cri.trolestats ending their fantastic reign on twitter has irrevocably transformed my peripheral understanding of what the hell is going on in campaign 3 right now, because i have not been around cr tumblr since back in the beginning of campaign 2 and was WILDLY unprepared for the renewed ferocity of the memeing-while-streaming side of the community. i have not been able to comprehend a single liveblog i've seen so far. it has been one of the most enjoyable not-viewing experiences of my life.

With This Ring (1)

Also posting here if you want to avoid Ao3 for some reason :) A Corpse Bride Steddie AU you didn't know you needed. Steddie Big Bang 2023 - project 202, brought to you by myself and two wonderful artists, @yellowsweater-bluevest and @mcdadarts.

"So...a big day tomorrow?" 

Steve didn't even look up from the piano. He just chuckled, a mixture of bitterness and amusement that felt like his personal brand, a perfect description of his life. His fingers were moving over the keyboard in natural, long practiced strokes. "Something like that," he said. 

He noticed movement on his left as Robin walked to the window to check the blinds, to make sure they shielded her and Steve from any and all unwanted attention. It didn't matter that the only thing they could see were the woods around Robin's house, Hawkins had eyes everywhere. 

The shuffling finally quieted down and Robin leaned against Steve, patting his shoulder. “You’ve really improved, you know that? You’re much better than me now and the hesitation you had a few months back is gone. I don’t give praise just to anyone, but you should be proud.” She smelled like dried flowers and Steve huffed out a quiet laugh. Just like Robin to act all tough and snarky but keep all the flowers that she was given. 

“Thanks. Both for the praise and for letting me practice here.” He didn’t add that she might as well have been the only person who appreciated his playing, who saw how much it meant to him. Or that if his father knew about his hobby, he would have likely smashed the piano to pieces and if one or two of Steve’s fingers happened to be collateral damage, well. Two birds, one stone. Instead, he slowly brought his hands into a coda and stilled his fingers, let the melody linger in the air for a bit longer. “When is she coming?” 

Robin checked her watch and blushed, much to Steve’s amusement. “Any minute now.” 

“You know you have nothing to be nervous about, right?” When she didn’t respond, he nudged her side one, two times, until she wheezed and grasped his fingers. “It’s not like you have that stupid rehearsal tomorrow. And everything will go,” he straightened his spine, adopting a stern expression very closely mimicking his father, “according to plan.” 

That finally made her chuckle and relax. “And what a plan that is! Fantastic, magnificent, absolutely riveting. And if someone decides to show up, we’ll just finalize the details-”

The bell rang, stopping her rambling. Robin immediately left his side, almost skipping to the door as Steve watched her go, trying to fix her hair in the process. He felt a strange pull in his heart – he used to think it was jealousy, but now he finally knew what it was. Yearning. Seeing someone so happy, he thought that maybe one day, when all of this was over, maybe then- 

Once they made sure the door was closed, Nancy greeted Robin with a gentle peck on her lips and made her way into the living room. “Hi Steve. Ready for the big day?”

He laughed as he squeezed her hand in greeting. “Oh, absolutely, can’t wait to practice my vows and see both our families rejoice at the flawless performance.” 

“Steve, your sarcasm is showing.” Nancy rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed the pretend annoyance. 

“Oh, is it? Sorry.” His fingers returned to the keyboard, grazing their surface. “Anyway, you have a date to get to and I’m here to provide an alibi. Would you like your favorite song to kick it off?” 

Before Nancy could react, Robin gently moved her to the side, hands on her hips, and cleared her throat. “Sure she wants to hear it. We’ve been practicing all day for the big occasion, right, Steve?” 

His laughter gradually faded into the well-known melody and he found himself humming along as Robin sang with all the dramatics and passion she could muster:

“Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married

Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married

You've been grand, but I'm not getting married

Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married

And don't tell Steve, but I'm not getting married today”

Steve Harrington’s life was perfect, that’s what everyone kept telling him. 

“The perfect house”, they scoffed as they peered into his living room, seeing the pristine carpets, the shiny displays of expensive statuettes and framed pictures. Of course they could afford housekeeping, of course they had the prettiest flowers in their garden – planted, watered and maintained in their perfection by a professional gardener. Of course Mrs. Harrington never allowed something as mundane and dirty as soil near her manicured nails. That was the image she always portrayed, even if Steve sometimes saw her watching the wilting leaves, her fingers reaching out before quickly withdrawing. 

“The perfect family”, they muttered as they observed the Harringtons leaving for yet another gala, another social function that allowed them to flaunt their wealth, their status. They were a sight to behold - the patriarch of the family, Richard Harrington, with his strong jaw, cold eyes and practiced booming laughter, the trophy wife, Mary Harrington, and her platinum blonde hair in stiff locks, the most expensive jewelry and effortless mingling...and Steve. The golden child Steve Harrington, the boy who could easily charm and entertain, who enchanted many a heart in his high school years, the boy who excelled in sports and took a junior position in his father’s company after school to prove himself. Perfectly respectful, maybe a bit of a rascal, but boys will be boys, they said. 

“The perfect future,” they spat out as they saw Steve leaving his father’s office, that charming smile plastered on his face, oblivious to the worries of common people. How far would anyone else have gotten if they had private sessions with Mr. Harrington, explaining to them the intricacies of their business? But of course, the boy did not understand how lucky he was. 

It was only natural for the perfect boy, now a young man, to have a perfect wife too. And how fortunate that there was a family in their town of Hawkins that fit the Harrington criteria – a traditional father, on the right side of the political spectrum, of course, a housewife with just enough brains to be charming but not too much, not to overshadow her older husband, and three kids. Not all of them agreeable, but the eldest daughter was bright, polite and while she was a bit too ambitious for Mr. Harrington’s liking, time and family focus would fix that small problem. Mr. Harrington believed that all problems have solutions.

Steve tried to follow the plan. He and Nancy Wheeler went to school together and it only seemed right that they eventually started dating, a studious, presentable girl and a popular jock. They did it all, romantic dates, parties – but not too many, just enough to remain the golden couple, family dinners and grand plans for their future...that is, until they broke up. 

He should have seen it coming. Their relationship had been on the rocks ever since Nancy’s best friend Barb accidentally slipped and drowned in the Harrington family pool during one of those rare parties. He’d tried to be there for Nancy, begged her to tell him what she needed, but as time dragged on, it became obvious that she didn’t know what would ease her pain. She was only sure of one thing - it wasn’t him. 

It was fine. He was hurt, of course, he blamed himself, tried to fix whatever was wrong with him, but in the end accepted it – he had to, especially after he skipped the second period and saw Nancy in an empty classroom, lips glued to a girl from his class, the passion so foreign, so different from what she used to be like with him. And even though the pain would not go away, not fully, the fear in their eyes and the instant jolt that made them leave each other’s arms, it made him understand. He just smiled at them and mentioned an empty service bathroom that would perhaps be safer, more discreet. 

It should have ended there – Steve informing his parents of their break-up, losing his first love but gaining two friendships at once. It seemed like a good trade to him, better than he thought he’d have. Perhaps he would meet another girl one day, one his father would approve of. But when Richard Harrington scoffed and said, “as if love had anything to do with marriage”, something cold settled in Steve’s stomach, something that felt awfully a lot like helplessness. His father decided what was best for him, without knowing him at all, his life a mere extension of the Harrington legacy.

Months of pleading led nowhere, and so did the reasoning, bargaining...Richard Harrington wouldn’t budge, and neither would Ted Wheeler. It would have been better for Steve to just leave, to live his own life elsewhere, but...

But Nancy had a bright future ahead of her. She was his friend and so was Robin, the second half of his soul he’d never known he was missing. So he made a deal with himself – he would stall the wedding, give just enough to keep his father if not happy, then at least satisfied, and give Nancy enough time to reach her eighteenth birthday, secretly apply for college just like Robin and Nancy and once the two of them were out, safe and out of reach of the town’s and their families’ bigotry, he would focus on himself. Maybe he’d move out and disappear, just like the girls would. Or he’d stay and face the music, living his own life to spite his father. 

So many options, so little time. 

And that was why he was currently at the piano, his fingers moving as if they had a mind of their own, producing melodies that felt like a second nature to him, the familiarity equally sweet and painful. He might have lost the first love of his life, but along with gaining a soulmate and a good friend, he’d rediscovered a part of himself that he’d never thought he would ever dare to pursue again – music. 

Ever since he was little, Steve Harrington had loved music. From the sweet tone of his mother’s voice singing him to sleep, before the golden cage trapped her in more ways than one, to gentle strumming of a guitar coming from the woods, from kids that were free in ways he would never taste. He would never be allowed to join a band, that would tarnish his reputation, that and the one of his family, to stoop to being a public spectacle. But they couldn’t always control him, the school became his refuge, long before his King Steve persona, long before he had his heart broken and glued back together. The school was a place where he could be himself, at least partially. It was ironic, the building most of his peers hated became his favorite spot in Hawkins. And in it, the musical room and a piano, a beautiful instrument that could weave any emotion into its tones – melancholy, love, hope. It was complex and perfect for Steve. 

Complex and perfect…just like the boy that he saw once at the piano. It didn’t matter that he was wearing shabby clothes, too big for him, that he had the ugliest buzzcut and that there was a fresh bruise on his cheek. His long and gangly limbs hardly fit on the small stool in front of the piano, but Steve couldn’t stop watching his hands, the thin and elegant fingers flowing like water. 

Steve was mesmerized. He could have watched the boy play for hours, letting those beautiful tones wash over him, but then he took a breath that was too deep, too audible, and the boy froze. He looked like a cornered animal, jumping up to distance himself from the piano and knocking his knee on the bottom of the keyboard. And Steve hated himself for laughing, he really did, but he just couldn’t understand how someone could go from graceful to a ragdoll in two seconds. As the boy mumbled nervous apologies and rubbed his knee, Steve stopped him, taking a step closer. 

“That was amazing. Really, really amazing. Could you maybe…could you show me? The basics? If you’re not busy.”

It turned out that the boy’s name was Eddie and he wasn’t busy. He had plenty of time between classes, during lunch breaks. Being the new kid, and the new poor kid from a trailer park on top of that…that was a death sentence in Hawkins Middle School. Steve had learned so much about Eddie during their lessons – he would bring lunch, they’d eat together in the music room and chat about anything and everything. Eddie told him how he moved in with his uncle Wayne, how he felt like a burden and never wanted him to worry so he hid his bruises and kept out of harm’s way, kept out of sight and out of trouble. He said his mom used to play a lot in bars when he was a kid, took him with her and taught him whenever she could, staying longer and longer, maybe hoping that if they stayed past midnight, his father would get bored, turn to whatever alcohol he managed to steal that day and fall asleep before they got back. It didn’t always work, but hey, it was worth a shot. And Eddie was a fast learner. 

But he never had to hide from Wayne Munson, and if Steve had ever experienced warmth and understanding, it was from Eddie and his uncle. The man seemed older than he was, balding and with a face full of lines, but underneath his gruff exterior was a heart of pure gold. They didn’t have much, but he always prepared a quick meal for Steve and Eddie when they got too immersed in their dreams of music and grand future. He’d pat Steve’s shoulder and ask him about school, likes and dislikes, his goals and dreams. 

Eddie had dreams too, he wanted to leave Hawkins and play music, no matter what the form would be. Not just covers too, but his own songs and tunes. He loved all kinds of instruments, guitar mostly, but piano had always been his comfort. He played snippets of melodies for Steve that he composed himself, often asking for Steve’s feedback, for his ideas. Whenever that happened, Steve’s chest tightened and he felt a strange fluttering. Someone found him worthy of voicing his opinion. Someone asked him for it. For the first time in his life, he felt heard. He felt like a separate person from his family, from the expectations. In that music room, it wasn’t Steve Harrington, the golden boy of the Harrington family, and Eddie Munson, the neglected trailer trash. They were just Steve and Eddie, bonded over their love for music. 

And then it ended, like all good things do. 

Steve stopped seeing Eddie and they passed each other in the hallways of the Hawkins High, all blatant disregard and secret glances. Eddie’s hair had grown long and wild, he became loud and unapologetic. His instrument of choice became a guitar, he got held back once while Steve graduated. They moved in separate circles now, Steve focusing on sports and finding a part-time job, Eddie fully embracing being the town freak and then eventually leaving, disappearing one day without saying a word to anyone. Just as it was always meant to be, that’s what his father used to say.

Steve Harrington never meant to play the piano again, although he longed for the ghost of the touch of smooth and cool keys. He’d locked those desires deep inside himself, burying them along with the one friendship that used to mean everything. 

Until Robin Buckley came along. 

Robin’s family was fond of music and proud of it. Their collection of instruments was enormous and the first time Steve visited her house with Nancy under the pretense of meeting his girlfriend’s best friend, well, new best friend after Barb Holland had met her tragic fate, Steve found himself staring at their piano. The shard in his heart came loose and the longing was too much, too dangerous. 

But Robin saw him, of course she did. She gently took his hand and led him to the piano, sitting him down. “Are you going to be okay by yourself here?” she asked him and maybe the gentle press of his fingers against the keys was enough of an answer. The window next to the piano led into the woods outside of Hawkins and so did Robin’s, with plaid curtains that protected their exploring kisses and touches from unwanted eyes, all that while Steve found himself again in the familiar melodies and the memory of a boy with a buzzcut. 

In the quiet of the Buckley house, all three of them could be themselves.

Please see the beautiful art for this chapter by Moon Arin HERE!

Chapter 2

Memories 2021 Discs 5 - 6

So I asked again when I said I was going to watch memories in full if you would be interested in commentary from me as I did so. There were a lot of people who said yes, so here we are! I have officially watched BTS Memories of 2021. Here are my thoughts as I went. There were 7 DVDs in this one. Reminder that these aren't going to be smoothly written out thoughts. You get these like I'm live reacting, texting my bestie or live tweeting. Lol it'll be in like bullet point format sort of, just... a commentary post as I go. Lol Part 1 and Part 2 here covers Discs 1 - 4. Part 3 here will cover Disc 5 and half of Disc 6. Hope you enjoy anyway! Let's go!

Disc 5

Butter Motion Clip Making Film:

BTS with flowers is such a pretty and wonderful concept for real. When the photographer called Jimin the flower and he got all flustered was so cute! Jhope having a hurt foot and in pain, yet the professional always wins out and you'd never be able to tell from how he took his photos! I hope he healed up quickly! Editors calling Yoongi an Elf 😭 I'm obsessed. JK saying that everyone looked so good in today's outfits/concept! He is so right! The photographer saying to get closer together in a natural way for the group shot and Jhope going "okay okay" and grabbing Jimin by the waist to pull him in close 🥺 cuteee and even directed others into closer poses too! Lol our Dance and Photography Leader 😍 playing rock paper scissors to see how gets to be the top of the pyramid and Yoonmins complete happiness at winning is ADORABLE.

Yoonmin finishing their concept change first and just hanging out on the floor together petting the puppy. 🥺🥺 2seok finishing their shoots and Jin asking Jhope out for a drink! Lol I love the way they joke and flirt with each other like that. It's seriously so cute and it's always the same! I admire the consistency in wanting to go grab that drink together! Jhope laughing about how they do it so much there is even an article out about how they say that 🤣 Jimin going last for the photos and Jin had gone first but he stuck around the whole time to wait for Jimin (getting 2017 spring day flashbacks!) And kept trying to photobomb and crash his photos and clinging to Jimin 🤣 Why are they so flipping cute?! 😭😭😭

BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge Making Film:

The performances linked here too! I'll be Missing You Cover, Dynamite Butter, PTD AND their Full Interview here too with subs

2seok making me fall hard for their bond in memories everytime! Lol they get out of their cars and when they see each other immediately start talking over each other trying to compliment the others outfit/hat! Cuteee. During Review of their performance takes, the members point out where they aren't happy but the others are just so complimentary. You are always your own biggest critic for sure! Vmin singing to each other 🥺 After the cut for the Butter performance taekook giggling over how they sang/danced with arms around each other and everyone praising each other. Vmin walking off stage with arms around each other. To be there and just bask in all the love these guys share? How beautiful. Jimin pretending to scold the band member who was late and the band member just giving Jimin a cute high five and making him smile as he ran to his instrument in the back 😂😂 The way Tae was looking Joonie during his PTD verse 🥺 my heart! They all have so much fun during this song!

The Tonight Show w/ Jimin Fallon Making Film:

And of course, the performances too!

Filming PTD with the balloons and the each get one. Taekook immediately going crazy wacking them around and on Jin, who just goes "you are such kids" sounding so put out like he doesn't just immediately join them doing the same things 😂 can't fool us Jin! We know you love it! Lol JK boxing all the balloons. Jimin just coming over, holding his hands and pulling him away, their smiles 🥺 the caption lol "quit boxing and come play with me" (moment is the first gif used in the post) Jihope together are so important and bring such a new level to these performances honestly. Jhope learning about specific things like when the balloons are to be released from the staff and then teaching the exact timing to all the other members. Jihope working together during the review process to decide what to change up or refine to make it look better. Jimin taking time to explain it more and help out Jin (in this case) to make sure he understands and helps him practice. They both do this for all the members and it's continually one of my favorite things to see happen. "Showcasing their great teamwork" from the editors as BTS nail each shot. It's so true. JK losing his balloon by accident at ending mentions and then trying to steal Hobis balloon instead 😂🤣

Butter filmed on this bridge was the COOLEST thing. It was also super neat that after it aired an ARMY shared that she could see/hear BTS filming on the shut down bridge by her house. And she recorded it and than sat on that footage AND the news for MONTHS until after they released the performance themselves too! You can watch her video here. Also means that this performance was filmed sometime in June of 2021. I can't believe they rented out the whole bridge. They are so cool. Jikook walking down the bridge talking about how cool it is while doing vocal warm ups together! Namjoon just talking about his respect for all the engineering that went into building this bridge and how well done it is. He is so cute 😭 JK giving everyone tips on the best way to run and slide into the camera frame together during Jins verse to make it look smoothest. He is so cute and honestly SO COOL what an idea! Plus seeing them all running around behind the camera director is always so cute. Lol (save me flashbacks). Namjoon just complimenting Jhope and going "if I could dance like youuuu" 🥺😂 JKs smile at the makeup noona as she was fixing his makeup! How do they not melt into puddles everytime?!

Jin winking into the camera at the start! Whew. Jin: "don't I look cute?" Namjoon: "you do" *smiles* me: *melts into a puddle of adorableness* Yoongi: "Jimin and I are striking the same pose" members all giggle, namjoon: "butter just got cuter" me: *melts further if at all possible" 😭 Jikook looking at each other and smiling during the ending mentions when Jimin was talking about how they get to experience so many new things together as BTS referring to performing on the bridge before it even opens. They are so cute.

PTD Practice and MV Making Film:

Dance Practice before they film the MV! JK helping Tae get the moves down exactly for the chorus and Hobi rounding everyone up to get practice started more seriously. Hobi giving general tips and discussions for the the group as a whole and for their synchronization. Jimin giving Tae more minor and specific tips for help too. 🥺 3J in the practice room is my everything honestly. I'm sure you've all gathered that from these posts at this point. Lol Everyone reviewing their practice and cheering about how during the vminkook part, JK held Tae's hat while he spins out of Jimins way and it stayed on Taes head the whole time making it look like a really cool move! "You'd think we had planned that" nope, just the maknae lines perfect chemistry together. Lol JK boxing Jimins shoulder in between practices too. Cuties. JK really can't ever stop moving!

Onto the MV set with BTS deciding their concept for this MV was a gay western! 😂 the amount of yoonkook its giving me is so good for my soul. Lol JK popping out from behind Yoongi with the BIGGEST smile, melts me. And them dancing together and acting cute 😍 Adorable. JK teaching us all the sign language in the choreo 🥺🥺 JK filming on top of the big truck, and then Jimin joining him! JK helping him up so sweetly and the cute looks they exchanged the whole time they were dancing. So precious! They had fun for sure. "They look more excited because they are together" 🥺 Editors, my heart can't take it! All the tennis ball hair jokes for poor RM 😂 "real friends are merciless when they tease" TELL EM EDITORS lmfao. Filming the group scene and I can't tell if Jin was just pretending to take a nap on JKs shoulder or if he really did doze off in the background there 😂😂 and of course it's not a BTS behinds video if Jinkook aren't fighting at least once. Lol this time with balloons. Jinkook blowing the balloons air in each other's faces, Jimin sitting next to them sighing heavily 🤣🤣 the exasperation! The group hip thrusts are unnecessary. 🤣 whose idea was that?! Idk what kinda dance TaeJin are doing, but it's adorable. Lol with their backs together and arms linked! So cute. TaeJins ice-cream fight of course had to make it into memories as well too! 2seok dancing so excitedly for their duo cut scene that they accidentally danced off center. Lol Jimin jokingly scolding them about how they've been in the industry for HOW LONG and can't stay centered?! 🤣 JK staying late after everyone else to film his solo scene with the spin move he pulled off PERFECTLY. I'm sure Jimin helped him practice it too since it's an iconic move of his! I love it so much!

Day 2 shooting starts off super fun with taejinkook and namgimin trios dancing together in tiny and in sync and having fun! Jimin praising his good hair cut and how cute he looks! Yes sir, I'm glad you know it! Tae wanting to see Jimins cut hair on the recording too! Lol Vmin with the child actors is EVERYTHING. Tae saying he only brought one toy because he didn't know there would be two and promising to buy them more later and Jimin legitimately melting to the ground in a puddle of happiness at the kids calling him "uncle" 😭😭😭 PRECIOUS. Tae holding the kids while they bounce in happiness and looking so cute. Jimin talking with the kids and totally focusing on them and ignoring his poor stylist noona as she tries to fix his clothes for him. They do not make their jobs easy I swear 🤣🤣 Extra Patience has to be part of the job requirements lmfao. JK carrying the little kid back to her dad and the kid telling him that they love JK 100% just like they love their dad. 😭 and JK staying after dropping her off to watch her do the PTD dance and praising her. God they are so cute!! Super random cut scenes of Jikook hugging and Jimin telling JK that he loves him. Lol they are SO CUTE *stomps feet* I can't handle it! Jin doing the PTD dance during ending mentions and Jikook copying him. Lol Hyungs little mini mes. Adding my Post about More Jikookery during this video too!

Global Citizen Live Making Film:

Sharing the performances again obviously

BTS starting off for Butter and JK being so excited to film at such a foundational place! They were filming in such cool spots for the performance too! Vhope make such a good team. Their fond smiles at each other's ideas and warm-ups were so cute! Lol at the entire team of tannies spread out across multiple streets practicing for when they all come together and dance in the street. Joon waving at them and calling them all in like his little ducklings! 🥺 The cut before Vmins part and so instead of getting ready to dance together they just stare each other down and Jimin grabbing Tae by the neck like that 😳🤣 calm down vmin! Lol I adore them so much.

Lmfao at Tae complaining that someone accidentally kicked him in the shin. And JK reaching out to comfort him only for Tae to whirl around and go "AH SO IT WAS YOU!" 🤣 And it WAS Jungkook 🤣🤣 and they laugh it off. Lol top tier interaction honestly! Jungkook going around with a fan cooling off all the members during the break. Lol including trying to open up Jimins shirt a bit to fan inside his top to help cool his hyung down 🤣🤣

Getting ready for the PTD stage, hyungs all standing calmly, maknaes can't sit still. Business as usual 😂 Jikook taking up SPACE doing the PTD choreo onstage around everyone else. Lol taekook doing their new handshake/shoulder bump before the members all get serious and ready to start! And they of course NAIL IT even though it was super hot and they were all dying a little in the heat. More Jikookery in this post too! And that wraps up Disc 5 for us!!

Disc 6

35th Golden Disc Awards Making Film:

You can watch their full performance and stages here too if you want! It included Black Swan Intro, ON, Life Goes On and Dynamite (slow jam remix)

Their first performance of the year! GDA was held on 210109! And it's the return of Yoongi to the stage as well! A very special day indeed! JK being so excited that they were given permission to take the mini sets of the old MVs home and immediately laying claim to the ON set. Lol Jimin really wanted to take home No More Dream. 🥺 Filming their Black Swan intro and Yoongi getting SO SHY AND FLUSTERED over being told to come up center stage and make such a grand entrance. Lmfao the members were LOVING IT and yoongi was so flustered. Adorable to the max. Jikook finding Yoongi SO CUTE as he sinks into the floor to practice the entrance again 😂 so endeared as they watched him lol. Even though he was joining parts of the filming, he Still couldn't dance with the members. So they filmed On without him. But man, when they watched their review back, Namjoon and Jin asking "when can we dance with Suga again?" Broke me. 😭 lmfao the sudden discussion switch up to Namjoons snow ducks. Tannies can't be serious for a SECOND 😂 Jin following Hobi around copying everything he does. And then roping JK into doing it too. And then Jinkook start copying Tae. Who just plays along saying absolute nonsense 😂 the way their volume just keeps increasing 🤣 Hobi laughing his butt off, Jimin just watching it all with a super fond smile before swooping in, saying "let's head in. Taehyung" and leading JK off as well with an arm around his waist. The way JK just fell so easily into Jimins arm and lead is so insanely cute. 🥰 He really said, yall are adorable and I love you, but let's go now. Lol

Getting ready and coming back to perform Dynamite. JinMin walking up together and Jimin just keeps running into and yet bouncing off Jin. Lmfao Jin just can't stop giggling about it either 😂 JK posing in the elevator at the top of the stage and Jimin teasing him saying "you are acting too much like the main character, get down from there" The staff and other members educating RM on the best way to hold his drink glass out 😂 why he is so cute??

And FINALLY Prerecording stages is done and we get to move onto seeing them accept their awards on the actual award show day! JK and the other members can't stop telling the camera and army about JKs "gold" hair for the "golden Disc awards" lol and Namjoon mentioning the best thing about the award show was getting to have Suga back with them to accept it 😭 They missed him SO MUCH. The Tannies putting all their attention on Yoongi again for the ending mentions. Lol once again flustering him with attention. 😂😍 More Jikookery Here!

MTV Unplugged Making Film:

Am I adding the performances here too? OF COURSE I AM. Playlist here of all the performances, including Dynamite, Life Goes On, Blue & Grey, Telepathy and Fix You

Watching all the members run around and play in the arcade before filming telepathy was super cute! And Namjoons high notes during vocal warm ups making 3J laugh so hard! I love seeing them have fun! Jimin jumping backwards super fast during B&G after almost getting caught in the camera angle too early lmfao but was also happily showing appreciation for JKs amazing vocals too! Yoongis laughter after YoonJin accidentally crash into each other during B&G. Lol and singing/dancing to Save Me as a Dynamite warm up just for fun! They had a long day filming all 5 stages in one day, but man they killed it. Amazing stages for amazing songs!

Music on a Mission | Musicares & Dynamite | 63rd Grammy Awards Show Making Film:

And yes, of course, their final performances!

Namjoon: "I think I'm getting even more handsome as I mature"

Jin: "you don't need to voice every thought out loud namjoon"

🤣🤣🤣 no, let him! I love seeing Joon be confident in his attractiveness! The members all being just as excited about Drummer JK as the rest of us all were when we finally saw it 🤣🤣 Yoongi saying Hobi looked like a magician today in his hat 🥺 Jihope giggling and calling JK cute on the drums while reviewing takes. And during break all the members can't leave the drums alone. Lol Yoongi taking a turn playing. Tae pretending to be JKs drum teacher but accidentally getting the different drum names wrong 🤣 Vmon opera singers. They always are so silly during break time. Jimin sharing during ending mentions that JK had only practiced the drums for Dynamite for just one day, just yesterday. And JK saying, no just this morning. And all the other members being like "wow! I had no idea" and lavishing praise upon JK for his drum talent. I love hearing it!

Everyone being a little nervous and freaked out about performing on the roof 30 stories high! I don't blame them I would be shaking I'd be so nervous!! RM saying he thinks Jihope will be the two most nervous once they get up there. Lol Jimin shouting he is bored and wants to play chopsticks while they wait. So he plays a game with Hobi and JK joins for the next round. I love seeing 3J laughing and having fun together so much. A fierce bottle flipping competition taking place during their break. Lol the members watching back their one shot takes for the start of Dynamite and everyone LOSING IT when Tae winks at the camera. Lmfao Jimin lovingly checking on ARMYs to see if we are okay and if we can survive one of Taehyung's winks 🤣 Jimin and Yoongi can't contain their excitement and keep breaking out into Happy Dances 🥺 JK keeps practicing his turns and his poor makeup/hair noona is legitimately chasing him around the stage trying to touch up his makeup and hair. The man won't BE STILL 😂😂😂. Everyone naming Suga as the MVP for the day for his cute dance moves and just being happy he is back to performing with them! Tae slapping Yoongis butt repeatedly in celebration lol! At the end 2seok taking pictures of each other at the set and Jimin keeps crashing Jins photos. Lol Hobi taking photos for Tae too, which Jimin also photobombs 😂 Jimin ending the film with a Jimin TV report. He goes and films Tae and asks him to act tired, who just does some heavy breathing. He tries again with Hobi who said he can't right now. He goes to JK who when asked to act tired, even mid make up touch up, started acting his heart out and Jimins giggles over it all. Lol they are so cute.

63rd Grammy Awards Show Making Film:

I have so many incredibly mixed feelings about this. I love them. I love their attitude about everything. I love how they are understanding they might not win but trying to stay positive regardless and keep each others moods up. So many of them were so nervous they had a hard time sleeping. They all woke up at 2 am to get ready for their red carpet interview and the live stream reaction to their awards. They were EXHAUSTED but being so upbeat and there for each other through it all. Jikook sitting on the couch together before moving to their seats for the actual reaction. I know they draw comfort from being close to each other for sure. TaeJin promising kisses if they win the award too 😂🤣 Jin saying Vhope will kiss if they win and Hobi looking so confused 🤣 Tae saying that if they win 2seok will kiss and he will kiss Namjoon on the forehead. So free with the kisses and it's appreciated lmfaoo. And Joon just agreeing saying his forehead is free real estate. You know he loves their affection! They were all so sweet and encouraging to each other through their disappointment too. "Let's hug it out" Being honest about their emotions over it all, but still able to laugh, make jokes and future plans. I'm so proud of them. Tae's dad calling and telling all the members not to be too sad and being so encouraging. Lol Jimin grabbing the phone right after he said that and saying "dad! I'm so sad!!" And giggling. You know means it but he is still being so silly and positive about it all too.

The way they all burst out laughing watching their own reactions to losing 😭😅🤣 Tae going "I want to watch everyone reactions one by one, let's start with Jimin" and sitting down to watch the same clip 7 times over. He is just like us for real lmfao. The way they all gathered into a sleepy puppy cuddle puddle together on the couches to watch their performance after all that too. They are so cute. Jikookery Post over this film here.

2021 Billboard Music Awards Making Film:

Their Killer Butter performance too

During their break between filming the intro and getting into their actual dance, everyone goes and plays with the various instruments around. Jimin starts pretending to play Butter on the piano and just being silly. Suga jokingly goes "ach so embarrassing" and teasing Jimin and JK is just smiling at Jimin so fondly and says "not to me." Heart is MELTING. He is so cute and I can't handle it. Minimoni complaining about aching feet and Joon saying it's because of flat feet. Jimin telling army not to get flat feet and JK again, just there slightly off camera until he isn't looking at Jimin fondly and laughing saying "isn't that something you are born with." They are so cute together. Tae playing the piano and acting out a mini skit and Jikook both just watching him fondly and finding it adorable. Lol taekook disagreeing on if they are seen on camera or not during Jimins mirror move, so JK dropped out early and Tae kept dancing and they bet 50000 won over who is right or not going back to the review camera 🤣 I think JK won as he was right that the camera moved into a zoom on Jimin, but who knows 😂😂 both Jimin and Jhope praising the heck out of RM during the dance break, that had to have made him so happy! 🥺 Cute. The way that we only caught tail ends of jikook fooling around and giggling together during ending mentions because the camera focused on the other members talking but we saw their smiles together afterwards which was cute. They really nailed this performance.

CJ ENM You Quiz on the Block Making Film:

Seeing the members all greeting the hosts so sweetly. I have such respect for them. They are so good to everyone around them. Recounting past experiences from previous variety shows they did with the hosts and being so gracious about it all. Saying that the members wanted to film on You Quiz together more than any other show. And if that's what they wanted and they had fun, I'm all for it. Their utter shock, joy and ultimate happiness when they were surprised by the ARMY fan on the show. They LOVE their fans so much. It's amazing. So admirable. Makes me so soft!! YoonJin being so proud of themselves for winning some money. Lol Jikook playing the spot the couple game at the end during the end of the show group photo. Because of course they were 😂 More Jikookery from You Quiz here too.

Hybe "What Do You Believe In" Making Film:

If you wanted to see the final product and hadn't, for my newer armys lol BTS's section starts at 4:56

Hobi bragging "I just have to be on my phone for this scene!" RM: "you are being rewarded for being a good person" Hobi: flustered. Lol cuteeee. Bangtannies with puppies content is some of my FAVORITE 🥺🥺 the way they all bark and howl everytime the dog does 🤣 The Tannies picked "connection" as their word/theme and showed it through connecting fingers. Which was a super cute joke they didn't let go throughout the entire filming process. Lol Jimin during filming asking where his connection is and every member there jumping up to connect their fingers to his 😂🥺😍 they are all so fucking cute and funny. 2seok doing ending mentions together and saying all they remember from the shoot is everyone's fingers connecting 😂 RM saying he is excited to see what the other artists did for their video. Tae saying the most memorable scene for him was filming his CGI scene on the escalator. Jikook doing their ending mentions together too and saying that looking back and thinking on what you believe in is very meaningful and they had fun filming!

And this wraps up Part 3 for my thoughts over memories 2021 so far. I will finish watching Disc 6 and Disc 7 in part 4! Thanks for letting me share with you!

short scenarios ~ ♡

characters - tsukasa, airi, kohane.

type - fluff.

warnings - none.

a/n - my first writing post! i hope you all enjoy~! <3

You had always loved autumn dates. Holding hands while you walked under trees coloured in pretty shades of orange and red, going to a cafe and sipping warm coffee together, and stargazing late at night and pointing out constellations to each other. However, they always had one downside - the fact that they were always so cold.

And it was on a fateful autumn afternoon, a date you happened to be on with your boyfriend, that you were shivering away like no tomorrow. You silently cursed yourself for not wrapping up a little warmer.

Tsukasa, however, had noticed you shivering. It was hard not to, actually, since he was holding your frosty and trembling hand. And so, he decided to stop walking and pull you into a very tight hug, lovingly wrapping his arms around you.

"Wh- Tsukasa?!" You cry out in shock.

"You've been shivering the whole time we've been out, and as your boyfriend, I simply must do something about it!" Tsukasa declared, grinning at you brightly. 

After your original surprise wore off, you realised that Tsukasa was actually very warm. You know he always called himself a star, but seriously, it was like a miniature sun was hugging you. It was quite nice, actually, and you much preferred it from how cold you had been earlier.

"Thanks," you said quietly after a few moments, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek. Tsukasa laughs lightly and let go of you, taking your hand again.

"Come on, let's hurry home. I would hate to watch you keep shivering like that!" He pulled you off in the direction of his home, to which you followed happily.

"You prepared a whole picnic for me?" You gasped, eyes running over the red and white checkered picnic blanket laid out in front of you.

Your pink-haired girlfriend, Airi, grinned and nodded. "Of course I did! Come on, sit down."

You sat down beside her, marvelling at all of the food she had neatly packed within her picnic basket. "Did you make all of this?"

Airi began rifling through the basket. "Yup! I've been really busy with my idol duties recently, and I haven't been hanging out with you as much as I should have been... Which I'm really sorry about! So, here! I made this for you to show you that!"

She handed you a small box, to which you opened to see one of your favourite snacks, ones you especially loved when it was made by her. 

"I put extra love and care into these!" Airi folded her arms proudly. "So you better enjoy them!"

You looked back up at her tearily and wrapped your arms around her in a hug. "I know you get busy sometimes, but you really didn't have to do all of this..."

Airi sighed and hugged you back tightly, kissing your forehead. "I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. I love doing things for you, dear." She pulled away from you and smiled at you warmly. "Besides, I've already made all of it, so you might as well eat it!"

You laughed and looked back down of your box of snacks. "Yeah, right. Thanks, Airi. I love you."

"I love you too, dummy!"

Watching Kohane perform was thrilling.

You didn't think such a powerful voice could come from someone like her, and yet here you were, shaken to your very core as you listened to her sing.

You were currently backstage at a music event Vivid BAD SQUAD were performing at. They'd managed to get you backstage to allow you to watch from there, which you were very grateful for. You weren't very good with crowds, and you much preferred to view their performance from backstage, anyway.

Kohane's bandmates were incredibly talented, yes. You knew they all had a lot more experience than your girlfriend, but she still managed to sound just as good as the rest of them. When she sang, your heart pounded, and your entire body felt fuzzy and tingly.

You had never watched Vivid BAD SQUAD live before like this. Of course, you'd been to their practices at Weekend Garage, and you'd sung their praises every time they finished. But to watch them at this event, heated up even more than normal, it was a special feeling.

Once they had finished, they began to make their way backstage, all of them grinning and waving to the crowd. An, Toya and Akito quickly greeted you as they approached, as the three of them knew who you were looking forward to talking to.

"That was fantastic, Kohane!" You cried out happily as you wrapped your arms around your girlfriend once she reached you. Kohane giggled and hugged you back, her face flushed from her performance.

"I tried even harder than usual, knowing that you were watching," Kohane admitted shyly. "I really wanted to impress you."

You laughed and leaned forward, kissing her on the cheek. "I'm more than impressed. I'm practically blown away! I'm so glad I was able to see this... God, you're so amazing, Kohane." You sighed and leaned your forehead against hers.

Kohane smiled and leaned against you as well, basking in your warmth and love. She couldn't be happier to be with you here, right now.

Sunday the 4th

Where was I?  I think when I last posted we were just about to run over to Rehoboth Beach to see/hear David Sedaris at BrowseAbout Books.  It was SO much fun!  We went to see him several times in Nashville, but it was always in a theater setting at TPAC.  Ever entertaining, he reads essays he’s working on, takes questions, talks about his book tour and all that - but meeting him in a more intimate setting and having a chat was so much better!  Let me back up a bit and talk about the nice woman I met in line.  Her name is Lynnie, she’s a few years older than me, and she lives in Lewes, Delaware (I looked at A LOT of wonderful real estate there, but we deemed it too far from the Edgewaters), and she sang the praises of her town.  She goes to Zumba and water aerobics (I could just cry), she takes tap lessons from an old Rockette (OMG, how fun!), she participates in everything from book club to Bunco. She was so much fun and just so sweet - she gave me her number and told me to call her if I visited Lewes.  It was almost like having a friend. Waaaaah!

She was a delight. Back to the bookstore.  I fan girl over authors the way some people do over film stars or singers, and Mr. Sedaris didn’t disappoint.  He was warm, witty, engaging, hilarious, and when he signed my book he doodled in it.  It was the flowers from my shirt.  He drew in everyone’s books, making conversation while did a quick sketch and for some reason it was funny.  Mickey got a bird.

I had him sign my book for Matt.  I read the book on my Kindle when it came out last year.  This book tour is to launch the paperback.  Matt is also a fan, and I thought he’d enjoy the book.  I loved it.  Anyway, it was a wonderful evening and we headed home through the cornfields as the sun set.

The following evening Mickey had a big party to photograph so I stayed home and watched the finale of Ted Lasso and bawled.  Oh, it was so satisfying.  If you’re a fan you’ve probably already watched it so I’m not spoiling anything by saying that I was so glad that Rebecca got her happy ending.  But now I’m without my favorite happy, positive people to watch.  Bummer. These two....

and these two....oh, my heart!

*SIGH*  I’ll miss it like I miss Schitt’s Creek.  Good stuff. This weekend we crossed the bridge to celebrate Tyler’s birthday.  We stayed with Little Miss so Ty and Jamie could go run free for a bit, then we all shared dinner, presents, and brownies with ice cream.  It was such fun.  In just a couple of months the grandgirl will be in kindergarten, she’s grown up so much just since we moved here.  We’ll drive over to attend her preschool graduation on Friday.  I know that in the blink of an eye it’ll be middle school and then high school graduation. Yikes!  I’d love to pump the breaks on all of that, but I’m glad we’re here to enjoy it.  On the way home I always try to snap a picture of the big ships lined up in the Chesapeake Bay.

They’re waaaay out there so I can’t get a clear shot from a moving car, but I love seeing them.  I found a website that identifies each ship and its origin country, so I’ll pull it up on my phone and see that one is traveling under the flag of Japan, another from Brazil, or whatever.  You can usually pull up information showing their last port of call and sometimes what they’re carrying.  Don’t ask me why I find it all fascinating, I just do.  I look out at those massive ships and imagine the different languages, music, and meals onboard.  

  In other news, no, they haven’t caught the python yet.  That’s why I gave a resounding NO when the mister asked if I wanted to go kayaking today.  Well, that and kayaking doesn’t interest me at all. But kayaking with a chance of a python popping up is a thousand times less appealing than normal kayaking. Hard pass.  Mickey and I have very different ideas of enjoyable activities, especially for fitness.  He wants to scramble over rocks, drift down rivers (and have to paddle against the current coming back), stomp through poison ivy, and become a host for ticks.  I prefer a nice, climate controlled activity with a group of women, a soundtrack, and maybe a cold beverage afterward.  Zumba, Jazzercise, water aerobics, that sort of thing. I never got a single tick at the Jimmy Floyd pool. Just sayin’.  I’m past the age where I want to be uncomfortable. I get plenty of exercise working in the yard, I get a dose of sunshine, and I can play tunes or a crime podcast while I do it.  Then I sit in my  shady nook on the porch and enjoy a cool drink.  Won’t be long before this patch is all zinnias and sunflowers.

While I was enjoying a beverage in my shady spot, I flipped through the local paper.  There was a section listing all of the “Best of the Chesapeake” from hair salons to BBQ to physicians.  This one made me giggle.

Speech therapists! Can you imagine having a speech issue and having to call and make an appointment with any of those names??  Impossible! I did not see a category for best snake catchers on the Eastern Shore. Oh well, the day is slipping away from me and I need to get dinner started.  Kind of wishing Mickey had something to go photograph so I could just pop some popcorn and say I had veggies for dinner.  Not gonna’ happen, guess I’d better get busy.

Sending out loads of love.  I hope you’ve all had a wonderful weekend.  If not, then be glad it’s over, have a gaze at what’s left of the Strawberry Moon tonight and tell the universe that you need a break from your troubles. Stay safe, stay well. XOXOXO, Nancy

@amrrow4 @incomprehensible-vagabond

SO UH.. HERES THE FULL WDTAB REMIX FROM THE OSCARS

yes its bad but not bc any of the performers sang or rapped poorly, im not coming for any of them when i complain about this

it was bad bc of the amount of hype and expectation the academy put around this being a live performance of what is literally the world's most popular song rn, so many ppl were tuning in JUST to see this performance!!

not to mention that every commercial promoting it would play camilo's "7 FOOT FRAME, RATS ALONG HIS BACK" soundbite bc its arguably the most visually entertaining and catchy part of the song to get everyone excited

bUT THEN CAMILO'S PART WAS CUT COMPLETELY FROM THE PERFORMANCE NOT JUST HIM BUT DOLORES' AND ISABELA'S TOO AND FOR WHAT??? FOR NEW LYRICS THAT PRAISED THE OSCARS FOR SOME REASON??? FOR A NEW FUCKING CHORUS ??????

WHY???

when a song gets nominated for an oscar theres always a live performance so while many (including me!) were happy dos oruguitas was getting recognition there was a bit of "aw man it wouldve been so cool to see a live vers of wdtab" SO WHEN IT WAS ANNOUNCED THERE WOULD BE ONE ANYWAY EVERYONE WAS ECSTATIC!!!!!

literally everyone ive talked to and seen posting around (and me too!!) were expecting a broadway level performance, to see the lighting used in the movie, the choreography, creative movie inspired set design, THE VOICE ACTORS SINGING THEIR PARTS etc bc thats par the course for an oscar musical performance!!

IN FACT BC WE KNEW BRUNO'S VA WAS THERE EVERYONE WAS EXPECTING HIM TO EITHER MAKE A SNEAKY APPEARANCE OR GET A NEW LINE IN THE SONG!!

instead he just ended up introducing the song with a witty remark of "they didnt ask me to sing, even tho i AM BRUNO" lmao wish we couldve heard u too bro T__T

i wasnt even mad about there being celebrities inserted into the song or the possibility of the song being remixed, as long as the sONG WAS ACTUALLY BEING PERFORMED

HOW CAN YOU ADVERTISE YOURE GOING TO BE PERFORMING "WE DONT TALK ABOUT BRUNO" WHEN THE CHORUS IS "WE'RE HERE TO CELEBRATE OSCARS" IM ... ???

My king au headcannon Part two

So this is the follow up to this post  Which is a headcanon for this au created by @rondoel Enjoy!

Something to think about The king was meditating. He was trying to familiarize himself with the mindscape again, get a better feeling of it and see what his halves had done since the split. He was sorely disappointed. There were pages upon pages of ideas, but he found no evidence of them in the fantasy realm. No traces of the epic quests the ‘light’ half had envisioned, despite how well worked out they appeared. An ‘Ultimate Storytime’ should have left traces in the kingdom. Remus at least lived out his ideas even if they were only ever half formed and lacked substance beyond the initial impulse that brought them about. The results of these outbursts weren’t all that impressive either. He didn’t examine the ideas too closely. Obviously his perfectionistic half had abandoned them for a reason and so they weren’t worth his time. The one named Roman had spent some time in the fantasy realm, but he didn’t considered it his main duty. Instead he’d wasted time on crafting ‘ideas’ and ‘bonding’ with the others. Even the impulsive Remus had prioritized interacting with Deceit over expressing himself. Disgusting. Not that he could truly fault either of his halves. Other than his purpose every trace of him had been purged from their minds during the split. They hadn’t known to distrust the others the way he knew they should’ve. Obviously the others were to blame for all this.

As he thought of them he could feel his minister’s energy surging and subsiding in subtle burst and raging waves. One of Roman’s nickname for him ‘Stormy Knight’ seemed to suit the boy quite well at the moment. The minister was mostly alone, aside from morality. Someone had to babysit him he supposed. Suddenly he became aware of music… something strange yet familiar. “Disney. Medley.” A faint memory offered him. He remembered Disney. It was his aspiration to create worlds and adventures just as amazing for Thomas to escape to when the real world inevitably bored him. Clearly he hadn’t been gone long enough for that to change. Though he didn’t recognize the melody that was currently playing, even though he could tell that it wasn’t something obscure and nearly forgotten to Thomas. The entire imagination responded to the melody as if it was an old friend. Almost as if it was born here even. There were voices singing, a magnificent harmony. Powerful and foreboding. He followed the sound of the voices and soon saw a structure appear. As he approached he found it was a massive statue expertly carved from marble. Center stage stood a figure he recognized as Thomas holding his hands in front of him to form a heart. A brilliant smile on his face. It was heartwarming to see his boy like that. To Thomas’ left stood grown Morality with one arm thrown over his shoulder and another pulling the hooded side, Anxiety, his minister, into the group. The young side allowed it with a small smirk and gentle eyes directed at their protégé. On Thomas’ right stood Logic, a steady hand on the boy’s shoulder as he adjusted his glasses, which did not conceal the fond look on the man’s face. On Logic’s right stood Deceit, his back slightly turned to the rest and adjusting his hat, but also with a soft, caring expression gracing his features. Then right behind Thomas, standing slightly taller than they would have in reality, seemingly standing on a stage behind the group, but close enough to still be part of the ensemble, was him. Or the two sides that had been him for a while. Roman looked regal and was posing as though he had not a care in the world, his eyes proudly overseeing his subjects. Not minding the presence of Remus who was hanging of his ‘brother’s’ shoulders and making a face. It was an idyllic picture that never was and now never could be. There was beauty in it’s tragic impossibility. At the feet of the stone depictions were stone letters. Fam in cursive and then in big bold lines ILY. And leaning against the L was the minister, singing the song that had lured King away from his meditation. The shadows around him were aiding in his musical endeavor drifting around him and the statue. King took in the marvel once more, wondering how the nervous side had managed to create such a blessing with what should’ve been a cruel curse for at least a few more days before King would grant the young one his council and guidance. He hadn’t enjoyed being cruel to him. Not entirely. Sure, he had opposed creativity in the past and deserved to be disciplined. But king also knew how integral he was to the process. Roman’s discoveries regarding that weren’t lost to him. He couldn’t silence Anxiety completely. He would not get Thomas to go on adventures at all if he did so. But he had to teach him his place now, before he got any ideas of fighting him. The minister had been about to try just that and might have been successful too if he’d gone all out at once. But luckily he seemed unaware of his own abilities, or at least unwilling to use them on what he still thought to be the twins he’d known all his life. Alas he’d never get the opportunity again. “It all can be sold!” the shadows chorused around the teen-like side, captivating baby Morality with their movements as the little one clutched to the dark uniform and distracting King from his musings. “As a specimen yes I’m intimidating!” One voice continued, drifting around the side who was swaying to the music playing in his headphones with his eyes closed, holding onto Morality and then the dark clad side sang himself. “You can blame my friends on the ooootheeeer siiiiiiiiiide.” And just like that the shadows dispersed. Mostly anyway. They still swirled around the minister, but they were more of a dark aura than when they originally manifested. Anxiety seemed to be in better spirits than when he came to offer his ridiculous apology to Roman. King barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the memory. What a waste of time. Still it had been sincere, at least it seemed to be. And King wasn’t completely insensitive. He could understand that it would be hard for this young one to let go of his halves when he had never known them as one. Perhaps, King could cut him a little slack. Though he would have to remain vigilant… Hmmm, why did that word feel so odd when thinking about… Right, Virgil. Everyone had names now. Not that he cared much for those. Names were too… Names were for friends, allies. He didn’t need a name, nor did his subjects. Lest any of them forget who was in charge. King wouldn’t. Never again. The infant noticed that they were no longer alone in the room and tugged at Anxiety’s hair to get his attention. In response Thomas’ guardian pulled off his headphones and looked down at the heart. “What’s wrong popstar… or… Well, doesn’t really fit right now I guess,” Anxiety chuckled a little sadly. “Guess I’m more the dad now than you, huh?” he mused. “When this is all over, I promise I’ll never complain about you treating me like your kid again.” There was an uneasiness forming in King’s stomach. Anxiety was close with Morality, both Roman and Remus remembered that. But… how close was Morality with Anxiety? King knew that their ‘moral compass’ could be as two faced as Deceit. No, this could be part of an elaborate plan to gain his trust, he’d fallen for it once before. And of course they’d send Anxiety to do their dirty work now that all of them had already shown him their true colors. Little Morality pointed at King and Anxiety looked up, curious at first and then his eyes widened in fear. He put the child behind him and stood in a strange mixture of a respectful bow and a defensive stance. Arms slightly spread to shield his friend and head raised so he didn’t quite let his eyes leave King’s frame. “I…I’m sorry if I was too loud,” Anxiety offered with trembling voice, assuming he’d angered his king someway. Good. King approached, not sure if he was in the mood to scold or to praise just yet, but stopped about three steps in front of Anxiety as his foot hit something. He looked down and saw that the floor surrounding his minister was covered in sketches. He looked up at Anxiety with a raised brow, curious to hear what had brought on this little storm of creativity. And he found him staring at the sketches around them in horror. Then he seemingly felt the structure behind him, he turned and looked up in horror, trembling even harder. He looked back at King with wide eyes. “I…I didn’t mean to…” he started. “Then I look forward to see what you create for me when you intend to do so young one,” King mutters calmly, as he bids one of the drawings to come to his hand. As far as he can tell it’s two children playing in a forest. “Tell me about this one boy,” he instructs as he shows Anxiety the drawing. The side takes the sketch with a frown and looks at it for a moment before a small smile of recognition appears on his face. “I’d manifested for about two months. Remus felt it was about time I came on an adventure,” he starts explaining, and as he does the drawing rises up and gains colors and details that weren’t there before. Anxiety didn’t seem to notice, too captivated by his own memory as he described how freaked out he was by the forest and all its creepy creatures. Remus never let a single one touch him though. Still, it was stressful for him and he didn’t come along as often as Remus would like. The painting showed two preteens, Remus and Anxiety, the later clutching a comfort item, pillow or blanket, King wasn’t sure, maybe it was a stuffed animal. They were running around and laughing. But in their shadows Anxiety was curled up in a ball and Remus was making a gesture as if he’d just popped out and screamed ‘boo’. A lovely memory with a shadow side. But that was the nicest thing Anxiety could create with the power King had granted. Once the story was done and the painting finished, King snapped his fingers and conjured a dark wooden frame with a vine pattern around it and hung it on a non-existent wall. “I’m sorry, I know you said to get rid of the feelings, but I… I can’t… I always mess up like this please I…” Anxiety flinched when King reached out for him. Curling into himself, expecting another curse or some other punishment perhaps. Which is probably why his posture relaxed and his face was overcome with confused surprise when all he received was a brief pat on his hair. “You may not have gotten rid of those feelings but you did something even better,” King laid a hand on Anxiety’s shoulder and looked down on him. “You made something out of them. I am very pleased with you,” he informed his disciple. Anxiety looked up at him confused. “Really?” he asked, his voice breaking over the single word. Before King could answer, a displeased cooing pulled Anxiety’s attention away. He turned around and picked up the infant who immediately latched onto his neck and stared at King over his shoulder. Clearly the infant retained enough of Morality’s adult thoughts to be wary of him. Good it wouldn’t be a proper curse if the traitor wasn’t aware of the danger King posed to him and his precious family. King grinned menacingly at Morality, hoping it’d confirm the child’s worst fears about his intentions for who he apparently considered a son. What could be worse than agonizing over the fact that your sins would result in an innocent paying for them? For that innocent to be your child of course. “Please Pat, behave alright?” Anxiety muttered as he got up and turned back to the king. “Sorry… Your majesty. He’s a bit clingy,” the young man offered nervously. “Not your fault. I don’t quite understand why Logic and Deceit would leave the care for such a fussy child to their youngest.” Not quite true, King could perfectly see how they thought they had to concentrate on finding a weapon against him that they hadn’t tried already. But still. One would think that the two oldest should be in charge of protecting both their young ones, instead of letting them wander off into the territory of their enemy. If Anxiety had failed to entertain him with his tale, who knows what he would’ve done to amuse himself during this second visit? Maybe he’d put morality in a bit of a dilemma… He might still do so if he ever needed for Anxiety to see that his ‘dad’ didn’t love him as much as he always claimed. “Taking care of him keeps my mind occupied. I don’t want to give Thomas nightmares or anxiety attacks. He doesn’t deserve to suffer for our messes,” Anxiety explained. King might be mistaken, but that almost sounded accusatory. He elected to ignore it. Once his rule was properly reestablished, he could revisit the subject if at all necessary, which he doubted. “Well, creating art seems to do the trick just as well,” he mused as he called forth another picture. Anxiety guessed what he wanted, looked at the picture and started to talk about the movie night and a popcorn fight, then a duel with cardboard swords and laughing about memories of middle school. The colors once again revealed a pleasant day, with a shadow of self-doubt and fear of abandonment. The shadows showed Anxiety pleading on his knees while Roman threatened him with a sword. This time the frame King made was golden and held roses. “C…Can I ask something milord,” Anxiety asked timidly. “Questions are always welcomed in the realm of creativity,” King decreed. Questions created possibilities. “What happened? Before the split I mean? The other’s won’t ever tell me.” That surprised King. And from the way Morality stiffened, he had to assume it was the truth. They’d really not taken the chance to sway Anxiety’s opinion in their favor? For a moment he considers spinning a grand tale of betrayal and heartbreak, but he found the very thought of recalling the details of the events leading up to the split… unpleasant. “I trusted them and they turned against me because they disagreed with my vision for Thomas,” he informed Anxiety calmly, hoping it was enough for now. “I’m sorry. That… That is terrible,” he whispered hugging Morality closer. The young minister couldn’t see it but there were tears in Morality’s eyes. Which pleased King. Let the bespectacled traitor be afraid this may end up being the last hug he’ll ever receive from his precious Anxiety. Was this why they didn’t tell him? Because they knew that there was no spin they could give to their deeds that wouldn’t destroy the trust they’d built with the one among them who already feared being betrayed. “I… It was a long time ago. I think… Logan seemed very ashamed of what happened. Even Janus seems to feel bad. I’m sure… can’t we all…” Anxiety struggled to express his desires, but a new drawing showed what he wanted. King and Logic shaking hands amidst the others, all back to normal and smiling relieved. Faint shadows of Roman and Remus with an arm around one another’s shoulders right behind King. The fact that his minister’s powers had conjured it showed that the desire felt impossible. King dismissed this drawing in favor of another. Anxiety sighed, accepting that the subject was finished, and continued to regale him with stories of the twins. Sometimes it was a sad memory where the shadows revealed his care and worry for them both. Like a fight over a failed audition where shadow Anxiety was trying to patch up shadow Roman. Or a fight about a nightmare where the shadow of Anxiety was embracing Remus. Then memories of the other’s came. A debate about negative thoughts where shadow Logic laid a hand on shadow Anxiety’s shoulder as a gesture of pride. A staring match with Deceit but their shadows were reaching for each other. One memory had no shadows. The ‘lights’ were in Anxiety’s domain and reaching out for him as he sat huddled in on himself on the ground. The image was conflicted enough on it’s own. Then King picked up a drawing of Morality. “That’s the first time you came to talk to me remember Pat?” Virgil coed to the child who’d been rather quiet during the creation of this gallery. Anxiety recalled how he’d been upset about another fight with Roman and he’d come over and sat with him in silence. Then he’d offered him one of his cookies. It had surprised Anxiety, he knew how much Morality loved his cookies. Sharing one was his standard gesture of love and appreciation. But Anxiety felt like he didn’t deserve either at the time. He felt trapped in a role he didn’t want to play. And because of Morality talking to him that day, for the first time, he thought that maybe he didn’t have to be. Anxiety talked more about how the thought was quickly dismissed as unrealistic but King found that it was hard to focus. The colors revealed a painting of a side being offered a hand by Morality. He didn’t even notice the shadows this time. It was like he was trapped in his own memories. Then suddenly, he was back in the present and heard something beside him. A wailing child and someone gasping for air like they’d ran a marathon at full speed. He looked down and found Anxiety curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth with a crying Morality sitting next to him clutching onto his arm. Before he could wonder what had happened he could feel the others approaching at high speed. He stepped back, not wanting to be found too close to the distressed side. He could not allow them to think for even a moment, that he felt a second of worry for the minister. He didn’t, but he didn’t need the implications of such a show of weakness to bring his strength into question. “Patton! Virgil!” Deceit called out, causing Morality to calm down and just let out a few more sniffles. King set up a disinterested mask and turned to the approaching sides. “Oh good, deal with this. They bore me,” he drawled calmly as he stepped aside. He was barely acknowledged which he normally would take offense in, but he’d let it slide until he knew what had happened just now. And if it had anything to do with that terrible feeling that had struck him when he saw Anxiety’s drawing. Logic kneeled next to Anxiety and Deceit spoke with Logic’s voice. “Virgil, can you hear us?” The boy nodded. “May we touch you?” Another nod and Logic placed his hands on the side’s shoulders. “Breath Virgil, in for 4, hold for 7 out for 8, you can do it.” One more nod and the side started to follow the rhythm that was tapped on his shoulders, stuttering trough the 4th count of holding his breath. “That’s alright, try again.” King observed as the two patiently helped Anxiety to breathe normally again. Somewhere along the line the troubled side started to whisper ‘sorry,’ and ‘so stupid’. “You are not stupid, your feelings are valid and we are here to help you with them. We shouldn’t have left you on your own. Especially not with him around,” Deceit growled, now in his own voice, before turning to King. “I don’t care what you do to me, but leave Virgil out of this! He has nothing to do with this.” Before king could retort. Claim the responsibility and remind Deceit that he’ll play with his minister however he likes, the boy spoke up himself. “Not his fault. Just, random attack,” he muttered. Deceit and King looked down and found Anxiety holding onto Logic with Morality trying his best to stand on wobbly legs while holding onto the purple sash adorning the minster uniform. Logic and Morality were staring at him accusatory, but Anxiety was pleading with Deceit. “You don’t have to defend him Virgil. We know what he’s like… And we’ll do a better job at protecting you now. I swear. Let us look out for you for once, please,” Deceit pleaded. So interesting. For all Anxiety’s fears of being abandoned and betrayed, the others seemed to fear for his safety before their own. Had they changed? Or had Anxiety not yet given them sufficient reason to be muzzled? Or was it his drastic decision of muzzling himself that had made them cautious of messing with his part of their duties? “I’m not. Jan look at me. You’d know if I was lying. He was just listening to me. He didn’t do anything bad. I promise.” Deceit frowned confused. “He didn’t do this to harm you? To cause you to create…” Finally Deceit really looked at what King and Anxiety had been working on and the statue Anxiety had done all by himself. “Virgil what…” “I don’t know, I was listening to music and all this just sort of happened. His majesty was helping me finish some drawings,” he explained, confusing King. Was he… what’s the term? Covering for him? Then Anxiety got up, picking up Morality and looking at Logic who followed his movements, hands hovering around him. As if he were afraid that the younger side would fall apart at any moment. “Please, just go back alright, I’ll be fine. Thanks for helping but you should focus on making sure Thomas is alright,” Anxiety explained bravely, not quite looking at the others. Had recalling all his doubts and fears made him suspicious of the others? This could benefit King greatly. “Run along now. And take Morality. I have matters to discuss with my minister. In private,” King informed Logic and Deceit. Anxiety looked from King back to his tutor and confidant and offered him Morality. Logic shook his head with wide eyes. “Logan, it’s alright. You look after Pat for a minute. I’ll be back soon. Just… Please trust me?” Logic hesitated, sighed in defeat and took the child. He moved to leave, but paused. He turned and laid a hand on Anxiety’s shoulder, a moment passed while the two held each other’s gaze. Anxiety nodded and patted Logic’s hand. “I will be safe. When am I ever not?” Something that would have been a chuckle rippled through Logic’s chest as he stepped away and started walking back to the commons, glancing back every ten steps or so. “Virgil… I…” Deceit started, unable to finish the thought. “I know. I’ll be okay.” And with that final assurance and a distrustful look towards King the last of the traitors left. “Why?” King wondered. It seemed obvious to him that whatever Anxiety just went through was actually meant for him. And not only had he taken the hit, he had covered for him as well. “I’m anxiety, taking on the insecurities and fears of the others is part of my job. I don’t take it all, just the really bad bits when I can take it. And… it took me forever to open up to the others about my own attacks. It wasn’t my place to share about yours. It’s nothing personal. Just me being professional I guess,” he shrugged casually. King allowed himself a small smirk and once again reached out to pat Anxiety’s hair. Once more the boy’s first instinct was to flinch, but he still let him do as he pleased. “Well done my boy. You have potential,” he told him before returning his attention to another drawing, leaving the one of Morality frameless. Later he might tell the little one a bit more about the betrayal. But first. He needed to get to know him better. “Now how about this one.”Being petted like a dog was degrading, humiliating. Trying to not just be civil towards him but formal and respectful was torture. But it was better than what he feared would happen every time the King moved his hand towards him. Virgil didn’t like being changed against his will and this king would do as he pleased with him. Which is why he had to keep him happy and away from the others. He ignored the urge to smile every time he received the king’s praise. He is not going to develop Stockholm Syndrome just because off a few half-baked complements. This guy is still a threat to Thomas… Even if the others, maybe made a mistake in the past and have a hard time owning up to that right now. Fact remained that Virgil’s job was to keep everyone safe. That meant making them not want to decapitate the king over an anxiety attack he hadn’t triggered on purpose. Still… What had triggered the attack?

September 29 Day Countdown (26/29): 2016-2018 Radio Interviews on 动感101《小畅翻牌》

2016/12/20

(2:00) Interviewer, knowing Ukraine has renowned music schools, thought Zhou Shen went to Ukraine specifically to study music before she found out he actually was in dentistry and then switched to music; she asks why he went to Ukraine to study.

Zhou Shen: Simple! Because it’s cheap. (T/N: it’s extremely extremely cheap compared to studying abroad in other countries, and Zhou Shen’s family was quite poor)

(3:00) How did you win your parents over?

ZS: I didn’t. I told them, “Hey, I don’t think I can do this” and they were like “What?” I said, “I really can’t do this.” At first, they didn’t really understand what I was going through at the time. They said, even if I had to retake a year or two, they wanted me to keep going. They said, then take some time to improve in the language. I said, “I really can’t do this anymore,” they said no, and later I went against their wishes and applied to the music conservatory anyways.

(7:30) ZS talks about how he didn’t talk to his parents for months after switching schools, until finally his parents told him, “Then in the future, whatever you do is no longer our concern” and then hung up on him. 

ZS: (8:10) They said, okay we’re not giving you money for school, you figure it out yourself. But parents are like this: they say things but don’t go through with it. So they gave me money for tuition but nothing to cover living expenses. (*laughs*) (Interviewer: They said, whether you eat or not is no longer our concern) Yup. (*laughs*) They said they’d give me money for living expenses only if I studied medicine or language. So I had to borrow money from a classmate for food. I held out for 2 months, starved for 2 months before they said, okay since you’re this persistent, even though we’re still against this- (Interviewer: They still don’t want their son to starve to death) Right, they didn’t want to lose a kid. (*laughs*)

Interviewer: (9:00) When did their attitude finally soften towards your decision? 

ZS: After the Voice. (T/N: ZS didn’t tell his parents before he competed on the show; they found out along with the rest of the public when it aired) [...] They thought, ah okay he’ll be able to take care of himself now, he knows what he’s doing.

Interviewer: (9:50) Are they proud of you?

ZS: Oh yeah, they’re absolutely embarrassing. (*laughs*) After the episode aired, my parents- they run a small business, and customers who came by, my parents would be like, “Look :) who this is :)” and the customer would be like “…??…uuhh who is-“ “ITS HUAN YAN, OUR SON SANG IT!!!” (*laughs*) and then the customer is like “uuhhh ehhrmm….” I wanted to die from the embarrassment oh my gOD, it was so awkward. So awkward. Afterwards, I started avoiding being with them when they were with people. (*laughs*) They- they’re parents; they were happy, and then they started to worry. (*laughs*) This career... how long would I be able to do it for...

(11:50) ZS talks about how surprised he was by how popular Big Fish was; after only a few days, a lot of covers started appearing online. The singers for Big Fish and Begonia’s other OSTs were very big names, Eason Chan and Lala Hsu.

ZS: At first, they planned to have another very big name singer to sing Big Fish (T/N: it was supposed to be Faye Wong!), but because of reasons, their plan never came to fruition. The song’s lyricist, Yin Yue, she’s really too good to me. She kept insisting to the director, “Zhou Shen can sing this song, you should let him try,” but the director honestly didn’t care. The production company and the director, they wanted someone had enough influence to promote the film. (Interviewer: But congratulations to them, they ended up choosing the right person for the song! :D)

(19:30) ZS: “[After Masked Singer], my parents, they posted a WeChat moment they was quite touching—they said “Our son sang so well and seeing him work so hard—we want him to continue singing.” (Interviewer: Oh so they go online often?”) Yeah, only because I spent years teaching them.” (*laughs*) 

(19:45) ZS: “Every time I come home, my parents play my songs non-stop. I asked them, aren’t you sick of listening to it? Later I asked my sister, and she told me they play my songs all the time everyday. I felt like, wah (Interviewer: “All these years of being a host, and my own parents are the most avid viewers of my program.”) Wow… auntie uncle, I’m very sorry… (T/N: LKJNASFDFA THIS MADE ME SPIT OUT MY FOOD I WAS EATING HAHAHA) they’re gonna hate me. [...] I think, being a parent is really such hard work.”

2016/12/17

(5:30) ZS talks about how he didn’t sing at all during in his middle school years. Interviewer asks whether he ever tried to conceal his being different from everyone else.

ZS: Actually, when you listen to me talk, I- all these years I’ve already gotten accustomed to making my voice lower, it’s a force of habit. I’ve forgotten what my regular voice is supposed to be like. If I relaxed my throat while speaking it would sound like this—thinner, higher. But now I can’t go back.

(7:50) Interviewer asks whether he’ll try out different styles of music:

ZS: I think right now, people don’t know me well yet. I want people to first know who Zhou Shen is, what kind of songs he sings, and then try other genres, and only then will people want to listen. If release a song, people will be like, who’s Zhou Shen and won’t try listening to it—and if they listen and it’s a genre I’m not good at? Wow, no one’s going to listen.

2018/02/03

(1:50) ZS: “Well for one thing, I really hate my voice. (Interviewer: Why?) A male with this kind of voice is really weird. (Interviewer: It’s unique! It’s memorable. Can you find other people with this kind of voice?) Yup. My dad. (*laughs*) One time, my manager called my dad and he- “Hello?” “Oh hello auntie-” I was like “wAIT WAIT WAIT that’s my dad” (*laughs*) (Interviewer: Can he sing too?) No way, he scares people to death when he sings, he can’t sing. (*laughs*)

(7:45) After Big Fish was released:

ZS: Everyone seemed to like it, it felt- Eh? This is great. After about two weeks though, comments started to appear like: “just found out a man sang this and I feel like vomiting, I deleted this song immediately.” And it wasn’t just this one, there were many comments like it. It was extremely upsetting. I felt like, one of those characters in a sad drama, the kind that gets abandoned and they’re crying like “what did I do to you to make you treat me like this? TT^TT”

Interviewer: It’s like, even if there’s a whole pile of positive comments, if there’s one negative, that’s the one you pay attention to. Even if there are 100 nice comments—

ZS: —if there’s one hurtful comment, that’s the one that sticks with you, exactly! Everyone has this tendency.

(7:20) ZS talks about his duet with Guo Qin again (see translation from another interview talking about it here), how he was just as nervous as he was in his own blind audition and how he would’ve blamed himself if she had lost: “She’s 17—super young, makes me so mad—and she was sitting so calmly; meanwhile, I was standing there, all my limbs trembling—like, who’s supposed to be helping who here?” (*laughs*)

(14:45) About how he’s grateful that he didn’t get popular overnight: 

ZS: If I got popular overnight, I think it would’ve been over for me. Because my singing really did need improvement. Also, I think my album is really important in that in helped me get through a bottleneck period. At that time, I felt like, no matter how I sang it didn’t sound good. I felt like, can I even sing? But the process of recording this album helped me to see where I needed to improve. 

So if I got popular overnight, it really would’ve been over for me, because my singing wouldn’t have improved. It would’ve stopped there. (Interviewer: And you would still believe that you’re really good.) Everyone around you is praising you like (*rapid clapping*) “You sing so well!! You sing so well!! Look at how everyone wants to hire you to sing, you sing super well!!” It’s over- it would really be over. […] I quite like progressing one step at a time.

(18:10) Zhou Shen talks about how, when he got eliminated on the Voice, he wasn’t crying because he lost, but because suddenly going from spending so much time together as a team and having such camaraderie to all but four eliminated was too heartbreaking.

ZS: (20:20) When I got eliminated, I was actually really happy. I don’t like competing, and I felt I didn’t have any pressure on me anymore. I felt bad for Li Wei because I knew there would definitely be a lot more pressure on him now, because now he has to represent our entire team in the future competition. 

After our PK, he—because we both cried so hard—he said (*shrill crying voice*) “Zhou Shen I’ll carry your name and compete to the end!! TT^TT” (*Interviewer laughs*) and I replied, (*shrill crying voice*) “You shouldn’t give yourself so much pressure, don’t carry my name just sing TT^TT” (*laughs*) 

You don’t understand how hard we were crying. After the PK, there had to be a 25-minute intermission because Na-jie had to cry too. So she’s there crying in the mentor area and I’m crying in the eliminated area and Li Wei’s crying in the advancement area. [...] During the blind auditions, every single person earned their place in the team one by one, and now all of them are being taken out one by one—it was quite brutal.

2018/02/10

(1:30) Zhou Shen talks about how he has a longer process to be accepted compared to other singers, because they first have to get over the fact that a man has this type of voice before they truly listen to him sing. Some people react like, WOW amazing!! while others are on the other end of the spectrum:

ZS: Once, I was at a restaurant and at that time, they were broadcasting the blind auditions of the Voice. The restaurant owner just happened to be watching it, and when I appeared, he was like “Eh? Who’s this- WAH-“ and immediately changed the channel. I was like ??? D’: ????? “…can I have some water?” (*laughs*) He changed the channel right in front of me, you know? He didn’t recognize me. It was- (*makes disgruntled noises*) It was really upsetting.

(2:20) ZS, about being on Masked Singer: “That was the first time I felt acknowledged by the sentence ‘wow this girl sings so well!’”

(20:30) In the three years since your debut, have you ever seen a fan who, because of your songs or your voice, their life changed?

ZS: Have I seen that personally? That would be impossible, but I have read about it in letters and comments. There was one comment, this person—they had depression, the kind that they were being prescribed medication for—but they started listening to my music and slowly started to become happier, their mental health improved. I was so astonished—music is really so powerful.

Another one was- to be honest, men with this type of voice are actually not uncommon. It’s really not just me. Once, I was at karaoke with an old schoolmate—middle school or high school, I forget—and he said, “because of you, Zhou Shen, because you sang in that competition [the Voice], I’m now brave enough to sing at karaoke. It feels like, even with this kind of voice, I can sing too.” That moment—I was so moved.

2018/05/19

(3:45) ZS talks about how Gao Xiaosong was really satisfied with how the album turned out, and how Gao Xiaosong is actually really thin.

Interviewer: Why do you always have to mention that? No one is asking about whether he’s fat or thin.

ZS, joking: How else do you think I got this album—I kept complimenting him as thin (T/N: HAHAHAHAHA)

A Luke&Lily Christmas oneshot

Hey ya’ll, I’m sorry it’s been so long that I’ve written for our favorite girls. I haven’t had much inspiration and when I do get an idea and start to write, I just think it’s horrible. Anyway, this is some holiday fun.

word count: 3.2k

warnings: mentions of difficulty in conceiving, family fluff and some uncle love

donate to my ko-fi here :)

Masterlist

Luke&Lily Masterlist

Enjoy! Feedback is appreciated :)

• • • •

 Christmas at the Hemmings’ household is always full of joy, music, and a little chaos. With Lily being in first grade she was in the Christmas concert at school where the children sang songs. She practiced around the house with Luke who would sing along with her and help her with the motions that the music teacher instructed. 

With the holiday cheer also came some holiday downs. You and Luke had been trying for another baby ever since Posy turned two in May but you’ve had no luck so far. You and Luke both had tests done and everything came back normal, the doctor said stress can prevent a pregnancy and you have had a stressful time at work lately. You’ve had to take on filing for more cases which resulted in less time at home. 

Luke tried to ease your stress away with his touches and kisses but it was your mind that was all wound up. You had a million thoughts racing through your mind on what needed to be filed, when court dates were, when deadlines were coming up and now to add on Christmas? 

Thankfully, Luke was more than happy to help you decorate the house. He even bought three sets of gingerbread kits. 

“We can have the guys come over and make them with the girls,” he smiled proudly. 

Lily and Posy loved decorating the tree and placing their handmade ornaments on the branches. Posy was still too small yet so Lily was lifted in Luke’s arms to place the angel on top of the tree. When the decorating was done, you all made hot cocoa and snuggled up on the couch to watch the old claymations of Christmas shows on the tv. Lily loved the Jack Frost story and Posy loved watching Rudolph. 

It’s the night of Lily’s concert and you have just fastened on her black shoe with the bright silver buckle. She has on a pretty red velvet dress and a green headband to tame her curls from her face. You gaze at her for a long moment, tears pooling in your eyes at how big your baby girl is already. 

“Why are you crying mama?” Lily asks, touching your cheek.

“You’re just so big, sweetheart, mama forgets sometimes,” you smile through your tears. “I’m okay, don’t worry.” You give her a kiss on the cheek then take her hand walking out of her room to Luke and Posy who are in the living room. 

He’s dressed Posy in a cute green dress with red tights. She looks like the cutest little elf. 

“There’s the star of the night!” Luke exclaims upon seeing Lily. she smiles bashfully at her stepfather then runs to his arms. “You look like our angel on the tree, my sweet.”

“Dadaa!” she giggles squeezing his shoulders the best she can. 

“What do you think, Pose? Should sissy be on the tree, hm?”

“Yeth!” Posy claps her hands together with a big smile on her face.

“No one is going on top of the tree,” you scold with a smile. “We need to get going, babe so we aren’t late.”

“Can you go get yours and Posy’s coats?” Luke asks Lily who nods and skips away to the mudroom. Her black shoes clicking on the floor. 

“You look pretty enough to put on the tree,” Luke hints, rising from his knees to stand in front of you. He skims his finger over the swooping neckline of your white sweater that shows off your shoulders. He traces the snowflake pendant perched perfectly between your collarbones. 

“I don’t think so, mister,” you poke his nose playfully and he pulls you against him. He has on your favorite green silk shirt of his, you can never take your eyes off him when he wears it. 

“Can I put you on me instead?” he asks, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear. “Later tonight in bed?” 

You sigh at his touch, the vibration of his voice makes goosebumps rise on your skin. 

“Maybe...if you’re nice,” you preen tilting your head so he can attach his lips to your skin. 

“I’m always nice. You’re the naughty one, lovie,” he chuckles.

“We’re ready!” Lily announces proudly. 

You and Luke break apart then laugh at the mismatched gloves and lopsided hats on your girls. You praise them for their efforts but put the proper articles on each girl before heading into the car. When you arrive at the school, you walk Lily to her classroom where Mr. Glass (her teacher) is settling the kids down.

“Okay, we’ll be in the third row with your uncles,” you tell Lily. “Make sure to smile and have fun, okay?”

“Okay, mama,” she nods. You stare into her eyes, your eyes, knowing she’s nervous but trying not to let it show. 

“You’re going to do such a good job, my sweet. Sing loud like we do at home, yeah?” Luke hugs her and kisses the top of her head. 

You stroke her cheek lovingly one more time, say a quick hello to Mr. Glass and walk towards the auditorium where Ashton, Calum, and Michael are already sitting in their seats. 

“Is she nervous?” Calum asks watching you shuffle past him to your seat.

“She’s not nervous,” Ashton shakes his head then takes Posy from Luke’s arms. “Hi little one, you look like the cutest ornament.”

“Is she nervous?” Michael asks peering around Ashton.

“She is, but she’ll be fine,” you smile. Luke grabs your hand and kisses it.

“Will she see us from here? We should be in the front,” Calum shakes his head eyeing a family of five in the first row. His eyes follow their movements as if he’s plotting a plan to switch. 

“It’s assigned by grade, Cal,” Luke laughs. “She’ll be able to see us and she’s going to do great. Don’t worry.”

The lights dim and the audience claps as there’s movement behind the red curtain. The ages are from kindergarten to fifth grade. The curtains open as the kids file up on the stands, you spot Lily right away walking behind her friend Roman. She and Roman have been best friends since kindergarten and they have many play dates. His parents, Trina and Sophie, are wonderful people who you’ve also become closer to. 

You and Luke spot them across the aisle, each of you waving happily. 

When everyone is in their place onstage, the music teacher comes in front of them and introduces herself and explains how hard everyone has worked on this performance. She turns around and the music starts and Luke sets up his camera on the small tripod that fits perfectly on his knee. A promise he made to Cory and Ella to record the performance because they were out of town on a trip they couldn’t refund. 

The songs they sing are the usual ones you’d expect at an elementary concert. The younger kids had bells for Jingle Bells, and the young ones did their hand motions to Away in a Manger. A favorite that had all of the kids excitement was Rudolph’s song. You kept your eyes on Lily the whole time who sang and smiled anytime she caught your eye or Luke’s or one of her uncles. 

When the performance was over, they all took a bow and you screamed as loud as you could for Lily. She was beaming. 

Lily found you in the crowd easily, hugging your legs then running into Calum’s arms who was already telling her how she was the best one up there. Trina and Sophie stopped by to say hello before they took Roman out for ice cream. 

“Are we going for ice cream?” Michael asks and Lily laughs.

“Noo, uncle Mikey. We’re having hot cocoa bars!” Lily exclaims. 

“We have a hot chocolate spread at home,” you correct with a smile. 

Back at the house, the guys help Lily and Posy make their hot chocolate. Michael lets them put whipped cream on his nose and Ashton has Posy in his lap helping her drink her own cup. He blows on each spoonful before placing it in front of her. 

“Sophie told me she and Trina were looking at donors again,” you tell Luke quietly near the stove. You put in the sugar cookies with Christmas trees on them for everyone to eat while drinking hot cocoa. 

“Really? That’s great for them, Roman’s going to make a great big brother,” Luke smiles then notices your demeanor.

He knows it’s been tolling on you not being able to conceive. It’s been hard for him, too but he’s eased up a little after finding out there wasn’t anything physically wrong with either of you that prevented it. He’s happy that you’re on an eight day vacation over Christmas and New Year’s. It will be a time to relax and be with family. 

“Hey,” he cups his hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him. “It’ll happen for us. We’ve been going a little crazy over it, but we can breathe and let it happen when it’s meant to.”

“I know, you’re right. I just can’t believe stress is making it this hard,” you huff tossing the oven mitts on the counter. 

“I’ve got some ideas to help get you out of your head,” he grins leaning in to kiss you. He tastes like sugar cookies and chocolate. 

Suffice it to say, he definitely found a way to make your head spin later when the girls were put to sleep. 

**

“Okay, we’re going to be on teams and post on social media who wins the best gingerbread house,” Luke explains.

Calum and Lily are on one team, each of them wearing a Santa hat while Ashton and Posy are a team wearing reindeer antlers. Michael couldn’t make it tonight, he and Crystal were on a last minute trip before Christmas arrived. You and Luke were on a team together. 

“Is this timed?” Ashton asks, already calculating his house with Posy. 

“No,” Luke laughs, “the girls are only six and two, we can take our time.”

“You’re going down, Ash,” Calum says, filling up his bag of frosting. Lily is kneeling on her knees on the chair watching him. 

The gingerbread house making is filled with lots of laughs and stealing of treats from Posy. 

“No, Po, we have to have a chimney on our house!” Ashton giggles snatching the chimney pieces form her small fingers. 

“Eat, Ashy!” she laughs reaching for it again.

“We can do it after we’re finished, little one, I promise,” he rubs her belly. 

Calum and Lily planned together quietly on their end of the table. You love watching the girls interact with their uncles. The guys are so patient with them and love spending time with them. You’re really looking forward to your eight days off of being with your family and friends for the holidays. 

When you were all finished you took plenty of photos of the houses and the creators of them. Luke posted the houses to his instagram story with polls on who was the best. Christmas movies were part of the agenda as well.

**

A week before Christmas, Posy had a high fever that lasted for three days. You desperately wanted to stay home with her but it was crunchtime at work so you made sure to cuddle her as soon as you were home. Her small body was so hot to the touch but you held her in hopes she would sweat it out. 

“We should take her to the doctor,” Luke tells you quietly as you feed her more liquid tylenol for children. 

“If it’s not down by tomorrow, we will,” you nod touching her forehead. It’s clammy but not as hot. “I’m hoping it’s going down.”

Luke sighs in exasperation watching you rock Posy in your arms. You’re humming to her and tracing the features of her face, a tactic that always soothes her. 

“I used to get sick around this time, too,” you tell him when her eyes close. 

“I hate seeing her so miserable.”

“Me too. We’ll watch her fever...her glands don’t feel that swollen. She hasn’t thrown up, right?”

“Only that time I tried to give her medicine,” he blinks slowly and you see the circles under his eyes. 

“Get some sleep, honey,” you tell him. “I’ve got her.”

The next day, her fever did break and you and Luke were so happy. Lily made sure to bring home a picture she drew at school in hopes it would make Posy feel better. Posy got over her fever just in time for your Christmas Eve party. 

Friends and family were gathered in your house with lots of food and music to bring in the holiday cheer. Cory and Ella watched Lily’s concert beforehand with Lily sitting on Cory’s lap. As more guests arrived, Cory was acting a little strange. He kept glancing at you and Luke while he held Posy in his arms.

“Are you okay?” you ask him finally taking Posy from him. She was starting to get fussy and hungry. 

“Yeah, um… do you mind if I say something to everyone?”

“No, go ahead…” you say giving him a look. 

He pulls Ella to the center of the living room, Luke sidles up next to you checking on Posy then nods to Cory.

“What’s going on?” 

“I don’t know but we’re about to find out.”

“Everyone? Sorry, this will be quick,” Cory begins. He takes a deep breath then turns to Ella. “On our trip, I asked Ella to marry me.”

There’s gasps and cheers from everyone, yourself included as you look to Ella’s hand. Cory has just slipped on her ring, was he hiding it until this moment? 

“And right after I asked her…”

“I told him I was pregnant!” Ella smiles pulling an ultrasound photo from behind her back. 

There’s more cheers and congratulations. You’re the first one to give them a hug and to welcome her officially to the family. Others are swarming the happy couple with questions about how he asked and when she’s due. You handed Posy off to Ashton then disappeared out by the pool to get some fresh air, Luke wasn’t far behind. 

“Hey, hey, c’mere,” he says, pulling you against his chest. You breathe him in deeply, letting his scent calm you down. “It’s okay…”

“I’m happy for them, I really am,” you sniff. “I love Ella, she’s wonderful and they’re going to be great parents but I--”

“I know, it’s hard,” Luke sighs, kissing your head. “We won’t give up, okay? I know it’ll happen, I can feel it.”

**

On Christmas morning you’re woken to Lily and Posy jumping on your bed screaming about Santa and presents. You and Luke give them hugs and kisses as you wake up trying to get the sleep from your eyes. 

“How about some cocoa while we open presents?” you ask.

You make the cocoa with the help of the girls while Luke brews a pot of coffee for you and him. It’s six in the morning and it’s going to be a long day of driving and opening presents at other houses. Luke snaps photos while Lily and Posy open their presents. Lily claims to love each one and that it’s exactly what she wanted. 

Luke loves the gifts you gave him and you couldn’t wait to wear the dress he bought you for the day. After breakfast, you all went over to Cory and Ella’s to open presents and you discussed her pregnancy a bit more. After the initial shock, you were excited to see her through this journey. She asked tons of questions about morning sickness and headaches. 

“Are you planning on finding out what you’re going to have?” you ask. 

“I don’t think so. We want to be surprised. You’re sure you’re okay with this, Y/N?” Ella asks, her eyes full of worry. 

“I’m more than happy,” you assure her, “you’re a part of the family. And, I might be biased, but Lily will be the best big sister to your baby.”

“Posy will too,” Ella smiles, “I don’t want her to feel left out, in my mind, they’re both big sisters.”

“You’re right.” 

After Cory and Ella’s you went to Michael and Crystal’s house for more presents and a big fancy dinner of ham and all the fixings. You started to feel a little dizzy towards the end of the meal and went to sit down on the couch. Luke came by rubbing your temples in concern but you told him it was probably just the rush of the day.

Later that night while Lily and Posy placed their new stuffed animals in their beds to sleep with, you were piling their presents in order when another wave of dizziness struck you. You sat down and held your head until it was time to say goodnight to the girls. 

“You sure you’re all right?” Luke asks as you crawl into bed. 

“I’m fine. Just a busy day,” you sigh collapsing onto your pillow. “Speaking of...are you doing anything right now?”

“Going to bed?” he laughs.

You swing your leg over his waist so you’re straddling him. 

“How about doing me?” 

Luke is eager to get you out of your pajamas and under him. Lips and hands explore familiar territory as he rocks his hips into yours. You have to fight to keep your moans quiet as he makes your head dizzy in a completely different way. 

The rest of your vacation was full of lots of relaxation and spending well deserved time with Luke and the girls. You played games with Lily and even took the girls ice skating. By New Year’s Eve, you were feeling a little drained and the thought of alcohol made your stomach turn. There was a babysitter watching Lily and Posy while you went to a rooftop bar for the countdown of the new year. 

You had a blast but in the back of your mind, something was nagging at you to get a pregnancy test. You shared a kiss with Luke at midnight, giggling when his hands squeezed your ass. On the way home, you asked to stop at the drugstore making an excuse you needed more aspirin. 

Once home, you charged for the bathroom and took the three pregnancy tests in the box while Luke talked with the babysitter and paid her. You wait anxiously for the three minutes to be up. When your phone’s alarm sounded, you looked at each one. Each one had the word ‘pregnant’ on the stick and you stared stunned. 

“Lovie? Are you sick?” Luke asks, knocking on the door. 

Too excited to wait, you whip the door open and exclaim “I’m pregnant!”

“You’re--what?” he asks, jumping at the loud burst of the door opening.

“Look!” You drag him in the bathroom pointing to the tests. “I’ve been dizzy lately and feeling queasy...this is why!”

He stares at each test individually, his lips forming the word ‘pregnant’ three times. He lets out a whoop and kisses you. 

“I love you so much. See, I told you it would happen when it’s meant to. What a way to ring in the New Year.”

“Happy New Year, baby,” you smile up at him cupping his cheek.

“Happy New year,” he smiles then places his hand on your belly, “baby.”

Taglist: @calpalirwin​  @thecurlsofgod​ @myloverboyash​ @rotten-kandy​ @tea4sykes​ @jannimoeller3​ @loveroflrh​ @iovehemmings​ @cxddlyash​ @princesslrh​  @katiaw2​ @g-l-pierce​ @fairyintheglass​ @gosh-im-short​ @lukeisbaby @spicycal​ @mysticalhood​ @notinthesameguey​ @wastedheartcth​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @calumance​ @babylon-corgis​ @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​ @lanternlover2​ @istaywithmyjonas​ @calteahood​ @sarcastically-defensive17​ @another-lonely-heart​ @devilatmydoor​ @frontmanash​ @philthepegacorn​ @mantlereid @lukedorkyhemmings​ @addietagglikesbands​ @kikixfandoms @sanrioluke​ @mayve-hems​ @morguelth @haikucal​ @thatscooibaby​ @meghanrose05​ @idontneedanyone​ @dinosaursandsocks @haveufoundwhaturlooking4 @suchalonelysunflower​ @burstintocolor​ @zhangyixingxing1​ @dead-and-golden​ @mymindwide​ @everyscarisahealingplace​ @stardust-galaxies​ @blackbutterfliescal​ @redrattlers​ @lovelybonesetc​ @karajaynetoday​ @quasighost​ @i-like-5sos​ @creampiecashton​ @calpops​ @superbloomed-c​ @ophelia-enthusiast​ @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof​ @flaneurcth​ @dariangarcia​

Baby Blues 1/?

Summary: Chris and Alex have just brought a bubbly baby boy into the world. Now they have to face the most challenging year of their lives.

Chris Evans x Black Reader, OFC!Alex

Warnings: Childbirth, mentions of death (No actual death), anxiety, swearing, Chris as a new dad FLUFF!

A/N: More of a prologue than anything.

~~~~~~~

“Come on, you got this! Just one more!” Chris encouraged

“I can’t!” Alex cried, she knew it was an ugly cry too. She was covered in sweat, muscles she didn’t know she had ached, and she had used every swear word in the book, including a few Romanian ones she learned from Sebastian “I’m fucking tired. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Yes you can baby girl.” He rubbed down Alex’s back “You’re almost there. You’re doing great.”

Two years of dating, two more of marriage and trying to a baby, nine long months of pregnancy and ten longer hours of labor and Alex and Chris were just a strong push away from meeting their son. 

Alex clutched down on Chris’s hand, and took in a huge breath before she pushed again. 

“It’s a boy!” The doctor cheered

Chris looked over to see the wailing newborn and broke out in a smile so wide his cheeks hurt.

“He’s beautiful Al.” he kissed her on top of her head “You did it.”

“Is he okay?” Alex panted 

“He’s perfect.”

“Would you like to cut the cord, Papa?” the nurse asked Chris while handing him a pair of umbilical cord scissors

“Yeah, yeah.” Chris wiped his tears away with the back of his hand before carefully cutting the cord. Once the baby was whisked away to be cleaned, Chris was back to kissing and praising his wife “You were amazing.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely, he’s beautiful, you’re beautiful.”

“I’m a sweaty mess.”

“So I’ll run around the block a few times, we’ll both be sweaty.”

“Congratulations.” the first nurse returned and lowered the fussing bundle into Alex’s arms

“Oh Chris, look at him.” Alex cooed, the baby began to settle a bit, only fussing when exposed to the cold air of the hospital room “Hi sweetie, I’m your momma. He’s just the most beautiful baby ever.”

“He looks like his mom.” Chris slid on the bed next to her

“Oh please, he looks like you. I don’t know why you’re so against naming him after you, a little Christopher Jamal Evans.”

Chris laughed “I think he looks more like a Levi.”

“We can’t name him after jeans.” Alex pouts 

A simple but complicated decision, Alex and Chris went back and forth between names for the last two months. Nothing sounded right to Alex, except for Christopher Evans Jr., and Chris wanted to give the baby his own, independent, name. Or whenever they did come up with a name, the initials would spell something out like “PEE”, “DIE” or “ICE” Now that their baby was here, the choice was even harder than before.

“Benjamin?” Chris tried

“No, Cooper?” Alex scrunched her nose

“Cooper the pooper?” 

“Yeah, that doesn’t work either.” Alex sighed “What is your name baby boy?”

Chris watched Alex gently whisper and rock the newborn “How about Alexander?”

“You wanna name him after me?”

“Yeah, why not?” He suggested “You did most of the work anyways.”

She paused “Alexander... Christopher Evans.” The newborn fussed loudly, Alex smiled “I think he likes it.”

“Okay then,” Chris happily agreed “Alexander Christopher Evans, it is.”

“Great name.” The nurse jotted it down “Oh how cute, his initials spell out Ace.”

Chris and Alex laughed as quietly as possible to keep from disturbing the sleeping newborn.

“It’s better than ‘PEE’.” Alex shifted him gently in her arms “You’re turn to hold him.”

Chris cradled his son close to his chest, tears threatening to fall over again. Alex laid back against her pillow and listen to Chris hum ‘Return to Pooh Corner’, a sleepy smile on her face.

“You’re a Dad now, Chris.”

“And you’re a Mom.” He smiled back at her “Get some rest, we’ll be fine.”

Alex didn’t have to be told twice, once she was comfortable enough sleep over took her, but only for about thirty minutes until she had to feed. Chris stepped out to wake up everyone in his contact list and tell them how Alex and the baby were doing.

“My Mom is gonna come by first thing in the morning.” He whispered “And your parents send their love. They’re already demanding pictures and even said they’ll sign a NDA if it makes us happy.”

The two of them had agreed not to post any baby pics until later on. The two of them weren’t comfortable with letting online trolls give their unwanted opinions on their baby. Especially not after they first came out as a couple. Most comments came from vengeful (alleged) Marvel fans that threatened to boycott Chris’ movies if he didn’t break up with Alex. Others came from Alex’s (former) fans that claimed she didn’t belong to the Black community anymore since she was dating Chris. The last thing they needed were those same hateful, comments under any pictures of their son.

“They can get all the pictures they want.” Alex softly stroked the small hairs on her son’s head

“How are you feeling?” Chris asked 

Alex sighed “Happy- and a little nervous. He’s so small, and fragile. Is it wrong that I wanna stick him in a protective bubble?”

“Of course not baby girl. I feel the same way.” Chris watched in adoration while his wife rocked their son back to sleep. He couldn’t help the small, negative thoughts that popped into his head.

When Alex first told him that she was pregnant his first negative thought was “What if there’s a miscarriage?”. Even with numerous doctor appointments, research and reassurance from his both his wife and therapist, Chris wasn’t able to shake off that fear until seeing his son in the doctor’s arms. But now he was terrified of doing something wrong. “What if he stops breathing at night?” “What if he’s allergic to the baby food we give him and we don’t catch it?” “Am I gonna accidentally drop him? Forget him the backseat of the car on a hot day?” “What if he gets kidnapped?” Chris couldn’t stop the run away train of disasters in his brain.

Alex touched the crease forming on her husband’s brow.

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you think we’re ready for this? Being parents?”

“A bit late to ask that question don’t you think?” Alex hoped her joke would ease Chris’s anxiety “When my mom had me, she relied on her instinct. Then she had my brother, and relied on prior experience. When my brother and his wife had their first kid they relied on the books. And even now, they go on about how much they were blindsided by everything within the first year alone.”

She caressed Chris’s cheek with her free hand. “We got this.”

A soft smile cleared away the frown lines on Chris’s face. The amount of love he had for his wife at this moment couldn’t be put into words. Her ability to find the silver lining in every situation was just one of the reasons Chris fell in love with her in the first place. They pulled each other out of their dark places, comforting each other and erasing any sign of doubt they might’ve had about anything.

He leaned over to give her a soft kiss on the lips “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Alex turned to their, now awake, son. He stared at them with soft brown eyes, his tiny eyebrows scrunched up “And I love you.”

“We both love you, Ace.” Chris tickled his son’s exposed foot

“Ace.” Alex tried out the nickname “Oh no.”

“What?”

“’Ace is the place with the helpful hardware folks’.” she half sang the jingle and giggled

Wildflower // C.H

(credits to the owner of the picture)

Pairing : Calum Hood x Female Reader.

Warnings : Smut, things are getting hot and heavy so take a seat. Swearing and fluff.

Words : 2.5k.

Inspired by : Wildflower by 5sos, duh. And Calum’s pink hair and also a Bad Bunny’s song called A Tu Merced and his videos that he’s been posting with his girlfriend.

a/n : I wrote this today so all mistakes are mine. Feedback is more than welcome. Love y’all and stay at home if you can, stay safe and take care.

"Calum what have you been doing this quarantine?" Calum read the sticker question on his Instagram story while he did the video for the answer.

"Well, not too much to be honest" he said with his raspy morning voice and with his notorious aussie accent. "I'm watching tons of tv shows that I left in the middle, taking the sun, believe it or not baking a lot so also exercise so at the end of this I'm not a ball so yeah".

"Do you have in mind your next hair color?" the question said. He was using a cap since he is recording the videos in the patio. It was a sunny day and people could noticed the glow the sun and maybe another thing was making on his skin. "Actually I did something the other day, I had another color and yesterday I changed it to this one I don't think you guys want to see it" he said removing the cap pointing at his blonde hair.

He answered a couple of questions related to the upcoming album releasing soon and then he said goodbye. "K' guys I'm gonna start my day, hope everyone is okay and please stay home. Love ya' and take care".

+

He didn't mean it to film this video for his social media and he had in mind to keep it to himself but he wanted to change that and posting anyways since everyone is doing something to show that we are in this together and just to goof around. He is always been so quiet when it comes to big things happening around the world and fans didn't like that about them sometimes.

The previous week he was so bored and had no idea what to do next. You and Calum already had breakfast and exercised early in the morning. It was hot outside so you bring up with the idea to be in the pool. He agreed and went upstairs with you to change into your swim suits.

You and Calum have always been a hot couple but keep it reserved to yourselves even when there is no surprise for the rest of the world even when you try to hide it. You were wearing a tiny red bikini that always drives Calum crazy. He had to control himself for not ripping it off, he wanted to enjoy the moment with you.

"Damn mama, you know how much I love you and thank God for this bikini" he said almost frustrated and kissed your neck before he asked you to help him with the sunscreen on his toned back. Then as he was laying on the grass you also applied the product on the back of his legs. You laughed when you remembered that time when last summer he was laying on his stomach all naked taking the sun and helped him with the sunscreen too for his thighs and ass.

After a long time in the sun when it was burning so much you both went to the pool and enjoyed there with music in the background.

"K' time to get out?" Calum asked you while your legs were laced on his waist and your arms around his neck. You nodded at him and with the same position he hold you with his strong arms out the pool. If it is a cold day he would do the same but in the jacuzzi.

During the last weeks you have been listening to Bad Bunny's new album. It is a hot album like he said in an interview that his mom asked him to go to church on sundays. You have been teaching spanish to Calum since you listen to latin artists and know perfectly the language.

You both are always goofing around so he was next to you dancing in the grass. 'La Santa' was playing in the back in the big speakers so you had a whole party for two. He hugged you from behind while you sang the lyrics and when the song ended he lifted you again to sit in the glass table he has in the shadows. He sit in the comfy chair and you take a sit on his lap, both still with wet hair from previous the swimming.

"Ugh, can we take a picture like this, please?" he asked you and let you know he is been dying to freeze this moment with you like this on his lap and your famous bikini. He took more than one and when he checked them he is mesmerized at your natural beauty and gorgeous body. He sent the pictures to you and you teased him how needy he is today.

You took his face in your hands to give him a peck. "What are you thinking, handsome?" you asked him knowing him perfectly he had something.

"I saw a meme about please do not cut your bangs during the quarantine and I was thinking what if I dyed my hair?" he said. You laughed at his childish idea and told him that he is doing exactly the opposite what the meme he saw said.

"And what color do you have in mind?" you said brushing his little curls with your fingers.

"Mmm I don't know why I had a pink tint upstairs" he said thinking while he rested his head on your boobs, still holding your waist.

"Now you have my attention" you said at him. He gave a little kiss to your exposed breast before he stood up to go find the tint.

Once he came back with everything he needed. You offered him to help him.

But, before you could start, 'A Tu Merced' started playing and Calum knows how much you love this one. The song basically says how she has he wrapped around her finger, that is why in the song Bad Bunny sings that he would do anything she asked him.

Calum started filming with his phone with the front camera as he left his phone in the glass table pointing at the back of the patio where you two started dancing closer since it is a little bit slow song, he tried his best and followed your hips while he sang in your ear the chorus of the song in spanish, and when he lost the rhythm he sit again and you came closer to hug him from behind and you buried your head on his neck and kissed his temple. He was fast again to put you back on his lap. "God, I love you baby. Can we spend all of our mornings like this?" he asked while he devised your lips and kissed you. You shifted yourself better to straddle him so you were blocking the view so his phone was recording your back and when Calum grabbed your ass firmly with both hands. Both of you forgot about the phone and got lost in your make out session while the songs keeps playing. Calum took advantage of what he had in front now that you looked taller on his lap and kissed your exposed skin closer to his mouth then he moved his hands up to the side of your boobs where the straps of your bikini rounded your chest. You groaned because the difference of temperature of his hot hands and the cold of his chains against you compared to the coldness of your clothed skin because of the damp bikini.

You kissed him on the lips interlacing your arms around his neck but broke the next move when the song ended and you came back to reality. “Cal, is still recording or you stopped the video?” you asked him referring to what he started what should be how you dyed his hair. Not that you wanted to do a sex tape with him, at least not in the back of the house.

“Fuck” he jumped and stopped the video immediately. You hid your red face on his neck and laughing at how you both were a mess. You protested at him to not see the video now, you were still embarrassed but he did it anyways and praised you at how amazing and hot you looked on top of him.

“You should keep the video, ya’ know if you miss me on tour” you winked at him and you felt his bulge against your clothed sex. He suggested to move on to dye his hair before he make love to you right there. 

You know he is not going to show the video to anyone and you kinda liked the take from that angle when you saw it.

Now, without distractions Calum was recording the process for his new hair color. “Day one thousand of quarantine, we are going to dye my hair” he said to the camera like youtubers doing a tutorial. He introduced you and you started doing what he wanted so you put the gloves and dyed his hair, the video was really funny and his final reaction of the result was hilarious. He was in the bathroom looking at the mirror still with the towel around his neck. “Don’t try this at home, I look like Nicki Minaj but in a bad way” he joked. 

During the rest of the day you couldn’t stop running your fingers through his pink hair. It looks amazing on him even when you miss the black curls and even more his afro and you let him know that he looks so handsome. 

Once he finished a live stream with Luke (but hiding his hair with the hoodie) on Instagram he went upstairs to get ready for bed. He looked so cuddly with his white cream hoodie and just boxers. He gave you a look, open wide eyes when he found you were wearing the empathy hoodie that he found the last week, and your black lace panties.

“I think I’m going to make this my wallpaper” he pointed at you his phone and the photo he chose. It was the exact moment of his hands on grabbing your ass and the rest was your back with little drops of sweat and water. You hid your red face and laugh on his neck at how shameless he is. "What?! We are staying at home just the two of us, it is not like someone or the guys are going to see your beautiful curves as my background" he said but definitely when the quarantine ended in a future he forgot to change the wallpaper so everyone he knows saw it, even the paps or fans when he walked in the streets and were holding his phone unlocked and cameras did catch what picture he has.

"You are playing a dangerous game, Hood" you looked at him daring him that this game can be played by two.

"Uh yeah?" he bit his lower lip and put down his phone on the nightstand as he got closer, his hands have been always curious so he dug them under his hoodie that you were wearing and for his surprise of your bare chest already. He positioned himself on top of you as you melted into the mattress. He supported his right arm by your side while the left one lifted the green hoodie to show your breasts. He licked all the way up from your stomach to your nipples, you moaned at his warm breath against your skin and arched your back when he played with your nipples. You managed to take off your hoodie so he could continue with his way now kissing your neck where he left hickeys and later you are going to notice that he left in your breasts too.

"I'm going to choose a turtleneck sweater if I want to facetime my family tomorrow" you said thinking of your next move. Got it. "What if we end what we started earlier in the pool?" you asked him with a playful grin.

"What do you have in mind? you know I'm all yours, baby girl" he said lifting his brows making you laugh.

"Ya' know like a hotter video than we did accidentally before I dyed your hair" you could feel how he got even harder against your panties and you love that you have that effect on him. You and Calum are very open mind when it comes to your privacy, it is another topic that he plays an angel role in public.

"Oh my goodness baby girl you are already the death of me" he jumped off the bed to settle his phone so the view were your bodies but from your left side so both of you can see your figures. He took off his clothes and turned off the lights so the moon light is illuminating your bodies.

You were thinking to take care of him but he had other idea. He let you know that tonight was all for you and he wanted to hear you calling out his name with no shame.

After the first round and you both were breathing hardly enjoying and waiting for your waves of pleasure after reaching your highs to pass. "Are you down for another round?" he asked you kissing your chain he gave you for Valentines day. You admired him and softly brushed his pink hair backwards, you got a little bit of the tint in your fingertips since he is so sweaty. Calum was looking down at you too, taking his time looking your features amazed of your beauty and your curves he was touching carefully, god he loves you so much. Despite your or his previous relationships, he talks for himself that you are the only who make him feel like this.

"What are you looking?" you grinned at him after his admiration.

"Nothing baby, I just love you so fucking much" he said putting your hair off your face.

"I love you too" you said, it was the most honest and tender moment you exchanged.

He was going down again to make love to you twice that night. When his fingers landed close your pussy you jumped because you were still so sensitive. He started kissing you from head to toe before he ate you out, king of oral sex. And when again you reached your orgasm and his name left your mouth loud and clear. 

He went up to kiss your skin and give attention to your side boob tattoo. It is a wildflower tattoo, not to big but when that piece of your skin is exposed it caught everyone attention.

"My wildflower" he said in a lusty voice like if he was eating his favorite meal when he kissed your tattoo. And that’s it, that’s how he got the inspiration for the song, plus he is going to have his pink hair for a couple of days that you let him clear that you love it. And he just posted on his account a short video when you dyed his hair because the rest of the video and pictures and the video from the previous night it is just for you and him.

Shoot the Ball (Ushijima x Reader) Ko-Fi request

Guuuurl can I please get like a bunch of accidental run in encounters with ushiwaka plssss I feel like he doesn’t get much love

Here’s the problem with a school like Shiratorizawa.

It’s a big school.

Fucking huge.

Massive campus yet elite, trimmed student body with a very personal class average of students to teachers. Private tutors are offered in every nook and cranny of the libraries, and the dorms are luscious and extravagant.

Unknown to many of your classmates but most of your team members are aware, you got into Shiratorizawa on a favor from your childhood kyudo coach and a hefty scholarship you had to claw your way towards over a bunch of other studious bookworms. 

You’re the leading star on Shiratorizawa’s kyudo club, the ochi from your tachi group, the last person to shoot, the person who guides the rest of the team. You also hold the position of captain in your third year at Shiratorizawa, and kyudo is all you have ever known and love.

But, but, but, but, at a school like Shiratorizawa where a classic, high performance sport like kyudo, a traditional, beautiful sport like kyudo should be fairly popular, your club and your teammates’ performances are always outshone by more high-energy, easily watchable sports.

Shiratorizawa’s sports expect nothing but the highest level of triumphs from all their divisions. From basketball to dressage on horse, each club is required to perform admirably. If you perform well, the more funding you got for your club, the more prestige, and all good things.

Shiratorizawa’s kyudo club is actually high on the list, last year your team placed first at the Inter High and made it to the top four in nationals. Despite all this, despite the fact that you even scored consecutive kaichus, hitting all your marks and not missing a single arrow, making waves in the kyudo community and getting higher renown for your team, your headmaster still refused to acknowledge your club.

You’d come to him, white headband tied around your head, posters ready, armed and prepared to fight tooth and nail for an increase in funds and a spot at advertisements because if your fellow student body just knew about the sport, more people would join, more people would watch, and your club wouldn’t be in danger of closing down after you graduate or declining—

“It’s just not popular!” your headmaster clapped you over the shoulders himself, beaming. “Keep working hard though! Good job last year!”

Because popular and television-worthy, massive poster worthy, constant overhead announcements in the morning and the afternoon about matches, constant offered opportunities for extra credit, belong to certain sports at Shiratorizawa.

Shiratorizawa’s Boys’ Volleyball team.

Every morning you came to school and stared in disgust, not out of a personal vendetta for the guy, but for his whole damn team for taking the spotlight for the past three years you’d been here at Shiratorizawa, at the giant, blown up poster lining your school’s walls, posted in any classroom you two might have together. He flooded the school’s daily bulletin, online articles, even the god damn konbini near your house when your returned home for the holidays.

Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Volleyball star, playing for Japan’s national youth team—which was something you did drool over because nationals was your goal for kyudo—and even top of all his classes.

You kinda hated this guy and you didn’t even know him.

But it was no matter because this year you planned to take your team all the way to the top. Everyone at this damn rich school was going to known kyudo and love it, damn it. They were going to sing your praises all the way down the halls, line up outside the shooting range to get a peek at your beautiful team and fall in love with the bow.

All the way to the same stage this rich, boastful school’s especial crowning achievment and pride, enough to get them their own stupid bus, enough to get them their own damn gym, enough to get them their own damn cheer squad and—

Your first real, personal meeting with Ushijima Wakatoshi goes something like this:

I don’t need more protein, I need better results. You frowned, staring at the picture of the protein drink you’d been texted that was apparently quite popular these days, according to your fellow teammate. She constantly sang its praises, promising nothing but the best and urging you to start getting into it.

“Your practice schedule is too rigid!” she lectured, shaking her hands at you as you notched another arrow and took aim. “You’re going to shoot arrows till you’re an old maid! No one will marry you at this rate!”

“Kyudo will marry me,” you said, completely serious. “I’m marrying the best kyudo archer of this era and no one else.”

“He’s over fifty!”

“I like them older anyways.”

While normally you would have ignored your vice captain in favor of your own home remedies, your joints were acting up lately, specifically your left wrist and that was never a good sign. You had a feeling the tautness to the new string you were trying to break in wasn’t doing you any favors either. You needed to keep an eye on it in case it got worse.

I can’t bring this team down.

The school’s mini-grocery was fairly empty at this hour. Most students were back at the dorms and anyone still lingering around should’ve just finished with their own club practices.

The rows were designed so items could be taken from either side, not just one. You browsed the aisle, tempted by the choco-snacks but willing yourself to put another batch of fruits in instead. Have to treat my health like second nature. Results don’t come from potato chips.

“Finally,” your eyes zeroed in on the brightly colored bottle. A hefty size, meant to be poured out in cups and drunk daily. You had no idea how it would taste, but by your vice captain’s face, it couldn’t be too great.

You crouched down, reaching for the last bottle on the lowest row.

A massive hand engulfed yours at the top of the bottle’s cap, swallowing your hand whole.

“Holy shit!” you shrieked, ripping your hand away—only to find yourself unable to do so with the massive hand still laid down over yours. You hit the floor on your ass, gaping in horror at the monstrous palm and the calloused fingers and fearing this was finally the moment you were dragged into some abyss by an unknown creature and killed—

Eyes like olives, flecked with gold.

You stared, caught, unable to move for a second. You’d always thought his eyes were brown. You never noticed the weird lining to them that gave them a sharper look, like an eagle or—

“My bad,” Ushijima. Ushijima Wakatoshi said, his voice a deep, resounding rumble in his chest like a goddamn bear. 

He crouched there, sitting back on his heels, directly across the aisle from you, peering through the metal shelf like some kind of monster trying to fit through a crack. His massive hand and massive arm barely had to leave his body to reach the same bottle of protein you’d both been shooting for. 

Ushijima Wakatoshi.

All at once, the flood of posters assaulted your brain. The blaring announcements, the squealing girls, the headmaster, the volleyball buses with his face printed on the side, the magazines, the articles and—

You blinked, once, twice.

His lips parted.

You ripped your hand out from under his with a hefty amount of force. The action sent you flat on your back and you were sure he’d gotten a front row view of under your skirt but you really didn’t give a crap.

“Have it!” you barked out, awkwardly scrambling to your feet. You grabbed your basket and Ushijima blinked once at you, slowly, face monotonous. “You need it more anyway, jerk!”

You huffed, shoulders puffing up. Ushijima was silent on the other side of the aisle, wordlessly taking the bottle of protein with him as he stood.

You gaped.

HE’S A LIVING TREE.

Your neck actually craned a bit, straining to look up at him and he stared down at you from the top of the aisle.

His arm promptly stuck itself through the gap in the shelf, offering the drink to you.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, voice devoid of emotion. “You should take it.”

For some reason that irked you.

You forcefully—struggling with great difficulty—shoved the drink back to his side through the shelves. Ushijima blinked once, slow down at you and you bared your teeth at him before hoisting your basket up into your arm and storming to the check out where you flew through your wallet, aggressively paying the lady at the counter, nearly running into a smirking redhead at the doorway and rushing the rest of the way to your dorm where people kept asking why you looked so damn mad.

“Who was that?” Tendou chirped, sidling up to Ushijima. “A fan?”

Ushijima stared out the still swinging door and calmly examined the bottle of protein in his hand.

“No,” he said.

“...you gonna continue with the sentence or what?” Tendou prodded.

I hate this time of the year. You frowned, burrowing deeper into your muffler as you fought the early morning chill. Several other students were trudging beside you, sleep in their eyes as you all headed to the regular meeting for club time slots. You always showed up as early as possible to get the best dibs for your club. 

You absently kicked a pebble in your way, wondering how you should organize practice this week. You wanted to brush up on your form again and—

Why was everyone looking at you like that?

“Good morning.”

It took you a moment to realize a massive shadow had engulfed your own. You stared at your feet for a moment, rubbing your eyes before slowly turning.

Ushijima Wakatoshi bore down on you, face cast in dark shadows from the early morning darkness, puffs of steam clouding by his mouth where he breathed.

He looked like a monster.

You felt your hackles raise, nearly jumping out of your sneakers as you started to backpedal away from him, “Hah?”

“Good morning,” Ushijima said, looking completely unfazed by the crack of dawn and cold.

You continued to hurry backwards toward the gym while barking back at him as Ushijima took calm steps forward—since you were both headed the same way—every three of your steps one of his own.

To anyone else, it looked as though a bear were advancing on a chihuahua.

“G-Good morning to you too!” you snapped. “Bye!”

“What?” Ushijima asked.

“I said bye you—”

“We’re still headed the same way.”

“Stop following me then!”

 - - - - - - - - 

You smirked, hefting the pile of posters into your arms. This was it, this was going to work for sure. No way anyone could ignore the please join flyers if you were pinning them up all around the school, and the team had worked hard to make it stand out and eye catching, appealing to all genders and interests.

Your wrist was starting to bother you a bit, so you shifted the papers to the other arm. I got careless trying to get the bow turn again. I need to slow it down and ice it tonight.

Who says we’re last on the funding list? You grinned, grabbing your tape. They can’t ignore us with a bunch of members—

“Good afternoon.”

You screeched, dropping your stack of flyers onto your foot. They scattered the hallway.

Ushijima calmly turned his gaze downwards, staring at the colorfully illustrated flyers now flooding both your feet.

Join the kyudo club!

“You,” you snapped, urging your heart to calm and shoving your tape back into your pocket. You hurried, grabbing the flyers and restacking them as he stood, towering above you. “What the heck do you want? Do you get some kind of kick out of scaring people or—”

In one smooth, swift motion, Ushijima had crouched down beside you. You stared, gaping in disbelief as his large hands—he has such big hands, I’ve never seen anyone with hands that big, this guy is all muscle and—moved across the floor, gathering up the papers in one fell swoop. His bangs shifted slightly over the slight furrow of his brows. 

Ushijima looked at you, quiet, somber, unreadable as he carefully put your stack back together.

He looked weird in the school uniform. You were so used to seeing him in his volleyball one. He seemed like a different person. Oh, you’re the type that leaves the first button undone.

“I did not mean to scare you,” he said, slow, with that rumbling voice of his. It sent a timbre down your spine.

Ushijima remained silent, staring calmly at you, seemingly content with the silence.

“Y-Yeah, well,” you started. “My bad then.”

You quickly stood, lifting your stack. You stared down at Ushijima for once as he calmly looked up at you and promptly ran off without another word, unable to figure out the weird awkwardness that sat on your tongue whenever you dealt with him.

I mean, it’s not like I really… hate him right?

Why the hell am I running into him so much?

You just needed to shoot some arrows and you’d feel a lot better.

-----------

You shot too many arrows.

You frowned at your throbbing wrist, giving it a look of utter betrayal. The nurse had said to give her a few minutes for her to come back with some pain killers. You were only in the infirmary this time because the pain had gotten to a point where you’d actually dropped your bow in the middle of a draw.

Prelims are coming up. You glared harder at your wrist. You just needed to ice it and you’d feel better. I can’t let them down.

You were taking them straight to the top and then it’d be kyudo posters this school would see, not just stupid Ushijima’s face and—

“(L/n)-san.”

You screeched, nearly toppling off your stool. Your wrist smacked into the counter and you hissed in pain, tears pricking the corner of your eyes.

Ushijima stood in the doorway of the infirmary, staring at you with furrowed brows.

Why him, why now? You grunted in greeting, gingerly rubbing your throbbing wrist, turning away from him toward the window.

You heard the door close behind him, focusing all your attention on anything else to ignore the massive presence behind you.

“What happened?”

WHY IS HE TALKING TO ME. 

“Oh, this and that,” you said simply, vaguely, struggling to find better words. You… you really didn’t hate this guy personally or anything, but it was personal at the same time? You didn’t know how you felt about him and it was making you confused.

You hated being confused.

Ignoring any and all other social cues, Ushijima took a seat on the stool beside you, back and posture impeccable. His hands calmly set on his knees. His volleyball uniform like second skin against his form, revealing nothing but miles of muscle and hardwork.

You stared at him in disbelief.

Ushijima faced forward, face unreadable.

….okay. You awkwardly glanced to the side, rubbing at your wrist. Way to make it even more awkward. Does this guy not socialize much or what?

“Uh,” no! Don’t talk to him! Just keep your mouth shut! “What happened to you?” you said awkwardly.

Ushijima’s face relaxed an inch. You blinked in surprise.

“My knee,” he said. “Coach made me go get it checked out.”

“...me too,” you said. He looked at you. You looked away. “Not my knee, I mean. My wrist. My vice captain will have my head if I didn’t. I told her I could just ice it.”

“You should be more careful,” Ushijima said.

You looked at him. He looked at you.

“I’m sorry?”

“You do not need to apologize.”

You stared.

Ushijima motioned to your wrist, not taking his eyes off your face, “Your fans would be disappointed if you were unable to perform.”

“I-I’m sorry?”

“You do not need to apologize,” Ushijima said again, shaking his head. You gaped at him. “I would be disappointed. I wish to see your kaichu again.”

Your brain short-circuited. You were left to dumbly look at Ushijima. He seemed to take pity on you and turned fully on his stool, several heads taller, looking down at you before he calmly said—

“I am a fan of your archery.”

The two of you sat there in silence.

Steam shot out of your ears as your face exploded into red. Ushijima watched in silence as you toppled over your stool and back onto the ground.

- i also stan one giant tree

Good Raven Chapter 1. Cofio — Remembering

July, 1995

As I unpack my trunk in the dusty, dingy room above the shop where my uncle, two brothers and two sisters live, I feel the slight dread of not knowing where my future will lead.  I’m of age now and done with school, so finding work and avoiding trouble should be my first worries, but it ain’t just me I have to worry about. I can’t let the babanod grow up here for much longer — it’s eaten them and me for three years already.

We live in Knockturn Alley, the street off of lovely Diagon Alley where all of the things your decent witches and wizards won’t meddle in are sold; bought; traded or just plain found. In my uncle’s shop is sold potion ingredients, and because this is Knockturn Alley, they’re not normal ingredients — poisons; live creatures; contraband that he (Uncle) said if I ever told someone about he’d hex me for 7 years straight. He also threatened to feed me on only cold gruel if I sold anything cheap, ‘cause once I was all moved in those three years ago he was leaving me at the counter to haggle and sell while he went off to the Cauldron for drinks, or Borgin’s to try and buy even more nasty supplies to bring back to his own business.

I should be honest when I talk about the things we sell — they’re rather compelling. It’s a bit exciting to know that the fungi you’re holding (with a handkerchief that’s been charmed to keep the nerves in your hand from suddenly burning and losing all function) are one: that bloody dangerous and two: can put you on the ministry’s list of “Most Dark and Dangerous in Illicit Magical Trade”. Some of the things that the Ministry comes up with!

As interesting as my uncle’s business can be, me and the kids need our own place to live. It’s just too, well, dark in this alley. Ninety nine percent of the people who come through this place are just trying to get their business done; do their shopping — however ill-intentioned it may be — and go home, but that one percent that’s not so good is too noticeable for any decent body to want to raise four little ones here. I’ve been followed by a hag who wanted my fingernails (taken from a living witch or wizard, they’re more useful); groped by warlocks both drunken and sober; sang at by more drunken warlocks (some ditty with lyrics like “I once had a lass with a nice round ass” and it got even nastier) and I’ve even seen duels that ended up in the Prophet! One time, a curse missed its intended target and hit an old wizard who was just trying to get home with the flesh-eating slug repellent he’d bought! The poor old grandpa! I hope he lived.

I go into the smaller room across the hall where the boys sleep and of course Llon’s trunk is sitting wide open on the bed he and Afon, who’s only three, share. I see his rumpled up belongings and I know he scrambled to find his wand as soon as he got up here; I hid it in his trunk as soon we boarded the train to come back for his first summer holiday (and the rest of my life) so he wouldn’t try any last minute jinxes. Sometimes I’m amazed at how easily he obeys me, then again his most vivid experience with a female relative other than me is of Mam throwing him outside at night — all night — so she could drink and have a shag with that big warlock she came home with. He was nine, I was 15 and we were all lucky that it was spring holiday so’s I was home.  I don’t know how they found out, but when the ministry officials who deal with family problems came a’visiting two days later, I was able to convince them to let the kids remain at Mam’s house so long as I was allowed to be there, courtesy of the school and a satisfied ministry witch. I had to write and beg Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore himself to let me skip a few weeks. I remember feeling quite touched when the first two came to visit, a ministry witch in tow. I don’t think Dumbledore even considers his students well-being outside of Hogwarts.

Professor Snape was my head of house — good ol’ Slytherins looking out for each other — and I distinctly recall the feeling I had when I greeted him and McGonagall at the door that he’d been waiting for something like this to occur. You get that feeling when he looks at you sometimes - that he knows things about you.

I had expected McGonagall to be much less kinder than she actually was — more grave and pitying. She was certainly that way with Mam, “Eira, what have you gotten yourself and your family into?!”

Snape mostly sat all stiff in the chair I’d offered, his spidery black eyes glancing everywhere they could, taking in my raggedy siblings, Mam’s wan expression and the Welsh words doodled haphazardly on our cottage’s stone walls. Words like cariad — love — which had a bright pink heart drawn beside it and calon which had an arrow pointing from it to the rosy heart.

Witch, Welsh and Slytherin. That’s me. Even my name is Welsh, though my dad is English (obviously, my surname is Burke after all): Branda — brân dda — raven good; Good Raven. I have a middle name that isn’t Welsh at all, though; Patreva. Something Latin like what so many of our kind in Britain have — names like Draco, Severus or my Tad’s name, “Nicander” which may actually be Greek. It’s fancy and magical sounding. I’m the only one of my parent’s brood with any name like that — something about a Naming Seer who suggested it for me, but they never went back for their other four kids’s names. The younger ones have a Welsh name and that’s it. I like Welsh names quite a lot, though. Some of the names wizarding parents give their children are too — well — ostentatious is a good word.

Anyway, McGonagall, Snape and the quiet little ministry witch with the clipboard came to a decision: I could stay at home with Mam and the kids while the school year continued as long as one: Mam wasn’t bringing her “gentlemen friends” home anymore and two: I would take remedial lessons in all core classes the following school year.

“Of course, you will receive some lessons by post this spring and over the summer, miss Burke.” McGonagall can be so caring, sometimes.

“Your head of house has stated that you are among the more reliable students at Hogwarts, miss Burke.”

The little ministry witch hadn’t spoken at all to me, only to Mam and to my professors, but now she was gazing at me with what I believe was meant to be a placating — if somewhat sharp — look.

“He says you are quite skilled in his potions class as well as in mentoring the younger students.”

The look on Professor Snape’s face suggested this was meant to be unspoken. I’ve never had problems with Snape; he’s certainly a terror to many (okay, most) students, but he’s only ever had clipped praises or short orders for me to teach the first years how to behave without their parents around to guide them and comfort them and all that. A lot of the prefects were shite at that kind of thing.

Life at Mam’s with the kids was alright for awhile — could’ve probably gone quite tolerably if she hadn’t gone off to the Leakey Cauldron and met some bloke who took her to his flat in wherever-the-hell-it-was. Whatever they did in those six days she was gone, it was bad enough that he went to Azkaban, but not interesting enough for the Daily Prophet to report on. Mam got off, but us kids had to go live with the only relative who was willing to take us — Tad’s second-or-something cousin whom he’d done business with before Mam kicked him out: Mr. Donius Burke, purveyor of dark and illicit potion ingredients since 1974.

Fuck.

***

“Oi, girl! Come down here now! I need you for something!”

Calm down old man, I haven’t finished folding my jumpers yet. I shouldn’t be surprised that he’s already got a task for me, even though I’ve only been off the train for two hours. Sunset’s nearly come, and I don’t want to be outside in Knockturn Alley after dark, which ought to spur me faster down the stairs to see what he wants. Making him wait can feel too good though - not that he’s not willing to stomp his way up here which, as I put my last woolen top away, I can hear him doing. Thump, creak; thump creak; the ancient wooden steps groaning loudly as always. Has he still not fallen through them?!

“Are you going deaf?!”

I turn my head to look at him there, his reedy frame silhouetted from the dim light of the hallway. He hasn’t changed in the ten months since I’ve last seen him, and he hasn’t since we arrived here three years ago; grey hair slicked back, his aging face freakishly smooth without a hint of stubble (does he shave, or did he magic the hairs off?).

Before I can say anything he’s stepped into the room to stand over me.

“Get down there, now!”

He points his finger so forcefully that it’s curving up towards the ceiling, and I have to keep myself from glancing up to see if it’ll confuse him. He follows me out of the bedroom and down to the back of the shop, where Llon and the other two kids are on the floor playing with Mouser, the cranky black cat we keep to eat any mice or cockroaches in the the building.

Gwenyn is nine and has long blonde hair like Mam, round hazel eyes and a pink mischievous face. Next to her is five year-old Ffionwyn, who’s brown hair will turn nearly black like Tad’s and mine someday. For now, her head’s as shiny as a chestnut, with a pale face and a shifty quietness about her - probably because she’s been growing up in this dark hole of a place.

“Here”. A small roll of parchment is pressed into my hand.

“Take this to Aunt Onyxia, she’s been expecting it all day.”

He nods his head towards the children - “You can bring back the other one, as well.”

Of course, he’s talking about Afon, the youngest of the family. Three, dark haired and quiet like Ffionwyn, he had to come here when he was just four months old! Unwilling to keep a baby where his customers could hear him crying, Uncle struck a deal with the ministry officials who’d arranged for his guardianship — he would have to remain the legal guardian of Afon, but would be allowed to shunt him off to another adult so long as they were nearby and had no criminal record — a relative preferred. Enter Aunt Onyxia, Uncle Donius’s first cousin.

Onyxia Burke runs a “gift” shop right at the end of Knockturn Alley where she sells candles, cheap jewelry and clothing items, all of which are enchanted for various purposes; making someone fall in love with you; manipulating another’s dreams; even changing their moods or emotions. I hope she’s been keeping Afon away from her shit.

As I step through the door of my uncle’s shop into the balmy night air, I glance up at the old wooden sign hanging above the door: “Apothecary” it reads, surrounded by engraved bats, spiders and toads. I force a heavy breath through my nose as memories come creeping up again, for we used to sell those things — well, Mam ‘n Tad did - before everything went to Hell.

Mam ‘n Tad were gatherers and procurers of potion ingredients. Magical plants and animals, of course, some of which you must have a special permit to collect, but also things that are not so magical — bats, rats and adders; green things that grow in your back garden like nettles and dandelions; even farm animals like chickens and goats, the latter of which produce bezoars —hard stones that form in their gut and which counteract poisons.

Things that could not be grown or raised near our home (a dragon in the barn might’ve been a bit troublesome) we would search for. This was the best part of my family’s livelihood. Tad would research where things could be found, and we would gather our equipment and head off to some chosen spot ready to work.

He taught me to do many things without magic, which I never knew was unusual for our kind —until I went to Hogwarts. Nobody else knew how to butcher a chicken or start a fire without a wand (except maybe a few muggleborns, but even most of them didn’t know how, either)! My classmates didn’t seem to know what to make of me until the incident with Hagrid’s giant chicken.

One of Hagrid’s roosters had grown to a rather impressive size, comparable to that of a Shetland pony (he had to have charmed it somehow). Well, one day it managed to escape the coop and terrorize the courtyard where all of us first years were learning broom maintenance. Madam Hooch was knocked over before she even saw it, and a boy called Derrick attempted to scare it by kicking it away, his robed arms flapping all around him whilst yelling at it to go away. Unfortunately, Drumsticks now thought Derrick was trying to start a real cock-fight — chest to chest, wings flapping and spurs kicking!

Before it finished its little war-dance with his head bobbing low, neck-feathers puffed out trembling, I’d managed to grab one of the brooms off the work table; as soon as Drumsticks began to step towards Derrick I ran towards that overgrown alarm-clock and jabbed it as hard as I could with that broomstick!

I won’t say it was a smart idea, but the frustration I’d felt over those first weeks at school — people giggling behind their hands when I spoke in my Welsh accent; discovering that students in other houses whom I’d wanted to befriend would scoff at the idea of hanging around with a Slytherin — seemed to take hold of me. It felt good when the broom’s handle hit Drumsticks’ chest, shocking him backwards and confusing him so. It’s likely a good thing that Hooch had finally recovered herself enough to properly stun that scaly-footed bastard before I’d lost my mind completely — that broomstick was starting to feel like a skewer.

Dinner that evening consisted of a hearty chicken soup, platters of little chicken pies, mashed potatoes, boiled peas and fresh, steamy bread rolls on the side.

Oh, and most everyone in my year stopped calling me “Spleens”.

Tad had been bi— Tad had been given the boot by Mam by the the time I’d started school, and in the summers I’d been the one to continue most of the hunting work while Mam settled herself with tending the garden and foraging for plants. Mam knew the work alright, but she’d mainly been the one to keep records of what was brought home; researching the markets and packaging items properly. Didn’t take long for Tad’s absence to start its work on her though, did it? A little kid can only hunt so many kinds of creatures, and of course I couldn’t have a permit to collect things like doxy venom or dragon eggshells, nor could I travel more than a few miles from home.

Soon the goats were sold to another ingredi-wizard, then any magical plants in our garden that required consistent tending died. I didn’t understand how that could’ve happened, not at the time anyway. Mam was good at hiding her drinking back then. Since we were no longer able to provide the great amount of products as before, businesses started abandoning us for more reliable resources.

Sometimes — just every once in awhile — Tad would show up for a visit.

“Only a few days” I imagine Mam whispering harshly, fearfully, her eyes darting ‘round as though expecting whatever forces demanded they keep apart to come bursting out of her cottage’s walls.

He always went out to try and gather more for us to sell, did Tad. He didn’t take me anywhere with him that was outside of the county, though. The last time I went with him was at the beginning of summer after my third year at Hogwarts. He looked so much older than I’d remembered, or perhaps I hadn’t paid enough attention during his previous visits? Grey streaks were beginning to shoot through his thick black hair, which hadn’t been cut in years. He walked slower than I was used to, moving like his body had turned all sore and stiff; his head constantly swiveled around as we worked, as though the very land that surrounded us could not be trusted.

“Don’t let your sisters and your brother stay inside all day. Teach them how to look after themselves, better than your mam or I have done for ourselves”.

Until he said that, it hadn’t really occurred to me just how reckless my parents were compared to those of my classmates. Before Tad had been forced to leave, he and Mam had thought little of hauling me, toddling Llon and squalling Gwenyn to all kinds of strange and exciting places — places I now know where most parents wouldn’t allow their children to set foot. When they needed to collect dragon eggshells from high up in the mountains, us kids sometimes went along.

I learned where to find snakes before I was seven; how to untangle wire snares without slicing my wrist open when I was eight. I nearly drowned in a lake searching for plimpys — round little creatures with long legs you can tie together — Tad said that’s how Merpeople deal with them because they consider them pests.

My parents also enjoyed firewhiskey. Many times after we’d spent a long day trekking through bracken for mokes and doxy eggs, or slogging around in muddy ditches for flobberworms, Mam ‘n Tad would build up a fire. We would toast sausages, slices of bread and even apples for supper, while two of them added the throat-burning drink to their meal. I can’t recall the bottle ever not being empty the next morning.

The drinking didn’t interfere with much until after Tad was gone.

It’s a wonder all of us kids have lived to see three.

I worry Afon won’t recognize me, after I’ve stayed all year at Hogwarts instead of returning to the Alley during holidays. I know I have a responsibility to my siblings, but the Triwizard tournament and its accompanying delights were hard to resist. Uncle was furious when I refused to return to work at Christmas, while Onyxia wrote that I should try and catch a wealthy boy from Beauxbatons, though a Durmstranger would do.

By the time I make it to Onyxia’s front door the few glass street lamps holding charmed candles have sprung to life, casting faint and eerie shadows. I’ve only just touched the brass kneazle-head knocker when the door is wrenched open from behind.

“It’s about time - oh, Patreva! I hadn’t realized you’d returned already!”

I curl my lips into the sparest of smiles — it’s often a struggle to remain polite with this woman. Patreva is my middle name, not my real name. I don’t even know what it means, and Mam ‘n Tad always avoided using it.

“Noswaith dda, Modryb. Sut ydych chi?”

The pleasure I feel when I speak Welsh at Onyxia is the same as ever: sweet but all too bloody short.

“Patreva Burke! You know far better than to speak that way, to me!”

As if she understood a word I’ve just said?! She’s convinced that any language other than French or Latin is used to disparage her.

“Llon and I came back a few hours ago, Auntie. Uncle Donius sent me to give you this” - I hand her the roll of parchment - “and to take Afon back with me”.

Onyxia stares at the parchment in her hand, eyes narrowing in obvious displeasure.

“Did he send me no money, girl?”

Uh-oh

“I haven’t stolen it, if that’s what you’re thinking!”

Her eyes have gotten even narrower, if that’s possible.

“No, no girl. I suppose...I should’ve expected as much...this time.”

She isn’t looking at me as she says this, rather she’s gazing nowhere in particular at the space behind me, as if suddenly lost in thought...

“Well, wait here a moment, then. Here’s the boy’s belongings.” Before shuffling down her entryway she reaches down and hands me a midsized bag filled with clothes, children’s medicines and very few toys. No tea to be had in her house, apparently. Rude sow.

“Here you are, girl.” Onyxia appears at the door with my youngest brother in tow, his eyes widening at the sight of me and his fist going to his mouth in an image of absolute preciousness.

“Oooh fy mach i! Fy mrawd cy-“

“Speak English to him!” Shrieks the old hag I am forced to respect. “I had to teach him prop—“

But I’m not staying for her xenophobic rant tonight, and neither is fy mrawd bach — my little brother. He’s had enough, and I’ve had enough.

“Goodnight Auntie! Thank you for taking care of him, we need to go back!”

And with that, Afon and I are trotting up the alleyway and into the warm summer night.

Well, I’m trotting; Afon’s on my back.

I might start posting oneshots on here, like this one. Maybe.

The Queen's Songstress, the Songstress's Queen

Author: Pink

Word Count: 2513

Warnings/Notes: Fluff, Petra Works too Hard, orphans, Dagda OC, implied/mentioned racism, implied homophobia

Prompt: Paired Endings (Intertwined Destinies event from the Fire Emblem Amino)

~♡~

When she had first returned to Brigid, she had acted as a translator for her friend, who despite pleading to join her, knew nothing of the language. 

Now, years later, Dorothea could speak the common language of Brigid as easily as she could Fodlan's. 

"It's because you're such a good teacher, Petra," she teased, after Petra had praised her skills. 

Despite her grandfather's approval, the people of Brigid had been skeptical of their marriage at first. Dorothea's Fodlanese heritage didn't help. Nonetheless, they didn't argue. Their new queen was happy, and that was what mattered.

Now, years later, the people praised them as one of the best pairs of rulers they had. 

Queen Petra worked tirelessly to improve their relationship with Fodlan after declaring independence. Her wife, the Lady Dorothea, used her connections with the Opera to help. It was hard work, but they succeeded eventually. 

Now, Petra lived her life working tirelessly to help her citizens. Everyday she could be found holding public hearings to address their problems, or in her room, signing paperwork, and on some occasions in a meeting, dealing with the other nobles. It was tiring work, but she would endure it for her kingdom.

Dorothea had built an Opera house in the capital city of Brigid, after extensively studying the nature of Brigid's fine arts and music. She ran the place on her own, wrote their plays, and held weekly singing practices that were open to all, where people could gather and and sing together. Her troupe became famous throughout not only Brigid, but Fodlan as well, eventually even receiving audiences from Dagda and Almyra. 

Today in particular had been a hard day. 

The queen had visitors not only from Fodlan, but from Almyra and Dagda as well. The meeting had been… tiring, to say the least. Seeing an old classmate again after so long on strictly professional terms had been… difficult, the man from Almyra was beefy, and loud, which was a stark contrast to the noble from Dadga, who was posh and professional.

Petra had collapsed into her desk chair after the meeting.

Dorothea had been laying on their bed, humming. Her day had been rough as well, having to deal not only with racist participants in the day's open singing practice, but also guide visitors from the foreign countries in the song. Though she had seen one familiar face, it had still been… difficult.

She jumped up when Petra entered though, before her face fell. The queen had sat down at her desk, and immediately reached for her paperwork. 

"Petra…" the singer stood up with a small sigh, walking over, "Come on, you need to get some rest." 

"I don't have time for rest," Petra replied, "I must get this work done…" 

"Love, you're exhausted…" Dorothea sighed, resting her hands on the queens shoulders and  beginning to rub slowly, "Why don't you take a break? Let me sing for you." 

She hesitated, "Are… you sure? I must get this paperwork done…" 

"You can do it later," the songstress insisted, "Take a break, love. You need one."

Petra frowned at her, shifting to face her wife. Dorothea smiled reassuringly at her, and smiled wider when the queen began to relax, "I have a day off tomorrow…"

"You can finish the paperwork first thing tomorrow, and then we can go out together."

It was quiet for a moment.

Petra sighed, and stood up as she gave in, "Okay… Will you sing for me, Thea?" 

"Of course," Dorothea smiled even brighter in response, and pulled her wife over to the bed. The two laid next to each other, as she hummed softly. 

"What song would you like me to sing?" 

"No preference." 

"Hmm… okay," Dorothea sat up, and began humming. The humming went on for a few moments, changing pitch and tune to match a song, and then…

"Reach for my hand," she began to sing softly, "I'll soar away. Into the dawn, oh, I wish I could stay." 

Petra rolled over and smiled at her. 

"In cherished halls, in peaceful days, I fear the edge of dawn… knowing time betrays." 

Her voice was soft, soothing, and before long… the queen had fallen asleep. 

And when she had finished the song, as she was never one to leave something half done, Dorothea fell asleep too.

~♡~

As promised, Petra finished her paperwork early, and Dorothea had dragged her off to see the town shortly afterward. 

People waved as they passed by, and the pair waved back happily. Brigid's capital really was a lively and friendly place.

Just after noon had come, Dorothea brought her wife to the opera house. There was a public singing session today, and even half an hour before it started, people were beginning to gather. 

A certain indigo haired woman was there already, looking around. Dorothea smiled. 

"Shamir!" 

Shamir looked up, and grinned, "Well well. We meet again, kid. Your Majesty," she bowed to Petra, "To what do I owe this pleasure?" 

Petra fumbled for words. She still wasn't the best at Fodlanese…

"This day- er, Today, is my free day. I am not having work to do." 

"Lucky you," Shamir replied, "It's good to see you both again." 

"Am I assuming you came with the Dagda noble?" Petra asked. 

"Fodlan actually," she shrugged, "Mercenary life gets me plenty of jobs. Just so happened I was in town, and the lord was looking for a suitable guard." 

"Interesting," the queen hummed. 

"Are you here for choir?" Dorothea asked, tilting her head to the side with a happy smile. 

"I guess so. Lord Aegir wanted to come and I'm kind of obligated to follow him everywhere unless he specifically says so," Shamir shrugged, "He's talking to some of the singers, along with that guy from Almyra. Nader or something." 

"You didn't tell me Ferdie was the visiting noble!" Dorothea turned to pout at Petra. 

"It never came up," Petra admitted, laughing a little.

"Anyway, I'm going to go find something to do… singing isn't my thing." 

"You joined yesterday," Dorothea blinked at Shamir.

"I was exploring town and got caught up in it somehow," Shamir sighed, "Lord Aegir's over there if you want to talk to him." 

"Alright then… bye!" The songstress waved. Petra waved as well. 

The pair turned, and walked over to the ginger haired noble. 

"Ferdie!" 

Ferdinand turned, and broke into a huge smile, "Dorothea! The ugly maiden!" 

Everyone paused to stare at him. 

Someone in the back began snickering. 

"Uhh…" 

"Ferdie," Dorothea frowned, "Um… Do you know what 'aklos' means Brigid?" 

"Why, I was told it meant lovely!" Ferdinand replied, smiling brightly, "Impressive, right?" 

Dorothea began giggling, as Petra sighed. 

"Ah, Ferdinand… The Brigidian word for 'lovely', is 'akLAS'. Aklos is our word for ugly." 

The noble blinked. 

His face turned pink. 

"B-by the goddess! Please, accept my sincerest apologies!" He bowed, "I have been tricked it seems…" 

"Don't worry about it," Dorothea laughed, "Are you here for choir?" 

"Why yes! I heard from Manuela that you run your own opera house here! She misses you by the way, and is hoping to one day collaborate with your opera." 

"Oh, I would love to! I'll have to send a letter to her!" Dorothea exclaimed happily, "Thank you Ferdie!" 

"But of course! It is my duty to assist!" 

One of the actresses, a young woman, called over, "Miss Dorothea! We're ready to begin!" 

"Oh! That's my cue," Dorothea smiled, and giggled slightly, "Have fun Love," she pecked Petra on the cheek, and waved at Ferdinand, before running up to join the singers at the podium. 

Choir was always a joy for Petra to attend. Not only did she get to hear her wife's beautiful voice, but the act made her feel… closer to others, not only to her Dorothea, but to her citizens as well. The same citizens loved it when she would join them as well. 

Ferdinand sang loudly, and he sounded well enough. Nader on the other hand, sounded like a dying bird. The look Dorothea gave him at the end of the first song would've scared the pants off of even the most fiercest soldier.

He ended up being asked to sing... quietly, so that the others could be heard over him.

Even Shamir participated, though at the request of Ferdinand. She seemed to enjoy herself though, if only for one song. 

It seemed like only a few minutes later when choir ended, though it had been at least an hour. 

"You were great Petra!" The songstress quickly began gushing, "Even better than before!"

"You're making me blush Thea," Petra laughed in embarrassment, "You sounded much better than I did." 

"Even so," she giggled, "Well, what would you like to do now?" 

"Why don't we visit the orphanage?" 

"Sounds like a wonderful idea," Dorothea replied, "Let's head there now, and then we can be home in time for dinner." 

"Right," the queen nodded, and after saying goodbye to Ferdinand and Shamir, they began walking to the orphanage.

~♡~

The orphanage was as lively as ever.

Though the place was small, and the only residents were a few children and their caretaker, it was always lively. The children were often running around and playing together, making noise and sometimes causing chaos. The 4 of them were quite the handful for their caretaker, but they managed. 

A jingle sounded as they entered. 

"Just a moment!" Came a call from the back. A few seconds later, the caretaker appeared, carrying a box. 

"Oh!" She gasped, "Your Majesty, Lady Dorothea! What a pleasant surprise!" 

"Hello Chey," Petra smiled, "We came to visit." 

"The children were just wondering when they would be able to see you again," Chey laughed, smiling, "Children! You have a visitor!" 

Light footsteps were heard immediately. The quick pitter patter of small feet echoed in the building, as a group came tumbling out of the bedrooms.

First came Fiona, a 7 year old. She was quickly followed by the 8 year old, Darrell, who stumbled and tripped onto her. Fiona squealed.

Lily came next, the oldest at age 11, "Hey! Be careful, I'm holding Harry!" 

Harry let out a "Bubba!" and burst into giggles. He was the youngest of the four, being just barely a year in age. Fiona and Darrell fumed at each other.

"Now now,' Chey frowned, walking over to them, "Don't get into a fight. Look who came to visit!" 

"Kween Petwa! Dorufea!' Harry babbled excitedly, "Petwa and Dorufea! Yay!" 

"Q-Queen Petra! Lady Dorothea!" Lily gasped, and did a quick bow still holding the toddler, "It's a pleasure to see you again!" 

"Petra! Dorothea! Hi!' Fiona brightened up quickly and waved. 

"Idiot, it's QUEEN Petra and LADY Dorothea! Don't forget your manners!" Darrell hissed at her. 

"What do titles matter?" She crossed her arms with a huff.

"A lot!" 

"How?" 

"Because-" 

"That's enough," Chey sighed, "No fighting. Apologize to Her Majesty and Lady Dorothea." 

The pair glared at each other. She nudged them.

Darrell was first. 

"I'm sorry Queen Petra, Lady Dorothea…" 

"Sorry…" Fiona mumbled quickly just after him. 

Harry babbled something that nobody understood. Dorothea laughed, and took him from Lily. He squealed happily, and pulled her hair. She winced, but laughed. 

"Your apology is accepted, little ones," Petra knelt down to smile at Fiona and Darrell, "It is a pleasure to see you again." 

The two smiled brightly at her in response. 

"What do you say?" Chey prompted. 

"Thank you Queen Petra!" The two chorused, before running off into the back playfully shoving each other. 

"Ah…" the caretaker watched them run off, "I'll have to scold them later… I'm sorry." 

"Don't worry about it," Dorothea laughed, "You seem to be handling them well." 

"Ah, well… I'm not quite sure how I ended up with four of them. I picked up Lily off the streets and since then… Well I haven't been able to say no to them like that," the caretaker laughed softly, "Will you be staying for a visit your Majesty? Lady Dorothea?" 

"Please?" Lily added with a smile. 

Harry babbled and giggled happily. 

"I'm sure we can stay for a little bit," Petra nodded. 

"Of course," Dorothea smiled brightly, "It would be a pleasure." 

Lily cheered, and Harry babbled. The royal pair followed her into the backroom with a laugh. 

~♡~

The meeting room was silent. 

Dorothea suppressed a sigh. Shamir glanced at her from across the room.

"...and that is why I believe we should cut off trade entirely. I don't mean to be accusing, but recent affairs have proven my suspicions." 

The noble from Dagda would not shut up. He kept going on and on about how Fodlan's recent battles proved them unstable, and their rocky relationship with surrounding areas didn't help. 

"Lord Hanth, please," Ferdinand sighed, "I can assure you with 100% positivity that Fodlan is unified in all ways. I ask that you please refrain from this incessant blabbering about us being unstable, when it is not backed up by factual evidence." 

Hanth scowled, "Of course you would say that, Lord Aegir. You're FROM Fodlan-"

Petra sighed, "Lord Hanth, with all due respect, I can fully support Lord Aegir's claims as witness. Dorothea and I were present for the unification of Fodlan." 

"That is not the only issue!" Hanth snapped, "Her, for example!" He pointed at Shamir, "Why is a citizen of Dagda-"

"I'm from Dagda, yeah," Shamir crossed her arms, "I came to Fodlan as a mercenary. Lord Aegir hired me." 

Ferdinand raised an eyebrow at the Dadga lord.

"We were invaded once-" 

"You started that fight," Dorothea pointed out.

He scowled, "I refuse to do trade until both Fodlan and Brigid have proven their stability. With that, I believe this meeting is over." 

He turned and stomped out. 

"...Geez," Nader sighed, "What a guy." 

Dorothea jumped. She had forgotten about the Almyran general. 

"General Nader, thoughts?" Petra looked over. 

"I got no problem with trade, long as Fodlan doesn't interfere with our merchants," the general shrugged, "Might have to double check with the king on that though." 

"I see. In that case, do what you must," she nodded. 

"...Shamir, are all the nobles from Dagda like that?" Ferdinand asked. 

"Dunno," Shamir shrugged, "I haven't been there in years." 

"Well," Dorothea sighed, "I suppose not trading with Dagda isn't too much of a loss…" 

"I am sure we can manage," Petra nodded, "Ferdinand? Are you confirming a trade with Brigid?" 

"But of course!" Ferdinand smiled, "And I hope we can establish trade with Almyra as well!" 

"Hah! Sounds good!" Nader laughed. 

"Shall we shake on it then?" The nobleman asked. 

"Yes," Petra nodded, and held out her hand. She shook with Ferdinand, then Nader, and then the two shook hands with each other.

It was agreed. 

Ruling a country that once was a vassal to another wasn't easy. Especially not when there were relationships she had to repair with other kingdoms, but maybe… just maybe, she could do it. 

As long as she had Dorothea, the person whom she is said to have loved the most, standing at her side.

~♡~

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter twenty-four: i’ve been missing you, it’s true

A/N: wow... it has been so LONG since i posted OTLS. sorry about that, i just needed a break from this story. i also needed to plan out how the rest of the story is going to play out, and i think i’m almost there. but anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter! sorry it’s a bit short, but i’m gonna try to post the next chapter next week at some point. thank you all for the love you have sent me for this story and for all of my stories. you guys are awesome :)

description of the story

taglist:  @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose , @far-to-many-bands , @absolute-randomness-forever

trigger warning: cursing??, mostly fluff

word count: 1222

~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Month Later

“…Alright, I’m gonna answer like one or two more questions and then I’m gonna get off.” I stated, my eyes on the camera.

I glanced down at my chat, looking for some questions to answer. Most were just people asking for shout outs and what not. Finally, I landed on one that had been asked the entire time I was doing this live.

Are you and Colby a thing?

I breathed, trying to ignore the butterflies that erupted in my stomach at the mere mention of his name.

“No. Me and Colby are not a thing. We’re really good friends. I mean, I’m friends with all the Trap House boys so… but yeah, me and Colby aren’t together.” A tight-lipped smile came to my face.

After I mentioned Colby, all hell broke loose. Everyone started mentioning him in some way or another. Some were telling people to stop mentioning him in my livestreams, some were saying I was lying, some were just saying me and him should be together.

“Okay everyone. I think I’m gonna call it a day. I got some editing to get done, plus I got work later tonight so… I’ll talk to yall later. Thanks for a good live!” I waved at the screen, giving a peace sign and ending the live.

I exhaled deeply, clicking my phone off and flopping onto my bed.

The last time I had seen Colby was over a month ago. Since I left LA, we had been texting and calling each other nonstop. Colby had asked me multiple times if I could come out to LA before he went on tour, which was going to be in a week or so. I told him I couldn’t, as much as I desperately wanted to see him.

He asked if there was any way he could buy me tickets to fly me out, especially since we both agreed that I would be staying at the Trap House if I could come. I denied him every time, saying I wouldn’t be able to accept a gift that big.

Even though it was tempting as all hell.

None of this was helped by the fact that his (and kind of mine) fans were posting of us constantly. I had seen fan edits of us, manips, and accounts dedicated to our relationship. It was really cute, don’t get me wrong, but all it did was make me miss him more.

I really just wanted to see him again.

A soft knock at my door brought me out of my thoughts. I turned towards my door, mumbling a ‘come in’. My Mom’s head popped around the corner.

“Hey honey? How are you doing?” She asked sweetly.

I shrugged. “I’m okay. I just finished the livestream.”

“How’d that go?” She stepped inside, getting closer to me.

“It was good. A lot of the fans were asking about Colby again.” I huffed.

“You really miss him, don’t you?” She questioned, a sad smile appearing on her face.

I nodded my head. “Yeah. I can’t stop thinking about him. I know we talk every day, but I really want to see him face-to-face, you know?”

My Mom sat down on my bed. “Well, I know you’ve been feeling down lately, so I wanted to get you something.”

“Aw, mom. You didn’t have to.” I cooed.

“Yes, I did. You’re my daughter and I hate seeing you so upset.” She pulled a pink paper bag out from behind her, placing it on my lap.

I pushed the tissue paper aside, pulling out the first little gift. It was a tiny bottle of my favorite perfume.

“Thanks, I was almost out of this.” I added.

The next gift was a tiny bottle of shampoo.

“Wait, this is so cute. Isn’t this like travel size or something?” I suggested.

My Mom grinned. “Yeah it is.”

The next was a travel size bottle of body wash, wipes, deodorant, and some snacks.

“This is all so sweet, Mom. Thank you.” I praised.

“There’s one more thing. There’s a card at the bottom.” She revealed, pointing at the bag.

I pursed my lips as I dug to the bottom, finding the card. It was in a lime green envelope, with my name on it. I yanked the card out, and the front said ‘Happy Graduation’ in big bold letters.

“I graduated months ago, Mom.” I laughed.

I slowly opened the card, a prewritten message of ‘The world is now your oyster! Go travel the see for new adventures!’ was on the one side. The other side just had the words ‘Look Up’ written in my Mom’s handwriting.

I cocked my head to the side, but slowly lifted my head to look at my Mom. In her hands were two plane tickets.

“Wait what?” I puzzled.

“I know you’ve been missing Colby a lot this past month, and I figured with the extra money I made with my side business, I could buy you this as a late graduation present.” She confessed, a light smile on her face.

I took the tickets from her hands, looking at them closely. Her words hadn’t registered in my head until I saw ‘Philadelphia to Los Angeles’.

“Oh my God!!” I screamed, jumping up and hugging my Mom tightly.

She let out a loud laugh as I let go of her and started jumping up and down in excitement.

“Wait when do I leave?” I inquired.

“In a week. I made sure to line it up with your work, since next week you only work one day, so I figure you can call out for that.” She explained.

“And I’m there for…?” I glanced down at the tickets.

“A week, as well.” She informed.

“Mom, you don’t know how badly I needed this.” I sang.

“Yes I do. I’ve heard your phone conversations with Colby.” She admitted.

I whined jokingly. “Mom!”

“What? I’m nosey.” She smirked. “Besides, if I have to hear another minute of you talking about Colby and how much you miss him, I might go crazy.”

I grabbed my Mom and embraced her again. “Thank you, Mommy.”

“No problem, sweetie.” She whispered.

As she left my room, I grabbed my phone. I thought about calling Colby and letting him know I was coming to see him, but then I thought of a better plan.

I scrolled to Sam’s number and called him.

“Hey Skye, what’s up?” Sam greeted.

I couldn’t hold in my excitement. “So… my mom bought me tickets to LA.”

Sam gasped. “What?! That’s great. Colby hasn’t mentioned anything.”

“I haven’t told him.” I answered.

“Why?” He queried.

I bit my lip. “I was thinking of surprising him.”

“Ooh, that sounds cool.” He remarked.

“I’m not flying out for another week, and I was wondering if maybe you could get me at the airport, and we could surprise Colby together.” I requested.

“I’m up for it. And also, thank God you’re coming out here. Colby will not shut up about you.” He disclosed.

I beamed. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve never heard him talk about a girl this much before in my life.” Sam continued, deadpanning. “Now I understand why he gets annoyed when I talk about Kat so much.”

I giggled. “Alright. So, it’s set. I’ll see you in a week, Samuel.”

“See you then, Skye.” Sam replied.

<< CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 25 >>

This gets long

I found myself thinking about the churches I’ve left behind in my life. What prompted it was a concern that too many of them were over some sort of strife between myself and the pastor, but in retrospect that was a way less common occurrence than I expected it to be (in fact, of churches where I was a member, it only happened twice; there are reasons I expected that number to be higher, but the fact remains that it was not). But in the process I found myself contemplating a lot more about the church I grew up in, and my involvement in the later days of our time there, which I don’t tend to talk about much because it rarely seems worthwhile. I don’t know for certain if I’ve ever told the story here, or to any of you that I’ve talked to outside of tumblr. But I can’t shake the thought of it now, so I thought I’d jot it down.

I grew up in what was officially a nondenominational church, but in practice was decidedly Pentecostal. It was called New Life Covenant Church, which in retrospect is weird because they didn’t hold to covenant theology, but whatever. We were at that church during the Brownsville Revival and the Toronto Blessing, and there was a great deal of interest in us getting in on a piece of that action. We were also there when the “Left Behind” series began coming out, and were absolutely convinced that it was a gospel-truth rendition of what was surely coming any day now. I first started running the sound system there when I was nine, and we had a flag ministry (basically a flagline for worship) that I had joined and, if I may be so bold, kind of excelled at. The church campus had originally been a Christian campground, and our original sanctuary was the mess hall, but by the time I was nearing my teens we had raised funding and built a massive geodesic dome as the new sanctuary and relegated the former mess hall to Children’s Church.

You know. To get a sense of what the place was like.

The church was still being pastored by the planting pastor for a significant amount of my time there, and once he left in disgrace over something that isn’t relevant here, the associate pastor stepped into the lead pastor role. My dad was an elder by then, and sang on the worship team, so he and I would frequently arrive early on Sunday mornings to be present for worship practice, he on the stage and me in the booth. One Sunday morning, shortly after Hugh took over the pastorate, as we were walking into the nearly empty sanctuary, something caught my eye and I stopped to look up.

I saw the dome open up, just completely fold down so I could see the whole sky and many of the trees above and around us. There was fire, raining like water, and slowly filling the room. In the distance, in every direction, I saw a battle raging. Angels were engaged with various forces of darkness, apparently keeping them at bay. I took the whole thing in, and when I understood what it was, it was gone.

So I went to Hugh and told him I’d seen something. When he asked what it was, I told him in as much detail as I could recall at the time about the vision, and then he asked if I knew what it meant. I told him that I did, that a massive blessing was waiting to be poured out on our church, to overflowing, and through us to the community around us. But, I warned, there was great opposition to it, and we had a responsibility to avoid temptation to turn aside from the gospel and needed to stay true in the days of testing that were coming.

Well, of course he loved that, and that morning it was mentioned in the sermon and I soon found myself getting praised for being wise beyond my years and clearly a prophet. This was bolstered by a poem I’d written about missions that the church really seized on and my relative youth in the work I was doing around the church. It was kind of a big deal, or at least I was led to believe everyone thought it was a big deal. I didn’t really know what to do with that, though, so I kept running sound and doing my thing.

But I was already starting to question some of what I was being taught there. As part of the agreement that allowed my cub scout den to use a building owned by a local Presbyterian church, I had attended a handful of services in uniform as an usher, and noticed that their version of Christianity was radically different from the version practiced at New Life. It was so different, in fact, that I had already determined that either one of us was decidedly not Christian, or the list of essentials for what defined Christianity was much shorter than I was being told. I had been baptized probably a half dozen times because I didn’t fully understand that it only needed to be done once, and I was beginning to wonder why they let me keep doing it if I was so clearly unaware of what was going on. And I’d been baptized in the Spirit, which basically meant I stood in the church library with elders praying over me until I started speaking in tongues, but I knew full well I’d just started making random noises to appease them because I was getting hungry. And then there was the time I fell asleep on the floor in the back of the church during a revival night that was running a bit long for me, and when I woke and found people celebrating my being ‘slain in the Spirit’ I realized they couldn’t tell the difference between what was supposed to be a powerfully holy moment and a snoozing child.

I must not have snored back then, I guess.

But over the course of the next couple years things got weird. Chasing the dream of a revival like the ones north and south of us, the services were beginning to focus more and more on music and spontaneous messages and less on the Bible. It reached a point where we didn’t have a single sermon for months at a time, and when we did there was a solid chance it wouldn’t even reference scripture. One famously odd sermon had Hugh preaching from an anonymous blog post he’d found online that seemed prophetically relevant to our body, only to later learn his own wife had written it and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it being read in front of the whole church since it was, in fact, something of a vent post about some people in our church.

People who were very concerned about the declining role of scripture at the church started to quietly leave. We stuck around far longer than we should have, specifically because my dad was an elder and, as such, he felt it was his responsibility to stay on and fight to bring the church back on course. There was a short-lived stint where he had convinced Hugh to let him preach a sermon every Sunday just to make sure there would be one, but it was scheduled for the hour before church officially started for the day.

I knew friends were leaving, and I knew things were getting strange, but Dad wasn’t really explaining the problems he knew about to us. I knew Hugh had challenged the church that anyone who was leaving should come to the mic and tell the church why, and I knew no one had done so. But most of it was something I would learn later, after we left. But before that happened, I had another vision.

One morning, while Dad and I were arriving early again, something caught my eye and I stopped and looked up and saw the dome open as before. But this time there was no fire raining down, and the room was bone dry. Outside, the sky was just dark, with no traces of the angels or the battle that had been raging before. And when I knew what it meant, it was gone, and I went and found Hugh. I told him I’d seen something, and he was positively giddy. “Yes!” I could clearly tell he was thinking, “here it is!” So I told him what I saw. He looked at me confused for a moment, then asked what it meant.

“We did it wrong,” I said, “we squandered our chance and the blessing isn’t coming. This place is and will be spiritually dead.” I was no more than 14 at this point, and as his countenance changed he reminded me of that. He demanded to know what made me think I knew anything about it, anyway, when I was just some arrogant little kid. He stormed off and I stood there a moment, considering what he’d said. Then I went to someone else on the tech crew and told them I was no longer going to be mixing sound and they needed to find someone else. I walked out of the sanctuary, wiped my shoes clean on the carpet, and walked off into a stairway above the mess hall where I sat the rest of that morning reading Isaiah and praying and singing a couple songs by myself.

I didn’t go back. I had to go to the physical church every week with my family, but I would turn aside while they entered the sanctuary and I would go sit in the stairway, or wander the grounds, or sometimes sit in the car. I never saw another service there, until the day my dad told me we were going for our last Sunday and he really, really wanted all of us together when he took Hugh up on the offer to explain our decision. So I went in that day, and as soon as we entered Dad went to the mic and delivered a 40-minute sermon on where the church had gone awry and why we were leaving, and then we all left and never returned.

I’m told the church got down to about six people in the end. As I heard it, Hugh stepped down after admitting to an affair with a younger man, and when his associate pastor took over he either couldn’t or wouldn’t change course, and eventually the church was completely dead and disincorporated. The grounds and everything in the buildings was donated to a local church planting team, and every semblance of New Life Covenant Church was erased.

But what happened the other night, when I first started thinking about these events again, is that I was drawn to a certain detail in the story. See, I hadn’t ever thought back to what the content of those encounters actually was. I hadn’t though about them at all, really, let alone enough to analyze them, but suddenly I really wanted to do that. And I noticed for the first time that the point of that whole thing had been about the way the church was handling the gospel and relating it to mission, and how they were so focused on some other objective that they were sacrificing scripture to get some other thing they really wanted.

And then an assortment of times where I have confronted people, individually or in groups, about the way they handled the gospel and were trying to use it for some alternate purpose, culminating in the fights I’ve been having with people for the last five years about unquestioned and cultic Evangelical support of Trump. And I realized, for the first time, that I got this message once when I was a kid, and have never stopped saying that same thing ever since, often to the exact same people who are still in my life that I first met at New Life Covenant. And I thought, “man, no wonder they’re sick of me.”

But yeah. So now that’s just kinda stuck on my mind, and it keeps just sitting there like I should know or think something specific about it, but I don’t know what. And I don’t know why I felt the need to write about it, but I did, and now you’ve read the whole thing, so thanks for your patience, I guess.