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specialgrades · 10 months

Note

Not really a request but what are your headcanons on the JJK men's dick sizes?

OHOHO cracks knuckles i can do that. going full in like nanami should be in me rn dick-scriptions time

characters: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, toji fushiguro, sukuna, choso, atsuya kusakabe

GOJO SATORU : a bit above average, a good 6.5 ~ 7in. slight curve upwards. a good 2.5 ~ 3.5in thick. pretty pink flush on the tip, shaft a few shades darker than his skin tone. cut. carpets match the drapes of course, he keeps it trimmed. fun trail tell me i'm wrong (i'm not). super sensitive vein on the underside. sensitive thighs too. grower.

GETO SUGURU : honestly, average cock size. he rounds up to five inches but we all know it's 4 3/4. two inches thick. like gojo, a nice pink flush and a few shades darker. no curve. for sure has a piercing, prince albert probably; silver jewelry. uncut. not a jungle, mildly maintained. sensitive head, especially with the piercing. shower.

NANAMi KENTO : nothing overwhelming, though still impressive. 7.5in long, 3in thick. cut, duel toned because of it. top half is more pink than the rest. short trim. curve to the left. right under the head is the key, he'll bite back a really embarrassing noise if you focus there. grower.

TOJi FUSHiGURO : i pray for y'all toji simps for real, cause fuck. 8.5in easy. 4 inches thick minimum. man built like a tripod. uncut, darker with red undertones. upwards curve. jacob's ladder. three of 'em. this man doesn't shower i'm so sorry. two prominent veins when you pull back the foreskin, sensitive but he'll never show it. shower.

SUKUNA : i pray for y'all as well. find a pringles can. it's bigger. ten inches long, four inches thick. curves upwards and a tad to the right. cut, pale so it gets a nice flush. his tattoos make an appearance, wrapping around the shaft a few times. grower thank god.

CHOSO : average length, 5.5in but thick. four inches. curve to the right, uncut. darker than his skin tone by around four shades. not super trimmed, a delicious fun trail leading to a mild bush. mildly sensitive head, though go for his navel and you'll get a lovely show of him getting all breathy and twitching. shower.

ATSUYA KUSAKABE : i've only just met this man but i want him. carnally. so... six inches in length and 2.5 in width. cut, duel toned though you can't really tell until he's flushed and the top half goes a pretty dark pink. like choso, tasteful amount of hair with the fun trail. one prominent vein that's sensitive, under the head too. grower.

#💌 ; asks.#gonna tag. all of them. hello *dies*#jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #gojo satoru x male reader #geto suguru x male reader #nanami kento x male reader #toji fushiguro x male reader #sukuna x male reader #choso x male reader #atsuya kusakabe x male reader #tagging m!reader even tho it's not specific cutely #i wrote this instead of doing the dishes like my dad reminded me a good five times #me holding up a ruler while writing this: jesus christ. fuck.#i was gonna add mahito but that man can just change it at will and lies too. has never told the truth in his life #✏️ ; works.

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etherealstar-writes · 3 months

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I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 6

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: six

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

yourusername: a little photo dump

yourbestiesusername: i'm really proud of that first pic i took of you, i'm coming for your career

↳ yourusername: oi photography's my thing, go find another career

lucybronze: this is cute. you are really beautiful! ❤️

↳ yourusername: OMG NO WAY TYSM!! you're amazing ilysm!!

↳ lucybronze: thank you! @ yourusername

usera omg. the REAL lucy bronze commented on your post!!

↳ yourusername i am not okay rn

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

the imposter

YOU GUYS

GUESS WHAT OMG

the REAL karate kid

what happened?

lotte

is everything alright?

the imposter

NO EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY

neev

you're kinda scaring me now

the imposter

i know i'm not a woso fan yet

bcuz i'm still incredibly uncultured

and literally don't know anyone yet

elton

yeah we know

the imposter

BUT LUCY BRONZE COMMENTED ON MY POST

I AM SCREAMING

the REAL karate kid

WHAT

neev

WOAH WOAH

hold on

stairway

that old grandma can actually use insta??

rusty metal

that is so rude and offensive!

to that old grandma ....

the REAL karate kid

SHUT UP

rusty metal

the disrespect children have nowadays

unbelievable

well i'm glad she made your day y/n <3

the imposter

thank you!!!

i'm gonna go thrive in my happiness for the

rest of my life for a celebrity noticing me

peace out

lotte

well i'm glad she's happy

willybum

i need to up my game now

the REAL karate kid

me too

stairway

y'all are such simps

neev

says one of the simps herself

stairway

shut up niamh

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

brightness

you know

i just remembered that y/n is still in here

and we don't know like anything about her

at all

door knob

oh yeah

we only know her name

the imposter

i literally only kinda know your names

and that is it

neev

she got a point there

the imposter

honestly i don't get why i'm even still in this chat

not that i'm complaining

stairway

you've been fun to talk to these past few weeks

unlike most of the people on this group chat

who simply decide to ignore their notifications

elton

yeah fr

i didn't feel the need to make a new chat tbh

the imposter

i'm honoured?

elton

you should be

the imposter

uh okay ...

well

i'm 22

i'm a pro photographer and media editor/manager

and uhh i live in london?

idk what else to say tbh

stairway

photography's so cool!

the imposter

thank you!

earpsy

is toone being 10x more annoying

because i'm sick or?

the REAL karate kid

nah she's just that annoying

elton

now that is just rude

willybum

she has an encylcopedia on

how to be annoying

elton

STOP SAYING THAT WORD

wait

guys

neev

oh no

willybum

today on stupid stuff toone is going to say!

elton

oi! i'm not stupid!

the REAL karate kid

you literally thought germany started with j

elton

I WAS UNDER PRESSURE OKAY

anyway as i was about to say

isn't it crazy to think that the money you have

has probably been or could be in like

a stripper's bra or underwear at some point

the REAL karate kid

why does your brain function this way 😭

stairway

wait a sec-

....

she has a point

neev

STOP 😭

that is ALL what i'm gonna think about now

the imposter

never touching cash again that's for sure 😭

willybum

donating all my cash to the trash now

lotte

oh my days

why

just why

meado

WHAT DID I JUST READ 😭😭

part seven here

#lionesses x reader #woso x reader #engwnt x reader #engwnt #alessia russo x reader #leah williamson x reader #ella toone x reader #niamh charles x reader #georgia stanway x reader #lucy bronze x reader #lotte wubben moy x reader #woso imagine #woso #woso fanfics #women football

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h-harleybaby · 1 year

Note

this might be slightly boring but i saw it on another blog and it’s been plaguing my mind ever since

making out hcs w with Butters, Kyle and Kenny pls? 🥺 it does something feral to me man idk

Making out hcs with Butters, Kyle, and Kenny

Butters

• Butters kisses are usually really soft and gentle, y'all don't often make out because he gets too embarrassed

• He's pretty nervous but that's probably just because you're the first girl he's ever made out with and he wants to get it right for you

• He loves making out with you tho, whenever y'all do he swears sparks fly

• Turns out it just wasn't a good idea to make out in abandon building with bad wiring because sparks actually DID fly. Technically he was right tho

• He doesn't often take the lead with making out, he prefers to leave it up to you

• Butters is probably the type to accidentally moan in the kiss and feel really embarrassed about it and hope to god you didn't hear it

• You did. But you also really liked it and you encouraged him to do it more often/not hold back. He practically melted when you said that-

• He really likes it when you bite his lip while you're making out but he'll never admit that, he's scared you would think it's weird

• He's really physical, he just needs to have his hands on you. So often times he'll cup your cheeks or have his hands slightly under your shirt (only to hold your hips, he wouldn't dare go any farther without your permission)

• He also really likes it when tug on his hair a lil while y'all make out, he can't explain it for the life of him it just feels really good

Kyle

• Making out with Kyle is really sweet, I swear! He's just really awkward about it

• But it's honestly really cute <33

• He gets so scared because he's thinking "What if I kiss weirdly?? What if they don't like my kisses?? WHERE DO I PUT MY HANDS-"

• Ya know, that kinda stuff. You probably have to guide his hands to your waist or something so he'll stop mentally freaking out and sweating

• Hear me out, Kyle probably gets so nervous that his hands start shaking, and when you put his hands on your waist his finger literally will not stop tapping you. It's a nervous habit he has, like tapping your fingers on a desk

• Once he gets in the hang of it and stops freaking out he probably thinks he died and went to heaven. You gotta be an angel, right?!

• He's probably the type to smile into a kiss and whenever y'all separate he looks at you with heart eyes

• Although at first, kissing made him really nervous once he gets used to it, it probably calms him down and makes him act like a complete simp

• The world around him disappears because now all he can think of is you and your kisses

• He just can't get enough of you <3333

Kenny

• Kenny's really passionate when making out, and tbh he's always trying to make out with you

• He can't keep his hands to himself either, so they're gonna be everywhere

• He's also the kind of person who smirks into a kiss and literally grabs your waist to pull you in closer

• He loves when you have your hands in his hair when y'all make out, it just makes him more eager

• Y'all are probably a little light headed at the end of at least one kiss because he doesn't wanna let go

• Most of the time kisses between y'all end in making out, no matter where you are, even if it's just a lil peck

• Can you really blame him for wanting more?

• Hear me out on this, Kenny probably smokes and he accidentally got you addicted to his kisses because of the nicotine in the cigarettes he smokes

• Kenny feels really bad about it and he tries to quit smoking

• But he isn't complaining too much, it also means more making out for him

#south park x reader #h harleybaby needs help #south park x reader headcanons #butters x reader #butters stotch x y/n #butters stotch x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle x reader #Kyle broflovski x y/n #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny x reader #Kenny McCormick x y/n #Harley’s anons <33 #harley’s requests!

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smoochhyuka · 6 months

Text

Munch!Kai tasting heaven for the first time (HC)

Headcanons, I am working on a related imagine to this topic teehee. :>

○o。content warnings! nsfw, fem!reader, perv!kai, cunnilingus, pussy worship, simp!kai, committed relationship, brief mention of anal, mention of bondage

I do not think of Kai as a very sexual person, of course he has some urges like every healthy man his age, but that is the full extent of it

Until he met you, his sexy, cute, smart, perfect little girlfriend

I just think he is such a girlfriend-guy, especially since he doesn't have a lot of friends. All he cares about is you, he only needs you around for company (and his family and members ofc, this is a healthy codependency y'all!), you are enough to fulfill him in his life. And making you happy and satisfied in turn makes him happy. Happy wife happy life.

Anything you do gets him riled up. You dress up to go to a fancy restaurant with him? You are so cute, getting all dolled up just for him, looking so so gorgeous in that new, tight dress he brought you. You cut up some fruits for him to snack on? He is so lucky to have such a caring girlfriend to look out for him, you are surely going to help him with his other problem as well, right?

He is always a little horny around you.

He feels so blessed everytime you guys have sex. To him, it is like you are allowing him to do it with you.

Of course, he loves every part of you, especially your tummy, tits and thighs but nothing could have prepared him for your pussy.

The warm, wet and sensitive nerves have such a pretty and bright color. The smell exuding off of you is fogging his brain and your taste is addictive. The moment his tongue circled your clit he knew he was done for.

Your spongy walls take anything he gives them obediently, whether it being his cock, his tongue, a toy or his fingers.

He loves the way you squirm and twitch, he always needs to pin you down well. It prides him to know that your body feels so good and he also likes the dominance he has over you everytime he yanks you closer to him by your hips when you jolted a little too far away.

Did I mention he loves your smell? Sometimes he teases you all day, knowing you would get a little wetter everytime his innocent belly rubs would be a little too far down or everytime he whispers something mundane in your ear. Because running around in slightly damp underwear means a stronger smell that would hit him when he pulls them down in the evening.

Others might worry about it, but he doesn't mind worshipping your pussy after your workout. The only thing that comes to his mind is how creamy you get, nothing else. Brain empty.

Honestly it is a stress relieve for him. If something is bothering him or work has been a little too much to handle, he just asks you to sit on his face. It is like his whole mind shuts down and he is only fixated on the irresistible sensation on his tongue.

He has two favorite positions for cunnilingus. The first one being, as mentioned, you sitting on his face, his nose bumping your clit, his tongue in your hole. You can sit all the way down, your strong boyfriend doesn't mind, in fact, he welcomes it. The slight asphyxiation, not being able to move a lot, in combination with your concentrated smell is such an overwhelming experience that he is literally not able to think of anything else. He is quite literally pussy drunk. The other one is him on the floor and you sitting or lying at the edge of a bed, chair or coach. This allows him to lean into his submissive side, he feels like he is truly serving you instead of selfishly doing something to you. He can lock you in a tight position by your ass and seriously dig in without having to worry about being in a awkward position, since both of you are comfortable. If you grab him by his hair and tell him how good he is doing, he will see stars.

He is also so so noisy. Definitely a slurper, he would sometimes accentuate his tongue movements or wet splashes by 'emulating' them with his voice. If he is feeling more dominant, he will groan after a especially sweet noise of yours. He mumbles praises but you can't hear them since he is saying them with his head still between your legs, you only feel the vibrations. If he is leaning towards his submissive side he will whimper and moan a lot, especially when you pull his hair, order him around or praise him.

Let's just say, the last and only time Kai asked you to spread your legs at the dorm, all of the members were aware of what was happening.

Tried to edge you in the past but failed because he doesn't have the patience. He prefers to overstimulate you for that reason, that means he doesn't need to pull away.

Most of the time he is rather rough, because he eats you out like a starving madman. But sometimes, sometimes he just needs a little sweetness in life. Especially after a fight, something sad or tragic happened in either of your lives or he is just tired, he will be so gentle. His tongue delicately teasing you hole and folds, mostly ignoring your clit. Placing hot, open mouthed kisses onto it instead. Only his finger tips circling your entrance, sometimes toying with your other hole as well, sticking his index finger inside if you are okay with it.

He prefers you to wear as little clothing as possible for it, since he gets so messy with it. If you put on new lingerie for him he will most like take at least the bottom of so none of you (only you) worry about it.

He also likes to be fully naked, he gets so turned on and hot that clothing just feels uncomfortable. His dick is pulsating and twitching way too much to be confined, especially since he leaks a lot of precum. But if him wearing his clothes turns you on, he will gladly leave them on.

Everytime you are on your period he gets so sad. If you are comfortable, you can just go clean up/shower, put a tampon in and he will still eat it though.

He takes pride in his pussy eating skills, you made him aware how many women are willing to give up anything for a munch like him.

He also likes watching you masturbate, on video and in real life. If he is submissive, you can tie him up, sit in front of him or his stomach and just please yourself. It is frustrating so see, but also so hot. He can smell and see you, but not taste and touch you. Sometimes you will pump his bright pink cock. He will squirm around a lot, beg, whine to just let him have a quick taste. As soon as you are close to cumming you sit on his face to let him do the rest, the moment you come on his face he also does.

Kissing your lips is his love language.

#hueningkai hard hours #hueningkai hard thoughts #hueningkai x reader #hueningkai smut #txt smut #smoochwrites

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restinslices · 3 months

Note

Would u be down doing earth realm boys or Lin Kuei boys doing karaoke? U can write whoever you want first

It is currently 9:32am and I have not been to sleep since 6pm yesterday. I feel delusional. If something doesn’t make sense, blame that.

Moving on-

I’m joking but Bi-Han gives me the vibes that he only moves his arm during Just Dance and complains because “it only tracks your arm! You don't have to do anything else!”

That's not the point. Have some fun and bust a move

If you beg enough, he just might crack depending on the day

Thing is though, he's not really speaking. He's just saying the lyrics

Y'all are also not doing this in public. This is something y'all would do at home with a youtube video in the back

You're singing your heart out (even if you can't sing) and he's literally just speaking

You: SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS ALL THE TIME, I TRY TO CAPTURE EVERY MINUUUUTTTEEE ♫ 💃🏾

Him: The feeling in it😐

Honestly idk why you'd even wanna karaoke with him

Telling him he's killing the vibe won't work either. He's either doing it his way or not at all

He's also picky when it comes to songs

Prefers slower songs

Which is wild because like?? You're hardly participating

A short karaoke session. Only does a few songs or one long one

Only long song I can think of rn is American Pie

And he'd pick that one specifically so he can be one and done

Also probably picks random ass sad songs. Bi-Han I do not wanna hear that right now

He says he doesn't like it but gets offended if you ask Kuai Liang or Tomas instead of him. He wants to be asked and say no. Don't just ask them

Give him a little performance. He'll roll his eyes but if you don't then he'll think something is wrong

Prefers karaoke with just you two. I know I said private beforehand but he means it. Just you two alone in a room. He refuses to do his lackluster ass singing in front of people

However, if his mood is better than it usually is, you could talk your way into letting his brothers join. Especially if you promise he won't have to sing as much

Yes on occasions

It's not frequent but that's just because he's busy. Not because he doesn't like it

Idk if he can sing and I'm not getting a certain vibe but he'll do it anyway

Cannot do any fast songs or faster parts because he'll have an aneurism

Pulls out the most random old song his father showed him when he was younger

Likes duets because he can sing lower than you, so he's still participating but can't be heard

Not a short session but not necessarily long. He just gets tired at some point

Will gladly listen to you though. Even if your voice is straight ass

It's bonding so it's fine and you're happy

Also does it privately but for different reasons. Bi-Han is “I refuse to let anyone hear this”, and Kuai Liang is “no one should have to suffer and hear this”

Also idk how often they leave their home for casual shit so going to an actual karaoke place is foreign to him

Probably likes love songs as well

Giving him or Tomas a mini concern will result in lots of laughter even if he tries to hide it at first

He's not singing his heart out but he's not just saying the lyrics. He's doing a decent job

Enjoys listening to you more than he enjoys actually singing because of how expressive you are

He'll never turn down free entertainment

Idk why but I feel like he'd wanna sit by you while doing karaoke or have you sit on his lap

I just imagine it's really cute and the karaoke video is playing on your phone while cuddled next to him

Idk, maybe I'm just a simp for him

I just think he's a little romantic at heart fr. Singing stupid ass corny shit while being close

Sometimes it'd be spur of the moment. If you start, he'd listen

It's an activity he’d be down for every once in awhile

Willing to do karaoke the most often

Probably feels bad for being busy so when he's not he's like “yeah totally”

The one brother to not do only slow songs

I think he also will have an aneurism if he tries to do faster parts of a song

But he can sing songs at a so called normal pace

Invites his brothers to join

Probably invites the Earthrealm champions and Syzoth too. It's turning into a party

He hardly does anything fun so he's taking advantage of this

Is probably also cuddled next to you

It's disgusting to everyone else

Tomas either has a very heavenly voice or a voice that would frighten the most vicious monster

Either way, he's hitting a high note

I don't think he's been to a karaoke place either so it's probably not there

It honestly could be at Johnny's place. Johnny didn't kick his ass so he doesn't feel rage in his heart when he sees him

I think he's a pop girlie

Enjoys karaoke because it brings everyone together and it's an activity that won't cause some sort of trauma or death

Hopefully

Maybe

He's isolated and bored all the time

I don't think it's frequent because his schedule but if you want to and he's free then he's down

Also cool with private karaoke between the two of you

Doesn't necessarily have a preference

Probably doesn't have a favorite song either. It changes depending on the day

I have not been able to sleep properly since last week or so. I’m losing my grip on reality 😀

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #bi han sub zero #bi han #kuai liang #kuai liang scorpion #tomas vrbada smoke #tomas vrbada #bi han headcanons #kuai liang headcanons #tomas vrbada headcanons #mk1 headcanons

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shortpplfedup · 7 months

Text

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 7

Listen, I didn't know how badly I wanted Mew/Ray until there was a legit chance of Mew/Ray and now IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. Another killer episode as all the shit gets laid bare, Nick and Sand cement their bond over being pathetic simps for men who do not love them, Top sits in the loser feeling and DOES NOT LIKE IT and...OH YEAH MEW AND RAY ARE DATING NOW I GUESS. Last week Top ran away with the audience poll as I learned the valuable lesson that y'all actually pay attention to the poll question and I should probably think about it a bit more...lol. Here's my rankings for this week

🔹1. Ray (1)

It’s never too late, Mew. I love you no matter what. It’s all up to you whether you want to open your heart to me.

I almost gave it to Mew because FUCKING EPIC but Ray actually got everything he ever wanted by the end of this episode: Mew has decided to give him a chance, even if it's as a rebound. And y'all, I am INTO IT. They're never gonna have sex, obvi, because Mew high key isn't interested and Ray is #1 simp so dumb obsessed he'll never push it, but I'm still enjoying the flavour. Besides, when Ray gets horny or needs actual affection, he'll just call Sand anyway...OOP. So yeah, Ray wins the week.

🔺2. Mew (3)

I stopped being a good guy. I got no shit from that. To deal with nasty people, I must be as nasty as them.

Wasn't it fascinating that when it was time to break bad Mew a) looked to Ray for style inspo, b) decided to let Ray sniff it one time and c) is leaning into the Ray Life? I wanna dissect Mew like a lab specimen. He's like 'I'm gonna be shitty too' and then just...becomes Ray. Then he Boston-style mansplains manipulates manwhores his way into possessing Boston's sex tape. And THEN in what has to be a 100% Mew move (because neither Ray nor Boston would EVER) threatens to out Boston to his dad, but then Uno reverses it like OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU. And he looked like he REALLY fucking enjoyed that vantage point from the moral high ground. He really looks down on those friends of his huh. And his destiny for always having to 'win' his friendships and relationships is being betrayed and cheated on...don't @ me it's canon. I WANT TO STUDY MEW SO BAD, because from one angle he looks righteous and from another he looks like the living fucking worst. Amy Elliot-Dunne, here's looking at you kid.

🔺3. Boston (6)

Okay. I’m here to get yelled at. Yell at me all you want. Get it over with. Come on. I don’t expect it to be over. I just want you to vent. Fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was unintentional. It was so nice of me to introduce Mew to something new. I just borrowed him for a bit. What’s a big deal? Let’s be honest here. Without my help, there was no way Mew got his hands on a top-tier like that.

Boston sashaying into the hostel totally unrepentant is a top 5 Only Friends MOMENT and I LIVED for it. He decided the 'brazen' part of 'brazen slut' was the part to lean into and honestly, as one of the few people this ep actually owning their shit I respected the hell out of that. YEAH I FUCKED HIM, I FUCKED HIM BEFORE YOU DID, AND I FUCKED HIM AGAIN AND SO WHAT? In Boston's mind, everybody wins here: Ray wins, because Mew is single again, Mew wins because he knows Top's an untrustworthy cheater, and he wins because he wanted to fuck Top and he fucked Top. Everybody wins, let's just move on. I love the simplicity of Boston's worldview, and how internally consistent and oddly pure it is. He has the morals of an alley cat, but he never LIES. He'll manipulate, but he never actually deceives. In some ways you can trust him absolutely, he's unwavering. Fascinating.

🔹4. Nick (4)

I love him. He doesn’t have to care about me. I don’t have to be his number one. But he must not hate me. Do you get it?

Man, Nick and Sand were almost tied because equally pathetic this week, but at least Nick got a teensy bit of a kick in by telling Mew about the sex tape. Also interesting how he didn't rat Sand out to Boston despite Sand clearly not thinking or really caring about how sharing the audio clip would blow back on Nick. Nick's a creep, but he has a little bit of a code. Do I feel sorry for him, no I don't, but maybe a teeny tiny bit.

🔻5. Sand (2)

I’m your emergency staff anyway. I’ve always been since the first day we met.

I cannot believe that in episode 7 of Only Friends we got a scene where Sand and Nick hug each other and cry together over how pathetically they simp for shitty men who will never love them. WHOMST is doing it like Jojo n'em, I ask you? THAT MAN CALLED YOU A WHORE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE and then did it again while flinging you to the ground and in return you rescued him from a car crash, fed, bathed and shaved him. Sand has a degradation kink, that's the only thing that makes sense here I swear, because how can one human be down THIS atrocious? I wanna see how low he can go, and I also wanna see if we're getting that baseball bat and WHOM FOR. All the things I wished for Nick before the show aired, I now wish for Sand. Boil that bunny baby.

🔺6. Top (7)

I will make you fall in love with me again.

Top really stunned that he's lost. Look, I know my read on Top isn't the consensus read on Top, and yeah maybe I'm wrong, but to me this is only incidentally about Mew, because for Top Mew is a means of self-actualization. Getting Mew to be his boyfriend was awesome, because it means TOP is awesome. Losing Mew over a rookie fucking mistake is a tragedy because it means Top is a loser. Getting Mew back would reaffirm Top's awesomeness to himself. TOP LOVES THE IDEA OF MEW, NOT MEW. I wish I could show you guys the parade of Tops that my peeps and I have met in life so you could understand why I cannot stand this man and want to see him in ruins. But yeah, he's on the rise, because Mew is totally gonna take him back after his disaster run with Ray.

🔺7. Gap (8)

That look you gave. Was it intended to lure me to come after you?

Drake is back yet again, my favourite guest star. They totally cheated by not letting Gap and Mew actually touch lips, although that's probably character accurate. But Mew gets somebody else to look down on and feel morally superior to, and that's his version of an orgasm so Gap totally got SPIRITUALLY laid.

🔻8. Cheum (5)

I was rooting for Top. I thought he was a good guy.

At least she's keeping the group project afloat so they don't fail this damn class, but literally NOBODY ELSE thought Top was a good guy, NOT EVEN MEW. Jesus fix it girl.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

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tsukino-hikari · 6 months

Text

Uppermoon Headcannons - Their Weak Points to Their Darling

This is my first actual post that I personally wrote so... Pls don't judge

Warnings: 18+ Content (mentioned), Swearing

Muzan

I'm sorry but I cannot say he isn't hot

So this guy is very possessive and I swear do not mess with him unless you want to lose the ability to walk for weeks to come

BUT even the mighty Muzan Kibutsuji has his weak spots

For instance, when you play with his hair after an absolutely fucked-up week I tell you he will enjoy it

Or when you just... do as he says without complaining and all that shit and he will slightly appreciate it

He would be softer to you than to others but don't get your hopes up... He shall punish you very badly if you misbehave (which is what you do all the time lol)

Since you're his precious doll he will not kill you (fortunately) and will leave bites and hickeys all over you

I swear don't reject them, you'll regret it

For all those Muzan lovers out there I have one thing to tell you: If you behave you shall be blessed with the ability to stay alive in his presence

I swear to God this man is easy to enrage

So be careful, kay?

Kokushibo

My fav Boyyyy

First things first: he is an elegant gentleman that will not hurt his darling without reason (like Muzan)

So you can be more playful with him :)

He makes the best food ever and please reassure him that you love him because my guy is insecure

He will melt even if you give him the smallest of things, such as holding his hand, hugging his waist (I'm sorry but he is TALL), and small kisses on his face

He can get possessive, but only when he feels that being so is necessary to get you to stap with your bullshit

Overall he is a nice guy once you get to know him and I am not lying when I say he is a good cushion to snuggle in

PS he will punish you for your stupidities but will take good care of you afterwards

(Because he doesn't want to lose you, obviously)

@koku-shibou

Douma

Y'all know who this is?

This is the most sadistic person you shall ever encounter in your life

Change my mind

Anyways his soft spots would probably be your aggressiveness, because so far everyone worships him and he doesn't get that often from a human

He finds it cute, how you’re trying so hard to reject him but epically failing

Will tease you till you lose your mind

Will punish you if for no reason because he is a bitch

Sugar Daddy

For all the girls out there that simp him, y’all better be sex-resistant

Cause otherwise you will never be able to leave the bed ever again

Akaza

Lol he looks like he’s proposing

If you’re a girl, prepare for his protectiveness to go from zero to a million

If you’re a guy, prepare for a nice but aggressive guy

Imma go with the female half first because I’m a girl

So basically he will give you literally everything you want without spoiling you one bit

Bento? Ya got bento

Rice balls? You don’t need to ask twice

He is probably the safest boyfriend for girls because you’ll never have to fear him

For guys? Not so safe anymore are we

All I have to say to the male Akaza lovers is that you have to be strong

Cause otherwise you’re gonna get hacked to bits

Hantengu

This guy, your boyfriend?

I honestly do not see this as okay, since he’ll be scared even if you’re within two meters from him

But I guess he can use some love…

Weak spots for you? Everything

I seriously don’t have much to say to this…

Sekido

Possessive man

He’s very hot though

He’ll calm down if you behave and do as he says

Don’t be an idiot unless you wanna get zapped

He has a chill side, don’t worry

As long as you’re alone, he’ll be nice

Just make sure the others aren’t going to barge in on one of your kissing sessions, it really pisses him off

Karaku

He is pleasure itself

He doesn’t have weak points to you cause… you know

Maybe he’ll be chill and less cheery with you sometimes

I do not think that he has weak points

I mean, do we need him to have some? I don’t think so…

Urogi

Literally same as Karaku

Doesn’t need weak points to be better

He already heaven

Just watch out for his claws

Aizetsu

Cute boy will be happy with you

His weak points? You

His soft spot? You

His body pillow? You

He is the babysitter supreme

If you want him to stay good though, you gotta reassure him that you’ll always love him

Because like Kokushibo he is insecure

So be nice, Kay?

Zohakuten

My fav clone!!

As we all know, he is possessive and aggressive like he always was

Dirty mouth

But with you? Perhaps a bit softer

He will stroke your hair with you straddled in his lap

His look would soften if you look at him with your cute, curious eyes

Smile at him, he’ll feel less hatred

If someone interrupts you, they dead by next morning

Overall he’s gonna take care of you slightly roughly, but he’s nice

Gyokko

I don’t like him

Narcissist

So I’m gonna leave him

Gyutaro

He would be much softer with you than with anyone else in this wretched world

Except for Daki

His weak spot? Your kindness

You’re so sweet and kind to him every time you smile at him his brain just goes *malfunction*

If you sing “Scars to Your Beautiful” to him he will cry

Happily, of course

He loves you and will always hold on to you no matter what

You are his ray of sunshine, no way he’s letting you go

Will turn you into a demon because he wants you by his side forever

You’re not seeing any other man

Ever again

Daki

Just No

Like HAIL NAH

In short, her weak spots count: zero

Kaigaku

I think he will sing that song Bowser sang

He is sweet

Yes he is do not reject

So y’all know how he’s an asshole to literally everyone? He won’t be to you

He likes going to peach trees with you and just sitting there and eating peaches is very precious to him

Likes it when you sing

Will not let you out of his sight

He is possessive because he is an asshole

But the good way

Get him some peaches and he’ll be happy

You can mess with him all you want, the most he’s gonna do is fuck you nicely

Hehe

I fell off the topic so bad I now hate myself…

I hope y’all enjoyed it!!

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kreamcakez · 6 months

Text

Roleplay- Denki Kaminari

(Kinktober day 22)

Smut

HCs

CW: Aged up kami, Talks of the kinks Kami has. And my horny ass thoughts, not proof read.

AN: I'd like to say Kami is a man of culture and a very respectful simp for you🫶🏽! But please enjoy and don't be mean with your thoughts because theses are only my thoughts.

★MDNI★

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

★ Let's be honest, Denki Kaminari is a complete fan for roleplay. Like there's things he won't role play as but here is one thing he would probably roleplay as→↓

★Doctor and Nurse★

★He's probably a big fan of this one. And don't get me wrong it's not the idea of power dynamics, no it's the idea of you in a sexy nurse outfit for him. Honestly he couldn't care less you he's on to or bottom but he would personally prefer if you took top on this one. For him the thought of you in a out fit like that, calling him "Doctor" or anything that gives him authority in the slightest, only makes him more in love with you. He likes to sometimes switch the roles, so when he's the Nurse all hell breaks loses like think about (aged up) Kaminari in a sexy nurse uniform? It sends me!!! 😩 so in moments when he's the nurse he trys to make it his mission to tease you and make you wanna top him. But then when you do he pulls a power bottom card.

★When you both get the roles and outfits into play, that's when he can't begin to think his mind goes numb. And the only thing that comes to mind is "So beautiful and sexy..." The way he lets his hand s roam and wander. The way he can't even put into words, the way he's so smitten by you. It's crazy. The way your hands touch his thighs. Hell possibly be fucking into you hard and fast, or soft and slow. (Whatever you want babes) then he'll just be whimpering your name, dare I say whining it? He's head over heels and to see you like that, only makes him want you to top him. So when ya' finally do top him he's a mess. He wanted this more than the world, soooooooo. Long story short when y'all's are in nurse and doctor roles he starts out on top but always ends on bottom.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

AN: omg I swear I have way more for him but idk if my hands and brain can write out that much... But hopefully you enjoyed!!

(Ps after kinktober I'll due different parts to this so November 1st, you'll get more to this!)

#kinktober 2023 #bnha smut #denki kaminari #denki x reader #denki smut

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oddballwriter · 1 year

Note

For the spicy requests: perhaps a lil possessiveness from the emh guys? Do what you want w this lol

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

🔞NO PEOPLE BELOW 18+ OR AGELESS BEYOND CUT OFF🔞 VIOLATORS WILL BE BLOCKED

Warnings: HABIT is here, mentions of sex, hickeys, bite marks, possessive sex, and making out. This is smutty. I basically wrote smut

Author’s Snip: Honestly I was just ripping off the bandaid with this

Notes: You can tell that I simp for Evan and HABIT the most lol

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Evan

So I mentioned before that Evan gets real possessive over you

Not in the "he won't let you do anything kind of way", more in the "he wants people to know your with him and shouldn't bother trying to flirt with you kind of way"

So if you two go out somewhere and someone starts trying to chat you up in a way that clearly indicates that their flirting with you

Evan just joins in a bit but he's making sure he knows that they don't have a chance since your already taken

"Yeah, my partner is really hot, huh?" "They are really funny. I'm so happy to be in a relationship with them."

He's just passively beating the fact that you're his into their head so that they'll fuck off

Okay now to actually get spicy

I feel like the possessive feeling doesn't go away easily so that might lead to him grabbing some of your handles and maybe not really keeping his hands to himself

And once you get home, y'all might end up having some possessive sex

But only if you want though, consent is very important to Evan. He wouldn't do anything until you tell him or he knows that you want it to happen

However, if you're down then don't be surprised when he starts saying shit like "You like it when I fuck you like this" and making you say his name

This sort of lets the possessive-ness melt off of him so that it doesn't cause anything like a fight the next time someone tries to hit on you

But by the end of it it's all good and he's back to being his usual self

100% the morning after he's letting you wear his shirt or something

Vinny

I feel like Vinny always wants attention

So if he gets possessive, he tries to get you to pay attention to him

He does get a bit whiny about if you're not

But in all honestly, the possessive-ness goes way if you kiss and make out with him a bit

Idk why but I feel like that will mostly just make it go away since in making out with him, you're paying attention to him and only him

The possessive-ness rarely ends up in sex but if it does it's honestly just regular plain sex

Maybe give you a little hickey for a small bit of good measure and then all is good

Jeff

There's always a hickey on you

Jeff doesn't get possessive or jealous at all as far as he knows

He's a very chill kind of guy

But there's always a hickey on you, and that's honestly just because he's affectionate like that

He'll just mindlessly give you one

That might be why Jeff never gets possessive, because he's already done something that implies that you're with someone like your hickeys

Or when you go around wearing a shirt or something of his that you probably accidentally took when you were throwing on something to wear after having fucked the other night

So he kind of doesn't need to have that stuff go off in him

You kind of already have things set

HABIT

We know damn well that HABIT is possessive as fuck and that he holds no mercy

Okay I'm gonna level with y'all here. As a HABIT simp in appreciate the whole idea of you and HABIT constantly be fucking, I really do

But I feel like HABIT only really fucks when he knows that you're horny

But judging by how horny y'all are for this bitch half the time, it's still gonna be constant

I won't go into detail but when you two fuck it's like... a lot

The fact that you're alive and or didn't need to go to the ER is a miracle

The possessive-ness is always there with him

You are HIS

So he makes sure whenever you go somewhere, even if no one knows who he is, he makes sure people always can see that you belong to someone

Bestie...

There's literally bite marks on you along with some deep looking hickies

You look like a chew toy /j

#cw smut #everymanhybrid #slenderverse #emh evan #emh vinny #emh jeff #emh habit #everymanhybrid x reader #slenderverse x reader #emh vinny x reader #emh habit x reader #emh evan x reader #emh jeff x reader

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emlovesstates · 4 months

Text

I found something

This is from last year's playoff season now last year I couldn't find this I have now I'm gonna react to

I don't know what to say

Obviously, the North east makes sense

He he he Georgia rooted for the bills he he he he he he he he he he he he he he

Also, the Giants were in the playoff last year. I don't remember this no wonder only one state was ruining for them not even the city was rooting for them. Wow.

Help the south part of the East Coast makes sense

But why, Louisiana

I understand Nevada OK we've been through this. We also agree that he's a Simp. There is just some other questionable things on here that I need to address.

One Michigan honestly makes sense last season before the 2023, 2024 season started in the 2022, 2023 season in November the bill stadium and the stadium. One of the Ohio football stadiums was fully under snow. They couldn't play Detroit let the bills and whatever I don't remember what team they were playing. I assume it was the bangles

Play in that stadium

Explain to me

Please tell me tell me what you guys think is going to re-blog this and tell me what y'all think is happening

I can understand Colorado

But is this because of that one time New York and Colorado dragged in New Mexico to a bills game

I will always love looking at these maps

Just to be clear, I was looking for the 2024 map

----

OK here are my final final thoughts one of these days one of these years I mean this could be the year that the bills take over the country that's all I'm gonna say

#ben brainard #welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #wttsh #wttt

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thecoffeelorian · 4 months

Text

Ok, y'all...the fact that there are actually Dictator!Simps fawning around in my anti-President Snow memes has lead me to this, so...let's put it to a vote, shall we?

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wannab-urs · 9 months

Text

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 12

Hi friends!!

I read a certain dark romance book this week and then also spent some time trying to catch up on all my lovely mutuals' fics (and there were many), so the rec list is only like 9 fics this week. I guess that's still a lot? It's no 27 fics though.

If you tagged me in a fic this week, I'm planning to get to those soon I promise. The actual spreadsheet with all my recs can be found here and the masterlist for my fic recs can be found here.

Anyway recs below the Pedge

Adversity a Frankie/Ezra series by @the-ginger-hedge-witch

This combo... okay I'll just start with how unreasonably HOT this is. Like you got Ezra: protective, talkative, wild, a little feral, definitely likes to use his mouth, lean and impeccably dressed with that dumb little blond patch. Then you have Frankie: Established Canon Pussy Eating King, def talks you through it, broad shoulders and a cute belly, patchy beard you'd just die to have between your legs, broody boy. So obviously, I'm already about to pass out. And then!! Their relationship with each other makes me feel so many things. The way Ez pulls Frankie out of his fucked up head and the way Frankie settles Ezra UGH. And then!!! and then!!!!!!! The way they take care of reader and the way they all love each other and balance each other out!! The hints of the other TF boys in there is v fun also. I know this series is old, but I am dying for it to be added to. Every glimpse into this wonderful lil throuple was wonderful. <3333

i've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you - a Joel one shot by @tremendum

Brat tamer!Joel is sooooo fucking hot. This is filthy and I love it!

warmth - a Joel one shot by @grippingbeskar

ooooh i love how at first this is just a sweet lil fluffy thing and then you put *you can stop reading here if you aren't a whore. however, i am, so i will continue* LMAO. I'm obviously a whore so I obviously kept reading. This one is for my thigh riding girlies <333

the worthwhile fight - a Marcus P one shot by @swiftispunk

So glad you decided to write some sweet angel baby Marcus P!! And I love the lil twist with reader being the protective one, because.... I actually cannot see Marcus punching anyone. Like I'm sure he would if he had to, but in my head he's such a soft boy I can't. The smut, as usual, was just absolutely immaculate. Looking forward to more marcus from you maybe...???? (please)

Sparks fly - a Joel one shot by @ezrasbirdie

Ok listen... This is the second anal fic I've read in as many weeks that made me have emotions other than filth... How do y'all keep doing this to me. The story is adorable, I love it!! And then they eat each other's asses and it's hot and it's a good time. Honestly I'd still give this a shot if you're not into the idea of eating Joel Miller's ass bc there's a bunch of super cute interactions and some smut before that happens... If you're a freak tho... this is the one

Just a little taste - a Din one shot by @jksprincess10

I fucking love inexperienced!Din and I love when he tastes pussy for the first time and just goes absolutely nuts. This was so hot ugh.

Fire a Din one shot by @jksprincess10

Din Djarin Fluff Supremacy

Hungry Hearts - a Joel series by @atinylittlepain

Young Joel... in booty shorts... playing baseball??? Being a gratuitous flirt and a total asshole in the most frustratingly charming of ways?? Ok and then... he's also a MECHANIC... Slutty Joel is everything. Oh but let's not stop there! We also get girl dad Joel being the most stereotypical softball parent ever. Sarah and Ellie being so very Sarah and Ellie about the whole thing. Also like if you needed more incentive for some reason Joel gets hit in the balls while being a douchebag. I feel like I'm not selling this as well as I should be, but I don't want to give too much away. It's delightful. Read it!!

Peace - a Joel one shot by @swiftispunk

As a former John Green novel SIMP, I love the living eulogy thing. It has a special place in my heart and I refuse to apologize for that. This fic had me tearing up bc like... Joel Miller deserves to hear how good he is and how much he means to people and he doesn't really ever get that in canon. Not really. I am going to have a literal breakdown bye

----------------oldies but goodies----------------

The Appreciation of Fine Liquor - an Ezra one shot by @write-and-buried

poor baby - a Joel series by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Just a little game - Javi P one shot @walkintotheriveranddisappear

quickie (boyfriend's dad!joel x reader) - a Joel one shot by @joelscruff

𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆, 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆, 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆, 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒚 - a Dieter one shot by @psychedelic-ink

warm up - a Dieter one shot by @ezrasbirdie

Dieter Bravo x Library AU - a Dieter one shot @fuckyeahdindjarin

Bouquet, Bloom, Blossom - a Dieter series by @mypoisonedvine

----------------------------------------------------

Happy Reading

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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written-in-knife · 2 years

Text

What their Devilgrams look like

Before and after you start dating (All brothers)

CW: None, but I do swear casually.

A/N: I wrote this in about an hour in a feverish panic. I don’t even know what inspired it, I just started writing and it happened. I think I may have been possessed. Enjoy lmao

Lucifer

12M followers

Before

There's nothing here but a couple months old pictures of rare bottles of Demonus.

If you go over into the tagged pictures, however, there are many pictures of him from Lord Diavolo's account.

They're all candid-- from parties and meetings and long nights in the office doing paperwork-- and he hates all of them but he can't get Diavolo to delete them.

Diavolo has at least an extra ten million followers that are only there for Lucifer's pictures.

After

Still pretty barren tbh

Occasionally he'll post a picture of TWO glasses of Demonus, your hand wrapped around one of them.

And every year on your birthday, he posts his favorite picture of you since your last birthday with a simple Happy Birthday message. It's very sweet, his fans go wild for it.

Mammon

411.3M followers

Before

He posts once a day at least.

Selfies at the casino, pictures of the piles of grimm he was counting, BTS photos from his modeling gigs, sneak previews of his next photoshoot release, goofy pictures of his brothers fucking around, upside down selfies from when he's hanging from the ceiling, ect.

He and Asmo do a lot of Devilgram shoots together when they aren't at each other's throats

After

He still posts the usual once per day. And then on top of that, he posts a new picture of you every day. Most of them are candid, some of them are posed while you wear his jacket or sit in his chair at a shoot, and the rest are selfies with him.

The captions are usually just a full paragraph of absolute simp behavior that get replaced five minutes later with some string of emojis or teasing you about your facial expression

But his fans definitely screenshot the original captions and they get circulated for weeks with everybody freaking out about how sweet it is.

Shit quickly becomes a meme. "If my mans doesn't talk about me like Mammon talks about MC, I don't want him."

Leviathan

203M followers

Before

He doesn't post every day, but he does post multiple times a week.

It's mostly sewing progress on his cosplays, screenshots of games he's gotten 100% of the achievements in with reviews as the caption, anime screencaps with reviews, pictures of manga pages with reviews, pictures of the line he's been waiting in for ten hours for merch followed by a picture of the merch and a review, girl group album art with reviews, and memes. Oh and Henry 2.0, of course. There's literally NEVER a picture of his face. If you're lucky, you'll see his fingers while he holds open the manga.

Another one that can only be seen in the tagged photos.

His fans don't really care that much tho? Honestly, most of his following there specifically because they trust his reviews.

After

Nothing changes for a long time. Seriously, y'all have to be dating for at LEAST eight months before he even mentions you on his Devilgram.

The first thing he posted was a picture of you in front of his fish tank wearing the Henry costume from the play Simeon put on with the caption "my Henry's." His fans lost their absolute MINDS.

He doesn't post pictures of you often because why should he share you with his followers? You're his, they don't need to see. But when he does, it's mostly in cosplays he's made or waiting in line with him for some release. It’s very cute.

Satan

139.8M followers

Before

Posts when he remembers to. Which isn't often. Multiple times a month, no more than twice a week.

A white woman's instagram

Seriously, it's a lot of pictures of cups of tea, and the cats in the garden, and piles of books. Everything is set up to be super aesthetically pleasing for the pictures. Occasionally he'll post a picture of Belphegor setting up a prank for Lucifer. Of course, it's not posted until after the prank happens, he can't risk Lucifer finding out early. The captions are all book quotes. Every time. Without fail. If he posts a picture of a book cover, he may also add a review of the book. The only time you see his face is if it's a selfie of him sipping tea or a cat is standing on his shoulders.

After

He definitely posts at least twice a week now.

The content doesn’t change much, but now you're there too! Petting cats or pouring tea or curled up in a chair reading a book he recommended. He'll also post pictures from date nights, selfies you took of the two of you on his phone. All still very aesthetically pleasing. He'll also post videos of you helping set up pranks, him narrating what's being set up and what's supposed to happen when it goes off with you and Belphie snickering quietly and shushing each other.

It's all very wholesome actually. 10/10

Asmodeus

450M followers

Before

Posts twice a day, every day. It's Asmo, what did you expect?

Thirst trap central! It's not every post, but shit is it almost! Risque photos in lingerie and tiny outfits, but also super glamorous pictures in frighteningly intricate dresses and suits. It's a lot of selfies and at home photoshoots. He promotes his favorite skincare and makeup lines. He also does a lot of BTS for his modeling jobs, selfies with the crew at whatever shoot he's at or the staff at the massage place or the nail salon, and a surprising amount of selfies with his brothers. (the reason Levi and Lucifer have any pictures of themselves at all)

Every picture is absolutely perfect and he will retake them as many times as he needs to make sure they are. He has the most followers on Devilgram. Again, it's Asmo.

After

As soon as you start dating, Devilgram knows. Hell, his followers might've found out before Lucifer did.

You're in at least 75% of his pictures. If you don't want to be in the risque ones, that's totally alright, but if you do?? Holy shit does he love those pictures. And so do his followers! At first, you were always just right beside him in his pictures, just as done up and flawless as he always is. But after roughly a year, it starts slowly changing. Eventually, a lot of his photos focus more on you than him, more often than not they’re candids where you aren't done up. You're just wearing sweatpants and playing on your phone in the common room. Those are his favorite pictures. He thinks you're perfect all the time, and he loves sharing you with the world.

Another one to become a meme after a mirror selfie of the two of you where he's just staring directly at you instead of in the mirror. "IF MY MANS DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE ASMO LOOKS AT MC, I DO NOT WANT HIM."

Beelzebub

426.4M followers

Before

He has more followers than Mammon, and Mammon is furious about it. He only posts like once a week, if even.

You'd think he'd post pictures of food. You'd be wrong. If he did that, he'd be hungry every time he looked at his Devilgram, and he doesn't want that.

No, the reason he has so many followers is because he's the one posting all the candid shots of his brothers. Doesn't matter what they're doing, he's snapping a picture and posting it on Devilgram. He loves his brothers very much. He'll also just dump a bunch of pictures on there at once, it's never just one at a time, which is part of why he only posts once a week.

There's also some pictures he reposts from the RAD newspaper of Fangol matches, group pictures of his team, action shots of him. Those blow up real quick.

They also never have captions

After

Uh-oh, simp page! He very quickly becomes an MC simp page. He still takes candids of his brothers but for every one of them, there's two of you.

Across the table during a dinner date? Done. Getting ready to go watch one of his Fangol matches? Absolutely. Cutting Mammon down from the chandelier? He only posted that once and it got you in trouble, so he doesn't post those anymore :(

His favorites are pictures of you and Belphie napping in his bed.

They do have captions now! It’s a single heart emoji and people lose their minds about it.

Belphegor

22M followers

Before

He posts once a month, if that, and it's always incomprehensible.

It's usually something similar to that one canon selfie of him with bedhead, with some wild caption about a dream he had. Never makes any sense, but when has that ever stopped him? When it's not that, he's posting super high quality pictures of the stars with long explanations about the stories behind the constellations.

His tagged pictures are a lot of him sleeping in weird places, provided by Beel and Mammon. The one that got the most traction was when Mammon posted a video of opening up the cupboard under the sink in Asmo's bathroom to find Belphie curled up underneath. It was both adorable and hilarious.

After

Not much changes, actually.

He posted a picture of you dead asleep cuddling his cow pillow, which also had some incomprehensible dream recap, but that was about it.

What changed the most was his tagged pictures, which his fans go bonkers for. Now, not only it is him sleeping in weird places, you're also in those weird places! He's always got his arms locked around you so you don't fall off or try to leave while half asleep and not remembering where you are. Under the piano, on the kitchen counter, balanced on a branch of the tree in the yard, squished under one of the desks in the student council rooms. Mammon is getting a lot of content out of the two of you.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me hcs #knifes hcs #mine #gender neutral mc #gn!mc

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slothful-sleep · 1 year

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Obey Me Headcannons

What if you were the child of Hypnos?

(Demon Brothers Only, Part 1, Elder Three)

POV: You were always a unique... 'human' being born with wings ivory in color and a sleep schedule so horrid, your caretaker worried immensely because all you ever did was sleep. You were always tired and never had much motivation to do anything, the heavy wings didn't help. They worked as a blanket sometimes, so that helped. However, as of recently you had gotten dragged to the pits of the underworld, you had adjusted fairly well but you had kept the one part of you hidden. One even you did not know. Your wings and heritage. The demon brothers mistook you for a pure blooded human... How wrong they were. How do very wrong.

Rickety Bones (Lucifer)

Bro really thought you were a human at first

He usually beat your ass when you slept, talk about a skipper user 😒

I swear, you sleep more then Belphie.

He's also the one to find you in the most... Compromising positions in the most compromising places.

He once found you asleep on the chandelier in the main room.

It wasn't a chandelier with a bowl either, it was pointy. You went up there to hide from Mammon.

He still questions how you got up there to this day...

Until his ass saw your white wings in all their glory after you beat Belphie's ass by throwing him down the stairs after putting him to sleep.

Lucifer thought his ass was dreaming and ended up coming back drunk off his balls. He was Soo confused lmao

Eventually, with the help of some of his brothers he found out you were the kid of Hypnos. Really explained your sleep schedule.

I'm pretty sure when you wanted to escape punishment you just knocked his ass out with a sleep spell and skedaddled on your merry way.

Those of you who simp for him, you can get him to sleep by using the same technique. When chronic over worker needs sleep, you're his go to.

It's honestly scary to him so he watches you like a hawk

He fears what Satan and Belphie will do with you

Legit has Vietnam flashbacks when he sees your wings, so please... Don't show them around him

Mr Krabs(Mammon)

Wasn't he supposed to be protecting a human??

Hey! He didn't sign up to take care of some Belphie reject!

He had no choice

Usually carries you everywhere, acts like he hates it.

Likes it

Probably tried to make a credit card under your name while

You are easily exhausted by his out going nature and get fed up with him trying to wake you up all the damn time. Let me sleep dammit!

The most likely to find you in a compromising position in a peculiar area.

He once found in a cupboard wrapped up in a tiny ball snoring away.

He just quietly closed the cabinet door

You two hang up on the ceiling alot

Y'all buddies there lmao

Was bat shit scared of you to find out you can just put people to sleep

You probably do it when you wanna get away from him

Legit offended when he wasn't the first to find out you were a demigod even when you didn't know Jack shit either

Also bat shit scared of you when you threw Belphie down the stairs

Laughed it off later

Overall, y'all two just chill

Probably tried to sell your feathers though, so just be weary of that

Vietnam flashbacks pt 2, please put away your wings. Bro can't take it

Discord Mod(Leviathan)

Oh! This reminds me of this one anime where-

Blahhh blah, we get it Levi.

Bro makes hella anime references

Ur still a normie tho, bitch

He gets annoyed you sleep so much. You're gonna miss the best part of the anime! Hey! Wake up, you're gonna miss an important raid!! 01000010 01101001 01110100 01100011 01101000!!!

Least likely to find you doing random shit because his ass is a shut in, but he did find you asleep on his TV once. He streamed it

It went viral

He recorded you beating Belphie's ass, he thought it was funny lmfao!

He did get trauma from your wings though and hid in his room until you stopped having then out

He does stare longingly at them sometimes, wondering what could have been and metaphorical shit like that

You also put his pathetic ass to sleep when he stays up to long. He could just be in the middle of a game, then night night!

Out like a damn light

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edgyandoverzealous · 2 years

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Bacause Cringe culture is dead and I am back in my FNAF SB phase. Explaining your Kins as the therapist friend but I'm feeling salty so it's all just calling you out. Except I felt bad after a little bit so they each have a funny/lighthearted one calling me out.

Glamrock Freddy

How's those daddy issues doing?

Was he emotionally absent, physically absent, or was he just distant and unaffectionate?

I'm willing to bet he called you superstar once and you immediately started kinning.

Additionally how're those abandonment issues treating ya?

On a scale from 1/10 how displeased were you when Freddy got dragged away by moon 'cause he powered down before he got to the charging station?

You know he originally was gonna turn on you right? That would worsen your abandonment issues, you should thank Scott for that one.

You are the parent friend btw, Ily please bring bandaids and painkillers I'm accident prone and ignore pain until it's unbearable. We may be going to the ER</3

Glamrock Chica

Are you a Lesbian? Or are you the oldest child who uses gentle techniques of sibling-parenting?

How do you feel knowing you probably aren't listened to?

How's your mommy issues doing?

Do you mayhaps think that people won't want you unless you give them something?

Do you feel like no one takes care of you but you always have to take care of everyone else?

How's your relationship with food going? Yeah, me too. Note that chica physically can't eat by the end as well.

Do you even speak/Do you ever shut up?

Scared of overcoddling but also terrified of taking a step back and away because you feel like if you stop they'll all leave you much?

Choir/Band/Theatre kid or grandparent friend with hard candies in their purse that I would eat wrapper and all because intrusive thought said to and shiny.

Roxxane Wolf

So are you a Lesbian, furry, or e-girl simp? Or are you the oldest child who uses more forceful/low-key mean techniques of sibling-parenting?

How's the crippling self doubt and God complex treating you?

How's crying in your room because you yelled at them and said something mean but don't know how to say sorry going?

What about that inferiority complex?

Pushing everyone away because they'll only leave you? Ding ding ding we have a winner.

Burnt out perfectionist?

You're the type of friend whose love language is bullying and play fighting. Be careful you don't make your friend cry, I am the friend that'd cry.

Monty Gator

Self-destructive behavior, pent up aggression and always looking for a reason to fight?

Anger issues much? Or do you just simp for Bonnie's replacement because you saw one too many human Monty edits?

You're probably short too, huh? Just like the fuse you have when given a chance. Or your big and burly which also is terrifying.

How's your constant existential crisis going?

Do you feel like there's a looming expectation that's too big for you to fill over your head?

Do you feel like you're never first choice?

That you're simply a replacement for everyone else?

How about respect? Do you ever give or receive it? No?

Are you always restless? Yeah? Thought so.

You're the protective friend who is willing to throw hands with anyone who disturbs their friends. Me too honestly, I've been held back on multiple occasions because I'm a short queer man and it's in my veins.

Glamrock Bonnie

So are you still sobbing over that one line, you know the one, or are you living on fan theories? Like how are you still kicking?

How's your mental health? Bad? Yeah I thought so.

Anxiety and depression kin you honey? <3

Disasciotiating royalty, you.

You long for something in your past that cannot be changed.

You fall for what you know you can't have and never will be obtained, don't you?

You felt robbed by the game and that's okay. I miss him too.

Sun/Moon

You scare me, legitimately you scare me. Y'alls fandom is legitimately impressive especially for insert types. You have one of every flavor and are insanely good at drawing the skrunglies less skrungly. Good for you.

Additionally how's healing your inner child going?

And those mommy and daddy issues?

I'm sorry you weren't held as a child?

Too busy parenting everyone else to have been cared for the same?

Forced to grow up too fast?

You were definitely a traumatized child. Adults let you down and now you seek comfort in a robot of two extremes as unstable as your adolescence.

You're the "childish" friend. Silly, sweet, and full of fun but you are by no means innocent. That was stolen from you a long time ago.

Also you either can't sleep or you oversleep or both.

Mapbot

You scare me, legitimately you scare me. The scariest bots in the game??? Really??? Those buddies??? Okay???? Honestly the healthiest option tbh.

You are either a troll or a disaster bisexual or an enby.

You cling to people because you don't want them to leave you, but that pushes them away more often than not.

How does it feel to be so underated and the "side character" in your own life?

You blend in wherever you go even when you want to be seen or when you want someone to help you.

By the way how's the constant desperation going? Aren't you tired of being sane? Don't you want to go absolutely feral?

#fnaf sb #glamrock freddy #glamrock bonnie #glamrock chica #montgomery gator #roxxane wolf #kin assigning #mapbot #sundrop #moondrop #this is meant to be lighthearted #im sorry in advance #my entire blog is going to be things like this and im sorry if it's inaccurate #im sorry that Bonnie's is short but the man literally died before game #like what was i supposed to do make them more sad???#don't hurt me im on your side and in the fandom #sorry if this is incomprehensible #im exhausted

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