#bokuto fic
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🗗 REFUSING TO RECOGNIZE THEM WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
FT. oikawa, kuroo, atsumu, akaashi, bokuto
W. mentions of drinking
AN. reposting :( i only found one taglist, i'll add the second one when i do :(
OIKAWA!
offended because he's your boyfriend and you refuse to recognize him. it's just a series of 'y/n i'm your boyfriend,' and 'no, you're not. my boyfriend is prettier,' he's literally suffering because it's getting late and people keep giving him weird looks. tries to convince you using pictures in his phone but still no avail because, "listen mister, i know how photoshopping works." is all you say, paying no attention to his words. finally gives up and helps you sober up a bit before you recognize him and you both leave after two hours of constant suffering. literally tells you not to use your brain when you're drunk because the photoshopping move took him away.
KUROO!
finds it interesting and decides to play along. says "your boyfriend doesn't have to know," with his famous shit eating grin, however, is taken aback as you gasp and slap his hand away from you. kuroo is happy that even in the lack of soberness, you won't go with any other man but at this point, it's getting too much and he's just exhausted. says something like, "let's go home, y/n," and grabs your hand, only to get punched in the face. he hopes his nose isn't broken. takes you home once you realize that he's your boyfriend because "you both look a little too similar— oh, tetsu?!" you're a little too late, y/n. please buckle up because you aren't hearing a end of this anytime soon and kuroo is the type to hold grudges <3
ATSUMU!
so fucking embarrassed because you just said, "i will report you for sexual assault," a little too loud and the people around are now sending him glares. as much as he loves you, he might really be regretting some decisions and the one to let you drink alone is on the top of the list. had to clarify using pictures on his phone and other things before someone calls cops on him. for some reason you remember osamu even when you're wasted ( which he's still offended about ) and call him to help you get home. you wouldn't stop saying things like, "samu, who is this weird man? where is tsum?" and it pains him physically.
AKAASHI!
tired. it's late night and he wants to sleep so bad. doesn't take shit from anyone, just picks you up and walks out. ( akaashi is very capable of that, i know ) definitely gets weird stares about it but no one really questions since you aren't opposed to his actions. if you don't recognize him, he washes you face until you get a minimum hold of yourself. turns out you actually recognized him a while later and apologize to him the next morning. he doesn't let you drink alone ever again. kinda salty that you didn't try to stop him when he picked you up because it could've been anyone else. just be ready for a lecture.
BOKUTO!
in tears, honestly. it's not like you accidently hit him or anything. you're not even listening to him. he's the sitting beside you, begging you to come with him while you keep rambling about how amazing and hot your boyfriend is. and as much as he likes compliments, he clearly doesn't appreciate them at 2 am when you refuse to recognize him. "y/n, let's go home," — "you know, kou used to call me that," — "that's because it's your name?!" — yeah you have this moment with him and it kills you the next morning because you remember everything. when he asks you to come home a little too firmly, you glare at him and refuse, saying that you already have a boyfriend, he's not sure if he should be happy or crying. finally you pass you and he takes you home, sigh <3
taglist in the rbs.
#prod. — caelin.#album. — haikyuu.#haikyuu x reader#oikawa x reader#kuroo x reader#bokuto x reader#akaashi x reader#atsumu x reader#haikyuu fic#oikawa fic#kuroo fic#bokuto fic#atsumu fic#haikyuu fluff#kuroo fluff#atsumu fluff#bokuto fluff#akaashi fluff#oikawa fluff
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「Making out with Haikyuu boys」
⤷ Bokuto
he loves messy kisses where he can show all his love and need for you. runs his hands over you, from your thighs up and down your back. he loves to bite your bottom lip just to see a reaction from you. he likes to control the direction of the kiss, sometimes even taking your hands and putting them around his neck, or just pulling you into his lap.
⤷ Kuroo
he likes to tease you; it starts with soft, sweet kisses and quickly turns into deep, passionate kisses. he likes to pull away just to see you searching his lips, needing him. he likes to put you on his lap so that you are impossibly close; you feel the heat of his body as he kisses you passionately, squeezing and stroking your body as if that’s the last thing he’s going to do. he also likes to bite and suck your bottom lip and smile against you when you gasp against him.
⤷ Atsumu
you held his cheek so gently and leaned in, placing a tender kiss on his lips, looking at him passionately and giving him a sweet smile, and that’s what drove him crazy. he feels his heart racing and butterflies appear in his stomach. he would then pull you back to sit on his lap and he would kiss you again and again and again until you were pulling away breathlessly. smiling at each other, he puts his hand in your hair and caresses the back of your neck with one hand while the other glides down your body before pulling you into a passionate kiss again.
⤷ Osamu
one of his main goals is to get a reaction from you. he knows your every weak spot and every thing you love him to do and he will do anything just to hear you moan or gasp against him. he loves to kiss your neck or jaw, run his hands over your body, pull you against him so you can feel him… he knows how to leave you on cloud nine.
⤷ Oikawa
he likes to get between your legs while giving you a few teasing kisses everywhere but your mouth, just so he can see you ask him for what you both want. he knows your weaknesses and likes to use them against you just to see your reaction and teasingly say “do you like that, love?” “do you want me to do it again?” he manages to stay in charge only for a while because you are his weak point and, when he least expects it, he is completely surrendered and obsessed with you; needing your touch and your taste more than anything.
⤷ Nishinoya
loves it when he can kiss you against a wall, leaning in and pecking your lips sweetly before you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer, biting his bottom lip. always pulls back to gently brush some hair from your face with a loving, teasing look in his eyes.
⤷ Kenma
his kisses and caresses start off shy but affectionate; leaving light kisses on your lips, stroking your thigh with his thumb before finally kissing you again with more passion. his lips are soft against yours, sweet in a way that makes you wish this moment would never pass. he takes your cheek in his hand and strokes it gently with his thumb. he likes to leave kisses on your jaw and neck and hide his face in your neck and smile because, like you, he never wants this moment to end.
⤷ Suna
lazy making out with him is a favorite. you could be lying in bed together, watching a movie when he starts spraying kisses all over your cheek/neck. soon the movie is forgotten as all your attention is focused on his lips and the way his hands touch you so needy and loving. your hand is on his cheek while you kiss him deeply but slowly.
⤷ Sakusa
loves to kiss your neck. his lips would run down from your lips to your jaw, then your neck, his tongue peeking out to lick the skin teasingly, sometimes nipping at it. soft whispers of “you are so beautiful” between kisses, little sighs when he leaves hickeys on your skin. he always smiles and buries his face in your neck afterwards, just enjoying the warmth of your body.
⤷ Hinata
his intentions in the beginning were innocent; just a sweet kiss on your lips and a squeeze on your waist as a show of affection. but when he least expects it, he’s on top of you on the couch; you sliding your arms around his neck as you deepen the kiss. him running his hands over your body, leaving light grips and soft caresses as he moves his body against yours, making you gasp against him. his lips moving in a slow, passionate rhythm as he likes to take his time making out.
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagine#bokuto x reader#bokuto imagine#bokuto fic#kuroo x reader#kuroo imagine#kuroo fic#atsumu x reader#atsumu imagine#atsumu fic#osamu x reader#osamu imagine#osamu fic#nishinoya x reader#nishinoya imagine#nishinoya fic#oikawa x reader#oikawa imagine#oikawa fluff#kenma x reader#kenma imagine#kenma fic#suna x reader#suna imagine#suna fic#sakusa x reader#sakusa imagine#sakusa fic#hinata x reader
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dumbasses (lol)
bokuto x reader
"Are you in a hurry somewhere?"
"No, I have time, especially for you." He smiled so sweetly you almost had a toothache.
"You're too sweet to me." You ducked your head, unable to look him in the eyes.
"Of course I am. Is it a problem?" He said, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. His hand rested on your cheek.
"Of course it's a problem," You grabbed the hand that was currently caressing your cheek, and you look at him with an expression that was filled with both apprehension and anticipation. "Kou- what are we?"
You held his hand tightly, not wanting to let go until he gives you a proper answer.
"What do you mean? We're... um... dating?" He said, the last word coming out hesitant and unsure.
What?
"Dating? You haven't even asked me out!"
"I haven't?"
"You haven't!"
"Then, um," he cleared his throat. The butterflies in your stomach acting up again. Is he actually-? "Will you go out-"
"Yes!" You threw yourself at him. You've waited too long for this.
#💀💀💀💀#coming out from my 7 month long hiatus with a drabble i made in like 30 mins#haikyuu x reader#fics#haikyuu fic#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto koutaro#bokuto kotaro#bokuto fluff#bokuto imagines#bokuto x reader#bokuto fic#msby bokuto#bokuto hcs#hq bokuto#bokuto koutarou#bokuto koutaro x y/n#bokuto x y/n#bokuto drabble#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu
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Love Galore
pairing: kuroo tetsuro x f!reader x bokuto koutsro
chapter summary: an introspective view of the story's events from the beginning — through the eyes of Akaashi Keiji
wc: 19.2k+ [jfc i really am so sorry]
a/n: thank you to those that have stuck by me and this story, despite my hiatus. i truly appreciate every single person that's ever read a single word of LG, or left lovely messages/comments, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. i worked on this chapter, little by little every day, and i promise i never stopped thinking about you guys. i kept thinking it was done, but apparently i had a lot to say haha. this still isn't the end, but please enjoy the chapter, i've worked really hard on it and i hope you like it :) your love and support mean the world to me, xoxo
Masterlist
chapter 14 ✧ souffle pancakes
Akaashi doesn’t say much, but he sees it all.
It was a habit that he’s had for as long as he could remember, practically born with. Practically second nature, it seems, for him to keep a keen and sharp eye on his surroundings, making mental notes until it’s all piled up and cluttered into his brain. He’s been called many things in his short life. Observant. Perspective. Attentive. Psychic. Genius. Creepy.
Akaashi prefers to just be called Keiji.
Most of the time, he thinks it’s a blessing.
When he was younger, he’d impress all the old ladies in his neighborhood with his mindless comments.
Have you lost weight?
That’s a new jacket isn’t it, oba-san?
Oh, that must be a different perfume you’re wearing today.
Comments that sounded adorable coming from a child, when all the others in his age range could barely notice if they were even wearing matching shoes.
Sometimes, he’s thankful. It was what got him so far in the sport he loved, after all. His ability to see things others usually just brush to the side — how an opponent grits his teeth and flexes his jaw right before he jumps up for the spike, or the directions their eyes tend to flicker to right before they pass the ball. How the twitch of their lip meant anger and annoyance, or the restless running around the court showing impatience.
Akaashi sees it all – each bit of information sorted into the compartments in his mind, saving it for when he needs to make his move. This wasn’t something inherent – it was a skill he only learned with time, through trials and errors until his mind became a well-oiled machine. Eventually, it’d become difficult for anyone to escape the sharpness of Akaashi’s eyes, and it’s a skill he’s always used to his own benefit.
If that player’s angry, it will be easy to bait him. If he’s impatient, then it’s just a matter of time before he makes a mistake. And Akaashi will be right there waiting.
It was easily applicable outside of the court as well.
In the hallways of school, he’d learned to ignore the giggles and whispers in his wake. Making friends was simple, almost effortless. An off-handed comment about someone’s new haircut, bringing his classmates snacks and drinks as if he had just accidentally bought too much at the convenience store – not a single person thinking twice at the fact that he’d miraculously gotten all their favorites.
Akaashi was the guy that would notice if you were wearing different nail polish, or if the charms on your backpack were different, would note if you’ve started a new sport or were talking about that new drama just a little bit more often – and he’d say a something that could be compliment, with only a few words at best, but it was enough for you to note that he was paying attention.
In his second year of junior high, he’d even become quite the hot topic among the girls in his class, because somehow he could always tell who had a crush on who. They’d flock around his desk like vultures, picking at whatever bits and scraps they could get from his carcass until he had no choice but to throw them a bone.
If you get this bread for Yagi-kun, he’ll really like it.
Arakawa-san told me he likes girls with short hair.
Toku-san studies in the library on Wednesdays, you should bring him a drink.
The boys would try to act like they’re not interested in the commotion that always seemed to surround Akaashi. Gossip? That’s for the girls – not something for boys to partake in. But it was only a matter of time before they’d come running to Akaashi for a “psychic reading”, never wanting to admit that all they really wanted was a bit of guidance.
They’d come running back to him, tittering and snickering whenever his advice would work. Suddenly, he was seen as a genius, a guru – as much as any preteen boy could actually be.
It was easy, really – a person’s body language can often tell you much more than words could ever manage to say, and Akaashi had always been an avid reader. He’d try to tell them as much, try to teach his friends what to look for and where, but alas the ability had still been dubbed a ‘gift’.
But sometimes, it can be a curse.
For a long while, there were only two kinds of people in Akaashi’s life: those that wanted to use him for his talents, and those that seemed to resent him for it.
It was actually comical how fast it is for some to turn their backs. Flipping around on him like a switch, taking all the brightness with them and leaving Akaashi alone in the dark.
He had learned – the hard way – that most people actually quite hated the notion of being perceived. It strikes them with a sense of anxiety that was unfamiliar – not exactly fear, but something akin to uneasiness. The constant feeling of eyes on your back was enough to drive anyone crazy, even more so when you’re meant to be somewhere safe.
It’s not as if Akaashi was doing it on purpose. Sometimes, he wasn’t even aware he was doing anything at all. He wasn’t watching anyone specifically, but was it his fault if certain things caught his attention? Was it wrong for him to be observant of his surroundings? His classmates were part of his environment, it was only natural for them to be part of his observations as well. It was nothing personal, it was just a habit.
It was difficult to explain as such when a boy from his class called him a stalker for knowing he was in the soccer club, because how else could Akaashi have known? He hardly knew Akaashi. Even though Akaashi pointed out the grass stains on his socks and the pair of cleats peeking out of his bag, the boy still threatened Akaashi to stay far away.
It was even harder for him to calm the angry girl from two classes over – the one that happened to always eat at the lunch table next to his in the cafeteria. He froze when she stormed up to him, tossing a baby blue hair clip on his table. Steam was billowing out from her eyes, saying she’d only ever spoken a grand total of six words to him, so how the hell does he know her favorite color? Never mind the fact that her earrings, her phone case, her jacket, her thermos, and her bento are all that same color. It was an educated guess, one that was clearly correct if her angry reaction was enough to go by.
It was frustrating, honestly. Did she even know how pathetic his own classmate looked, sniffing around Akaashi and asking how he should approach the cute girl from class 2-C? Was it really wrong for Akaashi to suggest getting her a hair clip in the same color? What difference did it make whether he figured out random stuff about her or not?
But the scowl she threw in his direction had almost successfully masked the panic that swept through her eyes. But Akaashi had seen it.
She was afraid. Of him.
She had called him names then, names he had heard before. Weirdo. Stalker. Creep. Names that never bothered him in the past, but coupled with the look of fright on this girl's face – whose favorite color he knew, but name remained foreign – all of it sounded much harsher than he ever remembered. Especially when she dumped the rest of her milk on the top of his head.
After that incident, there was a sort of shift in public opinion on Akaashi. The whispers that followed him down the hall no longer mingled with soft giggles and smiles. They were whispers behind narrowed eyes and scowling faces, disapproving frowns upon any lips that would say his name.
Some friends stood by his side, half-heartedly defending him in a way that told him they didn’t actually care – they just wanted to stay on his good side. Nosy busybodies that only shielded him from the wary stares so they could keep asking him for his advice on whether he thought Dairiki-kun like girls with bangs or without.
It was one of the few times Akaashi had really, truly felt pathetic. His life was sitting in the sweaty palms of his peers, and a single wrong move will have him crushed by their grubby little fingers. It was infuriating, suffocating – having to think twice, thrice, four times before Akaashi could even say a single word.
But they had already decided on the box they would put Akaashi in, and he could do nothing more than sit still. Sit still and ignore the sneers and scowls from people that he used to call friends. Stay quiet when the boys of his class would shove him around the halls calling him freak. Look the other way when he’d come back to his desk and his things were destroyed. Ignore the pang in his chest when he ate his lunches alone in the library.
At the turn of his adolescence – his first year of high school – Akaashi decided that things needed to change.
Fukurodani Academy was a different setting – different classes, different halls, different people.
He would be a different Akaashi Keiji. No longer putting himself out there, or offering his observations to anyone who would listen. He would just keep to himself, and not let anyone close enough to contain him again.
Then he met Bokuto Kotaro.
The boy was simplistic in nature. Kind and bright, with a horde of people that always followed him around wherever he went. Dozens of eyes constantly tracked his every move without fail, and Bokuto happened to be the type of person that thrived in such an environment. Though, despite being interested in the same sport, Akaashi never felt the need to become a part of his entourage. He was exactly the kind of guy Akaashi wanted – needed – to avoid.
But some things are simply not up to him. Each morning, he managed to mask the slight surprise on his face each time he walked into the volleyball team’s gym, and found that Bokuto was already there. And had probably been there for who knows how long. When Akaashi joined this team, he fully expected to always be the first to show up, and last to leave the gym each day, just as it was at his previous school.
Yet, there Bokuto was, every morning without fail, nothing but his grunts and the echoes of the ball spiking on the ground filling the gym. Every morning, he’d greet Akaashi with too much energy, the corners of his lips never dropping despite the fact that Akaashi never responded with anything other than a silent nod.
For a little while, that was all they had. A silent agreement to work together on the sport they loved, to be a team on the court, and strictly teammates off of it. Nothing more, nothing less. Bokuto continued being his charming self, scoring victories and basking in adoration as he was wont to do. Akaashi stood content to the side, satisfied with the joy of knowing his serves were in the capable hands of such an ace.
Akaashi should have known that it was only a matter of time until Bokuto would flip everything around.
They had been alone in the gym for at least an hour at that time, while the rest of Fukurodani Volleyball Club had gone home at an actual reasonable hour. The sun was already slipping past the horizon, taking with it the last tendrils of the day’s light. Bokuto had begged Akaashi to stay a little longer and help with his spikes, as usual. And Akaashi was quick to agree, as usual.
What was unusual was the way Bokuto kept glancing at Akaashi from the corner of his eye, and Akaashi wanted to laugh at Bokuto’s pathetic excuse of being discreet.
“What is it?” Akaashi asked, uncharacteristically breaking the silence.
Bokuto jumped, startled that Akaashi noticed him watching. It took a second for Bokuto to gather himself, absentmindedly bouncing the volleyball on the gleaming gym floor, face scrunched in a way that Akaashi had only seen while Bokuto was on the court.
“I wanted to ask you something,” Bokuto opened with those words, bouncing the ball one last time before catching it tightly in his hands. Akaashi’s silence was the only indicator of an agreement, and Bokuto took this as his cue to continue.
“Why do you hold back?”
There were many things Akaashi thought Bokuto might have asked. This one wasn’t even really on the list. Akaashi had forgotten what it felt like to be caught so off guard, unable to do anything but stand stupidly as his mind buffered. Bokuto’s pupils moved imperceptibly quickly, raking themselves all over Akaashi.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” Akaashi replied carefully, his shoulders rigid, nervously clasping his hands in front of him.
Bokuto frowned a little deeper, resting the volleyball now between his arm and his hip. “You don’t have to lie, Akaashi. I can tell you’re not… I see how you watch everything, but you always catch yourself before doing anything. It’s like you’re scared or… or – I don’t know! But you are, you’re holding back! I can just tell.”
It took all of Akaashi’s willpower not to let his jaw hang loose, only allowing himself to blink slowly. He dug through his mind, searching through every crevice for any memory of someone being able to read him like this. He went out of his way to be invisible, yet the overly cheerful, happy go lucky, sunshine ace of the volleyball team had somehow managed to still see right through him.
“So why?” Bokuto prodded again, and his tone could easily be confused as haughty, but Akaashi knew better. Akaashi continues to study Bokuto, the poor boy fidgeting under Akaashi’s frigid stare. But he doesn’t move, doesn’t back away. His weight shifted from one foot to the other, but he still waited for an answer
“It’s a long story,” Akaashi said quietly, turning around to walk towards the volleyball cart.
He hoped that would be the end of it, that Bokuto would take the hint and leave him alone. But before he could take more than three steps toward the cart, it clattered loudly and rolled away with the momentum of the volleyball that just landed into it from across the gym.
Akaashi turns back to Bokuto, a single eyebrow raised incredulously at Bokuto’s now empty hands. A corner of Bokuto’s mouth lifts devilishly, and he offers Akaashi nothing but a shrug of his shoulders.
“I’ve got a bit of time,” Bokuto rests his hands on his hips, shifting all his weight onto one leg. Akaashi wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, and wanted to ask Bokuto why he even cared. He was happy with how things were right now, and there was no need for him to do anything drastic.
Even as the thought passed through his mind, Akaashi could feel no truth behind it. And one look at Bokuto told him that he was not winning this round. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, and heaved out a sigh.
“If I don’t hold myself back, then people tend to get intimidated,” Akaashi offered, and that was as much as he was willing to expand on at this moment. “And when people are scared of you… that’s when you find out how nasty they can actually be.”
“So what? You’re scared?” Bokuto asked, and Akaashi scoffed because of course he wouldn’t understand. Everyone loved Bokuto, and even those that didn’t still held some sort of respect for him. He was the ace of the volleyball team, and he was the school’s heartthrob. What the hell would he know about being shunned and isolated?
Akaashi opened his mouth to say something snarky, the words burning up his throat and on to the tip of his tongue. Except when his lips parted, it wasn’t his voice that came out.
“If you hold yourself back because of random, faceless people, then aren’t you letting them win?” Bokuto interrupted Akaashi before he could speak, as if he knew that if he let the setter say whatever he was about to say, then the conversation would take a dive into the worst. “I hate losing, Akaashi.”
“What does me losing have anything to do with you?” Akaashi asked.
“Because we’re partners now. I got your back, and if you lose, I lose,” Bokuto smiled this time, and Akaashi’s chest felt a little bit lighter, “Like I said, I hate losing. So don’t make me into a loser, okay? Or it’s gonna be a problem.”
Bokuto brushes past Akaashi as he finishes speaking, hands resting on the back of his head as he walks the distance across the gym and to the volleyball cart. Akaashi’s eyes followed him in awe, a sudden fluttering in his heart and stomach as the ace digs out a new volleyball and bounces it twice onto the hardwood floors.
“We’ve only done eighty serves,” Bokuto changes the topic seamlessly, continuing on as if he hadn’t rendered Akaashi speechless, “We gotta do at least twenty more before Yamiji-san comes back to kick us out.”
Akaashi felt his feet move, his arms positioning themselves to receive, his body running around the gym until sweat dripped on the floor all around him. But his thoughts were elsewhere, plagued with memories of a past that had apparently silenced him into a pathetic existence. He’d thought this path would be better, make him feel like he belonged.
Maybe for a while, he convinced himself that it did, satisfied with existing as a shadow on the wall. He hadn’t anticipated Fukurodani's golden-eyed Adonis to shatter the illusion with so much ease, Akaashi wonders how he ever fooled himself into believing it in the first place.
They didn’t say a single word to each other for the rest of their practice. Or on the walk home. Or at morning practice the next day. Bokuto didn’t speak to Akaashi until the middle of their afternoon practice, when Akaashi had received every single one of Konoha’s spikes and gave Bokuto elegant, risky serves that had everyone on the other side of the net scrambling on their feet.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Bokuto exclaimed while pumping his fist, giving Akaashi a pat on the back that made the setter jerk forward two steps, “Keep that up, Akaashi!”
Akaashi rubbed the back of his neck, tilting his head slightly to the side. That’s when he noticed the thumbs up Bokuto had thrown you from across the court, and the relieved smile you returned as you flipped the numbers on the scoreboard. You and Bokuto held each other’s gazes for a moment longer, and Akaashi felt like he’d eavesdropped on an entire conversation.
You shivered slightly when Bokuto broke away, as if Akaashi’s icy stare washed over your entire body. Then you turned your head unnaturally quick and met Akaashi’s stare dead on, making him jolt. You offered him a small wave and half a grin, but before he could respond, Bokuto was dragging him back into the game.
After practice, Akaashi found Bokuto waiting for him by the gates of the school. He flew into an immediate tirade about the bad grade he got on his exam, and how the cafeteria ran out of katsu before he could get there. You showed up in the middle of Bokuro’s story, and the three of you started walking in sync towards the direction of Akaashi’s house, your voice mingling with Bokuto’s as you offered your own tidbits of the day. Akaashi didn’t question how you both knew where he lived, or why he was suddenly flanked by the two chattiest students in Fukurodani. But if Akaashi had known that was how it would all begin, then he might have cherished that moment a little bit more.
He never really spoke to you during his initial months in the club, which isn’t saying much as he didn’t speak to anyone. You were nice enough – always asked him how he was doing, berating the older ones whenever they’d give him a hard time, giving him reassuring smiles whenever he got scolded for messing up. The perfect example of a manager; your only fault being the nonsensical hearts in your eyes whenever they happened to land on Bokuto.
You tried to hide it desperately, but there was no hiding the affection in your smiles whenever they were directed toward Bokuto. It was obvious, painfully so, and it bewildered Akaashi that Bokuto still had not noticed. He can at least assume Yukie and Kaori knew, if the worried glances they threw at each other behind your back were of any indication. But if they or anyone else on the team were aware of your feelings, they respected your efforts enough to keep their thoughts to themselves.
He couldn’t blame you, not in the slightest. Not when Akaashi’s own heart skipped a beat or two during the night of that initial confrontation, and suddenly he himself was enamored by the ace – wanted to give him the best serves, set up the best plays, win him all the games. When Bokuto was on the court, then it was natural law of the universe for Akaashi to use every skill in his arsenal to make sure he shines. Akaashi did not choose for it to be this way, it simply is.
Perhaps that was how it was for you as well, Akaashi thought. Sometimes, the most painful part about love is having no choice, the complete loss of control. Akaashi could see it; the groan after each stolen glance, shaking him off when his hug made your face too hot, how you would slap your cheeks whenever you caught yourself staring, like a desperate attempt to break yourself out of some wretched spell.
If Akaashi was being honest, he hated seeing you that way. It didn’t take long for you to become someone precious to him, maybe even quicker than it took for Bokuto. Bokuto infuriated Akaashi as easily as he amazed him, each day a toss up on whether he admired him or wanted to strangle him.
But you brought Akaashi comfort, and a sense of understanding he’d never experienced from a friend. Sure, technically it was your job to assist the team, but he could tell that everything you did truly came from your heart. You were kind and selfless, the type of person that would give someone the very shirt off your back but still spit venom at anyone that spoke ill of your friends.
To have you in his corner, Akaashi couldn’t even begin to explain how much it saved him. He’d been drowning in the middle of an ocean, nearly overpowered by turbulent waves when Bokuto had given him a boat, and you’d given him an oar. As long as he remained with the two of you, then Akaashi thought he could get himself through it all.
So whenever he would watch you watch Bokuto flex his muscles to the girls cheering in the stands during a game, watch you gripping your clipboard so hard your knuckles turned white, he may feel... a little bit more than annoyed. And whenever Bokuto would then openly flirt with some of those girls after the game, Akaashi could admit that he might even feel a little bit upset.
Because how could he not see the way you look at him, how you smile when he says your name, how you trail after him like a lovesick puppy? At this point, Akaashi’s been friends with the two of you for months, won and lost countless games, gone to training camps, spent more time with each other than with your own families. And the entire time, Akaashi had to work very hard to act like he didn’t notice your feelings. How could Bokuto still be so ignorant?
It really bothered him a lot more than he cared to admit, and it surprised him. Akaashi never expected to care about you the way he does, but there it was. Maybe it was this comfortable closeness between you that propelled Akaashi to act so boldly, in a way he couldn’t bring himself to in a long time.
At the end of one of these unsavory games, while Bokuto busied himself with trying to get the number of a cheerleader in the stand, Akaashi scanned the court for a second, stopping only when his eyes landed on you. You were comparing your notes with the coach, and Akaashi waited until you finished speaking and Yamiji-san stalked off to scold someone else before he approached.
“Keiji! There you are, I wanted to talk to about your receives in the first set, you –”
“Are you ever going to tell him?” Akaashi asked, not even registering what you were saying. You might have been irritated at his interruption if you hadn’t been confused by the seemingly random question he just threw at your face.
“What? Tell who what?”
“Bokuto,” Akaashi crossed his arms and straightened his back, “Are you ever going to tell him how you feel?”
You blinked at him once, the only indication that you heard what Akaashi said. He stood facing you, and the seconds seemed to stretch as you did nothing but stare back. The cacophony of sounds that usually bounced along the walls of the gym suddenly sounded muffled and dull. Your lips twitched slightly before they spread into a rehearsed grin, your face slipping easily into a mask of casual indifference.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Keiji,” you answered him softly, shaking your head.
“Come on, Y/N,” Akaashi groaned, “You know exactly –”
“No, I really don’t,” you said almost pleadingly, your eyes darting around the gym, a mixture of sadness and relief in them when you see Bokuto still showing off to the girls that descended from the bleachers. You look back at Akaashi, brows furrowed as you said, “I don’t know what would make you even think that. Bokuto’s my best friend – that’s it. God, Akaashi, you should really be careful about what you say. If someone heard you, they might have gotten the wrong idea.”
You shot him another hard look – almost a glare, and one that he could read very well, that told him you knew he knew you were lying, that said please, just play along – before you made an excuse of gathering up all the other players for the bus back to school.
Akaashi’s feet felt stuck to the ground, an achingly familiar helplessness sluicing through him as you walked away. He couldn’t even bring himself to move until Bokuto threw an arm around his shoulder to drag him out, finally done with his flirting and ready to go home.
You were already seated on the bus when Bokuto and Akaashi finally deigned to board. The seat beside you was occupied by a chattering Yukie, who refused to move despite Bokuto’s complaints of always being the one that sits next to you. You laughed sheepishly and yelled claims of ‘manager bonding’ and doing everything you could to avoid meeting Akaashi’s eye.
That was the tone of your relationship for the next few weeks. An awkward tension that no one else seemed to notice but you and him. You didn’t treat him any differently – you still greeted him with a smile, walked home together everyday, still messed with him during practice. You still asked him about his day, and told him about yours and Akaashi almost could have convinced himself that nothing was wrong.
But everything you did started to feel like an act. Disingenuous, like a robot following a set program. You stopped sitting next to Bokuto at lunch, started walking to classes with your other friends instead. Your eyes started flicking to Akaashi whenever you felt you laughed too loudly at Bokuto’s jokes, and you latched yourself to the other players, throwing everyone off kilter.
You were going out of your way to prove a point that only Akaashi could understand, and even when Bokuto himself had pointed out your strange behavior, you simply brushed him off. There was a sense of insecurity that Akaashi knew he instilled in your actions, and it brought a twinge of regret that he never wanted to feel when it came to you.
Akaashi had been pouring over how to remedy the situation for days when an olive branch came in the form of Bokuto’s new girlfriend.
She was a girl from another school, and he met her after one of their games. She came over to their side of the court and congratulated Bokuto for thoroughly defeating her team. She was very pretty and he liked her smile, so Bokuto had asked her out, and she was very quick to say yes. She was waiting for him one day after practicing, standing patiently at the entrance gates with a bag of homemade cookies in her hand.
Bokuto was so excited as he ran out of the gym to meet her, sparing one minute to ask Akaashi to let you know where he’d gone. Akaashi supposed it was a little comforting to know that Bokuto genuinely cared about you, even if it was encased with his own selfishness.
Akaashi waited until the rest of the volleyball club had emptied the gym before he made his way into the equipment room. He could hear your sniffling before he even opened the door, his heart slowly crumbling when he walked in on you crouched behind the volleyball cart.
You sat on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest. Your forehead rested against your knees, and your quiet sobs filled the tiny room. You didn’t bother to look up as Akaashi approached, and fought his own tears as your shoulders shook with every breath.
He kneeled in front of you quietly, silently debating with himself before he placed a tender hand on your shoulder. You continued to cry, taking uneven, shaky breaths. You didn’t move from your position, and Akaashi briefly wondered if you’d even registered his presence.
“Did he leave?” You asked suddenly, voice thick and hoarse.
“Yes,” Akaashi answered.
Slowly, you lifted your head to face him. Your eyes were puffed and swollen, eyes rimmed with red and cheeks stained with tears. Snot dribbled down your nose disgracefully, and there was a sorry attempt on your part to wipe away the evidence of your heartbreak. The sleeves you’d worn your heart on were now soaked with salty tears, and you couldn’t control the tremble of your lips.
Akaashi didn’t know what else to do other than wrap his arms around you. The position was awkward and he’s pretty sure he’d actually never hugged you before. He felt you stiffen for a second, almost making him pull back. But then you buried your face into the crook of his neck and cried. Akaashi could feel his shirt begin to soak, but he pulled you tighter against him.
He had no idea how long he held you for, but he stayed there in that smelly old equipment room and he held you until his knees ached and you had no more tears left to give.
Neither of you spoke once you were done, giving him a sad smile as you pulled away. He didn’t offer one back, but he helped you up to your feet and kept an arm around your shoulder as you both walked out silently. Akaashi knew there was nothing he could say to soothe the pain, and you didn’t look like you wanted to say a single word about it anyway.
He simply walked home with you as usual, taking the long way around to ensure you both end up walking by your favorite takoyaki stand. He spent the money he was saving in his wallet for a rainy day, and bought you all the food you could eat. He had even gotten your favorite popsicle from the convenience store by your house, and though you still remained silent, he was happy to see you eat everything he gave you.
By the time Akaashi dropped you off at your front door, the tears were long gone and the moon was high in the sky. You turned to Akaashi, nervously fiddling with your fingers as you tried to find the words. Akaashi smiled to himself, and reached out to pat his hand lightly on the top of your head.
“It’ll be okay,” he said, hoping you’d believe him. The lonely smile you gave him tells him you don’t, but you hug each other one last time anyway before saying your goodbyes.
Akaashi remembered the first time you and Bokuto successfully broke through his brick walls. Broke might have been too gentle of a word for it though – smashed through might be better. It was at the start of his second season with Fukurodani, and he was still riding the high of an amazing first year. He was ready for an even better year, ready to try out his new skills at the first practice match Yamiji-san had arranged with a school the team had never played with before.
Then a familiar voice called his name from the other side of the court. A few familiar faces from a life he was desperate to forget peered at him through the net, chuckling and laughing and asking him where the hell he’s been for the past year? Akaashi froze – completely and pathetically froze. It was only after six missed serves and accidentally smacking Bokuto in the back of the head with a ball did Yamiji-san finally tire of his antics and benched him for the rest of the game.
Akaashi ran to the locker rooms as soon as practice was over. He didn’t acknowledge his old classmates, didn’t even pretend to be polite or engage in empty pleasantries. Instead, he hid in one of the shower stalls until the rest of the team left and he was absolutely sure there would be no one left to see him leave.
But when he exited the stall, there you were. Standing next to Bokuto in a locker room he was absolutely sure you weren’t allowed to be in, with your hands on your hip and brows etched in concern. The two of you cornered him, and barricaded him until he fessed up about what the hell just happened on that court. Akaashi was a resilient man, but even he could do nothing against you two.
So he told you everything – from his ‘guru’ days to the milk dumping incident to the isolation and bullying – everything. He didn’t stop speaking for what felt like hours, but neither you nor Bokuto interrupted him once, allowing him to regurgitate everything he’d been holding in for years.
When he was done, he wasn’t sure what he expected. Pity, or sympathy or something like that. But, no. Instead, when he looked at the faces of his two best friends, all he saw was anger. Clenched fists, tight jaws, fire burning in eyes – anger. And it made him happy. Whatever happened in his past didn’t matter, because here, he had two people who were willing to get angry on his behalf.
He thought he couldn’t get any closer to you than he was at that moment. But he was wrong.
Walking away from your doorstep, Akaashi knew the bond between the two of you was solidified after this – having already seen each other at your worst, taking turns being each other’s salvation. You become more than his friend, you were his sister. Sister in pain, sister in darkness, sister in light. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you, and you for him.
Thinking back, the sobbing was probably a bit of an overreaction. A little dramatic considering Bokuto had broken up with that girl not even three weeks later. He was crying and moaning about it for about ten minutes until you promised to take him to his favorite yakiniku spot, and he never thought about that girl again.
Things would go back to normal for a little while – the three of you acting as reckless teenagers do when they had free reign over the streets of Tokyo. Sitting in cafes sharing one drink for four hours, getting scolded by the coach for staying in the gym too long, laughing and arguing over the most ridiculous reasons that Bokuto turned emo.
Until Bokuto meets his next girlfriend. Then your heart breaks into a million pieces, and Akaashi tries to hold you together. Then Bokuto breaks up with his girlfriend, and comes running back with crocodile tears in his eyes. You’d catch him again with open arms, and things are alright for a little while until the ugly cycle starts over again.
Akaashi tried not to let himself wonder why you allowed yourself to accept this – allow Bokuto to put you through it over and over again. He told himself that he didn’t really care, it wasn’t any of his business. Whether you told Bokuto your true feelings or not was your prerogative, and Akaashi wouldn’t do anything but respect your decisions. Even if the decision seemed borderline masochistic.
Akaashi is forced to simply brush off his irritation at his best friend, because Bokuto was so painfully unaware of what he’d been doing. And if Bokuto was too stupid to see what was right in front of his eyes, then Akaashi was not interested in being the one to enlighten him.
Ultimately, Akaashi does what he does best – keep his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself. He would listen to every single complaint Bokuto would have about his girlfriends, but he never dared offer his own opinions. He allowed you to drag him to whatever random activity would keep your mind off your own issues, but he never outwardly acknowledged the hurt you always tried to hide.
And as horrible it is to say, the girls never lasted very long. A month, maybe two at the most. Hardly enough time for Akaashi to memorize any names, as cruel as that sounded. Soon enough, they would complain about his training schedule, or whine about how he hangs out with his friends a bit too much, and that was all it took for Bokuto to cut it off. Bokuto’s priorities always remained the same, and that at least was something Akaashi happily gave him credit for.
By the time college rolled around, you had even started dating. No one else had ever successfully managed to ensnare your attention for more than five minutes, but Akaashi appreciated seeing you try. Though he admits it was rather amusing to see Bokuto so fervently talk shit about any person you had even a remote interest in, and maybe a little bit more than satisfying to see Bokuto finally be the one on the other side.
Bokuto, surprisingly, never actually brought any of his girlfriends around. He talked about them, and on occasion, he would invite them to some of his games, but that was it. It was odd, because Bokuto had always struck Akaashi as the type that wanted his partner cheering for him at every opportunity they could get, and would want to hear their voice screaming his name from the stands. But on the rare occasion he actually allowed any of them to come watch him, Bokuto was quick to usher them out of the gym before anyone could even introduce themselves.
It bewildered Akaashi to no end. Was it because he was ashamed?Akaashi’s met at least two girlfriends, and Bokuto’s gone on double dates with Konoha and Washio. Was he hiding his girlfriends from you?
Did he finally get a taste of his own medicine when he saw you kiss that guy in your psych class? Was Bokuto trying to spare you the pain? Akaashi didn’t really want to think of the implications if that statement were true.
Well, out of sight, out of mind was a set up that worked for him very well.
And more importantly, it worked well enough for you. Worked for Bokuto as well, apparently. He didn’t want to see any of your flings, and you were better off not seeing any of his. A nauseating song and dance that only the two of you knew the steps for. Neither of you were willing to be each other's partner, satisfied to let the opportunity suspend in the air between you, yet never reaching out to take it.
But hey, if you’re fine with it, then Akaashi could work with this. He could live with this.
That was until Hikari came along.
Akaashi was honestly a little surprised – Hikari wasn’t typically the type of woman that Bokuto would tangle himself with. That wasn’t to say anything about her looks, or her personality – she was very much Bokuto’s type. But she had already been an essential part of at least one aspect of his life before they started dating, and it was unusual for Bokuto to allow a relationship to transpire with someone so close – the manager of his team, at that. Bokuto always dated outside the proximity of his circle; someone that went to another school, or one that he met at the gym, or sat next to him in one of his classes.
Never anyone too close. Never anyone that would matter if he lost them.
But apparently, Hikari was a woman on a mission. Akaashi knew it from the first time he met her, could see it in the wolfish gleam in her eyes as she watched Bokuto from across the room.
He was a little taken aback, but not all that shocked when you came home from that party, practically giving him a heart attack when you burst through the front door and stormed directly to the couch. You didn’t spare him a glance before you face planted onto the cushions, buried your face into the decorative pillows he’d spent two hours picking, and let out the most ungodly scream he’d ever heard.
You didn’t have to tell him what happened; Akaashi could easily guess.
“What’s wrong with you?” he still asked slowly, afraid any sudden movements might cause you to lunge.
“I wish I knew,” your voice was muffled, not bothering to lift your head from the pillow.
A nagging voice in his head told him he should have stayed at that party, to be your emotional support at the very least if nothing else. He mentally kicked himself, glaring at the laptop he sat in front of, and the blinking document of his unfinished part in the group project he was meant to present to his group mates in the morning. As if the assignment was responsible for his failure.
You’d be safe if he left, he reasoned with himself. The volleyball team was full of idiots, but they were all good guys. Besides, Bokuto was there and there wasn’t a single chance in hell anything bad would happen to you while he was around. And if Bokuto was too drunk, then Kuroo at least would make sure you all got home safely. He’d even set himself up on the dining room table so he could see you walk through the front door with his own two eyes.
Because he had fully expected you to walk through those doors with Bokuto in tow like you’ve done dozens of times, and the fact that you arrived in the dead of night alone was enough to make Akaashi’s blood pressure rise.
He stood from his chair and walked the few short steps to the fridge. He opened the freezer door, pushing through packets of frozen meat until he found the cream puff flavored ice cream that you had to special order online. He grabs the pint and two spoons before he makes his way to the couch.
You didn’t move when he pushed your leg to the side, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. You didn’t move when he nudged your calves with his knuckles and asked you to sit up before you suffocated. So he just leaned back, tossing the lid of the ice cream pint onto the coffee table before digging in.
It’d been two bites of ice cream and one minute later when you slowly maneuver yourself to sit up. Akaashi tried to pretend not to notice you, but it was impossible when you snatched the extra spoon and the entire pint out of his hand in one fluid motion.
“Jesus, watch out for my fingers,” he mumbled, smirking at the glare you shot his way. But you only held the fake contempt until the first spoon of your favorite dessert hit your lips – then you were sighing and leaning your head against Akaashi’s shoulder.
He patted a hand on your knee, reaching over for a scoop of ice cream and chuckling when you blocked his spoon with yours. You tried to hide the ice cream from him, but his arms were long, and he easily snatched the pint back.
“Hey!” you cried out, and Akaashi quickly conceded before you really took out a finger.
“How’d you get home?” Akaashi asked, lifting his feet to rest them on the coffee table and leaning his head against yours.
“Kuroo walked me home,” you replied quietly.
“Good.”
Neither of you said another word as you let the quiet of the evening envelope you, not a single sound save for the occasional clashing of spoons when you both reached for another bite. He could feel you slowly ease beside him, the tension in your body melting away with each passing minute.
When the ice cream was finished, the empty pint decorated your table, along with two spoons haphazardly tossed, surrounded by splotches of melted cream that was sure to be a pain to clean. Your breathing was steady, and the time on the clock read ‘Akaashi is going to be exhausted in the morning’.
He didn’t care, though. You hadn’t moved or spoken in a while now, and Akaashi was convinced you were already asleep. He already prepared himself to spend the night on the couch, your head on his shoulder and his body twisted in a way that was sure to make his back ache the next day.
He was just seconds away from giving into sleep’s lovely tug when you broke the silence.
“I saw him with…” you said, fiddling with the hem of your shirt and clearing your throat, “It was Hikari.”
Akaashi sighed, reaching a hand up to pat your head.
“Are you okay?” he asked again, a pitiful question that he’s repeated to you countless times.
He waited for your usual answer – vehement denial that anything could be possibly wrong, an airy dismissal of his concerns, and a change in conversation so effortless, it almost makes Akaashi forget what he was saying to you in the first place.
This time, though – this time, a weighted silence followed his question, and you looped an arm around his, hugging him firmly.
“Not really,” you admitted softly.
It was the first time Akaashi had ever heard you confess your heartache. It was always something that was unspoken, and seeing your crumpled face made Akaashi regret ever keeping things that way. He turned fully to wrap himself around you gently, and you gave yourself to his embrace. He’d only heard a sniffle or two, but he could feel the moisture slowly seeping into his t-shirt. It was a feeling that was achingly familiar.
“Come on, now. Didn’t we say crying over boys was… I think your words were ‘so fucking embarrassing’,” Akaashi mumbled into your hair, smiling when he felt you chuckle against him. His stomach turned at the inadequacy of his words, but he had no idea what else to offer, so he simply offered himself. “I’m here for you, okay? Always.”
You pulled back for a moment to give him a watery smile. Akaashi wiped at your tear stained cheeks.
“Literally, your snot is dripping down to your mouth, and it’s disgusting.”
Your laughter warmed Akaashi’s cheeks, smacking him on the shoulder before you stood up. You said nothing else as you stalked off into the darkness of your bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights before shutting the door.
A myriad of emotions swirled through Akaashi as he remained seated on the couch. Was there more that he could have said? Could have done? If he had stayed at the party, would he have been able to stop this from happening? Was it even any of his business to stop it?
But Akaashi knows himself, and knows he would have said nothing if he saw Bokuto sneak away with Hikari. He would have done nothing except perhaps usher you to the other side of the house, using whatever means to keep you distracted. Even if he was there, all he could have done was spare you the knowledge of it – at least for one night.
He couldn’t help but feel as if he failed you then – to be a good friend, a brother. Or maybe he’s failed you for years. You’d never see it that way, could never even fathom the notion of his failure, and somehow that thought bothers Akaashi more.
Akaashi stood up and stalked to his own room. He shut the door and collapsed onto his bed, hatred pumping from his heart through his veins as he drifted off to sleep.
It was that lingering hate he could still feel churning in his gut when he awoke the next morning that spurred him out of bed and scurrying into the living room. He had every intention of starting the day as a new man – one who didn’t allow his cowardice consume him, didn’t place the comfort of his wellbeing over the needs of those he loved.
Those were the thoughts that ran through his mind, but his momentum halted instantly when he rounded the corner of the hallway, and saw you standing in the genkan. You looked like you had just rolled out of bed yourself, eyes swollen and still wearing the clothes from last night. Your hand rested on the doorknob, the front door wide open.
You turned to him as he approached, and gave him an almost pleading look. Akaashi only had to wonder why you were distressed for two seconds before Bokuto barrelled through the doorway, way too loudly and looking much too bright for the hour.
Akaashi has seen this dance before. He’s seen it so many times, the sequence of it already playing out in his mind like a familiar melody. Bokuto comes in with a plan that sounded equal parts ridiculous and exhausting, dragging you out without even asking. Akkashi scoffed as you tried and failed to ward off Bokuto with pathetic excuses, but as usual he was having none of it. And both you and Akaashi knew better than to think you could win against Bokuto Kotaro.
He stood aside while you flurried around the apartment like a blizzard storm, fighting the frown at how Bokuto stood in the foyer with his hands on his hips, a satisfied and smug look on his face. Bokuto turned to Akaashi as if he’d just noticed him for the first time, slapping him on the shoulder before asking, “Akaashi! Why do I feel like I didn’t even see you at all last night?”
It was an effort not to lift a hand and smack Bokuto in the back of the head right then and there. But thankfully, you came rushing out of your bedroom, hastily grabbing a pair of shoes from the genkan. You shot him one last apologetic glance, and you were out the door before he could even bid you goodbye.
And there he stood – alone in the foyer of his own apartment, feeling like nothing more than a fly on the wall.
A glance at the clock was the only thing that could have set him in motion, already running ten minutes later than he wanted to start his day. From the tornado named Bokuto that just passed, and the flurry in which Akaashi himself now dashed around, it seemed the apartment was destined to be chaotic.
He was impatiently tapping his fingers on the kitchen counter, glaring at his coffee machine as if his sheer will would somehow make the brew drip faster, when there was another knock on the door.
The day was already filled with chaos, but apparently also surprises, because the last person he expected to see on the other side of the threshold was Kuroo Tetsuro.
The two boys blinked at each other for a second, Kuroo looking just as confused as Akaashi as to why he came to visit in the first place. Kuroo shifted his weight from one foot to the other with his hands tucked in his front pockets, offered Akaashi a nervous smile and a lukewarm attempt at small talk before finally asking if you were still asleep inside.
Akaashi sighed as he delivered the unfortunate news that not only were you already awake, but were currently being dragged no doubt halfway across the city by none other than Kuroo’s very own roommate.
“Do you guys not communicate or something,” Akaashi asked blandly, and Kuroo just shrugged.
“He wasn’t there when I got home last night, and he wasn’t there when I woke up this morning. What do you want from me?”
Akaashi rolled his eyes, but he still widened the door for Kuroo to slip through, who only smiled at him sheepishly as he entered the apartment. Akaashi asked if he wanted some coffee, and Kuroo graciously accepted, slipping back into the easy, laid-back attitude that he’d always been known to wear.
Content to leave Kuroo to his own devices, Akaashi darted back into his room to quickly change. When he emerged eight minutes later, fully clothed and his backpack dangling from his shoulder, Kuroo was filling up his thermos with coffee while Akaashi’s already sat waiting for him at the counter.
Akaashi nodded his head in thanks, Kuroo handing him his cup as the two walked out of the apartment in tandem. He didn't say anything when Kuroo remained in step with him, chattering about his classes as they embarked on the twenty minute walk to campus. Didn’t even consider that it was a weekend, and Kuroo likely didn’t even have to head in this direction so early at all.
Kuroo stayed with Akaashi as far as the library entrance, the latter almost entering the building before he finally had the frame of mind to wonder, “Wait, so why’d you stop by the apartment today?” Akaashi looked over his shoulder and adjusted his bag a bit higher, “Sorry, I was too distracted by… everything. Did you need something?”
Kuroo chuckled almost guiltily, a crooked smile on his lips. He rubbed at the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at Akaashi as if he was debating whether he wanted to tell him the truth.
“Oh, ha,” Kuroo breathed out, shaking his head slightly, “No, I was just – I mean, y/n looked pretty out of it last night. And I was about to,” Kuroo cleared his throat and adjusted his shirt, “I was heading to that cafe – you know, the one in front of that seven eleven? – and I thought I’d check in to see if she was alive.”
Akaashi’s eyes softened in understanding, pressing his lips into a thin line and nodding his head once as he turned to face Kuroo fully and offered him half a smile.
“Thanks for taking her home last night, by the way,” said Akaashi, “She’s lucky you were still at the party.”
Kuroo let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. He takes a strap of his own backpack off his shoulder and flips it to the front, holding it against his chest as he hastily pulls open the zipper.
“Yeah, it was just good timing,” Kuroo replied while he continued to dig through his backpack. He eventually pulls out a few red packets and hands them to Akaashi, “Here. It’s red ginseng. I’m not sure how long you’re planning to be here, but it should help you get through the day.”
Akaashi examined the red packets in his hand, almost pouting with appreciation to Kuroo. But when he lifted his head, Kuroo was already walking across the courtyard.
“Make sure to give one of those to y/n when you see her!” He yelled over his shoulder, waving at Akaashi one last time before taking off.
Akaashi did eat the red ginseng, and it did help him get through the seven hours he had spent in the library that day. And he never thought twice about Kuroo’s impromptu visit to his apartment that morning, nor did he think twice about being escorted to the library despite the cafe Kuroo mentioned being on the complete opposite side of campus.
Because that was just Kuroo – Akaashi had never known him to be any other way. The very definition of all bark no bite, the kind of man that would tease you relentlessly for a stain on your pants, then take you to a store to buy you a new pair.
Though Kuroo may have been closer to Bokuto, Akaashi had a tremendous amount of respect for the man, and would probably even go so far as to say Kuroo was also one of his closest friends.
And when Hikari started to prove herself a new fixture, and Bokuto’s absence became more frequent, Akaashi was appreciative of Kuroo’s steady presence – still showing up to the study sessions, and coming over to watch volleyball games on Akaashi’s “much nicer TV”, and grabbing hot ramen and a cold beer after a particularly stressful test.
He was acting as the Kuroo Tetsuro he’d always been, and it was that semblance of normalcy that Kuroo effortlessly provided, without anyone asking him to, nor any expectations from anyone else – like a lighthouse in the middle of a raging storm, Akaashi knows it was Kuroo that brought them safely to harbor.
Because Akaashi was waiting for it. Ever since that day you had come home from your outing with Bokuto, dragging your feet through the door, looking like someone had just ripped the world out from beneath your feet, he had been waiting. For the other shoe to drop, for the inevitable descent into madness - at least your version of it.
He felt prepared for it in a way, felt ready. He was no longer going to pretend to believe your fake smiles and reassurances that you were fine while you locked yourself in your room days at a time, and he wasn’t going to let you throw yourself so hard into your studies that you forget to eat.
Akaashi felt things would be different this time around. He’d make sure of it. So he waited for the moment your mask would fall, and prepared himself to catch the pieces.
But the moment never came.
Don’t misunderstand. It’s not as if Akaashi wanted to see you have a mental breakdown for the eighth time in as many years, and he certainly didn’t want to watch you retreat into a shell of yourself as you attempt to reconcile your new reality with your broken fantasies.
Akaashi can see it in your face sometimes, even though you try your hardest to hide it. The exhaustion beneath your red-rimmed eyes, the very slight downturn of your lips when you thought no one was paying attention, and the tiredness in your slumped shoulders, as if you’ve been carrying a mountain on your shoulders.
Still, you always made sure to take care of everybody, and you did it for so long. Akaashi didn’t want to admit to being part of the guilty party, but he had just been as willing to take everything you gave, and believed when you said you needed nothing in return.
It was shameful, and a little bit more than selfish, but a small part of him wanted this chance. To prove himself a worthy friend, that he could take care of the people that mattered to him the most. He almost hated himself for it, for using your suffering as an opening, but he wanted to make up for all the lost opportunities, for the pain his silence might have caused.
It was his turn to take care of you, and he was ready to do a damn good job.
Except, you were fine.
He was thankful, if not a little thrown off by the lack of a depressive episode. But thankful, nonetheless.
More than thankful, though, he was curious. Bokuto was becoming increasingly absent, flaking on plans and ignoring phone calls. Akaashi had never seen him be so serious about a girl, and even he was feeling annoyed about being left in the proverbial dust. Akaashi had imagined you’d be a little more… upset.
He hadn’t noticed any particular changes. Your routine hardly deviated, aside from the occasional dinners or drinks at the bar with him and Kuroo – if you were not in class you were at work, if you weren’t at work you were home, and if you weren’t home you were in class. For a short while, Akaashi felt like he had been living with a ghost, just going through the motions until the sun set and rose again for the new day.
Sometimes, though, he’d find you on the balcony, sitting on the matching chairs Bokuto’s sisters bought for you when the two of you had first moved in. A mug of coffee or tea would be in your hands, the liquid looking as if it had long gone cold. You wouldn’t acknowledge Akaashi whenever he’d step outside to join you. Say nothing as he sits in the vacant seat beside you, staring only out into the blinking lights of the city.
When you were this way, Akaashi knew better than to try and bother you to speak. Your mind was eons away, in a world where Akaashi had never been and would never get to see. So he settled himself to sit beside you silently, until you were ready to climb back down from wherever you wandered off to.
But even those days became few and far in between.
It was something that confused him, like he’d been following a trail of crumbs laid before him, yet had no idea where it would lead him to.
That was, until he walked up to Study room 201 for the usual Tuesday evening session. On a normal day he would simply barge into the room without a thought as to who was already in there or if they were in the middle of anything important. But there was a tug in his chest that halted him in front of the narrow, rectangular window cut-out of the sliding door. He was still as he peeked through the glass, and something clicked so loudly in his brain, his eardrums nearly burst.
Because Study Room 201 was already a mess of textbooks and papers, prohibited snacks and drinks littered the conference table, and Kuroo Tetsuro was sitting next to you.
You were leaning over as you read something on his laptop screen, and Kuroo slightly leaned back to give you some room. Your eyes were roving over the screen quickly, faster than any normal person should be reading. Then you frowned at something, your finger pointing at certain spots as you explained his mistakes.
It seemed like you were ripping into Kuroo’s essay or project or whatever it was he was having you read over, your mouth running off into a seemingly endless tangent of all the things he could have done differently. If it was Akaashi in that situation, his head would probably feel so hot from how irritating your voice surely would have sounded in his ears. He might have shoved you away altogether.
Yet, there was Kuroo Tetsuro, sitting in the seat Akaashi had only ever seen one other person sit in, staring at you as he tried but failed desperately to hide the smile on his face. You turned just as Kuroo’s smile bubbled into a chuckle, and you smacked your pen so hard on his head, Akaashi was afraid he might start bleeding.
Kuroo’s chuckle turned into complete laughter, loud and obnoxious and infectious, it was only a matter of seconds until you dissolved into a fit of giggles yourself.
Neither of you paid him much attention when Akaashi finally decided to open the door. In fact, it seemed as if you hadn’t noticed him at all, despite nearly slamming the door in his haste to enter. Akaashi settled into the seat across from you, as he’s always done, and a small part of him wondered if Kuroo might move back into his usual seat beside him now that Akaashi has entered the picture.
He didn’t. He simply smiled at Akaashi and asked him if he’d like a turn to criticize his work. Of course, Akaashi agreed and thoroughly enjoyed tearing down Kuroo’s perfectly good thesis if only because it made both of you laugh.
Akaashi felt incredibly stupid for not seeing it before, and now that he has, he doesn’t understand how he could have possibly missed it. He stared at the man beside you now, sneaking grapes onto your laptop to get you to eat and wordlessly walking down the hall to fill your water bottle and filling in the seat Akaashi never braved to fill, and the revelations pour over him like a waterfall, loud and rumbling and serene all at once.
He’s glad it was Kuroo.
It was a little painful, though. Not a heartbreak, nor a pang of jealousy, but there was an ache that took hold in his body all the same. And he hated that selfish part of him that was hurt – wishing it was him that could have helped you heal.
But it wasn’t him, and he’s glad it was Kuroo.
Whatever sort of pain or shame or guilt that he was torturing himself with was quickly eased away by the sound of your muffled laughter through the apartment walls during late night phone calls, the color that was beginning to return to your cheeks, and the light that had finally returned in your eyes.
In those following months, you stopped locking yourself in your room, stopped losing yourself in the city lights on that cold, empty balcony. And more than once has Akaashi come home to find you and Kuroo splayed across the living room, either giggling over something playing on the TV screen with beer cans littered across his coffee table, or sitting beside each other in comfortable silence while you both worked or studied.
One way or another, Akaashi would get roped into whatever it was you were doing with Kuroo. And he’ll complain, berate you two for wasting his time on nonsense and tomfoolery, but it was those moments that provided him with a sharp clarity, like he finally has all the pieces he needed for this puzzle.
Akaashi may have been just a man on the outside looking in, but the picture that Kuroo had built with you – for you – was more beautiful and warm than Akaashi had ever thought to imagine. And whether you realized it or not, you now went about your days with a permanent smile on your lips and a lightness in the air about you that Akaashi had not felt in years.
It had filled him with something he didn’t even know he had been missing, as if his lungs were finally taking their first gulp of air after so long underwater. The brightness you started to exude felt as warm and refreshing as summer’s first rays of sun, and Akaashi finally lets himself relax.
Because Kuroo – that son of a bitch, Akaashi could kiss him in the mouth – he had taken the pieces of you that were scattered across the dirty floor, and he’s put together every single shard until you were nearly whole again. He had breathed an entirely new life into you, a mosaic of all the things you thought you couldn’t handle, brought back to make you stronger. You were almost unrecognizable.
But people don’t change so easily, and some habits are ingrained into your bones. Akaashi could already see the beginnings of it. The self-doubt, the fear, overthinking your every word and action. Often, Akaashi felt as if he could hear your thoughts from across the room, his throat constricting as they wrapped around him like a noose.
He didn’t want things to be the same, he told himself. Things were going to be different this time. He’d said it like a mantra over and over again, and now was the time for him to put his money where his mouth was.
And one day, Akaashi was in the kitchen making his usual cup of coffee, you came bouncing – no, literally, you were bouncing – out of your room with just about the goofiest smile he’d ever seen on your face, and it was all the push he needed to step over the line.
He allowed himself that bit of courage, something he’d spent years shoving to the back of his mind, smothered by his own hands.
“Excited for your date?”
“It’s not a date!”
“Would it be so bad if it was?I mean look at you, you’re smiling like an idiot.”
For one, glorious, precious second, Akaashi thought that things would finally work out. The gears started spinning your head, and even though you glared at him, Akaashi could already see a sparkle in your eye, and a hint of smile you tried to hide.
“You know what, Keiji, I’m getting sick of you –”
And it only took three knocks for everything to come toppling down.
The not-so-serendipitous entrance of Bokuto Koutaro was usually accepted with open arms, and an exasperated sigh that wasn’t actually exasperated but a little excited to see what he’s got planned for the day.
But that day, the sight of his streaked hair made Akaashi’s stomach drop to the floor, and hearing the way he spoke to you only made Akaashi see red.
He almost didn’t register the slam of his front door, the blood roaring in his ears too loudly for him to hear your heated exchange. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel sorry for his best friend, pouting like a child whose favorite toy was just ripped from his hand.
Akaashi knew, deep down somewhere in a dusty corner of his heart, that Bokuto didn’t mean any harm. He might have even thought he came here with the best of intentions, that maybe he was trying to be a good friend. And maybe that’s what irritates Akaashi even more, the complete lack of self-awareness, and the obliviousness to those around him – perfectly content with staying inside his own Bokuto-powered bubble.
Irritated, yes. Still, Akaashi couldn’t bring himself to be truly vexed. Not when Bokuto looked just as confused and distraught. Akaashi didn't know what he was thinking, or perhaps he wasn’t even thinking at all, but he couldn’t stop himself. But the worst part of it was, he didn’t want to. Because you were finally letting yourself be happy, and he wasn’t going to let Bokuto ruin it.
“She’s finally moving on. You shouldn’t do anything to mess that up.”
“Just leave it alone, Bokuto-san. Before anyone gets hurt.”
By the time he was finished, the flames of anger Akaashi felt just moments prior had completely died, and he was left with nothing but a taste of smoke and ash on his tongue. He spoke the words a lot more calmly than he felt, a familiar sense of sympathy creeping over his heart yet again.
Because the look on Bokuto’s face was one Akaashi had seen before, but never on him. A mix of shock and confusion, topped off with a hint of anguish and regret. It looked sad enough on you, but on Bokuto, it was heartbreaking.
So he truly didn’t know. Akaashi’s not sure if it made him feel better or worse. He just knew he was finished with this game, and although he couldn’t really understand the gravity of what he’d just done, he didn’t regret it. When Bokuto silently nodded and left his apartment, he felt only relief.
There was an eerie calm that settled in the wake of Bokuto’s departure. You came back from your date-not-date with Kuroo in infinitely better spirits than when you left, back to skipping around the apartment while humming a tune only you could hear, and the morning’s debacle was already long forgotten.
Kuroo, unsurprisingly, became quite determined to attach himself to your hip, with a new sense of comfort and a different sort of tension that Akaashi didn’t feel like addressing. It seemed the encounter with Bokuto had added fuel to more than one fire, and if Kuroo was trying to hide his feelings before, he wasn’t bothering to do so now. Akaashi’s caught the way Kuroo looks at you more than once, and it’s even given him butterflies more than he cared to admit.
Bokuto eventually apologized, and he’d even started bringing Hikari around more. She really was a sweet girl, clearly putting in the effort to get to know Bokuto’s friends. She even desperately tried to ignore Bokuto’s longing looks at a certain blossoming couple, and Akaashi wished he had the capacity to care just a little bit more about the poor girl Bokuto dragged into the tangled web of his heart.
Alas, he was too busy preparing for the storm.
Akaashi had always been an overthinker. It’s in his nature, something inherent in him that he could never shake no matter how hard he tried. Or it could be the result of his younger days hiding behind his fear, maybe it was something he never actually got over. Akaashi doesn’t know. He doesn’t think he knows much of anything these days.
His useless mind was only searching for ways he could have prevented this. If he pushed you about your feelings earlier, would you have ended up with Bokuto instead of Kuroo? Would it have been the two of you laughing and dancing, pouring honey in each others’ ear in a crowded room like no one was watching?
If not for Akaashi, would Bokuto have ever even realized you were in love with him? Were it not for him, would it have eaten away at Bokuto’s very heart until he attacked his own best friend? Akaashi should have kept his mouth shut. If he did, then maybe you might have actually allowed yourself to enjoy being with Kuroo, to let him romance you in the way he’s been aching to do, to let yourself fall in the way you’ve been afraid to for so long.
And if he did, then maybe he wouldn’t have found Bokuto’s white-knuckled fists gripping Kuroo’s shirt in the middle of a stunned crowd, drenched in sticky alcohol and hair in disarray while you were crying in the corner. Hikari wouldn’t have been sobbing in the back of a dirty taxi, fighting the bile rising in her throat from the betrayal of the one meant to love her most.
He wouldn’t have had to drag you home, too stunned into silence to fight him. He was thankful for that, because he knows that if you had seen the look on Kuroo’s face as everyone he loved left him soaked, eyes stinging, and alone… Akaashi would have deserved that punch you’d throw in his face.
There were a plethora of things he wished he said, things he could have done. They played through his mind like an endless reel of maybes and what ifs and would haves over and over again as if determined to drive him insane.
He’s not sure what to do now. He’s not sure if he should even do anything. He was tired, he hadn't eaten in at least twenty seven hours, and when he looked in the mirror that morning, he cringed at the deep purple color that encircled his eyes.
The coffee maker beeped loudly, and Akaashi mindlessly grabbed his mug from the cabinet. His eyes were unfocused, relying on his muscle memory to grab the oat milk creamer from the fridge and mixing in his preferred amount of sugar.
The morning was calm, a stark contrast from the evening before, and Akaashi’s been awake for a lot longer than he’d care to admit. He stirred his spoon in circles, watching the whorls of milk blend into inky water. This was his fourth cup. Four times he’s brewed a fresh pot, hoping to have one ready for you once you step out of your room. Four times the coffee had turned cold, and he watched it swirl against the steel of his sink as he poured it down the drain. Four times he’s walked to the counter to brew a fresh pot again.
He winced when he took a sip, coffee burning his tongue, like one last insult to his injuries. By now, he’s already used up more than half the bag of coffee beans you brought home from work just the other day. He hated being wasteful. He hated drinking more than one cup before he could even eat his breakfast. He hated waiting for you alone with nothing but the sugar granules littering his dining table to keep him company.
He hated the silence in his apartment. He hated the 53 missed calls on his phone from Kuroo and Bokuto. He hated that he was the one who sent Bokuto into a downward spiral. He hated every single face that did nothing but gawked with their phones out while two men – who had never so much as raised their voices at each other – looked like they were two seconds away from ripping each other's throat out.
He hated everything.
But he would still do it all over again. Let the fire he had unknowingly started burn their slate clean. If it means peace, if it means freedom from the cage they built around themselves… then he’d do it all over again, for his friends.
And once it grows cold, Akaashi will brew another pitcher of coffee. He will make himself another cup.
And he will sit in this chair, and he will wait until he sees you walking out that door.
The sun was nearing its peak when you finally woke up.
You cursed yourself for forgetting to draw all your curtains last night, and you squinted against the harsh rays of sun now beating down on your face.
It was an effort to open your eyes. There was crust lining your waterline, stinging your lashes when you tried to flutter them open. Your lids still felt heavy and swollen, and you barely won the battle of keeping them open.
Your head was throbbing, so loudly that it was the only thing you could hear. You dig into your temples with the heel of your palm, groaning as you positioned yourself to sit up. You run your hands along the rumpled sheets until your fingers hit something hard. You dig through a little more, closing your eyes and bracing yourself as you grab your phone.
Dead. Only a black screen stared back, no matter how many times you pressed the buttons. You tossed the phone back on the mattress just as you flopped yourself back down, the both of you landing on the sheets like a useless brick.
You should probably charge the damn thing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to disturb the morning’s peace just yet. You doubt you’d find another moment of it the second you get out of this bed.
Instead, you bury your fingers into your own hair, twisting your body around until your face is buried in your pillow, and you fight the urge to scream into it, too worried that the extra strain might actually cause you to hurl your guts out.
Not yet.
You burrowed even deeper into your sheets, wrapping the blankets around yourself until you were nothing more than a cocoon of self-preservation. Because you weren’t ready to face it. The betrayal you were unknowingly the center of, the years of friendship that was splintered in a matter of seconds, the broken hearts of the people you cherished the most. You weren’t ready to face any of it. Not yet.
As if the cowardly admission was some sort of key, memories began to flood through wide open gates in your head, soaking you all over again with sticky alcohol and salty tears. You tried to push it back, tried to cover yourself, like holding an umbrella in a hurricane. But the waves of memory overpowered you, knocking you off your feet each time you remembered Kuroo’s wide-eyed, vacant look as he watched Akaashi haul you away.
Kuroo.
Tetsuro.
Even a mere whisper of his name still sends shocks through your nerves, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand straight. The thought of him consumed you so easily, so wholly, like he was a blanket of calm that smothered all your raging thoughts until there was only him. Everything about him made you so dizzy, light headed and out of breath.
Every time you hear his voice, so rich and creamy, it coats all over you like something luxurious on your skin. Forcing yourself to pretend that you’re not breathing in his scent whenever he’s near, pretend that cedar and smoke and warm amber don’t haunt your dreams – it was a tremendous effort on your part to keep yourself sane, to keep yourself from free-falling into the rabbit hole that was Kuroo Tetsuro.
But last night… You could have dreamt all you wanted about what it would be like to have him look at you with shaky breaths and dilated pupils and ask if he could kiss you, and it still wouldn’t have amounted to anything close to actually having him in front of you. It made you want to laugh almost as much as it made you want to cry, because of course Kuroo Tetsuro could make reality surpass fantasy.
You wished the memories could have stopped there, that your night ended with the only kiss that has ever made you feel like you were in the clouds.
But fate was almost as cruel as life.
It was difficult to explain how it felt, for everything to finally click into place while also spiraling into confusion.
You understood with painful clarity why Hikari hated you, why she acted like you were a pebble in her shoe, and looked at you as if your very existence was an eyesore. You remembered that fight with Bokuto, and the tension that never went away even after the two of you reconciled – all the times Bokuto’s mood would plummet at the mere mention Kuroo, each time you ignored the frustrated glances he threw towards the both of you, hoping you were simply imagining things.
Because what reason could Bokuto possibly have to act that way? You thought about it over and over, and could never come up with an adequate conclusion.
Now, your willful ignorance has finally come to pay its retribution, a sort of cosmic joke that you were sure some powers above found absolutely hilarious – because Bokuto Kotaro was in love with you. In love. With you. Has been, apparently, for … you didn’t even want to think of how long, couldn’t comprehend the implication of his confession.
A confession that you vividly remember praying for, words that your heart has longed for and ached to hear. Cried for in the silent void of your bedroom, hoped for in your fractured soul, because for so long, you waited, even just for a sliver for a chance for Bokuto to actually see you as more than a friend, more than just the overbearing manager who followed him to college.
It almost kills you to know that he was waiting for the same thing.
For a moment, you envisioned it. The life you could have had with Bokuto – walking around campus tucked beneath his arm, registering for classes that fit each other’s schedule, wearing his jersey when you watch his games. Maybe you would have joined the team as a manager, and there wouldn’t have been a second you wouldn’t spend together. Bokuto probably wouldn’t have even waited for the first year to end before convincing you to move in with him. The apartment would have been small, but he wouldn’t ever miss a single dinner together.
Every morning, you’d wake up to an empty bedroom, but by the time you prepared two steaming mugs of coffee, Bokuto would have already returned from his morning run. He’d kiss you and embrace you, and you’d get ready for the day together, leave your home together, and come home together.
Grief is peppered through every thought like weeds, mourning for the time lost and each memory that never happened. It would have been a beautiful life together. It would have been filled with love, laughter, and happiness so bright, just imagining it made your eyes burn.
The smell of fresh coffee permeated through the musty, stale air of your bedroom. You could almost see the trail of the scent wafting through the open seams of your door, snaking through the smog until it wrapped around you like a warm embrace. It beckoned you like a familiar friend, so enticing that it actually spurred you to sit back up.
Suddenly, you felt your stomach grumble and the dryness in your mouth felt like ash, as if the smell of arabica beans was that first fallen domino that had all your issues tumbling into each other. You ignored the rush of nausea churning in your stomach that had nothing to do with the amount of alcohol you drank last night, and swung your legs over the side of your bed, feet absently shuffling against the wooden floor until they found your slippers.
You stifled a groan as you stood, and dragged your feet across the room slowly. You snatched the thin robe you kept hung over your computer chair, and wrapped it tightly around your body, taking a deep breath as you closed your fingers around the door knob and twisted it open.
You nearly choked on the wave of aroma that rushed at you so fast, you might have thought you were stepping into an actual roastery instead of your own living room. You half expected to see Akaashi standing over a heated pan, vigorously stirring beans until they turned brown – or however the hell one would roast coffee, you seriously had no idea.
Instead, you found him standing in front of the coffee maker you bought for him two Christmases ago, hands on his hips and foot tapping on the floor. The machine was bubbling and hissing as the coffee dripped slowly into the pot, and the counter was an abhorrent mess that you’ve quite literally never seen Akaashi make in the entire time you’ve lived with him.
“Did you open up some sort of… cafe in our apartment that I wasn’t aware of,” You tried to keep your voice light and playful, but the words scratched at your throat, and they came out sounding tired and rough.
Akaashi could have broken his neck with the speed he turned around, shooting an arm out to catch himself on the counter when his momentum threatened to hurtle his body too far. He regarded you with wide, tired eyes, coffee staining his shirt in four different places, and you had a strange feeling that if you reached up and tried to run your fingers through his hair, you would find a bird’s egg nestled somewhere deep within. He looked – and you were putting this nicely – like absolute shit.
You tried to smile, and his gaze immediately softened, lips coming together into a tight line. And you regretted any previous thoughts you might have had about the malnourished vibe he was putting down., because the pathetic way he looked at you definitely said that you looked about a million times worse.
“I thought I’d give it a try,” he said softly, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter, “It can’t be that hard, can it? Especially with an experienced barista in the vicinity.”
You clicked your tongue, and gave Akaashi a mocking glare, “You wouldn’t be able to afford my skills and services.”
Akaashi brought a finger up to his lip in faux-thought, and you felt your heart flutter when he opened his arms wide, “I can pay with warm, comforting, and gentle embraces?”
You shook your head, and your slippers slapped against the wooden floor as you hurriedly made your way across the room and crashed into Akaashi’s arms.
“Can’t you be normal and just call it a hug?” Your voice was muffled against his chest, “Who the hell calls it an embrace these days?”
He pulled you against him even tighter, “Literary geniuses, that’s who.”
A chuckle softly escaped from your lips and vibrated against Akaashi’s chest, and it felt like a tether had been snapped. Even more giggles tumbled out, and the fact that Akaashi was not laughing somehow made it even more funnier – made what funnier, you actually had no idea, though at this point you could hear how unhinged your laughter actually sounded. But you couldn’t hold it back, and you laughed until your belly ached, and tears formed on the corners of your eyes.
You laughed until the laughter felt like acid burning up your throat, and the tightness of it made it difficult to breathe. The tears that pooled in your eyes now flowed freely down your cheeks, and there was no stopping it then, not when you choked out a sob, clutched at the fabric of Akaashi’s shirt and cried. While Akaashi rested one hand on the back of your head, and stroked small circles around your back with the other, you wept and you cried. Cried and cried and cried.
Whatever restraint you’d been keeping against your heart was undone by the strength of Akaashi’s arms around you, and knowing that he was there to hold you together… it was enough to have you falling apart.
You don’t know how long the two of you stood in that kitchen for. It could have been a few minutes. It could have been a few hours. Akaashi didn’t falter, didn’t move a single inch. Through each shuddering sob, every heaving gasp for air, Akaashi had stayed. He waited until the shaking subsided, and your breathing evened out, and there was not a single tear left to cry.
You weren’t sure how much time had passed before you peeled yourself away from his embrace, wiping your entire face with the sleeve of your robe. You backed another step, and Akaashi met your swollen, red eyes with his own sunken, tired ones. He tried to smile at you, and tried extremely hard to seem like he wasn’t uncomfortable in his soaked shirt.
“Go change out of that thing,” you said by way of apology, cringing at the mess you’d left behind, “Please.”
For a second, you thought Akaashi might have argued with you. But then his eyes switched from you to the hallway then back again, before he nodded and darted to the direction of his bedroom. You breathed out a laugh and walked to the counter, grabbing a towel from beside the sink and wiping away the coffee grounds that dirtied your usually-immaculate kitchen.
You were sweeping up the stray flecks that littered the floor when Akaashi came barrelling back into the kitchen. Before he said a single word, he snatched the broom violently from your hand.
“Hey, I was –”
You couldn’t finish your sentence, not when Akaashi practically shoves you into a seat at the dining table.
“Stay,” he pointed a finger at you, and you quickly swallowed back the snarky comment you were prepared to throw out. Your eyes just silently followed Akaashi as he fussed around the kitchen, mopping the rest of the floor and shaking his head at you when he realized you’d already cleaned the counters.
He grabbed your favorite mug – drying on the dish rack like it had just been washed after use – then turned to make you a cup of coffee. But when he touched the top of his fingers to the glass body of the pitcher, he frowned. Deeply.
“What’s wrong?” you asked.
“The coffee got cold again,” he grumbled, making you shoot out of your seat and scramble towards him when he yanked the decanter off the hot plate and headed to the sink.
“Stop!” you practically screeched, just barely making it in time to grip his wrist before he could fully pour the contents down the drain. “What the hell are you doing?”
Akaashi just stared. “It’s cold now.”
“So?!” you looked at him like the roles have now been completely reversed, “We can just microwave it or something. You don’t need to throw the whole thing out.” You tried to pry the pitcher out of Akaashi’s hand, but he clutched on tightly.
“I wanted you to have fresh coffee,” he said simply, and you gaped. You looked at him for a second longer before your eyes flick back to the counter that you just cleaned up, and realization washed over you like a gentle shower.
“Did you –” you paused for a second, unsure of how you were going to deal with this situation, “Have you been making a new pot of coffee each time it went cold?”
Akaashi opened his mouth as if to speak, but quickly clamped his lips down to press them into a thin line. You managed to grab the pitcher from Akaashi with no resistance, and rushed to place it back into its proper place on the machine. In your peripherals, you could see a crinkled bag, folded in half and tucked in a corner behind the coffee maker.
“Is that…” you mumbled to yourself before quickly snatching the nearly empty bag from its hiding place, “Keiji!”
He winced slightly when you presented him with the evidence, coffee beans flying astray when you shake the bag in Akaashi’s face.
“I just got this bag, Keiji!” you groaned, lamenting the gallons of your favorite roast undoubtedly swirling through the drainpipes of Tokyo by now. You peeked into the bag, frowning when you saw that only about a fourth of the bag had been saved, “Now I have to wait until next month for the cafe to give me a free one.”
“I wanted you to have –”
“Fresh coffee. I got it,” you sighed, placing two hands on each of Akaashi’s shoulders. Again, he showed no resistance when you pushed him backwards and sat him on your empty chair. He opened his mouth to argue when you grabbed two mugs and poured in the cold coffee, but the glare you shot him was enough to make him shut it. You ignored his searing gaze as it trailed after your every movement, ignored it burning holes in your back while you microwaved the two mugs of coffee, ignored the burn in your throat at the pathetic way he watched you place one mug in front of him, and held the other as you took the empty seat across from him.
You gestured silently to the mug of coffee.
“Drink,” you ordered, and the word made Akaashi instantly grab the handle, “There’s only room for one mental breakdown in this apartment at a time. And I call dibs for today, okay?”
Akaashi couldn’t stop the laughter that broke free, and you couldn’t help but smile at the exasperated way he shook his head. When the two of you lifted your mugs, your eyes met for just a moment, and the smile you shared with your best friend might have been enough to heal your heart.
Then, you took a sip of the coffee, and the moment the dark liquid hit your tongue, you had to fight the cringe, and pretend that the way he burnt this batch didn’t break your heart all over again.
“That’s…” you begin, searching for the words. You coughed instead of finishing your sentence.
Akaashi simply sighed. He reached a hand in his pocket, and pulled out his phone.
“What are you doing?” you asked, watching him slowly slide his fingers up and down the screen.
He gives you a pointed look. “What’s it look like? I’m getting breakfast delivered.”
The sun looked just about ready to set by the time you and Akaashi decided to settle down. Empty take out boxes were piled in the proper compartments of the trash bin, and neither of you have bothered to clean up the crumbs all over the table.
Breakfast had passed by silently, the both of you just content to be in each other’s presence, still sniffling as you shoved entire forkfuls of souffle pancakes from your favorite bakery. You shrieked with delight when you recognized the logo on the bag Akaashi retrieved from the delivery man. You didn’t even scold him for the insane delivery fee he probably had to pay for them to bring it all the way here.
You just crushed him in a tight hug and accepted his kindness with a kiss on the cheek. He sighed in the way you imagined an older brother would about his annoying little sister, despite you being an entire year older. It made you chuckle, especially when he let you break his very strict “no eating in the living room” rule.
If Akaashi had any questions or concerns about the events that transpired last night, he mercifully kept them all to himself. After breakfast, he dug out the kotatsu blanket from the storage closet, and – after screeching to Akaashi that he was banned from making any beverages for at least a month – you brewed some of his favorite green tea.
You laid under that kotatsu with Akaashi for hours, sipping on tea that had long turned lukewarm, talking about things that were of neither importance or relevance. You wasted away the entire day, it seemed, if the setting sun and ombre skies out the windows were of any indication.
Akaashi sat across from you, his back leaning against the foot of the couch. The kotatsu blanket reached up to his waist, and his head lolled lazily to the side as he scrolled mindlessly through his phone. You’d long thrown propriety out the window, though it never is in the room when you’re with Akaashi. You managed to snuggle yourself completely under the kotatsu table, the blanket skirt covering your body while using your seat cushion as a pillow.
Akaashi had gone through tremendous effort to make this day feel as casual as last week’s Sunday morning. You had a niggling feeling that if you let him, then Akaashi would be very content in keeping you inside this bubble of safety and comfort that he’s curated specifically for you. He’d keep the problems that were waiting past these four walls at bay for as long as he possibly could. This, you knew without a shred of doubt.
It was a kindness that you held closely to your heart. One that you knew was the type of kindness that didn’t boast, but wrapped itself around you gently and held you against its chest. The longer you looked at Akaashi, rubbing his finger against his nose and eyes glued to the screen, the more your heart swelled with that affection he generously poured into your cup.
And you knew that because he’s loved you enough to create this bubble, you had to love him enough to pop yourself both out of it.
“Keiji,” your voice felt hoarse from the silence, the words scratching at your throat, “Was I really that blind?”
Akaashi stilled almost imperceptibly, if you hadn’t known him for years, you probably would have missed it. He clicks the button on the side of his phone, and he gently places the black device on the table. He shuffles to move his seat cushion from beneath him and tosses it to the side, settling himself beneath the blanket before laying down to face you.
“You weren’t blind, y/n.”
He said it so gently, probably worried that if he spoke any louder, then you would shatter. It softens your heart as much as it sends a spike of irritation through you.
“Dumb, then? Oblivious? Stupid? Naive? Either way you spin it, it still comes down to my faults, my…” your voice cracks, the traitorous thing, and you stopped to clear your throat, “What word would you use, then, Keiji?”
“Young. Afraid. Hurt,” He says with a lot more force and clarity than you expected, each word striking directly into your heart, “A whole lot of other words before stupid, actually. An entire dictionary’s worth.”
You wanted to wipe that look off his face, really. Eyes misting his usual blue to a foggy gray, and failing to stop his wretched mouth from quivering. How many more people in your life were you going to hurt? You felt pathetic.
You stay silent for a moment before starting, “Bokuto… he must have also been in a lot of pain,” you sighed, turning to supine and training your eyes to the popcorned ceiling, “Everything’s so… fucked up. And it’s all because of me and my stupid ignorance and –”
“Please, stop saying that,” Akaashi groaned loudly, balling a fist into his own hair.
Exasperation floods through you like a tidal wave, it crashes through you viciously and your body shoots itself up into a sitting position before you could even think. You couldn’t hold back the glare at Akaashi before asking him with a bite, “Well, what do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know,” Akaashi answers with a growl, maneuvering himself up to face you, his fists landing helplessly on the table, “but please, stop saying stuff like that, not when–” Akaashi sighed, bring two fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I knew about everything for… a long time.”
You shrugged carelessly as you replied, “Well, yeah. I know I never actually told you, but I thought you figured it out after… the equipment room incident.”
Akaashi pursed his lips together. “Oh, I did. But I wasn’t talking about just you.”
Your eyebrows lifted, opting to stay silent. Akaashi nibbled at his bottom lip in hesitancy, allowing him the time to process through whatever he clearly wanted to say. You brace yourself when you see him taking a slow, deep breath.
“With you, it was… so fucking obvious. And it wasn’t just because you followed him around, or laughed obnoxiously loud at his dumb jokes. If anybody looked at you for longer than five seconds, they’d see it on your face – clear as day. You looked at him like… I don’t know. Like he made all the flowers bloom, or painted the sunset with your favorite colors or something poetic like that.”
“That sounded pretty poetic to me,” you laugh, though it sounded hollow and despondent in its attempt to hide the gut punch Akaashi’s words delivered. Akaashi smiled ruefully, but he continued.
“My point is – you never had to tell me. I knew it. You knew it. We all knew it. Your feelings were never the big secret you thought it was. Bokuto might have been the only person in this world that never picked up on it. And actually, there was a point in time when I genuinely thought he was ignoring them on purpose. Fuck, maybe he did. I never really figured it out. I don’t really think he ever did either. Because with Bokuto…”
Akaashi took the deep breath you’ve been holding the entire time he spoke, and he looked directly at you this time as he spoke.
“I knew he loved you. He loved you, maybe a bit more than he knew what to do with. God, if you only saw how he’d glare at any guy that tried to even look at you. They were ridiculous – hilariously vicious. He always did it behind your back, but it was about as subtle as a flashing neon sign. I don’t know how you never caught him.You followed him around, sure, but he made sure he kept you by his side, never letting you stray too far from him. Because if you weren’t next to him, then he was… lost. It’s stupid but– yeah, I think I knew he loved you, even before he knew it himself. And I could have told him. Should have told him. It would have been easy, quick – ‘Bokuto, Y/N is in love with you’. And he would have gone running. Well, nevermind. It might have taken him a couple days, but when it hit him… I don’t think anything in the world could have stopped him.”
Silver streaks on Akaashi’s face matched the warm tears that trickled down your own, and you tried to catch his gaze but at this point, he stared fixedly down at his lap.
“Keiji…” you called out to him, somehow wrangling his name through the tightness of your throat, because you need him to look at you. Needed him to see that you didn’t blame him, would never even think to. But he doesn’t meet your eyes. Instead, he barrels on.
“But I didn’t. Obviously. I kept my mouth shut, and just watched you two bumble around like idiots. It was, believe it or not, torturous for me. For the longest time, I kept my nose out of your business, because I know what it’s like to… Ahh,” He bows his head, and covers his eyes with the palm of his hand. It took a moment before he wiped his hand away and continued, “I did try once, though. With you. And I felt so completely iced out afterwards, I remembered exactly why I kept out of it for so long.”
He must have sensed the rebuttal at the tip of your tongue, but he interrupts you before you could even start.
“I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I’m telling you this because… I was afraid too. I was scared that if I had kept pushing, then you would have pulled away from me completely. I was scared that Bokuto would think I was overstepping my boundaries. I was scared that it would work out, and the two of you would phase me out of your lives. I was scared it wouldn’t work out, and everything would be…”
His voice trailed off, so you softly finished for him, “Fucked up?”
He finally, finally looked at you then. You reached across the table and held his hand in yours. You felt him stiffen for a second before turning his hand and curling his own fingers around yours. A giggle of relief spills from your lips, and it elicits a chuckle from Akaashi, and the sound blooms within you.
“You guys are my best friends,” Akaashi said, his grip on you tightening just a fraction, “And I saw what you were putting each other through. I was watching it all happen in front of my own eyes. I should have done something more, right? If I had tried harder with you, if I just talked to Bokuto, if I bothered even just a little bit more to get over my shit and helped my friends… Then this never would have happened. And Kuroo… God, Kuroo. He didn’t need me to do a damn thing, he just loved you but still I managed to fuck things up for him and –”
“Shut up!”
Akaashi started a little at your sudden outburst, but it achieved the desired effect. He blinked at you once, then twice. You almost felt a twinge of guilt at your lack of patience, considering all that Akaashi was beginning to unpack in front of you. But weren’t you the one that called dibs on the mental breakdown today? If he thought you were just going to sit there and listen to his blasphemy, then he’s sorely mistaken.
“Don’t you even try to blame any of it on yourself, Keiji,” you spat out, irritated, “How could you even say something so convoluted? How could you even think such a –”
“It’s true, isn’t it?” Akaashi interrupts you fervently, as if desperate to get you to listen to him, “I let my fears hold me back, instead of facing it for the people that mattered to me. I’m just a coward.”
“No, Keiji. You’re not a coward. You…” You let out a heavy breath, all the sharpness in your tone now softening at Akaashi’s deep set frown, “Do you even have any idea how much you saved me? Even though things were… unspoken between us, I knew you understood me. Without me ever having to say a single word, you understood me. And you never judged me or tried to tell me I was wrong. You just… you just held my hand. No matter what happened, good or bad, if I looked to my side, I knew I would see you there. Do you think you’re the only person that notices the little things? I felt your support, and I felt your love. Even when you didn’t say it out loud.”
“But–”
“No more buts, I really don’t want to hear it. You weren’t the one responsible for us,” your eyes were hard, providing no room for arguments, “You were just a kid. What could you have even done? You saw how stubborn I was being! Do you really think I would have listened? You were young, and afraid, and didn’t know any –”
Too late. The words flew out of your mouth quickly, you didn’t even think twice about it. Your guard was down, and you knew that was the most dangerous thing around Akaashi Keiji. Because too slowly did you realize the trap he laid out in front of you. And as the words slipped past your lips, you realized you were already too late. Akaashi was already looking at you with that smug grin.
“It’s not the same, and you know it.”
“No, it’s not,” He chuckled at you as if you weren’t staring daggers at his soul right now, “But if you can afford me that much grace, then I think you owe the same to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. You won’t meet a single person that doesn’t have any regrets. But you can’t let those feelings define you. Only improve you. I know you’re feeling… a lot of shit right now that I probably can’t even begin to process. But it’s what you do with those feelings that matter.” He propped an elbow on the table, and rested his chin in the palm of his halls. “Are you gonna let it keep you down?”
You felt a little stunned, and though Akaashi’s words were simple, you could feel them find their mark. Hot tears pricked at the corner of your eyes yet again, and you didn’t look away from Akaashi as you let them fall. Still, you crossed your arms indignantly and pouted. “I can’t help but feel like I fell for some dirty trick.”
Akaashi laughed this time, waving his hand to beckon you closer to him. You begrudgingly moved from your spot, ignoring the ache in all your joints from your lack of movement, and crawled to sit beside Akaashi. He lifted the kotatsu skirt for you to settle under before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Dirty trick or not, as long as it gets the point across.”
“I understand, Keiji. I do, but still,” you sighed, leaning your head against his shoulder, “It’s difficult not to feel foolish.”
“I know,” Akaashi said as he laid his cheek against your crown, “I know. Fools in love, right?”
You didn’t know what to say, so you chose not to say anything. The lull in conversation allowed you the time to process his words, closing your eyes to feel everything you’d been avoiding the entire day. With a deep inhale, and a slow exhale, you silently search for the strength to let it all go.
A buzz on the table catches your attention. Akaashi makes a point to ignore the notification, even more so when it buzzes again.
The sight of his phone only served to remind you of your own, sitting dead and silent somewhere in the corner of your room for the entire day, of the calls that went straight to voicemail, of the messages that are unanswered – of the two men on the other side of line, waiting to see which way their world is about turn.
“Have you heard from…”
Akaashi lets out a snort through his nose. “Oh, yes, I have. I’m probably dead for ignoring all the calls and texts. But I needed to make sure you were alright before I answered anything.”
You chuckle, moving out of Akaashi’s one-armed embrace and sitting up to face him fully. “I love you, Keiji. I’d pick you if you were in love with me too, you know. What do you say? Wanna throw a towel in the ring?”
Akaashi laughed, loud and brash and genuine, and for the first time that day, you actually believed that everything will be alright. “I love you too, y/n. But I’d rather die.”
You nudged him hard with your elbow before standing up, leaving Akaashi to rub the sore spot while you stretched out your sore limbs. “I guess it’s time to stop hiding now, right?”
“Yeah…” Akaashi trails off, and you wait for him to ask the question you could see had been brewing in his mind for hours, “What are you gonna do?”
The question shoots a pang of loneliness through you. Because no matter what decision you make, everything will change. Your friendships will not walk away unscathed, and there will never be going back to the way things were. This was irrefutable, and that thought alone should terrify you, should make you want to scramble back on your knees and beg the gods to turn back time. Yet, it doesn’t.
No, instead you’re filled with a sense of clarity that you’re not sure you’ve ever felt before. It pained you to know that you’ll hurt the people that matter to you the most, but not as much as it would pain you to know that you weren’t being true to yourself.
It was time for you to choose your own happiness.
“Nothing’s changed for me, Keiji. I’ve always known what I was gonna do. Whether this truth came out or stayed hidden forever… my answer is going to be the same.” You smiled sadly as you spoke to Akaashi, and he offered nothing but an understanding nod, “From now on, for me, it’s always going to be him.”
✧: @kawaii-angelanne @boosyboo9206 @theglitterypages @rntrsuna @vinsmouke @chi-anpan @jinadamsel @kowalsqq @arcorjoan @galaxyfloater3
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A Star
You had a personal problem with Bokuto Koutarou.
Let’s see…where did it begin?
Probably when he crashed into you in 2nd grade and made you drop your ice cream. The school gave them out during lunch on Fridays and you had been looking forward to your double chocolate ice cream cup all week. You had walked outside to join your friends when you were suddenly harshly pushed forward.
“Oh sorry!” A boy brightly said, briefly glancing at you. He was laughing at another boy that was chasing after him and they took off towards the field.
You were too stunned to move. If you had known how to swear, you probably would have uttered a “what the FUCK?”
“I thought you had gone to get ice cream?” your friend questioned as you made your way to the table. “What’s wrong??”
Tears streaked down your face and you just held out your now empty ice cream cup at her.
“Some stupid boy ran into me,” you said sniffling and your small hand was clenched in anger, “And didn’t even care to stop! That’s so rude!”
She handed you a tissue. “Was he in our grade?”
“I don’t know,” you said, blowing your nose. “He has grey hair, yellow eyes, and is kinda tall?”
“Oh,” your friend giggled. “That’s probably Bokuto. He’s the boy in the class beside us - the one who kinda looks like an owl.”
You thought for a second. All you remembered about the class next door is that they sounded rowdy.
“Stupid owl,” you muttered and left to throw the cup away.
*****************************
After that, it seemed like the universe was purposefully trying to make your life more difficult by using a certain owl boy as it means. Every time you forgot about Bokuto’s existence in your life, he would pop up again.
As in, he literally popped up once.
In 3rd grade, you had been walking down the garden path beside the school building when all of a sudden you heard a loud “BOO” and a head shot up from behind a hedge.
Naturally, you let out a shriek and promptly fell on your butt.
“Oh shoot,” the grey-haired boy said, bounding towards you. “I thought you were Teru.”
You grimaced. Of course it was Bokuto.
In 4th grade, you, against your good judgement, lent him your pack of markers while everyone made posters during class. He handed them back only for you to find the majority of them dried out.
In 5th grade, for some reason the school thought it would be a good idea for them to make co-ed classes. Naturally, Bokuto was not only in your class, but assigned your partner for a project. When he showed up with half the essay ripped into pieces, you sat speechless as he said, “My dog ate my homework.” You couldn’t even yell at him for lying. Knowing him, a dog really did eat his homework.
But, by some small miracle, you had gone to separate middle schools. You continued happily throughout your school days, forgetting all about the chaotic boy. Studying, making friends, going to club activities - life was good. Before you knew it, you were graduating and heading to high school.
You strolled down the halls proudly in your new, crisp uniform. It had been a couple days since you started Fukurodani and you were enjoying it. The school had a great academic program so you were ready to get into your studies and you liked the general vibe of the place when you visited their open house.
You were supposed to meet your friend outside her classroom before school started and you were looking upward, checking the classroom numbers as you walked and sipped your juice (aka your breakfast).
Ah, found it. You began to walk towards the classroom when you found yourself suddenly harshly pushed forward.
“What the FUCK?” Your juice had tipped and the orange liquid ran down the front of your shirt. You spun around to give the person a piece of your mind, but the only words that you managed to get out were, “Are you kidding me?”
Grey hair, yellow eyes, and a VERY tall figure.
“Oh shoot, I’m so sorry!,” Bokuto’s eyes were wide. “Er hold on, let me get some tissues or something, I can - .”
You held up a hand, internally grimacing, but forcing a smile on your lips. “No worries! I have a handkerchief in my bag so I can use that.”
He frowned. “But your shirt….you should take my blazer to cover it at least.”
“It’s fine, really Bokuto-san,” you waved him off again. “I have gym clothes I can change into.”
Your forced smile grew wider and you continued to the classroom.
Your friend had come out to see what all the commotion was about and was greeted with the sight of you, empty juice bottle in hand and orange stains on your shirt. Her eyes widened in concern and then noticed the boy standing behind you. She looked again at your dishevelled figure and then back at him. You strolled straight past her and muttered a dark, “Don’t you dare say anything.”
Your friend from elementary school burst out into laughter.
And honestly? You wished you could have said that was the end of Bokuto’s presence in your life.
Instead, he seemed adamant to establish himself there.
“HI y/n!”
“Man, that exam was super hard wasn’t it?”
“Hey did you know I play volleyball? Do you like volleyball??”
“Hey we won our match yesterday! Naturally I scored the most.”
“Hey do you think I can borrow your notes sometime? You seem super organised.”
Hey. Hey. HEY.
“Help me,” you whimpered, clutching at your friend’s shirt collar. “I can’t escape.”
“Maybe he likes you,” she giggled and you shuddered in response. “This is definitely harassment. But like friendly harassment so I can’t even say anything without looking like an asshole. Maybe he’s secretly manipulative and this is all just a set-up for me to lose my shit and make me look crazy to the entire grade.”
“Hi y/n!” You didn’t even jump in surprise anymore at the voice that suddenly appeared beside you.
“Hi Bokuto,” you said weakly.
Your friend nudged you. “No Bokuto-san?” She whispered gleefully.
“I lost that battle,” you whispered defeatedly.
“Wow y/n you’re always carrying books in your arms.”
“Well they don’t all fit in my bag.”
“Ohh gotcha.” His eyes suddenly grew wide. “Wait, are we supposed to have that many books???”
“No Bokuto-sa- I mean Bokuto. I’m just doing some outside studying.”
The boy relaxed and grinned happily in relief, giving you slight whiplash from the mood swing.
“Well you were always super smart so that makes sense.”
You looked at him with a confused expression and he continued.
“I mean, you always got the top grades at our elementary school.”
So he does remember me. Is that why he’s harassing me? Is this revenge for something I did back then? You desperately wracked your brain for something you might have done.
“You remember me?”
“Of course,” he smiled. “You’re the pretty girl who was always in the library after school.”
You weren’t expecting to hear that.
“Do you remember me?” He pointed excitedly at himself.
“Er yeah, we worked on a project together I think.”
Bokuto made a face. “Oh yeah when my dog ate my homework,” he said with a serious expression.
You couldn’t keep a straight face and started laughing. This boy was absolutely ridiculous.
“Why are you laughing??? I worked really hard on that,” he pouted. “I put down my bagel on the papers for like 2 seconds! How was I supposed to know the dog was going to try and eat both.”
Why. Just why.
You kept shaking in laughter and he suddenly looked at you with a triumphant expression on his face.
“What?” you said, fingers coming up to wipe at the moisture forming at the corners of your eyes.
“I’ve never heard you laugh before.” His eyes were bright. “It sounds nice.”
Okay, so maybe Bokuto wasn’t that bad.
You started to wave back at him when he greeted you from afar and stopped to have actual conversations with him. A couple of times, you visited practice to see what all the hype was about and was stunned when you saw him play. You helped toss balls for him to spike one night after giving in to his begging and while you were impressed, you nearly died trying to keep up with how long he practised for. You ended up dragging him out - or well attempted to. He stood there, smirking, while you pushed him with all your strength and didn’t move him a single inch.
You learned he was moody (which you could see coming) but were surprised to find out that he could pick himself back up just as quickly as he was down. The world shined brightly through Bokuto’s eyes. He was honest, saw the best in everybody and genuinely supported his friends.
You started eating lunch together and one day your friend had plopped down beside you, stealing a pretzel from your bag.
“Are you going to the festival next week?” She asked.
Your lips formed a pout. “I was going to go with both you and Miku but you guys just had to go and get boyfriends and double date.”
“You can still come! It’ll be fun!”
“Thanks, but I don’t want to 5th wheel,” you said drily.
“Well,” she smirked, “You could always ask that senpai to go with you.” Your face grew hot and you spluttered that there was no way you’d do that.
“C’mon,” she continued. “Takao-senpai would definitely say yes. You know he has a soft spot for you.”
“Is that the tall one with glasses,” Bokuto asked, his voice slightly muffled by the huge bite of bread he had just taken.
“Yep, the one that our y/n-chan has been spending so much time with lately,” your friend continued to tease. Your crush on your senpai was painfully obvious as you couldn’t help but talk to him with heart eyes whenever you saw him. He’d already helped tutor you outside of school a few times and you both stayed after you were done to just hang out…it wouldn’t hurt to ask right?
“I’ll think about it,” you reluctantly said, which earned a squeal in response.
“Bokuto-kun,” she turned to him. “Are you going too?”
He sipped his juice box aggressively before replying, “No, we have practice that night.”
“I’m sure you guys can get one night off?”
“No time to take days off,” he said, puffing his chest out. “We’re gonna win nationals!”
“I’m holding you to that,” you remarked and he grinned. “Come watch us so you can witness how awesome I look in a big stadium.” You rolled your eyes and were relieved the topic changed as the rest of lunch was spent with Bokuto detailing how exactly Fukurodani was going to crush the other teams.
But, sadly, your friend kept pushing you afterward to talk to your senpai about the festival and all of a sudden, you were standing in front of him.
“Senpai,” you pursed your lips and your eyes were shyly cast downward.
“Hi y/n! What did you need to talk to me about?”
It was cheesy, but you asked your hot senpai to meet you behind the school building after classes ended. Your hands were shaking so you clutched them together in front of you, trying to ignore the nausea you felt because of your nervousness.
“Are you going to the festival on Friday?”
“I am! The whole school seems to be talking about it. Seems like a lot of people are using it as a chance to score a date,” he said, giving you a wink. Your heart raced even faster. This was it. This was your chance!
“I noticed that too!” you flinched at your over-excited tone. Taking a deep breath to compose yourself, you continued. “So along those lines, I was wondering if you’d like to go together?”
His face was surprised for a moment, and then your heart dropped at the uncomfortable expression that morphed on his face.
“Oh,” he said, “I thought you’d be going with Bokuto-kun?”
“Huh?? Why would you think that?”
He tilted his head in confusion. “Aren’t you two dating?”
“Absolutely not!” He jumped at your loud voice. “We’re just friends!”
“Oh,” he repeated and shuffled awkwardly. “I didn’t know that so I asked a girl in my class to go instead. Er, you could ask Bokuto-kun to go now? I’m sure he would say yes.”
“He has practice that night,” you said flatly. You weren’t sure whether to be more mad or dejected at the moment.
“Hmm,” the boy tapped his lips. “You could always hang out with us?”
And crash your date? You felt humiliated. Did you look so pitiful that it seemed that you would be okay with following him and his date around? You felt irritation slowly rise in you.
“That’s okay Senpai,” you said with what was hopefully a reassuring smile. “I can go with my friends.”
He returned your smile and ruffled your hair. “Great! I’ll see you there then!”
You watched him walk away, heart pounding due to an entirely different emotion this time. You were furious. Once again, Bokuto was messing with your life.
Distantly, you knew that you were just reacting badly to the rejection. It wasn’t his fault there was a misunderstanding. But you still felt irrationally irritated so you blamed him and made your way to the front gates to go home and cool yourself down.
The universe, yet again, had other plans.
“Y/N!”
Please not now. I might start crying if you talk to me right now.
A heavy arm was slung over your shoulders as your ball of sunshine leaned against you.
Don’t lash out. It’s not his fault.
“Did your senpai say yes??”
You swallowed anxiously. He took your silence as affirmation.
“I told you!” He clapped you on your back. “He had no reason to say no to you!”
“...but he did.”
“Oh,” he stopped walking as you did.
“He thought I was going with you.”
There was a pause. “We can just tell him that it’s a misunderstanding,” he said in a hopeful tone.
“He’s going with someone else. He asked out some girl in his class and,” it was getting harder to keep your tears at bay. “And now they’re probably going to end up dating and I won’t be able to see him anymore!”
Bokuto slumped a little and bit his lip, trying to think of something to say. “Hey maybe we - “
“Ugh just stop! You’re so annoying! From the moment I first met you, you’ve caused trouble. You made me drop my ice cream, scared me, ruined our project, broke my markers, made me spill juice all over me, and harassed me for WEEKS.”
“And now,” you said, your tears finally falling down your face, “You ruined my chance to have a date for the festival.”
The yellow-eyed boy stood speechless in front of you. A rush of wind swept by and orange leaves fell from a nearby tree.
“I - I’m sorry y/n. I didn’t realise - “
“It’s whatever Bokuto,” you said, releasing a deep breath. “I should be used to it by now right?” You gave him an empty chuckle. “Sorry, I’m just in a really bad mood. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
You turned and sped walked away, leaving a droopy-haired Bokuto still rooted to the spot.
******************************
A couple of days passed and you hadn’t talked to Bokuto since then. To be honest, you were avoiding him because you felt guilty rather than irritated. It was hard to forget the look on his face after you were done wringing him out.
And then one morning you walked into your classroom and saw something on your desk.
A pack of markers (specifically the kind you used in elementary school) was placed on top. When you picked it up, a small slip of paper was lying underneath. The corners of your lips upturned as you saw it was a coupon for an ice cream shop you liked. You flipped it around to see Bokuto’s scrawled handwriting on the back.
I know you’re mad but can you meet me by the gym during lunch?
When you did go to see him, he seemed more fidgety than normal and kept shifting from one foot to another.
“What do you want?” You winced as your voice came out harsher than you intended.
He flinched and for a second, the burly boy looked incredibly small.
“I wanted to say sorry. Again.” You opened your mouth but he cut you off. “And to ask if you wanted to go to the festival with me.”
“Come again?”
“I know I’m not your favourite person right now” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “But I want to make everything I’ve done up to you and I promise to make it fun!”
What kind of logic was this. He had some balls to ask someone who he thought was angry with him out.
You looked at him and that’s all it took for you to have an answer.
Pink dusted his cheeks, and he kept trying to make eye contact with you, but his eyes kept darting away as soon as they met yours. His eyebrows were furrowed and his expression sorrowful. He looked like a giant puppy that had just been scolded.
It was cute.
You sighed. “Okay, let’s go together.”
“Really??” He said instantly perking up. Your eyes widened a fraction as he suddenly straightened up from his slumped position and nearly started bouncing in excitement.
“I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour!” He said with a wide smile and gave you a thumbs up.
***************************
Before you knew it, you found yourself currently sitting down on a patch of grass, listening to the hum of conversations from the people on picnic blankets near you and the smell of food from the stalls behind you wafting through the air.
You savoured the taste of cold chocolate on your tongue, one hand clutching a plastic spoon and the other holding a green cup.
“Chocolate again?” Bokuto complained. “They have so many flavours. You should try something different!”
“I’m sorry my taste buds can handle only so much variety,” you said frowning. “And at least I don’t spend forever trying to decide what I want.”
Bokuto pouted and you poked his cheek. “Maybe I still have trauma from you knocking me over.”
He smiled sheepishly in response. “Remember when you used to hate me in first-year?”
“You mean when I hated you until first-year?”
He flinched and you laughed, running your hands through his grey hair. He looked comical lying his head in your lap when he was so big he barely fit on the blanket.
“I made it up to you didn’t I?” He whined and turned his head to look up at you. Your gaze flickered down to his and your lips pursed.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you back then. It wasn’t your fault I got rejected.”
“I told you to stop apologising about that. Honestly, I don’t really remember it very well.” You believed him - it wasn’t in his nature to let something like that bother him for too long. That didn’t mean you didn’t still feel bad about it though.
“Besides,” he made a face. “I may have not had the best timing that day.”
You snorted in response. He gazed at your amused face, eyes twinkling, hair swept to one side, and the pink sunset behind your head. His heart swelled and wished he could stop time, just to enjoy this for a moment longer.
“It’s our last festival,” you said as if you read his mind.
He pouted and said in a childish tone, “No. We’re definitely coming back.”
You giggled. “Okay, our last festival as high school students.” There was a brief silence and you bit your lip. “But it might take a while until we can come back.”
He took one of your hands in his own and held it against his cheek. “I don’t mind. Just promise you’ll come back to me?”
“If you’ll be here.”
“Of course,” he said instantly. “Two years is nothing. Well I mean it is a long time, but any time without you seems long.” He began rambling about how he was going to facetime you everyday while you were studying abroad and how you were going to spend the rest of university in Tokyo anyway, so you could make up for the lost time plenty when you came back.
You smiled fondly at the boy you’d fallen in love with over the past couple of years. Yes, he was still chaotic and often still irritated you sometimes with his antics, but you grew to be fond of them as well. You felt how warm his heart is, and how being loved by him felt as if you had one of the bright, shining stars in the night sky on your side.
You leaned down to brush your lips against his forehead, effectively stopping his monologue. He lifted his hand, pinky sticking out. “Promise in two years we’ll be right back here.”
You gave him a warm smile and hooked your pinky around his.
“Pinky promise.”
#thisiswhatiwroteinsteadofmyexamprep#help#neverthoughtidwriteforbo#oh well#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu angst#bokuto kotaro#bokuto x reader#bokuto angst#bokuto fluff#hq bokuto#bokuto fic
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Swallow Your Pride
The one in which y/n’s pride is too big but Bokuto’s heart is even bigger.
CW: Heavy angst,reader is a silly goose and can’t express their emotions, gender neutral reader
A/N: I was feeling really sad when i wrote this and i thought, why not make everyone else sad with me!
The silence is deafeningly loud. Your eyes scan the room avoiding the figure standing staring directly at you. You can’t bring yourself to look at him. You can’t look at the tears that threaten to fall down his cheeks. This isn’t you. These harsh words aren’t your own. Your mouth falls open and you want to scream a thousand apologies but you can’t seem to form the correct words.
“Say something” you voice. It's all that you can manage to think of.
Perhaps ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t in your vocabulary. No, that’s not it. If you apologize now you’ll have to admit to being the one in the wrong. Your pride is far too big for that.
“What do you want me to say?” Bokuto’s wide eyes stare at you. Confusion is laced in his voice. You practically hold his heart in your hand and his eyes are begging for you not to break it.
“Something.” You say and for once your eyes finally meet his and you regret every decision you’ve ever made. Bokuto is hesitant. He lifts his arm as if to reach out to you. You take a step back. Why did you step back?
“You said that you-” he begins
“I know what I said” your voice comes out sharp. Bokuto looks at you with a face covered in disbelief. You can’t even listen to your own words being repeated back to yourself.
“Have I done something?” His words are soft. If the silence of your shared apartment wasn’t enough to break you then the crack in his voice is.
“What?” you ask.
“To make you fall out of love with me? Have I done something?”
You could tell him that he hasn’t done anything. You could tell him that you’d never stop loving him. You could even tell him that the same way you hold his heart he holds yours but you won’t. You won’t because you’ve never been one to admit to being wrong so why start now?
“I-”
“If I have I’m sorry” he pleads
“Stop” you whisper the words
“I’ll listen more” he continues
“Kou” You’ve been holding back tears but you can’t any longer.
“I’ll do anything just-” he’s cut off by his own cry “Please don’t stop loving me”
“I …” Just say you’re sorry. “I can’t do this anymore.” your voice is barely above a whisper.
The moment your eyes meet with Bokuto’s you realize the words you can never take back. Pride is a dangerous thing, something so dangerous that it can destroy the greatest of all loves.
#Bokuto Koutarou#bokuto x reader#bokuto angst#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto fic#hq bokuto#bokuto#please forgive me#lmaooooo#this isnt even funny
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your lips, my lips
pairing: Bokuto Koutaro x Reader
synopsis: Slow dancing with your husband, surrounded by the nature and everything that is love
tags: Fluff, Marriage, Just Bokuto being the sweetest husband, NOT PROOF READ
w.c : 0.6k
a/n: Hello! this is for the collab from Champagne Kisses by @tahdashi I'm so sorry for posting, literally at the end of the deadline but life was so busy this past few months, but a deadline is a deadline! I hope y’all enjoy this :)
The dress starts to feel heavy on your skin, and the excitement you felt from the moment you said I do are slowly subsiding, sizzling into a sense of calmness. You could feel the warmth of your lovely husband’s strong, bulky arms as you listen to him laughing away with the last of the guests who’s saying their farewells and congratulations. A smile etched itself on your face as the couple wave goodbye and bowed to the both of you, which you and Koutarou exchanges.
You could feel Kou releasing a heavy sigh of relief as he turns around to you. “I thought weddings would be a piece of cake babe!”. He confessed while leading your locked arms to the centre of the dance floor. “Turns out this is more tiring than my daily volleyball drills”. You chuckled at him as he unlatches the locked arms, standing in front of you with his beaming smile.
You looked up, staring into his huge eyes and the wide smile, the love you feel for this man overflows. Koutarou truly looks the most handsome he ever been tonight; his grey tuxedo with his slicked back hair, and that beautiful, beautiful smile of his that you had always love. What you didn’t know is how Koutarou is also cherishing your looks, and exclaiming to the stars on how ethereal you are.
He could remember the moment you walked down the aisle and how for the first time in his life, he felt like time slows down, and his focus is completely at you. Your white wedding dress, the veil covering your face slightly though it didn’t cover your sweet smile. It was instant, the tears brimming in his eyes because it felt very real at that point. He’s marrying you, the love of his life, the one who he seeks in the crowds during his games, and the very person who held him up through so, so much. His chest swelled with joy and complete love for you, as Akaashi hands him a handkerchief to wipe his tears away.
You and Koutarou could hear the music plays, a slowed instrumental of Apocalypse by Cigarattes After Sex. Gently, and slowly, Koutarou held onto your waist, bringing you closer to him as the butterflies’ flutter in your stomach. Your hands glide itself to his neck, interlocking your fingers behind it as you give him a shy smile. Then after a few seconds, you could feel your body being swayed gently by your husband, his wide smile stays on his face while looking down at you.
You’re so glad that you decided to have an outdoor wedding because gosh, Koutarou in a tuxedo, with the stars twinkling above him felt like a dream. The smell of the grass and his cologne mixes so well, it feels intoxicating to be so close to him, yet you don’t mind. If anything, you wish to be engulfed and swallowed by his scents, his warmth, his love, him, him, him. Koutarou swears that his heart is probably broken. It kept on beating so hard that he could hear it in his eardrums, at times, he wonders if you could actually hear and feel it too.
The dim, glowing light of the venue and your humming to the music is overwhelming his every sense, yet his eyes could only see you. The beauty showing so much love for him in every action of yours. Your smile, your eyes, your hands that have reached his face, your thumb stroking his cheeks so gently as if Koutarou is made of glass and everything fragile.
Koutarou subconsciously leaned down, his lips searching for yours when you whispered.
“Your lips, my lips”.
“Apocalypse”.
The both of you smile as lips clashes and again, today the world felt like heaven, and in his presence, you’ve realized that you’re kissing an angel on earth.
#bokuto koutarou x reader#bokuto koutarou#bokuto fic#bokuto fluff#bokuto koutarou x reader fluff#haikyuu#haikyuu fic#bokuto x reader#hq x reader#bokuto imagines#[🥂] — champagne kisses collab#rsz.w
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Hole in the Head
Part of my Invisible Illness Series
Warnings: migraine, reader in pain, nausea, light sensitivity, odour sensitivity, cuddling, loud Bokuto
Summary: When quiet is too loud...
Tagging: @milkteeboba
Somewhere between lunch and the end of the day, a niggling pain behind your eyeballs had gone from annoying to downright debilitating. You could barely managed to keep your lunch down, even having more water than usual hadn't helped. The journey home had simply made it worse, the train journey had been full of people and a plethora of smells. Cigarette smoke, perfume, food and sweat all together made the throbbing in your eyes migrate to the back of your head, moving your neck was uncomfortable and your stomach was doing somersaults, nausea making the back of your throat burn.
You could barely get yourself through the door, throwing your bag on the floor before downing your tablets and climbing into bed. Clothes in heaps on the floor, bra pulled off as you darkened the apartment and tugged the blankets over your head. You heard the door slam, waking you up from your nap and the noise vibrated through your skull your boyfriends 'hey, hey, hey' echoing through the apartment and making you whimper in pain.
Small tears running down your face, you knew he didn't mean to be so loud. It was something you loved about him, he could light up a room, make everyone laugh and he never failed to being a smile to your face. But right now all you wanted to do was cry, but opening your eyes hurt.
"Baby- oh no. I'm sorry."
The last word was a whisper, a warm hand on your face, thumb rubbing small circles on your temple which eased a fraction of the pain radiating through your head. You felt his lips against your hair, the smell of his aftershave filling your nostrils and making you wrinkle your nose.
"Oh, Kou. Your aftershave-"
"Bad? You liked it when I bought it?"
"Uh uh. Right now it's making me wanna throw up."
Bokuto hated this, hated seeing you in pain and worse not being able to do anything to help you. After seeing your eyes drop off most likely from your pain medication making you sleepy he quickly showered, washing the smell of the aftershave off and dressed in something from the cupboard that you had washed. Climbing into the bed behind you, his arms coming around you slowly so he wouldn't disrupt your sleep he kissed the back of head lightly.
"Mmmm... you smell different."
"Took a shower. Threw the aftershave in the trash."
"Kou... that stuff was expensive, you bought it overseas."
"Baby, I'm not gonna wear something that hurts you. We'll go shopping and you can choose something you like."
You turned slowly, burying your head in his chest and wrapping your arms around his waist. He was so big and warm, the heat seeping into your body and acting like a big hot water bottle. His hand rubbing circles on your back, the other cupping the back of your neck as he held you close.
"You need to eat, baby. I'll order some food if you want, what do you feel like?" He ignored your head shaking, tutting in disagreement. "You can't keep taking pain medication on an empty stomach and once you've eaten, we'll have a soak in the bath, yeah?"
Bokuto knew he was loud, it was something he tried to tamper down when you were in pain. Seeing you like this, all curled up against him looking small and fragile against his bulk, you were soft where he was hard and muscled. He loved the stark contrast having you in his arms felt perfect and he would do anything to make sure that he kept you safe and well.
#bokuto scenarios#bokuto imagines#bokuto fanfic#bokuto fic#bokuto imagine#hq bokuto#haikyuu fic#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu hcs#bokuto hcs#bokuto headcanons#bokuto x you#bokuto x y/n#bokuto x reader#hq x y/n#hq x you#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n
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SMOKED.
pairing: bokuto koutarou x gn!reader
genre: light angst
word count: 1,678
cw/tw: reader has anxiety + talks about getting medicine, swearing, cigarette smoking, established relationship, concerned kou, petnames are used
"I'll help you get through this, okay?" — sometimes the outlet you think is helping you, ends up making everything worse.
You took a drag from your lit cigarette while leaning over the balcony of your shared apartment. You had left the doors cracked open to inside because Koutarou was up watching his shows, as usual, so you weren't worried about him finding you here smoking. Especially since it was getting close to one in the morning.
You took a couple more drags while admiring the nighttime, city view. It was beautiful, yet so hectic like something out of your nightmares. You brushed those anxious thoughts away with another puff of the toxins. You held the smoke in for a bit longer and finally released it once you felt your body start to calm down.
"Baby?" you hear Koutarou say from behind you, his voice was soft and confusion was laced in his tone, "what are you doing?"
Your body was frozen and you were sure he could tell. You let out a cough with your lips pursed and turn around while hiding the cigarette behind your back.
You raise your eyebrows at him and hum while looking into his eyes, "what's up, Kou? I thought you were watching your show?"
"I was, but you were taking a bit longer in the bathroom than usual so I wanted to make sure you were okay…" His eyes flicker to your hidden arms and then he looks back into your eyes, "why are you out here?"
He was avoiding the real question he wanted to ask. You could tell. You knew he saw the smoke, he had to have seen it. He had spoken right after you had released it from your lungs.
"I just wanted some fresh air. It gets a bit stuffy inside sometimes," you tell him. He nods and looks around the balcony, his eyes searching for more clues, and they finally land on a water bottle that's sitting on the small table. His eyebrows furrow and he points to it.
"Don't you usually drink out of the paper cups we have?" He questions.
"It's just a water bottle," you mumble before speaking up, "are you gonna ask me your real question or continue avoiding it?" You knew your half-gone cigarette had to have been complete ashes by now. It should've been put out in the water bottle already. He hesitates and then looks at your legs as you can feel some of the ashes fall off the cigarette.
"What's behind your back?" He asks. You sigh and look to the side before moving toward him to grab the water bottle. He grabs your shoulders as he must think you’re trying to flee inside.
"Can I grab the fucking water bottle, Koutarou?" You snap your head up to look at him while snatching the water bottle off the small table.
“Don't swear at me like that," he whispers, his tone hurting as he looks into your eyes. You flick the cap off the water bottle and watch as it lands on the small table before you bring your other hand out from behind your back and drop the cigarette into the water. His eyes widen like saucers as he snatches the water bottle out of your hands.
"A cigarette… You were smoking a cigarette?! Since when do you even-,"
You gulp as tears spring to your eyes. You never wanted him to find out like this. You didn't want him to find out at all honestly. You could see the growing confusion and frustration in his eyes as he continued spitting words at you.
"-What is wrong with you?"
And that's when you feel a tear slip.
"What is wrong with me?" You ask him, your voice cracking as more tears begin slipping past your waterline. His expression changes to one of panic as he's quickly setting the water bottle down and holding your upper arms.
"No, no baby, I didn't mean it like that, I promise," he says softly, his hands coming up to smooth his thumbs along your cheekbones.
"I'm sorry, I-," you choke out. He nods and brushes a few hairs out of your face.
"Why?" he asks gently.
"I didn't- he just- he told me it would make my anxiety go away," you cry.
"He? Who's he?" He questions.
"My friend," you whimper.
"The one you became friends with a month ago who also smokes?" He asks. You nod and nibble on your bottom lip. "And does it make your anxiety go away, baby?"
"Only for a little bit. If- if I don't smoke one in a while then it gets worse and I don't feel good," you tell him.
"Baby," he breathes out, "you know how bad these are for you, don't you? And that there's other ways to help your anxiety settle down. Baby, they make medicine for it."
"I don't have the money for medicine," you cry.
"I do, [Name], you know that I have the money for it. Why didn't you come to me and ask me?" He rubs your upper arms in his hands while watching as your lips tremble before you speak.
"I can't just- Kou, I can't take your money like that," you cry out.
"If it's for your mental health, yes, you can. I would never let you go without something you need, I don't care how much it costs me. And don't you think that you having the proper medicine to treat it is better than you having to get a lung transplant from those nasty things in the future?"
You gulp and nod while looking into his eyes, your own shaking with guilt because of how much you've upset him.
"Will you stop so that we can get you the right treatment for it? Because those things are not helping you, baby, they're only going to make you feel worse," he says softly. "Do you have more on you?" He asks. You sniffle and nod before looking away from his eyes. "Where are they?"
You reach into your hoodie pocket and pull out the almost empty carton with your lighter inside. He takes it out of your hands and opens it before letting out a deep breath.
"There's only three left in here, when did you smoke all the others?"
"This past week," you mumble.
"It's only been five days, baby. Did he give this to you new or were some already gone out of it?" He asks while closing the carton.
"New, he took the wrapper off of it for me and helped me," you say quietly.
"Helped you do what?" He asks.
"Helped me smoke the first one."
He nods and licks his lips before opening the carton back up to pull the lighter out and look at it. You watch as he reads over the black sharpie written on the white lighter and his jaw clenches before he looks back into your eyes.
"'Rest in peace: virgin lungs.' Does he think this is a joke?" He scoffs while tossing the lighter back into the carton and closing it with a heaving sigh. You just stand here and watch him, your anxiety rising as your fingers itch to light one of the last three. He drops the carton onto the small table and you flinch at the noise before he puts the cap back onto the water bottle.
"Are you mad at me?" Your voice cracks and shakes as you whisper it.
"No baby, I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated and upset, that's all," he says.
"With me?"
"No," he chuckles lightly, "just-," he sighs and looks back down at the table, "can you promise me something?"
You nod and look into his eyes.
"Will you promise to stop smoking, so that I can help you get the right medicine for your anxiety?" He asks.
You gulp and look away from his eyes before looking at the cigarette carton. "It's not that easy, Kou," you mumble while looking back up at him.
"Can you at least try?" He asks desperately.
"I try every single time I come home because the last thing I wanted was for you to be disappointed in me," tears cloud over your eyes again before you start crying and drop your head down. "I hate the idea of you ever not liking me for something I've done and that's why I hid this from you because I didn't want you to hate me," you sob. He steps closer to you and pulls you into his arms to hold you tightly.
"Baby, I could never hate you. Please don't say stuff like that, let alone, think it. I love you and I just want the best for you, I promise," he says while pressing kisses to the top of your head. You choke out a sniffle and nod before whimpering, "I love you too."
He hums and gives your body a tight squeeze before lifting your head so you can look at him. You notice his teary eyes and shake your head as you bite your lip.
"I'll help you get through this, okay? We'll get you to stop and I'll get you the right medicine that you need," he assures you. You nod and sniffle as you look away from his eyes.
"Can we go to bed now?" You ask. He nods and picks up the carton of cigarettes and the water bottle before opening the balcony door a bit more. You walk inside first and watch as he heads over to the trash and drops the water bottle inside. When he goes to drop the carton, you grab his wrist.
"What if I need one?" You ask him.
"You won't need one, your body will just make you think that you want one. They're going in the trash, baby," he says while dropping it in and then closing the lid. You stare at the lid of the trashcan and then he grabs your hand. "Let's go brush our teeth and then we can go to bed, alright?" He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and shuts off the lights before guiding you into the bathroom.
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#haikyuu angst#bokuto koutaro x reader#bokuto angst#bokuto x y/n#bokuto x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#bokuto x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#bokuto x gn!reader#bokuto koutarou x reader#bokuto koutarou angst#bokuto kotaro x reader#bokuto imagines#bokuto oneshot#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu oneshot#bokuto fanfic#bokuto fic#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu fic
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🏅Being Team Japan's Manager 🏅
💔Relationship Troubles with Bokuto 💗
Bokuto Kōtarō featuring Team Japan x Female Manager
Warnings: Swearing, Bokuto being a complete jerk, petname, angst to fluff, suggestive at the end 🙃
AN: Its a very Bokuto centered day 🥰This is an Anon request! I may have gotten a tiny bit carried away with this one. I also cried alot 🥲 I'm emotional when it comes to our boys 🥺 I'm really proud of this one ❤
🌠 Please Like, Reblog and/or Share to help support my writing 🌠
Oof this one is going to make me cry 😢
I already know it
And the fact that it's with our resident himbo 🥺
But it must be done and who else to deliver but yours truly 🤗
Your relationship with Bokuto has been going on for about 6 months now
You started out of friends when you joined Team Japan as their resident hotty 🔥 and manager 💅🏼
Honestly, Team Japan adores you YN
You lucky bitch 😒
But there was always something special about Bokuto
Pls he's such a bubbly Boi I just can't even 😫
Bokuto took an instant liking to you and you to him
Did he annoy you? Absolutely 💯
Did you find him attractive as all hell? Abso-FREAKING-lutely 🙌🏻
Bokuto is like what? 6'3" timeskip 👀
Lawd girl of you don't I will
N E WAYS, you two grew extremely close
Daily practices and nightly walks home
Consistent "HEY HEY HEY YN WATCH THIS!"
Giant Bear hugs and headpats
You would grab coffee or ever dinner sometimes
Of course, the other three idiots guys would accompany you occasionally as well
When Bokuto finally asked you out, it was very Bokuto-style
Super spontaneous and loud
Lile he literally walked you to your apartment door, was about to leave, turned around and shouted
"YN WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"- Bokuto, zero chill
"Ko- we just went out..."- You, extremely confused
"No I mean, like a date"- Bokuto 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
YN of you take longer than a single second to answer this imma come there and smack you 🤚🏻
Someone summon Iwaizumi for me- 🏐
"Of course I will Kotaro"- You 🥺🤗
Good girl Yn ☺️
Please Bokuto is so excited he will pick you up and spin you around 🥰
God I love that for you 😐
Me, a jealous bish
Thus begins the ship know as BokuYN
The next few months go by quickly
Your relationship is tugging along and everything is going well
Unfortunately, the storm clouds are moving in YN 😔⛈️
And all good things can't last
It starts out small, everyone is so stressed with the Olympics coming up
Bokuto especially
Imagine all the pressure to be perfect and score points 😪 that has got to be so rough
Bokuto starts staying late for practice and heading home with you less frequently
You start eating dinner alone and he starts coming home later and later ☹️
One morning, you wake up and Bokuto isn't next to you
You try calling him but nothing
You show up to the gym and find him there with Kageyama, Atsumu and Hinata
You are confused as to what is going on 🤨
Like rightfully so
I mean what did they just sleep on the bleachers the night before?
I wouldn't put it past them honestly 😒
You approach them and ask what's going on
Atsumu is setting for Bokuto and he narrowly misses a line shot
"God dammit! Send up another one"- Bokuto, furious and sweating 😓
"Hey guys- have you been practicing all night?"- you, curious
"Nah we quit at 9 last night"- Kageyama getting a drink of water
Ok now your really confused 🤚🏻
You look at Bokuto who is setting up for another spike
"Ko you didn't come home last night"- you
He ignores you, spiking the ball
Ok then- 😐
Let's try this again shall we 🙃
"Kotaro did you hear me?"- you, now standing with your hands on your hips
Ope- someone's in trouble 😶
Atsumu, Hinata and Kags are now looking from you to Bokuto 👀
"I stayed with Hinata last night"- Bokuto, walking away from you, going to his phone and scrolling
Clearly his phone is working 😑
That's suspicious 🤨 that's weird
"And why would you do that?"- you, obviously upset
"Because I felt like it"- Bokuto
Not to be toxic here but that's not an answer dude 😒
"Ok but why- I texted you and you never got back to me. And it's clear your phone is fine since your looking at it right now"- YN, hands now in the air, just ready to go
"Maybe I just needed some fucking space YN"- Bokuto
Please now Aran, Yaku, Komori, Sakusa, Habuka,Ushijima,Hyakuzawa, amd Iwaizumi are all on the gym 🤚🏻
Silently observing 👀
"Are you serious right now? What did I do Ko?"- you, walking towards him
"YN I just need some fucking space! You're around me constantly and I can't fucking concentrate on these damn Olympics with you breathing down my neck all the time! Like all you ever do is talk talk talk and I'm so fucking sick of it! Just fucking leave me alone! If you did anything for this team besides stand around, maybe you'd understand my stress! But you always have to come first YN and Im fucking DONE!"- Bokuto, finally snapping
Oh he's pissed
Like fuming at you 😡😤
It's honestly so embarrassing he would say such things in front of everyone
You face heats and your fists tighten-
You don't even know what to do, so-
You just look up at him, tears filling your eyes
Ok everyone just breath ok
I mean, I'm crying 🥺
You know that feeling when your stomach just drops and you feel almost sick
That's what's happening now
The tears are welling up and it's about to happen
There is no stopping that crying YN and you shouldn't!
Bokuto essentially took your heart, threw it on the ground and stomped all over it
Nah he rolled over it with a steam roller and fed it through a wood chipper 😬
He broke you 😔
No matter how you try, a brave face isn't coming
So you do what you must
"Fine Bokuto. You don't want me bothering you anymore. Than consider me gone"- You, turning to walk out of the gym, tears flowing, past the other members of the team
Everyone is stunned 😲 and honestly same
Nobody expected this of Bokuto, like he's literally the last one I'd expect to do this
But the pressure was mounting and unfortunately YN, you were the catalyst
The gym is silent as Bokuto sets his water down, turning to face Atsumu
"Toss another one"- Bokuto, getting into place
Please these guys are PISSED and so confused 😕
"What the fuck was that-" Atsumu, the first to speak
As much as I bully this man, istg he's loyal as fuck
And while he loves Bokuto like a brother, he also loves you
"Bokuto that was so harsh man"- Habuka
"It needed to be said. She's been so clingy and needy. The Olympics are coming up and I need to practice"- Bokuto, starting to realize that he's the total ass in this situation but still holding face
He's a man 🙄😒
"You're an dumbass Bokuto"- Iwaizumi, turning to go and find you
"Bokuto sit down. You're done for today"- Aran
"The fuck I am-"
"The fuck you are because I said so"- Aran
Please Aran can be so fucking scary 😨
Bokuto will get right in his face
"Hey cool it you two!"- Hyakuzawa
"Bokuto- chill man"- Kageyama pulling him back
Hoshiumi finally comes in the gym
"Hey what's wrong with YN. I saw her leaving and she was crying"- Hoshiumi
It's all starting to sink in now-
"FUCK-" Bokuto, throwing his waterbottle against the wall and storming out
Everyone is just exhausted and it's showing
"Should we go after him?"- Hyakuzawa, the mediator of the group
"I think we should call Akaashi- this is over our heads"- Aran, leaving to get his phone and make the call
Meanwhile, you are now sitting on a bench, full on ugly crying
Snot down the face, tears everywhere, can't catch your breath BAWLING
🤚🏻 say less YN your heartbroken and its ok to cry 💔
Please I'm crying writing this and it's fiction 😭
"Hey YN- are you ok?"- Iwaizumi, coming to sit next to you
"No- no Hajime I'm not ok"- you, sucking in breath and trying to calm down
Spoiler alert: it's not working
"I think I need to go home Haji"- you
"You do that YN. And hey, it will be ok... I promise. I'll talk to him"- Iwaizumi
"Hajime, you heard him. He doesn't want me so give me one good reason why I should stay?"- you, hugging yourself and crying
"YN he's under a lot of stress. He shouldn't have said those things. You know he cares about you"- Iwaizumi, trying to save this
"YN please just listen-" I was our freaking savior
"Hajime, if he cared he wouldn't have said those things. If he cared, he would have avoided my texts and calls. He embarrassed me in there. You don't do that to someone you care about"- you, making an excellent point
"I'll see you later Haji. Thanks for being here"
You try and force a smile as tears stream down your face
Upon arriving at your apartment, you do nothing but mope
You say nothing more as you turn and walk away
You cry the entire way home, trying to hide your face from those around you
Honestly YN as you should 💅🏼
I'm like so mad at Bokuto right now you have no idea 🤬 you crawl into bed, covering yourself up and cry like there's no tomorrow
Back at the gym, Bokuto is sitting in the locker room with a towel hanging over his head
That bitchy voice inside your head telling you that everything was a lie and you were never good enough for Bokuto
You eventually manage to cry yourself to sleep 😔
He knows he fucked up... like MAJORLY fucked up
The stress of the Olympics had been weighing on our poor owl bby and the fact that he just can't hit his line shots
Iwaizumi comes in and sits next to him
"I fucked up bad"- Bokuto
"Yeah you fucking did asshole"- Iwaizumi not even beating around the bush
"Shit"- Bokuto, throwing his towel against the locker
"You need to chill out Bokuto. Your stress isn't helping anything right now. You said some pretty mean stuff to YN and she's really hurt"- Iwaizumi
"Did she leave?"- Bokuto
"Yeah- she went home"- Iwaizumi
"Fuck I have to talk to her-" Bokuto standing, fists clenched
"Hold up there cowboy. Give her some space man. You broke her heart dude. It's not going to be an easy fix. Wait a day, let it rest"- Iwaizumi
As much as he hated to do it, Bokuto let it rest
He went to his apartment, one he spent very little time in nowadays and tried to relax 😔
The next day, he arrived early to try and catch you
Only, you weren't there 😞
"Where's YN?"- Bokuto to Hoshiumi
"She didn't come in today. She called and told Aran she's taking personal time"
"God dammit!"- Bokuto, just about to punch the wall
Thankfully Sakusa is there to stop him
"Bo a broken hand isn't going to help man. You need to chill"- Sakusa
"Come on man, let's practice and then we can talk"- Hinata
"How can I practice without YN? Knowing I fucked up the best thing I ever had"- Bokuto, now a deflated Owl
"Well it's good to finally see you admit how much you care for YN"- Akaashi, with Kuroo at his side
"What are you doing here?"- Bokuto, genuinely confused 🤨
"Aran called me and well Kuroo heard through the grapevine"- Akaashi
Please Kuroo knows all the gossip
These boys talk more than old ladies in church
"Dude what is wrong with you? This isn't like you"- Kuroo
"I've been so stressed and I can't hit my line shots. I've been practicing day and night and nothing feels right"- Bokuto, now hunched over on the bleachers, surrounded by the peanut gallery
"Have you thought thay maybe your practicing too much Bo?"- Kageyama
Seriously he's one to talk 🙄
"I mean, what has YN said about you staying late for practice?"- Akaashi
"I haven't been around much- I've just been so stressed. And I just dont know"- Bokuto
"Well Bokuto, you have to decide what you want to do. If you want to break up with YN, I think you owe her an explanation. She at least deserves that. But if you want to make up with her-" Akaashi
"I DO! I really do! I thought alot last night and YN's been the one consistent good thing in my life. I- I think I love her"- Bokuto
Pls bby you were a jerk but you are breaking my heart 💔😫
"Well then you need to talk to her"- Kuroo
Bokuto knew this and he was so ready
Unfortunately you weren't 🙁
A knock sounded as you drag yourself to the door
The peep hole reveals Bokuto, standing there, hair deflated
You open the door and cross your arms
That's right YN! We are a powerful women and we will show it ✊🏻
"Hey YN, can we talk?"- Bokuto
"That's what we are doing-"
"YN please I'm so sorry- I was a complete asshole and jerk! I know I royally fucked up and god, YN I'm so sorry"- Bokuto
Tears are forming in this man's eyes
But also in yours 😟
"Bokuto-" you
"Ko, you call me Ko"- Bokuto
"Listen, I need time. What you said really hurt me and I'm not ready talk to you let alone see you. I just don't know if I can do this-" please the tears are rolling down your face but you're voice remains strong
"YN- please, just please"- Bokuto, full on crying
"Good night Bokuto"- You, shutting the door and breaking down
Please Bokuto hears you and it KILLS him 😭
He did that to you and he hates himself
The next few days drag
You return to your manager job but you try and steer clear of Bokuto
Unfortunately the team doesn't get that memo 😒
Please they are trying everything possible to get you to back together
You are miserable, Bokuto is EXTRA miserable
"YN can you wrap Bokuto's fingers? I have to do Komori's and Yaku's"- Iwaizumi
"I can do it Iwa" - Kageyama
Please that went right over his head
Iwaizumi is just staring at him like 👁➖️👁
You don't even say anything, just grab the tape and walk to Bokuto
The man towers over you so he is looking down at you while you wrap his fingers
"How are you?"- Bokuto, genuinely concerned
"Fine"- you, trying to just hold it together long enough to wrap those long fingers 👀
"You've lost some weight-" Bokuto
"Yeah I haven't been hungry"- You, unfortunately your voice cracks and you have to bite your lip to keep it from quivering
"YN, baby-" Bokuto, lifting your face up by your chin and looking into your watering eyes
He hates seeing you like this and knowing he caused it 🤧
"Done"- you, looking up and smiling a little, tears filling your eyes before you turn and walk out of the gym
Bokuto watches you go
And so do the others 👀
Nosey bitches 🙄💅🏼
Also side note: screw Iwa for throwing you under the bus like that 🖕🏻 imma Iwa cannon a volleyball at Iwa 😤
It's safe to say practice has been a little... well tense to say the least
Bokuto is getting blocked, missing cross court shots and liners left and right
It hurts you even more to see the man you love hurting
Wait 🤚🏻 love?
Oh hell yeah you love him YN
Just admit it 🙃
But no matter how much you love him, it doesn't take away how he treated you the past few weeks
And how much his words that day hurt
You're at a crossroads Yn and it's not an easy choice
Luckily for you, you have supportive friends
Wait, did I say supportive? I mean Atsumu and Hinata 🤣
But also Aran, Ushijima and Iwaizumi
Ok ok ill stop 😅
They stop by your place unexpectedly with food
"You need to eat"- Atsumu, pushing past you
"Don't think we haven't noticed YN"- Iwaizumi, coming in behind Atsumu
"Wow it's nice to see you too"- you 😐
"Hi YN, how are you doing?"- Aran, giving you a big hug
Please he gives amazing hugs 🥺
"Could be better"- you, now hugging Ushijima and Hinata
"YN how long are you going to do this?"- Atsumu
Aran and Iwaizumi 👉🏻🤦♂️🤦
"I hate to admit it YN but Atsumu is right. It's obvious you two love each other"- Ushijima
"Yeah"- you, sinking into the couch
"YN we know what he said hurt and we aren't telling you to just forget about it"- Aran
"But Bokuto is miserable YN. He's not eating, he's spending all his days at the gym and I know he's not sleeping"- Iwaizumi
"YN we know you're just as miserable so why don't you stop this"- Ushijima
"Just talk to him YN"- Hinata
Maybe, just maybe they have a point
You sigh and resign yourself to the fact that as much as Bokuto's words hurt you
You know that the stress of the Olympics and his hard training have worn on him
The next morning, you arrive at 6 am to start work
You hear the sound of balls being spiked against the floor of the gym
You know that sound, the exact sound of a Bokuto serve
You approach the door and peer in, seeing Bokuto tossing up another serve
The ball slams over, hitting right on the end line
"That was a nice shot"- you, walking into the gym
Bokuto stops and looks straight at you, mouth agape
You're talking to him- like actually conversing with him
And you PRAISED HIM 😭😭😭
"Thanks, what are you doing here?"- Bokuto
You giggle a little
Bokuto's heart swells
"Did you forget I come in early to set up?"- you
"Haha yeah I guess- I've just been doing it since- well-" - Bokuto rubbing the back of his neck
"Want me to set for you?"- You, taking a chance
Bokuto's head shots up 😳
"Really?" Please YN he's so happy he's smiling 🙂
"Yeah"- you taking position as Bokuto tosses to you and you set
Perfect cross court shot 😚🤌🏻
"Nice kill Ko!!"- you smiling and looking back at him
Please he's melting YN 😭
"First one I've gotten in all week"- Bokuto, his head down, rubbing his arms
What 😳
"Ko..."
"I'm miserable YN. I'm so fucking miserable. I can't sleep, I can't eat. Every single practice, I miss tosses, get blocked or the ball is out. I- I can't do this"- Bokuto, looking at you as tears roll down his face
"Ko come here"- you, reaching out for him as he comes to your arms for a hug 🫂
Please that man will hug you and never want to let you go
You pull back as he rests his forehead against yours
🥺 please I'm such a sap God WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
"YN I know I don't deserve you but I need you to know that you are the best thing to ever happen to me. I know I fucked up and God I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry baby. I love you so much and I can't do this without you"- Bokuto, tears flowing
"I love you too Ko"- You, smiling with tears in your eyes
"You- you do?"- Bokuto, now smiling like a freaking idiot 😃
"Yeah I really do"- You
Please 🤚🏻 say less
This man is picking you up and swinging you in the air
"Ko, Jesus Ko calm down"- you, laughing and smiling
"I can't! The most amazing, beautiful women in the world loves me"- Bokuto, finally setting you down
"Yeah I do my ace"- You
Please his lips are on yours before you can finish that sentence 🤚🏻 💋
"Jesus christ get a room will ya"- Atsumu, walking in as you and Bokuto turn around to see the entire team watching you 😳
"Oh my god that was so sweet 🥺"- Yaku about to cry
"Well I'm finally glad to see you guys have worked it out"- Iwaizumi
"Jesus YN way to bring it down to the wire, the Olympics is a month way"- Kageyama, ever the inspiration 🙄
"Aran are you crying?"- Hinata
"No- I just got some dust in my eyes from these volleyballs"- Aran, wiping his eyes and walking away
Sure 😏 "dust from the volleyballs"
"Ok enough of this, let's get to practice"- Aran
"Ummm actually- I uh, I need YN to help me with something"- Bokuto being suspicious 🤔 and dragging you to the door
"Ko, can't it wait until after practice!"- you, being dragged
"Absolutely not"- Bokuto
Please he's on a mission 😏
Iwaizumi just rolls his eyes 🙄
"Jesus christ just be safe ok? We don't need any little Bokuto babies running around"- Iwaizumi
"I make no promises"- Bokuto, pulling you out as you laugh and wave to the team
"Jesus that's got to be some record Emo mode"- Komori
"It lasted 8 days and Bokuto missed 436 spikes"- Atsumu, nonchalantly rattling of statistics
Komori, Yaku and Aran 👉🏻👁👄👁
"You kept track of that?"- Hakuba, honestly impressed
"I'm the setter, it's my job to make sure the players are ok"- Atsumu, shrugging
"Hey now- you aren't the official setter just yet 😑"- Kageyama
"It's only a matter of time"- Atsumu 😏
"😐 the fuck it is- " Kageyama following Atsumu and yelling
"God I wish YN was here"- Aran
"She's probably getting her back blown out as we speak"- Habuka
"Jesus christ 🤦♂️ alright get to work"- Iwaizumi, smiling
Side note: you were in fact, getting your back completely blown to pieces 😏
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyu!#haikyu#haikyū!!#hq bokuto#bokuto fic#bokuto x reader#bokuto#bokuto kotaro#bokuto kōtarō#bokuto x you#bokuto x fem!reader#time skip Bokuto#bokuto x y/n#bokuto drabble#bokuto headcannons#bokuto scenarios#bokuto angst#bokuto fluff#angst to fluff headcannons#angst to fluff#okympics bokuto#msby bokuto#hq team japan#team japan x reader#team japan x fem reader#team japan x female manager#team japan bokuto
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🗗 STANDING WITH YOUR ARMS OPEN IN FRONT OF THEM
FT. kenma, atsumu, bokuto, ushijima
W. none
AN. repost.
KENMA!
blinks blankly. he was grabbing some snacks from the kitchen when you randomly popped up with a goofy smile and a questionable stance in front of him. "is this supposed to be a new trend?" he waits for your response, only for you to shrug lightly before your smile grew wider. kenma places the packet of chips on kitchen counter before making his way towards you. "tell me if i'm doing something wrong?" and he inches closer, placing a soft kiss on your cheeks that leaves you flustered. he retracts slowly, gazing into your eyes as an obvious attempt at teasing you— which certainly worked, might you add. "was that right?" you sigh, averting your eyes to a stray corner. "you were supposed to hug me but i don't mind a kiss or two either."
ATSUMU!
this man has no clue. he was on his way to the bedroom after spending his afternoon watching match replays, only for you to greet him with a grin plastered on your face as you stood in front of him with your arms wide open. you stare at him, anticipating an answer, while he standing frozen with a perplexed face, brows creased in a way as if he's thinking of a potential response. a few seconds pass, and all he does is spread his arms in front of you, mirroring your actions. "are we t-posing?" — "tsumu, gosh, you're suppsosed to hug me!" a soft 'oh' escape his lips as he pulls you into an embrace, planting a soft kiss on your temple as you wrap your arms around his torso. "you're so dumb," you mumble, a chuckle rolls off his tongue. "at least you get to hug me." and he plops over the bed with your in his arms, pulling you impossibly closer. no, he's not getting off you anytime soon
BOKUTO!
you were lying idly on your bed when this impressive idea managed to slide inside your brain and within no time, you're on your way to your boyfriend who is busy doing whatever in his study. his brain went blank when he spot you standing with your arms wide open in the hallway, a smile climbing up his face before he sprints towards you, engulfing you in his arms ( or more like crashing into you ) as if you're going to disappear the next second. "kou what—" he pulls back, a bright smile waltzing on his lips. "what? i thought you were going to catch me." you pause, brows furrowed in confusion before you break into beads of laughter. "we're not playing that but sure, let's do it again." and he smiles, stepping away before standing with with his arms open in front of you. "your turn, sweets."
USHIJIMA!
stares blankly part two, but gets the message quickly. he expects you to pull tricks on him every now and then, what he didn't expect was from you was you standing in front of him with arms wide open at eight in the morning. while you expected him to ask a few questions, ushijima pulls you into his arms without wasting another second. "did you miss me?" you didn't expect that question. well of course, he arrived late last night; late enough for you to be fast asleep. your lips curl into a smile as you pull away, hands still wrapped around his torso while his' are snaked around yours. "today's a day off so let's go on a date." now, who are you to refuse.
taglists in the rbs.
#prod. — caelin.#album. — haikyuu.#haikyuu x reader#atsumu x reader#kenma x reader#black and white#bokuto x reader#haikyuu fukurodani#haikyuu first years#atsumu fic#ushijima fic#bokuto fic#haikyuu fluff#bokuto fluff#atsumu fluff#kenma fluff#ushijima fluff#haikyuu headcanons#atsumu headcanons#kenma headcanons#ushijima headcanons#bokuto headcanons#haikyuu drabbles#hq fluff#haikyuu!!
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Lemon Cupcake
Coffee shop au
Bokuto x male reader
word count: 2.3k+
Owning a small cafe with only you and your parents was harder than you had expected. It was your parents dream to open a cafe and they had finally achieved it together. You agreed to help out after school when you’re free, but you didn’t think the shop's popularity would spike so quickly. It became a hot spot for kids at your school and with that added the stress of being recognized. While you had no problem with people knowing your family owned the cafe, you weren’t the type of person to seek out the attention of others. Instead you tried your best to simply blend in and go unnoticed altogether.
You noticed the oddly nice weather as you walked to work after school. You hoped it wouldn’t be too busy because people would stay out to enjoy the nice day, but luck was not on your side.
You entered the store with a sigh as you headed to the back to get changed. “Oh, y/n! Thank goodness you’re here. Go get changed and head out to help your mother,” your father directed as he worked on a cake. You simply nodded and did as you were told.
The line had finally died off from the after school rush and you took the opportunity to clean up. As you were wiping down tables you heard the chime of the bells that hung on the door, indicating a customer had just walked in. You looked up to see a boy from your school intensely looking at the menu board. You hadn’t ever talked to him, but you knew he was quite popular and the captain of the boys volleyball team.
You walked back behind the counter and greeted him with a soft smile. “Hi, I can help you when you’re ready.”
…
Bokuto had decided he would stop by the new cafe everyone in school was talking about after his practice. He didn’t particularly have a reason to, but figured it’d be fun. He invited Akaashi and some of his other teammates to go with him, but everyone declined, causing him to be a bit depressed.
Walking into the store he could immediately tell why everyone loved it so much. It was cozy and seemed like a good place to study with friends. He scanned the menu, unsure what he would like best. The greeting of what he assumed to be an employee brought him out of his thoughts. You absentmindedly twirled a pen in your hand as you waited patiently. Bokuto felt his chest tighten slightly at the sight of you. A light blush, basically unnoticeable, painted his cheeks as he looked away. “Um well… I’m not really sure what I like, so what’s your favorite?”
You blink at him for a moment, processing what he asked. “Oh, um…” you took a moment to think, realizing you hadn’t really tried much yet. “Honestly I’m not sure. I haven’t gotten the chance to try all that much since my parents decide on new flavors by themselves,” you said with a soft chuckle.
Bokuto tilted his head. “Oh, so you’re the owner's kid I assume?”
You nodded. “The one and only,” you joked with a grin. “A lot of people seem to like our lemon cupcakes if you’re interested in something sweet. And the iced coffees are also a fan favorite as well if that interests you.”
He nodded his head, glancing back at the menu for a moment. “How about you just make whatever your favorite is to make? Or whatever new concoction you can come up with,” he said excitedly. “And I’ll try a lemon cupcake too since you suggested it.”
You shrugged. “No promises the drink will turn out good, but if that’s what you want, I’ll do my best.” You gave him a thumbs up.
He smiled and waited, watching as you skillfully made his drink. Something about you drew him in without even trying. Maybe it was the timeless beauty to your features, or something unseen. Bokuto couldn’t place just one thing that attracted his attention. There was just something about you.
You finished up the drink and passed it to him along with a cupcake. “In all honesty, I’m not sure what I just made, but let me know what you think if you ever come in again,” you said with a smile.
“Will do. How much for these? I didn’t pay before so-“
“Don’t worry about it,” you cut him off. “Since it’s not a menu item and you just asked me to make anything, you can have it for free. You could always just come back again and that would be payment enough,” you said with a smile.
His chest felt tight again as you smiled at him, making him a bit flustered. “Are you sure? Would your parents be okay with you giving out free stuff to a stranger?”
You laughed quietly. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them too bad. Plus, even if you don’t know me, I definitely know you, Bokuto Kōtarō,” you said with a wink.
He blushed more visibly this time which just made you grin. “I- uh… okay.” He ran a hand through his hair with a light chuckle to clear his thoughts. “I’ll be sure to stop by again and let you know how it was,” he said as he gave a small wave and headed out. You watched as he disappeared out of the shop, unable to stop the light blush painting your cheeks.
…
Since you met Bokuto at your family's shop it was like the boy was everywhere. You saw him in the halls, at lunch, at the convenience store, literally everywhere you went he managed to be there too. He didn’t seem to notice you though, so you were thankful for that.
He had stopped by the cafe a few times, but it was always on your days off. Your parents would tell you all about how disappointed he would get when they told him you weren’t there. Your parents knew you liked boys and were supportive no matter what, so they didn’t let the opportunity pass with the teasing. “So y/n,” your mother said with a mischievous tone to her voice. “Who’s that boy with the black and white hair that’s always asking about you when he comes in to get a cupcake?” She asked with a raised brow.
You rolled your eyes as you put your apron on. “I’ve already told you I don’t actually know him. He’s just a guy from my school, but I don’t think he actually knows that.”
“Oh come on, honey. He seems like such a sweetie,” she said with a smirk. “Cute too. You’d make quite the handsome couple.” She winked and shot you an approving thumbs up. You groaned and left to go work in the front.
Weekends were oddly mostly slower, seemingly because people were out of school and work. You couldn’t complain. It made for easy work most of the time. You normally helped with pastry making, but today you decided to run the front while your parents did all the back work.
It was slow all day, only seeing a few customers, but as you were making yourself a random concoction of a drink, the chime of bells rang through the shop. “Welcome in! I’ll be with you in just a moment,” you said without looking up to see who or how many people walked in. You could tell from the noise they brought with them it was a large group of boys. Once you were done with your drink you looked to see the entirety of the fukurodani academy boys volleyball team. You were more than a little shocked to say the least.
“Did you guys just come from a game?” You asked no one in particular.
They all quietly looked at you before Akaashi stepped forward from behind everyone. “Just a practice match actually.”
You nodded. Akaashi was in your class and you had talked a few times before, but you forgot he was also on the volleyball team. As you glanced around trying to find Bokuto, you heard the bells on the door chime again. And there he was, the boy plaguing your thoughts on the daily. Your eyes met his and he quickly rushed up to greet you.
“Hi! I’ve been trying to catch you while you’re working, but always manage to miss you,” he almost whined.
You laughed, shaking your head. “Miss me that much, huh? Or was it the drink,” you asked in a teasing tone.
He smiled proudly. “The drink you made me was amazing, but I was actually more curious to know how you knew me. I know I kinda rushed out and all, but I’ve been wondering ever since,” he explained as the rest of the team quietly observed.
Akaashi let out a disappointed sigh as he rubbed his temples in annoyance. “Bokuto, he goes to our school and he’s literally in my class. Of course he knows who you are,” Akaashi stated with an apologetic glance at you.
You couldn’t help but laugh and the group of boys behind them joined in as well. Bokuto just stood there staring at you in disbelief. “Man, if I had known someone so attractive and cool went to our school I totally would’ve asked you out ages ago!” He shamelessly admitted with a grin.
Everyone went silent and stared at him in shock. The team knew he was bold, but that was a whole new level.
“I- uh- excuse me?” You looked around at everyone for confirmation of what you’d just heard. They all shrugged, also unable to believe what their captain had just said.
“What? Why’s everyone totally freaked? I didn’t say anything wrong,” he huffed, crossing his arms.
“It’s not that we think what you said was wrong, it was just unexpected. Look at y/n. I think he short circuited,” Akaashi pointed out. You just stood frozen in place, blinking occasionally.
You heard a crash from the back and snapped out of it, knowing full well your parents were eavesdropping. You gently clapped your hand over your face with a sigh. “Okay, okay, let’s talk about that later, alright Bokuto? I’m technically working right now anyways, so what do you guys want?” The team all ordered and you made all the drinks, but Bokuto hadn’t gone yet. “So, what’ll it be for you?” You asked with a small smile.
“Are you on the menu?” He smirked, leaning against the counter.
You rolled your eyes and pushed his face away. “Not at this moment, no, but maybe in the future if you play your cards right.”
The way his face lit up reminded you of a puppy, if you didn’t know any better, you’d say you could literally see the tail wagging. “Alright then I’ll definitely have a lemon cupcake. And how about that drink you made before? Have any idea what it was?”
“I could probably figure it out,” you said with a confident smile and thumbs up. After a moment you handed him his drink with your number, name, and a winky face ;) written on the cup. “Hopefully it’s close enough to still be good.”
After they talked and hung out for a while they all said their goodbyes and left.
…
Bokuto began to notice you more and more as you started talking. Taking note of all the times you passed each other in the halls and even making an effort to invite you to eat lunch with him and his friends. You had gotten to know him better and couldn’t help but remember the words he had said about you at the cafe. Did he really think you were all that? Compared to him you were nothing special. He was so amazing and to think he even liked talking to you was hard to accept.
“Y/n, you’re spacing out. Is everything okay?” He gently touched your arm to get your attention.
You shook out of your thoughts as you looked at him. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about something,” you said, offering him a small smile.
He frowned. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No, it was stupid. No need to worry.” You pat his shoulder, trying your best to get him to let it go. He just pouted, crossing his arms with a huff. He was such a child sometimes. Cute.
“I just wanna know how to help cheer you up,” he whined.
“I was thinking about what you said at the cafe that one time. About finding me attractive and such. I don’t know, I just find it hard to believe, you, someone literally so many people would love to be, could possibly be interested in someone like me at all.” You shrugged. “Stupid, I know.”
He swung his arm around you and pulled you close. “There’s no one else that could compare to you, n/n. I mean it when I say it too. The more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I believe that. You’re perfect in all the right ways and I genuinely, wholeheartedly, like you so much. Much more than I could ever express through words,” he said quietly into your ear.
A dark blush flushed your features as you listened to his words. Even if you didn’t know how to believe his words, you couldn’t ignore the feelings you had. You looked at him before quickly planting a kiss on his cheek. “How about we go out and you show me how much you like me then,” you whispered in his ear with a smirk.
“I’d like that a lot,” he said excitedly with a flustered blush before pulling you into a tight hug and kissing the top of your head happily, not caring about anyone or anything else around for once.
A/N: I fr don’t know what this is, so don’t ask🤡
#haikyuu!!#haiku#haikyuu x you#bokuto#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#bokuto x reader#bokuto x male reader#haikyuu x male reader#bokuto x you#bokuto x y/n#haikyuu fic#bokuto fic#aki writes
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It's the Bokutos! (4/4)
Warning: 18+ content, timeskip!haikyuu, fem-bodied!reader, cursing, smut, overstimulation, slight breeding kink, dig bick Bokuto, Bokuto is very caring 🥺
one • two • three • masterlist
minors do not interact
After two or was it three? Releases later, you thought he’d finally give you what you’ve been craving for the last month but he only spread your legs with his fingers which you had licked clean, holding your knees apart and kissing his way down your chest.
“Kou, what are you doing?”
“Wanna taste. It’s been a while. And plus,” he says, while kissing down your navel. He places a wet kiss on both your inner thighs. “I’m still warming you up.”
“Kou—oh,” you moan before you could argue, feeling his tongue slide up your folds and he groans.
“Shit, I missed this.” He continues to thrust his tongue into you, bulky arms wrapping around your thighs to move you closer to his face. “Delicious lil cunt,” he mumbles. Your moans encourage him to swipe his tongue in you faster, creating a squelching sound.
His stubby chin grinds against your cunt, creating a new sensation you wish you felt before. He starts twirling his wet muscle around your clit, bringing another whine out of you. He creates a rhythm against your taut area, urging you to your release. He moves his tongue down to clean up the spill you created, flattening it against your folds. He hums out of satisfaction against your pussy giving it one last kiss before heading back up to kiss your mouth, offering a taste of yourself once again.
“Are you ready?” He asks, rubbing his hardness under the cloth of his underwear. You snort.
“I’ve been ready for so long, I don’t know about you,” you say.
“Oh, honey,” he slips himself out of his remaining clothes. “I am. See for yourself,” he says, revealing his cock huge as ever with the red angry tip, dripping with precum. Your mouth almost waters at the sight. It’s been so long, you don’t remember it being that large. The size never fails to amaze you.
“Alright, darling,” he breathes, eyes scanning your naked form. “I’m going in.” His statement makes you laugh. But that laugh morphs into a moan when he pushes his tip into you. Not fully in but slowly pushing.
“Mmphm, still huge,” you whine. It only makes him groan hearing you talk about his size.
“Still tight,” he says, grunting, as he tries to push himself in without breaking or hurting you. It kind of frustrates you so you blurt out.
“Hurry and push it all in!” You start to grind against his shaft, making him lose the ounce of control he had left in him.
“Fuck.” He shoves his whole length into you, balls hitting against your skin. He pushes back out and thrusts into you at a leisurley pace, bringing his lips to your neck to pepper lazy kisses onto it.
“I miss you, I miss this,” you cry, a tear rolling down. It scares him at first when he sees your tear, making him freeze as his cock stays inside you, still hard.
“Are you okay, baby? You hurt?” he asks, tenderly holding your face.
“I’m fine Kou. J-just keep going. Don’t hold back, please.” He nods, breathing through his nose as he continues thrusting, gradually moving faster.
You were about to let out a loud moan when he dives down to kiss you, hips never stopping. “Shh, don’t wanna wake our baby,” he murmurs into the kiss. You nod, kissing him back, vibrations escaping your mouth as you try to bite back moans.
His balls begin to slap against your wet skin, when he pushes a thigh up against your chest to go deeper. “Shit!” Bokuto mutters several curses as his eyebrows furrow in concentration, hitting you in the right places. Places he’s memorized.
“Ah, fuck..feeling…good, baby?” he grunts, wanting to check on you. Making sure your not hurt anywhere. You were too out of it, feeling close to your next orgasm. You feel him give a hard thrust when you don’t answer. “Hmm?” he questions you again. You nod feverishly.
Bokuto bends down to your ear, his messy owl hair streaks tickling your cheek. “Use your words, love.” His voice is deep and sultry, that feeling in your stomach tighten.
“Y-yes, babe. It feels so, ah, good,” you breathe, trying not to scream from the way his cock is massaging your walls. You could feel his veins and the throbbing of his cock as he continues to swirl his hips. “I’m…almost there,” you whisper, practically breathless by this point. “Cum in me, Kou.” When he sends you a worried look, you give a reassuring nod. “Please.”
Ready to let go, your partner slows down and goes back on his knees, this time focusing on making deep and hard thrusts. He feels something in you, choosing to hit that particular spot, which makes you reach the breaking point.
“There you go, pretty. Mmph, that’s right,” Bokuto huffs. “Come on my cock.” Your release combined with the sight of your glistening and heaving chest makes him let go.
He groans, biting his lip as he watches himself enter in and out of you from the angle. Your wetness and his mixed together, seeping out of you. Overstimulation fills you both and you come once again, suprising you both. He laughs at your shocked expression and caresses your cheek once he halts his movements.
Bokuto’s stamina is endless. He could go on and on for hours. But he wants you to rest up so he pulls out of you, plunging his fingers to replace his cock. “You wan ‘em in, right…” he mumbles, pushing the essence back into your throbbing hole.
You hum in satisfaction as he moves himself back up to your lips giving you a tender kiss. “I love you, y/n, my darling.” He kisses you once more. “My wife.”
“My husband,” you call him breathlessly and kissing him back. “I love you.”
Your husband attempts to get up to go wash up but you push him back down. “Let’s stay a bit like this?” Of course he’s not gonna decline. He would never refuse a cuddle session with you.
“Okay,” he says with a giddy laugh. And you’re both laying, tangled together basking in each other’s warmth and scent.
He hums the same tune that he sang to your child, reminding you how grateful you were to have him as your husband and the father of your baby.
#MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT ty for coming to my tedtalk#bokuto x reader#bokuto fluff#bokuto fic#hq bokuto x reader#haikyuu bokuto x reader#bokuto koutarou x reader#bokuto kotaro x reader#bokuto smut#hq smut
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Stuck ✰ Bokuto Koutaro
a/n: i love bokuto he is my himbo dream <3
genre: romance
pairings: msby! bo x f! reader
warnings: none :) a little bit of thirsting from y/n, little bit of a cliche trope tbh
• • • • • • •
if there was one thing bokuto was outside of one of the top aces in japan, it was strong. bokuto represented his ego through his rippling muscles, defined and thick. every chance he could get to flex his skills in volleyball, or his biceps, he took it.
even now, at the celebration for the most recent msby win, where he scored the winning point for japan, he was still boasting. all of his team-mates had gotten used to this behavior, as well as his long time best friends akaashi and kuroo. you, however, did not have the best impression of him so far.
you had to admit, their team was quite impressive. and bokuto had scored a killer winning point, so it wasn’t like he was wrong to brag.
the first thing you had noticed, besides his biceps and back, was his boisterous voice and attitude. while he was very extroverted and welcoming, the most he could talk about from what you overheard was how great he was and how he had won for the team. maybe you were just a little bitter from the work day you had, but being at this party and having to listen to bokuto was not your ideal night. the only reason you were here was for osamu, who was in turn here for atsumu.
atsumu had been your least favorite twin since you met osamu a few months ago, frequenting his onigiri shop. he was similar to bokuto, but more arrogant than anyone you had ever met in your life.
besides listening to cheers and toasts from the winning players, your time had been rather uneventful. sitting beside osamu in the kitchen the whole time, sipping at your cranberry juice and munching on whatever snacks were present on the counters. other partygoers popped in and out of the room every once in a while, getting more beer or whiskey or sake or whatever they wanted to get drunk off of and leaving the two of you to your solitude away from everyone else.
at one point, sakusa was close to staying and sitting with you two away from the rest of the party, until atsumu had dragged him out. drinking the last bit of juice in your glass, you stood from your seat and stretched, making your way out of the kitchen. “i’m gonna go find the bathroom.”
osamu just waved his hand, scrolling through his twitter feed as he shoved another bite of whatever he was eating now in his mouth.
the party was still going strong, people chatting and drinking, laughing and telling stories with each other. you thought nothing of the crowd, quietly excusing yourself with everyone you bumped into and looking around for some kind of indication of where the bathroom was. just as you were about to go down a hallway, a tispy atsumu draped himself over your back, turning you around and squeezing you while he laughed.
“hey, what are ya doin’? the party’s out here!” glaring at him over your shoulder, you tried your best to shove off the arms around your shoulders and wiggle away. “i just need to use the bathroom atsumu, get off!”
atsumu let out a huff and straightened himself out, letting go of you and pointing to one of the doors down the hallway you were about to enter. “‘s that one.”
rolling your eyes, you made you way down the hallway, looking back to find atsumu trying to throw himself over sakusa like he had you. without a second glance, you opened the bathroom door and went inside, sighing as you slowly turned the lock. truth was, even with osamu here, this party was really wearing you out.
“oh, did you need to use the bathroom?” shrieking in sheer fright at the voice, you turned around to find the ace of the night, looking very spooked from the sound of your yelling. he was standing in front of the mirror, maybe three feet away, with his shirt tossed on the countertop in front of him.
it took you a few seconds of staring at him in shock, eyes grazing over his pecs and defined abs before your tensed up and swiftly turned, mumbling out rushed apologies as you tried to leave the room. but, alas, with your terrible luck, the lock snapped off as you turned it, leaving you locked in the bathroom with the obnoxious man you had been avoiding all night.
“oh no..” bokuto, who had watched you in your flustered state try to leave the room, whispered quietly as you turned to face him again, the broken lock in your fingertips.
once you realized that he was still shirtless, you covered your eyes with your free hand, huffing out as a chill ran down your spine in embarrassment. “could you put on a shirt please?” he said nothing for a moment, making no movement to put a shirt back on, until he noticed the your nervous fidgeting, pressing your back against the door and the trembling of your hand covering your eyes.
now bokuto may have failed math, but reading people was one of his biggest strengths. he reached over and tugged his discarded shirt back over his body, humming as he caught the movement of his arms in the mirror.
“okay, it’s on. what now?”
slowly moving your hand from your eyes, your body slowly relaxed seeing the man in front of you fully clothed. the lock was still in your hand, snapped clean off the handle. how had you managed that? either you gained superhero strength, or there was more than average wear and tear to it. “uh.. i don’t know.”
bokuto gazed at you curiously, the curve of your lips and the dainty fluttering of your eyelashes as you blinked. something about how smooth your skin looked had him entranced. it didn’t help his wandering gaze to wander down towards your outfit. a cute little dress managing to fit you just right, the color looking so lovely against your skin tone. he would’ve remained contently trapped in his observation of you, but the movement of your hands, raising to push your hair back, a nervous habit of yours, snapped him out of it.
while he had been focused on you so intensely, you tried to fight the racing of your heartbeat. only a few seconds had passed since you last spoke in response to him, and you remembered that you had left your phone out in the kitchen with osamu.
“do you happen to have your phone on you?” bokuto hummed, reaching into his pockets and pulling out the device. you sighed in relief, watching him unlock it, until he tapped onto a game app and began to play. “don’t you think you should text someone to get us out of here?” he looked up, finding you looking at him expectantly. with an eager nod, he opened his messages and scrolled through his messages until he found kuroo, clicking his contact and pressing the call button.
after three much too long rings, the line went through and the muffled sound of a party came through bokuto’s speaker. “bo! where are you? we’re waiting for you, the team wanted to toast!”
you watched as his golden eyes lit up and he smiled widely, letting out a shout. “no way! i’m stuck in the bathroom, come and get me!” kuroo drunkenly laughed over the line, and the sound of the party began to get quieter. you sighed silently in relief, glad that someone would be letting you out of this much to awkward situation.
“how did you get stuck in the bathroom? don’t tell me you’re asking me to help you take your pump pictures, because the last time i did you tried to convince me to take nude shots—”
before kuroo could even finish, bokuto hung up, his face flushing brightly as you tried to hide your grin at his embarrassment. it took only a second for bokuto to try and stutter out some kind of explanation, each word causing him to become more and more flustered, as your grin widened. after he couldn’t get out anymore words without becoming tongue tied, he whined and ran a hand through his hair. “this is so embarrassing..” his mood plummeted, and he sunk to his knees, head hanging low.
letting out a laugh, you smoothed your dress out over the back of your legs and sunk down next the him. “bokuto?”
in response, he mumbled something under his breath, not lifting his head. biting your lip to try and keep from smiling, finding his state somewhat adorable. in the few minutes you had been stuck in a room with him, bokuto proved to be very emotional and maybe.. wasn’t as bad as you initially thought he was. placing your hand on his shoulder you tilted your head closer to where his eyes were stuck on the floor, prompting his eyes to slide over to meet yours. “don’t worry, i won’t judge you. i mean.. plenty of people take.. nude pictures.”
your giggling cut through your words, straight into his brain as you tried to comfort him. his head lifted, watching you smile and look at him. something told him you weren’t making fun of him. when he noticed your hand on his shoulder, he almost flexed instinctually. he’d be damned if you didn’t think he was strong.
“yeah.. and i got the muscles to pull it off don’t you think?” he grinned cheekily, curling his arm and flexing his bicep, watching your hand slip down his arm.
once you realized you were touching his muscles like some fangirl, you shivered and quickly pulled your hand away, trying to avoid bokuto’s dejected gaze. “yeah, you definitely do.” a silence developed between the two of you, and you moved back to lean against the edge of the bathtub as he followed.
his warm skin pressed against yours and the two of you enjoyed the silence for a moment. the wriggling of the doorknob interrupted the peace of the moment. “bokuto! unlock the door!”
both of you stood up at the sound of kuroo’s voice, bokuto going up to stand in front of the door. “the lock broke. can you get it open?” there was a few more rough twists of the knobs before kuroo sighed through the door, calling out, “i’m gonna try and kick it open, back up.”
bokuto ushered you to stand in the bathtub, blocking your view of the door just in time for the door to bust open, hitting the wall and splitting the door frame. waving his hand in front of his face from the small amount of dust, kuroo entered, face morphing in surprise seeing you stand in front of bokuto, clutching onto the front of his shirt unconsciously.
“oh, did i come at the wrong time?” and suddenly you realized how close you were to bokuto, nearly pressed against his chest, fingers twisted in the fabric of his shirt as his hands ghosted your waist. it seemed as though bokuto had also realized this, his face flushing while you stepped out of the bathtub, bowing your head and muttering your thanks to kuroo as you hastily made your way out of the bathroom.
“dude, what was that all about?” bokuto barely registered the words coming from his friend, still lost in the closeness that he had just lost. saying nothing, he shook his head and moved past him, making his way back to the party to find you.
as you entered the kitchen, your hurried to grab your phone and the jacket you had thrown over your chair. “woah, what’s the deal?” osamu looked up from his phone, eyebrows furrowing at your panicked state. “no time samu, i gotta go.” the twin cursed under his breath, rushing after you as you left the kitchen, slithering through the crowd. and of course, curse your luck again, as you were trying to leave you had bumped right into bokuto.
you had no chance to escape as his hand gently closed around your wrist, tugging you towards the door. “if you were gonna leave, you could’ve said good-bye, y’know?”
pursing your lips, your tried to avoid his gaze, feeling your skin get hot regardless of the chilly night air. he stepped forward and gazed down at you, a serious expression on his face. “can i at least do one thing before you go?” swallowing thickly, you nodded, searching his eyes as he leaned closer. at this point you could smell his expensive cologne and shampoo, no doubt having showered before the party after the hard game. your eyes fluttered shut as his lips pressed gently against your forehead.
even when his lips left your skin, he stood close to you, both of your eyes still closed as you enjoyed each other’s presence. “i have to get your number from atsumu now.”
you let out a laugh, opening your eyes and shyly meeting the gaze of the man in front of you.
“i would really like that.”
#haikyuu!!#haikyu#haikyuu#bokuto fluff#bokuto koutarou#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto haikyuu#haikyuu koutarou#bokuto scenarios#bokuto#haikyuu kuroo#kuroo testuro#kuroo#msby fluff#msby bokuto#bokuto oneshot#bokuto x reader#bokuto fic
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Reader feels lots of regrets, and Bokuto helps comfort them
Genre comfort, established relationship, domestic, gn reader
Wc 2164
Contents: hard on self, difficulty eating when stressed, food positivity/neutrality (intuitive eating/nonjudgemental eating), and of course comfort
a/n back at it again i 2023 lmfao bet you thought you’d seen the last of me etc etc lmfao haven’t uploaded in so long that i forgot my format whoops also i made a discord server hopefully the link works otherwise that would be embarrassing thanks
requested by @heart-an0n hope you like it and that it’s somewhat relevant to what you had in mind/wanted!
#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
The future is uncertain, and the past is a mistake, and the present is shit, so where are you supposed to be?
You can’t seem to shut down everything at once. If it’s not turmoil in your brain, then it’s in your tummy or chest. No wonder you hate being in the present moment, if the only time you’re ever in it is when you’re in pain.
You have no one to blame but yourself. As usual.
Your shame spiral swirls around you, thoughts smeared all over your brain, viscous and gluttonous. There’s nothing you can do when the overstimulation comes from within yourself.
Right?
That's how you feel, at least.
You wait.
That’s all you can do.
You wait.
You won’t be comforted. Not on your own. No comfort tv, no coloring books, no pets, no music.
You want someone to do it for you. Is that so wrong?
You shame yourself for being too dependent and lazy while you wait for Bokuto to come home, which is taking a bit longer than expected, since he stopped on the grocery store on the way home.
See? He’s doing something for you again. You can’t do anything! Leech leech leech!, you chant at yourself, just in case being mean to yourself was going to fix all your problems.
It hasn’t in the past, but what if it works this time? Don’t know until you try.
The front door clicks open and you hear rustling as Bokuto shuffles around, entering your shared abode.
“I’m home!” he announces.
“Welcome home,” you say. You’re not sure he heard you. But you know he trusts that you said it, and so even if he can’t hear it, you have to say it.
He kisses the top of your head on the way to taking the groceries to the kitchen. You want to get up and follow him but you don’t have the energy. You thought seeing him would magically blast you with the superpower to get up but alas. Some things not even Bokuto can fix.
You can’t unthink the thought. You wish you could. You wish you didn’t like scaring yourself with worst case scenarios.
He starts dinner and comes in to check on you.
“Have you eaten?” he asks.
You shake your head.
Bokuto never judgmentally sighs at you because he’s too nice. But if he was one to do that, the long pause in the air would have been the time to do it.
“Do you want a snack before dinner?”
How can you eat at a time like this?
“Chips?” he asks.
It’s so funny because you’re an adult! You can do whatever you want! You can have ice cream for dinner! Or chips as an appetizer! You can ruin your appetite however much you want!
But there’s still a nagging thought in your head before you do it like some judgmental parents are going to get you in trouble if you do.
But you can’t ruin an appetite you don't have.
Bokuto goes back into the kitchen and rummages around.
He returns with a bag of chips and eats one in front of you, then waves the bag over to you.
You sigh at yourself. You take a chip.
You see Bokuto move like he’s almost going to do a fist pump but then he stops himself. He’s not going to throw chips all over the floor. Again.
“Do you want to hang out with me while I cook?” he asks.
You really can’t say no. It is all you want. You wrap the blanket around yourself and follow him.
He smiles at you in amusement.
“What?” you ask. “Don’t say I look like a penguin,” you say, at the same time he says,” you look like a penguin.”
You level him with a look. He knows you don’t mean anything by it, so he blinks innocently.
Bokuto really is content to have you watch him cook. He doesn’t ask you to help at all. But if you didn’t think you’d get in the way with your blanket, you would.
But.
You need the blanket more than you need to feel useful.
You’re already at rock bottom, so who cares?
“How was your day?” you ask, cutting Bokuto off succinctly.
He knows how you are. He lets you distract them both with his day first. He tells you about his workout, media appearances, meetings, whatever funny stuff happened with his teammates, travel agents, room assignments, reality shows.
He chops and steams and stirs.
He washes his hands and holds your face carefully.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.
“It’s the same old stuff,” you mumble.
He squishes your face.
“It’s okay, I can listen again,” he says. “I love listening to you talk, and also supporting you.”
“Okay,” you said, but it sounds like “waaauuuuu” because he is still squishing your face.
You and he set the table and sit down to eat.
You serve yourself the portion size you think you can stomach while you hate yourself and feel awful, and Bokuto doesn’t say anything, because maybe you’ll feel better later, and you’ll be ready to have a snack at this point. It’s more important that you eat whatever you’re comfortable with now, than eat nothing at all, and he would never shame you for your eating habits. You’re allowed to make your own choices.
You start your story with “you know ______” and you’re always amazed at what he does remember (the most intricate tiny details) and what he doesn’t remember (stuff that you think is really obvious, but it’s not because he doesn’t listen, or anything. Honestly it’s just funny at this point.)
And you explain the situation and what the trigger was as to why you are thinking about past regrets now.
And you know he wants to stop you because you are going into a spiral and it doesn’t really help to spiral. You don't think you’re really learning new information at this point.
But you just want him to know all the facts and details and how wrong and bad you are so he can make an accurate assessment of the situation.
He looks at you and listens attentively throughout your story.
You sigh. “Okay. I’m done,” you say.
He opens his mouth and you burst out, “oh also,” and finish up some last details.
He listens.
“I’m done for real this time,” you say.
“If you have more to share, that’s okay, too, and I want to listen,” he says. “But I’m going to respond now, if that’s what you want?”
You nod.
He sighs.
“The most important thing is that you learn,” he says.
Shame bubbles in you. Of course he’s going to think you’re wrong and bad. You also think that. You weren’t telling him so that he would absolve you of guilt.
But it still feels bad to have your worst fears confirmed (that you already believe about yourself.)
“And you already have,” he says. “Numerous times.”
You know this. You know that this is the only thing someone can say to you. You wished it helped.
“What would help?” he asks.
You sigh. You’ve never thought about it in that way. You don’t know.
“I wish it never happened,” you say.
“Other than that,” he says.
You look at your plate. You look at a scuff on the wallpaper. You look at the line where Bokuto’s eyebrow hairs shift from pointing up to pointing to the side. “I just wish I wasn’t wrong.”
“It’s okay to be wrong,” he says. “It’s actually super okay and normal. People are wrong all the time. And some people don't even care! Some people are horribly wrong and just keep being that way, forever.”
You know this. If everyone cared ten percent as much as you care about being wrong then maybe the world would be less…like this.
“Even if you’re the villain in someone else’s story, you don’t have to be the villain in your own story. And just because that other person doesn’t forgive you, doesn’t mean you can’t move on. And even if you’re the villain in your own story, you can make different decisions next time. You learned. You grew. You want to do better. That’s all that matters.”
You feel tears peeking out. He swiftly moves to your side and hands you a tissue.
You rest your head in his chest and a sob bursts forth. You always cry the most (the best?) with Bokuto. He’s the only person you feel safe enough to be like this with.
Except now you're crying so you can’t intellectually remember all that because your ears are filled with the sound of your own crying. Your brain is filled only with that audio, and the sensation of cold tears on your hot cheeks, and the heaviness of your nose running, and the solidness of Bokuto as he lets you press yourself against him. He will not let you go until you are ready.
He pats your head and back and hands you more tissues.
You look at him, watery and poised for another outburst.
“I don’t want to be a bad person,” you sob. “I’m sorry I’m a bad person.”
He says your name softly and presses soft kisses to your head. He hugs you.
You breath through all the fluids and your chest feels emptier. Your head feels clearer. You’re afraid to feel shame again. You’re afraid to let this go in case you make another mistake again.
You don't want to make another mistake again.
It’s always hanging over your head, all the mistakes.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” you say.
“Do you want to talk some more?” he asks. “Do you want some water?”
You nod.
“Water?” he asks.
You nod again.
He goes and grabs your water bottle (how he knows where it is when you didn’t even know will remain a mystery) and opens it for you. You take a small sip. The coldness in your throat and tummy feels like a wall between you crying and you now.
“I love you so much, no matter what,” he says.
“I love you, too.”
“Seriously,” he says. “I know you know, but I am telling you.”
You nod.
“Even if you do stuff that makes you think you’re a bad person,” he says.
You shake your head.
“Don’t shake your head at me,” he says.
You’re working on the part of you that thinks you don’t deserve him, that he’s too good for you, that you’re not good enough for him. You’re working on that part. But it makes its presence known, during your lowest moments.
But Bokuto loves all parts of you. Even the parts of you that are painful for him. He loves all of you and knows that you are a person with a whole past and habits and attitudes and beliefs. And he knows that you love him and are trying your best every day, just like how he loves you and is trying his best every day.
“I love you no matter what you dom” he says. “Being a good person and a bad person doesn’t matter, anyway. It’s not real. We’re all just people. I love you so much because you’re you.”
You’re learning to accept that, but even if there’s a part of you that doesn’t believe it, Bokuto loves that part of you, too. And you love all of him, so if logic decides to ever work one day, you’ll be set.
“You’re beautiful and amazing, but that’s not all there is to you. It's okay that you’re not perfect. That’s not why I love you. That’s not why I started loving you, and that’s not why I love you now. I think you’re perfect for me, but that’s because I know that we’re both choosing this life together every day. I’m so grateful and think you’re perfect and amazing because you’re my partner. We’re in this together.”
You nod. You hug him and he hugs you back.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“Okay,” you say quietly, because a part of you still feels like if you’re too loud about your happiness, it might get taken away.
“I’m glad,” he says. “I’m proud of you and love you.”
“I love you, too,” you say. “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” he says. “Thanks for letting me be there for you.”
He makes you drink some more water and you help him put away the leftovers (which you’re probably going to dip back into in a few hours when you’re feeling snackish—and when you do, a little part of Bokuto will relax with relief, because even though he never judges you or pressures you, he wants you to be healthy, happy, and nourished. He loves you so much and wants the best for you. And he feels so lucky because he knows you would do the same for him.)
#gn reader#bokuto#haikyuu#comfort#comfort fic#bokuto comfort#bokuto comfort fic#haikyuu comfort#haikyuu comfort fic#in 2023? anyone here? jk#reader insert#reader insert fic#haikyuu reader insert#reader insert comfort#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu fic#bokuto fic#bokuto x reader#bokuto kotaro#Bokuto Koutarou#bokuto kotaro x reader#bokuto fanfiction#i tag into the void and hope it reaches somebody#love yall#i dont open my ask box bc im afraid of mean people but#dms are open
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𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬 . 𝐤. 𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨
wc: 0.6k - cw: breakup - genre: light angst
note: hi lol i’m like,, on an indefinite hiatus bc i fell off anime and now write for kpop lol && idk if i’ll repost some of my old fics bc i think my writing style has changed a bit and i don’t really have the motivation to rewrite them :0
“so i guess this is the end?”
you nod, willing yourself to make brief eye contact with bokuto before gluing your eyes back to the open palms of your hands that lay idle on your lap. his eyes, oh god, his eyes are red. they’re downcast and there’s a distinctive absence of the sparkle that’s invariably present. his hair flops on the sides of his face and his entire expression, even from a moment’s notice, is entirely solemn.
you don’t blame him. a breakup is difficult to process and you’re certain your demeanor matches his as you raise your forearm to blot the hot tears pooling in your eyes.
“i guess,” you reply, sniffling as you take a deep breath and continue, “but thank you, thank you so much kou. thank you for loving me and thank you for being so great to me. i’m so grateful to have met you and i’ll never regret being with you because these past two years have been some of the best thanks to you,”
at this point, you’re sobbing, and the noise isn’t clear enough through your ears for you to comprehend if bokuto’s bawling just like you are.
“i’m thankful for you too, y/n. Honestly, i don’t know what i’ll do without you, but i’m so, so, so proud of how far you’ve come and that you've got the strength to tell me that you need time to figure yourself out,” he sniffles, pausing between sentences as he hesitantly inches closer to you one millimeter at a time. bokuto wants nothing more than to hold you in his arms, but now because he can’t just thoughtlessly reach out and hug you, he waits for your wordless permission.
you gradually shift closer on instinct as well, leaning into bokuto and offering him the confirmation that you’re okay with him hugging you. bokuto slowly envelops you in his arms, breathing in the hug as he holds on, wondering when the next time he’d be able to hug you like this would be.
“i honestly don’t know what i’ll do without you either,” you laugh weakly, still choking out tears as you try to alleviate the heaviness in the air. bokuto chuckles a little, patting the back of your head gently as your hands lay dormant against his chest.
“you’re super smart, y/n. i have no doubt that you’ll find who you are and learn to love yourself. you’ll figure it out, i know it,” he hums, breathing out a soft smile “and i love you, i always will. you’ll always have me, you know? don’t forget that i’m cheering you on! every step of the way, y/n!”
“thank you, kou, really,” you whisper, still sniffling as the tears that had been violently flowing ceaselessly eventually come to a lull, “i’m cheering you on and i love you too. i don’t think i’ll ever stop, and i don’t think i can,”
you smile, sinking further into bokuto’s arms as the two of you relish in the final embrace of your final embrace. there’s no sliver of resentment, rather there’s wholehearted support and love for one another instead.
because in the most uncomplicated of terms, things just didn’t work out for the two of you. neither of you were in the right stages of your life to pursue a serious relationship, but it didn’t spell a definite end. the future of you and bokuto remained unwritten and out in the open.
and maybe years beyond, the two of you will meet again in more favorable circumstances and a potential relationship would work out.
#aya's fics ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭#haikyuu x reader#bokuto angst#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto x reader#haikyuu angst#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu oneshot#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu#bokuto#bokuto scenarios#bokuto imagines#bokuto fic#hq#hq x reader#hq angst#hq imagines#hq scenarios
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