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effielumiere · 19 days

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steps to you

pairing: non-idol!dino x gn!reader

prompt: soulmate au series. 8/13

word count: 3.2k

warnings: some slight negative feelings toward chan's friends (born from his own frustrations w finding his soulmate). food mentions.

daisy’s notes: one day ill finish these haha sorry for taking so long

summary: Chan has seen the footsteps before. He knows you’re just within reach. And yet every single time, something happens to stop him from running after you…

For the past month, Chan had been listening to Mingyu... essentially gloat about finding his soulmate. And while most days, Chan didn't know if you still exist... he knew that you did once.

When Chan was eleven, he went on a trip abroad with his family--although whether this was the country you were from or the country you, too, serendipitously were visiting... he would never know for sure. All he knew was that the city he was in was busy, leading him to stick closer to his mom most of the time. Either his family would stick to public transportation, or they'd get a cab back to their hotel, or they'd walk... But he found himself feeling this subtle pull to watch the busy sidewalks. He always hoped that it would be like magic, that he would see you and yell at the bus driver to stop the car, or rush out of the car to find you. That one of those days he was on this trip, he would find you and the two of you could become friends despite a probable time zone difference.

Instead, he saw bright red footprints down the sidewalk one day. At first, he thought it must have been some sort of street art. He tugged at his mom's hand, pointing them out. "What are those for?"

His mother had furrowed her brow, staring at the ground. "What are you talking about?" She'd said, a bit gentle as she looked from the ground back to his face. A moment later, she tested the waters, "Do you see something?"

Chan's curious smile had fallen, and he looked back to see that the steps were beginning to fade. "They're... not there anymore--"

"Chan," she said firmly. "What do you see?"

He told her: red footprints, each fading away within the second. Wordlessly, she took his hand, already pulling him in the direction without saying anything to his father--who'd been more preoccupied with figuring out their next stop with Junggeon standing close to him.

Chan furrowed his brow as she pushed through the crowd. "Mom?"

"Do you still see them?"

He did. He told her so, and she held onto his hand tighter as she shoved her way forward, a woman with a mission unclear to him. Those steps turned orange, and then yellow...

And then they trailed off onto a bus that lurched forward the moment Chan had told his mom that. She tore forward, yelling out for the bus to stop, only for the two to watch it disappear down the street. His mother's grasp on his hand loosened, and she pulled him over to the nearest bench--situated under a bus stop, shielded from any possible rain--and sat down.

It was on that trip that Chan learned two things: one, that he did have a soulmate (a question he'd been wondering considering he had no sign before; and a relief to his mother, who had worried her son might have to go through the world while dealing with the gross judgment of others for not having one), and that he'd just missed you. She frowned to herself, mumbling something about how she should have just grabbed him and gone the moment he mentioned seeing them. She'd spent hours looking up the signs that weren't obvious from the beginning, just in case this day came...

Her phone rang, and it was his dad. Yet when she saw the upset look on Chan's face, she said she'd circled back to the little candy shop she'd seen up the street. That they would talk when they met back up, and that she would get something for him and Chan's brother as well. She'd bought them a large bag of caramels to share, and Chan remembered the sweet flavor as it melted away on his tongue as he walked back to his dad, hand-in-hand with his mother through the crowd.

He'd just missed you. You were right there, and he missed the opportunity to meet you. To be your friend (and maybe something more, one day: he was eleven, he knew the way most soulmates ended).

When people asked now what his life plans were, he'd always let out this pensive hum before answering. A job that let him travel. Sometimes it'd earn him some kind of judgmental remark about his soulmate, about when he would settle down, but Chan knew he'd have to find you again. That he would need some way to do it, and a job that permit him to travel would help. Hopefully his path would cross with yours one day, and he could tell you the story of how he barely missed you when the two of you were kids.

And he hoped that you would laugh, and that one day the two of you could go back to that city and buy a bag of caramels to share.

Years later, and now he lived in the city with a stable job that... unfortunately didn't allow for him to travel. He'd tried that route, but nothing seemed to stick well, and he settled for a job that would make him money instead. A job that could permit him to travel when he could and look for you. Except he hadn't gotten that far: he was still saving up some. Although he did check the message boards people had made for people like him: missed connections at any point in a life. Maybe you saw the footprints, too, and missed your chance. Maybe you dreamed of meeting him again...

At least. That was how he felt months ago when those marks started showing up again. He'd been on his way home with groceries one of those days, and he saw them. His phone had rang when he was about to follow them, paper bags in arms, to hear Yeonjun complaining about how long he was taking. He was making ramen now, he needed those eggs now, Chan had said he'd be back within twenty minutes and now it was nearing forty (most of that had been due to the store being busy, in Chan's defense)...

And all at once, your trail had disappeared into thin air, and Chan had huffed in anger. He made his way home, carefully shoving the eggs into Yeonjun's arms, and shut himself into his room to stew for a bit. How close had he been this time? Closer than last time, that was for sure. What if you were only visiting Seoul? What if he missed his chance again?

He felt his stomach drop. He couldn't be alone now. All too soon, he returned to where Yeonjun was now eating.

"I thought you were going to pout--"

"I missed the chance to meet my soulmate."

Yeonjun fumbled with him chopsticks, looking up at Chan's face, as though searching for some evidence that he was joking. "You should have said that," he said a moment later. "Tell me to shut up next time and keep looking."

Chan buried in his face in his hands, letting out a sign. "What if there's not a next time?"

"Then go now." He shrugged. "They're in the city--"

"That doesn't help!"

Yeonjun sighed, glancing back up from his ramen. "I know, but... You should keep looking until you know they're not here anymore."

So Chan would. Every spare moment he had, he'd wander the city on foot, no matter how exhausted it would leave him. He found excuses to go out every chance he got, hoping that maybe you'd look up and you'd see him or the steps that followed him, and you'd chase him down. For days, these attempts left him soulmate-less.

Except it happened again, just a few weeks after Mingyu found his soulmate. He'd been in a coffee shop, talking to Yeri about something stupid, when he saw the steps again. He didn't see you, unfortunately, because he'd only noticed them when the bright purple had begun to fade into indigo. He'd shot up, apologizing to her with the promise he'd explain later (he didn't have to: she'd heard through the grapevine that Chan was on a hunt for his soulmate), and took off running. He'd called out for whoever to wait, hoping that maybe it'd stop you long enough for him to find you. To at least know what you look like, so that he can stop you next time.

The steps disappeared into the subway, and he followed them as far as he could before they disappeared with the next train. You'd been running. Chan had known the feeling: he'd made dashes before to get on a train, managing to only board at the last second. He slumped against the nearest wall, burying his face in his hands again. Fuck. Fuck! Why was it always him? Why the fuck did it always turn out that he would keep missing his soulmate by seconds? Seungkwan didn't have to deal with this. Vernon's soulmate turned out to be his friend, and they were happily together. Even fucking Mingyu met his soulmate by accident. The frustration had built higher and higher, and Chan felt his breath catch in his throat as he fought back the urge to cry. How many more times would he keep missing you? None of his posts ever went answered on those 'missed connections' boards--just other people in his shoes that were wishing him good luck with the search...

He ended up texting Yeri that he'd meet up with her another time. She merely offered her condolences, and a hopeful 'you'll get them next time!' that he knew was her trying to be supportive. He went home, and collapsed onto his bed, wondering if there was anything he could have done better. It wasn't as though he could outrun a train and be waiting at the next station for you.

He sighed, shutting his eyes as his phone lit up. It was Jeonghan this time.

Heard you missed them again. Do you want to get dinner? I'll pay.

And with another sigh, he sat up, agreeing to it with ease. At least he could talk about it with Jeonghan. Maybe that would make him feel better.

Chan had listened to the way Mingyu talked about his soulmate with this undying adoration. He talked about how sweet they were, despite the words that were still inked into his bicep with one of the most obvious signs a person could get. Even now, most of his friends doubted him when he said he had a soulmate. He'd never been able to explain his sign well enough to them ("I see steps leading to them," was always met with a "Why didn't you run, then?" in some shape or form). That wasn't to say all of them doubted him: Jeonghan believed him, as did most of his older friends. Mingyu was one of those that seemed to doubt him at times, but Chan knew it was all in good faith. Mingyu knew Chan, and he knew how he wouldn't really rest until he found his soulmate. Maybe that was what the others thought, too: Chan would have found his soulmate by now because he was persistent. He wouldn't wait. He wouldn't hesitate.

Persistence only got him so far, though. It felt like the universe was trying it's fucking hardest to keep him from actually meeting his soulmate. Yet he knew that a tiny part of it was his own fault: he could yell. He could stop people. Aside from the one time, he never did--even when he saw the trail of steps leading to you a week ago. He'd given up the chase that time, suddenly more afraid than he had been before as those steps turned from blue to green to yellow as he grew closer.

What if... What if you didn't like him? What if you were angry with him for taking so long? Or... What if you had avoided him? There was a chance you'd never seen any signs of him, but what if you had? The anxiety of it all swirled and choked him up, and he ended up calling Seungkwan and Vernon that night before going over to their place for reassurance that it was all in his head. He'd lied before to the others, saying some bullshit about how he wanted to meet you on his own terms. What did that even mean? He wasn't sure.

He parted ways with Mingyu and a few other friends that night, making his way to his bus stop. What color were his own steps? Did something impact that, like his mood? He wondered if there were people like him and Minghao mixed into one, where the steps matched a mood in some way. Chan let out a sigh, tucking his hands into his pockets as he pushed his earbuds in and turned on a playlist for his commute. Maybe he'd take a trip home to see his parents soon. Geon's already met his soulmate, apparently, and he'd been talking about bringing her home to meet them. He sounded smitten with her already. Despite the bitterness Chan felt at his own baby brother finding his soulmate first, he wondered if he would speak of you the same way.

He saw that in his friends, too. Seungkwan was fully in love with his partner, and Chan heard it in the way he'd make the subtle comment that he was picking up more band-aids for the clumsy love of his life. He was thinking about moving in with them once his lease was up, leaving Vernon to suggest that maybe his own soulmate could move down the hall if they felt like it (plus it meant he'd finally be a cat dad again--a prospect that made his friend's eyes light up with joy). Jihoon and his soulmate were doing well, considering he let his soulmate hang out in his studio whenever they felt like it. Joshua, too: he'd always get this stupid, sappy smile on his face whenever his soulmate was singing. Minghao was fully thriving after he met his soulmate, already showing off things they'd painted together while on a date, or the way he'd color-coordinated their outfits now that he could fully see it all...

What about him? What about the others? Seungcheol wanted to meet his soulmate so badly now, and Chan knew that everyone else meeting their soulmates had to bother him a little. Jeonghan seemed fully at ease, though, as though there was something he wasn't telling them. What about Jun, who said he could taste his soulmate's cravings on the back of his tongue? Or even Seokmin and Soonyoung, the lone two without soulmates now? He saw the way Seokmin yearned for one, maybe more than Seungcheol did because at least Seungcheol knew he had one out there. Seokmin had no signs, and yet he smiled happily for everyone else when they talked about meeting their soulmates. And Soonyoung... Chan never could get into his head. He acted fine, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Soonyoung was hiding how he felt. Chan would, too, if it were him, just to pretend he was fine.

He felt a hand curl around his bicep, yanking to turn him around and out of his thoughts all too easily. He pulled an earbud out, about to say something when the guy pointed back at someone who was running.

"My friend--"

Yet he heard you as you stopped for a moment, staring at him. "You!"

You'd been panting, trying to catch your breath for a moment. He looked to your friend, who sheepishly said something about how he was the faster of the two of you--something about winning bronze in a track thing a few years ago. When you finally approached, he teased you over it: you would have met your soulmate by now if you had just taken him with you--

"Jangjun," you pouted, and he laughed warmly before excusing himself to give the two of you a moment. With him gone, you turned back to Chan, suddenly a little more flustered than before. "Hi."

He felt the same way, though. He felt that pull again, and he knew. "Hi."

You opened your mouth, only to close it, glancing back to where your friend had gone. Then you turned back to face him. "... Sorry about him," you said after a moment, visibly flustered from the way you kept rocking on your heels, gaze never quite settling on Chan. "We're--He's--I..." Then you finally looked at Chan again, taking in the sight of him before you. You gave him your name instead, and then paused. "I... Fuck, you're the guy who's been posting on those boards, aren't you?"

Chan furrowed his brow. "You saw them?"

"No! No, I--I didn't. One of my friends did. Bomin kept saying something about how it'd be sweet if it was you, and that it probably wasn't a coincidence that the places you saw me were lining up with where I'd been... But, I dunno. I just didn't believe him." You hugged yourself. "I just... I guess I got scared over meeting you."

"So why did you?" He paused, realizing how harsh that sounded. "Not that it's bad! I--I just--I meant to say--"

"Jangjun." You nodded back toward him. "He said this would be the best moment to." You gestured vaguely around to the lack of people around. The street wasn't empty by any means, but it was far quieter than every time he'd seen you before. "And... I guess I felt ready."

"I almost met you once." He blurted out, and then felt his face grow warmer. "When--When I was a kid. We were in the same city, and--and you got on a bus. I never saw you, but..." He paused, pulling out his phone as he quickly began to search for something. No confectioneries nearby...

"But?"

But there was a convenience store not far from here that sold caramel. The mass-produced kind, but it was enough for now. "Do you... Do you wanna hear the story?" Chan looked back up, turning his phone to you. "This place has seating outside..."

You again looked back to where your friend had gone, and then reached for your phone.

Right. Chan was a stranger to you, which meant you probably didn't want to be alone with him. "Sorry, you don't have to--"

"Let me tell Jangjun where I'm going, okay? He'll probably just wait around since we live close to each other."

Chan felt his face warm again. "Are... Are you sure? You don't have to--"

"I want to." You looked back up from your phone, eyes twinkling. "I wanna hear this story."

Chan found himself smiling. Within the hour, he'd be sitting across from you, listening to you laugh warmly at how many times you just missed one another. The bag of caramels sat open between the two of you, and Chan already felt himself growing a little enamored with you. He'd court you right from here on out, with a real first date somewhere nice...

But for now, Chan decided to savor the sweetness of your laugh over the caramels he was sharing with you.

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