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mrs-kodzuken · 3 months

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Teen Pregnancy ♡

Pairing: Kōtarō Bokuto x fem!reader

WC: 1.8k

Genre: angst to fluff

CW: fem!reader, pregnant!reader, teen pregnancy (please don’t get pregnant at a young age if you can try!), angst to fluff, reader thinks it’s sickness, injured!bokuto, obviously implied sex since reader is pregnant

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

I wiped my mouth with the back of my shaky hand as I just got finished puking into the toilet. This happened for the third time this week, but I hadn't gone to the doctor because of Bokuto.

He had, unfortunately, sprained his ankle while trying out a new skill during volleyball practice. The doctor said that he wasn't supposed to play for a week and to lay off it for it to heal.

As usual, that really made Kōtarō go into emo mode. Akaashi had managed to pull him out, but his bad mood hadn't gone away all week.

Me being his girlfriend, I took up the duty to help him around, even if I wasn't feeling well myself; I care about his well-being more than mine anyway.

After I brushed my teeth, I noticed a pale-ish look to my skin tone. Maybe I should make an appointment with the doctor's, I thought after grabbing my school bag.

Dark gray clouds swirled in the sky as the cold air nipped at my skin, releasing a shiver from my body.

It was probably going to rain, or worse, snow.

Being in the month of December, that was quite likely to happen. I arrived at the front gates of school, and

Akaashi had taken it upon himself to help get Kō here in the mornings.

I quickly hurried to his classroom, which was class one. I saw him pouting in his chair with his crutch leaning on the side of his desk and his hair slightly down. I sighed and moved near him.

"Good morning baby, how're you feeling?" I asked, trying to shift my problems out of my head and focusing on his.

"I want to play volleyball." His pout is not going away. Kōtarō always had an endless hunger for the victory of volleyball. I mean, that is why he is one of the top five best athletes in Japan.

And a small sprang could really do some damage to the poor boy.

"I know you do, but just bear with us for the next couple of days, and then you'll be back to smashing those balls on the court." I tried cheering him up a bit before I had to leave.

I heard the warning bell signaling that class would be starting soon, so I leaned down to give Kō a peck on the forehead before I left.

"I'll see you later, Kōtarō."

But when I started walking, I felt my bladder almost exploded. I had used the bathroom when I first got up this morning before my puking session, so I wasn't sure how I already needed to pee.

I hurried to the nearest ladies bathroom and relieved myself. While I was washing my hands, the bell rang for class to start.

What made it even worse was that my class room was upstairs since I was in class 5. My shoulders slumped as I walked even slower up the stairs.

It was only morning, but traveling up a staircase had worn me out.

I entered my class with the rest of my classmates staring at me, and my best friend's eyebrow quirked up as if to question why I'm late.

"You finally come to class, miss." My teacher said irritatingly as I took my seat, which was in back, after I mumbled a small apology.

Soon, the teacher droned on about something that I wasn't too bothered by. I sat my head down on the desk and decided to take a little nap to pass the time.

I felt someone shake me a little bit as I pushed their hand away.

"Do you want to eat lunch or not?" was the voice belonging to my best friend as she awaited my answer, which was a bunch of words mumbled together.

"By the way, why were you late this morning? You're never late, like, ever." She questioned me as she sat in front of me with her bento box, deciding she was going to eat here with me in the class.

"I had used the bathroom after meeting with Kō and ended up late. I just don't feel good." I said, looking up at her, then at her food.

Suddenly, a thought struck at me, "And I forgot my lunch." I groaned and sat my head back down.

"I'm so sorry (Y/n). I really don't want to make everything worse, but our teacher assigned us a project that's worth ten percent of our grade, and it's due Friday."

Today was Wednesday, and I felt like crying at the thought of doing a school project. "Great, just great. great, great, great." I hit my head on my hands with every word I spoke.

"You don't sound great."

"I'm not great, (B/f/n)." I put my head in my hands and sucked it up, trying to focus on anything else besides the hunger in my stomach and the nausea that came with it.

"I'll be fine; lunch is almost over anyway. Do me a favor and wake me when the bell rings for dismissal." She nodded and packed her bento box away as people started to fill the classroom.

I also forgot my hoodie, so I laid there on my cold desk, shivering just a bit.

As promised, (B/f/n) woke me when class was finished. I headed outside towards the gym, knowing Kō would want to stay and watch his teammates play, even if he couldn't.

The sky had actually become really dark as little flurries of snow fell down. This was bad weather, especially with Bokuto being in a crutch.

I sluggishly walked into the gym, knowing that it would take a lot of convincing for me to get home.

As usual, he was sitting on the bench watching his teammates play with a grumpy facial expression.

I sighed and sat down beside him, wanting nothing more than to be embraced by his arms.

I laid my head on his shoulder and carefully watched out the window as the snow continued to fall.

Only two hours had passed, and it was pitch black outside, not to mention it was freezing too.

I had been trying to convince Bokuto to go home due to his injured leg. I knew I had been pestering him, but in the end he would give in and let me help him walk home.

What I didn't expect was for my plan to backfire on me.

"Goddamn it, do you have to be so fucking annoying all the time?" He snapped his head towards me as I froze; I could tell everyone else in the gym did too.

My heart was stuck in my throat as I gave him a weak apology; I didn't bother grabbing my bag. Held my head down low as I hurried out of the gym as the temperature dropped, making my skin freeze.

I couldn't see due to it being pitch black, but I still kept on, my legs never stopping. The only thing warm were my salty tears, which never seemed to stop rushing down my face.

I wasn't sure where I was, so I tried to slow down my pace as I slipped on ice, and my head rammed into a wall. The pain almost immediately giving me raging headache as I pressed a hand onto it.

I slowly slid down the ice-cold brick wall, not having the energy to move anymore.

My day was so fucking shitty.

Slowly, my arms wrapped around my limp body to suffice as something to cover me from the snow that still continued to fall from the sky.

Before I knew it, my eyes closed due to the pain in my head and my arms were wrapped not only around my body but my stomach.

"Kō." was the last thing my voice could manage out before I slipped into unconsciousness on the ground.

Muffled voices in a room awoke me with the annoying sound of beating. I felt warmth surrounding me and bandages on my face as I opened my eyes.

I squinted at the bright lights that were on the ceiling. I slowly sat up and looked at everyone in the room around me.

It was a hospital room and the annoying sound was my heart.

My parents, Bokuto's mom, Bokuto, and Akaashi, were in the room with me. I looked down at my lap, not liking how all the attention was on me at once.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Bokuto open his mouth as if he were to say something but shut it when the doctor came into the room.

"Hi, mom, dad. If you don't mind, I'm just going to check up on your daughter," she said as she rounded my bed.

"Hello sweetie, how do you feel?" She gathered a flashlight and a clipboard, ready to write.

"My head hurts." The voice that came out was all scratchy and low. It seemed to make my mom lean more into my dad, as if to hide her tears. The doctor handed me a cup of water.

"Well, you did hit it pretty hard. Are you warm enough? I can add another heated blanket if you want; make yourself comfortable. We still need to check if the baby is okay." She reached for another blanket as I froze.

"Excuse me?" My voice came out slightly panicked.

What baby?

"Don't worry, we already told your parents, so you don't need to worry about that." She concluded with a comforting smile.

"No, no. What do you mean? I'm not pregnant." I said, I was confused; I'm pretty sure I wasn't pregnant. Or at least, I think.

My eyes immediately reached Bokuto's sorrowful ones.

"Oh my god." I covered my mouth with my left hand as my right one went to my stomach. I couldn't believe what was happening right now.

"Oh. Mom, dad, and other mom, how about we give these two a few minutes to talk?" She politely said, giving Kō and I some time to discuss this.

Silence fell over the now empty room; Bokuto was the first one to speak up.

"(Y/n), I'm sorry for acting like that. I just wanted to play volleyball so bad, but that doesn't excuse my actions. When the guys found you and you were shivering uncontrollably and bleeding, I didn't know what to do.

“On top of that, you were out there with.. our baby in you." After he had finished, tears fell from his somber, golden eyes.

I reached a hand to his face and wiped a tear away while he leaned into my hand.

"Kō, I forgive you. But a baby? We're still in school, and you have your volleyball career that you plan on pursuing, and I still don't know what I want to be." I nervously stated, my eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. We'll work through it together, okay? We'll be the greatest parents ever." He gave me the smile that I missed the most.

And that reassurance was all I needed to process that we could handle this together.

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a/n: this is from my book “Haikyuu x Reader One Shots” on Wattpad! I hope you enjoyed and let me know if you have any requests!

the header is made by me, please like/reblog if used <3

#bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #haikyuu bokuto #hq bokuto #bokuto fluff #bokuto angst #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto koutaro x y/n #bokuto kotaro #haikyuu pregnancy #bokuto x pregnant reader #hq fluff

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kodaiki · 2 years

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[6:31 P.M.]

“just one kiss.”

“one kiss-! bokuto, you’re crazy,” you hiss, hoping no one’s noticing your private conversation amidst the family barbecue. just to check, you peer over the taller man’s slightly hunched shoulders, catching eye contact with one of his aunties and grinning her way when she waves. only does the brightness in your eyes dull when you meet bokuto’s panicked ones.

“my sisters, the cousins-” he pauses to fling his arm in the direction of where his younger family members are, lounging in lawn chairs as they discuss school and their early jobs. “they don’t believe we’re dating!”

“and that’s my problem?” you frown, anxiety creeping into your belly at the mere thought of having an audience for a kiss that won’t even be real!

“our problem, y/n,” bokuto whines, visibly straining as he attempts to chip at your stubborn wall. “the favor was that you be my date to the family barbecue, pretending to be my girlfriend. well, we’ve got family who don’t believe it!”

“you didn’t mention i’d have to kiss you!“ you retaliate, peeking over at his cousins who’re staring rather skeptically, maybe even amused, at the two of you. it’d be a lie if you said they were totally buying your relationship.

to be fair, the way you both announced it was a little suspicious. just a few weeks earlier one of bokuto’s aunts offered to set him up with one of her employees his age to which he, in a panic, begged you to attend his family gathering to decline that. he hoped that in showing you off as his, they’d finally get off his back about having a significant other.

and it worked! … for some members of his family.

his older relatives only had to see your smiling face and holding hands to receive the memo and approve of his relationship.

his sisters and cousins? they’re not too easily swayed.

“isn’t it a bit convenient you announce your relationship just a week after auntie wanted to set you up with someone?” a cousin asked, amused grin adorning his face.

“yeah!” his older sister had chimed. “how dare you keep you and y/n’s status for so long!”

meanwhile, his other sister grumbled to herself in agreement, claiming that all this time while she thought you were just friends, you were supposed lovers?

“why is it such a big deal?” bokuto asks, genuinely curious, tilting his head slightly as his eyes widen in wonder.

the fact that he has to ask that, alluding he doesn’t think it such a big deal, makes you more embarrassed.

“because it is!” you huff, keeping your face straight so the rest of his family don’t sense your wary expression. “you don’t just kiss anyone!”

“you’ve kissed akaashi’s cheek when he was being asked out by that girl he wasn’t into! how’s that different?”

“it just is!”

how else are you supposed to say that kissing akaashi is different than kissing bokuto because you don’t have feelings for akaashi?

“please enlighten me.”

bokuto’s stubborn face is on now, furrowed brows and eyes lidded downward as his lips twist into a heavy pout. he’s concentrated, watching you closely and you know getting out of this will be difficult. he crosses his arms, awaiting your answer.

“well?”

“it’s different,” you murmur, looking down at the green grass below you. the night air, humid from the time of year, blows against you, giving you a sense of coolness amidst your warm cheeks and beating heart.

bokuto senses the change in your demeanor, suddenly realizing that whatever’s in your head much be more serious than he’d originally thought. so, he gently takes your wrist and before you know it, you’re being guided back into his parents’ home.

“kotaro?” his mother asks, grabbing at his arm before he passes the older members of the family sitting in a circle whose interests are all suddenly piqued by him as well. “everything okay?”

bokuto gives his mother an easy grin. “yep! y/n’s just thirsty so i’m grabbing her some water from inside.”

accepting his response, she lets go and returns back into the conversation with the elders. bokuto continues to pull you inside until your in the cool, air conditioned room of the kitchen.

letting go of your wrist, he leans against one of the counters facing you. “i didn’t mean to push you into anything but you can always talk to me.”

you know you should’ve internally debated accepting his request for a favor more than how you quickly accepted. then again, how can you deny bokuto when he gives you those widened, puppy-dog eyes and watery pout all while clasping his hands in a pleading manner?

really, it was just unfair.

you didn’t actually think you’d have to do much at this function, though. maybe holding hands with him and allow his to hold you class as he gushed about some made up story about how you started dating; something like “we’ve been friends for years now but it was recently that I saw her in a different light so I just decided to tell her!” oh, how simple him confessing must be. too bad that’s all fake. still, you never expected him to actually ask you to kiss, nonetheless in front of his whole family.

it takes away from the experience. first, you have to kiss someone in a not serious way and now added to the fact that it’s for the show for someone else to see?

maybe it’s the root cause that you have feelings for the man that’s getting you so frustrated about it. that surely had to be it. but how on earth were you supposed to explain that to him without it explicitly telling him you like him?

“no, no, i’m sorry for over exaggerating,” you mumble. “it’s just different because we’re close friends.” bokuto opens his mouth, mostly likely to claim that akaashi’s also a close friend of yours but you don’t allow that. “and you’re different than akaashi.”

“i am?” he asks blankly, furrowing his brows deeper. you can’t tell if he feels utterly lost or maybe even offended in case he’s thinking he’s not on the same level as your other friend. maybe it’s a bit of both.

“yeah, it’s … ugh, do i have to explain it?” a sigh from you. “i shouldn’t have agreed to this.”

“oh,” bokuto lets out, visibly slouching. so you regretted being his fake date that much? he thinks he gets it now. “i’ll just say you weren’t feeling well and you had to go. you really don’t have to stay if it’s making you that uncomfortable.”

“no!” you quickly blurt, waving your hands in front of you. “that’s not what i meant!”

“seriously y/n, it’s okay. i overstepped by asking and you’re just being nice because we’re friends. i’m sorry-”

“i don’t wanna kiss you because it won’t be real!” you cut off his rambles from further making himself feel bad.

bokuto seems to not have gotten it completely by the way he looks at you skeptically. “huh?”

you sigh, face flushing deeper. “i don’t want to kiss you because it’ll mean more to me than it does to you,” you admit in a quiet voice. “the reason for the kiss would just be to win over your sisters and cousins but to me, it’d be more. so i can’t kiss you.”

“it’d be more?” he repeats softly, eyebrows lifting in slight surprise. his expression softens when you look down, avoiding eye contact with him.

to be honest, you don’t remember when you developed feelings for your friend. whether it was in the beginning of your friendship, having always thought he was an attractive man or being a stellar volleyball player, or if it developed over time, growing used to his platonic affection and kind words to you, at this point in time, you’re completely smitten.

and you’ve hidden it to the best of your ability in fear of losing him as a friend. from what you could tell, bokuto was friendly with everyone so he didn’t give you much of a reason o believe your feelings were reciprocated.

“yeah,” you trail off, shuffling your feet on the tiled floors in attempt to keep your attention busy. “sorry to just spring that on you, didn’t mean to.”

“no,” he says quietly, denying your apology, assuring you. “don’t apologize. it’s just, um, not what i expected.”

ah, the conversation you’ve feared. the awkwardness leading to the inevitable rejection from someone you considered a close friend. there goes that friendship. the pit in your stomach grows as your heartbeat continues to erratically beat in your chest.

you need to get out of this situation.

“yep, so i’ll be going now. tell your family i said bye and the food was delicious-”

you’re cut off when bokuto’s hand grabs your wrist again, this time more firmly, in fear you’d slip out of his grasp to leave his house in a hurry, which to be fair, was something you were planning on doing.

“wait.”

you swallow the lump in your throat, eying his hand on your arm. slowly, you look up at his face, sucking in your lips as you brace for the impact of his future words.

“what if i want to kiss you, though?”

“what?” you ask, shaking your head from his question, not expecting it.

“you said that it’d mean more to you because my reason is to get my family to believe, right?” at your nod for confirmation, a glum one at that, he continues, “but what if i also wanna kiss you just ‘cause? what if it means more to me, too?”

“bokuto…” you trail off, doubting his words. he really didn’t have to try and make you feel better with words.

“i’m serious!” he claims. “everything else would be a bonus. i’d kiss ‘ya without anyone watching if i could.”

your face burns even hotter at the insinuation of his words. so he’s not just trying to make you feel better?

“and well, now that I know the feeling’s mutual, can i?”

“huh?” you squeak when he takes a step closer to you, close enough you can feel his breath fanning your face.

“can i kiss you? for real?” he asks again, dipping his head down, believing — no, knowing — you’d say yes. and when you nod, ever so subtly, he molds his lips against yours.

it’s a soft kiss at first, a simple test of the waters, but when his hands go up to your cheeks and holds you face in place and your hands move up to clutch his waist, the time for timidness is over. bokuto kisses you with fervor, like a starved man, smiling against your lips when you squeak and sigh into his mouth, breaths of relief as if thinking finally, this is happening.

the way he kisses you has you dipping downward, clutching onto him so you don’t feeling backward, not that you would; he’d catch you before that could happen. you’re fully consumed by bokuto and though you’re head is spinning from the lack of air, you can’t will yourself to pull away. not when you’ve been waiting, yearning for this moment for god knows how long.

“kotaro, your mom said you were in- oh.” a voice calls into the kitchen, stunning the both of you in place, only making your face spring apart in surprise.

you spin around to face bokuto’s eldest cousin frozen in place at the entrance of the kitchen, blinking at the both of you. a moment passes with the three of you looking between each other and then his cousin relaxes.

“i’m just here for some plates,” he says coolly, swiping the plates conveniently set on the counter to his chest. “i’ll, uhm, leave you two to it.” the cousin then scurries out of the kitchen and it isn’t until your heard the back door swing open and close that you face bokuto who’s grinning down at you.

“what’d i say? it’s a bonus.” he wiggles his brows, insinuating that his eldest cousin was probably off affirming your relationship to the rest of the family, no need for some extravagant public display of affection.

you swat at his arm, only for his to take ahold of your hands and interlace your fingers. “what’re you-” you furrow your brows, to be cut off by his lips once more.

“making up for lost time.” bokuto smiles against your lips, sealing the space between them once more.

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theycallmebun · 10 months

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protect yourself

bokuto kotaro x gn!reader

w/c: 334

genre: angst again lmao

warnings: break uppp. also when i say the word hurt, i mean emotionally.

summary: bokuto just wants another chance.

he had come back for a second chance. you know, he thought if he got on his knees this time, then just maybe you’d let him back in.

“y/n, please, i can be better. i’ll do anything for you to just be with you again. please. i can change. what do you want me to do? just tell me what to do,” bokuto begged and pleaded.

you really weren’t prepared to deal with this. after breaking it off, you expected never to see him again. it’s not like you would ever want to anyway. but here you are now, in your front yard with your ex begging you to give him another chance.

“kotaro, please, i don’t want to do this,” you say with your fingers rubbing at your temples, hoping to ease away the headache.

“i really really want to make this work, y/n. you’re it for me. i love you. please give us a second chance.”

bokuto’s words cut deep.

“it’s too late to try and make this work. i was the one putting in the effort and the time to make this work when we were together and you did nothing! telling me you’re going to put in the work now means nothing,” you yell at him. and somewhere in there, you start crying too.

you keep going, though.

“and don’t you know that i love you so much? i love you so much it hurts. but you hurt me more. so i’m not getting back together with you. sure, maybe after a decent amount of time where i know we’ve both been capable of real change. none of this superficial shit you’re promising me right now, that’s just not realistic.”

“no no no, y/n, please. i need you,” he pleads one last time. “don’t build those walls up again.”

“i’m protecting myself, ko. now please, just go home.”

he sighs and cries in defeat, but doesn’t utter another word. and ready to respect your wishes, he leaves.

a/n: i had a hurt to comfort idea but i forgot it so more angst!!!!

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu angst #bokuto kotaro #bokuto x reader #bokuto imagine #bokuto angst #bokuto x gender neutral reader #gn!reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios

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shiraishi-mai · 2 years

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A Star

You had a personal problem with Bokuto Koutarou.

Let’s see…where did it begin?

Probably when he crashed into you in 2nd grade and made you drop your ice cream. The school gave them out during lunch on Fridays and you had been looking forward to your double chocolate ice cream cup all week. You had walked outside to join your friends when you were suddenly harshly pushed forward.

“Oh sorry!” A boy brightly said, briefly glancing at you. He was laughing at another boy that was chasing after him and they took off towards the field.

You were too stunned to move. If you had known how to swear, you probably would have uttered a “what the FUCK?”

“I thought you had gone to get ice cream?” your friend questioned as you made your way to the table. “What’s wrong??”

Tears streaked down your face and you just held out your now empty ice cream cup at her.

“Some stupid boy ran into me,” you said sniffling and your small hand was clenched in anger, “And didn’t even care to stop! That’s so rude!”

She handed you a tissue. “Was he in our grade?”

“I don’t know,” you said, blowing your nose. “He has grey hair, yellow eyes, and is kinda tall?”

“Oh,” your friend giggled. “That’s probably Bokuto. He’s the boy in the class beside us - the one who kinda looks like an owl.”

You thought for a second. All you remembered about the class next door is that they sounded rowdy.

“Stupid owl,” you muttered and left to throw the cup away.

*****************************

After that, it seemed like the universe was purposefully trying to make your life more difficult by using a certain owl boy as it means. Every time you forgot about Bokuto’s existence in your life, he would pop up again.

As in, he literally popped up once.

In 3rd grade, you had been walking down the garden path beside the school building when all of a sudden you heard a loud “BOO” and a head shot up from behind a hedge.

Naturally, you let out a shriek and promptly fell on your butt.

“Oh shoot,” the grey-haired boy said, bounding towards you. “I thought you were Teru.”

You grimaced. Of course it was Bokuto.

In 4th grade, you, against your good judgement, lent him your pack of markers while everyone made posters during class. He handed them back only for you to find the majority of them dried out.

In 5th grade, for some reason the school thought it would be a good idea for them to make co-ed classes. Naturally, Bokuto was not only in your class, but assigned your partner for a project. When he showed up with half the essay ripped into pieces, you sat speechless as he said, “My dog ate my homework.” You couldn’t even yell at him for lying. Knowing him, a dog really did eat his homework.

But, by some small miracle, you had gone to separate middle schools. You continued happily throughout your school days, forgetting all about the chaotic boy. Studying, making friends, going to club activities - life was good. Before you knew it, you were graduating and heading to high school.

You strolled down the halls proudly in your new, crisp uniform. It had been a couple days since you started Fukurodani and you were enjoying it. The school had a great academic program so you were ready to get into your studies and you liked the general vibe of the place when you visited their open house.

You were supposed to meet your friend outside her classroom before school started and you were looking upward, checking the classroom numbers as you walked and sipped your juice (aka your breakfast).

Ah, found it. You began to walk towards the classroom when you found yourself suddenly harshly pushed forward.

“What the FUCK?” Your juice had tipped and the orange liquid ran down the front of your shirt. You spun around to give the person a piece of your mind, but the only words that you managed to get out were, “Are you kidding me?”

Grey hair, yellow eyes, and a VERY tall figure.

“Oh shoot, I’m so sorry!,” Bokuto’s eyes were wide. “Er hold on, let me get some tissues or something, I can - .”

You held up a hand, internally grimacing, but forcing a smile on your lips. “No worries! I have a handkerchief in my bag so I can use that.”

He frowned. “But your shirt….you should take my blazer to cover it at least.”

“It’s fine, really Bokuto-san,” you waved him off again. “I have gym clothes I can change into.”

Your forced smile grew wider and you continued to the classroom.

Your friend had come out to see what all the commotion was about and was greeted with the sight of you, empty juice bottle in hand and orange stains on your shirt. Her eyes widened in concern and then noticed the boy standing behind you. She looked again at your dishevelled figure and then back at him. You strolled straight past her and muttered a dark, “Don’t you dare say anything.”

Your friend from elementary school burst out into laughter.

And honestly? You wished you could have said that was the end of Bokuto’s presence in your life.

Instead, he seemed adamant to establish himself there.

“HI y/n!”

“Man, that exam was super hard wasn’t it?”

“Hey did you know I play volleyball? Do you like volleyball??”

“Hey we won our match yesterday! Naturally I scored the most.”

“Hey do you think I can borrow your notes sometime? You seem super organised.”

Hey. Hey. HEY.

“Help me,” you whimpered, clutching at your friend’s shirt collar. “I can’t escape.”

“Maybe he likes you,” she giggled and you shuddered in response. “This is definitely harassment. But like friendly harassment so I can’t even say anything without looking like an asshole. Maybe he’s secretly manipulative and this is all just a set-up for me to lose my shit and make me look crazy to the entire grade.”

“Hi y/n!” You didn’t even jump in surprise anymore at the voice that suddenly appeared beside you.

“Hi Bokuto,” you said weakly.

Your friend nudged you. “No Bokuto-san?” She whispered gleefully.

“I lost that battle,” you whispered defeatedly.

“Wow y/n you’re always carrying books in your arms.”

“Well they don’t all fit in my bag.”

“Ohh gotcha.” His eyes suddenly grew wide. “Wait, are we supposed to have that many books???”

“No Bokuto-sa- I mean Bokuto. I’m just doing some outside studying.”

The boy relaxed and grinned happily in relief, giving you slight whiplash from the mood swing.

“Well you were always super smart so that makes sense.”

You looked at him with a confused expression and he continued.

“I mean, you always got the top grades at our elementary school.”

So he does remember me. Is that why he’s harassing me? Is this revenge for something I did back then? You desperately wracked your brain for something you might have done.

“You remember me?”

“Of course,” he smiled. “You’re the pretty girl who was always in the library after school.”

You weren’t expecting to hear that.

“Do you remember me?” He pointed excitedly at himself.

“Er yeah, we worked on a project together I think.”

Bokuto made a face. “Oh yeah when my dog ate my homework,” he said with a serious expression.

You couldn’t keep a straight face and started laughing. This boy was absolutely ridiculous.

“Why are you laughing??? I worked really hard on that,” he pouted. “I put down my bagel on the papers for like 2 seconds! How was I supposed to know the dog was going to try and eat both.”

Why. Just why.

You kept shaking in laughter and he suddenly looked at you with a triumphant expression on his face.

“What?” you said, fingers coming up to wipe at the moisture forming at the corners of your eyes.

“I’ve never heard you laugh before.” His eyes were bright. “It sounds nice.”

Okay, so maybe Bokuto wasn’t that bad.

You started to wave back at him when he greeted you from afar and stopped to have actual conversations with him. A couple of times, you visited practice to see what all the hype was about and was stunned when you saw him play. You helped toss balls for him to spike one night after giving in to his begging and while you were impressed, you nearly died trying to keep up with how long he practised for. You ended up dragging him out - or well attempted to. He stood there, smirking, while you pushed him with all your strength and didn’t move him a single inch.

You learned he was moody (which you could see coming) but were surprised to find out that he could pick himself back up just as quickly as he was down. The world shined brightly through Bokuto’s eyes. He was honest, saw the best in everybody and genuinely supported his friends.

You started eating lunch together and one day your friend had plopped down beside you, stealing a pretzel from your bag.

“Are you going to the festival next week?” She asked.

Your lips formed a pout. “I was going to go with both you and Miku but you guys just had to go and get boyfriends and double date.”

“You can still come! It’ll be fun!”

“Thanks, but I don’t want to 5th wheel,” you said drily.

“Well,” she smirked, “You could always ask that senpai to go with you.” Your face grew hot and you spluttered that there was no way you’d do that.

“C’mon,” she continued. “Takao-senpai would definitely say yes. You know he has a soft spot for you.”

“Is that the tall one with glasses,” Bokuto asked, his voice slightly muffled by the huge bite of bread he had just taken.

“Yep, the one that our y/n-chan has been spending so much time with lately,” your friend continued to tease. Your crush on your senpai was painfully obvious as you couldn’t help but talk to him with heart eyes whenever you saw him. He’d already helped tutor you outside of school a few times and you both stayed after you were done to just hang out…it wouldn’t hurt to ask right?

“I’ll think about it,” you reluctantly said, which earned a squeal in response.

“Bokuto-kun,” she turned to him. “Are you going too?”

He sipped his juice box aggressively before replying, “No, we have practice that night.”

“I’m sure you guys can get one night off?”

“No time to take days off,” he said, puffing his chest out. “We’re gonna win nationals!”

“I’m holding you to that,” you remarked and he grinned. “Come watch us so you can witness how awesome I look in a big stadium.” You rolled your eyes and were relieved the topic changed as the rest of lunch was spent with Bokuto detailing how exactly Fukurodani was going to crush the other teams.

But, sadly, your friend kept pushing you afterward to talk to your senpai about the festival and all of a sudden, you were standing in front of him.

“Senpai,” you pursed your lips and your eyes were shyly cast downward.

“Hi y/n! What did you need to talk to me about?”

It was cheesy, but you asked your hot senpai to meet you behind the school building after classes ended. Your hands were shaking so you clutched them together in front of you, trying to ignore the nausea you felt because of your nervousness.

“Are you going to the festival on Friday?”

“I am! The whole school seems to be talking about it. Seems like a lot of people are using it as a chance to score a date,” he said, giving you a wink. Your heart raced even faster. This was it. This was your chance!

“I noticed that too!” you flinched at your over-excited tone. Taking a deep breath to compose yourself, you continued. “So along those lines, I was wondering if you’d like to go together?”

His face was surprised for a moment, and then your heart dropped at the uncomfortable expression that morphed on his face.

“Oh,” he said, “I thought you’d be going with Bokuto-kun?”

“Huh?? Why would you think that?”

He tilted his head in confusion. “Aren’t you two dating?”

“Absolutely not!” He jumped at your loud voice. “We’re just friends!”

“Oh,” he repeated and shuffled awkwardly. “I didn’t know that so I asked a girl in my class to go instead. Er, you could ask Bokuto-kun to go now? I’m sure he would say yes.”

“He has practice that night,” you said flatly. You weren’t sure whether to be more mad or dejected at the moment.

“Hmm,” the boy tapped his lips. “You could always hang out with us?”

And crash your date? You felt humiliated. Did you look so pitiful that it seemed that you would be okay with following him and his date around? You felt irritation slowly rise in you.

“That’s okay Senpai,” you said with what was hopefully a reassuring smile. “I can go with my friends.”

He returned your smile and ruffled your hair. “Great! I’ll see you there then!”

You watched him walk away, heart pounding due to an entirely different emotion this time. You were furious. Once again, Bokuto was messing with your life.

Distantly, you knew that you were just reacting badly to the rejection. It wasn’t his fault there was a misunderstanding. But you still felt irrationally irritated so you blamed him and made your way to the front gates to go home and cool yourself down.

The universe, yet again, had other plans.

“Y/N!”

Please not now. I might start crying if you talk to me right now.

A heavy arm was slung over your shoulders as your ball of sunshine leaned against you.

Don’t lash out. It’s not his fault.

“Did your senpai say yes??”

You swallowed anxiously. He took your silence as affirmation.

“I told you!” He clapped you on your back. “He had no reason to say no to you!”

“...but he did.”

“Oh,” he stopped walking as you did.

“He thought I was going with you.”

There was a pause. “We can just tell him that it’s a misunderstanding,” he said in a hopeful tone.

“He’s going with someone else. He asked out some girl in his class and,” it was getting harder to keep your tears at bay. “And now they’re probably going to end up dating and I won’t be able to see him anymore!”

Bokuto slumped a little and bit his lip, trying to think of something to say. “Hey maybe we - “

“Ugh just stop! You’re so annoying! From the moment I first met you, you’ve caused trouble. You made me drop my ice cream, scared me, ruined our project, broke my markers, made me spill juice all over me, and harassed me for WEEKS.”

“And now,” you said, your tears finally falling down your face, “You ruined my chance to have a date for the festival.”

The yellow-eyed boy stood speechless in front of you. A rush of wind swept by and orange leaves fell from a nearby tree.

“I - I’m sorry y/n. I didn’t realise - “

“It’s whatever Bokuto,” you said, releasing a deep breath. “I should be used to it by now right?” You gave him an empty chuckle. “Sorry, I’m just in a really bad mood. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You turned and sped walked away, leaving a droopy-haired Bokuto still rooted to the spot.

******************************

A couple of days passed and you hadn’t talked to Bokuto since then. To be honest, you were avoiding him because you felt guilty rather than irritated. It was hard to forget the look on his face after you were done wringing him out.

And then one morning you walked into your classroom and saw something on your desk.

A pack of markers (specifically the kind you used in elementary school) was placed on top. When you picked it up, a small slip of paper was lying underneath. The corners of your lips upturned as you saw it was a coupon for an ice cream shop you liked. You flipped it around to see Bokuto’s scrawled handwriting on the back.

I know you’re mad but can you meet me by the gym during lunch?

When you did go to see him, he seemed more fidgety than normal and kept shifting from one foot to another.

“What do you want?” You winced as your voice came out harsher than you intended.

He flinched and for a second, the burly boy looked incredibly small.

“I wanted to say sorry. Again.” You opened your mouth but he cut you off. “And to ask if you wanted to go to the festival with me.”

“Come again?”

“I know I’m not your favourite person right now” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “But I want to make everything I’ve done up to you and I promise to make it fun!”

What kind of logic was this. He had some balls to ask someone who he thought was angry with him out.

You looked at him and that’s all it took for you to have an answer.

Pink dusted his cheeks, and he kept trying to make eye contact with you, but his eyes kept darting away as soon as they met yours. His eyebrows were furrowed and his expression sorrowful. He looked like a giant puppy that had just been scolded.

It was cute.

You sighed. “Okay, let’s go together.”

“Really??” He said instantly perking up. Your eyes widened a fraction as he suddenly straightened up from his slumped position and nearly started bouncing in excitement.

“I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour!” He said with a wide smile and gave you a thumbs up.

***************************

Before you knew it, you found yourself currently sitting down on a patch of grass, listening to the hum of conversations from the people on picnic blankets near you and the smell of food from the stalls behind you wafting through the air.

You savoured the taste of cold chocolate on your tongue, one hand clutching a plastic spoon and the other holding a green cup.

“Chocolate again?” Bokuto complained. “They have so many flavours. You should try something different!”

“I’m sorry my taste buds can handle only so much variety,” you said frowning. “And at least I don’t spend forever trying to decide what I want.”

Bokuto pouted and you poked his cheek. “Maybe I still have trauma from you knocking me over.”

He smiled sheepishly in response. “Remember when you used to hate me in first-year?”

“You mean when I hated you until first-year?”

He flinched and you laughed, running your hands through his grey hair. He looked comical lying his head in your lap when he was so big he barely fit on the blanket.

“I made it up to you didn’t I?” He whined and turned his head to look up at you. Your gaze flickered down to his and your lips pursed.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you back then. It wasn’t your fault I got rejected.”

“I told you to stop apologising about that. Honestly, I don’t really remember it very well.” You believed him - it wasn’t in his nature to let something like that bother him for too long. That didn’t mean you didn’t still feel bad about it though.

“Besides,” he made a face. “I may have not had the best timing that day.”

You snorted in response. He gazed at your amused face, eyes twinkling, hair swept to one side, and the pink sunset behind your head. His heart swelled and wished he could stop time, just to enjoy this for a moment longer.

“It’s our last festival,” you said as if you read his mind.

He pouted and said in a childish tone, “No. We’re definitely coming back.”

You giggled. “Okay, our last festival as high school students.” There was a brief silence and you bit your lip. “But it might take a while until we can come back.”

He took one of your hands in his own and held it against his cheek. “I don’t mind. Just promise you’ll come back to me?”

“If you’ll be here.”

“Of course,” he said instantly. “Two years is nothing. Well I mean it is a long time, but any time without you seems long.” He began rambling about how he was going to facetime you everyday while you were studying abroad and how you were going to spend the rest of university in Tokyo anyway, so you could make up for the lost time plenty when you came back.

You smiled fondly at the boy you’d fallen in love with over the past couple of years. Yes, he was still chaotic and often still irritated you sometimes with his antics, but you grew to be fond of them as well. You felt how warm his heart is, and how being loved by him felt as if you had one of the bright, shining stars in the night sky on your side.

You leaned down to brush your lips against his forehead, effectively stopping his monologue. He lifted his hand, pinky sticking out. “Promise in two years we’ll be right back here.”

You gave him a warm smile and hooked your pinky around his.

“Pinky promise.”

#thisiswhatiwroteinsteadofmyexamprep #help #neverthoughtidwriteforbo #oh well #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #bokuto kotaro #bokuto x reader #bokuto angst #bokuto fluff #hq bokuto #bokuto fic

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kairiscorner · 6 months

Text

ok so i have a nanami fic otw

and i wanna make this hurt ...

but i'm also thinking of writing the oikawa ver of the suga fic and some atsumu and bokuto hcs ... 🕷️

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scaranoiia · 2 years

Text

SMOKED.

pairing: bokuto koutarou x gn!reader

genre: light angst

word count: 1,678

cw/tw: reader has anxiety + talks about getting medicine, swearing, cigarette smoking, established relationship, concerned kou, petnames are used

"I'll help you get through this, okay?" — sometimes the outlet you think is helping you, ends up making everything worse.

You took a drag from your lit cigarette while leaning over the balcony of your shared apartment. You had left the doors cracked open to inside because Koutarou was up watching his shows, as usual, so you weren't worried about him finding you here smoking. Especially since it was getting close to one in the morning.

You took a couple more drags while admiring the nighttime, city view. It was beautiful, yet so hectic like something out of your nightmares. You brushed those anxious thoughts away with another puff of the toxins. You held the smoke in for a bit longer and finally released it once you felt your body start to calm down.

"Baby?" you hear Koutarou say from behind you, his voice was soft and confusion was laced in his tone, "what are you doing?"

Your body was frozen and you were sure he could tell. You let out a cough with your lips pursed and turn around while hiding the cigarette behind your back.

You raise your eyebrows at him and hum while looking into his eyes, "what's up, Kou? I thought you were watching your show?"

"I was, but you were taking a bit longer in the bathroom than usual so I wanted to make sure you were okay…" His eyes flicker to your hidden arms and then he looks back into your eyes, "why are you out here?"

He was avoiding the real question he wanted to ask. You could tell. You knew he saw the smoke, he had to have seen it. He had spoken right after you had released it from your lungs.

"I just wanted some fresh air. It gets a bit stuffy inside sometimes," you tell him. He nods and looks around the balcony, his eyes searching for more clues, and they finally land on a water bottle that's sitting on the small table. His eyebrows furrow and he points to it.

"Don't you usually drink out of the paper cups we have?" He questions.

"It's just a water bottle," you mumble before speaking up, "are you gonna ask me your real question or continue avoiding it?" You knew your half-gone cigarette had to have been complete ashes by now. It should've been put out in the water bottle already. He hesitates and then looks at your legs as you can feel some of the ashes fall off the cigarette.

"What's behind your back?" He asks. You sigh and look to the side before moving toward him to grab the water bottle. He grabs your shoulders as he must think you’re trying to flee inside.

"Can I grab the fucking water bottle, Koutarou?" You snap your head up to look at him while snatching the water bottle off the small table.

“Don't swear at me like that," he whispers, his tone hurting as he looks into your eyes. You flick the cap off the water bottle and watch as it lands on the small table before you bring your other hand out from behind your back and drop the cigarette into the water. His eyes widen like saucers as he snatches the water bottle out of your hands.

"A cigarette… You were smoking a cigarette?! Since when do you even-,"

You gulp as tears spring to your eyes. You never wanted him to find out like this. You didn't want him to find out at all honestly. You could see the growing confusion and frustration in his eyes as he continued spitting words at you.

"-What is wrong with you?"

And that's when you feel a tear slip.

"What is wrong with me?" You ask him, your voice cracking as more tears begin slipping past your waterline. His expression changes to one of panic as he's quickly setting the water bottle down and holding your upper arms.

"No, no baby, I didn't mean it like that, I promise," he says softly, his hands coming up to smooth his thumbs along your cheekbones.

"I'm sorry, I-," you choke out. He nods and brushes a few hairs out of your face.

"Why?" he asks gently.

"I didn't- he just- he told me it would make my anxiety go away," you cry.

"He? Who's he?" He questions.

"My friend," you whimper.

"The one you became friends with a month ago who also smokes?" He asks. You nod and nibble on your bottom lip. "And does it make your anxiety go away, baby?"

"Only for a little bit. If- if I don't smoke one in a while then it gets worse and I don't feel good," you tell him.

"Baby," he breathes out, "you know how bad these are for you, don't you? And that there's other ways to help your anxiety settle down. Baby, they make medicine for it."

"I don't have the money for medicine," you cry.

"I do, [Name], you know that I have the money for it. Why didn't you come to me and ask me?" He rubs your upper arms in his hands while watching as your lips tremble before you speak.

"I can't just- Kou, I can't take your money like that," you cry out.

"If it's for your mental health, yes, you can. I would never let you go without something you need, I don't care how much it costs me. And don't you think that you having the proper medicine to treat it is better than you having to get a lung transplant from those nasty things in the future?"

You gulp and nod while looking into his eyes, your own shaking with guilt because of how much you've upset him.

"Will you stop so that we can get you the right treatment for it? Because those things are not helping you, baby, they're only going to make you feel worse," he says softly. "Do you have more on you?" He asks. You sniffle and nod before looking away from his eyes. "Where are they?"

You reach into your hoodie pocket and pull out the almost empty carton with your lighter inside. He takes it out of your hands and opens it before letting out a deep breath.

"There's only three left in here, when did you smoke all the others?"

"This past week," you mumble.

"It's only been five days, baby. Did he give this to you new or were some already gone out of it?" He asks while closing the carton.

"New, he took the wrapper off of it for me and helped me," you say quietly.

"Helped you do what?" He asks.

"Helped me smoke the first one."

He nods and licks his lips before opening the carton back up to pull the lighter out and look at it. You watch as he reads over the black sharpie written on the white lighter and his jaw clenches before he looks back into your eyes.

"'Rest in peace: virgin lungs.' Does he think this is a joke?" He scoffs while tossing the lighter back into the carton and closing it with a heaving sigh. You just stand here and watch him, your anxiety rising as your fingers itch to light one of the last three. He drops the carton onto the small table and you flinch at the noise before he puts the cap back onto the water bottle.

"Are you mad at me?" Your voice cracks and shakes as you whisper it.

"No baby, I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated and upset, that's all," he says.

"With me?"

"No," he chuckles lightly, "just-," he sighs and looks back down at the table, "can you promise me something?"

You nod and look into his eyes.

"Will you promise to stop smoking, so that I can help you get the right medicine for your anxiety?" He asks.

You gulp and look away from his eyes before looking at the cigarette carton. "It's not that easy, Kou," you mumble while looking back up at him.

"Can you at least try?" He asks desperately.

"I try every single time I come home because the last thing I wanted was for you to be disappointed in me," tears cloud over your eyes again before you start crying and drop your head down. "I hate the idea of you ever not liking me for something I've done and that's why I hid this from you because I didn't want you to hate me," you sob. He steps closer to you and pulls you into his arms to hold you tightly.

"Baby, I could never hate you. Please don't say stuff like that, let alone, think it. I love you and I just want the best for you, I promise," he says while pressing kisses to the top of your head. You choke out a sniffle and nod before whimpering, "I love you too."

He hums and gives your body a tight squeeze before lifting your head so you can look at him. You notice his teary eyes and shake your head as you bite your lip.

"I'll help you get through this, okay? We'll get you to stop and I'll get you the right medicine that you need," he assures you. You nod and sniffle as you look away from his eyes.

"Can we go to bed now?" You ask. He nods and picks up the carton of cigarettes and the water bottle before opening the balcony door a bit more. You walk inside first and watch as he heads over to the trash and drops the water bottle inside. When he goes to drop the carton, you grab his wrist.

"What if I need one?" You ask him.

"You won't need one, your body will just make you think that you want one. They're going in the trash, baby," he says while dropping it in and then closing the lid. You stare at the lid of the trashcan and then he grabs your hand. "Let's go brush our teeth and then we can go to bed, alright?" He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and shuts off the lights before guiding you into the bathroom.

tumblr is based on a system of reblogs, not likes. please reblog my work.

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mizunetzu · 2 years

Note

PLS DO A PART TWO ON THE BOKUTO IN MY MIND FIC I'M BEGGING UUUUU DIWKXHWBCIEHDJDJD

sure HAHAHAHHA

——————

Bokuto x reader - In My Mind (pt. 2)

⚠️ Warnings - none !

Pronouns - male, he/him

you can find part one here!

——————

(Y/n) (L/n) was not fine.

(Y/n) (L/n) was stressing.

(Y/n) noticed something was up the moment Bokuto didn’t shriek his usual morning greeting from the doorway. What’s wrong? Was he sick? He walked in, shoulders hunched like he was trying to make himself smaller, and slid into his seat. For once, Bokuto Koutarou was trying to not gain any attention.

(Y/n) tried his best to hide his subtle stares. Bokuto was hunched over his desk, eyebrows slightly upturned and bottom lip between his teeth, like he was trying to hold back something. He didn’t look like his usual, cheery, bright self.

It sounded selfish, but (Y/n) had always looked to Bokuto’s light to brighten up his own dull self. He couldn’t radiate happiness the way Bokuto did. Bokuto brought a smile to everyone’s faces, hell, even his own.

So what had happened today that had dampened his happy?

And… where was his good morning?

In the midst of thinking, (Y/n) had kept direct eye contact with Bokuto’s pathetic form. Bokuto looked up, and eventually trailed off and met eyes with (Y/n). His eyes widened horrifically, and he averted his gaze faster than (Y/n) could process. In fact, he turned his whole body away from him. (Y/n) furrowed his eyebrows, a small frown tugging at his lips. He put his head down in his arms, both him and Bokuto now sporting the same, closed off, sulking pose. One thing had been abundantly clear, in (Y/n’s) brain. He had definitely done something wrong.

——————

It continued like this for days. No more good mornings.

There were also no more endless rants or splurges during passing periods, no more walking home from school with Bokuto, no more lunches where Bokuto would plop himself down suspiciously close and start bugging him for his bento, nothing.

And (Y/n) didn’t know why.

Today was the 7th consecutive time Bokuto Koutarou had ignored him. He had kept count. He didn’t even hide the way he’d stare at Bokuto with hurt puppy eyes. He’d burn holes into Bokuto’s side with his gaze, and all he got in response was an uncomfortable shift in his seat.

After staring him down for the nth time that morning, (Y/n) looked down to his lap, where he was fiddling with fingers. He could think of at least eighty-nine things he could’ve possibly done to upset Bokuto, and if he thought some more, he could probably come up with even more.

“—This assignment, I will be assigning partners. More or less who I believe you will get the most work done with, or for those of you who… struggle, who could help you get work done. However, I don’t mind if you decide you want to work by yourself for this one either.” The teacher had been talking, and for the first time, he hadn’t realized he was missing everything. He usually paid attention and would regurgitate the information back in a dumber way for Bokuto.

He looked up just in time to hear the teacher listing off the names of people in partners. He hadn’t been paying much attention to the work right now, so he’d have to have his partner explain to him what they were doing—

“Next, (L/n)-kun and Bokuto-kun. You two seem to be very good friends.”

(Y/n) froze. From shock or excitement, he didn’t know. But he saw a chance. His eyes flicked to Bokuto, who wasn’t looking back at him. His eyes burned with hope he didn’t have once in the last few days. Screw this assignment. He couldn’t care less about his grade right now, but he couldn’t thank his teacher more for pairing them up together.

(Y/n) was memorizing what he would say to Bokuto, when he stood up.

“Teach’?” Bokuto murmured. His face was downcast, his eyes staring off to the side and completely unreadable. The teacher hummed in acknowledgment.

“I wanna work by myself.”

Never once did Bokuto’s eyes land on (Y/n). There was no show of any sort of emotion on his face, and if there was, it wasn’t a good one. It unsettled (Y/n). He couldn’t read him.

“Alright. (L/n)?” (Y/n) looked up to the teacher reluctantly. “I think you’ll get along with Kazashi-san well. I know how reserved you are. Why don’t you work with her?”

(Y/n) cringed at the mention of working with a complete stranger. He wanted to work with Bokuto. Still, that didn’t stop ‘Kazashi’ from sauntering over to his seat, and sitting down in the chair in front of him.

“Hello, (L/n).” Kazushi said. The tamber in her friendly, bubbly voice made (Y/n) want to puke. It wasn’t the same when someone other than Bokuto was cheery and sunshiny.

“I-I would like to work alone as well-!”

(Y/n) blurted out, raising his hand and standing up from his seat. Kazushi puffed out her cheeks, a small scowl on her face. The teacher blinked, and mumbled out a “Sure… Kazushi-san, uh, go work with Akiro-san and Toshi-kun.”

(Y/n) fumbled back down onto his seat, swallowing a very flustered clump in his throat. For some, that was the loudest people had ever heard his voice. He stared blankly as papers were passed out, placed on his desk, as did Bokuto.

(Y/n) couldn’t breathe. His vision wouldn’t single in on the paper he was supposed to be writing, alone, and it only grew fuzzier when he tried to focus. Maybe more he relaxed, the more the feeling would go away, and maybe he could take in some oxygen. Yeah, yeah that should work. He gently laid his head on his desk, trying to ignore the achy feeling in his chest as he took labored breaths. He tried to make himself as tiny and limp as possible. He didn’t realize how stupid he looked.

But as he lay there, doing everything to ease the nonexistent pain in his gut, he knew. He had a name for that achy, hollow feeling. As he watched Bokuto, who hated working alone, choose solidarity just to get away from him, as scenes of him not paying Bokuto much direct eye-to-eye attention, as he sat there, alone, wanting to sob and scream and crawl out of the depth of rope he was tied under…

That horrible, gnawing feeling clinging to his insiders was named “guilt.”

——————

New day, new beginnings.

(Y/n) repeated those words in his head, gripping the condensing can of green tea in his shaky hands. The forming drops of liquid seeped into his palms, but he couldn’t care less. He set the bottle down gently on Bokuto’s school desk. (Y/n) wiped his hands on his school blazer, and hurried off to his own desk. He was the only one in the classroom, a bit eager to see Bokuto and maybe apologize.

After pointless minutes of waiting and waiting, the sound of the door sliding open caught his ear. He stared shamelessly as Bokuto, Konoha, and Washio all filed in, mid-conversation. It was all coming into place. He’d see the little gift, then see him, he’ll say sorry for whatever it was he did, and he won’t have the aching, incessant throb in his chest suffocating him anymore. And better yet, he'd have Bokuto back.

He watched with glassy eyes as Bokuto stopped mid-sentence, picking up the drink from his desk. He watched as Bokuto studied the bottle of green tea bought from the school vending machines, turning it this way and that. And he watches as Bokuto’s eyes flickered to him, himself. (Y/n) stiffened, but wilted when Bokuto's eyes flitted back to his friends seemingly without a second thought.

And that aching throb in his chest only grew louder when he watched the drink he bought get offered to Konoha, who refused. Bokuto twisted open the drink and went back to talking with his friends. He could only sit there in awe as more and more students filed into the classroom.

Even in a room full of people, (Y/n) felt alone. And, for once, he didn’t have Bokuto there to save him.

——————

Every single fiber of his body ached with a guilt he didn’t even know how he caused.

He ached to fix it. He ached to get rid of the ache. God, this whole ordeal was starting to make (Y/n) lose sleep.

(Y/n) trudged his way through the rather empty hallway. Skipping out on his club was something he never did, but he got too antsy and ticked off by his fellow club members trying to pry inside his mind, asking if he was ‘okay.’ Of course he wasn’t okay.

It’s been 3 weeks since he’d spoken to Bokuto.

Guilt was eating him up. It crippled him, consuming his every thought, action, everything. He thought he knew emotion. He thought he had the concept of ‘guilt’ down to perfection. But he underestimated its power. It made him irrational.

Which is why he found himself waiting outside the school gates, long after dark, waiting for Bokuto to get out of practice.

He had been waiting outside in the cold for hours- when the hell did practice end?- warming up his numb hands with his breath, and part of him wanted to just go home and try again tomorrow. It was really cold.

And even if he did get to speak to Bokuto, what would he even say? He didn’t even know what he did, what they were fighting over. What was supposed to say to that? How would he even get past stopping him at the school entrance?

(Y/n) was so lost in thought, he didn’t even notice the gaggle of sweaty volleyball players heading towards the exit of the school. (Y/n’s) manic eyes widened dramatically, landing on Bokuto, who began parting with his teammates. He waved goodbye to the remainders of his team, before looking back ahead, and freezing.

For a while, the two just stared at eachother, unmoving, in the breeze of Tokyo’s cold nights. (Y/n) somehow forgot all about his numb hands. After what seemed like ages, Bokuto averted his gaze stiffly and attempted to speedwalk away without saying a word. It was clear as day, now.

Bokuto Koutarou was ignoring him.

The bitter truth seemed to hurt more that (Y/n) had anticipated. It stung like a slap to the cheek, though (Y/n) had no time to recoil, as Bokuto was already heaps away. He snapped out of his daze, and began stumbling his way in Bokuto’s direction.

“W-wait…” (Y/n’s) voice wouldn’t come out the way he wanted it to. “Bokuto-kun, I-”

No response. His figure grew smaller as he walked away from him. (Y/n) began to stutter towards him faster, with his hand extending out shyly.

“Bokuto-kun..”

No response. (Y/n) staggered towards him like a tipsy man. Chains and chains and chains and chains and chains of guilt pulled him away. Bokuto seemed to be moving so fast, whilst (Y/n’s) world played in slow-motion.

“Bokuto-”

No response. Bokuto never once turned around. The wall of invisibility between them only grew thicker with every step he took. It all happened so slow, yet so fast at the same time. (Y/n) began to push against the weights.

“B-Bokuto!”

No response. (Y/n) forced his voice out, and for once, it obeyed. His legs pushed faster. They were at such a distance that there would be no way Bokuto wouldn't have heard him. He knew it clearly, as more guilt wrapped around his legs. Bokuto was actively ignoring him. It hurt.

“Bokuto!”

No response. Rows of houses surfaced. The world seemed to spin against (Y/n’s) will, spinning and spinning, playing a melody of ringing that blared in his ears. Bokuto seemed to walk impossibly faster- he was practically jogging. (Y/n) met the ground, tripping over his non-existent chains and crashing pathetically onto his knees.

“Koutarou!”

No response.

But when he didn’t hear the sound of booming footsteps growing smaller, (Y/n) looked up to find Bokuto staring back at him. There was a blank, slightly awed face on his features, staring him down as if he was waiting for him to speak. (Y/n) picked himself up hastily, and a bit pathetically.

They were staring at eachother again, and (Y/n’s) voice had decided that it had had enough of yelling for tonight. Nothing would come out of his mouth, and god, with the way Bokuto pursed his lips sadly, and began to walk away, he wish something would’ve.

Bokuto turned back around. His head was down, and his shoulders sagged with the heavy sigh he let out. (Y/n’s) face darkened. “W-wait, please-”

He didn’t. Bokuto kept his head down, and kept walking. His vision began closing in on him, the world melded into purely nothing but the disappearing figure that was practically his only friend.

Friend. Did he even have the right to call him that anymore? Why wasn’t Bokuto saying anything? (Y/n) continued to call out to him, telling him to wait, even just for a second, but it all seemed to get lost in translation. Does he not see him at all? (Y/n’s) body seemed to seize up limb by limb under the deafening silence. Did he not care? Did he not care about him? Did he not care about him anymore? Did he ever care? It hurt. It stung. (Y/n) whipped up his head in a state of hysteria. “I’m sorry!”

(Y/n) grasped at his, surprisingly messed up and sweaty, hair. His eyes were blurring with tears, everything in front of him turning into a meld of watercolor. He brought his trembling hands to his eyes to messily wipe away the tears on his sleeves. They kept coming. He wiped more. He kept his arms guarding his face, hiding his vulnerable state from Bokuto as much as he could. It was embarrassing. He looked, and felt, pathetic. He was gasping in breaths, but every breath in seeming to produce endless tears in return. He sank to his knees. “I’m sorry I- I don't know what I did and I- I feel so- so- so bad and I- I miss you so much-”

“What!?” Bokuto yelled, a sense of dread lacing his voice. (Y/n) didn’t hear him over his hips and sobs, continuing his nonsensical babbling of “I’m sorry,” and “I feel horrible.”

“I just- don’t leave me… you can- can hate me, just… don’t-- don’t… Please… I-I love… I need… I want-”

“No! Fuck! Wait!” Bokuto panicked, rushing over to (Y/n) and practically throwing himself onto his knees. “Why are you crying!? Did I do something!? No! No! Please- no-! Stop crying, please!”

Bokuto scooped up (Y/n’s) melting face into his hands and tipped it up. (Y/n) let his hands drop placidly to his sides, still sobbing violently and purling nonsense. He began hastily and nervously shooing away tears.

“Fuuuuuck-! Why are you crying…?” Bokuto squawked. (Y/n) hiccuped.

“You- you’re ignoring me and I- I- I don’t know why-!” (Y/n) sobbed, voice slightly muffled from Bokuto hastily wiping away tears. “I’m sorry if I did something just please-”

“No!” Bokuto squawked. “No! Fuck! I got- you- we got it all wrong!”

“I thought you hated me!”

(Y/n) blinked. He sniffled. “What…? Who told you that?”

“Well-” Bokuto thought back. Now that he thought about it, no one really told him that (Y/n) hated him. Give him personal space, sure, but no one said (Y/n) hated Bokuto. Bokuto grimaced. “Well… I just.. thought so!”

“So I just trying to… give you personal space a bit n stuff yanno…” Bokuto’s voice died out into a murmur.

“I don’t want ‘personal space’..!” (Y/n) clasped Bokuto’s hands. “I… I like it when you tell me good morning every day..! And- and when you have lunch with me! And when you walk me home sometimes! I-”

“I love you!”

Bokuto blinked. (Y/n) was huffing. This was not happening. He pinched (Y/n’s) cheeks lightly. They were real. He wasn’t making shit up. “Holy shit.” was the first thing that came out of Bokuto’s mouth, and he kind of wished he said something cooler. “Holy shit!”

“I love you too! Like- so much! I love you so much! We should- we should like, go out! Does that mean I can hang out with you again!? I’m so happy!”

Again, Bokuto wished he would’ve said something cooler, but (Y/n) didn’t mind, and so did Bokuto. He got his point across.

Especially with the way (Y/n) leaned into Bokuto’s hands, still cupping his face, with the way (Y/n) smiled one of his cute, reserved smiles, with the way Bokuto clumsily clacked foreheads with him, he’s pretty sure he got his point across pretty well. ——————

“You guys are fucking gross.” Konoha said. Bokuto looked up, as did (Y/n). Bokuto was laying his head happily in (Y/n’s) lap, as (Y/n) stroked and messed with his hair. “Get a fucking room.”

“You’re the one intruding on our precious lunch time!” Bokuto whined. He buried his head stubbornly in (Y/n’s) lap. “We’re not even in a public space! This space is private!” “You were the one who actively sought us out, so maybe you’re the pervert here.”

Konoha sighed, and walked away. There was no point in trying to get Bokuto up and off to their little impromptu volleyball practice.

Man, sometimes, he had no clue what went on inside of Bokuto’s mind.

——————

tags: @iwillbiteabitch

548 notes · View notes

millenialfanfictionaddiction · 2 years

Text

🏅Being Team Japan's Manager 🏅

💔Relationship Troubles with Bokuto 💗

Bokuto Kōtarō featuring Team Japan x Female Manager

Warnings: Swearing, Bokuto being a complete jerk, petname, angst to fluff, suggestive at the end 🙃

AN: Its a very Bokuto centered day 🥰This is an Anon request! I may have gotten a tiny bit carried away with this one. I also cried alot 🥲 I'm emotional when it comes to our boys 🥺 I'm really proud of this one ❤

🌠 Please Like, Reblog and/or Share to help support my writing 🌠

Oof this one is going to make me cry 😢

I already know it

And the fact that it's with our resident himbo 🥺

But it must be done and who else to deliver but yours truly 🤗

Your relationship with Bokuto has been going on for about 6 months now

You started out of friends when you joined Team Japan as their resident hotty 🔥 and manager 💅🏼

Honestly, Team Japan adores you YN

You lucky bitch 😒

But there was always something special about Bokuto

Pls he's such a bubbly Boi I just can't even 😫

Bokuto took an instant liking to you and you to him

Did he annoy you? Absolutely 💯

Did you find him attractive as all hell? Abso-FREAKING-lutely 🙌🏻

Bokuto is like what? 6'3" timeskip 👀

Lawd girl of you don't I will

N E WAYS, you two grew extremely close

Daily practices and nightly walks home

Consistent "HEY HEY HEY YN WATCH THIS!"

Giant Bear hugs and headpats

You would grab coffee or ever dinner sometimes

Of course, the other three idiots guys would accompany you occasionally as well

When Bokuto finally asked you out, it was very Bokuto-style

Super spontaneous and loud

Lile he literally walked you to your apartment door, was about to leave, turned around and shouted

"YN WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"- Bokuto, zero chill

"Ko- we just went out..."- You, extremely confused

"No I mean, like a date"- Bokuto 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

YN of you take longer than a single second to answer this imma come there and smack you 🤚🏻

Someone summon Iwaizumi for me- 🏐

"Of course I will Kotaro"- You 🥺🤗

Good girl Yn ☺️

Please Bokuto is so excited he will pick you up and spin you around 🥰

God I love that for you 😐

Me, a jealous bish

Thus begins the ship know as BokuYN

The next few months go by quickly

Your relationship is tugging along and everything is going well

Unfortunately, the storm clouds are moving in YN 😔⛈️

And all good things can't last

It starts out small, everyone is so stressed with the Olympics coming up

Bokuto especially

Imagine all the pressure to be perfect and score points 😪 that has got to be so rough

Bokuto starts staying late for practice and heading home with you less frequently

You start eating dinner alone and he starts coming home later and later ☹️

One morning, you wake up and Bokuto isn't next to you

You try calling him but nothing

You show up to the gym and find him there with Kageyama, Atsumu and Hinata

You are confused as to what is going on 🤨

Like rightfully so

I mean what did they just sleep on the bleachers the night before?

I wouldn't put it past them honestly 😒

You approach them and ask what's going on

Atsumu is setting for Bokuto and he narrowly misses a line shot

"God dammit! Send up another one"- Bokuto, furious and sweating 😓

"Hey guys- have you been practicing all night?"- you, curious

"Nah we quit at 9 last night"- Kageyama getting a drink of water

Ok now your really confused 🤚🏻

You look at Bokuto who is setting up for another spike

"Ko you didn't come home last night"- you

He ignores you, spiking the ball

Ok then- 😐

Let's try this again shall we 🙃

"Kotaro did you hear me?"- you, now standing with your hands on your hips

Ope- someone's in trouble 😶

Atsumu, Hinata and Kags are now looking from you to Bokuto 👀

"I stayed with Hinata last night"- Bokuto, walking away from you, going to his phone and scrolling

Clearly his phone is working 😑

That's suspicious 🤨 that's weird

"And why would you do that?"- you, obviously upset

"Because I felt like it"- Bokuto

Not to be toxic here but that's not an answer dude 😒

"Ok but why- I texted you and you never got back to me. And it's clear your phone is fine since your looking at it right now"- YN, hands now in the air, just ready to go

"Maybe I just needed some fucking space YN"- Bokuto

Please now Aran, Yaku, Komori, Sakusa, Habuka,Ushijima,Hyakuzawa, amd Iwaizumi are all on the gym 🤚🏻

Silently observing 👀

"Are you serious right now? What did I do Ko?"- you, walking towards him

"YN I just need some fucking space! You're around me constantly and I can't fucking concentrate on these damn Olympics with you breathing down my neck all the time! Like all you ever do is talk talk talk and I'm so fucking sick of it! Just fucking leave me alone! If you did anything for this team besides stand around, maybe you'd understand my stress! But you always have to come first YN and Im fucking DONE!"- Bokuto, finally snapping

Oh he's pissed

Like fuming at you 😡😤

It's honestly so embarrassing he would say such things in front of everyone

You face heats and your fists tighten-

You don't even know what to do, so-

You just look up at him, tears filling your eyes

Ok everyone just breath ok

I mean, I'm crying 🥺

You know that feeling when your stomach just drops and you feel almost sick

That's what's happening now

The tears are welling up and it's about to happen

There is no stopping that crying YN and you shouldn't!

Bokuto essentially took your heart, threw it on the ground and stomped all over it

Nah he rolled over it with a steam roller and fed it through a wood chipper 😬

He broke you 😔

No matter how you try, a brave face isn't coming

So you do what you must

"Fine Bokuto. You don't want me bothering you anymore. Than consider me gone"- You, turning to walk out of the gym, tears flowing, past the other members of the team

Everyone is stunned 😲 and honestly same

Nobody expected this of Bokuto, like he's literally the last one I'd expect to do this

But the pressure was mounting and unfortunately YN, you were the catalyst

The gym is silent as Bokuto sets his water down, turning to face Atsumu

"Toss another one"- Bokuto, getting into place

Please these guys are PISSED and so confused 😕

"What the fuck was that-" Atsumu, the first to speak

As much as I bully this man, istg he's loyal as fuck

And while he loves Bokuto like a brother, he also loves you

"Bokuto that was so harsh man"- Habuka

"It needed to be said. She's been so clingy and needy. The Olympics are coming up and I need to practice"- Bokuto, starting to realize that he's the total ass in this situation but still holding face

He's a man 🙄😒

"You're an dumbass Bokuto"- Iwaizumi, turning to go and find you

"Bokuto sit down. You're done for today"- Aran

"The fuck I am-"

"The fuck you are because I said so"- Aran

Please Aran can be so fucking scary 😨

Bokuto will get right in his face

"Hey cool it you two!"- Hyakuzawa

"Bokuto- chill man"- Kageyama pulling him back

Hoshiumi finally comes in the gym

"Hey what's wrong with YN. I saw her leaving and she was crying"- Hoshiumi

It's all starting to sink in now-

"FUCK-" Bokuto, throwing his waterbottle against the wall and storming out

Everyone is just exhausted and it's showing

"Should we go after him?"- Hyakuzawa, the mediator of the group

"I think we should call Akaashi- this is over our heads"- Aran, leaving to get his phone and make the call

Meanwhile, you are now sitting on a bench, full on ugly crying

Snot down the face, tears everywhere, can't catch your breath BAWLING

🤚🏻 say less YN your heartbroken and its ok to cry 💔

Please I'm crying writing this and it's fiction 😭

"Hey YN- are you ok?"- Iwaizumi, coming to sit next to you

"No- no Hajime I'm not ok"- you, sucking in breath and trying to calm down

Spoiler alert: it's not working

"I think I need to go home Haji"- you

"You do that YN. And hey, it will be ok... I promise. I'll talk to him"- Iwaizumi

"Hajime, you heard him. He doesn't want me so give me one good reason why I should stay?"- you, hugging yourself and crying

"YN he's under a lot of stress. He shouldn't have said those things. You know he cares about you"- Iwaizumi, trying to save this

"YN please just listen-" I was our freaking savior

"Hajime, if he cared he wouldn't have said those things. If he cared, he would have avoided my texts and calls. He embarrassed me in there. You don't do that to someone you care about"- you, making an excellent point

"I'll see you later Haji. Thanks for being here"

You try and force a smile as tears stream down your face

Upon arriving at your apartment, you do nothing but mope

You say nothing more as you turn and walk away

You cry the entire way home, trying to hide your face from those around you

Honestly YN as you should 💅🏼

I'm like so mad at Bokuto right now you have no idea 🤬 you crawl into bed, covering yourself up and cry like there's no tomorrow

Back at the gym, Bokuto is sitting in the locker room with a towel hanging over his head

That bitchy voice inside your head telling you that everything was a lie and you were never good enough for Bokuto

You eventually manage to cry yourself to sleep 😔

He knows he fucked up... like MAJORLY fucked up

The stress of the Olympics had been weighing on our poor owl bby and the fact that he just can't hit his line shots

Iwaizumi comes in and sits next to him

"I fucked up bad"- Bokuto

"Yeah you fucking did asshole"- Iwaizumi not even beating around the bush

"Shit"- Bokuto, throwing his towel against the locker

"You need to chill out Bokuto. Your stress isn't helping anything right now. You said some pretty mean stuff to YN and she's really hurt"- Iwaizumi

"Did she leave?"- Bokuto

"Yeah- she went home"- Iwaizumi

"Fuck I have to talk to her-" Bokuto standing, fists clenched

"Hold up there cowboy. Give her some space man. You broke her heart dude. It's not going to be an easy fix. Wait a day, let it rest"- Iwaizumi

As much as he hated to do it, Bokuto let it rest

He went to his apartment, one he spent very little time in nowadays and tried to relax 😔

The next day, he arrived early to try and catch you

Only, you weren't there 😞

"Where's YN?"- Bokuto to Hoshiumi

"She didn't come in today. She called and told Aran she's taking personal time"

"God dammit!"- Bokuto, just about to punch the wall

Thankfully Sakusa is there to stop him

"Bo a broken hand isn't going to help man. You need to chill"- Sakusa

"Come on man, let's practice and then we can talk"- Hinata

"How can I practice without YN? Knowing I fucked up the best thing I ever had"- Bokuto, now a deflated Owl

"Well it's good to finally see you admit how much you care for YN"- Akaashi, with Kuroo at his side

"What are you doing here?"- Bokuto, genuinely confused 🤨

"Aran called me and well Kuroo heard through the grapevine"- Akaashi

Please Kuroo knows all the gossip

These boys talk more than old ladies in church

"Dude what is wrong with you? This isn't like you"- Kuroo

"I've been so stressed and I can't hit my line shots. I've been practicing day and night and nothing feels right"- Bokuto, now hunched over on the bleachers, surrounded by the peanut gallery

"Have you thought thay maybe your practicing too much Bo?"- Kageyama

Seriously he's one to talk 🙄

"I mean, what has YN said about you staying late for practice?"- Akaashi

"I haven't been around much- I've just been so stressed. And I just dont know"- Bokuto

"Well Bokuto, you have to decide what you want to do. If you want to break up with YN, I think you owe her an explanation. She at least deserves that. But if you want to make up with her-" Akaashi

"I DO! I really do! I thought alot last night and YN's been the one consistent good thing in my life. I- I think I love her"- Bokuto

Pls bby you were a jerk but you are breaking my heart 💔😫

"Well then you need to talk to her"- Kuroo

Bokuto knew this and he was so ready

Unfortunately you weren't 🙁

A knock sounded as you drag yourself to the door

The peep hole reveals Bokuto, standing there, hair deflated

You open the door and cross your arms

That's right YN! We are a powerful women and we will show it ✊🏻

"Hey YN, can we talk?"- Bokuto

"That's what we are doing-"

"YN please I'm so sorry- I was a complete asshole and jerk! I know I royally fucked up and god, YN I'm so sorry"- Bokuto

Tears are forming in this man's eyes

But also in yours 😟

"Bokuto-" you

"Ko, you call me Ko"- Bokuto

"Listen, I need time. What you said really hurt me and I'm not ready talk to you let alone see you. I just don't know if I can do this-" please the tears are rolling down your face but you're voice remains strong

"YN- please, just please"- Bokuto, full on crying

"Good night Bokuto"- You, shutting the door and breaking down

Please Bokuto hears you and it KILLS him 😭

He did that to you and he hates himself

The next few days drag

You return to your manager job but you try and steer clear of Bokuto

Unfortunately the team doesn't get that memo 😒

Please they are trying everything possible to get you to back together

You are miserable, Bokuto is EXTRA miserable

"YN can you wrap Bokuto's fingers? I have to do Komori's and Yaku's"- Iwaizumi

"I can do it Iwa" - Kageyama

Please that went right over his head

Iwaizumi is just staring at him like 👁➖️👁

You don't even say anything, just grab the tape and walk to Bokuto

The man towers over you so he is looking down at you while you wrap his fingers

"How are you?"- Bokuto, genuinely concerned

"Fine"- you, trying to just hold it together long enough to wrap those long fingers 👀

"You've lost some weight-" Bokuto

"Yeah I haven't been hungry"- You, unfortunately your voice cracks and you have to bite your lip to keep it from quivering

"YN, baby-" Bokuto, lifting your face up by your chin and looking into your watering eyes

He hates seeing you like this and knowing he caused it 🤧

"Done"- you, looking up and smiling a little, tears filling your eyes before you turn and walk out of the gym

Bokuto watches you go

And so do the others 👀

Nosey bitches 🙄💅🏼

Also side note: screw Iwa for throwing you under the bus like that 🖕🏻 imma Iwa cannon a volleyball at Iwa 😤

It's safe to say practice has been a little... well tense to say the least

Bokuto is getting blocked, missing cross court shots and liners left and right

It hurts you even more to see the man you love hurting

Wait 🤚🏻 love?

Oh hell yeah you love him YN

Just admit it 🙃

But no matter how much you love him, it doesn't take away how he treated you the past few weeks

And how much his words that day hurt

You're at a crossroads Yn and it's not an easy choice

Luckily for you, you have supportive friends

Wait, did I say supportive? I mean Atsumu and Hinata 🤣

But also Aran, Ushijima and Iwaizumi

Ok ok ill stop 😅

They stop by your place unexpectedly with food

"You need to eat"- Atsumu, pushing past you

"Don't think we haven't noticed YN"- Iwaizumi, coming in behind Atsumu

"Wow it's nice to see you too"- you 😐

"Hi YN, how are you doing?"- Aran, giving you a big hug

Please he gives amazing hugs 🥺

"Could be better"- you, now hugging Ushijima and Hinata

"YN how long are you going to do this?"- Atsumu

Aran and Iwaizumi 👉🏻🤦‍♂️🤦

"I hate to admit it YN but Atsumu is right. It's obvious you two love each other"- Ushijima

"Yeah"- you, sinking into the couch

"YN we know what he said hurt and we aren't telling you to just forget about it"- Aran

"But Bokuto is miserable YN. He's not eating, he's spending all his days at the gym and I know he's not sleeping"- Iwaizumi

"YN we know you're just as miserable so why don't you stop this"- Ushijima

"Just talk to him YN"- Hinata

Maybe, just maybe they have a point

You sigh and resign yourself to the fact that as much as Bokuto's words hurt you

You know that the stress of the Olympics and his hard training have worn on him

The next morning, you arrive at 6 am to start work

You hear the sound of balls being spiked against the floor of the gym

You know that sound, the exact sound of a Bokuto serve

You approach the door and peer in, seeing Bokuto tossing up another serve

The ball slams over, hitting right on the end line

"That was a nice shot"- you, walking into the gym

Bokuto stops and looks straight at you, mouth agape

You're talking to him- like actually conversing with him

And you PRAISED HIM 😭😭😭

"Thanks, what are you doing here?"- Bokuto

You giggle a little

Bokuto's heart swells

"Did you forget I come in early to set up?"- you

"Haha yeah I guess- I've just been doing it since- well-" - Bokuto rubbing the back of his neck

"Want me to set for you?"- You, taking a chance

Bokuto's head shots up 😳

"Really?" Please YN he's so happy he's smiling 🙂

"Yeah"- you taking position as Bokuto tosses to you and you set

Perfect cross court shot 😚🤌🏻

"Nice kill Ko!!"- you smiling and looking back at him

Please he's melting YN 😭

"First one I've gotten in all week"- Bokuto, his head down, rubbing his arms

What 😳

"Ko..."

"I'm miserable YN. I'm so fucking miserable. I can't sleep, I can't eat. Every single practice, I miss tosses, get blocked or the ball is out. I- I can't do this"- Bokuto, looking at you as tears roll down his face

"Ko come here"- you, reaching out for him as he comes to your arms for a hug 🫂

Please that man will hug you and never want to let you go

You pull back as he rests his forehead against yours

🥺 please I'm such a sap God WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

"YN I know I don't deserve you but I need you to know that you are the best thing to ever happen to me. I know I fucked up and God I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry baby. I love you so much and I can't do this without you"- Bokuto, tears flowing

"I love you too Ko"- You, smiling with tears in your eyes

"You- you do?"- Bokuto, now smiling like a freaking idiot 😃

"Yeah I really do"- You

Please 🤚🏻 say less

This man is picking you up and swinging you in the air

"Ko, Jesus Ko calm down"- you, laughing and smiling

"I can't! The most amazing, beautiful women in the world loves me"- Bokuto, finally setting you down

"Yeah I do my ace"- You

Please his lips are on yours before you can finish that sentence 🤚🏻 💋

"Jesus christ get a room will ya"- Atsumu, walking in as you and Bokuto turn around to see the entire team watching you 😳

"Oh my god that was so sweet 🥺"- Yaku about to cry

"Well I'm finally glad to see you guys have worked it out"- Iwaizumi

"Jesus YN way to bring it down to the wire, the Olympics is a month way"- Kageyama, ever the inspiration 🙄

"Aran are you crying?"- Hinata

"No- I just got some dust in my eyes from these volleyballs"- Aran, wiping his eyes and walking away

Sure 😏 "dust from the volleyballs"

"Ok enough of this, let's get to practice"- Aran

"Ummm actually- I uh, I need YN to help me with something"- Bokuto being suspicious 🤔 and dragging you to the door

"Ko, can't it wait until after practice!"- you, being dragged

"Absolutely not"- Bokuto

Please he's on a mission 😏

Iwaizumi just rolls his eyes 🙄

"Jesus christ just be safe ok? We don't need any little Bokuto babies running around"- Iwaizumi

"I make no promises"- Bokuto, pulling you out as you laugh and wave to the team

"Jesus that's got to be some record Emo mode"- Komori

"It lasted 8 days and Bokuto missed 436 spikes"- Atsumu, nonchalantly rattling of statistics

Komori, Yaku and Aran 👉🏻👁👄👁

"You kept track of that?"- Hakuba, honestly impressed

"I'm the setter, it's my job to make sure the players are ok"- Atsumu, shrugging

"Hey now- you aren't the official setter just yet 😑"- Kageyama

"It's only a matter of time"- Atsumu 😏

"😐 the fuck it is- " Kageyama following Atsumu and yelling

"God I wish YN was here"- Aran

"She's probably getting her back blown out as we speak"- Habuka

"Jesus christ 🤦‍♂️ alright get to work"- Iwaizumi, smiling

Side note: you were in fact, getting your back completely blown to pieces 😏

421 notes · View notes

honeycreamsweets · 2 years

Text

⭐️Fading Star (Part 2)⭐️

Miya Atsumu x gender neutral reader

(You/yours and they/them for reader)

All angst. (Only small comfort)

Mentions- Reader is still heartbroken. And is uncomfortable. Atsumu still has no idea of their feelings. He lacks self-awareness of how he treats Reader. Small confrontations but nothing intense. Akaashi is a good boy and Sakusa got a lil attitude. Crying. Lots hugs. Some cursing?? Pet names and reader is angry internally. Sad Atsumu. Both are kinda shitty to each other. Unrequited feelings and realizing you're too late to fix this.

Word count- 4100

Notes- Had a bad weekend!!! Someone made me cry and feel awful so you guys get to feel awful with me<3 we suffer together. Anyway. I originally wasn't going to do a part 2. I had a weird time trying to figure out a part 2 until it hit me and then I've kinda been nonstop writing for the last two days. No beta reader cause I don’t have one but I’m sorry about mistakes! Enjoy !

Part one

The drive back home from his game was so painful. He set it in stone that you were a backup friend for his relationships. Your friendship would never be the same. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. The pain from losing your star lingered but it dulled over time. It became easier to distract yourself from the bleeding light that Atsumu left in your life. It washed over you in waves. Some days it was easier to say you were over it. And other days, it hurt to see him in passing. You made a vow to yourself to enjoy being a distant observer of someone’s star. You’d find a better star. Maybe.

It was four months until Atsumu’s and his partner’s first anniversary. You endured the friendship and stayed readily available for him. These feelings were bottled up within you. You tried to speak up during those months. Atsumu shot you down before he could be even considered your point of view.

“We don’t hang out anymore. You don’t talk to me or your other friends. I miss you and I’m glad you’re with someone who makes you happy but you’re neglecting everyone else. You rushed in-“

You were cut off by his annoyed groan. “Not you too…” he mumbled under his breath. “Listen, y/n. I’m doing things I haven’t done before. You should be happy for me. We can hang out later. I’ve done my part to keep my friends so. Just learn to be happy for me. That’s what I would do for you.” His demeanor was defensive and it only made you feel worse. Maybe you were a terrible friend..? You should have been happy for him..! But you couldn’t find it in yourself to do that. You changed the topic and never tried to talk about it again. You didn’t tell anyone else, fearing that someone would discover your feelings. You bottled up your sad feelings over that star and hid them from the world.

You received an invitation from Atsumu to hang out since his partner was out for the day. You debated on if it was a good idea to see him for a long period. He never made time for you. He was shitty at messaging you back unless he needed something. He wasn't even half the friend he was before. But alas. That dumbass had your heart wrapped around his finger even if time had passed. You agreed while your inner thoughts were begging you to not go. You knew it’d only cause you to regress.

But you wanted to see your- their star.

A small moment of relief occurred when you saw the other parked cars of his teammates and friends outside of his apartment. You sighed softly as you walked to his floor. Sounds of Bokuto’s and Atsumu’s muffled yells could be heard through the door. Normally, you would have smiled to hear them being so loud. It was difficult to mask the dull ache from your yearning over Miya Atsumu. You softly knocked on the door and exhaled sharply before practicing a smile. You were greeted by Hinata suddenly. “Y/N!!!!!” He yelled while trapping you in a tight hug.

The sounds of his laughter and your pleas to be set free drew the attention of the others. Atsumu walked to the door to see you engulfed in a hug. “Heyyy, Y/n! Good to see y-” He was interrupted by Bokuto shoving him aside. The tight hug became even tighter as Bokuto joined in. Atsumu chuckled as he watched. He opened his arms to join in the big bear hug. “Damn, I invited ‘em over and you guys are acting like that’s your best friend.”

You smiled sheepishly as you were squished between the two men. He hadn't called you that in a long time... The second you saw Atsumu approaching while still calling you his best friend, you panicked. You poked at Hinata’s and Bokuto’s sides until they let go. You didn’t want to be suspicious but you didn’t want to make the effort to hug him. If you had his teammates as a barrier. He didn’t deserve a hug in your eyes. “Hi, it’s good to see you guys.” You spoke quickly. “Who else is here?” You asked as you stepped into the apartment.

Atsumu frowned at not receiving a hug. “Omi, Keiji, and Rin,” He said as he glanced at Hinata and Bokuto in question. The other two men shrugged and glanced between each other. Atsumu followed you inside. To his disbelief, he saw you embrace Suna, Akaashi, AND Sakusa before him. You always made sure to put him first. Why pull this now? “Oh, and Samu will be here to drop off —---.” He raised a brow in question at Sakusa, who had his arms wrapped around your torso loosely. Sakusa shrugged at him briefly after you let go. “Are you gonna say hi to me or hug me, Huh??” He looked at you expectantly and with a pout on his face.

That’s exactly what you feared. You thought you wouldn’t have to endure seeing him happy with someone else. But never mind. You nodded and turned slowly before looking at Atsumu with a big grin. “Sounds great and Hi, bestie.” You gave him a brief side hug; however, his hug consumed your whole body. The action made you tense before slowly hugging him back. Your expression became more neutral gradually as you melted into the hug. you inhaled softly and lost yourself in the embrace that you longed for. To Atsumu, your avoidance was a flunk but you were specifically avoiding the inevitable. This. You were screaming at yourself to let go and remember that you were done with him. Everything felt okay again. You were enjoying his light when you had no right to. You mustered up some willpower and forced yourself to pull away before he could. “What game are we playing?”

The night continued with everyone having fun. Your facade was worked. And for a while..? It was how things were before. You felt relieved and desperately missed the interactions you used you have with all of them regularly. Your guard dropped and for once in a long time. You felt that Atsumu still truly cared about you, again. Even just as a friend. Rekindling with everyone made the evening feel fun and everyone got along.

Atsumu felt content about all of his closest friends being together once again. A large sense of love and pride ran through him. Everything was complete in his eyes. Being a star, he was used to being observed by everyone. But he had a group of people to who he always wanted attention. His closest friends, his brother, his best friend, and his partner. He shined brightly for those he cared about. In a way, Osamu, Y/n, and his partner were his stars. He loved how each had their own light and reacted differently to him. Soon he’d have all three of his stars together.

The front door unlocked. Atsumu and you both looked toward the door to see who it was. It was Osamu and —-. At the same time, you two reacted. Atsumu smiled and beamed as he started getting excited for his partner and Osaumu to join. You, on the other hand, your smile faded into a small one. A visible shift in your mood occurred and it caught the attention of three guests. But not the person who mattered to you most.

Osamu, Akaashi, and Sakusa noticed the change before glancing at Atsumu and then at each other. Unbeknownst to you, you had exposed yourself. The three had some slight suspicions about your behavior.

Atsumu quickly welcomed his partner. He cupped their face while sharing a loving kiss with them. The scene made you nauseous. You turned your head away to protect yourself. All the hard work you had done would have been for nothing. You couldn’t break and feel more heartache over someone who had no idea about your feelings. You didn't hate his significant other. You hated how they snuck in and pushed you down from Atsumu's priorities. Atsumu told you how they cared about you but it seemed the opposite. You didn’t trust yourself to not tear up at the sight of them. You swallowed your pride and said hello anyway.

No matter what happened, or how much time had passed. Atsumu wasn’t yours. He could never love you in the way you wanted him to. He wasn’t your star. The stardust that he left behind time and time again, would always cloud your vision and your heart.

Osamu walked by you with a bag of groceries in hand. “I’m gonna make something. Wanna help?” He asked, grinning down at you. He was trying to give you an escape. A break from the couple that caused you pain. His smile turned into a frown when you shook your head at him. In a small voice, you mumbled a “No” before staring at the TV. Osamu sighed slightly and left you be. “Does anyone wanna help me?”

“I do!” “ME!” The two voices were Hinata and Atsumu’s partner. The two of them ran into the kitchen.

Atsumu laughed before taking a seat beside you. He looked at you happily until he noticed your blank stare. He took the opportunity to throw his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him. “Heyyyyy, we’re all having funnnn! Don’t zone out on us! Who else is gonna talk to me about the newest episode we watched of our favorite show.”

You sucked your teeth and forced a smile. “I’m just tired, and I haven’t seen it yet. You told me that we’d watch it together. So I haven't watched it yet. Have you watched it already?” You looked at his face for some honesty. A moment of weakness because you felt desperate to hear that he kept something special between just you two. He had the effort to invite you over. He could have waited to do one of the last shared activities you two had… Right..?

Atsumu looked nervous and started stuttering. “Wellll. Ya knowwww. Uhh. We can still watch it! I... Um. I haven’t seen it with you yet?“ He looked past you for the aid of your mutual friends. He wanted you to still be excited but his confession already slipped out.

Sakusa caught his beg for help and rolled his eyes. He had no intentions of helping. Bokuto chimed after letting Atsumu dig himself into a deeper grave. “Well it’d be the first time you’d see it together so does that count? I mean I think We can all watch it so it's our first time together” Bokuto looked like a sad little puppy while trying to reach for a good reason for you to not be upset.

Suna scoffed, “Y/n, he watched it without you. —— and him wouldn’t shut up about it a few days ago. He said you’d be cool with it.”

You looked back at Suna and then at Bokuto with an upset look on your face. “ I thought you’d wait for me, Miya.” You said as you looked Atsumu in the eyes. Using his last name made him wince. “You couldn’t wait even though you said you would? We don’t hang out like we used to anymore. We don't do anything together anymore. You know that. And you couldn’t wait, so why try and lie?”

Atsumu shrugged his shoulders and laughed uneasily. “Y/n..! Heyyyyyy come ooon. You know it’s still our thing. I just got overexcited. Plus It was late and we watched it. But you should be happy for me! I mean I found out that —- likes, all the same, shows you and me like! And without you, we wouldn’t be having so much fun. You’re the reason why I’m such a good boyfriend cause you taught me to be better. Don’t be upset..! Come on, you know I still love you though!”

You stared at him and then looked at the ground. Your heart was racing and you felt like you received whiplash. He was doing all the things you two did together with them..? You were just a.. a temporary emotional connection for him to practice a relationship with. You used to tear up and feel giddy when he said he loved you. Now it felt empty. It stung more to hear those words. You knew it was a bad idea to come over. You opened your mouth to speak before closing it again. You had to play it off. “No worries, dude. Don’t even worry about it. It’s just a show.” You grinned half-heartedly but your hands were shaking.

Atsumu stared at your face for any signs of dishonesty and then smiled in relief. “Alright. Thanks for understanding.” He patted your back before leaving you on the couch. He widened his eyes and exhaled sharply as he walked away. He needed to remove himself from the tense situation.

Sakusa glanced at you and then at Suna, Bokuto and Akaashi. You looked distressed and anxious. The more they stared at you, the more you felt worse. Akaashi spoke up, “Y/n…? Are you okay?”

It broke you. A small question is all that it took for your eyes to water. You held onto your emotions for so long… It was just a dumb show. It shouldn’t have hurt that he lied and used your friendship to test out things to do in a relationship. It wasn’t fair. You thought he cared..! You looked up at him with a slow nod. Your vision became blurrier by the second. You were crying and no matter how hard you tried to wipe your tears. They didn’t seem to stop. Akaashi came to sit beside you. He furrowed his brows before putting an arm around your back.

Atsumu was a stupid star and you hated him. You hated loving him and you hated yourself for never saying anything. You hated your unrequited feelings. You hate his light. You hated his stupid smile and his stupid hair. You hated when he made you feel like he cared. You hated the times spent with him that made you stay. You loved that stupid star and you would never get to keep that star that you desperately wanted. Pathetic, that's what you were. You are completely hopeless and pathetic while crying in his apartment over him.

Akaashi wasn’t sure what was exactly wrong but he stayed with you while you cried. He motioned the others to leave. Sakusa and Suna quickly left the living room. He hesitated to speak, “Ko, go get me some water for them”. Bokuto nodded and ran. They were determined to help you. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but if you want me to take you home, I can.” You sniffled as you looked at the man who was struggling to comfort you. You nodded your head and your voice trembled. “I’m okay... Thank you, Keiji. I’m sorry to cry. I just have a lot on my mind,” you mumbled.

He shook his head while he listened. “Don’t apologize for your feelings. We’re all here for you. Finish calming down and we can talk.” He said as he rubbed your back. "You're safe with me, okay?" The comfort you missed desperately from a friend made your heartache. You leaned against him before sighing shakily. He held you like he meant it. You hadn’t felt so cared about in a long time, making you weak. His compassion made you feel better about being alone. Akaashi Keiji was different. He wasn’t your star either but his short timing of comfort and reassurance was more than what Atsumu did for you in almost a year. If Atumu wanted to be better, even as a friend. He would have done it.

"Do you get something to eat before you take me home? I could use the company of a friend right now." With no hesitation, Keiji smiled softly and nodded. Regardless of what was happening, he was happy you let him stay with you.

The number of people in the kitchen was becoming overwhelming when Bokuto burst in, yelling that he needed a cold water bottle. The disturbance caused some of them to argue. Atsumu was clinging to his partner’s waist. He laughed at the entertaining group bickering. Osamu raised a brow, “Where’s Keiji and Y/n?” Sakusa huffed in defeat and he motioned with his head. “In the living room. They needed a minute.”

This got Atsumu’s attention. “Oh? I didn’t know Keiji had a thing for them?” He asked for confirmation. “They better not be making out on my couch.” He said in annoyance. It could work between you and Akaashi… But you would have told your best friend first. You’d tell him before you picked someone to be with. Especially if it was someone in your friend group.

Bokuto shook his head. “Nah Uh, they started crying and he wanted to stay with them.” He took the water bottle into the living room.

Atsumu’s smile dropped. You were crying..? And you didn’t go to him first..? He followed Bokuto out of the kitchen quickly. He hated seeing you sad. It was one thing if he could avoid you behind a screen but not in person. Akaashi was hugging you. You looked so sad… Your eyes were red and puffy from crying. Small hiccups and deep breaths could be heard from you. It hurt to see you so upset and the guilt of not being there for once got to him. It dawned on him how he hadn't comforted you in a long time. Sure, you'd ask for his company or time. But you were capable of handling yourself. He had someone he needed to be there for, already. You would always wait for him anyway. He still cared but. It was unavoidable to brush off your cries now.

He watched as Bokuto and Akaashi soothed you. He stood there for a while. Just watching you. They kept you distracted and talked. They even managed to get a laugh out of you. Maybe it was the lighting, his guilt, or maybe the distance between you two made his heart fonder towards you. But your appearance and your energy captivated him. Your laugh made him feel nostalgic. It had been so long since he heard it. It triggered something inside of him. It was familiar and comforting. He always loved your laugh. It always made him laugh too. Atsumu was blinded by a familiar light then. A bright and cool light.

Y/n shined softly as a star at the beginning of the friendship. Atsumu forgot about your starlight the closer you two got. He stopped noticing your light a long time ago. Until now, he never took the time to notice it. He spent so long outshining you that he had forgotten what drew him to you in the first place. He admired your personality and how easily you adjusted to others. You got along with anyone if you wanted to. You were a kind and inviting star. Sure, anyone could be special. But you were you. You showed him throughout your friendship that you adored him. At this moment, it reminded him how often he’d look at you as a boost for himself. You had such a comforting light. You weren’t a big star like him. But you were a close star to him and he appreciated you. (In his own ways. Albeit unhealthy but still appreciated.) You were always reachable. You were always reliable. You were always there for him. Seeing you shine bright at the moment made him rethink if he overlooked your star for too long. He wanted to change that and be there for his best friend.

He smiled to see your attitude shift into your old happy self. You interacted with them effortlessly. Despite crying, you were more lively than before. Bokuto noticed him watching and he called him over. Atsumu didn’t anticipate for you to look at him and be disappointed?? It was a blow to his ego for you to make such a face. What did he do?! You always smiled at him like he was the best thing in the world. Where was that smile?? He furrowed his brows with a grin. “Everything okay over here? I heard you were crying. Do you wanna talk?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Oh..” He stood there dumbfounded. “Are you sure? You know I’m always here for you.” He watched as you nodded. Your body was still leaning against Akaashi. It didn’t bother him but he could’ve helped you too..! He wanted to be there for you but you said no...

“I think I’m going to head home. I’m just too tired. But we can catch up later, okay?” You said as you stood up from the couch. “Tell everyone I said bye,” you said with a smile.

Atsumu shook his head to refocus himself. “I’ll drive you then.” He said while he scrambled to get his shoes by the front door.

“Actually, Keiji is going to drive me home. So you don’t have to, Atsumu.” Your words made him drop his shoes on the floor. You never declined his company before. “Have fun and enjoy your night. Thanks for inviting me.” You said as you put your shoes in front of him. “I’m okay, so you can tell your partner that they don’t have to worry about you giving me any time.” He didn’t understand the change. What happened while he was gone?? Akaashi opened the door for you and he walked with you out.

Atsumu watched you walk away with Akaashi. Keiji looked back but you never did. If he finally was seeing your beautiful and bright light again. So why were you leaving him in the dark?

Sakusa and ---- came up behind him. “Are you gonna close the door?” One of them asked, but he didn’t move. He never felt so dismissed by you. Anyone else, he wouldn’t have cared but it was you. Sakusa remembered this scene. It was you staring longing at Atsumu at the game, almost a year ago. He felt pity for you and him. But it wasn’t his job to point out the problem. If you never said anything, Sakusa wouldn’t either. He leaned close to Atsumu’s ear. “I think you fucked up.” He whispered. He stepped away from him to make room for his partner.

Atsumu’s partner waved goodbye to you and Akaashi. “Babe, we have to close the door. The cool air will get out.” They giggled before kissing his cheek. They closed the door and Atsumu didn’t move from his spot. He stared at the shut door for a moment. “Babe? Atsumu? Hello? Are you okay? Baby talk to me?” His partner called out to him in a concerned tone but their voice was drowned out due to his realization. He missed his star.

Atsumu sat on the couch and was quiet for the rest of the night. He felt abandoned..? Hurt..? He was just being sensitive but... You made him feel unwanted. Everyone left and said goodbyes. Akaashi never came back that night. He stayed with you. At least that's what he heard from Bokuto. "Keiji said y/n is okay. He's probably gonna stay overnight to be sure they're okay." When was the last time you asked him to stay over for the night? His partner was upset by his depressed state. He mentally clocked out. He checked his phone constantly and after getting nothing from you for hours, he messaged you.

“Hey, I hope you’re okay, bestie. Just know that I love you and I’m here for you.” He typed out before typing again. “Call me in the morning, okay? I miss you ⭐️”

He never shot up so quickly when he heard his phone go off.

“Okay, good night, bestie. :)”

Despite getting a response, he felt worse than he did when he was waiting for you to reach out first. He even used the star emoji, which you would always use for him. Sure, the message was positive but it wasn't normal. You never said that you loved him back once.

Your light was starting to drift from his life. That’s the thing about stars. Stars die off but their light is shown afterward. At first glance, it’ll seem like things didn’t change. But you were already a fading star before he even had a chance.

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #atsumu angst #atsumu x gender neutral reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #miya atsumu #my fics #miya osamu #suna rintarou #bokuto kotaro #sakusa kiyoomi #hinata shoyo #akaashi keiji #mentions of other haikyuu characters #gender neutral reader

185 notes · View notes

bokubear · 2 years

Text

THE HQ BOYS FORGET ABOUT YOUR DATE

featuring ; matsukawa issei, kuroo tetsuro, bokuto kotarou, akaashi keiji

warnings ; slight angst/hurt, eventual comfort, crying

notes ; it’s been a while since i updated you guys, think of this as my check in. i hope you’re all doing well !

MATTSUN experienced that uncomfortable feeling of dread filling his senses at around six thirty, approximately an entire hour late from your scheduled dinner date. the restaurant he picked out, the outfit you had bought specifically for this rare occasion. wasted. yet he didn’t realize until he happened to open his messages, your pinned number causing him to leap from the loveseat in terror. he messed up big time. your beautiful face crumbling with sadness sent him dizzy in distress. the frazzled man disregarding his usual belongings to run to the place, evening lights twinkling with the dimmed lighting; elevating the romantic atmosphere. “baby i’m so so-“ however, the apology was cut off when you shoved past him—soft sniffles heard. “if you have time to apologize, you surely had time to show up.” you hissed, not sparing a single glance at issei. after that, he trailed behind you on the way home—downcast. the sounds of your crying haunting him from the living room. he was giving you space, but this was killing him. “i made your favorite dish, come out so we can talk-“ once again, the words frothing in his throat dissolved upon impact. your face hidden in his t-shirt. “you jerk, don’t you ever do that again or i will not hesitate to cut off your hands and feet.” he stood in stunned silence. “alright then, am i forgiven ?” — “not a chance.”

KUROO was fully immersed in his job, and you couldn’t be happier for him. except for the portion which required him to be away for long periods of time. apparently, the at-home movie date was long forgotten. because tetsuro was a no show. the thought of calling him left your lip quivering. this could possibly be one of the only times you get to see him this week and your patience and resilience was running thin. finger pressing the call, listening to the dial tone with absolute silence—emotions in an overflow. but the anger bubbling quickly dissipated when the fluid and ear numbing voice was heard. his. “..how could you forget ?” your voice cracked, crucially unhelpful. “that’s it ! tonight was the movie night wasn’t it ?” he bit his lip, guilt eating his heart alive. “it was.” you finished, hands shaking as you held the phone—struggling to keep it together. “it’s okay kitten, i hear you, i can’t even explain how sorry i am, let it out i’m here.” he hushed, easing your choked sobs. he stayed on the phone with you all the way to the door, enveloping you in his arms while gently rubbing your back. “how about my neighbor totoro ?” you gasped in air. “that sounds okay.” he smiled weakly, kissing your lips. “anything for you.”

BOKUTO grinned form ear to ear, this smile was most definitely not as large as it was when gazing at you—but impressive in the least. his power was phenomenal and this practice was proving simple. kotarou’s gained skill over the years bringing him to this moment. he was obsessed. although no matter how deeply he adores volleyball, you took first. today though the ace was fully charged. mind straying from the picnic date set up forty minutes ago. “that one was the best !” he shouted with glee, fists clenching pridefully. his mini celebration cut short at the gym doors being opened. there you stood, gorgeous as ever in your newly purchased sun-dress. “how’d the practice go ?” you quietly exclaimed, eyes saddened. automatically he ran to you, noting the picnic basket in your hands. “sweets i forgot i’m sorry honey i—“ the look on your face unreadable. “can we start this day over ?” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. “just take me on a date you oaf, and if you forget next time i’m not going to your next game.” he brightened first, then paled at the later add in. “that’s easy peasy then.” he smirked triumphantly, hands on his hips. “mhm i bet it is.” you hummed, brows lifted in amusement. ‘honey.’ you haven’t heard that one before.

AKAASHI is a busy man. from filing reports to his editing career, his life at the moment is an endless loophole of assignment after assignment. spacing out hardly any time given to spend with you. today was a breakfast day. a day he reserved especially for you, only for you. to go out and eat early and to return to your comfy abode to lay in bed, simply conversing. nevertheless, his internal alarm clock filtered on his job, waking up beside you to leave a peck on your forehead before walking to the subway station. regular routine. funny enough, this one was a close call. a very close call. seated in his office chair, your text affirmed on the screen. ‘where are you ?’ the memories drowning keiji in a huge tsunami. recollections of yesterdays excitement crashing into him. ‘went to the store, hang tight love.’ and just as fast as he’d entered the building he exited. with the small white lie discarded. déjà vu passing by at the familiar bedrooms entities. “you weren’t actually at the store we’re you ?” surveying his coat with a sleepy smile gracing your angelic face. “no, but i’m here now.” he puckered, glancing away from embarrassment. “close call.” he hovered above you, breathy kisses devouring your neck. “but i made it.” you chuckled, his lips tickling your jaw. “that you did.”

-maak

plagiarism, repost, and editing is prohibited

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mrs-kodzuken · 3 months

Text

Forgive me if I jump too? ♡

Pairing: Kōtarō Bokuto x fem!reader x Keiji Akaashi

WC: 2.3k

Genre: angst to slight fluff (comfort)

CW: 3rd pov omniscient, fem!reader, switches to 1st fem!pov nearing end, poly relationship, suicide, suicidal thoughts, death, blood (kinda descriptive) angst to semi fluff (comfort) at the end

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The day felt as if it wasn't ever going to end for (Y/n). She trudged her way home, feeling more numb than usual.

She promised herself that it wasn't going to be today, that she could continue being 'happy'.

But hell, she didn't even know what being happy felt like anymore. Her two special boys came to mind, and no matter how much she tried, she couldn't shake the feeling.

Regret.

(Y/n) tried so hard to be strong, to live, and to actually be happy. However, it seems as if the world didn't care.

She looked up at the moon from her bedroom window. The stars shone so brightly, as if they knew what she was going to do that night.

A small, horrific smile graced her lips as she thought of the peace she'd feel when she was gone.

Opening her window, she could feel the breeze dancing through her hair. She wanted to feel that again, and even though it was late—practically almost three in the morning—she climbed out of her window.

When she took her bike, the one she used to ride so much, memories filled her head as she peddled down the road.

She knew exactly where she wanted—no, needed—to go.

(Y/n)'s heavy breathing filled the cold air around her, pinching her lungs. She calmly walked up the staircase of the abandoned building.

With each step she took, she felt more and more at peace. It was as if she could just float up them.

When she reached the top, she pulled out her phone.

The electronic light lit up, giving her a view of her wallpaper. It was between her lovers and her; they had gotten ice cream on that hot summer day.

Kōtarō had accidentally dropped his, making Keiji share, only because he wanted to.

She immediately started a call with the two of them. wanting to hear their voices once more. Just once.

Keiji had heard the noisy mobile device wake him from his slumber. The caller ID showing 'my owls', he instantly picked it up.

"Hello? (Y/n), Kō, what are you two doing up?" Keiji's groggy voice filled the air.

"I wasn't up," Kōtarō finally said sluggishly, not wanting to be scolded this late.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep." (Y/n) lied straight through her teeth to her boyfriends.

"Do you need us to come over? Is something wrong?" Bokuto's voice perked up.

"No, no, I just wanted to hear your voices one last time."

Those words grabbed Akaashi's attention, making him get a hold of his senses.

"(Y/n), what do you mean by that? Where are you?" He got up in a rush, grabbing a hoodie and shoes shoving them on quickly.

"Our roof top, ours, but it doesn't matter. Not anymore. Just know that I love you both so much." She could feel the tears welling in her eyes and the lump in her throat growing making her voice sound funny.

Bokuto had already woken his parents up to try and get to (Y/n) before it was too late.

"(Y/n), baby, please stay on the line, please." The desperation and begging in Bokuto's voice grew with every word.

"I'm so sorry, but you know that I will cherish everything we have." She sniffed, her voice breaking in the most saddening way.

"What about always and forever?" Akaashi had already stormed out of the house, running frantically to where she was. He needed to stall her.

His throat was burning, but he refused to cry; he wanted to believe they could save her.

"Sadly, always and forever, I will not be in this life. but I hope to meet you both in our next one." She moved her feet closer to the edge.

Looking up, she saw the night sky twinkling so brightly.

"I love you so much, Keiji, Kōtarō. Take care of one another, would you please?"

Bokuto had been yelling for her to stop her movements and for the car to go faster.

Akaashi slowed his steps, breathless. He begged her to stay over the phone.

A small 'I love you' escaped her lips before she backed away, getting a running head start.

She flew off of the building like an angel, her phone still with her. The air surrounding her sounded like whispers, giving her chills on her way down.

Her body hit the pavement and a loud, sickening sound erupted from the phone. Blood almost immediately seeping out of her delicate skull.

The grotesque sound was the last noise from the other end of the phone call before it was ended when it landed.

The pain radiated through Keiji as he was on his knees, tears flowing down his cheeks as he painfully let out a scream.

Bokuto refused to believe that she was dead; he wanted to marry her, and Keiji said that it would happen one day. She had to be alive. She had to.

His eyes filled with tears as his heart felt like it was ripped out of his chest.

'This isn't fair.' Both of the boys thought heartbreakingly. It was unfair.

As the late car neared the building, the headlights shone on her body. It was now lifeless and covered in blood, her neck bent in a weird shape.

Gasps were heard from Kō's parents.

Bokuto ran out of the car, almost instantly taking her dead, mis-shaped body into his arms.

"Please come back, please come back," he whispered over and over, cradling her bloody, lifeless body to his.

Bokuto's mother gasped again, sharply, at the state of his girlfriend. She immediately called an ambulance; however, it was too late.

Her blood had seeped into his clothes, making the crime scene look even worse.

Keiji finally had the strength to continue his saddened walk, pushing himself off the ground.

His sniffling came about in the cold air. He neared the building, seeing Bokuto cradling her body.

As he walked closer, the harsh pain in his throat grew, and the empty pit in his abdomen was increasing.

Keiji crouched down once again, his head in his hands.

He started blaming himself, thinking he should have kept a better eye on her. She would still be here if he had.

"Kōtarō, sweetie, please let go.." His mother hiccuped, not wanting to finish the sentence.

Meanwhile, his father had been on the phone with Akaashi's parents, (Y/n)'s parents, and the hospital.

"No, I can't," his voice, now rough, cried out, clenching her body to his.

The remembrance of her last words had been running through both of their minds.

A loud siren sounded, flashing lights of blue and red coming closer to the horrific scene.

It's been a week since (Y/n) (L/n) committed suicide. The skies have been covered in a dreary rain since then, and the mood was damper too.

The walls of the Fukurodani Academy were almost silent. However, no one had been affected the most by her death except for two people: Keiji Akaashi and Kōtarō Bokuto.

A week full of despair was what it was.

Once again, the sky clouded over, preparing itself for the heavy amount of rain it was going to release once again.

The boys had hardly shown up to school that week, much less practice. Being in each other's embrace without (Y/n) was too much. Too heartbreaking. Too sickening.

While it was the end of the school day, Akaashi had sat on the steps of the school when everyone left.

An empty feeling inside of him became impossibly stronger—numbness.

He was overwhelmed by his anxiety and fear most of the time. Due to his life without (Y/n) he didn't care about his future nor his grades.

She was his future, and now she was gone.

He just couldn't take it anymore. Keiji had unknowingly walked to the building where she once stood.

Letting the cold, shivering rain wash over him, trying to soothe him.

He finally let it out a long, painful scream sounded through the air and the harsh rain. He started releasing his tears, sobbing loudly, it being covered by the rain.

Pulling out his phone, he texted his last living lover. It was simple: I love you. It would do the job.

Unknowingly, Bokuto had been visiting the building every day because it was the last place you were.

He needed you like he needed air.

While he walked up the stairs, he got a ping from his messages. Not seeing the double meaning behind Keiji's text, he replied.

A horrible, sinking feeling filled him.

He opened the door to see Akaashi fall from the edge of the building. His eyes widened, reaching out to him, but he was too far away.

Kōtarō held his hand near his chest, putting his head down. It was as if electricity had struck him.

It wasn't fair.

He had lost both of his love ones in a span of two weeks. It wasn't fair; he put his hand in his hands.

"Will you forgive me if I jump too?" He said this to them, hoping that they'd heard him from wherever they were.

The sudden realization sparked in his brain: if he goes, he'll see them.

He yearned for them—their life, their touch, their happiness. For them.

Kōtarō walked and looked down at his lovers body. the rain flooding his body making the blood it stream downward. It was a mess, a horrible mess.

Flashbacks of the same thing happening to (Y/n) surfaced his mind. He swallowed harshly, letting his tears mix in with the rain.

Hair flat against his forehead, he decided not to think about it anymore.

He slowly turned around, putting his arms up. Bokuto wasn't thinking of anyone else; there wasn't anyone in the world he would want more than them.

"See you soon."

Kōtarō fell backwards from the building, his heart racing. It all seemed surreal; peacefulness wrapped around him as he plummeted downward.

His body lay close to one of his lovers on the black pavement. A loss of three lives.

An entire new feeling took over his senses. He opened his eyes to see no rain but two people.

They had watery eyes, holding each other's hands, one out for him to take.

Koutarou rushed into their arms, the embrace of his partners relaxing him.

No words were spoken except "Always and forever, right?"

I felt peace surround me, as if all my worries were taken away.

Accessing the situation in front of me, my body lying in a disgusting manner. I mentally gagged; I did look horrible when I fell.

I watched my lovers arrive at the scene, but when I saw them, a dreadful feeling came about.

One week.

Their deaths are in one week; I'm not sure how or why, but I knew. It was more than a feeling, and I hated it.

I had been watching them this entire time; I even went to my own funeral, which was kind of a power move in my opinion.

My partner's tears weren't something I liked to see, though. The days of school that they skipped, the lack of practice.

I didn't mean to cause them any pain; I just wanted to be selfish for once in my life.

I hoped that they'd be strong together, so they wouldn't die yet. However, every time they did see each other, they would burst into tears almost immediately.

Sighing, I sat beside Akaashi, his head in his hands, while he sat on the school steps.

I watched the tears roll down his pretty face, looking away because I knew I couldn't do anything to help him.

He picked himself up, leaving his school bag on the steps. I followed him to the building where I had committed suicide a week ago.

Hearing him break down broke my heart. I'm sure no one wants to see their significant other painfully cry like this.

Knowing what was about to come, I headed down the steps. I wanted to meet him there.

I froze when I saw Kōtarō; he was on his phone, which lit up his face. His eyes were a bit red, and I could see the flushed aftermarks from his tears.

Peeking over his shoulder as I heard his phone ping; it was a text from Akaashi. It stated a simple, 'I love you.'

My eyes widened as I booked it around the building.

When I came around, I saw Keiji's body fall off the building. It almost looked as if he was smiling.

I quickly tore my eyes away from him as his body cracked on the ground.

Looking around, I was met by a frantic-looking Keiji.

Running up to him, I embraced him in a longing hug. Tears pricking my eyes because I was met with him once again, but he had died. He died because of me.

"Keiji," I said, burying my head into his chest as he squeezed my body close to his.

"I missed you so much." He cupped my face, salty tears running down his face.

"I missed you more." I paused, hearing Bokuto say something from the top of the building.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Kō; he's coming." I buried my head in his chest once again, not wanting to see his death either.

When I was sure he had fallen, after I got over the horrible noise his body made when colliding with the ground, I peeked my eyes open, seeing him.

He engulfed us both in a hug as I felt our bodies trembling at each other's.

"Always and forever, right?" I heard Bokuto say, his voice muffled.

"Always and forever," Akaashi and I whispered back.

Now I knew why I hadn't moved on when I died. I was waiting for them. But now that they're here, we could all finally start a better life together in the afterlife.

Cherishing each other's boundless souls.

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a/n: this is from my book “Haikyuu x Reader One Shots” on Wattpad! I hope you enjoyed it you angsty readers and let me know if you have any requests!!

the header is made by me, please like/reblog if used <3

#haikyuu bokuaka #bokuaka #haikyuu angst #haikyuu suicide #bokuaka x reader #angst to comfort #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi keiji #bokuto kotaro #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi angst #hq akaashi #hq bokuto #hq angst #angst with a happy ending #haikyuu x reader

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ninapi · 1 year

Text

New to this (Akaashi version)

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Premise: Akaashi Keiji falls in love with a single mother and realizes she's all he wants for his life.

Word Count: 4743

Chapter 4: Confrontation

You were currently resting on a very comfy bed. Staring up at the ceiling above you. Akaashi had ordered extra pillows for you to be as comfortable as possible in your physical state. Though, when he said ‘extra pillows’ you assumed he ordered a couple more for you to be able to sit up a bit on the bed or put under your feet. That was not the case clearly, as you were laying in what looked like a pillow fort more than a guest bedroom. The thought made you giggle to yourself, he really went on and bought eight more pillows, new sheets, and a fluffy pink comforter for you to be as comfortable as you were back home. Not like you had any of this back in your apartment, but the concentrated scowl he had on his face while purchasing all these things online for you made your insides curl. He really is cute.

The room itself wasn’t very big but it had all you could need, a queen size bed, a fairly large closet and a bedside table. Not much besides that. The walls were very muted, almost like a gray box, with not a single piece of art hanging from the walls or the regular type of decorations you would normally have in display for a guest bedroom. It looked pretty different to your own apartment, colorful and full of trinkets, it was almost like Akaashi himself. But you were grateful for being there. Thanks to his help you were going to be able to pay for your son’s school without delays and you were being tended by a devilishly handsome guy and an adorable little girl. Seiji was also ecstatic, he got to play whenever he wanted and also got compliments all the time by doing things, he would do normally without getting any, like tying up his shoes by himself or throwing the recyclable trash in the correct container, his ego getting out of control now that he is the big boy of the house.

You were bored beyond despair not being able to move on your own, the tv was in the living room and you didn’t have any paid streaming subscriptions in your phone, so there were limits to what you could do when there was nobody home. But the rest of the gang were packing up everything up from your house to bring it all to Akaashi’s place. There wasn’t much to pack, the room came with all the furniture anyways, so there was no need to hire a moving company. Everything should fit in a few boxes. But you were feeling extremely uneasy for the silliest of reasons. You told Seiji to be careful and not let Akaashi anywhere near your underwear drawer, but will he really listen? He is just five and doesn’t understand the implications of the sinful drawer and this was not what you envisioned be the first time he’d see it. Not like you wanted him to see anything of what’s inside the damn thing, you seriously need to go shopping for new stuff, everything there must be burnt to oblivion.

You tried to distract yourself from your obsessive thoughts that somehow ended up leaving you hot and bothered thinking of the first time he will indeed see your underwear, hopefully on you and after you can actually move, so you started running an inventory of all your things in your head. You were positive the couple of boxes that they’d bring would fit in the closet, it looked pretty big after all. Now that you think about it, everything here looked big. You haven’t had the time to talk with Akaashi about what he does for a living yet, all you know is that he works with books, but somehow you never thought that would make as much money, this house is definitely more than what a single father and a toddler needed.

You couldn’t look around the house much since you weren’t able to walk yet, but everything looked larger than you imagined. A two-level town house, with a big front yard. No plants, nor decorations at all, just like the room you were in. Seiji was sharing the bed with you as usual, Akaashi insisted on getting him a bed and re-do Kimi’s room so they could stay there as he insists it is a very large space and mostly empty, but you refused his offer, you just didn’t want him to go spending more money on you any further. He kept on nagging about it, but you told him that maybe later, when things were more settled, and you have a bit of money to spend. This managed to silence him as he noticed you were thinking about the money issue, not about leaving his house soon. All he wanted was to make you stay there for as long as possible, so making Seiji feel comfortable was probably his best bet, besides he really didn’t want the child sleeping with you every night, so he had to do something about it.

Once they came back you saw you were right, only a couple of cardboard boxes, that’s what your entire life really was. Even Akaashi was surprised, they only took about an hour to pack everything up. Not the happiest of thoughts, but at least you didn’t bother him excessively. When Seiji came into the room to check on you, he gave you an ‘OK’ sign with his tiny hand and attempted a wink, his tongue sticking out in the process, you assumed that meant he protected your integrity as a woman and you should be relieved by it, so why are you sad thinking about how much he looked like Atusmu right now, so silly yet the most adorable face you’ve seen in your entire life. You gotta get yourself together and stop mopping for someone who didn’t love you as much as you did.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

A couple of weeks have passed, and you are now able to drag yourself to the living room without any help or support, staying there for most of your days. You’ve been trying to guide Akaashi on how to prepare simple dishes as you ran out of places to order take-out from already and were starting to get worried about everyone’s health, but it hasn’t been working.

You chuckled with the spoon still in your mouth, “Why is this soup so sweet, Akaashi-san?” he was genuinely confused so he took your spoon and got a taste, like that was something completely normal, totally unbothered. But why was it sweet? He made sure to follow all your instructions carefully, none of the ingredients were sweet. You saw the canister on the island counter and everything made sense now, “Akaashi-san. The blue one is sugar, not salt. The salt is in the yellow canister to the left in the big pantry.” you pointed over to the kitchen, trying not to laugh at his honest mistake, the face he was making reminded you of the first time you guys met, he looked so constipated it was almost funny.

You know his kitchen better than he does and you’ve never set a foot in it.

“Keiji…” he looked at you, more like stared, right into your soul. “Call me Keiji. You live here now, there’s no need for formalities.” You kept on eating your sweetened chicken soup, avoiding his eyes, heat pulsing from your cheeks at his insinuation, of course you knew you had to stop acting like strangers, you live together and was clear as day that both were developing feelings for each other, but it just felt weird, how it all came to be. Like you skipped so many steps. “Sorry, Keiji.” you replied softly, and he was glowing. His facial expression never really changing, still looked like he was constipated and in a lot of pain, but a rare warmth was filling the air around the both of you and you could only assume that it made him happy enough.

“(Y/N) can I ask you something? It’s ok if you don’t want to answer, I’ve just been thinking about it for a while now and thought I would just ask.” you set the now empty bowl on the coffee table, giving him your full attention. “Why do you have to have three jobs? Isn’t it easier on you to just have one?” he was always a blunt one, but you could see he was concerned and trying to go around the delicate subject without upsetting you much. He never really thought about how his comments would affect others, but he’s been told off many times for the way he speaks, and he really didn’t want you to be troubled on his account. “It really isn’t healthy to overwork yourself so much, what if exhaustion causes you to have another accident? We were lucky this time that it wasn’t as bad, but you’ve had to go through a lot with these minor injuries, what if something worse happens?” you know he is right but all you can think of right now is how he said ‘we’ and not ‘you’.

“Well, I couldn’t finish college. I had to start working right away before Seiji was born. There aren’t many good jobs you can get without an actual degree. Since Seiji was still so little and didn’t have anyone to take care of him, I figured working from home was the best option, but I was only able to find a couple with short hours and low salaries, so I was forced to take more than one.”

You wanted a better life for you and your son but going pass money problems isn’t something you’ve been able to accomplish since then.

“So how about now? You don’t have to pay for rent, you could take a few online classes and finish your degree while you fully recover. Seiji is now in school so he’s out most of the day. I could even talk to some people in my company and get you in in no time, I know a guy from the human resources team and he owes me one.” This is something you would have never considered, you thought this would be your life for the rest there is. Were there even online classes in your major? Probably yes, especially now a days, but- “It’s probably still not enough. College is expensive, even a couple of classes would eat up a big chunk of my current income.” With a sigh, Akaashi dropped the subject and headed to wash the dishes. He needed to do something, and he knew just what that is, but it terrified him it would backfire.

He made a choice though, it had to be done.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Akaashi was stepping over a good number of boundaries by doing what he was about to do right now. But he felt like he had to do it. He couldn’t just watch you continue suffering and injuring yourself just for money issues, it could be avoided, and it was just unfair.

So here he was, waiting for Bokuto to finish volleyball practice, sipping on some iced coffee, anxiety eating him inside out. Summer already present but he was sure he was sweating so much for other reasons. Never thought of himself as an anxious person until that very moment.

“Hey, hey, hey!! Is that you, AKAASHI!??” Bokuto ran over to him, squeezing him almost to death, causing Akaashi to glare at him like the old times, “Release me, Bokuto-san. I’m not here to see you.” Bokuto held a hand to his chest, signalizing a broken heart and fell to his knees ready to throw a tantrum. But Akaashi ignored him, looking around the gym. “Is Miya here? I need to talk to him.”

Hearing his name, Atsumu popped his head out of the locker room, chasing the sound of a voice he didn’t recognize. He thought it was someone from the news that was supposed to interview him this week, so he goes out with his blinding smile in display “Did you need me for something? I can change back into my uniform if you need some pictures.” His cocky grin and attitude were driving Akaashi to his limits, but he doesn’t show it on his face, he must do this for you and your son’s sake.

“I’m probably not who you think I am. I came here to talk to you about (Y/N) and your son.” Bokuto lets out the loudest gasp anyone has ever heard, “YOU HAVE A SON, TSUMTSUM?????” he blinked at him in disbelief, now clinging to the sleeve of the designer shirt Atsumu was wearing.

He was not expecting to hear your name ever again. There were nights where he wanted to go and look you up in social media, see how you were, but he never did, scared he would find you happy and in love with someone that wasn’t him, maybe in Hawaii with a pineapple in your hand and some heart-shaped glasses, going on with your life, better off without him.

He feels like someone hit him with a baseball bat. On his face.

A son.

He had a son.

No, it’s not possible. He is sure of that, always been sure since the day she mentioned it for the first time.

“Sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t have a son.” he got up from his seat, his face lacking any color, he looked like he was going to be sick any second now, but Akaashi held him down hard back onto the seat, fuming at the audacity of the man next to him. “Yes, you do. He is five and his name is Seiji, he looks just like you. Not even you could deny him. (Y/N) is currently living in my house, she’s been struggling for years to feed your son and had an accident recently, so I took her in. She had no one else to look after her. Her family left her just like you did. And now they need your help. It’s the least you can do, you’ve never been there for them not even in their darkest moments. Be a man for once, Miya.”

His world was suddenly collapsing on his shoulders. Did he really have a son?

“Look, just come with me to pick him up from school, ok? All you have to do is look at him. Tell me then if he is or not your son.” Akaashi grabbed Atsumu from his shirt, pulling him over to his car, Bokuto tagging along not wanting to miss the ordeal and wishing he had bought the bag of popcorn he saw at the store on his way to practice.

Atsumu was a mess inside, it wasn’t possible, was it? He left you and ran away not even letting Osamu contact you, he still has scars from the whole thing, but he was so embarrassed of having others know the woman he wanted to marry cheated on him. And now this guy he hasn’t seen in years comes and tells him that you’ve been struggling to buy food for his son? Is this his fault? Did you really struggle that hard because he wasn’t there? He can really be an ass sometimes, that was totally unnecessary.

The school was not far from the gym, taking them about twenty minutes to get there. No one dared to speak at all and Atsumu was grateful for that.

As soon as they arrived at the school, the teacher at the gates greets Akaashi, letting him know that Kimi boarded the school transport safely and should be already home. “Oh yeah, I know. Thanks for taking care of my daughter. I’m actually here to pick Seiji up.” he points over with his thumb to the guys behind him “Boys night” he says, trying to distract the teacher of the awkwardness of it all.

She calls Seiji up and the child comes running over to Akaashi with a wide smile on his face.

Atsumu's brain cracks.

He truly looks just like him when he was a child. But that smile, he knew that smile better than anyone, is what made him fall in love with you in the first place. The way you would smile up at him would cheer him up in the worst of days. It was so warm and full of love.

He did have a son.

“Papa, I made something for you today!” Seiji has started calling Akaashi ‘papa’ for lack of a better word. He couldn’t call him sir anymore since they lived together now, and Kimi would call his mom ‘mama’, so he didn’t really think anything out of it. And Akaashi was not going to complain. Since they started living together, he wants nothing more than to father this child as soon as possible. Well, there’s a few things he wants more than that, but he has no time for lewd thoughts right now.

Bokuto squeals at this, running over to the toddler, “AKAASHI! Is he your son too? I thought you only had a daughter!” he pinched Seiji’s adorable looking cheek, as clueless as someone can ever be.

The face he was making just now when Bokuto pinched him. He looked just like Osamu when he used to get on his nerves, Atsumu thought, trying to process everything. But Seiji is the one to speak up first, shaking his head, not wanting to create any type of unwanted situation for Akaashi with his friends, “He is not my real papa, I don’t have one. But he is really kind to me and my mama, so he feels like one.” Poor Akaashi, he was having a meltdown on that very spot, not like anyone would notice of course. But so was Atsumu, for different reasons.

“These guys here are friends of mine from high school, don’t mind them much.” said Akaashi to the child in front of him. “What is it that you made, show me.” He crouched down to his level and Seiji shows him a volleyball keychain, “The assignment was to make a good luck charm for your very own papa and take them to the shrine to get them blessed, so I thought maybe a volleyball would be better than a red square for you. We made them with felt!” Seiji beamed, holding the charm for everyone to see, and Atsumu couldn’t hold it any longer, his real papa was here a few meters away from him, he just didn't know it. Crouching down beside them, Akaashi stands and back away a little to give them space. “That is a fantastically well depicted volleyball. But it would be a waste to give that to someone who doesn’t play the sport anymore. Don’t you think? Could it be possible to bribe you into giving it to me instead? I’m a pro-volleyball player, surely, I need it more than he does, since it was blessed by the volleyball god and all. How does a triple-scoop ice cream cone sounds like?” he smiles at the child, and this for some reason makes Seiji feel weird, he feels like he knows this man but has never seen him before. Maybe it’s because they have similar eyes, he read cats like people with light color eyes because it makes them feel safe, like they were family. That had to be it.

To this Seiji, looks up to Akaashi, who just nods in agreement. “We can just make another one later with mama and Kimi. I’ll take you to the temple for more blessings.”

Seiji has been completely swayed, a triple cone was a hard one to reject and was now handing the charm over to Atsumu and giving him his signature smile, "Here you have it, sir! Hope the blessing works, I asked for it to be the luckiest of all!" Atsumu’s eyes fill with tears, and he just can’t help himself.

Wrapping his arms around the small child, he cried. He was hugging his son.

Bokuto pokes Akaashi on his ribs, pointing at the scene unfolding before them, with a knowing expression. Akaashi can just nod, not liking this at all but knowing he has the right to do so. He wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, and he knows he could have been.

Seiji doesn’t know why but having this old man hugging him and crying all over his hair, makes him cry just as hard.

They really do look like two drops of water; they even make the same face when they cry.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

The four go into Akaashi’s car. Bokuto wanted to sit at the front with Akaashi, he just misses his friend so much and Akaashi was being, well, Akaashi, not wanting to be pestered by him. But he let the boy sit with his father on the back, eyes constantly checking on the mirror to make sure he wasn’t doing anything stupid.

To his surprise, Atsumu was now teaching Seiji some words, he needed help with his homework if he wanted to have time for the 2-hour special of detective Connan that was playing tonight. “So how do you read this?” Seiji points to a word in his book. “Platypus” says Atsumu, with a very confused expression, “What on earth is a Platypus though?” he was about to pull out his phone to look it up online, but Seiji perks up, he knows the answer to that question. “A platypus is an animal native to Australia. He looks like a duck and a beaver had a baby together, but they are poisonous. Never touch one, ok? NEVER.” Seiji looks up at him with a scary looking glare on his face. He really reminds him of Samu. He bets they would get along really well, but that’s something he took away from them. He could have had a loving father and an uncle that would probably love him more than he ever loved his own brother. He took all of that from Seiji and not just from Seiji, from you as well. “Got it, no touching Australian duckies.” he extends his pinky over to his son and he grabs it right away, sealing their promise. This makes Atsumu think of getting a platypus pet. Would that get him to love him more than he loves Akaashi? Is it even legal to own a platypus? He can’t go to Australia right now; an important game is coming up.

The rest of the ride goes on without incidents, Bokuto almost throwing himself out of the car when they reached the ice cream shop.

Akaashi was going over to help Seiji out, but Atsumu had already picked him up and was currently carrying him over to the counter. He needs to stop this before what he fears the most actually happens.

“You can choose whatever you want, I will buy it for you. Just ask the lovely lady here to give it to you.” he smiles at the old woman on the other side of the counter, probably now in her late seventies, making her flush with his flattery. “Hmmmm, how about chocolate, strawberry and vanilla?” he looked at all the flavors under the glass case, there were at least thirty different flavors to choose from, “Ehhh? Why would you go for the normal flavors? Wouldn’t you want to try something crazy like that ‘triple almond sugar cookie festa?” Atsumu questions his son. “But I’ve never eaten them before, I don’t know what’s in any of them.” Seiji really wanted to try them all out, but he wasn’t the most experienced in the field, ice cream was in limited supplies back home, what if he ruins this chance and gets one that tastes like piss? He couldn’t risk it. “Common, where’s your adventurous spirit?? I’m sure is right here inside of you somewhere.” he tickled his little tummy, making the toddler giggle and bury his face on the crook of his neck. The display of affection was the cutest thing the ice cream lady had seen today, bringing a smile to her face. “Listen to your father, boy. He knows best. How about I give you a sample so you can try it first? If you don’t like it, then we get you the flavors you chose.” Seiji was thinking so hard that he didn’t even notice what she said about Atsumu being his father, he just wanted to try every flavor. But Atsumu felt a sudden sense of pride that she was able to notice the truth of their relationship, and Akaashi felt like he was losing all he had accomplished with Seiji in the last weeks. Without Seiji he has nothing, Miya can definitely snatch your heart back, he’s very aware that you still think about him constantly.

Seiji ended up trying the crazy flavored ice cream, happily eating it on a table outside the shop with Bokuto who’s eating two cones at the same time. “Seiji, would you stay here with uncle Bokuto? I need to talk with my friend here about some boring work-related things.” Bokuto chocked with glee, hearing Akaashi calling him uncle, that has to mean he is important, right? “Leave him to me, AKAASHI! I will hold the fortress.” he nods with new resolution, and Akaashi pulls Atsumu over to another table, far from the others. “Ok so, just to be clear. I’m not letting you go back into (Y/N)’s life.” Atsumu’s heart crashes and breaks into a million pieces. He just met his wonderful son, and he is expecting him to just go back to his normal life? Akaashi continues, “I brought you here not to rekindle your relationship with your long-lost son. (Y/N) can’t pay for his school tuition. She had three part-times to cover their needs but after the accident she can’t really leave the house and has been bedridden for weeks. I want to help her to finish college and get her degree so she can get a decent job and tend to her son properly without dying from exhaustion. You are in the pro-league, I’m sure you can spare a few hundred bucks for your son’s education, even if it’s just for this year while she can get back on her feet.” Atsumu really doesn’t want to hear any of this. He knows he doesn’t deserve another chance, but reality isn’t being nice to him. He knows this is all his fault, you could have had a better life if he would have just stayed and like Akaashi said, be a man. “If you don’t want to give her money, you can just pay directly to the school every month, you know where his school is now-“, Atsumu steps in, not listening to him anymore, “Does (Y/N) know you came to see me?” it’s all he asks and is just above a small whisper. “No, this was my idea, she would have never-“he gets interrupted once more, “Yeah of course not. Let her know I will pay for it and not just for this year. Here’s my number. Let me know whenever he needs something, I will get it for him.” he slides his golden business card over to Akaashi and walks away, not saying good bye to anyone. He has a lot to think about right now.

He just can’t face Seiji again today.

Akaashi goes back to the child, noticing how Bokuto went to clean his sticky hands in the restroom. “Let’s get going, Seiji. Mama must be worried.” he walks over to his side, pointing over to his car, but Seiji stops him, “Wait! Where’s your yellow haired friend? I haven’t thanked him properly yet and wanted to talk to him some more, he said he would help me finish my assignment!” the boy pouts, tears glossing up his honey colored eyes, and Akaashi’s heart breaks completely, is he really missing his dad already? He doesn’t even know he is his dad. “He had to go back to work. Now let’s go.” getting Seiji in the car and securing his seat belt.

His mission was successful but his heart aches a bit too much right now. Seiji stays quiet the entire time, trying to finish his homework by himself, slightly resenting Akaashi for not telling him his friend was leaving.

Bokuto walks out of the restroom, heaving a satisfied sigh, “HEY HEY HEY WHERE’S EVERYONE?”. But Akaashi’s car was nowhere to be seen right now.

They all forgot about him.

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●

Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyu fanfiction #akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #Fluff #Angst #Family Fluff #Single Parenting #Slow burn #hurt/comfort #fukurodani #miya atsumu #Daddy Atsumu #inarizaki #bokuto kotaro

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leafsgarbage · 1 year

Text

leave before you love me | m.a.

A/N: It was hard to figure out how to go about this one

Synopsis: He doesn’t really want you to care for him and the little scars he hides so well

Genre: Band!AU, fluff, angst (duh)

Warnings: drug use, strip clubs, toxic relationship,

Pairings: leadsinger!Atsumu x f!reader, timeskip!Atsumu x f!reader.

Main Masterlist

preview,

“We’re going tomorrow night.” Mila says to you. She’s been raving about this band for the longest time. “Taro is opening for them!”

You pull up your head from the kitchen table, you got home 20 minutes ago from working at the club and your head hurts. She knows you love Taro which is why she used that against you. “Fine. I’m not working tomorrow anyway.”

She claps her hands together. “Maybe you could wear what you’re wearing now! Your bodysuit looks cute. Did they tip you for handing them drinks.”

You smile, remembering it was a busy Thursday. “Yea, a bachelor party came in, and although I think they’re absolute pigs, they do tip a shit ton.”

“Ugh, I wish, my shift starts at seven pm, and I finish at midnight so I’ll meet you at the club they’re performing at.” She looks at her watch and notices it’s about six am. “Agh, go to sleep ok, get some rest.”

“G’night.” You change out of your clothes, shower, and then you fall dead on your bed.

You hardly ever have dreams, but this time, you dreamt that you and Mila were somewhere better than a scruffy two bedroom apartment in the middle of Chicago. Despite the shitty apartment, you two had a wonderful view of the city, and that was about the nicest thing you had.

Working as a waitress definitely helped you be able to pay your rent and own a couple of nice things. You love the girls you met there, but you just aren’t sure if this is what you want to be doing forever. There was just never another option for you.

When you wake up its one in the afternoon. You have a long day before you have to meet up with Mila, so you clean the house, make breakfast, and get ready to head to the gym.

It’s about 5pm when you walk in and spot Kenma and Kuroo, your friends from the orphanage. “Hey!” You wave them down and Kuroo gives a big and bright smile while Kenma waves slightly. They own the gym chain after Kenma made a fortune doing what he loves and Kuroo was a good business partner. They’re like you and Mila, joint together. “I haven’t seen you guys around here in forever! What are you guys doing?”

“Monthly inspection at the gyms.” Kenma replies.

Kuroo spits and laughs. “There’s a band that this kid likes in town, so we decided to kill two birds with one stone.”

You think for a second. “Is it the Jaguars or something? Mila and I are going to that too, tonight.”

“It’s The Jackals,” Kenma corrects.

Kuroo points at Kenma then looks back at you. “Did you get reeled in because she said-”

“Taro was going to be there, yes I did.” You two laugh together. Kuroo introduced you to Taro, he’s very big and upcoming, but you assume The Jackals are too since so many people like them. “Do you guys wanna work out with me? Its leg day.”

The two of them cross their arms in an X and shake their heads. “Last time we did that, Kenma was bedridden, and my co-workers made fun of me, so no thank you Sweetie.”

You laugh and punch Kuroo’s shoulder, everyone at the orphanage called you a sweetheart, so Kuroo aptly nicknamed you Sweetie. “Alright you big babies, I’ll see you at the concert.” They wave goodbye and you get to work.

You pull up your workout playlist and decide to add some of The Jackals’s song that would fit your workout playlist. You add Hardest to Love, Starboy, When will I See You Again, and Gimme Love. The first song was upbeat and everything, but the message behind it was so sad. He’s singing how hard it must be to love him and he feels bad that the other person tries so hard and puts up a front to be with him. Obviously at the end, they eventually give up and he talks about how he knew this was going to happen.

Your heart clenches, but you continue to the next song. Starboy was even more upbeat that the last, but it was very accusatory. Like they were pointing a finger at someone and telling them ‘look what you did to me.’ You liked it.

When Will I See You Again was softer than the other two and it was sweet. Not as loud about their feelings as the other ones. It was just about holding someone close to them after them being away.

Then Gimme Love was about a relationship that was pretty doomed, but he can’t help but stay and try his best. He wants what they used to be, and even though it’s not good now, he can’t let go of them.

You listen to your regular playlist by Taro after you finish your squats and head to the leg press. You loved all his songs, but Psycho and Stay were your favorites, you just hoped he played them at his concert.

Once you finish up your workout its already 7pm. You head back home, eat dinner, and go shower again. You get ready in your concert clothes with your boots so your feet don’t die in the mosh. You also put on some makeup, jewelry, and perfume so you don’t smell too bad.

It’s 11pm once you finish and you rush out to get on the train. It’s about a 30-minute ride and you continue to listen to your Taro playlist, excited to see him so soon.

You get off on your stop and walk to the venue. It’s at an underground club in Chicago, they aren’t big artists yet, so the venues are smaller. You were there decently early, there were only about a handful of people so you grabbed a drink and sat at the bar.

You texted Mila to tell her were you were and she said she was leaving the club already. You texted Kuroo and he said they were driving and there was a crazy amount of traffic. So you just sat by yourself.

“Hey, can I get a blue moon.” The bartender cracks one open and hands it to him. “Thanks.”

You chuckle at the guy and he looks at you questioningly. “No orange?” You ask. Normally most people drink it with an orange.

He looks down at his drink and nods. “Didn’t feel like an orange kinda night.”

“I guess that’s fair.” You shrug and continue to sip on your drink.

“What about you, what are you drinking?”

You smile and nod your head. “Uh, sprite, ha.” The man chuckles.

He has a wonderful smile, you note, and his physique is quite impressive. “What are ya doin’ here so early? Big fan?”

“Um, my roommate told me to be here at midnight, so I like to be punctual.” You shrug

He nods in understanding and begins to take a seat next to you. “What’s yer name?”

You tell him. “You can just call me Sweetie. What about you?”

His eyes widen and you don’t know what you did wrong. “So, you came here, just for yer roommate, not cause you know the band that’s playin’ tonight?”

You shake your head. “I know Taro, and I just started listening to a few of the The Jackals’s songs today.”

He sets his beer down on the table and crosses his arms. “And which of their songs are yer favorite right now?”

You hum and think for a bit. “I think it’s Hardest to Love. I liked the openness of it. How he understands that he’s not easy to handle, but that he did love the person and he wishes he could have fixed it if only he knew how. I think it’s a pretty message and relatable. Shit happens, and you never know how to handle every situation.”

At the time you didn’t hear it, but he lets out a breath and then just smiles at you. “Wow, you really analyze songs a lot.”

You smile sheepishly and drink your soda. “I really like music, so I’m never opposed to listening to new artists.”

“That’s good to know.” He finishes the last of his beer and gets up. “I gotta run, but you enjoy the show.” You wave back about to ask for his name, but he’s already gone.

Not long after, Mila, Kuroo and Kenma show up. The four of you make your way to the front, and since you were there early, everything worked out. “Gahh I’m so excited Sweetie!”

“Me too! I’m so excited for Taro.” You and Kuroo fist bump and wait impatiently.

An MC comes out on stage to introduce. “How are all you gorgeous people doin’ tonight.” There’s a bunch of woo’s and yea’s coming from the crowd. “I won’t take up too much of your time, so first up we got Taro-” the crowd screams, you and Kuroo are among them. “Alright settle down, he’s performing four songs for you today. Then The Jackals will come in as your main set.”

Everyone claps and waits for the MC to finish. “Without further ado… make some noise for TARO!”

You and Kuroo are screeching, clapping your hands together. Taro comes out in some chains, a mesh shirt which has everyone going apeshit, sneakers, and a bucket hat. Everyone’s still screaming by the time he gets to the mic. “Alright, shut up you fucks.”

Everyone laughs and a few people scream ‘we love you Taro!’

He laughs into the mic and nods. “Yea I love you guys too. Now let’s get this going, what song are we thinking?”

Your mouth moves before you could even think. “PSYCHO!” You screech, but then get embarrassed after realizing how loud you were.

He laughs again, grabbing the mic off the stand and squats down in front of you. “Fitting, since you’re all a bunch of little psychos.” He rubs the top of your head with his hand and gets up. “Let’s get it.”

You die internally because holy shit, Taro touched you. You don’t have time to bask in it though because his number starts and you and Kuroo need to go crazy for it. He starts, “Yea my AP goin’ psycho…”

Taro’s numbers are to die for and everyone is having a great time. Before you know it, he’s on his last song of the night. “It’s been fun you guys, so let’s end it with Stay.”

You want to cry because that’s all you wanted. When he gets to the chorus, you and Kuroo yell, “but don’t count on me to stay!”

Taro finishes up and you’re sad to see him go. “Thank you Chicago! I’ll miss my hometown. We’ll see each other soon.” He winks at the crowd and you all cheer him off.

The MC comes back as the people behind him change up the set. “Alright, and our main set. Everyone, please welcome in The Jackals!” Mila is jumping and yelling while Kenma is just clapping, but he has this big smile on his face. You go to tie your shoes since someone stepped on your laces and undid them.

When The Jackals come up, the lead singer steps in front of the mic while the other three set up. “Hey everyone, if you don’t know,” you recognize the voice and you stand back up so quickly only to see the lead singer, the man you talked to at the bar looking down at you. “I’m Atsumu, the lead singer, that’s Shoyo on guitar, Kiyoomi on bass, and Kotaro on drums.” You stand unmoving, completely lost. How could you not know. “Now, I know we were gonna open with Starboy, but I’ve been convinced to start with Hardest to Love so enjoy this everyone.”

He smiles in your direction, and this does not go unnoticed by your roommate. “Sweetie, what in the hell happened.”

You stood there, still shocked. “All I did was make fun of his beer.”

Atsumu starts, “You try with me so many times…”

Regardless of anything, Atsumu had a wonderful voice that hit every note you could think of. High, low, whatever, he could do it. You didn’t know, but The Jackals knew he was showing off and just smirked to themselves.

Once he finishes he moves on. “Did you guys like that?” The crowd howls at him making him smile and chuckle. “We’ve got 8 more songs, let’s make this count, yea?” Everyone is excited and pumped up.

You try to enjoy the songs, but how can you when he’s looking at you so intensely. You decide to ignore it and have a fun time with your friends.

The last song comes up and it’s Cough Syrup, you haven’t listened to it so you decided to pay attention to the lyrics. It’s a great song, it helps slow down the fast tempo everyone was cheering at and is a great closing number. You make eye contact with Atsumu, a blush appears on your face but you refuse to look away.

Still, it doesn’t help that he’s looking at you with a grin on his face singing into the microphone. You can’t help it that he looks so incredibly attractive while doing it. It’s not your fault.

The music slows and Atsumu sings the last line, “One more spoon of cough syrup, now woah.” Everyone’s cheering and clapping while the band all gets on one knee and thanks everyone.

“Thank you Chicago, yer always my best crowd. Just tell Taro that yer all my hometown.” The crowd laughs and claps to the singer, he pushes his hair back with a hand, sweat prominent on his features. “Love ya.”

“We love you!” Everyone yells back at him. He smiles and waves goodbye, then everyone goes on their own way.

Atsumu is still there looking at you, he mouths to you ‘come backstage with your friends.’ You nod, unable to do anything else. “Hey guys, follow me.” They all do without question.

When you get to their room, there’s a man in front of the door. “You are?” He asks.

“Um, I’m y/n, Atsumu said to come back here.” He nods and opens the door for you. It’s all the band members sitting on the couch and Taro, except for Kiyoomi who’s in the shower.

“Sweetie! Hi.” He kisses the side of your cheek to welcome you and you’re taken aback, but don’t say anything of it. “Yer all her friends?”

Mila is frozen, her dreams coming true all at once. “Mila.” She says pointing to her self. The Jackals and Taro chuckle at her while Atsumu shakes Kuroo’s and Kenma’s hands.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” You say nodding your head in their direction.

Suna gets up and rubs your head. “You’re the psycho girl.”

“What?” Atsumu asks confused and your cheeks flush bright red.

“She asked me to play Psycho really loud. Good choice by the way.” You thank him for his music and Kuroo begins to engage in conversation with him.

Mila and Kenma somehow get talking to Shoyo and Kotaro in the meantime. “Cat got yer tongue?” Atsumu teases.

You roll your eyes, your previous nervousness fleeing, it’s just something about him. “Please, I was just feeling nervous.”

He chuckles at you. “Did ya like the show?”

“Yea, Taro was great, your voice broke a couple times though.” You tease back.

“What, there’s no way-” your laugh cuts him off and he pouts. “Not funny.”

You smile and pat his shoulder. “I think you did great, really. I liked all of the songs.” You’re staring at each other for too long and there’s just something there that you can’t deny.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, sending chills down your spine. “Would ya like to come over to my apartment?” You don’t want to get too attached to a singer, but you wouldn’t be opposed to it either. A night with him and maybe a little more doesn’t seem like a bad idea at all.

“Alright.” You smile.

Despite common stereotypes, Atsumu was a gentleman above all else. He made sure you were comfortable, gave your roommate his address in case she wanted to go check on you, and asked if you were alright all the time.

“If I wasn’t ok, I would’ve kicked you and ran away with your car.” He chuckles and continues to change the gear on his car. “What’s it’s name again.”

He revs the engine. “Aran.”

“Ohh, where’d you get that name from?” You ask.

Atsumu shifts in his seat a bit and comes to a stop at a red light. “My brother and I used to live in a pretty bad neighborhood, and Aran was our friend. He was older than us so he and another guy named Shin were like family to us along with Rintaro.” He sighs and puts the car into gear to drive. “Anyway, when we were 17 Aran joined the army to help support his family, but he ended up in a crossfire and passed away.”

There was a lump in your throat and you weren’t sure what to say. “I’m glad I got to meet one Aran then.”

You thought he was going to stare you down but he just laughed. “Me, too. He was awesome.”

“I didn’t really live in the greatest place either, lots of kids I knew went to join the army, but I never heard if they were ok.” You fiddle with your hands a bit.

He asks, “Where did you live?”

“I grew up in the orphanage not too far from the venue you were at. I met all my friends there. They kind of kick you out as soon as you’re 16.” You shrug.

“Damn.” Atsumu says. “What’ve you been doin’ since then.”

“Work to live?” The two of you chuckle. “I work at a strip club in the heart of Chicago, I’m a waitress. I can’t dance for shit.”

He laughs at you and you just smile. “That’s good, let me know where and I’ll visit ya sometime.”

“I’m honored that you would pay me such a visit.” You push his shoulder and the two of you laugh together in the car.

You’re about to go down a steep hill but stop at the top. “My apartment is just down there.” He points all the way at the bottom. “We’re gunning it down.”

“Atsumu no-”

“Atsumu yes.” He winks and before you can say anything, you’re rolling down the hill grabbing onto Atsumu’s arm for dear life, eyes locked on the downhill road. You’re yelling and Atsumu is just laughing at you before coming to a hard stop at his place. “We made it.”

You look at him, arms shaking. “I’m gonna kill you.”

He smiles and kisses your cheek. “Chin up, let’s go eat, I’m starvin’.” The small kiss takes you aback, but you hop out of the car and follow him. He holds out his hand and you take it. He leads you up the stairs and into his apartment. “Sorry it’s kinda a mess.” He scratches the back of his head.

There’s papers all over and instruments all over the place, even a picture of him and- “Did you photo shop that?” It was a picture of him and someone who looked just like him on a volleyball court with seven other people

He looks to the picture you point at and laughs. “No, that’s my brother, we’re twins.”

“I feel bad for your mom, you guys must’ve been a handful.” You smile.

Atsumu nods, placing pizza into the microwave, a small smile spreading on his face. “She was great though, never gave up on us.” He looks up and his face drops. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking-”

You hold up a hand and shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Single parents are badass.”

He agrees. “D’ya know anything about yer ma?”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t even know if I want to, you know? It’s been so long, knowing who she is now would just make me so angry.”

The microwave dings and he goes to grab the pizza. “Follow me.” He leads you up yet another flight of stairs, but once you get to a door, the cool Chicago breeze welcomes you and you find yourselves on the attic.

You take in the beautiful view that surrounds you. The lights overwhelmingly yellow and orange, cars driving by, trains, busses, and the beautiful sky, that due to the pollution, only the moon was visible. There were a few stars here and there, ones that never quit. “This is everything. I can’t go back home now that I’ve seen this.”

“Then don’t.” Atsumu shrugs taking a bite of his pizza, offering you a slice. You decline.

You and him sit across from each other on these lawn chairs looking at the sky. When he finishes his slice you turn to him. “Why did you want me to come with you.”

“The truth?” He asks. You nod. “I was really just lookin’ for a nice night, but after talkin’ to ya, I think it’d be safe to say I’m glad I met ya.” Why is it that you’ve only just met and he causes your heart to flutter like this. This was cosmic, you felt it in your bones, and whether or not Atsumu wanted to admit it, he knew that too. Knew that you would be someone special, someone he wouldn’t let himself have, but he ignored all that. “Why did you accept?”

You shrug. “Random hookup didn’t seem like a bad idea. I got swept away by your rocker singer persona or whatever.” He smiles at you and grabs a hold of your hand. You don’t want to ask if he’s looking for a relationship, because you’re scared of the answer. You want him to keep holding your hand just as he is. “Why did you become a singer?”

“It was actually my second dream.” You sit up and turn to face him. “I wanted to become a pro-volleyball player, but our school wasn’t well equipped with training to even get past the first round in a tournament. I didn’t want to burden my ma.”

“For what it’s worth, I think, maybe in another life, you’re doing just that.” He chuckles and squeezes your hand. “Is your dad not in the picture?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. He took off after our fourth birthday. He was shit dad for the time he was there anyway, so I’d like to say we were better off without him.” Atsumu pulls out his phone and plays a song on it. You haven’t heard it before, but you recognize his voice through the speakers. “Dance with me?”

You get up and place your hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand while he wraps his other one securely around your waist. “Which one of your songs is this?”

“Slow Dancing in the Dark. Bokuto wrote it, his boyfriend and him were really goin’ through it at the time.” The two of you dance around the roof. He places you on the ledge and lets you jump onto him as he spins you in his arms.

You laugh and sway with him again. “You’re quite the charmer. You do this with a lot of girls?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, most of them don’t talk to me as much as you have.” He smiles.

“I like how open you are.” You blurt out, but it’s already out there. “I dunno, it just makes other people more comfortable to be real with you.”

“I never got anything from being a liar. I guess that’s just how I am. How do you get me to talk so much Sweetie? You haven’t talked much about yerself.”

“You haven’t asked.” You teased and he places you on his lap as you sit back down.

“What’s yer dream Sweetie?” He smiles and keeps you guys moving.

You hum and just wonder if maybe it was too deep to share, but he’s been so honest with you, you feel like you could tell him. “To have a family of my own. To never abandon them and make sure they know I love them with all my heart.”

“That’s a pretty dream.” You smile and rest your head on his shoulder, you two dance till the music stops.

You wake up the next morning next to Atsumu on his bed. Memories from the night hit you like a bus and you want to squeal. He was sweet all the way through. You try to gather your thoughts but it was all scrambled with the fact that you slept with the lead singer of a band. You gotta cross that off a list somewhere.

Atsumu moves and he wakes up, looking at you holding the sheets up to your chest. “Mornin’.” He greets and you mutter a small hi as you shrink into the bed. “Ah, don’t be shy now. I’m gonna go make breakfast.”

You pull a shirt of his and some boxers out to wear and you make your way to the kitchen. He sees you come in and smiles while turning his head to the side. “I hope you don’t mind.” You refer to the stolen clothes.

He waves you off and continues to cook up some wonderful breakfast. “How d’ya like yer eggs?”

“Scrambled please.” He smiles cooking that right up. “How’d you become such a great cook.”

“My brother owns a restaurant.”

You nod. “Yea, I think he’d be disappointed if you didn’t know how to cook.” The two of you chuckle together and he places the egg on your plate.

“Any plans today?”

You think for a moment before groaning. “Yea, Mila and I work from 6pm to 1am today.”

Atsumu perks his head up and smiles. “I’ll bring the guys then, visit you on the job.��

You laugh and agree. “Ok, I’ll see you there then.”

The two of you eat breakfast together before he drops you off at your house, still in his clothes. “See ya later tonight.” He winks, and all you can do is smile and wave as he drives off. Before you can turn back around, Mila pulls you inside and up the stairs.

She sits you down on the couch and stares at you. “Alright, explain.”

“Well, he was really nice, we danced, talked and… well you know, then he made me breakfast and drove me back here, oh and he’s coming to our job later with his friends.” You tell.

Her mouth is stuck wide open, unable to move. “Oh my- how do you do that. Well now I’m nervous to go to work. I think he likes you y/n.”

“I don’t think that’s what he’s looking for Mila.” You get up and head to your room.

She laughs and shakes her head. “Well someone better tell him you don’t dance and be all sweet to your friends with benefits.”

“I don’t think that’s exactly what this is either.” You say.

“Well then it’s a big fat fucking ‘it’s complicated’.” She throws her hands up mumbling to herself about what to wear.

You’d hate to admit it, but you think that’s exactly what this is.

Nevertheless you got ready for your day with Mila. It wasn’t too crowded yet, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t antsy for Atsumu and the rest of them to show up. Mila picked up on it really quick.

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the door looking at it like that.” She quips

Your shoulders sag a little. “Am I that obvious?” You ask her.

“Only to me, Sweetie.” She pinches your cheeks before carrying her tray to her table.

Somewhere during your conversation a new table was sat, and when you went to wait on them you locked eyes with a familiar blonde. Your whole body relaxed, and Atsumu turned to you, a warmth spread throughout his body. Whatever was happening between the two of you was happening fast, and even though Atsumu knew he couldn’t give you more, he was selfish and wanted to have you if not just for another day.

He smiles charmingly at you when you get to the table. “Hello boys.”

“Hi Sweetie,” they all wave to you: Kotaro, Shoyo, and Kiyoomi. Atsumu grabs your hand and kisses it looking up at you. He was taking in the lovely corset you had on with the fishnets.

You blushed deeply, but it was hidden by the bright and colorful lights in the club. “What can I do for you boys?” They give you their orders which you take diligently to the bar.

“See, they got here.” Mila snickers and waves at them from behind the bar. “Let me help you with the drinks.”

The two of you finish them quickly and walk over to drop them on the table. Before you’re able to say anything you feel a quick slap on your ass. Your whole body freezes up and you turn to see a very drunk customer. “No touching,” you seethe.

Mila turns as well, standing next to you as help. “Mmm no, I don’t think that’s what you should say.” The guy walks right up to you and grabs your arm. Immediately another arm shoots out to grab his.

“Hey,” Atsumu says cooly grinning with mal intent. “Why don’t you let go of her arm yea?”

The guy is displeased and raises an arm to which Atsumu’s friends respond quickly by getting up, but he was stopped by Earl, one of the security workers. “Are you alright Sweetie and Mila?”

Mila nods. “Yea this guy needs to go, he’s touching.” She huffs and Earl nods.

“Don’t worry he’ll be gone soon.” Earl disappears with the man out the door and you let out a breath.

“Are you okay?” Atsumu asks, his jaw tight.

You nod breathing in. “Yea, it comes with the job. Earl and Riley are really good at kicking them out if need be.” You smile. “Sit down and relax, don’t worry too much about me.”

“Well that’s not possible.” Atsumu murmurs, but you are already halfway back to the bar with Mila.

“You’re sick Atsumu.” Shoyo says.

Atsumu turns to his bandmate with a wary look. “Huh?”

Kotaro nods in agreement with the guitarist. “You got it bad Atsumu.”

“She’s good. Really good.” Shoyo adds again.

He ignores them and changes the subject. Kiyoomi and the rest of them understand he’s deflecting because he likes you too, but he can’t be with you. He won’t let himself be with you, and that’s exactly what they want him to see, that he can.

Regardless of his distaste for their probing, Atsumu gets his notepad out and scribbles down some lyrics. “You really brought that with you?” Kiyoomi asks pointedly.

Atsumu rolls his eyes at his friend. “I bring it everywhere. I don’t know why you’re surprised. The boys begin conversing about their next upcoming show but Atsumu is watching you. He watches you laugh with Mila and charm the customers that come up to you.

He hasn’t felt this sense of comfort in a long time, but watching you is inspiring in itself. He nudges Bokuto to get his attention. “What’s up?”

“Can you help me with this? I think it’s good.” He refers back to the notepad where he has the title of the song written.

Bokuto hums looking over the lyrics. “Locked Out of Heaven? Sounds good.” He doesn’t comment and how he talks so vividly about you. Even though he hasn’t said it, Bokuto knows. “Instead of cause you got me feelin like to cause you make me feel like, good?”

The two of them fix up some of the wording in the song meanwhile Shoyo called over one of the girls to dance for Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi is glaring at Hinata, but doesn’t shoo the girl away, he’s a gentlemen of course.

Eventually your shifts are up and you come back out wearing some sweats and a hoodie. “All done.” You smile.

Atsumu looks at you with wonder as he takes in your clothes. “No corset? I think I like a girl in uniform.”

“I’m off the clock, mister.” You say teasingly before walking ahead of him and the others following. “What do you want to do?”

He hums stepping closer to you. “Do you like Just Dance?”

Over the course of the next month or so you and Atsumu grew much closer and he released Locked Out of Heaven. While you had a sneaking suspicion it was about you, you never said anything.

You, Mila, Kuroo, and Kenma still attended all of their concerts and the crowds kept getting bigger with each passing show. Atsumu lit up the stage, he was a performer, a great one and he captured everyone’s attention. You really couldn’t help but look at him with stars in your eyes every time.

However, you were getting tired of not understanding where the two of you stood. It frightened you how much you liked Atsumu, how much you could envision him in your future. It scared you not knowing if he thought of you like you thought of him.

That’s why you were standing outside his apartment and knocking on the door. He answered quickly and leaned on the door frame. “Hi Sweetie,” he kissed your cheek letting you in. “This is a nice surprise.”

When he closes the door you mumble a hello, but your nerves are at an all time high. He notices something is up and asks, but he already doesn’t like this feeling. To him, the point of not being in a relationship was to not feel this way. Like he was close to fighting with you and losing. “I just... I have a question.” You say looking up at him. “What am I... to you? Do you think about me?”

“I think about you a lot.” He admits, whether he wanted to or not. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just that I think about you all the time. I want you, all the time. More so, I just want to know that you’re with me, that you want me the same way I want you.” Atsumu recoils back from your admission like you shot him.

He shakes his head. “I’m confused.”

You throw your hands up a little frustrated. “I want you Atsumu. In every single way possible. I want your clothes at my apartment, I want to keep an extra toothbrush here. I want to go on dates with just you and me not in the house, I just want to hold your hand and I want to be together... officially together. I love-” You can barely get it out, but when you look at Atsumu’s face the words die on your lips. “What?”

“No.” He says sternly. “I never- when did you ever get the idea that that’s what this was?”

Your chest hurts in the worst possible way. This is not the way you expected this to turn out. “You can’t look at me the way you do and not expect me to think you love me too.”

Atsumu runs a hand through his hair and looks equally as upset as you are right now. “No you’re completely off the mark. This- this is not what that is. You need to get your delusions in check.”

You scoff getting angrier as the seconds pass. “It’s not delusions when even your friends say the same thing.”

His head shoots up at you. “What the fuck did they say to make you think that?”

“That they’ve never seen you happier, that you seem lighter and like you’re finally able to let someone love you instead of thinking you can’t.” You spit out at him.

“Well they fucking lied to you.” He grits.

You shake your head. “You’re insane Atsumu. I know you love me too. Why is it such a fucking problem for you to admit that?”

“Because it’s not fucking true, Sweetie. I don’t know how you deluded yourself into that-”

“Don’t call me fucking crazy, I’m not fucking crazy.” You stand up from the couch and walk over to him. “You can’t touch me the way you do and look at me like you do and say you don’t care about me. I won’t let you lie straight to my fucking face.”

“I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want this. I don’t want the expectations that come with this.”

It grabs your attention as you laugh humorlessly. “Yea Atsumu, I expect you to love me fucking back, that’s so much to ask for though with you isn’t it.”

He buries his hands in his hair ruffling it. “This is exactly what I’m talkin’ about! I don’t want this fighting, we’re not even together, shit. We’re not together!”

“I think I understand that very well. Why won’t you let me love you Tsum?” You whisper.

“Because I don’t fucking want it, I don’t want you, I don’t want an us, I’ve made myself pretty fucking clear.”

“Loud and clear. Especially when I’ve just admitted that I love you and you throw shit in my face.” You retort.

He sighs, “Shut up Sweetie, please.”

“The day I do is the day I stop caring about you, Atsumu.” He’s frustrated because he doesn’t know how to explain this to you and he doesn’t want to.

“Just go. Just fucking leave.”

“I’m not leaving this goddamn apartment until you tell me you don’t love me!” You say, tired and desperate. “Do you love me Atsumu?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t wantcha to love me.”

You recoil and cross your arms. “But do you love me, please? I don't think that’s much to ask.”

He doesn’t have it in him to say it, but he cannot stand you to be here a second longer. “News flash, Sweetie. It’s not that hard to not fall in love with you. You should have learned that by now.” He went real low, even knows it from the way your face falls and you lose the fight you had in you. His chest tightens from the look you give him. “The door is right fuckin’ there. I didn’t think you were so dense, fuck!”

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that!” You yell back. “All I wanted Atsumu-” you choke on a sob. “All I really wanted, was to know that someone fucking loved me for once.” You say as a whisper. “And that-” you sniffle, wiping your tears, “that you knew loving you isn’t a chore, it was a goddamn fairy tale. Even now. Even as you push me away and tell me you hate me, I still love you.” You leave, deciding that Atsumu isn’t hard to love at all, but he makes it hard to stay.

When the door shuts and he can no longer hear your footsteps, Atsumu throws the remote control at his wall. “Fuck!”

You don’t hear from him since then, and Mila had her work cut out for her. Knowing that the singer from her favorite band did this to her best friend is something she wouldn’t stand for.

She blocked all of their numbers from both of your phones. Even though the other boys didn’t do anything she had to be extra sure he had no way of contacting you. Kuroo and Kenma were let in on the whole thing too.

As you nursed your broken heart Mila held onto you as you tried to explain what he said, and that really solidified her hatred for the man. “That is not true Sweetie. I’ll love you till the day I die.” She kissed the top of your head as you cried yourself to sleep.

Kuroo and Kenma visited too and she let them in on what happened. “Why would he-”

“I have no idea. I think he just wanted to hurt her, because I don’t believe for one second that he wasn’t in love with her.” The three of them nod in agreement as they witnessed Atsumu with you first hand. “He’s just a fucking idiot.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Kiyoomi chimes in after listening to Atsumu’s rant about what happened with you weeks ago. They all asked where you had went, and with enough probing they got it out of him.

Atsumu looks shocked. “She’s delusional.”

Bokuto shakes his head. “She would be if she wasn’t right. She’s right, Atsumu and in your heart of hearts I know you know that. I know you know that you’re also in love with her.”

The singer groans. “Not you guys too.”

“I think you’re just in denial because then you would have to face the fact that you treated her disgustingly awful.” Kiyoomi says. “For some unknowing reason she fell in love with you. I think this is where your luck runs out Atsumu, because you’re never going to meet someone like that again.”

All of them are shocked at how much Kiyoomi was saying all at once. He normally was quiet, but you and the bassist developed a nice friendship, which was saying a lot for Sakusa.

“He’s not wrong Atsumu.” Hinata breaks the silence. “The quicker you realize that, then the faster you can beg for her forgiveness, because I don’t think you’ll get her back with anything less.”

The boys get up to set up their instruments leaving Atsumu in their dressing room to wonder how he got here in the first place. He felt so many things all at once and he turned to his notepad, because he couldn’t express himself in any other way.

He performed with group and charismatic as he may be, they noticed how off he was. At one point during the show he slipped up the lyrics to one of the songs. “Shit...” he laughs it off. “Maybe I’m just a little fucked up guys I’m sorry.” The crowd cheers him on regardless, but he finds himself looking for your face. A glimpse of it somewhere, and the disappointment burns him in a way he has never experienced.

Once the set finishes he goes back to his notepad, ignoring the stares his friends give him. He looks at Bokuto with a knowing look. The drummer sits down and pats his back. “What do you need help with?”

The two of them get to writing together, although it was mostly Atsumu’s words Bokuto helped clean it up. Atsumu was always good at understanding his emotions when they were on a piece of paper, but how could he go after what he really wanted. Every relationship he ever had crashed and burned, just like yours did and it didn’t even have a label on it.

But that was his mistake.

You were never just going to be another girl to him. He loved you more than he cared to admit. So much that it ached. So much that he couldn’t bear how fast his heart beat around you and he had to burn you too. He was most definitely the problem.

You just wanted an unconditional love, and he did love you, but could he love you the way you deserved? Was it fair that he decided these things for you? Probably not.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to get you to meet with him. After what he said he wouldn’t want to either, but he picked up his phone and tried to call. “The number you’re trying to reach...” Yea. He should’ve expected that one.

He tried Mila’s and the same thing happened. The same thing would happen with your other friends’ numbers. “Shit.” He clicks his tongue but then turns his attention to Kiyoomi. “Hey, Omi-”

“Don’t even try.” He said tuning his bass not even looking up. “She’s blocked all of us, all of them did. Not that I really blame her.”

Atsumu nods, but decides this is just a little bump in the road. He needs to plan everything anyway, it would be silly to ask for you back without one. He needed to plan.

Over the next few days he booked a venue, the same one you met at. He donated what he could to the orphanage you grew up in. In the hopes that the children live a little better than you did. He doesn’t really plan on telling you that one.

It was difficult for him, the band was in the middle of a life changing contract, but his priorities were set for the first time in his life. He pleads his bandmates to help him, and they accept because you deserve to have a choice on whether or not you get to be with the person you love.

He goes to the strip that you work out and hopes to run into you, but he’s met with Mila, a more formidable opponent. She looks up with a smile to greet the new customer, but when she sees him her face drops. “You’ve got about ten seconds to get out before I ask Riley to do it.”

“I just need two minutes.” He asks.

“You don’t deserve any.” She cleans the glasses in front of her not looking at it. “I mean it.”

Atsumu nods. “I know. I know I don’t, but listen to me and if you don’t want to after that then I’ll leave.”

She looks skeptical but relents. You deserve the choice to be with him or not. Not that she believes he deserves it. “Two minutes. Starting now.”

“I didn’t mean it.” He says sheepishly. “Any of it and if I could take it back I would. I-” He huffs out a breath, wishing he could talk to you. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I did with her, and I know that she deserved more than I could offer, but I do want her.” His fists clench trying to get out the right words. “I want her more than I have wanted anything, and it scared me and I fucked up I know, but I- well... I love her. Whether I deserve to or not I do. And by some miracle she loves me too... or did.”

Atsumu shakes his head to get back on track, Mila’s full attention is on him as he slips her a flyer and four tickets. “If you could get her to come to this show... I’d owe you everything, regardless of what happens I just don’t want to lie to her anymore.”

Mila peaks at it and watches him leave as he doesn’t wait for her answer. “Fuck.” She mutters. “I hate being a good fucking person.” She snatches the tickets and puts them in her bag.

When she gets home you’re cleaning the house again, something you’ve been doing to keep your mind busy. Mila sets down the take out as she comes to sit on the couch.

“Sweetie guess what.” You pick your head up to look at her. “Taro is coming to town again.”

Your shoulders slump a little and you shrug. “I don’t know, I don’t really want to go.”

“Pleaseeeeee.” She whines. “Kuroo bought us all tickets, he’s the main event. Some randos are opening for him it’ll be fun I promise.” You don’t really know how fun it would be to go back to the place that reminds you of him entirely.

“I’m just not sure it would be good for me.” You say lowly.

Her heart breaks for you, but she is hard to deter. “I promise just this once, if you don’t like being there within the first hour we can go home. Promise.”

In the end, you end up agreeing and Mila fills the boys in on the plan. When Friday hits you all get ready at your apartment Kuroo and Kenma waiting with anticipation.

“You look great Sweetie.” Kuroo coos teasingly and your face heats up.

“I will kill you.” You joke.

Kenma looks up questioningly. “Doubtful.” It earns a small laugh from you which brings a smile to his face.

The four of you make your way to the venue and when you recognize the building of your old home you twitch in discomfort. You don’t voice it though, agreeing to stick it out the hour. Mila is in front and hands the bouncer your tickets while you walk ahead.

It is decently packed, but you wonder why he chose a small venue again with the publicity he has gotten over the month.

“I’m sorry Sweetie, but I’m also not sorry.” Mila smiles, and before you can ask her what she means the lights turn off and you can’t see. Your heart rate picks up, but it slows when the lights of the stage turn on, but the calm is short lived when you see him and the rest of the band on the stage.

“Hi everyone.” Atsumu waves and tries to find you in the crowd. “Now, I’ve recently written a new song yea? It’s the last one of the night.” The crowd howls with excitement and Atsumu loves the thrill it gives him, but he’s still just looking for you, he made sure you would get here for the last one. “My brothers obviously helped me produce it. It explains what words couldn’t, and I wish I was better at expressin’ myself than I actually am. I’m pretty shit at it.” He chuckles into the mic, his voice sending a chill down your spine when his eyes meet yours. “This is Leave Before You Love Me, everyone.”

Your heart is beating so fast that you barely paid attention to the first verse, but the chorus hits you like a truck and reminds you of your first meetings with Atsumu.

'Cause my wheels are rolling Ain't taking my foot off the gas And it only took the one night To see the end of the line Staring deep in your eyes, eyes

You remember when he sent it down the hill near his apartment. How you held onto him and regardless of how nervous you were you felt safe as long as he was there.

Dancing on the edge, 'bout to take it too far It's messing with my head, how I mess with your heart If you wake up in your bed, alone in the dark I'm sorry, gotta leave before you love me

The rest of the song plays out and you wrap your arms around yourself for some sense of comfort. Your friends notice it and huddle around you to try to ease the listen.

When the final chorus plays theres cheers all around you, and you can’t seem to move from your spot even as Atsumu smiles at you and gestures for you. Mila grabs your hand and you turn to her. “If you want we can leave right now and never come back.”

You shake your head. “No... I want- I want to know what he has to say.”

She nods and leads you to the back. The rest of the band greets you while you can barely mutter a hello. They all leave you with him, Mila squeezes your hand before she also heads out.

Atsumu had a whole bunch he wanted to say, but he wasn’t so sure any of it did justice to you. He slowly walks up to you and places his hands gently on your face to have you look at him. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

“You were so mean.” You whisper.

He nods. “I know. I didn’t mean it. Any of it. I know that doesn’t make it better, but that’s the truth.” He sighs as he runs a hand through your hair. “I just thought I shouldn’t lie to you anymore. I want you. More than I ever that I could and that was so fucking scary. But you didn’t deserve that at all. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I wasn’t so terrible all the time-”

You shake your head. “You’re not terrible Atsumu, just delusional, to think that you don’t care about me.”

“I love you.” Your throat closes up and you’re not sure what to say after that. “I think I’ve loved you from the moment I’ve met you. You’re everything, Sweetie. Everything I don’t deserve and everything I shouldn’t have.” He places his forehead against yours. “But it wasn’t fair of me to not give you a choice, because you should have one and I took that from you.”

“I’m always going to choose you, Atsumu.” Fresh tears make their way to your eyes as you take in a shaky breath. “But everything isn’t going to magically be better just because you’ve realized this. What if we get into a disagreement and you blow up on me. I can’t survive it again.”

He nods understanding your concern. “I’ve been going to therapy.” Your head shoots up almost knocking his nose. “I know, long overdue. It’s easy to tell myself you should be with someone better, but I want to try to be that for you. To be someone deserving of your kindness,” he kisses your cheek. “Deserving of your love. Although I don’t think I ever will, I want to get as close as I can.”

You laugh at his statement. “You were always enough for me, Atsumu, but I’m glad you’re getting help.” You take a deep breath before going on. “It’s not always going to be easy.”

“I know.”

“I might get frustrated with you.”

“I know.”

“You might get frustrated with me.”

“I know.”

“But I think as long as we’re honest and truly love each other...” You trail off. “I think we could make it.”

“I’ll always pick you. There is no other choice for me.”

You smile brushing your lips against his, feeling relaxed in his hold. “We go slow this time.”

“Whatever you want. We’ll do. I just want to be able to hold you.”

“It was a great song.” You add.

He nods kissing your forehead. “It was about a great person. That and Locked Out of Heaven.”

You laugh under your breath. “I knew it.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes playfully looking down at you. “Assume from this day forward that every song, every word, every thought, and every breath I breathe is about you.”

You can’t top that so you quietly retreat into his arms, safe and loved. “I want lots of kids.”

“We’ll have all the kids you want. I’ll have fun trying.”

The two of you laugh together before taking a moment to join your friends again who by the looks of it are happy for you. “Don’t mess up this time Atsumu.” Kiyoomi warns.

You walk up to the bassist and give him a hug, you do this with all of them. “I missed you guys.”

You all walk out together and you get into Atsumu’s car so he could take you back to his apartment. It’s quiet on the ride back but he holds your hand the entire time.

When you get there he immediately takes you to the roof. “Bo and I made this new song not too long ago. It’s called Die for You.”

He plays the song on his speaker and takes a hold of your hand dancing with you like he did that very first night. “You always have beautiful penmanship.”

He smiles shyly. “Trying to get that into actual words.”

“I believe in you.” You rest your head on his shoulder and sway with him.

You’re not sure how long you stay there dancing for, but you really wouldn’t have minded staying till the morning, and Atsumu wouldn’t have either.

Atsumu is not hard to love. Not in the slightest, and he’s starting to believe that for the first time in a long time.

A/N: I hope this isn’t too bad LMAO

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