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harryconcepts · 1 year

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part 47

and the sexiest part is that Harry would actually be so nice to your bf at first (he loves and respects anyone you're close with) until he sees how that guy treats you sometimes 😌 then he would immediately turn into the most condescending asshole, always one upping him and trying to show you that he's better 😌 treating you like a princess as always but to your bf? not happening 😌

harry is for sure into making you cum harder than he ever has before 🤕 he's gripping your thighs after you cum, holding your legs apart even as you're straining against him bc you're so sensitive 🤕 he noses along your sensitive skin, smiling when you gasp and he says "you're going to give me one more, okay? gonna make it even better than last time" and you're whimpering, trying so hard to catch your breath but he's not making it easy 🤕 and god if he thinks it wasn't as good as the last one you had? he's going again 🤕 he doesn't care how much you whine or try to squirm away he's just determined to pleasure you until you lose your mind 🤕

no literally he gets off on getting you off, every time he says "just a quickie babe I promise 😋" it ends up being 3 hours long and you cum 5 times bc he just can't keep his hands off you 😋 he loves when you turn into an oversensitive whining mess under him and how you look so pretty when you're fucked out like that 😋

him pouring you some champagne on your wedding night and he says "a glass for Mrs styles?" and you reach out for it saying "why thank you Mr styles" and he kind of just freezes in place, and you're like "what?" and he says "can you call me that again pls" and you're all ohhhhh maybe we've discovered a new kink of yours 😌

i love the idea of jack who's a little toxic and manipulative 😋 very yummy! him wanting a baby so bad but you're not quite sure yet, but whenever you argue he just kisses you until you quiet down 😋 then he pushes you down on the bed and sinks to his knees, pulling your panties off and moving your legs over his shoulders 😋 mouthing along your inner thighs saying "just want to give you a baby, honey, you know it'll feel so good when I do... please lovie? I'll take such good care of my girl when she's pregnant for me... such a sweet thing, always giving me what I want" and you stutter out "i don't- I'm not sure if-" and he just shushes you, kissing a little closer to where you want him, but avoiding it until you tell him what he wants to hear 😋 he would probably edge you a bit too, making it clear that you'll get exactly what you want as soon as he gets what he wants 😋

being Harry's gf but you have a little joke going on where he calls you his groupie 😋waiting for him backstage or in a VIP section, he for sure blows some kisses to you during the show 😋 then afterwards he has you escorted to his dressing room by security, and when he finally comes in to meet you it's ooooon 😋 he's unbuttoning his shirt bc he's covered in sweat and he says "fancy seeing you here... saw you screaming and cheering for me, you must be a big fan, hm?" and you get up off the couch, nodding as you walk closer and say "yeah, I'm your biggest fan" and soon you're chest to chest, but he keeps walking and before you know it your back is against the wall and he's caging you in 😋 he says "yeah?" and you nod, and your heart is pounding by now from how erotic this is, and you know he can tell bc he smirks and lays his palm on your throat 😋 not squeezing or anything, just enough to feel your heartbeat 😋 then he says "why don't i show you how I say thank you to my biggest fans?" and he drops to his knees 😋

i think Harry has a thing for feeling how he can get your heart to pound so easily 😋 all it takes is a few dirty words or a certain look or him trapping you under him and you're like 😳 and he's just so smug about that 😋 it's like a physical representation of how turned on you are 😋

yes your first time would be so soft and giggly 🥹you're so nervous at first until he does something dumb like bang his head on the headboard or almost fall over bc he's trying to get undressed so fast and then you can't help but laugh, and he looks over at you pretending to be offended but then he laughs too 🥹 when you really get into it he notices your hands are shaking just a little bit so he stops, taking your hand in his and pressing it to his mouth to kiss it 🥹 he says "you're shaking, baby, do you not want to do this?" and you're immediately like "no, no I do, I'm just- you just make me nervous" and he smiles a little bit saying "did you not just see me give myself a concussion on the headboard? i don't think anything about me exactly screams intimidating, does it?" and you're giggling with him, and he buries his face in your neck saying "just want to take care of my girl and make her feel so good, gonna let me do that?" and you nod, and he's smiling again as he kisses his way down your body 😌

lynnie this is unacceptable 🤕 he would be so mean to you after that, edging you and ruining your orgasms just to make you cry 🤕 when you get really whiny he slaps your thigh gently saying "you need to stop fucking whining, you did this to yourself baby... gave you one simple rule and you couldn't even follow it? you knew this was going to happen, so shut up and take it" 🤕

ugh please just think about your first time ever being with harry 🤕 you've been dating for a while and you know you want it to be with him 🤕 he's always so sweet and respectful when you push his hands away, he never gets upset or annoyed or anything he just kisses your cheek and grabs the remote to turn the TV on 🤕 and you haven't told him that you've never done it before, but you're pretty sure he can tell bc he's just perceptive like that 🤕 but then one day you decide you're ready and you want to be with him like that, so when you're kissing and it's getting really heated you plan to just let things go wherever they go, but harry realizes you're both getting pretty worked up and he doesn't want to push any boundaries so he pulls away 🤕 he's a bit out of breath and his lips are swollen and he can't stop staring at yours, but he says "baby we need- we need to slow down, I'm getting pretty worked up" and you whine, chasing his lips bc you're not done kissing him yet 🤕

he gives you one more bc he can never say no to you, but then he's pulling away again and he says "I'm serious, we need- I need you to tell me what you want so I can give it to you" and he's staring at you so intensely, your voice is shaking a little bit when you say "i want you, harry, i want to have sex with you" and his eyes go wide as he tries to process that you're finally saying that 🤕 but then you're nervously talking again and saying "but i haven't- I've never, um, done it before, so you're not allowed to make fun of me if I'm bad or I don't know what I'm doing-" and his brows furrow, he cuts you off saying "hey, hey, you know I would never do that... I would never make fun of you, not for anything, and especially not for this" and you're not quite meeting his eyes, so he grips your chin gently and turns your head to look at him saying "do you understand? need to make sure you know what I'm saying baby" and you nod, trying to match his deep breaths to help calm yourself down, and he says "we don't have to do anything you're not ready for, okay? there's no need to rush into things" and you shake your head, eyes still locked on his when you say "I'm not rushing into things, I want this- I want you" and he looks so happy to hear you say that 🤕 so he takes a deep breath and says "we can do whatever you want, okay? just want to make my girl feel good, that's all" and you nod, saying "and we can go slow?" and he leans in to kiss your cheek when he says "we can go as slow as you want, it's all about you" and you nod, but he can tell you still seem a bit nervous so he says "why don't we start easy? we can just kiss for a bit first, see how you feel after that?" and you think that sounds pretty great so you agree, and he leans in to kiss you again 🤕 he's doing everything he can to keep you feeling safe and calm, touching you so gently to help keep you grounded 🤕

soon he pulls away and says "wanna sit in my lap?" and that gives you the biggest butterflies 🤕 you agree and he helps you swing your leg over his to straddle him, and your faces are only inches apart when he smiles and whispers "hi" and you say it back 🤕 he kisses your nose, murmuring how cute you are, then he gets back to kissing you fully 🤕 soon you start to move your hips a little, he can't help but moan into your mouth bc it feels good and you pull away immediately, stopping your hips and blushing so hard 🤕 you say "sorry, i didn't mean to..." and he just furrows his eyebrows, saying "why are you sorry? it felt good, that's why i moaned" and your poor cheeks are stinging so much from how warm they are 🤕 and he's a menace so he keeps talking, just to tease a little, saying "you know, now that you've heard me moan, it would only be fair if I heard you, wouldn't it?" and your eyes go wide, you say "i can't just-" and he cuts you off saying "i know, that's not what i meant, I was thinking maybe I could help you out though?" and your head is still spinning foem all the kissing and how close you are to him right now, so you stare at him for a few seconds before he lets out a little huff and says "I'm saying I want to go down on you" and you're a little surprised at his bluntness, but honestly you're used to it by now 🤕 so you just nod and say "that sounds- sounds good" and he's smiling with the moooost evil look on his face as he says "hold on" but he barely gives you a second to process before he's flipping you over 🤕 he says "gonna let me see you? all of you?" and you nod, lifting your arms for him to pull your shirt off 🤕 he groans when he sees you're not wearing a bra, and he leans down to kiss your chest right away 🤕 saying "you've got the prettiest fucking tits babe, I'm so glad you're letting me see them" and he's already sucking hickeys into the skin there 🤕 when he sucks your nipple into his mouth he can feel your back arch, and he looks up to see you biting your lip so hard 🤕he says "you can let it out baby, I know you wanna moan, let me hear you" and you whimper a little bit, saying "it's too embarrassing" and he just says "promise it's not, you have no idea how bad i want to hear you" and you're still biting on your lip, but he figures that's okay, he'll get it out of you one way or another 🤕

so he leaves one more little lovebite before he starts kissing down your tummy, sucking on any sensitive spots he finds and biting occasionally to make you jump 🤕 when he gets to your waistband he looks up at you asking if he can take them off, and you nod so fast and lift your hips to help him out 🤕 he's immediately kissing at your thighs, leaving even more hickeys for you to remember him by tomorrow 🤕 he leans in a bit close to where you want him and takes a deep breath, nearly moaning again as he says "you smell so good baby, bet you taste even better... gonna let me try it? let me have a taste?" and you're nodding, saying "yes, I want to feel you, want you to make me feel good" and he says "don't worry about that baby, I'm gonna make you feel so good" and he buries his face between your thighs 🤕 you're gasping right away, arching your hips up bc it feels so good but he just grips onto you and pushes you back down 🤕 holding you still by your hips so you can't squirm around, and he's being so filthy and making such a mess 🤕 moving his face from side to side so he'll be completely coated in your wetness 🤕 trying different patterns on your clit to see what makes you fight against his hold the most 🤕 and ugh the whole time he would be making the filthiest noises 🤕 moaning and groaning against you like he's the one being pleasured 🤕 he only quiets down when he hears a soft little moan out of you, because he wants to be able to hear you better 🤕 he doubles down to get you to make that noise again, dipping his tongue inside to reach more of the honey you're dripping for him while his nose brushes against your clit 🤕 then he moves back up and suctions his lips around your clit, sucking harder than before and you really moan 🤕 he's never been more turned on than he is hearing that, and he can't help but moan back 🤕

and ofc you can feel the vibrations against you which only makes you moan and arch your back more, and it's just a filthy cycle 🤕 soon you're grabbing onto his hair and trying to push him a little closer and gasping out "I'm close, I'm gonna cum, just don't- don't stop, please don't stop" and he barely acknowledges you, he just keeps sucking 🤕 then your legs tense up around him and your grip on his hair gets almost painful, but he only uses that to bury his face deeper in you as he licks up every last bit he can🤕 then you're pulling him away bc it's too much and too sensitive, and he can't help himself but give you one last kiss on your clit which makes you flinch 🤕 finally he pulls away, licking his lips so can taste as much as possible as he comes up to kiss you 🤕 and you can taste yourself on his mouth which is almost enough to make you want to go again 🤕

but not quite, you're very worn out after that, and he can tell with how lazy your kisses are getting, so he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours saying "well how was that?" and you just sigh, pulling him a little closer to say "so fucking good" and he smiles, noticing how droopy your eyes are getting and he says "I'm glad to hear that... told you i just want to please my girl" and you nod, letting your eyes close for a second before you open them again and say "we don't have to stop, we can-" and he shakes his head, smoothing back your hair to say "not right now, you're looking pretty tired, baby, and there's no rush to get anything done... you can sleep for a little while, I don't mind" and that sounds so good, and he's so warm and cozy and cuddled up to you, and before you know it your eyes are closing and you're out 🤕 and harry gives you one last gentle kiss on your forehead before he falls asleep too, pressed up against you so you'll be as close as possible 🤕

thinking about how harry 100% has a size kink 🤕 he's obsessed with how much bigger he is than you, how he can throw you over his shoulder whenever he feels like it and how he can pin both of your hands with just one of his 🤕 how he can throw you around and put you in whatever position he wants you in 🤕 and when he's fucking you? he'd be so mean about it 🤕 pushing down on your stomach and saying "I don't know if you can take me baby, you're just so small" "gonna feel me so deep in your tummy, hm?" and you whine and argue that you can take it, he's teasing saying he's not sure but when he finally pushes in he's holding your hips in place when you try to squirm and saying "nuh uh, you wanted this so bad so I'm giving it to you, be a good girl and take it" 🤕

i bet harry is obsessed with you after you cum 🤕 my pussy hurts just thinking about this 🤕 he loves the way you're shaky and breathing so hard and how you cuddle so close to him and get so needy for him to be close and how you smell like pure sex and just ugh 🤕 that's part of why he loves making you cum so much: just bc of the way you act afterwards 🤕

I'm going to cry thinking about how harry eating you out is truly a full experience 😔thinking about the way he breathes in short gasps bc he's too into it to breathe normally 😔 the absolute filthy noises that would fill the room from how wet you are and the way he moans against you 😔 the way he would hold you down when you're moving too much 😔 how his face would be wet bc he's so messy with it 😔 how he would keep going after you cum, trying to make you cum again even when you're so oversensitive 😔

thinking about going to a bar with your bf and some friends, and ofc harry is included in the little group so he's there too 😌 a few people decide to play pool and you want to join them, but you're not very good at it so you ask your bf to help you out, but he just kind of rolls his eyes and keeps talking to his friend at the table. Harry's watching the whole interaction ofc and he sees how sad you look when your bf just brushes you off like that, so ofc he's walking right over to you and saying "don't be sad pretty girl, I'll help you out😌" and he does just that 😌 he puts his arms around you, showing you how to hold the cue, holding your hands over top of it and whispering directions in your ear 😌 he says "then... we line it up... and.... go for it!" and he's obviously doing all the work, but when the ball goes exactly where he wanted it to he's cheering and spinning you around to high five him 😌 he says "see? you're a natural!" and you look so happy, he knows he would do absolutely anything for you if it would make you smile 😌 then he glances over and sees your bf watching the two of you, looking royally pissed off, so Harry decides to step it up another notch and kiss you on the cheek 😌 you're so happy (and maybe you have the slightest crush on Harry) so ofc you don't mind, you're smiling and laughing with everyone else, and harry makes eye contact with your bf for a few seconds before he picks up the cue and puts his arms around you again 😌

.......... sitting on his lap facing him when he's sitting like that ......... maybe you got in a petty little argument earlier and he's still a little mad at you, but you're over it so you're trying to make him not so mad anymore 😋 he's leaning back, not touching you, his face is neutral and he's willing himself not to get hard but he can't help it when you're all pretty on his lap like this 😋 you have your arms around his neck and you're whispering how sorry you are, leaning in to kiss at his neck and grinding down on him lightly just to make him lose his mind 😋 soon he huffs and grabs your hips, leaning forward to say "you've been mean to me all day and now you want me to touch you?" and you nod sweetly, he sighs and says "you always get what you want, maybe that's why you're such a brat" and flips you over so he can be on top 😋

harry is such a nasty filthy whore the first time you're together 🤕 saying "you're so wet for me, bet you didn't get this wet for him, did you?" and he spits in your mouth and slaps you around a bit bc he can tell you like it 🤕

harry for sure occasionally gets in a very feral mood and just wants to fuck you until you cry 🤕 and when you do he pouts in a mocking way and says "poor thing, it's just too much for you isn't it? I'm just making you feel too good" and wipes the tears away with his thumb as he's literally still inside of you 🤕

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles

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pup-in-transit · 1 year

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It's always deeply amusing to me to see conservatives blather on about "The Dangers of Transgenderism™️" and the usual horseshit about grooming and coercion. In truth, the trans community goes out of their way to make sure folks are making as informed a choice as possible. I've been blessed to have made connections with kind and intelligent people who have been through the system, know how it works, and are willing to share their knowledge with others.

To that end, i have to ask myself a question: Is bottom surgery worth it for me? The overwhelming consensus from the folks I know who are post-op have said it was worth it for them, but there's a bit of an asterisk next to that. They want to be sure I and other folks in my situation don't romanticize surgery. Complications and revisions happen, and pain is pretty well gaurenteed. I trust them when they say the first few months will be deeply unpleasant, and I want to carry myself with that expectation.

Out of respect for the privacy of this community, I will be speaking very generally about what experiences I should expect, and speak about no one except myself in this post. With that out of the way, what are the cons, difficulties, and hardships I need to be prepared for?

Cost. I'm fortunate that the cost of my surgery will be covered 100% by my provincial insurance. What is not covered is travel and accommodation. Since I'm not willing to wait up to four years for surgery in BC, I'm placing myself on the waitlist for GRS Montreal instead. Hotels and flights are not cheap, so I'll have to see what supports and resources I can bring in to help me pay for it.

Loneliness. I have absolutely zero family or friends in Quebec. I think the closest friend I have to that province lives in Kitchener, Ontario. That's about a six hour drive - I checked. It would be unreasonable for me to ask her to see me in Montreal, let alone to ask anyone from BC. My husband is willing to come help me, but since we both have bills and obligations we can't gaurentee that he'll be able to. I have to be prepared to be on my own if it comes to that.

The plane ride home. Good christ, this will be hard to navigate. I'm not 100% sure what my pain med schedule is going to be, so that will impact how comfortable this will be. Sitting down on is going to be painful, and I want to be sure I don't reopen any stitches in that crowded plane. How do I go about that? Great question! Just wish I had a great answer.

Complications and revisions. The technique at GRS Montreal is a single procedure, apparently performed with three surgeons in the room. While I love that it's quick, it doesn't leave a lot of room for revisions if I don't like the aesthetic, nor for any corrective work if there are complications. Also, since the wait for services in BC is pretty long I may have to travel back to Montreal for care if anything like that happens, which will not be cheap.

Dilation. For the first month I'll be dialating four times a day, then three times for month two & three, twice for months four to six, and then once daily until the twelfth month. I'd prefer to get a full six months off of work to best accommodate this, but the standard seems to be going back to work by month four. Twice daily dilations are going to be difficult to manage given my work schedule and long commute. If I can't get those extra two months, I'll have to negotiate a change in my work hours.

Sexual functionality. I likely will be capable of orgasming after everything is said and done, but I'll have to work at it and re-learn how to do that with my new genitals. It'll be a long and frustrating process, and there's not much I can do about it other than try and be patient.

I'm writing this out with the same motivation that the trans folks I'm connected with brought this up had. It's a reminder in good faith that this is not an easy process, which to me is an important part of the support I want to seek out from my community. I want to understand what I'm getting myself into, and they have been gracious not to sugarcoat the reality of it.

After everything is said and done I still want a vaginoplasty, and I still want to go to Montreal to do it. These are problems with solutions. All I have to do is find out what those are.

#trans #enby #queer #introspection #dysphora relief #dysphoria #gender dysphoria #genderqueer #transition journey #non binary dysphoria

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taegularities · 1 year

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Hello, lovely Rid 💕💕

I'm sorry in advance for being a little negative but I have the urge to vent a little and since you make me feel so comfortable and understood, I'm coming to you 😔😔😔

You know that feeling when you have so many things that you want to do that you just end up doing nothing? Well that's basically how I've been feeling this whole time while I was on my two week break from uni. And what makes it worse is that all of those things I wanted to do were things I do for fun and not ones I have to. I've just kind of been really overwhelmed with the amount of content coming out from various places (including bts) and that's made me feel a little burnt out I think? I also used to read books and watch movies so much more often than I have been recently. And there are so many lovely fics that I've wanted to check out but I just haven't had the motivation to do any of that 😔😔😔 And I know that now that I've started school again it will get worse before it gets better until I set up a new routine with my new schedule. It feels a little silly to be complaining about something like this but it's something that's been making me sad for a while now and today it hit especially hard for some reason (probably because I'm getting my period 🙄🙄🙄)

I never make myself do things that I don't really want to do, so I guess I'll just take it easy like I've been doing until the motivation comes again. Maybe now that I'll be busier with uni, it will make me want to do my hobbies more in my free time 🤔🤔🤔

Anyway, Rid, thank you so much for listening and creating a space in which I feel so safe and comforted. I really appreciate it, especially in times like these 💞💞💞

How are you doing, lovely?

dearest ivi <3 you radiate nothing but positivity around here, so it's okay to feel down sometimes. don't apologise for it, okay? 💕

i don't think any of what you said is silly, quite honestly. i absolutely know where you're coming from, and i think it's not unusual! after graduation, i felt really good bc i thought i could indulge in hobbies a little more. i drew, painted and wrote again after months, but even all that became draining after a while.

since you finished exams and an entire semester, maybe what your body needs is absolute rest. and with that i mean stuff that you absolutely do not need your brain for. when we watch movies or read books and fics, we're still focusing, right? maybe you could try going for a long walk, or get lunch/dinner with friends, or make a long playlist and listen to it?

and yes, i'm happy you added the last bit bc definitely, definitely do not force yourself to do anything you don't feel like doing! like, even if it's a hobby you love, when your body says no, that's okay. sometimes we just don't have the energy to do stuff, you know? i'm sure you'll adjust to your schedule, and once you have, take your time for hobbies whenever you feel the urge to (you're right, sometimes we crave free time more when we don't have it lol so it'll be okay!). if you ever feel like you can't, just take a rest (that includes my fics btw !! i know i tag you, but it's okay to take your time <3).

don't worry, yes? we go through weird funks sometimes that we can't quite figure out, but i promise it gets better. and if it doesn't, you can vent anytime, bc i know even getting it off your chest helps a lot. i'll be here anytime, and i actually feel very very flattered that you consider me a safe and comforting place/person 🥺 sending love and hugs, always 🫂🤍

i'm okayish, love! i'm feeling unproductive and overwhelmed at once – idk what that strange mood is, but my mind's been very foggy these days, and i've not been sleeping well. but hey, as i said – we'll get out of this !! 💕

#love you <3 #notes for rid 🌹#ivi <3 #long ask

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artekai · 2 years

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Family, Pancake and Hibiscus for Fross??

Ooooh, great questions! :D Thank you friend!!!! <3

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

Fross was born in the Netherlands circa the year 2046 to a working single mom called Tess Meijer. He was an only child, so it was just the two of them, until Tess died in an accident when Fross was around 7-8. I'm thinking car accident but that's not written in stone (this does take place in the future so I would have to consider the state of the transport industry in the early 2050s and I really don't like working with the future... :/)

Anyways! I haven't hashed out any of the details, but tentatively, Tess used to be friends with Lis, who introduced her and Fross to Tilda (which means. our girl Tess has SOME CONNECTIONS in all caps lol). When Tess died, Tilda, being an orphan, saw parts of herself in Fross and ended up taking him in. That's how Fross Meijer became Fross van der Meer, and also a multi billionaire's son.

So it has always been just Fross and his mom, whether his bio one or his adoptive one. Tilda dated Lis for a while, but I don't think Fross ever considered her part of the family... I could even take it one step further and say he might not even consider Tilda his family.

At first, I'm sure it was the trauma from losing his mom and being in a new and uncertain situation and all that, but now it's just Fross not making any effort to connect with Tilda. And a big part of it might be ideological differences. You see, Tilda is "not like the other Zeniths," while Fross is content following in their footsteps. He loves indulging in VR, he loves the idea of digital immortality, he looks down on the rest of humanity, all the things Tilda criticizes about the other Zeniths. (not that Fross likes the other Zeniths as people, because he doesn't. He's just part of the herd)

But Fross still owes everything to Tilda. He would've never become a Zenith in the first place if it weren't for her. He would've never gone to space, he would've never become immortal, he would've never met Kai. And I'm 100% convinced that, if it weren't because Tilda's still there, the other Zeniths would've killed Fross just like they killed Osvald Dalgaard (I'm so sorry for throwing so many canon character names around, it'll happen again 😔)

Fross and Tilda generally prefer to keep to themselves (because they got used to being alone?) so it's not a surprise that they're so distant. But I think Fross starts seeing eye to eye with Tilda once he falls in love with Kai (because I'm not normal about Tildaloy and Frosskai mirroring each other haha lol). So, I do think Tilda and Fross become closer after coming back to Earth. Moreover, I like to imagine they have a heart-to-heart after betraying the Zeniths and before infiltrating the Zenith base, so... when Fross dies, he's on good terms with Tilda at least :')

(Tess is another story. Oh, if Tess were here to see who her son has become... Fross has forgotten about her, anyway. Just like he has forgotten everything about his life on Earth)

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

Oh, I have no idea what the Zeniths ate. I don't think canon ever mentions anything about it? They probably grew their own food in the Odyssey, idk 🤔 I'll have to give it some more thought, haha. But I do know Fross has expensive taste and hates everything Kai offers him (but he eats it anyways bc. what can you do when you're hiding from the other Zeniths?). But I think he eats very little. He doesn't need a lot of energy.

🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?

Garlic :)

Maybe a pollen allergy too. You know how they say that, if you're not very exposed to a certain thing, you could increase your chances of developing an allergy because then your immune system will have a harder time recognizing it? Well, I'm no expert or anything but I still wouldn't be surprised if Fross developed one or two extra allergies during his time in space. Just saying. He's probably not having an easy time on Earth.

#ask tag #wildcard-rumi #oc: fross #oc: tess meijer #oc tag #horizon au #sorry for going off about his family!! but thanks a lot for giving me a chance to ramble about it!!! :D #i'm so insane about him. i could fix him. he could make me worse. we could enable each other <3

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jakesimfromstatefarm · 3 years

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notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

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Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

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kyuala · 3 years

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hi my love !!! may i request a smut fic .. with car sex ?? for wonjin ??? thank you so much and good luck with your blog !!! <3🤍

car sex with wonjin

a/n: hi sweets!! thanks for requesting! chose to do this in headcanon format as full fics are not in the list of writings i'll do for requests. hope u like it anyways!

warnings: mature content. ham wonjin being infuriating.

♡ in ALL HONESTY.... the experience of car sex with wonjin would probably begin before y'all even get in the car.

♡ wonjin just has a natural talent and a passion for Teasing People and with you he would take that to the next level bc well... he also gets to have sex at the end 😶

♡ so he would probably be teasing you when you're out and about, doesn't really matter where, doesn't really matter who you're with, doesn't really matter what you're doing - he will tease you.

♡ and i can reallyyyy see wonjin being an all-rounder at this. now, hear me out - not only does he use touch and glances to tease, he will also use his words to achieve that. and trust me, he will know what to say bc he has a built-in sensor that allows him to pick up on what drives you crazy the fastest. i'm sure of it

♡ but he would definitely play innocent in front of other people. while he's not exactly hiding his nastiness from, say, his friends, he'll also try to keep this as low-key as possible, just between the two of you. it's part of his little game

♡ if you tease him back, however, it's game over. seriously expect him to whine for like 3 seconds before grabbing you by the wrists and making a DASH

♡ cue wonjin screaming THANKS FOR THE NIGHT EVERYBODY WE HAD A LOT OF FUN BUT I'M NOT FEELING THAT WELL WE'RE HEADING HOME NOW and you being dragged behind him like 😳❓

♡ anyways. the whole way to the car he'll be like "i can't believe you did this to me. in front of my own friends. you just couldn't wait to have me huh" and ur like EXCUSE me???

♡ he'll act brand new. that is also one of his natural talents.

♡ in the car however.... dude it's another story

♡ if the idea comes from you he will take 5 seconds to mock you for being so desperate and wanting to fuck him so bad, just saying

♡ if the idea to fuck in the car doesn't come from you though it'll surely come from him bc dude doesn't play around and he 👏🏼 does 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 care 👏🏼

♡ like, if you're parked somewhere no one can see you.... he'll really try to get it in right then and there, it's all up to you

♡ if you're already driving home just say the word and he'll already be turning the GPS on trying to find the most narrow little street he can and heading there

♡ he will not care for getting in the backseat. he just doesn't have the time or decency to do so

♡ you: wonjin there's just more space back there

♡ wonjin: what do we need more space for a part of me is ACTUALLY going to be inside you if anything we need less space come to think of it

♡ will actually try to reason with on this, just let him be

♡ anyways, he kinda expects you to make the first move? like he'll really turn off the car and just look at you like the ball's in your court. will try to entice you with words and subtle touches though, like softly caressing your thighs until you can't take it anymore

♡ feels really proud of himself, like, every time

♡ i don't think he would want to spend that much time on foreplay for either of you because of the... situation you find yourselves in, but will definitely do whatever you want him and ask him to do

♡ will want you to ride him in the driver's seat and will want it to be fast. deliberately closes all the windows so it gets steamy in there and holds your body as close to his as humanly possible. he wants it to feel desperate and urgent

♡ the most he'll do is squeeze your ass really hard all the time, but pull his hair and he'll be in heaven

♡ he would also want to keep kissing you the whole time and only stop to make out from time to time, like this really is about showing how much you can't get enough of each other, no matter where you are, no matter what time is. it's about the desire for him

♡ hmmmm bite his lip also. like, they were made for it

♡ will get loud when he starts getting close, isn't really ashamed of it. like you can tell him he just doesn't care who could hear it lmao

♡ will do whatever it takes to get you there as fast as possible too. like this really is about that feeling of urgency to get some relief for him

♡ after you both cum he will want to stay in each other's embrace for a little while as you catch your breaths though bc he is a big softie, especially for you.

♡ he does this every time you two finish having sex but he'll kinda smile to himself and tell you he's marrying you

♡ he feels really accomplished afterwards for having sex with you in a car but he'll keep that on the low for now

♡ keeps talking about how you just spent him the entire way home

♡ ....only to then go inside and try to fuck you again 🥴

main masterlist | cravity masterlist

#cravity smut #cravity scenarios #cravity headcanons #cravity imagines #cravity reactions #cravity x reader #wonjin smut #wonjin scenarios #wonjin headcanons #wonjin imagines #wonjin reactions #mari.doc #thank u for wishing me luck w the blog hehe 😚

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zellacchan · 4 years

Text

TANAKA APPRECIATION DAY STARTS NOW

-THIS WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT HIM IS PERFECTLY WRITTEN, THE IMPACT IS BEAUTIFUL, AND I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH MORE.

-TANAKA DOESN'T GIVE UP. that thought alone seems boring when you read it just like that, right? but this episode, ugh, man. it surfaced a whole new concept, you'd think the character was a genuine human, a real person from this world.

-how, exactly? let's start with the things that happened to Tanaka-senpai. ‘‘embarrassment. failure. yet despite that-you refused to give in, and you constantly repeated that in your mind. yet you still ended up getting even more disappointed than you initially were. nothing was going smoothly, and you didn't know why. 'it's okay. i'll keep going, it'll be alright.' you result to self encouragement, because it really isn't the time to feel down, just stay positive. force yourself to be.’’ was the type of situation he was in. normally, a person would give in to the despair, the negativity their mind kept bringing to them. because, i mean, what else could they do? everything was going wrong right in front of their eyes. and when they tried bringing themselves up again, their own teammate refused to help. getting them to toss to you after you called for one could've been the chance to redeem yourself, but no, it didn't. in a normal situation, you'd think ‘okok they might have a plan/they prolly have a better chance at scoring’ or ‘psh maybe next time.’ or even go ‘asjdjfjfj that was embarrassing!’ pretty much any thought, usually it wouldn't give a huge impact to you, and you're able to brush it off after a couple minutes then focus on the game again. but if its like the situation Tanaka was in? completely different scenario. it's likely to give more than a stab to your morale. could even serve as the final blow. even Bokuta-san knew this, as seen from how he passed out afterwards watching them. (maybe it's due to the relief that karasuno scored, tho his attention mostly focused on Tanaka, as once again shown from his reaction after Tanaka earned a point. plus the fact that he was aware of how he, himself would act if he's in Tanaka's position.) but, did that 'deal the final blow'? did it finally make him give up? nope, it didn't. (part of the credit goes to our sunshine child Shoyo, thank hEAVENS for this angel.) and even if Shoyo wasn't there to encourage him, i doubt he would've acted differently. it takes such an impossible amount of mental strength to survive those kind of life difficulties, moreover in sports. s p o r t s, where one mistake could ruin everything. and Tanaka-san had that strength. it merely showed it's pique on the very end, but he had it from the very beginning. hence, again, i doubt a different outcome—and i find that so so beautiful, bc honestly, let's be realistic here. not a lot of people could do that. they may try, but they can only reach so far before giving in. Tanaka was one of those rare gems, and this episode was incredibly inspirational about it. i just can't say that enough. it's anime, fictional. yet the emotions, the struggles and how it was depicted were more than on point, and that's why it's capable of such impact. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

-i dare say more; let's move onto his quotes. “i'm nothing but average. but still, my average self.. do you really have time to look down like that?” ohmygod. this needs to be my life motto. Tanaka-senpai you outstandingly positive man, i crave for his attitude-his viewpoint, way of dealing with sitautions and everything. it's so cool and awesome and just aAAAAA, how?! how is one capable of such thoughts?? please teach me. i beg of you. “i'm pretty sure i'm a normal human being. especially when it comes to my build and abilities. when i was a kid, i was convinced i was a genius. i might've thought that until i was in middle school. actually, i'm still sorta convinced that i am. but i'm probably never going to be 180cm tall. i'm confident in my athletic skills. but on our volleyball team, i'm not number one in anything at this point in time. but that's not a reason to quit, nor is it an excuse.” i'm screaming. just slapped the perspective and words i've longed to hear. what an ace, Tanaka-senpai deserves that title so much. it fits so perfectly. “as long as i keep trying until i can do it... i can actually do it!” yes, thank you, Tanaka-senpai, Furudate-sensei, for proving that giving up is just an illusion of success. once you've tried enough and you can finally do it, you've finally done it. it's possible.

I REPEAT, TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE DESERVES SO MUCH APPRECIATION. HE'S SUCH A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN CHARACTER, AND WE ALL SHOULD SHOWER OUR LOVE TO HIM.

p.s i wrote this on the spur of the moment, (milliseconds after the episode ended) pardon if i dont make sense<3 just love tanaka ryuunosuke<3 thats all you need to know<33

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

Shake It Off

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 6

"She danced to forget him"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark Tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 2,404

Warnings: as always language, Hydra, angst, mentions of and alludes to sex.

A/N: I really hope this series won't flop because I wrote all of the chapters before I started posting, and like I put so much of myself in this series- I just really hope it'll go well. This chapter is shorter because but it is much needed. I didn't post last week bc of the writers content freeze week, so here it is.

A/N2: the dividers were made by the awesome @chrissquares and @nacho-bucky beta read all of it!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

Song on Spotify and YouTube

Steve's arms were around you as your tears stained his shirt, it must have been midnight by now. You came to his doorstep a little after Loki left you again. You knew what you were in for the second you agreed to the temporary bliss that he gave you, but you didn't expect all these old emotions to come back when he would leave you.

"I thought I'll be able to handle it. I thought it'll be worth the rush."

"It's alright darling, I know." You didn't see the angry frown between his eyebrows or his clenched jaw. He couldn't let the anger on the god get the best of him right now, you needed him more now- you needed comfort in a friend. After everything that happened, you knew you would always find safety in his embrace.

"Steve, did you know what he is?" you murmured into his neck a little while later.

"What do you mean?" pulling back he took a good look at your face, and you knew he could see every tear stain on your face and you wished you could hide yourself from him.

"That he is…" you didn't quite know how to describe it, your mind a bit fuzzy. "Blue."

"Oh, yeah we knew that."

"Wait, everyone knew that?" he started to rub your arm, the soft touch made your skin prickling from the cold with goose bumps spreading all over.

"There are a lot of things about him that you don't know Y/N, I really was just trying to protect you from him and from this pain." You nodded at him.

"I wish I'd listened to you sooner. I can't believe I didn't know anything, what else is there?"

You saw his mouth gape but no words came out.

"It's a lot, I'll tell you some other time." By the look on his face you knew you won't be getting any answers now. Nodding, you put your head back down.

"Can I stay here tonight?" you sniffled and thanked him for the tissues he gave you with a smile. You couldn't hear the answer he gave you between blowing your nose. "Can you repeat that please?"

He laughed at you but answered regardless, you were too adorable to deny.

"Of course, kid."

•

The loud beat made it hard for you to hear Natasha who was standing right next to you. It's been a couple of weeks now, and the noisy distraction of the club worked perfectly to take your mind off of anything else.

"What did you say?" you covered the top of the glass in your hand with your other hand, leaning forward to Nat.

"I said maybe we should get out of here, it's already pretty late and Wanda is drunk and you know what happens when she is drunk-"

"Things start to float and gravity is non-existent, yeah I know." You looked around the club, your eyes catching that of a dark eyed handsome man. "The two of you can go; I can take care of myself."

When you saw the two of them walk outside you went towards the beautiful gentleman.

Waking up to the sunshine you looked back at the sleeping man next to you, happy to find him still asleep you groaned at the headache when you got up. You collected your clothes from the floor, panicking for a second when he started to wake up but you quickly put him under, and you were out of the door soon after.

They never stayed, but neither did you. You heard the things people started saying about you in the Tower when they saw you coming back in the morning mostly alongside a sweaty Bucky who was back from a run and a worried Steve who tried to stay silent about how you were dealing with everything that happened.

They didn't like the amount of guys you hooked up with and left a day or so later. To you it was a nice pace but you knew the high of the alcohol and sex wouldn't last long, you needed something different. Plus, it wasn't your fault that they weren't interesting enough.

"Agent Y/N?" you heard the voice behind you coming into the room you sat in with Sam, planning the next stakeout.

"Yes? Oh hi Mike, what have you got for us?" the guy smiled at you and nodded towards the falcon.

"I have the schematics of the whole area that Agent Romanoff asked me to bring you." He handed you the folded papers and when your fingers lightly brushed his it was as if a light bulb lit up in your head.

Sitting back down you leaned forward with a smile.

"So, you said Natasha sent you to bring me these papers?" he nodded at you and you handed the papers to Sam. "Well that's very nice of you and I actually wanted to speak to you so it's a nice coincidence. Would you like to go out to dinner sometimes?"

Sam choked on his drink and made a lazy excuse to get out of the room.

"Really, you want to go out with me?" You couldn't help but actually find him cute when he wasn't as shy now as usual.

"Yeah, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to." He flashed you a smile at that, and that's how it all started.

•

It was a month later when you walked with Mike down a park with ice cream cones in your hands. He intertwined your free hands together.

Looking at him now, it was simple to see that he is sensible and incredibly nice too, you knew he is everything a girl could dream of getting.

The two of you were close now to the Tower and the charming guy that he is he opened up the door for you to walk in first. When you were inside you kissed him goodbye as he headed back to his department from his break that he spent with you.

You turned around, only to notice Steve leaning back against the wall of the elevator, waiting for it. You cleared your throat when you got closer, not looking forward to have a talk with Steve that surely will come.

It started the moment the elevator doors closed behind the two of you.

"So, you've been dating this guy for about a month now, right?" he started casually and you only nodded.

"Mike seems like a really good guy actually, I know you didn't want to talk with me about him especially after-"

"After what?" you scoffed. "After Loki left? I have Mike now, and he is much better than him."

"Well it's good to hear you're happy now. He reminds me of the guys back in my time."

"Old?"

"Gentlemen."

"Well he is, it's only been a month but I couldn't have asked for anything better."

"According to Tony, he is an excellent employee too." The smirk on his face didn't go unnoticed.

"You did a background check on him? You can't just do that!"

"Stark and I just wanted to see some stuff. Plus, he is Tony's employee so he can do background checks anytime he likes."

"You guys are horrible." You grumbled and attempted to punch Steve's shoulder but it ended up hurting your fist. You huffed in frustration when he laughed at you.

•

Another month went by and you found yourself keeping busy whether it was with training, or missions or going out with Mike and your friends. This week though was blank of anything to do. Steve banned you from the gym, saying that you're working out too much, which caused the stubborn father and daughter to spar with the loser doing whatever the winner wanted them to do. Bucky looked exasperated at the two of you from the sides, and you heard a Thank God being murmured when Steve finally pinned you to the ground and won.

In your room you decided to clean it up a bit. By cleaning you really mean redesigning your whole room while making a total mess and reminiscing on old stuff. Going through your dresser you found some old jewelry boxes, opening one you saw old stuff you used to wear and sorting through them would probably be for the best.

That's when there was a knock at your door, turning around you saw Mike standing there.

"Oh hi, what are you doing here?"

"Captain Rogers let me up, I just wanted to see you and ask if you wanted to maybe come to my apartment after work?"

"Sorry about the mess, I'm in the middle of cleaning." You left the box jumped over piles of things to reach him and give him a soft kiss. "Yeah sure that sounds great."

"I know we said that we would take this slow, but I was kind of hoping we could take this to the next level." A boyish grin spread on his face and you felt gentle kisses as he nestled his face in your throat. "What do you say?"

"Yes. I'd love that." You kissed him back then until he had to go back to work.

Quickly, you closed all the boxes and put them back in their place, forgetting all about reorganizing. Now you have a more exciting thing to do.

•

You woke up the next day to a soft snoring behind you, and an arm wrapped around your waist. The sun was barely out yet, leaving the room with a small glow of orange and red.

You saw your dress on the floor of his room and felt the soft sheets covering you, shivering you pulled them closer and tried to close your eyes to get a little bit more rest.

"Are you sure, darling?" Loki had asked you then when the two of you were barely dressed and breathing heavily between kisses.

"I'm more than sure, Loki I want you." He stopped kissing your neck and pulled back which made you whine and pull at his shoulders.

"Do you think you can handle a god, my love?" you wished you could wipe out the smirk on his face, which is what you did when you pulled yourself up to claim his lips with yours.

"I've handled you this far, so for the love of the gods just fuck me, please." You whimpered at the end of the sentence when you felt his hands start to roam your skin.

"As you wish, my dear." Loki will forever give you anything you ask for.

You woke up with the sunshine painting the room golden as you backed up against the warm chest behind you. You've never felt this warm before, with the man who took over your heart and soul and the love marks he left on you- claiming you. You could still feel the bliss from last night engulfing you with him in this room.

"Did you sleep well?" you turned to the dark haired prince who held a smile that matched yours. Sleep still hang between his eyes.

"Perfect." He pulled you in and suddenly you weren't tired anymore.

The man next to you was still asleep when he changed his position, turning to his other side. You sank deeper into the bed, letting the memories drown you until sleep took over.

•

Yet another month flew by and you could barely remember any of it. Yes there were some successful missions against Hydra, and there were some less successful ones too. In between you went on more dates with Mike and he definitely helped you.

"So I planted a virus in his computer that changed all of his autocorrect!" you burst out laughing at the end of his story.

"And you did all of that because he stole your girl?" he nodded and you laughed harder. "No one can steal a girl, a girl leaves if she wants to. If she left you for someone else then she didn't deserve you."

Your hand was on his thigh and he put his over it with a small chuckle.

"Maybe, but I am certainly not going to let you go." He kissed your knuckles. "I've liked you for a long time you know, and not just as a colleague."

"So I've been told."

"Oh?"

"Natasha told me a little while ago, sometime before we got together. I must say I didn't notice until she said that."

"Well I am offended, oh you hurt me deeply Y/N." you pushed him away from you but brought him back for a quick peck on his cheek."

"Do you forgive me now?" he pondered about it.

"I think I might need a little more."

"I'm sure we can arrange that." Leaning in again, the phone began to ring and he leaned his forehead against yours.

"That's work."

"Always comes in the way."

"Speaks the girl who goes to week long missions!" he stood and went back a few steps.

"You chose to date that girl from your free will!"

•

You've been together for almost half a year now… shy two or three months. You couldn't help thinking how this is probably the guy that you needed, someone steady who took good care of you and made you feel cared for. He never was late, and always so attentive listening to every word you said. How can you need anything more? That was a question that pestered your brain, trying to find reason in your numb heart.

You always smiled around him, and Steve obviously approved judging from the amount of time he let him go into the Avengers quarters. You knew you were attracted to him. It was hard not to be. And yet, it wasn't just there yet- it wasn't like it was with him. It must be a good thing though.

•

"Is this all you got?"

"Sir, you have to understand- we didn't have much time to get all that we needed, we still don't know a lot." Doctor Zazu sighed at the small bunch of paper in front of him.

"Very well, for now we will work on the safe room- you better take care of it. I have enough work working on the formula for the asset." The agents nodded and the doctor turned around to look at the chair, the similarities were uncanny but he improved it, now he is sure this will work- there is no other option.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14

#loki x reader #my writing #1989 #shake it off #1989 taylor's version #1989 loki's version #loki #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson #loki imagines #fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki series #loki laufeyson #loki show

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hikari-writes · 3 years

Text

『Haikyuu!!』

Fluff Headcanons

Pocky Day Special

↬ Playing pocky game with them

Pairing: Yamaguchi Tadashi, Akaashi Keiji & Yaku Morisuke

Warning: Tiiny bit of swearing and tooth rotting fluff 🥺🥺

Genre: FLOOOOOOOOOF

Words: 2.6k

Note:

- GN!Reader

Taglist: @ssucrose @laylahoran @whootwhoot @mirakeul @sunacity @hajibee @luv4kiyoomi @tamaguchi @cadenceh2o @yamagucji @ynainnit @tsukisemi [Join my taglist here!]

A/N: i know im 2 days late,, but whatever, better late than never >:( and you bet i did research on the pocky flavours for this 😎😎 and yes, i may say this is pretty self indulgent since theyre all my husbandos but shuuussh 🙄🙄 this got longer as it progressed and idek why--- istg its not bc of favouritism or anything okay 😣😣

↬ Yamaguchi Tadashi

『Cookies & Cream flavoured Pocky』

➳ It wasn't such a bad idea to play around once in a while

➳ So you bought a pack of Cookies and Cream pocky to play with Yamaguchi

➳ He wasn't too big on the idea at first, since you two are just FRIENDS after all

➳ Not for long though

➳ But you managed to convince him, saying that it'll be fun and stuff

➳ He reluctantly gave in eventually

➳ You gave him the advantage of biting his end first, and you scooted closer to bite yours

➳ When I tell you you could feel the heat radiating from his face

➳ The both of you started the game after you counted to three

➳ You started off pretty slowly, then you sped up after noticing Yamaguchi's pace slowing down

➳ You were nearing the middle of the pocky, when all of a sudden Yamaguchi picked up the pace and reached the middle of the pocky

➳ But he didn't stop there

➳ Instead of moving away and claiming his victory, he continued biting until he reached your lips

➳ You were shocked, obviously, so you just sat there and stared at Yamaguchi's closed eyes as he continued to kiss you

➳ After what felt like an eternity, he finally pulled away and looked at you. As soon as he noticed you're a blushing mess, a small smirk formed on his face

➳ “Well, wasn't that fun?”

➳ Your blush darkened and you narrowed your eyes at him

➳ “You sly little….”

➳ “You should've expected that coming though~”

➳ “Well, you sped up all of a sudden!! How was I supposed to see that coming?!”

➳ You grabbed the pocky box and took another stick out

➳ “Let's do it again. I won't lose this time.”

➳ Let's just say that this went on for a pretty long time and at the end of the day, you decided it'd be best to just confess your feelings to him

➳ (Which was also "coincidentally" the sole reason you wanted to play a pocky game with him)

↬ Akaashi Keiji

『Matcha flavoured Pocky』

➳ Unlike the matcha pocky, your first kiss with your boyfriend was, minty

➳ You and Akaashi just started going out and one day, during a sleepover that was held at Bokuto's house, all of you decided to play pocky game since it was the 11th of November

➳ Of course, as a new (and also the only) couple in the group, the both of you were targeted as the ones to play the game first

➳ You felt a bit conflicted about this matter. Of course, it would be a dream come true to get to kiss Akaashi (who would even let that chance slip by) but you're also not sure if you wanted your first kiss to be because of a party game

➳ Akaashi noticed your reluctance and figured that you might not be ready to kiss him yet, since you two just started dating after all

➳ (Not gonna lie, he was pretty dejected but he valued your feelings first and foremost like the gentleman he is so he won't force you if you don't want to.)

➳ “I'm sorry, but can we pass this one up? I don't think L/N is ready to--”

➳ “We'll do it!! I mean-- I'll do it! I'm totally okay with doing it!”

➳ You quickly interrupted Akaashi and grabbed the Matcha pocky box from the table before taking one pocky stick out

➳ “L-let's do this…”

➳ You bit one end of the pocky and moved closer to Akaashi to make it easier for him to bite his side of the end

➳ Kaori and Bokuto both whistled at your boldness which made you blush even harder. Akaashi sent a silent glare their way in an attempt to make them shut up, to which they did (but not without smirking and grinning like cats at the sight of you and Akaashi)

➳ The game started and you could feel everyone's stares digging a hole inside you

➳ The two of you started at a pretty slow pace, and it felt like the pocky was kilometres long given how long it took for you to reach the middle

➳ As the both of your faces started to get closer, your heart thumped louder and louder, making you worried that Akaashi would hear it

➳ You took a glance at his face, and just as you did, almost as if he noticed your glance, he looked back at you

➳ Seeing Akaashi's beautiful eyes staring back at yours in such close proximity made your brain stopped working for a moment and in a state of panic, you accidentally snapped the pocky in two and stumbled backwards

➳ Akaashi blinked in confusion at the whole situation, which just made your brain short circuited and steams started to escape from your ears

➳ You became a stuttering mess and you couldn't sit back up until Akaashi held out a hand to help you

➳ As soon as you got to sit up straight again, you immediately buried your face in his chest and murmured “It's my lost….”.

➳ Akaashi finished biting the leftover pocky and held you closer to him

➳ “That was a good game,” he whispered back

➳ Everyone started to give you two lovebirds teasing grins and laughs

➳ The game continued with you still buried in Akaashi's chest, with you occasionally giving curious glances to see exactly what was happening

➳ After some time, everyone started to get sleepy and decided that it was time to sleep

➳ After what just happened, you honestly didn't really feel like sleeping

➳ So instead you whispered Akaashi's name and gestured for him to come closer after you two were ready to lay down on the futon

➳ “What is it, L/N?”

➳ He came closer to you but was surprised when you suddenly pulled the collar of his shirt and tiptoed just enough to reach his face before planting a kiss on his lips

➳ The kiss smelled and tasted a bit like mint, since you two just brushed your teeth and all, but you honestly weren't complaining at all. It was refreshing

➳ Right after you parted your lips, you tried to look at him straight in the eyes (keyword: tried) and explained your actions

➳ “S-sorry I suddenly snapped the pocky….it was an accident...well, kind of. Besides that, I wanted our first kiss to be special so uhm…”

➳ Akaashi understood your intention now and he couldn't help but to give a soft chuckle at your flustered self

➳ “W-what's so funny??”

➳ “Nothing, it's just…..you were too cute so…”

➳ You silently screamed at him and lightly punched his arm as he continued chuckling. The both of you were still careful so as to not make any noise and wake up the others though

➳ (Kind of useless though since they were just pretending to sleep and already witnessed your lovey-dovey couple moments)

↬ Yaku Morisuke

『Tsubu Tsubu Strawberry flavoured Heart Shaped Pocky』

➳ It all started with a stupid dare by Kuroo

➳ Of course, how could you chicken out and refuse if that was the case?

➳ Apparently, Kuroo’s older sister bought too many boxes of pocky and gave him some. He thought of sharing them with the team and brought them to school

➳ After practice was done, however, he got a brilliant idea

➳ He distributed the boxes to everyone but when he got to you, he got a different way to give them

➳ “Here you go, Y/N. A heart shaped pocky, special just for you, the manager. Tsubu tsubu strawberry flavoured.”

➳ “Oh, I’ve seen this type of pocky on the internet before. They look so cute! But I didn’t manage to find them anywhere. Thanks--”

➳ Just as you were about to take the box from him, he retreated back his hand and held the box higher and out of reach from you

➳ You looked at him with visible confusion, and he smirked down at you

➳ “Well, this is a special type of pocky you know? It feels like a waste to just give it to you like that.”

➳ “Didn’t you say that I got the special one because I’m the manager?”

➳ You’re starting to get annoyed at his attitude but you tried to cover it up with a forced smile

➳ “Still, this is the only heart shaped pocky I got from my sister…..Hmmm what should I do~?”

➳ You tried to grab the box from him, but he only held the box higher and on top of that, used his other hand to push your face away from him

➳ You finally ran out of patience and started to go full on feral mode at him

➳ “KUROO TETSUROU JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN POCKY!!”

➳ This is why no one messed with you regarding the subject of candies and sweets

➳ It was quite a scene, and Kai had to step in to ease the fight

➳ Kuroo finally lowered his arms and you took that as an opportunity to snatch the pocky box

➳ But he used the same trick again and moved his arms away before you could reach it

➳ “I’ll give you the pocky, under one condition.”

➳ You looked at him with extreme irritation. His name’s going to be in your blacklist for sure now

➳ “What?” You said, rather begrudgingly.

➳ Kuroo smirked in victory. He turned away from you and faced the direction Yaku was in.

➳ “Yakkun! Come here for a sec!”

➳ Your heart literally jumped out of your chest at that moment. Kuroo’s planning something, and whatever it was, you’re not gonna like it

➳ “So here’s the thing. I’ll give you the pocky, but only after you complete a pocky game, with Yakkun. How’s that?”

➳ Your face turned dark red at his proposal.

➳ “Are you crazy?! There’s no way I’ll do that!”

➳ You whisper yelled at him so as to not raise any suspicion from Yaku.

➳ “And why won’t you, hmm?”

➳ Seeing his teasing grin and narrowed eyes, you knew at that moment, that Kuroo knew of your crush on Yaku.

➳ “W-what-- how do you--? Don’t tell me you knew?”

➳ “Knew what? Are you hiding something perhaps?”

➳ You gritted your teeth in frustration. Oh, he knew alright. And he’s gonna pretend as if he doesn’t

➳ “Whatever, and why should I even do this?”

➳ “To get your desired special heart shaped tsubu tsubu strawberry flavoured pocky?”

➳ Phew that was a mouthful

➳ He swung the pocky box in front of you, tempting you even more

➳ Just as you were about to agree to play the game, a realization struck you

➳ “Ha! Nice try there, Kuroo. What makes you think Yaku would even want to play this game with me?”

➳ “Play what game?”

➳ You literally jumped from your position in shock when Yaku’s voice suddenly came up behind you, earning a snicker from Kuroo

➳ “I dared Y/N to play a pocky game with you, and if they did, they’ll receive this special pocky as a prize.”

➳ You internally screamed and tried to keep yourself from murdering this rooster head but Yaku’s unexpected reaction made you forget about the murderous instinct for a moment

➳ “Oh, okay. Sure, let’s play it then.”

➳ “W-wait, are you really, REALLY sure you wanna play it with me??”

➳ “I don’t see anything wrong with that. Besides, you’ve helped us -me especially- a lot by being our manager already. Helping you with something this trivial is the least I can do.”

➳ You tried to hide the blush that was creeping up your face and Kuroo, noticing your heating face immediately nudged your arm while displaying a much wider grin than before

➳ You excused yourself for a moment and took out your phone before googling “Can you stay friends with someone you just kissed?” in the case of you two kissing after the pocky game

➳ “Well then, here you go. I’ll give you mine since I still have some more at home.”

➳ Yaku took the box of pocky from Kuroo after he fished it out from his bag and opened the packaging. He took one out and bit the end without the coating

➳ Noticing that Yaku's ready for the game, you put back your phone inside your uniform pocket. You gulped once and tried to calm your nerves as you moved closer to him to bite your side of the pocky

➳ When you scooted closer to him however, he didn’t notice your presence until you were directly in front of him and biting the pocky with a heavy blush on your face

➳ Yaku stared at you with his wide, brown eyes for a moment before snapping the pocky into two out of reflex and fell on his back

➳ All of the others stared in shock at Yaku who’s now on the floor, covering his face with one hand. It was pretty obvious that he was blushing, even if he tried to hide it. His reddening ears gave it all away

➳ “Yaku, what’s wrong?”

➳ Kai was the first to break the silence. You were still shocked at his overreaction so you were just standing there with the half broken piece of pocky still in your mouth

➳ “Wait--I-- I just--- Uhm--- I thought we were playing a pocky game???”

➳ You had probably never seen Yaku this flustered before in your entire life. It was certainly a sight to see, but it just made your blush grew darker on your face

➳ “And you were….Wait, don’t tell me, you don’t know how a pocky game works?”

➳ Kuroo guessed with a snap of his fingers, as if he just made a great discovery

➳ “Don’t each person just take a pocky for themselves and it’s a game where you compete on who can finish their pocky first?”

➳ Kuroo covered his mouth to prevent any laugh from escaping and your soul had probably left your body at this point. The second-hand embarrassment you were feeling was no joke

➳ Kuroo tried to explain the rules of the game to Yaku, which just ended up making the libero blush even harder than before

➳ “Who even invented this game….”

➳ He whispered underneath his breath after Kuroo’s explanation. He looked at you who were surrounded by the first years poking their fingers at your arms and asking, “Are they dead?” with a troubled sigh

➳ “Okay….let’s do this again.”

➳ He finally got up and took out another pocky stick. Your soul finally returned to your body when he was in front of you and holding out the pocky with his mouth

➳ “It’s okay if you don’t want to do it, Yaku! I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything….”

➳ Yaku silenced you by grabbing both your shoulders firmly, but not so much with force, as if he’s treating a fragile thing

➳ “It’s okay. I really don’t mind if I’m playing this... with you.”

➳ You bit the other side of the pocky and tried to focus on eating without thinking too much on what he just said, which just ended up in a total failure by the way

➳ The both of you went on a steady pace but when you finally almost reached the middle of the pocky, you both simultaneously stopped and stared down awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact with one another

➳ Many thoughts ran through the both of your heads, and all of it were more or less the same

➳ “What if I accidentally kissed him/them? He/they probably wouldn’t like that….”

➳ “He/they would probably even hate me if that happened…..”

➳ After several seconds had passed, you two finally decided to continue biting on the pocky. And simultaneously once again, might I add

➳ This just resulted in the both of your lips to brush against one another in the end, and you swore your heart just escaped from your chest when you felt the sensation of Yaku’s lips brushing against yours

➳ You and Yaku both moved and turned away from one another, too embarrassed to face the other

➳ “Well, you’ve cleared the dare, so here’s your prize.”

➳ Kuroo casually put the box of pocky on top of your head and left the gym to head back home, followed by the others, intentionally leaving you and Yaku alone in the gym

➳ Okay, maybe you can at least lift Kuroo’s name from your blacklist after this. After all, he did help you get closer to your crush…..kinda

141 notes · View notes

kyber-crystal · 4 years

Text

An Accidental Confession

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~3.1k

Summary: In which you decided to a record a message explaining your feelings for Steve in case you didn't make it out of your mission alive. You don’t have any intention of it actually being heard by him, but you have no other choice to face your fear when it’s accidentally broadcasted across the entire compound.

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff haha with hints of a cocky steve hehe.

A/N: Some dialogue credits go to Descendants of the Sun! (yes, this is a oneshot of a scene from it, bc I love that drama with my whole heart)

Tags: Dedicating this to @sylvie-writes because she’s an absolute SWEETHEART. I LOVE YOU BB. go follow her!

"Hey, Y/N, check this out!"

You glanced up from where you were furiously typing away at the computer to see Peter with a wide grin on his face. "Hm?"

"Look what I found! Mr. Stark's old speaker set!" The teenager went around to behind the table and rolled out the speaker in front of you. "It was a bit souped up, but all it really needed was some TLC and here it is, good as new!"

"Found this old thing while he was cleaning up," Tony explained, "you wanna hook your phone up and give it a go?"

"Uh...sure, why not," you shrugged, standing up and pushing your seat in, making your way over to the two of them. You took your phone out of your pocket and plugged it in.

"Check, one, two," Peter spoke into the small microphone. "Check one, two, three. Hey! It's working!"

You couldn't help but grin at his enthusiasm. "How old is this thing, anyway?"

"Older than me, that's for sure. Now play something!"

"Alright, alright. Let's see..." you scrolled through your playlists until you found the one you wanted, pressing 'play' and putting it on shuffle. "There."

"Fly Me To The Moon! May played it for me all the time when I was little," Peter exclaimed. "She always insisted I educate myself on older music. Now I'm glad she did."

Bucky and Sam stopped screaming at each other as they battled it out in Mario Kart, quieting down and humming to the beat as they held their controllers tightly. Wanda smiled to herself as she stirred the pot of soup on the stove, Bruce on the verge of falling asleep as he sipped his coffee at the kitchen island and read a news article on his phone. The energy within the compound seemed to lighten significantly as Frank Sinatra's soothing voice echoed off the walls.

You went out to the patio to relax, crossing your arms and closing your eyes as the sounds of chirping crickets and music mixed together in one soothing melody, the moonlight reflecting over the water. For a brief moment in time, you were at peace - and you relished in the temporary feeling of serenity. The 'city that never slept' was sleepy, for once. It wasn't all that late, but you were already beginning to succumb to fatigue's temptations.

But then, the song came to an end and switched off to something else.

"Hey, Steve. I hope this message never finds you because if it does...it means I'm most likely dead-" your all-too familiar voice came over the phone, thick with tears as you struggled to contain your sobs. "God, what am I even doing here? I have a gunshot wound that most likely pierced a vital organ so I'm just gonna bleed out here alone- why am I even doing this? I don't even know how much longer it'll be before you arrive with the evac team...so I just want to apologize in advance for not coming back to you like I promised. If I'd known I'd die in a foreign country, I would've lived a more carefree life instead of constantly worrying, like you always told me to just relax sometimes, I'm so, so sorry-"

Your eyes widened in realization and you rushed across the facility as fast as you could possibly go to the labs.

"Leaving words like this before dying is so uncultured- please, Steve...are you on your way? Please tell me you're on your way. If I'm really dying here I don't wanna die alone. Please hurry...I don't think I can last until you get here. Even so, you'll be the first to find me if I die, that is, if my corpse isn't dragged away or some shit like that - God, this hurts- I almost forgot how much it hurt to get shot...damn...I really underestimated the power of a bullet, huh?

Steve's bandaged fists fell to his sides, the punching bag swinging back and forth so wildly that it would've knocked him over if it weren't for his muscular figure. His brow furrowed in concern and he felt a small ache his chest upon hearing your voice crack - you never cried, and even if you did, which was extremely rare, you were good at hiding it from others.

But then a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips - you did ramble sometimes, and he found it rather adorable. It was, in fact, one of the main reasons why he admired you so much.

"FRIDAY? Where's the source of this audio?"

"It's playing from Mr. Stark's speaker in the lab, Captain," the AI responded.

"Thank you."

He unwrapped the tape from around his hands and exited the training facility, going into a light jog as he headed up to the lounge.

"If I knew that I'd die like this, then I would've told you my true feelings. That I'm in love with you and I really wished you'd kissed me when we were watching that movie together- it was Die Hard, wasn't it? I really wished you'd done something. We were sitting so close, and...I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was tempted to just run my hands through your hair and kiss you. And I almost did. I'm so in love with you, hopelessly in love with you...and if there's anything that scares me more than dying alone, it's probably thinking of a way to tell you, and the fear of being rejected by my best friend, my partner in crime-"

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. You were in love with him? He felt his heartbeat pick up speed at the thought. He always held that small bit of hope in his heart that you'd feel the same way.

Just as Steve arrived at the labs, you came bursting through the doors with a look of sheer panic in your eyes, your face drained of all color. You quickly unplugged your phone from the speaker as he watched on in amusement.

"Want some, Mr. Stark?" Peter offered through a mouthful of popcorn, holding the bag out to his mentor. "Seems like we're in for a treat here."

"Where'd you get these, kid?" Tony questioned as he reached over and popped several kernels into his mouth. "Mm. Caramel, a classic."

"I always keep some with me. Never know when drama will break out."

Steve laughed and shook his head as you quickly turned around on your heel and sprinted out of the room. It was so unlike you to act like this - normally you were rather guarded and stoic. To see you as anything but was not only amusing, but adorable in his eyes - it was one of the many things he loved about you, in fact.

"Music...really changes a lot of things," Peter cleared his throat awkwardly.

The super-soldier cracked a smile. "I seem to be in the center of that change."

He said a few quick goodbyes went to find you, as Peter and Tony continued enjoying their popcorn together.

"Oh my god, I'm so stupid, oh my god, why did I even record that damn message," you muttered, finding yourself going back outside again. You needed to clear your head and get away from Steve. The secondhand embarrassment you just knew was waiting for you was almost too much to even think about - what would he think of you now? What would everyone else think of you?

Steve had beaten you to it and was already out there, leaning against the glass railing with his arms crossed over his chest, wearing an amused expression on his face.

"Oh my god! You scared me!" your voice heightened to a shriek. "What the hell, Rogers? How are you here? Why are you here?"

"I know you like the back of my hand, sweetheart," he chuckled lightly. "You always come out here whenever you're restless or stressed out. Figured you'd try to flee as soon as you heard," he gestured back inside, "all that."

"That was none of your business!" you squeaked. "It was a private message, not meant for you to actually hear! It wasn't for you!"

"Well, you did announce it, publicly," he defended himself, pushing himself away from the railing and raising his hands in surrender. "And it sounded like it was for me. You said my name."

"It wasn't for you!"

"Then why'd you say Steve?"

"It's a different Steve?"

"A different Steve with a stealth suit, Quinjet, and evac team?"

"Y-yeah! B-but it's really funny. Why are you listening to other people's recordings?'

"Like I said, doll," your face flushed at the nickname, "it was broadcasted publicly. I didn't listen, I heard."

"Because you heard it, you carelessly hear it all the way through?"

He smirked. "You know, you're really cute when you're upset." He smirked, taking several steps towards you. You instinctively stepped back. "But why are you running away? When you were about to die you wanted to confess." With each step he took, you took another backwards. "But since you lived, you changed your mind?"

"Confess? That wasn't a confession. That wasn't me."

"This cell phone is yours," he held up your hand that tightly gripped your phone.

"This isn't a phone- Y/N, what the hell are you saying? Stop talking," you cursed yourself under your breath.

"It's an honor knowing I'm in your will," he said kindly.

"If you know then that's enough," you exhaled, stepping around him to leave. Steve stopped you by placing a hand out in front, before moving it to grip your wrist. You felt your skin heat up rapidly under his touch.

You gasped. "Look! Thor set the toaster on fire!"

"I'm not fooled, sweetheart."

You moved to try and leave again, but he only tightened his grip. "Whether or not it was a confession, I'm going to listen to it, so let's not run away, shall we?"

You were silent for several moments before responding, swallowing hard. "Okay. I got it. I'll answer you so let go of me and let's talk. Really."

"Really, right?"

He obeyed, releasing his hand from your wrist. You quickly moved around him and ran back inside. Steve just laughed to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

"She finally did it," Sam nodded in approval as he and Bucky finished their Rainbow Road deathmatch. "Good game, man."

"Yeah, good game," they shook hands, "but if I'm being honest...I didn't expect things to go down like that. If anything, Steve seems like he'd be the first to confess. The way they're dancing around each other like oblivious monkeys...damn."

"Couldn't have described it better."

...

You flopped onto your bed, panting heavily as you stared up at the ceiling. Your heart was beating so fast that you felt like passing out. Maybe I'll just die like this and I won't ever have to confess for real, you thought. That sounds much better than death by blood loss from a gunshot wound.

"Hey, darling."

You sat up and let out a short scream as you saw Steve leaning against your doorframe, that damn smirk still on his face. "What the hell? You can't just ambush me like that! How long have you been standing there for?"

"Long enough," he chuckled, sliding his hands in his pockets and stepping inside. This time, you were too lazy to push him away, and just allowed him to sit down next to you at the edge of your bed. Steve propped his hand on his chin as he gazed at you, smiling.

You sighed and let your head fall into your hands. "This is all your fault."

"My fault?" Steve tilted his head in confusion. "How is this my fault?"

"Becau- never mind. I'm busy. I gotta go check up on the new lab I'm working on with Bruce."

You stood up abruptly, but he reached out and grabbed your wrist again. "I'm going to go to the labs, too. He asked me to help with a few things. I think you just found yourself an escort."

"I can go by myself, Rogers. I'm an adult," you gave him a pointed look.

"Ouch. That stung," he pretended to look hurt. "Last name calling? I thought we agreed on sappy pet names. And besides, you know what happened last time you went somewhere alone. You got shot."

"Whatever."

"Hold on," he tugged you back so that you had to sit down again. "Why do you keep running away from me? You confess your feelings in your will and then you run."

"It wasn't my will."

"You said you were scared to die alone."

"It wasn't me. Where is your bout of confidence even coming from?"

"I'm not asking how you feel about me at the moment. Don't feel bad that I found out how you feel about me. Because I'm in love with you too, and nothing can change the fact that I like you even more now."

You swallowed hard.

He smiled again. "And you look beautiful today, doll."

"Stop with the pet names," you mumbled. You couldn't stop the tremor in your tone as you spoke

"Hey hey hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Steve brought a hand up to your face, lightly skimming the tip of his thumb across your cheekbone to wipe away the tears that had fallen. "Hey. Tell me what's wrong, darling."

As soon as that last word left his lips, you lost it. A broken sob escaped from your mouth before you broke down, and he felt guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. Sure, he was lightly teasing you - but he didn't intend for his jabs to hurt you in any way. That was the last thing he wanted to do - to see you cry. He hated seeing you cry.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," he whispered, carefully wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him, rubbing circles onto your back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken the teasing so far. I'm so sorry, Y/N-"

It took nearly twenty minutes for your sniffles to die down and another ten for your crying to stop completely, but he patiently held you until you did. And when it finally stopped, it still took you several moments before you could bring yourself to meet his eyes.

"I look like a mess," you muttered, quickly ducking your head down to wipe at your nose. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this-"

"You look lovely, regardless," Steve murmured, kissing your forehead. "You'll always look beautiful in my eyes."

"You're such a sap," you mumbled, closing your eyes. "I hate you."

"You know you love me, Y/N."

"No I don't."

"That message told me otherwise. You sounded like you were pretty in love, judging by the desperate tone in your voice-"

"Shut up!"

"Make me," he challenged, a smirk appearing on his face.

You huffed and stood up, crossing your arms. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that, Rogers?"

"Watch your language-"

"Make me."

"Using my own words against me, are you?" Steve raised a brow as he stood up as well, walking towards you. You kept walking backwards until you felt your back hit the wall and internally panicked when you realized there was nowhere else to go.

"Shit," you whispered. "I'm not escaping this one, am I?"

"Not a chance," he chuckled wistfully. You felt your heart do somersaults and your stomach twist itself into knots as he met your eyes, a softened look to them that you'd never seen before - what was it? Just a few minutes earlier you'd find yourself squirming beneath his intense gaze but for some reason, you stayed put.

When his lips pressed against yours, you felt a crackle of electricity across your skin and the world fell away. It seemed as if time stopped and held its breath as it watched the two of you, his arm curving around your waist as his free hand rested at the back of your neck, pulling you flush against him. Though you were taken aback by the sudden gesture and terrified you wasted no time in reacting, sinking deeper into the kiss. You could feel him smile against your lips and fireworks exploded inside your chest - if there was a way to describe pure magic, this would definitely be it. And he felt it too - and he swore to himself that he'd never felt a bigger rush of adrenaline before until now.

You looked absolutely stunning to him in that moment as you pulled apart - with your half-closed eyes, reddened cheeks, and swollen lips - his doing, no doubt. Your gaze slipped down to his equally swollen lips and you felt your face flush at the sight. Steve was quick to catch what you were doing and pulled you back in for more.

This time, it wasn't as innocent and quick. It was more needy, passionate - months, no, years of pent-up frustration he didn't even know he had seeping into it. Years of not being able to tell you finally being poured out into one grand gesture - years of finally getting closure because he now knew the girl he'd loved for as long as he could remember felt the same way.

"Oh my fucking shit."

The two of you were practically gasping for air as you broke apart a second time to see a smug-looking Sam.

"You just- I didn't interrupted something between y'all, did I?" Sam cocked a brow. "Looked like you were this close to-"

"No," you exhaled, "we weren't."

"I'm a GENIUS for fixing that speaker! If I hadn't done so you guys never would've gotten together!" Peter squealed as he appeared by the Falcon's side. "I believe a thank you is in order!"

"I hope my timing isn't bad, but I have to ask," Steve cleared his throat and looked you straight in the eye. "that was a confession, right? And you didn't do it just because you felt compelled to. Be honest with me."

You let out a sigh of defeat. "Yeah...it was."

He broke into a gorgeous, million-dollar grin that made you weak at the knees. He leaned down, lips ghosting over yours as if he was going to kiss you again - but pulled back, much to your disappointment.

"I guess I'm the victor of this battle, huh," he whispered before releasing his hold on you and walking out, leaving you to stand there utterly shell-shocked and speechless as Peter and Sam began teasing you.

#avengers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #avengers x reader #captain america imagine #captain america x reader #marvel fic #avengers fanfiction #captain america one shot #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers one shot #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers fic #captain america fic #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fic #chris evans one shot

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jayflrt · 2 years

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this

HWJDJS I JUST SAW UR ASK AFTER I SENT THAT HAHAHA

i also didn't know txt had jewel cases until i bought one instock! i got only one version and only after i paid for it i realised that the other version is the harley quinn set AND THEY LOOK SO GOOD IN IT :00 so i wanted to buy the other version

I haven't really bought any new pcs or albums recently other than the splurge on d:a and hyuka ld pc! and honestly i haven't spent anything much on nct (i don't think i did at all..?) this year and have been collecting only enhatxt !

i was also supposed to start my job today but my employer (??) messaged me to tell me that his HR hired another full-timer w/o his knowledge and now if he pulls us in he'll be overstaffed so i'm back to #unemployed 😱!! and i don't think i'll be able to find another job at the moment because i'm probably travelling out of my country in start april and most jobs require 1 month commitment @@ but i hope i can find a job soon :(

also funfact i chose 🤖 in relation to billypoco HAHA ITS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS

have you ever thought of taking a picture of ALL ur photocards before! it took me a longgg time but its rlly cool :0

also i probably won't be buying gyu's birthday merch anymore! it'll be a lot of trouble and i don't mind just not getting it hehe

i don't think i have anything else to say at the moment..? HAHA I THINK i missed out a few things of what i wanted to say but got carried away 😭 but i hope u have a great week ahead!! l?(i'm not sure what time is it now for u @@) -🤖

hi 🤖 anon !!! i’m so sorry i’ve been sooo busy with upcoming finals and my midterm but i’m glad i can get to your ask now !! 🤧💗 i’ll definitely be more free now that i’m settled and at home <33

also are the txt jewel cases like separate from the albums ?? :o bc i know nct’s jewel case pcs are part of the album pc set ,, idk if what i’m saying is even making sense 😵‍💫 LMAODJF but do ppl usually collect jewel case with album pcs for txt ?? :o AHH THE HARLEY QUINN LOOKS ARE SOOO GOOD i heard soobin’s is lowkey pretty popular HAHHA 🤩

i haven’t been buying much enha either !!! but i have four jaemin pcs left to complete my collection so i’m determined to get them 😩 and honestly let your pockets rest yes :’)) nct is sooo expensive i don’t blame you at all love 😭💗

WHAT???? IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED 😭😭😭 THAT HAS TO BE LIKE ,, ILLEGAL OR SMTHN WHAT this is before you signed a contract right ?? BUT LIKE WTF THATS SO UNPROFESSIONAL OF THEM >;(( i hope you end up finding a job tho !!! there are plenty of temporary positions out there so i’m sure one of them will take you 🥰 also where are you traveling ?? :o

BILLY POCO IS YOUR FAV ENHA SONG ??3&;? UNIRONICALLY??;!;! ironic right . it’s ironic …. right

also i’ve thought of taking a pic of all my pcs but actually haven’t !!! it DOES sound cool but the only thing that puts me off is the amount of time it would take for me to take everything out of my pc binder and then lay them out in order :’))

aww nooo D; it’s okay you can treat yourself to other merch !!! 💖 also that’s so sweet love :’) i’m having a better week now that some of the hard stuff is out of the way, but it’s gonna get rough during finals HAHAH but ty for checking in !! how have you been doing? and i hope you have a great day/night as well ! ♡

#💌 : jayflrt love notes #🤖 anon

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idkbecks · 2 years

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tbh, i have such mixed feelings about dallon's response to this. like.. i really do think his intentions were good when he said it, and it does seem like he cares about the fans, but it definitely sounded more tone deaf than anything else. not everyone has a tank of a tour bus with 4 wheel drive and enough people to make sure things go smoothly on the road in such dangerous conditions, and most folks aren't willing to risk their health and safety just for a single concert.

Exactly. Like I don't think it was an offensive statement by any means but it didn't acknowledge what the problem was. He literally said the word "decision" when everybody made it abundantly clear it was NOT what they wanted at the end of the day. Like it wasn't a choice on their end.

I'm anxious to see if they say anything about the NY dates still. I'll be truly disappointed and astonished if they don't cancel or postpone the Syracuse and Albany shows. NY is going to be in a winter weather storm warning until Sunday, roads are already shut down. People think the thru way is going to close which I kind of hope happens because then they wouldn't be able to get there LOL like I get they have a big bus but this is a really big storm hitting all of NY. Meaning nobody in NY except people who have super strong cars will be able to go to the NY shows. If they don't say anything, I might genuinely see them different for the foreseeable future because people are in a fucking panic here right now over the weather. Stores are empty, people are planning on not being able to even leave their homes. So if they come here and are completely blind to that, and drive through the awful conditions, to play a show in the middle of winter, where it's not only blizzarding but it's freezing temperatures (-19 last night!), I'm going to be kind of upset. This storm is terrorizing a shit ton of places right now, ain't no way they don't know that.

I feel particularly deeply about NY bc if they do not cancel these shows, it'll be the first time I haven't seen them at a show within 5 hours of me. And I'll also be out almost $400 because of how much tickets were and how much I spent on things my girlfriend and I needed to travel across the state and stay at an air BnB that we booked before this storm was predicted. Whereas if they reschedule, I can still have an experience. It's literally meant to be unnavigable though, so it seems really unfair and cruel and dangerous to not postpone. They saw how much people wanted it yesterday, you'd think they'd be thinking more about it now for upcoming dates so hopefully they are.

Sorry for ranting. This has been making me really upset LOL I spent a lot of money and never in a million years did I see myself not being able to go after all the planning I did. So it took a turn for the worse for me LOL

#mine #the storm

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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