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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

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Netflix wants to chop down your family tree

Netflix has unveiled the details of its new anti-password-sharing policy, detailing a suite of complex gymnastics that customers will be expected to undergo if their living arrangements trigger Netflix’s automated enforcement mechanisms:

https://thestreamable.com/news/confirmed-netflix-unveils-first-details-of-new-anti-password-sharing-measures

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/02/nonbinary-families/#red-envelopes

Netflix says that its new policy allows members of the same “household” to share an account. This policy comes with an assumption: that there is a commonly understood, universal meaning of “household,” and that software can determine who is and is not a member of your household.

This is a very old corporate delusion in the world of technology. In the early 2000s, I spent years trying to bring some balance to an effort at DVB, whose digital television standards are used in most of the world (but not the USA) when they rolled out CPCM, a DRM system that was supposed to limit video-sharing to a single household.

Their term of art for this was the “authorized domain”: a software-defined family unit whose borders were privately negotiated by corporate executives from media companies, broadcasters, tech and consumer electronics companies in closed-door sessions all around the world, with no public minutes or proceedings.

https://onezero.medium.com/the-internet-heist-part-iii-8561f6d5a4dc

These guys (they were nearly all guys) were proud of how much “flexibility” they’d built into their definition of “household.” For example, if you owned a houseboat, or a luxury car with seatback displays, or a summer villa in another country, the Authorized Domain would be able to figure out how to get the video onto all those screens.

But what about other kinds of families? I suggested that one of our test cases should be a family based in Manila: where the dad travels to remote provinces to do agricultural labor; the daughter is a nanny in California; and the son is doing construction work in the UAE. This suggestion was roundly rejected as an “edge case.”

Of course, this isn’t an edge case. There are orders of magnitude more people whose family looks like this than there are people whose family owns a villa in another country. Owning a houseboat or a luxury car makes you an outlier. Having an itinerant agricultural breadwinner in your family does not.

But everyone who is in the room when a cartel draws up a standard definition of what constitutes a household is almost certainly drawn from a pool that is more likely to have a summer villa than a child doing domestic work or construction labor half a world away. These weirdos, so dissimilar from the global majority, get to define the boxes that computers will shove the rest of the world into. If your family doesn’t look like their family, that’s tough: “Computer says no.”

One day at a CPCM meeting, we got to talking about the problem of “content laundering” and how the way to prevent it would be to put limits on how often someone could leave a household and join another one. No one, they argued, would ever have to change households every week.

I put my hand up and said, “What about a child whose divorced parents share custody of her? She’s absolutely going to change households every week.” They thought about it for a moment, then the rep from a giant IT company that had recently been convicted of criminal antitrust violations said, “Oh, we can solve that: we’ll give her a toll-free number to call when she gets locked out of her account.”

That was the solution they went with. If you are a child coping with the dissolution of your parents’ marriage, you will have the obligation to call up a media company every month — or more often — and explain that Mummy and Daddy don’t love each other any more, but can I please have my TV back?

I never forgot that day. I even wrote a science fiction story about it called (what else?) “Authorized Domain”:

https://craphound.com/news/2011/10/31/authorised-domain/

I think everyone understood that this was an absurd “solution,” but they had already decided that they were going to complete the seemingly straightforward business of defining a category like “household” using software, and once that train left the station, nothing was going to stop it.

This is a recurring form of techno-hubris: the idea that baseline concepts like “family” have crisp definitions and that any exceptions are outliers that would never swallow the rule. It’s such a common misstep that there’s a whole enre* called “Falsehoods Programmers Believe About ______”:

https://github.com/kdeldycke/awesome-falsehood

In that list: names, time, currency, birthdays, timezones, email addresses, national borders, nations, biometrics, gender, language, alphabets, phone numbers, addresses, systems of measurement, and, of course, families. These categories are touchstones in our everyday life, and we think we know what they mean — but then we try to define them, and the list of exceptions spirals out into a hairy, fractal infinity.

Historically, these fuzzy categorical edges didn’t matter so much, because they were usually interpreted by humans using common sense. My grandfather was born “Avrom Doctorovitch” (or at least, that’s one way to transliterate his name, which was spelled in a different alphabet, but which was also transliterating his first name from yet another alphabet). When he came to Canada as a refugee, his surname was anglicized to “Doctorow.” Other cousins are “Doctorov,” “Doctoroff,” and “Doktorovitch.”

Naturally, his first name could have been “Abraham” or “Abe,” but his first employer (a fellow Eastern European emigre) decided that was too ethnic and in sincere effort to help him fit in, he called my grandfather “Bill.” When my grandfather attained citizenship, his papers read “Abraham William Doctorow.” He went by “Abe,” “Billy,” “Bill,” “William,” “Abraham” and “Avrom.”

Practically, it didn’t matter that variations on all of these appeared on various forms of ID, contracts, and paperwork. His reparations check from the German government had a different variation from the name on the papers he used to open his bank account, but the bank still let him deposit it.

All of my relatives from his generation have more than one name. Another grandfather of mine was born “Aleksander,” and called “Sasha” by friends, but had his name changed to “Seymour” when he got to Canada. His ID was also a mismatched grab-bag of variations on that theme.

None of this mattered to him, either. Airlines would sell him tickets and border guards would stamp his passport and rental agencies would let him drive away in cars despite the minor variations on all his ID.

But after 9/11, all that changed, for everyone who had blithely trundled along with semi-matching names across their official papers and database entries. Suddenly, it was “computer says no” everywhere you turned, unless everything matched perfectly. There was a global rush for legal name-changes after 9/11 — not because people changed their names, but because people needed to perform the bureaucratic ritual necessary to have the name they’d used all along be recognized in these new, brittle, ambiguity-incinerating machines.

For important categories, ambiguity is a feature, not a bug. The fact that you can write anything on an envelope (including a direction to deliver the letter to the granny flat over the garage, not the front door) means that we don’t have to define “address” — we can leave it usefully hairy around the edges.

Once the database schema is formalized, then “address” gets defined too — the number of lines it can have, the number of characters each line can have, the kinds of characters and even words (woe betide anyone who lives in Scunthorpe).

If you have a “real” address, a “real” name, a “real” date of birth, all of this might seem distant to you. These “edge” cases — seasonal agricultural workers, refugees with randomly assigned “English” names — are very far from your experience.

That’s true — for now (but not forever). The “Shitty Technology Adoption Curve” describes the process by which abusive technologies work their way up the privilege gradient. Every bad technological idea is first rolled out on poor people, refugees, prisoners, kids, mental patients and other people who can’t push back.

Their bodies are used to sand the rough edges and sharp corners off the technology, to normalize it so that it can climb up through the social ranks, imposed on people with more and more power and influence. 20 years ago, if you ate your dinner under an always-on #CCTV, it was because you were in a supermax prison. Today, it’s because you bought a premium home surveillance system from Google, Amazon or Apple.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/29/impunity-corrodes/#arise-ye-prisoners

The Netflix anti-sharing tools are designed for rich people. If you travel for business and stay in the kind of hotel where the TV has its own Netflix client that you can plug your username and password into, Netflix will give you a seven-day temporary code to use.

But for the most hardcore road-warriors, Netflix has thin gruel. Unless you connect to your home wifi network every 31 days and stream a show, Netflix will lock out your devices. Once blocked, you have to “contact Netflix” (laughs in Big Tech customer service).

Why is Netflix putting the screws to its customers? It’s part of the enshittification cycle, where platform companies first allocate surpluses to their customers, luring them in and using them as bait for business customers. Once they turn up, the companies reallocate surpluses to businesses, lavishing them with low commissions and lots of revenue opportunities. And once they’re locked in, the company starts to claw back the surpluses for itself.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

Remember when Netflix was in the business of mailing red envelopes full of DVDs around the country? That was allocating surpluses to users. The movie companies hated this, viewed it as theft — a proposition that was at least as valid as Netflix’s complaints about password sharing, but every pirate wants to be an admiral, and when Netflix did it to the studios, that was “progress,” but when you do it to Netflix, that’s theft.

Then, once Netflix had users locked in and migrated to the web (and later, apps), it shifted surpluses to studios, paying fat licensing fees to stream their movies and connect them to a huge audience.

Finally, once the studios were locked in, Netflix started to harvest the surplus for its shareholders: raising prices, lowering streaming rates, knocking off other studios’ best performing shows with in-house clones, etc. Users’ surpluses are also on the menu: the password “sharing” that let you define a household according to your family’s own idiosyncratic contours is unilaterally abolished in a quest to punish feckless Gen Z kids for buying avocado toast instead of their own Netflix subscriptions.

Netflix was able to ignore the studios’ outraged howls when it built a business by nonconsenually distributing their products in red envelopes. But now that Netflix has come for your family, don’t even think about giving Netfix some of what it gave to the MPAA.

As a technical matter, it’s not really that hard to modify Netflix’s app so that every stream you pull seems to come from your house, no matter where you are. But doing so would require reverse-engineering Netflix’s app, and that would violate Section 1201 of the DMCA, the CFAA, and eleventy-seven other horrible laws. Netflix’s lawyers would nuke you until the rubble bounced.

When Netflix was getting started, it could freely interoperate with the DVDs that the studios had put on the market. It could repurpose those DVDs in ways that the studios strenuously objected to. In other words, Netfix used adversarial interoperability (AKA Competitive Compatibility or ComCom) to launch its business:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

Today, Netflix is on the vanguard of the war to abolish adversarial interop. They helped lead the charge to pervert W3C web-standards, creating a DRM video standard called EME that made it a crime to build a full-featured browser without getting permission from media companies and restricting its functionality to their specifications:

https://blog.samuelmaddock.com/posts/the-end-of-indie-web-browsers/

When they used adversarial interoperability to build a multi-billion-dollar global company using the movie studios’ products in ways the studios hated, that was progress. When you define “family” in ways that makes Netflix less money, that’s felony contempt of business model.

[Image ID: A Victorian family tree template populated by tintypes of old-timey people. In the foreground stands a menacing, chainsaw-wielding figure, his face obscured by a hoodie. The blade of the chainsaw is poised to chop down the family tree. A Netflix 'N' logo has been superimposed over the man's face.]

#pluralistic #enshittification #shitty technology adoption curve #cpcm #interoperabiltiy #comcom #adversarial interoperability #interop #netflix #family #ambiguity #digitizatio #nym wars #authorized domain #dvb #dvds #password sharing

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my1oves · 2 months

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hopefullyy this isnt against the guidelines?? but could i request hcs for laios's party (or just laios and chilchuck??) with an artist s/o ? maybe a painter or sketch artist :)

paint me a picture

꒰ includes ꒱ ⸻ (dungeon meshi) laios touden, senshi, chilchuck tims, marcille donato.

꒰ warnings ꒱ ⸻ gn! reader, fluff, includes both painting & sketching

꒰ blossom's note꒱ ⸻ thank you for the request! as an artist myself this was fun to write! i hope you enjoy!

laios touden

prepare, no matter what medium of art you use, he'll ask for you to create the monsters that he's made up in his mind.

there will be tears once you're done, he's in awe- it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen... now on to the next one!

is your number one fan, for real, and thinks that maybe he should make a book on monsters with all his knowledge and have you illustrate it- if your up for it?

if you sketch

gets flustered if you want to draw him, but will stay as still as he can so you sketch him.

chilchuck will laugh and point out how red his cheeks are, but laios remains strong.

laios definitely wants to see the finished product! he's all shy because you drew him so handsome (bc he is~)

will try to draw you next, and it's actually not that bad- the proportions are a bit wonky and that's definitely not how many fingers should be on a hand but he tried his best and that's what counts

he may also make you a monstersona to go with his own.

if you ever draw any of the food that senshi ends up making laios will 100% want to keep it! he'll page it into his monster eating guide.

overall he just thinks you're super impressive, and loves when you show off any drawings to him- you'll always be met with high praise!

if you paint

painting isn't the most accessible when traversing in the dungeon, so it's safe to assume you don't often go into the dungeons (especially if you're a full time painter!)

if that's the case, then laios will bring back objects he's found from the dungeon (cool things like monster bones or monster scales, stuff like that) to give you inspiration to paint!

might also bring back wild plants for you to crush up and use as paints- who knows, maybe the colors will be extra vibrant or have a shimmer that you need!

likes to watch you closely when you paint, he's staring at you so intensely you might have to usher him out of the room.

if you have a mini portable paint set that you can bring into the dungeon then laios is more than happy for you to accompany him- and this will give him something to do (watch you) when they make camp!

senshi

whether you paint or sketch or both, senshi is in awe of your skill- and he'll gladly let you know that it's impressive!

if you sketch

senshi can sketch a little, but might get a little shy when showing it too you. you're very talented, and he would consider himself just okay.

if you give him any tips or pointers then he'll listen intently, and follow what you've said. it helps him a great deal, and he thanks ye kindly.

you want to draw him? he's got no complaints, he may ever strike a pose if he's not cooking. just don't take too long, he's not sure how long he can hold the pose!

will ask if he can see some of your sketches, and will flip through your sketchbook (with permission). if you've drawn the food he's made, he'll get a little proud. he's happy you liked his food so much that you drew it!

if you paint

he'll try his best to learn how to make paint for you with the materials he's collected in the dungeon. need a yellow? he's got the perfect flower. need a gloss? slime will do nicely. need a teal? some tentacles are hung to dry and then crushed into a paint.

admires your work, will be curious and might ask if you could teach him how to paint too.

definitely won't be able to hold a pose for a painting, so he'll instead lay/sit down and let you do your thing.

if you get messy while painting, he'll make sure you wash your hands before you help with making dinner! proper hygiene when cooking is important!

will show off your paintings to the orcs. perhaps that want a painting or two?

chilchuck tims

it's impressive, but he thinks he could definitely figure it out himself. the kind of person to say, "I could do that." but then fails terribly.

will admit its harder than it looks after that, albeit a bit begrudgingly.

but after learning how hard it is, he has a newfound (secret) admiration for your hardwork and skill!

if you sketch

if he sees your sketchbook lying there and you're asleep or went to get some water well... his curiosity has him opening the book and ohohoho- what's this? you've done quick sketches of him before have you? definitely teasing and messing with you when you come back.

will ask if you want to draw him, then pulls a 'draw-me-like-one-of-your-french-girls' type pose. feel free to throw your sketchbook at him.

will try to think of money schemes with your talents (if you're not already getting paid)- do you know how many people would pay for this skill of yours?

if you decline his sketchy offer, he'll back off, but he really does think you'd be able to make a lot of money. he subtly trying to compliment you.

if you paint

on the rare occasion he feels like doing something romantic or sweet, with the spoils from the dungeon, he'll buy you some new paints or a canvas or new paint brushes.

"it's no big deal," he says, but he's secretly blushing when you thank him and give him a little kiss on the cheek. well he is pretty amazing~

similarly to if you sketch, he thinks you could make a lot of money if you put your skills up for it. you could paint royal portraits! but if you don't want to, that's fine too!

laughs if you get paint on your face, however gets pissy if you get any on him. will try to get you back by painting a large stripe or two on you. this ends up with an all out paint war between you two- sadly the bastard is slippery and dodges so good.

marcille donato

you're an artist? that's simply amazing! marcille praises all that you do, and simply thinks you're the most talented person in the world.

will brag to others that she has the most talented s/o.

if you sketch

wants to see all your sketches! she really does find it very impressive. she knows it's not as easy as it seems, so she'll admire each page you flip to.

if she ever sees a sketch of her/you ever ask to sketch her, she'll become a blushing mess.

"me? are you sure?" she's so bashful all of a sudden, but don't worry, she'll agree! just wait a few, she wants to clean herself up so that she looks good! will pose but she's very stiff- it's best to sketch her when she's unaware.

if you try to teach her, she's a very quick learner! has the basics down pretty quickly!

if you paint

she has fun with paint if you try to teach her- it gets a little messy sometimes but she thinks it adds to the experience. always ends with her insisting on a nice warm bath though!

asks if you could paint a picture of the both of you together. she'd like to hang it up in her home, or if it's a small painting she might even carry it in her backpack.

buys you the most expensive paints, even if she doesn't really have the money for it. if she really can't afford it, she'll find out how to make paint and do that for you instead!

her favorite types of paintings are landscape/scenery paintings, so if you have any of those she's willing to pay you for them! her home is likely filled with a million of your paintings!

overall, she's your biggest supporter!!

꒰ ❀ ꒱ thank you for reading. have a wonderful day, darling!

#dungeon meshi x reader #dungeon meshi imagines #dungeon meshi headcanons #delicious in dungeon x reader #delicious in dungeon imagines #delicious in dungeon headcanons #laios x reader #chilchuck x reader #marcille x reader #senshi x reader

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kentosbabes · 1 year

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More bf-gojo? I loved the perfect combination of fluff and smut bits. ★

your wish is my command!!! hope you enjoy :33

Bf-Gojo who loves when you surprise him at work bringing him some lunch and just keeping him company till the end of his shift. Sometimes if you had baked batches of cupcakes or cookies you would bring all of them sharing them with people all around his building, Gojo just admires how kind and considerate you are as you offer your freshly baked goods to his employees. He would sometimes leave things at home and calling you acting all stressed just so you come and join him helping to relive his stresses in more ways then one.

Bf-Gojo who now joins you when you have an 'everything day'. He's sitting on the counter as you carefully paint on the face mask onto him, your brows furrowing with concentration. It gives him another excuse to stare and admire you for longer. He is also surprisingly good at painting your nails so you let him paint yours as you gossip to him about the drama in your office and friend group and as much as he hates to admit he gets so involved and even begins to share his own gossip.

Bf-Gojo who enjoys exploring the city with you going in and out of art galleries and museums. His hand in yours as you talk him through the art on the walls explaining in detail the backstory behind each one. If it was anyone else he would simply tune them out but with you he listens intently taking in every detail. He adores how smart you are and praising you the whole time your in the gallery. 'Your such a good girl you know that right' he would whisper in your ear the grip on your waist tightening ever so slightly as you exit the building.

Bf-Gojo who gets more cocky knowing your the most perfect girl and knowing your all his just boosts his ego so much. 'Oh your so smart, the way you talked about those paintings got me so riled up' he'd say kissing down your neck as you bounce up and down on his dick, 'Your so perfect and you all mine. isnt that right darling?'. only able to whimper in response Gojo smirks at your fucked out state. His hand grabbing onto yours and placing it on your lower stomach so you can both feel how deep he is inside of you.

Bf-Gojo who babies you when your sick. He's pulling out all of the stops running you hot baths, cooking you soup and watching shit tv with you never leaving your side until you feel better. Gojo defiantly calls Nanami for help asking him for the best remedies and how to get you feeling better asap.

Bf-Gojo who secretly loves when you praise him, even just when you say how proud you are of him once he's completed an important presentation or saying how good he is when he helps out with making dinner. Your words going straight down to his dick till he cant take it anymore and having his way with you. 'f-fuck toru your s-so so good to me' your praises only making him harder and he knows its going to be a longg night.

Bf-Gojo who does anything and everything to make sure your okay. Your heels are hurting to much? he will carry you home so you dont have to walk any further. Your having a hard day at work? he will be there picking you up and helping you unwind in a steamy shower.

Bf-Gojo who cant wait to meet your parents, although he's nervous he knows how much they mean to you so being able to meet them only furthers his desire to wife you up a soon as he can.

Bf-Gojo who teases you about the way you like your coffee, 'I love you but thats coffee not tea doll why you adding so much sugar and cream' he would say as he sits sipping his black coffee. He laughs at how defensive you get calling him the weird one as your cheeks begin to redden at his teasing.

Bf-Gojo who wants to just spend everyday with you cuddled into him as he draws patterns up and down your back, and when you get up to grab a drink your ass pocks out from underneath his top and he can just sit against the headboard hands behind his head admiring his perfect girl.

part 1 here

masterlist

#gojo satoru x reader #jjk gojo #gojo smut #gojo headcanons #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jjk smut #satoru jjk #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen smut #kentosbabes #satoru gojo #satoru x reader #jujustu kaisen smut

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verysium · 4 months

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how bllk boys would react when u draw them, could either be rlly good or rlly SHIT u choose idk (plz include barou and the itoshi bros) 😊😊😊 i love you and ur works, and the way u write the boys and ur content makes me laugh fr, one of my fave bllk authors mwjahaja 😓 have a great day, ily:3 and the icks post made me smile like all of ur posts do!

thank you so much anon ♡ this ask had me contemplating very seriously, so apologies if it's a bit late:

sae is definitely awestruck in some way, even if he doesn't immediately show it. i think i talked about this in a previous headcanon, but he has a deep-seated admiration for artists who can grasp abstract concepts because he himself cannot. he would be somewhat flattered if you drew him since he's never considered his own appearance to be particularly inspiring. would be appalled if you considered him your muse. like....why? to him, his looks aren't anything of importance (clearly he is blind.) would probably say your drawing was inaccurate but then hang it up by his nightstand so he can look at it every night before he goes to sleep. if you're a full-time artist, he probably keeps a little stash of your gifts in a small box beneath his bed. sometimes if he's having a bad day or he lost a game, he goes back and flips through them just to make himself feel better. secretly loves the way you draw his bangs and the little swoop you do in your signature.

kaiser corrects every single detail in your drawing. stands behind you and gives you little pointers here and there. he should have an 8-pack, not a 6-pack. his jawline isn't sharp enough in your initial sketch. poses shirtless in front of you so that way you can encapsulate the full extent of his sexiness. shows off your drawing to every living creature in existence. "isn't he handsome?" like...🙄 yeah, michael we know. he's probably the hardest to draw because of his tattoo, so i think he genuinely appreciates it when you put in the effort to capture his intricacies. will never admit this but he's low-key proud of you and your talent (mostly just your ability to make him look good.)

rin is one of those people who doesn't understand hyperrealism. like why does he need a highly detailed sketch of his face when he can just take a photo and print it out? i don't think he understands art in general. probably despises modern art too. he'd take one look at a rothko painting and be like....i could draw this too...in my sleep. similar to sae, i feel like he's just numb to the sentimentality of gift-giving. doesn't understand why you would waste your time drawing a little picture of him, but it does make his heart feel strangely fuzzier, so maybe he'll keep it this one time. lo and behold, months later he now has a collection of your drawings he doesn't have the heart to throw away. refuses to let isagi or anyone see them because they're meant for his eyes only.

yukimiya has impeccable taste. in fact, he's probably an artist himself. i think it'd be cute if you both drew little sketches of each other throughout the course of your relationship. but neither of you ever knew until you gifted him your sketchbook for christmas, and he was like....guess what...i drew you too. thinks you're pretty even when you don't think so. sometimes when you're having a coffee shop date, he scribbles a portrait of you on his napkin because the sunlight hit your cheek just right in that moment, and the birds were chirping, and he fell in love all over again. i think it's also tragic that he's slowly losing his eyesight, so he won't be able to enjoy your drawings and the vibrant colors you infuse into them. that's why he treasures them even more. probably thumbs over the pages from time to time. memorizes every stroke and line.

isagi likes the way you always draw that little tuft of hair that sticks up on the top of his head. it looks like a cute little bean sprout. he pins your drawings up above his bed next to a polaroid of you two in germany. buys you a professional art set for your birthday. if you're a digital artist, he buys you a new tablet and stylus.

bachira adds his own doodles next to yours except he makes a chibi version of everything. always pesters you to include his little fangs. uses the boldest combination of colors. he would definitely be a messy artist. paint everywhere. fingernails perpetually stained a different color. you both draw during class, so when you two trade notebooks to actually study......there aren't any actual notes.

barou acts like he doesn't know what to do with your drawing of him but then the next day you visit his house, and he's already put your artwork in a fancy picture frame. refuses to let anyone else even stand within a ten meter radius next to it because he doesn't want their "nasty fingerprints" all over your beautiful masterpiece.

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waterloggedsoliloquy · 6 months

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mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

#cecil drawls #long post #i love you guys

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

Note

WIBTA for asking my SO to do something that they have trauma around?

I don't know when this will be posted but as of writing we are about 2 weeks post valentines day. Ages and genders irrelevant, we're in our 20s and queer.

So I have not been with Jordan long, but we knew each out for a few months as friends before we got together, and have been close pretty much all of the time we've known each other. This is to say, I know them pretty well despite us not actually having been dating that long.

Because we were already friends I knew going into the relationship, without Jordan specifically saying anything, that they had plans on Valentines day. They got tickets to a concert I wasn't interested in a decent amount of time before we got together.

Obviously, not an issue in the slightest, and neither of us brought up anything regarding Valentines day. It was a week day, so I was working all day, and then the time of the concert meant there was no possibility of meeting up after, just not meant to be this year. I thought we were in the same boat just silently agreeing that the timing wasn't right but that it wasn't a big enough deal to even be worth bringing up, especially in such a new relationship.

Some backstory on me: I'm a hopeless romantic and have a kind of cute aesthetic? I like dressing in bright colours, and some of my favourite outfits have prints of hearts, flowers, and cherries. Needless to say I really enjoy the aesthetic of Valentines day, and I've always kind of fantasised about being able to spend it with someone I have romantic feelings for. I've only had two romantic relationships before this and the first one only lasted 6 months and didn't make it to Valentines day, and in the second we both contracted the same bug and were horribly sick throughout February.

Obviously I don't think you should only do things for your SO on Valentines day, but I think it would be fun to have the chance to really get into it! In the past I've organised Valentines day events with my other single friends where we dress in pink and have heart shaped foods etc and those have been great, but haven't quite satisfied my desire to have a Romantic Valentines.

So, despite the fact that my SO was busy, I wanted to do a little something. I do digital art, so when I got home from work I drew a pun Valentines card featuring Jordan's favourite character. It took a few hours and I was pretty proud of how it came out. I knew they were at the concert still, but I texted it to them, so they could see it after.

They responded that night and their first message was just "oh." I've known Jordan long enough that i read the tone to be "oh, now I to have a conversation I didn't want to have." They went on to explain that they associate Valentines day with some past trauma. I won't give any details here, but the tone of the conversation was that they don't celebrate Valentines day because of their trauma, and this seemed like a very final stance.

Now. I don't think I'm TA for drawing the art and sending it, this had never been brought up before, so I didn't know I was crossing a boundary.

I do think Jordan is slightly TA for not saying anything about my art that I worked hard on, but only slightly bc I assume the trauma response just kind of took over.

But my question is, WIBTA if I asked my SO to celebrate Valentines day with me in future even though it's something they have trauma around?

I'm not planning to force them or anything and it doesn't even have to be in the next few years, but thinking long term it feels really gloomy to me to have to miss out on Valentines forever when my SO could be making new memories with me so that mentions of the holiday are less painful.

I don't expect them to just "get over" it magically or anything but I want to ask if it's something they'd possibly want to work up to? I swear I'm not trying to be dismissive their response is fully valid and I don't want to imply my silly fantasies are more important than their traumatic reality I just want to know if this would be an asshole move or not.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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world-of-aus · 5 months

Note

Heyyyy, I think I have an idea hehe. I absolutely love mob!Bucky but I have an idea for teacher!Bucky hehe. And I hope you like it.💕

What about Bucky teaches little kids in school and there is that one little kid who adores him and even when he doesn’t admit it he adores her too. When he meets the mother (this would be the reader) he likes her and the little kid is there as well and is completely in love with him hehe.

I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not. And if not and you don’t write it it’s one but when you write it thank you hehe.💕

Pairing: Teacher!Bucky x Teacher!Reader

Warnings: None.

Author's Note: I've altered the request just a tiny bit so I hope you don't mind! I have been obsessed recently with Meet Cute's and decided why not give it a try through your request and see how I do! This is such a self-indulgent fic for me, as I am a Elementary Special Education Teacher so my love for the kids and the job will shine through Bucky in this lol! Thank you for requesting, and I hope you enjoy it! Happy Readings Buns!

Meet the Teacher.

A designated night for parents to do just that, meet their child's teacher.

Though many already knew who Bucky or Mr. Barnes as they all respectfully called him was, many had still filtered in with their child through his open classroom door this evening, if the missing folders he had placed out this afternoon were any indication.

It had been a sight for Bucky to see; what once used to be tear stained cheeks, wobbling lips, and meek hellos offered behind their parent's legs at the beginning of the year were now beaming smiles, small arms wrapping around his waist and the most eager voice telling him all about their day outside of his classroom.

It was the part he loved most about his job, the interactions he had with his students, the growth he was able to be a part of from the beginning of the school year right up to the end when they received their Kinder Diploma.

He was astonished with the group of kids he had this year, all of them growing on him, wedging a piece of them into his heart. And though it happened every year, he was still surprised with how much he grows to care for them all, how much he misses them - though he will see them in passing through the hallways. Even after he's been assigned a new set of kids to mold and grow with.

With his classroom void of students and visitors, he takes the time to walk around and take it all in. Student crafts and paperwork strung from the ceiling, stapled to his wall, even pinned to his bulletin board which he has deemed his wall of memories that sits directly behind his desk.

The kids' drawings of him taking up most of the corkboard background now. He takes it in, noticing that one students art work in particular covers more, and a smile pulls at his lips. She’s the brightest he believes he's had in his seven years of teaching. Keep in mind all of his kids are bright, there's not one child that has walked through his doors that hadn't not surprised him yet, but there's something about this one. She radiates warmth, a certain kindness that he didn't think a six year old could hold, an adult maybe, but a child at this age?

He's proud to be her teacher though, to take away some of that kindness she spreads through his class. He applauds her parents daily on the way they've raised her, he imagines if he had a daughter he'd like to do as good of a job as they've done with her.

A soft knock pulls him from his trance, his breath catching in his chest when he looks to his doorway.

You stand there with a warm smile on your lips your daughter tucked shyly behind your leg, a sight he never believed he'd see. A soft hello meets his ears kicking him into motion as he closes the distance between the two of you. Hand outstretched, yours falls into his, like it fits his heart thinks. "You must be y/d/n's mother," he greets. Your smile nearly brings him to his knees, this is who she gets it from, he thinks, it has to be. You radiate the same warmth.

"Yes, she talks so much about you and your class, Mr. Barnes did this, Mr. Barnes taught that, she's really taken with you, you're doing a wonderful job with your students."

He's complimented plenty by parents and staff, but hers rings a little more with him tonight. Drawing his attention down to the little girl that hides behind her leg, he drops to a squat offering her a smile. "I know it's not morning but," and he tilts his head to the doorway where his visuals sit. He watches as she emerges more from behind you, her finger pointing to where it points every morning. He doesn't hesitate as he opens his arms for her, her little body lunging at him, that giggle that he gets every morning from her finally emerging. There she is.

When he releases her he stands, but her smaller hand finds his as she pulls him inside the room, his evening looking a lot like his morning. He can hear you scold her softly as you follow them in, and he can't help but to look over his shoulder, a shake to his head, "it's alright," he answers, "it's not a problem."

The three of you move further into the room, Bucky following the lead of the little girl pulling his hand, and you trailing just behind the two of them. They come to a stop at her desk, you fall in closer to them as your daughter opens her folder for you to see all the works she's done.

You coo and aww at all the pages she pulls for you to see, that prideful smile on her lips as she waves the pages at you. Bucky takes this time to step in, to compliment you like you did him. "She's a wonderful student, not only in her academics but with her classmates as well, where you daughter is involved no friend of hers is ever left out." Your eyes meet his, warm smile returning to your lips, "you and dad are doing a wonderful job with her, she amazes me everyday really."

There's a slight falter to your smile, and Bucky wonders what he might have said wrong. He watches as your hand falls to your daughters head, smoothing it over her hair, "thank you so much, but it's just me and her." Oh. "I'm so sorry, I should have asked first." He offers mentally scolding himself. You shake your head," It's quite alright Mr. Barnes, you couldn't have known," you say smile returning, "I always worry that I might not be doing the best I can by her but -"

"You're doing a wonderful job," he cuts in hoping to right his wrong, wanting to suddenly stop any negative thought waiting to leave your parted lips, because you were doing an amazing job. "Y/d/n is such a bright student, with the biggest heart I think I've ever seen in a six year old, you should really be proud of not only her, but yourself as well. I can't say I know what it's like to raise a child but you've got a very bright girl on your hands, she shows me everyday."

He watches you go bashful under his words, he'd like to do it again he thinks. "Thank you Mr. Barnes."

"Please call me Bucky." and he might tell himself later in the car that he doesn't know what made he do it, but he knows why.

You go bashful on him again, gaze drifting down to your daughter who still flips through her work. Your eyes find his again, and he wonders if you've gone breathless like him, "Thank you Bucky," his name coming from your lips sounds even better. "It really means a lot to me, but I don't think I can take all the credit, she's with you for just as much time as me, if there's anyone else who should be thanked here it's you as well, as I mentioned earlier you're doing a wonderful job not only with her, but your other students as well - given the fact that she raves about you everyday." you tease, your daughter groaning at you for ratting her out.

He chuckles, "well she raves about you as well, y/d/n would you like to show mom your drawings of her?" The noise that leaves your daughters lips is comical, as if she figured out where her hidden treasure is as she moves around the room to go get her art folder. She moves back over to the two of you laying the folder flat as she flips it open, pulling pages. "Whenever the children have downtime, she chooses to sit by my desk side and draw you, likes to comment here and there with me what she's created, and why."

He hears you apologize and he can't wonder why, "I'm so sorry, she must keep you from your work." He laughs eyes still watching your daughter flip through the art, "teaching kids, learning about them, with them, it's my job, it's no problem at all, it's what I love the most."

He doesn't catch the way you look at him then, his gaze to intent on your daughters work. "That one's my favorite," he comments pulling your gaze from him to the paper your daughter holds, a picture within a picture."

You laugh, smile pulling at your lips, despite the overdrawn images you know exactly what she's drawn. "She wouldn't stop talking about you that day," you say, "she was raving all about you, how I just had to meet Mr. Barnes, that I was going to love him just like she did, told her I needed to meet him first, she came up to me with that picture of you thirty minutes later asking how I felt now."

He chuckles your gazes locking at once, he'll scold himself later in his car at how unprofessional his next comment, "and what do you think?"

"A little more time with you and I just might."

Your gazes fall away then both of you falling bashful as you both redirect your attention back to the wonderous girl.

He was betting on it.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au

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kivedreams · 3 months

Text

I WANT YOU. part. I knj.

pair. idol namjoon x f. reader. f. is latina poc.

genre. falling in love, established relationship, romance, marriage

warnings. +18 racism and colorism discussed [this part does not contain smut, but the story is not made for a minor audience] this super delulu coded [pls tell me if i missed anything ]

synopsis; you make my life shine, and I think I also make yours shine or you didn't know how hard a relationship with a famous person would be

word count: 4.7k

A/N: i let my delusions run free with this one, i think ill be four parts.

next part.

Just a the moment you thought the party was dying down they arrived, is not like you hated the idea of having a party, but this week has been hard on you, nothing went exactly as you planned, having your thesis send back two times in a row, draw you down, that thesis was the last thing between you and your PhD, you knew it was going to be hard, but God it really was testing you, of course you were happy for Namjoon today was a big day for him, he was finally releasing the book that he always wanted to publish a full guide on The Joseon era art and its influence in today's korean artwork, Namjoon was really proud of korean artists, so being able to pay homage to them was a big thing for him and for you, because Namjoon happiness was part of your own.

The tight red dress that you were wearing might have been a bit too much, but it was Namjoon’s gift. It might have been tighter because you had put on some weight due to the stress of these months. Going to the gym or doing any type of exercise was the last thing on your mind. You would have been lying if you did not admit that, it was one of the things that were making you feel insecure tonight, your relationship was already hard, nobody believed that Namjoon the first born child of a korean family, the leader of the most successful kpop group and now Namjoon the writer would settle for you, a latin woman of color, that did not appeal to a single one of the korean standards, you weren't insecure by Namjoon’s feelings, but you were insecure on how everyone else feelings and prejudices might influence his decisions, is not like you were desperate for the ring, you really didn't need it, nor were you prepared for marriage, but sometimes it feel like the only thing that could silenced all the voices in your head, all the social media talk, and of course everyone around you.

“Y/N?�� He called for you. You were still in the balcony of the apartment, seated in the light brown handmade chair you purchased for the space, with a glass of wine enjoying the Seoul night, a slight breeze, and of course the beauty of the balcony Namjoon and you have crafted together, a lot of plants were everywhere accompanied by artworks and souvenirs that you both had collected through the years, some on your travels together, some alone.

“Yes, darling” you responded looking at him, Namjoon was an extremely handsome man, you loved that haircut in him, and his choice of clothing today was a masterpiece, that beige suit with a purple turtle neck top was a perfect mix. He looked at you with confusion in his eyes, he quickly brushed that look a way and sais,

“My parents are here, they're asking for you” Are they? was the only thing in your mind

You walked to him with a smile taking his hand, to greet them and most of the guest that have arrived since you little rendezvous to the balcony, you were begging that nobody would notice your weight, your thighs were clearly giving a show in that dress, god I hope the concealer is strong enough to cover the sleep bags in my eyes, do I still have lipstick on?

“Y/N!” His father greeted you “You look so beautiful tonight! How is your thesis going? Are you close to the finish line?” His father always looked happy to see you, but was he?

“Mr. Kim! Thank you! And yes I'm close to the finish line, if everything goes as planned, I will be able to present it in a few weeks” You responded with a smile giving him a hug and doing the same with his mother. She always looked at you, at your hair with curiosity? Of course 4B coils were not the norm in Korea, but Korean beauty standards weren't going to pressure you into hating your beautiful hair.

After polite talks and greetings for a whole night with people that were close to both of you, in professional and personal level, the night was over, Namjoon and you finished saying good bye to the last guest and his agent, the night was a success, as you knew it would be, Namjoon never fails to amaze you, you saw him the whole night , moving around and enchanting everyone, you get it, you too were enchanted by him.

Finally being able to get rid of the uncomfortable shoes and the red lace around your waist that made the dress even tighter and letting Namjoon in the living room talking with the service that was in charge of getting everything clean up and tidy again, walking straight to your room, dreaming of the comfort of your bed, you forgot all the things that were placed on top of it, because you didn't trust any of the frail art pieces to be in the open while everybody drank and mingle, with not other option, you moved to the balcony, walking down to the kitchen first taking a glass of wine with you and politely smiling to the service, Namjoon was out of your sight.

Sitting on the cold floor of the balcony letting your hair free from the detailed bun that it was made into, enjoying the silence and peace of the night. You felt empty, maybe too much stress plus the insecurities in your relationship were passing you the bills, in a few months you would be 30, and if you get your PhD granted, working as a full time curator in the national art museum of Seoul, just what you wanted, but was Namjoon on your side for it? you didn't know.

“Babe” He called, putting a blanket on top of you, you did not realize how cold you were until he did so “ Tired? they are almost finishing, our room is ready, lets go”

You looked at him from the floor with your face resting on the wooden bench, giving him a little nod, but your body was not responding to the idea of standing up, maybe you were too tired, maybe it was that third glass of wine, reminding you that alcohol was not your forte.

“Too tired? “ He said lifting you up, you hugged him, getting flooded by his strong musky scent.

Before you could realize it you were already on the bedroom, headlight turn off, the only light in the room coming from the bed stands, Namjoon sat you on the edge of the bed looking at you with curious eyes, his hands on you waist, you could feel his breathing, warmth, “Can we talk in the morning?” you ask, with almost no energy to spare.

“Is everything ok?” he asked back, now with a worried look on his face.

“Yes, I am exhausted, let's talk tomorrow please” you said standing up making your way to the bathroom, trying to unzip the dress off and failing.

“Ok” He said, hugging you from the back, there it was again his scent, it made you feel so calm, at peace.

He started to remove the dress from you, leaving you there exposed to his eyes, and to yours. You could see the reflection in the mirror, how he was hugging you even harder, tighter, Namjoon loved you, you knew that. He started to remove his own clothes, making you move the other side of the sink to remove your makeup.

You heard the water running in the tub, namjoon got close to you naked, “Want to take a bath?”

“No, I’ll take a quick shower and go to bed”

“Ok darling “ He said, kissing your neck. Making you move.

He flicked due to the inspected action “I'm not in the mood to have sex” You said, before he could say anything.

“Is ok, I just want to feel you…” he said with a hurt look, you took a step back using the shower as an excuse. Namjoon was even more confused, because you never rejected physical touch, so it felt as if you were rejecting him, but you weren’t, you just wanted to reject the feeling that you had for him, because it felt like you had everything to lose.

It was around 2AM when you two were in bed together, Namjoon pulled you close, and you couldn't say no, you couldn't do that to him again. Nighttime passed through your eyes seeing the sun rise that sunday morning, you weren't able to sleep just thinking about all the possibilities, weighing your options, you could finish your phd and go back to your country, even though it was useless, jobs for a art history doctor, were not easy to find everywhere, you didn't think that you would be able to continue to live in korea after breaking up with him… the thought made you sob, you couldn't stay in bed anymore, so you quietly stood up, walking to your safe place the balcony.

The living room was like it always use to be everything clean up and in its place, you saw the blanket that namjoon used on you last night perfectly folded, taking it to the balcony with you, a cup of tea to clean your mind and a lonely space for you to cry in peace, and there you were cuddling up in the chair, with the cold morning breeze it was 6AM, but you were crying, because there were no other options for you, you knew, Namjoon would not settle for you, you'll never live up to the standard needed to be his wife, so it was better to finish it now, than wait for later.

Only your cries and the mobile hanging in the side could be heard, so that was it, like that, it was going to be over.

“Y/N?!” He called, and you used all your strength to hide your tears, but of course he noticed.

“Are you ok honey? Talk to me” You could hear the worry in his voice, you really tried to pull back the tears, but seeing him did not help

And there, both of you were, him hugging you and giving you solace, until your crying stopped, and all you could feel was his heartbeat, his hand going up and down comforting you. There he was for you, and you were about to end a 4 year old relationship.

You meet namjoon 7 months into arriving in seoul, while you were doing your master your favorite professor suggested you to pursue a doctorate in Korea, she knew people, she could get you a internship in Seoul’s national museum while you studied, and of course she knew people in HanYang university, you knew she was an important woman in the area, but you sub estimated her contacts and power, and there you were a year later accepted into Hanyang university with a full scholarship and paid internship, you didn't know how, but the rumor that you were there due to nepotism spread all over your department reaching your workplace, while it was true that your professor helped you, the scholarship was won fairly due to your grades and the ingenuity of your master's thesis. It made your work and student life harder, as if the racism and colorism wasn't enough, but of course you weren't there to make friends, you were there to finish your studies and make a name for yourself.

That just made everyone hated you more, your coworkers thought it would be great for you, a newly hire to conduct a private view of a new exposition for a VIP, at that point you did not know if it was the racism, the nepotism rumor or because they did not want to make it themselves; but at the end that's how you met namjoon, of course you knew who he was, you might not been his fan, but you knew what his impact was, the quality of his music, and the power he had. His whole presence made you nervous, but you weren't going to risk your job nor lose the professionalism. He ended up being there because the director invited him to look at the new collection that you direct boss had picked, but he wanted it to be private, he wanted to enjoy it, and that's how the both of you ended up there, sitting on the floor of the museum admiring the work behind the main art piece.

“Now I understand, why he wanted me to look at it in person” he said with a smile “it is magnific, it was worthy escaping from the studio for this”

“I know, art can free you, it's like the whole world shut down for a minute and you can breathe” you said, genuinely happy, because he was really calm and easy to talk to, so you weren't nervous anymore, it was a success.

“Indeed” he said looking at you, you felt the warm in your face because of the way he was looking at you, he stood up and helped you too “It has been a pleasure Y/N, meeting you and the collection, I think now I am supposed to take a photo” You got frozen en place, his voice was deep and raspy, it got you flustered, you came back to your senses

“Y-yes, you do, gimme a minute to look for the camera” You said moving quickly.

You took various photos of him, he looked great in every single one, Namjoon was a handsome man, and on top of that he was so humble and easy, maybe you expectatives where in the low as soon as you heard the world VIP or maybe Namjoon was just different, he made your heart move faster.

While you were tidying up he approached you with a question,

“Y/N would you like to take a photo with me?” it surprised you , but you did not have the ability to say no.

He pulled you close, you didn't know what to do, and he noticed, so he just told you to smile, you did so, but only god knows how you ended up looking in that picture. After that he said his farewell, and you could see his bodyguards getting closer than they were before.

It was such an experience it shaked your life for the next days, you could only think of him and his strong scents, it was so good, like a forest, as the freshness of the summer, Namjoon really did a number on you, you googled half of his life in those days, and started to listing to his music, it was really good, now you understood even more his fame. At the moment that you thought that you were forgetting the flustered feeling that he led on you, he posted it, he posted the photo that he took with you, you had a start sticker on your face, and his caption left you thinking about him even more,

art can free you, the whole world shut down for a minute and you can breathe

Did he post that because of you? Did he?

====================================

It was a normal thursday, you were in the subway on your way to work, thinking about the essay you had due this sunday, it was almost done, but you felt it was missing something, moonchild playing on your airpods. The day promised to be rainy, it always rained in seoul, but not in the sad depressing way it rained in London, Seoul’s rain was calm and nostalgic, sometimes it was full of rage.

You didn't have much to do at work that day, the inauguration of the exposition was a success, you replied to the emails you had, sent some codes and updated the maintenance date of some artworks.

“Miss. Y/N, Mr. Park is asking to see you, if you could go to his office please” the voice caught you by surprise, it came from Mr. Shin, executive assistant of the museum director, the surprise was more in him coming directly to see you instead of sending you an email. Have something happened, did you mess up something…

You colleagues gave you strange and curious looks, it wasn't a normal situation, and their looks worked as a further confirmation.

Walking through the administration hallways behind Mr. Shin, got you nervous, what could've gone wrong why are they calling you, are you fired? no, R.R.H.H would’ve called for that. Mr. Shin led you to the office door and retired, you could not bring yourself to knock at the door scared, but there was no other way of escaping it. You knocked on the door twice, until you heard a deep voice say, “Come in”

You opened the door using all your strength and calm “Good morning Mr. Park, how may I help-

You stopped on your word when you saw Namjoon sitting in the middle of the room, Mr. Park's office was big, two mauve sofas facing each other in front of the big brown desk, and Namjoon was seated in one of them looking at you with a smile.

“Hello ‘Y/N” his deep voice filling the room, “Please sit down’” he said signaling the sofa in front of him

You were frozen in your step, why was Namjoon there? you quickly got back to your senses, and greeted him sitting in front of him, you didn't know if the nervousness was visible, your hands were sweaty, while they rested on your knees.

“I know you got up here thinking you were going to see YoungJo, I am sorry for that, but I did not wanted to make a fuss, hope you understand” you nodded in comprehension, of course it was going to be worse if Kim Nam Joon came calling for you, it was already weird Mr. Park doing so.

“I'm going to be direct, would you like to work for me?” The shock was painted in your face “I want someone to curate some art pieces for my parents house, and for my house too, since our conversation last week, I feel that you would be perfect for it, we share the same art vision”

You couldn't say a word, he was waiting for your response, but since you stood there in silence he continue “Money is not the problem, nor is the time, please name your price and tell me when we can start working together”

“I-I, are you sure? wouldn't you like someone more professional for this? someone with more experience in the area” you muttered, still lacking the words.

“No” he said solemnly “I am not looking for experience or somebody with a name in this, I want you and your fresh views, I read your master thesis, and I know your working in your doctorate, as I said your vision is what I want, it amuse me”

“Can I think about it?” You said, but what was there to think.

“Of course” he said “Here look, this is my personal number, you can call me or add me to Kakao, and my agent number in case I don't respond, but it is unlikely” he handed you both of the cards, looking at your shocked face with a smile. “If someone asks, just tell them that YoungJo confused you with someone else, ok?”

You nodded, still feeling out of place, looking at his almond shaped eyes, he said goodbye and left, letting you there. You slowly stood up, and walked to your department, art acquisitions, as soon as you arrived your coworkers started whispering. You sat down keeping face, when you were about to start working, Anja, who seated next to you asked,

“Hey Y/N what was that about?” with curiosity flooding her face, you smile and said loud enough,

“It was nothing, looks like they were calling someone else and somehow they got to me” you said shrugging your shoulders, resting importance to it, with you saying that the whispering and the looks finished.

The rest of the day was normal, but you still could feel the nervousness in your gut, he read your thesis, and wanted you to help him curate art for his family house and his home, it feel surreal, to good to be truth, but if it was, the opportunity was amazing, Namjoon would become your first private client, the scholarship money was decent, and you pay wasn’t that bad, but you knew that whatever Namjoon would pay you would be enough to pay rent until you found a space in the campus dorms. You weren't sure yet, there wasn't a big reason to say no, but you felt insecure. What if your work does not live up to his expectations?

You arrived home putting those thoughts to rest, working on your assignments and studying your lectures, before you could realize it, it was already past midnight and you knew what you were going to say.

Hello Mr. Kim,

I would love to work with you, please let’s discuss terms and conditions.

Have a great day, “Y/N”

12:51 am

Looking at your phone screen maybe it was too short? but it didn't need any more it was concise, you hit sent, without realizing, that you did not programmed the text message to be sent at 9 in the morning, panicking looking at the screen, until those 3 hell looking dots started blinking,

Amazing, and yes I’ll have a great day ;)

knj

12:52 am

===========================================

And there you were the next day, in front of Namjoon’s workplace building, he asked you to come the next day to discuss the job requirements and pay, you set a 3PM meeting with him, going to the big doors of HYBE ent. you were nervous hand sweating approaching the reception, you'd feel the looks, but is not like you cared anymore, but maybe you should had hided your hair today, everyone at work was already use to it, but this was a new environment, the comfort of your usual places made you forget where you were.

“Hello good evening, I have a meeting” You say approaching one of the well groomed ladies in front of you, she looked you up and down, and say,

“Excuse you?” Your korean might not be the best, but it wasn't bad, now being here for almost 8 months it had clearly improved, you repeated yourself, and then she ‘understood’

“Ok, May I know the name of the person and their department please?” she said with a smirk in her face,

“I don't know his department, the name is Kim Nam Joon” she and the two ladies at her side looked at you like you were a rare species.

“Are you sure of that?” She said with a shuckle, she wanted to laugh, it was clearly on her face.

“Yes I am sure, I wouldn't have come here if I wasn't” you said annoyed.

“Miss please, don't shame yourself in here, please go, or I'll be obligated to call security” the disgusted expression on her face saying everything you needed to know.

“Could you at least call him to verify?” keeping the last strand of politeness you asked.

“No. Please leave or I'll call security” she said standing up signaling the big crystal doors.

You were mad, not knowing what to do walking down to the doors, hearing his laughs and the looks of the people around, until of course your brain reacted, you were a smart girl after all,

Hello Mr. Kim I am already here

2:58 pm

Ok, amazing please come to my studio they'll tell you the floor ;p

2:59 am

I am not being allowed, I went to the front desk and they asked me to go, should I?

3:00 pm

What? why? please dont leave, youre in the lobby right ill come to you

3:00 pm

You read the last text, still being mad but now you knew that namjoon actually wanted you there, you stood close to the door still with some of the looks in you, but they couldn't send you out, you haven't done anything and you could easily say you were going to the store. 5 minutes passed and you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket Namjoon was calling you.

“Hi Y/N? on what side are you?” his voice sounded agitated, as if he had run.

“Hello, yes, I’m close to the doors, I have a white cardigan and a brown plaid scarf”

“I think I see you” and when he said that, you heard the commotion, there he was, his hair looking frizzy, like he had been passing his fingers through it. He had a pale green sweatshirt, a dark brown jacket and light brown trousers.

You heard the call finish, and he was getting closer to you, the people in the lobby were looking at him, and you were too but not with the same eyes. Namjoon looked so hot, he smiled at you, he was happy to see you and that calmed your heart.

“Hello Y/N, I thought you would leave” he said, extending his hand to you, you shaked hands with him.

“I almost did” you said, trying to conceal the discomfort in your voice.

“What happened, why couldn't you come in? it was just a call away” he said smiling to the people around you, you started walking with him and two bodyguards started walking at the sides.

“I explained that to the lady but she did not care to confirm that”

“Who?” the demanding tone clearly in his voice he stopped to look at you, his eyes waiting for an answer

“T-he lady with the ponytail” you mutter, namjoon’s eyes intimidate you.

“Is ok” he said, dragging you to the front desk, “Can I have a visitors pass for MY guest” he was clearly annoyed, and you were too, the face in the lady was priceless, she was between shock and disbelief, until she actually needed to talk,

“C-can I have some form of ID? " she asked, you opened your purse to take your passport, going directly to your work visa.

=========================================

Namjoon drove you to his studio, scanning his face on the door. The hallway to it was beautifully decorated with small and big art pieces, Namjoon really had a great taste, his studio was small but cozy, you could feel how he crafted every space himself, it screamed his whole personality.

“Please sit down” he said and you did so “Before we begin I am obligated to made you sign a NDA, is just protocol” he said sitting in from of you handing you a folder

“Yes, I understand” you said, giving a quick read to the NDA, you signed because it was ok and handed it to him.

“Ok, perfect. Do you want something to drink? I’m making myself a coffee” he stood up waiting for your answer.

“Water would be fine”

“I don't like to beat around the bush Y/N, I want you to pick beautiful and meaningful pieces for me, I would do it myself” he brought a glass of water for you, while holding a cup of smoking coffee “But I am pretty busy right now and I like you, and your style. Your thesis in Seurat, was an enjoyable read, and I feel that your fresh vision would be perfect for what I want” He sat down in front of you taking a sip, you did the same, Namjoon made you nervous, his aura was intoxicating.

“I get it, still, I don't have a full experience curating, I might have the theory but I stick lack the practice” you said being honest

“I'm giving the practice to you, what about 15% for every piece you pick for me? " he said with a smile that made his dimples show up.

You smiled at him “What about 20%?” You smirked.

“25%, do we have a deal?” he put down his cup to look you directly in the eyes.

“W-we do.” you smiled at him nervously due to his gaze.

“You could've said 50% and I would have said yes. I just want you.” He said standing up, giving you his hand, his words made you lose your breath.

=======================

from delululand with love, kive <3

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wachtelspinat · 4 months

Note

Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )

hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3

i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.

what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T

so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.

yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)

#LONG #sorry #i'm rambling #being an adult is hard and it never ends being a work in progress

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charon-cries · 1 month

Note

how do you determine your color palette...? color is something i have a lot of difficulty with and i really want to learn how to at least figure out a color palette 😅

i guess another way to phrase it is how did you go about learning color theory?

the number one most helpful thing i did for myself when teaching myself to color was to realize that every artist colors differently.

i already knew color theory in advance, i memorized every word i had been told throughout every highschool art class i had taken, but knowing the actual facts and knowing how to apply them are very different skills!

if you haven't learned the facts of color theory, i highly suggest these two videos (thing 1) (thing 2). <- the most important part of watching those videos is to hold them in your head as facts. if watching them doesn't make you necessarily understand how to apply them, that's okay! these videos are to give you the skills to be able to study color.

for a simple example, when it comes to picking colors based off the mood of your piece, pretty much everyone knows that blue will make an image feel more sad and emotional. yellow feels happy, red feels angry, pink feels affectionate.

a great way to teach yourself how to APPLY mood through color is to go back to a drawing you're already very proud of, and just mess around recoloring it. pick one thing you want to work on and try to use your color choices change the emotional effect of the piece.

it's incredibly helpful to use a piece that you have already colored, preferably one you're the most proud of. this is so that you aren't stressing yourself thinking about things like proportion or composition, and allows you to think solely about your color choices.

here's my example! for this example, my goal was to make this one feel far more bleak than my original finished piece.

i achieved this change by shifting the colors to all be more cold and desaturated, as well as making the blacks of his undershirt and tie look more washed out. most people associate cool colors with sadness, and dull colors with defeat. mixing those two makes the mood more bleak. color placement can also change a lot— for this version, i placed a lot of the blush color (which i desaturated significantly) higher up his face, which gives him a more horrified and thoughtful expression

once you've done exercises like this once or twice, a great way to decide how you want to color is to find out how other people pick their colors. one way to do this is color picking studies, and another is to watch youtube videos like this one where an artist explains their personal thought process while choosing colors.

if you'd like to know how i, personally, go about picking my colors, i would be happy to make a separate post outlining my process! it would take a pretty long time, though, because a lot of my process is to not leave things alone until i'm satisfied with how they look

the thing about being a self-taught artist is that everyone tells you that the way to get better is to "just practice," but that's not the whole story! art is a skill you have to build, and i've found the most effective ways to improve are to do studies, and to learn how to spot your mistakes and problem-solve until you can fix them.

i hope this was a good way to get you started on learning how to internalize and apply color theory! the more you study, and the more you learn, the better your results will be

youtube

#color theory #echolocating #art tutorial #art tips #artists on tumblr #digital artist #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #how to color

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skitskatdacat63 · 13 days

Text

"To dream the impossible dream, that is my quest." - Prince Fernando of Asturias

+ Seb not getting what he ordered

+ the usual

Hello yes, look! It's baby Renault Fernando, isn't he so cute??? Who wouldn't want to force him into an arranged marriage, like cmon man be real. Here is the progress as usual, as well as his suit without the design, cause I'm pretty proud of it just blank even!

Okay so this is pure Fernando, innocent Fernando, before he had his apirations ripped way from him. Well not fully ripped away tbf, because that's the crux of his character: is it more humiliating to never succeed or to only succeed because someone handed it to you with concessions? I guess that's up for him to decide though ;;;

The thing I love about this drawing and young Fernando in general is how much easier it is to see his and Seb's similarities. Look how similar they look! Seb is just a bit more evil.

I think that's a big part as to why his feelings about Seb are so complicated. He both loves and hates how similar they are. From an egotistical point, he can appreciate and respect the familiar traits in Seb, the hunger, the exuberance, the pride, the ego. But also we hate seeing our own traits in other people, it's almost like turning a mirror on your worst traits and suddenly being able to see yourself from a new perspective. The biggest point here though is that Fernando turns that resentment onto Seb, as a way to clamp down on self hatred.

He becomes more bitter and resentful as he grows older, and loses a lot of his whimsy and joy. So it hurts him to see Seb, who in addition to getting everything he's ever wanted, also retain his whimsy. He, wrongly, just sees it as something that had to happen in order for him to grow up fully. It's more of a survival tactic, it started becoming unbefitting for him to have that level of unfounded confidence. That's the main reason he sees Seb as childish, immature and undeserving. He hasn't fully grown out of his capacity for whimsy and joy, and thus is below Fernando.

Well that was depressing oops! As the chibi art represents, this is probably a painting Seb got sent in the early days of planning their marriage. This is the Fernando who is still prideful, the Fernando who is still confident, the Fernando Seb vaguely remembers meeting his youth. Seeing this definitely pushes him even further towards the marriage(though tbf it's not like he even has a choice either.) Though when the time to actually start courting comes around, Fernando looks very uh different. This is both a joke about how different Fernando was in his first renault stint vs his second. But also I think he does show up very moody and disheveled, as a sort of last chance way to try and turn everyone on Seb's side, including Seb, off from the marriage. However, it's pretty much a done deal by that point.

Seb is uh, definitely confused, but I think he would be drawn to Fernando regardless. Actually, this might make Fernando even more appealing. Seb gets to push him all the time, try to break down his walls and get a glimpse at the real Fernando, if even just for a moment. Seb wishes he had more that just a blurry, vague recollection of Fernando at his peak confidence. Fernando definitely grows into something resembling his past self, after recovering from all the hurt, but there's just something about youthful exuberance that can't really be fully replicated.

Okay so about the quote. I went with Don Quixote this time instead of the typical Napoleon, because I thought it'd be funny. Fernando picks up the book at some point during his youth, and it inspires him a lot. He doesn't really see the satire in it, and comes to really admire Don Quixote's mentality, he's like "wow he never gives up! That's so admirable!" It definitely helps him through dark times to aspire to never give up no matter what. Though later Seb definitely rags on him for not knowing it was satire, and Fernando is like "wh-what do you mean satire?" But he's mentally strong enough atp for it to not cause his whole worldview collapse. About the quote specifically, there's definitely some part of him, even when young, that knows his aspirations are borderline impossible. I wonder if that part of him feels weirdly safe and comforted about the marriage. Yes, it's not ideal, but it's safe and secure. He gets what he wants, and there's no chance of anyone taking it away from him, no matter what.

I think his title would be Prince of Asturias? It was either that or duke, and I think prince fits him bettee(Machiavelli reference?) That title is currently the title for the heir to the Spanish throne. In this time period, it's also commonly used for the heir, but for Fernando it's a bit unsure. Like in real life, he's not directly the offspring, but he's still the most obvious choice for heir. But there's still enough room for Seb and his house to try to vie for the throne themselves, so it makes it all complicated.

#*btw that quote is from don quixote just so thats clear. creds to Cervantes lmfao. i explained in the read more why !#hahahaha all my lore and tags and everything got deleted so i had to rewrite this all. original post you will live on fondly in my memories #^ i was half asleep writing it the 2nd time so i hope its still good?#its always going to be inferior to me but ig it doesnt rly matter bcs im the only one who actually got to read it ha #anyways super happy with this ahhhh!!!#it was so much fun to draw. i got to focus more on the fashion and its great as well bcs renault's colors are fire #im also glad to draw him bcs i feel like ive neglected hima bit compared to the others! its been a fair bit since ive drawn him #i cant remember what else i said here haha so ill just say hope ya like!#im still happy with the characterization notes and lore in the read more so def read it still!!#and as always please inquire if you have any thoughts or question abt the au #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #<- it gets more and more absurd every drawing to tag this but ah tradition ig #catie.art #boy king au #vettonso

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the-cannibal · 1 year

Note

Hii!! Can you make a hcs for Sinclair Brothers with an artist reader who can draw??

Hello there! And I sure can!

Sinclair brothers (separate) with an artist s/o!

Gender neural reader - they/them and you is used

He’s used to having artists in the family. His mother was one, and his twin followed in her footsteps. But they mostly worked with wax. Not that they didn’t know other mediums, it’s just not what they usually worked with.

He is definitely the kind of guy to hover over your shoulder to watch you, and when you ask if he wants to sit he’ll decline and tell you he’s just passing through. But then proceed to just stand behind you and watch you create in amazement.

He probably asks if you can draw something for him. It’s usually some car or maybe an animal like a deer.

Totally brags about you all the time. “Yeah yeah that’s great Vinny, but look what Y/n made! Ain’t they just the greatest? I mean, look at the details they put in!”

He has totally given you at least one of those art kit things that every family member gets you for the rest of your life as soon as they hear you like art

He isn’t one to draw with you, but he will watch you and ask you about your art! Also is lowkey kinda relieved you don’t work with wax. He doesn’t know if he would be able to handle another Vincent-

Vincent

Of course this sweet man is bouncing off the walls in excitement after learning your interest in art!

As much as he loves working with wax and sculpting, it’s nice to have a change once in a while! So he’d totally sit and draw with you and show you his own work!

Omg if you show him your art he will feel so honored. You think HE is worthy of seeing your beautiful creations? Can he kiss you? Please let him kiss you.

Probably has critiqued your art (and might have been a bit harsh) but he doesn’t mean it! If it upsets you let him know and he will tone it down. He won’t completely stop (don’t think he could with Trudy being his mother and art teacher-) but it will be a lot nicer, going from “You’re shading that wrong” to “That’s very nice looking, but perhaps you might find (insert technique here) to be a bit easier?”

If you need any art supplies feel free to borrow his! Unlike Bo giving you the… “art kit”, he actually has good, working, quality supplies :)

Art dates are a must! Imagine going out for a picnic and bringing your sketch books and drawing together.

You both probably have pages upon pages of drawing of one another

Lester

BIGGEST HYPE MAN WITH ANY OF YOUR HOBBIES

He isn’t very artistic himself, but when he sees you drawing at the table you bet your ass he is grabbing a piece of paper and drawing with you. Is it a dog? A tree? No, that’s supposed to be… you? A kindergartener could have probably done a better job but you love it anyways

Makes requests all. The. Time.

“Honey can you draw Jonesy?” “How about my truck?” “Ooh! What about some bones?” “CAN YOU DRAW ME?!?!!?”

I could see him making you sketchbooks and pencils and leaving them around for you to find :)

Watches you with big ol eyes like 👁️ 👁️ HE CANT HELP IT! ITS JUST SO NEAT TO WATCH!

Also praises you like crazy to others. “Now would you look at this, Bo?” “For the hundredth time Lester I’ve seen-“ “no no NO! Look HARDER! Look at this amazing art piece that they made! Ain’t it just the greatest! Could probably put ma out of business with this work!”

Has totally tried sneaking your art into the wax museum… he was caught very quickly but that doesn’t stop him!

Would also hang your art on the fridge like the proud partner he is

#slasher x reader #house of wax 2005 #bo sinclair #cannibals writing requests #vincent sinclair #house of wax x reader #house of wax #lester sinclair #lester sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #bo sinclair x reader

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carelesslywriting · 2 years

Text

The Rafters - Eric Coulter

Requested: Reader falls asleep in the rafters after leaving a party gone wrong, Eric takes it upon himself to find the reader before both of them get in trouble.

Masterlist Here

Word Count: 1360 Trigger Warnings: anxiety, alcohol use Note: These imagines are my own work and I do not consent to distribution of my work elsewhere!

“Y/N!” Your friend called out, running to catch up with you. “You’re going to the party tonight, right? You’ve missed every party since you’ve been here!” You huffed at the thought.

“Despite being Dauntless, you know how I feel about extremely crowded places,” You replied, gripping your bag a bit tighter at the thought.

“I heard this party isn’t even going to be that big, you don’t even have to stay that long,” Your friend countered back to you, a smile on his face.

“I’ll think about it, see you later,” You answered, turning off and away from your friend to head to the initiate’s shared room, while he headed towards the dining hall.

You were a strong initiate for this year, and you were proud of it. You weren’t at the very top of rankings, but you were in the comfortable upper middle where you didn’t have to worry about being dropped to become factionless. You loved art and drawing so much that you were thinking about how you would love to be a tattoo artist when you finally graduate initiation. You could make some badass designs with ease, and you didn’t need to be at the top of the class to be able to get a job requiring you to draw well. It also didn’t require you to be around a lot of people or extremely chaotic places.

After your training, you’d find yourself gravitating towards staying in and studying up on different types of art design and drawing took up most of your free time. You liked it that way. You liked being able to know you could defend yourself and be brave when you needed to, but also could flourish in your passion without being crowded by people all the time around you. Being a tattoo artist is one on one, most of the time. So, you spent all your free time sketching away, lost in your own thoughts about what design to come up with next.

You took your art supplies, sketch pad, and books with you everywhere. Tonight was no different when you decided to try out this party that your friend was bugging you about. He did say that it would be a smaller party, and you hoped that was true. Your anxiety walking down to where the party was being held skyrocketed, and you clutched your bag tighter to your body as you entered the party. Your friend was right, it wasn’t too busy, and you found yourself breathing a sigh of relief as you released your tight grip and found a couple of your friends in one of the corners of the room.

“Hey Y/N, you made it!” One of your friends said, giving you a quick hug as you sat down to join them. They had a round of shots already around the table.

“We’re glad you’re here!” Another friend said, sliding her shot over to you. “Bottoms up.”

You hesitantly took the shot, making a face as the liquor went down your throat. Your friends laughed a bit at the face you made, continuing their conversation and ordering more shots. You stopped after the second shot, noticing the room start to get more crowded and even busier. You thought the shots would’ve been enough liquid courage if that had happened, however you just felt buzzed and even more anxious. After being at the party for an hour, you ended up grabbing your book bag and leaving after a drunk boy bumped into you and accidentally dumped all his beer down the back of your shirt. You didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to your friends before you took off, startled with what had just happened.

As you ran out, you found yourself at the first place you could think of to get away from the crowd and all the chaotic energy the party had become. You started climbing the ladder up to the rafters without a second thought. However, right as you reached the top, you felt the tug of your book bag stuck on a sharp metal. It left a massive tear in your bag as you tried to rip it off to climb to what you considered safety, and you ended up grabbing everything out of the bag and abandoning it, all your supplies in hand as you sat up high, trying to calm yourself down. You reeked of the beer that was spilt on you and felt like a sticky mess because of it.

You didn’t know how much time had passed, just that you ended up falling asleep at one point while sitting up there. It must’ve been a while though because little to your knowledge, Eric was out searching for you. He didn’t want to get in trouble for an initiate going missing, so he took it upon himself to search for you before a higher up noticed you were gone. He felt like he had looked everywhere, and an hour must’ve passed at that point. As he was walking back towards the initiate’s room to see if you had returned while he was searching, a book fell straight down in front of him. Puzzled, Eric looked up to find you passed out in the rafters, supplies in hand. The book must have fallen when you slightly stirred in your sleep, moving slightly to get more comfortable.

“Initiate!” Eric hollered, causing you to jump from your sleep. A couple of your supplies had dropped down to the ground when he awoke you, and Eric narrowly dodged the sketchpad that now laid open in the middle of the hallway. “What are you doing up there?” Eric asked.

“I’m not sure, I didn’t mean to fall asleep up here,” You admitted sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I’ll come down.”

You hoped you wouldn’t get into too much trouble for this. However, as you started to attempt to climb down, you realized you wouldn’t be able to do it without your book bag. Shit. You anxiously looked down at Eric, who seemed to understand your dilemma and he looked almost amused at the situation you got yourself stuck in.

“Sometime tonight, initiate,” Eric spoke, glancing back down at what you already dropped. “I don’t want to deal with the paperwork of having to explain why an initiate was missing from the dorms.” You knew you couldn’t just abandon your supplies though.

“Can I toss down my things to you?” You asked, still feeling extremely embarrassed and scared to even ask. Your ass was toast. Eric tried to cover his face full of amusement with a hard face but failed as he looked at the remaining supplies and books in your hand.

“Make it quick,” Eric replied, looking around to make sure no one else was around.

You did as you were told, tossing each thing you had individually down to Eric, him catching everything and setting it onto the pile already on the ground of your stuff that had fallen. Once everything you had on you was safely down, you quickly climbed down the ladder, turning to grab your stuff and quickly make your way back to the other sleeping initiates. However, you noticed Eric with your open sketchbook in hand, looking down at your work. You picked up the rest of your things on the floor, Eric closing the book and throwing it on top of everything else.

“Get back to the dorms, I’ll be wanting an explanation from you in the morning,” Eric said, watching as you scurried back towards the room. “And initiate, make sure you have a damn good reason because it would be a shame for such artistic talent to be wasted if you became factionless. We’ll also be discussing that design I saw for myself in the morning as well.”

You didn’t reply as you entered the room you were meant to be asleep in, quickly placing your things under your bed and taking your shoes off to lay down and go to sleep. All you could think about as you were drifting off was how you were going to need another book bag, and how Eric wanted to get your design tattooed onto him.

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