#anyways i'm gonna shut up now and just like. add the tags
Text
good morning! today i want to talk about james potter.
(note: this is solely based on my interpretation of him, thr very same way other writers write james in their own way. this is the essay on how i see him, as a person, a writer, and someone who relates to him, and i am not implying that my characterization is better than someone else's; just my five cents on this!)
we're all aware of the general fandom consensus and characterization for him; sunshine boy, always willing to help everyone around him, never has any sort of problems and is often see through the prism of his relationships.
to start off with my last point, with him being seen and characterized through his relationships, i think it is tied to the fact that he, himself, sees himself that way. the relationships that he has with characters are often strong and intense, either like or dislike, and therefore, said relationships take a toll on him. he always surrounds himself with people, in order to not be alone with his thoughts, and have the time to see deep within him not what the world sees him to be, but what he really is, as imperfect as everyone else.
i also consider james to be the kind of person who runs away from his problems, and this is one of the fundamental differences that he and sirius have (while sirius confronts his problems — and the fact that he ran away from home is not running away from his problems, but actively confronting them. he ran away from home, his home life being a problem, which is exactly confronting it — meanwhile, james never confronts his problems because he's scared of the feelings that might be triggered in him in that case, he's scared of how deeply he feels things, and therefore he like busies himself with other people's feelings and other people's problems in order to not work on his own.).
this also plays into euphemia and fleamont's funeral. james was more focused on comforting the people around him about the death of his parents and not sitting down and thinking on his parents' death and allowing himself to grieve, because he was scared of the impact that it might have on him. (he had a son, and he had to be strong for him; which is also the tying himself to his relationship and putting other people above himself, his feelings, and his needs). after he did sit down on his problems, he started taking more missions and becoming more rash and being more reckless in general as a coping mechanism, which, in turn, hurt him.
moreover, him running away from his problems and helping other people instead of himself often times leaves him seeking something else in order to protect himself and to make himself forget everything he's thinking about; in some cases it may be quidditch, music, pranks, and, sometimes, more dsngerous things. he's a man of stability, in this regards, so therefore i don't thìnk he would do something as dangerous as to put the lives of himself and others in danger. (we see this with the prank; sirius is the one who takes rash decisions, james is the one who puts everything back together.).
james also suffers from savior complex. the criteria and definition for it is as follows "they only feel good about themselves when helping someone, believe helping others is their purpose, spend so much energy trying to fix others that they end up burning out", and "a savior complex, or white knight syndrome, describes this need to “save” people by fixing their problems". i see this more often than not played in jegulus fanfiction, but this behavior of his expands to other characters, too.
last but not least, and this is something i only see being talked about with sirius, respectively regulus, is the pressure put on one's shoulders to perform well when part of a circle of upper-class and talented people. his father invented multiple potions which significantly helped and improved the everyday lives of the wizarding world (i.e.: pepper-up). whether this pressure is put on by parents or yourself, the need to achieve as much as your parents did can both mess up the aspiring young person and burn them out. despite james being naturally talented, much like his parents, i feel like james definitely related to this pressure to perform.
so, in order to sum up; i believe that james potter, too, is a deeply complex and flawed individual, the very same way we believe of other characters to be. being a good person with a warm heart does not mean that one is always happy and that they are inherently a morally white character.
#wow this post was like a fucking. punch to the gut#never felt more exposed on tumblr!! :')))#this is just my five cents so feel free to not believe me#this is why i'm a james kinnie#anyways i'm going to maths class and i wish i didn't have to but like it's my last day before my match exam so yeah#anyways i'm gonna shut up now and just like. add the tags#james potter#james potter meta#meta#my writing
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
A little angsty! Max at 3am for y'all.
Summary: The reader finds herself enamored with Max after hanging out with him and Adam Cole. While hanging out one night, Max reveals a part of himself he rarely lets people see to the reader.
You are sat at a table in one of Adam's favorite restaurants for lunch with your brother. Adam is blabbering on about some new game that he just bought, meanwhile, you're busy texting someone on your phone.
"It's got multiplayer, so you should totally get it so we can play on stream together." Adam continues with his heartfelt speech when he finally notices that you're not paying attention to a word he's saying. "Y/N? Hey, Y/N!"
Adam reaches across the table and pulls your phone out of your hands. Your phone falls to the table with a thud and you glare at your brother.
"What the hell, Adam?" You growl and pick your phone back up.
"Have you even heard a word I've said in the last ten minutes?" Adam replies grumpily. "Who are you texting anyway?" He asks you.
You pick your phone back up and finish the text that you were in the middle of typing out. "I'm talking to Max. Why?" You answer Adam's question.
"Max?" Why in the hell are you texting, Max?" Adam sneers.
"Umm, you're his new tag partner. Why aren't you texting him?" You retort. "Besides, Max and I are kind of becoming friends." You add with a casual shrug.
Adam laughs and reaches across the table for your phone again. You move your hand back and out of his reach and glare at him again. "Come on, Y/N. You're gonna have to give me more than, 'Me and Max are becoming friends.' ." He informs you. "Two months ago you couldn't stand the guy."
"So?" You reply sharply and finally set your phone down. "You didn't like him either, Adam." You remind him.
"Yeah, but I've been forced to do group stuff with him for weeks now. I thought all you guys did was get drinks like once. Now you're head over heels for the guy?"
You roll your eyes at Adam's dramatics. "Am not!" You insist with crossed arms. "Yeah, we had drinks. And we talked while we had our drinks, okay? We just connected I guess. Max. He's not like everyone makes him out to be, alright?"
"Like what? An egomaniac and a narcissist?" Adam snickers.
"He's not a narcissist" You protest. "And you're one to talk about egos, mister Panama City Playboy." You tease Adam with his old nickname.
Adam cringes at the mention of his old mantra and shakes his head. "That was a long time ago. I've changed since then." He reminds you.
"And what? Max is incapable of change?" You continue to come to Friedman's defense.
"Okay, okay." Adam puts his hands up in surrender. "I give up. Just don't go proposing to the guy, N/N." He jokes.
You roll your eyes and pick your phone back up. "Screw off, Adam." You sneer at him. "I was going to split the bill for lunch. But since you want to be rude; you can pay for it."
"Hold on!" Adam protests.
"Too late." You flash a grin and slide the bill toward your brother.
Adam begrudgingly takes the bill and pays for lunch. The two of you part ways for the day since you'll be seeing each other for work tomorrow anyway.
You head home and relax for the night. You are busy playing a game on your computer and thinking about maybe seeing if Adam will let you be on his stream when someone rings your doorbell.
You head to check who's at the door and find Max on your porch. "Oh, hey, Max." You greet him with a smile. "What's up?" You lean against the door.
"Hey. I was in the neighborhood and figured that I'd drop by. You don't mind, do you?" Max explains.
"Not at all." You reply. "Come in." You turn and walk away from the front door.
Max nods and follows you inside, shutting the front door behind him. "Thanks. So, what's up?" He asks as he follows you through the house.
"Not much." You shrug. "I was just playing a game in my office to pass the time. I think Adam is streaming right now, so I was going to maybe hop on and join him."
"You stream too?" Max asks you curiously.
You nod and reach your kitchen where you pull a drink from the fridge. "Mhm. Want one?" You offer Max a drink, which he takes. "I don't have a huge following like Adam does. And I don't do it nearly as often. But it's a hobby."
"Cool. I'm not interrupting, am I?" Max nods.
"Not at all." You insist. "In fact, do you want to be on stream with me? We can hop on and bug Adam. Or we could just hang and do our own thing." You suggest.
You lean against the kitchen counter and wait for Max to give you an answer. "I've never really done anything like this before," Max admits. "I don't want to mess up your stuff."
"Nonsense." You laugh. "It's super easy. And I think that I have a great idea for a stream. All you have to do is look pretty on camera and answer questions." You explain.
"That's all?" Max replies. "How is that?"
You push off the counter and gesture for Max to follow you into your office. At the same time, you send out a quick tweet that you're doing a live Q&A on Twitch.
"Every once in a while I'll play an easy game that doesn't require much attention. Like Pokemon or something. And while I'm playing I let people ask questions on stream with a 1$ donation." You explain as you grab an extra office chair from the corner of the room.
"You make money doing this?" Max sits down in the chair you offer him.
You sit down in your chair and begin setting your camera and other stuff up. "Yes, but also no. People send me money to ask questions. But all of the money I make on stream I double and donate to a random charity." You explain further. "So I'm making money, yeah. But I don't ever end up keeping any of it."
"Wow," Max replies. "That's really cool of you, Y/N." He admits.
"Yeah? Thanks, Max." You grin.
You and Max have a productive stream where you both answer questions for a few hours. You let Max pick the charity getting your money at the end of the stream before you end it.
"Well, that was fun." You turn to Max after your monitor is shut off.
"Yeah, I had fun." Max agrees. "Thanks for letting me hang out with you." He adds.
You nod and pick up your drink from beside you. "Yeah, of course. Anyway, time for some questions of my own." You joke. "How are you feeling about the match with FTR tomorrow?"
Max freezes up a bit at your question and you notice him fidget with his hands for a brief second. "No worries here." He chuckles.
"Really?" You raise a brow at Max. "Are you sure? Because Adam admitted earlier that he's been a little nervous about it all week." You admit.
"Really?" Max replies. "It's because of me, isn't it?" He asks you.
You furrow your brows at Max and shrug. "I don't think so. Adam normally always gets a little nervous before big matches. Being nervous before a big match is a normal thing, Max." You assure him. "Plus if you do end up losing. It's not like it's a big deal right? You're still the world champ."
"Right." Max nods, his eyes cast toward the floor as he mumbles something to himself.
"Max." You clear your throat. "Is there something wrong?" You ask him genuinely.
Max remains silent for a moment, unsure if he should spill his guts like this. Truthfully, he's been having the time of his life hanging out with Adam. Cole seems like a genuine friend now. Something that Max hasn't had in a long time. And then there's you. Ever since that heart-to-heart at the bar Max has felt this unnerving connection to you. Like you're the one person in the world that truly understands him.
"Yeah, I'm nervous about tomorrow, alright?" Max finally admits his doubts and fears. "I'm afraid that if we lose then this will all be over with. Adam won't want to be my friend anymore. Then I won't have an excuse to see you. And I'll go back to being alone. Like I always am."
Your mouth hangs slightly ajar for a moment upon hearing Max's confession. And you find yourself unable to stop a laugh from escaping your mouth. "What?" You laugh.
"Oh, so it's funny is it?!" Max snaps at you. "Yeah go ahead! Ridicule me like everyone else does. Old pathetic loser Maxwell can't keep a friend to save his life!"
You compose yourself with a deep breath and wait for Max to calm himself down. "I'm sorry I laughed." You apologize for your outburst. "I know that keeping friends isn't easy in this business, Max. But I just want you to know that, win or lose tomorrow? I'm still going to be there for you." You assure him. "And so will Adam."
"You will?" Max replies, quieter this time.
"I promise." You move your chair closer to Max's. "Adam is already teasing me that I'm in love with you." You recall your lunch with your brother earlier in the day. "And he only jokes about guys I'm talking to when he likes them. So I think that it's safe to say that we're both here to stay."
A small smile cracks on Max's lips and he matches your gaze. "You're in love with me already?" He jokes.
"I might be a tad overly fond of you, yes." You giggle.
#wrestling#aew#all elite wrestling#aew dynamite#aew dark#aew fanfiction#aew imagine#aew wrestling#mjf aew#mjf & adam#mjf imagine#mjf#mjf x reader#adam cole#aew fanfic
171 notes
·
View notes
Text
Love Dust
Title: Love Dust
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Rating: 18+ Only! Minors DNI!
Word Count: 2,245
Tags: SMUT, Angst, fluff, sex pollen, kink: harder, find the cure, arguing, sexual tension, minor injuries, masturbation, mutual masturbation, wall sex, unprotected sex, choking, biting, oral sex (female receiving), kissing, multiple orgasms, explicit sexual content, explicit language, and I think that's it but please let me know if I forgot something.
Written For: @kinktober2022 , @buckybarnesbingo , and @badthingshappenbingo
Square(s) Filled: Sex Pollen for Kinktober // B2 - Kink: Harder for Bucky Barnes Bingo // O1 - Find The Cure for Bad Things Happen Bingo
Beta(s): T. Thompson and A. DiLorenza
"Bucky? Hey, Buck can you hear me?"
You were partnered with the super soldier on the most recent mission, and things started out bad and kept getting worse.
The two of you didn't really get along, to begin with. Add that to the fact that neither of you agreed with the other's decisions, and well, that's how you ended up here, in this dark, dilapidated room.
The walls are cement, the floor is concrete, there are no windows, and the only light is coming from a little vent on the wall by the steel door.
Neither of you is restrained, but you're a hundred percent certain the door is locked. Instead of wasting your time trying to pry it open, you decide to check on Bucky. After all, he's the one with super soldier serum running through his veins, and with his super strength and metal arm, he's your best bet at getting out.
You crouch down and brush his shoulder-length hair out of his face. He really is beautiful, but you'd never tell him that to his face. He'd never let you live that confession down.
He's got a pretty gnarly gash above his eyebrow but other than that, he's unscathed. Well, from what you can immediately determine anyway. You gently roll him onto his back and press two fingers to his neck to check for a pulse.
Okay, so at least he's not dead.
His chest rises and falls and you can't help but run your fingers over his silver hand. The metal is cool and you flatten his palm to look at the intricate grooves. You've always been fascinated with the inner workings and design of his prosthetic, but never had a chance to look at it up close. Until now.
"The fuck are you doing?"
You jump and scoot back to give him some room, "sorry… you were out cold and I couldn't get you to wake up."
He raises an eyebrow, "so you decide the best way to do that is to play with my metal hand?"
"Just shut up and help me get us out of here."
Bucky sits up and looks around. He doesn't remember much other than the stubborn tactics that got the two of you surrounded by Hydra agents.
He stands and rolls the sleeve of his red Henley up to expose his metal forearm before gripping the door handle.
"You should probably stand back."
You roll your eyes, "I'm fine. Would you just do it already? I'm hungry and want to shower."
He shrugs and gives the handle a hard tug. Nothing happens so he fixes his stance and uses both arms to pull as hard as he can.
You stand and watch with your hands on your hips. Even though his efforts didn't work it was still nice to admire his back and arm muscles flexing. Just because you think Bucky's insufferable doesn't make him unattractive. You're only human.
"Good try and all, but I don't think the door's gonna budge."
Bucky sighs and lowers himself onto the floor again, the back of his head resting against the wall. Out of all the people he could have been trapped in a ten-by-ten empty room with it just had to be you.
He's honestly not sure what Fury sees in you. Sure you're skilled in combat and can hold you're own on missions. He'd be lying if he said you weren't pretty, but your arrogant personality rubs him the wrong way. It's just like that saying goes, you can't have everything.
"So, any ideas?"
He doesn't even bother opening his eyes.
"Not unless you got a way to bust through that thick, steel door."
"So, we're just supposed to sit here then?"
Bucky sighs, a twinge of annoyance hints in his tone. "Well, seeing as there's only us in here, and I'm the only one who would have been able to open the door, I don't see how we can do anything else."
"That's really helpful," you deadpan. He grunts and you roll your eyes. You watch him from the opposite wall. He's always so nice to everyone else at the compound. Granted he doesn't talk that much or participate in the parties that Tony holds, but he never seems unpleasant with anyone else. So why is he that way with you?
You can't put your finger on it, and so long as you are stuck in this tiny ass room with him you're going to figure out why.
"What's your deal?"
Bucky cracks an eye open and subtly tilts his head toward you, "excuse me?"
"Why are you always such a dick to me?"
He snorts and shakes his head, "I'm not getting into this with you, Y/N. My head hurts, I'm tired, and I'm not in the mood to open this can of worms right now."
You open your mouth to respond, but before you can a hissing noise catches both of your attention. You look at the vent and begin to panic at the sight of a pale yellow mist flowing out.
"Bucky? What the fuck is that?"
"I…don't know…but whatever it is it can't be good."
He stands and goes to pull on the door handle again, but to no avail. The dust-like substance floats in front of his face and he stumbles back, his body becoming overwhelmed with heat.
"Bucky?!"
He collapses onto all fours, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. He's hot all over, and even though he hears you call out to him, he can't focus on anything but the thick, molten heat pooling in his groin.
Once he can finally catch his breath he realizes something else.
He can smell you.
Bucky grits his teeth and tries so hard to ignore the intoxicating scent of your arousal. It's surrounding him, and he can't help the tent forming in his jeans. He's hard and leaking, his cock begging to be touched, and it's taking everything in him to keep himself from tearing your clothes off and pounding it into your tight, wet heat.
You slowly get closer to him avoiding the yellow dust as best as you can. He's doubled over like he's in serious pain, and even though the two of you don't see eye to eye it doesn't mean you want him to suffer.
Your hand gently touches his shoulder and he immediately whips his head around to look at you, your eyebrows shooting up in shock.
Bucky's unrecognizable. His skin is flushed, his pupils are dilated, and his nostrils flare as his lip curls upwards. He looks absolutely feral and you aren't sure if it's because he wants to kill you or if he wants to devour you.
He stands and turns to you, his shoulders moving up and down as he breathes. His fists clench at his sides and he inhales deeply, groaning as he closes his eyes.
"You smell so fucking good, Y/N…"
"Bucky?" You hold your hands up as he stalks toward you, "please…y-you don't have to do this!"
He backs you into the wall and plants a hand on either side of you. His face lowers down to yours and you turn your head to cower away. You're unsure what his motive is. Is he going to eat you? Is this some sort of cannibalistic dust that infects the people that ingest it?
Bucky leans into your neck, his nose dragging along your throat as he breathes in again.
"Mmm, wanna taste you…"
You push on his chest but it's no use. Trying to move him away is like trying to move a brick wall.
There's no where for you to go. Bucky's blocking you from the front and the dust is slowly surrounding you from both sides.
The first flakes of it dance across your face and it's like you've been dipped in a sea of lava. Your back arches off the wall and your panties immediately become soaked through. The throbbing between your legs is so intense that you can't even think straight.
One of your hands slides into your panties and you immediately push two fingers inside of yourself. It does nothing to soothe your need for release, but you just can't stop.
Bucky growls and nearly tears his own off so he can fist his cock. He thrusts into his hand as he watches you, his eyes wild and primal.
Your orgasm comes suddenly and you cry out as slick covers your hand. Bucky’s isn't far behind, seemingly endless ropes of cum bursting from his tip.
Although it felt good, reaching your high did nothing to satiate the unbearable ache in your core. You rub fast circles on your clit while Bucky strokes up and down his still leaking cock.
"Bucky," you whine desperately, his eyes fierce as he looks down at you, "i-it won't stop…"
Bucky closes his eyes and swallows hard. He can hear how wet you are and the last shreds of his self control are dwindling away.
"Buck, please I-I can't… We need to… to find the cure."
"Fuck!" He growls and drags you down so you're laying on the floor, "gotta taste you, doll. Smell so fucking good."
At this point, you'd let him do anything if it made you feel better. You lift your hips and he strips you, tossing your clothes somewhere behind him. He spreads your thighs apart and curses under his breath.
"Jesus, you're dripping all over the floor, baby."
You whimper and circle your clit again, but he swats your hand away.
"Please!" You beg. "Just please do something. I can't take much mo-OH, FUCK!"
Bucky dives between your legs like a starved man. He uses his thumbs to spread you open, his tongue diving into your soaked cunt. He's relentless as he licks and sucks your pussy, bringing you closer and closer to your second orgasm.
You're practically crying from how intense it feels and when he slips his tongue inside of you, it hurdles you over the edge. Bucky doesn't stop, his low groan vibrates through your core and makes you scream and squirt all over his face.
"Bucky! Bucky oh, my g- oh, fuck! Baby please!"
He finally lets you go and pulls his face away so he can look at you. His chin is shining from your cum and it's one of the hottest things you've ever seen. There's still a dull, pounding heat and your eyes fill with tears as your hand works its way to rub your clit again.
"B-Bucky…"
He shushes you and lifts you into his arms, "shh, I've got you, doll. I know, I know it hurts, but I'll make it better, okay?"
You nod and grab onto his shoulders as he pushes you against the wall. His kiss is needy and rough as his cock stretches your pussy.
Bucky can't fuck you fast enough. He's never been more feral for anyone than he is right now. His body pins you to the wall, his mouth ravishes your exposed skin in open-mouthed kisses, and the way your velvety cunt pulls him in is intoxicating.
"Oh, baby," he groans deeply, "you feel so fuckin' good… taking my cock so well…"
"Harder, Bucky!" You cry out and throw your head back, his metal hand coming up to close around your throat.
"Yeah, princess? You need me to fuck this little pussy harder?" He grips your side with his free hand, his hips pistoning upward with reckless abandon. "I'm gonna ruin you, doll. No one else will ever fuck you like this."
"Oh, shit! Bucky! I-I'm gonna cum! You're gonna make me cum oh, my god!"
He squeezes your throat a little tighter and kisses you vigorously, "yeah, that's it, pretty girl…cum…cum all over my cock."
His words are like a trigger, sending you over the edge for a third time, and it's intensity makes little spots dance in your vision. Bucky's release is right behind yours, his legs shaking as he cums with an animalistic shout.
Bucky pants wetly against your lips and lets his metal arm slide down to grab your other hip. He turns around and sinks down to the floor with you in his lap, his cock slowly softening inside of you.
Your still shaking as you lay limp in his arms, his fingertips rubbing lightly up and down your back. It's quiet other than your breathing and you realize that you finally feel relief.
You raise your head to thank him, but before you can, the door is blown off its hinges and hits the wall behind you making you jump.
Bucky wraps his flesh arm protectively around you and raises his metal one to block the debris. He pulls you off of him and stands to put himself between you and whatever’s behind the dissolving dust. Naked or not, he won't let anyone hurt you.
"Buck? Oh, thank god we found y-...wait, why don't you have clothes on? What's going on?" Steve gazes from him, to the yellow pollen-like substance on the floor, and back to Bucky. He's thoroughly confused until he notices you behind his best friend. He shakes his head and chuckles to himself.
"I don't know what happened in here, but whatever it was I'm glad you two aren't at each other's throats anymore. The tension was getting to be too much, so I guess all I have to say is…
It's about damn time."
#j snow writes#kinktober2022#buckybarnesbingo#badthingshappenbingo#kinktober 2022#buckybarnesbingo2022#bucky barnes#bucky imagine#bucky fluff#bucky fic#bucky fanfic#beefy bucky#bucky smut#bucky x female reader#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes x you#james buchanan barnes x reader#sergeant barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes x y/n#james bucky barnes x you#james bucky barnes x reader#sergeant bucky barnes#sergeant james buchanan barnes#sergeant james barnes
568 notes
·
View notes
Text
Petrichor [10]
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)
Words: 17,399
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon drug use, drug use (don't do drugs), blood, bruises, injuries, look the anti-fear drug turns perfectly innocent people into raging murderers and makes them do things they would never do and that's all I'm gonna say for that one, canon violence, violence, mentions of abuse
Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you.
Orestes: It’s rotten work.
Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞
Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.
A/N: I'm sorry this is extra late lol some personal stuff happened and editing has been hard lol then I was sick so here we are I'm so sorry!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
Instead of providing Dick with any sort of explanation you can think of, you decide you'll meet up with Jason instead. Dick knows he's alive and he's going to want answers which means you're going to be the one interrogated by him. But, Jason tried to kill Dick tonight and that is sending up a large red flag that almost makes you want to tell Dick everything. So, you figure you can meet up with Jason and hope he gives you a good enough reason to either keep your mouth shut or to spill what you know to Dick. Something is off and it's more than just Jason coming back from the dead.
You head outside to the front steps of the Manor. The only people awake are just you and Dick anyway, but you want to be outside for this one. You take out the burner and press redial.
"Shouldn't you be getting some damn sleep?" Jason answers.
"Shouldn't you?" You quip back. "Heard you had an eventful night."
"Fair enough." He remarks but he sounds tired.
"Can we meet?" You ask bluntly.
"Now?" Jason huffs, looking around his hideout that's lit up with lamps on the floor.
"Yeah, now." Your voice is flat and usually Jason can read what you're up to but not now.
"Why?" His brows knight together as the word is slow to leave his throat.
"I can't want to see you after you just fought the Titans?" You ask, a slight snip in your voice.
"You gonna bitch about it?" Jason quips back getting the idea maybe Dick told you what happened or Gar.
"No." You lie.
"Fine. Remember that alley the day we did that bust at the warehouse in Crime Alley?"
"Yes?"
"Meet me there. Leave now." Jason says quickly before hanging up.
You pull the phone from your head, looking at it. Now that's also a bit uncharacteristic of him. He always says it. He always tells you he loves you before he hangs up. Your heart plummets to your stomach. You made the Pet Sementary reference to him but you didn't think it would be literal. Now, you're starting to think maybe it is.
The idea that just because you can bring someone back from the dead, doesn't mean you can bring someone back from the dead. Something about them is different, there's a change. Like a part of their soul or something gets left behind. The good parts of them stay behind but everything else is what gets to come back. You know that's not entirely true because of how he was with you when you met up the first time. That can't be it. But there is something. And it's eating at you.
Jason, on the other hand, he knows you. He knows you want to meet up to check on him, yes. You’ll always want to check on him after any sort of fight with anyone. It’s what you do. But, he also knows you’re going to have questions about him attacking Dick and the other Titans. You tipped him off, sure, but maybe you didn’t think he was going to actually attack them. He knows you’re going to question him about it, probably lecture him. He doesn’t want to listen to it. He can’t listen to it. A part of him will want to break if he does and he knows it. He knows he will if he goes there clean. So, he doesn’t. He hits the inhaler and pockets it before heading to the alley.
Jason gets there first, hiding in the shadows until you show up. You’re on your bike, completely suited up. You don’t want anyone seeing you with him. Not the real you. Red Hood is pissing off a lot of people and you already have enough shit you’re dealing with. The last thing you want is a target painted on your civilian self for being seen with him.
You dismount the bike, popping the helmet on the handlebar as you look around. Jason walks out from the shadows, wearing the suit and the helmet. Of course, he is.
“I’m fine.” Jason states. You don’t like how the helmet makes him sound.
“Yeah, well, had to see for myself.” You let out a breath as you close the rest of the distance between you.
“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” Jason takes the helmet off and he isn’t smiling or grinning. His expression is flat and your heart starts to sink.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Jay?” You shake your head, Jason getting a hint of annoyance in your voice.
“I mean I’m fine.” He rolls his shoulders, his voice flat.
Your eyes are scanning over him and it’s dark but you’re pretty sure he doesn’t have any bruises. It seems either the helmet and suit did a good job of protecting him tonight or Dick didn’t get a hit in. That’s at the very least a small relief but Jason Todd has never been fine. You’re starting to think he doesn’t actually know the definition of the word.
“Right. You have said you’re fine a hundred times and not once have you actually been fine.” You cross your arms over your chest.
Jason’s teeth grit for just a split second. “Don’t fucking worry. I told you. I got this handled.” Jason holds the helmet on his hip, his stance strong and sturdy.
He’s different than he was yesterday. He was grinning and smirking because it’s him. Whenever he claims to be fine, he gives you a grin as if that’s going to melt your worry away. But, not tonight and he seems bored and defensive.
“Why are you being so…weird?” You raise a brow at him.
Jason brushes you off, thankful for the drug coursing through his system. He’d never be able to deal with this without it.
“I’m not weird.” Jason defends.
“Yeah, you are. You’re acting weird.” You argue.
You don’t get it and maybe you won’t ever. But, this is him now. He’s not acting weird because this is the new him. Red Hood, fearless. He has no worries or fears anymore, just a mission. Jason swears he’s not acting weird, you’re just expecting the old him.
“This is just the new me.” He lets out this sort of chuckle that doesn’t sit well in your stomach.
“Uh-huh. Right. You seemed…kind of normal last time but now you seem…off.” Your eyes scan over his face and your heart is in your throat, the formula running through your mind.
“Just glad to be doing what Bruce couldn’t.” Jason holds his head up high with ease.
“This conversation is going fucking nowhere.” You let out a sigh as you look to the ground.
You came here with the intent to be sure he’s fine. It was to get some sort of answer. A real, solid reason not to tell Dick anything. Dick is going to have so many questions when you get back tonight. All of them will be about Jason and what his new plan is now that he’s alive. You need a reason to keep what you do know to yourself and Jason is giving you every reason to be worried enough to talk to Dick.
“So, go home.” Jason scoffs but he’s not even offended or upset. It’s like he doesn’t even care.
Your attention snaps back to him. “What the fuck? I’m worried about you and you don’t even care?”
It’s not that he doesn’t care. The drug numbs part of that but not entirely. It can’t otherwise they wouldn’t be able to have a plan in the first place. Jason has to be able to care about the city and the people he’s trying to protect otherwise there is no plan. It’s not that he does not care, it’s that he doesn’t care to go through the arguing in circles game while you dig for information.
“What else did you want? I know you want something else.” Jason dodges the question on purpose, knowing he won’t even feel guilty about it.
A lump forms in your throat as he dodges the question. He comes back to life and is, generally, normal but now he’s not? How is that even possible?
“Dick knows you’re alive.” You swallow the lump and if he’s going to pretend like this doesn’t hurt him, fine, you’ll do the same.
“Yeah, broke my other helmet, had a backup though.” Jason looks down to the helmet on his hip and then back to you with ease, the very corners of his mouth twitching into a grin.
“Oh, I’m so glad you have a spare helmet, Jason.” You snark through a scoff. “Unbelievable.” You look down and this is not how you wanted this to go. “Why did you try to shoot him?”
“He was in the way.” Jason answers casually.
The Titans are going to get in the way and Dick is the leader. Without him, the Titans will fall apart. Crane is right about Dick. He thinks he’s better than Jason. He thinks he’s the golden child, and he always was to Bruce. Bruce couldn’t even be bothered to kill the Joker for Jason but he would have for Dick. Dick dropped him from a skyscraper. Dick got him kidnapped and tortured. This all comes back to him and Bruce.
Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head and you’re sick of the games with him right now. “Are fucking joking!?” You finally yell. This isn’t funny. Dick is his brother, he’s your friend. He could have killed him. What the fuck is wrong with him?
“Nope.” Jason gives you a grin. The drug loves confrontation.
This is not the Jason you once knew.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You glare up at him. “He’s in your way? Well, damn Jason, maybe don’t attack the fucking Titans.” You gesture your hands out as you shrug your shoulders.
Jason’s blood starts to boil as you yell. You swore you weren’t working with them but from where he’s standing, it sure as shit seems like you are. Crane said you would. Crane said you’d start working with them the second you found out what he was doing. Maybe he was right and it’s pissing Jason off. You’re supposed to be on his side.
“I thought you weren’t fucking working with them.” Jason seethes. You lied. You lied to him. Of course, you’re working with them. Maybe Crane was right about you, too.
But you tipped him off.
“I’m fucking not! But I give a shit about them. In case you forgot, Dick saved my life twice. Gar is our best friend. Conner saved your life. Kory fucking tried to save our lives. I know you care about them. Why the hell would you go after them?”
“Dick treats me like shit. I’m fucking no one to him. He thinks he’s so much better than me.” Jason scoffs. “You said Rachel was his lap dog, but look at you now.” Jason laughs cruelly as he closes some of the distance between you. “You’re the one screaming at me and defending him.” Jason shakes his head, looking down at you.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he were trying to intimidate you.
Maybe you don’t know better.
“You tried to kill him! He pisses me off sometimes, too but I don’t want him dead! I’m not his damn lap dog, either. I just don’t know what the hell is going on. And you won’t fucking tell me.” You grit your teeth, standing toe-to-toe with him.
“That’s because it’s none of your fucking business, but don’t worry, babe, you’ll see soon enough.” Jason offers this grin that you can’t tell is him taunting you or threatening you. And from here, with him nearly standing on top of you, you can see his eyes better.
His pupils are dilated and your heart is suddenly in your throat. On the one hand, making a drug and selling it to innocent people is really bad and you were hoping that was not it. But, on the other hand, a part of you thinks him taking something is worse in a way. The formula screams from the back of your head and Dick’s general concern about it, Jason’s weird and erratic behavior before he died. Him going after the Joker. He’s definitely high and you have no fucking idea how you missed that either or what even lead him here.
“Literally, are you high right now?” You question him, hoping against all odds whatever he’s on will make him tell you, like an overconfidence thing. “Because the Jason I know wouldn’t be laughing and trying to kill the Titans. The Jason I know wouldn’t be being such a fucking dick to me right now.”
Jason lets out a laugh, ignoring your question because he’s not playing into your hand. “So, go home.” There’s a wicked look in his eyes as he looks down at you. And it hurts. “This is me, new and improved.” There’s almost something threatening in the way his eyes darken to the deepest shade of evergreen you’ve ever seen.
“If you think this an improvement, I have news for you. The new you sucks.” You spit back.
It’s like the drug loves confrontation. It’s as if confrontation triggers something. The drug is supposed to suppress fear. That’s the point of it. But it seems to do a few other things. If confrontation starts, it’s like Jason gets an adrenaline boost but not in self-defense, instead, it’s more like skydiving. It’s actually fun, it doesn’t matter who the confrontation is with. It’s fun. Thrilling. Jason doesn’t realize that maybe that was Crane's plan. He’s a mad scientist. Maybe the drug is meant to suppress his fear but maybe it’s meant to control other parts of him in just the right way to do his bidding. Like using confrontation as another drug. Jason doesn’t see it. He can’t see it because the drug, at the end of the day, is Crane’s creation. Because Crane is the one pulling the strings behind the curtain.
And unfortunately for you, you’re kicking up the confrontation.
Jason’s smile falls as he shakes his head. There’s an anger that sparks across his eyes, something you’ve never directed at you. “Really? Not what you fucking said yesterday. Not what you said earlier today when you tipped me off.”
“You weren’t like this yesterday or earlier.” You argue, holding your ground.
Jason steps forward, making you take steps back until your back hits the alley wall behind you and your heart spikes. Your head isn’t throbbing but a very small part of you, is a little bit scared. This isn’t him. Jason wouldn’t try to kill Dick. Jason does not threaten you. But there’s a look in his eyes and if he’s willing to kill Dick and attack his friends, what’s he willing to do to you?
“Go. Home.” Jason warns.
The anger is flooding every aspect of him and he wants to give in. His brain says it's gonna be fun. It'll feel good to fight and argue. It'll be great to say everything that's crossing his mind right now. He won't feel guilty or fear or worry. It's it's own little high if he just gives in. Just a little bit. But the other parts fight hard with his teeth gritting together. He fights against the anger. Because it's you.
"What-what are you gonna do if I don't?" You lack venom in your voice because you're actually curious and worried what he'll do. For the first time in knowing him, you're worried what he might do. You know he won't do anything. You know he won't. If he were going to, he would have already. But it crosses your mind anyway.
His eyes are locked on yours and he wants to fight so bad. It's going to be fun and thrilling, it'll make him feel something incredible. But only for that moment, until the high wears off. That part of him that's still him, is banging and foaming at the mouth with a wailing cry, begging him to let it go and turn around. It's as if the drug is keeping the good parts of him locked away in a prison and Jason has to decide which side he's going to be on.
But it's you.
It's never really a thought at the end of the day.
Jason takes a step back, his fists balling at his sides. Not you.
"Just go and don't fucking tell anyone." Jason warns. "You promised you wouldn't and you said you don't break them. So, fucking don't." Jason uses your own words against you.
Relief starts to come over you and you've never seen him look at you like this. Dick is right. You hate that that thought is what comes to mind. Somehow, Dick is the one that's right here. This is not the Jason you know and love. He's high and something bad is coming from this. You're going to figure out what's going on, the full story, and you're going to get him back or die trying. He's in there, yesterday proved it.
"Fine." You agree because you aren't about to argue further when he's high. You don't want to see where this is going to go or how bad it can get. "But get your shit together, Jason. I'm serious." You move past him.
"Don't do anything stupid. I'm doing this." Jason huffs.
You shake your head and Dick can handle himself. You turn to face him. "You leave me and Gar the fuck out of your shit with Dick." You warn.
"Fine." Jason agrees. He never wants to hurt Gar anyway.
"Okay." You let out a reluctant sigh. "You know," You start as you turn to fully face him. "I'll figure it out, right? You know I will. I don't know what you need to do to prepare for that, but I will. And I'm gonna get you back." You hold your voice steady.
Jason raises a brow at you. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Jason swears you can't know what's really going on. You know about the formula but Jason also knows he left a code in it to throw you, specifically, off. He doesn't think you'll figure it out and he's not entirely sure how you know anything else. He wonders if he's really acting so differently that it's sending up enough red flags.
"I know you better than anyone. I'll figure it out." You turn around. "Not giving up on you, Jay." You grab your helmet from the bike and he should be angry.
He should be scared but all he can do is laugh and there he is. There's the Jason you know. The real Jason would find you being nonchalant and casual right after that exchange amusing. It's why you did it. He's in there somewhere and you're gonna get him back. You just saw him yesterday and Dick showed you the formula. You don't like that he has to be right but he clearly is. So, you'll get him back, you're certain.
"You gonna stay outta my way then?" Jason gives you that signature grin of his and something about it eases some of your own worry.
"Guess I'll have my hands full while I figure it out so..." He can't see it, but you're smirking under your mask and helmet.
"Good fucking luck." Jason states as you start up the bike. You nod your head once before you peel off into the street.
He should be worried you'll figure it out. But he isn't and not just because of the drug. If you're busy digging into him, that means you won't be around the Titans. That means he can continue on with the plan without having to make sure you're safe. He can be as free as he wants to execute the plan in whatever way is necessary. You won't be the one caught in the crossfire. Jason is confident you won't figure it out because you have too much faith in him. You'll never believe he went to Crane.
Or maybe that's just the drug talking.
When you get back to the Manor, you meet Dick in the kitchen who's still awake trying to figure out how the hell Jason is alive. You didn't provide any information and announced you'd be back before you just left him standig inside of Jason's grave. He's hoping maybe you're willing to give him some information now since you're the one that asked to talk.
Dick places a cup of coffee in front of you as he takes his own seat in front of you at the one of the kitchen counters. "What do you know?" Dick questions, cutting right to the chase.
On the way back, you bounced back and forth on what you'd say and what you wouldn't. Jason's using and that's a problem. He's attacking the Titans which is also a problem. And he's acting weird towards you. You like to believe you can handle most things on your own but it's never really gotten you anywhere and you can't afford to fuck this one up this time just because you're stubborn and loyal to a fault.
"Look, my loyalty lives and dies with him." You state before you raise your brows. "Well, I guess lives, dies, then lives again." You roll your eyes. "And I'm not gonna betray him but...I actually don't know much." You state. "I just knew he was alive, not really anything else. He called me yesterday and asked me to meet up with him. I did. And it was him."
"How did you know it was him?" Dick asks and he isn't sure if he should believe you. You left abruptly, likely to meet up with Jason and now you want to talk? But, he's willing to listen.
"You and me." You answer. "Something we always said. He mentioned the necklace he gave me." You state as Dick glances to the infinity charm around your neck. "There's a tracker in it but only he would know that. Bruce didn't know. At least, we don't think he knew Jason did that. Few other things but that was the big one." You chew the inside of your cheek. "He, uh, he seemed...normal all things considered."
Dick's eyes narrow and he finds it hard to believe that's all you know. Dick knows the two of you were thick as thieves and you'd both go to the ends of the Earth to defend each other. But, you did admit to knowing you knew when Dick asked and Dick is getting the feeling you aren't lying this time.
"And you don't know anything else?" Dick pushes.
You take a sip of your coffee before straightening your back and clearing your throat. Dick already knows about the drug and suspects Jason is using so telling Dick that sucks, but he already knows. It's just confirmation and telling Dick how Jason is alive doesn't seem too bad. It's a Lazurus Pit, that can't be too much information. But, you decide to keep Jason having a partner to yourself. It seems safer that way. If they're dangerous like Jason thinks they are, it should be safer to keep that to yourself. But, telling Dick everything else, might be helpful in getting the old Jason back. You hate yourself for it. You hope he'll understand one day, you hope Jason will forgive you for it.
You don't think you'll forgive yourself.
"Lazarus pit. That's what he said. He said he doesn't really know how it works but someone put him in it and brought him back. That's all." You leave out him working with someone, figuring maybe that's for his own protection.
"Ra's Al Ghul probably." Dick lets out a scoff.
"League of Assassins, right?"
Dick nods his head. "Yeah."
"Think they have something to do with it? Besides the Lazurus pit?"
Dick shakes his head. "No, they would have no reason to bring Jason back, and Ra's isn't even in Gotham."
"Alright, well what are you thinking?" You ask in hopes maybe Dick has some insight. At the end of the day, you know you have a bias. You know your emotions can get in the way when it comes to Jason but Dick can put all of that aside to see what he needs to.
"You said you know him better than anyone." Dick nods his head. "Was he using? When you saw him?"
You hang your head before you offer Dick a solemn expression. "I don't know if he was using before he died. If he was, he hid it well but..." You roll your shoulders, chewing the inside of your cheek and you really hope Jason understands one day. "He was high when I met up with him." You admit, catching Dick off guard. "He wasn't yesterday but he was tonight. And for the fucking record," You state harshly. "That is the only fucking reason I'm telling you anything."
Dick didn't want to believe Jason could be using either. It's a hard pill to swallow and the confirmation does hurt him. But, Dick isn't too surprised. He found the formula and that would explain why Jason went after the Joker and how you don't know much of anything. Jason wouldn't want you involved.
"He must have been high. Maybe that's why he went after the Joker that night. Maybe he was high." Dick keeps his voice level as you roll your eyes.
"Yeah, probably." You scoff with the shake of your head. "And I missed it all which is shit. But, you know," You suck in a breath. "There's more to it and I know you know that. Him making the fucking drug and then taking it is weird as shit even for him. With his mom and shit...it just..." You shake your head. "Doesn't make any sense."
"Maybe it's a favor for someone." Dick offers, agreeing that the drug use and making seems a bit uncharacteristic.
Jason said he's working with someone and you think maybe the drug is a part of that. Whoever he's working with had to be the same person that brought him back which means they'd have to know he died in the first place. Likely would know he was going out to die which also means the Joker plan was actually a plan. You run it over in your head and the more you think about it, the more it sounds like whoever did this, had him killed on purpose with the intention to manipulate him. If the drug is linked then so is everything else.
"He'd need a good enough motive for that though." You suck in a breath. "So, if that's true, it has to be the person who brought him back, right? But, I don't know who that is. Jason didn't say shit."
"Why wouldn't he tell you?" Dick asks. "He told you a lot, didn't he?"
"Yeah, fucking sucks being left out." You snip back. "But, yeah, I don't know. He just said he can't and that was the end of it." You shrug. "Jason has only kept things a secret from me out of self-preservation that's actually just self-destruction or to protect me. So, not too big a fan of this."
"Okay well, I need you to meet up with him again and talk to him." Dick states. "We need answers and if you keep pushing him, maybe he'll tell you more."
"That's not....that's not fair. Talk about what? You want me to meet up with him and tell him to stop fucking around? And tell me everything as if I didn't already do that?" You huff. "What do you think I went to do tonight? I went for fucking answers and got none besides finding out he's high which he did not tell me. It was just obvious."
"If anyone can get to the bottom of it, it would be you. Like you said you know him better than anyone. He didn't tell me or Gar he was alive. He was shooting at me. But, he got you to meet up with him and told you first. You already know more than any of us so even if this is a new version of him that came back, the old Jason is in there somewhere. Enough to trust you." Dick tries his best to reason with you even if he knows it might be a waste of his breath.
"So, you want me to betray him?" You quip back, guilt rattling your bones like a storm cellar in the middle of a tornado.
Jason trusts you and that's not something you would ever take lightly. The one thing the two of you have always had with each other is trust. From the very first day, there has been this trust between you. It's just how it is and you getting any information and telling Dick, would be a betrayal of trust. Anything Jason says to you, you know without him even saying anything, is in confidence because it always is just as it is for you. You do not want to ever betray him, not after everything.
"No," Dick shakes his head. "It's not betrayal."
"He's gonna tell me not to tell you shit. And we both know I will listen to him." You urge and you do not want to be in the middle of it but you can't betray him. Everyone always does and you will not be like everyone else. "You want me to pick sides and look, okay? I know you guys are good and cleared up your shit and you're brothers but you are the like...leader of the Titans. That's where your loyalty lies. Gar, Kory, Conner, Dawn, Hank, they're all Titans. They will side with you. They all would follow you no matter what. Who the fuck does Jason have? That's what this shit always boils down to. He doesn't have anyone, Dick. It's just....him and me." You roll your shoulders.
"What if it saves him from himself?" Dick nods his head.
"What if it gets him killed permanently?" You question.
"You can still try. You don't have to turn on him. If he doesn't tell you not to tell us, you can come back and tell us." Dick offers, trying his best to be a voice of reason. He knows this is hard but Jason is out there killing people, innocent people, and now he's targeting the Titans. He needs to be stopped, regardless on how you feel about it.
"It's always shit said in confidence though. That's how it always is. If...if I do that, hard if, how are we supposed to come back from that? I would have been another person that betrayed his trust. It doesn't fucking matter what he's doing. I can't do that." You shake your head as you plead with Dick. "I'm not a Titan right now. My loyalty is still with him. And I don't want in the middle of it." You state. "Look, I don't even really disagree with him. He said he's cleaning up Gotham and like I said, Bruce's ways don't work. Jason, clearly, is on the same page."
"But you're having this conversation with me right now and that tells me at least some part of you doesn't agree."
"Yeah, I don't agree with him coming after the Titans and I'm worried about the drug side of this. That's the only reason we're even discussing this. I will always be on his side. I don't know if there's anything he can do that would make me quit. And this is hard enough as it is, Dick." You chew the inside of your cheek, tugging your sleeves over your hands. "I don't think he'll forgive me for telling you anything and I can't....I can't betray him more than this."
You know, without a doubt, if the roles were reversed, Jason would never give up on you. You won't do it to him, either.
"Do you believe this is all Jason? He woke up from the dead and chose this?"
It's something that's been bothering her. Him waking up and choosing this is not far-fetched. Him dying, choosing this, and neglecting to tell anyone including her about it, that's the weird part. Sam doesn't know what happened when he died but she has to believe that there is more going on. There has to be more than him just dying and neglecting to tell her anything. There has to be.
"I don't know." You shrug. "I did. He died and I chose this. So, I don't know." You clear your throat because as much as you want to believe this is all Jason, you know there's more. And you're terrified it's going to get bad. He went after Dick and this is more than Jason just trying to fight him in the Tower. "Okay, look, yeah I think something bad is going on. It is weird. I didn't decide to become a crime lord and make a drug. If, hard if, he tells me something I think I can get away with telling you, I will. But only if Jason gives me a reason to." You shake your head deciding that would be okay. Jason has to give you a reason though.
Dick nods his head and he knew it would be a long shot. "Okay."
Dick hopes you'll actually tell him anything. He needs answers and he'll keep digging himself, but you would be a big help in all of this. But, he knows the two of you have loyalty that runs deeper than the Titans.
"But," You suck in a breath. "This stays between us. I don't want the other Titans to know. They'll freak out. Well, Hank and Dawn anyway." You roll your eyes. "You know Gar, he'll believe Jason is in there somewhere. Conner doesn't know him well enough but he'll probably side with Gar or follow you anyway. Kory was the only one who didn't accuse Jason of anything. So, but if you tell one of them then you have to tell everyone so...stays between us."
You do not want Jason to figure out you're even having a conversation about working with Dick. That can't happen because you already said you won't work with the Titans. There is a reason Jason wants you out of it. If the Titans know you already knew and Dick and you had a conversation, that'll send up a red flag if it gets back to Jason somehow. And the Titans trust Dick. It has to stay between you and Dick.
"Deal." Dick sticks his hand out and you shake it. "I know this is hard but you're doing the right thing."
"If you say so." You roll your eyes. "That also means you have to get Gar off my back though. I can't go trying to meet up with Jason and Gar is right there. He won't tell me shit if Gar's around."
"Can you stop killing people?" Dick questions as he raises his brows.
You narrow your eyes. "Just while you're in town and while we sort this shit out. Got my hands a little full with Jason's shit. I still have a whole hitlist to get through, though." You raise your mug at him.
"That's not funny." Dick wanrs.
"It's not a joke." You chuckle. "I know you don't agree with me but I promise I'm not killing people who don't deserve it. I can give you their endless rap sheets. Guy I killed tonight while you guys were busy was lacing drugs and selling directly to kids and I mean like middle schoolers. He's been put away ten fucking times. They just keep letting him out. He's gotten over a hundred kids killed. Those are the fucks I'm killing. You don't have to agree with me but you should try to understand my point of view of it." You point a finger at him.
"I do." Dick nods his head. "Less kids people like him can kill but where do you draw the line?"
"Do you want to know? I have a line. They have to meet certain criteria otherwise I just scare the ever-living shit out of them and rough them up real bad."
"You have criteria?" Dick asks, his voice a mix of being appalled and confused.
"Yeah, I agree with you. We can't go out playing judge, jury, and executioner all the damn time. That's not justice. But, the system fails to protect people like me and you and Jason and Molly. It always has. It didn't protect my dad, who albeit is still a piece of shit probably, but he was hooked when he was in school. It didn't help Jason's mom. It looks at us and laughs in our faces and tells us to deal with it because we can't do anything about it. I'm doing that and hey, Jason's off his damn rocker, but he's targeting some bad people."
"Are you going to be able to live with yourself with their blood on your hands? I think that's why Jason stopped you from killing Jerry. He didn't want you to have that on your conscious."
"You know," You furrow your brows as you shake your head. "I killed some of CADMUS. And uh, I mean, I feel bad about it a little. I killed people, that's a heavy thing to carry. But, they tried to kill me, Gar, Conner, and Krypto. They tortured them. I feel bad because I'm not a monster but I also know it's what had to be done. I kill these guys and it's like...I feel bad. Someone out there gives a fuck about them. Someone out there is going through what I went through when Jason died. I feel bad for them. And I feel bad for taking a life but then I look at how many people they've either permanently hurt or killed, and I'm keeping track. I'm keeping track of every person I save by killing them. And I feel less bad about it. I feel bad because they were a person with a life and a beating heart. But, I can live with it because of the list of people I'm saving in the process. That sounds a little, uh, egotistical but it's true. That's why there's a criteria. Killing one person by accident doesn't mean they get to die. That's not justice. It's gotta be bad. Batman walks the streets and it doesn't stop these fucks. I feel bad about it, but....it's better than them killing and torturing people with no reason to stop."
"So, you think Bruce was right for throwing all of his morals away to kill the Joker?"
You let out a snort. "No, but that's not because of his morals and shit. I think anyone is capable of throwing their morals away for certain shit without it actually changing their moral compass, like Bruce killing the Joker." You explain as you sip your coffee. "But, I think it's fucked Jason had to die. None of the other people mattered enough to do something permanent about him. It took Jason's brutal murder for him to finally do something and I gotta problem with that. If anyone should have killed him, it should have been me. He killed my mom and he took Jason. Bruce only did it for Jason. I think, if you're gonna kill people for the greater good, it shouldn't be because of one single person. It should be for the greater good. There should be a list of reasons why you're killing someone. A list of reasons why they have to die. I gave Bruce all of those reasons and those weren't enough. Jason was. And that's not fucking fair to every other person that had to suffer by the hands of the Joker. So, no, fuck Bruce for killing him now. What's he gonna do? Come back and welcome Jason with open arms as if he isn't the reason Jason was murdered in the first place? Fucking stupid."
"Have you been thinking about all this this whole time?" Dick can't help but chuckle.
"Yeah," You shake your head. "And Jason but....that's been a topic I don't so much like to think about lately. So, I made a hit list." You smile softly. "Got a list of bad people to get through that Bruce won't do shit about."
"So, what you gonna go off after the Penguion next? Does he fall under your criteria since the Joker's gone?" Dick quips back, mostly digging to make sure you aren't planning on doing something like Jason.
"Nah, I think he's a fun little guy." You let out a laugh. "Something about him makes me laugh. He's bad, too sure, but he's not...that bad in the grand scheme of shit. Ya know? Penguin, sometimes helps here and there. He's not evil."
"You've had the pleasure of meeting him, then, I'm guessing?" There's a smile tugging at Dick's lips.
"Oh yeah. We went after him for something with Bruce once and I just thought he was funny. He was so serious and somehow not. If the camp genre were a person, it would be Penguin. So, I start actually laughing which then made him really mad and naturally made the whole thing that much funnier to me. So, Jason starts bursting out laughing at the top of his lungs. We're both doubled over and Penguin's face starts turning all red and he was stomping his foot. He starts yelling at Bruce to get us to stop and take him seriously and we don't know who we're messing with." You shake your head mockingly as you laugh. "His goons were trying desperately not to laugh with us!" You say through a hearty laugh. "I thought Bruce was gonna blow. But, I think he wanted to laugh, too."
"Yeah, he's always been a fun one to deal with." Dick chuckles softly. "I used to give him hell. Make fun of him. When I was Robin."
"Good, it's a lot of fun." You laugh. "I mean, he's like you. He goes by fucking Penguin and you go by Dick. You guys are setting yourself up for the jokes."
"I can't believe you just compared me to Penguin." Dick deadpans before a small smile cracks the corner of his lips.
"Facts don't lie, Dickolas."
You take another drink of your coffee and Dick is trying to be a better leader. You're going through it. Somehow, you're the one stuck in the middle of everything and you're the one most likely to be hurt in this mess. The person you care about most died and is now lying to you and fighting your friends. This can't be easy.
"Really, how did it go with Jason?" Dick asks, earning an eyebrow raise from you. "I'm asking for you, not for information."
"You being caring is kind of freaking me out." You chortle before you shake your head as a side smile starts to come to your lips. "Good, I think." You nod. "Ya know, Jason remembers everything. About us..." Your brows furrow tightly as your face falls. "And he said he remembers dying. So, there's that. Uh, but he seemed...mostly normal, actually besides the hair." You gesture to the front of your head as you crack a small smile.
"Yeah, I saw that. What's up with that anyway?" Dick chuckles. "At least he seemed okay. He told you he remembers dying?"
"Side effect of the Lazarus Pit, I guess." You shrug a shoulder. "He didn't want to talk about it, remembering dying I mean. But he said he remembers." You clear your throat. "So, that's a little worrisome. Ya know, given how Jason deals with trauma which is that he literally does not." You roll your eyes. "But, at least he's alive ya know? Being a shithead again but alive."
"Yeah, that's true. Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah, just need some time to process it." You clear your throat. "When you tell the Titans and half of them inevitably flip out because I knew, let them. I'll be fine." You hop down from your seat. "Like I said, they trust you. Keep it that way. They won't trust me regardless. We all know my loyalty is with him. They can't know you knew I knew. I'll be fine. I've told them off before." You start your walk to the doorway. "Night, Dick." You offer a soft smile and a nod before you spin on your heels and leave Dick alone.
Gar wakes you up the following day, saying Dick has called a meeting with everyone. You know exactly what the meeting is about and everything starts to ache from the pit of your stomach. It sucks that they're all going to know you knew and didn't tell anyone. And it sucks because that also means they'll know it's Jason under the Red Hood and maybe they won't be so forgiving. They never have been with him.
But you walk with Gar to the main living room anyway. You take a seat beside Gar with Krypto sitting at your feet and the other Titans are scattered around. Dick stands in front of all of you with his arms crossed.
Once everyone is gathered, Dick starts telling you all how he broke Red Hood's helmet last night and it was Jason. He follows it by saying he dug up Jason's grave to verify it was him. You find it weird no one even bats an eye at the grave digging but of course they don't. You keep your stare on Krypto as you pet him, knowing one of them is going to accuse you of knowing as soon as Dick finishes his explanation. You can feel Gar's stare on you and without even looking at him, you know he figured it out. And it nearly kills you because you feel like you betrayed him and that's not fair. Jason put you in the middle of it.
"You knew, didn't you?" Hank glares directly at you.
You look up to him and suck in a breath. "Well..." You shrug, scrunching your nose.
"What the hell?!" Gar yells. "And you didn't tell me!?" Gar stares at you in disbelief and you can handle Hank. He's an ass anyway but Gar? You'll never forgive yourself for keeping it from him even if it was just two days.
"Well, kind of yeah." You chew the inside of your cheek, looking away from Gar.
"And you didn't think to tell any of us?" Kory demands.
You chew your lip. You know you or Dick will tell Kory the entire story eventually and she'll understand but it hurts anyway. "He asked me not to and you all know how deep my loyalty runs with him." You glance to Dick and he doesn't like that this is what they're doing. They're not going to trust you.
"Did you know he was going after the Joker that night? Was this the plan the whole time?" Dawn questions.
It's better that they don't trust you. It's easier for you to pick a side. You need to work Jason's angle but you cannot do that if they know. Jason is smart and he'll figure it out. So, you have to swallow your guilt and stick with being solely and entirely on Jason's side just as you always have been.
"You think I knew?" You scoff. "Like that whole thing? You think I knew and just...let him do it?" You look to Dick again, as if waiting for him to add something in. He's the leader.
"You knew he was alive." Dick adds in.
"Knowing he's alive and knowing what he was up to are two very different things." You state.
"Why should we believe you?" Hank demands. "You've been lying to us the whole time!" Hank fumes as if that's going to get him anywhere.
"Because? I wouldn't let him get himself killed. In case you forgot." You retort as you scrunch your face. It is actually ridiculous Hank thinks you knew Jason was going after the Joker and let him do it. The anger starts to wash over any guilt you had just minutes ago.
"Hey! We apologized for that shit!" Hank yells. "How do we know you didn't know he was going to get killed on purpose and get brought back. Pretty convenient, isn't it?" Hank spits.
You can feel your blood start to boil. You knew this is what was going to happen but it's annoying anyway. It's the fact they think you would let him get killed. It's the fact they think he would go out and get killed on purpose. They didn't even really know him. They don't really know you. They think your grief was all fake. You get they don't believe you, you can see why. But it's also absurd. They should be mad you didn't tell them, but they should believe you would do everything in your power to stop him from going after The Joker. They should believe Jason wouldn't get killed on purpose. This is all so absurd and you aren't going to let them drag you and Jason through the mud when they don't know anything.
You nod and let out a dry and narrowed chuckle. "You know how you can believe me? Call Bruce, hunt him down, hunt down the phone records or whatever, listen to the phone call." You look to Dick. "You can ask Babs if she thinks my reaction was fucking fake. You can ask Molly who found me on the bathroom floor. I don't care but I didn't fucking know and fuck you for thinking I did." You look back to Hank with glassy eyes. "Do you know what it's like to try CPR knowing it's useless? I was covered in his blood. I didn't fucking know and he didn't get killed on fucking purpose."
"You really didn't know." Gar says quietly.
"Nope." You shake your head. "I found out two days ago."
"What about the drug? Did he say anything?" Dick asks, hoping that can calm the room down. He doesn't think you knew any of it.
"Nope. I wouldn't let him make a drug. Ask Bruce, I told him I was gonna call you and have you bring us back. Bring him back kicking and screaming if we had to."
"Are you supposed to believe this shit?" Hank yells out, gesturing a hand towards you. "Dick, come on, she's been lying to us this damn whole time. He was prepared for us to show up last night. She tipped him off!"
"Hey, fuck you!" You scream back. "Maybe he was just fucking prepared. It was a damn code! I didn't tip him off!"
"I don't fucking believe this shit!" Hanks storms.
"That's a you problem then." You quip. "Can I go now? This is you guys problem."
"No, we're not done here." Hank boasts.
"Okay, so finish up." You snark back.
"Look, Jason did this to himself and we need to find out what else he's planning." Hank crosses his arms. "He needs to be stopped."
You let out this laugh that sounds both heartbroken and pissed. "Okay."
"I always knew something was off about that kid." Hank scoffs.
"Fuck." You yell. "Seriously?" Your eyes start to water. "What the fuck is...." You pause, looking to Gar. "You know what, you're not fucking worth it. You're just gonna sit here and victim blame anyway. Have ya noticed the rest of the room is simply...confused and not losing their shit? That's just you, pal."
"He isn't a fucking victim!" Hank scoffs with a laugh. "He got himself into this mess. He could have walked away!"
"How can you say he isn't a victim? I know he told you! His mom being an addict and neglectful, yeah, victim. His dad was abusive, victim. The system? In and out of shitty foster homes, victim. Bruce took Robin away without ever having a conversation about it, victim. You...treat him like shit, victim. All of you made him want to kill himself, victim. The Joker murdered him with a crowbar, victim." You scoff. "You're not a fucking hero and I think you're the one that needs to hang up the cape and mask if you can't grasp the simple concept of a victim."
"We all have bad experiences but we're not looking to get ourselves killed and start killing." Dawn states softly.
"I'm not out there killing people." Hank grits his teeth at you "He needs to be stopped and whoever the hell he's working with, whether you like it or not, kid." Hank scoffs as he moves towards the hallway.
You aren't done yet though. You do not like Hank and if he's really going to point the blame at Jason for everything that led him here, you're going to get under his skin.
"Before you go, if I did know more, I wouldn't tell you guys anyway. I'm killing people, too and you guys don't have an issue with that. Just Jason. So, uh, you guys are on your own with this one. I'm with him." You grin back at Hank and you want to push him further. Really drive home the point you're not with them. You also just don't like him. His apology seemed more hollowed and like he was doing it because Dawn said it was the right thing to do.
"We're not playing fucking games here!" Hank yells and Dick wants to know what you're doing. You could have let him walk off and let it rest. But it is you. You don't usually do that when it comes to Jason.
"Oh, I'm not playing games either. But I know him better than anyone so while you guys are thinking poorly of him, I'll be on his side actually listening to him like I always have which then I'll get more information and I'm not sharing." You shake your head with a grin.
"Hey, kid, we're not messing around." Hank threatens. "You're gonna tell us what you know, or we're switching teams. You won't like that."
You let out a booming laugh. "Yeah, Hank? And uh, what the fuck are you gonna do about it?" You question him with a sinister grin as you get to your feet. "Gonna fight me? Torture me? Threaten to kill me? Go for it. Here's a statistic for you: Torture doesn't work. It's been proven. People are more likely to give you false information just to get it to stop. And considering the fact I was tortured for a year and nearly murdered twice, that shit does not scare me. You'll have to kill me before you get to him. And if it comes down to that, I'll have given him the heads up."
"Unbelievable." Dick sighs.
"Told you, I'd hide a body for him."
"I don't want to kill him." Dick states.
"I will." Hank scoffs. "If it ends up him versus me, kid's going down."
"So, we're killing Jason now?" Dawn questions, almost appalled. She's confused by the whole thing but you're right. The Jason you all know isn't a murderer. There is something else going on and they don't kill their own.
"Jason's always had his issues but he wasn't a full-blown psychopath." Kory adds in.
"I still think he was using. The Batcomputer didn't find anything but I found the place he was cooking." Dick states.
"He wrote his own ticket. He starts taking people out, game's over." Hank scowls.
"And you'll have to go through me, Hank." You step past Krypto, taking a few steps towards Hank. "You're not gonna kill him. I might not be able to take on Dick, but you?" You laugh. "In my sleep." Hank steps forward, Dick stopping him. "Ohhh, scary." You mock him. "I'm not fucking afraid of you." You mock him and then it hits you.
The conversation with Jason, a cure for fear. You said it would affect his adrenaline. He wouldn't care for things. It would have side effects besides just getting rid of his fear. He made a drug. He's working with someone. The way he was acting weird yesterday. He attacked Dick. Jason went after the Joker and missed the Joker right behind him. Drug that cures fear would also block out basic instincts like someone lurking behind him. Drug that cures fear.
You're gonna kill him.
You shake your head. "Here's the deal, figure it out yourselves because I'm not fighting him and I'm not betraying him. Ever. I don't fucking care. Now, I've got some shit to do so if you'll excuse me." You walk up to Dick. "You have that formula?"
Dick eyes you with confusion, pulling the paper from his pocket. "Why?"
"Told you, I'm gonna figure it out and I'm not sharing." You snatch the paper from him and leave the Titans to themselves.
"Thanks for the backup, man." Hank turns to Dick.
"Let it go, Hank." Dick lets out a sigh. "I believe her. You should, too." Dick leaves the room.
You head to your room and sit down on the bed with the formula. You pull out the tablet and start working on it. You do research into some of the files Bruce has, trying to figure it out. You make a lot of progress on it but there's a part of it that doesn't make sense. It's not a chemical or a compound. It doesn't actually mean anything. And you're thinking Jason prepared for this.
You think Jason prepared for someone to find it. Dick did it his first day which means he didn't really hide it. Jason is smart. And clearly likes codes. Maybe he should have teamed up with the damn Riddler. That might be better than what you're thinking because you have suspicions this missing piece of the formula is a code for something he didn't want anyone to figure out. And you were never very good with codes but you know someone who might be.
You make your way inside of the restaurant where you see Mr. Drake behind the counter. You offer him a kind smile, stuffing your hands deep into your jacket pockets.
"Hey, haven't seen you in awhile. The usual?" He asks.
"Uh, yeah, but um...I was actually wondering if, uh, if Tim were around? I promise I'm ordering the usual." You let out a soft laugh as you roll your shoulders.
"Yeah, of course." Mr. Drake looks over his shoulder. "Tim! Come out here, please."
Tim walks out a few seconds later, stumbling slightly over a box. Tim sees you and he's surprised to see you. Tim is very observant and he knows something that no one else has been able to figure out. He thought you might be down and out for a while because of it.
"Hey." Tim greets with confusion.
"Hey, do you like puzzles? Like codes." You rush out, trying to make it sound casual. "Genius."
"Uh..." Tom chuckles softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"
"Can you help me with one?"
Tim walks from behind the counter, resting a hand on your arm and moving you both off to the side. "Are you okay?" Tim questions and he's known you a little through the years, not really well. But, he thinks he knows you well enough to know something weird is going on. Your boyfriend just died. "I saw Jason...on the news." Tim states.
Your eyes widen, somehow forgetting that naturally all of Gotham who watches any bit of the news or keeps up with things on social media would know Bruce Wayne's newest son was killed in a 'tragic accident'. Of course, Tim knows that.
"Right, yeah, no, uh, it's been really fucking hard. I, I just can't focus on it. I'll start crying. Thank you though." You brush it off and you wish you didn't have to lie so damn much.
"Why do you need help?" Tim's brows furrow, not buying it.
"It's a game kind of." You roll your shoulders. "I mean, you're really smart so..."
"Don't you live with Bruce Wayne? Isn't Dick Grayson back, too? They're really smart. Why are you coming to me?" Tim crosses his arms and he's definitely digging for information.
"If you can't help, that's fine. But I thought it was worth a shot." You shrug and you used the Batcomputer to look into him.
You've talked every time you've come to get food. You don't have many friends. And Molly is smart but not like this and you can't risk Molly going to Dick about it. Tim doesn't know any of them well enough to go back to Dick. And Jason probably won't figure out you went to Tim given you tend to keep Jason's secrets locked away with all of yours.
"Come on." Tim gestures for you to follow him and you offer him a wide smile.
You follow Tim into the side door through part of the building that leads into a hallway. Tim opens a door further down the empty hallway and walks right in with a sense of pride. You see an entire set up of computers and crime boards. On the walls, he has pictures of the Titans and Robin and Batman. He's definitely doing research into all of them and you think it's funny. You both always talked about who Batman and Robin could be but you did expect him to literally be putting together actual research, not like this. Him looking into Batman and Robin is kind of whatever at this point, but the Titans has your interests piqued.
"You looking into the Titans?" You gesture a finger lazily to one of the walls with pictures and news articles.
Tim holds his head up high. "I know you're a Titan." Tim holds the most confident grin you have ever seen.
You do a double take. "What?"
"You're a Titan. Acid generation, I'm guessing combat clairvoyance, too." Tim explains with ease.
Your brows furrow and you have no idea how the hell he even knows that. He hasn't been able to figure out Batman and Robin for years, but he figured you out in only a few months? A part of you is actually offended. You swore you did a better job of hiding your identity than Dick and Jason did.
"I'm not a Titan? They're from San Francisco and I'm definitely born and raised right here which you know." You raise.
"But you were uprooted, two years ago to San Francisco." Tim walks over to a desk and pulls out a file, handing it over.
You take it cautiously and you hope he knows this whole thing is weird. But, you open the files anyway and it contains information on Jerry and where you moved to. Which only makes you question how he got this because those records are supposed to be sealed.
"How the fuck did you get this?" You close the file, waving it slightly.
Tim shrugs. "I'm good with computers."
"You hacked into CPS and the GCPD to get this?" Your eyes narrow and he's definitely completely insane for this. What if he were wrong? You do admire the dedication though.
"And SFPD." Tim adds in. "Jerry was beat up pretty bad but it was just...brushed off. I think it was you. They found someone there, but it wasn't you."
"Okay, there's so much wrong with all of this, like you know that, right?" You ask. "And why the hell were you looking into me? I'm not a Titan and this is weird."
"I know it's you. The acid really gives you away. And I recognized how you walked." Tim explains. "And I've been looking into all of the Titans so..."
"You...what? You know how I walk? Do you know how insane that sounds or?" You're trying desperately to think of a lie for him to believe but at this point, you're not sure there's anything you can really say. He has it all figured out with you.
"I have a photographic memory." Tim states. "And the acid isn't some run-of-the-mill acid. It's a specific chemical compound. It's like a fingerprint."
"Okay, I'll humor this for a minute. If you live in Gotham and the girl you're thinking is me is from San Francisco, how exactly do you know the chemical compound of Bluejay and the Titan are the same?"
"The internet." Tim scoffs. "There are forums dedicated to you guys."
"Haven't you ever heard not to believe everything you read online?"
Tim chuckles softly. "Okay, I also know who Nightwing is, Batman...Robin." Tim looks to the ground with the last word and your face falls.
"Yeah, you sound insane," You let out a huff but if Tim does know this might be a problem for Dick later so you'll humor this a little longer. "I am interested in all of this though, so how do you know all of this?"
"Dick Grayson is Nightwing, former Robin. Robin1.0. Dick Grayson was in the Flying Graysons and he can perform a certain trapeze trick that only two people in the world could perform. Dick and his father. You know who else can do that trick? Nightwing and Robin 1.0." Tim explains with excitement as if he's been dying to share this with someone. "Bruce took in Dick and if Dick is Robin, Bruce has to be Batman." Tim continues. "I knew another Robin came in because the fighting style was different, the way he walked, the height difference."
"That's what I pointed out, too, to be fair." You point out.
"Exactly, well, Bruce Wayne took in Jason Todd." Tim looks away. "And...well..." Tim sucks in a breath.
"Robin 2.0 and Jason died around the same time, right?" You fill in what Tim doesn't want to say.
Tim nods shyly. "Yeah, and I recognized how he walked, too when you introduced us that day." Tim clears his throat. "So, if Dick is Nightwing, he's a Titan. Jason would have also been a Titan. That's how you met them. Now you live with Bruce during the same time Bluejay shows up."
You think about it for a second and actually, how has no one else figured that out? It is actually so obvious. But, you can't tell Tim that. He might be your friend but there's a lot going on and Dick and Bruce's secrets aren't yours to tell, even when you're mad at Bruce. It's not your place. And, honestly, you're a little worried what would happen if Jason ever found out Tim knew, especially right now. Would it paint a target on his back? To know Red Hood is Jason Todd? You won't risk it.
"Solid theory, I'll give you that but I also know Bruce and Dick. And uh, Bruce isn't a hero and Dick is a good detective, that's all. I'm just trying to survive. So, your math is a little off. But, I do need your help so we can keep going back and forth or you can help me." You change the subject before Tim gets any further into this. Dick is going to lose it.
"Alright, what is it?" Tim lets out a sigh but he knows he'll come back to it.
"Okay, I have this bit." You hand him a piece of paper where you traced the letters. "I don't know what it means but I know it's a code for something. And I think some of these chemicals are codes for real chemicals or something. They're not real so..."
"What's it for?" Tim quirks a brow as he gives you a grin.
"That's for me to figure out after you tell me what it means." You smile cheekily at him.
"You want my help but you're not gonna tell me?"
"No." You laugh. "It's just a project, it's not relevant."
"Okay." Tim sighs, walking over to one of the tables and you follow him.
Tim is definitely being so forthcoming because he knows he's right. He's helping a Titan right now. He's so sure of it and that's why you won't tell him anything. He had his suspicion of you and Jason. When you both came in, you both usually had some sort of bruise on you. And Tim had already figured out Jason was Robin. You were an easy puzzle piece to place after that. And he's definitely going to help a Titan.
"Got some of the chemicals for you." Tim states after a few minutes, showing you some of his work. You spent an hour on that and couldn't figure it out. How does he do that?
You look over the paper and you recognize a few of the chemicals but nothing rings a bell. "Huh." You mutter. "Anything else?"
"What are the chemicals used for?" Tim questions.
"I don't know." You shrug, only half lying. "I'm not a chemist." You quip. "What about the actual title? I mean that has to be a clue."
Tim works for what only seems to be a minute before he slides the paper over with pride. "Fear." Tim states, Tim leans back in his chair with a confident smile but he watches as your face falls.
"What?" You question as you look at the paper hastily.
"Says fear." Tim states. "That's the code."
You look back at him. "You sure?"
"Positive. Why? Is that important?" Tim raises a brow as he watches you carefully.
You were really hoping you'd be wrong but a drug leading to fear, Jason is working with someone that's dangerous. He won't tell you anything. Of all people and of all things Jason would be doing, he's doing this shit?
"Oh, that fucking dumbass." You grit your teeth. "Thank you, this is very helpful. I'm gonna go grab my food and be on my way." You let out a sigh, hopping down from the table as you grab the papers from Tim.
"Wait!" Tim calls after you as you're already headed for the door.
"I can pay you if you want, for your time. Really, I really really appreciate this." You let out a sigh.
"No, not that." Tim shakes his head. "What is it?"
You look at his board with all of the Titans and he's got it all figured out. He'll be fine. "You're really smart. Thank you. Don't do anything fucking stupid, though and be careful. Looking into that shit, might get a little messy." You pause and he's got it figured out. There's no stopping him but you aren't going to risk Scarecrow of all people, figuring out you involved him. "Hey, seriously, do not tell anyone we had this conversation. I was here for food, the usual, end of story. No one."
Tim nods his head. "Are people--"
"Nope, it's, uh, it's a-a murder mystery game we play." You lie. "Everyone is just trying to get my mind off it, ya know?" You suck in a breath. "And don't go telling people you think Bruce and Dick are the heroes. They'll also think you're insane and you'll get yourself committed."
"Isn't that cheating?" Tim raises.
"No, using my resources but they may not see it that way which is why you can't tell anyone." You grin before you turn on your heels and head out.
You head to the place you found Jason sneaking off to before he died. You caught him doing something and you hate to think this is what he was doing behind your back. Making a drug. It's insane to you. Jason was desperate but you had no idea he was that desperate. Of all the things for Jason to do, make a drug and possibly work with Jonathan Crane. He's the maker of the fear gas and he's dangerous. If anyone can make an anti-fear drug, it would be Crane. And you just can't believe Jason would be desperate enough to go to him but you have to know for sure.
Inside the room, you see he does in fact have his own lab. Dick wasn't lying. He really was here, behind your back, making this drug. You're so mad at him. How does he resort to this? How? Because of Robin? He never should have thought Robin was all he'd ever be good at. Jason believed Robin gave him magic. It starts and ends with Robin and Bruce. That's what this always boils down to and you're so angry at Jason and Bruce for it.
Your heart breaks the further you walks into the room, checking out the table where he still has everything laid out. And you still can't believe it. But, you need to know. If you're wrong, you can deal with that on your own. Jason is your responsibility. But, if you're right...you don't think you can keep that to yourself. You don't think you can handle that, not alone. It's going to be more than just getting Jason clean to get him back home. You aren't sure you can do it on your own. You know it's bad science but there's only one way to know for sure without bringing anyone else into this. Jason won't tell you anyway so you lay the formula on the table and get to work.
Jason did the hard part. And he didn't cover his tracks which you can't figure out why he wouldn't. If it was so dyer no one knows what's going on, why would he leave everything out? Why would he even leave the formula out with a clue? Unless that was the point. Jason likes to play games. It's what he does. Maybe that was the point. He coded the formula, leaving it out on purpose just to fuck with Dick and Bruce. You're surprised Dick didn't figure it out but again, maybe that's because even Dick wouldn't think Jason is crazy and desperate enough to go to fucking Scarecrow.
You finish the drug within an hour, the orange liquid loaded into an inhaler Jason left behind. You hold it up and debate it. Taking an unknown drug is a terrible idea. Taking any drug is a bad idea. And this could be a setup. Jason could have left it on purpose, knowing someone would figure it out and maybe take it to see. But you find that to be a long shot because what insane person finds a formula to make a drug and then takes it? Dick wouldn't do that and if this is about Dick, given Jason just tried to kill him, Jason would know Dick wouldn't just take a dug.
You know Jason better than anyone and Jason knows you. You put yourself in Jason's shoes, deciding maybe he'd know you'd figure it out eventually and do something completely idiotic like follow his footsteps which means this wouldn't be a setup. You settle on that logic and put the inhaler to your mouth before pressing the canister down and inhaling at the same time.
Your pupils dilate, your iris turning a bright shade of yellow-orange. And it all melts away.
The guilt you feel with not pestering Jason, him dying, not following him. Everything starts to fade away. The sadness of it all is there but it's more like a distant echo in a deep underground cave. There, but just barely. The guilt feels more like walking through fog instead of barbed wire ripping your throat to shreds. And, for the first time since you left Gotham, you aren't paranoid. You don't feel paranoid or scared. It's all completely gone. Every ounce of it. There's still this small sense of worry but the sadness, it's more of an echo.
The sadness, guilt, paranoia, and worry are caged deep inside the darkest parts of your mind. Screaming and howling to be let free again but the drug stands guard, laughing over their desperate cries. A sinister cackle echoing over everything else, clouding them so they can't break through. And for the first time, you get how Jason got here.
This is nice. You don't feel like you're weighted down anymore. In a way, it actually feels freeing. To not be scared and paranoid and consumed with worry and guilt. It's actually really fucking nice to not feel so damn heavy. But, that feeling of being free doesn't last long before it starts to fade into red-hot anger.
You think about how Jason lied to you, went behind your back. You were supposed to be a team and he left you. He left you to go after the Joker, he died, he made this dug, he became Red Hood without ever having a conversation with you. Jason just tried to kill Dick. He doesn't loop you in anymore. He made this drug that is so damn freeing and he never bothered to offer it to you. He never offered you a cure. He gets to be cured of all of his fear and paranoia while you're left here to suffer. And that pisses you off.
You're just furious with him so you get up and make your way to the Gotham City Gym thinking maybe that's his hideout. That's where you met up two days ago, it has to mean something and you do not care at all what's going to happen. You don't have the fear of consequences anymore. You aren't scared what's going to happen because you showed up there looking for him. It'll be fine, you assure yourself. It'll be the two of you, and Crane will never have to know and if he does, that's fine. You will go after him yourself because even though you're mad at Jason as you make your way on the bike, you still care about him. The love you have for him is still there, wrapping your bones like barbed wire, desperately clinging onto the old parts of you that aren't affected by the drug.
You don't want anything to happen to him. But you're mad. And the drug is letting anger win. So, you get to the old gym and walk right inside.
You find Jason in a room leaning over a chair and all you see is red, missing what he's working on. All you care about is getting answers and letting him know you're pissed and he's not just getting off the hook this time because you love him. This is fucked.
"What the fuck!?" You scream as you shove Jason away from the chair.
Jason turns to face you quickly. "What—" Jason eyes you with confusion, dropping the scalpel on the floor. "What the fuck are you doing here!?"
"Crane!?" You yell as you throw your arm out to the side. "You're working with Jonathan fucking Crane?!"
Jason takes a step back and he's never seen you like this before. Your nostrils flare and your jaw squares. Your pupils are blown and you look ready to kill him.
Oh no.
You figured it out. You took the drug. You figured out the formula. You took it. Why the fuck would you do that?
"How the fuck do you know that?" Jason seethes and he still has the drug pumping in his veins, too. What would normally be fear is clouded with anger.
"I figured it out! I told you I would! And I'm fucking offended you thought I wouldn't! You went to fucking Crane for an anti-fear drug!? Are you insane?!"
"Fuck you!" Jason screams back. "Did you fucking take it!?"
That was not part of the plan. Jason didn't want you involved and that included you taking a drug. It makes him a hypocrite and he knows that but he doesn't care. This is his problem, not yours. This was his decision and he didn't want this for you. If he did, he would have just told you.
"Yeah! And I gotta fucking say, it is nice not dealing with fear and paranoia and shit so fuck you for not telling me and giving it to me!" Your fists ball at your sides, Jason getting a glimpse of your knuckles changing color under the pressure.
"That's a load of shit! You're just saying that cause you're fucking high!" Jason yells back, the drug isn't as fresh for him as it is for you. He's thinking a little clearer than you are.
"Look who's fucking—" You pause, finally looking at the chair and seeing a passed out Hank shirtless with an open cut on his chest and a device lodged halfway into the cut. You shake your head looking back to Jason. "What the hell did I just walk in on?" Your voice comes back down.
"How did you figure it out?" Jason spits back, ignoring your question. He really doesn't want you involved with this one.
"Your erratic behavior before you died. The formula had a code. And you like to play games." You quip back and you see the hint of smirk come to his lips. "Exactly."
"You hate codes. How'd you figure it out?" His voice is a toxic mix of amusement and threatening.
"I'm resourceful. Don't worry, I didn't fucking tell anyone." You spit back. "Hank?" You gesture again as you blink at him.
He doesn't believe you. You're good at a lot of things but cracking puzzles and codes is not one of those things. It's why Jason was careful so that way if you found out, you wouldn't get anywhere. He knows you went to someone for help. You swore you don't lie to him but now you are. The line is being drawn in the sand and Jason decides he might as well throw you the bone. He wants to see exactly where your loyalty actually lies because the drug thinks that's going to be fun. It pumps him with everything Crane has filled his head with, tricking him into thinking it's true. And that includes you not being on his side.
"Putting a bomb in his chest. Wanna help?" Jason shrugs as a grin pulls at his lips as he picks the scalpel off the floor and goes back to Hank.
You watch him for a few seconds and you actually think about it. The drug clouds your judgment and lets you feel anger above everything else. You're pissed at Jason but you're still mad at Hank for earlier. Hanks wants to kill Jason and maybe that's what Hank came here to do. Maybe Hank was going to kill him. Jason is just taking it a step further because it's Jason. Nothing is ever so easy. But, a few seconds go by and you're still mad at Jason. You don't want Jason dead but you do want to piss him off because he pissed you off. An easy way to piss Jason off would be save Hank's dumbass from him.
"Fuck you." You bark, gaining Jason's attention and he thought you might actually take up the offer. He's not sure what he would have done if you did. "No, I'm not gonna help fucking kill him! Have you lost your damn mind? Who the hell are you?!" You scream again and you're starting to question if you're mad enough to kill someone you consider an ally. Hank is not your friend but would you take up the offer, right now, if you weren't so mad at Jason?
"I'm who I've always been!" Jason yells back. "What? Don't fucking like it?" Jason taunts you and he really hopes this will get you to leave.
If you're not going to be on his side, he wants you gone. You being around drives him insane because it's like two sides of him are at a war within him and they can't settle on where to sit or what to believe. They fight hard and fast, one side knowing you can be trusted and Jason loves you. He has to protect you at all costs. No matter what. But, the other side of him is high out of his mind and believes Crane really cares about him and wouldn't lie to him. Crane wouldn't just be using him and manipulating him. Crane is telling the truth and that includes you. Both sides are so torn and it drives Jason completely insane. This thing would be easier if you would just go the fuck away.
"You're not a murderer!"
"You're fucking a hypocrite! You're killing people! Crane was right about you." Jason sneers, closing the distance between you and you don't move even an inch as Jason looks down at you. "I'm fucking better and you hate it." It's like a game of tug of war in Jason's head and the Crane side is winning.
You grit your teeth as more anger starts to flood into your system. He told Crane about you? "Fuck you. Crane knows me? Really?" You huff up at him. "I liked you before."
"When I was fucking weak." Jason sneers. "You always just wanted to fix me. Well, I'm better and I'm not fucking scared. And you can't stand it." Jason lets out this horrid cackle.
You let out a loud groan as you look to the ceiling and even in your clouded state, you know Crane has to be using him. "He's fucking using you and manipulating you. He doesn't give a shit about you. We all do though." You mimic the laugh.
"Fuck you!" Jason huffs. "You don't know shit!" Jason doesn't want to fight with you but he can't help it. He should walk away and he knows he should but it's as if his feet are glued to the floor below him.
"Yeah, been there done that, right?" You look up to him. "He's using you. You just can't fucking see it." You shake your head. "He's a terrible, horrible, shit fucking excuse of a human and I can't believe you think he gives a fuck about you." You aren't sure if you're saying it to hurt him or if it's because it's true. You know there's no way Crane actually cares about him, there's no way not when Jason just made an anti-fear drug. There's more to that but you don't know if you're telling him because he needs to hear it or if you're just trying to hurt him.
The drug loves confrontation.
"You can't stand that I'm better! You hate that I don't need you anymore." Jason shakes his head, his nose scrunching in frustration. "I know what I'm doing and he cares about me unlike you and Dick and Bruce!" Jason screams and he doesn't mean it and he says it anyway. Maybe Crane is right. What if he is right? "We were a fucking mistake! You used me and tried to make yourself feel better by being with me!"
You pause and...that hurt. That still hurt. But instead of heartbreak, it fuels your anger. With the drug, your heartbreak gets confused with anger and all you want to do is hurt him back.
"We were a mistake?" You ask through gritted teeth.
The anti-fear drug doesn't just wipe away fear, it turns perfectly good people into hollowed and cruel skeletons of who they used to be. They're puppets under Crane's control once he says one sentence. Jason being desperate and feeling abandoned led him to Crane but the drug keeps him believing Crane. The drug keeps him in line. And you're having a similar side effect because normally, you'd never even think about hurting Jason but that's all you want because he hurt you. The drug turns perfectly good and decent people, into evil and malicious and calloused versions that are unrecognizable to everyone else.
Jason shrugs his shoulders. "Weren't we?" Jason questions and he doesn't mean it. But the panic and pain and fear is replaced with anger so he fires. "I'm worse, right? Nothing got better with you. I fucking died on your watch." Jason scoffs.
"I didn't get you killed, fuck you." You scoff.
"That all you got? Did I hurt your little feelings?" A grin pulls at Jason's lips and the voice echoing in the back of his head lets out a loud cry and it cracks the sturdy glass the drug creates. He knows he'll regret this. He doesn't mean it. He swears he doesn't mean it.
"I don't even know you right now and I don't think I want to." You shake your head and even when you know you should hold back, you don't. The words come out in a hasty rage before you can even process them because they'll hurt him. "This why Rose lied to you? Maybe it was to protect herself from you, right? Get close and you lose your shit and hit below the belt."
"Fuck you! Yeah? What about Gar? You say I don't tell you shit, well now you know how he felt. How do you think Molly feels right now?" Jason snaps right back.
"Gar is my friend and he's waiting back at the manor for me." You shrug your shoulders as you look Jason up and down. "Where's Rose?" You quip back. You don't mean it. You don't mean any of it. You don't even know why you're thinking it. It's not true. This was a bad idea. The drug was a bad idea.
He knows. He knows deep down you don't mean it because he doesn't either. He'd never say any of this to you and he doesn't even think any of it. But Crane is in his head and he makes so many good points, and you're making him so fucking mad. And if it weren't for the drug, he knows, he'd be terrified of what's going to happen when Crane finds out you know. What Crane is going to ask him to do. He'd be scared for your life. And your well-being. He loves you but he can't see through the anger and the numbness. He can't see through it. But, there's still that pecking for you right in the back of his head, right in the stitched letters of your name on his heart. Not you.
"Leave or let me do this. Two fucking choices." Jason sucks in a breath before he turns around and heads back towards Hank.
"You're not killing him." You move towards Jason and yank him back by his hood, just enough to stop him.
Jason stumbles back, eyes locked and angered on you. "You gonna stop me?" Jason scowls, holding a scalpel in one hand.
You won't let him kill Hank. The drug says it'll be fun and then Hank will be out of your hair. You won't have to defend Jason against him anymore and he won't be annoying. He'll be dead. That'll be the end of it. Hank won't be a bother to anyone anymore but stopping Jason will piss him off and something about that seems a little bit more fun. But, there is a small pecking at the back of your head. Jason yanking you off of Jerry because you shouldn't have blood on your hands. The memory flashes like a flashbang against everything you should be thinking while high and you swear you won't let him. It's time to repay the favor, high or not.
Jason's formula was always a little off. The drug Jason is taking now is upgraded, it's better because Crane manufactured this with Jason's help getting the supplies. Your version is a little off.
"Only if you make me have to." You shake your head, blocking Hank from Jason.
Jason hesitates. If you were anyone else, you wouldn't have gotten this far into an argument and he's pretty sure you know that. And he also knows that with the drug, even his version of it, you won't back down.
"Hank has always treated me like shit. You don't fucking get it." Jason shakes his head.
"And killing him is gonna make it all better?" You quip back. "Cause that's shit. He's a fucking ass to me, too but I'm not trying to kill him."
"Because you were always a coward." Jason's voice lacks the venom this time as if he knows what he's saying isn't true and it's not right.
"Maybe." You shrug. "But at least I'm not someone killing an innocent person." You scoff. "So, what does that make you?" You ask and even in this state, you just want him to be the Jason before he died. It's all you want.
Jason shakes his head. "I'm not scared anymore." His voice is level this time and honest. The venom has evaporated and even in this state, your heart breaks. How did he fucking get here?
"Is it worth it? Losing your friends? Dick, Bruce, Gar?" You pause for a second. "Me?"
Jason shakes his head and you'll never get it. "You don't get it." He can't let you get in his head and that's what you're doing. Jason shuts his eyes for just a second before he shakes his head, snapping himself out of it. "Now move and go the fuck home."
You nod your head and Jason is the one drawing the line, not you. You have given him every chance and opportunity to give you a reason to side with him and he will not do it. He only gives you reasons to be against him and you hate it, even in this state.
"No." You shake your head and cross your arms. "You're gonna have to fucking fight me, Jay."
Jason moves forward, looking down at you and for a second, you think he'll let it go. But, instead, he shoves you to the side. Not hard, but enough to get you out of the way. Jason swears he's not going to be the one to fight you first. It is his one fucking line he has been able to not cross and he swears he can't do that. Not you.
You fire back, shoving him harder and further away from Hank.
"All you got, babe? Thought I taught you better than that." Jason taunts.
"Yeah, well, I learned from Dick, too and I'm not throwing the first punch." You stand toe-to-toe with Jason. "You'll have to do that, Red Hood."
"Out the fucking way." Jason shoves you again, this time a little harder than before.
"You get the fuck out of the way." You shove him harder, this time Jason falling to the ground.
He looks up at you with so much anger, it nearly breaks you. He's never looked at you like that before. And maybe if he weren't high, he'd find it impressive and endearing. But he is high and he doesn't give a fuck. He swings his leg, tripping you and you fall to the floor.
Jason is back on his feet before you, quickly moving to Hank and trying to get the bomb readjusted. You move closer to him, kicking Jason in the back of the knees and sending him to the floor which gives you enough time to get to your feet.
"Wake the fuck up, Hank!" You shake him quickly, trying to wake him up but Jason trips you again, this time taking one kick to the back of the knee and then the front.
You look at Jason as he's still on the ground. You're not going to get anywhere if all you two do is keep tripping each other. And the drug loves a good fight.
"Okay, fine. Do you really wanna do this? You really wanna fight me?" You question.
"You're the one that wants to fight." Jason huffs.
The part with the drug would love to fight you. He knows he will win but you'll put up a good fight and it'll be fun. But, the better part of him, the part that always wins when it comes to you, wants to kick his heart through his ribs and onto the cement floor. He can't fight you. He can't do it. Not you. Anyone but you.
"You're the one trying to kill someone." You quip.
"You're not gonna fucking stop me."
"I have to fucking try!" Your voice finally cracks as you yell.
"Good luck." Jason barks as he gets to his feet.
You don't really want to fight him either. Like Jason, you have that part of you that still doesn't want to cross that line, no matter what. But, Jason can't come back from killing one of your own. The Titans will never forgive that, regardless of his reason. It doesn't matter if this isn't really him. They won't forgive him because it's Jason. You don't want that for him. If your options are to fight him or let him kill Hank, you really only have one choice.
And the drug is thrilled about it.
You get to your feet, keeping a few feet between you. "If you go down for five seconds, this is it. Got it?" You offer him.
Jason lets out a cackle. "Fuck no."
"You're a better fighter, right? What the fuck are you so scared for?" You say it on purpose, knowing it'll get him to fight.
Jason eyes you for a few seconds, knowing he can't possibly say no now. The drug is winning over the logical side of him and he has to agree. But, he also knows he'll still pull his punches. Maybe you can go a few rounds and you'll get tired. Jason remembers how it feels when his version of the drug wears off and how long it usually lasts. He's not sure when you took it but he's hoping maybe a few rounds and it'll wear off a little, make you too tired to continue then neither of you have to fight your hardest. He doesn't want to and he's betting you don't either.
"Fine. Five seconds. You, too. You go down and I can finish what I started without you getting in the fucking way." Jason nods his head. "No weapons and no acid."
"Deal." You nod your head as you lift up your hoodie and unbuckle the belt with all of your knives, dropping it on the floor.
Jason pulls both guns from his holsters, walking over and putting them on a table. Then he starts pulling his own knives out of his pockets and boots, resting them with the guns before he walks back over. Jason stands three feet in front of you who's eyes haven't left him.
"Two outta three?" Jason questions and all he can hear is his heart in his ears.
"Fine." You agree, sucking in a breath. "You and me."
Jason's jaw locks. "You and me."
You and Jason stand a few feet away from each other. The two of you take a few seconds, almost contemplating if this is a good idea. This was a line Jason swore, no matter what, he'd never cross. It's you. He doesn't want to fight you but he has to do this. He doesn't have a choice. That's the thing about the anti-fear drug. He's easy to manipulate when it comes to Crane and he doesn't feel anything. Not just fear. So, he takes the first step forward and goes to trip you again but you dodge him, taking the first official swing to his face.
The two of you fight a little harder against each other than you normally do. You know you'll lose. You always did. It doesn't matter. He's better, he's faster. And the clairvoyance has a loophole. Apparently, a lot of it is rooted in fear factor, adrenaline and the anti-fear drug diminishes that. Fighting Jason without the clairvoyance is more difficult. You can't tell where the next hit is coming from and you have to be completely on defence. Maybe you should have trained a little more with Dick after all. But, you try and strike as hard and as fast as you can. You put up a good fight.
Jason is pulling his punches. You aren't in the suit. You have nothing to protect you and even though he should care more, he is not careless. He doesn't want to hurt you so he pulls his punches, despite knowing you'll never forgive him for it. And the more he pulls his punches, the better chance you stand on tiring yourself out by the time the drug starts to wear off. Jason is just buying time so he can finish Hank because he needs to. It's part of the plan. Crane said it has to happen and he has to listen. So, he keeps fighting until you go down twice, coughing and gasping.
Jason counts but it's slower than usual as you try to use your remaining energy against him to no avail. The drug might tell him this is fun and thrilling, it'll be worth it in the end. But, the real Jason hates every single second of this. It never should have been like this and if he weren't high, he would have walked away. If you weren't high, you probably would have, too. But, now you're both here bloody and bruised fighting over fucking Hank Hall.
"Five." Jason heaves from above you. His jaw is squared and he hates himself for it. "We had a deal." Jason takes in a full breath, watching your expression soften and fall, your pupils returning to normal.
You look up at him, blood pooling in your mouth and leaking from a gash on your head. Jason has blood splitting his lip and drips dropping from his nose. But, he's foggy and distant. You tried. You tried your absolute hardest and your eyes are heavy while your limps feel like the blood has been replaced with cement.
You sit up, your head spinning slightly but not the way it usually does with a concussion, this is different. You rest your hands on the floor, scooting back until your back hits the wall and you lean your head back, closing your eyes.
You're so tired. You're exhausted and all you want to do is sleep. But, the fear starts to creep back into your system. The numbness you felt is being washed away like a sandcastle on a beach while the tide comes in. And everything starts to hurt.
Everything you just said to Jason, everything he said it you. It all hurts and then fear comes in and now you're terrified you messed everything up. What happens if Crane finds out you know? Is Crane going to think Jason did it? Is he going to find a replacement? What if he wants you dead and asks Jason to do it? Where does that leave him?
Jason glances over to you as he gets the bomb readjusted. The gash doesn't seem deep, there isn't too much blood and the blood from your mouth is from a small cut on your lip. It's nothing worse than what either of you got from sparring with each other and Gar and Rachel. But, Jason watches you for a few more seconds, just being sure.
"You okay?" Jason finds it himself to ask as he places the bomb in position.
"Tired." Your voice cracks and you think about what the Titans are going to say when Hank dies.
This is your fault. You weren't fast enough and you weren't good enough. Hank is going to die because Jason was manipulated and used and put a bomb in his chest. And you were too weak to stop him. Even while high, you still pulled your punches because it's him. They're never going to forgive either of you.
"It's wearing off, isn't it?" Jason asks, his voice stern as he places the bomb in Hank's chest, following the blueprints.
"Yeah..." Your voice is so small, making Jason look back over at you. He's definitely burning that lab down.
You wonder if this is normal. If it is, how did you miss it? You wonder how much Jason actually used it for you to have not noticed. Maybe he only used it a few times and only when he was out. The drug definitely didn't last very long. You just wish you would have noticed something was wrong.
"You'll feel better in a bit." Jason states as he closes the skin around the bomb.
You fall silent, keeping your eyes closed. This can't be what a normal comedown feels like. You're somehow both so exhausted you could sleep for a week and you're terrified. Every piece of fear you had before is amplified and you're stuck between wanting to sleep and wanting to run away from everything. If you thought you could get up, you'd run out of Gotham and away from this mess. But, your head is spinning and your arms and legs hurt while your chest feels like it's going to collapse on itself.
Jason calls your name, glancing over to you again.
He knows what happens with his version. There's a comedown and it's rough. Every fear and mistake and regret floods back in a tidal wave, taking over all of the relief the drug provided all while making it impossible to stay awake. It doesn't last long, twenty minutes but Jason swears it's always long enough to keep him going back to the drug to not feel that way again. The new version has a similar effect but instead of a crash, it's slower like a stranger in the night following him and waiting for the perfect moment. With every step, he grows more uneasy and home seems further away. But, you didn't take the new version, so he keeps glancing at you just to make sure you're okay.
Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea.
prev. chapter | next chapter
series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @urmomsgayforme5
#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#titans fanfic#titans fanfiction#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction#petrichor
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
the right shirt - joão félix (social media au)
joão félix x ronaldo!sister
request: Heyyy are you doing social media au's? Cause I'd love to request a João Félix x Ronaldo's sister. Maybe like that Ronaldo wants her to wear his shirt to the matches but then she starts dating João
Yess, ofc. I have a love hate relationship with Social Media Au's tbh. I really hate to read them but I'm slut for writing them. I'll probably make this in 2 party cuz you can only add 10 pictures per post. Also I'll probably just mainly use pictures of his real girlfriends cause she's stunninggggg and has quite a lot of pictures that fit well
relationships:
Avril - your cousin
Kika - your best friend
Mila, Beatriz, Francisco - your friends
Rodrigo - your friend, brother of Kika
masterlist | part 2
tagged: portugal, avrilsantos
liked by: georginagio, avrilsantos, goncalogomes88 and 2,247,829 others
yndossantos: vamossss
comments:
cristiano: You got the right shirt?
→ yndossantos: yesss
avrilsantos: One of the best games I've watched in a while
kikalurez: soooo
→ yndossantos: Huh?
milagomes: You know we gotta talk, right?
→ yndossantos: Huh?
rodrigolurez: Where did you disappear to after the game ma'am?
→ yndossantos: Huh?
→ fan: what???
fan: All of Yn's friends exposing her lmaoo
goncaloramos88: Hope you were cheering for me
→ yndossantos: Always
→ fan: Are you dating?
fan: Did her friends just indirectly confirm she's in a relationship?
→ fan: It's probably Ramos
→ fan: Yeah, he's been liking and commenting on her posts for a few months now
fan: vamos portugal!!
load more comments...
liked by: joaofelix79, kikalurez, cristiano and 3,257,972 others
yndossantos: Special night out
comments:
avrilsantos: You're SO PRETTY HELP
georginagio: Lindaaaa
milagomes: He's a lucky guy...
→ fan: He who??
rodrigolurez: Y'all see this? That's my best friend!!
→ kikalurez: Shut up, she's mine
beatrizsilva: Aaaaand with who was this special night out
→ yndossantos: I have no idea what you're implying...
goncaloramos88: Cleaned up nice, I see
→ fan: Why are her brother's teammates on her Instagram helppp
→ fan: She's dating Ramos
fanciscoborba: I'm gay but LORD SMASH
→ yndossantos: ilyyyy
fan: Not João liking her posts sjsjdjd, she's off limits bro
→ fan: Let's be real, he wouldn't have the balls to go after Ronaldo's sister
load more comments...
tagged: rodrigolurez, avrilsantos, kikalurez, milagomes, savridre
liked by: joaofelix79, cristiano, kikalurez and 2,753,930 others
yndossantos: vacation time
comments:
avrilsantos: I lost my top...
→ yndossantos: I think it's in my suitcase
→ brunosilva: Nah she lost it in the ocean
→ yndossantos: SHE WHAT!?
kikalurez: I won't be eating for a week after that vacation
→ yndossantos: ME NEITHER I'M SO FULL
→ milagomes: *for 8 hours
rodrigolurez: I don't remember taking that picture of you...
→ yndossantos: You didn't
→ rodrigolurez: YOU REPLACED ME!??
fan: Her pictures always look so aesthetic
fan: Okay, so we're gonna ignore João on the 3rd picture!??
fan: João casually chilling with his teammates sister on vacation
fan: João being the only one she didn't tag... suspicious
→ fan: Let's be honest, we all recognized him at the first glance anyway
load more comments...
tagged: portugal, avrilsantos
liked by: avrilsantos, goncalogomes88, joaofelix79 and 3,126,629 others
yndossantos: And onto the next game
comments:
cristiano: Shirt?
avrilsantos: That jacket looks so good on you...
→ yndossantos: hmm
rodrigolurez: Why wasn't I allowed to come?
→ yndossantos: "No, I can't, I have so many exams and I need to study"...
→ rodrigolurez: Okay but I didn't study and I watched the game anyway...
joaofelix79: Personal lucky charm
→ yndossantos: <33
→ fan: WTF?
cristiano: Are you wearing the right shirt?
portugal: vamosss
fan: She's been at the games quite frequently lately
→ fan: Yeah, she's dating Ramos lol
fan: Yn replying to everyone but her brother lol
cristiano: yn!!!
load more comments...
tagged: joaofelix79, yndossantos
liked by 33,842 other's
waggossip: Y/n dos Santos recent post looks a lot like João's closet...
comments:
fan: That's Ronaldo's sister...
fan: I thought she's dating Ramos???
fan: Would he really go after cr7's sister though?
→ fan: She's mad beautiful
→ fan: but she's Ronaldo's sister...
fan: Homie broke the bro code lmao
fan: It's not tho
→ fan: It literally is, look at the carpet, the door, the switch, the chair
load more comments...
tagged: atleticodemadrid
liked by: antogriezmann, yndossantos and 976,362 others
joaofelix79: Full focus
comments:
antogriezmann: What a goal brother
yndossantos: Those cheekbones, damn
→ joaofelix79: 💞
→ fan: ???
→ fan: What's this supposed to mean?
hugofelix18: Legend
felipe.augusto: Royal
fan: No one gonna talk about Yn's comment?
→ fan: EVERYONE is talking about her comment...
fan: Are you two dating?
fan: Wait we're talking about Yn dos Santos here right?
→ fan: yeah
→ fan: That's Ronaldo's sister...
fan: Y'all isn't she dating that other portuguese player?
→ fan: If you're talking about Ramos, then no, they never confirmed anything but always said they're just friend
→ fan: But no one believed them and made up their own story without knowing what's going on, so it always was just a stupid rumor that's been denied multiple times
load more comments...
tagged: portugal, joaofelix79, lindarodriguez, avrilsantos
liked by: joaofelix79, cristiano, avrilsantos and 3,577,482 others
yndossantos: vamos
comments:
cristiano: Traitor
joaofelix79: Beijinhos
→ yndossantos: <3
lindarodriguez: You just send your brother into a cardiac arrest with this picture
→ yndossantos: Oh he's seen me at the game :)
avrilsantos: GORGEOUS
kikalurez: All of you are so gorgeous omg
milagomes: Beauties omgg
rodrigolurez: Thanks for taking me this time...
→ yndossantos: u really still mad abt last time...
fanciscoborba: My pretty girls
→ yndossantos: beijinhos
→ avrilsantos: te amo
hugofelix18: No excuse not to win when you have supportors who look like this
→ yndossantos: You're such a sweetie
→ fan: Bro tryna flirt with his brother's girl lmao
→ joaofelix79: Heyyyyy
fan: WOAH WHAT
fan: That's not her brother's jersey...
→ fan: Yn about to be disowned lmaoo
fan: So they're dating now?
→ fan: I thought she's with Ramos??
fan: Bro really pulled Ronaldo's little sis
load more comments...
--
part 2
#joao felix#joão félix#joão félix fluff#joão félix x reader#joão félix imagine#joão félix x you#joão félix social media au#football imagine#joao felix gif
226 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have, at one point or another, been tagged in some form of "wip game" iteration by @mellaithwen, @renecdote, @nymika-arts, @capseycartwright, @littlespoonevan, @househusbandbuck & probably more people that my mentions simply do not go all the way back to rip
because it's neither wednesday, nor thursday, nor friday, nor sunday, nor any other day that's usually reserved for the writing progress, i'm gonna go ahead and call this "catch-all thursday," as in, idk, take your pick of weekday and consider yourself tagged in a wip game fajsklfj
here's a sneak at what i'm working on currently (which is, incidentally, not the longfic i was supposed to work on during my week off, lmao. inspiration amirite):
“One time thing,” he promises, and Buck’s exhale, though shaky, is filled with relief. “It was probably just the adrenaline, anyway.”
Buck’s hands slide off his face, and he nods resolutely, like he wants desperately to believe what Eddie’s saying. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Yeah, that was — and,” he licks his lips, looking a little nervous. “I don’t — have a lot of friends my age,” he admits, sounding embarrassed, despite clearly doing his best not to. Still, he meets Eddie’s gaze, and it’s so fucking earnest Eddie almost pulls him into a hug, out of pure sympathy. “Sex would complicate things, anyway.”
Eddie doesn’t say he wouldn’t know, as to not freak Buck out. Instead, he reaches out to squeeze Buck’s shoulder, offers him a teasing smile. “Are you calling me your friend, Buckley?”
Buck rolls his eyes, weakly slaps Eddie’s hand away. “Shut up.”
“I’m your friend,” Eddie insists, and Buck snorts with laughter when Eddie shoves him sideways with his hips. “To think, this morning you were plotting where you’d bury me—”
“I wouldn’t bury you, I’d cremate you—”
“To think, this morning you were plotting where you’d spread my remains, and now you’ve not only let me touch your dick—”
Buck’s laughter is coming in uncontrollably. “Eddie—”
“—but you’re calling me your friend,” he winks exaggeratedly at Buck, grin as cocky as he can muster. “All in a day’s work.”
Once Buck’s laughter subsides, he nods toward the door before looking back at Eddie. “We should probably get back,” he suggests, then pauses, hesitating only for a second. “And for the record,” he adds, pushing himself off the wall and walking to the door. He pauses with his hand over the knob, looks over his shoulder, and offers Eddie a shit-eating grin. “I would’ve let you touch my dick either way.”
i will tag, again, everyone i just tagged above, plus: @tripleaxeldiaz, @tawaifeddiediaz, @usercowboy, @enchantedbuckley, @homerforsure, @sibylsleaves, + anyone else who may be writing something and wants to share! MWAH
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Flower Path | Chapter 6
Genre/Tags: isekai (kinda?), bangtan x fem!reader, not poly, oc!bestfriend, surprise romantic pairings; rom-com (romance as a subplot), slow burn (the slowest of burns holy moly i cannot stress this enough), fluff, angst (will update tags along the way)
Status: Ongoing
Summary: What would you feel if you find yourself transported to the world of a cheesy web novel? Ecstatic, of course (well, among other things), except you’re stuck being the main character’s best friend slash sidekick. Fair enough, you don’t think you’re main character material anyway. Determined to get through your life that has changed all of a sudden, you try to keep yourself in the shadows of your “best friend.” Let’s just try to get through the last year of high school in peace. You thought it was gonna be easy – like a walk in a flower path– but the thing about walking that road is that there are bound to be thorns along the way.
Inspired by the web novel and manhwa: Inso’s Law
Word Count: 6.5k
Chapter Note: yikes sorry for the long wait T-T
masterlist
-
"Stop staring at that." Yoongi tried to conceal the paper you were holding with his hand, but you snatched it away from him. You give him a playful sneer before straightening up in your seat and bringing the paper back to your face.
"But it's so beautiful," You exclaimed in a theatrical manner, even letting out a slight gasp for more impact. Needless to say, the person next to you was not amused.
"I agree. It's lovely," a deep voice whispers from near you, and you turn to see Taehyung peering into your paper. He pulls something from his back and shows you his as well. He shuts his eyes and nods slowly as you lift your palms into your lips to conceal your astonished gasp.
"I know, I know," he says, patting your head to "comfort" you. Minyoung smiles at the antics and pulls a chair around to face where you were currently sitting.
"You people are so dramatic," she says as she rolls her eyes and pries your hands away from your face.
“Hey! Let us have this. It's not often that we receive flawless grades on everything," Taehyung remarks whiningly with a pout, and you gag, receiving a gentle smack on the shoulder from him.
“How did everyone else do?” Yoongi asks as he looks around for your other friends.
“I think we all did exceptional on this one. Study group has been working out really well; I'm amazed it really worked for us,” Taehyung says and you nod in agreement.
Hoseok returns to the classroom after momentarily excusing himself to take a phone call. “Everything okay?” Yoongi asked cautiously and Hobi just gave him a slight nod.
“Yep, everything’s fine. My mom just told me she’d have to work overtime so I should just get myself dinner.” He answers as he eyes you sitting on his chair. You were about to stand up to offer him his seat back, but he simply shook his head at you, so you sat down again.
Yoongi tried to read into his friend's face as he spoke to you guys. After years of friendship, you'd think he'd know everything about Hoseok, yet he still has trouble reading him sometimes. He's simply really adept at always wearing his smiling mask. He sits up straight and clears his throat.
“I’ll join you for dinner. I’m sick of seeing my brother’s face all the time at home anyway.” He offers and Hobi sends him a grateful smile. “You know what? We should ask if everyone’s free, then we should all have dinner together.” He adds, and he sees his friend’s eye light up. A smile pulls from his face at the reaction.
Yoongi is well aware that Hoseok dislikes being alone. He spent so much of his childhood alone that he now wants company wherever he goes. After all, it's the reason he and Yoongi became friends. As children, they would always meet at their parents' work functions, and Hobi would always accompany the bashful boy who seemed to want to be anywhere but a fancy affair full of grownups. Yoongi tried to brush him off every time, but his grumpy disposition had no effect on the boy, who clung to him like gum. He's thankful Hoseok didn't give up on him; he wouldn't know what to do without him.
“I think that’s a great idea! We all have something to celebrate anyway.” Minyoung says before rushing over along with Taehyung to relay the information to your other friends.
"Yeah, and don't be bothered about dinner. I'll ask my dad to make some for us, and we'll pick it up from the restaurant," you say as you rise from your seat. You pull out your phone and indicate that you're about to make a phone call, and they all nod.
Hoseok takes his seat and glances at Yoongi, who has his gaze drawn away from him. He grins again, remembering how thankful he is for his friend. He immediately engulfs his best friend in a hug and even makes smooching noises, while Yoongi, as usual, tries to stop him with a twisted up face.
As he moves away from Yoongi, he softly pats his back and offers him a knowing look of appreciation. He knows his friend well enough to realize that expressing himself verbally is difficult for him, so he expresses himself in other ways. Yoongi nods and ruffles his hair, their unspoken conversation filling the air around them with warmth. They've always had each other's back in everything, and this moment just served to reinforce that.
The thought of a little get-together appeared to excite everyone, and it so happened that everyone could come. The group was divided into teams; some were sent to fetch the food, some to get the dessert, and others to go straight to the Jung residence to prepare for the guests.
You decided to take Minyoung and Jungkook with you with an ulterior motive in mind. Jungkook's dismissal of the entire budget negotiating situation has troubled you every time you see him. How can someone who was so determined to make something happen give up so easily? It also doesn't help when you notice him looking dejected when he thinks no one is watching.
You were on your way to the restaurant on the bus when you decided to (not-so-subtly) bring up the subject of the conversation. You cleared your throat while Minyoung was raving about a volleyball game she saw on TV the day before.
“Speaking of, the sports committee meeting is next week.” You bring up and Minyoung gives you a questioning look. You return it with a knowing one, trying to get her to work with you.
“Right. You must be really busy preparing paperwork for that, don't you?" She responds with a glance that says, Right now? Really? You widen your eyes at her and nod in the direction of Jungkook. Her jaw drops open in realization but she nods in understanding.
"Yeah, but we've planned ahead of time enough to decrease the load because it's so close. I think we can take on some other projects as well..." You tried to ease into the subject.
“Really? I think you've got enough work to do with the next practice games," Jungkook adds nonchalantly, staring out the window like an anime protagonist. Heh.
You fumble over your words. "Ah- That's-" You were at a loss for words since he was right! Because the rest of the practice games will be hosted by Kkotgil, there is a lot of documentation and inventory that has to be completed. And it would reflect poorly on the school if you didn't plan this well. "It's not that bad, really," you chuckle awkwardly, turning to look at Minyoung, who is trying not to laugh at you. You scowl at her and determine that beating around the bush isn't going to work.
You sigh and turn to face Jungkook. "I want to talk to you about the budget negotiation you mentioned," you told him flatly, amazed at how confident you sounded considering you'd never truly spoken to him like this before.
He throws his head back in irritation before turning to face you. "I thought I told you to forget about it," he replies sternly, but it doesn't faze you in the least.
You sighed exasperatedly as you peered at him. "I know, but you seemed so adamant about it, so I don't understand why you gave up so fast," you retorted gently. Fighting fire with fire, as far as you can gather, will not work on this guy.
He opted to avert your eyes, so you just kept going. "Listen, you're under no obligation to tell me anything you don't want to. Maybe just tell me enough to make the Coach think I know everything. I doubt he'll quiz me about it anyway." You shrugged, trying to make it sound like it's not a big deal, but you know by now that it is for him.
He fiddled with his hands on his lap, and the quiet hushed conversation you were having appeared to prompt Minyoung to intervene. She offers Jungkook a reassuring smile, and his stiff shoulders loosen.
"I'm not sure how much to tell you without..." He trailed off and returned his gaze to the window.
"It's about your relationship with the team, isn't it?" You can see his eyes widen at your comment. "I figured so. You know, you're not very subtle." You add, and he let out a wry laugh at that.
"Says you," he responds sarcastically. You caught the insinuation in his tone but you don't want to go into it right now because this conversation is about him. You decide to brush that last bit off and sit up straight.
“Hey, I’m just letting you know that option is on the table.” You opt to continue instead of looking at him. "And remember, even after the meeting is over, you can still talk to me about it. I'm more to you than just a manager. I'm also your friend," you say as you look around, catching Minyoung's gaze and returning her smile.
"I'll be there when you're ready to tell me. We'll all be there for you." You return your glance to him, but he has a distant expression in his eyes that tells you he's thinking about something.
You gave a final shrug before pressing the button to notify the driver that you'd like to exit at the next stop. Minyoung wraps her arm around yours as you exit the bus. "You were so cool," she adds with a laugh, and you just grin and shake your head.
It didn’t feel cool for you to say; it was hypocritical advice. Who were you to tell him that he can tell you guys anything, when not so long ago you completely shut them all out without an explanation? You laugh at yourself. You were beginning to doubt yourself. Perhaps you should just leave him alone and let him deal with his shit. You don't have to pry into other people's lives when you're determined to build your walls as high as possible, allowing others to view only a fraction of you.
But, a little voice within your head argues, you know better now. You know better now that it doesn't hurt to depend on them now and again, especially when they are willing to be there for you. With that in mind, you loosen up, and tighten Minyoung’s arms that were tangled with yours.
"Hey," Jungkook's voice yelled out from behind you as you approached the restaurant's door, forcing you and your friend to spin around to face him. "I'll think about it," he adds timidly, rubbing the back of his neck.
You smiled at him.
“Okay.”
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°
When the entire group is together, it is always chaotic. With all of the food laid out on the table, you know your dad went all out for the occasion. At this point, you'd think he'd be feeding the entire neighborhood. He’s just that thrilled at the prospect of you having friends. Your friends, on the other hand, were grateful and as a sign of gratitude, they promised to finish everything.
As soon as the group was complete, you all tucked into the food. True to their word, they did manage to finish almost everything that was laid out. Well, considering you were a bunch of growing teenagers, it shouldn’t be surprising that you all had an increased appetite. It was after you all ate dinner and were resting your stomachs to make room for dessert were you able to properly look around Hoseok’s home that he shared with his mom. During the conversation at the table, he mentioned that he was an only child.
You sat on the sofa and left the others sitting on the floor around the coffee table where you all ate. There was an abundance of personal clutter around the living room, which gave the house a more homey appearance. There were trophies, medals, but what caught your attention were the number of pictures of Hobi and his mother that were either hung on the wall or placed neatly on the shelves. They smiled in all the photos, and while it was obvious in his single shots that he was being made to strike a particular pose, he still had a wide grin on his face.
“These are really cute. You seemed like such a bright and cheerful child,” You suddenly commented without looking at the group, but their chatter died down at your remark. You look at them to question the silence and you see them looking at Hobi who had his lips on a grim line, and the rest who seemed like they were observing the situation. You didn't even get to ask about his mom, which you wanted to do just to make conversation and in an attempt to get to know him more. Hoseok briefly caught himself slipping before breaking into his trademark grin. You see Jin lean back on his seat and cross his arms with a sigh from your peripheral vision.
“Do you guys wanna play games? I don’t have a gaming console because we usually game at Yoongi’s, but I do have some board games and cards.” He offers and the atmosphere at the table suddenly brightens again. You scrunch your eyebrows, finding all of their reactions odd. You don’t know if you were reading into this too much but you wondered why him having that expression silenced the whole table. It was normal for you to be grumpy and frown at every little thing, so you understand why Hobi reacted like that, as it might have been rude for him when you said something about his childhood pictures. You facepalmed yourself when no one was looking. It looks like you've gotten better at making these guys uncomfortable with unsolicited comments ever since you started to feel at ease around them. Well done, you.
The group decided to play a card game while enjoying dessert, and it soon became tense and competitive. It was a wonderful change to hear laughing and playful banter fill the Jung family's living room. During one particularly heated and power-up-heavy round, Jimin noticed his friend shifting in his seat.
“You okay?” He asks in a hushed voice despite the risk of being barely audible because of the commotion on the table.
Jungkook gave him a quick glance before smiling briefly. “Yeah, just thinking about something.” He was considering what you had said to him. He noticed that you appeared hesitant to provide him that advice, and he thinks he understands why. Nevertheless, he appreciated your attempt and the fact that it was done in good faith. Once again, he's grateful that you and Minyoung didn't avoid him because he's been an insufferable prick for no apparent reason..
“You’re thinking? That’s new.” Jimin joked around and earned a playful nudge in return. There was silence between the two as they quietly took their own turns in the game and let the others carry all the playful conversations. “You wanna talk about it? ” He asks tentatively while pretending to watch the others play; he even notices Jin sneaking a glance at Namjoon's cards before returning to his own, but Yoongi had also snuck a glance at his cards while he was distracted. Jimin shook his head in disbelief at his friends.
“Actually..” Jungkook trailed off. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I finally want to talk about it.” He says.
Jimin hums in response. “Okay. Should we break off from the group or-” Jungkook cut him off frantically before he finished, rubbing at his nape.
“N-no. I was thinking.. I was thinking of finally telling everyone about what happened.” He said. Jimin had his mouth agape at his friend’s revelation. Among this group of friends, only him and Taehyung knew about Jungkook’s situation with his teammates. They found it difficult when Jungkook obstinately refused their assurances that what had happened was not his fault. Perhaps some new perspectives on the matter could be helpful. Perhaps if it came from recently made friends, he would believe them.
It would be too much for Jungkook, he thinks, to tell you and Minyoung the story and then maybe have to tell it to the others again. He figures it would be best to take care of everything at once, much like ripping off a band aid.
“Are you sure?” Jimin tries to give him an out in the event that he doesn’t really want to do this, but he just nods.
“Okay. You can ask Tae or myself to take over if you find it too difficult to recount the story. " Jimin gives his friend a reassuring shoulder pat, prompting a hesitant nod.
Looking around the table, Jungkook considers how he will abruptly bring up a serious topic in the midst of laughter. He was on the verge of fleeing out of fear that he could destroy the mood and his friends' opinion of him. He was aware that doing this might disrupt the dynamics of the group. When he has finished telling them everything and they decide they don't like him and want to cut all ties with him, he will let them do just that. At least the friendship wasn't old enough to have caused a wound that deep yet. He knew Jimin and Tae would be by him no matter what, which is also comforting.
He tries to test whether anyone would notice by clearing his throat once, but in the past few minutes, the group has only grown rowdier due to Jin's alleged cheating. Taehyung, who was more attentive of his friends, saw him and then made an effort to make everyone quiet.
"Jungkook, did you have anything to say?" he inquired loudly enough to get the group's attention, and all of a sudden, heads turned to look at him. He senses the attention making his blood run cold and his hand tremble, but he braces himself. However, he was cut off before he could speak.
"I promise I wasn't looking! Are your playing cards nearly finished?" Jin stretches out and flips Jungkook's cards that were on the table.
“Ayy, these aren’t even good cards, you have been bound to lose with these.”
After that, chaos reigned yet again.
“See, you just cheated again! ”
"No, I didn't. I simply provided him with advice."
“Boo! You’re disqualified! ”
In response to the chaos, Jungkook finds himself actually giggling. Though he hasn't known these people for very long, he feels as though he can trust them in some way. But he also thinks that losing them would hurt, so he felt a tiny tightness in his chest.
“I did want to say something. And it has nothing to do with the cards.” He begins, and the group quiets down again, but he does not feel the heaviness in the air this time. He glances around the table and finds them looking at him expectantly, as if they are genuinely interested in hearing him out. He regained his composure and braced himself once more.
“It’s about what happened last year..”
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°
“You’re late again!” The captain scolds the boy and throws the ball at his head, letting it bounce off and back to his hands.
“Sorry, sorry! I had to run some errands before leaving.” He says and Jungkook, from afar, sighs at the sight of his sunbae being scolded again.
“You’re lucky you’re a star player, or else I’d give you more shit for this.” The captain says with a shake of his head.
“Wah, look at you being scolded in front of your juniors! How embarrassing!” His batchmate teases, sending everyone into light laughter.
His seniors had usually argued endlessly during training, but everyone knew it was just friendly banter, so it was entertaining to see. Additionally, it improved group dynamics and helped the younger teammates feel comfortable.
Once his Doyun sunbae was done running laps around the court as punishment for being late, he approached Jungkook with a smack on the back.
“Sorry for being late when I promised to run some plays with you.” The older one says with an easy smile. Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“Whatever, hyung. What’s so important that you’re always late to weekend training?” He asked in an irritated tone and shifted his body away from the older guy. He is often irritated by his hyung's repeated promises to assist him in improving his plays but frequently arrives to practice too late. His senior was constantly eager to leave training as soon as it ended, so after-practice hours were off the table as well. He exhales. How was he going to get the attention of his seniors now that he was running for captain of the following year? He hasn't had many chances to demonstrate to them how much he has developed since his first year.
“Yah! Don't treat your sunbae that way! I have a life outside of volleyball, you know?” He said in a defensive tone and one of his batchmates overheard Doyun say this.
“Psh! Even I am aware that is untrue. Volleyball is your life," the guy exclaimed, drawing amusement from others.
“I’ll ask for some personal training time from the captain right now. I gotta make it up to little Jungkook here somehow.” Doyun wraps his arm around the younger’s shoulders and ruffles his hair with the other. Jungkook pries himself off from his hyung before huffing in annoyance.
“I want to practice some quick attacks today.” Jungkook said flatly and went on his merry way, asking Jimin to toss some balls for him.
Doyun was left chuckling at the younger boy’s demands. “He’s quite straightforward, isn't he? Think he’d make for a good captain? ” He remarks, to which the others hum in agreement.
The training was effective at least, and this time Doyun kept his word and gave Jungkook today a lot of assistance. Since they were paired up during practice when Jungkook was still trying out for the volleyball team, he was his closest hyung from the team. He was forced to acknowledge how much of the credit for his rapid progress goes to his hyung.
Doyun wasn't always so disloyal to his commitments. During the freshman year of the three, he actually trained frequently with Jungkook and occasionally even Jimin and Taehyung. He’d tell the younger boys about his dream to play professionally and get recruited into his dream team, and also to give them advice on how to play better. Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s taken quite a liking to his hyung’s presence, despite showing otherwise. He is thankful for having someone to rely on who has more experience than him in the field. He’s like the brother he never had.
However, this year, he had been more evasive, appeared to be constantly on guard, and had been in a hurry to leave every single training session. Jungkook was curious as to what was causing the older guy to act this way, especially when they were nearing the last games of the winter sports season, where there were gonna be professional recruiters, and it was the senior members’ last games of their high school life as well.
Doyun abruptly excused himself one day to the captain as they were still wrapping up the training and he hurriedly left the gym, oblivious to his batchmates' remarks that he should at least wait until everyone was prepared to leave. When Jungkook noticed it, a strong surge of curiosity about why his hyung is acting in this manner swept over him. He quickly puts on his jacket and makes his way to the gym's exit, earning some questioning yells from Jimin and Taehyung to which he acknowledges with a raise of hand. He then follows the diminutive figure that he believes to be his hyung because he has already traveled a considerable distance.
He was chasing the older man while taking quick, frigid breaths of cold air that pierced his lungs. He had to exercise caution because there were certain areas of the walkway that were slippery; as a result, he nearly fell several times. He succeeds in catching up, though he makes sure to keep a safe distance from Doyun so as not to be seen stalking him. He knows the older man would tell him off when he finds out.
They were nearing a neighboring park after traveling a fair distance into a small neighborhood, and he started to question if this was even a good idea; maybe his hyung was right, he was just busy with other stuff about his personal life. But when Jungkook notices Doyun raising the hood of his jacket, he senses something was off. He continued on following him without trying to give it any attention. Not long after, a group of men his hyung's age emerged from a nearby tree. He immediately noticed his Doyun hyung, who instantly stopped in his tracks, and consequently, he stopped as well. He hides behind a nearby tree as he sees Doyun get stopped in the middle of attempting to walk past the group of guys.
He hears them speaking to his sunbae, and at first the talk is quiet and civil, but as it heats up, the group steadily encircles Doyun in an effort to intimidate him. It appeared to work, which surprised Jungkook. Doyun was typically a laid-back person who laughed a lot and smiled a lot, but everyone who knew him knew that he wasn't the kind to let people walk all over him. Now that he’s seeing him in this light, the looming feeling of dread creeps up in his gut yet again. Doyun wouldn’t be the type to get caught up in gang affairs, would he? He thinks to himself and his hands balled up into tight fists. It would explain his behavior these past few months, though.
When he notices someone pushing Doyun back and making him stumble, he instinctively steps forward. Jungkook realized that this was going to escalate into a fight, and his heartbeat quickened. Before he could decide what to do, he finds himself in a direct confrontation with a member of the group.
“What the hell are you doing to him?” He hears his own voice shout but doesn’t realize that he actually spoke and how he got here.
“Y-yah! What are you doing here!” Doyun grabs the front of his jacket and pulls him.
“Well would you look at that. Is this another one of your brothers? How about we ask him for the money then?” The one who seemed to be the leader of the group eyes Jungkook up and down.
“Leave him alone, he’s not my brother.” Doyun stood in a defensive stance in front of Jungkook which told the guys otherwise.
“Is that right?” The guy brings back his eyes to Jungkook intimidatingly, “But maybe we can still get something out of him. Make him pay for your brother’s debt like a good little friend, hmm?”
Doyun grabbed the leader's collar while two men each grabbed one of Jungkook's arms to hold him down. “I told you to leave him alone, he has nothing to do with this!” He uttered hastily.
The guy punched Doyun in the face, making Jungkook gasp. “Hyung!” He sees blood spill out from the older guy’s mouth and he feels his blood run cold.
“If you gave us our money back, then we wouldn’t be having this problem. You’re really gonna let your brother cower behind your back? How about you bring him to us so he can pay the consequences of his actions.” The guy shoves his pointer finger on Doyun’s forehead, pushing it repeatedly to accent his point. Jungkook sees Doyun clench his jaw so hard he thought it was gonna break.
There were a few seconds of calm when Doyun abruptly threw a punch after slowly rising upright. The subsequent events happened quickly. As the men gather around Doyun, Jungkook finds himself being pushed aside and his body hitting the dirt. In the haste of the situation, he finds himself grabbing a stray piece of long wood and striking several of the men painfully to get them off Doyun, who threw more punches and kicks once he got an opening. They managed to take down enough of them to be able to flee, and Jungkook doesn't recall how it happened, but he finds himself being dragged by his hyung to escape the fight.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Doyun said between catching his breath, still running away. He looks back and sees them being followed and he curses lightly before increasing their pace.
They thought they were in the clear when they stopped on the side of the road. They were both huffing and puffing with their hands resting on their knees, catching their breath. Jungkook looked back and cursed to himself when he saw one of the guys spot them and call out to their companions.
“They saw us hyung, let’s go!” He didn’t bother grabbing his hyung and ran to get a head start. As he was running away he heard someone yell out to him, and a bright light coming from his left. He felt someone pushing him from the back and he painfully landed on the concrete, but nothing hurt more than the sight he saw of Doyun’s body being hit by the car.
Everything moved slowly, and he could hear his ears ringing. He watches the gang members panic and flee the scene, hears cries to get an ambulance, witnesses blue and red lights flashing against the now-darkened surroundings, and hears someone ask him if he was okay.
The rest of it is lost to memory, but when he awoke from his haze, he was sitting in a hospital waiting room covered in bandages, and it wasn't until he was by himself that he finally broke down.
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°
They listened to Jungkook as he told the story with his head down and avoided making eye contact with the others. The room, which had earlier been alive with voices, was now completely silent.
“He ended up with broken bones all over his body. Inevitably, he couldn’t play the rest of the championship games that season; It’d take months for him to fully recover, and months of physical therapy if they could determine he could ever play again.” He says with a husky tone, his energy being drained with every second he spends talking about this.
“He was our star player, and he held the team together more than we realized. So when we went into the games without him, adding the fact that morale was low and tensions were high inside the team because of the incident, we messed up so much during the games and we… lost everything.
“Seniors who were competing for spots on professional and collegiate teams saw all of their chances to get recruited all go down the drain. All thanks to me. All because I made the decision to be nosy on that specific day.” He began to sob uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking, covering his face with both hands as his voice broke. The group was quick to gravitate towards him and reach their hand out to comfort him, not saying anything as they all know words would not be enough right now.
"The worst part was that nobody was held accountable—not even me, who was clearly responsible for everything. My other batchmates disagree, and even though they didn't bother to learn the whole story, they have since grown to dislike me. It affected how I handled the team as a captain, and I eventually started hating myself for that, too." He struggled to continue through his tears, his words stopped short by breath intake.
He’d asked for a suspension from the coach himself once he told him everything that happened, and he’s been benched for a few games because of it. It helped ease his guilt but it wasn’t enough. Nearly not enough for the damage he had caused.
He sobbed harder, clutching his chest as his breath came in heaves, "I guess they just punished me by making me captain, and letting the others walk all over me because of what I did."
Jimin gives him a soothing back rub and waits for him to catch his breath before speaking.
"That's just untrue. They didn't point the finger at anyone specifically since there was no one to blame," He says. "It was an accident. And because they recognized your abilities, they chose you to be captain."
"Even before that incident, there were discussions about electing you," Taehyung continued. It was what they’ve always told him about this, but he always seemed to never believe them.
“The seniors all managed to get into good teams despite everything because there have been more games that showcased their talents. They admitted to us they were regretful sometimes, but it was the best they could get out of the situation.” Jimin adds.
There were a few more seconds of silence and ruminating about all that has been said before someone spoke again.
“Maybe it really was your fault.” They heard your small voice cut through the silence, and they all looked at you with wide eyes in shock. Even Jungkook felt his tears retract back to his ducts in astonishment.
“W-what?” He manages to blurt out.
You avert your eyes awkwardly. “I-I mean, knowing Jimin and Taehyung, the opposite is probably what they had always told you..” You told him in a progressively smaller voice.
“And the reason why you never believed them before is because maybe that’s not what you wanted to hear.” You add, this time not looking at anyone.
Namjoon chuckles, which surprised everyone. “I actually agree.” He says, now making him the subject of wide eyed stares. “I could elaborate, but that’s only if you want us to continue.” He asks Jungkook. He sniffs a little and wipes his cheek in a childlike manner that made everyone smile before he nodded.
“Based on what you told us, it’s highly likely that you were at fault.” Namjoon continued and Jungkook felt tears prick his eyes.
“Uhm, guys-” Taehyung tries to look around for help, thinking that this was going in a very different direction.
“But!” Namjoon cuts him off. “But, it was a variety of factors that contributed to the outcome if you think about it.” He props his thumb and pointer finger in a thinking pose.
“Right. If you blame yourself for it, then a lot of things were at fault too, aside from you. It was the car, maybe even the weather that made the streets slippery. It could even be Doyun sunbae for not reaching out to anyone about his situation, but I reckon that’s on the bottom of the list.” Minyoung says as she nods, trying to really drive the point.
“But you know, if we’re really blaming anyone here, it’d be the gang members’ fault. They intimidated and threatened you first, and you guys just tried to defend yourselves and run away.” Hoseok adds.
“Hmmm. Maybe it’d be good for you to acknowledge that you were at fault so you can heal, but just keep in mind that it’s not just you. It was a series of bad circumstances that led to that event.” Yoongi says as he fiddles with a pack of brownies in front of him.
Unbeknownst to himself, Jungkook has now ceased sobbing entirely. As he found himself paying close attention to what his colleagues were saying, a deep part of him began to relax.
“Have you spoken to any of them? The sunbaes, I mean.” Minyoung asks as she gets back to munching on sweets, trying to ease everyone into going back to being casual so as to not add to the gloomy atmosphere.
“He did with everyone except Doyun, that’s how we knew they didn’t blame anyone.” Jimin spoke for him.
“Why not? Doyun sunbae seems nice from what I’ve seen.” Minyoung replies.
“That’s exactly the reason. I never attempted since he would be too kind to hold me responsible for anything. I'm also too embarrassed to show my face after what I've done to him and the team.” Jungkook says dejectedly, his eyes drooping slightly now that all the crying had caught up to him.
“Hmmm. How do you know that’s how he’ll react? You said you never tried talking to him.” Yoongi says calmly.
“Right! You didn’t even give him a chance to blame you, either!” Hoseok says in a too cheerful voice, earning a nudge from you.
“I mean, if he blames you, that’s his decision to make, no? But you didn’t even give him that option by avoiding him.” He clarifies.
“I hate to agree, but he’s right. Maybe the best thing to do is to talk with him.” You said in a light tone.
Jungkook ruminates on everything that was said. He had more space in his head and heart to consider everything now that everything was out in the open. They were all right about this. He should go and apologize to Doyun, and what comes out of his apology is out of his hands. He’ll accept whatever happens and try finally move past this, focus on dealing with the now.
Everyone had resumed their easy talk when he turned to gaze around the table. They do not hate him. They still don't hate him despite what he told them. Even if they had believed he was at fault, they left no trace of their judgment or intention to cut him off. He experienced tremendous relief. While you're having a chat with Minyoung, he catches your eye, which makes you double back and look at him questioningly. You offer him a small nod, and he does the same.
“Look, I still receive Doyun hyung’s emails. We can contact him to meet; he goes to college in a nearby town.” Taehyung says casually while showing his phone, with a mouthful of chocolate-covered strawberries in his mouth, earning a fond smile from Jungkook.
“Last I heard, physical therapy was going well, and that maybe they’d finally let him play in the upcoming inter-collegiate season.” Jimin adds, snatching a strawberry from Taehyung (to his annoyance) and showing it in his mouth.
“Will you guys accompany me when I decide to meet up with him?” Jungkook asks and Jimin clicks his tongue as if that were a ridiculous question.
“Of course, dumbass. We’re always here for you.” He says before leaning forward to stop the tug of war that broke out between Jin and Hobi over a piece of jelly.
Amidst all the chaos, Jungkook smiles.
We'll all be there for you. He hears your voice say. Suddenly, he doesn't remember what he was so afraid of.
You were right.
-
taglist: @reallysparklychaos @lovebun-19 @shownusshoulders @missseoulite @potaetopic @bbsantc @moderndaychihiro @bear-hugs-and-kisses
#bts au#ot7 x reader#bts fluff#bts x reader#jungkook fanfic#taehyung fanfic#yoongi fanfic#namjoon fanfic#jhope fanfic#hoseok fanfic#oc reader#isekai#jimin fanfic#seokjin fanfic#alternate universe#bts fic#bts fanfiction#bangtan x oc
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
Two Years Late (Ch. 2)
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Series Genre: Friends to Enemies to Lovers
Chapter Genre: Angst
Chapter Warnings: brief mention of death, depictions of violence/blood, bullying(? Eddie mean lol), PTSD flashback
Chapter one: X
Tag list: @soapbar99 @avengersmarauders @senkobingus
A/N: I'm so glad some of you liked this series!! I've been working on it for a bit now so I hope you all enjoy future chapters. If you'd like me to add to to the tag list pls let me know ♥️♥️
Edit: I wanted to clarify I wrote this BEFORE vol. 2 came out, just as an FYI!
Chapter 2: In Your Dreams
"I think you're overthinking this," Robin said over her shoulder as she organized a row of tapes. "I mean, honestly, you had a crush on him once, right? It's normal to have dreams about your crush."
"I haven't thought of him in years, Robin," You sighed, "And it wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare, and he died."
The nightmare in question was why you swore not to sleep again until you physically couldn't fight it anymore. It came to you just as you had fallen asleep the previous night, tearing you back out of your rest immediately. It was hard to recall, but based on what you hadn't blocked out, the Demogorgon attacked Eddie in the dream.
Robin shrugged and turned to face you, leaning her back against the shelves behind her. "If it bothers you so much, why don't you just, I dunno, talk to him?"
"I mean, for starters, he hates my guts," You scoffed, "If I told him I had a dream where he died, he'll think I'm a psycho. Besides, I wouldn't even know when I could talk to him."
Robin finished organizing the tapes and turned on her heel to face you again, a sparkle in her eye. "You know, I heard there's this old, rickety picnic table out behind the track field where people meet Eddie to do drugs deals after school. Maybe you could meet him there."
"Yeah, right," You laughed, "Like he'd talk to me if I showed up there. He'd probably run for the hills if he saw me waiting to do business with him."
"You say 'do business' like it's dirty," Robin chuckled, "Like you're gonna meet him behind the school to give him a bl-"
"Don't finish that sentence," Steve warned, whipping his head around the corner and pointing a finger at Robin. "Do not. Finish. That sentence."
Robin threw her hands up defensively. "Quit eavesdropping!"
"The last thing I wanna hear while I'm trying to work is you two knuckleheads talking about Y/N and Eddie 'the freak' Munson doing God knows what behind the school," Steve said, looking between the both of you with a stern expression on his face. "Got it?"
You both agreed in monotonous voices to no longer speak on the subject. Once Steve was done giving you deadly looks and had returned to his own work, Robin leaned in and cupped her hands around your ear.
"Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing," She whispered, "I hear he still talks about you all the time."
"God, not you too," You groaned, "That's what Mike and Dustin kept saying when I drove them home the other day."
"It's the truth!" She whisper-yelled, "So I think you should do yourself a favor, and go meet him. School should be out soon anyway."
"Wait," You said, "Shouldn't you be in school?"
Robin shrugged. "I have study hall for my last period, so I get scheduled at this time a lot. Besides, not the point, quit trying to redirect!"
You pinched the bridge of your nose and squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath. "You're not gonna stop telling me to do it until I do, are you?"
"You know I won't."
"Whatever," You said, rolling your eyes. You fished inside your bag and pulled out your keys, hoping to drop the subject for good. "Did you still wanna hang out and watch Gremlins tonight?"
Robin clapped her hands together a few times, grinning ear to ear. "Yes, absolutely I do, yes, please. I need a break from this shit hole and homework desperately."
"Cool," You said with a smile and a nod, "I'll see you then."
Robin gave you a high five and you left the video store, looking forward to spending some time with her later. Since you hadn't been sleeping well for the last few weeks, you and Robin couldn't seem to agree on a time to have a movie night. Every time she asked about it, you always had to reschedule so you could catch up on sleep.
Not that you ever did.
As you hopped in your car, you thought back to your dream from the night before. It only came to you in fragments now, so all you could really recall was dark, black water, a crimson sky, and the Demogorgon rising from the water to attack Eddie. As you thought more about it, more and more of it came back as you drove to the high school. Your breathing became uneven as you remembered holding Eddie's hand on the edge of the water, staring into his eyes just before everything went dark. Your heart skipped a beat and you tried to clear your head enough to focus on driving.
When you arrived at Hawkins High, class wasn't quite out yet, so you sat in your car for a minute to prepare yourself. Did you really want to do this? You couldn't be sure. Part of you was excited to see him again, while another part of you wanted to throw up at the thought. It was hard to tell which part of you was winning, but either way, you had a bad case of butterflies that wasn't going away any time soon.
Gathering your courage you exited your car, locking it behind you and taking long strides toward the track field. Thankfully the field was vacant, allowing you to sneak down into the woods unnoticed. Your breath formed little clouds in the cold air, making you shiver and zip up your jacket. Brown and orange leaves littered the ground and crunched under your feet as you walked into what you were sure was going to be an absolute disaster of a meet-up.
If he even showed up, of course.
The further you went into the woods, you realized you could hear voices in the distance. You slowed your steps as you approached the voices to avoid revealing yourself. The clearing came into view and sure enough, Eddie was sitting at the old picnic table across from someone in a green and white letterman jacket. You decided to hide behind a nearby tree while the conversation progressed. All you could really hear was Eddie blabbing about "pure bliss in minutes".
Drugs. He was talking about drugs.
Fueled by rage you moved from your hiding spot and into the clearing, staring down the student and folding your arms over your chest. He stared back at you, his cheeks burning bright red and his mouth falling open a bit. Next he began to stutter as Eddie droned on about whatever drug he was trying to sell, digging himself into a deeper hole. When he finally noticed his little customer was staring off into the distance behind him, Eddie turned and his shoulders dropped at the sight of you.
"Y/N-"
"Go home now and I won't tell your parents I saw you here," You said to the kid, setting your jaw. It was an empty threat- you'd never seen that kid in your life, let alone his parents- but it was enough to scare him.
"Y-you wouldn't do that," The kid said, immediately beginning to shake and turning to Eddie. "M-my parents can't know about this, they'll never let me s-stay on the team! She w-wouldn't do that, right, man?"
"You really wanna take that risk?" You asked, shifting your weight.
Eddie gave the kid a nod, gesturing for him to leave as he closed the metal lunch box in front of him. "We can do this another time, k?"
With that, the kid began gathering his things, quickly sprinting from the clearing, not that you were paying attention to him anymore. Your focus was locked on Eddie, who stood from the table, seething. His chest was rising and falling quickly, and you took note of the rings that decorated his tightly closed fists.
"You had no right to do that," He said, his voice shaky from adrenaline. He was taking slow, precise steps toward you, but you held your ground.
"And you have no right selling drugs to children," You said with a shrug, "I'm not the bad guy here, Ed. Targeting the young and vulnerable now, huh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, you were always really good at being manipulative-"
Before you could keep grilling him, he grabbed you by the shoulders and shoved you backwards until your back hit the base of a tree, the impact softened by your thick jacket. Still, the air left your lungs as he pinned you against the rough bark, a dark look in his eye. Eyes that were still so pretty, a lovely shade of warm sienna in the autumn evening.
Even when he was looking at you like he wanted to murder you where you stood.
"I'm warning you," He muttered, his grip tightening on your shoulders. "If you tell anyone about this-"
"You'll what, Munson?" You challenged, "Not to burst your weird little bubble, but you don't fucking scare me anymore."
Eddie seemed taken aback by your words, his expression faltering and switching from murderous rage to remorse. It didn't last long before he pushed off of you, moving back over the to picnic table and covering his mouth with his hand. You watched him carefully as he lowered himself onto the bench, his back facing you. The chain attached to his tattered jeans clanked loudly against the old wood.
"What are you even doing here?" He asked finally.
You shrugged and slowly walked over to the table, crossing to the side opposite of Eddie to take a seat. "Honestly, I just had to ask you something."
"Oh, Christ," He said with an irritated laugh, "That's it?"
"It was an important question!"
Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and looked you up and down, his lower lip pulled between his teeth. "Well?"
"Okay, I know it sounds weird, but have you, um," You started, "Have you been having, like, weird dreams lately?"
"What?" Eddie asked, unable to hold back his laughter. "That's your important question?"
"Just answer it," You said, losing your patience.
"Jesus, you're pushy. No, I have not been having 'weird dreams'," He said, using air quotes. "Why? Are you trying to curse me in my sleep or something?"
You chewed your lower lip and considered telling him the truth. The thing was, if you did, there was no way he would ever believe a word of it. He already hated your guts, there was no reason for him to believe that you were attacked by an inter-dimensional demon two years ago and now you had vivid nightmares about it every single night.
Lowering your gaze, you shook your head and anxiously toyed with the sleeve of your jacket, pulling at the discolored Sherpa lining on the cuff. "It's nothing, forget I even asked."
"Seriously?" Eddie scoffed, "You said it was an important question! You interrupted a deal for this? God, you really haven't changed one bit, you still love making everything about yourself."
Sadness and anger mingled in your heart, making your chest tighten. How wrong he was, you thought, considering it was really about his safety more than it was your own. If he was having the dreams, too, you would know it meant something was wrong. But it was just you. In a way, that brought at least some relief.
"You know," Eddie went on, wetting his lips. "I used to think you were so cool, like, the coolest person I knew. Then you started hanging out with those assholes, and I realized I was wrong about you."
"You were always wrong about me, Eddie," You said, "Just not in the ways you think you were. Besides, you sell drugs to 'those assholes' now, so I don't think you're in a position to be judging my choices."
With that, you rose from your seat and started to make your escape. You made it to the track field, but Eddie was hot on your heels, grabbing you by the wrist and forcing you to a halt. You stopped in place, shooting him a deadly glare. When you tried to rip your hand away, he held on tighter, pulling you closer in the process.
"What the hell happened to you?" He asked, "You didn't used to be like this."
Unprompted memories of hundreds of saliva-covered fangs adorning a gaping mouth flashed through your mind, a low, gutteral growl accompanying the image. Bodies surrounded by pools of blood and carnage followed suit, making you shiver. For the second time you considered confessing to Eddie what happened to you back at Hawkins Lab, but your gut told you to do otherwise. If Eddie wasn't tied up in Brenner's mess, you wanted to keep it that way.
"I grew up, Eddie," You answered, swallowing hard. "I grew up, and the real world sucks. What happened to me is none of your business."
"Oh come on," Eddie groaned, "I answered your question, didn't I? I gave you the benefit of the doubt, why can't you do the same?"
"Let it go, Eddie," You warned. You fought against his hold which prompted him to grab at your other wrist, holding them both up in front of you. Struggle as you did, he was a lot stronger than he looked. You were closer now, the gap between your bodies smaller than before, so it was a lot harder to avoid eye contact, but you found a way.
"Did someone hurt you?" He asked, to which you responded by shaking your head. "Y/N, I'm serious, if someone did something to you-"
More images of splattered blood and desperate screams clouded your mind.
"-I need you to tell me-"
"You won't believe me!"
Eddie released your wrists and let them fall to your sides, one of his hands coming to rest near your elbow. "I might."
"Why do you even care?" You asked, laughing through tears that threatened to spill out. "You never gave a shit about anything except that stupid game-"
"Hey," Eddie interrupted sternly, both hands on your elbows now. "I always cared. I never stopped caring."
"Bullshit," You spat, "If you cared, you would've been there for me, and you weren't. You can't act like how you treated me was okay. You were my best friend and you gave up on that, not me."
Eddie's mouth fell open as if he had something to say, but clamped shut after a moment. He averted his gaze from you, looking up at the sky and closing his eyes while taking a deep breath, as if he was contemplating something. You pulled out of his grip and took a step back, watching as his head fell forward and he placed his hands on his hips.
The bell rang noisily behind you, startling you both. Not long after, students began slowly filing out from the doors, laughter and shouting filling the air. You turned back to Eddie, who was awkwardly scratching the back of his head and still avoiding your gaze.
"Are we done here?" He asked, clearing his throat. "I have shit to do."
"Yeah," You replied, "We're done here."
#i have two more chapters ready after this one#pls let me know if theyre wanted :)#i have worked so hard on this series lol#eddie munson stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson angst#stranger things imagine#stranger things fanfiction#tw blood#tw gore#tw drugs#mywriting#q
92 notes
·
View notes
Note
FOR whenever you reblog the “choose violence” ask game at the end of the month: Answer the questions in sequence order of MK’s grocery shopping trips in March
This was asked of me like literally a month ago but I kept scheduling the post for later and later. But here we go.
1. The character everyone gets wrong
(Spectacular Spider-Man #151, Conway & Buscema)
Well, this isn't hard - obviously my answer is going to be Flash Thompson. I don't know why it's apparently so difficult - he's not really that complicated of a character. Not compared to a lot of Marvel mainstays. But so many people either make him JUST a bully or JUST a hoo-rah America military man. And by that I mean both fans and canon writers. But Flash contains so many multitudes! He's worked in schools, he's a mentor, he's a coach, he's charisma incarnate, he has so many ways he can help people. And I love him.
3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr
Uhhh I'm not gonna do this with an image because I don't save these kinds of things lol. But I did once see a long post (and I mean lengthy) describing in detail - mind you, withOUT actually giving any canon evidence or issues or really anything to back up their argument - why Eddie Brock nor the Venom Symbiote should ever be shipped with anyone else, ADDITIONALLY stating that if you were to, say, add another person to that relationship, that you fundamentally are misunderstanding the whole point of """"symbrock"""" and, largely, Venom as a concept. Uh-huh. Okay.
Hilariously, after I saw that post, it stuck with me but it also spurned me into such a RAGE that I cranked out a massive new chapter of my fic in the space of about two weeks after being stuck for months. It worked, but boy I was so mad about that. I took that kinda personally. Insinuating that I didn't understand Venom. That I didn't understand Eddie Brock. Bull fucking shit.
Anyways,
4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
I don't remember specifically the last person I blocked that wasn't a bot, but I do know that I will block people in the Flash Thompson and Harry Osborn tags at the drop of a hat. ...oh wait! I do remember the last person I blocked. They had some octogoblin thing they were going on about but they had put it in the Harry tag. I didn't wanna see that. So. Blocked!
10. worst part of fanon
Wow, loaded question. Probably the racism. And the misogyny. Both of which are still rampant! It's something I, myself, am still trying to work on, so it's not like I'm excluded from my own frustration. But I think what's even worse is people who pretend like it's NOT a problem, that fandom is a magical problem-free space.
I'm also just now realizing that the question says fanon and not fandom but I think my statement still stands. To try and actually answer it though, uhhh I think the worst thing about fanon is when it literally becomes canon. Stop doing that, Big Two.
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
I wanna talk about something here but I don't wanna scandalize too many of my followers. Actually you know what fuck it I'm gonna talk about it anyways. (mpreg mention below the cut)
I don't understand why so many people in the Venom fandom make fics where the host (Eddie, because nobody writes about anyone else) is the one going through the gestational cycle when there is a new spawn rather than the symbiote. It is literally so much funnier and also makes so much more sense to make the symbiote the pregnant one. "but kita it's can-" SHUT UP THE SYMBIOTE WAS THE PREGNANT ONE (it's called "choose violence" asks for a reason 💖)
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
Uhhhh see above! Racism. Misogyny. Possibly lesbophobia. Mostly for the denial of it all. But I also find a lot of ship discourse nonsensical. If you don't like it, just block! Mute! Filter! It's literally that easy.
30 doesn't exist so I will. Idk. I will give you a panel from an issue labeled 30. Let's go with Venom #30 (Bunn, Silas) and this very funny moment of the symbiote flirting with Valkyrie. 😂
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
she wore a white dress that day. it was elegant and silver stars were sewn in it. her blonde hair was cascading down her back, a thin silver necklace around her neck, her engagement ring on her finger, glowing on her sleeved hands, her veil covering her face.
delicately taking a hold of it, narcissa pulled it over her head and looked at herself. silver dusted against her eyelids, her eyelashes long against her cheeks, her lips soft and full, two strands of hair framing her face beautifully. she was older now, she was going to do what she had to do.
but was it what she wanted to do? she was beautiful, undeniably; but how could she feel beautiful if it was not alice waiting for her, if it was lucius to whom she would declare her undying love?
this was it, though. she had written the end of it herself. alice's lips had been bitter with regret and salty with tears the last time they kissed. all it took was one last, regretful "i love you", one last "this is for the better of us, alice, my love" (although neither wanted that, although all that narcissa ever wanted was to run away with her; they had talked about the possibility oh, so many times) and they had ended, parted ways, as easily as that; an ugly betrayal on narcissa's part, an ache of alice's heart.
she knew that, when she would step down the hall, her mother would be waiting for her. her mother, who she had been so scared to disappoint, would want her to make her family proud. her father would want her to carry on the name of her; narcissa, such a beautiful name, riddled with the selfishness of narcissus himself, however; but narcissa had been selfish too, hadn't she?
but what about what she wanted? had she had a choice, she would tear away her dress and smear her makeup and run through the august rain, maybe she would find alice again. maybe she could stop lying to both of them, maybe she would kiss alice again, and she'd taste like honey and love, real love. maybe they would be happy, at last.
maybe in another life. because this time, narcissa set her hand on the doorknob and, glancing one last time back to the life she could have had, she opened the door, hoping that, maybe, alice would be the one waiting for her.
but alice had long forgotten her. regret was bitter on narcissa's tongue; their story had been bound to have an unhappy ending, hadn't it? because they never wrote stories about them; narcissa had signed her name that wasn't hers, an anonymous author of another book that wouls be forgotten, one day.
#they are literally plaguing my mind right now and they're living rent free in my head#think this is like already established in fandom but i don't think narcissa wanted to marry lucius and that she only did it because#that's what her family wanted of her#and i think that despite the fact that her wedding was supposed to be the happiest day of her life it was actually one of the days#when she was the most miserable#because lucius was not who she truly loved. it was alice#anyways i'm gonna shut up now and just like. add the tags#narcissa black#narcissa black angst#alice longbottom#nobleflower#nobleflower angst
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE FOR THIS INTERRUPTION TO MY USUAL CONTENT 😌
I was gonna wait a bit longer, but with Hobi leaving tomorrow, I want to concentrate on that, and never have to bring this up after tonight, also I really did think it would all stop last week TBH
Wish I could have had a tête-a-tete with you, @mrs-monaghan, also sorry I tagged you but I am a nobody you don't know and I don't trust DMs, I've recently had one person disappear and because I trust people too much, I didn't SC convos, so I just thought, let me cut to the chase! but I was at work and as you so kindly pointed out, I need to focus when speaking to you, since you couldn't understood what I wrote in my reblog. Alas, english is not my first language, but we are going to make due, I am sure. Even without a translator, right? If not I'd suggest google, it is free and can work sometimes!
Speaking of free resources, the internet has a lot of them, such as dictionaries. Remember how I called you Ms Bla bla bla? Yeah, all that talking for a whole week yet, for the life of me, I coulnd't understand how you could keep misusing the word "bullying". It was just so jarring! Like Gurl! It's not that hard, no cap, I've held this in for like a week now, because I didn't know how to find the correct english words, but I think I have them now so I can finally let it out! Also I thought I'd start Monday with you not misusing that word anymore, but... I promise! Let me help, this is one of the few english words I know the meaning like the back of my hand!
BULLYING - seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable)
Definitions can be hard by themselves, I know learning english was a mission for me! So let me add examples:
If you ever talk about Tae I'll find you and i will break your fingers so bad, you won't be able to write a comment in your life
You worthless double-faced minion, shut the fuck up about Tae
You don't know what you are saying, take it back. You know you are wrong, you can't be thinking like that; there is no way you think you are right?
Does it make sense? If I, for example, decided to block some accounts which, for example, I know were hella double-faced, it was for me. Were any of the blocked told to change their minds? NO. Where they attacked be me explaining why they were blocked? NO. Would it be my fault trying to think about how every person on this planet could perceive my decision? NO. Feel however the fuck you want to feel, but if my mind perceives it to be toxic, I will not stay in toxicity, so I will not have you around me with that shit, is that so hard to understand? Like damn!
A conversation is had between 2 or more people, and believe it or not, people have the right to refuse to talk to you if they don't want to, and in your case you were ACTUALLY given a reason! WHAT MORE DO Y'ALL NEED? People are going to start WW3 with my decision how is that on me? Please. In the same way you, right now, can decide to reply to this post, not, to talk about me in your blog, WHATEVER, it is entirely up to you. Do you! And I can assure you I'll do me. keep going on and on and on and on and on and on misusing the word "bullying" I wont' stop caring because the relief I feel now that I've pointed out it's misuse; I'm ready to learn more english words!!
Tho, part of me would like to have a conversation with you, but I'm so concerned you will not understand anything I say so I can but feel sorry and apologetic. Whereas, on my side, I understood EVERYTHING you've said in your post the past week, and misuse of the word "bullying" aside, I swear it's been a minute since I've encountered someone whom has convinced themselves so hard that they are right, it is kinda scary. Last time it was in a K-drama named the Glory; Park Yeon-Jin. The verbal onslaught resemblance is uncanny if you haven't watched the glory you should, it's amazing!.
Anyways, I just wanted to correct the use of the word, for the rest you are entitled to your opinion so I don't care; definitions though are NOT opinions. I 👏🏾 CAN'T 👏🏾 STRESS 👏🏾 THAT 👏🏾 ENOUGH 👏🏾. Ayte? I'm sure you are well, I'm sure you've surrounded yourself with people you can trust why am I even saying this? Maybe I am being manipulated into saying this? Or maybe not? Which is it??..., so I don't need to wish you to stay healthy, which is correct english for "be well" right? Don't worry, if you ever reply to me, and whenever I reply to you cause to be fair I've had Anons waiting for months, and I am being unfair to them I promise my english will be better!
Always respectfully, and crassily not a word I know yours,
Marengo.
PS - feel free to call me whatever the fuck you want, but calling Megan the Stallion, Lizzo? What have they ever done to you? 👀 Like gurl ...
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
as promised, here is:
grishaverse ships as taylor swift songs!!
malina - im only me when im with you
THE childhood friends to lovers song!!
just a small town boy and girl! living in a crazy world! trying to figure out what is and isn't true!!
and I'm only me when I'm with you!!!
don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground!!
it's SO malina
darkl!na - dear john (censoring the ship name so it doesn't show up in tags!)
sksadgshdh I had to
on a serious note it does fit very very well
don't you think I was too young to be played by your dark twisted games!! regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can!!
you'll add my name to your long list of traitors!!!! the darkl!ng literally DID add her name to a list of traitors sjdhshdgjdhd
genyadavid - paper rings <3
it's just..... so cute and soft, I love it sm
and you know something? david DOES like shiny things and he WOULD marry her with paper rings!!
nikolina - getaway car
taylor literally wrote this song for nikolina, I take no criticism
you were driving the getaway car!! we were flying but we'd never get far!! should've known I'd be the first to leave!!
no but they LITERALLY met in a getaway car. they were LITERALLY flying. but they didn't get far.
I'm sorry I will never shut up about this ever
ANYWAY!!
kanej - renegade
that one scene in soc where inej goes "I will have you without armour or I will not have you at all"
it's literally just GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER SO I CAN LOVE YOU!
there was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyway!! you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody!!!
GOD the accuracy of this is killing me.
I can't lie I could write a whole essay on every line of this song and how perfectly it fits kanej.....
you fire off missiles cause you hate yourself but don't you know you're demolishing me!! let all your damage damage me!!
wesper - enchanted
idk how to explain this one it's just the Vibes
walls of insincerity.... playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks
just the whole thing where they first meet reminds me SO MUCH of enchanted I can't even
helnik - miss americana and the heartbreak prince
.....yet another that I could write a whole fucking essay on
nina IS miss americana!!
my team is losing! battered and bruising!
boys will be boys then, where are the wise men!
IT'S YOU AND ME THAT'S MY WHOLE WORLD, THEY WHISPER IN THE HALLWAY SHE'S A BAD BAD GIRL
and I'll never let you go!! cause I know this is a fight! that someday were gonna win!!!
zoyalai - peace
tbh I considered ciwyw as well but in the end I think this is ALSO such a zoyalai song I couldn't not pick it
honestly I can see this being from either perspective.... neither of them can give the other peace! and that's what they love about each other!!
I can't even choose any lyrics to highlight, just the whole song
actually wait that was a lie.
okay so think about zoya believing nikolai is too good for her. now think about "your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall... it's like I'm wasting your honour....."
SIT WITH YOU IN THE TRENCHES!!!
the chorus.... I can't imagine it any other way than nikolai singing it to zoya tbh. I'll keep your brittle heart warm?? I would die for you in secret??
but you got a friend in me = as my general. as my friend. as my bride.
this is probably incoherent but OH WELL
tamadia - invisible string
again I cannot explain it's just the Vibes
isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?
it's so CUTE and I love it
also "cold was the steel of my axe"
because tamar and axes.
anyway! that's it!! this definitely got super incoherent and rambling towards the end but I hope y'all enjoyed it :D
#grishaverse#mayhem.txt#taylor swift#i genuinely cant decide if i should tag this with the ships or not lmao#shadow and bone#six of crows#king of scars#mayhem grishaverse originals
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
wanna be yours part IIII | mcu ; p.maximoff
A/N ; Whew, shit. Okay, listen.. This one is intense -as the previous 3 BUT BUT.. hear me out. A cute lil lunch date situation. Where they're talking a little more and Pietro isn't being all weird and broody. I mean, he still is because the poor bastard is gobsmacked by cupid right now but anyway, i digress. This idea was cute so when it popped up, I rolled with it a little. I have other cute plans too in light of the plot development that is Stark!Reader and Pietro under the same roof at the towers currently, I can't wait either, holy shiiit.
Pairing ; Pietro Maximoff x Stark!Fem reader.
Timeline / Other Stuff to Note ; this is set after AoU with the caveat that Pietro obviously didn't die. That the Stark Tower has been rebuilt and apparently, for the time being, the team -and Stark!reader, will be cohabitating and also, this only very loosely miiight even halfway follow the timeline of the MCU in general with any changes I see fit. I'm writing this in the pretense that Pietro was gravely injured and as a result, he's currently recovering (rebuilding his superspeed completely as well as some other things). Other parts to this can be found I-here II-here III-here by clicking. It is.. definitely advised to read those first and then come back here.
Tag List ; @beardedbarba and @nos4ra2 are the only people on the taglist . if you'd like to be added to my taglists for anything including my MCU content, please let me know or add yourself -> here.
Warnings ; holy shit.. the sexual tension -and Pietro being a poor broody bastard in love, are real. There's a lil cuteness too. Just to yannow.. break up the tension and intensity.
Other Stuff ; tag list doc || my rules - fandoms and some characters I write for || requests are open (pls.. pls... send me things) but they're limited to headcanon asks + filth/fluff alphabet letters and I'm not accepting wrestling / wrestlers in my ask box. Any other fandom/character but wrestling that I happen to write for is fine and I beg of you -> send me things.
I do not consent to my work being reposted elsewhere or copied/reworked/rewritten and reposted here or elsewhere. You don't own this, I do. So like... don't steal my shit.
Translations, if any ; „Mi-a furat inima”. - she stole my heart + "Când am văzut-o, a fost ca și cum totul în jurul meu... s-a oprit." - “ When I saw her it was like everything around me just…stopped.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today was different. Today when he passed the little dance studio down the hall from the workout room, you weren’t alone. No, you had about 10 little girls present, all ranging in age from 6 to at least 13. There was an older woman present, scowling at Pietro as she shut the door firmly in his face. But Pietro wouldn’t be deterred and he made his way to one of the full wall windows towards the end of the little rectangular shaped room, peering inside.
Watching you as you helped the youngest of the little dancers with her form. Chuckling to himself as he rubbed his chin in thought. And this is where Bucky Barnes found him.
“Kid, we’ve had this discussion. Stark isn’t even gonna let you breathe her air. Why can’t you just find another gal, huh?” the older super soldier held Pietro’s gaze but only barely. Pietro kept stealing glimpses into the little room at you, he couldn’t help himself and it was a compulsion at this point. Bucky chuckles to himself and steps into the path of the young Sokovian’s view. He folds his arms across his chest and clears his throat. “You gonna answer that, Speedy?”
Pietro shrugs. “Because I don’t want another girl.” he admits, his words trailing off at the end. “And I don’t care what Stark thinks of it, either. She is…” he rubs his chin thoughtfully. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me, kid. Look, all I’m trying to do is prevent you from gettin strangled by an overprotective father, alright? Just tell me, kid. ‘S not like I’m gonna tell anybody else.”
Pietro’s antsy. One, because he doesn’t enjoy standing still for long at all and it’s almost impossible to do most of the time thanks to his super human physiology, and two, because he doesn’t enjoy explaining himself to anybody. And he really doesn’t even know how to begin explaining this. But the super soldier blocking his view at the moment isn’t going to let up until he’s gotten his answer, so Pietro finally responds.
„Mi-a furat inima”.
Bucky rubs his chin. He chuckles quietly. “She did, huh?”
Pietro nods. Chuckles quietly and then he continued, "Când am văzut-o, a fost ca și cum totul în jurul meu... s-a oprit."
“This isn’t some little game to you, huh?” Bucky questions, searching the younger speedsters eyes for any hint that he might be up to something. Given the dubious way that himself and the Maximoff twins entered the fold, he’s just trying to look out for the younger male. They’re kind of the outsiders in the situation.
When he doesn’t see any sign of his first suspicions being true, he takes a deep breath. “Okay, alright. But if you don’t listen to anything else I tell ya kid, listen to this. Stop lurking around all silent and broody. See, women think they want somebody mysterious and broody but really all most of ‘em want is for the guy to be himself and not be a jackass towards ‘em. The whole lurker thing you’ve got going on is..” Bucky chuckles as he drags the metal hand over his head, “Kinda fucking creepy, alright?”
Pietro nods and he mulls it over.
Stealing little gifts worked when he wasn’t looking for anything serious. The only problem with that whole idea was that he wanted something serious this time. And he wanted to make that known right off the bat. But his sister, Natasha and Bucky all made very good points individually. And they all seemed to agree that the lurking thing just wasn’t getting him what he wanted, and it definitely wasn’t getting him what he wanted any faster.
To quote his twin, you were torn between curious, lusting after him and deeper down, being just a little scared or uncomfortable whenever he tended to hover and lurk wordlessly.
“C’mon. We’re here to train, punk. Not lurk around outside a dance studio.” Bucky encouraged the younger male, nodding in the direction of the gym.
“Does this mean you are on my side then, Barnes?” Pietro questions warily.
Bucky mulled it over and shrugged. But in a firm tone he added, “If you make me regret this kid, so help me God..”
Pietro takes a deep breath and he taunts Bucky as he takes off in a blue streak blur down to the weight room leaving Bucky to swear in the middle of the hallway.
You caught yourself distracted on more than one occasion as you tried to lead the younger girls you’d been tasked with taking into a class. And this only made the grim-faced old woman grumble in frustration or roll her eyes and throw up her hands in annoyance. By the end of the little class you’d been tasked to lead you were at least halfway sure that you wouldn’t be asked again, so it came as a surprise when the woman lingered a minute or two after the younger girls had left.
“You handled yourself reasonably well. With a little work you could even be kind of good. Not good like me but good.” the woman’s blunt opinion had you biting your cheek just to keep from saying something in a moment of annoyance. It wasn’t as if you asked her to stick around, after all. You managed a smile, you thanked her politely. And the second she was gone from the studio, you shut the door and sat down on the floor, your back leaning against it.
There was a quiet knock at the door and you grumble quietly to yourself as you stand and pull the door open. Pietro whizzes past and he’s behind you, chuckling quietly as he leans against the barre along the one long mirrored wall.
You pout a little, blowing at sweaty strands of hair sticking to your forehead. Your chest is heaving and Pietro crosses the room. He remembers what Bucky warned him about and the conversation he had with both his sister and Natasha as well.
He remembers that you’re very.. Unsure of him. Attracted to him the same as he is to you, but unsure of him because he just seems to lurk quietly. And he’s always touching, staring.
This is what prompts him to speak up when he can finally manage to stop staring at you. “You look angry.”
You laugh. “Not really. A little annoyed, if anything.” you’re shocked because this is more than Pietro usually says to you for the most part. He steps closer, brows knit together in concern. “Why?” he asks quietly. If there’s anything he can do to ease the situation he knows that he’ll go and do it with zero hesitation and that thought both freaks him out and blows his mind.
The speedster is out of his depth here. You -and the way he feels about you, were never things he planned on having happen to him but now that it has, he’s impatient. Desperate, and oh so annoyed at himself for the way you make him feel. The fact that you’re clearly his Achilles heel -and most certainly a distraction, has him in awe and at the same time, it frustrates him because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. At all.
Everyone before you was at best a surface level attraction. Physical. Short. Fleeting. In and out of his life at twice the speed Pietro Maximoff is used to moving normally.
You laugh softly. “Condescending old hag who was in here earlier shadowing the class she twisted my arm to teach. Then she has the nerve to tell me that if I keep up dancing I might be half as good as her. The last time she had her name in lights was probably before Barnes or Rogers took the serum. And she wasn’t ever actually in anything big. She’s awfully full of herself for somebody who never actually made it.” you feel like a bitch for ranting and saying all the things you’ve just said, but the entire tone the older woman took with you just didn’t sit right at all.
You really are your father’s daughter. You’ve never taken kindly to being talked down to.
You apologize to Pietro for the rant and you nod to the door. “Boxing again?”
Pietro shrugs. He chuckles quietly. “It is something to do to pass the time, draga mea.”
You nod, you laugh softly. Wanda might have mentioned that while she enjoyed having idle time to just decompress after all they’d been through, Pietro was clawing at walls. He didn’t like having idle hands or an idle mind. “It’s because they won’t send you out, right?”
Pietro frowns but he nods. Neither of you seem to notice that the space between your bodies is growing smaller and smaller by the second until you feel the firm and the searing heat you’ve come to affiliate with the speedster you’re pressed against at the moment and the quietest gasp leaks from your mouth before you can stop it. His hand grips your hip and thick, rough fingers dig against the thin fabric of your favorite leotard. You tilt your head to look up at him. You give this teasing little smile. “Will you just like… relax? I thought my father and I were the definition of all stressed with nobody to choke but you’re so tense I half expect you to take flight any second.”
Pietro takes a shaky deep breath. His thumb rolls over the outline of your hip and he swallows hard. “Relax, she says.” he laughs softly.
“Yeah.” you mumble, gulping to try and get rid of the lump as it grows in your throat.
“Are you hungry?” you ask the question quietly after at least five seconds have passed and the tension is so thick, so palpable between the two of you that you can’t take it another second. Pietro thinks it over and gives you that lazy little smirk. The cocky one that currently haunts your filthiest dreams.
“Always, draga mea.” and just the husk in his voice when he answers has you squeezing your thighs together until they ache because there’s this light burning in baby blue eyes that tells you he definitely meant the innuendo hidden in the answer.
The only question you’re left with no answer to is whether this is just a game to him or whether he legitimately wants you. The former seems more likely but the latter… The latter is what you desire most down deep.
Before you can even get out that you know a really good diner down the block, Pietro has picked you up and he’s holding you bridal style in strong arms as the downtown area of your city blazes past you in lightning speed, it’s dizzying. So much so that you have to hide your face in his neck and cling to him. But then it’s still. You’re standing body to body outside of the diner in question and he chuckles.
“Your usual, yes?”
“How’d…” you start to ask him how he knows that but all he gives in response to your half spoken question is one of those cocky little grins and a shrug as he pushes open the door for you and you duck beneath a muscular arm to step into the crowded diner.
The back booth is the one you always sit at. It’s your seat. It’s been your seat since your father found this place when you were around 6 and he was looking for pancakes after a particularly long night filled with lots of alcohol and lots of swearing and throwing things around in his basement lab at the tower. When he found the little obscure diner, he rushed right back home and woke you up despite all the nanny at the time’s protests.
Because the nannies might have been a necessary evil but they have never been as prominent in your life as your father.
You shake the memory from your mind and as you slip into the booth on your usual side, Pietro sinks down to sit right next to you. You bite your lip as you glance up at him. Pietro takes a menu, blue eyes scan the list of all the food offered.
“I think, draga mea…” he smiles at you, “I will get what you always do.” and there’s almost this teasing gleam in his eyes as they fix on you. “Has t’ be good if the little noises you make are anything to go by.”
You laugh softly but your body is burning up.
A muscular arm settles against the booth at your back and his fingertips graze against your shoulders. And yet again, your entire body feels like a raw nerve. Like someone’s dragging a live wire over you and sending electricity throughout.
His eyes catch on the photo of you and your father that you’ve chosen as a lock screen. It’s Christmas when you were 5. The year he got you every single Hot Wheels you even gave a backwards glance to at the toystore. And the biggest race track you’d ever lain eyes on. And Tony Stark wouldn’t be him if he didn’t find some way to make the whole thing even better by taking the track, assembling it on a big table he found at some secondhand store in Brooklyn along with motorizing the entire thing.
Pietro laughs and nods to the photo.
“Daddy’s girl, are you?” he teases gently. Almost affectionately. You stick out your tongue and nod. The waitress comes to take your order and once she’s gone again, Pietro is quiet. Staring at the tabletop like he’s lost in thought.
And he is. Because once again, he’s trying to remind himself that in order to get what he wants, it’s not his speed that will benefit him most this time. It’s slowing down the pace. Actually getting to know you. Proving to you that he wants this to be real and he has no intention to go anywhere. That he’s different than the others that Natasha told him about.
That he wants you and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Slow is harder for him but in this case, it is a necessary evil.
#pietro maximoff#pietro maximoff x stark!fem reader#pietro maximoff imagine#pietro maximoff fanfiction#pietro maximoff fanfic
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Decided to take a break from writing to do a thing inspired by @barbabetos 's aesthetic style board for her Mc! You can see Gray's original post here! (Also go follow her).
Read about the Obey Me characters reactions under the cut! (I worded it in the style of an interview)
Also gonna tag you nerds bc I think this is fun :3 @offscreen-demon-flirting @saharahsbliss @svnflowery
Lucifer: I was not particularly fond of how many pairs of ripped jeans Storm owns at first, but I can now appreciate the small, tasteful glimpses of leg she shows with them... (clears throat)...But overall i think she always looks well put-together. I think she looks absolutely radiant at my side at any type of event that calls for a ball gown or a skirt. She wears her RAD Uniform well, and I appreciate the care she takes in her appearance. My favorite feature of her style is her hair- it reminds me of a bright ember, and is so dangerously soft. The shampoo she uses always makes it smell so heavenly, too...ah, I'm rambling again, aren't I?
Mammon: I like her style. I think she would look better on any normal day walking side-by-side with the Great Mammon though. Have ya *seen* Lucifer? Her looks don't really scream "prude" like his do...ya know? Anyways, I've leant her my jacket from time to time and I can't tell ya how great she always looks in it...What?! No, I don't have a crush on her o-or nothin'!! Don't go tellin' her or Lucifer what I said...ya hear?
Levithan: Personally, I dont really care what she dresses like. Its fine I guess. She looks like a hard-core normie. Now, if she were to dress like the love interest from "I'm Just a Shut-In Demon Who's Falling For A Pretty Human Girl", then I'd like it even more...her Hair does remind me of some of the princesses from the fantasy games I play though...I wonder if she'd let me brush it for her- AH! WAIT! NO!! DON'T WRITE THAT PART DOWN.
Satan: I think Storm knows her body well and is good at choosing clothing to compliment it. I do find it funny seeing her walk in her every-day clothes next to Lucifer though. She has very warm cardigans, so I've borrowed a few from her before when my room gets especially frigid during the winter months.
Asmodeus: Oh! Storm is just so precious. I would give anything to put a Ribbon in her hair, but she insists its not her style. I think her look is absolutely perfect for her, and I have definitely helped her pick out some clothes here and there. Though, I really do wish she would wear some more bright colors. She's just like Lucifer in that regard. I do love that she let's me do her nails, but she's very particular about the colors. It won't hurt to add in some pink sometimes, darling!
Beelzebub: Storm always dresses so cool. I especially like it when she wears one of my shirts with the tight jeans, hah. But, sometimes I think she wears clothes that are too baggy sometimes. Like, when we work out together. I'm always worried she's going to get caught on something, but she insists its fine...I like that she always carries snacks in her purse...Oh, I also really like her hair. It reminds me of cotton candy...mmm...
Belphegor: Eh, her look is fine. It's not like I really care how people dress or whatever. I will say though...I love it when Storm wears a soft flannel or cardigan. It makes her an even softer pillow.
Diavolo: Storm's look is very unique compared to the demons here. I have learned a lot about human world fashion from her, and she's even influenced some designers!! Although...she insists her fashion sense is nothing worthy of note. Ahah! Isn't she so modest? Her and Lucfier make a very attractive couple. I like hosting fancy dinner parties just to see her all dolled up next to him!
Barbatos: hmmm...I would have to say that I am indifferent toward her style. I do believe it suits her well, but I think that she should explore other avenues outside dark shirts and jeans. Her formal attire is very stunning though- I wouldn't hesitate to say she often looks the best out of any attendee of Diavolo's parties.
Mephistopheles: Hmpf! To think Diavolo would appreciate such a degenerate look is absolutely unfathomable. And whats more, to see the embodiment of Pride swoon over it- that's even more absurd! I don't understand the appeal, frankly. Why on earth would you buy jeans that are ripped? Or wear ill-fitting shirts? I just don't get it.
Solomon: Storm, huh. Hehe, well...I do find the way she dresses sort-of alluring. It's much different from the other humans I typically associate with. A fun game I like to play is "count the holes in Storm's jeans" and if I guess correctly, she owes me a dinner date. It's too bad she always declines to play.
Simeon: I think she looks great. My favorite is when she braids her hair. Sometimes she'll adorn it with jewelry too, and it almost makes her look even brighter. I must say, I also like seeing her in a skirt or a dress. She has a very feminine look to her, and I think she should try to harness it more rather than hiding her curvature under a large shirt or a flannel.
Luke: I think that there's much more to like about Storm than he look. She's always so nice to me,, and she always carries things with her in her bag that come in handy- like a sewing kit, wet wipes, and snacks...I do think she'd look really great if she wore some more white. One time she wore a dress Asmo picked out that was white and silver, and she looked like an Angel!
Raphael: The human girl? What about her? ...I don't have any opinions about her clothes really. Why does it matter..?
Thirteen: Storm's style is bitchin'. It suits her well I think, but I think she should turn it up a notch! I'd love to see that Bad Bitch in some daisy dukes and fishnets. Now THAT would be a look!! It amazes me that she settled for some prudish vampire-looking guy like Lucifer though. The contrast in their appearance is really somethin'.
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay so I have an idea for a request! I'm gonna give my boy Kellin some love!
So Kellin and Anni are on a mission together, it's just them and they make it back to her cabin. It's just kinda chill and they just do what they normally do to wind down and take it easy for the night. Which just consists of unpacking, cleaning themselves up, etc. So Anni sees a cut on his cheek and he's tall so she makes him sit down and she sits on his lap to clean and disinfect it. Of course, Kellin is blushing like crazy and Anni acts like nothing happened.
Then Kellin does little things to take care of her like he finds her smoking outside and he snatches her cigarette and puts it out, and he finds a decent wound on her stomach that she didn't fix earlier and she just says, "its just a scratch" but Kellin pulls up her shirt and does it for her anyways. I just think its cute how Anni is in charge of Kellin and takes care of him, but Kellin takes care of Anni too....
(feel free to add more or change anything you want! Tysm and no pressure!)
[ Taking care of you - Simp Party ]
Warnings; None!
Tags; @insane-horror-movie-addict
A/N; I love Kellin's personality in this, it made me laugh so much. "Sh~ shut up~" -Kellin, 2023.
Word count: 1,167
A slow exhale slipped past Anni's lips, and she shivered slightly with exhaustion; unconsciously shrinking away from him slightly. A small pout covered his features now, and his hand squeezed her shoulder gently. “Help me put on the bandages.” Anni only obeyed because she hadn’t been thinking straight, if she had been, she would have done without him having to ask— but, after everything that happened during the mission, she was extremely tired.
Anni huffed, shaking off the slight tension growing inside of her, trying to focus on the deep cut on his chest. “Did you clean this out? Or did you just try to slap a bandage on?” Anni wasn't able to see his expression since she had moved to the sink to grab a clean rag from the cabinet. But if she had seen it she would have freaked out internally— he had the cutesy dorky little smile.
He, for the most part, was blushing and staring at Anni, but also in amusement at the fact she was just short enough to not be able to reach the spare dish rags. Anni muttered a complaint under her breath, about to just go and find the stool so she could hurry up and send him to his cabin… or did he even have a home anymore? That would explain the more than frequent visits. Oh, well, thoughts for another day she supposed. She turned, mouth opening to tell Kellin to stay put, however, he had managed to follow her without her knowledge. An abrupt shriek tumbled from her lips, he was right there. Her nose was practically touching his chest!
“Why are y-you so damn c-close!?” Anni tilted her head up so her eyes could make contact and the moment they did, heat shot through her body and straight to her face.
His eyes were so … intense “Need some help?” Did his voice just get deeper?
“What?” Anni was too dumbfounded to actually pay attention to what he had just said. He simpered down at her, pleased with her response.
“Oh uhm— I asked if you needed some…help?” Anni felt frozen in place as he talked, 'What is happening to me?’ She thought, slightly panicked. He sighed in an almost condoning manner, before reaching up and plucking a rag from the pile with ease.
“Need me to take care of you while I’m at it?” Kellin playfully smiled— something she didn't get to witness often, usually he was shy. Finally, Anni was able to gather her thoughts together.
“N-no!” Anni snatched the cloth from his hand and moved to the sink, she bent down quickly to grab some, before she snapped back up to a standing position, and scolded him to go sit back down. He only released a sharp puff of air through his nose and turned around, sitting back down on the wooden stool. Was this behavior a result of him being absolutely exhausted? Or was he just hanging around Varrick too much, and picked up these little traits?
“Go ahead and take your shirt off.” Anni hoped that he wouldn’t act like Varrick, and make a comment about how she was being perverted, but he thankfully didn’t. He slowly pulled it over his head and tossed it to the side. Anni poured the alcohol onto the rag and stepped in front of him to take in the damage. “Damn. You got scratched good, huh?” She was secretly struggling to keep her eyes off his firm abs and chest.
“I guess so— those people weren't messing aroun—" He had cut himself off mid sentence as Anni settled herself into his lap, and innocently cleaned his wound. Kellin stared down at her, chewing on the inside of his cheek while he watched her form move with utter simplicity and flawlessness. He was knocked from his thoughts when Anni looked up at him, silently waiting for him to continue what he had been saying. "Uhhm— yeah, like I said, those uhm— people we encountered were…crazy. Hah—" He relentlessly stuttered, trying to keep his composure around such a pretty girl. He leaned back slightly, and let her help him. He held back a groan as his abs countered against him, and pain bitterly strained his muscle.
Anni smiled at him, letting him take one last breath before she draped the bottle over his stomach, letting the medical liquids hit his skin. His body lurched up and he arched his back, hissing through his teeth as the alcohol ate away at the bacteria in his flesh. Anni quickly squeezed the rag down on his abdomen, putting pressure on it to ease and relieve the pain. Kellin panted from holding his breath too long and straightened himself out slightly. The pressure from the rag dimmed the pain and he could feel his puncture wound heating up and becoming numb.
"Thanks I really appre—" He cut himself off with a pained grunt, and looked up through his bangs, awkwardly gulping as she smiled and started to thread a stitch through his skin.
After making sure to clean it out as best she could, Anni grabbed the ointment along with the gauze and began placing the bandage on carefully. She needed two more so she grabbed more and continued until the entire cut was covered.
“There. It should be good as long as you don’t move too much … Oh, who am I kidding? I’m going to need the gauze. Anni snatched it off the counter and begrudgingly continued. She tapped his arm gently to let him know to lift it up … and he did. The two of them had done this enough to know what small gestures like that meant.
Yeah, that should do it. As long as he didn’t move too much. “Okay, all done.” Now for herself. He stood, stretching, and then proceeded to hoist her onto the stool.
“H-hey! It's just a scratch, you don't need to–”
“Shhhhh~ Shut up~" He stated, smiling at her. Anni glowered right back.
He muttered something under his breath and grabbed a separate rag from the stack in the cabinet. Great. Even his back muscles had muscles. Anni forced herself to look away. He mimicked what she had done with the alcohol and used one hand to steady her face and the other to wipe away the blood. He was way too close for comfort, but she decided to not say anything and to just, yeah she guessed it, look away. He must have hit a sore spot because before she could stop herself she hissed in pain and tensed. He quickly muttered an apology and continued.
From her pocket, she pulls out her last cigarette, about to light it aflame before Kellin quickly snatched it, and crushed it underneath his boot.
"Hey! You son of a —"
"Cigarettes are not good for you. I don't want you harming your pretty lungs," He muttered, continuing to work on her wounds intently as she silently raged. That was her last cigarette…
#simp party#simp party my beloved#anni my beloved#kellin and anni hours#loved this fr#kellin is so funny in this#bro got a lil quirky
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
HELLO SO THAT FIC U POSTED???? CHANGED ME FOREVER. I relate to that other anon deeply my brain chemistry will never be the same. it frankly hasn't been the same since the fic was just snippets you posted abt once in a while and now it's posted and it's A 25K DELIGHT AND I JUST---- *SCREAMS**SQUEALS**CRIES*
I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW PRESENT IT'S BEEN IN MY MIND SINCE FOREVER KQMCLWKFS I'm dying. reader is great her thing with Wilbur is great I am screaming and crying and Oh My God thank u for sharing it w us I am. /SCREAMING./
no but genuinely I've been grinning and letting out like. fickin SQUEALS for over an hour kqmflsjxkalck like I'm so glad and happy I got to read it istg. u have SUCH a way with words?????? and characterisation??????? and like. developing relationships hello????????? I am in shambles. every once in a while I return to ur writing bc it's just So Good and now I got to do it thru this fic I've been excited for for the last????? TWO YEARS I THINK. idk how long it's been but it's been A WHILE so thank u thank u thank u thank u not only did it live up to my expectations it also absolutely went over them. thank u genuinely you've made my past two years pretty much. for the last however long there hasn't been a week in which I haven't thought abt reader and Q's interaction (the snippet of ‘this is how it started the last time’) for at least an hour straight genuinely like. and haVING CONTEXT??????
anyway basically this is like a huge thing for me and I just thought I'd tell u that😭💕 like I hope u know your writing has been v important to me for a while, from what you love you devour to like. everything kinda but wylyd just struck a chord w me if that makes sense lmao and like. I would've totally gotten it if you'd lost interest but I'm glad u didn't and decided to share that absolutely amazing fic💕💕
(*25K*!!!! oh my god!!!!! I wasn't before either, but now I will literally never stop thinking abt it)
((THE GHOSTBUR STUFF WAS SO SWEET)) ((and heartbreaking in the most PERFECT manner)) ((and don't get me STARTED on Dream. and Q. and WILBUR OH MY GOD WILBUR WILBUR WILBUR WILBUR-------))))))(and reader oh my god reader I will never shut up about reader)
I'm gonna rotate your message in my head like a microwave dish for the rest of my life I love you so much 💖💖💖 I've been meaning to answer this for days but I wanted to take the time to properly answer it because I'm going to ramble about this fuckin fic I hope you know!!
this fic means so so much to me and I'm so glad that I finally got it published, but also that I ended up publishing it like this, like I definitely could have added more but I think it would have ended up kind of bloated, and it's already such a huge fic 😅😅 the vignette style makes me feel like I'm getting snapshots of the important moments while still getting the sense of the reader having a life between scenes, and the rest of the dsmp plot still going on around them
I mean this so genuinely, WIPS are always In Progress, I never forget a fic, I still reread what I have of my Mafia!Corpse AU from 2019 and wonder what I should add next, same with the other like, 20 drafts I have. 😅😅 I hope they all get published eventually, but I feel very lucky to have come back to this and recognise that it's good enough to put out there ☺️☺️
but OKAY I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE READER'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH ALL THESE FUCKING CHARACTERS BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME YELL !! im making this into it's own post because i literally wrote so much just talking about the reader and dream and i have so much to say about them and Q and WILBUR and i'll tag u xx i LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE THIS FIC IT STILL MAKES ME FERAL
6 notes
·
View notes
