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ktempestbradford · 3 months

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I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

#long post #Willy Wonka #Wonka #Willy Wonka Experience #Willy Wonka Experience disaster #Willy's Chocolate Experience #Willys Chocolate Experience #THE UNKNOWN #Wish.com Oompa Loompa #House of Illuminati #AI #ai generated

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wordsarelife · 3 months

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—karma

pairing: theo nott x fem!hufflepuff reader (a weasley sibling)

summary: karma is the way you wear his jersey, making sure his team will lose the game

warnings: sexual references, reader is implied to be shorter than theo

notes: i imagined the jersey a bit more like a basketball one or a lacrosse trikot

“here” theo was holding a folded shirt in your direction. you had been sitting on his bed for the past hour, leaning against the bed frame while you were reading your book.

he had spent the time laying with his head in your lap, enjoying your fingers combing through his curls, until he had stood up a few minutes ago.

“what?” you asked looking up from your book. it took you a few seconds to register that the piece of fabric in his hand was his quidditch jersey.

“here” he repeated, throwing it down on the bed.

“yeah, i heard that” you smiled, unfolding the shirt to inspect it further “is something wrong with it? does it have a hole you want me to fix or something?”

theo laughed unamused at your bad joke. “i think i have enough magical knowledge to fix it myself if it had a hole” he shook his head “i want you to wear it tonight”

“tonight?” you asked and he nodded. he was dead serious and you began to laugh. “no” you shook your head “absolutely not”

“come on, baby” he pleaded, sitting down in front of you, pushing the fabric in your direction.

“it wouldn’t be as much of a problem if you guys were playing against ravenclaw or even hufflepuff, i could care less then. but you’re playing against gryffindor, you’re playing against my brothers”

“so what about it?” theo was trying to let his eyes appear bigger than they were, knowing that it would actually help his case.

“what about it?” you repeated laughing, not falling for his tactic of manipulation “everything is wrong with that. even my house will probably be offended when they see me wearing a slytherin jersey. i mean no one really cheers for slytherin, apart from, yeah you guessed it, slytherin”

it was no secret that every house had a bit of a distaste for slytherin. even your house, hufflepuff, which was normally filled with generous and nice people, was cheering for gryffindor. and of course your brothers and your sister were in gryffindor, so it only added to the appeal of cheering for them.

“they would not” theo shook his head “and that’s offensive! a lot of people want us to win, people that aren’t in slytherin”

“name three people” you said, crossing your arms and wearing a winning smile. he was searching for words but eventually just gave up.

“baby” he muttered with that sweet voice he only used when you guys were.. let’s just say in private. you hated to admit it, but it made you weak in the knees.

“theo” you whined, noticing his hand finding a place on your thigh and his thumb rubbing over the exposed skin beneath your skirt “it’s probably way too big, it’ll look weird”

“you could never look weird” theo muttered.

you rolled your eyes, knowing that he had already tricked you into agreeing, the soft kisses he was pestering all over your face also did not help you to stay strong. “okay” you sighed, feeling satisfaction at the big smile that broke out on your boyfriends face.

you pushed the shirt into your bag next to the bed, going back to your book, theo happily cuddling back into your lap.

well, you thought, if you had to wear his shirt, their might also be a way to have fun with it and secure gryffindor’s win in doing so.

even if that way meant to possibly embarrass you in front of the whole school, including your siblings.

but what had do be done.. had to be done, or atleast you figured as much. and in the end, most of them would probably thank you for doing what was needed to make sure gryffindor won. because even though no one wanted to see slytherin win, everyone had to admit that they were strong opponents.

it was just a few hours later, that you parted ways with theo, going back to your dorm to get ready for the match.

“hey, y/n!” hannah, your roommate greeted when she saw you walk through the door.

you repeated the greeting, before you took the jersey from your bag, holding it up in front of her. “do you want to help gryffindor to win tonight?”

she smiled brightly at you, already figuring that you had something mischievous planned by how you were smiling.

it took about an hour to get you ready for the game. hannah did her best in helping you. you had put on a bit of makeup and curled your hair, but hannah had made the most important move, sticking the jersey close to your body, so that it was fitting like a tight dress, not leaving much to the imagining or much fabric to flow down your legs. you were glad that it was long enough to cover your arse, but also not long enough to keep theo’s eyes off of you.

he always got weak when he could see your legs and he had told you before that it was hard to keep his eyes away when you were wearing something tight, making him remember that there was only a thin fabric keeping your body clothed.

tonight you would use that to your advantage.

you were lucky that it was still summer, making it possible after all to wear something so revealing.

you and hannah walked into the direction of the stadium, before she hugged you goodbye quickly, walking off into the hufflepuff stand, while you walked towards where your brother and sister and your friends were sitting in the gryffindor stand. if that alone didn’t make you enemy of the night you weren’t sure what did. it was really a bit daring, sitting in the middle of the gryffindors, while wearing a slytherin jersey, but you knew that you would stick out to theo even more that way.

you slid in the seat in between ron and ginny, greeting them.

“woah” ron raised his hand, looking you up and down “what are you wearing?” his eyes had grown bigger once they had reached the end of your made up dress, probably expecting it to be a tad bit longer.

“what?” ginny asked “i think she looks terrific!”

“she does” hermione smiled next to ron.

ron could not believe what he was hearing. “are you hearing yourselves? she’s literally wearing a slytherin jers— whatever that even is”

“he boyfriend plays for slytherin” hermione shrugged, matter of factly.

ron was busy ignoring hermione and shrugging off his thin jacket. he put it around you shoulders quickly. “you’re basically naked” he argued “please cover yourself at least a bit”

“that’s slut-shaming” ginny crossed her arms and ron looked horrified at that. you almost had to laugh at your brothers expression.

“i-i didn’t mean” ron stuttered, trying to justify what he had said “i wasn’t calling you a slut, i swear”

“i know” you interrupted his rambling “it’s alright ron, i’ll wear the jacket if it makes you happy, it’ll work even better then”

“what will work?” hermione was now bending over ron, ever so interested in what you had planned.

“well, gryffindor will win tonight, let’s just say that”

“i like the sound of that” ginny rubbed her hands together.

“cheating isn’t fair, y/n” hermione furrowed her eyebrows “nor is it allowed”

“i know, hermione” you laughed “and we won’t cheat, i promise. it just happens to be amazing for me and very bad for him that my boyfriend is incredibly attracted to me”

“you’re gonna distract him with seduction?” ginny asked and she was even more excited than you. you nodded and she grinned.

“ew” ron grimaced “can’t you please keep that kind of stuff behind closed doors? i don’t want to see your boyfriend get a hard-on in the middle of the quidditch field”

you furrowed your eyebrows at your brother. “do you want to win or not?”

he seemed unsure, but then eventually nodded.

“that’s what i thought” you smiled, patting his head “it will be over faster than you will even notice it happening, i promise”

“sure” ron muttered, hiding his face in his hands.

there wasn’t time to argue about anything else, because the game began.

the minute the teams flew onto the field you were looking for theo, trying to spot him in the haze of green uniforms. your eyes landed on him eventually and you smiled.

as if he could feel your eyes on him, he turned his head at you. you took that as the perfect opportunity to get rid of ron’s jacket, pulling down the jersey a bit so your cleavage was showing. you could practically watch him slowly lose his mind.

“it’s working” ginny muttered next to you

“i know” you smirked, noticing that theo was still standing perfectly still, watching you across the field.

mattheo, who had noticed his friend had frozen in the middle of the field, took it upon himself to shake theo from his trance.

“what’s wrong with you?” he asked, pinching the boys elbow.

theo did not answer mattheos question so the latter tried to simply follow the eyes of his friend.

“shit” mattheo muttered when he noticed you sitting in the front row of the gryffindor stands, basically wearing nothing. “fuck” he added “this is even too much for me”

that seemed to have been enough to free theo from his trance “what the fuck, riddle?”

“i’m just a man” mattheo shrugged. he then just narrowly escaped theo’s hand, that had been coming close to hit him.

“get it together, man” theo rolled his eyes, concentrating back on the game, but still having you in the back of his mind.

for the first half of the game, slytherin and gryffindor were close to each other considering points, when one of them had one more, the other quickly scored the next, always keeping them even.

“i don’t think it’s working” ron said after some time of eyes jumping between either side of the field.

“it will” you assured.

and you would be right. during the second half of the game, the sides were switched and theo was now much closer to you, making it even harder for him to not look at you.

you turned your head to the slytherin side, smiling at theo and also involuntarily mattheo, who was flying next to your boyfriend.

theo was caught up in the moment once again, watching the way you flipped your hair over your shoulder or the way your lips moved as you threw a kiss in his direction.

a movement next to him made him perk up. it was mattheo once again.

“did you just catch my girlfriends kiss?” theo asked offended and a bit surprised at the same time.

“..no?” mattheo lied.

“stop lying i saw you do it” theo muttered “stop looking at her”

“how do you know the kiss wasn’t supposed for me?” mattheo asked and theo was surprised that he seemed to actually be serious.

“you mean how i know that my girlfriends kiss wasn’t for you? take a wild guess, mate”

mattheo rolled his eyes, giving theo the peace and quiet to continue looking at you.

madam hooch blew the whistle, indicating that the second half of the game had begone. while everyone started moving, mattheo and theo stayed right where they were.

their staring was eventually interrupted by one very angry malfoy. “hey idiots!” he called and theo and mattheo turned to him in surprise “how about you concentrate on the fucking game and make out with y/n later?”

“sure” mattheo and theo answered at the same time.

theo send mattheo an angry look. “you are not going to make out with my girlfriend”

“we don’t know what she’s into yet” mattheo shrugged, once again dodging a slap from his friend.

“oh we do know” theo assured, before he flew across the field, picking up his position again.

the rest of the game was going a lot less smoother than the first half. theo was missing almost every goal he was trying to throw, accidentally hitting enzo once, almost making the boy fall of the broom.

it seemed that whatever enzo did, had made him the victim of theo and mattheo slipping up. mattheo actually managed to hit enzo’s broom with a bludger, almost making him fall down onto the field. luckily blaise had been able to stabalise the broom before it could come to that.

to your surprise neither fred or george came over to ridicule you for wearing the jersey. of course you knew that they were much more laid back than ron, but more often than not they liked to play the big brothers and give theo a hard time. even if they secretly liked him.

they seemed delighted at your plan working the way it did, using theo’s distraction to their advantage, scoring multiple points in a row.

“what’s wrong with the both of you?” blaise muttered absentmindedly, when he had to, once again, call for enzo to move before mattheo’s bludger could hit him.

by the end of the game, slytherin was behind by a hundred points, enzo had a black eye from the one time theo had accidentally succeeded in hitting him instead of the goal, mattheo and theo had flown into each other multiple times and ron was wearing an impressed smile.

“well, look at that” ron said, after you had finished cheering for gryffindors win “who would’ve thought that would work?”

“eh.. me?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“me too” ginny added, hugging you from behind “our sister is a genius, ron”

“that was actually really smart” hermione complimented and you smiled at her approval.

“thanks guys” you nodded “i better go apologize to theo now though. here’s your jacket”

ron was grimacing once again “you can keep it. better put it on before you go down there”

“yeah” you nodded, before you excused yourself, rushing down the stand in the direction of the slytherin changing room.

theo was leaning against the wall, seemingly already expecting you. he was rubbing his arm and you were guessing that he probably had a few marks from crashing into mattheo that many times.

“hey, baby” you smiled.

he was not looking happy, but you knew that he wasn’t actually angry.

“you played really well” you softly held him by the neck.

“we lost” theo muttered, like you were offending him.

“i know” you lay your head to the side “but you still did your best”

“i played like a goddamn beginner” theo furrowed his eyebrow “don’t act so innocent now, i know what you had in mind”

“do you?” you smirked up at him and he was going feral by the way you quickly closed and opened your eyes, suggesting you did not know what he was talking about.

“yeah” he muttered “and it’s super unfair” his fingers down went to the zipper of ron’s jacket “and what’s even more unfair is that you’re all covered now”

“i don’t have to make sure you lose a game now” you added

“oh, totally” theo nodded “my bad”

“you know i love you baby” you whispered into his ear “so i did what you asked me to do”

theo shook his head, impressed how you could still spin this to be his own fault. “i guess you’re right” he finally gave in. “how about we go back to the castle? i still have to shower”

“i knew you wouldn’t be able to be mad at me” you smiled. “but is enzo alright?”

“he will be fine” theo said a bit too quickly. as if to prove his words to be utter bullshit, enzo walked out of the door behind the both of you, holding a cold pack to his bruising eye.

“hey y/n” he greeted once he had been able to recognize you with his other eye.

“hi enzo” you smiled sympathetically “i’m sorry about your eye and everything”

“it’s alright” enzo smiled and you were impressed that he was still this calm after literally being beat up by his best friends.

“sorry” you cringed again as you watched him walk away. he waved at you from afar. “you really did a number on him”

“totally matt’s fault” theo excused.

“totally” you nodded “so will matt be joining us for the shower?” you joked, hinting at the way the boy had been staring at you the entire time, even going as far as catching the kiss that you had clearly send in theo’s direction.

“don’t even start” theo muttered, taking your hand in his and starting to walk up back to the castle.

“maybe i should wear your jersey more often”

“we’ll burn it after this”

you giggled, before you quickened your pace to keep up with him. “maybe just in private” you assured, kissing his cheek.

theo smiled and you mirrored his expression. “i guess that would be alright”

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bogleech · 5 months

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For me the most disappointing thing about Palworld is the designs being so boring and bland that you'll never have cause to review them. We deserve better from a creature collecting game, especially one making this much money!

Yeah here's the most opinion I can possibly muster on any of them:

DUMUD: it's a big fat shark-like mudskipper and that's a good concept, it just doesn't really have the charm of any Pokemon it shares anything in common with.

WUMPO: resembles the fur-wearing "werewolf" pokemon that got cut from the first or second generation, crossed with Tangrowth. One of the more okay designs because those are two good pokemon.

SIBELYX: this is supposed to be their Gardevoir I guess and I think it's an owl? Or is it a moth? Well it ends up one of the slightly cooler looking ones a little less obviously derivative of specific pokemon. Maybe they were also going for a Dimitrescue knockoff with the hat

CAWGNITO: an alright one because plague doctors just generally look cool. However the simple formula of plague doctor + actual bird would have been far too obvious and underwhelming as a Pokemon. There's no novelty or twist to this.

HANGYU: this is the one that's a ghostly noose canonically used to execute people. It's a funny little send-up of the darker pokemon pokedex entries, though the design is uninspired compared to object-based creatures in Pokemon, Digimon or any other monster franchise I can think of.

LOVANDER: this is one that fucks people, and they possibly borrowed the topography of Salazzle's official model. I want to think they did intend it to be freaky and unwholesome looking with the rubbery goblin hands, but I suspect they intended something actually sexy by furry monsterfucker standards and just weren't good at it. Yes I know that likely does not stop people from being into it anyway.

TEAFANT: I was going to say this is the only pal that looks better than its closest equivalent Pokemon, because they would be Cufant, and I gave Cufant a pretty negative review back in the day.

......But actually, now I kind of like Cufant. A lot, come to think of it! Teafant is cute and competent in the most paint-by-numbers possible way. It's what almost anyone would draw in ten seconds if asked to make a cute marketable teacup elephant pokemon. Cufant is an awkward, messy design but it is comparatively cute in a goofy, dorky way that's rare among the Pals, and more importantly, it is unique. I don't think they used AI to generate any Palworld models (the tech isn't there yet) but I can see why people assume they used AI just to get the initial ideas, because it's very easy to find people who have more a more creative eye for character design. I'd say even if not ESPECIALLY people with zero experience in art would have made the Pals look more interesting.

#palworld #pokemon

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appocalipse · 2 years

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prompt idea! dramatic confession of love in the rain with friends to lovers reader & eddie. maybe like arguing outside about the fact that somethings been off with one of them & demanding an answer, love confessing ensues then BAM! rain kiss 🫢

i love this request so much, i adore writing love confessions! ♥ | 1.7k words (got a little carried away lol)

It started with a simple question.

"Do you mind getting another ride home today?" Eddie had said.

You didn't mind, not really. Of course, you used to take every opportunity to spend time with him, but you could understand that he had his own life and sometimes his plans didn't line up with yours. It was okay.

When he explained the reason behind the question, however, you felt yourself wither and dwindle like a dying flower.

"I'm going to take Aubrey home, so...you know."

You did know. Aubrey lived on the other side of town, completely off the route you and Eddie took to get home every day. He wasn't just giving her a ride; it was something. Something else. Maybe some kind of date, even.

Date.

You felt your heart three times heavier as you forced a smile and said, almost capable of hearing the tiny pieces of it tinkling inside your own chest, "Oh, sure. It's okay."

And then, before you could stop yourself, you did the stupidest thing one could possibly do; you had asked.

"So…did she ask you out on a date or something?"

You'd poked him in the ribs playfully then, trying to look more relaxed than you really felt as the words left your mouth.

If Eddie noticed it, he didn't let it show. He actually laughed, looking a little embarrassed, and replied, "Actually, I kind of asked her."

Wonderful.

You couldn't stop your eyebrows from rising then, whatever's left of your heart from breaking. You tried to avoid looking like the kicked puppy you felt. Probably didn't succeed as much as you'd like to say.

In general, you were good at doing this — you'd been doing it ever since you realized your feelings for Eddie Munson went far beyond a mere affection between two good friends. It was almost second nature — both being in love with him and hiding it.

Eddie hadn't noticed anything wrong when you smiled that day, just as he doesn't notice anything wrong with the smile you're giving him now, in the school hallway, a week later.

He's so blind when it comes to you.

"I'm not going home with you today," you tell him, closing your locker and packing your backpack carefully.

It's been no less than torture letting Eddie drive you around in his van for the past few days; his van, where everything smells like him, where he strikes up conversations and tells jokes and makes you laugh like everything is fine.

Because everything is fine to him. You're the one who couldn't help but fall in love. Like an idiot.

You didn't want to risk him finding out that whatever he had going on with Aubrey made you jealous, though, so you'd forced yourself to let him pick you up and drive you home from school every day while he remained blissfully unaware.

He seems surprised when your words sink in.

"No?"

"I have to go somewhere else first," you lie. It comes off easily when you're not looking at him.

"It's all right, I'll go with you."

"No, it's fine. I think it'll take a little while."

"I don't mind."

Smile, just smile. "Eddie, really, it's okay."

"It's raining a lot," he argues, looking awfully worried. "You can't just walk home. Do you even have an umbrella with you?"

"Yes," another lie. It's downhill from here, you can tell. "Don't worry."

You feel like you're going to get burned any moment now if you don't get away from Eddie.

Most people have already gone home — you've been studying in the library and Eddie's been at Hellfire with the boys, so you two had stuck behind. The empty hallway makes everything seem worse somehow, his worried gaze on you heavier.

He lets you take three steps before grabbing your arm.

"Wait," he says, brows furrowed, eyes searching for something in your expression. Whatever it is, he finds it. "Something's wrong. What's wrong, Y/N?"

Eddie never had much of a sense of personal space — he's invading yours now, very much, and everything just got a lot more complicated; his fingers around your elbow are warm, the eyes that stare back at you are kind. He smells the same as always: leather, spearmint, cigarette smoke masked by cheap cologne.

You look at your arm and wonder what are the odds you'll be able to break free and walk out the front door without him following you. Not good.

"Nothing," you manage to say. "Nothing is wrong. What are you talking about?"

Perhaps the fake smile is losing its power, you think, because Eddie doesn't look like he'd be giving up anytime soon.

"Something is off with you these days," he insists.

"Eddie, look, I need to go-"

"Have I done something wrong?"

"What?" you sound horrified, because you are horrified; as if Eddie would ever be able to intentionally hurt you. It would have been funny if you weren't so sad. "No, of course not!"

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not, I-" It's hard to get the words out with him so close, with his hand on your arm, with his eyes on yours-

Oh, how you'd like to disappear right now.

“Did I forget something?” Eddie looks terribly guilty, even though there's nothing to blame himself for. "Your birthday is still pretty far, so-"

You hate this.

"Eddie-" you try, but he's too far inside his own head to hear. He's probably going over a list of things he could have done to make you mad right now.

“-did we make any plans that I forgot?”

"No, I-"

“Did I say something wrong? Shit, I did, didn’t I?”

“Eddie-”

"-I'm sorry if I said- I don't know what I said, but I am sorry, I-"

“I love you.”

It's a mistake. You instantly know that, you know that the very moment the words leave your mouth without permission, a confession you never meant to make. One look at the way Eddie's entire body seems to tense up, at how his lips freeze mid-sentence, parted but not uttering any words, any sound... it's more than enough to tell you it was a fucking mistake.

Time seems to slow down, each second stretching impossibly beyond normal. The only sound that can be heard is the rain. Heavy, rhythmic, coming down without pause.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

You pull your arm back and pretty much run towards the door as if you might distance yourself from the stupid words you just blurted out by doing so.

You think you hear a mumble of "shit" behind you, but you don't stop to look, don't turn around to be sure. Your eyes are prickling and you can taste the tears that ain't coming.

Rain. You're still running anyways. You're soaked and still running, stumbling because it's hard to see through the storm now, hair sticking to your neck, heavy breathing pushing your chest up and down, your face wet from both the rain and your tears.

The rain...almost as cruel as whoever was responsible for making you fall in love with a friend like Eddie.

A friend who's now calling your name — a yell in the distance muffled by the sound of the rain and of your breaking heart. You ignore it. You can't look at him. Not now.

He insists.

“Shit! You- you can't just tell me you love me and walk away! HEY!”

You avoid the hand that tries to grab your arm this time and keep walking across the parking lot as fast as you can.

But did luck ever stay on your side?

No.

Your head bumps right into Eddie's chest.

He holds you by the shoulders, palms gentle on your now cold skin, eyes gentler when you lift your chin up to look at him. You try to back away, attempting to squirm out of his grasp.

Not this time, though. Eddie holds you tight this time.

"Are you out of your mind?" he says, shouting to be heard over the storm...or maybe just because he's angry. "You can't just storm off like that with weather like this!"

Eddie's hands slide along your arms and then drop from your fingers.

He's taking his leather jacket off.

You take a step to the right to try and go around him, seizing the opportunity; he, however, steps to the left and holds the jacket over your head — as if you weren't already soaked from head to toe. As if he wasn't soaked from head to toe, too.

Eddie looks angry.

And too close.

Of course he looks angry, you think, I blew it.

“Eddie-”

“You're an idiot,” he says. “How could you just take off running like that? You could get fucking pneumonia out here!”

“I didn't mean to-” he's close, very close, and you feel silly, high, dizzy. Everything and nothing at the same time. The words you want to say are lost inside your mind like a paper boat drifting at the sea.

Eddie is still holding his damn jacket over your head like the goddamned gentleman he is.

Despite the closeness, you feel like you need to yell in order to be heard, your voice high and hoarse. “Just let me go!”

You try again and again, but he skillfully foils every one of your plans to walk away from him.

"No!"

"I am sorry! I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said that, I just…I just need some time! Just give me time and I'll get over you, Eddie, I swear, and everything will get back to normal and you and I can just pretend it never happened-"

In a heartbeat, he's tossing the jacket to the floor and his lips are on yours.

You gasp, too surprised, too tense, and Edde slides a hand to the small of your back, pressing you against his body with something akin to desperation — both of you so entirely soaked from the rain, so entirely frightened, so entirely in love.

When the kiss ends, it's because both of you are out of breath; Eddie doesn't let the space between the two of you grow any further, though.

“Don't get over me,” he pleads, pretty much breathing into your mouth, forehead against yours, eyes fluttering closed. “Don’t ever get over me.”

It seems like your heart is about to jump out of your mouth. He leans in again and you don't have it in you to do anything other than the same.

Letting yourself be kissed is easy. Too easy. It also makes it easier to forget everything that brought the two of you here — the confession, the feelings you believed were unrequited until now… Aubrey.

Aubrey.

You realize you broke the kiss and whispered her name when Eddie opens his eyes to look at you.

“I mean, you and Aubrey…the date…”

He squeezes your waist and laughs, "The date lasted 10 minutes before she told me the obvious."

“Obvious?”

His smile grows.

“That I love you.”

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie x reader #eddie x you #edward munson #eddie x y/n #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n

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mysteryshoptls · 9 months

Text

SSR Jamil Viper - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Jamil: As a supporter of the Land of Dawning National Museum of Art's 100th Anniversary Celebration, I've made sure to look into every single exhibit.

Jamil: If I recall, the next exhibit over should have a painting of the Sorcerer of the Sands on display…

???: That's a good look he's got there. Makes sense, though, this captures the moment he got his hands on that Very Rare mat he'd been searching a long time for, so.

Jamil: Idia-senpai, is that you over there…?

Idia: EEK! O-O-Oh, it's Jamil-shi. Don't just suddenly start talking to me like that…

Jamil: My apologies. I didn't expect you to be this startled just by calling out to you.

Jamil: At any rate, this painting is spectacular… It's overwhelming to see the real thing in person like this.

Jamil: He overcame countless ordeals and finally obtained the magic lamp that he had been continuously seeking for many years…

Jamil: This painting perfectly depicts the legendary tale of the Sorcerer of the Sands.

Idia: …He continuously searched for just one thing for countless years, huh. I think I can sympathize with him.

Jamil: Sympathize?

Idia: Ah, no, uh… I just meant that there was something that I wanted to have, no matter how hard I'd have to struggle to get it, is all…

Jamil: Something you wanted to have, no matter how hard you'd have to struggle for it, hm…

Idia: Th-The way you reacted there… W-Was there something that you wanted, Jamil-shi?

Jamil: Yes, I suppose I want…

Jamil: THE POWER TO COMMAND THE UNIVERSE.

Idia: HUH!?!

Idia: N-Never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth, sounds like something a middle schooler would say…

Jamil: I was just trying to mimic a quote that comes from the legends of the Sorcerer of the Sands, but… Looks like you didn't catch the reference.

Idia: Ah, so it was a joke… For a second there I thought we were similar, soz…

Jamil: No, there's no need for you to apologize… We were talking about things we want, right?

Jamil: There are many things I want, but… I suppose my current priority is networking.

Idia: Siiigh, so that's what you went with.

Idia: Still feel like I could relate better with you when you said you wanted "the power to command the universe"…

Jamil: In order to fulfill my deepest desires, I need useful…

Jamil: …I mean, helpful people with whom I can solidify and further my relationships with.

Jamil: After all, they say that the Sorcerer of the Sands also received assistance from many people in order to obtain that magic lamp.

Jamil: That is why I want to network and make human connections, so that I will never miss out on my deepest desires.

Idia: Yeah, I can get wanting to get your hands on a rare item as much as the next guy, but…

Idia: Leaving it to other people means they could end up betraying you. And it'd already be impossible to set up those human relations from the get-go.

Idia: But hey, since the Sorcerer of the Sands held the spirit of deliberation…

Idia: Maybe he was able to work with others the same way you think through things, Jamil-shi. IDK.

Jamil: If there were any similarities in the way the Sorcerer of the Sands and I thought, then I would consider that a high honor.

Jamil: In most legends, he is described as a man who was prepared for any possible circumstance that could arise.

Jamil: That is, in both the country's affairs, and his personal affairs.

Jamil: In order to become someone as great as he was, I will continue to improve myself with care.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Jamil: This is a painting of a bird. It seems what's depicted here is the hornbill that served the royal King of Beasts family for generations…

Idia: U-Uh-huh… Looks like it's spouting something of all smug-like.

Jamil: Perhaps he's advising the royal family on something… Or no, maybe he's just lecturing.

Jamil: From what I understand, in addition to being the king's chamberlain, he was also the prince's chaperone as well.

Idia: For him to lecture someone he serves like that, he's either got guts or is unafraid of anything…

Jamil: Well, if the prince was the type to do his own thing, or act without thinking, dragging other people around him into his messes…

Jamil: I think I also would have a few frank words to say to him.

Idia: Jamil-shi, doesn't it seem like you're bringing your own feelings into this?

Jamil: …You must be imagining it.

Jamil: Now that I think of it… I heard that this hornbill was once asked by the King of Beasts to sing lullabies.

Idia: H-He asked his stern chamberlain for lullabies… Sounds like the King of Beasts' courage knew no bounds.

Jamil: Perhaps he got along well with the King of Beasts, let alone the prince.

Idia: My vote is that he'd have him sing lullabies in retaliation for nagging him day in and day out.

Jamil: Haha, that's possible too.

Jamil: But even so… Lullabies, huh. I remember my sister used to pester me for them all the time way back when, too.

Idia: U-Uh-huh… What another lovely memory for you.

Jamil: I don't know what you may be imagining, Idia-senpai… But it absolutely isn't a lovely memory at all.

Idia: Eh, r-really?

Jamil: Yes. Even though I tried my utmost to sing her a lullaby to help her sleep…

Idia: She wouldn't sleep at all?

Jamil: That'd still be a cuter outcome than what would happen.

Jamil: She'd furrow her brow at me and say YOU'RE TERRIBLE AT THIS!

Idia: Gaha! Out of the mouths of babes, as they say!!

Idia: Oh, but you were part of the NRC Tribe, right?

Idia: So that should mean that your singing was good enough to be chosen by that Vil Schoenheit, right?

Jamil: Well, sure… Ever since my sister first made fun of me, I've practiced a lot. I thought I improved enough that I could sing in front of people without embarrassing myself.

Jamil: My sister was also watching the live broadcast of the VDC, so I said to her, "Guess you can't make fun of me for being terrible at singing anymore"…

Jamil: And she responded with, "What are you even talking about?"

Idia: So she didn't even remember she said all that!? H-Heehee… Jamil-shi, that sucks!

Jamil: Right, I felt like an idiot for overthinking it for years.

Jamil: Well, I guess all's end that ends well, since all that practice means that my grades in music class don't suffer.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Idia: Ooh, the painting we can see over there is of the Thorn Fairy. It looks like she's in a bit of a pinch surrounded by a ton of soldiers.

Jamil: Yes but look at her expression. Although there are so many weapons pointed at her, she fears nothing.

Idia: More like the soldiers are the ones who're scared of her. But, how did this situation happen, in the first place?

Jamil: They say that the Thorn Fairy held magical power so great that everyone prostrated themselves before her. That is why she is legendary.

Jamil: However, humans often fear those who have unfathomable power…

Jamil: So I'm sure there were some humans who would attempt to point their weapons at her in this fashion. Foolish, is all I can call them.

Idia: Uh-huuuh, I see. If it were a video game, I can understand getting all excited trying to figure out a way out of throng of people, but…

Idia: If I ever got surrounded by so many people IRL, I'd faint immediately.

Jamil: I'm sure you're just overexaggerating about the faint…

Idia: Overexaggerating!? J-Jamil-shi, are you saying that you could go up against a large group of people like that and stay composed?

Jamil: Hm, I would… I would come back another day and request to speak one-on-one with the king who commands those soldiers.

Jamil: Well, that's assuming that they are a king who is willing to have a rational discussion.

Idia: Oh, so you wouldn't be able to handle them like the Thorn Fairy would…

Jamil: Well, isn't she considered one of the Great Seven because she can accomplish things that ordinary people cannot?

Jamil: Not only does she harness great power, but she is also very big-hearted. If it were me, I would probably have retaliated against them.

Idia: Oh, yeah? What kind of revenge would you come up with? Make 'em stub their toe on a desk corner or something?

Jamil: Heh, perhaps.

Idia: Oh, that look in his eyes means he's definitely plotting something…

Idia: I-I just remembered something urgent I need to do, so I'll leave you to it!

[Idia runs away]

Jamil: Something urgent? What else could he possibly have to do here? As supporters we're just here to enjoy the art museum.

Jamil: Well, no matter. I was just thinking I'd like to look at the exhibits quietly without anyone else bothering me.

Jamil: "What kind of revenge would I come up with?"… Hm.

Jamil: Well, if it were me…

Jamil: I would make them feel abject humiliation in every possible way so they could never walk the earth with dignity ever again.

Requested by @bibi-cha.

#twisted wonderland #twst #jamil viper #idia shroud #twst jamil #twst idia #twst translation #twst birthday #mention: najma

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tarotwithlove · 10 months

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PICK A CARD 🪞ೕ how would your fans describe you if you were famous

in today’s pac we will be answering the following questions regarding your life as a famous person:

- why are you famous?

- what kind of fans would you have?

- how would your fans describe you?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · high priestess, judgement (reversed), knight of cups, seven of pentacles, nine of wands, four of pentacles, ten of cups, high priestess.

songs · deserve by lucky daye. levanter by stray kids. slide by øzi. amnesia by kai. amazing by mary j blige.

my dear group one ♡ you are famous for the character or characters that you create - characters in a video game in particular. you may be credited with creating a character that fans of a franchise quickly latch onto or are especially horny over.

i specificy “horny over” because pyramid head and lady dimitrescu are the two characters that come to mind and i think that most of us are aware of how the fans react to the two of them.

your fans will honestly adore and admire you. you may be far less known than your creation, and so the group of people who interact directly with you may be smaller and more devout than the people who just interact with your creation. the hardcore fans who interact directly with you online will send you art, headcanons, and questions in the hopes that you will acknowledge them - or because you often interact with your fans in that way so they know there is a high chance that you will acknowledge them. your community of fans will be a creative and artistic one. this will be a more practical form of creative and artistic expression, with your fans going out of their way to create cosplay that is as close to the source as possible.

many of your fans will describe you as the person who inspired them again - inspired them to create again, to get into a hobby or get into a hobby again, to go after a goal again. some may start posting their art or may apply to art institutions/for art related jobs, crediting you as their biggest influence behind this decision. your fans will cling onto you and describe you as someone that “must be protected at all cost” - especially whenever your tweets or posts go viral or your friendly interactions with fans start to get a lot of attention.

they may also describe you as someone who must be wise with their money, because you seem to live a good and well paid for life despite only putting out a small amount of work. they may also realise that you put out a small amount of work because you get paid a good salary for it - especially after this other character or game gained so much attention and renown - and because your main focus is family above all else. even if you do not post or talk about your family often (likely to protect yours and their anonymity as much as possible) your fans will often describe you as a “family man/woman first, game dev second” - or as someone they wish was their parent or close friend or family member.

GROUP TWO

cards · ten of pentacles, four of pentacles, seven of pentacles (reversed), ten of cups (reversed), three of cups (reversed), death, ten of cups, nine of pentacles (reversed), ten of swords.

songs · better by ama lou. unsteady by x ambassadors. video games by lana del rey. dear dream by nct dream.

my dear group two ♡ you are more famous for being famous, than for any of your talents. though this, too, is a skill all of its own. you may be famous because of someone you know or date, or because someone shares their platform with you and subsequently rockets you to fame (think, a popular tiktoker collaborating with you, a popular youtuber mentioning you in one of their videos, a popular twitter account retweeting you).

you may experience an emma chamberlain turn of events where you transcend from internet fame into real life fame - similarly, too, where people will look at you and wonder, “how is this person famous again?”. you may garner more fame for being an influencer and sharing your personal life stories publicly.

honestly, dear, it is quite upsetting to see the kind of fans you would have if you were famous. your fans may have a strong parasocial relationship with you, especially because of the way you became famous and because of your strong online presence. many of them will get a kick out of rooting for an underdog, and so, they may start to turn on you when you start to become more succesful and more well-known. one particular scenario may be common amongst your fans, where a tweet of them calling you mid, boring, mediocre (or anything to that regard) goes viral, only for people to reply and quote with this you’s of this person praising you months prior. you won’t even have done anything wrong, they’ll just start to feel bitter, jealous, and entitled. many of them will just start to randomly hate you. once you notice this shift, you’ll stop caring what other people say about you. you’ll continue being your authentic self and will start to consciously appeal to a different demographic of people.

your fans will describe you as someone who was able to make a name for yourself despite how oversaturated the influencer market is. they will describe you as someone who rose above and became real world succesful not just internet succesful, despite it all. there will definitely be a split between fans who genuinely support you and “fans” who will find every reason to hate on you. some may say things like “you don’t understand them” or “you’re just jealous and looking for reasons to hate them” - especially when people mask hatred of you behind criticism of meaningless things.

what’s coming to mind is the incident with madison beer that happened a few months ago, where people were “calling out” madison beer for dancing in a bikini on tiktok. people, of course, rightfully came to her defense and rightfully presupposed that the people who were saying negative things about her were likely jealous and insecure. similar things will happen to you. you’re attractive, talented, and lucky - your fans will describe you as such and rub it in the face’s of people who dislike you just for the sake of disliking you.

your fans will also describe you as someone who gets hated on unnecessarily. they would use that “i came into the house and everybody was like, oh, pretty girl, lets hate on her” meme a lot.

GROUP THREE

cards · six of cups, ten of cups, nine of cups, nine of pentacles, ace of swords, death (reversed), the devil, knight of wands, the world.

songs · cry by chester lockhart. poetic justice by kendrick lamar. coming home - interlude by kali uchis. fulton street i by la dispute.

my dear group three ♡ you are famous for doing something you enjoy or for doing something you have wanted to do since you were a child - and while that is incredibly broad, this is most true with regard to a field that has a high focus on restoration, the body, and physical performance. some of you are famous for being a part of a sport that asks you to push your body to the extremes - such as ballet or bodybuilding. while others of you are famous for your work as a coach (life coach or online fitness coach, just as two examples) or for using your platform to influence people to live a healthier, more active life. a lot of your fame comes from your ability to make yourself or your content stand out, especially in such saturated markets.

even if you are not the best, you are creative, refreshing, and relatable and know how to not only draw positive attention but keep it on you.

your fans are people who feel as if they are at the end of the road. they may have tried everything to feel better about themselves and happy in their lives, to little or no avail. that is, until they chance upon you. your story touches them, the way you carry yourself welcomes them, and the way you live your own life motivates them.

a lot of your fans may have bought countless self-help books before, tried countless diets or exercise plans, paid for countless talks, subscribed to countless accounts and channels, but could not fix anything that they see as needing to be fixed. again, until they come across you. in a way, you help your fans break their own toxic cycles.

your fans would describe you as someone with somewhat of a “no nonsense attitude”. you are honest about your own challenges and failings, and are always open to share the most difficult things you have experienced in life - however, you are also adamant in the fact that you have never let these things keep you down or stop you from achieving whatever you set your mind to achieving. something which is evident to your fans, even just from watching you from afar. your fans will say that this motivates them to work harder, to not give up on their goals, and to go after the life they want to lead. because if you can do it, why can’t they? if you kept persisting and saw your persistence pay off, why can’t it happen for them too? especially if you are a coach or offering one-on-one sessions, your fans will appreciate that you never ask them for more than you are also willing to give or you never expect them to do something that you yourself wouldn’t do or have not in the past down.

there’s an air of transparency here that your fans appreciate. they would recommend you to other people based on this. saying things like, “it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it,” and telling others that you are someone who can be trusted. i feel as if many of your fans will be grateful, above all else describing you as someone who helped them get their life back.

GROUP FOUR

cards · the tower, the magician, the world, knight of pentacles, ten of pentacles, ace of swords, six of cups, the tower, six of swords (reversed).

songs · tokyo drift by teriyaki boyz. advice by taemin. just look up by ariana grande & kid cudi. take me to church by hozier.

my dear group four ♡ you may be famous on an incredibly small scale - more of a niche celebrity with a cult following than a household name or anything similar. you may dabble in music, acting, writing, and social media and stay somewhat unknown for a long period of time. this level of fame may suit you most, too, because you have both your real life responsibilities and your artistic hobbies - both which give you a stable enough income and allow you to live your life to the fullest. you may just be a private person by nature, keeping a lot of your art for yourself and your loved ones.

however, greater fame may come to you suddenly and unexpectedly, with something you put out there or participate in suddenly blowing up and garnering a lot of attention. it may even be something you shared or were a part of a long time ago - such as a movie or song that suddenly becomes popular on tiktok.

your fanbase will start off as a chill, laidback one. they are a small to moderately sized group for the majority of your fame and, thus, quickly become familiar with you as well as with fellow fans. they may be people who gave up on their own artistic pursuits for the traditional 9-5 and family, and find solace in your own continued pursuit of art for art’s sake.

i feel like you would attract a lot of people older than you, around middle-aged. regardless of age, your fans would use your music (or whatever art you put out, though it may mostly be music) as a means to relax and unwind. they would also respect you a great deal and make sure to send you direct financial support even though you likely may never ask.

your fans will describe you as an old soul, and as someone who is humble and down to earth. this may be why you attract a lot of older fans, because the way that you approach art and evoke emotion is of someone far beyond your years. they may share your art with people close to them, such as with their families, and so you may have a reach far beyond your knowledge - i’m thinking of a pair of young friends hanging out when your song comes on shuffle, one asks the other who it is and the replies, “oh, this is someone my dad likes”.

your fans describe your art more than they describe you, which is something that you may also like. because your art is your art and should exist outside and apart from you as a person. when you become unexpectedly popular, your fans will be proud of you and happy for you (especially because many of them are living vicariously through you and have wanted this to happen for you for years), but will also wonder if you can handle all the pressure that comes with this kind of fame. when talking about you with others, they may say you feel like the kind of person who would just disappear once you became too famous. if they see other people interacting with your art, they may talk about how they knew you before you were so famous - reminiscing about the days when your fanbase was smaller and more intimate.

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number1villainstan · 3 months

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I just saw Dune Part 2 (2024) with some friends so here are some Thoughts i guess

I feel like on the whole these movies are trying to either downplay or cut out a lot of the misogyny/sexism in the book, although Herbert's view of gender roles is so pervasive in the book that it's hard to change without completely changing the worldbuilding (the Bene Gesserit especially) and/or certain characters and getting second-order effects that weaken or change the main plot. But they did a good job at least making it much less in-your-face and offensive than in the book. One of Chani's lines is about how "men and women are equal" in the Fremen, and while I don't really think that's supported by how the movie depicts Fremen I can see and respect where they're coming from

It's still a very male-dominated movie, but it's honestly pretty faithful to the book, and like--what are you gonna do? It's Dune. You can't exactly just genderbend Paul and get the same story, at least not when the Bene Gesserit are still what they are

wait now i'm thinking about an AU where the Kwisatz Haderach turns out to be a trans man. ideally you'd get both the canon critiques of white savior mythos/the Messiah trope and a deconstruction of the sexism and strict gender roles of the society of the Dune universe. also ideally you'd get a whole bunch of other queer characters in the same AU. you could also do an AU where the Kwisatz Haderach/a potential Kwisatz Haderach turns out to be a trans woman, or even nonbinary, but i feel like those would make for very different stories cuz AGAB/ASAB seems to matter like A Lot in the Dune universe

the movies did manage to completely get rid of the homophobic parts of the Harkonnens' characterization though. i did like that

although it was still using disability/deformity as shorthand for Ugly Evil Guy which :/

but enough about the Problematic Elements(TM) let's talk about the actual story

Chani was a lot more politically and generally assertive in the movie than I remember her being in the book, although it's been A While and she was also very much a Main Character who had thoughts and opinions and importance outside of the male characters she was affiliated with (as much as anyone can escape the political black hole that is Muad'dib but) AND! she actively advocated for Fremen self-governance in the beginning! although she didn't keep it up cuz she got sucked into the Paul black hole. this may have happened in the book it has been like two years since i read the first book and it was very disjointed reading cuz College(TM). I also liked the ending part, where it was implied that Chani was leaving, on her own, because she was angry with Paul, which implies More Character Development. (Also they didn't seem to do the Fremen polygamy/concubines thing in the movie, which was a good call, i feel like that part of the book was maybe informed by anti-Arab racism)

Jessica was incredible, of course. Love me a good ruthless woman. Her main character trait/motivation was definitely Paul's Mother but her main personality trait seems to be incredible ruthlessness. there is no madonna/whore complex to be found here no sir

(i may be wrong about that part but eh)

And of course the Harkonnen Blood reveal. the story definitely sets up Atreides as The Good Guys (fair, just, merciful, looking out for and caring about the people under their rule) and the Harkonnens as The Bad Guys (cruel, unjust, power-hungry and traitorous), which makes the reveal that Jessica and Paul have Harkonnen blood an incredible symbol of Paul's corruption arc. He goes from "I must do anything possible to avoid the holy war" (the Atreides way) to "CONQUER ARRAKIS AND ELIMINATE ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY" (the Harkonnen way) over the course of...technically years, in the book, although that wasn't super well communicated in the movie I feel--in the movie it was only months, cuz Alia hadn't been born yet by the end. And right before we see the worst of it we end up learning that Jessica, his mother, was a daughter of Baron Harkonnen. Jesus fuck.

there's definitely some Not Great elements about using ancestors/blood to determine morality but still

princess irulan was introduced! as an independent character and actor in her own right oh my god! although she still falls prey to the sexism infusing the original material

the dune books (at least the first two) are in this weird state where there are very strict and specific roles/walks of life that female characters are allowed in (domestic/family life and religion) and men dominate Everything Else and nobody every questions that, not to mention the whole thing about how apparently even the very female religion/psychic field is supposed to be dominated eventually by This One Man who can do it better than all the women, and yet all of the female characters are well-developed and feel like people. ykno aside from the complete lack of protest in being shoved into a sexist role

anyways irulan got more development than i remember from the books, i loved that, and that we got her POV too. these movies are really working to uplift and spotlight the female perspectives that were often somewhat sidelined in the books and i love that

also stilgar's (blind?) faith REALLY came through which i liked

overall, yeah, the movie was great. it's very faithful to the spirit of Dune while addressing some of its flaws/datedness--it understands what its message is and what it's saying, and the way it's constructed really hammers home the critiques of imperialism and racism the original was built on

I think this is gonna end up a trilogy, based on only the first book, and it very much seems like the third (and final?) movie is going to specifically focus on the war against the Great Houses after the Emperor falls, which iirc was kinda glossed over in the book/between Dune and Dune: Messiah. I can't wait to see what they do with it

#dune #dune part two #dune part 2 #dune part two spoilers #dune part 2 spoilers #dune 2 spoilers #dune 2 #also that one poster where it's paul and chani walking forward with the sun to their backs and chani is VISIBLY IN FRONT OF PAUL #frank herbert could never

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blindbeta · 4 months

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I've noticed that you are interested in stories with multiple blind characters and often propose adding more blind characters to a story as a solution. I really struggle with this because it's not as simple as that -- stories don't have infinite narrative space. The idea that every story has a large cast is influenced by the prevalence of long serialized media in fandom: webcomics, TV shows, etc. But many writers (myself included) write a lot of novellas and short stories which often only have a few characters -- maybe even only 1 or 2! Even novels don't usually have huge expansive casts -- maybe 5 main characters with some additional side characters.

Considering this, I don't understand how it's realistic for every story (or even, say, 50% of stories) to have multiple blind characters (without it feeling forced). This is compounded by the fact that most blogs that talk about other forms of representation say the same! So if I write a 2-character short story and the protagonist is a blind Latino man, does the second character also have to be a blind Latino man? It just doesn't make sense! This is just a general problem I've noticed in discussions around representation -- there's an assumption that every cast will have 10+ characters and narrative space to develop those characters, even though that's not realistic for most narrative forms.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Writing Multiple Blind Characters in Short Stories

Hi Anon! Surprise. I write short stories as well. I have experience with this. I have never felt like my blind characters were forced or unrealistic, even with having several of them in the same story. I’ll try to explain what might help you.

First, the idea that multiple blind characters is forced or unrealistic comes from ableism. Think about why you feel there is a limit on disabled characters. If you can create stories, I would hope you are creative enough to consider the possibility that multiple blind characters could exist in the same place and time. Challenging this barrier opens up more possibilities, allowing you to explore different types of blindness, different reactions to it, different upbringings, and multiple ways of living, adapting, and navigating being blind.

Second, blind characters need access to their own community. This is where they learn how to be blind. This where they get support. This is where they might find understanding and belonging. You can find more information about community here in an excellent reblog. Also, here.

As you mentioned, I often suggest adding more blind characters when writers insist upon using stereotyped portrayals. Having multiple characters with different experiences helps to make your story more realistic and nuanced, contrary to what people might implicitly believe. Having more than one blind character is something I highly recommend because it helps with not having all your representation rest on the shoulders of one character.

For example, if you are worried a main character who has cloudy eyes might reinforce the idea that all blind people have cloudy eyes, having another blind character with a different experience may help. If one of your blind characters is naive and innocent, you might have another blind character who is brash, displays a lack of trust in others, and has a lot of shocking stories. Maybe they’re in a rock band together. They met while playing blind football (aka soccer) on a middle school team. They bonded over their pet cats and sour patch kids.

Or something.

Another important thing to remember when writing is that you have control over the story. Too many writers come to me feeling stuck because they feel they cannot change their story while also wanting to incorporate my suggestions. This makes it challenging to address implicit bias or stereotypes, much less guide writers in going in different directions.

Additionally, I feel uncomfortable with the complaints about other blogs in this ask. I feel like this isn’t really about me, nor is it something I can comment on. I will say that it sounds as if a bunch of blogs dedicated to helping people write marginalized characters are mentioning some of the same things. They are probably doing so for a reason.

However, while it helps, writing multiple blind characters won’t improve every story, which I explained in my review of the book Blind. I was not impressed with this book. I did not feel that the four blind characters were very good, nor did having them help with offsetting the portrayal of blindness as a miserable experience.

Conversely, one of my favorite blind characters is Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Despite being the only blind character in the show, the writers did a good job with her. Would I have liked her to meet more of her community as she travels with the Gang? Absolutely. Even though I like her, she still never had access to her community after being isolated by her parents for so long.

So, no, you don’t need to have multiple blind characters if the suggestion bothers you this much. I even provided good examples of what to do, what not to do, and times where my typical advice was not as helpful for the resulting story.

However, please consider where these feelings stem from. Consider the origins of the idea that having multiple blind characters is unrealistic. Using the example you provided in your question, I wonder, would you say the same if both your characters were white and abled? Is there any way you can challenge the fear of seeming unrealistic? What about being considered unrealistic bothers you so much?

You don’t necessarily need to have characters in the story for them to exist. Even background characters can help. I will try to give some ideas for this:

Does your blind character have family they can talk about or remember? Are any of their family members blind?

Do they have any friends? Just because the friends aren’t in the story doesn’t mean they don’t exist at all.

Does the blind character have any formative memories or flashbacks?

Does the character who isn’t blind know any blind folks?

Your characters should have lives outside of the story. They should have memories and experiences that made them who they are. This is where you can have other blind characters. Perhaps this is how your blind character can have a community.

However, I would still like to see more blind characters interacting with each other. This is what I want as a blind person. If you don’t want to go that direction, that’s fine.

I hope this helps.

#blind #blind characters #writing blind characters #ask #scheduled post #writing more than one blind character #multiple blind characters #ableism #let blind people have friends and community challenge

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koolades-world · 2 months

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Hi :) is hug deprived anon no longer anon, back with another request (if you want to write it obv! No pressure, as always!)

So, this MC is pretty strong as humans go. A bit above average in height, isn’t chiseled and buff like Beel but does have a lot of functional muscle strength. The sort of person who was always the one people back in the human world would call on to lift heavy things, move furniture, carry boxes, etc.

Likewise, their personality is kinda like Beel’s—in that they’re generally helpful and protective, mild mannered, about as talkative as he is. MC grew up a bit too fast though. They were too helpful, given responsibilities before they were ready, put in charge of others because they’re reliable. Their peers and adults alike would confide in them about their issues when they were still too young to handle them well, which they took with the same gentle, old-soul competence that makes it easy for people to rely on them as always.

They’re used to carrying heavy things (including people) both physically and emotionally. Good at it, too.

But then, they arrive in the Devildom and make friends with the bros, helping them like in canon as this MC would instinctively do, but also… these demons are bigger and stronger than them. As much as MC still falls into the babysitter/therapist role emotionally for them, the demons protect MC physically.

This is a huge, life affirming relief to MC! It’s so nice to have other people to take over being the protective strong one for once! It’s so nice to have help! It’s nice to feel cared for.

So, how do you think the bros would react to this MC leaning into their demons babying them? Maybe eventually getting a bit clingy with them? Mc being like, oh, you want to help me? You’re protecting me, you’re carrying stuff for me, you’re genuinely asking how I’m feeling?? Thank fuck! Yes, I am babie, pls carry me

If all the bros are too much/impractical for this one, it’s also totally good if you’d rather write this with just Beel and/or Mammon. Lucifer could work well for this too, now that I think of him. Do whatever you like! Have fun! :)

hi!! great to hear from you :) thanks for always being sweet, it always makes my day to see you <3

decided to do beel, mammon, and asmo because I figured he could be fun to write and felt like he's almost an unlikely pick

enjoy <3

Strong Mc who enjoys being babied

Mammon

when he's around, which is basically all the time since you're attached at the hip, he doesn't want you to lift a finger

he's absolutely determined to make you feel special and treat you like gold

would give you the world if you stared at it for even a second too long

he doesn't care that you're taller or more buff than him, you're baby

you work so hard and he wants you to know that

please he'd stop a moving car or an angry satan if you asked

while he knows he's not helpful academically, he is willing to help you in any other way possible

you want to go shopping? take goldie from him you can carry her

you need someone to carry the bags? that's what he's here for

you need someone to tell you how your outfits are? he's got you

he's so whipped

Asmo

this seems unlikely but i think people tend to forget that he's pretty strong too

he's more powerful than beel and it's so funny to me to think that the little twink is more powerful than the body builder work out brother

he would take full advantage of this to catch you by surprise with hugs from behind that lift you off the ground

is overjoyed when you say you love them and that he can hug you whenever he wants

expect lots of surprise hugs

when the two of you are out in public, and someone is trying to both you for whatever reason, he won't hesitate to sock them in the face

while he hates to talk about his own feelings because of the implications that holds for him, he's very emotionally available for you

he will be your ultimate hype man

if you want, he will literally just carry you around while you nap, mindlessly scroll, or do whatever

he will continue on with his day as normal as if he isn't carrying you around like a baby

he's just underrated in general

Beel

to be honest, this is new for him too

it's rare for him to meet someone cut from the same cloth as him but he doesn't mind, and actually likes it

because of this, he knows exactly what he can do to help you, or ease your burdens

he knows how tough it can be to carry around something emotionally

always there to talk things out with you

or, he can be your shoulder to lean on

honestly whatever you need him to be, he can be

he's always willing to help and lets you know that

will give the best piggyback ride you've ever had, and will give them whenever

he understands how you feel and is glad he's able to give you the solace you deserve <3

#adhara!#obey me #obey me!#obey me x reader #obey me asmo #obey me mammon #obey me beel #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date #obey me satan

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delightfullyquirkydoodles · 11 days

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Okay, buckle up, friends and neighbours, because it's time for:

THE DOOPLISS DISSERTATION

(Obviously, you should take all of this with a HUGE chunk of salt, since I'm not only an internet-poisoned fandom blogger, but also a former English major with a penchant for over-reading.

Still, I spent a long time writing this, so I'd appreciate it if you gave it a read.)

So before we talk about Doopliss himself, I feel like we should talk about Creepy Steeple, since a lot of the topics I'm going to be touching on relate to the actual building.

Neither the original Gamecube version nor the Switch remake really bothers to explain what Creepy Steeple actually is.

None of Goombella's tattles say anything about the building's intended purpose. The name vaguely implies that it's a church of some kind -- in Japanese, it's called Odoron Jiin, or "Astonishing Temple" -- but that's still not very helpful.

Still, for the purposes of this analysis, I'm going to assume that it's meant to be a church.

This brings me to the Steeple's stained glass window, which shows a scary-looking Doopliss standing over some piranha plants.

From a design standpoint, I'm guessing that this detail was added to give the location a spooky vibe, but from an in-universe perspective, the implications are wild.

Like, who designed this? How long ago? And why? What the heck is it supposed to represent?

Unsurprisingly, the game offers no real answers, but I have a couple of theories.

The first is that the people of Twilight Town (or their ancestors, or something) created the window in Doopliss's honor.

Stained glass windows often depict saints or angels, so maybe the Twilighters used to worship him? Like, maybe Creepy Steeple was once dedicated to him and then, for whatever reason, the worshippers decided to leave?

It's not super likely, but I didn't want to rule out any possibilities. This is a weird freaking temple. Literally anything is possible, as far as I'm concerned.

My second theory is that Doopliss designed the window himself. He seems like a guy with a lot of spare time, so it's not too much of a stretch to say that he came up with the idea and then spent weeks building it by hand.

He could have also bullied the Boos into constructing it for him. I dunno. I just have this mental image of him pulling pranks on them and generally being a nuisance until they caved.

The bottom line is someone wanted to Doopliss's face to be front and center. And if that someone is Doopliss himself, then hoo boy, there is a lot to unpack here.

Maybe I'm projecting, but it feels like Doopliss is wrestling with some major self-esteem issues.

Despite being an incredibly powerful shapeshifter who somehow cursed an entire town, he seems very childish. He spends all his time watching TV and coming up with new jokes. He throws tantrums when he loses. He wears a party hat, of all things.

Based on that, I'd say that he's probably starved for attention. He's probably pretty lonely living in Creepy Steeple all by himself (doubly so if my theory about the Twilighters is correct).

I'd even go so far as to say that his scheme to turn the Twilighters into pigs is motivated by this need for attention. I mean, what better way to get people to notice you than to cause a town-wide panic?

I feel like the disguises he uses over the course of the main story also support this theory.

Though Mario, Zip Toad and Professor Frankly are quite different from one another, they all have one important thing in common: they're famous. Mario's a world-renowned adventurer, Zip Toad is a well-known actor and Frankly is a tenured professor whose students love him.

Doopliss even alludes to this after stealing Mario's body, telling him, "You're so popular around here! I just love being you!"

By transforming into beloved figures, Doopliss can get the attention he craves.

I also think that this is why he joined the Shadow Sirens. Sure, Beldam abuses him almost as badly as she abused Vivian, but at least she notices him. That's better than nothing.

The most conclusive piece of textual evidence is found in the epilogue. In her letter to Mario, Goombella explains that Doopliss has joined Flurrie on-stage in her production of "Paper Mario".

Obviously his shapeshifting abilities make the play a lot more realistic, but why would he bother participating in it at all? This guy was a villain for most of the game. Why would he suddenly decide to join up with one of his enemies?

Because, as far as I can tell, he's not a villain. Just a guy who's sick of being ignored.

I dunno. Doopliss's motivations have never been super clear, but I feel like there's more to him than meets the eye.

If you have any thoughts or ideas of your own, feel free to comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

#paper mario #paper mario the thousand year door #paper mario ttyd #doopliss #screw it. we're main-tagging this.#this dissertation was brought to you by my brother asking why i like doopliss so much. this is why.#he's just a silly little guy

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sentientcave · 2 months

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Heavy Weighs the Crown

Sometimes a Bearimy is many moons, and sometimes it's just a couple days! Do not expect this sort of pace to continue though this chapter was most of the way finished when I posted the first one.

Chapter 2 - Familiar and Forgotten

< Prev Chapter - Next Chapter >

Contains: Generic fantasy setting, Princess Reader, No Y/N, Some exposition, Reader's dad (deceased) was a real piece of work, Noncon kissing, Alcohol mentions, Smoking mention, Reader descriptions kept as neutral as possible but keep in mind that she is a character to me and does have a specific appearance so things might slip through.

~5.2k words

You don’t say much for the rest of the journey.

It’s not far, really, only an hour or two from the bridge in the woods, and your anxiety seizes you so completely that you can do little more than smile wanly at Kyle’s jokes and Johnny’s attempts to flirt with you. Ghost stays as quiet as you do, a comforting spectre of familiarity walking by your side.

The city is much like you remember it, but there’s life now, where a grim shadow hung over the people before. Windows are thrown open, laundry hangs on lines spanning between houses, brightly coloured clothes flapping in the breeze like flags. Children play in one of the alley’s you pass by, kicking a ball between them, although they stop to watch you pass, eyes growing big, collecting at the edge of the street so they can stare for longer. People begin to gather at the peripheries everywhere, the gentle roar of many hushed voices drowning out all else. It seems that the people here still recognize you, although you’re not sure if it’s by your face or the company that escorts you along.

The castle looms over the city, tall, imposing walls made a little friendlier with blue and silver banners hung from the parapets, the oppressive air lessened, but not entirely erased. You think that nothing could make the castle look truly welcoming— It never has been to you, not even when you did call it home.

Ghost looks at you as you approach the dark stone walls, and puts a big hand on your thigh. “Olright?” he asks quietly.

You nod, swallowing thickly as Nox’s claws scrape over the wooden drawbridge. It feels like the palace means to devour you whole, the shade of the main courtyard matching your somber mood. It’s greener than you remember, a raised garden bed full of flowers and a few small trees sits in the center of things now, directing traffic coming in around in a circle rather than every which way. There are gardens on the flat roofs of some of the outbuildings too, where they can catch more light despite the looming walls.

Nox stops in front of the stairs up to the main door, and Ghost lifts you down easily. When you look up, you notice there are people gathering around the main courtyard too, a gentle susurrus rising up around you like the wind. A stable hand approaches to take Kyle's horse, stumbling over his feet, too busy staring at you to watch where he's going.

"Standin' around with their gobs open," Johnny grumbles. "S'like they've ne'er seen a princess before."

Kyle thanks the stable hand when he passes the reigns to him, and offers his arm to you. "Are you ready, sweetpea?" His smile strains at the corners when you look at him. Your own face must be grim indeed.

"I'll have to be," you say, curling your hand around his arm, gathering your skirts with your other hand. You feel small and plain as you ascend on Kyle's arm, dressed simply in clothes you sewed yourself, glad you were wearing your second best skirt at least. Why that bothers you now you couldn't say-- Its not as though you're concerned with making a good impression.

Kyle leads you into the hall of judgment, where your father used to take petitions and settle disputes. It's different here too-- There are benches for supplicants to sit while they wait, and a few desks set to one side of the ante chamber, where clerks speak to citizens in hushed voices, helping speed along the process. There aren't very many people there really, it's not the tired crush of hollow eyed people clamoring for attention from a disinterested king now. Its organized, efficient, fair-minded. You can't help but approve.

John Price sits on the dais, listening to the man in front of him, but his stone-faced attention breaks when he looks up and sees you. He stands and hops down the steps, touching the man's arm. "I will send a hunting party to deal with your manticore problem," he promises. "But if you'll excuse me…" his blue eyes lock onto you, sweeping down and back up to your face.

You feel pinned in place by the intensity of those eyes, Kyle's presence by your side not enough to melt the cracking ice that settles around you.

"Princess!" John greets you enthusiastically, arms wide as he strides across the hall, meeting you in the middle. "Welcome home. I trust your journey was a pleasant one? It's a nice day for a ride through the countryside." He looks good, although there's silver in his beard and glittering by his temples that was never there before, and a plain silver circlet on his brow. He dresses the same as you remember, for comfort and practicality rather than for fashion, and he still fills out his clothes in much the same way, his broad, powerful body unchanged despite his new vocation.

"A better day for tending to the garden," you say. "But Sir Garrick rather insisted on the ride."

John smiles at you warmly, and Kyle wordlessly pulls away from you, leaving you standing before John alone. You're pulled into an embrace before you know what's happening, oak-solid arms crushing you to his chest. He pulls back enough to look at you, but he doesn't let you go. The pleasant tobacco and warm spice scent of him engulfs you, caged in his arms while he studies your upturned face. "You're more beautiful than I remember," he says. "It's good to see you."

You open your mouth to respond, but he seizes the opportunity to kiss you. Not a chaste press of lips to your cheeks, which would have been an appropriate greeting between two people of your status, but a kiss, a real one, his mouth slotting over yours like you were reuniting lovers rather than near-perfect strangers.

He kisses you for a long moment, lips moving against yours possessively, long enough for the room to grow unbearably silent around you, shame twisting with a childish flame rekindled the instant he put his hands on you. You push against his chest, and he finally comes to his senses, not releasing you or giving you more space, but at least ending the kiss, letting you breathe and sort out your conflicted feelings.

“Why did you do that?” you ask him, voice low and breathless, even if you would prefer to shout it, or perhaps punctuate the question with a slap.

“Because I wanted to,” he says pleasantly, smiling in that infuriating, cheeky way he used to when he caught you watching the knights practising from the palace windows. “I think it was long overdue, don’t you?”

“No!” You don’t want to admit, considering your age, that he’s stolen your first kiss, like it was something owed to him instead of yours to give when you chose to, and you certainly don’t want to admit that you liked it. You don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of the people still watching either, which is undoubtedly why he chose this as the place for your first meeting, where you would be cuffed by propriety, giving him advantage over you. Kings didn’t have to worry about propriety— Who was there to scold them for bad behaviour?

Had John ever worried about that sort of thing? Perhaps that was why your father had so militantly kept him away from you, not because of the threat to the crown, but the threat to your virtue. A man that would so casually waltz past all social convention would find no resistance from a sheltered, shy princess. Perhaps if you had been more bold— Perhaps if you were more bold now you would be able to tell him off.

“I don’t appreciate being plucked from my home and manhandled by you and your knights,” you hiss, plucking courage from thin air. You push against his chest again, and this time he lets you go, but it only makes you angrier, because you both know he only did so because he chose to. “What do you want, John? Let’s attend to business so I can leave as soon as possible.”

He glances behind you, at his knights, an eyebrow raised. “Well, you certainly aren’t going anywhere tonight, are you? We can chat properly over the evening meal.” He sweeps you along, a hand between your shoulders, where his thumb touches bare skin, toying with the edge of your shirt. “I’ll show you to your room, hm? You can wash up and change, if you’d like. Although I must say, this country mouse attire looks rather sweet on you.”

“I don’t think any of my old clothes will fit anymore,” you say tartly. You’re certainly not the weak, spindly thing you used to be, the sapling struggling to grow in your father’s shadow. Your time with Kate has done you good, made you stronger and filled out soft curves. Joy is expansive, and it takes up space that you never would have dared to occupy before.

“Of course not,” he says. “I’ve had new things made for you. Gaz’s sister reached out to Kate for your measurements.”

“Why would she— You had no right to ask for such a thing!” you say hotly. Now that you’re alone in the hallways, you feel more at ease speaking your mind.

He’s unperturbed by your anger, still smiling. “Perhaps not. But I thought it important to stand ready, should you ever decide to come home.”

“This is not my home any longer.”

John hums, his hand sliding down to your hip, tugging you closer to his side. “This will always be your home, princess,” he says matter-of-factly, like there’s no room for argument, the way he sees it.

He tries to follow you into your room, but you quickly shut the door in his face, nearly hitting him. He manages to jump clear, and you can hear his laughter on the other side. You’re getting a bit tired of these men thinking that it’s funny when you hold your ground against them, but you’re not yet sure how to get them to listen when they (and especially John) are so used to getting exactly what they want. It strikes you that you’ll probably have plenty of time to figure it out, since you don’t think you’ll be going home as soon as you'd like.

Kyle and Johnny seem like your most likely allies. And perhaps Ghost, since he told you more than he was supposed to already. Anyone else would be too worried about drawing the king’s ire and getting in trouble or losing their jobs, but those three aren’t just his knights. They’re his friends too.

And as far as you’re concerned, friends don’t let friends keep women imprisoned for indeterminate amounts of time.

You wash up, and parse through the closet for something to wear, frowning slightly at your options. There’s nothing wrong with any of the dresses you find— Everything is beautiful, elegant, well-made, in colours that suit your complexion, made of gorgeous, rustling silk. But they also all have closures at the back, long rows of delicate buttons that will be a nightmare to do up yourself. After so many years living independently, you resent the idea of someone having to help dress you. Perhaps that was why John tried to follow you, so he could be there to offer a hand.

How altruistic of him.

You fantasize about kicking him hard in the shins with the work boots that you sadly left at home, and choose a dress in a deep plum colour, getting as dressed as you can. You consider waiting to ask whoever comes to collect you for dinner, but you suspect that that might be John. You’re just about to wander out into the hallway to see if you can find a member of the castle staff to aid you, when you hear a shout outside, and laughter.

You press one hand to you chest to keep the dress from falling away from your skin inappropriately, and peer over the edge of the balcony. Johnny, Kyle and Ghost are in the courtyard below, Ghost and Kyle sitting on the fountain edge, and Johnny doing a dance that seems to be entirely hopping and kicking, while balancing a knife’s point on the tip of his finger.

“Excuse me,” you call down, smiling as prettily as you can muster. Johnny stops dancing and drops his knife entirely, but blessedly doesn’t try to catch it. “Could one of you give me a quick hand? This dress has so many buttons.”

They look at each other for a moment, and volunteer as one, Kyle and Ghost immediately falling into bickering over who should help you. Johnny looks at the ground and up to you a few times rather than fight with the others, and takes a running leap, fingers catching on the balcony floor. He swings a few times before popping up, catching the railing and clambering over with surprising grace. “I would be happy to help ye, sweetpea. An’ Ah’m sorry abou’, er, lickin’ yer wrist earlier. Was a wolf awl mornin’, cannae always shake the compulsion straight after a shift.”

“Apology accepted,” you say, reaching up with both hands and scratching the stubble under his chin gently. He leans into your palms with a groan, letting you guide him down to your level so you can kiss the tip of his nose. “I know you’re a good boy, Johnny. You were just excited.”

“I was,” he admits, cheeks turning a little pink. “They awl met ye before, and they talk about ye sometimes, ye ken? An’ yer even nicer an’ bonnier up close. Ah’m glad I didna try to lick yer face. Ye didnae look very happy with Price doin’ it.”

“He was very forward. It’s not the sort of thing I appreciate. I don’t intend to let him walk all over me just because he’s the king now.” You release Johnny’s jaw and turn so he can get to work on the buttons, pulling your braids out of the way over your shoulder. “It seems like he’s a little too used to getting his way.”

“Ah, weel, he’s stubborn as awl hell, sweetpea. No’ really his fault, he’s just righ’ more of’en than no’, ye ken? An’ when yer never wrong, ye never learn ta compromise.”

“Surely he’s not always right,” you say. “No one’s infallible.”

He laughs, fingers stalling against your back. “Yer righ’ of course. But Ah’m never the one to catch the old man bein’ wrong. So I dinnae ken if he admits it. I would be surprised.”

“Do you know what he wants from me?” you ask. “It seems odd that he let me live in peace all these years, only to drag me back now.”

“I dinnae ken awl the details, princess. Figure it’s sommat ta do with yer cousin raisin’ an army over across the western border, aye? Probably wants ye to scold the wee rascal for him.” He continues buttoning, and then stalls again. “Aw shite. Missed one.” You feel him begin to undo the buttons he was just working on.

You press your fingers to your mouth to stifle a giggle. “Sorry, I’m distracting you. Shouldn’t be asking so many questions.”

“Aw no, I dinnae mind none. S’nice ta talk ta ye. Always thought princesses’d be all stuck up and snooty. But yer no’ at awl. Ahve been ta yer story hour at the market once or twice too. Think it’s nice ye take pity on us buggers that cannae read well. An ye choose good stories.”

“I’ve never seen you there,” you say.

“Usually go in on four legs. No one minds another mangy dog, so long as I don’t get too close or growl at the bairns. Can hear better tha’ way too, aye? Blacksmith always let me lay down beside his shop.” He marches two fingers across your shoulder playfully. “Awl done.”

“Thank you, Johnny.” You turn to look at him again, regarding him thoughtfully. It doesn’t take much to turn him from a large, dangerous man to an eager to please puppy. Something to tuck into your pocket for later.

“Ye can call me Soap, if ye like. The lads do, most of the time. An’ the boss man. But Johnny is good too. Like hearin’ it from ye.” He looks a bit bashful, twisting his fingers together absently now that he has nothing else to fuss with, bright blue eyes cast down and half hidden by his long, dark lashes. “Ah ken it’s no’ what yer hopin’ for, but I hope ye stay a while. S’nice. Feels like there’s an empty space around here, and ye’d fill it an’ then some.”

“I’ll think about it,” you say. “I’m sure it mostly depends on how angry your, um, boss man makes me.”

“He’s no’ a bad sort.” Johnny instantly leaps to John’s defense, a touch of anxiety colouring his voice. He wears every emotion on his sleeve, another useful something to know. “Been good ta me, when lot’s of folk think I’m no’ much more’n a monster.”

“I’ve never heard of a werewolf that can shift at will like you do,” you muse. “You must have remarkable self control.”

Something dark flits across his face, but he does his best to hide it behind his crooked grin. “Naw, no’ really. S’a story, but no’ one I want ta tell righ’ now.”

“That’s alright,” you tell him gently, placing your hand on top of his. His knuckles are rough, scarred from a lifetime of hitting things hard. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. But I’ll listen, if you do want to talk.”

“Yer goan ta turn me intae a big softie at this rate,” he says, waving off your words with a laugh. “Come oan, Sweetpea. I’ll walk ye ta dinner. Figure ye know the way, but Ah’m told it’s polite to escort a lady.”

“Very polite,” you assure him, placing your hand on his offered arm. “Thank you, Johnny.”

His grin is infectious, and he puffs up his chest slightly, pleased as punch to receive your approval. You descend the stairs, picking up your skirts with your other hand so they don’t drag, and John appears at the bottom of the steps, his expression turning carefully, diplomatically blank when he sees you on Johnny’s arm.

“Perfect timing,” he says. “I was just about to come get you. Thank you, Soap, I can take her from here.”

“How very kind!” you return, gripping a little tighter to Johnny’s arm so he doesn’t run off just yet. “Johnny was nice enough to help me with my dress. All these buttons— I had no idea that button closures were the style these days.”

John’s eyes narrow just the slightest bit, like he’s not sure if you’re being earnest or not. “Nor did I,” he says evenly. Liar.

“It can be so hard to keep track of these things.” You send Johnny another bright smile. “Will you be joining us?” you ask sweetly.

Johnny looks at John uneasily. “Oh, n-no, I dinnae think—”

You curl into him slightly, placing your hand on his chest, drawing his attention back to you and away from the disapproving frown that’s beginning to form on John’s face. “Oh, nonsense. In fact, would you mind fetching Kyle and Ghost as well? We all had such a pleasant afternoon, and I feel like we’ve only just begun catching up.”

Johnny’s fingers catch on the lace hemming your trailing sleeve, his cheeks pink and eyes focused on your face. “Oh, aye, anything ye like, princess.”

“Thank you so much Johnny. You have been so helpful today. I really appreciate it.” You release him, and he dashes off without a second thought or glance to John for approval. “What a sweet boy he is,” you say to John as you flit to his side, all innocence, well aware that Johnny can still hear you. “Shall we?”

John gives you a searching look, still not certain if you’ve disrupted his plans on purpose or just by being far too sweet. “I had intended for dinner to be just the two of us.”

“Now John, that would hardly be appropriate,” you lightly scold. “The two of us, alone without a chaperone? What would people say? If I didn’t know better, I would think you were trying to put me in a compromising position.”

His lips twitch under his moustache, the ghost of a smile appearing in his eyes. “Perish the thought. Didn’t think of the implication, is all.” He opens the door to what had once been your father’s private dining room, but hesitates in the doorway. “Perhaps we should wait for the lads,” he says thoughtfully. “Since you’re concerned with the optics of being alone with me.”

You raise your eyebrows. “They’ll be along in a moment, no? I’m not sure what you think could happen in a few minutes, but I’m sure you’re capable of behaving yourself for that long.” You sweep past him, unconcerned, and he follows, letting the door fall shut behind him, the latch clicking shut loudly in the otherwise silent room. You cast about for a conversation that you can fling up between the two of you like a flimsy shield, your tongue suddenly heavy again. John has a way of sucking up all the air in a room, and he feels nearly as large and imposing as Ghost in a confined space like this. You don’t feel safe like you would with Ghost. You feel like a wobbly-legged fawn caged in with a blue-eyed wolf.

And you would feel less like that if you were in here with the man who really is a blue-eyed wolf. You don’t think the man standing before you will melt with a few kind words or a soft touch. He’ll only take it as permission to push you further.

“Your inexperience is showing,” John says conversationally, taking a step toward you.

You take a hasty step back. “How so?”

He takes another step forward. You take another back. The pattern repeats until he has you backed up against the mantle. “A lot can happen in just a few minutes, sweetpea.” His thick fingers curl around your jaw, forcing you to face him when all you want to do is sink into the floor or vanish entirely. “Could do anything I liked to you, alone like this. You’re right to be cautious.” His hand slides lower, callouses brushing your skin, raising goosebumps along the back of your neck and prickling all the way down your spine. His palm rests on your throat, so he can measure the nervous flutter of your pulse. You swallow nervously, and you know he can feel it.

Still, he doesn’t squeeze, and there’s no threat in his eyes. Worse, there’s a promise, and heat that could spark into a blaze with the slightest provocation.

“It’s a good thing you’re a man of honour, then.” You mean it as a challenge, a reminder of the rules of engagement. You came prepared for a game of chess, and he’s knocked all the pieces onto the floor and lunged at you across the board. Your words come out whisper soft, plaintive instead of confident.

“A good thing indeed.” He takes a step back, and then another, his hand falling away, leaving you standing by the mantle, clinging to it for support.

It was a good thing the fireplace is cold, this time of year, or you might be tempted to throw yourself in just to save yourself the embarrassment of being so completely set off balance.

“Here.” John returns to your side, this time leaving enough space for you to breathe, and offers you a glass of wine. White wine, like he remembers your preferences somehow. Your fingers brush his when you take the glass, and you try not to shake from the force of whatever it is that he stirs up in you.

It’s too vast to identify, and threatens to engulf you, swallow you whole. It’s an ocean, as deep and blue as his eyes, and you’re already struggling to stay afloat. You feel like the only things keeping you from drowning are your righteous anger and sense of self-preservation. But recognizing the danger he poses to you, to your freedom, if not your life, doesn’t pluck you from the water or save you from the circling shark. You don’t know how to do that. You’re not sure if you want to.

“I should apologize,” he says gently. “For greeting you the way I did earlier. I’d dreamt of our reunion so many times that it felt like the most natural thing in the world, kissing you like that. I should have better kept myself in check.”

You sip your wine. It’s sharp and not too sweet, just the sort of thing you used to like, and many times better than what you’ve had for years now. But the taste only reminds you of things best left forgotten, sour remnants of a life you wished to leave behind. Even this room, redecorated to another man’s preferences, feels as oppressive as your father’s presence in life.

Maybe it’s the weight of the crown, that bends and twists even the most upright men, because you already see the makings of a tyrant in John. So used to getting his way already, he expects you to fall into line, do as your told, take your rightful place at his side, on his arm.

In his bed.

“Are you going to?” you ask.

He’s confused by that, a frown settling between his brows. “Going to what, sweetpea?”

“Apologize. Saying you should apologize is not the same as actually being sorry.”

He’s entirely taken aback by that, rendered speechless. It’s probably been years since anyone checked him like that, and it sends a bit of a thrill through you to be the one to do so. He has the advantage in this battle you’ve waged against him— He’s larger and stronger, he claims authority that you’ve rejected, he has allies where you have none— but you’ve still managed to strike a blow, with honesty as your only weapon.

The other three men finally join you, snapping the tension in the room, clearing it away like cobwebs.

Well, most of the tension, anyway. You sit between John and Ghost, rather than take the chair opposite John. You have no desire to be forced to bear that heavy stare for the entire meal. Kyle and Johnny sit opposite you, and you maintain light conversation with the two of them. Ghost sits to your right, his mask tipped up enough for him to eat, his scarred mouth and jaw visible to you for the first time. His gloves are off too, revealing broad, powerful hands littered with fine scars, and a few deep ones too. Most of them are obviously blade wounds, but there’s a particularly deep one, a chunk of missing flesh between his thumb and forefinger on his left hand that keeps drawing your eyes back.

“Me’n Nox ‘ad a misunderstandin’ when we first met,” he says, unprompted, noticing your glances. “She took a chunk outta me. Was a good thing she was still small, or I’d’ve lost my whole ‘and.”

“Small!” Johnny says with a snort. “The wee beastie was bigger than me!”

“You were a runt,” Ghost chuckles, “but I s’pose she was still plenty big. Got ‘er talons sunk pretty deep in my thigh too. Got ‘er to listen to reason in the end though. She din’t know I was tryin’ to ‘elp.”

You see that same darkness in Johnny’s eyes as earlier, so you change the subject, asking about a burn on Ghost’s wrist. He starts in on a tale of hunting an outlaw mage, with plenty of interjections from Kyle, and then Johnny as well, until he gives up trying to tell it, and lets the younger men take over.

You feel his attention on you for a while after that, like he knew what you did and why.

John is pensive, still ruminating on what you said, quiet over the meal. It must not be that great a change from usual, because it doesn’t seem to bother the other three in the least. He insists on walking you to your room once the hour grows later, however, and leans against your door frame.

“You’re right,” he says, catching your hand so you can’t go inside and shut the door in his face for a second time that day. “I didn’t apologize. And I’m not sorry. I know I should be, and I won’t do it again, but I can’t say I feel all that badly about it.”

It’s something, at least. A concession, if not an apology. “Thank you, John.” He doesn’t let go of your hand, and his thumb is rubbing distracting circles over your knuckles. “Is there something else?”

“We never talked business.”

“No. But I know what you want, John, and the answer is no. I want to go home, I have a life to return to, and I don’t belong here any longer.” The disappointment is clear on his face, but he only nods. You continue, encouraged by his silence. “I will, however, make a public statement of support, in whatever way you need. I imagine my cousin will wish to send a witness, to ensure I’m not being coerced. I will stay until then, and then you will allow me to go home. Is that sufficient?”

He thinks about it for a moment, his thumb tapping against your hand now. “I suppose it will have to be.”

“Then it’s settled. Goodnight, John.” You try to pull your hand free, but he tightens his grip just enough to keep you anchored to him.

“Wait.” He tugs you a step closer. “May I kiss you?”

You roll his request around in your mind for a moment. He’s willing to accept that you won’t marry him, without so much as a fight. You can’t deny that you want to say yes either, and you have just enough wine in you to make you bold, but not reckless. “One kiss,” you reply. “No more than that. And then I am going to bed.”

He cups your face and stoops to meet you, pressing his lips to yours tenderly, without any of the brash possessiveness of earlier. Just sweet and slow, coaxing you to open up for him. You relax into his touch, parting your lips, a soft little whine escaping your throat, pulling an answering groan from him as he licks into your mouth. You have to grip his wrists just to stay upright, the sound turns your knees and resolve to jelly, the taste of good whiskey and smoke from his after dinner cigar lingering on your tongue as he pulls away.

His eyes are fever-bright, and his breathing ragged as you release each other. “Goodnight, sweetpea,” he says softly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

You slip into your room and lean against the door, knees still weak, desire simmering inside you. The kiss had been a bad idea, because all you can think of now is asking for another, and another, and another.

***

Image credits: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - Divider by CafeKitsune

#Fantasy AU #cod mw fanfiction #x reader #x fem reader #141 x reader #heavy weighs the crown #Uh oh sweetpea

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ask-the-rag-dolly · 6 months

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// y'know I don't think i would mind some character or ship analysis once in a while from you or anyone, iverarelyfoundanypostslikethisandiwanttoscream

i stare at you with wide eyes before beaming a very convoluted buttonblossom analysis straight to your face

i guess most of my problems with the general interpretation of buttonblossom in the fandom is that it really doesn't take to mind that ragatha's selflessness is her fatal flaw . she's a people-pleaser . while i do love the content of her comforting pomni i do think about how it just makes pomni seem like another responsibility for her to take .

which - i'm not saying it's false by any means ! i like to think at first pomni was like that at first because i think it'll take her a lot of time to truly adapt to the circus . but she seems like the type that wants to give back . even though she jumps into decisions without thinking twice , she still cares about the people around her .

also also . i feel like how long they stayed in the circus is also full of potential for character exploration ? ragatha's been here the second longest - she's kind of seen it all at this point , and she's firm about there being no exit . while pomni's the newbie !! knowing she was human before is still fresh in her mind and she has just met these people

which is why i went with the idea of her being a bullshit detector . not just for ragatha but that'll be a topic for another day .

she's the least codependent on ragatha and is not too used to her Bullshittery ( repressing emotions and being dishonest in general ) . so she'll pick up on all of it . and by god she's going to take note of every single one of them . her anxiety's going to make her also worry for the rag doll ... they're worrying for each other

the problem is that . ragatha's Stupid . she can't allow herself to be vulnerable or god forbid Take A Break because everyone needs her !!!!! she can't just give up on them !!! she keeps all of her problems to herself because everyone is already dealing with a lot , she can't burden them with her own !!!! so of Course having possibly one of the most unstable performers try to offer support is making her want to pull her hair ou t

cue bad communication . ragatha tries to convince pomni that she's completely fine on her own , completely oblivious to her sense for bullshit . pomni constantly tries to reach out , and ragatha keeps slapping it away - until one day the jester just grips her wrist and pulls her in with a " YOU'RE A DUMBASS !!!!!!! " revelation ensues and then they sloppily make out after idk

of course this is all my personal interpretation ..... .. just my own take ....

#[ ooc ]#[ ESSAY WARNING ]#buttonblossom

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zangtang · 7 months

Text

Everything can change at any point!

Create images here: https://www.bing.com/images/create?FORM=GENILP before i say anything else though: not following someone else's prompts means you'll likely find some wild and unexpected things yourself. If you follow my prompts like they're laws, you will only ever get results like mine. There are people doing much cooler, weirder things. Don't get restricted by this.

the site was VERY BROKEN for the last 6 days, you haven't been banned. You get 15 boosts a day which usually override any current downtime, but the popup thinks you get 25 a week, which is an indicator of how busted and poorly planned they were for this flood of users. It's not too hard to create illegal results, and there's millions of users, so it's very unlikely a human is ever looking at your results. Unless you're doing really spectacularly terrible things, of course. If you get the warning as soon as you enter your prompt, change the most controversial aspects of your prompt immediately, as repeats of this will get you suspended for increasingly long times. It is possible to make alt accounts with throwaway emails though. It's unconfirmed but it appears that US residents get priority access during US times, and UK residents can only reliably make things from 7am to 1pm for example. Weekend access is a crapshoot. I don't personally pay for ChatGPT so I can't say anything about the alleged priority access you get there, but even that can be slow and restricted during the worst times (I assume this will the their priority to fix though). There are many conflicting reports about whether it's more censored or not. Reports is a very fancy way of saying reddit comments.

Everything I superstitiously guess about prompts:

you can be very descriptive and write in natural english, or you can be very brief. both methods work, I suspect both versions do different things. repetition and restating the same thing in other ways also seems to emphasise (possibly.) Prompts can be quite chaotic and contradictory - you can describe a lot of things happening and it may surprise you, so have fun with weirdness! some words are "heavy" against the automated filters, and can be safe in one prompt and unsafe in another. think of it like buckaroo, the AI is trying to find meaning in your prompt and it will sometimes combine things and get mad about it. be aware of politics and words that may be used in erotic senses, and switch those up.

this is the format I use the most because i am super lazy and unimaginative. items in [ ] are optional and can be anything, and I don't know how the word order matters - in old Midjourney it mattered quite a bit according to guides, but now they're all pushing to parse natural english I'm not so sure:

[number of] [body type] [age] [nationality] [male noun or job] wearing [clothes], with a [size, shape] belly, [hair description], [pose], [location, time of day, weather, lighting, era], [facial expression or attitude], [actions]

The number of guys can be vague like "several." Also placing a number here will generally result in all men being fat. To add a second, very different person (even women! imagine the power), simply describe that in plain english later in the prompt. Try adding "with friends" or something and seeing what happens.

Mentioning body type is separate from mentioning that he has a large stomach because "fat man" alone doesn't make him very fat. also, the body type prompt will dictate his physical build underneath the belly - this allows you to make mpreg very easily, for example. Mentioning his belly separately also seems to be a key part in making clothes not cover it up. However, DallE has clearly gotten much better at this for some clothes, but not all of them. Formalwear is improving, though tactical vests no longer do the cute thing they used to do, and football shirts still ride up reliably. Nationality can be weird, and you can use it to exploit stereotypes, or it can be an eye-opening view of stereotypes from countries you barely know about - want to know what differentiates an Angolan man from a Kenyan man? Probably don't trust AI results! I suspect some countries are controversial due to current politics, and I suspect some are controversial due to fetishy stereotyping. However, if for example "English man" got censored, consider going for capital cities or famous regions, eg "London man." Maybe look up sports teams from that country. I'm a big fan of the "Italian-American" prompt but lately it's gotten quite a few results blocked, so I'd switch to "New Jersey," maybe even "New Jersey Italian."

"Handsome" may slim your results down, or even break the prompt entirely. Consider making your men footballers or rugby players, mention trendy haircuts, or using out of date synonyms to get round it. AI isn't all that likely to give you especially ugly results anyway, particularly if you specify ages under 40. It doesn't get the hair precisely right, but even a generic prompt like "short thick hair" can help. Giving your character a job may dictate what he'll wear, but you might want to specify what clothes you want anyway. Don't mention either if you hope he'll turn out naked. Certain jobs are tricky to use, as AI strains to be as unpolitical as possible - it doesn't want you doing politicians and it sometimes seems to refuse anything that might make the police or military look bad. However, it will accept "wearing a [colour] uniform/pilot shirt" very happily, because it's duuuuumb.

Mention trousers, footwear or even just feet if your results keep zooming in too much. (It'll also zoom in if you mention too much about his face, I think.) Side view appears to make certain prompts fatter, but will often mean he's looking away - you can add "Looking at camera" if you want that. Metallic and plastic clothes can have very fun and weird results, especially if you change the location to a night setting in the rain. Gladiator costumes will reduce his clothes to a few leather straps.

"Flex pose" and "strong pose" will get butch bodybuilder poses (it will also buff up the muscle mass) and "battling strong winds" gets very superhero poses. At least when I was trying these out, I found I couldn't actually get proper bodybuilder poses or mention of superheroes past the censor, but it's been a few weeks so who knows what it's up to now. Give them all a go!

Casual poses and actions can liven things up a little if you just want portraits but don't want it to repeatedly be the same thing facing you directly. Getting out of a car, climbing stairs, leaning against things, adjusting his clothes or putting on a coat, all these kinds of things work. Smoking or drinking does quite a lot. "Tired" or "Exhausted" changes his attitude a lot too, your leans get leaned into more.

Contact words can be a little difficult, so consider ways to exploit using soft contact, or be very wordy and detailed about it so it's not misinterpreting you. "Patting him on the back" is a fairly safe phrase, but DallE isn't intelligent, so it will allow the contact but it will struggle to be precise, especially when the bodies are fat or not positioned in a way they can reach the back - the result of this is that there will be a lot of belly pats. Prodding in the stomach, pointing at the stomach, these both work, but I think DallE is vague about stomach=torso and you may want "pointing at his belt" to give a lower focus. Admiring can direct attention and vibes, whispering will draw their heads closer and make them interact somewhat. Embracing and hugging work but is very heavy for the censor, "hugging on his shoulder/belly" seems safer for some reason. Shaking, grabbing, "examining/concerned about his belly" can work. Bizarrely, squeezing past another man in a narrow corridor/doorway/cupboard works if you want a LOT of contact. And if you want unpredictable contact, fighting can work.

For more dynamic safe contact, try sporting actions. Baseball slides, football tackles, that kind of thing. It's hard to get them to lie flat and the AI seems to resist allowing heads to touch the ground, but "lying in a hammock" works pretty well, and sometimes specifying what the head is touching works. pretty much every minor prompt variation and scenario I've ever used:

"falling onto a broken chair/breaking an object with his weight" "washing windows" "with waiters helping him up" "with friends bringing him food" "falling over another man" "outside of a skyscraper washing windows, harness for safety, hoisted" "hyper-obese man wearing denim dungarees with an enormous inflated belly, drinking from a hose" ("blowing into a hose" gets better expressions for that IMO) "stuck in a broken narrow red british phonebooth with another man, bursting out with his enormous belly, black trousers" "bent over eating at a pie eating contest wearing a dirty white tank top with an enormous round belly and his face hidden buried in messy pie" "sitting on a throne next to a very fat 35 year old spanish monarch" "lying on his back the floor, enjoying a banquet, side view, tired expression" "very fat 35 year old handsome british man wearing tracksuit and gold chain with a hugely distended beerbelly, man with a massive round stomach, washing his car in a carpark at night side view" "at water park, stuck in a water slide" "before and after weightloss picture, in the left he is X and in the right he is Y" "with a large round belly spilled over eating at a banquet with an enormous round belly, bronzed, with waiters helping him up/being prodded with a fork" "washing dishes and leaning over his belly on a freestanding enamel pedestal basin" "climbing and leaning against a stepladder to change a lightbulb on the ceiling [with friend holding the stepladder steady]" "side view, photo of two 40 year old beefy handsome fat italian-american rugby player with a hugely distended round belly, resting hand on his chest, wearing a tracksuit with a gigantic round sagging stomach, gold chain, raining, whispering in a car park at night, leaning/hugging on shoulder, tired, stern expression looking at camera, smoking a cigarette" "side view photo of two strong 40 year old handsome samoan rugby player with a hugely distended round beerbelly, chest hair, wearing a white formal shirt and black suit, hugging on his belly, proud expectant father, boyfriends outside a busy pub at night, stern, looking at camera, raining" "two fat los angeles rams handsome footballers wearing white pilot shirt and plain tie and black trousers pushing through a narrow saloon door with their enormously distended beerbellies, stern" "photo of very fat 30 year old hunk rugby player with enormously distended belly, carrying his belly in a wheelbarrow" "very fat 35 year old man wearing white pilot shirt with an enormous round belly, tough man with a very large beerbelly, too fat for small broken airplane seat sitting on another man, fat belly spilling over armrest and pressing against over man, black trousers, slightly concerned, suave" "being carried on the back of a flatbed truck" can turn them into horrific lardvalanches but you don't get much control over it

original characters do not steal prompts: "30 year old man who looks like he's the main character from the game Uncharted with an enormous distended round beerbelly, with one hand on a bar in a pub, nathan" This is sometimes surprisingly effective, but most often it'll simply draw vibes from the IP mentioned, so you can use it to get specific settings at least

Try spelling the names wrong or reversing the name order - sometimes it'll even accept names sprinkled throughout the prompt. Repeating the name may increase its effect (it might also not!) Also it's speculated that placing the celebrity fraud in a place or situation they would normally be found in helps. That said, I could only get a Robert Downey Jr if I made him dress as a gladiator. So maybe weirdness and ingenuity are your strengths. see also https://www.tumblr.com/baron-bear/731903035856584704/what-do-you-use-for-your-ai-stuff

#fat ai #fat ai man

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rollinouttahere-writes · 1 year

Text

Lucky Break Chapter 2

Yandere Straw Hats x Reader

5k Words

Beginning / Previous / Next

It’s fortunate that Orange town isn’t very big. You weren’t running around for long before you saw a crowd of people partying, and much to your horror, Luffy was there. In a cage, and tied up with rope.

Creeping closer, you take note of everything going on around him. That giant ship you saw earlier is there too, so you can assume that the people holding him hostage are also pirates if their flag is anything to go off of. You’re not sure why they’re all so jovial right now, but you’re hoping that you can use this party they’re having to get to Luffy undetected.

Part of you wasn’t sure about this. It would be very easy for this to go wrong and for you to get into serious trouble. You may not personally know these people, but if they’re keeping someone in a cage, you can assume they aren’t exactly friendly. Still, regardless of the risk, it doesn’t feel right to not try and help Luffy. Especially not when he’s offered to help you despite possibly having nothing to gain from it. Even if it’s scary, you have to help him.

There’s at least one obvious problem here, you majorly stick out from these pirates. The general fashion around here could best be described as sea-faring-clown-chic, so your normal clothes made you stand out significantly. You inch a bit closer and are relieved to find an abandoned, colorful jacket. Hastily, you slip it on and untie the (still damp) bandana from your wrist. You fasten it over your head to hide your bandages, no use in trying to blend in only for your injury to call attention to you.

After checking to make sure the coast is clear, you crawl over to the cage Luffy is in. He lights up the second he notices you, “Hi Lucky! What are you doing here?”

Oh yeah, just announce your presence, why don’t you?! You shush him, “Keep it down! Why are you in a cage?” At the very least, he looked too chipper to be seriously hurt.

“Nami said she would be our navigator if I helped her out, so here I am! Not sure what the plan is though,” he says all this extremely casually, like this was the most normal way to add someone to his aspiring pirate crew.

“Who the hell is Nami?”

Luffy scooted around until he was facing a big tent close to the ship, “She’s over there, the girl with the orange hair. She’s a thief that steals from pirates, but she promised she would join us if I did her a favor!”

You couldn’t help the incredulous look that spread across your face. Surely he isn’t that naive! How did someone play him this damn hard over the course of like half an hour since you last saw him? “Luffy, she obviously tricked you!”

“You don’t know that! Just give her a chance, it’ll probably all work out,” he was way too relaxed and confident about this. “Hey, since you’re here can you go get me some food? No one’s bringing me any and I can’t reach it.”

Paying his request no mind, you cut to the chase, “Luffy, focus, do you know where the key to this cage is?”

He tilted his head and hummed as he thought about it, “Hmm, I think the captain has it, he’s the one who put me in here. He’s that guy with the big red nose!” Luffy motioned his head towards the tent Nami was in. You looked over and saw him. You’re pretty sure he is genuinely a literal clown. You can’t decide if that’s going to make stealing a key from him easier or harder.

How are you supposed to slip into a tent and check his pockets for a key? You’re trying to avoid being noticed, so that’s going to be very counter intuitive. Oh well, you’ll need to figure something out if you want to get him out of there. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

You try to leave and make your way closer to the tent, but one of Luffy’s hands clamps onto your ankle. “You’re going the wrong way,” he states plainly.

Oh god, his arm is doing that stretchy thing again. It takes all you have to not shudder at the disturbing visual. “What do you mean? I need to get closer to where he is.”

“Not that! I’m hungry, go get me some food, please!” He was full on whining now, giving you the most pitiful puppy eyes you think you’ve ever been subjected to.

“Seriously?!”

He nods his head with fierce determination, “I’m very serious about food! Oh, and make sure it’s meat!”

He’s looking at you expectantly and has made no move to unhand your ankle. Groaning, you comply and agree to get him his damn food. He is currently a prisoner, but his top priority is somehow food.

Much to your chagrin, the nearby table with all the food has a lot of people milling around it. Hopefully, if you keep your head down, grab the food, and go, no one will pay attention to you. It’ll totally be fine! Just act normal and like you’re supposed to be here and no one will look at you twice!

You casually strut up to the table, hoping to grab and go. You’ve barely even touched the meat before someone behind you speaks up.

“Who the hell are you? And why are you wearing my jacket?”

A chill runs down your spine. Oh god how could you let yourself get caught this quick? Now you’re gonna get thrown into the cage with Luffy. No! You can’t give up that easily, there has to be a way out of this.

Taking a deep breath, you put on the most annoyed expression you can and turn to face the owner of the voice. He looks hungover as all hell and is clearly pissed that you took his jacket. You scoff at him, “Are you shitting me?”

Your sharp reply takes him a bit off guard, “Wha- No, I’m not ‘shitting you’! Who even are you?”

“Seriously? I just told you my name last night and you already forgot it?” If he looks this hungover, that must mean he got really drunk last night. Hopefully, you can use that to your advantage.

“You did?” His eyes trailed upwards, visibly wracking his brain for any memory of such an event.

“Yeah,” you snap at him. “Right after I joined. Quite the warm welcome I’m getting here, being forgotten and then having you cop an attitude with me.” You cross your arms over your chest and scowl at him.

“Is that why we were partying so hard last night?” He said this so quietly that you doubt he’d meant for you to hear it. “Wait, that still doesn’t explain what you’re doing with my jacket! Give it back!”

You slap his hand away when he makes a grab for it, “Hell no, I won this fair and square from you! If you didn’t want to lose it, you shouldn’t have bet it during our drinking competition. That, or maybe learn to hold your liquor better, lightweight.”

His face flushes at this, “Oh come on, I just got that after losing my last one!” He ran a hand down his face, muttering something along the lines of ‘this can’t keep happening’. Pleadingly, he looks at you, “Please give it back, I’ll make it up to you I swear!”

“No, I don’t think I will. I like this jacket, thank you very much,” you don’t like it, the colors are downright obnoxious, but you need this to blend in. Hopefully it’ll work better now that the person who it belonged to is out of the way.

Confident that you’ve successfully pulled off the greatest gaslight of all history, you grab some food and make to leave, but he calls out, “Wait!”

Shit! Did you not have him convinced? “What now?” You hissed at him.

He put his hands up in front of him defensively, “Calm down, I just wanted to ask what your name was again. I promise I won’t forget it this time!” The poor guy actually looked like he felt bad, you were starting to feel a little guilty for gaslighting him as hard as you just did.

Shifting your (Luffy’s) food to one hand, you extend your hand to him, “Just call me Lucky.”

“Lucky! Yeah that’s right, I remember now!” He lied through his teeth as he accepted your handshake. “Mine is Piero, I don’t know if I told you that or not.”

“You did, but thanks anyways, I guess,” you say dismissively.

Finally, it seems your passive aggressive attitude paid off, and he quickly excused himself. You let out a dramatic sigh of relief, almost not being able to believe you pulled that off. Now you’ve got someone on the inside that’ll vouch for you if anyone else questions your presence.

You scurry back to Luffy, who had managed to slip out of the ropes since you left him. Excitedly, he stretches his arms out to grab the food before you can even get all the way over to him. He barely gets out a ‘thank you’ before he’s inhaling what you fetched for him. At the rate he’s going, it’ll be gone in like 2.5 seconds.

Not wanting to get roped into another food run, you hurry away from him and towards the tent. Your plan for now is to eavesdrop a bit before making a real move. You grab some food and water, and make yourself comfortable on a barrel near the flap of the tent.

While you mostly got something to eat to help make you look more casual, you couldn’t help but scarf it all down at almost the same pace as Luffy. You hadn’t realized just how hungry you were until you took your first bite. It tasted great too, but it’s hard to tell if it’s actually good or if you’re so hungry that anything would taste like a fine dining meal to you right now.

Nami and captain clown were talking, but it was hard to understand what they were saying with all the background noise. Despite allegedly having a big blowout party last night, they were having another one today which made it basically impossible to pick up on a quiet conversation.

Chugging the last of your water, you inch even closer to the flap and lean in to hear better. It didn’t help much. You still have no idea what’s being said. Maybe you catch a word here and there, but it’s not enough to really help you.

Against your better judgment, you lean against the fabric a little bit more, but it comes loose and you tumble head first into the tent. Right in front of the captain who is going to be way harder to fool than some random shiphand.

Him and Nami gawk at you. You stare back, frozen temporarily from this stupid mistake. No, no, no, this is really bad! You force out a laugh, “Hahaha, oops! Sorry about that, captain! I’m so clumsy!”

Your attempt to stand and run away ends before it can even begin. Your leg is tangled up in the fabric from where the tent came apart. ‘My christ this is going terribly,’ you internally curse at yourself, frantically trying to get your leg loose.

Your panic only increases when the clown stands and stomps his way towards you. The second you freed your leg, you were grabbed by the front of your (stolen) jacket and yanked to your feet. He loomed over you, and all things considered, was surprisingly intimidating. “Captain? Why would someone who isn’t in my crew be calling me captain?”

Welp. Here goes nothing. “Because I am in your crew? I know I just joined, but you didn’t forget about me, did you?” You weren’t bold enough to try the aggressive approach again.

His eye twitched in annoyance, and brought you way closer to his face than you ever wanted to be, “What are you trying to pull? Do you think I don’t know who is and isn’t in my crew? Do you think I’m stupid?” He all but snarled at you. Shit, this isn’t working as smoothly as it did with Piero!

“I-I’m not trying to pull anything! I mean we did party pretty hard last night, I’ve already had to reintroduce myself to several people today!”

He quirked an eyebrow at you, but didn’t say anything, so you continued talking, “Yeah! You can go ask Piero, we were talking just a minute ago!” You’re not sure that relying on someone you were pretty mean to was smart, but you were panicking.

The clown laughed at this, he laughed so hard that he dropped you and clutched his sides as he cackled, “Piero? Anyone could convince that drunk they’re a part of this crew!” You were frantically crawling backwards to try and get away from him, but he stepped forwards and dug his heel into the jacket to stop you. “Who else can vouch for you, hm?” He had a huge condescending smile on his face, absolutely positive you wouldn’t be able to deliver.

Having made it just outside the tent, you whip your head around looking for any possible way out of this. Not far away from you, you spot your best chance.

“Richie! R-Richie knows me!” The lion perks up at the mention of his name, peering over at you. As odd as it sounds, it kind of makes sense that he’s here. Somehow, your current situation is so bizarre that a lion being a part of a group of clown pirates is the most reasonable explanation for why it’s here.

“The lion? You want a lion to back you up?” He looks absolutely dumbfounded at your choice, and you can’t blame him. In any other scenario, you would think this is the dumbest thing ever, but this isn’t exactly a normal situation now is it?!

You aggressively nod your head, “Yeah! It’s not like he would accept just anyone!” He would if food was presented, but he didn’t need to know that, “S-So if he recognizes me then you’ll know I’m telling the truth!”

He stares incredulously at you for a moment, then smirks, “Alright, go ahead. If he doesn’t eat you then I’ll believe you.” He gestures for you to go approach Richie while snickering.

Despite your previous encounter, you couldn’t help the pit of anxiety in your gut as you approached the lion. Sure, he was nice after you gave him some food, but you didn’t have any more food on you right now. For all you know, that alone would be reason enough to tear into you.

Richie watched as you approached, tail flicking back and forth as you got closer. Out of the corner of your eye, you see some guy (with bear ears on his head?) watching this interaction curiously.

“H-Hey buddy, remember me? We’re still cool right?” He tilted his head at your words, and leaned forward slightly to sniff at your hand that you had extended towards him. You stare unblinking at the animal, praying that he doesn’t start acting the way an apex predator should and rip you apart.

Instead of ending you, he simply licks your hand and rolls over onto his back. Once again, all your survival instincts are replaced with the burning desire to pet a cute animal. “That’s a good boy! I knew you remembered me!” You cooed at him while vigorously petting his exposed tummy.

You hear gasping behind you, “Richie??? You don’t even let ME give you belly rubs!” Bear ear guy cried out.

Looking over your shoulder, you see the captain slack jawed. Evidently, he had not anticipated that this would actually work in your favor. Finally, you see a flash of uncertainty in his eyes. You might be able to pull this off after all.

“Such a sweet boy! At least you didn’t forget about me!”

“Captain Buggy, who is that?” Buggy? That’s the captain’s name?

Buggy stomped over to you and dragged you to your feet again, “What the hell is going on with you? Who are you?”

“My name is Lucky, and I already told you that I joined your crew yesterday. You said that you would believe me if Richie didn’t turn me into a snack,” you were irritated that he was still pressing the issue. Why couldn’t he just go with your lies and move along?

“I’m the captain, if I want to keep questioning you then I will,” he snapped back. As he says this, your eyes are drawn to a key dangling from his belt. That must be the key to Luffy’s cage! It’s so close too, you need to find a way to get it off him without being noticed.

“I did what you said, stop sticking your nose in my business just because you forgot!”

Gasps resound around you, immediately making you question if this was a bad move. Glancing around, you see all the merriment has come to a screeching halt as they all stare at you. Some are violently shaking their heads, like you just said something wrong.

“Whaaaaat?!” Buggy shrieked. “Did you just say my nose has bigness???”

“Huh?”

“You did! How dare you?!” His voice is so high pitched now that you’re sure he’s only going to be heard by dogs soon.

“No I didn’t! I told you to keep your nose out of my business!” You over enunciate every syllable in hopes that he won’t mishear you so severely this time around. It was a lost effort.

“You said it again!” He was now shaking you back and forth in rage.

Pain shot through you with each shake, your head was throbbing right now. This was so stupid. You almost had him, and then it all goes to shit because he keeps mishearing you. You can’t let your cover get blown so stupidly! Luffy is depending on you and you have no idea where Zoro is! You’re going to have to make a bold move if you want to get that key.

Grinding your teeth, one of your hands snap forward and grab his shirt. You yank him towards you, so close that your noses are now touching. His eyes shoot wide open and his screeching stops. “Listen to me! I didn’t say a damn thing about your nose, you made that up so you could have something to get bent out of shape over! It’s not my fault you’re embarrassed that you forgot about me, so quit trying to turn this around and make it a me problem!”

It is dead silent. You could hear a pin drop from across town, you’re sure of it. Everyone is watching you two with varying levels of abject horror. Buggy’s face was already tinted red from yelling at you before, but now it was so flushed that it was blending in with his nose. His fists, which were still clutching onto your jacket, were shaking.

You could only pray that this wasn’t the dumbest move you could have made. For all you knew, this guy would kill you for this transgression. God, you hope he can’t hear your heart pounding out of your chest right now.

Finally, he shoves you off of him and spins on his heel to stomp away, “Fine! But you’re on thin ice, Lucky!”

Everyone was staring at him as he left with their jaws damn near on the ground. You cannot believe you just pulled that off. You decide to slip away while they’re distracted, not wanting their attention to turn to you. You’ve already garnered way more attention than you ever wanted to, all you want to do now is free Luffy and get the hell out of here. Now that you’ve got the key in your pocket, that should be easy enough.

Before you can make it back to him, someone grabs your arm and yanks you into an empty tent. Oh, come on! You whirl around to give whoever did this a piece of your mind, but froze when you recognized her as the orange haired girl Luffy told you about.

“Nami? What do you want?”

Her expression morphs into one of shock, “What? Wait, how do you know me?”

“Luffy told me about you,” and how she tricked him, not that he’d figured that out yet.

“You’re with him?” She gave you a once over, “There’s no way you’re a pirate, you look completely out of place.”

“What’s it matter to you?” You huffed and crossed your arms, glaring at her, “Look, if you don’t want anything, then I need to get going.”

Nami purses her lips, thinking over what to say next. She sighs before continuing, “I just wanted to know why you had enough of a deathwish to try and pick a fight with a pirate, but I suppose I know why now.” She pinches the bridge of her nose, looking terribly annoyed by the situation, “If I were you, I would leave while you can. Get out of here before you get hurt.”

“I plan to, but not before I get Luffy.”

Nami’s eye twitches, “Leave him too, nothing good will come from associating with a pirate. I don’t know how long you’ve been with him, but look at you! You’re lucky that Buggy didn’t kill you a minute ago!” She snatches your loosely tied bandana off your head, “Not to mention whatever happened to earn you that!”

You grab onto the bandana and try to pull it out of her hand, but she just holds onto it tighter. “Mind your own business! He’s helping me out, so I’m going to help him too whether you approve of it or not,” you told her very matter of factly. Who is she to tell you what to do?

She lets go abruptly, causing you to stumble back. For a moment, she fixes you with a hard stare. Then, she shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders, “Fine, do whatever you want. Don’t come crying to me when it comes back to bite you.” She walks past you and leaves you alone in the tent.

You’re not sure what that was all about. Nami really had nothing to gain from telling you to leave, so you can’t fathom what compelled her to pull you aside like that. “It doesn’t matter,” you mutter under your breath as you put the bandana back on. For now, all you need to worry about is getting Luffy out of his cage and finding Zoro so you can all leave. This place isn’t that big, so Zoro should make his way over here soon enough if he hasn’t already.

Feeling confident in your plan, you step out of the tent and look over to where the cage is, only to find a cannon pointing right at it. That wasn’t there before!

Your stomach drops at the sight, and your heart rate spikes again. Dammit, how can this many things keep going wrong all at once??? Looking at who’s standing by the cannon, you spot Nami. What?! Was she telling you to back off because she wanted to blow Luffy the fuck up???

You want to run up and stop her, but several of your “crewmates” stop you. “Sorry, Lucky. I know you probably want a chance to use a buggy ball, but that Nami chick needs to prove herself first,” one of them has an arm around your shoulder to keep you in place and another has an arm linked with yours.

It’s finally dawning on you just how dangerous pirates can be. It’s one thing to think about how they could hurt you, it’s another to see them cheering someone on to kill a guy with a fucking cannon. If Nami wasn’t the one about to light the fuse, you would think that her previous talk with you may have been genuine concern. These guys were insane!

Nami makes eye contact. Much to your relief, you can see her hesitating. Frankly, she looks sick at the thought of setting it off. You shoot her the most pleading look you can while trying to shake off the people holding onto you.

Luffy, bizarrely, looks entirely unconcerned. He’s just watching Nami with a blank expression, which then switches to a more coy one. You can see his mouth moving, but can’t make out his words over everyone chanting around you.

Apparently, Nami was taking too long to make a move, because another pirate approaches and snatches the box of matches out of her hand. Shit! You’re now frantically trying to wiggle out of the pirates’ grasps, much to their confusion. “What’s your problem? Just relax and enjoy the show.”

Several things happen at once. The pirate that stole the matches lights one and reaches for the cannon’s fuse, you break free from the pirates holding you back, and Nami whips out a staff and beats the pirate with it. She looks to you and yells over the ensuing chaos, “You have the key right?! Go get him out!”

Ignoring the question of how she knew, you sprint for the cage. Skidding to a stop in front of the lock, you pull the key out of your pocket. You jam it into the hole, but it doesn’t budge. You try again, twisting it in every direction, but nothing happens. “What the hell? Why isn’t this stupid key working?”

“It doesn’t fit? Oh, I guess that wasn’t the right key then,” Luffy says nonchalantly.

“What do you mean this isn’t the right key?! You said the captain had it!”

“I mean what I said. I said I thought he had it, I didn’t know for sure,” he shrugged his shoulders, still not taking this situation anywhere near as seriously as he should.

“You should have made that clearer!” You shouted as you violently threw the now useless key away, nailing someone in the crowd with it on accident.

“Why are you yelling so much? It’s not a- whoa whoa whoa the fuse is lit!” Luffy’s tone finally left its neutrality and became panicked. Your head snaps towards the cannon and you see that he’s right. Shit! Nami didn’t stop that guy in time!

There are some stairs behind you. Maybe if you can push the cage down them Luffy will be safe (well, safe from the cannon at least)? You put all your strength into pushing it, but it’s barely moving. There’s no way you can get it out of the way in time! Nami is trying to snuff out the light with her bare hands, but several pirates are charging at her now that she’s revealed herself to not truly be with them.

“Nami, behind you!”

You don’t know what to do. On one hand, you need to get Luffy out of here, but on the other, you don’t want to just stand by while Nami is killed after she tried to help you!

Thankfully, you didn’t need to decide what to do. Just before the pirates could deliver a blow to her, they’re brought to a halt by a green haired swordsman.

“Zoro!” Both you and Luffy cried out in relief.

Gasps ring out on the crowd and the entire atmosphere changes instantly. Everyone who was ready to rip Nami apart before was now backing away in fear. Murmurs of ‘pirate hunter’ could be heard as everyone became deeply unsure of themselves and their next actions.

“Just how many of you were planning on taking on one girl?” with the same ease you saw him disarm the pirates from earlier, he sent all four pirates hurtling into the crowd. He glances over his shoulder, “Are you hurt?”

Nami, who had definitely burned her hands only seconds ago, shakes her head and mutters out a ‘no’. Zoro nods and fixes the already tense crowd with a cold look, his mentioning that he hung up being a pirate hunter doing absolutely nothing to quell their anxieties.

Despite everyone else’s open terror, Buggy remains calm, even smirking at the situation. “I don’t care if you’re still calling yourself a pirate hunter or not, having your head would make my name even more feared,” he pulls out several knives as he walks towards Zoro, who is watching with what could only be deemed boredom.

As Buggy gets closer, Zoro sighs and unsheaths his other two swords. Much to your confusion, he puts one of them in his mouth. Now you may be a recent amnesia victim, but that doesn’t seem quite right to you. However, upon noticing the lack of confusion from everyone else here, you do find yourself questioning if maybe this is more normal than you’re remembering.

Everyone watches with bated breath as Buggy runs right at Zoro. It only takes a second for all three of Zoro’s swords to cut right through his opponent. Buggy falls to the ground in pieces and you recoil at the sight. It’s not like you were fond of him or anything, but seeing someone get hacked up like that was stomach churning regardless of personal feelings.

One could typically expect killing a pirate crew’s captain to be met with rage or sorrow, but there was something genuinely chilling about their reactions. They were laughing. Like there was a joke that the rest of you were all missing out on.

You ignore your discomfort to look at Buggy’s corpse again, and you notice something odd. He isn’t bleeding.

“Weird, his body had no resistance,” Zoro joined you in staring at the body, now also sensing something was off.

“Wow, was he really that weak?” Luffy wasn’t reading the room whatsoever. You’ve barely known this guy, but can’t help but feel like this is typical for him.

The dry chuckling erupts into downright maniacal laughter. You look around desperately, trying to figure out what was going on, and your blood runs cold when you see what it was.

A knife had been stabbed straight through Zoro’s abdomen by Buggy’s disembodied arm.

#one piece #yandere one piece #yandere #platonic yandere #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #monkey d luffy #zoro roronoa #nami #cat burglar nami #buggy the clown #mohji the beast tamer #lucky break

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