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lavendertales · 9 months

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SEÑORITA: Chapter 5

pairing: Javier Peña x Murphy!f!reader

summary: you agree to go out with Steve & Connie to get their idea of a blind date out of the way. but once Javier arrives, you're nothing if not overly excited to give your time to him instead.

word count: 5.7k

series warnings: reluctant friends to lovers, lots of playful banter, mutual pining, slow burn, secret relationship, filthy smut.

chapter warnings: mentions of alcohol & smoking; jealous!Javi, tension, mutual pining.

gif: @beldros

series masterlist | AO3

Within the following days, you allowed guilt to chew you and spit you up. You avoided Javier’s eyes at any cost, barely responding to his “good morning” as you continued your morning ritual together. It felt tainted, such a small act of curtesy; tainted by basic biological needs, filthily and sneakily performed in the darkness of your bedroom, culminating in a name you refused to moan in full, but one that still lingered on your mind.

Doesn’t matter whether you said Javier’s name in full or not. He was the one you thought of in the throes of seeking your solo ecstasy and now, whenever you were met with his polite face, bright and early, you felt your cheeks burn red as you inevitably recalled burying your fingers in your wet heat, thinking they were his instead. You were beyond embarrassed, and you swore that under no circumstances he could ever know. Not that you believed the topic could ever come up, but just for safe measure, you had no intention of confessing this to either Connie or Sylvie.

It was just a momentary lapse of judgment, the result of a long dry spell and the presence of a charming, handsome man in your house. Nothing else.

But Saturday rolls around, and you find yourself wondering whether Javier would join you for drinks or not. He hadn’t made his answer clear when you asked, not even replying something sly when you mentioned you were quite certain that you were being set up for a blind date. Maybe he really didn’t want to witness all that; after all, that would mean he’d be the fifth wheel at a table with two couples.

Not the most pleasant atmosphere, and this you know firsthand.

So maybe Javier has no intention of showing up tonight. Truth be told, it’s probably for the best; you don’t need to be sipping alcoholic drinks and avoid looking at him in fear that he’ll notice your blush, ask about it, and then find out he was the star of your random moment of weakness.

You make an effort for tonight to look as good as possible. You find yourself excited about the idea of going out, letting loose a little and simply living. You put on a black dress with spaghetti straps that goes just above your knees, a pair of sandals and do your makeup to the best of your abilities. Then you take a cab and head downtown, your heart thrumming in your chest as you remember that tonight you’re most likely going on a blind date.

It was Connie’s idea; she told you about this guy from her job—Dean, was it?—that would apparently be a great match for you. Funny, kind, smart and a cook—the description sounded too good to be true, really, but Connie managed to spark your interest so you agreed to go, more on the premise of “let’s see what happens”. You found that living life from day to day was better than planning weeks or months ahead and then ending up disappointed or even hurt when certain plans wouldn’t come to fruition.

Which means that you have no plan for tonight. You just want to enjoy some good music, have some drinks and maybe, hopefully, dance.

You notice Connie first upon entering the bar, mostly because she’s wearing a white dress that definitely stands out in the washed out crowd of grey and black. You wave at her and she excitedly waves back, then you notice Steve sitting next to her, looking a bit uncomfortable. You’ve been on speaking terms, but you haven’t hung out since that dinner at their new apartment, so you understood the level of discomfort.

Thank goodness you were in an environment which provided an endless supply of drinks.

“Wow, you look gorgeous!” Connie exclaims as she comes in to hug you.

“You look just as gorgeous, if not more. Look at you, little miss angel!”

Your eyes meet Steve’s, and you spontaneously decide to hug him as well. He’s stiff, clearly taken aback, but not a second too late he reciprocates, wrapping his large arms around you, thus nearly covering you completely.

“Long time no see, huh?” you tease.

“A few weeks, hasn’t it?”

“I’d say so. Where’s Olivia tonight?”

“Going to bed early club. My mom offered to watch her, so we have the night off,” Connie explains.

“Feels good to be out of the house.”

“Tell me about it!”

You have a seat, ordering a Long Island Tea, and strike up a conversation about work. You gladly listen to Steve’s stories from the precinct, they are far more interesting than anything that usually goes on at the library.

But now your mind is somehow set back on Javier, so you take a bigger sip of your drink.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you that Javier stopped by the library last week,” you blurt out.

“He did?” Connie’s tone is filled with surprise.

“Yep. He was on his lunch break and wanted something to read.”

“What did he get?”

“A Pablo Neruda book.”

You abstain from laughing at Connie’s frown and her parted lips revealing shock.

“I know, I had the same reaction,” you say. “Would’ve never thought a guy like that reads romance poems.”

“Yeah. Me neither,” Steve says in a low voice.

“In Javier’s defense, there wasn’t much time to pick up a hobby like that in the middle of everything that was going on in Colombia.”

“Fair point.”

“He said he started reading poems shortly after returning to Laredo.”

Steve’s eyes shift onto your face in a feeble attempt to read through it and see if anything’s amiss, but you don’t give anything away. If there’s something you’re great at in this life, it’s hiding things from your big brother.

“Sounds like you’ve got to know him quite a bit,” Steve deadpans.

“We talked for like five minutes, handed him the book and called it a day.”

Nothing else happened.

“Well, we talked some more when he stopped by to fix my pipes but—“

Steve nearly chokes on his drink. “Excuse me?”

“Didn’t I mention that? How silly of me, I’m sorry. Yeah, I asked him if he could stop by my place to help me with the pipe issue I’ve been having. He was more than capable. Handled it like a pro, actually.”

There’s a big vein on the side of Steve’s forehead that’s about to burst at any given moment simply because from the way you phrased everything, you’re about 97% sure he’s picturing something else entirely and being beyond aggravated by the fact that he spend five, six days a week with Javier and the latter definitely did not mention this to him.

“Don’t dwell on it, big bro,” you tell him amused. “That vein of yours is about to pop.”

Connie chuckles behind her hand as she tries to hide away from the discussion, but her face changes when she glances in the direction of the entrance.

“Heads up, my colleague is here,” she turns to you excitedly. “Don’t freak out, but this is supposed to be kind of… well…”

“Connie, I know it’s supposed to be a blind date.”

Color drains from her cheeks. “Oh. I’m sorry, I just—“

To which you giggle, placing a hand over her exposed arm. “It’s fine. You weren’t exactly smooth about it.”

There’s plenty more Connie wishes to share with you, based on the way her lips remain parted and she stares at you desperately, but a man approaches the three of you at the bar, shaking hands with Steve, then briefly hugging Connie and—his eyes land on you.

“Hi,” he smiles, and oh shit, is that a dimple? “I’m Dean.”

You shake his hand, introducing yourself, and only then notice that he’s much taller than you. He has charcoal hair, styled nicely and carefully, and what appear to be green eyes. He’s wearing a black t-shirt underneath a leather jacket, and you gulp. He might not be a bad boy from Connie’s descriptions, but he sure has the look.

The only thing missing would be a tattoo and you’d even consider leaving this bar with him tonight.

“You are way more beautiful than what Connie said,” Dean smiles, and you already feel flustered. “And she did offer quite an in-depth description.”

“I’m glad to hear her words don’t do me justice then.”

“They really don’t.”

The way he’s staring down at you has you a little weak in the knees, but you do your best to remain composed. You cannot be acting out tonight, certainly not in front of Steve.

“Can I buy you a drink so we can go somewhere and get to know each other maybe?” Dean proposes.

“Sure, that sounds great.”

“What’s your poison of choice?”

“They don’t have that on the menu, but I’ll stick with a Long Island Tea.”

Dean chuckles, ordering exactly that and a greyhound. You turn around to ask him what he does for work, only to witness him removing his leather jacket and accidentally revealing a forearm tattoo that extends all the way to his bicep, by the look of it.

Oh no. oh, this is not good.

Calm down, girl. Just breathe.

“Maybe we can find a booth,” he suggest.

You’re stuck in some sort of trance as you keep glancing at his tattoo, but you quickly nod, hoping to dismiss the rush of emotions the entire image forces out of you.

“Told you she’d like him,” Connie playfully smacks Steve’s arm, visibly enthusiastic over the possibility of having set up a fantastic date for her sister-in-law.

“Dean’s a really cool guy.”

“They fit together quite nicely, don’t you think?”

“I’d say so, yeah.”

You spend the next forty minutes just talking to Dean and you gotta admit, he seems like a fine man. You find out he works in statistics—which undoubtedly means he’s smart—he has a dog, loves plants of all kinds, and he managed to squeeze several chuckles out of you in the past few minutes. Worst—aka best thing of them all—he’s a huge Star Wars nerd.

You’re sold on the idea that if by the time you finish this second drink and manage to dance with him, you might just take him home because the opportunity is too good to pass on. Dean doesn’t strike you as the one night stand kind of guy, but you decide to live even more in the moment and see where and how the night progresses.

By the third Long Island Tea, you decide to firstly cut yourself off, and secondly, if Dean keeps making you laugh, even as you manage to persuade him into dancing, you’ll almost have no choice but to take him home with you.

You are having the best time you’ve had in a long time; that much can be noticed even by Connie and Steve, who watch everything unfold from the bar. Everyone seems so focused on you and Dean that nobody notices the silhouette emerging from the shadows around 11:37 p.m., an exhausted look residing on his face as he makes his way through the crowd with an unquenchable thirst for some hard liquor and a cigarette.

God, he’d give anything to smoke right now; it’s been such a long afternoon stuck in the office trying to explain to that moron of a Lieutenant why the Berger case hasn’t been closed yet. But it’s been almost months since he last smoked, and he’s quite proud of the progress he's made, and there’s no solid reason to interrupt this marvelous streak he’s got going on.

That is, until he loosens his tie, takes off his blazer and orders a whiskey neat and in the sweaty crowd on the dance floor, he sees you.

He wasn’t even looking, not at first; his eyes were merely scanning the crowd, just eager to see anything else but case files before them, and somehow they managed to land on your silhouette, covered in what appears to be a rather sultry black dress, dancing the night away next to a guy who is so tall, it makes Javier squirm in his seat, feeling unusually small.

“Javi? What are you doing here?”

Steve’s the first one to approach him and they shake hands, followed by a brief kiss on Connie’s cheek.

“Wanted to blow off some steam,” Javier shouts towards them. “Your sister mentioned you guys were going out tonight.”

“She did?”

“Yep.”

“Glad you could join us!”

“Me too. Thrilled, really.”

The way he chugs his whiskey is anything but an indicator of his presumed excitement. He instantly orders a second one, the craving for nicotine even stronger when he has to force himself to peel his eyes from the dance floor.

“Who’s that?” Javier asks passively.

“Her blind date. Connie’s idea.”

“Guy from my office, his name’s Dean. Amazing guy.”

“Right, the blind date.”

“They really hit it off, look at them laughing!”

There is no reasonable explanation for the feeling that’s bubbling inside Javier’s chest. All he knows is that it’s something ugly that he deeply resents and spends the next half hour or so denying its existence, all the while stealing glances at you and this guy Dean.

And what he’s left with is the fact that you look really pretty when you’re happy.

It’s uncanny to think this way when he doesn’t see anything happening between the two of you, but even Javier cannot deny that tonight you look really ravishing and that seeing you smile is quite the sight.

You sure look happy dancing with that Dean guy. And Javier hates what it does to him because it’s all so bizarre and new to him. Though he draws one conclusion as he sits at the bar and sips from his third whiskey of the evening: he doesn’t like seeing another guy around you and that can only mean…

No. No fucking way.

It’s just a typical case of wanting what you can’t have. You’re off-limits, and Javier’s lizard, primal brain, along with the never-ending dry streak, decided that being stuck on you is a good idea. You’re cool and funny, sure, but still far from Javier’s usual type.

Which means that even if he were attracted to you—and you sure are a pretty girl, objectively speaking—he absolutely cannot sleep with you as a form of palate cleanser. If you were any other woman, maybe; but Steve’s little sister? Never in a million years.

The amber liquid in his glass worked its magic and loosened him up, though in the past it hasn’t been proven to be the best choice when around an attractive woman.

But knowing that you are beyond off-limits does help in a way. So he grits his teeth, swallows whatever it is that’s bothering him so deeply and forces himself to look away from the dance floor.

“You’ve got some moves!” Dean leans over to chuckle in your ear.

“Thanks! It’s mostly the Long Island Tea, but I gotta give credit to my college partying days.”

“Celebrated a lot, I take it?”

You grin, your hand resting ridiculously comfortable on his bicep. “Oh, Dean. You can’t even begin to comprehend.”

You faintly notice the way his eyebrows cock upwards, revealing surprise. He smiles, spinning you around to the rhythm of a song you do not recognize, and then he pulls you back to him.

“Listen, I have to make an appearance at a friend’s birthday party in a bit. Two blocks away. Would you like to come?”

You open your mouth to offer your response when you notice a third silhouette by Steve and Connie. You gulp, suddenly your back sweating more than before.

Shit.

“I’ll take a raincheck on that if it’s okay,” you smile politely.

“No problem. I guess we’ll be in touch?”

“Sure. It was nice spending time with you, Dean.”

“With you too.”

He leans over and presses a chaste kiss to your cheek and you feel that very same spot burning with flattery instead of guilt, which is a more than welcome change. But when your glare returns to the bar and you notice the figure dressed business rather than casual, you gulp and miraculously, your guilt returns full force.

In spite of your better judgment—which really left the building after your first drink—you make your way back to the bar, now face to face with a visibly exhausted and grumpy Javier.

“Hello there,” you greet him.

His face lights up once you address him—or so you’d like to think. Why on earth do you want to think that?

“Hello yourself,” Javier replies. “You look—“

“Where did Dean go?”

Steve’s question bothers you more than what you let reveal. “None of your business,” you reply.

“But I thought—“

“Let them be.”

You don’t say anything else to Javier, and neither does he, but somehow he still finds himself standing up from the rather uncomfortable chair and walking you back to the dance floor, as if that would make both of you invisible to your family.

“I was—what—what are you doing?”

Javier stares at you dumbfounded, his hands not even touching your waist, yet frozen in that very direction.

“I thought you wanted—“he begins, now questioning his every intention.

You shake your head, guiding his hands back to your hips and gulping with difficulty. God, your throat is like sand on paper.

“It’s fine,” you reassure him.

Of course the song in the fucking background had to be by Carlos Santana. Of fucking course. The song bumps all around you, Javier’s hands guiding you steadily along the rhythm and your body naturally following. It’s quite relaxing—if you wouldn’t be busy thinking about the way that your body seems to naturally respond to his touch, as if you’ve been doing this for years.

You were already sweaty from before, but now, with all the people grinding around you and the unbearable heat gathered from the alcohol and the dancing, your temples were dripping with beads of sweat, as well as your neck. You couldn’t help but notice that Javier suffered of the same predicament: he rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt, the first two buttons undone, and again you gulped. You are painfully reminded of the night a similar image had sent you over the edge, and you blush right there with his calloused hands pressed ever so gently on your waist.

He moved both of you expertly, guiding your hips; eventually, your hands found solace around his neck, feeling the heat radiating from his body. But then he makes a move that spins you around, then pulls you back to him so that you bump into his chest, his skin on yours, and you feel afire. His eyes are locked on your face, and when they finally meet with yours, it’s electric. Goosebumps erect all over your skin, and you swear you didn’t feel this way when you were dancing with Dean. For fuck’s sake, you considered going home with Dean. You felt attracted to Dean, he was so handsome and funny and sweet—

But somehow, this moment right here feels more intimate and forbidden than anything else, and it’s evident in the way your breaths come out—ragged, almost as sweaty as you. You swallowed hard at the sensation of being so close to Javier, this mystery man with a troubled past that was the star of your illicit fantasies.

At first you thought it was the drinks that made you see things, but once, twice, thrice you’ve seen his eyes roam all over your body, every once in a while pausing to admire a certain part of you that wasn’t stereotypical to the male gaze: your collarbones, shoulders, the way your waist fit in his hands—

“Penny for your thoughts?”

His voice is like honey dripping straight on your skin when he asks that next to your earlobe.

“You really do know how to dance,” you observe.

“It’s a curse.”

“Cause the ladies can’t stop jumping on you?”

“You one of them?”

In spite of his smirk, you chuckle mockingly, as loud as you can go. “Don’t flatter yourself, Texas.”

“How did things go with the Dean guy?”

You frown at him. “Do you really want to know?”

“Just making conversation.”

“Ask me something else then.”

“Okay. What’s new at the library?”

“Literally nothing. All of our stock is fairly old. Except the two librarians working there. They’re fine.”

I know for a fact one of them is, Javier thinks fleetingly.

“Why the sudden interest in how am I doing?” you can’t help but inquire.

Javier shrugs, spinning you around once more. “You said we’re friends.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Sometimes I feel like I barely know you. Just trying to get some intel.”

“Old habits die hard, huh?”

Javier makes a funny face, and you hold back laughter. It’s the first time you see this side of him, loose and almost worry-free, and there’s something inherently captivating about it. When he spins you again, he doesn’t let you face him—instead, your back is against him, and you feel every ridge and bump possible.

Including, but not limited to, the outline of a growing erection.

You try your hardest not go gasp, though the heat that shoots through you is nothing if not making your mouth dry. You want to get lost in this moment more than you’ve wanted anything in a long time, but the rational side of your brain reminds you that your brother and sister-in-law are probably watching the spectacle, and you’re not fond of that audience one bit.

Otherwise…

“So you want intel?” you tease him once you can look at his disheveled yet impossibly handsome face again. “Okay Texas. Let’s see. I’m almost finished writing a book, actually. A real book, my own story.”

Javier’s eyes widen in the slightest. “Really? That’s incredible.”

“Thanks. You’re the first person I told this to.”

“Me? You didn’t tell Steve or Connie about it?”

You shake your head. “Connie, I might. Sylvie, I might. But Steve… you heard what he thinks about fanfiction. Why should he get to see my actual book?”

“He can be very supportive, you know.”

“I know. But I don’t feel like sharing this with him, not right now at least.”

“Did he ever read anything else of yours?”

“No. After his comments, I didn’t want to share my craft with someone who mocked where most writers begin. Especially since that someone happens to be my flesh and blood.”

“I understand. It’s a shame though. I bet you’re really good.”

“Still talking about writing?”

Javier cocks an eyebrow, the faint outline of a smirk gracing his lips. “Are you?”

“Touché.”

“If I didn’t know any better, Peña, I’d say you’re trying to butter me up to get into my pants.”

He scoffs. “Not a chance.”

“Good. We wouldn’t want chaos in our lives, now would we?”

“No, we definitely wouldn’t want anything so… troublesome.”

Back at the bar, Connie’s fed up with Steve’s relentless questions about you and Javier. She doesn’t have any answers, but she sure plans on getting some; that’s the mission in her mind as she strolls through the crowd of sweaty, grinding bodies to get to the two of you.

“What on earth is going on with you guys?” she shouts at the two of you.

To which you and Javier exchange a confused glare. “What do you mean?” you ask.

Ever so foolishly, might you add.

“It is very much obvious that you two like each other.”

“She’s not even my—“

“Oh, shut up, Javi.”

You make a shocked face. It’s not often you get to see someone as sweet and calm as Connie be so bold.

“Damn,” you mutter.

“You shut up too. You’re both adults! Grown ass adults acting like kids hiding from their parents. And for what, may I ask? I doubt either one of you is scared of Steve.”

“I just want to be respectful. I made a promise to him, and… we’re friends. That’s all.”

“Spare me. That is such bullshit. Friends don’t look at each other like that. They don’t dance with each other like that. How much longer are you gonna keep up this lame charade? All the lying…”

“We’re not lying to anyone, much less to Steve,” you remind her.

“To yourselves! Good God, you guys gotta figure this out before it’s too late.”

“But we’re not—“

“There is no ‘but’, Javi. Figure it out or cut it out before someone gets hurt.”

Whatever good mood you were in before, now it’s long gone. Guilt returns and simmers in the depths of your stomach, even as you do a twisted version of the walk of shame back to the bar. You refuse another drink, your head still buzzing from the three you’ve already had—and the moment you just shared with Javier. You can’t even bear to look at Steve brooding and judging you from afar. Not that you care; you really don’t give a shit what he has to say about your friendship with Javier, but Connie does have a point.

You have to figure out what this is between you and Javier.

Obviously you find him attractive. Very much obvious by now. But you meant what you told him: you do consider him a friend. Though you must admit, strictly to yourself, that you’ve never masturbated to the thought of a friend before, regardless of how attractive said friend was. Which mean that at least physically, you enjoy having Javier around you. Which also means… you’re physically attracted to him. Okay, that’s not bad. It happens. And based on what you’ve heard about him and women, he wouldn’t be opposed to getting this attraction out of the way so you can continue to be friends. Maybe under the right circumstances you can—

What the fuck are you doing? Thinking about propositioning Javier with a one night stand? Well that’s a new fucking low. You shake your head several times, prompting a few concerned glares from Javier in the backseat of the cab, and look straight ahead. Connie and Steve left separately on account of letting you two talk things through, but the silence residing in between is earsplitting. It’s like you’re both trying to figure out what to say to each other whilst also reminiscing of the evening you left behind.

Javier’s mind is racing as fast as his heart. He can’t get over how beautiful you look tonight, how he held you in his arms, barely touching you, and yet his body burned and ached all at once as if—

As if he belonged to you.

No. It’s just the booze and the hormones. He can’t do relationships, that much he knows with certainty, and he won’t ruin his friendship with you or with Steve by initiating something he will regret later. Eventually, something always goes wrong and somebody does get hurt. He doesn’t want that for you.

He takes a big, deep breath, a sudden scent invading his nostrils. It’s not bar-like, nothing pungent of the sort; no, this one’s pleasant and calming. He turns towards you, discreetly inhaling again, and then he holds his breath.

It’s you. Your smell. Something comforting and reassuring, yet all the while alluring, calling out to him.

When the cab driver announces your arrival, Javier practically sprints out of the car. Despite your protests, he still walks you to the door of your apartment. While you search for your keys in your purse, he lingers with his gaze one second longer than he would’ve personally liked, but he can’t fully help it. It must be around two in the morning now, and yet you still look so mesmerizing.

“That scent,” he almost groans.

You look up from your purse. “What scent?”

“It’s—you. Your scent, it’s—I swear to fucking God it’s everywhere.”

Taken aback, all you can do is stare at him and gulp. Your mouth still runs dry, as if no amount of water will ever feel the quench that resides deep in your bones.

“It’s lavender soap,” you clarify in an unusually small voice.

“Fuckin’—lavender.”

Before you can chime in with any other word or even think about what is happening, you find yourself closing your eyes and leaning dangerously closer to Javier’s face. He does the same, his heart thrumming at insane rates in his chest and in his ears by now. You exhale, and Javier abruptly pulls away, eyes wide open and his mind in control once again.

“Go inside,” he orders.

His voice is stern and yet caring, but it still surprises you. “If that’s code for something—“you try to joke, but your smile fades when you see Javier’s face.

“Don’t,” he warns. “Go inside, get some sleep.”

“Why are you so adamant about it?”

You do hear him groan this time, a sound to reenact some pain he’s in, and you shudder.

“Because if you don’t, I might just do something very regrettable within the next few seconds and I’ll break my promise to my best friend,” he nearly whispers, his warm breath tickling your face and your sense. “And just like that, I’ll be the Javier Peña everyone knew in Colombia. And I don’t want to be that Javier Peña anymore. So please, don’t—don’t do this to me. Not now, not ever.”

Stunned, you only stare at him for what feels like an eternity. You take that time to soak up every detail of his face, the way it’s scrunched in pain, the desperation in his eyes, the neediness and urgency in his voice—and it breaks you.

“What if I want to do something regrettable?” you ask instead.

“Just—just go… inside. Please. I’m askin’ as a friend.”

You don’t think you’ve heard Javier ask or beg anyone, not this way, so tenderly desperate, and it’s disarming you of any speck of self-control you thought you had left.

Mark my words, this Javier is gonna be on his knees before you, asking you to teach him how to be good.

“You can come inside too if you want,” you whisper.

You regret the words the second they leave your mouth, especially after seeing Javier’s nearly shocked expression. He cocks his head to the side, eager to dismiss your words and complain, but you’re one step ahead of him.

“We’re both a little buzzed and… a little tense too, so let’s have a cup of coffee and call it a night. We don’t even have to talk,” you tell him.

There’s no verbal confirmation; just Javier following you inside your apartment, hyper vigilant and aware of his surroundings. He’s afraid that any move he might make now or any word he might say will conspire against his sanity, and he’s already having trouble keeping focus. So he admires your book shelves while you make the coffee, slowly pacing around the living room. Something out of place catches his eyes, something that looks handmade and colored purple by hand. He takes it out, examining it.

“Believe it or not, that is my Star Wars story,” you smile fondly.

“This is it?”

Suddenly Javier feels like he’s holding a very important artifact in his hands, and he takes a mental note to treat it as carefully as possible. He flips through the pages with utmost interest, soaking up the words as the smell of coffee and lavender fill the tense air.

“Here we go,” you announce, handing him a cup. “Decaf. I thought you wouldn’t want to be up till six in the morning.”

“Thanks.”

Javier still reads through, as much as he can, picturing a younger you scribbling down this story so excitedly, coloring it to make it seem like it’s a book in and of itself, and the sight makes his heart grow even fonder.

So maybe he’s not just lonely and horny. Maybe he cares about you a little more than initially anticipated. But that’s not bad.

Is it?

“Thank you,” you say after a while. “For walking me home. I mean, you do live right above, but… still.”

“It’s what friends do, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

You can tell he’s avoiding looking at you, a sentiment you are certainly familiar with. After all, the very fingers that hold your improvised book between them were in your head less than a week ago as you pictured them buried knuckle deep in your most sensitive place.

“I really respect you a lot, Javier. You’re being very honorable towards my brother with this stupid request of his. And towards me too.”

Javier swallows hard, feeling anything but honorable.

“Yeah, well. He’s my best friend. And you’re—“

“Not your type. I know.”

Feeling less and less honorable at this very moment.

“You—you can’t be,” Javier seems to warn you. “I’m not someone to love. I’m someone who can offer some temporary pleasure and call it a day. And you deserve more than that.”

“I’m no stranger to temporary pleasure.”

So much for the right timing in terms of propositioning something so outrageous.

“You should get some sleep,” Javier coos, removing a lock of stranded hair from your face.

You shudder. You don’t have it in you to protest anymore, not after that dance you shared with him and the tense moment by your door. You just can’t. Maybe you do need some sleep, after all.

“See you Monday morning?” he asks.

That gives you hope. You smile and nod as Javier leaves the coffee mug on the table and promises you that he can let himself out. He’s thankful you didn’t see him sneak your story behind his back while he left, and he’s thankful you can’t read his mind to see the plan he hatched.

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tags: @pedrostories @psychedelic-ink @milkymoon2483 @ifall4dilfs @casa-boiardi @spidermanfrog

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ijuststareatstuffhereok89 · 1 month

Text

"Time & the Trickster" a Loki/Doctor Who crossover

Chapter 13: The Ones Left Behind

Sylvie chases you into the bowels of the TARDIS, leaving Loki at her mercy on one side, while you and The Doctor are stranded on the far end. It's a race back to the time vortex to determine who gets control of the TARDIS in the final hours of reality!

CHAPTER WARNING (18+): none

Previous Chapter · Next Chapter MASTERLIST

“How does she know where to go?” you asked as you followed The Doctor further into the depths of the time machine. The lights flickered as the TARDIS itself continued to react to Sylvie’s defiance, as well as the time stones’ interference. Because of this, you and The Doctor weren’t running as you continued your descent.

“She’s been here with me for a few days, she’s had time to explore,” he replied.

“Ah,” you nodded. “Yet you said you never fully warmed up to her. Why?”

“Oh, well when you’re as old as I am, you learn to pick up on things. Holes in stories, feelings that don't line up with actions and the like, y’know?”

“I guess so.”

The time lord went on. “If someone like Sylvie thinks it’s Loki’s ultimate destiny to make a sacrificial move, then why did she storm in here like a Judoon looking for a fugitive? There’s too much brute urgency in the way she acted. You’d think someone’s literal other half sent to retrieve them for imminent imprisonment would be a bit more reluctant and solemn at the task.”

“She is NOT his other half,” you insisted with a brief sigh.

The Doctor stopped in his gtracks, giving you the first serious once-over he’d lent you since arriving. “Oh, I see,” he said with quiet sympathy. “How long did it take you?”

“Take me? To what?” you asked defiantly.

“To fall in love with Loki, of course!” he said casually. “It’s plain as the eyestalk on a Dalek’s face.”

You shrugged. “Not long at all.”

The Doctor thought back for a moment. “It’s the worst thing a traveler can do, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“Fall for someone. Anyone.”

The two of you went onward toward the vortex chamber.

“You’re talking about Rose,” you decided.

The Doctor wilted. “Yeah.”

He was suddenly way too quiet. “She chose to go to the throne--err, I mean--risk falling into the Void. She only got lucky at the last moment, which is why she’s still alive.”

“Loki won’t be so lucky unless we get Sylvie to go to his place.”

The Doctor asked if you’d planned for any way of doing that. You brought up your plan to fake her out with Loki’s dramatized death. “It’s a bit Disney, but it’s frankly better than anything I got,” he mused. “But, are you ready to let go of him if it fails?”

You nodded without words.

“It’s a burden that all travelers endure,” The Doctor went on. “Sometimes it feels like a pair of binary stars circling, basking in the glow of one another but never fully combining, because there’s always some force of nature keeping you from fully coming together.”

“I was a fan of his character,” you explained. “I’d dreamed of him for ten years. When he literally came to life before me, I didn’t know what to think. But…he’s even better than the character. I didn’t want to know that. It would’ve made things so much easier if I hadn’t--”

“--now, now,” The Doctor pouted his lips, “regret doesn’t solve anything.”

“Regardless,” you sniffed back, trying to stifle any crying before it started. Getting emotional was the LAST thing you needed in the moment. “I know I have to give him back. There are others who need him. I’m just afraid of the heartbreak, and how lonely it’s going to make me.”

“Are you alone in the world? Aside from Loki,” he asked.

“No,” you said quickly. “My brother…who seems to be having trouble finding a parking space,” you added, “we live together. Our parents died a while back. Neither of us socialize much out of work…aside from with the beat cops at the precinct, I suppose.”

“I see,” he replied. “Family’s good.”

“He’s younger, and sometimes he’s difficult to pin down, but sometimes I think I’m the dependent one,” you moped. “He’s the only one who knows how to quell my panic attacks, and if it weren’t for him, I’d absolutely be alone in the world.”

“How often do you have them? The anxiety attacks?”

You rolled your eyes. “More than my share as of late.”

“Of course! Though after the way you tried to take Sylvie all on your own, I was already under the impression that you could take of yourself.”

You smirked. “That wasn’t strength, it was anger.”

“Oh no, you were brilliant back there, truly!” The Doctor insisted. “Have you forgotten she’s Asgardian like Loki? You don’t seem to fully understand that you challenged a god face-to-face just now.”

That perspective hadn’t occurred to you. Your chin went up in pride. “I guess I did, huh?”

The TARDIS shook, but you were able to grab on to your escort’s shoulder to steady yourself. “Sounds like we should move faster,” he mumbled. “Blimey, I thought Loki was going to be the difficult one.”

“Well, in a way--”

“--yeah, don’t try explaining that Variant stuff to me. I regenerate my face and body, and even I think that version of the universe has too many rules and holes.”

You nearly snorted in laughter. “One of you is more than enough, is it?”

He laughed in turn. “Oh absolutely! Just ask every foe from here to Raxacoricofallapatorius.”

“I’d rather not.”

The Doctor led you down a flight of metal stairs and through an archway to the next level of the time machine. “You know, if we didn’t come from separate realities, I’d invite you to go see some places with me.”

“Really?” you asked airly. “I’d love that. It’s such a shame I’m trapped on the most worthless branch of the least interesting, magic-free cardboard box of a timeline there is.”

The Doctor clicked his tongue. “I suppose I pity you a little there.”

Gee thanks, Doctor, you thought. That sure helps.

“Loki has shown me so much since being in my life. Now that he has to leave it one way or the other...I don’t know where to begin processing a life after seeing magic, seeing that he exists beyond a film screen, and hereafter never seeing it or him again. It’s like he’s about to climb back into the TV and turn it off.”

“Echos fade,” The Doctor promised. “Healing will come. You just have to be willing to give it a try once it’s time.”

You sensed the sorry in his words. You knew he’d managed to move on from his Rose. “What’s it like? Losing the one you love like that?” you dared to ask, regretting it as soon as the words left your lips.

The Doctor put his hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoes for a moment in thoughtful silence. He looked sullen, quietly sad, his face forlorn. “Would you like the kind answer or the real one?”

“You know what I want to hear.”

He sighed. “You’ll blame yourself for a long time. You bargain with every invisible force to take their place. Even if you know they are alive and thriving, wherever they are, the room always feels a little larger to you after they go.”

“I wish I couldn’t feel at all,” you said woefully. “Feelings suck.”

“Well, don’t talk like that, you’ll start to sound like a Cyberman,” The Doctor joked lightly, breaking a bit of the drama in the corridor.

You giggled until he interrupted you with, “But…the night sky will suddenly hold a lot more meaning for you. You’ll begin to appreciate the smallest things that remind you of them, and smile when their face enters your thoughts. The smells that bring you back to the times you shared will become addicting and delicious.”

You took one more turn around a sharp-angled corner, and were met with a pair of large, heavy double doors. You heard voices speaking in muffles within.

“But the one thing that tops them all, Y/N, the one thing you need to remember if things come to the worst possible scenario: what they did is not your fault. They made their choices because of their love for us. It wouldn’t do to cry in their wake for long. It’s our duty, as the ones they leave behind, to live.”

It made you think, and the sigh you let out felt as if it weighed fifteen pounds. What more could you and Loki ask for? The possibility that you could run off together that was infinitesimal at best? Perhaps it was asking for too much. Ultimately, no matter what came of the grand finale of this adventure, you would carry the love he’d given you and the lessons he’d taught you for as long as you went on.

“Well, no time like the present,” The Doctor said, indicating that this was your destination. “We’ll need to act quickly. Get the stone into her hand and by whatever means necessary, get her to drop it over the time vortex without anyone falling in.”

“How will I know what that is?”

He gave you a look as if to say you’ve got to be kidding me.

“Oh right,” you mumbled awkwardly. “Wibbly wobbly.”

He nodded with an encouraging smile. “Wibbly wobbly. But I must warn you not to look directly into it. Looking into the time vortex can do unspeakable things to you.”

You and The Doctor each laid a palm on a door, ready to fight the moment you got inside if needed. “Just remember, Y/N, if you want even a slight chance for Loki to escape his sacrifice, Sylvie needs to stay alive.”

“Right,” you said quickly, even as you longed to curl your fingers around her skinny throat. “For him. For all of us.”

Sylvie may have been quicker, but Loki’s legs were longer. Thus, keeping up with her was a simple task, even if she was weaving methodically through tiny passageways, leaping down entire stairwells, and cutting through the oddest array of rooms, some of which seemed wholly unnecessary for a time machine (why was there a swimming pool and art gallery down here?).

She knew where to go to head you off, to guard the time vortex from any stones getting within and shipping her off to a place that would only welcome her with an escort to an eternity of existing for others. All her hard work and suffering would be for naught!

Loki wasn’t speaking to her, even as she found the time vortex chamber in minutes. The TARDIS was still shaking intermittently, each time a bit more violent. She was breaking, and soon she would probably fall apart entirely. That would doom everyone to the collapse of reality, and it could not happen.

Sylvie opened the double doors, stepping cautiously inside. Loki slipped through before she slammed them shut.

“If you move more than one step toward that…” she pointed to the center of the room, where a large, closed basin stood, bright white light leaking out from under the stone lid. “…or if I see you take that stone out…” She held her dagger to Loki’s throat, causing him to still his breath as much as possible.

Loki gritted his teeth against the burning sensation against his thigh where he’d quickly stashed the stone before giving chase. He put up his arms and shook his head quietly. “You’ll run me through, I imagine.”

Her eyes never left his face. She wasn’t sure whether to relish his hesitation, or to be on higher guard. Meanwhile, Loki was beginning to observe the room for himself from his position against the doors.

In addition to the large basin, the room held a cool, dark blue hue, nearly completely made of stone and entirely too ostentatious for its singular purpose, it seemed.

“Don’t let anyone in here,” she commanded.

“You expect me to listen now?” asked Loki.

“You expect me not to use this?” Sylvie replied, the very tip of the blade cutting the skin of Loki’s neck.

Loki swallowed. “If you kill me, what then? Who becomes the one to heal time in my place but you?” He stood up a little straighter as the realization hit her. She took two steps back and brought the blade down to her side without putting it away.

“So…now what?” she asked.

Loki brushed some hair away from his face, coated in sweat. “We go back to the TVA.”

“I said NO!” Sylvie shouted, stomping her foot and turning her back on him. The floor shook with such force that Loki nearly tumbled to the ground.

“Well, then neither of us do it, and everyone and everything dies.” He shrugged once the room was still underfoot. “Including us.”

“Is that worse than sitting at the edge of time being a slave?” she scoffed, beginning to walk a slow lap around the vortex basin. “After all I’ve been through!”

There it was. The words Loki needed to hear to finally put everything about Sylvie together in his mind. After all I’ve been through. No matter what he said, she was lost. It would never be about anyone else no matter what he said.

Still, he had to try. “You’d consider it slavery?”

“What else is it, eternally serving others?”

“I have spent weeks traveling as mortals do across land and sea,” he said. “The first hour after my arrival I was knocked out cold by a drunkard. I have been in TWO prison cells AND a shipwreck, and I paid an inordinately large sum for a tower of fish food. I may not have spent my life running and hiding in apocalypses, but I did spend it among lying fathers, purple conquerors, and with so little to hold on to that for so long I didn’t see a reason to do so.”

He slowly walked deeper into the room, taking in the vastness of it. “Then she happened.”

“That hot-headed human?” Sylvie mocked. “First Mobius, now her?”

Loki smirked in a way that would make Tony Stark proud. “I’m starting to think Midgardians just make better lovers.”

Sylvie rolled her eyes in her trademark scowl. “In the end, they don’t matter. The only one in our lives who never betrays us is ourselves!”

Loki shrugged. “I beg to differ. I happen to think I’ve been the biggest detriment to my own existence for eons. The only reason I’m not dead this minute is because of others.”

Something peculiar changed in Sylvie’s energy, almost like it had reached its zenith and was beginning to fall. “And I understand it’s awful when you feel there’s no one in the world to rely on but yourself, but no one is EVER alone unless they ask to be!”

She was quiet, refusing to look back at him. “I suppose…”

“…you surely must trust me a little.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You have your back to me right now.”

She shot around to find Loki only about five feet away, holding a handkerchief by the gathered corners, a smoking green morsel inside. She widened her stance and brandished her dagger again.

“You can do this, Sylvie. Maybe this is your purpose,” he suggested softly. “It’s how you can prove to the TVA and every one of your transgressors that you—”

“—how simple do you think I am? We’ve spent so much time together! No, it’s not my place. They don’t deserve my protection!”

Loki felt his eyes go hot as he held back a tear for her. Sylvie, you fear the cosmos too much, as I once did.

Perhaps if she had a Thor (Thora?) to play with as a child, or was allowed to live on her version of Asgard without the TVA’s interventions, she would’ve learned how to open the gates to her heart. She wouldn’t be such a hardened warrior with no faith in the world.

I need to get this to the basin over there, he thought, when he senses a presence from behind the double doors. He knew you and The Doctor had arrived.

Sylvie jumped when you and The Doctor bursted in, Sylvie’s cracked stone in your hand.

“It’s time, Sylvie,” you said, standing up straight and brandishing the rock between your fingers. “This is all down to you. We can do this without anyone getting hurt, or I can drag you to the TVA by your ankles. Now, what’s it going to be?”

Life Update: I got some life-altering news this weekend. My dad is dying of a fast-acting gastrointestinal cancer, and I'm quite close with him. I have yet to see how this is going to affect my presence here for the next few months, but rest assured whether or not I go away or annoy everyone here to death with my need to distract myself, this fic is finished and the remaining chapters are queued.

@crashingwavesofeuphoria @kkdvkyya @red-shirt-mania @misschris1412 @salvinaa @marygoddessofmischief @spiderstyles04 @fireflymoonwitch @mochie85 @loz-3 @lcolumbia1988 @lokilurker @eleniblue @gruftiela @starkzdaughter @mrsbarnes-avenger @thedistractedagglomeration @km-ffluv @lokisgoodgirl @holdmytesseract @itsthattimedarling @wolfsmom1 @scully2u @shinisenko @mischief2sarawr @ririsutty73 @lulubelle814 @meg81589 @gloriuspurposeposts @theonetruepotato87 @linllewellyn @wistfulclueless @etherealkistar @tinydancer40 @hardtravelerwizard-blog @fangirlofmanysstuff @krabog @soulpiercing @archivelaurarps @banjo-bastard

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brnesblogposts · 2 months

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love lost.

pairing: loki x gn reader

warnings: angst

(repost from my old blog because i’m moving to this account !!)

reposts appreciated :)

—————————————-

Loki watched as his friends turned into nothing before his eyes, the fear behind theirs would stay with him forever. Mobius, OB, B-15, Sylvie, Casey.. all turned into what can only be described as spaghetti. Then just as he thought it couldn’t get any worse. You. He turned around to see you were still standing there, eyes wide with fear at what you’d just witnessed, Loki rushed to your side tears in his eyes and hands cupping your face as if to check you were really still with them.

“Loki..” the words got stuck in your throat as shock overtook your body and Loki pulled you into a hug, rocking you back and forth in a soothing manner.

“How are you still here?” Loki was confused as she had just seen all of her friends vanish but you remained. The last two people in the universe it would seem. “I’m so glad you’re still here” Loki shakily said while kissing the top of your head.

“What do we do??” You were panicked “Are you gonna leave me too? I don’t wanna be alone Loki” crying again you clutched onto him as if that would stop him from disappearing. Losing Loki would be like your heart stopping, there is nothing worse you could think of than losing him.

“I’ll never leave you, my darling. As long as you don’t leave me either” He’s stroking the back of your head now “We will figure this out, together.” Loki stands back and puts his hands on your shoulders to look at your face as if he wanted to remember every last detail, just in case.

You did the same, neither of you looking away from each other for a few minutes.

You felt funny all of a sudden.

“Darling?” Loki’s voice was distant yet you could see him right in front of you.

You felt your body disappearing from beneath you, looking down your legs were the spaghetti you had just seen your friends turn into, oh no. Your eyes looked back up right into Loki’s he was still clutching your shoulders as if doing so would keep you with him, as if him not letting go would keep you from being taken from him.

“No, no.” He whispered under their breath as you started to disappear. They didn’t want to be alone again, they didn’t know how to live without you. You were Loki’s lifeline you were their heart and soul and the core of their very being.

“Loki..” Your soul staring into the gods eyes until you were no more, Loki’s hands simply clutching the air where your shoulders had been.

She fell to her knees. Head down in defeat, sobs racking out of their body.

“No” He cried.

He looked around him, nothing, nobody. He was the only one who remained and he didn’t know how to live or breathe without you.

— time skip—

Loki would spend years and years trying to find a way to get them all back, to get you back. He would eventually drive himself to insanity and hallucinate your presence often finding himself talking to you only to realise you weren’t there, nobody was. He was all alone in the universe as if he was being punished for all that he did when he was on Earth and Asgard, for the tormenting of his brother, the death of his mother, the battle of 2012 and everything else. Maybe he deserved to be alone, maybe the universe was punishing him indefinitely.

Loki hadn’t moved, hadn’t been taken anywhere. He remained where he’d last seen his friends, some part of him hoping they’d come back, that some day he’d wake up and find you next to him. They talk about hell being a firey place if torture but Loki was in hell already, hell was life without you, hell was knowing there was probably something he could do to get his family back but not having the ability to, without OB’s brains and everyone else’s assets.

Destined to a life of loneliness. The only company being a small photo of you that had faded over the millennia, your smile barely visible but Loki found himself looking at it constantly and smiling and crying, begging whatever did this to him that he was sorry and that he just wanted you back.

He’d lost everything when he lost you.

_______________________________

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki series #loki x reader #loki angst #writerblr #mcu loki #loki odinson #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki x original female character #loki fic #avengers #marvel fic

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mythical-magik · 7 months

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Just my 3am thoughts on loki

(Season 2 Episode 4)

I think Loki will end up back at the beginning of the tva when he was first taken in - I don’t know how else to explain the shot with him in the TVA jumpsuit and collar

I can’t see how the shot of him walking down towards the loom can fit in after that ending we’ve just had since it was left on a cliffhanger as if everything was destroyed.

I always thought he’d get caught by past mobius and that’s how he ended back up in that position again

However by the cuts and scars on his face - makes more sense for him to have just come from Avengers 2012

I don’t even know what to think. Episode 4 didn’t go how I thought it would go at all. It was a good episode but the cliff hanger

I thought it was genuinely going to be Loki to play the hero and sacrifice himself this episode - I may have been getting ready to say goodbye to him

The Lokius moments … my heart.

Miss minutes is still scary and creep af - that’s not changed.

Sad about timely. I laughed out loud not believing what I saw but he didn’t deserve that to happen to him. I was hoping it was going to be loki but there’s always a next time.

Magic back at the TVA … the possibilities.

Protect OB and Casey PLEASE!

‘We are gods’ I think that might foreshadow Sylvie and Loki taking over in the future.

So where’s the jet ski scene? I need cheering up after that episode.

Loki got a round 2 with X-5

Did I mention they got to use their magic in the tva - that was very satisfying.

Someone give b-15 a hug.

Felt like after Sylvie made the comment about mobius not having taken a look at his previous life, he became distance and standoffish towards Loki which I don’t think was fair - Loki was caught in the middle.

I don’t know where to go from the end of that episode.

Loki and Sylvie shouting down the phone.

It was OB on the phone!? Didn’t see that coming

Turns out it was Loki who pruned himself… like how that wrapped around, and Sylvie being VERY confused.

Perhaps that’s where the previous lives come into it. Mobius (or whatever his original name is) goes back to his life, but Loki end up stuck in the tva because someone wants him there?

I’m rambling. It’s 3am. I need sleep.

Im down to have a full blown convo and bounce theories back and forth about what we think is to come since there are only 2, I repeat, 2 episodes left.

#loki spoilers #loki #loki series #lokius #loki season 2 #mobius #sylki #loki laufeyson #sylvie #tom hiddleston #miss minutes #loki x sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir #mobius x loki #agent mobius #loki season 2 spoilers

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smolvenger · 1 year

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I Say Nothing That Frightens Me, Loki x fem! Reader Series, Part Two

Series Summary: As a young Asgardian, you have grown to be friends and secretly pine for the younger Prince Loki. After his fury has sent him off, his mother sends you on a quest to find him and bring him home. Your quest makes you cross paths with a mysterious group that calls themselves the TVA. There, Loki can be found...but he loves someone named Sylvie, not you.

Part One

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST CENTRAL. Some violence. The "healing your beloved's wounds" trope. Some fluffy moments. Dealing with the canon events of Loki. Unrequited love. An eventual happy ending.

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Chapter Word Count: 3K

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @lovelysizzlingbluebird

What in the actual hell were you going to do now? Your brain was racing but your body felt still. You wanted to curl up into a ball. But instead, you stood up. And to top it off, worst of all…

“That can’t be…it’s…it’s only been a few short days. You can’t fall in love in a few days!” you retorted after Mobius explained it.

“I saw it in his face. Insisted I called him by her name…Forget him. Leave them. He found someone he’s crazy about. And they’re going to do some crucial, multiverse saving business. Why should it matter…. sit back and relax!” Mobius suggested.

He was right. You should leave him. He earned it. Bastard. And if you did find him, you’d drag him by the ear back home. Then kill him. You wished you could throw him off the remains of the Rainbow Bridge all over again and have him fall to the oblivion of space.

But he…he could still get hurt. Or killed. Yes, he was a god- but even gods had weaknesses.

You began to pace around. Walking through the halls. Things seemed empty- wouldn’t someone note your odd clothes and say something? Whatever. Less trouble for you.

You came across some desks with paper. You grabbed a pencil. Writing out your options.

Leave Loki and Sylvie to make out and then rot.

Find Loki and throw him off a cliff in Midgard.

Find Loki and try to bring him back.

The first option would be satisfying. Just run from it all. Start a life on Midgaurd, even. You wouldn’t have to face home. And the constant reminders of him in the palace.

The second option only hurt a little. You would no doubt see him with her. That would hurt. How could you face him? You wanted his happiness. He more than deserved it. But he’d smile and be happy with someone who wasn’t you. And you’d see it. Though would make the latter part better. Even if he was tall, seeing his lean frame billowing over and trying to magick out of it. You could then stab him with your blade.

But…what did he owe you? Love? He was your friend all your life. He owed you nothing. He wasn’t your lover. Only in your dreams. But…that was being possessive. That wasn’t good. It wasn’t like Loki owed you anything. He didn’t. He wasn’t your lover. He never even suggested the idea once. What if, for example, Thor himself ran to you and demanded you love him? Would it be fair if you refused, and he forced you into his arms, a marriage altar, and bed?

No, it wasn’t okay when the roles were reversed. Loki owed you nothing.

If you brought him back, he’d reunite with her eventually. Or she would go with him. Who could resist Loki’s intelligence, beauty, and charms? Then Sylvie would stay in Asgaurd! Norns, how could you stand even being in the same room with them, much less living with them? And you didn’t even know what she looked like?

The third option stared at you. You wanted to tear it up. Ignore it for the above choices.

But you owed Frigga her son.

You made a promise to Frigga. You could imagine the look on her face when you returned. When you had to announce that you failed her son. That you failed her.

But wait…you didn’t fail her. You hadn’t failed her…at least not yet! You could still do it. All you had to do was find Loki and return him home. That was it. Then you could quit your station and find some other place to live. Some place away from the castle. Away from him. And try to make yourself glad he was at least happy.

And then, you’d forget that charming, mischievous prince.

You ran back to Mobius.

“Take me there! Take me to the end of the world! I’m continuing my quest and bringing him back…Because I care about him…” you declared.

He nodded. A kind hand of his patted your shoulder. His smile was sad.

“I…I do too.”

“So point me where he is…”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

You reached the End of the World. After an hours walk, you finally found the place Mobius described without a scuffle. The palace hall was easy to get into, much to your surprise. There were no guards. A purple light drenched you as you walked down that long hall. White walls loomed over your head like they would swallow you.

“Ah! Y/N! knew you would be here!” announced a theatrical voice from above.

You jumped and got out a dagger.

“Who are you?” you asked.

Looking around, you saw and sensed no one.

“The One at the end of all time. Friends call me Kang,” he replied (the voice sounded masculine).

“Kang…are you trying to kill me?” you asked, gripping the hilt.

“Oh- nononononno! I have a guess what you’re here for! I do love a guest! So tell me-what brings you here to my house?” he asked.

“No, I’m looking for Loki,” you explained.

Holding the dagger up, you walked forward.

“Which one?”

“What do you mean?” you asked incredulously.

“There’s quite a lot of Loki’s out there-haven’t you heard? Be specific- which. One. What does he look like?” he interviewed.

“The one with long dark hair!”

You glanced backwards and searched the walls. There was no one.

“Good looking?” the voice asked.

“I won’t answer that?”

“Is. He. Good. Looking?” the voice insisted.

You felt your stomach turn to butterflies as you admitted “Uh- yes!”

“Oh, so the president!” he figured from above. He echoed down the hall.

“President?! What do you mean?? No! The prince! Golden helmet with giant horns! The one who likes green!” you specified.

You wouldn’t think of the green covered editions of books you’d give him on his birthday. And You wouldn’t think of the birthday gifts he gave to you either of little rings and necklaces. Things that made you feel pretty at banquets. Or the time he got your flowers that brightened your room. Or shoes when your old ones wore out from training…no, you couldn’t.

“Oh, that one…look at you squirm. And just listen to your voice! Loki might not know. But I do!”

“Know what?” you asked in fake innocence.

“Awww, poor little Y/N! Just can’t compete next to Sylvie, can you? Nothing like a broken heart!”

“Shut up!” you yelled back.

You waved around the dagger.

“Take me to him right now or I’ll find you and stab you!” you threatened.

“They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned-that’s why you’re going to find it? Cut him into ribbons? Scoop out her stomach?

‘I don’t want to harm him. I don’t want to harm either of them! I just want to bring him back home! His mother’s orders!” you explained.

You picked up to reach the end further. There must be a door somewhere. Even a hidden one.

“He IS here, Y/N…He’s here with me right now!”

“Can he hear you? US?” you cried in a panic.

“No- would you like me to tell him about our little conversation?”

“NO!”

Your steps faltered. You paused to catch your breath. Kang began to laugh.

“Please! Take me to him, Kang! Queen’s insistence!” you ordered.

“Why don’t you waltz over forward! Would love to meet you! I’m sure he’s too moony-eyed over Sylvie to remember you. And here- have the most PERFECT song to go along! It’s from Carmen. It’s a story about a little girl. She falls in love with a childhood friend. But alas! The friend falls in love with another woman- that Carmen who’s too much to resist! She runs home crying with a broken heart. Then his mother sends her off to find him and bring him home. Sound familiar, Y/N? How I do love all those little human operas!”

Your own system picked it up. You heard it as you kept running. Each step closer to him. As the song rumbled around you, it’s translation to your tongue entered your brain. Languages fascinated you, particularly the French language from Midgard. You bit back your tongue and tears form how it spoke to you.

“I will soon come close to that woman,

Whose accursed means

Have ended up by inflaming

The man I once loved.

She is dangerous, she is beautiful,

But I do not want to be afraid,

No, no, I don't want to have fear,

I will speak loudly in front of her!”

You walked down the hall. Your heart hammering in your chest.

Finally, there was a door. You thought you heard voices.

And his voice. Loki’s.

That one voice. The voice you heard for years. The voice who would ask careful questions next to Thor’s bravado bragging. The voice who confided in you of his jealousy for his brother, of his fear of being unable to live up. The voice who you told of your fear of failing as an Asgardian warrior. Who you traded books and looked up at the stars with and…

Was there…there arguing? And then shuffles-blades hitting blades- the sounds of a fight.

No, no more hesitation. You were not trained to sit and let others go about. To indulge in passivity. You were trained to take action, rather than have your thoughts consume you. Or your heart. You would power through and move on.

You opened the door. It was quite a cozy room. How you would have loved to drink wine and relax with a book from its high shelves. There was a fireplace and bookshelves high up to the ceiling. But it was dark. The mahogany furniture needed dusting.

But a sudden grunt and the sound of a blade on blade brought your eyes up. Your voice cried out.

“Loki- I-"

He was kissing a woman.

The world froze. You couldn’t look and yet you had to look. They were kissing. No, she was kissing him. But what did it matter- they were kissing. You felt your stomach drop. A dread chill ran through you. He was stiff, but not rejecting it.

You could not endure it. No no no no no no.

You swallowed hard. Your eyes looked on as if seeing a person’s execution in front of you. It was so awful and yet you could not retract your eyes from the sight.

You wanted to kill him. You wanted to kill her. You wanted them both stabbed with your daggers.

He turned. He stared at you in…in surprise. His jaw dropping and his eyes wide, then squinting. His face was paler than normal.

“Y/N…is…is that really you?” you said.

The woman- no, Sylvie- turned to you. How she would have reacted to you, you didn’t know. But to your surprise, it was not one of smugness, of pride, of triumph. Her face was neutral. Her eyes steeled to a desk before them.

But a gentleman at the desk stood up from a chair.

“Why-isn’t this PERFECT! This is a movie writing itself! I should get the popcorn!” he announced.

You turned and saw it was the same voice as before. A gentleman with a wicked smile and long, grandiose purple robes like a king. You took a step forward, your voice urging you to speak “Prince Loki, I have been ordered by Queen Frigga to return you to Asgard.”

You never got the chance to say that.

It then all happened so fast you hardly knew what. Maybe the kiss made you numb to react or fight.

But the woman ran up to the man, stabbed him. He yelped. You gasped. Your own- no, he was never yours. Loki ran forward.

Then she pulled the blade out. His corpse fell over.

Loki ran to her. She smiled, then with a flick of her wrist magicked a portal. She pushed the prince of Asgard through.

“NO!” you screamed.

Making a sprint, you jumped forward, grabbed him, arms around, and both of you fell through. Lights flashed by you- more colors- like the rainbow bridge of home but swallowing you. But you held onto him. No matter what. You would not let go.

Both of you landed with a thud. You panted hard. And then let him go. He then looked up. His hair wild and his face dirtied over his ivory face. He blinked as you let him go.

“Y/N! What…what in…” he wondered.

Giving a handsome grin, he then greeted you with a tight hug.

“I…I thought I’d never see you again! Ever! Oh, gods above. I’m so relieved…relieved you’re alive!” he said.

“Relieved I’m alive?” you repeated.

Alarms went off in the office.

“Loki-who was that man? What were you doing here?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I might ask the same. What are you doing here?”

You felt yourself frown. Your fists curled up by your sides.

“You…you vanished! You giant dumbass-Then you attempted an entire invasion of Midgaurd! Frigga and Thor and I got worried sick!!!I didn’t even know if you would live or what would happen!” you ranted.

He put his head down, hands on his hips. He muttered as he raised his eyes to you.

“Listen, I-“

You wished you could have slapped him, but instead you grabbed his arms. You looked into those blue eyes as clear and bright as a fresh spring. Your lips were close. But instead, you yelled at his face.

“No, YOU listen! Frigga sent me to find you! I had to look everywhere! Traveled all over the world and this one too!”

He blinked and his jaw clenched.

“I tore through space and time, searched everywhere, and I was told…I was told that…”

No, you wouldn’t bring her up. Not her. Not now. But you let him go. You wiped off a tear on your sleeve. Alarms began to go off. Both of you jumped and looked above.

“She did it-Sylvie did it…”

“Killing Kang?” you asked.

Other than make out with you, was the bitter reply on your tongue.

“She...she opened all the multiverse.”

“The What?”

“Multiple universes. Alternative timelines, sacred timelines. It’s a long story. My dear Y/N, I’ll have to explain it to you later…”

Fighting the urge to smile at “my dear”, you let him go. Alarms then pierced the air, shrieking. His curls whipped around him as he looked about. TVA members were running.

“Anything need our immediate attention, Loki? You need to go back!” you said.

“I’m…I’m not sure…they might need me…” he reasoned.

You placed your hands on your hips.

“Could you at least make a trip back home to your mother first? I’ve been on this stupid quest to bring you back for ages!” you scolded.

He sighed.

“Fine then, I will…only…Y/N, let me ask you something….”

He crossed his arms.

“How are we going to get back to Midgaurd? If the Bifrost was back as normal- we’d ask Heimdall and we’d be back for Father to scold at me in no time…but now…”

As if on cue like an actor, Mobius ran right around.

“Oh my god- the TVA is on fire! Where-“

He paused, his feet skidding as he halted. Then looked between you two.

“Oh- hello there! Welcome!”

“Mobius-Mobius, please-she did it. She killed Kang. The sacred timeline is open-everything is haywire!”

He blinked but then nodded. You turned to him.

“Is it crucial? Do you need him?” you asked.

Mobius tilted his head.

“Who are you?”

Loki’s jaw dropped. You turned to your companion.

“They must have…must have rearranged his memory.”

“They can do that?” you asked.

His eyes looked around. Then he smiled. He grabbed your arms and held your wrists from behind you.

“Yes…but maybe that’s to our advantage, Y/N,” he confided into your ear.

You heard his breath. You felt his body from behind you. Beneath your armor and clothes, you sweated.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“Follow my lead…” he instructed.

He put his chin forward. He grabbed your shoulder.

“See sir- I am an agent. Taking this variant away! We must return her to her proper timeline right away…it’s urgent!” he ordered.

Mobius smiled, nodding his head.

“Oh! Very good! Well- where should she be?” Mobius asked.

Loki glanced at you. The word formed out of you in a faint whisper.

“Asg-“

“ASGAURD! Of course!” Loki interrupted.

“Well then- can’t take her there yet! A lot of our devices for Asgard broke!”

“Then…take us to…to…” he fumbled in his “official” voice.

“Midgaurd,” you whispered.

“MIDGAURD! Take us to Midgaurd to transport her there-there’s a connection, the thundering type.”

You bolted your head down and bit the inside of your cheek in fake guilt.

“Well then! To that Midgaurd place! We’ll be glad to take you both there!”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

In a flash of light, you were back there. A bridge and a bright light. Turning your head, you saw there it was- New York City in it’s beautiful, if not glorious, skyline. You managed to get a taxi and get to the Avengers headquarters in no time. Though, thank the norns, most strangers did not gape that you had their invader right at your heels.

You ran into the main parlor and kitchen of the Avengers tower.

“Thor? Thor-where are you?” you called out.

But there was no reply. You turned around.

“We can wait a while…he might be back…” Loki said.

This close. But it was almost done. Your quest was finally ending!

He stumbled over and then sat on a chair. He looked up at you.

“You know…I did miss you…and I have to tell you…tell you everything I learned. What happened…” he said.

You looked over and noticed his arm. How different he looked. His shirt though stained with his sweat, with two tears at the back was tantalizingly tight. And that wasn’t getting onto how well his pants fit him. The robes back home didn’t show what a nice shape he had. Not to mention how the sleeves were rolled up were making you think unprofessional, unfocused thoughts.

But your eye went up…to a cut on his arm.

“Loki- your arm. It’s bleeding…it’s still gushing out!”

He looked over and touched it with his long fingers.

“Oh! That!” he cried.

“Here…let me take care of it!” you insisted.

“No, it’s fine-“ he shrugged.

“You’re bleeding, Loki! Let me!”

Looking around, you found a first aid kit. You rolled up more of the sleeve.

Norns, his bicep was so strong, those could wrap around you at night as he kisses you and…no, Y/N! Focus! You ordered yourself.

You took out cotton swabs and applied alcohol to them. He winced at the pain.

“You always go on so much. Always focused on the goal…not even taking care of yourself. It’s a miracle you’re still alive, ” you tsked.

He tilted his head to the side again. His mouth scrunched to one side. Then he leaned closer to you.

“Well, you’re one to talk! If I recall correctly- I wasn’t the one lying on the bed with a broken leg for two weeks!” he replied.

You paused. Smiling, you looked up to meet him.

“No, but you did appear to read to me! See…you always took care of me…now let me take care of you…” you insisted.

Once he adjusted to the sting of the alcohol, he relaxed under your fingers. You took a fresh cotton swab to tap on the cut.

“How did you get this one?” you asked.

“That was from Sylvie’s dagger, Y/N.”

You felt your stomach sour at her name. You turned your eyes to the bandages. It made the sentence easier.

“Mobius told me You love her…” you said.

“Yes.”

You kept your head down. That way, he wouldn’t see how you were keeping your jaw tight. Pushing back tears. No longer looking at him as you heard his beautiful voice. Trying to look for a fresh bandage as a focus exercise. You found one and peeled off the adhesive.

“I fought with her. Fell for her…and then she left me.”

“She kissed you.”

“And then…then abandoned me…I did everything for her and …she left…”

You placed the bandage over his cut. Smoothing it out.

“There…much better…” you finished.

“Well, do you know a bandage for a broken heart?” he asked.

You think YOUR heart is broken? You wanted to yell at him. But the words, like bile, you kept inside. You folded your hands. Still looking down.

“No…I don’t…”

“Y/N…I need some time alone to process this…I’m sorry but she…I loved her and…and it wasn’t enough…” he said.

You nodded. He walked off, vanishing behind a door. Finally alone, you let a few tears begin to drip down your face.

Neither was I for you, you thought.

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twinge-of-cosmicangst · 6 months

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I’m so confused about what happened to Sylvie when Loki was left at an empty TVA and the rest of the gang were sent back to the original timelines. Like Casey, B15, Mobius and OB were TVA employees kidnapped from their original timelines so they went back there. Loki and Sylvie were kidnapped from their timelines also, but they are different in that they never had their memories wiped, so maybe that’s why they didn’t go back to their original timelines, idk it doesn’t make much sense, but I can accept because it’s fiction and so like OB said it’s “not how but why” but then WHY wasn’t Sylvie left behind with Loki when everyone disappeared. She had a TemPad so did she just escape with it straight away?? Before or after Loki Time slipped?? Before doesn’t make sense because she would’ve offered him to escape with her before the place spaghettified, after doesn’t make sense either because in that case she would have seen him time slipping and therefore she wouldn’t have been surprised when he did it front of her at maccy ds.

When Loki explained to her that the others went back to their original timelines she was like “I know I was there” like what? How would being at the TVA when it all went to shit mean that she would know what happened to the others, Loki didn’t know until he literally met them all, like what exactly did Sylvie see happen to the others?? I’m so confused, I get that she doesn’t care much about the others, she only just met Casey and OB, she barely knows B15, she had a little bit of a bonding moment with Mobius last season but that was only one time. But Loki she actually cares about at least a bit, and we the audience are supposed to think that, and yes, her life of trauma has made her suppress caring for anyone (don’t get me wrong she openly cares for people on a large scale, she was upset when all those branches were destroyed, but it’s when it’s on a personal level is when she suppresses) and presenting as cold and distant BUT there’s a difference between being cold and distant and literally not seeming to give a fuck about what happed to Loki, she barely seemed relived when seeing him, you can argue she knew he was alive, but how did she know?? Like once Loki got the TemPad from OB he could find Sylvie, like he needed her for the temporal aura thing, but like he would of checked on her anyway even if he didn’t, why didn’t she check on him? But also if Slyvie and Loki are the great romance, why didn’t he try to retrieve Sylvie before Casey and B15, he knew that B15 and Casey were alive, because he saw them while time slipping, when he time slipped to where Sylvie was he was facing away from McDonald’s and probably wouldn’t have been able to process where he was, let alone know if Sylvie was ok. And if he did process where he was and therefore figure out that Sylvie had returned to McDonalds and was therefore ok, wouldn’t it have occurred to him that Sylvie was not like the others, she hadn’t returned to her original timeline (I’ve heard people say Slyvie doesn’t have a original timeline to go to, but she literally does, she was taken from Asgard as a child, if what happened to Mobius and co happened to her she would’ve been on Asgard or new Asgard, maybe broing it out with Thor, as branch timelines exist now, hers could too…) and if he knew she wasn’t on her original timeline and instead on her new timeline she choose for herself, he should’ve been able to work out that unlike the others she would remember him, so you think for that reason he’d want to see her asap but it’s like the two of them barely thought of each other.

Loki was focused on the TVA gang and she was focused on living her new life on the timeline, which is fine, but I just know that they’re gonna be end game which would be totally left field at this point. Even though I don’t ship Slyki their obviously was build up of their relationship in season 1 but then in season 2, Sylvie’s had a complete disregard for Loki and he has had an ever growing indifference to her, which is a complete 180 and a weird writing choice, but it’ll be another weird writing choice to 180 to reverse it all again and have them be end game at this point…

#Loki #loki series #loki spoilers #I’m not anti slyki per say i mean I don’t enjoy them as a ship but there not bad enough for me to be anti #I’m just anti bad writing and nothing about they way the Loki and Sylvie romance is written make sense #like slyki shippers don’t think I’m hating on you cause I get why you ship it cause there was like a reason to ship it in season 1 #like i didn’t personally but I get it #If I did ship it I would be even more annoyed with the whole thing #because the way they have been written this season is that they dgaf about each other which is oc for both of them considering season 1 #If they are endgame I feel like it’s not satisfactory for slykis because the slyki content has been dire this season #it’s like slyki ans lokius both loose and Marvel failed to write a successful love story for Loki

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torreshalstead · 11 months

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The Reminder

Summary - It sat there as a painful reminder, but one that Matt had begun to relish. He needed the reminder, needed to be reminded that there was something, someone, worth fighting for. It got packed in his bag every time he flew back to his home city, sitting insider at the bottom of his case. But maybe, just maybe, this time would give him the chance to actually use it and ask that long awaited question.

Notes - this turned out a little more angsty than I planned but it’s just where Casey’s mind went! Hope you enjoy anyway! AO3 Link

It was a visceral reminder every time he opened that drawer, a reminder that he had let her slip through his fingers. They had been so close to having everything they had ever dreamed of and then suddenly they couldn’t be any further from that point. He could put it away somewhere more hidden, he could return it, sell it, hell he could throw it into the ocean but instead he leaves it there. Almost welcomes the pain and the reminder every time he sees it, the reminder that he wasn’t strong enough to fight for her. And if he wasn’t strong enough then maybe he deserves the pain of seeing it every day.

He bought it just after her first visit to Portland when everything had seemed fine, better than fine, it was wonderful. They were a family and it was magical. It had taken them a long time, numerous obstacles, to get to where they were but he wouldn’t have changed any of it. Everything had been worth it when she admitted she was in love with him and he took her in his arms and promised himself he was never going to let her go.

Some promises however don’t get kept.

It was the logical next step - the ring on her finger, it was the future he wanted, it was the future they both deserved. But now it sat there gathering dust among his socks. The beautiful resting within the mundane. A heartbreaking reminder of how even the most perfect of things can fall apart.

He thought on her next visit he would actually do it, finally get it out of the drawer, drop down on one knee and ask her. Watch as she nodded and said yes, the tears streaming down her face as he slipped the ring onto her delicate finger. He knew she’d say yes, he knew she’d cry when she did. It was his Sylvie after all, she felt everything so deeply. It was one of the many reasons he loved her.

But then the next visit came and went and the ring stayed exactly where it was. There was something in the air the whole visit, hanging there unsaid between them. It didn’t seem right, it didn’t seem like the time. So he didn’t do it. He let her say goodbye at the airport, hugged her tightly, kissed her sweetly and watched her walk away, her left hand still empty.

He spent longer than he cared to admit staring at that little velvet box. But instead of it once holding all of the hope of their future, it now felt heavy. The joy it once brought him, images of her crying when he asked her, he now saw a difference in her tears. They were no longer tears of joy, they were full of pain, full of hurt.

When he visited Chicago, he brought it with him, tucked tightly in his case as he boarded the plane. It was burning a hole in his pocket during the wedding. Watching his best friend marry the love of his life, knowing that option for him was slipping further and further away even as he grasped her hand tightly. It felt like he was carrying a grenade, it was about to go off and could blow up their lives.

And then she ended it.

And he let her.

He felt like he’d been holding her back, keeping her from living her life, her best life in Chicago. A life without him. So he didn’t fight, he didn’t argue. He let his heart shatter into a million pieces and didn’t do anything to stop it.

And yet still, he couldn’t be parted from the ring. It still sat in the drawer and he saw it every day. He promised himself, and her, that if he ever got a chance again, no matter how slim that possibility was, that he would ask her.

He continued to see it every day for months. Almost relished the pain when he opened the drawer and that tiny box glared back at him. A mark of his failure. He had failed to keep the love of his life in his life. He had let her walk away and take a piece of his heart with her. He deserved to feel like this.

When he was called back to Chicago again, the task force assignment needing him in the city, it felt like maybe this was the second chance he had been wishing for. That fate was finally shining down on him. Maybe things were falling right back into place. His time in Portland was drawing to a close, both boys were set with their plans for the immediate future, so he could return home soon. Return to the city he loved. To the woman he loved. To the life he still dreamt about every night when he closed his eyes and sleep overwhelmed him.

He decided to take the ring again, packed it safely into his case and promised himself that if the time came, if the opportunity presented itself that he was going to do it. He was going to ask her. They had already wasted so much time, he wasn’t about to let another second slip through their fingers.

But then Sylvie told him about Dylan and it was like he had lost her all over again. It was the Chaplain, it was Grainger, it was history repeating itself. The woman he loved, that he wanted by his side for the rest of his life, wasn’t his to love anymore. It caught him off guard, though in reality it shouldn’t. Why wouldn’t she move on, he had moved away, he had left her, she had every right to see someone else. But that reality did nothing to help the walls that were crashing down around him. The images that he had seen of her saying yes, of her in the white dress, agreeing to spend the rest of their lives together. Those images burnt like kindling in his mind. The ashes all he had left.

So he lied. Told her he was seeing someone else as well, that he was happy for her, and the ring stayed at the bottom of his case. Untouched and unused. Destined to haunt him forever.

When he returned to Chicago again, it was a habit to put it into the case but he never expected to actually get a chance to use it. When she told him she was adopting a baby girl, it was like his heart awoke. He always knew Sylvie was going to be the most amazing mother; she was incredible with Amelia, and had even formed such a great bond with Griffin and Ben in the short period she had been in their lives. And Matt would be lying if when she said she was doing it alone, he didn’t feel something deep inside his chest.

Finding out that she and Dylan had broken up, he attempted to hide his emotions, shielding his mouth once Violet had said the words but he knew it was written clear as day across his face. He’d never been good at hiding his feelings, especially when it came to Sylvie.

When the news broke that she was getting Julia, he felt every emotion possible concurrently. He was so overwhelmingly happy for her, her own joy evident in the tears that spilled down her cheeks. He wanted to be alongside her, wanted them to have the family they had always dreamed of together. The wedding, the 3 kids, all of it. Watching her cry with joy, it took everything he had not to let his own emotions burst forward and pull her into his arms right there in front of everyone. But he knew what had to happen next. It was the thing he had spent hours of his life contemplating but something he had come to the conclusion was now impossible. And yet here he was. Here they were.

It was now or never.

He didn’t have a plan. He didn’t know what he was going to say or how he was going to do it, but he grabbed the ring from the bottom of his bag and headed over to her apartment. His fingers drumming nervously on the wheel as he took the familiar streets to her home, autopilot firmly engaged. His mind was spiralling but at the same time was completely empty save for her. The images had returned, the ones of their future together and he couldn’t help but smile. The ring no longer felt like a dead weight in his pocket, wasn’t something to bring him down. It was a chance, it was a possibility.

He prayed to everything he knew that when he finally opened that box, showed it to her and asked her the question he had been longing to ask for so long, that she would say yes.

When he saw her eyes fill with tears, her smile stretched wide and her head nodding in agreement, he knew it had all been worth it. He pulled her into his arms, spun her around and buried his head in her neck. At that moment he made himself a new promise. A promise that no matter how hard things got, how many obstacles got thrown in their path, that he would fight for her. He would fight for them. As he slid the ring onto her finger, her hand shaking and her tears still flowing, his eyes never left hers.

‘I love you,’ he said. ‘And I always will’. And that was a promise he knew he could keep. He no longer needed the reminder, he had her.

#brettsey #Chicago fire #Sylvie Brett #Matt Casey #brettsey fanfiction #chicago fire fanfic #brettsey fanfic #chicago fire fanfiction #brettsey fic #chicago fire fic #one Chicago

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assorted-nothingness · 6 months

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Jokes about Loki standing 30 feet away aside…

The confrontation between Sylvie and Mobius felt very needed.

Now, yes I do think she was a little harsh, but she was clearly upset. And when people are upset they say awful things. We’ve all done this before, no need to pretend it’s a crime when Sylvie does it.

But like, it made sense. She thought that time was falling apart, she was anxious and scared and freaked out. And Mobius suggested they hang out and get pie. Pie!

Now, from Mobius’ POV, he’s obviously not being malicious or even uncaring. He’s honestly trying to be kind, to alleviate the situation, because he knows there’s nothing they can do while waiting for the nerds (affectionate) to solve the plot. So he suggests pie to decompress, because tbh it seems like Mobius likes sweets to cope with big emotions, which is cute! So, he offers pie as a way to make the situation more bearable.

But Sylvie, she sees it as dismissive, as uncaring, and that’s because she would believe that of anyone. Sylvie is deeply untrusting, especially of TVA agents, understandably, so she’d get her hackles raised by anything Mobius said in that moment honestly.

Nonetheless, Sylvie goes off on Mobius. And she is harsh, but the things she says aren’t necessarily untrue. She claims that Mobius (And the greater TVA) are irresponsible and careless. And although we have been there to see Loki and Mobius and Hunter B-15 lead the charge in changing the TVA, Sylvie has not. (Because she refused to. But Loki does address that in a follow up scene that I LOVE so we won’t go into that right now) So Sylvie accuses Mobius of not caring (or showing care) for the situation, specifically because he hasn’t allowed himself to be connected to the timelines.

Which is true! He went over it in a previous episode (again, that Sylvie was not present for, so how would she know his complex feelings on it). He expressed that his entire life is with the TVA, that’s all the memories he has, and he’d prefer to keep it that way for fear of what his life on the timeline may have looked like. For better or worse. Better? He might feel immense sadness for the life he lost. Worse? He might feel guilt for having “got out of it” when so many others didn’t. Either way, it would suck. So I completely understand not wanting to know.

And although his decision is valid and his choice, it does make Sylvie’s words just as valid. How can Mobius feel a connection to and empathy for people and their lives when he refuses to even see himself as one of them? He is explicitly distancing himself from the people of the timelines. That means he’s distancing himself from caring, in a way.

So Sylvie has a point. But she shouldn’t have been so cruel, but then again, she wasn’t there to learn about Mobius the way we have. And besides, Loki gives her a good talking to later. So I think it works out

#loki #loki series #loki marvel #loki show #loki season 2 #thoughts on loki season 2 #loki odinson #mcu loki #mcu #sylvie #mobius #s2e4

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mischief-lies-and-stories · 6 months

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Post-2x06 Ficlet

I'm still in denial about some of episode 5. My brain keeps going HERE'S HOW LOKIUS CAN STILL WIN, REASON #3234, etc. And also I want my Time Revengers to be friends. (I also may have inadvertently written their version of the shawarma scene.) Spoilers for Loki, minus episode 6 because it hasn't come out yet. (Although, given how episode 5 went and Scattered to the Wind, maybe I should say spoilers for episode 6.)

Shall I Stay? Would It Be a Sin?

It takes innumerable failed attempts, and Loki is exhausted, but at long last, it works. The Throughput Multiplier gets into the launcher, or whatever (OB has a more scientific term for it, but Loki’s going to pass out any second, so he can’t be bothered to remember it), the button doesn’t stick from the radiation, and the aim is true. The rings in the Loom increase in size, the timelines can fit before the Loom overloads, and whoever is wearing the suit this time gets back before their body unspools like spaghetti.

And it’s over. The TVA and the timelines and the multiverse are saved. Sylvie is looking at him like it’s time.

He knows it’s time.

He doesn’t want it to be time.

Mobius suggests pie, and Sylvie looks mutinous, but the six of them trek to the automat after sending Victor back to Chicago. They push the tables together, ignoring the warnings on the walls, and for a few minutes there is nothing but the sound of spoons scraping against ceramic.

But Loki can feel Sylvie’s eyes on him as he sits, shoulder to shoulder with Mobius, and he knows it’s time to broach the topic.

“I have to tell you all something,” he says softly, setting down his spoon and looking around at them all. Four more pairs of eyes swivel to him, and he takes a second to look at each of them, these people he’s come to care about. His friends. His chest aches and the pain nearly takes his breath away. He speaks anyway.

He tells them how they did not actually succeed on their first attempt, and these agents of a time-traveling institution don’t look particularly surprised by this, beyond their initial shock. It’s not the first time he’s told them something they don’t have memories of, after all. He tells them of the disastrous first attempt that scattered them across the timeline, back to where they were from. He doesn’t go into detail about their various lives; he will get to that later, when Sylvie restores their memories. He tells them how he tried to bring them all together to restore the TVA and save the multiverse, how ultimately it was not enough, how in the final seconds of their dissolving reality he finally learned to control the time-slipping. He explains his return to just before their first attempt, and trying over and over and over to get it right.

“Okay. Wow, that’s a lot,” OB says, looking around at the others.

“So… now what?” Casey asks.

Now I lose you again. Loki takes a steadying breath. “Now, if Sylvie is able to help, we’ll restore your memories and you can go back to your lives.”

Sylvie nods to the others, then glances at Loki, the look in her eyes changing to sympathy and encouragement.

There’s a long pause as the agents digest this information.

“Hold on, don’t we get a say in this?” Casey says. OB nods in agreement.

“You didn’t get a choice last time. He Who Remains abducted you from your life.” Loki says. But, not for the first time, he recalls finding Casey on the beach, escaping a high-security prison, on the brink of becoming a fugitive. His eyes find Sylvie at the thought. A fugitive, like his other. He wonders if she would still believe it is right for everyone to go back to their timelines if she knew, but it’s too late now; that argument is long over.

“But it sounds like we aren’t getting a choice this time, either,” OB says. “What about our lives here?”

This isn’t how he expected it to go. After his conversation with Sylvie in the bar in Broxton, he’d been convinced he was doing what his friends wanted. Yet here they were, making the same arguments he had that night. He looks to Sylvie for help.

“This isn’t a life, OB. This is control. You’ve been controlled for who knows how long. You can be happy now.” Sylvie says.

“You can write your own story.” Loki adds.

“I am happy now,” OB says quietly, glancing very quickly at Casey before staring down at their pie.

“And what do you want, Loki?” Mobius says softly at his side, ripping his heart out with six carefully spoken words. He forces himself to turn and make eye-contact with Mobius, with the one it’s going to hurt the most to lose.

“It’s not about what I want,” Loki replies, just as softly. “What I want doesn’t matter.”

Mobius holds his gaze for a long moment, and Loki’s heart aches at the sadness he sees in the agent’s eyes.

“Do you really think you deserve to be alone?” Mobius murmurs finally, and Loki is launched back to before the Loom became unstable, before the Citadel and He Who Remains and being pruned, before Mobius was pruned. He remembers the last time the agent asked him that, in a time loop of Sif calling him a conniving, craven, pathetic worm.

“You will be alone forever, because you deserve it.”

Loki blinks, opens his mouth and closes it a few times. He can’t. He can’t do this, not if Mobius is going to break his heart and put it back together and break it again without meaning to in the span of a breath.

“Mobius. Please don’t do this to me.” Loki whispers, his voice barely a breath. He hopes the others cannot hear, but he knows that Mobius can.

Mobius opens his mouth to respond, but B-15 finally speaks up. “Let’s compromise, Sylvie,” she says calmly, somehow easily picking up that this is Sylvie’s idea in Loki’s mouth. “You and Loki can restore their memories, and we can all make our decision with both eyes open. Stay at the TVA, or return to our former lives.”

“Why not yours?” OB asks.

“Sylvie has already given them to me,” B-15 says. “Before the timeline fractured, actually.”

“And?” Casey prompts.

“I’m staying.” She says with confidence. Loki stares at her, and Sylvie whirls to face her.

“Why? You told me you thought you looked happy!” Sylvie demands.

“I did. I was a pediatrician. I did good work, I made kids feel better. But I lived in New York.” B-15 says, and Loki’s mind moves faster than her story. He knows what’s coming before she says it. “My practice was destroyed in 2012.”

“B-15, I–” The remorse and grief that strikes him like a knife cuts off his voice for a moment, and leaves him at a loss for words. He swallows. “I’m sorry. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry–”

“Loki, save it,” she says, but her voice is kind and calm. “If I knew you for a shorter amount of time, or I had not had as much time to process, I might be angry. If I could recall if there were any casualties, I might feel differently. But I’ve seen the recording of your life, and I know what brought you to my city and caused that Chitauri warrior to crash into my building.”

Memories of the bowels of a ship and a Mad Titan and his children taking Loki apart piece by piece with knives and magic and lies, putting him back together in the image of a follower of Thanos and a shell of his former self. He locks the thoughts away again, in that box that will one day need to open, but not today.

“And anyway,” B-15 continues, thoughtfully, “I got my revenge, in a way. I arrested you after you stole the tesseract.”

Loki smiles involuntarily. “You hit me in slow motion.”

B-15 smiles back. “So we’re even. Sort of.” She turns to Casey, who sits beside her. “Your turn.”

Sylvie gets up. She still looks surprised that anyone wants to stay here. Casey looks at her, eyes a little wide with fear.

“You can look, and then you can make a decision,” B-15 reminds him. He glances at OB, then back to Sylvie and nods.

Sylvie places her hands on the side of his head, and Loki watches the magic dance between her fingers, flow into Casey’s temples. After a moment, she pulls away and Casey opens his eyes. Loki catches a small frown on Sylvie’s face.

“I…I escaped prison.” Casey says. “I was about to be a fugitive. I don’t want to be on the run for the rest of my life. That sounds hard. And lonely.”

Loki feels a little sympathetically embarrassed when everybody turns from Casey to look at Sylvie.

Sylvie swallows, uncomfortable. “It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” she says, voice somewhat choked.

“I don’t want to go back,” Casey says, with another glance at OB.

Sylvie moves to OB, and it occurs to Loki that Casey did not actually choose to stay at the TVA with his answer.

Sylvie repeats the spell, and when OB opens their eyes, they shake their head almost immediately. They meet Casey’s eyes before looking around the table, and Loki starts to wonder if something might be going on between these two.

“This is my life,” they say with conviction. “On the timeline, I’m alone, I’m unemployed, no one appreciates what I most enjoy doing. I don’t need anyone to appreciate it,” they add, flushing. “But on the timeline if no one appreciates it, I cannot support myself. Here, I have a purpose.”

A why, Loki thinks.

“And I’m happy.”

Loki thinks of fixing Mobius’s tie, of ruining his salad to illustrate a point. “You’re gonna take my job if I’m not careful.” “Come on, you’re the God of Mischief.”

“And I’m not alone.” Loki almost misses the fond smile OB gives Casey, because a hand grasps his shoulder and his stomach bottoms out. He turns to Mobius, and for a moment is lost in the eyes of this man who is so important to him, he scarcely has the words to explain it.

It’s firm hands grasping his, the most solid and comforting thing he’d felt since he’d been kicked through that Time Door and began time-slipping. It’s a nervous expression in Pompeii as Loki wreaked havoc on the timeline that turned to irritation, and then turned to affection. It’s a hug on a windswept moor at the end of time before everything went to shit. It’s that first glance when Loki returned from the past, catching the recognition in Mobius’s eyes, the way Loki’s heart sped up in response.

He’d tried to form the words before, as he watched Mobius walk through that Time Door in the void, before Loki time-slipped and almost never saw him again, as they watched the Loom explode the first time. He never had a chance.

His heart is in his throat as, distantly, he hears OB say, “I’m staying.”

That’s three of his friends, far more than he’d expected, far more than perhaps he deserves.

But now it’s Mobius’s turn, his first friend, his dearest, the one he expects will leave, the one who will be the hardest to let go.

“Okay, Mobius,” Sylvie says, though Loki still holds Mobius’s gaze.

“Let Loki do it,” Mobius says.

“I don’t know how.” Loki replies, unable to raise his voice above a whisper.

“Yes, you do,” Mobius says, voice as steady and calm as it always is, tone confident and trusting. Then, he drops his voice to the same volume as Loki’s, though his tone remains the same. “You can do anything.”

You saw something in me that I hadn’t seen in myself. He’s doing it again.

Loki turns to him fully, and Mobius leans forward. Loki places his fingertips to the sides of Mobius’s head and shuts his eyes, recalling Sylvie’s description of the magic. And then he presses into Mobius’s mind and finds the memories the TVA had long locked away from him. He pulls them forward, and they watch them unfold together.

What? This isn’t right. But it has to be; they are the memories that were trapped in Mobius’s mind.

The memories that come forth are not what Loki passed through when he time-slipped along the timeline. How is that possible? Everyone else’s lives were as they remembered. Yet somehow Mobius fell into another place in time, a place that was not his.

His true life along the timeline is far more lonely. He seems happy enough, has friends, dates occasionally, and is satisfied with his job. But he does not have children, never divorced or widowed or even married.

As the memories fade and the magic dissipates, Loki opens his eyes to see Mobius looking at him. He is too overwhelmed by what he has seen– and not seen– to feel anything under Mobius’s stare.

“That’s not how it happened,” Loki says before Mobius can speak. “You… you had children. I saw them.” He looks to Sylvie for help.

“We don’t create memories,” she reminds him. “Whatever you saw in his head is his true past.”

“But he had sons.” He looks back to Mobius. “You had two sons. You were raising them by yourself. You were reluctant to leave them.” Two boys couldn’t just disappear from existence. Not without being pruned. Could they?

Mobius looks thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe if you showed me your memories, we could figure out what happened.”

Loki nods, moving his hands back to Mobius’s temples. He shows Mobius the children, Kevin and Sean. He recalls their blond hair, the matches and burnt action figure and Kevin claiming he stole the matches. He remembers Mobius bribing the other boy, Sean, with a puppy, remembers Sean insisting on a snake. He’s startled out of the memories by Mobius, laughing.

“Why are you laughing?” Loki asks. He looks at Mobius, and realizes he’s red.

“You didn’t notice?” He says. “Loki, they’re light-haired. They look like me, but… one of them is mischievous and plays with dangerous things, and the other likes snakes.”

Suddenly, B-15 and Sylvie start laughing, too. Loki glances at them, startled, and realizes OB and Casey are wearing surprised smiles.

“What?” Loki asks them. “I don’t understand.”

“Mobius’s children are carbon copies of their parents,” B-15 explains. “They are identical to one parent in appearance, and one in personality.”

“It’s a classic trope in animated children’s movies,” OB adds. “Saves time for the artists, even if it’s not exactly realistic.”

Sylvie crosses her arms. “Come on, Loki.” She encourages. “Use that mischievous brain of yours.”

Oh. Oh, Norns. It strikes Loki like a flash of his brother’s lightning. He whips back around to stare at Mobius, who has somehow turned even redder as their friends laugh around them.

“You made them up.” Loki accuses. Mobius inclines his head. “How is that possible? How did they become real?”

“I don’t know,” Mobius says.

“Are they still real?”

“I don’t know,” he says again. “But you saved the multiverse, so if they are, I’m sure that me is back with them.”

“Oh my God, Loki, you’re missing the point!” OB shouts gleefully.

“I’m not, I’m waiting for you lot to go away,” Loki snaps, but he must look as dazed as he feels when he turns to look at them all, because they all laugh again. A bubbly joy rolls up in his chest at the sound, and he can’t find it in him to be angry or annoyed with these meddlers. His friends are alive, and they’re all staying here with him (except perhaps Sylvie, but he knows where to find her, and Mobius hasn’t given his answer yet, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious what they all think his answer will be). He has friends.

“Aw, come on, we’ve been waiting for this forever!” Casey teases. Loki turns to snarl at him, but Mobius chooses that moment to put his hand on Loki’s leg, and every thought in Loki’s mind vanishes.

“Give them a moment, there will be plenty of time to tease them later,” B-15 says reasonably, standing up. Casey grumbles, but he and OB follow her.

Sylvie rolls her eyes at Loki and Mobius. “Like a couple of children with their first crush, I swear,” she mutters, which is just not fair. Loki didn’t manifest a fantasy about his and Mobius's imaginary children somehow strong enough to supersede his real past.

When the door shuts behind her, Loki turns back to Mobius, who is still watching him.

“What do you want, Loki?” he asks, an echo of his earlier question. His eyes are gentle as he gazes at Loki, and Loki feels every wall he built around his heart from the moment he bore witness to Mobius's (imagined) past to protect himself against this point, crumble to dust.

“I want you to stay.” Loki whispers, hearing his voice shake. “I don’t want to have to say good-bye to you.”

Mobius smiles. He reaches out, cradles Loki’s face in his hands, and kisses him. Loki presses closer, clutching the lapels of Mobius’s jacket, and kisses back.

“I love you,” Loki whispers, kissing Mobius again and again.

“I love you, too,” Mobius responds. “I’m sorry that there was ever any moment, or ever a version of me, that made you think I wasn’t going to stay. That made you think I didn’t love you.”

#loki #loki tv show #loki season 2 #sylvie laufeydottir #mobius m mobius #loki season 2 spoilers #loki fanfic #lokius fanfic #lokius #ob/casey #my fanfiction #my writing

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kiteblue42 · 6 months

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Part 5 of - what the heck is going on with Mobius anyway?

S2e6- the one I can’t bear to rewatch

This was a great ending for Loki and appropriately bittersweet - hearing Mobius on the timeline missing him (and all his friends) but knowing they are safe because of what he is doing 😭😢😭. Although I hoped we might get a cute happy ending - this was no where near as terribly bleak as I thought we might be headed at one point.

Though there were quite a few lose ends including some of the themes that did not pay off … Apparently marvel vetoed the original scrip for episode 5 which might explain those (I do wonder why?) I’m sure the internet can speculate 🧐.

I can’t face a rewatch at the moment so from memory….

There are only 2 really important Mobius passages in Ep 6 (which was rightly Loki focussed).

- the historic interrogation room scene

- The final Mobius section

Interrogation room scene

Loki returns to his first conversation with Mobius essentially to get his advice. Mobius is his moral compass he wants to know what he should do.

The upshot is Mobius fundamentally thinks doing the right thing is to accept a burden - it’s not necessarily what you want to do, it’s not what will make you happy but if you don’t do the right thing in Mobius view that is not something he’d be able to bear.

This is important for his ultimate fate because he is not expecting a happily ever after.

Goodbye TVA

All the Mobius content back in the TVA “after” just speaks of someone grieving. Loki is clearly haunting every shot and Mobius can’t move on if he stays there. “You’ll find no comfort at the TVA” from the interrogation scene appears prophetic. He literally sits frozen at his desk when we first see him. His decision to go and look at the timeline is not really because he thinks the others won’t miss him (B15 makes it clear) but it’s also obvious he’s not essential either. It’s because he misses Loki too much and this is one of the last pieces of advice Loki gave him.

The timeline

Back on the timeline he has gone to see what could have been. It’s the good life he predicted, but in the end it’s not as painful as he thought because he can say that’s something he helped to protect. (describing the house as the “best on the block.”) . This reminds me of the end of Dr Strange (mom) where Strange and Wong discuss their alternatives being happy and how that’s a comfort in a way.

Loki’s absence is still felt & not just because Sylvie raises it, but also because of Mobius quoting “never look never know”. It seems to be a positive thing that Loki’s words inspired action here where in the TVA Mobius seemed completely locked in stasis.

“Let time pass”

Well thanks Mobius - what the heck does this mean!?

So in previous posts particularly running up to s2e2 Mobius seemed to be in a bad way. In fact lots of us spotted that Mobius seemed to have a death wish / was primed for some sort of sacrifice. (Falling for a god if you’re a mortal generally goes pretty badly after all).

I read “let time pass” as positive as we can expect - it’s a decision not to stop which I think was a thought lurking in the back of Mobius psyche through both seasons. It’s not yet a positive get out there and live (which Sylvie has chosen). Not yet anyway.

This is consistent with Mobius character- someone who deals with what is put in front of him, accepts it’s not all about happiness or comfort, will accept a burden and ultimately would be proud of Loki’s own sacrifice (and would not want to undermine that).

The writers say it was not a cliffhanger ending (and in general that’s right) but this *did* feel like a cliff hanger - Mobius seems to have chosen not to die but he’s not yet chosen life. He is still “no where man”.

I really really hope we check in on Mobius again in future and see him making some steps back into life.

Thanks to all the bloggers and artists out there for a really fun Loki season 2 - I’ve enjoyed the chaos - hope no one is feeling too despondent!

#loki #mobius #lokius #loki spoilers #mobius m mobius #lokius meta #loki season 2 #loki meta #loki and mobius

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stardreamer28 · 1 year

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I only watched the brettsey scenes but I agree with @selenas-gomz . I think between all of Jesse’s interviews past and present alot of it makes sense. in s9 Jesse said he would come back to fight for Sylvie if she was with someone else. the fighting for hasn’t happened yet but he has come back twice, I’m hanging onto that. and then the new ones where he said it’s a bit of pride. that makes sense because if he thinks Sylvie is happy with someone else (even if she’s not) then yes he’s gonna lie. he wants her to live her life. in all honesty I still maintain it wasn’t his choice to breakup. she did it out of insecurity about the future which was understandable. and things that have to fall into place is obviously getting back with sylvie. or he may be undercover for these attacks on the grid, wouldn’t be the first time he’d gone undercover. and remember writers like to cause drama. they didn’t wait til s9 before they got brettsey together for nothing

#brettsey #Chicago Fire

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themculibrary · 2 years

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Time Travel Fix-It’s Masterlist

A Traveller of Dimensions (ao3) - IViv tony/stephen M, 19k

Summary: There was no other way.

Repeat the same thing enough and it begins to taste like truth. For twelve blurry months, Stephen chanted those words to himself, unable to wake from the nightmare of what had come to pass. And now the unthinkable happened. Now Spider-Man proved him wrong.

Fate could be altered. Destiny was but a front.

Stephen performed the spell at Liberty Island with a vice around his heart. It was perhaps due to this revelation, that he failed to notice one unlikely traveller slip through the closing rift.

[Set immediately after the events of Spider-Man: No Way Home.]

Back in Time (ao3) - Panic_CelestialInk G, 4k

Summary:

"I’m going to kill Rocket when I get back, Peter vowed. He knew Rocket loved stealing valuable stuff, but of all the people he could steal from, why did he have to choose the bloody wizard"

Peter never thought he'd end up back in time, in 1988 Missouri . . . and he never expected that he wasn't the only one to go back.

Back to the Future (ao3) - Leshaya steve/tony M, 21k

Summary: Steve didn’t confirm he had lived this whole time in the past; he just didn’t deny anything.

Beginnings (ao3) - QueenMilaAshdown past pepper/tony, pre tony/stephen, gamora/peter T, 27k

Summary: When cracks between realities wake the Infinity Stones, they decide to take action and try to fix what Thanos broke. But to do that, they must first claim something of theirs, something that hasn't been claimed in centuries.

Together with Life, Death, and Fate, they must claim their Champions.

colder and colder (when the sun goes down) (ao3) - howlingbuchanan (penmarks) bucky/sam, loki/mobius G, 12k

Summary: “How long will this take?”

“For us, just a few seconds,” Bruce said. He didn’t take his eyes off the screens in front of him. “For him, as long as he wants.”

A man out of time, a briefcase of Infinity Stones, and a TVA Analyst with a penchant for pesky Variants.

I’ll Be Good For All of the Times That I Never Could (ao3) - Firecracker (QueenJules) G, 3k

Summary: Natasha decides to make a detour to the past on her way to Vormir.

I miss You More than i Thought I Would (ao3) - Raincloudfaerie tony/stephen G, 2k

Summary: After the events of MoM, Stephen Strange wonders if maybe he could have found another way to save Tony and the world, one where he had a chance at love.

in another time, synchronised (ao3) - gremlit G, 3k

Summary: Thor and Loki, becoming the brothers they almost were.

I've Been Living to See You (ao3) - Mireille steve/tony T, 1k

Summary: Steve can give both himself and his 2012 self the happy endings they deserve, if his younger self will go along with it.

Peter and Morgan's 40-Year-Long-Day (ao3) - thisMarvelousLife T, 26k

Summary: Morgan is far too clever for her own good. She knows that the infinity stones can do anything, so surely they'd let her see her dad again.

Peter never planned on using the stones, he just wanted to keep Morgan out of trouble.

(The time-travel fix-it fic in which Tony lived his life with his kids from the future showing up at random intervals thanks to time stone shenanigans)

Time After Time (ao3) - ElisabethMonroe sam/bucky T, 7k

Summary:

In 2010, Sam Wilson meets a mysterious man in the desert In 1941, Bucky Barnes meets a mysterious man in the woods In 2026, Sam and Bucky get caught in the rain In 2012, Bucky and Sam meet during an alien invasion (In that order) (Time travel fix it, kind of)

Time Heals All Wounds (ao3) - Vicky87

Summary: After Loki and Sylvie reunite after the sacred timeline is split they set out to fix what was broken and get the help they need...from a particularly important time for the Avengers.

We Will Foresee Obstacles (ao3) - blackwatchandromeda (avenris) T, 11k

Summary: Post-Endgame fix-it fic because I refuse to accept that part. Contains plenty of Ironfam, with a healthy dose of May, Ned and fake time travel science.

Wish We Could Turn Back Time (ao3) - Girlinpink44 pepper/tony T, 64k

Summary: With a snap of his fingers, Tony Stark finds himself with the chance to change everything. Armed with foreknowledge and his found family, can he figure out a way to stop Thanos before he snaps? They say hindsight is 20/20 and Tony is about to find out how true that really is.

#themculibrary #marvel #mcu #peter parker #morgan stark #tony stark #time travel #time travel masterlist #fix it #fix it masterlist #time travel fix it #masterlists

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starport-seven-five · 1 year

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WIP Tag Game

Rules: Pick five fragments from your unfinished WIPs and then tag five people to keep it going. Let’s have fun with it and help each other shape those fragments into published fics!

I was tagged by both @dewdropreader and @insert-witty-user-name-here. Thank you both for the tags!

Unlike Dewdrop I have SO MANY to choose from 🤣🤣 and I’ll share the five closest to completion.

(It’s me, so there’s NSFW stuff mixed in here 🙃)

Struggling to get this one done before Christmas- or at least before New Years! It’s that same Sylvie/reader universe- the one with the crack smut that’s oddly hot and awkwardly personal!!:

Because Sylvie’s in your living room, dressed in the same festive red sweater from the first time you saw her, greeting you warmly like you’re just old friends (you know, who’ve only actually met twice and fucked both of those times), and more importantly, like Loki isn’t watching you both with wide eyes from beneath your Christmas tree, crouched on all fours and naked except for the shiny red ribbon tied into a gift bow around his neck, reindeer antlers atop his head, and a furry little reindeer tail protruding from his ass cheeks, which you can only assume is attached to a butt plug of some sort.

That squishy Mobius tummy needs sexy worship and I don’t even care how weird I am:

It’s strange, and he knows it. He’s done stranger, sure, but it was always a novelty, the pushing of a limit, something where the thrill lay in the taboo. But this… the thrill is in the act itself, pure and simple, and it feels impossibly different.

He grinds down, experimentally, into the welcoming give of Mobius’s soft belly, and all at once he’s certain he couldn’t stop himself no matter how strange he knows it is. A shaky moan spills from his lips as he does it again, and again.

The daggers/sword love story no one asked for:

Æsileif was passed from Minuteman to analyst to Minuteman, and so on, before being settled into the hands of Judge Ravonna Renslayer, whose energy and attitude were downright repugnant to her.

This was the woman who stole Sylvie’s life from her.

This was the woman Æsileif was made to destroy.

And yet, Æsileif was useless, helpless without a hand to wield her.

She’d never felt so maddeningly, vengefully, frustrated before in her entire existence.

But then he walked in.

This Mobius, she’d seen him briefly earlier, while she was being transported through the halls.

Another mindless drone, brainwashed by the TVA to do its bidding.

But no, something was different, Æsileif realized as she listened to him speak with Renslayer. He pushed, he questioned.

And when the time came, he acted.

The Lokius angst fest with a side of extreme dubcon (no dubcon or sexual content in this snippet):

“So tell me, Loki. Why are you really here?”

“I told you, Mobius, please—”

The tears that sting his eyes when he feels the back of Mobius’s hand strike him across the face are unexpected and humiliating. It isn’t the pain, really. It’s shock, it’s loss, it’s betrayal.

“Seeing how it seems you’re feeling uncooperative, I suppose we’ll have to continue this conversation a little later. It’s been fun.”

The time cell he’s thrown into is a far, far worse memory than the one he’d been trapped in before. Loki hears the awful screeching of the Chitauri before anything else, and the last image he has to hang onto before the cell door closes is that of the eyes he’s come to know so well, now devoid of any warmth or familiarity. He sinks into a crouch on the cold rock, hugging his knees against his chest and reaching desperately for the memory of kindness in those eyes.

That’s really it for things close to being finished that I have yet to share, so I’ll throw this one in, the McSylkius AU that I really don’t expect to ever finish:

Sylvie sighed heavily, pressing her forehead to the relatively cool tile wall beside the register. The night was almost over, thankfully—just a few more minutes and she could close the place up. She closed her eyes as she leaned into the wall, silently hoping that the rest of the evening would be uneventful.

The steady, chaotic stream of customers they’d experienced that evening was far from unusual for a night like this one. They were the nearest fast food—and the latest to close—from the hotel a couple of miles away, whose grand ballroom saw many events on Fridays and Saturdays, and it was standard for their weekend nights to be filled with latecomers barreling through after a long, stuffy evening, still dressed in their formal attire, looking for a greasy, satisfying after-dinner snack or meal—and tonight was no exception. The crowds had just died down from this night’s post-gala rush, though, and Sylvie was looking forward to having a moment to eat something, herself, and to putting her feet up at home.

The sudden whoosh of cool evening air and the sound of the door opening, though, snapped her out of those thoughts immediately. Fuck. Oh well, this’ll be the last of them, she thought, straightening up and plastering her best customer service face—which, truth be told, was not that great, even when she wasn’t this exhausted—back on, and turning to face into the restaurant.

I am really bad at tagging people but @playinggalaga I know you’ll enjoy getting in on this! Anyone else who wants to, please do! I just don’t want to bug anyone 🙈

#fanfic #sylki #lokius #sylkius #wips

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midnight-circus · 1 year

Text

Love Meme

For Felix. the little soyboy

Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love.

Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

Felix is romantic in a theoretical sense. In truth, he’s too self-conscious to act in the way he’d like to, just in case he misses the mark or is rebuffed. He’s very fond of giving gifts (although he can’t often afford them), but receiving them is difficult – it feels a little too close to charity.

How important is sex to them in a relationship? Do they see it as something essential to their happiness? Would they be able to remain in a monogamous relationship with someone they loved without sex?

Lol. He lived in a monogamous relationship with someone he loved for close to twelve years, and the latter nine of those were without sex. And no, he wasn’t happy – as uncomfortable as he is with being an object of desire, sex is an important part of a relationship for him. However, his loyalty to his wife was just as important, and it kept him there long after they both knew it was over.

How do they feel about public displays of romantic affection? Does it make them uncomfortable? How do they feel if a romantic partner kisses them in public?

It makes him uncomfortable for a long time – it’s only after several years with Lyon and Alice that he’s able to shed some of this self-consciousness and engage in some of their antics. He and Sylvie never did more than hold hands in public, and even that was a little too much at times – the sort of public behaviour that Lyon gets up to is quite beyond him.

Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

Felix was attracted to Lyon immediately on meeting him (although he didn’t much like him as a person at first), but he didn’t recognise it as sexual for quite some time. If he were to think back across his life, he would be able to pinpoint other moments of similar attraction to both women and men, but loyalty to his marriage kept him from exploring these thoughts further – as such, he didn’t realise how deep this vein ran until meeting Lyon.

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

Oh lol. The thought of trying to conceptualise himself based on his sexual attractiveness to others makes him want to turn his own skin inside out so he doesn’t have to do it anymore. He doesn’t consider his looks to make him less worthy of love, but certainly less worthy of sex – particularly sex with Lyon and Alice. His confidence does improve a little as time goes on and he’s more able to engage openly with sex, but he’ll never consider himself quite on their level.

Philia – Affectionate, Platonic Love.

Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?

He considers Lyon and Alice his closest friends – there’s nothing he doesn’t share with them. His first best friend was Sylvie – they met at thirteen, married at eighteen, and sat in each other’s pockets (for better and for worse) until their eventual divorce at age thirty. He has befriended his colleagues at the asylum – Phineas and Iszak in particular, and in the latter he finds a valuable ally in times to come. And in truth (although he knows this isn’t ideal practice), he considers several of his patients in this light as well, and will go out of his way to treat them as such. He is wise to do so.

Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?

He gets on ok. He always feels like he’s fumbling through a conversation and making a fool of himself left and right, but from an outside perspective he’s probably doing quite well – he’s pleasant and friendly, listens well and shows a genuine interest in others. It’s hard to properly dislike him.

What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

He values humour and honesty (although not brutal honesty), and especially a capacity for empathy – if they don’t have any, then he’ll bully it into them whether they like it or not.

Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?

Yes, on the whole. Lyon and Alice are from a completely different world to his own, but perhaps this friendship was eased by the manner in which he met Lyon – they were forced onto equal footing by Lyon’s incarceration, and indeed perhaps the ball was further in Felix’s court. All told, he’s generally able to find something worth liking in everyone, which leaves him very well-placed in his job.

What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

He just wants the people he loves to be happy – whatever he can do to help that, he’ll do it. He can’t bear the thought of inaction. It’s partly why he stays with Sylvie for so long – to leave would have hurt her.

Storge – Unconditional, Familial Love.

Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

Difficult question. Felix’s mother loved him (enough to be suffocating), but ‘unconditionally’ is debatable. She loved the son she imagined him to be, and when he began behaving in ways that didn’t match up to this, she made it known what she thought of it.

Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans?

Eventually he does, although somewhat by accident – he’s terrified at first, convinced that it’s a mistake, convinced that he can only parent the way his mother did. These doubts are unfounded – although he is an anxious father, he’s able to hold this at bay and is far from the overbearing presence that he fears he could be. Lyon and Alice play their part in this – Alice distracts Felix whilst Lyon lets the kid fall off ponies and roll around in the dirt with the poodles and all is well.

How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

He did all kinds of nonsense to appease his mother growing up – when he fell ill as a child and almost died, her smothering love only intensified until he was afraid to breathe without her approval. Once he left the hospital, his days were spent sitting inside with her, where she could keep an eye on him. He became aware very young that her perceived happiness seemed to be reliant on him, and so he went out of his way to please her – this has left him with a deficit of self-worth, as it relies almost entirely on what he can provide to others.

Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role?

Three brothers. Strictly speaking Felix was the favourite, but it certainly didn’t feel like that at the time – ‘favourite’ simply translated into the one kept closest to their mother at all times. His relationship with his brothers is non-existent – he doesn’t know where they are or what they do, and feels rather ambivalent about this. They don’t know each other.

Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult?

He doesn’t need reciprocation. He loves both Lyon and Alice unconditionally, but is still secretly waiting for the day that they decide otherwise. When their child is born, he almost struggles to function under the weight of love for them, but fears he is the lesser parent. He continues to love Sylvie, even after all is said and done, and is scared for a long time of a life without her. In essence, Felix is primed to give love; he is unprepared to receive it.

Agape – Selfless, Universal Love.

Does your OC wish to make the world a better place? How far do they see that as being their responsibility? What lengths would they go to in order to help achieve this?

He’ll go as far as he possibly can to make life easier for those who need it. Felix loves the unlovable – the people that have been dumped by the wayside. He considers it his primary responsibility to care for the ones that others might not – if he doesn’t do it, who will?

Does your OC feel a spiritual connection to the world around them? Do they have a particular love for nature or living things?

He’s not a spiritual person at all, but he does have a love for nature – birds and flowers in particular, and most especially humans.

To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

Felix believes entirely in altruism. He understands the old dichotomy – people behave in ways that make them feel good, and so it’s impossible to enact true altruism – but at the same time, he scorns those who believe this is foolish or naïve. He is born to care about others, and refuses to be jaded. He believes this is his basic duty as a doctor, but also as a man.

Does your OC have a religious faith which emphasises the importance of a love for all people? If so then do they try to follow these teachings authentically? Or do they just pay lip-service to them? If not then do they follow a more martial or mercantile faith? Or none at all?

No religion.

Does your OC find it easy to empathise with their enemies? Or do they see it as important to dehumanise them in order to combat them with sufficient determination?

Felix empathises with everyone – even those he fears the most. It’s what makes him the doctor that he is.

Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love.

Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?

He couldn’t even if he tried – he’s never chatted somebody up in his life.

Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?

All the practice in the world couldn’t help him.

How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?

He assumed that his first time with Lyon was a one night stand until Lyon lol-no’d him a few days later; nevertheless, sometimes he feels like he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop.In terms of one night stands once he’s in the trio, he’s never as confident with them as either Lyon or Alice, but he’s been known to indulge on occasion – generally with one of the other two present (or both), but he has engaged in a few alone.

Who was your OC's first crush? How do they feel about it now?

His first crush was Sylvie – he didn’t really have the opportunity for crushes at a younger age, kept indoors as he was. He stills loves her platonically, and eventually, years after the dust of their divorce has settled, they’re able to reach friendship again.

What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

He’s certainly not immune, but he struggles to pinpoint exactly what he’s into as he doesn’t have much of a frame of reference. From an outside perspective, he’s very susceptible to dominant personalities – he’s not sure of what he wants, so he likes to be told. He also likes being touched (on the hand, arm, shoulder etc.), but no public groping (unless it’s a sex party, and even then he needs alcohol to work up to it). Too much verbal flattery just serves to make him uncomfortable – subtler approaches work better on him.

Pragma – Committed, Long-Lasting Love.

Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

Yes, and truth be told, he’s not sure what he’s done to deserve it. He can’t quite believe the position he’s ended up in, and wouldn’t trade it for the world – as far as he is concerned, Lyon and Alice make him a better person in more ways than he can count, and to have the opportunity to live his life with them is more than he considers himself worthy of. Not to quote Julie Andrews but somewhere in his youth or childhood, he must have done something good.

What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

I’m not sure he ever overcomes the feeling that he’s second-best – that if push ever came to shove, he knows where he’d stand. He’d never let on to Lyon and Alice and keeps it thoroughly to himself, but part of him is always be waiting for them to realise that they’re bored of him. He’ll probably carry that forever.

Are your OC's parents still together? To what degree do they look to their own parents as a model for their own ideal relationship?

They’re still together as far as he knows, but he communicates with them only by the occasional letter every two years or so, so who knows. They served as the model for his marriage to Sylvie, but considering how that ended they’re probably not the best basis of comparison.

After the initial fires of passion cool to some degree, what would keep your OC engaged in a relationship? Shared goals? Similar values? Or contented companionship?

He’d like to feel safe. He spent a lot of time feeling as though he was barely keeping afloat – with money, relationships, control over his own life. He needs to be able to put some of that fear down, whether he wants to or not.

What importance or value does your OC attach to marriage? Do they believe that it is important to make a public statement of commitment to another person (or persons)? Or are they more concerned about inheritance rights and security for their family? Or do they not see marriage as a necessary signifier of commitment and loyalty?

Marriage is important to him. There’s obvious reasons as to why it’s not feasible in his current relationship, and it’s certainly nobody’s fault, but it still pains him.

Philautia – Self Love.

Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

Felix doesn’t believe in sin, but he certainly believes in inadequacy. He rates himself solely on what he can provide to other people – he throws his heart at his work, because if he can help his patients then he can prove to himself that he’s doing something right, whilst at the same time chastising himself for not doing more. His self-worth is pretty damaged by his upbringing, and later by his feelings of inadequacy in his marriage – it will take some years before he can shed some of this. Indeed, for a long time he is convinced that Lyon is only engaging with him to get out of the asylum sooner (tbh this might be true at first), and even once Lyon is released, Felix finds it hard to accept that these repeated invitations to dinner aren’t extended purely out of obligation. He needs a good shaking.

Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?

He thinks it’s important to take care of oneself for public standards, but he’s not sure loving oneself is entirely necessary – he’s got this far without it. Lyon actually gives him a new perspective on this during their sessions – although open about his flaws (of which he seems to think there are many, although Felix has never agreed), Lyon’s apparent easy acceptance of his own inherent self-worth is pretty revolutionary for Felix to witness.

Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?

Felix will quite literally forgive anyone for anything, to the point that it’s almost an issue – he’s been known to absolve certain people of any responsibility for their own actions, which is his greatest failing as a doctor. The standards he holds himself to are standards that he’d never dream of putting on someone else (unless they’re Elrick Aurel),

Which of your OC's qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

His empathy, and his fostered lack of judgement – this is something he’s cultivated over years of listening to people discuss the worst parts of their lives. He’s trained himself to find the best in people, no matter how small, and he’s proud of this.

Has your OC always had the same opinion of themselves or has this changed over time? Have they learned to love themselves - perhaps with the help of others - as their journey progressed? Or have the consequences of their actions only served to erode their sense of self-worth?

He gets better. He’s never going to be a paragon of self-love, but it’s hard to feel too despondent about himself when he’s being showered with affection every day. He might never love himself, but in time he can accept that he is loved all the same.

#ocmeme1

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