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#as usual idk what this is I'm experimenting lol
inkskinned · 9 months
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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feverflushed · 2 months
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Whumpee had some kind of brutal surgery, and has been surviving on nothing but water and IVs for days.
They're so so hungry but they're not allowed to eat yet. The thought of food is plaguing them in their dreams, and when they're awake, their stomach's grumble is a painful reminder that they haven't seen a single crumb of food in four days.
Finally, one day, they see the nurse coming in with a small bowl of soup for them. Whumpee is so relieved and overwhelmed, that they start sobbing. They shakily bring a spoonful to their mouth, immediately getting emotional and teary-eyed again over the delicious taste of soup. Caretaker is sitting nearby, smiling to themselves at their sweet, genuine reaction.
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b4kuch1n · 6 months
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I'm not gonna screenshot it bc 1/it really doesn't matter that much and 2/the person who made the comment is a kid but: a while ago I made a comic that's supposed to be a genuine study and reinterpretation of someone else's sprite comic (made in the spirit of authenticity too - to recreate the vibes of the sprite comics from that era, iirc very specifically because it's funny) and I got a comment on that comic's post that's like "glow up"
which is a compliment obvs. and the commenter probably didn't mean anything by it, it's a common expression. but I've been trying to find a way to gracefully put that comment away ever since it appeared lol
I just very much don't want my art to be taken as trying to one-up someone else's art when that's not the piece's intention. especially when the piece that inspired my art is perceived as "low effort" or "shitpost" or stuff like that. I did mention in the tags of that post that my considering it a study is entirely genuine, and I can legitimately write pages about the cool stuff I find in it other than and inherent in the haha funneys, but that's not for you guys that's for me. I just think that approaching art competition-first like that is a miserable way to do it, and (tipping into overthinking here if the whole tiny-comment-got-stuck-in-my-brain-for-almost-a-month part hasn't given that away yet lol) I really don't want that to be the takeaway from my own art. at least generally. if I actually think the source material is trash and what I'm doing is genuinely categorically better I'd just come out and say it lmao
#bakuspeech#yeah it's the darkhog sprite comic#honestly I don't love comments that put my art and other artists' art in a hierarchy in general. wherever my art lands on that scale#especially when it comes to character writing and trans 'representation'#which like. idk man I'm writing One character. he's NOT gonna be The Trans Experience. he's gonna be one character.#but yeah I'd guess I'm writing it all out in a post bc it's not really a race that anyone opts in#I don't actively participate but by virtue of how my art is perceived I just end up on the scale anyway#so uh. I'm suggesting that we do not bring the scale into my house at all lmao#there's also the like. Don't Yuck My Yum guideline of looking at art that's like#I like the things I'm aping! most of the times! if I don't say it's shit and I'm drawing stuff from it usually that means I like it lol#and then you kinda come in like wow what you're doing here is better than the thing you like. and it's not like yknow.#really anything. it's extremely trivial comparatively. but you are in fact yucking my yum there#tldr please try not to think abt art u like vs art u don't as ''better'' or ''worse'' and#have grace for the things that don't please u personally. anyways I'm omw to finishing the frog now. just need to fell all the seams down#and put that boy in da spinner for a ride. and then it can live in a gift bag until the day#I really enjoy holding it actually... maybe after this one I'll make something else. tbh slick stretchy fabrics are superior to fuzzy fabri#doesn't pill And cooler to touch. stuffed toys for the subtropical population#I'll get a combilation of pics once the thing's at its new home. but for now. we must finish the job
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coquelicoq · 4 months
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Hello! I just saw you post some Maitre Gims, and I know you like Stromae, so I was wondering what are french/french speaking singers that you like the most? You may have answered smtg like that already but i couldn't find it and I am, as always, very curious ^^ -☆
mc solaar!!!!!! and stromae for sure. and i had a whole renan luce phase in college. otherwise i mostly just listen to individual songs and don't tend to know a ton by the same artist, but i've liked some individual songs by christine and the queens, lous and the yakuza, tryo, kana, bénabar, vianney. some other artists but that's a sample. currently only know two french-language songs by mika but i like them. always looking for recs if you have any!
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hua-fei-hua · 10 months
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*flopped down on a couch w/a glass bottle of apple juice to make it look like i'm drinking beer*
yeah... yeah i'm fine.... just coming to terms w/the fact that i must use javascript in order to achieve my vision w/the neocities...
#the main reason i haven't just abandoned this particular aspect of the Vision(tm) is bc it would be useful for like.#more than one thing. so it's like. le sigh.#(reading the documentation for tippy tooltips tonight so that i can sleep on it n try to implement it tmrw or something)#why is it always js.... please god spare me at least a Little bit of suffering here i'll never sin again etc etc#speaking of sin i've started speaking more candidly abt my queerness w/the kids at work this week#it's nice to talk to the older kids (as in fifth grade or older) bc even tho like. nine years old is when they start to be tolerable#they lack awareness n life experience. today i told the older kids that i like men but in a gay way#n one of them was like 'i don't get it' n then i reminded her of Gender:tm: n she was like 'ohhhh i get it'#n the two guys also listening were like 'what. i still don't get it.' ONE OF THEM ASKED ME IF I WAS AMAB ACTUALLY LOL#n i was like 'what? that's not important.' but that was really surprising! kids usually read me as female#so it was kind of flattering in a way to be asked 'were you born a boy?' like idk how he's trying to process my gender#but i'm going to flatter myself into thinking the question comes from him like. idk clocking some kind of innate masculinity or w/e idk#花話#anyway it's Crazy that it took me almost a year to not feel like i'd get instantly fired for telling kids i'm queer#Not going to lie it really felt like i'd never get to this point but it really is kinda just once you start it gets easier#(though to be fair i also wouldn't have told Any of the kids Anything had one of them not started acting like 'gays' was a dirty word)#(n i just Looked at him n said 'you know i'm a queer right?' n he was like 'O_O')#when i worked at homophobic summer camp i do remember daydreaming abt telling my boss i was a 'flaming queer'#i'd have put my feet up on her desk n everything as i made direct eye contact w/her but ofc i never did anything like that.#anyway! i will slep now so that i can get back to work on my projects tmrw morning
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kuiinncedes · 2 years
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my family coming to visit and my mom saying we're gonna eat at a dining hall ,, ,,, yes bc there are no better places for food on this campus ,,, ,,,, , the dining hall will absolutely be the best place where you will all be satisfied w your meal for sure
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familiaanteomnia · 2 years
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-Nathan’s frustration/anger is usually the byproduct of other emotions depending on the situation (not that he doesn’t get pissed off often,etc even if it’s a byproduct but the underneath tones are different+makes the way it takes form different) -In terms of his nerve issues,etc he actually usually defaults to frustrated upset if he’s alone might be tears and the like... For example things like “fuck it hurts so much don’t i suffer enough” That being said if he’s around people he usually just tries to have no reaction (put hands in pockets and try to control things to hidden by fabric twitches) -He isn’t always aware of when his hands are being stupid; sometimes he’ll just be holding something thinking his hands are steady then just suddenly throw/drop whatever and then he’s like : ) i want to cry (which tbh is a usual first reaction to the Fuckery/pain etc) usually he can play it off+ it happens more often when he’s alone -Sometimes his hands just choose violence and in those situations he usually ends up curling up in bed waiting for it to end. Given it’s not like they are usable which limits self medicating or really just about anything (hands are very vital to like most activities aside movie watching and Suffering) -Probably if agitated about it/somebody notices and tries to be “water will solve your problems” mentality will snap something like ‘take the pain of your nerves waking up after your leg has fallen asleep and times that by like 4 billion it’s only a fraction alike, it hurts, you have no control, and your hands will frequently jitter in completely painful directions or the nearest object’ -Speaking of his hands they can be very pale/very see through bony,etc (as much he hates the nerve fuckery,etc he does have lots of pictures of his hands/finds them not his worst trait or care too much about if ‘wow the only color visible is my 2 days 4 hours and 20 seconds healing bruised knuckles otherwise they look ghostly’) -Given even if he’s steady, shit happens+prior bullying- he is cautious just about all the time (mentioned before but- i’m talking he will focus to make them super steady, spend energy he doesn’t have to be ready in case they just stop functioning mid assignment or whatever) that being said his handwriting is usually not the best depending on mental status+the status of the nerve issues,etc (he tries to keep it neat/control even in those situations however it really hurts his hands all the more if he goes no no i have to write something perfectly when i really should just cut contact with touching anything) -His hands can also just lock up as a result! Sometimes the tight grip on something is the ‘oh fuck i’ve just death gripped this pencil so guess it’s a part of me now even though it feels like i’m holding my hand up to a firework that’s going off’ -One thing does when upset, is wrap an arm around his mid section tightly+usually tightly grip onto his jacket on the side. Usually obviously not when around others. Likewise he does enjoy bunching up jacket sleeves into his hands. Fiddling with the ends,etc (especially if the sleeves are long) did it lots more as a child, but “outgrew it” ie just taught himself to not do it around people+especially ones who would be shitty about it
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Like an animal | Bucky Barnes
Pairing -> Avengers!Bucky Barnes x Avengers!Fem!Reader
Summary -> When you don’t want to hear when Bucky says something and you get hit by sex pollen he makes sure you know that you should listen to Bucky when he says something.
Wordcount -> 2.371
Warnings -> (E) 18+, Minors DNI, smut, sex pollen, slight thigh riding, oral (fem!receiving), unprotected p in v, rough sex, hate sex, using of the word slut
Request -> Heyyy. I saw your Bucky smut menu and I couldn’t resist lol. Could you do 1. Either enemies to lover or sex pollen (maybe both idk im not picky) 2. Protective Bucky (I wouldn’t oppose to him being slightly jealous too lmao) 3. Oral f receiving and hate sex. And for the petnames I cannot stand anything like pet, kitten, bunny, puppy. No shame to ppl who like them, im just more simple. I'm fine with stuff like babe/baby, doll, honey, sweetheart. I hope this wasn’t too picky lol😭❤️🤞🏾 @blckbarbiedoll
A/N -> Thank you so much for the request. I hope you like it. I tried to include everything you asked for so yeah just read and decide if you like it or not I guess haha. Divider made by @firefly-graphics.
Events -> Bucky Barnes Smut Menu
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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Bucky groans when you just hit the Hydra Agent before he runs away and you follow him. The brown-haired man told your brother he would take care of you, but you’re always so stubborn around him and need to prove that you can do things on your own. Of course he knows, but being the protective man he usually is, he is even stronger when he is with you. Not only because of your brother, who is also his best friend, but also because he likes you. Way more than he admits, he really likes you since the day you started to work together, and the two are always around each other. But a part of him hates you for being so stubborn; at least he hates you in a way that he wants to fuck your attitude out of you and teach you some manners.
He tried to convince you to help, but you were just shaking your head and pushed him away before you punched the other agent. Bucky was standing there, rolling his eyes, but he knows he shouldn’t make you angry; otherwise, he would get some punches as well.
When you run after the agent, he follows you with a groan. Looking around the corner to be sure there is no other agent. When Bucky walks around the corner, the floor is empty, and he can only hear some shouts and some noises, which tell him that you’re beating the guy up.
Meanwhile, you’re in a room with the agent; he just ran into it, and in your headspace of wanting to punch him, you follow him. You don’t really look around you; you’re not noticing the suspicious things around you. The only thing you’re focused on is the Hydra agent opposite you.
“You’re such a naive little girl, aren’t you?”
“Shut up. You don’t know me, and a little girl couldn’t punch you like that,” you shout and walk closer while you lift your hand.
He laughs darkly, waiting until you’re just a few steps away. Then he pushes a button, and a loud noise echoes through the room. You immediately cover your ears with your hands, trying to make the noise quieter. The agent pushes you to the side; you fall and crash against a table before you fall to the ground and make yourself smaller. You press your legs to your chest, your head resting on your knees, while you see the man pushing another button. Then he leaves the room, the noise gets quieter, and you inhale loudly, relaxing your body while there is a complete silence in the room.
You slowly sit up, looking around, but the Hydra agent isn’t in the room anymore. The doors are closed, and you inspect the things around you. There are a lot of containers, big containers. They are filled with some kind of colorful gas, and you wonder what kind of experiments they are doing there.
“Y/N? Are you there?” Bucky shouts from outside the room, trying to open the door.
“Bucky, did you catch him?”
“No?”
“Then do it!” you shout annoyedly back and roll your eyes.
“No! We need to get you out of that lab; there are chemicals.”
You sigh, annoyed. Bucky crashes with his shoulder against the door. While you hear him groaning, you stand up and walk over to one of the containers.
“BUCKY!”
“What? I try to open the door, oke!”
“Yeah, hurry up. It-It’s cooking,” you shout back, taking a step back when the liquid connects itself with the gas.
“What?”
Before you can answer, it bangs, and a big cloud of liquid and gas is over the container, slowly getting bigger like the fog during a rainy and cold morning.
“What the fuck are you doing there?” Bucky asks, and you laugh sarcastically.
“I didn’t do anything. Here are some liquids and gases, and it just- I don’t know. It’s green! Is that normal? Is it supposed to be green?”
“I don’t know. I’m not Bruce.”
“Bucky! James! When he is green, it’s not good, so get me out of that room.”
The fog coats the room, and even when you try not to inhale it, you feel it slowly rushing through your veins, and everything starts to tingle. You feel like you get needy in a way you never were before, and you feel your pants dripping, soaking your panties immediately. You moan softly, your hand slides between your legs, and you shiver at the touch of your fingers. You rub the fabric of your panties and pants against your wet folds, feeling a bit of relief when you move faster against your fingers. A moment later, the door crashes, and you remove your hand. With wide eyes, you look at Bucky, who just broke the door and is looking around.
“Get out of there, doll,” he demands, holding his hand out for you to grab it.
“B-Bucky. I-“
He makes you shut up when he holds your hand and pulls you against him. His firm, muscular chest presses against you, and you groan softly. His leg is pressed against your cunt, and you start to grind yourself against it, making Bucky look at you with furrowed eyebrows.
“What do you think you’re doing there?”
“Please, those- Bucky- Sex pollen,” you mumble, your head falling against his chest while you move your hips slowly against his thigh.
He gasps, his hands immediately around your waist to push you back slightly. Your head falls back, and your eyes are filled with pure desire and lust when you look at him. You bit onto your lip, trying to push your hips against him, feeling the friction you had when you moved against his leg, but he holds you still.
“Please, Bucky.”
“You should learn some manners, shouldn’t you? Running after a Hydra agent and being in one room with him. He could have done filthy things to you. Do you like that? Do you like being used by a man?” Bucky groans; his eyes darken when he feels his dick harden in his pants.
As much as he hates the thought of you being used as a fuck toy by someone else, he loves the thought of using you as his own little doll. Where he can let out his jealousy and his frustration that you just can’t listen during missions and that you always talk back.
“Answer me!" his tone is rough, his fingers digging into your waist, and you moan softly.
“Yes.”
Bucky groans and leans closer to you. Then he presses his lips onto yours and pulls you closer, his hard dick pressing against your stomach, and you whimper. His hands roam over your body, finding their way up your sides, squeezing your breasts through the fabric of your shirt and bra before he slides them back down and lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck, and your lips never leave his while he carries you to the next counter he can find.
With one movement, he shoves everything off the surface and places you on top of it. He takes a step back, still spreading your legs apart while his hands glide along your thighs. Bucky grips the waistband of your pants, tugging at them. You move your body up to help him so he can take off your pants and panties. And he does; he shoves both down your legs and smirks when he sees your already dripping pussy. You moan; the cold air hitting your wetness makes you even more desperate, and you want to move a hand between your folds, but Bucky stops you, gripping your hand and pushing it away.
“Don’t dare to touch yourself. You need to learn manners, and I will teach you them.”
Bucky gets on his knees in front of you, his hands sliding along your thighs before he grips them and holds them apart. Then he kisses a trail along your stomach until he reaches your pussy. His tongue slides through your folds softly, and the warmth of it lets you shiver. Bucky lets go, smiling when he sees your hands gripping the surface to ground yourself.
“Good girl,” he praises.
With a short kiss on your stomach, he guides his tongue back to your folds, sucking softly at your clit and circling it with his tongue before he lowers his movements to your entrance. Your moans and whimpers encourage him to continue to give you the pleasure you want him to give you with his tongue.
“Don’t cum before I allow you to cum.”
You nod, and he raises an eyebrow, looking at you. His hot breath against your wet pussy, coated in your arousal and his saliva. Bucky works his tongue slowly inside of you, taking his time while you push yourself more against him, trying to get more of his tongue. More of him inside of you.
“Bucky-“
“I teach you manners. So we go by my pace,” he explains, kissing your clit.
“You’re a tease, aren’t you, Barnes?”
“Such a big mouth for such a little girl, huh?”
He nibbles softly at your clit, sliding his tongue through your folds again before he kisses every inch of your private part. Bucky loves the way you whimper to get more of the pleasure he gives you. He brings you close to your orgasm, but whenever you want to cum, he just kisses your skin softly. He just needs to push his tongue inside of you, and you are almost over the edge, your walls clenching around him, and he imagines his dick inside your wet, warm hole. The way you’re going to squeeze it when you cum and the way you will moan his name when he thrusts his dick deep inside of you.
Bucky gets up, making you whine. He smirks, his hands still sliding over your thighs before he removes them. You want to protest, but you don’t when you hear him unbuckling his belt before he pushes his pants and boxers down. His hard cock springs free, the tip leaking with pre-cum. He is huge, and you smirk softly when you see the veins running along his shaft. Bucky grabs his cock, stroking it a few times while he rubs his thumb over his tip and smears the pre-cum all over his dick. Then he slaps his dick against your clit, making you gasp.
“You’re so needy,” he says, his cock resting between your wet folds.
Then he likes his dick up with his entrance and pushes himself inch by inch inside of you. He stretches you open like no one ever did before, and your walls are already squeezing his dick. Bucky tries his best not to cum immediately; the warmth and tightness of your pussy make him go crazy. He pushes himself inside of you completely. You moan loudly, your hands find their way to his shoulder, and you grip them. Then you pull him closer, and Bucky breaks the distance between your lips, kissing you roughly while he gives you a moment to adjust to his dick.
Bucky pulls out of you, thrusting inside of you even harder. He is rough, fucking your attitude out of you and the way you talk back. He slams his dick inside of you, forcing it completely between your tight walls. You almost scream at the harshness of his thrusts, his balls slapping against your ass while he fucks you like a wild animal. But the two of you need it - the roughness, the slight pain inside of you, which turns slowly into pleasure. A kind of pleasure you never felt before, one only he can give you while he fucks you like a slut, a toy that just wants to be used by Bucky.
“I hate your fucking attitude,” he says, pulling out to slam his dick harder inside of you.
You scream, your fingers digging into the skin of his back. Your back arches, and you move against him, wanting him deeper.
“I hate the way you always need to talk back.”
He uses his metal hand to grip your throat. Bucky just holds his hand there; he doesn’t squeeze your neck.
“Fucking. Little. Slut,” he groans between his thrusts.
“Bucky- I’m-“
“Shhh. But even when you annoy me with that, I love you, doll,” he admits while he fucks you like an animal.
You throw your head back, overwhelmed by the pleasure he gives you. You feel every vein of his cock; he hits your sweet spot whenever he thrusts inside of you.
“I wanna cum, please. I- Bucky, I love you too. Can I cum? Please?”
He chuckles, bringing his other hand to your clit and rubbing circles on it. At the same harsh pace, he pushes his high lengths inside of you.
“Cum, doll. All over my dick.”
And you do as he tells you. While you scream his name in pleasure, you feel the know in your stomach snapping, and you cum all over his dick. Bucky watches in awe at you while you cum, then he looks down where his dick is connected with you. His cock is covered in your cum, and he groans. When you squeeze him even more, he doesn’t need long until he cums inside of you, painting your walls with his seeds while he slows his movements. You both breathe heavily, your bodies covered in sweat, and Bucky lets himself fall down on top of you. Your hands slide from his shoulders into his soft brown hair, and you play with them.
“Do you mean that, doll?”
“What?”
“That you love me too.”
“Yeah, I love you, Buck.”
He smiles, leaning closer to kiss you softly. His plumb lips perfectly fit against yours.
“Let’s clean us, and then we go back to the compound. I will make sweet love to you there. How does it sound? And then a movie night.”
“But I decide the movie,” you say.
The two of you laugh before he kisses you again and slowly pulls out of you. Bucky helps you to clean yourself before he cleans himself between a lot more kisses.
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𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨
𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬
┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛
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Taglist: @sergeantbarnessdoll @kandis-mom @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 @suz7days @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @bucky-barnes-lover @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry
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targaryenluvs · 5 months
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OUR LITTLE DOVE
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pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray
summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.
warnings: crazy lucy n corio conspiring like evil doers, manipulation, chasing, primal play?? is that what is called idk corio enjoys hunting your ass down, kidnapping, drugging, forced into accepting a third partner?? nc touching, abuse of power (peacekeeper), power dynamics, kinda cheating (lucy n corio), guilt-trip, jealousy, threatening, self doubt and relationship problems, murder, betrayal
word count: 3.0k
a/n: lol i complain about wanting to write fluff but all my good ideas r so dark 😭 someone needs to give me tips on how to write girls cuz i have no experience would be easier if i was gay boooo!!
he was like a shadow, stuck to your back, always.
you’d complained to lucy numerous times that you didn’t feel comfortable around him when she played at the hob, knowing he’d be there, in the crowd. “sweetie, he was my mentor. he helped me so much in the games, i wouldn’t be here without him. you love me don’t you? so you need to learn to love him too, he’s a good friend a mine. i love you and i gotta get to the stage baby.” she explained as she ran around getting herself and the covey ready.
you were always front row. wanting to be as close to lucy as possible. she looked especially majestic tonight with flowers in her hair. as you listened to her sing you’d managed to forget about the certain blonde peacekeeper near the back. but he hadn’t forgotten about you, nor lucy.
you’d left to get a drink and you’d came back to an unfamiliar tune. you usually knew every song being played off by heart but this was new.
Everyone's born as clean as a whistle
As fresh as a daisy
And not a bit crazy
Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing
she sounded as angelic as usual and the crowd around you seemed entranced.
As rough as a briar
Like walking through fire
This world, it's dark
This world, it's scary
lucy smiled at you once, just once. which threw you off since you usually got a bunch. especially during new songs and songs about you. was this not also about you?
I've taken some hits, so
No wonder I'm wary It's why
I need you
so it is about me! you thought as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sway to the music and singing. you’d hoped you wouldn’t miss a smile headed your way.
You're as pure as the driven snow
your eyes flew open as you stared at lucy, she was looking past you and to the peacekeeper. to coriolanus snow. you’d always been a rational person, you prided yourself on restraint but that restraint was hanging on by a thread. you wanted to jam a beer bottle into his neck. lucy was your girlfriend not his. and yet he smiled stupidly towards her as she sang and you could feel your heart clawing its way up. best to leave now rather than stay and hear more of the ever so driven man.
your head was spinning as you slumped to the floor, in one of your finest dresses yet worst mental states. of course, something had formed between the two. she was in the goddamn hunger games and he was her mentor. trauma bonding? he quite literally saved her life, coached her and you did what? sat at home and hoped.
hope could only get you so far.
your hope and faith in lucy gray baird was dwindling as her lyrics swirled in your head. of course she loved him. who wouldn’t? the man was undeniably eye catching. a capitol man. but you’d always imagined lucy staying away from the capitol, despising them. but maybe it wasn’t the captiol part but the man part. maybe she wanted a true life, a home, marriage and children and everything she could wish for.
what on earth could you provide her with?
“y/n?” it sure as hell wasn’t lucy calling out for you and you knew that. coriolanus’s reflection was prominent in the puddle before you as he neared. great, you sneered, would love to get to know you mr peacekeeper. please tell me how you stole my lovely girlfriend from me!
your chest felt oh so heavy as you heard his footsteps in the gravel, determined and unwavering as he made his way to your slumped body. “what do you want? you wanna gloat?” coriolanus stopped in his tracks, gloat? “why would i gloat?” you looked up at him annoyed, “rub it in my face. you practically stole my girlfriend from me.” coriolanus laughed. actually laughed and it made you want to strangle him with his stupid dog tags.
“sweetheart.” vomit. you wanted to vomit. maybe choking and dying on your vomit would be less embarrassing then this. why on earth was this fuck head calling you his sweetheart. “fuck off.”
you didn’t see him coming. and you certainly didn’t expect his demeanour to snap. but the large hand tangled in your open hair was a big slap in the face to your unreadiness. “you of all people don’t get to talk to me like that. do you know who you’re talking to?” you could hear his perfect porcelain teeth grinding at your words. god this man couldn’t handle an insult. wuss.
“what the hell is your- ow! problem!” you yelped as he dragged you into an alleyway. “you need to learn how to respect your superiors. if you’re nice to me, i can make your life easier. doesn’t it hurt? not being able to fully provide for your family? seeing them struggle? do you really think disrespecting a peacekeeper is going to help? i suggest you straighten your act and thank me for even looking your way. there are plenty of other girls here.”
but he didn’t want those other girls. he wanted you. you with the teary eyes and messy hair. you who he’d been seeing in his dreams and during the day. you with the kind smile and curious eyes. you who were so sweet and pretty but mean when need be. the y/n who was stupid enough to spit such hateful words at a peacekeeper. but he’d teach you. whether it be with words and lessons or actions and bruises. you’d learn your place, by his side and lucy’s, and underneath. but with such fearful, brown doe eyes watering up infront of him, the girl he’d heard oh so much about from lucy. how could he refrain from indulging?
his hand reached out to wipe away the few stray tears that fell as his left extended towards your right, which was clutching your head, where he’d grabbed you. “shh, let me help you.” your hand slowly retracted as your heart ran a marathon. the man was obviously unstable, going from a deceptively caring man to violent. coriolanus smiled at your actions, and it freaked you out. he caressed your scalp in an attempt to soothe, “good girl.” he cooed as your apparent saviour approached.
“sweetie?” lucy called out to you as coriolanus withdrew from your personal space. he walked over to her and she let him. he held her hand and spoke with, love? his voice was soft and comforting, his thumb again caressing the back of her hand as they talked, whispered, plotted? god knows, all you wanted was to leave.
was this your chance?
you tested the waters, slow and calculated movements as lucy nodded in agreement with him. but by the time they were done speaking you’d bolted.
but you sure as hell weren’t getting far with these two on your tail, poor y/n l/n. a little dove trying to spread her wings but they were bound to be clipped.
your feet were throbbing and begging for you to slow down. but your brain was in charge for once, your heart which yearned for your dear songbird pushed to the side as your head screamed and urged you to go. she was in league with him apparently. her seeing him corner you and not even batting an eyelash. did she truly care for you so little? did she want to rid herself of you? she could’ve broken up with you and let that be it. maybe the games had twisted her head.
even as you believed yourself to be gaining distance from the two you could hear the not-so distant steps of determined pursuit, headed your way. how would they kill you? slow and intimate? hasty and brutal?
“if you stop running now we won’t be mad little dove!” lucy shouted in warning as you felt yourself momentarily slow at her words. traitor. you thought to yourself as your body involuntary listened, she still had an affect on you. “she’s right, we love you, we won’t hurt you. unless we have to, don’t give us our reasons.”
“shut up!” you screamed. god, i know we haven’t talked in a while. last minute efforts right? maybe he’d listen to you, save you from your tormentors. you should’ve kept your head clear, focused on running. focused on your surroundings and if you had, you would’ve noticed the nearing tree roots, thick and protruding from the ground, ready to knock you down.
you crawled behind the tree, trying to catch your breath as your hands worked tirelessly to provide some form of relief to your aching ankle.
crack.
you’d been found. you fucked up.
“our little dove, ever the sprinter.”
his words had you lurching forwards in an attempt of fleeing but lucy’s cold hand on your ankle dragged protests and cries from your throat as well as you, back to them. “you should’ve listened before, we would’ve been nice. given you some time to adjust, but you can’t sit and think for a second can you?” coriolanus mocked as his hand trailed up your un-injured leg, “that’s okay, you won’t be doing much thinking from now on. we’ll be taking care of you, since you obviously can’t take care a’ yourself baby.” lucy’s voice was saccharine, like honey, and her smile was even sweeter. the familiarity and comfort of her presence was intoxicating, you felt at peace on one side and the other wanted to jump off a cliff. she lowered your guard and coriolanus slithered right in.
the prick in the side of your neck wasn’t painful, but their words were. “you’re with us now, we’ll take care of you, we promise.” and you were stuck, stuck with them for god knows how long.
you blinked away the sleep in your eyes, adjusting to the room. maybe they had killed you? in their own twisted way they’d keep you forever, in their memories and soul. coriolanus and lucy’s voices swam around your head and blended together. you were wrong. yay.
“it’s a bit early for katniss, even if it’s one of her favourites.”
“she should eat something better.”
“better? don’t go all capitol on me now corio.”
he was smiling, you could tell.
“never lucy gray. but she’ll be weak for a few days, proper meals will help her regain some strength.”
you picked your head up and looked through the window, the lake was evident.
“alright, you go grab it and i’ll stay here.”
“why? so you can get more time with her? if anyone should get extra time it’s me.”
“now who was her partner first? oh that’s right, me. you’re acting as if i’m gonna pick her up and run away. if you’re that scared than we’ll both go. take her with us.”
coriolanus’s head whipped towards the cabin and you quickly flopped back down on the bed. you shut your eyes as you heard the door creak open. “gosh, doesn’t she look pretty?” lucy asked, knowing the answer already. “so calm, i liked her better when she was crying.” lucy hit him, “coriolanus snow!” he stroked the side of your face and you had to resist from turning your head and biting his fingers off.
“little dove.” your eyes opened again, turning your head his way tiredly. “we need to get some supplies okay?” you nodded as lucy went outside to gather the baskets she’d left out earlier on to dry. coriolanus’s hand dug into your cheeks as he forced you to look at him, “i told you i’d make you respect me. now listen, if you try anything when we’re in town i will never let you forget it. you’ll know who you belong to every single day. maybe i’ll pay your family a visit? an appointment with the hanging tree for being rebels? stealing?”
you shook your head violently as you began to cry, “you don’t want that? didn’t think so. you listen to me and everything will be fine. your family will get daily help and weekly groceries. they’ll never go hungry again. all thanks to their sweet little girl. lucy’s too nice, but don’t think for a second she’ll save you from me. you’re mine and if you try anything.” he leaned in to whisper, “i’ll strangle her with my bare hands infront of you.” his words were meant to scare you, and they did. but don’t you know? coriolanus snow doesn’t need a reason to do bad things.
coriolanus was wicked and ruthless when it came to what he wanted, if you had any hope of trying to get through this then you’d need lucy’s attention and help. so you nodded. “words sweetheart.” you swallowed your pride, your dignity, and you shook hands with the devil.
“yes, i’ll do what you say.” he straightened up, his white shirt a contrast to his dark thoughts.
“y’all ready to go?” lucy questioned as coriolanus grinned, “yes, yes we are.” he lifted you up and helped you dress, you hadn’t realised the fact that you were only dressed in his own white shirt, dress to you. he handled you like you were the most delicate object. as if he wasn’t hell bent on breaking you, over and over again. till you were fit to his standards. the captiol standards. the snow standards.
his, his, his.
with how obedient you were, he figured you’d do well in the capitol. which was exactly where he was meaning to bring you.
lucy walked in front of the two of you as you made your way through the woods. coriolanus’s hand was glued to your waist as he held you close, afraid to let go. you were at flight risk of course. his grip was tight and bruising. lucy’s humming distracted you at times, if you were delusional enough you could imagine it to be the two of you. your brothers far infront and the covey following. after an amazing afternoon at the lake, heading home for dinner, maybe a performance or the night shift.
your daydreaming was interrupted when you clocked coriolanus’s missing hand from your waist, and his arm now around lucy grays throat.
don’t you remember? you’d do well in the capitol! you were his! but not entirely, no.
not with her in the way.
you were frozen in place as lucy clawed at him before reaching out for you. a plea, a cry for help and aid yet you stood stuck in fear. a minute, two. she’d put up a strong fight, especially when you ran towards the two, pushing and shoving at coriolanus to let her go. but again, you fucked up.
here lies lucy gray baird, singer, victor, psycho.
obsessed? madly in love? you couldn’t think of another word, and as much as you wished to forget her, forget how she’d practically allowed another man into your relationship and let him kidnap you. her lifeless face and hollow eyes made your heart clench. but soon enough she was rolled over, thrown in a pre-made hole and buried. she’d survived the games but no one survived coriolanus snow.
“don’t forget what i said. don’t forget what you agreed to. you said you’d do as i say, i’m telling you to get up and follow me. we’re leaving district 12.” your face was painted with confusion as coriolanus clutched your face, “i’m going back, and you’re coming with me. don’t ask questions, just do as i say.”
and you did.
when he had you say goodbye to your family, a courtesy, a privilege he’d granted you. you kept it short and sweet, no questions just hugs and false promises of return.
when he ushered you onto the train and he wanted you to sit and be silent, you did.
through his time at the university, he wanted you close to him, living with him. and you did.
through his presidency campaign he wanted for you to charm sponsors and entice newcomers. you did.
when he wanted to marry you in a grand spectacle infront of the captiol and dress you up, you did as he asked.
when he held you down on your wedding night after tearing your dress off, biting and marking you down all over, pushing you down to your knees and took you all over the house, asking you to give yourself to him as if he didn’t take you anyways, you did.
you had no idea why at this point.
for your family? who hadn’t reached out in so long, even when they promised to talk to you every day? coriolanus had them all arrested, punished and hung for inciting riots and uprisings.
for your friends whom listened to your concerns of the capitol peacekeeper who hovered and didn’t make you feel crazy? each of them ended up dead in many different ways, hung, shot, a mugging gone wrong.
you didn’t know at this point and when you looked in the mirror you didn’t recognise the girl who stared back. a captiol sheep, dressed up in the finest silk dresses and slick heels yet the filth underneath the finery, jewels, and makeup weighed you down. each time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you, it felt like a peace of yourself was thrown away.
and as you clutched your swelling stomach, you couldn’t help but feel pity for baby number four.
maybe you’d grow up and find love.
maybe i’ll be able to take you all away from him.
maybe we’ll heal.
you thought, but in the back of your head, a little voice wouldn’t shut up.
you’ll always be his little dove.
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bettysupremacy · 3 months
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hii! I was wondering if you could write a fic with reader and any marauder (they all fit) and maybe helping or becoming protective over the reader after a concert or party after a creep follows the reader? 😭
I went through a similar experience with a guy following me around after I went to the restroom after a concert, and it ruined my night if i'm being honest, I was scared 😞 I'm not the most shy of people and usually I can handle myself but it was pretty dark and idk the adrenaline from feeling happy to scared shifted pretty quickly. Luckily I found my friends and let them know and we quickly went back to our car (along with a few dirty looks from my friends god bless lol). I swore I could go to the restroom by myself- will not be doing that again :(
you can ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable!
thank uu
i’m so sorry that happened to you! “(they all fit)”= poly marauders!
There’s something about post concert depression, especially when you’re with the band.
Your glitter eyeshadow is smudged, eyeliner untouched. You’d been shaken around in the pit of your boyfriends fans, and yet the paint hasn’t budged. God bless water-proof makeup. The world seems prettier like this, touched by alcohol and the feeling of soaring pride for your boyfriends. The glittery lights and signs of time square never fail to dazzle you, even now as you lean against Sirius morosely.
“M’hungry.” You frown, toes tipping up towards Sirius, though you fear the mumble may have been more for yourself.
His attention is diverted towards the boys as they discuss what to do now. Plans of how to get home and where to eat. His finger taps your cheek slowly, his focus paying you no mind. Words like Uber, hotel, room service echo throughout their very repetitive conversation.
“Sirius.”
He looks down, a little shocked and sorry at his own attention. “Yes, lovely?”
“M’hungry.”
“Hungry?” He asks, cringing. You’re about thirty minutes from the hotel, and even then, room service will take another thirty.
“So hungry.”
He sighs, unsure of what to do.
“There’s a hotdog stand over there.” You grab his tattooed bicep to balance yourself as you point to your right.
He thinks, peering down at you. “This won’t ruin your dinner?” It’s midnight, but still.
“No,” you sing, reaching up to cup his cheeks. “I really want a hotdog.
He flushes, looking away from your wandering eyes. Normally he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. They would never let you out of their sight in a place like this. But the cart is in eye view of the boys, and he has faith in you not to stray, even in your inebriated manor. It’s not that they don’t trust you, they just prefer to keep you safe themselves. Is that okay?
“Okay,” He murmurs, pulling out his wallet, handing you his card. “At least get the good toppings.”
“I always get the good toppings.” You pull away.
The walk is short and the cart is colorful. Red and white stripes, curvy calligraphy. It shines in your inebriated vision. Beautiful. The queues not long, just an older man waiting in front of you, but it feels like forever as the generous man (with the toppings as well) takes your order and wraps it in warm aluminum foil.
You take the hotdog eagerly. “Thank you.”
It’s heavy in your hands, warm too. You yell Sirius’ name excitedly, waving the hotdog above your head for him to see. He laughs, thumbs up until you bump into a man, smile fading, concern etching his brows.
“Oh,” you murmur, looking up. “I’m sorry.”
“No problem,” he smiles. It’s uncomfortable, not the smile of a friendly civilian.
You laugh. It’s polite, anyone can see that, but he leans closer. He smells like liquor, a disgusting discovery that has you subconsciously leaning away.
“You new around here?”
An actual laugh stumbles out of your lips. “London? No.”
He takes this as an entrance. “You should show me around.”
“No, thank you.” You try to walk past him. Towards Sirius who’s already walking over. “Goodnight.”
“Wait,” he grabs your arm, pulling you back. His fingers dig into your elbow painfully.
“What the fuck,” you gasp, pulling your arm away roughly. “don’t touch me.”
“C’mon,” The man slurs, fingers reaching for you again. “Don’t be-“
“Hello?” Sirius walks up, all stock. He grabs your forearm pulling you to him firmly, getting in between you and the man. He’s not much taller, but more intimidating in demeanor. “Do we have a problem?”
“No,” the man scoffs.
“Cause it looks like you put your hands on her.”
He scoffs again, clearly inebriated. “We were just talking.”
“Well, conversations over now.”
“She can make her own decisions.”
“Fuck off, bro.” Sirius waves his hand dismissively. Quickly, he walks you towards the boys who are peeking their eyes up from the Uber app.
“She was asking for it.”
Sirius reels back, dropping your forearm to shove the scary stranger in the chest. He pushes hard, the man losing his balance as he falls to the ground in a sickening thud. You gasp loudly, the unexpected conflict startling you. Vaguely you hear Sirius say something to him, but you’re too focused on the way the man looks up at you.
James and Remus are there in seconds, quick on Sirius’s heels. They pull at him, up and off the man. There were no real punches thrown, no real injuring blows, it wasn’t even enough to form a crowd. But still, you’re shaken. You shiver like a leaf under your James’ leather jacket, suddenly not feeling the warmth of the alcohol you’d consumed before the concert.
Slowly, you stumble back and way from your boys, to the bench next to the shitty bar you’d passed on your way home. That had been scary, but you’re safe; that had been scary, but Sirius dealt with it. You bring your hand up to your chest, setting the hotdog you had been eager to buy down next to you.
“Hi,” Remus pushes aside the hotdog to sit next to you. “Are you okay?”
You look up to the boy, blindingly beautiful in the streetlights and advertisements. “Yes.”
He pushes some stray hair from your face. “He didn’t hurt you?”
“I think it was more startling.” James sits on the other side of you, kissing your temple firmly. “I’m sorry he did that.”
“It’s okay, I’m okay.”
“She’s okay.” Sirius gruffs from where he walks over.
He sounds cooler than he thinks he looks. He’s not bruised, bloodied, or bandaged, if he were he thinks he’d look cool enough to breeze over. But then again you look mad, so maybe he doesn’t want that.
“Don’t be upset,” Sirius crouches to your level. You’re in the arms of a solid Remus. “he was a creep.”
“Are you hurt?”
“Are you trying to tell me something?” He laughs roguishly. “I thought I looked good tousled.”
He does, and you know he’ll look good on the tabloids tomorrow too. Sirius black gives black eye? You sigh at the thought.
“You do.” James feeds Sirius.
“At least someone in this relationship cares for my ego.”
“You look good.”
“Oh, now you tell me.”
You laugh, letting Sirius stare at you like you hung the moon.
“Kiss em?” He pushes his knuckles in front of your lips. His fingers throb lightly, you can feel it on your lips.
“That was stupid.”
“C’mon,” Sirius’ eyes roll as he pulls you up. “You’ve got a hotdog to eat.”
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redbullgirly · 3 months
Text
HI BARBIE! HI KEN! [part 2, LH44 smau]
Lewis Hamilton x reader
Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau]
Summary: Lewis and his "real life Barbie" girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N, are enjoying each others company during winter break. February brings unexpected drama when the seven-time World Champion decides to leave his team... though is that the only surprise waiting for the fans?
Warnings: Little cliffhanger at the end, but don't worry, I plan on making part 3 soon enough :).
Author's Note: This is continuation of the Lewis x barbie!fashion!icon!reader request, hope you'll all like it. This time there wasn't so much of "barbie content", but I'm sure you won't mind. I honestly love this series, plus there are still many photos for me to use, so stay tuned and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! :)
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lewishamilton Happy holidays from our little trip to mountains 🏔
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user1 I swear to God this is the first time I see Lewis in snow
user2 ikr? like can he even sky? isn't it dangerous for him as an f1 driver??😭
yourusername merry christmas everybody, love u!!🎄🫶
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user3 Very happy and merry Christmas to you too Y/N🥰
user4 yeah yeah... but where's the usual christmas post y/n?!
user5 that's what I wanna know user5 😥
user6 She always posts the hot pics with their tree... and this year nothing ☹️
yourusername omg sry guys, i didn't think you'd care sm! i was actually sick on the christmas eve and didn't feel like celebrating 🙈💖
user4 ohhh that's totally okay y/n!!!!
user7 Thanks for replying, hope you'll get better soon!❤️‍🩹
charles_leclerc I see you're copying my training now😉
user8 lol charles just try not to fall on your face on ski
user9 no but can you imagine if we got Charles & Lewis training together in the mountains 😩
user10 It wouldn't even have to be in the mountains... I'd actually prefer them training somewhere hot so they don't have to wear shirts🤭
user9 i love your way of thinking girly
user11 King 👑
roscoelovescoco Mom's and dad's playing's in's the snow's ❄️
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user12 they left you home alone Roscoe?
roscoelovescoco Of course's not's... my auntie's watched's me's ☺️
user13 This is so adorable🥹🥹
user14 y'all don't understand how much I love their little family
user15 😘🖤✌️💯🌟
user16 y/n's ski suit looks so cool
fencer Good times man!
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user17 You are my God, Lewis Hamilton❤️
mercedesamgf1 Enjoy your holidays and don't break anything please!⛷🤍
yourusername trying!! 😊🌨
user18 lmfao
user19 Imagine if their best driver broke a leg or smth💀
user20 as a Lewis fan that'd be the last straw of my depression xd
user21 It's enough they couldn't build him a decent car last two years 🥲
user21 you & y/n are the best couple ever!🥰❤️
user22 Why's Lewis in red tho?
user23 sus 🤨
user24 some of you are truly bored and delusional🤣
user25 He probably has it so Y/N can see him on the slope and watches over him tbh
user26 idk where the narrative of lewis being bad at skying came from but i love it 😭
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lewishamilton replied to your story: Love you so much baby!❤️
yourusername love u too!!!💞
lewishamilton You are my brave girl, aren't you?
lewishamilton It's great you share your experience with others Y/N and trust me when I say I'll always be there for you 🫶🏾🫶🏾
yourusername awww lew, i know and i'll be always so grateful for it 🥰
lewishamilton Anything for my Barbie yourusername reacted with ❤️ to this message
user1 replied to your story: You and Lewis are just soooo cute omg
alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story: forever y/n!!🤍🌺
yourusername ofc!!!
yourusername you're probably the only reason i hope the negotiations w ferrari will work out 🙈🤭
alexandrasaintmleux oh yeah, it'd be great to have you in the garage next year 💕
yourusername yeah, let's see what happens in few weeks!
user2 replied to your story: so prettyyyyyy i wanna be u
user3 replied to your story: THE IT GIRL
landonorris replied to your story: The question isn't if you'll be at every gp but if you'll come to McLaren hospitality for one of them😏
yourusername pretty sure mercedes wouldn't be happy about that 🫣
landonorris Oh c'mmon Y/NNNN
landonorris You promised me like ten years ago you'd come
yourusername you were a literal baby ten years ago lando...
landonorris But a cute baby who deserves to have you in McLaren hospitality!!!
yourusername okay okay, i'll come for a visit this year 😽
landonorris ONE HAMILTON DOWN TWO TO GO💪
yourusername what?? 😭
landonorris I decided my life goal is to get you, Roscoe and Lewis to be my fans 😁😁
landonorris Lewis can wait till retirement ofc 😁😁
yourusername idk if i hate you or love you mr. worldwide
landonorris 🤷😙
user4 replied to your story: Mommy and daddy fr
user5 replied to your story: 😍
user6 replied to your story: Hope you'll heal soon if you're still sick!!!
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yourusername my job is beach 🦀🐬🐚🪸☀️ (btw how many emojis is too much??)
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lewishamilton Isn't that supposed to be Ken's line darling?
yourusername theoretically... but i think i look better on the beach, don't you? 🤭🤷‍♀️
lewishamilton Well of course, your fashion taste when it comes to bikini is hard to beat ✨🫶🏾
yourusername damn are you saying i look hot in that bikini mr. hamilton? ☺️💞
lewishamilton It's Sir actually
yourusername oh shut up lew, i knew you're gonna bring it up 😭
landonorris I just witnessed Lewis openly flirting through instagram comments... the world won't ever be the same. I need to bleach my eyes 😓
yourusername yeah u should learn from my bf lando norizz
landonorris Heyyy this is online bullying, someone stop it
yourusername 😘😘
landonorris 🫤
user1 i have no idea what just happened but i loved every second of it
user2 It looks like when Lewis finally interacts with someone on instagram, it can get WILD
user3 not y/n using lando norizz 💀
user4 she's one of us now
user5 BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SWEET Y/N & LEWIS ARE PLS?!!🥹
user6 Y/N living her best life and I'm here for it
francisca.cgomes enjoy!🌴
liked by the author
yourusername thx kika, you too!!💓
user7 On my knees for you🛐🛐🛐
roscoelovescoco The fruit's on's the plane's was yummy's 😋🥗
yourusername i definitely agree, let's thank dad for spoiling us!💖
lewishamilton My favourites deserve only the best 😉
user8 AWWWW so cute
user9 I'll never understand why rich people torture their pets like this... c'mmon, why would you give fruit to a dog? He needs meat and dog food. 🙄😤
user10 tf user9 you clearly don't know them at all if you think they're torturing Roscoe... this dog has better life than most of us lol xd
yourusername i'd just like to make it clear to everyone that me and lewis take the best care of our dog we possibly can, give him the food he wants and needs and love him dearly. it feels very offending for someone who doesn't see into our private life to assume we're "torturing" roscoe. you'll be blocked user9 and goodbye
liked by lewishamilton
user11 You know you fucked up when queen Y/N herself writes smth like this to you 🫢
user12 tell them girl!!! you & lew are literally the best parents to roscoe ever!!!❣️
user13 🔥😍
user14 THE BODY GIVING
kellypiquet Wow, the dress is so beautiful!💝
yourusername aww kelly thank you sm! definitely have to see each other soon 💕🫶
kellypiquet Can't wait for the girls talk!
user15 omg imagine listening to y/n y/l/n and kelly piquet casually having girls talk w each other 😫😫
user16 The tea has to be hot between the wags
user17 OMG, gorgeous as always 💖
user18 this couple has me in a chokehold
user19 RIGHT?! why is nobody talking about the 4th pic
user20 They're so hot fr 🥵
user21 and cute too🥺
user22 Love you Y/N 💋
lewishamilton posted on instagram
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liked by nicolashamilton, naomischiff, tomholland2013, landonorris and 1,983,022 others
tagged: yourusername
lewishamilton It's always important to focus on happy memories and remember the good moments with your loved ones. Couldn't ask for better people around me 🤞🏾💫
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user1 funny how he talks about positivity and then in the first picture he's holding middle fingers up lmfao XD
user2 Maybe he took Daniel's F.E.A. rule to his heart🤣
user3 what's that???
user2 Fuck 'em all
yourusername so lucky to have you around me lew! 🥰💗
liked by the author
user4 stoppp I love her
user5 I wanna have what they have😩
charles_leclerc 🤞💫
user6 Ariana what are you doing here?!
user7 Beautiful 🙌❤️
user8 ohhh lew w his dad it's so cute
user9 His dad and Y/N in the same post... we are getting fed rn
neymarjr Amen brother!🙏❤️
liked by the author
user10 I love their their friendship
user11 it's so unreal how the world is small and my fav football player is friends with my fav driver🤭
user12 THE MAN
user13 the second pic is adorable 🥹🥹
user14 I'm jealous but I don't know if I wanna be him or her
user15 honestly i wanna be the third person in their relationship... imagine dating y/n y/l/n & lewis hamilton all at once😩
user16 OMG REAL
user17 boyfriend lewis is my favorite 🫡
1st February 2024
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yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by scuderiaferrari, lewishamilton, maxfewtrell, t22felton and 3,340,276 others
yourusername guess it's time to change colours ❤️🍓🌹🏎
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scuderiaferrari Welcome to the team, Y/N!❤️‍🔥🏎
user1 you'll make our fav wag depressed next year lol
user2 Ferrari made a master move here 👏
user3 welcome y/nnnnn 🥰
user4 I'm still shocked
user5 me too sis😭
user6 We all are 😃
user7 🔥🔥
user8 when the gf is posting about it, we know it's not just a joke anymore😥
user9 FORZA FERRARI
user10 omg me & y/n y/l/n will be fans of the same team!!!!
user11 literally the only good thing about this
alexandrasaintmleux red looks gorgeous on you 💋💋
yourusername on both of us babe 💋💋
user12 BESTIES
user11 okay this is another good thing about the whole lewis situation xd
user13 Y/N and Alex will be so iconic next year 🙇‍♀️
user14 literally life goals to be like them😍
user15 So excited for this🤩 favorite driver and favorite team and favorite wag🤝
user16 idc about ferrari, but y/n in red slays
user17 omg yessss she's so hot in that dress🥵
charles_leclerc And now you can't make fun of me and my therapist 😘
liked by the author
user18 LOL
user19 not him admitting he goes to therapy bc of ferrari💀
user20 What about Carlos?? You said you come as a package 😡😪
user21 so true user20 it's so disrespectful towards carlos
user22 Guys calm down, this is their job and it's known for brutal driver switches. You'll have to deal with it, it's not personal business 🤷‍♂️
user23 yeah i don't think they're such good friends anyway... it was all for pr and marketing lmao
user24 I agree that it's just a sport, but pls don't do this to my charlos heart... their friendship HAS to be real😓
user25 Always support u and your boyfriend😉😉😉🙌🙌🙌
user26 Carlos deserved so much more!
user27 yes but she can't do anything about it girl, she's literally just dating Lewis 😐
user28 "Everybody is a Ferrari fan. Even if they say they're not, they are Ferrari fans." Vettel❤️
user29 i did not think it was real
user30 I need Lewis to comment something about this other than his statement pls 😭
user31 yeah i had high hopes bc he always comments and interacts w y/n's posts...
user32 Guess not this time😒
user33 Y/N unleashing more waves of chaos
user34 and we love our barbie for that 🤭
messages between Y/N and Lewis
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THE END
Author's Note: Thank you for reading this! I'll appreciate likes, reblogs, comments, follow and any other way of support. Also, I started my taglist, so if you want to be added or removed, let me know! That way you!ll be first to know that another smau or story came out :). Sorry for the cliffhanger at the end, but don't worry, I plan on making another part. Have a great day!
Taglist: @namgification @bloodyymaryyy
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voidbeomgyu · 9 months
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ALONE (Teaser)
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In which you meet your bias in the worst circumstances.
PAIRING Idol Jake Sim x Fan Fem Reader
GENRE Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Slow Burn, Romance/Strangers to Lovers, Suggestive (Maybe smut, not sure yet.), some fluff
WARNINGS 18+ MDNI, Descriptions of violence, death, blood, etc., All members except Jake died so keep that in mind (I'm sorry), Cursing, Crimes, Mental health talk and experiences, Death, Sickness (Throwing up), Making out, Smut(?), It's an apocalypse!au idk how else to warn about that LOL
SUMMARY The group Enhypen get on a plane to the US and when landing are met with the worst. Jake makes it out alive... but alone. Since the dead are attracted to areas where the population is saturated, your best bet is to stay low in the areas usually considered dangerous (alleyways, abandoned buildings, etc). He made his way into the country and found a nice cabin alongside a lake. His further inspection led him to believe it was abandoned for whatever reason, maybe it was a vacation home? Little did he know his inference was correct, and soon he was met face to face with a member of the family who owned it. How would she react to seeing her favorite artist rummaging through the cupboards of her new--hopefully permanent--home? And how would he be able to explain to a loyal fan of his that he was the only member left?
TEASER WORD COUNT 1,625
RELEASE DATE To be determined.
TAGLIST Comment on this post or send an ask to be added. (Have your age on your profile or you will not be tagged)
Endless walking while trying to find a suitable place to stay was slowly driving Jake insane. The exhaustion from travelling, fear of death, and anguish from the scene at the airport was weighing down on him heavier and heavier every second. Having watched his best friends, his brothers, his family all being taken away from him without being able to do anything but listen to the oldest’s words, “Run”.
Jake had not yet cried, there was no time for it. It’s been almost thirty six hours since then, he’d stolen a bike around a mile away from the airport. It’s helped him a lot on his journey to safety. He never stole, he wasn’t like that, not that type of person. But in the moment he didn’t have the time nor energy to feel guilty about it. 
Jake didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, but he wanted quiet. Not knowing wether or not it’ll be safer in the city or the country side, he chose the latter. Cities are crowded with people, meaning they must be crowded with the dead by now, right? No matter; either way he knew he’d feel much better being in the middle of nowhere, or at least in the middle of what looked like nowhere. All alone in an abandoned farm house, maybe a lake house, any house on the country side would do. He was being too optimistic, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. Finding a safe home to live in alone with no one around for miles sounded comforting.
The Jake from two days ago would’ve shivered at the thought of being completely alone. Though no extrovert, he needed people. He needed that connection, that interaction. His reasons to smile and laugh were mostly based around the people around him or the entertainment he consumed. Entertainment was out of the question now, and it seemed like people were too. Most dead, and others probably too violent to give Jake a chance due to the circumstances. 
All he held on him was his and Sunghoon’s carry-on bag from the flight. Note to self, don’t try to save your friend by holding onto their bag. Thoughts like this crossed his mind every few minutes, tragedies sentenced as jokes but he wasn’t laughing. What’s wrong with me? How could I think something like that? Maybe it was the dehydration, starvation, overall fatigue? He hadn’t eaten anything since the flight and was savoring the small amount of water he had on him. Either way, thinking of his beloved friends didn’t do much to help his mood. Trying to think of the good times? Those good times will never happen again, they’re gone forever and I’ll never get them back.  
More days passed like this. With a stop at a gas station probably being the reason he’s even alive right now. It was abandoned, for the most part. It was the early morning, and he was literally starving now. The cashier was still there, but his neck was chained so tightly to the wall that it was on the edge of ripping his head clean off. Oh, he was a living corpse too. Jake could tell that much by just looking at him, muffled grunts and groans coming from the pale body every minute. Luckily, he didn’t seem to care much of Jake’s criminal activities there. Stuffing whatever foods and drinks he could into the bags he had on him. They were even heavier now, but he couldn’t feel anything. He was numb to all feeling, mentally and physically. 
At day four he had started keeping track of how many days passed with a calendar he found on the wall of the gas station that morning. He didn’t stay there though, he didn’t have it in him to kill the cashier, and he knew that if he somehow got loose while he was sleeping it would all be over. The past few days he hadn’t slept or rested much at all actually. Napping for at most an hour at a time, waking up to the slightest noises and scurries of nearby wildlife. He knows he’s incredibly lucky to not have encountered any of the dead, besides the one at the gas station, but it’s a little stressful to not have seen any either. Where could they all be? He had made it out of the city, the once bustling streets on day two, he knew many people weren’t out here to begin with. But knowing there are creatures that could kill him in seconds lurking while having no idea where they are was terrifying. 
It’s been six days. His legs started feeling numb just hours after finding his bike due to the frantic pedaling, now he felt like his legs were asleep all the time. The feeling of pins and needles covered his lower body as they worked on auto pilot to keep him going. His back felt horrible, slouched from his broken spirit. Endless cramping and soreness of his hands and fingers from gripping the bikes handles for hours at a time. His knuckles were white, and now so was his once tanned and alive skin. 
His lack of proper meals, sleep, and rest was now obvious. Jake hasn’t seen himself since that day in the airport, but from looking at his now thinner, paler, vein visible arms, he could take a guess at what his face looked like. Hell, he could feel the bags under his eyes whenever he blinked now. 
It’s been quiet and empty for a few miles. Nothing but grass, and a dirt trail he’s been following in sight. How long is this damn trail? he thought. Jake started following the trail at the sunset of day five; he remembers because of his calendar. It was coming to the end of day six, the sun starting to set in the distance behind him. He found a flashlight at the gas station and used it to find himself a place to “rest” for the nights he faced, it neared the time to find a spot to sleep.
Trees were all around him now, the area looked more alive here, not dried out and dead like the miles before. He must be getting close to some sort of building, forest trails usually have a building as a starting point, right? Unless this trail wasn’t made for hikers, in that case he was hoping in vain. 
It was almost completely dark now. Jake had usually found somewhere to stay by this time, but something was telling him to keep going. Using the flashlight to illuminate the shadowed forest, he heard his friends voices cheering him on over and over again. 
“Keep going Jake!”
“Just a little longer!”
“You’ll be okay!”
Tears were unconsciously streaming down his face now, though he still didn’t feel anything. His body just gave up on the effort of keeping them in. 
Jake pedaled faster. He couldn’t hear anything but his heavy panting, it felt like someone had covered his ears with their hands and muted the sound of everything around him. He saw something in the distance, the roof of a building; he padaled faster. A house, the roof made of wood, looked like a cabin; he padaled faster. He could hear the muffled sound of streaming water; he pedaled faster.
Face to face with a cabin, going so fast he couldn’t stop himself from crashing into the wet grass below him. Still struck with adrenaline, he pulled himself up quickly and dragged his bike to the front door. His broken and unused voice sounded through his pants as he tried frantically to open the damned door. 
The door handle had a key hole but was locked with a rusty padlock. He could turn the handle and wriggle the door, that padlock was what he needed to remove. He pulled a hammer out of his bag; he grabbed it from the gas station floor, it was covered in dried blood. Obviously used by someone prior to leaving it there. Jake slammed the hammer into the padlock, over and over again. The loud bangs from striking the lock were null to Jake’s ears, his desperation coating over all his sense. 
Smash. The padlocks body is broken away from its handle and the door is free from it’s hold on the wooden frame. 
Jake shoves his way inside, throwing the bike onto the hard floor of the entry way before turning to lock the door. It was locked from the outside but had a perfectly working lock on the inside, though he didn’t care to question it. He made it, he was safe, he felt like he could faint.
He had no time to think, let alone find a good source of light before he threw up. Keeling on the once clean floor, liquid from his stomach poured out from him. His throat burned and ached at the feeling, like his throat was made of sandpaper. Falling back he sat on the floor, staring at the door and the mess he made on the ground. He laid back and let his eyes rest for the first time in nineteen hours. Jake fell asleep there on the hard floor, knee propped up on the backside of a couch.
If he was thinking clearly, he would’ve checked the entire cabin, then scavenged for any foods that may be there. But he was broken, body and mind. Luck had been on his side since the beginning though. The home was completely vacant before he entered, and when he wakes up he’ll have found himself a place to live in safely. Away from the corpses living in the surrounding cities, and away from any still living people, all alone.
(A/N: Hello friends! I'm finally writing LOL I've had this wip since December and I'm finally going to finish it. This post is just to see if people would even be interested lol. The total fic word count I don't know yet because I haven't finished it, but I am close! I won't give y'all any hints but I will apologize in advance for the angst I'm about to put y'all thru<3 sorry love you guys muah. Don't know exactly when I will publish the full fic, maybe right when I finish it, maybe a month after I finish it IDK I haven't written seriously in months so I'm not too confident anymore but I am excited. Hope y'all are as excited as I am :D )
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bountycancelled · 10 months
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rating how SEVENTEEN would react if you wore revealing clothes in front of the members (maknae line edition)
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hyung line version here
genre: rating-headcanon hybrid, suggestive ig, gn reader
requested: nope, but reqs are open (just look at my masterlist to see who I write for♡)
warnings: suggestive stuff and delusionality (seriously, this is the most delusional piece of work I have ever written)
a/n: after going ghost for like half a year, I'm back! I'll be sure to be more active this time around, so pls request if you want me to write about something 🙏
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minghao
(desperately trying to fight the urge to give him an 8/10) 6.8/10. thinks he's calm but really isn't.
takes great pride in being the only one to get to see you in more risqué attire, so is a little (a lot) jealous when he sees you walk down the stairs to greet the members.
his lips press together in that middle aged white man frown i hope yall know what the fuck im talking about CAHSSVH but he knows the members arent going to try anything with you so its all good
except its not all good because now hes distracted
teases you throughout the whole night, neck kisses, whispering what hes gonna do to you when the members leave, smirking at you BLOOD OF JESUS so that YOU end game night early instead of him (he has an image of peace and serenity to keep up and being needy for you in front of everyone would destroy it lol)
mingyu
-100009999000000/10. please do not even attempt to wear anything even remotely revealing in front of him unless you want a certain reaction.
sees what you're wearing before anybody shows up and begs you to cancel so that he can cough cough hold hands in bed with you for the whole night.
when the members walk in and see him on his knees, hugging your legs and damn near crying, they think nothing of it cause its mingyu and game night ensues.
cue mingyu glaring at everyone who touches you, doesn't matter if its accidental or if its just to give you the dice when it's ur turn to roll, they're getting stared DOWN.
also cue mingyu staring at you with his eyes glossed over and his mouth open like a squirrel staring at an accorn, and practically needing to be punched in the gut to pay attention to anything but how sexy you are.
also also cue mingyu ending game night like an hour and a half earlier and throwing you over his shoulder, barely having enough self-control to make it up the stairs (good luck soldier, it's gonna be a long night)
dokyeom
a solid 7.8/10. bless this mans heart, he would not do anything even remotely territorial or jealous after seeing what your wearing. it actually warms his heart that you feel comfortable around the members because they're truly like a 2nd family to him.
ever the charmer he is, he'll make sure to compliment you with a hand on your waist and a kiss to your cheek as you greet the members coming through the door (idk about you but imagining seokmins hand across my waist WHEW-)
since dokyeom is usually touchy with you, it serves as no surprise that he would be even more so with more revealing clothes, but he can still find it in himself to focus on the game.
but now YOU'RE distracted by his soft touches, barely even able to contain yourself or focus on anything but his hand trailing up and down your side.
neither of you end game night early, and when the time comes, everyone bids you two goodnight and does the separate ways. cue you jumping on dokyeom and him gladly carrying you to your shared bedroom. (what you don't know is that he was PURPOSEFULLY distracting you the entire time, and he is definetly dawning a self-satisfied smirk as he closes your bedroom door)
seungkwan
-666/10. you have chosen the wrong boyfriend to try something like this with, and he will make it very known.
gives you the meanest stank eye known to mankind, seething with jealousy as you make your way downstairs. (this man is literally grinding his teeth, you have created a monster-)
dedicates the entire game night to making your experience as lackluster as possible. I'm talking he'll make you lose every. single. game. every. single. round. without fail. doesn't matter if he's on your team or not, he's just that petty.
the members obviously aren't oblivious to seungkwan's sudden beef with you, but be it them thinking its funny or them not wanting to be another one of his targets, you're on your own soldier.
the only thought in his mind right is how DARE you look this good in front of anyone on the planet earth but him? where is duty? where is honour?? where is sacrifice??? (you and him just binged House of the Dragon, hence his dramatic mood)
game night ends early on account of the rest of the group feeling as though you and seungkwan need some alone time to solve this one-sided conflict. as soon as they leave, seungkwan acts all coy, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes when you say you know just how to make it up to him. as if this isn't what he wanted the whole time lol.
vernon
2/10. this guy won't even bat an eye at your choice of clothing for game night, whatever makes you comfortable is always going to be okay with him. you don't need his approval and he's aware and is perfectly fine with that.
and that's all good and well, except this time you were purposefully trying to make him jealous, so seeing his reaction (or lack there of) kind of bums you out.
don't get him wrong, it's not like he doesn't think you're attractive (you're the most beautiful human he's ever laid his eyes on) but he does not even register your outfit as you walk down the stairs, let alone get jealous in any capacity.
game night starts and finishes exactly how it always does, and when it's all over, as the members are saying their goodbyes to you two, jeonghan makes a slightly suggestive comment on your outfit, which you brush off with a wave of your hand.
it is only at that moment, after jeonghans comment, that vernon realises that your clothing is more revealing that what you usually wear in front of the members. (when I say this man is oblivious, I mean that shit)
"you look good." is all you get from him, as he walks past you and walks up the stairs and turns back to you, confused as to why you aren't following him.
all I'm saying is, if you want... attention from this man, you have to tell him upfront. because trust me, once he knows exactly what you want, he'll have no problem giving it you ;)
dino
–infinity/10. you don't wanna mess with him, cuz he's a jealous, jealous, jealous boy. if he- lemme cool with the lana lyrics but you catch my drift.
as soon as he sees your outfit, he pulls out his phone and texts on the groupchat that game night is cancelled because of "unforseen circumstances." whatever the hell that means.
he will shower you in compliments, his eyes filled with admiration for you. cue you getting kisses all over your face, and when you ask him when the boys are coming for game night, he'll simply trail his kisses a little lower, aiming at your neck to distract you and it works
at some point during your, ahem, devil's tango with Dino in your shared bedroom (he carried you there because in his words, "someone who looks as good as you should not need to lift a finger, let alone walk up a flight of stairs." okay chivalry!) you both hear a knock on the door.
it's the members, worried that one of you had gotten hurt or something which is why game night was cancelled. Dino is as red as tomato when he sees them, stating that you had hurt your ankle and that you weren't really up for game night tonight. the story would be believable if Dino wasn't sweating like he just ran a marathon, and if you weren't wearing such a sexy outfit.
but hey, you're limping as you walk down the stairs to greet the members, so maybe that'll make it all the more believable. (news flash, it makes it less believable, but Dino shoos them out effectively anyways, carrying you back to your room with a quickness, he's not done with you just yet LORD HAVE MERTHY)
thats it, i hope you enjoyed and redoing my permanent taglist, so I'll add you if you send an ask♡
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virgo-pisces · 10 months
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My 1st astro observations!!!
All observations are based on my personal experiences.
Even If I'm into astrology for more than 5 years, I'm not a professional astrologer.
English is not my 1st language.
Credit goes to @virgo-pisces
✨ As a Pisces Rising, I never get along well with Pisces Sun people - we always had some drama! I observed that I'm not alone, because my friends usually dislike people with the same sun sign as their rising sun!
✨Idk but maybe because Sagittarius is a ruler of 9th house - house of higher education, philosophy, exploring new horizons etc. - people with Sagittarius Mercury, which I have many around me, loves reading books! For example! My dad is a Sagittarius Mercury, and he loves books, especially this one's about history! Same as my Sagittarius Sun and Mercury friend, but maybe because of his Mercury sign being in 10th house - he loves books about finances!
✨Combability: Libra Venus and Capricorn Venus is a no, no : ( Even If both are Cardinal signs, and I saw so many couples with this Venus signs together - they really often end with broken heart, especially when Capricorn Venus is in Retrograde or bad aspected :{ - BUT, as we all know it depends on good aspects, and other placements too!
✨If you want amazing connection, and a friend with the same sense of humor - look for the same Mars sign as yours! I have Leo Mars, and every time when I have this specific cool vibe with someone, stress-free, very loose conversation - I knew that they probably have the same Mars as me! - works the same with Rising and Mars in the same sign!
✨Awww Aquarius, and Pisces placements in the same chart - Hello my delulu babies!!! - I'm the one too lol
✨BUT NGL! If you have 12th house placements, especially in Moon and Sun - you can manifest anything being delulu... Me and two of my friends... they have 12th in Sun, I have 12th house stellium, and sometimes we really should watch our mouths 🤐
✨HELLO??? Is there any PISCES VENUS MALE??? Like??? How to flirt with you, I'm so done... Why it's so hard to get to know y'all 😫 I met this Pisces Stellium guy (Moon, Venus and Mercury) - and I really don't know how to act, what I should do - like, NEVER T__T We have pretty good synastry, but Pisces Venus Female, and Male are so hard to read... basing on my experience ofc : ") I have Aries Sun/Pisces Venus sister, and she told me that she would never tell anyone that she likes him or her T__T, she can dream about someone but 🤐....maybe he is the same 😂 cuz he is an Aries Sun too : |
✨I don't know whyyy, but actually we choose people with the same sign as our 2nd, and 8th house @__@ I checked my Virgo Rising, and Capricorn Rising friend Badoo matches (lol) and they both had almost only Libra and Aries Sun guys (Virgo Rising), and 2nd one had Aquarius, and Leo Sun guys (Capricorn Rising)....and I'm the same.... I had all my dates only with Aries and Libra Suns 👀 Please, let me know If this applies to you!
Thats all for today pretty people!!! 🌸
May the Venus retrograde run peaceful for you! lol
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golbrocklovely · 6 months
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cultish love // colby brock
A/N: first off, so sorry for this being so late, i had a lot of things i had to edit about this fic. also this is my longest fic ever ! like the other fic before this, this is a AU version of colby… where he, you guessed it, is a cult leader. and he is also corrupt (but like aren't all cult leaders). again this deals with some possible heavy themes, so give a good read of the trigger warnings before reading ahead. i've always joked about colby being able to lead a cult, and that's basically where this idea came from. this fic also took a turn i wasn't expecting, but i like it anyway. also the first half is written as a journal entry (all italized) and then the rest is an actual fic (not italized). lmk what you think, and happy haunting !
prompt: you're a journalist, and your next big story is on the 'empathic love' cult, led by none other than colby brock. this cult is not known well, but you are getting a first hand look at them and what they do. and quickly, colby takes a liking to you. || fem!reader x AU!cult leader!colby brock
trigger warning: SMUT, no actual sex but you do get mentally fucked (it will make sense in the story), cult vibes all around, love bombing, cursing, supernatural powers, colby is very intense and kinda scary but also still his charming self, slight dubcon similar in vain to sam's story - you never say no outright, but you do have general feelings of 'wtf is this, idk if i like' so if that's too much for you, feel free to read something else :), colby's aura is crazy good at giving you visions, strangers-to-soulmates?? don't know if that's a tag lol, also…. colby's technically bisexual in this????? but like barely
word count: 8610
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I've been a reporter for only five years, and this story.... it could make or break my career. Cults aren't as prevalent as they once were way back when. They still exist, just in the shadows. A lot quieter on most fronts. Usually disguised as a business or religion, for tax reasons of course. But this cult, Empathic Love, is unlike any cult I've heard of.
Of course, they don't call themselves a cult, but that's what they are. How else would you describe a bunch of randos following one man around wherever he goes?
They only started so many years ago, right before I graduated university. The main founder, Colby Brock, is a pragmatic individual, according to his followers. The cult began blowing up in my town a little over two years ago, and now people flock from all over the world to visit the Love Compound. You would think it's Disney World the way people grow excited about it.
But I am here to get to the truth of this cult. What is their motive? What are they planning to do? Will this be another Waco or Heaven's Gate? What sinister beliefs hide underneath the modern-day hippie aesthetic they show?
These notes will document everything I experience for the next couple of days. And in case I go missing, these are my proof of who's to blame.
I don't think it will go that far, but you can never be too sure.
~~~~
Day 1 - Investigation
I'm still incredibly surprised I was allowed to come onto the Love Compound. The leader himself apparently reached out to my boss and told them that they wanted someone to come down and interview the group. They allow visitors from time to time, "new recruits" as some of the townspeople call them, but reporters have never been allowed in. Not once. Until me.
Driving up to the compound was nerve-wracking. I never imagined I would be nervous; I've interviewed plenty of criminals in my years, have done full blown investigations into scary, horrifying crimes. But something about this place freaked me out. Partially because I didn't know what I was getting into. But another part of me, and I will never admit this out loud, felt... at home.
The only promise I made to myself was I wouldn’t drink any kool-aid while there. So, I plan to stick to that. Pretend my previous statement never existed.
I was greeted by a beautiful woman when I got there: Avery. No one went by last names. And some apparently changed their names altogether, which was not surprising. My guess is there were most likely criminals hanging out amongst the group. But I had no proof of that, just a hunch. It easily could be a safe haven for those wanting to escape whatever life they had before.
The compound was three Victorian style mansions connected to each other and had a decent size farm attached - about 222 acres. Avery told me about all of the vegetables and chickens they farmed. Everything was organic and used up as often as possible. Anything that couldn't be eaten or produced too much for the only 100ish people in the compound, was sold at the farmer's market or given away to the local food bank. Avery explained to me very clearly that everyone in the compound chipped in one way or another. Some still worked normal jobs, but just lived here with everyone. But she noted that Colby hoped in the near future no one would have to work at all and they would be self-sufficient in a couple years.
A cult with future plans? Almost unheard of.
I told Avery that I was given an all-access pass to ask anything I wanted to, and nothing I asked could be ignored or deflected. She agreed to an interview. I recorded all of it, but here are the highlights of what I gathered.
I asked her why Colby was such a secretive man. There were very few photos of him that did exist out there, but all that was rumored about him was his alluring eyes and generally attractive presence. She agreed that he was handsome, describing his as having "ocean blue eyes" and his voice was to die for. "Deep and arousing", as she explained.
I noted that she seemed almost lost in thought at the idea of him, like she was envisioning him directly in front of her. Strange behavior; but not for a cult follower. Many end up falling in love with their leader, believing they have a genuine relationship with said person.
I bought up the name of the group, Empathic Love, and said it felt a little too inviting. She laughed and told me that it was right on the money - the best way to describe why everyone was there. She expressed to me that so many of Colby's followers wanted peace and love and light, and that being in this group felt like that. It was rewarding to be surrounded by those that cared and wanted to see each other succeed. Life outside the walls of the compound was rough, scary, draining; but inside, it was all love.
Call me cynical, but I don't believe that for a second. It took all the strength I had to keep from rolling my eyes at her. But I could tell from her voice, her motions... she was telling the truth. Well, her truth.
I wanted to know what brought her here, so she spoke of her previous life. She was abused growing up, moved around a lot in foster care. She was almost homeless, and then one day she ran into Colby. He had just begun the Empathic Love group, and she just knew she had to stick with him. Her life immediately turned around the moment he was in her life. The adoration in her eyes told me a different story, so I pressed her - "are you and Colby... together?" She smiled and said no, but she knew that they were life partners before, just not currently.
Oh... so it's one of those types of cults.
She said that Colby doesn't have a second in command, wife, girlfriend, whatever. Everyone is equal and heard. He's just the face of the group, which is a bit ironic given even I have no clue what he looks like. I knew he was young, in his mid-20s. But other than that, no idea.
I needed to know, why stay? What keeps you here? A dreamy look came over her, like she had said this a million times before: "Colby. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."
Chills ran up my spine at the tone of her voice. It was dull, and her words sounded like a mantra, the way she said them so easily.
I wrapped up my interview with her, quiring if I was allowed to interview others. She said yes and began sending over random people one-by-one to me.
If I hadn't gotten chills from her first, I would have from everyone else. Something about seeing everyone saying similar things, smiling happily, like the ship isn't sinking around them was eerie. It made my stomach churn when I would ask questions I already asked Avery, and get almost the same speech back.
I interviewed about 15 people. All variety of ages and genders. I suddenly realized that there were no children around, and everyone was over the age of 21.
Consenting adults… minus the supposed brainwashing.
A couple of the interviewees stuck out to me:
Penelope, 25. Her upbringing was similar to Avery's, but she still kept in contact with her family. Apparently, she wasn't the only one like that either. Many still kept in touch and even visited their loved ones. I asked her to describe Colby, tell me anything about him. She giggled, almost like a schoolgirl, and began to weave such a story about him. He was kind and caring. His smile was contagious, just like his laugh. And his singing voice was fantastic. She talked about him like he was a boy band member, and she was his biggest fan. I asked her to give one word to describe him, and she said "Love. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."
Greg, 36. He had fallen into rough times, and desired a fresh start. He had heard about this group online, and figured checking them out while he was in town wouldn't hurt. And that was a couple years ago. I wondered why he didn't feel weird listening to someone that was younger than him, and he shrugged. It was nice not having eyes on him. He loved being in a wallflower, and he believed that Colby deserved all the love he got from everyone in the group. Every ounce he got was ten-folded back into the group. Greg had never felt so connected to a group of people and he knew it was all thanks to Colby. "He brought love into my life like I never have had it before. Because that's who he is: love."
Heather, 29. She mentioned how for most of her life she felt like shit. Her confidence was at an all-time low when she met Colby. He encouraged her to keep at it, to love herself and find happiness everywhere. And by spending more and more time with him, she did. She has never felt more confident about herself, her life, her direction, and Colby is the reason for that. The tone that took over her voice when she bought him up was odd. It was very similar to a partner describing the love of their life, almost like wedding vows. I asked her haphazardly about her love life, how that was going for her. And she told me she had been on many dates - something she never used to do back when she was younger or before Colby. But she did note that regardless of who she ends up with, she knows that a part of her heart will always belong to Colby. They were connected, forever. "Love and light and happiness is what I desired, and I got it - all because Colby exists in my life now."
It felt like I was getting nowhere with some of these interviews. Many said the same thing, Colby being love and light and blah blah blah. I wanted someone that wasn't gonna just quote to me whatever mantra he made them learn. And luck was on my side, because I was able to interview their newest member, Ash. They were 23, and very beautiful. There was an almost smugness about them, like they knew they were the shiny new toy on the block. The confidence only a young 20-something year old could have.
I asked them, point blank, about Colby. Be brutally honest. They told me he was hot, and that's what drew them to him. They liked the idea of living in a group setting, especially since they grew up with many brothers and sisters. They liked helping out, and they liked knowing that Colby was keeping an eye on them the most recently. I then followed up with how long it took for them to join the group. "Three days. That's how long it takes for everyone."
I questioned them about the "Colby is love" thing, and they agreed it was a bit strange, but they couldn't help but feel the same way as everyone else. They were like a moth to a flame when it came to him. Everything about him was hypnotizing, entrancing. It was like staring at the sun; even though you knew to look away, you just couldn't help it.
Then I had to know: were they sleeping with him? Most of these cults feed off of the leader fucking every person they wanted to and leaving other members high and dry. But for some reason, it felt as if Colby was sleeping with everyone with the way they all talked about him. Ash dissented, saying no one was sleeping with him. He didn't sleep with any of his followers. But they all shared a deep, sensual mental connection with him. They felt like, sometimes, he was in their soul. And that sensation alone was euphoric, bordering on orgasmic. They also knew that in another life, they would have been together, similar to what Avery said.
It was then I knew that this group was clinically insane, or just really infatuated by what Colby was selling. It had to have been some crazy brainwashing. But it was odd; people were allowed to leave, to see loved ones, to have lives outside of the compound walls. Hell, some had dating lives that included those not here! That's unheard of, and completely stupid on Colby's part if he wants to keep things going.
A cult leader that wanted to watch his world implode.... I had to meet him. I had to meet the myth that was Colby Brock. And tomorrow I get my chance to.
~~~~
Day 2 - Interview with Colby
I feel the need to explain that these are my notes, not really meant for anyone else to see. And really, the only reason anyone would be seeing this is if I disappear or got murdered.
So, I say all of that just so I know, for myself, that this is a safe space for me to express my truest emotions and thoughts after interviewing Colby.
And all I can say, honestly, is that... I get it. I understand it now.
I felt my nerves hit their break last night before going to sleep, unable to stop my mind reeling from what was to come. I ended up bringing along a bodyguard, or really a photographer. I had known Trey since I started working as a journalist, and I knew I could rely on him to get us out of the Empathic Love compound if anything went south. I wasn't sure what I was up against when I went to interview Colby, but God... I didn't think I was so underprepared.
I met him in his office, Avery walked me over to it. It was up in the attic of the third house. It overlooked the entire property with wide windows. For an attic, I expected it to feel dark and dusty, but surprisingly it was light and airy. Almost like being out in the woods and taking a deep breath.
Colby was sitting in his main office chair. He spun around to see us, a light smile on his face. I'll be honest - I was taken aback by his beauty. I understood Ash's whole spiel about him being attractive and looking at him was like looking at the sun. It was intense. He was intense. His blue eyes bore into me, almost like they could see through me. I felt chills, but they weren't of fear. It was out of... excitement, of awe.
He greeted me, giving me a warm handshake. I hate to admit that I almost blushed at the sound of him saying my name. I had to take a couple deep breaths before starting. Avery left the room, and Trey sat outside the door, in case of backup.
I recorded our interview, knowing that I couldn't keep track of everything he said. But listening back to it now, his voice.... it's like a song. A beautiful, spellbinding song. I could almost fall asleep to it....
I asked him about his life, and how he came to be a leader for a group like Empathic Love. He spoke of his upbringing lightly, barely scraping the surface. He talked about growing up pretty normally, having a loving family, a great friend group, and then one day realizing that he could make a change in the world. That many people loved him and loved being around him. And that's when he knew that if he could make their lives better, he would. So, he started Empathic Love. Originally, it was just gonna be a safehouse for those that needed it. But then more and more people joined and suddenly, it grew into what it was today.
I asked where his family was now. "In Kansas," he told me. He said nothing further than that.
He humbly spoke of all the love he received from his followers, or his "friends" as he put it. They all cared about him in a way that he only wished he could return tenfold. I questioned him about the whole "Colby is love" thing. "How come everyone says almost the exact same thing, like they've been brainwashed into saying it?" He didn't even trip over his words as he spoke matter-of-factly to me. "I didn't come up with that phrase, they did. You would have to ask them. I take it as the highest form of a compliment, truly. I'll be honest, it's a bit embarrassing at times when they call me that, but I can't help what they do. I appreciate their love, nonetheless."
I continued asking him about different topics, until finally reaching the one I was most intrigued about. "How many of your followers - excuse me - friends, have you slept with?" He smirked, smirked, at me and said "None. Did any of them tell you that we slept together?"
"No, but the way they talk about you like the sun shines out of your ass does seem a bit odd, don't you think?"
He looked unphased. God, he had an answer for everything. "I'll be honest with you, some of my friends might be in love with me. But I make it abundantly clear that while I love them, and love their love, I don't have feelings for them. I'm still looking for the one."
I remember holding back a glare, "So, you're celibate?"
"Now, I never said that." He let out a chuckle, then his eyes darkened. "Why do you care so much about my sex life? Unless of course, you want to join it."
I tried ignoring his gaze and his words but stuttered through my next question. “Then who exactly is the right one for you, if it's not one of your followers or friends?”
It took him a while to answer, he even closed his eyes for a bit. He sat up once he knew, sauntering over to his window that overlooked it all. "I imagine the one for me is someone that will bring peace to me and my life. Someone that for all my faults, can see who I am truly deep down. She will love me, and I will worship her. I will show her what true love feels like. Our souls will be one, because they always have been."
Something strange came over me. I don't know why I said it, but I uttered, "What about looks?"
Who cares about looks! Why did I ask about looks? I was a serious journalist, not a reporter for Star Magazine!
He looked over his shoulder at me, "Looks aren't that important to me. What matters is mind and soul. Who you are deep down. But if I had to pick… someone like you. I feel someone like you would be a perfect fit around here."
I wanted to give him the sassiest voice and rebuttal I could muster, but deep down I was shaking. Energy raced through my body, like I had been electrified.
He kept his back to me, staring out the window. “I'm not trying to be overly complimentary. I'm just being honest. But I can tell that you would do so well to have us around. To have... me, in your life. I bring a lot of love to people's lives, that's for sure. But I also bring a lot of drive, and passion, and intimacy.”
Intimacy?
“People open up when I'm around. They tell me everything, even things they never dreamt of telling another person. And I allow it, because clearly, they needed to express it. And once they do, it's like the floodgates open. Love and light just start pouring into them, into their life, and it's overwhelming - but so worth it. Doesn't that sound nice?”
I guess so...
“I bring happiness to so many. My friends have told me that they get jittery around me, I'm like a shot of adrenaline. And that energy, that power, courses through them. And when it gets expressed, it comes out in…” He took a long pause, turning back to me. The look in his eyes… I can remember it as if he was still in front of me. “Pleasurable ways.”
I hate admitting this, and it's embarrassing to say it even now, but I felt a jolt of... something, run through me. I won't even say what it was out loud, in fear of never being taken seriously again. But what happened after that, I don't know if words can even express it well.
Colby continued talking, but I couldn't pick up on any of it. He was talking up a storm, but I couldn't help the sensations I was feeling. Even in my wildest of fantasies, I've never felt anything in reality. It was all in my mind. But in that very moment, it felt like it was happening to me.
I felt lips tread up my neck, stopping just below my ear. A hot, low moan breathed into my ear. My spine tingled at the sound, my hands gripping the armrests of the chair. If I didn't know any better, I would think Colby was behind me, making those noises. My hands suddenly felt hands on top of them. My eyes widened, looking down, but nothing was there. I couldn't really move my arms once the invisible hands were there. My whole body felt numb and heavy, relaxed. My mind was the one on edge, worried as to why I was feeling all of this.
I hadn't eaten or drank anything at the compound. Maybe it was being poured into the room by the vents? I don't know, but something was making me feel this way.
The invisible hands drifted up my arms, massaging my shoulders for a moment. My head lulled back, almost hitting the back of the chair. My mind was on high alert, but my body was about ready to fall asleep. The hands relaxed me so much that my eyes began to flutter.
But then... they drifted down my torso. They traced along my neck gently, drawing small, insignificant patterns. The hands grew lower and lower until they finally were on my chest. I felt the hands cup my breasts softly, my breath hitching in my throat. They kneaded my tits gingerly, my nipples hardening in my bra. I bit my lip, praying that I wouldn't make a sound. It was hard not to, especially when the delicate fingers of these invisible hands found my nipples, gently pinching them.
I remember closing my eyes tight. Trying to clear my mind. This wasn't actually happening to me. There was no way. This was a psychosis or a drug hallucination that was happening to me and Colby was doing nothing about it.
One hand drifted down my body, stopping right above my sex. I suddenly became very aware at how wet I was, my eyes widening. I felt a rush of blood flow through my cheeks. I was about to get caught. These invisible hands made me wet, and I couldn't stop them.
And the terrible thing was, I didn't want them to. I wanted them to finish the job. To get me off... in front of Colby. One hand rose back up my body, grabbing my neck and turning my face to look up at him.
A deep voice whispered harshly, "You want him, don't you?"
I didn't say anything, afraid of what would come out. But deep down, I knew.
"Say it, and it's yours. Say you want him. And he'll have you... forever."
I opened my mouth. I felt the words almost leave my lips. I stuttered out something. I closed my eyes, my body feeling high.
And then in a split second, it was all gone. The room grew quiet, and Colby cleared his throat. "Y/N, are you okay? You look flush."
I jolted out of my seat, being able to move freely again. I looked around and realized Colby was sitting once more, staring at me concerned. I finished the interview abruptly, saying I had everything I needed - even though I definitely didn't. And then he uttered words I wish I didn't hear.
"If you want, come back tomorrow. We are having a celebration here. I would love if you came by, even if for an hour."
I nodded, not even really taking in what he said, and left. Trey was confused as to why I bum-rushed out of the room, but I never told him the truth. How could I?
I knew deep down I shouldn't have said yes to go to the party. But getting that footage would be killer for my article. Interviews are great, but a party at a cult compound? That's bound to end terribly (for Colby, but great for me).
But something in me can't shake this feeling that I basically signed myself up for the end. End of what? I'm not sure. But I'll find out tomorrow.
~~~~~~
Stepping back onto the compound made my heart race. I was nervous as all hell, and just wanted this day to be over with already. Today was my last day doing this story. I was counting the minutes to when I could go back to my office and write about how this place was insane, or whatever narrative I planned to write.
I had enough proof that something was up here. All I needed to do was a bit more digging. And during the party is when I planned to do it.
Avery walked up to me, smiling brightly. "Hey, Y/N! How are you doing today?"
"I'm okay. I know it's a bit early, but Colby never specified when the party was going to take place." I replied.
"No, you're totally fine. The party is gonna happen later. Right now, though, we have something going on that you'll definitely want to see." She clapped excitedly.
"Oh? And what is that?" I questioned.
"We are inducting a new member!" she exclaimed giddily. "There's a whole process that we do, and everyone is involved. I imagine that will bode well for your article if you see it firsthand. It's all taking place in that tent."
I stared over at the huge tent, its plastic cover doors strangely inviting.
I hummed, "Sure, I'll be there in a moment."
Avery nodded, turning on her heels and prancing over to the tent, following in other members.
"What's happening in there?" Trey asked.
"Apparently they are inducting someone new into their cult." I informed him.
He blinked. "Group, you mean."
I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Make sure to capture as much as you can."
He shook his camera, giving me a wink, "On it."
We both walked in, many members still up and around, giving everyone hugs and chatting. Avery waved me down, patting the seat next to her. I walked over and sat. My body tingled in anticipation. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. My breathing picked up as everyone grew silent, the doors opening. Colby walked in, and people rushed to their seats.
Colby called out, "Hello everyone, good morning."
"Good morning, Colby." Everyone said in unison.
Jesus, that was creepy.
"A lot of things are going to be different today. First, we have guests watching our festivities. Y/N and Trey. Everyone, give them a hand." He gestured to the two of us.
The tent exploded in applause, Avery evening rubbing my back sweetly. It felt like I was being congratulated on something I didn't achieve, my cheeks flushing at the acknowledgement.
"And secondly, sadly, the new member we were going to have decided not to stay." He frowned, his face dropping.
Members gasped, some audible "oh no" echoed around the tent. Colby nodded his head sympathetically. “I know, but fret not. I think this will be a learning experiment for our new guests. We can still do our traditional motions of having someone join us. But, imagine it as if it's a mock ceremony instead. Ms. Y/N, would you please step up here?”
My heart stopped when he looked into my eyes, the first time since yesterday. I glanced at Avery, who grinned enthusiastically. She pushed me out of my seat, my body following her lead. I gazed around, finding Trey, who pulled away from his camera with a concerned look. I stumbled up the walkway, stepping on stage with Colby.
Colby lowered his voice so I could only hear him, moving away from the microphone. "I know you wanted to know about how we induct someone into our little home, so I figured why not use you as an example? We aren't actually inducting you, in case you’re worried. This is just what would happen if you were joining. Are you okay with that?"
I gazed around the huge, white tent, making eye contact with many people in the audience. They all looked so eager, waiting to hear my response. Some were even shaking with excitement.
I stuttered, feeling Colby squeeze my hands to bring my attention back to him, "I-I guess so."
"Fantastic." He turned, still holding one of my hands, "Alright everyone, you know the drill."
The crowd cheered, suddenly many lining up to a microphone at the side of the stage. Colby lightly pulled me to a cushioned throne, sitting me down. "So here's what's going to happen. People are going to come up to that microphone, and they are going to give you plenty of love. Genuine love. And then the next person will go, and so on until everyone has spoken."
"Everyone here? Like, all hundred plus of you?" I whispered.
"Yes. It's gonna be a while, so get cozy." He laughed, rubbing my shoulders.
Time felt frozen as slowly everyone came up and said something nice about me. Some were quick, mostly just commenting on how nicely I dressed or how the stories I had covered in the past were interesting and thoughtful. But others, it's like they could see into my soul and point out the exact thing I was insecure about. Everyone was complimentary and it was nice, but exhausting.
The line had dwindled down, and the next person to speak was Avery.
She stepped up the microphone, giving me a huge smile. "Hi, Y/N. I know we don't know each other that well, but I feel like I've known you my whole life. These couple days of getting to know you, being interviewed by you, have just been the highlight of my life. You are such a lovely presence to be around, and you deserve all the success you've gotten these last couple years."
Lots of people in the crowd nodded, agreeing with Avery. She continued, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to add - you are so deserving of love. You are easy to love too, and I hope that you are surrounded by people that make you feel that way. I know that this is just a mock ceremony, but I truly believe you would be such a great addition to us. I know you don't trust us, but I hope that soon you will find that you have a safe place here. Even if you never come back here again. This is your home now, and forever will be."
My chest heaved suddenly, tears welling up in my eyes. What the fuck is happening right now? Why was I crying at what she said? Sure, it was sweet and kind, but... how did she know I needed to hear that?
I turned my head, wiping the tears before anyone could see them fall. The crowd clapped as Avery left, going back to her seat.
The last couple people were a blur, my mind still hanging onto Avery's words. Suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. I gazed up, seeing Colby's beautiful face staring down at me.
"The ceremony is done. Now, time to party."
~~~~~~
It had been a couple hours since the ceremony, my body feeling almost numb but jittery all at the same time. It was hard to shake all the love and words that were thrown my way today. Sure, some were probably just lying and saying random things because they had to, because they were conditioned to. But it freaked me out how some just... hit the right spots, knew my insecurities.
The party itself was fine. Two of the houses had parties happening in them, and since all three houses were connected, you could leave one and walk into another. There was a dancefloor full of people, and multiple fully stocked bars. Tons of food was at each table. It honestly looked like an adult prom. But I wasn't in a partying mood. Trey, on the other hand, was enjoying himself immensely. Girls and guys surrounded him, laughing at his jokes and bringing him plates of food and wine. One girl kept rubbing his thigh, staring at him longingly.
I wanted to leave. I had had enough of today, and I just wanted to be as far away from Empathic Love as I could be. I decided fresh air was what I needed, so I got up and slid out the back door of one of the houses, taking a deep breath. There were still too many people around, but I noticed the last house, the one with Colby's office in it, had no lights on and no one around it. I walked through the yards, stopping once I was by the back porch of the third house.
I sighed, leaning back against a railing. I could still hear the party going on, almost getting louder now that I wasn't there. I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed.
“Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Colby's voice broke through my thoughts.
I exhaled. “Hi, Colby.”
He cocked his head, “Are you doing okay? You seem... upset.”
I felt this sudden rush of anger, knowing in reality he was to blame for all of this. “No, I'm not doing alright. I want to go home, I'm extremely overwhelmed by this party and all the people around here. That ceremony was too much for me to deal with, and the only way for me to get out of here is Trey and he's getting rubbed down by your followers!”
He took a step back, putting his hands up defensively. “Woah, that was a lot. You must have needed that release.”
I glared, “You think?”
“Look, I get it. It's a lot to take in. I myself don't love going to all these parties. It can be really overwhelming and if I'm honest, it gives me a lot of anxiety,” he admitted casually.
“You get anxiety?” I scoffed, “How? Everyone here loves you.”
“I know. That's the stressful part!” He sat on the railing, turning to me. “I'm the leader of this family. I have to make all the right decisions, and sometimes that means upsetting some of the people closest to me. Not to mention, so many eyes are on me, and it's just all too much sometimes. Even if you think this group is a cult, I still care for everyone here. I make sure they are fed, have a job, and have a life outside of here. And that's a lot to take on.”
“How do you deal with all of it, then?” I questioned.
“Patience. And a lot of alone time when I can get it - through meditation, specifically,” he laughed. “I was actually going to go meditate before I found you. Would you like to join me?”
I shook my head. “No, I'm good.”
“Are you sure? Look, at the very least, it will get you away from the party and all the noise. You don't even have to join me, you can just... sit in the room with me while I do it.” He argued, shrugging his shoulders.
I gazed at the party, everyone had grew rowdier while we were talking, and I didn't even notice. But my head felt like it was spinning from the noise alone. I sighed, nodding my head. Colby smiled, opening the door to the house, and I walked in first. I followed him up to his office, sitting down on his couch as he sat in the center of the room on the floor.
I raised an eyebrow. “That's where you meditate?”
“Yeah, I know it's a bit silly. But I feel so much more grounded... on the ground.” He replied cheekily.
I snickered, sitting back and watching him. He crossed his legs, resting his palms on his knees. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took multiple breaths until they were low and shallow. I furrowed my brow, my eyes never leaving his form.
It almost seemed like he was asleep, or in a hypnosis of some sort. He was completely still and silent. A dull glow appeared at the top of his head, growing brighter and larger. I leaned away from him, my eyes widening at the sight. What the fuck is that...?
An aura grew around him, surrounding him completely. He didn't move, unfazed by it. His eyes remained closed, and with each breath it grew.
"How... are you doing that?" I uttered, my mouth a gape.
"Doing what?" He spoke in a monotone voice.
"That... aura. How are you doing that?" I pressed.
“I've always been able to do it since I was young. You can get closer if you want to.” He suggested.
How did he know I was still far away?
I stepped off the couch, moving closer to him. I kept my distance, but the aura was almost pulling me in. It was beautiful, the light reflecting and growing bigger. I was almost engulfed by it, but it stopped right before getting to me. I could feel its warmth, its energy. It was calling to me, beckoning me to step towards it.
The aura wrapped around me, filling me with light and love. Or at least that's what it felt like. I gasped at the sensation, my legs shaking underneath me. I breathed in deeply, my lungs filling up with fresh air. I didn't feel like I was in the room anymore. I felt like I was flying, the world almost zooming around me.
“Let your body relax, Y/N. I know it's so much to take in.” Colby’s calming voice spoke.
I felt my body give out on me, falling onto the soft rug. I laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Visions began to swirl in my mind and around me.
How is any of this happening?
He answered, reading my mind. “Because of me. Because of us. Because of the connection you and I share.”
My body felt very heavy, unable to move even if I wanted to. I could move my eyes, and out of the corner of them, I saw Colby stand up. The aura remained around us, almost engulfing the entire room.
“You know, I knew the moment you stepped foot on to the compound's grounds, you were going to like it here. You were going to stay.” He smiled sincerely, gazing down at my body.
I blinked, confused. “What? I-I don't plan to-“
He cut me off, “This is the final step, Y/N. Everyone gave you love, people celebrated you, and now... I'm allowing you in.”
I wanted to shake my head, but couldn’t. “But I don't want to join.”
He chuckled, “Yes you do. If you didn't want it, none of this would have worked on you. You wouldn't be seeing what is directly in front of your eyes.”
The visions morphed around me, suddenly showing Colby and I. But we weren't us, we were different people, at a different point in time. But I could feel it was us. We were in love, growing a family together. Our lives were beautiful.
What the fuck is this?
“That is our past, or present, or future,” he winked. “The thing is, Y/N, I never seek out anyone. They all seem to find me.”
“That's not true, you emailed my boss about being interviewed.” I remarked.
"Oh, you are so forgetful, Y/N. You emailed us, begging to interview me and anyone else that said yes. I only agreed because I knew you wanted to meet with me. You sounded very eager to join in your email." Colby pulled out a piece of paper, reading from it happily, "Dear whoever reads this, I'm hoping to score an interview with your group, Empathic Love, for an article I am writing. I would love to meet Colby, and really pick apart his brain on why he created said group. Maybe I could even join if you guys win me over. Please let me know if any of this sounds of interest to you. Sincerely, Y/N of Global Gazette."
He leaned down, staring into my eyes mischievously, "Now does that sound like someone that didn't want to be here?"
My heart raced, suddenly scared. “Why don't I remember writing that?”
“I couldn't tell you. All I know is you wanted to be here. And there's a reason for it.” He sat down on the ground next to me. I wanted to get up and run, but my body stayed still, heavy. “Growing up, I realized very early on that certain people just... gravitated to me. A lot of women, yes. But really it was anyone. And not only did they gravitate towards me, they became obsessed with me. At first, I was confused, uninterested in ever going through that. Who wants someone obsessed with them? But then I realized how much good I could do with so many people rallying behind me.”
He continued, “As I got older, my ability, or power, or whatever it is - grew twice as strong. Suddenly, all the people around me followed me, did anything and everything I could ask for. Then, I began getting visions, and I understood why this was the case. Everyone here: we had a past life together. Their souls and mine have always been connected. They find me and then continue to stay. And almost always, they fall in love with me. It's just so glorious.”
“You're insane.” I mumbled.
He hummed, “Interesting, especially since you’re seeing the same things I am.”
It was true. The whole time he spoke, I saw vision after vision of our past lives together. We were always destined to meet, destined to be with one another.
“But the thing is, I know you're different from all the rest. You and I, we are meant to be together forever. You are meant to love me forever, and I am meant to love you. That's why my abilities affect you so greatly.” Colby divulged.
“What if I say no? What if I want to leave?” I grunted, trying to shake free.
“You've had the ability to go all this time. You just don't want to. You know how much love I can give you. You know how much pleasure I can give you as well.” He bit his lip, his eyes snaking up and down my body, “You've known that since yesterday, haven't you?”
Blood rushed to my cheeks, memories of yesterday played in my head.
“And do you know what’s crazy about that? That's not even half the pleasure I can give you.” Colby kneeled next to me, a devilish smile on his lips. His hand lightly brushed my face, cupping my warm cheek sweetly.
A burst of arousal raced through me, my body spasming in ecstasy. “Oh my God!”
“I know, it's a lot to take in. But I just want to make you feel good, darling. You deserve it.” He leaned in slowly, “You are mine, after all.”
"This is what your followers meant by a deep and sensual mental connection," I groaned, feeling hands all over my body, touching me in the most lustful of ways. "You got inside their heads and mentally fucked them."
“...That's one way of wording it. But if they didn't trust me, if they didn't already want me, it wouldn't happen.” He winced playfully, “So in reality, it's your fault.”
“Fuck you.” I growled.
“But baby, that's what's happening,” Colby laughed darkly. “Those hands, those kisses and bites... that's all mine. I can tell you're losing it. You want me real bad, but you don't want to admit it. I get it, you’re overwhelmed.”
I felt like my body was getting electrocuted with pleasure. My hips grinded into the air, needing some form of relief. My nipples strained against my bra, wanting any form of touch. I closed my eyes tightly, embarrassment rolling through me as I felt my damp panties against my sex.
Fuck, he was right. I did want this, and him.
I didn't even need to say it out loud. Suddenly I felt a cock slid inside of me, too easily from how wet I had become. I ripped my eyes open, looking around. Colby was watching me from his chair, smirking.
He palmed his hardening dick through his jeans. “Imagine how much better it would be if I was actually inside of you, filling you up with every. fucking. inch.”
I thought about screaming Trey’s name. Maybe he could help me.
He grimaced, rolling his eyes. “He won’t do anything for you, sweetheart. He joined our group just a couple weeks ago. Right around the time you sent the email. So really, you have all the more reason to join us.”
“Even if I join this cult, I will never stay here. I will leave here and never come back.” I hissed.
“And that is your choice to make. But Y/N,” his gaze lowered at me, his eyes intense. “You will never be satisfied. You got barely a taste of what I can offer you, and you're gonna want it forever. Just like everyone else here.”
“You're a- fuuuuuucckk!” I moaned, the cock inside of me hitting my spot deeper. I caught my breath, glaring at him. “Y-You're a freak.”
“Says the girl almost coming to my invisible dick.” He spat, clenching his jaw.
I bit my lip, annoyed at how right he was. The hands exploring my body gripped my ass, slapping it lustfully.
“Okay, okay. I'll agree with you. I am a bit of a freak of nature. But let's not act like I'm some monster. I let people leave. But they always come back because they choose to. I can't force people that far. Pinky promise,” He stuck his pinky out, and I rolled my eyes defiantly. He huffed, “It's not like this place is Scientology, for Christ's sake. We are love. I am love.”
“You are the most tainted form of love that I've ever met.” I retorted, gripping the rug to hide my building arousal.
He deadpanned, “Ow. That hurt.”
Colby strutted over to me, laying down right beside me. The pleasure grew more intense, my hips bucking desperately. His one hand hovered over me, never touching me. It didn't matter, because having him this close felt like his whole body was on top of mine, fucking me hastily.
“If you allow yourself to enjoy this feeling, you might actually come. Because I won't force you to. I'll just keep you here, for hours, riving in pleasure until your brain melts into goo.” He smirked, “How's that sound?”
"I-I hate you." I gritted my teeth. Why did I feel like I was lying?
"No you don't. But soon you'll be able to admit the truth." He leaned his mouth in close, his voice low and sincere, "I know that this place might not be what you imagined your home to be like, but it is. You will always have a place here. You will always be loved here. And I know that's what you want deep down. To be loved unconditionally. To have every fiber of your being satisfied. And if you let me, I will do that. I will please you every night, however you want me to. But for me to do that, you have to let me in. You have to let love in."
The cock inside of me pounded faster and faster. I could barely think anymore. The only thing on my mind... was him. The lives we had together, the life we could be having. I knew I shouldn't want it, but I did. I wanted him in my life, forever. He was what was missing, and I couldn't live one more day without him.
I mewled loudly, my hips thrusting up erotically. Colby's hand cupped my face gently, turning my head to look him in the eyes.
His alluring eyes stared deep into mine, his jaw clenched. "You will always be mine. I am love, and that is all you could ask for."
"You are love, and that's all I could ask for." I repeated mindlessly, grabbing onto his arm desperately.
His face softened, “That's right baby. You're such a good girl for me. My good girl, forever. You want that, don't you?”
“Yessss, please Colby. I want to be yours forever.” I keened.
"You will be. I promise, you will always be mine." His eyes darkened, the pupils almost completely blown out. "You will never leave."
"I won't!" I trembled, my orgasm building closer and closer to the edge.
“You wanna come, Y/N? Get close for me. Don't I feel so good inside of you? You like when I do this?” Colby's hand snaked down my body, rubbing my clit sensually.
I begged wantonly, dying to come. "Pleaseeeeee! Please let me come! I need it! I need you."
"Of course you do, baby. You and I need each other. Our connection is unlike anyone else's. Tell me the truth and I'll let you come." He leaned in close, his lips brushing against my ear, "Tell me, baby. Say it..."
"I love you," I cried out, right on the edge. I direly wanted him to say it back, knowing it was already the truth.
“I love you too, baby,” he smiled sweetly, kissing my cheek. “Now, come for me.”
Hot, white pleasure shot through my body. I had the strongest orgasm of my life, my mind shattering as I rode every wave of pleasure that went through me. Colby stayed by my side, shushing me as my high lowered down more and more. He kept whispering 'I love you' repeatedly, my mind unable to hear or think anything else after a while.
I blacked out at some point but awoke when my body was lifted off the floor and placed softly into a bed. “Wha... happenin?” I slurred.
“Relax, darling. I just brought you to my bed. Well, our bed now,” he chuckled. “I want you to get your rest because tomorrow is a big day for you.”
“What's tomorrow?” I murmured.
“Your introduction to everyone as my soulmate.” Colby informed happily, tucking me in. “Everyone will be so pleased that you changed your mind about joining us.”
I nodded my head, snuggling deep into his bed. He dimmed the lights, whispering softly, "Welcome home, Y/N."
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nothorses · 4 months
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hello am nonbinary 👍 i think a lot of binary trans people fail to recognize the ways they ignore or erase or are unaware of nonbinary trans issues. we are... like, rebinarized, either treated the same as transmale/transfemale or as cismale/cisfemale, when neither of those experiences are accurate or similar to ours (generalizing here, i know transmasc and transfem enbies Exist lol). i dont feel like exorsexism is taken seriously amongst binary trans people.
like... so many nonbinary people talk about having to lie and pretend to be binary trans to endocrinologists to get access to hrt, or not being able to access hrt BECAUSE of their nonbinary transition goals. but when i bring this up, my nonbinary perspective is often overrode in favor of a binary trans perspective (like, "well the gatekeeping hurts binary trans people too, youre not unique"). does that make sense? if i talk about how i feel about the english language's intense gendering and how it will never be possible for me to be "stealth", how i feel like im forcibly recloseted bc of rigidly binary gender roles and will likely die like this, im told that "everyone deals with misgendering". every time i try to talk about something specific to my own experience as a nonbinary trans person, it is derailed
i dont think "binary privilege" is like. a real thing. bc thats not what the word "privilege" means. but there is A Real Difference in how binary trans people are treated vs nonbinary trans people. its like, we should talk about that for the same reason why we talk abt the differences in transandrophobia and transmisogyny. and idk, in my experience, binary trans people dont usually want to talk about that?
I 100% agree, and I think it's a real problem. And I want to be clear that I agree with everything you've said here; I think there is absolutely a real difference in how nonbinary people are treated vs. other trans people, and I think other trans people very often do treat nonbinary folks differently in a way that is genuinely shitty and harmful.
I think we're on the same page about this one, tbh. I'm a little tired of the idea of "binary privilege", but generally for the same reasons that I think "trans male privilege" is nonsense, and that "transandrophobia" as a concept exists without implying that transmascs are oppressed by transfems.
I just think that not everything is an oppression/privilege dynamic, and it's important to be able to talk about unique experiences and lateral aggression without that conversation centering around arguments about who has it "worse", who's perspectives aren't to be trusted, who's problems aren't real, and which other trans people are the Real Enemy. Which it sounds like you agree with.
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