#and they’ll still get back together in two weeks. i really fucking hate them
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actually i think the revenge wellness checkup is the most vile and most stupid thing that’s ever happened. after their Big Fight, Ganke does think (well at this point he knows) that Miles will hurt himself after their fight out of guilt and that SHOULD be enough, but some part of him hopes the cops showing up to his and his mother’s door for an anonymous wellness checkup scares him for putting hands on ganke. just to fuck with Miles heavily and make him worse mentally. and it’s so insidious. Miles ends up also doing this, but it was kind of like an end to “i do a bad thing, you do a bad thing, we’re even now, shut up and leave” and this was their longest break before their current one (where Ganke found out about him being The Prowler) because you don’t really. fully come back from that. lol.
#tw: self harm#tw: abuse#because miles does literally slap Ganke so hard his glasses fly off and crack . <- eye twitches as i type this#they make me so ill. oh miles is cutting himself? send over the same cops that killed his father to his house#oh ganke did this horrible thing? i’ll do this horrible thing RIGHT BACK AT HIM!! THATLL SHOW HIM ANS HIS UGLY ASS MOTHER#and they’ll still get back together in two weeks. i really fucking hate them#i don’t think either of them are mentally stable . in case that wasn’t clear lol#clawcode#milesganke#um.#miles g#ganke lee#ganke m#m&m posts#ahit wait i’m kinda . thinking maybe i’m a bit joker to share this..
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toxic!jean headcannons because i love you
some manipulation? cursing, obviously toxicity, cheating references, sexual references
toxic!jean who knows that now that you two are done, he can do whatever he pleases, and have no problems with you.
toxic!jean who fucked multiple different girls when you were together and then proceeded to lie that he didn’t.
toxic!jean who blames you every time he stares at your ass. “it’s too big, that’s your fault.” is what he always told you when you caught him and called him out in private.
toxic!jean who knows his side bitches hate you because every time he’s done with them, he goes back to you.
toxic!jean who got your name tatted on his lower stomach, right below his belly button after you broke up so that you’d remember that you’ll always be his.
toxic!jean who hates when other boys talk about you.
toxic!jean who’d try to make you mad on purpose by flirting and kissing other girls in front of you. don’t do the same thing, ever.
toxic!jean who ruins all the relationships you get in after him, by showing your boyfriends old pictures of you and him together in bed. ‘this is where she was last night, mf she does not like you 😂’
toxic!jean who, when he hears someone say they want you, will drag them in an alleyway and beat the shit out of them.
toxic!jean who sends you a d!ckp!c every other night with the caption ‘he misses you lmao.’
toxic!jean who answers your calls while he’s in the middle of fucking another girl, just to piss you off.
toxic!jean who desperately wanted you to tattoo his name on your upper back, right under your neck, so that anytime you’re with someone else, they’ll see who really loves you. you did.
toxic!jean who listens to you cry to him about his behavior, and does nothing. he listens to you cry to him about another guy, and his funerals next week.
toxic!jean who doesn’t give a damn how he talks to you, but never calls you out of your name.
toxic!jean who thinks about you at night, wondering if he should really better himself to get you back.
toxic!jean who sends you a bouquet of flowers with $800+ in it every time he breaks your heart. ‘stop being a baby, baby.’
toxic!jean, who knows deep down he still loves you, no matter how bad he treats you.
#aot headcanons#attack on titan#angst headcanons#jean kirstein#jean x you#jean x reader#jean kirschtein angst#jean kirschstein#angst x reader#jeansplaytoy♡︎
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Good Looking Boy
Billy (Burn 2019) x GN!Reader
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Summary: On a chilly December night, you and Billy catch up. Then, you make an important decision.
Word Count: 3.1k
Content: gender neutral reader, fluff, cursing, alcohol, mention of holidays (gift giving), slight suggestive comment
(A/n: thank you to everyone for all your support for this short multiple-part fic! It means so much to me! I hope I did its finale justice :) also credit to the person who suggested a bar scene !)
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You watched him take a short sip of his beer as you fidgeted with your bottle.
You two agreed that you would catch up at this bar at the corner of the street when you were done with your shift. It has only been a few weeks since you’ve last seen him, but it felt like forever to you, hence the slight awkwardness in the atmosphere.
“So… did you pay off your debt…?” You ask hesitantly, continuing to fidget with the beer bottle in front of you. You finally looked at him, observing his brown eyes softening at the sight of you. The right side of his face was still scarred by the second-degree burn that hot coffee gave him. But you’ve only ever seen him like this, and so, to you, he still looked as handsome as he was since you last saw him.
“Yeah, I… I paid them off,” he answered bluntly.
“And the thing with the bikers? Are you… on good terms with them now?”
In response, he let out a scoff and a quiet chuckle, shaking his head.
“Ugh, dude, what did you do?” You say with exasperation, though amused by his lighthearted manner.
“They wanted the money, but, um… They all sort of… still hate me, so… those assholes gave me a warning: if they see my face again, they’ll kill me, so…” He trails off, taking a fairly tame swig of alcohol before he continues. You noticed that he seemed calmer since you’ve last seen him. As if he worked on himself, his temper, and spontaneous vulgarity. You admired that. “I’m gonna have to go. Unwillingly leave town, you know.”
“Damn,” you mutter, briefly sipping your drink. “That was your initial plan anyways though, right? To, like, just leave this place?”
He let out a soft sigh, which slightly puzzled you. Why did he seem so disappointed?
“Before I was on my way to meet up with them, I just… I got the idea that maybe I just shouldn’t leave. I thought that, um… leaving someplace that’s, uh… desirable… would be a very idiotic thing for me to do,” he explains, only baffling you even more.
“Okay? But you said it yourself, after you paid them off, you wanted to leave town and start anew, have a fresh start. What makes Upstate New York so… great, I guess, that you don’t want to leave?” You inquire with a lighthearted chuckle.
He fidgets with his beer bottle anxiously before looking back at you to answer. “You…”
You were stunned. You opened your mouth slightly to respond, but no words came out. You didn’t know him too well—but after an hour of being stuck together, you knew him enough, at the very least. But why did you have such an impact on him? You guessed that you had an indubitable liking for him too—similar to a childlike crush, though fueled solely by shared trauma. But you never really thought of it that much until now.
“Billy, I…” you stuttered out. “I… I mean… You had a whole plan, I… I just don’t understand. I like you, Billy, but… why should I be the reason you would want to stay here? You don’t really know me…”
“Well…” He wanted to argue that you two already learned a lot about each other from the time you’ve spent together, but even he realized it would be faulty reasoning. “Fuck, I want to get to know you better, then,” he urged gently.
He looked down at your hands, which were on the table near your drink. He reached his hands towards yours hesitantly, giving you a look by the raise of his eyebrows that asked for your permission. You nodded, watching him finally grab your hands, observing your one wrist, in which the bruise from the zip tie was completely gone. He tenderly rubbed his thumb over your wrists and palms. You felt the warm metal of his ring run against your skin as he would move his index finger. The slightly red dent on his wrist that you last saw on the day you escaped had also disappeared entirely. So it seemed like the only thing that followed him—the only thing that haunted him ever since the gas station, was his burn scar.
“I just…” he began, continuing to look down at your hands as he caressed them. It was something he did a lot, you noticed. You think it calmed him down. “I don’t know why I’m so… pulled to you. It’s fucking stupid, I know, and I’ve probably sounded like a dumbass this entire time, but… I mean it when I say I want to get to know you.”
You stared down at your hands in his, unsure of how you felt. “Well… The bikers, they said that they were gonna kill you if they see your face again. That’s, like… implying they want you out of town. You have to go, Billy. You can’t, shit, risk your life for me.”
“That’s why I want you to run away with me,” he urged softly.
“Billy—”
“I want you to come with me,” he pleads. In his mind, Billy thought it was quite ironic how he wanted you to go with him so badly; he rejected Melinda almost immediately when she asked to go with him. But this was different. You weren’t Melinda. You were you. And he desperately wanted to leave with you. But there seemed to be no way for that to happen.
“Billy, we already talked about this. I… I can’t just leave everything I have here behind,” you reason. “Plus, it’s been weeks ever since I last saw you. You had all this time to come see me, where have you been?”
He pursed his lips. “After the bikers gave me a few ‘friendly’ warning shots, I sort of left immediately. I just kept going west. Stayed in a couple motels. But it just… felt wrong, you know? I felt empty and… fuck, out of place… So, I guess I just… came back here to see you one more time…” he confessed, making your heart beat faster and face warmer. Nobody has ever done this grand of a gesture for you. You almost felt bad. You had made a deep connection with him back at the gas station, and suddenly you were worth a lot to him. “Shit, I… I honestly couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to, because I knew it would be… really fucking bad if I tried to come back, but… You were always on my mind. Every second, I… thought about your laughter, and your voice, and I didn’t want to forget it. And-and most of all, you saved my life.” You frowned, because you considered it as a team effort, rather. “Something finally good in my life, for the first fucking time, happened to me and I can’t just—just stand by and let it just leave while I could do something about it.”
You were surprised, to say the least. You never knew you could be this important to someone, let alone someone you’ve only been around with for less than a day. “Billy, I—” You stammered with fluster. “I have to admit, I thought about you multiple times ever since. I sort of always wished I’d run into you whenever I went to a gas station. I think I even dreamed about you multiple times… To be honest, I always thought what would’ve happened if I said yes before and left with you.” He felt your thumb trace delicately along the back of his hand. “Never thought I’d ever think of a gas station robber as handsome and charming.” He chuckled softly in response, his lips forming into a cute, flattered smile.
“I love that you’re here, really. I love that you came back to see me,” You told him. “But… like I said, I can’t come with you.” You would love to, however, you knew it. But you couldn’t just leave everything you had here behind… Could you?
He sighed softly. “Okay, I understand,” he says. “But shit, just… Let me get to know you better before I have to leave for sure. Please. How about I just take you for a drive, then? Just around the block?”
Billy was heavily insistent. After all, he always goes for what he wants.
“The both of us have been drinking, Billy,” you say with guilt. You hated constantly rejecting him. You did want to get to know him better, you did want to spend time with him, but the circumstances and motives were utterly complicated.
You chuckled a bit, however, sort of amused by how much he wanted to be around you. “I don’t know, you can’t just, like… enjoy the moment right now?” You ask as you two look back down at your hands, which were being gently rubbed against each other, Billy’s thumb caressing the back of your hand.
“I don’t know if that’s gonna be enough for me, Y/n,” he claimed dejectedly.
“Why don’t we just take a walk, then? To, like, the nearest park or something,” you offer, feeling his warm fingertips glide softly over your nails. “We could… We could do that.”
After thinking about it for a second, he nodded compliantly.
***
It was supposed to be dark outside, however the street lamps nearby and string lights across buildings liberally illuminated the area. It has been probably half an hour since you two sat down on a park bench, just speaking to each other with occasional banter. That was probably the strongest thing you had with him: communication. Just talking about random things that led to discovering more things about one another. You’d done that while you were tied up together after all. It was how you mainly connected in that moment.
That was another thing, however. You weren’t forced in proximity anymore, but you two still wanted more of each other. Even if you didn’t show it. Your rejection did quite a number on Billy’s belief that his feelings were reciprocated, but as you two proceeded to laugh and talk together, it was reinforced.
“Okay… Quentin Tarantino.” You raise an eyebrow, grinning as you watched your warm breath escape your lips in a hazy, white mist.
“Damn. That one foot fetish guy?” he laughed.
“Yeah, the—the foot fetish guy,” you chuckle softly.
“Okay, easy, Pulp Fiction,” he answered. Met with your silence, he looked at you and you shook your head, smiling. “No?”
“No, I wouldn’t make it that obvious—”
“Kill Bill.”
“N—”
“Volume one or two?” You grin as he continued to guess wrong in your game. “Seriously, none of those?”
“From Dusk Til Dawn?” He nearly pouted, it was adorable. “I give up.”
“Jackie Brown. C’mon, man,” you snicker.
He playfully rolled his eyes, scoffing, making you giggle.
This was something you two did back at Paradise Pumps as well, while tied up and exhausted. You made a little game where you basically had to think of a movie and the other had to guess it by only knowing the name of its director.
He smiles softly as he looks at you, but then it gradually dropped, as the recurring thought that he would never see you again invaded his mind once more.
“You good?” You ask reluctantly, seeing his facial expression change.
“Yeah, I just…”
“You don’t want to leave me?” You finish his sentence with a sigh, seeing him nod in response. “It’s not so bad, Billy. You could leave, settle down, start a new life and leave behind all that crime and… biker gang beef,” you offer a small laugh before you continue.
“You could find somebody who is worthier than me. Someone who you didn’t bond with through shared trauma and forced proximity. Someone who would leave everything behind just for you, unlike me.” You wish you could, honestly. What was really stopping you? Fear? Guilt?
Billy scoffs as he listened to your statements, deeming them as bullshit. “Y/n, respectfully, shut the fuck up.” Your eyebrows raise in bewilderment. “I don’t want someone else, okay? I want you... Just you.”
Your heart nearly stopped and you looked at him with sole adoration for him.
And you had no idea what came over you in this moment, because once you heard him say this, you immediately pressed your lips to his, while hesitantly bringing your hands up to his face to gently hold it.
You heard his breath hitch as he soon melts into the kiss, moving his lips with yours and holding onto your wrists. His lips were soft and warm, and he was being nothing but gentle with you. You felt the the tender skin of his burn against your fingertips, your delicate and careful touch soothing him.
You weren’t sure what kind of confidence boost let you do something so impulsive as kissing someone. But the entire night, Billy had been relentlessly winning over your heart, expressing his immense admiration for you. You fell for him. And you had to do something about that.
“Fuck, you know, that…” he began hoarsely once your lips have separated, yet your faces were still very close to each other, switching back and forth from looking deeply into one’s eyes to their lips. “That was fucking evil. That just made it even harder for me to leave you,” he stressed as you two let out small, quiet chuckles.
He convinced you enough, you thought. What did you really have to lose…?
Or, rather, what would you gain?
“You don’t have to,” your voice was slightly raspy as you spoke with a smirk.
And what you would say next had marked your decision. “I’m coming with you, cowboy.”
He parted his lips in shock, so before he could say anything, you just kissed him again, deeply and affectionately, as you couldn’t help but smile in the kiss. You felt him pull you closer by the waist in a fairly strong grip, as if you were to disappear if he let you go. It was a sweet and affectionate kiss, the two of you expressing your admiration and fondness for each other. It was supposed to be cold, hell, it was December in New York. But you couldn’t help but feel pure warmth each second your kiss remained.
*** Two Weeks Later ***
“Open it,” you giggle softly.
“Seriously, when did you get the time to wrap a whole ass gift when we’ve been, like, on the road together this whole time?” Billy says with a smile as he examines the thin, neatly wrapped box in his hands.
“I found a service. While you were preoccupied. Now shut up. Happy Holidays. Open the damn thing.”
It’s been about two weeks since you agreed with leaving with him. After resigning from your job, you basically packed your bags and savings and he picked you up. You two didn’t face any problems so far as you traveled east. You only had an increased admiration for each other, as well as mutual understandings.
Now, you were in an empty parking lot, keeping warm inside the car during the evening. You surprised him with a wrapped gift for the holidays.
You watched him rip off the wrapping paper, making you involuntarily laugh as you saw his expression of disbelief, represented by his playful scoff and the rolling of his eyes.
‘Never Get Angry Again: The Foolproof Way to Stay Calm and in Control in Any Conversation or Situation’ by David J. Lieberman, PhD
He raised his eyebrows as he read over the cover of the anger management book and presented it to you. “Seriously?”
You snicker impishly as you see an amused smile creep at the corner of his lips. “Told you I would, didn’t I?”
“You are terrible,” Billy joked endearingly with a low chuckle.
“I know,” you retort cunningly, reaching over the center console of the car to give him a soft peck on the lips.
“But you have to admit, Y/n, I have been working on myself ever since,” he points out, making you scoff.
“Yeah, but you totally lashed out on that one guy when we were at that convenience store in Pittsburgh,” you insist.
“Okay, well, in my defense, I really didn’t like the way he was looking at you,” he shrugged with a knowing grin.
“Damn, should I have gotten you a book on jealousy as well?” you sneer.
“Hey, watch it,” he warned playfully.
“You know what, yeah, you’re right. I digress,” you concur nonchalantly. “If it weren’t for him getting an intense reaction out of you, then you wouldn’t have taken me straight to the bathroom and—”
“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” he chuckled softly as you laughed at your own delivery. “Just…” He reached in the back, grabbing a brown box that was sealed with clear tape. “Open your gift. Sorry I didn’t have the time to wrap it, like, I still have no idea how you had the time to do it behind my back, but yeah.”
He handed you his keys so you could rip the tape, then you opened the box, being met with styrofoam packaging. You removed the top layer, and then let out a small gasp as you saw the object, taking it in your hands.
It was a small Albany, New York snow globe. You were beaming as you shook it, watching the “snow” fall down on the capitol building.
“I thought you’d be homesick, so I snatched it right before we left,” he explained, smiling as he sees your reaction.
“Oh my god, Billy, it’s perfect,” you say in awe, then reach over the center console again to hug him tightly, feeling his arms wrap around you. “Thank you so much,” you say, kissing him deeply on his lips.
“‘F course, Y/n,” he mumbled sweetly, affectionately returning your kisses.
“You’re perfect,” you nearly whispered as you set the snow globe back in the box so your hands were free to hold his face. He always loved when you would do that. It brought a sort of comfort to him, making him feel safe and secure. He leaned into your touch as you kissed the right side of his face—his forehead and cheek—which were the areas that had been mildly burnt.
“Even when I robbed a gas station?” He asked under his breath, raising an eyebrow.
“Seriously?”
He always had a problem with being defined and associated with criminality, so you found it quite ironic for him to point it out.
“I’m fucking with you.”
You shove him playfully, which only resulted in him bringing you into an intense, deep kiss. “You are so perfect too, you know that?” He mutters softly. “I’m so fucking glad you came with me.” He artfully grabbed your hand and looked at you intimately as he pressed a gentle kiss to your wrist—the one that was zip tied to his. The one where the bruise on it had now been fully healed and gone.
“Me too,” you murmur ardently.
#billy burn x reader#burn billy x reader#billy burn x gn!reader#billy burn x you#billy x reader#billy x you#billy x gn!reader#billy from burn#burn 2019#burn x reader#josh hutcherson#burn josh hutcherson#josh hutcherson x reader#josh hutcherson characters#josh hutcherson x you#mike schmidt#fnaf#clapton davis#sean anderson#peeta mellark#gn reader#gn!reader#gender neutral reader
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summary: A bad day turns even worse when the couple get stuck in an elevator, but JJ is there for her the way she needs. Or, day eleven of ghostie's spooktober spectacular.
read here on ao3.
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“This is your fault.”
“This is so not my fault.”
“You asked for this to happen!”
JJ shot the girl a look, eyes narrowed and a look of frustration painted on his face. “Please, Kie, tell me how this is my fault.”
“You just had to go and say, ‘it’s not like we can get anymore late’” she grumbled in a horrible impression of his voice. “And now look! You’ve jinxed us!”
“Jinxed us?!” JJ spluttered incredulously.
“Jinxed us!” Kiara snapped back, furiously pressing random buttons along the elevator panel as if that would do anything to help.
“That’s not gonna do anything,” he supplied unhelpfully as he slumped back against the wall, admitting defeat fairly easily which only seemed to irritate her more.
“One of them has got to do something!” she argued back, eyebrows furrowed together with a slight crease forming between them.
“Maybe the big red one with EMERGENCY written underneath it.”
“Your sarcasm isn’t appreciated, Jay.”
“Neither is your panic, Kie.”
The whole day had been disaster after disaster for the two of them, and the frustration was finally settled deep into her bones by this point. It had started with missing costumes and last-minute changes forced to be made after weeks of planning and hand crafting. Then quickly followed by car issues that JJ was adamant he could fix in five minutes but resulted in them waiting twenty minutes for a tow truck before they called a taxi.
And now they were stuck in the fucking elevator that was their last obstacle before they reached Sarah and John B’s apartment for their Halloween Bash.
Luck clearly wasn’t on their side and Kiara was just ready to throw down a rag and call it a day.
“Hey,” he murmured, this time a little softer and far more sincere as he reached to gently grip her arm and pull her away from the elevator control panel. “It’s fine, they got the distress signal. They’ll get us out soon.”
Kiara stared at the panel of lit up buttons as though they would suddenly change, that a quick and easy solution would appear just before her. She didn’t want to panic, of course she didn’t.
But she couldn’t help the growing nausea in the pit of her stomach.
“You’re not in the sewers anymore, Kie,” JJ spoke up again, closing the small distance between them as his hand slid down her arm to intertwine her fingers between his. “You’re okay. We’re okay. We’ll be out of here in no time.”
“I just don’t like it,” she whispered, barely audible but it made his heart clench nonetheless.
Despite constantly assuring the boys she was okay, Kiara had never truly been okay after the incident in the sewer. Small spaces become uncomfortable, the walls would start to feel like they were closing in on her if she was still for too long and she absolutely hated ever admitting any of it.
JJ knew. Of course he fucking knew because he knew her better than she knew herself, and it killed him a little inside to know there was nothing he could really do other than reassure her they were okay.
They weren’t trapped. They weren’t stuck. They were going to be okay.
“C’mere,” he murmured as he tugged her close, arms wrapping around her shoulders as she promptly nuzzled herself into the crook of his neck. Her makeup would be ruined and smudged over his costume, but neither of them cared.
“This stupid party better be worth it,” Kiara mumbled as she closed her eyes, pretending they weren’t trapped in a little metal box held by a few cables. She imagined they were in the living room of their shared apartment, swaying together aimlessly. A sweet, genuine memory to replace the horror of reality.
“I’ll make it worth your time, baby,” JJ teased lightly, only to squirm against her hold when she gently pinched his hip. “Aye, keep your hands to yourself, woman. Plenty of time later in the night for that.”
���You’re a dork.”
“That’s not gonna be changing anytime soon, Kie.”
“Good.”
Neither one of them felt the need to disturb the silence between them. They stood there, arms wrapped around each other and gently swaying in the spot as the elevator beeped once again, as it began to climb up the floors and eventually reach the number they needed.
Neither of them said anything as they made their way down the hallway to Sarah and John B’s place, loud bumping music already filtering through the closed door.
Nobody ever really questioned the soft imprint of makeup on JJ’s shoulder, or the smudged makeup along one side of her face. They were both sure people had their own creative ideas, made up their own conclusions on why the couple were late.
But it didn’t matter. Not to JJ and not to Kiara, and certainly not to anybody who really knew the story.
And certainly not half the party by the end of the night after their teasing but deadly stubborn back and forth on who’s fault their late appearance to the party was.
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#ghostie's spooktober spectacular#jiara#outer banks#jj maybank#kiara carrera#jiara fic#jiara fanfic#jiara fanfiction#outer banks fic#outer banks fanfic#outer banks fanfiction#obx fic#obx fanfic#obx fanfiction#my writing
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Thoughts on Smackdown?
Hey anon! Good to have you back! I’m always so happy when this message pops up in my inbox, you wouldn’t believe it 💜
Thanks for sticking with me through all my ramblings and novel-length replies to this. (I lovingly call you “my Smackdown anon” inside my own head & if you couldn’t tell, I’m rather fond of you!)
Short answer: Honestly? I LOVED the latest episode of SD 😭 The only thing I didn’t care for was the AJ Styles/Karrion Kross thing, but other than that the show was really right up my alley!
Segment by segment under the cut (as always):
Charlotte vs. Asuka: I loved seeing the women open the show! Kinda gives me hope that we’ll finally be having a couple of good feuds in the women’s division again. We’ll see. The match was really good and I didn’t mind the finish with Damage CTRL interfering. I’d love to see an actual Iyo/Asuka feud over the championship, so I’m still kinda hoping they’ll bring a heel!Bianca back into the mix to feud with Charlotte far away from the championship picture. I also hope they’ll keep the title on Iyo for a while, so the eventual Iyo/Bayley feud can involve the title. That’s my wishful thinking though. My guess is they’re going for a triple threat Iyo/Charlotte/Asuka for this one? But I’m still not sure where Bianca fits in, so I still have hope.
AJ Styles vs. Karrion Kross: Like I said, I do not care and I doubt I ever will. The Karrion Kross thing is simply not working for me and I’m bored. I love seeing Michin though, so that’s a little light in the dark that was this match/ this entire "feud".
Edge/ Sheamus Promo: God this promo made me so emotional. I’m not gonna lie, I cried. A LOT. Edge is the wrestler who turned me into a fan as a kid. His match against Mick Foley at WM turned me from a casual watcher into a devoted fan/weekly watcher all the way back then. (I know I keep repeating myself, but this man is why I’m a wrestling fan in the first place and in a different reality with different physical limitations I would’ve become a wrestler because of him). When he retired for the first time, I was in a state of complete shock and didn’t stop crying over it for a long long time. Hell, I even had to stop watching for a while back then. His comeback is still one of my favorite memories of all time and if the rumor mill is telling the truth and the match against Sheamus truly is his last one… then I’m so glad I got to witness his second run and that he gets to go out on his own terms and share the ring with the person who got him back into it in the first place. These two mean so much to each other and each other’s careers, so seeing them in the ring together? God I’m not even gonna see the match through all these tears, am I? Guaranteed banger incoming! The point is: I fucking LOVE Edge, okay? He’ll always be the man who got me hooked on wrestling and he’ll always be one of the greatest to ever do it.
LA Knight vs. Top Dolla: I say it every week. LA Knight needs longer matches and better opponents. But I like what they have going on with him and Miz over on Raw, so I didn’t mind this as much as I usually would. His lil promo was another feel good moment. I feel like this SD was full of these, maybe that’s part of why I liked it so much.
Street Profits & Lashley: I love these weekly build-up promos 👀 And I can’t wait till they finally get into the ring for an actual match again. That gold comment - the sky is the limit 👀 Let’s hope so! Give them some good and strong opponents pls! Now that The Usos aren’t running the tag division on SD (at least temporarily), we need good teams to keep the division relevant!
Rey vs. Theory: Theory having to attack Santos not once, but twice to stop him from competing? I’m sorry, that’s kinda hilarious lmao. We all know I fucking hate the guy, no secrets there, so when they announced Rey vs Theory I cheered so damn loud! It was probably the plan all along, but they had to change plans for a bit, until Rey’s condition was all clear. So the attack angle made perfect sense and REY FUCKING WON YES!!! My god I’m so glad that he did! (1) he obviously deserved it so much and (2) thank god I won’t have to see that fucking idiot carrying around that belt anymore. Rey is a believable and awesome candidate to beat Theory and he made that idiot look good, still. Theory’s thing obviously isn’t working rn, so even though I hate it, they’ll probably work on changing stuff and build him up over time. The extra pressure is off now that he no longer holds the title though. I think they should send him walking, but it’s WWE, so y’know. They’ll obviously keep the sleazebag. I’m so so excited for Rey though! I’m hoping that they won’t turn it into a lengthy Rey/Theory feud though, keep that idiot far far away from any title picture and maybe off my tv for a while for good? Pls and thx.
Bloodline/ Jey / Jimmy aka the Main event: First of all? That “Why Jimmy why?” sign cracked me up so bad for some reason. And Jimothy popping up outta nowhere like a badass? Idk, it had me laughing (in a good way). And the “you sold out“ chants? Yes pls. Give that boy all the damn heat! (He had no business looking this fine btw, just saying 👀) And then that little spiel from Roman with Paul doing his gestures in the background lmao. I keep saying it and I’ll probably say it a whole lot more. If you don’t love Paul Heyman, you’re doing something wrong. Jimothy’s “I don’t want nothing from you“ - as we predicted he didn’t do it for Roman (thank god for that. I couldn’t have handled another “I did it for The Rock. I did it for the people!” situation - of you know you know) And Roman being so obviously confused and arrogant about the whole thing (and Paul acting all offended on his behalf lmao). Man really thinks the sun shines out of his ass. Each segment is gold, my god. These Samoans (and the Wise Man) give me life 😭😭😭 And then Jey comes out and makes the whole thing a million times better. He looked ready for bloody murder 🥵 Jimmy telling Roman to stand down and that he got this and Roman actually doing just that? Something shady is going on here. Jimmy, babe, I see you and I love you, but I don’t trust your evil ass as far as I can throw it. I LOVE looking at Roman and Paul while Jimmy gives his explanation to Jey lmao. Roman is so done with Jimmy’s ass lol. And the way he looked so fucking proud of himself, especially when the crowd started the “asshole“ chant while Paul was once again so offended on his behalf? God the LAYERS to this segment were once again INSANE. They went through so many genres here, damn. Like… we know this is cinema and it really truly proves to be cinema week in week out. I love how even Solo reacts visibly. None and I mean NONE of them were buying Jimmy’s bullshit and neither was Jey. You keep lying through your teeth Jimothy, but people will see straight through your crap. Man when Jey turned his back on Jimmy. Just… GOLD. And Roman’s evil bitch laugh pls. I love that man and I hate that man and I love to hate that man 😭 “Acknowledge m-“ *eats superkick to the face*, I should not have laughed as loudly as I did. Jey really said I’m gonna clean house today. And then Jimmy fucking ran to him with open arms and Jey kicked him in the face? I WAS SCREAMING. JEY USO THE MAN YOU ARE 😭😭😭 I dunno if this was supposed to get me super emotional or not, but I was laughing so hard throughout the whole thing, cause that shit was so entertaining. Jey gave zero fucks about any of this shit lmao. BADASS. They really said let’s strap a rocket to this man’s butt and push him to the moon before he takes his well-deserved break. They turned him into a rockstar with this segment. I said what I said. (I’m gonna miss Jey while he’s gone for sure, I’m gonna miss the rest of them if they’re gonna off tv for a while too, but this segment was a good and memorable way to send them off in my opinion. Now I’m sitting here like this is Finding Nemo and I’m one of those damn fish in the plastic bags asking “Now what?”)
Overall, as I said at the beginning, I really LOVED this episode. It had so many feel good moments and just so many things I genuinely enjoyed!
Thanks again for asking, anon & many hugs to you! 💕
#anon#lovely anon#m answers#replies#sorry that this is so late#I just love sitting down and genuinely taking time out of my day to watch/rewatch the show and write all of this down
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Life update time!
Because when else other than a Sunday morning drinking tea suits?
Life has been madness since we got back from Melbourne. Airnz cancelled our flights home so it took and extra 36 hours to get back, and we didn’t sleep for 24 of it since we had to go via Auckland. It was so bad. More jet lagged from that than when we went to America and came home after 5 weeks 😂😂😂 we were also lucky - we knew people who weren’t getting back until three days later. It was such chaos over there honestly
You can absolutely tell that travel demand is back to pre covid levels but all the services are not back up at the level they need to be. Yikes.
Melbs was awesome as per usual. We got to completely divorce reality for a good 8 days and just hang out together which was amazing and very needed after this year. Not that we’ve been struggling or anything but fuck I’ve missed Dave. There’s just been so much going on and moving home for two months was rough. Also we met all my cousins the first day we were there which was lovely and I had a fab discussion with my cousin who I haven’t seen since everything with dad. I was talking about how hard it was and she was like look, I spent last weekend crying over Eve So it doesn’t really stop you just build around it. Eve was her baby that was stillborn at 36 weeks and it was so heartbreaking for them. And it was nice just to know that like, yep, it’s Fkn miserable and that doesn’t change but life keeps happening because honestly, finding good grief resources is hard Fkn work and I’ve struggled with it this year.
We did all our usual (zoo, ikea, shopping, wandering) and just like chatting and talking and wandering through gardens and we went to the museum and it was so lush. Like what a Fkn gift of time and space we gave ourselves honestly. I loved it.
Got home from that entirely sleep deprived and mum called me in absolute tears less than 30 minutes after getting home. It was rough. I’m still exceptionally annoyed at the extended fam for having dropped the ball so Fkn badly. And I’m even more annoyed at my sister who took advantage of our absence and spent the week trying to get mum to move to Wellington which is more convenient for them but mum would absolutely hate tbh. So that was a rough reintroduction.
I went back to work the next day only to find out the utter SHIT my team had pulled in my absence and had to put two of them on formal performance management. It’s been a fucking nightmare.
And it basically hasn’t stopped since then. On the plus side, I’ve hired two new people who start tomorrow (yay!!!) so I’m off to Auckland to do induction with them. They’ll be super good value I think. I’m looking forward to it.
Life’s been a bit more settled with less travel up to whanganui and back. I had to laugh when I was talking to my the other day coz we were both like, I haven’t seen you in forever! It’s been five weeks but in the context of this year…. It’s the longest we’ve been apart since January? I think? It’s been good to be a bit of a homebody again because Dave and I are both just cooked at the end of this year. Both sleeping in til 10am on weekends without any effort just trying to play catch up. Just absolutely knackered. So it’s been nice to hang with each other again and just stay home.
An offer for mums house fell over this week so that’s been incredibly hard. We just need to get her off the block so she can actually move into the next phase of figuring out what life without dad looks like and it’s so hard to be physically unable to do that for her. I’m annoyed it’s not going to be this side of Christmas which is even more difficult but anyway. I was really hoping it wouldn’t carry over to the new year but sigh I guess it’s gunna. On the plus side, she’s volunteering at the foodbank again which gets her out of the house and around people and contributing meaningfully again so that’s been excellent.
Dave’s getting hammered with work at the moment but he’s doing ok I think. He never talks about missing dad or anything since he knows how much of mums load (and my own) I’m carrying but I’m not sure it’ll be good in the long run. Oh well.
I am going ok ish for the most part. I’m just so exhausted. I ended up extending my Christmas leave through til 10 Jan so have 2.5 weeks off which is excellent and needed. We’re not going anywhere and are just gunna chill at home and have a staycation. It’s going to be delightful.
I’ve been thinking about goals and stuff and how I want next year to play out. We were meant to start trying for kids this year which obviously didn’t happen so that’s probably still on the cards for next year. I think the thing I’m coming closer and closer to is just quitting social media and books and just trying to absolutely settle into my life and being where my feet are. After the last few years I think I just need to stop for a while and figure out what all these new parts of me are and how to integrate them and where I stand. It’s v confusing. I just want a quiet simple easy year filled with good friends and quality time with people and space for myself and sunshine and deliciousness and laughter and existence in its simplest form. I don’t want it to feel so effortful. I dunno. Fortunately I have a decent break to spend some time on it.
I was trying to explain it to Anne the other day and failed miserable. What would life look like if my inner world was so much more clear and certain? If I shored up all my reserves in myself and knew I was good enough to withstand it all? If i wasn’t so stuck on the whims and fancies of others? If they didn’t get to affect me so much? If I trusted myself so certainly that what other people said or did I would still be ok? If I had defined success for myself and what I wanted? Ugh I dunno. It’s a work in progress. And a lot of tangled thinking behind it. (Just a casual 12 years worth).
In other news, we’ve been thoroughly enjoying. Utopia on Netflix. Harry and Meghan on Netflix. Christmas movies. Michelle Obamas new book. No sugar Vanilla Coke. Almighty blood orange sparkling water. Evening walks to the river in the sunshine. Just being more active generally. Reconnecting with friends after a mad mad year. The prospect of a new year on the horizon and the hope that it can’t be any shittier than the year we’ve just lived through touch wood. Travelling for work again. Christmas shopping all being done. The fact meowser is still alive and mostly well and with us. Sunshine. Fresh starts. Some breathing room.
I know I’m gunna be ok.
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Secret Relationship (2) Masterlist
part one
Always (ao3) - stelleshine
michael/luke
E, 2k
Summary: Luke hates Michael's obsession with Snapchat, but loves Michael more than the moon.
Cake By The Ocean (ao3) - HPFangirl71
luke/calum
E, 1k
Summary: Just the boys having fun in Bali......
I was sort of inspired by the DNCE song but only in the fact that it inspired the title and the premise of our ship Cake having sex by the ocean. lol Its basically just a reason for more Cake smut!!
I Don't Wanna Say Goodbye To Another Night (ao3) - pommedhappy
michael/ashton
E, 2k
Summary: Michael smiles widely at the gaping boy in front of him.
“Mikey? What the fuck?”
Michael is afraid for one second that Ashton will run away, but when the surprise fades, the older boy takes a few hesitant steps towards the bed.
They have been fooling around for the last few weeks, grinding on each other as soon as they are certain to be alone, touching each other in dark stalls of clubs, but it’s the first time they spend a night in a hotel since this thing between them has started and Michael wanted to make the most of a wide bed.
If They Find Out, Will It All Go Wrong? (ao3) - flowercrownmikey
michael/calum
E, 15k
Summary: OR// (5+1) The five times Calum and Michael sleep together but don't want anything to change, and the one time everything changes. Basically a fat LOAD of smutty smut smut ;)
I Miss You (ao3) - stelleshine
michael/luke
T, 1k
Summary: Luke loves Michael, but seeing Michael sunburned reminds him that they're still secret, still hidden.
Maelstrom (ao3) - merlypops
luke/ashton
E, 225k
Summary: Ashton is struggling, Luke is hiding, and Michael and Calum just want to make things work. (And maybe Ashton and Luke fall in love too. Maybe.)
over and under (ao3) - kaleidoscopeminds
luke/calum
E, 10k
Summary: “We really need to stop doing this.”
“I know.”
Luke says he won’t do this again.
They both agree they won’t do this again when they’re dressed, in Luke’s living room and not his bedroom, when Calum’s about to leave to see his other friends and Luke’s going to the studio to write.
It’s easy to agree not to do it again when Calum’s not touching him.
Post-You Blues - @daydadahlias cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)
calum/ashton
T, 6k
Summary: Calum and Ashton fix each other when someone else breaks them. They’re the only ones who know how to, after all.
Subject Line - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias))
calum/ashton
E, 20k
Summary: Maybe the sunrise doesn’t matter much after all. Calum can watch the sunrise any day. How many days will he get Ashton like this? Shirtless, sporting bedhead in a hotel room, with just the two of them for a few lazy hours alone?
Soon enough, they’ll be back on the tour bus and Calum won’t be allowed to hold Ashton’s hand anymore.
The Bass Player (ao3) - boomercal
calum/ashton
E, 69k
Summary: It's his first big tour with his relatively newly joined band, opening for his favourite band in highschool. So what if he's always found the drummer hot, nothing's going to come of it, and it would unprofessional if something did happen.
the situation is like a mountain that's been weighing on my conscience - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor)
luke/ashton, michael/calum
T, 2k
Summary: Luke is closeted and nobody outside of the band, and close family, knows that he has a secret husband. During promo for Youngblood, Luke suffers a panic attack when the interviewer asks a personal question. Cue, Ashton to the rescue and comfort.
unmute (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes)
luke/ashton, luke/ofc, michael/crystal
M, 21k
Summary: In 2011, Luke Hemmings met Ashton Irwin for the first time. In 2020, he told the world they’re married. This is the story of everything that happened in between.
The Off-Screen prequel
#5sosfanfictioncatalogue#5sos fanfic#masterlists#au#secretrelationship#secretrelationship masterlist
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Custom Toonami Block Week 165 Rundown
Spy X Family: It’s the final battle for Yor’s cruise ship arc and I kinda like how they aren’t pulling any punches, like she had to be stealthy before so they had some pacificst takedowns but the majority of these people in this final gauntlet definitely died. The whole episode is basically one long boss rush action sequence with Yor fighting all the assassins underneath the fireworks which is a pretty cool setpiece. At this point Yor’s crossroads of destiny story arc is coming to a head and she’s actually afraid because not only is she dies will she be leaving a family behind but if she even gets severely hurt they’ll have to pull her out of Loid’s house and pretend she got transferred so she’s kind of having a crisis of faith about whether to be an assassin anymore while also holding back to avoid hurting herself so she’s not really fighting her best when the samurai guy comes to kick her ass. Still she’s able to pull herself together and tell herself that she’s fighting for the people close to her so there’s less evil in the world they’ll live in (I still doubt the odds that someone that’s been an assassin for about two decades has killed exclusively evil people that absolutely deserve it but whatever she needs to tell herself). There’s also a small side story with Yuri getting sick and specifically getting the shittiest brand of herbal tea because it reminds him of Yor’s terrible tea which is pretty funny.
Inuyasha: This episode is kinda weird because we’re literally like 1-2 episodes away from the end of the original series and this one sets up a whole fuckton of plot threads that won’t get resolved until The Final Act and makes it so you kinda need a refresher before going into The Final Act so like why did they decide to end it on this specific arc, I get the feeling the show just kinda reached a breaking point where they couldn’t do any more filler for as long as it was taking for the manga to progress. Anyway, following up sort from the parasites last week, only tangentially related is a demon mountain that has a secret stone that can hide demonic aura completely and Naraku fucking steals it and decides to jump Kikyo. Like Naraku seems to be ridiculously good at hiding since the only times they find him are when he comes out to attack someone and wants to be found or when he’s laying a trap so idk why he cares about hiding himself or his Heart Baby at this point given none of the five factions that hate his guts have any clue where he is at any moment. Still it’s kinda funny how since we left Inuyasha’s Dad’s Grave Naraku’s been like ‘fuck Kikyo, gotta find Kikyo’ and we have a whole arc about how hard it is to find Kikyo and Kohaku just kinda… trips over her in the woods and Naraku uses his new stealth rock to jump her and then uses Weezing’s Smokescreen to get away when Inuyasha’s group show up even though he’s literally immortal at this point there’s no reason for him to run. The demon mountain gave Inuyasha’s group some crystals that track his stealth rock which ironically makes what Naraku’s using to hide himself the best way to find him. Still after some minor obligatory ‘Inuyasha talked to Kikyo how dare he have a strictly business conversation with his ex idk’ drama, the group starts finding zombie demon chimeras because Hakudoshi’s been experimenting doing Mahito’s soul transfiguration shit to make the perfect demon guard body for the Heart Baby which seems like a lot of work given Inuyasha’s able to just Wind Scar/ Adamant Barrage it like everything else even if they get away. Now this kinda fucking kills me, Hakudoshi sends flesh tentacles into Miroku’s robe and has a brief fight with him and instead of just… you know, stabbing through his defenseless enemy he has the tentacles roam around inside Miroku’s robe to grab the stealth rock seeking crystals and harmlessly steal them, like are they even trying to kill anyone that isn’t Inuyasha anymore? Feel like the others would be dead five times over if Naraku’s gang bothered to acknowledge them at all. But yeah that’s where we’re at, entering the final little adventure and they just dumped Naraku making a body and stealing a stealth rock for his heart, Hakudoshi doing soul chimera shit and a half dozen other plot threads in our lap that will get absolutely no payoff for five years if you were watching the original run.
Yu Yu Hakusho: It’s the last episode before the epilogue and the fight is kinda disappoint tbh, idk what it is but the Demon Tournament fights just haven’t had it, though it is kinda funny that the pinnacle of demonic power just devolves into Yomi and Yusuke putting all their energy into their fists and punching the shit out of each other, like they’re not even punches that are that strong they just have glowing fists for doing normal-ass punches. Still, the aftermath of the fight is pretty nice, Yusuke actually losing and Yomi winning because of his son, it’s a good way to show how the tables have turned and how Yusuke’s opponent is now the one fighting for his loved ones (though Yusuke still gets the friendship boost and becomes ‘definitely a new power level take our word for it it’s not Sacred Energy but it’s essentially no different’) Also the tournament is won by one of Raizen’s friends who makes a ‘no fucking with humans’ policy his campaign slogan and Yomi and Mukuro were too tired from their previous fights to beat their next opponent which like… for all the shit they pulled in the Dark Tournament arc they at least let them rest between rounds or use healing magic or some shit except for that one round where they were like ‘okay next fight’s… right now, go’ like imagine if Toguro was the semi-finale fight and then they just had to like immediately fight Chu’s team or some shit and lost like that’d be some bullshit, Yusuke’s all grown up and rigging the rules in his favor like a real adult. It’s kinda funny how much of a vacancy Kuwabara not being here leaves like I get he has no place in a demon tournament but they have to inject what he would’ve said into many parts of this episode because having Yusuke’s most important ally miss the finale is also kinda bullshit. I also kinda don’t understand the rules here like Enki puts up a ‘no fucking with humans’ rule and Koenma says he’s not gonna see Yusuke again until he dies for real but Yusuke still talks about coming back to Demon World sometime and having his Dark Tournament pals visit and like… isn’t that shit against the law now? Idk. Kurama tells Hiei to fuck off and burn his own bridges if he doesn’t wanna open up to Yukina and we get the casual reveal that the whole anime is a marketing stunt by Koenma, Botan and Ogre to sell Yusuke’s greatest hits so to speak like what an odd note to end on, like I don’t think it changes anything but it’s such a weird fucking joke to pull right before the finale.
Jujutsu Kaisen: It’s time for the Gojo smackdown hour once again and this episode had the ominous aura of those ‘we’re giving a lot of foreshadowing to a character’s backstory and relationships because they’re about to die’ episodes like you’d see in Naruto where we give Kisame a three episode flashback to make us feel something about him dying. Of course Gojo dying isn’t even remotely on the table at this point, like that’s not even what the bad guys want they just wanna throw him in the Jimmy Neutron Hyper Cube. Gojo squashes Hanami like a bug and the other two can’t make much headway until Mahito shows up with a literal trainful of mooks and makes Gojo reenact the scene from Futurama where Fry drinks a hundred coffees while opening his Domain just enough to give everyone a mild coma instead of killing them since he’s pragmatic enough to not fall for hostage tactics but still doesn’t want to actively kill anyone himself. Now this combined with the sudden hypercube and the dramatic revelation that Kenjaku is controlling Geto’s corpse is enough to make Gojo’s brain stall for long enough for the hyper cube to grab him. I think they’re embellishing a bit since I don’t think Gojo’s just gonna stand there for a full minute but we did kinda just do a lot of time dilations shit but yeah I spoiled myself on this part because I had no clue what I was watching at the end of the movie (also dunno how Kenjaku grew Geto’s arm and shit back considering Yuta did do a full Uryu vs Mayuri on him and Kenjaku implies that if Gojo hadn’t done an Obi-Wan and not killed his corrupted best friend he couldn’t have made it this far. It’s just kinda funny that Gojo has to claim that everything about Geto is the same but he can tell in his soul it’s not him when it’s like bro the guy is stitched up like the doctor from Nightmare Before Christmas no duh. Like ‘Aww, what gave me away? Was it the stitches? It was the stitches wasn’t it?’ And Gojo claims that even without him Yuta’s gonna come kick Kenjaku’s ass like in the movie and like… wow way to throw everyone else that’s actually here including the real main character under the bus. Kenjaku’s just like ‘bro that temporary movie power boost bullshit ain’t gonna fly, this is canon, bitches’.
Also side note I just kinda like how the bad guys are always just hanging out playing games when they’re discussing evil plans like idk it doesn’t make them more likeable per se like I don’t like any of these guys but it gives their evil scheming more flavor. Since I was on the record of saying I was glad JJK had bad guys that were just horrible dicks with bad motives as opposed to Attack on Titan and MHA being like ‘we deserved these terrorist attacks due to the faults in society’ I like that JJK’s villain motives are ‘bad things should be the only things’ and I stand by that, their motives are still stupid despite them showing a bit more comradierie like I don’t think it’s enough to make them sympathetic but it’s enough that it keeps them from being flat, it’s a good balance.
Zom 100: It’s been a while, hasn’t it? When we last left off, Akira finally got to his hometown and we set up the Bizarro version of his crew that has a way too on the nose “BUT EVIL” version of his backstory. The majority of the episode is populating the little higurashi-style village Akira’s parents live in with small stories and people that we’re gonna feel really bad for/want to save when everything inevitably goes to shit, this is still a zombie show after all, can’t escape the Survivors Seek Sanctuary, Engage Enemy loop entirely. Plus the little tour does set up the plot points that’ll be the town’s biggest vulnerabilities. Akira also has a nice little chat with his dad where he elaborates on the whole finding a dream thing, he basically has Senku’s backstory but Taiju’s booksmarts so becoming an astronaut didn’t exactly pan out but he doesn’t regret seeking it or where he ended up because dreams are what makes a person feel alive in the end, it’s a good little topper to the message Akira’s been pushing since the beginning, kind of a more down to earth approach to following your dreams just in case there isn’t a zombie apocalypse that breaks down society as a whole freeing you up to live a life of whimsy with scantily clad anime girls, just in case. Meanwhile Higurashi enacts his plan and his plan is… ‘fuck those guys’ with ‘those guys’ being whoever he’s currently looking at. I mentioned this last time I reviewed this show but Japan seems to be weirdly adverse to talking about its systemic issues and makes anyone that has problems with the system a cartoonishly evil entitled asshole that just wants to watch the world burn or just kinda does a ‘toughen up and get through it’ mentality, like I’d say Akira is a foil to that but he didn’t really face any of the problems of society so much as it kinda fell apart around him so it’s kinda hard to take the commentary with any edge to it other than ‘shit sucks, here’s zombies’. But yeah Akira and Higurashi do end up having their faceoff and the funny thing is their bucket lists both have the exact same amount of items on them and I read through both and Higurashi’s list isn’t THAT different from Akira’s in some spots, like a lot of them are just ‘murder murder murder’ but there are some that are just like ‘buy cool shit’ which is what Akira was doing in some of his more materialistic entries. Like something weird about Higurashi’s group is that as dark and abusive as they are, they seem to want make sure everyone gets eaten by zombies instead of actively killing anyone themselves, like one of them has a fucking gun and is just shooting it in the air, that may change but for the moment they don’t seem to want to actively murder anyone, just murder by proxy through the zombies which is still shitty but it’s a weird place to draw the line. Akira rightly tells them off that you can do what you want but you can’t just go around stopping people from doing what they want which is what makes up the bulk of United States Supreme Court cases so that’s kind of a sticky moral but it’s a little more clear when your bad guys are literally just ‘I wanna kill people and blow shit up because this dude I met in college seemed happier than me’ but yeah, it’s showdown time.
Ranking of Kings: Man we have a lot of finales today don’t we? We’re really close on like half these series but this is the only one where it’s the straight-up last episode. Anyway… FINALLY, PROGRESS, like jeez I’m kinda more mad the put one episode of story progress at the end of this series of filler but it’s just been so long since I’ve been excited about this series I don’t care. Desha finally gets into the Ranking of Kings vault and it turns out after a layer of fakeout prizes designed to weed out the greedy kings, the real-ish prize is… a wish from a demon. We just had that though like several characters in the series have had that and it doesn’t seem worth all the effort of being the top of the ranking, as powerful as it is there are clearly other avenues and it still comes with the curse of twisting a demon child and the bounceback monkey’s paw effect that always happens unless you literally have their head I guess. So Desha wishes to restore Ouken at the cost of all of his own memories and just kinda becomes a bum on the side of the road that Bojji and Kage… just kinda pass right by. Ouken gets to show off why it was good to revive him and is a fucking badass breaking into the Ranking vault and fucking KILLING A GOD by pissing himself which is way cooler than it sounds. We don’t really find out what’s going on with the Rankings vault but the shadowy observers of the vault are people that Ouken regards as ‘innocent life’ and immediately halts his rampage and even puts his life on the line to kill the god to protect them so I’m guessing they’re some sort of former kings that have been set at the task of being imprisoned in the vault for some purpose and have avoided being corrupted by it. Meanwhile Kage and Bojji have hit their destination at random RPG town and Kage reflects that Bojji is way too innocent to make it on his own and resolves to be smart enough to let him keep his innocence so he can do the streetwise stuff in his place because he doesn’t want Bojji to lose his trusting nature like he did which is a nice note to end on but another example of ‘setting up plot threads in the finale for some reason’.
Vinland Saga: Einar fucking tanks all the farmhands and gets them to run off and the rest of the episode is Thorfinn’s coma dream. I like that even though there’s explicit theological metaphor going on here it’s not like Thorfinn’s in a real death’s door situation, like this isn’t him literally falling into hell it’s just how his mind is interpreting his current struggle. He initially sees his dad but Thors is just like “I know you been fucking up, killing people and shit’ and he falls into a chasm that’s a very grim depiction of what Valhalla sounds like with everyone just murdering everyone all the time, though Askeladd shows up and tells him that’s just how the world works for people who can only use violence. It’s basically Thorfinn’s disillusionment with his warrior culture and how an afterlife where people fight all the time sounds really shitty to him at this point since he didn’t like doing it when he was alive and living in a world full of senseless wars is just as bad. He’s feeling pretty shitty about decking the farmhand last episode and feels like he’s regressing back to someone that just kills his way out of all his problems, it’s one of those progress isn’t linear moments that shows why Thorfinn would benefit from some modern psychology if he could live another thousand years or so. But yeah it’s a very neat scene where the bodies of Thorfinn’s victims become the platform for him to rise out of the pit of violence since he can’t exactly bring them back but he can always stop being shitty. Thorfinn wakes up and tells Einar he won’t ever hurt someone again and this is going to be a weird series if it’s just Thorfinn Steven Universing his way out of ancient Denmark, because that’s a very tall order. I definitely admire the message and the resolve and definitely killing people is bad but if Thorfinn’s really gonna never lay a finger on anyone again he’s gonna need the best Talk No Jutsu on the planet or just never run into a guy that just wants to murder people again because that WILL happen and I’m not ready to do Morgan’s character cycle from Walking Dead all over again, they already did it like five times in that show so I’m curious to see how the writing maintains Thorfinn’s pacifism while not looking like it’s selectively only giving him conflicts he can talk his way out of.
I don't have anything planned for next week to replace Ranking of Kings and with several other series ending within the next couple weeks I'll start thinking of new shows to watch but I'd be willing to let the rest of the month be smaller blocks for the time being until I can find some stuff I really want to watch.
#ooc#Toonami#Custom Toonami Block#Spy X Family#Inuyasha#Yu Yu Hakusho#Jujutsu Kaisen#Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead#Ranking of Kings#Vinland Saga
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My deltarune divorce diagram has gotten a lot of attention which naturally also means a lot of criticism. I thought I’d make a separate post to address the most common feedback
First, here’s the diagram again in case you haven’t seen it
Pretty good right? I love making these a lot. It’s nice that other people like them too but the core audience for them has always just been me. I find myself making them even when I read stuff no one else has ever heard of and I don’t have anyone to share them with
Now here are some issues people have had and my responses
Asgore and Rudy should be marked as romantic
There’s no heterosexual explanation for their behavior but all that’s actually in the game so far is a lot of subtext. Deltarune operates in a frame where bigotry doesn’t directly exist but its effects are still visible so I doubt the game will ever say it outright but the obvious interpretation of the fact that they both married women instead of each other is that they’re still closeted. It will be really interesting to see how this evolves given that Asgore has ruined his own marriage now and may be on the way to ruining Rudy’s too.
You should have included the ghost family/the mad ghost’s crush on Asgore
This one is completely valid actually. The reason I left them off is because they’ve played a very very small role so far (we don’t even have sprites for Mettaton or Maddy!) and half of what we know about them is just things from undertale that might or might not still be true in deltarune. Here’s what the chart with them looks like
I really hope we get more of them in the rest of the game though! Between transitioning to become an anime catgirl and having dual crushes on Asgore and Undyne Maddy appears to have pretty much exactly the same taste as Alphys and I’d love to see that explored
Asgore is too nice to hate Sans
No he’s not.
Alphys and Undyne should be marked as romantic
Considering how things turned out in Undertale it’s almost certain they’ll be getting together again but this diagram is meant to document the current state of affairs and right now they’ve only known each other for half a day. Their nebulous meetcute crush is very cute though.
Toriel and Sans aren’t really flirting, they’re just friends
Between Sans implying he’s fucking Kris’ mom and Asgore’s reaction to seeing them together there’s definitely some degree of romantic subtext to their relationship. This is marked as a maybe for a reason
When did Rudy talk about hating Sans?
This dialogue is super easy to miss because you only get it if you come back and talk to Rudy about Asgore after seeing the eggs-husband scene
Sans didn’t actually say he gives Asgore free pickles, posts-from-a-darker-timeline made that up
Nope! what posts-from-a-darker-timeline made up was Sans talking about “befriending” Asgore the same way he talked about Toriel. The free pickles thing is real!
Alphys has a crush on Toriel
There’s no evidence for this but it would be extremely funny. Edit: see here
Everything about the Mayor
Mayor Holiday is an extremely important character who hasn’t actually appeared onscreen yet so everything we know about her is inferred from other people talking about her and is therefore somewhat speculative. Going over it all is too much for this post so I’ll be doing a separate writeup about her soon
Asgore is the protagonist of a soap opera
HE SURE FUCKING IS. DIVORCE DIMENSION. IT’S SO GOOD
Sans just moved here and he’s already in the middle of this mess
God can you even imagine? You’ve been in town for under a week, you’ve made friends with a nice local milf, and somehow in the process you’ve managed to involve yourself in a nightmare sitcom dramedy that stars half the adults in town. Two separate people hate your guts. He’s having a real time of it
#deltarune#asgore dreemurr#mettaton#mad mew mew#undyne#napstablook#rudy holiday#sans#sans undertale#toriel dreemurr#alphys#divorce dimension
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Rarepair headcanons because I am ignoring my problems
Serodeku:
Izuku reenacts the Spider-Man movies with Sero. Izuku is MJ. They also alternate being Spider-Man sometimes
They skate together
They get very protective when people call their boyfriend “plain”
They play dnd together
Sero tries to make sure that izuku gets some rest
They’re both kinda insecure, izuku more than sero, but still; and they make sure to reassure each other as often as possible
Sero likes listening to Izuku’s ramblings and finds them cute. He has told izuku this, only for the poor boy to imitate a tomato
After Izuku has been particularly reckless, Sero takes advantage of his quirk, wraps Izuku in bubble wrap, and tapes it there
Tokodeku:
Jocknerd bf and goth bf, we love to see it
Tokoyami teaches izuku how to sword fight
They start a dnd club at U.A.
Izuku talks to dark shadow a lot, Dark Shadow approves of him, and has claimed the spot of best man at their wedding
Izuku comes up with ideas to help Tokoyami gain control with Dark Shadow
Dark Shadow is very protective over Izuku, no matter how many times Tokoyami tells him that he can take care of himself, Dark Shadow will put himself between Izuku and any form of danger as often as possible
Dekoyama??? Aoyama/izuku:
Aoyama gives him makeovers, obviously
Aoyama drags izuku to the mall and tries to revamp some of his wardrobe, but he actually finds the “pants” and “flannel” type shirts cute
They help each other train their quirks
Aoyama is trilingual, and teaching izuku English and French.
Izuku always brings Aoyama home some new cheese
Y’all, I love them so much. There needs to be more aodeku content
Monoshinsou:
They have people watching dates. They come up with stories for the people they’re watching; their job, family, background, etc.
They judge people together
They call each other “love”
They’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience
They jokingly sh*t-talk class A
Shinsou said “I love you” first, and it was because Monoma brought him coffee to class
Monoyama:
Like monoshinsou, they’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience
They go shopping together and pick out the most dramatic pieces of clothing for each other
I love them so much, please 😭✋
They have tea parties every week, where they sh*t talk everyone else and gossip
They are both fancy bastards, and they wear the most exquisite outfits to go grocery shopping, and the outshine everyone
They both actually make clothing, they’ll go fabric shopping together. Gift exchanges are often articles of clothing that they’ve made for each other
Momomei:
They work on gear together!!!
Momo makes sure that mei gets some sleep
Mei helps redesign momo’s suit
They often work together with izuku to work in gear and such
They actually got together after izuku introduced them. He had been working on gear with mei, and studying with momo and he thought they’d hit it off. He was correct
Shintsuyu:
Dude they’d be so cute
Tsu is a vent gremlin, and you can’t change my mind. So she and shinsou will play a game where they try to find each other. Tsu is in the vent and shinsou is in the classrooms. Shinsou will try to find whichever vent she’s in, or she’ll find whichever classroom he’s in, in 20 minutes or less
I always headcanoned tsu as a dog person, so they’d have two cats and two dogs, and a bunny that they named Deku
They like comparing their friends to animals, hence the bunny, Deku
Kamideku:
Kaminari is a flirt, and izuku does n o t know how to handle it
Kaminari likes listening to izuku’s ramblings, and can keep up with them. He’ll ask questions on things too, and Izuku has never felt more appreciated
I don’t know why I feel like they’d have so many animals, but I do. They’d have so many, man. Three cats, two dogs, four sugar gliders, a hamster
Adhd power couple. They hyperfixated on complimentary things at the same time one time
Kaminari tutors izuku in English, and izuku turots kami in some other subjects. He’s also teaching kami JSL on the side. Kaminari has a live of languages
Momochako:
Study dates, Momo asks ochako to quiz her a lot
Ochako takes to floating momo’s things when she wants attention. Especially when Momo is studying. She makes a game out of how many things she can float until the other girl notices
Uraraka’s confidence does wonders for momo’s. Uraraka always makes sure to reassure momo that she is strong and that she can do this
Momo makes Uraraka whatever her heart desires. Uraraka blushes all the time, and momo takes great pride in getting her girlfriend to blush
Minatoru:
Mina clings to everyone, but especially to toru
They give each other stuffed animals so often. They’ll go to the store to get food, and come back with three stuffed animals that reminded them of each other
Please, they’re so cute 😭✋
They will play hide and seek, I stand by this.
Mina helps toru design a new costume. I hate hers, it’s horrible, and sexist, and not suitable for a fucking child
Toru says that pink is her favorite color
They flirt with each other all the time. Half the class thinks it’s cute, half of them used to think it was cute.
Iidamomo:
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but study dates. they quiz each other, and it actually gets pretty competitive
They also have rage room dates. I will not budge on this. Iida tried to murder someone, and I am excited to see momo finally snap. She deserves it
They alternate paying for dates, don’t try me.
The go hiking a lot
They started liking each other after one late night, both having nightmares. Momo had tea, and offered some to Iida. They talked until the early hours of the morning
They can’t flirt. They try. But they’re horrible at it. They’ll compliment each other all day long, but they cannot flirt.
KIRIDEKU, MY BELOVED:
Y’all,,, y’all, I love them so much
They train together, obviously
They ran into each other one night in the common room after both having nightmares. They talked about middle school, how they were both bullied, izuku’s quirk coming in late, katsuki being abusive, kiri being bullied because his quirk wasn’t “cool.” After that, they were practically inseparable.
They started going on dates, not that either of them knew they were dates. The entire class knew, so did the teachers, so did the rest of U.A. Kirishima picked up on it first after a comment from Mina, he had is realization.
So, he started courting Izuku. Not thag izuku realized this. He brought him flowers on most ‘dates,’ he bought him hero action figures whenever he could, he complimented him until Izuku was red in the face (which was honestly very easy.) Still, izuku remained ignorant to the fact that he was indeed dating Kirishima.
The final tipping point, was due to Uraraka’s help. She was quite tired of watching the two of them pine for each other. It was amusing for the first couple months, watching Kirishima try so hard, and Deku being totally oblivious. However, she took pity on her friends after a while.
So, Uraraka devised a devilish plan to get the two together. She involved Mina, Sero, and kaminari in this plan. What was the plan, you ask? Oh, simply to trap the two in one room until they broke through izuku’s obliviousness.
Kirishima finally “straight” up admitted his feelings, to which Izuku had the sudden realization of “oh my gods, have we been dating this whole time??” Yes, Izuku. Yes you have.
They have two anniversaries after that.
Let’s be honest, they are really, annoyingly, horrifically lovey dovey. Kirishima brags about having “the manliest and bestest boyfriend in the world.” Izuku flaunts his many PowerPoint presentations on how talented and incredible Kirishima is
Uraraka doesn’t know if she did the right thing by helping them. She is so tired
Tsujirou:
Jirou makes playlists for tsu
The few sane ones in class A, I swear
They go on walks in the rain as often as they can
They go for dates in the bookstore too. They each pick out an album and a book for the other to listen to and read
Y’all, they make so much sense togetherrrrr, I’m love them 🥺
Jirou started liking tsu after the crew saved bakugou. Jirou sat with tsu after momo, Iida, kirishima, Todoroki, and izuku apologized and sat with her. They had movie night, and Jirou joined the Bakugou saving crew and tsu with taking well into the night. She just appreciated how much tsu cared
Tsu started liking Jirou after she helped Iida, momo, and izuku try to keep the class in order. She appreciated how diplomatic and calm she was
Jirou would talk to izuku all night long about how gay she was, and how adorable tsu was. So, izuku decided to try and suggest ways for Jirou to ask her out.
She did not end up getting to ask her out though, as Tsu walked up to her the next morning f and asked if she wanted to go on a date. Jirou said yes. Izuku cried
Izujirou:
They make playlists for each other
They go for runs on the beach a lot
They both have insomnia, and often spend time making blanket forts and talking, or FaceTiming and listening to music
Jirou walks into the common room once a week looking for new music. She started liking Izuku after he made a playlist for her for one of these occasions.
They’re both quite awkward when it comes to romance, but neither of them will shy away from facing the truth. So, Jirou made izuku a playlist filled with love songs that reminded her of him and sent it to him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.
So, then Jirou wrote a love song and told izuku that the song was for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.
So, then Jirou write analysis about izuku’s quirk for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell
So, then, after thinking that Jirou had done so much for him, izuku made her a playlist filled with love songs. Jirou took this to mean that izuku had finally picked up on her feelings, and accepted them.
So, they started to go on dates. Not that izuku knew this, as he is dense as hell. All leading up to izuku finally confessing his feelings on one of their ‘dates,’ to which Jirou responded, “dude, we’re already dating? Aren’t we? I- I thought that was obvious??”
May this awkward couple be forever blessed
Tokoyama:
Goth/prep boyfriends, we love to see it
At least once a day, Aoyama will proclaim that Tokoyami “shines almost as bright as he does, in his fabulous emo way”
They sword fight, and come up with really dramatic scenarios and scenes that they’re in
They bond over being in the izucrew and their shared love of swords. Aoyama took fencing classes in middle school, and Tokoyami got into sword fighting after watching it in pirates of the Caribbean as a young child. He is self taught and watched countless videos on the art of sword fighting
Tokoyami asked Aoyama our by dramatically presenting him with a dagger and going “will you accompany me on a formal outing as my lover?”
Shinyama:
They flirt constantly
No really, it’s getting quite annoying. Someone please stop them.
They both plop down in random areas and proclaim their deaths, the difference between them, is that Aoyama will burst into shinsou’s room, and yell “love, I’ve been murdered. Mourn for me” while plopping down on shinsou’s lap. Shinsou can be found laying face down outside aoyama’s door, and when Aoyama goes to open the door, he just goes “I’ve been murdered.”
^^ one time, shinsou did a very fun Halloween prank for this, where he poured fake blood all over himself for Aoyama to find him an hour later, asleep.
Nap dates. Aoyama get glitter all over shinsou’s room
Iiyama:
Aoyama enjoys making Iida blush, obviously. But he takes joy in doing it specifically when class is about to start. Aizawa is tired of his shit
Here is how I think an iiyama conversation might go:
Aoyama: I ask for one thing in this relationship-
Iida: Aoyama, you know that’s a lie-
Aoyama: for my boyfriend to carry me around all day-
Iida: Aoyama, I cannot feasibly do this with class-
Aoyama: and I don’t think that’s too much to ask for 😤
Anyway, Aoyama got carried around all day that day, despite Iida’s blush and Aizawa’s eye twitch
Everyone in the izucrew is close, but Iida and Aoyama started to get close after Iida told the crew about Stain. Aoyama wanted Iida to know that he wasn’t alone, and that he wanted to help him. So he started packing extra cheese for lunch and giving it to Iida. Iida was very confused at first. But this was Aoyama trying to court him. This was only made apparent by momo and Jirou telling Iida that this was aoyama’s attempt at expressing romantic interest.
Aoyama flirts with everyone, that’s just who he is. But with Iida? Oh it was tenfold. The poor boy was red in the face constantly. Aoyama was a persistent little bugger too, following him around and calling him ‘mon amour’
Kirikamideku:
My dearest traffic light trio, I’m love them
They train together, and kiri and kami always appreciate izuku’s analysis snd ideas
Kiri falls even more in love with izuku and kaminari when they go off on rants. Izuku rants and kami can keep up with him so he asks questions about it. Kiri loves to watch his boyfriends go on rants, I don’t make the rules, but I do enforce them
They started to get closer after kami and kiri found bakugou causing a ptsd flashback (could be on purpose of an accident, up to the reader.) they stated with him and tried to talk him through it. After this, izuku started to tell them about having been a “late bloomer” and being bullied, etc. (I don’t know, man; I tend to over share after flashbacks and after panic attacks)
Izuku tutors them in several subjects, but kami tutors them in English. Kiri just falls in love with his smart boyfriends
Izuku is teaching kami JSL and kami is helping izuku with English and Italian (personal headcanon that Italian has been one of kami’s special interests) kiri loves to listen to them, and finds it relaxing and calming to hear them do this. When he has panic attacks, he’ll ask them to tutor each other in different languages
#shinyama#tsujirou#kirideku#serodeku#kamideku#minatooru#aodeku#shintsuyu#iiyama#momochako#momomei#hatsumomo#iimomo#tokoyama#monoyama#monoshin#bnha rare pair#rare pair#my hero academia#mha headcanons#kirikamideku#izujirou
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Girl of My Dreams: Chapter 3 - Miss Right in her Converse High
Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader / SUGA x Reader
Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Fluff, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Soulmates AU, Age Gap and Drama.
Chapter Warning(s): Cursing. Underage reader in flashbacks (Yoongi is aware). The lyrics are not in order like they are in the song, and the lyrics aren't just Yoongi's parts, they can also reflect Yoongi's thoughts or it just fits with the moment. UNEDITED!
Chapter Legend:
"English words that are said as is and or/ translated from English to Korean"
"Korean words"
>Lyrics<
Word count: 4.8k including lyrics.
A/N: Again, thank you @/doolsetbangtan on twitter for translating the lyrics and explaining every verse and phase of every song by BTS❤️ Please go check out her wordpress blog, she's really cool and her work helped me a lot with writing this series. Grab your tissues... maybe? Also, I let this just flow on it's own... so, confuse hajima? lol Enjoy! Oh btw, it was my first day of work last Friday, so the writing is gonna be a bit slow😅 Sorry, but I'll try my best💜 Next update might be for The Companion, I haven't updated it in almost 3 weeks me finks. Imma stop talking, enjoooyyyy!
Disclaimer: Just a quick reminder that, of course I don't own BTS. And that this story is just an idea of mine, the boys being geniuses they are wrote the songs with a different idea on mind, this is just my wishful thinking on writing lol.
If you want to be added to the taglist of this series, please ask here. or If you want to be part of the permanent taglist and get notified every time I post a new story. And if you want to read more, check out my Park Jimin story!
Don't forget to leave a like, reblog this story and please leave a feedback on what you think about this story :)
Can be read as a stand-alone, but this is part of a series:
< two | masterlist | four >
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Present - 2021
"Namjoon-ah,"
"Yes, hyung?"
"Would you bail me out of jail?"
Namjoon stares at me as if I've lost my mind, he's not wrong. It's been years since I've lost my mind, I just keep growing more and more insane.
"What makes you say that hyung?"
>Converse converse i really hate a converse<
"She still wears those god damned shoes," I grunt as I close the car door too hard making Jungkook who was sitting in the back with Hobi whining and complaining about how I shut the door to hard. Namjoon chuckles as he gently closes the passenger door and walks up next to me, "You've been saying that for years, hyung. Fuck, you even wrote a great track out of it."
"I don't know if she's playing dumb with me or if she's just fucking clueless that it's about her," I huff as I watch her run towards an ice cream truck, "It's literally me telling her to wear something aside from those damn shoes, she'd look in something else,"
>On your gorgeous appearance, black sheer tights and stilettos will be good
Yeah, they’ll be too good to be true
But, what will suit you even better are Jordan numbers
Together with your body, it turns me on even more<
"So you did say in the song," Namjoon agrees "Maybe she thinks its just another song of ours,"
"Namjoon-ah," I sighed exasperated "She's probably the only person we know that wears the abomination like they're slippers," he chuckles "I fucking bought her Fila, Jordan, Louis Vuitton, McQueen, Doc Martens and even damn Christian Louboutin stilettos, but I bet she just put them all on the rack like a collector,"
"I saw her wear the Louboutin's," he comments
"Fucking when?" I asked
"On her 21st birthday," he says
"I don't remember seeing her wearing those," I scrunch my nose at him
"Well," he sighs "You both weren't exactly on best terms that year,"
"Oh," I look down at my shoes burying them further in the sand as I remember the moment where I thought was the end of the two of us. I look back at where Y/n was standing in line with other kids and adults wanting to buy ice cream despite the chilly weather, sensing that I was looking at her, she turns to me and through the mask I could tell she was smiling the way her eyes slightly squinted. She points at the truck as her eyebrows shoot up, almost as if she was asking me if I wanted one, I smile with my mask down on my chin as I shake my head. She raises a thumbs up at me and focuses on the truck again as I pull my mask up to cover my face again and turned to Namjoon.
"Not to bother you, but when do you plan on telling her how you feel?" he asks "I mean it's been what? Eight years? Don't you think it's about time you told her that you love her?"
"Soon," I shot back
"You've said that for years now,"
"Ya! It sounds easy but it's really had to do!" he chuckles "I've been trying to tell her in a very non-subtle way with our songs, but all of a sudden she runs around asking me why I never wrote a song about her,"
"She did what now?!" he asks eye widening.
>“If brushed, it’s meant to be. If soaked into, it’s love,” someone said
But perhaps I’ve already been colored by you<
"Wait what? Did I hear you right, hyung?" Hobi asks as he stands next to Namjoon and I, Jungkook joining us and we watch Jimin and Taehyung take pictures of the sunset. We were back at Santa Monica beach after Days one and two of Permission to Dance on stage in LA, it was a mini-break while other were at school or at work during the weekday, we chose a little time out. Namjoon was planning to stay after the concert ends to travel around and visit museums, I decided to tag along as soon as I was done with producing Girl of My Dreams. And I took advantage of this mini-break of ours to visit the beach and hang out with Y/n before I dove back to work, with not just one song, but also Jungkook's upcoming track 'Stay Alive'.
"She asked me a few days ago why I never wrote a song about her after we had a few drinks," I sighed kicking the sand lightly as I walked "I told her she never asked,"
"Wait," Jungkook stopped walking "She doesn't know? She doesn't know that most of the songs you wrote were about her?"
"Especially your parts?" Namjoon asks again eyes wide as saucers
"Sorry, hyung, but we can help but over hear you," Jimin says as he walks up to us "You weren't exactly quiet," he says in a voice only the six of us could hear, Jin hyung was back at the hotel choosing sleep over the beach. I don't blame him, if Y/n wasn't staring at me with puppy eyes I couldn't resist I'd still be in bed. Maybe drag her with me and use her as a pillow just to smell her watermelon scented shampoo and feel her warmth, with her head on my chest.
"It's been eight years, hyung," Taehyung says as he sits next to me on the log we found "When are you going to tell her that you love her?"
"I don't love her," I reply too quickly and when I look up I find my brothers staring at me like I'm the most ridiculous fool on earth,
"No shit," Namjoon says squinting as he pulls up a hand and starts counting tapping on a finger as he goes, "Embarrassed, DNA, Fake Love. Like you haven't displayed your love for her out in the open by showing jealousy, possessiveness, and basically trying to tell her she's your damn soulmate even destiny is pissed off with how you two are acting like children!"
"Namjoon-ah," Hobi gaffaws at how furious Namjoon looks "You forgot I NEED U and telepathy," Hobi says and Namjoon counts those as well
"Oh! Oh! Don't forget my universe, boy with luv and make it right" Taehyung adds
"The truth untold, pied piper" Jimin adds the two songs to the list and they all stare at each other before they said "Seesaw" in unison before laughing.
"Yeah, no shit, you don't love her," Hobi says as he laughs "You even wrote a song about the shoes she always wears because you hate them so much hoping she would get the hint but she didn't because she thought Namjoon wrote it because of a k-drama," making the other members laugh some more. I rub my hands on my face as I watch her walk towards us. Those shoes change colors as years pass for fuck's sake, they're still the same old school, old fashioned high tops.
>Ha don’t you know yet that converse is a fly in the ointment killing your charm
Anyway, don’t wear converse when you meet me
Rather than the stars in that sky, I’d like to see the stars on your shoes<
"Fucking Converse high." I mutter frustrated, stomping my foot on the sand like a child making the other members laugh some more at my actions.
"What happened to you?" Y/n asks as she reaches us "Who stole your candy?"
"No one stole it," Jungkook says as he takes a deep breath "He dropped it,"
"Now that's just devastating, poor kid" she says as she sits next to me, nudging me with her hip as if telling me to move, standing once again when I didn't move.
"Hey! My spot is warm," I playfully complain, not moving from where I was sitting "Sit elsewhere,"
She stares at me as she eats a scoop of her ice cream from the tiny cup, huffs then shrugs before saying "Fine then," and sitting on my lap making the other members laugh loudly, including the staff that joined with us, causing the few people at the beach stare at us.
When the situation finally registered in my brain I wrap my arms around her almost instinctively and pull her close to my chest and I feel her tense up.
"Why so tense?" I ask her and she turns her head to look at me before pulling my mask down, letting it rest below my chin and shoving a spoonful of mint chocolate ice cream in my mouth
"Get your hands off of me Yoongi Min," she warns playfully
"You're the one who got on my lap, woman!" I talk back at her making the other members laugh at my reaction with the sudden intrusion of the flavor of the ice cream.
"You won't fucking move, man!"
"It's fucking cold, woman!" I complain "I need warmth, I'm freezing"
"That's the reason I wanted your seat! My ass is cold!" we raise our voices at each other playfully and the boys watch us like a ping pong match.
"Ah shibal ya!" I exclaim "I'd rather warm your ass with my bare hands than move from my spot!" I yell in satoori as I look at the other members who fall into another round of laughter ringing in the air. I scowl when I see Hobi point his Polaroid camera at us taking a picture of Y/n on my lap smiling like a champion and me looking like I lost the lottery and gone bankrupt.
"You two are crazy," he comments chuckling "Y/n-ssi, you're cold but you're eating ice cream,"
"It's delicious, minty choco~" she says in a small voice, I would've cooed at her cuteness if only Joon didn't start making retching sounds. She eventually relaxes in my arms and gently rests her head on my left shoulder, sitting with both her legs on one side as she ate happily.
She stays like that on my lap for a few more minutes before the other members suggest we leave the beach and head to a Korean grocery to get some familiar food - mostly ramen, before heading back to the hotel. I was at the wine aisle when Y/n walked up to me with a lot of and different bags of flavored seeweed chips. My eyes instantly fall on her converse that she wore for the day and before I could even stop myself, I ended up opening my mouth and the tactless question was asked.
"Why do you wear those fucking things?"
"Huh? What?" she asks "Which one?"
"Converse high," I say nodding my head in her direction "I guess it would be fine to see you wearing the low ones or maybe sneakers with a cute dress on but why the fuck do you wear those high tops all the damn time?"
"Jeez," she says as she slowly places the snacks on the cart "Calm down with the cursing, Yoongi,"
"I'm just asking," I raise my hands as if the surrender "Curiosity,"
"Why the negative feedback on my babies?" she asks pouting "I love my converse,"
"Where are the shoes I bought you?" I ask pouting "the basketball ones, they're high tops too and much more comfortable than those. Why aren't you wearing those?"
"They're back home," she walks to stand beside me looping her arms around mine as I slowly push the cart.
"Why not wear those?" I slightly raise my voice defensively "You look better wearing those than the... usual,"
"But these are my favorite!" she pouts and I pout back at her
"But you said you liked the ones I got you and you said you'd wear them more!" she shuts up and stares at my eyes before sighing and gently rests her head on my once-very-injured-and-untreated-for-years-shoulder.
>I like you, but still, don’t wear converse low<
"I'm sorry, Sugs," she looks up at me with round puppy like eyes "I didn't mean to offend you," she wraps her arms around me and I wrap my left arm around her shoulder, my thumb lazily rubbing her shoulder blade.
"I'll wear them more," she says nuzzling her face on my neck "But why do you hate my Converse so much?" she asks in a small voice
"Promise me you won't be weirded out and that you'd still consider wearing something else that's not... those," I point at her shoes
"I promise," she says hugging me tighter "I promise,"
>More than anything, it’s hard to take them off<
I took a deep breath before saying in a low voice, "You don't look good. I hate them. You look hotter if not sexier in other sneakers or even more in heels. Those things don't do anything with your look, it makes me want to throw em out. they do nothing for your sexy figure,"
She stares at me as I spoke, then she walks out of my arms running away like she was up to no good; looking like a T-rex.
"Oppa!" she calls out "Yoongi is being weird again!"
"Ya!" I call after her as I push the cart and follow her
"Oppa!" she walks behind Namjoon and Hobi, holding the back of their hoodies as she explained what I told her to Joon.
"Why did you run?!" I ask her "You promised!"
"I didn't promise I won't run, Yoongi!"
"But you promised you wouldn't be weirded out!" I exclaimed
"Friends don't call each other sexy or hot, especially not guys to girls,"
"Hey!!! That's where you're wrong, baby," I squint "We're close friends! Close friends! Best friends, baby!" I yell, thrusting my arms in the air with crazy motions along with the words I say.
From the other aisle I hear Jungkook and Jimin's laugh mingle with Taehyung, Hobi and Namjoon's voices and the sound of Y/n's palm hitting her forehead.
>Your converse high
I really really want yo
I really really like yo
I really really need yo<
__~~~~___~~~___
"Ever noticed that your rap in Miss Right fits what you want with Y/n?, Yoongi-ya?" Jin asks me as he sat next to me at the hotel's restaurant for breakfast. The other members already sat down and were eating breakfast, I was just waiting for Y/n who was making her way around the food warmers. The hotel's restaurant was closed down with breakfast being delivered to guests rooms, but the management was kind enough to let us and the staff enjoy our meal here along with other businessmen and businesswomen who looked too serious to even notice us.
"Why are you asking all of a sudden, hyung?" I ask as I keep an eye on Y/n .
"I was listening to our old songs last night when i came across Miss Right and heard your rap," Namjoon looks up from his plate to Jin as if he grew another pair of heads like a hydra.
"Oh shit!" he exclaims "He's right! Damn! You two really are soulmates!"
"Keep your voice down, Namjoon-ah!" Jin quietly scolds him and he quickly apologizes before shoving food in his mouth to shut up.
"Soulmates," Jin repeats shaking his head "Armys would be happy to know that Min Yoongi's soulmate has been his muse for years now.
"You mentioned to the others you're gonna tell her soon about the songs and the truth? How?" he asks as I watch her make her way towards the waffle table in her shorts, white t-shirt and those fucking shoes and her dark blue hair down. I throw my head back and internally groaned closing my eyes to avoid the sight of her legs that seemed to go on and on... then you see those abominations that ruin her look.
>Yeah, denim shorts, white t-shirt, and converse high
That makes me wanna party on your body
At the ends of your silky smooth hair, your refreshing hip is singing
A forest-like you shine inside the city, embracing my reality with your unrealistic body
And I want you to be really really real for me<
"The exact same way I've been trying to tell her I love her, but hopefully this time she finally gets it."
"And what if, she doesn't get it?" Namjoon asks me.
>If I lose you, it’s a miss, right? Miss Right? (All Right)
You’re my Miss Right, Miss Right<
"Then I have to find another way, I guess" I shrug making Jin shake his head in disappointment.
"Yoongi-ya!" he groans "It's been almost a decade! When are you going to do it? When are you going to tell her that you love her?! When you're 40?!"
Behind us where Hobi, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook were sitting Hobi snorts loudly followed by heavy coughing and Jungkook tapping his back.
"You don't find a woman like her every day, hyung," Jungkook says from the seat behind me "You're lucky that she's still around and single. If you don't do something about it you're gonna end up waiting until you're both old and gray, or worse, she's married to someone else."
"It's not to pressure you hyung," Jimin says calmly "It's just a little confidence boost. We know you love her and that you two are obviously meant to be together."
"As a believer in destiny, I believe in the fact that she's it for you" Namjoon says as he drinks his coffee "If she wasn't meant for you, she would still be with that scum bag and she would've stopped being friends with you. Destiny returned her to you when it knew you were ready to be with her. All you had to do was take your steps, unfortunately you only made a few baby steps and didn't take the big step. Or as they call it, leap of faith".
"Don't wait for her to slip away from your fingers, Yoongi," Jin says with a tone of finality "She's right in front of you every day, she learned a new language and culture just to be friends with you,"
"She also moved counties, left a guy and chose your friendship over the asshat," Taehyung points out "If that doesn't
"Leap of faith," Hobi happily says from behind me as I watch her walk towards our table, her plate piled up with different kinds of food. Mainly protein and carbs.
>It must be because you’re different from normal types out there that a woman like you are called the ideal type
You’re like a completed puzzle of my ideal type <
"Buffets fear you, Y/n-ssi" Namjoon says when she sits down beside him.
"It's breakfast, Joonie," she says as she shoves a spoonful of omelette and bacon bits into her mouth followed by a baked potato wedge then continues with her mouth full, "Most important meal of the day!"
"Ya! Manners. Chew your food before you start talking you big baby" I lightly scold her
"Ya!~ Manners.~ Be a gentleman and get me a cup of coffee~ " she shot back adorably with a sting when swallowed her food when she saw me get up eyeing the coffee machine. I hear the other members snort laugh and chuckle as they try to control themselves from laughing too loud at 8am. She was the only woman who had the audacity to not use honorifics with me and I let it pass because I love her, she isn't exactly Korean. But moments like this where she'd act cute but lace it with venom sometimes make me wonder what planet she came from or how in the world did I end up falling in love with a woman who was not only quite similar to me with a combination of all the members various traits, but someone you'd only see in movies or read in books who have such confidence that makes you want to kiss the living shit out of them. And even though that confidence was mostly just around the seven of us and a few of the staff who have been with us for so long, I still loved the little outbursts.
What was only embarrassing about the way she caught me off guard, was I had no comeback so I just stared at her for a minute before shaking my head, making sure she heard me I muttered "You're gonna pay for that, baby" as I went and grabbed two cups of coffee for the two of us, only to be rewarded by a flying kiss and a thank you, with a chuckling Jin. I did say she absorbed a few traits of the other members, didn't I?
>That person who I thought would exist only exist in novels is you
Even I who used to believe that there’s no god was made to believe in god
To me, the goddess is you
That person who I thought would only exist in movies
Oh god, a wind that is led by the weather called you
You’re a flower, and I’m a bee, only going towards you all the time<
"I'm bored" she complains as we sit in the gazebo we found at the park. It wasn't too far from the hotel and the concert venue, but it was far enough to get some peace from the buzz of the staff and the others. I wanted to go alone but I needed inspiration, so I dragged Y/n along with me. She was reading a historical romance novel about an Old Hollywood star and her seven husbands that she said was rumoured to be adapted into a movie some time next year or later.
>Yes you’re my only girl you’re the best to me
I want to know your day, I want to be your sigh
That person who I thought would only exist in movies
Even the weather is perfect, it feels like I’m perfect with you<
"You're reading a book, you can't be that bored," I smiled at her through my face mask "You didn't even spare a glance in my direction the second opened that book and kept reading. Now that you're done with eleven pages, you're telling me you're bored? How?"
She stares at me for a second before sitting up, placing a bookmark before she places the book in between us on the table, "Were you watching me the whole time?"
"Jagiya, how can I not? I'm writing a song and you're in front of me. Naturally, my attention was else where because of my ADHD. You caught my eye, Jagiya..." I muttered the last part
"Did you just call me 'Jagiya'?!" she exclaimed, eyes wide. a new reaction compared to the countless times I playfully called her that, even a far off reaction to almost two weeks ago when I asked her to join us for the tour.
"W-what? N-no," I stuttered "You're hearing things," she squints her eyes at me
"I know what I heard, Yoongi"
"Your ears?" I say as I point at my own "Broken. Your ears are broken.
"And you're gonna be broken if you say it again," she laid back down, book on hand.
"What's wrong if I did call you Jagiya?" I ask as I tread on dangerous waters "Are you dating someone?"
She puts her book down and sits once more "No, I'm not. But, I just think we shouldn't joke around with the endearments anymore, Sugs. What if someone recognizes you and hears us? They might think we're dating and I don't like to put that idea in their heads-"
"What's wrong with us and dating?" I cut her off defensively "Don't you think it's... cool if we, who have been friends for eight years, end up dating?"
"Yoongi, it's just think it's wrong-"
"And I just want to know why you'd think that way?" I slightly raise my voice out of frustration, tossing the notepad that was once on my lap onto the table, "We've been calling each other endearments since 2015! We've been like this since 2015! What's wrong about it now?"
"Yoongi, calm down-"
"I can't calm down when you're saying stuff like that to me!" I naturally slip into satoori during my outburst and it didn't stop there.
"Calm down, Yoongi!" she firmly says "You're being irrational, calm down! All I'm trying to say is that I don't want you to be in trouble for being with someone like me. If they assume we're dating, it's not going to look good for your image,"
"Fuck my image, Y/n-ssi!" I spat out "You say shit like that and I feel like we're back to square one all over again. It's like the Love Yourself tour all over again. For fuck's sake, just tell me if you want me gone because you're seeing someone who yet again wants you away from me" I slip back and forth between the Seoul dialect and Daegu dialect.
"Yoongi, that's not it" she says "I'm not seeing anyone, you're the only one I'm always with"
"Fuck that shit," I scoff "this is exactly what you said to me before the fucking scum bag told me to cut ties with you!"
"Wait what?" she asks
"You fucking heard me!" I got up and grabbed my notepad, song writing long forgotten "The son of a bitch told me that you said you didn't want me around anymore and told me to fuck off. I didn't believe a single shit he said until I saw you run to his arms like some sort of fairy tale happy ending." I stepped out of the gazebo and looked back at her "You looked like you met your fucking prince charming and I looked like the villain when all I was an NPC in a game; programmed to say back, shut up and watch as you walked away from me, and I was left to wonder if I was ever going to see you again when you left with him without even saying goodbye."
I sighed heavily, rubbing my hand over my forehead, "Do you think it was easy to lose someone so close to you? I felt dead inside, Y/n! You, the members, you're all I have. I miss my family back home but you're more prominent than home. He fucking told me to cut ties with you, told me that you hated- no fuck that, he said you loathed me, because I was being weird and clingy all those years and he told me that you asked him to say with him for the night so that I'd stay away from you, and I believed him when I saw you smile at him and kissed him" I raised my hands up as if to motion around me "How do you think my world was huh? Watching you go out of town with him, spend time together like it was a fucking honeymoon, leaving without a trace only to apologize saying you're already back home in your country. What the fuck am I to you, Y/n?!" I ask with tears in my eyes
"Yoongi, I didn't kn-" she tried to say but I cut her off again.
"You what? Don't bother answering. I already know I'm just a friend to you. It's okay." I scoff as I walk away to one of the two cars that went with us to the park. By the time I reached the hotel lobby, I don't even know how our conversation ended up there, but I didn't care. It was all out there now. Now she knew why for two years I avoided her. Those years I did nothing but write about love, pain and heartbreak. Her. It was all about her and for her. And it was for me; younger Min Yoongi who wanted so bad to tell Y/n L/n how he would leave everything behind if he could and all she had to do was say the word.
"Make sure she gets back safe, and join her if she needs to go somewhere," I inform security to inform the other staff "Keep an eye on her please, make sure she's okay and that she doesn't go anywhere alone, I just need sometime alone, I can't see her when I'm like this" our head of security nods as he presses on his ear piece to transmit the message.
"What happened?" Jin and Namjoon asks as they catch what I told our security to do "Where's Y/n? I thought you took her with you?"
"Do you remember what I told you during the Love Yourself Tour about... him?" I ask Namjoon quietly and he nods
"Yeah, why?" he asks
"I told her about it, minus that I've been in love with her for.. a while now." I sighed "I need sometime alone. I'll see you guys later," I wave at them as I walk to the elevator and made my way back to my room, half relieved that a good weight off of my shoulders has been lifted, half mixed emotions of regretting my actions and concern that if I didn't lose her then, I might have led myself into losing her by my own actions.
>I don’t care because I love you
Rather than holding a designer bag, you hold my hand, and rather than getting jealous and envious, you understand my inner character,
I picture our future with you who’s like that
A pair of kids’ sneakers between our matching shoes<
All I wanted was her. And now I've made my situation worse, the thought that I kept asking myself as I went back in my hotel room and got ready for an early bedtime was how do I undo my actions from earlier at the park. No doubt she's probably understood by now how I feel about her, but it was the right thing to do... right?
I mean, she was supposed to be my soulmate. She is my soulmate...
...right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< two | masterlist | four >
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#bts#suga#min yoongi#min yoongi x you#min yoongi x reader#bts x you#bts x reader#bts x y/n#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jimin#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#rm#v#jhope#idol au#soulmate au
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Can I request some poly! Shigadabihawks x reader if you don’t mind. You have amazing writing and you have written some amazing poly! I don’t care if it’s sfw and/or nsfw, it’s totally up to you. I honestly kinda wanted to see how hawks and Shigaraki got along in a poly relationship and how they interacted with each other because I can imagine how Dabi and hawks get along or dabi and shigaraki but hawks and Shigaraki would have a odd relationship, y’know. Sorry if this is odd and you don’t know what I’m talking about and I just want you to know that I absolutely love your work. You’re the first person I check everyday when I get on tumblr. 😘
Awwwww!!! You are so sweet, thank you so much!!! Yeah this makes a lot of sense, for the demon au especially I’ve been trying to work on showing off the dynamic between Hawks and Shig. I hope headcanons are okay!
| SFW
- Before you enter the mix, Dabi is really the only holding them together. He started off dating Tomura (who still insists he barely even likes him, usually after they finish making out) and then later Kei joined in. You’re still not sure how it all came to be since you get a different answer depending on who you ask and what mood they’re in.
- Tomura is only a bit tsundere with Dabi and Kei, never you. With you he’s more openly clingy and would never deny how he feels. He wouldn’t say it, but he appreciates you being around whenever Dabi and Keigo make him feel like a third wheel. Keigo has some similar experiences, but he’s just genuinely not bothered whenever Dabi wants to go have some solo time with Tomura. Or you, for that matter. Just isn’t the jealous type.
- They like using you to fuck with each other. If you’re hanging out with Dabi there’s a good chance Keigo will come along and just flat out steal you. Just pick you up and walk off. Because he can. Dabi is fond of teasing Tomura about how much he likes you, despite clearly also liking you. Tomura’s go-to is usually also to steal you, however he likes to get you to come willingly so you’ll blow off whoever you were with to start.
- Keigo and Tomura get along best when teaming up to irritate Dabi. Whether it’s playing keep away with you, hiding his stuff, distracting him when he’s trying to brood and do Dabi stuff, they really enjoy the power of their combined effects on him.
- The three of them teaming up to irritate you is what really gets them cooperating. They’re all gremlins, they steal your clothes to force you into skirts with no panties, they move your stuff around so you have to ask them for help, and that’s without getting into how often they fight over you, although that’s not so much to annoy you.
- Dabi developed a little habit of calling you, Tomura, and Kei his sluts and now he does it no matter who’s around and it’s really embarrassing but he absolutely does not care.
- While most of the time it’s Dabi and you holding Tomura and Keigo together, it’s not uncommon to find just the two of them off by themselves bonding over a common interest or even occasionally making out.
- They each have their own rooms, but you don’t. You bounce between theirs and your stuff is always scattered around. Yes, it’s annoying. No, they won’t let you have your own room. The four of you typically end up sharing one bed anyway, although the room itself changes.
- They’re not shy about the relationship, so it’s fairly often you get teased (albeit lovingly) about having three boyfriends. Toga really likes trying to force you to pick a favorite.
- Everyone thinks it’s creepy. Everyone. But Kei started calling you their “little girl” and just never stopped.
- They don’t really do PDA between themselves aside from the odd hand holding or rare peck on the cheek, but when it comes to you all bets are off. You’re constantly perched in someone’s lap or holding a hand or having your clothes fixed by someone else. To everyone else it mostly looks like they toss you around.
- Sometimes they’ll take you on dates, switching between doing them one on one or with the whole group. It’s hard to get Tomura to go out, though, since he prefers stay at home dates. When he’s not feeling it you’ll usually end up in a blanket fort eating takeout all together.
- One time. one. time. some stranger muttered “slut” under his breath when he saw you walking along in public with them. Dabi charred his ass so fast the other two were pissed at him for not being able to get a hit in.
- Despite all of them being gremlins, they really love you and will 10/10 go out of their way to make sure you know that. Literally anything upsets you and the immediate response is “Tell me why you’re not happy and I will kill it.”
- Most of their more genuine affections are shown in little things they do. Keigo likes to get you guys things, especially snacks he knows you like since he can go in public freely. Dabi is constantly fixing your clothes and hair and making sure everyone’s comfortable. Tomura always touches you softly (outside of the bedroom), always brushing his fingers along your cheeks or resting his head on your shoulder, etc. He’s also the most likely to casually touch the others in public.
- When it’s cold everyone piles up on Dabi and he pretends he hates it, but you always catch him smiling when he thinks no one’s looking.
- Kei loves using his feathers to tease everyone, slipping them under clothes before you can stop them or making them flit around your face. It’s annoying but his laugh is so cute you can’t even be mad at him.
- Tomura’s face always lights up before he can stop it when one of you comes to play videogames with him. He’s really bad at hiding how excited and happy it makes him.
- Since you’re the only girl and they’re kind of sexist, they treat you a lot softer than they treat each other. Doesn’t matter how strong you are, they’ll always think you’re weaker and they need to protect you. It might not seem like it when they’re teasing the hell out of you or tying you up or spanking you, but they go way easier on you than they would on each other in the same situation.
- Literally any sign from you that you’re seriously upset or overwhelmed? Done. No more. Only soft affection and very mild teasing for the week.
| NSFW
- The first time Kei joined in while Dabi and Tomura were fucking, he didn’t even participate. He just watched like a fucking creep. Still does that occasionally.
- They all have relatively high drives and absolutely no shame between each other, so it’s pretty often you’re just casually getting fucked in one of their rooms while another sits on the couch beside you and watches TV. May or may not comment on it.
- Sometimes they’ll make bets about you. See who can get you to cum the fastest one week or try testing how long it takes for you to come to them when they don’t initiate it and which one you pick. How much cum they can stuff you with and plug up before it starts leaking out. And so on.
- It’s very different if it’s just one of them, or if it’s two and which two, etc.
- Dabi likes to manhandle you. He takes his time, makes you wait and beg and then just completely destroys you for hours on end. After, he sits back with a cigarette and lets you cling to him while he strokes you and tells you you did a good job. It pleases him when you’re so fucked out you can’t form full sentences, and he’ll tease you for it for days.
- Keigo is similar in that he likes to tease, but he’s also sadistic. He’ll make you cum on his tongue and fingers until you’re begging him to stop and then he’ll force at least two more orgasms out of you on his dick. Afterwards he watches you twitch and leak his spunk for a minute before giving you god-tier aftercare. Runs a bath, gets you some water, etc. Once you’re clean he encourages you to take a nap, but it’s usually an excuse for him to take a nap because he’s also worn out but trying to hide it.
- Tomura gets too excited to tease for very long, but that’s only directly before the sex. He’ll have his hand shoved in your panties just toying with you for hours while he absently scrolls on his phone. Sometimes he’ll have you get yourself ready where he can see, only to completely ignore you until you let him know he can start. Once he’s going, though, he’s done with all that. He’s drooling, panting, flushed, pounding you into next week. He alternates between kissing you and spitting in your mouth because he’s too wound up to just pick a mood most of the time.
- That’s not to say you don’t have lots of times where it’s intimate and loving, but that’s not really the usual.
- The Dabi/Tomura combination is the more nasty of the three. Kei isn’t opposed to doing stuff to make you squirm when he’s in the mood but Dabi and Tomura l i v e for that shit. They’re almost nightmarish together, 100% okay with piss, impact play, period stuff, all things anal, etc. Of course you’re their girlfriend and they love you so they’re not about to do something that has you screaming or crying for real, but if you’re at least mostly okay with it and they’re confident it’s not breaking you, they’ll do pretty much anything. Anything to get you teary-eyed, begging them to stop, etc. as long as you’re not saying the safeword. For aftercare they’re very gentle and soft as they clean you up and put you to bed. Doesn’t matter what time of day it happened, they’re putting you in bed and snuggling you until you get at least an hour of sleep. When you wake up they’ll get you something to eat and make sure they didn’t hurt you beyond the usual cuts, bruises, and assorted mild scorching.
- Dabi and Kei usually go for more of a good cop/bad cop sort of arrangement. Doesn’t seem so bad until you figure out they switch the roles without any indication of having done that. It’s like they have a sixth sense for it or something. You’ll be crying and clinging to Keigo since he’s been nice so far only for him to bend you over his knee and spank you raw for it; meanwhile Dabi has gone from smacking you around and spewing filth to cooing and stroking your face. Their aftercare is mostly praise, they’ll tell you you did well and make sure you’re okay mentally since some of the stuff they say can get pretty intense. They’ll get you cleaned up and make sure you eat and drink water, and they’ll cuddle as long as you want and won’t go anywhere even if you fall asleep.
- Tomura and Keigo are the most interesting mix. It’s not often that it happens, but when it does they work surprisingly well together. Their different types of degeneracy and patience seem to blur together into a lethal combination that’ll have you getting whiplash from how they toss you back and forth. They’re not usually both participating at the same time; someone has to hold the camera, after all. Aftercare usually consists of a shower, snacks, and either you napping on their laps while they game together or joining in if they didn’t rock your shit too hard. On days when they’ve done this, you’ll notice the two of them interacting more and occasionally taking some time to be alone together…
- When it’s all of them you’re fucking in for it. Depending on the mood it can vary wildly, but for the most part it’s just a complete mass of writhing limbs and moans. You’re tired ten minutes in, more of the focus is on you than anything, you’re forced to cum over and over again, they each cum in or on you at least twice, and when it’s all said and done you’re covered in sweat, cum, possibly blood, and three sweaty, spent bodies. Usually after they have to peel your limp, half-conscious body off the bed and carry you to the bath. They’ll take great care of you, not that you’ll really remember it in your sorry state, and when you wake up the next day they’re more doting than usual. They’ll tease a little about how you’re sore and still just a little out of it, but that doesn’t mean they’re not checking on you and being extra attentive.
- The times when it’s all of you together but in a more romantic way, it’s like being surrounded by pure love. Everyone’s kissing, you’re all tangled together, it’s just really soft and intimate. Doesn’t last as long, but it’s insanely sweet and gooey. When finished, there’s lots of soft caring/cleaning up/cuddling for a while but it doesn’t have the same insane recovery time as usual. After everyone’s taken care of, the guys like to try pretending everything is normal, but it’s obvious they’re more clingy than usual. Definitely all sleeping together in a pile on nights like that.
- Sometimes one will join in just for aftercare. Kei enjoys seeing you a fucked-out little mess, so he’s always happy to help if it means he can see you destroyed for a minute first. Dabi likes the feeling of being needed and being able to care for someone, so he’ll help, especially cleaning you up and getting you dressed. Tomura loves the way you cling after, and likes to cuddle and nap, so he’ll come in late to the aftercare just for that.
#shigaraki x reader#hawks x reader#dabi x reader#shigadabi#dabihawks#shigahawks#shigadabihawks#shigadabihawks x reader#shigadabihawks smut#poly shigadabi#poly dabihawks#poly shigahawks#dabihawks x reader#shigadabi x reader#shigahawks x reader#poly shigadabihawks#shigaraki#hawks#keigo takami#dabi
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Hi! I love your blog! So hard to find a non con writers! Ignore the haters, just keep doing what you love! You’re not alone!
So happy to see your request open! I’d like to request a NON CON where Mafia JK fell in love at first sight with innocent reader and bought her in an auction. He is obsessed with her so he marries her and deflowered her, stuffing his thick manhood in her and. JK has a bloodplay kink. He wouldn’t stop fucking her until she passed out everyday. Milking her dry from orgasms. Thank you 💜
-> Thank you for the reassurance❣️
⚠️: BLOOD PLAY, NON CON, human trafficking, virgin reader, physical, mental & emotional abuse, little/innocent!reader, ddlg-ish, manipulation
“Get the hell up, you have to get ready.”
The man kicked you in your stomach and grabbed your arm, pulling you upstairs to the bathroom
“Wear this dress and fix up your face.”
He left the bathroom and you quickly jumped into the shower
Today was the “big day”
You were being auctioned off
Obviously, you were terrified and nervous
However, your current “owners” said that if someone doesn’t buy you today, they’ll make your life a living hell
They were hungry for money and if no one wanted you, you would’ve been a big waste of their money, time and energy
Well, not really — they just needed to blame someone for their lack of success
Plus, you’re the first person that they’re selling
They kidnapped you when you were walking home from the train station
You didn’t have much family nor friends which kinda made you the perfect target
You cooperated with your two “owners” because you didn’t want to get hurt
Yet, it still happened anyways
They’d often kick you, or slap you, or pull your hair
Nevertheless, you didn’t complain because you wanted to stay out of trouble
When you finished getting ready, your “owners” tied your arms and legs together and threw you into the trunk
The auction event was big
You could tell that you this event had plenty of rich and powerful people just by looking at all the cars
Your owners took you inside through the back door and told you to fix your hair
Once you did, they dragged you behind the stage and made you wait there for nearly 3 hours
There were other girls lined up in front and behind you, half looking terrified and half looking excited
In those three hours you overheard some girls talking about a certain man they wished to be bought by
Those were the girls who were “excited”
They were talking about how they went “all out” to impress him
You tend to not judge people but, you couldn’t help yourself
Who the fuck wants to be sold to anyone?
You couldn’t wrap your head around their thought process
They were practically gushing about this mafia guy who was supposedly young and handsome
Even if he was, why the hell would you want to be someone else’s property?
You muted their voices so you didn’t have to hear their nonsense and soon enough the auction started
One by one, girls and boys went up on stage and the bidding started
You were surprised because some of those girls got sold for only a couple hundred bucks
When it was your turn, your owners basically dragged you on stage and held you wrist as tight as they could so you couldn’t run
“A young, ripe, virgin finishing up university. Starting bid, $50,000.”
One by one, people raised their auction paddles and offered more for you
Your owners went wide eyed after the bids started increasing by $10,000
You eventually passed 1 million and were near 2 million
Random old men were raising their paddles higher and higher, determined to buy you
Eventually one of them had enough and said “5 million dollars!”
The room went silent and your owners were about to say “sold!” when someone interrupted and said “10 million dollars”
Even your mouth dropped
10 million?!
The man stood up and walked closer to the stage
Your two owners recognized him and started bowing multiple times
“S-She’s all yours, Mr. Jeon! Thank you so much. Please take her.”
This was the first time you saw the two males scared and nervous
And it kinda frightened you
It took a lot to scare those two but, this guy did it effortlessly
So, what in the world would happen to you?
You got dragged off stage again and the auction continued
You were dragged into a private room where the man who had just bought you gave the two men 10 million in cash
7 brief cases stacked on top of each other, full of hundreds
The two males happily accepted and let you go with the man
He didn’t want to stick around for the event so, he pulled you out of the building and pushed you into the car
“Anders, drive us home.”
The car ride was silent in the beginning
You’re eyes were glued on the window and his were glued on his phone
About an hour later, you fell asleep against the window and he noticed
He slapped you across the face and pulled you’re body away from the door
“What’re you sleeping for? You did absolutely nothing today. Do you think you’re some kind of princess? Do you think can sleep wherever you want whenever you want? Keep your eyes open. If I catch you sleeping again, I’ll make you regret it.”
Tears gathered in your eyes and you couldn’t hold it in
You started to sniffle, making Jungkook look over at you
“Shut up! If I hear you cry, I’ll force you to walk all the way home, barefoot”
You covered your mouth with your hand and lowered your head
After taking a moment to breathe normally, you apologized
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
Jungkook raised his eyebrows
“How do you know my last name?”
“I heard my owners call you by that na-”
Another smack on your cheek, this time a little harder
“How dare you call them your owners?!”
Your eyes held so much terror, and it was a turn on for Jungkook
That was the moment he realized how much control he had over you
You were so naive and innocent, it made him want to ruin you
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon! I didn’t realize! It was an honest mistake.”
“Just wait until we get home” he muttered under his breath but you were able to make it out
You were terrified and rightfully so
Once you got home, Jungkook didn’t have any mercy on you
You were running from him, not knowing where you were going
You ran upstairs into a large bedroom and locked the door
“Please, don’t hurt me!” You cried, clutching onto the top of your dress that he ripped apart
You thought he was on the other side of the door, calming down but the closet door busted open and there he was
You tried to open the room door but he was faster and pulled you back onto the bed
“Already causing so much trouble for me, little one.”
He hovered over you
“I’m sorry. I’m scared. Please, don’t kill me.”
You started to cry under him
You looked so precious, begging for your life
He couldn’t resist
He took off his suit and ripped your dress open
Underneath, you were wearing a red and black lace lingerie
He let out a low growl before attacking your neck and marking you all over
“Wait! Sir! Please! Mr- agh! Mr- Mr. Jeon! No! I’ll give you money! Please! I can give you all the money in my bank account if you just let me go! $59,000 is all I have! I can-”
Jungkook started to chuckle against your neck
“59,000 dollars? That’s all? You expect me to set you free after you give me 59,000 dollars?”
He laughed right in your face which broke your heart
It was your hard earned money
You hated to see someone discredit your hard work just like that
You frowned and got tearful
“It’s all the money I have.”
You said in a quavering voice
Jungkook looked at you
You were dead serious
“I bought you for 10 million dollars and you want me to set you free for $59,000. Anyone with a brain would deny that offer.”
He slapped you again and continued on
Jungkook sucked your neck, breast and chest; leaving dark, purple marks all over
“Wait! Mr. Jeon, I-I’m actually waiting till m-marriage.”
“That doesn’t matter, anymore. You’ll be getting married to me, anyways.”
“No! Please!”
Jungkook pulled down your underwear and rubbed two fingers up your slit, making you shiver
“So pretty. I can’t wait anymore.”
He pulled out his thick shaft and you started to panic
“No! No, no, please! I don’t want this! I don’t want to do this, please!”
He spat on your opening for some lub and pushed his whole length in harshly
You groaned in pain when he did but couldn’t fight back
Your hands were against his chest but, pushing him off wasn’t easy
He started thrusting inside of you at a cruel speed, causing you gasp really loudly before wailing
“Hey! Stop! Please! It hurts!”
Jungkook pinned your wrist next to your head and fucked you deeply
After hours of fucking, cum and blood covered his cock and the bedsheet
He smeared the blood and cum mix all over your body
“Look at you, covered in your virgin blood mixed with my cum. You look so pretty.”
You were mumbling incoherent words, unable to think straight
He forced three orgasms out of you, of course you weren’t able to think straight
Sweat covered your forehead and your tight hole was leaking cum and blood
He pushed in one more time and began fucking you hard
You were squealing under him, telling him to stop yet he slapped your ass and grabbed your throat
“Your cunt seems to love my cock. That’s why you’re cumming so much around me. So stop telling me that it hurts because I know it’s a lie.”
One more deep push and you both came together
He laid down next to you and pulled you onto his chest
“Next week, you’ll officially be mine.”
You weren’t listening
Because you were passed out
It was your first time and he had made you cum at least 17 times
It would be surprising if you didn’t pass out
Jungkook didn’t lie when he said that you’ll be his in the next week
He made one phone call and whoever was on the end of the line planned a huge wedding in a week
You woke up one day and were forced into a white gown
Once you put the pieces together, you had a panic attack
You were getting married to this man you’ve only known for a week
You were being so uncooperative to the point where Jungkook had to come to you and set you straight
He quickly fucked you back into submission and made you get ready for your wedding
After your wedding, loads of fucking
You guys didn’t even show up to your reception party because Jungkook could not stop fucking you
And it continued like this for a very long time
You weren’t sure how you were still producing cum
Every morning, every night, sometimes in the middle of the day, he wants to have sex
It’s not like he’s slow or gentle either— he’s aggressive in bed, it’s tough to handle him
You usually end up passing out and even that doesn’t stop him
The next morning you wake up tired and sore however, he wakes up needy and wanting more
Sometimes he’ll fuck you hard enough to make you pass out right in the morning
Even when he comes back from a mission, he still has the energy to fuck you
You just don’t understand
For weeks, you can’t walk straight because of him
And it hurts to put any sort of pressure on your lower abdomen
Despite all of that, you still love him
After all the manipulation and brain washing he’s done to you, he’s convinced you that you’re in love with him
And that you won’t survive without him
You’ve been craving for love and attention for your whole life and Jungkook was finally giving some
Why would you want the person who makes you feel loved and appreciated gone from your life?
Jungkook used guilt tripping to make you stay with him
Not to mention, taking advantage of your toxic past
Stockholm syndrome ending for the win 🥇
Sorry for any mistakes!! Have a good day<3
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favorite crime
w/c: 1.6k
warnings: swearing, mentions of blood / death, lots n lots of angst
summary: you convince peter to go on the run after he’s framed for murdering mysterio, but he doesn’t want to drag you into his mess
a/n: this was completely based off the song by olivia lfmbsjfhs it’s so beautiful and i’ve wanted to write something for it for a while now so yee i hope y’all like ! pls lmk what you think <3
-
“we have to get you out of here, peter! come on!” you shout back to your boyfriend and tug his hand that’s laced with yours.
peter doesn’t budge. even when your grip on him tightens, when you pull him forward with all your might, he remains stoic.
there’s something he needs to do, and he’s been contemplating it since the day he met you.
it’s time to let you go.
“please, peter. i’m begging. i know you’re tired of running, but if we don’t leave now… they’ll find you,” you desperately choke out. peter squeezes his eyes shut, dreading what’s to come. “i can’t do this to you anymore, y/n. i… i’m sorry.”
emergency sirens and flashing lights approach the old apartment building serving as yours and peter’s latest hideout. the whole world is on the lookout for him, so you two stowed yourselves away in brooklyn for a bit.
you were hopeful the rumors would pass eventually — about how peter shot the beloved mysterio and left him to die in cold blood. they’re merely talk, of course. you’d personally seen the events of that day unfold on the tower bridge. hell, your class was right at the center of them.
quentin beck was pure evil, so rotten he defamed both peter and spider-man with a charge as cruel as murder. he’s wreaking havoc on him from beyond the grave, over a complete misunderstanding that peter had nothing to do with.
beck’s true source of anger is stark industries. yet, once again, peter ended up the collateral damage.
he was deemed a wanted murderer. posters revealing his name and face were plastered up around the city, a reward even being offered to whoever who turns him in.
you’d proposed the idea of skipping town until things settled. the way you saw it, it was peter’s only option other than prison for twenty-five to life. peter was panicking and couldn’t think straight, so he went along with your getaway plan.
a few weeks later, he’s regretting it.
you’ve been the one person he could trust through this madness. you’re right there to console him, to protect him just like he does you. through sickness and health, life and clearly death, you stick by peter’s side. you left everything behind without a second thought, for him.
peter loves you more than you’ll ever fully be able to comprehend, which is why he can’t ask you to do that. this is his battle to fight, not yours or anyone else’s. his.
you suddenly freeze in your tracks, turning around to look at peter. “what are you talking about? you’re fine, pete.”
his eyes roam everywhere except to yours as they water. blinking back tears, he fixes his gaze on your intertwined hands. you notice a stray tear fall down his cheek and use one of your thumbs to wipe it away, then press a reassuring kiss to his lips. peter lets himself reciprocate momentarily before jerking back.
“please just… stop being so nice to me. you’re making this way harder than i wanted to to be,” he rasps and squeezes your hand tighter. you’re still lost, absolutely clueless about what he’s referring to.
“look, pete. i wanna hear you out, baby. but… i think it should wait until we get to jersey.” you keep your voice as calm as possible, though you’re terrified for both of you. since the feds know your location, they’ll have the place surrounded any minute.
hopping cities isn’t cutting it anymore, so you’ll have to change states this time. new jersey is next on your list.
using his strength to his advantage to hold you in place, peter seizes both your shoulders. his bloodshot eyes lock with yours. a stern expression coats his features, one you’ve seen from him yet never been on the receiving end of.
“we’re not going to jersey, y/n/n,” he declares, the sirens starting to grow louder. you feel a pit forming in your stomach. “we have to!” you immediately protest. “it’s not gonna be easy finding our way, but it’s the last-“
peter cuts you off, voice softer now. “no, no. that’s not what i meant.” he waits a beat and inhales a deep breath, aiming to settle his nerves. it doesn’t.
“i’m going to jersey. you’re staying.”
tears cloud your vision the second those words leave his mouth. you shake your head furiously back and forth, willing him to take them back.
part of you was always afraid peter would get second thoughts. not only about running away with you, about ever being with you. you’re both so young. your entire lives are ahead of you, and peter won’t allow you to risk your own because this isn’t worth a single bit of it.
he’d warned you how dangerous it was to be associated with spider-man. it’s why he held off on telling you about his alias for the longest he could. you naturally began asking questions whenever peter bailed on dates and showed up to school covered in bruises. he hated lying to you, using his stark internship as an excuse, so he finally came out and said it.
peter sometimes wonders if you’d be better off not knowing at all. it’s too late now, though.
“wait, what? why- why can’t i go with you?” you plead, peter’s fingers coming up to cup your cheek. his fingertips lightly caress your skin. “i’m a criminal, y/n. you’d be my accessory.”
it takes everything in him not to break down and sob along with you.
you lean into his palm, already missing his touch. “i don’t care... i don’t give a fuck. i just wanna be with you, peter.” peter literally has to bite his tongue to fight the urge to cry. hands grabbing either side of his head, your fingers twist in his hair roughly. “i’ll do anything, pete. i really will, i swear. name it.”
peter threads his own fingers through yours again, bringing your hands to his chest.
“i’m so sorry, angel. i never should’ve gotten you involved,” he murmurs out and pecks your forehead. “you have nothing to prove to me, okay? you’ve done more than enough. i’m gonna return the favor.”
you let out a strangled whine, your knees buckling as you come to terms with the gravity of your situation.
this is it. this is the end of yours and peter’s story.
“hey, none of that. it’s okay,” peter coos, neither of you convinced. the tastes of salt and metal flood both your senses. he helps you back up and hugs your waist, peppering your cheeks in more kisses. you’re bawling now, arms wound around his neck, clutching at his tattered jacket.
free tears escape peter’s eyes at last. “i love you. i love you so goddamn much, y/n. never forget it,” he nearly whispers. you sniffle and push your forehead against his. “i’m not saying it back ‘cuz that feels like a goodbye, and i- i can’t say goodbye to you yet.”
“it’s not a goodbye,” peter reassures you, rubbing circles on your lower back. “it’s, uh, it’s a see you later. i’m gonna figure something out and be back to you before you know it. can’t get rid of me that easy.”
that earns a faint giggle from you, peter managing a grin. you two attempt to ignore everything happening beyond these walls, only focusing on the other.
“then, um…” you clear your throat. “i love you.” his smile dwindling slightly, peter nods and meets your gaze. “i love you too, baby. you should probably get going soon.”
affirming his advice, a booming voice that sounds from a microphone commands peter to come out with his hands up.
your worry spikes, instinctively drawing peter in closer. he forces himself to put on a brave face for you.
“i’m scared, pete. where… where am i supposed to go?” you rush to ask him. “home, y/n/n. go home,” peter decides, pressing a final kiss to the top of your head. “just don’t get caught, and you’ll be fine.” carding your fingers in his undone curls, you sigh. “easier said than done, but i’ll try not to.”
you’d never pictured that the sweet boy with a heart too big and brain even bigger, who sings you to sleep even though his voice sucks and spends his last dollar buying you flowers, would be accused of first degree murder. it isn’t true or fucking fair.
what’s worse, he has to bare this storm alone now.
you lift your heavy backpack off the cold ground, slinging it onto your shoulders. peter stares out the window and down at the assembly of swarm troops crowded together.
“are you gonna be okay?” you catch his attention. he snaps back into reality, pulling your hood up so it covers your head. you’re wearing a sweatshirt of his, after having gone through all your own clothes. “i hope so. are you?” peter repeats your question. “i hope so,” you echo.
tying your hoodie strings tight, peter offers a smile. “say hi to may for me. ned and mj, too.” it’s going to be tough to face his family and friends after this. “i will. i’ll let them know you’re alright.” you kiss his cheek, placing a hand on his chest. peter lets your touch distract him from the mess he’s about to be hit with.
“thank you, y/n. i’ll see you soon, baby. you have my word,” he promises, stepping back so you two can go your separate ways.
you watch him with fresh tears threatening to spill.
“i’m gonna hold you to it. be safe, spidey.”
#peter parker#peter parker angst#peter parker fluff#peter parker x reader#peter parker x y/n#peter parker x you#peter parker imagine#peter parker fic#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker au#peter parker smut#tom holland#tom holland fluff#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n#tom holland angst#tom holland imagine#tom holland fic#tom holland fanfiction
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Wicked Games
pairing: Taeyong x reader
genre: series, angst, fuff, smut, toxic relationship AU, college AU
warnings: drinking, strangers to lovers, mentions of depression, mentions of death, pregnancy, Taeyong is toxic
words: 10k
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6
***
Sudden death of Taeyong’s father changed everything in your life’s three years ago. It’s safe to say you never thought that you’re attraction to the weird guy from university would lead you to this. Being a fiancé to a CEO of one of the three big companies in the country, being a fiancé of Lee Taeyong.
First he was pissed, he obviously was pissed when his father’s people came to him with the proposal. The situation was urgent and even though everyone knew he’s not into business he was their obvious choice. He was the heir.
Nothing he did in his life ever showed any intention of running a business, especially a business of his father that he hated so much and you were endlessly surprised at the idea of him even considering it.
You found out about his dilemma around a week later. He came to the dorms, and with the way he pushed Momo out of the room you thought he wanted sex. You thought he was pissed and wanted to get it off on you. He did that sometimes since the day your relationships became ‘established’. You called them established to yourself after the accident. He stopped testing your limits with Yoona, he stopped being mean and he just stopped being anything but normal to you. Relatively normal, but it was more than relatively normal when it came to Taeyong, and it made you happy. It made you happy enough how he took you to places, found time sometimes to see you in school and never spoke to you as if you were meaningless. You guessed the accident made him realise how much you meant to him. Maybe it really made him realise he didn’t want to lose you. You never asked and never spoke about that day and he never did so either but the mean unfriendly Taeyong that everyone feared said I love you to you and made your heart tremble every time he called you ‘baby’ and it was enough for you to be happy.
“My father died.”
“What?” he sat on your bed lifeless. “When? Are you okay?”
“Last week. His employees came to me, they want me to take the lead.”
“Last week? Did you go to the funeral? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Taeyong, I’m so sorry. What happened?” you began mumbling
“Do you hear me?” he said roughly.
“Did you hear me?” you furrowed your brows.
“I fucking did.” he bit “I don’t know why he died, I didn’t listen, stroke or something, who fucking cares if he’s dead already.”
“He’s your dad…? Yes you didn’t have the best relationship but you lived together.”
“Y/n, our relationship is not like in movies, I won’t cry about him after he died. I hated him and still hate him. Old fuck even dead found a way to shit in my life. I didn’t go to the funeral, and I didn’t tell you because you’d force me to go and we would fight.” you sat back leaning on the wall. Taeyong noticed your quiet sulking, leaning in to you. “I’m totally fine, don’t worry about me. I came to talk, I have two options in life now. Either become a CEO or go completely broke. Pick a life you want to live.” he spoke, leaning against the wall with his palm to have a few centimetres left between your faces.
“Me?”
“Yes you, I came to you and ask for your advice because this decision is affecting both of us.”
“Taeyong.” you whispered and hugged him like a koala, wrapping your limbs around him.
“What?” he sounded confused making you wonder if he genuinely didn’t understand or just pretended.
“You never wanted this in life, I think you know better than anyone else what to tell them.”
“It’s not that simple.” he sighed and pushed back. “That’s why I came to you, you’re smart.”
“What are their conditions?”
“If I say no it’s simple. Freezing all the money I have, I reckon they’ll expel me from school too since I won’t have any more ‘power’” he showed brackets with his fingers.
“You’re not stupid, if you’ll start studying they won’t touch you.”
“It’s not that, everyone hate me to the gut already, me studying won’t help a thing now.”
“And if you say yes…?”
“It’s actually pretty simple too. I’m a toy, they won’t let me do anything, I know nothing about business, that’s why I’m their first option. I’m easy to do what they want me to do. I’ll have everything but power over the company.”
“Depending on how you look on it it’s not that bad of an option too, right?”
“Yeah, especially if you don’t mind being in jail.” he chuckled hopelessly.
“Why would you get in jail?”
“They’ll obviously at one point make me sign something I shouldn’t have to get rid of me.”
“You can tell them you’ll leave when they will want you to leave.”
“What if I’ll change my mind by the time?” he looked at you.
So this is what was bothering him. He didn’t want to lose power. Power of having everything under control.
“If you’ll change your mind I’m sure you’ll be educated enough to turn everything in your favour.”
“I’m really lost right now…” he sighed.
But he really didn’t have to tell you this, it was obvious. With the way he spoke and with the way he moved you guessed in no time. Taeyong was worried and even if none of these worries were about his suddenly passed away father, they still were based on serious matters. Matters that apparently he considered common for you two.
Six months after your conversation he graduated and became an official CEO. For the past months they trained him like a dog and visibly there was nothing left now from the guy that fascinated your imagination almost a year ago.
They sold the house, even though his mum protested at first, Taeyong refused to pay thousands of dollars for it monthly. He moved out to a pretty flat in the tallest building of the city and bought his mom a flat nearby. Suddenly she became a big part of his life, and you didn’t talk to him about it, but something told you she was sent by shareholders to watch him and control him.
Multiple times he tried to move you in with him but you protested vigorously knowing that you won’t be able to study properly if you’ll live with him. Also because he was all busy now and you’ll be alone all the time.
A year later you graduated and he took all of your belongings to his place without asking, making you officially move in with him.
Only then you properly experienced how quiet and passive he became. It was as bad as if a twin with absolutely different personality switched him. You tried to speak to him but one thing that didn’t change in Taeyong was his closeness, he’d get worked up quicker than you finish your sentence, and that became your little hobby, pissing the shit out of him. It was the only time he seemed alive and gave you the vibes of Taeyong that you loved.
“You never were a psycho, right?” you told him one day, when he sat on his side of the bed.
“What?” he turned around confused, undoing the cufflinks on the dress shirt he wore to work. You crawled over the bed to him, helping him to undo the buttons of the shirt. When you were done, you straddled him. Your hands pulled the shirt off his shoulders, letting it slide down his arms.
“You’re a great actor, that’s it. No psycho will turn into a CEO in less than a year.” you hugged his shoulders.
“I wasn’t acting.”
“I didn’t think so at the time too… but now it’s obvious you were just playing… for whatever reason… getting people’s attention?”
“What are you saying?” he furrowed his eyebrows.
“You fucked two girls at the same time, maybe even more, I don’t know. You peed in a fucking cup in the middle of cafeteria, you filmed girls have sex with you, you fought with your parents, gave no shits about studying, formed a gang and did stupid things, even acted different with me, but now… it feels like we’ve been married for at least 5 years and our children are in some sort of school far away from us, and I’m a wife that have nothing to do except for sitting on the bed, because everything is done by someone else and wait for my businessman husband to come and fuck me if he’s in the mood. That’s fucking boring, what’s wrong with you? Where are your friends? Did you do it to piss your father off and now you just don’t have a reason?”
“You’re asking me why I don’t pee in cups publicly and don’t fuck random girls and don’t film them anymore?”
“Forget it.” you slid off his lap. “Good night.” you kissed his cheek demonstratively and covered your head with the duvet.
You heard him stand up and walk out of room. You heard him whisper ‘fucking bitch’ under his breath before he exited. You tucked yourself under the duvet harder, trying to kill the tears that flooded your pillow quickly. He didn’t come back to bed, for the first time you slept separately. When you woke up he was already gone to work. You didn’t know yet he left the house in the night.
-
Taeyong opened the door to his office holding a tablet in his hands. His eyes were focused on the item he held and it took him a few seconds to notice you sitting on his chair. His hand found a switch, turning the lights on and his eyes finally focused on you. He seemed surprised and looked around the room as if he expected someone else to be there too. You smiled at him, moving your feet from his table to the floor, standing up.
“What are you doing here?” he asked confused.
“I came to see you.” you smiled and walked from behind the table. Taeyong’s eyes scanned your outfit, which consisted only of the jacket that you found on his chair and panties that he wasn’t able to see yet under the buttoned up jacket.
“Is that all you have on?” he gulped and walked towards you.
“See yourself.” you teased and he took one more step closer.
“I can’t.” he sighed and walked pass you to sit.
“Seriously?” you turned to watch him sit. You felt pissed, and anger burned your chest immediately. “Who do you think you are…?”
“What?” he placed his belongings over the table.
“Lee Taeyong I dated would already have fucked me on his table multiple times but I guess you’re someone else.” you pushed, balancing on the armrest you leaned over him.
“I’m at work.”
“This is your fucking company, this all is yours, we can do whatever the fuck you want to.” your anger turned slowly into upset. “Taeyong, baby, don’t act like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You don’t have to torture yourself all alone. I’m here to help, other people are here to help too. Responsibility doesn’t mean you have to switch personalities. I miss the you that kept me on edge. Why don’t you keep me on edge anymore?” you sighed, leaning in closer. Taeyong moved his eyes away, looking somewhere behind. “Fuck me.” you sighed into his ear. Taeyong locked his lips, thinking.
“Let me close the door.” his hand landed on your thigh, signalling for you to stand up.
“Don’t.”
“Anyone can walk in.” his other hand landed on your thigh too.
“That’s what makes it more exciting.” you whispered into his mouth, leaving a kiss on his lips.
Taeyong pushed you off his chair, sitting you on the table. His hands landed on your thighs again, running them up your bare skin under the jacket. “Underwear? Disappointing.” he chuckled. Taeyong’s fingers found the buttons of his jacket, undoing them quickly. The material fell onto your sides, revealing your naked body to Taeyong. His fingers ran over your stomach, grabbing your sides. He pulled himself closer to you while sitting on the chair, leaving wet trail of kisses from your belly button down to the line of your underwear. He stopped, looking up at you. Your fingers ran over his hair, pulling his head back closer to your body. He chuckled and placed one more kiss on your skin, getting lower. His lips ran over your clothed pelvis, leaving multiple kisses lower. “Take them off.” he commanded and moved away, allowing you to quickly take your panties off. You smirked, placing them into the chest pocket of his shirt and patting it afterwards. Taeyong lowered his head again, pulling his tongue out and sliding it down your entrance. You grabbed onto his head, pushing his head closer to you. He slid his tongue back up, and you pushed yourself back onto the table, spreading your legs wider. His head lowered more, flatting his tongue out against your vagina. He made a few licks, getting you all worked up in a second. Your hand grabbed onto his head tighter, pushing him against your centre harder. He sucked in air, forcing a moan out of your throat. You felt his fingers get inside of you at the same time with his mouth getting back to your clitoris, sucking on it sweetly. Taeyong’s fingers began slow pumping inside of you, forcing tiny moans get from your throat. Your body twitched under his touch, moving to meet him. Your insides pulsed, twitched and craved to cum. His fingers moved quicker and with the way his tongue swirled inside of you, teasing the spot you loved and hated for him to tease,you were finally able to do the thing you wanted. You came, feeling little waves wash over your insides, feeling the little contractions. He pushed back on his chair, watching you catch your breath from the high. The quick orgasm made your head get dizzier than usual, making it harder for you to stand up.
“Turn around.” he quickly commanded “We’re short on time.”
“As you please.” you put all of your strength to do as he said, bending over the table. You heard Taeyong stand up behind you, quickly undoing his zipper. You held onto the table from the other side, spreading your legs a bit wider. Your eyes focused on the door knob, feeling your insides clench at the thought of someone walking in. Taeyong’s fingers ran over your butt cheek, making the shivers run up your body. His hands pushed the jacket higher over your back, freeing more of you to his eyes. Taeyong’s hands ran over your skin, squeezing your butt in his palms multiple times. You heard how he pumped himself, sliding his member against your entrance. You moaned at the feeling of him pushing. You grabbed onto his cock from behind, forcing him to get his body closer to you. You moved your hand up and down multiple times, sliding him against you to cover him in lube. Your eyes rolled when you pushed him inside and that was it for your attention on the door. Taeyong pulled away your hand, sliding in and out of you himself. His hand quickly found your neck, grabbing onto it with force. At first you thought he just tried to choke you, but his hold got stronger and you understood he tried to pull you closer to him. You let go of the table, sliding your hand behind his head to hold onto his neck. Taeyong’s hands roamed over your body, finally finding their place over your breasts. His hand massaged over your nipple, while the other one slid back down, rubbing against your clitoris. His teeth dug into your neck, biting onto one spot, leaving for sure a red mark for everyone to see.
“Wait, wait, wait. Let me kiss you.” you forced him to let go of you to turn around, sitting with your butt on the table once again. He roughly entered you, making your hands and legs wrap around him twice better. Your mouth found his, hungrily sucking in last sells of his sanity into your mouth. Taeyong stuck his tongue out for you to lick it, and you gladly did as he wanted you to while his hips helped him to drill into you.
“I’m cuming.” he sighed breathlessly and you ran your fingers over his neck, kissing it afterwards. It felt as if he filled you to the brim, continuing the pumps for you to cum. The noises of the sticky substance between you filled up the room, covering your tiny moans. His fingers worked quickly over your clitoris forcing you to clench teasingly around him. “We’re spilling over the table, finish quickly, we need to clean up.” he whispered into your ear, leaving a kiss on it. You began breathing heavily focusing your mind on his fingers. You cried out, making a loud noise escape your throat. “Fuck, Y/n, we have to keep it down here. My secretary is behind the door.” his hand ran over your face, pushing back your hair, caressing your cheeks afterwards. “You’re insane.” he whispered into your mouth, running his eyes over your lips, leaving a wet kiss over them.
He slid out of you, making his cum spill over the glass table.
“Do you have tissues here?” you asked when he sat down on the chair.
“Fuck, no, I don’t.” he ran his eyes over the room, confirming it.
“I have in my bag, it’s behind you.” he turned around, giving you the purse. You opened it quickly, fishing out tissues. You threw one to him, getting one for yourself to clean up the table and yourself. Jumping off the table you noticed how he already collected himself and sat there calmly watching you. You leaned in over him, wishing to get the panties from his pocket, but Taeyong pushed your hand away, pulling you into the chair. You fell on top of him and Taeyong helped you to find a more or less comfortable pose, making you lay on your side, resting your head against his shoulder, wrapping your hand over his neck and waist. He took off the jacket from your shoulders, laying it over you to cover your butt and breasts from the world. His hand caressed carefully behind your knee and up to your thigh, while the other cutely pressed onto your cheek from time to time.
“I’m so happy to see you here.” he finally told you after some time.
“It didn’t seem like it at first.” you replied, running your fingers over his mouth.
“I’m sorry, you’re right I’m a poo since I got this job.”
“Poo? You’re becoming soft and cute, you’re making me fall for you even deeper.” you smiled warmly at him, feeling your heart drown in love for Taeyong.
“After two years you’re still falling?” he sounded confused “You’re mine, there’s not a part of you that’s not mine and you know it.” you nodded at him, planting a light kiss over his lips. You rubbed your face against his chest, wishing you were at home, wishing you could just fall asleep like that and not let go of him. “Where are your clothes? What did you wear to come here?”
“This.” you joked, showing with your finger on the jacket.
“I’m sure that’s what I wore to work today.” he chuckled and the sound of him laughing was music to you. You squeezed his neck pulling his face closer to yours, kissing Taeyong to show him all the love that was hiding in your chest for so long.
“Mr. Lee, your meeting with marketing team is in 15 minutes.” you heard a woman’s voice through the speaker. Taeyong moved away, pressing a button to answer.
“Thank you, Jiyong, I’ll come in a second.” his finger let go of the button, turning all of his attention back to you “Baby, I think it’s better you’ll put some clothes on. I’m not sharing your beautiful body with anyone.” he leaned in quickly planting a kiss on your chest, forcing you to stand up afterwards. You received your underwear back, putting it on, you handed Taeyong his jacket, throwing the dress that was laying on the couch over your body. “I’ll try to come home earlier.” his mouth found yours, sticking his tongue in yours.
“I want to find a job.” you said randomly thinking how being the housewife wasn’t the life of your dreams.
“You can work here.” he suggested, walking you closer to the door, kissing you deeply.
“No, I want to be independent.”
“Okay, be.” he laughed again, leaving another deep kiss on your mouth when his secretary knocked on the door, coming in.
“Mr. Lee, oh, I’m sorry, they’re here.” she ran her eyes over your body, making you even more embarrassed.
“A second.” he said getting his attention back to you. “I love you.” he whispered “Thank you… for what you said and did too.” he tried to kiss you once again, but you didn’t let him, planting a kiss over his cheek. You turned around to walk out, seeing that Jiyong stared at you this whole time. Her eyes scanned you once again, stopping on the red mark he left on you. You bowed politely, leaving the office quickly.
“Jiyongah, tell them to come in.” you heard Taeyong’s voice from afar.
“Yes boss.”
-
“Yong?” you asked, peeking from the bathroom. “Hi.” you smiled seeing him walk into the room.
“Hi.” he nodded , looking even more serious than he usually did now.
“Difficult day?” you walked towards him, tying your hair in a bun.
“No, not really.” he sat down on the bed. You stood in front of him, running your fingers through his hair. “I…” he sighed and you found it cute how he found it hard to speak. “I cheated.” your hands fell from his head.
“Today?”
“No, long time ago, I just didn’t know how to tell.”
“I…I…why?” you felt a lump form in your throat.
“You can leave if you want to.” Taeyong suggested quickly, not answering your question.
“No, tell me why.” you repeated angrily.
“What do you want me to tell you?” he lifted his head and you dug your nails into the skin of your palms to not hit him.
“Why you cheated. I want to know.” you spoke slowly as if you were putting dots after every word.
“I was stressed.”
“Stressed? Are you serious? You went to someone else? Why? Am I not supporting you? Didn’t I ask you everyday how are you doing, how the day went? Don’t I ask questions because I worry about you? Because I know you’re going to the job you never wanted. And you’re telling me you were stressed and didn’t consider me as someone who could help you with it. Nice, that’s nice to know and hear.”
“You asked me afterwards. You were busy with graduation and then I just didn’t want you to bother, I didn’t want you to worry. I thought it’s better if I’ll keep it to myself but I felt guilty… I didn’t know I could even feel that way. I never felt bad like that but the guilt ate me. That’s why I was quiet, that’s why I’m boring, I was just feeling guilty and was trying to build up courage to tell you about it. I didn’t think it’d be that scary. I didn’t know I’d be scared to tell you this.” he focused his gaze on his knees, with his hands on each side of his head. You didn’t know he could feel guilt like that, you didn’t know he can feel this way about cheating.
“Okay, whatever, that’s fine.” you suddenly switched the mood, standing up and walking around the bed.
“What?” he looked up at you surprised.
“I did that too…”
“Did what?” he looked at you confused.
“I cheated once too.”
“Don’t try to bite me back just to bite.”
“I’m not lying. I didn’t tell because I knew you’d throw a scene, try to find out who it was, but now we’re even, you don’t have anything to throw against me.”
“What the fuck are you saying?” he jumped up, walking towards you. “When? With who?” his hands grabbed your forearms, shaking. “Tell me! Now!”
“I won’t.”
“I will fucking kill him, and you too if you won’t tell me. Who. Did. You. Fuck?”
“You’re ridiculous Taeyong.” you shook his hands off. “You only care who it was. Why? Oh, I know why. It’s obvious, no one’s allowed to touch your fucking property, right? You don’t care why I did it, you don’t care why would I cheat on the man I love. There’s no such thoughts in your head, you only care about who it was because you only care about my body.” you shouted, pushing him on his chest.
“And that’s fucking right. You’re mine, your body is mine. No one is allowed to touch you before or after me. Especially at the time when you’re fucking mine.” he shouted back at you and you chocked. His words cut like a knife. All these years after he still acted like an ignorant prick who didn’t love you as a whole, he only cared for your body. Tears flooded your eyes and you couldn’t see anything.
“No one’s allowed, blah blah blah, Taeyong. Guess what? No one’s allowed but someone still did it. Want to know how, since why is not really bothering you?” you looked at him furiously, breathing heavily. Taeyong probably never saw you being angry like that, shaking his head yes scarily.
“I came to him myself, I said I wanted sex, he agreed happily. We went to his place and he undressed me immediately, I didn’t even look around, he took my clothes off at the door and took me to his bedroom. I came twice only off his tongue. He made me feel so good, almost as good as you did back when you licked me for the first time at the pierce. You know what was the key? He really wanted me, he really liked me and he showed it with his whole presence. Want to know what happened next?” you looked at Taeyong who looked as if he was about to murder someone. He didn’t react, and you found it as a great opportunity to continue. “I sucked his dick. I think I did my best with him, he made me choke and he made me cry, I even sucked on his balls, can you believe it?” you made a low chuckle. “And then he fucked me, fucked me for hours, fucked me for every evening you came home, turned your back to me and fell asleep like I never existed. For all the days you said I wouldn’t understand he drilled into me in such a sweet pace I still think of him sometimes. I still think if I should call him again. You know, when another day when you’re too stressed comes and ….”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” he interrupted you “SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.” his voice was so loud you thought you’ll lose your hearing.
“What? You don’t like to hear how I suck someone else’s dick? Wait, you’re the video type of guy, I think I have the video of it, I asked him to film it for you.” you laughed carelessly, reaching out for your phone.
You stopped halfway though. Stopped, because your cheek burned like crazy. Burned, because Taeyong slapped you. You couldn’t understand it at first but when you did you squatted immediately, holding with your palms onto the burning skin. Tears began streaming again, this time accompanied by loud crying coming from your throat.
“Fucking bitch, I told you to shut your fucking mouth!” he shouted again, hitting his foot against the wooden bed. The loud thud made you go deaf. Your brain guessed he probably could’ve hit you with the same ease.
“Let’s break up, Taeyong. That’s it, we’re over, I don’t want this.” you jumped up looking over the room for your belongings, but the tears and pain told you not to, quickly grabbing your phone and running out of the room.
“Baby, wait.” he called after you, pulling onto your hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Let’s get you ice.” he said carefully as if he never shouted before.
“Taeyong, can’t you see, we’re in a hole?” you cried out.
“You can hit me if you want to. Do you want to hit me? Please don’t go, you’re my everything, I swear, I love you, please don’t. Please hit me too.” He fell onto his knees, hugging your waist tightly. His face hid in your stomach and your heart sunk for him. You pushed him off you, to look him in the eyes. You lifted one of your arms, slapping him on his cheek. Taeyong closed his eyes, expecting more from you.
“Stand up.” you commanded and he did it quickly. Your hands quickly began throwing punches, hitting his chest, you cried even harder, not controlling yourself. Your fingers wrapped around his neck, beginning to choke him more and more, until it felt too difficult for your hands to push, you let go of his neck, hearing him breath heavily. You looked at him afterwards, throwing last punch on his chest.
“Don’t you ever dare to fucking touch me, you sick prick.”
-
“You’re sleeping with someone again?”
“I do not.”
“Are you?”
“I fucking told you I don’t.” he seemed to be pissed already. This was your first conversation in a month, maybe. You two acted like neither of you ever existed. He didn’t look at you, didn’t touch, never spoke to you unless there was no other way. You knew he was mad because someone touched his property, and you were mad because you loved him and he cheated. He slept with someone else and even the thought of having any type of arrangement after what you find out made you sick. You just felt like it wasn’t for only once. You just felt that he did before, or maybe even after. You found yourself going back to college days, when he’d play the weird game he played with you and Yoona. Something, you never understood and never talked about. What was this all for? What type of wicked game was going on in his head at the time? And what could make you sure it was over?
Nothing, frankly speaking. It’s just that you two weren’t together at most times, he’d be at work, you’d be studying, then he’d be at work and you’d just spend all your days at home, doing things, hanging out with Momo, doing rich jobless girls things, then it was both of you at work. You didn’t know if he was into something like that there too? But then again, he seemed to be focused and serious when he went there.
“Why getting worked up from a single question if you’re not?” you chuckled knowing it’ll only piss him off more.
“I just got home and you act like a bitch once again.”
“A bitch?” you asked confused “Just think about how much you hated your mother when she let your father cheat on her. Think how you hated him for cheating. You’re putting us in their place. Youre not doing it any different from your father.”
“What do you even mean I’m sleeping with someone else AGAIN? I never slept with anyone like that..” he asked looking angry, walking closer to you. “Did you go back to the guy you wanted to fuck and want me to do the same?”
“What? He got married if you’re interested, so you can calm yourself down finally.”
“So he’s married? For how long?” he asked focusing his mind on this information.
“Are you fucking serious?” you shouted again being mad with how he subtly tried to find out who it was, making you wonder how did you last for almost three years with him.
“Why the fuck did you ask me this in the first place!?” he sighed annoyed. “Do you want me to cheat on you? I think you need to see a therapist, why are you so fucking focused on something that never existed?”
“Never existed!? Didn’t you tell me you cheated?”
“Didn’t you tell me the same fucking thing!? Why am I not asking you the same fucking question every day ? Why?”
“Cause you don’t care?”
“Baby, Y/n, no, stop, I don’t want this.” he sighed and he seemed genuinely tired. His fingers touched your forearms. “I know I’m the one that made our relationship flow in that direction, I know I’m the one that acted cold towards you, I’m the one that treated you badly and received all the love from you in return. You worked hard to change me and showed me love, you always did, I know you were tired of me being the way I was but now I changed, I’m different, even though you don’t seem to be happy with what I turned into too, I still love you in my own idiotic way. I’m almost the normal boring person you always wanted me to be. Why do you not seem happy? Why the only conversations we’re having sound more like dogs barking at each other?” he met your eyes with his.
“I’m… it’s not like that. I didn’t try to change you, I didn’t want you to be boring. I fell in love with a different you. All I wanted for you to be faithful to me, I never asked for you to become boring. All I asked for is faithfulness and love.” your hands moved, forcing him to let go of you, wrapping them around his waist. “You never speak to me. I wish you told me about your real feelings. This feels like I’m just trapped in some sort of castle with a villain that don’t love me. Even though I know you do, or at least I hope you do love me, I still feel you not being open to me. I’m just tired of always fighting, fighting every day to get any information from you.” you sighed into his chest. “You used to be angry at the whole world and then would be gentle with me, but now it feels the other way round. You’re all nice and sweet to all those people surrounding you and when you come to me, it’s like you’re putting out everything you held back through the day on me. And that’s the best option, because the other one is just you turning your back to me and keeping quiet.” You felt tears pinching your eyes, shutting them tightly to prevent yourself from crying. “I hate the thought of telling you to break up and I hate that there’s so much fucked up shit that happened to us, that we did to each other that even brings up the thought in my head. I always think what would we be like if you never took this job, if we just stayed the way we were.”
“Remember how I told you that I can hurt my girlfriend with my actions but I would never hurt my babydoll? Remember?” he suddenly brought this up, making blood boil inside of you.
“What do you want to say?”
“You chose the girlfriend path.”
“You’re making everything worse again.” you pulled back.
“No, I’m just saying, that if you didn’t tell me you loved me, if I didn’t tell you this back, if we didn’t become a couple we could’ve stayed as fuck buddies for all those years.”
“I would’ve never stayed as your doll for that number of years.”
“You’re still mine, completely mine, and you’re my babydoll, and my love, I don’t tell you often that I love you, I’m sorry, I’m lost.” you looked him in the eyes, brushing hair off his forehead with your fingers. “Will you marry me?” he spoke in a minute, breaking the silence.
“What?” you looked at him confusedly.
“I debated if I should ask, I want you to become my wife.”
“Why…you spoke about it like that?” you sighed disapprovingly. He never was the romantic one but he could’ve at least done something more than this.
“I thought about it for quite a while now. So, do you want to get married?”
“This don’t even feel like the right time for proposal.” you shook your head. Were you meant to push back everything and tell him yes and relax your mind finally? Were you dreaming of the life he was about to give you?
You thought back on your conversations about his family. He was never treated nicely by his mother, his dad never showed love to him. He watched them live together but separately at the same time. He never saw his parents love each other, treat each other nicely, so was he able to give you what he never learned? The question made you scared. It made your insides clench because you truly loved him. Since the day you saw him you loved him and were always there to be for him, you were there to forgive him for whatever he did.
But the switched turned, when he asked you, even so randomly, to get married, you felt like you could not take it. You felt suddenly that nothing you ever did would make him change. Nothing you ever did, would turn him into someone who could never hurt you. The rare days of happiness and lightness were drowned in mud with the ones like this. You wanted it to be the other way round, you wanted everything in flowers and rainbows, you wanted days like this one to be the rare dark blue smudges on the sky. You were drained morally and physically and the job that you got in hopes of distraction only made everything worse.
“You’re hesitating?” Taeyong held your face in his hands, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs. His big brown eyes watched you carefully, making you feel like you could cry. Just a glance at his beautiful eyes made you realise there’s nothing you could ever want in your life except for him. You shook your head no, moving your face closer to him. Taeyong allowed you too, watching your moves carefully. You raised your hand running your thumb over his sharply shaped lips. His hands let go of your face making it more comfortable for you to move your hand. You leaned in and kissed him, moving your lips slowly. Taeyong stood frozen, as if he didn’t think you’d kiss him, as if it felt not obvious to him. Your hands wrapped around his neck, breaking the kiss.
“Why don’t you kiss me back? You don’t love me anymore? You didn’t miss me?” you whispered in his lips, feeling like your heart could jump out of your chest. You practically hung on his shoulders, wishing for him to do anything. Anything that could make you believe once again he wanted this relationship. You were hoping he’d just fuck away your worries like he usually did.
“Can I?” he asked and you felt power over him. His eyes, they never shone like this before, you felt him being scared, you felt him being ready to obey. At this very moment you realised he was yours as much as you were his. At this very moment you realised that if you’d say no, he wouldn’t fight, he’d just leave. Your heart clenched, you didn’t want him to leave, even if he was only about to leave this room.
“Didn’t you say just a second ago I’m completely yours?” you stared at him but he didn’t react, looking at you. You moved your body even closer to his “You know I’m wrapped around your finger, why you’re asking? Of course you can.” you felt his hands on your waist, forcing you to walk over to your bed immediately. He lowered his head to your neck, nibbling on your sensitive skin. Taeyong laid you in the bed carefully, making you surprised. His hands ran over your legs, making your skin burn even through material of your pants.
“I know I fucked up, but I just couldn’t lie to you, that’s why I admitted I cheated. Maybe it could’ve been better if I kept it to myself, but thanks to that I know that you did it too.” you opened your mouth to speak but he stopped you “And I don’t blame you… I know it’s only my behaviour that made you do these things. Even though it is hard for me morally, and no, not because your my property, but because I love you and I don’t know how to show you that I do, or how to act nicely. I have so many thoughts in my head and all of them are about you and our relationship, and then work comes up too sometimes, and I just feel so shitty, I never knew I could feel this way about a relationship with another human being. I never knew that I could feel depressed because I’m turning your life into hell, and because turning your life into hell is making my life hell too.”
“Taeyong, listen.” you sat up, when he went quiet, finding it as a great opportunity to speak. “I didn’t cheat. I said it because I was mad, because you hurt me and because you tore my heart in pieces. I was upset and blubbered it randomly. I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, fuck.” he sighed and his face expression looked like he was in pain.
“What?”
“You said were even, it made me feel better? I don’t know how to say it. I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you. Y/n, I can’t keep you hostage here anymore.” he fell on his back, rubbing his face with his palms.
“You’re not keeping me hostage. I love you.” you leaned in to him, leaving a kiss on his collarbone. “I’m sorry I lied, I didn’t know the lie was actually making you feel better.” you sighed and crawled over his body, straddling his waist. “But don’t it make you feel better? The fact I’m only yours.” you forced him to move his hands from his face. He looked at you as if he was about to cry. Your heart ached, sometimes when you would watch him sleep, you’d run your eyes around his soft features wondering how someone with such cute looks could have such a messed up life and nature. His eyes blinked slowly, waiting for your next words. “Doesn’t it turn you on? The fact I’m only fucked by you? It used to really do the thing, remember?” your hand ran behind your back, stroking his crotch multiple times, feeling it harden. Your hands ran up your stomach, going back down to the hem of the shirt you wore at home, lifting it up your stomach, giving him the view of your breasts and pulling it over your head, leaving you topless. “How handy, I happened to not have a bra on.” you forced a chuckle, taking Taeyong’s palm in yours, moving it up your stomach, between your breasts and onto your neck, forcing him to lock his fingers around it. “Don’t let go of my neck.” you whispered, feeling his fingers lightly wrap around it.
You moved your body lower, sitting yourself exactly over his cock. Your hands undid pants he wore to work, lowering them as far as you could. Carefully taking off your underwear, you felt his eyes quickly run up and down your bare body. Something, he hasn’t seen in a while now. “Give me your hand.” he wanted to give you the one that held onto your neck “No, the other one.” he expanded the hand that was laying on the bed, for you to grab onto it. “Don’t let go of my neck no matter what.” you whispered and rolled your hips against him. Your fingers intertwined with his, leaning in closer to him, feeling how his fingers wrapped tighter around your neck. You began moving slowly against him, hating how the material of his underwear was ruining everything. You moved back to free his cock and pressed against him once again, rolling your hips. “Taeyong.” you moaned, when you felt the tip of his cock slide against your clitoris. In no time your bodies began making a sound with all the lube that formed. His hand began chocking you, making your eyes roll, when your hips moved quicker. You wanted to know if you could make him cum like that, moving in a even more quicker pace, moaning uncontrollably and pressing your body harder against his cock. He finally began making noises, when he realised that he was pressing onto your neck too harshly. The moans that left his throat let you know he was enjoying this as much you were. You wondered if he felt how you clenched, pressing harder against his length.
“I could cum from this.” he moaned and let go of your neck, catching your body that was about to fall against him with his hand. “But I’d much rather cum inside of you.” his fingers flipped you over, hovering over you with his body. “Sure you don’t mind it too.” he chuckled and made you shiver. Words that left his mouth sometimes made you feel as if you were back in college, sleeping with him while Momo was away at your tiny bed in the dorms. He undid the shirt, throwing it behind him. Lowering his body Taeyong left a kiss on your collarbone, moving his lips down your stomach. You caught him with your hand, pulling back up.
“Don’t kiss me, don’t be soft. I’m already soaking wet, just fuck into me harshly. Fuck me so that I couldn’t walk properly tomorrow, fuck me for everyday of the past month you didn’t. Don’t even warn me, just do it. With no feelings attached. Fulfil your needs, don’t think of me..” you found his cock with your hands, pumping it slowly.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” he whispered, leaning in to kiss you.
“But I want you rough. For me, please.” ‘I need you to fuck these dumb thoughts out of my head’ you told yourself, sucking onto his tongue, when he slipped it into your mouth.
You felt him considering your proposal while he was kissing you, and felt his hands on your thighs in a minute, flipping you over onto your stomach. Taeyong’s hands ran over your ass, angling you better for him to enter. His fingers massaged your butt cheek, and then the next second you felt him bump his hips against yours. You cried and moaned at the stretch.
“Fuck.” you heard him curse behind you, bumping his hips against you once again. “I missed the feeling of you being right around me. It’s such a sweet feeling, fuck.” he moved his hand over to your other cheek, squeezing the skin so you began seeing stars in your eyes, or maybe you began seeing stars because of his cock inside of you. You weren’t sure, but either way you knew you were close.
Taeyong always knew when you were at the edge, rubbing your clit right at the time you needed it the most.
“Taeyong?” you called but you guessed he took it as a moan. “Taeyong?” you asked again more seriously.
“Yes?” he asked, slowing down for a second, but finding it a better option to lift your body against his.
“I’ll marry you.”
“For real?”
“Yes, I’ll marry you, Taeyong.” you moaned, feeling his warmth spread over your insides for the first time that night.
-
You held onto his hand, playing with his fingers lightly, resting your cheek against his shoulder. You were standing in the middle of a mall, waiting for him to finish his conversation on the phone.
“Why?” you felt him stiffen under you as the question left his mouth, making you wonder who he talked to. “I can’t come.” he seemed uninterested and angry at the same time. “No, mom, it’s because I’m with Y/n at this shopping centre, not because I avoid you. You never wanted me to come before, what is the deal?” you shuffled next to him, and Taeyong turned his head to look at you. His features visibly softened, moving his hand to lay over your shoulders, while your arms hugged his waist. “What is it with this unusual interest in my life? What you need?” he sighed and you lightly punched his chest.
“It’s your mom, be nice.” you furrowed your eyebrows watching him roll his eyes in response. You almost made him drop his phone with the power you took it from his hand. “Hi, mrs. Lee” you spoke politely. “It’s me, Y/n.” Taeyong to your surprise didn’t try to take the phone back, he just shook his head disapprovingly, running his eyes over the shop signs.
“Hi darling, of course it’s you.” she chuckled and seemed in a good mood. It’s obviously not the first time you spoke with her, but it definitely seemed like the first time she was cheerful during a conversation with you, or more likely for the first time in the past years you knew her. You didn’t do anything for her to hate you and you assumed she was meant to be more than happy that her son have someone who cares for him, but you just couldn’t unsee her fakeness towards you and that’s what really pissed you off. Even now, over the phone, the cheerfulness felt fake and unnecessary. You knew she wasn’t a great mother, you knew she did things she shouldn’t have and you knew she never really cared for anything besides money, but still. It felt wrong listening to Taeyong speak to her like that, and more than feeling wrong you knew it was only going to make him mad.
And you didn’t want him to be mad, not now, when he put all of him into behaving nicely. When he fought with himself at every bitter comment he had on his mind, when he wouldn’t leave to work without kissing your lips and wouldn’t run back home later than a minute after his working hours were over. You never knew you’d even get to taste food Taeyong cooked for you, you never really thought about the fact he can cook in the first place.
None of this really mattered to you, besides the fact that he finally spoke about what he felt or at least about things that were happening around him. At first he seemed shy and unsure if he should, but as the time went by, you’d get to hear things like what he ate for lunch or who got married at the office. You never knew he could be interested in something like that, you never even guessed he could be chatting with people at work, let alone gossiping. You felt like he finally let go, or at least tried really hard to do it. To let go of all the things that clustered in his brain and made him grumpy and annoyed at the whole world. You felt like it was working out, you felt the happiest and it was the best six months out of your entire relationship. You thought more and more to yourself that you were just in a bad phase and that was the only reason you doubted his proposal. He made you think about it everyday unknowingly. You finally felt like you were ready to spend your entire life with him, except for the fact he never brought it up.
For the slightest you believed you misheard him and he never asked you to get married, he never even gave you hints, that maybe he changed his mind or the question he asked was serious. He never brought it up, until this Monday, when before leaving for work he suddenly walked back to kitchen, standing right behind you when you were frying your egg. His hands laid on your waist, sliding to hug you and pull your body against his back.
“Taeyong, what?” you chuckled, holding onto his neck with your fingers, trying to see his face “I thought you were late.”
“I thought maybe you changed your mind and want to actually marry me?” it felt like someone dropped a bucket of ice-cold water over your head. “I know you said yes, but you said it when I was fucking you into oblivion, I’m not sure I can take that as a proper answer.” he smirked, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
“I do want to marry you.” you sighed and ran your fingers through his hair.
“I’m dumb in things like that and to not pick something wrong, I thought maybe we could go and get you the ring together?” you nodded at his suggestion, feeling butterflies arise in your stomach. “Great, I think we can go Saturday morning.” he suggested, leaving a kiss on your shoulder blade and going this time for sure.
And now, standing in the middle of a shopping mall that Taeyong picked, you were excited, but felt sick in your stomach at the same time. You were here to pick a ring, engagement ring for your own self. Even though you were upset he didn’t surprise you, didn’t make the memories special, you were just happy that he cared enough. At the end of the day, things were never going the normal way when it came to Taeyong, and well, you too.
“I’m sorry for Taeyong’s behaviour, you can tell me what you need. I’ll make sure he’ll do it.”
“I need him to come over. The quicker the better. I need his sign on papers, nothing too serious.” electric wave ran through your body. Why did it sound suspicious.
“Can you be more specific?” you tried to be cheerful.
“His father’s will, he needs to sign the papers of him forfeiting the inheritance.”
“I never heard of it.” you looked at Taeyong that turned around to see your face.
“I’m not surprised. You’re not family, why would you hear anything about it?” you felt her venom spill even through the phone, making the sickness in your stomach rise up to your throat.
“Im not sure he’ll be able to come.” you swallowed before speaking “We’re currently picking an engagement ring for me. I’ll make sure he calls you when he’s free. Bye.” you hang up before she could talk back to you.
“Oh, I see my kind and cheerful girlfriend lost her temper after speaking to my mother for 2 minutes.” he chuckled and took his phone out of your hand. “Let’s go, the shop that I wanted to go to is there.” he pointed with his hand behind you, leaving a kiss on your forehead.
Taeyong’s palm grabbed yours, intertwining your fingers and walking you towards a jewellery shop that you hoped you’d walk past, but he moved his feet right in direction of the Tiffany&Co entrance.
“Taeyong? That’s expensive.” you whispered to him, when the woman behind the counter cheerfully greeted you two, ready to help you with anything. “Anything particular you’re looking for?”
“Yes, actually, we need an engagement ring.”
“We have them over here.” the girl showed with her hand to the other side of the shop, inviting you two to walk with her. Taeyong’s hand landed on your lower back, pushing you to walk, while you were blinded by all those diamonds glistening in the light of the display case.
The next hour went in haze, putting on every ring there was and looking at it on your finger felt surreal. It felt even more surreal when you accidentally saw the price tag of one of the rings, making the 5 digit price burn into your brain.
“Which one do you like more?” Taeyong seemed to have so much fun picking the ring, making you wonder why did he think he wouldn’t be able to do it himself.
“Taeyong…” You whispered and looked at the assistant. She gave you a light nod.
“I’ll give you a minute to decide.”
“Taeyong, this is all too expensive.” you whispered and looked him in the eyes.
“It’s fine. I want you to have the ring you like. Do you not like anything?” you sighed and looked back at the display. Of course you did like all of those rings, probably you even had your favourite, but it didn’t sit right with you. Living with him you obviously had money, but you never spent it excessively, neither did he. “If the problem is this store, let’s go to another one. Don’t think about those numbers, just show me the ring you like, okay?” his hand landed on your neck and he pulled you closer, pecking your temple.
“Which one did you like the most?” you asked him.
“This one.” he pointed at the golden ring with his finger. You smiled at his choice.
“Yeah, me too. But maybe this one’s better?” you pointed at the ring with a square diamond. “It’s cheaper too.” you sighed, looking back up at Taeyong. His eyes shifted to the assistant.
“Excuse me, we’ll take this one.” he pointed and she happily ran over to you.
“Perfect choice! 18k gold, the rope design is unique and the 1.75 carat diamond is just the perfect addition. Let’s ring you up.”
Taeyong put the bag with the ring into the front pocket of his hoody as if it was nothing. You walked to his car, not feeling like nausea is planning to leave you.
You closed your eyes, hoping that in 10 minute drive to your home you’d at least not throw up. You opened your eyes when you felt with your insides that he turned to the wrong side. You watched him drive away from where you were supposed to go for 5 minutes, making sure he wasn’t just taking the other road.
“Where are we going?”
“We need to pick up one thing and then we’ll go home.”
“Can you drive me home and then go? I’m not feeling well.”
“No, I promise it’s quick.”
“Taeyong, I can’t. Can you stop here, I’ll walk or call an Uber.”
“Why can’t you just do for once what I want you to?” he shouted, quickly realising what he did. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Just please, I need you to come with me, okay?” you looked at him, turning away the next second and closing your eyes in hopes of the ride to be quick.
It was only when Taeyong’s hand rubbed your shoulder, you realised you fell asleep, and realised where you were.
“Why we came here?” you asked confused.
“Let’s go.” he smiled and you weren’t sure you ever saw him smile like that.
_
I don't know if ya'll are upset with the way this jumped to the future, but I was kinda stuck and thought this might lead me to an ending. This fic been in my notes for a year now and I've been writing really slowly recently, but I'm ending it soon so yeah... hope you still like it ^^
#taeyong series#nct taeyong#nct drabbles#nct au#nct fluff#nct smut#Jaehyun smut#taeyong smut#taeyong#taeyong x you#taeyong x y/n#taeyong x reader#nct imagines#nct#Kpop fanfic#kpop imagines
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it’s crazy what you’ll do for a friend - nolan patrick
a/n: here’s a friends to lovers 4+1 with our fav boy loosely inspired by daddy issues by the neighbourhood. but there’s still a splash of smut because you know me lol. hope you enjoy :)
word count: 10.5k
The first time you met Nolan you didn’t know what to think. He was polite, giving you a gentle smile and reaching out to shake your hand, but you couldn’t help but fixate on how quiet he was and his seeming lack of emotion.
Regardless of your hesitation, that was the first time of many that Nolan took care of you.
You were new to Philadelphia, moving to continue your education and expand your horizons. You had always been one to play it safe, to stay in your comfort zone, but after having your heart broken and being unexpectedly accepted to one of the top graduate programs in your field you knew it was time to challenge yourself and leave behind everything you had ever known.
Well, almost everything, aside from Aubrey, one of your best friends since that first day of kindergarten so long ago. She worked in the city, practically begging you to join her when she found out you were considering the move. Just weeks later, the second bedroom in her apartment became yours and that’s how you met him.
~
one
It was only your third night in Philly and you were still unpacking, a glass of wine sitting on your dresser as you dug through the remaining boxes that were seemingly never-ending. It didn’t seem like this much stuff when you were packing it, but here you were overwhelmed with all of your belongings.
You were humming along to the music, taking it one box at a time as the room slowly came together when you heard a knock on your door.
“Come in,” you called, turning to face the door.
“Woah,” Aubrey muttered, “How’s it going in here?”
“I know, I know,” you laughed, “It looks bad but I’m almost there.”
She nodded, stepping into the room and sitting on your bed, “Time for a break?”
You knew what the hopeful smile on her face meant, she had plans for the two of you.
You looked at her with hesitant eyes and she chuckled, remembering how well you knew her.
“I was thinking we could go meet some of my friends?” Aubrey continued, “I’m kind of seeing this one guy and his friends are great. They’re a lot but I think you’ll love them and they’ll love you.”
“Aubrey, I-” You paused, “I really should finish up in here.”
“Come on, Y/N, we have all day tomorrow to finish and you need a break. I feel like I’ve barely even seen you and it’s been three days.”
You let out a laugh at her words, she was right. It felt like your life had been on hold for so long but now you had the opportunity to start fresh, to put yourself out there in a world that had no existing opinions of you.
“Fine,” you groaned, standing up from your spot on the hardwood, “But you have to help me find something to wear.”
“Deal!” Aubrey exclaimed, dragging you out of the room and into her own to go through her closet.
Just over an hour later, you were squeezed into a booth of the bar surrounded by men almost twice your size. Aubrey failed to mention that the guy she was seeing, but not dating as she vehemently claimed, was a Flyer and so were his friends.
You didn’t know what to expect from the group, but it didn’t take long for you to conclude that they were sweethearts, especially Travis, Aubrey’s “friend.” After introducing you to each of them, it felt like you had always been a part of the gang.
The beer and conversation were flowing, the bellowing laughs coming from the table practically feeling the air of the entire bar. You quickly fell into the banter, fitting in right away after growing up with brothers.
“There he is!” You suddenly heard Kevin shout from next to you, “Took you long enough, Patty.”
You looked up from your drink to see the man you could only assume to be Patty, his tall frame towering over you as you sat on the edge of the booth. He was dressed in all black, and his hair was long and frankly, unkempt as it curled around his ears. Even in the dim light of the bar, you could make out his light eyes, the blue piercing you as he finally met your gaze from his seat directly across from yours.
“Nolan, this is my friend Y/N,” Aubrey started, “She just moved in with me.”
Nolan reached out his hand across the table which you happily met, secretly hoping he couldn’t feel how clammy you had gotten since he walked in. He softly smiled as your hands touched, the corners of his mouth barely lifting but just enough.
“Nice to meet you,” he mumbled.
“You too,” you replied, flickering your eyes to the other end of the table before you caught yourself staring.
You were right away distracted by something Travis was chirping Claude for from this morning’s practice, but something about the man sitting just a few feet away from you was still consuming your thoughts.
You were pretty sure he had already decided that he didn’t like you. He had barely said a word aside from his initial pleasantries, but from then on it was almost like he wasn’t even acknowledging your presence. You didn’t know why you even cared, but there was something about his presence that made you on edge.
“I’m going to get another one,” you blurted out, everyone’s attention shifting to you.
“I’ll come with,” Aubrey declared.
“I’m good, stay,” you responded, giving her a knowing look. She was practically sitting in Travis’s lap, her hands wrapped around his neck while his eyes were stuck on her like she was the only one in the room. Not dating, my ass, you thought to yourself.
You slid off the cushion and headed towards the bar, the air already feeling lighter the further away from the group you got. You loved them, they were great, but it was just so much new at once. You needed a breather.
It was a packed Friday night and you knew it would be a while before you got your drink, so you sat down on the first available stool you saw. You caught the bartender's attention right away, but she was clearly swamped. You sent her a reassuring nod, telling her to take her time. She smiled right back at you, evidently grateful for your patience.
After what felt like barely a minute of waiting, you felt a body slide next to yours, the scent of cheap cologne overwhelming you as you braced yourself for what was about to happen.
“Hi there,” he spoke, leaning his weight against the bar top as he boxed you in.
“Hi,” you sighed. To put it simply, you were not in the mood.
“You got a name?”
“I do,” you chuckled in disbelief, turning your body away from his as your eyes scanned the room for anyone familiar. Which of course there wasn’t.
“A snappy one, alright,” he spoke, his hot breath fanning over your neck, “Well I’m Brett, what are you drinking?”
“Nothing,” you snapped.
“Oh c’mon, let me buy you a drink,” he continued, either not picking up on your hints or purposely ignoring them.
“I’m really all set.”
Just before he was about to open his mouth to speak once again, you felt his hand rest flat against your back, your body arching away from him immediately at the contact.
“Do not fucking touch her.”
The deep voice echoed in front of you, your vision clouded as your mind raced in a million directions.
“Listen, man, I got this.”
“No, I don’t think you do,” you heard, the vibrations of his voice running straight through your body.
Nolan.
You may have just met him, but that was a body and voice you couldn’t forget.
You had no idea what overcame you, but before you could process what you were doing you wrapped your arms around his torso. Nolan immediately reciprocated, his arm falling across your shoulders and pulling you close to his frame.
“Just leave,” Nolan asserted, “Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be. It’s already embarrassing enough that you can’t take no for an answer.”
Your body relaxed against his, Nolan’s words calming your worst fears right away. From your vantage point, you assumed Nolan easily had at least six inches and thirty pounds on him. That seemed to be enough for him, backing away with a faulty glare and disappearing into the crowd.
“Nolan, I-” you stuttered, not knowing what to say, “Thank you,” you finally got out, your voice barely loud enough to hear over the hum of voices.
“Don’t mention it,” he muttered, his aura still cold.
You were so caught up in the shock of the moment that you hadn’t realized you were still holding each other, and right away you dropped your arm from his waist. Nolan did the same, awkwardly moving to sit on the stool next to you and flag the bartender.
You missed the warmth of his body right away, the spicy scent of his skin in stark contrast to the Axe you could only assume the other one was wearing. You swore you could still feel the ripple of his abs beneath his t-shirt on your fingertips. It was silent for a minute, both of you trying to come up with the right words.
“I really can’t thank you enough. Let me buy this round,” you pleaded, your eyes locking with his.
“Y/N,” Nolan started, your face flushing as your name fell from his lips, “I’m buying.”
You smiled up at him, nodding before looking back down in hopes of hiding the flush you felt creeping up your neck and onto your cheeks.
“Can I be honest, Nolan?” You questioned.
“Shoot.”
“Do you not like me? Did I do something? I wasn’t expecting that from you of all people-” you rambled until Nolan cut you off.
“First of all, I would have done that even if I hated you. But no, I like you, Y/N. A friend of a friend of TK’s is a friend of mine.”
You laughed at the last part before you could even process the first. Nolan’s cheeks went red, clearly embarrassed at his cliché phrasing but it didn’t matter how badly he made a fool of himself as long as you were smiling. The way your eyes scrunched and your nose turned up while you laughed was enough to make him forget the day he had.
Your laughter was interrupted by your drinks, the woman leaving you with a knowing smile before she turned away. Nolan and you both stood up ready to head back to the table before he stopped you.
“Friends?” He asked, putting his hand out in front of himself.
“Friends,” you agreed with a grin, shaking his hand before walking back to the group together.
~
two
You dreaded first days.
No matter how old you got, the anxiety of walking into an unfamiliar room full of unfamiliar faces never lessened. But you were ready, you reminded yourself, putting your head up and walking to the classroom like you had been there a hundred times before.
By the time you were walking out after the 90 minutes were up, your heart was pounding and you could feel the tears pricking the back of your eyes as you ran out of the building, not even bothering to introduce yourself to anyone.
The walk from the university back to your apartment was a blur. You couldn’t believe you had made such a poor first impression. You thought you were prepared, you had your notebook ready and all the right textbooks in order, but you somehow missed that there was an assignment due on the very first day.
As you rushed through the busy streets of the city, dodging people left and right, your mind raced back to that room.
“Ms. Y/L/N, can you please give your thoughts on the first case study?” Your professor questioned, intently watching you as your panic set in.
Your heart began to race and your palms sweat as you struggled to find the words to say that you hadn’t done the reading. This had never happened to you before, you were an A+ student for your entire life, almost unhealthily so. You couldn’t remember the last time you had missed an assignment, it just wasn’t something you did.
“Alright, then. Anyone else who actually checked the syllabus have something to say?”
Your professor's words were stuck in your head, playing over and over again when you finally reached your building. Now that you were so close to being in the comfort of your own space you could feel your wheels spinning, the stress and emotion overtaking your body.
Your hands shook as you tried to unlock the door, your body pushing through the threshold when you finally got it open.
“Aubrey?” You called as you walked through the hallway. She had known you for so long and always knew what to do to calm you down. But instead of Aubrey’s bright voice welcoming you back, you were met with silence.
“Where are you?” You muttered under your breath, your voice shaking as the tears threatened to spill over any second. As you turned the corner into the living room, you found three bodies spread across the couch, none of whom belonged to Aubrey.
“Oh,” you sputtered out, surprised to see Travis, Kevin, and Nolan watching a game.
“Y/N!” Travis called out, his infectious smile almost making your tight-lipped frown fade, “Aubrey just ran out for something but she should be back soon.”
You could feel Nolan’s gaze burning into you. You did your best to avoid his eye contact in hopes of hiding your current state from him. He had been nothing but kind to you, but you still felt so exposed standing in front of him, suddenly insecure about your outfit.
“I’m just going to go,” you whispered, pointing down the hall to your room. You felt horrible just ignoring them like that, but you knew you didn’t have it in you to keep up with them right now.
Your bag fell out of your hands almost instantly as soon as the door to your room clicked shut, the sound of your laptop hitting the hardwood floor making you cringe. You collapsed on your bed face first, the emotion you had been holding back for what felt like forever overwhelming you. Your body wracked in sobs as you replayed your embarrassment in a seemingly endless loop.
Nolan knew something was wrong the second he saw you. He may have only met you just a few days ago, but after growing up with two sisters he recognized the signs right away. He had no idea what was wrong, but he did know that you were barely holding it together.
Your head snapped up when you heard a series of soft knocks on your door, “Aubrey?” You asked, your voice rising with hope.
“No, uh, it’s Nolan.”
Your face fell when you heard his deep voice through the wood. You barely knew Nolan, he couldn’t see you like this. You paused for a moment wondering if he would just leave if you didn’t respond, but you could see his shadow through the bottom crack of your door, his feet were planted and didn’t show any signs of moving any time soon.
You silently groaned and picked yourself up, not even bothering to look in the mirror before opening the door because you knew it was not going to a pretty sight regardless. You hastily wiped underneath your eyes, the black of your mascara flaking right off your tear-stained skin. This wasn’t exactly how you wanted the new boy in your life to see you right after meeting you, but you just were friends, right?
“What, Nolan?” You sighed when you finally opened the door.
You didn’t mean to be so stark, but it just came out. His presence overwhelmed you just like it had at the bar a few nights ago. He was leaning against the door frame with his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. The backward hat resting atop his head flattered him perfectly, drawing attention to the tufts of his brown hair curling around his ears and neck.
Nolan stood up straight as soon as he saw you, his eyes softening when his suspicions were confirmed: you had been crying.
“I just wanted to check on you,” he mumbled, his eyes never leaving your own.
The tension in your shoulders released as you looked up at him. He didn’t say anything else, just tilting his head down towards you as he continued to scan your face for any signs of how you were feeling. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something about Nolan that made you feel so safe, so secure, like as long as you were with him you could avoid your demons.
“I’m fine,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.
“No you’re not,” Nolan rebutted, raising his eyebrows as if he was challenging you to lie to him again.
You didn’t say anything, but rather you moved your body to the side and ushered him into your room. Nolan happily obliged, awkwardly standing as he took in his surroundings. Your room was just as he expected, it was minimal, just like his. You didn’t like clutter, everything had a place. It was one way you tried to control the chaos that was your life.
“You can sit,” you spoke, breaking the silence.
Nolan nodded and sat next to you at the foot of the bed. You couldn’t help but let your eyes trail along his leg, the way his thighs stretched the fabric of his sweatpants making your cheeks flush.
“It was my first day at this new program I’m in and it didn’t go well, that’s all,” you finally sputtered out, staring down at your lap as your hands fidgeted. “I’ve never been good at first impressions,” you added, a gentle laugh escaping your lip as you thought back to your first time meeting Nolan.
“Listen, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Nolan encouraged, “You seem like a pretty great person.”
You scoffed at his attempt to make you feel better, your emotions creeping their way back into your head.
“It was-” you paused, using every fiber within your being to try not to lose it in front of him, “It was bad.”
“C’mere,” Nolan whispered, turning on the bed to face you more and opening his arms, practically begging for your embrace.
You shook your head, closing your eyes as the fresh tears started burning. You were so selective in who you exposed your most vulnerable state to, and you barely knew Nolan. But despite this, you felt such an instant connection with him, and if his overt kindness was any indication, he felt the same way.
You let your final guard down, leaning back and curling into Nolan’s frame. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against him as one hand moved up to your head to rub soft circles into your hair.
“Go ahead and cry,” he hummed, his body gently rocking you back and forth.
You melted at his touch, your head nuzzling into the crook of his neck, the muted orange of his Flyers hoodie the last thing you saw before your eyes shut in sobs. His scent was overwhelming, the mix of his body wash and the leftover cologne lingering on his hoodie flooding your senses. You felt as if you disappeared in his grasp, like the world around you vanished and nothing else mattered.
You didn’t even know how much time had passed, but Nolan didn’t move an inch. He held you like it was the only thing he had to do all day. Once the tears stopped falling and your breathing steadied, you pulled back, instantly flooded with embarrassment.
“Wow,” you chuckled, wiping your cheeks, “I am so sorry, Nolan, I don’t know what happened I just-”
“Don’t,” he interrupted, “We’re friends, remember?” He teased, the corners of his mouth lifting in a gentle smile as he bumped your shoulder.
“Yeah,” you laughed.
“I think we were planning on grabbing some food,” Nolan mumbled, his hand scratching the back of his neck as he spoke, “If you want to come.”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“Come on, you’re coming. If I have to put up with those two out there so do you.”
You rolled your eyes, but it was the least you could do after what he had just done for you.
“Give me five minutes to look less dead.”
Nolan smiled as you agreed, slipping out of the room so you could change and freshen up.
“What the fuck was that?” Nolan was bombarded by Kevin as he sat back down.
“Nothing,” Nolan mumbled, not in the mood to be questioned about things he didn’t even know the answer to.
“She let you go in there?” Aubrey asked, just having gotten back.
“Yes?” He responded, confused by her question.
Aubrey didn’t bother getting into it and changed the subject instead, but inside she was scheming. She knew you, how closed off you were, but here you were opening up to Nolan like you’ve known him for years. Nothing made Aubrey happier than watching this friendship bloom, and she couldn’t help but wonder if there was potential for more.
~
three
Team galas usually didn’t bother Nolan, it was part of the job, but tonight it was the last place he wanted to be. His tux felt too tight, the stuffy conversation with potential sponsors was putting him to sleep, and his date was, to be frank, insufferable.
Nolan had no problem going to an event without a plus one, he and TK were usually the two single guys spending their time causing trouble, but now that Aubrey was in the picture Kevin had decided he had seen enough. So, despite Nolan begging him to leave him alone, Kevin set him up with one of his friends from Boston.
She was just as Kevin described, beautiful and smart, but that was about all. Nolan was calm and reserved, at least until he was comfortable with someone, but she was the complete opposite. Her personality filled the entire room and although he admired her confidence, Nolan was exhausted. He felt like he couldn’t be himself, like he had to work to match her energy.
After what felt like hours of entertaining her and Kevin, Nolan made his escape to the bar. It was the first moment to himself he had, the relief immediately flooding him as he leaned against the counter. He titled his glass to the bartender, silently requesting a refill when he felt his phone buzzing in the pocket of his suit pants.
Nolan begrudgingly pulled the phone, wondering who it could possibly be. The entire team was with him and it was unlike his family to call him on a Saturday night. But when he saw your name flashing across the screen, his whole demeanor shifted.
“Nolan!” He heard you exclaim, your voice like a breath of fresh air.
“Y/N?” He questioned. You had never called him out of the blue like this before. Nolan nodded to the bartender thanking him before taking his drink and walking out to the empty hallway so he could hear you better. “Everything okay?”
It wasn’t really. You had just come back home from a date, one Aubrey practically forced you to go on. You pleaded to her that you were fine, that you weren’t ready to start dating in the city yet, but regardless, you found yourself sitting across from one of her coworkers at a restaurant downtown.
There was nothing wrong with him, he was nice, but it was evident to you before your drinks were even ordered that this wasn’t going to work. You pushed through the meal, putting on your best fake smile and pretending to laugh at his forced humor. You politely declined his offer to walk you home, instead opting to get an Uber so you could get out of your dress as soon as possible.
Now you were home, your sweats on and hair up with a glass of wine in your hand. The glass quickly turned into almost the entire bottle, drowning your sorrows of another failed date with your favorite red. That’s when you made the mistake of picking up your phone, your fingers scrolling through your contacts until you found the one name you knew would be able to distract you.
“I’m great. I mean I’m not, but it’s fine,” you rambled, your words slurred as you spoke.
For once it was you mumbling and not Nolan. He didn’t know what, but his gut was telling him that something was wrong, he could practically smell the alcohol on your tongue through the phone. After a long pause of trying to figure out what to say, his thoughts were interrupted.
“Come over?” You whispered, “I’m so sick of being alone.”
Nolan’s heart dropped at your words, his eyes blinking shut as he pondered his next move. His eyes scanned the ballroom, finally landing on his date. She was sitting at their table, Nolan’s empty seat sticking out like a sore thumb, laughing at whatever story of his college days Kevin was regurgitating. He would feel like an ass if he just left, and he would be lying if he said the prospect of an easy lay hadn’t crossed his mind tonight, but you were more important.
“Give me twenty.”
-
Since calling Nolan you had migrated from your bed to the couch, a blanket sprawled across your body while you laid horizontal. The only light in the room was from the TV as one of your comfort movies played. You were barely paying attention, instead zoning out and staring at the lit-up city around you from the window.
Your mindless thoughts were interrupted by a series of knocks on the door. You threw the blanket off of your body and stood up, slowly dragging your feet across the hardwood as you made your way. But you were nowhere near prepared for what you saw as soon as you opened the door.
Nolan towered over you in the door frame. He was wearing a suit, the soft, grey fabric clinging to his thighs and shoulders perfectly. His long hair was slicked back and tucked behind his ears. The scent of his cologne overwhelmed you instantly, the warm aroma making you want to melt into him. One hand was resting in his pant pocket, while the other was carrying a take-out bag from one of your favorite spots.
“Hi,” Nolan quietly muttered, breaking the silence.
His deep voice broke the trance you were in, and that’s when the realization hit you.
“I completely forgot you guys had that thing tonight,” you blurted, the alcohol in your bloodstream clogging your train of thought, “I am so sorry. You have to go back, I feel horrible.”
Your hands came up to your face, hiding your embarrassment. How could you forget? You spent hours this morning helping Aubrey pick out her dress.
“Y/N,” Nolan cooed, his large hands gently pulling your own off of your face, “I’m here and I’m not leaving.”
Nolan didn’t let you get another word out before he was pushing past your body. He wasn’t even enjoying himself at the event and the last thing he wanted to do was go back.
It didn’t long for the two of you to finish the food, opting to head back to the couch and ignore the many empty containers for now.
“I’m never going on a date ever again,” you slurred, “I don’t even want to look at a man ever again.”
Despite trying to be quiet, Nolan couldn’t hide his chuckle. He had heard similar frustrations from his two sisters growing up. He had been around endless assholes throughout his life, he knew how exhausting it must have been to try to find a decent one.
“Can’t blame you,” he mumbled.
Your body slumped against the back of the couch, your eyes slipping shut as the wine and food started to lull you into a sleepy haze. Nolan scanned your face, a soft smile creeping onto his face as he watched your chest gently rise and fall with each breath. Before he could catch himself, he lifted his hand and pushed back the hair that had fallen in your face, tucking it behind your ear.
In that moment Nolan knew that he was fucked.
Never before had he dropped everything for a girl as he did for you tonight. But he also had never connected with someone like he did with you. You didn’t force him to be something he wasn’t, there was no pressure to put on an act. It just felt natural with you. But your words from just a few minutes before lingered in the back of his head. You made it clear that you weren’t looking for anything right now, it only took one miserable date to remind you of that. So Nolan pulled his hand away, trying to ignore the burning of your skin against his fingertips as they trailed across your soft cheek.
You were friends. Just friends.
-
You had no idea how much time had passed, but suddenly you felt yourself stir awake, your eyes peeling open to find yourself tucked into Nolan’s side. His body was warm below yours, his arm resting across your shoulders holding you in place as you lay against his chest. From your peripheral vision, you could see his suit jacket on one of the couch cushions, the soft material of his button-down rubbing on your cheek.
You had two options. You could either acknowledge that you awkwardly fell asleep on him in your drunken state, or you could pretend that you never woke up and continue to enjoy the comfort of his embrace.
Needless to say, you chose the latter.
But you must have dozed off again because the next time you woke up you were being carried into your bedroom. Your arms were wrapped tightly across Nolan’s neck, the tips of your fingers naturally lifting to twirl the tufts of his hair.
“Shhh, I got you,” Nolan whispered as he felt you move, just before he laid you down onto your bed, “I’ll be right back.”
Nolan hastily left the room, leaving you to bask in the memory of his warmth as your head fell back against your pillow. Within just a few seconds he was back, placing a cool glass of water on your nightstand table. But almost just as fast as he came back, he was leaving again.
“Stay,” you murmured, watching him pause at the outline of your door.
“I- I got the couch.”
“Okay,” you responded, trying to hide your disappointment.
Nolan visibly cringed the second your door was closed, his head falling to his lap once he sat down. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with you. The thought of holding you beneath the sheets and feeling your soft skin in contrast to his rough hands made him dizzy. But the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. You weren’t sober enough to say he could stay, and there was no chance in hell Nolan was going to risk scaring you off. So he took the couch, laying across the cushions with his eyes locked on your door until his eyelids gave in to his exhaustion.
~
four
It was finally Friday, another week in the books.
Your classes were taking more out of you than you had expected, the hours of reading and note-taking blending together as you finally closed your last tab. You had no plans for the night, and you honestly couldn’t be happier about it. A hot shower, takeout, and falling asleep early encompassed your perfect night recently.
Just as you were about to get in the shower, you were distracted by your phone ringing. You picked it up, surprised to see it was Kevin calling.
“Hi, Kevin,” you spoke, a slight edge to your words. You adored Kevin, he was an absolute sweetheart, but sometimes you just didn’t have the patience.
“What are you doing tonight?”
You rolled your eyes at his question, “Nothing.”
“Incorrect, you’re coming over and hanging out with me and Pat.”
“I am?” You laughed, taken aback by Kevin’s forwardness.
“Teeks and Aubrey are coming too, come on, Y/N,” he continued.
You knew you weren’t getting out of this without a real excuse, no matter how much you wanted to stay in. You hadn’t seen Nolan since the night you embarrassed yourself, the cringe of drunk dialing him after a bad date had yet to escape your memory.
“What time?”
“Uh- Let’s say 7.”
“Alright, Kev. See you later,” you hung up the phone, throwing it back on your bed before getting in the shower.
-
As you approached the boys’ apartment door, it was quieter than you expected it to be. Aubrey said she was already with Travis and would meet you there, so you were arriving alone. You assumed they would already have been there by now, but you ignored the silence and knocked on the door.
Just a few seconds later, the door swung open and you were face to face with Nolan. Your eyes widened when you saw him, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and his bare torso staring at you. You quickly composed yourself, using every ounce of self-control within you to avoid trailing your gaze across his broad shoulders and down his chest, the curves and divots of his abs making your mouth water.
“Sorry,” Nolan mumbled, his cheeks flushing even redder than they usually were, “I thought you were Kevin, he always forgets his keys. Come in.”
You followed Nolan into the apartment, the muscles of his back rippling as his arms swung. You sat down on the couch, awkwardly waiting while he disappeared into his room. He came back just a few seconds later, his body now hidden behind a wrinkly t-shirt.
“Where is everyone?” You questioned, your body stiff as Nolan relaxed into the cushion next to you.
“Not sure,” he mumbled, the red of his cheeks lingering, “Kev said you were coming with Aubrey?”
Your face scrunched in confusion, “He told me she was coming here with Travis.”
Nolan then pulled his phone out and started typing a message to Kevin, desperate to figure out where he was. For some reason being here with you alone was making him nervous, there was an awkward energy in the air that had never been there before.
Nolan was reaching for the TV remote, about to ask you if you wanted to put something on when his phone sounded.
Kevin: You’re welcome
Now it was Nolan’s turn to furrow his eyebrows, the boy even more confused by Kevin’s message.
Kevin: We couldn’t watch you two anymore please just do something
Kevin: I’ll be out all night
Kevin: Don’t forget protection!
Of course. Of course, this little miscommunication was, in fact, a setup. But the worst part was that Nolan knew Kevin was right. No matter how hard he tried, he had been pining over you since that very first night. And now here you two were in an empty apartment with enough sexual tension to last the year.
“No one’s coming, are they?” You broke the silence, snapping Nolan out of his trance.
He threw his phone to the side as a slight smile crept across his stern face, “Nope,” he chuckled.
If you thought there was tension before, it didn’t even compare to what you felt now. Since meeting Nolan you were under the impression that your secretly harbored feelings for him were just that, a secret, but apparently, you weren’t as subtle as you thought. This had Aubrey written all over it, and you knew Travis was under her spell and would do anything to help her, and bonus points for chirping Nolan simultaneously. It was the elephant in the room, your mutual feelings still not being spoken but you both knew you had been called out by the people who knew you best.
“What are you thinking about?” Nolan whispered, the rough hum of his voice sending chills down your spine.
You couldn’t get even a single word out, your thoughts and feelings jumbling in your mind. After all this time the perfect opportunity was finally handed to you on a silver platter, but you still couldn’t do it.
Nolan could sense your hesitation, your close proximity and sweet scent clouding his consciousness.
“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking about,” he murmured, turning his body so he was facing you.
Your eyes had yet to leave your lap, your focus stuck on the rip of your jeans. You jumped when you felt his warm touch on your lower thigh, the warmth of his calloused hands making your heart rate rise even though the thick denim. His size was intoxicating and he made you feel like putty as he leaned closer to you.
“Y/N,” Nolan mumbled, his voice deeper than ever before.
You finally lifted your gaze, turning your head up to look at him. His baby blue eyes were piercing yours, the contact lighting a fire within you. Every reasonable thought in your head was telling you to pull away, to grab your bag and politely excuse yourself. You weren’t ready for a relationship, you had barely put yourself back together after your last heartbreak and Philly was supposed to be different. But as you sat here, your face just inches away from Nolan’s, you gave in to your desire.
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you connected your lips with his, immediately sighing in relief as his soft pout worked perfectly against you. You hastily swung your hips over and seated yourself on Nolan’s lap, an eager groan escaping him when your body rolled into his. His hands splayed across your hips, moving to circle your ass as he helped you grind deeper into his already hardening length.
Nolan trailed his lips down your jaw, nibbling and sucking on the plane of your neck. You knew he was leaving marks, but in the moment you couldn’t care less, the euphoria of his touch being the only comprehensive feeling.
“Please,” you whined, tightening your grip on his long locks, “Nolan.”
You couldn’t remember the last time someone had ignited you as Nolan had. He had barely even touched you and you were nearly certain you had already soaked through your panties, withering in his lap desperate for more.
“Now she has something to say,” Nolan teased, whispering into the shell of your ear. He gave you no warning before he was standing up, holding the back of your legs as you instinctually wrapped them around his waist.
Nolan gently tossed you on his bed, pausing to pull his shirt off before he was climbing on top of you. You were in a state of bliss, finally able to admire his frame shamelessly and without fear of getting caught. He continued to attack your neck, leaving mark after mark behind in his wake. You whimpered impatiently as his lips worked your sensitive skin, but Nolan was set on taking his time. He didn’t know if he would ever have you like this again and he was going to savor every second of it.
But you decided to take matters into your own hands, pushing his frame off of yours and pulling your sweater over your head. You grabbed Nolan’s face again, cupping both of his cheeks as your lips met again. He made quick work of your bra, unclasping it with ease behind your back and tossing it across the room.
“Fuck, you’re stunning,” he groaned, pausing to take you in. Your hair was splayed across the pillow, your cheeks flushed while your chest heaved up and down with heavy breathing. His praise went straight to your core, clenching around nothing as you grew more and more desperate for him.
Nolan wasted no more time, finally making his way down your torso before reaching the hem of your pants. His fingertips slowly ran beneath the fabric, stopping only to look up at you. Your eyes locked and you frantically nodded, understanding that he was waiting for your permission before continuing.
“Words, Y/N,” Nolan hummed into your thigh, his order gentle but firm.
“Yes,” you breathed out, “Fuck, yes.”
Nolan did as you said, unzipping your jeans and sliding them down your legs. He almost lost his balance on the mattress when he saw you laying before him, the pink lace resting across your hips being the only thing keeping him from you. Nolan settled himself between your legs, hooking both of them over his shoulders as his hot breath fanned over your pussy.
Nolan placed a soft kiss to your lace-covered clit, basking in your reaction as you let out an embarrassingly loud moan and your hands flew to his head, tangling in his hair. Your hips jerked up into the air, desperate for more friction. Nolan laid his thick forearm across your waist, his weight halting all of your movements and holding you at his mercy.
“Nolan, please just fuck me,” you begged, the suspense too much to handle as you felt yourself drip down the crease of your thigh.
“All in good time, baby,” he cooed, pulling your panties to the side and finally connecting with your throbbing pussy.
You cried out as his tongue flicked your clit back and forth, the pleasure only magnifying when he sucked it between his teeth. Your hands were locked with an iron grip in the roots of his hair, holding on like your life depended on it. Nolan hummed against your core as he continued to taste you, the vibrations of his voice sending shockwaves through your body.
Suddenly Nolan pulled back, but before you could protest you heard ripping. A gasp left your lips when you realized what he had done, the mangled lace of your panties now laying on his floor. You wanted to yell at him, complain that those were your favorite, but before you could get a word out he was back at work, this time fucking his tongue in and out of you.
Your head fell back against the pillow, your mouth opening in a silent scream when you felt him slide two fingers inside while his mouth circled your clit again. Nolan curled his fingers against your sweet spot and you knew you were done for, your back arching off the mattress as you combusted with your orgasm.
Nolan milked you through your high, his tongue flattening against your clit as his head shook and his fingers kept their pace. He finally slowed down as he felt you come down, pulling back to watch you shake as the last waves of pleasure rolled through your body. He slipped his fingers out of your fluttering pussy, only to bring them to his mouth and suck your juices clean.
“You’re really good at that,” you stammered, just now coming back to your senses after almost blacking out.
Nolan laughed, kissing his way back up your body until you two were face to face again. You couldn’t resist pulling him down and crashing your lips against his, moaning into his mouth as you tasted yourself on his tongue.
“I’m good at other things too,” he smirked, tucking your hair behind your ear, just as he had done last week, except this time he didn’t have to hide it. The soft action made your heart flutter, but his words made something else flutter.
“Give me your best, Patrick,” you challenged.
“Your wish is my command, baby.”
Nolan pushed off his arms and stood up, hurriedly stripping himself of his sweats and boxers in one fell swoop. A whimper escaped your lips when you heard the sound of his cock slapping against his stomach, your pupils dilated as your eyes trailed down his thighs admiring his tattoos.
Reaching across you to get a condom from his nightstand, Nolan was surprised when you plucked it right from his hand. You tore open the foil and slowly rolled the condom onto him, a small smile spreading across your face when his hips buckled into your hand at your touch.
You may have been embarrassingly weak for him, but he was just as weak for you.
Nolan shifted on the bed so he was hovering over your body, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth. Your lips moved in sync with one another, the pure lust filling the room dictating every movement. He felt you grow more and more impatient, your body stirring beneath his as he finally pulled away.
Taking one last look at you spread out before him, waiting for him to touch you, Nolan directed his attention back to between your legs. He locked eyes with you before collecting the salvia in his mouth, harshly spitting on your pussy. The moan you let out was only amplified when he started teasing you even more, dragging the head of his cock through your soaking folds.
“Nolan,” you whined, the last letter of his name prolonged as you begged, your entire body tensing while he tapped your already so sensitive clit.
“Shhh,” he cooed, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles against your hip, “Got to make sure you’re ready for me.”
Before you could get in another word of protest, Nolan was pushing one of your legs into your chest and sliding inside. Your mouth fell open as he slowly bottomed out, the sensation of him filling you paralyzing. A string of deep swears left his lips as he felt you already clenching around him.
After letting you adjust, Nolan started rocking his hips, quickly finding his rhythm. You didn’t have a single thought in your head, the way he hit your sweet spot inside and ground against your clit making you dizzy.
Nolan had never been in such bliss. He could never have imagined how good you would feel wrapped around him, your walls still pulsating from your first high as he slid in and out. The way your name sounded falling from his lips was pure ecstasy, his innate possessiveness in full drive. Your nails dug into his back, dragging burning lines into his skin that he knew he would be tormented about tomorrow in the locker room but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the way your bodies fit together in perfect harmony right this moment.
You could feel yourself growing close within mere minutes, Nolan’s relentless thrusts giving you no mercy. He could tell you were almost there by the way you were fluttering around him, along with the mindless sounds of pleasure escaping your lips getting louder and louder.
“That’s it,” Nolan encouraged in your ear, “Cum for me, Y/N.”
Between his hot breath against your tingling skin and his plunging thrusts, Nolan had you seeing stars.
“Nolan, Nolan,” you whined.
You swore you almost blacked out, your vision going blank as he fucked you through your high. He wasn’t far behind you, the clenching of your pussy egging him on until he finally let go, his hips stuttering and groans filling the air as his head fell into the crook of your neck.
“Fuck,” Nolan sighed, letting his heart rate steady as he laid above you, resting the majority of his weight on his forearms.
“Yeah,” you responded with a breathy laugh, your mind still blank as you came down.
Nolan stayed there for a few minutes before finally sitting up, cringing as you whimpered when he pulled out. Your eyes slipped shut, but you could hear him shifting around the room. After pulling on a pair of fresh boxers and dampening a towel, Nolan gently cleaned you up, biting back a smirk each time you shivered at his touch. He disappeared again, this time returning with a shirt in hand, urging you to sit up so he could help you pull the soft fabric over your head.
You had every intention of getting dressed and leaving, but you just couldn’t find the energy to remove yourself from his warm bed. The sheets that smelled like him enveloped you, and now his t-shirt was draped over your shoulders begging you to stay. Nolan slid next to you, his body cradling yours from behind as he wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you impossibly close.
“Sleep well, Y/N,” Nolan hummed into your neck as he settled in.
“Goodnight,” you managed to get out, the shame of what you had just done starting to spiral in your head.
You made a mistake. Nolan was good, so good, and he deserved more than you could give him. Your last relationship ended in disaster, leaving you broken and abandoning the idea of finding love ever again. Regardless of what you told your friends and family, it was what drove you from home. Then came Nolan, he was the definition of kind. Even when he barely knew you he did whatever he could to protect you. That kind of guy deserves someone who’s got it together, not whatever mess you were. You couldn’t believe you let your attraction to him get the best of you, and now here you were, pressed against his sleeping frame as he held you.
Everything inside of you was telling you to leave. It was too much, the eventual pain of whatever this was ending was overwhelming. You could hear Nolan snoring behind you, the sound of his contentment almost bringing tears to your eyes. Gently lifting his arm from its spot across your waist, you slid from underneath his grasp. It was nearly impossible to find your clothes in the dark, but you managed to do so without making too much noise. Nolan didn’t even stir as you moved around him, folding the shirt he gave you and placing it on the nightstand.
Just as you reached for the door, you felt yourself pause. Don’t do it, Y/N. Don’t do it. But you couldn’t resist, slowly turning to take in what you were leaving behind.
Nolan was passed out, his body leaning towards the pillow where you once laid your head and his arm laying flat as if he was still holding you. You could make out the redness of his cheeks in the dim light, his eyelashes curling down onto his cheeks. Your heart broke as you looked at him, but you knew it was what you had to do. He deserved the world, which was much more than you were able to give him. Without giving it another second of thought, you opened the door as quietly as possible and made your escape.
~
+ one
It had been over three weeks since you last spoke to Nolan.
You couldn’t handle facing him just yet, so you did what you knew best: shutting out the people that cared about you the most. You ignored every single one of his calls and texts, eventually muting his number when it became too much. You replayed what you imagined he looked and felt like that morning, waking up to a cold, empty bed. It was heartbreaking, but you stayed firm in your decision. As long as you didn’t have to see his face you would be fine.
But of course, Aubrey had different plans for you.
Since that night, you had been more distant from her than ever before. You left the apartment early in the morning, spending your day in class and bouncing between different coffee shops while working. You kept up appearances when you returned in the evening, saying hello and asking her how her day was, but practically nothing else. You made an early exit to your room, citing homework or lack of sleep as your excuse. But she knew you better than anyone else, it was no secret something was wrong. Much to your content, you could only assume that Nolan was keeping your secret as well, knowing that if he told anyone on the team you would be getting an earful from her.
But Aubrey had decided that she was done letting you sulk about whatever it was you were so clearly upset by. The Flyers had been away for almost two weeks and tonight was their first game back home. Thanks to Travis, she had two tickets in hand ready for the two of you.
Before you had even shut the apartment door behind you after arriving home, she was jumping up to greet you.
“Hey!” Aubrey exclaimed as you walked in, “We’re going out tonight.”
You just stared at her confused, knowing damn well you had no intention of going anywhere. “Hey,” you started, “I- I don’t think so, I have a lot to do.”
“No, you don’t. Listen, I don’t know what is going on with you but I’m sick of watching you wallow in whatever it is. I’ve barely talked to you in almost a month, you’re coming with me,” Aubrey snapped. If there was one thing about having such an old friend it was that she always gave it to you straight.
“Where?” You begrudgingly inquired.
“Nope, it’s a surprise,” she answered. If her inkling was correct, whatever had you in this funk had something to do with a certain Flyers centerman and she was not risking you ditching because of it.
“Fine,” you groaned.
It wasn’t news to you that you had been a horrible friend recently. Despite the anxiety that came with breaking your current routine, maybe a night with Aubrey was just what you needed to take your mind off everything.
-
A few hours had passed, and you were sitting in the back of an Uber watching the city pass you by. Aubrey maintained the anonymity of the destination, ignoring all of your pleas for even just a hint. But there were some things that she couldn’t control.
Your stomach dropped when you saw where the car was heading towards, the large Wells Fargo Center plastered on the side of the building cluing you in. Of course, you thought, how could you not have known. You had so strictly blocked Nolan and the entire team from your mind that didn’t think to look at their schedule, but now it all made sense.
“Aubrey, no,” you stated, your voice already shaking as you got closer and closer.
“What the hell happened?” she snapped back, finally getting confirmation that your funk was related to Nolan.
“Nothing, nothing happened. I just don’t want to go,” you rebutted, “I’m not in the mood to see everyone, okay?”
“You don’t have to, we’re sitting alone,” she responded, turning her phone on and showing you the location of the tickets. As she promised, they were nowhere near the family boxes.
You didn’t say anything else, instead choosing silence as the car pulled up to the entrance. You both thanked the driver before quickly exiting, a long, awkward silence falling over the two of you as you entered the arena.
You could do this, you told yourself while adjusting in your seat. You could sit through one game, you didn’t even have to see or talk to anyone. If it would make Aubrey happy, you could suck it up and sit down. The two of you had still barely said a word to each other since arriving, and you could see the disappointment on her face. Deciding it was time to get over it, you put your arm around Aubrey, smiling as you instantly felt her relax and place her head on your shoulder. Neither of you said anything, but after knowing each other for so long, you didn’t have to. She knew what you meant.
-
You didn’t know what to expect, but the second you saw Nolan step onto the ice you were flooded with emotion. He looked tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping much or well, and your heart dropped at the thought that you may have been the reason why. You still were firm in your decision to avoid anything serious right now, but you knew you went about it in the completely wrong way. Nolan was the closest thing you had ever met to an angel, but you treated him like a random one night stand from the bar you barely knew. The guilt had overtaken you over the past few weeks, and seeing him in the flesh wasn’t helping.
It was a relatively uneventful game, the rebuilding Red Wings visiting and not giving the Flyers much of a fight. By the third period they were up 4-0, one of which was scored by number 19 himself. As the horn sounded signaling the end of the game, Aubrey turned to you.
“I was going to go see Travis,” she hesitated, “Do you want to come? Or I can meet you right after?”
“I’ll wait for you,” you encouraged.
Aubrey thanked you, squeezing your hand before getting up and heading downstairs. Instead of going to the main concourse to wait, you stayed in your seat, waiting for the crowds to clear out before you moved. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you started mindlessly scrolling as a distraction.
But your distraction didn’t last for long.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Your eyes slipped shut when you heard his voice, that same voice that left you weak in the knees. You immediately felt your heart begin to race and your palms sweat. You felt caught. After taking a moment to pause, you finally mustered up the courage to look up at him.
Nolan’s eyes were focused on your own, his hair slicked back and soaking wet still with sweat. He had definitely not showered yet, between the fact that the game just ended minutes ago and his appearance. He was dressed in his undergarments and slides, clearly he wasted no time before coming up here to find you.
“How did you even know I was here?” you questioned back, already feeling yourself on the defense.
“Really?” Nolan scoffed, “Travis told me. How else would I have known? It’s not like you talk to me.” He trailed off, his words becoming quieter.
“Nolan, please,” you pleaded, “Please sit down.”
There was no doubt in your mind that it was time for you to come clean. You could see the pain in his eyes and the hurt behind his voice. He obliged, sinking to sit in the seat beside you, but he didn’t turn to face you. His coldness was evident, and you knew that you deserved nothing else.
“I’m sorry,” you began, “I’m so sorry, Nolan. I- I shouldn’t have left like that, with no explanation-”
“I thought I had you,” he interrupted, “Finally, Y/N, after all those weeks of tiptoeing around it, I thought we were done pretending.”
You could feel the tears burning behind your irises, and it was taking everything within you not to let them out. Nolan’s words broke you, even more than you were already broken.
“Nolan, I wanted- I want,” you corrected yourself, “Nothing more than to give myself to you, but I- I just can’t. I’m not ready.”
“Then why did you sleep with me?” his voice cracked, “And what does that even mean, ‘you’re not ready’?”
“I can’t let myself get hurt again, okay? I can’t do it,” you sighed, finally succumbing to your emotion, “I am so sorry for dragging you into my mess, but I can’t let myself go through that again. And you deserve so much better.”
Your head fell to your hands, hiding your face from him as you cried. Even just speaking out loud your last heartbreak made you a wreck. Deep down you knew Nolan wasn’t capable of hurting you like that, but you wouldn’t let him take care of you anymore. You couldn’t. He deserved someone who didn’t need to be taken care of.
“Y/N,” Nolan hummed, gently placing a hand on your back. He cringed when you jumped at his touch. “Y/N, look at me, please.”
You did as he asked, your red, puffy eyes lifting to meet his baby blues, putting you at ease almost right away.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Nolan murmured, “I don’t know what you think, but you’re not a burden. You’re the complete opposite and I want to show you that. If you’ll let me.” He paused, his eyes frantically scanning your face for any sign of your reaction. You were staring ahead of you, entranced with the ice below as you processed his words. Despite knowing how much it could potentially hurt, Nolan said what he thought he had to, “Even if it’s just as friends, but you can’t disappear on me again.”
You made Nolan feel at peace, like when he was with you nothing else mattered. But no matter how strong his feelings were, he cared for you enough to put them aside if that’s what it took to keep you in his life.
“I don't want to be friends,” you whispered, finally breaking the silence.
As if there was some kind of magnifying force between the two of you, your body lunged towards Nolan’s, your lips crashing together instantly. He was stunned, his body frozen in shock, but within seconds he melted against your touch with one hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your hair. It felt like time stopped in that moment, the only thing making you pull away was the lack of air.
You were both breathless, your foreheads resting against one another. Nolan took both of your hands in his, intertwining his much larger fingers with yours.
“I trust you,” you breathed out.
The grin that spread on Nolan’s face was like nothing you had ever seen before. You matched him right away, smiling as you watched the pure joy and relief wash over. The same joy and relief that you were feeling.
“Does this mean I finally get to take you out?” he asked, his deep mumble making you feel right at home again.
“Maybe,” you teased, “Only if you shower,” you added, pretending to push him off of you.
Nolan couldn’t help but fall into a fit of laughter at your subtle jab. That’s what he loved about you most, the way you could earn a smile or chuckle out of him like no one else.
He stood up from his seat, extending his hand out as he stared down at you. Without even a crumb of doubt creeping its way into your mind, you took his hand. Wrapping your arms around Nolan’s and resting your head against his shoulder, you walked out and into the hallway together.
Nolan leaned down and pressed a gentle peck to your forehead, and for the first time in longer than you could remember, you felt untouchable.
~
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