#irl do be like that aint it
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a lesson on good karma
digimon survive week 2024
day 4: supporting characters
#digimon#gomamon#digimon survive#survive week#survive week 2024#rambling ahead. you don't have to read the tags beyond bc there's nothing that important tbh... you can just look at the art...#exhausted from being out and doing housework yesterday. then got a last-minute job with very urgent deadline today#finished everything but yeah basically i did anything but art so#irl do be like that aint it#anyway it's been a long time since i played survive and my memory isn't that good#but i always remember the part where we had to protect the gomamon#and later they showed us a path via the dam allowing the team to continue exploring#it reminded me of just how important it is to be nice and do good things whenever and wherever possible#and be mindful with the not-so-good things you do and say#be it good or bad. karma is real even if you don't know when it will get back at you#and you know in visual novel settings. whatever choice you make really determines what happens later on#yeah believe it or not i end up thinking stuff like that by helping a bunch of adorable seal mons...#mmm i'm officially behind now so i might as well take my time while also rest a bit haha ;;#this week has been fun with survive week tho fr. even though i came in unprepared (when will i change)#gotta keep surviving#png
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K.E.W.K.: *Walks back into the blog 8 months later with a mug of cold coffee and even bigger eye bags* Self-Care~ 👑✨
#k.e.w.k. draws#I felt this meme was obligatory lol#CRINGE AINT DEAD (IT WAS JUST RESTING)✅#(okay but how has it been that long srsly what is time)#i needed the break#been doing a lot of work with self-improvement irl#it has been A Lot (tm)#but I feel like I'm finally ready to come back c:#bc FUCK I MISSED BEING CRINGE ON THE INTERNET WITH MY DARLING KOUHAI AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH QwQ#Now to do some revamping and reply to my backlog of DMs so I can slowly get back in the swing of things around here~#[please stand by...] UwU 💌🎨📚💦
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YOUR ART IS SO CUTE!!!
I love Genreaper, and your art got me back fully into it...
They're so adorable in your artstyle!!! I like how you. Kitty-cat-ify Genji that's super cute
Thank you! Here's some more then >:3
Meow Meow Meow Meow ♡
And here's a bonus I doodled while trying some brushes (If you don't like furs, don't click!):
#genreaper#reaper x genji#overwatch#genji shimada#carbonjelly replies#overwatch 2#deathblade#genji x reaper#i used to take fur commissions so yeah#but heck no i aint a furry nor do i enjoy it#but i do like kitty cats because i have 5 irl
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LMFAO the way daniel recognizes johnny instantly just from seeing his back, from several meters away mind you, after they (presumably) haven’t seen each other in decades, c’mon now
#love to watch ‘em go hate to see ‘em leave amiright fellas…?#is that how the saying goes i can’t remember#also daniel’s closeted gay man energy is insane in these first few episodes like holy shit#AINT LOVE A KICK IN THE HEAD LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN#i wish my irl friends liked this show so i could talk to someone about it 😭
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"Back by unpopular demand:"
"Us!"
#[*trips and falls to the ground like that one pepe frog meme but dramatically explodes into a million pieces instead* hi hi]#[i'll start by apologizing and thanking y'all for your patience bc wheew its been almost 2 months since my last post holy shittt]#[mental health along with intrusive thoughts and stuff have been absolute ass and still are right now]#[not gonna go into much detail bc i'm dealing with tons of bad stuff and negativity but yeah]#[at this point i aint even going to say 'im back!' bc everytime i do some even more terrible shit happens irl so naw]#[i also can't promise thread replies today bc i already know i'll likely not be able to finish any]#[but i will try to at least start working on some of them ;v;]#[other than that please feel free to send in stuff if you wish!]#[i haven't been around in so long that i feel completely rusty and out of the loop rn]#[but i think i'll start with the few asks i was unable to get to last time]#[if you guys who sent them see this: i'm sorry for the super looooong wait and thank you so much for your patience!!! <3]#[hope everyone's having a lovely day/night!!! <3]#;ic#(?#;ooc#(??#[the world will never truly know *x files music plays*]
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to the little piece of shit who changed my part in a group assessment cos she thought she was 'helping'
fuck you i hate you because you've submitted it now and i can't change it back i did it like that for a fucking reason and anyway its my part it has my name on it fuck off you little piece of garbage literally no one asked you to edit it go die in a hole because now its different and it is not how i wrote it literally i swear to god
#just a load of garbage#dont mind me yall#irls please ignore this#idk why but this bitch has been pissing me off so much lately#everyones like omg shes so nice and pretty#and like yeah but first of all shes friends with fucking avani and thinks shes great#second of all she literally has no personality whatsoever and has 0 opinions shes literally like tegs but no where near as nice#third bitch dont call me lele you dont have the right to do that only my friends do and you sure as hell aint one of them
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you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh
#you ever get so annoyed that you draw ur irl self instead of your epic swag yass slay pretty sona#i didnt stop shaving for any statement btw it just drains me to do it & i havent been in the mood for months LMAO#i think i'm so used to the comfort of being surrounded by ppl presenting however they want and calling themselves whatever#sometimes i forget how. binary everything still is where i live#note that aint trans btw. i was afab & i dont fully identify as that currently but i have no problem being called a girl#and due to Health Reasons(tm) i get hairier than one would consider 'normal' for a woman (among other things)#(listen we all know gender is a nuanced spectrum but im not in the mood to talk about it in the tags of my own blog lol)#that + short + fat + voice breaks sometimes + mostly wears 'gender neutral' clothing. been mistaken for a prebuscent guy sometimes#(i say 'gender neutral' but its just regular ass baggy shirts and pants/jeans. 💥)#and if y'know me personally youre prolly reading this like 'what'. and yeah thats my reality sometimes LMAO#and im spanish so things are Extra gendered >8'D#i dont even bother explainin my gender to family its just not worth it so i take the she/her and move on#usually i dont talk about these irl things bc whatever but it's starting to irritate me lol#like. do i have to fuckin shave just to not be misgendered. fuckin christ dude#i need to get my yearly haircut btw. i dont like long hair on myself. its getting warm & it makes me sweat i hate it 🧍♂️
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Dragon Age 2 | Marian Hawke + different hairstyles
#marian hawke#da2#marian hawke makeup#. my makeup#. my cosplay#dragon age2#marian hawke cosplay#da cosplay#dragon age cosplay#. okay i actually had a lot of makeup on but the lighting washed it all awaaay#. i also took pics with my real hair but oh well#. none of this looks like me irl so its strange i guess#. my gifs#. also i know this aint instagram and all just wanted to do a look i guess#. sometimes i be missing my long dark hair#. watch me being super shy about posting these because i am
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I do block blogs calling a canon bisexual character gay/lesbian. No I don't see it as a blanket term kind of way, yall have made sure of that.
#*points to the sign of every damn time this has happened* *points to the sign that just says 'bi lesbian' on it*#*points to when it happened to me irl & how i got erased out of my own identity and the thrown back into the straight category for being bi#*points to -#you get the picture i hope#if you dont then block me you already terf or damn near being one#yall cant handle bi lesbian (for which ive mulled over identifying with since im lately only interested in women)#like i know this isn't a blanket term issue#yall aint even saying 'lesbian relationship' which i do often pass by in good faith. your wording is 'thes lesbians' and one is a#canon bisexual character#its so obvious to me and im tired of it#sometimes i just want to go on canon lesbian character posts of these people and say the same thing back for canon lesbians but call them b#thatd hurt right? that be erasure right?#fuck yall bitch about erasure but are constantly doing it#aunt posting#canon bisexual characters#canon bi characters#canon bi character#*the lately has been about 3 years. time isnt real-real
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am fine
#fecking no i aint in tags lol#gosh i love my friends but man do i have a inferiority complex- and they dont exactly help with it-#like. today tryed join in with smth with making ocs cause friends already did that#was having a lil bit of fun trying mojo#and then another friend joined in and idk#i dont wanna sound mean but took it?#i was gonna make a charscter or smth planned out with heizou but they sorta took over my channel and made smth with him#which is fine im fine i just gosh#i feel so dumb and bad when others sorta take my spot#all my friends are so so good at character creation and figuring out lore fast and i just#i suck at it. i struggle so hard with writing and trying to get into characters heads#i suck at roleplay and usually go with whats funniest to me#i feel like a joke. they only just moved channels and its been an hour.#i know what i would have made wouldnt be half as good but i wanted to make something#and that got trampled. it really dosent help that i was sorta the art one and then a way better artist joined the server#i just- i know it dosent make sence but with it all i just feel useless? is that ok??#i want to make things and be as good as my friends with it but i alwase feel like im just worse. i wish my head worked right like all of#theirs do. i know i make good ideas and things. but thats after months and months of working out and revising#they make a whole coherant story in an hour. wile multitasking. how am i supposed to keep up with that??#i also just feel pathetic cause they are my only super close friends. one being only irl friend that dosent just feel like my brothers#and even then that friend is moving away soon. damn it i just wish i could be as good as them with something. anything#i dont wanna just be the silly younger sibling friend all the time. i dont wanna help just make jokes. i wanna make cool stuff like them#they all have their stuff so much more together and i just want to be decent compared to then on one thing#i just want one please.
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horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh
#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago#and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember)#and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him#do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao#and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that#everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it.#and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life#and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years.#sigh. anyway.#im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet#and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3#just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too?????#we're all grieving. i aint special.#i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl#thats what it looks like we're doing tonight#im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out#and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant.#not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been .#a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone.#sigh. im tired i need to go to bed#winter speaks#personal
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we need to talk about louis slapping damek's throat to get the vein to surface. who taught him that?! our baby girl would be gentle and would never be that aggressive. although it's very hot and sexy as he does it. it's giving playa 😈
is this what he's been learning in that penthouse or in the 70s? lestat wake up. your baby girl is turning into a macho man again. insert td jakes wake up video.
https://www.tumblr.com/losingbenni/712272651367989248/jacob-anderson-as-louis-de-pointe-du-lac
side note wassup w ur struggle ebonics my baby?? im struggling to get what u even tryna say here
#yn.#yn answers#Tho i do love me a good losingbenni gifset#louis in his penthouse deciding who he deems worthy of immortality .#v the ‘turn beautiful people’ thing…#Or is it louis finding beauty in the suffering of the poor? the voyeuristic vague posturing of ‘leftism’ in whats seen as ‘worthy’ of ‘stru#ggle#Or ‘worthy’ of being liberated from struggle & condemned to the dark gift#the arab. the coalminer. none of these ur ppl!!!#70s lou need to read some WALTER RODNEY!!!#DAN: did you do this bad thing? LOU: well. according to grayzone and the intercept#Like talk about deflection im jtfo#Maybe#He aint eat da baby. but he sholl is gone sip off this youngin right infront of u#& Me irl docs have a hard time finding my veins n shit#Lou gave damek a love tap compared to how some of these PAs n docs did me ina past lol#Hes no macho man here hes cosplaying eartha kitt. compromise? what is compromise? haha we bled lestat like a pig!!#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac
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well. i sat alone in my apartment on my couch all christmas. but i did draw myself wearing a cute outfit, so basically it was fine.
#personal#are those the chanel boots? yes they are of course they are what do you think i am#drawing myself blond in an attempt to goad myself into finally setting up that appointment to get my hair dyed#it USED to be blond#but then i dyed it blue and ever since then it decided to be brunet instead#yea anyway christmas kinda sucked#like. a lot.#heres to hoping the roads get plowed tomorrow -_-#fluffle art#reblog if you think i should wear this outfit irl#and then paypal me 1000USD so i can buy the chanel boots#jk i would save the money and spend it on something important#like the lps comic con cat#i aint no namebrand fashion freak#myself and my claires accessories are happy as we are
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I think this is the one show where I don’t care about shipping. Because LMK doesn’t really encourage you to ship since romance isn’t a key plot point here. Like the few ships I like are just kinda fun to think about or are just cute, but I won’t care too much about it otherwise. (Unless It’s ships like Shadowpeach that are discouraged, then I’ll care. I understand why people don’t like it, and I’m in the same boat.)
🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝 BIG SAME, MAN
LMK is SO MUCH about platonic relationships that honestly if i actually saw a romance plot pop up itd prolly feel like a straight up punch to the throat lskgmlsgl
not gon lie, i May be rotating inkypages and freesquidinknoodles like wild in my head here on tumblr but if i see even a sign of them possibly becoming canon im goin to be straight up fuckin sad rather than happy bout it
the only exception to this is prolly like freenoodles cuz like... lookit them. theyve been technically canon from the very beginning. its two older people loving each other n bein minor bitches to each other, its a dream come true
#Spot says stuff#the only ships i turn away aggressively from r yea shdwpch any more adult/older peep x ona the youngsters n funnily enough-#-im incredibly cautious bout peeps who ship skull/plum. like if its outside of the FT au im like 🤨#i really do appreciate the idea that LMK would be specifically only bout platonic relationships cuz like.. as someone who never really-#-learned how to make friends irl if lmk goes the way of exploring How to make a friend in the first place thru Red for exmaple its...#gon be of big help to me not gon lie. absence of any romance means deeper dive into friendships which i wish more shows did cuz like!!!#the damb thing is complicated!! i dont kno what the fuck exactly goes on in those!!!! the general friendship is magic or whatevs cartoons-#-aint helpin chief!!!!!!!!!! gimbe a shot of knowledge 👁
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“Thing is, even in a dress, I could kick a bloke’s arse anyday.”
#[u know those usually mental monologues of 'i could fight X amount of dudes and win' that ppl sometimes mocks us guys for??]#[this is one of those pretty much lol]#[wiiiith the difference that -minus the dress part- he can actually back these claims]#[bc he's kicked many asses in his lifetime]#[rotten zombie asses included]#[and counting... 🕶️]#[also this was slightly inspired on That One jonaeriwagon jojo quotes old post gfhgjhkj]#[all that aside... *clears throat. sticks leggy out and then falls down the stairs*]#[heeey everyone~~]#[i keep disappearing ik ik but in my defense: shit kinda hit the fan not long ago emotionally speaking]#[don't really want to talk much about it so i'll leave it at that]#[i also finished most of the projects i mentioned last time so as long as irl doesn't get in the way. activity should slowly resume]#[so it aint 100% guaranteed but i will do my best bc i really miss being around and being actually active here]#[hope everyone has been doing great!! <3]#[i'm like a week late but i also hope everyone had a fun and safe halloween!]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;ic
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.
#sometimes i wonder if i should just go by maryam professionally#i feel like this would extremely lower my chances of getting outed on accident lmao.#all my branding is centered on my renegaedz username anyway like if i switched over itd alter pretty much nothing.#my dad simultaneously being so neglectful but such a fucking busybody and all my transphobic irls literal only reason id need to do this.#in theory i would not have to have literal separate art identities to keep up the facade but then i would have to play a balancing game#but then this means letting everyone i know irl into my little zone lmaooo i hate everyone .#i hate so many of my irls lol you all make me so fucking mad and make me hate being trans so fucking much sometimes.#why do i have to compromise on who i am just so i can fucking exist#'what if i compromise on how i present myself so i dont need to worry about being open about my art ventures'#all this so i can be open to people who i went through hell for over a decade to#connect to who rejected me already just because im autistic . everyday im violent.#people who would want me to fucking die and spit on my existence forever if they knew i didnt hate gay people#let alone that im fucking trans haha ? hahaha yeah so true i should suck up forever and vie for the attention of people#who hate me already and keep me around to be nice#i hate everyone so fucking much sometimes honestly. you all act like youre on some moral warfront fighting against westerners pushing queer#as if historically queerness was pushed out of muslim communities and south asia because of FUCKING COLONIZATION#i fkjhckjhk يا الله the people on this earth are in their stupidity arc#i hate u all i hate u all . acting like we must fight to protect our communities but then turn a blind eye to how u hurt ur communities.#there aint no fucking queer epidemic and even if it WAS haram you know what is worse? fucking LYING. go worry about THAT#vent#sorry i am so insane rn i have suddenly gotten so mad for no reason lmao
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