#anyway yeah it was very fun to read
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i miss heckling polybius....i should read another ancient historian with terrible opinions.
#polybius is such a misogynist. he makes xenophon look great. like after reading polybius i was genuinely like#wow. actually. thinking about it? xenophon hardly ever disparages women. in fact he seemed to kind of admire some tho it's possible he was#just trying to make that husband sound like more of a coward#still. he never really shows the level of ideological vitriol polybius does who goes on entire rants about it#<- portrait of an individual whose standards have sunk so low they risk emerging on the other side of the earth#polybius is so. dhjdhd. god what a dick lmao. OH and remember his little “well the torture was only a myth....BUT THEY SHOULD HAVE TORTURED”#“IN FACT. i think they should have turned him into an educational traveling torture exhibition”#ok calm down there mister#anyway yeah it was very fun to read
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a lesson on good karma
digimon survive week 2024
day 4: supporting characters
#digimon#gomamon#digimon survive#survive week#survive week 2024#rambling ahead. you don't have to read the tags beyond bc there's nothing that important tbh... you can just look at the art...#exhausted from being out and doing housework yesterday. then got a last-minute job with very urgent deadline today#finished everything but yeah basically i did anything but art so#irl do be like that aint it#anyway it's been a long time since i played survive and my memory isn't that good#but i always remember the part where we had to protect the gomamon#and later they showed us a path via the dam allowing the team to continue exploring#it reminded me of just how important it is to be nice and do good things whenever and wherever possible#and be mindful with the not-so-good things you do and say#be it good or bad. karma is real even if you don't know when it will get back at you#and you know in visual novel settings. whatever choice you make really determines what happens later on#yeah believe it or not i end up thinking stuff like that by helping a bunch of adorable seal mons...#mmm i'm officially behind now so i might as well take my time while also rest a bit haha ;;#this week has been fun with survive week tho fr. even though i came in unprepared (when will i change)#gotta keep surviving#png
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tim and bernard who break up and it's nothing big, no one cheated or anything. it's just their lifestyles didn't work out well together. tim cannot give up vigilantism currently and bear cannot handle the level of danger tim puts himself in. and on the other hand, tim cannot handle the fact that bear chooses to run into danger as an emt bc he already worries about everything but now he has to worry if he'll find his boyfriend convulsing from fear gas in a random alley but also bear who felt the life drain out of darla cannot stand the thought of not helping people and runs headfirst into dangerous situation after dangerous situation hoping that every person he saves can somehow make up for the fact that he could not save darla.
(he very pointedly does not think about the fact that there was nothing he could do because if he thinks about that, he'll spiral until they have to lock him in arkham too)
and so they break up but they were tim & bernard in high school and when they started dating they balanced out the worst of each other and they became tim&bernard. and everyone who knows them, knows that they're better together but they cant be together, they refuse actually because they cannot lose another person to the violence of gotham and by the time they figure out that they cant work together as long as the other is an emt or vigilante, it's too late for both them. they've already left too many pieces of themselves in each other.
tim still knows what bear means when he says "tim" in that exasperated voice. tim still goes boneless when he hears bear say "baby" in that firm tone. bear can still read tim like a book. he still knows the right way to massage tim's neck so that tim can go to sleep. everyone at the first responders gala knows not to bother ceo drake-wayne and senior emt dowd when they're talking.
(and if they're standing a little too close to each other than what is normal, who are they to judge? everyone knows that dowd and drake-wayne have history)
and if everyone on the night shift has caught red robin with his head tucked into the crook of emt dowd's neck as emt dowd runs a soothing hand up and down the vigilante's back, well then, they just quietly back away.
(after all, dowd's one of like, five, emts that can get the bats to receive medical treatment so if turning a blind eye to whatever the fuck they have going on is what allows them to give back to their heroes, then the night shift will do it every time)
and of course, tim and bear are practical people. they loved (love) each other sure, but when your lives are fundamentally incompatible, well, you cant get too stuck on the what-ifs, that's for sure. and so they do find love with other people and yeah, maybe it's not what they expected love to be when they first fell in love with each other. it's not the bubbly, stomach-swoopy, cant stop grinning, feeling that permeated tim&bernard's early days or the i Know you/you Know me that was their middle or the quiet despair that was their end but it is contentment. and in a life with as many losses as theirs, contentment is something they hold dearly
and they're happy! truly! but sometimes, at galas when they're making each other snort champagne out their noses or in darkened alleyways when their clothes are both stained with blood or at rallies for stricter gun regulations in gotham where they both sit too close to each other, fingers enclosed around each other in a death grip, when the presenters inevitably bring up grieves
(worst school shooting in gotham in decades, there's blood on their hands and blood in their mouths and darla is dead in between both of them and there is a chasm so wide that they are screaming to get their voices across and she will always be dead and maybe this had always been the problem that she is dead and there is no coming back from that and that there is blood on their hands and blood in their mouth and blood on their han-)
but sometimes, most especially on opposite sides of the street, as life pulls them in different directions, just sometimes, they see each other and just for a second, nothing too long, the flap of a hummingbird's wings, the time it takes to blink, an electron's orbital, they look at each other and for the briefest moment, blue on brown, a barely noticeable stutter in their steps, the space between heartbeats, because this is all they will give themselves because they do not dwell on what-ifs or what-could-have-beens, or what-should-have-beens, or delusions of a softer world, their eyes meet and they think to themselves, god, in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with him.
#what the fuck is this#the theme was wistfulness. hopefully that came across right. and like i wanted this to be all 1 text block so you feel how it all collapses#into that 1 thought they have at they end but fuckass tumblr has a 4096??? text limit for a single paragraph???? so here's multiple paragra#anyway here is my middle of the road sad timbern hc. do i think this will happen? no? is this still a fun world to play in? yeah absolutely#also super huge fan of darla haunting the narrative. darla as this chasm they cannot cross. darla as smth they shelter each other from#but also smth like a 2 way blade. it cuts them both. it will never stop cutting them. smth smth the wound will always bleed#also i cannot stress how important it is that they are happy with other people!!! they are both satisfied with other people. it's just that#they have a very specific history and they are the only two people who really know and understand that history#and also it's not that theyre unhappy with their partners but just that smtimes they look at each other and... wonder. in a softer world#maybe i could've been a chef and you could've still been a superhero and we could've still worked out. maybe we would've gotten a boat#together and maybe we could've come home to each other. maybe i could've trusted you to come home to me. maybe you could've#understood my need to help people. maybe we could've held our love as something precious.#maybe in a softer world our love wasn't something that hurt us both.#i need to lay down. im going crazy#as always i do love reading yalls thoughts in the reblogs and replies!!!#bernard dowd#dc#tim drake#timbern#timber
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+ Butch 4 Butch +
(Except neither one of them is rlly that butch but holy fUCKING SHIT THAT SONG IS LITERALLY THEM… the version of them I made up in my mind palace… it’s them.)
Anywayyyy. Yeah! Have a tagr art dump..! aka, those vibes when you, out of a series of moments of temporary insanity, end up finding, taking in, nursing back to health and eventually falling into a tangled messy yearning situationship w the asshole tsundere alien who tried to destroy your entire planet… rlly extremely relatable vibes!!
#invader zim#gaz membrane#tak#invader tak#tagr#iz tak#iz gaz#doodles#caption for the 3rd pic:#ton ten photos taken seconds before a goth girls plushie security system shoots you in the head.#anyway… yeah… I love these two#I think a lot my ideas for them are informed by this one fanfic I read as a young teen/child… but I don’t actually remember anything#concrete?? just general story beats? and I’m pretty sure my ideas deviate from it a good bit. but#I think that fic def formed the basis for my tagr love and appreciation#I think they could be complicated and messy and painful and fun as fuck#I have ideas for them lol. and some more art. so hopefully I’ll be able to post that soon too#but for now… enjoy sketch dump of messy goth saphics#*top ten moments. not ton. spellings hard ghgh#I think tak is very hesitant about initiating physical contact and intimacy and being cuddly. cuz of pride and also repression#but I saw a post talking about irkens being naturally very touchy feely affectionate and I def agree…#so. tak is wary of stuff like that at first. but once u break thru that initial barrier of her denying herself she’s actually sUPER TOUCHY#gaz has unleashed a pda beast she just doesn’t kno it yet
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The Roombabot Diaries
"Even without full scan function, I still had my dark vision filters and my own mapping data, so with the fixed point of the corridor hatch, I could retrace my steps to the ramp. It just looked awkward and stupid because for the first part I had to navigate like a floor-cleaning bot." - Martha Wells, System Collapse
(Video and audio description below the cut)
VIDEO ID:
An animated video of Murderbot, in a full environmental suit (featuring a little 'Perihelion' logo on its chest and an opaque helmet).
Murderbot is wandering around a dark space, the sound of its footsteps on the stone floor are audible. It walks in a straight line to the right until it hits a pillar with an audible 'thunk' noise and stops. A grumpy smiley face appears next to it.
It recalibrates, making little chirping calibrating sounds, then turns and moves towards the viewer until it seems to hit the camera (again with a 'thunk' noise and a little frowny smiley face next to it) and recalibrates again.
It turns its back to the viewer and starts walking again, this time seemingly hitting the wall in the back. It recalibrates again, then turns to the right and starts walking again. After a few seconds it stops briefly, two exclamation marks appear next to it along with a beeping noise, then it quickly walks out of frame.
#listen i know this is not really what happened in this scene but like.#all i could think about when i was reading this was murderbot moving around like a roomba#figuring out the layout of the space by bumping into things and changing its direction with every collision#and the mental image was so funny to me#i don't actually know how to animate i literally downloaded the software a few weeks ago for another silly mb video (which is unfinished)#this is my second attempt with the software and like. it's FUN!! but i also don't know what i'm doing help#also PLEASE i can't draw please don't @ me about the anatomy#i'm trying to tell myself that the environmental suit is just. very weird hjsdfkdjkhdfjh#anyWAYS#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#system collapse#system collapse spoilers#sc spoilers#video#𓄿#also. i really wanted to add the humans following mb in a row like little ducklings and almost crashing into it when it crashes into things#but then i would have had to animate 3 additional sets of walk cycles and it would have gotten to complicated and crowded sdfhjdksf#but. yeah. feel free to imagine they are there
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I would also like to see some miphlink, if that's okay!
I was really struggling with what to draw, and then I remembered your ask from ages ago (dang ADHD brain...) anyway, sorry its such a late answer, but Miphlink inspired by Dicksee's La Belle Dame
#thank you so so much for the ask stars!! I had completely forgotten about it (I'm so so sorry!!) and it saved me from an artist-not-arting#you know the sort of pent up unpleasant feeling you get when you need to do something creative but its not happening and then its sad?#yeah I didn't get that because your ask suddenly popped into my head! so very happy about that :) thank you!#link is a horse girl and we need more of it in life#also to try and get the flowy fabric look that Dicksee's La Belle Dame has without putting Link in a dress I decided to modify Mipha's fins#and then added some of that gorgeous salmon colour from the original piece#also the reason the reason the champions tunic etc have that grey tinge to it is because the knight was wearing armour in the original piec#with a beautiful duckegg blue grey colour and I thought including that might be fun too!#anyway#the couple that is perfect for one another and should always be together for all time: Mipha and Link#mipha#link#botw#creativesplat draws#breath of the wild#miphlink#lipha#I really need to catch up on the miphlink tag... its so exciting to have so much wonderful art and writing to look through but I am a rathe#busy/ adhd forgetful bean so whenever I get round to reading or looking at art... there will be a long reblog/ queue of miphlink stuff!#eventually#at some point#because fashionably late (coughjustlatecough) is my middle name!#enough rambling sorry#I love drawing miphlink its like a comfort drawing thing#like her head is so squidgy and so easy to doodle so if ever my brain is bored or I want to draw and need happy hormones but can't find the#mipha is the answer because the squishy head is just sooooo good#the designers of mipha were amazing and I love them#epona#tloz#zelda
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Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.
Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen
A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death
#hellsing#alucard#kouta hirano#translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent#fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online#i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443'#but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands#the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake#anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool#if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first#and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf#i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia#then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point#but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page#and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. ....#i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh#the hellsing brainrot runs deep#also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491#except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo#the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002#which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out??#i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch#sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less#it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was#maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'
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Workin on Redesigning Jackies Colorful version and Im stuck as hell on clorors to pic for their Hair. Tried a billion different ones but These 5 seemed to work best I think
Also also Redesigning Isaac as well as his Sister. The old story I had for them was okay but then I got a better idea that makes Isaac the irredeemable shit I wanted him to be originally!
Also this idea allows me to tie in the whole thing from the cannon creeps comic of everyone seeming to hate LJ. Only in PM I plan on it to be a bit different with Ragz. Mainly that they didn't really do anything but SOMEONE did.
A Hint on why Ragz may be heavily disliked.
#im very unsure on a hair color so by all means give opinions!#either way its gonna be black in the version of them with less color#on another note#if it wasnt obvious Isaac is just being straight up malicious by dressing like that in the underworld#mf is intentionally pretending to be this clown to cause problems because hes pissedbabout being very justifiably killed#I'll get into that backstory one day#i gotta admit tho. Clown Isaac is very fun to draw#i got the idea because when reading the original LJ origin story#the thought of 'hey what if LJ is actually just Isaac?'#like yeah LJ killed him blah blah#bit what if LJ really was just an imaginary friend and the death was more a metaphorical one#im sure someoen else has had the idea before#but it came to mind a long time ago and it inspired me to be like#“what if after getting killed by this clown Isaac said he ruined my life so ima ruin his now”#and just dressed up to cause problems on purpose for them#anyway actual tags now#creepypasta#proxymorons#crp#creepy pasta#creepypasta art#doodleteeth#creepypasta redesign#laughing jack#isaac grossman#Izzy Lockwood#Isaac Lockwood#Ragz#Jackie Ragzdale
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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Prompt:
Bruce keeps accidentally calling Tim by Jason’s name.
And it’s fine. Really. This was— not exactly Tim’s plan, but it seems to help keep Batman stable. So— so it’s fine. He can be Jason. For Bruce. For Batman.
#prompts#this prompt is darker than intended…#but hey Bruce isn’t exactly mentally stable after Jason’s death#I read an essay about how Bruce didn’t have ptsd after seeing his parents die#he had ptsd after JASON died tho#which… honestly kind of had me stare off into space for a few moments#that boy was so SO loved#anyway yeah Tim#Tim does everything to keep up the illusion#Bruce doesn’t even notice half the time#because Tim never corrects him#Tim is making this worse than it actually is#oof yeah anyway#Jason comes back and it’s to an entire copy of himselfw#which is not very fun to explain#he goes berserk#Tim’s just like: wonderful! you’re back!#and it’s fine if you kill me Bruce won’t notice as long as you go home and there’s a Jason#;))))#Jason is just like: ????? wtf????????#jason todd#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#tim drake#batman
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i see a lot of opinions around, about death, and why she didn't intervene in dream's imprisonment
and i think a lot of people have trouble reconciling the idea that she does care about him, with the fact that she didn't do anything?
so then you get the theories that she couldn't have saved him (as if burgess was ever a match for the endless, he only got dream because dream was still recovering from burning out 99% of his power in overture), or that she was stuck by the rules of the endless not interfering with each other (that's a whole other convoluted discussion topic)
but i feel like these theories all kinda. misread, who death is. or rather, they sort of assume she's a human being with the same mentality as a human, and not the literal personification of death
of course she cares about her brother. and of course she technically had the power to intervene. but think about her existence. think about the way in which she knows everyone, the life she's lived for billions of years, and the life she knows she'll live until she's the last consciousness left in the universe
she's an inherently passive entity, she has to be. because her entire purpose is to stand there for the end of every life in existence, often horrific and violent and unfair ones, and to tell them that's just the way of things. to ensure that that fate does indeed come to pass. she knows how everyone is going to die and she just has to keep talking to them like she doesn't
when she was younger, it was different. granted, she refused to help dream then too, because (at least according to dream) all the endless were incredibly prideful when they were young, and wouldn't even have tried to help each other. but also, we have her word that at one point her job got overwhelming. the fact that she had to stand by and watch so much tragedy, to ensure it happened, really got to her. and for a while, she stopped. one of the few times if not the only time she has ever made a strong decision in the face of fate - she stopped collecting souls. and that turned out much worse. in order to exist as herself, she had to find a way to not only be okay with who she is, but find meaning in it. the person who would get involved, who would stand up against unfairness, that person cannot be death of the endless
and think about death as a concept, for a sec, not just as a person. death is patient. death will come for everyone in time, but time is meaningless to it. i like this panel, from endless nights, for connecting that with death the person, because she is always there and always waiting (in this story she waits here for anywhere between 10 and 200 years, depending on how you look at it. and she explains in this story that time doesn't really work the same to her as it does to everyone else. time is her father, after all. she can wait. she will always wait.)
even when she takes human form, like we see in high cost of living, she is the epitome of go with the flow. she just follows where the universe takes her, doesn't try to change anything, just lets her curiosity and love for humanity put her in whatever situation fate decided she should be. and fate (whether that's her brother, the fates, or something else entirely) does play some role in it, because her human form was created with $10.02 in her pocket, which is the exact amount of money she ended up needing to spend that day. and she trusts that she won't need more than that, no matter how many questions are thrown at her about it
which is not an inherently bad thing! because living in the moment means she is so much more alive than her siblings, it gives her the ability to offer so much more empathy towards the mortals she has to spend most of her time with, it makes her in many ways a wonderful person. she's just, not a person of action
death doesn't show she cares by stopping the bad things from happening to you. she shows she cares by being there for you after. by having the patience, despite her busy job, to sit and chat with every single person who's ever lived, and to comfort them in the best way she knows how
which is exactly what she did
#i am very tired rn so hopefully this is coherent#but i've been thinking about this again a lot recently#like. that 'i know' to dream. it's the same way she talks to everyone else#100 years is really not long to her#and she probably knew he'd be okay eventually#or i mean. okay from that anyway#i do have a lot of thoughts about how this applies to the everything in the later story but that is for another post when i have more brain#death of the endless#dream of the endless#the sandman#meta#mine#(to be clear do not stop with the death saves dream aus those are fun to read for the sibling content)#(but yeah avenging angel not usually her style)
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Toast to a Saint
#crow art#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#had a lot of fun experimenting with color on this one! also i teared up#something something how come nobody told meryl about wolfwood#anyway here they are catching up post canon. i like tragic dysfunctional post canon vashmeryl#whether you read it as platonic or romantic i like seeing it as them loving each other very deeply but not being able to care for each other#the way the other needs. you know? but there’s still comfort to be had there#so yeah you can tag this as vm or vw both are fair reads 👍
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Read @whats-those's Scream timeloop fic recently and had a wonderful time! Very good character voices, and some entertaining alternate deaths! Definitely check it out if you like Scream, Stu and a no good very bad day for him! (x4)
#scream 1996#stu macher#scream#with smaller cameos in this drawing from:#randy meeks#billy loomis#if you know where to look :))#midnight draws#was thrilled that the author had a tumblr so i could link it to them yahoo#ive been reading some fun fics lately!! would love to do more art for some of them...#anyway yeah this fic is super fun?? great cast and really strong billy and stu dynamic with the perfect mix of arguing and pining#that death 4 scene.....#anyway i think my fav death is 2 but i am also just a huge randy fan. i remember being so delighted by all their banter!!#and im so curious how this will get resolved since stu only seems to be getting more murder happy...also very excited to imagine how he#could get killed by DEWEY in the future. endlessly funny to me#anyway to conclude: sayonara dipshit!!!
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Losing your identity in favor of survival
#gordon freeman#half life#was thinking about my headcanon on why gordon looses his mullet by hl2 in which he gets grabbed by the ponytail too many times and cuts it#of course in a very emotional manner before he hardens as he goes from gordon to freeman in accordance with my chracterization of him from#my fic which u should go read on ao3#its called could gordon ever be clean#but yeah looove tying chara dev to hair and having it be so significant that gordon cuts his hair cuz i think he has a complex relationship#w his hair becuz hes so trans#i wont get into it cuz its kinda long but trust me its good#fun fact to get the subtle static texture u can barely see i used the sonic . exe static lol#eyestrain tw#<just in case these colors are kinda bright#anyways i love really messy haircuts cuz theyre having a breakdown and using a knife. it feels like in movies their hair always looks good#which is WRONG it would not look good like that u rlying to me#idoindeeddraw#anyways feeling artsy with the caption today lol#but thats like the theme of this comic and i wanted to ensure it was understood lol
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Some angst thoughts with you/Yuu after Jamil's overblot (with an extra dash of snake phobia because, uhh, personal experience):
Jamil thinks he knows why you avoid meeting his eyes - he doesn't realize you're still working on getting used to his presence in general, trying to keep at bay those memories of his overblot that seem so deeply ingrained in your mind.
In the right situation, just hearing Jamil's voice seems to take you back.
Seeing him from the corner of your eye isn't much better: those braids really look an awful lot like something long and slithery when your mind's primed for it, your mind anticipating the hissing snakes darting towards your face again.
You find it difficult to sleep with your bedroom door closed - it makes you feel too confined, with no way out.
Not that the new nightmares help your sleeping situation much, either.
Kalim keeps on inviting you over to the dorm for yet another get together. You know it would do you good to go, eventually, but you're not sure you're ready yet. So you come up with another excuse.
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#kalim al-asim#ner writes#basically I would have a very bad time dealing with Jamil's overblot form because sneks#so I'm kinda just extrapolating from there and thinking how I'd do in Yuu's shoes#and alright canon Yuu did not spend that much time actually interacting with him iirc but anyway#not sure how much sense these make but like kidnapping mindcontrol and snakes?#yeah I would be shook for sure#ngl now I kinda really wanna read a nice fic of reader/Yuu and Jamil slowly building a connection after his overblot#sure the other overblots were traumatic too but the captivity just makes scarabia extra fun
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some killjoy hcs/rambles :3
big fan of the HC that Ghoul has hearing loss like. look at that fella and tell me he has any sense of safety precautions
i also think he knows how to shoot his raygun and obviously has his explosives but if a fight ever becomes close range she just starts Biting
and that fucker can bite HARD he has dogshit dental heath (but that's pretty much a given if you live in the zones, i think) but his bite is so strong he often would rather use his teeth than scissors
also playing around (like. considering) with the hc of him being bigender? idk, thinking about that
cause i hc him as being raised in the zones + his crew died when he was young, i think he doesn't really have like. a strong idea of binary sex/gender/sexuality? like, i feel like labeling people is mostly a City concept, and killjoys just do whatever (although some killjoys do label themselves, it's just not an often occurrence)
SPEAKING OF THE CITY!!! i think Party and Kobra where both raised there and escaped together
Party realized they were NB and probably some flavor of queer when they were pretty young and tried to repress it at first, but that's obviously not health so it lead to them having really shit metal health/had a mental health crisis, but eventually they told Kobra and he tries to give them advice/ just be someone for Party to talk too
i also think they stopped talking their pills pretty young (like, i think Party stopped around puberty? so 10ish) and Kobra stopped a bit before Party came out to him (which is why he didn't report them and was able to help them)
Party's queerness is kinda what led to them leaving the city (i think there also may have been a confrontation with their parents that narrowed down their options to either running away or getting turned over for "reprogramming" but hey ho)
i think they would've met Jet Star and his crew pretty soon after them leaving the city, and they helped them to get to Dr. D
Jet couldn't convince the crew to let Party and Kobra stay any longer so they parted ways there
i actually don't have many Jet specific hcs other than that his eye patch is probably either due to an accident Ghoul caused or due to a clap with a drac
i think about a year after meeting Party & Kobra he leaves his own crew to go form his own/traverse the desert
which kinda leads to a general killjoy hc that they tend to be in crew with their families till they leave to form/find their own at around 15-20 (although some killjoys do stay in their original family crew)
there's probably zone-wide gatherings/parties where a tone of killjoys meet up to relax and have a good time
i flip flop between Party and Ghoul meeting at one of these and them meeting in some abandoned area while Party's doing a supply run
Ghoul speaks Afrikaans because i said so :3 (don't ask how it makes sense in canon - it doesn't really)
He reverts back to speaking it when angry/feeling very strong emotions (although it tends to be very choppy cause although speaking afrikaans is like his coping mechanism, he wasn't taught much of it by his family before they died)
I think she'd try to teach the other killjoys at some point cause it'd make communication easier, but Party's the only one who's remotely good at it cause they're the only other person in the group who can roll their r's
Party & Kobra r very shocked when they learn that other languages is a thing like. at all. cause growing up in the city they wouldn't have been taught that other languages r like. a thing ++ they would kinda also be taught at the same time that "everyone only speaking english is better cause then there's no error in communication ^_^" or something like that
idk whether or not i want Ghoul to be the reason they find this out… it'd definitely make for a good fic idea
like I said, I hc Ghoul as having bad dental health, but I think that also applies to Jet
Party and Kobra's good dental health is actually pretty unusual -- people tend to be able to tell they're from the city because of it
I also think they all have some kinda acne/acne scarring
for Party (and to a lesser extent, Kobra) it was a (bad) way to cope with the stress and anxiety of living in the city, and it became a habit that's still very hard for them to break
for Ghoul and Jet i think it's more a background thing they've never thought too hard on? like, oh there's red spots on my face now and some of them hurt? slay /pos
#sorry if the name colours are irritating/distracting it just helps me read large pieces of text#i'm insane about these fellas#sorry there's very few Kobra/Jet specific hcs i'm still pondering those#anyways yeah :333#might start writing my own fanfic cause of them#ttlotfk#ddttlotfk#killjoy headcanons#party poison#jet star#kobra kid#fun ghoul#danger days#the fabulous killjoys#cart's rambles#cart's word vomit#a lot of this is just projection but hey ho
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