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delldarling · 3 years

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bearberry bargain | pyre

male arctic fox shifter x gender/body neutral reader 10,261 words lemon | older shifter, knotting, oral, penetrative sex, no choking but there is throat touching, tricks and bargains, getting lost note: this was the Story of the Month for December 2020 over on my Patreon! It is loosely tied into the same world as my dragon fellow Arroven, but reading Arroven’s story first is most definitely not required.

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The tundra is a gorgeous, but unforgiving landscape. You can hear the words on repeat in your head, clear as a twice damned bell. Worse than that, you can see Bristle, the orc woman that had served as your guide out here, in your mind's eye saying the words as she gestured to the fog drenched terrain. And The Mirrored Teeth are a little more dangerous than most. In the rain, or like now, in the fog, the stone spires gleam. They are beautiful, and all too easy to mistake for a far off porch light, or street lamp—but that isn’t what’s truly dangerous out here.

Bristle’s partner, a curly haired satyr by name of Rhim, with coins jingling in his carefully coiffed beard, had then stepped up to speak. Unfortunately, The Mirrored Teeth weren’t named for the teeth-like spires alone. The mirroring, or in this case, echoing, is the real danger. Voices carry strangely out here when the fog is thick, and if someone is lost? Our first instinct is to travel towards a light, or someone shouting. Whether the voices are our own, bouncing back to us from the spires or the mountains, or they’re the product of a still-living magical area?

They’d both spoken in unison then, smiling at each other with the ease of familiarity: Don’t follow the voices.

Each person in the tour group had been given a small token after their list of safety precautions, to serve as a tracker in case someone was separated. One person had asked if it was likely to get lost, and Bristle had snorted before she’d adopted her tour guide voice again. To come out here in the first place, everyone had been asked to sign a waiver because, inevitably, someone did end up wandering away. They followed voices that sounded like loved ones from past or present. They followed voices that sounded like themselves, calling out warnings. It was generally why people ended up taking the tour in the first place, listening eagerly for a voice they’d long since thought lost, or some kind of warning from their future self, so compelling and entrancing that they must be the product of magic. Most, though not all, of the people were generally found. Overtired and aching from sleeping on the ground out in the cold, but otherwise unharmed. Whatever caused the voices, magic or not, didn’t seem to hurt people, only leave them confused.

A few of the others currently with the group had come out for more academic reasons. Art and science in most cases, but otherwise those going on the tour were magic chasers, looking to record the fog voice phenomena for further study.

You might not have come out here with a recorder, but you can’t exactly deny that magic chaser applies to you as well. Claims of The Mirrored Teeth holding tangible residual magic are terribly rampant. You’ve wanted to witness it for yourself, to hear the voices, or feel the soft ache of magical energy on your skin, just the once. You’ve wanted… Well, it’s hard sometimes, not to want to feel the call of magic.

“And look where it’s led you,” you mutter, searching your pockets for the hundredth time. You know you won’t find the token, that you must have lost it when you slipped on some slick moss about an hour ago, but you can’t stop yourself now. It’s like trying to leave a loose thread alone once nervous fingers have found it. You keep reaching for the token, keep trying to find it, even though you know nothing you do will help any longer. You don’t recognize any of the surrounding terrain.

When you’d started out with the tour group, there hadn’t been anything but fog and the scrubby ground, hardened by a hidden layer of permafrost. You’d seen pictures of the teeth-like spires, but hadn’t been able to spot any when you first arrived. Now, every time you turn around it feels like you’re surrounded by the damned things. They radiate a soft glow, magnified further by the heavy mist and from far off? They look just like the teeth they’re named for. “Done in by moss,” you add, straining your eyes to see further through the fog. ”Not even by the voices!” Which, frankly, was disappointing. Not that you wanted to be lost in the first place, but hearing some of the voices the Mirrored Teeth are known for would have at least given you a better reason. An expected reason to be lost or wandering away from the group. Instead you’d simply slipped, brushed off a handful of withered greenery and pebbles, and had gotten back to your feet to find yourself alone.

You’d shouted yourself hoarse after the first half hour, calling out for Bristle and Rhim, staying in the same place, or assuming you’d stayed in the same place. You’d bent to find the token again, but even that had apparently been too much movement. Every time you lifted your head to look away from the ground, there was a different bit of flora springing up in front of you—and then you’d nearly smacked yourself head first into one of the spires, none of which are clearly marked on the map you have of the surrounding area. There’s always too much mist to plot them.

“Bristle! Rhim?” You call out again, cupping your hands around your mouth, not knowing if you should even hope for some kind of answer. What if they don’t answer because of the echoes? What if that’s the reason they’ve yet to answer in the first place?

The soft crack of a branch makes you whirl, throat growing tight when you spot the shadow of three figures through the fog. They straighten up, huffing, and the fog slowly spins away, shadows coalescing and revealing an older man shouldering a pack that he’s clearly just dug up from the ground. For a moment, he’s silent, staring, hand clenching tight at his pack as his eyes rove over your face. His gaze dips to your feet and lifts quickly back to your face before he wipes the surprise from his expression. “I hoped I was mistaken,” he grouses in a soft voice, tossing his head to get his ragged mane of salt and pepper hair out of his eyes. “But ‘lo, a human. Those tours are getting earlier and earlier every year, aren’t they?” He sighs, not asking like he expects an answer, but more like he’s just making an unpleasant statement. For half a second you have a retort on your lips, but the longer you stare, the more words vanish from your vocabulary.

The man has clearly tried to tame his ragged hair, weaving it into a messy, short braid that’s just long enough to hang over his right shoulder. There are earrings hanging from his right earlobe, dangly things that clink softly while he brushes impatiently at the dirt on his knees. His jacket, once a lovely heather gray, and obviously a match to a long lost suit, is patched and worn in multiple places. His jeans are nothing to write home about either, with frayed hems and patched knees. He has silvery stubble on his cheeks, and crows feet at the corners of his copper eyes, and—and a long tail, like a bottlebrush, fur standing on end. Until he sees that you’re watching. The tail vanishes behind his legs and your eyes zero in on his sharp nailed fingers, the backs of his knuckles covered with pale, soft looking hair. He grimaces, baring razor edged teeth, and promptly makes to stride past you, not even bothering to wait for you to get out of the way. He draws a rough breath as soon as he bumps into you, flinching away from actually knocking you to the ground, but it’s near enough to set your temper stoking.

Frankly? His manners are atrocious. But you’re also lost somewhere out in the tundra, and even if he doesn’t know where your tour is, he knows of them. You wrestle your temper into staying silent and rush after him.

“Wait! Hey, wait up,” you ask, ignoring the thrill that runs through you when you snag hold of his jacket sleeve and his tail bristles again. He’s not just hiding a tail either. His feet look more like great canine paws, which means—

The man whirls, and you spot two furred ears hidden under his uneven hair before he yanks his arm away from you, breathing far too fast. “Surely you know better than to grab at a shifter?” He hisses, leaning in close to your face. For half a second, he’s close enough for you to feel warmth radiating off of his body, but then his nostrils flare and his voice grows quiet. “Or are you from one of those backwater humans only villages in the East?”

“I’m—I’m sorry for grabbing you,” you blurt, mildly startled by his proximity to your face. “And while yes, that wasn’t a smart idea, I’m lost out here. Would it have been smarter of me to let you leave me in the dust before I asked for directions?” You take a slow step back, though you don’t let your eyes drop from his. You’re not going to take your eyes off of him for even a second if it means the fog is going to swallow him up and leave you all on your lonesome again.

The shifter narrows his copper eyes, highlighting the faint wrinkles in his brown skin. “Lost, you said?” He straightens, and keeps staring, eerily still. His frown only grows more pronounced when you nod your head. “You’re three days out from where the tours start. How long have you been lost?”

“Three days,” you repeat, uncomprehending. For another few seconds, the words don’t make any kind of sense. You’ve been separated from your group, according to your watch, for just over an hour. When you glance at the timepiece, only another handful of minutes have passed, but not enough time to even come close to explaining three days worth of travel. Your pulse is already racing, but it’s beginning to grow past the point of discomfort and into painful territory with how hard your heart is working. How the hell are you supposed to get back? “That’s not possible,” you breathe.

He doesn’t soften, but for a few moments he doesn’t look quite so irritated. “If you heard anything at all on that tour, then I’m sure you know it is possible. Residual magic, yes? It can do quite a bit more than just throw voices like a puppeteer.” He shifts his weight, like he’s ready to leave the moment you give him a chance.

“I’ve been lost for an hour,” you say, hoping that will spell out exactly how ridiculous you find his claims. “And I did my best to stay in one place. I’ve barely even begun to walk anywhere, and I didn’t—didn’t feel anything magical.”

“Isn’t it terribly rare to feel anything magical?” He asks, only gently mocking. “So few people even notice when something magical has happened to them. Now, it sounds as if the fog leapfrogged you through space,” he adds, wrinkling his nose. “Or did those green guides of yours not mention that something like this might happen?” He waits, but when you don’t immediately answer, the shifter sighs again, shakes his head and pivots, heading back into the still-swirling fog, ready to leave you behind.

You make another desperate grab for his sleeve, thankful that he only grimaces when he turns back to face you again. “In fact, yes, they did forget to mention! If you happen to have a satellite phone, or maybe-”

The shifter laughs and your grip on his sleeve grows slack. He’s rather handsome when he smiles, and looks like some kind of down-on-his-luck musician, dreaming of his glory days. You hastily let go of his sleeve, before he decides to yank himself away a second time. “Me? Ol’ Pyre, wandering about the tundra with a satellite phone?” He lifts his bag, clumps of dirt still falling from it. “I’m coming out this way to spend the winter in my other skin, and generally? Foxes have no use for phones.” He lifts his chin, scenting the air, and then nods his head in the direction behind you. “Head that way and the fog is likely to lead you right back.”

“Likely or certain?” You press, scowling. “Because there’s a rather large difference between those two options, and I’m not going to risk myself on likely.”

Pyre huffs out a sharp edged: “Which do you think?” before he registers the way your hands are starting to shake with nerves. His mouth opens, and then snaps shut. For a long moment he’s quiet, gritting his teeth, eyebrows furrowed. “You’re not prepared for more than an evening trek through the tundra, are you? Enough food for a snack and dinner round a campfire before they herd you back?”

A small wave of relief loosens your shoulders. If he’s asking, then surely he’s not going to turn tail and leave you all by your lonesome? You start to smile, ready and willing to ask for further help, but Pyre turns away with a quiet curse.

“Pitiful idiots,” he says, glancing up at the sky, even though he can’t see anything but the vague hint of daylight through the thick fog. “Three days. And leaving would be akin to murder.” He bares his teeth, still looking up for a few seconds longer before he turns a sharp look your way, fingers curling and uncurling at his side. “I’ll lead you as far as the Slavering river. If you stick to that and keep yourself from wandering off into the fog again, you’ll certainly make it close enough for those idiot guides to find you.”

Slavering, the river is called, Bristle’s voice picks up in your head again, because they once thought the tundra a hungry thing, with teeth besides. She’d gestured to the West, though none of the group had been able to spot or hear the roar of the water yet. It had just been another wall of fog over hard earth and low growing shrubs. We’ll end our hike there.

You offer Pyre your hand, still worried about the trek, still ill at ease with what the fog has done, but feeling decidedly less panicked. Residual magic my ass. As soon as I’m back, the guides are going to expand that little safety speech of theirs.

“Thank you, really. I appreciate it. If I hadn’t—”

“Save your breath for the walk,” Pyre mutters and fully ignores your outstretched hand, skirting around you in a wide arch so he won’t risk touching you accidentally. He doesn’t get more than a few paces away though before he’s turning to look at you over his shoulder. “And keep up. If the fog decides to deposit you somewhere else, there aren’t many other helpful shifters wandering about the area.” He saunters off ahead, trusting you to make your own way, but the fur on his tail doesn’t lay flat until you’re jogging to catch up with him.

“Are there dangerous shifters then?” You risk asking, thankful for your heavy coat and the weight of your own pack. Bristle and Rhim hadn’t mentioned any shifters in the area at all, but then they also hadn’t told any of you that the residual magic might move you without your knowledge. Perhaps they would have, if you’d been allowed to stick around, but it feels like a glaring oversight, now that you’re all the way out here. Maybe this is why they make everyone sign the waiver. Not because of some idiotic, siren-like voices, but because of magical fog.

Pyre’s ears twitch, visible for only a split second through his hair. “Don’t wander off,” is all he chooses to add before he falls silent, doing his best to stay several steps ahead of you to discourage speech.

“That’s encouraging,” you mutter, and his ears twitch again, but he doesn’t respond. The walk to the Slavering is going to feel like a very long one from the looks of it, and it isn’t just because everything looks much the same no matter which way you turn. You shove your hands deep in your coat pockets, watching the middle of Pyre’s back, and do your best not to unconsciously search for the lost token. You already know your pockets are still empty.

————-　🦊　————-

Despite Pyre’s desire for absolute silence, he mutters about things without thinking. He comments quietly on a hare speeding away when a noise startles you. He grabs up handfuls of wild berries off of the scrubby bushes you pass, promptly dropping any that are too spoiled to be edible. He flicks some of them away with soft, but mocking farewells until he recalls that you’re not far behind him, listening to everything he says. Pyre’s threadbare shoulders always rise with embarrassment, but after the third time it happens and he remembers you’re there, he sighs, shaking off his chagrin. He pauses just long enough to grab your arm and slap some of the berries into your open palm, doing his best not to meet your eyes.

When he speaks, he keeps his eyes on your fingers, touch careful and tense. “Eat those if you’re feeling peckish, or save them for this evening and you can boil them down into tea. Don’t dive into any of your stores if you can until sometime tomorrow.”

“What about you?” You ask, noticing that he’s barely kept any at all for himself. A berry or two slips away, rolling off of your hand and dropping to the ground.

Pyre arches a brow, closing your hand around the berries so no more can fall before he takes a step back. “I’ll be hunting as soon as I leave you by the river. I’m more than well equipped to look after myself out here. A few berries won’t make much of a difference.”

“Is this a regular thing for you then? Coming out here to the tundra once a month for shifting?”

“For the winter,” Pyre corrects in a sour tone, and then turns back to his chosen path again. “Coming out to the tundra isn’t a regular thing for you though, is it? Or was it just the magic that left you so frightened?”

The berries he’s given you are small and gleaming red, and you don’t much care for his continued irritable attitude. You pop three into your mouth while you ignore him, expecting it to be, at the worst, bitter. Instead it’s dry. You make a noise of distaste, which makes Pyre glance back again. He stops, confused for all of two seconds before his eyes widen and he chokes on his laugh. The sour twist of your mouth is clue enough. “Definitely not a regular traveling spot,” he states. “Unfamiliar with bearberries?”

“I hope that isn’t what they taste like when they’re boiled,” you mumble, doing your best to refrain from scrubbing at your tongue. “And no, the tundra isn’t really a prime vacation spot for me or most anyone else. The draw of lingering, tangible magic is a little too much for some people to ignore though. Maybe not everyone, but some of us.”

Pyre hums, tail raising when he hops over a strange looking crack in the earth. “Feeling a call?” He asks, voice far too even to be pleasant.

That’s a personal question in most places, and Pyre has already quietly mocked your interest in magic once. He does seem the type to poke at uncomfortable topics though, to try and get a rise out of someone. His tail is still bristled out as well, quietly hinting that he’s not in a pleasant mood. “Is that why you come out here during the winter? I don’t hear much about other shifters vanishing for an entire season, fox or not.”

“The only call I’ll ever feel is the one to shift,” he grumps, but he does smack his lips and slow down for a moment, letting you keep pace. “I make bad decisions,” Pyre finally adds, as if that clarifies anything at all.

“All the time? Or-”

“Smartass.”

“That wasn’t even hard, are you really going to fault me for that one?” You wait, patiently, but no answer is forthcoming, and then he rushes forward a few steps ahead. “I’ll take that as a yes?” You call out, but Pyre just keeps walking, like he’s reached the end of his tolerance for speaking politely with another living being. “Well, that was nice while it lasted,” you mumble, frowning when you spot his shaking shoulders. He’s—he’s laughing. Maybe he isn’t suffering from lack of manners entirely, but instead has been too long out of practice.

“Not all the time,” Pyre calls back when he trusts his rasp of a voice not to betray his amusement. “Just a fourth of it.”

For the season, he’d said. You snort and don’t even try to hold back a smile when Pyre tilts his head to look at you. His head immediately snaps forward and he shakes it, as if to ward off an unhappy thought. He’s grumpy because... he’s awkward and shy? The last of your fear, still borne aloft by the way he’s spoken thus far, by his quiet mutter of akin to murder eases immeasurably. You follow after him now in less strained silence, a bit more confident now that you’ll make it back to the tour group in one piece.

————-　🦊　————-

Your confidence lasts until early evening, when visibility is becoming a huge issue for you. No matter how well you might see in the dark, the fog feels like it’s pressing in on you from all sides. Pyre hasn’t slowed by much, but then you see the pale, rapid swish of his tail, moving so fast it looks for a moment like he has more and then you recall that he’s a shifter. His eyesight, as well as his sense of smell, are by far better than your own. He might be able to keep going well into the night, but—You grunt, catching your toe on a white rock the height of your ankle. Before you can fall, or do much more than exclaim in quiet pain, Pyre has his hands on your shoulders, keeping you up and steady.

“It’s dark,” he says quietly, by way of apology. “We’ll stop for the night just up ahead. Can you make it?”

“Without tripping over rocks or falling on my face, you mean?” You breathe in, and promptly swallow. He smells a bit like fresh campfire smoke and the faint citrusy scent of the bearberries and he’s entirely too close. You don’t necessarily want him to move away though, not with the darkness growing thick around you. “Probably not,” you admit quietly.

Pyre hums, breathing in slowly, and the sound is terribly intimate. “...you need a hand?”

“Unless you’d rather I trip and skin my knees and palms in the dark? Yes.”

“Humans,” Pyre says, amused, and clucks his tongue as he takes hold of your wrist, turning away to continue on and pull you after him. He only pauses when you try to tug your hand away.

“You can hold my hand instead of towing me along like a kid at the fair. I don’t even have sticky fingers.” You turn your hand, thankful when he lets you adjust his hold. His fingernails, thicker due to his shifting nature, dig a little too hard into the side of your hand before he reflexes his grip.

He pauses, tense, even though his palm is a soothing warmth against yours. “Not sticky,” he finally agrees. Pyre hesitates, like he wants to say more, but a low, strange voice calls out something from far off. As soon as you hear it, the voice has it’s hooks in you. Your entire body grows tense, hair prickling, listening as hard as you can to try to make out the words. “No,” Pyre says in a low growl, trying to interrupt your concentration. He’s only barely louder than the voice. “Don’t listen. It’s all too easy to-”

“That sounds like—”

“It sounds like nothing that matters. Even if you know the voice, it doesn’t matter.” Pyre grunts when you turn your head, trying to follow the fading voice with your ear alone. He rips his hand out of yours so he can take hold of your face, pulling you close until you’re nearly nose to nose with him, thumbs on your cheekbones, fingernails scratching gently behind your ears. “Right now, the only thing that matters is making camp for the night. We’re heading this way and you are not going to go looking for that voice in the dark.”

You suck down a fierce breath, closing your eyes as the last of the echoing voice fades away. As soon as it’s gone, your shoulders start to slump, and you feel strangely hollow. “That is why they make us sign that waiver?” You ask, opening your eyes to find Pyre still terribly close, his hands still cradling your face.

For a moment, he lingers, breath warm against your lips, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes deepening the longer he stares at you up close. The bright copper of his eyes is muted in the darkness, but the white in his hair, in his eyebrows, stands out brilliantly, and you think there might be more of it now than there was earlier this afternoon. “I knew you’d be a bad decision,” he whispers, and inexplicably, you think he might be about to kiss you. Your heart begins to gallop around your chest, your hands lifting to grasp at his wrists, his own still on your face—and then Pyre pulls away, dragging his nails over your skin. He tangles his fingers with yours and leads you quietly through the dark.

You’re not sure whether you should ask about his other bad decisions again… But you desperately want to.

Putting together the camp is a chilly affair at best. The shelter you help Pyre fumble through in the dark, though of course he has no trouble navigating the process, is little more than a heavy tarp tied securely between two of the tall, white teeth. There isn’t much wind, but now the mist is heavy enough to dot your eyelashes and bead along your sleeves. You don’t quite believe Pyre when he says he can get a fire going, forcing you to sit next to the small ring of stones he’s gathered. “There’s a copse of trees not far from here,” he explains, tilting his head to your right, though you can’t see anything through the fog, and especially not in the dark. “And I’ll be able to scrounge up enough for a fire.”

You want to ask him if he’ll be able to find his way back to you. If he thinks you’ll be safe sitting here on your own, especially after the voice from earlier. Voicing your concerns feels a bit too much like an invitation for bad luck though, and you still don't know Pyre very well. He might be helping you out of the goodness of his heart, but he's already dubbed you a bad decision. You're not sure you want to push things. “Won’t the wood be wet?” You ask instead, chafing your hands together to stir up a little bit of heat.

“No fear of shifters,” Pyre scoffs, straightening up and pulling his bag off of his back. “No screaming at strangers when you're lost in the foggy tundra, but you're worried about damp firewood?" You scowl, knowing full well he can see your expression. That surprises a rough sounding laugh out of him. "I may choose to spend my winter as a fox, but that doesn't mean I don't turn back into a man when spring comes." Pyre brandishes a small box, a tin filled with what sounds like matches. He rattles them about for emphasis. “Charmed matches are a necessity out here, not optional. Even if the wood is damp, they’ll catch well enough to last us the night.”

Charmed matches aren’t exactly common. A package of them, when used only in dire situations, should last someone a score of years at least, and as the spells to make them are some of the few guarantees of still working magic… They cost a pretty penny. “...should you be wasting them on me when I’m supposed to find the tour guides tomorrow?”

Pyre shakes the box at you, silently insisting you take it from his hand. When you take it from him, there’s more hair, more fur on his fingers than there was earlier in the day. You wonder if it’s a conscious change to help stave off the chill, or if it’s simply too close to when he shifts. “We need some way to boil a bit of water for bearberry tea, don’t we? Unless you’d rather eat them plain.” He sounds like he’s smiling, but the dark is getting more oppressive and you can’t see it. Pyre’s tone turns a little more serious, a little more apologetic as he continues: “And using them seems to keep away the voices, so yes. As I’ve taken responsibility for your safety—”

“Responsibility,” you murmur, arching a brow, but you can’t exactly disagree.

“—I’ll do exactly as I said. You’ll get to the Slavering, and I’ll even give you a match as a gift. You can make a torch as you head back and the voices should leave you be.”

You don’t shake the tin of them, knowing that they’re valuable, but you stroke your finger over the top, following the raised patterns of letters. “Will they work, even if they’re unlit?”

Pyre waits, and you don’t know whether he’s reluctant to give you an answer or he doesn’t actually know. “Are you worried about me going to grab the firewood?”

Well, it was kind of ridiculous, trying to hide your nervousness from him anyway. You’re lost in the tundra with someone you don’t know. No matter how resilient you are, it’s going to be nerve wracking. “I’ve never felt quite as strange as when I heard that voice, even with you pulling me back from it…” You stop, a frown growing on your lips. “But the voice didn’t do anything to you. You had no problem telling me not to listen to it.”

Pyre crouches, his knees popping, and groans quietly, rubbing at the patch just under his left kneecap. You can see his hands, pale fur the only spot of brightness in the night. “They don’t much affect shifters. We’re…. We’re already rather full of magic ourselves, even if it isn’t the kind one can use by uttering spells or mixing ingredients in a pot. Whatever the reason, the voices don’t seem to like magic. So a box of those matches?” He reaches out to tap on the tin with one long nail. “It should keep you from falling prey for the few moments it will take me to gather wood. I still wouldn’t get up though, then you might risk dropping it.”

You don’t know everything about the tundra, even with what research you did before you came on the trip, and the talk of magic here? It’s still something people want to study. One of the ones that came with a recorder would probably be thrilled to hear this much about the place from… Pyre might not be a year-round local, but he knows quite a bit. If he can hold off his shifting, maybe you’ll ask him to talk to one of them. “I’ll be safe,” you say, extrapolating, “as long as I stay sitting here. You’ll be able to find me again?”

“...I’ll be able to follow your scent, yes,” he admits, like he expects you to be irritated with the thought. Far, far away, another voice echoes, much fainter than the one you’d heard before. It doesn’t sound pained or panicked though, it sounds a bit like—Pyre takes your fingers, almost crushing them around the tin box in your hands. The voice vanishes. “You’ll be safe,” Pyre repeats, and a breeze whisks through the area, catching at his wild grey and white hair.

“Then get the wood,” you say, before you lose your nerve. “I’ll wait.” Pyre’s hand, still curled tightly around your fingers, eases. He brushes his thumb over the valleys between your knuckles and then pulls away.

“A few moments only. I promise,” he whispers, and then his canine-like feet are scuffing through the hard dirt and lichen covered rocks.

As soon as he’s gone, you soothe yourself by running your fingers over the tin of matches, trying to figure out what words are written along the top in fine, curling letters. There are too many loops though and when you do your best to try and focus on it, bringing it up close to your face, all you can see is that places on the tin have been worn down. Whatever it might say, the color on the tin won’t help you figure it out. It feels like only seconds, but another noise echoes in the darkness, your heart jumping back into overdrive. You clutch at the matchbox, but then Pyre is stepping out of the heavy fog, dropping a heaving armful of twisted branches and thick tangles of what looks like weeds.

“Moments, I thought you said! What was that, 30 seconds?” You ask, trying to calm your racing heart.

Pyre laughs. “I think you were just lost in thought, hm? It’s easy to lose track of time in the dark.” He kneels at the ring of rocks, cursing, even though you can’t hear any popping in his limbs this time. “Now, give me the matches and let’s get things a bit warmer, hm?”

You hand them over, and then get to work. You feel more than see Pyre’s surprise when you start picking up the branches and weeds. “I may be human, but I can help do a bit of work. It’s the last I can do after you helping me like this, what with your shifting getting close.”

“Noticed that, did you?” He asks, tin creaking as he opens and closes the lid. You glance over, but other than his pale fur, you can’t make out what he’s actually doing. A second later and he’s striking one of the charmed matches over a rough rock, and then it blazes merrily in a bit of fire smaller than a penny. “I won’t be a danger. I’m old enough to keep my wits. My… I should warn you, my breed of shifting isn’t always so pretty as others though.”

“Is that why you come out here?”

“One of many reasons,” Pyre mutters and holds the match to the wood in the fire pit. The match doesn’t burn down immediately though, or even catch the weeds when he touches it to them. Pyre deposits it carefully in the exact middle of arrangement, planting it almost like a seedling in the wood and weeds. Only after he removes his hand does the match start to spark, and then fire twists open like a blooming flower. It’s gorgeous. You lift your eyes to Pyre, awe clear in your gaze, and then you have to blink. He’s still the older man you saw this afternoon. He still has a mostly human face, but his arms look longer now, and his copper eyes flash strangely in the firelight. He glances at you, and you see that his mouth has grown wider, the edges either curling back towards his cheekbones or… Or his jaws are elongating. “Frightened?” He asks, and then you realize that you’ve been staring.

“Mildly startled,” you correct, refusing to look away. Whether he’s a pretty kind of shifter or not, you can still see him in his eyes and the way he holds himself.

He chuffs, and the noise warms something deep in your chest. “Smartass,” he says, sounding very fond. “I’ll make some of that tea now then, if you’d like it.”

“Bearberry tea,” you muse, reaching in your pocket for the rest of the berries he’d given you. Pyre unearths a small cooking pot from his bag, as well as an earthenware mug, glazed some kind of deep green. He hands you the mug and then holds out the pot, nodding his head when you lift your berry filled hand over it. It takes longer than you would like. Pyre has to mash the berries down and then he surprises you by standing and tugging at the tarp edge of your shelter. Water, mist really, beaded so heavily along the taut plastic that there’s enough to fill the pot near to overflowing. It’s much more than you would have thought, but Pyre seems unsurprised, even though you’ve both been relatively dry since he started building the fire.

“Alright,” you finally say, watching Pyre stir the faintly pink water with a metal spoon from his bag. “You mentioned bad decisions, and I’m not wise enough to leave it well alone. What are all these ‘bad decisions’ that drive you out into the tundra for an entire season? And, I can’t not clarify, were they flings?”

Pyre stares at you, eyes gleaming in the firelight, his too wide jaw falling open due to your blunt questions. When he laughs this time, it’s a sharp bark and more fox-like than human. “Oh, you are one of them. Much more perceptive than many of the others.” He licks his lips, still human-smooth, but his ears have grown longer. They’re peeking out from the sides of his head, poking through his hair now. “Some of them were flings. Some of them were just… A way to stave off loneliness, even if they were unpleasant.”

“And where am I falling on that scale?”

Pyre arches a thicker brow, baring his sharp teeth in a slightly eerie smile. “I wouldn’t be opposed to a fling with someone like you, but your companionship is more than enough if that’s all you want to give.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Then how, exactly, am I a ‘bad decision’? Making friends isn’t a bad thing, is it?”

Pyre’s smile wavers. “No, no it isn’t.” He looks away, into the middle of the fire, where the charmed match is still blazing like a seed of flame. “The bad decision is that my loneliness drives me to go looking in the first place.”

You let a few moments pass in relative silence, puzzling over his words. It sounds more than strange, but you can’t put your finger on why. “What does that mean?” You finally ask, noting the way he’s digging his nails into his thighs.

He looks back at you. “Anyone who wanders out here is an offering, of sorts. To help bear the brunt of winter. The tours… They’re more like a ritual than those guides of yours realize.”

Your head feels strangely empty. Ritual, he’d said. Slowly, you think back to the myths linked to the tundra, to the Mirrored Teeth, to the folktales attached to cities and Serpent Towers. There had been something about bearing the brunt of winter, holding it back from sweeping over the land…

“Your time here will be no more than the three days I promised. You will be taken back to the Slavering, with only this time gone from the memories of others, and I will do nothing but what I promise: to lead you back, if that is all you desire.” Pyre creeps closer, long arms and long fingers bracing himself on the dirt. All it takes is a single stretch and he’s by your side, towering over you in his half shifted form. “The bad decision was that I was given the right to choose without any warning. That I could only claim those I charmed away.”

“You charmed me?” You whisper.

“You heard my voice,” Pyre explains and your heart beats painfully in your chest. He is why people vanish from the tours and come back tired and dirty but… But most of them come back unharmed.

“What happens to those that don’t make it back?” You ask, trying to quell your panic.

Pyre’s shoulders hunch. “Sometimes people react poorly, and they run. Running in the fog is never wise.”

“How am I… How am I supposed to help you keep winter from swallowing the world?”

Pyre barks out another laugh, though he’s grimacing. “Those years I don’t have a companion, winter escapes my hold. It’s much easier to keep in check with help.”

“Helping how?” You ask, voice going brittle.

“Companionship. You’re already bound to the three days,” he says quietly, nodding his head to the pot of slow boiling bearberries on the fire. “You ate three of them. If…. If you choose to help, to spend the winter with me, then you can drink. You’ll be with me through the entire season—”

“Out in the middle of the tundra, with nothing but a tarp and an evening's supply of food?” You ask, getting to your feet. You take a step away from the fire, nervous energy making you move, and then freeze when you hear a far off voice again. You glance down at Pyre, angry and convinced it must be him, but then you recognize it. The voice, low and soft as it echoes strangely through the fog, is you.

“The voices are possibilities only,” Pyre says, talking over the needy sounding moan. It vanishes, like nothing more than smoke on a fast moving breeze. “And I would take you back to my home, I wouldn’t make you wander out here and sleep on the freezing ground!” Pyre starts to get to his feet and then thinks better of it. He stays where he is, looking up at you, holding out a hand. “If you drink, all I require is companionship. Loneliness lets the ice creep further out, but friendship, or, or anger or passion keeps it at bay. With your help I can bind the overflow of ice in the teeth. But if three days is all you’ll allow, then I’ll find another, I promise. You’ll be free of this, and you’ll forget this ever happened.”

You’re out in the middle of the tundra, wreathed in magical fog and standing before a shifter, a… a spirit? A deity? That keeps winter at bay. You did want magic, didn’t you? You ask yourself. You look down to his open hand, brown palm calloused, nails long and sharp, white fox fur growing longer along his arm.

“No one will even notice I’ve been gone?”

“You’ll be lost in the fog for three days, according to them. What life you’ve missed will feel like a blink, but no. They won’t realize you’ll have been gone for the entire winter.” Pyre’s mouth closes, stubbled throat working as he swallows.

Slowly, you sit back down, picking up the glazed green mug and holding it out for Pyre to fill. “The winter then. If we end up hating one another? You have no one to blame but yourself.”

Pyre doesn’t answer, but he watches like a predator after he fills the mug with bearberry tea, copper eyes caught on your lips. You finish half the cup, and what chill lingered in your bones slowly fades away. Carefully, Pyre takes the cup back and downs the rest, long tongue licking stray droplets off of his lips.

————-　🦊　————-

You travel with Pyre for three days before you reach the banks of the Slavering, only when you do, the tour guides aren’t waiting for you. This is where the Slavering begins, the thick snowmelt coming off of the high mountaintops and rolling down through the craggy rocks to make a river. There’s a cave entrance not far from the rapids, covered over with weeds and just large enough for Pyre to stoop over and fit into. You stop at the entrance, with him close behind you, and stare into the far off dark.

“It’s not like a dungeon in there, is it?”

Pyre grumbles, somewhere between indignation and a laugh. “You always know just what to say. No, it’s not like a dungeon. There’s plenty of modern day amenities inside. I’m a shifter, not a beast.”

Cautiously, still not entirely trusting him, you head inside. It’s dark at first, and earthy smelling, just like a cave, but then Pyre strikes another one of his charmed matches and pulls you to the side so he can lead. There’s a lamp up ahead, the frosted glass globe just big enough for Pyre to reach in and set the match. Heat and light seem to roll through the entire area, a locked, wooden door revealing itself to the side of the lamp. The cave floor, still cold and a bit damp, is actually stones, pieced together into what looks like a strange little map. You frown down at the stones, eyes tracing the edges of a single, deep blue vein, wondering why the chips of pale rock surrounding it strike you as strange.

“The Teeth,” you murmur suddenly. “You have a map of the teeth in front of your door?” Some of the spots are much smaller than others, more like a pinprick of pale stone as opposed to some of the hefty chips. If you unfocus your eyes, the map looks like a reflection of the stars.

“Magic,” Pyre explains, though he doesn’t sound pleased with his own answer. “There’s plenty to talk about when it comes to the Teeth, and the voices, just… Let’s go inside. It’s going to start snowing soon.”

When he opens the door, all the lamps inside are lit. Much like Pyre himself, his decor is frayed and worn down. There are heavy furs on the walls, and tapestries too, both simple and grand, but fragile looking. There are furs on some of the furniture as well. There’s a large stone fireplace, with hooks over the mantle made of horn and a set of stone stairs that curve out of sight. There’s no sign of things like phones or televisions, but you feel like you should have expected that. Companionship through a screen probably didn't fulfill the parameters of his… his curse?

That’s something you decide to ask about later. After all, you have the rest of the winter to spend with him, and he explained plenty over the three day trip to the mountain. The teeth are made of contained winter. The larger the teeth are, the more someone helped Pyre through that season. Through friendship, or anger, or passion, they melted the ice and snow. Pyre would take the melt and bind it in magic-made spires, but he couldn’t build on only one. Each spire was the product of a different person, each fling or friend made or fight had melted the snow at different rates. If your help has already begun, then you know some of the snow must have melted already due to your anger over the past few days, but it’s not something you think you can hold onto. Pyre tricked you into the three days, gave you the bearberries and bid you eat if you were hungry. You’d eaten three of them. The rest of the winter though? That you chose yourself. At least for a while, you’re ready to try and enjoy a little bit of the magic, keeping back winter or no.

“It’s not quite past midday,” Pyre says quietly, voice a strange melding of fox and man. “If you’d like food, I will make it for you. If you’d like a rest, I’ll show you to your room.”

“My room?” You ask, only sounding mildly sarcastic.

Pyre narrows those coppery eyes of his. “Sometimes I think you say these things on purpose. Yes. Your room.” He heads for the staircase, his toenails clicking on the stone floor before he reaches the layers of rugs, the soft padding of his feet on them makes you smile. “I would hardly complain if you decided to join me in mine, but even so, you will have your own space.” He tosses his head, earrings catching in his hair and then vanishes up the stairs.

You move at a much more sedate pace, still examining your surroundings. There’s a very old looking table, covered with the remnants of a puzzle that looks to be from forty years ago at least. There’s a rack of old bottles, some of them look like wine, but others are clearly beer, and still others look like glass bottles of soda, the liquid half evaporated. Pyre’s house is going to be a treasure trove of history, of things left behind by others. The winter is going to be very long, you’re certain, but it won’t be forever. All of the people that left these things behind have obviously left and returned to their homes. You turn on your heel, slip your bag off of your shoulders and leave it at the foot of the stairs. You can come back for it later.

The lamps, all seemingly lit from that single charmed match, spiral up the staircase. There aren’t any doors that open up off the sides, only a hallway at the very top and three open doors leading to the far end. The first one you pass is a bathroom, with a large tub carved out of the stone of the mountain. There are elderly looking cupboards in there, and what looks like a wood burning stove, though it’s empty. The toilet, you assume, is behind the drawscreen, and when you peek your head farther in, there’s also a shining, copper mirror hanging on the wall. The second room is where Pyre is, hands fussing over the thick curtains around the bed. There’s a fireplace against the wall, and a nightstand next to the bed, and more furs draped over a chair made of wood and horn in the corner. There’s a worn desk, obviously hand-made by someone unskilled, but a beautiful bookcase next to it, filled with books in various states of wear. Some of the spines are cracked, but others still are pristine. To the right of the bed, there’s a single paned window. Snow is coating the sill outside, thick flurries weighing down the weeds that are growing in the cracked stone.

Despite the magic, despite the voices and his promise, it still hadn’t felt quite so real, wandering through the tundra with him. He’d said the snow would be coming down soon though.

“It’s lovely,” you answer, honestly, even if not everything is to your taste. It almost makes you want to laugh though, because it definitely looks like it’s somewhere removed from the normal world, some kind of strange mish-mash of time periods all pressed into a two story place. You wonder, without Pyre, would anyone ever find this place?

“Parts of it,” Pyre says, strange looking hands pausing in their tying of the curtains. He’s looking at the headboard, you realize. There’s a faint gouge in the dark wood, but it doesn’t look like it was from Pyre. It looks like a very human scratch. Warmth crawls over the back of your neck, though you’re not sure whether it’s embarrassment or eagerness. You’d been feeling a healthy dose of attraction with Pyre before he told you about everything, and it had taken a bit to sort through your feelings on the matter, even with you making the final choice to come here. You still don’t know how things will continue, but for now…

“Let me see what I can do to help make a few more lovely memories then,” you say suddenly. Heat is pulsing through you now, warming your cheeks and the tips of your ears and zinging down along your spine. Pyre’s head snaps to the side to find your hands working slowly at your clothes. He doesn’t move any further, doesn’t even tip back his head, just stares at you over the crest of his shoulder, pupils swallowing down the copper of his irises.

“If—you don’t have to do anything,” he insists, and his tail swishes, slowly, just the once. It doesn’t bristle out as it had when you’d first spotted him.

Your coat drops to the floor, and his eyes follow it. “I know. We were flirting though, before you told me about all of this, and I still…” You glance away, only for your eyes to snap back to Pyre as he drags his patched suit jacket off of his shoulders.

He slows when he realizes you’re watching, but doesn’t stop. A slow grin pulls at the corners of his wide mouth. “You still want to feel magic?” He taunts, and laughs when you roll your eyes. He stops laughing when the rest of your clothes hit the floor, the hint of a whine escaping him when you take a step closer, shivering when you feel the temperature of the stone on your bare feet. “My room,” Pyre says roughly, though you can’t tear your eyes away from him. He’s still a wonderfully strange mix of man and fox. His face is still humanoid, with lips and stubbled cheeks, and so is the shape of his shoulders through his holey t-shirt. There’s soft curls of hair peeking out of the stretched neck of his shirt, but along the backs of his arms it looks more like fur and his feet are still wholly canine. His tails, tails plural, are starting to grow longer too, and you recall the way he’d seemed to coalesce into one person when the fog had rolled back.

Pyre crosses the room, hesitating before he places his hands on your shoulders, thumbnails scratching gently at your bare skin. The chill of the room had been seeping into you, but at his touch, warmth chases it all away. When you slide your hands up his chest, Pyre’s eyes fall closed, gray lashes bright against his skin. “M’ room,” he repeats again, but pulls you into a kiss as he tows you out the door. There’s no more time for examining the hallway or the knick-knacks he might be keeping in his own space. There’s his lips and his stubble scratching at your skin and his hands splayed over the back of your neck and the base of your spine. He coaxes you into his room with deep, slow kisses that leave your head spinning, whispering things that make your pulse speed. “Want, want the smell of you on my sheets,” he says against your neck, dragging sharp teeth carefully over your throat. He growls when your hands dip to undo his trousers, your thumb following the trail of hair that vanishes beneath his underwear. “If this is, if it’s—”

“I agreed to the winter,” you remind him and then he’s turning you and letting you fall back onto his bed. You have a moment to register soft fur, and crocheted blankets, and comforters too, before Pyre is pulling his shirt off and tossing it across the room. He wrestles with the rest of his clothes, leaving you another moment to admire him. The hair on his chest and trailing down his abdomen looks human, much coarser than the fur on his arms and below his knees. Between his legs is a thick cock, hard and beginning to leak, with a small bulge near the base of him, and then your gaze is drawn back up as he crawls onto the bed, moving much slower than he had in the hall. He doesn’t press, doesn’t rush, just leans his body over yours to kiss you again, careful with his teeth. He groans when you reach up and tug at his braid, pulling the rough tie away and tossing it to the side. You comb your fingers through his hair, tangling your fingers in it to keep him kissing you and tense when his cock slides over your thigh, hot and hard and enough to make you buck up, already seeking friction. Pyre kisses you until you’re breathless, leaving you sucking at your own lips and trying to calm yourself as he urges you further up the bed, back to a veritable nest of pillows.

He isn’t slow when he settles himself between your legs, hands curling around your thighs and pushing them carefully back towards your chest. He isn’t slow when he drags his tongue over you, hot and slick and slightly rough. He’s careful as he can be with his teeth, but there are a few pinches that make you gasp and tremble. He laves his tongue over them, soothing the sting, but his nails are pressing hard into your skin and you’re fairly certain you’re going to bruise, simply from the continued pressure. Pyre is noisy too, whining and groaning as he tastes you, as you do your best to rock yourself against his tongue, hand tugging at his hair while he sucks and eats. The ache of orgasm, painful-but-sweet, is starting to build, starting to make you tense everytime he opens his jaw, teeth dragging over tender skin, leaving you wet and shuddering. He huffs when you whimper, and pulls away before you can come, copper eyes as bright as flame when he moves to sit back against his headboard. The loss of him feels sudden, and the cold is sharp without his warmth against you.

“That was on purpose,” you murmur. Pyre arches a brow, trying to keep from smiling when you scowl at his crooking finger. You still get up, on shaking knees and gasp when he tugs you over and onto his lap, your back against his chest, cock slick and sticky against your ass.

“I want to feel everything when you shake apart,” he murmurs, hand splaying over your sternum as he helps you arrange your legs. By the time you’re straddling his thighs, his fingertips are dipping into the hollow of your throat and his cock is rutting against your thigh and every part of you is on edge, desperate for more. You’d been so close. Pyre licks at the side of your throat, pressing his hand harder against your chest to keep your back still. “Lift your hips,” he urges, and takes his cock in hand, dragging the head over you as you do your best to listen. Like fitting a key into a lock, Pyre finds the correct angle, breathing raggedly as you press yourself down. As soon as you’ve taken enough of him, he lets go of himself and then presses on the top of your thighs, making you gasp out his name as you take him in deeper. He eases off after a moment, letting you adjust, letting you wriggle and groans out your name roughly as you do your best to ride him.

You think for a moment about saying something, about teasing him or trying to rile him up, but it’s all you can do to keep up what rhythm you have, heart beating terribly fast against the hand he has on your chest. He lets you move, lets you reach back and clutch at the messy locks of his hair, his breath warm against your throat and the top of your shoulder and then Pyre pushes roughly against your thigh again, thrusting up until his knot is grinding against you. “Fuck, fuck, Pyre, that—”

“Too much?” He asks, waiting while you shake, trying to steady your breath. You’re probably going to ache later, probably won’t want to do much but doze or take a bath in that massive stone tub, but right now? Right now you want to be greedy.

“More,” you get out and Pyre laughs, that eerie, fox-like noise echoing in your ear as he teases you with the knot, pressing you down and then pulling back his hips. Pillows cascade off the edges of the bed, spilling over the floor. You start squeezing, doing your best to drive him over the edge, so sensitive it almost hurts. “Please,” you whisper and then you’re too busy for speech. His knot stretches you and his hand dips between your thighs, stroking and his fingers press into the base of your throat. He’s not choking you, but he’s starting to squeeze and then you’re coming. Pleasure washes over you in a fierce, pulsing ache that shoots down to your toes and fountains back up your body. You shout out his name and shake in his arms, eyes falling closed as his knot expands, locking you in place. Your eyes flutter open and closed and drift to a steamed up window, much like the one in your own room. Weeds are still poking up through the cracks, but now it’s not snowing outside, it’s raining.

Pyre turns his nose to the space behind your ear, breathing deep, his own limbs growing loose. “The winter might well be softer this year,” Pyre mumbles, voice raspy, his hand smoothing down your sternum and over your hips. “And I have you to thank for that.”

“We still have the rest of the winter ahead of us,” you remind him, but you’re too sleepy to argue with him any further. Whether you end up enjoying the rest of your time here, you do know one thing: Passion will definitely be a huge part of fulfilling your bargain for the winter.

————-　🦊　————-

#exophilia #werefox boyfriend #male werefox #shifter boyfriend #d.darling writes #d.darling queues

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apothecarinomicon · 3 years

Text

Spring week 1 part 1

I’m not quite sure how to begin.

I’m not typically one for journaling but it would appear to be part of the gig, as it were. I found this book—the one I’m writing in, heavy and musty and leather-bound—sitting on the table when I arrived, open to a blank page. There are at least a thousand pages filled before it, and no matter how many blank pages I flip past this one I can’t reach the back cover without closing the book entirely.

Mòrag told me things that present themselves for investigation here tend to be worth exploring, and if my gut tells me what’s right not to stray from its guidance. But I’m getting ahead of myself—you don’t even know who I am.

My name is Fionn Gill, and I’m a witch. I know, I know, but I don’t get into all that “warlock” “wizard” shit. It’s just a way to separate and belittle the same practice based solely on the gender of the practitioner, in my opinion. My specialty lies in potion-making, though I’m not very experienced. I’ve really only just finished my training—I’m from Huntsmanland and they’re not nearly as magically-inclined there as they are in High Rannoc. This is the first part of the country I’ve visited other than my tutor’s homestead and I must say, it hasn’t made the most stellar impression.

My tutor Edith received a letter stating that services would be required in the town of Greenmoor, and since the letter didn’t specify her services, she sent me to take care of it. I don’t know if she expected it to be an indefinite position, but here we are.

I didn’t bring a lot with me—just enough for the journey. It was about all I could carry walking. I arrived in Greenmoor with just about the clothes on my back, hoping they had an apothecary of their own so I could get this over with.

I’ve never really been one for small towns, and nor do they have much love for me. I’ve always thought I was meant for adventure—movement, action, peril, all of it. Small town life just feels so… stagnant. Nothing changes, no one grows or changes or has anything interesting to talk about. It’s enough to drive you mad.

Not to mention the natural suspicion of outsiders. I could see it on Mòrag McKinney’s face, even as she greeted me at the edge of town in her official capacity as mayor. Her hair was done up in a huge bun of thick braids on top of her head—a hairstyle with a formality at odds with her armored clothing.

She seemed surprised when I told her I was the witch. That’s not uncommon—like most intellectual and healing work, witchcraft is traditionally the domain of women. Even in the relatively forward-thinking country of High Rannoc, I tend to get some variation on ‘oh, how progressive!’ when I tell people my vocation. Often if you get a man doing witchcraft, his neighbors will whisper certain things about him. My neighbors back home were whispering those things about me anyway, so that wasn’t much of a hurdle to me.

Mòrag (she insisted I call her by her first name once we’d been properly introduced) gave me a brief tour of Greenmoor. It is, to put it lightly, tiny. I’d estimate a population around fifty. Near everyone has a job that serves an internal function to the community, with maybe the exception of the innkeeper. There are blacksmiths, miners, a carpenter, a tanner… she didn’t indicate any artists or poets or anything of that sort to me, which was disheartening. Even when I thought I would only be here briefly, I was hoping to enjoy the finer things the locals had to offer. The closest this town comes is a library, but I sorely doubt they have any kind of collection of works by local authors.

Mòrag pointed out all the magical resources in town, and some of them impressed me—the lunar tower and ritual circle in particular looked useful. She did not show me any apothecary, and following her aforementioned advice, I took that to mean there wasn’t one. Can’t wait to go out and experience the joys of foraging in the wilderness myself.

Once we’d gone through the entire village, she showed me to the cottage where I’ll be staying. It’s a little ways away from the town proper, down a walking path through some trees. It’s little more than a one-room thing, with only the washroom closed off from the rest of the space. The walls and door are made of dark wood, and the outside still has bark attached in many places. The roof is sloped and overgrown with moss and ivy. Inside the main room there is a bed, a large set of shelves which ought to have reagents and potion-making materials on them but are mostly bare, and a table on which this book sits. The washroom has a tub and a latrine—no plumbing to be found. Out back sits the remains of a garden, only one plot of which looks salvageable. A ways back into the trees there’s a creek. Most of the rest of the clearing is in the early stages of becoming overgrown, with trees and bushes and flowers starting to stretch themselves out and remembering how to be wild.

Mòrag told me the witch who was here before me was a bit of a recluse. No one in town knew very much about her, and she seemed to prefer it that way. They came to her for her healing potions and never made it past small talk and kept inviting her to parties and festivals even though she never attended. And then one day nearly everyone in town woke up with a gift from her—the farmers received her animals, the barkeep her ferments, the innkeeper and bakers her crops. As the townspeople tallied their gifts they realized it amounted to nearly everything she owned. They went together to her cottage to ask her why she’d given it all away, and found her cottage—this cottage—empty. The ensuing search turned up no body, no note, not a shred of evidence to speak of. It was as if she’d disappeared into thin air. As the townsfolk talked and wondered what had happened, they quickly realized no one knew her well enough to provide any real insight. They couldn’t even come to a consensus on what her name was.

They had quickly moved on to discussing the more pressing issue: the town was lacking a healer. The general store owner had worked with my tutor Edith in years prior (Edith loved to tell stories of the time she spent pursuing the culinary arts). Thus, the letter and thus, my presence.

Mòrag told me she hoped I might be more engaged in the community than my predecessor. I decided to refrain from telling her not to get her hopes up, and instead expressed my confusion: I’d thought this was a single gig, that I was to heal someone of their illness and then leave.

She disabused me of that notion with rather more intensity than I think was warranted.

She told me that unless my predecessor reappeared, I was all they had. She said Edith had spoken highly of my abilities in her return letter (I doubted that—Edith never spoke highly of anyone). She told me I would receive a base pay of 20 silver per cure to start, and that if I did the townsfolk well and they grew to like me, they’d most certainly be willing to pay more. She told me that the folks of Greenmoor were good people, even if they were a bit disaster-prone and some of them could make good use of a little more common sense.

And, well, how do you say no to that?

When I asked where I would be getting my materials, she told me the areas surrounding Greenmoor were rich in natural resources. So it will be as I feared. I’m glad I brought my off-road boots.

Mòrag left me to get settled in and I immediately took stock. There are no reagents on the shelves (of course not! Why would there be?), but I did find a cauldron, mortar and pestle, and a copper alembic (which is used for distilling)—so at least once I have the reagents I’ll be able to do some basic cooking with them. I also found a small leather-bound book with vague descriptions of some of the areas surrounding the village. I should be able to cross-reference it with my notes on the environments where useful reagents can be found to make searching for materials a bit less painful.

I pulled a matted tangle of weeds out of the garden plot, but it looks like whatever was planted underneath already shriveled away to nothing. Well, at least the land’s clear now.

One thing that I knew I’d need if I was going to be able to handle this was a familiar. I’ve never been one for conjuration but in this case it’s an unfortunate necessity. I was supposed to be getting one within the next few weeks at Edith’s anyway, and I already knew the process. You’re supposed to have a more experienced witch observe your first time, but that’s just academic formality—there’s nothing actually dangerous about the process.

I found what looks to be a quarter cran basket (was my predecessor into fishing…?) under the bed, and set out around the property collecting small rocks and flowers and toadstools that had the right kinds of vibration. They were for use in the ritual, but also collecting them was a good start to cleaning the property up. Because if I’m going to be living here, it cannot stay looking like this.

I took the basket into the woods near the creek and laid its contents out in a circle as wide as I was tall. Before I placed each one down, I held it for a moment and asked it to help me with my task. Then, I sat in the center of my circle and closed my eyes and tried to meditate. Clearing my head has never been my strong suit, but I’m usually able to fudge the process enough to do what needs doing. This time took a bit longer than usual but eventually I managed. I felt my energy (spirit, consciousness, whatever) radiating out from me, pink and orange and bright and loud, first to the edges of the circle and then beyond. All of it asked a single question and listened for the answer.

The response came from much closer than anticipated, when I felt something small hop onto my knee.

I opened my eyes and looked down to see a frog staring back at me, blinking lazily and making small, guttural noises. Her back was green and rough and slimy. One of her eyes was milky, pointing vaguely off to the left, while the other gazed straight at me. The tips of her toes (three on each foot) edged closer to brown than the rest of her body.

Having clearly presented herself, she now asked if my gut said we would be good partners.

I’ve named her Ailean.

And now here I am, writing all of this down. I don’t know if I’ll be able to manage this every day. Whoever reads this may have to settle for a few times a week. With that said, I do think I’d like to go back and read what my predecessor wrote. Maybe it’ll give a clue as to where she’s gone, and help me escape this position sooner. She seems to have been quite the prolific writer—getting through her logs could take months, especially if the townsfolk keep me particularly busy with their various woes. I’ll have to start reading sooner rather than later.

Speak of the devil, there’s a knock on my door. It hasn’t even been a full day and I might already have my first customer. I’ll finish this later.

⇦●〇●⇨

#writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #original writing #fantasy #apothecaria #entry #amwriting #creative writing #fiction #rpg #roleplaying game #high rannoc #writeblr community #writers #writblr

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dark-academia-tips · 5 years

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Greetings and Salutations, I’m new to the Dark Academia community. And I’ve absolutely fallen in love with what being a dark academic is about. But, I’ve had some trouble fully implementing dark academia into my lifestyle. Are there any tips to clothing?(styles and shops)things I should do or say? Just would love to have all tips and tricks! I love your page by the way!

how to implement dark academia into your life: the ultimate guide

fashion

if you look up dark academia fashion, you should find a lot of tweed, wool, corduroy. this is good. you want that.

things to keep an eye out for:

a tweed blazer (of course). buy it secondhand so it already has that ratty feel. some (like my beloved @thoughtcriminals ) wear it very fitted and rock it, some others (like myself) like it just a tad too big. It ultimately depends on how and with what you’ll wear it. If you plan on wearing over sweaters, don’t get one that’s too tight, especially around the sleeve area; conversely, if you layer it under a winter coat, the sleeves should not be too thick so that it doesn’t bundle up.

a few woolen trousers. try to have around four or five. they must all fit you perfectly. bonus if they have belt loops (belts are A Staple of androgynous da students). I personally have a corduroy one, a check one, a striped one and a plaid one. keep the colour scheme in the earthy tones (cream, brown, forest green), and if you are like me and you like to eat/drink a lot, make sure that they have extra room. optimal cuts include, but are not limited to: straight, tapered (’cigarette trousers’), sailor, and palazzo. you also want to be able to crouch in them, it’s much easier in case you’re involved in a murder :)

button-ups. a lot of them. these, along with the trousers, are your wardrobe staples. i absolutely adore victorian/edwardian inspired blouses, with cool lace collars and all, but you also need simpler, sleeker ones. large billowy sleeves are an absolute yes too. they can be white, cream, ochre, brown, bordeaux... take your skin tone into account and your ability to not stain your clothing whenever you eat.

cool socks. do NOT underestimate what socks tell about your character. they should keep your feet warm and toasty, and also have quotes on them. or you can be like me and be too lazy to match socks: if so, just buy a 15-pack of short plain white socks. but if you’re really cool, buy these.

a woolen coat. to wear atop your button-ups and blazer. the popular choice seems to be long and black, but red or houndstooth also work super well. what you want is potential to be noticed, whether by having it swish behind you when you hurry past people in the corridors, or just popping out in the middle of all the common folk dressed in black with your bright red. extra points if you do both at the same time.

other essentials include: mid-length circle skirts, an off-white fisherman’s sweater, a full suit, WAISTCOATS, ties, and bowties. also jewellery: a watch, a locket, some rings... keep it minimal.

decor

dark academia room decor is surprisingly much harder to find. in general what seems to be popular is: chaotic but with one colour scheme, Full Victorian or basic furniture but stylish accessories. in general i’d say staples are: white bedsheets, wooden desk (bonus if it has ink stains), piles of books everywhere, a collection of old books definitely won’t go amiss, half-finished chess games, coffee stains. basically you want to look careless but still moderately tidy.

lifestyle

this one is a subject of controversy. if you want to live a true-to-the-books dark academia life, then drink, be elitist, be rich, smoke, gamble, kill a man. i do not agree with this. here is my version of the dark academia life.

always thirst for knowledge. whether it be by watching that documentary with the cool birds, or by reading the memoirs of the duc de saint-simon, try to expand your knowledge in all the directions you can.

be hedonistic, but never put yourself in danger. drink wine if you want to. smoke cigarettes/weed if you want to. stay up late if you want to. but always know what you are doing. never get wasted on alcohol or other things; you must always be in control of yourself and your actions.

read books! lots of em. if you can, never leave your house without a book. come back with more books. read classics, non-fiction, poetry... anything you can! thirst for knowledge

quote stuff. quoting authors in a conversation will immediately make you seem more cultured. on that note, try to expand your vocabulary as much as you can, to be well-spoken. Bernadette Banner is your goals.

don’t conform to society’s standards. take up a stupid hobby. experiment with your image. hack into the school to make vivaldi your new bell tone. meditate at four in the morning. stain that book from the 1900s with coffee. seize the bloody day, make the most out of life the way you want it want to be an antequary? want to have a sugar daddy who you can escape but is strangely smitten by you? want to play saxophone at three in the morning? do it. and fuck anyone who tells you otherwise. dark academia is about being eccentric in a world of sheep.

a lot of people say that being gay is an inherent part of da. i disagree. do what you want! kiss your best friends. be heterosexual. have a liaison with nb folk. da is about hedonism. if you want it and the other person wants it, then i see no issue.

for more lists of any kind head to my blog! i will lengthen this in time when i feel the courage to; for now, i don’t. my inbox is always open if you have questions or requests.

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tinyshe · 3 years

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[copy, save and share censored information; fight for freedom of information]

COVID-19 Injection Campaign Violates Bioethics Laws

Story at-a-glance

Safety data analysis and reporting in clinical trials of the COVID jabs appear to have been manipulated in at least some cases. One method for manipulating randomized clinical trial safety data is to only analyze the “per protocol” treatment group (those who completed all doses and were fully compliant with the study design) as opposed to “intent to treat” which would include all patients that have signed informed consent

For example, if a participant only accepted one dose and trial protocol called for two, under a “per protocol” analysis, adverse events they experienced would be dismissed and not included in the safety analysis. This is a classic way to manipulate safety data in clinical research, and it's usually forbidden

Since the COVID shots only have emergency use authorization, they are experimental products and, as such, they are not authorized for marketing

Bioethics are written into federal law. As an experimental trial participant, you have the right to receive full disclosure of any adverse event risks. Full disclosure of risks is not being done, and in fact is being suppressed

Adverse event risks must also be communicated in a way that you can comprehend what the risks are, and the acceptance of an experimental product must be fully voluntary and uncoerced. Enticement is strictly forbidden

As the inventor of the messenger RNA (mRNA) vaccine platform, Dr. Robert Malone is one of the most qualified individuals to opine on the benefits and potential risks of this technology.

His background includes a medical degree from Northwestern University, a master's degree from Salk Institute, a bachelor's degree in biochemistry from UC Davis, a Giannini fellowship in pathology and a post-graduate fellowship in global clinical research at Harvard.

He taught pathology to medical students for about a decade at the University of Maryland and the University of California Davis, and then became an associate professor of surgery at Uniformed Services, University of the Health Sciences, where he launched a major research institute focused on breast cancer and high-throughput screening in genomics for breast cancer.

After that, he helped found a company called Inovio, which has brought forth a number of gene therapy discoveries, including vaccines, and the use of pulsed electrical fields as a delivery method. After 9/11, a colleague at the University of Maryland's department of business and economic development connected him with Dynport Vaccine Company, a startup that had received a DoD contract to manage its biodefense products.

"That's when I transitioned from being more of an academic to the advanced development world of clinical research, regulatory affairs, project management, compliance, quality assurance — all of that stuff that goes into actually making a product," Malone explains.

"It was a huge epiphany that the world really didn't need more academic thought leaders and [that] I was wasting my time focusing on that. What the world really needed was that people understood the underlying technology and the discovery research world, but also understood advanced development, which is that drug development is a highly-regulated world. And there aren't very many of those.

So, I set out to become really expert in that latter part and worked with the government, particularly in biodefense and vaccine development, for a couple of decades. And that brings me to the present.

I've captured a couple of billion dollars in grants and contracts for companies that I've worked with, and clients from the government, from BARDA [Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority], from the Department of Defense and others."

COVID-19 'Vaccines' Are Gene Therapy

I've been accused of falsely stating that these COVID shots are not vaccines but gene modifying interventions. However, even Malone agrees with this statement, and as the inventor of the technology, he should know. He points out that in Germany, by law you cannot refer to this technology as a genetic vaccine or gene therapy vaccine. "The German government has specifically outlawed the use of gene therapy-based vaccine as a term," he says.

With his background, and having received the COVID shot himself, he can hardly be called an "anti-vaxxer" and/or someone who doesn't believe in gene therapies. Yet, he recently went public with concerns about the safety of rolling out this kind of technology on a mass scale, and the unethical ways in which they're being promoted.

As has become the trend, he was immediately censored. Wikileaks even went so far as to erase him from the historical section of the mRNA vaccine page and his own personal Wikipedia page was removed. All references to Malone inventing the mRNA technology were removed and attributed to a variety of institutions instead.

Blowing the Whistle

Malone's public involvement with the COVID jab issue began with a short essay1 reflecting on the bioethics of the current campaign to get a needle in every arm. This essay grew out of a conversation he'd had with a Canadian physician. Malone's essay catalyzed an interview with Bret Weinstein in June 2021 on the DarkHorse Podcast.

This isn't the first time Malone has spoken out against unethical behavior in science. He was also a whistleblower in the Jesse Gelsinger death case,2 back in 1999. Gelsinger was a young man who had a rare metabolic disorder called ornithine transcarbamylase deficiency syndrome (OTCD), where dangerous amounts of ammonia build up in your blood.

He'd been diagnosed at the age of 2, and was managing his condition with a regimen of nearly 50 drugs a day. At 17, Gelsinger signed up for an investigational gene therapy. Like the COVID shots, the therapy involved injecting a gene attached to an adenovirus, which would be integrated into his DNA to permanently produce an enzyme that prevents ammonia buildup.

Gelsinger was the 18th person to receive the gene therapy, and while the others had only experienced mild side effects, Gelsinger had a severe response after scientists at the University of Pennsylvania administered adenoviruses doses that were far above what had been approved by the corresponding safety committee.

Gelsinger became disoriented and developed jaundice and acute inflammation, followed by a rare blood clotting disorder and multi-organ failure. He was dead within days. Even a decade later, Gelsinger's death is still considered the biggest setback for gene therapy.3

"When the Jesse Gelsinger events happened, I also had long been a deep insider in the gene therapy space, so I had specific knowledge of what had happened at Penn — the ethical transgressions, shall we say, that occurred — and had awareness, again, just like now, of the technology," Malone says. "So, I was able to make sense of things that otherwise were obscure for journalists and even other scientists."

After speaking out about the ethical transgressions that contributed to Gelsinger's death (dosing which exceeded approved levels), Malone became a "persona non-grata" in the gene therapy community. In other words, he was blacklisted by his peers and prevented from participating in gene therapy research.

"That's part of why I went in a different direction with my career and focused on government work and biodefense, supporting the Department of Defense," Malone says. "The lesson learned for me is that I'm able to be resilient, together with my wife's support.

Another key lesson was that your friends will support you through times of crisis if you behave with integrity and maintain your friendships and treat people with respect. I also had a lot of support for having spoken out and taken an ethical high road on that and not compromised myself …

It's part of why I'm comfortable [speaking out now]. People tell me that I come across as balanced and calm. But yes, this is a little bit frightening and once again, [I'm] putting my career on the line. But once again many of my colleagues in the government are grateful that I'm speaking this way. They are not able to have a voice because of their jobs and government policies about speaking out."

Public Responses to Censorship Make a Difference

As explained by Malone, he's been heavily censored since his three-hour interview with Brett Weinstein. LinkedIn even deleted his account. However, LinkedIn users all around the world canceled their accounts in protest and wrote the company, explaining their cancellations were in protest of Malone being censored.

The social media uproar culminated in a major news article in a mainstream Italian paper, which appears to have pushed LinkedIn over the edge. LinkedIn eventually reinstated Malone's account and even sent him a letter of apology.

"I don't think I've ever heard of a company writing a letter of apology after delisting and deleting somebody," he says. "My sins were 'profound,'" he says sarcastically, "They were that I outed the chairman of the board of directors of Reuters who is also sitting on the board of Pfizer, for cross-posting the Wall Street Journal article on vaccine toxicity risks, and well, basically for complaining about censorship.

So, they sent me my list of sins with six different posts that were to pretty much anybody's eye innocuous, which I then took and cross-posted onto Twitter. So, that revealed the absurdity of that … The note [of apology] that I received basically said, 'Look, we don't have the expertise to censor you, but if you cross the line, we have the right to summarily delete you again and so mind your manners.'"

The Repurposing of Drugs to Combat Pandemics

In recent years, Malone has been involved in yet another startup company (Atheric Pharmaceuticals), in collaboration with the DoD, that focused on repurposing drugs to combat Zika infection. That company went bankrupt for lack of investor interest in repurposing drugs for treating infectious diseases.

When the COVID-19 outbreak began, he got a call from a colleague who works in the intelligence community in Wuhan, China, who urged him to put together a team to investigate the possibility of repurposing old drugs against COVID.

His team is currently about to enter clinical trials for a number of licensed off-patent drugs. That said, his biggest contribution so far is probably his commentary on the bioethics of what is going on.

"Both my wife and I are deeply ethical people," he says. "We're high school sweethearts. We try really hard to live ethical lives and to help our fellow man as well as the animals in our lives. So that's just the place we come from. It's bedrock. We're not rich people.

I recall a long telephone call with the Canadian physician that poured his heart out about the situation in Canada that he's encountering, both with vaccine administration in primary practice, and also in administering alternative therapies to outpatients, which generally have no therapies available.

I mean, the position is a bit shocking — in the emergency rooms all across the world. Basically, you go to the ER and if your O2 sets are down, pushing towards 80, they say, 'Well, go [home] and come back when your lips are blue.' And that's the essence of it. They don't really offer anything.

So many physicians, including this gentleman in Canada, have been seeking alternative strategies and they've tested and administered these various agents. We've heard of fluvoxamine, ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine. There are many, many others now, including those that we're working with (famotidine and celecoxib) that seem to have therapeutic benefit when administered early to shut down this hyperinflammatory response.

So, he shared this and the stories of multiple reports of vaccine adverse events that in his clinical judgment were clearly vaccine related, some of them quite serious, and that the Canadian government would summarily dispose of those as non-related even though in his clinical judgment, they clearly were related.

He spoke about the enticement of children in Canada with ice cream and the willingness of the Canadian government to administer vaccine to children without their parents or guardians consent after enticing them with ice cream cones, and some of the other things that I just found shocking ...

It mirrors what we're seeing across the world, where governments are taking liberties with people's health and their rights without real legislative authorization to do so in most cases."

Core Bioethical Principles Are Being Violated

Malone and his wife Jill are both trained in bioethics, so after listening to this Canadian colleague, he decided he could help by writing a lay press opinion piece about the bioethics of experimental vaccines under emergency use authorization.

"I have intimate knowledge of not only the emergency use authorization legislation, the FDA policies behind it, I even know the people that wrote it," Malone says.

"So, we dove in, refreshed our memories on the whole history of the modern bioethics construct that briefly runs from Nuremberg Trials to the Nuremberg Code, to Helsinki Accord, to the Belmont Report in the United States, and to the common rule that exists in the code of federal regulations."

In summary, since the COVID shots only have emergency use authorization status, they are experimental products, and as such, they are not authorized for marketing. The core bioethical principles that apply therefore involve three key components:

1. Bioethics are written into federal law — As an experimental trial participant, which is what everyone is at the moment who accepts a COVID shot, you have the right to receive full disclosure of any adverse event risks. Based on that disclosure, you then have the right to decide whether you want to participate.

Adverse event risk disclosure should be provided at the level of detail disclosed in any drug package insert. However, the COVID shots have no such insert or detailed disclosure, and adverse event reports are even being suppressed and censored from the public.

Instead, as explained by the FDA,4 since the COVID shots are not yet licensed,5 rather than providing a package insert, the FDA directs health care providers to access a lengthy, online "fact sheet" that lists both clinical trial adverse events and ongoing updates of adverse events reported after EUA administration to the public.

A shorter, separate, online fact sheet with far less information in it is available for patients — but, provider or patient, you still have to know where to look up each of the three EUA vaccines separately on the FDA website to access those fact sheets.6

2. Adverse event risks must be communicated in a way that you can comprehend what the risks are — This means the disclosure must be written in eighth grade language. In clinical trials, researchers must actually verify participants' comprehension of the risks.

3. The acceptance of an experimental product must be fully voluntary and uncoerced — enticement is forbidden. "I argue that all of this public messaging that we've all been bombarded with … constitutes coercion," Malone says.

"The most egregious example of this that I've ever seen, is the federal government identifying 12 people … and labeling them as the dirty dozen, [saying] that they are responsible for causing death because they are disseminating what the government has determined to be misleading information about vaccines. This is mind boggling to me and to most of my colleagues."

How Falsehoods Are Getting Top Billing

As you probably know, I am on that "disinformation dozen" list. The irony of this situation is that government officials are really the ones contributing to the deaths by not adhering to bioethical principles that are enshrined in law. It's a classic case of 1984 Orwellian doublespeak.

As I mention in the interview, the "misinformation dozen" list is the creation of the Center for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH), a shady organization funded by dark money that sprung up less than two years ago.

"Yeah, you don't even have to go to dark money. It's out in the open. There's this Trusted News Initiative led by the BBC. They announced … last fall that they have integrated Big Tech, Big Media and new media, Facebook, Google, Microsoft, et cetera, into an organization that was intended to control false narratives relating to elections, but they decided to turn it on what they perceived as false narratives for vaccines," Malone says.

"As if that wasn't enough, the Wellcome Trust and the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation have announced initiatives where they're making block grants to Facebook, which is then funding these new pop-up fact-checker organizations … [that] are employing methods to smear people and to ban information …

What happens is these fact-checker organizations will make their pseudo fact check, like what I experienced with Reuters — which was transparently false, their fact check — and then the media will recycle the fact check. So that moves up in the Google ranking and they're citing themselves. That's what's going on. And it's sponsored by the likes of Wellcome Trust and Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and they're quite proud of it."

Why Target Children and Pregnant Women?

Considering the unknown risks involved, why are governments and vaccine makers pushing so hard for children and pregnant women to participate in this experiment? Both have an extremely low risk for complications from COVID-19, which makes adverse effects of the vaccine all the more unacceptable, if not all together intolerable.

There's the appearance that there was manipulation of safety data analysis and reporting in the Phase 1, 2, 3 clinical trials … by focusing on patients who had completed the study per protocol, as opposed to those that entered the study as intended to treat. [If] you've only accepted one dose of vaccine under those clinical trial protocols and you have an adverse event … that information about the adverse event … is lost. It's not included in the safety analysis. This is a classic way to manipulate safety data in clinical research, and it's strictly forbidden. ~ Dr. Robert Malone

Making matters worse, there's no process in place to capture all side effects. Somehow, this was left out, and there's evidence to suggest this was done intentionally.

"I think it's important for the listenership to recognize that what we have is still an emerging understanding of what the adverse events are," Malone says. "I could tell you the story of how the cardiotoxicity adverse event was recognized, and it was not through official channels. There is [also] the appearance that the CDC is deliberately under-reporting adverse events to the public.

And there's the appearance that there was manipulation of safety data analysis and reporting in the Phase 1, 2, 3 clinical trials for some of these products by focusing on patients who had completed the study per protocol, as opposed to those that entered the study as intended to treat.

That's a subtle distinction, but what it means is that if you've only accepted one dose of vaccine under those clinical trial protocols and you have an adverse event, and you decide to drop it out, or they gently suggest that you shouldn't take the second dose, that information about the adverse events that you received — which would have made you at even higher risk for the second dose — is lost. It's not included in the safety analysis.

This is a classic way to manipulate safety data in clinical research, and it's strictly forbidden. So, the FDA is onto that trick. Normally, if I was to do that, I would get slapped down immediately. Why they allow these large drug companies to do this (if, in fact they did) — and you can't claim that Pfizer didn't know what they were doing — is beyond me.

Now that we know about the adverse events associated with the cardiotoxicity in adolescents and the damage to the heart and the deaths associated with that, people can start to do calculations based on official CDC data, [but] those data are flawed.

They probably under-report the true adverse event rate by about a 100-fold if you're relying on the various historic analysis information. But you can look at those data. And if you're a data scientist, you can do the calculations that the CDC is not doing and not disclosing to us about risk benefit.

The ones that I've seen done by well-trained and highly experienced specialists, people that work for the insurance industry that do this for a living … come out literally upside down."

If the clinical trials did not include patients dropped after Dose 1 in the safety analysis, this would indicate a "per protocol" safety analysis was performed, and therefore that the safety data analyses leading to the emergency use authorizations were not based on rigorous safety assessments.

Multiple patients claiming to have been included in COVID-19 clinical trials have also reported on social media that their reports were excluded from final safety analyses, although this cannot be verified.

Risks Significantly Outweigh Benefits

A study7 posted July 7, 2021, which looked at deaths occurring in children in the U.K. during the first 12 months of the pandemic, found 99.995% of children diagnosed with COVID-19 survived.

By July 19, 2021, in the United States, a total of 335 children under 18 had died with a COVID-19 diagnosis on their death certificate.8 An analysis by Marty Makary and colleagues at Johns Hopkins, together with FAIR Health, showed none of the children under 18 who died and were diagnosed with COVID-19 between April and August 2020 were free of preexisting medical conditions such as cancer.9

Now, while the average healthy child has a minuscule chance of dying from COVID-19, and their risk of developing heart inflammation from the COVID jab is also quite low, the risk associated with the injection is still significantly greater than any risk associated with the natural infection. As explained by Malone:

"That ratio comes out suggesting that there will be more lives lost to receipt of the 'vaccine' in a universal vaccine campaign than there would be if all those kids were infected by SARS-CoV-2. This upside-down ratio appears to extend or very close to equivalent at least up to the age of 30.

So, we're in a position where the data that we have are admittedly flawed. Is that by intent or what? From my standpoint, the data are the data, so I can't smoke out what somebody within health and human services intended to do, but I can look at the data, and others can.

And the data absolutely do not support a positive risk-benefit ratio for vaccination of infants through young adults, based on any normal criteria. So then why are they doing this crazy stuff? It seems to all be wrapped around the axle of the need to justify universal vaccination.

I argue that this is actually a mid-century policy that goes back to the '50s and the '60s polio vaccine campaign, when the government and world health authorities established a position that it was OK to lie, to withhold information about risk for vaccines, because to have the full spectrum of information about the risks of vaccines would cause people to not accept the vaccine.

So, 'Shut up, we know it's best for you and don't question us' is a firmly authoritarian position. It is intrinsically authoritarian and paternalistic. It's exactly the kind of stuff that George Orwell wrote about in his book '1984.' It was a warning … of how governments and authoritarian structures will behave and do behave."

Denial of Vaccine Dangers Has Been Federal Policy Since 1984

Ironically, Malone points out that in the 1984 Federal Register,10 it's stated that posting information into the federal register about vaccine risks that jeopardizes vaccine I uptake shall be suppressed.

"So, it's a clear federal policy going back to 1984," Malone says. "This is the way they're going to handle things. And they're going to handle it with the noble lie of saying, 'No, there are no risks and what we're doing is fully justified' …

I don't think we have to go to imagining some grand conspiracy at Davos between certain individuals. I think this is an emergent phenomena of the intersection of old-school thinking about information management and new-school capabilities and technologies.

I think the CDC, HHS, WHO, and Wellcome Trust or Bill & Melinda Gates foundation, etcetera, have just grossly misread the population, certainly in the United States. And so now we're in a position where before, according to Del Bigtree, there was about 1% to 2% of people that self-identified as anti-vaxxers, and we're now [above] 40%. Clearly, about 40 to 50% of the population are just dug in. They're not going to accept these vaccines.

The White House now finds it necessary to have a special group to identify and target 12 American citizens for what they believe to be vaccine disinformation, and to make a big public press announcement about it. Don't they have anything else to do? It seems like the world has got bigger problems than Dr. Mercola, but what do I know?

The whole thing is mind-bending. And a lot of people, including many Europeans, are really lit up over this. They remember. European intellectuals are very aware of the dynamics that happened in Germany in the 1930s … I think this could be a turning point in a lot of things."

The Powers That Be Have Been Given Free Reign

While Malone is not interested in speculating about the intentions behind all this malfeasance, he's intimately familiar with the power of Big Pharma to manipulate governments. As detailed in other articles, several of the COVID injection makers have a rich history of illegal activity and unethical behavior, and now they have been given free reign to do as they please.

They're been completely absolved from liability if and when something goes wrong with these injections, and governments are enticing and bullying citizens to participate in Big Pharma's experiment.

"If you give that kind of liberty and power to a global multinational and absolve them of any accountability, they will serve their stockholders," Malone says. "They are not geared to serving the rest of us, whatever they may say in their press releases.

That's just how big pharma behaves, and we've chosen this model. Messaging having to do with alternative treatments and the importance of wellness, those are not consistent with the 'Take this pill, pay your price and shut up' kind of business model.

Personally, I think that Mr. Gates and his foundation have done enormous irreparable harm to world health community through his actions and his own personal biases. He has really distorted global public health. At some point, there will be books written about this, and I'm sure an enormous number of Ph.D. theses will be granted. But meanwhile, we all have to live with it."

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lilmajorshawty · 5 years

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Saturn In the Houses : Where Are You Years Ahead Of Your Time

Saturn In the First House : The Mountain Snake

(Resident Evil Retribution - Flying Through The Air)

Saturn in the first house is all about world, and how it views them. now in saying this i don’t mean in a conceded sense nor do i mean that they only prioritize themselves in the way others view them or experience them, rather, these natives have a indomitable drive to be seen as both an intellectual and someone of class and deem-able respect. They strive to build on their own and have no trouble carrying the load on their own, in fact this trait is so pronounced that they actually find it impossible to rely on others no matter how impossible the task. this placement of Saturn can make the warrior spirit more grounded and earthy in it’s appeal by giving these natives a rugged and rather stoic look. the men can sport rough facial hair and gorgeously dim faces with arches and ridges that seem to structure the face like fine wine. the women can be beautiful, sporting a strong head of hair and often the hair is unruly or rater natural in it’s expression. the eyes for men and women here are piercing and can seem to stare past your soul. they age as if they’ve been swimming in the fountain of youth which is saying that they age faster in youth and slower as they get older. They are incredibly ambitious and many of them set a lot of stepping stones for others around them with their rather impulsive and direct manner of creating a life for themselves. they don’t wait for the world to give them a sign, rather they make one. they can have an outwardly cold and stoic energy that seems both intimidating and detached to those who are viewing them for the first time. many of these natives have a jarring and rather complex energy and can often carry the energy of someone carrying a burden as old as time itself. they say this placement is associated with a past life in battle, but many fights fought in the past allow this native now in their present life to structure the violence, anger, wrath and passion of the past life. they can become more merciless and driven as they age, willing to do what is necessary at any cost. they are lovely to have on your side in times of crisis and dangerous to have as an enemy. they are never going to be set back by any amount of malice or short comings and dare i say that is one of their most freighting aspects, they cannot be defeated. these natives tend to take a while to build their sense of self but once they do it’s unbreakable and they will and shall preserve over all of the set backs in their life. The desire to reach the highest of heights is at their forefront and their ability to use strands and straws to build a temple or a grand spectral of architecture is one of their finest traits.

Who has It : Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Monica Bellucci, Russell Crowe, John Lennon, Cher, Alexander the Great, Ellen De Generes. Kesha, Usher.

Motto :

“Even if i must drag my fragmented bones through the wet mud, even if i must tear my limbs from this body, even if i loose my sight, my hearing and my soul, i shall annihilate all who stand in the way of My truth”

Key Expression : Ruthlessness, Self reliance, Tenacious, Hungry, Self critical, Emotionally Unavailable.

Saturn In the Second House : The African Rock Python

(Resident Evil Afterlife - The Outsider(Reholder Apocalypse Mix)

Saturn in the second house is something a bit more quiet and seldom. These people are calculating and extremely intelligent. the mind is often cautiously taking note, watching, understanding and digging. they are pragmatic and business oriented both literally and metaphorically speaking. they place a serious eye and value over the things they possess and hold a rather uncompromising and blunt image of themselves and their self worth which makes it incredibly hard for them to jump into any type of friendship or relationship “unless” they deem themselves as worthy or ready for that matter for something of that nature. They take intimacy and relating to others seriously and can at times seem very distant and short when they address others. to these natives the home they need to focus on maintaining is that of their own inner realm. they don’y care for lavish clothing, they want something that will stand the test of time. they don’t care for quantity, they crave something that can maintain it’s bountiful and rather serene look through and through. they are not ones to sugar coat disasters or short comings in their personality and because of this can take on a rather cruel or mean view towards themselves. they feel a strong desire for inner equilibrium and have a hard time adjusting to society or the world around them when they are internally imbalanced. as lovers they can be SERIOUS. they are are not immediately affectionate which may through people off on the onset of courting stages. they show their interest by making time for you and being dependable and consistent, aside from that they keep a steady face and remain loyal and very dedicated to their unions albeit more difficult than most when it comes to introducing psychical intimacy. These natives are also very reclusive and self invested, though this isn’t in an arian self invested way, it’s more so a self preservation way. they need to feel secure and fight long and hard to create security in themselves first before they look for it in other people. They might seem aloof or impersonal to the naked eye but deep down they are massively sympathetic to an almost tragic level for the woes of others. they genuinely care for people but can be very closed and inward about this. sexually they are passionate and deeply sensual, but these natives will not initiate intimacy or sex unless they are stable on a mental and emotional level as they place their well being and the persons above all else before actively making moves towards deepening or satisfying their needs. these natives are normally shy, timid and quiet. they normally like and need time to recharge from the public. The voices can often be raspy and low/stretched in a way as if the natives are tired. the neck is often small or short and thick. in my experience men and women here are very self aware.

Who Has It : Jesus Christ, Brad pitt, Kanye West, Justin timberlake, Prince, Jennifer Lawarence, Mark Zuckerberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger, jessica alba, Mila jovovich

motto :

“When everything lay to waste, their will be no lover, no mother, no children, no sky, no sea, their shall be only me and where i to have no peace with me, i too would become the ruin”

Key expression: Quiet, isolated, personal, emotionally heavy, very guarded, Loyal to their detriment.

Saturn In The Third House : The Rattlesnake

(Bjork - Army Of Me Sucker Punch Remix)

Saturn in this house can produce someone with a rather complex mind. Information is dispensed in such a way that it can be rather difficult for these natives to learn in school via the ordinary means. these natives may even in some cases have a hard time multi-tasking or working on other things whilst in school due to how much of their mental faculties are eaten up when they focus on one thing. these natives also sport a immense reservoir of memory and spatial awareness skills. they can piece things together or pieces of information from bits and pieces of fragmented knowledge. the rather unnerving thing about this position is the incredible minds that these natives have, their minds move fundamentally different from the rest of us, even more so then Uranus or mercury here information is packaged and tossed deep in the brain where it festers and bunches up with other mental storage. these natives can almost be a walking photo camera the older they get as Saturn here rewards study, and effort put into memorization. the natives often keep things short and sweet and refrain from digging to deep or revealing to much when they are speaking to others. their incredibly mature and wise and can easily convey emotions or feelings without the use of very many words at all. they are truly masters of language and can navigate through words and mannerisms quick enough to decipher your intent and inner workings at the drop of a hat. these natives possess a keen interest in deepening their mental capacity and tend to be advent readers, conspiracy theorist or the types to watch documentaries and or find learning and researching history and ancient mythos(especially roman and Greek). The men and women can sport rather small/fragile hands and a rather constrained or slow manner of speaking. in many cases the eyes can be alluring but cold, they seem impersonal or rather calm with a sadness. these natives are very self critical of their academic habits and can be vulnerable in this area but as they age it becomes their greatest area of talent. these natives can loathe meaningless chit chat and very rarely indulge in it unless it makes sense for the circumstance they happen to be in.

Who Has it : Steve Jobs, Justin bieber, Kylie Jenner, Bjork, Bruce Willis, Jake gyllenhall, tom hanks, penelope cruz, Matt damon

motto:

“ I wish for the day my presence is that of the written word. i angst for the day of paint and scroll held above cloud, where the spoken and the scribbling of said to be madmen and women illuminate all in the blackness of the hour”

Key phrases: Detached, Strange, Poetic, Blunt, short and low paced speech, Sad eyes. mental boredom.

Saturn In The Fourth House : The Copperhead snake

(Florence And the Machine - Seven Devils)

Saturn in the fourth house is something that feels like a massive weight on ones inner world, your core, your vulnerability locked away like some sacred prisoner of the odalisque. This placement often makes these natives emotionally closed, stoic and very emotionally unavailable. these natives don’t spill or open up, not at bonfires or community gatherings, not at family reunions or to long time lovers rather they keep a huge portion of their inner world deeply nestled and hidden away in their heart of hearts. These natives can have a streak for coldness and and even larger one for emotional distance which i might add isn’t something that is done out of self protection or manipulation rather it’s a very deep unconscious wound that these natives carry with them from a past life. wounds of a unimaginable level were placed on the natives, these wounds can be rooted to family as well even when the home life is well. these natives cannot shake the heavy and almost suffocating presence of being home, the parents the family and at times the home itself. these natives may not truly feel comfortable or “themselves” unless they are away from home or home alone away from others. these natives loathe a breach in their privacy and because of this a great deal of them is practically a mystery due to how little of themselves they are actually okay with divulging. it can take them years and sometimes decades before they feel comfortable enough to open up with you about their emotions and this is something that can carry on for quite sometime. These natives do have very deep and very structured emotions that are well beyond their years. they grew up quickly on a mental and emotional level and it’s something you can see in their actions and decisions. these natives can be worries and suffer from extensive bouts of depression and societal isolation especially if Saturn is harshly aspected. these natives can go into what i like to call hibernation periods in which they go missing or disengage from society for periods of time and depending on who you are, you might not hear from them for quite a bit. these natives are almost nomadic like and seem to have a rather serious and intense relationship with their emotional realm. they want to be truly seen and understood on a deep emotional level but they often realize that their emotional nature is so complex and deep that it can be hard to find that understanding. compassion and intimacy are hallmarks of their true nature but are also aspects you might never see in them until they make the choice to make it so. the chest for the women with this placement unless having Venus, moon or a naturally watery or earth sign on the cusp tend to be rather petite. while men here can also have a rather fragile and or boney chest. these natives may have a very serous family as the IC rules family heritage. so the family could be hardworking and very critical. These natives can also be remarkably ambitious and deeply grounded people deep down no matter how lighthearted and unpredictable they may seem with other placements in their chart. these natives despite their deep seriousness have a very caring and emotive nature and a love for nature and all people but they also in a sense lack the means to express this.

Who Has It: Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Tom cruise, Drake, Gwen Stefani, Ashton Kutcher, john travolta, Yoko ono

Motto:

“ I’ve been locked away with my demons for such a time now that i too have become them, but I've also claimed the lantern god left so fervently”

Key Phrase: Intense, Cold, Sympathetic, Nurturing, Provider, Stoic, Closed off.

Saturn In The Fifth House: The Forest Cobra

(The Rocket Builder - Johann Johannsson)

In The case of Saturn in the 5th one is always catered to the question, to love or to isolate. these natives can struggle with the idea of children, the concept of innocence and the childlike ignorance to the hardships of life almost seem like a unthinkable medium to them. in reality despite their rather stoic and tempered view towards children, children are no less motivated to be around these natives. these natives inspire youth and can have quite the powerful effect on the motivations and aspirations of children. these natives see a limit to themselves while the rest of the world sees color and something intangible, like gold and god. these natives have a strong romantic nature but one that is old and timeless like the sands of time. they don’t open their heart easily nor do they seek commitment or sexual expression for the sake of self validation, they need depth and true consistency to commit to anyone otherwise the journey is meaningless. these natives have a very tragic and often times harsh relationship with self expression. either they are incredibly artistic or they are unconsciously limiting these talents. if there is any representation i could use i would compare these natives to the angels. they are very spiritual and innately 4D types who constantly dissociate and travel amongst dimensions making them seem rather jaded or strangely misaligned. these natives read vibrations more than they do words and actions and can often be very quick to annihilate a bond or situation the moment they sense a fallacy in the way your energy is being dispensed. intimacy and sex is often reserved for long time lovers and is very rarely, if at all something these natives spend their time begging the stars for. they are never short of admirers or sexual invitations due to being preserved as “hard to get” but the actuality is that they spend more time protecting their inner sense of peace then they do capitalizing on superficial tropes. these natives are extremely patient and slow with their works and can work on projects for years. having children is normally something these natives postpone until later in life, and if they do have them young it’ll be an area of constant growth until later in life as parenting might not be an immediate skill. dating runs slow and can be rather shy and quiet in the start but much like Lilith here these natives tend to marry the people they date or meet in the realm of the 5th house due to the longevity of Saturn.

Who Has It : Shakira, Bill gates, Heath ledger, Chris brown, Bruce lee, Mel Gibson, Emma stone, Isaac Newton, Mike Tyson, Niall Horan.

Motto:

“ Everything good in this world takes getting used to.”

Key Phrase: Deep, Earthy, Sensuous, curious, Blunt, isolated, free, inspiring, devoted, persistent, giving, understanding, forgiving.

Saturn In The Sixth House : The Pit Viper Snake

( West-world Soundtrack - This World)

Saturn In the 6th House Can create a native who is the high end architect of both their life and the life of others. they build, they build the scene, the work environment, they build their health, they build their reputation and their fundamentals as if it were all parts of one big house. they have a deep inner grounded sense of stability and home that often makes them seem unphased or rather lacking in emotional turbulence when dealing with others or even in some ways with themselves. they don’t acknowledge weaknesses in themselves and in a darker twist of fate they go to great lengths to eliminate any short comings both emotionally and physically that they deem toxic or unhealthy to their well being. for this reason these natives normally are remarkably fit and steer clear of any major aliments. this is for good reason as these natives tend to hold on to sickness for a while once it makes its way into the body. this can mean prolonged fights with colds that last well over their designated time or sometimes in some cases this can mean damage to the joints or bones. that being said Saturn here works hard to repair the body anytime scenarios like this do come about. these natives work incredibly hard and even if Saturn is afflicted here these natives are able to remain remarkably steady and grounded in their daily lives. these natives tend to plan quite a bit and can have a hard time dealing with people or situations that lack a plan or a sort of well rehearsed background. schooling can also be a source of irritation as these natives can be incredibly picky on how they prefer to be taught. teachers with quirks or little nuances in their teaching tend to cause these natives irritation as their isn’t a stable or straight forward approach in this teaching style. these natives are very reasonable when it comes to others but they also value their Independence and sense of self highly so they can be incredibly hard to tie down or create a long lasting union with due to how high of a bar they’ve set for themselves. don’t be mistaken, it’s not that these natives are arrogant rather it’s that these natives place a special value on loving the self before you’re able to love anyone else. They may want bonds or love, but they need stability and true heartfelt connectivity before they can even fathom the depth of such a connection with another person. their co-workers are often serious, grounded and mature types who have high plans for their future. they often inspire the native to rise in ranks or in positions. these natives tend to navigate away from people who are co-dependent or emotionally weak. they can have an aura of toughness and seem rather unapproachable but it’s really just that these natives feel the inner desire to carry themselves with respect and caution to the outside world. their bone structure similar to Saturn in the 10th house is incredibly well made and proportioned. the hips and lower spine can be arched in a rather coiled snake like manner. the skin can also be oily for many with this placement. the stomach is very strong and these natives usually are blessed with a good digestive system which(is great for acne and emotional stress levels.) another side note is that these natives NAP a lot. they tend to be easily worn out or tired due to Saturn low energy levels.

Who has it : Lady gaga, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Aniston, Keanu reeves, Amy Winehouse, Lindsey Lohan, Orlando Bloom, Adele, Jimi hendrix, Demi lovato

Motto :

“ Order outside will generate order inside.”

Key Phrase: Mesmerizing, commanding, Astute, tempered, sloths, bored

Saturn In The Seventh House : Eastern Green Mamba Snake

(Annihilation Ost - The Alien )

relationships play out in a rather heavy manner for these natives, be it years in the making or be it that they themselves can’t readily open up to the opportunity. Saturn here acts as the father, in spirit it halts the sphere of connectivity between these natives and the people they interact with in a shadow sense. these natives may notice that people view them in a serious manner or suddenly may become more intense and more stoic in their presence. the honest truth is that Saturn here surrounds the environment in this candid and rather suffocating weight. mind you this is not bad at all, it’s only Saturn ensuring that the energy and the people brought into these natives lives is real, honest and pure in intention. that being said these natives have a natural guardian that brings the shadows to light, be it addictions, crime, manipulation, and so forth. Saturn here works for the individual by showing them the bad in others, the real part of others, the honest aspect of others in order to help these natives grow. connections can be difficult to form because it seems as though everyone is running away from these natives which isn’t so far from the truth. i’ll be honest in saying Saturn energy scares some people due to how deep and intense it really can be. it forces everyone to confront a side of themselves they might not have ever considered before and it also forces everyone to mature and face the music. this is not bad at all, rather these natives are blessed with the ability to attract the very real and bare versions of people instead of their performances, or their masks...these natives get to see behind the curtain and this is their superpower. dating can be hard as the typical fun flirting is absent until a later part of the relationship. Saturn does things backwards here and forces the more deep and heavy aspect of relating to someone else to come up first before the more lighthearted and playful part. the reason being is Saturn wants that deep and guarded intimacy, the kind people build stories utop of. so due to this Saturn doesn’t mind to reverse roles and cause a longer courting stage if it means true connections and bonds being formed. forming friendships or even any type of relationship for that matter can take years or months depending on Saturn well being aspect wise. these natives prefer long lasting unions and usually get that. the marriage is often very resilient and deeply fulfilling for the natives! they often marry very loving and nurturing despite the partners serious and stoic nature. these natives are also on the more serious side themselves even though they might not see it in within them. they tend to have more petite butts that can be on the more angular side of things. Saturn makes the butt look great here even if it might be on the smaller side. it really depends on the other planets here though. the partner will often have Saturn in their chart or in aspect to their natal planets. it’s also common to attract someone with strong 10th house energy. Saturn here makes things petite and since the 7th house rules the pelvis and buttocks, one can have a very well shaped butt and may even have a lovely structure to it as well. relationships can be very handwork here but they are incredibly rewarding and these natives should always wait to marry if they can or make sure that the person you’re marrying has strong Saturn contacts to you. That being said they are very loving and tender people despite their rather cool and aloof outward energy.

Who has it: Johnny Depp, Kurt Cobain, Christina Aguilera, Selena Gomez, Eminem, David Bowe, Ryan gosling, Jud Law, Sylvester Stallone, Gerad Butler

Motto :

“I was already on the other side, i had been there from the start like a cold reflection in cement...i was already there.”

Key phrases : Intense, depressive, closed, tense, anxious, stable, steady, rigorous, emotionally unavailable(in the beginning), transparent.

Saturn In The Eighth House : The Black Mamba Snake

(West-World Soundtrack - This world)

with Saturn in the Eighth house the native can feel like a disconnected, fragmented disarray. They may not easily confide in others and can have an extended “getting to know each other” stage with seemingly no ending in sight. These natives can seem detached and extremely emotionally absent especially in moments where emotional softness and kindness may be necessary. These natives do not mean to seem this way, it’s sadly just that in many cases these natives where put last as far as emotions go and due to earlier experiences these natives have learned to barricade their true feelings and vulnerabilities behind a steel door. Pushing them to hard to open up to soon often makes them shut down and place a superficial mask to make the invasion go away. These natives are keen on human nature and know how to pretend and play the naive or weak minded role that the people ask of them. beneath this facade lies a strong energy, a seemingly intangible reservoir of depth and intensity that would make Pluto, Hades and Lilith cower. These natives grapple with the idea of power and it’s place in their life and the lives of others. They may shift between vulnerable and innocent to dominant and wise. This is actually a prelude to the expression of their sexuality, they tend to derive their pleasure of BDSM and or more aggressive and control themes in sexual encounters because of their ociliating nature. they associate sexual expression and their desire for it in a complex way. on one end they hate their sexual desires and wish to repress them and on the other hand the repression creates an almost animalistic desire for “TRUE” sexual expression. For this reason these natives tend to have the most powerful, earthy sexual drive of the zodiac. Sex for them is something that is flesh to flesh, true intimacy and relating and something they cannot and will not just have with anyone. they can also be very hard to get intimate with because of hoe seriously they take revealing that hidden aspect of themselves. these natives can be very dark and have a sort of heaviness to their nature that seeps out here and there as an ominous or heavy serious air. They loathe superficiality but they feed it to the people they interact because they secretly fear their true nature is boring, stagnate and far to intense for people to handle. they can handle finances very seriously and no matter how afflicted Saturn is, these natives take time to grow money and are cautious about any inheritance or scams. they aren’t the types to spend money on others unless you’ve earned their trust and loyalty, till then they can seem cheap and Grinch like about money usage. they can last for hours in sex and have stamina unheard of, in men and women the size of the genitals can be small or Tight for women. in men it can make the member small but this isn’t always the case especially if other planets are here, the sign on the cusp and aspects to Saturn itself. These natives will live long lives and may outlive their partners. The desire for the real and honest aspects of life are real and these people can be very turned off by immaturity or a lack of stability in any of their interactions. a strange thing here is that Saturn from this spot ages the whole chart so it can cause other planetary placements to act more mature or less lighthearted even if Saturn is not touching them.

Who has it: Martin Luther King, Jay-Z, Kristen Stewart, Robert Downey Jr, Khloe Kardashian, Salvador Dali, Michael Jordan, Virgin Mary, Michael Fassbender, Dwayne Johnson, Frida kahlo, Henry cavil, Franklin D Roosevelt, Liz Greene

Motto :

“Power is Power”

Key phrases: Concrete, sensual, Horny, intellectual, dark, melancholic, sorrow, the maid/The Military general duality, intensity, DEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Saturn In The Ninth House : The Jamesons Mamba

(The Gazelle Twins - The Entire City)

With Saturn in the ninth house the term Maneater comes into mind. these natives can have a rampaging mind. they are often dancing between ideals and philosophies and working tirelessly to give them footing, grounding or a sense of transparency. they may maintain an air of stoicism or clandestine projection when they express their values and interpretations of faith but it’s merely because they themselves feel as though believing in some un-palpable force is like playing Russian roulette. they want some sort of grounding and reliability in the “word” and “pen” and because of this they approach these matters with seriousness and intensity as they seek to find the source of the matter. These natives can be relatively to them selves at university and college and might even major in law or seek to pioneer their own business or work in architecture as these natives have quite the eye for beauty and reconstruction due to how differently their minds operate. the natives are tenacious and a tad abrasive when expressing their disdain or disapproval of faulty belief systems in others and it can be a deal breaker for them if your beliefs fail to meet them in the middle in some way. They tend to have a strong desire to learn, understand and register information. in many ways Saturn can make the thighs smaller or more petite but the shaping and angular standing of the thighs to hip will be amazing. their is an earthy look to the individuals and longer more ruffled looks are common in men and shorter more androgynous looks are preferred for the women. their can be a closed or serious nature towards experimentation and towards luck as these natives feel like one should never solely rely on luck to make things pan out. these natives because of this tend to be go getters and can place quite a bit of passion and drive into much of their efforts which often wins them admiration and respect from those who watch in the shadows. these natives can constantly stay working or struggle with giving themselves a brake but for a good cause as these natives tend to do remarkable in their college endeavors. their oversee voyages tend to be a serious event and the encounters they have can leave a huge mark on them emotionally, they tend to travel seldom when younger and this increases following the nearing of the Saturn return. these natives can feel powerful and don’t hold on to people or situations as to them people and situations change all the time, why waste time that could be spent working, growing and thriving on a choice that fell through the cracks in a carefully made bridge only continuing to grow in size.

Who Has it: Rihanna, Hillary Clinton, Julia Roberts, Uma Thurman, Nicki Minaj, 14th Dalai Lama, Prince William, Prince Harry(explains their controversial Interracial marriages), Jared leto, Paul McCarthy

Motto :

“The Fire Never Goes out”

Key Phrases: Keen, ardent, impatient, BLUNT, impulsive, critical, private, compassionate, REAL

Saturn In The Tenth House : The King Cobra Snake

(The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?)

These natives are the epitome of Saturn, the ooze it, they embody it they express it like an extension of their spiritual being and for that reason they can seem like an authoritative energy without even trying. People respect them, but people also fear them the same way we fear our boss, our parents, our obligations, our shortcomings or our real self. They are stable at the core and very easily lay the stepping stones necessary to achieve, though with Saturn's energy here success often does come later in life but when it does it is usually following very rigorous work and dedication from the individual in question. These natives are competitive but in a very quiet and restrained way, for them coming in second place or being told it was “good” or hearing the words “i enjoyed..” irritates them. They in a sense care little for public validation, and more about their own ability to surpass the limitations they set for themselves. they tend to treat life and it’s circumstances like a game of cards, and can often have a manipulative or “business as usual” approach when it comes to dealing with the public or confidants. To them unless it had to do with the work, the quality, or the means of the end, they’d rather not waste their time. These natives can be advent global warming fighters, as this position creates a very strong tie to the earth itself. these natives care deeply about the animals and the environment and can be very aggressive and even volatile towards people who fail to treat the environment with respect. these natives often dress to impress and even when they’re dressing down they have this patriarch like air to them as if the world was waiting for them to arrive. these natives have a swagger to them, as if they have the whole room gripping and swaying to their movement. Their is a strong need to dissociate and disappear with this placement so often these natives can go MIA for days or weeks at a time depending on what wave of melancholy or project has them all caught up now. These natives have beautiful smiles and can have incredible bone structures. They do care about how they are portrayed by the media or by others in public so they tend to keep a low profile. These natives can be very frank and tel you how it is, so if you are sensitive you might want to keep it short with them. These natives tend to be drawn to fashion, Acting, ,modeling, directing, and so on. In fact Saturn on the MC or in aspect to the MC is common amongst models and or designers. the ability to make money and capital out of nothing but water and a dog bone is strong as shit here and these natives will indeed outsell, outsway, out publish, out swim, and overall outdo you with both legs and arms tied behind their back because they are literally just that driven. the impact they leave on the world lat decades and even ions after they’ve longed been buried in the soil.

Who has it: Michael Jackson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Albert Einstein, Adolf Hitler, Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, Leonardo DaVinci, Oprah Winfrey, Paris Hilton, Al Pacino, Celine dion, Bill Clinton, Mila kunis, James dean

Motto:

“I’d eat the nation if i could, I’ll eat the world because i can”

Key phrases: Mysterious, Distant, polite, imperialistic, ambitious, competitive, altruistic, Black Seminole

Saturn In The Eleventh House : The Atheris hispida Snake

(Cocteau twins - But Im Not )

These Natives can Be everything that opposes culture and societal up charge. They possess a strong spacious air to them as if they are this cosmic force on earth. They can be magnetic, prophetic, dark, enticing and deeply revolutionary. These natives have a natural talent for leadership and crowd attracting as they understand the intricate parts of human interaction, they understand the crowd, the outsiders because they themselves despise the insiders, the people pleasers and the followers. they aren’t the types to beg for acceptance but in their early years they often did, the spent their time trying so hard to fit in, to be welcomed and accepted but sadly they were rejected and often times bullied for their giving and loving nature. as these natives age they learn ruthlessness and they learn to express themselves no matter the recoil. they value people who are new, different and stable in their concept of “themselves.” Saturn is remarkably comfy in this house due to the fact that the 11th house and Aquarius are both co-ruled by Saturn. So these natives despite their electric and rather tethered nature can be serious, detached and highly dissociated from the world around them. they like the aloofness and lighthearted nature of connecting with others because it fulfills their need to understand, meet and converge. they actually despise people and are not very good at hiding it once an interaction that should’ve lasted a few days turns into something that becomes consistent. they can amputate relationships both romantic and platonic and even familial as if it were a house fly on their shoulder. They are not evil or cold, rather they just learned early on not to dig to deep into people or their intentions and as a result they keep a blockaded on their more compassionate and loving traits. these natives tend to be skeptics and harshly critical of civil rights movements or cultural uprisings in general because they hate crowd and mob mentality, to them any organized revolution needs grounding and a deeper meaning behind it’s efforts otherwise it’s childish and a waste of time. these natives also hold a great deal of their emotions within and because of this they can see,m unloving or out of reach to loved ones or friends even if it’s been years of knowing them. They tend to prefer authentic friendships and will bend over backwards for friends, lovers and so on so long as you prove to them your loyalty, patience and time. they wont open up for a while and can take years before they do and they’ll disappear and ghost you constantly till then because they’ve been hurt more than most in the area where most of us see our future and are most optimistic. they may seem pessimistic or stoic but it’s merely their desire for the truth and authenticity that causes this. they normally are very big on being ones true self and in the presence of people who struggle with this they can take on a colder air and seem rather unmoved or disgusted at the pity party. they are passionate but far away. the calves and ankles are often small and boney but very sturdy and sensual. The legs in general are amazing to look at.

Who has it: Donald trump, George Clooney, Cameron Diaz, Freddie Mercury, Natalie portman, Megan Fox, Cristiano Ronaldo, Pamela Anderson, Marlon Brando, robin Williams, Vincent Van Gogh, Charlize Theron, Charles Manson, Zac effron, Halle berry, Ryan reynolds, Joaquin Phoenix, Jessica Biel

Motto :

“I could stand in a room of millions gathered all for me and i’d still feel alone”

Key phrases: Lonely, detached(very), impersonal, electric, bubbly, frank, honest, Free spirit, dark, melancholy, mean spirited. compassionate and caring.

Saturn In The 12th House : The Spider-tailed horned viper Snake (Cocteau Twins - Alice)

Saturn in The 12th house can feel like a heavy weight on the soul, as if the soul’s been drained of it’s life force before it even took a breath. their is a constant feeling of exhaustion or need to recuperate. There can be periods of extreme anxiety, depression, manic episodes or heightened states of mental awareness and emotional energy and then suddenly “nada.” everything goes quiet and everything can seem like a empty opera room with a photo camera going off. there is a sense of being grounded but never really “expressing” or “feeling” this security in a tangible form. these natives can seem a bit disorganized, restless or moody upon meeting them, hell they may even seem like they’re hiding things or being fraudulent and or deceptive due to the blurry and rather incomplete personality they present. They are remarkably deep and have a immense empathetic nature that can make even the strongest of strong men buckle. they are very sweet but they are not always able to control when this side of them comes out. unfortunately their more serious and cautious nature blurs the line between duty, love, duty, relationships, duty, trauma, duty, and so on in a cycle. they can often be very private and reclusive, preferring to be alone with themselves or nature. they often have very beautiful inner worlds and can give so much of themselves to the environment and the world at large. They usually have a fine list of artistic abilities but it takes them time to bring them out into the world. art, singing, dancing, and so on are brilliant gate ways to expressing that inner burden in their hearts. These natives can constantly feel like there is an inner voice telling them they wont amount to anything or are not good enough which is often the main debilitating force for these natives. They are so kind and genuinely soft spirited and these natives have a hard time doing wrong as Saturn reminds them constantly off errors or short comings. These natives value the flaws just as much as the beauty in others and often push for a more accepting environment and world. these natives don’t see color, sexual orientation, or status which is often why they feel conflicted because Saturn feels like things need order and classification but the 12th house blurs those lines. Their can be trouble dreaming or in some cases dreams of being trapped, restricted or in a different body are common. The feet tend to be small :) but this is very cute! this placement can be hard for women as it makes them unable to differentiate the feeling of duty from pleasure which unconsciously places them into unhappiness or unhealthy expectations of themselves. For men it can be Even worse as it can lead to melancholy, depression and emotional confusion that being said we all have our battles and Saturn in the 12th housers are amazing because Saturn as they age teaches them to handle their mind, their mental health and their conscious self and soul. so they tend to have strong minds and comprehensive abilities even as they age. These natives tend to express an air of happiness and optomisim though on an outward level and for the most part you’ll never real know their struggles or pain because of how genuinely positive and good willed these people are.

Who has it: Barack Obama, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce knowles, Scarlett johnasson, Vladmir Putin, Mariah carey, Whitney Houston, Zayn malik, Will smith, Kendall jenner, Ben Affleck, tyra banks, Robert De Niro, Ted Bundy, George W. Bush

Motto :

“Deception is the only Felony”

Key Phrases : introspective, spiritual, hermit, persistent, tired, lazy, caught up in the past

Final Notes: If you look at the celebrities that share the particular Saturn placement you’ll notice familiarties with them, you’ll notice nuances and small call back of energy! this is why i find astrology so interesting, were all connected.

#Mine #saturn through the houses

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theatresteph · 4 years

Text

Is it healthy? Bellarke vs Clexa, as shown in 3x05 and 3x03

I was texting a friend about The 100 and Bellarke and Clexa, and basically I spiralled and wrote this whole thing by the end, so buckle up if you’re down 😂. And I’m going to make it clear now that, as much as I love discourse from different perspectives, I don’t tolerate rude comments, so be polite if you choose to respond. And it should go without saying that this post is Bellarke-biased, though my points are valid and true to canon.

This is a compare and contrast of two crucial scenes for Clexa and Bellarke, demonstrating how Clarke’s relationship with Bellamy is far more healthy than it ever was with Lexa. Through these essential scenes of character and relationship development, we can see the greatest example of the key difference between the relationships and why one is healthier for Clarke than the other.

(Pardon my essay-style tone here, I’ve been writing academic papers for over a week now and like the pattern)

And in case anyone chooses to bash this without even reading it, I’d like to make it clear that Clexa as a relationship did have it’s good moments and I talk about those as well.

When I compare what makes Bellarke healthy to what I think makes Clexa unhealthy (aside from A LOT of obvious things), I keep remembering 3x05.

Like Clexa in 3x03, they're at odds because of politics and Mt Weather and how this is the first time they've really spoken to each other since it happened. The most important similarity is that, in both conversations, a lot of blame is being placed on Clarke for Mt Weather, even though Lexa knows that it was her choice of accepting the deal that forced Clarke into that position, and Bellamy knows that every awful decision up-to and including pulling the lever (with his help) that he's throwing at her are choices that she didn't make lightly and that she made because she was pushed into the situation when all she wanted was a peaceful solution the entire time.

They both KNOW that she isn't entirely responsible for everything that happened, and they both know that she already blames herself, and adding to her pain by saying this to her isn't what she needs to forgive herself in the long run. But the difference? Lexa says it coldly and with extremely little emotion because, as she says, she needs something from Clarke, and reinforcing her guilt makes her want to continue being distant from her people and only be vulnerable with Lexa. And to be fair, I'm sure that some of this encouragement of her guilt was because she genuinely believed that it was in Clarke's interest to be harder and more Head like her, and it’s Lexa’s nature to be hard and extremely limited in expressing emotion, even to those she trusts, cares for and loves most, but it can't be forgotten that Lexa was actively hoping that Clarke would choose to stay with her in the tower, alone with her and distant from her people, helping in the war against Azgeda as a pawn. A powerful one, but still a minor player to serve Lexa.

But Bellamy... the difference is PROFOUND!

Everything he said to her, we know he didn't mean most of it, didn't want to add to her pain, but it was the explosion of everything he'd felt since they pulled the lever. He never got the chance to be angry with her about TonDC even though we know he understood why she did it, never got to tell her any of his feelings about the trauma of the mountain, and most of all, never got to work through pulling the lever because he couldn't do that without her, couldn't break down over it because he had to stay in Arkadia and take care of their people, like she asked him to, like he knew he had to because that's who he is. He couldn't do any of those things he needed to do desperately because she left him.

I'm positive he even hates himself inside for letting her go, for loving her so much that he, once again, disregarded his own wants and needs so that he could give her what she insisted she needed.

Loving her is why he let her go, why he didn't do everything he could to make her stay, or go with her, and when you add that anger and pain onto LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE, there came an inevitable point where he couldn't keep hiding it from her, and, like Octavia said later in the season, he was hurting and he lashed out, not just when he joined Pike after the Mt Weather bombing, but in this pivotal moment.

Honestly, the only way he held back in this scene was from outright saying "You were my partner, my best friend, the person I needed the most. I loved you, and YOU LEFT ME! I know why you did, and I couldn't bare to deny you what you needed, but what about what I needed, Clarke? I needed you, loved you, and you were gone. And for some fucked up reason, I STILL love you, but you don't get to come to me today and tell me what I need to do, or that YOU need ME, when you left me TWICE".

That’s where the original conversation ends about Bellarke. Using only these 2 scenes as a basis, it’s extremely obvious which relationship is healthier, but I’m not one of those people who watches scenes in isolation, and there are FAR more examples that exemplify why Clarke’s relationship with Bellamy has always been far more balanced than her relationship with Lexa, this is just the most crucial to me.

I can’t say that there is any period of Clexa’s relationship that I found healthy, because either there was a clear imbalance of power (most heavy in season 3 because Clarke is no longer the leader of Skaikru and staying in Polis to continue to run from her guilt and grief) or there’s a sense of manipulation or isolation in their interactions (e.g. TonDC). This is my opinion and I stand by it.

Every time I’ve rewatched the show in it’s entirety and their scenes in isolation, I can’t help but be bothered by the fact that so much (if not all) of their romantic moments occur when Clarke is feeling alone and distanced from her friends and family. I can’t emphasise enough how unhealthy and detrimental that is for Clarke! Loving someone just because no one else is able or willing to support you or relate to you is not indicative of a strong relationship.

I hated the master-student dynamic where Lexa was imparting her “wisdom” onto Clarke - the “love is weakness” bs being the most prevalent - because it elevates Lexa’s position while devaluing Clarke’s, as if she isn’t the most commanding person in all of Skaikru! This did change in the moment that is, in my opinion, the best of all Clexa scenes; the confrontation scene in 2x14. This is my favourite of their scenes together because it’s about Clarke reasserting herself and defending Octavia, her friend who, even though she just judged her for TonDC, she cares about and won’t let Lexa kill just because she is a risk to Lexa’s reputation. I love this scene because Clarke refuses to let Lexa dominate or coerce her to accept her position and calls her out on her facade of coldness. What makes this scene great is that it’s one of the few moments where I truly feel like Clarke is an equal in their relationship, and the fact that it doesn’t come off that way in most of their moments is telling of how lacking it is in balance.

I also have to point out that, in all of these moments except for when Clarke sends Bellamy into Mt Weather and chooses to stay in Polis (moments that feel more about Bellarke), Bellamy is absent, and not just that he’s not in the room, he’s actually well over a mile away, in a completely different place and position from her. One has to wonder whether this relationship would have been able to develop at all if Bellamy had been around to balance Clarke like he always does. I doubt it. Bellamy is canonically her best friend by the time she and Lexa meet, and yet this relationship happens during the times when he’s absent from her life, both times having pushed him away because either “love is weakness” or because she can’t face him while she’s in pain after Mt Weather. I said it before and I’ll say it again; a relationship that develops when you’re essentially isolated from your friends and family is unlikely to be a lasting one. I feel like I’ve made my point.

Now, I do want to state that the fact that I believe the relationship was mostly unhealthy does not mean that it had no value. On the contrary, it had a lot of value! Clarke learned a lot about herself and the kind of leader she wants to be, and Lexa was able to find love again after trauma convinced her that her feelings were dangerous and limiting. When they said goodbye and had sex in 3x07, they knew they were probably saying goodbye for good, and they accepted it and chose to make the most of it. I do love this moment too because it’s actually very healthy; they know they can’t stay together even though they both want to, and they know it’s because, even if they were living in peace, they would never be able to choose each other over their people as long as they’re leaders. What came after was poorly done, but this moment was touching and should be celebrated. They got to say goodbye, and I hate that Clarke immediately had to lose her and feel that significant trauma, but I’m glad that they also got to say goodbye one final time in the City of Light. This closure is comparatively much better than how her relationship with Finn ended, and I’m glad she got to have that, though I’m looking forward to her finally finding lasting love and happiness, and I do believe she will find that with Bellamy.

On that note, I believe I’m done. I can’t wait for season 7 to air in under a month! Bellarke endgame 2020!!!!

#bellarke #the 100 ships #analysis

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tonyspiderchild · 4 years

Text

A Lesson Well Delivered

You can read it here on AO3 if you want: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24264514

The Coronavirus had caused so many schools and non essential places to shut down while that was happening. New York was the hardest hit place in the country and more than ever people were being restricted from going out.

Tony could not stop worrying about his spider child. When the threat first began he became concerned and was watching extra carefully. The baby monitor was on at all times because of the scare. This time it was not just Tony watching, but Pepper also watched.

Both had admitted long ago that Peter was their child; he may not have their blood but they would do anything to protect him. They had spoken to May if they would be able to adopt Peter as their own. Luckily they had been able to adopt him before the pandemic had hit but kept it a secret from the public until he was at least done with high school.

May had agreed she understood the love they felt for him was genuine and she would not deny it helped that they were there for him. Being a nurse was a lot of work and she was often away on her shifts and could not be there for him as much as she wanted. She surprised herself when she somehow managed to find a happy healthy relationship with Happy. Now due to the virus she was going to have to continue working at the hospital.

Due to the stay at home orders she sent Peter to the tower. While he did have his freakish Spidey powers she was not going to put her kid in danger if it was unnecessary.

Peter was worried about her but he understood May was not going to let him stay with her for any reason because she would not want to put him in danger.

He had arrived at the tower with Happy who was also worried about his girlfriend. Happy would be staying with them however he had requested a different floor so he wouldn’t intrude on the family of 3.

Peter had patrolled as Spider-Man for a few days but stopped when his mother and father begged him too. He knew they were really concerned about the whole thing and did not want their baby in danger.

Peter had a super close relationship with both of them. He sat in the living room watching the news panicking over the virus. Tony walked over and sat next to him shutting off the tv and pulling into his arms. Peter couldn’t help but bury his face in his chest to try and calm down.

“Baby, please calm down and stop watching the news. I know you are worried but I do not want you to continue to worry more. You know May calls you every chance she gets to let you know she is okay.” Tony muttered as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Pepper walked in and saw them. She walked over to them on the couch sitting right next to Peter and putting her arms around him as well.

The family of 3 just hugged each other while Pepper and Tony quietly were muttering and loving their child.

May called later to provide her update saying she was fine and that she missed them all while they stood there looking outside at the city looking completely deserted.

Peter sadly still had school while he was doing them online through zoom. He honestly was bored and grateful for not going to school. He had not told his parents he was being bullied and no one believed his “internship” not even the adults. He knew if his parents found out that there would be hell to pay.

The bullying was bad, but he had to admit he was thankful for his two best friends Ned and MJ who were there for him.

Flash was still bitter and would go off on him and honestly it was sad no one did a thing just because his dad had money. It was awful how people would be turning their heads to the other directions.

Everyone saw him as a liar in all honesty. They did not believe for a second that he could have an internship while he was the brightest in the school.

Every Monday through Friday there was a zoom for all his classes as the days passed it started becoming a routine. Mornings and early afternoons would be in classes for zoom while he still had Academic Decathlon on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Later in the day he would help his mom with paperwork and after he would be in the lab with his dad at the end they would watch movies until they fell asleep.

Or more like Peter would fall asleep and Tony would carry him to his room thankfully his spider abilities meant that he was really light. That would help him move around without any trouble.

The sad part about all of this was the abuse he continued to receive from Flash Thompson, as he was still in class through snide comments and even through the chat. The teachers told him to stop provoking him which was something he did not understand.

He was in math class using his Stark laptop that his dad had gotten for his birthday. He could not believe there was a time he was really shy around them now that did not exist. They had sat him down and talked about their feelings for him explaining that they loved him as their own child and if he wanted to call them mom and dad he could. Which changed the dynamic between them now Peter did not feel embarrassed with how close they had gotten.

All the sudden he heard a cold, hateful voice, “What are you thinking about Penis Parker, your nonexisting pathetic life? Or are you trying to come up with another lie about your so-called internship.”

Peter got ready to defend himself but was instantly silenced by his teacher Mr Harrington who scolded Peter for being disruptive and bothering Flash. Or he would find a way to get him detention.

Peter sighed sadly, his school life was not getting better. The principal, Mr. Morita, also was on his case saying pretending he had an internship was against the law and so was pretending that Tony Stark was his guardian.

He threatened to call the police if he tried to do that again. The only reason he had not was because of the pandemic and would not be able to get a case on it since that would not be a pressing concern.

Mr. Morita thought it would be a great thing to get a liar out of his school even if he was the valedictorian he could go and talk to the school board. Although he knew he looked bad going after the star student of his school, showing how he was lying would help his case.

He kept those thoughts from the adults or it could get bad but Peter had overheard and knew about it. While he did feel a little bad he had no regard nor did he care about how he treated Peter.

As the classes continued Peter was exhausted of everything MJ and Ned texted him telling him to ignore them. He did to his best attempt. And continued with the classes. Others while they did not believe him. Did feel a little bad at the way he was treated at the school but said nothing since it was not their business.

The “school” day finally ended of course with so much more taunting from Flash and the teachers reprimanding him.

He was so exhausted that he walked over to his mother who was reading on her iPad. He had been in his room sitting against the wall so that they would not see his own room. He was just thankful no one had ever seen his room at May’s or they would notice the difference. The only ones who knew were Ned and MJ.

She smiled softly at him although she gained a look of concern when she saw him that she put it aside and pulled him into her arms. Peter lay his head on her chest like a small child would and closed his eyes. He fell asleep with his mother softly combing his hair and humming to him. She was concerned that something was going on with his child especially since he was a very bright young man but always looked sad after the zoom sessions.

She wanted to snoop his zoom sessions but also did not want to invade his privacy but he was her child and she had to protect him from everything. She made a deal with herself if this continued another day she would check herself.

She took her iPad back and carefully held it as she read while the company was closed that did not mean the work had stopped for her. She worked for a while long and then decided to rest her eyes for a few minutes and quickly fell asleep.

~~~~~~~A couple hours later

Tony walked into the room worried about his son since he had not come down to the lab and Pepper had not told him to come up for dinner. He walked into a scene that made his heart skip a couple beats. On the couch was his wife and their child sleeping. He decided not to wake them and instead decided to make some food for them.

After dinner was ready he walked in and woke them up and told them dinner was ready.

Pepper was surprised that she actually fell asleep while Peter carefully got up and helped his mom up. They both walked into the kitchen.

When they sat down and began to eat. They began to talk about their day. Luckily everything was good. Pepper decided to ask tomorrow about school instead asking him questions about a book report he was doing. Thankfully Peter was distracted talking about and did not notice as she gave Tony a look that said they needed to talk.

Tony was worried, but realized that it was something Pepper did not want Peter to overhear so he stayed quiet but became really scared since it concerned Peter. However, he managed to hide his worry from Peter.

After dinner they decided to watch some Brooklyn Nine-Nine which was honestly all their favorite show. They laughed as they watched it and it wiped some tension. They were so into the show they did notice the Spiderling was falling asleep.

Tony was the first to notice when he did not hear his child for the past 5 minutes. He realized he was fast asleep with his head on his shoulder. He smiled and turned off the tv as Pepper looked over as well smiling softly.

Tony got up and took him to his room and laid him down and both kissed his cheeks wishing him a good night.

Tony and Pepper walked into their room and closed the door.

Tony automatically asked, “Honey what is wrong?”

Pepper sighed, “I don’t know,but I fear someone is bullying our son or something. When he left class today he walked in looking really sad. He also missed the Academic Decathlon he was sleeping. I did not want to wake him.”

Tony looked pissed, “What?!?!”

Pepper automatically got up and shushed him. “F.R.I.D.A.Y Peter was not woken up right?”

F.R.I.D.A.Y responded, “No he is still asleep.”

“Look I am not sure but if it is the same thing tomorrow I will check I promise just do not do anything and let me handle it since I have a better control of my temper than you do please.” Pepper responded to her husband.

Tony took a deep breath if his child was in fact getting bullied it might be better to let Pepper deal with it. “Okay I trust you. Unfortunately I have a meeting tomorrow. I will do it only because you will protect Peter and be discreet.”

Pepper smirked, “Thank you, honey let's go to sleep now.”

~~~~~~~~The next morning

Everyone got up early and got ready for the day. Pepper made some breakfast while Tony went to wake up their child who was still asleep. They walked into the kitchen and all sat down to eat. After they all went their separate ways.

Peter went to his class luckily Flash was absent so everyone seemed to ignore him for the day. He did get in a lot of trouble for skipping out on Decathlon practice and was practically yelled at.

They demanded to speak to May but Peter responded that she was working at the hospital since she is a nurse. They stopped and left it alone since she was “doing what she needed to do.”

As much as he loved his school he hated how stuck up and rude they all were almost every person there came from money the only ones who practically did not were Ned, MJ and maybe a few others. They were there on a scholarship and worked their way in but that was not important at the moment.

MJ defended him and said she knew he was not going to be able to make it since he was going to be in contact with his aunt so she let it slide. Even if it was a lie she knew it was getting to Peter but he did not want to betray his trust. However, she was tired of the way that he was getting treated. She knew the moment she brought it up to his parents they would lose their temper to defend their child.

By the time school was Peter was exhausted and as usual he was a bit upset. People did notice he was in a pretty nice bedroom and was questioned but he did not say a word. His teachers tried to demand as if it was any of their business but MJ defended him saying they had no right to ask anyone those personal questions or did they forget it was wrong so they dropped it but Peter was sure they brought it up to the principal.

When Peter leaves the class he is upset but tries to hide from his mom who is reading again on her iPad he thinks he makes a free escape as he walks to the lab. He does not notice that Pepper is looking at him extremely concerned.

She quietly walks behind and watches her child as he sadly looked at his Spider-Man suit. She was getting ready to walk in and comfort her child but his phone rings and he brightens up a little when he happily talks to his aunt. She walks out and goes towards Tony’s office.

Tony finishes the meeting and sits back and sighs he was worried about his child that he did not really pay attention to what the meeting was about. He looks as Pepper walks in and notices it's not good.

Pepper quietly responds, “I hate to do this but I am going to listen in on his zoom for school because I do not like this Tony. I hate breaking his trust but it's my son and I cannot see him upset.”

Tony nods, “I know but when it comes to the safety of our child in any way we are allowed to break those rules in order to protect him. Where is he now?”

Pepper looks outside the window, “he is currently in the lab. He thought I did not notice him going there. I followed him but then May called to give her, daily update so he brightened up so I did not want to intrude.”

Tony nods, “Okay I am going to the lab then.”

Pepper does not look away from the window, “please do not ask him about it. I really find out how it is occurring and I do not want him to feel embarrassed. I will start making dinner meaning just distract him and make him happy please.”

Tony nodded, “Don’t worry I will go and make our boy happy besides yours and his are the most important for me.”

Pepper hugged him, “Well honey I hope his happiness is your number 1 like it is for me because I love you but he is my child so I love him more. Sorry.” She smiles and shrugs.

Tony smiles and hugs her back, “Do not worry yes he is my number 1 as well. I love that he is our child and I am thankful that I found him everyday.” He gives her a quick kiss and leaves to the lab to check on his son.

Pepper goes to make dinner and to have a quiet normal night without incident.

The night passes practically the same as before.

The next morning after Peter starts his class. Pepper guiltily but quietly asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to patch the audio.

There is a small problem because Peter forgot to charge his laptop and asks his mom if he could use one of theirs. Pepper panics, but remembers Tony was in the lab and tells him to use his father's office since he does not need it today.

Peter nods his thanks and walks into the office closing the door.

Pepper sits down putting on her earphones. She hopes his super hearing does not hear although he has been so concerned for May that he is probably not paying much attention.

She has a book ready in case she has to act the part.

Peter begins his class so far everything is going good. That is until Flash notices his surroundings and realizes that Peter is in a really nice room.

Flash asks pissed, “What the hell Penis?! Where are you? At your sugar daddy’s home. How did you get in there or is it your pathetic nonexistent “internship”? Which is quite pathetic honestly. Who would want you?”

Peter tried to defend himself right away.

He was chastised by his teacher and told not to mess with Flash or he would be in so much trouble for pissing him off when he had done nothing.

Pepper was in shock and furious as she listened in and almost wanted to jump in to protect her child. She stayed back and stayed quiet although she was very close to breaking.

Peter stayed quiet not saying a thing. Ignoring it all, not looking forward to getting reprimanded anymore. However, due to his Parker Luck it did not go that way as his principal went off on him in front of everyone as usual. MJ and Ned tried to defend him, but Morita said he was going to get him kicked out of the school for lying. Flash looked very smug about that.

What they did not realize Pepper was pissed and ready to kill all of them. She made herself calm down and continued to listen as she got ready to do a plan attack. She was going to destroy Midtown and she would have no regards for it.She would also be taking her child out of the god awful school.

She continued to listen in as the principal commanded Peter to have May there at exactly 4 pm so he could read his disciplinary actions against him not caring or listening to his response that May was working at a hospital. The principal told him he had 4 hours. Then disconnected Peter and by default Pepper as well.

Considering that she was seething and an angry CEO was not worth it. She called Tony telling him to get to her office immediately. She carefully and quietly told what she overheard for once thankful his office was on the other side of the penthouse.

Tony was furious, but understood that Pepper was going to take care of it so he went to look for his child.

He finds Peter quietly sitting on the couch. What Tony and Pepper didn’t know was that Peter overheard his parents and was happy they wanted to protect him so he didn’t say anything. The fact his parents wanted to protect him meant so much to him that he stayed quiet.

His dad comforts him not saying anything or asking what’s wrong. At the end he lays down on the couch and Peter with him as they watch a Star Wars movie they both fall asleep.

Pepper gets ready for the meeting luckily Peter had given her all his passwords because the child did not remember them all. Often he had to ask his parents for his own passwords.

She smirked as she got ready to destroy them and walked out of frame to give a good surprise.

When the screen opens the principal is pissed and he has an audience which includes several students, teachers and especially Flash Thompson who is extremely excited. The only two he does not have there for sure are MJ and Ned.

He angrily says to Peter to come out this instant he is not playing games and starts saying he is going to have him expelled and blacklisted. Flash is heard laughing but that all changes when a woman sits down and it is not May Parker.

Pepper Potts-Stark sits down looking furious and says coldly to repeat what he just said.

Everyone is shocked and terrified when they realize the most powerful woman is there where Peter and May are supposed to be. All are very thrown off and have no idea how to respond.

Morita looks shocked, “Mrs Stark um I have no idea how you got into this chat but since you are here I should let you know there is a student who is lying and saying he has an internship with you guys--” he promptly gets cut off.

Pepper looks coldly and says, “You mean Peter Parker?”

Morita and everyone is shocked and because not once did he mention Peter's last name at all.

Morita is terrified and answers, “How, how do you know that name?”

Pepper acts confused but still emitting a large quantity of fury asking, “How would I not know my own son?”

Everyone pauses in shock. Not knowing how to respond.

Flash stutters, “Penis is your son?”

Pepper automatically turns a blazing look on him. “What did you just say about my child?”

Flash squeaks in terror. Trying to apologize. But promptly is cut off by Pepper who looks even more mad. “You do not talk about my child again--”

Morita right away jumps in. “Mrs Stark please do not yell at him.”

Pepper responded, “Oh? But it is okay if he bullies my son then it’s right, BUT my son cannot defend himself without getting in trouble.”

Morita is pale, “No, that’s not what I meant I was just trying to say that--”

Pepper glares and says, “Do not lie to me I heard everything you all said to my child because when my son is upset. I get involved to protect him, and as a parent will do such. I will not allow my son to be hurt or upset”

Morita looked horrified when he realized she heard everything. “Look, I’m sure we can come up with a reasonable solution there is no need to do anything drastic.”

Pepper shook her head, “It has already been set I will be taking my son out of this school and will be homeschooling. Also will be putting a lawsuit against the school and possibly the district as well.”

Morita was horrified that would destroy many careers and bring shame to the school. He begged her to reconsider he was terrified when he realized how badly he had fucked up. He tried to intimidate her which did not work.

Pepper smiled coldly. Got up grabbing the laptop. “Oh, no worries I know my husband will like to give you a piece of his mind. He will be even more furious at you if I wake them up.” She purposely turns her laptop to show Peter and Tony sleeping on the couch together.

Everyone freezes in shock not knowing what to do. They really didn’t know what to do at the moment Pepper walked back to her office shutting the door.

“So answer my questions: How long has this been going on? Why did you never stop it? Why discipline my child when he did nothing wrong?”

No one opened their mouths and what they didn’t know was that Ned managed to hack himself and MJ in and there was a student posting it all online for the world to see.

Both Ned and MJ appeared on screen and Morita knew he was screwed because they were going to say everything. He tried to shush them, but Pepper stopped him.

Ned was in shock so was MJ since Pepper Potts was her hero. But she was more composed than Ned was.

“I can answer that Ms Potts... This has been going on for years. They never did anything since they cared more about who the parent is than the mental health of a student. Peter would get pushed, shoved. Stuffed into lockers, etc. and not once was he defended. As a matter fact the first time he tried and complained he got detention for a month for speaking up. He would regularly get into trouble and he had done no wrong.” MJ remarks annoyed at the treatment of her best friend/crush.

Pepper looks and responds, “So, what you’re telling me is that you don’t care about students at all except who their parents are and how much they have in their pockets... tell me why you did nothing to help Peter.”

Morita stutters responding the most stupid thing ever, “Because I did not know he was your son.”

Pepper nodded, “Thank you for proving my point. I am done here. My son will be out of this school immediately and don’t think I will not make sure to drag you through the mud. I have never gotten angry before, but you messed with the wrong child. Just be thankful my husband did not get involved. Or maybe he will. I know he wants a go at it, but now I have more important things to worry about with my child. Goodbye Midtown it was NOT nice meeting you. Take any action against Michelle Jones and Ned Leeds and it will be a lot worse.”

She promptly signs off leaving everyone in shock. Everyone was terrified and not knowing how to react when she signs back in to deliver a huge fuck you.

“Just so you know. All of you are effectively banned from ever setting foot in Stark Industries that means for a visit as well as employment. Oh and also Eugene “Flash” Thompson a restraining order will be taken out against you and there will be a lawsuit against you as well for what you have done to my son. Now I hope I never have the misfortune to see any of you again. Obviously, I will have to say that this excludes Ned and MJ; they are fine and good people unlike the rest of you.” Right before she logged off Tony appeared on the screen.

He spoke in a cold deadly voice, “You made an enemy of the Avengers and me. Do not come near my family or me. I remember all of your faces and I will destroy you even more than now. I can also monitor what is posted about my child. Anything disrespectful I will make sure you regret being born. Stay away from us forever.” Tony Stark logged off while Pepper sat in the background just as angry.

Everyone looked at each other shocked and scared that they knew they had really fucked up. Everyone logged off quietly. The only ones left were Morita, the teachers, and Flash. They knew now that they had made very powerful enemies; they hoped they could keep this quiet. Not knowing that all of this had already gone public because of an anonymous student.

Pepper had logged off and took a deep breath to calm down, going to the kitchen to make some food. While she did that Tony went back to the couch with Peter sitting down putting his son’s head on his lap. Pepper decided to call May to let her know what happened. May was shaken to the core and upset, but thankful for what they had done.

When dinner was done she called them both and they showed up to eat. Tony looked at Pepper and she nodded while they ate dinner they knew they would need to talk to Peter about the situation.

While they were watching a movie later on curled up together Peter decided to speak up.

“Thank you for what you guys did today.” Peter remarked.

Tony and Pepper looked shocked.

“You knew sweetheart?” Pepper looked surprised.

Peter chuckled, “Super hearing remember? But really it does mean a lot how much you both love me and are willing to protect me. I love you guys so much.”

Tony smiles, “Oh baby we love more than anything in his world. And we always will.”

Pepper smiled, “He’s right Petey you are the best person in our lives we love you so much.”

The three hugged each other falling asleep on the couch.

The next morning the press was going insane on every news channel the news were:

“Tony Stark and Pepper Potts-Stark have a son?!?!”

“Who is Pepperony’s son?!?!”

“Pepper Potts-Stark confirms she and Tony Stark have a child!!!!”

“What we know about Peter Parker Stark! Tony Stark and Pepper Potts-Stark child”

“Pepper Potts-Stark defends son in zoom chat!!!”

“Midtown under fire for turning blind eye on bullying issues”

“Pepper Potts-Stark defends son after bullying issue was ignored”

“Tony Stark seen napping with son while wife Pepper Potts-Stark defends their son”

“Tony and Pepper Stark defend and vow to do everything to protect their child”

Pepper stared horrified at the news outlets about the fact Peter was outed to the world and she was the one to do it. She had always prepared for this scenario, but in her mind it was Tony who would slip not her. Damn her overprotectiveness of her child.

Tony chuckled, “Honey how does it feel to have caused a PR shock for the first time ever?”

Pepper blushed, “I’m sorry, but I am also not sorry if it meant I was protecting our child and his reputation.”

Peter walked over and smiled, “It’s okay mom.”

He hugged her and so did Tony doing a large group hug just the three of them.

They knew the press would be on them, but as long as they were together they knew nothing would keep them apart. They still had the stay at home orders so they were safe from the press at least for the time being. All they were hoping for was that a big celeb scandal would come out and take away interest from them.

No one would tear them apart, not the judgmental students of Midtown, the awful staff. They would stand together.

Tony, Peter and Pepper would continue to rise and become stronger as individuals and as a family.

#peter parker #tony stark #Irondad and Spiderson #irondad #spiderson #Iron Man #spiderman #pepper potts #pepperony #bullying

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theliberaltony · 3 years

Link

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): Last Wednesday, the U.S. Capitol was attacked by a mob of President Trump’s supporters, many of whom had very explicit and not so explicit ties to right-wing extremism in the U.S. There are reports now, too, that there could be subsequent attacks in state capitals this weekend. President Trump’s time in office has undoubtedly had a mainstreaming effect on right-wing extremism, too, with as many as 20 percent of Americans saying they supported the rioters. But as we also know, much of this predates Trump, too. Right-wing extremism has a long, sordid history in the U.S.

The big question I want to ask all of you today is twofold: First, how did we get here, and second, where do we go from here?

Let’s start by unpacking how right-wing extremism has changed in the Trump presidency. How has it?

ameliatd (Amelia Thomson-DeVeaux, senior writer): Well, the first and most obvious thing is that Trump has spoken directly to right-wing extremists. That is to say, using their language, condoning previous armed protests at government buildings and explicitly calling on them to support and protect him. And that, probably unsurprisingly, has emboldened right-wing extremists and made their extremism seem — well, less extreme.

That goes for a wide array of extremists in the U.S., too. I’m thinking, of course, about Trump’s comment after the white supremacist violence in Charlottesville, Virginia, when he said there were “very fine people on both sides.” But Trump has also encouraged white Christian nationalists, anti-government extremists and other groups and individuals that I certainly never thought I’d hear a president expressing sympathy or support for.

jennifer.chudy (Jennifer Chudy, political science professor at Wellesley College): Absolutely, Amelia. And while the actual extremists may represent a small group of the public, the share of Republicans who support their behavior, whether explicitly or implicitly, is not as small. This is, in part, due to mainstream political institutions — like the Republican Party, with Trump at its helm — helping make their mission and behavior seem legitimate.

maggie.koerth (Maggie Koerth, senior science writer): I’ve been talking to experts about this all week, and I think it’s really interesting how even the academics who study this stuff are kind of arguing over the role class plays in it. People like Christian Davenport at the University of Michigan have argued that we should understand that all of this is happening in the context of decades of growing income inequality and political stagnation. In other words, he contends that there are legitimate reasons to be angry at and mistrust the government. But it also seems like this crowd was not even close to being uniformly working class and probably contained people from a range of different backgrounds. And that’s why I liked one of the points Joseph Uscinski at the University of Miami made: We might be seeing a coalescing of two groups: the people who have been actually hurt by that inequality and are angry about it AND the people who are doing pretty well but who feel like somebody might come and take that away. And, of course, both those positions can dovetail very easily into racial animus and white supremacy.

ameliatd: That’s interesting, Maggie. As you alluded to, though, it’s important to be clear that economic anxiety — which was used in the aftermath of Trump’s election to explain why so many Americans voted for a candidate who framed much of his candidacy around animus toward nonwhite people — doesn’t mean that racism or white supremacy isn’t a driving force here, too.

Part of what’s so complex about the mob that attacked the Capitol is that it was a bunch of different people, with somewhat disparate ideologies and goals, united under the “stop the steal” mantra. But underlying a lot of that, even people’s anger over economic inequality or mistrust in institutions, is the fundamental idea that white status and power are being threatened.

jennifer.chudy: There is also just a lot of evidence in political science that racial attitudes are associated with emotions like anger. Two great books, one by Antoine Banks of the University of Maryland and the other by Davin Phoenix of the University of California, Irvine, consider this point in depth. Insofar as right-wing extremists express anger at the system (in contrast to fear or disgust), their anger appears more likely to be motivated by racial grievances than by economic ones.

Additionally, the Republican Party’s base has, for years now, become more racially homogeneous, in part because of the party providing a welcome home to white grievances. But some have argued that this has also been exacerbated by the Democratic Party speaking more explicitly about racial inequality in the U.S., something that wasn’t the case in the 1990s. Regardless, a more racially homogeneous base can make a party’s members more receptive to this type of extremist behavior.

We also can’t underestimate the role that COVID-19 plays here. As Maggie and Amelia suggested in their article from this summer on militias and the coronavirus, many folks are at home and glued to their computers in ways that facilitate this type of organizing. They can burrow themselves into online communities of like-minded folks which may intensify their attitudes and lead to extreme behavior.

Kaleigh: (Kaleigh Rogers, tech and politics reporter): Polling has shown that ideas that previously had been considered extreme, like using violence if your party loses an election, or supporting authoritarian ideas, have definitely become more mainstream.

This is partly due to Trump’s own rhetoric, but also due to the effects of online communities where far-right extremists and white nationalists mingle with more moderate Trump supporters, effectively radicalizing some of them over time.

What’s interesting to me about all of these different factions, though, is there is actually a lot of division among these groups: Many members of the Proud Boys aren’t fans of the QAnon conspiracy, for instance. And a lot of white nationalists don’t like Trump, but they still end up uniting against a perceived common enemy. That’s why you saw people in the mob at the Capitol waving MAGA flags alongside people with clear Nazi symbolism. They are not all white nationalists, but they’re willing to march beside them because they think they’re on the same side.

But in the aftermath of the Jan. 6 attack, those divisions are becoming more stark in these online communities. I’m seeing a lot of infighting over whether planned marches are a good idea, whether they are “false flag” events or traps or whether they should be armed. There just seems to be this heightened anxiety as they draw closer to an inevitable line that they can’t come back from: Biden’s inauguration.

sarahf: That’s a super important point, Kaleigh, on how different extremist groups have rallied behind this. But given how much Trump has directly spoken to right-wing extremists, as Amelia mentioned up top, can we drill in on the violence, as well? It’s not just that different factions have united or that these views have mainstreamed under Trump, but also that there’s been an actual uptick in violence, too, right?

ameliatd: One thing Maggie and I heard from experts on the modern militia movement is that these groups’ activity levels depend on the political context. The uptick in violence under Trump is real, but it’s not something that’s only happened under Trump. There was a surge in militia activity early in Obama’s presidency, too, for example.

maggie.koerth: Very much so, Amelia. The reality is that the right-wing extremism we’re seeing now is a symptom of long-running trends in American society, including white resentment and racial animus. And on top of that, you have these trends interacting with partisan polarization, which means the political left and right (which used to have fairly similar levels of white racial resentment) began to diverge on measures of racial resentment in the late 1980s and now differ greatly.

Kaleigh: Exactly, Maggie. That’s also why the FBI and other experts are particularly concerned about planned militia marches ahead of the inauguration. These groups tend to be much more organized and deliberate in their actions than the mob we saw last week. And because of that, they’re even more dangerous.

ameliatd: Right, so this violence isn’t new. But I do think it’s fair to say that Trump has raised the stakes so dramatically for right-wing extremists that we’d see a throng of them storming the Capitol. A lot of them see him as their guy in the White House!

So when he says, look, this election is being stolen from me, and you’ve got to do something about it, they listen.

jennifer.chudy: That’s true, Amelia, but work in political science shows just how much of this change was afoot prior to Trump’s election. Some tie it to Hillary Clinton talking too much about race during the 2016 election — they argue that this drove away some white voters who had previously voted Democratic (and could do so in 2008 and ‘12 because Obama, despite being Black, did not mention race much during his candidacy). But Clare Malone’s article for FiveThirtyEight on how Republicans have spent decades prioritizing white people’s interests does a great job of tracing these roots even further back.

maggie.koerth: Yeah, I’m really leery of the tendency I’ve seen in the media to act like this is something that started with Trump, or even that started post-Obama. Most of the experts I’ve spoken with have framed this more like … Trump’s escalation of these dangerous trends is a symptom of the trends. We’re talking about a lot of indicators that have been going in this direction since at least the 1980s.

jennifer.chudy: True, Maggie, from the beginning of the Republic, I might argue! But one reason the tie to Trump and Obama is so interesting is that Trump’s baseless claims around Obama’s birth certificate correspond with his debut on the national political stage. So even as there is a long thread of white supremacy throughout American history that has facilitated Trump’s ascension, there may also be a more proximate connection to recent elections, too.

ameliatd: Ashley Jardina, a political scientist at Duke University, has done some really compelling research on white identity politics — specifically how the country’s diversification has created a kind of “white awareness” among white Americans who are essentially afraid of losing their cultural status and power.

This is a complicated force — she’s clear that it’s not exactly the same thing as racial prejudice — but the result is that many white people have a sense that the hierarchy in which they’ve been privileged is being upset, and they want things to return to the old status quo, which of course was racist. And the Republican Party has been tapping into that sense of fear for a while. Trump’s departure was that he started doing it much more explicitly than previous Republican politicians had mostly done.

So yes, Maggie, you’re absolutely right that it’s not like Trump came on the scene and suddenly right-wing extremism or white supremacist violence became a part of our mjui78 political landscape. Or partisan hatred, for that matter! FiveThirtyEight contributor Lee Drutman has written about the effect of political polarization and how it’s created intense loathing of the other party, and he’s clear that it’s been a long time coming. It didn’t just emerge out of nowhere in 2016, as you can see in the chart below.

On the other hand, though, it’s hard to imagine the events of last week without four years of Trump fanning the flames.

maggie.koerth: Right, Amelia. Trump is a symptom AND he’s making it worse. At the same time.

Kaleigh: What you said, Amelia, also speaks to just how many Trump supporters don’t consider themselves racist and find it insulting to be called so. A lot of Trump supporters think Democrats are obsessed with race and identity politics, and think racism isn’t as systemic of a problem as it is. There are also, of course, nonwhite Trump supporters, which complicates the image that only white working-class Americans feel threatened by efforts to create racial equality.

ameliatd: That’s right, Kaleigh. We haven’t talked about the protests against police brutality and misconduct this summer, but I think that’s a big factor here as well — politicians like Biden saying that we have to deal with systemic racism is itself threatening to a lot of people.

sarahf: It does seem as if we’re in this gray zone, where so much of this predates Trump, and yet Trump has activated underlying sentiments that were perhaps dormant for at least a little while. Any child of the 1990s remembers, for instance, the Oklahoma City bombing and Timothy McVeigh, who held a number of extreme, anti-government views, or the deadly standoff between federal law enforcement officials and right-wing fundamentalists at Ruby Ridge.

And as Jennifer pointed out with Malone’s piece, the thread runs even further back. It’s almost as if it’s always been part of the U.S. but maybe not as omnipresent. That’s also possibly naive, but I’m curious to hear where you all think we go from here — in how does President Biden start to move the U.S. forward?

maggie.koerth: Honestly, that’s the scary part for me, Sarah. Because I don’t really think he can. Everything we know about how you change deeply held beliefs that have to do with identity suggests that the appeals of outsiders doesn’t work.

jennifer.chudy: Yes — one would think that a common formidable challenge, like COVID-19, would help unite different political factions. But if you look at the last few months, that’s not what we see.

maggie.koerth: Even Republican elites who they push back on this stuff get branded as apostates.

ameliatd: And there’s evidence that when Republican elites are perceived as apostates, they may also become targets for violence.

Kaleigh: But we also know that deplatforming agitators helps reduce the spread of their ideas and how much people are exposed to/talk about them. Losing the presidency is kind of the ultimate deplatforming, no?

jennifer.chudy: Is it deplatforming, though? Or is it just moving the platform to a different setting? I don’t know the ins and outs of the technology, but it seems like the message has become dispersed but maybe not extinguished.

sarahf: That’s a good point, Jennifer, and something I think Kaleigh hits on in her article — that is, this question of … was it too little, too late?

maggie.koerth: I think it has been a deplatforming, Jennifer. If for no other reason than it’s removed Trump’s ability to viscerally respond to millions of people immediately. And you see some really big differences between the things he said on Twitter about these extremists last week and the statements he’s made this week, which have had to go through other people.

It’s not so much taken away from his ability to speak, but it does seem to have affected his ability to speak without somebody thinking about the consequences first.

ameliatd: There is an argument that Trump’s presidency and the violence he’s spurred is making the underlying problems impossible to ignore. I’m not sure whether that makes it easier for Biden to deal with them, but it does make it harder for him to just say, ‘Okay, let’s move past this.’

Lilliana Mason, a professor at the University of Maryland who’s written extensively about partisan discord and political violence, told me in a recent interview that while someone like Biden shouldn’t be afraid to push back against Trump or his followers because it will lead to more violence (an argument against impeachment that’s circulated in the past week), she does think pushing back against Trump and his followers probably will result in more violence.

So that leaves us, and Biden, in a pretty scary place.

Republicans are in a bind, too. Electorally, many of them depend on a system where certain voters — white voters, rural voters, etc. — do have more power. So yeah, Sarah, that doesn’t make me especially optimistic about a big Republican elite turnaround on Trumpism, separate from the question of whether that would actually diffuse some of these tensions.

sarahf: One silver lining in all this is we don’t yet know the full extent to which Trump and Trumpism has taken a hit. That is, plenty of Republicans still support him, but his approval rating has taken a pretty big hit, the biggest since his first few months in office in 2017 — that’s atypical for a president on his way out the door. More Republicans also support impeachment of Trump this time around.

There is a radicalized element here in American politics — and as you’ve all said — it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, but I do wonder if we still don’t fully understand where this goes next.

Kaleigh: What gives me some peace in this time is looking back at history. America has dealt with far-right extremists before. It has dealt with violent insurrectionists before. We have continued, however slowly, to make progress. Sometimes the only way out is through.

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #A FiveThirtyEight Chat

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it-stheaulifeforme · 4 years

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1-12 with Rex?

oh damn i’m FINALLY gonna get around to this. i have a much better idea of him thanks to how i’m writing him lately - i think many of these still stand from when i first had these ideas, so now i’m gonna make them a lot more visible

1. Their physical weak spots?

Though necks can already be sensitive, his neck is sensitive enough to the point that even remote amounts of pressure, especially the sides of it, can make him very uncomfortable, besides him considering it to be a big deal in terms of incredibly personal violation of his boundaries.

This makes asphyxiation one of the biggest things that render him the most vulnerable because a) he’s the least able to really do anything in this position, b) his particular sensitivity there means it’s more of the go to way to subdue him and c) because he has a slight weakness in his left shoulder due to being brought on by another injury (that can also render him kinda helpless for a few seconds), his upper body strength is not always at its best, and he has to be sure that his enemies don’t catch on quick enough to his heavy reliance on his legs to defend himself.

This is beside the point that since he’s so susceptible to being asphyxiated, it’s harder to do so when you’re more easily able to be rendered helpless or even unconscious - kicking upwards can be quite the difficulty at that point.

Bonus point: because of the vulnerability to his neck, it’s one of the go to points for torture - being both a violation of his personal boundaries and the fact that it’s sensitive enough to cause great discomfort. And he can’t do anything, having to just stand or sit there whilst this happens. His enemies are a particular fan of going up behind him and holding a knife to his neck and daring him to move which would involve getting cut.

2. Their emotional/moral weak spots?

I’ve spoken about this multiple times before, but if you threaten his friends, he’ll come running. He’s more liable to put himself in danger for the sake of those he cares about because he literally cares way more about them than he does himself. This is the main reason he finds it easier to distance himself because anyone associated with him is a target. He blames himself easily for this, and it’s fodder for his enemies who like to threaten and kidnap his friends just to get to him and then blame him for getting them involved which doesn’t remotely help his guilt.

Bringing up his parents or why he has an aversion to showing vulnerability also sets him off - just, don’t. Though that doesn’t stop his enemies from prying into his life for fun.

He’s frankly got more emotional weak spots since it troubles him to hurt or kill unnecessarily and that feeds into his guilt, but he has gone to the point where he has to be reined in by others because he can be fuelled by his anger when other options apart from actual attempts at murder don’t feel available to him.

He’s usually a nice, collected person but is definitely not the type to try and anger or break because he will go to these lengths once he’s had enough. He’s a very troubled individual who knows he doesn’t want to get to this point, but knows that if he does, he needs other people to remind him of his morality. Of course he tries to see the good in people and hates holding grudges, but some of the people he’s ended up encountering have really managed to push even his limits.

3. Scars or painful spots?

I actually have a whole storyline based on his enemies exploiting his physical weaknesses (this is before they realise they just can’t get anything out of him when they’re specifically torturing him - although it doesn’t stop them from finding a thrill in doing so, because which of his enemies wouldn’t get enjoyment out of physically hurting the top agent on their radar) such as these.

He does have quite a few scars, if faded (some burns on his arms that have left a few small areas pink); notable areas are a scar on the right side of his head from being thrown against a wall, a particularly long scar that’s long since healed down the left side of his neck that curls down around his face when an enemy decided to put a knife there, just not enough to actually kill him and a quite nasty one down his left leg when a knife was trailed considerably painfully down it. His arms have also been fair game, more often than not, too.

Considering his job, he’s acquired quite a bit of damage (his friends and enemies wonder how he’s still alive), but it’s always made sure that he doesn’t die every time he’s tortured because his enemies would prefer to be able to enjoy actively causing him suffering. He’s generally able to cover them up, especially areas covered up by his clothes - a painful spot for him is his left shoulder area which is already a weakness, but he has scarring from being shot there which just makes it worse, as well as scarring in his left side from being shot there too, but it was far enough over that it was more scraping it than anything else.

It’s also notable that he’s acquired actual scarring on his wrists due to how harsh the handcuffs can be - they’re enough of a torture on their own.

And my storyline for him involves his enemies trying to reopen old wounds and cause just that bit more pain as result (there’s also emotional wounds but that’s a whole different story). As you can see - I couldn’t help but use his job as an excuse for this kind of pain and scarring.

4. Best places to kiss on their body?

Oh, man, I headcanon him as MASSIVELY touch-starved, and someone who seeks out companionship that doesn’t involve a great deal of commitment (he’s both got too much baggage and would rather not involve people in his career considering how dangerous it is), and is incredibly sensitive. He always has to try and hide it though.

However, it’s down his neck that he is physically incapable of not showing his enjoyment usually by some very contented sounds, although he has been known to make high-pitched whines, especially when it’s unexpected. It’s quite nice because of how soothing it is (often down to the scar he has down it), and particularly loves it if you kiss down his neck and across his shoulder blade. His jaw is quite sensitive too - so just anywhere between his head and shoulders is absolute bliss for him.

5. Guilty pleasures?

Considering how he usually appears to others: he actually prefers sitting down to watch B-movie sci-fis with a microwaveable dinner in his PJs. He’s also a massive sucker for cheesy slasher flicks, which he doesn’t tend to admit to to really anybody. He sees this stuff as guilty pleasures as unfortunately he’s far too nervous to, y’know, let the mask slip. Deep down he’s a very insecure man but has learnt to hide things so well he can’t tell the difference between his natural self and the mask.

6. Their vices (physical or emotional)?

He doesn’t have a whole lot, but his main and his worst is his anger and the impulsivity that goes with it. It can get super unchecked and ends up unfortunately relying on others to reel him back in. He can get very rash and irritable and knowing his career, this can get people hurt very easily.

He is a polite and friendly person, but knows what can happen if he gets to breaking point - it’s one reason he doesn’t like being on his own as much as he often feels he has to, especially since he encounters quite a few nasty people in his work, and has to avoid hurting the less malicious of their minions besides, though it doesn’t stop him from trying to push others away because of his trust issues.

7. Their tickle spots?

He’s not ticklish, or at least pretends not to be. His sides and neck are particularly sensitive to this, but unless he really trusts you (which is pretty much not really any - except Maximus, though even he finds slight discomfort in that kind of thing with him), you’re not gonna get anywhere near him to do so. He’s insecure with a lot of trust issues and frankly even if he didn’t have those issues, he’d still have problems with that happening to him, even if it’s a friend.

8. Bad memories/experiences?

That would be a remarkable number, although one that stands out is his parents finding out he was seeing another guy and then later when they found out he was bi and effectively pressured him with guilt to choose. He already had problems making friends and that didn’t help when he had to spend more time studying instead.

Recent memories would be any number of encounters with enemies where they targeted his weaknesses but he’s weirdly more accepting of things like that unless they involved them hitting a nerve (especially when they got his friends at the time involved and...well, it’s not something he would want to talk about, clearly).

9. Humiliating memories?

He tries not to feel this - though he has bad memories, like what would happen with his enemies, he doesn’t consider them humiliating, or tries not to anyway, because he feels beyond that. More humiliating ones though would usually be when he was at school since he was less able to make friends due to his own parents effectively living through him to make him ‘successful’, which evidently didn’t make him popular with many people. He was often mistook as someone who cared way more about academics than other things when that really wasn’t the case.

10. Fears/phobias?

Due to his upbringing and lifestyle, he has many notable ones, so I’ll just list them here:

- Fear of abandonment and being alone, but feels a need to push people away regardless

- Fear of vulnerability

- Fear of not being good enough or people ‘seeing him for who he really is’ and letting them down

- Fear of getting other people hurt because of him and his job or not being able to save them, resulting in being blamed for it by unsavoury characters (here come the guilt and self blame issues)

- Fear of manipulating and hurting others on accident

- Guess what!! He has a needle phobia too

11. Bad or petty habits?

This man has too much of a thing for caffeine since he prefers to stay up due to his job and because there’s obviously certain things about sleep that make him feel vulnerable. Of course, this results in him staying up at the most ungodly hours and often falling asleep in his car (he has to find somewhere to park it because even though he refuses to admit he’s really tired and not fine, he knows he’s still not in a position to be in front of the wheel, though when he makes more friends they often demand he needs to rest before he does anything risky, much less anything else.

12. Grudges and vendettas?

He’s not one to like holding grudges, preferring to see the good in people despite everything. Of course, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his limits pushed by certain people in his life such as some real nasty enemies of his, but he generally tries to restrain himself from going too far with him (or that others have to stop him).

On a different level, it actually takes him a while to properly admit how much his parents hurt him emotionally and that there was a reason he left the house for university and never looked back, never having spoken to them since. This is why he has the issues he does, because he still fears not being good enough or that people will see through him and he’s pretty angry in the least when it finally hits him.

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mastrechef · 4 years

Text

Say What You Want

This is something I’ve been picking at for a while now. I posted it on AO3 and figured I’d post it here as well because why not.

Iruka frowned, brow wrinkling in concern. A few weeks ago he would have suspected a genjutsu at work, but then again genjutsu wasn’t exactly his area of expertise. The only reason the academy teacher even suspected genjutsu was due to his belief that the child in question didn’t have it in him to sit so still for more than five minutes at a time. Now, it could be the work of someone else; however, no one else had any reason to do such a thing and, while unusual, it would have come as no surprise to find out it was just a prank. A very quiet, non-exploding, non-disruptive, glitter free, and paint free prank, which somehow made it unnerving and planted a growing seed of paranoia in most eye witnesses. Describing the situation like that sounded really extreme and overblown, but the reality was that Naruto’s drastic change in behavior was more than a little jarring.

It was most noticeable at the academy. Outside of class, the loud exuberant knucklehead was still very much present, harrying the odd civilian and otherwise sowing discord and mayhem. On the other hand, the studious and reserved child that currently sat before Iruka was a complete stranger. Whilst he didn’t necessarily pay any more attention to the lessons than he had before all this, he didn’t waste class time by causing a ruckus or picking a fight with Sasuke, nor did he sleep the day away like some honorary Nara. And, miracle of all miracles, Naruto actually deigned to turn in homework assignments. It was honestly astounding. There was a level of maturity and self-awareness to him that had been severely lacking up until the past month.

Of whatever had happened to prompt this change, Naruto hadn’t spoken a word. Anytime Iruka brought it up, Naruto brushed off his concern and quickly distracted him with actual academic questions. As happy as he was for Naruto to be taking his education seriously, every deviation in previous behaviors only served to fuel his worry. Something had to have occurred to have made such a profound effect on his student. If only he knew what.

***

Naruto ignored the droning of the teacher’s voice and focused on the pen and paper in front of him, tongue poking out the side of his mouth and a look of intense concentration on his face. He didn’t have anything against Iruka-sensei, far from it in fact, since Iruka-sensei was one of the few who even tried to treat him like a normal kid. But this was loads more interesting than history lessons.

And just what was it that had so captured his attention? Seals. Or rather, in this case, one specific seal, drawn over and over again until he could draw it out consistently as well as flawlessly. For as basic as this particular seal was, seals as a whole were both intricate and delicate, hence the need for repeated practice. This was something that really needed to be done with a brush, but since Naruto was currently at the academy and, from his hazy memories of covering sealing scrolls and explosive tags, would likely get in trouble if caught messing with seals unsupervised, he had to make do. Bringing a brush to class would be much too suspicious. No way was he going to let anyone, not even Iruka-sensei, prevent him from learning something so cool.

He continued drawing while mentally reciting the function of each component. This was a simple timed trap seal, meant to freeze an opponent in place for a short period of time. Naruto grinned just thinking of the pranking potential. Or even better, if he was able to place it sneakily, he could use it to finally kick that bastard’s butt in a spar.

Honestly, why was no one teaching this at the academy? It actually made a lot of sense and Naruto seemed to have a knack for it. And wasn’t that a novel idea? That he was actually good at something? It wasn’t like he had any talent for genjutsu, and there was no one he could practice his taijutsu with. Ninjutsu wasn’t so bad, except the bunshin was basically impossible and it was one of those things that they were always tested on. Everything else they were taught involved a lot of reading, which he usually couldn’t make heads or tails of and it only gave him a headache to try, so he didn’t.

In the end, he supposed it didn’t really matter if the academy was teaching fuinjutsu or not, since he was learning it now, and nobody would expect it when he became a master out of nowhere. Because he was determined to master the art of sealing. He wanted it. He wanted it more than his admittedly childish dream of becoming Hokage. Besides, it wasn’t so much the hat that he wanted, but the recognition and respect that came with it. Not to mention the common decency that no one seemed willing to grant to the no-name orphaned demon brat. The treatment he so desperately wanted by becoming Hokage could just as easily be gained by becoming a master in an obscure shinobi art.

Naruto shook off his heavy thoughts and switched to drawing explosive seals. He had to get the basics down or else he’d never be able to move on to making custom seals.

As soon as class let out for the day, Naruto skittered out the door faster than a rabbit with a cat on its tail, entirely ignoring the two sets of contemplative eyes that trailed after him. He raced home bubbling with giddy excitement. In short order he was sprawled out on the floor of his apartment with paper, brushes, and ink. Over the course of the last month his brushwork had improved in leaps and bounds. Now he no longer left ink drips everywhere and his strokes were smooth and even. He smiled in accomplishment at his practice sketches. Maybe when Hinoe came by he could pester her into finally letting him try out the real deal.

“Naruto-kun, you’ve got ink smudges on your face.”

Speak of the devil…

Upon the sill of the window he had left open was an elegant woman dressed in a purple floral kimono, curls of smoke trailing from a thin pipe in her hand. Full lips were painted a blood red, matching eyes highlighted with purple shadow, although one was hidden behind her rich midnight blue hair.

“Hinoe!” Naruto cheered. He jumped to his feet and thrust his paper at her. “Look at this, look at this! I’ve been practicing all day and I think I’ve got it down so can I try activating them now? Please, please, please can I try?”

“So impatient, just like Kushina. You’re always in a hurry,” she chided, but the fond amusement was clear in her voice, so Naruto didn’t take it to heart. Hinoe brought the pipe to her lips, taking a drag, then exhaling a cloud of smoke. “Explain each of the components to me. Let’s make sure all the theory I drilled into your head actually stuck.”

Naruto’s cheeks puffed out in what was absolutely not a pout. “Come on, I can do that in my sleep by now.”

A paper fan appeared out of nowhere to thwack him lightly on the head. “Brat, there’s a reason I made you learn all of that first. This is a dangerous art. Mistakes can be fatal.”

"Fine," Naruto groaned, capitulating and doing as he was told. In all honesty he wasn't that put out. Hinoe was a good teacher and he was so thrilled to actually be learning something that he never complained much. Besides, it was because of her that he was doing so much better at the academy. One of her stipulations for teaching him sealing was that he put at least some effort into his normal schooling. And she was the one who stepped in to help when he struggled with reading.

She nodded in approval at his thorough breakdown of the seal and at last they headed out to forest to practice. They went to the outskirts of Konoha, on the edge of training ground 44. There it was less likely that they'd run into any other shinobi and Hinoe's presence would keep anything else from wandering too close. Naruto had never actually been inside Konoha's famous—or maybe infamous—Forest of Death, but instinct always had him sticking close to Hinoe, fenced off area or not. There was no need to tempt fate, not to mention that there were certain things that could not be stopped by physical barriers.

Naruto was a bit disappointed that Hinoe vetoed his suggestion of testing his exploding tags, however she had a valid point in that the noise could bring unwanted attention. It would have to wait until he learned some privacy seals. Instead, he used his trap seal to practice trapping small animals, rabbits, birds, and the like. Many of them were flighty and quick on their feet, so Naruto had to be careful to hide his presence, then swiftly activate the seal in order to catch them. Only after he had been at it awhile, with a number of failures and successes under his belt, did Hinoe show him how to adjust the seal into a passive trap.

The young ninja-in-training was only slightly miffed that he’d been made to do things the hard way first before being shown a more efficient method. Even he could see the benefit of learning to activate seals quickly on the unsuspecting. Plus, the prankster side of him would always appreciate the masterful use of stealth, surprise, and the delicate art of precision timing.

Armed with a stick and some new sealing knowledge, Naruto sat at the edge of the clearing he had claimed for his own, sketching a newly modified seal into the dirt. He muttered to himself as he went, devoting to memory the new components and their functions.

The chiming of bells coming from everywhere and nowhere at once had Naruto looking around in confusion while Hinoe just gave an exasperated huff. The clearing was just as empty as it had been from the start and there weren’t any people, human or otherwise, visible through the thick surrounding foliage.

“So this is what you’ve been up to. I’d heard that you’ve been coming to Konoha, but I wasn’t expecting this.”

Naruto looked up to see an enormous bull with a horse head descending from the sky. He—at least it seemed like a he, but Naruto didn’t want to assume because it was often hard to tell with yokai—was dressed in a pale lavender kimono with bells and gold rings dangling from his ears.

He had always been able to see them. Yokai. Ayakashi. Spirits. When he was younger and didn’t know better, he used to ask about the funny creatures he would sometimes see wandering into the village. The matrons at the orphanage, who already hated him, didn’t take too kindly to Naruto pointing at and talking to things that didn’t exist to their eyes. He learned quickly not to mention them. Which honestly wasn’t too difficult. They lurked in the shadows of the trees and the deeper parts of the Naka River, along unseen forest paths and in secret groves. Only the brave or the powerful ventured very far into the developed areas of Konoha. Hinoe said it was because even if they couldn’t see the yokai shinobi could still detect their presence to some extent. Despite the tasty meal shinobi made due to their power, those yokai who liked to eat people prefered to go for easier targets.

Naruto shivered at the thought of being eaten. So far, he had only run into a few yokai like that and only one encounter had been face to face. That had been an awful experience.

As a whole, the yokai weren’t so bad and they didn’t mind his presence too much. He had even befriended some that frequented the lesser used training grounds at the outskirts of the village. At least, after they had stopped running away any time they spotted him. But Naruto had kept coming back because he had sensed in them kindred spirits, filled with the same loneliness that he felt day in and day out. His efforts had eventually born fruit and he had gained his first friends.

So far, he had yet to be given a reason to regret that choice. Not even the incident a month and a half ago, even if it still gave him nightmares. But he had made more friends because of it, including Hinoe, so it still counted as a positive thing in his books.

The female ayakashi blew out a puff of smoke that danced and swirled in the light breeze. She asked, “Did you need something, Misuzu?”

Baring his teeth in an eerie grin, the bull yokai replied, “Is there something wrong with coming to visit an old friend?” Naruto wasn’t sure what to make of him just yet, but admittedly that smile was a bit disturbing.

"Uzumaki-sama!" A cheerful voice called out, breaking the faint air of tension that had unintentionally fallen over the clearing. The two chuukyuu popped up from behind some bushes. "We’ve come to visit you again." Wearing a dopey smile, the ox chuukyuu nodded his head in agreement.

The young boy in question stared at them incredulously. "It’s the middle of the day. Why are you already this drunk?"

"Evening is not far off. All the more reason to continue drinking through the night," said Chobihige as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He sat calmly next to Hinoe with sake in hand.

Naruto pointed at him, shouting, "Where did you come from?!" His question went unanswered as more and more yokai showed up to join the party.

"Hey! I'm supposed to be training!" an annoyed Naruto yelled at them.

Too lost in the revelry and the prospect of copious amounts of sake, most of the newcomers ignored the fuming boy. Hinoe, sending a regretful glance towards the others—or rather the sake, compromised by agreeing to help Naruto with his homework. So they sat just off to the side of the revelers and their merrymaking as Hinoe tried to drill some shinobi history into Naruto’s unwilling skull.

From the other side of the clearing, nearly forgotten, Misuzu continued to watch the boy with a curious, searching gaze.

#naruto #natsume yuujinchou #fanfic #naruto sees yokai au #Naruto Uzumaki #iruka umino #hinoe #misuzu #i've been working on this when i get bored instead of all the other writing projects i should be working on

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xiaq · 5 years

Text

Q&A:

Hello! Sorry for the belated question-answering. My concussion symptoms got a lot worse for a hot second, but I’m feeling better now and ready to tackle my inbox. So I have over 30 academic-related questions and they mostly fall into these groups:

Can I read your dissertation/are you going to publish it?

Yes! And hopefully. The plan is to publish it as a book once it is complete, but even if that doesn’t happen I’ll share it (maybe even on AO3) with anyone who wants to read it.

What is your dissertation about?

That is a dangerous question. The shortest possible answer: my dissertation is essentially an ethnographic study of the interconnected online platforms that facilitate transformative digital fan culture and the people that use them. I consider fic literature and fic archives repositories for both this textual literature but also the metatextual and paratextual elements of fan culture. My focus is on the AO3 as a groundbreaking archive that has changed how transformative fandom operates, is treated legally, and is viewed publicly.

How are you getting a PhD in fandom? Is that a thing? Did you take classes for it?

Fandom studies is a thing! When you get an English PhD you specialize in certain things, and fandom studies is one of my specialties. Alas, I did not take classes in it, though I did do a significant amount of directed reading on my own/in preparation for exams. PhD coursework prepares you for the broad range of English classes you may be called upon to teach as a professor. So I took multiple courses in my primary fields (see below) but only took classes for my first two subfields. I also took Victorian lit, British lit, American lit, etc.

What did you take your quals in?

Primary Fields: (these are things that make colleges want to hire you)

Book history/archival (focus movement from print-digital)

Feminist/queer theory

20/21st century lit

Subfields: (these are the things that you think are neat if not included in the things that will make colleges want to hire you)

disability studies

minority literature

comics studies

fandom studies

Where do you go to school?

SMU. In Dallas. We have great libraries and lots of white people who wear Vinyard Vines apparel.

You’re the xiaq that wrote LRPD/AHTU/Strut! Are you going to talk about your own fic in your dissertation? Yes. And yes! I’ll speak as a 3rd party academic observer in chapter 1-3 and 5, but chapter 4 will be a case study/interlude where I speak in depth about my experience writing and posting LRPD (https://archiveofourown.org/works/11304786?view_full_work=true). I’m doing this for 2 reasons: 1. The project asserts that there is nothing shameful about participating in fandom and fan works/archives ought to be shown respect and appreciation. I want both fandom folks and academic folks to know that I’m “all in” as it were. 2. When I sat down with my chair to plan my case study chapter, we decided I needed a “top-ranked” work within any moderate to large fandom with over 50,000 hits and over 5,000 comments, and I needed to ask the author detailed questions about their writing, editing, posting, sharing, and comment-answering/interactive habits. LRPD fits that criteria and I don’t have to ask anyone else invasive questions.

Who all have you interviewed?

Cesperanza/Astolat and a couple other AO3 founding folks. Several people currently volunteering for the OTW, one of the volunteer coordinators, communications staff, and a LOT of fan writers (over 50 at this point)—including BNFs like Kryptaria, Earlgreytea68, Emmagrant01 and (much) more. And then a bunch of academic folks too—Karen Hellekson, Abigail De Kosnik, Francesca Coppa, Rukmini Pande, Suzanne Scott (who is on my committee as an outside reader!) and more. Every single person I’ve spoken to was very kind and generous with their time and I love everyone in this bar.

And these were three specific questions that didn’t fall into those categories:

You look so young—is that just good genetics or did you skip a few grades?

Thank you! Well. I skipped getting my masters. Sort of. Most PhD programs require an undergraduate and a masters degree before you can apply. SMU is one of the few that does not and has an extended program that essentially gives folks straight from undergrad extra intensive coursework and a masters upon completion of 2 yrs in the program. It’s difficult to get accepted without a masters, so consider me an outlier and not the standard. I’m also on course to (hopefully) graduate a year early—which means I’ll have my doctorate before I turn 30! You too can be an overachiever with the help of OCD, anxiety, and sleep deprivation (not an endorsement, tho).

what does otw mean in your ao3 post about academics being assholes

Organization for Transformative Works! The OTW formed before the AO3 did. You can read more about it here: https://fanlore.org/wiki/Organization_for_Transformative_Works

Concerning your post on AO3 and the pettiness of academics - you mentioned the real, serious negative issues concerning AO3. Might you expand more on that? What do you find to be the negative aspects of AO3?

Ah yes. So there is one “big” thing that occasionally came up as a negative in my interviews and research. Fandom has a long and storied history of racism. It’s not isolated to the AO3, but several of the POC I spoke to said they dislike the fact that there’s no way to mark a work as racist, or warn others about it (usually, if an individual points out that, say, an author has treated Finn as a Big Black Dick and not, you know, a human being, the author isn’t particularly interested in noting that their own work is problematic. See also: slave AUs. Where Finn is a slave.Yikes.). While the majority of POC I spoke to didn’t advocate for some sort of censure of these works in the terms of use (some did), what most wanted was a way of being able to warn others, or receive a warning, that a work is racist. Implementing something like that is, obviously, complex (if not impossible) however. Personally? I doubt it will happen. Related, and perhaps more important, when POC tend to speak critically about the erasure or infantilization or animalization of non-white characters, white authors often 1. police tone rather than engage with the criticism, 2. focus more on defending themselves rather than actually examining their, maybe accidental, biases/stereotypes or 3. cry bullying or kinkshaming instead of actually listening to what POC are saying. Again, not an issue isolated to the AO3, but an issue nonetheless that we, as a community, need to recognize (for more on this history, check out, for example, https://fanlore.org/wiki/RaceFail_%2709). There’s also the whole “should illegal sexual things--like underage or pedophilia-- be allowed,” which I don’t have the energy to dissect right now, but the overwhelming majority of folks I spoke to were of the “if you don’t like it, don’t read works with that tag. If it’s not tagged correctly, close the tab” school of thought. The AO3 has always purported itself as a hosting, not a policing, organization, so I doubt that will ever change.

#q&a #answered asks #fandom studies #AO3 #x wants the (ph)d

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forasecondtherewedwon · 5 years

Note

Prompts 10 and 36 just scream Spideychelle. They don't have to be written together, though that might tickle your fancy too

Thanks for the prompts, @soonersgirl86 and Anon! I did end up writing 10 and 36 together, so thank you for putting that idea in my head! Hope you enjoy the results!

The Game’s a Foot on BluePairing:Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle)Rating: TWord count: 1764

10.“You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”

36. “I’d be fine having sex with the same person forthe rest of my life, if it wasn’t the same sex every single time.”

When you grew up as the ‘smart kid,’ you knew it. You wereeither fawned over or pushed too hard by your parents. Either admired orresented by your siblings. Your classmates simultaneously teased you and wantedyou in their group for projects. Maybe you were lonely, or maybe you enrolledin a good high school, full of ‘smart kids.’ Then you might take it a stepfurther and join Academic Decathlon, grouping yourself with the students thatthe rest of the overachievers thought of as the ‘smart kids.’ Once you’dreached this level, this upper echelon of tomorrow’s leaders, you couldn’t justplay a board game in your spare time. At least, that was what Flash was attemptingto convince them of.

MJ was currently trying to disappear into the thick cushionsat one end of the couch in Flash’s family’s living room. Every time herobnoxious teammate paced by her, she got a lungful of air that had the generalscent of Too Much Body Spray. She was full of regret; one surprise, come-from-behindvictory during a Decathlon scrimmage with another local school had made herfeel dangerously friendly towards the losers she captained and, in the insanityof the moment, she’d spoken two fateful words: “team bonding.”

Now the entire team was spending their Saturday nighttogether at the Thompsons’ while Flash’s parents had a ‘romantic weekend’(Flash’s words―uh, barf) in Las Vegas. Weird family. Somewhere between animpromptu video game championship and the time the tower of pizzas arrived (apparentlya purchase that qualified as an emergency, subsequently charged to Mr.Thompson’s credit card), MJ had identified sinking into the depths of the couchas the least obvious escape route. They just had to forget about her for awhile. If she was completely still, there would eventually be an opportunity tobook it to the door and taste the freedom of her old life. A life before teambonding.

But then Flash started in on his board games rant and beforehe’d reached the end of it (she hoped there actually was an end), he’d beguncounting the other people in the room in case teams needed to be formed. Whatpissed MJ off even more than being counted for participation reasons was thefact that Flash didn’t know how many people were in Decathlon. Not like theyhad biweekly practices or he’d been on the team for three years with very fewnew faces or anything. Moron.

“So we combine them,” he insisted. “Play multiple games atonce.”

“More challenging,” Cindy agreed, perking up next to MJ. “Ilike it.”

“Bonding is cancelled,” MJ protested wearily. “I’m thecaptain.”

Flash rounded on her, crossing his arms.

“Well, there should be another captain, for, like, moraleand chilling!” he said. “And that’s me.”

“That’s the last thing we need,” she grumbled.

“You’re wrong,” Flash argued, “and I’ll prove it.”

That was probably when she should’ve protested harderinstead of slouching off to the bathroom, but hey, she’d drunk two cans ofginger ale and her bladder was feeling it. Constant small sips meant shorterresponses and therefore, fewer chances of being engaged in conversation. Now,walking back into the living room, MJ saw that she was going to pay for her peebreak and pay dearly.

There was a creased Twister mat unfolded on the floor.

Logically, there wouldn’t be room for them all on theplastic sheet, but solving that problem was another thing they’d done while shewas gone. (She’d been two minutes! What the hell?!) These devious,academically-accomplished bastards―had already laid out and begun the alternategame, what looked like a combination of Clue and Life. Betty was sitting withher legs neatly folded, hashing out rules that seemed to require players tosolve the murder before they reached retirement. Oh, and the killer was one ofthe family members they would collect on the way.

MJ was going to lose her shit. If she was about to be heldagainst her will for… who knew how long, potentially hours… she would have atleast wanted to be in the group that wouldn’t be contorting themselves to reachthe correct coloured circle.

She could almost convince herself that was how she felt aslong as she didn’t make eye contact with Peter, staring at her from the otherside of the Twister mat. MJ swallowed and did what anyone with a massive secretcrush and a deficient sense of self-preservation would do: she peeled off hersocks, rolled up the cuffs of her boyfriend jeans, and stepped up to the edgeof the mat.

A dozen rounds in and she was lying to herself again. It wasobviously Flash’s body spray that made her want to knock him over, not the factthat he was positioned between her and Peter. (Yeah right.) Maybe he’d toppleon his own if she announced that she knew Peter was Spider-Man. Was that anappropriate conversation starter? Parties weren’t really her thing.

MJ eyed Peter as he placed his left hand on yellow.Seriously, was no one else paying attention to the ease with which that nerdshifted his limbs? You didn’t get casual strength and defined arm muscles likethat from constructing Lego Death Stars, that was for damn sure. It was thelatest in a long, long trail of breadcrumbs she’d been gathering for months. Sheclosed her eyes for a second and refocused on the game. Again, the urge to bumpFlash possessed her. But she wasn’t supposed to wish for him to be out―Flashwas on her team. Twister wasn’t meant to be a team sport, but Christ, thesetouchy-feely saps.

Ned, who had apparently been killed off in Clue/Life (yeah,she really hadn’t gotten a good grasp of the rules, or they’d evolved), was nowworking the Twister spinner and cheerfully reading out each round’saccompanying question. Because it had to be a combination of games. Because,again, Flash was a moron.

“Right foot blue, MJ,” he directed. (Fucking easy for him tosay, she thought as she stretched with a grunt.) “And your question…” Ned drewa card from the deck. “Would you rather have sex with the same person for therest of your life, or never get to have sex with anyone more than once?”

“Flash, where did you get these questions?” she wondered, movingher foot with a smack.

It wasn’t the first time she’d asked, but he was being cageyabout it. Honestly, most of them sounded like they’d come from some kind of sextherapy manual. Oh god, maybe it was a real game and his disgustingly-in-loveparents played it.

“Just answer,” Flash demanded. “I can’t…. stay…”

He slipped and fell on his ass. MJ blurted out a laugh. Finally,she was having fun at team bonding night.

Flash extricated himself from the mat, being a good enoughsport not to try to take MJ or Peter down as he made his exit, going to watchClue/Life. Peter and MJ were the only two left now. MJ rotated her footexperimentally on its circle, making her toes brush Peter’s. A blush raced uphis face like a burning match. Fascinating.

“MJ?” Ned asked, waiting.

“Uh, can you come back to me?”

He frowned.

“You’re supposed to―”

“They’re fake rules,” she reminded him, “and Peter doesn’tcare. I’ll answer my question after he moves.”

Peter shrugged. Ned sighed dramatically.

“Fine, but I think you should be setting a better example ascaptain.”

“Noted.” She rolled her eyes.

“’K, Peter…” He paused as the spinner whirled around. “Lefthand blue.”

MJ clenched her teeth together and squeezed her lips shut asshe analyzed the circles surrounding his current location. She would not smileshe would not smile she would not smile―Peter lunged towards her and, aftermaybe a second’s worth of hesitation, reached his arm over her extended leginstead of under it. She had her stomach to the ceiling, braced on hands and feetlike a crab, which had been extremely unsexy until Peter positioned himselflike he was about to climb on top of her. The front of his t-shirt draped overher thigh. MJ wasn’t sure he strictly had to be that close. She narrowed hereyes.

Dammit, he’d been playing a long game too.

After settling into his new posture by rocking a bit on hishands, he glanced up, flicking hair out of his eyes. They looked at each other.Yep, definitely dammit.

“Back to you,” Ned reminded her. “No more passing.”

“What was the question again?” she checked, trying to soundbored.

“She’s stalling,” Peter accused. Their eyes held for asecond. “MJ has the best memory in this room.”

Playful complaints? Flattery? And, oh, he wanted her toanswer the question? She would answer that question.

“I’d be fine having sex with the same person for the rest ofmy life,” MJ told Ned (while really, actually, telling Peter), “if it wasn’tthe same sex every single time.”

She was almost certain he’d started to lean over her bodymore before shifting back. And his mouth was open. Though she never stared athis mouth. (Another lie.)

“What if it was one person who behaved like two people?” Nedasked gleefully.

Peter’s head whipped around to shoot his friend a wide-eyed lookthat, to MJ, blatantly said shut up.Could they make it any more obvious that Peter had a secret identity? It wasbaffling. These were the stupidest smart kids she’d ever had the misfortune ofmaking friends with… and in one case, accidentally falling head over heels for.If they were going to be that dumb,she would indulge herself in a moment of pretend ignorance.

“Like roleplay or something?” she asked. Peter made a weirdsound in his throat. MJ decided to go in for the kill, catching his eye. “Yeah,maybe. I’m kind of into masks.”

“I forfeit,” Peter announced, springing to his feet.

Once he’d bounded away down the hall to the bathroom, MJ letherself collapse onto the mat.

“So I guess it’s pretty much impossible that you haven’tnoticed Peter likes you,” Ned summarized, idly flicking the spinner.

“I’ve noticed lots of things,” she replied, smiling as shestared at the high ceiling.

She chose not to specify that one of them wasPeter’s super alter ego. Or that another was the bulge in the front of hisjeans he hadn’t managed to completely block with his hands before running out.Not that MJ would ever look.

Pick a prompt for a Spideychelle drabble!

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animefan299110 · 4 years

Text

Family Matters Chapter 10-The Truth Revealed

Hey guys, this is AnimeFan299110! Sorry it took so long for this chapter to be published, but personal reasons and other projects kept me busy. Again, I do not own Boku no Hero Academia, its characters, or its locations. They are all owned by Kohei Horikoshi, Jump Comics, and Funimation.

And now, without further ado,...here is the newest installment of Family Matters!

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SMASH!

Midoriya leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding being crushed by the gigantic robot's fist. The city district was in shambles; some of the buildings were nothing but rubble and half the street was destroyed. Noticing that the robot started turning toward him, he knew he had to stop it once and for all. When the robot stopped turning, Midoriya activated Full Cowl and leapt into the air.

"Detroit..." Midoriya said as he balled his hand into a fist, "Smash!" His fist connected with the robot's head, causing the metal to bend and break. The robot keeled over backwards and crashed to the ground. Midoriya's feet found solid ground, and he waited in case of an oncoming attack. Only when the robot shut down did he relax.

"Not bad, Midoriya." The boy turned to see Mr. Aizawa come out of a hidden doorway along with the rest of Class 1-A. They were in a giant circular room at UA that provided virtual reality simulations for training purposes. The room's computer had data on every student at the school and would calibrate different scenarios based on the student's Quirk.

"You were able to beat the robot within the time limit," Mr. Aizawa continued, "but your environmental damage could have been minimized. Remember, you and your opponent are not the only ones around. You should always be mindful of other heroes, civilians, property around you, and how your actions could affect them. Right," he added, turning to the rest of the class, "that's all for today. Class dismissed."

The rest of the class dispersed, with one girl in particular rushing toward Midoriya. "You're not hurt, are you, Deku?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, Uraraka," he said. "Just a few scratches and scrapes, but nothing too serious. How about you?"

"Still a little nauseous from making too many things float," she admitted, rubbing the back of her head. "But other than that, I'm fine."

"Glad to hear," Midoriya said, smiling at his girlfriend while she did the same. For a few moments, they remained where they were until…

"Ah, young love," Sero teased, "doesn't it just warm your heart?" Uraraka and Midoriya's faces reddened while some of their classmates snickered at Sero's remark.

"I think it's sweet that she's concerned," Tooru said. "It just shows how much she cares about him."

The two lovers sighed in defeat. It had been two weeks since they went on their "date" and they had confessed their feelings toward each other. Unbeknownst to them, Mina had spread the news to the rest of the class. Needless to say, there were some mixed reactions when Midoriya and Uraraka came downstairs the next day.

The girls, besides Mina, rushed Uraraka, squealing with delight and asking for details on how it happened. Most of the boys, including Kirishima and Kaminari, congratulated Midoriya on finally confessing his feelings toward her. Others, like Tokoyami and Shoji, only nodded in approval. Mineta ended up sobbing and berating Midoriya for stealing his chance to "cop a feel,"which earned him a stab in the eye from Kyoka's earphone jack.. Iida managed to pull both of them aside and expressed his happiness in knowing that his two best friends were together. The only one who didn't participate in the festivities was Bakugou, who only gave his signature glare before eating his breakfast. Midoriya wasn't bothered by it; he knew Bakugou wasn't the type to give compliments.

As the boys were getting changed into their school uniforms, Midoriya smiled a bit at the thought of Uraraka. Despite the periodic teasing from his classmates, he was happy with their relationship. Since this was the first relationship for both of them, they were currently taking things slow and easy. They were only affectionate toward each other when it was just themselves. They would kiss from time to time, but those were only simple kisses that weren't too intimate. And they called each other by their first names, but only in private. But for some reason, it didn't seem to bother them. They both felt, given their current situation, that this was acceptable. Midoriya's smile widened at the thought of Eri being elated that her "mama" and "papa" were finally together.

"Hey, Deku." A gruff voice snapped Midoriya out of his thoughts. He looked around and only saw Bakugou next to him; the others had left to return to the dorms.

"Y-Yes, Kacchan, wh-what is it?" he asked nervously, his classmate's glare boring into him.

"So you and Round-Face are officially dating, huh?" Bakugou asked, his gaze never leaving Midoriya.

"Oh," Midoriya said before scratching the back of his head. "Yes, we are. I-I-I mean, we still haven't gone on an official date, but we do k-"

"Deku, I don't really give a shit if you two are together or not. What I want to know is…have you told her yet?"

Midoriya only stared in confusion at Bakugou's words before asking, "Told her what?"

"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME, SHITHEAD!" Midoriya flinched. "I'm asking if you told Round-Face about your Quirk."

"Oh," Midoriya said before his face turned pale. "Well…no. I-I just don't see why I should-"

Bakugou grabbed Midoriya by the collar of his shirt and pinned him against the lockers. "Listen, dumbass, I get that shit like that is confidential, but you have to tell her."

"…But why?"

"Because you're in a relationship with her, moron," Bakugou added. "Relationships are based on trust. And if you can't be honest with her about shit like this, how can she trust you in the future?"

"B-but All Might said-"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT ALL MIGHT SAYS! DECIDE FOR YOURSELF FOR ONCE WITHOUT USING THAT BONY SKELETON AS AN EXCUSE!" Midoriya felt Bakugou's grip against his collar loosen. "Listen, Deku," Bakugou said, "Do whatever you want, but if Round-Face finds out later rather than sooner and she doesn't trust you afterwards, don't say I didn't warn you." And with that, Bakugou left the locker room, leaving Midoriya with his thoughts.

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For the next few days, Bakugou's words racked inside Midoriya's head. There were some points during the day when he was so distracted by the thought that he would miss a question in class or an order during training. When any of his classmates asked if he was alright, Midoriya would say yes and that he was just tired.

'What should I do?' he kept asking himself. 'Should I tell Ochako, or shouldn't I? I mean, we're in a relationship and she trusts me. But if I told her, what if she doesn't see me as this great hero and breaks up with me? What if I tell her and it's not even Ochako? What if it's some villain in disguise who'd be willing to give that information to the League? Then everyone I know and love will be in danger and-'

"Izuku?"

"AHA!" Midoriya cried out in surprise. He turned around to see Uraraka looking at him in concern.

"Are you okay?" Uraraka asked. "You've been acting very strange these past few days. Is something bothering you?"

"N-no! Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. I just…haven't had enough sleep lately." His nervous grin soon faltered when he noticed the doubt in Uraraka's eyes.

"Are you sure, Izuku?" She cupped his cheek. "You know you can talk to me if something is bothering you." Midoriya smiled before taking her hand gently in his and moving it from his face. He felt extremely lucky to have a girlfriend who cared about him as she did.

"I'm fine, Ochako, honest," he said. "I've just had a lot on my plate lately." His cell phone vibrated, indicating a message. Midoriya picked it up, read it, and pocketed it. "I gotta go," he said. "My weekly meeting with All Might. I'll see you later." He then gave her a quick peck on the cheek before turning and walking away.

"I'll see you when you get back, Izuku." He heard Uraraka call out. Once again, he failed to hide the smile on his face when he heard her say his name. That smile soon faltered when he remembered that he was hiding his secret from her. Maybe it was something he could talk to All Might about. After walking for ten minutes, he arrived at the faculty break room.

"Young Midoriya," his mentor said upon seeing him, "nice of you to join me. I hope things are going well for you." Midoriya only nodded before taking a seat across from him. "I've spoken to your teachers; they say your grasp on your Quirk has improved and your academic scores have remained consistently high. We may have to do something about Black Whip, though. Perhaps I could talk to Nezu about holding a private training se- Are you listening, my boy?"

It was then that Midoriya noticed All Might looking at him inquisitively. "Something's troubling you, Young Midoriya," the former No. 1 Hero stated after a few more seconds of silence. "What is it?"

Midoriya gulped at his mentor's question and twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Well, All Might," he began, gazing downward, "I-I've been thinking lately and…well…" He clenched his fists before shouting, "I've been thinking about telling Uraraka about my Quirk!"

There was a deafening silence as Midoriya's statement echoed throughout the room. Midoriya kept his eyes shut, waiting for the impending lecture he was expecting to get. After a few moments of silence, however, he opened his eyes to see All Might with a neutral look on his face.

"I-I mean, I know you said not to tell people about One For All," Midoriya continued, "but I trust Uraraka. I know she can keep a secret and not tell anyone. But then again, I could be putting her life in danger by letting her know about One For All's secret-"

"Young Midoriya."

Midoriya immediately went quiet as he glanced at his mentor. The former hero's face remained neutral as he asked, "You said you trust her, correct?"

"Yeah."

All Might sighed before saying, "If you think that she can be trusted, then tell her. I cannot tell you what to do; you have to decide that for yourself. But I am warning you now, Young Midoriya." The boy gulped as All Might frowned. "Be careful who you reveal this information to. The risk of any villain finding out will grow whenever you tell others about One For All. It will not only endanger you, but those you care about as well." Midoriya only nodded. "Very well," All Might said, his features softening, "if that is all you wish to talk about, then I suggest you get back to your dormitory."

"Y-yes sir," Midoriya said, picking up his backpack.

"Wait." All Might's voice stopped him from opening the door. "Your mother wanted me to tell you to call her when you get the chance. She wants to discuss something with you."

"Um…o-okay," Midoriya said, failing to hide the concern and confusion in his voice. And with that, he left the office.

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Some time later, he found himself back at Alliance Heights, where he was greeted by his friends, Uraraka, and Eri. While Iida was busy getting the ingredients for dinner, Midoriya pulled out his phone and sent a message to Uraraka that said:

I need to talk to you in private after dinner.

Is that alright?

His gaze turned toward her just in time to see her open her phone and stare at it. Her gaze then met his and she nodded silently before resuming her conversation with Mina and Tooru.

Dinner turned out to be katsudon, sliced tonkatsu cooked with a mixture of eggs and onions and served over a bowl of rice. As the students ate their meal, some also listened in on Eri, who talked about her school day and how the teacher had brought a guinea pig to class. Midoriya, meanwhile, kept his gaze at Uraraka, looking for any signs of worry. But she seemed as calm as ever as she talked to Momo about today's lesson and where she could improve her hero skills.

After everyone had finished with their meals, Midoriya made his way upstairs to his room. He sat on the bed, breathing slowly in order to gather his thoughts. He didn't have to wait long as he heard knocking on the other end of his door. He opened it to reveal Uraraka standing before him.

"H-hi."

"Hi." The two stood in awkward silence until Midoriya moved to the side in order to let her in. When she did, Midoriya locked the door behind them and set himself down on the bed next to Uraraka. "So," she began, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

"W-well," Midoriya began, "the truth is…I…" He paused, unsure of how to tell her. Finally deciding to just rip the figurative band-aid off, he took a deep breath and turned to his girlfriend with a look of determination. "Okay," he resumed, "what I am about to tell you cannot leave this room. The fewer people know, the better. I'm only telling you this because I trust you and I don't want to keep any secrets from you. Okay?"

"O-okay," Uraraka said.

"The truth is…" Midoriya stated once again before looking down at his right hand, "my Quirk…isn't my own."

"Huh?" Uraraka asked in confusion.

Midoriya sighed. "Do you remember All For One, All Might's nemesis?" He waited for Uraraka to nod her head before he continued. "Well, he has the ability to steal other's Quirks and give them away. One day, he decided to forcibly give his seemingly Quirkless little brother, a Quirk that allowed him to stockpile power within his body. What neither of them realized was that the little brother already had a Quirk with no effect other than that it could be transferred to others. His Quirk and the Quirk given to him by All For One merged into one and became One For All." He paused so that Uraraka could take all of that information in.

"Having a deep-seeded sense of justice, the little brother tried to stop All For One, but he ultimately failed. He then decided to entrust One For All to future generations of heroes, hoping that one day, it would be strong enough to stop All For One. As time went on, One For All grew stronger with each user. It was passed on through six users before it was wielded by All Might."

"But," Uraraka said in confusion, "what does all of that have to do with you?"

Midoriya sighed. "Because I'm the current holder of One For All." He heard Uraraka utter a gasp at the revelation. "I was born without a Quirk. My original destiny was to be a nobody, someone whose life meant nothing and would be nothing. For that, I was ridiculed by my fellow classmates, even during middle school." He paused to smile. "Then I met All Might. Originally, he told me that I couldn't be a hero without a Quirk and that there was honor in being a policeman. But then he saw me trying to save Kacchan from a slime monster and he changed his mind. He decided to make me his pupil and the ninth user of One For All. Ever since then, I've been using it as my Quirk."

The words reverberated around the room when Midoriya finished his story. Though he wanted to feel as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he still wanted to hear Uraraka talk and ask questions first.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked after what felt like an eternity. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"It's like I said," Midoriya admitted, "I trust you. I also wanted to tell you because I don't want any secrets between us now that we're dating. But," he said while his features saddened, "All Might also warned me that the risk of any villain finding out grows if I tell others about One For All. It would not only endanger me, but those I care about as well." He then looked at Uraraka and said, "And I didn't want anyone I care about to get hurt, especially you, my mom, and Eri."

Midoriya felt a hand grip his; he looked down to see Uraraka holding his hand. He looked back up to see her face. "Wow," she said, "that sure is a lot to take in all at once. Does anyone else know about this?"

"Only a select few." He admitted. "Principal Nezu, Gran Torino, Recovery Girl, All For One, a detective on the police force named Tsukauchi Naomasa, and Kacchan."

Uraraka glanced up at her boyfriend. "Well, I am glad that you told me the truth and that you trust me with this information. But I want you to promise me a few things." She waited for Midoriya to nod before she continued. "First, no more secrets between us. We share everything with each other." Her expression softened. "Second, if something is bothering you, don't be afraid to talk to me about it. I'm your girlfriend; I want to be here for you and help you in any way."

Midoriya smiled. "Sure thing, Ochako. And in turn," he added, "you can talk to me if something is bothering you as well." He waited for her to nod in agreement before moving a strand of hair behind her ear and kissing her. He then felt her lips press against his and her right hand caressing his cheek, which caused him to smile against the kiss. After a while, the two broke apart for air. They smiled before resting their foreheads against each other, not wanting the moment to end.

KNOCK KNOCK

The two jumped at the sound coming from outside the door. "W-who is it?" Midoriya asked.

"Mama? Papa?" Eri's small voice called out. "Are you okay? You've been gone for a while."

Both students sighed in relief knowing it was just Eri and not one of their classmates. "We're okay, sweetie," Uraraka said. "Papa and I were just having a talk. We'll be down in a minute."

"Okay." The response was soon followed by the sound of little feet walking away. Once they faded away, Uraraka and Midoriya both looked at each other and laughed at how freaked out they were at almost being caught.

"Ready to head back downstairs?" Midoriya asked once they had composed themselves. Uraraka nodded, and together they both met up with Eri and the others.

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"Uraraka, Izuku!" Inko said when she saw the two students standing outside her door. "It's so good to see you both!"

"Hi, Mom."

"Hello, Mrs. Midoriya."

Inko hugged her son tightly before hugging Uraraka with equal affection. Midoriya couldn't help but smile at how warmly his mother treated his girlfriend. When he had called her a week ago to tell her about he and Uraraka being together, he thought she would have a panic attack and cry. However, she ended up loving the concept that her son had found someone who loved him for who he was. "I hope you didn't have any trouble getting here," Inko said after she shut the door.

"Not at all," Midoriya said as they made their way to the living room. "We hit a few snags here and there on the train, but we were able to get here no pro-" He paused when he noticed a familiar figure sitting on the couch. "A-All Might?"

"Ah, Young Midoriya, Uraraka," All Might said with a small smile before indicating to the two chairs across from him. "Please, have a seat."

Uraraka and Midoriya both sat down in confusion; they hadn't expected All Might to be here when they had agreed to visit Inko. The three sat in awkward silence while Inko prepared some tea. All Might drummed his fingers on his cane, Midoriya tapped the back of his feet on the floor, and Uraraka occupied herself by glancing away and looking at her surroundings. After a while, Inko returned with said tea and sat down next to All Might while Midoriya and Uraraka both poured themselves a cup.

"Wow, Mrs. Midoriya," Uraraka said after she took a sip, "this tea is really great!"

"Thank you, Uraraka," Inko said, "but it really was nothing." All Might and Midoriya couldn't help but smile at how bashful Inko was. "However," she added, her expression turning serious, "there is a reason I wanted you to come here." She turned to Midoriya and said, "Izuku, there's something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you years ago, but I was too afraid to say it." She then froze in fear, afraid to tell him the truth. It was then that she felt a bony hand rest on her shoulder. She turned to look at All Might, who gave her a small smile of reassurance.

"Izuku," Inko continued once she composed herself, "the truth is…your father isn't working in the States. He's been dead for almost seventeen years." She waited for the words to sink in as Uraraka covered her mouth in shock and Midoriya's eyes widened. Inko breathed deeply before continuing. "He had been called to handle a hostage situation in downtown Tokyo involving a rich CEO's family and a gang of villains. Even though it was a success, he sacrificed himself to save a child from falling debris. Four years later, when you asked me where he was, I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth. So I fabricated a story that he was off in the States doing hero work."

Silence filled the room as Inko finished her story. All Might wore a neutral expression while Uraraka looked shocked. Midoriya, however, kept his gaze at the ground as he rose from his chair and began to walk towards Inko. It was then that tears began to fall from Inko's eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry, Izuku," she said through her tears. "I-I know I should have told you years ago, but I was too afraid that you'd hate me for lying to you. I understand if you're mad at me and never want to speak to me again and-"

"Mom, it's okay," Midoriya said, causing his mother to look up in surprise. "I get why you lied to me; I was a little kid. I probably would have been more confused if you had told the truth back then. And if I'm going to be honest, I had a feeling that Dad wasn't in the States. I didn't admit it because I wanted you to say it when you felt comfortable." He smiled as he added, "But I could never hate you, Mom; please don't ever think that I would or will."

Inko's eyes soon sprouted fresh tears as she hugged her son. Midoriya hugged her back and soon he began to cry as well. All Might smiled as he looked on at the spectacle before him while Uraraka wiped away her own tears. After a few minutes, the two separated from each other.

"Thanks for telling me the truth, Mom," Midoriya said once he composed himself and had wiped away his tears, "I appreciate it." After a slight pause, he added, "So what else is new?"

"Well, the truth is," Inko said in a more calming manner, "I've actually started dating again."

"Really?" Midoriya asked in surprise. "That's great, Mom; I'm happy for you!"

"Yes, well," Inko said with a smile, "I figured it was time to put myself back on the market since you were living at school."

Midoriya smiled; he truly was happy that his mother was dating someone. His mother was the kindest and most caring woman in the world and she deserved to be with someone who would treat her the same way. It would be weird to see her with someone at first, but as long as she was happy, Midoriya was contented with whomever she was with. "So," he asked after sipping his cup of tea, "who's the lucky guy?"

"Well…" Inko paused as she smiled at All Might and took his hand into hers, which he responded to by squeezing it.

Uraraka, meanwhile, noticed this and let out an audible gasp. "Wow; congratulations to you both!" she exclaimed with joy. "Well, I'm sure you'll both be happy together. Right, Izuku-GAH!" She cried out, for she had seen Midoriya frozen in place as if he had turned to stone, a look of utter shock etched on his face.

"I-Izuku!"

"Young Midoriya!"

"Izuku, my baby, please be okay!"

Midoriya then started shaking violently like a soda bottle that was ready to burst. Knowing what was to come, Uraraka grabbed a nearby book and placed it over her head.

"WAAAAAH!" Midoriya cried out as his tears gushed out like waterfalls. One of the waterfalls landed on the book covering Uraraka while the other ended up on the floor. "M-my mom a-and All M-Might...are dating!" He exclaimed before he gushed out another stream of tears.

Uraraka, meanwhile, looked at Inko and said, "I think he approves."

It took some time to calm Midoriya down. When he had composed himself, he then asked, "So, when did you two start dating?"

"About three weeks ago." Inko said. "I got in contact with All Might to ask how you were faring at school and he asked me if I wanted to join him for a cup of coffee, to which I said yes."

At that moment, All Might turned to Midoriya and said, "Young Midoriya, I want you to know that I am not trying to replace your father. I know that you just see me as your mentor and-"

"All Might," Midoriya said, "it's okay. I know you would never intend to do that. And in all seriousness, I'm happy that you two are dating." He continued with a smile, "I couldn't think of two people who deserve each other more than you two." A cough caused him to turn and see Uraraka give him a questioning look. "I-I mean, besides us, of course." The scene caused All Might and Inko to chuckle.

The rest of the stay was uneventful; Uraraka told Inko what she planned to do once she became a hero, causing Inko to smile in admiration of the girl's desire to help her parents financially. Meanwhile, Midoriya told his mom and All Might about Eri and what she was learning in school. At some point in the conversation, he talked about how Eri was looking forward to seeing her "Grandma" again. Inko blushed at the idea of being called a grandmother so soon.

Soon, it was time for Midoriya and Uraraka to head back to Alliance Heights. After saying their goodbyes, the two students made their way to the street. They turned back and waved at the adults, who smiled at each other and waved back.

Midoriya felt something touch his hand; he looked down to see Uraraka holding it. "I think your mom and All Might make a really great couple." She said while smiling.

Midoriya returned the gesture before squeezing her hand. "Yeah, me too."

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And that concludes another chapter of Family Matters. Again, I am so sorry that it took forever to publish. I promise that the next chapter will be released quicker than this one. Kudos to my beta readers RD1042 and Tmalasia. Also, don't forget to favorite, review, and follow for more updates. Until then, this is AnimeFan299110 encouraging you all to go beyond...PLUS ULTRA!

#green tea family #midoriya izuku #uraraka ochako #eri midoriya #family matters

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