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#rubynationwins
rubynationwins · 2 years
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Wanna Be Yours
Sugar baby! Bucky Barnes x Plus size! Reader
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Summary: You don’t have a problem letting Bucky see other people, but Bucky wants to tell you that you’re all he needs.
Main Masterlist
Warnings: angst, fluff, pining, jealous! bucky, dirty talk/thoughts, swearing, Bucky is in his mid-late 20s
Word Count: 2,816
A/N: I’m very excited to be posting a fic, I feel like it’s been forever since I last posted one! I’ve had this in my wips for quite a while now, but didn’t work on it because I felt guilty for not posting my other fics that are sequels/parts of series first. But those are still far from being done(I’ve kinda also been struggling w/ writing them oof), so I shifted gears and edited this one & feel very pleased w/ how it came out! I love this concept, and I hope you all are into this pairing/dynamic because it’s a little different than my others. Like, comment, reblog, I always appreciate feedback so plz let me know what u think!
This story should not be posted anywhere else without my express permission.
Thanks for reading!
-Ruby
You don’t keep Bucky – or James, as you call him – on a very short leash. You don’t want him to feel tied down when he’s at such a pivotal age for young, virile men like himself. He should be able to explore and enjoy his youth with partners he doesn’t feel obligated to be with. This isn’t your first sugar relationship, so you’re plenty aware that young men don’t want to only be with you; which is something you learned the hard way. It’s better to let them live their lives with predetermined rules instead of getting cheated on by men who don’t have the balls to tell you they need more than you have to offer.
So, with Bucky, you made your expectations clear from the start. He can sleep with whoever he wants as long as he’s safe, uses protection, gets checked regularly, and always puts you first; and in turn, you give him whatever he desires. Lucky for you, he has stuck to your rules and made good on his promise to be by your side when you need him. Honesty, communication, and companionship, that’s all you really need, nothing more. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.
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“James-”
Bucky spins around from the mirror he was checking his hair in and sucks in a breath. You are standing in the doorway of the bathroom with a playful smirk on your painted red lips.
“If you keep messing with your hair it’s going to fall out,” you give him a once over, “You look beautiful, darling.” And he does. He is absolutely stunning in his navy suit, a simple dark grey turtleneck underneath with a gold chain loose around his neck. It’s the one you bought him for your 6-month anniversary last month. Technically, you paid for the entire outfit he’s currently donning, but you personally picked out the chain yourself. It matches the slim bracelet that’s dangling around your wrist.
Bucky blushes lightly under your sharp gaze. He doesn’t know why, but a flutter erupts in his belly every time you compliment him. He never gets so worked up when others flatter him, only you.
“Right back at ya’ doll,” he flashes a wolfish smile, “you sure we have to go to this event? How ‘bout instead I get you out of that dress and we head to the bedroom because I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna keep my hands off you in that thing.”
Not too long ago you would have thought he was all talk, but Bucky has proven just how much he adores your body – curves and all. You can’t help but agree with his statement anyway, you look absolutely banging in your elegant Theia gown. The deep fuchsia color complements your complexion perfectly and the way it hugs your curves is like sin. The side slit stops just at mid-thigh and the off-the-shoulder straps mean your neckline is on full display. The way his eyes flash as they take it all in sends heat straight to your core, but unfortunately, you’re on a time crunch.
“As tempting as your offer is, James, I can’t miss this one. It’s a company celebration, and as the newest member of the board, it’s vital that I be there.” You gently grasp his hand and lean into the warmth of his large, muscled body, placing a modest peck on his cheek, “But since you’re going to be with me, I know the night will fly by. Before you know it, we’ll be back here and you can help me with this damn zipper.” You chuckle, winking playfully before walking away to grab your clutch resting on the table a few feet away.
Bucky’s pupils are like black saucers as he stares longingly at your ass as you bend over to slip on your shoes. As much as he wants to ignore your words and shove you up against the nearest wall and fuck you in that delectable dress, he knows that your work life is important to you, so he restrains himself – for now.
“Alright, doll.” He holds his arm out for you to take and you wrap yours around it, feeling the hard metal underneath the fabric of his suit jacket. “As long as you promise to help me out of my pants as well.”
You gasp and hit his shoulder playfully, “James!”
He shoots you a shit-eating grin and walks to the door with you hanging on his arm, your soft body melding into his.
Tonight is going to be great.
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Tonight has been crap.
Bucky sulks at the bar, toying with a toothpick and sipping at his glass of brandy. Again, he glances over to where you stand surrounded by a group of coworkers, all of whom are men.
Shit.
He downs the remaining contents of his glass and motions to the bartender for another before going back to glaring at your little posse. He isn’t mad at you though, well, not that much. No, he’s pissed off at the slime-balls crowding you. Don’t they have their own dates to ogle at? Why did they have to steal you away as soon as you both stepped into the ballroom with the pretense of “private business matters”?
Turns out, those “private business matters” are getting you drunk and blustering about your many achievements and how lucky they are to have you on the board. Bucky knows his jealousy is misplaced. He, above everyone here, knows how hard you worked to get this position. You are the youngest person, and the only woman, to ever become a board member. He’s damn proud of you, in fact.
Still, he can tell these sleazy old men don’t give a damn about your work, not with the way they all stare at you like some kind of meal for them to devour. Bucky respects your boundaries and your work life, but how is he supposed to sit back when the tall shit-head with graying blonde hair on your right, who has easy access to getting a peep at your cleavage, keeps touching your arm? Can’t you see what they’re up to? Or are you being deliberately obtuse just to ruffle his feathers?
You wouldn’t do that though. Even if you were flirting with these geezers, which Bucky’s sure you’re not, you wouldn’t do it to get a rise out of him because you wouldn’t think it possible. You’ve never said it outright, but Bucky knows you don’t think he minds when you talk to other men. He does though, he fucking minds a lot.
How can he blame you for it, though? You made it abundantly clear at the start of your relationship that it was fine for him to see other women, even if he wasn’t the least bit interested in anyone else, not from the moment he laid eyes on you. When he tried to argue that you didn’t have anything to worry about – that he didn’t want anyone besides you – you shut him down completely, saying there was no room for argument, that he either accept the terms, or you wouldn’t be able to see him again.
Bucky wanted to strangle every selfish, fucker that made you go to such lengths to feel comfortable in a relationship. Of course, he conceded to your stipulations, there was no way around it, he needed to be with you. But, if you didn’t care if he fucked other people, how could he possibly demand that you only have eyes for him?
Still, though, it was taking all his strength to not rush forward and sweep you away from the group of lechers, and maybe kick a few of them in the nuts for good measure.
A new drink is placed before him and he knocks it back immediately. When he turns back around to continue stalking you from afar, his blood runs cold.
The other members of your group are gone and now it’s just you and blondie talking. The bastard says something and you laugh, reaching up and squeezing his arm, swaying on your feet. He places his hands on your plush hips to, supposedly, stabilize you. All the while, pulling you in much closer than necessary.
Bucky is out of his seat and at your side in a split second. He grabs the offending man’s wrists and yanks them off of you, “Watch where you’re touching, pal.” His threat comes out in a low growl and he pulls you to him, his grip tight around your waist.
“James? What are you doing here?” You hiccup, eyes hazy as they blink up at him. Your surprise at his presence sends a pang through Bucky’s heart. Had you so easily forgotten about him?
Even so, no man touches what’s his.
Bucky takes a step back, bringing you with him, and leans down to your ear, gritting his teeth together in a faux smile, “I’m here because I think it’s time we go. You’ve had too much to drink, doll,” he speaks lowly so only you can hear. He knows his words are a bit too harsh and his tone a little too strained, but he can’t shake the defensive anger coursing through his veins.
The blonde man, who for some reason is still standing there with a strangely satisfied smirk on his lips chooses that very moment to speak up, “So you’re James? Nice to meet you,” he reaches out for a handshake, seemingly unfazed by the murderous glint in Bucky’s eyes. Bucky outright ignores his proffered hand, but the finely clad man brushes off the rebuff and casually slides his hand into his pants pocket, “Y/N talks about you all the time. I can see why, you’re a nice-looking kid.”
He wants to punch the callous grin off of the old asshole’s face, but you snort, “Tod, quit it, stop teasing him.” Bucky’s jaw tightens, you didn’t say he’s not a kid. Bucky hates feeling unworthy of you; like he doesn’t belong at your side. He may be young, but he has just as much right as any to call himself yours.
Tod cracks a smile, “Ha, alright, I’ll see you on Monday, Y/N.” He nods his head at you in goodbye and moves to leave. But when he passes Bucky’s shoulder, he leans in and whispers, “Better get her home quick, son. Don’t you have a curfew to worry about?” He chuckles to himself when he catches Bucky’s seething face, not at all intimidated by the rage flaring in the younger man’s blue eyes. With those final parting words, Tod walks off, lucky to not have a bruise the size of Bucky’s left fist on his smarmy face, in Bucky’s opinion.
Bucky breathes heavily, trying not to run after the guy to show him where he can stick his fucking curfew bullshit. Instead, he switches his focus back to you. You’re leaning into him, your usually calculating eyes spacey and a goofy smile plays on your lips. He frowns, you normally don’t drink so much, “What the hell did you get yourself into, doll?” This time his voice is softer, worried, but less biting.
You glance up at him, your eyebrows furrowed, but once you understand what he’s asking, you let out an uncharacteristic giggle, “To celebrate, we did some shots, I don’t remember how many I had,” your words are slow and nonchalant, as if you are actively trying not to slur them together, “Anyway, why are you upset, darling? I thought I told you to find some guys your own age to chat with. I knew you wouldn’t be interested in all our boring old business talk.” As you talk, Bucky hurries you to the exit, only pausing at the coat check to grab your things. He messages your driver to be out front in five.
“Guys my age?” His tone is bitter but you’re oblivious to his simmering indignation.
“Yeah! It’s a party for mostly higher-ups, but a few of them brought their sons, and some brought their daughters too,” you give him a sly wink at that. Bucky just stands there in front of the decorated driveway, trying to temper the many unsavory responses he wants to make at your last remark. His arm is wrapped around your full waist, clutching you to his side. He stays silent as your car finally pulls up, the driver not bothering to hop out since Bucky already has the back door open before he even rolls to a complete stop. Bucky ushers you into the backseat before sliding in after you.
The partition is already rolled up so he turns to you, unable to bite his tongue any longer, “Daughters?”
You scrunch up your face, confused by his questioning, “Yeah, I’ve met some of them. Mr. & Mrs. Willson’s daughter, Sarah, is a real looker. I think you’d like her, she’s just your type, and then there’s Melina’s daughter, Nata-”
“I don’t understand.” Bucky stares at you, trying to mask the hurt in his chest, “Were you trying to get rid of me? I came here tonight to be with you. Why would I want to spend it with some other girl? Why did you spend it with other men? Y/N, I-I don’t know what you want from me, why would you-” His tone has turned accusatory and befuddled. He wants to come clean, to shout that he doesn’t give a shit about other women, but the words are caught in his throat. He’s too much of a coward to speak them aloud.
You shush him, shaking your head, a placating smile on your red lips, “James, I don’t know why you’re getting so riled up, but stop. I just want to enjoy the rest of the car ride home with you, please, I’m tired.” You kick off your heels and relax your head against his shoulder; placing your soft hand in his. He gazes at your lovely face as you play with his metal fingers. The flashing lights that fill the car as it passes underneath brightly lit billboards and dim streetlamps cast fluttering shadows around your ethereal features. His chest fills with a sentiment he doesn’t know how to describe, one he’s maybe too scared to unpack. Your eyes drift shut and your hands still in his, as your soft snores fill the interior of the car. Bucky places a gentle kiss on the top of your head, soaking up your rich perfume.
When the car arrives back home, Bucky carries your sleeping form inside, hugging your plush body to his chest. He lays you down on the bed and goes to work getting you ready for sleep. He knows you wouldn’t want to go to sleep with makeup on, so he grabs a makeup wipe from with bathroom and removes your still pristine look. Bucky loves the power and confidence makeup gives you, but he adores your fresh face, which he doesn’t often get to see.
You tend to keep him at a distance, only letting him see parts of you, not allowing yourself to be “messy” in his presence. Again, there's that foreign panging in his heart. It feels like there is a wall between the two of you, one that you purposefully set up, Bucky’s afraid he’s never going to break it down. Even tonight, when you were fairly drunk, you held a certain air of professionalism about you, so to speak.
You always have to be in control and Bucky wishes that you would just let him be the one to shoulder the burden for once. It’s like you think he’ll abandon you if you ask him to commit more to your relationship. You just don’t know how much he craves you when you tell him he has the “weekend off”, or that he only has to come to events “if he wants to”. You may think you’re letting him have “freedom” and not feel “tied down”, but in reality, you’re denying him the time and companionship that he so desires from you. Bucky wants you to demand more of him, to expect more from him. He sure wants more of you; however he can get it.
What if all you ever want is just a good time and a good lay with a young, pretty face? A few months ago he might have been satisfied with that, but now he wants more. And he is terrified to ask for it.
He finishes cleaning your face and even has the mind to put moisturizer on you since you live and breathe the stuff. He unzips your gown and pulls it off your body. After taking a moment to appreciate the majesty of your body, he goes and hangs the dress back in the closet before coming back out with one of your pajama sets.
He removes your strapless bra and slides the soft, silk pajama top over your chest. You have shapewear on so he shimmies you out of it, which is a little challenging he’ll admit. He has no clue why you wear the restricting stuff. You say it’s to have a smooth base for your tighter garments to rest on, but he suspects there might be more to it. Either way, it’s your body and he gets to appreciate it with and without the shapewear on, so he’s plenty satisfied.
After he gets your pajama bottoms on, he quickly changes into a pair of boxers, not bothering with a shirt. He shuffles into bed beside you, pulling the covers over you both. He hugs you to his chest, trying to get the feeling of dread to leave his subconscious. You’re here in his arms, and that is enough. It has to be.
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nickfowlerrr · 2 years
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🦋 “When will you be mine” w/ Steve Kemp🥰
when will you be mine
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continuation
pairing: steve kemp x reader (do i need to tag him as dark or is that just already implied seeing as how he’s a serial killer? 💀)
words: 1k
notes: i know i said short little blurb but my fingers wouldn’t stop typing lmao. also i didn’t mean for this to be so “YOU” ish but oh well 🥲 this is my first time writing for steve kemp so i’m still trying to find him in my writing - we’ll get there eventually 🥴 anyway! thank you for sending this in!! 💙
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“You again,” the familiar voice jested, causing you to turn around and eye him.
“Hey, that’s my line,” you retorted with a small smirk. “Back so soon, Mr. Kemp?” you lilted teasingly.
“For the thousandth time, it’s Steve. Please,” he begged, “please, just call me Steve.”
You smiled at his playful dramatics and nodded, conceding.
“Steve,” you corrected yourself, earning a smile from him in return. “Was there a problem with your drink?” you asked, worried.
“No,” he assured you. “I, uh, I actually just came back to ask you something..” he trailed off, sounding almost nervous.
“What’s up,” you prompted him to continue.
“You do catering, don’t you?”
His simple question caught you off guard, you weren’t expecting it with how fidgety he was being all of a sudden.
“Uhm, yeah. Yeah, I do,” you nodded.
“Great,” was all he said in response until you squinted at him, a small smile playing on your lips as you fought the urge to let your nervous laugh escape.
“I’m having a little get together next weekend. Just a few people, really small. But, uh, I’d love to have you cater, if you’re available. I haven’t stopped thinking about your cupcake since you let me taste it last week. The cupcake, you gave me - that cupcake, I mean. It was fantastic, I know I’ve told you before, but you’re a really great baker,” he babbled as he blushed at his poor word choice and obvious fumbling. You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling so big. Even now he was adorable.
Steve was in your shop weekly if not daily getting a coffee and whatever food item you suggested to him any given visit. He was your favorite customer and you couldn’t help yourself from developing a bit of a crush on the guy. He was gorgeous, funny, smart, so sweet, and charming as hell. You had made him a special cupcake for his birthday last week and since then, he’d been..just a little different when he came in. Almost shy, nervous, though he tried to hide it, it always showed through by the end of his visits. You were worried you had screwed things up with the cupcake, made him uncomfortable or something, but now you felt relieved knowing he really did like it.. And with how flustered he was getting, you thought maybe he really did like you, too.
You had no idea, but Steve was smitten with you the first day he walked into your bakery cafe.
He always had a lot on his plate, though. Never wanted to get you tangled up with his work. He didn’t see you like he saw others, he wasn’t interested in getting you to sell you. He wanted you all for himself.
But he didn’t push it. He couldn’t. He needed to wait for the right time. And he would, to make sure there was no chance of anyone or anything fucking things up for him, he’d wait for the perfect time to take you, to finally make you his. Seeing you as often as he did, talking, flirting, just being around you when he could, it was enough for him for the time being. At least it had been. Until last week. He walked into the cafe and when you saw him, the way your eyes lit up, it made his heart sing. You ran to the back and returned with a little green pastry box just as he approached the front of the line. You took over the register and gave him a soft smile.
“Happy birthday,” you offered, placing the box down in front of him. “I made you this. It’s red velvet..and your drink is on the house, too,” you added, batting your lashes at him, though he wasn’t sure you even realized you were doing so. It was adorable and he smiled back with a sincere and grateful ‘thank you’, shoving the cash he had to pay for his usual order into your tip jar when you turned back to get his drink before you walked down the counter with him to talk a bit before he would inevitably have to go to work. All day, he couldn’t stop thinking of you, couldn’t focus on much of anything.
You remembered his birthday and you made him a cupcake. A special cupcake just for him. He knew his feelings weren’t one sided, but your consideration and obvious care really showed him he was right. He decided that day, he couldn’t wait much longer. You belonged with him. He needed to be careful, now, though. He couldn’t get sloppy just because he had feelings for you, he needed to keep his patience. He just needed to get you out of town. His new home was almost finished and he couldn’t wait to get you there. It would be perfect. Just like you.
He didn’t want to be too confident, didn’t want to freak you out or scare you. So he’d play the part. Make sure you felt safe. Because you were, you had nothing to fear with him, he’d make sure of it.
You helped him schedule the catering, chose what pastries would travel best and picked one of your most popular flavors. You told him you’d be there right on time and it was going to be a rather small gathering, no more than ten people, if that, so you were the only one who needed to work it, it’d be easy. The “venue” was a bit of a ways away, but Steve insisted he’d cover your gas money, so you weren’t going to complain or argue. Plus, you really wanted to do this for him, you would have said yes no matter what. With the plans all set, Steve left looking more sure of himself than when he’d first asked about setting something up. You didn’t think anything of it and returned his smile and ‘see you later’.
Steve was thrilled. Everything was set and now he had a week to ensure everything was ready for you at his place. Just a week, he kept reminding himself. Just one more week and she’ll be mine.
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part two
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myfanficlibraries · 1 year
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Bucky Barnes
Alpha!Bucky
1) Alpha!Bucky Drabble by @vanillanaps
2) Heart and Soul by @all1e23       Complete Series
3) Little Red Riding Hood by @holylulusworld       Dark
4) Need You Now by @angrythingstarlight       Smut
5) The Start of Something New by @navybrat817​       Featuring: Hal Carter       Omega!Reader       Ongoing       Smut in later parts
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Angst
1) Question by @bluehourbucky       Cheating
2) Stuff of Fairy Tales by @hannibals-favourite-meal       Complete Series       Plus Size Reader       Pregnancy       Sex Pollen
3) The Ultimatum by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky       Ex-Boyfriend Angst
4) Waiting on the Corner by @holylulusworld       College AU
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Biker!Bucky
1) Kiss Me Like You Mean It by @angrythingstarlight       Fluff       Implied Smut
2) Roar & Giggle by @holylulusworld       Ongoing Series
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Boyfriend!Bucky
1) Can You Not by @buckyalpine       Exhibitionism (later parts)       Reader’s Ex
2) Measurements by @invisibleanonymousmonsters       Fluff       Tall Reader
3) So Perfect by @bloodredwolfsbane       Fluff
4) Something New by @beanthesprout       Smut
5) Take the Trash Out by @splendidreads       Angst       Reader’s Ex
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Dark
1) Make You Feel My Love by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​
2) Wrong Number by @targaryenvampireslayer
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Drunk!Bucky
1) Clingy by @sleepypanda27
2) Drunk Baker!Bucky by @angrythingstarlight      Dirty Jokes      Implied Smut
3) Drunk Bucky Drabble by @pellucid-constellations
4) Drunk Words Are Sober Truths by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky
5) Guess What’s On Your Mind by @tellmealovestory       Angst       Insecure Reader
6) Guys Night by @teamcap4bucky       Featuring: Avengers       Injuries       Mentions of vomit
7) I Think I Wanna Marry You by @likeahorribledream
8) Maybe Later by @lovelybarnes
9) Sober Thoughts by tropicalcap (Deactivated account)
10) You Know What Rhymes With Drunk? Sex by @seventven         Implied Smut
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Fairy Tale AU
1) The Unseen One by @extremelyblackandwhite       Complete Series       Hades!Bucky
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Fluff
1) Anything to Make You Smile by @takenbypeter
2) Best Boyfriend You Never Had by @language-rxgers       Fake Boyfriend       Complete Series
3) Big Fan by @bubblessunshinehoney      Ongoing Series
4) Happy Little Accidents by @espinosaurusrexex​       Veteran!Bucky
5) The Life by @hesthermay
6) Little Black Dress by @thefallenbibliophilequote       Insecure Reader       Plus Size Reader
7) Tall Drink of Water by @invisibleanonymousmonsters​       Tall Reader
8) You Are Beautiful by @holylulusworld       Ongoing Series       Plus Size Reader
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Fuckboy!Bucky
1) Send Nudes by @bucky-barnes-diaries       Implied Smut       Nudity
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Librarian!Bucky
1) Face Sitting by @bucky-barnes-diaries       Smut
2) Once Upon a Time by @navybrat817
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Mafia AU
1) A deal with Bee by @angrythingstarlight       Fluff
2) Blow Sweet and Thick by @angrythingstarlight       Smut
3) Owned by @jobean12-blog​       Smut
4) Passionate Negotiations by @targaryenvampireslayer       Smut
5) Plot Twist by @winterarmyy       Arranged Marriage       Mini-Series       Smut in later parts
6) Power Play by @late-to-the-party-81       Ongoing Series       Smut       Soft!Dark
7) Promise by @straywords       Smut
8) Trespassing by @sebstan2020      Dark Fic    
9) Your Hands On Me by @slyyywriting
10) Your Love Gets Sweeter Every Day by @povlvr       Series
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Omega!Bucky
1) A Touch Too Far by @angrythingstarlight
2) I Am Sorry Alpha by @bucky-boo-bear
3) Where the Shivers Won’t Find You by @heli0s-writes       Alpha!Reader       Smut
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Series
1) Baker!Bucky by @angrythingstarlight       Fluff       Ongoing Series       Smut
2) Keeping Me Up by @writing-for-marvel      Complete Series
3) You Will be the Death of Me by @fluffysucker       Angst       Completed Series       Ex-husband!Bucky       Fluff       Some Smut
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Smut
1) Beard Burn by @biteofcherry        Featuring: Ari Levinson
2) Fitness Pack - Bucky by @holylulusworld       Personal Trainer!Bucky       Plus Size Reader       Smut in Part 2
3) Lumberjack!Bucky Drabble by @angrythingstarlight
4) Midsummer Night’s Dream by @jamesbuckybarnes1917
5) Overtime by @navybrat817       Featuring Jake Jensen
6) Petals by @biteofcherry       Sex Pollen
7) Pluvious by @buckymorelikefuckme
8) Sleepless Nights by @kikixreverie
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Soft Dark/Stalker!Bucky
1) Follow You Home by @navybrat817
2) Permission by @silver-pieces​
3) Sleeping With a Friend by @rubynationwins​      Plus Size Reader      Somnophilia
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Soulmate AU
1) Heartbeat for a Biker by @definitely-a-nerd
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Winter Soldier
1) Kidnapped by @buckgasms       Dark       Smut
2) Sleepwalking by @lanadelreyscokewhor3       Smut       Soft Dark
3) Welcome Home...Soldat? by @winterarmyy       Light smut
4) Winter Soldier is a Match Maker by @universitypenguin       Dark/Soft Dark?       Smut
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nana1000night · 2 years
Text
SS characters writers list p.2
kikixreverie
lay-z
okay-j-hannah
black-moon-bunny
missvelvetsstuff
slutt4lovee
bellasburdens
iamaburnedgiftedartkid
youlightmeup
incorrectanything
lfnr-blog-blog-blog
taeteddybear
sexyprise
rubynationwins
buckybarnesandmarvel
sunshinebuckybarnes
wintersmelodie
xdead-writers-societyx
mellowsaturns
cuddly-dean-baby
doasyoudesireandlive
cadencejames87
tmpestuous
lunarbuck
adrinktostopyourthirst
intrepidacious
cherryredmurdock
povlvr
jadedvibes
bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove
octoberkait
cherryblossom-heart
buckybabesonly
hellsbarnes
imerdwarf
themorningsunshine
ninchen1909
Artist
nalonzooo
luckyraeve
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talesandfluff · 6 years
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rubynationwins replied to your post “what other musicals are centered around Jewish characters? I only know...”
The Band’s Visit!
I mean, true but also that one was in my original post ^^
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What We Did, pt. 26
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Summary:  After finding out you were pregnant, Bucky agrees to help you leave the hero life. The two of you go to Seattle, and hamper down for six months until you start dreaming of a certain someone. Convinced the dreams are a sign, you and Bucky go back to New York. Will everyone be happy to see the pair of you? What questions will they have? And will the lie Bucky and you made up finally resurface?  
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my main bitch @childishhoebinoo again. THIS IS A BIT SHORT, SORRY!
Warnings: //cheating//pregnancy//ADULT STUFF//
masterlist
Chapter Twenty-Six: Cutthroat 
The driveway was empty; you feel cold and guilty and everything in between.  You had seen it in Clint’s eye – your words had gotten to him and you were afraid you had made things even worse. There was nothing left to do but go inside and wait for Bucky to get home. You walked inside and felt an odd urge to pick up the phone and call Natasha. But it seems like forever since the last time you had seen her and told her not to come around – another regretful notch for your bed post.
You walked into the living room and sat down, fidgeting with the remote and pretending everything was okay until your cell rang. The caller ID flashed Tony’s name, grateful for the distraction, you picked it up and greeted the man with a false uplifting tone. Of course, he saw right through that and called you out on it.
“Did you install cameras in my house?”
“No.”  He laughed but it faded as soon as it arrived. You asked what was going on and he cleared his throat. “I got some bad news, kid. Clint’s lawyers called mine.”
“He was literally just here….”
“He showed up announced.” Tony repeated but it wasn’t directed to you – someone else was with him. “I’m going to put Pepper on the call, okay?”
Agreeing, you greeted her when she said hello. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” you answered. “I’m due in less than 10 days, so all this drama is doing wonders for my stress level.”
Pepper sighed. “That’s exactly what we don’t want to happen, so the lawyers and I came up with a solution, but I have to tell you – it’s a difficult one.”
What could be more difficult than being confronted by the wife of your unborn child’s father? Or losing your best friend because of your adultery? Or having a screaming match with Clint in front of the whole neighborhood? Knowing you could not do anything to change any of it and all at once, not wanting to change it.
“I’m a big girl,” you finally said, feeling prepared for whatever the options the lawyers and Pepper had come up with. “I’ll do anything to have some quiet for as long as I can get it.”
“Shit,” Tony groaned. “Rhodey is hounding my cell; I’ll leave you two to it.”
He hung up his end and Pepper exhaled. “He won’t tell you this but this whole situation has gotten to him. He loves you and wants the best, and he will fight on your side but….”
“…. this situation has already divided the team.”
She paused before saying yes but quickly adding that it was not your concern. “That can all be dealt with eventually, right now we want to make sure you’ll have some peace when the baby arrives.”
Willing away tears, you asked what needed to be done and she explained it all; you were going to contest the paternity of the baby. Maybe you slept with someone else around the same time as the affair with Clint, you will tell the court you are not sure and that you would like a paternity test to make sure. Since your due date is around the corner, the lawyers will petition for a DNA a week after the baby is born.
“It will allow the lawyers time to draft up a solid custody agreement and build a case if Clint wants to take things to court.”
“A custody fight?” The words came out of your mouth in a jumbled whisper and Pepper assured you that everything would be fine, especially in your case.
“Courts tend to favor the mother and your situation is ideal.” You asked what she meant by that and she explained that Bucky and you had created a stable home for your child. “Clint is still an Avenger, you two hung up the capes months ago to raise the baby. He will not be granted full custody if he can’t stay home for more than a few weeks at a time.”
It was true; Clint had more reason than the rest of the team to retire and he had not. He kept his family secret for a long time and even after everyone found out, he still was out avenging with the rest of us. You felt like you were betraying him, but you need for security was hungrier than the need to do the right thing. A maternal feeling had rushed over you and you would do anything to make sure your son would be in your arms and home with you. Clint had his family; you were fighting for yours. Speaking of, you resisted mentioning that Bucky and you had eloped. With everything that was going on, you weren’t sure adding that information right now would be best. It wasn’t like you were hiding it but the thought of hurting Pepper and Tony, especially Steve, with the news was too much for you. You knew those three specifically would have wanted to come – even Natasha, but you couldn’t think of that or her right now.  
“I’ll do it,” you breathed out, desperate to make it all go away. “I’ll do it, do I need to go out there to sign papers?”
“Not necessary; I’ll fly out an assistant with all the paperwork tomorrow. They will come by and everything will be done in minutes. The lawyers will submit it to the courts and have it expedited – courtesy of one Tony Stark.”
“It pays to know the guy, doesn’t it?”
Pepper laughed, it was sharp but light and it lifted the tension from the air. “Try being married to him.”
“I’ll pray for you,” you joked.
“Please,” she plead. “Oh, also, you can’t have connected with Clint. We are adding a no contact order, he cannot be showing up at the house like he did today. You are nine months pregnant; it is dangerous to have you so stressed out. The lawyers can use that against him – if he truly is the father, why would he risk putting you into early labor like that? I can have them document that if you want?”
It was terrifying to hear Pepper so direct and cutthroat, but you suppose that was why she was the CEO of Stark Industries and not Tony. You were glad to have her on your team and you were starting to think the two Starks were in first place for god parenthood.
“No, don’t, it’s fine.” It felt like the least you could do, considering Clint was going to be taking another blow to the groin. “Thank you, Pepper, sincerely.”
“Anything for you, kid.”
“Tony tell you to say that?”
She groaned. “He did.”
Sharing a laugh, the two of you said goodbye and hung up. Tossing the cell down onto the sofa cushion, you leaned back and rubbed a hand over your stomach. It was going to be tough to ignore Clint’s calls, which most likely would be coming soon. It was a bit nerve wrecking knowing he was still in the city unbeknownst to what had just occurred but then you glanced down at the ring on your finger and thought of Bucky. With that, it was all gone; the guilt and worry, because in the end, even if everything went up in flames, you’d still have him.
....
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butiaintgonnaloveem · 7 years
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Hi, can I be tagged in any future Try To Understand chapters? It's an awesome series🤗🤗🤗
Hello there, dear. Thank you, I’ve got you added!
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Supernatural Crack Attack Challenge Masterlist
I want to thank everyone who entered my challenge. I truly appreciate it. I’ve got a lot of first timers in writing crack and all of them did an AMAZING job! These fics had me giggling all the way to suddenly bursting out in laughter. If these fics don’t help brighten up your day, I don’t know what will. I hope you all enjoy these hilarious gems! Make sure to let the author know how amazingly talented they are, because well... they really are.
Also, PLAGIARISM is UNACCEPTABLE. These are the author’s original work and ideas, and they had put in a lot of effort to write these stories. REBLOG!! Do not copy, paste, or alter any of these stories without the authors consent!
THANK YOU!!
**SMUT WILL BE IN BOLD**
I Am You, And You Are Me Written by @theworldiscolorful​ (@purpleskiesandcherrypies)
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Summary: You woke up one day to find yourself in Dean’s Body
Warnings: Smut (oral, a bit of dirty talk, a bit of panty kink), Crack (what is smut and crack? Smack?)
Prompt: Switching Bodies
The Hottest Garbage Man Alive Written by @evansrogerskitten
Pairings: Jensen x Reader, Jensen x Jared
Summary: In our reality, Jensen Ackles is perfect and glamorous. What if in a different life, he was something ordinary like a garbage man?
Warnings: Crack fic! Oral sex (male receiving,) implied smut, fantasizing, AU
Prompt: Awkward Moments
Flammable Angel Farts Written by @deans-jiggly-pudding
Characters: Castiel, Dean, Sam, and Jack
Summary: N/A
Warnings: canon-typical language, fart jokes, crack
Prompt: Allergic Reactions
Sam Who? Written by @winchesterprincessbride
Characters: Dean, Sam, and Reader
Summary: After an unsolved case that may or may not have been a witch, the reader wakes up with no memory of her boyfriend, and it gets old for Sam and Dean very quickly.
Warnings: Crack
Prompt: Temporary Memory Loss
Something Isn’t Right by ME!! (This fic is posted on my main masterlist)
Characters: TWF 2.0 and Reader (mostly Jack)
Summary: Jack’s clothes don’t seem to fit right and when he meets up with the others, he’s finally enlightened as to why.
Warnings: Crack!
Prompt: Wardrobe Malfunction
Freaky Friday by @bamby0304
Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean, Rowena
Summary: Sam wakes up in a bed he didn’t fall asleep in… in a body that isn’t his. When he finds his own body asleep in the Bunker library he also finds you occupy the body, confusion ensues. Dean can’t stop laugh, you can’t stop freaking out, and despite everything Sam is- once again- the only person who can keep their head on… well, your head on… his head on? Jeez this is confusing.
Warnings: Explicit language. An attempt at crack. Body swap, obviously. Fluff? The slightest bit of angst? Implied smut.
Prompt: Curse
Hide and Seek by ME!! (This fic is posted on my main masterlist)
Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean Winchester
Summary: Sam and reader are babysitting and things get a little heated when they share the same hiding spot.
Warnings: Crack!, Not really smut… but… slight Smut? PG-16? Dry Humping, Tight Spaces, Things touching things… lol.
Prompt: Accidents
Talk Psychology to Me by @bamby0304​
Characters: Dean x College-Student!Reader
Summary: The morning after meeting and rejecting Dean, you bump into him again. The two of you sit for coffee, and somehow the conversation turns to pick-up lines… which leads to sex.
Warnings: Explicit language, A poor attempt at crack, Bad pick-up lines, Rejection, Psychology talk, Smut, Oral (male receiving), Unprotected sex.
Prompt: Pick Up Lines
Switched by @waywardrose13
Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam Winchester
Summary: Fucking Witches (that’s all you get)
Warnings: Witches/hex, language, some angst, a fight, Dean’s a dick, period talk, Sam’s a bit rude, fluff, crack!fic
Prompt: Switching Bodies
The Grass Is Always Greener by @hannahindie
Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader, Dean
Summary: N/A
Warnings: Alcohol, weed, language, cracky goodness, so much smut. Just…just filth. Like a pinch of plot towards the end, but it’s like…guys, it’s just…you shouldn’t read it if you’re under 18. Hell, you maybe shouldn’t read it if you’re over 18. I mean, for me, anyway. It could be worse. But it’s all over the place, and there’s just a lot of it. So….here you go.
Prompt: Drinking/Drunk
Research by @sculptorofbeginnings
Characters: Team Free Will 2.0, Unknown Female Character
Summary: Sam is enjoying the day doing some quiet research until Jack finds a very interesting book…
Warnings: Smut (only a little though), Daddy!Kink, Embarrassed Sammy, Clueless Jack, General Crack!Hilarity, if I did my job right.
Prompt: Jack Asks Questions
Every Dean Has His Day by @bamby0304​
Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam
Summary: After Dean drinks the potion that makes him act like a dog again, you’re stuck babysitting when it goes wrong. Days stuck with the older Winchester lead to truths being told. But is it just the dog in him talking?
Warnings: My poor attempt at crack (honestly, I tried). Scumbag in a roadhouse. Explicit language. Period talk. Fluff. A bit of angst. Smut (yep… smut). Dirty talk. Fingering. Unprotected sex.
Prompt: Potions
The French Maid by @myinconnelly1
Characters: Dean x Reader, Jack, Sam, Castiel
Summary: N/A
Warnings: Smut, 18+ , NSFW, roleplay, crack.
Prompt: Jack Asks Questions
Fallen For Me by @waywardmoeyy​
Characters: Jack Kline x Reader, TFW
Summary: N/A
Warnings: Self-doubt, Fluff, Crack.
Prompt: Clumsy
Baking With The Devil’s Son by @rubynationwins
Characters: Jack, Reader, Dean, and Sam
Summary: N/A
Warnings: Crack
Prompt: Jack Asks Questions
Animals by @winchesterwolf30
Characters: Dean x Reader
Summary: Dean wakes up one morning to find a very hairy surprise (takes place before the animal mind-spell.)
Warnings: None, except that I am TERRIBLE at writing crack, so, my apologies.
Prompt: Spells
Making a Princess by @samslittlespoon​
Characters: Sam x Reader
Summary: You and Sam are called to an emergency, only to find out it’s not the type of emergency you were expecting...
Warnings: Crack, Language
Prompt: Kids/Old People
See No Evil by @bamby0304​
Characters: Dean x Reader x Sam
Summary: A case goes awry and you end up being hit with a spell that turns you invisible. While the brothers freak you try to cheer them up. A few pranks turn to heated moments that you try to shy away from, determined to keep the brothers from getting their feelings hurt. In the end though, they tell you they see more than you might think.
Warnings: An attempt at crack. Bit of angst. Some embarrassment. Nudity. Fluff. Smut. Fingering. Dirty talk. Unprotected sex. Oral (male receiving). Admittedly… this is gonna be more smutty than funny… I couldn’t help myself.
Prompt: Spells
Jack’s Case by @rideandwritethethings
Characters: TFW 2.0 x Reader (Platonic)
Summary: Jack finds a case for the Winchesters and is unable to understand why they keep laughing at the information he’s giving them.
Warnings: Warnings: crack, a whole bunch of innuendos so like PG13? they’re bad jokes though I am Not Good At Crack
Prompt: Innuendos
What Were You Thinking? by @a-winchester-fairytale
Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam
Summary: While on a case, a witch plays a little trick on Dean, giving him the gift of too much information.
Warnings: crack
Prompt: Curses/Spells/Potions
Not Funny by @thatfanficstuff
Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean
Summary: N/A
Warnings: Crack, Clowns, dude, clowns. Canon typical stuff
Prompt: Disguises, Undercover/Costumes
Once again, thank you to everyone that signed up and followed through. There were a few writer’s, due to personal issues and timing, that reached out and couldn’t make the deadline or extension deadline. Thank you for reaching out and letting me know. There were others who didn’t even bother giving me a simple ASK or message, which I am disappointed in. In the future, please let me know. A small heads up is very much appreciated and considerate to the host. 
Hope you enjoyed the challenge and masterlist!! 
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waywardrose13 · 6 years
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The Hunter Diaries- Chapter Eleven
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Series Masterlist // Rose’s Masterlist
Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester had been your best friends for as long as you could remember. Being Bobby Singer’s adoptive daughter, it was sort of inevitable to know the brothers. You knew you’ve had a crush on the elder brother for a long time, but you always thought nothing would happen between the two of you. You’re not the picture perfect model and you aren’t the image every girl strives to be. But maybe, just maybe, you were wrong, and he’d like you too.
This is a story of love, death and demons. A story about a girl who fell in love and hopes to survive long enough to act on it.
Pairing: Dean x Plus Size!Reader
Warnings: Language, blood, Aamon
A/N- Two? One? More chapter(s) left. I’m still not sure. This chapter is incredibly important and you may or may not find out what the fuck Aamon is.
TAGS ARE OPEN
I HAVE NOT GIVEN PERMISSION FOR MY FICS TO BE REPOSTED TO ANY OTHER ACCOUNT OR PAGE. IF YOU SEE MY WORK ON ANOTHER SITE OR ON HERE UNDER A DIFFERENT NAME, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. REBLOGS ARE OKAY, REPOSTS ARE NOT. THANK YOU.
Aamon was restless. The moon was to rise in a little less than two hours, which means that the ritual had to be prepped and ready to go by then.
It had been nearly a week and a half since he had taken you from your home. A week and a half of hearing your sarcastic and smart-ass remarks. He couldn’t hurt you, for he needed you for the ritual, so he simply ignored you. He brought you food that you left untouched for nearly five days before you got so hungry, you scarfed down anything you could. He locked you in a room, but it was suited to your comforts. A large canopy bed sat against one of the walls, a large bathroom with a jet tub was off to the right and the room was lit during the day by windows making up two of the walls, overlooking a deep valley of lush, green, snow topped trees and tall grasses. Blue mountains sat far in the distance, the sun waking you each morning by peeking over them, spreading its rose tipped fingers across the land and into the valley below. A tall bookshelf inhabited much of the east wall of the room by the locked door, full of various genres and languages, all ranging from different time periods. They were your only form of entertainment in your confinement to the room and you had already read close to a third of them.
A knock sounded on your door and you lept off your bed, standing straight and tall as Aamon walked in, his jet black hair moving like waves down his back and around his shoulders as he walked. “Hello, love.”
“Come to kill me yet?” You asked. He sighed, shaking his head.
“You ask me that everyday, yet the answer is all the same,” He said. “‘Not quite, but you just wait’. But, unfortunately for you, today is the day.” He smiled at you and held out his hand. You eyed it suspiciously, taking a small step forward.
Just as you had planned for the last week and a half, you brought the jagged piece of metal you had broken off your bed and jabbed it into his neck, pushing him down and sprinting from the room. He let out a growl of rage, a crimson fountain spouting from the side of his neck from where he pulled the metal from his flesh.
“You won’t get far, Y/N/!” He yelled. You panted as you sprinted down the twisting hallways, turning into corridor after corridor, desperately searching for a way out. You seemed to be in a castle almost, the walls cobblestone, torches lighting the your way.
A large wood door sat at the end of the hall and you sprinted as fast as you could, pumping your arms and breathing heavily as you ran. You smashed into it, pulling on the handle.
“Come on!” You yanked at the locked door as hard as you could, glancing behind your shoulder. Your impending doom was almost set in stone and your heart raced in your chest at the mere thought of it. You gave yourself up, yes, but the thought of you dying in merely two hours set fear deep within you. You weren’t ready to die, not without seeing Dean one last time.
Your thoughts were cut short when a hand tangled itself in your hair, yanking your head back, your throat exposed to the monster above you.
Aamon’s eyes burned like embers, his lips curling back over his teeth, multiple sets of dagger sharp canines breaking through his gums. Your eyes widened as you watched the new teeth peek through.
He bent down, latching his teeth into your flesh. You screamed at the searing pain, your skin breaking easily, your blood flowing hot into his awaiting mouth. He drank deeply before lapping at his fresh bite, throwing you to the ground. You brought your hand up and pressed it against your neck, backing up down the hall and away from him. He brought his hand up and wiped his mouth, smearing your blood across his lips and staining his ashen skin.
“Holy… Shit…” You croaked. He smiled down at you, his fangs retracting back into his gums.
“I’m anything but holy, love,” He said. He gripped your hair and tugged you up. You groaned and hit at his chest, but he only chuckled. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Y/N, but you left me no choice. You disobeyed, which means you needed to be punished.”
“You’re… A demon-vampire? How the fuck?”
“We need to work on your language. I don’t want you using the last hours of your life letting filthy words spew from that beautiful mouth.” He smirked down at you as he dragged you down the hall, his hand tightly gripping your hair.
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“This may work,” Bobby said. “But I’ve never done it before.”
“Just do it,” Dean snapped, his pacing beginning to annoy Sam. Bobby sighed and set the large spell book on his desk, flitting about the room gathering ingredients.
“You should have called your angel friend,” Bobby grumbled.
“You don’t think I’ve tried?” Dean hissed. “I screamed myself hoarse in the junkyard. The junkless bastard won’t get down here.”
“Excellent.” Bobby replied dryly. He placed his bowl in the center of the desk and layed the ingredients out. His stomach was clenched tightly with anxiety and he had to resist the urge to drink himself to a stupor. You were the apple of his eye, the only reason he hadn’t committed suicide years ago. He loved you with every inch of his being. You may not have been his biologically, but you were his daughter, the only thing keeping him sane. The only thing that brought him happiness and love.
He carefully measured each needed ingredient and poured them in carefully. It had taken him the whole week you had been gone to find a spell that had at least a fifty percent chance of working. Keeping his fingers crossed, he grabbed the map, pouring the potion over the parchment. Taking a match, he lit it, dropping it onto the corner. The map burst into flames, the orange blaze going around the edge of the map.
“Inveniet eam,” Bobby said. The flames roared, raising high and tall. The old hunter cringed from the heat, watching the map burn and flake away, leaving a small circle of wrinkled parchment. He glanced up at the boys before looking down at it.
“She’s in the state, somewhere in the Black Hills.”
“The mountains?” Sam asked.
“Yeah.”
Dean jumped up, automatically grabbing the small piece of map and heading towards the door. “Let’s find her. Let’s find my Y/N.”
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“So I know what you are now,” You said. You sat in a metal chair, your hands cuffed to the arm rests and your ankles bound to the legs. Aamon stood a few yards from you, preparing for the spell. “You mind letting me know where I come in to all this?
Aamon sighed, his blue eyes flicking up to you. “If I must,” He muttered. “As you know now, I’m half vampire, half demon. A ‘Sato daevam’ if you please. We’re an incredibly rare species. I’m the only living one at the moment. But you… You are the key to unlocking my true potential.”
“How?” You asked shaking your head. “How can I possibly be the key.”
“The spell requires harvested angelic grace from an indirect source. One of many ingredients of the spell. You, my dear, have that. Have you ever wondered how you heal slightly faster than other people? How you have this… Spiritual feeling? How you make everyone around you happier? You’ve got angel grace in you, love. And I need it.”
“What will the spell unlock?” You murmured.
“Excellent question, my dear. As of now, I cannot create new Sato daevams. I can’t drink the copious amounts of blood I always crave, for the vampire part of me is still partly human, and I’ll get sick. That being said, the part of the vampire that is still human doesn’t have full power. I’m not as strong, I can be killed. But once I cast the spell… Oh, Y/N, you won’t believe what I’ll be capable of. I’ll be unstoppable. And once I become at full power and the spell is completed, one of the seals will be broken, inevitably taking us one step closer to freeing our rightful king.”
“Lucifer,” You breathed. Your heart clenched, tears welling in your eyes. Not only will you break a seal, you’ll be the key to unleashing an immortal creature into the world. One that will no doubt rein absolute terror on the world. And you’ll be at fault for it.
“So,” Aamon said, holding up a silver tipped knife, the moonlight gleaming through the skylight, shining perfectly on the silvery blade. “What do you say we get started?”
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rubynationwins · 2 years
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The Best Part of Waking Up (18+)
PA! Steve Rogers x Dom!Boss! Reader
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Summary: His boss may not be a morning person, but it’s up to Steve to get you to work on time. Things don’t exactly go the way he expects, though.
My Masterlist
Word Count: 4,153
Warnings: smut, slight dub-con/coercion, light dom/sub, mild use of restraints, power imbalance, oral - m & f receiving, petnames, dirty talk, body-inclusive reader, fem reader
A/N: First time dabbling w/ dom reader so I hope that element presents itself well. Personally, I think mcu Steve (especially in the earlier movies) screams sub😋 so I will probably experiment more with that aspect of his character in future fics too😍 Tho not always bc dom Steve is just...🤌🏻  Like, comment, reblog, I always appreciate feedback so plz let me know what u think!
This story should not be posted anywhere else without my express permission.
Thanks for reading!
-Ruby
“Steve, I need you to wake me up at exactly 5:30 tomorrow morning.”
Those were the words that kept rattling around in Steve’s head as he rode the elevator to the top floor of the lavish apartment building you resided in. When the elevator’s bell dinged and its doors slid open, he swallowed heavily as he stepped into the modern-looking hallway.
This was not going to be enjoyable.
It wasn’t that the early rise bothered Steve, he usually woke up at 6 am to go on a run before work, so an hour or two earlier didn’t kill him. The problem laid in how you acted in the early waking hours. You were notorious for your hatred of mornings. You weren’t a fan of them in general, and waking up before 8 am was pure agony. For him.
Sure, you disliked mornings, but he was the one who had to deal with your cranky attitude and unyielding criticism of every single thing he did when you were tired. A 5:30 morning wake up call was definitely going to put you in a foul mood, and Steve would be the recipient of that sleep-deprived anger. Even worse than that was actually trying to wake you up.
It was a well-known fact that normal alarms were no match for you. He had replaced many broken alarm clocks and phones that you had thrown across the room in your slumbering rage. You claimed that you had no memory of your destructive actions since you were such a deep sleeper, but Steve suspected you just didn’t want to admit that you threw such dramatic fits. You always carried an air of  assertive power with you, and breaking alarm clocks did not fit that professional aura. 
So, because of said fits, when it was vital that you arise earlier than what your circadian rhythm deemed acceptable, someone had to physically wake you up. That didn’t mean you were any less violent, it just meant you couldn’t get rid of them by throwing them at a wall– not for lack of trying.
Steve hadn’t yet had the displeasure of being the one to wake you up, but you had point blank told him to do it, so he couldn’t shirk the responsibility onto one of the lesser assistants.
Which was why he was now unlocking your apartment door with his spare key. He flicked on the entryway light as he walked across the threshold. He knew the layout of your home as well as his own — significantly smaller — apartment. As your personal assistant, he was at your beck and call 24/7, which entailed a lot of house visits. He glanced over at the couch he slept on whenever you worked late into the night without dismissing him for the evening, even though you had a guest bedroom.
He set your steaming cup of coffee on the counter along with your usual breakfast. Hopefully, they would compel you to rise without making a scene. Glancing at his watch, he headed down the hallway and stopped at your closed bedroom door. It was 5:28. You had said exactly 5:30, so he waited with bated breath as he watched the tiny hands of his watch tick. As soon as the long hand hit ‘6’ he opened the door while saying in a voice that lacked conviction, “It’s 5:30, time to wake up, ma’am.”
There was no response. He looked toward the large bed and saw a lump covered in lush blankets. It rose and fell with your every deep breath. He stayed at the door, but increased his volume, “You have a very important meeting, so you need to wake up.” Your slumbering form didn’t move an inch.
Steve cleared his throat loudly but still, nothing. With a frustrated sigh, he walked closer to your bed and repeated himself. He was met with the same, unmoving response. So far, Steve had stayed out of arm's reach, keeping an eye out for any sudden movements. When it was clear that method wasn’t going to work, he gave in and moved to the side of your large bed.
He held his breath as he reached out and grasped what he hoped was your shoulder – it was hard to tell with all the blankets – and began shaking it. His coworkers who’d had the misfortune of waking you up before had said this was the best tactic. After a few seconds, he felt you shift and heard a low groan. He kept shaking, upping his speed just a bit and leaning into it.
Just get it over with, Steve.
Suddenly, the pile of blankets rolled away, and he fell forward into the mattress. He let out a loud “oof!” as he landed face first into the soft but firm cushion. He heard what sounded like the mutterings of a gargoyle as the bundle beside him squirmed. At least he’d done something. Hopefully, now you could hear what he was saying, “It’s a little past 5:30 now so you should really get out of bed and-”
He was cut off by a mountain of blankets tossed on top of him like a tsunami. Startled, he thrashed under the smothering heap of expensive fabrics until he was finally able to throw them onto the floor. When he got his bearings, he turned around and found you sleeping on the opposite side of the mattress. You were curled up on your side, a pillow clutched around your head.
With more caution, he approached you again. That time it was blankets, next it might be something that could actually leave a dent. He glanced at the large bedside lamp that sat next to you and felt sweat start to bead at his forehead.
At this point, he felt ridiculous. He, a grown man, was stealthily crawling across an unreasonably wide bed while his power-house of a boss snoozed on the other side. He had never imagined being the executive assistant for one of the most powerful women in the city would end up like this.
When he reached you, he stretched out a hand and squeezed your upper arm, cringing as he did so. You didn’t throw anything at him, which he took as a good sign. When he spoke, he tried to keep his voice calm and low so he didn’t startle you so much, “Hey, boss. It’s-uh, time to wake up and start the day,” he sounded like a cautious dad trying to wake up his unruly kid from a nap, “I know you don’t care for mornings, but I got something special waiting for you that’ll really help boost your energy. Get that blood pumping.” The only reply he got was the muffled sound of your even breathing. He dropped his hand and looked towards the ceiling in desperation, out of ideas other than to throw you out of bed.
He was gearing up the courage to shake you awake again when he heard the rustling of covers. He whipped his head down and saw you slowly rise so that you were leaning on your elbow. The pillow you had been hiding under was nowhere to be found. Your back still faced him, and he sucked in a breath when you shifted on your elbows to face him.
His words caught in his throat when your eyes finally met his. They weren’t sharp and demanding like he was used to. In fact, your whole face held a softness he had never seen before. You were always serious and commanding. Now, though, your eyes were glazed over with a sleepy haze, eyelids only half open. Your fluttering eyelashes cast shadows on your delicate cheeks. You blinked a few times before your eyes slowly scanned him.
Steve’s body was stiff as a board and he felt like his tie was too tight around his neck. He had no clue how to act in this situation. He fell back on the manners his mother had instilled in him at a young age. He glanced at his watch, “Ma’am, it’s now 5:42, so we need to get going soon.” He looked back over at you and saw that you hadn’t shifted, your eyes still partially glazed over. It looked like you were still half asleep.
Your lips opened and Steve once again froze in place, “You said you have something special for me?” The sound of your low, raspy morning voice made Steve shift in his spot. He pondered your words, and then it dawned on him.
“Yes, I’ll go get it right now, Ma’am.” Steve scooted towards the edge of the bed. His plan was to sprint to the kitchen and back with your breakfast in hand before you had the chance to lay back down.
His exit plan was thwarted, however, when he a warm body pressed up against his back. You slung your arms over his shoulders and held him against your chest. You brought a hand up to his cheek and turned his head to face you as you leaned forward. “What-”
You curled your fingers in his hair and brought his lips to yours, hot and wanting. He let out a strangled gasp in surprise and you took advantage of the opportunity and plunged your tongue past his open lips. He was too stunned to do anything but react to your sudden advance, leaning into the heated kiss. When you flicked his tongue with yours he mewled and joined you in a fight for dominance. Your soft lips pressed against his as you explored his mouth. The kiss was fierce and rough, a mash of greedy need. When you pulled away he felt light-headed, his lips raw and his dick twitching in his pants.
You threw a leg over to straddle his lap, sitting right on top the bulge blooming in his suit pants. You giggled. The unfamiliar sound you emitted snapped him out of his reverie. He grabbed your shoulders before you could lock lips with him again, keeping your intoxicating scent at bay.
“W-wait. Y/N-I mean, boss, ma’am-whatever. What are you doing?” He let out a muddled huff and shifted beneath you as your core rubbed against his clothed cock. Everything was happening so fast, he needed to stop before he lost his grip and did something he knew you’d both regret. “Y-You’re not awake yet. And-and even if you were we can’t do this.” He attempted to push you off, but you grabbed his wrists and ground your pussy down into his crotch. He let out a lewd moan and cursed under his breath. You giggled again, the sound ringing in his ears.
You pouted your lips but your eyes were calculating, the sleep slowly draining from them, “What do you mean? You promised me a special treat, and now you’re taking it away from me? I expect my top employee to follow through on his promises. He should know that kind of behavior will get him in trouble.” Your voice was coated in honey as you slowly humped him, and he felt a growing damp spot on his pants. He didn’t know if it was from you or him or both, but he didn’t care. All his mind do was focus on his throbbing cock and keen for more contact. His dick wasn’t even inside you and he was already pussy-drunk.
“I-I was talking about coffee,” his weak voice trailed off at the end and he sucked in a sharp breath when you shifted so that you were only straddling his right thigh. Your knee dug into his growing erection.
“I think-” You ground your pussy against his thigh, rubbing back and forth- “that a much more efficient way to give us both a boost of energy-” Your sleep shorts did nothing to prevent his pant leg from getting soaked in your dripping arousal- “Would be an orgasm.”
He had no comeback, too captivated by the feeling of your wet pussy sliding against his thick, muscular thigh. He couldn’t help himself from bucking into your touch to get more friction against your knee. You gasped and he moaned when you pressed it forward, grinding into his bulge.
He didn’t get to enjoy the feeling for too long, though, because you moved it away. Before he could protect, you pressed your palms against his chest and pushed him onto his back. He looked up at you as you leaned over him. You brought your hands to his collar and removed his red tie, undoing the half windsor knot in a heartbeat. Your fingers made light work of the buttons on his navy dress shirt and you pushed the material away as you explored the hard plains of his chest with your warm hands. His skin was flushed and sweaty. You flicked his nipple and he flinched, bringing his hands up to hold your waist. You stilled. “Hands off.” He immediately dropped them, your tone sounded like the commanding one he was used to, with an extra warning bite to it. “Above your head.”
“Wh-” he yelped when you pinched his nipple.
“I said, hands above your head, Mr. Rogers.”
Your tight grip only relaxed when he did what you demanded. With practiced motions, you quickly fastened them together, using his tie. “Now keep them there like a good boy and you’ll be rewarded.” His cock twitched at the nickname and you noticed. “Oh! Does it turn you on that I’m in charge? You’re such a big, strong man, so let me take control for once. We both know I already do outside of the bedroom, so this shouldn’t be too difficult.” You leaned down and whispered in his ear, “And you say ‘yes ma’am’ like the perfect little assistant you always are.”
Steve shivered at the feeling of your hot breath cresting the shell of his burning ear, “Y-yes, ma’am.” He had never felt so dirty in all his life. There was something about giving you control that made him weak in the knees.
“Good boy, Steve.” You pressed a quick kiss against his temple and pulled back up, once again looming over him. With his hands placed above his head, he felt more exposed than he’d ever been in his life. He wasn’t much of a player as it was, so this was wildly out of his comfort zone. But still, he’d never been so turned on in his entire life.
You ran your hands down his chest, raking your nails across his skin. He hissed at the sting but when you settled at his pants belt, a whine caught in his throat. You fiddled with the belt buckle. “I could help you out down here, as a thank you for all the loyal, dedicated service you’ve given me.” You straightened up and pulled your loose, silk top off. Steve could have melted. You weren’t wearing a bra, so your tits were on full display. He felt drool collect at the corner of his mouth at the look of your nipples. He wanted to suck them, worship them, worship all of your body. You shifted slightly and he looked down as you shimmied out of the matching silk shorts. “Or-” you said as you returned your hands to the top of his pants- “I could ride your face like it’s a fucking saddle.”
His cock strained. He’d be satisfied with either option, he just wanted to feel more of you, however you dished it out. You grinned like a wolf, he guessed you had made your decision, which was a good thing because he was about to bust. “Or, how about we do both?”
You unbuckled his belt, undid his pants, and pulled them down to his knees. His groan was low and instinctual when you grabbed his dick and stroked it up and down. While still stroking him, you pivoted your body so that your ass faced him. His hands itched to grasp your ass cheeks and squeeze. You must have noticed because you clucked your tongue. “Remember, no touching.”
He dropped his jaw, tongue at the ready as you backed up further and landed on his face. He lapped at your flowing juices like a man who had been lost in the desert for a year and had finally found water. The sound of your lecherous moans only egged him on further, and he dug into what was soon becoming the best meal of his life. He plunged his tongue further into your pussy, passing your entrance and diving right into your dripping hole. He repeated the motion over and over while nuzzling into your heat. His chin brushed against your clit and you mewled.
Until that point, you had been steadily stroking his straining cock from tip to base at a torturous pace. As you ground your pussy into his wanting face, you lowered your head and enveloped the tip of his cock in your mouth. You sucked up the precum beading from it and hummed at the musky taste. Steve’s hips bucked up and he groaned into your core. You dug your nails into his thigh as a warning. He panted against you but didn’t stop in his quest to make you come.
You continued to suck his cock, it was large and girthy, but you were plenty up for the challenge. Inch by inch, you lowered your head, pausing to adjust to his overwhelming size. His cock burned through your throat, but it was well worth it when you felt his absolutely feral reaction against your cunt.
He sucked against your clit and you groaned around him, starting to bob your head up and down. You worked together in tandem, sucking and licking. Steve’s cock was large and thick, it was heavy in your mouth as you worked your way down him, not quite reaching the base. You groan around him, the vibration and squeeze of your throat was sending tingles of heat through him.
When he flicked his tongue on your clit, you started pumping with a new vigor as you ground your hips down onto his face, riding him like a god damn horse.
 It was the sexiest thing he’d ever experienced.
He felt lightheaded, partially from his life being sucked from cock, and that his entire face was enveloped by your velvety flesh and heady essence. He only got little spouts of air in when you would hover off of him for a second. Each time you did, he whined, wanting your sweet cunt back on him. He didn’t need to breathe, he just needed to consume you, devour your pussy like you were devouring his dick.
He’d never felt this kind of pleasure in his life, and having you on top, you in control, it brought out something deep inside him he never knew existed. He felt a connection beyond simple fucking; beyond the lines now blurred between work and play.
It was an undeniable urge to please, to obey. The want for his own release paled in comparison to his want to give you everything he had. Because he needed to be the one that gave you pleasure, that ate you out with abandon until you became moaning mess. All the while, you still held the reigns, able to lift away were he to make even one unapproved movement. So, he blissfully did what you commanded. Let the stress of his life and job fall away, and just focus on the singular task of getting you to cum on his tongue.
He could have spat his load ages ago, probably without you even touching him, but he knew that was taboo. He had to have permission. He just couldn’t voice his pleas. His desperation for relief from the almost painful torment you were giving him was muffled by your weeping cunt. You must have noted his obvious need, because the next time you popped off his dick, you replaced your mouth with a warm hand and asked, “Do you need to cum, Stevie?”
He moaned, that simple nickname coming from you did something to his brain. He tried to nob but you pressed against his head harder, wiggling your hips. 
“I’ll tell you what. since you’ve been such a good boy for me and have been eating out my cunt like a starving man, I’ll let you cum.”
Tears were welling in Steves eyes as you teased his cock, rubbing your hand around his cockhead, swirling beads of his precum along the thick veins. 
“First, though, you have to make me cum, understand?”
Steve’s reply of, “Yes, Ma’am,” was muffled from underneath you.
You chuckled. “Go ahead, then.”
He ran his tongue between your slit, collecting your dripping juices and mixing them with his own saliva. He brought the salacious mixture up to your bundle of nerves and twirled it around your trembling little nub. The sound of your moans combined with the sloppy shlucking of his own ministrations was like music to his ears. 
When your moans morphed into blissed out praises, “Good boy, that’s it. So good - so good for me Stevie,” he lost all sense of control. Like a feral animal, he growled into your heat, nipping at his irresistible prey. He grazed your throbbing clit with his teeth and then fluttered his tongue on it. The sudden teasing took you to the edge, and when you pressed your ass down for more, he met you, smacking his lips around your sensitive clit and sucking. Not holding back, you mewled and cried out as your orgasm shot through your body, blazing with the most divine fire imaginable. You shuddered over him as he gobbled the arousal flowing from your quaking walls like a fountain.
Your pleasure still rolled through you as you bent back down and enveloped his cock in your mouth. Drool and precum slid down the sides as you pressed down, taking him all the way to the hilt. He didn’t know how you could possibly breathe, but before he could grumble his concerns, you swallowed around his pulsing length. The feel of his dick hitting the back of your throat as you gagged around his massive size was like heaven.
He almost couldn’t believe you were doing this with such vigor. The blowjobs he’d received in the past always seemed like a chore for his partners, something they had to do solely for his pleasure.
But not you. The both of you knew who was calling the shots. You could have gotten your fill, kicked him out of your apartment, and he wouldn’t have voiced a single complaint. The fact that you wanted him to cum in your mouth, that you craved his release as much as he craved yours, it set him on fire in a way he’d never experienced before. It was incredible. You were incredible.
God, your fucking mouth was incredible.
When you brought a hand to his balls and squeezed, he had no choice but to let go. His cum shot up into your wanting mouth as you sucked the leaking tip of his cock, pumping the base to milk out every last droplet so you could swallow it down.
Steve kept himself from bucking up into your throat, he knew better than that now. He roared into your pussy, the aftershocks of his orgasm shaking through his sweat-drenched body. He lapped at your sopping folds, drinking up every drop of your sweet nectar, still starving for your essence. You swallowed it down.
Steve let out a groan of protest when you pulled your delectable pussy away from him. His eyes were fixed on your ass like it had hung the moon. You shifted so that you were once again face-to-face. Reaching out, you untied his hands. He kept them in place until you gave the word to move. “That’s my good boy. Go ahead now, you can even have a little touch.”
With your permission, he placed his hands on your heavenly ass. Before he could partake in anymore of your generosity, a blaring thought shot into his mind. He wrenched his left hand off you to check his watch. “Shit! It’s 7:15! There’s no way we’re making it to the meeting on time.”
You set a hand on his chest, stilling his instinctive personal assistant panic. “Don’t worry about it, Stevie. They called last night to say it was pushed back to this afternoon. I guess I forgot about my-” A smirk played across your lips-“Wakeup call. My bad,” you chuckled, giving him a knowing wink.
Steve didn’t have the energy to even be a little bit annoyed at the (supposed) mix up. This was the best morning of his life.
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tatuaggiolove · 7 years
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4/4 ~Scar cover up tattoo! Very beautiful! Submitted by @rubynationwins ~
Tattoo done by Wolf Creek Tattoos
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A Visiting Future, pt. 1
Steve Rogers x Reader
A/N: A commissioned series for @girl-next-door-writes . There will be FOUR PARTS, all written. 
Summary: Someone from the future comes to visit Steve and you, and they have a message.
Part 1    Part 2   Part 3   Part 4
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There were two things going through Steve Rogers mind as he fought off a pair of Hydra agents; the first was that if it was ever going to be possible to finally rid the world of their presences, and second, was fighting all he was good for? It had been nearly six months since Wanda and Sam had joined the team, and he had still been searching for his old friend, Bucky; and while he would never give up on any leads to find him, Steve was growing tired. The fighting was never ending and often he ached, when alone, for downtime or even a chance to amuse himself with thoughts of something more – like the boy from Brooklyn used to do. Was there more to life than being an Avenger, and would the work ever come to an end? Of course, he was grateful for the team and cared about them like family, because they were, in fact, the only family he had left. Yet, a man was only human; he was only human and longed for things many did.
“Cap, I got eyes on the prize,” Sam echoed through the comm. Steve looked to the sky and saw the wings of the Falcon, and ordered him to take down those he could, while the rest of the group ran to help him. He immediately brought down the two agents swiftly with his shield and raced alongside Wanda, who was using her own abilities to take down whoever came toward the duo. Steve smiled at her and thought how far the young woman had come, and he felt a sense of pride when she nodded to him before taking off ahead of him. He did that sometimes, let the others take the lead – he realized it was important to do so, and that, maybe, he was setting them up for the future. A future that didn’t include him, at least not when it came to the Avengers – and maybe that’s why he recruited Sam and Wanda, and the newest member: you, a woman who held a strong sense of leadership that won him over the day Maria Hill asked the Avengers for help locating you.
You were a former SHIELD agent, who was captured while out in the field -another Hydra experiment gone wrong or right, it all depended on how one looked at the situation. Long story short, they injected you with some serum that gave you the ability to burn things with your hand; your hands would glow this yellow fluorescent color and warm whatever you touched. It had taken some time and training to get things under control, and eventually you learned how to turn it off and on. Bad guys? They got the grunt of your heat, would be burned on the spot, heat seeped through what part of them you touched – it was enough to weaken them if you were feeling generous. Good guys? Well, you developed a fun party trick with popcorn that Clint most of all enjoyed.
Steve caught up to Wanda, who fought alongside you, as Sam took to the sky again.
“Steve, my heat radar showed six different bodies,” you said to him, looking down at the holo-watch on your wrist. He noted your confusion and asked what was wrong. “They just disappeared.”
Wanda shook off the last of the agents and turned to you. “How could that be?”
Looking to the Cap, you examined his face and noticed his lips pursed in thought, but only for a moment. He looked to you and nodded. “You two check the perimeter, I’m going in. And Sam? Keep an eye on all exits from above.”
“Be careful, Cap,” you advised, motioning for Wanda to follow you. Steve watched as the two of you disappeared around the building, and took a deep, preparing breath before racing toward the building. He kicked opened the door of the Hydra hide out and took slow deliberate steps as he approached a long hallway – it was dark, but he kept going and looked down at his own holo-watch. There were no warm bodies or any sign of life, as he scanned the building from where he stood until something popped up on the radar.
“I have eyes on someone,” he said.
“Wanda and I are heading in from the back,” you said.
He didn’t reply because the figure seemed to move toward where he stood; holding up his shield, Steve took a fighting stance and waited for the person to come through the end of the hallway door. The anticipation was killing him as he heard footsteps approaching and then the door sliding open – Steve was ready to fight expecting to see a Hydra agent, but that was not who came through the door.
It was a young man, a kid no older than twenty it seemed. His eyes were wild until they landed on Steve and it seemed his entire demeanor relaxed, and what confused Steve the most was the smile – the smile on the young man’s face.
He looked relieved and it seemed odd to Steve as the young man approached him cautiously, yet the smile remained.
“I’m glad my timing is right,” he explained, eyeing the stance Steve had taken. “You can relax, I’m not trying to fight – believe me, I know how you fight, and Aunt Nat had plenty of stories to tell.”
He stared at the man in disbelief. “Aunt Nat? You know Romanoff?”
“She was my number one babysitter whenever Mom and you needed a night off.”
Steve’s body seized as his shield moved down to his side, he looked at the kid and wasn’t sure what to say or believe. Millions of thoughts ran through his head, unable to wrap his brain around the fact that this young man is suggesting something he couldn’t even apprehend. His chest heaved and before he could ask for confirmation, the kid took three steps closer to him.
“I’m going to take a picture out of my pocket, don’t kick my ass,” he joked but Steve didn’t break a smile; he just waited to see whatever evidence he had to show. “Man, you have definitely lightened up over the years.”
“You’re catching me on a trying day,” Steve said, swinging his shield to his back where it locked onto its strap. He watched as the kid pulled out the photo and held it out.
“I know whatever I say you won’t believe until you see this photo,” he said. “I need your help, so please look at it.”
His words seemed genuine, so Steve took the folded photo but before he could open it, you came rushing into the room. He looked up from the folded photo and saw you standing behind the kid, fists glowing.
“Steve! You didn’t respond to my call on the comm, shit, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, I’m sorry, but we have a situation,” he said to you, eyes on the young man, who looked as though he had seen a ghost. His eyes were watery, and Steve could see his body shaking as he slowly turned to face you.
You stared at the young man in front of you, the color of your fist dimming down to your regular skin tone as the kid attacked you with a hug. Eyes wide, you looked to Steve, who just stood there with a piece of paper in his hand – calling out his name, your hands fell to your side as the young man held you tight, mumbling something you couldn’t understand.
Disregarding your calls, Steve glanced down at the photo and slowly unfolded it. The picture was wrinkled in the middle, but it was clear as the morning sun – the first face he recognized was his own, standing in front of a sign that read Yosemite Park. He was holding a boy, maybe five, on his shoulder and with his other arm, he held a woman close to his side.
“Steve,” you called his name again, but his eyes couldn’t take them off the woman’s face until Wanda and Sam came running into the room, the latter demanding to know what the hell was happening. Steve ignored his friend, eyes searching the room for yours – a lump in his throat, unable to speak as he looked into the eyes that matched those in the photo.
....
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butiaintgonnaloveem · 6 years
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Tiff’s WTF*ck Challenge
Hey friends!
I’ve been feeling pretty disconnected - less reading, less reblogging, less interaction - since my job change and having less time to spend around here, so why not fix that with a writing challenge?! Yes? Yay!
One of my old favorite sources of internet humor is Sleep Talkin’ Man. And your assumption is correct, he talks in his sleep. His wife started recording him and posting the clips online and it’s hilarious.
SO - for this challenge, I’ve collected some of the absurd, inappropriate, foul, and funny quotes from that delightful fella and now challenge you to incorporate it into your SPN fanfic.
Rules:
Send your quote request as an ASK ONLY please so that I can keep track.
You can write for any SPN character, my preference is Sam and Dean, but you do what feels right.
Any genre/pairing/trope is welcome, just make sure you tag it appropriately!
One writer per prompt.
Fics will be due by July 1. I’ll post the masterlist just before I go to ChiCon.
Use the tag Tiff’s WTF Challenge to help me track your fic
Yes, you can combine it with another challenge, yes, you can have an extension if you ask for one, yes, it can be part of a series.
No, there is no word limit or max. However, you must use the “read more” feature if longer than 500 words.
Ready? Okay. 
“This is my story. It starts with me. And it ends with me. And everything in the middle is about me. Greatest fucking story ever written.” @acreativelydifferentlove
“You really are life’s wet patch. An embarrassing little stain that no one wants to admit to...or sleep on.”
“I shit gold, piss silver, and puke bronze. I don’t need a medal to tell me how fucking awesome I am. Got that, bitches?” @ellawinchester1993
“I’d rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that’s just my opinion. Don’t take it personally.” @torn-and-frayed
“You’re gonna have to shave your pubes. It’s like fighting an army of permed spider legs down there, and I’m gonna lose. I’m gonna lose.” @deansbabygirl01
“Fuck! If I don’t get to the motherfucking flower show, I’m gonna fucking kill someone!” @frejahertziswritingthistime
“Why don’t you call back later, and we’ll see whether we can get the world to revolve around you.” @whispersandwhiskerburn
“I’m gonna have a great day...Don’t you fuck it up.” @roxy-davenport
“This little tampon went out, this little tampon stayed home. This little tampon had an applicator, this little tampon had none. This little tampon’s covered in...poop. WRONG HOLE, PEOPLE! Wrong hole.”
“Oh! It’s a poltergoat. A poltergoat! You can’t see em, but you find all your clothes chewed. If you listen carefully, you may hear a ghostly baaaahhhhh. Poltergoat! Baaaahhhhh.”
“Ghosts going bump in the night. Clumsy fuckers.” @quiddy-writes
“I’m like a vulnerable fawn in the woods. One that happens to carry an uzi, ninja throwing stars, and a motherfucking bazooka.” @winchesterprincessbride
“Now I’m going to ask really nicely for you to un-fuck this situation.” @mandilion76
“There was so much blood! Oh, there must have been at least five llamas. Totally unprovoked attack by those puffins. I managed to clip their wings. This is llama turf.”
“Well that’s just great. Peanut butter in my crack. Goddamn it.” @saxxxology 
“I’ve written your epitaph. Yup. I did it early. You wanna read it? ‘Here you are, lying dead. Ha ha ha ha ha.’” @sixtysevenandwhiskey
“It’s growling. Shhh, it’s growling closer...It’s an angry thing, a big angry thing. It likes cabbage, though.” @helloimsensitive
“Hey! You killed my velociraptor, dickhead. That’s so unfair. You do realize how hard it is to find one of those ‘round here, don’t you?”
“Sure you can have my phone number. It’s like having a direct line to God. But better. Because I answer.” @internationalmusicteacher
“How do blind people know they’re done wiping? How?” @mrsbatesmotel53
“I’m sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. But if you’re not my mother, you can leave a message. Beeeep.” *Bonus points for not using Crowley* @soullessdemontrap
“If she sends me one more fucking smiley face emoticon, I’m gonna shove that keyboard so far up her ass, she’s gonna have to tweak her nipples to force quit.” @kayteonline
“I need someone else to help me catch ghosts. Cause we’re going out to kick seven shades of spiritual shit. Yeaaaah. Ghose kickers! Free floating vapor? Free floating fucker, more like. Come on, let’s get em!” @ravengirl94
“I wanted a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with a Maglite. For fuck’s sake, get back in your hole and get it right.”
“If honesty’s the best policy, and the truth hurts, then you’d better call an ambulance, cause you’re not gonna like the stuff I’m gonna fucking say.” @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog
“Goddammit! Where’s my bazooka? I put it on the ground, expecting it to be there when I come back. Have you been tidying up again, cause I really would like my bazooka back. I don’t know where you put things. Jesus! Cannot just leave anything alone, can you?” @atc74
“It’s Captain Fluffer! Hero to teenage boys.”
“You’re right, elephants in thongs are not something you see every day. Enjoy it.”
“Back off Robin. Batman is my bitch now. You’re just a bitch’s bitch, bitch.” @seenashwrite
“OK, so that’s your weekend homework. Go home and slap grandma.”
“Your singing can wake the dead. So shut the fuck up. I don’t want any zombies dropping their jazz hands all over the fucking place. Alright? Just shut it.” @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms
“Just put the fucking cow’s head on the pavement and walk away. Leave it alone, stop playing with it. It’s just a head. Ooooh, it’s got it’s eyeballs in still.”
“Happy Birthday! It’s a dead puppy!...Now listen, you: You didn’t specify a live puppy, you just said you wanted a fucking puppy! Jesus you’re spoiled. Now go take it for a drag.”
“I’m losing faith in humanity, one faked orgasm at a time.” @lipstickandwhiskey
“I’m sorry, but not knowing what a horcrux is is a deal-breaker to me. Deal with it, muggle-fucker.” *Bonus points for not using Charlie* @notnaturalanahi
“Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We’re done for...done for.”
“It’s amazing how you can smell so bad, but still be alive.”
“Harder is NOT a good safe word.” @lifelovelaughangell123
“Buffalo wings? Are you insane? Those cows can’t fly. It’s a lie, I tell you. A fucking lie.”
“Scales. Must have scales. And razor claws. I want some feathers. And a goggly thing on its head. Yeahhh. Dinochicken. Awesome! I feel like a god. All right, what’s next? Guineapigasaurus. Bring it on!”
“Garlic cheese! Double death to you, you lactose intolerant vamp man!”
“God, you whine like whale song. But a lot less eerie and beautiful and more, well, fucking annoying.” @silencethroughwords
“Dance for me, go on. Oh, you were! I thought you were having a spaz attack...Doofus.”
“Leave my gnomes alone. They’re MY gnomes, living in MY house, doing MY gardening, and they’re happy. Look at their fucking smiley faces. Can’t you see how frickin’ happy they are? Who are you to judge me?! Go on, gnome, cut the grass. Good gnome. Good gnome.” @the-winchester-gospels-and-cas
“You can’t drop them. You can’t set them on fire. You can’t feed them to crocodiles. You can’t let them play with fireworks. I mean...kids: what the fuck?!” @ellen-reincarnated1967
“You know, with you you you, it’s all me me me. Well fuck fuck fuck fuck you you you.” @rizlow1
TAGS: For participation and signal boostage!
@mogaruke @feelmyroarrrr @kayteonline @seenashwrite @notnaturalanahi  @mrswhozeewhatsis @deathtonormalcy56 @kittenofdoomage @jpadjackles @supernatural-jackles @luci-in-leather @babypieandwhiskey @idreamofhazel @impala-dreamer @sis-tafics @littlegreenplasticsoldier @ultimatecin73 @mrsjohnsmith @mandilion76 @boxywrites @sherrybaby14 @sylverminx @there-must-be-a-lock @deandoesthingstome @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @ceeceewinchester @kathaswings @dr-dean @roxy-davenport @avasmommy224 @moonlitskinwalker @docharleythegeekqueen @is-this-you-manning-up-sammy @quick-act-supernatural @frick-you-im-a-princes @charliebradbury1104  @blacktithe7updates @klaineaholic  @ilsawasanacrobat  @ayeeitsemry @hexparker @quiddy-writes @ravengirl94 @donnaintx @rubynationwins @someday-once @winchesterprincessbride @manawhaat @anotherwinchesterfangirl @acreativelydifferentlove @luci-in-trenchcoats @whispersandwhiskerburn @lipstickandwhiskey
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Thank you to everyone that participated in my Supernatural Crack Attack Challenge!!
Don’t worry, the extended date is October 31st, so you can still get your fics onto the masterlist. I will not be posting it until then. However, if you turned it in on the actual due date, you will be added to the Plaid Owl Drawing. I will be announcing the winner when the the masterlist goes up! (I’m sorry, I know... you have to wait to see who wins... Ooops. lol) 
This is everyone that will be entered into the drawing: 
@purpleskiesandcherrypies @evansrogerskitten @deans-jiggly-pudding @winchesterprincessbride @bamby0304 @waywardrose13 @hannahindie @scuptorofbeginnings @myinconnelly1 @waywardmoeyy @rubynationwins @winchesterwolf30 @samslittlespoon @rideandwritethings @a-winchester-fairytale and @thatfanficstuff
Those who I haven’t gotten anything from: @mellomish @theworldiscolorful, @wingedcatninja @hollygopossumlovesj2 @curly-haired-disaster @jo-yo @spnbaby-67 @waywardbaby @and-we-are-all-dead
If you have posted something and I didn’t see it, please send me the link and so that I can add you into the drawing. If you fell the need to drop out due to whatever reasons, then please let me know as well. 
Thank you to everyone that participated! You guys are awesome! I was afraid that my challenge was going to be a flop. I would have been so embarrassed. So thank you guys!! 
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