually much more#granted i rly leaned into the differences just slight wording changes make#also i feel like half of these would do so much better with some sort of term of endearment stapled onto theme#them#so when reading them just imagine some of them with a darling or a sweetheart or a honey tacked onto them bc that's how i imgined them#also if these writing prompts end up on kinblr again and someone accuses me of forgetting safe words just know i'm gonna break into your#house and put mustard in your shoes
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man as much as I understand why we bind/tuck and that it's not a bad thing if I could wish one thing upon the world it would be for everyone to get so much more normal about men with boobs and women with bulges (and everyone in between w whatever secondary sex characteristics). bc it sucks. it's uncomfortable and can be super super damaging even if you're using the best methods in the world.
and ofc it sucks from cis society but I think I have even more beef w people in the trans community that push this idea that if you're not binding/tucking you're not Serious about being trans.
#just some word vomit ig#bc this is my first summer in YEARS not binding#bc I finally got top surgery#and being outside in this heat/humidity just reminded me how fucking bad and hard it was w a binder#like it would hurt to Breathe sometimes and that's just... normal#which sucks. you rarely get out of long term binding without rib or back problems#I don't know As Much about tucking but afaik it can be even More dangerous#and uncomfortable#which isn't do demonize binding or tucking it just sucks that we're Expected to do it
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I am making my friend watch the new Superman show with me and we just watched the most recent episode with Doctor Ivo. At the end, Jimmy is sad because his two best friends walk off all romantically into the sunset. I think nothing describes difference between the aroace and allo experience better than our very different responses to that scene.
My response was that Jimmy’s needs as a friend were clearly being disregarded in favor of the “more important” romantic feelings developing between Clark and Lois. And despite him shipping the two of them, it doesn’t change that it always hurts when you get third wheeled or left out by your closest friends. But I was confident that once the romantic tension settled and the three of them had a chance to talk, Lois and Clark would start making space for their friend again.
Meanwhile, my allosexual friend’s response was that “they need to give Jimmy somebody.” That the way to cure his sadness was to give him a romantic partner. Which was a response that shocked me, considering that my friend is very on board with my desire to maintain our close friendship after their marriage while not pursuing a romantic relationship myself.
And I cannot stress enough that finding a romantic partner cannot be the only solution to feeling sad when your best friends get together. What kind of message does that send to asexual or aromantic people? That you will lose all your friends to romance and you won’t have any fulfilling relationships yourself unless you also get with the program?
I am curious to see which direction the show takes this, but Jimmy seems like a prime candidate for either ace or aro representation. I hope that this can be a moment to help people untrain the knee-jerk response that romance isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to relationship ills.
#mae muses#my adventures with superman#jimmy olsen#i love my best friend dearly and know that they are just picking up what the narrative's putting down#but it was still a shock to me#i really love him and would love to get some aroace rep from him#also i get that jimmy interrupting the romantic moments was a running gag#that was inevitably gonna end up with him getting hurt#the show could've shown a more nuanced response i think#cause up to this point jimmy has been teasing them both#so a mix of hurt and happiness would have been appropriate i think#asexuality#aromantic
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT.
AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT.
THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS,
BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS.
A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH,
A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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fears of inadequacy
#dirk strider#jake english#dirkjake#angst#hurt but not quite sure about the comfort#im just saying that as much as these two work on themselves they do not know how to handle intense emotions#its not a bad thing its just something they deal with#growing up completely alone with no one to physically comfort you would kinda emotionally stunt anyone you know#UGH damn it theyre so important to me#they both struggle with self worth like crazy#i love them being disasters together#i want to see them grow but more importantly i want to see them suffer
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okay ik that accidental pregnancy isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but
i have been thinking abt accidental pregnancy thrown in with book 7 and its kinda….
like imagine something happens between u and lilia post-book 6 and around a month later u realize ur period never came and u take a test and holy shit ur pregnant
u go to tell lilia excited and/or nervous only for him to tell u that hes leaving! surprise :(
so u don’t tell him (bc u don’t want to force him to stay idk) but slowly over the course of book 7, the other diasomnia members find out and they’re all freaking out
#idk i love the#accidental pregnancy#trope#i understand why ppl don’t like it tho#i just think it would be interesting#also imagine silbek finding out ur pregnant and immediately being so protective#throwing themselves in front of u in the slightest situation#routinely trying to get u to let them carry u so u don’t somehow collapse and hurt the baby#ur only like a month pregnant here btw so its sweet but also incedibly irritating#leaving it open bc i don’t know how b7 will end#do u think malleus would use this as even more justification for everything hes doinf#twst#twisted wonderland#tw pregnancy#lilia vanrouge#lilia x reader
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Softly, slowly, I want to love you anyway (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Loop#Isabeau#Siffrin#Sloopis Sloopis Sloopis#Top tier polyship heck yes#Poor Loop :'0 Give them love now!!!#Kinda-sorta inspired by my Loop fic - that transformation had to be difficult ;;#The ones with Isabeau are deffo more Star of Your Dreams tho <3 Isa's so sweet weh#Loop honey letting people in is like The Thing that will help The Most#Always deflecting giving outs letting people off the hook at their own expense :'( Pushing others away is easier than letting them see ;;#It's why Isa's such a good boy!! He genuinely wants to know to be close to see the real them - both of them!!!#It's work but it's worth it <3#And obviously Sif understands haha#If ever a pair needed some self-love it was these two like Sheesh#Loop still wouldn't make it easy hehe <3 They're just like that#It'd be so easy for Sif to accidentally hurt them and need to backtrack and it's worse because Loop would Get It#They understand each other so intrinsically and yet Sif still has - will always have - a victory that Loop never got to ;;#Even loving each other and sharing what they currently have it's still a painful reminder of what they left behind :'0 Loooop </3#They really are fun to draw hehe Loop's eyes are so pretty ♪ And actual sparkles on the dark gradient this time! Yes!#I debated whether I wanted their tears to be visible - blotted out by how bright their head is? But went with it for expression reasons#Gods can you imagine how beautiful their tears would be tho? Little prisms splitting up their white light#Although that would imply colour lol - I mean if Anyone Would have a bit of colour it Would be Loop sooooo#Hmngh love 'em
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Hii you know how you wrote about reader getting hurt because of their job please could you write that with graves or nikolai x
Hey! Sure I can!
Graves’ and Nikolai’s S/O Gets Hurt Because of Their job
Graves: On the outside he may seem calm and collected, but on the inside he’d be seething with rage. However, he won’t show you how angry he actually is, keeping it all to himself instead. He needs to be the big, strong man in your relationship, so he needs to keep his cool in front of you, no matter what. I don’t think he’d be too surprised you’d have gotten hurt, though. While he may have hoped it would never happen, that was just wishful thinking. You’ll either be on Shadow Company’s medbay or in the best hospital he can find nearby. Either way, you’ll be well taken care of. If you’re at Shadow Company, then he’ll station some of his most competent and trusted people to take care of you for the time being. You will be protected by them, and you will get whatever it is you may need from them as well. Or anything you may want, really. No cost is too high for Graves while you’re in recovery. While he may try to make time for you as well, he really does, he will also have someone track down whoever hurt you. This person will then be abducted to Shadow Company for a rough time. Graves himself would take care of them, and he can be pretty effective when he wants to be. However, if you’ve recovered by then, and are among the more vengeful people, then you’re more than welcome to do as you please with the bastard yourself, Graves has no qualms about that. In fact, he’d welcome you doing what you need to do. An eye for an eye. I think he’d become a bit more protective of you afterwards. If you’re okay with it, then he’ll leave you in the hands of some of his Shadows since he can’t always be there for you. If it was up to him, he’d combine you with his work and have you just live on base with him so he could always keep an eye on you, but you likely wouldn’t agree to that. It may seem a bit overbearing, but he will reach out to you more often and does expect you to respond within a few hours, or else he’ll get worried and send someone to check up on you, even if you’re alright.
Nikolai: While Graves may be furious, Nikolai is entirely calm about all of this. Yes, you got hurt, but seeing him panic would likely only worsen the state you’re in. He is well aware of the fact that you will pull through, he made sure of that himself. However, he won’t do anything drastic until you’ve recovered completely. That way your perpetrator has enough time to kill themself before he has to take action. Naturally, you mean the world to him, so any violence against you will not be excused. Nikolai runs a PMC, so he knows what he’s doing, he knows how to deal with violence. Violence for violence is the rule of the beasts and Nikolai’s cruelty is akin to that of a starved animal. However, that can wait until you’re alright again. He’ll visit you every day, even stay at the hospital, and bring you gifts, tell you stories and keep you company otherwise. But he won’t mention the plans he has for the sorry fuck who hurt you, those are for him to know and for you to never find out. Once you’re home again, going about your day, he will seek out the bastard himself and drag him to some place in Siberia. As mentioned before, Nikolai can be cruel when he wants to be, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he let that person run aimlessly around Siberia for a few days, hunted down by him and his people, only to capture and torture them later. Death is a kind of mercy that is not for them, though, so he’ll keep them alive for the time being. They almost took you from him, there’s nothing they could ever do to make up for that. They’ll be a new chewing toy for Chimera until they die for one reason or another. Nikolai won’t get too overprotective, but he will be keeping a closer eye on you. He won’t station one of his people in front of your home when he’s away, but he will try to make more time for you. Calls become more frequent and he will try to find some excuses to spend more time with you, even if it’s just by video chatting with you when you have the time. He won’t freak out, but he won’t forget about that incident either.
#cod#cod x reader#phillip graves#phillip graves x reader#cod nikolai#cod nikolai x reader#I was thinking about wanting a request for Graves again not too long ago so this came at an ideal time#they're both very powerful people who are also war criminals and not afraid of breaking every law in existence#so yeah they'll have their fun with whoever hurt you#thinking about an angry Nikolai scares me so bad actually. he'd be so calm and quiet and that's just the most terrifying thing to me#if you're in an especially bad condition then I think Graves would become more strict with his Shadows#he knows he shouldn't be like that at work but he can't help it since he's just that worried about you#he's usually a fun and caring boss but he'd become very different when you get hurt#of course he'll go back to normal once everything is alright again but you being hurt would hit the Shadows pretty hard as well#I like to think he does talk about you to his Shadows so they definitely know who you are#and just by hearing about you most of them would like you as well. especially because Graves loves you this much and they like him a lot#so I think a lot of Shadows would also grow protective over you and I think that's so very sweet#I always liked to think that the people at Shadow Company were very close with each other#especially because Graves is a good boss and makes sure the work climate there is ideal. despite the war crimes#Graves is actually a pretty fly guy in my eyes. he's just cocky but he does worry a lot about his Shadows and you deep down#he loves his Shadows and he loves you too
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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Bruce Wayne, who can't cook to save his life but can bake better than even Alfred. The catch? He can only do it in the night after being awoken by nightmares. No one knows about his extraordinary skills other than Alfred and Dick, because everyone assumes that the baked goods in the kitchen are made by Alfred. Dick knows because when he was younger and couldn't sleep because of nightmares, he used to join Bruce in the kitchen and watch him work.
Dick Grayson, who is an absolute disaster in the kitchen because he keeps getting distracted, but give him a microwave and a dream and he'll prepare a solid three course meal that actually tastes decent. He's also an excellent cocktail maker, which is funny since he prefers to have his alcohol straight without any mixers (he still puts the little umbrellas in his glass though, don't be mistaken)
Jason Todd, who is an ACE in the kitchen because he refused to ever be helpless with food again after getting off the streets. He was going to eat, and he was going to eat WELL. Especially since he finally had the resources to be able to actually experiment with what he likes and what he can do with different foods, instead of just what's cheapest or most easily found. The one thing he can't do? Crack an egg with only his hands without getting any of the eggshell pieces in the food. He needs to use one of those little egg cracking tools. The thing that pissed him off the most about this is that the one thing Dick can do brilliantly in the kitchen, is crack eggs with one (1!!!) hand only.
Tim Drake, who is definitely not michelin star level (the Drakes had a cook for Tim's entire childhood so he never had to learn), but has learnt to sustain himself with instant meals and those little ramen packets. He somehow always makes them taste good though, adding toppings and making sure they are some form of nourishing, even if that just means adding a fried egg on top and calling it a day. He also knows the difference between all the different little types of tea that alfred likes to drink just by taste, and is the only other person in the house that can make a perfect cup (that is Alfred approved). It always shocks everyone else, because Tim is notorious for hating the taste of tea.
Cass Cain, who has no culinary abilities and does not want them either. Her skills in the kitchen start and end with making sandwiches. But whenever she goes out to eat, she always goes to a chinese restaurant and gets something that she hasn't tried before, because she was never introduced to any foods of her culture and wants to taste them all now. Oh, and she can do super complicated tricks with the knives, her and Dick have constant competitions about who can do the coolest thing.
Steph Brown, who lives off of takeaway for most meals, but can make better breakfast foods than most people in the house. Waffles, pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, you name it and she can make it. Only if it is traditionally eaten before noon though. She also worked as a barista part time for a while, so she knows all the fancy coffee recipes.
Damian Al Ghul Wayne, who doesn't care to cook other cuisines, but taught himself how to make almost every middle eastern and south asian dish he could get his hands on, because it helped him feel closer to his home and his mother when he first moved in with his father. His fondest memories of his mother are of her feeding him his cultural foods and telling him about their origins. It was the only time they did not speak of work, or his training, but instead about what his father was like as a person, about the things his mother has seen on her travels over the years, about his maternal grandmother, about his interest in animals.
Duke Thomas, who can cook enough for a 15 year old but doesn't touch the kitchen of Wayne manor very often, not unless he's just sitting on the counter watching others or helping minorly. His memories are still fresh enough to bleed when touched and all his memories of him cooking in the kitchen have his parents happily dancing in the background on Sundays with loud music blaring through the walls as they teach him how to chop onions without crying or knead dough.
Alfred Pennyworth, who only had the most basic culinary skills when he began working for the Waynes, just enough to keep him alive when he was in the military, but was forced to learn how to cook when he was unexpectedly given custody of an 8 year old. He can cook better than most professional chefs in the world now, but he still hoards Thomas Wayne's old cookbooks like they're the only tangible part left of the man who once filled the halls of the manor, even though he knows that's not true. He'll pass them down to his grandchildren one day...just not today. Today, they're still his.
#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#batfam#4sh-n4#batfamily#alfred pennyworth#stephanie brown#duke thomas#damian wayne#cassandra cain#i think that the relationship people have with food is so beautiful#because food holds memories and culture and ancestory and community and distraction and joy and new experiences and so much more#and then for some food holds so much pain and hurt and insecurity#its different for each person and its so interesting to me that such a universal thing can be so deeply personal#but this post isnt about relationship with food its abkut relationship with making food with cooking#and really for a few of them it isnt even about that because its just about their skills not their memories#i might need to follow this up with a more in depth relationship about cooking and why they have the skills they do#and maybe one about only how they feel about food in general#but let me know if thats something anyone would want to read!!#can you tell that i love dick by the fact that i ended up mentioning him like thrice 😭
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