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findingselene · 2 months

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random thoughts at 6 am on “vacation”

i really did think that I couldn’t sleep because of stevie waking up in the middle of night. and sure that could also contribute to my sleeplessness but here i am. on vacation and awake at 5-6 am.

let’s address a few things. it’s incredible how much things have changed in a year. I was reading my oldest post (after i finally decided it was time to do some journaling again) and wow… what a year,

I graduated. I moved states. i got a job. I moved in with ryan. stevie does not like living with ryan. a new chapter of my life is starting again.

new place. new friends. new coworkers. new environments. a lot has changed in a year,

but i really don’t know where to start. plus i no longer have my therapist so it’s all me right now, the issue is I kinda don’t know when “it” started. I can’t really pinpoint an exact moment that things changed/happened/… and maybe that’s the issue, i kinda don’t know how to properly define what’s going on,

so with all these changes happening to me, it left no room for me to process them. it all happened so fast that I just had to accept it, so let’s retroactively process them,

let’s start with the job, I’m obviously very happy and blessed to have gotten my job all by myself without the help of my advisor. but my lord, the struggle at the beginning was so annoying, everything was a mess, i couldn’t figure out the workflow. I didn’t even know what type of questions to ask because I was confused by everything. I vividly remember asking WC (coming back to this in a bit) about a project and they said “um… yeah I don’t know how to help you.” at the beginning, the days were long and boring because I was just starting. days start at 8. day ends at 5. walk stevie. make dinner. workout. sleep. waiting for the weekend. repeat.

i kept asking myself. is this it? is this how life is going to be forever? i will acknowledge that I did move in the middle of winter so I was mostly inside. with no friends.

it was hard to keep this frustration just at work, since I wasn’t happy (yet), I brought all this negativity into the home that Ryan and I were trying to build since we also moved in together. I was so snappy and would lose my patience so quickly with him. I would get upset at the smallest things. so many little arguments about dishes, time, cleaning. I had no patience at all. I swear I was turning into my dad.

but Ryan would keep trying. he would tell me to communicate better. he would remind me that he isn’t perfect and I needed to be more patience. he would spend more time with me since I was/am feeling lonely with no friends. at the end of the day, he is changing for me. because he loves me.

THAT is very important. but in truly old fashioned stubbornness, I started to question my relationship with him. is this it? are we too different? are our differences really deal breakers now? do I start changing for him or…? I cannot even write the alternative. or do we break up?

i think the feeling of questioning my 3-year relationship AND NO FRIENDS left me very vulnerable (but not an excuse). and this is where WC appears.

more work background. i work and interact with mostly men. I am one of the two women in senior engineering positions. I am the only woman of color. everybody is friendly and approachable, but they’re either older or cannot click with me for them to be put in the friend category,

because of this project, I had to work closely with WC. it was so easy to connect with them. we have similar academic backgrounds, share similar perspectives about work and we are in the same age group box. since I am one of the only people that work in a certain area and they previously worked in my team, they quickly became my go-to person for help and work gossip.

again I cannot pinpoint the moment but I remember I was in their office and just like I used to ask my advisor at the end of every meeting, I asked if there is anything else they needed from me. they quickly replied in a flirtatious way and I blushed a little.

just like that, - I can’t believe I’m admitting this - I was intrigued. I suddenly became aware of how I would say things. We would send the occasional funny or smiley teams message. Our chats were still very strictly about work with the occasional sprinkle of personal information. And yes I did omit telling them I was in a relationship.

but that’s all it was. an innocent work crush. confined from 8 to 5 and from Monday to Wednesday (since they work from home the rest of the week).

until Cleveland, TN.

since this project involved working with manufacturing people from a different location, my boss suggested I should tag along with the auditing team (Jordan and WC) so I could gain more perspective about my job. anyways, I was spending most of my time following them around, asking dumb questions and translating for them.

as a good coworker, I would invite them for lunch and dinner to build our coworking relationships. in one of those dinners, WC told me that Jordan wasn’t joining and since I didn’t have Jordan’s number, I didn’t press about it. we ended up at this diner with WC. we got drinks and food. I spilled my blue moon since I don’t know how to pour beer. I was so embarrassed in front of the waitress. so yeah… we talked about work, relationships, religion, science, hobbies. we were at that diner for almost 3 hours. at the end, I told them they finally had access to my pink phone and I had finally told them about Ryan. but we kinda clicked? plus they were super observant about me… they noticed how people wouldn’t look at me to address and almost caught me when I almost fell with those stupid safety shoes.

next day I found out that Jordan did want to come to dinner but WC never told him where, and I tried my best to not think too much about it.

after this trip, I realized I was entering a very dangerous zone. and I feel/felt so guilty. I ended up telling Ryan that i was crushing on WC and he got very upset. I wanted to be honest, but I think it brought his insecurities to the surface. after lots of reassurance that I still want to be with him, we were okay.

now the task was to kill this crush. which is turning harder than I thought. since I work closely with them, it’s been hard. especially after this week when shit kinda hit the fan. everybody was so upset. I was pissed. frustrated. helpless. and they were too.

they reassured me that I was doing a good job and “apologized” if they contributed to my merpy feeling. through text. but the conversation did not end there. they suggested I should help them with running. I suggested they should run with me after work. when they responded that it could be arranged, I felt giddy and guilty again. I left them on read because again, I am nearing that dangerous zone.

after that, I think they have been acting weird… they left me on read at work and when I asked if they were okay, they responded quickly and shortly, without wanting a follow up. and you know that empty feeling when your chest does when you feel disappointed. yeah I had that after these interactions.

and that’s why I can’t sleep, I can’t rest thinking that I’m hurting my partner and maybe leading someone on (?).

it sounds so easy to put people in a box. I have to build these boundaries for them where they can only exist. Only work talk.

No texting.

No more personal talk.

No check-ins.

No emojis.

More distance.

Boundaries only work if you actively put them in place. but I am also human. I can make mistakes. I can also hurt people too. I can also hurt myself in the process.

So yeah… no wonder I cannot sleep.

#journal

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soft-october-night · 4 years

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The Love Interests in the Works of Jane Austen: An Assessment

This is an "extremely scientific" and "thoroughly researched" ranking based on personality, money, family and connections, and is a bit of a blend between the book characterizations and the film characterizations (and is in no way only based on my own opinions). Here we go, grouped by book but not much else.

Edmund Bertram: absolute trash. His family has treated you unbelievably shitty since day one and not only has he BARELY noticed, he ALSO has treated you shitty. Will fall in love with someone beautiful and fun and when she dumps him will come crawling to you for a rebound. His passion for you is so lackluster that even the esteemed author who wrote about it barely spared a paragraph on your relationship. Has a job but only because his dad owns the land the church is built on. You’ll gain no connections or family by marrying him, since he’s literally your cousin. 0/10

Henry Crawford: There IS such thing as too much fun, and that is never clearer than in this man, who will try to seduce you as a game, freak out when his middling overtures don’t work and then try and seduce you “for really real” this time. You will definitely move up in the world if you marry him, and if you play your cards right it seems like his sister is also just REALLY into you, so see how that goes. Life will be pretty okay until you find him in bed with one (or more, who knows) of your relations. 3/10, 8/10 if you’re into that

John Willoughby: Will be like something out of a romance novel, you’re thinking he’s going to propose and then he just fucking ghosts you and embarrasses the fuck out of you at a party by acting like he doesn’t know you. Somehow marry him (congrats on the inheritance you must have, btw) and get ready to take a backseat to the whims of his aunt for as long as she lives. 1/10, at least you get to live in a nice house.

Edward Ferrars: Oh Edward. He’s a bit of a mess, isn’t he? Super kind, your family loves him, he made a bunch of stupid decisions in his youth that are coming back to bite him in the ass. He is loyal to an absolute fault, but you luck out when his fiance turns out to be a bit of a gold digger and dumps him when his mom disowns him. He doesn’t have a job and neither do you, but his family doesn’t wanna speak to him (lucky you!) and you’ll be happy and poor together if you two can work on your communication skills. 7/10.

Colonel Brandon: He’s got a nice house, the respect of his friends and the community, and he has a LOT of passion. He’ll give your sister’s penniless husband a job, dramatically rescue you from a rainstorm, make sure his dead girlfriend’s daughter is happy and taken care of even after your ex fucks HER over too, and is all around a pretty decent guy. Just. Uh. Maybe, kinda, sorta, needs to go after women his own age and is probably with you because you remind him of his dead girlfriend. 5/10 with the wildly inappropriate age gap, 9/10 without it.

Mr. Wickham: Please don’t. He’s a thirsty bitch who lives for drama and you think he’s fun until you find out he tried to sleep with one teenage girl and is making eyes at your fifteen year old sister behind your back. Marry him (through the grace of mysterious benefactors, cause he ain’t marrying anyone unless he’s paid the right price) and get ready for a life of being surrounded by military men in the north of England while your husband tries to fuck everything that moves. Work that out somehow with him and you might actually be happy. 0/10.

Mr. Bingley: He is a softboi who will do literally anything his friends tell him to do. He is SUPER rich, and marrying him will throw your sister’s into the path of other rich men and he is REALLY into you, but get ready to be sucking up to his sisters for literally the rest of your life. Unless he can ship Miss Bingley off to live with Mrs. Hurst, have fun trying to wage a war of barely concealed insults over the breakfast table every morning, and if you’re marrying Bingley I’m sorry but that is a war you just cannot win. He doesn’t have a job but he does have five thousand a year, and neither of you can manage money. You’ll love simply and deeply and be happy as any two can be. 8/10.

Mr. Collins: Last resort to rescue yourself from a life of being a burden to your parents until they die and then having to become a governess or something. Has a job but never shuts up about his boss. You will have to rearrange everything in your house according to his boss’ will. 2/10

Mr. Darcy: Is a anxious disaster who doesn’t know how to talk to girls at parties and needs to learn how say no to going out when he’s just not feeling it. He doesn’t have a job because he’s a landlord; he owns half of Derbyshire and has ten thousand a year, but turns out that all of that money and land can’t buy tact or charisma. Doesn’t know how to flirt and thinks he’s doing a great job (he’s not). He’ll propose to you out of the fucking blue one day by insulting literally everything about you, but don’t worry! Reading his letter unlocks Darcy 2.0. This patched version gives him humility, a personality, and he WILL gain the ability to rescue your family from utter ruin. Marry him and enjoy a life of luxury and witty ripostes, but beware! You ARE going to have to deal with Lady Catherine until the day she dies, not to mention Caroline Bingley’s barely concealed contempt every time you meet in polite company. Darcy 1.0 3/10, Darcy 2.0 8/10.

Captain Wentworth: Absolutely top tier. Has a job, has earned everything he has, including a fortune and the respect of his peers, superiors, and subordinates. His sister and her husband are practically the only happily older married couple you know, his friends are super fun and nice (even the dour one with all the poetry knows how to have a polite conversation). If you dumped him ten years ago on the advice of your almost comically shitty family yeah, he’s going to hold a grudge, but he WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU and the MOMENT he gets over his pride will do everything and anything in his power (including leaping the bounds of propriety!) to win you back. Based on his love, money, and connections you should RUN, not walk, into his arms TODAY and allow him to rescue you from your family and whisk you off to see the world on his ship, at least until Napoleon busts out of Elba. 12/10

Mr. Eliot: Will lose all your old schoolfriend’s husband’s money in a bad deal, has debts out the ass, might be trying to get with either you or the woman your dad has been flirting with for the last few years, you’re not sure. Is totally ruining the rekindling relationship you’re trying to get going with your far superior ex. He wants the land and title your dad has and will stop at nothing to get it. Marry him and you can move back into your old house (maybe? it’s a little unclear what with all the debts) but have every single cent your mother left you immediately put into some dumbass scheme. 1/10

Henry Tilney: another softboi who just wants to act in the school play while his dad and brother plan to ship him off to military school and berate him for not joining the football team. Bring him shopping with you to pick out dresses, spend long nights over tea chatting about books. Has a job, but again, only because his dad owns the land the church is on. Loves you even though you have some very strange ideas about his house, and will forgive you when he realizes you thought his dad either murdered or imprisoned his mom. If he can find the courage to tell his dad to fuck off and let him live his own life, expect a long, happy marriage of snuggling together in a window seat somewhere, sipping tea and reading. 9/10

John Thorpe: Trash bastard man. Peaked in whatever equivalent of high school he had. Shitty and rude to everyone, would post racist memes on facebook and start fights if he could, all while being shitty and manipulative and CREEPILY possessive of you. -2/10

Robert Martin: A sweet himbo farmer who just wants to love and worship you. He has a job, is pretty rich, and while his connections may not be above his class, he’s an earnest boy who wants to take care of you and be taken care of in turn. Marry him the first time, absolutely do NOT let your friend influence you against him, because who KNOWS if you will get a second proposal! (You will, he likes you THAT much.) Marry him and enjoy a sweet, simple life of exactly zero drama (unless your friend is around). 7/10

Mr. Elton: Trifling gold digging trash who doesn’t know what the word no means. Do not marry, unless you want to be censured by decent, hardworking people -1/10

Frank Churchill: Knows how to have fun, but you know there’s something more going on. He won’t let you see his letters, he sends out secret notes, then he smiles and tells you that everything is totally a okay. Another boy with ANOTHER overbearing aunt, only this one doesn’t know how to say no. Marry him if you’ve got the money, but he will always be longing after the poor girl next door that auntie wouldn’t let him married, and would have cheated on you already if she was into it. 3/10

Mr. Knightly: He’s your brother in law and you’ve known him almost your whole life, so that’s a little sus, but he is also the ONLY person in your entire life who knows how to tell you no (and you really, REALLY need to be told no sometimes.) He is extremely wealthy, but more importantly he’s kind and caring about people who are considered “beneath” him. He will break his weird no dancing rule to dance with your shy friend, he will ream you out for being shitty to unwed spinsters who value your opinion, and somehow has the correct read on everyone all the time. You will gain no connections by marrying him, since the two of you already have the exact same connections anyway, but the two of you should be content in a test of wills that will last a lifetime. You’ll be very happy as long as he doesn’t get super pedantic and start correcting you about everything. 7/10

#jane austen #pride and prejudice #persuasion #sense and sensibility #emma #mansfield park #northanger abbey #mr darcy #captain wentworth

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cazimagines · 3 years

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Niki Lauda x Ferrari's first female engineer/mechanic hcs

Request: Could I request Niki Lauda x Ferrari’s first female engineer/mechanic? It was the 70s so even though she really knows her stuff she gets a lot of crap, and even though they vibe on cars she doesn’t take any from Lauda. She really loves what she does, the kind to stay up all night to finish or fix or tinker with something but usually catches a ride with Niki after races cuz she finds the afterparties boring/pretentious. Hope this isn’t too specific! -🦇

- You had fought tooth and claw to get where you were. Ferrari's first female engineer. Just thinking over it made you feel giddy. Ever since you were a child you were obsessed with cars and wanted to build them all. At a young age, you started making go-karts, riding them down your street. You would go searching for scraps at the local garage to improve your own kart and then race it against the neighbour's kids. While you enjoyed the ride, the feel of the wind rushing by your face as you travel speedily, you knew your heart always belonged to the actual making of the kart rather than racing

- You were always found around the local garage, and the men were kind enough to show you around and teach you skills, they found it amusing that such a young girl showed interest in such things. They saw it as a little hobby that you would grow out of one day, but they were wrong. This wasn't just a phase, it wasn't just a hobby. It was something you were passionate about and you were determined to follow it through

- And so you did. It had taken a lot. Men didn't like it that a woman was proving better than them. Showing them up. At all chances, they tried to pull you down, prevent you from getting far but even they couldn't deny the skill you had for engineering. In the end, their need for a good engineer won out against their misogyny and you were allowed to join the team. A lot of the men there still treated you like crap, never acknowledging your good work and treating you as if you were an idiot but you knew just being there you were an inspiration for other women who wanted to go into similar professions and you weren't going to give that up. Plus their remarks were easy to ignore until one certain guy came along

- You, like most of the team, scoffed at the fact that this guy Niki had to buy himself into F1. You had all joked around that he wouldn't last the season. He was just a rich boy using daddy's money to have some fun. And maybe Niki knew what was being said of him because he was quick to disprove these things. You had started to admire him, seeing just how skilled he was at driving. That was until he joined Ferrari.

- To give it to him, he didn't seem to mind that you were a female, at least if he did he never vocalized that. He did however choose to critique you and all of your team on everything they did to the car, constantly telling you what you were doing wrong and how you were costing him the races to Hunt. His arrogance pissed you off to no end

- You'd be working on adjusting the engine so it wouldn't fail from the speed it was having to push the car. He'd become up behind you, crossing his arms and shaking his head in annoyance. 'Your doing it wrong' he'd state. 'I'm the engineer, you're the driver' you'd bite back and his eyes would flicker to yours in anger. 'I know my car better than you. That's why all my improvements make my racing better, whereas yours just makes me as mediocre as Hunt'

- You'd throw the spanner to the ground in anger and stand up to glare at him, only inches apart, 'If you think you're improvements are so good why don't you just fire me and do the engineering yourself' 'Fine, I will if all you are going to give is a bitchy attitude towards me' you scoff at his words and storm off

- You thought that was it. That was the end of your time at Ferrari. But your resignation never came. You'd stay on. And it wasn't as if Niki had forgotten you existed. No, he started appearing even more when you were working on the cars. Criticizing you, undoing your hours of work and just being plain rude. It leads to many arguments with him, usually with you telling him to fuck off and yet he never got you fired and it confused you to no end.

- Because you enjoyed working on the cars so much, and how you wanted to prove to Niki that you were a good engineer, you would stay after hours most nights working on the car. The team didn't care, they usually left you alone, thinking you were stupid for wanting to spend more time there than you had already. On one night there was a party being hosted for Niki winning another race. You were invited but you didn't go, you hated the parties, usually because of the way the men treated you

- So you were working on the car when the lights were turned on in the garage and Niki's booming voice rang out, 'Who's there?' you appeared from under the car looking at him confused,' Aren't you supposed to be at the party?' 'I could say the same thing to you' is all he would reply. You would tell him you were just finishing up on some work and would be leaving in a minute. You expected him to leave you alone but instead, he waited till you were done. 'How are you getting home?' he asks as he starts to walk next to you. 'The bus?' you say, finding this very situation extremely weird as for once he wasn't insulting you. 'The bus is crap, it takes ages to get you anywhere and it's getting dark. I'll take you home' you were shocked, to say the least.

- You tried to argue against it but somehow you found yourself sitting in the passenger seat of his car and you quietly drive down the road, the awkwardness of the situation affecting both of you. 'You hate parties, even if they are your own?' you say finally breaking the silence, 'I enjoy parties, but I find the people insufferable' he simply replies back. 'Yes you seem to find everyone on the team insufferable, I'd assume me the most'

- Keeping his eyes on the road, his grip on the wheel tightens slightly. 'I don't find you insufferable' 'By the way all the work I do never seems to be good enough for you that was enough for me to believe that', he rolls his eyes as you speak. 'Your work is okay, but it can be better if you actually try'. 'I do try!' you exclaim but he just shakes his head, 'Not enough'

- Finally, you arrive at home, you turn to look at him, preparing to bite back the bitter feeling in your mouth and thank him when he says 'You can get out now'. You throw up your middle finger at him as you leave the car making him chuckle

- This incident somehow started a routine for you two. Niki realised it wasn't just that day but most days you choose to stay after hours, and suddenly he started staying after hours as well. At first, he would do the usual and just tell you everything you were doing wrong, then offer you a lift home. But soon he started helping you out, making adjustments together, and though you hated to admit it he was right with his suggestions, they made the car better. But in the same way, he was helping you improve your knowledge, and he started occasionally giving you compliments on your work, though very rare.

- He'd always offer you a lift home and honestly how could you refuse to ride with an F1 driver, even if he drove really slow on actual roads. Your conversations slowly switched from insulting each other to actually talking about common interests and joking around as if you were good friends

- Then you started to feel more, like when he was helping you on the car, and he would move past you, his hand resting on your waist briefly. Or when you would both lean over to grab something and his hand would come in contact with yours, and you would both stare at each other for a moment before he tells you to remove your hand.

- You started to actually celebrate when he won races, and not just because it was your team winning. He'd come out of the car and his eyes would first be on yours, smiling excitedly at another race won and seeing you cheer him on. Then when he was giving his winning speech and his eyes flicker to you, 'And I couldn't have won this race without the work from my team, specifically our main and first female engineer y/n'

- You could never explain the pure joy and happiness you felt at that moment. But it was very similar to the same feeling you got when you two were working on the car the next day and he asks you to look at him. For once in his life, his cocky attitude had gone away and he looked nervous but pulling himself together, he grasped the back of your neck with his hand and pulled you forward, hips lips coming to rest on yours.

#niki lauda #niki lauda fanfiction #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda headcanons #niki lauda hcs #rush #daniel brühl

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writingabouteverything · 3 years

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The Perfect White Flower--and Other Nonexistent Things

a/n YALL THIS IS PROBABLY DUMB BUT I HAD THIS IDEA ABOUT A HARRY STYLES X READER FIC THATS BASED ON THE PLOT OF JANE THE VIRGIN AND I WANTED TO WRITE IT SO BADLY I MADE THIS ACCOUNT

disclaimer--wont follow the show exactly

Pairing: Harry Styles x latina! reader (a key factor of the show revolves around the lead being latina, and im latina and honestly love writing for us but anyone can still read and understand/hopefully enjoy and the fic doesn’t involve any physical descriptions:))

Series Summary: Y/n l/n has had the world figured out since she was a child. She won’t be a writer because it’s risky, she’ll just focus on school and becoming a teacher. She’s never been a child, because her mother had her at sixteen and hasn’t aged a single year since. That’s part of the reason the promise she made to her grandmother means so much to her--if she doesn’t have sex before marriage, her child will never have to grow up as quickly as she did. And Harry Styles is at the top of the world--his music has never been more successful, he has a lovely girlfriend, and he’s never been more in demand. He has everything in the world...except a child, and through a series of unbelievable events--y/n might be his only chance to have one. Ever.

Chapter One Summary: Who knew getting a pap smear on two hours of sleep and three cups of coffee was as bad as having unprotected sex?

There’s something dangerous about taking public transportation in LA. And no, I don’t mean it in the ‘there are bad people in the world’ type of way. I mean it in the ‘I live in one of the casual influencer, celebrity, tourist hubs of the world and each time I step onto the bus I find myself mesmerized by all the stories I see in them’ way. Kind of pathetic, I know, but sometimes a child with blonde pig tails or a woman streaming on instagram live will catch my eye and the urge to pull out my lap top and start something I’ll never finish.

I know that writing isn’t some kind of disease. But I can’t let myself fall in love with it the way I want to. There’s nothing wrong with writing a short story or two, but trying to write a novel? That’s impractical. It will distract me from school, from the four year plan I’m almost done with.

Sighing, I brave taking at my surroundings. I deserve this today, after the anonymous, rude costumer at the hotel today, I need positivity. No one is particularly inspiring. The bus stops and I watch out the window. At first the crowd is ordinary, and then i see them...paparazzi. Flashing cameras from all angles, grown men violating all rules of personal space. It never sits right with me, but I guess it’s just part of living in LA. The bus starts moving again. When it stops again, I see even more paparazzis, but their cameras aren’t flashing. Good for whoever escaped that.

The bus door opens and I snap my attention back to my computer screen. I rub my eyes as I stare at my word document. How is there more that needs to be edited? This professor is the harshest grader I’ve ever had, and my friend, Gisa, is kind for giving me even more notes. But I’m exhausted. Two tests and an essay due before 12:00. And it’s...11:38. Great--I have to upload it the second I’m at my doctor’s office and have WiFi again.

I spend some time highlighting and rewording sentences, and once I’m done I reward myself with more people watching because I deserve it and I can’t fall asleep here. I’m kind of invested in the girl live streaming her bus ride...maybe she’ll say her instagram handle.

But when I look up, she’s not on the bus anymore. Almost no one is. An elderly couple is sitting towards the back. A woman with a toddler sit two rows in front of me...and there’s now a man directly across from me. I blink for a moment, imagining a story for someone who’s face I can’t quite see beneath such dark sun glasses. His dark waves and strong jaw do most of the imagining for me--he deserves a mystery, a dramatic one with a happy ending and just enough romance to keep the people interested. A good romance, too--not too sappy. Enemies to lovers, maybe. A mysterious stranger that’s not really a stranger because something about him is just...familiar.

He turns his head and I drop my gaze immediately. There’s no doubt he caught that, but I still pretend to edit the title of my essay. “You’ve been typing stubbornly since I first got on the bus.” There’s an accent--of course he’s english. But it’s more than that, I’ve heard that voice before. I’ve been...soothed by it. And--oh my god, I’m sitting across from Harry Styles.

Okay, don’t freak out. Don’t freak him out. He’s probably on here to escape the the whole ‘oh my god, you’re Harry Styles!’ thing.

“What are you writing?” Harry Styles just spoke to me. I greeted my one direction poster every single day in middle school, and Harry Styles just spoke to me. Okay--relax, breathe--it’s only weird if you make it weird.

There’s a kind of curt curiosity to his question. He could have been ruder, considering how blatantly I was staring at him. “I um...an essay.” I’m temped to turn the screen so that he can see I’m telling the truth. Though he wasn’t hostile, a part of me is paranoid that he thinks I am writing about him. It’s a fair assumption, for all he knows I’m drafting a tweet about who I saw on the bus this morning or preparing to send something in to some gossip girl-esque blog. “It’s due today at noon and normally I’m way more on top of things, but I had this last minute doctor’s appointment rescheduling because my usual doctor is out of town and--” I cut myself off before I can tell Harry Styles that I’m ovulating and that if I don’t go to my OBGYN now, I have to wait an entire month and I’ve already been off birth control longer than I’d like. I might not have actual sex in my near future, but my cramps have been extra terrible. “An essay, I just finished an essay.”

He nods once. Maybe he feels bad for so thoroughly startling me into such a rambling, because the corner of his mouth tilts upwards. A soft smile adds even more grace to his features, I focus on the dimple that appears in his cheek. “An aggravating essay, I take it, considering the death glares you’ve been giving your laptop screen.”

I smile at his polite humor. “It’s for the harshest grader on campus. She took three points off of my first essay freshman year because I spaced my bibliography wrong.”

He cringes in sympathy. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” I hum, proud of myself for not letting him know that I know who he is. The bus stops, I can see my doctor’s office behind a few paparazzi. “This is my stop.”

Harry nods once, ducking his head slightly. A tiny part of me feels sympathy for him; from what I’ve gathered, he genuinely loves his fans and the relationship they have, but it must be draining to never have a moment of privacy. Especially when it’s people who care more about selling your picture than your mental health.

I linger on the bus’s step, watching the men with large cameras look around. “Excuse me, are you guys looking for Harry Styles?” Most of the men disregard me, but one looks at me. “I know he’s near here because I’m a really big fan and my friend just texted that she saw him.” This gets me the attention I wanted. “He’s at Northfield--a cafe like three blocks down. I just know that if she got a picture with Harry in like a magazine or something she’d totally lose it--in a good way, and she’s been having a bad time so if you see her can you try to make it happen? Knowing her she’ll be at his side, she’s blonde, shortish hair.”

The men seem skeptical, but I guess they realize that this is the best lead they have. I think the fact that I gave a reason to justify selling Harry out for no reason helped. They disperse together, heading at least three blocks away from Harry. I don’t know if I’ve actually helped him, but I hope I have.

“Essay girl.” I freeze, half cringing. Did he hear that? That’s embarrassing. I consider darting away, but decide that would just make me cringe more. So I turn on my heels. “You...you forgot your phone.”

He just saved my life. “Thank you.” I take my phone from his outstretched hand, ignoring the slight thrill that runs through me when our fingers brush. “You’re my hero--the last thing I needed today was to run all over the city searching for my phone.” I finish the awkward admission with a partial laugh.

“Least I could do,” he mumbles, “especially considering what you just did.”

...He did see that. “Oh um--it was nothing, I just kind of made a connection and assumed the only reason you’d be on a public bus is because you were trying to avoid some things, and you make really great music and a lot of people happy, so you deserve that break.” Why does it feel like I’ve been talking forever? “Anyways, thanks for the whole phone thing, and I hope I got them off your tail.”

My joke seems to somewhat land. His lips part, like he’s planning on saying something else. A timer on my phone interrupts him. I instinctually look down--great, the alarm on my phone warning me that I’m only ten minutes away from being late. “I’m late.” I turn towards the bus’s exit. “I gotta go, but thanks again, and I hope you have a good day.”

I disappear after that, still not sure that that whole thing wasn’t some kind of hallucination. Did I just meet Harry Styles? He...he gave me my phone. Harry Styles has touched my phone. I can’t wait to tell Gisa, she’ll lose it.

I’m still thinking about Harry Styles when I finally reach my OBGYN’s office. When I get there, things are a lot more hectic than I thought they’d be. Many people crowd the waiting area and the receptionist’s desk is clearly understaffed. Two young girls are trying to address multiple upset pregnant women and take phone calls at the same time, all while practically buried in a sea pf paperwork. Wow, I didn’t realize that transferring was such chaos. One of the girls waves me over and barely checks my name before shoving a form towards me. I fill out as quickly as possible.

I upload my essay quickly after checking in. Who knows, maybe Harry Styles’s blessing will get me an A? A third person in scrubs emerges from the back after a moment and ushers me into a room. I tell myself to focus on going over the facts I need for the test I have to take in a little over an hour. Or to focus on the fact that I just met Harry Styles. But instead, I feel my heavy eyelids fall shut.

I don’t know how long I sleep, but I know that I wake up during the middle of a doctor’s sentence, “...I know I’m not your usual, so I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“Hm...Yeah, yeah I’m comfortable.” She nods once, her wide eyes slightly red. “But I do have a class today in like an hour, so I was wondering if this was going to take longer because of the office’s move?”

“Oh, no,” she shakes her head. “Just because Dr. Rodriguez gave us no notice before deciding that she no longer wanted to work here...or in the country. Or even live in the US, despite the fact that we just signed a lease on a place together...” Tears well in the stranger’s eyes, pity settles in my stomach.

“That sounds incredibly complicated, I didn’t mean to rush you.”

She blinks twice, her expression blanking as she fights against the pain of what’s clearly a terrible break up. “No, no--you have every right. Today is your day and if..honestly, if you’re strong enough to go to a class after this, and do what you’re about to do by yourself, then I’m strong enough to get through today.”

Um...didn’t realize a pap smear counted as something that needs moral support, but I’ll chalk it up to her heightened emotions. “Thanks.”

She snaps on her medical gloves. “No, thank you for your patience. Now lay down.”

I do as told, preparing for a sensation I haven’t often experienced. A moment passes and I know she’s started. She’s moving away from me much faster than expected. Oh--I guess pap smears are a lot shorter than I expected.

“That’s it?”

“Yep,” she hums, pulling her gloves off. “Now just take it easy, and hydrate.”

Weird...but that’s like general doctor advice. “Thanks!”

I’ve never wanted to keep a secret from Gisa, but sometimes I really regret telling her I met Harry Styles. It’s been almost a month and I find my mind wandering back to the moment in which our fingers brushed more than I should. Sometimes I let myself wonder what he might have said if my phone hadn’t rang. I was probably just imagining the way his lips parted, but my ind refuses to let it go.

“...You know it’s kind of sad, I read an interview in which he spoke about the fact that he has some genetic condition that makes it hard to have kids. He has so many godchildren, and I feel like he’d make such a great father.”

I try to keep up with Gisa’s words, but the dull ache in my head makes it feel so far away. “Yeah...he seemed really patient.”

Gisa nods, turning to face me. “You alright, you’re looking kinda green?”

“Yeah...” I reach for my canvas bag. “I think I just...I probably just need some water.”

My hand grazes the metal of my water bottle and then the corners of my vision blur into blackness. I sway, Gisa’s hand is on my shoulder...and then it all goes black.

I sit uncomfortably on the hospital’s cot. Gisa is a traitor for telling my mom that I fainted. I knew she’d just drag me here--hispanic mothers, they either believe they can cure you with vic’s vapor rub or they want you in the ER. No in between.

“I know you didn’t want another test, but you’ve been throwing up in the morning for days and now you’re fainting.”

“Fainted,” I correct, “it happened once.”

“C’mon, mija, it’s just one doctor’s appointment.”

Speaking of, an ER nurse returns. “Fainting and nausea spells explained,” he says, glancing at his clipboard, “you’re pregnant.”

My mom and I can’t help but exchange a look before bursting into laughter. Pregnant. If I’m pregnant then the second coming is here. “That’s impossible, I’m a virgin.”

He glances at my mom, “maybe we should have this conversation in private.”

“No, what you say in front of me you can say in front of my mom.”

My mom raises an eyebrow. “Y/n, did you and that guy from your english class--”

“No! No, we did not. I am a virgin and there’s no way I’m pregnant.” I glare at the nurse.

He then ushers me to a bathroom so that I can provide a urine sample. After I’m finished, he shows me a pregnancy test strip. “Pink means pregnant.” I bite my tongue as he tests the strip in my sample. He pulls it out and it’s...it’s bright pink.

“I’m calling my doctor, because this has to be a mistake. It has to be like a hormonal thing.”

“Exactly, pregnancy hormones.”

I glare even harder, calling the doctor that I saw last week. “Hello, Dr. Ash? I was wondering if I could get a consultation because I’m in the ER and some crazy doctor is trying to tell me I’m pregnant.”

Silence on the line for a long second. “...I actually cleared my calendar for you.”

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #jane the virgin #jane the virgin AU #lot #hslot st louis

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apinktrashworld · 3 years

Text

The Camp

masterlist

Jungkook x reader | angst, fluff | friends to lovers au

wordcount: 2.4k

You and a few friends are going to a camp for a month, you find yourself growing closer to Jungkook though he’s your best friends ex.

For a long time, you and your friends had signed up for a camp to help volunteer. Works that needed help such as the environment, the old and homeless, hospitals and different orphanages etc. The list went on of what you could do to help. Wanting to help out as much as you can, you signed up for every possible thing on the list. The camp was set for a month. You scanned the brochure the camp had given out, you saw food was provided and the food schedule was written on the next page. There were pictures that showed people working and smiling, scanning every smile you could see you hoped to feel the same and to have a constant smile on your face throughout the camp. You had always cared about stuff like this and you wanted to help out as much as you could. You wanted to make a difference in the world and make it a better place.

When you had told your four friends about the camp they looked like they were about to laugh, not quite thinking you’re being serious. You just stared at them waiting for them to finish so you could explain your reasons. As you did, they seemed to get more and more interested and wanted to come along with you. Now it was your time to laugh. Knowing them, they didn’t want to leave our little small town for an entire month to do volunteer work when you finally were free from school. You stopped laughing and stared at them with a smile on your face, meeting eyes with Taehyung looking dead serious. When no one said anything you made the biggest grin ever, in which they all returned. You yelled out how excited you were for this and they all started jumping and screaming with you, hugging and dancing in excitement.

That was two weeks ago, and now you had finally arrived at the camp. You and your friends stepped off the bus with your luggage and stood in a row, staring ahead. You felt ready for what was to come and looking to your side, you saw Jungkook, Jimin and your best friend, Irene gathering their luggage. Jungkook and Irene used to date a few months ago but stayed on good terms in order to keep the group together. You especially were thankful for that since you had grown so close with Jungkook and not wanting to choose between your best friend and Jungkook.

The boys knew each other since childbirth and had stuck together ever since. Jungkook and Irene met through a mutual friend and grew close. As time went on, Irene dragged you with her to meet her new friends and Jungkook did the same with Jimin and Taehyung and just like that you hung out everyday. You thought you had found the best group you could ever find and would constantly thank them in your head. They made you happy and you could trust them with all your secrets. The more time the group spent together, the more did Jungkook and Irene take interest in one another and the two eventually started to hang out alone. One thing turned into another and suddenly they were a couple. You could tell how much Jungkook liked Irene and you were all for it, shipping them like crazy. Then Irene got in one's head and started telling you how Jimin had started to like you and tried to set up the two of you. It worked. Before you had never seen Jimin more as a friend but ever since your friend pointed out his interest in you, you suddenly noticed those quick glances he threw at you from time to time and his attempt in trying to flirt with you. Suddenly, you found yourself to like Jimin back, although not being as obvious as he was, you did not dare a single look towards him, being too afraid to meet his eyes and him seeing you blush. You did not dare talking to him more than a few words and a few attempts of flirting (though the flirting did not land whatsoever) in fear that your voice would shake or stutter. Irene noticed this too and practically forced you to talk to Jimin. You two agreed on a date and you shared a kiss or two, however the romance died pretty quickly after that, still, you care deeply for each other. Irene and Jungkook dated for three months before they broke up, Irene made the decision. She felt as if she wasn’t in a relationship with Jungkook alone and instead felt like she dated the whole group. When she told you this, you felt extremely guilty, you felt as if you were to blame for the relationship not working out. Irene is not one to open up about her feelings and prefers to keep them to herself in order to remain strong. Although Irene didn’t show her heartbreak, Jungkook however, got heartbroken. He loved Irene, and sometimes you think he still does. Wanting to help, your own heart breaking upon the sight of him, you tried showing him that you’re there for him. He refused to meet up with the group and started drinking up his feelings. This went on for a month. Irene broke him out of his bubble, talking out and listening to him, both crying and hugging and agreed to remain friends. It was hard for both of them at first, but soon it grew easier for the entire group.

Now, three months later, we’re here, standing with our hands full, Taehyung’s struggling to hold onto his bags but insisting he should take some of yours too because “a fine dame like you shouldn’t carry such heavy stuff”. Looking away from Taehyung, looking straight ahead to see where you’ll spend your life this month. Seeing people walking and laughing as they talk. Some are picking up trash and others are carrying boxes from a place to another. A huge smile spread across your face as you take the place in, you were happy you were to do this. Gathering your luggage you call for the others to get going. You all started walking towards the huge building that most likely was the barracks and the reception. It was a big white building with what seemed to be three floors. Walking up the stairs to the entrance you hear as the rest of the group are struggling to walk. Going in, you are welcomed to a group of men smiling and greeting you all. They’re wearing blue t-shirts with a text on the chest that says “Helping Hands”.

“Hi, welcome to Helping Hands!” one of the boys said with a big smile on his face, handing out four identical brochures as you had looked at before. Taking them, you hand out each of the brochures to your friends. “I suppose you are checking in?”

You nodded at his question. “Yes, it’s me, Taehyung, Jimin, Jungkook and Irene, we’re signed up for a month here” you say with an uncontrollable smile. You feel the rest of your group's eyes on you as they silently laugh at your excitement.

“Alright, I just need all of you to sign this paper and then I will show you to your rooms” the boy informed you, gesturing to you to follow him. He stopped by a desk and placed papers with a lot of text on it. Quickly scanning through it, you signed it and handed the pen to Irene. You all signed the papers and moved on to get your rooms sorted out. Walking through a long white corridor with several doors on each side, you thought to yourself that it looked like some kind of mental hospital due to the empty walls. Not thinking too much of it, you walk through the corridor. The man stopped by one of the doors to your right and gestured for you and Irene to go inside. Inside you saw three other girls standing by each bed.

“This is your room girls, the boy’s room will be a few doors down the hallway.” the guide said and continued his walking.

The boys looked at each other then at you and Irene, thinking all of you were going to share a room. You simply shrugged your shoulders at them before turning around, catching a glimpse of Taehyung and Jimin who are both watching the girls behind you. When you turned around you saw the girls blushing and smiling. One of the girls snapping out of it, stepped forward and greeted you. Her name was Jiwoo and has a smile as an angel. Her hair was long and brown that framed her face in a way you never succeeded with, dark brown eyes which almost looked black and a voice which could make birds sing along with her. She was absolutely stunning. Jiwoo then introduced the two blushing girls behind her, Sun-hee and Mee-yon. All of them are beautiful and you found it hard to look away, your chin almost dropping at their beauty. Irene got you back to reality and introduced you to the girls.

Getting to know each other, you learned you were all the same age and had a lot in common. You and Mee-yon especially loved taking trips and finding new places, Irene and Jiwoo got along due to them having the same major. You were really thankful for getting roommates such as them rather than girls who won’t share a single glance with you. You and Irene chose the bunk beds closest to the door, you being on the bottom bunk and Irene on the top.

A few minutes later, there were a few knocks on the door, opening up you see it’s the boys, all of them trying to squeeze through the door to look inside. Almost falling in, they stumble on their feet, smiling. Jimin and Jungkook turn to you and Irene while Taehyung gets busy trying to get acquainted with your roommates.

“Why did you get a much nicer room than we got?” Jimin whined as he turned to investigate your room again. “You even have flowers!” he exclaimed, pointing at the vase full of flowers on the table in the middle room.

“You should see ours…” Jungkook finishes as he looks down at you. Looking up at him and letting out a little chuckle. Not breaking eye contact, you quickly turn to Jimin who’s still scanning every inch of the room. “How are your roommates?” you ask, shifting your eyes between Jimin and Taehyung. Taehyung’s smoothly flirting with all three of the girls without them noticing. Jimin sits down on your bed, getting at home immediately. “It was empty when we arrived, have yet to meet them.” he says.

Looking out the window you see the sun is shining. Now that you’re here you’d like to get to know the place. So you suggest that you all take a stroll around the camp, in which Irene says she wants to do that later since she wants to sleep, Jiwoo, Sun-hee and Mee-yon agree with her, claiming they want to unpack their belongings. That brings you to Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook, looking eager at each of them as they look back at you. “I’m down.” Taehyung shrugs and Jimin and Jungkook nod towards you.

Walking outside, the sun hits your skin. You’re wearing a white crop top with blue jean shorts that go down to your knees. Feeling the breeze pass through your legs you take some steps until you were stood on the grass. Turning around, you see three boys fanning their hands on their face, all three of them wearing black sweaters and hoodies with jeans. Sighing, you silently judge them for wearing such warm clothes in this weather and predict all the complaints that will come.

After the walk, you return to your room. You had met a few new people that joined your stroll and showed you around, telling you how stuff works around here and so on, hearing heavy breathing and small complaints about the weather here and there from the boys. They can only blame themselves for that. It had now become dark outside and a little cooler so you wanted to fetch a sweater. While back at your room, Irene and your roommates were sitting on opposite beds playing cards and talking. You greeted them and told them you were going out to the beach with the beach and asked if they wanted to come along. They said yes and now you all headed towards the boys room. Knocking at the door and opening it the same second, you were greeted with the boys along with two new unfamiliar faces. They all turned their heads towards you. You apologized for stepping in since you thought only Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were inside. The two new people just smiled looking at the group of girls which just entered their room. “No worries love, I’m Hoseok and this is Namjoon” one of the men said and pointed at his friends next to him. Not gonna lie, they both looked rather attractive and fun to be around so you asked them if they wanted to come along to the beach. When you did, Jungkook, and Jimin snapped their heads towards you with a stern look on their faces. Confused, you looked away from them and met eyes with Hoseok and Namjoon, seeing their pretty smiles. “We’d love to,” Hoseok said, seeming thankful for your invite. Returning the smiles with an even greater smile. Then you headed out, all of them grabbing a sweater to drag on, the boys oddly quiet while Hoseok and Namjoon tried getting to know you and the girls.

Arriving at the beach, you all sat down on the sand, kicking off your shoes in order to bury your feet in the cool sand. Namjoon and Hoseok sit on either side of you, perhaps a little too close but you didn’t mind. You talked about your life and they did the same. Leaning back on your arms, you look straight out into the water. Seeing Taehyung teasing Jiwoo and Mee-yon by splashing water on them, hearing them laugh made you chuckle to yourself. Jungkook and Jimin sat in front of you whispering to each other, every now and then glancing back towards you. It didn’t seem like Jungkook and Jimin liked their roommates very much, you had yet to figure that out but for now you just wanted to enjoy the moment and look ahead of what was to come this month.

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gubler-me-up · 4 years

Text

Perfectionism

Request: HELLOO, I’ve had an idea for literally months in my head but I wouldn’t be able to write it as good as you 🥺 Would you mind doing a Spencer reaction to his crush having bad body dysmorphia that they’ve been hiding from the team (they’re working for bau) but at a case or smn someone they’re interviewing comments negatively on their body and they break down once they think they’re alone? But Spence sees and reaches out and it’s really wholesome and soft? I’m a sucker for angsty fluff I’m sorry 😔

A/N: Thanks for the prompt anon, much appreciated! I hope this does justice to your well thought-out idea. I hope it satisfies all your angsty fluff needs! Side note, to everyone of my followers/readers I hope you know you’re beautiful and finding love/happiness within yourself takes time, but trust the process, loves ❤️ Enjoy!

Category: Angsty fluff

Content warning: Swearing, mention of violence, self degradation

Word count: 2.3k

---------------

You stood in front of the mirror inside the police department’s washroom. You finished applying another thick layer of foundation on your face. You knew applying this much makeup to your face wasn’t good. Your dermatologist even recommended against it and advised you to let your skin breathe for a while to prevent over clogging your pores. He didn’t understand the problem of doing that though.

Without the concealer masking the dark circles under your eyes, you’d probably look dead. Maybe even worse. Without the foundation, your acne and healing acne scars would definitely bring unwanted attention to your face. It was certain to happen.

You had to wear them all the time, especially at work. You thought of how JJ probably never had to go through this. Her face was free of any sort of marks or blemishes. She always looked alive with her bright blue eyes with no heavy bags insight. No wonder Spencer had a crush on her a few years back.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the vibrations of your phone on the bathroom counter. You looked down to see Spencer’s name pop up informing you it was time to interview the suspect. A sigh left your mouth as you started packing up your products into your travel beauty kit.

As you walked out of the door, you noticed Spencer at the end of the poorly lit hall leading back out to the main lobby. When he noticed you were walking down the hall towards him, he smiled and waved. Sometimes you thought he was the cutest genius in the world.

“Hey, didn’t know you were waiting for me,” you said.

He shrugged. “Thought it would be nice for us to walk to the interview room together.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

He nodded as you both started walking towards the interview room. You couldn’t help noticing he kept on looking at you. Especially your face. What if he saw your acne scars? Or even the acne itself? What if he was just noticing how strange your face looked?

You stopped walking. “Why do you keep staring at me?”

He stopped walking as well as he gave you a questionable look. “What?”

“Is there a reason you keep looking at my face?” You asked.

He shook his head. “No, no reason, I just-”

“You just what?” You said before he even finished his sentence.

Spencer was taken back by your tone. Your words made it seem as if he was attacking you. You could tell from his confused facial expression. Before he could get a chance to pull his words together, you started walking again.

“Forget it. Let’s just focus on this interview.”

Spencer watched as you walked by him. He trailed behind you, trying his best not to say anything else. You knew you shouldn’t have snapped at him the way you did, but you couldn’t bear the possibility of him pointing out a flaw. You just knew he could see everything you tried so hard to hide.

As you two reached the interview room door you felt Spencer gently grab your arm. You turned to him to see how concerned he looked. Before you said anything he made sure to get the first few words out.

“Y/N, I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable back there. Whatever’s troubling you I’m here to help you get through it,” he assured you.

You smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate you, Spence. For now, let’s put what happened behind us for now and go interview this guy.”

Reid smiled as he gently squeezed your arm before letting you go. It felt nice having him reassure you, but he didn’t even know what he was reassuring you about. Maybe he didn’t notice your facial imperfections at all. Maybe he was genuinely admiring your face.

You opened up the interview room to see a dark-haired, middle-aged, white man sitting across the table. He was well put together with a buttoned-up blue shirt, black tie and his hair was slicked back. Physically he matched the profile perfectly. He looked as if he exuded arrogance as your profile detected the unsure would be like. He tried to keep a cool and emotionless demeanour, but by his furrowed eyebrows and wrinkling forehead, he was becoming impatient.

“Hello, I’m agent Y/N Y/L/N and this is Dr. Spencer Reid. Adam Boyer, correct?” You said as you and Spencer took your seats.

“Glad you can read documents, agent,” he scoffed.

“I wouldn’t get so smart-mouthed yet, Boyer. According to some sketchy transactions between you, John McNeil and Robert Morrison it seems as if you have a lot to hide for someone so vocal,” you said.

He squinted his eyes at you. “What does this even have to do with anything?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but those two men are dead. You were the last person to contact both of them the day they died. A transaction of over half a million dollars goes missing and you get mad and-“

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, agent, but I didn’t murder my colleagues over money. My company makes more than that in a day, so spare me of your pathetic accusations.”

Before you could reply, Spencer jumped in to level out the tension between you and Boyer. He opened a file on the desk and pointed to a bank statement.

“It says here on your financial records your company is $1.5 million dollars in debt. We discovered Robert Morrison and John McNeil both gave you back their shares of the company to equate $500,000, which is legally a breach in the company’s contract for workers, including yourself, to share, distribute or give away company shares without a reasonable cause. According to the list of reasonable cause you failed to mention bankruptcy or were too arrogant at the time to force something like that happening to you,” Spencer said.

With everything he said, you could tell Boyer’s cool exterior was wearing off. He looked glossier in the face, started fidgeting with his tie and refused to look directly at Spencer. He decided to direct his attention to you instead.

“Well, isn’t that a huge mistake on my part, ain’t it?” He asked directly to you.

“Huge mistake or huge flaw in your plan of getting away with murdering your colleagues? I think it’s the second one, Boyer,” you said.

He leaned back in his chair without breaking any eye contact with you. He folded his hand in front of his chest. You had to admit he made your feel a bit uncomfortable.

“What else do you think?” He asked.

“I think you murdered your colleagues when they found out you had taken back their share of the company to pay back your debts. They would have ratted you out, got you fired from your own company or even worse, the whole company would have shut down and you’d have nothing left.”

“Nothing left,” Boyer said seemingly to himself.

“Yes, absolutely nothing. Your wife divorced you, took full custody of your two boys and now you spend your days throwing your money-approximately $1.5 million dollars-on trying to buy love from escorts,” you said.

It was as if something had woken up inside of him as he almost pounced across the table. Both you and Spencer got out of your seats with Spencer using his arm to block the front of you. It was as if it was a natural instinct for him to protect you before bracing himself.

“Sit down,” Spencer demanded.

“At least I have escorts willing to ride my dick. You couldn’t even pay a male stripper to look at that face of yours. Where’s the pretty agent who was in here before? If I’m going to be accused of a crime, I’d rather be accused by someone half decent looking. Get my fucking lawyer on the phone,” he proceeded to yell.

Though you shouldn’t have felt as bad as you did by the words he said, you did. The blunt force in his voice was vicious. The way he looked at you in disgust. His disgust was too real. He was bold enough to look at you the way everyone wanted to, but was too cautious to do it in front of your face.

“I’ll get your lawyer on the phone, you psycho,” you whispered before turning around to leave.

“Don’t forget to bring the real eye candy in as well, sweetheart,” he said.

You didn’t bother looking back at him or even Spencer. You felt your eyes get heavy with tears and knew it would be terrible to show weakness to such a vile suspect. You rushed out of the room before Spencer could stop you or even follow you close behind.

You rushed towards the washroom as your tears were at the brim of your eyes. As you reached the door, you paused. What if someone was in there? What if Emily or JJ saw you crying? You retracted your steps and decided to go to the family washroom instead.

You didn’t even wait until the door was fully closed before letting out your tears. You heavily wept to yourself as you replayed everything he had said to you. Spencer probably stood there agreeing with everything he said, word for word. Your face being hideous, JJ’s beauty surpassing the little you had, no one wanting you. You backed up against the wall to avoid the mirror, to avoid the disgusting reflection in the mirror.

The only reason you looked up was that you heard the washroom door open. You saw Spencer peak in. When he saw the tears running down your face, he didn’t hesitate to go over to you with concern written all over his face.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? I hope he didn’t get to you,” he said as he reached out his hands.

You assumed he was going to try to wipe the tears from your face, so you pushed away his hands. You couldn’t stand the thought of him touching your face if he thought it was hideous. You didn’t even want him looking at you directly. You looked down to avoid your face being in the presence of his.

He attempted to lift your head up by placing his hand on your chin. You flinched at his touch and moved your head out of his grasp. New tears started to spill from your eyes as you looked at him with despair.

“Can you stop, Spencer?” You wept.

He looked at you confused. “Stop what?”

“Looking at me. I know my face is ugly, okay? Everyone knows and it’s just degrading for you to pretend not to notice,” you snapped at him.

“Y/N, what are you talking about? There’s nothing wrong with your face.”

“Spencer, I know you see it. My acne and acne scars. It doesn’t help that my face is always shiny and my cheeks are chubby. You don’t have to pretend to be blind to it for the sake of my feelings.”

“You thought I was looking at you earlier because you think I think you’re ugly? Y/N that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

You rolled your eyes. “Then why were you looking at me? Be honest.”

“Because I think you’re gorgeous.”

“Ugh, Spencer, you don-”

He grabbed both your hands in his big ones, grasping them tightly. You looked down at your hands in his and then looked up into his eyes. He looked longingly at you. You could see the genuine look of love in his face.

“Y/N, I know what you’re going through. Body dysmorphia’s not an easy thing to fight off by yourself, but I want to assure you every day that I think you’re the most beautiful person I know; both inside and out.”

You let out a deep breath as you felt round three of tears coming to your eyes. Honestly, you couldn’t think of a moment you felt genuinely pretty. His words could move mountains.

“But if Adam Boyer could-”

“Please don’t let a psychopath make you feel unsure of yourself. He only belittled you because he lost control of the situation and decided to target you. His idea of a perfect girl is someone he can dominate, which makes him disgusting not you.”

He let go of your right hand as he wiped away a tear making its way down your face. You grasped his left hand hard as he touched your face. It still made you feel uncomfortable, but you were happy Spencer cared deeply for you.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have touched your face if you’re not comfortable with that yet. I know it takes time to breakdown this idea of what perfect is especially with so many beauty standards being pushed by society, but I’ll be here to help you realize you’re the most beautiful you. I wouldn’t want you to be any other way,” he said.

You smiled at his words as you wiped away the few stray tears running down your face. You had to admit you liked it better when he did it. You leaned your head back, took a deep breath, let it out and then looked at Spencer.

“Thank you for being you. I wouldn’t want you to be any other way as well,” you said.

He smiled. “I’ll always be here for you, Y/N. If you want me to be that is.”

“I do. I really do.”

“Maybe after we’re done with this case we can do something together to help you remember the beautiful person you are.”

“I’d love that.”

You both walked towards the washroom door. Spencer made sure not to let go of your hand until you two left the washroom. You felt as if he wanted you to grasp onto the positive energy he had for you. You felt uplifted in a way. This must be the benefit of the Spencer Reid effect.

—–

MASTERLIST

1K notes · View notes

everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 6)

Last time, we talked about Natsume's growing crush on Mikan. As the festival continues, his feelings will only grow. Today we'll discuss how these new feelings will affect him, and particularly how they have the potential to create tension in his friendship with Ruka.

Chapter Twenty-One

Mikan is guilty for not having already gone to Iinchou’s haunted house in the latent ability class area. So they end up going together. Although Mikan is easily distracted and wants to try everything in the latent area, Natsume is strict on going straight to the destination with no tangents.

Iinchou lets them in right away without having to wait in the hour-long line. Mikan puts on airs about being a country girl and, just like she’s unafraid of bugs, she’s also not afraid of ghosts. Except she totally is.

Ruka and Natsume don’t seem particularly scared of the haunted house so far, but Mikan is, and she clings to Ruka, desperate not to be left behind, even if it means she hurts him with her grasp.

The person who posted these TokyoPop scans forgot a couple pages so for the longest time the beginning of the chapter was so confusing to me...

Natsume looks behind to see them and is jealous, yet again. Just like with Tsubasa, Natsume is unhappy with his fate to be the bad guy in general. He goes out of his way to look bad to protect people and as a result will not be the one clung to. It’s different from Tsubasa though, because this isn’t some nameless middle schooler that Natsume can take his anger out on: this is his best friend, somebody he’s never felt anything but affection for. Natsume doesn’t want to hurt Ruka; he’s just sad that the situation is so messed up.

Lucky for Ruka, Natsume gives up before there can even be a competition.

It’s for the best this way, after all. For Ruka to be happy, for Mikan to be with somebody kind who deserves her, and even for him, because maybe this way Mikan won’t be used against him like everybody else he cares about.

Natsume makes this decision without talking to anybody and before anyone can even figure out that there’s a choice to be made in the first place.

Then they run into a crawling hag and nobody’s immune to the terror that being chased after by that demon brings. All three of them run for it, but they end up in a new spooky room, which freaks Mikan out so much she screams and faints, foaming at the mouth, causing Natsume to fall and twist his ankle and for Ruka’s rabbit to run off. He chases after it, leaving Natsume and Mikan alone. Iinchou breaks whatever causes the electricity to run in the building and now they’re trapped alone in the dark, unable to get out.

Mikan tries to figure out a way for them to escape, but climbing the wall is out of the question since Natsume’s ankle is twisted. He suggests that he blow up the wall, but Mikan is adamantly against that idea because the latent students worked hard to make the mansion. Natsume acquiesces. That’s fine. He doesn’t mind spending more time with her. It just means she’ll have to stay in the dark for longer.

She is very clingy when she’s scared, and although he complains he doesn’t really make any moves to get her off. I mean, why would he? This is exactly what he wanted, though he did only get it because he was the only person around that she could cling to. There’s a moment where he spooks her, perhaps so she would hug him more, but then she whines for him to stop scaring her and the panels are quite sparkly. Natsume is distressed about his new crush and the effect it has on him. Really her whining and puppy-dog eyes are not any less powerful on Natsume than they are on Ruka. He’s just better at hiding it.

He looks at her softly and then has a moment where he looks almost peeved to have felt so fond at all... but it won't last. These days he has more affection for her than irritation.

Mikan tries apologizing about getting angry with him at Anna’s cafe, but he pretends like he has no idea what she’s talking about. To me, this cements that Natsume wants to look bad to her in particular. He doesn’t really want her to figure out that he’s kind deep down or that he’s selfless 99% of the time. He doesn’t want her to think he cares at all because it’s best for him to continue being the same jerk he has been for the past twenty chapters. He’s okay with her hating him, because that way she won’t become the new Ruka, used by the academy as a pawn to get him to jump through more hoops.

She tries to make him smile and that’s another big deal. Most people think Natsume is cool for being so unaffected. His fans think he’s the man, a tough guy who frowns all the time. Even Ruka’s approach to this issue was to stop smiling too.

Mikan’s approach is to tell jokes.

Of course, it doesn’t work, and the jokes aren’t any good, but Mikan is trying something nobody else has done: instead of looking up to him or going down to his level of misery, Mikan’s trying to lift him up. She wants him to smile and be happy and that sets her apart. She’s immature and childish and that brings out the childishness in him too. And like I mentioned a while ago, childishness in Natsume is a good thing. With her, he can bicker and argue and tease like he used to before he came to the academy. She has no idea what he’s going through and her mood changes so quickly she can’t even stay mad or upset. She’s just a joyful and loud girl who rubs off on everyone she meets and Natsume is far from being an exception.

He can just mess around like a kid for once. He doesn't have to be serious around her all the time.

Thus, the next important thing in regards to analyzing their relationship is that the last page of the chapter has him teasing her and then smiling at her reaction. We’ve only seen Natsume smile twice before: with Youichi for a brief moment, and then with Ruka on the cover for Chapter Sixteen (Natsume's evil smile when Mikan gets bullied by middle schoolers doesn't count as a real smile). This officially adds Mikan to the incredibly short list of people who can make Natsume smile. She’s angry with him, arguing, but being able to let go of all his darkness and just tease a girl and have her act with such strong emotions is enough to make him happy. And that’s what this is: Natsume is happy.

Chapter Twenty-Three

The musical creates some tension between Natsume and Ruka, as expected, because liking the same girl can make rifts between friends. On the other hand, this isn’t your typical love triangle. Usually in love triangles, the two guys are already positioned against each other. Though Natsume and Ruka may be opposites in many ways, they are not rivals at all. They love each other, and that love is not at all damaged by the conflict of falling for the same girl; it just becomes tense between them.

In fact, the beginning of the chapter has some Class B pals eagerly going backstage to find Ruka before the somatic ability class musical. When they find him, Natsume is the only one to not laugh at or tease him, and seems to be the only one really concerned with Ruka’s feelings about being cast as Snow White.

When the sticky ball incident occurs, there’s a lot more damage done than there is in the anime. In the anime, some cast and crew get stuck, but ultimately nobody was in any real danger of being hurt. In the manga, there were potentially catastrophic consequences for the blast and a lot of equipment got damaged in the process. A somatic child playing one of the seven dwarves is about to be hit by a stagelight when Natsume rushes to get him out of the way, resulting in them getting stuck together. If Natsume hadn’t stepped in, that kid could have gotten really injured, at least.

As a result of Natsume’s heroism, Narumi suggests that he dress up as a forest friend. When Natsume refuses, the child is to be kicked out of the play, and the seven dwarves will be changed to six. Natsume sees the kid pout and with absolutely no more need for convincing he goes to get changed into a cat outfit.

This is noteworthy because the cat outfit is humiliating (not that Natsume hasn’t worn similar things in official art… just saying) and it’s something he truly does not want to do, but he does it, even though he doesn’t even know the kid. It’s some random somatic kid, not Ruka or Youichi or even Mikan, and yet he goes out of his way to do something truly selfless so that the kid can perform what he’s practiced. Natsume is kind in quiet ways, and not just with the people he cares about. Like with Anna, Natsume puts the needs of someone he isn’t close to in front of his own reputation.

Now, Natsume is in a horrible mood, embarrassed to be seen in the costume, and Ruka is confused why he’d even bother, until he sees the smile on the little kid and everything snaps into place for him. Mikan is a very intuitive and emotional girl who can sense things about all sorts of people, but when it comes to Natsume, nobody knows him better than Ruka, who can tell right away the motives for any of his actions.

I work at a restaurant and kids Natsume's age will be like, "I don't want a kids' menu" and act all grown up and then see how big the adult portions are, so they end up eating the Cub Pancake anyway LMAO. Do you want extra whipped cream and chocolate chips, Natsume?

Onto the actual NatsuMikan portion of this analysis, at long last, Mikan is overjoyed to see how adorable he is in his costume and she is the only one who won’t hold back from saying so because she’s not scared of him. I’ve seen someone complaining that Natsume says “Don’t call men cute,” but I always found that line funny because Natsume is a literal ten-year-old boy… He is not a man at all. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect a kid to say, especially one who wants to be a grown-up as soon as possible, which makes the line endearing to me, but that’s my personal feelings about it. (Like the above caption, I find it very amusing when little kids pretend they're all grown up.)

Anyway, Natsume is as much an idiot as he is in the anime, volunteering Mikan to be the prince, even using one of his three wishes to make it happen. This is all motivated by his feelings of humiliation, and he’s taking it out on her, arguing that he doesn’t want to wear the outfit for no reason so the show has to go on no matter the cost--but this will bite him in the ass sooner rather than later.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The chapter begins and Mikan is very nervous about playing the prince, particularly about looking the part as she is very uncomfortable with her hair down.

This is actually the first time we see Natsume’s feelings about it, but he’ll only make it more clear in about ten more chapters. Here, Mikan wonders if she should put her hair back up and Natsume snaps, “No!” before walking away in a huff. It’s a small scene, and it’s even told through tiny text, but it’s enough to let any reader paying attention know that Natsume also thinks Mikan looks cute with her hair down. Yes, he’s embarrassed to have said anything, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t say it.

Don't worry about him, he's just in a bad mood.

Natsume mainly observes, and nothing noteworthy happens. He eventually goes and gives his line and his aura alone is threatening enough to discourage anyone from laughing or “aww”ing.

The next important moment is when Mikan sees the stage direction to kiss the princess directly on the lips. Narumi says it’s because he’s trying to make up for the loss of sizzle due to the accident, but knowing him, there’s probably more to it. Naru likes stirring the pot and causing drama, although I can hardly tell what his motives are half the time. Truly, I believe he is the most mysterious character in the whole story.

Natsume does not allow this to happen, so he throws something at Mikan’s head--some random box thing--and Hotaru shuts off the lights.

Natsume does something kind of selfish here. He didn’t want them to kiss, so he stopped it. The fact that he grabbed the first thing he saw meant it was a sudden choice to chuck it. I wonder if he had any intentions of just toughing it out and dealing with it, but eventually jealousy won out and he did the selfish thing.

When I say selfish, I don’t mean “bad”. I just mean that for once Natsume is acting based on what he wants, rather than what will make somebody else happy. When it comes to this kid in particular, I actually want him to do selfish things more often, because he very rarely does. He’s been selfless and heroic enough for one day, having saved a kid from getting injured and then wearing that embarrassing costume. He’s allowed to have done this one thing for selfish reasons.

It’s not like it was a bad thing to do either. It would have only benefited Narumi, and possibly the somatic class to have a spicy musical kiss, but it wouldn’t have been good for Ruka or Mikan. Having their first kiss under such conditions, especially when Mikan was just doing the class a favor by acting in the play to begin with, would have been sad. Natsume essentially saved her from the consequences of his own actions, because it would have been his fault if they’d had no choice but to go through with it.

Moreover, like I said earlier, Ruka can simply tell what Natsume’s motives are from a single look. It’s more obvious in the anime, of course, but I still think manga!Ruka is aware that Natsume intervened. He knows Natsume better than anybody, and he’s too smart to think that box came out of nowhere.

This is just the beginning of a long-standing tension between them, one that they will dance around and pretend isn’t happening for quite a while before actually addressing it properly. For now, they have undiscussed feelings and jealousies that will go unchecked and unresolved for some time, building an even deeper divide between them. After all, Natsume and Ruka have enough of a gap on account of Natsume’s missions and his general feelings of not being able to fit in with anybody. This only broadens the gap.

Chapter Twenty-Six

The dance will be very fun to analyze from Mikan’s perspective, but we’re not nearly finished with Natsume’s, so that will have to wait.

For now, we’ll discuss Natsume’s softening, which Permy points out bitterly on account of being surrounded by closet fans. Previously, she says, they were terrified of him, and why wouldn’t they be? We talked ad nauseam about Natsume’s first thirteen chapters of misery and coldness. He was a scary and unkind guy, definitely unapproachable. Even his admirers in Class B were scared of him, equal parts affection and terror. In a very short time, Natsume has softened and it’s obvious. He even dressed as a cat for the somatic musical! His reputation for being cold and dangerous is softening and the girls who used to fear him are now flocking to him to ask if he’s willing to accept their last dance proposals.

But with all this talk about romance and dancing, Mikan feels left out and can’t relate. Her frustrations only grow when some girls start gossiping about her and she ends up taking it out on Natsume, saying she would never ever wanna dance with Natsume for the last dance. He brushes this off, but he still pouts, obviously affected and a little hurt. Their relationship was on the rise, after all. They were starting to hang out more and were bickering often, something Natsume doesn’t make a habit of doing with most people. But just because Natsume is feeling more fondness for her, that doesn't mean she feels the same way.

He expects this in some way, of course, because it's partially his intention. He expects that she would only tolerate him after everything that happened with them, but that doesn't mean he likes the feeling of rejection.

They're so cute when they pout!

Having a crush is bad enough, but hearing that girl shout that she’d never wanna go out with you is even harder, even if you were maybe purposefully making her angry with you to try and protect her. It would be a tough emotion to bear, especially for a kid unversed in romance. He proceeds to be just as huffy as her.

And as twisted as it is, I’m happy for him.

Natsume was cold and mean and difficult to talk to before he fell for Mikan. Now he’s way more approachable and expressive, willing on occasion to show an emotion that isn’t rage, like hurt or grumpiness or amusement. He can now sit at his desk and pout, something he wasn’t doing before, like a kid throwing a fit.

At the actual dance, Natsume is still hurt, still pouting. It doesn’t help that Mikan glares at him upon spotting him. It’s interesting to see how much this affects him. One girl said something harsh in the heat of the moment and he is taking it so personally. Of course, he gets hurt or angered by many things. Upperclassmen bully him and call him a murderer and he simply uses his alice on them to shut them up. He keeps his face straight, moves on, and forgets it. Naturally, the hurt and resentment sit there in his gut to torment him, because he’s a kid and they’re awful things for anyone to hear, but he’s not acting like that here. Here, he’s grumpy and pouty. His feelings are hurt but they don’t come with urges to punish like being called a murderer does.

And it’s obvious he has no genuine hard feelings because Natsume then shoves Ruka onto Mikan, since Ruka was being transparent about his gaze. He goes on to dance with someone else, anyone else, because Mikan made it clear that she too would rather dance with anyone else, just as long as it wasn’t him. He’s clearly still in a bad mood, though.

He's so used to not getting what he wants that he will do all of Ruka's work for him, so that Ruka can get what he wants.

Later, when Mikan and Natsume are singletons in the middle of the dance floor, they notice each other. Here would be a perfect opportunity to dance, but she made it clear she hated the idea, and he’s not about to embarrass himself to ask. Hence, he huffs again, pouting because there’s no way he’ll ask her to dance once she’s said such harsh things. They stand in silence for just a moment, until he finds some other girl to dance with and leaves Mikan all alone.

They’re both grumpy over the way they’re being treated by the other. Natsume is being immature and petty with his feelings, almost childish (heehee it's all I want for him!). With all the dark and depressing divide between Mikan’s academy life of fun and laughs and Natsume’s life of secret missions and physical abuse, he’s somehow found a way to wedge himself into hers. He’s taking something so minor so seriously. He’s been on the front lines, used his alice to hurt enemies and been hurt by enemies and dangerous ability types alike. He is literally dying and he’s aware of it! But he’s still pouting because the girl he likes was a little mean to him.

But the dance with the girl obviously wasn’t much fun, because Mikan quickly finds him again, away from the party, along a secluded path by some trees. He’s in a pouty mood and obviously needs some time alone with his thoughts.

It shows that he’s done some thinking because he doesn’t even mention her angry words from earlier.

Instead, he just calls the whole festival stupid.

We’re reminded here of a scene from way before they liked each other, when the festival was first announced. Then, she also found him playing with a dog, all on his own, using anger to mask his feelings of hurt. He said the same thing back then, that the whole thing was stupid and it was dumb to get all worked up about it. He’s doing it again now, but it’s a little different this time. Their relationship has changed, improved. They actually care about each other now, and although Natsume starts off just talking through his anger, he eventually turns honest.

The truth is that these periods of childishness will always have to end. It’s just an extended version of the dodgeball game. No matter how much emotion he puts into these experiences, they will be overshadowed by his real life. Now matter how much fun he has, he will always have to stop smiling and go kill himself on Persona’s orders. And even more honestly, the more fun he has, the harder it will be on the people he has fun with. It’s not enough for the ESP and Persona that Natsume completes his missions and does all his work; they find pleasure and relief in his constant misery. The second he cares about something, they use it against him. His joy is never meant to last and will always have consequences for the people he loves.

I hate tumblr's 10 image limit. I hate it. I despise it. I abhor it. I cannot come up with a caption. So instead I'll say again. I hate the 10 image limit.

And so he explains, for once, that he’s simply different from everyone else. The festival is something that doesn’t belong to him. He’s merely been an observer this whole time. He’s never actually been a part of it. And then he tells her that she should stay in the light, stay out of the dark. He calls her naive, but it’s not as much an insult as it used to be.

She is childish and loud and optimistic and annoying and a little sweet and even though he hated all these things about her before, he now realizes that these traits are things to be protected. The more she mingles with him, the darker her life will be. After all, her light is not the only thing that’s contagious: his darkness rubs off on people too, and in his mind it will only hurt her to be involved with him. She should stay in the light--in the shiny, sparkly side of the manga, where everyone is concerned with sports and coming up with ideas for the festival--and keep out of the dark--where there’s murder and blackmail and danger and death. It’s bad enough he can’t keep Youichi or Ruka out of it: Youichi is already in the DA class and Ruka came running after him. He can’t distance himself from them. The most he can do is protect them and raise their star ranks or keep them off of dangerous missions. But with Mikan he has a chance to really protect her, prevent her from being used against him at all. Ideally, she’ll stay away and he won’t need to worry about her as much.

And he wants her to be safe and gone, so when she asks what he means, he changes tactics and decides to be rude and mean instead, telling her to get lost and insulting her. She gets angry and it almost seems like it’ll be another bickering match, where they will both be childish and hurl insults at each other, but he doesn’t take that path.

She is complaining about how he doesn’t seem to know that she has a name, thank you very much--and then he calls her Mikan. He concedes to her demands. He does what he perceives to be the mature, adult thing, ending the argument so she will leave for good. When she has nothing left to argue about, she will have no choice but to walk away, and she does, once he makes it clear that his last command is for her to stop complaining about what he calls her.

Natsume chooses to do the selfless thing again, and gives up the first thing in a long time that made him happy. He barely had any time with her at all, but he lets her go, because she can only continue to be sunny and cheerful away from him. He’s giving up before anyone can tell that something was around for him to give up.

He has no idea how much one word has affected her.

Conclusion

Natsume is a selfless kid. He gives up on what he wants very easily, but especially because he knows that the second he gets what he wants, those things could be destroyed, just by association with him. He just wants the people he loves to be happy, even if it means he could never be.

In the next segment, we'll talk about what Natsume is willing to do to protect Mikan, even if it means being cruel and hurting her. NatsuMikan is the living embodiment of the "break her heart to save her" trope, and I very much adore that trope with my whole heart, so we're going to be having a LOT of fun with the next essay!

Also, disclaimer: I'm not smart. I refuse to take responsibility for any mistakes I make in these essays. There also are no mistakes. I've never misspelled a word in my life.

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sweetpeasgirl · 3 years

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Treat You Better | Sweet Pea

Description: Based on the song “Treat You Better” by Shawn Mendes, Jughead and Y/n’s relationship is at it’s bittersweet end and Sweet Pea, her best friend, is there to defend her

Word Count: 2.3k

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Female!Reader

Warnings: Kinda angsty but not really

Tags: Angst, FLUFF

The White Wrym is not where you thought you would spend your Saturday night but Jughead had said that he needed to take care of a few things and you didn't want to be blown off again. You understand that he's busy, you really do. He's the son of the former Serpent leader; of course he's going to have a lot more on his plate. You just didn't think he'd push you off of it- the plate.

Sweet Pea had warned you about that. It was the latest topic of argument between you. For best friends, the two of you fight a lot. You know he's just trying to look out for you, that's been his role since the two of you were kids. He's in the grade above you, and was originally your older brother's friend, but they fell out a couple years ago. He never left you though.

He's always been the one watching your back. At first he just kept you out of harm's way, whether that be from grade school bullies or the men who lurk in alleyways when you're trying to walk home. Now, though, he has to watch out for boys who say they care about you but don't. He has to watch out for heartbreak.

That's where Jughead comes in. Sweet Pea is just being his overprotective self, like usual. Sure, you've had your fair share of walking out into the busy street with your head down, and he's had to pull you back quite a few times, but this is different. He can't save a heart that's supposed to break. Jughead does care about you, or at least he did when you first got together last year. Some things, however, just aren't meant to last forever.

Forever is a long time and time has a funny way of changing things.

"Juggie, it's your turn," your voice is quiet as you hand him the wooden pool cue, trying not to draw attention to yourself.

It's cold in the bar and you had been alerted so suddenly that date night was getting moved here that you didn't have time to grab a sweater. You can feel the stares burning into uncovered shoulders. It puts you on edge as Jughead accepts the cue from your shaky hands and takes his shot absentmindedly. Something's going on in his head, you can tell by the way he furrows his eyebrows and watches the people around him.

You, meanwhile, are trying hard not to look anywhere but the green felt of the pool table. There's commotion all around you. Shouts can be heard from the bar and the sound of smashing bottles that accompanies them. There's laughter coming from somewhere else but it doesn't sound friendly. Whatever it's about is cruel; it’s something that should not be made a joke of.

You're definitely way out of your comfort zone. Hell, you're way out of your un-comfort zone. You're just plain scared and, with the lack of conversation that Jughead is providing, the regret is bubbling quick in your chest. You almost wish he would just break up with you so you can cry and move on already.

"Jughead," a loud voice breaks the awkward silence around the crowded pool table, "there you are boy. We can finally discuss what you wanted to talk about now."

A tall, middle aged man with light brown hair and a weeks worth of beard growth pats your boyfriend on the back. Jughead shoots you an apologetic look as he passes the pool cue back to you once more. Your blood runs cold as he starts to walk in the opposite direction with the newcomer. He's seriously leaving you alone, in a room full of people who honestly aren't the safest characters, on what was supposed to be your night. Something happened to the boy you first knew and this just settled what you already thought. It’s over.

Your eyes blur with unshed tears at the hurt and fear circulating through your veins. He disappears from sight and the dark atmosphere gets hazier as you grip the side of the table to keep yourself steady. You can once again feel the stares burning into your back. It's like they were waiting for you to be left unattended. When you're with Jughead, the heir of the Serpent crown, you can't be touched. When you're with Sweet Pea, their deadly warrior, you can't be touched. When it's just you, though, anything goes.

You don't know what to do. It's only a matter of time before someone approaches you and when that happens you'll be in a situation that you probably won't be able to get yourself out of. That's the one thing your mother always told not to do; never put yourself into a situation that you can't get out of. Sweet Pea would not be happy.

"Y/n, what the hell are you doing here?"

Case in point. You jump at the sound of his voice but spin around instantly and bury yourself into his chest nonetheless. The tears fall down your face before you can stop them but you really couldn't care less. The smell of leather and pine surrounds you and warmth finally fills your body. Apparently you're colder than you had originally thought.

The relief that fills you is unmeasurable and you cling to Sweet Pea tightly, "It was supposed to be our night but-” you hiccup, tugging on his jacket- “I didn't want to miss another date night-” another hiccup- “I didn't want to-” you rub your forehead against his chest, your voice now just a whisper- “he left."

Your thoughts come out scrambled and between ugly sobs but it's enough for Sweet Pea to gather the overall picture of what happened. After all, he has been doing this for a while. He tightens his arms around you, the anger radiating off his uncovered skin in heated waves.

"He left you? Here?" Sweet Pea is seething when he pulls back.

He lifts you to sit on the edge of the pool table, the game laying discarded behind you. The visual reminder only makes the tears come faster and the warmth leave your bones again. You start shivering but this time you can't steel yourself enough to stop, the realization dawning before you can lie to yourself again. You and Jughead are done. You have been for a long time now and everyone else saw it before you did.

"Pea, we're over," you can't raise your voice above a harsh whisper, covering your raw face with your hands to suffocate the onslaught of cries you can feel bubbling to the surface, "we're over now. You were right."

You close your eyes to avoid staring into Sweet Pea's murderous chocolate ones. All you feel now is the ice circling your veins.

"Baby, hey," a large jacket that smells too much like Sweet Pea to not belong to him is draped over your shoulders, "it's okay. We'll go home."

The anger seeps out of his voice and you peer up to see the concerned face of your best friend once more. He's looking at you in the same way he was the time fell out of Jughead's tree house. You had blacked out from the fall and woke up in the hospital with a broken leg. He was so scared that he didn't leave your side for a minute. But it's different now, you're not physically hurt, so he shouldn't look worried.

You let out a sorrowful breath and just nod your head, a deep weariness settling over your being. At least you're getting what you had wanted. A clean break.

"Y/n, can we talk?"

You hadn't noticed Jughead come back but now he stands a little behind Sweet Pea who is still in front of you. Sweet Pea instantly turns at the sound of his voice, the rage back and in full swing. You just lower your head, too tired to keep it up.

"Jones you're so lucky I'm not beating the crap out of you right now. I didn't think you were stupid enough to leave her here but I guess I was wrong! You're just lucky I happened to be here. And that she doesn't hate you." Sweet Pea spits his words at Jughead

"Look, man, can I just talk to my girlfriend?" Jughead's voice is monotone, both of you knowing he's just calling you his so that he can officially end it once and for all.

It's for the best and you both know it. His phrasing, however, doesn't go over well with Sweet Pea.

"Are you serious right now? Or is this a sick joke? You forfeit that title when you left her as free game for anyone in this place,” Sweet Pea steps towards him and you hold your breath, knowing quite well who would win the fight if one were to ensue. “You're dating the most beautiful girl in this shitty town and you treat her like she doesn't even matter! If it was me she wouldn't be crying on a damn table, she would know damn well just how much I love her!"

Your head snaps up at his words, your breath hitching in your throat. The commotion of the bar is drowned out around you and all you can see is Sweet Pea's back. He can't really love you, can he? He's just making a point, being the best friend he always has been. The logic makes sense to you but you can feel your heart breaking for the second time tonight because of it.

You place a hand on Sweet Pea's shoulder, drawing his attention back to you, "it's okay Pea, I should talk to him at least."

He doesn't look happy but he nods, helping you off the table and moving to the side to let you pass. You look at Jughead and toss him a melancholy smile. It's wrapped with bittersweet memories from all your late night's at Pop's and early mornings coming back from the drive-in. Jughead and you had some pretty good times despite your inevitable end. Maybe, just maybe, though, you can make it a peaceful end.

"Y/n I do love you," Jughead takes his beanie off and runs his hand through his already messy, raven locks, "but not like I did before. Somewhere between moving here and, well, taking on the role of my dad I let us fall apart. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Juggie. I probably wasn't putting as much effort in as I could have," he scoffs at that, a guilty smirk on his face.

You both know that you gave this relationship your all. But, standing here now with Sweet Pea's eyes searing into your back, it's pretty clear that your heart was forming attachments with another person. Which means that sooner or later you and Jughead would have fallen apart anyway. Sometimes these kinds of things are no one's fault. It's a mutual heartbreak and when it needs to happen, it needs to happen.

"You know, y/n, I don't feel too bad about losing you to him."

You furrow your brows at his comment, your voice cracking slightly when you speak, "what do you mean? He was just saying all that stuff. Pea doesn't love me."

Jughead rolls his eyes and glances quickly at Sweet Pea before walking closer to you. You can tell he doesn't want him to hear what he's about to say.

"Y/n that boy is in over his head. It's a feeling I can relate very much to but listen to me," his eyes capture yours in a serious stare, "he's going to treat you better than I ever could. He's not going to leave you in dangerous situations or bail on plans. Can't you see he'd take a bullet for you?"

Your heart races at his words and you spare a glance at Sweet Pea. He's already looking at you, the worry back in his mesmerizing eyes. He raises an eyebrow at you, pulling a smile to your lips. Maybe Jughead is right. Maybe you love Sweet Pea as more than a best friend.

Looking at him now, his tanned skin glowing under the dim lights and his dark brown hair pushed behind his ears, there's no doubt in your mind that you're attracted to him. Sweet Pea has always looked handsome in your eyes, even after a fight with purple bruises staining his face. You think back to all the times he's been there when you needed him most. That boy drops whatever he's doing when you call; no matter if you're just bored or looking for someone to nap next to he’s there next to you. You've always felt at home when you're with him. Hell, you have a drawer in his room devoted to your clothes.

Sweet Pea loves you and you're pretty damn sure that you love him too.

Turning back to Jughead, you nod your head, "I'd take one for him too."

"Good. I think I'll leave now. Thanks for everything, y/n," Jughead pulls you into one last hug before heading out the door.

You pull Sweet Pea's jacket tighter around you as you walk back towards him. He gathers you once more into his chest and you let the last of your tears fall. There will never be a time when parting isn't such sweet sorrow. It's the beginning of something new but also the end of something that you once thrived on. However, wrapped completely in Sweet Pea's scent, you've never felt like you belonged somewhere so much.

"Ready to go home baby?"

"Yeah Pea. Let's go home."

#Sweet Pea #sweet pea riverdale #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x you #sweet pea x y/n #sweet pea imagine #riverdale #riverdale imagine #jughead jones #riverdale series #reader insert

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thedreadvampy · 3 years

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talking to my mum last night and getting fucked up about the degree of trauma my grandparents' generation faced and how. unwilling and ill-equipped the care system is for the obvious fact that there's a huge incidence of PTSD and complex lifelong mental health issues in those generations

grannie was 17 when she became a nurse and she was working immediately in London at the height of the Blitz. her first day she saw blown apart children and had to comfort their parents. she was almost hit by a rocket cycling home.

grandpa spent the whole war in labour camps before being trapped behind the Iron Curtain in the ruins of Dresden, almost dead from starvation from the camp, for another 3 years before making it back to Blackpool to find out his parents had died in his absence.

granny got radiation sickness at 13 from being put under an X-ray with no protection and forgotten about for hours; she lost all her hair and developed chronic pain and health problems. after years of severe physical, emotional and sexual abuse from her family and the men around her, she got engaged to an American pilot who was shot down and killed in the last month of the war. her former boyfriend came back a dissociative shell of his pre-war self and she ended up trying to raise three small children on her own, with her family at the other end of the country and her husband often having violent flashbacks and outbursts of rage. she was suicidal and had violent psychotic breaks and got institutionalised and medicated on and off her entire adult life.

like. it isn't just the war. people born in the early-mid 20th century, especially women, have been subject to so much sexual trauma, domestic and social violence, bigotry, and grief on grief on grief.

with my granny, it's entirely understandable that she was 'mad'. when I knew her, she was on heavy daily dosage of lithium - she stopped because it was destroying her gut after 30 years and she became violently aggressive, vindictive, scared, psychotic, paranoid, frequently delusional and extremely abusive. She was terrified of doctors because of her repeated experiences with medical abuse, she was furious with everyone around her, she coldly hated her husband and seemed actively happy when he died, and the thing is all of that makes perfect sense because she was profoundly and repeatedly traumatised for at least the first 50-60 years of her life.

but the thing that worries and answers me is that the elder care system and the mental health system are completely unwilling to engage with the fact that many many many old people have severe pre-existing mental health conditions. after all, how many of us have PTSD or psychotic episodes or bipolar or BPD or special care needs related to autism or OCD or ADHD or whatever? those don't just Cease To Exist after a certain age. and our parents and our grandparents grew up in times with much less support for mental health and much less awareness of trauma. granny's early traumas were familial but she was institutionalised repeatedly and treated appallingly throughout her life and that's in itself traumatic.

when granny was 82 and she stopped taking her lithium, she was frail, ill and a danger to herself and others.

they put her on a dementia ward when she was sectioned because she was Old, and Old Mad People Are Demented. but she didn't have dementia! she had chronic PTSD and paranoid delusions but she knew who, where and when she was and she was perfectly sharp, she just wasn't coping. when we went to visit her she'd say furiously 'they think I'm like the other people in here but I'm not, I'm not losing my marbles, I've always been this way'

none of us got any support looking after her while she was in hospital or after she left the inpatient ward - nobody checked in on grandpa while she was in hospital or on weekend release, and after she was released Dad looked after her single-handed while trying to deal with his dad's death. (she may have murdered grandpa while on weekend release, or he may have died of heart failure - either way when she went off the rails after 20 years stable, he gave up on life and I me and my sibling (for the record we were 10 when she left hospital) listening to her trying to continue unpicking her past trauma was I think the most therapy she got after she left.

she couldn't go into a regular elder care home because she was too unstable, she needed specialist mental health care and she sometimes needed to be constrained for her own safety and that of other people. residential mental health care facilities weren't equipped to deal with her needs as a woman in her 80s. she couldn't go into dementia care, which is about the only residential care available for old people with serious mental health needs, because she didn't have dementia and it would have been utterly inappropriate and harmful for her and the other residents. she lived to 93 and for the last 11 years of her life it was up to Dad and us to look after her in her home because there was simply nowhere else for her to go.

and what really fucks me up is that she wasn't past help. a lot of people thought she was but when she left hospital she was trying really hard to continue therapy on her own without a therapist, she drew and wrote about her life and memories and she used to sit opposite me and open up in a way I now utterly recognise as trauma therapy, she would try to find ways to talk about what had hurt her and state into the middle distance for tens of minutes trying to get it together enough to continue. she wanted to do the work. but the only people there for her were her son who was shellshocked from losing his dad and traumatised from effectively losing his mum again and who was spending all his energy just trying to get through work and home and get her physical needs met, and a couple of preteen children who had the will but not the capacity to help. we were barely holding ourselves together (mum drove granny places but mostly her capacity was being spent being about the only support Dad or us could get) and we just couldn't meet the work of a trained therapist. and eventually she gave up on getting better and got angrier and more bitter and more abusive to everyone. but she wanted to feel better. she wanted to deal with her shit. but there was no support.

and there must be thousands of people like her. older people with lifelong trauma and mental health issues who are too mentally ill for elder support and too old for mental health support. and the MH system doesn't think they're worth the resource cost because after all they're old, they'll die soon. but where are they meant to go? and how much harm does unsupported home care do to the person in need of care and to the people carrying for them? it just multiplies trauma down the generations. you can't just expect mental illness to only affect the young when the old have been just as traumatised and you can't treat them as separate issues when old people need carers who are qualified to deal with both their age and their mental health issues.

like yes many people develop late life mental health issues like Alzheimers and dementia, just as many people become disabled for the first time by age. but a lot of people are disabled or mentally ill for decades before they reach anything approaching elderly, and those things don't suddenly go away and don't have the same support needs as late-life issues.

idk. I'm very angry. if there was recognition of the need to support older people with lifelong trauma then my grandpa wouldn't have died hopeless and unsupported, my granny might have got her life back and got some healing after 80 years of living in fear, my dad wouldn't have had his own mental breakdown and slide into paranoia and conspiracy theory, and me and my siblings wouldn't have lost our whole adolescence trying to shore up two badly neglected adults' catastrophic mental health while under constant fire.

literally a ten minute weekly phone call with grandpa while granny was in hospital and weekly follow-up talk therapy for her after she was discharged could have made so much difference but nobody fucking cared. because she was Old. she was in the hospital because she was a danger to the people around her and they discharged her for the weekend as a trial run and her husband died suddenly while she was in the house and she seemed totally unbothered and they still. let her out for good two weeks later with no followup care or therapeutic follow-up and no support or advice for Dad on looking after her. they started talk therapy in hospital and then dropped her abruptly and left her raw and cracked open without any way to put herself back together. and she isn't unique it's just. Careless. and so destructive.

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arminhug · 3 years

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hello, pumpkin || annie leonhardt x reader: chapter two

series masterlist

。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Annie and I never established that we were friends until her eighth birthday.

In the blossoming spring warmth, I nestled myself in the corner of the bench in the playground’s garden. It was an unspoken fact that nobody really played in the garden; it was a quiet haven for a few of us to read or enjoy solitude, yet it had also become a spot where I waited for Annie every day, and almost every day, had she not been sent home or busy with other obligations, Annie joined me, sometimes speaking, sometimes not. I didn’t mind; I just loved to be in her company.

On this particular day, Annie stood before me, and despite her being the same height as me, her air always made her seem much bigger and powerful.

“My dad says this is for you.”

She handed me a white envelope into which I fervently tore, revealing a gaudy invitation card.

“It’s your birthday on Saturday?” I quizzed.

“No, my birthday is today. But my dad said it was too short notice to invite you to my house today, so you can come on Saturday.”

At this news of Annie’s birthday, I immediately leapt to my feet and braced her in a hug. “Happy birthday! What cake are you having? Are you going to hand out sweets to your class?”

Annie did not hug me back but did not resist. “I don’t like cake, and I don’t like anyone in my class.”

I gasped. “How can you not like cake? Also, who’s going to be at your party if you don’t like anyone in your class?”

“Cake is too heavy and sweet.” She responded monotonously. “Also, you’re the only one coming; it’s not a party, my dad just knows I have a friend now and wanted you to come. You don’t have to.”

Unlike Annie, I didn’t actively avoid the other children in my school. I was still invited to many class birthday parties, I spoke amiably to my peers and I could name a few schoolchildren whom I could consider a friend— yet Annie, the stoic, ash-blonde girl confessing she saw me as a friend elicit such joy within me, I can still remember the feeling to this day if I think about her enough.

“So if I’m your friend, I have to get you a present, right?” I had reminded her of the title that she gave me moments ago.

“No. I don’t want a present.”

“Yes you do, everyone wants presents!” I retorted. “What do you like best in the world?”

“Cats.”

I sat down, sulking. “I can’t get you a cat, Annie. What else do you like?”

Silence.

“Mummy and I can make you something.” I continued, desperate to find something that I could give to my friend. “She’s really good at baking. Do you like cookies?”

“No.”

“Cupcakes?” I refused to give up.

“No! Cupcakes are tiny cakes, you know I hate cakes.”

“Brownies?”

“No.”

“Doughnuts?”

This time, Annie turned away, not meeting the question with a monosyllabic “no”.

“Doughnuts! Annie, I’ll make you lots of doughnuts, okay?”

Annie still refused to look me in the eye. It never bothered me, but I had gathered that she was more inclined to refuse eye contact when she was upset or shy. Before I had the chance to attempt to pry into which flavour of doughnut she would have liked, the bell signalling the end of recess rang. I leapt to my feet and pressed a chaste kiss to Annie's cheek.

“See you later, you doughnut!”

She shoved me towards my line with no malice in the action. “Whatever you say, pumpkin girl.”

“Earth to (y/n)? You’ve been glazed over for the past five minutes. What’s so exciting about the window?”

I blink, snapping out of the saccharine memory of Annie’s birthday. Four pairs of eyes are fixed on me, and I animate myself, taking the doughnut from my plate and shrugging. “I was just thinking,” I respond.

“You sure? Not looking at any hot dudes?” the only other female at the table, Sasha, suggests. Her hazel eyes flicker suggestively over to the group of men kicking a ball about in the park over the road from our favourite local café, which has baked goods to die for (or so Sasha and Connie, the food fanatics of my friendship group claim. I won’t argue—the doughnuts are heavenly.)

“Yeah, c’mon, (y/n)! There are three dashing fellows right here, why do you need to stare at those losers?” Connie chimes in, gesturing to himself and my other two male friends, Jean and Marco.

“Yeah, you wish. My type isn’t idiots,” I playfully smack Connie’s head, the growing stubble brushing my fingertips as I find any way to bring the subjects away from men that I would apparently find attractive.

“On all seriousness, what is your type? We’ve never seen you have anyone about.” Jean interrogates. Great.

It took me a while to figure out that I’m likely not into men. I never quite knew why I got so uncomfortable when middle school brought an array of boy bands that prepubescent teenage girls loved to swoon over, and why I could never answer when somebody asked me who was the hottest, but at the age of sixteen, when I realised my heart was racing upon seeing two women kiss in a film my friends and I had watched, it hit me like a freight train that I was definitely attracted to women.

I chose not to indulge anyone in this knowledge; realistically, I know I don’t have too much to worry about. Sure, my parents aren’t screaming about supporting gay rights from the rooftops, but I know that they have no prejudice towards the community, and my four closest friends would accept me no matter what — hell, Marco told us he was gay when we were fifteen and sixteen years old over a game of Mario Kart and we embraced his queerness with open arms.

So what’s the big deal? I think to myself.

“Does it matter? I’m too busy to date. These university decisions are killing me!”

“Simple,” Jean interrupts, pointing the straw of his ridiculously large iced coffee in my direction. “You come to Marley with Marco and me. Good university, far enough away from your parents, and you get your favourite friends with you for the ride!”

Jean and Marco are one class above Sasha, Connie and I, and decided that Marley University, a small, public school that gained a decent reputation despite it being so new, was the place for them. It was hard to say goodbye once they left school, but the holiday breaks came frequently, and soon enough, they were back for Easter, helping their three younger friends decide on which school to go to.

“Tempting, but probably not. I can’t get over the English department in Sina,” I responded dreamily.

“Yeah, and the crazy entry requirements. You’d have to be a robot to get those grades! Just come to Marley with us, I’m sure the English stuff is fine there, too!” Sasha whined, poking at my hand. I take another bite of my nostalgic treat, shaking my head.

“Guys, I love you all, but I can’t make such an important decision based on my friends. You understand, right?”

“It’s fine, (y/n),” Marco interrupts, his familiar comforting smile gracing his freckled face. “We’ll come to visit you up there, right?”

“Nope. Four of us, one of you. She is coming to Marley.” Jean retorts.

“Jesus, fair enough. I’ll book the plane tickets now!” I tell him sardonically. He elbows me jovially in response and stands, coffee in hand. “Right, we can finish our drinks and snacks on the way outside. It's too nice to be spending it indoors.”

Ignoring the protests from Sasha and Connie, who forlornly protest that they haven't had the chance to order a baked good after their main courses, the majority of the group tail towards the double doors, leaving the duo no choice but to begrudgingly follow suit. The late March sunshine is glorious, beaming down on my face, much like the day twelve years ago I was daydreaming about. It suddenly hit me that today, March 22nd, Annie would be turning twenty years old. This newfound knowledge makes my stomach drop and I cannot control the grief coursing through my being.

It's ever so odd how I can remember every detail about my childhood friend; every memory we shared together, her favourite colour, (black, which I insisted was rather morbid for an eight-year-old, so I coaxed her into putting blue as a second favourite) how on Sunday mornings her father would always pick her up from my house after a sleepover at 10 am sharp to take her to karate, even though she had told me in confidence that she much preferred kickboxing. I couldn't tell you many facts about any other childhood friend who I lost to time; it's only Annie. Every detail of the girl who made my infancy etched into my heart, refusing to leave.

As I force myself back into the present moment, I am aware that maybe Annie was more than just my best friend.

But I was so young. How could I have truly differentiated between innocuous childhood affection and romantic yearning?

“Marco?” I punctuate the spring silence before I can even stop myself. “How did you realise your first crush?”

Marco raises his eyebrows. “Jeez, it was so long ago. I was eleven and I was having a sleepover with my friend. We were on his bed playing Minecraft on his laptop, but I wasn’t even paying attention; I was just admiring his face, how he was so engrossed in the game. My heart was racing because I realised I wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t even think it was biologically possible to like the same sex, so I brushed it off. Now I look back…” he laughs awkwardly, before looking me in the eye, his tone suddenly earnest. “Why, what’s up? Anything you want to talk to me about?”

I stop in the street, completely oblivious to the speed of modern day life around me. Suddenly all I care about is how my stomach leapt when I saw her pallid figure walk through the double doors, into the garden, how I found any excuse to hold her hand, how obsessed I was with the topography of her curved nose, icy eyes, lips stark against her pale skin.

“How do you know for sure you’re gay if you’ve only ever had a crush on one person in your life? Somebody who you haven’t spoken to in eight years?”

。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

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haikyuuwaifu · 4 years

Text

MASTER LIST

This is a collective Masterlist of ALL my CURRENT Works:

*👻🎃HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MINI-SMAU*

BARISTA BEAUTY: KATSUKI X READER

How do two strangers who seemingly spend ZERO time together end up with their true Happily Ever After? Through anonymous texting or nosy best friends that don’t know how to mind their own business?

STRANGER DANGER: BOKUTO X READER

Join Bokuto as he tries harder NOT to fall in love with the mysterious Y/N forgetting about the competition entirely. And join Y/N as she finds herself falling for the most genuine idiot she’s ever met.

SMAU: BNHA & HAIKYUU

BNHA

Dynamite:

At 23 with a solo career going nowhere, Katsuki’s management group Endeavor wants to put together a rival idol group known as Ground Zero consisting of his old groupmates minus the two traitors and a few new additions in the forms of Hitoshi Shinsou, Keigo Takami, and Toya Todoroki (A.k.a Dabi). Their manager Shigaraki thinks this combination of men has what it takes to be better than DK, but Shinsou knows they won’t be able to do it without Y/N.

Y/N is one of the most sought after designers in the business. Pushing her love of music aside she pushed her creativity into a different wheelhouse. With lots of begging and pleading from childhood friends Hitoshi and Jirou, Y/N is hired on to help “re-brand” Ground Zero.

Does Ground Zero stand a chance against the formidable and VERY popular DK? Or will someone come along to show Katsuki a whole new sound?

Will Y/N forever hate idols and pop beats, or will one angry gremlin show here that there’s more to him than the Idol stereotype?

GIRLS NEED LOVE: BAKUGO X DABI X SHINSOU X READER

At the age of 18, Y/N L/N followed her boyfriend out of their small town of Shirakawa, only to find herself ditched and abandoned in the streets of Mustafu. Broke and Alone, she managed to find a place that would take her in. 3 years later found Y/N, L/N working as the best dancer in the Diamond Client Agency; an elite corporation of clubs strictly for the Hero Elite. Her evening activities consisted of dancing and stripping for heroes and the rich elite. Her day hours consisted of her working on her writing. She wrote articles for the local papers. She had always wanted to write her own stories; since her dream of being a hero was never allowed to come to fruition.

By day, they were Pro Heros: Ground Zero, Mind Jack, and Touya. They had spent the last 5 years in a relationship with the woman they thought they’d spend forever with. Too bad she was only with them to boost up her own ranking. Following the heartbreak the three of them decided they didn’t need anything serious. They didn’t plan for anything serious when they saw her dancing, at a Diamond event. They didn’t plan for anything serious when the event was attacked. But love happens unexpectedly doesn’t it? Especially when love comes in the form of a woman fully encased in Magma.

ROCKABYE: BAKUGO X READER X SHINSOU

How does a single mom who has worked for everything, handle becoming the center of attention for two stubborn business men who only want to give her the world? How do two business men with checkered pasts handle a woman who has a history of her own?

This is Rockabye <3

TRIP: HAWKS X READER X BAKUGO X SHOTO X SHINSOU POLY

Keigo Takami is the owner and operator of Commission Tattoos, one of the hottest shops in the city. Out of nowhere a new shop has opened conveniently enough across the street and he and his boys can’t seem to stand the competition.

Y/N Midoriya ,Tattooist from the small city of Mustafu, has moved her entire life to Tokyo with her friends. Opening Midi’s Tattoos & Piercings seems like a good first step in a big flourishing city like Tokyo. Throw in the sexy competition across the way and you’ve got yourself a party!

Follow Y/N as she tries to navigate her way through big city life, boujie Tokyo city girls, and four men who don’t know how to handle a woman like her. Follow the employees of Midi’s and Commission as they try to maneuver sad single life, chaotic lesbianism, and their bosses aggressively hate flirting all under the sprawling Tokyo skylights.

WHAT YOU KNOW BOUT LOVE BAKUGO X READER X SHOTO POLY

Y/N L/N has been Katsuki’s best friend their entire lives. Izuku Midoriya found the nerve to confess to her in high school, and Katsuki stepped aside just so his best girl could be happy. Moving to the US for a one in a million opportunity; Y/N’s relationship flourished as Katsuki’s career blew up.

Years later finds Y/N dumping her trash ex Deku, and Katsuki moving the Agency he created back to Japan, so he and Shoto can finally get the fucking girl. Too bad Y/N is clueless, and outside forces are doing all they can to keep them apart ;)

HAIKYUU

BAD BLOOD: READER X POLY RELATIONSHIP

Y/N, L/N had big dreams of being a content creator. Alongside her boyfriend they made their own channels and started thriving. Success breeds jealous and due to devastating betrayal Y/N shut down her channel, packed up her bags, and left Japan.

Now, 4 years later at the annoying insistence of her best friend, her cousin, and his annoying boyfriend; Y/N is moving back to Japan and into the ‘Kozume Hype House’. Living under the same roof as her besties boyfriend, her old childhood friend, a dumbass named Lev; and four of the hottest streamers in Japan is going to be a wild ride for Y/N.

Mix in Y/N’s ex, 4 men falling for her, and her no dating rule; and you’re in for a world of sweet chaotic drama.

BROKE ME FIRST: TSUKISHIMA X READER X IWAZUMI

You have known Tsukishima Kei your entire life. You went to the same schools all your life. Graduating middle school gave you the break you needed until you saw a familiar head of blonde hair on your first day at Kurasuno. You’ve spent every school year hating the others existence. What happens when you’re partnered together and have no choice but to cooperate for the sake of your graduation?

BOYS WITH LUV: F READER X ???

Y/N L/N is an athletic trainer recently moved back to Japan after spending 6 years in the U.S. As much as she loves her friends; what she can’t handle is their constant need to “find her a man”. Join Y/N as she navigates her way through dealing with ex-boyfriends, old crushes, and new found love interests; all while trying to navigate her life in Japan and finishing her athletic trainer qualifications.

Who’s ready for this fucking circus?

DADDY ISSUES: IWAZUMI X READER

Hajime Iwaizumi: Male Escort hired by skinny twig models for arm candy and a good fucking. This man can have any woman he wants, but he has specific rules for the women who hire him. No kissing on the lips. No catching Feelings. And No spending the night.

Y/N L/N: A model considered “Plus Size” because she doesn’t fit the alleged mold of Size 6 and below. A woman who is confident in herself and her body. She is a woman who proves every day that she doesn’t need a man by her side to get that money.

After Y/N is involved in a scandal surrounding her former FWB Tsukishima Kei, Iwaizumi Hajime begins to take notice of all things surrounding and pertaining to HER. Her work ethic, her confidence, her ability to push the haters off with a smile on her pretty face and a flutter of her eye lashes. She’s everything he’s ever wanted in a woman…

But can he show her that he’s everything she needs in a man? How can he prove he’s the man for her when she knows what he’s done to plenty of models who didn’t fit HER MOLD?

Guess you’ll just have to stick around and find out huh?;)

FEEL MY LOVE: KUROO X READER

Kuroo Tetsuro had never been very outgoing. He was shy and awkward for most of his life. The only time he seemed to be pulled out of his shell was when he was on the Volleyball Court. High School Volleyball had been the highlight of his life. Until he met Akane. Akane was everything to him. Pretty, Smart, Popular…He couldn’t believe a guy like him could land a girl like her…Until she humiliated him in front of every person in the school.

From that moment forward Kuroo kept to himself, sticking only to his closest friends. Head ducked down, he graduated high school and upon entering Tokyo University, he was determined to make things different…Until he was faced with his high school tormentors…he resigned to the fact that college would be just like high school…and then he met you.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S: SUNA X READER

Suna Rintaro was traded from the EJP Raijin, to the MSBY Black Jackals thanks to an incident involving [redacted]. He was pretty sure he was done with any dating after the shit he went through before. Atsumu and Bokuto had other plans, and decided that the perfect woman for him was only a few blocks away.

Y/N Kageyama has spent her entire life surrounded by volleyball. Her best friend growing up was Ushijima Wakatoshi; Her little Brother is Kageyama Tobio; and the idiots she babysits include the Seijoh three + Iwaizumi. It’s no wonder she’s interested in Volleyball Players…too bad Ushijima always manages to step in and send the wrong message huh?

GIRLS LIKE YOU: READER X OSAMU X KIYOOMI X BOKUTO X OIKAWA POLY

Y/N L/N: 24 year old single mother to twin four year old girls Mochi and Matcha. Advertisement Executive by day and super mama by night; Y/N has been raising her babies with the help of her friends alone for the last four years. As soon as she thinks she has things handled, she’s thrown for a loop when her twins attempt to play match maker four times over with the help of their uncles and aunties; unable to say no to their precious babies.

Follow the three L/N women as one mama learns that she doesn’t need to do it alone; and two girls learn what it really means to have a father...four fathers ;)

MISS INDEPENDENT: KENMA X OSAMU X SUNA X READER

3 of Tokyo elites most notorious playboys find themselves tiring of the same routine day in and day out. Each with their own stories of heartbreak. How does one step out of what they’ve been doing for what feels like forever? One woman, tired of celebrating milestones, and vacationing alone; ready to take that step again....

When you throw in a meddling best friend, an idiot twin, and a clusterfuck of idiot children; it can only result in one thing...complete and utter chaos, but will Y/N and the 3 playboys finally find happiness in that chaos?

Depends on if all the meddling is helpful or not ;) Stick around and find out yeah?

SMILE: OSAMU X READER

Y/N and Kuroo were together for three blissful years.The day of graduation she finds herself in tears as she listens to Kuroo tell her that the last three years were a waste of time. With a wave of his hand he walked away and out of her life. Moving to Miyagi she found a group of friends to support her and pick up the pieces. 3 years later Y/N finds herself at Tokyo University. As a new woman with a new attitude; will she run into Kuroo and the chaos he brings with him? Or will someone else come along and show her what love truly feels like?

WRITTEN WORKS:

BEFORE YOU GO

BROKEN PROMISE

DANCE WITH ME

FEEL SOMETHING

SELFISH

IT’S YOU

SAD SUNDAYS:

#haikyuu masterlist #bnha masterlist #smau masterlist #haikyuu smau masterlist #bnha smau masterlist

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just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

Text

Out Of Time ~ Valentine’s Day

MASTERLIST

The following is a one shot for my series, Out Of Time.

Word Count: 2,250ish

Summary: Y/N spends valentine’s with her two lovers. (This is a little flashforward in the current timeline of Out Of Time.)

Monday, February 12th, 2018

“So I was thinking that on Wednesday, you and I can dress up and I can get Happy and Peter to deck the place again and I can spoil you rotten,” Tony said as Y/N and him were cuddled up on the couch, watching Shark Tank and eating pizza.

“On Wednesday?” Y/N repeated. “What’s so special about Wednesday?”

“Uh, honey,” Tony chuckled, “it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“What?!”

Tony laughed. “This is actually great. Usually I’m the forgetful one.”

“This is actually terrible,” Y/N grumbled, slipping her hands down her face.

“Terrible? Why?”

“Because I have two over the top boyfriends.”

“Oh… right… You don’t have to do anything with Barnes. He probably doesn’t know what day it is anyway. You know, cause the old age and brain damage.”

“Tony!” Y/N smacked his arm. “Don’t be mean.”

“Hey! Woah!” He held his hands up. “I’m just saying the truth.”

“I don’t want to think about this right now,” Y/N shook her head. She stood up, heading for the kitchen. “Did you have to bring it up?”

“Sorry that I just felt the need to tell you what I was planning for Valentine’s day.” Tony followed her. “Especially since I have to share my girlfriend.”

“Tony…”

“No, I have the right to be a little annoyed. This has been going on for 10 months now and you have yet to make a choice. I think you’re enjoying this.”

“You think I’m enjoying this?” Y/N spun around to face him. “This is killing me because I love you both, so much. And it will kill be to hurt either of you.”

“So? Just rip the band aide off.”

“Rip the band aide off? Are you serious?”

“I’m really starting to get there, honey. You know that I’m not the most patient or the sharing type, but I’ve been very open here. I can only push myself so far though.”

“You know what? I’m leaving. Have fun on Valentine’s Day, Tony.” She opened a portal to the side of her.

“Stop, Y/N. Stop. Don’t storm out of here.”

Y/N simply shook her head and went through the portal. Quickly closing it. She had took herself to her Wakanda bedroom, where, by surprise, Bucky was in there waiting for her. He was sitting on her bed, nervously running a rose through his hand.

“Hi, doll,” he greeted with a small smile. He stood up, crossing the room and giving her a kiss. “This is for you.” He handed her the rose, which she took.

“Thank you, Buck,” she replied, he could tell something was off.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She was looking down at the rose twirling in her fingers.

“Don’t lie to me.” He lifted up her chin. “What did Tony do?”

“Nothing, Bucky. He was fine. He just… did you make any plans for Valentine’s day?”

“Did I make any? Not yet. Have I been waiting here for hours to bring my plans up to you? Sadly.”

“Ugh!” She turned around heading to set the rose on the dresser. “So it’s just me who’s the idiot?”

“An idiot?”

“I completely forgot about Valentine’s Day, Buck. And I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“You’ll just split the day between Tony and I. Like you always do.”

“Yeah, but is that fair? To me or to either of you?”

“Are you trying to say that you’re ready to make a decision?”

“No… I’m… I’m not ready. I just feel bad, about it all.”

“Well, doll, I can’t say that this whole thing has been easy. But I did promise you that I’d wait until you were ready and fight for you every step of the way. And I’ll still do that now, especially on Valentine’s Day.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m completely sure.” He pulled her in for a soft kiss. “Just tell me the time and I’ll set it up.”

“Lunch.”

“You got it.” He gave her another sweet kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~~~

Tony had locked himself away in his lab, working on his Valentine’s Day gift. Even if Y/N wasn’t going to make an appearance on the day of love. It was late in to the night when he heard footsteps coming up behind him. And he knew exactly whose they were.

“I hope you’re here to apologize,” he said, quickly covering up his work space.

“I am,” Y/N said softly. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t just about me.” She came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him and resting her chin on him. “How about dinner on Wednesday?”

“Barnes isn’t going to be mad?”

“We’re doing lunch.”

Tony nodded, thinking a moment. “As long as I get to pick what you wear.”

“I guess I can handle that.” She pressed a kiss to his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~~~

Wednesday, February 14th, 2018

Y/N had ignored both men after talking to them about Valentine’s Day. She was just feeling a bit overwhelmed about it all. She knew that she needed to make a decision soon, but she couldn’t today. Currently looking up at the ceiling, Y/N laid in her bed and sighed. A quiet knock sounded at the door before it was opened. Y/N sat up to see Bucky walk in, pushing a cart with food on it.

“Good morning, doll,” he greeted with a large smile. He paused to shut the door before pushing the cart to her bed. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” He leaned down and gave Y/N a kiss.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she repeated. She looked at the cart. “What’s all this?”

“I thought that I could bring you breakfast. Especially since I haven’t seen you in too long.”

“It hasn’t been that long.”

“It has for me.” He sat down on the bed. “Have you…” He swallowed. “Have you been with Stark the whole time?”

“No. I’ve been here.”

“So you’ve been ignoring me?”

“I’ve been ignoring everyone.”

Bucky nodded. “Any particular reason why?”

Y/N picked up a piece of food and plopped it in her mouth. “Just needed some time to myself. But I’m good.” She leaned towards him, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Ready to spend some time with you.”

“Good.”

Bucky and Y/N ate breakfast before he left, allowing her to get ready for the day. He told her to meet him at his place when she was ready. Y/N didn’t take too long to get ready before appearing near Bucky’s place. She smiled as she saw their tree decorated with lights and hearts. There was a blanket laid out underneath the tree with a basket on top of it. But what came to the biggest surprise to Y/N was to two white rhinos off to the side. She walked up to them, slowly reaching out her hand to pet one.

“I see you found the surprise,” Bucky came up behind her with a slight chuckle.

“These are the surprise?” She questioned, looking over at him while still keeping her hand on the rhino.

“Yes. I thought it would be fun to do something completely Wakandan. They don’t ride horses, they ride rhinos.”

“We’re doing to ride these?”

“If you don’t want to, we don’t—“

“No! I want to! Trust me.” She smiled at him.

“Okay, then.” He smiled back. “You ready to ride?”

“I guess.”

She turned back to the rhino, searching for how to get on it. Finding a foot hole, she put her foot in it before heaving herself up. Before she could throw her other leg over, Y/N started wobbling.

“Here,” Bucky came over putting his hands on her waist, “I got you.”

Y/N looked down, now noticing the new addition to Bucky’s look. “You’re arm,” she whispered, mesmerized by the sleek look of the black and gold together.

“I thought you deserved two arms today.”

“It’s… it’s real nice, Buck.” Real attractive too, she thought.

She focused back on what she was doing and flipped her other leg over the side of the rhino. Bucky then got onto his own rhino and began to lead the way. Y/N led her rhino to walk beside Bucky’s.

“This is so cool,” Y/N grinned.

Bucky did so in return. “I’m glad you think so.”

They chatted and rode until they were hungry and headed back to Bucky’s hut. Bucky got off his rhino first before rushing to help Y/N off. Y/N wouldn’t admit it aloud, but she enjoyed feeling his two hands on her waist. She turned in his hold to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Thank you, Bucky,” she said softly. “That was wonderful.”

“Only the best for you,” he replied, kissing her.

With his new metal hand, he led her under the tree. Bucky pulled Y/N down into his lap, brushing her cheek with his flesh fingers. He kissed her, begging entrance to her mouth with his tongue. Which she allowed. Her hands found his hair, holding his head close to hers. Bucky slowly set Y/N on the ground, with him hovering above her.

“Bucky…” she panted, breaking away from him. “We can’t… I can’t.”

He sighed, resting his head against her shoulder. “I know… I’m sorry.” He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “I just don’t know how much longer I can wait.”

“I realize I’m asking a lot of you. But please be patient.”

Bucky moved off of her, allowing her to sit up. “I’m still a man, doll. I have basic needs I want met.”

“I know. And I’m very sorry for doing this to you.”

“It’s just… I can’t help it but be jealous of Stark. He’s got to be with you in ways I never have.”

“Don’t be jealous. He’s not getting any right now either… I need my mind clear to make my choice.” She grabbed his hand and kissed it. “You’re too good to me… thank you… I love you, James.”

“I love you too.”

~~~

Y/N arrived at Tony’s apartment around dinner time in New York. She had a wonderful time and knew Bucky did too, even if he was starting to grew impatient.

“Y/N,” FRIDAY called. “The Boss has asked me to lead you to the guest room to change before the evening starts.”

“Okay, FRIDAY,” she replied, “lead the way.”

Y/N followed FRIDAY’s directions to the guest room, where a floor length, hot-rod red dress was laying out on the bed. She walked closer, noticing a small note on it.

You told me I got to decide what you wear tonight. This was the most modest of them all, trust me. If you want to go with my top choice, look in middle dresser drawer. Though, I figure you won’t and I can save it for another day. Get dressed and meet me in the kitchen. - T.S.

Y/N had a soft smile on her lips as she read the note. She didn’t bother to open the dresser drawer and slipped into the dress. She quickly checked herself in the mirror before heading to the kitchen. There was soft classical music playing on the speakers and the room was simply lit by candles. Tony was sitting at the small table, but, upon seeing Y/N enter, stood up to greet her.

“Damn,” he smirked. “I did good.” He walked over to her. “Though I had hoped that you would have come down in the other option. This one is still good.” He pulled her in and kissed her. “I’ve missed you all day. I hope your time with Barnes wasn’t too terrible.”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” Y/N responded. “Can tonight just be about the two of us?”

“Of course.”

He gave her another kiss as he slowly started moving them to the music. He hands were on the small of her back as her wrapped around his neck, hands barely resting on his hairline. Their foreheads met and they closed their eyes, enjoying the proximity.

Y/N let her thoughts compare her to lovers. They were both uniquely different, yet the same and both absolutely wonderful and more than she would ever deserve. How was she suppose to make this choice? What had she gotten herself into?

“What are you thinking about?” Tony whispered.

“Nothing,” she responded.

“Liar. I can practically hear your thoughts.” He kissed her forehead. “What’s going on in there?”

“I just… I’m thinking about a lot. How wonderful you are to me. How wonderful this is… yet I’ll break my heart and someone else’s soon.”

“Not tonight though, right?” Tony looked in her eyes. His brown eyes boring into her soul, more vulnerable than she had ever seen them. “You’re not breaking my heart tonight, right?”

“Tony… No. Not tonight.”

“Good.” He pulled her closer. “Let me just hold you close tonight. Sway you tonight.”

“I love you, Anthony.”

He tensed a little at the use of his full name. “I love you too.”

They swayed to the music, holding each other close, for a little longer before moving to the table to eat. Tony could tell she was still thinking about it all, even though she tried to act like she wasn’t. He pushed it all aside though, focusing on just him and her and the hope that there would be a future there.

#tony stark x reader #bucky barnes x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #tony stark imagine #bucky barnes imagine #iron man x reader #the winter soldier x reader #marvel x reader #tony stark #Bucky Barnes #avengers imagine #marvel imagine #marvel imagines

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pitaparka · 4 years

Text

between the devil and the deep blue sea

summary: you wake up to find your brother missing. you’re then met by two handsome boys in your motel room, who just so happen to have his key. they offer to help you find him.

pairings: jj maybank x reader / john b x reader

word count: 3.1k

warnings: a missing brother, teenage boys, and a whole lot of eventual unresolved sexual tension

a/n: outer banks. that is all. happy quarantine yall. big love.

It was jarring to wake up in the motel all by yourself. You hadn’t even heard him leave.

It took you too long to notice. The room was plunged in darkness, and you took your time waking up, getting out of bed, brushing your teeth. You had only turned on the light when you had decided to get dressed. Which is when you saw the empty bed next to you. It was hastily made, but even the fact that it was made threw you off. He had never been one to make his bed, even back home. Especially not when he first woke up. Did he plan on not coming back? His suitcase was zipped up on one of the chairs at a small desk off to the side. It made your stomach drop to think about. In your PJs, you checked the bathroom, the closet (for good measure), and under the bed (just in case).

You called his name, but there was no answer. You had woken up multiple times through the night, afraid of the windows exploding, or the door caving in. There were no sand bags or boards for your room. But each time, you were lulled back asleep during a calm in the storm. The noise plus the springy mattress had not allowed for a restful sleep, and you were out of bed as soon as it was reasonable.

Your bare foot hit the damp pavement stepping out of your motel room. Petrichor filled your nostrils. It was a refreshing change from the musty dank mess you had spent the night in, but it wasn’t much more comforting. You were still alone, and you had no clue why. There were men and women all over the motel balcony, working on moving large branches and surveying the damage. You were suddenly grateful you weren’t in one of the rooms on the end, that had large cracks in the concrete. You looked both ways from your room, but you hadn’t recognized anyone. Power tools drowned out the sound of children playing in front of the motel front down below you. There were mattresses put up against the railing. You were expected to check out today, and you had agreed on leaving early, but you didn’t want to leave without your brother. The only option was to wait for him. You returned to the room.

You figured a shower was in order. So you didn’t hear the knock until you came out, towel around your shoulders, fully dressed this time. Thank God. Because you heard the key turn in the lock and light filled the room and all the doubt plunged from your chest because your brother was back—

But he wasn’t. You stared from the bathroom. Two boys. Neither of them your brother.

“Huh,” one says, and you really take a good look at the two of them. Just in case you have to describe them to the police.

Tall. Wavy brown hair. Hat backwards. Bandanna around his neck. The other one blonde. Short hair. Tank top. Really nice arms, but considering they’re breaking into your motel, you look past it.

“Check the bag, see if there’s a name on there somewhere.”

A name. Why do they want your name? If they’re going to steal things, they might as well just take it. They’re both teenage boys. About your age. Tall. Probably taller than you, but you can’t tell. The blonde one shoves the key deep into his cargo shorts. They go to close the door behind them.

It takes them a second to notice you. You must look like a deer in headlights.

“How did you get in here?” You ask. You saw the key. Where did they get the key? Only you and your brother have keys, how did they—

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, we didn’t know anyone—” One of them starts.

“Fuck,” the other one says.

“We found this key, we just wanted to—” One goes to explain, but you’re more scared than they are.

“What are you doing here?” You ask

“We just wanted to see where this came from,” says blondie, holding up the motel key. “We wanted to just—”

“Yeah, we’re sorry, we’ll be leaving now,” The brunette goes to leave, and the blonde goes to follow. The one with the key in his hand doesn’t let go of it. You need to know where they got that key from.

“No! Wait,” you say, and they stop in their tracks.

“Where did you find that key?” You ask. They look between each other.

“On a boat,” One of them replies. The other stares at him.

“What boat?” you ask. You can feel your heart thumping in your wrist. You leave the doorway and sit on your brother’s bed. The door to the motel room is slightly ajar. They, theoretically, could run and never come back. But they haven’t left yet.

“We… we found it. At the bottom of a marsh.” Brunette says. You let out a shaky breath. What the fuck does that mean? Whose boat did he have? How did he learn to drive a boat? Why would he get on a boat, in the middle of a fucking storm?

Your phone rings on the table next to them. You rush over to it, and the boys move back a little bit. There’s no caller ID. You answer.

“Hello?” you stare at the boys. They stare back at you. They look invested now.

“Hi! Are you busy?” The person asks. It sounds like a man, but not your brother.

“Who is this? How did you get this number?” you say. Today, nobody feels like giving you their names.

“Is your brother there?”

“No, he’s not here… who is this?”

“Ah, okay, sorry! Have a nice—”

“Who is this?” you demand, but the line goes dead.

“Fucking great,” you mutter, and the boys are still there.

“Uhh,” one of them starts, “We’re just gonna go.”

You’d had enough. You were fed up with the cryptic messages of today. Your brother disappearing out of nowhere, these boys, the phone call.

“Can you… Do you know where the boat is, still?” you ask. You run your hands over your face, exasperated. This day was shaping up to be one of the worst of your life.

They’re both silent for a beat, before Blondie speaks up.

“Yeah. We could, I mean, we could show you where it is. Why?”

Brunette glares at him.

“I can’t find my brother. He left this morning… that’s his motel key. He doesn’t have a boat. I just… I don’t know what’s going on today.” you explain. Brunette gives you a sympathetic look.

“He might be at the store or something,” he suggests, but Blondie has other ideas.

“I’m JJ,” he introduces. He fishes the key out of his pocket and holds it out to you. You decline it.

“No, you can hold on to it. I only need one,” you say, and you lean over to open the drawer next to your bed. Your key isn’t in there. But your brother’s phone is. And a motel sticky note with a number on it

“Oh shit,” you say, and Blondie—JJ, leans over to look in the drawer. He takes out the paper.

“Guess you could use this key then, huh?” he says with a smile. You return it sadly, and take the key from his hands. He looks over the paper.

“Thanks,” you mutter.

“What’s this for?” he asks inquisitively.

You take it from his hands. It’s six random numbers. It means nothing to you.

“I don’t know,” you say, handing it back. He hands it over to the other boy. You get up, and move over to the side of the room where your shoes are. Where your brother’s shoes aren’t.

You give Brunette a once over after you put your shoes on.

“Who are you?” you ask, and he introduces himself as John.

“But he’s really John B.,” JJ clarifies.

“Is there more than one John?” you ask.

“Probably. It’s a popular name,” John B. says, leading the two of you out of your motel room. You’d have to leave before tonight. You have nowhere else to go, so maybe because of the hurricane they’d let you stay. Checking out the boat wouldn't take too long, right?

“You guys aren’t… serial killers, right?” you question after you lock the door behind you. This is a terrible idea, going with these boys you don’t know at all. But there have been worse ideas. Like your brother leaving early in the morning to steal a boat and sink it in the ocean. You know he can swim, but you can vividly remember him tiring easily at the lake you’d spend the summer at with your family together. Your heart breaks a little bit at the memory.

“Oh come on, could a serial killer look this good?” JJ says, flaunting his body. He playfully runs his hands over his chest and face, and John B. laughs at him.

“Come on, dude, you’re freaking her out,” he says, and looks back at you while you guys walk down the stairs.

“No, we’re not serial killers. At least not today,” he smirks. You figured you were gonna regret this, but it was too late to turn back now. Besides, what would you do in the motel room until your brother got back. What if he did come back, and you weren’t there?

Your heart races.

“Wait,” and the sound of their feet on the gravel stops.

“What if he comes back? And I’m not there? I should at least leave a note or something, right?” you worry.

“I mean,” JJ starts, “If I were you, wait—have you texted him?” he says.

“Yeah, it was one of the first things I did. But he didn’t take his phone with him.” you say, picturing his phone sitting in the drawer, halfway charged, your missed calls and texts the only notifications. You didn’t know his password either, so it’s not like you could snoop.

“Well, then I think the boat will be your best bet. I could dive down there and see if there’s anything else in it,” John B. suggests. JJ nods in agreement. It’s nice how they decided to assist you, but you can’t help but feel like there’s an ulterior motive underneath it all.

“Why… I mean, thank you, but—why are you helping me?” you say as you walk with the boys. They’re easy to talk to, and you feel like you guys could be friends very quickly.

“We got nothin’ better to do,” John B. says with a smile, and you think how nice it would be to be a part of something.

“Oh shit, it’s the cops,” JJ says, and you and John B. look up immediately.

“What are they doin’ here…” John inquires.

“Do you guys know them?” you ask, and JJ gives you a look.

“Know them? We’re practically besties.”

The way he says it doesn’t make you feel better.

“Let’s go, before they see us.” John B. says, and you follow them to a little boat moored on the shore.

“This is what we found in the room,” JJ says as he gets closer. There’s two other people there.

“A girl?” the boy says. The girl just smiles at you.

“Hi,” you say, and introduce yourself to them.

“I’m Kie, that’s Pope,” Kie says, gesturing to Pope. They look nice enough. It’s a nice little crew they have, and you find yourself wishing you could have something like this. Maybe, just maybe, if things worked out, you and your brother could make a life here. Do something here. Be someone here. But first, you’d have to find him.

“We walked in and she was in the room,” John B. says.

“We thought someone called the cops on you. Look,” Pope says, gesturing to where they had pulled up. They were talking among themselves near their patrol car.

“Yeah, we know,” JJ says. He holds your hand as he helps you onto the boat. His hands are firm and cold, but you realize you like holding them. He smiles at you, then John B. puts his foot on the side of it.

“Uh, where’s my hand JJ?” John B. asks, and JJ responds with a shove, almost pushing John into the murky marsh water as he loses his footing, half on the boat, half on the shore. John B. gives him a hard shove back, and JJ loses his balance, catching himself with one hand, that comes back wet and muddy. You look on in amusement, but Pope tugs on your shirt, moving you back a little.

“You might wanna move back,” he says, and John B. jumps onto the boat, JJ in tow. They run around the center console for a second, JJ chasing John B. with a muddy hand, and Kie pats the spot next to her. The boat was small, so you took the opportunity to sit down.

“What’s your story?” she says.

“Hmm?” you hum, tearing your eyes away from JJ slathering the back of John B.’s shirt with half dry mud, flaking onto the boat and sticking to his shirt. Pope narrowly avoids the splash zone, gripping the edge of the boat.

“I can’t find my brother. The key you guys found? That was his. And he doesn’t have a boat, so I don’t really know what happend. I wanted to go check out where it was, y’know?”

You felt better around Pope and Kie. They were the more level headed of the four, you concluded. Which is probably why they were on the boat and not breaking into your motel room. You unheedingly ran a hand over the key in your pocket, fiddling with the hem of your shorts. You wish you had brought sandals you noted, as some of the water on the boat saturated the canvas of your shoes, right above where the rubber sole ended.

“That sucks. I’m sorry,” Kie apologizes, before JJ hops off the boat again. At the front, he undoes whatever knot he used to tie the boat to whatever waterlogged tree he could find there. With a strong push, he dislodges the boat from the shore, and just makes it back onto the boat before John B. turns on the engine.

“All aboard that’s coming aboard?” John B. cries out.

“Aye aye Captain,” says JJ, moving to the front of the boat.

John eases the boat out of the motel area, and back into the marsh.

“You ever been on a boat before?” JJ asks, taking a seat at your feet. You politely decline the beer he offers you. He shrugs and places it back into the cooler on Kie’s side.

“Uh, not one like this. I’ve been on a boat before though,” you say.

“What, you been on boats nicer than this one?” Questions John B. from the helm.

“Not possible. This is the nicest boat there is.” Pope replies sarcastically.

“Yeah, I don’t know what’s my favorite part, the broken fishing rod holder or the helicopter engine on the back of this thing.” JJ says. You chuckle softly at his joke, but you find it endearing how John B. defends her.

“Aw, don’t listen to them, Old Girl.” he says to the boat.

“You’re still my favorite,” John B. whispers to her, giving the wheel a little kiss.

Everyone laughs at him, and he grins, sitting a little taller in his seat.

“Are you from around here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.” Pope says, beer in hand. They can’t be of age, but it’s an island, so who cares.

“No, I’m not. My brother and I were just passing through, but the storm hit. We were supposed to leave two days ago, but there were no ferries coming in or out.”

“On your way somewhere?” Kie asks.

“Nowhere specific,” you say, and JJ laughs.

“Mysterious, I like it,” he gets up from his spot at your feet and stretches upward. The tank he’s wearing already shows off a lot of skin, especially his sides, but when he stretches, he exposes his stomach a little bit. He’s got an athletic build. I guess that’s what happens when you live on an island.

“What about you guys?” you ask, suddenly a little claustrophobic with all the attention.

“Have you guys always lived here?”

“Yeah. We all grew up here. Been here since we were born.” Pope says.

“Hopefully not for much longer,” clarifies Kie.

You quirk a brow at her. She continues.

“There’s nothing left for us here. Nobody cares about us. If we can get out, we can probably do something with our lives.”

“Yeah. If I want to do anything worth doing, I won’t be working under my dad when I do it.” Pope adds. Everyone else seems to agree.

Everyone except John B.

“I think that’s it,” he says, slowing the boat down considerably and looking over the console to get a look at it.

You and everyone else crowd the side of the boat. You don’t like how it leans forward a little, with the weight of everyone on the bow of it. In the cloudy water, there sits a big hunk of something. If he hadn’t had pointed it out, you probably would’ve paid no mind to it. It reminds you a little bit of how the Titanic sank.

John B. all of a sudden has his shirt off and his sandals, hat discarded somewhere off to the side with his bandanna in it. He jumps headfirst off the side of the boat, toward the object in the water.

“I hate it when he does that,” Kie voices, “He’s gonna crack his head open one of these days,”

“Let him,” JJ says, watching the water intently with the rest of you.

The seconds pass by slowly, and you begin to worry about John B.

“Should we go get him?” Pope asks, but John B. answers by popping up out of the water, sputtering and coughing, wiping his face with his hands.

“Anything?” you ask hopefully.

John B. stares at you.

“Well, it’s still a boat.”

“Great, John, that’s totally gonna reassure her.” JJ criticizes.

“I couldn’t stay under long enough to see what was down there,” John B. says, making his way over to the side of the boat.

“So? What now?” you ask. All hope is lost. You can only hope that your brother is waiting for you back at the motel.

John B. shakes his hair dry like a dog, and then slicks it all back. You can see he’s prepared to let the sun dry him off. He looks at you whimsically.

“Actually, I know where we could get some scuba gear.”

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hatterstan-shameblog · 3 years

Note

Oh yeah? A random head canon? Well, this is more of an idea but still-

Okay, Hatter hiring Tatta to work at his hat shop because hat squad~✨Tatta is the hat son. :3

OOOOOH BUDDY OKAY this is getting a lil somethin-somethin

The Apprentice

Rating: PG (for Tatta for being a beautiful and wholesome boy)

Relationships: None (Hatter/Aguni implied because it’s basically always gotta be implied)

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

“So, uh,” Aguni asks, “how’s the new guy doing?”

It’s a beautiful Thursday afternoon. The birds are singing, the sun is shining…and, perhaps most importantly, Aguni and Takeru are splitting a bucket of fried chicken with a side of potato wedges, and two fresh-from-the-oven biscuits.

“Splendidly,” Takeru says, sinking his teeth into an extra-crispy chicken leg and smirking around the audible crunch sound that echoes against his teeth.

Aguni nods and twists the top of his biscuit off of the bottom.

“You’re not working him too hard, are you?”

“Mori,” Takeru says between lip-smacking bites, “I would never!”

Just then, a young be-hatted head pokes out from behind the back door. A handsome young fellow, with shaggy hair and a hopeful look in his eye—why, even Aguni, in all his gruff distrust of strangers, can’t help but find him charming.

“Mr. Danma, sir,” the energetic young man says, “the new shipment just came in! Shall I place it in the stock room, or would you like to look at it now?”

Takeru smiles, setting down his half-eaten drumstick and wiping his mouth on one of the flimsy paper napkins that came with their meal.

“The stock room, I think,” he replies, “we’ll go through it together after my meeting with Mr. Aguni.”

“Oh, so lunch with me counts as a ‘meeting’ now,” Aguni scoffs, “didn’t realize I got a promotion.”

“Yes, well…”

Takeru picks up a potato wedge and studies it for a moment. He frowns, then puts it back and selects a second, (apparently) more suitable option, which he dunks into a plastic container of ketchup.

“The newest associate at Hat Danma LLC has informed me that our lunch meetings may be tax deductible,” Takeru explains, gesturing with the ketchuped wedge in his hand, “If I count this as a business luncheon, I can write it off on taxes and get a refund.”

“Refund for what? I’m the one who bought the chicken,” Aguni argues, shoving his hand into the bucket for another deep-fried morsel, “I spend the money, and you reap the benefits?”

“Uh, yeah,” Takeru says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “that’s how it works.”

“Fine,” Aguni mumbles, “but you’re using your technically-fraudulent earning to take me somewhere nice.”

“Oh, yeah, okay,” Takeru shoots back, “I would love to know what, pray tell, is your idea of ‘somewhere nice’ that isn’t the Shibuya Denny’s.”

“The staff is polite and the prices are reasonable,” Aguni huffs, slathering a half-melted pat of butter onto his biscuit, “besides, every time we’re there, Akiko makes sure we have fresh coffee. How dare you imply that we don’t have a nice time at the Shibuya Denny’s…”

“Uh, I’m sorry to interrupt again—“

Aguni and Takeru table their squabble in favor of looking up at the young man who has, once again, stuck his head out from the back door.”

“Ah, Tatta, my dear,” Takeru says, “my favorite employee…”

“He’s your only employee,” Aguni grumbles, taking a sulky chomp out of his well-buttered biscuit.

Takeru smacks Aguni’s knee lightly in reprimand, but otherwise remains his usual perky self.

“I just wanted to let you know,” Tatta says carefully—almost nervously, but maybe that’s just his golden-retriever-like energy taking, “the Yamato’s have just ordered an additional two fedoras for the wedding. I know I should have asked you first, but…I paid an extra 1,000 yen for expedited shipping to Osaka, just to be sure the order gets there in time.”

“As you should have,” Takeru concludes, offering his new apprentice a nod of approval, “I’m pleased to know that you can handle an emergency situation with grace and tact.”

Tatta beams—a big, bright smile that stretches the corners of his lips to dig into the slight plump of his cheeks.

“Thank you, Mr. Danma, sir,” he responds, “I’m just glad I can be of help!”

“I have a way you can help me further,” Takeru says, that irresistible little lilt in his voice that has gotten more than one person into a heap of trouble, “if you’re willing, of course…”

“Of course,” Tatta replies, “I’ll do whatever you need!”

Aguni rolls his eyes. Of course Takeru likes him; the boy is all but begging for his approval. Nothing feeds the older man’s ego more than a young fellow looking up to him.

“My associate and I were just talking,” Takeru says smoothly, “and it seems we’re at a bit of an impasse. We’re looking for somewhere…hm, a bit more upscale for our next tete-à-tete.”

“Oh, well, I dunno,” Tatta says nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I, uh, I don’t really go to too many fancy places.”

“Neither do we, son,” Aguni says with a sigh, “neither do we…”

“Oh, wait! I have an idea,” the vivacious young man says, “I mean, I don’t know if you’ll like it, but…”

“Aren’t you sweet,” Takeru coos, “See, Mori-chan, you don’t have to be so grumpy all the time. Why, you could benefit from—“

“Let the kid talk,” Aguni interjects. He wordlessly reaches into the bucket and pulls out another piece of chicken and holds it out for Tatta to take.

“Oh, uh,” Tatta says nervously, “are you sure?”

“Go on! The thigh is the best part,” Takeru insists, then chuckles to himself, “of the chicken and…of a lover.”

“Oh my God.”

“Breasts,” Tatta says quickly, “they’re, uh, they’re good too. On a chicken! I was talking about chicken…”

Takeru points at his bashful new protege, who’s now nibbling on the deep-fried breading and trying to hold back a blush.

“You, my young friend, are a man of culture,” Takeru turns to look at Aguni, “wherever he says to go, we’re going.”

Tatta full-on blushes at that.

“Well, uh,” he says, “The only place that really comes to mind is the bar from Lost in Translation…”

Aguni raises his brow in surprise.

“You mean the one with Bill Murray and Scarlet Johansson?”

“Yeah, that one,” Tatta says with a smile, “I just watched it last night and I thought the place looked really cool! It’s got that really great view of the city, and it’ll only be better when it’s dark and you can see all the lights!”

“Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant,” Takeru exclaims, “Mori, you’ll have to break out the suit.”

“The suit is a privilege,” Aguni responds, “I’m not convinced you’ve earned the right to see me in it…”

“So you’ll be wearing the black,” Takeru muses, his attention shifting back to the young man munching on his impromptu lunch, “and I, of course, will be wearing the red. But what about him?”

Tatta fumbles with his chicken.

“Wait,” he asks, “you mean I’m coming with—“

“Normally, I’d suggest the blue,” Takeru continues, “but I’m just not sure…”

“Put him in the olive,” Aguni suggests, “he looks to be about the right height for it.”

Takeru beams.

“Mori, I could kiss you,” he begins to say, but then his eyes slip sideways to see Tatta standing there, “but I won’t, because this is a business meeting and that is not something that professionals do at the office.”

“Well I’m busy eating, so…”

“Wait, uh, guys—“

Aguni and Takeru pause and look at the uncomfortable young man before them. Tatta shifts from one foot to the other, gaze fixed on his scuffed sneakers.

“I can’t go,” Tatta half-mumbles, “I’m sorry but…my shift doesn’t end until nine, and I need the paycheck, so…”

“You,” Takeru says, “are so goddamn precious.”

“Keep him on the clock,” Aguni tells Takeru, “count it as a business dinner. Hell, you could even pay him overtime to carry your drunk ass home.”

Takeru claps his hands together in glee.

“Oh, that is a genius move,” he says.

Takeru leans forward, resting his chin on his elbow and looking up at Tatta.

“What do you say, Cinderella,” Takeru asks him, “will you give up your chores for a few hours and let your fairy godfathers take you out for a truly legendary Boys’ Night out?”

“Hanging out with two middle-aged men at an overpriced bar is hardly a Cinderella moment,” Aguni grumbles, “but, hey, if you wanna come along, we’d be happy to have you.”

“Wow! Thanks,” Tatta says, sounding honest-to-goodness excited about the prospect of going out with his boss and his boss’ friend, “I, uh, I guess I’ll get back to the shop! I’ve got a lot to do if we’re closing early!”

And with a quick bow and an exuberant bite of his chicken, he turns on his heel, heading back into the depths of the hat shop to organize ribbons and restock shelves.

“Just adorable,” Takeru clucks, “Like a puppy that can do basic math and knows not to chew on my shoes.”

“I like him,” Aguni says, wiping his hands on his jeans, “kinda weird that he’s so enamored with you, but that aside, I think he’s a fine young man.”

“Well, what can I say? I have an eye for talent,” Takeru sets his now-finished chicken leg on his plate, “So, you’ll pick us up at six?”

Aguni tries to grimace, but a reluctant smirk sneaks its way onto his lips.

“If I must…”

#alice in borderland #alice in borderland netflix #writings and such #BOYS NIGHT! BOYS NIGHT! BOYS NIGHT!#listen aguni’s not being and asshole and doesn’t hate takeru that’s just how it is in a long term relationship #you drag each other it’s a love language #tattas just excited to be here

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lovesgonnabe · 3 years

Text

Love Is Worth It - Episode III: When Boy Meets Girl

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, cursing, slight Implied smut

Word Count: 2126

Summary: What happens when boy meets girl and that boy underestimates that girl?

AN/Disclaimer: It has been a while since I’ve written so please bear with my rustiness, and there’s slight edits so there may be errors. italicized is a flashback.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics if you would like to join the taglist message me.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

December 14, 2019 - 3rd Person

Every Year Chris, Maya and their friends get together and do a Friendsgiving in December to celebrate holidays.

This year it was the Evans’s turn to host in their second home in Brooklyn, New York.

This group consisted of a good combination of Chris and Maya’s friends.

Scarlett came with her fiancé SNL Writer Colin Jost. Along with Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan and sometimes (but not this time) RDJ.

Austin, Maya’s brother of course, Tika and her fiancé. Maya met Tika while at Yale spending time in New York, and Tessa Thompson who met Maya at a glamour magazine event and has actually been quítely seeing Sebastian for the last year or so.

“You know you look a lot like Chadwick Boseman” Colin said looking at Maya’s brother Austin.

The group laughs “yeah I get that a lot” Austin says as he takes a sip of his drink.

Maya walks into the media room with a cheese board and popcorn in her hand, as their friends sat on the couches getting ready to watch a movie on the projector.

They were all sat close to the Evans fire place chatting, drinking, laughing and just enjoying eachothers company since they don't get to get together often. Especially since Chris and Scarlett are no longer actively apart of the MCU.

“Ok so what is your story, like how did you guys meet, everytime i ask Austin he refuses to tell me” Austin’s girlfriend Alana asked pointing at Maya as she sat on Chris’s lap in the love seat they were sharing.

Chris and Maya at the moment were getting a bit handsy with each other under their blanket. He was sweetly kissing her neck as he rubbed her thigh, moving his hand up to play with the elastic on the waistband of her shorts.

“Oh god I love this story” Tessa said sitting with Sebastian and grabbing some popcorn.

Chris chuckles “you wanna tell it or should I” he said smiling at her biting his lip.

“How about I start and you cut me off if I get something wrong” Maya said playfully rolling her eyes and Chris nodded.

She sat up and cleared her throat since Chris’s hand moved to shifting her shorts and panties to the side.

“Ok so I meet Chris through Scar they were in New York filming their first Avengers film, having a night off she called and asked if I wanted to go out, of course I said yes then invited Austin and Tika to go with me so I wouldn't be alone.”

”We meet up at the pool bar, we walk in and here is this six foot blonde not paying me any attention” Maya said

She shifted cuddling closer to Chris as he slowly he teased her warm slit as it slowly got wet and slick.

************************************************

Maya - September 2011

It was a warm fall evening in New York CIty the leaves were beginning to change and I was midway through my first year of my dermatology residency.

This bar was in the middle of Hell's Kitchen Manhattan and did not look like much from the outside. We went down a flight of steps into a smokey, dingy pool room.

Scarlett was in the back of the bar with two men. One brunette with sunglasses who looks to be making a joke and a blonde leaning against the pool table laughing.

When we walked up to the group the blonde and I locked eyes, even in the dim room his blue eyes pulled me under a spell. He was the first to break eye contact as we got close.

“Hey Scar thanks for the invite, I needed this break” I say hugging Scarlett.

She chuckles “it’s not a problem, we have been trying to get together for a while and I’ve been the one blowing you off”

I shrug “it’s all good this isn’t a place I’d pick to hang but it’s cool.”

My face scrunched up at my surroundings I wasn’t fond of going anywhere in Hell’s Kitchen but hey I didn’t pick the hangout this time.

We introduce both groups of friends to each other, the brunette with her was Robert or Downey and the blonde was Chris.

The first hour was pretty chill and I was having a good time just watching the crowd as the bar began to actually get full with people.

Robert opened up to me fast he is warm and inviting, telling stories and cracking a jokes about every person that passed our way. However, Chris was giving me the cold shoulder mostly gave me the side eye and sometimes a condescending smirk when he looked my way as he and Robert played on the table next to Austin and Tika’s as Scar and I drank watching the games.

“What’s wrong May it seems like you have a lot on your mind” Scar asked.

I shrugged “just thinking you know school, work, and I don't really know, I haven't been here long yet Chris keeps giving me a side eye”

Scarlett laughs “please don’t try and figure out Chris I promise it will just give you a headache.”

But I can’t stop thinking about this golden man standing in front of me without a care in the world, he enamores me, his smile was beautiful his eyes would make any women weak in the knees and I was going to figure him out by the end of the night.

When Chris and Downey finished up there game Chris stood up and looked at me like he was challenging me.

“Look at that, who’s next It seems that Downey can’t hang with the pool champ” Chris boosted.

I rose from my seat and removed my jacket “I’ll give it a shot” I said grabbing my drink.

I walked over to the pool to a brooding Chris as he smirked at me readying his pool stick.

“Can you actually play princess?” Chris asked.

He reset the pool table as I grabbed my stick smirking at his question.

I shrugged when he looked up at me “we will see, you break” I said.

As we begin our game Chris was like an open book and was so easy to read. His stance oozes confidence he played lazyly like he couldn’t be beaten. I let him win the first game no problem and he let me win the second game, while i acted like I couldn’t play.

He was making the game so boring and easy so I decided to spice the game up a bit.

“How about we make this a bit more interesting? Every ball we make into a pocket we must answer a question?” I say setting the balls.

He laughs “ok, be prepared because this could get interesting”

I smirk and break sinking the blue solid ball “I’m solids now what’s your problem with me we just meet” I said missing my second ball as I step back.

“Um I don’t have a problem it’s just you’re just a little prissy for my liking” Chris answers monitoring the table prepping his next shot.

i roll my eyes “I’m not prissy, I just I like what I like and I know what I don’t like, I guess you were listening in on Scar and I’s conversation.” I say

I leaned against the pillar next to me with my arms crossed waiting for an answer.

He shoots one in the pocket and misses the next ball yet completely avoids my question all together.

“how old are you” he asks

I roll my eyes “you know you shouldn’t ask a women her age, but since you asked nicely I’m 25” we both laugh.

The back and forth continued until he had about two balls left to win and I had five it was my turn.

I shot the first ball into the center pocket.

“if you could go anywhere in the world what would it be?” I ask

“The Swiss Alps” he said

I nod and shot ball two in the left corner pocket

“Do you have any siblings” I ask

I walk around the table analyzing my 3 shots I had left.

“Um yes one brother and two sisters” he says

Chris now looked nervous as I smirked at him laser focused.

“Don’t run scared on me now big boy” I laugh walking to my next ball.

I shot my third ball in the bottom right pocket, and we now gained a bit of a crowd forming.

He clears his throat “well damn i wish you would have told you knew how to play”

I shrugged my shoulders looking into his crystal blue eyes, smirking.

“You didn’t ask but now that you are interested I’ll tell you, I am the middle child between two very competitive brothers and a daughter of man who doesn’t like to lose” I say smiling at my brother, walking over to Austin and did our handshake.

“But I’m suppose to be the one asking the here questions sir” I say turning to Chris and smirking at him.

With my back to the table I take the shot behind my back and I sink my second to last ball into the cup.

Now everyone at the bar was watching our game with anticipation and we both only had two balls left.

“ok wow I like her Scarlett” Robert said and I laughed.

I walked up to Chris “next question if I win will you tell me how big your friend down below is because I think he is happy to see me” I whisper to him.

I brushed up against Chris as he clears his throat “I plead the fifth” he says standing tall covering his growing friends in his jeans.

I sucked my teeth and pouted “you’re no fun.”

With only my eight ball left i decided to miss on purpose just to extend the game a little longer what can i say i was having fun messing with him.

The crowd of the entire bar though they did like that I missed an easy winning shot since they all groaned in displeasure.

Chris looked so nervous, when he lined up to his next shot his hands began to shake.

“Don’t choke on me now” I taunt him.

He takes a deep breath hits the ball to the left corner pocket the red stripe rolls as if it was going in but stops a hair short from the pocket.

Some people cheer others groan in sadness for his defeat, Chris stands back looking satisfied yet defeated.

I smirk, walking around the table and shot my ball into the right corner pocket.

The crowd cheered and Chris smirked dropping his head in defeat.

I walked up to him as people congratulated me which I found weird because all we did was play a few rounds of pool.

“That was one hell of a game young lady” he smiled trying to act cool as he leaned against the pool table.

“how about we start over?” I ask

Sticking my hand out shake he took it, smiling at me.

“I’m Maya Alonso from San Francisco and you are?”

“I’m Chris Evans from Boston” he said chucking.

“Well Mr. Evans you wouldn’t mind going out with me sometime maybe get to know each other a little better?” I smiled as we kept holding each other’s hand.

“Well Ms. Alonso I wouldn’t mind that at all, until next time.”

He let go of my hand, we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

“until next time” I whisper to myself butterflies in my belly feeling like a giddy school girl.

***********************************************

Everyone was laughing

“Se la vie, now almost ten years and one kid later, I still can’t keep my hands off of him.”Maya says

“Umm that’s not how I remember it happened.” Chris said looking at Maya confused.

“That’s exactly how I remember it” Tika laughed

“We left and he couldn’t stop talking about her, begged me to give him her number all the way back to his airbnb.” Scarlett said in between a gut wrenching laugh.

“Whatever, at the end of the day I got to the girl and that’s all that matters” Chris said holding my chin, pecking my lips continuously whispering that he loved me.

Austin sucks his teeth rolling his eyes “Alright that’s enough, y’all got a room for all that, let’s start the movie already” he said pressing play on West Side Story.

Maya laughs and goes back to kiss Chris masking the moan trying to slip from her mouth, as he slowly pushed his fingers inside her wet cave just hitting her g-spot as the movie played in the background.

#chris evans x black ofc #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x poc!reader #poc reader #woc reader #chris evans fanfiction

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