#anyways i’ve discovered that i love college au’s?
Text
looking to score (one-shot)
pairing footballcaptain! rafe cameron x female headcheerleader! reader
rating explicit 18+
summary rafe has been flirting with you all season long. just when you think he’s never going to actually seal the deal, you do something to make him dangerously jealous and he realizes he’ll need you to prove who you’re loyal to.
» masterlist
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The state championship game coming up means there are two sure things you can count on.
One, you have to hold twice as many cheerleading practices to make sure your routines are clean and flawless.
And two, everyone on campus has Rafe Cameron’s name in their mouth.
He’s the starting quarterback, the captain of the football team, the fucking pride and joy of your college. For him, it’s awesome. He loves the attention. As for you, you’ve given up on trying to stifle your eye-rolls any time someone mentions him.
Rafe is the cockiest man you’ve ever known. Your interactions with him have been limited, but telling. He’s been teasing you all season, flirting and acting like he’ll finally put a move on you. But then he never does.
Before every home game, as team captains, you stand first in your respective line in the tunnelled corridor that leads out to the football field. This gives Rafe a nice few minutes to flirt with you and does he love to lay it on thick.
Today, finally, it’s the day of the championship game, and your college is hosting. The campus is buzzing with excitement, colorful signs in the stands, every parking lot full.
You’re waiting in your usual spot. The crowds in the stands outside are roaring and the conversations of cheerleaders and college staff are bouncing around the concrete tunnel.
The players aren’t here yet, but you know it’s only a matter of minutes before Rafe leads them down the hall, pausing next to you, messing with you like always.
It’s almost torment the way he works you up, then does nothing about it. Nonetheless, you look forward to this little routine you two have and hope he puts his money where his mouth is one day.
Rafe lives for the buzz before a home meet. The local fame he amasses, the promise of an hour-long game where he’s celebrated for his aggression, the opportunity to talk to you before he steps out onto the field… it’s electrifying.
When he saunters down the corridor towards you, all height and breadth and fucking ego, his eyes trail down your body like he’s imagining what’s underneath your cheerleading uniform.
“Damn,” he lowly mutters to you. “I swear, that skirt keeps getting shorter.” He leans back against the hard wall, waiting for his cue to rush the field.
“Wishful thinking,” you reply, crossing your arms.
Rafe soaks in the sight of your cleavage, the way your tits press together under your v-neck top when you stand like that. His blood runs hot like it always does when he sees you.
“This is a big game,” he says. He’s rolling his helmet in his big hands, his shoulder pads wide, the red of his jersey somehow making his blue eyes look even bluer. “You shouldn’t be distracting me.”
“Do you ever give it a rest?” you ask. He bites his lip, gaze dropping to your legs.
“We both know you don’t want that.” His smirk is so cocky, his dimples so taunting, that you have to look away from him. He’s almost too hot.
“Got me there, Rafe,” you say sarcastically. When you roll your eyes at him, his dirty mind immediately imagines you doing that from pleasure while he fucks you.
“Good, get used to saying my name,” he chuckles.
“Because I’ll be screaming it later, right?” you quip. “Original.” Regardless, you feel yourself flush a little when you imagine him on top of you.
“I’m just sayin’, be prepared,” he says, amused as hell. The band starts playing the familiar entrance music in the stands, prompting you to get ready to run out.
“You want me so bad, it’s embarrassing.” You kneel over to pick your pompoms off the ground, purposely perking your ass in his direction. He feels his groin tighten at the view.
“I’m not embarrassed,” he says. You meet his eyes and can’t stifle the smile on your face, shaking your head as he pulls his helmet over his head.
Goddamn, he wish he knew if he actually had a chance with you. But he hasn’t ever made a real move, sure you’d reject him in a heartbeat. It’d be too big a blow to his ego.
The game is a close one through all four periods. You and your team cheer on the sidelines as the sun starts to set, trying to weaken the thick tension that stretches across the field.
Rafe plays fast and rough like usual, but you’ve noticed he has a sudden rivalry with one of the opposing players. Every time he gets even remotely close to number 33, who’s clearly been tasked with taking Rafe down, he’s shouting at him or shoving him.
His aggression is hot. Always has been. You look away from the field as if someone can read your mind.
Of course, it’s Rafe’s touchdown that wins the game for the home team. You’re elated, the cheering and applause and energy around you magnetizing.
You and the other cheerleaders storm the field, followed by the marching band and everyone on the coaching team.
In the crowd, you see Rafe with his helmet off, smiling the biggest you’ve ever seen. The stadium lights are strong, washing him in a bright light, showcasing the handsome planes of his face.
“Don’t rub it in, huh?” you hear. You turn to see a player from the other team smirking at you, his helmet hanging off his fingers.
“Kind of my job,” you reply, gesturing to your pompoms. He laughs, nodding as he looks down. Okay, he’s cute.
Rafe’s impulse is to look for you, brag to you about his win and about how you have no choice but to cheer for him.
When his eyes land on you, you’re standing on the field looking so fucking cute with your hip cocked, smiling at…
His blood boils. You’re smiling at another guy. The guy who’s been dogging him and pissing him off the whole game. Number 33. Why the fuck are you smiling at him?
Rafe can’t control himself. He starts to push through the crowd to get you the hell away from that asshole, when the coach stops him, talking to him about their play.
He loses sight of you and it makes every sore muscle in his body tense.
When the team heads inside, Rafe doesn’t even have the patience to peel off his muddy uniform. He leaves his helmet in his locker and rushes out of the room to find you.
He’s pissed off at your lack of loyalty. He’d like to think it’s because he cares about the team that much, but no. You’re his. Some dickhead, especially one on the opposing team, isn’t going to flirt his way into your pants.
When he spots you walking through one of the hallways that surrounds the stadium, he rushes to you and grabs your wrist.
You look up to see Rafe staring down at you with hard eyes.
“Why were you talking to that asshole?” he asks over the sound of the chattering crowds surrounding you.
Excitement burns through you. Is he talking about the player who flirted with you? Damn. He’s jealous. You give him a gratified smile.
“Only asshole I talked to today was you,” you reply.
“What did he say?” he demands, voice low. What’s worse is that you fucking smiled at him, a smile that should only be reserved for him, but he won’t say that out loud.
“He was hitting on me,” you reply, smirking. “Hopefully he’ll actually do something about it. Unlike you.”
Your response throws him for a second. If you want him to follow through, to finally resolve months of sexual tension, he’ll gladly fucking do it.
He angrily yanks you towards him and you allow him to guide you through the throngs of spectators.
Rafe has one thing in mind. He knows where the visiting teams park their bus. And he’s taking you there.
He roughly pushes open the heavy door to the back parking lot, pulling you behind him. The evening air is warm and the area is dark and fenced up and all you can hear is his panting.
Hard hands find your hips and push you against the cold, metal wall of the bus. Rafe’s finally facing you again, his stare penetrating. Your heart is hammering with anticipation.
“You want me to do something about it, huh?” he rasps. He pushes his hips against yours, grinding against you.
“Fucking finally,” you breathe.
His lips are on yours as he huffs a chuckle, unable to believe that you’re crumbling for him this damn easily.
His tongue runs against yours and his body feels so firm, the smell of his sweat musky and so fucking sexy. You feel the bulge of his hardening cock against your groin and you buck against him.
His hand eagerly runs up your thigh, below your skirt. When his fingers press against your cunt, you jolt, your breath stopping for a second.
“You wet for me?” he asks, pads of his fingers pushing up against your entrance. His breath is hot, his nose nudging yours. Arousal coils in your stomach, tight and hot.
You feel so soft and moist through your panties. Rafe knows he won’t be able to simply touch you for much longer. He needs to be inside you.
“Mhm,” you can only desperately hum.
His other hand moves from your hip to your face, squeezing your cheeks together as he looks down at you.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“Yes,” you reply clearly, eyes boring into his.
Excitement pools in you when he moves his hands away to pull down his pants. You eagerly hike up your skirt and yank down your underwear.
It’s so fucking insane to be doing this out here. Someone could come through the door in a second. But the risk of it just adds to the thrill.
You revel in the sight of Rafe’s hard, curved cock in his hand. He’s fucking huge. You can admit the ego is warranted.
Rafe loves your expression, the way your lips are parted in surprise.
“Damn, look at you,” he huffs with a smirk. “You want this dick so bad.”
You eagerly lift your knee for him and he takes the invitation immediately, holding your leg up against his hip.
The feeling of him lining himself up against your cunt is mind-blowing. He pushes into you slowly, every inch feeling better than the last.
“How long have you wanted this?” he grunts once he bottoms out.
“Feels like fucking forever,” you admit breathlessly. “What took you so long?”
“Just be grateful you’re getting it,” Rafe replies. So cocky. Typical.
He pulls back then thrusts into you. Hard. You let out a strained sob and he inhales sharply at how nicely you’re squeezing around him.
“Oh, my God,” you whimper. The leg holding you up is wobbly already, making you grateful his hand is firmly hooked underneath your knee.
“You think that idiot can fuck you like this?” he says, driving in and out of you.
“No,” you say, and you mean it. You’re not sure anybody can pound into you so effortlessly, with so much passion.
You dip your head back, eyes squeezed shut while he fucks you.
“Don’t fucking talk to him again,” he orders, his hand rubbing over your chest and roughly kneading your tits.
This jealousy, this ownership, is so fucking hot. He continues to pull in and out so hard and so fast that you know you’ll be sore tomorrow.
“I won’t,” you promise. He’s so big inside you, stretching you so nicely, that you feel your stomach tightening already. “Shit. I’m gonna cum.”
“Do it loudly,” he says with a self-satisfied laugh. “And say my name.”
You obey, and when the orgasm rocks through you, your blood runs hot and sparks go off through your entire body. Rafe feels you squeezing him even tighter and he groans, cumming inside you in hot waves, twitching.
You bite your lip as he pulls out, feeling aftershocks of pleasure rocking through you.
Realizing what you’ve just done, that you’re in a fully public area, you frantically pull up your panties and readjust your skirt. Rafe looks amused by your nervousness, slowly getting dressed again.
“That was…” you begin, but you don’t have the words. Rafe leans down, capturing your face in his hands again to kiss you deeply.
A loud bang forces you apart. You see a player from the opposing team stepping out the door, trailed by the rest of his team.
A few seconds earlier, and you’d have been mortified. But Rafe takes the opportunity to kiss you again before taking your hand and pulling you through the door, past the group of guys.
“Get home safe,” Rafe mutters to them with a smirk, his tone taunting and entirely disingenuous. He spots number 33 and smiles at him with nothing but contempt.
He squeezes your hand and tilts his head towards you as the two of you walk by the sullen man.
“Looks like you lost,” Rafe half-laughs, very clearly not talking about the game.
thank you to this anon for inspiring this fic! if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications 💘
#i was gonna post a series next but i got this one-shot request and i couldn’t stop thinking about it#anyways i’ve discovered that i love college au’s?#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#obx smut#rafe x y/n#rafe x you
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Fake Dating Steddie Fic Rec
Important: READ THE TAGS! Leave a comment and kudos! If I was only allowed read fake dating fics like these, I would die happy 🤞
I Like to See You in the Morning Light
BonitaBreezy
"Wait,” Eddie said, his drug-addled brain catching up suddenly. “Wait! My alibi is that I was having sex with Steve Harrington?”
After it all, Eddie Munson is left to pick up the cracked pieces of his life. Luckily, he has new friends to fall back on.
Words : 27,362 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
you want it straight from the heart (why can't this be love?)
emryses
Steve let out a long sigh. “I’ll do it. I’ll be your fake boyfriend, okay?”
“You could at least sound happier about it,” Robin muttered.
Words : 12,417 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
i’ve got you under my skin
strawberryspence
Steve Harrington has to marry Eddie Munson (also know as the Devil Incarnate), so Eddie won’t get deported back to Canada and for Steve to finally achieve his dream to be a producer.
Or: The Proposal AU Steddie Edition
Words : 49,923 Chapters : 6/6 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
Saying I love you to your best friend, and to the friend that could perhaps be something more
songsformonkeys
Ever since he discovered that he liked girls - and that, generally, girls liked him too - Steve Harrington has not spent a single Valentine's Day alone. 1987 is shaping up to be the first and that really sucks.
Eddie, fed up with listening to Steve's complaining, agrees to be his date for the day.
Words : 5,901 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : General Audiences
AO3 : x
Invitations
nbfutureboy
Steve’s being harassed about his love life, and enlists Eddie’s help over Christmas break to get Dustin off his back. All he has to do is pretend to be Steve’s boyfriend in front of all of his loved ones!
Words : 6,902 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
Let's Be More Than Strangers
DrowningByDegrees
It’s meant to be a one-off favor to Robin, Eddie passing himself off as her boyfriend. Robin gets to hang onto the secret of why she never so much as bats an eyelash at the guys who come into Scoops Ahoy. Eddie gets more ice cream than he knows what to do with and the opportunity to pull one over on the former King of Hawkins High. Unfortunately, it all works just a little too well, and Eddie finds himself continuing to come back.
Words : 19,592 Chapters : 2/2 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
Can we always be friends? (We've got too much love)
sparrow_in_hawkins
Steve offers to be Robin's pretend boyfriend to get the guys at school to leave her alone. She's reluctant at first, until Steve admits that he's not interested in dating girls anymore anyway.
Meanwhile, Eddie's encounters with Steve Harrington had always been brief, but he could never help being captivated by him. Naturally, he doesn't know how to react as Steve starts popping into his life more than ever--probably should do nothing, because Steve has a girlfriend. Right?
Words : 42,525 Chapters : 6/6 Rating : Mature
AO3 : x
i know what you want from me
hyxzw
After two years of getting rejected from college, and totaling nineteen of disappointing his father, Steve Harrington decides to finally reclaim his life by spending the summer kissing Eddie Munson.
Words : 86,788 Chapters : 6/6 Rating : Mature
AO3 : x
A Coat of Paint
songbvrd
Steve agrees to help Eddie paint his trailer, but isn't prepared for the bisexual crisis it sends him spiralling into.
Words : 56,334 Chapters : 13/13 Rating : Explicit
AO3 : x
Two Truths and a Lie About Steve Harrington
endzela
Steve is desperate to find a date for his high school reunion, and his best friend Eddie volunteers to pretend to be his boyfriend. What Eddie doesn't know, however, is that Steve has had a crush on him ever since they became friends in college, and although Steve is not planning on letting him find out about it now, spending a week together in the same room might make things difficult. Especially since Eddie keeps flirting with him at every chance he gets.
Words : 20,057 Chapters : 2/2 Rating : Mature
AO3 : x
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#fic rec#ficrec#there will probably be a second part to this#I love fake dating fics so much#but I'm a slow reader so#don't hold your breath lol
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Midnight Blooms | Elriel AU part 1/?
Sports romance, college AU.
Summary: When Elain is told by her father, a ruthless politician, that she is to marry the son of one of his closest friends, Lucien Vanserra, to assure her father’s win on the next election, she has no other choice but to agree. What she never expected was her convictions being tested by a tall, devastatingly beautiful black-haired hockey player who moved in right next door. And if there was one thing Elain was certain of, was that Azriel posed a dangerous threat to the previously dormant desires roaming inside her. And she needed to stay far, far away from him.
Tags: forbidden love, arranged marriage, forced proximity, modern setting, slow burn
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Read on AO3.
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Chapter 1
I never saw you coming
ELAIN
I never thought the house where I’ve only lived for a year would become the place I’d end up calling home, but here we are.
It’s a two story brick structure, with four bedrooms and two bathrooms. The kitchen is big enough for me to spend dead moments baking, and discovering new recipes, the living room is open, and gorgeous, with a somewhat high ceiling, a chimney and big windows that showcase the back patio beautifully. My favorite thing, no doubt, is the garden. The one in the back to be more exact. It is the main reason why I fell in love with this property last year when my sister Nesta, and I were hunting for a place to live during the school year.
The big patch of land was pretty much dead.
The landlord said he didn’t have time to waste planting flowers or trees, and laughed at me when I mentioned the immense potencial this place has. Right now, is unrecognizable from how it was when we moved in. I have a little vegetable garden at the far right corner, the newest addition, it has been a pain on my butt to get the flimsy vegetables to grow, but I think I’m going in a good direction.
Right below the windows, there are planters with my favorite flowers, when some of them get to big to share the space I move them into either the soil along the sides of the wooden walls separating this property from the ones beside it, or I give them their own special little planter and distribute them along the backyard's sitting area. It depends on my mood, really.
Anyway, I haven’t been here in two months, since last semester ended, and summer break began. Father has us stay with him during vacations, and holidays, and although I wanted to sneak out and come check and make sure my flowers were nice and watered, he didn’t allow it. Good thing I decided to ask Mrs. Wade to help me during the months I’d be away. Being the sweet old lady she is, she agreed in a heartbeat, only demanding I bake her some of my special chocolate chip cookies once I returned.
I’ve been anticipating coming back here so much, that feeling absolutely nothing when I do, wasn’t really what I was expecting.
Guess it has everything to do with the silly, little fact, that I’m getting married in six months.
Twenty-six weeks.
A blink of an eye, in wedding planning time.
Even worse considering I don’t even know the man I’m supposed to marry and spend the rest of my life with.
Father and his dreadful ideas you can't refuse.
“We should call the police,” Nesta says, sitting angrily at my side by the breakfast table, although her eyes remain glued to the little kitchen window, it has an excellent view to the house on the other side of the street. “Look at them! They totally sell drugs.”
She crosses her arms, and furrows her thin brows, her mouth is slanted on a grim pout. I blink, rapidly, trying to make sense of her words. I have no idea what she might be referring to, but Nesta has a reputation of hating everyone and everything that crosses her path, so I don’t take her words very seriously.
“Sure,” I reply, bringing my cup of tea to my lips for a sip. It’s cold, and doesn’t taste as good as it usually does.
How long have we been sitting here in the kitchen? We got back here at lunch time, and we've been cleaning and setting things up all afternoon. It feels like just seconds since I boiled water to have a nice cup of tea and relax a little, but considering my cup is still full, and mostly cold... I have a habit of drifting too far into my thoughts and having trouble coming back.
“I’m serious, Elain.” She insists. “It would be just our luck to end up being neighbors with…” she points at them with a firm and accusing finger, “jerks like that.”
I look out the window, and my lips part when I see the reason of my sister's fury.
Three guys. All tremendously tall, broad shoulders, dark hair, tattoos covering their tan skin. All of them, shirtless, wearing low rise sweat pants, laughing and playing around like little kids on the front yard, bottles of beer in their hands.
“Who was the owner of that house, again?” Nesta asks, still not turning around to look at me. “Didn’t our landlord mention he knew them? Maybe he can get me their number, I’m sure a call would solve this.”
“I don’t see the problem,” I say and she lets out a tiny, frustrated groan. “They’re just guys. It might be nice to have someone our age living near us, for the first time in forever.”
“You say that now, but when you can’t sleep because of the noise they’ll make throwing parties… then you’ll agree with me.”
“You like parties.” I point out.
“Not when I want to rest.” Nesta points out. "You're so unbothered because your bedroom isn't the one looking out into the street."
Her bad mood makes me smile a little. What can possibly be bothering her so much? She loves male company most of the time.
“Are you sure that’s really the problem here?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Now she looks at me, with liquid fire in her eyes at the accusation. I giggle. She might think she is hiding her true feelings well, but I know her better than she’d like to admit. She's spent all summer away from men because father would be furious if he found out one of his daughters is sleeping around, the tabloids would go crazy if it got leaked to the press, and he'd probably cut her allowance off. Which is why she behaved.
But father is not here. And if some guy is stupid enough to not recognize my sister as the eldest daughter of our soon to be governor, then it is fair game for her.
“What are you guys talking about?” Feyre asks, coming into the kitchen wearing a knitted sweater and denim shorts.
“Nesta is drooling over those guys.”
“I'm absolutely not!” Nesta says, standing up to point towards the window, moving the think, embroidered curtain to a side, to show Feyre the show. “I’m just saying that they don’t look like the kind of guys you want to have as your neighbors. They probably cook meth in the basement.”
Feyre’s mouth opens and her eyes follows the three muscled man like a hungry beast following their prey. When she notices this, she shakes her head and takes a step back, awkwardly walking towards the fridge to retrieve a chilled bottle of water.
“They’re fine… I mean, they don’t look like meth dealers,” she says, and clears her throat. “How come you guys never mentioned you had such hot guys living only a couple feet away, huh?”
“Because we didn’t.” Nesta says, looking out of the window again, I’m pretty sure she’s giving them her signature death stare. “The house was empty last semester.”
Feyre shrugs.
“I don’t see the problem.” She brings the bottle water to her lips, peeking through the window once more.
“That’s what I said.”
“You two are too naive.” Nesta says, and then in a flash, her back straightens, and her shoulders tense. “Motherfucker.” She mutters, shaking her head from once side to the other so violently, the braid on the top of her hair looses a bit. “I know who these idiots are!”
“What?” I ask, standing up from the table, to peek at the window with them. Feyre is pretending not to be as intrigued as she is, and Nesta is just spewing curses. “Who are they?”
“The fucking hockey players, you know, the Night Beasts. Won the hockey tournament last year, or whatever it is called.” She says, and right as the words come out of her mouth, one of the guys, the tallest one, with shoulder length dark brown hair, half of it put up on a messy man bun, looks straight at us, the mischievous smile in his face only growing. “Is he looking at us?” Nesta lowers her voice as if she spoke a little louder he might listen, and the three of us freeze in place.
“Can he even see us?” Feyre asks.
“The window is glass, of course he can see us, Feyre.”
"I meant from that far."
And then, after a beat, the guy blows us a kiss and Nesta seems to me fuming at the ears.
“Cocky bastard,” she says, closing the curtain and grabbing our arms to get us away from the scene of the crime. “That’s it. I’m kicking them out.”
“You can’t kick them out, it’s not your house.” Feyre says, leaving the water bottle on top of the breakfast table, looking at me with concern. Neither of us really understands exactly what has Nesta so riled up, but she’s not listening to reason right now, and she most definitely won’t stop until all the anger boiling inside her disappears.
“What are you going to do?” I ask, following her with quick steps towards the main entry of our house. She rapidly puts on some shoes, fixes her braid, and storms out the house with a very scary aura surrounding her.
“Should we go too?” Feyre asks at my right. “She might kill them.”
“She won’t kill them,” I assure her, not sounding sure at all.
“Hey, you assholes! This is a family neighborhood.” We both hear her scream, and come to the silent agreement that yes, we should probably go stop her. Feyre moves faster than I do, crossing the threshold in three long, clean steps.
“Hey, there!” The tall guy says, waving a hand at us. “Maybe you should get binoculars next time, my abs are more impressive up close. That is, if you don’t have the balls to actually cross the street, our door is always open.”
“Don’t be a jerk, Cassian.” One of the guys say, he’s the shortest of the three, not less handsome, his torso also covered in dark ink, hair short, and perfectly combed. He looks friendlier than his friend. As soon as I join my sisters, I notice that Feyre’s feet are glued to the floor, her stare unmoving from the new guy’s face, and when he notices my sister, his eyes glisten at the attention, his smirk grows, and then he has the audacity to wink at her.
Feyre’s cheeks turn rosy pink, but she rolls her eyes.
“This is me being polite, Rhys,” Cassian replies, not breaking the eye contact with my sister, and hey, props to him for having the balls to face Nesta, not many have survived.
“Ladies, I’m sorry my brother here has the manners of a brute,” Rhys says, walking slowly to the side of the street, right where their front yard ends.
“I couldn’t care less about your brothers manners,” Nesta says. “This is a residential street, parties or loud noises after ten p.m are not allowed. And you don’t look like the kind of guys that live a very… quiet life. So, pack your shit up, and find somewhere else to live.”
“Nesta…” Feyre warns.
“Wait,” The Cassian guy says, pointing at my sister with one of his fingers. “I remember you.”
“What?” Nesta says, and I approach my sister until I’m standing next to Feyre.
Cassian laughs, throwing his head back as he does, like he can’t really contain it. “Don’t play dumb, now.”
“You don’t know me.” Nesta states as a fact.
“Oh, I know you,” he shoots back. “Very well, I might add.”
Nesta arches a brow. And the tension between them is so strong, it’d probably give you whiplash if it cut in half.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The alley behind Elysian the last week of February? Ring any bells?” He teases her, and I chew the inside of my cheeks, watching their word war is like waiting for a grenade to explode.
Now it makes more sense why Nesta was so riled up by the presence of these men. She would’ve never admitted it to us, though. Not if we tried to pry the truth out of her with the worst kind of torture. She’s closed off like that when it comes to the men she dates, or sleeps with. Dating is not really on her dictionary.
“Seems like you have it committed to memory,” She teases him back, and Feyre looks at me surprised, biting her lower lip to keep herself from laughing. “Can’t say the same, I don’t waste time remembering guys who are… underwhelming, to say the least.”
Cassian’s confident smile disappears in a blink.
“You gave me a fake phone number, you know?” He tells her, like he’s wanted to say that to her for months, but never had the chance.
“Oh, I did?” Nesta feigns innocence. “Guess I couldn’t be bothered to remember my real one.”
Feyre chuckles beside me, then clears her throat. “We should go back inside.”
“I’m done here, anyway,” Nesta says, turning around on her heels. But before she can fully go back to the house, she says to them, lifting a single finger in the air: “One transgression to my rules, and I’m calling the police.”
“You’ll be joining in on the fun soon, gorgeous, don’t worry,” Cassian tells her, his confidence is back in place, like Nesta never gave a life threatening punch to his ego.
“In your dreams, asshole.”
“Believe it or not, my dreams come true all the time,” he tells her. “Mostly the dirty ones.”
Nesta rolls her eyes, and goes back inside of the house, closing the door with a bang.
“Sorry about that, my sister can be… a little intense.” Feyre says.
Cassian looks over Feyre's shoulder, like he's hoping to get one final glimpse of Nesta. “Just how I like them.”
“Cass,” Rhys warns and Cassian shuts his mouth, then Rhys turns his attention to feyre. “We won’t bother you. Much.”
“Oh, don’t worry about us,” Feyre says, also turning back around to go inside the house. “It’s Nesta the one you want to keep… content.”
“Will do,” Cassian replies, fast as lighting, like he’s accepting a challenge and he hasn’t even realized it yet.
“Good luck with that.”
Feyre takes a couple steps towards the porche, and knocks on the door. Nesta completely forgot we were outside with her when she decided to do her grand exit.
I’m about to follow my sister, when a new, rich, and velvety voice that we hadn’t heard before reaches my ears.
“We are throwing a little get-together tomorrow night,” he says. I look up at the sound, and my mouth dries at the sight of the man in front of us, my breath catches and my heart pounds so fast, all I can hear is the frantic heartbeats. High cheekbones, and a boyish grin on his face. Short dark hair like his friends, but a little messier. I hadn’t noticed him before, standing on the porche, like hidden by the shadows. Now, he’s all I can see. “You should come.”
“Azriel is right, you should come. It’ll be something small, I promise,” Rhys says, also walking back towards the house, putting one hand on top of the shoulder of his friend. “A one time thing, even. To kick start the year. I’m sure your sister won’t mind if it’s a Friday, correct?”
Azriel.
He looks down at his sneakers, but there’s a tiny smirk on his lips, the right side of his mouth lifting up slightly more than the left. Then his eyes look up again, directly at me, and my knees buckle, like they want to give in at the heavy weight of my body. God, he’s beautiful.
Beautiful, like it should be forbidden, illegal, to be.
Men like him don’t exist in real life. They just don’t.
And it is so unfair, so unfair, that he happens to live so close.
“Will there be booze?” Feyre asks, and Rhys smiles at her.
“What kind of booze do you prefer?”
She takes a couple seconds to answer, chewing on her lower lip, gloating at the way the guy can’t keep his eyes off of her.
“I really like wine.” She replies. “Good wine, though.”
“I’ll get you the best.”
She smiles even broadly.
“Great,” Feyre knocks on the door one more time, and it opens with an angry force, I chuckle when I see Nesta walking away with heavy and furious steps towards the stairs. “I’ll bring my boyfriend.”
And then Rhys is not smiling anymore.
“Come on, Elain.” She tells me and I giggle. “Wanna order pizza for dinner?”
“Sure.” I turn around and wave at them. “Goodnight.”
Rhys and Cassian grunt, twin annoyed grimaces in their faces.
But Azriel... he smiles at me.
And then waves back softly.
---------
hi! thank you so much for reading! I've been wanting to write an ACOTAR fanfic in a modern setting for so long, and i finally have the time (and the ideas) to do it, so i really appreciate you taking the time to read it! I will be updating it as i go, i hope to post regularly, so we'll see!
i´m also posting this on AO3, so it'd be great if you guys could go support me there as well! <3
ps. i always say this, but english isn't my first language, so i apologize if there are any mistakes<3
#elriel#elriel AU#elriel fanfic#pro elain#pro elriel#pro azriel#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#azriel x elain#elain x azriel#feysand#elriel college sport romance AU
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i’ve read over 100 ky//man fics, here are ones i like ❤️
(WARNING: KY/MAN, OOC, OPINIONS, CRINGE - not the authors, me for spending so much time reading)
To Be Wanted by Verimakea - my most recent fave, i love it smmmmm. it’s a historical western au. kyle is a bounty hunter, cartman is a criminal, they get snowed in and shit progresses. it’s too freaking good. // 56,400 6/6 chapters
Abraham’s Son by Satine89 - this has been a WIP since 2014 but recently updated and OP said they’re planning on finishing by this year so for sure it is a worthwhile read. hunger games au, kyle is a capitol traitor banished to district 12, eric is the 47th games’ victor. kyle and bebe get chosen as this year’s tributes and have to deal with the fear of dying and trying to continue the fight started by eric the year prior. a lot of sad shit happens but it is goooood. very much recommend. // 57,158 23/28 chapters
something about the chase by grossalien- drag cartman au. i LOVE drag cartman. // 11,299, two oneshots
the “Im with stupid” series by numbknee - established kyman relationship. kyle and cartman have only just gotten together and try to navigate their new relationship and the shit that comes with it (plus the crazy way they got together in the first place 😭). it’s just cute and i like it. // four oneshots, 46,099
kyle isn’t anything by suzie_tempest - end of high school romance au. kyle is discovering himself and what he wants right before graduation. cartman plays a big role in that self discovery. it’s rlly cute i like it. // 89,801 12/14 chapters
be still my (virtual) heart by mewtwos - college au. this is for the losers out there who agree with me that the main 4 are losers too and need to be portrayed as such more often in fan works 🙌 kyle is a little rich boy at college who’s completely normal except for the fact that he’s in a parasocial relationship with a v-tuber named erica chan (you’ll never guess who it is 😳) . he’s gotta work on a school project with cartman. the sexting between erica chan and kyle is excruciating and that’s what makes it so good. i love this one and hope it gets more updates in the future cus it’s so funny. // 18,802, 4/? chapters
it was destiny anyways by galaxy_friday17 - i am not a big fantasy person and not into lore heavy fics but this one was rlly frickin good 🥳 was i confused half the time? yes, but it’s my fault cus i’m the type who skims through long paragraphs if there’s no romance 😭 it’s a stick of truth au, angsty as hell with multiple time skips. i recommend // 53,847 19/19 chapters
It could be wrong, could be wrong (But it should've been right) by grossalien - this follows tweek and craig’s povs but it is a kyman fic. basically tweek and craig accidentally become the last straw that ruined kyle and cartman’s first date and cartman haruhi suzumiya’s himself and everyone around him into a time loop until the date goes well. only tweek and craig are aware of the loop and are forced to make the date go well if they want to leave the time loop. it’s rlly good and rlly funny. // 19,843, 6/6 chapters
in a mirror, festively by synapticfirefly- this is a basic rec in the fandom but it rlly is just too good. it’s the perfect mix of funny and smut and genuinely heartfelt with a surprising emphasis on facebook relationship status(?) 😭 it’s a mirrorverse au where cartman is a little bitch who just wants to do his holiday charities and everyone around him is absolutely batshit evil, esp kyle who just wants him to come to his hanukkah party. // 36,337, 10/10 chapters
put out the fire on us by i_already_forgot - i don’t like to recommend unfinished fics bc i don’t wanna get someone disappointed but this fic is genuinely too good to not be recommended. kyle and cartman get pranked by clyde and they accidentally get handcuffed, fall down a waterfall and get stranded in the woods 🤷♀️ it’s funnier if i don’t elaborate. they gotta survive and make it out and their friendship develops and it’s so cute and i love it. if op ever posts another chapter i will be jumping up and down. // 139,167, 11/? chapters
if i were honest with you by creamdream98 - imma be fr, this is my fave kyman fic ever. probbo one of my fave fics of all time. i starting reading it from the first chapter and i was SEATEDD for every update. it’s a regular high school au but sum abt it is just so endearing and sweet and makes you root for eric and kyle. like the kiss scene made me audibly cheer out loud. basically cartman is a freak and bc he’s in love with kyle draws weird drawings of him in his notebook AT SCHOOL (i would NEVERRR). stan catches him one day and makes a deal with him that if cartman helps him get wendy, he’ll help cartman get kyle. it’s adorable i’ve reread it like 10 times. highly recommend if you’re into that sorta thing. // 150,655, 19/19 chapters
i have more but i don’t wanna do this anymore ❤️
#kai man#south park kyman#sp#kyman#kyle x cartman#eric cartman is my regrettable fave#the at this point millions of words that i’ve read have rotted my brain
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happy birthday to @flashyysins! I know we love a lil modern/college AU so here's something! it really wasn't supposed to get smutty, but then ao3 went down and I was left with unsupervised time. I hope you like it, and I hope you have a wonderful, amazing, everything-it-should-be birthday! <3333
Another rejection. Another fucking rejection. Steve sits on the bench outside of his residence hall, breath visible as small puffs in the chilly night air. He pulls his jacket tighter around himself and sits in the chaos of the campus, surrounded by passers-by and conversations he can’t bring himself to be a part of anymore.
He’d thought the date was going well at first– promising, even. Jenny was pretty in a conventional way with curves in all the right places, clothes that hugged them just right, and dark, curly hair, but he quickly found that they had nothing in common. His jokes didn’t land because they were about things she didn’t know and her attempts at sparking new topics didn’t work because they were all things Steve didn’t know.
Ever the gentleman, he paid at the end anyway and dropped the “we should do this again sometime” line out of social obligation. Jenny simply smiled and responded with “I think we'd be better off as friends.” He knows there will be no second date. There never is.
Why do I bother? Tinder’s a fucking joke, he thinks to himself, the weight of his phone sitting in his pocket suddenly all too palpable. The temptation to chuck it into the woods somewhere is, well, tempting, but he decides against it. Instead, he pulls it from his pocket and sees a text from his roommate, Eddie.
“getting late, how’d it go?”
Steve can’t help but smile at the side-eye emoji he’d tacked onto the message, picturing the way Eddie would wag his eyebrows when he got back up to their dorm.
“terrible lmao another one bites the dust,” he types back with both thumbs, fingers growing numb exposed to the cold.
“are we talkin’ beer-bad or weed-bad?”
“both”
“shit, alright. well, I’m here and I’ve got ya big boy.”
The monster that’s been growing in his chest rattles his ribcage at the use of that stupid nickname. Eddie had crowned him big boy the day they’d moved into their freshman dorm– the first time they’d met three years ago– when he’d carried three pretty heavy totes up to their dorm room in one go. As if discovering his roommate for at least the next ten months was possibly the most beautiful man he’d ever seen wasn’t enough, he just had to be a flirt, too.
Steve’s decision to head inside is spurred only by the fact that the temperature is dropping and the wind is picking up, and not at all by the promise of sitting a little too close to Eddie.
read the rest on ao3!
#steddie#steddie fanfic#steddie fanfiction#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve harrington x eddie munson#eddie munson x steve harrington#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fanfic#stranger things#myfic
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𝖢𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗍𝖾 𝖥𝗈𝗈𝗅𝗌 𝖨𝗇 𝖫𝗈𝗏𝖾 ~ 𝖡𝗋𝗂𝖽𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝖡𝗂𝗑𝗅𝖾𝗋
warnings: none
pairings: bridget x fem!black!reader
genres: college!au, housewife!reader & [name] and bridget being couple goals
summary: being consumed with schoolwork and deadlines, bridget is in a grumpy mood but it’s nothing that her lovely girlfriend, [name] can’t fix.
word count: 1.3k+
tag list: @c6pids @melodramatic-lesbian @simpforseungkwan
at first, bridget was very enthusiastic about moving into a new apartment with you, both of you having money saved up to cover the first 4 months. to be honest, living with your girlfriend was a total dream, unlimited kisses and cuddles awaited you every day.
bridget had a rough day at college and was stressed from the amount of homework and due dates to catch up on. luckily for her, it was a saturday and she went out on a quick errand. right now, you were tidying up her room, and making dinner, just to show your appreciation for her.
vibing along to music whilst folding her laundry kept you stimulated sufficiently for the time being. after putting away the folded laundry in their respective drawers, you discovered a photo planted on the vanity mirror. squinting your eyes as you plucked the candid picture down and analyzed the item which contained you and bridget.
you had your nose scrunched up in the cutest way possible and bridget’s partially facing the camera and kissing your cheek with a hidden smile. there was a miniature face painting of a pride flag on your cheeks, right on yours and left with bridget’s.
recalling back on that memory, you grinned in delight as if it was yesterday. it was a pride festival that you two participated in, which also held a special place in your heart because that’s where you met bridget. ever since then, you both vowed to attend each annual event.
and neither of you has ever broken that promise to this day.
flipping the backside of the picture, there was a message written in black marker which said: ‘with much love and kisses, may we never forget our magical times together and continue to create new ones!’ ~ xo [name] & bridget
after glancing over the memento, you rest the photo back on the vanity and went to finish your chores. you huffed gently as you sat back on the bed grabbing a hoodie out of the laundry basket and it piqued your curiosity.
soon enough, you realize that it was bridget’s favorite hoodie and it was still toasty from the dryer.
getting rid of your current shirt, you replaced it with bridget’s favorite hoodie and pulled out your braids which got caught inside the hoodie. just in time, there was loud shuffling heard outside the front door and you squealed in excitement.
when she walked into the bedroom, her tensed shoulders relax and her droopy eyes lit up at the sight of you. her beautiful girlfriend to the rescue, providing her that gorgeous smile and unlimited cuddles of comfort. she’ll always cherish her moments with you, no matter how long time will grant.
“my pretty girl,” you greet her as she discards her bag on the floor and sluggishly walks over to you. her eyes were half-lidded so you guessed that she didn’t notice.
“is that my favorite hoodie?!” shouldn’t have spoken too soon. surprisingly she didn’t fight you on it and engulfed you in a tired hug as she snuggled herself right in between your breasts. “you look better in it anyways.” humming along in agreement and giving her forehead kisses whilst scratching her head soothingly, calming her stressed aura.
she lets out an overdue sigh, immediately fawning the attention from you. “i’ve had such a shitty day.”
“i can tell,” you frown, tilting her head up so that you can cup her face and give her a quick kiss on the lips, which instantly made her frown turn upside down. “tell you what, go take a shower, get dressed, and meet me in the kitchen.”
although she was tired, she agreed and headed to the bathroom and you left the bedroom to give her privacy.
walking into the kitchen, you tended to the cooking pot while reading over the recipe. deeply invested in your cooking, you didn’t recognize when bridget appeared behind you, instantly going for your warm touch. she inhales your scent, hugs you from behind, and peppers your face and neck with innocent kisses, enjoying the erupting giggles from you. your head sashays with every movement making your braids tickle her skin lightly.
paying no attention to her presence, you stirred the pot listening to her low humming while rocking you side to side. these were the days that bridget loved. a chance to catch a breather and soak in relaxation days with you.
“stop, babe.…i’m gonna burn the spaghetti,” you whine as she places her head into the crevice of your neck, still placing tiny kisses there.
her voice was muffled. “we can always order in, you know that, princess.” you turned off the stove.
“i know,” you sigh, turning around to face your girlfriend and her hands immediately redirect on your waist. you tried to avoid eye contact, in hopes of getting your point across without being distracted but her hazel eyes remained on you. “i just wanted to do something special for you cause you deserve it and i wanted to help brighten your day.” finally, you manage to gaze into bridget’s eyes only to find her already admiringly staring back.
you certainly were two fools in love.
“i don’t need a homemade meal to know that you love me. just with you being here brightens up my day and i want you to know that.” her fingers glide over your cocoa brown skin, drinking in your skin tone with her delicate touch. “i appreciate every single thing that you have to offer, because, believe me, i’d be a damn fool if i ever let you go.”
you chuckle and caress her face, slightly stroking her cheek. “i love you so much, bridget.”
“i love you too, my love.” she leans in for a kiss and you complied, making her hum and deepen the kiss. completely mesmerized by the passionate kiss, you didn’t react when you felt two arms lifting you by the thighs and carrying you over to the couch.
“no!! babe, bridg…put me down!!” you mercifully pleaded with your girlfriend but it was rendered useless when she finally dropped you out of her hands…and right onto the couch which was nearby.
you ended up laying upside down on the couch as your braids hang over the floor and your legs dangle in mid-air. bridget’s laughs fill the atmosphere and the butterflies flutter in your stomach, due to slight embarrassment and amusement.
“alright jokes over, help me up now, bridg.” you held out your hand, eager for reliance.
“oh no, that’s the oldest trick in the book. i’m not gonna fall for that one.”
you roll your eyes, pulling yourself up using your elbows as support, and hastily grab her shirt and pulled her down with you. a shocked gasp left her lungs as she tumbles down beside you and once she’s recovered from her fall, she turns to look at you.
with your hand still gripping her shirt, and instead of another sudden ambush, you pulled her in for a soft kiss, gently pecking her lips and giving her the widest grin you could’ve displayed.
“now we both know that you could do better than that.”
your harsh grip on her sweatshirt loosened, this time bridget leans in and kisses you tenderly, highly content that you reciprocated the action back. the brunette pulled away, “great, now can we order in? i adore you, [name] but i don’t want to be sick for the rest of the week.”
you feign shock, shoving her in the stomach as she dramatically acts being hurt, clutching onto her stomach, and falling on the floor.you were truly offended at your girlfriend’s words while she just laughed boisterously.
truly your cooking couldn’t have been that terrible….right?
© asvterias, 2023. please do not plagiarize any of my works.
#𓏲 📂 ⋮ 𝗆𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝗏 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 .ᐟ#bridget evil dead rise#bridget bixler#gabrielle echols#gabrielle echols icons#evil dead rise#evil dead rise x reader#evil dead rise x fem!reader#bridget x reader#bridget x fem!reader#bridget bixler x reader#bridget bixler x fem!reader#bridget evil dead rise x reader#bridget evil dead rise x fem!reader
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Asexual Character/s
Wouldn’t It Be Nice by pinkskies 36k
Louis goes to pride for the first time and meets a trans girl named Harry, who goes a little too hard and crashes on Louis’ sofa for the night. When he wakes up, she’s gone, and Louis doesn’t expect to ever see her again. Except he does.
alternatively; Louis gets a job at a diner to pay for college, doesn't have a clue how to tell his parents that he’s asexual, and is almost positive Harry keeps accidentally running into him on purpose.
Talk with me, Walk with me by loulovehome 3k
"I don't think sex entices me anymore."
AU where Louis and Harry’s relationship develops at the same time that Louis starts figuring out his asexuality.
Like to Keep You Laughing by kikikryslee 12k
Louis gasped. “Are you straight? Oh, I'm sorry, man. You should’ve just told me; I would’ve left you alone.”
“No, no, that’s not it," Harry said. "I like guys. I definitely like guys.”
“OK…”
“Louis, I’m ace.”
Louis snorted. “Kind of full of yourself, aren’t you?”
---
Or, the one where Louis is a frat boy who likes to hook up and Harry is someone who doesn't hook up ever.
Who would’ve thought? By iilarryii 9k
“Do you see the curly haired boy there?” Liam asks pointing across the room where a boy was standing with two girls.
Louis nods, “What about him?”
“Well I think that we should put your acting skills to work. I want to see how good you are,” Liam says smiling droopily. “So I want you to go over there and act like you're his boyfriend.”
Or a story between two boys who believed in love but didn't think that they could achieve it.
Inner Crisis by Neondiamond 5k
Louis calls an LGBTQ+ crisis hotline after coming out as asexual to his friends and family doesn’t quite go as well as he’d hoped. Harry answers his call.
Partners by 2Larry_Stylinson2 5k
Asexual Louis Tomlinson meets asexual Harry Styles at one of his college's queer clubs on campus and they hit it off right away. As they grow closer, however, they discover that their feelings for one another aren't exactly platonic anymore. But they aren't romantic or sexual either. In comes a queer-platonic relationship, brought to you by a game of truth or dare between four friends who were supposed to be studying.
Somebody Get Me Through This Nightmare by lululawrence 11k
“I am not subjecting you to my poor dog in his moment of vulnerability!” Louis cried. “That would be cruel to you, but also to Clifford.” Louis got up and started pacing again like he had been before. “He is so cuddly and honestly is also quite spoiled, and now he probably thinks I’ve abandoned him over this. And I essentially have! I’m serious, Harry, I close my eyes and the visuals of his bald head haunt me. God, how am I going to sleep tonight? I can’t even bring myself to walk back into the house.”
“You are always welcome to sleep on my couch if you need,” Harry offered immediately. “I still don’t think it’s quite as bad as you seem to believe it is, but I’d much rather you be next door than fifteen or twenty minutes away at someone else’s house.”
Louis was flooded with relief. “God, if you really don’t mind, I would really appreciate that.”
now you’re in my life (I can’t get you off my mind) by we_are_the_same 34k
Harry loves romance.
In theory, anyway.
He loves the romantic movies, the careful brush of fingers against the back of a neck, the hand holding and the endless gazes. He loves the possibilities, the tension and the wonder. He loves the idea of falling in love, finding someone to come home to.
In reality, it’s a little different. Because as much as Harry loves the concept of dating, the reality sucks.
making me sweat by honey_beeing 9k
A not-exactly University AU where Harry and Louis meet at an orgy where the both of them don't intend to have sex at.
Give me all of your love (something to dream about) by thetigersdinner 5k
As his mind drifted off to sleep, he couldn't help but think that his life was perfect. There wasn't a single goddamn thing he would change. He had his career, and he had his friends, but most important of all, he had Louis. and Louis loved him exactly the way he was, and that's everything he could ever wish for.
_______________
OR
I couldn't sleep, so instead I wrote 5.5k words of Harry being asexual and louis loving him for it. enjoy!
Peach Blossom Has Just Begun To Bloom by flamboyo 4k
Thoughts flood in, a mess of how are you this lovely and I'm gonna have to kiss you again and I'm not letting you go, hope you're alright with that, but what comes out of Louis' mouth is:
"Shit, I got glitters all over you."
*
The Pride parade has always been Louis’ favorite event, but this year it gets even better when he happens to kiss a gorgeous, tattooed stranger. Losing sight of their friends, Louis and Harry decide to spend the march together talking about their identity and their pride, and eventually concluding to never let each other go.
@so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @lululawrence @neondiamond @flamboyantommo
(Please @ the authors if you can xx)
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Modern au where the girls meet in college and get assigned random roommate and they’ve never met before because they are all study abroad students spending a year in the US. Lily from England is with Dorcas from an African country ( I don’t know which one to choose if I don’t choose mine lol so I’ll leave that to you). Mary ( not sure which country but I’m getting middle eastern vibes) is with Pandora ( I kind of want to give her mythology roots like Greek yk ? ). Marlene ( I want to give her Indonesia what do you think ?) with Alice ( definitely Europe vibes here )
Anyway they meet and bond about discovering American culture and how ridiculous some of the stuff is and they do make American friends but they keep coming back to each other and they become closer and closer but also the time comes that they each have to go back to their countries and you have a really tearful/angsty goodbye
Just feel like giving them really different backgrounds because it’s women history month and women from all around the world should be celebrated and also people from a lot of different countries are just really cool as a friend group
Anyway some head cannon for this au
Each of their dorm is fully decorated to the point you can see their personality when you enter the room
Mary is the kind to stay up to do homework and Pandora wakes up really early which creates some funny situations between them
All of them fight over who has the best cultural food ( Lily is not allowed to participate she is British/lh)
They do the American college thing to the full extent like going to football games, having parties and stuff and still aces their classes somehow
That was really long but oh well here are my two cents lol hope you like it <3 I really like your writing btw
Hi hi!!! Sorry for taking so long to respond to this, I saw it a few days ago and was too tired to respond and I’ve just been in a state of brain mush ever since.
Okay, I love this idea SO SO much! Especially them all coming together to be confused about American culture lol, I think that’s so funny.
I 100% agree with all of these ethnicities for them as well, I can see it all clearly (the Pandora being from Greece just makes sense idk why more people don’t HC this).
One headcannon I’ve been having lately is that Marlene is Australian because like, she is literally the definition of an Aussie bogan in my head (if you’ve never heard of Amyl and The Sniffers go check out their music because I think they’re SO Marlene Band Au coded).
And any Aussie out there will know this well and true, but for some reason all aussies just dip to Indonesia (specifically Bali) every winter to escape the cold, like it’s actually amusing how many just disappear over there. SO many of my friends have gone on Bali trips it’s ridiculous.
Anyway, you suggesting Marlene be from Indonesia just popped the best idea in my head where like her dad is Australian and took a trip with his mates to Bali. I’m thinking they would frequent the bar next to their hotel and get drunk there every night and he fell in love with one of the bartenders that snuck him free drinks every time he complimented her and then they hooked up one night and she got pregnant without realising and then he went home and she freaked out. Luckily she got his number because they fell in love and then like she moved to Australia to raise Marlene. I think that’s such a funny cute way to tie our headcannons together.
And yes Mary is 100% the type to stay up so late where as Pandoras in bed by nine and up with the sun.
Their rooms would be the swankiest rooms you’ve ever seen.
They would 100% all bully Lily for her comfort meal, which is beans straight out the can, and would all shove their fav foods down her throat. She’d love it though and pretend to complain about it all the time so all her friends would keep making her all these amazing snacks and meals.
They definitely would get involved with the whole American college experience but no one is prepared for how Marlene acts at the college football games. She’d spend one third of the game complaining about how this isn’t real football (Insert AFL which she grew up watching with her dad - footy), a second third of the game skulling beer and challanging random college boys to drink offs and shoeies (idk how to spell it, when you drink out of a shoe), and the last third screaming so hard when their team gets a point or goal or however it works and going balisic and booing the opposition and screaming about the unfair umpiring, and she’d 1000% be the loudest there.
Sorry, I’m passionate about Marlene.
But yessss this is such a good idea lol I love it! Thanks for sending in the ask, I really appreciate hearing about the girls <3
#jay answers#marauders#lily evans#mary mcdonald#marlene mckinnon#dorcas meadowes#pandora lovegood#alice fortescue#the valkyries#pandora rosier#lily potter#headcannon
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Do you have any ither zukka fic recs? I’ve been trying to discover some new good ones:)
Yess I love giving recs! A little warning tho, all the fics Im gonna mention are more than 5k+ words long cause I don't like short one-shots and a lot of them are multi-chaptered with over 40k+ words. Also I'll update this as I read and discover more faves!
Expand to see the list cause its long....
Lighthouse Beam: Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.
🍑: I really like college/highschool AUs and even more zukka fics where Sokka is actually described to be smart. Sokka is one of the smartest characters in the whole show Idk why he's been branded as a dumb, dense character by the fandom. Anyways, loved that this fic had Zuko being the one to fall first as-well.
In the Soft Light: As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him. Or Moon Spirit Sokka AU.
🍑: Enjoy this authors' writing style, really engages me in the story. Also ahhhh fanfic based on my moon spirit Sokka... im very grateful 😭. I didn't include this one in an ask about moon spirit sokka au cause I hadnt known about it at the time but now I reread it whenever I can.
7 Things We Did (and Probably Shouldn't Have): How Zuko and Sokka collided through ill advised means—or approximately seven (7) acts—is beyond them. In just a year, they will trudge through the unorthodox conquests of youth (see #2: The Late Acquisition of 2 gallons of Arizona Peach Iced Tea) or capitalist schemes (#5: Bought A $4,550 Jacuzzi). But how they manage to Allow Aang to Become Vegan (#1), Host The Mr. Teen Universe Contest (#7) and, um, Set The Classroom on Fire—Again (#6) to eventually fall for each other, is still a mystery to them.
🍑: Although this one hasn't been updated in almost a year, the 2 chapters that are posted is some of the most fun I've had reading a fanfic! I admire the coding put into it so that it has a creative, unique structured. Also cute little things like the scrap paper or the scrollable email box (which blew my mind when I first saw it, I didn't even know it was possible to code something like that) just engaged me more in the writing.
Kiss Me To Just Shut Me Up: Zuko proffers the card, and Sokka takes it, their fingers brushing. Sokka tries to cover up the way he shivers at the contact by turning the card over and squinting at the text written on the front. Zuko Sozin. Tattoo Artist. The Jasmine Dragon. A single dragon curls around the characters in red ink. — There's a new tattoo and piercing shop on Ember Island Beach.
🍑: Oh beau... you're so multitalented. This was the fanfic I was recommending to everyone that bought a zukka print from me at cons like I had no shame I just wanted everyone to read Beau's amazing work. And you all should read it if you havent yet.
Five Times Zuko Wanted to Die (and One Time He Didn't): “Sorry about that,” the voice says, and suddenly the curtain has been pushed aside, and Zuko is speechless. “What can I help you with?”
He stares. “Um— ”
The boy has to be around his age, he’s sure of it. He’s got the most perfect tan face Zuko has ever seen, with blue eyes so brilliant it’s hard to form words. Or the college-age AU in which Sokka fixes watches, Zuko struggles through engineering, and everyone's nervous about the cute boy from the jewelry shop.
🍑: Modern settings fics that aren't like cafe/barista AUs are kind of hard to find (or at least ones that I like cause im picky) so I was surprised to see this one! Again it's an enjoyable fic where Zuko is smitten first and Sokka is not written as dumb. I also remember wanting to draw fan art (one of the scenes) so maybe I'll go dig that sketch up and finish it.
At the Top of the World: Zuko is sent in disgrace to Alaska's Northern coast to ensure nothing stands in the way of Sozin Oil Company’s new offshore drilling project. He is willing to do whatever it takes to make his father see he’s worthy, even if it means fighting against the one person he's met who actually seems to give a damn about him.
🍑: I'll never shut up about this fic, its beautifully written, well paced and realistic characterizations. As an Indigenous person this fanfic tackled Indigenous struggles better than any other fanfics I've read so far and it shows the author did their research. ATLA fandom tends to sweep aside Katara and Sokka's indigenous identity a lot. It's even more frustrating when most fics acknowledge colonialism and racism and yet brush aside Indigenous discussions or theory because they're either scared of touching the topic or don't care. Even fics that do mention their Indigenity is brushed aside with surface level discussions you can tell the author is just parroting from whatever twitter thread they skimmed. Im definitely not saying that fanfic should be an educator for social political issues or that it should be written in a way that it could replace theory for whoever stumbles upon it. Im just baffled that so many authors will mention colonialism only to explore it's effects on Zuko and not the actual Indigenous characters.......... that's all.
#answered ask#anonymous#anon ask#not art#I hope other people like my taste#im very picky with fanfics like I don't enjoy short fanfics#what I miss about fan fiction dot net culture is that multi chapter fics that are over 100k+ words were the norm#and interesting modern aus were the norm too... like im talking about cowboy ranch farmer au and astronaut nasa employee aus#real modern setting fanfics I've read btw and really really enjoyed#no more flower shop/bakery/barista aus please theyre so boring
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~Masterlist~
(last updated 10/22/22)
Hello, I’m Ruby! I’m a 23 y/o plus sized gal who likes to write steamy stories that mostly star my current obsessions *cough* Sebastian Stan & Chris Evens *cough* I often write PlusSize!Reader fics bc curvy babes are gorgeous, gorgeous, girls<3 Currently I’ve been on a dark!fic kick so keep that in mind if u don’t like those topics. Warnings are listed for each fic. Please feel free to talk to me or send me a request, if you want to know if I write for a certain character, just ask! I always appreciate feedback so plz comment, like, reblog, send me a hand written review-or all of the above! I cross-post on my AO3 Ruby_Nation but my works should not be posted anywhere else without my express permission.
🥵 = smut 😈 = dark fic 🥰 = fluff 😭 = angst
Steve Rogers (MCU)
Happy Birthday Mr. America (Drabble) 🥵
Steve Rogers x Plus Size!Reader
A steamy drabble in honor of Chris Evans’ 41st B-day!
The Best Part of Waking Up (One Shot) 🥵
PA! Steve Rogers x Dom!Boss! Reader
His boss may not be a morning person, but it’s up to Steve to get you to work on time. Things don’t exactly go the way he expects, though.
Bucky Barnes (MCU) /Sebastian Stan
Hard To Handle (One Shot, rpf) 😈 🥵
Soft!Dark!Sebastian Stan x Plus Size!Handler!Reader
You risk your safety trying to find Sebastian when he runs off, but you don’t understand why he’s so upset. As his handler, it’s your job to keep him in line. Plus, why would any man try something on a girl like you? He decides to show you just what men are capable of.
When Words Fail (One Shot) 😭 🥰 🥵ish
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Who said running away from your problems couldn’t solve them? Well, Bucky sure didn’t seem to appreciate it.
Sleeping With A Friend (In Progress Series) 😈 🥵 😭
Soft!Dark!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader
When Bucky sees what you’re wearing for pajamas–or lack thereof–he can’t help how his body reacts. You’re a heavy sleeper anyway.
Wanna Be Yours (One Shot?) 🥰 😭
Sugar baby!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader
You don’t have a problem letting Bucky see other people, but Bucky wants to tell you that you’re all he wants.
Touch Me (Drabble) 😭
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Random angsty late night drabble
Moon Knight Boys (MCU)
I Saw Him Standing There (In Progress Series) *Hiatus*
Marc Spector x reader, eventual Steven Grant x reader
Marc Spector has become somewhat of a regular at your (very legitimate and not at all illegal) business-much to his chagrin. When three months roll by with no word from your grumpy “friend” you decide to search him out. What you discover has you baffled.
Series Masterlist
Lloyd Hansen (The Gray Man)
Actions Have Consequences (Drabble) 😈 😭
Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Reader
Lloyd is so happy to have you home, but he needs to show you what happens when you don’t listen to his rules.
Front Row Seat (One Shot) 😈 🥵 😭
Soft!Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Plus Size!Reader
Lloyd gives you something to do while he’s getting information out of his target–keep his cock nice and warm.
Put On The Costume (Drabble) 😭 😈
Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Reader
Late night angsty drabble 💍
Ransom Drysdale (Knives Out)
What’s In A Name? (One Shot) 😭 🥰
Soft!Ransom Drysdale x Plus Size!Reader
You finally tell Ransom how much you hate the nickname he gave you.
So You Want To Tango? (In Progress Series) 😈 🥵 😭
Stepbro!Ransom Drysdale x Virgin!Plus Size!Reader
All you were trying to do was lose your v-card, was that too much to ask? Apparently so, according to your stepbrother.
Castiel Novak (Supernatural)
Kiddo (Modern Day AU Completed Series) 🥰 😭 🥵
Older Bro’s Best Friend!Castiel x College Student!Reader
What can a girl do when the guy she’s loved since middle school still calls her “Kiddo”? Well, maybe a night no one expected and a few too many drinks can change everything
Pt.1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3 🥵
Jack Kline (Supernatural)
Baking With The Devil’s Son (One Shot) 🥰
Jack Kline x Reader Platonic Relationship
It’s Jack’s birthday and you’re gonna make sure it’s a celebration to remember! Which means you get to deal with baking the cake. Jack does have some concerns about your expertise, though. (For @squirrel-moose-winchester Crack Fic Challenge. My prompt was ‘Jack Asks Questions’)
#Masterlist#My writing#rubynationwins#bucky barnes#castiel#castiel novak#jack kline#Marvel#marvel fanfiction#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#fanifiction#steve rogers#the gray man#lloyd hansen x reader#lloyd hansen#mcu#steve rogers x reader#Steve Rogers x plus size reader#plus size reader#Chris Evans#Sebastian Stan#sebastian stan x reader#dark!sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x plus size reader#plus size character#plus size reader insert#plus size!reader#Knives Out#ransom drysdale
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sooo super intrigued by motorcycle accident bucky….. bucky with tbi… u said it’s niche and it IS and it’s so special to me and i feel like only u could do it justice :* mwah
me @ you ,,, i am swooning dramatically. real time reaction
AUGH i’ve already spent an obscene amount of time thinking abt it and the specifics of how it affected his relationship with Steve and his general like… life trajectory.
i was gonna have it be grad student! stark(implied adopted)reader x bucky where she needs a place to live that’s affordable on the grad stipend and bucky lives ~10min from campus and has a room for rent that’s Cheap because he knows her family. kinda ended up fusing it with “dad’s best friend except it’s dad’s worst tenuous acquaintance” thing I was playing with where the motorcycle accident that fucked his whole life up was also the one that killed tony’s parents. technically it wasn’t his fault but also if he hadn’t been there it wouldn’t have happened. the canon parallels r paralleling. anyway i just like the “oh my god your dad is going to literally kill me” vibes and then also the thought of the OG6 avengers + co as a group of average suburban white people who have lame bbqs and other such get-togethers fairly often. in my little au Tony and Steve becoming friends probably happened when RC was around ~10 years old and Bucky only ever started being dragged to these little events when RC was 17-18 and only ever when Steve’s hosting because tony hates his guts. he knows it’s irrational and it wasn’t actually bucky’s fault but as per canon he’s an emotional manchild (affectionate… i still love u tony you’re just a fucking hot mess).
anyway as you can imagine he’s less than thrilled about her moving into Bucky’s spare room but she’s 22-24ish and that’s an Adult, also it’s her stipend and thus her call and Bucky is charging criminally little. and then,,, Oh No, He’s Hot :/ she kind of already knew that because he’s occasionally at the little gatherings even if it’s just standing in sullen silence on the outskirts of the group of people. but one-on-one it’s Worse because he’s also pretty cool and funny and nice? and then. Developing Relationship. he starts cooking extra when he makes dinner because he discovers RC only eats Garbage College Food and finds it frankly unacceptable. eventually she gets comfortable with him as a roommate and they will both hang out in the living room and watch garbage TV or whatever movie is on which devolves over time into actually watching stuff Together. maybe some weedsmoking elements (common in ppl w chronic pain who can’t take painkillers for whatever reason but also just makes my brain go brrrr i would sooo smoke with him. sighs longingly)
and then because im a massive fucking sap there’s the psychological elements of Guilt and Trauma and how life-altering events can separate you from your friends and stunt your development while simultaneously making you weirdly wise in some ways. and the kind of double-sided coin that is the fact that when truly terrible things happen to people sometimes nobody takes the time to really try to save them, and they’re not necessarily owed the time and sacrifice that would entail, but it still really sucks. for this specifically im thinking abt how steve maybe kind of just grew apart from bucky during his Struggles with his new disability + the pain meds thing + his life basically being changed beyond recognition in the blink of an eye. not out of malice or anything, he just… went off to college (for architecture. According To My Terminally Overdetailed Mind) and wasn’t around as much and didn’t really notice Bucky sort of slipping away until it was too late. and then he’s busy with his career and has a steady girlfriend and even getting married while Bucky is trying to not get fired from another shit blue collar job in their hometown for being either in too much pain or too sick to work. this is essentially the modern version of the dreaded fucking time travel scene in the sense that steve grows up and moves on and bucky’s just. trapped. missed out on a lot of normal development because he was kind of just fighting to Stay Alive and not like. living. the canon parallels paralleling AGAIN.
anyway eventually he manages to get clean and stay that way, but he does it for the most part alone. and i imagine the first time he tells RC all this she’s BLINDINGLY mad at steve the way twenty-somethings with limited irl experience and an idealized view of the world would be. and he’s like :/ no, he didn’t really do anything wrong, the world is just Like That. it wasn’t steve’s job to save him or put his own life on hold trying to get Bucky’s back on track and while it’s kind of shitty and definitely unfair, Steve had his own life to figure out and bucky wouldn’t have wanted him to waste it trying to drag him out of the hole he was in. sometimes bad shit just Happens and nobody will save you and you have to just keep going anyways, and that’s Life.
(in her little romantic 20somethings head like ‘i would have tried to save you consequences be damned’ the hubris of youth etc etc)
on the flipside of that Bucky thinks he’s going to be stuck in this sort of passive limbo of being Fine but not necessarily happy, healthy but not necessarily Thriving, etc Forever, n what he gets from RC is somebody who HASN’T been jaded by an ableist and hypercapitalist society yet. who, instead of looking at him and seeing a guy who missed the chance to do anything with his life due to trauma and addiction and whatever, sees somebody who survived so much and has the drive and willpower to do literally whatever he wants and plenty of time left to do it.
obligatory bucky riding motorcycle again scene. idk what he wants to do with his life but he’ll do it by god. maybe he wants to be a mechanic and open his own shop, maybe his parents left him money and he’d always just figured he’d let it sit until he died. idk yet. The Power Of Love Babey (more like the power of having even one (1) person look you dead in the eyes and be like ‘you haven’t missed out on your life, you’re not a fuckup you’re a survivor and i really think you can do anything!!!’ vs people who grew up with him kind of treating him either like he’s fragile or immature or kind of a failure. )
also the first person to find out you two are fooling around is nat who’s married to clint (i h8 natbruce u will never see me cop for natbruce.) and im thinking clint is probably ~15 years older than her which is in part why she Recognizes what’s up between you two n its not like she’s going to judge but she’s definitely like girl,,, your dad is going to flip if he finds out and also like… just Be Careful.
anyway the second you tell me you like my weird little AUs i puke out all my thoughts like a cat with a hairball THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME WLFJGJGKGJGJFKFKFKFJGJF *unintelligible noises*
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I’m currently grinding out my bang fic and I’ve noticed that I’ve never been more creative in my life lmao. But I kind of want to start working on this idea that I’ve had for years. I really want to work on it, just to give myself a break from my bang fic (which I’ve written almost 25k words for within the last week lmao)
The Love Project au
So I was thinking that this would be based in a universe that the upside down doesn’t exist. But douchebag jock Steve Harrington being partnered up on a project with Asshole Freak Eddie Munson. Where every student in the class has been given a assignment on real world issues. (Racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ablism, classism etc.) and have to do research on said issue. Do slides and make sure to not do the bare minimum.
But I have this idea of Steve Harrington who has never explored sexuality before, but also doesn’t give a shit about who people screw on their free time getting assigned to do a project on the LGBTQ community. Of course these are very sensitive topics but he is in a college class that he willingly signed up for. (I’m not sure what kind of class would do this maybe history?) and he’s partnered with Eddie who is very much apart of the community but is kind of introverted and hasn’t branched out to explore so he takes this as a opportunity. Like certain parts would of course be angsty. I’m thinking this would be a college au.
Like I have numerous scenes that I can think of that I would love to write. Just Steve reaching out to a GSA and asking if there was anyway he could interview people in the community to get a better understanding leading him to be at a respecful gay couples home getting his nails done by their kids while talking about oppression. Or being man handled by a fem lesbian who proves that looks doesn’t mean shit in the LGBTQ community.
Eddie joins him on interviews as well and doesn’t expect to end up being put in Drag with Steve who is way to chill with all of this. That and just the both of them going on a journey discovering themselves and bonding over hating Ellen. Like I have so many ideas for this ahhhhh
Would this be something anyone would read? 😭 this idea might end back up in my notes right next to my batman au or my time loop idea lmao
#stranger things#bxb#steve x eddie#steddie#steveddie#love project#probably cheesy#but I don’t care#I need a excuse to get Steve to be in a room with drag queens#more excuse of him getting his nails done by children
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okay idk if you've listened to evermore but i cant stop thinking about tis the damn season and dorothea being about kylux, with hux being dorothea and then i get sad lol
IM SO FASCINATED BY OUR DIFFERING KYLUX EVERMORE THOUGHTS OH MY GOD
I’m a folklore girlie at my CORE even tho I’ve been listening since debut so ofc i also love evermore the VIBES!!
(Hold on im saving this as a draft real quick this is worth getting out of bed to use the computer)
So i absolutely see your point about dorothea, but I think i get lost on that a bit because of the high school themes, and at 28 I have so much trouble reading high school aus, they make me feel gross? even college aus are starting to get that way, so I'm mainly writing grad/law school if i play with academia.
(if ur looking through my ao3 bookmarks this doesn't, weirdly, apply to ships i discovered WHILE in high school. thank god, I read so much steter fan fiction when I'm in a particularly foul mood.)
TIS THE DAMN SEASON THO
now that's a got the germination of a fic in me. It hasn't made the list of "actual aus I'm going to write" but it'll get there once I have even a HINT of plot.
I have a big au in my head about champagne problems as the starting song from Hux's POV, where he turns down the proposal of the proper society candidate and then runs away and meets kylo and it's a whirlwind romance?? I love that shit, I swear??
but RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME IS MY BIGGEST FUCKING HUX SONG THO
like imagine a world were they wERE together and then starkiller happened and everything goes to shit and it's over, but KYLO NEVER SAYS ANYTHING and hux iS STILL AT THE REST-AU-RANT
I have cried to this au that exists ONLY IN MY HEAD
REAL HUMAN TEARS ABOUT IT ANON
(It's also on my playlist for the KYlux big bang but in that au it's entirely in kylo's head, and more a statement on his state of mind than the actual plot. THat fic is ONLY GOOD VIBES it's 100k of self indulgence and honestly a shameful amount of smut)
Willow also works for Hux, I feel like? It's an au, obviously, but I'm sure you've all fuckin noticed I only write modern AUs Im an absolute SLUT for them.
I just feel like "They count me out time and time again," and "show me the places were the others gave you scars" are pARTICULARLY good lines for them?
Gold rush is also perfect for any AU were you have Hux feeling self conscious? It's a song that's entirely about not wanting to fall in love, because you think it's not realistic? Like, it's about dreaming how good a love could be and then denying yourself it?
Tolerate it is great for a break up au from Kylo's perspective, absolutely, especially if you make kylo young enough that their age difference is proportional enough to matter, to change the dynamic of their relationship?
This sentence is just an appreciation of no body no crime i'm not using it for a kylux au its just a fuCKING GOOD SONG. Signed, former olive garden employee
Don't get me started on your losing me btw i wILL have a break down.
anyway yes I have mANY THOUGHTS about evermore this is surely both too much and not what you asked for but I hope it was at least enjoyable!!
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State of the Blog 01.01.23
Taking a quick break from queues for an announcement: Happy New Year, all!
For this state of the blog update, I’ve decided to show my hand a bit and list every one of the many projects I’ve been kicking around. Think of this as a kind of New Year’s Resolution, perhaps? I certainly won’t get to all of these, but I’m making it my goal in the coming year to at least finish a few!
(And yes, if one of these piques your interest, feel free to reply/message/reblog/etc. No guarantees, but it would certainly move it up in priority!)
Multichapter Fanfics
-If the Fifth Found Out: AU in which the Reverend Parents invite a Fifth adept over to exorcize Wake’s revenant. Abigail and Magnus then proceed to discover a war crime, report a war crime, and adopt a war crime in the aftermath. (Or they try to, anyway. It’s complicated, they only manage to get Gideon at first.)
-The Mysterious Curse of Castle Drearburh: Rumor has it that any suitor who seeks the Reverend Daughter’s hand in marriage is cursed to die soon after. Cam and Pal therefore put on their detective hats to investigate… by using negotiations for Camilla’s marriage to Harrowhark as cover! A Canon Divergence/Fake Arranged Marriage/Mystery AU, where determining the divergence event is part of the mystery. Also featuring: my aroace Cam headcanons, and eventual Griddlehark.
-Butterfly Daze: Seemingly typical Griddlehark Modern/College AU with a supernatural twist. But is Kiriona’s new roommate a vampire? A cryptid? A ghost? Or just a normal, if traumatized kid? Turns out the answer is none of the above… and John, the loving father who has always been part of Kiriona’s life, may know more than he’s letting on.
-Puella Magi Nonagesimus 💀 Magica: Crossover with the setting of magical girl series Madoka Magica, and a continuation of this snippet. TL;DR: magical girls as an excuse for a Time Travel AU. The story is split between the present day survivors in the wreckage of Canaan House, where Harrow and Gideon learn the ins and outs of being a magical girl while bodysharing, and Harrow’s wish-induced dreams of the past, where she and Gideon try to forge a better timeline.
Fanfic Oneshots, in order of more silly to more serious
-harrowhark nonagesimus does not like pizza: God orders pizza for the Lyctors on the Mithraeum. (Somehow.) This goes over exactly as well as you’d expect.
-Effervescent: In which Abigail is very confused as 200 dead Ninth children (led by a handful of shitty teens among them) attempt to crash Harrow’s River Bubble AU party.
-Growing Pains: Character study of ~13 year old Harrow, in which Gideon gets her first period and assumes (quite logically) that it must be another of Harrow’s attempts to kill her.
-All That Glitters: Harryanthe Arranged Marriage AU, where Harrow is running the riskiest puppet show of her life on the Third, Ianthe is initially pissed her dad is marrying her off to some weak-willed nun, and Yakety Sax is probably playing in the background as clueless narrator Coronabeth keeps dragging both of them off to various social events.
-Reverend Daughter for a Day: Back in their bodies and on the Ninth for [insert vague handwavy reasons], Harrow proposes that she and Gideon switch places. For one day, Harrow will be the servant and obey any orders Gideon gives her. No refusals, no limits. Naturally, everything that can go wrong, does go wrong.
Misc Projects
-Keep a Consistently Active Tumblr: For whatever reason, actually posting things as opposed to lurking is a major struggle for me, but let’s see how long I can keep this up! I’ve still got a few more analysis rambles on the backburner, and plenty of material for themed queues… the trick will be crossing that last step and actually putting them up.
-Gideon: The Last Bonebender: You know those “if TLT was written by a straight, cis dude, what would be changed?” satire posts? Imagine if instead, Gideon the Ninth was adapted for Hollywood by a straight, cis director. Just how bad could it be? Note: this is the closest project to being finished, but needs reworking to be less cynical and depressing. Oops...
-Gideon the Ninth for D&D 5e: A homebrew module that uses GtN as a jumping off point for a spooky dungeon and murder mystery adventure. Try your hand at the other Lyctor puzzles! Play out a full cavalier tournament between all the Houses! Attempt and probably fail to save Jeannemary and Isaac from their fate! …And yes, someone’s going to have to become a Lyctor at the end. Not happening while the owners of D&D are being jerks, that’s for sure.
-TLT Fanfic Rec Lists: At the moment, I’m up to August 2022 in my chronological journey through the AO3 TLT tag. And once I’ve caught up, I’ll have recs to share! Not sure if it would be better to do longer / broader topic lists, or lots of weird and hyper-specific themes like “Gideon Joins the Cohort AUs” or “Life on the Sixth” or “In Which Ianthe Is There.” Maybe a mix of both?
#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrowhark nonagesimus#gideon nav#griddlehark#my tlt stuff#my ramblings#state of the blog#fanfic#having spectacularly failed to find the time for nanowrimo or yuletide#fingers crossed this will work out better#^^;
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I have suddenly thought of Stanford sastiel and I need your thoughts about it. I know you're sam/brady Stanford but just indulge me for a lil bit ok. Or wait you know what maybe brady fits into this sastiel Stanford au too. I want to know alllllll your thoughtsss
i haven’t given a lot of thought to stanford sastiel mostly just bc i have so many questions about it myself?? what would the premise be and how would it work with cas still heaven’s soldier and with sam knowing nothing about angels as a hunter and…
BUT now that you’ve given me the opportunity to actually give it some thought. i think the key player in this would be sam’s faith. maybe cas has been ordered to keep an eye on lucifer’s vessel, maybe he hasn’t been told about the whole vessel thing but knows at the least how sam is involved with azazel, how he’s an abomination and quite possibly an antichrist of some sort or another. and cas is a good soldier of heaven but he’s also just so in love with humanity and his curiosity gets the better of him and he goes down to meet sam in person, telling himself it’s to keep a better eye on him (but really he just saw sam praying one day and something deep inside of him was desperate to make sense of a boy king of hell who prays and something even deeper wanted to know what sam was praying about, wanted sam to pray to him, so he could hear).
obviously cas doesn’t tell sam anything about who he is or heaven or anything and he tries very hard to limit things to “accidentally” bumping into sam every now and again. but he isn’t be able to resist talking to sam a little more every time, and maybe they start to become actual friends, and cas knows the technical details about sam’s disloyal rebellion from his father but something tugs at him when he hears sam actually talk about it, and he starts to realize that anything sam does, even the drastic, lucifer-esque things—it’s all out of heart, and faith, and most of all hope.
maybe cas starts to question certain things heaven has told him. maybe cas starts to pray alongside him. maybe they’re both praying to god, and a little bit to neglectful fathers at the same time. and i think their story is absolutely of love, but i would also very much like to believe it is mostly one of hope, because i will make sastiel about healing no matter the context. (and also cas discovering how amazing hugs are. obviously.)
(this does all raise the question of cas’s vessel during this time, and while we could pass that off to some poor random college student who happens to be related to jimmy and i guess has extremely bad luck, i would alternatively like to propose jess as an insane option that i can’t stop thinking about. but anyway!) (also! i’ve already rambled about sam/cas/brady a little here, but i will most definitely be going off about them at stanford sometime in the near future)
in conclusion, thank you for being a steady provider of sastiel brainworms and sorry for the incomprehensible thoughts <3333
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⋆⋆✵ Perfect Imperfections ✵⋆⋆
Chapter 1
Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.
Rating : 21+
Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )
Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .
~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2
No one tells you how easy it is to imagine yourself in love with a beautiful man. Especially when you don’t have a clear understanding of what love actually is.
When I met Jungkook, even knowing he was in love with my sister hadn’t done much to douse the flames of hope and attraction. He was a lot of things that other men in my life weren’t. Kind without being pitying. Concerned without being overbearing. He took care of me without making me feel helpless. And there was always such a thin line between these things that I found myself impressed by his ability to toe the line so well.
Jungkook took care of me without making me feel like a burden and I suppose, some part of me had assumed that this could, in due time turn into love. But I was clearly wrong.
Jungkook and Liza had been kissing in the hallway of their hotel room and someone had taken pictures. My father and his had managed to get them taken down but the news was already out, spreading like wildfire . My phone began ringing sometime around eight in the morning and hadn’t stopped. It was now a little past one in the afternoon and I felt queasy, despite the assurances that it was all being taken care of.
It was the pity in everyone’s face that I couldn’t bear.
I wasn’t hurt. Angry, yes? Upset? Of course. But I wasn’t hurt because there really was nothing to be hurt about. Jungkook didn’t love me. He was in love with my sister . He had made it clear, through his words and his actions, over and over again. At this point, I could see this debacle as nothing more than a possible way to get out of the marriage. Perhaps, my father would approve of a divorce?
I glanced at the article again.
The photo is just so annoyingly clear, I thought with a grimace. If it was a little blurry, I could convince myself it wasn’t him and her. But it was clear. That was my husband with his lips locked with my sister’s. Against my better judgment, I read the article again. It was a gossip column, of course there would be nothing good in there. But sometimes curiosity can be a persistent thing.
I felt my skin crawling as I realized that the phrases were all pretty true. There was no gossip here. Just plain facts.
And then my eyes reached the end of the article.
Of note is the fact that Jeon Jungkook’s wife is disabled and perhaps the virile young man is merely looking for pleasure he can’t find in his own marital bed.
I swallowed, quickly exiting the page and tossing the phone on the bed, away from me. I stared out of the window of our bedroom, the large doors left open to let air and sunlight in. There was a tall sycamore tree right outside out bedroom and the branches almost reached in and I stared at the rustling leaves, trying to scrub my mind clean of the words I’d just read.
But it was impossible.
It wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. The stark difference between me and Jungkook, physically. He spent five days a week in the gym and they were right. He was a young man with healthy sexual appetites.
I’d never cheat on you. Jungkook’s voice from a week ago still echoed somewhere inside my skull.
I sighed, playing with my wedding ring.
I wasn’t a virgin when I married Jungkook. Hadn’t been one , when I got into the accident either. My then boyfriend, a tall strapping lit major had been a very sexual guy as well and our libidos had matched pretty well. But I’d been an athletic nineteen year old, able to bend like a pretzel at his whim and there was just endless time and endless stamina and just a whole lot of attraction . We had spent hours, exploring each other the way college kids do. Weekends in bed spent trying every possible permutation of sex positions and kinks and I’d discovered all the things I liked. All the things I didn’t.
But then the accident had happened and well, when you’re in crippling agony, sometimes sex takes the backseat. I’d been focused on my recovery, on making sure that I came out of this at least with the ability to walk and I’d succeeded. Burying the part of me that craved a man’s touch, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary.
And then Jungkook had happened.
Sex with Jungkook hadn’t been difficult. Not really. I wasn’t completely crippled after all but it was also nowhere near as exciting as it could be with someone who had full use of her legs. I knew that. It was kind of obvious. But I hadn’t dwelt too much on it because to be honest, Jungkook hadn’t looked like he’d minded. He had seemed to enjoy himself .
But then reading about how he probably hadn’t enjoyed it definitely stung.
Worse yet, probably half the country was reading it with me. I felt nauseous. Did no one think that they should have left the last part out of that article? It was terrible enough without adding that bit about me.
A faint buzzing made me turn to the bed.
I glanced at my phone as it rang, my father in law’s name prominent on the screen.
Showtime, I thought with a grimace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I suppose it was too much to hope for , expecting that boy to keep his dignity. This is outrageous.” Mr. Jeon’s loud voice rang through the foyer of the house and I flinched, gripping the edge of the futon as Sana jumped a bit . She sat next to me, holding my hand carefully. Moral support I supposed but I was feeling entirely too blasé about the whole thing. None of this was unexpected, I thought miserably and I wasn’t feeling up to pretending otherwise.
“I still wish they’d talked to me about this.”
My brother in law’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. The man looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back and I felt a pang of genuine sympathy. He looked wrecked and it was obvious she was in love with my sister. Resentment coiled thick and deep inside me. Resentment and envy.
With no effort at all she had charmed both the Jeon brothers, I thought bitterly.
Jeon Jihyun looked absolutely stricken at the thought of losing his wife.
“I’ve asked Lisa to take the first flight out. She called me this morning, hysterical. It was something done in the heat of the moment. She .. She’s very apologetic. I believe her and I’m willing to forgive her. We’re…. We’re thinking of starting a family together. ” He said softly and my stomach turned.
I felt my skin go ice cold as I wrapped my arms around myself. Shivering just a bit, I lightly squeezed Sana’s hand. She looked at me in askance and I had to swallow to get my voice out, throat dry. The words made me want to retch. I could imagine how Jungkook would take this news.
“Can you get me my shawl? It’s in the green room.” I said hoarsely. She bowed before moving away from me and when I looked back up, Jihyun’s gaze caught mine.
“This must be hard on you.” He said softly and I flushed, staring down at my knees.
“Not like I can run from it. Literally or figuratively.” I smiled without mirth.
“Jungkook is …he’s just confused. He needs some time to sort himself out. I’ve asked him to take a break and come back to Seoul after a couple of weeks. The separation would do him some good.” Jihyun said quietly and I sighed before nodding. What else was I supposed to say to that anyway? There wasn’t much I could do, my influence on things almost nonexistent at this point.
“Are you going to give the boy a break, Jeon?” My father demanded, staring at Jungkook’s father who sighed.
“Yes. I’ve been trying to get these damned reporters off our back. They’re all over the place. And yes, I think Jungkook should stay in Japan for a while. We’re starting a new distribution branch there and I wanted him to scout places and possible vendors. I’ll tell him to hash out all the details before coming back.”
His phone rang again and he excused himself . I watched him leave the room, trying to make sense of his words.
How long would it take to build a whole branch in Japan? I had no clue. But it could hardly be done in a few weeks, could it?
“That’s.. That’s a long time.” I said hesitantly and my father frowned.
“is that a problem?” he asked.
I sighed. There was no point keeping this to myself. I was supposed to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. And well, it would be better if they heard it from me first.
“I.. I’m pregnant.” I said quietly.
The silence that followed was deafening. I stared at the carpet, not able to bring myself to look up at them. I could guess, what I’d find there. It was what I always found in people’s faces.
“Oh, sweet child.” My father’s sigh made me look up and there it was. The pity. I felt sick to my stomach. Sana returned, settling the hand knit shawl over my shoulders and I wrapped it tight, before glancing at her in some desperation. She smiled reassuringly, settling next to me and gently taking my fingers in hers. The warmth grounded me for a second and when Jihyun growled, I stared at him.
“I… I didn’t know. Fuck, I’m going to kill Jungkook. This fucker…” Jihyung swore and my father sighed, clearly thinking hard.
“you can’t be staying alone now.” He said softly, sitting up and cracking his knuckles, and I swallowed. I wouldn’t bear it if they tried to take me back home. I had hated it there.
“ You must come back home with me.” He said softly but I quickly shook my head.
“ No.. No I won’t. I … Please.” I begged, the mere idea of going back to my childhood home a nightmare. My mother would kill me with just her sharp and vindictive words. I was in no shape to put up with her verbal and emotional abuse. It was one of the things that had made me agree to marry Jungkook in the first place.
“Well, you can’t stay here by yourself.” My father protested. I’ve been by myself my whole damn life, I wanted to scream.
“I’ll be fine. I have Sana and the others to help me.” I said tiredly. My father shook his head before turning to Jihyun again.
“Is Namjoon still working on his book?” My father asked him and Jihyun frowned. The name elicited a tug in my memory and I turned to stare at my father, confused.
“You remember him? He used to tutor you when you were hi High School.”
I had a brief flashback to dimples and almond shaped eyes. I remembered him vaguely. Very vaguely. But nowhere well enough to want him to live with me, alone or not.
“Dad…” I protested but he held a hand up to silence me, nodding at Jihyun .
“Namjoon? Kim Namjoon? ” He shook his head. “ I’m not sure. Why?”
“I think it would be good if he moves in here. His father was telling me that he was looking for a place to stay, now that he’s moved back to Korea. ” My father said softly, staring at me and I stiffened.
“Father…” I began desperately and my father shook his head.
“Don’t argue. He was a dear friend of yours. I don’t think you should be alone at a time like this. And I think Jungkook would approve. Like Jihyun said, the kid needs some space to sort himself out. Let him finish whatever business is going on in Japan.” My father glanced at Mr. Jeon who looked at me with guilt.
“I owe you an apology , on behalf of my idiot son.”
I looked away, not sure what to say to that. I hated the man quite passionately. Jungkook wasn’t perfect… far from it. But this man had taken a sledgehammer to my husband’s mind and heart at every turn. The disdain, the condescension, the sick way he favored his brother over him, the way nothing Jungkook did was ever good enough. It had all taken a toll on my husband. I had watched it chip away at Jungkook’s self confidence, at his mental health.
“I think more than anything, you owe an apology to your son. You knew he was in love with Lisa and yet…. You forced him to marry me.” I said quietly and the room went eerily quiet. My father rounded on me , eyes blazing.
“Leah!!! Apologize, now!” He roared and I looked away.
“You’re all the same. Ungrateful and entitled.” Mr. Jeon said sharply, before turning to his son. “ I’m leaving Jihyun-ah. Tell me when that wife of yours get home. I want to talk to her.”
He shared a half hug with my father before stalking off and my father grabbed his jacket as well.
“I’ll leave as well. Your mother is being quite hysterical. Apparently, all her friends are hounding her about the article.” He sighed and I nodded , watching him shrug on the jacket before nodding at Jihyun and then following his friend out to the front doors.
Jihyun stayed standing , watching my father’s form disappear through the door before turning to me.
“ Are you alright?” He said quietly, moving to kneel in front of me. Sana stood up, bowing before leaving and I watched her disappear into the hallway leading to the kitchens. Jihyun’s fingers wrapped around mine, brushing my knees and I stared down at him.
“The question is, are you alright?” I brushed the hair off his face. He sighed.
“No. No I’m not. I’m angry and jealous and very much filled with resentment towards my brother.” He said honestly and I laughed, tugging on his hand and patting the seat next to me. He straightened before moving to settle next to me and I leaned on his shoulders, sighing as he wrapped on around me, the warmth of his body comforting .
“Are you going to give your marriage a chance?” I asked carefully.
“She told me she was going to break things off for good. We.. We’ve been talking about it. Starting a family, making this work.” He said quietly. I nodded. It was understandable. Unlike Jungkook and I , Jihyun had a responsibility. He would need a son and even though people liked to act like they didn’t care much about gender, like they didn’t care much about having children , it was sort of an unspoken rule. First son of the house ? You had to have a male heir to carry the family name.
I wondered how that conversation had gone between Jungkook and Lisa. It didn’t really match the photo I’d seen.
“I suppose Jungkook probably put up a fight. He genuinely wants to end up with her. He… He tells me often that he loves her and can’t love anyone else. ” I wondered if I ought to feel embarrassed or insulted.
But the truth was, I was numb to a lot of things that had once hurt quite a lot..
The conversation with Jungkook about my pregnancy had definitely cleared things up for me. There was nothing there worth salvaging. Chasing something that wasn’t real , that was foolishness. Especially when I had a very real baby to think about. A child that counted on me to make the right choices.
“I don’t think he did. She spoke to me last night and said that he agreed. Of course that was before the article came out. I’d like to think she didn’t lie to me but I’m not sure.”
I sighed, settling in closer to his chest. He was warm and firm, solid and reliable. I wondered if it would have been easier, if my father had just married me off to Jihyun instead. Jihyun and I …we were alike. We had been friends , even from childhood. Had watched with fond adoration as our younger siblings had fallen madly, wildly in love. Jungkook and Liza had been drawn to each other from the first. Inevitable.
Jihyun and I were more carefree. We didn’t feel things that intensely and perhaps that was why we could sit here in the calm of the afternoon air, quiet and introspective when we ought to be furious and raging.
“ Should we run off together? You and i?” He said suddenly making me laugh.
“Very much incapable of running.” I reminded him with a grin and he squeezed my shoulder .
“I’d carry you.” He said simply.
“Where would we go?” I asked curiously, indulging the fantasy for just a few minutes.
“Somewhere far away. Maybe India? There’s so many people there and we could get lost in the crowds.”
“That does sound appealing.” I smiled and turned to look up at him. His face inches from mine, not as handsome as Jungkook but strong featured and kind. “ But I’m not alone anymore. I have a child.”
His gaze dipped to my lap.
“Yes. Jungkook’s child.” He said thoughtfully.
“No. Mine. Nobody else’s . Just mine.” I said quietly. Jihyun’s gaze softened. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, echoing his father’s words.” On behalf of my idiot brother, I’m sorry.”
And where Mr. Jeon’s words hadn’t made any sort of impact, Jihyun’s made my heart clench and ache in the worst way. Self pity was something I loathed but sometimes, being handed the short end of the stick at every turn in life makes it impossible to not feel sorry for yourself.
Tears stung, welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lashes like water bubbling out of an aquifer.
I blinked slowly, not bothering to wipe them as they traced a path down my face, dripping into the fabric of my shawl. In a moment of clarity I wondered what Jungkook must be going through now. Nothing good for sure.
It definitely said something, that I still worried for him. Sighing, I let Jihyun hug me closer. I would take advantage of his kindness for a few more minutes. It had been a while since someone had held me like I mattered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I called Jungkook that evening.
It wasn’t an easy choice but my heart ached and my mind raced with unanswered questions. I didn’t want to get lost in my own thoughts so I didn’t overthink it. We were still married. I was allowed to call him.
He picked up on the third ring.
“Where are you?” I asked quietly and Jungkook’s groan made my face heat up a little.
“I… Leah?” He sounded groggy. I glanced at the time. It wasn’t late.
“Are you sleeping?”
He didn’t reply for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry about what happened. We.. We didn’t do anything else. It was just.. it was a kiss. Just that.”
“Are you still in the hotel?” I asked quietly ignoring his words.
“ For tonight, yes. Dad wants me to stay with a friend of his. I’ll be going over to their place tomorrow morning.” He replied .
Silence followed for a few seconds.
“Namjoon is moving in tomorrow.” I said stiffly.
Jungkook didn’t respond for a minute or so.
“Yes. Father said it’s a good idea. And I agree. You shouldn’t be alone while I’m here. He’s right. Hyung’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.” Jungkook said softly.
“Liza came home. She wanted to talk to me.” I said quietly.
Jungkook didn’t reply and I sighed.
“I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her before I talked to you. I don’t… I don’t want to say anything to her that I haven’t already said before. But I still want to know your thoughts on all this. Your plans, that is. I take it you weren’t happy with her ending things.” I said stiltedly.
Jungkook didn’t reply for a few seconds.
“Things between us ended a long time ago, Leah. It was over when we both agreed to marry other people. Maybe even before that, I don’t know… I … I guess I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” He said quietly. “ She’s different, now. Even that kiss felt so wrong. She’s moving on. I’m glad in a way. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone like hyung. He’s better than me in everyway and-”
God I wanted to strangle him.
“So why did you kiss her?” I snapped. “ If you’re so generously letting her go why would you…” I stopped.
“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me. It was barely for a second.” He muttered. “ whoever it was must’ve been videoing us for a while.”
I had to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this little detail made no difference.
“Right.” I sighed. “ So, you won’t be home for a while?”
“Six weeks at least.” He said quietly.
I tried to keep the disappointment down. I still wanted to see him, just to make sure he was okay. But I knew that was just the pregnancy hormones talking.
“Okay.” I said simply.
“How are you? Did you go see the doctor?” He asked softly and the question surprised me. I was half sure he had forgotten.
“No, not yet. Maybe in a couple of days.” I scratched at a small stain on my skirt. Lime juice and baking soda, I thought absently. That should get the stain out.
“Its pretty late. You should go see the doctor, Leah. I.. I looked stuff up. They say you have to be on pre natal vitamins, folic acid and iron supplements and you have to have a balanced diet. I called Sana earlier and told her to speak to our doctor and get a diet chart for you. She said she’ll do it soon. So , please take care of yourself.”
Jungkook sounded entirely serious and as always my brain felt muddled, unable to process why he did the things he did. He had looked things up about the pregnancy and that implied some sort of interest, didn’t it? But ….. he had also kissed my sister so what was I supposed to do with this?
“I’ll call you.” I said shakily, drained. I was done for the day.
“Right.” He said softly. “ Namjoon hyung will be there tomorrow right? Should I talk to him? He could take you to the doctor.”
“No.. That’s fine. I’ll manage.” I said quickly.
“You’re sure?” There was genuine worry there.
“Yes.” I sighed.
“Alright.”
Silence again. I exhaled shakily.
“Should I hang up?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah. Good night. ” He breathed.
“Good night, Jungkook.”
Click.
I stared at the wall, gently lowering the phone and placing it on the bed next to me.
She deserves better than me, his voice echoed in my head.
Well, so did I.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Namjoon looked nothing like the twenty one year old college student I’d seen a decade ago. I knew he was a successful novelist and I’d read all his books. They were mostly philosophical or commentaries on life and emotions. I enjoyed the way he wrote : melancholic and deep but also clear and easy to understand. It was like staring at a particularly deep pool, being able to see all the way down to the bottom because of how clean the waters were. But once you put your feet in, the depth always surprised you.
“That’s a lot of books.” I laughed, gripping the edge of the door frame as I watched him stumble under the weight of a crate full of bound books. Namjoon’s messy brown hair peeked over the top, and when he adjusted the huge load to stare at me, I caught sight of his handsome face stretched in a dimpled grin, eyes glinting.
“Research.” He grunted, straightening himself up and I watched the flex of his muscles as he carefully moved to place the crate down in one corner of the large bedroom that I’d had cleaned for him. It was on the west wing of the house, parallel to my own bedroom that I shared with Jungkook . Namjoon had spent three years working as a professor somewhere in Indonesia. And I knew that he’d spent a year backpacking all over Scandinavia. I stared at his tall strapping figure, watching him set up his writing space carefully, sorting out boxes and electronics.
He had driven here in his Range Rover and I knew all his clothes were still there in the back of the car.
“Should I ask the footmen to get your clothes?” I asked and he glanced up at me, frowning.
“Footmen?” He looked confused and I rolled my eyes.
“Namjoon…” I said chidingly and he grinned again.
“I keep forgetting you’re filthy rich. Makes me wish I should have beaten Jungkook to the game and bagged myself a rich wife.” He winked. It was a joke but there was no mistaking the hint of interest in his eye. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Being married to Jungkook had definitely made me question the attraction I held for men so it felt good, having someone as handsome and whole and successful as Namjoon look at me like that.
“I’ll ask them to get your clothes. You should shower and settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight.” I said quickly and he nodded.
“You’re going to be okay heading back to your room? Let me know if you need help.” He pointed at my feet and I nodded. It was sweet of him to offer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dinner was surprisingly not awkward at all. Namjoon had a lot of interesting stories to share and I found myself clinging to ever word in rapt attention. He spoke about all the folklore he’d run into in different places, how he thought that no matter the culture, there were always some common things you could find in every one of them. He also talked a little about his next book, which he hadn’t named yet.
“It’s about second chances. Forgiving and moving on.” He said, taking another bite of his braised pork and moving to make another lettuce wrap.
“ Heavy stuff.” I said thoughtfully. “ Most of my writing is commercial. I just try to sell stuff to reluctant people. It’s not much but it keeps me occupied and it’s always nice to make money that you can call your own.”
“It’s because you don’t write for yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can truly be who you are.” He said firmly and I nodded in agreement.
My writing in college had been vivid and bright and filled with life. But after the accident, it had turned grey and gloomy. The words seemed to drip with loss and longing and I didn’t enjoy it, because it was a reminder that I was no longer the vibrant, attractive fulsome girl I once was.
“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.” I smiled. “ Being who I am. I would rather pretend I’m at least a little alright.”
Namjoon stared at me, thoughtful.
“You used to run track.” He said softly and I grinned.
“You remember.” I said, pleased.
“Of course I do and you were captain of the volleyball team as well. You used to organize all those hikes and treks and stuff.”
“Yes I did. I loved the outdoors.” I stared out of the window.
“Loved? Past tense?” He tilted his head. I stared at him, shaking my head.
“What kind of question is that.” I shook my head. “ Look at me. I’m not trekking anytime soon, considering how the last time ended.”
“You can still go out.” He frowned. “ When was the last time you went somewhere?”
I shook my head.
“Oppa…”
“Listen. You know me. You’ve known me for more than a decade. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you rattle around this old house like a ghost when you should be out there taking in all the sunshine you can get?” Namjoon placed his chopsticks down and linked his fingers together, staring at me.
I stared at him, and it was definitely there. The concern, the affection. Not that different from when I was sixteen and struggling to understand what pathos meant.
But now there was a definite undercurrent of attraction. Back then it had been childish, the wild crush of a teenager on her hot tutor but now, now I knew that he was so much more than just a hot guy.
“I’m pregnant.” I said softly, more a reminder to myself than anything else.
Namjoon grinned.
“We’ll steer clear of horse riding and alcohol. Anything else you can just let me know.”
“Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
“I think I’m getting one now.” I deadpanned.
“Because you’re nervous.” He grinned.
“Because your dimples look too adorable.” I retorted.
He laughed.
“I’ll talk to Jihyun and we’ll go see your doctor first. Then we’ll go out and have a nice picnic.”
“Namjoon, I can’t…”
“You don’t know that.” He said firmly.” You don’t know if you can or can’t because you’ve never tried. Listen I love picnics and I love going out and I want company. I’m agreeing to be stuck with you for a while and the least you can do is give me company at a picnic. You know how big a loser I’d seem like if I went by myself?”
It was like I was sixteen again getting brow beaten into things by a tutor who just hated the idea of not getting his way. I shook my head fondly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fourteen weeks. Three and a half months.
I stared at the ultrasound, feeling a multitude of things, not all of them good. The baby was growing well and I had all my prescriptions filled. Namjoon had offered to come with me but I had refused. It was too intimate and he was still a stranger. I did take a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to Jungkook.
/Jungkook called me back almost at once.
“You went to the doctor?” He asked, sounding a little breathless.
“Were you running?” I asked, surprised.
“Not really. I’m supposed to be meeting one of the vendors for lunch and I thought I could walk to the restaurant but its farther than I thought.” He huffed.
“Everything’s fine. Baby’s due in July.” I said quietly.
“Summer. That’s good.” He replied. “Right?”
I hesitated. What did that mean? What did it matter when the baby would be born?
“Because winter would mean it being too cold . Summer we can take the baby out and stuff without worrying too much.” Jungkook said softly.
Oh.
“How’s work?” I asked awkwardly. The non conversation was getting tedious. There was just so much to talk about and it was obvious that both of us weren’t in the mood to actually ask or answer anything worthwhile.
“Did dad say something?” Jungkook asked quickly and I frowned.
“No. Why?”
“He wants me to join hyung in the corporate office. Leave the smelter units.” Jungkook sounded subdued and upset and I felt sympathy well inside me.
“Join him? As what?” I asked quietly.
“Head of the marketing department. I’ll be reporting to Seokjin hyung.” Jungkook had clearly started walking again, breath coming in little exhales.
“You don’t want it?” I asked confused, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.
“I mean… I have a degree in Business and Finance. Hyung’s the CEO , I was hoping I’d be the CFO.” Jungkook sighed, “ But I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t disown me altogether after what happened earlier.”
I stayed quiet and so did he.
“We need to talk . When you get back. You … I know you don’t like sharing about what you feel but you owe me an explanation.” I said firmly.
“I know. But I meant what I said when I left. I’m going to be there for you and the baby. You’re still my wife. That’s not going to change.”
I ran my fingers over the ultrasound.
“Did you also mean the part where you said you can’t stand me.” I said bitterly .
Jungkook didn’t reply.
“I… You know I didn’t. That was just something I said on impulse. I’m sorry. You’re… You’ve been nothing but good to me. And honestly, just the fact that you’re carrying my child is proof that I can definitely stand you.” He sounded just a little hoarse.
I bit my lips, staring up at the door when I heard a knock.
“Leah? I’m going to have some tea in the garden … You wanna come with?” Namjoon’s voice rang through the room and I froze.
“Oh.. Oh.. yes. I’ll be down.” I said quickly, nodding . Namjoon pointed at the phone and gave to thumbs up before moving back out.
“Was that Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook’s voice came over the line.
“Oh… yeah. Yeah, he’s… he wants me to have tea with him in the gardens.” I said awkwardly.
“That’s nice. You should go. Get out of the house once in a while.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I stayed quiet.
After another minute or so of silence, Jungkook cleared his throat.
“ I got that form you sent in for me to fill, about my medical history. I’ll fill it up and mail it to the doctor’s office. Is that alright?” He asked hesitantly. “ If not I can fly back home. If they need me in person or something.”
I frowned a bit.
“They don’t need you in person, Jungkook of course not. Mail it, that’s fine.”
Another pause.
“This is really happening huh? A baby. We’re having a baby.” The exhaustion in his voice was palpable and I wondered.
“Yes. We are.” I said simply, not having anything else to elaborate on. It was happening. I was torn between pleasure at having something to look forward to and guilt at forcing Jungkook into a role he wasn’t ready for. But , for better or for worse we were married. The child was his. It would be a Jeon.
“ I’ll do better.” He said quietly. “ With the little one. I’ll be better.”
Tears these days, sprung up out of nowhere I thought miserably, furiously swiping at my face.
“Leah?” His voice came over the line. “ Leah are you there?”
“I need to go.”
“Alright.”
“Take care of yourself too, Jungkook.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loneliness .
It’s such an odd sort of feeling. Sometimes you get used to it so much, that you forget all about it.
It stays , a part of you that doesn’t make much of an impression on you until one day, suddenly it becomes unbearable,
Until you get a glimpse of what it’s like to not be lonely.
And then suddenly it’s like a deep chasm of longing and desperation just opens up inside you, craving love and warmth and company with a hunger that feels like it can never ever be satisfied.
I’d never paid much mind to the fact that my life revolved around myself, my writing and the flowers in the garden. Not until Namjoon had come, demanding to be felt and seen and heard .
Namjoon hadn’t joked about not letting me rattle around the house. Our days were spent sprawled on the lawns of the Jeon estate, each of us occupied with our own writing . Namjoon typed away on his laptop while I preferred my leather bound notebook. It was oddly soothing, lying there on the clean cut grass, the sharp blades rubbing against my bare legs, as I leaned back against a tree trunk, watching Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he wrote.
Namjoon had changed in a lot of ways and yet he was still somehow just as I remembered, focused and often lost in his own head. He was a contemplative man and seemed to spend as much time reading as he did writing.
“There’s a poetry club that meets every Tuesday in Gangnam. Would you like to come with me?” He asked casually, about a week after he’d moved in and I considered it. The paparazzi had finally stopped hanging about the estate and Jungkook had called the previous night with a ETA for when he would be back.
Four weeks at most, he had said firmly and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling all that excited for his return anymore. Days spent with Namjoon were more exciting. He included me in every little thing and I was addicted.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was probably wrong. Namjoon was sweet and kind but I was still married. But on the wake of that thought came the bitter reminder that there was nothing between Jungkook and I. He was in love with someone else. Why should I deny myself the joy of Namjoon’s company over a relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.
Namjoon treated me as an equal, teased and flirted like there was nothing wrong with the two of us living like this, together and away from the rest of the world and I liked it. It made me feel like perhaps happiness wasn’t such an abstract, unreachable thing after all. That perhaps I could find happiness like this. In friendship and mindless conversation with a man who didn’t see me as a burden.
“I’d love that.” I said with a smile, letting my fingers knit together with his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Scorned wife getting even? We spotted the recently cheated on Mrs Jeon getting cozy with a strapping, buff hottie in a private restaurant last Friday and we can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reclusive lady is trying to get back at her husband by flashing her own boytoy.” Namjoon read cheerfully from his phone, looking way too entertained as he showed me the zoomed photo of us holding hands over the dinner table .
“That’s quite the description they’ve put for you.” I grimaced, sipping my chamomile tea slowly. My father and Mr. Jeon had reacted with their usual anger, threatening to sue the gossip rag for libel but it was pointless. They would keep being intrusive rats. There was nothing much to be done beyond enduring them.
“My agent’s losing his mind. He’s been at me trying to get me to agree to book signings and public appearances and he’s pissed that this is the way I get introduced to Seoul’s High society. Poor guy.” Namjoon chuckled and I felt guilt churn.
“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I really didn’t think they’d be following me. I mean… usually they’re only tailing Jungkook but I guess with the whole thing with Lisa , they’re just looking for ways to make things worse.” I said hesitantly.
Namjoon hesitated, staring at me for a few seconds.
“We never really talked about how things are.” He said quietly. “ Between you and Jungkook, that is.”
I ran the edge of my chopsticks on the brim of my soup bowl.
“ There’s not much to say. He’s…. He’s still sorting things out. With my sister.” I smiled a little. It ached a lot less, I realized with surprise.
“They loved each other deeply.” Namjoon said softly. “ that sort of thing doesn’t go away that quickly.”
I nodded.
“Of course. And I’ve been …understanding of that. I like to think.”
“But its unfair to you. You deserve to be loved too. Fully and well .”
I leaned back to stare at him.
“Are you offering?” I laughed, teasing.
Namjoon didn’t smile, leaning forward instead.
“Depends. Will you ever consider leaving him, for me?” He said seriously.
My heart turned over inside me.
“Namjoon…” I choked out and he reached out and lightly touched my palm.
“I know how marriages work with people like you, so I think I should draw boundaries now, if I want to keep myself safe.” He smiled a bit.
“I’m pregnant. With his child.” I swallowed and Namjoon’s brows went up.
“I thought it was your child. Yours and no one else’s.”
I felt torn, staring at him and wanting to say that I didn’t consider Jungkook as the child’s father, not in the way most people did. But I also remembered my husbands determined voice, the way he kept insisting that he wouldn’t neglect the child.
“Its not about Jungkook or the child, Leah. Its about you. You married Jungkook knowing he was in love with your sister and that tells me that you listen to your parents. You don’t want to stand up against the rules set by our parents and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t let myself fall for you, knowing you’re going to be bound by your obligations to yurr family.”
I shook my head.
“Don’t fall in love with me.” I said easily. “ You’re right. My family comes first. And whether I want to be or not, I’m bound to Jungkook for life. So don’t fall in love with me.”
He smiled and nodded.
“Alright then.”
“Do you want to move out?” I asked bitterly and he looked genuinely surprised.
“What?”
“You clearly think I’m trying to seduce you or something when really, I-“
“Hey. Hey, Leah…no. No alright, that’s not what I meant. These two weeks, it was amazing. I love your mind and you’re easily one of my favorite people on this planet. We’re friends. And we’ll stay friends no matter what but you must know why I said what I said. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m a lonely guy.” He smiled a bit, “ I just don’t want to make it hard for myself when you want me to leave.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungkook arrived back in Korea on a cold, rainy morning and against my better judgment I let Jihyun and Lisa drag me to the airport. It was some kind of publicity stunt, that much I could fathom but I didn’t know if Jungkook was in on it. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, he had been busy wrapping things up with the new branch in Japan.
It was another bad day for my leg and I found myself leaning heavily on my sister, her arm wrapped around my waist as we walked over to the waiting area. I could already identify a few men with cameras staring at us discreetly. Paparazzi . I saw them move their cameras down to the now obvious curve of my stomach and I swallowed. I could already imagine the articles wondering who the father was : Jungkook or Namjoon.
“You alright?” My sister asked worriedly and I nodded, not looking at her. Lisa hadn’t been discouraged by initial refusal to speak to her, keeping at it till I finally caved and let her visit me at the estate. She didn’t love Jungkook anymore, she insisted . It was over. They were over . She wanted to give her marriage a chance. Very sweet and nice, that. And it was obvious that she wasn’t lying, what with the way she and her husband kept
Jihyun and Lisa had made amends with each other and it annoyed me that they seemed to be madly in love with each other all of a sudden. Like the past couple months hadn’t even happened. I stared down at my wedding ring feeling stricken. Was it unfair that I resented them for this? Why hadn’t the two of them thought of this, of breaking things off and moving on before the damn wedding. And then maybe Jungkook and I would have had a real marriage too.
Bitter and hormonal was definitely not a good combination I thought with a wince, fingers splaying on the curve of my lower belly. It was so odd, being pregnant. The extra weight somehow foreign but also …so soothing. The last scan had shown that I had an anterior placenta and that meant that I may not feel movements for a while. I didn’t mind, having found comfort in just tracing my palm over the bare skin of my stomach.
“There he is.” Jihyun’s voice made me look up and ure enough there he was.
It wasn’t the longest we’d been away from each other and yet, I felt my heart leap at the sight of him. He truly was a very handsome man, I thought miserably. And no matter what people said, it was infinitely more difficult to hate your husband when he looked that good.
Jungkook’s eyes caught mine first and I saw the way his gaze dipped straight to the curve of my bump. Even from the ten feet between us , I saw hi lips part in surprise , eyes going wide. It probably hadn’t felt real to him till now, I thought biting my lips as he carefully handed his bags over to the two chauffeurs who had rushed to help him.
Jihyun wasted no time in bounding over and hugging his little brother tight.
I glanced at the man who had been taking photos, pleased to see the surprise in his face. Was he hoping that the CEO would punch his little brother in the face ? Idiots. Lisa stayed by my side and I exhaled shakily.
“ Dad told me something and I want to know if its true.” I said quietly.
She didn’t reply.
I took a deep breath, still watching the two brothers embrace each other, Jungkook’s face buried in Jihyun’s shoulders. I could see him shaking just a little and I felt my gut clench.
“He told me that …that you never told him that you wanted to marry Jungkook. That when he suggested Jihyun you agreed at once.”
She looked away.
“Lets talk about this later.” She said quietly.
“Does Jungkook know?” I demanded. “ Because he spent that first month of our marriage cursing our father out for forcing you to marry Jihyun. Forcing. And dad says that he did no such thing. So what is the truth.”
Lisa didn’t respond.
“Jungkook knows.” She said finally, “ I told him… the truth. When we were in Japan.” and I laughed in disbelief.
“Was that before or after you kissed him?” I snapped and she looked genuinely pained.
“Leah, I never meant to hurt you or Jungkook.” She said shakily.
“My God.” I shook my head. “ I always knew you were a selfish, greedy person but I didn’t take you for being a liar and a deceitful coward. ”
She stared down at her feet.
“Yes. I’m greedy..” She whispered “ And you may not understand it now but I did it for you and for Jungkook.”
She moved away and I watched as Jihyun pulled away from Jungkook, still holding his arm as he held a hand out to Lisa. The smile on her face seemed genuine as she took her husband’s hand and I shifted my gaze to mine. Jihyun and Lisa walked away to their car and Jungkook stepped closer to me, his face stoic and impossible to read.
“Leah.” He said quietly, dark hair falling into even darker eyes.
I didn’t reply, merely stepping up to gently press my palms on either side of his face.
“Welcome back.” I said softly, before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips. Jungkook’s entire body went stiff as a board at the gesture but he didn’t pull away , thankfully. It felt cold and impersonal and barely lasted a few seconds but hopefully the man had gotten a few good shots. I closed my eyes for effect, running my thumb over the clean shaven curve of his jaw, before pulling away slowly.
I peered over Jungkook’s shoulder, just to make sure and sure enough, the man was moving closer to get better angles. I smiled a little. Good. That should hold these vultures off for a while. I turned back to Jungkook and his eyes followed my gaze catching sight of the man with the camera and his entire body seemed to go stiff with anger.
“Why did you do that?” He growled and I bit my lips.
“You know why.” I made to turn away but he gripped my arm, hard. So hard that I winced.
“What are you doing?” I asked panicking, glancing at the man who was still watching.
“Since when did you start pandering to those pigs?” He whispered angrily and I flinched.
“Your father wants to introduce you to the Board of directors this weekend.” I whispered quietly, “Most of them read the news Jungkook. The last news about us can’t be about you cheating on me.”
“That’s my business. And I’ll deal with it. We’re not doing this, Leah. I’m not putting on some kind of act just to please my fucking father.” He looked furious and the taut line of his jaw made me flinch.
“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, guilt churning inside me. He was right. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to him about it but I knew that the scandal with him and Lisa wouldn’t go down well with the Board. And the Board generally had a direct say on who got hired to top managerial positions.
“I just want you to get that job.” I said softly and he stared at me, stiff body relaxing marginally.
“Let’s just go home. Yeah?” Jungkook said tiredly and I bit my lips.
Less than fifteen minutes since he came home and we were already at odds with each other.
The most ill suited couple in the universe, I thought with a grimace as he stepped right next to me and wrapped a hand around my waist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had a very terrible tendency to forget taking my pills. So I generally left them by the bedside table. Stepping out of the shower, I found Jungkook sitting on my side of the bed, examining the bottle carefully. I tugged on the white t shirt I had on, suddenly embarrassed because it was Jungkook’s
I’d asked to borrow a couple over the phone, simply because I no longer fit into my own and the ones I’d ordered weren’t here yet. Jungkook had agreed but still, it felt awkward when he was wearing the exact same t shirt himself.
He turned around when I moved to the vanity to put on moisturizer for the night and through the reflection I saw his gaze linger on my attire.
“Aspirin? Didn’t know that was part of pre natal vitamins?” He said seriously and I blinked., surprised. I turned around to stare at him, licking my lips nervously.
“How much research did you do?” I asked, genuinely curious and he flushed.
“I had a lot of free time. “ He said defensively. “ These six weeks.”
I frowned, before turning back to grab the small pot of night cream from the draw.
“My blood pressure is a little elevated. My mother had pre eclampsia with my sister and they just want to be careful.”
“Pre eclampsia?” Jungkook’s voice was fraught with nervousness and I turned back to see him almost white as a sheet.
“Jungkook…I.. its nothing serious.” I said hastily and his jaw went even more taut.
“What do you mean its not serious? Do you even know what it is?” He demanded.
“Do you?” I snapped back, annoyed at being treated like I was an errant child.
“I know that it’s the leading cause of maternal death during birth.” He all but shouted and I flinched.
“Okay…that’s only in extreme cases.” I held both my hands up. “ it’s a bit too premature to be panicking over that.”
Jungkook opened his mouth, as though to argue but then seemed to calm himself down.
“When’s your next check up?” He asked casually.
“This weekend. But its okay, Namjoon is-“
“I’ll come with you. I.. I want to come with you.” He said quietly.
I stared at him, feeling too awkward to outright refuse.
“You have the meeting with the Board. This weekend.” I said softly.
“So?” Jungkook shrugged. “ I’ll just tell them your appointment and health is more important to me. Besides isn’t that what you wanted? The reason you kissed me at the airport? You want the board to think we’re happily in love. I think that would be an excellent way to show them that. ”
Jungkook stared at me , head tilted curiously, daring me to deny what I had old him myself.
Sighing, I nodded.
“Alright.” I managed a weak smile. “ You can come with me.”
“Namjoon hyung left today, you said?” He asked casually.
I nodded.
“I should send him a bottle of his favorite wine for taking care of you so well. You look good.”
“He did it because he wanted to. Because he enjoyed it.” I retorted, his words rubbing me just a little wrong.
Jungkook smiled although it was more of a smirk.
“I’m sure he did. But I’m here now. And I did promise you that I’ll be there for you.”
“For the baby.” I said sharply, not liking the way he looked. The things he seemed to b implying.” You promised me you’d be there for the baby.”
“And right now, said baby is inside you.” He grinned now and I felt my pulse quicken at the sight. Jungkook didn’t smile with me. It wasn’t something that happened. At all. “ So I’ll have to take care of you.”
I stared at him, biting my lips.
“What are you doing?” I demanded. “My sister told you she never wanted you so now you want to start fucking me again?”
It was cruel. A terrible thing to say and I regretted it at once.
The smile faded.
“What?”
“ I…fuck Jungkook.” I groaned.
“is that what you think of me? Need I remind you that you were the one who came to me all those months ago? I never…. I would never force myself on you, Leah.” He looked like he’d been stabbed and I heart clenched.
“Jungkook , I…”
“I’ve been honest. Through all of this I’ve been honest to you. I lied to your sister, I lied to my father and fuck I even lied to myself. But I’ve been honest with you , Leah.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” I cried out, despairing. “ You were in love with my sister and –“
“And she wanted to marry my brother.” Jungkook yelled, standing up and turning to me, eyes blazing. “ All along. Know what she told me Leah? That it was never supposed to be me. That five years of us being together…it was because she was in love with my brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She started dating me to make him jealous and when she saw that I spent so much time with Jihyun she stuck around . So she could spend time with him.” He shook his head.
I stared at him, horrified.
“Jungkook….”
“I thought I could never feel more pathetic than when I stood there listening her tel me how she never felt a single thing for me. But wow…. Thank you for proving me wrong. Because right now, standing here begging you to let me a part of the child we both made knowing you only see me as some kind of pervert just looking to get into your bed….” he shook his head,” I feel worse. I feel dirty.”
My throat went dry.
“You know what?” He moved to the closet and to my horror he grabbed a bunch of his clothes and a small suitcase. “ I’m going to go get a Hotel room.”
“What? No… Jungkook, wait!” I rushed to his side, grabbing his arm but he threw my hand off quickly.
“Ask Namjoon hyung to move back in. Better yet, tell dad the truth. That you think I’m disgusting. That the thought of me being in your life makes you sick. Tell him you want a divorce and-“
“It’s a girl.” I exhaled sharply.
Jungkook went completely still.
I swallowed, my heart racing so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.
I took a deep breath and moved to lightly touch his back, fingers splaying on the broad expanse of his shoulder blade .
He turned around at that and my heart lurched at the tear tracks down his cheeks. He looked wrecked.
“ A girl?” He whispered.
I bit my lips, nodding.
“We’re having a little girl.” He looked a little shell shocked.
“Yes. And hopefully, she isn’t as dramatic as her father.” I said softly, grabbing the dozen or so t shirts he’d pulled out of the closet and pushing them back into the shelves.
Jungkook didn’t protest, still staring into space, probably just taking the news in. I felt awful for one second because I hadn’t even cared all that much when the technician had told me.
I closed the closet door and moved back to the vanity trying to process all that had been said in the last five minutes, only to feel a headache come on. I would think about it tomorrow.
I finished braiding my hair when Jungkook’s voice came from the bed.
“If you don’t want me to intrude into your space you can tell me. I’m okay with only getting information about the baby.” He said quietly.
I stared at myself in the mirror.
I turned to him slowly. i took a deep breath, considered that what i was going to say would likely change everything between us. But i had to.
I’ve always been honest with you Leah, He had said and I decided that perhaps he deserved some honesty in return.
“I think I’m in love with Namjoon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Note : these two are such a mess istg.
ooh i don’t have a taglist for this so please comment if you wanna be on it.
#jungkook smut#jungkook fics#bts smut fics#bts smut#jungkook arranged marriage#bts arranged marriage au#bts fanfic#bts smut fic#bts fics
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