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#but DAMN i never thought people would be interested in my ramblings
ice-cweam-sod4 · 2 years
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Am i about to hit 100 followers?
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seonghwaddict · 1 month
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save a horse, ride your best friend — song mingi
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in which your best friend can’t believe you’ve never ridden a dick before, so he takes it upon himself to teach you.
best friend!song mingi x fem!reader. requested by anon. genre. slight fluff. smut. best friends to friends with benefits. warnings. explicit sexual content mdni, inexperienced!reader, thigh riding, fingering, use of a dildo, big dick!mingi, multiple orgasms, unprotected, creampie, swearing, nicknames (baby, angel, pretty). wc. 4k. rating. mature.
lilo’s notes. this was requested a while ago but i’ve been putting it off because… i’ve never written anything about toys being used so uh, i was worried about the pacing and stuff. i wasn’t sure if you meant for them to be in an established relationship, so i went for the fwb route. IMPORTANT!!!! i lost access to my google account bc of a stupid mistake, if you sent in a request through my google form and would still like me to see it, please send it as an ask <33 i remember a few of them, but do send yours in just in case!!
listening to. need to know, doja cat // if u think i’m pretty, artemas // moonlight, kali uchis
masterlist.
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it was a regular saturday evening. you were on a video call with your best friend, mingi, talking about anything that came to mind as you each ate a bowl of ramen as if you were really in the same room. he really only lived a couple buildings away, a two minute walk at most, but actually joining you in your apartment didn’t cross his mind until something interesting was brought up.
you weren’t sure what led to the conversation, but somehow it steered into the direction of something less innocent as you found yourself talking about an embarrassing date you’d gone on a while ago. recounting the story, laughing together, soon turned into a conversation about what each of you like in bed.
“oh, it’s just amazing,” mingi laughed as he gulped down a mouthful of water, momentarily pausing his rambling about how much he loves it when someone rides his dick. he ran a his hand through his short, washed-out pink hair, “honestly, my favourite thing ever since it probably feels just as good for whoever is, y’know, riding.”
based on everything he’s said so far, you came to the conclusion that he was more into giving than receiving, that he got off on seeing all the pleasure he can give his partner. so, it made sense he’d choose to mention the fact that riding him would feel good. not that you would know.
“can i admit something?”
he looked up from his bowl, sharp eyes looking almost hopeful as he nodded.
you looked around your kitchen jokingly, pretending to make sure no one sense was listened as you leaned closer a whispered, your hand cupping the side of your mouth.
“i’ve never done that before.”
his jaw dropped at that, letting out a small laugh. “you’re kidding.”
“no, really,” you insisted, going back to eating casually as if you were having the most normal conversation in the world with your best friend, “i really haven’t done… much, so i can’t confirm or deny your theory.”
“huh.” he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he thought for a moment. his head tilted and it was then that you felt how warm your cheeks felt, how your thighs were pressed together under the counter. of course, he was well aware of the fact that you had much less experience than him, only knowing about two people you had slept with. but damn. he clicked his tongue and shook his head ever so slightly. “that won’t do.”
furrowing your eyebrows, you opened your mouth to ask him what he had meant by that. he beat you to it before you could get a word out.
“i can… teach you, if you want?”
you blinked at your screen, resting your wrist on your countertop and gripping your chopsticks a little too hard. a silence followed his offer, though it wasn’t awkward. in fact, he could see you genuinely considering it as you thought it over. eventually, you gave him a tiny nod.
“i mean,” you shrugged, shifting your eyes away shyly, “sure, i guess. why not?”
he grinned, trying to hide it as he shoved a mouthful of noodles into his mouth and shoved his bowl aside. he chewed, swallowed then got up and made sure to bring his phone with him. you recognised his hallways then bedroom as he walked through his apartment. “i’ll be there in like 15, i need to buy something on the way. just wait there, and where something comfortable and… um, accessible.”
you nodded, despite your confusion, and he hung up. accessible? you looked down at your clothing—or rather, lack thereof. since you were home and not expecting anyone, you’d settled on wearing just a shirt you stole from mingi that was too large for him and much larger for you, and panties. you lifted the hem of the worn shirt, assessing how much of your dignity you’d lose if he saw your pink hello kitty undergarments that you only wore if you were doing laundry.
you could already hear him giggling at the sight.
groaning and cursing under your breath, you dropped the shirt and sped to your bedroom to dig through your closet in hopes of finding something a little more appealing. after making a mess of one of your closet’s drawers, you finally pulled out a pair of less offensive panties. they were made of soft cotton; a muted light blue with thin white lace trim, the cut shaped more like a bikini than what you call your grandma underwear.
deciding they were flattering enough, you slipped off your hello kitty pair—ignoring the embarrassing amount of wetness creating a wet patch right where it was pressed against your core—and replaced it with the new pair. as you untwisted the waistband and adjusted it to fit properly, your doorbell rang and you froze on the spot before pulling yourself together and heading to open the door.
the walk to the door felt abnormally long as you stumbled over on wobbly knees. admittedly, you were a little nervous. sure, there have been times where you wanted to do some more than friendly activities with mingi, but you never actually thought it was happen. yet here you were, opening the door for him so he could come in and show you what being a cowgirl feels like.
“hey,” he greeted you softly, stepping into your home and closing the door behind him. you noticed a small plastic bag in his hand, eying it curiously as you watched him kick off his shoes and hang up his coat. once that was of the way, he took one of your hands in your free one and pulled you to where he knew your bedroom was.
once there, he set the bag down on your bedside table and dragged you to stand between his knees as he took a seat on the edge of your bed. he looked you over, lingering on the familiar t-shirt.
“so you’re the one that took this shirt, huh?” he quirked an eyebrow, glancing up at you as he released your hand and brought both of his to your hips. his thumbs caressed the curve of your waist over the shirt. “it was my favourite.”
you laughed softly, “clearly you didn’t care enough if i was able to keep it for three years without you noticing.”
“you little thief.” his nose scrunched as he glared at you jokingly, giving you a gentle squeeze.
“if you really want it back, you can always take it.”
“nah, it’s fine, keep it. it looks cuter on you anyway.” he took a breath and gave you another once over, humming appreciatively when he moved his hands up higher, dragging the shirt with it until he caught a glimpse of your panties. you tensed, caught off guard by how close he felt. “i need you to relax a little, how about i help you loosen up, yeah?”
you nodded, averting your gaze but returning it to him when you felt him pull you onto his lap. he slotted one of his legs between yours, easing you down to straddle his thigh. his hands ran up and down your sides and few times before resting on your bare thighs, your breath stuttered and he held back a smile.
“are you still okay with this?” he asked quietly, absentmindedly playing with the hem of his your shirt. “if i do anything that makes you uncomfortable, just tell me and i’ll stop immediately and we can just watch a movie or something, okay?” when you only nodded, he continued, “i need you to say it, please.”
“i’m okay with this,” you muttered in return, resting you hands on his biceps, “and i’ll let you know if i need you to stop.”
“good, now…” without waiting any longer, he leaned forward to attach his lips to your neck, his hands slowly beginning to rock you back and forth on his lap.
you sucked in a sharp breath and clung into his arms a little tighter, your stomach fluttering at the feeling of your clothed cunt on his firm thigh, your panties dragging against your clit with ease thanks to how wet you already were. he lifted you slightly as he pulled you towards him, pushing you down as he pushed, the varying pressure making your lips part in a soft whimper. he nearly groaned at the sound, moving his lips right below your ear.
“you know,” he rasped between the licks and kisses, “i can’t deny that i’ve wanted to fuck you for a long, long time now.”
“r-really?”
mingi chuckled as he pulled back to look at your face, half surprised and half needy. he noticed that if he relaxed his hands, you’d continue grinding against his thigh.
“yeah, really. i mean, look at you,” he glanced down, one of his hands lifting the hem of your shirt to watch you ride his thigh slowly, a dark wet patch forming right where your leaking pussy sat. he bit his lip, “you look so perfect… and i bet you’d feel perfect, too.”
you nearly whined at that, fucking yourself on his thigh just a little faster as he sucked a dark mark right above your collarbone before returning to mutter dirty words into your ear.
“i know practically everything about you and your cute little body, you know. better than anyone else,” one of his hands inched it’s way up your thighs, brushing against the edge of your panties, “i’ll make you feel so good, angel, i promise.”
“mingi?” you whimpered, prompting him to lean back a little to look at you with a curious tilt of his head and a raised brow. “if you don’t shut up and kiss me right now, i might lose my mind so… please.”
his beautifully plump lips stretched into a smile as he wasted no time in practically pouncing forward and smashing his lips against yours. it started a little slow as you got acquainted with each other, despite the fact you could feel a nearing orgasm as a knot in your stomach drew tighter with each roll of your hips, but soon the kiss turned hungry.
he groaned into your mouth as you let his tongue explore, making you let out a quiet moan. mingi knew he wouldn’t be able to kiss anyone ever again. you, his best friend of all people, had the most inviting lips he’s ever felt. so inviting, so perfect and so soft. he thought everything about was soft. his hand slipped just under the edge of your panties as his other one made your grinds slow down.
you didn’t mind the slow pace, knowing just a few more rocks of your hips would have you tipping over the edge. but he evidently had other plans as he finally made your hips still completely. you pulled away from his lips with a pout. if you were trying to make him feel bad, it backfired terribly.
all he could think of as he looks at your swollen, red, wet, pouty lips is how much prettier they’d look wrapped around his cock. but he could save that for another time.
“there’s no need to rush, baby,” he chuckled, wiping some saliva away from your bottom lip.
eventually, when he was sure you had calmed down enough, he lifted you off his lap a little and turned to lay you down on your back, pressed against the comfortable mattress as he kneeled on the edge. he gripped your knees and bent them, pushing them closer to your chest with his eyes zeroed in on where your slick was leaking through your panties.
with one hand keeping your knees together and elevated, he ran his other over the fabric, pressing down on where he knew your clot would be and elicit a sweet little moan as you squirmed beneath him. he thought you were so cute like this, you looked so flustered as he gave you nothing but featherlight touches where you needed him most. for now.
“don’t get all shy on me now,” he cooed as he glanced up and noticed you covering your face with your hands, “let me see you, pretty.”
he didn’t continue his touches until you finally removed your hands, giving him a nice view of your abused lips and round eyes, pupils blown wide with lust in a way that had something stirring in his abdomen. and his pants.
he let down your knees for a moment so both of his hands could slip under the waistband of your panties, slowly pulling them down your legs. he actually moaned when he saw the strings of arousal clutching onto the fabric as he dragged it away, snapping when he got too far.
“you’re so pretty, baby,” he murmured, watching your entrance squeeze around nothing, making more slick drip out.
after tossing it aside, he wasted no time in getting your knees back to the previous position and running his fingers through your folds.
“oh, fuck,” he groaned, eyes squeezing shut for a moment as you let out a moan when he tapped against your clit, “you’re soaked.”
he glanced up at you, wanting to see your face as he slowly pushed in too fingers and catching a glimpse of your hard nipples poking through your shirt. your face contorted for s fraction of s second before relaxing, your head tipping back against the mattress as you let out a whine.
he choked back a moan at the tight walls around his middle and ring fingers, the fingers of his other hand digging into your thighs. “sh-shit… you’re so tight. i’m gonna have to stretch you out first, okay?”
you nodded mindlessly, too distracted by his fingers prodding at your sweet spot to care about any words he may have said. but you furrowed your eyebrows and lifted your head when you felt both his hands leave you, finding him reaching for the bag. your curiosity outweighed your disappointment as he pulled something out.
it was a dildo. about as thick and long as the biggest person you had before, and made of what looked to be transparent silicon. your insides tightened at the sight, somehow the thought of him seemingly buying this just for you turning you on even more.
he returned to kneeling at the edge of your bed, leaning down to loop his arm around your waist and lift you up to place a pillow under your hips before letting lay back down.
“couldn’t find one my size, but this should be fine,” he held the dildo and ran the tip through your pussy, collecting wetness as you shuddered, “my cock will just have to stretch you the rest of the way.”
you breath hitched at the implication of his words. so he was bigger than that? your thighs pressed together at the thought of being completely stuffed by him. he chuckled, separating your knees enough for him to have a clear view of your pussy, pulsing and dripping and begging for his attention.
he began slipping the toy into you, filling you up inch by inch and watching your needy hole stretch around it and swallow it up. the sight had him choking back a moan, biting down on his bottom lip.
the stretch had your back arching and pushing yourself against it desperately, feeling like that alone could get you to finish. it only took a few deep strokes for your pussy to get used to the size, squeezing and writhing around it until you couldn’t handle it anymore. your arousal coated it quickly and seeped out with each stroke, squelching sounds filling the room that shot straight to his dick.
when you finally came, your toes curled and your body twitched as you let out a string of and whines and moans, little curses slipping between. he watched with fascination as you came undone right beneath him, not wanting to wait any longer to be inside you. he shoved the toy deep inside you, leaving it there as he leaned back for a moment to discard his clothes, slipping his hoodie and sweatpants off.
when you were brought back to your senses, you found yourself on his lap again, straddling his hips this time as he sat with his back against your headboard. you felt his erectile straining against his boxers and pressing against your core. you couldn’t help but rock your hips against his slowly.
“do you ever ride your pillow?” he asked suddenly, voice dropped what felt like two octaves lower than his regular tone. your eyes widened at the question but you nodded. he nodded too, his hands finding your ass and helping you grind against his clothes length. “this is a lot like that, except you have something in you… and it’s more of an up and down movement… and i’m obviously not a pillow… still, there’s really no right way to do it, just go slow and you’ll figure out what works and what doesn’t. plus, i’m here to guide you.”
he gave your ass a squeeze as if to punctuate his sentence, massaging the soft flesh in his palms. when you felt ready, you dropped your hands from his shoulders to his boxers, palming his length a few times before hooking your fingers into the fabric and dragging it down until his cock sprung out.
he definitely wasn’t lying when he said it would stretch you more than the already-big dildo. he was definitely a lot bigger than anyone else you’ve been with, well over average. you nearly dropped at the sight, wrapping your hand around him and jerking him off, eyes fixated on the angry red tip leaking precum as you passed your thumb over it.
the muscles of his abs rippled and squeezed as your worked your hands on his cock, his head thrown back against the headboard and letting out stuttering moans. all the sounds he made encourage you to sit up on your knees, guiding him through your folds and whimpering as you finally sank down on him carefully.
the two of you moaned at the same time, him at how well you squeezed around him and you at how well he stretched you. you stopped when you reached just halfway, unsure whether or not you’d be able to fit more. his hips jerked slightly as his hands squeezed your hips.
“come on, baby,” he moaned softly, looking up at you with encouraging eyes, “just a little more… we can make it fit, right? just breathe.”
you nodded and as you took a deep breath, he used his hold on your to sink you further down until he finally bottomed out. he cursed silently, the back of his head finding the headboard again as you whined and dropped yours onto his shoulder.
you felt his tip pushing against your cervix, the new feeling making a lump form in your throat as you blinked back tears. this time it took a while to get used to the stretch before you tried grinding back and forth. it was slow, almost painfully so. he was amazed that despite stretching you with two different things, you were still so unbelievably tight, hugging him in a death grip as your raised your hips an inch before dropping down again.
your soft noises were muffled by his shoulder as your hands rested on his biceps, panting and squeezing gently as every inch of him dragged against the sensitive spongy patch in your walls every time you grinded on him. soon enough you were able to lift yourself to his tip and drop all the way down, your wetness letting him slip in and out with ease.
still, you kept the pace torturously slow, savouring each bounce and grind. his hands had left your hips at some point, exploring your body under your shirt, massaging your breasts and tweaking your nipples. he lifted the fabric but kept it on your as he watched your tits bounce temptingly, your puffy pink nipples making his mouth water as he pushed himself forward to take one into his mouth.
your hips stuttered as he sucked and nibbled at your nipples, throwing your head back and arching into his touch as your grinds grew sloppy. he felt your decreasing pace, using the hand that wasn’t teasing your other breast to guide your hips once more. he angled you slightly differently in a way that made your clit press against his pelvis each time he bottomed out, the speed of your grinds picking up quickly as his hips bucked up to meet yours.
his lips detached from your bruised breasts with a popping sound as he leaned up to capture your lips in his once again. it wasn’t much of a kiss, more teeth and tongue and moans and groans than anything else as you swallowed each other’s sounds.
you finished first, pushing yourself down hard and stilling, filling yourself with his throbbing cock and pressing your clit against him. he held you tightly, burying his face in your neck to suck at all the spot he knew would get your to writhe. many tickling fights contributed to his knowledge on all your sensitive spots.
your body twitched as you returned to bouncing on his length, your juices looking at his base. the overstimulation burned a little, making your thighs and knees quiver, but you were determined to get him to finish too. and by the looks of it, it shouldn’t take much longer.
“shit, baby,” he said, halfway between a whimper and a moan, fingertips digging into your hips as he threw his head back in bliss, “‘m so close— fuck, you feel s-so good.”
his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, bottom lip caught between his teeth. his cheeks and the tip of his ears flushed a deep red, his plush lips a few shades darker and coated in your mixed saliva from your kisses. as you adjusted the angle of your hips, something in him snapped, grabbing your hips tighter and taking over. he took over your movements, thrusting his hips up desperately as you fell forward onto his chest with the sudden change in intensity. his tip pushed itself against your g-spot continually, another knot tightening in your stomach.
the wet sounds of your cunt and your skin slapping against his egged him on until finally he felt like he couldn’t hold back any longer.
“baby, p-please— fuck— please, can i cum i-inside you?” he begged through a groan, “i— please, angel, i-i can’t wait any longer.”
you nodded against his chest with a whine, you were on the pill anyway. not a second later, he released into you, filling you up with stuttering hips. he pulled you down, flush against him and keeping you there as he emptied himself with softly muttered curses, his head dropping to press open-mouthed kisses to your shoulder.
it felt new to you, the warmth making you squirm until you came again without warning. it was much weaker this time but still enough to make you shake in his arms, panting softly after letting out a strangled moan against his skin.
after a few long moments of trying to recover from the shared orgasm, he lifted his head, one of his hands cupping your chin to tilt your head to look at him.
“so,” he started, lips stretched into a smile, “how’d that feel?”
“fucking amazing.” you rolled your eyes at how smug he looked after your confession, not protesting as he leaned forward to kiss you.
this one was much softer than the previous kisses you shared, much more tender. it was a lot shorter too, he pulled away first to rest his forehead against yours.
“yeah?” he whispered, kissing the corner of your lips, “just wait until i hit it from the back.”
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networks. @cromernet @wonderlandnet @cultofdionysusnet @pirateeznet
permanent taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu @mlink64 @yeosangsbb @seonghwasbbgirl @likexaxdaydream @dreamingofyeo @yalyallic @yunhoswrldddd @coffee-addict-kitten @thunderous-wolf @chngbnwf
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neo-percs · 8 months
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KEEPSAKE:: na jaemin
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WARNING:: 80's au, playboy! Jaemin, car sex, riding, hair pulling, oral, fingering, teasing, fingering, slight edging, overstimulation, slight rejection, teasing, sexual tension
SUMMARY:: after a failed date you expect some sort of a reward for putting up with Jaemin Na who still seems to be hung up on his ex.
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Jaemin Na has been on many dates. One would even say that he has hooked up with half of girls after a date— which were all unsuccessful. It's not that there was anything wrong in particular with the people he has taken out, it's just that none of them have piqued his interest for a second one. And it just so happens that you had been taken on one of the said dates.
When Jaemin asked you out on a date to the movies and dinner you hadn't expected the movie to be some trashy chic flick about an American actress going to Italy and falling in love with her friend's married Italian lover. It dragged on for 2 hours and you couldn't stand to sit through the first minute of opening credits. But not only did you sit through a silent car ride on your way to the restaurant but when you sat inside the restaurant it felt like this terrible date would never end.
"I used to be on the volleyball team before I graduated and I started working with my friend, she's cool- she even has a neck tattoo" he rambled on and on for what felt like a lifetime. Only nodded off as he rambled on and on about working at the old movie theater and something about how his manager only shows up to be a dick.
But low and behold the lovely waitress with a tight-lipped smile "Would you like your bill.. or would you like to swing by a little later?" She asked politely looking at the both of you. "You can give us our check now" you answered quickly before pulling 30 dollars out of your pocket when the check was set on the table.
Once Jaemin had caught his eyes on the cash in your hand he shook his head "You don't have to pay, what kind of guy would I be to make you pay for your food?" He says patting his pockets which makes you roll your eyes "It's fine" you reply flatly pressing the 20 and 10 dollar tip onto the wooden table and like second nature stand from the worn-out booth walk to the class doors pushing them open and making a b-line to the boys nice and shining Pontiac.
Jaemin grew up coddled, he was popular in high school, and he had the cutest girl in his grade. Now he's digging it with girls who never made it past the first date because he never could find a bond with them while working at the local theater and losing all the cool points he's earned on his way up in high school. Well on your end you didn't care for his past reputation, you didn't care for this date and the fact that you haven't had an ounce of fun since you had walked past your front porch was eating you up inside.
When you heard keys jangling in an instant you turned your head being met with Jaemin walking over to the driver's side of the car. Unlocking the doors you both get in and once the car starts you fiddle with the radio never wanting to sit through silence and letting the hum of the radio come out softly through the speakers.
You were so caught up in your thoughts you had failed to realize how dark it had started to get, the once blue sky turned to deep orange and yellow hues. Watching as the power lines zipped past you in a blur, if you were going to sit in this car you would be damned if you had to sit in awkward silence and do nothing.
Just as Jaemin had turned onto the highway the road was seemingly empty as it got darker out and the headlights of his car lighting up the black asphalt on the road. Your view flickering between the road and Jaemin who was watching the road with one hand on the wheel as the other slumped against the middle console.
The sight of his thighs sat stiffly while his jaw clenched. "Jaemin, if you're not over your ex why'd you ask me on a date?" You ask curiously as you tilt your head leaning in a bit pressing the swell of your chest against his hand on the console. "What? I'm over my ex, I have been for a while now. What makes you say that?" He asks as he sputters over his own words at the thought of being hung up on his ex.
"You haven't asked a single thing about me on this date. You only talked about you, and might I add you even talked about your coworker which doesn't help your case at all" you say flatly. "Seriously?! I am over my ex I swear" his voice goes up a few octaves higher as he tries to think of something that obscures the idea.
"When was the last time you slept with someone and enjoyed it then?" You ask with a twisted grin on your lips. You knew the answer but you wanted to hear it from him, you wanted the satisfaction of hearing the words yourself from his lips. "I don't know. And I'll have you know that I have had great sex without my ex" he snarled at you.
"Yeah your words aren't very convincing like... at all," you say as you push your legs under your thighs "I can change that you know? I don't know if by the end of it, you'll even be thinking about her but...I'll occupy your head for a bit," you say, trailing your hand into his lap and rubbing against his thigh.
"What are you doing?" He scoffed as his eyes flicked from his lap with your hand trailing closer to his bulge earning a small gasp from him eliciting a small giggle from your lips loud enough to hear over the buzzing music. "Just keep looking at the road" you whisper as you press your lips to his warm cheek.
Your hand moves closer to his half-hard crotch clad in jeans as you palm him, the feeling of fabric pressed against him has him groaning and running a hand through his dark hair in exasperation. "It's not a good idea to be doing this... while I'm driving" he reasons, which makes you shake your head with a soft smile. "Then focus" You look up at him while your hands move to unzip his pants and unbutton them as well letting him lift his hips while you pull down his jeans far enough over his thighs.
"Shit" he harshly whispers at the feeling of your wet palm wrapping around his cock leaking precum and glistening under the orange and yellow street lights on the side of the road. Taking his cock into your fist, slowly jerking and teasing the tip with your thumb has the boy biting his plump lips while choking back a small groan.
The feeling of your warm tongue has the boy breathing heavily as his foot presses onto the gas harder spreading the car up. "Ease up, you want the car ride to last don't you?" You ask as you look up at him, your tongue pressing flatly against his tip and taking him deeper, letting your lips wrap around him.
The warmth of your mouth around him almost has his eyes rolling, letting his hand rest on the back of your head, needing to push your head down further but letting you slowly take him into the back of your throat as the tip of your nose brushes against his stomach.
Pulling back slowly you began to bob your head, the wet sound of your mouth around his cock has him lightheaded as he drives slower than he normally would on the highway. Flexing his thighs at the feeling "You're so good at this- fuck y/n" he moaned as his jaw slacked at the feeling of your tongue running against the vein on the underside of his cock that had him nearly shivering.
"keep going. Don't stop" he groaned, letting his head fall back. His hair was messily pushed against his forehead as it was soaked from the sweat building at his hairline and his eyes rolled back "You're gonna make me cum" he says breathily as he pushes your hair out of your way turning it into a makeshift ponytail.
Using your hand you hollow your cheeks as your hand takes care of what your mouth wasn't and it had him lost, still trying to focus on the road he makes a turn to the next exit and chooses to go the longer route to your house.
His breathing becomes more and more unhinged as you use both your hands to jerk him off and licking his tip has him moaning while almost swerving into a random mailbox catching himself before doing so. "I'm so close" he moaned as he clutched your hair tighter realizing how agonizing it felt when you hadn't changed your pace at all.
"Please go faster" he begged, making you smile a bit as you moved your hands away from him completely and took him into your mouth while he bucked his hips desperately for a release. you could, feeling the tip nudge the back of your throat while your nose was nestled tightly against his pubic bone. While your eyes are closed tight to focus on relaxing your gag reflex to not ruin the tight feeling for him you move faster hoping that would push him over the edge.
"Oh- fuck" he gasped as he gripped the wheel tighter as he felt his orgasm crash on him like a ton of bricks. "I can't...I can't keep driving or I'm gonna crash- fuck" he whined as he pulls onto the side of the road and cutting the lights and engine. The only sounds that could be heard were Jaemin's heavy breathing.
Watching as you pull back with glossy eyes your cheeks and chin are covered in spit and cum which has his head pulled back against the headrest completely dazed. "You okay?" You ask as you wipe off your face with small puffs of laughter falling past your lips. "I'm good...really good," he says with a faint smirk.
"I wanna make you feel good too," he says, his eyes trailing over to your fully clothed figure, your eyes low and red almost as if you had been high, lips puffy and swollen. "You can do that" You nod as you manage to crawl over the middle console and sit against his thighs, your skirt riding up your legs.
"You're so wet" he whispered as he felt the warmth of your slick panties stick against his skin making you look down where you had been sat with slight embarrassment. His finger rubs against your clothes slit watching as the wet patch on your panties becomes bigger. Pressing his thumb down on your clit had a moan falling past your lips as your hand trailed to his wrist pulling his hand past the waistband of your panties.
"I need you, here." You mumbled as you felt his nimble fingers running against your slit making you whine desperately. Grinding against his fingers you can hear him laughing breathily as he watches you fall apart on top of him. "I'd call you desperate if I didn't want to fuck you so bad," he says as he presses his forehead against yours, watching the way you get off could make him cum untouched.
"Just shut up" you whined out with a small gasp pressing your lips against his hungrily your hand raking through his hair, your tongues lapping against the others and sucking on his pulling away with a small 'pop' you bite your lip as you keep eye contact with him. "Fuck this feels so good" you whisper your forehead still pressed against his as he rubs your clit in Figure 8's.
"Yeah?" He asks as he pulls his hand away and out of your panties earning a small whine from you. His fingers push your panties to the side. "Why?" You practically cry out. Jaemin's eyes never leave yours watching them gloss over from the loss of pleasure. "I want you to cum with me," he says just above a whisper while he takes his length into his hand pumping himself a few times before pressing his tip against your entrance, and with a harsh hiss he's slowly pushing inside your tight walls.
The warm and wet feeling has him drunk on the feeling of you around him. Pushing his seat back far enough that both of you are comfortable Jaemin watches you grind your hips against him slowly as he bottoms out inside you, the feeling being all too good for his liking.
"It's so big" you groan as your hands press against his abdomen lightly bracing yourself to start moving. The soft thudding of your thighs meeting against yours sends goosebumps all over your skin. Jaemin couldn't possibly keep his hands to himself as he finds the hem of your shirt and pulls it over your head.
"No bra?" He groaned watching as your bare chest bounced with every movement you made which has you smiling with your lip caught between your teeth. "You're so big" you slur seeing how good he filled you up to the brim your arms wrap around his neck your foreheads pressed together as you watch his begin to slowly move. Jaemin couldn't get enough of the sight as his cock disappeared inside your Pussy.
His cock is buried deep inside you moan and dig crescent-shaped dents into his skin. set a pace for bouncing in his lap. The feeling of your velvety walls tightening around makes him choke back a moan.
"Oh- god," you whisper shakily. His hands holding onto your hips guiding a pace, the soft sound of skin slapping with your small moans reverberated through the car.
You looked so good with your chest bouncing and your hair all messy. You looked good with a small sheen of sweat on your skin and your makeup smeared, he was addicted to the sight.
He slowly thrusts into you letting you get used to his size not realizing you were beginning to bounce yourself on his lap desperate to feel pleasure. His pace practically teases you and shows you how desperate you are from your small moans and whimpers.
Jaemin; eager to let his load off inside you, holds your thighs stopping you from bouncing any longer, and begins to thrust his hips up into you. The feeling of his tip pushing at your cervix.
His hips push into you as your thighs and ass jiggle at the repetitive thrusts "Oh my god!" You moan as you feel him pounding in a certain part of your walls. You tighten around him as your essence forms a white ring around the base of his dick.
"Just like that" you babble mindlessly as his stomach churns at the words spewing out. "Yeah? Want me to fill you up with my cum?" he groans as the knot in your stomach begins to tighten and Jaemin's death grip on the fat of your thighs almost sends you over the edge if it wasn't for how hard he was pounding you.
he placed his hand on your ass, kneading the flesh harshly as whimpers left his lips at the feeling of your walls closing around him. "Just like that, yes, please please please!!" You beg, feeling yourself getting closer and closer as he punctuates his thrusts. You pull his hair, again and again, harder and you can't help but become more aroused from the sounds he lets fall from his lips.
Sitting up completely Jaemin doesn't hesitate to kiss against your warm skin, from the valley between your breast to sucking on your nipples, the warmth of his mouth has you utterly out of it while you fuck yourself on his cock begging for some sort of release. The sloppy sounds make your head spin, your hand trailing from his hair to between the both of you.
Rubbing your clit in hopes that this would send you closer to your orgasm. "Fuck- oh fuck" he moaned against your chest as you clench around him as he felt pussy drunk with you on top of him. Jaemin could barely comprehend a thing as he stopped you together.
"Get up," he said breathlessly as you pushed yourself off of his lap, you slowly started to crawl back into the passenger seat thinking even the sex was a complete bust. But the feeling of his hands on your waist keeps you from moving. "Bend over into the seat," he says moving out of your way as you feel a smirk on your pretty lips.
With your back arched and your face pushed against the headrest you knew that you were done for, Jaemin pushed inside you again and without a care in the world thrusts into you at the same pace he was going before.
"Harder- please" you moan out as the windows begin to fog over, Jaemin begins to buck his hips into you at a faster pace as the slick sound of your pussy and precum mix loudly along with the patterning of your thighs slapping against his. You feel ecstasy at the way he made you feel so full.
His large hands onto your spine making your chest push into the seat, not that you minded at all. Jaemin from behind absolutely loses his mind as his fingers card through his brown locks. Fucking into you with harsh and sharp thrusts that have your toes curling. Your ass bouncing against his lap has him tossing his head back leaving a stinging sensation in both of your thighs.
you begin to bounce and grind against him to meet his hips. It felt like he was in your stomach and you didn't mind at all, your hands the seat tighter as he used his other hand to wrap around your throat pulling your back against his chest.
"Aw look at you, all fucked out. What would your friends think about me bending you over in my car and fucking you like a slut hm?" He asks as his grip around your throat tightens, you can't even gather your words as he hits a spot that has you breathing shakily and your moans are even louder.
"Right here? Does it feel good here?" He asks as he drags his cock against that same spot again and again "Yeah, it feels so fucking good Jaem" you moan as your eyes roll back. The feeling of his sweet lips on your skin as you feel like you're in heaven.
Your thighs are practically shaking at the feeling, pleasure practically taking over your body as Jaemin pounds you into his front seat without a single care in the world. Pushing your face against the seat while he becomes sloppy and rougher with every passing second you could feel the pressure in the pit of your stomach growing and waiting to be released.
"I can't take it" you moan as you shake your head "I'm gonna cum" you whimper as you feel warm tears slide down your cheeks. "I think you can baby, you wanna cum so bad right? So take what I give you" he orders sweetly in a faux tone. His thrusts are nonstop and you can't help but let the pleasure envelop you.
"Oh fuck" you gasp as the feeling of release comes closer "cum for me. I know you can" he coos at you while pulling your hips into his harder than before tipping you over the edge as your walls clench around him sporadically earning a guttural moan ripping through his throat.
"I'm close, where do you want it?" He asks as he continues to fuck into you "Inside. Please cum inside me" you whimpered before you felt the pressure in your stomach let loose "I got you, you're okay" he praised as his fingers rubbed down your spine leaving goosebumps up and down your body.
A few more thrusts slow and deep have your toes curling and sending Jaemin into an orgasm-struck daze. "Fuck you feel so good" he groans as his hands rub against the red warm skin of your ass. Leaning off you and kissing up your spine as you both bask in your pre-orgasm clarity.
"I see why so many girls like you Jaemin," you say breathlessly with a smile making him chuckle as he runs a hand through his hair slowly pulling out of you with a hiss due to loss of warmth. "Well it's a pleasure to live up to your standards," he says as he reaches into his glove box and pulls out wipes cleaning you up.
The both of you get dressed again and are seated, Jaemin starts the car and the both of you are back on the road with the faint sound of music filling the air as the both of you exchange small words every few minutes until Jaemin turns on the road your house was located.
Pulling into your gravel driveway he parks s and opens his door walking onto your side and opening it offering a hand that makes your brows shoot up at the sudden chivalry, taking his hand and shutting the door behind you he walks you to your front door and as you turn to look at him you see the small smile on his lips. "So...this was nice," he says as he looks down at his feet.
It wasn't... Not until the both of you had sex in the back of his car at least. "Right... just- let me know when you get over Chae" You pat his chest with an awkward grin on your face as you watch his head fall back letting out a groan. "I told you. I'm over her- seriously we broke up and I haven't talked to her since" he shakes his head.
You could tell by the tone in his voice he wasn't, but Jaemin was eager to see you again so it meant he was moving on. One step forward. "Let me know when you're ready for something serious, Jaemin."
You snap your fingers as you give yourself an idea, your hands find themselves under your skirt which has Jaemin in a small shock at your actions seeing a flash of your pink panties as you pull them down your legs and ball it in your hand. "Until then have the panties as a keepsake to get off whenever you like," you say, stuffing the ball of wet fabric into his pockets. and with that, you leave him at your front door with his hand in his pockets clutching your frilly panties.
Opening the door and shutting it behind you Jaemin stands at your doorstep biting his lip turning on his heel and walking back to his car watching how the windows were still a bit foggy. Opening the driver's side to the door and sitting down in his seat he sighs, dragging his finger across the glass in the shape of a U and to small dots in the shape of the tip of his index finger a smiley face left behind.
"I gotta get her on that second date" he huffed to himself as he pulled out of the driveway of your home.
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ohmtoff · 3 months
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you made me think ab nerd nick too damn much its concerning. imagine jerking him off while he yaps ab his geeky stuff, stuttering and his words slurring when you squeeze around his tip
ANON…. youre actually my soulmate how did we think of the same thing (nsfw)
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nerdy nick who’s far sighted so he regularly wears his glasses that make his eyes look bigger and just adorable. his wardrobe consists of graphic tees and hoodies that fit him awkwardly and his hair is most of the time disheveled.
nerdy nick whose budget goes to cosplay and comic con because those things are expensiveee and his brothers try their hardest to support him by helping him make the costumes (imagine nick unironically doing the anime hands thing around chris and matt and they try not to cringe LMFAOOOOO).
nerdy nick who yaps soooo much about his interests, from lord of the rings lore to his fav doctor from doctor who. i can just IMAGINE him making video essays complaining ab the new live action avatar series and how it doesnt hold up to the original series.
nerdy nick who’s the same sassy and witty guy as we know but he also puts that energy to defend his fav characters on the internet. best believe he has a stan account. many of his tattoos are dedicated to his comfort characters as well.
nerdy nick whose interests look innocent to others but behind closed doors he regularly reads and writes the most sheet gripping, back arching, toe curling smut about his fav fictional men. erwin from aot, thorin from the hobbit, ALL of jujutsu kaisen. he furiously stroked his dick to the thought of getting fucked dumb by nanami.
nerdy nick who acted normal and talks about regular stuff when he first met you but when he gets comfortable with you he immediately starts yapping. you think he’s just the most adorable thing when his eyes light up when talking about all his interests. you don’t even know what he’s talking about but your attention is hooked. nick, however, was used to people pretending to care about what he’s talking about so he stops himself.
“i’m sorry. ugh, i always talk too much, that was weird and boring”
“no, no, it’s fine. so… uruk-hais are bred between orcs and humans?”
nick wanted to suck your dick right then and there.
having sex with anime playing in the background was not rare between you two. one time, you both were watching an episode when you got distracted by how his tongue was peeking out with concentration. you noticed how fat his tongue was and how red his lips were. those same lips were wrapped around your cock not long after that. nick was gagging and moaning around it, his eyes bubbling up with tears streaming down his flushed cheeks as he jerked you off from the base. saliva would drip from his mouth, running down his chin as he struggled to take everything down. he was still wearing those same glasses, sliding down his nose from the sweat. he looks up at you with those big puppy eyes, tears running down his face. the sight makes you groan and shove your dick further into his throat. you thought he looked absolutely beautiful with cum streaks on his glasses.
nerdy nick who sometimes rambles too much and in these times you love teasing him. “come on, baby, tell me more,” you whispered to the back of his ear as he writhed and thrashed on your chest, pants gone and his swollen cock red and dripping as you squeezed the base. “time- time lords have two hearts, so,” he lets out a pathetic whine, “so the doctor never dies, he—mmnghh—they instead regenerate into a new body-AH-“ you squeeze and dug your thumb into his leaking tip. his chest heaves and he pants like a dog. “fu—uck, please, please, please. i wann- i wanna cum, oh please.” you think he deserves it so you quicken your strokes and let him cum. his mouth releasing unintelligible noises while those beautiful blue eyes go cross eyed.
nerdy nick who becomes your person and who you will go to endless comic cons with, watch a new series with, and who eventually will turn you into an even bigger nerd than he is😩🤞🏼
a/n: i wrote this without pause wtf
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My Wonder (Spencer Reid x Reader)
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My Wonder (Spencer Reid x Reader) Word Count: 14,842 Reader insert: she/her pronouns. She is not American unless you are, just has a previous history in American law enforcement. Warnings: mentions of murder, crime scenes, guns, near-death experiences, slow-burn romance, drug addiction, death, and some MAJOR FLUFF! Spoilers: none, as Criminal Minds has been out for literal decades so don't get mad.
All his life, Dr. Spencer Reid has been told he is a genius - gifted, different. When you, a new member of the BAU, arrive, he expects the same weirded-out reaction from you as everyone does. But when you don't, and you instead find him interesting, Spencer finds himself forming an attachment to you. And as the years go on, is it really any wonder that he falls for you?
This is six times you secretly say I love you to Spencer, and one time he says it back in the same fashion.
This man has been eating my brain alive for the past few weeks and I know I'm late but damn he deserves all the appreciation he gets. This was just a silly little idea I had because I'm the kind of person to get obsessed quickly and can't move on until I write it out of my system. Seeing how long this turned out, I have split each moment into six smaller, digestible chapters as linked below. Enjoy xx
Full Story | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Spencer Reid was performing some of his physics magic for his colleagues when he first saw you.
He'd just mixed up some water with an antacid tablet and placed within a film canister. He'd done it a hundred times on his own, but he'd only just joined the BAU two months ago, and JJ and Derek hadn't seen it before so he just had to do it. Quickly placing the lid on, he said, 'You can turn around now.'
'I don't understand why we had to in the first place,' Derek said as he grumpily turned around.
'A magician never tells his secrets,' Spencer said, rubbing his hands gleefully. To him, showing off his intellect never got boring.
Well, show off wasn't the proper term. He understood that he could be a lot for some people, knowing so much for a man in his early twenties that looked barely old enough to be out of school, let alone with three Bachelors and PHDs under his belt already. Spouting little known facts or remembering minute details about cases that went back thirty to forty years was just his way of expressing himself. It was his way of contributing to the team. And while his team was getting used to his ramblings and intellect, even demonstrated admiration for it, others would call him a freak.
'If you ask me,' JJ said, 'I wouldn't want to know how he does some things.'
'Fair,' Derek replied, all their eyes on the film canister.
Spencer watched it in anticipation, how the bubbles slipped out between the lid and the canister slowly at first, then started bubbling faster and bigger and-
POP!
The canister rocketed up towards the roof, and all three of them watched with wide eyes as it arced over the bullpen and then down to meet the-
'Ow!'
Spencer ducked into his chair as he watched a young lady in a loose button up shirt, dress pants and boots pat her head. He heard JJ and Derek scurry away, but Spencer remained staring at the woman. Who is she? he thought, his eyes scanning over her.
Your (h/c) hair caught the sunlight, giving it a glow that had Spencer mesmerised. Your (s/c) skin shone with it, making your (e/c) eyes stand out most beautifully. And when you stood back up and made eye contact with him, canister in hand, he found himself frozen, unable to avoid the conclusion that he was the culprit.
'What is this, Reid?' Hotch said, walking up to his desk not looking the least bit impressed. 'Actually, don't answer that. Just don't do it again.'
'Sorry,' Spencer murmured out, a guilty smile stretching his lips slightly.
Hotch blew out a sigh. 'Never mind that now. I would like to introduce you to our new team member. Agent (Y/n) (L/n), a transfer from LA.'
Spencer finally realised that you had walked up with Hotch, and now that you were so close (literally standing a desk apart from one another), he was lost for words at how bright your smile was, and how beautiful you looked that way.
'So you're the one that thought my head was a good landing place for your little... rocket,' you said offering the film canister back, laughter dancing in your words.
It took Spencer a moment for him to realise you wanted him to take the canister back, so he scrambled to his feet, fingers fumbling for the canister. 'No, I-I was just showing how a-an antacid reacts with water, and how, put into a small, confined place, that can cause a chemical, gas-like reaction and cause it to exploded.'
'And launch it like a rocket?' you asked.
He paused as he watched your smile slip a little. Oh no. He'd done it again - made someone feel dumber than him. And while technically that was true, he never meant to make anyone feel like that.
'Y-Yeah?' he answered, awkwardness rising up in his throat, freezing his limbs, his brain.
But then suddenly your smile returned, melting his fear and doubt as you said, 'Cool! I've always loved chemistry. I actually did a Bachelor of Science with a major in archaeological science and a minor in chemistry before I started my BA in Criminology.'
'And now you're here,' he said, a soft smile of his own tugging at his lips.
You nodded, looking around what would now be your new home. 'And now I'm here.'
'Fascinating,' Spencer breathed out. He didn't mean to, but it made you smile more so he didn't mind. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't introduced himself. He struck out his arm, rigid as a board, and offered his hand. 'Sorry, I'm Dr. Spencer Reid.'
'Pleasure to meet you, doctor,' you said, taking his hand and shaking it firmly. You skin was as soft as it looked, Spencer noted. 'I very much look forward to working with you and the rest of the team as we go forward.'
'We've got a briefing in five minutes, Reid,' Hotch interrupted, moving to step away from the conversation. 'I'll introduce you to the rest of the team then, (L/n). And if I find you firing another film canister through the sky, Reid-'
'Yes, yes, sorry, no more rockets. Airspace Reid is officially grounded,' Spencer quickly replied, not wanting to get lectured like a twelve-year-old like he usually did.
Your tinkling laughter drew his attention back to you, and he was baffled by the wonderment dancing in your eyes as you looked at him. 'You are a wonder, Dr. Spencer Reid.'
'T-Thanks?' he replied, although he wasn't quite sure if you were making fun of him or not. Most people did if they didn't straight up tell him he was annoying.
Hotch walked away, but you remained for a moment, leaning in close to whisper, 'That's a good thing, by the way.'
'Oh. Right.'
You flashed him one last smile before following your new unit chief, falling back into easy conversation with him as you gracefully floated through the chaotic goings of the office. Spencer couldn't take his eyes off you as you did, in awe of your grace and poise, and how you didn't even stumble when you spoke with him. You were genuine, upfront and honest. You couldn't be much older than himself, he noted, perhaps even younger. He was used to being the baby of the team, but it looked like that would be changing.
The prospect of being able to connect with someone his own age sent an unfamiliar but not unwelcome flutter through his heart.
'Oh, you've got it bad.'
Spencer spun in his chair to see JJ and Derek standing behind him once more, watching him with knowing grins.
'What? What have I got?' he asked. 'I'm not sick... I don't think.'
JJ rolled her eyes and giggled as she walked away, Spencer just catching a quiet, 'This'll be fun,' as she did. But Derek walked closer, placing a firm hand on his shoulder, and that knowing grin stretched wider, more feline and cheeky.
'Don't worry, pretty boy,' he said. 'You'll figure it out soon. You're smart, right?'
'Well, smart isn't really the quite term for someone with an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187-'
'And pep talk is over,' Derek interrupted, abruptly walking away back to his desk and leaving Spencer in a disarray of emotions.
So he looked back to where you had gone, and found you speaking with Penelope, nodding enthusiastically to whatever she was talking to you about. But you weren't just being polite, you appeared genuinely interested in the conversation, even though Spencer noted you barely contributed to it.
'You are a wonder, Dr. Spencer Reid.'
All his life, Spencer had been told he was a genius - gifted, different. It had just become an effortless part of who he is. It was almost expected at this point to see weirded-out or overly-amazed expressions from people he didn't know. So why then, when you said that to him, did he feel happy about it?
He checked his watch. Almost briefing time. He got up from his seat and made his way to the briefing room where only a place beside you was available. Maybe he would find out soon enough.
~
It became a casual thing, for you to comment on how wonderful Dr. Spencer Reid was. Every day in the office, whenever you travelled to cases, even out in the field, sometimes in not-so-great situations.
It was only ever once, but you always managed to find something to say, 'You are a wonder, Dr Reid,' to him. Sometimes it was his full name, sometimes just doctor. Sometimes, he was just Spencer. Apart from JJ, you were the only one who ever really called him by his first name. Oddly enough for him, he liked it when he was just Spencer, not the Boy Genius or freak or computer.
But the next time you told him that and it meant something to him was ten months after he ended his drug addiction.
He sat at his desk in the bullpen finishing some paperwork, or at least attempting to. They'd just gotten back from a long and exhausting case and his brain (the very thing he knew he could always rely on) refused to coordinate with his hands and eyes. The information he wished to write out felt jammed at his fingers tips, appeared blurry in his vision.
'Gosh,' he breathed out, leaning back in his seat defeated as he rubbed at his tired eyes. No doubt black bags sagged beneath them.
It had been a long, exhausting case. The team had gone to Dallas to find a serial killer who'd been leaving a trail of dead doctors and pharmacists over the span of months which had suddenly turned into weeks, then days once the team joined the case.
The unsub had spiralled, devolved so to say, alluding to a psychotic break. But when they'd found him, he was not the malicious, sadistic person they'd first expected. Spencer was the first on the scene and had instead found a young man in his early twenties, not much younger than himself. All he'd wanted was some off-market narcotic that took away the pain from the physical abuse he received from his father.
And while Spencer's trauma was not the same, he couldn't help but see the parallels. When he'd looked the young man in the eyes, it was like looking into a mirror. All he saw was himself, drowning in his own trauma, his own fear, his own pain.
Spencer scoped the bullpen, suddenly noticing the silence. Not a single person was left. He then looked at his watch - half past ten. He hadn't noticed people leaving whatsoever. Not surprising considering his current state, his current condition.
Spencer slowly reached down to the bottom drawer of his desk, a sudden urge coursing through him to do so. Slowly again, almost hesitantly, he pulled it open and leafed through the many spare manilla folders that sat oddly in there until he reached the bottom.
It was just one vial, but just the mere sight of it sent relief rushing through Spencer. Dilaudid. He gently cradled it up to his eyes, admiring how the glass doors of the entrance became obscured as he looked through the transparent but murky liquid. After this case, what he wouldn't give to have a needle right now. Just one hit-
'Well, if it isn't Dr. Spencer Reid burning the midnight oil.'
Spencer almost dropped the vial as he scrambled to shove it deep into his pant pocket just as you appeared out of nowhere from the conference room.
'Sorry,' you said, an apologetic smile already on your lips. 'I didn't mean to startle you.'
'It's okay,' he replied as casually as possible. It was one thing to nearly be caught out by your colleague that you had an illegal narcotic you used to have an addiction for in your hand, but another when that colleague is one you've admired since the day you met. 'I was lost in thought, anyways.'
'Well just as well then. I can only imagine how depthless your brain must go with all that knowledge crammed in there.' You walked down the stairs to the floor of the bullpen and walked to him. You were still in your clothes from the past twenty-four hours, and your light makeup looked like it was lifting off your face like a second skin. Even your unrelenting smile seemed to sag with exhaustion.
Spencer straightened up in his seat, suddenly concerned. 'You okay, (Y/N)? You look-'
'Like trash?' you finished as you pulled up a chair of your own and sat in front of him. 'I have no doubt.'
Spencer looked behind your back into the conference room, his eyebrows furrowing when he spotted stacks of folders and loose paperwork spread across the table. 'That all yours?'
You looked back to the mess of words and paper you'd just escaped and sighed dramatically. 'Oh, yeah. Seems like the longer the case, the more paperwork you have to do. Poor trees.'
'Yeah...' Spencer found it odd how much paperwork you had to get through. Even he didn't have that much to get through. But before he could question you about it, your soft voice filled the damning void that surrounded him.
'How are you feeling, you know, after this case?'
'What do you mean?' he asked.
'Don't give me that,' you say, your smile now replaced by a seriousness Spencer only saw on you when you were making an arrest or in really dire situations. You've worked together for almost three years now, he knew all the faces you pulled, all of your likes and dislikes, how you liked your coffee only after you've completed one task for the day to prove you can survive without it but choose not to.
He knows you, so it should not be surprising that you know him just as well.
'The moment we found out the unsub's objective, you've been a little... off.'
'Well, it shouldn't be surprising considering that was me just ten months ago,' he said matter-of-factly, pulling back into his shell, putting up his guard. 'I mean, if Hotch hadn't have found out about it, that could've been me-'
'No it wouldn't have.'
Spencer scoffed, but not in a demeaning manner. He just didn't believe you for a moment because he could see the facts, the statistics, in his head. 'Over 45% percent of addicts relapse at least twice. This is without the intervention or support by health care clinics and families and friends, and this case just proved that. So, yes, it could've been-'
'But it wasn't,' you intervened again, your voice echoing like soft thunder through the empty office. It gave you presence, forcing Spencer to look at you, like really look at you, and face what you were about to say.
'You had help and support from people that care about you, Spence,' you continued, sitting forward in your seat. 'And I don't care about the statistics, you're not one of them. You're your own person and you can determine where you add value in life, not by some... statistically-informed percentage prediction... thing.'
That drew a laugh out him, the quiet but sudden sound surprising him slightly. 'Stastically-informed percentage prediction, huh?'
'Shut up,' you grumbled and playfully punched his shoulder. When you both calmed down, you continued. 'When I realised who we were looking for, for a moment I kind of got scared.'
Spencer raised a quizzical eyebrow 'Scared?'
You nodded. 'The truth is that... when you were kidnapped and... you had to endure all that pain alone... I was terrified. We all were. Even when we found you, I was terrified. Because I knew you would never be the same, and not that it's your problem, but I knew in that moment that I would never forgive myself for not finding you sooner. For not going with you and JJ to the farm.'
Tears welled up in your eyes and Spencer immediately leant forward. To do what, he didn't know, he just needed you to know he was there for you, like you always were for him.
'I'm sorry,' you mutter, blinking the tears away before they could fall. 'Your trauma is not my own. I have no right to express my guilt.'
'There's nothing to feel guilty for,' he said, reaching out slowly with his hands, the ones that slightly shook as he laid them on your own.
To his relief, you smiled. It wasn't full, but it was there. 'You're a horrible liar, Spencer Reid.' That brought some laughter out of you both, lightening the suffocating air of the office.
'But even when we found out about you and the dilaudid,' you continued, pulling yourself together, if only to let Spencer know your true thoughts. 'I wasn't even mad.'
A large lump formed in Spencer's throat, and he had a hard time swallowing it along with the threat of tears that burned behind his amber eyes. 'You... You weren't?'
It was the mixture of surprise and hope that pulled at your heart, that made you feel obligated to keep speaking. 'Why should I have been? I was not the one who was tortured mentally and physically by a split-personality murderer; and who also witnesses the darkest, most ugliest aspects of humanity every single day of his life. It was not my place to judge how you hold onto your own humanity.'
Your eyes until then had never left his, but they flickered downwards then, and Spencer froze at where your gaze landed.
It only lasted a moment before your eyes returned to his, and it startled him the lack of sympathy he finds there, but instead warmth. 'It is still not my place to judge,' you said, twisting your hands so they could clasp his fully. 'All I know is that... you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. So much stronger than me, JJ, Pen, Emily - heck, I'd say you're even stronger than Derek. But not Hotch, Gideon, and Rossi, though. Then again, no one is.'
You both chuckled at that, and all the tension in his body seemed to dissipate at the sound. So light and airy, it was what he imagined heaven sounded like.
'The point is,' you continued, giving his hands a squeeze, 'you are a wonder, Spencer Reid. We all see it. You've just got to now see it, too.'
Spencer stared at you, dumbfounded and conflicted within himself. He felt like he wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. And a great urge to suddenly engulf you in a hug started itching his limbs, which was weird because he didn't care much physical affection, or affection in general. But before he could decide what he wanted to do, you decided for him.
You gave his hands one last squeeze before letting go and standing up. The absence of your touch left him cold as he followed you as you went back into the conference room to pack up. Surprisingly it didn't take you long until you came back out, your coat and bag in hand.
'Don't stay up too long, now,' you said as you passed him by, your smile so radiant it was almost as if you weren't crying just a few minutes before. 'We've got a long day ahead.'
As soon as the elevator door closed on you, he pulled out the vial of dilaudid and stared it down. It was like it was taunting him, sitting idly, innocently, in his palm, as if it knew he desperately wanted it, needed it.
'...you are stronger than you give yourself credit for... you are a wonder, Spencer Reid. We all see it. You've just got to now see it, too.'
For some reason, though, he suddenly didn't need it. The fire, the urge, the want and reliance for it - he was suddenly weightless with clarity, if only for a moment.
Spencer chucked the vial in the dumpster outside the office when he left. It was hard, but he did it. He knew he wasn't cured, that there was still a long road ahead. But it was a start.
The next day when he came into the office, Derek was the first to comment on his haggard appearance.
'Seriously man,' he said, trailing Spencer out of the break room, 'you look like a ghoul. Did you sleep at all last night.'
'I was here late last night doing paperwork,' he explained, sitting himself and his coffee down at his desk. 'You should go see (y/n), she probably looks a little worse for wear herself from staying late last night, too.'
'Oh, she stayed late too, did she?'
'It's not like that,' Spencer insisted, swatting at Derek pathetically. 'She had a mountain of paperwork to finish of her own.'
'Y/N?' Emily said as she walked by with JJ, identical coffees in their hands. 'She finished her paperwork at about the same time I did.'
'Yeah, we were walking out together before she turned back into the office. Said she had to talk with Hotch,' JJ said.
'I remember that,' Spencer added. 'You guys said goodnight to me on your way out.' Not that he had responded, he suddenly recalled, a pang of guilt punching his gut.
'Who had to talk with me?' The man himself suddenly walked by, stopping at the congregated group upon hearing his name.
'Y/n,' Emily answered. 'Last night.'
'Oh, yes. She, uh, asked if there was anymore paperwork to do.'
'Why would she do that when she was done?' JJ asked.
'I don't know,' Hotch said, making his way towards his office, 'but who am I to turn away someone who wants to do paperwork for free? Now, briefing in ten minutes.'
As the others dispersed back to their desks, Spencer didn't know how to feel about this new information. It didn't help the matter when you finally dragged yourself into the office, dark circles peaking out from under your thin layer of foundation. But as you sat at your desk, eyes drooping as you logged onto your laptop, he knew just what to do.
It took you a second to register the cup of coffee being held in front of your dazed eyes, and another to realise who was holding it.
'Late night?' Spencer asked, a coy smile on his lips.
Despite your exhaustion, you managed to grab the cup without spilling any of the precious caffeine that would help you through the day. 'Yeah,' you decided to play dumb, answering as enthusiastically as possible. 'Paperwork, you know. Never-ending.'
Spencer hummed, contemplating his next words carefully. 'Well, I hope giving up your sleep was worth it, then.'
'I'd like to think it was.'
The way you didn't hesitate to answer struck a chord of truth in him that left him dumbfounded once more. Twice in under twenty-four hours? That had to be a new record for him.
But instead of freezing up, he managed an honest smile as he clanked his coffee cup with your own. 'Well... it is certainly most appreciated.'
~
The next time you dumbfounded him, he almost kissed you.
Ever since you had joined the BAU, you and Spencer had alway had a sweet partnership. But after that night in the office, you had become inseparable. Best friends, to put simply. You stayed late at the office to keep each other company, brought each other coffee and treats, spent free days checking out the new films playing in the cinema.
You had inside jokes, and fought like an old, married couple - a fact the team loved to bring up whenever possible. But you liked it like that. Spencer was your person, and you were his.
And as much as he wowed you everyday, you managed to surprise him on occasions, too.
You were both paired up to interrogate a suspect. You personally didn't believe she was the killer, but Spencer didn't like to base anything from solely his gut. In other words, he was skeptical.
'I didn't kill those women,' your suspect said. 'And even if wanted to kill them, it would be for something more worthwhile than a stupid role.'
'Jealously isn't as far-fetched a reason to kill as you may believe,' Spencer stated to her. 'Particularly in women, the feeling of being threatened or in danger of losing something important to them brings out almost a maternal instinct to protect what they believe to be is theirs.'
'You think all actresses are that low? That shallow?' The young woman was pretty, but her face scrunched up in an ugly manner at the insinuation.
'He doesn't think that at all,' you interjected. 'In fact, he quite likes actresses, don't you buddy?'
Spencer gave you a side eye to which you smiled sickly-sweetly at in return. You were never going to let the Lila fling down any time soon.
You looked back at the young woman, your face returning to empathetic, concerned. She had a wall up, she was wearing a mask. If you wanted answers out of her, you needed to connect with her.
You leaned forward on the table, positioning yourself in front of Spencer so all her focus was on you.
'Anna,' you said softly, like you were speaking to a friend. 'I know you didn't do it. You're different than all those other girls right? You've worked hard to get where you are. Small town girl wanting to make a name for herself in an industry that can be ruthless and heartless as the killer that's still out there. You are classically trained, by-the-book, no shortcuts. I bet you started on the stage of your elementary school, landing the lead role.'
The young woman looked at you with skepticism for a moment, then you saw a crack in her mask as she nodded. 'I was Mary in the Christmas production. But it wasn't until high school when we preformed Shakespeare's The Tempest that I knew this was what I wanted to do with my life.'
Spencer noticed your smile now, how it lifted in a manner that sung of melancholy and fondness.
'"We are such stuff as dreams are made on.",' you said whimsically, and Spencer noted a familiarity that had the words rolling off your tongue with ease. Like it was muscle memory.
'Such a beautiful line, right?' the young woman asked.
'Yes, but, when translated into our modern English, it is quite sad really.' You make eye contact with the young woman and hoped she saw the understanding and slight desperation in your eyes. 'It means that life is an illusion, and a fleeting one at that. I don't necessarily believe in the first part of that, but it is true that life is fleeting. So before you end up the next aspiring actress in our morgue, you've got to tell us everything you know.'
The rest of the interrogation went smoothly. Honestly, it was the easiest one Spencer had ever sat in before. And all the while he had just sat there in awe of you.
'I didn't know you read Shakespeare,' he said randomly as they drove together in a local police SUV to meet with the rest of the team at the new suspect's house.
You scoffed. 'See that's the biggest misconception of Shakespeare. That it can only be read. In fact, it actually shouldn't be just read. It needs to be performed.'
Amusement danced upon Spencer's lips. 'Are you saying you were in a Shakespearean play? Which one? Actually, let me guess. Romeo and Juliet.'
'That's a cliche.'
'Twelfth Night? How about Taming of the Shrew?'
'Why do you want to know so badly?'
'Because I...' It suddenly occurred to him that he didn't quite know why he wanted to know. Only that he knows everything and you were his best friend and he didn't know something about you.
You spared him a sympathetic smile from the driver's seat before returning your eyes to the road. 'If you must know... it was actually The Tempest. It was my high school's production, too. And as much as he irritates me, I grew fascinated with Shakespeare's work after that. It even prompted me to do a unit or two in Shakespearean literature and performance during my uni days.'
You allowed yourself to slip back in time a little to those days, that melancholy and fondness finding its way back into your smile, Spencer noticed.
'Outside of Shakespeare though, I'll admit... I was a theatre kid.'
'No way!' Spencer exclaimed. 'You?'
'Why is it so unbelievable that I used to dress up and spout lines that no one really understood?' you asked, but you weren't offended. Simply amused that you seemed to have stunned the (until now) un-stunnable Dr. Spencer Reid.
'Because... it's just so left of field from anyone else in the team.'
'And is that a bad thing?'
'...not at all,' he said after a moment, and then proceeded to drop the matter entirely. Spencer Reid never forgets anything, he couldn't forget, not with his eidetic memory. But he made extra special care to file that little fact about you away for now.
A few days after returning home from wrapping that case up, you came into work to find your coffee already made on your desk, and beside it was an envelope. Curious, you swiftly opened the envelope and gasped with pure surprise at what you found.
'I thought you might like them,' Spencer said as he approached you, his own coffee in hand. 'The ticket vendor said they were the best seats in the house.'
'Oh my God, Spencer!' You couldn't help yourself, you leapt onto the gangly man like a frog and held him tighter than you'd ever hugged someone before, avoiding spilling Spencer's coffee. You were so excited you even smacked a fat, grateful kiss on his unsuspecting cheek before letting him go. 'Tickets to ASC's production of The Tempest?! How did you even get these, I was told they were all gone.'
'Believe it or not, I have connections everywhere,' Spencer answered a bit too vaguely but you didn't care. 'Even in areas that aren't of my particular expertise. I figured you and a friend could go enjoy it before it finishes up.'
'You mean you're not coming?'
Spencer tried not to read into it too much, but he swore he heard a little hiccup in your question, like you were upset. 'W-Well, I, I, uh, didn't want to assume anything. I mean, y-you might want to take JJ, or Emily-
'Spencer.' It was ridiculous how easy he listened when you said his name, how he dropped everything to listen to what you had to say whenever you did. And his heart faltered when he made eye contact with you and saw joy and hope lighting up your eyes. 'Would you like to come to the show with me?'
And it wasn't any wonder, then, that he replied without hesitation, 'Y-Yeah! All right, s-sure. Would love to.'
'Amazing!' Spencer once again had to juggle his coffee and you as you squeezed all the air out of him in another bone-crushing hug. 'Spencer Reid, you have just made my day.'
It was a week later and the night of the performance. You drove yourself and Spencer two and a half hours straight from Quantico down to Staunton to the American Shakespeare Centre, reciting and recalling your favourite Shakespearean moments the whole trip.
Spencer made the extreme effort to look presentable, pulling out a nice suit set, even replacing his usual casual sneakers with some shiny boots. His hair was slicked back out of his face, with only the slightest stubble on his chin and upper lip.
When you picked him up, you said he looked handsome. He never cared much for his appearance, but that comment warmed his heart slightly, made him sit more upright in his seat.
Once you pulled up and got out of the car, he finally saw you in all your glory. A navy blue dress clung to your frame beautifully; kitten heels cradled your feet as you walked up the stairs to the theatre's entrance; your jewellery brought out the (e/c) in your eyes, even further accentuated by your simple makeup and hair.
Spencer has met Nobel price winners, attorney generals, even spoken with the most psychotic people humanity has to offer. And yet there you stood - ethereal, angelic, striking him silent with just your presence.
'You coming, Boy Wonder?'
You'd reached the top the stairs without him moving a muscle. Embarrassed, he tried to cover it up with a cough as he scrambled to catch up with you. 'Boy Wonder? Where did that come from?'
You shrugged playfully as you hooked your arm through his. 'Just seemed appropriate.'
'I'm twenty-seven, (y/n). I'm hardly a boy.'
'Oh, so would you prefer I call you Batman?'
Spencer raised a quizzical eyebrow. 'I didn't know you liked DC comics.'
'There's a lot you still don't know about me, Spencer Reid,' you answered, handing over your tickets to the ticket vendor at the door. 'Like how I've always preferred Robin over Batman, anyway.'
You quickly found your seats, and Spencer tried not to acknowledge how tight-knit the seats were pressed together. His thigh pressed lightly against your own, and he couldn't tell if he hated or liked the feeling that suddenly sprouted in his gut.
It distracted him so much that instead of watching the performance, he looked at you. How you reacted to each sonnet, to the entrance of new characters, to the costuming and the music and emotion that filled the room with every word spoken. He watched it all, your joy, your love. Your heart was on your face, and it struck something new and unexplored inside him.
You cried at one point, and physical touch wasn't his forte, but he intertwined his fingers with yours and gave them a reassuring squeeze that he was there. You'd turned to him briefly and nodded, showing that you understood and that you were grateful.
You didn't let go of his hand for the rest of the show.
'Wow,' you breathed out as you exited the theatre, the performance finally done. 'That was...'
'Yeah. I feel the same,' Spencer finished, his hands shoved into his pockets as they walked down the stairs towards the carpark. His hand still burned from your touch, and that unsure feeling in his gut still remained.
'It was just so... magical.'
'I would say impressive, but magical works too, I guess.'
'Says the guy who still goes trick-or-treating on Halloween and believes in ghosts. Don't tell me you don't believe in the supernatural now.'
'I'm not saying I don't believe. I'm just saying that it's impressive that they were able to make fantastical magic seem slightly realistic.'
You playfully shove him, causing you both to fall into laughter. The two different melodies mixing together made Spencer feel lighter than he'd felt in a while. This was different to when you usually hung out. This time, there was no case, no team, nothing but yourselves to worry about.
'It doesn't matter, anyways,' you said, stopping on the steps suddenly. Spencer went down one more before stopping too. You smiled gratefully at him. It was a cool, autumn night, cool enough that your breath danced like ghosts in front of you as you spoke. 'Thank you, Spence. This was a wonderful night. You didn't have to do this.'
'I know,' he said, and it startled him how quiet and soft his voice was. 'I just... I just wanted you to enjoy the stuff you love. You deserve to enjoy the stuff you love.'
His acute eyes fell to your shoulders and noticed the slight shake in them. 'Here.' He wasted no time pulling his jacket off and wrapping it around your shoulders, pulling it tight to capture the warmth.
You gratefully held onto the jacket, the warmth it captured seeping into your eyes. 'You truly are a wonder, Spencer,' you said, your words dancing in between you two.
He was only the step down now, making you two eye level with one another. He was so close he could see himself in your eyes. He wondered if you could see yourself in his.
'Am I?' he asked, his breath mixing with yours.
'Yeah...'
He felt your warmth, and he suddenly decided that he liked the feeling in his gut. The one that had been driving him crazy all night. The one that had an iron grip on his mind, his heart. The one that pulled him closer to you, to your lips.
His eyes were almost closed and his lips almost on yours. You didn't back away - you didn't want to back away you realised. No matter how hard your heart pounded in your chest. No matter if he was your best friend.
So you leaned in too, and you could just feel the stars and planets align as you tasted his breath-
The front of your heel slipped on the edge of the step, sending you flying forwards into Spencer's chest. His reflexes had improved immensely since joining the BAU, and so he managed to grab hold of you and hold himself up before your momentum could send you both tumbling down the remaining stairs.
You both breathed in heavy gulps of air, steadying both your hearts from what could've happened.
'Nice catch,' you said after a moment, loosening your grip on Spencer only a little.
'Thanks.' He didn't know where to look. You, the ground, his surroundings. It all just felt muddled, as if his whole world had been tilted on its axis.
In a sense, it had.
But he felt your gaze, and he couldn't deny your eyes so he looked at you also. You eyes were blown wide, and the slight catch in your breath had him second guessing himself. Maybe he'd read you wrong after all. He'd never been wrong before, but there was always a first time for everything, he figured.
'(Y/n), look, I-'
Before he could attempt to salvage himself, the irritating ring of his phone went off, breaking the glass dome of solitude you'd' forged together with nothing but words and air.
This forced you apart, awkwardly so, as Spencer readjusted you on his step before letting you go completely and fishing his phone out of his pant pocket. He checked the ID caller: Hotch.
He accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear. 'Hotch, what's up?'
'New case,' the unit chief answered without pleasantries. 'I know we're all meant to be off for the weekend but this one is important.'
'Where is it and we'll be there.'
'You're with (Y/n), right? In Staunton?'
'Yeah, why?'
'Head to the local police. We'll meet you there. That's where the case is.'
'Okay. Gotcha.'
Hotch ended the call and then it was just him and you once more. Although instead of the air feeling freeing and warming, Spencer couldn't seem to get enough in his lungs. It was like he was suffocating, having to face you again.
So he slipped into work mode, keeping Hotch's urgency and the new case in the forefront of his mind. 'New case. Here in Staunton. Hotch wants us to head down to the police and meet them there.'
'Right.' You seemed to think the same as him - it's probably why you were best friends to begin with - as the ethereal light in your eyes dimmed with the severity of the new situation. Without another word, you both bee-lined for the car, jumped in, and made your way to the local police station.
But for the rest of the case, Spencer couldn't help but think about that moment with you on the steps. He'd kissed before, of course, even dabbled in flirting despite how little he knew about the craft. He'd never imagined he'd attempt it all on you, however. Not even in his wildest dreams.
~
He didn't hear your heart-stopping compliment again until it was almost too late.
After the Staunton case, you and Spencer had been... odd. Well, mainly Spencer, as he spoke as little as possible to you during cases, and always offered to go with anyone else but you on certain tasks. He even stopped coming over to yours for movie night each Saturday, claiming each time to be busy or unwell. It was Spencer's only way of ensuring nothing like that night ever happened again.
He convinced himself the moment was fleeting, just a mixture of chemicals in his brain combined with the adrenaline of being with a beautiful women he very much admired that made him read the signs wrong. You were friends, that was all you were, and all he would ever allow you to be.
This went on for three months.
And you were miserable.
Emily, JJ and Penelope recognised the change in your demeanour at work first, and when they found out the reason behind it, they slapped Spencer upside the head on their way out of the office one Friday afternoon and took you with them, promising a wonderful night out on the town.
That night, to Spencer's eventual annoyance, you'd met someone. A charming young firefighter named Riley who lived in Washington DC and was just in town to see family.
That night, you hooked up. And the next morning, he asked you on a date. That date led to another, then more. You were on your way to another one tonight when you got a phone call from JJ saying they found the latest unsub's house and were planning a raid on it.
Spencer knew you were on a date when he also got the phone call to come along. Despite his distance (by his own choice, he always had to remind himself), he kept tabs on you, checked in on you via others. And while the girls of the team were awfully mad at him, they always answered him when he asked how you were doing.
'You know, for a genius, you really are quite stupid,' JJ told him when he asked about you.
He quirked his eyebrow, genuinely confused. 'I'm sorry?'
'She's heartbroken,' Penelope added. 'Her best friend just gives her the silent treatment out of nowhere after what sounded like a magical night at the theatre. Who wouldn't be upset by that, Reid?'
'I just,' he paused, rallying his thoughts into words that couldn't quite describe how he felt. 'It's complicated.'
'Love shouldn't be complicated, Reid,' Emily interjected, a soft but sad smile gracing her painted lips.
Spencer swallowed thickly at that. 'W-What do you mean?'
Derek finished making his coffee and took a sip of it before answering. 'We all see it, Reid. You don't have to deny anymore how you feel.'
'I'm not denying anything, Morgan.'
'Maybe not to us,' Derek continued. 'But you are definitely denying it to yourself. All I can say is don't wait until it's too late. She's already slipping away.'
That's when Spencer found out about your dates with Riley, and an ugly, selfish, hurt part of him wanted to scream with anger. Mainly at himself, but the damage was done and he had to get over you.
But when you showed up to the unsub's home, your FBI bullet-proof vest on and mascara slightly smeared under your eyes, he was beyond confused. And concerned.
'You're here,' he stated matter-of-factly.
'You sound surprised,' you answered stiffly, loading your gun without even glancing at him.
'To be honest, yeah. JJ and the rest all said you were out tonight. I figured you-'
'What? That I would ignore the call because I had something personal planned?' You finally looked up at him, and man did your cold stare pierce him like an arrow. 'This is my job, Spence. I knew, same as you and everyone else, that I would have to make some sacrifices to do it. So please, don't think so little of me just because I attempted to have a life outside of it.'
He grew more concerned at your choice of words. 'Attempted?' he asked, but then he looked closely at your smeared mascara, at the redness circling your eyes. Like you'd been crying-
'Don't worry about it,' you muttered, brushing past him to meet up with the team. 'You haven't for about four months now.'
Spencer tried to ignore the sting your words brought with them as he followed you to the rest of the team, forcing himself to put the case in front of you. But he'd done that for the past four months as you had so brightly pointed out, and look where it had landed him.
'Now remember,' Hotch started, bringing the team and some other officers in to brief, 'this unsub may use this place as his base to build his bombs, but don't discredit the idea that he wouldn't blow it up to save himself. Tread carefully but be vigilant, he is in the house somewhere. Now move.'
Spencer followed you into the house through the front door, gun and flashlight at the ready. All that could be heard were the soft but swift patter of footsteps as the FBI and local police ran in. The lights were on, but no unsub.
You were silently directed by Hotch to investigate the back end of the house, to which Spencer and Derek followed. You focussed on maintaining your breathing as you tried not to think about your date, Spencer, your heart thrashing in your ribcage. Only the unsub mattered.
The three of you broke into the last room of the house, the laundry. Upon entry, you spotted him, the unsub, running out the back door into the backyard.
'Hey!' you called out, immediately breaking into a sprint after him. You broke out of the laundry onto a cemented path towards a clothes line, chasing after him towards the fence line. But as you stepped off the path and onto the grass, something gave way beneath your feet, followed by a resounding click that had your freezing with fear.
'(L/n), keep going!' Derek shouted from somewhere behind you.
'Hold up!' you cried, throwing an arm back behind you. 'I think the yard is full of bombs.'
'Well, let's go around the front and get him in the back streets, come on!'
'I can't,' you replied back, slightly breathless from running, but also from the fear constricting now your airways.
'Why?' You didn't have to see him to know it was Spencer, concern dripping from just one word.
'Because I'm standing on one.'
Spencer knew it was physically impossible, but he was sure his stomach just dropped out of him and onto the bomb-littered grass around them. This was bad. Like very very bad.
'Shit,' Derek breathed out before bringing his wrist up to his mouth. 'Hotch, the unsub got away over the back fence, send some men to intercept him two blocks north from here.'
'Got it,' Hotch answered efficiently.
'And send the bomb squad out here. Yard is like a mine field and (L/n) is standing on one.'
After that, it didn't take long for the rest of the team to run outside, making extra careful to stand only on the pavements as they got as close to you as they could. Spencer stood the closest, standing directly in front of you as the bomb squad swept the yard for the rest of them.
'I've got some good news and some bad news,' one member of the bomb squad said as she came up to the team. 'Good news is it's the only bomb in the yard.'
'And I just managed to find it. Super,' you muttered, your tone shaky although the intention was to lighten the mood.
'Bad news is it's a pressure-triggered bomb, meaning that if you move even a fraction it'll go off. Also, by stepping on it, you've set of a timer until it explodes. The only way to disarm it seems to be a code of some kind.'
'How long do we have?' Spencer asked, not bothering to mask his desperation. This couldn't be happening. Of all the people, it had to be you.
'Six hours now,' she said grimly. 'My team and I will do everything we can to dismantle it and shut it off manually, but it's built quite strong so it'll be tough to crack open without setting it off. Your best bet will be to get an answer from your bomber.'
'Uniforms just called in,' Rossi said. 'They're bringing him in now.'
'Good,' Hotch said with a ferocity that would send most people running for the hills. 'He's gonna give us that code one way or another.' He turned to you, determination blazing in his eyes. 'Hang tight, (Y/n). We're gonna get you off that thing.'
'I'll hold you to that,' you joked, and you were grateful to receive a soft smile in return from Hotch and the rest of the team. Except for Spencer, he couldn't find it in himself to smile. He could barely think no thanks to your dangerous position.
'I'll stay with (Y/n),' Spencer said, his voice strained compared to his usual calmness.
'Reid,' Derek started, 'you're our best bet to crack open this guy. If we find something-'
'Then I'll have my phone ready to pick up. I'm not leaving her.'
It surprised you the strength you heard hidden underneath his fear. It was there in his eyes too, blazing like Hotch's, except with more warmth, more determination.
Derek looked to Hotch, and Hotch just nodded. 'Okay fine, but you better pick up on the first ring.'
'Promise.'
'I'll stay to help with the bomb squad,' Emily said while also looking at you.
'No,' you said as Hotch, Derek and JJ left. 'You all should go. In case he somehow remotely sets it off himself.'
'We're not leaving,' Reid said firmly, making eye contact with you. 'Not until you're off that bomb, you hear me?'
You wanted to argue, trying to be selfless and strong. But the truth was you were terrified, and to hear Spencer's strength where you lacked helped you push your pride aside and nod in agreement.
Time had flown by and it was now the last ten minutes. Spencer had received phone call after phone call but nothing had been helpful. They'd tried two potential codes already but they didn't work. The bomb squad quickly realised that they only had three chances to get the code right and so they were down to the last chance.
'You guys should really leave,' you said amidst your chattering teeth. It was now just after midnight and your thin button up and the bulletproof vest were not cutting it anymore. Spencer wished he could give you a blanket, a jacket, his own shirt for God's sake if it would keep you warm slightly.
'That's not going to happen,' he answered without hesitation.
You yawned, eyes threatening to droop close. Your legs had gone numb long ago. You were unsure how you were holding yourself up. It certainly wasn't by adrenaline. Perhaps you were frozen in place.
'I mean it, Spence,' you said, bracing yourself as another shiver threatened to spasm your entire body. 'It's the last ten minutes. You should be clear in case it goes off.'
'I'm not going to do that.'
'Damnit, Spencer. Of all the times to be stubborn, you choose now?'
'I'm not being stubborn,' Spencer argued. Were you purposefully trying to tick him off now? 'I'm trying to save your life!'
'You're right, you're not being stubborn. You're being plain stupid,' you retorted. You weren't sure why you were suddenly so angry, you just didn't like him playing the hero when he didn't have to.
'Yes! I am stupid, I admit that. I'll announce that to the entire neighbourhood right now if you want me to! Because if it weren't for me being an idiot, you wouldn't have had those dates, you wouldn't have had a date tonight, and maybe you wouldn't be stuck standing on a bomb right now!'
You stared incredulously at Spencer. He blamed himself for your situation? For Riley?
Despite the bustling of people around them, everything grew silent as youO stared at one another, Spencer's chest heaving as he sucked in air hard.
'Spence,' you said softly, your anger suddenly dissipating. 'I don't blame you for any of this. I would've ended up on this bomb one way or another. Or even worse, it could've been you standing on it. And as for Riley...' You thought the tears would come up again like before, but your eyes remained dry, and your heart didn't pull harshly.
Not for Riley, anyways.
'Did something happen between you two?' Spencer tentatively asked. His tone bordered on concerned and hopeful, demonstrating his torn mindset to whatever you were about to say.
You nodded. 'I told him I had to go to work, which wasn't unusual, but he just flipped. Said he was sick of me choosing you guys over him and that he was finished.'
He hated himself for feeling the slightest bit happy at the news, but his best friend instincts kicked in, and all he wanted to do was reach out and hold you. 'I'm sorry. You could've said no. We would've understood-'
'Spencer, I will always choose you guys over anyone,' you interjected, and the complete seriousness on your face reflected your sincerity brighter than the full moon above. 'I will always choose you, Spence.'
It was then Spencer saw it: the same feeling he'd had swirling in his stomach for months reflected in your eyes. It scared him, but what scared him more was that it would all be gone soon if he didn't do anything about it.
He would be too late, just like Derek said.
The bomb squad lady and Emily walked up to them both, and Spencer did not like the grim expressions on their faces.
'I'm sorry,' the bomb squad lady said. 'It's the last five minutes. There's nothing else we can do but clear out of the blast zone.'
'What about the code?' Spencer pressed, but Emily shook her head.
'Reid, they've gotten nothing out of him. We've got to go.'
'But we can't just leave her here-'
'Trust me, Spencer, I don't want to either!' Emily cried, tears pricking at her eyes at the thought of you dying. 'But we can't do anything for her here. I've got the remote to input the code if they get another one, but until then, we've got to clear from the blast zone.'
'No.' Spencer shook his head vigourously. He couldn't accept this. He wouldn't accept this.
'Spencer,' you tried gently. 'It's okay. I can do the rest alone. I want you to be safe.'
'Well, too bad, because I'm staying.'
You squeezed your eyes shut as tears rushed down your cheeks. 'Damnit, Spencer. Please, just go. Don't make this harder than it already is.'
Spencer took a daring step towards you, the tops of his shoes dangling just over the edge of the pavement. 'I won't abandon you. Not again.'
You were most likely a blubbering mess, your heart hurting so much at the thought that he would get caught up in your mess. 'God, why don't you just leave-'
'Because I love you, (Y/n)!'
The four of you stood dumbfounded as his proclamation echoed through the yard, the house, the street back out the front. Hell, Spencer hoped the whole world heard what he said, because he felt free for the first time in months, weightless, powerful.
And it was all because of you.
'I love you,' he repeated again, softer this time. As the reality of the situation came crashing down on him, tears of his own sprouted in his eyes and ran down his cheeks. He'd finally built up the courage to tell you, and you were minutes away from being blown up.
Through your tears, you find it in yourself to chuckle a little. It's watery and gross-sounding, but Spencer likes it none the less because it's yours, and you haven't lost complete hope. 'Talk about great timing, you big idiot.' And then there it is, that bright smile he saw day one in the office. You wore it with such pride, such strength it pulled at Spencer's heart strings painfully. 'You truly are a wonder, Spencer Reid.'
'One minute,' the bomb squad lady said, her tone frantic now. 'We've got to move! Now!'
'Reid, come on!' Emily cried, backing up with the bomb squad.
'I won't abandon her,' he replied, never taking his eyes off you.
'Reid please!'
Before he could reply, though, his phone buzzed, and he immediately answered the call. 'Please tell me you go it.'
'HOME! The code word is HOME!'
'Punch in HOME!' Reid called out to Emily, keeping Derek on the line as he stared at you. If you were to die, he was gonna make damn sure the last thing you saw wasn't an unfamiliar face.
'Are you sure?'
'We're out of time! Do it!'
'Spence...' you muttered. But you never finished your sentence, as your breath got caught while watching Emily punch in the code into the device. You closed your eyes. Soon you would be in eternal darkness. You would not fear it, but embrace it.
But when nothing happened, you dared to sneak a peek at what was going on. You saw Spencer first, who looked at Emily, who looked at the device in her hands. The deathly silence was finally broken at the sound of a green light on the device switching on. You then heard a hundred tiny clicks somewhere underfoot and felt yourself being pushed up back onto level ground.
Spencer finally looked back to you, eyes blown wide with hope he dared not realise. That same hope fuelled your frozen, tired legs, to take the tiniest of steps forward, and when nothing happened, you took your other foot off the bomb and collapsed forward into Spencer's arms.
His heart pounded faster than the jet that flew them all over the country every week as he cradled you simultaneously gently and tightly. You sobbed into his chest, your arms circling around his back and pulling him as tight as possible.
Oh, how he had missed your touch, your affection, your love, you.
'It's okay, you're okay,' he soothed, patting your hair down with one hand while he cradled you with the other. 'I'm here. We're all here.' He realised suddenly he'd dropped his phone, and so with one hand, he reached down and picked it up, bringing it to his ear. 'She's off.'
He barely heard the cheers of excitement and relief on Derek's end before he was hanging up and helping you to your feet. After that, it was a whirlwind of the bomb squad excavating the bomb, paramedics arriving, and CSU investigating the house.
After giving his statement of events to the local police and finishing speaking to other officials, he found you wrapped in a trauma blanket in the open back of an ambulance.
'How are you feeling?' he said as he approached you.
You broke free of your own world to look at Spencer, and a soft smile managed its way onto your lips. 'Well, I can feel my legs again so that's a start. And you?'
'All the better now that you're not standing on a bomb.'
You chuckled, though a red tinge dusted your cheeks out of embarrassment. 'I must admit, it's true what they say about your life flashing before your eyes the moment before you die.'
'Really? What did you see?' Spencer had read articles about this kind of stuff before, but had never spoken with a person who'd experience it themselves.
You didn't answer straight away, instead standing up to face him fully. Your legs felt like jelly a little but you stood strong. 'I saw you,' you replied easily, as if breathing air. 'Only you.'
Spencer couldn't hold it back, his fear, his relief. It all came bubbling out in an ugly sob as he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, pressing his face into your hair, using your scent to calm himself. He felt you sobbing too, how your body shook with your own anxieties.
'I missed you,' you said, your words muffled into his chest.
'I know, I'm sorry,' he murmured. 'I missed you, too.' He pulled you back slightly so that he could see your face. He wiped at your tears and forced his best smile just for you. 'But I'm back now. And I'm not going anywhere. That is... if you want me around.'
You heard his silent question, and it made you smile how confident and shy he could be simultaneously.
'Spencer Reid,' you murmured, like what you were about to say next was your biggest secret, 'of course I want you around. I love you.'
He chuckled with relief, tears still pricking at his eyes. But your words sealed your fate, as he used his small amount of confidence to grab the back of your neck gently and pull your lips to his.
You were the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted, and dare he compare you the most addictive drug he could ever hope to get high on. He couldn't get enough of you, and it was such a relief to finally let it out how much he needed you to breathe.
You were equally breathless, simultaneously feeling all consumed by Spencer's love without also having enough of it. Your fingers danced in the soft curls at the nape of his neck, threading yourself into him as much as possible. The truth was, the past four months were torturous.
'I'm not going anywhere.'
As you both finally broke apart, you pressed your foreheads together, nervous giggles of teenagers bubbling up in you both. This was fresh and new, but the love you had for one another had been there all along. No one was going anywhere.
'Finally!'
You and Spencer looked up to see the rest of the team watching from afar, with Emily and JJ smiling giddily, Derek and Rossi trying to suppress laughter, and Hotch having the simplest of grins on his lips.
'Oh, babygirl is going to have a field day when she hears about this,' Derek said, walking up to clap Spencer on the back and give him a hug. 'Well done, man.'
'It's about time,' Rossi said as the rest of the team joined you both. 'I thought I was going to have to take matters into my own hands.'
'Thank God you didn't,' Emily said, both her and JJ giving you a hug. 'As much as this has been traumatic for all of us, I'm so glad it brought you back together.'
'Say that to my poor legs,' you whined, but you hugged them just as tight. Truthfully, you felt the same. And as Reid held you in his arms that night, having refused to let you out of his sight after your brush with death, you couldn't be more grateful for it, too.
~
Your wedding was the next major point in his life that your words had impact.
The past five years leading up to your engagement had been some of the best and challenging in your life. There'd been many more close calls on both your lives since then - kidnappings, hostage situations, deadly viruses, the works. Even some romantic challenges that came in the form of other men and women.
But your bond ran deeper than superficial, petty spiffs. You always found your way back to one another, no matter how dark the road got. It was even on such a dark case that saw both you and Spencer on death row that he asked you. You'd both been captured and locked in a shipping container filled with no gaps for air and no way out. Before that, you'd copped a beating from your capture, forcing Spencer to watch all the while. Truthfully, it hadn't looked good, and that's why Spencer did it.
'What?' you asked deliriously, barely able to see straight no thanks to the lack of oxygen.
'I was planning on asking you... after this case,' Spencer admitted, his face mere centimetres from yours as he held you in a tight hug. He was breathless, running out of air and time it seemed. He had to do it now. 'Had it all planned out... We would go to that place on the hill we go to... a picnic all set out... and just as the sun would set, I'd ask you... and give you this.'
You would've gasped if you'd had enough air to do so, in utter shock to see Spencer pull out a simple gold band with a diamond embedded in it from in his pant pocket.
'I've had this for months... waiting for the... right time,' he managed to get out. 'It's my mothers. When I told her I wanted to marry you... she didn't even hesitate to give it to me.'
You were both weak, but he softly picked your left hand up and looked you dead in the eye. 'This might be it for us, but it also might not. Either way, I want to be yours for whatever time we have left. So, (Y/n) (L/n)... will you marry me?'
The tears that trekked down your face actually cleared your vision enough to see Spencer's smile clearly as you answered, 'Yes. I will marry you.'
Either some higher being was looking out for you that day, or your team was just really good at their job (Spencer never doubted them for a moment), but the team found you both in time, both unconscious and barely breathing, but hand in hand, with yours suddenly bejewelled.
Since then it had been a flurry of work and wedding arrangements and stress over the next seven months. Many speculated you were pregnant and that's why you and Spencer rushed the wedding. The truth was you just didn't want to wait any longer than you had to, not being in your line of work. Any day could be your last, so why waste it.
Spencer messed with the tie of his navy blue suit for the hundredth time as he stood waiting under the arch of flowers in the backyard of Rossi's mansion for you. He wasn't nervous, just... ansty, like he had ants in his pants and wanted to get out of them as soon as possible. But he couldn't deny he was just as excited for this day as you were. All of your friends and family dressed up, no case, no killer, nothing but what dessert they were going to have at the reception to worry about.
'Hey pretty boy,' Derek said, coming up behind him and clapping a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. 'Stop messing with it. You look fine.'
'I know, I just...' Spencer couldn't put into words what he was feeling, not as he stared at his good friend - his best man. Even though Derek had left the BAU, Spencer and him still spoke regularly, and he was more than happy to be there for his best bud at arguably the most important day of his life.
Derek smiled knowingly, straightening Spencer's tie because that's what the best man did for the groom. 'She loves you, Spencer. You've got nothing to worry about.'
'I'm not worried. I just...' He felt the tears already coming on and he hadn't even seen you yet. You were probably even more gorgeous than you already were. God he couldn't wait to marry you.
'I get it, man,' Derek said, and then the piano started playing a soft, whimsical tune that was so you and he stepped back into place. 'Show time, pretty boy.'
Spencer straightened himself up, told himself to hold the tears back. This was not a sad day, but a joyous one. But his breath was stolen the moment the doors of Rossi's mansion opened, after Emily, JJ and Penelope walked through, and you walked out into the backyard on your father's arm.
Your gown was simple, accentuating your body like the goddess you were. Your (h/c) locks were styled to perfection, hidden barely by the thin veil that fell like morning mist over your face. You held your favourite flowers in your hands, the glint of your engagement ring shining as bright as the sun that shone upon the whole ceremony.
By the time you reached him, Spencer was about ready to rip your veil off, kiss the living daylights out of you and runaway. But he resisted, instead waiting patiently for your dad to flip your veil up, and for you to hand over your bouquet to JJ, your maid of honour. When you finally turned to face him, he could've cried. You were so beautiful. And we was marrying you today.
You reached out to him, and he was more than glad to clasp your hands at last.
'Hi,' you whispered, a nervous but excited smile twitching your lips.
'Hi,' he whispered back, the threat of tears burning the back of his eyes again. 'You are gorgeous.'
'Thanks. You look handsome.'
'It's a wonder what a whole eight hours sleep and showering more than once a week can do.'
He was so glad to hear your laugh. It calmed his nerves, and apparently yours calmed too, as your hands no longer shook in his.
'All right, everyone,' Rossi started, stepping up to minister the ceremony. 'Let's get this started.'
The boring, ceremonious stuff went by quickly and soon you were reciting your vows. You'd both wanted to write your own vows for each other - agreeing that the usual script was not enough to express your love for one another, and what you would do to protect that love.
Reid went first.
'(Y/n),' he began, staring you straight in your eyes. He'd written his speech over and over again, but once he found the right words, it only took him a matter of seconds to memorise them. Forever. 'I've always been told I was different. Gifted, special. Being different helped me get this job, this family-' he turned to his friends, who watched them with bright smiles and teary eyes. 'But it also got me in trouble, held me back from experiencing... normal things like friendship, even love. So much so, that I started to believe... I was unworthy of love.'
You squeezed his hands, hearing the stutter in his words, the built up emotion that threatened to consume him. He gratefully squeezed back, grateful to know he was not alone, that he would never be alone from this day forth.
'But from the day I met you, you've shown me that I can be myself and be worthy of love. Theoretically, we shouldn't work. Despite popular opinion, studies have shown that people from different backgrounds, with different interests and completely different personality traits are less likely to feel attracted to one another than people with similar backgrounds, interests and personalities.'
'Come on, Reid. You really want people to sleep through your wedding?' Derek asked, prompting you and the rest of the guests to burst into laughter.
'I have a point,' he countered, and waited for the laughter to die down before resuming his vows. 'And while I usually rely on statistics and facts to make informed decisions about my life, from the day that I met you, you turned my entire world upside, inside out... and I didn't care. Because despite knowing almost everything there is to know about, well, everything, you are the one thing that has and always will make sense to me.'
He saw you trying to hold back tears, so he let go of one of your hands to caress your cheek where some tears rolled down. He swiped them away gently with his thumb without ruining your makeup, the most handsome, beautiful smile you'd ever seen on his lips.
'I love you, (Y/n) (L/n). I have loved you since we first met, at every case, at every movie night, every time you made me coffee. I love how you find the light amidst the darkness, how you give yourself completely to everyone you meet. I love the crinkle in your forehead every time you get mad at me. I love all of you, and I don't have to promise you that I will stay by your side through it all for the rest of our lives. You have had me since day one, and that will never change, even in death. But before that final day comes, I look forward to making the most of what time we have left loving you.'
The guests clapped so loudly that he almost didn't hear your soft sobs. But he did, and he pulled you into a quick hug before you pulled yourself away.
'Oh my goodness, I just want to kiss you,' you admitted quietly to him, bringing laughter out of him. But you quickly pulled your self away, using your free hand to grab an A4-sized piece of paper from JJ and return to face Spencer.
'Unfortunately, I don't have an eidetic memory so I will be using some assistance for this next bit,' you joked, stopping your flow of tears briefly as everyone chuckled, appreciative for the break in overwhelming emotions. Spencer breathed in deeply, steadying his heartbeat as much as possible. His part was done, but he knew this next part would be the hardest to retain composure.
'Spencer,' you began, one hand shakily holding your vows, while the other gripped onto Spencer like your life depended on it. In a sense, after today, it would. 'From the moment I first met you, I knew you were special. That you would leave a mark on my life in one form or another. Some sad part of me sometimes thought it would be when you inevitably shot yourself because you couldn't pass your marksman test after three goes-' Cue Spencer looking to Hotch apologetically while the rest of the guests laughed. '-or because, in our line of work, any day could be our last, and I wouldn't rule out any psychopaths intervening with that. However, despite it all, you're still here, and I couldn't be more thankful that you are. You amaze me everyday, Spencer - with your knowledge of the world, your intellectual insight, how you are almost incapable of growing any substantial amount of facial hair.'
You were glad people were laughing now, because what you were about to say next was going to take all your composure not to fall apart.
'But it is your heart and your ability to connect with people that has captured me completely. Our story has been... unconventional, to put it plainly. We were colleagues first, then friends, then you became my best friend, and I thought I couldn't be happier than that. But maybe it has something to do with some chemicals in the brain that are stimulated when you hang around someone you admire and adore long enough - you know, science stuff - or fate. I don't necessarily believe in either, but I do believe in us, Spencer. I believe that we are two souls choosing to become one for the rest of our lives; I believe you are my person, and the one I choose to face each and everyday with; I believe we haven't overcome all that we have for nothing; and I am not the least bit surprised it took nearly getting blown up to admit how I truly feel about you.'
Spencer couldn't care that what you said about brain chemicals was technically incorrect, it was so you, and there was not a dry eye in the backyard as you looked up at him finally, sheet long forgotten, and (e/c) eyes shining bright with tears and love.
'I love you, Spencer Reid,' you said breathlessly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. 'You have experienced the worst of humanity over and over again, and yet here you stand with me, smiling, happy, choosing to believe in happy endings. You are a wonder - my wonder - and I can't wait to spend everyday from now loving you, and being wowed by you. From now... until I cannot breathe, and even then beyond.'
You gave the paper back to JJ, then returned your full attention to Spencer. It was like it was only you two, the clapping from your guests dulled as well as Rossi's final words. But Spencer didn't miss a beat when he heard him say, 'By the power vested in me and my online-approved minister credentials, I pronounce you husband and wife. Go on kids, you've earned it.'
Spencer swooped you into the sweetest, loving kiss he could muster, gently cradling your neck and cheeks as your lips met in a soft collision. It wasn't lustful (that would certainly come later), but it was consuming, like two forces being pulled together by a magnet. You were separate entities choosing to become one, and it made you smile through your kiss and for the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening.
You both partied with your family and friends, but you always managed to find your way back to one another despite the chaos. He now cradled you gently as you swayed together on the dance floor, fatigue settling in. You held each other up as you did, content to just be with each other in the final moments of your special day. Emily, your new section chief, had ordered you both take two weeks off to celebrate your honey moon. Because God knew when the next time you'd be able to relax would be when you both came back to work.
You shifted in his arms, manoeuvring yourself to look up at him, a delirious, tired and happy smile adorning your pretty lips. 'I love you, Spencer Reid.'
He leaned in for a brief but loving kiss before saying, 'I love you, (Y/n) Reid.'
Something about how his last named paired with your first name sounded that warmed him inside. The same feeling lit up in your eyes, but maybe that was just the happy tears that formed there, too.
'We're the Reids now,' you whispered in disbelief, probably due to the amount of alcohol you had consumed throughout the day. 'You're my husband!'
'Yes I am,' he murmured, pulling you back to his chest to lay your head. 'Forever and always.'
~
The last time he heard you say those special words was the day you said goodbye.
It wasn't until you fell pregnant with your first child that you found a proper house to live in. You'd been content with the studio apartment you'd found and moved into one year into your relationship, but when you fell pregnant, Spencer knew you would need a bigger space. One that you could call your own and make a home out of.
Your forever home.
Surprisingly, it hadn't taken long to find something: a nice rustic, two-storey house on the outskirts of DC. It was in a nice neighbourhood , far enough out of the city to be quiet, but close enough you could both get to work quick enough in case of an emergency. The moment you'd laid eyes on it, you fell in love with it, and Spencer knew without question this would be where you brought your family up.
He traipsed through the house with two cups of tea. Coffee had started to disagree with him after he quit the BAU, as if that were the only place he needed it. Teaching and guest lecturing at all the local universities was nowhere near the stress level of the BAU, and so he'd switched to tea. Somehow, in his (as he called it) pre-retirement, it tasted sweeter.
You had stepped down from being a profiler at the BAU after your third child was born, realising that with a four and two year old waiting outside the birth suite to meet their baby brother, you couldn't risk leaving your three babies without a mother. And while leaving the BAU, your home of close to twenty years, wrought a grief out of you that was close to unbearable, you knew it was the right decision and right time.
And you soon found a love for writing - fiction, non-fiction, poetry, it didn't matter. What you'd experienced in your career as a profiler had changed you, and sometimes writing it out made it less haunting, it gave you closure. You went on book tours, consulted on scholarly and literary journals, you even were brought into Spencer's classrooms to guest lecture from time to time.
All the while building and loving the family both of you had always dreamed of.
Spencer smiled at the dusty pictures that lined the walls, of the faces of his children and grandchildren smiling back him. Of the faces of friends old and new, of ghosts he used to know from a time long gone. Sometimes he hardly recognised himself in those pictures. He wasn't the vain type, but when he looked at himself in his 20's and 30's, he couldn't help the yearning that pulled at his heart when he did.
He compared those youthful pictures against his present day, laughing at the barely existent grey stubble he now sported, of the white hair that curled and stood up in any and all directions, of the glasses he now permanently had to wear. You always said he looked sexier with glasses, anyways, so he didn't mind.
Those pictures were his memory, his legacy, his life. When he felt his brain burning, when his memory became a bit too fuzzy, he could always look at the pictures and find solace in how those moments would live on in the people he loved.
'Spence?'
Your voice prompted him to keep moving, to let go of the past and remain in the present. He wandered through the rest of the house to the backyard, where two garden chairs sat either side of a coffee table, looking over the yard. The gardens were filled with flowers of all shapes and colours. He wasn't a nature guy by any means, but Spencer wanted you to have something to look after other than him or the children, something you could be proud of when you were much older. So he'd planted it himself (okay, he needed help from Derek), filling it with flowers that expressed all the wonderful qualities he loved about you.
There was a small gardening shed in the back, a quaint barbecue/entertainment area to one side, and a build-your-own playground just sitting on the lawn. He found you sitting comfortably in one of the chairs, staring out at the yard contently. He placed both cups of tea on the table before taking his own seat in the other chair.
'Do you remember how Jason used to carry Diana on his back up the slide?' you asked gently, a fond smile cracking your dry lips at the memory of your children playing on the very same playground their children now played on when they visited. 'You always got so scared they would fall and hurt themselves.'
'Isn't that our job?' he asked, taking a sip of his tea. 'To worry for our children?'
'You didn't have to be a helicopter parent, though,' you jibed playfully. 'You got better when Aaron was old enough to climb himself, so I can't berate you for that.'
'Speaking of which, Aaron just called, said him, Rachel and the kids want to invites us to dinner on Friday.'
You turned and smiled at him, but he saw how tired you were. It was in the slight droop in your lips when you smiled, it was in the slouch of your shoulders, it was the way you held out your hand for him to grasp and you could barely squeeze him back. You'd been like this for days, and it broke Spencer's heart to see the love of his life slowly fade away right beside him. He knew it was a natural way of life - considering their previous occupations, he was grateful to be even given the chance to grow old with you.
But despite natural law and despite his many blessings, it didn't dull the ache that grew more painful everyday.
'You don't have to be here, Spence,' you said, voice barely above a whisper, like it was just a secret only you two shared. 'You've seen enough death already.'
Spencer placed his cup on the table before getting out of his chair (a feat he struggled withe everyday now, his BAU days finally catching up to him) and walking around to your side, bringing both his hands to clasp yours as he knelt beside you.
'I'm not going anywhere,' he said, willing every ounce of sincerity and love into his words, into his hands as he held your frail ones. 'Forever and always, remember?'
Spencer almost broke down when your eyes locked with his, those shining (e/c) orbs sparkling with life and mischief and wonder. Despite what time had done to you, you were still his (Y/n), his best friend, his partner, his lover and saviour.
You nodded as if to say yes, I do remember. I always will. You pull one hand free of his grip, and use it to cradle his wrinkled cheeks. 'We've lived a good life, haven't we, Spence?'
He pulled one hand away to caress your hand on his cheek, holding it there for as long as he could. 'Yes. Yes we have.'
Your eyes scanned over him, suddenly seeing your life in rewind.
You saw him as he was now, white, Einstein hair, wrinkled skin and glasses. Then with only little streaks of white in his hair, more sleek. That's how he was with the kids. You kept going back, to your wedding, to your engagement, to the first time you kissed. Every movie night, every case, every late night in the office. Until you were seeing him as if for the first time. Kind of dorky, kind of sweet, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed to explain to you how his "physics magic" worked that very first day in the office.
It was like he was seeing you for the first time as well, as you smiled your bright smile like you did on that first day. The smile you had smiled for him every day since. The smile he saw in your children, and then your grandchildren.
'You are a true wonder, Spence,' you whispered softly, using what little strength you had left to squeeze the hand that still clasped yours as if to say thank you. 'My wonder.'
He waited for the lump in his throat to form, for the words to get stuck in his throat like they always did before. But the lump never formed, and so the words flowed like water out of him, finally feeling right.
'And you are mine,' he whispered back, smiling as bright as he could for you as he held you. 'You always have been my wonder.'
You bring his lips to yours one last time before dropping your hand from his face and sitting back in your seat, looking more tired than you'd ever been. But your other hand still held his, and he certainly wasn't going to let you go. Not yet.
'Spence,' you wheezed, eyes struggling to stay open on him.
Spencer pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, using his now free hand to stroke your grey hair in soothing motions. 'It's okay. You can rest now. I'll join you soon enough.'
The slight dip of your chin let him know you understood, and soon after you closed your eyes, your hand grew slack in his hold and your chest ceased rising.
You were gone.
And he was still here.
It was only then did Spencer allow the tears to fall, to acknowledge that despite both of your acceptances, he was sad. You'd lived good, long lives, and even then Spencer believed it was not enough time to love all of you. He knew it was selfish, but he figured after all he'd been through he would be allowed this one wish.
He held you for another hour before he called your children to notify them of your passing.
He held on for another year before he joined you. Cause of death: a broken heart.
He was buried beside you in the family lot, and on your joint headstone, it wrote:
Here lies Dr. Spencer Reid and Mrs. (Y/n) Reid. Loving Husband and Wife and Parents. "You truly are a wonder."
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eilaafterhours · 5 months
Text
Take a Picture [Grim | Casper]
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Content: AFAB Reader, Lingerie, Men in Lingerie, Banter, Nude Photos, Dom/Sub Undertones, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Smut, Reader-Insert
Pronouns: None (AFAB)
Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!
Remember:I’ll block you if I catch your ageless or under age (not 18+) ass in my activity :)
This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.
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You and Casper had a very active sexual life. Once he was here, and once you had your hands on him, well—Simply put, the two of you got your fill of each other, and yet it was never enough. 
This, however, was new to the two of you, and you're very interesting on learning just how this thought got into Casper's head.
You ran your fingers over the mesh fabric, then paused as they caught onto some loose ribbon. A smile slowly crept across your face. 
"Prefect..." A wonderful plan had devised itself, and you were absolutely ready to enact it. 
All you had to do was hold out and wait your turn.
Which proved to be harder than you imagined. 
After you had put the outfit on and did a little bit of dolling up, you exited the bathroom. Of course, you knew that he'd also be dressed up—that was the whole point of this. 
The outfit was simple—so very simple. It was a black halter dress with an open back and very high slit on both sides, the thin straps of a black thong peaked through the slits, and you added a black leather garter belt for one of his thighs. 
But gods, you always seemed to forget just how beautiful Casper really was. 
The black contrasted his pale skin, making his skin glow (and glitter? Did he use your shimmer mist?). Especially at his thighs and curves of his hips, both the thong and garter belt, hugging the flesh nicely.
You bite your lip. How could you last with this in front of you? You wanted to take him right now. Ruin him just like you know he wants, and then take your pictures. Actually, maybe you could—
"Sunshine?" He called, snapping you out of your deprived thoughts. "Are you already thinking of throwing in the towel?" One of his fingers found the waistband of the thong, pulling on it, then letting it snap sinfully against his skin. "I know you're trying really hard."
You narrowed your eyes at that.
Big talk meant big action in this household. And now the two of you had reached the climax: seeing just who would break first. 
And you'd be damned if it were you.
You smiled, making your way to him. "I'm fine, but—" Your hand ran through his hair, exposing his red ears. "You'll never be able to hide from me."
And then you were gone, pulled away from him and sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'll even let you go first—put me how you want me, Casper." 
He took a deep breath as he picked up the camera. 
"On your knees, lean back on your hands, stick your chest out." His order was succinct, and his tone left no room for any more banter. You did what you were told, adjusting yourself as he commanded. 
Click! "Ass up." 
Click!
Then he hesitated, his eyes flicking away from you. "...Lean up against the headboard, spread your legs and..."
You knew where he was going, but you wanted to hear him say it. So you waited, playing with a stray loose thread. 
"And spread your cunt."
A spread through your body. You were expecting pussy—not cunt. And the way his voice deepened had your cunt clenching.
You adjusted yourself a bit, finding a more comfortable position. Then your fingers glided down to your pussy and—
"You act unbothered, and yet your pussy drools for my cock."
You squeezed your eyes shut, legs slamming shut. 
You heard him chuckle. "That won't do." He moved closer, leaning down next to your ear. "Open or I'll get something to keep them open."
His warm breath sent a shiver down your spine that had you close off more, but when his hand tapped your thigh, you did as you were told, finally spreading yourself like he wanted. 
"Eyes on me." Your watery gaze met his unwavering one.  
Click!
You breathed a sigh of relief, removing your hand and letting your legs fall shut. 
That was...a lot more than you were expecting. 
Being the good partner he was, Casper was at your side. "You did so good for me."
"I know." You nuzzled into him. "I just forgot how intense you can get..."
He pressed a kiss against your cheek. "Interesting that you say forgot instead of admitting that you enjoyed it."
"I mean, I did, but…" There was not "but". You liked it, and he knew it, and know that he knew for certain. 
You'd be in a lot more trouble down the line. Oh well, that'll be then and this is now. 
And now, it was your turn. 
You started off easy. Your first picture of him matched your own first picture.
Click!
For the second, you had him move to the end of the bed, and pull the skirt of the dress to the side. Which exposed his very prominent erection and small wet spot.
You smirked. "You look ready to bust—you're already leaking! Do you think you'll be able to hold off until you get inside me?" 
He huffed. "...of course." So the answer was maybe. 
Well, it was no, but he didn't need to know that. 
"I mean, I did, but..." There was not "but". You liked it, and he knew it, and know that he knew for certain. 
You'd be in a lot more trouble down the line. Oh well, that'll be then and this is now. 
And now, it was your turn. 
You started off easy. Your first picture of him matched your own first picture. 
Click!
"Pull the thong to the side."
He raised a brow. "That's it?"
You nodded. 
"I don't trust you." But did it regardless, hissing as the fabric brushed over the head of his cock. 
Click!
He blinked, obviously caught off guard by the sudden flash. 
"I wasn't ready!" He frowned. 
You smiled at him, moving closer. "Yes, but your face was so pretty. I couldn't help it." You dropped in front of him, "How about one extra picture?" You held out the camera to him.
"...you are insatiable." And yet he still took the device from your hand.
"You're one to talk." You flattened your tongue and licking from the base to the head. "Make sure to get a good shot. You've only got one." 
You were going to play with him, maybe edge him a bit, but he was reached his release quicker than either of you expected.
You at least had some sort of warning, though. 
"Wait fuck—!"
You squeezed your eyes shut as hot ropes of cum splattered across your face. You took a moment to catch your breath, ready to stand up and clean your face, but—
"Open your mouth. Wide." You weren't expecting him to speak, just take the picture and be done with it. But then something hot and heavy was placed on your tongue, and you knew why.
Click!
You gave him one last good suck before pulling off him with a pop. 
"Seven Hells...you will be the death of me."
"My head game's so strong it'll kill you? Damn." You tapped his thigh. "Now, help me to the bathroom, please."
And that was supposed to be the end of it, but of course it wasn't because it was never enough. Somehow, after helping you clean your face, he placed you on the counter, shoving the camera (of course he brought it in here) into your hands bullying himself between your legs, and returned the favor tenfold. 
He made you squirt. Your juices sprayed him, his clothes, the counter and ran down the cabinets. And then he lifted his head up, giving you a full view of his soaked face. 
Click!
This one was your favorite.
"Fuck me..." You swallowed harshly, placing your hands on your shaking thighs. 
"Should I be worried? Was I that good?" He said it casually, cleaning his face, as if he didn't give some of his best head on record. 
You narrowed your eyes at him. "Fuck you."
"Actually," Casper pulled off the counter, easily sliding you on his waiting cock. "I'd rather fuck you."
You whined, head hiding in his neck. "S-sensitive..." But that didn't stop you from rolling your hips. "You owe me a picture."
"Of course, of course." You knew that tone, he was plotting. 
Oh well, it wasn't like you also weren't doing the same thing. If he wanted more pictures, he could have him.
But you'd also get what was yours.
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100% if anything else needs to be tagged, let me know because I've just been released from the haze of this work.
Anyway, I saw these
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and they made me lose my fucking mind and I had to stop writing another piece to write this one.
AND THEN I GOT POSSESSED BECAUSE UMMMMMM WHAT IS THIS
DON'T ASK ME, I DON'T KNOW.
Ko-Fi | Masterlist
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pirates-apologist · 3 months
Text
Ace!Husk/ace!Angel hazbin hotel ramblings
When i first heard that there was a canon asexual character in hazbin i didnt know who it was but two characters automatically came to mind and im BEGGING yall to hear me out about this; husk or angel (or both!!).
I have since learned that its actually alastor but i keep my headcanon/s that either one or both of them is ace too nonetheless.
For your consideration:
For ace Husk:
-Husk is one of the only characters to not express any sexual interest in the episodes we have so far, considering the track record of hazbin/helluva boss thats pretty uncommon
-he literally has ACES on his design
-the whole scene where angel tries to get in his pants and husk says that is never gonna work on him and to cut the act
-how interesting it would be to give angel -a character who had to perform sexually his whole life in order to survive and be validated and appreciated- an asexual partner who doesnt want or expect this from him at all and just loves him for who he is (obviously this could be done without adding asexuality into the mix but i do think it would be a very interesting layer to their relationship)
For ace Angel (HEAR ME OUT):
-his own over-sexualisation and flirty inappropriate persona is stated multiple times to be just an act in order to survive
-ive known quite a couple ace people who have tried to act overly sexual in order to feel like they fit in, similarly to comphet, and angel pushes it for sure
-could lead to a very interesting arc and realizing he doesnt have to perform sexual acts at all if he doesnt want to and husk will still love him and wont expect that of him and that those around him love the real anthony not just the performer angel dust(once again could be done without asexuality involved but its an added layer)
-hes never really seen enjoying a sexual connection in a way that seems genuine and not just him trying to lean into the pornstar persona or get validation
-i think it would be nice to show an ace character that doesnt fit the two archetypes we so often see with ace characters of either the prudish, shy, introverted virgin or the inhuman character with no feelings. Asexuals can be extravagant and social people who wear fun sexy outfits and have had sex too and its damn time we show theres no one way to be asexual
-could lead into more of him realizing and affirming the fact that he has worth and talents outside of porn or sex (already seen a bit in the gangster bar fight scene where he tells husk that he has talents outside of sex too)
Anyway, do i think vivziepop will actually make this canon? No. Do i think it would lead to very interesting character development and relationships? Absolutely. Did i write this at 4 am, didnt proofread at all and just wanted to ramt about my thoughts? Oh yeah.
All of this being said; ill be happy if they dont end up asexual at all its just fun to think about. I would love to hear yall's thoughts about this though
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ashwhowrites · 2 years
Note
If you are still taking requests, could I please request 9 from the fluff prompts “. . . sorry, I talked too much” “No no no not at all. Keep talking” with Eddie. Maybe he's rambling on about one of his passions and he is so used to people shutting him down but the reader is absolutely enamored?
Your writing fills me with pure delight and I keep trying to sneak reading it at work.💙
I am for sure still taking requests! And flattery works well on me so you will definitely get your request written with a sweet message like that!! I am so happy to hear you like to read my work and it fills you with delight. I will make sure to make this extra fluffly for you.
“… sorry, I talked too much” “No no no not at all. Keep talking”
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Eddie was heading to his deal after school, walking and sitting at his usual bench. He rolled his eyes as Jason sat in front of him. "Let's make this fast." Eddie huffed out, opening his lunch box. Eddie was measuring out the weed when Jason spoke up, "So what exactly is a hellfire club?" Eddie looked up, silently puzzled. Why was he asking him about hellfire? Jason never cared. All he wanted was to make his life hell. Eddie glared as he answered with a stiff tone. "We don’t need to do small talk. This is about $30." Eddie handed over the bag filled with weed. He was thrown off by Jason's expression. He almost looked genuine. Eddie always had a soft heart, thanks to Wayne. "It's a DnD club; my friends and I play. It's a fantasy game. We form an adventuring party and explore fantasy worlds together as we embark on epic quests and level up in experience. We each have our own personalities. I'm-" But he was cut off when Jason laughed; the genuine expression was gone. "Wow, those theater classes are paying off. You truly thought I gave a shit about your freak club. " He scoffed and threw the money on the table. And with that, he walked off back to the school grounds. Eddie's shoulders slumped. He knew that not many people understood DnD and thought it was dumb. But that was one of the places he felt himself. Those kids looked up to him, and it made him feel good. He's so used to people looking down on him. It was something he knew so much about he could talk about it for hours, but no one ever wanted to listen. With a slightly worse mood than he showed up with, he went to his van to head home. ~~~~~~~ The next time Eddie got passionate about talking about a topic was with Steve. Eddie was in the middle of a rant about how horror films were truly works of art. Steve believed romance was the top tier. "Listen man, chicks dig horror films. It gets them horny or some shit." Eddie's main point was that he believed nothing got a girl fired up faster than a horror film. Eddie was not one to give up during an argument, so he started stating his facts. He goes into full detail to back up his theory. He was feeling proud of how much information he was able to bring up, but once again that feeling in his gut returned when Steve spoke up, "Okay, I got it, damn you didn't have to keep talking for so long." and he went to help a customer. Eddie felt embarrassed. He knew he got too into his conversations and would go over the top. But the feeling of someone telling you they aren't interested in talking with you or listening to you always hurts. ~~~~~~~ Eddie tried not to talk too much about things. That feeling that had turned his mood sour was something he didn't want to experience again. But once again, he couldn't stop himself in class when the topic of music was brought up. He proudly stated how he played guitar and was in a band. He was working in a group, and they had to create a song with chords. Eddie decided to take the role of the group, as his sweetheart had taught him well. The group had to share their work with the class. Eddie was passionately stating how his mind came up with certain parts of the song. He felt confident and, for the first time, smart about how well he understood the material. But then that feeling was running down his throat and landing in his stomach when a voice spoke up. 
"Yo freak, I don't care about how you made the song. Quit talking, we have other stuff to do." Defeated Eddie headed to his seat in the back of the class, with his curly head down.
~~~~~~
Eddie was forcing books into his dirty locker that really needed to be cleaned out when a soft and gentle voice came from next to him. "Excuse me?" Eddie looked over and saw the most gorgeous person he had ever seen. Their eyes were big and sparkled. Their hair was styled to perfection. And a big smile was stretched across their faces. Eddie felt his heart literally skip a few beats. He then realized he had not answered. "Oh yes, Hi." He fumbled out with a shy smile. They laughed, and the smile got even bigger.
"I'm new and was wondering if you could help me out." Eddie's ears were attentively listening to them. It was like their voice were his new favorite sounds.
Eddie nodded quickly and put out his hand. "I'm Eddie." "I'm Y/N" They shook his hand with a soft grip. His stomach did flips at the contact. Eddie spent the rest of the day showing Y/N around, helping them get to classes, showing them the nearest bathrooms, and even asking Y/N to join his lunch table, to which they happily agreed. Eddie and Y/N were getting closer as the days passed. They shared many classes, sat at lunch together, and Eddie lied and said he studied at the library on Fridays, just to have Y/N alone at least once a week. And tonight, Eddie was finally going to ask Y/N out. He had no idea if they were even interested, but he had to take the chance. "So Y/N, any plans for this evening?" Eddie asked as Y/N hopped into his van. Y/N quickly answered with a no. Eddie felt relieved at the fact that they didn't have plans. "Would you maybe want to go out tonight? To like, dinner or something? on a date? " Y/N was caught off guard by the question. There was definitely a crush growing on the metalhead they spent all their time with. They felt a blush heat their cheeks and a smile form. "I'd love to." they answered, and they had never seen Eddie smile bigger than today. Eddie decided on a diner. Granted, he couldn't afford an expensive place, but he hoped a diner would be a good choice. "Don't worry Eddie, I've loved diners ever since I was young. This is a great choice. " Eddie felt himself smile at that and was pleased that this date was going in a good direction.
As the date went on, the conversations flowed effortlessly. His cheeks hurt from how much he was smiling and laughing. He could feel the crush growing more and more. He tried to steer the direction of things he knew he'd go over the top with. He really liked Y/N and did not want to annoy them with his constant ramblings. The date ended and he brought them home. He sealed the date with a kiss and a new hope in his chest. He felt like he was on cloud nine the whole way home. Smiling to himself and fist bumping, he was proud that he didn't get carried away in conversation. Maybe he was getting better at keeping himself composed. ~~~~ Y/N loved spending time with Eddie in the last few weeks. He was sweet, caring, and hilarious. But something kept nagging in their minds. It felt like he was walking on eggshells when they spoke. Y/N wasn't sure if they were intimating or boring. But Eddie is honest. He'd say something, wouldn't he? Y/N and Eddie were cuddling on his couch, in his small and cozy trailer. Y/N's hand was delicately rubbing Eddie's chest over his hellfire shirt. "So what is hellfire?" They asked softly. Eddie went stiff. His mind went back to Jason, and that sickening feeling arose in his stomach. He tried to stay clear of hellfire and DnD conversation because he knew he couldn't stay quiet about it. "Just a club." He mumbled with a shrug. "What's the club about?" Y/N asked as they looked up at him. They could see the anxiety in Eddie's eyes. They just didn't understand why he was so distant and scared. "Its DnD." His answers were short and quick. They weren't giving up on him. "What's DnD? I'm not sure I've heard about it.” Eddie made eye contact and he could see the curiosity in their eyes. Y/N was different from Jason. Eddie shouldn't treat them so badly. He sighed and began to describe the events of DnD.
Eddie was lost in his rant when he looked at the clock. His eyes went huge when he realized he had been talking Y/N's ear off for 20 minutes straight of just DnD. He quickly shut his mouth, mid-explanation. He reasoned that since Y/N had already zoned out, they wouldn't even notice his thought was incomplete.
But to his surprise, Y/N looked up at him, confused, "Why did you stop? Did Dustin defeat Vecna? " Eddie was lost for words. Not only were they listening the whole time, but they were asking him to continue. "Oh, I'm sorry. I talked too much, so I didn't want to bore you. " His words made their heart hurt. How could he think that they didn't want to listen to him? He never talks too much. This was the most they had gotten to hear him speak in weeks. They smiled encouragingly, "No, not at all. Keep talking. I need to know how it ends. I love how passionate you sound. " Eddie swears he fell in love right there. His chest felt like it was going to explode. He felt accepted and understood. For once, someone wanted to listen to him. Someone cared. And he vowed not to mess this up.
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broshot · 1 year
Note
can u please write armin being a dilf 😭🤭
a/n: thank you for the req!! I didn't quite know what to do w this one but I hope you enjoy it anyway♡ english isn't my first language btw so sorry for bad writing
cw/tw: fluff, mentions of nsfw, afab!reader, cursing, you and armin have a child, jealousy (so slight angst?) + comfort (reassuring), pet names, kissing check end for more notes
summary: you get jealous/mad because armin is being "too friendly" w the moms at your child's kindergarten so you give armin the cold shoulder and stop giving him attention! (but armin is not bad at reassuring)
♡♡♡
he was the hot topic among the mothers at the kindergarten your kid went to.
you couldn't help but overhear the mothers as they called your man hot, how could you not hear? "he's so sexy!" "such a shame he's taken.." "what a man!" they'd whisper knowing damn well you could hear them.
and his friendly and nice personality didn't help the feeling of jealousy that was pooling up in your stomach either. he'd answer their stupid questions and help them in things they'd ask help for. they asked him to help them with things that a five year old kid can do.
you never told him about how you felt about these things but one day it just got too much. one of the mothers who was clearly interested in him asked him to zip the zipper of her dress back up - it had slid a bit too low when she had picked up her child earlier. and on top of that, she had the audacity to slide her hand along his chest, tugging at his tie and whispering "thank you" into his ear when armin helped her.
armin had obviously helped her, not thinking much of it. why would he, he knew he loved you and only you, and according to him the mom's just were friendly and needed help sometimes.
so he didn't quite understand why you were giving him the cold shoulder. you didn't even cuddle up in his arms after a long day at work like you usually would. hell, you didn't even look at him.
he tried to remember what he did wrong but he just couldn't get a hold of it. so he decided to ask you.
♡♡♡
he knocked on your workroom's door, waiting for you to say if he can come in or not.
you thought it was your child on the other side of the door (since your child was too short to reach the handle) so you got up from your chair and opened the door. you were met with the worried eyes of your husband instead of your child.
you tried closing the door but he was faster and placed his foot in the way.
"love, I just want to talk. is that okay?" he asked.
you hesitated a bit before nodding quickly and opening the door wider and letting him in.
he was quiet for a moment before speaking up. "so, what's up with you? you've been ignoring me for a few days now and I just can't place my finger on it."
you scoffed at him. "you can't place your finger on it? you easily placed your fingers on her, though."
he was confused. "what are you talking about?"
"you haven't noticed how hungrily they look at you? the mother's at kindergarten."
he raised his eyebrow slightly. "I don't know what you're talking about. they're just being friendly and so am I."
"just being friendly? are you serious? they want to fuck you, armin."
he was taken aback by your statement but before he could reply, you continued: "they keep whispering about it knowing damn well I hear them, too. and you let them ask you all those stupid questions and help them with those things they could do themselves!
kenny's mother asked you to zip up her dress two days ago, remember? wasn't zaylin's mother right next to her? she could've helped her but no, kenny's mom decided to ask you instead! you saw how small that dress was, she was obviously trying to seduce you." you kept rambling. he was listening.
"I saw how she tugged at your tie, armin, she would've ripped her clothes off right there and then if there were no people around. do you even love me anymore?"
he gasped at your last statement, looking a bit offended. "of course I love you!"
he didn't say anything for a while after that. he was collecting his thoughts, finally putting the pieces together and understanding why you were mad.
"I'm sorry," he started. "I didn't understand she meant that and now that I think about it, zaylin's mother could've definitely helped her instead of me. I'm glad there were people around, I don't want to see her naked, absolutely not. you're so much more hotter." he said and you tried to find the humor in his eyes. from anyone else, words like that would've seemed like a joke but he would've never joked about that so you believed him.
"I love you more than anything. I'm really glad you told me about how you feel, I swear I'll do better. I won't talk to the mother's anymore unless it's something super important like a child in danger. and I definitely don't want to fuck any of the mom's."
you smiled at the last sentence but wiped your smile away before he could see. you've already forgiven him, but you definitely haven't forgiven the mothers.
"and you're sure about that?" you asked him once more.
"I'm 100% positive about it. I only love you and I only want you." he reassured. and to be honest, he was feeling a bit bold at the moment so he took a step towards you and leaned down to whisper something in your ear.
"I've been inside you plenty of times you know, and nothing could ever beat the feeling. nothing and no one." he smirked.
♡♡♡
I hope you enjoyed♡ (if you want me to write dilf!armin some other way let me know! (example: headcanons pls keep recommending stuff for me to write
kinda thinking about making a part 2 to this where they do the dirty in a bathroom at the kindergarden parents meeting tbh, I wanna teach the moms a lesson (they wouldn't get caught but they'd definitely know what happened when they see your messy hair and all the lipstick marks on his neck!
MASTERLIST
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Text
Called You Again - Mick Schumacher
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<word count - 1885>
You were bored. You were bored, and had a whole lot of thoughts trampling through your mind like a stampede. You hadn't heard from Mick in a while, and he hadn't heard from you either. Well, that was probably expected from two people who had recently broken up.
It was mutual, and it was civil, but that never stopped you from missing him. You had been staring at your phone for the past half an hour, as if willing it to buzz with the powers of your mind. But, even then, the capabilities of discarded love couldn't force someone to call you. 
You sighed, frustrated with yourself as you scrambled to pick the phone up before you found some sense within you and stopped. Ironically, or not so much, Mick's phone number was the first one at the top of your contacts. 
After a few rings, the line went quiet, before you heard a, "Hey, Y/N," in the softest voice you had ever had the pleasure of getting used to. "Hey, Mick. How've you been?" you asked, pressing the phone to your ear. You didn't know why you kept on thinking you could be friends after what you were, but there was always that little part of your brain that longed to hear his voice. 
"Not bad thanks, you?" he asked, not wanting to admit that the nature of your call seemed slightly suspicious. Sure, you had settled it on good terms, but he didn't know if that constituted calling the other person. "Yeah, I've been good," you said, and silence settled over the pair of you.
"So, is there a reason you've called or...?" Mick broke the quiet. He didn't want his question to come across as rude, or like he didn't want to talk to you, he was simply curious. "I was just thinking how we don't really talk anymore, and I thought it'd be nice to catch up," you explained, more as if you were convincing yourself that that was the reason. 
"OK, yeah, I guess you're right," Mick agreed, finding your excu- reasoning to be normal, and he had been thinking about it too. "So, what's new with you?" He asked, continuing the conversation. Your heart was telling you to say you missed him, but your head said no way. 
You never really loved him that bad anyway, you were just lonely and the sound of his voice, asking how you'd been doing made it feel like someone cared again. He did a one point, but not anymore. You both knew that. "Nothing much, life just carries on, I suppose," you said, mentally scolding yourself when you realised how depressing you must've sounded.
"But works been going pretty great, so that's always good," you said, hoping to lighten the mood somewhat. "That's great to hear, did you get the promotion you wanted?" he asked, and if he wasn't genuinely interested, he was doing a damn good job at acting like he was.
"Yeah, I did," you nodded, surprised he had still remembered. It was something you had mentioned briefly a few days before you decided to call it quits, so it wasn't something you had made a huge deal out of.  "Woah, well done! I knew you'd get it," he gushed, and for a moment, you were back when you had just scored your dream job, and he had said nearly the exact same thing.
But things were different now. 
"I was so nervous, because I thought I wouldn't, but then I did," you rambled, as if he were right there in the room with you. "There was never any doubt in my mind that you would," he reassured, and you could hear the smile that was dancing on his lips. "I put a lot of work into it, so I'm glad it paid off," you lightly chuckled.
"How about you?" you asked. The most you knew was that he was still testing for Mercedes, and he was still a reserve driver for if Lewis or George couldn't race. "I've been doing a lot of simulator work recently, so a lot of late nights, but it's worth it. I've been loving every minute of it," he explained.
The passion in his voice whenever he talked about anything remotely related to cars never failed to make your heart sing, and you admired his love for racing. It truly was his life, but that wasn't something you got to share anymore.
"Good good, I'm glad you're enjoying it," you replied, nodding while pressing the phone evermore closer to your ear, as if it would bring Mick closer to you. Silence fell over the line, but neither of you put the phone down. 
Neither of you said anything for a short while, either. The silence was slightly awkward, since neither of you really knew what to say. But still, you never put the phone down. You never knew when you were done talking with him, so you didn't want to be the one to end it. 
And you never really were the one who wanted to end it. 
As you sat in the silence, you asked yourself why you were always calling him again. You didn't love him anymore, that was what you told yourself, but then why did you feel compelled to hear his voice, his laugh? You were just being friendly, simple as that. There was nothing more to it. Absolutely nothing more. 
You talked for a little while more, but then Mick had to go. This time, you were left in silence without the chance that you'd get to hear his voice break through it. There were so many other people you could have called while you were away, but you didn't. It just wasn't the same as the homely comfort that talking to Mick offered, and there was no way to get around that. 
But, that didn't mean you loved him anymore. Not in the slightest. You were just lonely and missing your friends since you were always away at races. Yes, this job was your dream, but that didn't mean you didn't feel isolated every now and then.
Mick was always in the same time zone, and you already knew his schedule, so you knew when he was free and when it was a good time to call. It was simply convenient. There it was, that was the reason you called Mick. It was convenient. Your brain was happy with that conclusion, but your heart was overly skeptical. It always was when it came to your feelings for Mick, but you weren't listening to it today. 
--
You hadn't spoken to Mick in... A while. Well, it was long enough for you to realise that you hadn't heard his voice in a while. You knew you could have easily called him and ended the torment that felt self-inflicted.
It was almost like quitting smoking. If you never went back to cigarettes, then you'd never crave them again. On the outside, it looks easy, but try to do it, and you'll almost definitely fail to quit completely, caving back into the temptation.
It was also like you were in denial. If you never accepted that you actually wanted to call him, then you'd never actually want to call him. That was how that worked, right? 
You had so many excuses to not call him, the main one being the fact that you had convinced yourself into believing that he had loved you the most. He loved you more than you had loved him, and calling him was only hurting him more. 
Not even all of the conviction in the world could convince that one tiny, little, Mick-reserved section of your heart that that was true. It would never be enough to make that one bit of your brain that kept that tiny, little section beating let him go. It would grasp on with all of its might and power for as long as it had the strength to, and it wasn't showing any signs of giving up now. 
Whenever you so much as looked at your phone, your brain screamed at you to get a grip and call the guy, but it would never actually let you. Your limbs would freeze in place, fingers hovering over the call button until the screen faded to black and you'd say it was 'a sign'.
It was probably better off this way, anyway. He'd be better off by himself, and maybe he could find someone new without the ghost of you haunting him whenever you called. He'd be better off without you clinging to him. 
Another night went by, the same thoughts running through your brain, not letting you fall asleep. It was like you were plagued by the thoughts of him. But then, the sharp rings of your phone interrupted the peace. 
It was probably just someone from work, nothing special. You picked the phone up, and nearly dropped it when you saw his face filling up the screen. That dazzling smile with those bright blue eyes was a sight for sore eyes.
You were so shocked, yet elated at the same time, that you just stared at his picture until the room fell quiet again. You scrambled to call him back, excited to hear the sweet, soothing tones of his voice. "Hey, sorry, my phone was on the other side of the room," you lied, as if you needed a reason to have missed his call. 
"Hey, Y/N, don't worry about it. How are you?" He asked, and you fell back into the vicious cycle all over again. One of you would be the one to call for a little while, then they'd stop, then the other would call, and then stop. But it happened over and over again. 
It always carried on, and one of you always poked the sleeping bear. You always wondered why you called him again, or why you picked up his late night phone calls. That childish, giggly feeling of butterflies that lingered in your stomach after you'd talked to him wasn't love.
The yearn you had to talk to him and see him wasn't love. The need you had for him and the respect you held wasn't love. It had been, but it wasn't anymore. Love wasn't supposed to hurt like this did.
--
Now you don't really talk anymore. 
You were in one of those slumps, and it was technically your turn to call him, if that was how that worked. But it made sense, all you did was hurt him. All you did was cause him pain. All of that because you would always call him back, no matter what you told yourself. 
You hurt yourself so that you wouldn't hurt him anymore, and that was OK. He was worth it, even if your efforts would always go unvalued and unnoticed. One day, it wouldn't hurt so badly. One day, you'd have someone else to call, and you wouldn't feel at a loose end. 
 You didn't like hurting him, that was never your intention. But it took some of the pain away. It was like nurofen - it took the ache away for a short while, it left you numb. Yes, the ache always came back, but it was those moments of freedom that were your escape. 
Your moments of freedom caused him pain, because you called him again. 
A/N - OK, so we're just over a fifth through this already, so go me! Can't believe I am being so dedicated. And I am still writing all part 2s and requests, so don't worry if you're still waiting on something. It's coming, I promise. If any of you have anymore requests, then feel free to submit them!
|masterlist|five seconds flat|
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lady-harrowhark · 1 year
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Hello! I saw you mention that Pyrrha remembers pre-resurrection, and I totally missed that!! Do you have any theories as to why?
I have a few thoughts!
Just for context - because I didn't catch that on my first read either until I started going back through! - there are a few instances that seem to suggest Pyrrha remembers at least some of her life pre-Resurrection. Off the top of my head, I know there's one point where she refers to G1deon as G--, just like John does. Nona also says that Pyrrha calls her "Hairy Maclary", which is referring to a series of children's books by a New Zealand author. Here's a link to a picture and some info about Hairy Maclary... I can definitely understand why Pyrrha would call Nona that lol. This one's super interesting to me in that it's such a fantastic example of the way Tamsyn uses memes and references so skillfully! In the previous books, most of the references are fairly organic in that they're things that could conceivably be, you know, just things the characters say; the readers catch it (if they also know the reference! otherwise they're fairly unobtrusive) but the characters themselves aren't intentionally making a reference. This would be the things like "You can't just ask someone why they want to be a Lyctor" and "a hunger that only thumbs could satisfy," etc. The exception, though, is John. The "none Houses with left grief" particularly is SO fun from an exposition perspective (but if I start on that one I'll never stop), and then of course we have Commander Wake Me Up Inside. The implication here being that John remembers these specific things and is intentionally making those references within the context of the story. Pulling that same expository trick with Pyrrha sets them up as both remembering... at least to some degree. The hints that we get from Pyrrha are such that it's pretty unclear to what extent she remembers, leaving a lot of room for juicy speculation :)
I initially touched on it over on this post where I rambled about names, memory, and the Eightfold Word, but I'm copying over the Pyrrha-specific paragraph so that you don't have to dig for it:
When assisting with Harrow’s lobotomy, Ianthe tells her, “If you push your brain too hard, any surgery could simply heal over.” And in NtN, Pyrrha tells Palamedes, “You should be draining and replacing her fucking brain fluid... When Gideon and I designed that trial, I used to crack his skull and sieve it myself, just as a control variable... The only other people I put through that damn trial were Mercy and Cris, because only Cris didn’t mind being trepanned on the regular.” I don’t know exactly where the threshold is for pushing one’s brain too hard, but I suspect frequently draining and replacing one’s brain fluid is in that ballpark. Which is to say, it’s very possible that Mercy and Pyrrha (and potentially others) could have healed over from anything John had done to their brains.
Also, I don't know why this didn't occur to me as I was writing up that other post, but when Pyrrha's telling Palamedes about how dangerous their uhhhhh living arrangements are, and how they're risking brain damage... Pyrrha and G1deon were operating under somewhat similar circumstances for thousands of years. Cumulatively, it's possible that G1deon's brain was racking up damage that eventually eroded away whatever John had done. Another thought is that maybe the fact that G1deon died and Pyrrha didn't is at play here.
It could very well be less dramatic than that, though. We don't know much about how Lyctorhood impacts the brain, although to be completely fair, we also can't say for certain how a typical human brain would function after ten thousand years of runtime either. Our brains are constantly wiring new neural pathways and rewiring and revising old ones. After thousands of years, might we be reaching a Ship of Theseus situation with regard to the neural circuitry impacting pre-Res memories? Which is a fancy way of saying, "Maybe it wore off."
It could be all of the above, too. Assuming that Lyctor brains retain plasticity like we see in typical human brains (and I'm not letting myself think too hard on implications either way, because in sci-fi/fantasy make-believe land, neuroscience can be whatever you want it to be), we'd probably see that effect happening with the other Lyctors at roughly the same rate, but at least as far as we can tell (and that wording is intentional because I'm not taking anything off the table with this series), the others don't seem to remember. So that might be contributing, but not sufficient on its own. BUT perhaps ten thousand years of rewiring PLUS ten thousand years of cohabitation PLUS however long of being "trepanned on the regular" PLUS G1deon dying might override John's meddling.
We've still got so many open questions here regardless of what the specific mechanisms are. Like, I'd love to know when Pyrrha started to remember exactly. And did G1deon remember anything, then? It seems like he was Straight Up Not Having a Good Time so if he did remember, he might not have been relying on those memories much. Whatever's going on, I'm sure it's just as bonkers as the rest of the series!
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jorenilee · 9 months
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I made a mile long twt thread about okuyasu that I'll just paste here too because I have many thoughts about him <333 anyways heres my messy rambles about this specific line because AUUGH
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do u ever think about this one line and how perfectly it encapsulates his entire character and how it fits into diu. Like first Okuyasu is NOT a traditionally kind person, he's no saint, he's quick to violence and anger and frustration, he's close-minded and is very clear about his lack of regard for others.
But coupling that with this line from Keicho (sometimes it's translated as "only when I hit him does he listen to me) and its like damn. Their entire lives have been shaped by violence, the only way they've made ANY progress is through death and hurt.
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Keicho's power in the family comes from discipline, violence over his father and violence caused by the arrow. The one thing standing between him and a "normal" life is the literal death of his father. It doesn't matter how many lives he ruins in the process, all that matters is getting that second chance. His life has been on an uncontrollable downward spiral, but with the arrow and his own family at his heel, he has power. He can make decisions. He can unshackle himself from the past 10 years and finally start his life.
And of course Okuyasu would absorb all this, because Keicho was all he had, and his own father always responded to that violence. And if you follow the interpretation that the brothers gained their stands from the arrow, that's another instance of them gaining power through suffering. Becoming "better".
And it's so interesting that keicho treats his father and Okuyasu as deadweights "holding him back" when in reality, it was Keicho that was sinking down into tar, refusing to get out because a happier life could be just on the other side.
Okuyasu wanted to save his father the moment that possibility was established, but Keicho held onto the arrow, his sinking fate, his suffering, until the very end. He believed he crossed his moral event horizon and he was destined on this set path. No matter how much power he could scrounge for himself, death ruled his entire life, whether that of his father or the lives of the arrow's victims.
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And all this makes Okuyasu's relationships with Josuke and Koichi so much better because. Okuyasu did NOT care for their safety. He was, at least on the surface, on board with Koichi or even Josuke dying. Maybe not all that passionate, but he's seen death, probably participated in it, and believes that it's the Number 1 Nijimura Way. So then Josuke healing him is completely antithetical to his entire damn life.
He was ready to die, ready to "learn his lesson", ready to be discarded because he failed, just like how all those people died to the arrow because they failed to handle a stand. But Josuke's very lukewarm "i jus dont want ppl dying??" belief is so groundbreaking because death was so necessary for any and all progress.
Okuyasu's own stand is inherently destructive and erases things permanently. Maybe a deep-seated desire to actually make lasting impacts on his surroundings erupting as a power beyond death. To cause total oblivion. I know we all love to think that Keicho didn't want to force Okuyasu to kill his own father, but Keicho wanted a normal death. Because at least a normal death can happen to a normal family. And completely erasing someone's atoms isn't a mortal death.
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Then here comes Josuke's healing schtick which WORKS, and Josuke is fully prepared to sacrifice an arm and leg just to save Koichi. In like 15 minutes, one guy completely overwrote the past 15 years of Okuyasus life. He helps Josuke heal koichi (extra layer of fucked because all those arrow victims never HAD to die), gets called a great guy, and starts his character arc of. Making decisions in the absence of violence. Choosing to heal and rebuild instead of destroying and moving onto the next victim. Of continuing the cycle of beating life lessons into people's heads.
And Koichi, dude he choked out with a gate, becomes his close friend too. Koichi who gets repeatedly harassed thru diu but still has it in him to forgive and befriend others. He's far from naive, gets fed up with shit, but he's another opposite to Okuyasu. His stand evolves through pain, maybe, but it's from a desire to protect himself or others. There's a chance Koichi was never supposed to survive, but he did (part 4's theme about fate is a different story oooboy) and his active ability to see the best in people compliments Josuke's more aloof demeanor and Okuyasu's short temper. Koichi is like. The embodiment of growth in that way.
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and ik its eoh dialogue but this interaction was always neat to me because of how it highlighted Okuyasu's disinterest in improvement, at least when it comes to character. For him, as long as someone "gets" the lesson at a surface level or is good enough at it, there's no reason to dive deeper. To fully wrap your head around it and Feel it. Its the same utility-first philosophy Keicho held, the same idea that all that matters is the end goal, not the means or the people along the way. + how Okuyasu still bickered and talked back to Keicho, but understood well enough that Keicho was the one in control.
"bare minimum" is how okuyasu lived his entire life; his house, how keicho treated him, his response to Josuke and Koichi's kindness, his entire relationship with his father.
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He desperately wants, yeah, but its for more material things. Money and power, things either robbed from him or held over his head. And YEAH he's supposed to be hypocritical here, but like. Why does he lose his morals and sense ESPECIALLY when those two things are involved. Why does he "regress" in character growth back to tunnel-visioned violence and discipline about them.
And rahhhhhh is it lackluster writing or is it interesting that Okuyasu's pretty stagnant for the entirety of diu. It's like he's passively absorbing things about befriending former enemies through kindness, inspiring loyalty through passion not pain.
He calls Mikitaka weird and dismisses him (remnants of Keicho's utility stuff?), gets ghost tricked, acts like a big brother a few times. But it's when he meets Keicho face-to-face that it all crashes down around him. The same way Nijimura father had shackled him, Keicho had also been weighing on Okuyasu.
Its like. Keichos death made Okuyasu rebound onto Josuke and get consumed by vengeance against Otoishi, and Okuyasu didn't know how to properly grieve Shigechi either. His entire life, when someone died, violence was the answer. Hide the body, kill the father, don't ever think about what you've done.
But its Keicho, the one that spearheaded the power-and-suffering-over-all thing, who steps in and requests that Okuyasu thinks it over. The Keicho that said he stopped regarding oku as his brother, was willing to kill him to prove a point, who quite possibly shot the arrow at him. Who taught him that only violence yields the answer. Self-inflicted or not.
He says to just think about it. And Okuyasu thinks long enough for Josuke and Hayato to lose their damn minds and for him to actually understand it, fully wrap his mind around it. The fact that he has a "second" life, the life Keicho pursued for so long and died for. And he has it because of the love and compassion from his friends, how they see past the failures and transgressions of others.
How they just dont want people to die. And Okuyasu doesnt have to either. He doesnt have to stay sinking for his brother, doesnt have to lose everything for a mistake, doesnt have to destroy to make a difference. and so he chooses to live. Really, fully live. For himself.
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And he comes back, now able to recognize and separate himself from Keicho's teachings. THERES A REASON STRAY HAS BEEN MY PFP FOR FOREVER BECAUSE Okuyasu comes back and saves Stray. The little creature that literally EXPLODED him.
And it means so much that it wasn't a "this creature is good and I will rescue it" moment, because Okuyasu was never a saviour hero-type. He didn't even mean to "save" the cat. He just removed Stray from Kira's grasp, and THEN realized oh I think it's just a little guy. Alright cool I guess the fucker stays with me.
He's growing his own way, beginning his new life by first and foremost helping others. He brings stray home BEFORE it takes a liking to his father. It's just. The first independent, weighted decision he makes is giving a stressed, unfortunate cat a second chance at life. It was struck by an arrow, revived due to forces outside it's comprehension, and was fuelled by instincts to lash out and attack. And because it was destructive and able to follow orders, it was weaponized. Before finally being removed from the situation and calmed down. Sound familiar?
And now Okuyasu has a semblance of a domestic family. The Nijimura family is all about growth from death and it's so interesting. Nijimura father becoming cruelest after his wife's death, him mutating after DIO's death, Keicho believing his life begins after his father's death, Okuyasu's life actually beginning after Keicho's demise, Stray being reborn as a plant (symbol of growth), and Okuyasu reviving too (also due to Keicho's death).
+ shit about nijimura father unable to die and Okuyasu constantly being pulled from death by Josuke ADDING MORE FUNNY LAYERS TO LOOK AT + the name nijimura literally meaning rainbow village. Both the physical irl place and the idea that rainbows = rebirth and hope and new beginnings + stray being reincarnated under one + Okuyasu reviving after the rain passed. Death doesn't rule them, but is also inescapable??? Idk anyways
ALL THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY okuyasu is a flawed character surrounded by violence and bad decisions, he's not a pure soul and does fucked shit and is NOT a 2014 tumblr era cinnamon roll PLEASE. He can be an ass and it makes the hopeful buds of his new life that more beautiful cuz like. Morioh is the best place for him to settle and grow, reteach himself everything because it's a community of equally if not more dubious weirdos.
Oku's far far from perfect, he's still got a lot of anger and shortsightedness but he's with people that love him, willing to help him when he makes mistakes, doesn't hold him back. His relationships with Josuke and Koichi and others aren't like. Super poetic or cosmic or "I will find you in every universe"esque and it suits him. He's just a teen guy who went thru everything and missed out on everything. He's suffered, caused suffering, but he's leaving that cycle.
Judging by the book (semi-canon), it's going as messy as expected, but he loves his friends so so much. He's still putting himself in harm's way and being reckless and an asshole, but he has something more to fight for. And he cares a lot. Is willing to go beyond for it, maybe even improve. And that's enough for him (in the best way).
Idk how to end the thread anyways he's my son my baby perfect angel also he sucks bad BUT HE'S PERFECT ‼️‼️ this is how I feel about him every given day it just depends on the celestial alignment of the planets and stars
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thejujvtsupost · 16 days
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Collar Crimes -> Pouring Rain
It’s technically not April (when i originally planned to write this) but life happens. I’m thinking the next one is gonna be how they met but lmk if you guys want something else. 💗
Notes: some of reader’s insecurities come out, Suguru’s a sweetheart, talks of violence and very light gore.
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“Sweetheart?”
“‘M sorry! I’ll come back later- uh I’ll see you at home!”
(On a completely unrelated note, calling you sweetheart in front of everyone made your cheeks flush and heart flutter just the tiniest bit.)
This would be the first time you’ve interrupted his business. You should have knocked and now, on top of the humiliation of dripping water everywhere, you embarrassed yourself.
It was rare for you to go to Suguru‘s office, and certainly not unattended and unprompted. His building was closer to your evening class on campus than the penthouse and you were shivering and cold and completely soaked from the pouring rain.
Well, the rain wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t dark or for the car that drove by and drenched you.
“Leave.”
You flinched at his tone and bit your lip to stop it from trembling. You couldn’t let yourself cry in front of everyone and make it worse, you screwed up more than enough. Your head was already down and you were on your way out the door as fast as you could but you were blocked by the bodies of the other men leaving the room.
Oh. He meant the people he was meeting with, to your relief. Maybe he wasn’t too mad then?
“Not you bunny, c’mere. What happened? You must be freezing.” Warm arms wrapped around your shivering frame and held you close uncaring if he got wet too, a kiss to your forehead helped calm your anxiety from your interruption.
“I’m sorry for barging in, no one was out at the desk to tell me you were busy so I thought it was okay. I didn’t know- ” you were guided to the desk and onto the surface while he looked for something in the closet— a change of clothes.
“I don’t care about that, you’re always my first priority so never apologize. Why are you wet, sweetheart? I thought you had your seven pm class.”
“I did, but its raining so hard and my phone died so I couldn’t call anyone for a ride and my friends already left and I didn’t have an umbrella and I figured I’d just walk and try to be quick but then a car splashed me and I was so cold and tired and-” you took a big breath to calm down and stop rambling, “It was too much- dark too, and this was closer than going straight home.” You still felt bad for interrupting his meeting, but the warmer you got the less you regretted it.
Suguru closed the blinds to his office hummed in sympathy. (he never liked those damn friends of yours, they never valued you enough in his opinion and the fact that they left you there without even offering a ride only proved that) and started helping you out of the wet clothes clinging to your skin before placing them in a plastic bag to take home later. “You have my clothes here?”
He smiled, “You know I’m always prepared, but I figured they’d come in handy at some point. It’s just an outfit or two in a go bag for emergencies.” Your heart swelled, he was always so thoughtful when it came to you . “I got a few blankets and pillow too after you fell asleep here the first time, if you’re interested. I have to stay a few more hours but if you would rather go home I can have someone drive you.”
You shook your head, “I’d like to stay please, if it’s not a bother.”
“Of course it isn’t, why else do you think I have the blankets and pillow, bunny? You’re my bunny, you always have a place next to me.”
The tears started rolling, he wiped them away with large, warm tattooed hands and hugged you tightly to his chest. “Sorry, just been a rough day and I’m emotional.”
“I know, but you did a good thing by coming here. I’m proud of you for thinking of yourself instead of trying to get home on your own. Especially in the dark. You hate it, and s‘not safe for you out there.”
You were trying really hard, with your boyfriend’s help, to work on the part of you that felt less than and like a burden at times. It was difficult to unlearn the way you felt about yourself for years and years growing up but you were making great progress.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to hear what you’re doing for work? Isn’t it confidential?”
He just gave you a look and helped you slide on some socks.
“You should warm up soon, but how about a rest on the couch during my meeting for a little while, yeah? I’ll keep our voices down.”
You nodded and allowed him to wrap you in one of the soft blankets he spoke of before. “Wait here a second. I’ll keep it as brief as I can.”
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“So we’re looking at about 50k in damages…”
Whatever they were saying didn’t really matter to you. They kept their voices low to not disturb you for the most part.
A newer member raised his voice once Suguru corrected him immediately. “Quiet down or I’ll cut your tongue out.” And there weren’t any other incidents.
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prev <- index -> •
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🏷️: @annoyingstrawberryballoon @missgab
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ana-mp3 · 21 days
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INTRO <3 | TW: ED mentions
DISCLAIMERS:
This blog is meant to serve as an online diary and a place where I can talk about my struggles (ED, depression, ADHD, etc.). If you do not like what I post please BLOCK, DON'T REPORT.
I am NOT promoting EDs or any mental health issues I talk about.
I am very pro-recovery
ABOUT ME:
Hello! My name is Lilian, but I go by Lili. I'm queer (I really don't know TT. I'm either bi or a lesbian). I am a minor (6teen). I used to be @Lazyana (but got termed :/). I'm not sure what else to talk about.. so here are some of my interests :D. I LOVE music! I love listening to music, playing instruments, and singing! (Although I am terrible). I can play the flute, and I'm learning the piano and guitar :D (All incredibly half-assed I should mention). Along with music, I quite enjoy Philosophy/Ethics, Psychology, Geography, Vexillology, and Etymology! (Typing this out I just now realize how boring I am).
ABOUT MY ED:
(Be advised, this is very ramble-y and typed at 03:30)
I have atypical @nørexia (Which diagnostically isn't that different from regular @nør3xia). It's all the same criteria, just not being underweight. I've never received any type of treatment/medical attention for my ED. I've had an on-and-off ED for a few years now, but it got serious this year. I've always been insecure about my body, ever since elementary school. I have always been taller and a bit bigger than all my friends (It didn't help that they were/are all just naturally very skinny and short) and so I've found my ED journey(?) extremely lonely and isolating. An ED in itself is already a deeply lonesome experience, but with the addition of all your friends (ever) being the standard you so desperately wish you were just throws in new emotions. Sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt, shame, and knowing that they would never (truly) understand what you're going through. (I'm not saying that skinny people can't have ED's. I'm saying that they wouldn't understand what it's like to be bigger with an ED). I haven't told anyone about my ED for a few reasons. 1) I don't want to be a burden that they have to watch over. I don't want them to be worried about me constantly (I also don't want to feel pressured to eat). 2) I am not at the results I want yet. I've always had a thought in the back of my mind, "You can eat/get better/get help/etc., once you're skinny" and surprise surprise, I'm not there yet. 3) I just know they wouldn't/couldn't understand. They all are skinny/short/really pretty, blessed with fast metabolisms. How could they understand that I have to ⭐ve myself to get skinner. How could they understand that I hate how I look so badly, that I need to punish myself for it. How could they possibly understand my obsessively toxic mindset, where I'm acutely aware of everything I've ate and the calories I've consumed (I can't forget what I've ate until I log it). 4) They'd never look at me the same. Sure, they wouldn't judge me for it, but I'd always have that target stuck on my back forever. I'd always be 'the girl with the ED'. 5) This is one of my most vulnerable secrets I'm keeping. I can barely communicate with my friends about significantly less intense mental health issues, let alone a god damn ED.
STATS:
SW: 178lbs/80kg
CW: 165.6lbs/74kg
GW1: 154lbs/70kg
GW1: 147lbs/67kg
GW2: 140lbs/63kg
GW3: 132lbs/60kg
GW3: 127lbs/58kg
UGW: 110lbs/50kg
height: 5'8/173cm
That has been that <3. (Again please don't report, It really doesn't help in any way :( please just block me)
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688199 · 1 year
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i will, don’t test me thomas doodooballs. my hatred for you triumphs everything 🔥🔥🔥 once i familiarise myself with mlb (🤮) i will maybe write a test script for an episode.
thomas and his writing team is proof that just because you have a job in something doesn’t mean you’re good at it.
huge rant and ramble:
as an avid enjoyer of story telling, i strongly despise everyone behind the writing of mlb.
firstly, marinette is supposed to have bad luck through her ditziness. i watched a few episodes, and her “bad luck” seems to just be with anything regarding adrien? it’s actually just more of her being obsessive and leading to stupid mistakes. on the other hand, bridgette obviously has bad luck. getting drenched, burning her tongue, yet she smiles through it. THIS IS POTENTIAL FOR BRIDGETTE’S CHARACTER. marinette’s character has never been properly explained. why is she this way? why is she different as ladybug? (honestly is she even different? kinda, but it’s not obvious) we sure do know why adrien is more carefree as chat noir. but not marinette. on the other hand, the set up for bridgette’s character can lead to so many plot possibilities. why is she so optimistic? is it because it’s what is expected of her? is she purposefully dense? when she gets drenched by the car, she pauses for a short while looking solemn, then smiles. but that smile looks pained almost. like she’s sick of acting that way. (yes i know i’m looking too much into a pv but that’s the point. i’m saying why the pv has potential.) therefore, as ladybug, she can be herself. someone who does whatever she wants, going ahead without thought, being the person she cannot be. anyways, why the hell is marinette even in love with adrien anyways. he just gave her a god damn umbrella or smth idk. i believe my baby bridgette loves felix because she truly sees his soft side. it may be cliche but it sure is a better reason than an umbrella.
secondly, felix. thomas and his team said he was too much like a cliche male anime protagonist, and adrien would let them tell more interesting stories. i mean sure, but it’s most ironic how they even FAILED AT THAT. i rather a cliche male anime protagonist than bitch boy adrien who is as bland as cardboard. felix being cold to those around him is very reasonable because as a model, he’s used to people only liking him for looks and his money. he thinks that bridgette only likes him for those reasons, so he pushes her away. but as chat noir, felix, like bridgette, is able to be someone he truly feels. unrestrained by societal pressures. EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE BOTH POLAR OPPOSITES, ONE BEING COLD WHILE THE OTHER IS TOO WARM, THEY SUFFER FROM THE SAME ISSUES DEEP DOWN. AS HEROES THEY ARE THEMSELVES. ISNT THIS COOL????? ISNT THIS A GOOD STORYTELLING POINT?????????? then even though he needs to kiss ladybug to break the curse, he soon falls in love with her because he admires her boldness, which is something he lacks when he’s himself. he doesn’t have the courage to stand up against his father. i think mlb chat noir likes ladybug for similar reasons but i don’t remember it being connected like that. (never watched the entire 100+ episodes, only bits and pieces, and read up other stuff so might be wrong.)
i believe his team is just straight lazy. they watered down the relationships and characters to the point that dynamic contrast is just not as powerful as before. in early preproduction art, the concept shown is supposed to revolve heavily around the idea of opposites. marinette is now just an obsessive stalker and adrien takes it. chat noir flirts with ladybug and she takes it. where’s the rejection from the opposite party??? where’s the oomph?? where’s the spice???
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i do enjoy the concept of them letting go of their crushes. but i didn’t like how it was done in the series. it’s as if the writers don’t fucking know the hell they’re going. felix struggles with understanding whether he truly loves bridgette or is it because of the effects of the ring’s curse. does he really want the curse to be gone? while it gives him bad luck, he gets to be himself. what does he truly want? for bridgette, she realises that she is bothering felix too much. wanting the best for him and for her to focus on being ladybug, she learns to leave him in the past for both their good. she also suffers with the weight of being the main heroine. even though she uses her identity as ladybug to be free of expectations and responsibilities, yet it’s coming back to haunt her so she starts to feel stress. while chat noir and bridgette backs away, felix and ladybug realise that they miss the other’s company since the other was always there for them when they needed it the most. the way this was written in mlb was awfully horrible.
look at what i can do thomas astruc, look at the potential. “their chemistry sucks it’ll never work” SUCK MY BALLS WHAT BULLSHIT IS THAT.
anyways, other than the obvious reason as to why the animation is a lot more visually striking and can express more things the cgi can’t (dynamic movement, special effects, etc) (funny enough, the people behind mlb said the cgi made the show more dynamic???), this is why the pv has much more potential and i will never stop believing that.
(also why didn’t the cgi ever put in effort to make ladybug and chat noir look different than their normal selves. it’s the biggest fucking plot hole that never attempts to change. even the pv tries to make bridgette’s hair change.) (sorry for low quality but see, her hair is more messy too.)
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thomas astruc and zag you’re just lazy money grabbing bastards 🗣️ i stand by that. if you’re truly passionate about what you want to do (which i believe you guys were until you weren’t), you wouldn’t have sacrificed quality for money.
“the concept of the original show dealt with political themes geared towards teens and young adults but it failed to gain traction with networks so it retooled for a younger audience.” other than the team failing to realise that “cliche” doesn’t automatically mean bad, the other huge fault is that they think children are stupid and can’t handle heavier themes. look at bluey, look at all the series out there with a relatively large children audience which also deal with such stuff. it’s not impossible, it just needs exceptional writing skills. but what can i expect from a team like that.
sorry not sorry, i’m pretty mad. i have a lot of other complaints but i already spent 2h writing this. down with thomas astruc!!!!! all hail ladybug pv!!!!!!
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meiliarotten · 10 months
Text
Team Fortress 2 Kinktober Time
Day 29: Overcome (Edging)
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🔞MINORS DNI🔞
Pairings: Spy x Male!Reader
Summary: Five thousand words of Spy just wrecking the reader.
Tags: Edging, dirty talk, degradation, lube, dom/sub, teasing, oral
Word Count: 5.1k
The Masterlist
You couldn’t quell the sense of apprehension that you felt as you approached Spy’s private quarters. You knew he probably wanted to go over the day's battle- which inevitably devolved into listing each and every misstep you had made. You would be lying if you said it wasn’t a bit discouraging, especially since this had become a near weekly routine.
Perhaps it would be easier if he wasn’t so damn attractive. Spy was a handsome man, even with the mask, you could tell. You wanted to impress him. Unfortunately your attempts to do so often led to the previously mentioned missteps. In your opinion, he could probably be qualified as a workplace hazard with how often he distracted you on the job. Then again, as a mercenary, workplace hazards were pretty much in the job description.
Today you were especially distracted, most likely because your little infatuation was getting worse. You had practically walked right into enemy fire. The fact that Spy had seen it all made you want to die, but then again, respawn would probably just bring you back to face your embarrassment head on.
Well, there was no point in stalling. With a resigned sigh, you entered the room. It was always more organized than you expected. It was definitely tidier than yours, and probably cleaner and more well furnished than any of the other mercenaries’ rooms. The scent of smoke was evident, but not suffocating. Spy was seated on the edge of his bed, and you startled a bit when his eyes met yours.
He wasn’t wearing his mask. You had seen glimpses of Spy without the balaclava before, but they were few and far between. More often than not it was with stolen glances in the showers, which you tried to keep as subtle as possible. You had certainly never had the chance to see him up close like this before. You shook your head, trying to regain some focus.
“You wanted to see me?” You asked, trying not to make it obvious that you were staring. He had the faintest bit of stubble on his face, and you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to feel it, to simply brush your hand against his cheek. “Look, I know I was really off my game today. I promise I’ll do better next time-”
“That is not what I wanted to discuss, my dear.” Spy cut you off. You were actually thankful to be interrupted, as you knew you would just start rambling if you went on.
“It’s not?” You asked, tilting your head to the side curiously.
“Non, at least, not entirely,” he explained. “It is obvious that you’re quite distracted on the battlefield as of late. I know you have potential. You can improve, yet you make foolish mistakes and take unnecessary risks, and I think I know why.”
“Oh? And why is that?” You asked, feigning interest. It almost sounded as if he was about to give you some half-assed inspirational speech. You couldn’t suppress a smile at the thought of that, almost laughing at the idea of Spy of all people giving a pep talk.
“You have been trying to impress me.”
Your smile dropped as soon as it appeared. Oh. Oh fuck.
“Excuse me?” You tried to stay nonchalant. You must have heard him wrong. You couldn’t possibly be that easy to read, could you?
“You have been trying to impress me,” he repeated, just as clearly as the first time. “You’ve wanted my attention for some time now.”
Your mind was racing as you tried to find a way out of this. Maybe you could still play dumb? You tried to maintain a poker face- which may have worked if it weren’t for the fact that you had never won a poker game in your life.
“It’s not what you think-”
“And before you try to deny it, I’ll have you know that I keep a close eye on everyone in the base.” Spy said, cutting off what would have been a futile attempt at damage control. “I’ve seen you sneaking glances in the showers and the way your face glows red when you notice me watching you on the battlefield. It would be ineffective to lie to me.”
You clenched your jaw in defeat. He was right, and you were irritated that you hadn’t hidden it better. Then again, he was a spy. You should have known you would be figured out eventually. It was frustrating to be read like an open book. But the most frustrating thing by far was that even now, as he called you out like this, you still found him so damn hot.
You were also quite preoccupied with the imminent hard on you were trying not to think about. That was a concern for later, when you were by yourself.
“So what are you trying to say, Spy?” You asked, defeat evident in your voice. “What is this about? Did you just want to humiliate me?”
“I would never, chéri.” Spy looked offended, hurt even, at the idea that you would ask such a question. “What I’m trying to say is, I know what you want, and I am more than willing to give it to you. That is, if you are willing to listen and obey.”
The sense of vulnerability you had been feeling since you entered Spy’s room threatened to boil over. You felt seen. Spy knew that he could have you shuddering beneath his gaze and going weak at the sound of his voice if he tried hard enough. Even now, your head spun at the prospect of what you were being offered, breath quickening and inhaling an intoxicating blend of expensive cigarettes and cologne which permeated the air.
“What would you like me to do?” You asked, cautious, perhaps even a bit hesitant, but willing.
Spy paused, thinking for a moment, as if he hadn’t expected you to submit with such ease. The way he looked at you made you shiver. His eyes were narrowed and focused, like an animal stalking prey.
“I would like you to undress,” he said, finally breaking the silence. You breathed a shaky sigh. You knew that this would likely end with you naked, but you hadn’t expected it to be so immediate, nor did you expect to be commanded to strip in such a matter-of-fact way.
Steeling your nerves, you pulled off your shirt and pants, trying to look as alluring as possible as you did so. Based on the way Spy chuckled, you guessed that your efforts came off as more cute than handsome, but at least it was endearing anyway.
“All the way, darling,” he said when you were nearly done, motioning towards the briefs you had neglected to remove.
You hesitated, realizing for a moment how much power you had given Spy, and even though you could revoke that power at any moment, it still made you nervous. Perhaps that was part of the appeal. You put on a brave face, hooking your fingers into the waistband and dropping the final garment to the floor along with your other clothes.
The way Spy looked you up and down made you feel like some kind of exotic animal, paraded around for his viewing pleasure. It should have felt demeaning, but under his gaze all you felt was excitement. And of course, now that you were naked, there was no way for you to hide the physical evidence of that excitement, save for holding your hands strategically in front of yourself, which was exactly what you opted to do.
“Very nice. Now come here,” Spy finally spoke after what felt like an eternity of simply staring at you. In reality, it had probably lasted for only a few moments, but you were still happy to finally be proceeding. You approached Spy, and he stood for the first time since you entered his room. Still, he looked perfectly relaxed. It was the posture of someone who knew they were in control, who knew they were perfectly capable of drawing you in and bending you to their will.
You gasped softly when he took hold of your wrists, pulling your hands away from where they futilely tried to hide your arousal. You were fully hard at this point, and you hoped that the smirk that spread across Spy’s lips was a sign that he was impressed with what he saw. Silence fell over the two of you again, and again it felt like forever before he finally responded.
“You are quite a sight, mon ange,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I want to touch every inch of you.”
You let him do just that, shuddering as he ran his hands down your sides. The unmistakable texture of leather gloves traced the curvature and edges of your body. His gaze seemed to burn, intense and focused, as if he was looking through you, seeing your every layer, perceiving the deepest details of your being. It took every bit of will you had not to cover yourself again.
For a while you watched his hands to distract yourself from your nervousness. As they traveled over your flesh your eyes followed them. That worked until he brought one of those wandering hands to your chin, tilting your head upward so that you met his eyes. They were alight with lust and something you couldn’t quite place. You didn’t have time to ponder it though, as he leaned in and caught you in a kiss.
You wasted no time kissing back, but it was clumsy, especially compared to Spy’s more experienced movements. His tongue slid against your lips in a silent request for entrance that you gladly gave in to. He explored your mouth skillfully, gradually deepening the kiss. The two of you parted for breath in intervals of only a few seconds before setting upon each other again, rough, needy, and hungry for more.
You didn’t even notice that you were being carefully guided to the bed. Only when Spy pulled away fully did you realize that you were seated on the mattress, gently being pushed backwards.
“Lay back, darling. Relax,” Spy said, grinning as he climbed atop you. Before you could say a word he was pressing his lips against you, from your mouth to your neck and then lower still. You arched up against him, shivering at the feeling of the expensive fabric of his suit against your bare skin.
“Spy, please! Fuck me!” You begged, reaching up and pulling at the lapels in an attempt to get his attention.
“Not yet.” Spy calmly removed your hands, freeing himself from your grasp, which had managed to wrinkle his suit slightly.
He didn't seem to mind, as he immediately proceeded to make his way down your body, kissing over every inch of your skin. You shivered when his touch ghosted over your chest and stomach, growing impatient with the slow pace Spy was taking.
“What are you doing?” You asked, slightly annoyed, although most of that annoyance was smothered by the breathy sound of your voice which you just couldn’t keep steady. You didn’t get an answer, instead feeling the sensation of Spy’s hand gripping your cock without warning. A gasp tore from your throat and looked down, meeting his gaze. He simply glanced back up at you, eyes narrowed deviously.
“I want to taste you.” It was a simple enough statement, and Spy’s desire was evident in the lowering of his voice, an almost growl-like sound permeating his words. It made your breath quicken, and the sensation of his tongue lapping along the underside of your cock certainly didn’t help. You shuddered and tried to hold back any embarrassing sounds with little success. Of course, Spy commented on the strength of your reactions. “So sensitive…”
That was the last thing you heard him say before he took you completely into his mouth. You had to struggle not to immediately buck into that wet warmth. Luckily, Spy held a surprisingly strong grip on your hips to help keep you still. Brief moments of eye contact passed between the two of you as he watched your every response to his actions. You were sure he would be grinning if his mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied.
Seeing Spy perform such debaucherous acts while still dressed to the nines added a certain charm to the experience. Even his gloves were still on, and you felt the leather against your skin every time Spy squeezed your hips in warning, keeping you from thrusting into his mouth. The feeling of the material made you curse under your breath. You had always had a thing for gloves, and it figured that your little kink would rear its head mid-blow job with the man you had been not-so-subtly lusting after since the first day you joined this team.
Your train of thought was cut short as Spy’s tongue slid over the head, lapping at the precum beading there. He was surprisingly skilled with that mouth of his, better than you had expected, and you were already embarrassingly close to coming.
“Spy! Fuck, I’m close!” You moaned, just barely able to warn him before the point of no return. Spy stopped sucking, as you expected, but to your dismay, he didn’t proceed to stroke you to completion. It was especially unfortunate given that the thought of those gloves on such a sensitive area was something you very much wanted to make a reality.
Spy was kissing you again before you had the chance to complain. You gasped in surprise and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Your thoughts went foggy as you tasted yourself on his tongue. His hands started wandering again, eventually running over your chest, brushing against your nipples as they went. You pulled away with a moan, breaking the kiss and causing Spy to look down at you curiously. He ran a thumb over one of your nipples, placing focus on that area briefly before sliding his hand down your side again. This was met with a similar reaction, and a devious grin spread across Spy’s face.
“You like these, don’t you?” Spy asked, raising a gloved hand and flexing his fingers.
“Maybe…” you whispered, not willing to raise your voice any more than you absolutely had to. The way Spy was looking at you was wolf-like, and it made you feel small, like you were completely at his mercy.
“You like the feeling of my gloves against your skin.” This time it was spoken as a statement, clear and precise. “You like it when the leather brushes against you, when I caress you, when I stroke you like this .”
You jolted when you felt Spy’s hand wrap around your cock. The moan you let out was embarrassingly loud, and he hadn’t even moved yet. Spy stifled a laugh, albeit not very well. Of course, you didn't exactly have the time to be self-conscious once he began stroking you.
“Oh fuck,” you moaned as he settled into an agonizingly slow pace.
“That feels quite nice doesn’t it? The leather rubbing against your most sensitive areas, bringing you closer and closer to climax.” Spy’s breath tickled your ear as he leaned in to whisper to you. “Tell me when you’re about to come. I don’t want this to end just yet.”
Honestly, you were lucky you didn’t come right then and there. Somehow you held back, managing to save yourself from even more humiliation. You tried to get ahold of yourself, taking deep breaths and trying to focus on anything other than how good Spy was making you feel.
The leather added an extra element of friction that you found immensely gratifying. The gradual pace at which Spy stroked you kept you right on edge, seeming to extend the pleasure indefinitely. It was when he began to stroke his thumb over the head that you began to lose control.
“Spy!” You stammered, unable to choke out any further warning. Luckily, Spy seemed to get the message, recognizing how your voice shifted in tone and volume when you were about to finish. He ceased his movements, leaving you trembling, any sense of satisfaction having been delayed once again.
“Hands up, against the headboard,” Spy ordered. You obeyed, and before you could get a word out, he had removed his tie and used it to bind your wrists to the bed frame. You glared at him, rapidly losing your patience being teased.
“Oh, don’t pout, mon chéri. We can’t have you touching yourself, can we?” He said, dragging a finger along the underside of your cock.
“Please, get on with it!” You sounded ruder than you meant to, but Spy was pushing you to your limit. If your mind wasn’t so clouded with lust, you might have been a bit embarrassed at the fact that a little edging was all it took to make you come undone. Spy simply shook his head, looking at you the way one might look at a disobedient pet.
“So impatient. Have you still not learned who is in charge here?” Spy asked. You continued to glare at him, and he met your eyes with an equally intense look. “And such a willful expression. Perhaps I haven’t broken you enough. I could always keep you like this, darling.”
You tried to suppress a shudder as his fingers traced down your stomach, down to the base of your cock, before abruptly changing their course to stroke over your thighs. They remained there, so very close to where you longed to be touched. It left you quivering with need.
“I could repeat this pattern of teasing you to the brink for as long as I need too. I am a very patient man,” Spy continued. “And when I finally let you come, what makes you think I’ll stop there? I could keep going, stroking you, working you up again, watching you cry out from the overstimulation, reducing you to a sensitive, writhing little whore. I could have you screaming for me if I wanted to. So tell me, are we going to do this the hard way, or are you going to be a good boy for me?”
Spy’s words had you suddenly much more hesitant to misbehave.“I will,” you said, realizing that submitting was the only way to get what you wanted.
“You will what, mon cher?” Spy pressed on. Your face flushed, and through gritted teeth, you conceded.
“I’ll be a good boy.”
“There, that wasn’t so difficult, now was it?” Spy said, cupping one of your reddened cheeks. The embarrassment was almost worth it to see the way Spy smiled at you. “Now, just sit back and relax, my love.”
You did as you were told, leaning back on the pillows as best as you could with your hands still bound above your head. Spy stood up from the bed, only to begin stripping for you. He hit the perfect balance between teasing and nonchalant as he shucked off his jacket and pants. ‘Sitting back and relaxing’ became especially difficult when he decided to unbutton his dress shirt at a snail’s pace, but eventually that too fell to the floor along with the rest of his discarded clothing. Finally, in contrast to everything else, the briefs were removed relatively quickly.
Your breathing hastened as you drank in the sight of him. There was no shame in staring for as long as you wanted here, unlike in the showers, where you were limited to sneaking quick glances. He was gorgeous, and despite his slim build, he managed to make you feel small in comparison to him. This wasn’t helped by the fact that he immediately returned to the bed by climbing on top of you and taking his sweet time looming over your shivering, restrained body with a look of immense satisfaction.
“You look quite nice beneath me like this,” he said, smirking at how you squirmed for him. Spy had clearly received the reaction he was looking for from you. You were right where he wanted you, and you prayed that now that he had his fun, he would finally have mercy on you.
“Please…” you muttered, growing more impatient by the moment. You pulled against the tie, but it held up surprisingly well against your struggles.
”Je sais, you’re desperate to come, aren’t you?” Spy teased, cupping your cheek and pressing his lips against yours in a brief kiss. “Do you want me to take you here and now, my dear?”
“Yes yes yes, please! Please fuck me!” Any shame you had left was abandoned. You were positively aching to be fucked, and you threw all of your effort into begging for it without hesitation.
Your pleas were met with a low chuckle from Spy, who proceeded to roll off of you, ignoring the way you whined as he did so. For a brief moment, you thought he was going to leave you desperate once again, but you quickly fell silent as you watched him retrieve a bottle of lube from the drawer of his bedside table. It figured that he would have something like that handy at a moment’s notice. He returned to you, kneeling between your legs.
“Have you done this before?” He asked, his gaze softening as he looked you over.
“Not like this,” you admitted hesitantly, trying to suppress the nervousness that was beginning to build. “But I do want it, I want it so badly, Spy.”
“I don’t doubt that, but you will need to show just a little more patience,” Spy said with a small, genuine laugh, the sound of which helped to dissipate your anxiety. Still, you gasped when you felt his fingers begin to circle your entrance. “Soon, I’ll make you feel good. I’ll make you come, mon amour.”
He paused to apply some of the lube to his fingers, and you whimpered softly as he pushed a single digit into you. You tried to relax for him, focusing on how good it felt to finally have something within you. Spy hummed in approval, being able to thrust a second finger into you just a few minutes later.
You took to the sensation quite nicely. By the time he added a third, he was starting to curl his fingers within you. You moaned aloud, all apprehension gone as you begged him to fuck you already.
“You’re doing very well, darling,” Spy said, removing his fingers. You couldn’t help but squirm at the feeling of emptiness, even though you knew you would soon be getting exactly what you had been pleading for.
Spy poured some more lube into his palm and you watched eagerly as he stroked his cock with it. He leaned over you, meeting your eyes for a moment, silently asking for permission to proceed. You nodded, and his gaze became more intense as he entered you slowly.
Despite all the preparation, you instinctively tensed up. You knew it would feel good eventually, but in the moment it was more than a little awkward. Spy paused, allowing you to adjust at your own pace. The moment he saw any signs of discomfort he leaned down to kiss along your neck. His hands ran down your sides, feather light touches allowing you to relax into his surprisingly gentle touch.
“Mon dieu, you feel amazing,” Spy moaned, beginning to thrust into you shallowly and cautiously, giving you time to get used to the strange new feeling. You shuddered beneath him, hands clenched in tight fists against the headboard. However, you soon found yourself easing into the sensation, moaning freely as pleasure began to replace any discomfort.
“Such a noisy little thing, aren’t you?” Spy chuckled.
“I can’t help it, it feels so good,” you gasped, trying in vain to be quieter. Spy looked down at you with a devious smirk, clearly intent on making you moan even louder by the time he was done with you.
“We’ve barely begun, mon cher.” He leaned down to catch you in a kiss, going slowly and passionately in contrast to the rough and hungry kisses you had shared at the start of this little tryst. “I am going to go faster now, is that alright?”
“Yes, please! ”
“Perfect. Let me show you just how good I can make you feel.” Spy sped up, and you immediately found that you weren’t prepared for what he had to offer you. Of course, you enjoyed it all the same. Being fucked like this was so new, so overwhelming, and it made your head spin. Yet it was all so intoxicating at the same time, almost addictive.
As for Spy, he certainly wasn’t quiet either. He moaned as he thrust into you, clutching the bedsheets in tight fists, panting, groaning. He made no secret of just how good he was feeling. Even so, you were quite a bit louder. Right when you thought it couldn’t possibly get better, a change of angle had you reeling, mouth agape in a silent scream until you managed to regain the ability to make noise with a gasp and a full body shudder. Spy took note of your reaction immediately.
“Right there?” He asked, grinding against your prostate and seeming very pleased when he got an even stronger response from you. “Oh yes, that is a very good spot, isn’t it?”
You nodded, feeling as if you had gone completely boneless. Spy thrust into you again, this time stopping just short of your sweet spot. You squirmed and tried to buck your hips, but he held you still.
“Spy, I’m so close!” You cried, squirming futilely against his deceptively strong hold.
“Beg.”
It was a short yet clear command. You were so aroused it was almost painful, and you certainly weren’t about to risk another round of denial.
“Please, please fuck me!” You pleaded. “I need you to fuck me!”
“Is that the best you can do, mon amour?” Spy clearly wasn’t impressed with your efforts. You writhed and tried to thrust yourself onto his cock, but the hold on your hips was unyielding, and the tie around your wrists didn’t help your lack of mobility. That left you with no other choice but to throw away the last bit of dignity you had. Not that you had a problem with that.
“I need to come! I need you to let me, please Spy, please make me come!” You threw yourself wholeheartedly into begging. Most of your efforts became strangled groans, but the few coherent words you managed seemed to satisfy Spy. He had successfully made a pitiful, moaning mess of you, and more importantly, you had enjoyed every moment of it.
You heard him chuckle and begin to pull away, and for a bewildering moment, you thought you were being denied once again- and then he slammed back into you, much more roughly than you were expecting. Your mouth fell agape as Spy set a breakneck pace that you didn’t know he was capable of. You were vaguely aware of him whispering to you, praising you, muttering sweet nothings as you chased after the pleasure pooling low in your abdomen, threatening to overwhelm you at any moment.
Of course, you didn’t stand a chance the moment Spy located that especially sensitive spot within you once again. All it took was a few more well placed thrusts to have you coming undone on your own stomach and chest, your climax hitting you harder than you could have predicted. You jerked against the tie around your wrists, hips bucking upward as you practically screamed.
“Oui darling, that’s it, keep making those beautiful sounds for me!” Spy’s movements grew uneven, and his voice became strained as he chased his own orgasm, thrusting into you and sending sparks of overstimulation up your body until he went still and finished with a low groan.
With a heavy sigh, he fell to the side, and both of you were left panting like animals for several moments. You tugged against your restraints weakly, and with shaky hands, Spy reached up and untied you. You massaged your wrists and clenched your fists repeatedly to bring feeling back into them. The rush of blood back to your extremities left you with the sensation of pins and needles on your palms.
You laid on the bed for several moments, simply waiting until you caught your breath. Your heart was still racing. Unwittingly, you leaned your head against Spy’s shoulder. When he didn’t pull away, you elected to stay there.
“You did very well for your first time.” Spy brought a hand up to run through your hair. He didn’t sound nearly as out of breath as you were. You would have been a bit jealous of how composed he was compared to you, but the haze of euphoria hadn’t quite disappeared enough for you to feel anything more than mild annoyance. Plus, you couldn’t deny that the praise made your cheeks flush a little.
“That was really good,” you muttered, half to yourself, unsure of how to reply to Spy’s compliment. That bit of awkwardness was all it took for your mind to start racing. What happened now? Were you expected to leave? If not, then how long were you expected to stay?
Thankfully, before your train of thought could completely devolve, Spy answered several of those questions for you, by pulling you into his arms and tossing a blanket over the two of you. Apparently you were expected to stay for a while longer.
“Spy, the others will get suspicious if we’re missing for too long,” you warned, even though you weren’t really in a hurry to leave his embrace.
“Let them. I’m perfectly fine with letting everyone know that you’re mine. If they don’t already know, that is. You were quite loud,” he said with a smirk. You, on the other hand, went red and hid your face in your hands at the thought of anyone overhearing what had just occurred.
Spy chuckled, and you heard it as much as felt it, as you rested your head upon his chest. Even though he was teasing you, you found the soft vibration of his laughter comforting, closing your eyes with a soft smile.
You knew that eventually the two of you would have to get dressed and face the other mercenaries at dinner, but that was a problem for future you. Right now, you were content to stay beneath the covers, pressed against Spy’s body, basking in the afterglow. The only care you really had was how you would hide the telltale limp you would no doubt be walking with later.
82 notes · View notes