#as if he could've done anything to prevent it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suiana · 7 months

Text

your boyfriend has been acting weird lately (various yandere characters x gn reader) (ANGSTOBER DAY 2)

"babe are you-"

"can you quit talking? seriously, you're so damn annoying."

"...i only wanted to ask whether you were hungry..."

you stare at your boyfriend, lips pursed as he continues to type away on his phone. he's been like this for three weeks now. getting mad at you for no reason, cursing at you... did you do something wrong?

all you ever wanted was to be a good significant other and he's acting like he's on his period or something! jesus, can't he be a little bit more mature too?! picking fights with you for no reason, making a big fuss over nothing... and not even telling you why?!

...

you know what?

you had it with him.

"hey, what's your problem huh?! why are you so edgy nowadays huh? did i do something wrong?!"

your once loving boyfriend stares at you, eyes and mouth wide at your sudden outburst. he takes a moment to compose himself, eyebrows furrowing the second he thinks things through.

"god you're so damn stupid. I've been repeatedly telling you, haven't i? i hate you. what can't you understand?! this is why I'm always getting mad, damnit!"

you scoff at him, arms folded in front of your chest as you try to keep your cool... only for your anger to get the better of you, resulting in a screaming festival between you and your boyfriend.

"hate me? you can't expect me to believe that. not when you were literally obsessed with me up till three weeks ago?!"

"i-"

"you used to threaten people just for looking at me! you even tried to kill someone because they asked for my number! and now you want me to believe that you hate me? stop with your bullshit."

".. actually-"

"oh. are you seeing someone else? is that what this is? you're trying to make me break up with you, is that it?"

"n-... you know what? yeah, yeah it is. i want to break up with you. I've found someone else that i love more than you."

your boyfriend states, eyes dead as he stares straight at you. he breathes calmly, as if he weren't affected by this at all. meanwhile, your heart felt as though it had shattered into many tiny pieces. tears fell from your eyes, unable to be held back any longer as you broke down, falling to your knees as the male just stares at you stoicly.

"let's never see each other again."

he mumbles, turning on his heel, swiftly leaving you alone to wallow in your sadness in the once lively apartment. shit... you hadn't expected things to end like this.

"he's a fucking jerk..."

you think through your tears, vision blurry as you clutch your chest. you really loved him and he just?? left?? how could he be so heartless?

if he didn't love you he could've just said something about it. he didn't have to be so mean and hurt your feelings before finally bringing up another person! god damnit, why did you have to fall for such a person?!

you cried, wailing as you cursed your now ex-boyfriend.

"fuck! i hate you! i hate you so much! i hope i never see you again! just disappear from my life! you just left me to die here! stupid ex-boyfriend! i hate giving you my love!"

what you didn't know however, was that your 'heartless' boyfriend had stood outside your door, frowning at your every word, regretting everything he had done up until that moment. because he had loved you too. truly.

he loved you so damn much that he wanted to tear out his hair every single time he was mean to you. he wanted to tell you that he didn't mean any single one of those hurtful words. he wanted to cry and beg for your forgiveness every single time he did anything hurtful to you.

but it was for your own good. it was to keep you safe. and if he needed to hurt you to keep you safe, he'd do it. because he loved you too much to see someone else hurt you.

and being with him meant that there was always a risk of you getting hurt. so how could he allow that to happen when it could be prevented? how could he let his selfish feelings get in the way when you were such a precious little thing? sure, he loves you and he'll do anything in his power to ensure your safety but what if he can't protect you one day?

what if one day you just... get used against him? he's a dangerous man and has a lot of enemies. surely they'll find out that you're his weakness. of course he has gotten rid of anyone who might harm you now but who's to say that there won't be more in the future?

which is why he has to severe all ties with you now. he can't risk it. because he may be strong, but he may not be strong enough for whoever may come in the future. that's why he's been doing what he's been doing-making you hate him so that it hurts less when he decides that it's time to leave. he assumes that it's working wonderfully, after all you've never once noticed his puffy eyes in the morning.

"at least... they'll be safe now."

and disappear he will, for he has too many regrets welling up in the depths of his soul from what he did to you. he'll make sure to never come across you again, instead lurking in your shadow, observing you from afar.

a star like you need not be dirtied by his presence anymore.

dazai osamu, akutagawa ryunosuke, megumi fushiguro, blade, scaramouche/wanderer, your faves<3

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere angst #yandere drabbles #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere bsd #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere hsr #yandere honkai star rail #yandere genshin #yandere genshin impact #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting #suiana's angstober 2023

2K notes · View notes

magicdefendorwolf · 1 year

Text

Injuries pt2

Description:you come back from your travels injured,how do they react?

Warnings:injuries obviously but its vague

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Blade

He was seriously trying to have a calm and nice night,but then you walked in,all injured

"Where were you?"pauses and eyes you up and down"what happened?who did that?"

He sighs,gets up and carries you to your bed and then goes to get medicine and bandages

He swears to himself he is not panicking,if someone where to say he's panicking right now he'd deny it until his dying breath and in the afterlife,but the way he rummages through the medicine cabinets and searches for bandages says a different story

Truly,his actions betray his words,he says he's all calm but just look at the way his movements seem agitated,brows just a tad furrowed together,you'd have to squint so hard to actually see it on his face

But once he's got you all patched you better expect a lecture,but it doesnt sound like a lecture if you dont know him,if you didnt know anything about him at all it'd just sound as if he was listing off all of the things you did wrong that got you into this situation,but you know thats his way of telling you that you werent careful enough and giving advice

If you cant walk or move around much while your injuries heal he'll drop by your room during meal times with food and eat together with you and then leave,if you ask him nicely maybe he'll stay to keep you company,but otherwise dont expect him to stick around too long

But if you can walk and move around well,no you cant if he considers your injuries to be too grave,then you are staying in bed whether you have the ability to move or not,no questions asked

Once you're all healed up even if you wont see it Blade becomes overprotective,as i said you wont be seeing it since it'll be very subtle things,you'd have to pick up the hints off the floor

Overall 7/10 because you'll be confined to your bed and he wont have any idea of how to keep you company,plus the sass

Jing Yuan

He was worried the moment he realized you were late

"Where were you?"pauses and looks at you"Forget it lets just get you a doctor"

He doesnt even let you respond before he swoops you up bridal style and brings you to a doctor

Once the doctor is done patching you up he takes you back home,and lays you in bed,obviously he's not panicked or alarmed,just stressed about your state

Why didnt you call him? How did this happen? Why wasnt he there?

Nethier way he'll brush all that aside to take care of you

If you have to be bedridden he'll be at your beck and call until your injuries are fully healed,keeping you entertained with stories,jokes,mindless talks and even board games

If you can move around and dont have to stay in bed then great,you're still not moving too much,because he's carrying you almost everywhere due to the fact that he's worried over you physical condition

Once you're all recovered he'll have a serious talk with you about your safety and how you can rely on him

9/10 only because of the way he's blame himself for what happened to you

Gepard

He was happy to finally use what little time he had to spend with you,but then you walked in

"Huh?! Love what happened?!"

He'd rush to your side and carry you to lay down,and despite being initially alarmed he calms down and gets his priorities in order and gets you to a doctor

After you're all patched up he'll carry you back home and do whatever he can to help you. He sees silvermane guards get injured due to monsters almost daily so he's used to injuries,but even so,seeing his partner injured like this still worries him to no end

And he wont try to hide his worries about you

He's an experienced and strong silvermane guard,heck he"s even the head of the silvermane guards,why didnt you take him along with you? He could've prevented this,the situation definetly frustrates him and he's not afraid to show it

If you cant move around much and have to stay in bed he becomes your personal butler when he's around,bringing you food,doing chores and doing his best to keep you entertained and healing

And during times when he's on duty and cant be near you he'll ask his sister for help

If you arent bedridden then you have full mama bear Gepard because, oh boy the overprotectiveness that you never knew he had comes out

You want to cook by yourself? Oh no way is he letting you on your own,he's coming to help and he'll do most of it. You want to take a walk? Sure but you only get to walk for a bit before he's carrying you

Overall 10/10,do i need to explain?

Yanqing

He was so excited for you to come back,he was basically beaming knowing you were on your way

"Ah you're finally back!"he pauses and takes a good look at you"Huh?! Are you alright?! Come lets get you to a doctor!"

Initially he'll be panicked,very,until after the doctor is done bandaging your wounds and everything,thats when he finally relaxes after he's been pacing around like a headless chicken

And you better expect a full blown lecture,dont even think you can escape this lecture through any ways

As much as he loves you,he worried so much and still is seeing you in such a state,of course he'll be scolding you about not taking care of yourself and about being reckless

When he's finally calmed down he'll be placing his arms on your bedside and place his head onto his crossed arms right at the edge of your bed and just talk to you,he'll even play with your hand while talking to you,playing with your hand and vice versa or holding hands calms him down so

If you have to be bedridden then prepare for a full alert mode Yanqing because this man right here has your whole entire treatement memorized by heart if you have one(changing bandages,medicine for the wounds,pain killers,etc.),and since he has to leave the house due to his duties he'll leave everything prepared in a way that gives you easy acces to food,board games,books,snacks,anything you'd need

If you dont have to stay in bed then great,he'll get you to move around with him hoping it'll make your wounds better,of course he wont push you beyond your limit but still,he'll also be extra careful with you asking you quite often how you're feeling and if you're alright

9/10 only because he'd be so stressed and worried over you

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

#hsr x reader #jing yuan hsr #blade hsr #yanqing hsr #gepard hsr #gepard x reader #gepard #blade x reader #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan #yanqing x reader #yanqing #x reader #headcannons #hcs #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail

2K notes · View notes

harrystylesfan2686 · 2 months

Text

Stay With Me Part 2

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: the aftermath of your fall.

Warning: Unedited.

A/N: I know I've got those dialogue fics to write and I will!! But I just couldn't resist giving these babies their happy ending.😭

Part 1 Masterlist

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

The first thing you feel as consciousness seeps into you is the warmth of laying on something soft. Then the pain came, not much but a dull ach felt from your abdomen. You try to open your eyes but the sunlight coming from the windows make you squint and turn your head to the side.

The light suddenly goes away and you a hear a rough voice, "You're awake." Your eyes finally open, slowing the darkness fadding into light as you look around and try you see where you are at. A room that looks like one you have comes into view and you look at the source of the voice.

Azriel stands near the window, curtains closed, signaling he shut them upon seeing your discomfort. Unsure of what to say, you try to sit up. Groaning where the ach in your stomach increases slightly. "Careful. You're still not completely healed." Az comes to your side, kneeling beside the bed and helps you lean on the bedrest.

He silently removes the cap from a glass of water beside you on the table and lifts if up to your mouth, quietly ordering you to drink it. You obey, taking small sips and hum when the strache in your throat eases. He puts the glass back to it's place when you finish and you use the time to observe him.

Something terrible must've happened because there are dark circles around his eyes and his pale skin implies he hasn't eaten well in days. His hair and clothes are touloused and you try to not stare at his distressed look. He's rarely ever not out of shape so seeing him like this shocks you a little.

You are still staring at him when he looks back to you and everything comes back to you. The storm, the fall, the trap and the blood. Your eyes widen as you remember everything and look down at yourself. Your shoots out to touch the place where your injury would've been, but when you feel nothing, your skin healed except for gaint holes scars lining up your body, you frown in confusion.

Surely a wound that bad wouldn't have healed in a night, how long were you asleep?

"It's mostly healed but you'll still feel discomfort and dizziness for a while." Azriel says, you feel his eyes on you.

"How long was I alseep?" You trace the scars lightly, feeling minor sensations, ignoring the fact that only a small piece of undergarment is covering your breasts and the rest of your upper body is bare.

"Three days." Your head snaps to look at him. "Three days?!" You eco, voice pitching high in shock.

"Madja said that the pikes of the trap had poison in them, prolonging your pain and preventing your body to heal itself. That's why you couldn't wake up and you will still feel the effects of it for days." His voice sounding strained.

"Oh." You sigh.

"Eris said that during Amarantha's rule, traps like the one we saw were made, to keep safe from the monsters she unleashed. Most of them were taken out but the there were some left, which couldn't be because people forgot where they were put. The one you fell into was one of them." He lifts his hand to hold yours, gently moving circles on the back of your arm with his thumb.

"Eris didn't seem at all guilty about not telling us, that bastard." His jaw clenched in anger.

"It's alright Az." Your try to calm him.

"No. It's not. Your could've bloody died. How can you forgive him so easily?" The look is his eyes promises death as he looks at you but you don't fear him knowing this time the anger isn't directed to you.

"I don't forgive him. But there was no way he could've known I'd fall into one."

"No but he could've at least warned us! You nearly died Y/N! Do you realize how I miserable I felt in that moment. When I saw you in It's hold, I felt a kind of panic I have never felt before. And the blood. I didn't know what do to. I would've done anything to save you then, even if I had to give my soul, I would've."

You can't seem to recall words as you look at him. He shakes his head and looks down, avoiding your eyes, glancing between your scares and his hand that's cluching onto yours.

"Darling, I-" Hearing the very nickname he often used to mock you with, now laced with fear for you makes your heart skip a beat. "The sight of you laying like that, defenseless in the pool of your own blood, barely breathing-" His face wholly crumbles. You don't say anything, letting him lay his heart bare for you.

"It has been haunting me. Since the second Rhysand got to us and Magda healed you. I have been dying to see your eyes again, see you frown at me and tuant me-" His voice cracks as tears start falling down his face. "I love you so much. Please don't ever leave me like that again. I'll die if you don't stay with me."

You hug him the second he finishes speaking, wrapping arm around his waist and the other to his neck, burying your fingers in his hair and his hugs you back, crushing his body to yours and hiding his face in the crook of your neck. Hearing soft cries, you cannot control your own. Each other's tears soaking you both as you bask in the others arms.

"I will never leave you, Azriel." After a moment you pull back, just a little to look into his eyes so that he can see the truth and love in them. "I love you so much. I will always stay with you, even if you tell me not too." He nods once whimpering out a small please, as if that's all he can say right now, and your heart breaks.

"I love you. So much." You kiss his forehead, moving down to his cheeks and nose, you're both hands now at the sides of his face and his can't seem to leave your waist. "My mate." You both smile, laughing a little and you look at him. Truly look at him, admiring his yellow onyx eyes that gloss from the tears pooling in them, loving the way he's watching you with so much love.

"I love you, Azriel." You kiss him, slowing resting your lips to his, pouring all your love into it and promising yourselves to the other forever.

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

Tagging: @that-one-little-soybean

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #acotar fluff #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel angst #azriel x yn #azriel fluff #azriel fanfic

261 notes · View notes

sensitive-neuvi-enthusiast · 6 months

Text

I Watched You Disappear

♡♡-Request: Wriothesley's sweet Fontainian lover steps in front of a splash of Primordial Seawater. Drabble.

☆☆-Warnings: Death, angst, crying, anger, attempted murder, distraught Wriothesley

Five seconds. That's how long it took Wriothesley to process what happened. Five whole seconds he could've said anything, done anything to prevent this inevitable tragedy.

His eyes slowly widened as he watched your body get drenched in water. In Primordial Seawater. An inmate, who was none to happy with his situation or Wriothesley had sought out to kill him. To make him disappear. But you? You'd seen him coming, had only a brief moment to decide while you were deep in conversation with your boyfriend. Your soon to be fiancee, something you'd never know. The ring he'd gotten just a week prior sat in his pocket. Left with no one to wear it now as he watched you slowly disappear. His hand raising just in time to softly brush against your hair.

"I love-" your voice cut off. You were no longer here. You were gone. And Wriothesley snapped. Immediately turning to the man who'd taken his lover away. His future, his purpose. And he beat that man within an inch of his life. Blood covered his knuckles as he fell to his knees. Hands landing in the puddle that was now your body as he sobbed. His body shook violently as he screamed. Begging and pleading to any archon who would hear to just bring you back.

But there was no answer. Only the sound of the gavel being pounded as he was sentenced to prison.

Navigation

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley angst #angst #lovelies requests

413 notes · View notes

appleblueberry-pie · 1 month

Note

Please 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 do a yandere miles morales scenario if reader runs away from him

Pain Isn't Strong Enough

A/n: I'll get as close as I possibly can to "running" away as I can. If nearly spinting almost counts, then absolutely.

Miles didn't know what went wrong. You two were fine with each other the entire time. You often came over to eat dinner. Paid attention to his jokes. You made jokes back. You seemed comfortable when you came over to his place, and vice-versa seemed comfortable when he pulled up at yours. You stole hoodies from him like he wished for you to do. You often texted and called, and everything. You two had great communication skills, the whole fucking nine. So why....? Why are you not...being you??

He knew something was up when you gave him weird strained smiles all throughout the school day. Only would greet back when you two ran into each other again during passing period, and never said anything past that, especially when you two had physics together. He spoke the whole time. You best understand that he definitely checked up on you. Multiple times.

"...baby, are you okay? You've been kind of....kind of quiet lately. Did you eat? How'd you sleep last night?" "I'm fine. Nothing's wrong. I'm good." You'd say, nodding at him. He'd stare at you for a few seconds. Waiting for your face to crack or anything. But nothing. So he let it go for now.

At the end of the day, he offered to walk you home. He asked every single time you two walked back to your place, and you always told him to stop asking since you both always would go, no matter what happened. "Lemme you home, ma." He mutters it softly like every other time. "No." Miles stopped in his tracks and snapped his head toward you. "No?" He nearly shouts it. The confusion he felt was embedded deep into his voice when he repeated that word. The fact that you felt, he assumed, uncomfortable enough to openly decline him walking you home just rubbed him the wrong way entirely.

But he didn't mean to respond so abruptly. He collected himself as soon as he said it to not alarm you. He gives you a concerned stare, making sure to watch your eyes. "You sure?" He steps closer to you, getting rid of the space that he felt like was separating the two of you. "Yeah. I just want to go home." You made up some phony excuse to get him off of your back, but of course, it didn't work. "Then let me take you." "I just said no. Is it wrong that I don't want you to come with me this time?" You slip on your wording, wanting it to sound nicer to not be suspicious. And it just left Miles with more questions.

The undertones on your phrasing made him frown. He stays silent and you regret opening your mouth for every second he doesn't respond. You avoid his gaze, staring down your designated block. "No. Go 'head. My mom prolly need help with the chores anyway. I'll see you later, Mi Corazon." He softly whispers the nickname to you, pecking your cheek. You cheese every time he does it. Giving that laugh he loves and saying that you love him back. Now, you don't even flinch, not meeting his gaze once. "Hm." And you walk off.

His initial thought was that you're cheating. But he would know. So, he lets his heart and bones ache for the rest of the day as he waits for you to talk to him. He lets his mom bother him about where her "step-daughter" is and tries to stay chill the entire time he does his homework. His mind was loud and quiet at the same time. He couldn't seem to focus on one thing at a time until he knew the two of you were good. But he didn't want to press you, he didn't want to stress you out. He wanted you to take your time in reaching out to him. So, he stays patient.

By 9 o'clock, he was done with all possible things he could've done to pass the time. Did the laundry, made dinner, cleaned his mom's car, spoke with a neighbor, he even fixed the fucked up cable wires that had been preventing everyone from watching TV this past week. And it was until then, that Miles finally gets a text message from you. He was practically staring at his phone as if he knew you would answer and immediately swiped it off of his desk to see what you finally said. But nothing in the world could've prepared him for what he saw on his screen and he felt his heart drop as he read the message.

Baby - [Are you the prowler?]

He was ready. He was ready for any response you could've given him. I need space, I'm sorry, how are you, what are you doing, can you come over, hey, i miss you, i love you, fuck you, don't talk to me ever again, lose my number. "Is he the prowler"?? Is that what he's seeing on his screen right now?? Miles firmly believes he's hallucinating that message you sent, but the other ones above it that he had read a million times over are still the same, so it has to be real. Miles thinks of all of the hiding places for his gear, his other computer, his hidden weapons, his other bunch of keys, the paperwork for the deals he made, fuck, he couldn't think of what you possibly could've found that made you draw that conclusion. He cursed aloud and watched his hands begin to shake.

It wasn't the end. You wouldn't end the relationship over something as small as this, right? I mean, he would never hurt you, he knew that you knew this. But on the inside, he knew that this was the end of something. And he didn't know if he wanted to know what. Another message came up. You knew he saw it.

Baby - [Answer me.]

Miles - [I'm coming over.]

Baby - [No, don't.]

He shoved his phone into his pocket and rushed to put on a jacket and some shoes. Sneaking out to the fire escape, he rushed down to the street to speed walk over to your place.

You were scared. You didn't want to admit it to yourself, but in the back of your mind, you knew the truth and just couldn't help but feel real fear in your heart. He really was the prowler. You saw everything. That hyper-realistic metal mask you found under his pillow, it couldn't be for just nothing. For fucks sake, it even had the same holographic colors and shape. You found the claws and couldn't bring yourself to see anymore than you already did. And what made it worse is that when you spent the night the same time that you found his gear, he snuck out of the bed....not returning until the early hours of the morning. It made you sick to your stomach.

He was supposed to just be your boyfriend. Not a killer and a fucking robber and whatever else he was. Secrets as big as these just made you question everything else about the relationship you two had. What if he also had bitches on the side? What if you weren't the only one? What if he was using you? Would he......would he kill you...? You were gonna vomit.

Your body felt numb as you put on his hoodie and a pair of shoes he had gifted you. Everything that reminded you of him, you couldn't get rid of. You love him too much. The more you try to shove him away, the more he surrounds your everyday life and mind. And now he was going to find you. You weren't ready to talk at all.

You turned off your location on your phone and left. Maybe you can stay at one of your girl's houses tonight. But she lives in the direction of Miles's place, and you'd probably run into him on the way there. Maybe your cousin that lives like 30 minutes away? It's dark and....the walk would be so fucking dangerous, but it's safer than literally talking with a killer who you slept in the same bed with who-knows-how-many times. What were you going to tell your mom? Your family? His family?? Did his family know? How can you break up with him without causing an uprise? It almost seemed impossible because everyone loved you two being together. And the ones that hated it wanted it more than the two of you did. Too many people had hope in your relationship, it was horrible. It shouldn't have come to this. Maybe you should've just minded your own business.

You round one, two corners. It's dead silent and there's no one on the streets, which somehow feels worse than actual people being there stalking the streets. You hate that you can hear your own heartbeat and breath. On your third corner, you crash into a chest and rough hands grab you before you can fall. "No! No, get off of me!" You thrash in his arms and he seems to almost yell in your face. "Y/n, can you calm down? What the hell is you screaming for??"

"You know why I'm screaming at you, nigga!" "No, I don't I actually don't. So instead of running from me, can you talk to me?" You huff and go silent, pulling yourself out of his grasp to try and breathe. Miles's face falls when he sees how stressed you look. Your veins almost seemed to pop out of your neck. Did you really not want him there? He didn't know what to do. "Please, cariño, I just want to understand..."

You didn't want to start the waterworks and looked up to keep tears from falling down your face. You struggle to croak out the words, gesturing to help yourself cope. "The stuff...t-the stuff under your pillows and bed." Miles looks off to the side. "What is that stuff you got, Miles?" Suddenly it was quiet again. He didn't want to tell you. You didn't want it to be true. Why wasn't he denying it? Why wasn't he hugging you and telling you it was all fake? A science class experiment? Something? Anything but this?? He looks back at you and gains the courage to step closer, bringing a hand up to wipe away your hot tears on your face, like he promised he'd always do for you. He shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about, baby."

You just seemed to cry harder at his words and pulled his hand from your face. Your throat was beginning to close up, the truth showing in what wasn't said. "I hate when you lie to me. I know you know that I hate when you lie to me. Don't lie....don't lie.." Miles wanted you in his arms again, not far away, distancing the two of you in your mind like he knows you're doing. You're great at disappearing when feeling stressed, but to leave him alone? He doesn't think he can take that. He gave his heart to very few people in his life, and somehow it can never fix his problems. His mom's stressed, Aaron wants more from him, and his Dad.... You're the only one that's given him what he didn't know he needed. You're his salvation. And for you to slip out of his fingers is something he can't allow. His only option left is to tell the truth that he has been hiding for so long.

"I am." You sniffle and wipe your eyes. He can't seem to look at them, instead he stares at the necklace he gifted you when you first got together. Knowing that you kept it on was all he needed to keep speaking. "I am the Prowler."

Your face shifts from sadness into one of frustration as he explains. "I've been the Prowler for 2 years now. I go out almost every night. It helps my mama pay the bills, it keeps Brooklyn safe, and it keeps my close family safe as well. I don't do this for nothing." He whispers the words so quietly, as if he was whispering a taboo to you. Never slipped out of his lips before until this one moment with you. You turn your face the other direction. Miles watches you clench your jaw and rushes to take your hands into his, kissing them lightly.

"And I know that's a long time. And I know I was hiding it from you, baby. Pero tienes que confiar en mí. You're on my mind every single night when I'm out. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I couldn't come back to you one night because I wasn't careful. So I stay careful."(But you have to trust me)

Both of his knees hit the hard concrete as he stares up into your glossy eyes, not daring to look away. "You can do anything, anything to me. I don't care. You can beat me the fuck up, mami. But, por favor, no me dejes. I need you! I need you to live, baby. I can't be without you. I don't wanna see you walk away from me. Please." (Please, don't leave me)

Miles whispered the words only for you to hear. All you wanted was that apology and you wished to give in so bad. You wanted him to stay. Miles stood when you looked the other way to catch your eyes again. "Just let me walk you home, mi vida, and we can talk about this in the morning, okay? Or even tonight, if you want to. Just don't give up on me, not like this." Miles's heart was racing a mile a minute. He really didn't know if he could convince you in this moment. Your face seemed to be stone cold. But when he grabbed your hand, you seemed to tighten your fingers around his. His eyes told you what his mouth couldn't say. And by communicating through silence, you let him pull you in the direction of your home.(My dear)

234 notes · View notes

nymphaliia · 23 days

Text

𐙚 TOKYO REVENGERS SMUT

୨୧ sanzu x police officer!reader

— you need to arrest sanzu, but you're alone and he thinks you'd be so much prettier beneath him, so he takes it upon himself to remind you of your place.

cw : noncon, gun play (not really), threats, public sex, blowjob, cum swallow, humiliation, slight spitting

my masterlist : ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

your job was tough. you knew that when you signed up so you didn't have any right to complain. but there were nights like this which were radically harder than others.

you were patrolling on your assigned neighborhood on your own. it wouldn't be effective to have you there without any help, but your police station was running short of workforce so it left you with no choice.

and you regretted deeply to have come here tonight when your boss had suggested you join another group in a less secluded area. but, you wanted to assure the safety of the inhabitants, as you've been warned repeatedly of the growing activity of various gangs here.

regardless, when you think about it, it was careless and stupid of you to think you could've managed any issues alone if one had to happen.

this overconfident thought process of yours is what led you to your current situation, a gun pointed at your head. your gun.

"what's wrong, weren't you about to arrest me?", you tried to think cleverly, hands raised in a surrender motion in hopes he wouldn't shoot just for fun.

"listen, I'm only doing my job. you need to surrender yourself to the police, my colleagues have been notified, they'll be there soon. it's in your interest to stop protesting" the man seemed insanely high, pupils dilated all the way and an eccentric speech you often found with drug addicts.

you had to gain time and act extra careful with him. the way he handled your gun showed you he wasn't a novice and knew what he was doing. shooting you would have been the least exciting highlight of his day.

"you talk a lot for a little bitch like you. your mouth doesn't need all those big words" you watched as he glared at you, getting annoyed at your 'bratty' act and thinking of a way to entertain himself.

"you're quite reckless even though I'm holding you at gunpoint" he stated lazily. you eyed him carefully, choosing not to say anything for fear of upsetting him further.

"do you value your life ? because I'm thinking of a few ways you could try and save your life" he laughed lightly, a playful expression finally making his way to his face.

you gulped as you watched him start to caress his member through his pants and you noticed with dread that the man was hard. a little wet spot had appeared and you could only pray he wouldn't make you do what you thought he would.

but of course, he was the one in charge. you had been dumb enough to let this drug addict stole it from you and now you were paying the price. you judged your options, not knowing what he would do to you and how far he was able to take it. you prepared yourself for any demand.

"get on your knees and show me how much you want to live. or would you like to test how long it'll take for your other friends to get there?", he agitated the gun in front of your head, clearly indicating what was about to become of you if you tried to play it smart.

you could resist, but he seemed way too determined at making you obey. you knew he'd force you physically if you didn't follow his words.

you shuddered at the thought of your coworkers stumbling upon you, watching with disgust and horror their sweetest colleague in such a shameful position.

so you went along, swallowing your pride and slowly sinking to your knees. you felt humiliated and wronged, knowing you'll get no mercy from the man in front of you. you were either gonna suck him off or die on the spot. your choice was done.

you grew more anxious as you watched him unzip his pants, taking his hard dick out and presenting it to you. the tip fell on your lips and you had a recoil, lucidity preventing you from remaining emotionless.

"come on princess, work for your life", he was mocking you and you had no choice but to stay silent, slowly parting your lips when he forced his dick inside.

watching you glaring up at him with a face cutely deformed by his length made him laugh at you, condescending eyes looking down at you.

"aah yes, you're definitely prettier when you shut the fuck up. acting all big and mighty just doesn't suit an airhead like you baby"

you wanted to cuss him out, regretting how stupid you had been for complying to his words in exchange for your life. at least you would've died properly during your shift like any proper cop.

but here you were, on your knees for the criminal you were supposed to arrest. you were such a failure, if your police station learned about that, you could bet your life was over for real this time.

"you better hurry up and make me cum, wouldn't want them to find out their colleague is just a dumb slut who opens her mouth wide for any criminal to cum into, right?" he presses the gun deeper into your forehead, eyes questioning if you have any fighting spirit left in you with a raised brow. he smirks when he finally feels you start to move, your movements are clumsy but it draws a few loud moans from him, obviously not caring at all about the possible passers-by.

"fuck, getting your dick sucked by a cute little cop is the best. you're doing great baby, taking it like a champ'", he mocks, tangling his hand in your head and watching you gag as he pushes you deeper and deeper on his cock. your choke are stimulating him and he finds no sympathy in himself to give you a moment to breathe.

you turn light-headed, slapping his thighs in an attempt to ask him for oxygen and he just laughs.

"poor princess, do you need someth- aah almost there, that's right keep sucking me like that" he swiftly puts your gun in his back pocket to allow him to use your head easier. that's how harmless you seem to him, he doesn't even need a gun to make you submit and it hurts your pride even more.

he now grabs two handful of your hair, scalp burning in his hands, before he slides you along his shaft quicker.

he throws his head back, enjoying the unholy sounds you make along with the sweet pleasure your abused throat offers him.

you find little relief in knowing you're alone there. at least your reputation won't be too dirtied... but of course, it wouldn't be funny if that's how things went?

"y/n ?! where are you, we've received your localisation" you freeze. you recognise that voice as your colleague, a nice guy with whom you spend most of your shift with. expect for tonight.

you look up at the man above you, fearing the glint of malice in his eyes.

"they came to look for you, how sweet. do you want me to call them over to tell them you're alright baby?" he roughly removes you from his dick, allowing you to pant for air. you would've crumbled at his feet if not for the way his hand was solidly attached to your hair. it hurt and you were scared to be discovered.

you hurriedly pleaded him with multiple shakes of your head, eyes wide and looking up at him with dread.

sanzu felt like he had won, smiling satisfyingly upon witnessing how undone you looked. just a bit of manhandling, threats and having your mouth fucked was enough to turn you into a submissive cum slut? what a treat.

he was glad he decided to go pay a visit to one of his client tonight.

"damn, her car is here but she's nowhere to be found. hope she's alright, there's a lot of gang stuff going on in this place" you listen as the voices come and go, internally praying for them to leave as soon as possible and search for you somewhere else.

you were too lost in your fear that you let out a loud chocking sound when he shoved his dick again in your warm mouth, growing tired of listening to the shouting of your name. and he stayed there again, unmoving, wearing your mouth like a socket.

you tried to throw a look behind you. you could hear them but couldn't see anything as he had your back turned on the road. even though you were hidden in a dark alley, you knew sanzu could see them clearly and you could only hate the way his smile widened at your distress.

"hey be careful, you don't want them to find you if your being too loud, do you?" and with that he started pounding into your head again.

he enjoyed the way your face looked a mess, with saliva dripping down your chin and chest, knees bruised at how long you've been on the ground and how your mascara was dirtying your cheeks. it felt so good to corrupt a cute little cop like you.

he felt your throat tightening upon hearing footsteps getting closer. he knew you were scared but it only pushed him to wreck you even more.

"oh- yes that's the spot. if you keep doing that I might just nut on the spot, are you sure you're doing the right job? might as well just become a whore..."

and he finally felt it, happy to do it in your pretty mouth.

he gripped your hair tighter, coming in your mouth with low grunts. you chocked around him, helping him finish quicker. you felt the warm liquid spurting inside and you had no choice but to swallow as he wouldn't let you go until he was sure you had tasted him fully.

"fuck, that felt so good princess. I love coming into an obedient slut's mouth, always the best" he patted the top of your hair dreamily, his lips stretched into a content smile while he kept his dick inside your mouth, waiting for the high to dissolve a little.

when he finally released you, he let his dick go in a pop, letting it rest on top of your panting head, the saliva and rest of cum coating his shaft fell on your head in drops but you were too exhausted and defeated to do anything.

sanzu felt satisfied with how things turned out today and chose to leave without any regrets. he promised himself he would pay you a little visit too when he felt like it and he jokingly kissed your cheek, thanking you for your hard work.

he cleaned his member by smearing it on your face before putting it back in his pants. he threw your gun back right in front of you "I think that's yours, you can keep it baby" and with a final spit on your face, which you received with no resistance, he finally left, unapologetic and a ting of mockery in his tone "I'm sure you'll be able to keep that secret between the two of us, right princess?"

what an asshole.

you took a moment to gather yourself, messily clearing your face up with your shirt, trying your best to look presentable.

you felt ashamed of yourself for having helped this asshole to cum. you spat all you could to try and get rid of the foul taste but to no avail.

you were at least glad he wasn't here to witness your little reunion with the people you worked with for years. you know he would've laughed at you.

you dusted your knees as you stood up, stumbling on your feet which had grown weak during the past minutes. you tried to think of a good excuse to justify your lack of response and finally made yourself known to your coworkers.

"y/n, here you are! we thought something bad happened to you- wait are you okay, you look really... tired?"

172 notes · View notes

emo-trash88 · 18 days

Note

can you do a Ashlyn or Aiden x reader where the reader dies instead of Tyler??? Like what would their reactions be??

Yeah ofc!!! I did headcannons cause I'm lowkey lazy rn, but if you want oneshots just let me know!

Ashlyn and Aiden x reader

Pronouns: Second person

Tw: Death

Ashlyn -

- Ashlyn would obviously panic when she sees you fly out the side of the car, but there's not really much she can do about it, she has to try to keep everyone else safe.

- She definitely worries the entire time though, she doesn't even know what happened to you.

- Eventually, when everyone but you wakes up, she feels so guilty. She wonders if she should've just turned around, or if there was anything she could've done to prevent it.

- When you wake up at the hospital, you pull what I like to call "The Tyler" and run out of the hospital room to Ashlyn.

- I think she wouldn't be the kind of person to really hug, but when she sees you again she hugs you full on.

- She feels so relieved that you're alive and okay.

- But then when they have to essentially pry your body off of the tree, she feels even worse.

- In all, she's glad you're okay, but she does start kinda glaring at you to try and make sure you're okay but it lowkey comes off as creepy.

Aiden -

- Tbh I don't think he really processed it at first.

- Like not that he didn't really care, but he just didn't comprehend that you flew out the side of a car.

- It honestly only really hit him when you didn't wake up with everyone else.

- It's really then that he start panicking and trying to wake you up.

- And then when you get hauled to the hospital, it really hits him that you could just...not wake up.

- I feel like this would become a turning point for him, and he would be hella quiet (something strange for him).

- Once you pull 'The Tyler' and run out into the lobby, man's basically launches himself at you

- He just kinda holds you for a bit

- Think of when him and Ashlyn were on the roof.

- He was worried he lost you.

- But he's super glad you're okay and honestly once you heal he doesn't really change much except he's more clingy

I had to rewrite this like 20 times 😭

#school bus graveyard #aiden sbg #ashlyn sbg #ashlyn banner #aiden clark x reader #ashlyn banner x reader

186 notes · View notes

suw4 · 2 months

Text

Your Voice

Hinata Shoyo from Haikyuu!!

an/tw: TIMESKIP SPOILERS! im so thankful with all the love that the first part had gotten!!! so here's a treat for you. the writing might be a little messy but am hoping you like this

Masterlist | Haikyuu!! Masterlist

part1 | part2

The first-year couple sat at a nearby playground. Both of them are sitting in the seat of each swing. "I didn't know you felt that way, [N/n]," Shoyo felt guilty. He was so indulged in volleyball that he failed to focus on his boyfriend's feelings. Even though it wasn't his fault. "I didn't want you to worry. So I didn't say anything. That's why I've been avoiding watching you play,"

"Oh. I thought you were only busy with your studies..."

"I am. I mean, what else can I do when I can't play volleyball with you?" [Name] let out a dry chuckle. "Once I'm done with education, I'll find myself a good high-paying job so I can afford a hearing aid at least. I don't think I can afford a cochlear implant. That stuff is hella expensive. A little risky too since I will have to get surgery," he sighs, looking up to the star-littered sky.

Shoyo stood up and stood in front of the other. Taking his hands into his and squeezed them. "I'm sorry that you had to experience this, [N/n]. It must've been frustrating, huh?" he whispered, slowly letting go and embracing the [h/c] haired. "I'm sorry," he repeated. [Name] could feel the vibrations on Shoyo's chest. He closed his eyes and hugged the male back. "That stupid drunk driver...! If it wasn't for that idiot, you would've..." the tangerine mumbled. Aggrieved about what had happened to [Name]. Tears swell in his eyes. He felt that he could've done something. But what could he possibly have done to prevent that accident? He was only a junior high student.

[Name] parted from the hug. "Should we go home now? It's late. Your mom is most likely worried by now," he smiled softly as he signed. Reaching out to wipe Shoyo's tears. The shorter male then nodded as he let out a hum.

After a nice relaxing shower, with a small towel over his head, the [h/c] haired male entered his shared bedroom. Seeing his lover lying in bed already. Shoyo placed his phone beside his pillow and spread his arms out. Welcoming the other into bed. [Name] smiled at the sight and hurriedly climbed into his arms. Shoyo wrapped his arms around him and helped him dry his hair afterwards. [Name] laid his head against his chest. Even though he couldn't hear it, he felt it.

"I love feeling your heartbeat, Sho," he snuggled further. He could feel the vibrations sped up. He chuckled. "Are you embarrassed?" he teased, looking up at the other, whose face was flushed with light pink. "Uwah..! Why are you always so verbal when teasing me?" he whines as he covers his cheeks. [Name] laughed lightheartedly and took one of Shoyo's hands away from his face. Leaning forward to give a little peck on his lips. "Sleep," he simply gestured his right fist downwards by the right side of his head. After that, he repositioned himself. With his back against the mattress, he pulled his boyfriend onto him. Nuzzling the tangerine's fluffy locks. Shoyo exhaled in satisfaction and snuggled into the other's warmth. He bid [Name] goodnight, the other replying the same. Slowly, both of them will meet each other in dreamland.

Years passed. Shoyo had gone to Brazil to expand his skills in volleyball. During breaks, he was seen texting on his cell phone like there was no tomorrow. Refusing to remove his attention away from the screen. Oikawa, who was present, became curious and suspicious of his behaviour. Arching a brow at him, he called out. "Oii~ Hinata! What's with you and all that texting?" he asked, walking towards the said male. "Oh, Oikawa-san! I'm just texting my boyfriend,"

"Oh? Boyfriend? Since when!?" shocked, he plopped by the shorter male. Peeking over to the screen. "Since like forever! He's always busy, so you never get to see him in any high school games," he says, still replying away. The older male hummed as he watched him interact. "Oh. Quite a man you've gotten yourself!" he piped when he saw a tad bit of a photo in the chatroom However, he earned a quick glare from the other with the comment. Oikawa was slightly surprised but decided to ignore it. "Hm... How come you don't just call him?"

"He's deaf. Calls are prohibited. Anyways! Look!" Shoyo showed a picture that [Name] had just sent him. It was a picture of [Name] with Yamaguchi at the college cafeteria they were attending. Oikawa was caught off guard by this critical information about his boyfriend, but again, he decided to move on. "Ah, good for him then,"

"Mhm! I'm so proud of him! He decided to get a degree in arts in photography. There aren't many job opportunities for people like him, so..." he unconsciously showed a cheeky smile. Going back to his phone to continue communicating with his beloved boyfriend. Oikawa's expression softens. "Wow, you guys are unbelievably annoyingly cute," Shoyo laughed at that comment. "I owe him a lot. He supported me like hell. Have so much faith in me. I just want to repay him back,"

The atmosphere between them fell into a gentle breeze. It was calming. Impressed, the older male asked, "Ohh! Do you have any plans about it?" Shoyo's smile widens upon hearing that. "Yeah! I want to gather as much money as I can and get him that cochlear implant," Oikawa's eyes widened, and his back straightened. "What!?? Those things are expensive as hell!"

"I know! Once I have enough, I want to go back to Japan and surprise him with that. Now I can't wait for the day to come," he locked his phone and laid his forehead on the screen. Imagining the scenarios. He felt giddy about it. "As much as I hope for the best for you two, I don't want this to disrupt your volleyball training," the brunette says, leaning onto the palm of his hand. "It won't! I've got everything figured out!" he grinned, pumping his fist as he turned to face the older. Oikawa rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, shrimp. Now let's go eat for real!"

Two years passed, and finally, the greatest decoy was back home. His plane just landed. Stepping onto his homeland and making his way to receive his stuff. Once he walked through the gates, he took a deep breath with his eyes closed. Smells like nostalgia.

"Shoyo," a familiar gentle voice called him. He paused and turned to the direction of the sound. A clicking sound could be heard. He saw the love of his life standing there, holding up an expensive-looking camera marking him. His lips stretched into a wide, toothy smile. He started running towards him and pounced on him. Clinging onto him like a koala. [Name] let out a big laugh, locking the male tightly in his arms. "[N/N]!!!!!" Shoyo wept deafeningly. Any passerby stared at the two with a few judging and sympathetic looks.

A wave of relief rushes over him and suddenly all of his tension leaves his body. He felt lighter. A whiff of a smell that lingered on [Name]'s clothing comforted him. He smells like home.

The decoy pulled himself off his lover but his grip on [Name]'s clothes stayed. "How did you know I was coming home today?!" he exclaimed. "Oikawa-san may or may not have texted me," he giggled. "Oikawa-san? No way! I wanted to surprise you! That damn great king!! He beat me with my own boyfriend?!??" he yelled once more. At this rate, they might get kicked out by security. [Name] nudged his boyfriend. "Let's get out of here and eat lunch," he suggested, lifting a paper bag that he had with him. The volleyball player nodded and took his hand, making their way out together.

They settled down at a peaceful park. The photographer had planned a mini picnic with just the two of them. They ate with satisfaction. Shoyo leaned against his boyfriend as they watched the children play about. His cell phone beeped. He took out to see an email. His eyes widened slightly as he sat up, alerting the other. "Sho? What's going on?" [Name] asked. Shoyo's expression was full of glee. He quickly put down his bento and scooted closer to the other. "I have a gift for you!" he signed excitedly. The other male raised a brow. Shoyo then took his hands. Looking down at them and caressing them lightly before lifting them up to kiss the knuckles. "I have booked an important appointment. For you,"

"An appointment? For me?" Shoyo nodded. "I need you to clear up your schedule tomorrow because tomorrow you're going to meet your doctor to discuss about your cochlear implant," he signed each word slowly. Making sure his partner was able to understand it fully. [Name] narrowed his eyes, not believing a single word. "Are you joking with me?"

"I'm not! Look!" Shoyo picked up his phone and went through his emails. Pressing on one particular inbox and showing it to the other. It was an email from a hospital in Tokyo confirming the appointment date. [Name] read it. Reality slowly kicks in. "Shoyo, are you being for real?" his lips trembled lightly. His boyfriend nodded with a smile on his face. "Yes! I'm being so for real right now!" The [h/c] haired gazed down to his lap, clearing the lump in his throat. "Shoyo..." his voice cracked. "Thank you... Thank you..!" his tone differs every second. Filled with so much gratitude that he couldn't stay composed. Shoyo moved himself to sit right by his side and wrapped an arm around his arm. Letting [Name] lean against him. His head lying on the other. "Shoyo... I love you so much," he declared. The other hummed as he responded, "I love you too, [N/n]," The tangerine-haired then reached up to graze his knuckles along his boyfriend's cheeks. [Name] rubbing lightly against his touch. Earning for more. "I know you wanted to get them yourself but I can't let you. You've been such an amazing boyfriend to me and I just wanted to repay you," [Name] read his lips, showing an assured smile. "You're such an amazing boyfriend to me too, Sho,"

The appointment went well. The doctor was patient and nice. The doctor informed them that [Name] must meet the requirements and go through a few tests if he's suitable to get the implant. The process would take a few weeks, almost a month. The couple will have to be patient for it. While the [h/c] goes through it, Shoyo will be supporting him throughout.

The day of the surgery arrives. [Name] was already in surgery while his boyfriend waited in the waiting room. Bouncing his legs, hands clasped together. Shoyo couldn't help but worry. Anxious as hell. All of the possible bad situations came infiltrating his mind.

What if he doesn't make it through? What if he loses his ears? What if the surgery accidentally cut his ears off?!!!!? What if the surgery fails and he can't hear for the rest of his life?? That he'll be so depressed that he won't have the will to live anymore because he will never ever hear my voice again!!??

Luckily, all of his friends were there to snap him out of it. "Ow!! What was that for!?" he groaned after a certain blue-haired male chopped the top of his head with the side of his open hand. "You're freaking out, dumbass!"

"You're sweating up a pool. Stop it, It's disgusting," Tsukishima added, expressing a disgusted face. "Don't worry, Shoyo! He'll make it!" Yachi tries to comfort the male. "Yeah! Besides, he's getting an implant, not a heart surgery!" Yamaguchi tries to support the female's claims. The mention of heart surgery made Shoyo retch harshly. Almost fainting in the process. Chaos ensues. In the end, they all brought Shoyo out to ease his mind.

The doctor mentioned that it would take a week for the implant to heal, so after that surgery, the gang treated the patient for a simple outing. Nothing too extreme. For the rest of the week, they let the male rest while Shoyo was heavily treating him as if he had an incurable disease.

At last, [Name] went for his final checkup. He would finally get the final piece of his cochlear implant. There he sat on a chair--across his doctor's office desk--with his boyfriend beside him. The doctor congratulated the couple. Complimenting and praising the two for how they've handled the surgery recovery. He then pulled out a box and placed it on the desk. Sliding it towards his patient. "Here it is. Your cochlear implant!" he exclaimed with a smile on his face. "I'll leave you with it now. I have another patient to attend to so I'll leave you to it," he continued, making his way out.

[Name]'s lips trembled slightly as overwhelm overcame him. He hesitantly took the box in his hands. His heart pounds loudly. He let out a low grumble before turning to Shoyo. "Will you do the honours, my love?" he signed. Shoyo's eyes stayed glued to him and gulped afterwards. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. You've been so caring and understanding towards me. Babe, you even attended sign language classes with me. Up until now, you've helped me. Now, this is your reward. Be the one that gives me the ability to hear again. As for me, let me hear you," [Name] expressed his feelings through his words. Even though his words were slightly slurred, they hit Shoyo straight into his heart. He was deeply moved, eyes swelling up a little. "Okay. Let's do this!"

Determined, he took the box from [Name]'s lap. Taking a deep breath and out, he lifted the lid. There it was. The hearing device lying comfortably in the softness of the white cushion. "Close your eyes," he told his boyfriend who complied. He then took the devices out. Attaching them onto the side of [Name]'s head and ears.

The breeze, the sound of the air conditioner running. He hears it. A gush of wind brushes along [Name]'s skin. He gasped sharply and his eyes almost popped out. He hears his breath. His heart beating at a rapid and exciting pace. Adrenaline rushed through his body as he snapped to Shoyo. His eyes glistened. He gave him a longing look. It tells him so much. But one stood out.

Speak for me...!

Without hesitation, Shoyo parted his lips. "[Name], I love you..!" he yelled. Shocked waves filled [Name]. It was so loud that he instantly covered his ears, flinching. The other male panicked. Spouting a series of apologies while his arms flailed around. Then the sound of laughter echoed. He looked at his boyfriend was laughing with tears. [Name] sprung out of his chair, embracing his loved one. "I can hear you!" he beamed. Shoyo's heart pumped. He hugged him back tightly while his lips stretched ear to ear. Practically laughing along with his lover as well. "You can hear me!" he repeated.

"Say my name again, Sho," the [h/c] head asked, nuzzling his nose into the crook of his lover's neck. "[Name]," the other replied. This time saying it slowly and articulated each syllable. "Again," he demanded. Shoyo repeated himself once more. This time his tone was much softer. [Name] pulled away from the hug and leaned in for a sweet kiss. Shoyo didn't hesitate to kiss back, slowly wrapping his arms around the other's neck. "Thank you," the taller male breathed out. Pulling away from Shoyo's lips to kiss his forehead instead. "I love you. I love you. I love you," now kissing all over his face, earning a giggle.

The decoy cupped his face, stopping him from giving any more kisses. He gazed into his eyes with a loving expression. "[Name]. I. Love. You." A light tint of pink painted itself over [Name]'s cheeks. Bringing up his own hands and rested them over Shoyo's.

"Please. Say that again,"

[tags]: @ghostgoosygoose

#x male reader #male reader #top male reader #fanfic #fanfiction #male x male #haikyuu #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#hinata shoyo #hinata shoyo x male reader #hinata shoyo x reader

196 notes · View notes

lunarw0rks · 8 months

Note

Hey✨️

could I please get a Alejandro x f!reader 18+ anything?? You can choose the themes, I just need something scandalous with that man since I'm deep in the thots, everything is permitted in ovulation time clearly🐦‍⬛

Thank You!

♱ Interruptions ♱ // Alejandro Vargas

『♡』 masterlist ♡ rules ♡ ask box ♡ ao3 ver. Warning(s): nsfw, explicit content (18+), established relationship, p^rn w/ little plot, v. fingering, p in v sex, unsafe sex, knife play, degrading, dom/sub, thigh riding, manhandling, brat taming, spanking, rank kink, fem!reader // Word Count: 2k

A/N: anything is permitted, you say?! alright bet, anon. this is filth, but this site is severely lacking in Alejandro content, especially smut. happy to deliver (｡- .•) also, probably some inaccurately translated Spanish here, so I apologize.

Frustration had never plagued you worse. Interruption after interruption; excuses followed by more excuses.

Privacy with him had become a scarce fantasy, at least from where you were sitting.

───♡─────────────

Where you were literally sitting, on his lap.

His mind was somewhere else like it always was when you visited him at work.

Alejandro was a busy man with a flashy rank — there was no denying what you had gotten yourself into. You knew that, otherwise, you wouldn't be there at all.

But the reality of his situation didn't make this aching any easier. You were practically clawing at him for attention. A lingering touch, a verbal tease, any intimacy, for that matter.

The click of him returning his work phone to its stand diverted your thoughts a bit, from swarming you to encouraging you. The hand once wrapped around the phone now found your side again, giving it an effortless rub.

It wasn’t enough — his half-focus.

"Will you be done soon?" The question sounded pure enough, but you knew it wasn't. Another dismissal, and you were going to find a way to get a release, with or without his help.

"Can't make promises, amor, you know that," Alejandro replies, barely lifting his gaze to look at you. Even if he did, you weren't sure he would do anything about your neediness. There was no way he hadn't noticed, not with his over-observance.

Every hitch in your breathing, every gentle murmur to yourself, the way you had a permanent sulk written on your face.

His words were followed by a sigh of discontent from between your lips. You couldn't take it anymore, not after hours of a suffering ache between your legs. Those legs straddled his thigh seconds later, your palm tracing along his shoulders and peck. It was both another tease and a relief, the friction against your clothed core.

The scribbles of his pen intensified as if expressing his irritation with each drag of it. "Maldita sea..." Alejandro mutters to himself, unconsciously bouncing the leg you are sitting upon.

The sudden spring of his thigh results in a whine, then a tense clamp around his clothed shoulder. Your achy clit is pressed further into his toned thighs the more you squirm around it, dooming you to a touchless finish — all derived from something on his report irking him.

Your fingers slid down until you found the hem of your skirt, rolling it up until you've exposed your undergarments. A small splotch of your wetness had soaked through the cotton, leaking onto his pant leg. With every grind of your hips, the slick spreads further — translucent strings of it.

The swirl of release came faster than you could've imagined; no doubt from two hours of clenching your thighs and writhing in his lap. A string of vulgar nothings, the quickening of your rocking hips, and it was over in seconds. At the sound of your loud gasp and unsteady rolls, Alejandro's fingers tightened around your waist to prevent you from tumbling off his knee.

“You made a mess, mi vida.” He had set down the report, letting it slide across his desk and flutter in the air. Alejandro's fingers dug into your flesh more, resulting in a wince. His expression had hardened rather than glossed over; instead of passion, it was authority. "I didn't give you permission to finish, did I?"

The clarity hit you like a truck once you came down from your high. You didn't consider the consequences when so lost in the pleasure, even though it was a hasty decision in the first place.

"I wasn't thinking— I needed you so bad, Ale." You shifted a bit, releasing the grip you still had on your skirt. You had climbed off his lap, suddenly feeling the weight of his displeasure.

With a breathy chuckle, you were yanked backward by the same hem you had just let go of, arms restricted behind your back with his wrists. "No, no, you don't run from this. You can take what I give you. You asked for it, right? Sé bueno para mí... hm?"

The nod you respond with is pathetic and oozing meekness; a stark contrast to your confidence while having his thigh at your disposal. The silver lining to the pleasure in the pain — you had gotten what you wanted. His touch. Hands constricting you, then they're bending you over his desk, and roaming your clothed curves.

Your palms were flat on the desk as you rested your cheek against the smooth wood, catching only small glimpses of his movement in your blind spot. All you could rely on was touch and hearing, heightened now that your eyes were fixed on the wall adjacent.

Flick.

His pocketknife being unfolded, the one Alejandro always kept on him — in uniform or out. The flat edge of the blade danced along your clothed shoulders, straight down your spine to make you shiver. The caress of it resulted in instinctual writhing, which was smothered by his unoccupied hand pressed firmly on your hip, preventing any movement grander than a shiver.

Things had gone too far to plead forgiveness. By now, you knew it was better to take the penances rather than end up earning more for arguing.

A rush of his warm breath enveloped your ear as he leaned forward, modeling the knife in his hand for your viewing, as nothing more than a taunt. "This knife could kill a hundred men, mi amor. Do you understand?"

"You need to stay still," he returned to standing behind you, hiking up your skirt. With haste, he pulled on the fabric of your underwear, cutting through the fabric with one slice. "Otherwise, accidents happen. No queremos eso, ¿verdad?"

The sliced panties slid off your body until they fell to your feet, soaked and now ripped. Your silence wasn't enough, nor was the rapid shake of your head.

He sighed heavily, making his frustration known. "Dime. Use your words."

"No," you breathed, screwing your eyes shut briefly. "No accidents, Colonel."

"Good." His thumb caressed your inner thigh at an agonizing pace, and then his index slowly eased its way into your saturated core. You moaned softly as he curled the digit, solely fingering you to play with the pools of slick.

Alejandro unzips his cargo pants with his free hand, pressing his bulge against your backside. "Soaked for me so soon, you learn quickly, no?" He lets out a sadistic chuckle, arching a second finger and pumping it steadily, watching you writhe from pleasure.

Your thighs are parted wider with a nudge of his knee, not a suggestion but a shove. His fingers pump unpredictably; sometimes slow, other times so fast your body can't catch up.

It's an irresistible torment — one you have to endure if you have any chance of him fucking you right here, right now.

Then, it's the absence of anything stimulating you, his fingers withdrawn with haste. He rolls down his briefs to spring his erection from the tight, restricting cotton. Seconds following, the tip of his length is rutting against you at the same agonizing pace his fingers were. Before you can let out another whine, or anything for that matter, he plunges his entire length inside of your soaking cunt.

Muscles all across your body tense and arch at the sudden fill — whilst your core was relishing in the insatiable stretch of Alejandro bottoming out, the one you had been so viciously craving for hours.

"Fuck," he grinds deeply, tossing his head back when you clench around him. No matter the number of times he's been deep inside of you, he still pleasures you it's his last time. Especially when there's no spare time to waste — like now, on the clock, exposed in his office during daylight hours.

His hips snap rapidly, knocking the air out of your lungs with each thrust. Your walls clench tighter after each jerk of his cock burrowed inside you, arching your back while your fingers clamp around the desk for dear life.

You got what you wanted, after all, but it came at a price. Being fucked-dumb in the middle of his office, doomed for an interruption right as you teetered on the edge of your second orgasm.

The Colonel's fingertips dig into the flesh of your hips firmer with every brutal thrust, "pinche putilla, letting me fuck you like this." One of his palms raises and clashes with your bare rear, enough to make your knees buckle from the twinge. "You're going to cum too, aren't you? Of course, you will, Cariña." Alejandro's words come out a frustrated mutter, one restricted slightly by the grit of his teeth.

The harsh edge of the desk digs deeper against your pelvis, destined to leave a lasting mark as a reminder of your blatant disobedience. Stinging and aching, heightening the sensations you were experiencing. The words he uttered couldn't have been more truthful, either — because you were going to finish, any second now.

Underneath your fingertips, his workspace vibrated; methodical, spaced buzzes of his other work phone. His pumps only halted for a brief moment as he palmed his desk in search of the cell, raising it to his ear when he did. You were about to come undone, and he'd decided to answer the call?

It was torture in its most pleasurable way ― the risk of your moans echoing through the speakers, the deeper breaths and groans Alejandro had to mask.

Your eyes rolled when he jabbed into you firmer than before, daring you to lose your composure. But, based on his rambling to the other line, he truly couldn't risk this one.

As the caller's muffled voice was heard, even to you in your state of extreme restraint, a cloth napkin he used to clean a coffee spill found your foggy view. He stuffed the caffeine-stained linen into your agape mouth for you to sink your teeth into as you gushed around his cock. Your fingers dug into the oak, trembling wildly as your climax overtook you.

Whatever moans or mewls you let out, they were soaked up by the napkin in your mouth, as was all of your remaining saliva. Alejandro's voice had faded into a faint whisper whilst you were in the thick of stimulation. The sounds of your orgasm echoed through your parched mouth and throat, a stark contrast to your dripping core lubricating his thrusts.

Alejandro watched you come undone with a smirk, still engaging the caller with short, nonchalant replies to every question. Oh, how he reveled in watching you like this ― ass jiggling as your body swallows his length, eyes lidded and drowsy, and even with the napkin in your mouth, you're making your best attempt to stifle your sounds.

It seemed like forever, before the phone clattered against the desk again; powered off and with notifications hushed temporarily. You had well-earned this high, after being so good for him. He did notice your attempts at getting his attention during lunch, or when he would exit a meeting and you'd be waiting in the hall for him with ogling sheep's eyes ― how your attempts at masking desperation weakened as the hours passed.

His fingers plucked the linen from between your teeth, allowing him to observe your delirious expression. Alejandro's palm struck your backside again, this time giving the tender skin a soothing rub; his futile attempt at soothing you for taking his pounds so well. The little control he had while on the phone had dwindled.

His thrusts halted in speed, stopping completely when he spurted his cum deep within you. Warm, stringy splotches of his seed coated your walls, spilling down your shivering thighs when he withdrew from you.

This time, the next spank was that of a playful one ― a barely-there smack on the flesh of your inflamed backside. Still, he caressed the marks he left from the harsher ones, feeling the gentle heat radiate off the sore spots.

『 "Next time you want to cum, nena ― you ask." 』

————— ୨୧ ————— divider cred. - cafekitsune

#mw2 #call of duty #task force 141 #mw2 fanfic #task force 141 x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #alejandro vargas #colonel vargas #alejandro vargas x you #los vaqueros #cod x reader #alejandro vargas smut #141 headcanons #tf 141 x reader #cod x female reader #cod x y/n #cod x you #alejandro cod

514 notes · View notes

huexuri · 3 months

Note

bsf!yeonjun who can't help but think of reader everytime he jerks off

NSFW, MDNI! - drabble

warnings: yeonjun has an obsession w reader, fem reader, sub yeonjun, bsf yeonjun, yeonjun is kinda nasty and a perv, mommy kink w a bunch of other pet names, masturbating, choking kink

note: tbh.... i could've made him nastier but..

bsf!yeonjun who only thinks of you whenever he's playing with himself.. who only moans your name when he thinks you're not around, who never ever mentions or even let his fantasies about you slip through the cracks of the wall between you both — friendship.

during one of your lectures with him, you really couldn't ignore the fact that he's— first of all, sitting right beside you. which of course you never really cared, he's your gossip listener anyway. but secondly, because of that, it doesn't take a genius to notice that he's constantly staring at your breasts and thighs, especially because of the outfit that you wore just for him which subtly flaunted all your curves that only he could notice, because this is definitely not the first time he's "sneakily" taken a look at your irresistible body. he doesn't only like your body, but the way your hair falls and frames your face as you raise a hand to ask a question, or the way your eyes crinkle up at the corners when he'd made you smile with a stupid joke, or even the silkiness of your voice that resonates throughout the lecture hall when you present in the front of everyone, that always sounded like music to his ears no matter how many times he's heard it.

in short, he's so obsessed with you, anything about you drives him crazy, makes him mesmerized. you're so perfect in his eyes but of course, you're both.. just friends. so what can he do about his obsession, but admire you in private?

he doesn't think you know that everyday after classes with you, he'd return to the rented apartment that the both of you share for the time being — and relieves himself after the pretty sight of you in that slightly see through button-up shirt that so obviously in his eyes, exposed your cleavage. he's running his long, bony fingers through his sweaty hair as the lens of his spectacles fog up, lips parting ever so slightly as he fists his shaft up and down, chanting softly, "more, more.." and biting his lips to prevent any noise from coming out of him. grey sweats crumpled down to his knees and zip-up hoodie slanting to one side, hanging off one of his shoulders, so fucked out and needy, he just wishes he was yours.

"mm.. yeah? 'm your n-nasty boy, only for you... i'm such a perv, aren't i? mmh..mommy,, needyou—sso badly... i'm sorry for being such a bad boy. sorry.. 'm so... sorry."

his free hand traveling all over his torso and up his neck, imagining that it's you who's touching his body and choking him for being such a filthy person, his fist increasing in pace, imagining it's your gummy walls squeezing around his wet shaft, he's sucking his own slender fingers wishing it was you that thrusted them into the walls of his warm mouth as you call him a dirty boy, so nasty all for you and only you. he really can't help the fact that he's so obsessed with you, he's so guilty that he's masturbating to the thought of you when he thinks you've done nothing to make him like this. he just can't control it.. and he knows he's such a perv for that.

if only he knew you've been outside his room all this time, watching him through the gap of the slightly opened door and knowing he's aching for your touch, throbbing for your praises and longing for you to pin him down and choke him.

won't you go in and punish him for being such a creep? such a whore, that can't help but have nobody else on his mind but you? :[

#xuri inbox #xuri writes #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt smut #yeonjun smut #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun hard thoughts #yeonjun hard hours #yeonjun x reader

274 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

Note

AITA for being the reason my mom and her boyfriend broke up?

My (23) mom has been with this person since I was 7 years old. They do not nor have they ever lived together (in fact, he lives a state away and drives here every thursday-sunday). To his credit, he has shown up for me for orchestra concerts, graduation, flight pick ups, etc almost my whole life whereas my dad has not. However I have not liked him since I was around 17 years old (we were in the middle of a very long drive two states away from home yet AT NIGHT. My mom has high anxiety and can't see very well at night and he screamed at her for not driving but then didn't even stop the car to let her drive anyway?? And when she started crying he jerked the radio up to the highest volume and ignored me kicking and yelling at him in the back because I could've driven instead but whatever)

Anyway. He has a history of tantrums and outbursts like the above. He's never been violent, but one time he hid my mom's cat's ashes just to upset her. He broke her potted plants, showed up at her work to yell at her more, etc. Thanksgiving of 2020, he had me cornered against the wall and was screaming in my face about how ungrateful and disrespectful I am because I didnt talk to him enough while I was home for break. We ended up having to leave our house and stay at a friend's.

And yet my mom forgave him because he cried and apologized to her. But never to me. And she expected me to forgive and move on because she "knows he has a good heart."

Anyway anyway, my mom knew how I felt after that. To prevent him having meltdowns on Christmas or his birthday or fathers day, she would get him gifts and put my name on them. Which I never asked her to do.

Well this year for Christmas he decided I once again was not being grateful or respectful or appreciate enough to/for him. My mom told me to call him and apologize and I said no, because he's never apologized to me and I didn't think I had even done anything. Plus, if I DID apologize out of nowhere for not meeting his expectations he would've known my mom told me to do so.

I was on the long drive home for break when they got into a big fight about me. He asked her if she would choose him or me and she chose me. He broke the brand new TV she bought him for Christmas and the entertainment stand it was on. They haven't seen each other since.

My mom says it's not my fault, but I feel like I've always been the one wedging between them. I'm the one who couldn't let things go, I'm the one who obviously avoids him, I'm the one who won't accept his apologies through a third party. She says this is for the best because they're on different paths and now she can focus on herself, her own happiness, and her faith (which is very important to her and not at all for him).

I just wish my mom was able to come to this conclusion without me being the catalyst. There had to have been a better way to go about this. I don't think I'm blameless here. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

151 notes · View notes

shantechni · 8 months

Text

Leo the Leader vs Leo the Learner

I know almost every iteration of TMNT emphasizes that the boys cannot properly function as a team without everyone there, especially without their fearless leader.

In terms of cartoons and movies though (as much as I've had time to watch/rewatch), the '03 and '12 series are my personal favorites, with Rise and MM tying for a very close second, because they both acknowledge issues in the team that the characters work to fix. '03 Leo and '12 Leo both struggle to lead the team at significant points in their respective stories, but the manner in which they struggle and what they struggle with differentiate, in a good way mind you.

In the 2003 series, the very first episode opens with Leo already being in the leading position as he tries to keep his brothers from going off script or doing something irreparable while they work to find Splinter. And when they do eventually find themselves in trouble, he's the one to lead them through it and make it back to Splinter in one piece. We see this formula more or less repeat for almost three seasons with a few different variables to spice things up; the brothers look to Leo for guidance, think of a plan of action with their combined efforts, and go from there.

Until the S3 finale.

The boys had times where they wondered if they'd make it out alive, but this was the first where it genuinely seemed like the end for their little family, and Leo could do nothing but watch as they execute their plan to blow up with the starship.

Of course they survive, otherwise we wouldn't have another four seasons💀but that short amount of time was more than enough to scar Leo, physically and emotionally. When he begins closing himself off from everyone, April's the only one to get him to open up and he lays it all out: He feels like a failure of a leader. He wasn't strong enough to protect his family or stop the Shredder, their last resort was going out with a bang, and they had to be saved by the Utroms. It doesn't feel like they won and he doesn't feel like he accomplished anything.

His fears and frustrations manifest into an ever present anger, slowly going from cold to hot, that chooses its target at random. His brothers don't know what to do since they don't seem to know why Leo's behaving this way, nor have they ever seen him like this. And dear Mikey says something that so accurately sums up their team: "...it can’t be fun always being the responsible one, and we’re the ones who really benefit. Raph’s free to not think ‘cause Leo does all the thinking for him. Don’s free to dream, and I’m free to take it easy, all ‘cause Leonardo is busy being responsible enough for all of us."

Mikey knows Leo is cracking under the pressure of his role partly because they've become so comfortable in their own roles, and no one refutes him. They didn't intend for Leo to translate this dynamic into, "everything is on you," but that's how it inevitably turned out over time. One could even argue that them not knowing how to handle this new Leonardo is yet another downside to them getting too comfortable, and it doesn't help that Splinter is the only one (aside from Usagi on one instance) who attempts to help Leo, even when the young turtle is pushing him away.

Things finally boil over when Leo pushes a little too hard though and harms Splinter during training, a regrettable action that clears away the steely air he had around himself for so long.

It's not until Splinter sends him off to see the Ancient One that Leo finally pulls himself out of that bubble of negativity and he accepts that there was nothing more he could've done in their final fight against the Shredder.

He did all that he could, and he can continue doing all that he can for his family.

In a weird way, Karai's violent eviction notice was exactly what everyone needed.

Leo was told his family likely hadn't survived the attack, something he'd spent countless days trying to prevent through relentless training, but he believed they were okay and ultimately found them alive. He wasn't there to protect them, but he sees for himself that they made it out without his help, and this was also a learning experience for the others if you think about it. They've already been shown to be capable of handling situations on their own or in pairs, but this was the first time they had to deal with a huge confrontation as a team without the comfort of their leader behind their shells.

Raph is the one who takes the helm for a brief few seconds and dishes out instructions amid the chaos, telling everyone to split up, find their way out and meet back up on the surface, with one last demand for them to be careful. And when Leo finds him, his distress is palpable; he couldn't find the others and therefore had no idea if they were okay, let alone alive, while he kept himself hidden from Karai's forces. Before this, we see that Raph is willing to make his own plan of action in this series' version of City at War when he doesn't go with Leo's word. But this time, in Leo's absence, we see he's willing to fill in as leader when the situation calls for it, and he realizes he isn't quite cut out for leadership like Leo.

We don't see any significant shift in team dynamics after this, mainly because Leo's inner turmoil from their fight with the Shredder is what caused problems with the team in the first place, but that goes to show that outside influences are what gave birth to the team conflict. Despite me pointing out earlier how Leo shoulders quite a bit not just because of his role but because of his brothers' roles as well, we can see throughout the series that Leo doesn't buckle from the pressure until they're in a situation where he can't effectively perform his role to his satisfaction.

As I mentioned in the beginning, Leo had been a leader in essence and in name for many years before their first home was raided by the Mousers. It makes perfect sense for him and his brothers to be accustomed to it by now.

2012 Leonardo is not used to being a leader. He may undeniably be a leader in essence, and had the drive and desire to be one, but he definitely wasn't a leader in name. The very first episode doesn't even open up with Leo being a leader, let alone with the turtles being a team. Their first time fighting together is a train wreck, and rather than Leo's strong sense of ethics and honor being the catalyst for his recruitment (not at first at least), it's the beginning of their long battle against the Kraang that convinces Splinter to officially deem him the leader of a newly formed team.

Being leader doesn't automatically mean the team will follow or respect you, which is something Leo learns right away thanks to his brothers, with Raph in particular challenging him when they butt heads over their opposing plans and ideals. It's touched upon in Rise of the Turtles Part 2, but Raph's desire to lead isn't a major plot device until New Girl in Town where he gets a taste of how Leo feels everytime he's responsible for his brothers and their wellbeing. However, Raph makes it known that even though he's resigned himself to not being the leader, he still doesn't like being told what or how to do something. Even Donnie challenges Leo when they can't agree on the best course of action in preparation for the Kraang, but Donnie realizes arguing was pointless as the invasion begins without warning and makes the idea of a second base the more favorable option.

His brothers aren't his only test of will though, as there are a handful of times where Leo questions his ability to lead and wonders if Splinter chose the right turtle for the job. Throughout all of that though, the boys ultimately rely on Leo and follow his lead when all is said and done.

Where this Leo truly differs from '03 Leo is that he not only struggles with leading a team that isn't so keen on being led, but he also struggles to grasp that he leads a team.

There are many times in the series where Leo runs off on his own or makes the decision to tackle something himself rather than with help, and that's not out of the norm, especially in comparison to his own brothers and '03 Leo. The problem is that '12 Leo's solo decision making more often than not leads to trouble (we all know the tale of him trying to turn Karai to the good side without informing the team about her). One of the first major examples of this though was in the S1 finale when he takes Splinter's words a little too close to heart and gives his brothers the scare of their life. Granted, him holding back Kraang Prime kept it on the sinking Technodrome, but you get what I'm saying.

His family actively calls him out on this behavior on two separate occasions during S4.

After they'd spent six months with the Fugatoid fighting the Triceratons and racing to collect every piece of the black hole generator before them, Fugatoid reveals that he was the one who made the world ending device, a reveal that lights a flame of betrayal in everyone, especially Raph and Leo. Believing that they're being used by Fugatoid, Leo rides off in a stealth ship on his own and nearly gets himself killed, a move that has his brothers scolding him, with Raph being the most vocal about Leo's idiotic decision: "Leaders are called leaders because they're supposed to lead a TEAM!"

The moment isn't lingered upon for long, but they all make it clear that they're tired of Leo's one man missions. They're a team, so they should plan and function like one.

Then, in Broken Foot, Leo starts doing missions with Karai and Shinigami in secret to aid them in taking revenge against the Shredder, but, in an attempt to find out what Leo was hiding from them, the other turtles get caught up in their plans and Donnie gets hurt. Leo immediately abandons Karai (who later apologizes for what happened) and Shinigami to check on them and come clean.

He explains to Splinter later on that he didn't fill anyone in on the situation at first because he knew no one would've agreed to help Karai get revenge, and he acknowledges that it was stupid of him to think he could control the situation. Splinter expresses his disappointment, and April reprimands him for once again not trusting his own team enough for them to help him.

Leo apologizes to Raph and Mikey afterwards, even going so far to say he probably doesn't deserve to lead the team after this, something Raph just harumphs at while Mikey remains silent. He pleads for their help in stopping and eventually aiding Karai and Shinigami, and they go along with him to fix things as a team.

We no longer get any one man missions from Leo in S5 (there surprisingly weren't any in S3 lol), likely for a whole list of reasons ranging from leading in Splinter's absence to learning from his mistakes over time. But he makes sure that whatever they have to do gets done together, and he does his best to keep his brothers in line.

I suppose one could say that '03 Leo remembered what it meant to be a leader, while '12 Leo discovered what it meant to lead.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo #2003 leo #2012 leo #analysis

305 notes · View notes

codfanficedits · 6 months

Text

Final tribute

If you're looking for a sign to stay alive, this is it.

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader

Summary: Suicide.

Wordcount: 4968| Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: SUICIDE, mentioning of self-harm, mentioning of shoplifting, mentioning of a fucked up childhood.

A/N: Today (third of November) marks the 9 years anniversary of my best friend killing herself. It has taken me years to come over the guilt, and even 9 years later I still wonder if I could've prevented this. But I couldn't and she is gone. In a way I hope she'll live forever through me and my stories. We were teenagers, having to cope with shit that adults couldn't even cope with. I love you and even though you'll always stay 19 you're still my best friend. Until we meet again. A/N 2: If you're struggling yourself. Please know that life will be worth it, the sun will shine on you too one day, and you'll find the joy in life once more. I've struggled with suicidality and sometimes I still do. But. It. gets. better. I promise.

The silence lingers in the air as he sits on the chair next to your bed. You’re sleeping, getting some much deserved rest, but he can’t help but be angry at you. Angry for attempting, angry for not sharing what was going through your mind, angry at the professionals, for just letting you go again. But his anger gets replaced by guilt as he watches you sleep. Because if you were to die, it would’ve been his fault, at least to Simon.

Except that it wasn’t his fault. You just weren’t made for life and you knew it. Depression had been weighing you down since your teenage years, following you like a ball and chain into adulthood. No matter how much you tried, how hard you tried to fight it, it was a losing battle. A cruel dance with fate. Simon’s eyes wander around the self-harm scars that cover your body, a reminder of your battle, a reminder of every time your mind won the battle against your will to live.

As Simon’s guilt deepens, tears fall from his eyes. You always used to tell him “a cry a deep keeps the demons away.” So, he cried. You had always used your humour as a shield to cope, as a shield to keep people out of the dark abyss of your mind. No one would suspect a thing if you just kept joking about it.

It was a painful realisation – the guilt, but also the truth in those words. It was what he missed most about you, your smile, your warmth, your kindness. He misses your wisdom the most. Maybe if he had tried to understand you more, none of this would be happening. His heart ached with regret and longing.

Simon felt lost. He remembered your humour, but he could never make the thoughts leave his head. How you were always so lively and funny, but had suffered in silence for so long.

This had worried you the most. Not the dying alone part, you had made peace with dying alone a long time ago. But the failing of your plan, and how it would hurt the people around you.

He knew you hadn’t meant to hurt him, but he didn’t think he could find the way to forgive you yet. As for himself, he felt he could never forgive himself for not noticing earlier. How close you had been to death. How far he had allowed this to go, without a single moment’s notice. Not that this would’ve changed anything for you, you would’ve done it either way. With or without him noticing. The depression that had been brewing in you for more than a decade was a ticking time bomb, being set off without anything mayor happening. But this had been a messy attempt, your mind too crowded to think properly, the pain of being alive too much to bear. So you had made mistakes, mistakes that caused your attempt to fail. Mistakes that would make you hate yourself even more. Mistakes that would be carved into your skin the moment you had the chance. Simon couldn't help but feel your attempts to hide your depression had been his fault. Had he not made you believe you had to? Or was this merely some cruel trick his mind was playing on itself? He wanted to hold your hand so badly, to feel your warmth, to tell you he loved you. But you were sleeping. His guilt consumed him. He began thinking of every moment you had been depressed, every instance he hadn't helped, every time he hadn't noticed a thing. But truth be told, you would never had let him help you, your depression had been weighing you down, pulling you under the surface while you desperately tried not to drown.

But drowning is a silent thing to do.

And you, you felt as if the whole world had to be carried on your shoulders. Professionals had failed you, and friends were not made to carry such a heavy load. So you carried it all by yourself, allowing yourself to slip under the surface of the water. Simon was terrified. The idea of you suffering in silence hurt him more than he ever imagined it would. He wanted to tell you how much you affected the lives of those around you. How he had looked up to you for your wisdom, your humour, your honesty. How you had brightened his days just by being there. He also wanted to say how sorry he was for not noticing your depression sooner. But you weren't awake. So he stayed beside your bed, waiting. Hoping. Praying that you would live.

The disappointment of being alive would wash over you soon enough, and you would have to live with that disappointment, a disappointment to yourself and your friend. Your eyes flutter as you begin to wake up, the sunlight burning through your closed eyelids, the pain you feel a reminder that you’re alive. But you don’t want to open your eyes. You can’t face reality, not yet. A wave of relief washed over Simon as he felt you stir. He was still angry, worried, confused, but he couldn't keep the smile from his face. He reached for your hand, wanting to hold on to the life he had thought he lost. Wanting to hold on to you. Wanting to let you know just how much you meant to him.

"Don't leave me again."

You can’t answer him, not yet. You have to deal with the disappointment of being alive first, before you can tend to him.

Fuck

How you wished you were dead, how you wished that you had succeeded, how you wished you had finally found your peace. You turn to your side, curling up as a ball, the sobs that leave your lips are raw, violent even. As if your soul got broken open and you can’t stop your feeling from pouring out. As Simon watched you curl up into a ball, his heart ached. He could feel your hurt, your anger, your pain, and wished he could take it away from you. And he felt you needed this, this release, this raw feeling. But he also understood how much you disliked your existence. How unfair this life had been to you. How many times you had been disappointed by it all. By other people, probably. But he hoped in the end, you would know how much he appreciated and cared for you. Your tears didn’t stop, by all means they just poured harder, more violent. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did you have to be alive? Your feelings turn into anger, angry at yourself for failing, for staying alive, angry at the universe for playing these cruel tricks. “Fuck, Simon.” You sob. “I can’t do this.” Simon felt his anger dissipate, replaced by worry. He couldn't see you this way. So hurt. So depressed. So angry at the world, at life. That anger had always been the first thing he thought of when he pictured you, but not like this. Not the world's anger. Your own. "Hey hey, it's alright." He sat down next to you. "We can get through this together. Just me and you, like always." And that was when, for a moment, he almost believed it.

But you can’t, you don’t want to. You had been trying to get through it, with him, without him. But you’re tired. Tired of trying not to drown when the world is pulling you under. So, so, so tired. “I don’t want to, Simon.” You whisper and your voice sounds tired, as if you’ve been up for days. “I can’t fight anymore.” "Stop." he whispered, his heart aching. This wasn't the reality he wanted to admit, but it was one that was hard to deny. "Please, can't you see how many people care about you? I'm not talking about friends and family, I'm talking about me. Don't you think seeing you like this hurts me?" He knew you were tired. He knew you wanted to just disappear from the world of pain and suffering. And so he tried one last time. "Don't disappoint me." You squeeze his hand, to the point that your own hand starts to hurt from the power. You could see the pain in his face. The pain you had caused. And the guilt hit you like a ton of bricks. You feel so selfish, like you always have been.

“I’m so sorry for putting you through this.” "Stop... stop apologizing." He felt you squeeze his hand, and took it as a sign of hope. Perhaps there was still a chance, even at your lowest, to fight for life. "I'm your friend. I'll always fight with you, even when you can't fight anymore. Especially then. Maybe we can learn how to fight this together." He hoped it wasn't too far gone. He didn't want to lose you to the darkness. But what would you do if it wasn’t apologizing? It was all you did. Apologizing for existing, apologizing for not being good enough, apologizing for being depressed. For being alive. You give his hand a softer squeeze. “Thank you, Simon.” You mumble. “Thank you for being here, and I’m sorry if I’ve let you down.” "You've never let me down," he whispered back. His eyes were soft, and his expression gentle. All the anger, guilt and disappointment had vanished. He was thinking of you, how hard you had tried — harder than most would. He knew this. He felt this. He couldn't blame you for wanting an escape. An escape he wished he could provide.

"Don't you see? You're the strongest person I know. You're the last person to need to apologize."

His words. No matter how kind they were. They didn't register. You understood them, they were words you could even tell to others. But those words weren't meant for you. Not to someone like you.

So you laid there, curled up in a ball, the disappointment of being alive weighing on you. But they were meant for you. They were for you. Because even when you felt broken, he saw you as strong. When you were tired, you were resilient.

"Let me come a little closer." Simon shifted closer, trying to place his hand on your arm. He wanted to hold on. He wanted to feel you. Your warmth, your touch, your comfort in his hand.

You were hurt, but he wanted to hold that warmth, hold on to you. Because it felt like a treasure to him.

"Rest," he told you. And he meant it; he wanted you to take a break. You were so tired, so full of self-destruction.

He stayed with you in that bed, even as he felt your strength slip away. He wouldn't leave you until he was sure you could fight back. You would fight back, and he would do whatever he could to help you, to make the world a more bearable place. To give the light inside your soul room to heal.

And so your first attempt ended like this. With Simon holding you.

But you were broken, broken beyond repair, and one attempt turned into two, turned into three. All while Simon's life just continued. His missions, his deployments. And there you were. Feeling like a burden again. Simon felt his heart sink with each attempt, his anger growing with each disappointment. It made him feel powerless, unable to help you get better. To show you how much the world needed you. How much he needed you. "Not again..." His voice trembled with tears, a look of desperation on his face. He wanted you to recover, but felt hopeless. He felt that maybe he had already failed you, but didn't dare think it. Because if there was a chance for you to survive... he wanted you to take it. It must've been exhausting for him too. Not knowing if a call from you was just to catch up, or if he would hear just sobs, and rambling about how you couldn't take it anymore. How he had spent hours and hours talking to you. Unable to cope with the guilt of something would've happened to you.

But he was only human, and humans can only take so much.

You look at your phone. Tears streaming down your face as you had called him. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing..." He sighed. "I can't take this anymore. You can't keep doing this. Can't keep hurting yourself, can't keep hurting others, can't keep hurting me."

He didn't want to shout, but for the first time his anger began to surface. He wanted to see you get better, but his hopes were dwindling. "Just... please." Simon was at a loss of words. "How can I make you feel better about all this? What do you need?"

His anger was justified. In your attempt to stay longer on this earth you were dragging him along your misery.

"I'm sorry!" You repeat again, as the tears roll down your cheeks. "I don't know Simon." You hated that you had called him, once again. He was on deployment, unable to help you.

"Can you let me go?"

Simon felt his stomach knot. "Absolutely not." He knew his anger could hurt you, but had to hold on to his hopes of saving you. Because he had promised himself he wouldn't let you escape like this.

"No. No way." He let his voice raise, his anger making him feel stronger. "I am not letting you go." He would not hurt you further, but he would also not let you give up. He had to try.

A decision was made.

And you took a deep, deep breath. "Right." You mutter. "I'm sorry, again."

You wipe away your tears. "I know you're busy. And I really don't want to bother you. But can we just talk? Talk about our time at high school?" "Always." Simon smiled softly as the knot in his stomach disappeared. He felt more hopeful now that he had gotten your attention, and felt his anger melt away. "You know you're never a bother. How I wish the only thing I had going on was to speak to you." He tried to joke, but his concern for you clouded his humour.

"Tell me the first thing that comes to mind. High school. Any memories."

A soft sigh left your lips. You could hear his concern. You could hear your heart crumble when he joked about all the things that were going on, and how you were just another add on to that pile. But you pushed it away. This phone call had to turn into a light one. One without more worries.

"Remember how we met?" You ask. "In our self-defence class. You were brand new and I was a black belt. We hit off immediately, and then it turned out we went to the same high school." A smile formed on your face. Better times.

"I remember us secretly smoking behind the building." You snicker. Simon's smile broadened, the memory coming back to him as if they were there a second ago.

"I've always wondered what would have happened if I didn't go to that class." The smile faded again, replaced by thoughtfulness, as Simon considered how different his life would have been. He likely would have never met you. "I wasn't as tough as you remember, I was just taller." He chuckled. "I remember my first day, and you told me about your past. And you asked me about my life — which I was very quiet about then. What else do you remember?" You can’t help but chuckle. "Yeah we definitely did some trauma bonding. Two people with a fucked up childhood."

You clear you throat. "I'm glad we both managed to escape our homelife."

At the mention of trauma bonding, the smile dropped from Simon's face. It was true, it was how you had bonded. And it was one of the worst ways to bond. But he knew you were still thinking about it, and didn't want to change the mood of the call. "Don't think about that," he said. "Come on now, we can't let a shitty childhood ruin our lives." He was one to talk. Running away at eighteen to join the military. You both knew that your childhood would haunt, till the end of times. But you dropped the subject. Not in the mood to ruin this phone call. "Yeah yeah." You mutter.

"I remember you sneaking out of school to shoplift a can of coke." You laugh. "I was so goddamn worried you'd get caught." "Not as worried as me." Simon laughed. "I didn't get caught, though. So my criminal record is still clean... for now." "Although it is a miracle you never got caught. I don't think I've paid for a single can of coke in my last year of high school, thanks to you."

Simon felt his spirits lift, as he recalled all the stolen sodas you and him had split. It had gotten harder to sneak them in as you went up the year grades, but you had enjoyed those stolen moments of sweetness together.

For a few moments, it was as if you were still in those high school halls. Stealing drinks, telling each other about your past, and trying to escape your family life by spending all your time together. But now you were far apart, and there were other problems in your lives. Life had changed. "God. We were idiots." You sighed. "The amount of times we skipped school just to hang in the park and smoke."

"I still don't get how we graduated." You add with a smile, the phone call was helping to take your mind off things.

"We were almost too late for our math final." "We were extremely late for our maths final," he corrected. "But it got us through, didn't it?" He chuckled nervously, thinking of how close you came on several occasions to being kicked out.

"We weren't idiots. Life was just hard." He sighed, his eyes growing softer with each word, "We just needed to find ways to escape. And somehow, we made it." He knew you were feeling better, and thought for a moment. Perhaps he did want to push you a bit, to help you heal.

Of course you remembered, life had been hard for the both of you, yet somehow he had managed better.

"Somehow we made it." You repeat. "Thanks for staying on the phone with me, Simon. I know you're busy, and I'm feeling better right now. I'll keep you updated through text, okay?" "The day you don't call me on your lowest is the day you stop being my friend." Simon tried to joke. He wanted to lighten the mood, but also make you feel wanted. It was important to him that you did not feel like a burden.

"And don't apologize. Your emotions are the most important to me... don't push them away. I just wish I could be there to hold you through it all."

"You don't have to rush." Simon added, a sense of finality to his words.

"You staying on that call meant more than you'll realise." You said. "I'll text you soon okay? Take care Simon."

You ended the call, with a soft smile. Outgoing call: 57 minutes and 26 seconds. It did you more good than you had expected.

Simon sighed. Although it had been a long call, it felt like it had gone by in a flash. He kept thinking about that joke he made, about the day you stopped calling him on your worst days. And how he didn't want that day to ever come.

He knew you had been hurt too much in your life, so he was happy to keep being with you. To keep talking, to keep lifting you up again. He thought he had succeeded, too. Maybe you wouldn't try to hurt yourself again.

"I'll talk to you later." He muttered to himself.

You did feel better. Your house got cleaner, you started going out more. No longer calling in sick to your job that often.

You snapped a pick of a sunrise, sending it to Simon. "Made me think of you." You texted before you went on with your day. A little check in to let him know you were okay. He smiled as he read the message, feeling his heart lift as he read it. It was more than just a little message to Simon. It was what he needed to see, to know you were recovering, and happy. To know that all of the time and effort he put into helping you was paying off. He wanted to tell you right now that he was proud of you, that he was happy for you. But maybe you didn't need that yet. So, he kept it to himself for now. He responded with a simple "Thanks" message.

You did it every day. Usually in the morning. Sunrises. A flower. A dog. Anything that made you happy. And he usually responded with a "Thanks." But that was enough for now.

Your therapist applauded it, and that made you happy too.

You crouched down during one of your walks. Making a picture of one of the first fungi you had spotted during her walk. You send the picture to Simon.

"First one! When is your next deployment?"

Simon was glad for the daily pictures, and did his best to keep it up. He wanted you to feel like you were important to him, so he had to try and be more attentive to your messages. He stopped in the hallway as he read your latest message.

"Uh, this weekend. For three weeks." He texted.

He wondered if he should say more, but did not want to overwhelm you. He was happy already. You were alive, and looking at flowers and fungi. You were feeling better.

Ah. Three weeks. You knew he didn't have any service while deployed. Something with safety and all that. But you didn't mind. The cold November air hit your face, and it made you feel alive. You took a deep breath, letting the crisp air fill your lungs.

"That sucks :(. I'll keep sending you the nice things I find on walks, even if you can't see them right away." You texted back.

Simon was glad you understood, and didn't want you to think he didn't care. He tried not to think about the length of the deployment, or the fact that he would likely not be able to talk to you for three weeks. But it didn't matter, because you were recovering.

"Send whatever photos you want, I won't be able to respond, but I will love looking at them." He texted. "Three weeks go by faster than you'd think. I'll be home before you know it."

You did the math. He would be gone on the first of November. And he would be back around the 22nd.

"Do you think you'll be home for Christmas? It’s been a while since we celebrated together." You texted him back.

Your text felt like a punch to the gut. It was true, it had been a while since you had celebrated Christmas together. Your last Christmas together had been two years ago, and it had been an awkward one at that.

Simon tried to put on a brave face. "I'm going to try." He texted. "If I'm lucky, I'll be back late December... maybe even early." He wondered if you would take these answers well, or if he had just made things worse.

"That's great. We'll work the details out when you're back from deployment, no worries." You texted back. There was a light spring in your step as you walked to your job. As if the weight of the world had fallen off your shoulders. "I'll text you tomorrow before you leave for your mission :)"

"Sounds good." Simon was glad to see you in high spirits again. "Talk to you soon."

You and Simon continued to exchange photos for the remainder of the week. He sent you images of training exercises, and you sent him photos of birds, and flowers. It was the highlight of both your days. On Saturday morning, the day before Simon was to depart for the mission, he sent you a voice message. He was standing in his room, as he talked.

"Hey. How are you today?" Some days you just exchanged pictures. The others you had whole conversations. But that was okay, you understood he was busy, and you didn't need his attention all of the time. You smiled when you got his voice message, it was nice to hear his voice again.

"Simon! I'm good, best I've been in a while." You answered through a voice message. "How are you? What time are you leaving?"

"I'm glad." That was always Simon's response, when he heard you were doing 'well.' He had grown to love seeing your photos, and the few conversation you had together throughout the week kept him going. He sounded excited when he spoke, and you could hear a little of the anticipation in his voice.

"Leaving in 20 minutes." He sent. "I'm feeling pretty good, to be honest. A little nervous, but I'm looking forward to the mission."

"You're a good soldier, Simon." You responded through your voice message. "Those three weeks will be over in no time, and when you're back we can go plan Christmas. In the meantime. I'll send you my daily pictures, so you have something to look at when you get back." You added in another voice message

Simon smiled when he heard you call him a good soldier. It felt nice, to be recognized. And to be seen.

He sent back one message that simply said, "Thanks."

He got ready for the mission, grabbing his gear and getting into his squad vehicle.

As he drove in quiet, he thought about planning Christmas. It felt nice, looking forward to things. Maybe you and him could go on a little trip, or do something fun together.

He was optimistic, and couldn't wait for the next three weeks to be over.

On November first you send him a picture of a sunset.

"Reminds me of you. I miss you :)"

But you got no answer, knowing he was out in a mission and had no reception.

On November second you send him a picture of a dandelion, a cat, and the moon.

"Even though we're apart we're looking at the same moon."

And again you got no answer, but you knew he had no reception.

On November third you send him a selfie, a smile on your face.

"I will miss you Simon. Take care. I will always love you. You've been a great friend. You've been my best friend."

On November third you put your phone back on your desk before you left your home. The walk to the train station was short. You had led them all on, but it was your time to leave.

You had held on to life as long as you could. But you were done. You were tired. You couldn't live another day, but at least he would have some good memories of you.

"I'm sorry." You mutter as you saw the train approaching.

One deep breath.

You and Simon always had a habit of sending photos to each other. Especially of the sky. Simon felt a sinking feeling come over him as he saw your last pictures. It was a beautiful sunset, but the words you chose had taken away much of its beauty.

"God damn..." He whispered as he read your message. "Is this what I think it is?" He started getting a thousand thoughts at once, all flooding through his brain.

What could he have done?

Should he have said something different?

You were going to be okay. You were getting better.

Nothing. Nothing could've been done. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't the fault of your therapist. No one was at fault.

Some people just weren't made to grow old, and you were one of them. Your depression had haunted you and had finally taken you to the dark abyss. You were finally at peace.

Simon tried to push away the thoughts of all you were going to miss. All of the life you were going to miss. He could not believe it. He simply couldn't. The person he tried to cheer up, was gone. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault... He kept repeating that to himself, but deep inside he knew that had always been true. He had done all he could. All he had been able to. And that would never be enough to make you stay. Simon's eyes were growing red, but he tried to keep himself strong. It had only been hours after you died, and he was already questioning everything.

"I'll remember you." He said, to no one. He thought of all of the times he tried to help you, the pictures you sent him. The jokes. the little conversations you shared. He couldn't believe it. Simon tried to dial you, to call you, to call for an answer. But he knew that there was nothing he could do now. Nothing but hope that heaven was real. Nothing but hope that he would see you again. Nothing but hope that this was all a horrible joke, a sick nightmare.

The photos of the sunset, the cat, the moon, all lay in front of him. They looked like a cruel joke. Like reality's cruellest and sickest joke of all.

You weren't supposed to end.

248 notes · View notes

miss-madness67 · 6 months

Text

Wake Up (Dean)

Prompt: You're in a coma, and Dean waits for you to wake up.

It's been three days since you went into a coma after that demon threw you out the window. Even though the brothers took you immediately to the hospital, the doctors were restless about your case. Dean has been waiting for you to wake up, never leaving your side, and constantly blaming himself for not looking after you as he should’ve. That's bullshit, of course, because there's nothing he could've done to prevent the current situation. Still, he takes it upon himself to take care of you, until you wake up. Because you’re going to wake up. There's no part of his brain that can phantom a life where you don't open your eyes again. It was supposed to be a simple hunt, and usually, you get thrown out windows quite frequently, but this one was a two-story window. The doctor had said that you were lucky you crashed into the bushes instead of directly into the ground. You have a few broken bones and a punctured lung. You’re out of the woods now, it’s just waking up.

Dean has been thinking over and over again about what to say to you. The fact is that he's been in love with you ever since you crossed paths a few months ago. He hasn't said anything, of course, because he's Dean Winchester, and he cannot have a normal long-term relationship. However, after this particular situation, he has decided that he cannot hide anymore what he feels for you. You almost died, and he cannot let that happen again without you knowing his true feelings… Though, it would be best not to let it happen altogether. So, there he is, waiting for you to open your eyes, so he can profess his love for you like some sort of teenager in high school. If Sam knew his thoughts, he probably would be laughing at Dean. He cannot condemn himself anymore, though, because when the monitor counting your pulse starts beeping crazily, and he looks up into your eyes, he knows the moment has come.

A/N: Don't forget, you can subscribe to my Patreon for free to get a preview of the newest announcements.

#supernatural #fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #spn #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #spn fanfic #spn x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #winchester brothers #dean winchester fic #dean x reader #dean winchester angst #sad dean winchester

170 notes · View notes

bau-drabbles · 1 year

Text

dancing with your ghost

a/n: enjoy! and apologies if it's ooc for him 💀 it was written in a rush :)

maeve's death affected spencer relationship with you more than realised, he just didn't know the true extent of it until jj points it out

"what are you doing spence? you shouldn't be in here, not like this" jj entered the room, to see him buried in files. his curly hair was tousled, like he'd been running his fingers through it countless times. and judging by the tense lines on his forehead, she guessed it was one of those days. he was distracted, his fists clenched tightly around the folders.

she'd gone to you just moments before, wanting to know what had happened. she could see the pain in your eyes but you didn't want to speak so she didn't force you. and how could you?

the anger practically swallowed you whole, making you see red whenever his name was mentioned. she was your closest confidant in the bau, jj knew spencer was the reason for your pain. and despite you telling her over and over not to confront him, she did so anyway. it had to be done.

however today, the atmosphere was different. spencer was different. so were you.

"she had you, so it's fine. i'll talk to her tomorrow" he hated how selfish he sounded, how cold he was. but those horrible thoughts he tried to keep at bay poisoned his mind, the darkness trickling in through the cracks of his facade.

the fight you both had just hours before killed him more, he needed you. he always did. so why was his feet planted firmly on the ground, refusing to seek you out. why did it feel like there was a knife in his heart, twisting deeper every second he was away from you? why did it feel like his whole world was about to crash down at any given second

he tried to keep himself distracted but all his mind would replay were those haunted pictures of his ex lover. how helpless he was, how completely lifeless her body felt, how he could prevented it all. and it absolutely obliterated him in pieces.

he would wake up in cold sweats, looking to his side where you'd be snoozing away peacefully. and he reminded himself that you were there and safe and sound.

until the next time you wouldn't be.

"come on spencer, doesn't she mean anything to you? don't you love her?" jj's voice was sharp, tired of the eggshells she was walking all around him. she knew she was being unfair but she also knew how it felt to be hurt by him, how it felt to be completely isolated from him.

to her surprise, he whirled around, his lip curled into a sneer. she'd never seen him so agitated before

"love?? how can i trust in love? how could i ever trust in something that could be so present in one moment and so absent the next?" spencer scowled, slamming down the papers he had in his hands.

painting you in a bad light, he thought would make the whole ordeal easier. he could pretend he never loved you but his heart betrayed him. for every beat yearned for you only. every thought that ran through his head was consumed by you. like your soul was in his body, coursing through his veins.

"do you love her?" her voice interjected, coming closer.

"what kind of question is that?" spencer raised a brow to which jj rolled her eyes.

"answer it spencer" she spoke again firmly. he knew there wasn't a way out, she would know if he was lying. he wasn't very good at keeping those for long anyway. he slumped back into his chair, his arms wrapped around him tightly. his sorrow painted so glaringly obvious upon his features, he wondered if he would ever have a happy life.

one where you would be there, one where he didn't need to run from his happiness. one where he didn't need to constantly look back in fear.

perhaps that life simply didn't exist for him

"so much so, it consumes me daily" he whispered the sentence, he never thought he could've ever loved another human so fiercely. so passionately. so much like his old love

"then trust in that. if you can't trust in love, trust in y/n. trust her, trust in her love. go to her and make amends, she needs you as much as you need her, spence. i promise you" jj eagerly spoke, hoping he would spring up and dash out the door. but some things don't happen as they plan.

"these issues are not surface level jj. they run so much more deeper than that. don't you think i want to trust y/n? don't you think i want to give her my all?" the files were on the floor as he stood up, his head in his hands. it felt like to was going to explode with how many thoughts were crammed inside.

"why don't you? take a risk for once in your life spencer"

"i do take risks, calculated ones" he mumbled, his arms wrapped around themselves.

"and what of this?"

"this.... is not calculated. i cannot determine the outcome of it. i'm not in control, my heart is. and i don't think i could bear if it breaks again" finally what jj had been waiting for, the turth finally had revealed itself. but it was more complicated than she realised.

"it's maeve..... isn't it?" jj's voice was softer this time, shocked by his confession. there was no use in hiding it anymore. the dark rings around his eyes, his sunken face, all of it due to the nightmares that kept him awake at all hours of the night. the fear that once he achieved you in his arms, it would be taken just as quickly. he nodded, a sad smile while his eyes began brimming with tears

"i see her every night and every night it ends with her being shot. i could have done something to prevent it, i know i could have. and i'm so scared of that happening to y/n. she's not from our world jj, how could i subject her to a punishment like this?" it feels like he's underwater, his breathing hitched in his throat. his eyes water, biting his lip to stop the trembling. but it wouldn't work, nothing would.

"that wasn't your fault spence, we didn't know she would do that. nobody would" she touched his hand, her baby blues watering at the pain her friend was going through. just when the slightest bit of happiness fell into his lap, it was snatched away before he could've enjoyed it.

"that's just it. i should've known. y/n could enjoy a life where she wouldn't constantly be worried for her life at every turn, she could free. free from the life i could give her, free from me..." the tears dropped like pearls, down his face and onto the desk. with every drop, it cut jj deeper. that she too was helpless in that nothing she could do would remedy his pain and yours.

"spencer..." each cracked word he spoke she felt her heart break further. how you would never know the true extent of his behaviour, how even after all this time, the nightmares continued to plague him. and he didn't tell anybody, not a soul.

"i lost maeve, i can't watch y/n suffer the same fate. she deserves so much more than i could ever give her" his voice is strained, trying his best to keep his composure professional but each thought drove him further and further to insanity

his hands reach out to his wallet where there's a small picture of you. his fingers shakily traced your picture, you were so happy. his mind was trying to engrain the beautiful smile you donned into his mind forever. so that when tomorrow arrived and he'd no longer be there, that thought couldn't hurt him. he'd only remember your smiling face

but it would hurt, of course it would.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader angst #spencer reid x y/n

749 notes · View notes