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#astonishment and joy
Astonishment and joy
I still remember the first time when we spent time alone we were starting to get used to each other's silence and presence the first time we touched, I made the first move and you allowed me to hold your hand you noticed the rhythm of my heart beats are unusual you kept your head on my shoulder and I felt the butterflies The first time we kissed, all the voices in my head stopped I could only see your face clearly Everything apart from that felt blurry I felt the 'astonishment and joy' Abigail was talking about I understood, in those moments, that all those movies and songs weren't lying about anything the first time we went on a date, it was burger king because of my indecisiveness I didn't thank you enough for being so understanding I got used to eating with you, eventually. you told me stories about your childhood I was getting to know you the first time we got intimate in a public washroom I was so excited and scared But you held me, & I felt content and kinda turned on???? you tasted salty, because of all the spicy food you've been eating I loved it the first time we booked a room I didn't feel as scared as I thought I would it was a bit awkward at first, neither of us could stop smiling I remember every gasp, every breath, every clench, and every moan the realizations on your face, the things we learned about our bodies "do all lovers feel like they're discovering something new" yes they do Heloise!
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mintytrifecta · 1 year
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Sorry but if you say you're "being realistic" or "seeing the world as it is" and then only spout of the negatives then you're not being realistic and your worldview will devour you whole. Pessimism is not realistic. There is no world void of joy and to believe that is to ignore the goodness in the world and only see things in an unrealistic, cynical perspective that is not and never will be how things are. Find some joy in the smallest of things or perish.
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thebirdandhersong · 26 days
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songbird's life sparknotes (both joyful and painful moments) from the past little while:
read Brian Doyle for the first time and it broke me :')) it BROKE me. If you haven't read his work, I highly recommend. That man has a tender voice much like Mary Oliver and Frederick Buechner.
read a bajillion things (book count: 72), a third of which were picture books about nature
I had one really bad day where I broke down WEEPING because on top of losing my favourite sweater (a gift from a good friend who moved away -- every time I wear it, I feel like I'm being hugged by her), being overwhelmed by schoolwork and job applications, and encountering Worse boy problems, I found that someone had been stealing from my one-pint box of French vanilla ice cream (which was literally the only thing holding me together). This hit so hard when I found one scoop's worth of ice cream left in that container
found my favourite sweater (THANK GOD)
read a bunch of Robert Macfarlane and John Koenig and Jenny Offill and Mary Oliver
listened to a lot of acoustic indie soft sad music and then had to pull myself together and listen to acoustic indie soft happy music to feel better
found that I did not, in fact, enjoy Paradise Lost, or Milton, in general
had to force myself to stop listening to Lizzy McAlpine and Phoebe Bridgers because that ish was breaking my heart
got my heart broken even more exponentially by real life, non-musical events that were unfortunate and annoying and caused a great deal of inner turmoil
learned to play guitar! and am learning to finger-pick the strings (a difficult endeavour that I have yet to master)
survived midterms. Barely
led Holy Week devotions at the dorm and LOVED it
was chosen to present a paper at the department student conference (!!!!!!!!) so am working on that now
lots of family and friend time!
was driven around for 30 min by the world's worst driver (godson) and thought I was going to die or throw up. I did neither, fortunately
cried at every Christian club meeting and church service I attended (I kid you not) because I was overwhelmed by God's grace and loving-kindness despite Everything. also partly because Everything was a lot
LOTS of walks to the sea!
Sunday mornings playing guitar under the trees. You guys it's so good it really heals my heart :')
ICE CREAM DATES WITH THE GIRLS
the boy situation got, astonishingly, Worse and then better and then even WORSE. when I was asking for prayer a second time here during Lent, it was specifically because I had two-ish days of straight up agony. It was not a good time.
the boy situation 1 (spoiler: a second one appeared. Lol what is life) ended up resolving in: the boy I was horribly in love with (the one mentioned in previous posts) is semi-dating my good friend now
the boy situation 2 (a recent and unexpected development that has caused a surprising deep stab of pain! fun times) has now resolved as of today in: I'm literally never opening my heart to anyone ever again :) I cannot deal with this anymore :) I cannae DO THIS :) God help me (a fool and a clown) :) I CAN'T TAKE THIS NO MORE
however God is good and I am resolutely holding onto hope. The sun is here, the cherry blossoms are blooming splendidly, and I have school and work and future things to worry about!
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calamitys-child · 10 months
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Book Creature: All men hate the wretched. How, then, must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! (...) You purpose to kill me. How dare you sport thus with life? Do your duty toward me, and I will do mine toward you (...) Have I not suffered enough that you seek to increase my misery? Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it. (...) I ought to by thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. Everywhere I see bliss from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. (...) Shall I not then hate them who abhor me? I will keep no terms with my enemies.
Movie/pop culture Creature: auugh. grr.
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daisychainsandbowties · 9 months
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top five favourite small joys
1. when my friends write things and i get to read them and be quietly in awe and then loudly in awe
2. getting my favourite sushi and then attacking it with the bottle of sriracha. also the people in the sushi store now asking me 😏 ‘do you need one or two sets of chopsticks’ when i order two different types of sushi because they KNOW i am about to boywallow deliciously in my room eating both of them between bouts of getting killed in my viddy games
3. finally working through a technique in karate to the point that i can mow down the guys there who are one and a half times my weight. nothing like dropping a guy and seeing an exact rendition of the surprised pikachu face 😌
4. my cat who lies in the middle of the hall when i get home so that we can spend five minutes yelling ‘WHAT’ ‘MEOW’ at each other in a brotherly bonding ritual scientists are still trying to understand
5. hoodies. they exist 🥰
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dk-thrive · 1 year
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to lose myself inside this soft world -
Every day I see or hear something that more or less
kills me with delight, that leaves me like a needle
in the haystack of light. It was what I was born for - to look, to listen,
to lose myself inside this soft world - to instruct myself over and over
in joy, and acclamation. Nor am I talking about the exceptional,
the fearful, the dreadful, the very extravagant - but of the ordinary, the common, the very drab,
the daily presentations. Oh, good scholar, I say to myself, how can you help
but grow wise with such teachings as these - the untrimmable light
of the world, the ocean's shine, the prayers that are made out of grass?
— Mary Oliver, ‘Mindful’ from "Why I Wake Early" (Beacon Press; First Edition, April 15, 2004)
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songofclarity · 1 year
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In the novel, Lan Xichen took off his robe to cover Nie Huaisang at Guanyin Temple
Lan Xichen took off his outer robe and lay it over the shivering Nie Huaisang... (Ch. 102, ERS)
At this point, still enveloped in Lan Xichen’s robe, Nie HuaiSang gradually woke up. (Ch. 103)
But the donghua replaced all this and had Lan Xichen rip his robe to tend to Jin Guangyao's wounds instead...
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Our first act of kindness actually now belongs to Nie Huaisang.
The Guanyin Temple scene begins when Nie Huaisang, who was kidnapped from the Burial Mounds by Su She, checks in on how Lan Xichen is doing. He becomes angry on Lan Xichen's behalf because Lan Xichen obviously isn't fine and the one who did this is Jin Guangyao.
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Once Jin Guangyao is finally subdued, Nie Huaisang also catches and supports Lan Xichen when he starts to fall.
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And yet all the while Lan Xichen continues to treat Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao exactly the same, even though Nie Huaisang has been trying to help him and stand up for him (quite literally in that last case) while Jin Guangyao just confessed to all these crimes and tried to kill everyone in the room a moment ago.
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But the rub is that Lan Xichen is the only one of these three who shows no emotional response to Nie Mingjue's name or to his arrival. Jin Guangyao says Da-ge with horror while Nie Huaisang says Dage with grief.
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Lan Xichen not only never says Nie Mingjue/Dage's name, but he never looks at or turns toward the coffin. Despite being shown as right-handed, Lan Xichen uses his left hand to give Nie Huaisang the medicine, which prevents his body from facing toward the coffin, which prevents him from facing what Nie Huaisang is clearly crying over: Nie Mingjue is dead, he has become a resentful fierce corpse, and the one who did this is Jin Guangyao.
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Whereas Nie Huaisang had asked Lan Xichen how he was feeling, Lan Xichen avoids empathizing with him at this vital moment. Lan Xichen skips any words of comfort or conversation by just handing him pain medication when physical pain is clearly not what ails Nie Huaisang.
But when Nie Huaisang tries to talk to him anyway, Lan Xichen at first seems to understand what Nie Huaisang is implying when he looks away to Jin Guangyao...
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Except then Lan Xichen sighs and walks away without a word, startling Nie Huaisang, who is now left alone with absolutely no one around to support him.
And when Lan Xichen, who has still not acknowledged Nie Mingjue's physical state or Nie Huaisang's emotional one but is clearly acknowledging Jin Guangyao's, looks at Nie Huaisang again, his request is this: "Huaisang, give me the medicine" so we can ease Jin Guangyao's pain.
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Lan Xichen won't talk to Nie Huaisang about what should be their mutual grief, but he will ask Nie Huaisang to help him care for the man who did all this? He will ask Nie Huaisang to leave the side of Nie Mingjue's coffin to bring Jin Guangyao medicine??
Lan Xichen was nice to the Nie brothers, but in the end he was not kind to either one of them...
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i-platypus · 10 months
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You know what... *inhales deeply*
You can be proud of something and still think critically about it.
You can celebrate how far you've come, while still recognizing how far you have to go.
What you don't get to do is make other people feel bad for taking a moment to appreciate something because you think you're so much smarter than everyone else...
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my-weird-heart · 22 days
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iidsch · 4 months
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can you imagine if someone said that they are severely depressed and the only way to feel better is to hunt endangered animals for sport? like we would all agree that this person shouldn't do that just because it's the only thing that makes them happy and that maybe they should a. go to therapy and b. find something less harmful, right? well i just saw someone said they use ai art bcs they are disabled and cant draw anymore so-
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defeatdespair · 1 year
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A very astonishing place
Drew was thrilled to look at the world from behind a waterfall.Westlake Park Fountain, near Pike Place Market, Seattle, 1993 “If you can sustain your interest in what you’re doing, you’re an extremely fortunate person. What you see very frequently in people’s professional lives, and perhaps in their emotional life as well, is that they lose interest in the third act. You sort of get tired, and…
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myfictionaldreams · 3 months
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Subspace // Batboys x Fem!Reader
Summary: Azriel introduces Rhysand and Cassian to Subspace, with your help, of course.
A/N: Please make sure to read the tags before reading. Specifically for the breathplay aspect, as it's nearly to the point of passing out. This is also a reminder that this is a work of fiction and not a way to teach fetishes; if I have described anything wrong, then I apologise; this is just my interpretation of a specific scenario. It is not real. Please stay safe out there if trying different kinks, only practice with those you trust!
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, fluff, Polyamory, Mates, creampie, size kink, dom/sub undertones, rough sex/oral, restraints, praise kink, masturbation, subspace (!), discussion of safe words, multiple orgasms (!), crying, overstimulation, fingering, breathplay (!!), nearly passing out, cum eating, past emotional abuse (ex), aftercare
Words:6.4 k
my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link
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Unsure as to who was louder with their orgasmic cries, you or Cassian, as he pumps you full with his seed, the pulse of his cock matching the time of your fluttering cunt. Not only was Cassian’s cum coating your inners, mixing with your slick, but also that of his High Lord, who had thoroughly filled you moments before. A steady creamy puddle had been dripping out of your delicate hole and was saturating the satin bedsheets beneath.
It was a beautiful sight to Cassian as he tried to catch his breath, staring down at where you were both still connected as his firm hands clenched around your thighs where he was currently pressing your legs so far back that your knees and ears almost touched.
You always mused that you thought he looked like a God when he looked like this. Yes, others who had witnessed your mate on the battlefield, in charge of his High Lord's armies and defeating the enemies, was a sight to behold and often had people whispering for the Mother.
You agreed with this astonishment, but when seeing him like this, naked, muscles flexing from the exertion, a sweaty sheen over his body that caused his hair to stick to his face and the pure dominance that radiated from his energy. Cassian was beautiful, as was each of your mates, but with his cock currently still stretching you full, there was no one else on your mind but him.
Cassian’s full mouth twisted into an all-knowing, arrogant smirk as he gazed down at your lust-filled eyes ravishing his body.
“I’m surprised you’re still conscious after that; you must really be in a mood”, he jests with an eyebrow raised, the scar running through it moving with the movement. You’d have laughed and agreed with him if you had the energy. These ‘moods’ that he referred to was the polite way your mates described you being unfathomably horny.
Of course, you wanted your mates every second that there was air in your lungs, but sometimes it would become so overwhelming your skin felt too tight, heart palpations, tremble in your fingers that would settle until one of their bodies was touching yours. Rhysand reassured that it was expected to feel this way whilst newly mated, and you had not one but three mates - possibly a joke played to you by the Cauldron - so it was rational for your body's reactions to be heightened.
That didn’t make it any easier as you fucked each of them to multiple orgasms and only felt sated after reaching a new unconscious state. You were close too, but not close enough as you continued to admire Cassian, from how his beautiful wings stretched out behind him to how his tongue swiped over his bottom lip, moistening them for a moment before he dipped lower.
The kiss was heated and messy, saliva and sweat mixing on your tongues as they stroked together. A flicker of joy warmed in the centre of your chest as you could finally run your fingers through his damp hair, tucking the strands behind his rounded ears so you could see his face without the shadows.
Each of your legs was carefully lowered on either side of his body so that his chest pressed against yours. His powerful arms now rested beside your head so that he could stroke the back of his knuckles against your cheeks.
The affection and love he was projecting were the opposite reactions to moments ago when he was pounding into you like it was his latest mission. After Rhysand had teased and pinned you to the bedpost, making you orgasm until your knees trembled and he had to carry you to the bed where he finally came inside of you, Cassian had chuckled that he wasn’t sure you could handle him with the fucked out expression on your face.
You smirked and instructed him to fuck as hard as possible. Cassian never backed down from a challenge and did just this, leaving you exhausted and dreamy.
“Cauldron, I fucking love you”, Cassian pants into your mouth, the warmth of his breath tickling your neck as he kisses his way to the sensitive area below your ear.
“I love you too, " you sigh in contentment, fingers lowering over his powerful shoulders, causing him to shiver as you neared his sensitive wings.
As his lips hovered over the shell of your pointed ear, he whispered, “Do you really think you can handle my brother's cock?”
You can’t help the giggle that bursts from you, wishing you could stroke Cassian’s ego and say you were too tired for the last of your mates, but that would be a complete and utter lie.
“Oh, I know she can, can’t you, my love?” Azriel's deep voice comes from behind Cassian, who observes you closely. The male hovering over you turned to look at his friend over his shoulder, but Azriel continued to glance at you as his wing twitched, indicating Cass to move.
With one last kiss to your cheek, the warmth and weight of Cassian crawled from your body, meaning the setting sun was now directly beaming into your eyes, causing you to try to bury your face into the pillow beneath your head. “What can I say? I’m greedy for you all”, you insisted with a sigh, smiling to yourself but attempting to keep your voice quiet after seeing the windowless arches to the sun.
You were pretty sure all of Veleris had heard you being fucked by your mates, and every time you remembered that there were no windows in your home and only the sheer curtains flowing in the breeze, you attempted to keep the noise down. This only meant that your mates’ attempts to make you cry out in euphoria improved tenfold.
“Insatiable you are indeed”, growled the voice of the male who had been quietly watching the three of you interact. Rhysand’s usually perfectly combed hair was thoroughly ruffled from and sticking to his temple from where you’d been running your fingers through it earlier in the afternoon. Your eyes connected with his; the usual brightness that gleamed with the violet colour seemed clouded to a near-pitch-black colour of pure night as he admired his mate being thoroughly worshipped on the bed.
You were thankful the three of them were so close, Brothers in a way that close childhood friends were. Their possessive tendencies were always there, growling or baring their teeth at one another when they’d decided it was enough touching. However, most of the time, they were patient, more content with the fact that you were feeling happy and thoroughly pleasured. On the occasions where all three of them touched you simultaneously, it was more fun than you could handle most days due to the manhandling and dominance, but that’s always what made it more fun.
Today was not one of those days, though, as you admired your handsome High Lord as he stroked his thick cock slowly, those dark eyes searching over your body and resting on the puddle that was growing beneath your cunt.
Smiling over at him, Rhysand’s lips twitched into a soft gaze, the speed of his hand increasing as the joy on your face increased his arousal. For a moment, you contemplated trying to crawl over to him, kneel on the floor and offer to keep his cock warm with your mouth, but the growing shadow forming at the end of the excessively large bed captured your focus entirely. 
You’d thought for a moment that Azriel’s shadows had been the object to block out the sun from blinding your vision, but a quick glance showed you that it was his wing, which meant a deep red hue now covered your body from the sun beaming through the membrane of his wing.
An ice-cold breeze circled your ankles, dragging your attention away from Azriel as his shadows formed into pairs of hands, trapping your legs in their spread position. Licking your lips in anticipation, you attempted to sit up and reach for Az, but the shadows grew in size, skimming over your sides and adding pressure to your shoulders until you were lying back down. The pressure remained over your shoulders, and further hands firmly gripped around your wrists so that they were pinned to your side. There was no getting out of the hold you were now captured within, and as your pulse began to pound within your chest, a delicate caress against your cheek fluttered by as the shadows tried to calm away your anxieties.
Azriel watched you closely, from the way your breathing rate increased as anticipation and adrenaline began to pound through your veins to the way more thick white cum dripped out of your cunt with the movements.
The Shadowsinger’s head tilted to the left as he asked, “Do you remember what we discussed earlier?” Azriel could have been perceived as the opposite if Cassian had looked like a God earlier. The setting sun beamed around his body, causing a light aura over his outline, but the front of his body darkened into a shadow so that you couldn’t see his handsome face. Power rolled off of him in waves as he waited for your answer.
Your mouth became suddenly dry, making it difficult to form words, so you simply nodded yes in response.
“Wait, what did you talk about earlier?” Cassian asks as he heaves his bulky body into the spare seat on the opposite side of Rhysand. Your eyes flicked to him for a second, noting the fact that his cock was still very much hard and now glistening in your juices. Cassian spread his legs and took the object of your desire in hand, beginning to stroke slowly, his balls tightening due to the action.
You didn’t answer, not wanting to discuss what had been talked about earlier. Azriel took a step closer to the bed, not taking his eyes off you for a second, as he casually remarked, “You’ll see. "
“You know, it’s not nice to keep secrets from your High Lord, " Rhys says quietly, his eyes flicking to Azriel with the underlying command that laced his words.
“All you need to know is that we have trust between the four of us. I know what I’m doing, and our sweet mate knows what’s doing and has trust. Isn’t that right, Love?”
“Yes, I trust you. All of you, " you say confidently, gripping the sheets beneath you until your knuckles strain.
Azriel nods, moving closer to the bed's end as his shadows pin your body down. “And what else do you need to tell me?” Azriel asks.
“If I want you to stop, I shake my head, say red, or tap twice” As you explained, you made the motion, tapping against the bed and shaking your head no.
“Good girl”, Az praises, his deep tone causing sparks of arousal to heat in your pussy as you attempted to rub your thighs together to ease some of the tension, but the shadows kept your legs separated.
Cassian’s fist stopped moving as he looked between you and Azriel and asked, “Are you sure I don’t need to be worried if we’re talking about safe worlds?” 
“It’s fine”, you answer in place of Az. “I wanted to try this and didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, which you two are making with the silent conversation I know you’re having, so please, just have some trust that this is something that I want, and it’s safe”. Cassian at least had the decency to look embarrassed, having been caught talking to Rhysand mind-to-mind. However, the High Lord just continued to glance between his Shadowsinger and you with uncertainty. 
A flick of coolness strokes down your sternum, and a shadow spirals over your skin. Azriel continues to use the darkness to praise you with subtle touches.
Cass leans further back into the chair until it groans under the strain of his powerful body. “Fine, fine. I’ll shut my big mouth”, he explains with a grin, his fingers tightening around his cock once more.
You were too busy admiring the drip of precum that had formed at the tip of Cass’ cock that you’d not noticed that Azriel was finally on the bed until his ice-cold scarred fingers trailed up the sensitive area of your inner thigh.
“I’ve been counting, you know”, Azriel casually mentions under his breath.
“Counting?” you ask, confused about what he was referring to.
Azriel settles between your knees; with him having moved closer, you could see him in all of his glory, the smooth, perfectly formed muscles over his body, the black swirls of both ink and shadows that ran over his skin and those captivating hazel eyes that seemed even darker than Rhys’.
“How many times you’ve came. I’ve been counting. Even the little one, you didn’t verbalise as Rhys took you from behind. Now, usually, at this point, you’ve had so many. I know you’re only one or two away from passing out, but that’s not our plan for today, is it?”
Even though your cheeks flood with warmth at his truth, you still shake your head, wishing you could reach up for him. Azriel smirked cooly down at you as his hands began to smooth over your stomach, higher until cupping your breasts, his finger and thumb pinching your pebbled nipples, causing you to moan and try and arch into the touch.
“My greedy, greedy girl. Is it not enough that both of my brothers have made you cum all of those times already?”
“I need you” you gasp breathlessly at his rough touches as he continues to play with your already sensitive nipples.
“And I need you”, he says earnestly, and you couldn’t deny the whimper that left your throat at his words. “What do you want first, fingers, mouth or cock?”
“Cock”, you say without a hint of hesitation but are unable to look him in the eye at the use of the crude word, which also earned a hearty laugh from Rhys.
Azriel’s hand's massage further up your body until he's covering you completely, almost in the same position that Cass had been, as his fingers cup around your jaw and hips slot between your thighs.
“My pretty girl can have my cock”, Azriel muses as he lowers his lips to hover just over yours, not closing the gap entirely as you try and lean up to capture his mouth, but he teases by staying an inch away.
You’re soon distracted by your cunt once more, stretching to accommodate your sizeable mate, particularly Azriel. A moment passed when he allowed you to collect your breath before his restraint was released.
He fucked you with long, powerful thrusts that, if you weren’t already being held down to the bed, you probably would have shifted up into the headboard with how hard his hips slammed into yours. Those lips of his that you had been desperate to kiss finally closed the gap as well, absorbing all your begs and moans for more. The restraints around your wrists released but only for a moment as Az eased your hands above your head, holding your crossed-over wrists in one hand as his other squeezed and held onto your hip for stability.
The dominance of his hold was similar to how Cass and Rhys had held you, but there was just something else when it came to Az; whether it be his shadows or the way he paid such close attention to your body, he seemed to be able to bring you right to the edge in no time at all.
Pulling your lips back from his for a second, you gasped, “I-” Your words failed with the need to tell him you want to orgasm, but he already knows.
“Cum for me”, he demands, not slowing with his fucking. Your cunt tightened around his girthy cock, squeezing in flutters until you were squeezing your eyes closed and forgetting to breathe.
The hand on your hip moved to your throat, wrapping around it, pressing slightly but not enough to stop you breathing as he ordered, “Cum again”. 
You weren’t sure whether it was a shadow or the specific way he was rolling his hips, but your clit was being massaged in time with his thrusts, and you were just about ready to explode. One orgasm led to another without a break in between, and with the previous orgasms that you’d already experienced, Azriel was right that something seemed to switch as you reached your level of exhaustion. 
“You look so beautiful when you're cumming on my cock. Want to know how I’ve been keeping count of your orgasms? When you cum, your eyes glaze over for just a second, like you’re so lost in pleasure that you leave your body and then come back, but feeling how tight your cunt is gripping me right now is just a bonus”.
Hearing his words and grunts had you in a state of pure bliss, wishing even more that your arms were free to hold onto some part of his body. Your mouth opens to let out a mewling moan, biting your bottom lip as you try to remain focused on Az.
“I know it’s a lot for you to deal with. Love, do you need to use your words?”
“No, please don’t stop”, you demand, trying to roll your hips to match his movements, but the weight on top of your body pinned that area of you down.
“Good girl. Want to cum together? I know you can do it again for me; I know you’re sensitive, but let’s cum together, my love”, he groans as he finishes his demands as he watches your eyes glaze and then roll back as your cunt begins to squeeze him tightly in bursts as you came again.
Azriel’s wings flared even further, nearly knocking Cassian and Rhys as he came with a heavy grunt and thrust, stilling so that every drop emptied inside of you until there was no room left, and it began to trickle out to join the puddle of your other two mates on the sheets below.
Soft lips caressed your cheek as Az praised you with kind words, “You did so well for me”. He moved lower, exploring your throat, collarbones, sternum, over your belly button and only then did you realise what his plans were. “I’m not done with you yet”.
The shadows release your ankles so that your mate can grip your legs and press your thighs back, baring your thoroughly fucked, pulsing, cum filled cunt to him. Az growls as he delves his tongue deep within, feeling the lingering pulses of your overstimulated walls, the softness that had slightly swollen from the amount of fucking you’d been doing.
Even though you released a guttural scream, back arching as far as you could reach, his warm tongue was a welcome sensation, soothing the ache. Your arousal also burned in your core at the thought of Azriel eating all the different concoctions of seed still spilling out, but he only groaned in pleasure at the taste. 
You were enjoying the feeling of his tongue trying to empty your pussy of juices with a flick and curl of the muscle, but as he moved p to your hypersensitive, swollen and throbbing clit, the fire and burning returned as he circled the nub slowly.
“Ah!” you cry out as your eyes clench close, attempting to close your legs, but he held them firmly open.
“Eyes on me”, Azriel demands, looking up at your face closely to look for signs if it's too much or if you’re doing any sort of sign for him to stop.
“Please!” you beg, eyes widening as you make sure to look at him lying with his face between your legs, his hair sticking up, and once more, your hands itched to stroke through the strands. You weren’t entirely sure what you were begging for, but as he continued with the slow circling of your clit with his tongue and the burning subsided and was replaced with the tightening within your pussy, you knew you were going to cum again. The thought frankly scared you with how many you’d had already.
“I know you can do it”, he encourages as his wet tongue returns to your hole as his cold thumb presses your clit. Tears had begun to line your eyes, streaking down your cheeks as you came with a cry, your entire body trembling and muscles aching from the amount of tensing you’d been doing for what seemed like hours now.
Your hearing was turning fuzzy, so when Rhys deeply groaned as he came over his chest from watching you orgasm so hard, it sounded like he was in another room, almost like cotton wool had been forced into your ears.
“It’s too much, " you hiccup, wishing you could wipe away the tears wetting the pillow beneath your head.
Azriel tried to sound as sympathetic as possible as he looked up at you, kissing your thigh that was once more being held back by shadows, “I know, my love, but only a few more times. You can do it”. You cry out once more as he begins to lower his face back to your pussy but pauses just as two of his fingers circle your hole. “Remember what we talked about?” Nodding your head in response whilst maintaining eye contact, he continued, “You’re in control of the situation, understand?”
“Yes, I understand”, you utter whilst taking a deep breath, trying to calm your cries. His two fingers enter you slowly at first, easing and out before a third one joins. Usually, it would take you some time to adjust to the size of his fingers, but after the sizeable cocks, you didn’t need any prep for the three fingers.
Az moved them with speed, curling to stroke against that beautiful spot that had stars beaming in your eyesight which only heightened as his lips sealed around your already overstimulated clit, and he sucked. He knew exactly what he was doing, and with each orgasm that came, the response was more exaggerated from you, and the time between them decreased. You were pretty sure if he continued, you would just be having one single orgasm that went on and on until you inevitably passed out.
Just when you're tensing all over, cunt tightening around his three fingers, did he move in with the next and final step of his plan. Azriel's icey, scarred hand wrapped around your nose and mouth. It was a relief at first to have something cool against your hot skin, but as you tried to suck in a breath as your orgasm neared closer, the panic set in.
It was what you had hoped for, to have the control taken away, but knowing that if you tapped your fingers or shook your head underneath his palm, it would stop. The thing was, you were already beginning to feel somewhat loopy from the orgasms that you didn’t want it to stop, which was why Azriel was doing this; he knew your body down the tiniest detail, especially with his shadows whispering away in his ear, counting your heartbeat.
The adrenaline only seemed to increase further as panic was doubling as you attempted to pull against the shadows around your wrists and thighs. The overwhelming pleasure between your lungs was the only thing that burned more than the need to breathe. You’re unsure what you need more, to cum or breath, but you’re only given one option, just as dark spots replaced the stars in your vision as you came around his fingers with an incredible squeeze of your walls around the digits.
Musky, sweated scented air filled your lungs desperately as his hand now cupped your cheek, supporting you as you tried to regain your full consciousness, but as Azriel continued to finger you, now at a slower pace, all you could think about was him and nothing more.
“That’s it- nice deep breaths for me. You’re doing so well for me. Did that feel good?” Az asks.
“Ye-Yes!” you stutter while trying to catch your breath. Your head lolls to one side while you nuzzle into his palm. Your eyes are entirely gazed at and unfocused, looking down at your mate.
“Good”, is all he says as he returns to sucking your clit and covering your mouth and nose again.
This time he had to tap your face a few times after you came to rouse you properly, but you were still greedily sucking air without an issue. However, now, Cassian and Rhys had stood, towering over the sides of the beds with concern, but arousal still evident across their beautiful faces.
“That’s a good girl. How do you feel?” Azriel asks, ignoring the two other males.
“Goo-Good. Good, " you say repeatedly, having only the energy and mental capacity to repeat the same words repeatedly.
You’re starting to feel a tingling sensation throughout your limbs, the edges of your sight blurring completely as your thoughts remain on how good you felt. Az watched you so closely that you weren’t sure he was blinking. “I know I can get you to cum one more time for me”.
However, before you can nod, you’re both interrupted by Rhysand growling, “Azriel. She’s had enough”.
“No, she hasn’t. I know she hasn’t. Just trust me. You can do this, can’t you, Love?” Azriel asks you.
Making sure to look him in the eye, you nod your head and say, “Yes”. Those special fingers of his begin curling with great speed once more as his tongue circles your throbbing clit.
You’re breathing heavily, screaming constantly until the air is cut off once more. Your lungs burn, your head is spinning, and all you can think of is cumming, begging silently to cum for Azriel, to be good for him, that you could do this, you could cum and show your other mates that Azriel was right.
As your orgasm rushes through you, your entire body does the opposite as it had been before. Instead of tensing, it went completely limp, eyes rolling back as your cunt continued to pulse and squeeze around his digits. When your eyes opened again, Azriel was half hovering above you, his fingers carefully easing out of your cunt, but you could hardly feel it as he tapped your cheeks a few times to bring you around more.
“I-I-I-I-I”, you mumbled incoherently as the shadows dispersed from your body entirely so you were no longer restrained.
“Shhh, you’re ok. You’re safe, Love, you’re ok”, Azriel whispers carefully as he begins to massage areas of your body to help you feel more, but it doesn’t help the complete and utter bliss settled through your mind and soul. It felt as if you were floating, and you never wanted to come back down again.
Azriel gave silent instructions to Rhysand, who shared these with Cassian as they stood beside the side of the bed, unsure if they should be ripping Azriel apart or helping their mate.
“Azriel”, Cassian warns, his entire body stiff and muscles flexing as he watches you blink heavily, body twitching with uncontrollable movements. Even though you were sucking in deep breaths, it seemed like you couldn’t catch your breath again.
“She’s fine, aren’t you?” Azriel asks, stroking away the flowing tears that you hadn’t noticed had started again down your cheeks.
“Ye-Ye-Yes. Yes, Yes”, you say, nodding tiredly.
“Are you sure?” Cass whispers, kneeling on the side of the bed and reaching for your hand, noticing that you couldn’t even squeeze his hand back as he held it carefully.
“Just give her some time; her head is all over the place at the moment, but it’s exactly where she wanted to be”, the Shadowsinger explained under his breath, still watching you very closely.
“Cu-Cum, cum”, you mutter, words still somewhat muffled from how heavy your tongue felt in your mouth.
“What’s that,  Love?” Azriel asks, “You want to cum again?”
“Y-Yes”, you nod slowly, still staring blankly up at the ceiling.
Azriel smiles down at you. “So good for me. I think you’ve had enough for today. Just take some slow, deep breaths for me” You follow his instructions, taking slow, deep breaths until you don’t feel breathless anymore. As exhaustion begins to take over, your eyes close, but those scarred hands tap gently against your cheek to keep them open; you can’t even feel the temperature of his cold hands.
“I need you to keep your eyes on me. I don’t want you to fall asleep in this headspace, okay? Just like we talked about. "
“Ok”, you say just once, looking up at him but not seeing at all.
“What headspace? Did you break my mate, Azriel?” Rhysand snarls as he, too, kneels on the side of the bed, his wings extended to match his Brothers. The darkness of night crawls from his tense shoulders as he reaches forward to run a hand over the arm and leg closest to him.
“She’s not broken; she’s just floating. Isn’t that right?” You nod, looking only at Azriel. Cass sighs through his nose, having not had the answers given to him right away, as Az continues to give only half sentences. “I’ll explain in a minute, but I just need you to be there for her as she properly comes back”.
It takes several moments of tense massaging and silent raging for the boys as they watch you tiredly blink, the unfocused gaze and dreamy stare slowly hardening until you’re actually looking at your surroundings, shivering at the coolness of Azriel’s hands as they travel down your ribs.
Floating was the only way you could describe the experience like you had miraculously grown your own pain of Iillyrian wings and were flying through the clouds without care. Even the soft sheets beneath you couldn’t be felt when you were in that high headspace. Not even your name could be drawn out of you if asked, but slowly, with the help of your mate's touches and scents and Rhysand caressing the wall in your mind, you finally topple back to reality.
Eyes flicking between your three mates, two of which looked like they were bracing for war,  you finally gave a tentative smile, feeling your cheeks warming back up from their intense gazes. 
“There’s my girl”, Cass praises as he squises your wrist gently.
“Hey”, you whisper croakily, throat aching from all the screaming you’d been doing.
Azriel lowers himself, kissing your lips carefully once before maintaining intense eye contact. At this close proximity, you can see the hints of green throughout his hazel eyes. “You’re safe with us; you know that, right?”
“Yes, I know. I feel safe”, you reassure him, trying to lift your hand to caress his cheeks, but your arms are still too quick.
“Good, we’re going to bath together and clean you up. Then I think we need to explain to these two what’s happened”, Azriel explained as you nodded in understanding and closed your eyes, but a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose had you opening them again as his gaze softened, “I still need you to keep your eyes open. I don’t think you’re completely back yet, so no sleeping just yet.”
Before you can nod in understanding, two arms are carefully shifting beneath your body. One hook is under your knees, and the other supports your back as Rhysand lifts you to his chest, your head carefully laying across his shoulder as he walks the two of you into the bathing room.
Nuzzling into his warmth, he rested the two of you in the vast-sized bath and began to run the water hot, letting it slowly creep up your body as you sat between his muscular legs. Rhys held you close, ensuring that your eyes remained open and on his. The violet colour returned to the brightness you were used to as he continued to massage your limbs back to life.
Splashing from behind you indicates that the other two had joined in the water as they both hissed at the heat soaking into their muscles. Az takes your legs into his lap, massaging carefully over your calves as Cass takes hold of a hand, kissing the back of it and linking your fingers together.
Everyone’s attention then turns to Azriel as he begins to explain. “It’s called subspace”.
“Sub? Space?” Cassian repeats slowly, as if trying to sound out the new phrase but is entirely unsure.
“Yes”, continued Az, “It’s related to hormones and an emotional state where an individual becomes so lost within the moment, almost like a trance, that they aren’t able to make decisions for themselves and experience side effects like feeling the sensation that they are floating or euphoric. Similar to an out-of-body experience or a high. It can come from a physical response like shown today or an emotional response depending on how submissive the individual is”.
Rhysand seemed to tense further after the explanation, so you tried to lean into his body more as he began to talk. “Right, ok.  So, this is something you’ve experienced before?”  he asks, tilting his head down to look at you.
“Yes”, you say stoically, now not looking him in the eye as your fingers curl and grip Cassian, as the sensations return to you. “You know the male that I was with years before I met any of you? He um- He,” you were struggling to find the correct phases to say as you could feel the tension suddenly thick in the air at the mention of your previous lover.
Thankfully, Azriel continued the explanation for you, but you didn’t miss the stern tone of his voice. “With subspace, it’s important for the one experiencing it to have some sort of support. As I’ve explained, it’s to consent or look after yourself when going through a high like this. What my love is trying to explain is that this fucker used to leave her like how she was and either go drinking or fall asleep. She’d be on her own and-” Azriel blows out a long, steady breath as he closes his eyes, the shadows beginning to shake around him with the increase of his anger.
Sitting up further in Rhys’ lap, you continued the discussion. “I like getting to the point of being in subspace. It feels so freeing, and I trust you all to look after me; that’s why I spoke to Az first, just to make sure that you’d even want to try it, and I know it can look scary. But with my previous partner, he would leave me by myself, and I’d fall asleep, and when I woke up, I would have this impending doom sensation. I’ve read that it still has something to do with hormones. Still, I would feel so low and depressed without the support, almost like I was going to die with how low I felt. Still, after a few days, I would feel back to normal”.
You wanted to be open with them all, but seeing them all holding back some restraint with the anger they were experiencing, you knew you needed to pull them back before they went on the hunt.
“Please, for the love of the Mother, tell me this fuckers name”, Cassian demands lowly. It was your only secret, the name of the male you’d once been with and had been emotionally scarred from. You were unsure as to why, whether it be fear or to refrain from violence, but you had never told any of them the name.
Shaking your head no, you collapse further into Rhys, which causes some tension to leave his body as he holds you close with an arm around your waist and his lips caressing the back of your head.
“You know, I could just slip into your mind and find out”, Rhyand whispers, stating something that both Cass and Az were wondering.
“Yes, you could, but you won’t, " you confidently say. It was the one wish you had made him promise upon becoming mate- no creeping through your mind, no matter what. Rhys kisses your head again to confirm that he wouldn’t do this.
“So this subspace, " Cassian interrupts the anger by changing the subject to something you were thankful for. Are you sure it feels good? I thought you had passed out earlier, which frightened me, to be truthful with you. "
Your fingers squeeze his once more as you look over at him and give him a reassuring smile, “It feels amazing and a little addicting to feel like that and like I said, I trust the three of you more than anyone. Usually, it doesn’t take long for me to fall into subspace, but it’s been a while; I think I’ve put some barriers up in my mind to stop going to that place because of my past”.
“And luckily for her, I’ve seen this sort of thing before”, Azriel explains.
“So how do we make sure she doesn’t feel awful like she did with that fucker?” Cass asks with a subtle growl.
“Aftercare”, Az explains with a shrug of his shoulders, “Exactly like you have been doing already. Making sure she stays awake and feels safe, food and water helps. Talking to her, holding her, and warm baths are always good”.
You gently smile with Azriel as he lists what you cherish most about aftercare, but Cassian’s next question causes you to nearly bite your tongue.
“And the choking? To the point where she nearly passed out. Was that part of the subspace, too?”
Azriel smirks cockily as you giggle and hide your face in Rhys’ chest. “No, she just wanted to try that out. It’s called breathplay. It’s not for everyone; I’ve had some experience with it. Can’t just go around choking people until they pass out like a brute, Cass”.
The water sways as your mate shoves Az in the shoulder.
The chest you’re learning on begins to vibrate as Rhys muses, “Guess even after 500 years of living, I still have lots to learn”. You hum in response, exhaustion fully settling into your body now as you wish to close your eyes so you look over at Az,
“Can I sleep yet?”
“Not yet. I need you to eat and drink something first. Stay here; I’ll get you something, " he explains as he kisses your knee, lowers your feet into Cass’s lap, and climbs out of the bath. You sigh into the embrace of your other mates.
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spirits-having-flown · 5 months
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“matthew, it is with heavy heart i say goodbye. the times we had together are honestly among the favorite times of my life. it was an honor to share the stage with you and to call you my friend. i will always smile when i think of you and i’ll never forget you. never. spread your wings and fly brother, you’re finally free. much love. and i guess you’re keeping the 20 bucks you owe me.” - matt leblanc
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“i am so grateful for every moment i had with you matty and i miss you every day. when you work with someone as closely as i did with matthew, there are thousands of moments i wish i could share. for now here's one of my favorites. to give a little backstory, chandler and monica were supposed to have a one night fling in london. but because of the audience's reaction, it became the beginning of their love story. in this scene, before we started rolling, he whispered a funny line for me to say. he often did things like that. he was funny and he was kind. 🤍🕊️" - courteney cox
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“oh boy this one has cut deep... having to say goodbye to our matty has been an insane wave of emotions that i've never experienced before. we all experience loss at some point in our lives. loss of life or loss of love. being able to really sit in this grief allows you to feel the moments of joy and gratitude for having loved someone that deep. and we loved him deeply. he was such a part of our dna. we were always the 6 of us. this was a chosen family that forever changed the course of who we were and what our path was going to be. for matty, he knew he loved to make people laugh. as he said himself, if he didn't hear the 'laugh' he thought he was going to die. his life literally depended on it. and boy did he succeed in doing just that. he made all of us laugh. and laugh hard. in the last couple weeks, i've been pouring over our texts to one another. laughing and crying then laughing again. i'll keep them forever and ever. i found one text that he sent me out of nowhere one day. it says it all. matty, i love you so much and i know you are now completely at peace and out of any pain. i talk to you every day... sometimes i can almost hear you saying "could you BE any crazier?" rest little brother. you always made my day... ❤️🕊️” - jennifer aniston
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“matty, thank you for ten incredible years of laughter and creativity. i will never forget your impeccable comic timing and delivery. you could take a straight line of dialogue and bend it to your will, resulting in something so entirely original and unexpectedly funny it still astonishes. and you had heart. which you were generous with, and shared with us, so we could create a family out of six strangers. this photo is from one of my favorite moments with you. now it makes me smile and grieve at the same time. i imagine you up there, somewhere, in the same white suit, hands in your pockets, looking around— "Could there BE any more clouds?” “ - david schwimmer
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“shot the pilot, friends like us, got picked up then immediately, we were at the nbc upfronts. then... you suggested we play poker and made it so much fun while we initially bonded. thank you for that. thank you for making me laugh so hard at something you said, that my muscles ached, and tears poured down my face every day. thank you for your open heart in a six way relationship that required compromise. and a lot of "talking." thank you for showing up at work when you weren't well and then, being completely brilliant. thank you for the best 10 years a person gets to have. thank you for trusting me. thank you for all I learned about grace and love through knowing you. thank you for the time i got to have with you, matthew.” - lisa kudrow
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friends cast remembers matthew perry 🤍🕊️
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hisui-dreamer · 11 months
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love will find a way
Characters: Riddle, Deuce, Azul, Vil
Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?
Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions, bot proofread
Word count: 3.6k+
Notes: for cohesiveness sake, all the name ideas are in japanese. if it makes you uncomfortable, you can imagine that reader is japanese hehe
Part 1✧Part 3✧Part 4✧Masterlist
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A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.
Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.
On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—
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Yoshikazu (義和) with 義 meaning "righteous" and 和 meaning "harmony, peace"
your son had straight strawberry-red hair and greyish-blue eyes that reminded you of the stormy skies
Riddle's strong belief in upholding the rules, as well as his desire for peace and order, made the name perfect for your boy
he strives for perfection in everything he does, and has a strong attention to detail and dislikes anything that falls short of his high standards
he is slightly shy with strangers, but he's always polite and tries to be helpful
he likes to act mature so you won’t have to worry too much about him, but he not so secretly craves your affection and praise
if you don’t give him a goodnight kiss, he’ll stare at you with puppy eyes thinking he did something wrong
under your guidance, he’s actually rather helpful in the kitchen, although he can easily get upset when he thinks he did a poor job or wasn’t precise enough
in those moments, you often show him that not everything has to be absolutely perfect
see? the strawberry tart still tastes delicious, right?
he’s also rather quick at learning, and when you’re unsure about the magic concepts or formulae in your foggy memory, let him work at it for a bit and somehow, boom, he’s solved it
he tries to hide it, but his eyes are sparkling with admiration when you told him about the dedicated and fair man Riddle is, and he really wants to meet him
and through his hard work, he teleports the two of you into a well-lit and organised office, with stacks of papers placed neatly on the desk
Riddle sits at the desk, his face more angular having lost his baby fat, but his gaze remained as intense as it always had
Riddle meticulously reviews a case file, his focus unwavering as he flips through the pages. Suddenly, a swirl of iridescent light materialises in the corner of the room, catching his attention. He pushes himself away from the desk, knocking his chair backwards with a thud as he stands up, watching in disbelief as you emerge from the ethereal portal, a small boy clinging onto you tightly.
"My Rose…is it...is it truly you?" Riddle's voice wavers with a combination of astonishment and longing. His stormy grey eyes lock onto your gaze, searching for confirmation that this was indeed real.
His heart swells with a surge of emotions, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He takes hesitant steps forward, closing the distance between you. As he reaches out a trembling hand, he hesitates for a fraction of a second before wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace, pulling you close.
"I've missed you so much," Riddle whispers, his voice choked with emotion. "I've yearned for this moment, to hold you again, to see your face."
after the heartfelt reunion, Riddle leaves work early and takes a holiday, something he has never done before for reasons other than sickness
he takes the two of you back to his house and you spend some time catching up
he’s become a successful lawyer, having deviated from the path his mother had intended for him
that, along with his refusal to be in an arranged marriage by her will, has him basically disowned
but he’s happy with where he is in life, only he wished to find a love as fulfilling as the one he had with you
now that you’re back, Riddle does everything he can to support you in adjusting to life back with him
he’s super expressive and affectionate and savours every moment he has with you
he does get a little jealous of Yoshikazu getting all your affection, and this has resulted in all three of you sleeping together cuddled up
Riddle tries to learn how to cook because he can’t be worse than his son right??
wrong
but the two of them do get along really well, Riddle loves reading bedtime stories to Yoshikazu, and Yoshikazu tries so hard to stay awake till the end
Yoshikazu also loves visiting uncle trey’s bakery!
eventually, he might try to reconcile with his mother and have her meet the two of you, but his priority is on the two of you
Riddle's eyes show a mix of emotions, a kaleidoscope of love, regret, and gratitude. He bends down, his hands trembling, to meet Yoshikazu's gaze. A cascade of emotions surges through him as he realises the precious bond he had unknowingly missed out on.
"My child," Riddle whispers, his voice filled with awe and wonder. "I never imagined..."
Yoshikazu reaches out a tiny hand, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Riddle's heart melts as he gingerly takes his hand, feeling an overwhelming wave of love and protectiveness.
"Father?" Yoshikazu's voice was a gentle whisper, filled with innocence and trust.
Riddle's eyes shimmer with tears that threaten to spill over. He carefully extends his hand, allowing his small fingers to intertwine with his own.
"Yes," Riddle replies, his voice overflowing with tenderness. "I am honoured to be your father. I will protect you, guide you, and cherish you always, my precious bud."
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Koushi (功志) with 功 meaning "a success, a great achievement" and 志 meaning "purpose, will, determination, aspiration, ambition"
your son had sleek dark hair that reminded you of the night sky, and bright cyan eyes
Deuce placed great importance on personal growth and the pursuit of success, valuing hard work and the satisfaction that comes from achieving one's goals, so you implemented those values into your son's name
he takes his tasks and activities seriously and is motivated to excel in everything he does
but at the same time, he also struggles with being patient and occasionally becomes frustrated when things don't go his way
there are many times you’re trying to console him, and he’s just standing there, fists clenched and trying to hold back tears
when you rub the back of his head though, he melts and starts crying into your chest
he can be impulsive and mischievous, but once the high passes, he’s apologising and he really didn’t mean to hurt anyone or anything
just like his father, his favourite food is egg dishes, so it’s not difficult cooking for him
generally, he’s not picky and gobbles up anything you make him except vegetables
yeahh, the vegetables are going to need some convincing, and he’ll make a big show about how he hates the taste, but still reluctantly swallows his greens
he’s not the brightest, but he strives to be the best he can be, eagerly practising and studying magic concepts, though he faces some challenges in grasping complex concepts quickly
he became so curious when you told him how much his father valued hard work, asking question after question to learn more about him
and through trial and error, somehow, he managed to teleport you to a street of residential buildings, the fresh scent of roses filling your senses
and Deuce stood in shock in front of you, looking more mature and yet still possessing that dorky lovable presence
Deuce, donned in his crisp uniform, patrols the streets with a focused gaze. As he turns a corner, his eyes widen and his heart skips a beat. There, before him, stands the silhouette of a familiar figure, obscured by the shimmering waves of nostalgia, accompanied by a small boy.
"Prefect… I’m not dreaming, am I?" Deuce murmurs, his voice tinged with disbelief and a touch of vulnerability. His pulse quickens, and he takes a tentative step forward, his hands trembling with both trepidation and longing.
Tears well up in his eyes as you nod, a mixture of emotions playing across your face. The weight of your absence suddenly lifts, and without a second thought, Deuce closes the distance between you, his arms enveloping you in a tight embrace.
"You're here. You're really here," Deuce whispers, his voice choked with emotion. He presses his forehead against yours, savouring the moment and the warmth of your presence.
once Deuce has calmed down, he takes you back to his house, where he lives with his mom to take care of her more
Deuce has become a successful police officer, and he’s decided to work in his hometown to keep the neighbourhood safe for his mom
after a quick introduction to Mrs. Spade, she’s very happy to meet you and her grandson
though she does glare at Deuce for a bit given you had to raise Koushi alone
she immediately starts gushing over Koushi and how similar he is to Deuce when he was a kid
Koushi is a little confused, but you can tell he loves listening to his grandmother and hearing about his father as an infant
Deuce can’t just leave his job whenever he wants to, but he dedicates all of his free time to the two of you
after work, he’ll take Koushi on runs, and sometimes they’ll pick a bouquet of wildflowers from a nearby field to give to you and Mrs. Spade
on weekends, you often go on family outings, like visiting the aquarium, camping, or visiting old friends!
uncle ace is Koushi’s favourite, teaching him magic tricks and telling him all the embarrassing things Deuce did back in NRC
and though Deuce had never prepared himself for parenting, he’s doing his best and making sure the two of you are happy, just like he is with the family all together
Deuce breaks the embrace and drops to one knee, his eyes meeting the Koushi's. A mixture of awe and tenderness dances in his gaze as he extends a hand toward the small boy. "Hey there, little guy. I'm your dad. My name's Deuce. What’s your name?" he asks, his voice gentle.
Koushi steps forward, hesitantly reaching out to grasp Deuce's hand. "Koushi," he answers meekly. A spark of connection passes between them, a shared understanding and an unspoken bond.
Tears stream down his cheeks as he continues, his voice filled with a mix of joy and remorse. "Koushi, I'm sorry it took me so long, to be the father you deserved. But from this moment on, I promise you, I'll be there for every step of your journey. We'll make up for lost time together, yeah?"
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Akuru (渥瑠) with 渥 meaning "kindness, moisten" and 瑠 meaning "lapis lazuli"
your daughter had clear aquamarine eyes that reminded you of the sparkling ocean, and silver locks that curled naturally to frame her face
Azul had always adhered to the spirit of benevolence, so the name seemed perfect
she's quite a shy little girl, when she's in front of strangers, she'll ask you to carry her so she can hide her face in your neck
there's no way you can resist when she's staring at you with such bright eyes, her tiny arms reaching up for you to hold her
she's extremely greedy for affection just like Azul was once he let his guard down around you
she has the squishiest cheeks!!!
she also tends to observe and listen rather than being the centre of attention
but when she's alone with you, it's evident she inherited Azul's sharp intellect and has a natural aptitude for academics
you often told her about the brilliant man her father is, how hard he worked so he could become a version of himself he was proud of
the way her eyes sparkled when she heard about him reminded you of Azul's ambitious looks when he's making deals
incredibly talented at magic, she understood everything so quickly and it wasn't too long until you couldn't be much help to her anymore
but worry not, because she has brought the two of you back to your dearest lover by some accident in her experiments
Azul is sitting in a dimly lit office, his dark eye circles are evident, but he looked more beautiful than you had ever seen him
Azul sits at his desk fully engrossed in work, his quill gliding swiftly across the parchment. A sudden gust of magic sweeps through the air, causing Azul to stand in alarm, his eyes scanning the room for any signs of danger. But as the magical energy settles, his hand freezes mid-air, his eyes widening in disbelief as your figure emerges.
His breath catches in his throat, his heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. "It... can't be... Can it?", he whispers as he manoeuvres himself over to you, his legs trembling as if it was his first time on land.
You reach out to take his hand, your familiar warmth and presence casting away the doubt in him. His eyes well up with tears, and a radiant smile spreads across his face.
"Oh, Angelfish... You're here...", he cries as he pulls you closer, his arms wrapping tightly around you.
he's so emotional he can't stop crying
it's to the point where his tears are slightly inky
he wishes he was in his merform so he could hug the two of you properly at the same time
it's at this point jade and floyd bust into the room to see the three of you huddled together on the floor
the two of them start teasing Azul for being a crybaby, but you can tell they're genuinely happy for him
Azul, as he had planned back in NRC, had conquered all forms of business, forming an incredibly successful corporation
now that he has the two of you back though, he immediately takes a break from work so he can make up for the time lost
Azul's a bit awkward, and he's so afraid you've found someone new or don't love him anymore
but with time, and plenty of your affection, he's loving and comfortable and completely at ease with you, just like the old days
he uses this break to spend time together with you two as a family, going on family outings, discovering hobbies, etc.
takes the two of you to the coral sea to meet mama ashengrotto
oh she loves you and can't stop spoiling Akuru
he makes a lot of effort to be present in Akuru's life, and he wants nothing more than for her to be happy
and fortunately, Akuru is very comfortable with Azul, though it takes time for her to trust him on the same level as you
but you've got all the time in the world to love and grow with your dear family now
bonus: uncle jade and uncle floyd who always bring out the ambitious side of Akuru!
Azul's breath catches in his throat as he looks down at the small girl peeking from behind your legs, his heart swelling with a love he had never thought possible. Akuru's innocent eyes meet his, mirroring his own shades of blue.
"Hello, Akuru," he whispers, his voice filled with a mixture of tenderness and awe. He crouches down to her level, his eyes locked with hers. "I... I'm your father. It’s nice to meet you."
Akuru's small hand reaches out, hesitantly brushing against his cheek. The touch sends shivers down Azul's spine, his heart bursting with overwhelming emotions. Tears spill freely down his cheeks as his arms wrap around her fragile frame.
"I've missed so much... I'm so sorry," Azul says, his voice laced with remorse. Akuru nestles closer, burying her face in the crook of Azul's neck, as if instinctively seeking solace in the embrace of her father. "Oh, I promise you, my dear, I will make up for lost time. I will protect you, love you, and be the father you deserve."
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Misaki (望咲) with 望 meaning "ambition, hope, desire" and 咲 meaning "bloom, blossom, flourish"
your daughter had silky blonde, hair and violet eyes reminded you of the lavender plant Vil kept in his room
you knew through Vil's dedication towards beauty and his strictness that he values hard work and effort, and so you named your daughter hoping she would flourish in whatever ambitions she pursued
like her father, she carries herself with a certain regal air that’s beyond her age
she's incredibly strict with herself, though occasionally you'll have to tell her to relax a bit and be more carefree
she listens to you a lot though, she loves making her mommy proud!
and though she might put up a front and act confident with strangers, when she's alone with you, she's surprisingly docile and affectionate
she is enchanted by the media and drawn to acting, always reenacting scenes from movies or shows you watched with her
she asks for bedtime stories every night, but it’s more of the two of you doing a dramatic reading and playing around with character voices
she also loves to play around with different hairstyles and outfits, and even experimenting with your makeup
though she’s rather displeased with her lacklustre makeup skills, she loves it when you do her makeup for her, making her feel like a star
she’s incredibly smart and fast to pick up on the magical concepts, though she’s slower with practical magic
when you told her about the meticulous and dedicated man her father was, she was fascinated by how confident and strong he sounded
and with diligent practice, it isn’t long before she manages to teleport you to a well-lit room with a modern design
Vil is sitting on the couch studying his latest movie, his hair is in a messy bun and he is wearing glasses and he is the most beautiful person you have ever seen
As Vil stares at the television analysing his performance, the tranquillity of the moment is abruptly shattered by a sudden burst of light. His heart skips a beat as he turns towards the source, his eyes widening in disbelief. There, standing before him, is the person who had occupied his thoughts and dreams for the past years, with a sweet-looking child next to them.
"Is it really you, darling?" His voice trembles with a mixture of disbelief and overwhelming joy. He takes a hesitant step forward, his polished facade momentarily crumbling as he reaches out to confirm the reality of your presence.
Your eyes meet, and in that instant, a whirlwind of emotions surged through his being, threatening to overwhelm his senses. He swallows hard, trying to compose himself.  "It's... it's been so long," Vil's voice cracks with raw emotion, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I've missed you every day, every moment."
Vil is the most emotional you’ve ever seen him, even when you had bid each other farewell at the mirror, he had been more composed
but here he’s completely vulnerable and crying tears of joy
once he’s calmed down a bit, he immediately calls his manager to reschedule whatever plans he had because of ‘family emergencies’
since you left, vil has been completely invested in his acting career and has landed a few roles as the main character, though some of them were still villainous
he’s super affectionate and relaxed with you, always instinctively reaching out for you to confirm you’re really there
and he’s super cute with Misaki!! Misaki always goes to him for makeup and styling her hair, but she likes going to you for brushing her hair when it’s tangled
mini drama sessions at home where it’s the three of you playing out scenes from a fairytale
vil is the ‘only the best for my princess’ type of father
he’s very careful with outings so the paparazzi or the media won't just sabotage your family dates, he’s determined to spend quality time with his two darlings
takes you to meet papa schoenheit, who adores you for making vil so happy, and absolutely spoils Misaki with clothes and accessories
you’ll have to be the strict parent to make sure she’s not too spoiled
not to mention uncle rook who absolutely worships the ground she walks on and cannot resist her requests
Vil's gaze flickers to the child standing beside you, her innocent eyes mirroring his own. A rush of emotions washes over him, as he finally comprehends the magnitude of the moment. His voice trembles with tenderness as he kneels down, extending a hand towards her. "Is this... our child?" His voice holds a hint of awe and wonder, his heart swelling with a newfound sense of purpose.
Misaki's eyes widen, taking a tentative step forward to try and comprehend this newfound connection. "Are you like the daddies in the shows that come back to the family?" she asks, her voice tinged with innocence and wonder.
A brief look of confusion flashes by, before a warm smile graces Vil's lips as he reaches out, gently brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Yes, darling," he whispers, his voice filled with a mix of tenderness and determination. "I am here now, and I promise I'll never leave you. I will be there for you, guide you, and cherish every moment we share, just like the fathers in the shows."
Part 1✧Part 3✧Part 4✧Masterlist
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bluberryfields · 8 months
Text
This is what happens when you're raised by TV and trained in literary analysis
Beyond the crushing heartbreak of that finale, one thing in particular has stuck with me when I look at it in the context of S2 as a whole.
He lays out their relationship, "We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't."
He then turns his head away and says, "I mean, the last few years, not really."
He pauses here, facing the interior of the bookshop. Really looks it up and down.
Turns back, "And I would like to spend" before choking on his words and looks toward the window. He can't finish saying something like "And I would like to spend eternity with you" because that's too much, too fast, for both of them.
But it's that "last few years" bit that has firmly lodged itself in my very broken brain.
According to Gaiman, it's been "a few years" since the end of Season 1. Armageddon has been averted. Heaven and Hell have reluctantly retreated. Crowley and Aziraphale have been effectively cut loose from their "sides," leaving them to form their own side.
So at the start of Season 2, we get a glimpse of the “fragile existence” they have carved out for themselves. To me, the biggest difference that we see is how they exist together in front of others. Going to the coffee shop, the pub, and the other shops along the street that Aziraphale has lived on for over 200 years. And don’t forget how they act in front of Nina, Maggie, and sweet, dim Muriel.
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At the coffee shop, Aziraphale stammers a bit when Nina asks who Crowley is, but he still seems to have affection in his voice when he says, "We go back a long time."
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Compared to Shakespearian "He's not my friend! We've never met before. We don't know each other!" panic, this is an incredible difference.
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Of course, each time, Crowley is cool and cheeky and does nothing to indicate that they aren't a pair. Though, of course, he does deny it when Nina asks about Aziraphale being his side piece. “He’s not my bit on the side! He’s far too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side.” And refers to him as an “Angel [swallows]I know.”
When they go the pub, Crowley's joy at doing something together in public that they do not normally do is super cute, including his cheeky order for Aziraphale's sherry. Then, when bringing the drinks over to the socially trapped Aziraphale, he greets Mr. Brown with a truly adorable, "Hello" and a signature DT smile. Then upon hearing how “excited” Mr. Fell is to host the meeting, he looks down and says, “Oh? You astonish me.” while Aziraphale sips his sherry and squirms.
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We also watch as Crowley follows Aziraphale as he goes to each shop and talks to the owners about the meeting/secret ball. In theory, Crowley has no reason to tag along, and he certainly doesn’t help sway anyone who doesn’t want to/can’t go. He goofs around at the magic shop. He splays out on the bench, chin on hand, looking for all the world a husband waiting for his wife to pick out a dress at the department store. They are so married it’s ridiculous.
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Finally, their behavior in front of Muriel while inside their sanctuary. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale’s chair, somehow looking supremely comfortable on the old-fashioned furniture. He folds up those gloriously long limbs and presses himself as close as possible.
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He smiles and plays along with Aziraphale’s coaching of Muriel in her disguise. Calls him Angel and asks to speak in private. And at the end, during the awful wait while Aziraphale talks with The Metatron, Crowley cleans up the shop and tells Muriel that he and Aziraphale will need some “us” time after all this. No beating around the bush. 
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Without oversight, they can be openly together and happy. But Heaven just can’t let that happen. 
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moonstruckme · 2 months
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I’d love to see you write James and reader who’ve suffered the ‘never the right time’ trope, and finally, it’s the right time. It’s like so soft and just a moment of peace, like ‘finally, finally, it’s our time’. I have literally no ideas further than that, but I know you’d kill this Mae <3
hope you’re having a lovely day!
Thanks for requesting my love! Also, is that a new theme I see?? It's giving me renaissance vibes, like the clouds are going to part and there'll be an oracle and it'll be you ! I'm so here for it
cw: alcohol
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 2.1k words
Sirius and Remus keep fighting over who gets to play the music. Sirius more pointedly, tracking Remus down every time he has to change the record, whereas Remus just sneaks over while his boyfriend is occupied to switch it out again. Now Fleetwood Mac’s come on, and James can only assume Lily has finally stationed herself by the record player. 
A knock sounds at the door. Someone must have ordered pizza, he thinks. Anyone who goes to these things knows that Sirius always leaves the door unlocked. Being the closest to the door, James answers it. 
He thinks he stops breathing when he finds you on the other side, clutching a dissolving paper bag in both hands and nearly wet through. 
“Oh.” You look as surprised to see James as he is to see you. Which doesn’t seem strictly fair, because the last time he checked, he spends practically all of his time here and you live far away. Have since you took that cushy job right after school ended. “Hi, James.” 
“Hi.” His voice is mystified, tinged with the joy of the smile he can’t repress. “What’re you doing here, sweetheart?” 
“Remus invited me.” 
James stares at you. You look somehow exactly the same and yet impossibly more beautiful than he remembers. It’s odd seeing you out of your old school uniform, in a very adult-like coat that comes down to your knees and ties primly at the waist. Your hair is slicked straight by the rain, stuck in damp tendrils to your shoulders, and he swears your face has changed, too, a droplet of rainwater curving over a cheekbone he doesn’t remember being as visible when you were younger. 
“Um, can I come in?” 
“Yes! Yeah.” He steps out of the doorway, and your shoes squelch slightly as you wipe them off on the rug inside the door. James looks around as if for help. He thinks he spots Remus’ head poking out of the kitchen, but then it disappears. “Here, let me take your coat.” 
“Thanks.” You undo the tie for yourself, letting James pull it off your arms. “It’s really good to see you.” 
“You too.” He’s beaming; he can’t stop. “God, I just can’t believe you’re here. Are you in town for a visit?” 
“No, I—” You pause to give him a bemused sort of smile. “Did Remus not tell you? I moved back.” 
James feels like his chest has been hollowed out. Like someone’s taken out his heart and put the sun back in its place. 
“Really?” It comes out more breath than word. He fumbles for his voice back. “You’re back for good?” You nod, biting down on a smile. “When did you get here?” 
“A couple weeks ago,” you say, looking down to step out of your shoes. 
“What?” James’ tone is doing nothing to disguise his astonishment. He’s in no state to try and conceal it. “And we’re not hearing from you until now? You’ve only spoken to Remus?” His hurt goes unvoiced: Why didn’t you come find me?
You look sheepish. “I just ran into him at the store yesterday.” 
“Why didn’t you call?” 
“I didn’t want to assume…” 
You look like you’re trying to shrink away, but James gives chase, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. The cold of your clothes and hair sinks into him, and you both shiver. He only holds you tighter for it, scrubbing a hand up and down your shoulder blade. 
“You should have called,” he says next to your ear. “You know we’ll always want you here, love. We’ve missed you.” I’ve missed you. 
“I missed you guys, too,” you reply, squeezing him back. The paper bag you’re holding digs into his spine. 
James gives himself a couple more seconds before he releases you, taking the bag and unearthing a bottle of wine. 
“Nice of you,” he acknowledges. “Sirius will appreciate it, he loves reds. We should get you warmed up, yeah? Do you want some of this, or I could make you a hot buttered rum?”
You look like you could melt in relief. “A hot drink sounds amazing.” 
“Great.” He grins at you, knowing you have to go but unwilling to let you. If you leave his sight now you might very well disappear for another several years. After a second, his better sense wins and he juts a chin towards the stairs. “Go find something to wear. It’s the last door on the left, and the closet across from the bed should have things that’ll fit you.” 
James sees your protests in your face before they start spewing from your mouth. “Oh, I shouldn’t—” 
“If you go into the kitchen all dripping wet, Remus will only bring you up there himself. Save yourself the time, love. He’d want you to help yourself, trust me.” 
You chew your lip, hesitant, but then another shiver takes you, and James gives you a good-natured shove towards the stairs. 
“Alright,” you capitulate, going. “Thanks, I’ll be right back.” 
“No hurry,” he calls up after you. Then high-tails it for the kitchen. 
“I cannot believe you’ve set me up for ambush like this,” he says as the door swings open for him. His two closest friends look up with expressions of equal guilelessness, though Sirius is putting on far more a show of surprise than his boyfriend. 
“I had no idea!” He insists while James stalks to the cabinet, helping himself to a mug and the supplies to make your drink. “Moony kept it from me, you know I’d have told you if I knew.” 
James glances up at him, then shakes his head, reaching over to flick the kettle on. “No, I don’t believe it. You’ve both been colluding against me.” 
“It’s only against you if it’s not good for you,” says Remus. “And I don’t see how y/n being here is all that bad for you.”  
“Yeah, I’d have thought you’d be fairly chuffed about it,” Sirius agrees, forgoing the innocent act as smirk curves his lips. 
“I am.” James blows out a breath. “I just wasn’t expecting to see her. I didn’t even know she’d moved back.” 
Remus shrugs, cracking open the oven to check on something inside. “Well, I think she might have been afraid to seek you out.” 
“Why would she be?” 
Amber eyes meet James’ with disbelief written all over them. “You know why,” he says softly. 
The kettle finishes boiling, and James turns to pour it over the contents of your mug. “Well, I directed her to Sirius’ closet as retribution.” 
He hears a gasp behind him. “You prick—”
The door to the kitchen swishes open, and you breeze in wearing one of Sirius’ hoodies. 
“Sirius!” 
“Hi!” He’s all smiles as he folds you into a hug, glaring sharply at James over your shoulder. “Fuck, haven’t you become stunning? It’s been awhile, gorgeous.” 
“It has,” you agree, looking slightly flustered by Sirius’ complimenting. Which, James notes, is an improvement over your school days; you were never able to weather it then. “It’s so good to see you.” 
You go to Remus next, and he wraps an arm around your shoulders fondly. “Glad you could come,” he says. 
“Thanks for having me.” Your eyes move between the three of them, seeming to note their placement throughout the kitchen. “Sorry, were you all busy talking about something?” 
“Actually,” Sirius says, “Remus and I were just canoodling when James interrupted, quite rudely I think. If you’re going to join the party, please take him with you.” 
“Alright.” James takes your drink and grabs a cider for himself, nudging you towards the door. “No need to be a dick, just come find us later.” 
Sirius winks at you both as James ushers you out, Remus sending him a long-suffering look from by the oven. 
“Nice to know some things don’t change,” you laugh, finding a space on the couch for you both. 
“Yeah,” James sets your drink down in front of you, “I doubt those two ever will.” 
“Thanks. Ooh, this is nice.” You take the clear mug between your hands, lifting it up to admire the liquid inside. “When did Remus get so posh?” 
“Well, Sirius lives here now.” 
“Oh!” Your eyes widen, surprise and maybe a little of something else. “Wow, that’s so lovely for them. Then, is this Sirius’ sweatshirt I’m wearing?” 
James chuckles. “You could tell, huh?” 
“None of those looked like Remus’ clothes. Are we punishing him for something?” 
He raises his own drink to his lips, hiding his smile. They’ve always come especially easily around you. “Perhaps.” 
You hum, take a sip from your mug, and hum again. “Shit, this is really good. Thank you.” 
The praise settles comfortably in James’ stomach, as warm and mind-fuzzing as if he’s had a gulp of your drink himself. “Anytime, sweetheart.” 
This time, he notices your eyes flicker away from his at the endearment. “So,” you say conversationally, “how’s Lily?” 
Ouch. James glances behind you to where Lily has pulled a chair over near the record player. She’s sipping from a glass of red wine that’s only a couple of shades darker than her hair, smiling at something Pandora’s saying. 
“She’s good,” he says. Then, somewhat abruptly, “We’re not together anymore.” 
Your eyes flit to his, something almost like guilt twinging across your features. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” you say. The caring in your face is nearly too much; James wants to take it between his hands and kiss it all over. “Are you okay?” 
He gives you a smile. “Yeah,” he says sincerely. Perhaps with too much feeling, because your eyebrows bunch slightly. “It happened a long time ago. Not long after you left, actually.” 
“Oh.” You nod, and James finds himself watching you more carefully than he normally might. He waits for the sense of bliss he’s feeling to find its way into your expression, but you still appear hesitant. “Can I ask if something happened? You just, you were together for so long…”
It’s true. Most people they knew, even Remus and Sirius, thought Lily and James would be married someday. In the end, it just seemed that they’d been together for so long that their relationship had become a routine instead of a choice. They were cohabitors more than partners, and when they were doing everything they could to spend time away from their shared home, Lily had been the only one brave enough to call them both out on it. 
“We just wanted different things,” James says. Namely, Lily wanted Mary and James wanted you. Had for too many years. 
You make a soft sound. “I suppose that’s how it goes, isn’t it?” 
“Yeah,” he agrees. “So, come on—you’ve had my update, let’s have yours. How did you like your job?” 
You pair your shrug with a small smile. “Not very well, honestly. I don’t think I really fit there.” James tsks sorrily, and you shrug again. “It’s just as well. I missed you all too much. I wanted to give it a try there and I did, but I’m glad to be back.” 
“Ah, well,” James says. “I suppose that’s how it goes, isn’t it?” 
It’s a terrible joke, but you laugh, the sound like water trickling over stone. He feels the smile spread on his face. 
“I really have missed you,” he says, earnestness aching in the back of his throat. 
A similar sentiment reflects back at him in your eyes. “Same here.” 
“I’m glad you’re here.” 
“I’m glad I am, too.” 
“Would you want to get coffee tomorrow?” With anyone else the invitation would seem abrupt, but your smile looks something like relief. You’ve both been waiting for this for too long. 
“That sounds nice,” you say. 
“Great.” James can hear the love in his own voice. It’s probably written all over his face, too. Just as well. “There’s a new cafe by my place that has really good almond croissants, would you want to meet there?” 
You nod, not trying to downplay your happiness. His heart swells to see it. “I love almond croissants,” you say. 
James remembers. It’s one of the things he’s glad to know about you. There was a small, censured part of him that took satisfaction in knowing those things even when he was with Lily. It’s not something he’s ever been proud of, but a spark of that satisfaction comes back now. 
“Perfect,” he replies. Behind you, Remus is letting Sirius pull him out of the kitchen. Remus folds himself into an unoccupied chair, where Sirius happily sprawls across his lap. They’re both pretending not to be watching you. “How’s one?” 
“Not soon enough,” you say without hesitation. You take another sip of your drink, miming unconcern, but your eyes are playful. “Ten?” 
James feels like his face could split in half. “Ten it is.” 
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