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in “the crash of hearts upon the hill,” a small-town canadian himbo power forward falls unhingedly in love with his beautiful swedish backup goalie. idiots to lovers at its sweetest. <3
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned.
Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner.
11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi!
Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--?
Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin.
12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!!
Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What??
Jason: I stole his tires :)
Batman: Tried to.
Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did.
Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin.
14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello
Flash: Where do you even find these--
Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin.
17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!!
Superman: I give up.
Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin.
13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there:
Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?!
Batman: ... he came with the sword.
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I think I dislike ‘fuck canon fanon rulez’ takes because time after time I see how boring and predictable fanon is and how often it reinforces racism and misogyny etc. in ways canon never did
and I think having to work around canon and with canon to make something new usually ends up pushing people to make something weirder and cooler
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I remember seeing someone say that Bruce wouldn't deny the Batman allegations. Like he will proudly tell everyone he is most definitely the Batman whenever he's asked, and it would actually do wonders with keeping the secret hidden.
Like it would be more suspicious than anything if billionaire playboy Brucie Wayne so adamantly denied any connection to the vigilante.
And yeah, so i was thinking what would his kids think about it? like they get asked during interviews and whatnot what they think about their dad being Batman.
I feel like Dick would just play along and say some shit like "if B is Batman, then I'm Nightwing" and get a look from the man
And Jason would take any opportunity to shit on B and say something along the lines of "B's Batman? I call bullshit. He's not even a man"
Tim would either:
a. pull up a 99 slided presentation about how Bruce Wayne is, in fact, NOT Batman and be internally laughing the whole time cause he is funny, and people just dont know what they're talking about.
Or b. (only when he's been up for a few days) confirm it and go "Well yes, of course he is. It'd be weird if he wasn't since the cave's under the house."
Cassandra would just smile and stare into the person's soul until they move on onto the next question.
Steph would deny it and claim that she's Batman and that Bruce is her Robin. She'd probably also manage to convince a few people to join her.
Duke would be like "He's Batman? Ohhh that explains the explosives I found in the cellar!" or something else, just as worrying.
Damian would just nod and go into a full length speech about how Batman is the best superhero (after Nightwing of course) and completely disregard the question. And before anyone can re-ask, he'd just walk off.
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the family group chat gets a text from Damian at 5am while Bruce and Dick are both out of town. this is what happens when you leave a bunch of teenagers in charge of Gotham
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