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bettsfic · 2 years

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today is my birthday! i’m 33 today and i have done an ungodly amount of stupid shit in my life that honestly probably should have gotten me killed. so here are 33 hard-won things i’ve learned that i wish someone had told me sooner.

whenever you buy an object, you are going to own that object for your entire life unless you make the conscious decision to throw it away or give it a new home. maybe other people don’t struggle with this as much as i do, but i’ve grown to become a little exhausted by finding a thing and realizing i don’t want it anymore, but i don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it. signed, a woman with a packed 10x10 storage unit who is now extremely hesitant to buy new things.

food, and by that i mean good food (and by that i don’t necessarily mean healthy food, but food of good quality that you love), is necessary to live, and buying it, preparing it, and eating it is not a chore. the sooner you accept this and make food a priority in your life, the healthier you’ll be.

speaking of food, not everything you buy should be the cheapest version of it. personally i’ve found it’s always worth it to splurge on good olive oil, butter, and canned tomatoes. for years i thought i was an awful cook because i was cooking with cheap, disgusting olive oil that made my food taste like shit.

speaking of food part 2, i can’t BELIEVE how long this took me to figure out, but mise en place is the real real. get your shit out and organized and prepped *before* you start cooking, even if it makes things take longer. and yes, it is always worth it to do the dishes as you go, which pisses me off.

when i was teaching myself how to cook and feeling daunted about it, the best advice i ever got was to aim to learn 15 recipes and then put them in rotation.

this is the most horrific and awful truth i have forced myself to accept: there may come a day you can no longer digest your favorite foods, and you will either have to stop eating them, or remain very close to a toilet. i’m sorry.

other people are always going to misperceive you and misunderstand you, sometimes willfully. other people’s opinions of you don’t actually have anything to do with you. they’re not your business, and you don’t have to worry about it or change yourself.

when innocuous or neutral things make you irrationally angry or upset, step back, realize you’re having a big reaction, and then when you’re ready, pay very close attention to the thing that upset you, because you’re about to learn something important about yourself.

a pill sorter can save your life. i don’t know how i managed my meds without one.

sometimes college is about learning stuff, and not about becoming something.

no matter how many perfectionist tendencies you have, it’s worth it to remind yourself that no matter how much of a mess you actually are, you deserve to be loved.

if you’re always forgetting to do important but tedious things, set an alarm and set aside one hour of each week, not to do the important tedious things, but to assess what needs to be done, and *schedule* the important tedious things for the following week. this literally changed my life.

during that hour, make a meal plan too. the point of doing this is condense the time in which you’re making decisions (what to do, what to eat, etc) so you don’t have to burden yourself with them throughout the week. decision fatigue is real. any way you can alleviate that is a good thing.

learn the difference between aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive behavior. recognize when you’re being one of the first three, re-assess and aim for being assertive, even if it’s hard.

you can tell you’ve processed trauma, not when the traumatic thing stops upsetting you to think about, but when the traumatic thing takes up the same size in your brain as all your other memories.

if you’re one of those people who never seems to finish projects or follow through with things, there’s a chance you may just grow out of it naturally. until then, follow your interests and don’t feel bad about putting down a hobby to pick up another.

if you love stickers but have sticker anxiety, buy vinyl stickers. you can re-stick them.

there are only a few careers i can think of that you have to commit to early in life because getting the undergraduate credentials is a pain in the ass (teachers, doctors, and engineers, from my research). nearly everything else you can switch to later, which takes a LOT of pressure off having to figure out what you want to do with your life.

people say there’s no money in becoming an artist, writer, musician, etc. actually there’s a ton of money in all of those things, it’s just in the stuff other people want you to make and never what you want to make. it’s still worth it to develop the creative skill and not force yourself into business school because it’s more “practical” or whatever.

sleep when you’re tired. SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE TIRED. don’t beat yourself up about it, don’t tell yourself you shouldn’t be tired or that you’ve already slept too much, just take a fucking nap. you would never say “hm i’ve already had enough water today, therefore i should not be thirsty” so don’t treat sleep the same way.

when you build a piece of furniture from target or ikea or whatever, the first thing you should do is count all the little screws and things to make sure everything’s there that should be. it sucks to get halfway into putting something together only to find there’s a piece missing and you have to go buy it.

learn to travel by yourself, go out to eat by yourself, see a movie by yourself. in my early 20s i was scared to do these things, but i do them so often now i don’t even think about it. it’s the most fulfilling skill i’ve ever learned.

adding to the above, if you’re a people-pleaser, being alone is especially important, because you’ve probably developed the habit of making the people you’re with more comfortable and happy than yourself, and you’re missing a lot of the beautiful and interesting things around you. when you’re by yourself, you can focus on what *you* want without guilt.

sometimes you’ll want to break things off with a friend for reasons that are no one’s fault, and you don’t want it to be volatile or make a big thing of it, in which case the goal is to simply fade out of their life. it is okay to let people go.

shame is useless. get rid of it.

no matter how much of yourself you put into your art (or writing, or music, or whatever), when people criticize it, they are not criticizing you. they are having a reaction colored by their own tastes and perspectives. their opinion of your work has nothing to do with you. you don’t have to take everyone’s feedback. in fact you don’t have to take anyone’s feedback. the other side to this coin unfortunately is that compliments don’t have anything to do with you either. it’s good to accept this because it means you’ll stop seeking validation from other people and won’t let anyone else’s perspectives impact your work. anything nice anyone says about your work is merely a bonus to an already good thing.

if you’re an artist of any kind, take one day a year to look up opportunities like grants, funding, residencies, workshops, whatever. put the due dates of all of them on a calendar for the year following and get into the habit of applying for stuff. getting rejected sucks, application fees suck, but in all the years i’ve been doing this, it has always, always been worth it. these things give you a chance not only to help fund and support what you’re passionate about, but they force you to take your own work seriously, and that is something that’s absolutely necessary in order to be successful.

you must become your own greatest advocate. in all respects--in health, in love, in happiness, in freedom, you must. no one will ever fight as hard for you as you will. this in turn will give you the strength and motivation to help others fight for themselves too. the only way the world will ever get better is if every person on this planet learns to see themselves as equals to everyone around them.

brag about yourself as often as you can. for one, people develop their perceptions of you based on how you treat yourself and speak about yourself. but for two, it’s the fastest way to figure out which people to keep in your life, because they’re the ones who are going “oh hell yeah, you’re awesome.”

be the person other people want to brag to.

at some point in your life, someone is going to hurt you, and it’s going to be willful and intentional. it is not worth it to waste brain space figuring out why they did it or why you think you deserved it. all you have to do is let yourself feel that pain, acknowledge it, and try to move on.

no matter how bad off you think you are, recovery is possible. the first and hardest step is to learn you’re worth the time and effort it takes to recover from the awful things that have happened to you.

developing an expertise does not mean you’re getting objectively better at something. becoming an expert is only the process of seeing your mistakes and having the patience to sit in the discomfort of not knowing how to fix them.

#writing advice

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linghxr · 1 year

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75 essential single-character verbs (单字动词)

When I started consuming more native Chinese content, I quickly discovered an area in which my knowledge was lacking: single-character verbs. In my experience, it’s very easy to focus on learning words consisting of two or more characters and overlook single-character words.

Driven by curiosity, I went through my Anki deck (and also wracked my brain) to generate a list of characters/words that I have learned over the past couple years (roughly). Then I selected 75 verbs that are fairly common and important to know. They skew towards intermediate and advanced vocabulary.

Definitions are from MDBG. For characters with additional meanings that I am not yet familiar with, I have bolded the meanings I want to share.

(1) 抢 qiǎng - to fight over / to rush / to scramble / to grab / to rob / to snatch

(2) 救 jiù - to save / to assist / to rescue

(3) 扶 fú - to support with the hand / to help sb up / to support oneself by holding onto something / to help

(4) 催 cuī - to urge / to press / to prompt / to rush sb / to hasten sth / to expedite

(5) 夹 jiā - to press from either side / to place in between / to sandwich / to carry sth under armpit / wedged between / between / to intersperse / to mix / to mingle / clip / folder / Taiwan pr. [jia2]

(6) 咬 yǎo - to bite / to nip

(7) 砸 zá - to smash / to pound / to fail / to muck up / to bungle

(8) 毁 huǐ - to destroy / to ruin / to defame / to slander

(9) 嚷 rǎng - to shout / to bellow / to make a big deal of sth / to make a fuss about sth

(10) 塞 sāi - to stop up / to squeeze in / to stuff / cork / stopper

(11) 贪 tān - to have a voracious desire for / to covet / greedy / corrupt

(12) 拆 chāi - to tear open / to tear down / to tear apart / to open

(13) 掏 tāo - to fish out (from pocket) / to scoop

(14) 跪 guì - to kneel

(15) 摘 zhāi - to take / to borrow / to pick (flowers, fruit etc) / to pluck / to select / to remove / to take off (glasses, hat etc)

(16) 拎 līn - to lift up / to carry in one's hand / Taiwan pr. [ling1]

(17) 扛 káng - to carry on one's shoulder / (fig.) to take on (a burden, duty etc)

(18) 拽 zhuài - to pull / to tug at (sth)

(19) 愣 lèng - to look distracted / to stare blankly / distracted / blank / (coll.) unexpectedly / rash / rashly

(20) 搂 lǒu - to hug / to embrace / to hold in one's arms

(21) 垮 kuǎ - to collapse (lit. or fig.)

(22) 撑 chēng - to support / to prop up / to push or move with a pole / to maintain / to open or unfurl / to fill to bursting point / brace / stay / support

(23) 甩 shuǎi - to throw / to fling / to swing / to leave behind / to throw off / to dump (sb)

(24) 围 wéi - to encircle / to surround / all around / to wear by wrapping around (scarf, shawl)

(25) 愁 chóu - to worry about

(26) 插 chā - to insert / stick in / pierce / to take part in / to interfere / to interpose

(27) 漏 lòu - to leak / to divulge / to leave out by mistake / waterclock or hourglass (old)

(28) 披 pī - to drape over one's shoulders / to open / to unroll / to split open / to spread out

(29) 歇 xiē - to rest / to take a break / to stop / to halt / (dialect) to sleep / a moment / a short while

(30) 抄 chāo - to make a copy / to plagiarize / to search and seize / to raid / to grab / to go off with / to take a shortcut / to make a turning move / to fold one's arms

(31) 哼 hēng - to groan / to snort / to hum / to croon / humph!

(32) 哄 hǒng - to deceive / to coax / to amuse (a child)

(33) 啃 kěn - to gnaw / to nibble / to bite

(34) 眯 mī - to narrow one's eyes / to squint / (dialect) to take a nap

(35) 趴 pā - to lie on one's stomach / to lean forward, resting one's upper body (on a desktop etc) / (Tw) percent

(36) 揍 zòu - to hit / to beat (sb) / (coll.) to smash (sth)

(37) 蹭 cèng - to rub against / to walk slowly / (coll.) to freeload

(38) 凑 còu - to gather together, pool or collect / to happen by chance / to move close to / to exploit an opportunity

(39) 敲 qiāo - to hit / to strike / to tap / to rap / to knock / to rip sb off / to overcharge

(40) 滑 huá - to slip / to slide / slippery / smooth / sly / slippery / not to be trusted

(41) 碎 suì - to break down / to break into pieces / fragmentary

(42) 盯 dīng - to watch attentively / to fix one's attention on / to stare at / to gaze at

(43) 塌 tā - to collapse / to droop / to settle down

(44) 背 bēi - to be burdened / to carry on the back or shoulder 背 bèi - the back of a body or object / to turn one's back / to hide something from / to learn by heart / to recite from memory / unlucky (slang) / hard of hearing

(45) 数 shǔ - to count / to count as / to regard as / to enumerate (sb's shortcomings)

(46) 按 àn - to press / to push / to leave aside or shelve / to control / to restrain / to keep one's hand on / to check or refer to / according to / in the light of / (of an editor or author) to make a comment

(47) 压 yā - to press / to push down / to keep under (control) / pressure

(48) 亲 qīn - parent / one's own (flesh and blood) / relative / related / marriage / bride / close / intimate / in person / first-hand / in favor of / pro- / to kiss / (Internet slang) dear

(49) 补 bǔ - to repair / to patch / to mend / to make up for / to fill (a vacancy) / to supplement

(50) 舔 tiǎn - to lick / to lap

(51) 拼 pīn - to piece together / to join together / to stake all / adventurous / at the risk of one's life / to spell

(52) 埋 mái - to bury

(53) 抖 dǒu - to tremble / to shake out / to reveal / to make it in the world

(54) 涂 tú - to apply (paint etc) / to smear / to daub / to blot out / to scribble / to scrawl / (literary) mud / street

(55) 抹 mǒ - to smear / to wipe / to erase / classifier for wisps of cloud, light-beams etc

(56) 吞 tūn - to swallow / to take

(57) 拦 lán - to block sb's path / to obstruct / to flag down (a taxi)

(58) 露 lòu - to show / to reveal / to betray / to expose 露 lù - dew / syrup / nectar / outdoors (not under cover) / to show / to reveal / to betray / to expose

(59) 滚 gǔn - to boil / to roll / to take a hike / Get lost!

(60) 扣 kòu - to fasten / to button / button / buckle / knot / to arrest / to confiscate / to deduct (money) / discount / to knock / to smash, spike or dunk (a ball) / to cover (with a bowl etc) / (fig.) to tag a label on sb / (Tw) (loanword) code

(61) 夸 kuā - to boast / to exaggerate / to praise

(62) 挥 huī - to wave / to brandish / to command / to conduct / to scatter / to disperse

(63) 求 qiú - to seek / to look for / to request / to demand / to beseech

(64) 吸 xī - to breathe / to suck in / to absorb / to inhale

(65) 响 xiǎng - echo / sound / noise / to make a sound / to sound / to ring / loud / classifier for noises

(66) 擦 cā - to wipe / to erase / rubbing (brush stroke in painting) / to clean / to polish

(67) 踩 cǎi - to step on / to tread / to stamp / to press a pedal / to pedal (a bike) / (online) to downvote

(68) 撕 sī - to tear

(69) 扫 sǎo - to sweep

(70) 锁 suǒ - to lock / to lock up / a lock (CL:把)

(71) 扎 zhā - to prick / to run or stick (a needle etc) into / mug or jug used for serving beer (loanword from "jar")

(72) 撞 zhuàng - to knock against / to bump into / to run into / to meet by accident

(73) 追 zhuī - to chase / to pursue / to look into / to investigate / to reminisce / to recall / to court (one's beloved) / to binge-watch (a TV drama) / retroactively / posthumously

(74) 抽 chōu - to draw out / to pull out from in between / to remove part of the whole / (of certain plants) to sprout or bud / to whip or thrash

(75) 删 shān - to delete

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borderlinereminders · 2 years

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you push so much about self soothing instead of getting reassurance from people. are you saying that it's not ok to get reassurance from others? because that sounds pretty toxic

Hi anon,

I'm really sorry to give off that impression. That's not at all what I meant to convey. What I'm trying to suggest is that before asking for reassurance, we first try and self-soothe.

The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both ends because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."

My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling, to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Some examples.

Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.

Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.

If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy.

ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.

TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.

If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.

If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".

It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.

For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.

You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.

This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.

If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."

TLDR: I don't think it's never okay to ask for reassurance, I just think it's important to self-soothe and not bombard people for reassurance because that can put strain on your relationships in the long-term.

#april answers #faq

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meafortuna · 1 year

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ASTRO NOTES #6

I’m not a professional astrologer, part of the things are just my observations. Enjoy it! 🫶

• Okay, hear me out… the most underrated house imo is the 6th house. 🔮 The sixth house it’s one of the most intuitive and let me tell you why i think like that - as we know it is ruled by Virgo, which represents the virgin and you know there is nothing more innocent than a child or a virgin, because they are so pure and that’s why they have very strong intuition. Next one 6th house = 6th sense. Virgo is responsible for our digestive system and that lead me to that phrase “trust your gut”. Also 6th is the opposite house of 12th, and 12th house it’s about intuition too, but maybe more like dreams, psychic thoughts, on the other hand the sixth house intuition comes from the body, as i said strong gut feeling. And last, but not least, take a look at the “6” you will see how that circle in “6” seems like the belly in the human body and what represents Virgo again - our digestive system, which is known as our second brain. So don’t ever underestimate a Virgo/6th house placemants, they can read any person or situation like a book, not just because they are ruled by Mercury, but also because they have that gift from the mother nature.

• Venus conjunct Saturn, Venus Rx and Venus at 29 degree may have same experience in love, seems like they always end up with karmic lessons in their love life. Also if the conjunction between Venus and Saturn is in 12th house can represent some disfunction when it comes to s*x.🪐❤️‍🩹

• Libra rising is one of the most beautiful rising sign, what a bless, huh? 💄But there is a big price that comes with that, because of their Aries ruling 7th house seems like these natives always find partners with anger issues or some kind of more dominant, which is not so good, because most of the times Libra have problem with boundaries and saying "no", but that’s not the only “bad” thing. They have Capricorn IC, which is known for burdened childhood. And Cancer MC, which is soo sweet, they always want to take care for the others and people often find comfort in their presence, but because of their empathetic nature other can take easily atvantage of them. ⚖️

• The most private house is the 4th house. The 4th house is under the horizon, so that make the native with planets in 4th more secretive than those with 8/12 house placements, yes they are private too, but in a different kind of way. You know how people say "You don't really know a person until you live with him" and what else represent 4th house - home, i guess that’s the only way to really get to know 4th houser, to became a part of their family circle or to start live with them, which is not that easy.🛖🪴

• If someone have Pluto or Saturn that makes transit through their 12th house, they can have that feeling like they are losing their mind, can be very hard and draining for the native. 🫥😵‍💫

• Scorpio in big 3 and their stare. For example: my bf (Scorpio asc) doing something like cooking or gaming and all of the time i’m (Scorpio Moon) like 👁️, and sometimes doesn’t even watch at him, it’s something more like staring trough him. Yes, sometimes i look at him in that way, because i admire him, but most of the times no. And he does just the same with me, when i have been cleaning or whatever. It’s crazy. 😁 Not without a reason plutonian placements are famous with their intense and sometimes intimidating look/eyes. I think it’s because of their sense for acknowledging everything in depth, something more on subconscious level, not because they are doing it on purpose. 🦂

• I don’t want to be rude, but Aquarius Moon in fire dominant chart are one of the most egoistic people out there, sorry not sorry. 👻

• Lilith conjunct MC/square/opposite Asc it’s an aspect that can’t stand unseen. Because the raw power of the Moon it’s in a public house or make an aspect to 1st house, which is about ourselves, our look and etc. People with this position of Lilith often can feel like “all eyes on them” and the truth is how other sees them depends on the energy they give of. If the native feels good today people will be watching at them, because of their positive vibe, but if they are in a bad mood, people will look at them with some kind of embarrassment. Their appearance may not in any way suggest what mood they are in, but the energy they radiate is very powerful. 💥🔥

~meafortuna 💙

#astroblr #astrology #astro community #astro observations #astro posts #aquarius #scorpio #virgo #libra

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mtkay13 · 4 months

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The peach blossoms are blooming

Lol @the fancy title, haha. Yesterday I promised "two hoboxu's today!" but I'm an inconsistant liar so the second is today and not yesterday, HAH.

Anyway, another painting of my very beloved; more about this piece below!

So aside of the obvious joke, what I really wanted to work on and represent on this picture is, as the title makes it clearer, grief, and what it looks like for ZZS.

The idea came from imagining ZZS setting off, happy with his disguise, and passing by a peach tree orchards and seeing all the peach blossoms blooming, and what it would entail.

...So let's talk about what TYK is about again, shall we?

(usual caveat: those are my thoughts and interpretations etc etc)

Little is known of the four years that separate the end of QY and the beginning of TYK. Even less is obviously stated when it comes to the reasons why ZZS has put in the nails, besides the obvious "requirement to leave Tian Chuang" part.

So, trying to leave all headcanons and other suppositions aside, and looking at what the text gives us, one of the main "storylines" of ZZS' personal journey across both books seems to be: dealing with the loss of LJX, first of their relationship, and later, of LJX entirely.

>I'm going to boldly announce that (I think) TYK is in great parts a story about getting over grief, or rather, properly living with grief.

Needless to say that it is clear that ZZS has a bunch of issues he's dealing with, including "the void after meeting your goals; what's next?" and some form of burnout from completely over-exerting himself and going way beyond what he thought he could sustain mentally; but also. Four years after he lost LJX, ZZS is still deeply grieving. Still seeing him in crowds, still thinking about him frequently, still hallucinating him, dreaming of him. He couldn't resist taking in ZCL because ZCL reminded him of LJX. Nearly every single thought of his own past ends up rooting back to LJX.

The first time he mentions LJX's name out loud in TYK, chapter 41, is the first time he mentions it at all in four years, and to quote the text:

Speaking out his name hadn't been that big of a deal, in the end; it had only felt like something had been pulled out of his chest—like he was now missing a piece, like it left behind an empty void.

(TYK ch41, TL by me)

The next scene is when it hits ZZS that he's going to die; from that moment on, ZZS starts feeling stupid, ZZS slowly starts wanting to find a solution, influenced by WKX... and the story culminates with ZZS making the opposite decision that he made in QY: instead of risking never seeing WKX alive again, and against WKX's decision, he goes to meet him, unlike LJX whom he was too scared to go meet, and lost forever without even saying goodbye.

>I think that ZZS essentially took the nails because he couldn't manage to live with that grief, basically. (I know, I KNOW there are other reasons, but for the sake of analyzing this theme, I find interesting to look at it from this angle; how the narrative shifts towards ZZS putting in the efforts to stay alive at the exact same times he starts letting go of LJX literally.) And then, as he learns, as he rediscovers life differently, the story becomes about getting free from the nails, about actially living with that grief rather than dying because of it.

*coughs* so, hum, yes. This is what I wanted to represent. What grief looks like, at this stage of melancholic, happy, self-deprecating acceptance of freedom through death—freedom of the burden of grief and guilt. It's a bittersweet feeling, but the way I see it, he smiles out of what he thinks is inner peace, resignation, and once again, self-deprecation.

I would go even deeper, in that ZZS' relationship to death with regards to LJX is quite complex and difficult, given how he was told by LJX himself that he ought to die for what he's done (or misunderstood LJX saying so), but that's a whole other can of worms and I don't have the brain juice to go there again (since it wouldn't even be the first time iirc). SO YEAH, again, grief, but ZZS style: turned into a bit of a melancholic, silly, but gentle joke, and with a smile on the face. On brand with TYK as well.

Cheers!

#tian ya ke #zhou zishu #liang jiuxiao #tyk #zzs #meta #qi ye

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featherwingfae · 4 months

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Gonna try to make this a "Quick post".

(warning some light swearing)

Maybe, just maybe one of the reasons we're seeing so many new Therians nowadays is because humans have fucked up the earth so bad that the universe just went fuck it and threw in a bunch of nature brains to balance things out. People who wouldn't just be able to look at the devastation of wildlife and their homes and just move on like nothing happened. Because they can see themselves in those creatures, and it hurts them to know that they are suffering. And maybe if there's enough nature brains, seeing themselves in the withering world around them, then more and more people might stand up and say this isn't right. We need to fix this. And maybe in a human world where one of the most lovely traits of humanity is being able to work together a bunch of nature brains with human faces can make a difference. They say animals can't speak human. Well they can, and are. Maybe Therians are the voices of nature coming out from the wilds, to places and bodies where they're not comfortable, where the air is heavy with pollution and trash litters the ground. And they have to learn weird shit like math, and work exhausting jobs that are often just to pay the bills that allow them to keep surviving. All so that they can see the damage from the other side and better understand the problem and together find solutions to stop it.

I'm not saying humans (and others) can't and/or dont do anything. I'm saying it's harder to do nothing when you look at creatures suffering and see yourself. Empathy is a beautiful thing. It helps connect us. But in a world where almost no one can afford the barest minimum just to survive. Where finding happiness feels like a struggle because you're constantly grinding and pushing yourself beyond your mental, emotional and/or physical boundaries, how easy is it to just shut yourself off. To put on the blinders because you're stuck yourself and you don't feel like there's anything you can do, so why upset yourself further by caring. It's sad. Terribly sad. Soul crushingly, heart wrenchingly sad.

Most people nowadays suffer from anxiety, depression or some other mental illness. And yes those illnesses are more known and understood now, and are more easily diagnosed. But I think the reason we see them everywhere now, is as simple as everyone is suffering. The human world in its current state, is not a healthy place. Fun times are often merely distraction from the crushing reality around us. It hurts to accept how much hurt there is right now.

I'm not saying it's all on the shoulders of Therians. I'm not saying you have to quit your job or your school and run off into the wild picking up every piece of litter and chaining yourself to trees. That's not what this post is about.

This post is about the increase of Therians and my personal hypothesis as to why there's so many now. And it's as simple as this. One Therian does not shoulder all the burden of the earth. Just as one human does not. But if there are Therians in schools, going "hey look at this little/big guy isn't he cute/cool" showing their friends and classmates"it's so sad he's going extinct because his home is being destroyed" , Therians on trails, streets, beaches seeing litter and using just a little bit of their time to remove at least some of it. Therians in stores refusing to buy certain products because of animal cruelty/testing, Therians manifesting/praying to help even if it's just a little bit, Therians on the Internet/TV spreading awareness, Therians in government actually trying to do what's best for the environment and the people, instead of just what's best for their bank account etc etc.

In reference to that horrible math stuff, a million ones together doesn't equal nothing. No matter how small an act it still adds up to something. Therians everywhere means more people who can't forget, who can't move on, who can't just shutdown and hope for the best. People who feel like they have to do something. So they don't eventually see themselves disappear (go extinct).

The universe and the earth can sometimes have a funny way of balancing things out. Maybe Therians are one way to at least try regaining that balance.

I'm overjoyed to see more Therians. Because I feel like more Therians means more voices for nature, and more chances to save this beautiful planet ☺️✨🌍🌎🌏💚

Anyway that's my two cents. Sorry this post ended up being longer than I intended 😅

And now my fascinating and fantastic creatures, great and small, furry, feathered, scaled or whatever-ed, and all others of open mind who took time to read my ramblings, I wish upon you a most glorious day/night. May we all follow our hearts/souls to do what we feel we can for this magnificent planet. ✨

👁️🪽✨🌟🌱❄️🪻🍀🌎🍄🌹💚🌍🌵🌈⛈️🌠🦊🐁💙

Till next time

#nonhuman #nature #otherkin #therian #therianthropy #stop therian hate #alterhuman #alterhuman community #kintypes #Therians For Nature #otherkin thoughts #alterhuman things #faerie kin #fae kin #Fae kin thoughts #Therian love

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martinsharmony · 5 months

Text

In defense of RP Shipping and RP Fiction

I don’t normally come out and give my opinion on things like this so plainly about such controversial things. I tend to shy away from confrontational writing such as this. However this idea has been brewing in my mind for some time now so I had to write it.

I am a Real Person Shipper.

I’m seeing people talk a lot more about RP shipping (and the hate towards it) since David Tennant and Michael Sheen appeared smiling at each other in a photo after David's appearance in Macbeth.

RP Shipping is not a choice.

When I caught the shipping bug, it hit me like lightning. It occurred to me one night as I lay in bed next to the husband with which I had a deteriorating relationship: “are there stories about Dave Gahan and Martin Gore…being together??”

Dave Gahan/Martin Gore (Gahore) are in Depeche Mode. They were my 1st ship as an adult. You can read about it here. Obviously Depeche Mode is a band so there is no fictional narrative anywhere to follow. I quickly learned that RP shipping was taboo. However in my shipping community we all shipped the band so I was more or less insulated from it.

I dove in headfirst. I literally couldn’t not do it. It was something my brain needed. Sure I could have forced myself to not go look for it because of some kind of moral (?) imperative which I wasn’t even aware of at the time, but even if I stopped myself, that would not stop my brain from wanting it. Making up stories and scenarios. Finding evidence in videos, songs, interviews, etc. I shipped these two people because of what I had observed between them.

I saw love. So did my shipping friends. We all saw it. I needed to experience it. My life lacked it.

My next RP ship was Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch (FreeBatch). First I fell in love with Sherlock and John, obviously. But then as I started to follow the fandom, I started noticing the same things that others noticed. My brain just went there. I literally had no choice. It’s not as if I could tell my brain “don’t do that”. It would not listen. You can’t tell a starving person to not think about food. In fact telling them that probably makes it worse.

In my personal life, I had been through a breakup with the man I dated after I got divorced, and then I began dating a woman for the 1st time. I really started to relate what I was seeing on the screen and reading on Tumblr and in fic to my own life. I was starting to process my own bisexuality. I started to notice things about Martin and Ben that other people were noticing too. Shipping them helped me navigate that time in my life because I saw myself in it. I related to it. But it wasn't a choice. My brain just went there. Maybe I was Baader-Meinhoffing but even if I was, that doesn’t mean it’s something I didn’t need to explore, work out in my mind, and discover.

Shennant (Michael Sheen and David Tennant) is my 3rd RP ship. Yes I fell in love with Aziraphale and Crowley of course, but again, as I started to follow the fandom and David’s and Michael’s careers specifically, watching interviews, watching Staged, etc, I started noticing the same thing that many others noticed. I literally couldn’t help it. My brain, again, just went there. Also in Staged of course, they play themselves. I have to say that my RP Shipping really took off after I watched them in that. They play themselves. Their actual partners are in it. If one were to write Staged fic, is that not RPF? Where is the line between what is supposed to be okay and what is not?

Again, with this ship, I had big things going on in my personal life. Dad passed away almost a year and a half ago, and now I'm taking care of my elderly mom long distance. It's a huge emotional burden. I'm not dating anyone right now mostly because of that but also because I was in a poly relationship with the male half of a het married couple (longtime friends of mine) that ended extraordinarily painfully (so this was V or chain-style poly not group-sex poly). Since then I've been alone for more than 2 years. I'm still getting over it.

The love I see between Michael and David feels unconditional. I see adoration. If they are indeed in a healthy poly relationship, my god, how on earth did they do that? Even while navigating fame? It’s certainly a lot more difficult than my own situation. I can explore it: What kind of person feels safe to me the way I believe David feels safe with Michael? What kind of relationship can withstand the kind of obstacles they (and I) might face? What would have had to actually happened for them to be as happy as they seem to be? What discussions were had? What agreements were reached? How does one do this the right way? What does that tell me about my own relationship and what went wrong? What should have happened?

This is, in its most academic sense, a tool for my brain to heal and to discover what kind of a relationship I want. And my brain knows it. That’s why it ships. My heart doesn’t know that. It just knows I love seeing them happy together. This is the magnet that drew me.

RP Shipping helps us to work shit out in our personal lives.

I bought Spark edited by Atlin Merrick recently. One of the essays by Angela Nauss, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) really stood out to me is titled Sympathy for the Devil: Attachment Theory and FanFiction.

The article is about fanfiction authors, however I would extrapolate this to include readers and RP Shippers as well. RP Shippers are authors of narratives in their own mind, even if they are not always written down.

From the book:

“Fanfiction authors process attachment wounds using fictional characters as proxies…to process and understand the origin of the problems encountered during adolescence.”

“Some authors write fanfiction to humanize uncomfortable aspects of their identity, grieve and repair damaged relationships, and process attachment wounds…by exploring how the character would behave in adaptive relationships.”

“Fanfiction authors project their unconscious trauma onto the characters.”

“The characters gain insight into their behavior and no longer feel responsible for their childhood attachment wounds. Through their writing, the author incorporates repressed trauma and attachment wounds into their conscious experience and achieves catharsis.”

“Writing fanfiction is a valid form of therapeutic self-exploration.”

I’ve been in therapy for several years, In fact the poly relationship I was in is why I seeked out therapy in the 1st place. I know that shipping these people, exploring aspects of that, is helping me to heal attachment wounds and the trauma caused by past relationships.

As part of my healing from this poly relationship I was in, I intend to write a meta and/or a fic about David and Michael. I know it will aid in my healing. I may or may not post it.

Also, even Shakespeare wrote RPF.

I’m seeing people say that we RP Shippers are terrible, immoral, disgusting, gross people and that we want David and Michael to leave their partners. That we want to break up their families. Let me be clear that I want nothing of the sort.

There are people out there that want to "protect" them from this “immorality” by shaming us, berating us, calling us names. Even sending certain blogs directly to Georgia and Anna! This is the exact opposite of what actions like this are actually doing. This does not protect them from harm. It creates it.

There is no such thing as thought crime.

Not only is it impossible for me to choose not to ship these people, but I also get the sense that even thinking about it is supposed to be wrong. That it makes me an immoral person.

Something I keep seeing is that people are so upset that we RP Shippers are doing this. Like, why don’t we just, stop. Just look at all the other appropriate characters that are out there to ship! Or just never start in the first place. As if this was a choice we are making to consciously ship real people.

When shippers ship a couple, do they choose that couple consciously? Do they say, hmm, I'm going to ship X person and Y person because it's...logical? Or for whatever consciously thought of reason? I'm going to go out on a limb and speak for mostly all shippers and say no. Shippers ship because we see something in those 2 characters that we are drawn to like magnets, for whatever reason. Real People included. If you're on Tumblr for a fandom and read fic, you know what I'm talking about.

Male/Male relationships is a fetish, or a kink, for me. And by extension, RPS/RPF as well. I do enjoy thinking about what might be the "reality" behind the curtain that we are shown as part of their public personas. This is part of the ingredients to this fetish, or kink, for me.

Kink is defined by Wikipedia as “the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a “bend” (a “kink”) in one’s sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with “straight” or “vanilla” sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour.”

A fetish is defined by Wikipedia as referring “to any sexually arousing stimuli, not all of which meet the medical criteria for fetishism. This broader usage of fetish covers parts or features of the body (including obesity and body modifications), objects, situations and activities (such as smoking or BDSM).”

Generally, modern sexual health thinking seems to say “So long as your fetish doesn’t get in the way of your own well-being, the safety of others, and your partners participate enthusiastically, there is nothing wrong with it.”

It seems to be another taboo to claim gay (or bi/pansexual) men as a fetish, or a kink. There are some who claim that it’s objectifying the very real experiences of gay men. I struggle with this because I can't deny that I enjoy it but I also don't want to hurt anyone.

I am not a gay man. I will never be a gay man. I am a cis bisexual woman. I can never know what that experience is like. This is, in essence, the core of the fantasy. It can feel as good and perfect and romantic and loving as I want it to be because I don’t have the parts or experience to know it first hand. Therefore I've come to the conclusion that my thoughts in my head and anything I write down in a safe space does not hurt anyone. For me personally, it’s a way to disconnect from myself. People enjoy fic for all sorts of reasons. I shouldn’t have to prove that my reasons are "wholesome" to be allowed to enjoy it.

I don’t enjoy reading het fiction for reasons I won’t go into, however they are probably not individual to just me alone. Hoards of women like me also enjoy the same thing.

So yeah. To the surprise of absolutely no one, thinking about Michael and David, or Martin and Ben, or Dave and Martin, or men in general, kissing or having sex or a romance with each other – turns me on. That leads me to state the following:

Anti-RP Shipping and Anti-RP Fiction is kink shaming.

When I say "Anti", I'm referring to those who loudly object to it. Not those who (thankfully) say "that's not for me" and move on. Just like I would with say, Omegaverse.

Because my interpretation of these real people is in reality, “fiction” in my own head, then by definition all RP Shipping is RP Fiction. It cannot be reality because I don’t know them. Therefore any stories, speculation, comments, analysis, conclusions, art, etc, IS ALL FICTION.

Real people are characters to your brain.

Obviously I don’t know them personally, so anything that I were to believe or create in my head about them is by definition, fiction. My brain makes it up according to what I’ve seen, read, heard, observed and drew conclusions from. This creates a fictional reality for my brain to consume. It can’t be reality because I don’t know them.

Wikipedia says RPF writers are “building a fictional universe based on the supposed real-life histories of their idols. Information from interviews, documentaries, music videos, and other publicity sources are assimilated into the stories. It is also very popular to write fiction about celebrity couples. Communities of writers build collective archetypes based on the celebrities' public personas".

I would never, under any circumstances, present any RPS/RPF questions, stories, insinuations, or even mention it at all directly to the actors/musicians/personalities or their partners or even anyone associated with them. I would be beyond embarrassed to do so. Even though Michael himself seems to be accepting of it, I would never present it to him. Never. (I mean it’s not like I could really anyway but still).

I believe that 99.9% of RP Shippers would do the same. It’s the .01% that have done so (and unscrupulous “journalists” looking to shock by asking questions/showing them the RPF, and those people claiming to prevent harm by sending it directly to them “for legal action” or tattletale “look at what these terrible people are doing” and blaming the RP shippers for creating it – wow talk about projection) -that make a bad name for us all. Showing it to them and asking them about it IS a choice.

If RP Shipping is not a choice, a way to work out personal mental health issues, is fictional by definition, and a non-pathological aid to sexual excitement that hurts no one if it is contained within safe spaces such as fic sites and Tumblr, then what exactly is the harm?

Tumblr is a safe space.

Why is there such vitriol against RP Shipping and RPF? You claim to be protecting the actors or people in question, but by raising your voices so loudly in various ways, you are harming the very person you claim to be protecting. I think you have to ask what it is within yourself that makes you so aggressively hate this? Why can't we just say "that's not for me" and move on?

Don't we on Tumblr and on AO3 celebrate non-mainstream ideas such as this? Or if not celebrate, at least live and let live. The fact is that Tumblr is supposed to be a safe space. I should feel safe speaking my mind here. I know quite a few RP shippers follow me so I don't feel completely alone, but I don't feel entirely safe posting this.

My morality is not yours to police.

I strongly doubt I’ll be changing anyone’s mind with this. If you’re Anti RP shipping and Anti RPF you’re probably going to stay that way.

Don’t like, don’t read.

You can unfollow, block people, block tags, filter tags on AO3...any number of things. Think of it like a trigger. Just please don't spew hate.

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dryococelas01 · 1 year

Text

As a worm fan I have to speak up about the best character in worm, the greatest hero in worm, a tragic and severely underappreciated character (I've seen like 1 fanfic with him in. And it was a pretty mediocre one imo) and a character I seem to be the only fan of.

The most powerful man in the world. Kevin Norton.

This is gonna be a big ramble and I have not planned this out and it's gonna contain a shit ton of worm spoilers so ignore if you don't want to be spoiled.

And considering its involved in his backstory, trigger warning for homophobia, rape, homelessness, and partner abuse.

Kevin Norton, unhoused gay English man.

We get 2 versions of Kevin's backstory, the one he tells Lisette and the one from scions interlude.

I'm pulling this from memory so please forgive me for errors.

To her he says essentially he went to college, got a girlfriend. Lived with her for a while, and eventually realised he was gay. When he informed his girlfriend it didn't go well, got abusive, and eventually he left, to live on the streets. There he, eventually, found Scion (and Duke, his dog, the more important character). Scion at the time wasn't exactly a hero. He had healed Vikare and his sister and he definitely wasn't a villain, he just sortof floated around. Kevin goes off on him about all Kevin's been through, how dare he look sad etc. And tells him to help people. And Scion listens, and begins to help. Later he meets with Scion a few more times, to talk to him.

Then there's scions interlude. Its about the same, with one slight difference. He explicitly mentions that he has been raped. I don't believe, off the top of my head, that it's made explicit it was his former girlfriend, but l feel that's very obvious.

I live in Britain, and I've seen a lot of people on the streets like Kevin. I doubt any of them are talking to alien god beings but many of them are on the streets for very similar reasons to Kevin. LGBTQ+ people get kicked out a lot when they come out, many do end up on the street like Kevin when the homophobia from their family or partners becomes too much. There are also a lot of people with abusive partners who end up on the street, or who, upon realising they are LGBTQ+, get a very negative response.

He is a character who's suffering a lot. But, and I don't phrase it like this to minimise it, it is a mundane sort of suffering. He didn't end up on the street because Behemoth sent a lightning bolt through his house, or the slaughterhouse nine altered his face to look like Jack Slashes, or even a possible but still unusual form of suffering like Taylors locker.

The tale of Kevin Norton (minus scion) is one that no doubt countless people are going through now. And I know it's kinda tiring that a lot of stories of LGBTQ+ people revolve around our suffering, but idk, I'm fine with it here.

And yet, and this is the thing that sticks in my brain and makes him so intriguing to me, he doesn't ask Scion to fix it. Kevin Norton dies of a disease (cant remember which), and he knows Scion could cure it. The first thing he did was cure a man's cancer. And Scion could easily give him whatever he needs to live, whether directly with his powers or by just yknow, asking Scion to take him to a nearby hero team and going 'hey, I command Scion and made him a hero, I've saved millions of lives through this, can I have a house'.

So... why doesn't Kevin ask for that.

There's 2 answers I can think of, the selfless (but still kinda depressing) and the full on depressing.

The first is that he recognises scion has so many people to save and doesn't want him wasting time he could be spending saving 10 peoples lives to help him live better. In this interpretation, Kevin has made his peace with living on the street, and with his eventual death.

The second is that Kevin Norton is tired. He has suffered a lot, he has lived on the street for years, he has borne the emotional burden of being the man who commands the strongest hero in the world, and he has discovered that he could have done so much more, if he had just phrased things differently. In this interpretation, Kevin Norton just doesn't want to go on.

There's other possible interpretations, but in truth I think it lies somewhere between these.

There's something tragic about him that captures me. The greatest hero in the world, who has likely saved more people than any member of the triumvirate, and he likely dies alone, bar perhaps his dog, with only one other person knowing what he did. His last act as a hero, is to pass on the torch, an act he clearly feels guilty about, knowing the burden its been for him.

And that's captivating to me. And I don't know if I've even fully explained why.

I like to think he died after hearing of Behemoths death. He would know he had fixed his mistake, and performed a last, great act of heroism.

And there's something to say about how, for only a small kindness of money and a few minutes, he made Lisette the most powerful woman in the world. I try, when I can, to give money and time to the people I see on the streets. But I don't always have money, or time, and whenever I walk away I always feel a great amount of guilt. I'd like to think the little helps I give make as big an impact as Lisettes to Kevin's, but I doubt it. We don't have alien god beings.

Perhaps his rant to Scion was unfair. He didn't know Scions perspective or history. Scion could have suffered a lot. But it was very real. An outburst of a man so powerless and suffering to one who seems to have all the power in the world and is doing nothing with it. There's something about that that resonates with me, despite having had a pretty privileged life myself.

Speaking of privilege, this is sortof a tacked on note but there's something interesting to note about the stories 2 more impactful (in setting) gay male characters.

We have Legend and Norton.

Legend has a lot of power and influence, he has a husband and an adopted son. He definitely suffers from homophobia, not taking that away from him, but he lives pretty well. His suffering doesn't come from his living situation, but from external forces: Endbringers, supervillains, the weight of the entity over his head, the lies of his teammates etc. He has done good. He has saved many.

Norton suffers because of his living situation. He suffers very directly from homophobia, as essentially the cause of his living situation. Other than Scion he likely hasn't really been directly impacted by Cape stuff much. He has done good, he has saved many.

They both have such drastically opposite lives, and you can see it in their relationship to the being that plays an important part in both their stories. Scion. To Kevin he's a seemingly mentally broken man who has saved thousands under his direction. To Legend he's a Venus fly trap, an entity appearing heroic waiting to destroy hundreds.

Under a certain perspective, you could argue both are right.

You could also make a point about how privilege can shield you from some of the worst impacts of homophobia and seeing that by comparing them etc etc but I find such conversations often end up being very dismissive and suffering Olympicsy, and don't feel entirely qualified to talk about it as I am a not out trans woman, not a gay man, and only know about that effect of privilege in relation to homophobia second hand, from discussions other people have had. If other people want to talk about that who have more experience there, feel free.

There's more to say about these two characters, but I can't grasp it right now.

One last point I want to make.

Fiction... does not treat people living on the streets very well. It would have been very easy to have Kevin being a raving man, wearing a tinfoil hat and ranting about how powerful he is. And many other stories would have.

And to a degree, he does initially come off as such, and it appears that Lisette, for a moment, thinks he is after hearing him talk about being The Most Powerful Man and so on.

But he isn't. We get in his head and he's never treated as anything but a human being in a terrible situation.

I don't know what else to say about this part of it other than that his interlude is very well done, and while there's a lot you can, and people have, say about how Wildbow handles certain subjects, I think he did well here.

Also he has a cute loyal dog and one of the best interludes in worm.

I stan Kevin Norton

#worm web serial #wildbow #parahumans #worm parahumans #wormblr #worm #Kevin norton #worm scion #scion

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kaftan · 7 months

Text

Some Notes on Arcs 18-20

(Long post! Here there be ramblings! Sorry)

- I forgot this was an arc 18 moment till I checked — Taylor feeling seduced (her words) by Dinah’s power, longing to hold on to her despite her mission being to free her… goosebumps. I love how the villains she hates rub off on her, worm (ha) into her.

- And then describing the act of returning her to her home as throwing away a resource… something that felt dumb to do… being proven right, in a sense, in arc 20, when it comes back to bite her… I’m reminded of some dialogue from animorphs that I’ll have to paraphrase, something about how what matters isn’t what’s right or wrong, it’s what’s expedient. Taylor isn’t all the way there yet, but feels like a matter of time.

- More on Taylor and morality: it’s fascinating to see her go through the same rough trajectory for every major battle — she starts from her baseline, being disturbed at the notion of seriously hurting or killing anyone, slowly numbs that sentiment with plenty of half-hearted strands of reasoning, eventually escalates to the point of cold-blooded violence or the enablement of such… and feels nothing. “Dissociation as an integral aspect of being” moment!

- I love Jessica Yamada. Not enough to read Ward, I have my limits. Getting a better perspective on the “all Amy’s horses and all Amy’s men couldn’t put Victoria back together again” situation was a treat. I love the horror elements in Worm. I love the horror of having the face of your trauma etched into the folds of your brain.

- Met Sveta! People on tumblr namedrop her a lot, to the point where I wondered if she’d been introduced before and I forgot. She’s a darling.

- Lily’s meltdown about Skitter… you can’t even look straight at her without feeling your skin crawl ❤️ but she sounds idealistic and naive even with cockroaches and bees crawling over her face ❤️ she starts making sense ❤️

- [Trickster voice] my beautiful gamer princess with a disorder… talk to me…

- This quote here:

“I mentioned it in passing to Miss Militia,” I said, “Better that you tell the truth and say we pushed hard for it. Blame me.”

“No,” Regent said, “Blame me.”

I shot him a look, and he shrugged. “Just wanted to get in on the fun,” he said.

says so much about Alec, lmao. It flagged in my brain because it’s the second time I’ve consciously noted it: his jokes about wanting to be included speak volumes. The truth he does not dare to know, etc etc

- Taylor “we cannot rule out human sacrifice” Hebert

- Marissa: She’s my friend. / Taylor: Was. It’s a big difference. Fast forward: Emma interlude, crossing paths at Arcadia. I love storytelling.

- Speaking of the Emma interlude: reading about Taylor’s bullying always makes me feel queasy; this was bone nausea on a deep level. What happened to Taylor is like if your worst fears about other people came true. You know, the nagging worry that you’re a burden, that a late text means I don’t want to be your friend. The worry that any reasonable person will tell you to ignore. How the fuck do you come back from living that nightmare?

Reminds me of Amy, how what happened to her is like if your worst fears about yourself came true.

- Everyone always talks about Taylor’s repressed rage but holy shit her repressed rage. What a character. What a character. I love her fantasies of violence. I love how much she basks in that meager catharsis.

- There’s something beautiful about how effortless the supervillain persona is for Taylor. (Every you is the real you, you are the mask and the wearer, etc.) Her standoff against Dragon and Defiant might be one of my favorite scenes yet. The perfectly affected nonchalance, the hanging threats toward hostages (becoming a theme), the mile-a-minute plotting, the grandiose gestures, the leveraging of fear… she’s a wonder and a terror.

- When she smiles and Clockbocker says “Fuck me, it just sunk in. It’s really her.” :-)))

- “and so that Defiant could make something resembling an apology as part of his twelve step assholes anonymous process” I fucking love you Taylor I love you forever

#wormblogging #LONG POST #sorry.#I am so excited for the story progression from here on out.

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johnslittlespoon · 1 month

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/johnslittlespoon/749533871172993024/tryna-study-but-puppy-bucky-brain-rot-how?source=share

ACTUALLY GOING INSANE RIGHT NOW, YOU GET IT SAM YOU GET ITTT.

I can’t believe I’m reading this at a wedding right now. I’m sitting in a corner far away from my family just in case. I may or may not be obsessing over this right now, who needs religion imma be praying to this every night.

The way Gale would never be harsh or mean to John and even when he is he never means it because he sees so much of himself in John (specifically him when he was younger) and how he knows what it feels like having a shitty dad and not feeling at home in your own house. He’d try his best to make John feel at home and safe in his house even if it does take a while. Even if sometimes John is “too much”/self-sabotaging, Gale sees through it and understands it’s just John is scared of losing him.

The way John would just walk around the house waiting for Gale to come back from work, literally trying to find anything to keep him distracted. He’d probably do some school work and if he doesn’t have any, do some housework like cook or clean the house (Like some type of housewife holyldkfijf, Gale would definitely tease him about it). And yes he would definitely raid Gale’s closet for his hoodie to chill around the house in it, maybe even fall asleep in it and Gale would come back from work to find him on the couch, hugging himself with the hoodie on. (Just imagining John’s smaller body wearing one of Gale’s big ass baggy hoodies…)

And oh how they would fight and how angsty it could get but at the end of the day both can’t be apart without each other and would eventually apologize and talk it out, how John would probably lock himself away after a fight but eventually come out and see Gale on the sofa head in hands and he’d just walk up to him and hug him. They’d stay there for hours on end just laying and cuddling and Gale would whisper sorry’s and comforting words/praises into John’s ear.

The oral cockwarming is so perfect because it lets John just relax and focus on one thing and that’s pleasuring Gale, which he loves and wants to do so badly (The people pleaser in him and also thinking it’s another reason for Gale keeping him around, whoops more angst. Obviously not the reason Gale keeps him around but John’s self-sabotaging is always there in the back of his mind.) Gale also returning the favor to John helps him see that he does love him beyond anything sexual and Gale knows this. In any situation, Gale would always show John just how much he loves him and genuinely appreciates him as a person and that he isn’t some kind of burden. The praises he whispers to John when he cockwarms him also help with that.

Anyway, *cough* *cough* can you tell I'm absolutely obsessed? Your writing and the things you come up with are just chefs kiss. Take your time and absolutely no pressure but I really can’t wait till you turn this into a full fic. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME GOTTA GO BACK TO THE WEDDING NOW <333

linked post | PLSSS at a wedding lmfaoo no but that's so real. this leaving!bikerider shit is taking over my life fml

YES EXACTLY!! to tackle the angst first: there would be sooo many dots connected with gale's own childhood/upbringing/relationship with his dad that he would see in john, and it would make him even more fiercely protective and determined to make sure he never ever makes john feel the way his dad made him feel, or how john's dad makes john feel. when he's frustrated with john, he can usually trace it back to a behaviour he himself used to do, and he can realize that it's out of insecurity, or anxiety, or fear, etc.

he knows sometimes he just has to let john push and test boundaries, because as long as he patient and proves to john he will never raise his voice, or lay a hand on him, or abandon him, john will realize that he's someone he can let his walls down with and trust fully, and over time he'll stop feeling the need to push. he just needs to be shown consistency and stability and unwavering love. :(

there's also the fact that this is john's first longterm/serious relationship outside of highschool, whereas gale's had a lot more experience and time to learn communication skills (it's something he still finds himself coming up short with a lot though).

they're on very opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to fights/arguments. for gale, some issues that might seem small/insignificant might feel really big for john; for example, the way gale words something after a long stressful day might sound at worst blunt to him, but to john it might sound like gale's being short and is angry about something john hasn't figured out yet, so then tension builds.

again, circling back round to insecurity on john's part because of how he's grown up, and circling round to gale needing to work on communication skills because he's not used to having to since he's usually on his own if he's not around friends. and yk, daddy issues on both ends lol.

i think also their ways of trying to resolve conflict would differ from each other, so it would be something they both have to learn to compromise on too. like you said, john is for sure the type to lock himself away or leave the house to get some air and calm himself down, anything he can do to self–isolate until he feels ready to talk, whereas i feel like gale is the type to either brush past it and assume it's no big deal/it'll blow over, and/or the type to want to sort things out the moment something happens, to talk it out until it's resolved. and obviously those immediate reactions to conflict kinda grate on each other, so they have to figure out how to balance things out.

but john's an easy crier and he feels just as guilty when he blows up and walks out on gale as gale does when he's too blunt or harsh when they're arguing, and neither of them can ever go to bed upset with each other. by the time john comes back home, the reflexive anger/hurt has always seeped out and made room for quiet sadness and guilt, and all he wants to do is find gale and attach himself to him and mumble his apologies and be held (and in turn have the relief of the confirmation that gale still wants to hold him.) or if john's shut himself away in the spare room or is sulking on the back porch, gale will be the one to go to him and crouch down in front of him and take his hands in his and ask what he needs, and ask if they can talk. <3

angst aside, YEAH. john doesn't mind being alone sometimes, but in general he's very social and gets his energy and good mood from being around other people, so if gale's at work and his friends are busy and he doesn't have any studying to be done, he keeps himself busy around the house (which also helps alleviate his guilt over 'intruding', or gale not letting him pay rent, because he can feel like he's making himself useful.)

and gale without a doubt teases him about it, calls him his little housewife one day when he comes home to john cooking and pounces on the way it makes john flush, wrapping his arms around him from behind and pulling him and murmuring "yeah? you like waiting for me to get home, like a cute little housepet?" and it's all banter, but it gets to both of them more than they expect. >:)

it definitely does gale in too when he sees john get comfortable enough to start stealing his clothes like that, loving how he looks in them and feeling his heart soften with the knowledge that john still wants a piece of him as close as possible when he's not with him. (he also lays john out on the couch and fucks him in nothing but gale's hoodie the first time he comes home to that <3)

and yes to the sex dynamic stuff, 100%. gale never gives john any reason to believe that he's only in it for sex, especially since gale's the one who holds off on jumping into hooking up straight away, but john does worry sometimes at the beginning until he starts to feel secure with gale. i think gale would be aware of this being a possible issue too and it would contribute to him keeping things slow at first because he wants to establish to john that he's not just a pretty body to him.

and as time goes on gale realizes how he can use stuff like gentle submission/instruction/etc like in that cockwarming drabble to get john out of his head, to help him relax, etc without directly asking john to take breaks or calm down, because john is stubborn and will work himself into the ground unless he sees that ask as something that benefits gale too. (they work on that, though.)

YEAH can you tell i'm obsessed too? this is cooked lmfaoaoo. but omg THANK U i will cry </33 i have so much fun writing all this shit out and bouncing ideas back and forth <33 i don't feel pressured dw!! i'm so excited to write the fic once i finish my current one :'-) thank you for YOUR time, hope the wedding was fun!!

#leaving bikerider au #sighghh so many good headcanons/dynamics for this au #i love me some conflict and then healthy conflict resolution <3 #and now i sleep #johnslittlespoon asks #johnslittlespoon brainrot #johnslittlespoon spicy #buckbucky

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eoieopda · 1 year

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yes, i am back yet again, but i am burdened by the 1am thoughts.

one would assume me to be my usually thirsty in the late night hours, but for once, no horny in brain so i am instead thinking of each member's love language, or if they have multiple, and how they express it exactly?

for example, if it's physical touch, would they be fine with just a consistent hand on the knee or do they need a daily cuddle sesh??

soft hours 🥹

namjoon seems like a words of affirmation kinda boi. he’s so eloquent and thoughtful when he speaks, which is part of it, but i think this esp carries over into his writing. i bet he’s big on love letters, little notes, etc. i also think he wants to be affirmed because he does sooooo much, under so much pressure, and he deserves to be told how incredible he is every five (5) seconds.

seokjin reads like quality time. i think he wants to go about his day, doing whatever (nothing flashy, just cooking, gaming, fishing, etc.) with you physically present with him, even if you don’t exchange many words in the process. he wants to be present, and he wants you present too 😭 bonus: acts of service. his line isn’t “hyung will do it” for no reason!! he wants to 💕 nurture 💕 and ✨ nest ✨.

yoongi is acts of service, for sure. he doesn’t necessarily vibe with expressing love in words, so he’ll show it. and fuck, does he ever??? thoughtful gestures without any expectation of reciprocation, or wanting to be told thank you. the boy wants to take care of you, okay??? let him 😩 he feels full just watching you eat 🫠

hoseok is physical touch, i think. very affectionate, wants to feel tethered and safe. you can go out and do literally anything, he’s down, just make sure to (at least) keep your pinkies locked. oh, and he is ABSOLUTELY the type to put his hand in your back pocket. not even flirtatiously (although, let’s be real, it often is) but because that 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 closeness. he’s either sitting under or on you — who needs their own couch cushion? not him!!

jimin is quality time. he’s somebody that shows up for people, without fail, and that’s how you know he loves you. and that’s not just attending xyz thing that matters to you, it’s remembering the little shit you say in passing and taking it to heart, and not forgetting things that matter. dude wants a whole ass partnership based on this, i know it. bonus: words of affirmation. he’s also extreeeeemely well-spoken and emotionally intelligent, so he loves deep, deep talks about… everything.

taehyung is receiving gifts. not material stuff, though he is a certified fashion heux. dude dies when you present him with some lil trinket that you give to him and say it reminded you of him, of some lil memory that he might assume you’d forgotten because it was so quick/ordinary, whatever. and i bet he cries when you tell him why you’ve given him xyz item, even if it’s just a cool rock you found that you wanted to show him asdfghjkl. he absolutely shows love this way, on top of physical touch.

jungkook is ABSOLUTELY quality time. he wants so badly for you to be there when he’s sleeping so he doesn’t have to sleep alone, even if you’re awake. somebody to keep him company when he’s up too late, or doing mundane tasks around the house. bby girl gets lonely easily, i think. you don’t have to talk, just be there.

#jade speaks #bonne!#moots #bts #bts headcanons

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haven-of-dusk · 6 months

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Time for more theories about EJ...

So he only appears in two episodes of S4 and has...very different looks in each. At first one might just think of the 4x5 appearance as a more dusty college look (colleges, especially big colleges, do not care one iota about your appearance), but...the second is going to his old high school for a musical performance to support his friends and family. There clearly isn't a dress code or anything, and more notably to my detail obsessed brain, he made a point to style his hair up.

Maybe it was intended as an innocuous detail to harken back to the first two seasons, but from a character standpoint, why would he do that? He's clearly comfortable letting it sit naturally, so why bother for that event? Thus: theory that EJ feels the need to 'perform' for the Wildcats. He puts on the image of himself they're 'used to' from when he was in school, styles his hair that way, dresses with a button up in place of a more comfy outfit, etc. His insecurities are such that he can't let on to his old friends that anything is wrong or he's anything less than 'same old EJ'. It's Hella depressing, but it feels accurate somehow.

Bonus that he wasn't as uptight about himself around Ricky, almost as though he trusts Ricky enough to let his guard down, almost as though he cares more for Ricky than the others...I'm a Caswen shipper starved for content, what can I say?

Anyway, it's just more content as to EJ mastering masking his depression because he feels as though he'd be burdening the people who care about him otherwise. This man needs ten billion hugs, a boatload of therapy, and preferably a boyfriend named Richard who will dote on him till the sun explodes.

Plus, y'know, would've been a cool concept to explore in S4, college students masking depression and insecurity around their old high school. But het romance #6, pointless Freshman character, and biphobia were all far more important plotlines, right?

#hsmtmts #ej caswell #matt cornett #tangent but his hair is so attractive no matter how it's styled #the fact he makes depression hot is mindblowing #marry me dear husband...#mine

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fromtenthousandfeet · 11 days

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I don’t disagree with most of what you said in your last post, and for the most part blame Bang PD and Hybe for everything leading up to where we are now. The only thing I don’t really understand is that it’s been proven that MHJ was trying to make it so that they were more independent from Hybe and thus Hybe would not actually gain from New Jeans success. Ador/MHJ/NJ’s clearly were not on board for bringing in more for Hybe to ease BTS’s burden, so why give them that credit? From what I can tell, if they had it their way BTS would not benefit from them doing well at all. Criticize Hybe as much as you want, and I’ll be there nodding my head, but I can’t get on board with this narrative that excludes Hybe from being a big reason why new jeans is as successful as they are, or that mhj is more than just another self-obsessed millionaire. The disrespect towards BTS that’s been shown through this whole situation by both Hybe and MHJ really shouldn’t be ignored by anyone who has spent any amount of time or brain space supporting them, and I really hope if nothing else the PJMs that have been cheering this on because they rightly hate Hybe remember that Jimin is part of the group that has been disrespected. You don’t need to cape for any of these people, none of them deserve it.

Anon,

Thanks for your message and thanks for being respectful with your criticism of MHJ. As a woman, I've really struggled with the lazy ad-hominem attacks BTS fans have used against MHJ rather than focusing on actual potential wrong doing on her part. Enough with pedo this and shaman that.

Fundamentally, HYBE owns an 80% stake in Ador. Since Ador is not a publicly traded company, there is no mechanism for outside investors to buy stock/invest in the company. There is absolutely no way whatsoever for MHJ to remove Ador from underneath HYBE. And because HYBE owns 80% equity, they receive 80% of Ador's revenue. The only way MHJ/Ador could hurt HYBE would be to intentionally lose money, which they haven't done. What they have done is build a solid product and brand that continues to be noticed and lauded by the media (Forbes, Billboard, etc.), music critics, creatives, and of course, fans. Also, the ROI on NewJeans is really impressive (see my next post).

In terms of wanting to be independent from HYBE, I suspect Bang PD promised Min Hee Jin autonomy at her label. She probably assumed that she could use her creative vision to create her own group and likely didn't expect she would be plagiarized by other labels under the HYBE Labels umbrella. Complaining about your boss sabotaging your success seems pretty legit and normal to me. BTS fans are quick to say she's made these allegations up, but folks, we've already seen this exact playbook after Jimin's success. BigHit "borrowed" Jimin's visual concepts for Jungkook's Seven almost verbatim. But copying his clothes and photography style is nothing compared to the lengths they went to not only reproduce Jimin's #1 on the BB Hot 100, but also to surpass and devalue all of his accomplishments with that crappy song that wasn't even written in house. BigHit/HYBE damaged Jimin's artistry and his brand value. Sorry, but that's unforgiveable in my humble opinion.

I personally don't see how the conflict between MJH and BSH has hurt BTS. If anything, it's galvanized an increasingly fractured fandom around a common enemy. The conflict has benefited RM the most as the fandom sprung into action in order to "protect" BTS from the witch. Simply look at the lackluster response to Hobi's Neuron and Teahyung's Fri(end)s compared to the response to RM's new album and singles. The fandom has obviously been losing momentum the longer the boys are away and now they have a new reason to be reinvigorated.

In the end, I'm happy to agree to disagree. This blog isn't serious. My opinions are my own and of course I could be completely wrong. Also, I'm not ARMY, I'm just a casual fan who is fascinated by both BTS' international success and the devotion of their die-hard fandom. That said, I think Jimin has the potential to be hugely successful as a solo artist and I hope it happens. It's been a strange and sad journey to watch his own company sabotage him in order to protect Bang PD's ego and artificially inflate Scooter Braun's value to the company.

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tf-cyberaligned · 10 months

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I guess that the Cybertronian artifact not only expanded their human lives but also their storage brain capacity. What do I mean? Not to be mean or say that your Cyber-continuity doesn't have sense. Like, NO, IS AWSOME AND I CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE. I'm just a dumb person who likes to search for things that catch my attention and made me want to ramble... sorry.

But if you wanna take this into consideration when the thing with the relic happens and you want to explain something, I'll leave you with this. No need to listen actually.

The complexity of longevity with humans lies in the inability of organists to withstand the burdens of operating for more than a couple hundred two hundred years, basically, joints would eventually begin to break down under their own weight and stress, that's why we turn into dust when we die, but of course, lest remember that this is a Cyberpunk dystopia so fortunately, robotic organs will be the next fashion heat!!

But is it possible to replace all the various parts of a body?

Unfortunately no, there are limits, and those limits lay in our brains!! A human being is capable of storing around 100 terabytes of memory, or, what are the same, 100,000 gigabytes of memory, experiences, knowledge, etc. All of them are embedded in our heads thanks to the aforementioned neurons. It may seem like a huge number but eventually, likely in 300 years, a human brain would be full of memories, information, and all kind of stuff, making a person unable to put two words together, feel disoriented, as if you had a "brain fog." Having trouble finding things that could be in front of you. Feeling very confused, taking longer to process new information, or having trouble understanding things. Difficulty making decisions or analyzing things... etc. Let us also not forget about diseases that deteriorate the brain, neurodegenerative diseases, that make this process painfully faster.

Is an incredible concept for horror. But like I said, this is just me doing research on a topic that I just got focused on because I need to stress myself.

I am glad you asked this, cause I did not realize this about the human brain!

Old lore is in italics and is not 100% anymore

For the body

How they stay the same age looks wise is because their bodies are essentially put into a stasis-like state. So their joints don't wear down, their organs don't fail, and and things like cancer don't really grow. The only things that do seem to change is their blood cells and keratin in their body, so their hair and nails still grow. This is all based around Cybertronian anatomy.

The artifact was created by Cybertronians, who when creating it used Cybertronian anatomy as a basis. Now, human and Cybertronian anatomy are different, but hold many similarities. The relic had targeted the organs and parts of the human body that were shared in similarity with Cybertronians.

Things such as brains, circulatory system, eyes, muscles, bones, skin, and digestive system are all examples of similarities between the two species. The relic effected these organs, making them similar to how Cybertronian organs are. This means that the blood will still regenerate, they still have to eat, and they will still mentally age. However, things that are not comparable to Cybertronian anatomy were effected differently.

The relic had no clue how to handle things like hair, nails, lungs, reproductive systems, and other organs such as spleens and kidneys. There was no translation of these organs to Cybertronian organs, so the relic just didn't do much with them. Inner organs were put into stasis, still functioning but they were only effected due to being in proximity to other comparable organs. Hair and nails just weren't really messed with by the relic.

However that can have some big drawbacks. Their skin does not grow back to form scabs and scars, which can lead to wounds continuing to bleed. Their blood is able to clot cause in blood there are red blood cells and white blood cells. The white blood cells have something known as a platelet, which creates the blood clots. Since their bodies are no longer able to regenerate their skin, skin grafting surgery is required for large wounds.

Obviously, with several of the characters, this is not an option they are able to take. Miko for example got an acid poured on her face during a recon mission, and skin grafting would not have fixed this. That is why she has a metal plating around her head. Jack's chest also has metal plating after getting an injury across his chest. Most of the small scars you see on our human characters either came before the beam blasted them, or were the result of donor skin grafting. Kade's burn scar for instance is one of the injuries that is received before the beam hits the group.

Now for the brain issue

In Cyberpunk Edgerunners, which is one of my many inspirations, we are introduced to these ports in the skin.

These ports as seen in EP 2 "Like a Boy", David and Lucy are seen stealing a technology known as Datashards from Corpo people. These Datashards can contain anything from money, information, photos, videos, schematics, etc.

It's basically a glorified SD card.

We are also introduced to Deep Dive Tech. This kind of technology is connected to the occipital lobe to allow for high amounts of data transfer between minds or mind and technology. This is highly dangerous and requires trained professionals to operate.

So what does this mean for my continuity?

Both of these heavily inspired what I plan to do for the brain situation.

These brain ports are connected to the occipital lobe just the Deep Dive Tech. Memories are able to be copied, downloaded, transferred, and even deleted. This allows for the operator, Raf majority of the time, to be able to extract the memories not needed for everyday life from the rest of Team Prime and the Rescue Team. Miko even asked for him to delete the memory she had of getting half of her face melted off, which is perfectly understandable in that situation.

The memories that are extracted are able to be returned to the person as well. Kade for instance had his memories of Hailey copied and extracted, put onto a hard drive specifically for those exact memories. Hailey was not one of the people hit by the beam, leading to Kade losing her by her dying of old age. He had his memories of her extracted so that he wasn't constantly reminded that she was gone, but he could also redownload those memories when he needed to.

So that's my idea for fixing the memory capacity issue! Yes it's very sci fi bullshit, but that's the fun part of cyberpunk universes.

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beauty-of-nyx · 2 years

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OK @youcanseethecosmos I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR AU IT HAS TAKEN OVER MY BRAIN

[TW: mention of ED, fainting. I have marked where both these start and end]

Dream, being the most introverted person imaginable, hides in his trailer almost all the time, alternating between rehearsing and writing

He does like to help out the BTS departments whenever he can, and can often be found quietly painting props and sets whenever there are less people on set

Hob on the other hand is the guy always telling jokes and making people smile on set

Sometimes people accuse him of getting the jobs he does by pulling strings via Dream, but then meet him and realise just how sweet and talented he is

Dream seems to forget that he's an A lister most of the time and does not know how much power his word/recommendation has in the industry

This is why Hob never really snaps back at Dream's accidental barbs. He has fallen in love with his new world and cannot exactly risk Dream saying he is not worth working with

(Dream would never say that but he is an idiot)

Hob is friendly with Death and often goes out for coffee with her whenever she is in the area

Dream is closest to Death out of all his siblings - she is his confidante about everything that even mildly bothers him, even if it takes a bit of prodding to get him to spill - and she makes it a point to regularly visit sets of projects he's in so he can unwind/let out everything he keeps bottling up

These visits are some of the few times Dream doesn't hide in his trailer, and they can be found chatting on a couch or floor or something until Dream falls asleep (going off on the point about Dream sleeping between takes)

Dream is always cold, and seeks out sources of warmth like a cat, but only when he's asleep, because he's too awkward to do so casually enough when he's awake, and holds back anyways because he doesn't want to be a burden. He curls into Death's side once he drops off, and she has never and will never tell him about it [ED mentions begin]

Dream has an ED, as a result of being in the movie business for so long, which is why Hob hasn't ever seen him eat, despite having known him for so many projects

He thinks Dream is so lean/slender because he just works out a lot, but is always a little alarmed whenever he has to touch him for any takes/photos/etc because his bones seem to be literally hanging out

He's always worried until exactly the moment Dream opens his mouth and says something mean

(I know you have something planned about The Big Reveal™ but my brain fixated on Dream having an ED and went off)

In one movie, Dream is to have a shirtless scene and he goes into overdrive with his workouts so he looks Perfect™, plus it's with Hob so he's even more anxious about looking good. He also subconsciously starts restricting his food intake even more. [Fainting mentions begin]

When filming the scene, he does look great, but in a slightly sickly way. The script calls for him to "faint" into Hob's character's arms, but he actually passes out

Hob thinks it's just his usual stellar acting and magnetic fervour that he brings into each role and scene

Until the director yells "Cut!" and Dream... doesn't wake up.

Cue panic

Death is conveniently on set that day, and realises what's going on

Oh no, we need to take him to his trailer and need a big strong man because he obviously can't walk there himself

Hob, thoroughly confused about what to feel, takes Dream to aforementioned trailer

While Death takes care of his idiocy, she ends up ranting about how he is Utterly The Stupidest, Most Self-Centered, Pathetic Excuse For An Actor on This, Or Any Other Form of Media, and simply cannot take care of himself or even ever say what he means

Hob, awkwardly hovering around and trying to not get in Death's path, asks what happened to his dearly detested

"He's been starving himself for this stupid scene. Probably hasn't drunk anything in a day or two."

Oh shit now things make a bit of sense

Hob is now extremely overbearing when it comes to making Dream eat regularly, now that Death has given him her blessing to yell at him to eat [All TW mentions end]

Death has also now informed him about how awkward he actually is, and how often he ends up implying exactly the opposite of what he means

Oh shit, he's trying to compliment me.

I've gone overboard and it is now very AM. Good night.

#dreamling #hobdream #actors au #dream is an idiot #the sandman #dream of the endless #dream #hob gadling #I love them so much #I love this au so much #I have too many thoughts these days #oh my god did I accidentally trap calliope #is dream over-idea-ing me #lights camera action: sky's dreamling actors au

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