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dandelionwhisp · 2 years

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Honesty

A Cater Fic (for the dear @jackplushie as well as being inspired by this post from them!! and also huge motivations from various cater fics by @adultish-momma and @forgwater AND MANY OTHERS!!!)

CW?: yelling! swearing! that’s abt it!

MEGA ANGST AND THEN MEGA FLUFF ALERT also OH MY GOEJRNNWHE THIS BOY GAVE ME SUCH A HARD TIME BUT IT WAS PROBABLY BC OF HOW DEEP I WAS TRYING TO DELVE INTO HIS CHARACTER HFHHDHS (though i can def think of more difficult twst characters to write that i will inevitably be writing about sooner or later- COUGH lilia COUGHING VIOLENTLY POMEFIORE) BUT ANYWAY THANKS TO THE FICS OF MANY INDIVIDUALS AND A CERTAIN CATER SIMP, I HAVE GOTTEN A GOOD ENOUGH GRASP (hopefully) TO FINALLY WRITE OUT THIS FIC!!

p.s. this might be slightly out of character but in reality, a person who constantly lies would naturally be ooc when they’ve finally chosen to be honest, right?

without further ado, please, ENJOY!!!!

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“Off.”

“Hm..?” The distracted ginger mumbled, eyes trained on the device in front of him and the soft click of his typing not stilling.

You sighed in frustration. Cater had promised to help out with studying in payment for eating the sweets he bought specifically for his Magicam photos. Even now in front of untouched books, sat an equally untouched piece of chocolate cake he had taken at least thirty different pictures of in the last hour.

“Off. The phone. Now.” Arms crossed, you stared pointedly at him, though his phone and bowed head hid the beautiful green eyes you oh so loved. Not sure if you’d ever tell him that though. You frowned at your thoughts.

He probably wouldn’t even take me seriously.

With the misfortune of falling in love with a man who took nothing seriously, came a lot of self-doubt and regret. Not of loving him, but of yourself and the inability to get any closer to him than you were now.

You tried a lot of things. Bringing in spicy and savory foods to him at lunch behind the excuse of testing out new recipes of which he just happened to cross your mind. He always gave a flirty thanks with the flash of a photo before waving goodbye. For a while, you had invited him along with the other Heartslabyul members to hang out until finally mustering up the courage to ask him out alone, as a friend, of course.

Honestly it was nice, at first. Casual talk and reminiscence of the crazy happenings at home and NRC, you thought you’d finally crossed that untouchable border. But now the distance feels wider than ever before, because it has dawned on you that despite being able to see him every day, everything you know about him (aside from disliking sweets) had already been posted or known by the followers on his account.

It felt like you knew him as well as you’d know the life of any other social media star influencer on Magicam.

But he was good wasn’t he? At hiding behind a screen. Even now, you could barely see his face and he was right. in. front. of. you.

“Cater!” You slammed your hand on the table of neglected textbooks.

“What- What is it?” He finally looked up at you with his pretty green irises, but your built up irritation kept you from flattering him.

He stared at you, absolutely clueless to the inner turmoil you were going through and you felt at important to him as the slice of chocolate cake and astrology books splayed out on the table.

“What in the Great Seven is so damn important that you can’t take your eyes off the phone for even ten minutes to help me study?!”

“Oh... sorry! Haha I guess I got too caught up checking out the current trends again~” He laughed airily which fueled your anger. “Awww why? Was my precious Prefect feeling lonely that I haven’t given you any attention? Don’t worry, Cay-Cay promises to-“

You cut him off. “Yes. In fact I was feeling thoroughly ignored and left out from whatever extremely interesting conversation you were having with that glowing block you call a phone.”

He blinked in surprise and observed your ticked off expression in realization.

Oh. He messed up. Badly.

“Ah....” Scratching the back of his neck, Cater gripped his phone tightly. “I didn’t mean..”

“Just- forget about it. I don’t care.” You were tired. Of everything. If you really didn’t mean anything to him compared to the device in his hand then what was the point in trying at all?

Over and over he’s proven himself to stick to what people say about him. Even as you wanted to and desperately had been trying to reach out to him and were willing to hear everything he could say, even if he didn’t want to tell you, you would’ve just been happy with him telling you he needed time. But he still hasn’t given an inch. Only ignoring all your attempts to reach out. Ignoring your concerns and soft touches of worry. Ignoring you.

Maybe it was time to accept it. It would never be you he’d be staring at. It would never be you he would prioritize. It would never be your hand holding his. It would always be that stupid phone.

“I’m sorry for getting angry. I understand how important maintaining your image is to you so I’ll just go.” You refused to look at him as you stood up and began collecting your books. “I ruined the mood for studying anyway so I’ll.. just ask Trey or Riddle to help me. You can keep.. doing whatever you were doing.”

“Wait-”

As you packed up your things, ignoring his hesitant actions and fumbling words- it suddenly became hard to breathe. Your face felt hot in embarrassment and shame for your outburst and all the times you tried to be better and all the efforts you feel were wasted on being vulnerable around him to try and get to know him more and be someone for Cater to rely on.

I guess you were just too far ahead of yourself. As tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, you reprimanded yourself and swore internally at the foolishness of your weak heart and strong feelings.

Cater, on the other hand, was losing his composure trying to find the right words to say. He obviously made you angry and while haters on the internet were easy to ignore, the wrath of a friend- though perhaps he wishes for you to be more- would be much more difficult to deal with. It would be awkward trying to face you the next day so he had to do something now.

Panicking at your leaving figure, he caught a glimpse of your hurt and teary expression- And froze completely.

Shit.

This is why he put up such a shallow front. Because if he let people in deeper into his life they would start to care. If they cared then they would ask more personal questions about him and his wellbeing. And it was significantly more easier to brush aside harsh criticisms and intimate questions over a screen than in person.

Because when he inevitably pushed people away, when he constantly played on his phone, they wouldn’t feel bad because ‘that’s just how he is.’ Never letting anyone get close enough to see past the light hearted words and silly smile.

He thought he was being so careful! He thought he was doing such a good job! So why, why did you look like that? Why did you seem so broken over something that he was known for? And why did his heart feel so pained at the sight of you?

He reached out to touch your arm, only for you to yank it away hastily.

“Please, don’t.” your voice barely a whisper.

That hurt him. For you to be the one to push him away.

You were always touching him, making him feel warm with your words and maybe he was getting used to it. Your kind attitude and your patience with the way he shrugged you off, but now he realizes that maybe, he’s been taking you and your kindness for granted.

A gentle hand on his arm sent jolts up his spine.

“Hey Cater, you okay..? You seemed a bit sullen back there-”

“Huh? Well if it isn’t the super popular Prefect!

“But Cay-...”

“Try not to touch me like that or else I might mistake it for more~ Unless~ that’s what you wanted me to think? LOL I’m just JK! Thanks for being worried though, you’re making me blush~”

“...Yeah..”

There’s something he had been refusing to admit to himself. Just how much he’s come to treasure you and just how incredibly precious your happiness has become to him. While he may have been doing a good job in pretending otherwise- to you, to others, and to himself- sometimes, when he didn’t realize it and when no one else was looking, he’d glance at the way you ate his sweet treats and he would smile a little wider at your selfies and honest laughter.

The growing hurt in his chest and confused annoyance with himself and with your tearstained cheeks, he blurted something probably more harsh than he intended.

“I don’t understand- Why are you so upset? You- you know I’m like this so is this.. am I really someone to cry over-?”

And where you for so long had wished to press your lips, where you wished you could be allowed to caress, laid a burning red mark as you slapped him across the face.

Cater was left speechless.

“You know, Cater? I’ve realized, you- you really aren’t someone I should have trusted with my heart.” You hated the way your voice cracked in wet, painful anger.

His cheek stung. “What..?” That almost sounded like- No. No that isn’t possible.. that would mean you- could it be..?

He was so stunned he barely registered your next, spiteful words.

“Figure it out yourself. Since you’re so good at reading people.”

Snapping out of his daze, he scrambled towards you, slamming the half opened door before you could reach it. “You can’t just leave me like this! Can’t you give me a chance to do better here!?”

You flinched at the sudden closeness in more ways you were willing to admit. “I’ve been giving you so many chances! I know you’re not stupid Cater! You should know what I’ve been trying to do! That I’ve been trying so hard to get close to you, to understand you!”

“You’re right. I do know.” His mind flashes to the way you brought him all types of food aside from sweets, and how you held out your hand as an invitation to hang out together. He remembers hoping for the hidden meanings behind your flustered face and ever growing smile when you noticed him. He also remembers all the ways he convinced himself otherwise. Suddenly, he truly felt like a stupid, desperate fool. “But I just- I can’t do anything right when it comes to you!”

“Oh so now you’re blaming me?”

“No! You’re completely misunderstanding what I’m trying to- ugh!” He yelled out in frustration.

Why the hell was he the one who was frustrated? You’ve been dealing with this since forever and suddenly you were being the difficult one? “Then what? What the hell are you trying to do aside from pushing me away! All you’ve been doing is lying to me! Not just me- it’s everyone! I don’t even know if you’ve ever been honest to any of us!”

Your whole body was shaking and all your shame had long been replaced with pain and rage. “I thought-” You choked on your tears. “I thought at this point.. I deserved some of your honesty.. Even if only a little bit. Anything- anything except those sugarcoated words of flattery that made my face flush and stomach flutter.. But I get it now- I’m just another person to eat the sweets you’re so sick of. Just- another follower to boost your image.”

“You’re wrong that’s not!-” He tore at his hair in agony as his heart kept breaking. “Like I said, I can’t do anything right when it comes to you because- because, I- because-!” Because what? Because his heart always beats a little louder when you were around? Because of the way your pretty voice made his head swim? Because your smile made him forget all his problems and he was always subconsciously afraid of ruining it like he did now? Because your touch makes him completely helpless and vulnerable in the most wonderfully terrifying ways? And how he wishes he could touch you back without the pretense of a selfie? Because.. Because he-

“What? Because what?” Maybe you were being unfair to him. Maybe you didn’t have the right to act this way. Maybe you were being selfish. But maybe he was too. “See I told you, you only care about that damn phone-”

“Because I love you dammit! If you’d just let me fucking talk then I’d-“ He stopped and clasped his hand over his mouth in horror. He loved you? Where the hell did that come from? That doesn’t even make any-

Oh shit- He cursed again. His eyes widened as more tears streamed down your face, your body wracking with sobs.

“Wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell like that wait- I-”

“Did- did you mean it-?”

“..What?”

“That you...” You took a shaky breath. “..love me?”

“I-”

Now’s your chance Cater! Tell them you didn’t mean it- That it was just an accident- just do what you’ve always done. Lie. They’ve given you a chance to put your mask back on so...

He gazed at you once more. At your trembling figure, at your wet, red, eyes. And for the first time, there was a person he could not read. You, despite your vulnerable state, gave nothing away about what you wanted him to say.

He realizes this isn’t a situation he could weasel out of. Not anymore. So, he decides to do something he can’t remember when he last allowed himself to truly be.

He chose to be honest.

“I...” If you listened closely, then maybe you would’ve been able to hear the sound of a mask shattering and a wildly beating heart. “Yeah.. I guess, I do.”

Your hand made contact with his other cheek. This time he stumbled backwards and looked up at you incredulously with a hand on his face. “What the hell-”

“You’re so fucking stupid Cater Diamond.” You fell on your knees in front of him, hitting your fists against his chest in a mess of hiccups and tears. “But I guess I am too- hic, because I can’t- hic, help but love you anyway.”

After a moment of hesitation, he gently. Gently, dared to hold you against his chest, letting a familiar laugh escape his lips. But this time, there was nothing he needed to hide. “You just said I wasn’t stupid earlier, cmon now I’m getting mixed signals here! Haha~”

“You’re the last person I want to hear complaining about mixed signals.” You sniffled in response, landing one last hard smack against him.

“Ow- That was hit number thirty you know? And my face still hurts from what you did eariler- You really pack a punch dont’cha Prefect?”

Rolling your eyes at his sudden lighthearted banter after a particularly grueling and emotionally exhausting confrontation, you buried your face into his chest, letting your residual tears stain his pristine dorm uniform.

“You deserve it you know.”

“Mmm I guess I did~”

“Stop acting like you enjoyed it!”

His body shook with laughter. “Oh~ Of course I enjoyed it! It’s you who’s touching me after all! I never thought I’d get to feel such an intimate connection with y-”

Once again, you cut him off.

This time however, physically.

Cater Diamond hates sweets. He came to realize that at a young age. They make him sick to his stomach and remind him of his force feeding sisters and rotten cavities.

Cater Diamond loves you. He came to realize that a few minutes ago. Maybe longer than that. Definitely longer. You make his stomach flutter and remind him of a warm savory meal and spicy kicks of pleasure on his tongue.

He might become drunk on your taste and the feeling of your lips against his. It’s hot. It’s rich. It’s salty. It’s sweet. But somehow, it doesn’t make him feel sick. Perhaps he loves you more than he hates sweets.

That is the realization Cater Diamond has come to in the present, as his hands pull you in for better access, not unlike, yet completely different from all those times he dragged you into taking a picture with him.

“Enjoy that instead, stupid.” Breathlessly, you leaned back, tilting your head in surprise at the way his eyes glowed in the way you once dreamed it could.

His face scrunched into an expression that would definitely not be considered picturesque, showing you exactly how he felt about the loss of contact, like you had always wanted.

“I wish I had my phone to take a picture of that face you just made.”

“Nooo don’t expose me~” He pouted while tugging on your shirt, silently asking for another kiss.

“Hmmm? What is it Cater? What do you need? Be honest now~” A surge of confidence erupted in you while taking in his disheveled figure. His messy orange locks fell along his face with no tie to secure it, and a smudged red diamond melted into the pink marks left behind by your brutal attacks. While he did deserve it, it didn’t help you from feeling a bit guilty.

Whining, Cater pressed his forehead against yours, allowing a perfect close up of those gorgeous green eyes of his.

“I wanna kiss..~”

“I didn’t know honest Cater was so loud and whiny~!”

“You asked for this!” He whined louder.

“Mmm I did didn’t I...” Your eyes became lidded with months of longing as you finally let yourself cup his flushed cheeks. “For the record.. I like it when you yell.. and when you whine.. and when you speak in weird text language.. and when you cry and laugh and act stupid and when you read the room perfectly. I like everything about you. But I love my Cater most, when he is honest with me.”

He shuddered against you as he fell deeper in love with your words and your actions and you, and made a promise to himself, and to you, that he would love. Love wildly, openly, and honestly, from the bottom of his heart. Because you made the promise to love him for all the he was, is, and will be. As long as he was willing to show it all to you.

He chose to let his eyes that you gazed at so lovingly, paired with a soft and broken “thank you.” tell you the promise he kept locked within his heart.

Where you both met, once more in a place so deliciously soft, sweet, savory and sincere, you knew it marked the beginning of a lot more tears and a lot more change and a whole lot more love.

And honestly? You had always known,

He would be worth every second of it.

#ITS FINALLY DONE #i pray that ive done him justice!!#thank you for all the encouragement and support from everyone!!#mwah mwah i hope it was an enjoyable read ily all SM #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #disney twst #twisted wonderland imagines #twst writing #cater diamond #cater x yuu #cater x reader #twst cater #cater x mc

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skyward-floored · 2 years

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Ooooh, Botw dark link au?

Okay there’s a post or two explaining this somewhere but I cannot for the life of me find either of them so I’ll explain it... again...

I had this thought a while ago, before courage of ages had plot actually so I sort of stole some of the plot from this for that XD but I think it’s still separate enough that it would be enjoyable. I also started thinking of this before botw2 was announced, so that’s why it’s an au. It was just going to be botw aftermath at first.

Anyways basic gist is that the Yiga are mad that Link stole back the thunderhelm, they’re rage-filled at how Link defeated their master, they’re livid at how he defeated their glorious master Ganon, so they wonder how on earth they can ever stop this kid if even Calamity Ganon himself couldn’t?!

Then someone has the brilliant idea, ‘who’s the only one powerful enough to defeat the hero? Himself!’

There’s old legends of the hero having to fight a dark copy of himself, so the yiga figure they can just steal some of Link’s blood and mix it with some old malice they’ve got and make their own, easy-peasy.

So they injure him and get some blood, book it back to the desert and it’s going great! It would have been perfect in fact, except that when they start their ritual thing to make a nice shadow it makes Link’s injury hurt rather drastically. And Zelda’s with him,and ends up checking on his wound, and her mostly-dormant goddess power sort of gets mixed up in their ritual thing.

So, instead of a blood-thirsty Link-killer, the yiga find themselves with a near identical copy of Link, who’s closer to how he was when he first came out of the shrine of resurrection then any sort of warrior.

They decide the whole experiment was a waste, dump the clone and leave him for dead and decide to regroup. Link of course ends up finding him, and him and Zelda maybe accidentally adopt him because even though he technically has all of Link’s fighting capabilities, he’s got no experience or anything and is rather innocent and sweet.

So yeah, that’s it :) there’s stuff with goddess power and malice making Cloney a little unstable too, but that’s plot I haven’t even remotely gotten to yet.

I’ll put a little bit of what I’ve got so far under the cut too

Link set down the soup on the bedside table, and with Zelda’s help helped adjust his copy into a sitting position. The teenager grunted a little when they lifted him up, and his face twisted in pain when Zelda accidentally nudged his wound, but he still stayed silent, still watching his two caretakers interestedly.

Zelda began to unwrap the bandages on his torso, and Link handed him the soup, which he seemed fascinated by.

“So what’s your name?” asked Zelda, and Link’s double stopped poking his soup and gave her a confused look.

“...na..me?”

His voice was weak and raspy, but sounded almost exactly the same as Link’s except for that. Zelda and her hero gave each other a look. It was the first word he’d spoken since Link had found him.

“Yes, a name,” Zelda continued, thrilled at the fact he was speaking to them now. He looked confused by the word, and mouthed it once or twice to himself.

“It’s what people call you,” Link explained, “like my name is Link, and hers is Zelda.”

“Oh, name.” said the double, understanding on his face as he sipped his soup.

“Yes, that’s right.” said Zelda. “So what’s yours? What do people call you?”

Link’s double took a sip of soup, swallowing a large mouthful before answering.

“Waste.”

#he ends up with the name Dusk in the end #and the only physical differences between him and Link are black hair and red eyes #wip #breath of the wild #long post #answers from the floor #telemna hyelle my beloved #save #I am NOT losing this explanation again

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starrynite7114 · 3 years

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always you (angel reyes)

A/N: Good morning everyone! I know I haven’t posted in a while, and you all know why. Thank you all again for being very understanding, it was a rough couple of weeks, and I’m trying to push through the best I can. This story was supposed to be a one shot for a prompt request I received some time ago, but I’m glad I’m able to finally fulfill it. I wrote out most of it already so it should be posted every 2-3 days. I’m also finishing up Roommates this week, at least trying to!

Hope you all have been having a good week thus far! Hopefully it is also warming up! Exams have been killing me, but my last one is later today, so yay!

The new Mayans trailer looked amazing! Definitely getting the creative juices flowing, even for EZ.

Anyways, thank you all again, you are all the utter best!

Special shoutout: To @blackmissfrizzle, you fucking crazy, violent person, my second brain. Because of you, I got a Tiktok guy on here. But thank you for listening to my crazy ideas about this story, a story that was supposed to be a one-shot turned into a series cause of all of those videos, love you though. And to @angelreyesgirl you’re the one who helped me figure out as to why certain things happen in the story, thank you, I just, I love you, you already know this, no more sappiness from me today, maybe. Also, happy birthday!

Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! My tag list is a little messy, but please let me know if you want to be added!

Masterlist

Word count: 8657

Warnings: Mentions of stalker behavior, angst, smut

169: “ What a pretty sight. ”

187: “ Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ”

You sighed, the knocks on the door following the call you just received from Coco made you want to pull your hair out. This has been ongoing since you two broke up two years ago. It was routine at this point and you were slightly getting tired of it. He chose to let you go and here you were opening your door so Angel could spend the night after a drunken stupor.

“Sorry again hermana, you know I try to bring his big ass home, but you know how stubborn he is.” Coco assisted Angel inside your apartment with Gilly helping him out.

They assisted Angel down to your couch, he was barely conscious. He had this obnoxious smile on his face as he settled on your couch.

“Where’s my girl?” Angel called out as he grabbed a pillow, resting his head.

Gilly looked up at you and you shook your head. “She’s asleep bro, just go sleep.”

“Okay, I’ll go to her.” Angel attempted to stand up, but Gilly held him down.

“Hey, remember, you don’t like bothering her when she’s asleep.” Gilly reminded Angel.

“You’re right, I just want to tell her I love her.” Angel laid back down, his eyes closing.

Before long, Angel’s soft snores indicated to you all he was asleep. Coco looked at you as you looked at Angel, confused as always as to why he had to come to you whenever he was drunk. They’ve tried asking him, both Coco and Gilly, and whenever you saw him in the morning, you just gave him coffee and chose not to talk to him. He tried to make small talk with you, but you didn’t entertain it.

Angel chose to break up with you two years ago, your year and a half relationship down the drain. You didn’t fight him when he ended your relationship. You accepted it and attempted to move on.

Problem was, Angel didn’t let you go. His presence was still felt even though you didn’t see him. Then three months after your breakup, the drunken visits came. At times, he would talk to you when he would come drunk, but you chose to ignore it and just took care of him.

You wanted to turn him away, but you love Angel. It was hard not to do so. Whenever you would think you had the courage to turn him away, you would let him back in your bed just so you could hold him. It was unfair to you, you wanted to move on, yet, when you had the chance to hold him, you never passed it up. You were addicted and you would break the habit eventually, but Angel was just, well, he was Angel.

“Y/N, we can take him home if you want.” Coco hated doing this to you. He was there from the beginning and he didn’t want to keep dragging you back in Angel’s life. He knew how hard you were trying to move on, but it seemed like Angel held on.

“No, it’s okay Coco, just let him sleep.” You pushed your glasses up the bridge of your nose, sighing as you draped a throw blanket over Angel.

“We can stay if you want.” Gilly offered. Much like Coco, he felt for you. You were a sweet girl, always nice to the boys and never made a fuss when Angel chose to break dates to hang out with them. For him, you were the ideal girl, you were reasonable, beautiful, and a hell of a cook. When Angel broke up with you, they planned to keep in touch, bug you every once in a while for dinner. But then they realized, Angel had no plans of letting you go either.

You chuckled and shook your head. “It’s fine, I’m sure you guys want a break from this guy.”

“We do, we really do.” Gilly agreed. “But we want to be here for you too, why did we bring him here man?”

“You gonna try to argue with Angel? He’s fucking unreasonable when he’s sober, it’s another thing when Don Quixote over here is drunk.” Coco shook his head. “If you need anything, just call me.”

“Call us.”

You nodded your head. You gave the two Mayans a hug before closing the door behind them. When you turned back, you gasped when you found Angel standing.

“Let’s go sleep?” His eyes were opening and closing and he was slightly swaying. You took one of his arms and led him to your room.

This was how it always ended. Regardless if you put Angel in your guest bedroom or the couch, he always ended in your bed.

You assisted him on your bed, going back to close your door. Angel took off his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. “I love you.”

Your heart clenched hearing him say that. He always told you he loves you. Without a fail, he always did, when he was visiting you intoxicated. Yet, you never felt it, especially with the way things ended. And he never said it when you were together. You did, and that’s when things went downhill for you two. Holding on to the doorknob, you tried to stop the tears from coming. Angel was watching you, waiting for you to come join him on your bed. He just wanted to hold you.

“You coming?”

You nodded your head and went to your side of the bed as Angel scooted up to his. Moving the blanket, you two settled under the blanket and Angel pulled you flush against him. He caressed your face, before leaving a kiss on your forehead.

Looking up at him, he was looking down at you, he was caressing your face again.

“What a pretty sight.” He sighed.

Your head rested on his chest and you eventually heard his breathing even out. You’re not sure how much more you could take of this.

You had to move on.

It was time.

The next morning, you hoped it’s one of the days that Angel left while you were asleep. And he did, which you were thankful for. It was always awkward when Angel was still here when you woke up. Rolling over to the side, you sat up, slipping your glasses back on. Yawning, you checked your phone and had a few messages from Coco and Gilly, one from EZ.

Choosing to reply later, you placed your phone back on your dresser and stood up. Stretching as you let out a yawn, you walked out of your room and froze when you heard movement in your kitchen. Rushing back in your room to get the bat you had for protection, you made your way back towards the kitchen, peaking in and found Angel. You contemplated pretending to go back to sleep, but Angel’s voice stopped you.

“Don’t even think about pretending to go back to sleep, I made you breakfast and you have work in an hour and a half.” Angel called out.

You sighed. Placing your bat at its spot in your room, you go to the kitchen and found Angel making a plate. He handed you the plate and you murmured a thank you. Sitting at the dining table, you made sure to sit on the other side since the two chairs beside you were full of presents you have yet to wrap for Christmas. You still had time, but your dining table was basically full.

Angel smirked when he saw where you were situated. You acted as if he wasn’t with you for four years. He placed his plate down at the other end of the table. Moving your stuff to your coffee table, you opened your mouth to protest, but Angel already placed the presents down.

“You don’t have to move them, there’s plenty of room.” You protested.

“Away from you, yes. But I want to sit next to you.” Angel moved his plate and sat beside you. He shot you a smile before picking up his fork. “Come on, eat up.”

“Angel, this really isn’t necessary. I can just grab something on my way to work.” You didn’t like spending time with Angel, especially in this way since it still struck a chord with you. The familiarity of it was a painful memory of what was let go two years ago.

“It would be rude for you to not eat after I made your favorite.” Angel knew you couldn’t resist a good omelette filled with spinach, bacon, sausage and cheese. “Please, let me do this for you, you did me a solid, again.”

Picking up your fork, you began eating. Letting the silence enveloped between you two. This was better. You didn’t want to talk to Angel. You didn’t want any thank you’s or apologies, you just wanted him to go so you could pretend that the other didn’t exist again.

Angel watched as you ate, keeping your eyes on your food. He hated how he did this to you, how you couldn’t even look at him. Every time he became highly intoxicated, Angel refused to go anywhere but your place, since it’s when he needed you most. Angel hardly drank himself to a stupor, but when he did, he was mostly troubled and was trying to forget the issues that were weighing heavily on him. Even though it’s been two years, you were one of those issues. He saw you around town often and it hurt him whenever he did. You were so close yet so far away. He knew that Coco and Gilly hang out with you every once in a while. Every day, it was a struggle for him to not see you, talk to you, hold you and be with you.

So he came up with this ridiculous plan after you accepted him into your home one night after he got drunk.

Whenever missing you became too unbearable, he got wasted and refused to go anywhere but your place. He was always aware enough to know he would be brought to you. And once he was with you, you would take care of him. He felt somewhat bad, but he didn’t know how else to approach you.

“Are you busy tonight?” Angel broke the silence between you two.

“What?” You had to make sure you heard him correctly. Looking over at Angel, he was waiting for you to reply. “I have a dinner thing.” A lie, and you were almost sure Angel could see right through it, but you didn’t want to think that. You could pull this off.

“A dinner thing?” Angel raised an eyebrow, amused by your choice of words. “Sounds like a fake thing.”

“Doesn’t matter to me if you believe me or not, I have plans.” You had finished your food. Picking up your plate, you placed it in the sink and turned to face Angel who was still sitting down. “Don’t worry about the dishes, I can do them. Also, I’m not really sure why you always decide to keep coming to my place when you get drunk, but I would really appreciate it if you didn’t come here anymore.” Your best friend, Marie had advised you to create boundaries, to tell Angel that you no longer want him coming over whenever he was intoxicated.

That it was time for you both to stay away from one another like you intended to do so when he broke up with you.

“Querida.” Angel stood up, but you shook your head, holding your hand up.

“You wanted to break up, we’re done Angel. As much as I want to be there for you, I can’t keep doing this and hurting myself. You chose to let me go, so go.” You left the kitchen and entered your room, locking the door.

Angel watched as you walked away, telling himself to run after you, but he couldn’t. He’ll let you walk away for now, but after you put such a decisive end to this whole thing, he couldn’t just let go. It may be selfish, but living without you for the past two years further opened his eyes.

He wanted to be with you and just you.

It’s always been you.

=================

A month without any incident with Angel. You're glad he has finally decided to leave you alone. Coco had texted you a few times expressing that he was proud of you about putting your foot down with Angel. EZ has been frequenting the library more as of late, and he’s either had Marie with him, his girlfriend, or he came by himself.

A new year and new decade ushered in a new era for you.

You caught EZ coming in, a smile appearing on your face.

“We got that book you’ve been waiting for, I saved you the copy since it was the only copy we got.” You grabbed the book and handed it over to him.

“Thanks Y/N.” He looked around. “Um, did Coco come? Or any other Mayan?”

“No,” you gave him a confused look. “You’re the only Mayan that comes during business hours. The others usually come when the library is closed waiting for me to make sure I made it home safely when I was still dating Angel.”

EZ opened his mouth to apologize but you held your hand up.

“Ezekiel, I’m not fragile, it’s fine to mention your brother.” You laughed lightheartedly to lighten the mood. You knew EZ tried his best not to mention his older brother. “So you and Marie are getting serious?”

“Something like that,” the sheepish smile on Ezekiel’s face made you want to pinch his cheeks. “Just put a good word for me.”

“A good word? My best friend hates hanging out at the library with me, yet, she comes here to what? Watch you read?” You loved teasing Ezekiel. You were glad when he got out of prison, the way everything turned out for him, it was awful but you were grateful he was getting another chance at life. “You should at least take her out on a date.”

“Look, don’t judge me, I just got out of prison.”

“It’s been two years.”

“Alright, fine, Marie is just intimidating. One day she seems impressed with me, the next she’s not into it.”

“I think you’re reading too much into the situation. You two have been talking for four months now and you still haven’t asked her out. Marie is simple, start with the movies.” You suggested.

“That’s fucking lame though.”

“Okay Netflix.”

“How about the fair? You and Angel can be like our chaperone.” EZ was trying to help Angel, soften you up some, but you were pretty good at blocking EZ’s charm.

You looked at EZ for a moment, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Nice try.”

EZ smiled and took the book to his usual corner at the library. You knew your best friend would be bursting through the door in the next thirty minutes. Marie and EZ have been playing the flirting game for the last year and have been officially talking for the last four months. It was cute and you were happy that Marie found EZ and vice versa.

You got on the computer, trying to organize the library website like you promised your boss that you would do. The door opened and you expected the usual coffee Marie brought you.

“I feel like I should start requesting for a pastry since you two use my library as your hangout spot.” You teased. “I’m glad you’re here, coffee will help me through the rest of my shift.”

“I didn’t bring coffee querida, but I can run and get you some.”

You froze. That wasn’t Marie’s voice. Looking up, you found Angel with his staple kutte on his back along with a navy blue button up. His body has changed over the last two years, his muscles were more prominent. You weren’t blind, you could appreciate Angel taking care of his body.

“Can I help you?” The professional tone killed Angel, but he was determined to break through that.

“Came to check out a book, maybe you can help me?” Angel leaned against the countertop of the kiosk desk. His scent hit you and it made you want to smack him. How dare this man? You wanted to move on, and you’ve been doing so well.

“I didn’t know you could read.”

“You know that’s a lie, I used to read to you while I fucked you.”

“Angel.” You hissed out his name, not wanting to yell.

Angel chuckled at your reaction. “Is it not true?”

“Listen, loitering is not allowed here.”

“That’s literally what everyone does around here.” Angel looked over at EZ and he shot his baby brother a smirk. “Well, I was looking for Stanford, I’ll be seeing you.”

You chose not to reply, saying ‘yeah right’ in your head. Marie walked in coffee and a box of Krispy Kreme in hand. The sigh of relief you let out was definitely noticed by her and her eyes immediately roamed the library to see if your creepy admirer was around, but instead she found EZ and Angel.

“Never pegged Angel as a library type of guy.” She placed your drink on the countertop.

“He actually loves poetry, he really likes the European writers, British novels mostly Pride and Prejudice, Frankenstein, Jane Eyre, Shakespeare.” You mouthed off Angel’s interest which never surprised Marie. When you love someone, you made it a mission to know that person, so you would know their ins and outs. You become invested in any relationship you forge since you rarely make friends as it was. It wasn’t about quantity, it was all about quality for you. A hard lesson you learned over the years. “He’s a big fan of Scarlet Letter and Invisible Man. But he really likes poetry from all generations, when we were still together, I got him a few poetry books from a few authors he liked.” You paused, realizing the tangent you went on. It wasn’t uncommon whenever you spoke about Angel.

Marie enjoyed it because she got to learn about her old obnoxious neighbor that never deserved her best friend. You met Angel through Marie and in some ways, she regretted letting it happen, but when she saw how happy you were, how could she be so opposed? Even with knowing Angel’s history, she had faith. But then Angel decided that the single life was more of a life for him, something you never knew about. You never wanted to know about it and she didn’t push you.

“It’s okay, I love your tangents, even if they’re about that asshat.” Marie rolled her eyes. “So, have you given any thought of going on a date with Tyler?”

“You mean your co-worker you always refer to as a man slut?”

“Bitch, we’re trying to get the pussy wet, not a serious relationship.”

“That’s a no.”

You and Marie jumped, not expecting to hear Angel’s voice.

“Where did you even come from?”

“You setting her up?” Angel ignored Marie’s question. He was going to bug you for the name of that author you always raved about when you two were together, but he became intrigued when he caught the tail end of your tangent about his interests. It was endearing for him to hear that you still knew so much about him, but his mood soured when he heard Marie trying to set you up. “Tyler, the douche that always gets drunk out of his mind at the clubhouse?”

“Again, just trying to get her dry spell to end.”

“I volunteer.” Angel smirked.

“Not interested.” You replied as you turned to face Angel. “We talked about this, please, just respect my wishes. I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Hate to break it to you querida, the library is public property, unless I’m disrupting the peace, I have every right to be here as much as you do.” Angel placed his chin on his hand, smiling sweetly at you.

You grabbed the coffee and the box of donuts. “I’m going to take my break.”

Your co-worker, Sienna took over the kiosk desk, Marie making her way over to Marie. She knew you needed some alone time. As she passed Angel, she patted his back.

“Give her space, don’t push it.”

Angel wasted enough time. He knew you. It’s not that you didn’t want to be around him, you were just protecting your heart. He gave you five minutes before he followed after you, finding the trunk of your Toyota RAV4 opened. Walking over to you, he opened his mouth to speak, you beat him to it.

“Eugene, please, I’m on my break, I would appreciate it if you didn’t follow me.” Your day was starting to become shit since seeing Angel helped you realize that you weren’t over him. It’s been two years but due to his drunken escapades, it was hard for you to move on.

“Who the fuck is Eugene?”

“No one.” You didn’t want to tell Angel about Eugene. It’s not like he would care, but you haven’t exactly told Angel about how your kindness to Eugene went from endearing to him becoming obsessive. “Can I help you?”

“I was going to take a smoke break then I saw your trunk open.” Angel shrugged, taking note of the name Eugene so he could ask Marie later. “Can I join you?”

“No, I’m done.” You closed the box of donut, picking up your drink as you stood up.

“Come on, throw me a bone here. Can you give me a chance to explain?”

“Explain what exactly? Why you broke up with me? Why you kept me in your back pocket by being your go to house when you're drunk?”

“You gonna let me explain or are you gonna continue interrupting me?”

“I don’t care what you do, just please stay away from me. You’ve made your stance very clear two years ago. I don’t care why you came to me while you’re drunk, but it doesn’t matter. Don’t come to my job, don’t come to my apartment, just please stay away from me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Angel frowned. He didn’t expect things to go like this. Maybe he was an asshole or an idiot, but he expected you to welcome him with open arms.

“I do, I want to move on, build new relationships and be happy. I didn’t break your heart, I didn’t hurt you, if you don’t love me that’s fine. If you feel bad for what happened, you’re good, you’re forgiven.” You pressed the button that automatically closed your car. “I’m suffocating right? I’m too nice right? Then leave me alone.”

“You really just gonna walk away?”

You were about to answer Angel when you heard a familiar voice call out your name. Looking to where you heard the voice, you saw Jay, your ex-boyfriend. Angel cussed under his breath when he saw him. Jay was a sore subject for Angel. You two rarely spoke about Jay and it was mostly due to the fact that Angel never brought him up. When you did bring up Jay, it was a rare occurrence. It’s not that Angel didn’t care about your ex-boyfriend, in fact, he cared too much. Too many times he’s heard people spoke about how epic you and Jay were together. The perfect couple that would have stayed together if you decided to go with Jay to Germany.

“Jay?” You hopped out of your trunk and was in disbelief. Jay, from what you knew, was still in Berlin, and wouldn’t be back for another three years. You kept in touch with him since you had a quite amicable break-up.

You two had dated for eight years before you two eventually parted ways. High school sweethearts, intended to last forever, but forever wasn’t a thing. You two broke up amicably and remained friends. It was hard not to be friends with a person you spent eight years of your life with.

It was your ex-boyfriend.

He couldn’t forget his name, he knew everything about the fucking guy. The first love, the one you would always love, that was the cliche, right? He remembered that he briefly met Jay before he left for Berlin once again. He was bringing you home after a catch up dinner with other friends and he saw just how your smile shone brightly around him. Jay was looking down at you, returning your smile as you animatedly spoke to him about something. You turned to face Angel and what he missed was how your smile changed, it was that smile specifically for your Angel. You had made your way towards him, wrapping your arms around him. Jay first met Angel then and much to your surprise, Jay took a liking to Angel, especially since he was a big fan of his Harley. Angel didn’t show much interest towards Jay, but you knew it bugged your then boyfriend how close you were to Jay.

Angel was not friends with any of his exes, but he also wasn’t with them for a long amount of time. If anything, you were his longest relationship. And seeing you react the way you did with Jay, he regretted it further that he let you go.

“Eugene is still coming here? You told me you handled that.” Jay was annoyed, you told him that you handled your too friendly library consumer. Jay stood at 6’4, 210 pounds, the Marines shaped him well.

You looked at Angel and Jay did as well.

“If you’re going to bother her when you’re drunk, you should at least get rid of her stalker.” Jay didn’t have a problem with Angel, but he knew Angel had a problem with him. He could see it when they first met. He couldn’t blame him, he rarely knew of exes that were friends, but Jay couldn’t exactly let you go.

You two grew up together, you knew him best.

“Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?” You saw how quickly Angel’s face turned sour and you knew you could have a fight in your hands.

“Aright, let’s not do anything crazy.” You got in between them, with you facing Angel. “We’re done.”

You locked your car before making your way inside the library once again, dragging Jay with you, and leaving Angel to his own devices. The broken look on your face, he wanted to take that away, especially since he caused it. He loves you, he really did, he was just an idiot.

The fact that Jay was seemingly back in town, Angel had to make a move.

And you should know better, Angel was anything but a quitter.

=================

Angel walked in the library and found you talking to one of your co-workers. He saw her nudge you and your eyes met. Quickly you looked away, shushing your co-worker. Angel took his usual spot opening the book he had borrowed earlier in the week. You weren’t surprised Angel burned through books, people counted him out due to his affiliates, but you knew better than to judge a book by its cover.

Jay hasn’t been back since he saw him two weeks prior. Angel frequented the library and never saw a sign of him.

“You look beautiful Y/N.” Eugene, a regular at the library, complimented you. What started off as you being kind, feeling bad for a man who appeared to be a loner, was starting to make you feel uneasy. For the last three years, he progressively became bolder and you could tell that he was getting to the point where aggressive behavior was going to come out. Regardless of how nice you were, you always made sure he knew that you two were friends.

“Thank you Eugene.” You faked this small smile on your lips, but you didn’t want to provoke him. Sienna stayed beside you, she was more straightforward and had no problem telling Eugene to fuck off.

“Have you thought of my invitation for dinner tonight? My mother would love to meet you? I speak about you often with her.” The uneasiness at the pit of your stomach was unexplainable and Angel noticed the change on your face.

Sienna looked at you, her eyes slightly widening. She’s had enough of Eugene. It was small talk at first, but as of late, the man was beginning to be more bold. Starting with grabbing a drink or coffee, it evolved to having dinner at his place. You never entertained the idea and always let him down, but he wasn’t understanding.

“I’m sorry Eugene, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” You saw how his face slightly scrunched up, his voice slightly raising. A few of the library patrons looked over before going back to their book. “Stop being such a tease and just go to my place.”

Both you and Sienna were appalled by his suggestion. You never teased him.

“Excuse me? I’ve never done such a thing.”

“Oh please, with the skirts and dresses you wear, how do you expect anyone to not be teased by your clothing. Mother is right, you’re a slut, but no mind, I can repent you.”

Angel heard enough. You saw him from the corner of your eye.

“Call security, I’ll handle Angel.” You walked out of the kiosk and intercepted Angel.

“Let go of me, he’s not going to get away speaking to you like that.” The restrained tone in Angel’s voice made you nervous for Eugene.

“Please, Angel.” The way you whispered his name with a plea, it made Angel sigh deeply, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he looked up at the ceiling.

“Make sure he’s gone when we get back.” He instructed Sienna. You led him to the restricted area of the library which was situated at the back. Older books or original versions of books were kept here, with only employees having access and at times guests who were accompanied by employees.

When you two were all the way at the back of the restricted area, you leaned against one of the bookshelves as Angel paced back and forth in front of you.

“How long has he been harassing you?” Angel questioned, continuing his pace.

“Angel.”

“How. Long.” He let out through gritted teeth. There was no argument. He let you take him away, you owed him this.

You didn’t want to tell Angel, it didn’t matter anyway. All you knew was that you had to take care of this, he was making your anxiety spike up. “Three years.”

“Three years?!” Angel’s voice echoed throughout the library.

“Angel.” You hissed, keeping your voice low.

“Are you fucking kidding me? And you never told me?” Angel didn’t heed your warning. He was livid. How could you not tell him, especially while you two were together?

“Eugene is harmless.” He shot you a look and you sighed. “He was harmless.” You amended your statement. “Angel, please, it’s okay.”

“No the fuck is not, the way he spoke to you?” Angel felt his temper rise again. Fuck security, he would beat the idea in to Eugene that he was to never breathe the same air as you again. “Wait, Jay knew? And you didn’t tell me?”

You cussed under your breath. You accidentally told Jay about Eugene. He was FaceTiming you when Eugene came in after hours. You were able to shoo him away since Jay was on the phone. You never even thought of telling Angel, you didn’t want Angel to make a big deal out of it and you honestly thought you were reading too much into it.

“I,” you sighed. “It wasn’t on purpose. Jay was FaceTiming me when Eugene walked in after hours.”

“Did you have him pretend to be your boyfriend?” Angel knew he was being unreasonable, but it irked him that your ex-boyfriend knew about your stalker and he didn’t. He was the one who was in Santo Padre. He was the one who could deal with it.

“No, Angel, it was years ago.”

“My fucking point exactly, it’s been years and you never told me. I was your boyfriend then, not him. How could you not tell me?”

“I don’t know, it was harmless, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing.”

“Out of nothing?” Angel exclaimed, shaking his head at your ridiculousness. “We’re gonna fucking talk after this, this should have never been an issue.”

Before he could leave, you blocked his way.

“Move.”

You shook your head.

“Don’t act like I can’t just lift you out of the way.”

You weren’t exactly the lightest, and hardly looked like any of Angel’s previous girlfriends. You had meat on your bones and some people may poke fun at your weight, but Angel always made you feel like a queen. He loved your curves, kissed and worshipped every part of your body. Well until he broke up with you.

“Angel, please, just stay with me.” You wrapped your arms around him and he wrapped his arms around you.

“No, he’ll never learn his lesson unless,”

You cut Angel off by bringing his lips down to yours. Whenever Angel became irritated or upset, small touches or kisses from you would always calm his anger. You took a chance knowing Angel doesn’t exactly want you anymore, so you’re not sure what this would do for the situation, but you had to try. Angel immediately responded to your kiss, his hands cupping your face. One of his hands slid down to your neck, slightly moving you so you were against the bookshelves. His hand moved down, brushing against your breast causing you to moan. Angel’s tongue slipped in, deepening your kiss. He pressed you against the shelf, pulling away and pressing his forehead against yours. The anger that had overtook his body was gone, and was now replaced for a burning desire for you.

“You still taste so good.” Angel kissed you again, your back arching so your front was pressed against his front. One of his hands was sliding under your skirt, causing you to pull away.

“No Angel.” You shook your head, moving away from him to fix yourself.

Angel groaned, his dick was hard and he was at a library with no means of relieving it. He thought of anything that could help his erection to go away, his third grade teacher who was horrific to him did the trick. Turning to face you, he found you looking around before you took his hand and led him further down the restricted area of the Santo Padre library. It was an old library, built by the Spaniards when they were doing their missions along California. Bringing him to the last row where you knew there was an entrance to the inventory the library had for the restricted section. You knew no one ever went in there till closing. You didn’t want Angel to do anything to you, but you could definitely help alleviate some of his anger.

“Querida, where the fuck are we?” Angel looked around and the shelves were against the walls, a few shelves were in the middle of the room, otherwise, there were books everywhere. You led him to a desk that Sienna used to organize the unlabeled books. You pushed Angel down onto the office chair. He watched as you sunk to your knees, your eyes focused on unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. “Hey, you don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I want to.” You lifted your eyes to meet his and the softness in his eyes was such a stark contrast from earlier where they were dark, anger obviously apparent. Now, it was adoration and lust that clouded his iris. You tugged on his jeans, which Angel assisted you with, lifting himself up so you could pull down his jeans and boxers. Smirking, you wrapped your hand around his semi-hard cock, using some of his pre-cum to help your hand glide down with ease. Angel groaned, leaning his head back. It was his weakness, watching your beautiful lips around his cock, trying to take in as much of his cock, he was a goner whenever you did that. The way your eyes would water, your cheeks hallowed, your mouth full of him, the image alone could make him cum. But he always held back, letting himself enjoy you.

“Fuck, look at you mi sol,” he watched as you spat down on his cock, holding his thick member with one hand. Placing a kiss on the tip of his cock, you looked up at Angel as you opened your mouth to take him in. Just as he taught you, you took Angel until you could not take any of him anymore, moving your head back up, his cock sheath with your saliva. You took him in your mouth once more, Angel gathering your hair in one hand. He loved your eyes on him. Those hooded eyes under those thick black rimmed glasses of yours. You move your mouth up and down his cock, hollowing your cheeks and swallowing around him whenever his tip reaches your gag reflex. You let go of him with a pop, your hand replacing your mouth. “That’s right baby, take your dick and let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours.” Angel tried not to lose himself with you, but any part of you that was connected always felt so good for him. He didn’t know what it was but everything he did with you was a hundred times more intense when compared to others.

Placing two hands on his cock, you had your mouth on the tip of his cock, running your tongue over and over again over Angel’s sensitive cock. He moaned out your name, gripping your hair tighter. You were licking his cock like it was a tootsie roll lollipop and you were trying to get to the center. You moved so that your tongue was moving up and down his shaft, getting to the top and engulfing his tip with your mouth. Angel groaned, throwing his head back, licking his lips as you continued to bob your head up and down. His hand assisted you, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, swallowing around it.

“Holy fuck princesa, keep going I’m about to cum.” Angel moaned. “You want me to cum in your mouth baby? You gonna swallow daddy’s cum?”

You chose not to answer and continued your ministrations. Just as you felt Angel’s cock pulsing in your mouth, you pulled away, placing a kiss on his cock. Angel slammed his hand on the desk, grabbing your hair.

“You really want to play with daddy?” His face was so close to you, your hand still around his cock. You tightened your hold, moving your hand up and down causing Angel to close his eyes. He moaned out your name, further dampening your panties. “Put your mouth back on my cock so I can fuck that pretty little mouth of yours.”

You followed Angel’s instructions, taking him back in your mouth. Angel began to thrust up in your mouth, tears forming in your eyes as he moved in and out of your mouth. Your hands rested on Angel’s thighs, your nails digging into his skin. He chanted your name before he came in your mouth, holding your head against him. You swallowed some of his cum, keeping some of it in your mouth. He let go of your hair, saying how much of a good girl you were for swallowing daddy’s cum. His cock was still semi-erect and you smirked, dropping some of his cum on his cock, making Angel groan as he felt himself hardened again at the sight of you using his cum as lubrication, moving your hand up and down once again.

“God, my dirty little librarian.” Angel always fantasized doing numerous things with you in the library. You weren’t opposed to it, but Angel hardly came to pick you up from your work. And now, Angel regretted that.

You placed a sweet little kiss at the tip of his cock before you stood up.

“Stay here, I’ll get you some paper towels.” He grabbed your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Let me make you feel good.” Angel smirked when he saw your breast just calling to him. You balanced yourself on the arm rest of the arm chair. Your dress was sinful since it was this black cami dress that you usually wore a cardigan with. He knew without that cardigan, all those fuckers that pretend to go to the library for books would be staring straight at your ample breast. And even though you were wearing leggings under, the imagination was running wild. “Where the fuck is your cardigan?” He hated how your breasts were just out in the open, even though your dress did cover your cleavage well, Angel had fucked you too many times in this dress, pulling the top down, watching as your breast bounced up and down as he fucked you.

“No, it’s okay, I just wanted to make you feel good.” In reality, you were ashamed you let this happen. For two years, you did nothing with Angel besides cuddling and now you not only kissed him but you gave him a blowjob. The only reason you did it was because seeing how protective he became over you, it made your heart melt. “I left it on my chair.” You bit back a moan as Angel grabbed your breast.

“What did daddy say about this dress?” He pushed one of your straps down, licking his lips as his eyes focused on your beautiful skin, calling him to mark it.

“Angel,” you whimpered as he pulled a part of your dress down, your naked breast immediately greeting him.

“Where the fuck is your bra?”

“It has a built in one.”

Angel wrapped his hand around your throat, making you look at him. He growled, squeezing your breast, taking your nipples in between his fingers.

“I’m gonna ask you one more fucking time, what did daddy say about this dress.”

“Not to wear it unless you’re with me.” You gave in and you couldn’t even be angry. Angel was doing a number on you. But you had to snap out of it, pleasuring him was one thing, but you didn’t want to go back there with Angel. “But we’re no longer together.” You moved away, fixing yourself. You were so wet, but you couldn’t give in to Angel.

“I can change that.”

“I’ll meet you at the kiosk desk.”

When Angel eventually joined you at the kiosk desk, you were surprised when he sat right beside you. Sienna threw you a smirk before finishing a few things around the library since you were set to close in forty-five minutes. Eugene was escorted off of the property, but you knew he would be back. You should really be more stern with Eugene, but at the same time you knew he found solace in the library since it was his time away from his mother.

You were organizing a few things at your desk, trying your best to avoid Angel and making yourself look busy. His eyes were on you, you could feel them.

“We’re closing soon, you should go.” Boundaries, you shouted that in your head. Boundaries. You had to set up boundaries or you would be in this endless loop with Angel. There was no future between you two, there was no point of prolonging the inevitable.

“I’ll wait just in case he’s waiting for you outside.” Angel’s voice was strained. You knew he was upset about your comment earlier.

“He won’t be, this isn’t some crime drama.” You tried to lighten the mood, but that seemed to upset Angel further. “I’ll be safe, I promise.”

He leaned in, so only you could hear his words. “Stop it, I’m not leaving you, I’m going to make sure you’re fucking safe. You chose to hide this from me for years and now that I’m in the know, you’re not going to be a fucking statistic.” He took the cardigan that was resting on your chair, and placed it over you. “Wear your fucking cardigan. You think just because we’re not together you’re no longer mine?” Angel chuckled. “You’ll always be mine, you can fight it all you want, but you shouldn’t fight the inevitable.”

“I’m not yours, there’s no fighting anything. We’re not together and it’ll remain that way.” You moved away from him, focusing your eyes on the computer in front of you once more.

The library was finally closed and as Angel promised, he remained by your side. You stood up gathering your things and you saw Sienna making her way towards the door.

“Hey! Are we still meeting at that new Thai place?”

Sienna was about to confirm your plans when Angel shook his head behind you. She refrained from smiling and shook her head.

“Sorry babe, my man just texted me. He’s having some technical difficulties at home. Rain check?”

“Sure.” You smiled and waved her goodbye. You could feel Angel behind you, his heat was just radiating. “Hey, so, I have to do inventory. You can sweep the parking lot to see if he’s there, but otherwise, we’re good. Thanks again for standing up for me.” You didn’t want to face Angel, you were nervous about what you would see. Resisting Angel was difficult and you just had so much willpower left. You never felt your dry spell, it never bothered you, until today. Now you really had to get laid.

You felt Angel box you in, his front against your back. You felt his hot breath against your skin. “Are the cameras on?”

“Huh?” Being in such close proximity to Angel, you wanted to close your eyes, bask in the feeling, but you have to set up boundaries.

“Are the cameras on?” Angel repeated his question.

“No, Sienna turns them off, only the outside cameras are on.”

“Good.” Angel placed his hand on your breast, grabbing it through your dress. Placing your hand on top of his, you incidentally intertwined your hands, with your hand on top of his as his other hand slid down your dress starting from your chest down to your abdomen and under your dress, pulling down your leggings. You felt him smile against your ear when he felt just how dampen your panties were. “You’re so wet, is this all for daddy?”

You whimpered when you felt Angel press against your clothed pearl. He squeezed your breast making you let out another whimper. “I didn’t hear an answer.”

“Yes daddy.” Your other hand grabbed Angel’s before he could move your underwear to the side. “Angel, let’s not do this.” Your mind screamed boundaries while your heart said fuck it.

“Why baby, you let someone else touch my pussy?” Angel swatted your hand, slipping his fingers under your panties. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, stretch out this pussy.”

Your phone began to ring and you immediately grabbed it. It was Jay, your ex-boyfriend. Angel saw the name and growled out your name.

“If you answer, I’m gonna make sure to make you come while he’s talking to you.” Jay was a sore spot for Angel. He was your high school sweetheart. The one that supposedly got away. Fuck that, Angel refused to acknowledge that. Jay was a part of your past, one he never wanted to address since he made him feel even more insecure about your relationship.

Angel ran a finger up and down your slit, slipping it past your entrance shallowly, moving his finger tip in and out. It was just enough for you to feel him, but not enough.

You let your phone ring, focused on the sensations or lack thereof that Angel was providing.

“You want my finger all the way, so you can feel my rings against that pussy?”

You nodded your head, loving the feel of Angel’s hand against yours. His hands were always so fucking big, it made yours feel small.

“Naw, I know you got a voice,” he kissed your ear, nipping at it. “Fucking use it.”

“Yes, please daddy.” You begged.

Angel chuckled lowly and slipped his finger further in, adding a second finger. “Tight as always, no one touched you baby?” His thumb landed on your throbbing pearl, tapping it.

“No daddy, just me.” You didn’t want to disclose with Angel that Marie’s words were true about your dry spell. You felt him add a third finger and you threw your head back, your head landing on Angel’s shoulder.

Angel wrapped a hand on your throat, chastely kissing your cheek. He kept his lips on your cheek, his breath against your skin further turning you on.

“Did you use that toy I got you?” He questioned. He was rubbing his clothes erection against your back, the friction was amazing, but you knew it would be so much better when it was his bare skin against yours.

“Yes daddy, I did.” You were clenching Angel’s fingers, his fingers tightening around your throat.

Just as Angel was about to unzip his jeans to slide on home, the door opened. You tried to move away from Angel, but all he did was fix your dress and kept you pressed against him. Jay looked at you, the swollen lips, the disheveled state and the smug look on Angel’s face gave it away.

“Was I interrupting?” Jay questioned, walking further inside the library.

“No.”

“Yes.”

You and Angel answered at the same time. He looked down at you, but you kept your eyes on Jay.

“You said you wouldn’t be back till next week.” You really wished Jay didn’t come, but at the same time you were glad he came. You were going to cave to Angel and that was the last thing you wanted to do.

“I decided to surprise you.” Jay leaned against the kiosk desk once he arrived, smirking. “You could have continued Reyes, I don’t mind watching.” The smugness on Jay’s face irritated Angel.

You sighed and pushed Angel out of the kiosk desk. “Go home Angel.”

“I’m not leaving you with this guy.” Angel stood his ground. Jay wasn’t your man, and he never would be again.

“She’s safe with me, go back to your little club, fix bikes, fuck bitches, and sell drugs.” Jay knew what the Mayans were, he’s had his fair share of run ins with them over the years. He was friends with Neron, a gym buddy of his you could say and he served time with Johnny in the Marines.

“Jay!” You hissed.

Angel just smirked and shook his head. Jay wasn’t worth it, not yet at least.

“I’ll see you later querida.” He brushed past Jay. It took every fiber in his body to not knock him out.

There was a time and place.

His main goal right now was to get you back. You two had plenty to talk about and Angel planned on discussing things with you. He wasn’t going to let Jay weasel his way back in, especially since he may never let you go again.

Angel understood he fucked up.

He made a hasty decision.

But, it was a new year.

It’s 2020.

A brand new decade.

Your past grievances could be left behind in 2019.

Valentine’s Day was around the corner and he was determined to spend it with you.

Angel was more determined to win you back. That kiss, he knew he wasn’t the only one who felt that undeniable spark between you two. And the sexual encounters you two just had, it left Angel wanting more, as he always had.

But he had to take care of Eugene and then Jay.

=================

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @anangelwhodidntfall : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespancakes : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @onmyspookysblock : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @un-poetryy : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead : @thesandbeneathmytoes : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind : @maddie-georges : @pearlkitten33 : @incorrect-mcdanno : @that-chick212 : @imanerdychubbyqueen : @60shannon : @deeandbobbymcgee : @marquelapage : @justlikebreathing : @mindless-x-dreaming : @thesewordsareallihavetogive : @wiccanmetallicrose : @appropriate-writers-name : @likedovesinthewnd : @admirehermind : @krysiewithak : @helli4nthus : @robbosvgdens : @scuzmunkie : @proudlittlewitchbitch : @lilacyennefer : @witchyhours

#angel reyes #angelreyes #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

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maki-s-wife · 3 years

Note

Okay, hi, I love your writing and I’ve seen your post AND IM THIRSTY FOR MAKI X F!/GN!READER AND IDK, SIMPLY WRITE ANYTHING YOU WANT? I DIE FOR PINING??? SLOW BURN??? Gjwjfjdengjsj A little angsty??? They have feeling for each other but reader thinks she’s in love with Nobara sort of things?? Or something based on THE song SURRENDER?idk rlly, anyway you wa— OR BASED ON ANOTHER SONG: MERCURY BY SLEEPING AT LAST.

Okay I’m done. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Pairing: maki zenin x female!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.4K

I loved this request and I love maki so this fit hand in hand😇 Sorry this took over a month to write it is very very long compared to anything else I’ve done but I still hope you enjoy❤️

It hadn’t been the first time. The first time you sat staring a Maki train with Nobara. Her moves were so swift, much has changed from you and her’s first year.

Panda and Toge sat across from you looking at your moody state, they’ve tried to nudge you to ask out Maki for months now. “y/n they’re just training there’s nothing more going on”, Panda said as you squinted took get a better look at the girls battling. You huffed, “Panda-“. “Bonito flakes”. Toge said with an annoyed look on his face. The two had been experiencing this constant back and forth pining with the both of you for almost a year now. Either they were trying to convince Maki to ask you out or You to ask out Maki.

In your first year Maki was always embarrassed around you. You were much stronger than her and if she was in trouble you were always the one to swoop into save her. She already had motivation to grow in strength but now she had more motivation. She didn’t like the embarrassment of being saved. It wasn’t your fault of course but she didn’t want you to view her as weak.

In your eyes weak was the opposite of what Maki was. To still want to be a sorcerer with her low cursed energy took courage. She was powerful, of someone couldn’t see that you’d threatened to beat that fact into their head.

Panda was about to speak again when there was a huge thump. Looking to where Maki and Kugisaki was training your jaw dropped at the image of Maki pining the first year to the ground. Her enamoring voice spoke her win of the match. Toge looked at you and giggled slightly. “What’s so funny” you said, your face glowing redder than a rose. “Salmon roe” he said. “I-I do not wish that was me you weirdo” you grumbled, the bright blush very apparent on your face. Standing up to chase him around Maki looked over at you. She had trained in front of you on purpose. She wanted you to see her, see how much she’s grown, see her abilities now. It was her way of trying to impress you. She didn’t think she could impress you with much else. Instead she saw you pulling at toges ears yelling into them about some nonsense she couldn’t hear. Maki sighed in defeat, the amount of attempts she had to get your attention always failed.

Panda looked between the two of you seeing Maki now carrying Nobara bridal style to shoko after seeing her leg was injured. You were still chasing Toge around when you looked up to see Maki carrying Kugisaki. You paused in your tracks. “Why was she carrying her, she never Carried me like that...” you mumbled words like these until you reached your room. Throwing yourself in your bed you looked to your side. On your nightstand there was a picture with you, Gojo, Yuuta, Panda, Toge, and Maki. Next to it was a Polaroid. A Polaroid of Maki and you on the day you almost confessed to her. You were hugging in the picture, your faces smushed next to each other, smiling and laughing from the event of the fun festival Gojo took everyone to.

Maki left Nobara with shoko and went to get ready to shower. Going through her dresser to grab products and such she picked up a Polaroid from the same day of the picture you had. In hers you were still close to each other laughing just a in a different area. That day she was so close to confessing to you.

The thing is neither of you remember why you didn’t go through with your plans. Nervousness, fear of rejection, was there another person? None of you could recall. It just didn’t happen and sent Panda and Toge into a grumpy state with Yuuta trying calm the two down.

You’d taken a nap while Maki showered. Groggily trudging through the hallways to find her. It wasn’t as though you’d ignore if she was dating Kugisaki. Simply you’d be jealous...for a very long time. But it would pass at some point...right?

You were snapped from your thoughts when you saw maki walking towards her door. Before you could even wave your hand and say her name she was pulled into her dorm by a hand you could only tell was Nobara’s. You paused for a moment and slowly pulled your hand down. Turning back to walk to your room you bumped into Megumi. “Sorry y/n” he said. You apologized as well but Megumi grabbed your arm. “I was actually supposed to get you, panda asked for you”. You sighed hoping it wasn’t training he was asking for.

When you arrived you saw panda,toge,itadori and now Megumi sitting in seats. “You humans and you complicated feelings” panda grumbled with his arms crossed. Toge following suit imitating him.

In Maki’s room Nobara sat her on her bed. “What’s wrong Nobara” Maki asked eager to go find you after what ever Nobara had to say. Nobara put her foot down. “You know that you have to do it soon, it’s obvious that she likes you back” “with all the spying you make me do it’s very clear”. Maki looked away. She wanted to believe it but it came off as weird that someone would find her attractive. Yes she was confident in herself but the only thing she couldn’t see was someone wanting a relationship with her. Especially you. Nobara huffed “Gojo wants to take us to a festival this year, I heard that happened last year to”. “Yes he did” Maki replied looking back at Nobara. “And you told me you had an elaborate plan last year to get y/n correct?”. Nobara had been Maki’s wing girl as soon as she realized Maki’s crush on you.

Maki hunched over, nodded and sighed. It would be a perfect time to try again but could she really pull it off? She wants to. She truly does. But the fear and embarrassment of rejection still lingers over her as it does you. “Fine I’ll do it but-“. “No buts y/n is head over heels for you and will say yes. She’ll be all-“ queue Nobara making lovey doves faces imitating you in a hysterical way.

Now here you were being pressured into re trying your plan to ask out Maki by the boys. Toge spewing nonsense with a grumpy face, Megumi sitting back not paying attention, itadori being enthusiastic about everything Toge and panda were saying.

“I don’t know...she might say no or worse hate me” you admitted. The fear of Maki hating you was a nightmare.

Finally Megumi stood up. “Y/n your just dragging it out. Do you want to date Maki or not?”. “of course I do” you mumbled. “Then THATS all it will take, Maki likes you and you can beat us all over the head if she somehow says no”. “Now gojo is taking everyone to some festival, that’s when you should do it”. He said before beginning to walk off. Everyone looked at him stunned. No one would have thought Megumi would contribute let alone put yourself in a confident mood ready to execute something you’ve been meaning to do for months.

It’s been a week since you and Maki decided to prepare to ask out the other. The week was fairly normal, Maki and you hung out and trained. Not a day went by without the two of you thinking about today, the day of the festival.

Everyone walked there considering panda couldn’t fit in the only car available (let’s pretend a panda walking and talking In public is normal here)

There were games, food, rides. Everyone was pretty scattered out. Gojo around the snack stands, The boys with you around the games minus Megumi who had decided to go eat in peace somewhere else, and Maki with Nobara by the gift shops”. You looked for Maki around everywhere as it was getting dark, you wanted to spend some normal time around her before the confession. Once you spotted her across the large area you waved and got her attention. Itadori and panda wishing you luck while Toge did the same but still stared holes into your head as you jogged over to Maki making sure you didn’t turn back.

Maki looked over to Nobara who had paid for her things. “Go, when the time is right you’ll know”. Nobara said putting her thumbs up with a large smile. Maki gave her a final hug before turning around to see you already there.

You rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly, starting to get nervous. A hug didn’t mean dating but people who do date usually hug-.

Trying to push down your nerves you greeted Maki and went off the play games and go on rides.

You almost completely forgot all your worries as you won prizes from games, got dizzy from rides, and ate various sweets with Maki. The entire time Maki was becoming more flushed in the face. Everything you did set her to look at you in awe. Often catching herself staring at you before you could see yourself.

The night was coming out and the both of you were reminded of your tasks.

Maki was about to speak when you did first. “Can we...go over there”. You pointed behind her. Maki looked back to see the vast area with many blossomed trees and grass. She nodded...but what could you want to go over there for?

You sat and patted next to you. She sat down next to you and you mumbled somethings he couldn’t hear. “Hm?”

“Can I ask you something maki?” You said more clearer. “Alright, about what” now Maki was concerned. Did you catch her staring at you? Did she freak you out? Did you know about her feelings and came her to let her down easy?

You waited a moment. “What is I-“ “are you and Kugisaki dating?”. You asked bringing your knees up to your face slowly squeezing them tighter. Maki looked at you shocked. “huh, What made you think that?” She said completely baffled. you perked up “wait so your not?” You asked your jaw now slack open. “No?? Seriously when did we ever seem that way”. You let out a huge sigh falling backwards onto the cold grass. Maki didn’t know what to say. How does she ask you out from here? All she could do was go for it.

“Y/n I think-“ “well the true reason I asked you here for was...” you took a deep breath it was now or wait months more to try again. “I have feelings for you, like romantic feelings”. You turned away from her as you said it. The silence was so loud until you heard small laughs coming from Maki.

Now she was laughing at you, great. “Um just ignore tha-“ you began as you started to get up ready to run off for a while out of humiliation. But before you could you felt Maki’s slender fingers softly grab your chin, pulling your face closer to hers in for a kiss. It last fir no longer than 5 seconds but when you pulled away for face could be compared to the reddest tomato known to man.

“I can’t believe you beat me to it...or really said it at all” Maki said laying her hands on yours. “You- wait...WHAT”. You blinked fast, was this a dream? A joke? Did you really just get to kiss the girl you’ve had feelings for almost since you met her.

“I planned to tell you the same news y/n, but I guess we both had the same plans”. Maki looked at you her blush very noticeable making you heat up more.

After a couple more minutes of explanation you were both in each other’s grasp laughing and continuing to talk about how this was supposed to happen long before today.

Spying on you from afar was the rest of the group who watched the whole thing go down even Megumi. Toge did dances with yuuji, panda clapping his hands (paws?), and Megumi with a slight smile on his face.

They were happy that the two of you were finally happy together now.

#jujustu kaisen #jujustu kaisen x reader #maki zenin x reader #maki zenin #maki x reader

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usermoreid · 3 years

Note

what would the unsub maeve story line be like? talk about it!

god im so happy you asked me this. it got so long so it's under a cut but im akfhdh i love unsub maeve arc

okay so she reaches out to spencer because she's been looking for a way to get to the team for a while now, and spencer posting to forums about his migraines was the perfect opportunity. she starts slow - introduces herself as a geneticist, asks to see the brain scans. spencer's so desperate for help he doesn't even ask for credentials, he just sends them to her. what's the worst that can happen, right??

she says she has some ideas, but she needs to talk to him; she needs to get a feel for what sort of lifestyle he's living so that she can figure out the best way to work with it. spencer's immediately overjoyed - someone has an idea of how to help him?? wonderful!! exactly what he needed!! so they start writing letters. she asks about any trauma he's been through in the past. he thinks it's to see if there could be any psychological or physical underlying issues. it's actually so that she can use it against him if need be.

talking about these things just feels so good to him - he's never been able to be so open with someone. but it's for medical purposes, he reasons, meaning that it's not like he's actually talking about it. and then they start talking on the phone. she suggests some vitamins - things she knows won't actually help him with his migraines but also won't hurt. during these phone calls, he pretty much starts using her as a therapist of sorts. and then he learns that she really is incredibly smart and wow she's so funny and oh my god she let's him ramble on and on to his heart's content and oh she's literally perfect.

his headaches become a little less severe. he pins it on the vitamins and the changes in diet and the exercises that she has him doing. he's not necessarily wrong, it is making him healthier. but it's actually due to the decrease in stress. he's not bottling up his emotions anymore. it took a little bit of time but he reaches a point where if he has a difficult case, he picks up the phone and calls maeve, whose credentials he still never asked for because why would he ask for proof when he's literally evidence of her capability himself??

this goes on for a while. spencer partially does actually develop feelings for her, but he mostly just starts associating the lack of pain with her, along with the relief that comes with it. he doesn't realise. she does. it's going exactly to plan.

she tells him about her stalker; says that he's the reason they can't meet; says that it's far too dangerous to get spencer's team involved because i don't want to hurt you and spencer believes it all. why wouldn't he?? he certainly has no reason to believe that they actually can't meet because her plan isn't ready yet, or that the team can't get involved because they'll see beyond the veil that spencer's insecurities have casted and immediately spot the red flags. no, she has no reason to lie to him, why would he ever doubt her?? he loves her, she helps him. and she loves him too, she said so herself. she wouldn't lie to him.

and then one day she gets kidnapped. there's a voice saying zugzwang and she can't answer the phone and oh my god he's going to have to tell the team. so he does. he musters up all the courage he doesn't have and stumbles marches his way into hotch's office, trying to project an air of confidence that's greatly diminished by the overwhelming anxiety coming off of him in waves and he tells his boss everything, from their first meeting to their last conversation.

hotch is skeptical, spencer can tell, but they go through with it anyway. they treat it like a regular case. they think it's the ex-fiance and oh god why didn't she say she was engaged and then they think it's the guy's new girlfriend and they've found where they are, they've figured it out let's go get her!!

and when he gets there he's told to blindfold himself and he does and then he's strapped to a chair and he needs to see her and he finally does and—

i told you we were going to make blindfolds fun again, he hears.

she's standing alone. two bodies in the back - bobby and diane. she had to kill them. bobby was going to expose who she really is and why she really had to disappear from her academic circles and maeve couldn't have people finding out that she was forced to leave after stalking someone to the point of almost getting a restraining order, not after she fought so hard to keep it quiet. and diane - ugh, diane - who stole her boyfriend and wore her clothes without even knowing they were hers. they both had to go.

he stares in shock. he doesn't understand. he came here to save her why is she free why is she stood in front of two dead bodies why is he strapped down to a chair what's happening??

she tells him. she tells him that the bau ruined her life. she tells him that they killed her parents - her real parents, the ones that weren't related to her by blood but through love, the ones who took her in when she was a child who ran away from home. they were serial killers, sure, but they loved her and she loved them. but then the bau came along and ruined their big finale. they didn't get the chance to blow up the people they were meant to, so they blew themselves up. suicide, it technically was. maeve calls it murder. the bau murdered them.

she takes spencer's gun from his hip and fires a shot into the wall, knowing that the team would come running. spencer can't tell them not to, they wouldn't hear him in time. they pile in, seeing maeve holding a detonator in one hand and the gun in the other and they realise, only moments after spencer, that she's rigged the place to blow.

she makes them all put their weapons down and throw them over, as she holds the gun to spencer's head. once the weapons have been dealt with, she throws the one she's holding over with the others and waves the detonator higher, making sure everyone can see it. she tells them that her cells have been dying ever since she returned to her birth parents, never having told them where she was for months and they didn't care enough to ask, because that was the moment she decided she was going to kill herself. she said it happened to her parents too - spontaneous cell death, she called it.

then derek lunges forward. it has such a small chance of working, but it's either this or they all blow up. either way, there's a strong chance they won't make it out. may as well give anything a shot.

he gets the detonator out of her hand by some miraculous luck but before anybody has time to celebrate, she grabs a gun out of the pile and points it to her own head whilst derek's is next to it. if the bullet gets shot, it would kill them both.

it doesn't get shot. spencer's gun does. the one he hides in his ankle holster. the one he grabbed as hotch untied him during the chaos. the one he never told her about because it was such a subconscious act that he never even thought to mention it. he's grateful that he didn't, but not until later. no, right then he doesn't feel anything as his bullet rips through the skull of the woman he loves. or as the gun clatters noisily yet silently to the floor. or as his knees give in and he falls down, staring at the blood pooling from the face he'd never seen in person. she was as beautiful as he had thought. the most beautiful girl in the world. and he had killed her.

#this got SO long #but jesus christ i love it so much i really love unsub maeve #finn answers #taiposting #tw suicide #unsub maeve

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headheartbellarke · 3 years

Text

JEALOUS | Luke Patterson

Requested by anon: “5 times Luke gets jealous and one time he doesn’t have too. Luke x reader?”

PAIRING(s): Mercer!fem reader x Luke Patterson WARNING(s): angst, fluff WORDS: 2.3k SUMMARY: Five times Luke Patterson gets jealous and one time he doesn’t have to.

A/N: hi! sorry this took so long, lol. school sucks. :/ i promise im gonna be posting more frequently from now onwards! anyway, decided to make y/n alex’ sister, bc i’ve been wanting to try it for a while. hope u like it!! <3 also, song used is carry me by kygo ft. julia michaels.

The first time that Luke Patterson feels that scorching, smoldering rage in the pit of his stomach is when he notices Y/N Mercer stare at his bandmate, Bobby Wilson, for the entirety of their hour-long Literature class.

At first, he doesn’t understand why he feels this way: Y/N’s just as much Bobby’s friend as she is his. Well, not really – Luke likes to believe that he is the one that she is closest to in the band, other than her brother, Alex, of course. Sure, Bobby and Y/N are friends – they say ‘hi’ when they pass by each other in the hallway, she helps him out with his Physics homework when he asks, and he asks her how her day’s been – that sort of friends. They’ve never really interacted more than it was required, and Luke knows that if Bobby wasn’t a part of their band, Sunset Curve, or if Y/N wasn’t their drummer’s sister, those two wouldn’t be friends.

Anyway, he thinks that maybe it’s because they are supposed to be partners, working on their assignment together – and instead, she is choosing to abandon him and stare at one of his best mates, instead. He thinks that maybe he’s mad because she promised him that she would help him out with this assignment, which is particularly hard, and now, it feels like he’s ditching her.

Instead of thinking about why he is so bothered at the fact that Y/N is staring at Bobby, Luke chooses to elbow her instead.

“What?” She whispers, a blush covering her cheeks.

“Can you focus?” He snaps as she rolls her eyes and opens their textbook.

“You’re annoying.”

“Alex, Alex, Alex!”

“Luke, I’m sitting right beside you – you don’t need to yell.”

“There’s something that you should know.” Luke whispers, conspiratorially. Alex, who’s sitting beside him on the couch in the garage where they rehearse, leans forward, intrigued. “What?”

He points at Y/N, who’s sitting in front of Reggie in the opposite side of the room, strumming a guitar – Reggie’s teaching her how to play. Unlike her twin brother, she’s not naturally gifted in music, which is pretty evident from her occasional frustrated huffs, and the obviously off-key tune. Rather, science is her talent, and has always been. The top spot in their class has been permanently occupied by her ever since their first exam as freshmen.

“She!” Luke whispers. Alex furrows his brows. “Yes, I know that she has no musical talent whatsoever –”

“No, no, no. I mean, yes, she doesn’t have that – but you wanna know what she does?”

“I have a feeling that you’re gonna tell me even if I don’t wanna know.” Alex mutters.

“She has a crush on Bobby!” Luke scrunches his face, a disgusted look taking over.

The drummer raises his brows and bursts out laughing. “Really, dude?”

“No, no, no, I’m not lying, okay! I’ve seen her stare at him!”

He raises his brows. “So? She stares at a lot of people.”

“It wasn’t that way, okay? Last week, in class, she was ignoring me and staring at him. Plus, yesterday, when you were god knows where, she and Bobby were having a conversation. An actual conversation! I’ve never seen them talk that much. They were nerding out over Star Wars!”

“Dude, are you…” Alex pauses, looking around, “… jealous?” A smile spreads over his features.

Luke’s eyes widen, and he looks horrified. “What? Me? Jealous? Huh? Me? How?”

Inside, he is panicking. He hadn’t considered this possibility. Is he jealous? No, that can’t be. Y/N – he’s known her forever, and he is supposed to think of her as his sister. He does think so. He’s sure. He can’t – he doesn’t like her. She’s just… Y/N. Sure, he’s always thought that she’s beautiful. And smart. And so, so kind. He’s always admired her. OK, he might have had a little crush on her. But, in a totally harmless, admiring way! (In the way everyone seems to like Winona Ryder these days. Nothing more than that. Absolutely.)

She’s just Y/N.

Y/N, who’s always there for him after he has a bad day. Y/N, who’s the first person he hugs after playing an intense show. Y/N, who’s the only person who can understand his silence. Y/N, who makes sure that he knows that she appreciates him. Y/N, who he knows like the back of his hand.

Before Luke can panic any further, Bobby enters the garage, and Luke notices her attention immediately shift toward him. They exchange a smile, and Luke feels that rage, yet again.

He falls back on the couch, locking eyes with Alex, who is silently watching with a soft smile on his face.

“I’m not jealous.” He says weakly, and Alex nods – but he knows that it doesn’t convince either of them. His friend lays a hand on his shoulder, whispering, “It’s okay.”

By the time the next month rolls around, Luke is positive that he’s jealous: so, he’s resorted to not thinking about it, her or even interacting with her – which is hard considering that she’s always around.

Now, he feels like shit. For their junior year, they are supposed to do a report on a Victorian era novel of their choice, with a partner. He and Y/N were supposed to partners – they had decided months ago and have also done previous assignments together. But now, since he hasn’t even dared to look at her in a month, she’s now doing the report with Bobby, of all people.

As he watches Bobby and Y/N sit next to each other with their arms brushing, he feels that rage again, and curses himself. Could he not have behaved like a normal person? He knows that she is confused as to why he’s suddenly ignoring and avoiding her – she has even asked her brother about it. But Luke had threatened Alex that he would tell everyone about his crush on Reggie if he even said a single syllable.

(Although Luke knows that he would never.)

He sighs, dramatically, and searches for someone else to pair up with, ignoring the way his heart clenches at the realization that he may be losing her.

“Luke?”

He looks up and feels a rush in his veins.

“Are you… mad at me?” Y/N asks tentatively, standing at the door to his bedroom. Her eyes keep flitting between his face and around his bedroom, and he hates the fact that there seems to be an ocean between them.

“Uh…” He scratches the back of his neck, not knowing what to respond. She looks down at her feet, biting her lip and Luke feels a tug on his heartstrings at that. It’s been so, so long and he has so, so much to tell her, but he doesn’t know how to bridge the gap that he created.

He builds up his courage and says, “Yeah. I was kinda mad at you.”

Her eyebrows furrow, and panic flows into her e/c eyes. “What – what’d I do?”

Luke inhales sharply and wonders what he’s gonna say. It’s not like he can say that he was jealous of the fact that she liked Bobby, nor could he say that in the past month he has realized the fact that he may have a tiny, little crush on her and had to avoid her at all costs because she will never like him back and it’s too embarrassing?

He clears his throat. “Uh. It’s because you promised that you would do the English project with me but you’re doing it with Bobby.”

“But I’m only doing it with him because you won’t even look at me! Why won’t you?”

“I… You also ignored me for Bobby the other day?”

She throws her hands up. “What other day?”

“When we were working on the Shakespeare thingy!”

“I was not – now you’re making –”

“Forget it. Just go home, Y/N.”

A look of hurt flashes over her eyes, but she quickly clenches her jaw, and stands straighter, masking her emotions. “Asshole.”

She walks out his door, slamming the door shut behind her.

For the rest of the day, Luke lies on his bed and stares at his ceiling, and when Reggie comes over, he tells him that he’s ruined everything. Reggie lies beside him and asks softly, “You okay?”

“I think I like Y/N.” He whispers.

“We know.”

His lips part and he says in disbelief, “Alex told you?!”

Reggie shrugs. “He didn’t need to. Everyone can see the way that you look at her.”

Luke sighs, too tired to argue.

“Hey. It’s just a date, alright? It’s not like they’re getting married.”

Luke props himself on his elbow. “What?”

“Y’know, Y/N’s really picky –”

“What date?”

Reggie’s eyes widen. “Y-You didn’t know?”

Luke raises his brows, urging his friend to continue. He purses his lips and says, “Y/N and Bobby are on a date right now.”

Instantly, Luke feels as if his world has drained of every colour. Reggie looks uncomfortable, and whispers, “I thought you knew.”

“I, uh, I didn’t. Obviously.” He whispers, falling back on the bed again. His heart physically hurts, and he can feel tears prick at the back of his eyes. Mostly, he feels anger – at himself, and regret.

As jealousy claws its way to the surface, Luke mutters, “I hate Bobby.”

Luke sits cross legged on the floor of the garage, with a Spanish guitar perched on his lap. His hands dance over the strings, trying to find the perfect melody for the song he just wrote.

Writing songs has always been his way of dealing with his emotions, especially when they got too intense. Right now, the situation with Y/N is exactly that.

His eyes dance over the notebook in front of him, and he closes his eyes, trying to forget everything that’s happened in the past couple of days.

“Cause I don't know how we How we got so far, you and me Almost like there's oceans between us, us So I need to know Could you carry me? Back into your heart again Could you carry me? Right into your distant hands Could you carry me? Right back to where we started from Could you carry me?”

“That’s beautiful.”

Luke’s head turns sharply to the side, and of course, it’s her. He clenches his jaws, and says, “What are you doing here?” He hates the fact that she looks so pretty, wearing a beautiful red sundress.

She bites her lower lip, and says, “We should talk, Luke.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

She giggles. “You’ve always been the jealous type.”

He raises his brows, opening his mouth to deny whatever she was about to say next, but she raises a hand to stop him. “Alex and Reg told me. They said that they’re tired of seeing you mope every day.”

“I –”

“Hold on. So, for the past month, you’ve been mad at me because you thought I like Bobby?”

Luke lowers his head, choosing to stare at his open palm instead.

“You ignored one of your best friends for more than a month because you were jealous, and you were too much of an idiot to tell her the truth?”

“Well, you don’t gotta be so mean about it.”

She laughs. “Luke. Bobby and I – we’re just friends, okay? I was staring at him because I really liked his hair. And you have to admit it – it’s nice. I actually asked him for his shampoo, too. But, well, you and him both thought that I liked him. That’s why he asked me out to the movies last day. But... uh, well, it didn’t work out.”

His heart races at the last sentence. “Why?”

“Because I like you, Luke. I always have. I thought I could like Bobby, I really did – but all I could think about last night was you.” She shrugs, and Luke feels like he’s falling. He thinks that the universe is playing a prank on him, but when he sees her crimson tinged face, the vulnerability in her eyes and her fiddling with her hands, he allows himself to feel the slightest amount of hope.

She looks down, continuing, “I, uh, I always thought that you only saw me as your best friend’s little sister. I didn’t ever think that, you know, that there could be something more. So, I kept it to myself and only Alex knew. But, last night, Reg came over and they were screaming for a while, about you and me, so I went to find out what happened, and they told me that you, uh, liked me too.”

Reggie. He must have told Alex that Luke was ugly crying on his shoulder.

“Please say something, Luke.”

He releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I – I feel like you’re pranking me.”

She grins. “No. No, definitely not.”

“Y/N, god, you have no idea how difficult this past month has been for me. I mean, I never realized that I liked you that much until I saw you with him, you know? I always thought that I had a tiny, little crush on you but I never… and I thought that Alex would kill me if I did anything, but he’s been oddly… nice about all this.”

“He’s just tired of hearing me talk about you.”

“Probably. But yeah. I think you’re brilliant, Mercer. And I really, really, really like you.”

She jumps a little, and whispers, “I really, really, really like you too.”

“Do you maybe wanna go to the movies with me?” His wide grin matches hers.

“Only if we watch part two of Father of The Bride.”

“Deal.”

+1.

Luke watches Bobby smile at Y/N, looking at her as if she’s put the moon in the sky. Although, this time, he doesn’t feel the rage. He doesn’t need to, really, with Y/N’s hand wrapped in his, and the ghost of her lips still lingering on his.

requests open! as always, feedback is highly appreciated <33

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seeker-of-stories19 · 3 years

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Found this article about things Ian did wrong in Shameless and I’m not saying he’s perfect but this didn’t even make sense so I’m fixing it. (Part 2)

10/20

C’mon I’m dying here so I’ll just reiterate what I was saying in part one of this. He’s mentally ill, so no he’s not making great decisions but that’s not his fault. Also at this point in the show he’s really starting to live with his bipolar disorder, he’s on better meds and he’s moving forward in his life. And seriously if you want to have sex with a ton of people who cares as long as your safe and honest with your partners, which wasn’t the case for Ian but I was annoyed by the overall negativity of this section’s title because it’s really no one else business.

9/20

I don’t have a lot to say about this one because it was a pretty bad thing to do regardless of the circumstances. But I’d like to add that they didn’t have enough of a relationship to be massively affected, and that the last sentence makes Frank out to be the victim of the series. It’s obviously referring to the bridge incident in which he was a victim but saying “he struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty” seems unfounded and out of character. It’s never mentioned again and isn’t this big moment of shattered relationships it’s made out to be in the article.

8/20

Personally I really liked Trevor as a character and I even thought his relationship with Ian was good for the series because it kind of represented everything Ian wanted from Mickey that he couldn’t give and I think being with someone who was maybe his dream guy when he was younger helped him move past whatever idealism he had surrounding his relationship with Mickey by realizing that it wasn’t really what he wanted or needed. And as for Mickey their relationship is clearly unconventional in a variety of ways but they love each other so much and overcome so much more than most people in their relationship. It wouldn’t be considered ‘healthy’ from a phycological standpoint but they work really well together and complement each other and make each other happy. Whatever they have works for them and that’s all that matters.

7/20

This one is also pretty bad but while I’m not justifying his behavior here I still didn’t like how it was presented. Starting once again with the fact that Ian shouldn’t blackmail an old client but at the same time old men shouldn’t be having sex with underage teenagers. And overall I could see Ian’s power play being the result of a mental illness induced trauma that caused him to make decisions he wouldn’t have in a stable mindset. He was not mentally stable and he was high which means he was being taken advantage of even if it was consensual and his clients didn’t have this information. It not being intentional wouldn’t stop it from being traumatizing or hurtful to Ian and I could understand why he’d want to take a little bit of power back after being helpless for so long. Also its nothing like Frank because he’s doing it for a good reason, not to get wasted or high so that again doesn’t make sense.

6/20

Yeah so not his best moment but I’d just like to add that he was genuinely trying to help people so no one would have to struggle the way he (and Mickey) did. And while his behavior quickly turned erratic he was still trying to help albeit in his own unstable way. But it is later revealed that Ian was off his meds at this point which kind of dissolves any validity this claim may have had. And his attitude toward Trevor could be attributed to this as well (or maybe Ian was just losing interest, who knows?)

5/20

His meds don’t cure his illness they just balance it out and sometimes it’s not enough. He doesn’t stop taking his medication because he’s selfish but because he’s sick. And as for the rest of it he’s mentally ill, he’s not thinking straight, and it’s not his fault.

4/20

He’s bipolar and he’s off his meds, not sure how many more ways I can think to say this.

3/20

Great well they’ve been giving him a hard time for at least the past three sections and now the opposite criticism is being made. He believed in the cause and he said he believed in it at his hearing but telling the judge and a group of his followers that the way he’d handled the issue was wrong took courage and I was upset at his followers, some of whom were friends as well, for abandoning him when he admitted he was off his medication. Saying he shouldn’t have withheld a child from their parents and that he shouldn’t have blown up a van aren’t the same as saying he didn’t believe wholeheartedly in the cause.

2/20

Ian lives a life he’s happy with and that’s what matters. So he didn’t go to college (and get kicked out) or buy real estate (and then lose it and subsequently go off the deep end) he manages his bipolar disorder, works as an EMT, and is married to the love of his life while looking out for his siblings too. This seems like a pretty great life to me and despite its challenges he still has room to grow. And again with the medication, seriously?

1/20

Well this is so bad it’s almost funny. Literally Ian and Mickey are the only reason to watch this show and this comment had me torn between laughing and throwing my phone when I read it. I’m going to break it down a little anyway though for fun. So Mickey denied his feelings for Ian (internalized homophobia by the way) considering how his dad behaves when given this news can you blame him for wanting to protect himself? There was the rape incident with Svetlana, Terry tried to beat him to death when he came out, he burned down their wedding venue and tried to kill them on their honeymoon. I wonder why he didn’t accept he was gay sooner? And I’m sorry but are you kidding me, Ian being bipolar does not keep them from being happy, this is discriminatory towards people with mental illness in relationships, insulting to their characters, and blatantly untrue. The whole article was underplaying his mental illness and now they’re saying he can’t be in a happy relationship because of it? Also, the only time they weren’t faithful was when Ian was first suffering bipolar symptoms and didn’t have his meds which isn’t his fault, before that Mickey was just trying to force himself into being someone he could never be because he’s traumatized and afraid (and they weren’t exclusive and Ian knew he was with other people.) I’d like to point out again that there was heat on Ian for this earlier and it’s contradictory but so what he didn’t run away with Mickey. He wanted too but felt responsible for taking care of his family and things worked out better for him having stayed. Their relationship is unique and funny and sexy and they make each other happy so I don’t know what else there is to say.

I really hope people enjoyed this because it took me forever, I’d love to know everyone else’s thoughts.

P. S. The full article is posted to part one of this post for anyone who wants to check it out but mostly to give the writer credit.

Part 2/2

#shameless #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #gallagher’s #gallavich #rant post #ranting #bipolar disorder #mental illness #mental disorder #my thoughts

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chvrliesapcet · 3 years

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ever since olivia rodrigo released her debut album, SOUR, i have been listening to it on repeat (totally not kidding). so, after seeing a girl on tiktok do something like this, but with the avengers, i was inspired to make this post. there you go:

the poets as olivia rodrigo’s songs.

trigger warning: mention of su*c*de and mental health issues.

brutal: all of them. they’re teenagers, insecure sometimes, trying their best, but sadly not living the teenage dream (what is it, that fucking teenage dream, anyway?). “if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth, " i’m gonna cry” and they can’t quit what they’re doing, because their parents would most likely be hurt. “and they'd all be so disappointed 'cause who am if, if not exploited?” they once recited the lyrics of this song as a poem, during one of their meetings, and they were all laughing their asses off. life at hell-ton is brutal, what can i say?

traitor: knox, of course. “god i wish that you had thought this through, before i went and fell in love with you” or “guess you didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor” just hit different for him. he thinks about chris when he listens to this song, that’s for sure..! we can’t really blame chris for knox falling in love with her though,, sorry buddy.

drivers license: knox, again. poor boy listens to this song while riding his bike, crying his eyes out. “but today i drove through the suburbs, crying 'cause you weren't around” chris isn’t with that blonde girl, she is that blonde girl. knox has never felt this way for no one, and it’s hard for him to imagine that chris is, well, doing okay without him. he thinks and talks about her all the time. “and all my friends are tired of hearing how much i miss you, but i kinda feel sorry for them 'cause they'll never know you the way that i do”

1 step forward, 3 steps back: todd. like many people (including me!) when he listens to this song, he doesn’t necessarily think of a past relationship (mostly because he has never dated anyone before neil). he thinks of his mental health struggles, such as his anxiety, instead. it’s hard, sometimes. he thinks he’s getting better, but then realizes he isn’t.. “got me fucked up in the head, boy. never doubted myself so much. like am i pretty, am i fun boy? i hate that i gave you power over that kinda stuff” need i say more? this song is as soft, but as sad, as he is.

deja vu: keating. this is.. kind of a joke, but only because i didn’t know who to pair this song with. john was an original member of the dead poets society, and knowing that now, other teenage boys are taking turns reading poetry, in the old indian cave, reminds him of his teenage years. “so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too? she thinks it's special, but it's all reused. that was our place, i found it first” olivia’s music isn’t the type of music he normally listens to, but after hearing students (the poets) talk about her album, during his class, he decided he’d give it a try. he likes it. he loves the lyrics, mostly.

good 4 u: CHARLIE. he loves screaming the lyrics to this song. especially the bridge and the last chorus. “LIKE A DAMN SOCIOPATH!” cameron has to beg him to turn the volume down,, he doesn’t listen to him, obviously, and instead turns the volume up. his argument? ‘this song is meant to be played loud!’ to which cameron responds ‘but not that loud! i’m trying to study!’ he thinks looking at his roommate directly in the eye when singing “baby, what the fuck is up with that?” exactly the way olivia does is funny. cameron just rolls his eyes every time, but it’s hard for him to hide the smile taking place on his lips.

enough for you: pitts. although he and stev/phen are both super, super smart, i think meeks is the ‘genius’ of the group. and that, can, sometimes, make pitts feel like he might not be good enough for his boyfriend, whom he loves very much. “and i knew how you took your coffee, and your favorite songs by heart. i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that i was smart” whenever he doubts himself, meeks is the first to reassure him and tell him he’s more than enough, but still.. “'cause all i ever wanted was to be enough for you” he listens to this song with his earphones, always, so no one knows he listens to it on repeat.

happier: meeks. ever since charlie got expelled, he can’t stop listening to this song. these two were pretty close, (“he flatters me, that’s why i help him with latin”) and stev/phen doesn’t like thinking about his friend being in a new school, and spending time with other people. “so find someone great but don't find no one better. i hope you're happy, but don't be happier” he wishes charlie would still be with them, at welton, even if he hated it. “your friends aren't mine, you know, i know. you’ve moved on, found someone new” or “does she mean you forgot about me?” he’s being a bit overdramatic, considering charlie comes to see the poets at least once a week, and still attends the dps meetings.. but anyway.

jealousy, jealousy: cameron, because, yes, he’s smart and everything, but he’s still jealous of other people, and wishes he were different. he thinks he should be like the other guys. “all i see, is what i should be, happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy” he also thinks that, maybe then, people would like him more </3. he knows no one really hates him, but feels like no one really likes him, either. and in his opinion, it’s because he’s.. him. “I'm so sick of myself, i’d rather be, rather be, anyone, anyone else” just like mr. k, this type of music isn’t what he usually listens to, but he relates to this song so much, he can’t help but listen to it at least once a day.

favorite crime: neil. just like todd, he doesn’t associate this song with a relationship he had in the past. actually, he thinks of his father (and his mom, a bit, too) and all of the things his dad forces him to do, even if it upsets him. “those things i did, just so i could call you mine. the things you did, well, i hope i was your favorite crime” i know we don’t usually talk about the canon ending, but i have to. mr. perry didn’t want his son to pursue his dreams, and planned neil’s life for him, which made him feel so miserable, he sadly committed su*c*de.. but then, his dad wasn’t blamed for it, to preserve his reputation. “and i watched as you fled the scene, doe-eyed as you buried me, one heart broke, four hands bloody” todd knows this was neil’s favorite song. he listens to it once in a while, in their room, alone, and cries.

hope ur ok: all of them. do they know how proud i am they were created? after all they’ve been through, especially their family problems, i’m glad they found each other. “she was tired 'cause she was brought into a world where family was merely blood” and even when life throws bad things at them, they always stay strong, and support each other through everything. they’re very brave. “well, i hope you know how proud i am you were created, with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred” i love them, my beautiful poets <33

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stormyoceansmain · 3 years

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[im very much NOT a writer - i cannot stress this enough - but i truly mean it when i say sambucky is making me go insane. i find no other explanation for ending up writing 3.8k words of sambucky, alpine, and movie night. thank you if you decide to read this, i hope it's not too terrible]

Sam shows up at Bucky’s place for movie night with a case full of beers and ten minutes to spare.

Sarah makes fun of him for this Friday tradition they’ve been carrying out for the past few months, says he should just muster the courage to ask Bucky out on a proper date already. It doesn't matter how many times Sam told her he is just helping Bucky catch up to the 21st century, she always ends up giving him that Look that says she's not believing any words coming out of his mouth, which is kind of unfair, if you ask Sam.

Well, fine, maybe Sarah is right. Maybe Sam does want to take Bucky out on an actual date and hold his hand and kiss him goodnight and do all those sickeningly romantic stuff he used to daydream about when he was 16. Turns out former assassins who are incredibly annoying but also surprisingly kind are very much Sam's type. Go figure.

Still, they worked hard to reach the kind of friendship they currently have, and Sam doesn't want to lose that. He's also not blind to the way Bucky flirts with Sarah, and despite her insistence that Bucky does it more to rile Sam up than for any real interest in her, he’s not about to risk it all on a whim.

This resolution almost crumbles into dust a moment later, when Bucky opens the door wearing sweatpants and a blue shirt that matches his eyes. He is barefoot and his hair is getting longer, losing the harsh edges of the cut and curling slightly behind his ears. He is still all chiseled jawline and defined muscles, but he looks softer, more comfortable in his own skin, and the easy way he smiles at Sam makes a heavy warmth pool around Sam’s stomach.

“Hey,” Bucky greets him, sliding his metal arm around Sam's shoulders to pull him into a brief hug.

This, too, is something of a novelty. There's always been a sort of intense physicality about Bucky, both in how he carries himself and in how he is always aware of the bodies moving around him, but the casual affection, the playful abandon with which he touches and lets others touch him these days, feels like a wonder. Sam would have never expected it, and he had come to love and hate it at the same time.

“Hey yourself,” Sam greets back, splaying his free hand across Bucky's back, allowing himself to hold him there and breathe him in for a second, a fresh lemony smell coming off his hair, before giving him a quick pat on the shoulder and putting a respectable amount of space between them.

He buries his hands deep into the pocket of his jacket and follows Bucky inside, trying to resist the urge to slide his fingers under the hem of Bucky's shirt and feel the warm skin underneath it.

It's the first time Sam steps into Bucky’s apartment since Bucky took home the stray kitten he found on the side of the road three weeks ago, and the changes around it are staggering. Sam was used to empty spaces and few, essential furniture, but now the space in front of the window is occupied by a giant cat tower, and lots of smaller scratching posts are scattered all over the living room, along with different kinds of cat beds and toys.

“I see you redecorated,” Sam says with a grin.

Bucky shrugs, opening two of the beer bottles with a quick twist of his metal hand. “Cats need stuff.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I'm glad.” Sam grabs one of the bottle and clinks it against Bucky's. “Pets are great company and the place looks much better like this. I wouldn't have pinned you down as the crazy cat lady type, but it's always better than Robocop.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, takes a sip of his beer. Sam catches the smile he is trying to hide anyway.

Sam knocks their shoulders together, asks, “So where is she?”

“Hiding, probably,” Bucky says, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “She doesn't like strangers.”

Sam stops with the beer halfway to his mouth. “Excuse you,” he exclaims, outraged. “I very clearly remember accompanying you to the vet the first time you brought her in. I also sacrificed two of my shirts for her and have scars on my forearms where she scratched me to death. I think I deserve more than being considered a stranger. We basically co-parented that cat for the first few days!”

“That's nice,” Bucky deadpans. “Why don't you go tell her that? I'm sure the speech will convince her to keep the claws to herself.”

Sam glares at him and Bucky pats him on the arm. “Just relax,” he adds, turning to open the fridge and taking foods out for dinner. “If we let her be, Alpine will come out eventually.”

Bucky is right, of course. Sam had a few experiences with strays growing up, cats and dogs alike looking for shelter from Louisiana's storms under their porch, and no amount of treats he and Sarah tried to give them had been able to lure them out from their hiding spot. The best course of action in these cases was to wait, letting them come out when they felt safe enough.

It still weirdly feels like a rejection of some sort, but he tries not to let it show.

Sam takes a swig from his beer and asks, “Alpine?”

Bucky turns on the stove and shrugs again. He remains silent for a moment, a distant look on his face that Sam has learned to associate to memories better buried and forgotten. He is about to start telling Bucky about the science fair at the boys' school to change the subject, when Bucky speaks again, low and careful.

“She reminds me of the snow on the Alps.”

He doesn't elaborate on that, but Sam nods anyway, like he understands. He doesn't, like Bucky will never be able to fully understand what it means for Sam to carry the shield, but it's okay. They have each other, and that's still something.

Sam taps his foot against Bucky's bare one, watches Bucky's entire being exhale and relax. “Couldn't you have named her Snowflakes or something like that?”

Bucky levels him with a stare that tells him he would rather jump off another plane rather than calling his cat ‘Snowflakes’, and Sam laughs.

The far off look in Bucky’s eyes melts away and they fall into an easy rhythm, Sam sitting at the kitchen table and talking about some renovations he and Sarah would like to do to the house, Bucky cutting the vegetables to sauté.

They have moved on to argue about the best way to season chicken breasts – you cannot leave cayenne pepper out of the spice blend – when Sam catches a flash of white out of the corner of his eyes, and interrupts himself mid-rant.

A second later, Alpine jumps on the kitchen counter, sniffing the air.

It's been only three weeks since Sam last saw her, but she's already grown a lot, and looks much better too: her fur is shiny and clean, her eyes bright, and the slight sprain that caused her to limp around seems to be completely healed.

Alpine lets out a soft chirping sound and headbutts Bucky's arm, rubbing her head against him.

The smile Bucky turns to her is blinding, and Sam has to look away before he ends up doing something stupid, like climb over the table and kiss him.

“I know you're here for the chicken,” Bucky tells her, scratching her behind the ears. “But you can't eat this one.”

He scoops her up with a single hand, ignoring the disapproving meow that follows, and deposits her on the table right next to Sam's arm. Sam freezes, unprepared for the sudden proximity and recalling how quickly she can turn around and scratch, but as soon as Bucky's hand retreats, she is moving away, giving Sam a wide berth. She doesn't go back into hiding, though, just settles on the corner farther away from him and stares him down in a way that reminds him so much of Bucky, Sam doesn't know if he wants to laugh or cry.

He is also struck by the sudden need to make Alpine like him.

“Is she gonna maul me if I try to give her a treat?” Sam asks.

Bucky tilts his head, considering, which does very little to reassure Sam about the safety of his fingers.

“I wouldn’t try hand-feeding her,” Bucky answers, fishing out a bag of treats from one of the cupboards. “But she likes to chase them.”

Alpine observes with quiet intensity as Bucky dumps a few treats into Sam's hands, and when Sam tosses one a few feet away she jumps down the table and runs after it, grabs it with a paw.

“Alright,” Sam declares, “that's pretty cute.”

Sam spends the next few minutes throwing treats at Alpine, inching them closer and closer to himself to test how willing she is to get near him with the proper incentive. The last one he places right in front of his feet, then he sits back and waits. Alpine hesitates, eyes flitting between him and the treat as to evaluate if it's safe enough, until finally she starts to move, slowly, slowly. She gets close enough to stretch her paw out, pull the treat towards herself and take it out of reach to eat somewhere else. Sam still takes it as a win.

Bucky clears his throat and announces that dinner is ready, so Sam leaves Alpine alone and helps him set the table.

Dinner is nice. Bucky makes a glazed chicken with honey and garlic that it's to die for, which Sam finds utterly unfair, considering he comes from a time where spices were believed to be a menace to the public.

He still goes back for seconds, and by the time they move to the living room to watch the movie, Sam feels full and content.

He finds Alpine curled up on one end of the couch, and while he believes they made some progress in their relationship, he doesn’t think either of them is ready to bring it to the next level, so he takes the seat on the other side, careful not to disturb her.

Bucky doesn’t say anything about it, just flops down between Sam and the cat with ease, his knee bumping into Sam’s.

This week they are watching the second movie in The Hobbit trilogy, if only for the horrified look in Bucky’s face when Sam told him that not only they made a movie out of the book, but that they actually managed to stretch it into three. Bucky, it turns out, is one of those people who notices every little changes from the original material, disapproves of them on principle, and is very vocal about his displeasure, exactly like the old man he actually is.

Sam had almost fell off the couch laughing during the first movie, and it had taken him a while to convince Bucky to give the other two a chance. Maybe it was a little assholey of him, knowing that it only gets worse, but just because he likes the guy it doesn’t mean Sam doesn’t want to subject him to some bad cinema for his own entertainment. After all, that’s what friends are for.

It doesn't take long for the comments to start up again. Bucky holds up for thirty minutes, rolling his eyes and grumbling under his breath from time to time, but then Legolas and Tauriel show up and Bucky turns his head to look at Sam, face completely blank, says, “Who the fuck are these people.”

Sam bursts out laughing, and it only gets worse when they reach the scene between Kili and Tauriel in the Woodland Realm: Bucky throws his hands up, exclaims, “Oh, come on,” and starts complaining about how they made the dwarf hot just to add a romance. It has Sam in stitches, and he has to grab onto Bucky's shoulder to stay upright and not end up falling into Bucky's lap.

The tirade ends with Bucky sulking and shaking his head, and Sam is glad for the temporary reprieve just so he can catch his breath. He feels flushed and warm, cheeks hurting from smiling, and the quiet is comfortable, familiar.

After a while, his eyes grow heavy, and he realizes he nodded off only when a light weight sets on his shoulder, jerking him awake.

The movie has ended, screen back on the Netflix title page, and Bucky fell asleep as well, head drooping until it had come to rest against Sam’s body.

The metal arm is glinting gold and blue in the light, and Sam stares down at it, then up at the lines of Bucky’s face, the soft waves of his hair. It always surprises him how vulnerable Bucky looks like this, how younger, and it’s so hard to remember there was a time Sam had actually been scared of him, of what he could do. Now, he would trust Bucky with anything. His life, his family, his home. His heart, too, if Bucky ever wanted it.

Sam knows he should wake him up, send him to bed so he can sleep comfortably there while Sam stretches out on the couch, but he also knows that Bucky still has trouble sleeping sometimes, and Sam doesn't have the heart to wake him up if it isn't really necessary. He’s well aware it's also a little bit selfish, because it's nice, having Bucky this close, warm and solid and smelling of lemon.

Sam takes a deep breath and rests his head on top of Bucky's. He thought he could handle this thing he has for Bucky, keep it under control, but he’s starting to realize he might have actually underestimated the size of his own feelings, which could become a serious problem in the future.

For now, though, Sam closes his eyes and lets himself have this.

The next time Sam wakes up, it's to something walking all over him. He blinks against the sudden light and when his vision clears, he finds Alpine sitting on his lap.

Sam stares at her, wondering for a moment if he is still asleep and dreaming all of this up, but his neck is sore, his arm heavy from Bucky resting against it in his sleep; there’s the beginning of a headache pulsing behind is eyes, and a pressure in his bladder telling him he should probably get up.

Alpine sniffs at his shirt and Sam tentatively raises his free hand, strokes a finger between her ears. She leans into the touch, head tilting up and guiding Sam's hand under her chin. Sam tries really hard not to shriek with delight.

“Oh, you're a sweetheart,” he says, a grin spreading out across his face. “Just like your owner. All tough and fierce on the outside, but adorable and charming on the inside.”

Alpine meows back at him, like she agrees with that statement, and Sam tenses up, glances at the steady rise and fall of Bucky's chest.

“We gotta be quiet,” he tells Alpine, petting her down her side. “We don't want to wake him up.”

“I'm already awake,” comes Bucky's voice next to him.

Sam's entire body jerks in surprise, and Alpine leaps off him, startled.

“Man, don't you do that ever again,” Sam says, a hand placed over his chest. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Bucky hums, sounding way more amused than he has any right to be, and sits up.

Blood rushes back into Sam's arm, and while Sam is glad to start feeling it again, he's already mourning the loss of contact between them. Except Bucky doesn't go far, just adjusts his position to angle his body towards Sam and rest his head on the back of the couch. It's easier to look at each other, like this, but they are now so close that Bucky's soft breaths are hitting the exposed line of skin above Sam's shirt, the hollow of his neck, making him shiver.

“So,” Bucky says, dragging the word out, lips tilting up at the corner. “I'm adorable and charming?”

Shit.

Of course Bucky would hear that, that's just Sam's luck. God, he is never going to speak again. He will take a vow of silence like in one of those monastic orders and move some place far and secluded where he won't be able to embarrass himself anymore.

He swallows, makes himself let out a laugh. It's meant to be mocking, but it sounds more nervous than anything else. “I think old age is making you hear things,” Sam still tries to deflect, “I clearly said annoying and self-centered.”

Bucky jabs him in the side with a metal finger. “Nice try, Samuel,” Bucky says, grinning widely. “But I've been told I'm a sweetheart.”

Sam's cheeks heat up. “I was talking about Alpine!”

He wonders if maybe T'Challa would let him hide in Wakanda for a while, just long enough for Sam to regain some kind of dignity. He hopes against all hopes that Bucky will have mercy of him and drop the subject, but of course Bucky doesn't. Sam wouldn't either, if their roles were switched.

“You said she is like her owner,” Bucky points pout, eyes bright and so very blue. He pokes Sam in the ribs again. “Which means, you think I’m a sweetheart, too.”

Sam bats his hand away. He may have embarrassed himself and he's lucky if he ends up this night without Bucky realizing Sam has feelings for him, but he is Captain frigging America. If he has to go down, he will go down fighting.

“What you are, it’s a nuisance,” Sam says. “And a creep. Who the hell pretends to be asleep when they are actually awake?”

“I wasn't pretending, you just assumed I was still sleeping.”

“Anyone would assume that, if you don't say anything.”

“I thought you were going to move as soon as you woke up, it's not my fault you didn't.”

“I was trapped between your heavy ass and your cat. What's your excuse for not moving?”

The argument comes to a halt, an awkward silence stretching between them as Bucky lowers his eyes, scratches the back of his neck. He clears his throat, shrugs.

“Your shoulder is nice,” he says in the end.

It's Bucky's turn to blush, a darker pink dusting his cheeks, and Sam feels like he missed something important.

“My shoulder?” Sam repeats.

Bucky doesn't answer him for a moment, then he straightens up on the couch, rolls back his shoulders like he is bracing himself. He looks up at Sam, and all Sam can see are his eyes.

“It’s comfortable,” Bucky whispers. “And I always sleep better when you’re around.”

Sam's mouth is suddenly very dry, and his heart is drumming against his chest in a way he has come to associate with diving down in midair, or dropping from a high place before his wings open up. This, too, feels a little like falling.

“Buck,” Sam says, because he thinks they are on the verge of something here, but he needs to be sure, doesn't want to mess this up and do something he's going to regret just because his head wants so desperately to see what's not actually there. “You gotta tell me if I'm reading this wro--”

Bucky kisses him.

It's a short kiss, just a soft press of Bucky's lips against his own and he's already gone, moving back to look at Sam with wide eyes, face open and vulnerable.

“Okay?” Bucky asks, and if he didn't sound so uncertain, like he's expecting Sam to push him away at any moment, Sam would laugh at how much of an idiot they both are.

Instead, he holds Bucky's chin between his fingers and pulls him back in. The kiss is deeper this time, turns into a wet slide of tongues and a harsh grate of stubble that makes Sam's insides feel tangled and hot. Bucky's arm slides around Sam's waist, and Sam moves his hand from Bucky's chin into his hair, grips it in a way that makes Bucky exhale sharply into his mouth. Sam wants to touch him everywhere, and he moves his free hand to do just that when a long, loud meow interrupts them.

They break apart just in time for Alpine to jump on the couch and sprawl in the space between them.

Bucky huffs out a small laugh, pets her from head to tail. He looks lovely, with his hair sticking up in odd places from Sam's fingers raking through it, his lips red from kissing, and Sam itches to go back for more, to lay him down and map every single part of Bucky's body with his mouth. He has, however, a horrible feeling about this.

“We will never be able to do anything with her around, won't we?” Sam asks, voicing his thoughts out loud.

Bucky sends him an amused smile. “Someone feels confident.”

Sam rolls his eyes, bumps their knees together. “Says the one who was about to climb on top of me.”

He's pretty sure he was the one grabbing and pulling Bucky closer, actually, but it doesn't seem like Bucky is going to call him out on it.

“It was a good kiss,” Bucky says, smile going soft at the edges, turning shyer.

“It really was,” Sam agrees, and because Sarah is always right, even if he'll never admit it in front of her, he adds, “Wanna go out on a proper dinner, see a movie? Maybe do the kissing part again?”

He's not expecting the way Bucky's lips drop down at those words, and Sam's heart sinks. Maybe he did read this wrong, after all. Maybe Bucky wanted to keep things casual, no string attached, and Sam just ruined everything. He tries to tell himself it was better to know that now, before things got too serious on his side, but it gives him very little comfort.

Bucky takes a deep breath, lets it out in a huff. “I don’t know, man,” he says. “If you make me watch another one of these godawful movies I’m afraid I'm gonna have to break up with you before this relationship even starts.”

Sam blinks at him, then bursts out laughing, sudden and loud. “God, you're an asshole,” he declares, but there's no heat behind it, and when he searches for Bucky's hand, Bucky intertwines their fingers together, places a kiss on the back of Sam's hand as an apology.

“I’m lucky you have terrible tastes, then,” Bucky says.

Sam really has questionable tastes, and if you had told him a few years ago that this was how his life was going to turn out, he would have probably laughed, or worse, tried to stop it from happening. But now, sitting there with Bucky grinning at him and Alpine purring between them, he feels lucky too.

#i don't have a solid enough grasp on the english language for any of this and yet here we are #you can easily spot where i didn't know what the hell i was doing #when i say im literally losing my mind over these two..#most self indulgent thing i've ever done im sorry for subjecting you to it #sambucky #winterfalcon #sam wilson #bucky barnes #alpine #also - embarrassingly enough - i started to write this before the video of bucky saying he wanted to move in with sam #otherwise i would have made them roommate

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atalho-s · 3 years

Text

Sweet Sugar

4 | Crosses

pairing: tom holland x reader

warnings: swear words, underage drinking (not much tho, nothing descritive and nothing like “Skins” lmao), suggestive scenes in some chapters, not smut!! but minors be aware. Fluff/angst/drama/ Y/n and Tom being stupid teenagers with feelings.

words: 2.5 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, Sorry for any mistakes! If you want to be tag on the next chapters, please let me know

Summary: Y/n, Harrison and Tom has always been best friends. Since childhood they’ve always been close, but what happens if after a break up with her first boyfriend, she starts to feel something more about Tom

PART 4! If you want to read the other parts click here

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I woke up the other day feeling a little better, which was good. I washed my face thoroughly, put on a pair of jeans, a Beatles T-shirt along with a jacket and left my room, ready for another week of torture.

- Good morning mom... - I was saying going down the stairs, but I remembered that she had already left for work. Which was good, because that way I didn't have to talk about the party.

I had my coffee, in the silenc and soon after opened my phone, until I got on Instagram and saw that Tom had posted pictures of the party. The caption said: Thank you all! you guys are awesome! The photos from the party were great 😂

I was scrolling the photos, the first ones were all of us at the table, some were blurry of the people dancing... until I saw one of him with other people from school: Meghan was hugged him from the side making the peace sign with her fingers and he was kissing the top of her head. I sighed feeling my eyes fill with tears again. Okay, maybe I wasn't as ok as I thought.

I blocked my phone and put it in my pocket, taking my backpack and leaving the house, otherwise I would going to be late. I had to focus on school, not crying for silly things, I had to pay attention in my tests, that was more important than anything.

I went down the street and found Haz already waiting for me in the same place, I approached him and when he looked at my face, he made a pitying one.

- You saw the photos didn't you? - he asked and I nodded as he hugged me.

- It's alright Haz, I'll be fine- I said releasing him after a few seconds and he looked at me raising an eyebrow doubtingly - It's no big deal! By the way, I won't talk about it anymore, if we don't go now, we'll be late for school. - I said pulling him and we started walking.

- Okay... But just to close this subject, Tom sent me a message yesterday asking if you were okay and if there was anything wrong because you left early without saying goodbye.

- Hmm, and you didn't say anything right?

- Of course not! I just said that you weren't very used to drinking and that was all, and he believed... - Haz said and I breathed a sigh of relief.

- Good... He also texted me yesterday, he even wanted me to go to his house to tell me about Meghan.

- Well, whether way, he still thinks he's your best friend, nothing more than that...- Haz said, and I hated that he was right.

- It's true, and he's just my best friend, nothing more... - I emphasized the JUST- Did he tell you anything else about Meghan? - I asked and when Haz was going to answer I cut him - Never mind, It’s better if i don’t know. - I said waving my hand in the air.

- If you want it that way... - he replied. - Oh god you two have the same class today right? - he asked and I put my hand in my forehead. I had forgotten that I had English today for the first two classes and Tom would be sitting right next to me.

- I had even forgotten about that. But you know what? I'm going to stay there like a champ and ignore everything. - I said determined and Haz laughed feeling a little sad for me.

- Okay, I support that, but...- he was talking and I cut him again saying: shhh.

- No buts, and now enough of this subject, because we're already arriving. - I said and he rolled his eyes in agreement.

We arrived at the corner and Tom was already waiting for us as usual. He wore a blue sweatshirt and a backwards cap, black jeans and white sneakers. Obviously he was gorgeous as usual, which was ridiculous, but no sign of Meghan, which was good for now...

I tightened my grip on Haz's arm that I was hooked on and he smiled encouragingly. We got closer and Tom looked up from his phone, hanging up and putting it in his pocket.

- Hey strangers! - He said putting the backpack on his back, shaking hands with Haz and me with the usual kiss on the forehead. I lowered my eyes, smelling his scent and smirked. - You better y/n?

- I am, staying in bed all day yesterday did me good. - I said as we headed towards the stairs.

- That's good! And even better that now you have two classes with me- he said winking and Haz looked at me apprehensively.

- HA-HA, very funny. Too bad I'll have to pay attention in class and I won't be able to talk to you. - I said shrugging and Tom looked at me with an ironic face.

- Wow shortie, I felt rejected now. - He said pouting and I rolled my eyes. Of rejection I knew well.

- Well, I have to go because I have a presentation about geography, so, see you guys later? - Haz said when we arrived in the hallway, waving and looking at me discreetly as if he was saying: good luck.

- Let's go, grumpy face? - Tom said pointed for me to go ahead. I rolled my eyes looking at him, which he laughed and we went to the class.

I sat a little further back in my usual seat and Tom sat behind me. I was feeling claustrophobic, but it was only two classes, I could survive this. But when Mr. Ribbs came into the room and started talking, I lost all courage i had.

- Good morning students! Today the two classes will be more dynamic. As I know you had a difficult week, with so many papers and tests, I decided to leave these classes for you to go to the library and pick up any book to read and then give me a summary about it. - he was talking and I was excited, because I loved reading and I could still get my book and be quiet without having to talk to Tom, right? - But... I want you to do this in pairs. - wrong - Happy reading! - He said and everyone stood up forming their pairs and leaving the room one by one.

I felt someone nudge my shoulder and tooking a deep breath I turned around, seeing a smiling Tom.

- Good, reading... At least you like to read, because I with my dyslexia... - he laughed.

- Yeah good... it fit like a glove... Shall we go? - I said and we got up going towards the library. If Tom thought my way of talking was a little dry, he didn't react, which was good.

We arrived at the library and I was looking among the shelves for something easy and good for us to read.

- Y/n, darling... I have to tell you about yesterday - Tom started talking excitedly as he followed me through the halls. - After you and Haz left, a lot things happened...

- Hmm, I'm glad you had fun Tom. - I said a little disinterested picking up some books and looking at the synopsis.

- Yea! I had a lot of fun, but what happened was...

- Hey, how about we read Pride and Prejudice? It's one of my favorites, I think it's a good one, because we just need to read the main parts to refresh our memory. - I said, interrupting him.

-Yeah... Sure, I think it's a good one. - he said as I grabbed Jane Austen's book off the shelf and headed toward one of the tables.

- Shortie, how about if we read this outside? I think it's better than staying here, besides, we can talk better. - Tom said and I stopped turning around. Damn it, I was counting on staying there in the library anyway, so he wouldn't be able to say anything about the night before, because they were going to tell him to be quiet.

- Okay, good idea... - I said, giving up on to try to inventing another excuse.

We left the library and headed towards some tables outside. They were empty, except for a couple of couples scattered around the yard who had the same idea. I sat down and Tom sat next to me putting the book on the table and pulling out his notebook so we could write something down.

- So, as I was saying... We were on the dance floor, right, and Meghan and I were talking about the theater and other things, until... Guess what? - He started talking and I raised my eyebrow, while trying to distract myself with the book. - She said she thought I was cute and that I had a cute, sexy look. - He continued and I laughed ironically.

- So far so good, right... Until she just kissed me in the middle of the dance floor! - He said as if it were the most extraordinary thing in the world. Yeah, I thought with myself, I was there and saw everything, that's why I'm feeling bad and I can't even look at your face right now... I wanted to say it, but I just looked at him pretending to be interested.

- And mate, it was the best kiss of my life! We stayed together practically all night... Damn, I've dreamed about this so much since childhood...

- Good Tom, it must have been a really good birthday gift, right? - I said, looking at the book again.

- Yea! It was perfect...- he said and I could feel him staring at me. - Hey, you don't seem very excited about my little conquest... - he nudged me pouting and I looked at him.

- Nah, it's just that you guys are always hooking up lately, so I'm just not surprised...- I replied shrugging.

- Y/n Meghan is not just a hook up, she is an old passion, she is special - he said and I felt my heart ache a little while looking away. - You dont like her?

- It's not that I don't like her... I don't even know her, I just... I think she did it after you started getting more popular with the theater, because before that she didn't even look at you...

- That's not true, besides, people can change right? Maybe she realized that I'm not as bad as she thought before... I don't know... But as you said, you don't even know her, so I didn't understand you being mad like that. -he said scribbling in his notebook.

- It's not that I'm mad, I just... I didn't wake up very well today, that's all...

- Yeah... But you don't need to project that to others around you, I thought you'd be happy for me.- Tom said and I looked at him ironically.

- Yeah, but there are days when we're not okay Thomas and not in the mood to be throwing confetti at every girl your friend kiss at some party. - I said and regretted it right away, it wasn't fair to him.

Tom looked at me in surprise, as I had never talk with him like that. Even as kids we didn't fight, why was I being such a bitch now? He took his things in silence and walked away leaving me with tears in my eyes.

I shook my head trying to get rid of what had just happened. I picked up the book and tried to read it, but I couldn't even get past the first line. Damn, why did I have to have those feelings? It wasn't fair.

I thought about going after Tom and apologizing, but I don't think he wanted to see me right now. A few minutes passed and the class was almost finishing when I felt someone nudge my shoulder. I turned in hopes of seeing Tom, but was surprised to see Steven standing up in front of me.

- Are you okay? I heard you fighting with Tom earlier, I never saw you guys fight like that, so I was worried. - he asked.

- I'm fine Stev, it was just a silly disagreement, nothing to worry about. Are you okay? - I asked trying to change the subject.

- Yeah, just studying a lot, you know, I have to go to business school. - he said and I agreed. Steven always wanted to work at his father's company, but for that he had to go to business school in Japan, because there was one of the company's units there and that's where his father wanted him to live. A lot of his family was Japanese, so he had an advantage with the language and culture. But that was one of the reasons we broke up, after fighting a lot about who was going to live where. - And you still focused on journalism?

- Of course, forever and always. - I said and we laughed, hearing the bell saying the class are over.

- Well, I have to go, I have to meet Elle, good luck with your essay. - He said pointing to the book.

- For you too. - I said smiling and he left towards the building.

I got up to get my things, scanning the yard with my eyes, but there was no sign of Tom. I sighed and put my headphones on, heading towards our tree. As I was already out there I ended up arriving first, so I sat down and played the song Crosses by José González.

I waited a few minutes and saw Haz approaching and I took off my headphones as I watched him sit beside me.

- So..How everything went? Where is Tom?- he asked looking around.

- A disaster... - I said, rubbing my hands over my face. - We ended up arguing, I said some things without thinking and he left without saying anything.

- Oh y/n... I don't even know what to say, but did you confess something to him? he asked and I widened my eyes.

- No! Are you crazy? I told him I didn't trust Meghan, but in a rude way... - I said and Haz took a deep breath hugging me sideways.

- Well, you can't control your feelings...

- But I can control my tongue. - I said and we laughed a little. - How was it with Gracie? Did you guys talked today? - I said changing the subject.

- I talked to her a lot by text during class, I even asked her if she wanted to spend some time with us now, but she said she had to hang with her friends...

- Hmm. - I said putting my hand on my chin losing myself in thoughts as I watched the patio to see if I could see Tom. And after a lot of looking I found him. And there he was sitting on one of the benches near the building with Meghan hugging him, she with his cap on her head and the two of them were laughing and talking excitedly to each other. Until he gave her a kiss and she reciprocated.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland friends to lovers #tom holland series

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sunflovverharry · 3 years

Text

Friends with Benefits - Chapter 2

a/n: I’m back with a new chapter of my fwb series and it hasn’t been proofread, but I wanted to get it out for you as it’s been two weeks since I posted the first one. As always, I hope you like this chapter and please reblog or message me if you do, enjoy! <33 To read the first chapter, click here

Pairing: police officer!h + Alex

Word count: 7k

Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption, nsfw content

Three weeks later, my group of friends and I were yet again sitting in a booth at the club we went to last time. They’ve been out once after last time, but I had to sit that one out because of work. I had basically taken over the vice-headteacher role as she had quit out of nowhere and we have noone to replace her before the end of the school year. It’s a fucking pain in my ass but the headteacher didn’t really give me a choice as she flinged all the papers and what not I had to go through while also doing my job as a counsellor.

Tonight I was ready to forget all about work and students as I chugged the rest of my pint, ready to feel the effects of the alcohol running through my blood. I downed a shot of whatever Jake had ordered for us before dragging Charlie with me to the dance floor already stuffed full of drunk young adults much like myself. I’m not much of a dancer no matter how much alcohol I have consumed, but today I felt like I needed to shake off some steam and the only way I knew how right now was to get dancing.

Walking to the dance floor, I started feeling the groove as my body began to move to the hip hop coming out through the speakers all over the club. I pulled Charlie behind me before coming to a stop near the middle of everyone, shaking my hips to the beat. Never having liked hip hop, I was glad the alcohol I’d consumed made me forget about actually listening to the music, only interested in going back to my teen years and dancing like I had no care in the world. Grinding my ass on Charlie, throwing my hands up in the air I was feeling myself and everything about this week was quickly showed to the back of my head and forgotten. Charlies hands were on my hips, no doubt making everyone around who were still clear in their heads think we were either a couple or hooking up tonight. This wasn’t the first time we’ve danced like this, having known him since my early teens and instantly became good friends so I have no plans of ever hooking up with him.

Not much later, most of our friends had joined us on the floor. We moved between each other, dancing with everyone before they decided to make a circle. That’s when I went back to our booth. My days where standing in a circle on the dance floor was cool, were over a long time ago.

Sinking back into one of the leather booth sofas, I found my phone in my purse slung over my shoulder. There were a couple of notifications from friends having sent snapchats of their nights and a message from my mum from earlier in the night I didn’t even bother to read. Checking the time before putting the phone back in my purse, I made my way to the toilets. There wasn’t much of a line thankfully so I walked straight into a cubicle with an open door, locking it behind me. I could feel the effects of the intoxicating liquors I’d consumed since starting this evening. My head was spinning, but not enough for me to feel sick, yet anyways. I left the cubicle to wash my hands and fix the layer of makeup I’d put on. My eyes were blurring the matching picture of myself in the mirror, making me squint to see if I was doing my lipstick right.

Smacking my lips together and putting the lid on the lipstick, I could hear the door to the bathroom open, the sound of the music louder in the few seconds before it flung shut again. I wasn’t looking at who came in as I was putting the lipstick back into my purse. Hearing the clearing of a throat not too far from me made me look up at whoever made a sound of wanting my attention, presumably one of my friends wondering why I left them out there.

My eyes flung up to meet the same green eyes I’d met at the bar three weeks ago. The same eyes I’d stared into as his lips moved when he spoke. The same eyes I watched as he came inside me. The same eyes I apologetically left early the next morning. The same eyes I’d dreamt about ever since that night. Who wouldn’t dream about them? They are magnificent.

“Fancy seeing you here.” I’m sure my jaw was still hanging in shock of seeing him again. I hadn’t expected having another interaction with him, not that I’m disappointed in the slightest.

I let out a chuckle, his smirk still glued onto his lips, just like when he was standing opposite me leaning onto his kitchen counters three weeks ago. The sight of him and the memories of last, or first should I say, time we met already made my clit throb. I’d get something more to imagine when I’m touching myself - only being able to get off to the thought of Harry since that night. Pure lust and want is flowing through my body as I continue looking up at him wondering why he’s at this club again, remembering how he had told me he wasn’t a regular here.

“You look gorgeous, pet.” Harry’s eyes glided down my body to take me in from top to toe. I didn’t feel intimidated under his eyes at all, but that might be because of the alcohol or the fact that there was a smug smile on his lips for the duration of his glance.

“I must say I’m disappointed that you’re not in your police uniform, but I guess you look good, too, officer.” I could see the gears turning in his head as he heard the nickname. He’s got to be called officer at least a hundred times a day, but not in a sultry, seductive tone like I said it in.

There was a moment of silence between us as we held each others eyes. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes only visible in a certain light though. Still handsome as hell. I’m sure he’d look fine no matter what.

Finally Harry pushed a single curl that fell down back and exhaled a long breath as if he’d been holding it in for the time we were stood there.

“And you’re still bold as ever, huh?” He closed the distance between us in a couple of strides, his long legs moving his body swiftly. A pair of black jeans were tight against his muscular thighs while his upper body was adorned by a colourful t-shirt with some saying I couldn’t focus on. The man looked just as handsome as the last time I’d seen him. I’d even go as far as to call him cute when he gets that dimpled smile decorating his cheeks. Saying it turned me on was an understatement, my knickers getting wetter as the moment passed.

Having the liquid courage, I made a quick decision to answer his question by moving my hand from my side to run my index finger around his lips with a snicker, “You bet.” Only having a brief time spent with him sober that Saturday morning, he knows me as bold and confident - which isn’t necessarily how I am in the confinement of my own home and company.

Harry’s eyes were frantic as he looked from my finger as I traced his lips to my own eyes looking at his lips. It took him a few seconds to collect himself. One of his perfectly calloused hands gripped my wrist, his eyes on mine as he lowered it and took a hold of my neck with his free hand. I looked up at him with curious eyes wondering what he was planning on doing to me, silently hoping for a repeat of what happened three weeks ago.

It appeared he was going back and forth with himself about if he should move away or close the small gap between us. I waited for him to make up his mind, not wanting him to pull away but not doing anything to keep him closer. Maybe he was searching for consent before doing anything more than holding me in place, not wanting anything to jeopardize his career. I still hadn’t moved away or made any sign of being uncomfortable in his hold.

Suddenly he tightened his hold on my neck and pulled me in and smacked our lips together in a long and shamelessly urgent kiss. His lips felt just as nice and full against mine as last time. The softness to them was delicious, the stubble around his lips going down his jaw making the juxtaposition incredible. Only feeling his lips made my head swim in thoughts about how I want to feel him do the same thing to my pussy lips - so what will tasting the inside of his mouth make me think?

Harry bit my lip, pulling it back with him as he moved back a bit before it smacked back against my teeth. He didn’t waste time and went tongue first as he chased my own letting out a slight growl as we fought for dominance. The sound made me smile against his lips loving that I made him feel good by only kissing.

He tasted like tequila and lime, the sour taste being a bit overwhelming but I wasn’t bothered as he sucked my upper lip in between his lips before diving in again. It was wet and sloppy, but exactly what we needed in the moment. His lips were imperfectly perfect against mine and his tongue licking into my mouth felt sensual like I’ve never experienced before.

Letting my wrist out of his strong hold, I could move it freely deciding the best place was on his lower back, inching closer to his butt as we made out in the South-east Clapham bar bathroom. We didn’t have a care in the world the only thing on our minds was the feel of the others lips and hands grabbing in ecstacy wanting to be closer. Knowing we couldn’t get any further in here with the unlimited spacing and privacy - the both of us obviously not wanting to be caught fucking - we reluctantly let up and created a little more space between us. Well, not so much between our bodies which were still as close as they could be, but our lips weren’t touching and Harry’s hooded eyes were scanning mine trying to see if we had the same intentions.

I can’t imagine it was hard to tell that I wanted tonight to end up like it did all those weeks ago. If he couldn’t tell by just looking at me, I moved my hand to his hip squeezing it as I nodded my head in the direction of the exit.

There weren’t any words exchanges between us as he took hold of my hand and walked out of the bathroom and into the unusually large crowd for a regular friday night in Clapham. He pulled me behind him, the tight hold on my hand making sure he wouldn’t lose me as we moved through the bar to get to his mates where he had left his jacket when he came to the toilets.

Only two seats were taken at the booth they had occupied for the night and Harry quickly grabbed his jacket after patting the guy closest to him on the shoulder telling them he was out. I don’t know it they were the same people he was out with last time or if they had noticed me waiting for him by the exit, but this time I was holding his hand and they made it pretty obvious they noticed me winking at Harry and telling him to have a good night.

The walk back to his house was spent joking and laughing together, not talking about last time or our plans for the night. It’s nice being able to have a laugh with him and there be no hidden message behind it or dirty thoughts - though they were there and would come to the forefront of my mind when we’re inside his house and sort of confined compared to the open outside. Only after two walks home with him I feel more comfortable by the minute and can’t help but feel giddy at the fact that we met once again and we’re on the way home for a fun night ahead. Maybe we’ll experiment a little more or go on for longer.

The fresh air had sobered me up quite a bit, hoping Harry had as well, but I was definitely still strongly inebriated compared to my usual sober state. As Harry opened the front door and let me in the first thought I had was that it was messy. A lot messier compared to last time when there was barely anything to pick on. It surprised me and made me wonder if this was the usual state of the house, or if he’d just had a rough day or week like I had.

It didn’t seem like he had any plan on saying anything about the mess as he shut the door and locked it behind him, walking towards me in quick strides. This wasn’t anything like last time.

“Are we going to stand here staring at each other all night?” I hadn’t even noticed his eyes on me, too focused on studying him and talking myself out of any possible feelings that might come. If I manage to keep it flirty and fun, I might be able to keep any feelings for him in check. The only thing I’m looking to feel tonight is his cock growing in my mouth and throbbing inside me.

This was purposeful, much like earlier in the night when we saw each other in the bar bathroom. We knew what we wanted from each other and there wouldn’t be any teasing - from my part at least. I want - need - a long night of fucking a hot police officer and completely forget about the stress at work and with my parents.

Harry had a strong grip around my waist and his other hand at the back of my neck, pulling me as close as he possibly could and put his lips on my waiting ones. It felt good to kiss someone - him - again and him taking charge of what would happen. After our one-nighter a few weeks ago, I’ve been craving the same feeling as Harry gave me that night as I played with myself. The intense and incredible orgasm he pulled from me and the fact that he wasn’t afraid to cuddle after gave me enough material for sex dreams the coming weeks.

A slightly broken groan exited Harry’s lips when I pulled his hair between my fingers and reciprocated the kiss with just as much fervor and eagerness, not wanting to wait for much longer to see where it would take us. His hand trailed down from my waist to rest on my bum. I let out a shaky breath as his lips moved to my jaw, leaving closed-mouth kisses in his trace down my neck. How he made me feel good in such a short amount of time and barely even touching me is absurd and I’m not sure I like that he has that effect on me. But at the same time, I love it.

Harry moved slightly forward trapping in between his body and the wall, making sure there was no way for me to move. Not that I wanted to gain space between us. No, more like the opposite as I began to unbutton his white shirt showing off his biceps and lovely chest. I couldn’t help myself as I skillfully moved lower down and finished by unbuttoning his trousers as well. It popped open and the zipper followed before I pulled the shirt off him showing off his torso though I couldn’t quite get my eyes on it yet as Harry’s head was shielding my view as he went ham on my neck. Not that I minded; wanting to show off to everyone how much of a great shag this man is.

The shirt dropped to the floor and Harry came up from my neck to meet my lips again. He moved a couple of inches making our fronts glue together. I felt his steadily growing length against my core as he thrusted his hips forward to gain some friction. When Harry heard me moan at the feeling and feel me try to pull his hips closer he smirked at me. It was hot the way he was so sure of himself this time, maybe it was the alcohol he had consumed tonight. As he kept his eyes on mine, our noses almost touching, he ground his hips into mine. The smirk was still on his lips - it might’ve grown when I let out a sound of pleasure and leaned my head on the wall.

“If you can’t tell, I really fucking want you, Alex.” Harry's lips separated at the feeling of his cock straining against his restricting jeans and his brows furrowed creating a crease between them. His frankness in wanting me - something he didn’t verbally let me know last time at least - lit a fire inside me. It felt really fucking good to know I’m wanted in that way by someone as impeccable as Harry and I don’t think I could ever remove the loving smile on my lips.

“You can have me in any way you want, I don’t have any plans tomorrow so I expect you to fuck my brains out.” Disbelief was written all over his face as his hands stopped moving where they had been groping and gripping my ass. Letting out a laugh when he got a grip on himself he shuffled out of his shoes and kicked them behind him and got his hands back on my ass, lightly slapping it before moving them lower to my thighs and picked me up. I had ran away from him the last time he tried to lift me up, but I didn’t necessarily care this time.

A squeal made its way past my lips as he quickly made his way from the hallway to his front room that I hadn’t seen before. Not that I paid any attention to it now, except for the fact that I was thrown down on an insanely comfortable gray corner sofa. Harry hovered over me and I let my fingers trail along his chest and stomach. It was definitely defined, but he didn’t have abs. I liked that he was completely ripped and still had that softness to him that I got to feel when we cuddled. He clenched his hand next to my head as he felt my fingers on him, admiring the view. It was a three-sixty to what I had just told him to do to me, but I didn’t mind. Both sides of Harry were greatly appreciated.

“I’ve been daydreaming about what your tits look like since I didn’t get to see them and it’s been killing me not knowing if I would get the chance to or not.” His deep, raspy voice was heavenly and told me I wasn’t the only one to have dreams about our time together over the last few weeks.

I shook my head at him, barely acknowledging his words, though I heard him loud and clear. Harry sank down on his knees between my parted legs to have his hands free to roam my body. He didn’t have a clear view of my pussy as I wasn’t wearing a skirt, this time my legs were covered in light wash jeans.

«Then get me naked so you can see them.» I wasn’t into him taking his time when all I wanted was to get on with it and feel the incredibly rousing and breathtaking enjoyment of having him inside me bringing us both to our highs. Though I savored the look in his eyes as he moved them from where his hands glided over my waist and hips to my - still - covered tits all the way up to my lips. It was as if he didn’t quite know where to begin although we already established that he wanted to see my tits in all their glory.

Harry suddenly got up and stood next to me - laying still on his sofa.

«Roll over.» Glancing at him, he looked completely gone as if he’s in his mind and not putting all his attention on me. Deciding that it doesn’t matter as long as he’ll fuck me I turned my body over on my front, my hands moving to lay crossed over my head.

I didn’t lay there for long before I felt Harry’s fingers back on my skin, trailing on and around the straps of my bra and the clamp before roaming down my back and to my jeans. Lifting my hips a bit so he could reach around to unbutton it and pull it down my legs, he worked quickly and meticulously. Like he knew exactly what he was working towards and how to get it. I didn’t complain nor would I complain about him doing anything and everything he wanted to do to me.

He pulled the thong barely even covering my fanny down my legs, too, before getting back in the position he was in before he got up. His naked muscular thighs behind mine and his arms holding himself up as he leaned down closer to me. He must have pulled his pants down when he was standing, only left in a pair of briefs.

“I’m gonna keep the anticipation up for a little while longer, while I enjoy you sweet little peach that I didn’t get to do last time, okay, pet?” Harry’s raspy voice whispered into my ear and pulled my hair away from my face. The difference between his rough voice and words to his gentle fingers running across my cheek and behind my ear to move my hair was strong. It continued as his fingers ran down my back, giving me goosebumps in their trail, and ended up where his front met my ass, bringing his hand up before harshly slapping it down to my cheek.

I couldn’t help but move forward at the sensation at the same time moaning at the pleasure and pain combined. Somehow, without me telling him, he must’ve realized I enjoy certain sexual things others probably don’t. With other partners they’ve never been able to detect likes or kinks or even be able to make me have a relatively good orgasm. Harry just seems to know what to do to make me putty in his hands and take joy in it.

Harry wanting to keep himself from getting the enjoyment of watching, playing or fucking my tits made me wonder how much this man likes to give and rather puts himself last in sexual situations - if not all considering his line of work.

His hands made their way down my thigh and grazing the inside of my knees before parting them to get a good look at my already soaking wet puzzy. Nothing felt awkward with Harry and I didn't have a single worry running through me as he gazed right at it before going in for a taste. It’s been forever since anyone ate me out and god was I excited about it. Previous partners haven’t really cared to spend enough time down there to get to know how I like it or even if I enjoy it or not. Though it bothered me a bit, I was just happy to be intimate with someone as guys usually tend to go for my friends walking straight past me. I’m surprised Harry showed interest - maybe that’s cause I was alone at that point.

There was no teasing when he finally dipped down and started licking and sucking my flowing juices before going further down to catch my clit between his soft lips. His nose grazed my asshole, but he didn’t seem to want more than to be within close proximities to it nor did he seem to mind. If he were to want to want to do more than just graze it I wouldn’t be opposed, but I won’t dwell on the thought until it possibly gets brought up. I couldn’t think straight as he opened his mouth around my clit and sucked. It wasn’t a teasing, light suck, but a harsh suck making my eyes roll back and the loudest cry of his name slip out of my lips.

Moving back to my entrance his tongue slipped in and out while lapping up my juices. It was as if this was his first meal of the day and he wasn’t gonna be full until I orgasmed. His hands were grasping my bum cheeks to make sure there was enough space so he could get full access and at least breathe a little bit.

My hand gripped a pillow nearby and my toes curled as I suddenly felt his thumb on my clit rubbing circles into it. The feeling of both his tongue and thumb working to get me to reach my first orgasm was all I could ask for a great start to the night.

«Please.. Harry I’m gonna cum.. Please Har- Ahh!» I begged for him to bring me to my high - not that I was far away at all, but I needed that last little push. Anything would suffice at this point. He took his thumb away and moved his mouth back on my clit, giving it full attention. The hand he was using went back on my ass for a short moment before pulling it away again. Then it came down on my cheek, hard and loud as he slapped me while tonguing and sucking at my clit. It was the last push I needed to finally orgasm, coming with a loud cry of his name ending in a moan at the feeling of his mouth not stopping until I came down.

The sensitivity I felt made me jerk forward a bit to try and move away from him. Thankfully he understood that I couldn’t take anymore right now needing a second to catch my breath before we fucked. He landed a light kiss to the asscheek he had slapped, his hands roaming my body from my thighs up to my hips along my spine ending up on my neck as his lips followed his movements. It was a sickly sweet thing to do to someone you’re only met for the second time tonight and strictly having sex with - for now at least.

I wasn’t in the right mind for a relationship, nevertheless my first relationship, nor did I want someone pining after me. Not that I would ever think Harry would be pining after someone like me when he can get someone so much better by the blink of an eye.

«You good?» I couldn’t do anything but nod my head, telling him I wanted more by shaking my hips against his pelvis. He was still wearing his pants, but the stiff cock hidden was obvious when he pressed his hips against mine. I loved feeling him get hard for me, it was the best confidence boost.

Though I had gone significantly longer between two shags last time, the three weeks between our meetings were enough for me to be just as needy for the feeling of getting filled up as I was weeks ago. Every lad I’ve been with sure haven’t left me with the same feeling, more like being needy for something better. I really don’t think I’m gonna get much better than this with Harry knowing exactly how to please me - or any woman really.

Barely hearing the sigh leaving Harry’s lips as he took his cock out of his briefs, I was somewhat surprised when I felt him between my cheeks. He rubbed himself along the space, holding himself down to get the tight feeling of it. Shaking my arse slightly to tell him to get on with it he let out a cute giggle at my urgency to get on with it. I wanted nothing more than to feel his thick cock sliding into my impossibly wet and ready pussy. Remembering how amazing he made me feel made me want to relish in it again - especially if this would be the last time this was to happen.

Harry guided his tip along my slit to gather some of my wetness along his length before situating himself at my entrance. Shuffling his knee a tiny bit forward with his other leg on the ground, he slowly made his way into me with a couple of muffled words. A groan left his mouth when he bottomed out at the same time as I let out a delicious moan, a smile finding my lips.

«Your noises are just like they’ve been in my dreams.» I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t tell me he’s dreamt of me if he wasn’t drunk, but I took in his words with a gasp as he rammed into me again.

His pace was significantly quicker than last time and I was brought close to my second orgasm in no time as his balls hit my clit when he pushed into me. My hand was clenched around the flesh of his thigh - what I could reach anyway. I’m sure my nails were digging into his warm skin but nothing was on the forefront of my mind at this very moment except for the fact that he was fucking me as if I was his favorite toy after a rough day. It was exactly what I needed and again I’m asking myself how he knows exactly what I want and need.

«Fuck, Har-» I couldn’t get out my words as his palm came down on my asscheek at the same time as he fucked into me. It was perfectly timed and I savored the pleasurable pain I got from it unlike anything else. I moved my hand from where it was on his thigh to his wrist connected to the hand planted secure on my cheek. His other had was gripping my waist forcefully as he slammed into me without caring about bruises or pain. Not that I minded in the slightest, only egging him on with the sounds I couldn’t even try to keep from his ear shot. There was no way he didn’t hear me from the way I literally screamed out in satisfaction.

«You’re so wet, pet. So fucking wet and inviting.» Harry was breathing heavily, but it seemed he planned on keeping up his pace as long as he possibly could. «You like when I get rough, huh?» He had me speechless, unable to tell him how much I was enjoying what he was doing to me. The only thing he could take from me was my gasps and breathless moans as he fucked me.

The hand previously on my waist suddenly went to my cunt, his middle finger stimulating my clit by drawing circles on it. My body unconsciously tried to move forward to get away from him as he pinched my clit - the stimulation nothing like what I’ve ever felt before. Harry held me back though and his quick pace didn’t falter one bit. It was turning me even more on how he managed to keep me back, his strong physique impressing me.

My legs were shaking and I fought to keep them up while he continued to press drawings into my clit, his right hand gripping onto the flesh of my ass. I desperately wanted to keep up, but my legs failed me as I flung forward. Harry didn’t let me relax for more than five seconds before he separated my legs a little bit to get better access to my pussy which he had slipped out of when I fell down. He guided himself back in, giving a couple slow thrusts before continuing his pace from before.

He held himself up by his arms on both sides of my head, hips hips getting us both to our highs we were longing for. It wouldn’t take much for me to get off as I was already so close and with this new position I’m much tighter making it harder for Harry to keep his orgasm back.

«C’mon, pet, I can feel you- feel you squeezin’ me tight.» I could tell Harry was close by the way he had to stop talking for a moment before finishing his sentence. I felt amazing and just a couple more thrusts of him meeting the spongy spot inside me had me coming undone around his cock.

My legs shook and my hand moved up to grip his neck, my fingers catching a fee of his curls and he let out a series of groans into my ear. I hadn’t noticed how close we had gotten when we changed position.

«Where do you want it?» I hadn’t ever been asked where I wanted the lad to spurt his cum, but I should’ve guessed he would ask as this is Harry (and he asked last time too) and not some sex crazed idiot.

«Arse. Cum on my arse Harry, please.» I breathed out, my orgasm just about at its end when Harry pulled out and jerked himself off until he came. Spurts of cum fell on my arse, some on my lower back. Harry was loud when he orgasmed, letting out moans and groans of sensitivity when he reached his tip to make sure he had got every last drop of his load out.

I laid on my front, feeling the sticky substance on my arse as I tried to get my breathing back to normal. It sounded like Harry was doing the same as he sat with his knees on either side of my right thigh getting a full view of my spent pussy and his release taking its place on me.

«I’ll go get a towel to clean you up, unless you wanna shower?» I smiled into the crook of my arm at the man sitting behind me - probably staring at how his cum had covered my red arse - offering to lend me, a one(two)-night-stand, his shower.

Telling him I’d take up his offer if he joined me, we had quickly made our way upstairs to his luxurious bathroom I had dreamt of having last time I was in here. The expansive shower was a dream and sharing it with Harry made the dream even better. It all seemed a little too domestic and intimate for it to be with someone I barely even knew. Thinking about it, I only really knew his first name, that he is a police officer and has a lush house I could barely see myself having in the future.

Harry took the showerhead from its place on the wall and turned it on, the water turned away from us so we wouldn’t feel the cold water. When the water heated up, he told me to turn around and grabbed the body wash he had in here. He angled to shower head to my back, spending extra time on my arse to get away his cum before lathering the area along with my legs with his soap, cleaning me up.

It felt nice to have someone spend this much time on my body, but not having a sexual desire behind it - in this very moment at least. Though it scared me how it didn’t feel awkward at all and he didn’t care a bit about how I mostly only let him see my back. I didn’t feel comfortable showing him my pouch in the light room even if he said he wouldn’t care or not.

When he finished rinsing the soap off of me, he put himself under the other showerhead fastened to the roof making it like a waterfall. He looked tired and spent, ready to sleep for a week straight. I couldn’t help but think it was more that a hot fucking that made him this tired.

«Was I too rough? Can see marks on your waist and your arse is red as.» Harry skimmed his fingers along my waist going down to my cheeks, carefully caressing them as it was kinda painful. A good pain.

«No, I liked it. Just what I needed, and it seemed you did too?» I tried to be sneaky about my question wanting to get something out of him about his life so I could have something more to hold on to as we said goodbye in the morning.

He looked defeated when I questioned him and as if he was rolling events through his mind after not thinking about it since earlier this afternoon. Shrugging and letting out a heavy breath he opened the shower door and put a towel around his waist after running it through his hair.

«It’s been a tough week with a case we can't seem to figure out. I was so glad I ran into you and got to think about something else for a bit, so thank you, I guess.» He wasn’t thanking me for the sex, but for letting him take the reigns and get out of his head. It didn’t seem like a good time to tell him that I needed it just as much as he did, but I hoped he understood.

Drying our bodies, Harry made his way into his closet to get me a shirt and himself a pair of briefs. He was back in his own thoughts again, quiet and thinking. Knowing we needed each other to forget, I grabbed his wrist as he made his way out of the bathroom again and pulled him against me.

He had been making a big deal about my tits all night and when he finally got to see them when we got in the shower, he didn’t do anything about it. I was confused. Was he not pleased with how they looked or was just not in the right mind anymore?

«It seems you forgot about a certain body part of mine tonight. And I think you know which part I’m talking about.» We held our eyes on each other as I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper. He didn’t do anything until I moved my hand to unwrap the towel still around my body. Slowly, the towel slid down my body landing in a puddle around my feet. I let go of my own insecurities about my body as I stood completely bare in front of him. It was as if he was in a trance when he finally moved his eyes down.

After taking my tits in fully it really didn’t take much for him to dive in. One was occupied by his hand, fingers pinching my nipple and grabbing it, probably leaving marks there too. The other was covered by his mouth, teeth grazing the nipple pulling it a bit to get every reaction he could out of me by playing with my tits. I stood in the middle of his bathroom, completely nude, as he took his time looking, fingering, sucking at my nipples and chest. Knowing it probably wouldn’t be enough go get him fully hard, I pulled his briefs down to his thighs, not able to reach further. His cock was barely starting to get hard, but I like feeling him grow in my hands.

He groaned when he felt my hands on him and he bit my nipple at the feeling, enough to get a moan from me.

«I want you to fuck my tits, Harry.» No one had fucked my tits before, but I want Harry to cum by my tits. It was hot and lewd and I wanted it just as much for me as for him. Having a man cum twice in a night for me was definitely a wish come true.

«I-I..» I laughed at Harry’s face, shocked with wide eyes and jaw hung. «Yes ma’am.» He giggled like a little boy when he got his head together understanding what I was asking him to do.

His hands found their place on my waist as his lips met mine in a messy kiss. Teeth clashing and tongues licking into the others mouth to get a taste. I walked with him as he began backing out of the bathroom to get to his bedroom. The kiss slowed down, our lips meeting in what could only be described as two people filled with lust and need for each other. Our hands couldn’t find a specific spot to hold on to, gripping, touching and getting to know every part of his body that was reachable.

«I must be in a dream. A fucking stunning woman asking me to fuck her tits.» Harry seemed stunned just like a couple of moments ago in the bathroom.

—

After finishing in my mouth, I got up to brush my teeth and get ready for bed pulling on the shirt he gave me after our shower. It wasn’t awkward when I came back to bed, Harry had put his briefs back on and was laying on his back close to the middle, his eyes closed almost falling asleep.

Shuffling under the blankets without making too many movements I laid my head on the pillow. His bed felt just as comfortable as I remember and I was excited to have a well-needed lay in.

«Do you have work in the morning?» I suddenly remember what he said last time about having the early morning shift on most Saturdays. Praying that he had tomorrow off, I turned to watch him as he sighed and moved to pull my body in flush against his.

«Sort of. I’m on call so I might be lucky and not get called on until later, but that’s wishful thinking honestly.» Closing my eyes I rested my head on his chest and quickly found peace in his fingers trailing down the side of my waist and his lips pecking my head as a way of saying goodnight.

thank you for reading and as I said, I’d really appreciate a reblog to get my writing out there <33

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transtenzin · 4 years

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ok umm deleted my first post like a minute after posting because i started panicking and had to type it out again because i didn’t save anything like the dumbass i am, but here it is again 😭

so anyways

nonbinary tenzin!!!

(i’ll be using they/them pronouns for tenzin in this)

katara and aang are trans as well. katara’s a trans girl, and aang’s not a boy or a girl and that’s all you need to know–even if that much 🙄 so it’s not like tenzin and their siblings grow up not knowing that’s a Thing, because they are both very open about gender, especially aang, who encourages them to Think Some Thoughts about gender.

and tenzin tries.

oh boy, do they try lmaoo

tenzin thinks about gender. they don’t really get it tbh. and not in a comedic “what even is gender” meme kind of way, but like. genuinely. but at this point they’re kind of too embarrassed to seriously ask. katara and sokka make gender sound simple and clean-cut, while aang makes it sound like some sort of vague, weird concept, and tenzin’s siblings just kinda took their own interpretations of these and ran with them.

like, okay, sure. tenzin is seen as a boy by the people in the around them. there are certain expectations and assumptions around this perception/what it means. they don’t necessarily like all of them–which is its own can of worms when deciding why–if that is because they simply don’t like these conceptions, or if they don’t like them because they aren’t a guy, but like… picking that apart sounds stressful and complicated.

tenzin hasn’t brought it up with anyone because it’s kind of an awkward and embarrassing thing to admit, but they Super Do Not Like how their voice has gotten deeper. after a while they have realized it is not just the voice cracking thing going on that they don’t like, but just like. in general. everything is okay until they open their mouth 🙃

it’s not like, Every Conversation, but sometimes when they’re talking to someone and it’s a bit quiet, listening to their own voice makes their stomach drop. like that’s really what they sound like. fantastic. 🙃🙃🙃 (/s)

they think about this some but like… not liking their voice doesn’t necessarily mean anything?

kya’s a trans lesbian, and when kya comes out to their family tenzin finally gathers the courage and asks her how she knew. kya admits that it wasn’t like a single sudden realization or a point in life where she just Knew like most people seem to think there is. there were a lot of things that factored into it, but one of the main things wasn’t really how she felt with being misgendered as a boy, but the comfort she took in knowing that there were other things she could be perceived as instead, and other things she could be.

that’s the first time that someone’s ever explained to tenzin their self discovery with that much understanding. it’s a lot better than bumi’s “idk. if you know you know, you know” + generally being annoying about it every time tenzin tries to have a serious conversation (bumi is agender and when they’re like “but how do you know what your gender is” he’s like “you think i would know? rip to you all with genders but i’m different 😌”)

so after this conversation with her, tenzin is just like…. 👁👄👁 omg okay…. that actually makes some sense.

that gets him thinking more, but this time in a more specific direction. they still don’t know anything for sure though. tenzin Suspects they are not Exactly a boy, but other than that??? anyone’s guess is as good as theirs lmao. they try to take comfort in know there are ‘other things’ they could be, but mostly it just ends up stressing them out.

after tenzin and pema are together, tenzin has been thinking about it even more, and wants to talk to pema about it. like. tenzin has decided that there is a large possibility that they are not a man, and choosing a specific label just sounds so… permanent. they haven’t talked to kya or bumi or anyone about THEIR gender, specifically, because like… what’re they going to say? “hey actually i don’t think i’m a guy” “then what are you?” “idk good question”???

but tenzin has been questioning for a while now (like. a while a while LOL), and they want to trust pema with this.

(EDIT: also time to mention pema is a trans woman. i forgot to mention this for some reason)

one day pema says something along the lines of “ur my husband” and tenzin takes the opportunity and kind of just laughs like… what if i’m not… jk…. unless…? 😳😳

it’s not exactly how tenzin wanted to approach the subject ofc. pema grows kind of concerned when they’re like “well… actually… i might not be” and needs to clarify they still very much are pema’s spouse, but like… not husband, specifically. but yes, spouse. maybe?

tenzin is embarrassed at first to admit this because they’re like 40 years old. they just had their first kid. are they not a bit old for this?? (the answer is no, there is no age limit to this sort of thing.)

pema is happy to know and tenzin is happy to have told her because even if they’re still figuring it out at least there is someone who kind of Knows that there is a Possibility They Are Not Cis. and pema’s kind of like… idk… if you’ve been thinking about this for that long then i think there is More than a possibility that you Aren’t Cis. to which tenzin makes sure to emphasize they are still not 100% certain about anything.

pema’s like okay that’s fine but like… you know that you don’t have to be 100% certain to try on a label? labels are not things that have to be permanent. if in a few weeks you are just 70% certain that you’re nonbinary, you’re allowed to say you’re nonbinary. if some time later you find another label you’re more confident in, you can change to that. you don’t have to be absolutely 100% all the time to try stuff out.

tenzin surprised pikachu face

okay so… logically, they’ve known this. other people they know have done this, including their siblings. but otherwise? for themself? it honestly hadn’t crossed their mind that they’re allowed to just. say that they feel like x is a term for them, and then change their mind later.

but as simple as pema makes it sound, tenzin kind of internally cringes at the thought of having to say ‘so i told you i was x gender but now i think i’m x”. isn’t it enough of a hassle to do that all once, but again? just because they weren’t sure the first time??? ughhh

what if they ditched the whole thing altogether? throw the entire suitcase out. who needs a label 😌😌 aang kind of didn’t either

tenzin starts using any pronouns (like aang did, but aang wanted pronouns to be alternated, while tenzin hasn’t necessarily specified that) by the start of lok, but only with their family and korra.

aang also didnt use a label to describe his gender, and tenzin has been trying to be okay with doing the same.

in lok, hearing pema ask “were tenzin and their siblings this crazy when they were kids?” makes them happier than they can express. it’s like there’s little exclamation marks just going off in their head. like yes!!! that is them!! them!!! Euphoria ™ 💓❤💕💞💗💖💝

and then katara’s reply with “not tenzin, she was always rather serious” and tenzin almost forgets that they have to tell korra that they can’t stay and train her because that also makes them elated, although not quite to the extent that pema using “their” did.

after that they’re still going by any pronouns, but they’ve decided they have a preference for they/them.

when they’re back at air temple island, pema asks about other aspects of gender expression. which like lol tenzin has also been avoiding that thanks 💖 they’ve just been presenting as expected by everyone else–keeping their beard, wearing their usual robes, etc. they’re just like “i’m fine as i am ig” which is true. they’ve thought about changing up their appearance but like lol. they are also on the council and tenzin doesn’t need anything else adding an extra layer of stress on those meetings when everyone already seems inclined to not listen to them. which is also why they haven’t told anyone else about using any pronouns.

when season 2 comes around tenzin is still not satisfied with just Not Labeling their gender, but now that they aren’t on the council anymore, they can think about it more.

it’s just… they spent a long time figuring out what gender was, how they felt about their own gender, and while at the time just leaving it alone seemed simpler, it didn’t make them any happier. it really bugs them, actually, lmao.

at this point they are certain they are not a man, and highly doubt they are a woman either. in fact, they’re still not sure if they have a gender like, at all, but they are very hesitant to put a word to it.

they’ve become used to being referred to as a mix of he/they/she/xe/etc. around their family, although their use of he/him has decreased significantly and they mainly use they/them, so when they hear the air acolytes in the southern air temple consistently refer to them as “he”, they sort of have to pause a minute, and then decide to finally say something.

they’re asked then abt their gender and tenzin’s just like… um actually i’m just not putting a label to it atm you know haha ❤

it goes over pretty well but telling other people that makes them realize how much they actually do want to label it, despite how aang used to talk about not needing a word just for others to perceive her gender, and how everyone keeps telling them “that’s valid!”, etc. etc.

the scene in the spirit world with tenzin’s spiritual enlightenment is also about tenzin realizing that they are also free to explore their gender the way THEY want to, not the way everyone else did. even kya’s answer to “how did u know u were trans” doesn’t necessarily have to apply to how they did.

tbh after that tenzin stops caring. and not in an “my gender doesn’t matter to me anymore” way but “it does matter but now i will stop worrying about trying to do gender the ‘right way’“.

afterward they decide they think they are nonbinary. it’s a label that makes them happy, and it does cover what they’ve determined their gender might be. nonbinary is a broad term, and while they’re still not sure of the specifics, that’s okay. if they later discover they’re something else, that’s also okay. they can tell people they are nonbinary, and it’s fine if they have to tell them something different later. it’s not a hassle if it makes them feel happy being out.

tenzin’s family can still use any pronouns for them, but now everyone else is using only they/them for them.

tenzin’s okay with being called a husband/father/etc when coming from their family despite their initial talk with pema because they trust that they Get It and know that it’s not in a Cis Way, you know???

tenzin keeps their beard (unfortunately) and keeps shaving their head and stuff but they occasionally wear dresses with long swishy skirts and the euphoria!!!!! 😭😭 they love the cloak swishing you KNOW they’d love long swishy skirts too

this is actually the happiest tenzin can remember being with their gender and stuff. people are using they/any pronouns for them, they are wearing whatever they want, they are nonbinary, AND people know!!!

also time to mention jinora is transfem nonbinary, and she’s a bit nervous about shaving her head at first to get her tattoos. tenzin reassures jinora that her hair will grow back AND she will have her tattoos, which she’s wanted and has welllll since earned. they have a parent/daughter bonding moment over her distress about finally having grown her hair out as long as it was only to shave it all off.

and tenzin understands that her nervousness doesn’t mean she doesn’t want them–she asked tenzin about getting them way before that. they are hugely significant to her identity, too, just as they are to theirs. tenzin gets it, and keeps going out of their way to give jinora compliments and use her pronouns in front of her while her hair is still growing back.

and ingores that jinora does the same for them for a little while after they tell her they’re nonbinary. no they’re not crying over how sweet their daughter is you are 😭

tenzin is pretty much freely expressing their gender however they want and living their best life now 😌

nonbinary tenzin… ❤❤ we love to see it

also additional headcanons for other characters that didn’t make it in:

sokka is nonbinary and uses ne/nim pronouns

kai is transmasc nonbianry (he/him)

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chyrstis · 3 years

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WIP Friday!

Tagged by the wonderful @johnnycranes @englass @scungilliwoman @adelaidedrubman @lilwritingraven @fadedjacket @faithchel @stacispratt @gamerpurgatory and @prometheas! I hope you all know how much I appreciate these tags over the past week and am glad to finally be able to show off some work I’ve got brewing too! <3

Tagging: @writerofblocks @painterofhorizons @hunnybadgerv @cobb-vanthss @amistrio @shallow-gravy @tommymillers @jackiesarch @geronimo-11 @ma-sulevin @nightwingshero @shellibisshe @redroci @unlikelynick @jackalopestride @chazz-anova @solesurvivorkat @its-jeph @consumedkings @vasiktomis and @aceghosts but no obligation intended at all, especially if you’ve posted snippets recently.

I’ll start this off with a little bit from the No Cult AU, b/c I’m so close to getting this one done now and I’ve really missed this verse too. Just a bridging section’s needed, so here’s Sharky trying to say hi to Joseph in the meantime.

---

They’d made it, and sure, he was short one hell of a heroic kiss for a job well done, but he was still feeling pretty good about pulling it off to begin with, and after a few handshakes and sloppy fistbumps later, was ready to get back to the reason he’d been on the road to begin with. Making sure every speaker down at Moonflower was able to sing.

He whistled, picking back up on the beat he’d settled on earlier, only to have it quickly reach a pitch only dogs could hear when he caught Joseph Seed heading towards him.

“Charlemagne,” he called out, greeting him, “this is a pleasant surprise.”

He picked his jaw up, clamping his mouth shut for a few seconds, before finally working his way to a proper response. “Uh, yo.”

“Is John with you?”

“John? Nah, he’s-we’re not on for today. Probably off flying, or doing you know, lawyer stuff. Dotting Is and crossing Ts, shaking hands and smiling all big and wide while talking to people so they think you’re listening to ‘em, like you do.”

Joseph folded his hands in front of him, and hummed in response even though he’d started frowning a bit.

“But anyway, I uh, in case you’re wondering why I’m here, I caught a couple of your people on the side of the road. Was going towards Moonflower to get my set up ready for some fresh tunes, ‘cause the last time I was there the wires shorted, probably had something chewing on them when I wasn’t looking, but they’d pulled over. I saw they needed a hand and helped ‘em get here. Didn’t even have to piss in the radiator to do it either.”

“That’s-“ Joseph was definitely giving him a look that reminded him almost straight up of John, but shook it off. “Fortunate…?”

---

I’m definitely still plugging away at the Trap fic too, so here’s a part that I’m hoping to get to within the next few chapters? *crosses fingers*

---

“Give me all of their names, one by one.”

They were listed off. Repeated each without a single tremor.

“Have any of them transferred to the plant within the last month?”

“Yes.”

Hana’s eyebrows climbed up.

“How many?”

“Three members, all of whom are still at the plant. I have their-all of what they’ve packed. Where they’ve transported it, and-”

“And have you at any point before now seen any cause for concern in their behavior? Think very carefully, William. What happens next is going to depend on you.”

The silence that carried through after that stretched long enough for her to think the recording had ended, but she heard a throat clear. A shaky breath, then William’s voice again.

“...Nothing at first. They’ve been hard workers. Reliable. We trusted them, but when they fell behind, they would frequently help each other. That had to have been when the fertilizer was first taken.”

“Early tomorrow, I will need both you and Sister Rebecca at the ready. I don’t want a single word of this to be shared with anyone on the premises, not a single soul, because our little would-be conspirators could get wise, and the last thing we need is to make them aware of it. Now, they could prove to be innocent, that is true, but until then we must be careful. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Yes, Herald.”

“It takes great courage to do this William. To bring these things directly to my attention since these are claims that will not be taken lightly. But until the truth has been found, and we know for certain that our brothers and sisters can be trusted, we will remain vigilant, and and if this proves to be true, you will be rewarded for this. That I promise you.”

---

...And maybe a little something saucy I’ve been poking at for a while for Hana and Sharky on the side? This also jumps way ahead in their fic timeline too since I do feel a bit bad for subjecting these two to so much pining hell in their current one. :’D

---

“Morning,” Hana said, giving him a soft smile.

Cracking open an eye to look at her, a grin settled on Sharky’s lips, and he shifted onto his back so that his face was no longer buried in the pillow clasped between his arms. His hair was sticking out in every direction, and when he scrubbed a hand through it, he messed it up even further.

“Mm, morning.”

It had her breath catching just for a second. Just seeing him damn near beam up at her, when all she’d done was wake him up.

So she took that view in. Smiled right on back as she rethought her original plan, which had been to head down to the cafeteria and sneak them both a couple of cups of coffee to bring back, but she’d forgotten just how nice it was to catch him like this. To wake up on the days when neither of them had an early shift and find him right there next to her.

So, she went through a few options. Turned them over in her mind as she chewed on her lip, and he started to doze off again.

Fisting her hand in the sheet, she pulled it right off of him, and his eyes snapped open.

“Whoa, what the-“

Her shirt was drawn up and over her head after, and whipped to their right. She hadn’t bothered to put on anything else under it, mostly using it to keep the chill off, but she had him now. Crawled up and over him, soaking every last bit of it up as he blinked at her before everything clicked into place.

#wip #I really did want to hop on this Wednesday but with work it's so hard to say when time's open #but always better late than never!#and my next fic goal to finish is the AU darn it #I'd love to get this next one done b/c I've been working on it since at least April I want to say #b/c I've been working on this one since at least...April I want to say?#and that's just ridiculous at this point XD

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dannyboy-writes · 3 years

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Red stains darker in the snow

The white lights blinded you as they took you to questioning, every cold hall the same sad shade of grey, and at every corner a guard posted. So monotonous.

Your arms ached from the pressure a random agent was applying, and you couldn’t help but notice the stares coming from every inch of the room.

Everyone but her.

On one of the never-ending corridors they opened a steel door into an interrogation room, where they left you there for some time.

There was close to nothing in the room. One metal table to which you were cuffed to, one very uncomfortable chair on each side of said table, and a mirror.

As you fiddled with the cuffs the door opened, letting Bailey- or Bell- Barton in with a frown, who looked at the mirror after sparing you a glance, and sat.

“y/n l/n, is that even your name?” He asked, dropping the file.

“Who knows,” you shrugged.

“...fugitive in fifteen countries, twenty two states, wanted for terrorism, murder and the hijack of a high tech plane,” he started as you reminisced on previous assignments. “Where did you take it, the plane.”

“Plage de Carras.”

“Hmm, France. Was it nice?”

“Lovely,” you said with a smile. “You should go, you look like you need more sun.”

He smiled, “I wouldn’t gloat much if I were you. Where you’re going there’s not that much sun.”

“Well, I doubt you found anything at the apartment,” you said as his smile dissipated into the straight line it was at the beginning. “And there’s nothing you can trace me to… So, how would you arrest me? Unless SHIELD has fallen into the dark side of intelligence, alongside Hydra and the CIA-”

“The CIA isn’t Hydra,” he interrupted.

“How not? Hidden government organization, check; based in world domination, check; has multiple hidden bases and severe human rights violations, check and check.

“Would you stop with the mind games,” he said, resting back in the chair.

“They’re not mind games-” you started.

“You’re a liar,” spat Barton as you looked at him.

“Am I, though?” You nonchalantly asked.

“You told her you’d change, you’d be better.”

“Oh, that you mean. No, yeah, that was a lie,” you chuckled. “But it’s not like it was a ‘lie’ lie, I mean, she knew I wasn’t going to change. I don’t think it counts as a lie that way, do you?”

“Yes!” He snapped, hitting the metal table. He pinched the bridge of his nose and spoke in a calmer voice, “It counts. Maybe not to someone like you, l/n, but it does.”

“Ooh, not to someone like me,” you mocked. “We’re all the same, Barton. You, her, me. We all sell ourselves, our information, our skills. You do it for your precious America, she used to do it for Russia, I used to do the same. It doesn’t matter who you do it for, you do it. Your SHIELD is not so different from the Red Room, or where I grew up.”

“Where was that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you stated. “The point is, Barton, in this line of work, you have to lie, or you die. It’s that simple. And if you think Natasha over there, behind the mirror, doesn’t lie, you’re dumber than I thought.”

She had to be behind it, or listening somewhere. She should’ve had the courage to sit in front of you, but apparently she didn’t. Madame B. would be disappointed.

Barton said nothing, and you continued, “She is behind there, isn’t she? Waiting, calculating. Trying to crack what I’m doing.”

“Maybe,” he said.

“Well, there’s no need to dwell too much on it. I can tell her myself.”

“You can tell me,” he said as he scraped the chair to the floor, making you wince.

“Now, where’s the fun in that.”

At that he left, maybe thinking you would crack under the pressure of nobody… What a dumb plan.

A few hours passed and as you were stretching your muscles, the door opened again, this time, with a familiar tone of red walking in.

“I was beginning to think you were a no show, Red,” you said while she sat in the chair.

She said nothing.

“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue or something?”

“No, I’m fine,” she said, reading the file Barton had left there.

There was not much in it, only a few minor inconveniences; still, there were some things that you’d rather forget there too.

“Your new team sucks at making files, by the way. There’s nothing there,” you started, tapping an old rhythm on the table. “I’ve noticed you, Red. You’re becoming sloppy.”

“Maybe I wanted you to notice, hmm. Ever thought of that?” She retorted.

You scoffed, “Now, why would you want that? Got a death wish or something?”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I’m a changed fella, time does crazy things,” you snickered.

“Why are you here, y/n?” She finally asked.

“I mean, it’s not like I chose to be here. If I had, there would be less cuffs and more beaches,” you said, tugging the restraints. “Although I do enjoy cuffs under the right circumstances… Remember?” You smirked.

“Fondly,” she met your eyes for the first time since she walked in, making you smile. “So,” she started. “What’s your plan?��

“There’s no plan,” you shrugged.

“Bullshit.”

“I’m serious, no plan. Not a single thing, nada.”

“No plan,” she said, as you nodded. “So, you knew the team was there…”

“Yup. They’re very sloppy.”

“You let them capture you…”

“Clearly.”

“All for nothing,” she finished.

“Well, not for nothing. I just said I had no plan,” you said.

“So what for then?”

“I was bored,” you stated, wandering your gaze around the room.

“Bored?”

You nodded, “Bored.”

“What, do they have a bad retirement plan at Hydra?”

“Very funny,” you said, a resigned smile on your lips.

“I’m going to ask again, then, and don’t lie to me. Why are you here?”

You took a deep, sharp breath before saying, “I need help.”

“Help?”

“Yep.”

“I’m sorry, I thought you said you needed help,” she said in disbelief.

“Well, there’s no need to be smug about it,” you said. “I’m only human, Nat.”

“Doubtful. Go on, help with what?”

“As you know, I’m a wanted criminal in many places,” you said, stopping for her to nod. “And, as you also might know or figure out, some of those places want me to go to their little dark prisons.”

“Which is understandable, considering everything you’ve done.”

“What about what you’ve done, huh Red? You don’t get to pay for those?” You accused, and when she didn’t say anything, added, “Joking.”

“Anyway, as I was saying, some of them want me imprisoned, most want me dead. And it’s catching up, and I can’t avoid it all on my own. So, I’m here in search of help,” you concluded.

“Why should I help you, y/n? We haven’t seen each other in years.”

It was a fair argument.

"I mean, you don't have to help me. By all means, you're free to let me go. In fact, you should. I don't bring anything good to this situation. I'm a fugitive with zero information on anything and a target bigger than my back. Just me.”

She stared at you for a second, “It's not like we had much before.”

“True, we were great,” you mused. “Whatever happened to us?”

“You kept working for Hydra as I left the KGB and joined SHIELD,” she reminded you.

“Well, it’s not like I had much of a choice, Natasha,” you said, getting serious. “You left without saying a word and I had to deal with the consequences. That mission was mine too and you messed it up. Just packed and left. I was left to fend for myself, and try not sell you out.”

She was quiet. Probably had no idea you had suffered for her departure; or that you didn’t sell her out, even if it would’ve meant much less pain for you.

“I thought about doing it,” you continued. “Sell you out. It would’ve solved many problems.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked without a second thought.

Now you were quiet. Very quiet.

“I- I guess I wanted something good to come out of that mess. I don’t know, I wanted to think you were out, and it was something less to worry about. But it backfired,” you finally said.

“Backfired how?”

“Well, you became the mission after your little escape. And who better than me to find you,” you scoffed. “I mean, they knew everything, Red. Every single thing. Every secret code we had, every place we met at.”

She shook her head, “There’s no way, how would they know?”

“I have no fucking idea how! But they knew,” you shook your head. “Now, there’s no need to get into that. Will you help me?”

She took a deep breath and nodded, “Yes.”

As you were thanking her a knock on the glass stopped you. Natasha left the room and met with a very angry Clint Barton.

“What are you doing, Tasha?” He asked while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“They need help, okay. I have to,” she said.

“You don’t have to do anything. They made their choice a long time ago.”

Natasha only shook her head.

“Why do you still have their back?” He asked.

Ah, the million dollar question.

“We go back, Clint. They've saved me countless times.”

“They’ve tried to kill you as many times as well,” he added.

“You don’t get it. It was my fault,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow for her to continue.

“When I left. When I decided to go with you, I- I didn’t even think of bringing them with. And they suffered because of that choice I made.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said and she looked at him. “Whatever happened to y/n when you left is not your fault.”

“But it is!” She shouted. “It is. And now they need help, and I’m not gonna turn my back on them again, Clint. I can’t.”

Barton was about to say something but he stopped himself. “Okay,” He started. “We’ll help them.”

Natasha entered the questioning room some time after leaving you with your thoughts, this time accompanied by Barton.

“We’ll help,” she only said.

“We?” You asked.

“We,” said Barton. “I’m not going to let you be alone with her.”

“Scared I’ll steal your girlfriend?”

He grabbed the collar of your shirt, “Now, let me be clear with something l/n. Just because we’re helping, doesn’t mean I’ll let you run around like a child in a park. Do you understand me?”

“I understand,” you huffed, throwing your body backwards to get out of his grip. “So, when are we leaving?”

“Leaving?” They both asked in synchrony.

"You didn't expect us to stay here, right? There's gotta be a safehouse somewhere harder to infiltrate than this place,” you said.

“This place isn’t easy to infiltrate,” Barton defended.

“It is. I did it twice,” you admitted. “Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

Barton unclasped the cuffs, "Hypothetically speaking, huh? Was that a confession?"

“No, simply a statement on the security of this place,” you shrugged.

“There’s a safehouse up north,” Natasha said. “But it’s cold this time of year.”

“Please, Red. You grew up in Russia, you gonna tell me a little snow is too much for you?”

“I don’t remember it was me whining about the cold in our stakeouts,” she retorted.

“No, that was because you stole all my jackets and covers and I was left with nothing but light sweaters,” you bickered back while Barton cursed to himself for getting in this mess with you both.

“Alright you two,” he interrupted. “We leave tomorrow.”

You shook your head, “Now.”

“We need to prep everything for the trip, and tell Fury about-”

“You’ll tell no one nothing,” you almost shouted, banging your hand on the table. “You can’t,” you said more calmly.

“Why not?” Natasha asked.

“Because- It’s imperative that no one knows about this.”

“We can trust Fury,” said Barton.

“You can’t trust anyone,” you spat. “Not if you want to live. We leave tonight. Is there a car we can take?” You asked, looking at Natasha who was silent.

She knew you were right. After all, not long ago, SHIELD was infiltrated by Hydra.

“There’s a car,” she said, while Barton stared at her. “That’s how we stayed alive.”

He sighed loudly in defeat as you stared blankly at the metal table. “Okay, we take the car and head north to the safehouse. Then what?”

“Then we wait,” you said.

“Wait for what,” asked Natasha.

“For my contact.”

The mildly hard part of the plan was escaping from SHIELD headquarters, but even that wasn’t so hard. Next, you all found your way to a car parked at the last level of a parking lot, under some dusty blankets.

Natasha started driving and when she got tired Barton took over, while she slept on the back, which made the car’s habitacle a tense place.

Neither Barton nor you said a single word for the time Natasha was asleep; there wasn’t even a single stare between the both of you.

When Natasha woke up you decided you were going to drive a bit, to get your mind busy on something; so with Natasha as the copilot you took the wheel, and it wasn’t until she was sure Clint was asleep that she spoke.

“Okay, what are you not saying?”

“What,” you asked.

“Something is different,” she started. “What is it?”

“You mean besides the fact that multiple governments want me dead?”

“I don’t buy that. Countries have wanted you dead for years, why does it matter now?”

You sighed staring at the newfound snow on the route, “It’s nothing.”

She wanted to say something, to protest against your lack of answer but she didn’t.

You got to the safehouse after almost an hour of thick, sickening silence, and Natasha would’ve preferred a millennia of quiet instead of what she heard.

One piercing bullet sound, and you falling to your knees.

While Clint left to find whoever had fired the gun Natasha froze still in the white before falling to her knees with you, cradling you.

“You’ll be okay,” she said, applying pressure on your abdomen. “Everything will be okay.”

You managed a crooked smile and a reassuring look before placing your hand on her cheek, “It’s okay, Red. It’s okay.”

She held your hand and kept repeating the same four words on and on, and she didn’t realise when you drifted off to sleep until it was too late; when she was covered in your blood on the white snow.

She stayed there, by the car, covered in a mix of blood and snow and hugged you. It wasn’t until she saw Clint coming back with defeat plastered on his face that she realised what’d happened.

He helped her into the safehouse and brought your lifeless body, covering it with a sheet.

“Did you find whoever did this?” She asked after a long time of silence.

“I only found the gun,” he said.

“We’ll find them.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #marvel imagine

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