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hiswitchcraft · 1 year

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I am a witch who's trying to get back into witchcraft after an immense amount of burn out. The burn out wasn't due to the witchcraft, it was due to things piling on my brain in general. What sort of things do you suggest to ease myself back into it? If you don't have an answer that's okay, just thought to ask

I've been dealing with this myself and I actually just made a video on it that I really like not too long ago, so I think I can help you!

How to Come Back to the Craft After Burn Out (+ A Guide to doing Witchcraft with Low Spoons)

I was burnt out in general and because of the craft, particularly because of the way I was filtering my personal practice through social media. I realized a lot of my burnout was tied to pushing myself, and shame. I feel like maybe this is common. This is a mix of both personal and witchy advice, and I may be projecting, but I think you have to focus first and foremost on not rushing back in and getting overwhelmed by adding a bunch of stuff to your routine at once and trying to do everything right or perfect. A good practice or routine is sustainable, not perfect. Perfect is the enemy of good, and also the enemy of done. I've had to focus on this a lot recently.

With this in mind, you might be wondering where you should even begin when it comes to actually practicing again. Remember to go slow. I’d suggest thinking about what you were doing and interested in before and start practicing and researching whatever sounds the most fun when you’re ready. You could also go over any notes you had about your practice before, if you had a blog or something look at that, etc. You get the idea! It will help you remember and might inspire you. If you really enjoyed tarot for example, you could do that when you feel inspired to. Starting slow is important. if you want go slower you could just do whatever practices you were doing before, or like now, whenever you feel like it. You could also try working witchcraft into your routine. Routine is hard for a lot of people but it doesn’t have to be intense. It can just be adding one thing. That’s all it needs to be. It could be something you do once a month, once a week, when you wake up, after you brush your teeth, only some days or whatever you think will make you feel the best.

Of course I don’t know anything about your practice but to inspire you and others, here’s some ways you can easily introduce magic into your life.

Daily divination A tarot card every morning is what I like to do but you could use any kind of divination you like!

Meditation Meditate for a few minutes every morning/evening. Even 2 minutes makes a difference. Also, despite popular belief meditation does not have to be emptying your mind.

Dream interpretation Interpret or just journal about your dreams! Honestly journaling in general I think is great for witches.

Witchy items of the day Pick out some items to carry on you for the day. This could be crystals or herbs you want the properties of, a hag stone, or other items with properties you want to draw to you or use in your practice.

Intention in drinks & food! If you have coffee or tea every morning or day you can stir intention into it. Clockwise for things you want in, counterclockwise for things you want to banish. Or that’s the typical belief/way people suggest doing it. You can also stir sigils into it or add items to your drinks/food with or by intention.

Enchanting personal care Another way you can bring magic in your everyday life is enchanting personal care products. I’d do this for added layers of warding but you could get super creative with this and do whatever intention you like.

Sigils sigils sigils Sigils are fun to make. You can use them for a ton of other things on this list. Stir them into your drinks. Draw a sigil on your skin using lotion. Write them on your walls for warding. Sigils, sigils, ... sigils!

Spritz cleansing If you have a hard time cleansing or not a lot of energy right now when you DO have energy you can put together a mixture for cleansing using a spritz bottle and then you have it done and ready to go ahead of time for many cleansing sessions. Beware of herbs and things you add if you have any allergies/pets. Actually just research any plants you handle anyway.

Layering your wards If you’re struggling with burn out right now you probably don’t have a lot of energy so this is a tip I like for when this happens and just the long term overall. Always add small layers using different methods to your personal and spacial wards. An example of this I love is some of the above, carrying an item with strong protective properties or writing sigils on the bottom of your shoes/sewing them into your clothes/etc are some other ideas I love. Customize as needed! Be creative!

Basically just think of things you do everyday and try to make it witchy! Or think of practices you want to do more, like maybe cleansing, and figure out how to make it easier.

Also I did mention research. I think in addition to picking a practice to try again or add to your routine, picking a topic to research that sparks interest may help too. Here are some ideas for that!

Intention

Cleansing

Charging

Grounding

Warding

Circle casting

Consecration

Visualization

Meditation methods

Divination types (some are listed below)

Tarot

Oracle cards

Lenormand

Pendulums

Runes

Scrying

Astrology

Palmistry

Dream interpretation

Spell types & spell construction

Taglocks

Sigils

Other symbols & what they mean

The Theban alphabet

Color magic

Moon phases

The Elements

Correspondences of days, times, etc

Crystals

Moon water

Black salt

Plants, herbs, and spices in witchcraft

Local plants

Local history & folklore

Pantheons & their deities

Deity work

Spirit work

Astral projection

Hope this helps 💕

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catboybiologist · 5 months

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Are you comfortable with questions about your journey to HRT?

Like, mentally how you took the leap of faith from femboy to needing something more / different. Asking for, uh, *a friend*, yeah 👀

Holy shit, this got long. This springboarded me into a massive writing about how my life influenced my personal gender philosophy, and is probably more than you bargained for. But I hope it's helpful in some way! I actually had a similar conversation recently with an NB, not on HRT friend of mine. What's the jump that makes you want to do HRT?

I don't think my experience parallels that of a lot of people's - everyone's is unique. But I do think there are good takeaways from my thoughts on this. Now that I have an Adderall prescription and my quarter is about to end, I've started writing some kind of more cited and developed essay or video essay, but that's random future stuff. This post itself is gonna be a little rambling, and a little personal. Sorry!

Vaguely, I think that the *push* to start HRT was a distinct force from tearing down the internal barriers associated with HRT, if that makes any sense. For many people, I think they have some sense of a mild preference of the gender they would "want" to be, but it doesn't bother them enough to actually break down the barriers to transition. For me, breaking those barriers, both internal and external, was as important as the motivations to transition themselves.

One of the major barriers in people's heads, often without them realizing it, is some kind of inherent belief in the "sanctity" of their body. For many people, "permanent changes" are terrifying, "unnatural", and even if they don't have medical risks, intrinsically *feel* like a medical risk they're taking on some level. It's an offshoot of purity culture in a weird way- it's the same root as a fear of psychiatric medicine making you "not you". Much of this is intrinsically religious, but a lot is actually not. I had a little bit of this growing up. Being raised atheist certainly helped in this regard, even though it was still a queerphobic slavic atheism.

The tiny bit of this I did have was sanctity of my mind, which internally, I still viewed as a separate entity from my body. This was 100% incited by crushing academic pressure, which influenced how I think and my own morality in a lot of unexpected ways. I grew up in a kind of infamously high pressure education area. It sounds unrelated, but it's really not. My mind, academics, and thinking kind of got put on a pedestal on my mind. My personal image of myself was basically a detached orb of thoughts and public speaking. I had 0 connection to my body. But since my mind was everything, both psychiatric medication and HRT were these vile things that could alter how I think and my mood! Gasp!

The final, crushing blow to both of these mentalities was studying biology. And WOW there's so much I could say about how studying biology has influenced how I think about this idea, which I want to talk about a lot more outside of the scope of just a tumblr post. But to summarize- it's not even about finding a biological "reason" for transness. It's about how I saw a living thing as a detailed, dynamic, intricate, constantly changing system that is as much a function of its environment as it is any intrinsic factors. And this includes the mind. So since I'm a shambling mass of chemicals anyways..... Why not be a shambling mass of slightly different chemicals?

The "detached orb" image isn't entirely accurate, though. Because, from an early age, I did have a self image that made me happy. And it was a female one. I shoved this deeply out of my mind in shame, leaving behind the "orb". This was my "push", as I called it before. In addition to a weird separation between my mind and my body, an additional factor contributed to my detachment- a growing distress around developing male traits during puberty, which coincided in the worst ways with academic pressure during teen and preteen years. Looking back, I now recognize this as dysphoria. I don't think my dysphoria was ever as extreme as many other people. But this is why I'm emphasizing taking down barriers as much as the weight of dysphoria itself. It has always been easy to distract from my dysphoria, but it's always been my "resting state" without realizing it.

Linked a bit to the second point is also how I felt shame about exploring any aspect of my life other than academic and professional achievement. Being raised in a high pressure environment means that any exploration of my queer identity felt like a distraction from the "real" things I should be focusing on. The final thing that tore this down, which I don't recommend for ANYONE, was an almost traumatic set of events during the pandemic/my masters degree that made me have a wake up call. I wasn't structuring anything in my life for my own happiness. Going through that made me realize I was going to continue being miserable unless I changed that. So... I started taking the idea of transitioning to actually work on my happiness very seriously.

Being a femboy was actually how I tried to reconcile these things in my head. It was my attempt to "compartmentalize"- allow myself to gently indulge in gender nonconformity and the happiness associated with it, while still not making the "commitment" to fully transition. It helps that most of my existence as a femboy was crossdressing during the height of the pandemic- spending hours on analysis and writing while living alone during my MS, wearing femme outfits while I did it. And of course, taking pics to kick off this whole online persona. I also kind of liked the idea of cis gender nonconformity as a concept, and still do. I love how femboys fuck with gender, and I wanted a slice of that for myself. It wasn't enough long term, and my new commitment to happiness overcame my desire to compartmentalize.

The final barriers were practical. By the end of my masters in 2022, I knew I wanted to transition, I just needed to get my social and financial shit together. Cue moving to my PhD university, becoming active in the queer community here, having an accepting professional environment... and yeah. Here I am. Still gotta socially transition outside of my queer circles, but now, I even have a plan for that. I still got a long way to go, but for the first time, I feel like I'm going in the right direction. And I'm very, very happy.

A lot of this is not applicable to everyone. It's mostly my personal experience. But if there is one thing that I think should apply to everyone here, it's this: kill bioessentialism in your mind. Kill the concept of complete sanctity of your mind and body. Break the barriers and then let yourself move freely across the new landscape you've opened up. At the very least, you'll come out with a more healthy relationship with your cis identity. And at best, you'll find a new part of you that needed to be found.

The other thing I think is broadly applicable is this: when initially figuring things out, stop thinking about what you "are", and start thinking about what you want. Would it make you happy to grow breasts, curves, have a femme face, estrogen regulated emotions, and other transfemme HRT changes? Because those are the actual, physical effects of HRT. If the answer is yes, start it. There's no reason not to. Your identity can come later. You deserve to be happy *for the explicit purpose of being happy*. You don't need to validate that desire through some other random factor.

This got WAAAYYYY too long, but if you have any questions, please, please ask!!!!

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pigeonwit · 18 days

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I AM ASKING YOU ABOUT RACEVID (or RAVEY, or whatever it is the kids call it wbwbwb) !!!!

(i got one nice ask about it so i'm digging out this half-a-year old draft to talk about my personal racevid hcs that i cringe-cultured myself out of posting, take it away pidge-from-six-months-ago)

i honestly wasn't expecting this much racevid support. on my old newsies blog way back i made posts about these guys and they typically only got like. 3 notes? granted my writing wasn't as good so maybe i'm persuading people. or maybe the newsies fandom is finally waking up to the wonderful possibilities of multishipping. one of the two.

part two of the racevid analysis!! this one is less of an analysis of how they behave in the musical and more my own personal headcanons of their relationship and how it develops. part one (a very unpolished and rambley analysis of racevid in uksies) is here if anyone's curious!

right. so. it's act 2. jack publicly denounced and betrayed the strike. race leaves with davey, both in shame over being betrayed by (to race) the brother he grew up with and trusted more than anyone and (to davey) the guy he didn't even want to trust in the first place, but still put his faith in despite knowing better. the next day jack comes BACK, asking them both to trust him again. what would you do.

i'm of the firm belief that race only came back to the strike because davey agreed to come back, too. i don't think either of them necessarily FORGAVE jack in that moment - it'd only been a day and while we as the audience understand why jack (a frightened seventeen year old with little to no prospects or power) did what he did, we can also understand why it stung so deeply for them to be betrayed by someone they put so much faith in. especially davey - like i said in part 1, i believe davey has feelings for jack in every universe, and for him to not only trust, but fall in love with someone despite knowing better, only for it to come back and bite him (the way he KNEW it would but convinced himself otherwise) would be a humiliation that runs deep for him. but davey believes in doing the right thing, and as much as jack hurt him, he still trusts him to do what's right, too. that's another one of those strange mirrored-similarities race and davey have - davey loves so intensely that he still has faith in the good of a person, even when he believes that that person isn't good to him. race loves so intensely that if you burn the bridge you have with him, he will do everything he can to keep it from getting rebuilt.

i know both of them would forgive jack eventually. for davey, jack's family. you fight with family, you disagree, you throw things and scream in each other's faces, but you do that because you love each other and want what's best. so as long as jack's willing to put the work in, davey is, too, and he can still be mad at jack and not willing to forgive him yet while still loving him. i think race is a different story, though, especially JPB's race, who i think has a lot more grit, anger and seriousness to him than other race's. race has been with jack for years, they've grown together, talked together, maybe he hasn't always been perfect, but if jack was so scared, why he couldn't he just talk to him?! i personally view race as a kid who was very overlooked by his family (i saw that 'race has like 12 cousins in brooklyn' thing someone said and ran with it, so in my head he comes from a BIIIIG big catholic family) and so he takes it quite personally when people ignore him. in his head, jack not trusting him enough with his fears is saying he doesn't trust race the way race trusts him, doesn't see him as family the way race sees him like a brother. and i think race's response to this (in his own mentally ill 'i love you so much that i hate you for it' way) is to push him away. he's looking for reasons to resent jack here - and i think a big one of those reasons is davey.

for context; like i said in part one, my personal Racevid Story is that after the rally failure, race - being person who's used to the temporary nature of pleasure, and so grabs hold of any vice he can without thinking (gambling, smoking, fighting, etc) - would've impulsively kissed davey as a sort of 'please stay, i need help, please don't leave me in this mess alone' gesture. but i think davey is so used to shoving down his feelings and pretending he's fine that he would've gotten freaked out by the sudden notion that maybe race is attracted to him. he's barely got a handle on his feelings for jack, he's alone and scared and has no one to talk to, and now race is here, KISSING him, and it's all wonderful and confusing and TERRIFYING and he can't deal with it right now. so i think they would've just stopped, stared at each other, mumbled some kind of excuse and let themselves be dragged to their own responsibilities - race to the newsies, davey to his family, and neither of them having the nerve to actually understand what they want, because that would mean being vulnerable enough to want something.

i think jack coming back and davey immediately trusting him (despite knowing better) is going to make race angry for two reasons; first of all, like i said two paragraphs ago (fuck i'm rambling so much here) i think race would be looking for reasons to resent jack for what he did (again, coming from a very teenagery 'i love you so much i hate you for it' place), and second, i think it's also a source of jealousy for him. davey BARELY knew jack and still gave him everything. davey had no reason to trust any of them and he still did. davey could've thrown race away immediately, but he still made the effort to see him, so how dare jack cast that aside in favour of a daydream? (again, this isn't a jack criticism - this is just how i think race views the situation.) race (to me) is not used to people seeing him, certainly not used to people making an EFFORT to see him and take him seriously, and davey gave him all of that without him even needing to ask for it - and now race has messed that up and davey isn't talking to him, which he probably deserves, but jack messed up too!! why does JACK get to keep being seen? doesn't race deserve it, too? (again, i really think race's family overlooked him a lot and that's why he tries so hard to be such a commanding presence and keep peoples attention, because it hurts so much when other people are allowed attention so freely and he isn't.)

i don't buy in to davey being a mom-friend who wants to solve all his friends problems for them. i did shit like that when i was younger, and honestly i still do, and i just don't think that after the strike and all that he learned about himself, davey would fall into assuming that the only value he has is to fix things for everyone else (i mean, i do still think davey would have some issues to work out after the strike, hence 'run boy run', but not this specific issue). but i do think davey is very protective over the people he loves, and i think this rift between jack and race is affecting him, too. i think maybe the topic of jack comes up, and he tries getting race to talk more about it. when race refuses to talk, davey - finally - brings up the kiss.

this is entering fanfiction territory so im not gonna try to write out dialogue here or anything. i think itd be another example of them fumbling for a way to reach one another. neither one is used to speaking the others language, so to speak. i think race would feel especially humiliated given the turbulent situation, and i think davey would be struggling so much to find the 'right' words that he'd become defensive and panicky. and i think that would all bubble up into davey just blurting out something of the lines of 'i trust you'. and i think that'd be the thing that connects for them. not just being liked, but being seen for all their flaws and difficulties and being trusted anyways. i think that'd be the trigger for davey bullying race into finally talking to jack about what happened, race coming back to the strike, and the two of them entering a slow, tentative relationship that, as their dynamic in the show does, grows much steadier with time.

#newsies #davey jacobs #ask #walkman-cat #uksies #david jacobs #racetrack higgins #racevid

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ghastlyfilters · 25 days

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the valeska twins having a witch s/o!! (or a s/o who loves the concept and idea of witchcraft)

pairing(s): implied jeremiah valeska and jerome valeska x reader

warning(s): absolutely none! but if anyone who reads this doesn’t agree with wicca and bashes it, js leave man 😭

(got this as a little idea because i myself study wicca, and my mother is a grey witch and eclectic. so when i went into town the other day and went into one of my fav wiccan shops, i couldn’t help but think of these two!! also it’s 2am so i’m so sorry for not proof reading this!)

JEROME

• Jerome definitely has no knowledge on witchcraft whatsoever.

• Sure, he knew the whole fortune telling thing from Mr Cicero in the circus and had a few readings from him (back before he knew that was his father) but if you’d have asked him if he believed it, he would have immediately burst into a fit of giggles.

• He doesn’t want to judge you as he’s realised how passionate you are about your beliefs, but he was a little uninterested in learning about the history of it all.

“So you know about Salem, right? The Witch trials?”

“… Salem? Ain’t that where they filmed Hocus Pocus?”

“JEROME!”

• It took a while to get him to take it all in, but you were surprised to find out he actually enjoyed the weeks you spent teaching him on the history of how your beliefs came to be.

• You have to be careful on when you decide to burn incense. If you choose to, make sure Jerome ain’t lurking around. He’s oddly got quite a sensitive nose. So most incense sticks make him sneeze or he either complains about the smell. Shame.

• On nights he feels particularly loopy, he begs you to give him a tarot reading. You were shocked the first time he asked, but you kept putting it off, telling him he had to be in the right mindset for both him and yourself to focus.

• When you DID however give in and do his cards one day, he got the death card, and began to freak out.. not knowing that the death card didn’t necessarily mean death itself.

“DOLL, IF I DIE NOW.. I WANT IT TO BE ON MY OWN TERMS!”

“Jerome that’s not-”

“I HATE THIS.”

• He knocked SEVERAL candles over during that one reading, and when his coat caught on fire.. yeah it was time to stop..

• There’s been days you’ve felt his energy, being the empath that you are. And you know when he’s thinking about his childhood again.

• You asked him if you could do a little something for him with some of your oils, just to perhaps protect him from any negative thoughts that directed back to his past.

• Everytime you light a candle for yourself or others, you have to remind Jerome each time. If you don’t, he’ll just blow it out and walk right past.

• He fucking LOVES your ring collection. There’s a specific ring you have that he finds rather amusing to look at. It’s moonstone, and you’ve found him sitting playing with it on multiple occasions. It really is eye catching.

• His fav crystals are definitely Tiger’s Eye and Lapis Lazuli.

• He had no clue there were different types of witches. Black, grey, white, red, green. And many more.

“What about ginger witches?”

“Well- okay yeah I suppose they exist too..”

• Overall, your beliefs are another quirk that Jerome finds so intriguing about you. He knows that when he’s with you, he’s protected. As you are with him.

JEREMIAH (POST SPRAY)

• Unlike his brother, Jeremiah does actually have some knowledge on witchcraft. Mostly because his adopted family when he was sent away were Christians, and always spoke of Wicca as satanic worship. But Jeremiah wasn’t that stupid.

• He actually showers you with new gifts that you can use for what you do. And he LOVES the scent of incense. So he makes sure you’re stocked up on that at all times.

• Jeremiah actually came forward to you once about something he’d never really been able to talk about to anyone. And he had wondered if you’d be able to make this specific thing go away. Jeremiah had a certain sleep paralysis demon torment him for years, and unfortunately he’d had to grow used to it. But when he figured out there was things you could do to help, he knew to approach you about it.

• He’s very interested in your clairvoyance. You’ve told him about visions you’ve had in dreams, and it’s always intrigued him. But he’s even more surprised when your visions have came to be. Some unwanted, some rather pleasant.

• However, when it comes to readings, he’s a bit cocky. He likes to think he already knows what his future holds.

• Whenever Jeremiah feels awfully run down or fatigued, he enjoys allowing you to rub oils on his temples. This is more often than you’d think. When you tell him to close his eyes, he does so. And the more you try to relax him, the more it gives him the tingles. He actually shivers at the thought of it. He loves it.

• He knows the Mercury Retrograde means a lot to you, so when you insist on having to do your own little private things for that occasion, he doesn’t bother you.

• He’s watched you burning your intentions on little notes from inside of his hideout. He thinks you standing there as the smoke from your small cauldron descends into the night air is quite a beautiful sight.

• Jeremiah used to get awful night terrors in his bunker, and even now he still uses the method you always instructed him to vision. He imagines himself in a mirrored dome, his desires and whatever he values are inside with him. Whatever is on the outside stays on the outside. And anything that’s inside, including himself, is along the mirrors facing the outside. Meaning that the mirrors are a method of not allowing anything else in.

• Yes, Jeremiah is rather private about all of this, but he’s found great comfort in using strategies you’ve taught him. Like Jerome, he feels very protected with you. And you’ve helped him get rid of many things that once stood in his way. But beware. There’s also many things Jeremiah might try and use, that perhaps go a little too far in your books..

YOOOOOO THIS WAS INCREDIBLY FUN TO MAKE!! i know it’s been a while since i last wrote, but i am slowly coming back. so why not start off with the two most memorable we all know and love? <3

#jerome valeska #jeremiah valeska #the valeska twins #gotham #headcanons #character headcanons #wicca #witchcraft #s/o #x reader #cameron monaghan #valeska twins #jerome valeska headcanons #jeremiah valeska headcanons #jerome #jeremiah #ghastlyfilters #jeremiah valeska x reader #jerome valeska x reader

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gentil-minou · 5 months

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Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for voting third-party. I know a lot of folks have said third-party votes are wasted, but with the way things are going, I'll probably vote third-party, too, and it's nice to know there are other people out there who care more about following their beliefs than standing by a broken system.

Maybe this will be the election people realize it's not a waste.

(Also, I'm sorry folks are being nasty in your inbox. Hope things get better soon. On all counts.)

<3 <3 <3

Thank you for also voting third party!! I used to do it more back when I first started voting because I actually believed in the democratic process, until I was disillusioned by a rigged system and started voting blue because it felt like I had no choice.

Every year I voted blue I had to convince myself "this is fine. This is better than the other guy" even though I knew their warmongering policies and how they leaned too close to the center for comfort. Voting Clinton and Biden last couple cycles felt like I had to, because I was able to wear the blinders long enough to gaslight myself into thinking I actually wanted them as my president. Because I had to or else I'd "waste my vote"

I refuse to do that anymore. Now I realize I'd waste my vote by giving it to someone who would rather see us dead than lose their money and power. I'd waste my vote giving it to a broken system.

The people shaming everyone to vote blue act like I'm voting for Trump by default if I don't vote Biden, and look i followed the same rhetoric in 2020. I'm sure if you go back in my posts I said the same thing.

But the line was crossed somewhere around the minute I learned my money funded the deaths of thousands, and always has. The line was crossed when I learned the president I called into power cares more about his military pet project than life. The line was crossed when I realized Biden is old enough to remember when Palestine was it's own free nation but refuses to, because he follows the age old American tactic of "This land is my land, actually, not yours"

So yeah I'm done with feeding into a system like that.

And here's the thing about this newest generation of voters: they are soooo powerful and they are so much braver than I was at their age. They know that meaningful movement and cooperation can overtake a corrupted system. The Dems and Republicans are both terrified of them because they know they're not as easy to indoctrinate into their philosophy.

I genuinely believe that if we can use the millions and millions of people who voice support for Palestine to also put their vote towards someone else, like Claudia in the socialist party who I've been keeping an eye on or the representatives that have actually backed up calls for ceasefire, like Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar and I'm proud to say my own rep, who are trying to move the dem party to a place that actually represents me.

If millions back a third party candidate, that says something. It says we aren't going to fall into the traps laid by the generations before us. It's says we are going to fight for what we believe in.

Revolution does not happen in a year or two. It takes a lifetime. And if there's anything that I've learned from Palestinians it's that the cause for a truly free world is worth fighting for no matter how many decades it takes.

#ive made my stance on this very clear and frankly i dont want to waste anymore time on white men in power when i could be uplifiting #palestinians voices and supporting change #so we can have a free palestine in my life time #so im going to block everyone who comes to my inbox/comments trying to shame me into voting for biden #you may have your eyes and hearts firmly closed but i refuse to #joe biden #free palestine #genocide joe

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imjulia-andilikecats · 3 months

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Why I Ship Mareven and Yes, I'm Aware that They're Toxic

I've noticed a couple of posts questioning how some readers ship Mareven given how toxic it was and proceed to list off all the terrible things that they did to each other through out the series.

Before I start my rant. Warning, this is long and I might just ramble at the end. Also please be reminded that these are MY reasons, as to why I enjoy this ship. I don't represent the whole Mareven shipping team. I made this post based on MY observation and the desire to absolve myself from the feeling of shame for liking Mareven.

We can't deny it. Anyone who read the series, even just the first book could easily tell that Mareven is toxic.

Which leads to the most common question for this ship. Why is Mare and Maven still being shipped even after Maven's betrayal and even past Glass Sword?

Simple, it's their unique and complex dynamic. They are both deeply flawed characters that have frightening similarities. Which could have lead to a wonderful friendship or a romantic one.

However, due to their social status and political beliefs. Mare joining the Scarlet Guard to free the Reds and Newbloods from Silver rule. Maven wanting to be king of Norta and was willing to do ANYTHING to keep his crown . They are of opposition to each other's goals, which lead them being sworn enemies. Causing severe pain and suffering to the other, when given the opportunity.

Yet, there would be moments between the cruel actions and harsh words. Where one of them would show affection in hopes of rekindling what they had and the other mourning the person that they thought they knew.

Even viewing them through the lense of a non-shipper. They have a fascinating exchange of dialogue and the uncomfortable amount of tension whenever they are near each other, even the mere mention of the other's name would momentarily push them off balance. There was simply no dull moment between these two.

The REAL question should be: "Is Mareven being a toxic ship REALLY the reason some readers dislike the ship OR is there something else at play?

Before I continue: It's understandable not to like a ship, if a toxic relationships between fictional characters aren't your cup of tea.

However! I don't think "being toxic" should be the daming reason to fully drop a ship and EXPECT everyone else to do so. Because I feel that those Mareven Ship "Dislikers" don't seem to detect the MAIN cause of their dislike for this ship.

I think the dislike of the ship could be attributed from some Mareven fanfics and shippers. Maybe they dislike how they treated Mare and Maven when paired together.

For example: Mare being seen as an object or tool in fixing Maven and making him happy. Void of any emotion or flaws, as she is simply an extension to the desires and fantasies of the writer. Other cases, some Mareven shippers openly trash Mare for not reciprocating Maven's affections, as they see him as a unloved child that needs a hug. Seeming to forget that Maven is completely capable of committing atocities against the people he "loves" and other characters that were unfortunate enough to encounter him and his mother.

The simplification and misinterpretation of both complex characters once they are viewed as a couple is frustrating.

Which is why I think the EXTERNAL FACTORS, such as SOME Mareven fanfics and shippers surrounding the Mareven ship, are MOSTLY the cause that ignited the dislike for the ship not just Mareven being toxic.

To put it simply, there is nothing wrong or shameful for liking a toxic ship like Mareven. It does not AUTOMATICALLY mean you have a twisted perception of what a functioning relationship should be nor have poor reading comprehension.

I also noticed that some of those post that dislike Mareven are also Maven fans, claiming that Maven is their favorite character and are also aware of his flaws (and crimes).

So, I can even throw the same argument to them.

What's the difference between liking Maven Calore, one of the main antagonist of the series that caused harm to a number of characters, and liking Mareven that is a toxic ship where both characters were toxic towards each other?

Note: Since it's a veey messy essay. I am more than open for a discussion.

#red queen #mare barrow #glass sword #war storm #king's cage #cal calore #maven calore #old meme #random #tiberias vii calore #mareven #elara merandus #i know its not a big issue here #but I end up jot being in good terms with one of those Mareven dislikers

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bonefall · 1 year

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Ok, I decided I might as well put out that Hollyleaf ask I mentioned. So I was thinking about your Hollyleaf and how while I love some aspects of her and think they are preferable to canon, there feels like there's something that I liked missing in her relative to canon Hollyleaf that I have suggestions on how you reincorporate. So what I really like: I love how you give Hollyleaf a political arc, with her constant musings on Clan life and the world being actually relevant to the narrative and her clearly going from one position to another based on her life experience, as opposed to canon where she's open-minded and fascinated by other cultures when the plot requires it and then a super conservative rule follower who believes the Clans' way of life is the only legitimate one when the plot requires that, without any clear arc of going from one place to another.

But one thing I like about canon Hollyleaf that I feel is missing from yours is the way she is a complete wreck by the end - she can't stand her birth being against the code, she can't stand the life she's build being broken, her guilt over murdering someone to make those feelings go away only drives her further into her broken mental state and leads her to ironically undoing the very thing she killed for. She is despairing about having any sort of purpose to her life, about being evil herself even as she tries to convince herself she is a hero doing what's right and thus has a right to punish everyone, and she runs away to get away from it all. And I feel like the fire scene (perhaps with the help of previous events) destroying the foundations of what she's built her life on has more of an impact than just her calmly, philosophically deciding "all right, I'm mad at my parents, I choose revenge and evil now".

All of which is to say, I had some ideas I wanted to suggest on how these aspects could be preserved in your Hollyleaf, which is incorporating some of a Hollyleaf AU I made myself adapted to your world. Since in Bonefall AU she learns about the prophecy at the same time she learns about her parentage, it could be both revelations that really impact her. She's always seen herself as the hero, wanting to be a medicine cat because that's the position where she gets to save people and be important and everyone appreciates her for it for example. And she's always wanted to be the good Clan cat who serves and is beloved by StarClan, even if she has varied on whether she wanted to do it by following Firestar's example and ideology or something else. So maybe finding out about the prophecy makes her horrified - she's some kind of abomination that exists beyond StarClan, who StarClan is terrified of, and in her mind that makes her evil, an abomination against the ancestors she loves and worships destined to destroy everything good. Then when you add to this her arc of diplomacy and Fire Alone going wrong, maybe it could not just be a sense of betrayal in play but also guilt; her diplomatic attitude resulted in something bad happening to someone else and she was already dealing with feelings of being bad and horrible for that which her ego and belief she had to be a hero couldn't take. And then there's how her parentage ties into this - while the rule wasn't originally about this, I would imagine in your rewrite the kits of medicine cats would have a cultural connotation of being cursed, evil, abominations from the fact that all of them in recent memories had been leaders who ended up in the Dark Forest (Ripplestar, Brokenstar, Leopardstar), so this could add to these feelings and maybe feel she should punish Leafpool for creating kits like her that would destroy the Clans and punish Squirrelflight for covering it up so the Clans didn't know the danger in their midst.

But of course, she can't take thinking of herself as wrong and evil, so her shame causes her to break down further and take drastic actions to punish everyone who did wrong before StarClan as if in her zeal she can make it up to them, prove that despite her birth and "curse" she can still be StarClan's favored "adopted child", and make up for the harm her previous "evil" support of Fire Alone has caused. Maybe if she punishes Leafpool hard enough she will defy her "fate".

And then you add in Sol, who is the antithesis of what she believes but yet seems to have some kind of connection with her, and maybe Sol plays on her feelings of shame and anger to try to get her to do what he wants. Then by Hollyleaf's Century, realizing she has Sol's powers now puts her even deeper into that state of feeling she has to make up for something, and now she thinks she will prove her nobility and heroism to StarClan by saving them all from their environmental destruction, showing she's such a loyal servant to them by implementing the Clans' way of life, the only good way of life, decades early, and never making the mistakes she's made in the past! Then maybe she wouldn't have to feel she is an abomination anymore, maybe she can make up for existing. All of which ironically plays into just what Sol wanted.

She could be contrasted with Jayfeather where she realizes with the benefit of 100 years of hindsight that her brother didn't care about pleasing StarClan, that he accepted his existence was in defiance of it and proudly committed sacrilege (so she knows about this, maybe he could confess what happened with Hazeltail to Hollyleaf thinking she would understand due to their shared experience with the prophecy, only for her to criticize him and want him punished, leading him to realize how much she changed) - and yet he was a better and more truly heroic cat than she ever was. And this helps slowly push her out of her mindset. Not sure how Bonefall Lionblaze plays into this since he seems a bit too similar to Hollyleaf in his reaction to having powers, though.

So what do you think of these suggestions for Hollyleaf?

They sound great! I think Cruel Season is coming together.

Cruel Season is going to be a book between the episodic Po3 and the narrative-driven OotS, where the majority of Holly's breakdown is contained. It bridges the gap between the casual tone of Po3 and the serious one of OotS. Here's the plan;

The prophecy is revealed at the end of Po3, and Cruel Season opens up with the three grappling with it.

This sets the stage for the following;

Hollyleaf worrying she is an abomination because StarClan is terrified of her,

Lionblaze concerned for what this means in terms of how he will protect ThunderClan if he is so powerful he could destroy it, and

Jayfeather confirming to himself that StarClan is full of assholes, telling his siblings that he fought Molefall to save Hazeltail.

ASHFUR LEARNS TOO, and puts together that the Fire and Tiger prophecy + Kin of your Kin prophecy = Disaster

This, plus the death of Brackenfur in the previous arc, causes Holly to start isolating herself. She doesn't know what to think. She's supposed to be a hero, a prodigy, but what does that mean if StarClan is already terrified of her?

There must be something else they know that she doesn't. And her siblings... Jayfeather IS a problem to them, isn't he?

But that's still her brother. Cracks are starting to form but she's not gone yet. This is when Sol pops back up, offering to be someone to talk to.

Harry is thinking this is for more manipulation, Sol itself is taking an interest in a possible new vessel as he grows bored.

This time, the Fire is NOT random. Unknown to the Three, this is a Dark Forest plot.

Thornclaw (knows the territory), Whiskernose (established as knowing how to manage fires in TNP), and Breezepelt (breezepelt) are creating a diversion so they can murder Firestar

Regardless, the Three are caught in it. Ashfur makes his infamous move, cue The Fire Scene

I mentioned before how it goes in the rewrite, but here is is again for newcomers, those who missed it, and people who want a refresher;

BONEFALL FIRE SCENE

The Three are trapped in the blaze, Squirrelflight appears and is trying to kick a weak tree over so they can escape

Ashfur: "I CANT LET YOU DO THAT SQUIRRELFLIGHT"

They have a fight, Ashfur shouting about the prophecy, Fire and Tiger + Kin of your Kin = they are fated to destroy the clans, if Squilf has chosen him this never would have happened

Squilf is pinned, but reveals with passion, "BRAMBLECLAW'S KITTENS ARE DEAD, THESE AREN'T MINE"

Ashfur is confused just enough that she's able to muster a massive kick, sending him flying into the weak tree, knocking it over

Lionblaze races across this tree to help Squilf, smacking Ashfur across the face

It's a Moment, Lionblaze seeing his mentor both furious and terrified of him, blood on his claws

Ashfur absconds, leaving the Three with Squilf

Now this next part is important and is a big change of motivation from canon; I want it to be clear that Holly killing Ashfur is 100% her REVENGE. It's not about safety, nor about keeping the secret. So here's how it goes;

The blood on Lionblaze's paw, Squirrelflight’s wounds, and the absence of Ashfur is DEFINITIVE PROOF he tried to murder them

Brambleclaw, the deputy and defacto leader because Firestar is missing, is furious and declares that if Ashfur is seen on ThunderClan territory, he is to be considered a rogue and to be brought to justice.

Ferncloud, Cloudtail, and the rest of Ashfur's associates are shocked.

Birchfall may try to ask "are you SURE?" But immediately regrets it, seeing the haunted look in their eyes.

Especially Lionblaze, Ashfur's apprentice. He's devastated.

When Hollyleaf hunts Ashfur down later, she is IGNORING the order to bring him to justice.

But before that happens... they discover the body of Firestar.

His throat is torn out. It's immediately assumed that Ashfur did it.

"He wanted to hurt Squirrelflight so badly he settled for her father..." -Ferncloud

Hollyleaf alone realizes that he had black fur in his claws during his vigil later...

And she removes it.

She speaks to Sol about this and he tells her that it was surely an omen.

It means SHE is responsible in some way.

She agrees and adds,

"I'll do what has to be done, I will prove I'm worthy! I'll exact justice on everyone who needs it, this black-furred killer, Ashfur, and the one who broke the code and set these events into motion with my birth"

Sol: "oh my me this woman is crazy i need to possess her"

Lionblaze remains very close with Squirrelflight, getting more of the truth from her. Hes confused and upset, but, accepts that she did it to protect them and Leafpool... even though he doesn't Get It yet.

(Squilf is always his mom and he has no doubt about this)

Jayfeather really doesn't want to hear it, having independently worked out that the only other parent they could have is Leafpool (since this wouldn't be a Federal Fucking Issue if it was Cloudtail) and... that evokes a lot of negative emotions.

Buuuuuuuuuut all this turmoil starts causing him to lean on Poppyfrost for escapism. He leans on her too hard and she got pregnant. JayFUMBLE.

Hollyleaf kills Ashfur. Raggedy from living on his own for several weeks, missing his Clan, hoping to face justice and find mercy for being unsuccessful, it wasn't a fight. It was a murder.

(This is important for TBC later, as Ashfur is allowed into Silverpelt over this while also making sure that StarClan isn't accidentally incompetent like canon)

Next on Hollyleaf's list; Leafpool

The Reveal at the Gathering happens

Bramblestar IMMEDIATELY demotes Squirrelflight from her deputy role for covering this up, breaks up with her, and disowns his children.

Assures the gathering that there will be consequences for Leafpool, and promotes Thornclaw to deputyship on the spot.

Jayfeather is now the only Cleric of ThunderClan.

Breezepelt, who was tense but friendly with the Three, has declared them his enemies because Crowfeather CAVED IMMEDIATELY and admitted he loved Leafpool, embarrassing him in public AGAIN by making it clear he was not wanted

"They're the reason he treats me like this! They're disgusting! They shouldn't have been born! I thought they were my friends but they were actually part of my torment!"

ThunderClan IMMEDIATELY starts treating the Three differently, because they are halfclan and cleric children

Lionblaze suddenly understands what Squilf meant by, "I did it to protect my sister, but also to protect the three of you"

"Sometimes keeping secrets is Good Actually," concludes Lionblaze

Opinions are split about Squilf and Leafpool,

"Squilf was protected by the Queen’s Rights"

"Leafpool still broke the code tho"

"That should have stayed between her and StarClan, she did the right thing"

"That law is stupid anyway!"

"Uhhh no it's not? Brokenstar? Ripplestar? Leopardstar? Helloo??"

"Are you saying Squilf's kids are tyrants? What is wrong with you?"

"I'm saying you don't respect the code you heathen!"

"She still lied to Bramblestar and needs consequences!"

"A halfclan cat is a halfclan cat! It was revealed and we must deal with it!"

ThunderClan is fighting, basically.

Holly has her scene later of trying to get Leafpool to eat deathberries, like canon Leaf is a queen who's like, "...girl you can't hurt me more than I already am"

And this is the point where Poppyfrost realizes she is pregnant. They're Jayfeather's. He is the only Cleric in ThunderClan, Poppyfrost does not want to be a single mother, it's a mess.

So they contact Cinderheart and Lionblaze and ask for help. They agree-- but preparing for the arrival of the kittens means they'd need to start saying they're mates.

Cinderheart: "hey uh Hollyleaf I'm, uh, mates with your brother now?"

Hollyleaf:

"Youre McFuckinf What?"

Cindy, unable to keep a secret and not really being in love with Lionblaze, admits there are kits she needs to adopt. Hollyleaf does more deduction and jumps to the correct conclusion, Poppyfrost is pregnant because Jayfeather has violated his vow.

And she's going to do something about this.

Sol offers his services. Friendship ENDED with Harry; now HOLLYLEAF is my best friend.

Jayfeather needs to be dealt with. He has disobeyed StarClan for the last time

As he slips into the Tunnels to communicate with Rock, she follows him, planning to kill him quietly

Lionblaze intercepts this, defending Jay.

"What happened to my sister?! Hollyleaf, this isn't you!"

"A black cat killed Firestar, and I've killed that black cat! Soon I will put an end to all enemies of the Warrior Code!"

"What does that MEAN"

The fighting destabilizes the tunnel, Lionblaze is able to push Jayfeather out just in time before the rockslide

Sol saves Hollyleaf's life by teleporting her 100 years into the past, so that she isn't killed by the collapse.

Lionblaze is a tank and rocks can't kill him, when the Clan digs him out, he's just bruised and unconscious

They never find Hollyleaf's body, or any remains at all. Not even blood.

The book ends with the birth of Ivykit and Dovekit, tension settling over the entire family, pain and mourning all at once. They chose not to tell anyone about Hollyleaf's betrayal, allowing her to die as a hero.

Cinderheart admits she still loves her, and misses her with her whole heart. Lionblaze can't understand why it happened. Jayfeather is expressing his pain through anger. Poppyfrost wants to put this behind her as soon as possible.

And thus ends Cruel Season, and begins Omen of the Stars.

#Bonefall OotS #Bonefall Cruel Season #Bonefall Hollyleaf #Fallenleaf #Bonefall Rewrite #And of course Holly does her thing 100 years in the past #And goes through her entire villain arc #And comes back in the future as a changed man #Only kept unfaded for the love of her family and the thought that she could apologize

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confused-n-queer · 6 months

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So a video about Beastars gave me feelings

I just came back to this video about a year after having first watched it simply because it was in my recommended feed and I needed something to listen to and well I have left with a new litmus test for my internal growth. I feel how much my connection to the story being woven my both the creator of the video and the author of Beastars has changed in only one year. I have struggled a lot with my own sexuality gender and overall sense of self throughout my life and am only now feeling the chapter on my adolescence come to a close. When I first saw this video and read the manga I identified very strongly with Haru. Her perceived weakness as a rabbit mirrored my own having grown up as a short,unusually skinny girl with undressed health issues. I was often mad and unable to express it since my anger was seen as cute, nonthreatening, and pathetic. Any attempts at my beliefs or anger being taken seriously and being seen as an equal to my peers was met with jokes and threats. Haru's tough abrasive nature towards people she perceives as a potential threat is a defense mechanism I shared with her. I like many girls has been subjected to both what I would call aggressive sexualization, sexulization through direct comments about our clothing, bodies and behaviors as well as leering, cat-calling and all the other various degrees of sexual assault I don't wish to discuss and what I would call passive sexuialization which is the everyday messaging we received from family peers and media, aka everything from your mom telling you to put on a shirt and cover up long before you had breasts to the comments made by aunts about how "slutty" a girl walking down the street looked. My response to this was repressing my desires burring my longing to be a confident sexual being. To bury my desire to wear the short shorts and skirts and bra-less styles of the early 00's I saw modeled on my dolls and a few older girls. I wanted to be like Haru, or at least posses the sexual freedom and confidence people believe she has. Instead I felt I had to hide my burgeoning sexuality behind a screen. Instead of healthy experimentation with my peers I was introduced to sex through men far older than me online because I knew romance,dating and sex was "wrong" and "not something a girl my age thought about". So I hid full of shame so strong it nearly led me to end my own life. The craziest part, I wasn't raised in an exceptionally conservative home. My family was pretty normal, hell I was given books about puberty and was told, once, after years of pestering (something I never did as I was, in retrospect and due to trauma, a disturbingly obedient child something I'll touch on later) what sex was and was sort of permitted to learn about sex from a scientific perspective. It wasn't until my freshman year of collage that I began to unlearn all of my shame and allow myself to be and accept myself as a sexual being, you know the thing I should've been allowed to do and that most people do while going through puberty. I joined a production of RHPS and drove over an hour to the main campus and back every week to rehearse for a show where being sexual was a given, and where the words that had been embedded into my chest were shouted without malice. It was a place where "slut" and "queer" weren't dirty they just were. I had my first kiss a few months before my 19th birthday with a girl who was so kind to me and who treated me with such sincere affection and respect that I as I write this am left sobbing thinking of all she did for me. I wish I could reach out to thank her without it being weird or potentially harmful since we haven't talked since the pandemic forced a weird mutual ghosting breakup a few months into our relationship and I don't know her current situation.

I was also always "playing nurse" (of both the standard and psych-ward variety) for friends,family and strangers due to trauma and my ability to do so like Haru but in the words of John Mulany "We don't have time to unpack all of that." so I'll leave it at that.

This time around I related to Legoshi so much it hurt. My struggles in the past year or so have been much more focused on my liberation as an adult, to be myself, to learn who I am, to move freely and to demand respect for myself and others. Which of course means the issues around my gender and sexuality (but mainly my gender) came back with a vengeance so the queerness of Legoshi et all hit very hard. The past year has been an odd meeting of my old self destructive habits meeting new healthier ones.

On the bad side I had al breakdown, multiple depressive episodes, stressed myself to the point of worsening a tic disorder i didn't know i had, neglected my health, fed into my eating disorders as well as my internalized ableism, homophobia and transphobia.

On the good side I attended concerts alone and with friends, decorated my room for the first time, bought sex toys, went on dates, dressed how I wanted to, dyed and shaved my hair without asking for permission (which was extra important since my hair was the one feature I was never allowed to mess with), and worked hard to fight my body issues and eating disorders which I'm happy to say as of right now I looked into the mirror for the first time in 10 years and liked my reflection despite my body dysmorphia. All things my therapist had to give me permission to do because, like Legoshi and all the other canines in the series I was made, through my natural disposition and a dash of abuse, to be obedient to my own detriment. I'm not joking when I say the whole " a canine told to wait will wait until it dies" section is accompanying me to therapy this week and is joining my "therapeutic media metaphors I use to describe my traumas,feelings and behaviors to other people" folder.

So...yeah...people change and this video was and will probably remain a very important part of my life.

youtube

Edit: Adding onto this but also like coming back to this video as someone who's currently educating themselves on queerness after years of feeling like "ah yes I understand myself and my own sexuality and gender. This is fascinating anyways. Perhaps I'll read this manga as a cathartic work to analyze but not really dig into because I don't need to do that right now/that's not the purpose it serves right now. It serves the purpose of allowing myself to confront other stuff and like a thing despite it's stigma as weird furry shit because people can't understand the merits of using non human characters to explore human topis including sex without getting all weird"

#beastars #beastars legoshi #beastars haru #tw internalized homophobia #tw internalized ableism #tw internalized transphobia #tw body image #tw ed #tw ed descussion #tw body dysmorphia #tw body dysphoria #Youtube #therapy

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queerprayers · 11 months

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I’ve been following your blog for a while now, and it’s really been helping restore my relationship with faith. So firstly I want to say thank you. <3 I also wanted to ask how you learned to deal with adversity so well? I’ve seen other blogs on here that frequently invalidate queer christians and openly say they are not valid. How can one believe in a god that would “make all people in his image” but then turn around and tell his people to hate what he had created?

Welcome, beloved! I'm so glad this can be a good space for you and you're very welcome. My ability to deal with adversity is actually currently being tested because I wrote out a complete response for you and Tumblr did not save my draft!!! And yet we press on. Hopefully this second try from scratch is still helpful/relevant. Please assume any lack of genius is because I used it all up the first time around. :)

I'm honored you think I deal with adversity well—I have a long way to go but I am proud of where I am. Partially I've learned because I had to learn. My greatest wish was to continue being in faith communities as myself, and that sadly inherently puts me in adverse situations. I'm lucky to generally have experienced passive/"well-meaning" homophobia in my daily life rather than active violence or abuse, but it is of course still a hardship. In many ways I am not given a choice—if I live as I am, this is what I will experience. I wish this were not the case, but it is—which means part of fulfilling my journey (existing as I am within my faith) means dealing with adversity, and because of my beliefs, I strive always to deal with it in loving ways.

I know I am connected to generations of Christians experiencing adversity, both from within and outside the church, and, like many of them, I have decided it is worth it to not give up my allegiance. To be clear, I have immense empathy and respect for those who leave the church for these reasons, and I would never shame them or consider them cowardly/weak—for those I know it has been an act of bravery, strength, and self-preservation. I want everyone to be free to make that choice—and I have (sometimes grudgingly) chosen to stay.

I similarly have empathy for those who attempt to repress or choose to hide/keep private their sexuality/gender—this is a very painful experience that I wish no one had to go through, but some are driven to it. There are generations of Christians (and queer people of all religions/cultures) who have experienced this, and it's often a choice between coming out or keeping your family/community/even life. Ultimately, some people do not wish to come out, not or ever. I do encourage people to be honest with themselves and God, and try their best to seek out affirming communities for their own health/well-being and ability to freely serve God, but again, this is a choice we are free to make—and I (joyfully and painfully, in an uncomfortable but safe environment) have chosen to be out.

I've had to learn how to curate my space on the Internet and generally avoid debates with strangers—my current rule when deciding whether to give someone time when they approach me with abuse is to ask, "Would answering this be useful (to me, to them, to those who might read it)?" and "Are they saying anything worth thinking about?" Often, the answer is no. Someone telling me to kill myself does not want to have a conversation, and there's nothing to respond to. But if someone shares a specific opinion, or cites a Bible verse, or criticizes a specific belief, then there's something there that could be useful to address. And then, of course, protecting myself is also relevant. It takes energy for me to write anything, but doubly so when I know the other person isn't approaching the conversation with the same love I attempt to. If I have the energy, and feel like there's something to actually say, sometimes I'll say something.

Whether I'm responding or deleting, I am called to keep moving with prayer and love. I can't let my beliefs go out the window when I get hurt or angry (although that happens to all of us sometimes). And always always I remember that it's never about me. Homophobia comes from ignorance/fear/disgust, and although I am sometimes the one directly addressed, I am not what these people have an issue with. Problems with me living as a Christian generally come from past trauma, ideological issues with certain theologies, or ignorance/disrespect of religion generally, not me existing. Again, I'm the one being addressed, but their (often justified) anger is not about me. I'm not trying to make excuses for people, but I am making the space for my own compassion and their ability to grow, as my religion has taught me. (Obviously this doesn't include instances in which I might be the one who has made a mistake/caused harm; I'm talking about unjust adversity people experience, not consequences of actions.)

I will point out that it is much harder to deal with people like this in person. Writing involves distance and time from the aggressor. I can take a deep breath, wait a few days, choose whether to respond, and reread my words before sending them, thinking about how they might be received. But on the street? In school hallways? There is no distance and no time, and there is sometimes a lack of physical safety as well. This is when I have most often given in to anger, or meeting disgust with disgust. Obviously this has often been self-protection and survival, and I do not fault myself or anyone for not meeting oppression with perfect calm—this is impossible and not a value everyone holds. (That's a whole 'nother discussion!) When possible, though, I do try to do what I do here—if I feel safe, if I have the energy, I'm open, I ask questions. People filled with anger/fear/disgust/ignorance often can't keep it up for long.

Why do people hate, especially when they claim to value love? I don't have definite answers, although I've provided some already. I do know that most of the homophobic people I know are not abusive/violent—they are well-meaning and put-together. They genuinely want what's best for people, and think that guiding people toward repression or conversion therapy or mandated celibacy will guide their life towards God. This is a deeply mistaken perspective, that causes real harm and is full of ignorance, but I do not experience it as hate (although there is a violence present). They think I am not whole as I am, and think that loving me involves fixing me. This is not loving, but it is something I can understand more than outright abuse. It's another kind of adversity, one that sometimes hurts more long-term, partially because I can understand it more—I can't dismiss it. And these people have a hard journey—admitting they're wrong means admitting their whole worldview is broken, but also often includes making this judgment about their family/community, and might mean losing it. Again, I do not seek excuses, but context and space.

In my life, I prove them wrong by living wholly, fully, and openly. I cannot make them see my happiness—we cannot force people to open their eyes. But we can show them light where we can. We cannot save them alone, but they can be saved, and they will be. ("Save" here meaning to fully experience love, not conversion or avoidance of a traditional Hell.) I know my patience and love (the little of it I can sometimes reach) can help people, because people have told me it has, and this an honor and a privilege and an overwhelming stress and a gift from a universe I cannot move. If the way I have chosen saves even one person, it is worth it—and if we include me, then it definitely has, but even if we don't, I have witnessed others' hearts change. Moving and writing and speaking with love will not fix everything, it is not magical, but Love will save all of us—They already have. Love (who is God) is with us, even when we cannot feel it, even when we don't have the energy to comprehend it, even when we are blinded and scared and cannot admit we are wrong.

My beliefs inherently make room for people to change, even when this truth makes me mad, even when I wish I could just give up on people. Christianity, at its best, equips us to take a deep breath and remember what we were made for. As Pentecost arrives, I hold the Spirit close—I've never spoken in tongues or been set on fire (and not to jinx it but I don't really desire to), but I've felt the wind on my face and bird-watched in my backyard and sat around a bonfire with people I love. I have so far to go, and the road rises to meet me.

In summary, TL;DR, don't mean to rant but always do: I learned to deal with adversity because I had to, and with practice, while honoring others, while figuring out a path of love in this weird and confusing life, even as I fail at what I set out to do all the time, God sees what I do in the name of survival, and gives me the strength to keep going. I know anger and fear and disgust and ignorance because they're in everyone; I know what it is to believe something and do things that go against that, because I do it all the time; I know what it is to hang on to things I've been taught even when they're harmful, because I've done that. We can only pray that they do not overtake us as they overtake those who hurt us.

Blessings to you as we move through an inhospitable world (and website). May we do all the good that we can.

Grant, O God, that your holy and life-giving spirit may move every human heart, that the barriers which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease, and that, with our divisions healed, we might live in justice and peace; through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. —Lutheran Book of Worship (1978)

<3 Johanna

#asks #alright. take: 2. tangents: 12. hotel: trivago.#happy early pentecost!

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muselin · 8 months

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Sometimes I'm on here (here being the kpop real person smut writing scene) and just.... the amount of thought policing, moral policing and whatever the fuck other moral posturing and hypocrisy is just fucking heavy.

Look, there's no way you can't justify YOUR particular way of sexualising kpop idols as more "right" than someone else's and still claim freedom of expression and creativity. People are horny, people write and read all kinds of genres of smut for all kinds of purposes. Some do it as mental gymnastics, others as a creative challenge, others as a way of exploring their own sexuality and dealing with sexual traumas, some just as a horny outlet. At the end of the day, we are all writing and reading FICTION. We do not personally know the idols we write about and 99.9% of us never will. What we do is no different than the endless amounts of chatter and imaginary thought vomit about various western celebrities on twitter or whatever. It's a hive mind of opinions, fantasies, observations and wishful thinking.

Then there are the facts of the kpop smut writer hive mind, such as that the vast majority of writers are either female or non-binary and represent a vast spectrum of neurodiverse and mental health conditions as well. The role of culture differences in beliefs about sexuality and sexual behaviour is also vast and hugely important. These types of creative communities have been surviving sexism, ageism, discrimination, kink shaming, erasure and creative stifling and undervaluing for decades, and I would never be so arrogant as to say that I know what's "right" to write about and what is not, and judge people for what they choose to write simply because I personally don't like it.

Personally I don't like pregnancy fics, they give me a bit of ick. I also don't enjoy ones to do with having kids, weddings and marriage. Is it because I personally don't want to be married or have children? Actually no, I want both! I just have other preferences in the sort of fics I read. Do I go around blocking, shit talking and witch hunting the authors who post those type of fics? No. Why? Well, because while I understand the concept of curating what I see online, I can also consider the fact that some day one of those fics might pop up on my dash that intrigues me and that I end up loving, and if I've put myself in a bubble where that whole genre is erased from my online experience I will never have that chance. Also because I've gone through so many phases as a reader and writer myself, and I understand that my preferences and that of the readership may change with time. And this has happened with like half a dozen kinks for me, like when I first saw or heard of them I was somewhat repulsed or turned off, but after either learning more about it or having an IRL experience with it I've come to enjoy it and changed my mind. I mean come on, when you think about even something like anal sex too hard you can gross yourself out, and in some countries around the world it is illegal, but humans have been doing it from before we created writing.

Please be a little more open minded and curious rather than judgmental. And don't kink shame.

#aunty muselin

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symptoms-syndrome · 9 months

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I've always pushed back on the idea that I hold the belief that feeling emotions makes me a manipulative person. Which is correct, I don't believe that. I have, however, put the pieces together today that feeling emotions is not manipulative of me to do but letting other people know, in any way, what those emotions are? That's manipulative of me actually.

It's not really. But I am working on combatting the idea that it is. An idea definitely conditioned into me. I cried in therapy today, I don't remember about what, and while I've done that before, for the first time it felt like someone was begging in an all-too-familiar way, saying "I promise I'm not trying to! I'm trying very hard to stop!" I used to say that a lot. I don't know if I just cried easily or whether I had a lot worth crying about. But my parents, and later teachers, paras, psychologists, therapists would roll their eyes, scold me, tell me I was just trying to get out of something, tell me I was being manipulative, tell me I was just trying to get pity, tell me I could stop my fake crying whenever I wanted and crying wouldn't help anyway. I had a memory of being very very little and hearing my mom tell me she was allergic to crying, and if I cried too much she'd die. It started this weird cycle, whenever I started crying I would start to freak out about how I was crying, which made me cry harder because I'd get so scared of what would happen if someone saw me crying. I did try very very hard to stop and I'd try and tell people that, but no one seemed to believe me. I was making such a big display of being upset, obviously I had a motive, I cried only because I wanted to make a scene and draw attention to myself. This happened when I had sobbing, hiccupping tearful meltdowns, but it happened just as consistently when I'd be trying to sniffle as quietly as I could and not talk so no one could hear my voice break. They were both treated as if I had thrown myself the biggest pity party, when what I wanted most in those moments was for no one to look at me or see me or acknowledge me.

I don't know why I didn't remember this. But it makes a lot of sense. I feel a lot of shame about crying and always feel really guilty about it. I think it's a big reason why I shy away very hard from offers of compassion from other people IRL, I'm really really afraid of crying on them and being manipulative bc of it. Crying is for private moments only. Being witnessed crying just means I'm trying to get noticed and coddled or whatever. A pity party.

#ask to tag

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fierceawakening · 10 months

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So I think the thing that's not translating wrt the boundary discussion is that like... something being a basic human need does not mean that any one person is required to give people that thing.

people's worst impulses often come from basic human needs. people need attention and care and love and are willing to do horrible, horrible things to get it. this does not make the horrible things somehow okay-- and it also does not mean that you are required to drop everything to meet those needs so that they won't do horrible things.

figuring out how to get those needs met in a healthy, safe, loving way is an individual person's responsibility. if they can't do that? it's a crying shame. but it's also not the job of people around them to put aside their other basic needs (like "physical and mental safety" and "privacy") to take care of them.

because at the end of the day, you are responsible for figuring out how to meet your own needs, and trying to force yourself to meet the needs of everyone around you means you burn out fast and hard. even if you work as a professional caregiver, you need parts of your life where you put yourself first.

you've been conditioned to put your own needs aside for other people's benefit-- which is real common for people with parents like ours- but like, that's the opposite side of the same coin. it's not actually the ethical thing to do here, no matter how much other people might tell you it is.

Thank you, yes.

This is the thing I'm trying to articulate, and the thing I feel like a lot of people on Tumblr don't acknowledge.

Sometimes I feel like people don't acknowledge it because they don't actually know people like you and me exist, which would mean they think they're asking for a small thing when they're actually asking for a big thing. ("Let me be narcissistic" as "Don't judge me for having a delusional belief in my own inherent superiority, as lots of people believe very weird things and you ignore them" vs. "Let me be narcissistic" as "Don't let on that YOU believe I'm not superior because hearing that will hurt me. Dance around it forever to protect me, because I'm in pain." Which is the thing I hear, usually. And I'm like, "I can dance around it a LITTLE bit right this SECOND to be courteous, but long term? Nah, bro, nah. BTDT.")

Sometimes, though, I feel like people don't acknowledge it as a power move. ("If I say that, as a narcissist, I need supply, I can turn a whole social media site into a generator. Especially if I tell them they're ableist if they don't pitch in. Isms mean you're evil. No one wants to be called ist, and they'll do a lot to avoid it.")

And that's what I feel like no one wants to talk about, I think. That sometimes maybe it's just a power move. That if you suspect it might be a power move, it's not actually weird or uncalled for that your reaction isn't just "no," it's seasoned with emotions like anger, or judgment of character, or "first of all how dare you."

Do I know for sure if it's a power move on my mom's part, or if it's legitimate psychic pain? No, I don't, and thinking about that in depth I suspect it's a mix of both.

But here's the thing.

If I think it might be a power move? Then there's not actually something untoward about me being angry. About my reaction not JUST being "I can't do that for you without killing myself, so I regretfully choose not to," but being, you know, "Hey! Fuck you!"

And what I want right now is reassurance that "Hey! Fuck you!" is a way I get to feel.

Which I think everyone is saying! But when people say "Oh, but it might be a legitimate access need," I start to feel guilty or weird for "Hey! Fuck you!"

So what I think I need from people (if they agree with this, but I think they do agree?) is

"Keep screaming 'Fuck you' if that's what you feel like doing. It's okay to leave 'what is the legitimate access need here, if any?' to one side right now. Maybe forever!

"'Fuck you' is the reaction you're SUPPOSED to be having to realizing this isn't just annoying but abusive. You can decide what to forgive later, if anything--for now, the forgive is Jesus's job."

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andpierres · 1 year

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I 100% agree we should be careful about what we reblog and be aware of who the terfs are in our community and block them, but can we not pretend it’s easy? I’m sorry but it IS hard, and I’m hoping as a fellow trans person you can understand this. I mean, to make sure someone is not a terf that means possibly subjecting yourself to transphobic posts that can be distressing/dysphoric/triggering/etc. And I’m not saying we should be slacking just because it’s hard, i just want to recognize that it takes a toll. And people could say “You don’t have to go through someone’s posts, you can just go through a blocklist,” but at the same time we preach “do your own research,” and I’m someone who wants to do my own research before blocking (because come on, it’s the internet 🙄). You don’t have to respond to this at all, and I’m sure you said the whole “it’s not that hard” thing because you’re frustrated and I totally get that, just it is hard sometimes… like I just went through that persons blog rn to see what made them a terf and now I wish I could put my brain through the washer machine lmao seeing that shit just really takes a toll. Anyways, again, no hate to you, and no need to respond. you’re one of my favorite artists and I appreciate you for making us aware of the terfs causing harm in our community!

i wasn't really sure how to respond to this, because i do appreciate the kind words (thank you!). but at the same time, i want to, as gently as i can, combat the idea that making our community safer for one another -- particularly for trans women & trans fems -- requires a level of effort that we shouldn't try to put in.

i know it sucks. im subjecting myself to the same posts you are. and that part, unfortunately, never really gets easier, at least it hasn't for me, even in all the years ive been on this goddamn website. what DOES get easier, though, is learning how to recognize terf dogwhistles, and finding tools to use to make the overall process easier, like shinigami eyes. this allows me to spend less time actually hunting on terf blogs, which makes the process both faster and much easier to handle.

but obviously, still, not everyone can do this. particularly trans women!! which is, again, why we have things like shinigami eyes, as well as the work of other people in our community to double check allegations for you. i do think it's important to double check information, obviously -- but if the notes on a post confirm the information presented to you, i do think it's also important, and healthy, to foster a certain level of trust with each other. double check your sources, yeah, but if double checking the sources would do you harm, well... that's why i made the post in the first place!

ANYWAY. the point of me saying all this isn't to shame you or blame you or anything like that -- and im sorry that you had to experience all their bullshit for yourself. maybe framing it as "easy" wasn't the best wording on my part -- rather, i think that it's worth it to invest time in understanding WHY terf beliefs are harmful, why they choose to believe them, the goals of their community and such, because then, instead of simply seeing "x is a terf" and having to scroll on their blog until they all but say "yeah I'm a terf", you can spot patterns and ways of thinking that will tell you someone is a terf even if they don't put that they are one directly on their blog description or something. this is super important when it comes to spotting cryptoterfs especially.

again, you're very sweet, and i appreciate you reaching out. more than anything else, please take care of yourself!

#text #anonymous #idk how to tag this SORRY

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years

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what about the raven herself?

Welp, I didn’t expect this one 😅 but since you asked, I’ll provide!

***Standard disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions of the character(s); regardless of what I may think of them, sharing my thoughts is NOT meant to offend or to shame anyone that thinks differently.*** Do I really need to slap the standard disclaimer on a character opinion bingo about my own OC??????

Raven 🥺 my child............................. .. . ....... . .... . .. . .. ......... . . . . .. . .... .. . my birb dotter........... . . . ..... . . . .. ..... . . . .. ... ... . . . .. . . .

WAHAHAHAH I’m very obviously going to be biased with my thoughts 😌 so I hope you’re prepared for that—

When I first had the idea for a “blog mascot” in late spring-early summer of 2020, I had no idea just how attached to Raven I would be. Contrary to popular belief, she’s not meant to be a self-insert or a Yuusona; she’s an OC with her own lore and she exists entirely separate from Yuu. While Raven isn’t a self-insert, she happens to share the same name as my online alias (which I know can get confusing 💦), and she’s also the type of character whose struggles I can relate to. I only put bits and pieces of myself in Raven, a trait or two here and there—just enough to let me comfortably project my issues onto her. She has difficulty expressing her feelings outside of writing, and she longs for the freedom to do as she wishes, to live without restraint… and to understand herself. She feels small and helpless in a world that’s dark and confusing to navigate. In a way, writing Raven gives me a chance to explore and to cope with similar real world issues, so she brings me a sense of comfort and hope. (If you’re interested in hearing a little more about my OC creation process, I’d recommend checking out this post!)

I had many different inspirations when I was designing her looks, personality, and backstory for a cohesive character. What was most important to me was creating an OC that is both layered and “makes sense”. For example, I think a lot of people would describe Raven’s personality as “tsundere”—but why is that? Why is her personality “tsundere”? Because she doesn’t believe she deserves nice things, and she doesn’t think she belongs among humans. Because she’s been betrayed by someone she once trusted, and this reaction is the only defense mechanism she knows. Because her curse may punish her for ever getting too close to anyone. Even her design speaks to who Raven is; she’s trying so hard to emulate Crowley (but more mature), because she doesn’t have a clear sense of what her identity is or what her place in the “story” is anymore, so it’s easier to try and be like someone else. That’s what makes it really fun to design other outfits for her; it feels like Raven’s finally allowed to dress how she wants instead of having to live up to someone else’s legacy. This is totally me playing favorites, but Raven’s really deep 😌 and I hope that more people come to appreciate her for that. (Why not check out this post for more about her? Read the Tale of the Cursed Raven—)

I have the most enjoyment writing Raven interacting with other characters. She takes herself so seriously and tries to act like a refined lady, so it’s amusing when that plays off the callousness of her peers and it forces the childishness she often hides to come out. Jade is particularly interesting to write with Raven, because almost every conversation between them turns into a battle of wits and seeing who can outsmart the other and get them to break and lower their guard Kaguya-sama: Love is War style. I’d like to think that they’re both getting free entertainment from it 😂 With other characters, it’s fun to draw contrasts (Kalim’s/Rook’s/Cater’s cheer vs Raven’s reservedness, Crowley’s immaturity vs Raven’s sense of responsibility, L*ona’s laziness vs Raven’s hard-working nature, etc.), as well as parallels (she and Silver are both adopted, she and Ortho are both students enrolled under “extraordinary” circumstances, etc.). I’m weirdly proud that I cam write Raven with the other students and interacting with them all so differently, because it makes me think she’s as “real” and as fleshed out as the main cast are; it makes me feel like a mom watching her kid make new friends on the playground with the other children 😌

I know that people usually like to see Raven engage with the Usual Suspects (J word, Rook, L*ona), but I would like more opportunities to have her engage with others in the student body as well. Interacting only with “potential love interests” makes a character seem flat and like they were invented solely to be shipped with someone else, so I want to expand on Raven’s platonic relationships and friendships. I don’t want her to be defined by who she loves, but by who she is as an individual. After all, finding “herself” (aka having faith in herself and in her identity) is a big theme of the Tale of a Cursed Raven, and the “self” isn’t defined only by who someone loves, right?

Sometimes I feel guilty about writing Raven and posting it publicly, because she’s a personal character and not a canon one (the latter being what most people come to my blog for). With time, I think I’ve slowly become more comfortable doing it 😌 because seeing my friends and my mutuals share their own OC creations gives me more confidence. I hope I can share more of Raven with the world.

#twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #Raven Crowley #notes from the writing raven #ask game #character opinion bingo

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archangelmag · 1 year

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The message archangel: Why Virgin Suicides still resonating?

Why Virgin Suicides still resonating?

If you're have been around enough on internet or you're a pop-culture enthusiast; the novel Virgin Suicides will not be unknown for you.

The Jeffrey Eugenide’s novel is astute, sensitive, romantic and also a real portrait of teenage suicide. The first publication was in April 1st, 1993. The modern classic, narrates the story of the five Lisbon sisters, living the suburban life in Michigan during the 1970's. Their life was surrounded by the fundamentalist religious beliefs of their mother, that increasingly keeps the girls in isolation. The results, as the title of the book suggests is the suicide of the five girls. The story is all narrated by a couple of boys – also neighbors of the girls – who remain fascinated with the tragedy throughout the decades, maintaining the attempt to figure out what lead them to end their life at a young age.

In 1999, the novel is immortalized in a ethereal film directed by Sofia Coppola, soundtracked by Air.

A "not-so-fun" fact is that in 2000, Paramount gave a limited release to the movie, due the fear of encourage "teen suicide".

It's interesting how the popularity of this novel never decreased. Back in 2013/2014 tumblr, the quotes and the aesthetic was getting the teen-alt girls in their core, since many elements, fashion or moody, were in sync with Lana del Rey's music as much with Air music, which is really close to the "coquette" subculture we got nowadays. More recently, in 2021, Marc Jacobs released a collection dedicated to Virgin Suicides under Heavn. On tiktok, videos tagging Lux Lisbon have over 800 million views. And not staying under the ethereal aesthetic taken from the movie, the book still selling great: the title sold over £ 345,000 in 2022, also, still gaining more traction and attention due booktok niche on Tik Tok.

Here, we're taken to the main reasons to why this novel still resonates to young girls over the last thirty years: the pains of girlhood factor. One of the opening quotes that meet generations of girls and thrills minds is when Cecilia, after be dismissed by a doctor saying that she's is not old enough to have serious mental issues, prompt says: “Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.”

Personally, I first watch this movie when I was 12 years old. I was struggling with body dysmorphia, that led me into a depression that I've been fighting viscerally for years. Also, I grew up in a christian-evangelical family. My parents are preachers and when you're the oldest daughter, the community tend to lock you in a world that ain't built for you to feel good, instead, is built to explore you to the core. Many, many times I found myself alone in my parents house, just like the Lisbon girls, full of the desire of just be and just live but rules that we never signed were put on our realities, causing us pain and much other damages.

However, it's different when you read the novel or watch the film at age 12, and when you re-watch at 18 or in your 20's.

Girlhood is complex. And Jeffrey Eugenides recognized it. In his writing, he could acknowledge how complex, dark, and sorrowful a young woman’s inner mental life could be. It didn’t glorify it, it didn’t brush it off — it just captured it, it respected it, and gave it the room to exist how it really is.

Many adults see the pains of girlhood as an "failed attempt in seek for attention". So, many people make fun of it, put nonsensical rules, tend to shame and ridicule girls. The identification with the narrative only shows that we all should see more girlhood as a topic, with it’s ugliness and beauty. Virgin Suicides speaks with women in a language that understand without hiding from the horror of suicide, capturing the mundanes of depression without core-romanticize the mental issue or glorify it.

In other words, we could say that the novel got the "right" vision of teen suicide. Also, both movie and book are getting a revival since the sadness among teen girls are increasing. A study published by the CDC in February reported record levels of sadness in teen girls, with 30 per cent saying they have seriously considered dying by suicide, a 60 per cent rise since 2013. In the UK, reports show that self-harm admissions to hospital among teenage girls more than tripled between 2010 and 2020. (2023, DAZED)

The Osvaldo Cruz Foundation – FIOCRUZ – in Brazil did a research the survey "Self-Provoked Violence in Childhood and Adolescence" identified 15,702 notifications of attendance to suicidal behavior among teenagers in health services, predominantly the age group 15-19 years (76.4%), female (71.6%), and race/color of white skin (58.3%), in the period from 2011 to 2014. The study reveals that residence was the most frequent location of these occurrences (88.5% of 10-14 year olds; 89.9% of 15-19 year olds), and the most commonly used means was poisoning/intoxication (76.6% and 78%, respectively at ages 10-14 and 15-19). As for hospitalizations resulting from attempts in teenagers, there were 12,060 records between 2007-2016, with a predominance of females (58.1%) and a higher occurrence in the Southeast Region (2.7 and 7.0 notifications/100,000 inhabitants, in the 10-14 and 15-19 age groups, respectively). (2021, FIOCRUZ)

There are myriad reasons for this uptick – such as social media’s influence and the COVID-19 pandemic – factors that wouldn’t have impacted teenage girls in the 90s, when the book was first released.

The book endurance is still important to acknowledge that these issues aren't new and tend to increase. “The continued popularity of The Virgin Suicides really speaks to social anxieties that circulated around girlhood, from concerns about girls and mental health, body image, bullying, sexualisation, or more broadly, fears about girls ‘growing up too soon’,” she says. “That was the context that surrounded the 1990s release of The Virgin Suicides, and these are a set of debates and comments we still see today.” (Dr. R. Kennedy for Dazed UK)

In addition, the book brings the western vision expected over girls: they suppose to be good, pure, innocent daughters and friends but sexually knowing and sexually desirable for boys and young men. Contradictions that surrounded girlhood by decades, even centuries. Now, more intense due the hypervisibity over girls on social media platforms.

While girlhood has changed in myriad significant ways since 1993, it’s clear the story speaks to the immutable quality of teenage pain and the anxieties of growing we have almost always projected onto young girls. The period between 13 and 16, 17 can be really painful for young girls, in both physical and mental ways and that’s the reason why the book and the film remained popular, because we all can see ourselves in many aspects of our own experiences in each Lisbon sister through the book.

It’s cheering to think that this novel it still strikes a chord among young women and girls from diferent generations, after 30 years on from it's release, keeping it as subject matter.

#themessagearchangel #virgin suicides

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