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#and maybe that's part of why she's so. willing to listen
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Clone Force 99 (+ Howzer) S/O Cutting Hair to Escape
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Random idea of the boys having an s/o with long hair and needing to cut it to escape. No this isn’t me projecting because I have long hair. Not at all. No projection here.
Tw: Gender neutral (I try to be inclusive of all readers), violence, hair cutting with knife, threats, brief mention of death, all of the boys being sweeties tbh
This isn’t proofread so I die like a man
“Are you willing to listen to my terms now?!” The Twi’lek had her fingers in your hair, pulling tightly. It hurt, badly. And she wasn’t alone. There were a couple of other criminals around. All their own blasters were pointed at either you or the man you loved.
You swallowed, staring directly at your lover. His blaster was steady. He had good aim, but was he confident enough to take the shot with you so close?
You had a knife, but the armor the twi’lek criminal wore was too thick.
But your hair wasn’t. In one swift movement, you slice the strands of hair she had gripped so tightly. Once you had ripped yourself away, taking her off guard, your lover took the shot.
Hunter
Once you’re in his arms safe and the threat has been taken care of, he’s pissed. Not at you, but at the fact that this happened to begin with. His senses should have detected the threat and he should have protected you. Instead, you nearly got hurt because he was distracted.
If you’re super upset about your hair, he’s going to try and be reassuring. You still look amazing to him, but he understands if your hair is important to you for whatever reason. He’ll wipe away any tears and just offer comfort for such a loss. Yea, it grows back sure, but that’s doesn’t mean it’s any less important to you.
Hunter will struggle to look at you for a while. Not because he thinks your impromptu haircut is ugly, he just blames himself for what happened. He feels guilty he let something like this happen and It reminds him that he failed you.
Even though he’s upset with himself that he allowed this to happen, he’s so understanding and comforting to you.
Echo
He’s gonna fret over you and make sure you’re not physically hurt. He’s apologizing for letting this happen and not thinking of something to get you out of the clutches of a criminal. Like Hunter, he feels some guilt over what happened.
Once he knows you’re alright, then he’s gonna be heart broken for you and your hair.
He loves your hair. He loves playing with it. And he knows how it’s important to you. Even if hair grows back, he knows what it’s like to have a part of you taken. So he won’t judge your tears or emotions over having to cut your hair in such a way.
He’ll hold you and comfort you, giving soft reassurances.
Though, once your hair does grow back, he’s gonna suggest maybe tying your hair up to prevent something like this happening again.
Tech
He’s panicking until he knows you’re alright. He checks you over for any wounds and once he sees that you’re not hurt, he’ll hold you close.
He kisses your forehead and doesn’t even comment on your hair. To him, you just did a very clever move to get away from a criminal. It’s a shame about the hair, but you’re alright and that’s what matters.
Tech isn’t unsympathetic, he just won’t fully know you’re upset until you say something. He’ll offer what comfort he can but he might not entirely understand why you’re upset. It’s just hair, and even if he finds your hair beautiful, it’ll grow back.
You’ll probably have to explain why your hair is important and why losing that large amount of it upsets you. Once you explain, he becomes more sympathetic. Later, he’s going to do some research for way to potentially help your hair grow faster.
While your hair is in the process of growing back he also researches ways to take care of it. Like special oils, soaps etc. he’s a sweetie that way.
Wrecker
Might be more emotional than you, to be honest. Like Echo and Hunter, he’s upset you were grabbed by a criminal. But the fact that you had to cut your hair to get free? He’s beyond upset.
He is in despair. Wrecker loves your hair so much. He loves to play with it. Help you style it. He even learned to braid just so he could braid your hair (and Omega’s)
As your hair is growing back, he pretty much showers you in compliments. He knows how much your hair means to you and he’s gonna do his best to make up for what happened.
Even when it’s short he’s still gonna play with it to be honest.
Crosshair
He holds you so so tightly when you’re free. Crosshair will be shaking so badly. His emotions hit him waves. First was fear. Then relief.
Then rage. Absolute rage.
You’re his love. And you were in danger. You were forced to destroy something important to you in order to get free.
He’d feel useless. Like he failed you spectacularly. And now you were forced to cut your hair because he was too slow to react.
His anger over your hair is in connection to how you feel about it to be honest. If you’re emotional over the loss, he’s out for blood against the entire criminal group that did this. But if, say, you’re minimally upset and move on quick, so does he.
You wore it long because you liked it long. So he liked it.
But, bright side, if you end up liking your hair shorter, he likes it too.
It’s your hair. So how you like it, he likes it. He’s a pretty simple guy like that.
Howzer
Surprisingly calm. Once you’re free, he’s holding you in one arm and using the other to shoot down the other criminals. Once they’re down, his focus is on you.
He’ll pet your hair and feel where it was unceremoniously chopped off. After a second he apologizes so softly for being unable to help you.
However, he won’t directly say anything about your hair other than ask how you’re feeling. If you’re upset, he’ll hug you, and reassure you that it’ll grow back. It just takes time.
To him, he honestly prefers shorter hair just on the basis of it being more practical for battle, but if you like your hair long, just like Echo, he suggests tying it up or styling it in a way that’s more battle friendly. He’ll even help you with it.
Bonus:
Omega (platonic obv)
She’s going to cut her hair. She sees her brother’s lover sad over their chopped up hair? Welp, you’re not the only one who had their strands butchered by a knife.
I’d imagine her brother and you return to the Marauder with cut up blonde strands littering the floor and her looking so proud with her….new look.
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scythegirl13 · 2 days
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sparkle and shine aka a really good song for edward twilight from the suckening
alright so this song...i cant stop listening to the full version like at all. THIS SHIT HITS!!! and i want to talk about some of the things ive noticed in the song because its really cool. everyone is loosely tied to an instrument and thats something i really enjoy
so lets talk about the saxophone that is always playing. the solo sax which i think is an alto really captures edwards whole mood. its a romantic sax part of course it will, buts it the way that the thing needs to be supported by multiple instruments, piano which is playing simple cords all the time, a lot of percussion like tamberine and drum kit thats really only doing only one thing, violins which go up and down in a really simple beat, and voices, which there are many. if this was just a sax song, it'd still be good by itself but it'd sound empty. i think that symbolizes how edward is good at what he does, but he cant do it alone. he needs people that are willing, people that need to be somewhat in the know.
the piano part screams mary because of how crucial something like that is. this instrument is a staple jazz instrument, as in a lot of other genres of music. she also completely stops playing whenever the sax goes into the higher registry or when that one string instrument plays. she stops helping him whenever he goes into a high, waits, then goes again. if im right, thats such a cool way to have mary as a characterization as the piano piece
bass = deacon, supports him, but you can barely hear him. i think he plays the entire time, even when that one string instrument has an 8 measure solo. i think thats why the bass symbolizes him, because he supports shilos instrument.
NOW SHILOS PART!!! HES THAT ONE INSTRUMENT I CANT FIGURE OUT AND IM GONNA GO NUTZO BECAUSE I THINK ITS SOME TYPE OF ASIAN STRING INSTURMENT. maybe its the violin but i wanna say the pipa because it has that ring to it. anyways thats me going crazy now to the good bits! edit: its not th pipa its a fucking harp...guys im stupid
the sax completely stops playing whenever the HARP plays, it has a nice solo that goes of the base melody but also does its own thing. its supplied whatever is given and goes on this cool solo thats really good, but after eight measures the sax comes back in with a click from a tamberine. i think that tamberine is supposed to represent renwick in that part because thats the queue to switch over because hes the one that revealed that there is a prince out there.
all the other saxes are the edward copies, they play the same part as him but dont follow him to where they are also as important as him. they make his long notes not sound that bad, they make his notes into a cord. long notes is sometimes where the music can get boring due to it being there for so long. the other saxes stabilize his note and make sure its not boring.
the voices i think are vampire society in general. they play the crucial role of also not making it boring, but take those voices out then all of a sudden it sounds really empty and not a lot of things are that interesting.
alr thanks for coming to my ramblings, hope im right because i luv jazz. might do this for some other songs but i think this one is important because it plays on the "if everyone banded together, he has no power" motif which i adore
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allegorism · 3 months
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while i think it's fair to worry about how much they're going to change certain stuff, i also think there's Way too much doomposting surrounding bg3's changes in characterisation
#'they changed lae'zel' its literally a greeting.#which changes w different levels of affinity#and according to what i've read it was always in the game files but wasn't working?#she's pretty much still the same in the main plot and in her romance#and the whole thing w gale being more lenient about the magic items is literally bc he would leave if you closed the inventory#without giving him anything#like literally the only real change in characterisation that i've seen has been astarion and his opinion on the mizora thing#that and the gortash gay letters that were changed#other than that the changes have only added scenes (mostly related to epilogue stuff which may have felt lacking at first) and fixed bugs#i will also say that wyll's part in all of this has been Very lacking because he truly needs more content in comparison to astarion#but if they're willing to listen to fans? maybe they Will add stuff?#and about the added lines to the gortash scene.... adding more dialogue options is Not changing the characterisation of a character#it's literally giving you more options. if you don't like them you can literally NOT press the button#OH. i've just remembered. halsin's new thing. not going romantic on you if you didn't flirt with him#that's also another characterisation change i noticed. but that's a coherent one#if you didn't flirt with halsin why would he. yk.#anyways. i'm seeing too much doomposting. worrying about this is normal but people are being so pessimistic#mona.txt
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targaryenluvs · 6 months
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OUR LITTLE DOVE
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pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray
summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.
warnings: crazy lucy n corio conspiring like evil doers, manipulation, chasing, primal play?? is that what is called idk corio enjoys hunting your ass down, kidnapping, drugging, forced into accepting a third partner?? nc touching, abuse of power (peacekeeper), power dynamics, kinda cheating (lucy n corio), guilt-trip, jealousy, threatening, self doubt and relationship problems, murder, betrayal
word count: 3.0k
a/n: lol i complain about wanting to write fluff but all my good ideas r so dark 😭 someone needs to give me tips on how to write girls cuz i have no experience would be easier if i was gay boooo!!
he was like a shadow, stuck to your back, always.
you’d complained to lucy numerous times that you didn’t feel comfortable around him when she played at the hob, knowing he’d be there, in the crowd. “sweetie, he was my mentor. he helped me so much in the games, i wouldn’t be here without him. you love me don’t you? so you need to learn to love him too, he’s a good friend a mine. i love you and i gotta get to the stage baby.” she explained as she ran around getting herself and the covey ready.
you were always front row. wanting to be as close to lucy as possible. she looked especially majestic tonight with flowers in her hair. as you listened to her sing you’d managed to forget about the certain blonde peacekeeper near the back. but he hadn’t forgotten about you, nor lucy.
you’d left to get a drink and you’d came back to an unfamiliar tune. you usually knew every song being played off by heart but this was new.
Everyone's born as clean as a whistle
As fresh as a daisy
And not a bit crazy
Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing
she sounded as angelic as usual and the crowd around you seemed entranced.
As rough as a briar
Like walking through fire
This world, it's dark
This world, it's scary
lucy smiled at you once, just once. which threw you off since you usually got a bunch. especially during new songs and songs about you. was this not also about you?
I've taken some hits, so
No wonder I'm wary It's why
I need you
so it is about me! you thought as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sway to the music and singing. you’d hoped you wouldn’t miss a smile headed your way.
You're as pure as the driven snow
your eyes flew open as you stared at lucy, she was looking past you and to the peacekeeper. to coriolanus snow. you’d always been a rational person, you prided yourself on restraint but that restraint was hanging on by a thread. you wanted to jam a beer bottle into his neck. lucy was your girlfriend not his. and yet he smiled stupidly towards her as she sang and you could feel your heart clawing its way up. best to leave now rather than stay and hear more of the ever so driven man.
your head was spinning as you slumped to the floor, in one of your finest dresses yet worst mental states. of course, something had formed between the two. she was in the goddamn hunger games and he was her mentor. trauma bonding? he quite literally saved her life, coached her and you did what? sat at home and hoped.
hope could only get you so far.
your hope and faith in lucy gray baird was dwindling as her lyrics swirled in your head. of course she loved him. who wouldn’t? the man was undeniably eye catching. a capitol man. but you’d always imagined lucy staying away from the capitol, despising them. but maybe it wasn’t the captiol part but the man part. maybe she wanted a true life, a home, marriage and children and everything she could wish for.
what on earth could you provide her with?
“y/n?” it sure as hell wasn’t lucy calling out for you and you knew that. coriolanus’s reflection was prominent in the puddle before you as he neared. great, you sneered, would love to get to know you mr peacekeeper. please tell me how you stole my lovely girlfriend from me!
your chest felt oh so heavy as you heard his footsteps in the gravel, determined and unwavering as he made his way to your slumped body. “what do you want? you wanna gloat?” coriolanus stopped in his tracks, gloat? “why would i gloat?” you looked up at him annoyed, “rub it in my face. you practically stole my girlfriend from me.” coriolanus laughed. actually laughed and it made you want to strangle him with his stupid dog tags.
“sweetheart.” vomit. you wanted to vomit. maybe choking and dying on your vomit would be less embarrassing then this. why on earth was this fuck head calling you his sweetheart. “fuck off.”
you didn’t see him coming. and you certainly didn’t expect his demeanour to snap. but the large hand tangled in your open hair was a big slap in the face to your unreadiness. “you of all people don’t get to talk to me like that. do you know who you’re talking to?” you could hear his perfect porcelain teeth grinding at your words. god this man couldn’t handle an insult. wuss.
“what the hell is your- ow! problem!” you yelped as he dragged you into an alleyway. “you need to learn how to respect your superiors. if you’re nice to me, i can make your life easier. doesn’t it hurt? not being able to fully provide for your family? seeing them struggle? do you really think disrespecting a peacekeeper is going to help? i suggest you straighten your act and thank me for even looking your way. there are plenty of other girls here.”
but he didn’t want those other girls. he wanted you. you with the teary eyes and messy hair. you who he’d been seeing in his dreams and during the day. you with the kind smile and curious eyes. you who were so sweet and pretty but mean when need be. the y/n who was stupid enough to spit such hateful words at a peacekeeper. but he’d teach you. whether it be with words and lessons or actions and bruises. you’d learn your place, by his side and lucy’s, and underneath. but with such fearful, brown doe eyes watering up infront of him, the girl he’d heard oh so much about from lucy. how could he refrain from indulging?
his hand reached out to wipe away the few stray tears that fell as his left extended towards your right, which was clutching your head, where he’d grabbed you. “shh, let me help you.” your hand slowly retracted as your heart ran a marathon. the man was obviously unstable, going from a deceptively caring man to violent. coriolanus smiled at your actions, and it freaked you out. he caressed your scalp in an attempt to soothe, “good girl.” he cooed as your apparent saviour approached.
“sweetie?” lucy called out to you as coriolanus withdrew from your personal space. he walked over to her and she let him. he held her hand and spoke with, love? his voice was soft and comforting, his thumb again caressing the back of her hand as they talked, whispered, plotted? god knows, all you wanted was to leave.
was this your chance?
you tested the waters, slow and calculated movements as lucy nodded in agreement with him. but by the time they were done speaking you’d bolted.
but you sure as hell weren’t getting far with these two on your tail, poor y/n l/n. a little dove trying to spread her wings but they were bound to be clipped.
your feet were throbbing and begging for you to slow down. but your brain was in charge for once, your heart which yearned for your dear songbird pushed to the side as your head screamed and urged you to go. she was in league with him apparently. her seeing him corner you and not even batting an eyelash. did she truly care for you so little? did she want to rid herself of you? she could’ve broken up with you and let that be it. maybe the games had twisted her head.
even as you believed yourself to be gaining distance from the two you could hear the not-so distant steps of determined pursuit, headed your way. how would they kill you? slow and intimate? hasty and brutal?
“if you stop running now we won’t be mad little dove!” lucy shouted in warning as you felt yourself momentarily slow at her words. traitor. you thought to yourself as your body involuntary listened, she still had an affect on you. “she’s right, we love you, we won’t hurt you. unless we have to, don’t give us our reasons.”
“shut up!” you screamed. god, i know we haven’t talked in a while. last minute efforts right? maybe he’d listen to you, save you from your tormentors. you should’ve kept your head clear, focused on running. focused on your surroundings and if you had, you would’ve noticed the nearing tree roots, thick and protruding from the ground, ready to knock you down.
you crawled behind the tree, trying to catch your breath as your hands worked tirelessly to provide some form of relief to your aching ankle.
crack.
you’d been found. you fucked up.
“our little dove, ever the sprinter.”
his words had you lurching forwards in an attempt of fleeing but lucy’s cold hand on your ankle dragged protests and cries from your throat as well as you, back to them. “you should’ve listened before, we would’ve been nice. given you some time to adjust, but you can’t sit and think for a second can you?” coriolanus mocked as his hand trailed up your un-injured leg, “that’s okay, you won’t be doing much thinking from now on. we’ll be taking care of you, since you obviously can’t take care a’ yourself baby.” lucy’s voice was saccharine, like honey, and her smile was even sweeter. the familiarity and comfort of her presence was intoxicating, you felt at peace on one side and the other wanted to jump off a cliff. she lowered your guard and coriolanus slithered right in.
the prick in the side of your neck wasn’t painful, but their words were. “you’re with us now, we’ll take care of you, we promise.” and you were stuck, stuck with them for god knows how long.
you blinked away the sleep in your eyes, adjusting to the room. maybe they had killed you? in their own twisted way they’d keep you forever, in their memories and soul. coriolanus and lucy’s voices swam around your head and blended together. you were wrong. yay.
“it’s a bit early for katniss, even if it’s one of her favourites.”
“she should eat something better.”
“better? don’t go all capitol on me now corio.”
he was smiling, you could tell.
“never lucy gray. but she’ll be weak for a few days, proper meals will help her regain some strength.”
you picked your head up and looked through the window, the lake was evident.
“alright, you go grab it and i’ll stay here.”
“why? so you can get more time with her? if anyone should get extra time it’s me.”
“now who was her partner first? oh that’s right, me. you’re acting as if i’m gonna pick her up and run away. if you’re that scared than we’ll both go. take her with us.”
coriolanus’s head whipped towards the cabin and you quickly flopped back down on the bed. you shut your eyes as you heard the door creak open. “gosh, doesn’t she look pretty?” lucy asked, knowing the answer already. “so calm, i liked her better when she was crying.” lucy hit him, “coriolanus snow!” he stroked the side of your face and you had to resist from turning your head and biting his fingers off.
“little dove.” your eyes opened again, turning your head his way tiredly. “we need to get some supplies okay?” you nodded as lucy went outside to gather the baskets she’d left out earlier on to dry. coriolanus’s hand dug into your cheeks as he forced you to look at him, “i told you i’d make you respect me. now listen, if you try anything when we’re in town i will never let you forget it. you’ll know who you belong to every single day. maybe i’ll pay your family a visit? an appointment with the hanging tree for being rebels? stealing?”
you shook your head violently as you began to cry, “you don’t want that? didn’t think so. you listen to me and everything will be fine. your family will get daily help and weekly groceries. they’ll never go hungry again. all thanks to their sweet little girl. lucy’s too nice, but don’t think for a second she’ll save you from me. you’re mine and if you try anything.” he leaned in to whisper, “i’ll strangle her with my bare hands infront of you.” his words were meant to scare you, and they did. but don’t you know? coriolanus snow doesn’t need a reason to do bad things.
coriolanus was wicked and ruthless when it came to what he wanted, if you had any hope of trying to get through this then you’d need lucy’s attention and help. so you nodded. “words sweetheart.” you swallowed your pride, your dignity, and you shook hands with the devil.
“yes, i’ll do what you say.” he straightened up, his white shirt a contrast to his dark thoughts.
“y’all ready to go?” lucy questioned as coriolanus grinned, “yes, yes we are.” he lifted you up and helped you dress, you hadn’t realised the fact that you were only dressed in his own white shirt, dress to you. he handled you like you were the most delicate object. as if he wasn’t hell bent on breaking you, over and over again. till you were fit to his standards. the captiol standards. the snow standards.
his, his, his.
with how obedient you were, he figured you’d do well in the capitol. which was exactly where he was meaning to bring you.
lucy walked in front of the two of you as you made your way through the woods. coriolanus’s hand was glued to your waist as he held you close, afraid to let go. you were at flight risk of course. his grip was tight and bruising. lucy’s humming distracted you at times, if you were delusional enough you could imagine it to be the two of you. your brothers far infront and the covey following. after an amazing afternoon at the lake, heading home for dinner, maybe a performance or the night shift.
your daydreaming was interrupted when you clocked coriolanus’s missing hand from your waist, and his arm now around lucy grays throat.
don’t you remember? you’d do well in the capitol! you were his! but not entirely, no.
not with her in the way.
you were frozen in place as lucy clawed at him before reaching out for you. a plea, a cry for help and aid yet you stood stuck in fear. a minute, two. she’d put up a strong fight, especially when you ran towards the two, pushing and shoving at coriolanus to let her go. but again, you fucked up.
here lies lucy gray baird, singer, victor, psycho.
obsessed? madly in love? you couldn’t think of another word, and as much as you wished to forget her, forget how she’d practically allowed another man into your relationship and let him kidnap you. her lifeless face and hollow eyes made your heart clench. but soon enough she was rolled over, thrown in a pre-made hole and buried. she’d survived the games but no one survived coriolanus snow.
“don’t forget what i said. don’t forget what you agreed to. you said you’d do as i say, i’m telling you to get up and follow me. we’re leaving district 12.” your face was painted with confusion as coriolanus clutched your face, “i’m going back, and you’re coming with me. don’t ask questions, just do as i say.”
and you did.
when he had you say goodbye to your family, a courtesy, a privilege he’d granted you. you kept it short and sweet, no questions just hugs and false promises of return.
when he ushered you onto the train and he wanted you to sit and be silent, you did.
through his time at the university, he wanted you close to him, living with him. and you did.
through his presidency campaign he wanted for you to charm sponsors and entice newcomers. you did.
when he wanted to marry you in a grand spectacle infront of the captiol and dress you up, you did as he asked.
when he held you down on your wedding night after tearing your dress off, biting and marking you down all over, pushing you down to your knees and took you all over the house, asking you to give yourself to him as if he didn’t take you anyways, you did.
you had no idea why at this point.
for your family? who hadn’t reached out in so long, even when they promised to talk to you every day? coriolanus had them all arrested, punished and hung for inciting riots and uprisings.
for your friends whom listened to your concerns of the capitol peacekeeper who hovered and didn’t make you feel crazy? each of them ended up dead in many different ways, hung, shot, a mugging gone wrong.
you didn’t know at this point and when you looked in the mirror you didn’t recognise the girl who stared back. a captiol sheep, dressed up in the finest silk dresses and slick heels yet the filth underneath the finery, jewels, and makeup weighed you down. each time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you, it felt like a peace of yourself was thrown away.
and as you clutched your swelling stomach, you couldn’t help but feel pity for baby number four.
maybe you’d grow up and find love.
maybe i’ll be able to take you all away from him.
maybe we’ll heal.
you thought, but in the back of your head, a little voice wouldn’t shut up.
you’ll always be his little dove.
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29 / 2.1k / soap soulmate au, part 6
...
Ghost looks up as Soap storms out of the weapons closet.
"Still herself, I take it?" Ghost asks.
"She's a stubborn pain in the ass is what she is."
As expected. Soap misses the dry amusement that crinkles the corners of Ghost's eyes very slightly. "Didn't talk, then," Ghost says.
Soap scowls. "Not a goddamn word we can use. She won't listen to reason. Thinks she can face down an army. Dense, irritating--"
"Strong-willed," Ghost says.
"To a damn fault. Canny see what I'm trying to do for her. I'm-- she's--" Soap can hardly articulate his frustration. He's got this sick feeling in his stomach like he's been kicked in the gut hard enough to make him hurl.
It's not just you being too stubborn to give up the intel. What happens when you’re freed? You’re not going to stick around. What if Graves snaps his fingers and you go right on back to him?
Soap lets out a rough sigh. "There's more than Graves keeping her from talking. I don't like it."
"You've got a plan?" Ghost guesses.
Soap nods. "Aye. I need to talk to Laswell--"
"Done." Ghost produces a beige folder and drops it into Soap's hands. "Had her look into it for you."
"I'll be damned." Soap flips through the pages in the folder. "Christ. Bloody thin file." He fans the pages inside like a flipbook as if checking for extra pages. "Where's the rest of it?"
"Not much there to dig up."
"Then she's gotta be missin' some--" Something catches Soap's eye as he skims through, and he pauses, lingering on a photo.
Hell's fuckin' bells.
"Think that'll help?" Ghost asks.
"I'd wager so."
"Good. You goin' back in?"
"Aye.” Soap folds the file into his jacket and gives Ghost a good-natured fist bump to the arm. Then he brushes past him, knocking into his shoulder.
Ghost grabs Soap’s arm again before he slips past. "We don't have much time. Price wants to move on Alejandro. Says if you can't get the intel, we go in blind. Rodolfo leads."
Soap sets his jaw. "How long?"
"Three hours. Tops." He claps a firm hand on Soap's shoulder and turns to leave. "Get some sleep."
A moment later, the metal grate door slides open. You straighten back up and steel yourself again.
There's something different about the way Soap carries himself this time. He's not wound as tightly. But the way his eyes settle on you is... odd. The shift in his expression puts you on edge.
He sits down across from you. "We've not got much time. If talking gets us nowhere, we'll try something else."
You lean back, mirroring his posture. "You gonna torture me?”
“That what you’re expecting?”
“Maybe. You ever tortured someone before?"
"Aye. Can't say I care for it, but I know how if that's what this takes." He examines you again with that sharp gaze. You don't feel like he's undressing you with his eyes anymore. It's more like he's searching for something. "Why ask? You want me to put my hands on ya?"
You ignore the mental image that imprints. "I want you to waste your time."
Soap smirks. "What I wouldn't give to let you waste my time. You, me, all this animosity between us... I've got a few negotiation techniques I'd very much like to try." He leans back into the chair, his hands folded in his lap with an easy grin. "But you're no' the type to break under pressure."
"Better men than you have tried."
"Tried torturing you?" His grin tightens just slightly. "Anyone I know? Names, locations?"
Your cheeks heat up again. At that, for some reason. "I can take care of myself."
"I know you can."
He produces the thin file and tosses it onto the table between you.
You look down at the papers that slide out. They're grainy and covered in redactions as if printed and bound, pulled from the deep end of some filing cabinet, scanned, rescanned, and printed again. But you glimpse your name. Your real name--the one printed on Johnny's skin, too. Your chest twists and your stomach sinks.
Soap sees the change in you and leans forward, elbows wide. He opens the file and pushes it across the table. "I'll do anything to protect you, darlin'," he says. "But I need information."
The file is everything you don't want anyone to know. But what catches your eye is that photograph. "Who else has seen this?"
"Me and Laswell. Maybe Ghost if he was feelin' nosy. Does Graves know?"
You pull on your cuffs, wanting to reach for the pages and push them away. "Captain Graves said he'd make this disappear."
Soap leans back, broad palm sliding out to touch the edge of the pages, and his expression softens for a moment. "Some things you can’t make disappear."
You look at him, twisted up with pain and anger. "So, what, if I don't talk, you're threatening to expose all this? Is that it? It won't work," you add with false confidence. "Captain Graves knows everything."
"What I want to know," Soap says, voice quiet, "is what he did with it."
"What?"
Soap leans forward again. "Did he threaten you? Did he say he’d make this go away if you worked for him, hold it over your head?"
"No!” you snap. “After this happened, I couldn't-- I was discharged from the military. I couldn't find work. He reached out to me. Said he didn’t mind if I had… history. Then he offered to have it scrubbed if I wanted.” You stare down at the papers. “He never threatened me. He helped me."
Soap lets out a breath. He was prepared to deal with something a lot worse than that. Maybe he hoped for something worse. If Graves were blackmailing you, the solution would be easy. He'd give you protection, offer to have Laswell erase that file from existence instead, CIA-style. After all, if Graves got his claws into you and onto his payroll that way, why couldn't he? Probably got you dirt fucking cheap, too. Bastard.
Part of Soap wants to press that angle. He could tell you Graves never intended to deliver on his side of the deal. But the truth is that Graves would've had little control over this. Seeing the state of the file, Graves likely did what he could to have it redacted, sealed, destroyed--but someone over his head intervened. Shepherd, maybe. There'd be nothing Graves could do.
Soap wants you more than anything, but the pain in your eyes when you look at these documents tears him up inside. He can’t manipulate you that way. Even if he got you to himself in the end, he'd never forgive himself.
"That's... that's good. He protected you." Soap crosses his arms, squeezing his fist hard around the object inside, the one he pickpocketed off Ghost a few minutes ago. Much as he hates Graves, the man kept you safe. But that's his job now.
"I don't care who you tell," you snap, suddenly full of anger and spitting fire. The sight of those pages puts you on edge. You feel like a cornered animal. "I'm not telling you a goddamn thing. Do whatever you want to me. You're no better than--"
"Am no' blackmailin' ya." Soap's expression sours. So much venom in that mouth of yours. He runs his thumb over his tightened knuckles to suppress his own temper. He's amazed at how easy it is for you to get under his skin, how you push all these buttons when he's the one who's supposed to be pulling the strings.
But he realizes how this must seem. You act tough, but you're vulnerable, exposed, and he has every reason right now to drive the knife in and twist it hard. Maybe he should. Going into the Las Almas base blind means danger for his squadmates.
Christ, he’s tired. He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Darlin’, I... I know now you've done things you're not proud of. But that doesn't change anything. Not to me, not to Ghost-- hell, none of us would bat an eye. You don’t need to protect yourself anymore. I need you to talk to me. We're out of time."
He thinks this is about you protecting yourself? You shake your head. "If you’re storming the Las Almas base, you're going up against Shadows. You're asking me to help you kill my own."
"If that matters to you, then tell me how to get to Alejandro without alerting the guards. Nobody has to get hurt."
You scoff, looking away. "There's no way to do that and you know it."
"We don't have to shoot them if they stand down first."
"That's not going to happen. They'll shoot you on sight. It'll be a bloodbath."
"Not for us."
You close your eyes. "I know. That's what I'm worried about."
Soap lets out a frustrated breath. "We're going in whether you talk or not. The blood's on our hands. Not yours."
You keep your gaze angled away, clearly not believing that. "I don't see why you care about security. I don't see why you need intel at all. This is what you're good at, right? This is what 141 does. You break in doors, you kill people."
Soap grips the edge of the table. "The only thing gettin' you out of here is information. I don't care what it is or if it's useful. Price wants intel."
"I don't have it." Your voice is flat and cold. Whatever you can do to make him understand you're not worth the effort.
He leans in and grabs your chin, gently forcing you to look at him. "Then lie to me."
"What?" You stare at him, feeling pinned under that intense gaze. "Are you fucking insane?"
"Might be," A small, sly, half-smile curves his lips. "I'm also desperate, runnin' out of time, and at the end of my rope after starin' at you this long, knowin' I can't have you." He runs his thumb along your cheek. "Maybe I'm bankin' on you losin' your mind before I do."
You swallow. "You'll be waiting awhile."
He smirks. His thumb moves from your cheek to your chin, fingers trailing down the side of your neck. "Do you think you're a good liar?"
Before you can answer, someone bangs on the metal door, rattling it. Price's voice echoes in from outside.
"Get some sleep, Soap," he calls. "We're briefing soon. Give it a rest. We’ll press her for more intel after we’ve got Alejandro back.”
Soap tenses at the sound of Price's voice. "Wasn't planning on sleepin'," he calls back.
"Wasn't a question," Price calls back. You hear him walk away.
Soap withdraws his hand, letting out a soft curse.
"Why would you give your own Captain false information?" you hiss. "You could lose your job. You could get court-martialed. Even if it worked, what if Shepherd finds out? He's still in your chain of command."
"Guess that's a risk I gotta take."
"Then what if I tell you something that gets your teammates hurt, huh?"
"Won't happen. I'll be in the front when things get risky."
"Then how do you expect me to-- if it means you're the one who's--" You huff, words failing you. "You're so goddamn thick."
"Am I? Because here I am, tryin' to make plans and get a read on you, and all you wanna do is piss me off and run your mouth. I'm learnin' a lot." He tilts his head. "In fact, it's startin' to sound like you're worried about me."
"Absolutely not."
"Could always tell me the truth. Extra insurance if you do. Maybe it’ll keep me alive."
"You don't need it," you snap.
"I think I do." He leans in, crossing his legs and folding his arms. "Got a bad feeling about this one. No Shadow worth their salt wouldn’t send us straight to hell if it meant finishing the job. Especially Graves."
You feel another pang of dread in your gut. He's right.
He watches you for another long moment. Neither of you speak.
Finally, he stands, sighing deeply as he goes to the door. "Alright."
"Are you coming back?" The words spill out of your mouth before you can stop them.
He pauses in the doorway. Then he turns back, staring at you like there's something he wants to say. He looks down at the stolen object still clutched in his hand--the key to your cuffs.
He opens the door, slipping through without another word.
...
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / [part 6] / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10
more Soap / masterlist tag
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neteyamsilly · 1 year
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i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 2
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summary ;; Your burning determination to prove your father wrong and Jake's wish to teach you a lesson both end up in a pyrrhic victory. PART 1 | PART 3 pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; im speechlessly overwhelmed at the sheer amount of love you guys showed me these past couple of days. like. literally never had something like this happen to me before. i got too excited to finish this chapter to give back to yall, there was an attempt to proofread but... i hope it's not too bad, please enjoy! as always, if you see any mistakes, im sorry!
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The path further into the floating mountains was all the worse to navigate thanks to the lack of light, the only useful guides you had were the faintly flickering bioluminescent lights from the forest deep below. The branches twisting around each other to create a naturally built bridge from mountain to mountain benefited from this, contrasting as a clear obscured line to your eyes against the glow underneath. 
The easiest part of your journey, in hindsight, was just skipping along this line. 
You weren’t exactly happy about this.  
The more you left behind, the more you were freaked out that Neteyam or anyone else was onto your intentions already and hot on your trail right this moment. Imagining father making a beeline to you in the air with Bob, a cruel, merciless whistling arrow, made you all jittery and almost puking kind of nervous, pulling at the depths of your stomach. 
Your rationality told you that it was a half an hour walk to your spot from the tent, and Neteyam would be hurrying the more he thought he wasn’t able to catch up with you along the way, so you had around twenty minutes until the whole family was panicking and raising the clan to look for you. 
Tuk had gone missing once thanks to some hide and seek game with Lo’ak (she’d hidden so well and was waiting for her siblings to find her already, blindly sticking to the game for an entire day, not out of stubbornness but childish purity), and this was exactly what had gone down —
the resentful part of you questioned if father thinks of you highly enough to resort to that. 
If something happened to you, he would maybe urge your brothers to search for you for a while, and drop it then — leaving you to your own devices happily. 
Maybe. 
Were you even worth it in his eyes for a search party? You wondered if he cared enough that you disappeared. 
But that was a stupid, childish thought you knew you fantasized about a lot — perhaps this was why he’d called you immature. This was no mindset for a strong, independent, confident hunter. The thought father was right, even a miniscule bit was bitter on your tongue, worse than what he called black coffee. 
Disappearing so you’d find out just how much he cared was unfair to mom, for one. 
She had lost so much in such a short amount of time, the stories she sang poignantly about were hard to listen to without tearing up. Her home. The trees of voices, all the lost ancestors. Her father. Uncle Tsu’tey. Her first ikran, Seze. Loss upon loss you think there’d be nothing left to give anymore, but sky people’s fire was always hungry, always willing to waste more to grow bigger. 
You wouldn’t forgive yourself for making her cry in your pursuit to punish father. Never. 
You weren’t a child.
Just wanted to be one, sometimes.
Wanted father to babytalk you, pet your head longer than a passing touch as he walked away hurriedly to attend to other matters, make beads for your braids the way he always did from pretty stones he found on ponds, carve you little trinkets when you graciously had to give up your toys to Lo’ak and Kiri’s greed. 
Your neck piece was all them in fact, he’d see it if he ever paid enough attention, or perhaps it was all insignificant to him, five kids meant countless belongings for each individual child had been passed down from his hands, it would be a miracle for father to recognize you still wore his clumsy creations. But again, it had been too long since he’d even looked at you affectionately, he wouldn’t See. 
He’d transferred those habits entirely to Neteyam at one point in time. 
Your older brother would always ruffle Lo’ak’s hair and tease him the way father used to, comfort him in his own playful way, and even though the younger looked discontent at being babied, you knew he was happy Neteyam was quite literally his shadow to look after him through tough times — including shielding from father’s line of fire. In return, he was suffering from being a foil to the older son, you understood the struggle because you were going through the same comparison, you just weren’t obsessed with catching and living up to father as much as Lo’ak did. 
Win some, lose some, I guess.
Plus, Neteyam was trembling under the massive planet-weight pressure, he had to set the standard, he had to live up to the older brother title. He was becoming more of a father figure to Tuk as days passed and the Olo’eyktan became more transparent from his family’s life as a dad to five. 
Besides, Lo’ak made trouble enough for two people to go around that you felt bad for your big brother, Kiri was thankfully more mellow (despite frequently hanging out together with him and Spider) compared to him that Neteyam could breathe, not having to divide his attention. 
You were in awe of her about how disconnected she was from all the changing dynamics. She had her own problems you could never understand, more spiritual than your grandmother, and ever the ethereal soul who you thought would disappear into Eywa if flesh wasn’t holding her down to Eywa’eveng.
You were the teeniest, tiniest bit jealous of her (and Tuk) holding the softer sides of father, the boys thought he was deliberately softer because they were girls — but you were also a girl, so why weren’t you allowed in?   
Well, thanks to that, you’d gotten closer with Neteyam and known him better after the whole clan had settled on High Camp, so it wasn’t all that bad. You could badmouth father all day long sitting on some rock and make him laugh abashedly, guilty that he was smiling along with the trashing of the father’s name he respected so much — it was therapy, as Norm had taught humans frequently sought back on earth. It got you trying some things with Neteyam, becoming more of a companion and ranting buddy for him who he could be honest and open with, so that he didn’t have to worry about taking up a larger role in your life to fill father’s missing presence. You were concerned about him more than he could be concerned about you. 
That got you contemplating if father had noticed how comfortable his two oldest children were with each other that it was always Neteyam who he sent after you. A girl could dream, no? For one moment, it wasn’t because it was Neteyam’s responsibility, but because father was paying attention to how his kids got along.
The image of him pushed you to be frantically fast to reach your destination as the fear returned with might. If he caught you right now when you had no ikran to prove him wrong, the punishment he was sure to give would be way more humiliating, you at least wanted something in your name to taunt him with if you were going down anyways. 
A smile crept up your face at imagining him discombobulated and speechless, unable to pick out one thing that you did wrong. 
The carelessness that came with your speed combined with how dark it was to see where to clutch and put your feet on caused you to slip up countless times when climbing, the sharp rocks scraping the insides of your palms and insides of your forearms, lifting your skin up. What you cared about more than the pain was that the blood was now tracking material for your family to sniff you out — you couldn’t exactly wipe the rocks clean, so you carried on with a hammering heart, more afraid of father ruining your perfect moment than whatever ikran that would soon be going straight for your throat. 
At least you were able to wash the blood off your hands in the waterfall. 
Downside? You couldn’t see shit. With your bare back flushed straight to the wall of rock and your feet feeling out the thin edge, the shrill cry of ikrans and the roaring of water was about to overwhelm your senses too much to pay attention — 
and you slipped. 
The shriek that ripped out of you at the sensation of falling and the drop of your stomach alone almost made you pass out, and for a split second it was a good thing that you wouldn’t feel the moment you died, but your body, once again, was one step ahead of you, it twisted in the air the last second and your hands gripped the ledge. 
The wet rock and your blood made all that your life was hanging on slippery as you dangled into the abyss, swaying with the strong winds at this height. 
You didn’t know if it was the adrenaline or the nervousness, but something made you laugh out loud, and the bubbling laughter continued until you were able to pull yourself up safely at the ikran rookery, finally. 
Looking around like a fish out of water, how you hadn’t cracked your skull open shooting down to the forest below was a total miracle. 
You’d made it?  
No one was there to witness what you just pulled off in total darkness. Your whole body was shaking, and you weren’t even chosen by an ikran yet. This was happening. Shit. This was totally happening! 
Your excited and terrified, “Hell yeah!” went unheard apart from your aerial crowd. 
But. 
One among them answered your holler with its own that cut into the night like a battle horn. It was the closest one to you that was apparently watching you the whole time, starting to roar at you and twitching on its feet, shadow in the night informing you of its movements.
You’d seen from Neteyam and Lo’ak’s iknimayas that you only had a few seconds to pull your shit together until it attacked, this was meant to be dangerous, serious, you could end up as a late night snack to them if things went wrong, but you couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear that it had chosen you.
You were chosen. 
It wanted you as its rider. 
If only father could see you now. The sensation of being the one — being special was unmatched. Now you could somehow get the fraction of the high he must have felt as Toruk Makto.  
The, “Let’s fucking go!” that left you kept echoing into the night as you lunged at it, dodging to the left when it snapped at your head, hooking one arm around the ikran’s slender neck and clamping your legs around it the moment it started thrashing around wildly. 
You didn’t know why father had made a big deal out of it. You formed tsaheylu in no time, breaking Neteyam’s record — and you didn’t even have the rope to hoop around its neck and jaw. 
Firstborn daughter excellence. 
Confidence restored and triumphing wildly to the pulse of your heart, the flickering smile on your face in wonder turned into a full-fledged smirk. At that moment, nothing mattered. It was just you and your victory. Proving father wrong. 
Feeling the ikran’s lifeforce through the bond, a shiver went down your back as his beady eye looked up at you, pupil shrinking and expanding rapidly while you both took a minute to catch your breaths after the fierce wrestling. 
“Gotcha,” you panted. “You’re mine now.”
The adrenaline made everything sparkle and shine, your spirits soaring high and unbothered about literally anything else in the world, and for one glorious moment, lost in the memories of your brothers’ iknimayas boasting with cheers from the clan and sometimes encouraging, sometimes fearful screams of your parents, your spirit sought them out to be soaked in the same pride — forgetting that it was night and nobody was there to celebrate you. 
You were all alone. 
The smile dropped from your face and crashed down like paper thin porcelain upon the slightest movement. 
Right. 
You’d forgotten you were doing this out of spite. It snuffed every twinkle of magic away from the previously shimmering milestone of your life. 
Your ikran felt the crushing disappointment through your connection and chirped at you, almost like an excited sibling pulling on your arm to show you something, weirdly comforting. Mom’s ikran was a spitfire, but also nurturing — this one felt different somehow, you felt him bouncing from wall to wall in your head, hyperactive and cheerful.
Flying! He wanted to fly! 
The first flight sealed the bond, after all. 
You weren’t alone even if none of your family members were here to share the joy — you had your new buddy. And the drop of gravity was thrilling this time, not the terrifying chaos that had your asshole shriveling up as it was when you’d missed your step. 
The flights with mom were something you looked forward to, drying up in frequency as you aged, you’d missed the wind on your body and the greenery dancing below as you maneuvered in the air — but mom reserved nighttime rides for father only, and after the move to High Camp, the skimpering chance you could get your way if you begged cutely enough was gone too. You’d never flown at night. 
The sight was out of this world. The stars leaving a glowing trail above you, the forest pulsing with faint purple, green and blue lights underneath, everything was elevated in beauty because darkness let them shine. 
You made loops in the air with your ikran, got as high in the air as you could before your breath thinned, and scraped at the tips of trees before shooting up again, all the while laughter you’ve never screamed before bubbled out of you. 
And you were all alone. There was no mom to gleefully taunt your ikran with hers to get both of you dancing in the air. There was no father to watch on with a small smile he was fighting. There was no Neteyam to stop you from dipping too close to the ground, and no Lo’ak to challenge you to get closer to race with him — no Kiri to complain how all of you were being so childish, how stupid this was all the while she was the worst of you all, instigating all the chaos. 
No Tuk in your mom’s lap whining about you guys leaving her off the fun. 
Instead, there was the scent of a bogey in the air, snapping you out of the haze of sorrow.
When had you ventured out further into unprotected territory? 
Linked with your thought process, the ikran stopped advancing forward and started beating his wings downward to stay unmoving, you observed the surroundings to get a better feeling of where you were, and noticed this was around the old shack, artificial lights were gliding between the leaves and branches that obscured your view of just who was roaming the grounds at night, definitely not a natural part of the forest’s flora.    
Father’s voice materialized in your head, drilled into you and your siblings’ heads over and over again. If you come across any threat at all, do not engage, fall back and inform me. Got it? You call for me first.
And that split second of being afraid was your death sentence — that father would be so angry at you for your ignorance, amateurism, carelessness and idiocy that he could throw you out of the family for almost leading the demons to base simply by being there that they could figure out what direction you’d come from. That moment of weakness was enough for someone to snipe you out, and get you falling down from your ikran straight into the forest below, the cries of your new friend falling silent on your ears as you did your best to hug giant leaves to cushion your fall to the best of your ability. . 
 Barely any time was left for you to shake the disorienting motion sickness off, you couldn’t even attempt to run into the accepting, protective hands of the forest before whoever just shot at you was onto you, harshly gripping your arms and raising you up. 
Father’s gonna be so mad if he finds out. Shit, I gotta get out of this. 
But… Avatars? In full camo, armored, even. You hadn’t heard of this from anybody in camp!
“Damn! Didn’t actually think you’d be able to land the shot from all of that tree, man! Up-top!”
Two of them high-fived, you were actually going to be sick. 
Thumb between his belt and stomach, another Avatar strutted towards you. The saunter and confidence meant that he was their leader. “Now, now… What do we have here?”
“A native.” You were being pushed down on your knees, one hand being grabbed and shown like a trophy. Just how many were there? You couldn't calm yourself enough to focus! “Four fingers.”
The speaker this time was a woman. “How unusual. Those monkeys don’t leave their coven at night.” 
“Where were you flying, little bird?” The leader, a sleazy smirk on his face, leaned down to take a good look at you. “Leading away from the nest, perhaps?”
“She don’t understand, Colonel, don’t bother. Ya think Sully could ever manage teaching one word of English to those?”
“Watch how she learns in three seconds.” He yanked on your queue so hard you saw white light in this hour of darkness — and when your vision came back, a screen with your father’s face was being shoved to your face. “Jake Sully. Toruc Mactoe. Where is he?”
You screamed when he pulled with increasing strength, keeping up with the act you didn’t understand. And the state of pain and terror massively helped, contributing to you looking frantic and lost, only knowing that you were being zapped to your core. 
“Seems like I don’t need to ask you.” His fingers snapped your head back to get a good look at your earpiece, late to notice you had it on at all because of the dark. “Can directly ask the man himself.” 
All you could form to think was, ‘Father’s gonna kill me for this. He’s actually gonna kill me this time.’
You weren't terrified of what the Avatars would do to you. You were afraid of him.
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One empty shell from the reloaded machine gun flew away, tinkling hollow when it fell down, and rolled until it stopped in a small pool of water that had formed on the jagged ground of the cave systems. In the scarlet and orange glow of the campfire he’d haphazardly put together right outside of their home out of impatience after Neytiri had basically thrown him out, Jake almost mistook the liquid for blood. 
An ominous cloud of dread settled on his shoulders, a paranoia every father tended to go through.
“Big Brother, this is Devil Dog. State your status, over.”
Neteyam didn’t miss a beat to answer, thankfully. “Devil Dog, this is Big Brother. I’m still en route to Foxcove, over.”
“How much longer?”
“Ten minutes at best, sir. Over.”
What he wanted to say was how come he hadn’t met you halfway, but it was empty talk. No need to stress the boy out. “Devil Dog signing out.”
This girl was half the reason for the wrinkles on his forehead, Jesus Christ. He was basically waiting you out like a father sitting in the dark to ambush his daughter who had snuck out at night, for that single glorious moment of yeah that’s right, you got caught, after the light would come on to ruin that moment of relief of successfully making it back in. 
His mate had scolded him to be nice and understanding, a Marine was anything but, the closest he could compromise was not being as mean to you than he had to be. Sassing, “So how was your Iknimaya?” like he planned was out the window — Neytiri was spot-on to say the girl would simply give the same mean energy right back at him, and that could only mean another erupting volcano of a fight and a good night’s sleep ruined for him, overthinking where he went wrong and how else he could have salvaged the situation. 
He’d just make you tend to the ikrans for a week for some patience practice, cleaning shit for hours on a daily basis would certainly throw the temporary whim of the rite of passage hyperfixation out of your system. The possibility of you shouting you hated him was unavoidable, but Jake had to get his point across, no matter how terribly it nauseated him to hear something like that from his child. 
It was strange to remember he couldn’t care less for what people thought of him in the past. Some shithead he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about hated Jake’s guts? Good. He was living in their head rent free, it was fun even — Neytiri too, Jake absolutely enjoyed her hating game at first. 
Being legitimately resented by his very own child, though, was a heartbreak he didn’t expect to hurt him the way it did, knocking air off his lungs the first time he heard it. A burning stab right in his heart that wouldn’t go away until he had to hear it for himself you hadn’t meant any of what you said.
Because that said hate actually stemmed from hurt Jake must have inflicted. Because you could actually despise him, and never allow him to reconnect with you again if he could ever manage to garner the courage to reach out to you — a mightier challenge than hunting Toruk in the sense it actually scared him.   
His teenage daughter. Scared him. 
Jake didn’t know what to do about it, he couldn’t even show what exactly this made him feel, too ashamed and proud for it in the first place. 
The growing distance between you and him was an uneasy, frightened bird he tried to shush and calm in his heart in favor of other pressing matters that drilled small holes in the depths of his stomach, and over time, those little holes had fused together to create one big pit with greater gravitational pull than the sun — until Jake didn’t know how to stitch them back together anymore. 
He told himself he would talk to you later, for sure. The morning after every argument, every fight, every jab from you he snapped at he would try to make amends for, definitely. 
And then he didn’t. 
“What is this, are you palulukan ambushing prey? I told you to make up with her, not prepare for hunting.”
Jake shook his head, dropping the machine gun back inside the crate. The warmed metal was some sort of consolation to his nerves. Marine habit. Always felt safer with a gun near. (Or was it the American in him?) “Neytiri,” he acknowledged, bobbing his head. “I’m just passing time.”
“What do you think will happen when she comes back and sees you waiting for her like this?”
Ah, like the old times when Jake couldn’t do one thing right in her eyes. “Yes, ma’am,” he said playfully, but with no mirth behind it, closing the crate with a muffled thunk. With nothing to do with them, one elbow went to his knee and the other hand’s fingers started a rhythm on the lid he’d just shut. 
His mate’s hand gingerly came down on his shoulder, kneading the nerves. “Just talk to her, Ma’Jake.”
“I don’t know how to,” he admitted, he covered her fingers on her shoulder with his, and she immediately held his hand back. “Don’t know what to even tell her.” He gave an exhale from the deeper, tired parts of his soul, gazing at the path leading away from their tent. “With Neteyam and Lo’ak, it’s easy. I tell ‘em what to do and they—”
Neytiri took a seat next to him, gathering their hands together. “Suffer just the same.” Jake was about to brush her off, but she didn’t relent. “What you’re doing is hurting them.”
This now was about all of their children rather than you, specifically. Neytiri was trying to get him to see the bigger picture first before moving to cover what he did wrong with each child of his, they had had this conversation countless times before. 
Here we go again, Jake thought.
“Doesn’t matter if that’s what it takes to keep them safe.”
“Does it?” Neytiri leaned in, and calmness washed over him despite the disturbing nature of what she was saying. “Does it keep them safe? Or push them to act out more, get in worse situations?”
He grimaced. “I have to—”
“You feel like you have to.” His mate shook their clasped hands, rattling his bones. “I keep my children safe with trust and honesty. Transparence, Ma’Jake. So that they listen to me when I mean it because they See me. You shut them out.” Her lips bared to show her pearly teeth as she was practically beseeching him. “You don’t get your children’s trust by treating them like a squad.”
“They trust me plenty.”
“They trust Olo’eyktan. Toruk Makto. What about their father?”
“I make sure they’re safe.” Neytiri dropped his hands with an agitated snarl, she thought they were back at the beginning again, he couldn’t make her truly understand no matter what he did. He poured his heart out through their tsaheylu everytime, but her values and beliefs were wired so differently from his at the end of the day. “I make sure they stay where I want them to stay for their own good.” Jake shook his head, his voice soft, hushed. No force behind it when Neytiri was heated in return. “One day they’ll understand.”
“They won’t if you never tell them.”
“Tell them what?” Jake asked. “That I’m being harsh on them to prepare them for war? You think they’ll take it seriously after this?”
“Na’vi were in war long before you. There will be wars after you. No parent sullied his child’s happiness for the price of becoming a warrior. You still don’t get our ways even after all these years.” 
“The sky people’s way,” Jake emphasized with his arms. “I have to teach them how they think, what they go through, so they know what they’ll be facing, okay? I can’t simply teach them by telling them.”
“You’re deluding yourself, Jake. Contradicting.” Neytiri was gentle in her cruelty, the flickering flames burned less than her amber eyes. “Tuk and Kiri are getting none of this. I know your heart isn’t allowing you. Why can’t you do the same for your other children?”
Because he had gone too far already with the older three. 
Trial and error. 
He couldn’t take back the things he did and say back — and quite honestly? Jake was being pulled from all sides to sit down and rethink his parenting. All he thought anymore was how to protect his family, frequent nightmares of losing his children in gruesome ways were haunting his every step. 
A father protects his children, that’s what gives him meaning. 
Jake had his own desperate ways to do so.  
He opened his mouth to say something back, anything, but was interrupted by the communication line coming on. “Dad.” 
Jake immediately knew something was wrong, body sitting ramrod straight. If the frantic breathing and barely controlled voice wasn’t any indication of it, his eldest’s behavior was. Neteyam didn’t slip up in the codenames like Lo’ak did, dropped all formalities only when he was borderline panicking.  
“Dad. I’m sorry, dad, sir, I can’t find her, dad, I’ve looked everywhere around here, I thought maybe she was hiding underwater, behind rocks—but I can’t, I can’t—.”
“Slow down.” Jake could barely contain his own panic rising from the state his son was in. The boy wasn’t able to see it, but he couldn’t stop himself from leaning in as if Neteyam was right in front of him, and started gesturing with his hand. “Slow down, son.”
“Dad—”
Jake tsk-ed. “Neteyam, slow. Slow.”
Neytiri took his elbow. “What is it?”
He told her to wait with his gaze, and turned his attention back to Neteyam. This could only mean one thing, he was praying to be wrong — needed clarification. “Now tell me calmer. What’s going on?”
“She’s never been here. She never came here in the first place. There’s no sign of her. No trace. I’ve tracked.”
Jake’s instant response was fear. Domineering, ice-cold, cutting fear. Bodily and emotionally both. You were clockwork, similar to him in having unchanging routines and patterns. Angry? Went for a walk. Depressed? No talking to anyone until it passed. Happy? Wanted to go to the forest to spend time with your siblings and always craved sweet fruit. Didn’t want to be around anyone? Hid in the little bioluminescent cove with a pond two little mountains away, always. Always.  
Neytiri sensed this, observing the change of demeanor in him.“Ma’Jake?”
“Okay, son.” He seized back control. One missing child was enough. “Stay right there and don’t move. I’ll contact you.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Jake,” Neytiri hissed finally, at the end of her ropes.
“She didn’t go to the cove,” he said, face icy neutral as always, but his eyes showed dizzying concern. Neytiri put a hand on her mouth as Jake wasted no time in changing channels. “Night Owl, this is Devil Dog. Come in.” He couldn’t even wait two seconds before trying again. “Night Owl, what is your status? Where are you?” 
Silence.
The more fear dug deeper into his skin, the more his anger and annoyance soared up, his tail was whipping the air erratically, the finger on the earpiece could send the metal right into his brain with how hard he was pressing on it. “I know you can hear me. This is no time for playing games. You know what you did to your brother? Do you know how panicked he was, not being able to find you—” 
Then Jake remembered what Neytiri advised, he didn’t change strategies because she was right next to him to dig his eyes out, but because his heart was picking up its pace by the second. “Tell me where you are, I’ll leave you alone, I promise, alright? If you’re somewhere open, get to safety, I’m only asking this from you. Or else—”
“Don’t.” Neytiri raised a warning finger at him, voice just above a whisper so they could hear their daughter if she decided to cut in. “Threaten her.”
He couldn’t stop her from snatching the communication device off of him. “Ma’ite, it’s mom. Can you talk to me at least?”
His ears twitched at picking up on you responding, not quite making out the words.  
Jake’s eyes shut close for a long time as his whole eyebrow line migrated upwards, he physically had to get a few steps between him and the earpiece so the obliviating worry that’d almost blinded him wouldn’t cause him to say something he’d greatly regret later. He could feel himself deflating. A migraine could be coming anytime soon.
You wouldn’t even acknowledge his existence but the moment your mother interrupted, you did? Fine. Fine. He didn’t care. Jake could live with it. At least you were alive.
A rippling shudder shook him the moment that thought hit him, an image of you lying dead in a ditch, pale blue, flashing in his mind, he had to run a hand down his face. 
When Jake looked back, irked by the silence, he found Neytiri standing completely stock-still. And all of a sudden, her petrifying glare was on him, ears pinned all the way back, hands gradually starting to tremble. 
“Neytiri?” 
She wordlessly handed him the device, and with a deep frown, Jake put it back in his ear. 
“Hi there Corporal, you hear me? Yeah, I know you do. As much as I’m charmed by the fatherly love I could give you a big old sloppy wet kiss, we have unfinished business.”
And the ground disappeared right under Jake’s feet, plunging him into hell itself.
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envy-of-the-apple · 27 days
Note
Hihihihi!! Happy Belated Bday!!!! I hope you had a good day 💗
Just wanna say again I love ya writing 🤍 Question for the Naha AU, Would the Naga hatchlings be able to speak English since they grew up around reader? And do you think Satoru and Suguru would develop more speech the longer they’re around reader?
Could y’all maybe stop giving me ideas for the naga au??? This isn't very nice
Top of the Food Chain pt 3
Part One Part two
(Dark!naga!Satosugu x reader)
(Warnings: implied forced relationship, yandere, dark content etc etc)
"I saw a shark today."
That certainly caught your attention.
"I'm sorry, you what?"
"Triangle fins, sharp teeth," Nobara casually continues, "a shark."
You move, more worried than upset. "Did it attack you? Are you okay?"
You glance down at her body. In just a few years, she'd grown to be slightly smaller than you. In terms of looks, she's resembles a human pre-teen. Compared to her brothers, she looks more human too. Her hair can hide the fins that protrude where her ears should be. Her eyes are more human, rounder. If it weren't for her tail, swishing in the water behind her, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
"We did fight." Nobara grins. Sharp teeth, just like her fathers'.
"Not funny," you reply.
"We did! Can you guess who won? I'll give you a hint: she's right in front of you."
She manages to pull a laugh out of you. You shake your head at her, more exasperated than anything else.
"No more fighting any more sharks," you tell her, but when she grins wider, you know she won't listen.
In human years, she's barely an infant. In Naga years, she's barely a teenager. Yet, she's so independent. Nobara started hunting for herself as soon as she started staying in the water around the clock. Not even Yuji and Megumi became this hands-off, despite both being larger than her.
It's probably why you had a soft spot for her. You'd never admit this to the other two hatchlings, but Nobara was your favorite (and you had a feeling she knew it, too). She resembles you in a way. Different, from the rest of the group. A bit isolated. It doesn't help that neither of her fathers seemed to be interested in her as soon as she started venturing into the water. You can count the number of times they've visited her on your hand. And you were pretty sure it had more to do with the fact you were with her, rather than Nobara herself.
She was alone. Much like you are.
The siren hums, giving you a small 'aye captain', which causes you to laugh again. Despite how uncaring she appeared, you were certain Nobara liked it when you worried for her. Cared about her. You just wished she wouldn't go to extremes just to get your attention.
Her expression brightens just then. Her tail swishes, creating small waves as she rises up. You were a few feet away, right at the bank, looking down at her as she wiggled.
"Oh! I found more human things!" She excitedly told you.
"Did you?" you ask, tilting your head, smiling.
There's a nod, before she's diving down, disappearing into the depths. She comes back up to the surface a few minutes later, depositing a few trinkets onto the bank.
It's your fault for instilling such a curiosity for humans. She was the first to pick up your tongue, practically a native speaker by the time she started to swim. Because of her ability to venture into the ocean, she started picking up strange objects, returning back to you. You and her would sit for hours, sifting through the stuff she brought. Her fascination with humankind thrilled you. You were always more than willing to share your knowledge with Nobara.
"What are they?" she asks in pure fascination.
"Hm, let's see," you reply, looking through the stuff.
It was a rather small haul. You didn't mind. She's found a couple of interesting things today.
"Oh, a claw clip," you note, picking the plastic contraption with both hands, "you use this to hold your hair, to get it out of your face."
It's pretty. Cheap looking, but ultimately pretty. You like the designs. It's a pretty color too. Periwinkle.
Nobara looks at the hair ornament with wonder.
"A claw clip." She tries.
"Here, I'll show you. Turn around." You tell her.
She does as she's told, swishing in the water. You lean over the bank, grabbing her beautiful hair. You needed to be careful. Nagafolk have more sensitive hair than yours but she doesn't seem to mind your fumbling. When you're finished adjusting the clip, you ask her to look at her reflection in the water.
"Well?" you ask.
"Wow," she gushes, "I look so cute!"
You laugh, light and airy. She beams at you, and for a moment, she looks like a kid, with no sharp teeth, no desire to go shark hunting.
"What else?" she asks, moving back to the bank.
You hum, picking up the book next. It was soggy from all the time it had spent in the water. You could somewhat make out what was on the title. But the ink on the inside was completely ruined.
"Books don't do well in water," you tell her with a pitied smile, "sorry."
She frowns but urges you to explain the last object. You'd been purposefully saving it for last. In a strange way, it was sentimental to you.
"A camera," you explain, "you can use it to take pictures."
"Pictures?" Nobara echoes.
"Remember those photographs you found last week? Pictures and photographs are the same thing." Nobara nods at your explanation.
She takes the camera from your fingers, examining it.
"We can get pictures from this?" She asks, and you can't help but note the excitement in her tone.
"Not from this camera no," you tell her, "Human technology and water don't mix."
She huffs. Her expression oddly reminds you of Suguru's whenever Satoru did something disappointing. She truly was her father's daughter.
"That's stupid," she finally tells you and you have to throw your head up and laugh. Your shoulders shake. You can catch a hint of a smile from her before she goes back to examining the camera.
It's cheap, one of those disposable ones you'd find at the check-out aisle at a grocery store. It was a hassle to take care of, working with the film, taking it to someone who could turn it into something visual. You knew that because-
"-We took a camera just like this for our trip," you start, "We were supposed to take pictures of every island that we visited. Something we could have taken home with us."
The cruise. The explosion. You washing up on this hellhole of an island. It felt like years ago, but how long ago was it? You'd already lost your sense of time.
"Mom?"
You glance up. Her eyes are thoughtful, staring you down. Too wide, you can't help but think. Her eyes are too wide to be human. Because she isn't human. She wasn't one of you.
"If you could, would you leave?"
It takes you a moment to process her words. You can't formulate a response, not quickly enough. This should be the time when you become the adult she's looking for. When you coddle her and assure her that you will never leave her.
When you open your mouth, nothing comes out.
The reason why Nobara was your favorite, was because she was a lot more smarter than you.
Her eyes flick down. Her hands, still holding the camera, grip tighter threatening to break-
Then, she straightens herself. Posture righted, angled, taut. Her fins flare out before flattening. She could smell them coming.
You, on the other hand, heard them before you saw them.
A breaking of twigs, a silent hiss. You expect it, yet you still flinch when a clawed hand rests on your shoulder.
You can feel yourself deflate. Times up.
In front of you, Nobara frowns, unimpressed. You can feel Satoru nuzzle his face into your neck. Suguru is clicking something to the hatchling. In turn, her face curls into a sneer. She hisses something back.
You hate it when they do this, ignore you in favor of speaking a language you'd never understand. Satoru and Suguru would always gleefully leave you out. Nobara, however, was far more accommodating.
"What's he saying?" You ask her.
She huffs, crossing her arms and looking away.
"He asked if I took you out to the open ocean."
You glance at Suguru, hoping your face is as disapproving as you feel. Suguru meets your gaze, a silent challenge.
"Did you?" A new voice comes.
Yuji appears first out of the foliage with a bright smile and wide eyes. He's followed by his second oldest sibling. Megumi gives a slight warning hiss when his youngest sibling almost barrels him over.
"I didn't!" Nobara insists, glaring at Yuji. He only grins back, glinting his sharp fangs. Smile of a predator, you think to yourself.
"Nothing like that happened." You turned to Suguru, "We just stayed here. I never left."
It was a promise to both of them, one you hope none of the hatchlings heard. Or at least, paused enough to decipher.
Yuji and Megumi slither up to greet you despite you still being trapped in Satoru's hold. The larger naga huffs, not happy with the sudden attention you're receiving. You ignore Satoru, smiling when Megumi briefly touches your arm in affection. Yuji gently leans down to bump foreheads.
"I don't get why you two had to come along," Satoru says, his tone light, but you can still sense the annoyance. His hold over you becomes ever so slightly constricting. Even all these years, and he's still terrified of you being taken away.
They both are, even when Suguru tries to deny his paranoia.
Yuji pouts at his father's words. He turns to you.
"You were gone forever." He whines. "We got worried."
When Megumi glances away, you know he shares the sentiment. It's nice to know that despite their reptilian features, you could still instill a semblance of humanity within these three.
"I didn't mean to scare you," You say, not just talking to the hatchlings, "I wanted to spend time with Nobara for a bit. Look at the things she brought!"
You mention to the human artifacts. In response, Suguru picks up the camera with sharp claws. Neither Suguru nor Satoru had ever been interested in the things humanity tossed on their shores.
The boys follow in their father's footsteps. Yuji only nods, Megumi doesn't even bother giving a response. No matter how hard you tried, only Nobara was truly interested in human culture.
To prove your point, she hisses, her fins flattening to the sides when Suguru handles the camera too roughly for her taste.
"Careful!" She warns. "Don't break it."
An amused smile before Suguru tosses the camera in her direction. She catches it just before it hits the water, still scowling. He doesn't react to your look of disapproval. Satoru laughs, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
Suguru titters something in her direction. Nobara hisses. Yuji and Megumi also stiffen. You fight the urge to sigh. You don't need a translator to know what he's saying.
"Megumi, Yuji," you call, "stay with your sister for a bit, please? Your fathers and I need to talk for a bit."
Yuji's more than happy to dive into the water with his sister. She squabbles with him, dunking his head under the water in an attempt of casual drowning. Megumi's the one who hesitates. You've always thought he knew more than he let on.
You give him an encouraging smile.
"Go on."
You wait until their heads dip underwater. Then, you wait a few moments more, prolonging the inevitable.
"You shouldn't scare them like that." You finally say, not looking at either of them. "They're just kids."
"She's old enough to understand the dangers of you being in the water," Suguru responds.
"Of course she is, but she doesn't need constant reminders." You're not arguing. You're not arguing. "They—the hatchlings—don't need to see me as weak."
"But you are." Satoru playfully says. As if to prove it, he curls his hands around your hips and waist, easily hoisting you into his arms. You knew better than to struggle, reluctantly putting your arms around his neck.
"I know my own weaknesses. They don't need to coddle me. I get that enough from you two."
Satoru shrugs, burying his head back into your neck, soaking in your warmth.
"In any case," Suguru continues his earlier conversation. You watch as he glides over, a clawed arm caressing your shoulder, "you shouldn't be out with her for so long. The boys will start to notice your favoritism sooner or later."
You frown at his words. "I'm not playing favorites. At least Megumi and Yuji have each other. Nobara's out here all alone."
Nobara had fully developed her gills when she was just a year old. The more she spent her time out in the ocean, the more worried you got for her loneliness.
Suguru hums at your words, tracing your legs.
"She won't be lonely for long. Aren't the females migrating this season, Satoru?"
The other naga nods. "Yeah, this new moon. She'll make plenty of friends in the open ocean."
You blink at Satoru's words, trying to sit up from his embrace. He just huffs in annoyance, gripping you tighter.
"She—Nobara's leaving?" You ask.
Suguru smiles, enjoying your naivety.
"Of course, my love. All hatchlings do. Soon enough, Megumi and Yuji will go out and scout their own territories. Don't human young leave their parents once they're old enough?"
They do. You have. But in human years, Nobara, Megumi, and Yuji are still toddlers. In naga years, they're barely teenagers. To you, they're still babies. They're so young. Would they be able to fend for themselves out there?
Nobara asked if you could leave, would you. Maybe she wasn't just asking for your sake.
"If anything, that's good for us!" Satoru exclaims. "The caves' getting too crowded. It'd be nice to finally get to stretch out again."
Suguru nods in agreement. When you don't share their joy, he leans down to your eye level.
"You'll miss them, hm?" He asks.
You nod. There's no need to lie. He laughs at your honesty, kissing your cheek.
"I'm sure they'll visit from time to time," he assures, "hatchlings don't typically have any sentiment for their parents, but I'm sure the three will make an exception for you."
"Besides," Satoru pipes in. "The nest won't be empty for too long."
You look up at him in mild alarm.
"What do you mean by that?"
Suguru gives his mate a soft smile.
"This was our first mating season," he explains, "a success, I'd like to call it. We'll have many more sets of hatchlings in the future."
They both peer down at you. Eyes turn to slits. Purple and blue.
"And you'll be a wonderful parent to all of them. Just like you were to our first three."
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spider-stark · 1 month
Text
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INFINITELY YOU
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part three // spitfire
SUMMARY - In every universe, Peter Parker seems destined to fall in love with you. And, in every universe, he realizes it too late. When universes collide and two of them are granted a second chance at rectifying their biggest mistake, neither of them are willing to let the opportunity go to waste–even if you end up not being the person they thought you were.
WARNINGS - 18+, minors DNI
WORD COUNT - 4.5k
// masterlist // series masterlist // send me your thoughts // no way home fan fiction // rewrite
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name key: tom!peter = peter // andrew!peter = parker // tobey!peter = pete
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On the walk back from Peter Pan’s, it seemed as though Parker had managed to entirely escape the sputtering awkwardness that had ensnared him the night before. 
And, after countless city blocks of listening to him babble about absolutely everything and anything, you realized that there was one very striking similarity between him and Peter. 
Both boys had a fervent interest in all things nerd. 
“New Hope takes place nearly two decades after the rise of the Galactic Empire, meaning that Leia is only nineteen when she's kidnapped and forced aboard the Death Star! Which is like, absolutely insane, right? Seriously! Imagine being nineteen years old and stuck inside of something that has the potential to obliterate an entire planet!” 
Shoving open the lobby door to your complex, Parker hardly even waits for you to hum your agreement before continuing his retelling of the Star Wars film. 
“And at the exact same time, Luke is finally beginning his Jedi training! Which, honestly, nineteen is actually super old for that, but-” 
Moving towards the stairs, Parker close on your heels, you cut him off with a question. “Too old? Nineteen is hardly even an adult,” you argue. “What age do most Jedi start training?” 
“About four or five, so obviously Luke was way behind,” 
Not even a full three stairs up, you come to a grinding halt, leaving Parker to bump into your back. “Four?!” You cry out, wide-eyed as you spin around to face him. “That’s insane!” 
Parker only lifts his shoulders, clearly not understanding the reason for your horror. 
Furthering your point, you add, “There’s nothing ethical about taking a bunch of little kids and training them to be weird, intergalactic warriors!” 
“It’s the best way to train them!” He lifts his hand defensively, explaining, “The earlier they start training, the less likely it is that the kids will have formed an attachment to their families! That way they learn to act out of logic instead of emotion!” 
For a heartbeat, you’re rendered entirely speechless by the absurdity of his claim, left to stand with your mouth agape as you blink at him. 
“That sounds like emotional abuse,” you finally huff, shaking your head. “Actually, scratch that—it doesn’t sound like emotional abuse, it just is!” 
“It’s not abuse-” 
You hold a hand up, stopping him before he can say anything else. “Give me one good reason why a group of adults should withhold love and affection from children if they aren’t abusing them.” 
“Uh, how about the fact that love is basically what made Anakin turn to the dark side!” Parker scoffs, clearly unwilling to recognize how insane the notion he was pushing actually is. 
“Or maybe Anakin turned to the dark side because he was indoctrinated and traumatized by some stupid space cult!” 
The expression on his face is downright laughable. 
It was as if you had just reached out and slapped him across the face. His jaw went slack, his mouth hung open in blatant offense. As a sputtering noise falls from his lips, trying and failing to come up with a good rebuttal, you smirk. 
“Exactly,” you boast, taking his inability to speak as a sign of victory. 
Twirling on your heel, you continue up the stairs, nearly all the way to the top before you finally hear him come stomping up behind you. 
“The Jedi Order is not a cult!” He finally shouts after you. 
Already traipsing through the hallway, fiddling with your keys, you sing-song, “Whatever you say, bug-boy.” 
Reluctant to admit defeat, Parker continues grumbling under his breath as you unlock the door, spouting something off about your lack of respect for George Lucas. 
“Look,” you tell him, pushing the door open, “if liking Star Wars matters this much to you, then I’ll gladly watch them with you.” A wry smile plays on your lips as you turn to look at him, standing in the doorway, “Maybe watching them will be enough to change my opinion on turning kids into galactic slaves.” 
Eyes narrowing in a playful glare, he’s only able to hold the expression for less than a few seconds before a laugh causes him to break character. “I just can’t believe that Peter hasn’t made you watch them already,” he admits. “I had you watch them so much that you could probably recite the scripts from memory alone!” 
His amusement dies off as soon as he finishes the sentence. Despite having been the one to bring it up, the mention of his world seems to cast a sullen shadow over him, ruining his sweet, boyish smile. 
Curiosity instantly claws at you, begging you to ask him why his world seemed to have such a negative effect on him. Or, rather, why his version of you seemed to have such an effect. 
This had happened last night too, when you had asked him if the two of you were friends in his world—and it was because of this that you assume that you’re somehow the common denominator in his discomfort. 
Still, you don’t let yourself ask him about it. For as much as you’re starting to like Parker, you don’t know him nearly well enough to try prying into his life. 
Not yet, at least. 
“Well, you’re more than welcome to force me into sitting through them in this world, too.” You tell him sweetly, sweeping an arm out to gesture inside of your apartment, inviting him. “It’s not like I’ve got any plans for the rest of the day.” 
You couldn’t even remember the last time you did have plans. Life had been so quiet since that last night with Peter and Mj—the night when everything went so horribly wrong. 
Parker sucks in a breath through his teeth, a hand coming to rest against the back of his neck. “I should probably get back out on the streets,” he reluctantly says, sounding more like he was convincing himself of that than you. “But, I don’t know, maybe we can take a rain check on it, yeah?” 
Disappointment washes over you, sudden enough that you’re sure it shines through on your face. It takes a shocking amount of willpower to stop yourself from trying to persuade him to stay, wanting to remind him that two other Spider-Men were already running themselves ragged in pursuit of the villains—so why did he have to go, too? 
You had grown used to his constant talking, having found solace in the chatter that kept you from slipping too far into your own thoughts. Selfishly, you wanted him to stay so that you wouldn’t have to be alone; so that you wouldn’t have to risk thinking too long about Doctor Strange or the multiverse or constants or Peter. 
The thought of admitting any of that out loud, however, felt incredibly humiliating. 
“For sure,” you force a smile, trying to ignore the many thoughts swirling in your mind. Then, eyeing the slightly too-tight Ramones shirt that he’d stolen from you, you add, “But shouldn’t you at least come in and change?” 
His nose wrinkles slightly as he shakes his head. “Nah—I think this city has more than enough spider-people swinging around it right now. I figure we might actually benefit from one of us patrolling on the ground-level, y’know? Maybe I can ask around for any giant lizards or blown light bulbs.” 
It’s hard to tell if the last bit is meant to be a joke or not, but you laugh anyway if only to avoid knowing why you should be worried about lizards and light bulbs. 
“Sounds like a plan,” you second his idea. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later then?” 
A surprising sense of joy lights his eyes at the sound of your hesitance, unfitting of the simplicity of the moment, but charming nonetheless. He grins—a wide and endearing sort of grin—as he takes a step back, “I won’t be gone long,” he promises before reminding you, “lock the door behind you, alright? And if you need anything-” 
He pauses, patting the pockets of his jeans only to remember that he didn’t bring a phone with him to this universe—and that, even if he did, there likely wasn’t a wireless plan good enough to support multiversal travel. 
“If you need anything, call 911.” 
“Got it,” you laugh, watching as he stumbles backwards towards the stairwell, cheeks red with faint embarrassment. 
Turning to go inside, you can’t ignore the warmth that now blooms in your chest. 
You could definitely get used to having him around. 
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A peculiar sensation prickles at your skin, curling along your spine like icy fingertips. 
Something was wrong. Very wrong. 
The usually comfortable atmosphere of your apartment had shifted. An eerie tension fills the space, a near-suffocating feeling that has the very walls holding their breath, humming a tune of warning as you inch further into the living room. 
Your stomach twists as the sharp tang of exhaust fumes fills your nostrils. By the couch, a faint breeze rustles the curtains of a window, wafting in the nauseating scent of the city street below—a window that hadn’t been open when you left earlier. 
A mere foot or so away, you notice that the picture frame Parker had been fiddling with before is now lying on its face, having been knocked off the end table and abandoned. Atop the table, you notice that the lamp is sitting askew, its base just inches from tumbling over the edge and joining the frame. 
Someone had come in through your window—and it didn’t appear as though stealth had been very important to them, given that they had clearly stumbled into the table upon their entrance. 
Adrenaline floods your senses, your spine stiffening as you take a series of slow, quiet steps. 
Moving towards the corner, you carefully reach out a hand to grab the metal bat propped against the wall. The bat had been an unlikely housewarming present from when you first moved in, given to you by Peter’s mentor and your own reluctant renegade, Tony Stark. For nearly two years now it had sat in this corner, unused and gathering dust—until now. 
You wrap your fingers tightly around the base, wincing slightly as the rubber grip pulls at the still-healing flesh on your palm, making you curse yourself for not properly bandaging the wound last night. 
But you’re used to pain—and so you’re easily able to bite back against it as you ease through the living room, checking for any sign of the intruder's presence. 
As you walk, gripping the bat like your life depends on it, you can’t help but hear Tony Stark’s voice echo in your mind. 
If you’re gonna live alone, then you should have some sort of protection—he had told you, gently placing the cool steel into your hands for the first time, a ribbon tied sloppily around it—not that you need it. 
Satisfied with your search of the living room, you start easing towards the hall. You’re good at sneaking around, having had a lot of practice at it—every movement you make is calculated, every footfall so purposefully gentle that it’s nearly silent. 
Quiet as you were, you could do nothing to ease the sound of your blood thrumming wildly in your own ears, your heart pounding against your chest. 
The incessant beating worries you—because you know that there are people in the world with the unnatural ability to hear such things. Peter, even with his enhanced hearing, had to be close to someone in order to hear something as soft as their heartbeat; but you had heard rumors that there were others who could hear a pulse from miles away, others like the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. 
The thought makes your blood run cold, though you try to push the worries from your mind. From what you know, the Devil doesn’t have a habit of breaking into apartments, nor was Queen's his usual jurisdiction. 
No—what you were dealing with had to be no more than an average burglar! 
An average burglar who, somehow, scaled up the side of a building to break into your apartment… 
Alright—you think, approaching the end of the hall—perhaps it’s a not-so-average burglar, then! Still better than the Devil. 
Peeling one hand from the bat’s handle, you curl your fingers around the doorknob to the guest room, Parker’s room. You ease the door open slowly, trying to keep the old hinges from crying out as you peer into the space. 
The sweet scent of vanilla is the first thing that hits you, contrasted by the subtle bite of vetiver. 
Parker—the room smells of him, even though he had only been here for one night. 
On the bed, the quilt is rumpled and thrown about, pillows strewn about. The doors of the armoire are wide open, a few old shirts hanging over the edge of one of the shelves, no doubt from when he went digging through your clothes in search of something to wear. 
The room was messy, but empty. 
Your shoulders sag, half-a-breath loosing from your lungs. The relief is short-lived, however; as by the time you edge back into the hall to turn towards your own door, you’re overwhelmed with dread. 
If whoever broke in was still here, then this was the only place they could be—save for the bathroom, though you seriously doubt any burglar would have much interest in scouring through your toiletries… 
Easily, gracefully, you twist the knob, the metal yielding quietly to your careful touch. 
The curtains are tightly drawn, eradicating any trace of sunlight and leaving the room cloaked in shadows. But, even in the darkness, you’re able to see the rough outline of a figure sprawled out across your mattress. 
For a split second, you think of Parker’s advice to call 911, the weight of your phone suddenly heavy in your back pocket. 
You think of how you should follow that advice. 
You think about how fast you could run—if you would be able to reach the front door before they could catch up to you. 
But then you stop thinking, disregarding all logic and reason as you take a step into the room, as if drawn in by some invisible force. 
Remaining mindful of your surroundings, you slowly approach the edge of the bed. Squinting in the darkness, you try to study the body laid out atop your comforter. Watching the steady rise-and-fall of their chest, it suddenly hits you that, whoever they are, they’re asleep. 
Slinking around the corner and coming to stand at your bedside, you’re finally close enough that you can see them in spite of the absence of light. Crimson and blue spandex clings tightly to their arms as they cling one of your pillows to their chest, and you feel your entire body sag with relief as you loosen your grip on the bat. 
So this must be Peter 2. 
The fabric of his mask is bunched up and resting along the bridge of his nose, which is somewhat smushed against the pillow he’s holding, no doubt leaving him to breathe in the scent of laundry detergent and your perfume. 
Lower, you can make out the subtle contours of his jawline and the curve of soft, pink lips. Higher, you’re met with the impassive stare of then white lenses sewn into his mask. 
The lenses shield his eyes from your view, and a curious feeling begins to tug at the furthest corners of your mind. Take it off—it seems to whisper, compelling you to move in closer, your shins pressing against the side of the mattress—take it off. 
You grit your teeth and try to ignore the feeling, try to ignore the velvet-voice slithering through your mind; begging you to look at him, to touch him, to notice him, to-
Pain shoots along the side of your temple, likely in response to the sudden tightness in your jaw. It distracts you enough that you’re able to shake the strange feeling long enough to regain your focus—even if the remnants of it still linger. 
You shouldn’t be interested in him—you should be pissed at him. 
Not only had he broken into your house, which was already bad enough, but he had also climbed into your bed and made himself cozy! The absolute gall, the audacity he must have, has you allowing the tiniest sliver of rage to ignite inside of you. 
Both hands still gripping the bat, you lower it from where it rests against your shoulder to swiftly jab its head into his stomach. 
A cough sputters past his lips as the impact pushes the air from his lungs. 
You’re actually shocked that you landed the blow—in truth, you had expected his spider-sense to kick in and detect the incoming hit, waking him with just enough time to dodge the shot. But, apparently, his instincts had made the mistake of assuming that you were of no threat to him. 
“Morning sunshine,” you chime, your feigned cheerfulness set off by a sneer. 
He’s scrambling into an upright position, knees sinking into the mattress as he presses a hand against the sore spot you’d created on his stomach. “What the fu-” 
His voice is hoarse—from sleep or pain, you’re not sure—and he doesn’t finish the curse spewing from his mouth once his head shoots up towards you, as if finally registering the sound of your voice. 
“I don’t know what things are like in your world,” you muse, swinging your bat back to rest against your shoulder, “but in this one, breaking and entering is considered a crime.” 
He’s still catching his breath, and while those damn white lenses covering his eyes give so little emotion away, you assume that he’s going to apologize. It’s what Peter would do, and Parker, too. 
But not him. 
“Your friends said I could stay here,” he defends himself. Taking another deep breath and extinguishing the burning in his lungs, the lower-half of his face transforms into a defiant smirk. “It’s not breaking and entering if you were invited.” 
“And did they tell you to sleep in my bed, too?” You shoot back, brows rising in annoyance. “Word of advice: next time you’re invited to stay in a total stranger’s house, maybe try not to repay their kindness by crawling through their window.” 
He mocks you without missing a beat, “Word of advice: you live in a shitty neighborhood—if you don’t want people coming through your windows, you should try locking them.” 
“Ah, right! Cause the average person is definitely willing to scale the side of a building for the prospect of an unlocked window!” 
“You’re a pretty girl in a dangerous city,” he drones, lifting a shoulder as he meets your sarcasm with purposeful calm. “You’d be surprised what people would be willing to do for a chance at getting you alone.” 
The insinuation sends a shiver down your spine, but you mask your unease, flashing a smile that’s more predatory than sweet. “Aw,” you coo, “so you think I’m pretty?” 
He returns the expression, skillfully avoiding your derisive question. “I think you’re irresponsible—and a little cocky.” 
“Better to be cocky than a felon,” you remark. “Just spare my neighbors the acrobatics show next time, would you? Maybe try knocking on the door like a normal person! Preferably when you’re not dressed like… that.” 
It’s not that his suit wasn’t nice, because it was. But it lacks the advanced Stark-tech that makes Peter’s suit so uniquely sleek, meaning that it was likely safe to assume that no one in this world would mistake this boy for the real Spider-Man. 
Unless they were to catch him scaling up the side of your building… 
“I tried knocking.” he sounds exasperated, as if you are testing his patience. “You weren’t home.” 
You snort a laugh, wondering if he truly believes that is all the reason he needs to break into someone's home. 
“Then you should’ve waited until I got home,” 
“I hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours. I was too tired to wait.” 
“Then you should’ve slept in the alleyway with the rest of the strays,” you hiss at him, fingers tightening around the bat as your frustration builds. 
The sheer ferocity in your voice gives him pause, stunning him into silence. 
Then the corner of his mouth begins to twitch upwards, lazily grinning at you as if he actually enjoys the verbal onslaught. 
You can tell that he’s watching you through those white lenses, and his tongue darts over his bottom lip, you feel your breath catch in your throat. “Fine,” amusement dances in his tone as he raises his gloved hands, “fair enough.” 
For a moment, no sound comes from your parted lips, leaving you to stand there gaping at him until you remember how to speak. “Fair enough?” You echo, shaking your head slightly. “That’s all you’ve got? No apology?” 
He moves, forcing you to take a step back as he shoves his legs over the side of the bed and rises to his feet. He’s not as tall as Parker, but he still stands an inch or so higher than you, making it hard to not feel intimidated as he stares down at you, your own face staring back from the reflection of his lenses. 
“Better not push your luck, Spitfire,” 
He’s baiting you—he has to be! Using a stupid nickname to get under your skin, to try and prod further at your short temper. And it’s working—god, you hate how much it’s working!—because you find yourself contemplating putting his superhuman durability to the test by whacking him over the head with your bat. 
“By the way,” he says before you have a chance to act on your intrusive thoughts, pointing at your hands, “you’re bleeding.” 
As if his words switch a flip in your head, you’re suddenly aware of the acute throbbing in your palm. You loosen your grip on the bat, letting it clatter recklessly to the floor as you hold your hand out to examine it. 
Unsurprisingly, the rubber handle managed to tear open the barely-healed cut on your palm, courtesy of your too-tight grip on it. You hiss through your teeth, watching as blood oozed from the cut, dripping down towards your wrist. 
Slipping past you, the boy only half-manages to stifle his laugh. “You should probably take care of that.” 
He’s already slipping out into the hall by the time you regain enough awareness to follow after him, gritting your teeth against the pain. 
“And where do you think you’re going?” 
“To the other room,” he calls over his shoulder. Once he’s standing in front of Parker’s door, he spins back around to face you, his snarky expression still in-tact. “Where I’m hoping you won’t follow me.” 
Everything about him causes your blood to boil—his grating voice, his insolent attitude, his stupid soft lips. 
“Would it kill you to be nice to me?” You exclaim, your voice strained with pain as you try to wrap your hand in the lower half of your shirt. 
It takes no-time for blood to start seeping through the thin material, and you certainly don’t look intimidating like this—the lower half of your abdomen on display as you try to apply whatever pressure you can to the wound—but you don’t care. 
“I don’t have to let you and Parker stay in my house—I’m doing it because I’m nice, alright? And, so far, you’ve been nothing but a dick!” 
The thin fabric of his mask shifts, brows furrowing at the mention of Parker. Unlike Peter, however, he doesn’t bother commenting on the nickname. “Nice isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe you. Especially since you’re the one calling me names.” 
The levity in his tone makes you want to scream—what was his deal?! 
You press harder against your bleeding palm, your breathing turning shallow. You’re not sure if it’s frustration or pain or what, but you feel like your head is spinning. “Look, I don’t know you, alright? But this? Isn’t gonna work,” you bark at him, chin lifted defiantly as you stare into his mask, unrelenting. “If you plan on staying in my house, then you’ll get your shit together—got it?” 
His head tilts, curiously watching as you continue your frantic speech. 
“No crawling in through my windows or sleeping in my bed or smarting shit off! And take off that stupid mask!” You huff, shaking your head. “Or, I don’t know, pull it down the rest of the way! Just do something because you look stupid like that!” 
The words are spewing from your mouth like a torrential downpour, fueled by the rage swirling in your stomach and the throbbing in your hand and—
He laughs, a genuine laugh that isn’t born of derision, and you feel your racing thoughts slow to a halt. “You should work on your insults,” reaching for the nape of his neck, he tugs his mask off. “Because that was pathetic.” 
It’s no longer just your thoughts that have slowed, but the entire world. Everything around you feels like it has come skidding to a stop—leaving you staring up at him like a dumbfounded idiot. 
He’s beautiful—a commonality among Peter’s variants, it seems. 
He’s smirking, an infuriatingly charming smirk that lets you know he has no intention of listening to your demands for him to silence his quick wit. But you’re not focusing on that—no, you’re focusing on the features that had been hidden from you this whole time; his dark hair, tousled from removing his mask, falls in a chaotic halo around his face, contrasting the vibrance of his eyes. 
His eyes. 
They leave you breathless, and you hate it. Colored with the deepest cerulean you’ve ever seen, his eyes feel like staring into the depths of a crystalline ocean. You can almost feel yourself getting swept up in their tides, feel them enveloping you in a feeling of familiarity, as if this wasn’t the first time you had been pulled into their ebbing waters. 
“Have we–” your mouth has gone dry, your voice cracking. “Have we met before?” 
It’s a ridiculous question, and you recognize that even as it’s spilling from your lips. You couldn’t have met him before—not when the two of you weren’t even from the same universe! 
He seems to be thinking the same thing, and you’re already preparing to take the full force of whatever smartass comment he’s about to fling at you. “I’ve met you,” he says simply, taking you by surprise. Then he inclines his head towards your still-bleeding hand, “You should patch yourself up before you stain the carpet.” 
You look down at your hand, at the hem of your shirt, soaked in blood. 
“But just so I know,” you look back up, his body half-turned towards the door, his fingers resting against the knob, “if Peter and Parker are already taken, then who does that make me?” 
You have to force yourself to take a breath. “What did I call you in your world?” He’s silent for a moment, staring at the floor and chewing on his lip. Then, pushing the door to Parker’s room—their room—open, he smiles.
“Pete.”
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a/n - ayyy, pete's finally here! and, ofc, lots of other little important details sprinkled around as well.
also, i really wanna say thank you to everyone who has been reading and enjoying this story so far! it truly means the world to me to read all of the nice comments and to know that you guys are interested in this story! so, again, thank you 💖 as always, please comment/like/reblog and let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!
part four, titled "blooms of subterfuge", to be released april 29th
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fanwarriorfictions · 1 month
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Not Again - Part Nine
Summary: Y/n is desperate to try and get home, willing to face near death again to try if she must. Azriel is not willing to let her risk herself, and fortunately neither is the rest of his family.
Warnings: she’s a little angsty
Series Masterlist
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-Part Nine-
“You’re not trying it again,” Azriel snarls, arms crossed over his chest, “We don’t even know what went wrong in the first place, you could’ve died.”
Y/n sighs, rubbing her temples, they’d been at this for hours now, surrounded by the inner court. So far, no one seemed to be on her side, least of all Azriel. As soon as the words had left her mouth he’d been seething, that quiet calm mask replaced by burning rage.
“Give me the book of breathings and I’ll figure it out,” Y/n snaps back, bearing all of her teeth at him, “I must have misread something. Maybe the ancient busy body will have answers for me.”
“You’re not going anywhere near that book!”
“Az, chill out,” Cassian says, gripping his brother’s arm, “Let’s all calm down and think for a damn moment.”
Y/n slumps into her seat, glaring at Azriel as he paces on the other side of the table, the only thing keeping them from lunging at each other and tearing out each other’s throat. He glares right back, shadows whipping around him like they might grab her and strap her to the very seat she sits on to keep her from trying the spell again.
“Azriel’s right,” Feyre sighs, “That book was holding you hostage, and the book of breathings has done the same to me, I don’t want to risk you getting hurt again, or worse.”
“I’m not a child in need of your protection,” Y/n says, ice cold and guarded.
“No,” Amren says then, “But you are stranded and in need of our help. We will not risk ourselves because you want to foolishly run head first to your death.”
“Y/n, it’s in your best interest to take it slow, and let us help you,” Rhys chimes in, “I felt something when you opened that portal, something dark, powerful. There’s something out there, and whatever it is took an interest in out dear Y/n here.”
Y/n’s shoulder lock up, and Azriel’s glare turns to ice, “You already knew that didn’t you?”
“What was it?” Nesta leans on the table, steely eyes staring directly into Y/n’s soul.
“I don’t know,” she says, holding that piercing gaze, not backing down an inch, “I heard something, when I was trapped. Something cold and wicked.”
“What did it say?” Azriel demands, stepping closer to the table that separates them, multiple times in the last hour she’d been half tempted to leap across that table and fight it out with teeth, fists, and daggers, “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“Oh please.” She rolls her eyes, and she can see the exact moment it crawls beneath his skin, he looks half tempted to strangle her, “It’s kind of hard to talk when you’re to busy shoving your tongue down my throat.”
“I’m sorry,” Mor says, looking at Az with wide eyes, “What?”
“Listen, princess.” Azriel leans on the table, ignoring Mor, ignoring the rest of his family who look between the two with varying degrees of alarm, “I don’t give a shit about this whole, I’m tougher than the world act, you’re scared and I know it, I can fucking see it, so go ahead and tell me what the fuck it said.”
She practically hisses at him, leaning forward in her seat, arm in casual reach of the blade at her thigh, “You don’t fucking know me, shadowsinger.”
“That’s enough,” Feyre snaps, “if you two can’t be civil together one of you can get out.”
Azriel looks ready to argue but one sharp glare from his high lady has him backing down. He turns on his heal, taking three long strides away from the table, putting distance between them like it would cool the raging flames in their eyes.
“What did you hear?” Feyre asks calmly, that air of dominance in her voice, High Lady, a queen in her own right.
Y/n holds her head high, meeting Feyre’s eyes, she may not be a queen but one day she would be, and she would bow to no one, “It told me to pay the price, gods killer’s kin.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Cassian asks, “Why can’t these things just say what they mean?”
“When my mother banished the gods to that hell realm to die,” Y/n says, “It would seem not all of them did. And whoever survived is demanding the price my mother was supposed to give.”
“And what price is that?” Azriel’s voice is deadly soft.
She could feel the anger radiating off of him, not necessarily at her, not necessarily not at her. He was angry that she’d nearly died, that she was willing to do it again if it meant going home. He was angry at her for being so damn stubborn that she wouldn’t listen, that she wouldn’t let him play protective fae male. She was angry to, so gods damned angry at the Wyrd for handing her this fate. For bringing her here in the first place, for putting her in their lives, in his, only to take her away again.
“My life.”
Azriel felt the words echo through him, bouncing around in his skull, each syllable cracking another piece of him until he was on the verge of shattering. My life, my life, my life, her life, her life, her life, her, her, her. Sharp stabbing pain in his chest like each word was a ash arrow through his sternum and directly into the heart beneath.
“No.”
“You don’t-“
“No,” he growls again, gaze matching Y/n’s, fire and ice pushing and pushing against each other to create a storm.
“We don’t know what this thing is,” Rhys interjects, “If it’s an actual god like thing, one of Quinlann’s Asteri, or something else entirely. Amren will search that dreadful book for answers about the gate. You two, will sit and calm the fuck down, and the rest of us will get back to work.”
The High Lord’s voice held an air of finality, no room to argue, even Y/n slumped in her seat, letting some of the cold fire go out. Amren is up and out the door as soon as Rhys stands, grumbling something beneath her breath about ungrateful little girls that has Y/n glaring between her shoulders like she was imagining that dagger strapped to her thigh buried between them.
“It will be alright, Y/n” Feyre lays a gentle hand on the female’s shoulder, “We will get you home, and if this god wants a fight, we will give it one.”
Azriel notes the shattered and broken look in Y/n’s eyes as she nods at his High Lady. He is so busy examining each of her motions that he doesn’t notice his family file out, doesn’t notice the concerned eyes and subtle glances between him and the female before him. She won’t look at him, he can tell she is actively trying not to meet his gaze. Fine, if she wanted to play the silent game, he’d play it and he’d win. They were going to have this out one way or another.
He sits across from her, arms crossed over his chest, eyes searching her face for any motion, but she sits still, that absolute fae stillness that looks like she isn’t even breathing. If it wasn’t for the steady beat of her heart in his ears he would think she wasn’t.
They sat there in silence, neither willing to be the one to break first. She stares at the wall beyond him, he stares at her face.
The tension in the room is suffocating, Azriel’s shadows are the only movement, the only sound, whispering in his ears, she’s upset, help her, comfort her. He wants to scream, to tell them to mind their own business.
He knows she’s upset, he knows and there’s a part of him that wants to take her into his arms and hold her, to tell her it’s alright and that he’d help her figure it out, but there’s an even bigger part of him that wants to keep yelling, to grab her and shake her till she stops and actually listens to him. He wishes he was like Rhys, that he could go into her mind and show her what she had looked like, trapped in that spell, he wishes he could show her the terror in his heart. How could she be so gods damned stubborn that she would even think to try it again, to put herself through that again, to put him through it again. Because if she did it, he would be right there beside her, and he would burn all over again to keep her safe.
Both of them were to stubborn to break first, they sat there for nearly an hour before Azriel stood, that far away look in his eyes that meant Rhys was talking to him in his head. He didn’t say anything to Y/n, only sending her a warning look before stalking out the doors and jumping from the balcony. She was half tempted to follow, to take her talons directly into his back, to get the fight she’d been itching to have with him. Instead she sat there, staring at that same blank space on the wall, mind spiraling down and down into that dark portal that ate up the Walking Dead book.
She wishes she still had it, that she could figure out how it all went wrong. She was so sure she’d copied those marks perfectly, spelling out the name of her home meticulously. Orynth, Terrasen, she’d learned how to write out the name in the Wyrd marks as a child, she knew it like the back of her hand. It should’ve worked, the gate should’ve worked.
When it had opened, she swore she could feel home on the other side, lands of pine and snow, the smell of the kings flame blooming across the mountains. It was right there, just beyond her reach, and that was when she’d felt it, when there had been something else, something dark that took her mind and whispered those words. Which god had survived, which one now demanded her death, she wasn’t sure. Quite frankly she didn’t want to know.
Whoever it was, they were angry, angry at her mother for what she had done, for the deaths of the other gods, and for that, they would take the one thing her mother cherished beyond anything else, Y/n. They would take her, using the power in her blood to make the lock that would bring them home, squeezing every last drop of life from her till there was nothing left.
Azriel knew he was going to walk into the River house and be bombarded, the question was, who would get to him first.
“Who needs a babysitter now?”
He glares at his brother, “Shut up, Cassian.”
“No, no, I’m going to enjoy this,” Cass grins at him, “I’m surprised you actually came down here, with way you two were staring each other down I was sure there would be some rough-“
Azriel sends him a warning snarl, “Watch it.”
Cassian only grins wider, holding his hands up in mock surrender, “I’ve never seen someone get under you skin like that. I’m surprised it took this long for, how’d did she put it? For your tongue to end up down her throat.”
Azriel was seconds away from sending his fist into his brothers face when Rhys opens his office door, “I’m surprised you’re not in a bed right now.”
Cassian’s roaring laughter fills the hall way and Azriel doesn’t hold back the fist he sends straight into Cassian’s stomach. His brother breathlessly laughs, even as he doubles over. Rhys’s eyes sparkle in amusement and Azriel sends him a look that dares him to say anything else.
“Why did you call me down?”
The High Lords humor vanishes just like that, it’s enough to even sober up Cassian, “Amren found something.”
No, no, no, no, “What is it?”
“The book of breathings was very talkative, it kept telling her that the storyteller should have heeded its warnings,” Rhys sighs, leaning against the door way, “With enough snarling Amren was able to wring a solid answer out of it.”
Azriel felt like throwing up as he asked, “What did it say?”
Rhys gives him a look, one that seems pleading, “That the Wyrd brought her here for a reason, as a gift to her, and it was angry at her for not accepting it.”
Cassian sighs, “What does that mean. What gift?”
There’s a moment where Azriel thinks Rhys won’t answer. Whatever it was, Az isn’t completely sure he wants to know. Whatever that wretched book had to say, it couldn’t be good.
“Fate brought Y/n here as a gift to her,” Rhys says again, taking a deep steadying breath, “Brought her here as a gift to her and her mate.”
Everything went quiet, the air, the best of his heart, quiet. No sound, no breaths, nothing. Just that word, mate, her mate.
“Az.”
He didn’t know who said it, Rhys, Cassian, his shadows, he didn’t know, he couldn’t hear beyond the echo of the word, mate, mate, mate, mate.
“Who?” He chokes on it, drowns in it, mate, mate, mate, “Who is it?”
He could feel it, like a tendril of shadow that reaches far far above the city, to the red cliffs, to the house carved into it’s side.
Rhys gives him a pitying look, “Brother, who do you thi-“
A soft tug, on that shadow, so faint it feels like it slips between his fingers.
“Who?” He pleads, breaking beneath it, mate, mate, mate, “Please.”
He collapses beneath the weight, knees digging into the soft plush rug beneath him. His brothers don’t move, they let him get crushed beneath the word.
“The book said it was a gift,” his brother whispers, “a gift to the storyteller and the shadowsinger.”
Mate, mate, mate, mate. That tendril of shadow firmly in his grasp, and on the other side, sits a storm of ice and fire. His mate, sits on the other side, high above him in the House of Wind, mate, mate, mate, mate, mate.
She is his mate.
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sidekick-hero · 4 months
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(steddie | general | wc: 2.1k | cw: none | tags: childhood friends, Eddie lives, fluff and tiny bit of angst | AO3)
Written for the @steddielovemonth prompt: Love is being willing to wait for them.
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Eddie was six years old when he first met Steve, not that he would remember it until much, much later.
The boy Eddie met that day was sweet and a little shy, perhaps because he was so small for his age. He was a year younger than Eddie, only five, which was forever in Eddie's eyes. He felt responsible for the little boy somehow, so he walked up to him on the deserted playground to make sure he was okay.
"'Ello!" Eddie exclaimed, holding out his hand for Steve to shake, like he'd seen his daddy do all the time when they were in town. His dad called it part of the Munson charm, whatever that was, and Eddie wanted to be as cool as his dad. "I'm Eddie, who are you?"
The boy looked up at Eddie with big eyes and made no move to take Eddie's hand, so Eddie reached out and took the boy's hand in his own and shook it wildly.
"See, that's how you do it. And then you say your name. Let's try it again!" Eddie decided, still pumping the boy's hand. "I'm Eddie."
"Steve," the boy said with a slight lisp, and Eddie thought maybe he hadn't said his name earlier because he was afraid Eddie would make fun of him for it. The other kids made fun of him a lot, for a lot of reasons that Eddie didn't really understand. All he knew was that he didn't like it; it made him sad. Especially since none of the other kids would play with him, so he had to go on his adventures all alone, fighting the big dragon without a trusted knight at his side.
Perhaps Steve could be his knight.
"Will you help me slay the big dragon, Steve?" Eddie asked, suddenly excited at the prospect of finally having someone to play with. "He stole all our gold, so we have to slay him!"
He was still holding Steve's hand, but he dropped it as he began to imitate how they would fight the beast with their swords. "I'm a mage because my mom says every fairy tale needs a good fairy or a mage to help the hero defeat the villain. And you can be that hero, Steve! I'll help you with my magic," Eddie promised, his whole face breaking into a wide grin.
Steve giggled, but Eddie thought it wasn't like the other kids laughing at him. It sounded nice, like Steve was enjoying Eddie's antics. "What do you think, Sir Steve?"
Between bursts of pearly laughter, Steve eagerly agreed, but then paused to ask Eddie in a suddenly serious tone, "But why don't you wanna be the hero?"
"I'm no hero, Stevie! I'm a mage, didn't you hear me? I can do magic to help the hero, because only together can we defeat the beast." Eddie explained in an equally serious tone, because killing dragons was serious business.
"Okay," Steve agreed. "How do we fight a dragon? I never fought a dragon before."
Eddie explained his plans to Steve, and together they ran and climbed around the playground in search of the dragon. It was the most fun Eddie had had in a long time. Steve was the best hero ever; he listened to Eddie's ideas and had some surprisingly fun ones of his own. They forgot everything around them, caught up in a world of make-believe, until a woman's voice startled them out of their play.
"Steve! Steven, where are you? If your parents come home and you're not there, they'll fire me," the woman grumbled before shouting again. "Steve!"
Eddie looked at Steve questioningly as the voice came closer.
"That's Lucy, she's looking after me 'cause my parents don't have time," Steve explained in a low voice. "I have to go." He looked very sad when he said that and Eddie already missed his bright smile.
"That's okay, Stevie, we can kill the dragon tomorrow!"
That made Steve perk up. "Yeah?"
"Yeah! I'll wait for you here tomorrow!"
"Thanks, Eddie!" Steve exclaimed, throwing his arms around Eddie in a tight hug before running off to find the woman.
The next day, Eddie was back at the playground as soon as he could get away from their house, telling his mama that he had finally made a friend and now they had to kill the dragon. "He's my hero, Mom, and I'm his mage, just like in the fairy tales!" He told her, and she hugged him tightly before making him and Steve two sandwiches, because "slaying dragons is hard work and makes you hungry'.
Steve wasn't there when Eddie arrived at the playground, so Eddie sat down on the swings and waited for his new friend.
He waited until the first signs of dawn reached the playground, and he had to eat both sandwiches because he was hungry, and drink all the water his mama had packed.
Eddie only left when it got dark, and he knew his mama would be worried. But he was back the next day, and the next. Every day for weeks, Eddie waited for Steve on the swing, always wondering why his new friend didn't want to play with him anymore.
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Eddie never made a connection between his Stevie and King Steve. How could he, when King Steve was all aloof and arrogant, looking down on people like Eddie and walking the halls of Hawkins High with that haughty grin on his face. The boy wasn't his hero, and Eddie wouldn't dream of using his magic to help him.
Funnily enough, the first time Steve's sight sparked any kind of recognition in Eddie was when Eddie pinned him against a boathouse wall with a bottle against his neck. Stripped of his usual confidence by surprise and fear, Steve looked somehow... small. He sounded even smaller as he tried to reassure Eddie that he meant no harm, and the sound of his voice made something tingle at the back of Eddie's mind.
Steve was different than Eddie had expected, to say the least.
At times, he was snarky and bitchy. But not in the mean way he had been in high school. He was all bark and no bite. And he was good to Eddie's sheep, to all the kids, really. Like a big brother, a protector. A knight in shining armor who stood between them and danger.
And not just for the kids, for everyone.
Steve jumped into a dark, deep lake not knowing what awaited him; fought demonic bats with bare hands and teeth, losing more flesh than seemed healthy.
Steve was a hero, and later Eddie berated himself for not realizing it sooner, but hindsight is 20/20, and he only understood that Steve Harrington was indeed his Stevie when it was too late to do anything about it.
Eddie was almost sure when they stole the RV together, because the way Steve grinned at him just before they switched positions and Steve sped out of the trailer park reminded him so much of the sweet boy he once knew.
The boy he never really stopped waiting for.
When Steve asked Dustin and Eddie not to be cute, not to be heroes, he decided to test his theory.
"We're not heroes," he told Steve, and when Dustin said “you can be the hero, Steve” Eddie was watching his face for any sign of recognition. He could have sworn he saw a flicker of it in Steve's eyes. That was the moment he almost, almost asked outright.
Eddie even called out to him, the words on his tongue, "Why didn't you come back? I was waiting for you.' But in the end he decided against it. What use was there? They had bigger problems to deal with right now. He would ask Steve later, when it was all over. He would tell him that he had been waiting for him all this time and that he was glad that Steve had come back to him.
They would talk later.
Only later wouldn't come, Eddie realized as he tasted his own blood in his mouth and stared into Dustin's frightened, tearful eyes.
And then Steve was there, holding his hand, begging him, pleading with him to stay, not to die. Eddie couldn't promise him that, but he had promised him something else, and he wanted Steve to know that he had never broken that promise.
"I waited for you, Stevie. Every..." Eddie coughed wetly, more blood flooding his mouth, and he suppressed the grimace to keep smiling at Steve. "Every day. I knew you'd come back. Worth... the wait," Eddie whispered, his voice fading. Eddie was fading fast.
In the distance he heard Steve's voice begging him to stay, he needed his mage by his side, and the last thing he thought was that he was sorry he had to leave before he could see Steve slay their dragon, but he hoped his magic had helped enough.
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The next time Eddie was able to think and feel, it was like waking up from the worst hangover ever. Everything hurt, even his hair.
Slowly opening his eyes to a thankfully dimly lit room, he winced at the sharp pain in his head. It made moving his head even more torturous, but Eddie had to know where he was. Looking around as much as he could, he realized several things.
He was in a hospital bed with monitors beeping softly beside him.
It was night, with only a small bedside lamp providing some light.
Steve Harrington was asleep next to him, his arms crossed on Eddie's bed and his head resting on them.
Eddie must have made some sort of noise at the sight, because at that moment Steve jumped to his feet, ready to fight or flight.
Then he looked at Eddie and a myriad of expressions played across his face. Most of them passed too quickly for Eddie to decipher, but he's sure he saw surprise and joy. Wonder, definitely, but maybe fear, too, though Eddie had no idea why Steve would be afraid of him.
"Steve," Eddie croaked, his throat like sandpaper. The sound of his name was enough to jolt Steve into action and he hurried over to Eddie's bedside table. Seconds later, a straw was held to his mouth and blessedly cool water filled his mouth and ran down his throat.
"Thank you," he told Steve when the cup was empty and he felt more like a human being again. A badly mangled human being, but he took what he could get. "What happened? Is everyone..."
"Vecna is dead. Everyone made it out alive." Eddie let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "That's all you need to know for now. I'll tell you the rest tomorrow, okay? You should get some more rest. You... we almost lost you."
Steve looked shattered as he said this and Eddie finally noticed the dark bags under his eyes. Steve's hair worried him even more. It looked greasy and unkempt, worse than it had even looked in the Upside Down.
Eddie was afraid to ask, but he had to know. "How long..."
"Twenty days. They couldn't tell us when you'd wake up. If you'd wake up." His voice broke at the words, and Eddie tried to lift his hand to soothe and comfort, but it weighed a million pounds.
"I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long, Stevie," he said instead, hoping to ease Steve's pain with his words instead. But all it did was make Steve collapse, the bed the only thing breaking his fall. He was the one who reached for Eddie's hand then and held on to it like a lifeline.
"I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm the one who kept you waiting for years. I never went back to that playground. My babysitter didn't want to take me anymore because I ran away, and she almost lost her job. And then it had been years before I was old enough to go by myself and I couldn't... the thought of going there and you not being there was too much. And why should you be? Nobody would wait that long."
The "not for me" rang out between them and Eddie gathered all his strength to pull Steve's hand to his mouth. As he planted a kiss on the soft skin of the back of his hand, Eddie said in a low voice, "I did ... I waited all this time for you. This playground became my hound, once a day I would stop by, just in case. I always hoped you would come back."
Now it was Steve's turn to take Eddie's hand in his and place it gently on his cheek, planting a soft kiss on Eddie's palm.
Caressing Steve's lips with his thumb, Eddie smiled at the sweet boy he had waited a lifetime for. His hero.
"We did it, Stevie. We slayed the dragon!"
Steve's pearly laugh echoed through the room, silenced only by Eddie's lips as he leaned down to capture them in a fairy-tale kiss.
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Jealousy, Jealousy... | Final Part
A/N: this is the main ending. there is an alternative ending available for the other boy on patreon. the link for which is found at the end of this chapter.
Word count: 13k
Genre: Smut, angst, fluff
Warnings: fem!reader, mostly dom!reader, face-sitting, PIV sex, dirty talk, creampie, handjob, heartbreak.
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“Hey, baby.” You greet Yeonjun, giving him a kiss on the lips. “Ready to go?” 
You were picking him up to go home after a long day of work for the both of you. You had in mind a night of drinking wine and complaining about your day until you passed out in his arms and you can’t wait to get home already. 
“Just a little longer, doll.” He tells you and you immediately start whining. “Junnie… those two bottles of wine I bought aren’t gonna drink themselves. We gotta get cracking.” 
He chuckles tiredly. “While I appreciate your efforts to get me drunk, Beomgyu has composed a new song and I need to stay back to hear it.”
“Oh.” It’s still so weird to you how you now have to hear news about what your best friend is up to from other people. You used to know these things first. If this was a few months ago, you’d have already heard the song before anyone else did. But now you’re lucky if you even get to hear it at all. 
But that’s for the best. You’re doing good with Yeonjun. You’re doing good without Beomgyu. You’re breathing. You’re eating. Your heart is beating… maybe even for someone else for a change. It may have been excruciatingly painful at first–forcing yourself to step away from him, not seeking him out to try to make things better after your most recent fallout, not jumping at the chance when he reached out himself, pretending like you’re too busy to see him, making up excuses so you won’t be alone with him, building up your walls so maybe one day you can stand in a room with him and not have to hold back every cell of your body from throwing yourself at his feet and begging him to love you, but you’ve gotten a lot better at it. 
“Do you wanna listen to it?” Yeonjun asks when he sees your curiosity, but you hesitate. Should you? Maybe you should just wait in the car…
But when you see Beomgyu come out with his acoustic guitar and set it on his lap, you find yourself nodding and grabbing a seat next to Yeonjun. You miss hearing him sing. You miss being privy to his passions and whims. Maybe it's selfish of you to allow yourself the opportunity to witness more of him than you’re willing to give him but you never claimed to not be selfish. 
As if Beomgyu shares your thoughts, he glances at you, hesitating for a second and you can see the thoughts flitting behind his pretty eyes–you know him too well. Is he thinking about kicking you out? Does he not want you to hear the song because you’ve been keeping your distance from him? 
Eventually though he looks down at his guitar and starts to play, and as soon as the first words leave his lips, your heart drops. 
Oh, I’m falling in love
As time goes by
As my feelings grow 
I’m becoming more anxious
How deep is your love?
I want to ask
Couldn’t it be the same if not deeper? 
Your heart lurches in your chest at the lyrics. Falling in love? Is Beomgyu falling in love with Haeun? You know you have no right to feel hurt by this but you do. Why couldn’t he have loved you? What does he see in her that you couldn’t have given him? Is she prettier than you? Smarter? Kinder? Funnier? What was it that made you fall short of deserving his love? 
Seeing you change little by little
I’m afraid I’ll lose you
Not mine
My one minute, one second
Take them all
All my time is yours
Why?
Why have you changed?
Why are you so far away from me? 
Now we are at different paths. 
It hurts even more that it seems she’s not reciprocating his feelings. She has everything you want and she doesn’t even want it. He’s willing to give her everything but it seems it’s not enough for her. Oh how cruelly ironic. 
She seemed to be very into him before, at least after the band got more popular, and with every increase in their popularity, she attached herself to him more and more, but something must’ve gone wrong along the line. You have known for some time that Beomgyu and Haeun have been having relationship troubles but you don’t know exactly what because Beomgyu hasn’t told anyone but you guess it’s really bad if this song is about them. 
Is she in love with someone else? Has she lost interest? How could she do it so easily when it’s taking everything in you to do the same. Can she tell you her secret so you can stop suffering and give your heart completely to the man who actually wants it? 
How can I go back
To our beginning
When we were looking at the same place
The when we had the same heart
I hope you don’t know it
This feeling
Even though I love you
I still feel alone
He’s hiding it from her, afraid to reveal his feelings–maybe because he thinks she doesn’t feel the same way, that if he reveals them she’ll reject him. You know that feeling all too well. You wish you could protect him from it even if he was the cause of your own similar pain.
As the chorus repeats, you become even more sure that the song is about him. You can hear the anguish so clearly in his voice. Beomgyu has always been so talented, always able to give his all to the song and live it as if it’s his own, but you know him too well. You know this is real pain. 
I’m drowning in you
Don’t leave me like this
As the bridge reaches its climax, your body shakes, wanting to lunge forward and take him into your arms, to save him from himself even if it would tear you to pieces. But you can’t. You don’t have the right to anymore. All you can do is sit there and wait for him to finish his song, wait for the boys to discuss it as if it’s not his heart being laid out in the open to be dissected. 
“What do you think?” He asks once the song is over, biting the skin of his finger, a nervous habit you’ve always quietly found adorable. You would always grab his hand and kiss the poor finger better, scolding him for hurting himself, but secretly you loved it. You loved having his hand in yours. You loved having an excuse to press your lips against him. And you loved the smile he would always give you in response. 
“It’s really good." Kai says, impressed. "Didn’t know that someone as emotionally stunted as you could come up with such a moving song."
"Fuck off." Beomgyu mutters, not in the mood for jokes, obviously nervous to see what the others think. 
“Yeah, I like it too. You said you’re thinking of having violins in the opening?” Taehyun asks, picking up a music sheet. 
Beomgyu nods. “Yeah. I know we’ve never done that before but I feel like it would really add to the atmosphere of the song.” 
"I think it could be fun." Taehyun hums, turning to Soobin. “What do you think?” 
"I agree. It's good to experiment a bit while still maintaining our sound which I think this song does really well. It could expose us to more people while still not alienating our existing fanbase.” He praises and Beomgyu smiles, relieved at his song being so well-received by the other members. “I especially like the bridge part. I think once Yeonjun sings it, it would really elevate the song.” 
Beomgyu's face falls at that but he quickly covers it up. You furrow your eyebrows. That can't feel good, being compared negatively with Yeonjun, even if Soobin didn't mean it like that. 
You look at Yeonjun, who hadn't said a word so far. He was staring at Beomgyu weirdly. Did he not like the song? 
You nudge him, giving him a questioning look and he just shakes his head, smiling at you before saying, "I like it. Good job, man."
Beomgyu gives him a tense smile in response, and the group falls into an awkward silence for a few seconds–a weird tension hanging in the air, before Soobin clears his throat and begins discussing how they'll play the song, what parts could be improved and who will get which part. You don’t really listen anymore, just looking between Yeonjun and Beomgyu. 
Your boyfriend seems to have gotten over his weird reaction, now focused on the technicalities. Beomgyu is focused too but he doesn’t look as enthusiastic as you expected him to be–as you'd seen him get when talking about his songs before–and it's more proof to you that this is a very personal song to him. 
As the boys finally break up after a while, most of them going their separate ways to pack up their stuff and get ready to leave, your boyfriend stays behind with Soobin, still discussing something with him. That’s when you spot Beomgyu alone, putting his guitar in its case, and you take the opportunity to go talk to him, unable to hold yourself back this time. 
“Hey, Beomgyu, that song was really good.” You start by saying, wanting to congratulate him on a really good song but also needing an opener. But Beomgyu doesn’t say anything in response, simply giving you a blank look–which fucking hurt but you guess you deserve it–so you continue lamely, trying to get him to respond. “You’re really talented. I don’t think you’re gonna need to moonlight as a stripper anymore.” You try to joke but again he doesn’t really say anything, turning his attention back to his guitar bag which he zips up. 
“Umm… Beomgyu, that song… is it about you?” You bite the bullet, and he finally gives you some sort of response, albeit nonverbal. He looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. “Is it about you and Haeun?” 
“What?” He frowns and you explain yourself nervously, hoping you weren’t overstepping boundaries that have sprung up in your absence. “Well, the song is about a guy who loves someone who doesn’t feel the same about him and how she’s changing and being distant… is that what’s happening with Haeun?” 
He sighs. “Maybe. So what?” 
You wince at his callousness, like he doesn’t have time for you. You suppose you brought it on yourself with the way you've been avoiding him. Still you ignore it, determined to tell him what you think anyway. “Well, if it is, you should tell her. Tell her how you feel, she might feel the same way and you don’t even know. You might both be pulling away when all you want is to be with each other.” Yes, you know how hypocritical it is of you to say that but you can’t imagine a world in which anyone would reject Beomgyu’s love. “If you love her then you should tell her, right?” 
He snorts. “What do you even know about how I feel? Do you have any idea about the amount of hurt and self-loathing it would cause me if she doesn’t feel the same way? How it would ruin our relationship if she’s not where I am?”
“I know.” You grit down on that same pain. “I know.”
He pauses, his anger burning out as soon as it ignites. Then he asks quietly, “Yeonjun?” 
You press down on your lips. You know if you say no then he might figure it out. He might finally discover your wretched secret, so you smile and nod, fully knowing how hypocritical you are being right now. You’re such a fucking coward, you disgust even yourself. 
“Right.” He is quiet for a minute, and the atmosphere is charged with weird, unreadable emotions that buzz in your ear and form sparks over your skin. You almost excuse yourself–not really wanting to leave despite how uncomfortable it is but knowing you should. You’ve said what you wanted to say. There is no good reason for you to linger around any longer. 
But then Beomgyu speaks again. "Are you happy?"
You pause, frowning in suspicion at the unexpected question, which Beomgyu notices right away and clarifies, "We haven't talked in a while. I wanna make sure you're doing alright." He says, tone genuine… and a bit sad. 
"I am." You allow, not being untruthful. You are alright, no matter how bad you feel doing it without him. "We're doing well. Yeonjun is as wonderful as ever. He is sweet and funny and he shows me something new everyday. Which is a bit scary for me–you know how I am afraid of change, but he makes it exciting.” 
“I’m glad. I want you to be happy.” He smiles at you. It doesn’t reach his eyes but you know he means it. “And I wish I could be there to see it for myself. Do you think you can let me?” 
That’s what you were afraid of. This is why you shouldn’t have talked to him. You knew he might use it to try to get back into your life, and you know how hard it would be for you to say no. But you do it anyway. You have to do it for yourself and for Yeonjun. 
“I can’t. Not now.” Each meager letter leaving your mouth feels like a blow to the heart. It lays battered in your chest, asking you why the hell you would refuse it its salvation, but you just push it down again, silencing it. 
“But I miss you.” His words come out choppy and weak, and you know he’s holding back tears. You hate him for it because it makes you want to cry too. “Don’t you miss me?”
“Of course, I miss you!” You whisper as if you don’t want the universe to hear it. "I'll always miss you. But I can't keep doing this with you anymore. I'm tired of the whiplash." 
"No more whiplash.” He shakes his head harshly, getting closer to you but you step back, causing pain to bloom across his teary face. “I get it now. I've worked through my stuff and I'm ready to be a real friend again." 
"Well, I haven't worked through mine.” You stand strong. Or as strongly as you can be under such duress. “I still need time and I will not have you rush me."
He moves back, shoulders hunched down. "I'm sorry." 
"I know." You say tiredly before walking away, your bruised heart bleeding out at the bottom of your chest.
____________
Beomgyu’s song has become some kind of a local sensation. It is being listened to by a lot of the young people in your city–resonating with many youths who have gone through similar heartbreaks. From small unrequited crushes to the person you love falling out of love with you–who hasn’t loved more than they have been loved before? 
The painfully relatable song has gained the boys a considerable amount of fame online too. They were being asked to do more gigs than ever. They’ve even gotten an interview, which you’re currently preparing them for, dressing them up to look their best on camera. 
Like always, you’ve left Beomgyu for last, dreading being close to him still. And he gives you every reason to, staring at you the whole time you fix his clothes. 
"What?" You finally ask, and he gives you a dumb look. "What?"
"You're staring." You tell him, and he averts his gaze. You can see from the ear poking out of his long hair that he’s blushing. "Oh. Didn't realize." 
Oh, how many times you’ve teased him over the way his ears turn red when he’s embarrassed. It was such an endearing quality in him, just one of the many small reasons that made up the whole of you loving him. 
You got back to styling him, pretending it doesn’t tug at your heartstrings anymore, and he goes back to staring at you. 
After a long beat of silence, he asks awkwardly, "So what are you up to? What's new with you?" 
"Well, I'm the creative director for this up and coming band's new song." You joke, trying to ease off the tension. Or maybe his cute involuntary reaction softened up your defenses a little bit.
"Oh, are they good?" He grins, falling gladly into your familiar banter. 
"They are, but I think their bass guitarist only got the job because of his looks."
He gives an affronted gasp. "What the hell? Hater! What, you think just because he's so pretty he can't possibly be talented too? Us pretty people are always misjudged."
"Oh, you poor pretty boy." You reach out to pinch his chin, before you realize what you’re doing and quickly take your hand away, clearing your throat and stepping back. “All done.” 
You give him a tense smile and turn to leave but his hand shoots out to grab your wrist. 
"Wait." He shouts, and you look down at his hand wrapped around your wrist. He notices your discomfort and immediately lets you go. "Do you want to get together for some food or a movie or something?"
Why does he have to make this so hard? Why does he do this every time? 
"Not yet." You repeat what you must’ve told him a dozen times before. You can't slip back into it. Because your skin still buzzes whenever you touch him and your heart clenches painfully around the hole he left in it whenever you see him. You need time apart to fully let the love you have for him go. 
"When?” He asks, frustrated. “When will it end? What can I do to help? What do you need me to do so you can be my friend again?"
"I need you to give me space." You say firmly, standing your ground. 
“But–”
“No buts, Beomgyu. You’re the one who made it this way. If you had been my friend when I needed you to, we wouldn’t have gotten into this situation. You need to deal with the consequences of your own actions.” 
He stares at the ground, not answering you. You sigh, turning around to leave with no restrictions this time. 
Though what you said to him about his previous behavior causing a rift between you wasn’t false, it wasn’t entirely the truth either. The other reason you felt you couldn’t be his friend again yet is that you’re still not over him, and you’ve made a promise to yourself and to Yeonjun that you will only be devoting yourself to him from now on, and Beomgyu being there is just going to hinder your progress. 
But as you watch the boys do their interview, you can’t help but feel guilty for what you’d said to Beomgyu. You know it was the right thing to do, but seeing him look so glum, his light dimmed and his spirits down, you wish you had held it off at least for later. 
He is acting nothing like his normal loud, talkative self. He looks down and doesn’t speak unless directly asked a question. It hurts your heart because you know the people watching this won’t get to see how funny and bright and passionate he is. They’ll see him as the quiet guy staring at his own feet. He might still get some fans who would be into the quiet, sad look but that’s not who Beomgyu is. That’s not what he wants to be known as. 
But the rest of the boys are covering for him well, especially Yeonjun. He is so charming, you know he’s gonna be stealing hearts left and right when this airs. He certainly has managed to put a smile on your face despite all the conflicting feelings you’re feeling, and you make sure he sees it whenever he glances in your direction. 
_______________
The boys are doing better than ever, more interviews and gigs coming in and filling their schedule up so rapidly they’ll barely have any free time soon. They’re already in talks with a record company looking to sign them. Which is why you’re actively savoring moments like this when you get to just hangout with Yeonjun at the mall, eating a snack as you take a break from shopping–one of your favorite activities to do as a couple. 
“Just think, soon enough we won’t even be able to do this. We’d be getting mobbed by crowds wanting your autograph and pushing me out of the way to take pictures of you.” You say to Yeonjun, half-joking. It might really happen one day with how quickly they’re gaining popularity. They might have small fame now but who knows what tomorrow will bring, and you believe in the boys. They’re talented enough to do it, and that both worries you and excites you. 
“Well, I’ll only ever have eyes for you.” He winks at you, and you give him a small smile.
In moments like this you should feel happy. You are happy. But your happiness is incomplete. It is shadowed by worry and doubt. Yeonjun is so wonderful. He is so sweet and he can be very caring, but sometimes you can’t help but question how much he really feels for you. It keeps you from letting yourself completely go with him. He tells you words that are supposed to be charming, but they don’t sound personal. They don’t feel deep. You know he likes you, but is he ever going to love you? 
Maybe you’re overthinking it. This is what a budding relationship is like–the novelty comes with uncertainty. The first times come with doubt. The young fire sometimes burns. You shouldn’t let yourself ruin it for you. 
Yes, your love for him isn’t as old and deep-rooted as your love for Beomgyu but maybe that’s a good thing. It will take time to grow and flourish and become something just as beautiful or even more so. In time, you can learn to let go of your all-consuming love for your best friend, cover that gaping hole that Beomgyu has left in your heart, forget about the way every time you see Beomgyu with her you feel like screaming out so loud the gods themselves will weep–
“Beomgyu.” You gasp, seeing him in front of you. Fuck, he’s like bloody marry. Call his name three times and he appears. 
You try to hide, putting your head down and attempting to cover your face with your hair but there is no mistaking Yeonjun’s bright orange head and Beomgyu quickly spots you and makes his way over to you with Haeun of all people. 
“Curse your stupid hair.” You hiss at Yeonjun just before Beomgyu and Haeun arrive at the table. 
"Hey, guys, are you on a date?" Beomgyu asks as if there was any doubt about it. 
"Yes, actually." Yeonjun tells him in a tone that clearly conveys that you don’t want to be disturbed, But Beomgyu doesn’t care, grabbing a chair and pulling it out. 
"Oh sweet." He sits down. "How have you guys been?"
“What are you doing, Beommie? We have a lot of shopping to do.” Haeun complains, and every time you hear her call him that you want to claw her tongue out.
"In a minute, baby. Let's rest our legs for a bit." He motions for Haeun to sit down, but she puts her hands on her hips. “I don’t want to rest.”
“Well then you go on and I’ll catch up with you.” He suggests and she huffs, deciding to sit down after all. Oh, joy.  
“But I can’t leave you alone, Beommie.” She whines, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his neck, making you almost hurl. 
Thankfully, Yeonjun takes your attention away from them. “So, what new crazy thing is your boss asking from you?” 
You turn fully to him, trying your best to ignore the disgusting intruders. “Ugh, don’t even get me started. This morning, she–”
“Boss? What boss?” Beomgyu interrupts, and you clench your teeth, preparing yourself before turning your head to look towards him. 
“The editor of Elements magazine. She saw the Frost shoot and wanted me to do a pictorial for them.” 
“Oh my god, that is amazing.” He shouts, startling Haeun who was so close to his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 
An awkward moment passes after his mindless question. Because we don’t talk? Because we’re not friends anymore? 
Eventually, you decide to just shrug. “I guess it must’ve slipped my mind.” 
“Right.” He clears his throat, going along. “Well, show me what you’ve done so far.” 
You hesitate, glancing at Yeonjun who sighs and gestures for you to go ahead. So you pull up your phone, showing him some of the pictures you’ve already taken.  
"Wow this is real artistic shit." Beomgyu awes and you laugh. Trust in Beomgyu to give such an un-nuanced but still somehow very flattering opinion. 
“I don’t get it. It’s just a guy in a bathtub.” Haeun speaks up, obviously intending to antagonize you. “My friend Jiwon takes better pictures than this and he didn’t even go to college. If that’s what they teach you at school then you’ve wasted your money.”
Oh fuck no. You may be spineless but you won’t allow Haeun of all people to make fun of your work. You prepare to launch into a screaming match with her condescending ass, but before you could even open your mouth to speak, Beomgyu beats you to it. “Your friend Jiwon takes back camera pictures of weird strangers on the street and makes up an exaggerated or completely false backstory about them to try to make the obviously amateur pictures appear more interesting. How fucking original.”
Beomgyu’s quick defense of you makes your heart swell. Some things never change. 
“Yeah? Like this is original!” She sputters indignantly. 
“I know it’s nothing groundbreaking.” You interrupt their quarrel, “Like a guy in a tub staring longingly at the camera isn’t something that hasn’t exactly been done before but… umm, it’s actually inspired by your song. The colored water is supposed to represent love, you know the “I’m drowning in you” part? It’s killing him but he can’t get himself to get out. He wants to drown in it… I don’t know it may be stupid but I hope you don’t mind.” 
"Oh. No, I'm… flattered." He trails off, staring at you wide-eyed. “I didn’t think I would be able to inspire you again…” 
“Yeah, well...” You mumble bashfully, a charged moment passes over you as you stare silently at each other. 
"Are you done?" Haeun complains, and for once you’re thankful to her for cutting the strange moment. "I'm bored. Let's go." 
“We haven’t even eaten anything yet. Take a look at the menus and order something for us, won’t you?” He asks her, but doesn’t even wait for her response before turning back to you. "You know what would be hilarious. If you get the editor to let you do a shoot with the plastic watermelon dress you made."
“It’s not plastic.” You roll your eyes at him, knowing exactly which dress he’s referring to. “It’s coral organza.”
“Looked like plastic to me.” He shrugs with a mischievous grin on his face. 
“That’s because you're fashion illiterate.” 
“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m very fashion forward and hip.” He proclaims, sounding decidedly NOT neither fashion forward nor hip. 
“Yes, because a punk guitarist wearing ratty shirts and ripped jeans is so revolutionary.” You drawl teasingly and he pouts, pulling at his shirt. “Hey! You were there when I picked these out. You said I looked cool.” 
“Yeah, she’ll say you look cool wearing a garbage bag.” Yeonjun scoffs and you blush, realizing that you’ve completely neglected Yeonjun as soon as Beomgyu got here. You move back from your huddled forward stance to lean against your boyfriend.
“What?” Beomgyu asks and you quickly brush Yeonjun’s comment off. “Nothing. Now Yeonjun is very stylish. He knows all the trends and he knows how to make them work for him.” 
Beomgyu snorts, glancing at your hand that is caressing Yeonjun’s chest. “I don’t follow trends. I make trends.” 
“That’s right, baby. You’re a trendsetter.” Haeun coos, getting her hands on him too, touching him much more inappropriately than you were touching Yeonjun. 
But Beomgyu ignores her once again, asking you, "How did you even reach the editor of Elements?"
"Oh, Yeonjun knew her." Your hand falls down to wrap around Yeonjun’s, squeezing it reassuringly. 
“Of course, Yeonjun knows the editor." For some reason that piece of information really seemed to annoy Beomgyu. But you ignore his unnecessarily snarky tone and turn to smile at Yeonjun, hoping he’d forgive you for your earlier mishap. “Yeah, he’s amazing, isn’t he?” 
"Yes, he’s great.” Beomgyu mutters, standing up. “I think me and Haeun have stuff to do. Let’s go, baby."
"Yes!" She claps happily, standing up too. 
"Oh, okay. Bye, I guess." You mumble, watching them abruptly scurry off as you try to process the weird interaction.  "What's wrong with him?"
“Maybe he’s just being his usual weird self.” Yeonjun shrugs, removing his hand from yours, making you frown. "Or maybe he feels inadequate because I was able to get you the job and he couldn't."
"That's ridiculous." Why would Beomgyu feel inadequate about that? He doesn’t have any obligation to get you work. 
"Is it? If I was in love with a girl and another guy gave her what I couldn't. I would be pretty bummed out too." 
"What?" The world suddenly screeches to a halt, as does Yeonjun. He looks at you, slowly contemplating something as if he doesn’t know that the world has stopped and is waiting on him. 
Finally, he sighs. "I tried to ignore it. Partly because the idiot is trying to hide it and partly because I like you, but ever since we got together, it's been pretty damn hard to ignore. Beomgyu is clearly in love with you.”
"No. You’re getting it wrong.” You shake your head, hoping to get rid of the cotton that has replaced your brain, your thoughts feeling fuzzy and slow as they travel through it. “He's just upset because he thinks us dating will drive me and him apart… which I guess has been true."
"No, he's upset because he wants to be with you and it's killing him to see us together.” Yeonjun clarifies, irritated at having to explain to you how some other guy is in love with you. 
"How can you be so sure? Did he tell you that?"
"He doesn't have to tell me. I have eyes…" He looks you up and down. "And well, I'm not stupid like you two."
"That's ridiculous." You denounce once more. 
"You said that already."
"Well, it is! Beomgyu doesn’t love me. I mean as a friend, sure but not… like that." 
"Oh my god, I'm dealing with two idiots. I don’t even know why the fuck I’m explaining this to you but here goes,” Yeonjun exclaims in frustration, obviously not enjoying this conversation any more than you are. “Think about it, no guy gets this worked up over just a fuck. His first explanation of his anger being just because he’s afraid our relationship is going to ruin the band was total bullshit. It was just to throw you off his scent and have a way to get you to stay away from me without revealing anything. And his second explanation is even more bullshit. Why the fuck would us being in a relationship make you lose him as a friend if he didn’t hold anything but platonic love for you? Why does he get mad every time you and I take a step forward in our relationship? Because he’s fucking in love with you. He literally wrote a whole song about how he’s secretly in love with you and it’s killing him that you’re not his!"
“That song was about me?” You ask and he gives you a look as if to say he can’t believe a single human being can be this dumb. “No, it’s obviously about the girl he’s been ignoring the entire time he was sat with us just so he could talk to you.” 
Your mouth opens slowly, tongue dry as it forms the words. "Let’s say he does love me. Why wouldn't he just tell me?"
"Why wouldn't you just tell him?"
You sputter uselessly for a while, not really saying anything. Until you give up and just stop, submerging the both of you in a suffocating silence. You’d think that your thoughts would be racing a million miles an hour right now, trying to process all this information, but nothing is going through your head except one question. 
Beomgyu loves me? Beomgyu loves me? Beomgyu loves me? 
You’re only taken out of your looping thought when Yeonjun sighs again. "Well, this was fun while it lasted."
"What?" Your mouth hangs open, your frozen brain somehow still having enough power to be shocked. 
"You're obviously still completely in love with him. When he's there it's like you don't even see me. You don't see anyone else." Yeonjun says defeatedly. 
"No, I–" You try to deny, but he gives you a pointed look, daring you to lie to him. 
“Okay, I love him but I’m with you.” 
“Only to get over him.” 
You shake your head vehemently. “No. My feelings for you are real. Don’t you dare deny that.” 
“Maybe, but they’re not as strong as your feelings for him.” 
“But they can be.” You insist–trying to convince yourself or him, you don’t know.  Maybe if you give me the chance to–”
“To what? Wait and see if you’ll finally look for me first when you walk into a room instead of him? Pretend that I don’t know that time and distance haven’t dulled your love for him one bit? I can’t go on in a relationship where I know my partner will always be thinking ‘what if’. I won’t let myself be hurt like that by you. Not anymore.” 
You tear up. You were hurting him? You didn't even think he cared all that much. You must be a terrible judge of character to be getting both boys so wrong. “I’m sorry, Yeonjun. I never meant to hurt you. I really, really tried.” 
You really did. You didn’t do this just to get over Beomgyu. Yes, it was part of it, but you liked him too. You really thought this could work, and you really think it would have if Beomgyu wasn’t in the picture, and so you did everything in your power to take him out of it. You moved out from your apartment. You cut Beomgyu off. You dedicated yourself to Yeonjun. 
But how can you stop your heart from beating for Beomgyu? It’s entirely out of your control.  
"But you did anyway.” He says and you wince, one tear escaping your lashes and falling down the left side of your face. “Do you hate me?” 
“I could never hate you.” He sighs, and your lips tremble as you confess, “I wish you would. It might make me feel better.”
“Maybe you don’t deserve to feel better.” His words pierce your heart, and you know you deserve every ounce of pain it inflicts. 
“That’s fair.” 
You’re both silent for a long while–you trying to keep your tears under control, not wishing for him to see it as any intention to garner sympathy or guilt from him, and him sitting there quietly, his thoughts entirely hidden from you, but you know there is pain and anger in him. You can feel it radiating off of him. 
But eventually your tears dry out, and you gather enough courage to ask one last thing of him. “I know I have no right to ask this but can you not tell Beomgyu about us breaking up? I don’t want him to know yet. But don’t worry, I’ll gather my things and move out. You won’t have to live with me.”
"You're not done playing games?" He frowns and you shake your head. "I'm not. It’s just because you guys are working out that record deal and if anything goes wrong, I don’t want to risk ruining things for you.”
“Fine.” Yeonjun graciously accepts. “And you can stay. I’m not gonna kick you out into the street. I’m not that kinda guy.” 
____________________
Despite your love for Beomgyu, your break-up with Yeonjun wasn’t easy. You really liked him and had grown attached to him. And even though you still lived together, you hardly talked when it was just the two of you alone. You realize with time just how hurt he is by everything even though he tries his best to hide it from the others–not just because they think you’re still together, but because he has always refused to burden his younger members with his troubles, ever the selfless older brother. It’s one of the qualities you both admired and despised about him simultaneously. You wanted him to share his fears and worries, to lighten the load on his shoulders, and for a short while you were able to do that for him, but now that you’ve broken up, he’s left to carry all of it by himself again and with heartbreak to boot. 
You feel incredibly guilty about it, and you mourn for the love that could’ve blossomed between you had you not been so hung up about your best friend. The best friend you still haven’t talked to by the way. 
Yeonjun's words have not left your mind since the day he revealed everything to you. No moment passes by when you don't think about them. But you haven’t confronted Beomgyu about it yet because the record deal was still underway, and because you weren’t sure if Yeonjun is even right about it all. What if he’s wrong? 
Yeah, what? You'll ruin your friendship with Beomgyu? It's already in shambles anyway. Still, the rejection will be brutal. You've lived in the shadows for years. You're used to ignoring your feelings, that kind of pain is familiar to you now, but if you reveal them to Beomgyu and he shoots you down, you might not bear it. 
You'll tell him soon enough though, after the party tonight. The boys have finally reached an agreement with the record company and the contract has come through. They're officially signed to a label now and tonight’s party is a small celebration of that. 
You’ll do it after the party tonight. You’ll ask to talk to him after everyone leaves and you’ll confess everything. You're ready to come clean and end it all. Well, as ready as you can be. 
But as the party drags on, you get restless, and when you spot Beomgyu alone, refilling his drink, you can’t help but steal a little moment with him. 
“Congratulations, Beommie. I hear your song sealed the deal.” You smile widely, your lips buzzing with the desire to tell him what you really want to say–that you love him, that you’re proud of him, and that if his song is really about you then he needs to know that you’ve always been his. 
“Yeah. I’m not so useless after all.” Beomgyu’s reply is short and bitter. 
“What?” 
Yeonjun’s words ring in your ears. If I was in love with a girl and another guy gave her what I couldn't. I would be pretty bummed out too. Is this Beomgyu being insecure like Yeonjun said?
But before you can get him to clarify what he means, Haeun comes running over, incapable of leaving him alone for more than a minute. Can you really blame her? If you had him, you would never let him go either. 
“Baby, there you are! My star boy.” She throws her arms around him, pulling him into an open mouthed kiss that makes you want to vomit. 
You quickly retreat, not having missed the soft-core porn you used to witness while living with Beomgyu. Fucking Yeonjun, is this what he calls Beomgyu being in love with you? You don’t see him pushing her away or anything. He seems pretty happy with the kiss if his tongue in her mouth is any indication. 
"Foul." You mutter, swigging your cider, almost choking on it when a voice speaks up next to you. "That can't be good for the heart, huh?" 
You look at Yeonjun sheepishly, not sure if you can talk to him about this. After all, you did break up because of your love for the man currently getting his face sucked off by Haeun. So you just settle on mumbling out a weak yeah.
"Well, you know you could always fix it by confronting him about his undying love for you." He tells you and you can’t help but snort, annoyance overcoming your trepidation. "Yeah, right. He's so heartbroken, he's going to drown his sorrows in her pussy." 
“He’s just doing this because he thinks we’re still together. If he knows you’re free, I can guarantee you he’ll be dropping her so fast she won’t hit the ground before he’s on his knees for you.” 
“How can you be so confident?” You ask and he shrugs. “Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.” 
He walks away, leaving you to think over his words. Funny, that’s how you feel about the sight still playing out in front of you, the disgusting view getting burned into your retinas. 
Deciding you needed a break, you slip away from the living room, heading towards the bathroom to wash your face off. But on the way there, you pass by your old room, stopping when you see the door slightly cracked open. 
Your feet take you inside without you realizing it, compelled by curiosity to see what he’s done with the room in your absence. Has he turned it into a gaming room? Is he using it for storage? Is he letting her use it as her own? Oh, god, you really hope not. Anything but that. 
But you’re surprised when you step inside and find it mostly empty except for your old mattress and a few items you must’ve forgotten during your move. A T-shirt here, a sleeping mask there–they were all strewn around on your bed with the odd piece of clothing from Beomgyu himself in the mix. 
You step closer, examining the items when something in particular catches your eyes. A flash of pink under a pillow that makes you reach forward to pull it out, realizing just what it was once it’s in your hands–a pair of pink panties. Your pink panties that you’d been missing for a while. Why does Beomgyu have this? You thought he just used this because he was so pent up he needed any form of release but now Haeun is never off his dick so why does he still do this? 
Could Yeonjun have been right all along?  
As you continue to hold it in your hands, puzzling over it, you hear the door open and close behind you and Beomgyu’s panicky voice calling out your name. 
"What are you doing in here?" He squeaks as if this wasn’t your room. Well, your old room but still. It’s not like he made any changes to it yet. 
You turn to face him with the panties in your hands, silent, and his eyes grow wide as he stammers, trying to explain himself. “These are old.” 
“They’re wet.” You say plainly, which means he has just used them, and he knows it too. 
He scoffs, attempting to appear unaffected. As if this is just a completely reasonable situation that you’ve blown way out of proportion. “Well–it’s just–they were on hand.” He gives you what may possibly be the flimsiest excuse in history. 
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
"Did you leave these out for me to see?" You question, and he rushes to deny. "No! I just forgot to put them away."
His eyes widen again at what he just said, basically admitting that he took them from you on purpose to do with them exactly what you had in mind. God, he's such a stupid loser. 
You walk towards him until you’re standing right in front of him, leaving him no room to breathe. “Make everyone leave.” 
“It’s our celebratory party, I can’t just–”
You grab his hand and put it under your skirt, pressing his fingers against your warm pussy. “And I want to give you your reward. Make them leave.” 
He looks at you, shocked, and suddenly you realize what you're asking of him. You're coming onto him after weeks of ignoring him. You're asking him to have sex with you when he has a girlfriend–when he thinks you have a boyfriend. Oh god. 
But then he gulps and says. "Okay."
You watch from behind the door as he stops the music and kicks everyone out, telling them that he doesn’t feel good and needs to rest, and when Kai complains loudly, he asks him if he’d like to stay back and hold his hair while he vomits. That quickly convinces everyone to take the party elsewhere, even his girlfriend. But one person knows better, and you see him peeking around Beomgyu to catch your hidden eyes. You share a look before he turns around and leaves the apartment. This is it. You’re going to do this. 
As soon as Beomgyu comes back, you pull him into a kiss, releasing your overflowing nerves with each frustrated and needy moan you let out against his lips. Fuck, you missed kissing him so much. His lips may not be as soft as Yeonjun’s–he may not be as good of a kisser–but god does he still make your heart sing. 
“Strip.” You order when you finally tear yourself away from him, though Beomgyu doesn’t make it easy, resisting you the first couple of times you try and pulling you right back into the hungry kiss. But you finally do, and Beomgyu doesn’t hesitate to follow your cue then. 
After he’s all stripped down, he looks at you, gaze speaking of his own need to devour you. “Will you strip too?” 
“Do you want it?” You ask, putting on an alluring voice but deep down you were just nervous about letting him see you fully for the first time. Even though your experience with Yeonjun has made you gain confidence, you’re still insecure, especially when it comes to Beomgyu. You want to impress him. You want him to think you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. You want him to forget about her. You want him to only think of you. 
Naturally, that is a lot to live up too. 
Beomgyu nods enthusiastically, somehow managing to come across as adorable in this situation. “Yes, please. Take it all off.” 
He tries to reach out to do it himself but you shake your head, pushing him onto the bed. 
“No. We do this my way.” You tell him, and he nods again, keeping himself in check. 
You reach for the zipper on your dress, hesitantly letting it fall to the floor. You aren’t wearing any bra so now you are almost nude except for your panties as you stand in front of him. 
“Fuck. You’re so hot.” He takes his cock into his hand, pumping it as he leers at you. You should feel dirty having him openly masturbate to the sight of you but it makes you feel so fucking good about yourself. It’s just what you needed–for him to show you how much he wants you. “Please, take off your panties too. Wanna see your pussy.” 
Despite his lewd display–or more accurately because of it–you’re given the courage to finally fully undress yourself in front of him, overcoming years of insecurities of what he’ll think of your body and any unfavorable comparisons he might make.
“Oh fuck–” He licks his lips, squeezing his cock as he stares at your pussy. “You’re perfect.”
“You think so?” You ask demurely, trying to hide your shock. Is he really telling the truth? It feels like it but you still need confirmation after years of doubting yourself.
“God, yes. Your tits are divine. I wanna suck on them and play with them all night. Your little pussy is so pretty, I wanna be buried in it forever. Come here, please, ride me, sit on my face, anything…” 
Is this what you were worried about all these years? He looks pretty fucking happy with what he’s seeing. Why were you so scared? You’re so mad at yourself for wasting all this time with self-doubt when you could’ve had him long ago. 
“You really need that?” You throw your panties at him, feeling more confident than ever after his proclamations. “Isn't this usually enough for you?” 
“No, please, you said you’d give me a reward." He whines, distraught at the thought of you being so close but not attainable yet again. "I’ve been good.” 
“Have you?” You scoff, straddling him, pressing your pussy against his cock and his body goes limp, letting you do what you want. “You’ve been nothing but a horndog, getting your rocks off wherever you can, whether it’s backstage getting sucked off by her or stealing my panties and fisting your cock with them. You’ve been such a bad boy.” 
“I’m sorry.” He slurs, mouth hanging open. 
"Are you? You seem to be enjoying this." 
"I'm sorry." He repeats again, staring at your pussy as it moves forwards and backwards over his cock, covering it in your slick. 
"You're fucking hopeless, Beomgyu. You'd do anything to get a piece of me, huh?"
"Yes." He nods eagerly, "Can you sit on my face?"
You laugh, climbing up his body until you’re hovering over his face and digging your fingers in his hair to keep his head down so he wouldn’t make any unwanted moves before you’re ready. "Is my pussy the only thing on your empty brain?"
"Uh-huh." He says dumbly, almost going cross eyes with the way he's staring at your pussy. You fucking love it. This is what you needed–to be needed. And Beomgyu gives it all to you without you even asking for it. 
"Good boy." You tell him and he shoots you a searing look at that–at you finally calling him that again–before you sit down on his face. 
You try not to put too much weight on him, not wanting to hurt him but Beomgyu has other ideas. He grabs your ass and pulls you down on his ready mouth, tongue flicking out to give eager licks to your already wet pussy. 
"Bad–bad boy–" You hiss, pulling at his hair but he won't let go, too intent on eating you out, nuzzling his whole lower face into your pussy, his tongue and lips alternating between long messy licks and needy sucking motions, his nose brushing against your clit every now and then in his fervor. 
"Fuck, Beomgyu slow down." 
But that word isn't in Beomgyu's dictionary, not when he's wanted this for so long. His fingers dig into your ass, making sure you can’t escape as his tongue presses inside your hole, flicking around as much as he can while your pussy flutters around it.
"So good–tastes so good." He slurs, drool and your juices covering his lower face but he doesn’t even care. In fact if anything it turns him on if his hard, leaking cock that you see when you throw a glance backwards is anything to go by. 
"You fucking the air, Beommie?" You pant, not faring much better than him but needing to tease him anyway. "Need my pussy this bad?"
But Beomgyu can't be teased. Not when he's so shameless. 
"Yes. Will you sit on my cock?" 
"How bad do you need it?" You sit up, pulling away from him and cutting off strings of your combined need. 
"So bad. Feels like I might die without it." 
"You sound like a horny fuckboy, Beommie. You know I only like good boys." You chastise, and Beomgyu shoots back, "Is that why you’re dating a whore?"
You growl, sinking back on his face, this time not caring so much about your weight over him. "Don't talk about Yeonjun like that."
He turns his face to the side to nip at your thigh in protest so you just straighten his head again and sit down on him fully, not allowing him any space to move. "You know the only whore here is you. So stick your tongue out like a good whore and let me ride it or I'll leave your dirty cock all red and weeping."
He whines in fear, sticking his tongue out for you, not daring to risk it. You move yourself over him, grinding your pussy over his tongue as he stares up at you pleadingly. 
“You like it, baby? You like me using you to get off?” 
He moans out in response, not having any other way to communicate his agreement and not willing to pull away from you. But you hear a wet noise coming from behind you and you look back to see him fisting his cock, clearly excited by it all. He wants this as much as you do. He has been begging for it for so long, and so you’re not so cruel as to make him take his hand away, but you need to make sure your excitement doesn’t end too soon. 
“Fuck, you really wanted this, huh? Can’t help yourself whenever you get a taste of this pussy?” You tease, and he whines again, his cock thrusting into his own fist pitifully. “But don’t get too excited. You want to feel this pussy around you, don’t you?”
The needy noises he keeps letting out vibrate against your pussy, driving you even wilder as you pull on his hair harshly and desperately grind yourself on his tongue, your high so close you could taste it. 
“Good boy, gonna make me cum… you want it? Want me to cum all of that pretty face?” You growl, and his hands leave his cock to grab your ass, pressing you so tightly against him, you worry that he won’t be able to breathe. 
But Beomgyu clearly loves it. He wants you to do it. He moves your hips so you’re fucking his face harder, faster, all while those slutty eyes of his never leave your face. 
“I’m cumming–fuck, Beommie… good boy–” You scream, shuddering as you cum over him. But as you stop moving, paralyzed by the intense orgasm, he starts moving his tongue, lapping up every drop you let out, giving your pussy open mouthed filthy kisses as he wraps his lips around you and eagerly sticks his tongue into your hole to get even more. 
You have to pull away from him when it becomes too much, and Beomgyu chases after you, not having had his fill yet somehow. He's still so needy that he ends up pushing you down and laying over you, his lips incessant against yours as his cock lays heavy on your pussy. 
You tug on his hair, finally detaching his lips from yours. "That's enough, Beomgyu."
“I made you cum.” He says in a daze, a stupid smile on his face. 
“Yes, you did.” You wipe his bottom lip with your thumb before sticking it in his mouth, letting him suck on it. It’s useless of course. The entire bottom half of his face was glistening with your cum. Not that you were actually trying to clean him up. You liked seeing him covered in you too much. “Ready for your reward, baby?” 
“Fuck, yes, please.” He groans, his hips bucking up against you, gliding his cock against your wet pussy. "Wanna fuck you so bad. Can I put it in now?"
"Are you gonna keep being a good boy for me? Gonna listen to my instructions and not let your cock take over your dumb brain and make you hump me like a dog?"
He shakes his head even though he was literally humping you right now. "I'll listen. I'll be so good."
"Okay, Beommie. You can put it in–slowly!" 
He rushes to push his cock inside your pussy, only stopping when it's all the way inside you. "Oh god–I'm finally inside you. Wanted it for so long."
This is exactly what you had been missing. This is what you needed that Yeonjun wasn't able to give to you. Beomgyu isn't shy when expressing how much he wants you. He'll beg and plead until you give it to him. 
"Can I move, baby?" He asks, voice strained with the effort of holding back. 
You nod. "Go ahead. But slowly."
He makes a valiant effort, pulling his hips back and thrusting in slowly, shuddering every time his cock is fully enveloped by your pussy. 
“Good?" You ask as if his mouth wasn't hung open, as if his eyes weren't all hazy, as if he wasn't holding onto you for dear life.
"So good. Can't believe I'm fucking you."
Neither can you. You had really begun to lose hope but here you are, laid on your back with Beomgyu fucking you, following your instruction as best he could–the strain of it obvious on his face. It's everything you wanted and you finally have it. 
"Can I touch your tits?" He pleads, giving you his classic puppy eyes and you smile. "Go ahead, honey." 
He groans, reaching out and cupping them in his hands. "Oh god. Missed them." He leans down and attaches his lips to them, biting and kissing all over them as his hips pick up speed. 
"Beomgyu…" You warn, pulling on his hair. He fights against you, looking up but not detaching from your tits. "Don't get ahead of yourself now. You want me to feel good too, don't you?"
He nods, his face still firmly buried in your lips but finally letting go of your nipple to moan out, "Yes, wanna make you feel better than anyone else." 
His own words rile him up and he bites down on the skin next to your areola, making sure not to hurt you but still expressing his frustration. 
"You're such a bratty baby." You scold him, but in reality you love it. You love how possessive and needy he is acting. It doesn't allow a single negative or insecure thought to enter your mind. How could it when he's so obvious about his need for you? "You can go faster now, baby."
"Oh, thank you." He groans, hips picking up speed. 
"Better, honey?" You pant, brushing his wet hair out of his face so you can fully see how lost he is in the feeling of your pussy wrapped around him. 
"So much better. Never wanna stop." He leans down, kissing you harshly, lips opening and closing around yours, his tongue pressing into your mouth hungrily. His hands grab at your thighs, pushing them against your body as he goes even faster, a constant stream of whines and whimpers released into your mouth. 
You force yourself to sober up despite the smoldering fire breaking out in your body from the way he's fucking you so good. You want him to keep going. You want him to keep fucking you until your mind has turned to mush and your limbs have turned to jelly. But you can’t let him have it this easily. You can't let him get away with the amount of pain and suffering he has caused you. He needs to feel it too, even if just a fraction of it. He needs to feel the longing and despair he has made you feel for so long. 
"Slow down." You order, pulling his head away from you, doing it extra mean just the way he likes it. 
"No, no, please." He cries, not slowing down. "Please… I thought this was a reward. You’re driving me crazy." 
"Do you want me to push you down and tie your hand to the headboard to make sure you behave?" You threaten, trying to keep your voice under control against the incessant thrusts of his cock into your poor pussy. "It's only gonna be worse for you."
"No. No. Wanna keep touching you." He blabbers, hands groping at every inch of you he could reach, worried you'd make good on your threats. 
"Then be good." You suck in a sharp breath as he pulls on your nipples before kneading the soft flesh.
"I will. I'm your good boy, right?" He slurs, his hips slowing down. 
Damn, he's really addicted to hearing you say that, huh?
"Yes, you are. You’re my best boy." You coo, stroking his soft hair and he nuzzles into your hand like a puppy, seeking any form of contact with you. 
"Thank you." He groans, fingers digging into your skin as he tries to hold himself back, his poor cock screaming at him to just take you like he wants. "So pretty. Look so pretty getting fucked." 
"Yeah? Is it how you imagined it when you'd fuck my panties?" You ask but once again Beomgyu has no shame, his hips faltering at the reminder of his debauched actions. 
"Better. So pretty. So tight. Could stay in your cunt forever." He almost drools at the thought, and you really believe he'd love to do just that. 
"Dirty boy. Dirty little boy going all dumb for me." You stroke his face lovingly and he peers at you with pleading eyes. "Baby, please, hurts… can I go faster?"
"Aw, poor pup, do you need to hammer your cock into my pussy that bad?" You scold, giving his face light slaps. 
"Uh-huh… will make you feel good. I promise." He babbles, his hips already going faster as if he's sure you'll give him permission. 
"No." This may or may not be the one and only time you get to fuck him. You need to savor it. "Slow down."
Your hands go to his hips, clawing at his skin to slow down his thrusts and he relents, albeit begrudgingly. "You're so mean."
"But you love it." You laugh at his tearful pout. "God, you love it so much you can't stop shaking your hips like a whore. It's like you've never been fucked before.” 
"I haven't. You’re my first.” He admits, knocking any remaining breath out of your lungs.
This is his first time. He and Haeun never did it? What the fuck?
"Did you let him fuck you?" He asks, and you stay silent. He knows you’ve fucked Yeonjun. There is no way he thinks you live with Yeonjun and aren’t fucking him. But then again, he hasn’t fucked Haeun, and you were so sure that he did. 
"Did you?" He asks again, an edge to his voice and you nod minutely. "I didn't know. I thought you and Haeun–"
Beomgyu's whole face changes. "God, you're such a slut. Fucking two men at the same time."
You immediately get defensive. Yeonjun was your boyfriend. You had dated for months. You’re not a whore for fucking him. It would be more understandable if he’s referring to the fact (or what he thinks is a fact) of you fucking him when you have a boyfriend, but you’re almost certain that’s not what he’s upset about. He’s just jealous you’ve fucked Yeonjun at all.  "Just because she won't let you put it in, doesn't make me a slut."
That just angers him more, and he practically bends you in half as his dick pumps in and out of you at a brutal pace, his anger at what you’ve done making him lose it, not caring about your instructions anymore. "I hate you."
You laugh, fighting hard to hide the pain his statement elicits in your gut as well as to keep your voice steady as he practically plows his cock into you. God, he makes you so mad but he’s fucking you so good. 
"But you sure love my pussy." 
"My pussy." He growls, catching you off guard once again. He bends his head down to kiss your neck harshly, and can already feel the marks blooming there under his teeth. "Mine. Not his. All mine."
"What?” You sputter. Is this it? Is this how he confesses to you? “Beomgyu, what–”
"Shut up." He smacks your ass, not willing to hear your protests right now. "You've played with me long enough. Now be good and take it." 
Played with him? What the hell is he talking about? You’ve never played with him. But any attempt to get a sane answer out of him right now is useless as the sounds of skin slapping against skin fills the room and Beomgyu latches his mouth onto yours, trying to dominate you in a way he has never attempted to do before–as if he’s trying to prove that you really are his. 
And you are. He may not know it but you’ve always been his.
But his strong facade is paper-thin and you can see right through it to the insecure boy below when he pulls back to look at you. “Fuck, why did you have to be so pretty?”
“Make me cum, Beommie.” You murmur, moving a hand between your bodies to rest over your pussy, your middle and index fingers on either side of his cock as it fucks into you. “Do you feel how wet I am for you? I’m soaking the bed, baby.” 
“Fuck…” He pulls your hand away, taking a look at how wet it has become already before he grunts and pushes one of your thighs against the bed to allow space for his own hand between your bodies, quickly finding your pussy to rub your clit. 
“Oh… oh, fuck… baby…” You gasp, back arching as you’re quickly hurled towards your orgasm. “That’s it, honey. Make me cum on your big cock.” 
He groans, his hips stuttering as your pussy begins to clench around him. “Don’t talk like that. Gonna make me lose it.” 
“It riles you up when I talk dirty to you? Tell you how good you're fucking me?”
He nods. 
“Dirty boy.” You moan out for him, “Do it. Empty that cock inside me. Want my pussy dripping with you.” 
“Holy s-shit,” Beomgyu cries, and you feel his cum shooting inside of you, his hips not stopping for a second. And though his thrusts become erratic, his thumb keeps up its assault on your clit until your pussy is clamping down on his cock and milking the last drops of cum from him. “Good girl. My good girl.” 
He fucks you through your orgasm, babbling on about how pretty you are and how well you took it. He looks so fucking pathetic with his shiny eyes and needy whimpers that before you even know it, he’s ripping another orgasm out of your already fucked out body. 
“Goddammit, Beomgyu…” You squeal, toes curling at the very intense second orgasm, your body shuddering with the unexpected sharp waves of pleasure racking through it. And through it all, Beomgyu continues fucking you. You can feel his cock begin to harden once again inside you, and as the brutal second orgasm leaves your body, you wince at the overstimulation, putting your hands against his sweaty chest and starting to push him away.  
“That’s enough, Beomgyu. I can’t take any more.” 
But he resists you, shaking his head. “One more. Please, one more.” 
“No.” You tell him firmly, “Don’t be bad. Pull out.” 
He searches your face for any hint of leniency, his big pretty eyes trying to convince you to change your mind but you can’t. He’s fucked you so hard, your poor pussy requires a much needed rest. 
You both watch as he slowly pulls out, his once again hard cock glistening with your cum and his, his seed dripping down your ass now that he wasn’t plugging your pussy up. 
“Oh, baby, does that hurt?” You coo, grabbing his cock. He lets out a sigh of relief as you begin stroking it. “Yeah. So bad.” 
The little shit is milking this, but you play along. “Poor baby. Let me make it go away.” You grin, suddenly speeding up, the slide of your hand so easy when his cock is well-lubricated. You make sure to maintain your position, with him hovering over your splayed open body so he can rake his eyes over it, and you clearly seeing him struggling to choose where to look between your tits that jiggle as you jerk him off quickly, the cum leaking out of your puffy pussy, and your swollen lips as you swipe your tongue over them. 
It doesn’t take long for you to have him spilling his seed again, landing on your tummy as he doubles over and buries his head in your neck. 
“That’s it, good boy.” You praise him, using your free hand to stroke his long hair that you love so much. 
You let him lay there for a whole, catching his breath that is so irregular and stuttered that you almost don’t notice when he starts crying if it wasn’t for the hot tears falling on your skin. 
“Beomgyu?” You call out, and a heart-breaking sob breaks out of his chest. 
"Please, come back to me." He croaks against your neck. 
"What?" You sit up, making him sit up with you and pulling his face away from your shoulder so you can look at him, your heart sinking at the tears streaming down his face. "I can't fucking bear seeing you with him any longer. It hurts so much."
Oh fuck. 
"Beomgyu… Yeonjun isn't–" You try to explain that you and Yeonjun had broken up but he cuts you off. 
"It's not him, it's you!" He shouts, "I love you and I can't bear it any longer. And I know it's selfish and that you don't love me back, at least not in that way, but then you keep messing with me."
He loves you? He really loves you?
"But I thought you loved Haeun?" You need to know what exactly is happening with him and Haeun first. 
"I thought I did too but whenever I'm with her, I find myself thinking of you. You’re always in my head, it ruins every moment I have with her. She hates you too, you know? She can't stand how much I love you. The reason we haven't fucked is not because she won't put out. It's because I only want you. I didn't want to lose it to anyone else but you."
"Beomgyu–"
"But you don’t fucking care. You just see me as your disgusting best friend who you can play with and push away when you're done with him and I can't even bring myself to hate you for it. That's how much I love you. So just please… please give me a break."
“You think I was playing with you?” The idea seems absurd to you. How can he possibly think that? You've done everything in your power to not show how much you love him but never in your wildest dreams would you think that would mean he would see it as you playing with him. 
“Weren’t you? I mean the way you spoke to me… you always pushed me away. I had to beg each time for you to even kiss me.” He peers at you, pain and vulnerability shining in his eyes as he recalls the way you treated him. 
Fuck, you've been so obsessed with not letting your love for him show that you've done the same thing to him you thought he was doing to you. Knowing that pain all too well, you can’t bear the thought of being the cause of it.
You grab his face in your hands and kiss him, intending to pour out your own feelings the same way he did, hoping to staunch the flood of heartbreak you’re witnessing and calm him down enough for him to realize you feel the same way. 
But his reaction wasn't what you expected. He breaks down crying. "You're so cruel."
"No, no! I love you too!" Your hands are in a flurry around his face, wiping his tears, stroking his hair, caressing his cheeks, anything to calm him down.
"What? This is not funny." He sobs, looking like a wounded animal. Your heart aches at the sight. 
"No, fuck, I've loved you for years! The whole friends with benefits thing I started was just an excuse to have a way to be with you."
He stares at you in utter shock, the confusion the only thing stopping his tears from drowning you. "But you never even hinted that you liked me. You called me all kinds of names, freak, disgusting, pervert…"
"I thought you liked these..." You trail off sheepishly. 
"I did but it still makes a guy think.” He mumbles, his fingers playing with yours nervously. “You wouldn’t let me touch you or kiss you." 
"I was afraid if I let you kiss me, I wouldn't want you to stop. And I didn’t want you to touch me because I was afraid you wouldn’t like what you saw." It sounds so silly now that you're saying it out loud–now that you know he loves you and has wanted you just as badly.  
"That's stupid. I had already seen it all." He tells you casually and you frown. "When?"
"You don't always shut the door when you're changing." He shrugs. 
"Pervert!" You gasp, hitting him with no real power behind it. "What about you? You never hinted at anything either.  You only ever talked about my body."
"Well, it did start just physical but I quickly realized that I'm in love with you. Then I kept only mentioning your body because you'd freak out on me whenever I hinted at anything else."
"Fair." You pout, realizing you’ve done as much to hurt yourself as he did. 
"I didn't want to let it show that I loved you because I was so afraid you'd pull away like you did a couple of times. And then you were with Yeonjun and it fucking killed me so I had to pretend it was just sexual."
"Oh god, that's exactly what I've been doing.” You cover your face with your hands, mortified at your stupidity. We're fucking dumbasses."
“Yes, we are.” He replies fondly, taking your hands away from your face so you can look at him, refusing to let you hide anymore. "So you'll break up with him and be with me?"
"We broke up a while back.” You admit sheepishly. “He said he can't be with me when you and I are clearly in love with each other."
“So let me get this straight, Yeonjun could tell we love each other but somehow we, the two people involved, didn’t have a clue?” He raises an eyebrow at you and you nod. “I think it’s safe to say we won’t be winning any genius awards anytime soon.” 
“We could win the biggest dumbasses award though.” He cracks a smile, pulling you close to him and resting his forehead against yours. 
“No one could even compete.” You grin, kissing him. He immediately deepens the kiss, frantic and hungry still. 
“Whoa, whoa, slow down, Beommie. We have all the time in the world.” You tease as if you weren’t just as needy, making him whine. “I can’t help it. You made me yearn for so long.”
“Yearn? Oh, that’s bad. I made you use the word yearn.” 
He yanks your legs up, sending the rest of your body flying backwards and hitting the mattress, your loud giggles quickly covered by his mouth as he kisses you harshly, his teeth biting down on your lips in annoyance when you still don’t stop laughing. 
“Stop it.” He whines in defeat as he pulls back, and you try to keep your giggles under control, his pout is entirely too devastating to look at. 
"Are you gonna break up with her?" You ask and he doesn't hesitate to say, "Of course."
That makes you smile, happy with how easily he chose you, but then a thought pops into your mind and you frown. "You know, I hated her but I still feel kinda bad for fucking you behind her back." You really do. You've never condoned cheating, even if it was on someone as vile as Haeun. 
"Oh you mean the same way she fucked the whole football team?" He counters and you gape at him, "God damn. Why did you even stay with her for that long?"
He shrugs. "Needed a distraction. And to not come across as a loser in front of you. I mean you were with Yeonjun. I couldn't just be alone."
"Oh, honey…" You coo, but anything you planned to say is suddenly forgotten as you feel his cock pressing against your entrance. 
"Beommie!" You squeak. “What are you doing?” 
"You thought we were done? You spread your legs for my bandmate. I'm gonna have to look at him every day knowing he had you first. I gotta make sure you and everyone else knows who exactly you belong to."
It may not be the most healthy coping mechanism, but you’ll let him have it for now. You’re sure you wouldn't be very happy if you were in his position either. Besides, getting to fuck Beomgyu isn’t exactly what you would consider a punishment. 
_________
A/N: Click here for the Yeonjun ending on Patreon.
Also for my patreons, you could suggest a scene from gyu's pov and I'll choose one. There will also most likely be some drabbles about oc and gyu's life after the ending (mostly smut featuring our favorite desperate boy lol) and some will be released on tumblr and others will be exclusive to patreon.
Patreons may also suggest a continuation of a previous fic/drabble. I will do my best to release at least something monthly on there.
Taglist: @blxxsss@sanasour@tinkw1nks@lol6sposts@zuzuhasablog@beomsl@seolis-world@stantxtorurmissingout@wonwooz1@yaorzu-blog@allylikesdabee@rkivezzs@malieno@leviathanlee26@yomomas-stuff@kurisaiyunobara@girlwholovekpop@zuzuhasablog@viaaasdiary@ho3forkpop@skzvcr@th3-3d3n-g4rd3n @izzyexe @boomfrogg @kpop-cakepops-recs @chronicallygyu @girlwholovekpop
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espinosaurusrexex · 1 year
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!this is a repost because something was wrong with the original!
Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun with this. Already looking forward to all the other imagines lined up 🥰
Secret Relationship (Bingo Game)
!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!
BuckyBarnes x Female!Avenger!Reader
word count: 1.4k
warnings: fluffy af, little angst
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Your eyes stared over the coffee mug at him from across the room. He was stealing glances over to the kitchen in which you sat as Sam and Tony tried to convince him to meet the smoking hot yoga teacher bachelorette the two of them had found for him this week. 
You felt a little bad for him, to be honest. Bucky seemed exhausted from their constant nagging. It was weird to see the two men together like this. Normally, Tony and Sam would just pass in the hallway with subtle nods. But when it came to finding a woman for Bucky, the two could be mistaken for best friends. 
“Her name is Ronda and she is hot.”
“Mhm. Gives hot yoga a whole new meaning.”
“That’s right. And she’s willing to meet you!”
“Well, I’m not willing.”
“Why are you always like this, Bucky? We go out and we find you a nice girl and you decline every time.”
“Maybe he’s like this because Dr. No over here isn’t getting laid. Which is why you should go on this date.”
“I don’t need to get laid to be in a good mood, Tony.”
“We don’t know that. You’re always grumpy and you’re most certainly not getting laid. Doesn’t sound like a coincidence to me.”
“Oh, that definitely isn’t a coincidence.”
“I’m a scientist I know that stuff.”
“Yeah, he’s a scientist. Listen to him.”
“Shut up, Sam.”
But Bucky was panicking, you could see it in his eyes. He wanted to say it, that he didn’t want to go on dates because was already dating you. But you had forbidden him from doing so. It was better this way, and he had not spoken up when you suggested keeping your relationship a secret for now. 
With a small smirk, you got off your chair.
“Have you two geniuses ever thought about your annoying banter being the reason for his bad mood?” You sauntered past the men with your mug still in hand, the other slightly grazing Bucky’s back on your way to the door. You could feel his muscles relax just from the small touch. 
“How are we being annoying? We are literally helping him get some.”
“I don’t need to get any!” 
That was the last thing you heard Bucky shout frustratedly when you entered the hallway, a small chuckle leaving your lips before you went to your room to finish the report you had yet to hand in. 
-❁-
It wasn’t long before Bucky entered your room with an exhausted sigh. He leaned against the closed door when you looked up and then proceeded to approach you at your desk, where he leaned over your shoulder, arms caging you to his chest and chin nuzzling in your neck. 
“They’re the worst,” he mumbled into your sweater before placing small kisses along your neck. 
“I know, baby.” You stroked his arms. “For the geniuses, they claim to be, they’re really hardheaded.”
“I feel like it’s just me they’re bothering with this. For all they know, you are single too.”
Another pang went through your chest. Bucky had not been part of the team for long. And you had spared him all of the details about most members that Steve hadn’t already told him about. 
There was a reason why Tony and Sam didn’t suggest eligible partners to you, and that was because you had multiple suitors amongst the team and beyond already. If you wanted to have someone, they just assumed you would get them. Not to mention the total embarrassment they had witnessed when you had rejected Pietro in front of the team during movie night. You hadn’t meant to, but he had sprung it upon you without warning, and you hadn’t wanted to lead him on. 
Then there was Peter, the intern, that harbored a silly schoolboy crush on you since he had gotten his first action figure of you, and letting him down gently was harder than you had thought. Tony and Sam, especially, had gotten amusement from the frequent serenades and suggestive fan mail you received. They even suggested an “open mail + wine night” for their personal entertainment one time. And, well, you didn’t say no to wine and gossip. 
But despite all this, it wasn’t the reason why you wanted to keep your relationship a secret. Bucky had been closed up from the very first time Steve introduced him to the team. It had taken two months for him to reply to simple questions such as if he wanted coffee, too. But somehow, you had the honor of being the first person he trusted after Steve. And once you had gotten to know him better, he was the sweetest person ever. Caring, funny, charming - very touchy. But you were scared this would go away once everyone started teasing him about it. So yes, it might have been to protect Bucky, but it felt more and more like personal gain to you. 
“I want you to know that I don’t need Yoga Brenda, or Coffeeshop Mandy, or anyone else. I just wanna tell them that I’m already dating the most gorgeous woman they could ever find.”
“You are wonderful, do you know that?” Your head leaned against his shoulder when you felt Bucky smile into the crook of your neck. “And I guess I could deal with a little more PDA - warm the team up to it slowly.”
“Sounds like a great plan.” And with that Bucky turned your chair and pulled you up and towards the bed. “Until then,” he patted his lap once he sat down, “I demand a kiss for every time I had to vouch for us.”
You smirked before straddling him. “Oh, I’ll gladly pay up, then.”
-❁-
You knew Bucky was touchy, but now that he had permission to do so outside your rooms, it lit a whole new fire within you. You couldn’t reach the cupboard? He would press up against you with a hand on your hip and get whatever item you needed. You walked through a door? You bet he would hold that thing open until you were all the way through. 
But those were just the, in his way, subtle approaches for when everyone was around. When the two of you happened to catch a quiet moment, he wouldn’t hesitate to hug and kiss you in every common area of the compound. 
You didn’t mind it too much - Bucky was a great lover all around. But you were still a little nervous as to what the team’s reaction would be. You had already gotten glimpses of it. A raised brow from Natasha, who really was just surprised it had gone past her for so long. A double take from Pietro when Bucky brushed an eyelash from your face. And a knowing smile from Wanda, who to be honest, had probably known all along - your thoughts weren’t exactly subtle... or PG.
Though you had yet to see Sam or Tony react to the increase in affection Bucky gave you. It wasn’t unusual that he asked you to train or make a joke - you were friends in everyone’s eyes. But it would become obvious if he kept up the thing he was doing right now. 
Bucky had just swiped some chocolate from your face in the kitchen, and when Clint had left the room, Bucky’s hand just lingered on your face. You were staring at him. And every time those eyes gazed into yours, it was hard to remember that there was a world around you. 
“I like this,” Bucky smirked when his thumb grazed over your cheek. His mouth followed shortly and soon he was stealing pecks from your soft lips.
“It is very nice,” you admitted flustered from the kisses, your hands now grabbing at his shirt. 
“See, it’s not so bad.”
You just hummed in response when Bucky patted your ass affectionately.
“Ahhh! What did I just see?” Sam’s eyes were wide, his head immediately snapping to Tony. You just sighed as you leaned against Bucky’s chest. It had to happen sooner or later...
“Holy smokes, Barnes. Had we known you got Miss Unattainable, we would have shut up a long time ago.” Tony whistled in acknowledgment before he approached the fridge and retrieved a water bottle.
Bucky just looked at you with a lazy smile, his hands rubbing up and down your back. It was nice not to hide anymore.
“What can I say?” He was looking into your eyes when he spoke. “She likes to keep me to herself.” And when you responded with a smile, he leaned in and kissed you shamelessly.
“Geez, get a room,” you heard Sam mumble gruffly. 
But all you could do was giggle as Bucky hid his smile in the crook of your neck, his scruff tickling your skin and the weight of the secret falling from your shoulders.
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cheenapri · 2 months
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Transactional [Yandere Illumi Zoldyck x Reader]
Day one
Summary: Illumi had decided to spoil you for once, little did you know how much it would cost you in the end.
Word count: 7.6k
Notes: yandere, kidnapping, gender neutral reader, unhealthy relationships, unbalanced power dynamics, mentions of past abuse, Illumi is kind of an asshole but when is he not, reader is not having a good time
Day two + three
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Shit.
Why didn’t you figure this out sooner?
You had deluded yourself into believing that maybe he felt bad, that he had actually changed for the better, for your wellbeing, that he actually wanted to treat you for once just to make you happy.
Of course not.
There’s always a catch. It was chiefly for his benefit under the guise of strengthening the involuntary relationship you had with him.
“Fate brought you to me. And thus, it is my duty to protect you.” he explained over and over during his many lectures, trying to drill it into you. 
He had only given the illusion of change.
You held your breath, his body looming over you with one hand interlaced with your own and the other straddling your hip to keep you still. He left bite marks on your neck, too rough and inexperienced to be interpreted as anything affectionate, though what he intended, blood quick to seep out of the wounds. He had slowly lapped it up, taking far too long for it to be seen as any sort of foreplay. A part of you wondered if he changed his mind and decided to cannibalize you instead. 
He didn’t really care how strange his actions were, though. He had you right where he wanted you — where you should’ve been long ago. He moved like he was following a script; his long, black hair draped down as he went in for more “love bites”. His face was expressionless as always, cementing just how empty this relationship was. How did he develop such a twisted sense of love?
You question why he even bothered preparing you for this, though you appreciated it for once, as he took the time to organize a five day vacation with you – or rather order the butlers to organize it. What was the point? Everything was lifeless and awkward, just like back at the estate. Was this the only sense of normality he was willing to give you? 
Your mind recalls when it was first announced to you, it was through your appointed butler, Shiori. Shiori was around the same age as you, chosen deliberately to increase your chances of opening up to her. He gave her the task, having her inquire about your likes and dislikes, favorite hobbies, movies, fashion taste and more just so he could surprise you with it later. You assumed he’s either too awkward or doesn’t care enough to learn about your interests directly from your own mouth.
Sitting at a white desk in your prison of a master bedroom, you assembled a DIY house kit. It was a little greenhouse, the tediousness of it giving you something to do while you tried to maintain your sanity. The room was windowless, the walls soundproof, and there was only one door, a titanium maximum security door that could only be opened with his permission. A security camera with a speaker loomed above you, seemingly always pointing directly at you.
You try not to think about how many times he’s watched you through that camera.
The distant sound of one of the security gates opening catches your ears. Someone’s coming. 
You set the tweezers down, heart quickening as you continue listening. It doesn’t take long for the door to be unlocked, the multiple clicks ringing throughout the silent room. Audible footsteps could be heard, causing you to relax a little as that was your indication it wasn’t him. You turn as Shiori emerges, swiftly locking the door behind her and standing with her white gloved fingers interlaced neatly in front of her. She smiles at you and you return a half hearted one. 
“Good evening, Master (Name).” she bows her head with formality, her short brown and blonde hair briefly falling over her face. She straightens up again and quickly fixes her hair. “The Master has a message for you. You are to freshen up and dress yourself, you will be escorted outside shortly.”
Your interest immediately piqued. You had only been outside of this room once since you got here – when you attempted your first escape. It was during a time when you had a different assigned butler named Junpei. Junpei had fallen for you in their short time taking care of you, bonding with you in ways no other butler would ever be able to. They were genuine, they actually cared about you and your well-being rather than what their employer had tasked them with. There were no cameras in the room at the time so the two of you made plans to escape whenever they visited under the guise of wanting to keep you company. Unfortunately for you, your captor had already planned for something like this, though he didn’t think anyone had the gall to actually up and do it. Both your and Junpei’s heart dropped to your feet when you saw him standing menacingly outside the first security gate. He was silent, but his bloodthirsty aura spoke for him. You soon found out what it sounds like to physically rip someone apart with bare hands. You actually thought you'd die that night as you found yourself unable to breathe or even think amidst his extreme, malicious aura, eyes widening further when he questions if you truly loved Junpei. You never want to see him like that ever again. 
You were let off with a broken ankle and no one spoke of the incident again. 
Shiori could see your confusion mixed with awe. “That is all I can tell you, Master (Name). It would be best for you to begin preparing yourself now.”
You slowly stood up, looking at your project for a moment as you pondered what he may have been planning. This was strange. He definitely wasn’t rewarding you for good behavior. You’ve already tried that route of buttering him up in hopes he’d let his guard down; he, in fact, did not and you were punished for dishonesty. How would he know what true love was anyway?
You make your way to the large, luxury bathroom, turning on the warm water and letting the shower run for a bit. You hear Shiori’s footsteps through the door, assuming she’s going through your wardrobe and picking your outfit at his request. You hate him. 
You slowly stepped into the tub, the warm water embracing you like a comforting hug. Hot showers restored a bit of your sanity. You liked to stand there and allow the water to splash onto you, imagining you were anywhere but in this hellhole. Shiori, however, encourages you to pick up your speed, well aware of your tendency to reminisce in the shower for far too long. You sigh, stepping out of the tub and finishing your routine. You avoid looking at yourself in the mirror, not wanting to see what months of stress had done to your features. You threw on a fluffy robe before leaving the bathroom. There was an outfit sprawled out on the bed, one you knew he really liked on you though he’s never admitted it, only staring longer than he should.
“Is this some kind of special event?” You ask sarcastically.
It’s a rhetorical question, but Shiori humors you regardless.
“The Master is in a good mood today.” she smiles gently, her voice somewhat monotone. 
She reminded you of him in a way. Why did she even choose to work here? You stare at the outfit for a moment, reluctant to even touch it. Shiori notices your uneasiness, fully understanding your anxiety but feigning ignorance nonetheless. “Is something the matter, Master (Name)?”
“I have a bad feeling about this.”
Your anxiety continues to build. Everything in your strange, unstable relationship with him has been purely transactional. Want dessert? Speak kindly to him. Want a new video game to play? Butter him up but be careful not to overdo it, there’s only so much dishonesty he could allow. Want the privilege of having a full belly for the next three days? Behave. Do everything he says without question, regardless if you have to swallow your pride. So despite all of this, why was he suddenly treating you so graciously? Allowing you to leave your prison cell masterfully decorated to resemble a bedroom belonging to a ten million dollar mansion?
Shiori chuckles a bit. You’re aware of how disingenuous it sounds, but you don’t comment on it. “You shouldn’t worry yourself, Master (Name). The Master has been planning this for a while now, I’m sure you will enjoy yourself.”
Great, now you’re worried Shiori has said too much. You’re no stranger to how strict the Zoldyck family is with their servants, how strict he must be with Shiori. You think of what happened to Junpei again, of the desperate pleas that fell upon deaf ears as he continued to mutilate them, how his expression seemed more uncanny than usual.
Shivering at the thought of it, you drop the topic, not wanting to continue to allow her to dig her own grave but grateful for the hints. You remove your robe, ignoring Shiori’s presence as you’ve changed in front of her countless times, and put on the outfit along with your assigned shoes. 
Shiori confirms that you’re ready before the two of you move to stand in front of the large security door. To say you were apprehensive was an understatement. Perhaps this was your chance to finally escape? No, that would be stupid. Obviously he’d already accounted for that, most likely had medical professionals on standby in case he needed to break your ankle again. Maybe he’d break both of them this time or even saw your legs off. You wouldn’t put it past him.
The multiple clicks of the locks could be heard again before the door was pulled open, multiple butlers on the other side. Shiori steps out and you’re hesitant to follow, not wanting to give away how eager and ready to bolt you were. Not like you could anyway, not with five highly skilled butlers watching your every move. 
Not a word was spoken as they escorted you through the two security gates, your eyes stinging when sunlight poured over you. 
You’re outside. 
You’re actually outside.
You would scream and cry if the situation was different, falling to your knees and feeling the grass on your hands in your frenzied state. 
You look around, taking a mental note of every little thing. You could see the Zoldyck’s mansion in the distance, far away from your separate living structure. Good. 
“Eyes forward, (Name).”
The sudden order breaks you out of your thoughts, your head whips forward while your eyes move to look at the source of the voice. It was a taller, older lady with pink, pigtail type hair. She must’ve been serving the Zoldycks for a long time. She’s silent, giving you a stern look before turning forward again. You fight the urge to look around, to run even, as you’re led through the forest that surrounds the estate.
“Where are we going?” you couldn’t help but ask. Your voice is somewhat soft and timid, but it’s clear they all heard you. 
“It’s just up ahead, Master (Name).” Shiori answers, her hands now folded behind her.
You’re taking in as much information as you can without actually looking around, taking note of the distance between the Butler’s Quarters and your prison cell. Approximately one hundred fifty seven steps, you’ve been counting. An additional two hundred seventy four steps from the Butler’s Quarters to the front gate. Would you even remember this information?
One of the butlers effortlessly pushes open the giant front gate, the feat reminding you just how weak you truly are. Those gates weigh four tons and the bigger gates above it are many times heavier. 
You can’t even begin to describe what you were feeling. A part of you fully believed he had come to his senses and was releasing you like some wild animal, throwing you off of the property and leaving you to fend for yourself. Surely it would be better than going back to that room. 
Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case. Instead of throwing you out and shutting the gate behind them, the butlers led you to a black Mercedes truck sitting in wait.
Your head hurts. You feel like you’re going to throw up. Typical reaction when you know he’s near. You could just die right now. You knew you were bound to see him again, but that doesn’t repress the dread it fills you with.
He’s staring at you through the tinted windows, you can’t see him — you just know it. You don’t want to see him, you haven't had enough time to mentally prepare; you’ll never have enough time to mentally prepare. Shiori steps ahead of you, opening the passage to hell as the Devil himself sits patiently, his black, empty eyes gazing upon you.
You nearly vomit.
You swallow hard, holding your breath in an attempt to mellow out your facial features as you climb into the backseat. You didn’t acknowledge him yet, slowly buckling your seatbelt and staring at Shiori with widened eyes as she shuts the door, sealing you inside with that monster.
It’s suffocating.
Overwhelming.
You forgot to breathe.
Sucking in sharp breaths, you shut your eyes tightly. The silence is deafening. He’s waiting on you. For once.
“H-hello… Illumi.” saying his name was the equivalent of swallowing a cup of hydrochloric acid. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth, pains your throat, your stomach, everything. 
Illumi hums in approval. “Hm. I’m thankful you hadn’t forgotten your manners, (Name). I thought I’d have to discipline you sooner than I anticipated.” you hear him shift, surely turning to fully face you. “I won’t need to, right?” his monotone voice does your ears a disservice despite its smoothness.
“No.” you quickly wipe your eyes, knowing how much he hates seeing your tears. 
You finally force yourself to look up at him, his piercing, cat-like eyes filling you with the unwavering desire to do something drastic. Maybe throw yourself out of the car when it’s moving and hope it runs you over, killing you in the process. 
You look away just as quickly, tightly gripping your pants to quell the need to gouge your eyes out. At least you wouldn’t have to look at him then. He shifts again, facing forward but not looking away from you. “I’ll assume you’re overwhelmed. You’ve missed me so much you don’t know how to convey it.”
“I didn’t miss you. I actually had hoped you died and I’d never have to see you again.” is what you would say if you were fond of getting the life strangled out of you. Instead, you stay silent, staring at your hands intertwined on your lap. 
“What have you been getting up to?”
Shouldn’t he already know? Shiori is his human security camera plus the actual security camera he has in your enclosure. What are you even supposed to say to this? You’ve been rotting in bed and crying your eyes out because you can’t leave? You had thought of creative ways to end your own life? He’d have you restrained to your bed for all eternity if you mentioned that last one. 
“Nothing of interest.” is all you say.
“Tell me. I want to hear it.”
Bastard’s trying to force conversation. 
“I’m working on that greenhouse project Shiori had given me-”
“I had given you.” he corrects. Silence falls over the two of you as the car finally begins to drive off. 
Illumi was always out on missions or some other job, how were you supposed to know it was a gift from him? You wouldn’t have touched it otherwise, preferring to rot in bed than encourage him in the slightest. You’re actually thankful for his extended time spent away doing fuck all, not seeing yourself surviving if you had to physically endure him day and night constantly. Hell, you were barely keeping your composure just sitting next to him and you’d only seen him for two minutes. 
“Thank you.” not knowing what else to say, you simply thank him, hoping he’d be satisfied with just that and leave you alone. 
“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’ve been doing?”
Of course he doesn’t.
“Killing people?” you state the obvious, hoping he wouldn’t interpret that as you trying to be smart. Assassinating people is his job, it only makes sense to assume that’s what he’s been doing. You wish he’d kill you and get it over with. 
“Naturally. Take a better guess.” what the hell does he want from you? You don’t know anything significant about him to be able to give a good guess. You’re clearly stunted, your lack of a response giving it away. He narrows his eyes slightly, reaching out which causes you to flinch. He retracts his hand momentarily upon seeing your reaction before going in again slowly, softly cupping your chin and guiding your head to look at him. “Do you assume I don’t think about you?”
What? He must be fucking with you.
Illumi brings forth his other hand just as slowly, now gently cupping your face with both. You were always shocked by how smooth and soft his hands were. They’re cold though.
“Answer me.”
His owlish eyes were staring directly into your soul, almost hypnotizing you. You shift your head and look away. If you were as bold as you used to be, you would’ve swung on him by now, turning his gentle hands cupping your face into violent claws gripping your throat. It took many lessons for you to learn that you simply could not fight him.
He backs down and lets go of you when you fail to answer, pulling his hands into his lap again. He was aware of your fear, he found twisted comfort in it, believing it would keep you glued to his side. You glance in his general direction but not at his face. He was wearing that purple outfit again and his long, black hair was as silky as ever.
“Aren’t you curious as to where we’re going?” 
He sure was talkative today; Shiori did mention he was in a good mood. He’s usually very blank, even around you, his supposed partner. It forced you to learn to read his emotions using his micro expressions, tone, silent indicators, and of course aura. Aura was mainly reserved for more intense emotions, ones you should avoid inducing at all costs.
You were always on edge whenever you were around him, and this unusual shift in attitude didn’t help. 
“So where are we going?” you finally ask.
“You’ll see when we get there.”
Motherfucker. 
You don’t respond, looking away from him in favor of staring out of the window. You were seated awkwardly, not fully allowing yourself to relax, not that you could in the presence of Illumi. You could almost drown him out completely if it weren’t for his uncanny staring, something you still couldn’t get used to. He barely blinks; it reminds you of some sort of Creepypasta.
“Talk to me.”
It was an order.
“I don’t know what to say to you.” your voice was quiet. You’re really not in the mood to speak right now, especially not to him. This wouldn’t do, however, as Illumi was determined — something that proves to never end well for you. 
“You can talk about anything you want.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“(Name),” it was a warning, a hint of irritation laced his otherwise monotone voice. “Do you really not have anything to talk about… or do you just not want to?”
You didn’t want to clearly, but you also didn’t want to taste his wrath. 
“Could you tell me about your day?” you chose to interview him instead, hoping that if you got him to talk in length, you wouldn’t have to. He brings his hand up to his chin as if he was thinking, his eyes never leaving you. You felt like he was robbing you of your life energy just by looking at you. 
“My day?” he repeated the question, falling silent for a few moments before speaking once more. “If I told you, that would ruin the surprise.”
You reply with a mere “oh” before looking out of the window once again. 
“(Name).”
He’s never been this persistent for your attention before. All the times he’s returned home and “spent time” with you mainly consisted of the two of you sitting in silence while he watched you do nothing; an occasional short and awkward conversation. It felt more like he was being forced to interact with you rather than wanting to on his own volition, despite him being the one keeping you there. 
“I’m sorry, Illumi.” 
You only said his name when you were trying to soothe him, hoping to avoid consequence. He knew that, but he wouldn’t admit that it indeed worked. The slight drooping of his shoulders betrayed him every time, however. 
He doesn’t accept nor reject your insincere apology, choosing to silently savor your calling of his name. You will never understand him.
“I answered you, now it’s your turn to talk. Tell me about your home life.”
This question immediately raised flags. He’s never asked you something like this, let alone allow you to cry about it. You look at him, eyes slightly widen for a brief moment. Was he only bringing this up to bait you into talking? “Don’t you already know everything about me?” 
He indeed did. He made it known to you that he’d stalked you for five months before making his move, talking about it as if he was stating what he had for lunch. He had no sense of morality, no awareness as to how his extreme actions affected others. He’s insane.
You’ve noticed a slight change in his stare. You’re pissing him off.
“I want you to tell me.”
“Uh,” you quickly scrambled for things to say, “I had my own house and car as well as a really good high paying job.” you used “had” for a reason. You were positive that all your assets were repossessed when search parties couldn’t find you and weeks were flying by without a single clue regarding your whereabouts. Illumi keeps staring, quietly pressing you to continue. 
“I had a really sweet dog.” you used “had” again. You don’t recall all the details of that night, only that you had gotten a rude shock when you woke up to a strange man in your bedroom. Surely you would have woken up sooner if you heard something happen, but you didn’t. You decided to ask what you were always afraid to ask before, taking advantage of this moment to finally get closure. “Are… are they okay? My dog?”
Your hesitation was obvious. Nothing good ever happened whenever you brought up members of what he refers to as “your past life.” you were positive he intended for you to talk about things you did alone rather than actual people or living beings you connected with. They didn’t exist anymore, according to him. They don’t matter. Don’t talk about them. 
“Your dog is dead.” 
You’d been preparing for this moment for months now, but the bluntness of his answer still hit you like a truck. “H-huh?”
“Your dog is dead.” he repeated again with no sense of remorse. ”I didn’t want to risk it alerting you to my presence, so I killed it.”
Something felt off that night, your dog was more anxious than usual, pacing back and forth and staring out certain windows. They even refused to go outside when you tried to let them out, their tail tucked between their legs and fur standing on edge. You should’ve known. You should’ve taken them and ran.
It was even worse that you also ignored all those strange people you had met that week. They all had a gold piercing sticking out of some part of their head, almost like a needle. Their words were slurred and their movements puppet-like as they asked you unsettling questions. “Do you have a romantic interest?” as well as  “Do you have any exes?” and “Do you live alone?”
That should’ve been your sign to get the hell out of there. 
Illumi tilts his head and watches you attempt to bottle your emotions. Your hands gripping the fabric of your pants tightly as you bit your lip, your heart was hurting. You’d already mourned for your dear pet, assuming that killer had taken their life when he broke into your house, but still having slight hope that he had spared them. 
Why had he even bothered to answer your question let alone allow you to ask it?
He doesn’t initiate anymore conversation for the rest of the car ride, thankfully, allowing you to simmer in your emotions. That doesn’t mean he averts his attention from you, though. 
The car finally pulls into a parking lot belonging to a grand, luxurious hotel. You’re as confused as you are shocked. The parking lot is empty aside from several black Mercedes trucks holding Zoldyck butlers and presumably cars belonging to the hotel’s employees. It’s a normal working day and this is a well known, upscale hotel, so why was it so empty? 
Illumi looks away from you for the first time since you’ve entered the car, pulling the door’s handle and exiting the vehicle. You didn’t move, you’re too afraid to, you didn’t want to make the wrong move. 
Shiori approaches your side of the truck, but Illumi steps in front of her, opening the door for you and holding out his hand. You slowly unbuckled your seatbelt and attempted to slide past him, he only grabbed you and placed you back into the car before extending his hand again, silently commanding you to take it. He took note of your blatant disobedience, but said nothing, deciding against giving you a much desired punishment. He took what he considered to be a softer approach, giving you a chance to correct your mistakes. 
Feeling as though he’s one inconvenience away from breaking you, you hesitantly take his hand. His grip was firm, his assistance useless. He ignored your attempt at pulling your hand free the second your foot touched the ground, choosing to let go only after both feet were firmly planted. 
Illumi doesn’t explain the situation as he begins walking with you in tow, Shiori and some other butlers trailing behind the both of you. Butlers were all over the place actually, standing guard as if this was a maximum security prison rather than a hotel. You feel like they’re all watching you, fully expecting you to try something in vain. You don’t blame them, if you had super speed, you would’ve run off by now. 
The hotel was completely vacant of people, aside from more butlers and concerned hotel employees. As you enter the lobby, your eyes lingered on the receptionist, praying they had seen your missing person’s report months earlier; if it had even been reported as such. They only look down, guilt seemingly spread across their face. Were they threatened or perhaps even paid off to stay silent? 
Who knows.
The silence was louder than the shuffling of the butlers’ footsteps or the tune of the faint jazz music coming from the ballroom. A butler approaches Illumi and informs him that all preparations were ready, earning them a nod in response. You silently follow as the both of you are led away, the uneasiness on your face evident to anyone who dared to look at it. 
The butler soon stops in front of a particular door far at the end of a long hallway. The space felt liminal, you’d almost think you’d gotten sucked into a different reality if the two people next to you weren’t present. The butler bows slightly before leaving you and Illumi alone. He looked at you, like he was trying to read your expression, before twisting the door’s handle and revealing the room’s interior. 
He must’ve paid a fortune. The room was large, decorated with luscious furniture you couldn’t even begin to think about affording. There was a king size bed in the middle of the room, a flatscreen TV almost as wide as the bed propped on the wall in front of it, a glass sliding door leading to a balcony on the far right, and a lounge chair in the corner to say the least. 
You awkwardly step into the room, hugging yourself as you attempt to make sense of the situation; taking note of the clicking of the door’s lock. 
“Well, here we are.”
His lack of enthusiasm spoiled the mood. Not that the mood was bright anyway.
“So… what’s the point of this?” your voice was a bit low and shy. He didn’t like it, he’d have to chip away at that. He had bigger things to be upset over, however, as you appear, or choose to pretend, to not understand what’s going on. His intentions should’ve been obvious by now. He doesn’t respond right away, causing you to ask yet another ignorant question. “Are we attending some kind of special event?”
“No.” his answer was short, intentionally vague to encourage you to figure it out yourself. Illumi casually moves about the room while you continue to stand in the same spot, presumably checking for himself to make sure that everything was in place. You were on edge, that much was apparent as he stopped a few feet in front of you. “Do you like the room?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I will be back.”
You feel a slight wind as he walks past you, a little too close considering the amount of space around you. You immediately relax once he’s gone, taking a few deep breaths as you cautiously inspect the room. The thought of trying the handle to see if he’d locked it behind him doesn’t even cross your mind, the odds were against you and you knew that. Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t try the balcony door, however.
It was locked, just as you’d guessed. 
Sitting on the edge of the bed and resting your head in your hands, you think in vain of a possible escape. Maybe when he leaves you alone again, you could use something to break the glass then use the bed sheets to craft a makeshift rope? The problem with that is the bedsheets wouldn’t serve you as you were several stories off the ground. Your plan didn’t even account for what you’d do if you even reached the ground as you were sure Zoldyck butlers surrounded the premises.
You decided it was best to just roll with it, see where this was going. Maybe you could exploit him as he does seem to be more lenient with you. 
The door clicks and it opens, Illumi standing in the doorway looking in at you, noticing how much more relaxed you appeared to be in his absence. He motions for you to follow and you do so without fuss. 
Following him down the long hallway felt surreal, you couldn’t hear anything aside from your own footsteps as his were completely silent; traits of an elite assassin. You watch as his long, black hair swayed behind him, almost glaring as you study his robotic movements. He doesn’t feel real.
The two of you entered the hotel’s restaurant, it was just as desolate of other patrons as the rest of the place. You were led to a lone, two person table placed next to the glass wall, the table’s decorations stood out amongst the others as its setting included rose petals and candles. 
Corny. You don’t like this.
You take your seat, now being forced to fully face him for who knows how long. You turn your head to the right, looking out of the window. Your breath hitches as you notice people in the far distance. People. Actual people clueless as to what’s happening to you right now. You give Illumi a side stare, his blank yet judgemental one challenging yours.
“Where is everyone?” you couldn’t help but ask despite knowing it was a question he did not want to hear. 
“They aren’t important.”
Why should they matter? They’d only interfere and distract you from what’s important: him. You should only be focused on him and his efforts to please you. 
“So what exactly is this?”
Your inability, or unwillingness, to comprehend the situation was beginning to annoy him. Wasn’t it clear? Did the dim lighting and candles not give it away? The rose petals on the table? The romantic — or what he deemed to be romantic — atmosphere? 
“It’s a romantic dinner.”
He didn’t offer any further details, upset he had to state that it was a date rather than let his efforts speak for him. You were sitting across from him, the two of you were almost completely alone. This was a date.
“All of a sudden, though? You never let me leave that room before.”
“Why does it matter?” his tone was still flat. 
Illumi couldn’t believe you’d question his acts of kindness. He was doing it because he wanted to treat you for once, deciding to take you somewhere appropriate and fitting to your taste. 
“I’m just trying to understand you.” you state, holding your hands together on the table as a self soothing mechanism. 
“You don’t need to understand me.” his voice hinted at the tiniest bit of annoyance. He had no need to explain his actions, he had his reasons and that’s all you needed to know. “Just enjoy the dinner.”
You say nothing as you turn your attention to the only other people present in the room: the butlers standing at the exits and the chefs working in the kitchen. None of them looked at you, their attention focused on anything but. 
“Don’t stare at them. The butlers are simply here to protect you.” his monotone voice made his last sentence sound oddly intimidating. 
You fight the urge to question if it was him they would be protecting you from in the case that you anger him. 
“It feels like the rapture has happened and we’re the only ones left.” you pick up one of the rose petals, inspecting it as an excuse to avoid his gaze. 
“That would be ideal.” 
“Is something bad going to happen to me?” your forward question caused his thin eyebrows to raise slightly.
“Not if you behave. I just want you to enjoy this date.” his tone was a bit softer now, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t, or forced to be, close to him. He didn’t like your anxiousness, worried it would ruin his meticulous yet futile plans to make amends with you. 
You were still on edge as the butlers served a lavish meal to the both of you, your facial features failing to soften as you inspected the food. He was fully aware of just how much damage he’d done to you and he wasn’t going to justify his behavior, only wanting to make you feel better. 
It was hard for him to stay silent, however, as you were continuing to look around and stare at the butlers.
“Is the sight of them bothering you?” the sound of his voice catching your attention. “I could have them move out of view if that would ease your nerves.”
He doesn’t get it. Maybe he pretends not to, choosing to ignore your uncomfortableness with him in favor of deluding himself.
“It’s not that, it’s just…” 
Your words couldn’t come out, you didn’t know what to say. Ask him to get rid of all the unnecessary escorts and open the hotel to the public again as this felt more like a standoff than a romantic dinner? You hated the silence between you, not that you wanted to speak to Illumi, you wanted to hear the chatter of other diners over the classy jazz music, the clinking of utensils as they enjoyed their meal.
“Oh?” he slowly tilted his head, his uncanny expression observing your every move and sound. It’s as if he was daring you to ruin it all with some sort of stupid comment; it’d give him a reason to drag you back to the estate and lock you away for good. 
“Nothing. It’s nothing.” you manage to finally say. It just wasn’t worth it.
He continues staring, features unmoving as you assume he’s thinking of various ways to brutally murder you. He only straightens himself.
“I see.” 
You’re internally thankful he dropped it, your shoulders drooping in relief as you watch him continue to eat unnaturally fast, a strange habit of his. When was the last time he’s blinked? You can’t stand him. 
Illumi obviously didn’t believe that you had nothing to share. He knew you well enough to guess that whatever you were about to say would’ve angered him, so you kept quiet in order to avoid problems. Good, you were learning. 
Silence fell over the two of you, increasing the tension in the air. He’d already finished eating, choosing to gaze at you rather than anything else. He was making you lose your appetite, but you somehow managed to finish your meal.
“Would you like dessert?” Illumi inquired, barely giving you enough time to chew and swallow your last bite before asking.
“No thanks.” you don’t explain why. The truth was that you didn’t want to sit in front of him any longer, you were tired of his eyes boring into you. 
“Are you sure?” he tilted his head again, pressuring you for a different answer.
“I’m sure.” 
You wouldn’t budge, much to his dismay. You had unknowingly foiled his plans to spoon feed you a strawberry sundae. 
“Very well.” he doesn’t push any further, only slowly nodding. “Did you enjoy the food?”
“Yummy.” 
Illumi didn’t immediately react to your childish response, only straightening himself after a few moments. He had made sure this dinner would be perfect, planning everything to the last detail, and you’ve shown your gratitude by looking at everything other than him and rating his endeavor with a one word answer. 
He remained still for a few more moments before deciding to ignore your strange behavior once again. He stood up from his seat, looking away from you for the first time since he’s sat down. 
“Let’s go.”
You follow him as commanded, taking clear note of his slight annoyance. He led you to the hotel’s theater, the sound of your footsteps slightly echoing in the large, spacious room. He picks two spots in the center and takes a seat, you follow suit. 
Choosing to stay silent, you don’t ask any questions about what movie the two of you were seeing, only staring forward as the lights turn off and the showing begins. Illumi had carefully selected this movie for you. It was lighthearted and fun, chosen specifically to improve your mood. The date wasn’t meeting his expectations, as you weren’t quite throwing yourself at him, but he was determined to change that. 
You tried your best to ignore his constant glancing in your direction for the entirety of the film. It was as if he was looking for something, for reassurance to soothe his ever growing concerns. He didn’t like your indifference, he didn’t like that he couldn’t tell how you were feeling in detail about his attempts at courtship.
The movie was good, you liked it. Illumi was already staring at you by the time you faced him, the credits rolling on the screen. It was subtle but he still looked upset, the image of you leaning away from him as if you were trying to put as much space as possible between the two of you was still fresh in his mind. 
He would break that physical barrier, desensitize you to his presence.
As you silently walk back to the suite, Illumi suddenly grabs your hand. Your heart jumps into your throat, fully expecting him to crush it as punishment for upsetting him. He stops walking and stares at you when you impulsively try to pull away, not saying a word as he gives you a second to collect yourself. 
You were ruining his passionate act of love. He knew he wasn’t the most expressive, as he was raised to mask his emotions, but his straightforwardness made up for that. You should be happy. This is an act of love. He had done his research — asking his father — and knew what he needed to do in order to please you. He won’t let you spoil it. 
Eventually you somewhat simmer down, still tense in his firm hold. He continues walking, slower this time. He wasn’t even holding your hand correctly as yours was balled into a fist. He didn’t care though, as long as he was holding it.
The night hadn’t gone his way but he had plenty more tricks up his sleeve, optimistic that tomorrow would be better. Illumi would not put up with failure. 
You were in for a ride.
You reach and enter the suite once again, Illumi locking the door behind him. He lets out a sigh and begins to settle down, having no issue kicking his shoes off and changing clothes right in front of you. You, however, move to sit stationary on the lounge chair, staring at the ground to avoid any awkward interactions with your naked “husband”. 
You had no desirable reaction to anything he did, which he found disheartening. You finally look up when he’s fully clothed, watching as he sits on the edge of the bed. He decided to risk it, to ask about your experience. He figured a blunt and bold answer would be significantly better than overthinking and assuming the worst. “Did you enjoy anything I did today?”
Truth be told, you did. You just didn’t like him. Had anyone more deserving taken the time to do this for you, you’d throw yourself all over them. 
“It was the typical Illumi experience.” 
You regretted saying that before it even left your mouth. “The typical Illumi experience” was not a compliment, it was a brutal insult disguised with subtlety. You had just compared his month’s worth of intensive planning and preparing to a regular day being around him back at Kukuroo Mountain. 
Something you didn’t like flashed in his eyes, your fingers nervously grip your pants yet again. What you’d just said was so dismissive, condescending, everything he didn’t want to hear. He turns away from you, looking out of the glass balcony door as he takes several slow and deep breaths. He was collecting himself.
He reasoned in his mind, internally arguing that this was his chance to dissect your feelings and see how he could improve. He turns toward you, expression unreadable. “Elaborate.”
“Am I allowed to express myself?” you ask, your question was legitimately innocent. However, you were saying all the wrong things at the wrong time. 
“You were always allowed to express yourself, you just seem to have a habit of doing it disrespectfully.”
“I’m sorry.” you lower your gaze, apology insincere. 
You don’t know why he’s changed. You can tell that he’s being softer with you. If you said something like that a few months ago, you’d be unable to speak for the next two weeks. 
“Do you harbor resentment towards me?”
That was a rhetorical question. He didn’t want an answer; an answer other than a loud, confident “no” anyways. 
You stay silent, continuing to stare at the ground. He didn’t acknowledge that your silence was your way of saying yes. 
“Are we going back tomorrow?” you ask, changing the subject in order to lessen the heavy atmosphere. 
“Back to Kukuroo Mountain?”
“Yes.”
“No.” Illumi doesn’t provide further details. This trip won’t end unless it’s on a good note. “You should get changed.”
He stands up and rummages through the wardrobe, pulling out a silk pajama set. You slowly stand and retrieve it, making your way to the bathroom to change. He assumes you’re just being shy. You eventually come out, having put your dirty clothes into the hamper, before making your way to the lounge chair once again. The lights have been dimmed in your absence.
He was sitting up in bed, halfway under the blankets, staring at you expectantly. You didn’t want to come to terms with the reality that you had to sleep in the same bed as him; that fact wasn’t lost on him. It was obvious you were avoiding having to deal with the inevitable conclusion of the night by seeking comfort on the lounge chair. He wouldn’t allow you that comfort. “Come to bed.” his tone was flat, it was an order. 
“I’m not tired yet-”
“Come to bed.” he wasn’t hearing your excuses, only repeating himself while patting the empty space next to him. You look at him with a saddened expression, silently pleading to be let off the hook; the issue is that he’s let you off the hook multiple times today already and he wasn’t planning on letting you rob him of this. “Do as I say.”
Sensing the impatience in his tone, you reluctantly head over to your side of the bed and slide under the blanket, making sure to curl up as close to the edge and as far from Illumi as possible. You face away from him, silently making it clear you weren’t interested in anything other than sleep. He doesn’t comment on this, choosing to stay silent as he thinks to himself. He wanted to hold you, but he knew not to push too far. At least not so soon.
He sighs, continuing to sit up in bed as he watches your sleeping figure. Tomorrow will be a better day, he’ll make sure of it. 
288 notes · View notes
deathbecomesthem · 6 months
Text
Roomies 2 |
+18 ONLY
Part 1
Eddie Munson x Best friend!reader | ~2.6K
Summary: It's the perfect solution. You need a place to stay, he needs someone to help with the rent.
Warnings: Blood, fighting, a homophobic slur. A very problematic and obsessive ex boyfriend.
---
Drew started calling once in the morning and once in the evening when he figured out where you’ve been staying. His first thought was your sister’s place, and it wasn’t until after the 20th call in an hour that she finally caved and told him where you were. For the life of you, you can’t understand why he’s trying so hard - maybe Janey got boring or something. Maybe with everything out in the open, the affair lost its appeal. All you know is that the idea of having to talk to him makes your skin crawl. Just the thought of the sound of his voice sends a flash of red across your vision.
But you want your shit, and you need the calls to stop.
Brrrrrnnnnnggg - it’s 7:00, evening call time. Eddie looks at you from across the room. He’s sprawled out on the couch with a well worn paperback - The Talisman - held in one hand. His big toe, pushed through a hole in his white sock, is pointing at you accusingly at the sound of the ringing phone. Eddie sighs loudly, and turns a page.
Brrrrrrrnnnnggg - you sip your tea and pretend to ignore the shrill sound, but Eddie’s laying his book on the coffee table and heads to the kitchen with heavy footfalls. You reach your hand out to stop him, but with a clenched jaw he sidesteps your fingers.
“Eddie, just let it go.” You’re up on your feet now, arms wrapped around your waist. Protective and calming. “Please.”
Eddie doesn’t look back at you, he grabs the receiver, knuckles white with his grip, and answers. “Hello?” You hope it’s not Drew, not this time, but you know it is by the way the vein in Eddie’s neck is standing out. “Listen, man, I’ve been very fucking patient. Stop calling here. She doesn't want to talk to you.”
Drew’s voice is loud enough for you to make out the words, “slut” and “motherfucker” - the rest is muffled shouting through the telephone line. Eddie’s face and neck are on fire, and  his eyes are closed while he listens to your ex vomit his rage at him. 
You stride over and try to grab the phone from Eddie’s hand but he holds up his hand, one finger up in a just a sec gesture. He grabs your forearm and gives it a squeeze in reassurance. He’s been doing this lately, stepping into the line of fire so you don’t have to face this thing down. But it’s all coming to a head.
“Listen to me,” Eddie’s voice is calm, but every muscle in his body is tensed, “if you want to talk to her, you’re going to have to fucking kill me first.” You can hear Drew’s voice again, muffled but loud. Eddie booms out loud enough to make you jump back, “Yeah? Big words coming from you, motherfucker!” Eddie slams the receiver back onto the jack, nostrils flaring.
You both stand there for a minute, staring at the phone on its receiver willing it to stay quiet. This is the first time Eddie’s confronted Drew like this, and you don’t like it. You get a flash of Eddie and Drew with bloody knuckles and know that either and both of them have it in them to go too far. All three of you do, it’s a powderkeg of a situation. 
Brrrrnnnngggg - Eddie laughs. He’s quick to slap your hand away from the phone when you reach out for it. 
“Come on, let’s get out of here for a while. Wanna get some food?” Eddie’s back is still to you, but he turns his head and looks for your face with his peripheral vision.
Brrrrnnnnngggg - you’re frozen in the spot, unable to answer his question. Neither of you move for a second, waiting to see what the other person will do. You remember that just a couple of weeks ago you and Drew were sitting at the kitchen table in this apartment with Eddie and his little piece of ass from the bar, laughing and passing a joint. 
Brrrr - the sound is cut off when Eddie grabs the phone set with one hand and yanks it off the wall, unplugging the phone line from the jack. You can hear the other set ring from the bedroom down the hall, but it sounds less persistent with so many walls between you and it. 
Gino’s is quiet this late on a Sunday evening, and you’re glad for it. The corner booth is darker than the rest of the place, one of the bulbs in the Tiffany style lamp above your heads is burnt out. It’s nice, though, it feels quieter. It’s easier to talk about things when Eddie can’t see every expression written clearly across the lines of your face. The shadows hold your secrets a little better.
“You’re not going over there, that’s a fucking stupid idea.” Eddie wipes grease from his chin and shakes his head. He’s been singing the same tune all week, and you’re at the end of your rope. “That dude is seriously unstable, and he’s got it in his stupid head that he owns you or something.” He shakes his head again, “Jesus-fucking-Christ, he fucked that girl in your bed and he’s still acting like this.”
He’s still acting like this - Eddie’s hated Drew all along, and you’ve known that. He did his best to keep it friendly, but all bets are off now. And you’re not arguing any of this with him, you agree with him. You don’t know who he’s trying to convince. Drew could be choking to death in front of you, and you wouldn’t even give him a pat on the back to help.
But you want your shit. It’s yours.
“Yeah, well, fuck Drew. And fuck you too, Munson, if you think you can tell me I can’t go over there to get my shit.” You’re done tiptoeing around this. It’s time to have it out. Eddie huffs and drops his grease stained napkin. He sits back against the high wooden back bench and crosses his arms. You can hear the leather of his jacket groan under his biceps. “I’m serious. I love you, Eddie, but for fuck’s sake - you know goddamn well I can take care of myself.”
“Yeah. I know.” Eddie’s biting something back, you can tell. He’s got a barb sitting on the end of his tongue that he wants to throw in your direction, but he’s holding it back. Something along the lines of, you took care of yourself so well you ended up with the biggest psycho in town. “But that guy,” Eddie cocks his head to the side and leans in so you can see his face better under the dim lighting, “can you at least let me get some of the guys together so we can go with you?”
You pick a mushroom off of the last piece of the pie sitting between the two of you, and Eddie sits stock still - only his eyes shooting across the face waiting for you to show something. You pop it in your mouth and meet his eyes. The concern is plain, Eddie is begging you with those soulful brown pools and you soften a little. There’s so much love between you. You’ve been through things worse than Drew in the past, and you’ve done it together.
“Yeah, Eddie. I want you guys to be there to help.” Eddie closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath, “but this has to be as quick and chill as possible. I’m dead serious, I just want my shit. I don’t care what he says to me while I get it. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, I get it,” Eddie reaches a hand across the table to squeeze your arm again. You think about how nice it would be to scoot over to his side of the booth and lean your head on his shoulder. Feel his arm wrap around you. “I’m here for you, however you want me.”
The drive to the house is quiet. Jeff’s shotgun, and you’re in the back with Gareth. You were surprised he was able to pull himself away from the new girl’s pussy, but all it took was a quick phone call from Eddie and he’s here with bells on. You told them you don’t care about the bed, you just want your clothes and records - the thought of multiple trips makes you nauseous. In and out, no heavy lifting. The furniture that’s technically yours was all from the curb or the Goodwill - either way, not worth the trouble. Just the stuff that’s really yours.
“Shit.” You whisper it under your breath, but Eddie’s eyes flick up to the rear view mirror at you. Drew’s car is in the driveway. He’s supposed to be working. You knew he’d be here, you knew it. “Listen. We’re getting my shit and leaving. Do not engage with the psychotic ex, ok?”
“No problem, Angel. I’m not looking for any trouble.” Eddie’s words don’t quite match the way he’s holding his shoulders. You noticed it this morning, the way he’s holding himself is tighter. It’s ready. It makes you nervous to see. Eddie’s never looking for trouble, and neither are you - and yet it always finds the both of you.
Drew’s sitting on the sofa when you open the front door. He’s just sitting there, waiting. You wonder how he knew you’d be here today, but then it makes sense. He knows your schedule, and you know his. Thursday afternoon while he’s still in the office and you’re not at the coffee house. 
“Hey, Baby.” Drew’s words are slow, and you think there’s more than coffee in the cup he’s holding. “You come to see me?”
You don’t engage. You walk past him and down the hall to the bedroom you shared with Drew for the last 2 years. You can feel Eddie behind you, Jeff and Gareth stay in the living room to pull your records from the rack by the stereo. All in the plan - in and out. One quick trip. Easy as pie.
“The bathroom,” you point to the door next to the bedroom, “grab my stuff while I get my clothes.” Eddie sighs, squeezes your arm, and turns. You drop the big duffel bag, a leftover from Wayne’s time in the service, onto the bed - your bed - and start opening drawers. You’re happy to see your nice sweaters are still whole. You’d forgotten about the box of pictures up on the top shelf of the closet, and stretched your arm to reach it. 
You smell him, whiskey and sweat, before you notice anything else. “So, Munson finally got what he wanted? He fuckin’ you?” Drew’s long arm is reaching over you to pull the shoe box of memories down, purposely dropping to so the images of your past scatter on the floor in front of you. “You stupid cunt.”
The blood in your mouth is what clues you into the fact that your teeth are biting down on your tongue. Good. Bleed. Keep your mouth shut. Quick and easy. Steady. You bend down to pick up the photos. Drew’s booted foot is standing on one of you and your sister, so you pull on the corner and let out a strangled gasp when it rips in half. 
“Gareth?” You need backup, someone to get Drew to stand down long enough to get your stuff. Except, it’s not Gareth or Jeff that comes to stand between you and the drunken man hovering over you, it’s Eddie. 
“Hey, Ed,” you keep your voice steady, steady, “I just need a little help getting the rest of my stuff in here. I’m almost done.”
“I’m right here, Angel. Let’s get your shit and get the fuck outta here.” Eddie doesn’t touch Drew, he just sidles up next to him. Same height, but Drew’s built like a truck. Both men have unsettling smiles on their faces. You shake your head and get back to work. 
Shoes, pictures, underwear. You look at Drew and open the top drawer of your old nightstand and pull out your vibrator. No time for embarrassment, it’s yours. Drew’s grin turns sour at the sight. 
“What’s a’matter, Munson? You leaving my girl unsatisfied?” Eddie ignores the jab, and gets to work throwing random candles and bottles of lotion from the top of the dresser into the bag he’s holding. “I’m not surprised, ya know. She’s been gettin’ weird on me. Dressing like a dyke.” 
Drew’s spitting venom, but you’re immune. This is nothing he hasn’t already said to you in the last month. You’ve been living in this private hell looking for a way out, and the cheating was the shove you needed. It was a relief. This isn’t the person you are, you don’t let men talk to you like this, and yet. Here you are.
“We good?” Eddie’s voice snaps your mind back into the present. Drew’s sitting on the edge of the bed now. Your bag is full. You take a quick scan of the bedroom and calculate the losses, the things you’re choosing to not take with you, and decide it’s worth it to be out of this thing.
“Yep. Let’s get the fuck out of here and go home.” Drew snorts at your words, but you and Eddie ignore it. Jeff and Gareth are coming back through the front door for one last load of records, and you notice the tv is gone. 
It’s your tv, you bought it last year. The boys know it. You told them how you saved up for the 6 months to be able to afford it. You can’t even be mad at them for taking it, because you should fucking get that thing. You wave the boys on, because it’s time to go before things can start to unravel.
“What the fuck?” Drew’s slurred words come from behind your back, and you mouth “go” to Gareth. “Fine. Trailer trash ass bitch, get the fuck out of my house. Dirty whore.” 
Eddie walks back to the door frame between the kitchen and living room while the other boys move in the opposition direction through the front door. And then everyone freezes. Eddie’s arms are wide and the smile on his face sits wrong on his lips. 
“Hey man, we’re cool, right? You’re gonna leave my girl alone now? Enjoy fucking that girl from the office? Because, when we walk out of that door, none of us want to see or hear from you again. Cool?” The tone of Eddie’s voice, gentle and calm, sets you at ease. For just a second, you thought things were about to go very wrong.
Drew looks at Eddie right in his face, and he smiles back at him. He furrows his eyebrows and nods in a way that says, “oh, sure. No problem, man.” And then in a flash you see Eddie rear his head back.
Crack. Eddie’s skull smashes into Drew’s face in a shockingly swift movement. And then it’s met with the dull thud of Eddie’s fist in Drew’s face. He’s on the ground before you fully realize what’s happening, and Eddie’s booted foot is kicking him in the side.
Blood on Eddie’s knuckles. Blood flowing from Drew’s already swollen nose. Eddie’s legs seem to be moving in slow motion, but Drew’s long arms do little to protect himself from the onslaught. You don’t register the figures that push past you. Four hands grip Eddie’s arms and struggle to pull him away from the man on the ground in front of you.
“Come on, man.” Drew’s voice is wet with blood and tears. He’s crying on the ground, holding himself around his middle, protecting himself from more kicks and stomps that aren’t coming. “Fuck.”
Eddie’s smile, tinged pink with blood, is still on his lips while he looks down at Drew. He shakes Jeff and Gareth from his shoulders and says, “Alright, Bud. I think we’re on the same page. You call my place again, and I’ll kill you.”
“I wish you hadn’t done that,” your words are unconvincing even to yourself, but they’re all you have. 
“I’m sorry, Angel, but I don’t think he was getting the message. He needed a couple of bruises as a reminder.” Eddie hisses at the feeling of the cotton ball on the bridge of his nose. You’re happy to see that smile wiped from his face. You’re happy to see your Eddie in front of you.
“Yeah. I just hope he doesn’t call the cops.” You run a cotton ball along the side of his mouth where a couple of drops of blood have dried. “I need you here with me. He’s not worth the trouble.”
Eddie’s closed eyes flutter at your gentle touch, and you soak up the opportunity to scan his face. Up close, you can see each individual hair on his upper lip. That cupid’s bow, perfectly formed for kissing. 
“No, he’s not worth shit, Angel.” You don’t know when Eddie’s eyes opened, but he’s watching you study him. “But you are. I need you here. It’s worth a couple of cuts.”
511 notes · View notes
thefallennightmare · 8 months
Text
One Night-one
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Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader
Warnings: lots of smut, swearing, angst, fluff.
Summary: One night. That's what Noah and Reader agreed to. No questions, no second thoughts, and no regrets. But will one night be enough to fill the hunger they both craved?
Authors Note: so, this was originally going to be a one-shot, but it got to be really long. I decided to make it into a two, maybe three-parter. If anyone wants to be tagged in part two, let me know!
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The loud bass echoed off the black peeling walls as Britt dragged me along through the dark hallways of the club, the heels of my shoes not wanting to move. This was a bad idea, right? There was no way we were allowed to come back here let alone walk the back hallways. We were going to get caught and thrown out and I yet again let that be known to my best friend.
“Britt, are you sure we’re allowed to be back here? The security guard barley let us through,” I sighed.
The blonde in front of me let out her own sigh before turning to face me, her grip on my hand faltering.
“I already told you, Y/N. They invited us tonight.”
Immediately I shook my head. “No, they invited you not me.”
My best friend rolled her eyes. “They won’t care that you tagged along. Maybe I can convince Nick to tattoo you as well.”
I snorted. “I doubt your friend would be willing to tattoo someone who tagged along.”
“Oh, for fuck's sake, Y/N,” Britt pinched her eyes. “For once in your life, stop worrying about the rules and let go. Have some fun.”
The mischievous light behind her eyes called to the dark side of me, one that I rarely let out afraid of the consequences but when her bottom lip pouted in a frown, I let out a deep breath and nodded.
With a squeal, Britt grasped my hand and began dragging me down the hallway once again.
“Where are we going, anyway?” I asked.
“Nick told me to meet him in the green room.”
I raised a brow. “And why can't he tattoo you in his shop?”
Earlier today, Britt had called me asking if I would tag along with her to get a tattoo and I agreed. But that was only because I thought we were going to a shop, not a rundown building.
We turned a corner and came to a halt in front of a door, muffled voices sounded on the other end of it. There were atleast three different voices, but I wasn’t able to hear what they were saying.
“Nick has been tattooing me for years but he doesn’t have his own shop because he’s on the road a lot,” Britt informed me.
“Doing?” I pressed.
“Geez, what’s with the twenty questions?” Britt chuckled.
I shrugged. “If I’m going to get murdered, I’d like to know who is murdering me.”
“Look,” she grabbed both of my hands and gave them a light squeeze. “I know the last few months haven’t been exactly easy for you.”
My feet shifted uncomfortably with her words and my heart rate quicken as I felt the all too familiar rush of anger course through me.
Britt continued. “What kind of friend would I be if I let you sit home in your apartment and rot away all because Jacob broke your heart?”
“He didn’t break my heart,” I stated through gritted teeth.
The voices behind the door had quieted, almost to silence as Britt spoke again.
“Jacob was an asshole who cheated on you, multiple times. I said it from the start I never trusted him.”
“I know,” I nodded. “I should have listened to you. If I had, I wouldn’t have wasted two years on that prick.”
With a final squeeze of our hands, Britt dropped them before motioning to the door behind her. “You need this night out more than I do. For me, it’s just another tattoo but for you? It’s a way to spread your wings and fly into someone else’s embrace.”
A loud, thunderous, laugh erupted from my chest and I hand to clutch my stomach as the muscles constricted from how hard I was laughing. Britt simply looked at me amused.
“Yeah, I know. It wasn’t my best advice, but it’s what I could come up with on the fly,” she waved me off.
Suddenly the door behind Britt opened and both of us locked us with a pair of dark, almost hazel eyes. The intense gaze stared at us underneath the brim of his hat and I wondered if he could hear how loud my heart was pounding against my chest as fear filled me. Had they had caught us? Were we about to be thrown out?
“I thought I heard you,” the man broke out into a smile before wrapping his arms around Britt.
He had long hair that was pulled back into a low bun underneath the hat and the tattoo’s that peaked from underneath the material of his shirt gave me a slight idea who this was.
“Hey Nick, sorry I’m late. Someone was dragging their feet,” Britt said after pulling away from the hug and motioned towards me. “This is Y/N.”
The man, Nick, gave me a warm smile in greeting. “Nice to meet you.”
I returned the smile. “You too.”
“Alright, I’m almost set up. Come on in,” Nick motioned for us to follow.
While Britt followed eagerly, I hung back aways, nerves still wrecking throughout my body.
“How much time do we have until you guys go on?” Britt asked.
When she noticed I was still hanging out in the hallway, she yanked me inside before shutting the door behind us.
“Stop being weird,” she mouthed to me.
The only response I gave her was my middle finger.
“We just finished soundcheck so we’ve got a few hours,” Nick said.
He sat on a long leather couch fidgeting with his tattoo gun and finished filling up little cups of bright colored ink. Britt was already covered in tattoos so I couldn’t help but wonder where and what she was getting. I, on the other hand, had a few tattoos scattered over my body.
“Soundcheck?” I questioned, still confused on who this guy was and where we were exactly.
Nick nodded with a small smile. “We’re playing here tonight.”
It was then that I noticed two other men standing in the far corner of the room, chatting amongst themselves but when their eyes landed on us, their conversations stopped.
“Hey, Britt. Nick said you were stopping by tonight.”
A man with a slight accent and long hair stepped forward and gave Britt a quick hug.
“Yea. He had some free time tonight to squeeze me in so I had to take it. You guys are always so busy with either touring or recording, I barely get time to see my cousin anymore.”
Touring? Recording? Cousin?
Three years of friendship and I realized maybe I hadn’t known my best friend as well as I thought I did.
“Nick’s your cousin?” I asked.
Britt nodded. “Yeah but since he lives in Virginia, I don’t get to see him as much.”
Another guy approached Britt and gave her a hug, one she accepted with a slight blush to her cheeks. I didn’t miss the way her breath hitched as the two of them pulled away and their eyes locked. I couldn’t stop the smug smile that pulled at the corner of my lips.
“Uh, Y/N, this is Jolly.”
Britt pointed to the man that had the accent, and I gave a small wave.
“And this is Nick,” Britt pointed to the other man, the blush now a deep crimson.
I quirked a brow. “Two Nicks?”
The latter Nick chuckled. “You can call me Folio.”
“And Mr. antisocial over there is Noah,” Britt rolled her eyes and pointed to the couch behind me.
For the first time since walking in the room, I noticed the man sitting deep into the cushions behind me and my breath caught in my throat. My heart was beating rapidly, and I felt sweat gather in my palms.
This man was gorgeous, the skin underneath his blank tank top drowning in a sea of colorful tattoos and his dark hair falling into his eyes as he leaned forward on the couch. His hands were clasped together as his eyes were trained hard on the floor beneath his feet. With every deep breath he took, the silver chain around his neck dangled and I was hit with the thought of how it would look dangling over me while this man loomed above me, dark eyes staring deep into mine.
I squeezed my thighs together, hoping that thought wouldn’t return tonight.
Realizing someone was talking to him, the man finally tore his gaze away from the floor and it fell onto Britt for a moment before shifting to me, drinking me in. I suddenly felt hot underneath it and shifted on my feet when I noticed a small fire behind them as his brown eyes locked with mine.
“Noah, this is Y/N.” Britt introduced us.
God, even his name was breathtaking.
Noah’s eyes grazed over every inch of my body from my feet to my eyes where he held my gaze for a few beats. He gave us a tight smile before focusing his gaze back on the floor.
“You’ll have to ignore him,” Jolly said coming up alongside me. “He found out yesterday that an ex of his cheated on him when they were together so he’s a bit upset.”
Trust me, I understand how he’s feeling.
Jolly began leading me to the couch across from Noah but before I could sit, I motioned to the door. Britt, however, was two steps ahead of me and gave me a light push down onto the couch then sat next to me.
“And you’ll have to excuse Y/N. She doesn’t get out of the house much since her break up so she seems to forget how to socialize.”
I glared at Britt. “Fuck you.”
The guys gave a slight chuckle and Nick turned motioned for Britt to roll up the bottom of her pants, exposing the only patch of space on her inner left leg.
As much as I loved Britt, sometimes she could be a bit much in letting people know too much about my social life. She claimed it was all from the heart but sometimes, like right now, I didn’t need four strangers to know about my personal life especially since I had no plans on seeing any of them after tonight.
“So, what time do you guys play tonight?” Britt asked over the sound of the tattoo gun.
I watched as Nick concentrated on the small design he had placed on Britt’s leg.
“We go on around nine. You two planning on staying?”
“Hell yeah,” Britt exclaimed.
My eyes snapped up to hers. “We are?”
“I haven't seen a Bad Omens show since before these guys blew up,” Britt explained.
Suddenly it all clicked into place. The building we were in, the line of people that were standing in front of said building as we drove past, and four tattooed guys hanging out in the green room. These guys were in a band, one I’ve never heard of before, but clearly they were popular. Hence the large group of people waiting outside.
“Come on, Y/N. It’s not like you have anything else planned tonight,” Britt continued with a slight wince on her face as Nick passed over a sensitive part of skin.
My lips parted to protest but when I realized she was right, I leaned back into the couch with a sigh. “Just because you’re almost always right doesn’t mean you have to throw it in my face.”
“So,” she began. “I think you need something to help you get over Jacob.”
Thankfully, Britt’s voice was hushed but even with the loud noise from the tattoo gun, I worried if the guys could hear.
“What are you thinking?” I raised a brow.
She had many ideas all the time, majority never worked out how she said. But that never stopped her from trying.
“Well they always say, in order to get over someone it’s best to get under someone new.”
I scoffed a chuckle. “Who the fuck says that?”
Britt shrugged. “Everyone.”
When both Nick’s agreed with nods, I groaned. “That is not happening.”
“Just think about it.”
Britt patted my thigh before she started up a conversation with Folio, who was sitting on the couch next to her, on her other side. I kept my attention on my phone, scrolling aimlessly through my social media, to pass the time. But every so often I would feel this intense burning on my face, almost as if someone was watching me. At first, I did my best to ignore it until I finally glanced up from my phone to the man across from me. A quiet breath fell from my lips when I realized Noah was the cause for the burning stare on my face.
He held my gaze for a long beat before it fell to my parted lips then back to my eyes. That silent action said so much and it made my body shiver with desire.
Jesus, get a hold of yourself. You’re doing that thing where you overthink everything and it’s only going to end up bad. Like it always does.
“What the hell Y/N?”
Reluctantly, I broke eye contact with Noah and noticed Britt was glaring down at my phone. With a quick glance, I noticed that my text conversation with Jacob was up with a new text from him on full display.
I miss you so much, baby. Why don’t you come over tonight and we can talk about things?
I pulled my phone to my chest hoping that Britt wasn’t able to read any other messages from Jacob.
“Please tell me you’re not texting that asshole?!” Britt seethed while trying to sit up straight until Nick grasped tightly on her ankle, her forgetting for a second that she was getting tattooed.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I shrugged.
She gasped. “You are! What the fuck. Did you not learn anything from this breakup?”
With a quick glance around the room, I noticed that all the guys were watching the two of us with curious eyes. Even Nick glanced up from the almost finished tattoo on Britt’s leg.
“Can we maybe not talk about this in front of?” I motioned to the guys.
Britt shook her head. “No, you’re not blowing this off.”
I grit my teeth together. “I’m not. I don’t want to talk about Jacob right now.”
“But you have no problem texting him?”
“I wasn’t texting him. He’s been nonstop texting me,” I informed.
The look of anger that crossed Britt’s features was enough to make me sink further into the couch. She motioned for Nick to stop for a moment; he did and turned off the gun before setting it onto the table that he had been sitting on.
“Did you forget what he did?” Britt asked.
“No-.”
“He cheated on you, Y/N. Multiple times,” she deadpanned, interrupting me.
My cheeks flushed at being scolded by Britt in front of the guys, especially Noah. I barley knew him but knowing that he was listening and watching intently only made me now sink completely into the couch. I pinched my eyes shut while letting out a shaky breath. As if realizing that I was on the verge of breaking down once again because of Jacob, Britt placed a gentle hand on my knee.
“I’m not trying to be a bitch but I refuse to sit by and let him hurt you all over again. You don’t deserve that.”
“I know,” I muttered. “It’s a never-ending cycle with him.”
“Give me your phone,” Britt extended her hand towards me.
I looked at her warily.
“I’m not going to look at your nudes, Y/N. Give me your phone,” she repeated with a bit more force in her voice.
While my face heated with embarrassment, I noticed out of the corner of my eye Noah shift in his spot on the couch across from us.
“I don’t have any nudes on there,” I stated with a slight waver to my voice.
I did, loads of them. I never sent them to anyone though, I simply liked the way I looked.
With the way Britt gave me a sideway smirk, I knew she didn’t believe a word I said.
When Britt had my phone, I watched as she scowled at Jacob’s contact before blocking him then deleting his number for an extra precaution. She handed my phone back with a proud smile.
“All done.”
The sound of the tattoo machine whirred up again, Nick continuing on with his piece.
“You blocked him?” I asked.
Britt nodded. “As you said, it’s always the same game between the two of you. Jacob cheats on you, you two break up. He comes crawling back saying it was a mistake so you take him back.”
“I don’t need the reminder,” I grumbled while crossing my arms over my chest.
With a quick flick of my gaze, my eyes locked with Noah’s briefly before he averted his down to his phone.
“That doesn’t seem healthy,” Jolly said.
Britt shook her head. “Because it’s not. Y/N wasted two years of her life with this douchebag. His dick is the only one she’s ever had.”
“Oh, for fuck's sake,” I groaned burying my face in my hands.
Not before I noticed the way Noah’s shoulders tensed at Britt’s words.
“Do you have to lay out all of my dirty laundry?” I seethed towards her.
Britt always said what was on her mind, no matter who was around or if the situation was appropriate for it. Often, I praised her for it. Just not when I was on the receiving end of it. But before Britt could respond, Nick spoke up saying that her tattoo was finished.
Silence fell in the room for a long moment and not wanting to look at anyone, I kept my gaze fixed on my hands in my lap. Embarrassment filled me and in this moment, I wanted nothing more than to go home and crawl in bed. I barley knew these guys and even if Britt had, she had no right saying all those things about my personal life in front of them.
Folio must have been able to feel the sudden tension between Britt and I because he motioned towards her.
“Want to grab something to eat?”
Britt went to nod but gave me a sideways glance. Even if I was angry at her, I could tell that she wanted to spend some alone time with him so I waved her off, muttering I would be fine until she got back. Before I could even tell her to bring me back something to drink, her and Folio were already out the door.
“Leave it to Britt to say what’s on her mind,” Nick said once he finished packing up his tattoo machine.
I couldn’t stop the light chuckle that fell from my lips. “I guess you understand her just as much as I do.”
Jolly sat up from the couch with a long sigh and patted Nick on the shoulder. “Bryan wants to get some pictures of us for Instagram.”
Nick nodded before looking at Noah. “Want to tag along?”
I had been sitting in this room for over an hour and not once did Noah mutter a single word or even sound.
“No, I’m good. Tell Bryan he can get some before we go on.”
His voice. Fuck even his voice sounded like heaven.
Jolly looked from Noah to me then back to him. “Is it alright if Y/N hangs out here?”
“If not, I’m sure I can find Britt and crash her date,” I said, not wanting to impose on Noah.
Jolly and Nick snickered at the mention of Britt and Folio’s date.
Noah shook his head. “You can stay.”
The way he said it was as if he had some underlining meaning behind it but I didn’t dare think too much of it. My skin was tingling with an unknown sensation and I ran my hands over my thighs to stop the sweat from gathering there.
With the door to the room shut, the two of us were alone and for the first time in a long time, I felt nervous in front of a man. I barley knew Noah, only the fact that he was in a band, and I should fear him. Scared that I was alone in a room with him. But no, all I felt was nerves because the tension between us was slowly building and attaching itself inside my veins.
“Your boyfriend sounds like a real ass.”
My eyes darted over to Noah, his soft voice breaking the long few moments of silence.
“Ex.” I corrected.
The corner of his lip curled up. “Is what Britt said true?”
I shook my head not sure what he was curious about.
“About?”
My voice came out a bit wavered but Noah made no sign he heard.
“Your ex was the only one?” He asked.
Heat spread over the skin of my face, and I bit on the inside of my cheek. With my silence, Noah gave a curt nod almost displeased with my answer.
“Maybe Britt was right. I need someone to help get over him,” I muttered to myself when I thought about it.
Jacob was the only man I had ever been with, kissed and had sex with. He was all I’d known and who knows, I could miss out on someone great; relationship wise or even a one-night stand because I was too hung up on Jacob. It would be stupid of me not to spread my wings and explore my other options, right?
Maybe even the one sitting in front of me?
I quickly shook that thought from my mind. There was no way Noah would be interested in that or me.
He hummed in response to my words.
“What? You think it’s stupid.”
“I never said that,” Noah said.
My eyes almost buldged out of my head but I held back, not wanting to get my hopes up with whatever he meant to say.
“So you agree with me,” I said after a moment.
He shrugged. “Britt has said some weird shit the last few years since I’ve been around her but that doesn’t mean she’s not wrong about her advice.”
“You know from experience?” I asked, a pang of jealousy stabbing my heart.
I had no reason to be jealous if Noah and Britt hooked up but it still bothered me.
Noah let out a soft laugh, and my stomach fluttered with butterflies at the sound.
“No. Folio’s liked her for a while now, I wouldn’t do that to him. Plus, she’s not my type,” he finished with a shrug.
I licked my lips. “What is your type?”
His eyes flicked up from the floor to my face where he kept it there, silence falling between us. I shifted in my seat with the intensity of Noah’s stare and ran my hands over my thighs.
“Do I make you nervous?” He asked.
When my brows furrowed with confusion, Noah motioned to my hands that kept rubbing against my thighs so I abruptly stopped.
“No,” I lied.
His response was another hum before he leaned back against the couch, arms sprawled along the top of it. My mouth salivated at the sight of the muscles in his arms tensing with each of his movements. I drank in from afar all of his tattoos that covered almost every inch of skin.
“I’ll do it.”
I snapped away from internally drooling over Noah and shook my head with confusion. “Do what?”
Noah’s lips parted but before he could speak my phone buzzed and when I saw the unknown name appear on the screen, I answered the call with raised brows. The only problem was that the speaker on my phone was broken which made it difficult to hear conversations so I had to answer each call on speaker.
“Hello?”
“Y/N, what the fuck! Why can’t I call you?”
I froze for a moment. “Jacob?”
“What’s going on with your phone?”
Jacob’s voice was loud with anger that I nearly dropped it in slight feer. While he never raised a hand to me our entire relationship, he was still mentally and emotionally abusive. I looked over at Noah from under my lashes and noticed he was watching me intently.
“Y/N!”
I snapped my attention back to my phone. “What do you want? Why are you calling me?”
“I’ve been trying to call you for the last hour and when my call didn’t go through, I got worried so I borrowed my roommates phone.”
“I’m fine, Jacob. You didn’t need to call,” I said with an exhausted tone.
“Let me come over. We can watch a movie or fuck.”
I blinked at his outright boldness and watched as Noah’s shoulders stiffened.
“I, uh,” I licked my dry lips as I stuttered. “I’m not home.”
“Where the fuck are you?”
Noah must not have like the tone in Jacob’s voice because he raised a finger towards me and hooked it towards him, beckoning me over to him. I cocked my head to the side before shaking my head.
“Y/N, come here.” Noah said, not exactly in a hushed tone.
“Who are you with? Are you cheating on me?”
Anger filled me at his accusation. Unlike him, I was faithful when we were together. But it didn’t matter because we weren’t together anymore. Something I reminded him of yet again.
“You were the one that cheated. Many times. And every single time, I took you back like a fucking idiot,” I snapped.
“I don’t like this attitude, Y/N. You were never this mouthy. Although, I remember how great you were with that mouth in other ways.”
Internally, I cringed at his words. Now that I wasn’t dating him and the blinders were off, I noticed how vulgar and disgusting he was. Noah must have agreed with me because the scowl on his lips made me shift in my seat.
“You’re disgusting,” I said.
“There was a point that you didn’t think that. If I recall, you loved how disgusting I was.”
The word disgusting sounded just like that as if fell from his lips. But now, the anger I felt for him suddenly made me feel bold and the words lashed out before I even could stop them.
“Oh please. If I loved it so much, wouldn’t you think I would have orgasmed even once?”
While Jacob was stunned, silence coming from his end of the phone, Noah, on the other hand, watched me with an amused expression. His brown eyes were bright until something dark filled them. Before I could comprehend what was going on, Noah was on his feet with a swift movement and I squealed as he lifted me from the couch onto his lap.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I stared down at him.
He was looking up at me though his long lashes while his hands gripped my hips. His warm breath fanned over the crook of my neck and my eyes fluttered shut, a quiet breath leaving my lips.
“You faked it?”
Jacob’s voice brought be back to our phone conversation, and I was ready to end it, not wanting anything to impede whatever Noah was doing.
“Keep talking to him,” Noah muttered into my neck.
I gave him a wild look. “What?”
“I believe he asked you a question,” he responded motioning to my phone.
“Y/N?”
“Uh,” I blinked while tearing my gaze away from Noah’s dark eyes. “Yeah, I did.”
“Even the weekend we stayed at that hotel?”
I sucked in a breath when I felt Noah’s finger trace over the front of my jeans.
“What are you doing?” I managed through shaky breaths.
“If it’s alright with you, I want to make you cum while you’re on the phone with him.”
Noah’s voice was husky, laced with lust, and whatever reservations I had about if he actually offered himself up earlier vanished when he made quick work of the button on my jeans. The thought of coming undone from another man while on the phone with Jacob made a fire burn low in my belly.
“Do you want that?” Noah asked as he lifted my chin.
“Did you fake it every time?”
Both of them asked their questions at the same time but my answer was towards Noah’s question.
“Yes,” I breathed as my eyes locked with Noah’s.
The sound of a zipper echoed in the room and when finger glided over the sheer fabric of my panties, I nearly dropped my head to his shoulder. He motioned to my phone urging me to continue talking to Jacob.
“Jacob, why are you calling me?” I asked.
“I miss you, baby.”
I wanted to groan in disgust but what came out instead was a groan of ecstasy. Noah moved my panties to the side while slipping a finger through my folds. He teased the slick length for a few strokes before settling on my clit, rubbing in slow circles.
“Don’t call me that,” I said.
Jacob sighed into the phone. “You used to love when I called you that.”
“I also loved it when you didn’t cheat on me,” I shot back.
Noah hummed into the skin of my throat. “Who would ever cheat on you?”
“Who was that? Are you with someone else?”
I felt Noah’s body shake with laughter underneath me at the jealous tone coming from Jacob.
“Why does it matter? We’re not together anymore.”
I bit my lip when a finger slid into me with ease from how wet I was and when Noah began pumping a finger in and out in fast strokes, my eyes fluttered close.
“Oh fuck,” I moaned.
“Did he ever make you this wet? I can feel you clenching on my finger, angel.” Noah’s teeth grazed over the skin over my exposed collarbone.
Angel.
I nearly came on his pet name for me alone. Hearing fall from his lips was heaven enough for me. Forget an orgasm, I would have been fine with that.
“Answer me,” he demanded.
I ground my hips hard into his hand from his authoritative tone and quickly shook my head.
“Never this wet,” I moaned.
“Y/N, who are you with? I’ll fucking kill him.”
The phone dropped from my hand onto the couch next to us when Noah’s thumb pressed hard onto the swollen nub of my clit while his finger continued to pump in and out of my core. The base of my spine tingled as my orgasm built. It was getting heavy with each stroke and I let my head fall back, lips parting.
“Are you going to cum?” Noah asked in a low voice.
I nodded, unable to talk, and when I felt his hard cock press into me, I almost whined.
“You want this cock, huh?”
I nodded without thinking.
Noah left a few bites along my neck and the edge of my orgasm had crested, ready to push me over the edge.
“If you’re a good girl and cum for me, maybe I’ll give you my cock.”
“Oh fuck,” my body shuddered as the start of my orgasm rocked through me.
“Y/N, where the fuck are-.”
Noah quickly ended the call before tossing my phone over to the other couch.
“He doesn’t get to hear you fall apart. It’s only for me,” Noah said.
“‘m so close, Noah.”
His name falling from my lips was exactly what I needed to finally let go, my orgasm making me yell out in pleasure riding it out against his hand.
As I came down and vision cleared, I saw Noah pull his fingers from me; the emptiness making me frown. However, when he brought his finger to his lips, tongue licking my arousal from it, I thought I would cum again just at the sight.
“Fuck, angel, you taste so good. I can’t wait to taste you for the rest of the night while I’m on stage.”
I sighed in content. “Thank you.”
“Y/N,” he tipped my chin up. “You don’t have to thank me. I just wanted to help you forget that asshole for a moment.”
“Hmm, can I keep you around for the rest of the night?” I asked, joking slightly.
Noah’s face turned serious but before I could worry if I crossed the line, he shrugged. “I’ll do it if only you agree.”
Still on his lap and jeans undone, I shifted on his hard cock.
“What, spend one night with me?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he looked at the clock on the wall behind me. “It’s just after eight. Our set starts at nine and will end at 10:30. After that, we can continue where we left this. Then by 7 in the morning, we can part ways. Just one night to forget our problems.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, mewling over his words, while his hands slid underneath my shirt and grazed over the skin of my back.
“Why would you do that for me?” I wondered.
Noah spoke just above a whisper. “You’re not the only one that needs to forget someone.”
I then remembered that Jolly had mentioned earlier that Noah had found out today that he was cheated on in a previous relationship.
“So,” I spoke slowly. “One night of sex then by the morning we say goodbye?”
Something flashed over Noah’s brown eyes but it was gone before I could decipher what it was.
“No questions, no regrets, and no second thoughts. What do you say?”
Before I could give him my answer, the door to the room opened, and I quickly scrambled off of his lap to fix myself.
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cobaltperun · 3 days
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Genius (6) - Genius
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Cairo Sweet x female (G!P) Reader
Summary: It was such a cliché, a reunion she didn’t expect to ever happen, let alone six years after she last saw you. It was supposed to mean nothing, a bit of nostalgia, maybe a brief catching up while waiting for class, it was supposed to be a small wave of nostalgia, not a tsunami that disrupted her entire life. You were her opposite, and as hard as she tried she couldn’t resist your pull.
Story masterlist / First part / Previous Part / Next part
Word count: 2.2k
-Won't you tell me all your secrets about how you exploit their weakness, I think you're a fucking genius,-
Cairo sat in her garden, with her legs lifted onto the second chair. She had her eyes closed as the soft wind blew in her face. She was smiling, happier than she’s been in a long time.
She was seen. You were seeing her, the real her, and you were starting to see her trauma as well, all the things she wished she could get over, or tell you about, yet didn’t. She caressed the spine of Jules Verne’s book, she remembered how captivated the two of you were by it, by the simple idea of traveling the world. Of leaving this place and seeing everything, absolutely everything the world had to offer. Would she be able to do it? That was one of her dreams, fulfilling the trip around the world in eighty days, well, she doubted she could see everything in eighty days, but start from one trip around the world and then pick another route.
Would you be willing to go with her? Did you love her? You came after her, you went out to look for her, well so did Winnie. You went back into the forest and brought the roses to her backyard and she opened her eyes to look at them. It’s been one day since you brought the pots and planted them, hoping they would sprout roots.
If a wild rose could be moved, if it could be released from the roots that kept it tied to a place that wouldn’t let it grow and blossom, maybe she could do the same. Was it too late to stop whatever was going on with Miller? Did she already cross a line? Did he have expectations of her right now? She still desired the love he described, that madman’s love that she felt she’s been missing her whole life, but now that she thought about it she thought about your arms around her yesterday, when you finished working with the roses.
Was that her madman’s love? How did you feel about her? She wasn’t sure, but she hoped, and if she wanted to be fought for, she would fight for you as well. She got up, and went inside, heading right for her room where her laptop was. She got comfortable, opened a blank word document and began typing. She put all of her feelings, all of her desires on the page, releasing the feelings she otherwise wasn’t sure how to handle. How would you act if you knew how much she wanted you right now? How much she craved to feel your arms around her again? And in the midst of all of those thoughts she dared to let her mind wander to how your touch would feel on her bare skin. How mad could you drive her? How passionate were you? How about her? She’s never done it, she’s only read about it, how assertive would she be? She didn’t know, but she wanted to find out with you.
~X~
You sat in your bedroom, your guitar in your arms as you played the acoustic cover of ‘She is’ by The Fray, you didn’t know why that song came to your mind out of blue, but you knew who you wanted to play it for.
“She is everything I need, that I never knew I wanted,” you sang softly, closing your eyes and pulling the notes and lyrics from memory. How long has it even been since you’ve listened to that song? Yet you still remembered it down to the smallest details.
The shakiness of Cairo’s breath as the two of you hugged, the slightest tremor in her voice, the soft whisper, you couldn’t get it out of your head, any of it. She was intoxicating and it was maddening how much of an affect an innocent night of nothing but reading made you notice all the things you weren’t sure you were meant to notice.
She was your childhood friend. You were trying to rebuild that friendship.
“This is going to bring me to my knees, I just want to hold you close to me,” yet you still sang, still knew full well that your heart was beyond reason, that you could no longer see her as a friend. Your mind demanded control over your feelings, demanded that you stop and reconsider, that you take into consideration how fast this was all going. You haven’t been back home for a month and already you were having a turmoil over your feelings for your childhood best friend.
But your heart overpowered your mind and the thoughts of Cairo brought forth a melody you were hearing for the first time, one coming from your heart, filled with longing, desire, all the emotions you still weren’t sure you should share with Cairo.
Would she accept them? Or would she deny the pull she had on you and demand to stay friends?
“Break me down, shape me into something just for us,” you tried adding lyrics to the tune you were creating.
~X~
The next morning you arrived at school a bit earlier than you were supposed to, you just had a bit too much energy this morning and figured you might as well wait for the classes to start at the school instead of at home. You got off your motorcycle and began taking the protective gear off. The school was close, but, you knew better than to take unnecessary risks on the motorcycle. It doesn’t matter how short the ride is, but if you get into an accident or not, and you can always get into an accident, no matter how careful you are. Not all drivers were as careful and that made protective gear mandatory to you.
“Y/N! Hey,” you heard Winnie yelling and looked behind you to see her and Cairo walking across the parking lot. Knowing them they were going to grab a bite.
“Hey!” you took your helmet off and grinned at her before you turned to Cairo, your grin morphing into a softer smile. “Welcome back, Cairo,” you skipped school on Tuesday, but you went yesterday, unlike her.
“I’d say it’s good to be back, but I’d be lying,” she smiled back, shifting her weight so she was leaning more on her left foot and raising her right knee up a bit for a moment, all the while keeping a hand resting on her hip. She dressed a bit different than what you were used to, thigh highs, a shorter skirt and the sweater she had on hugged her body almost a bit too perfectly and you resorted to imagining rather unappealing things to keep your mind from wandering because no, you were not about to become a horny teenager now. No! You wanted none of those thoughts right now!
No matter how attractive Cairo was regardless of what she was wearing.
“You okay, Y/N?” Winnie almost sang, she knew exactly what was on your mind, or what you were trying to keep from being on your mind and she had no intentions of helping you.
“Yup! Perfectly okay, thanks for asking,” you coughed to cover up a slight crack in your voice. ‘Damn it, Cairo, have mercy,’ you thought when you noticed the smile on Cairo’s lips turning into a small smirk.
“If you say so. It’s totally okay if you aren’t fine, you know?” Winnie reassured you and closed the distance so she could pat you on the back. “Wanna go grab a bite with us?” she offered and there was no way you’d accept. You’d be in for a teasing of your life and you still weren’t entirely sure Cairo dressed up like that for anyone, let alone you.
“I’ll skip, I don’t have the first period off,” which was true as well. Going with Cairo and Winnie would mean skipping class, and you kinda needed to listen to this one, otherwise you’d fail it miserably.
“Aw, and I looked forward to teasing you,” Winnie pouted, as if she was actually that disappointed. Actually, she might be just that disappointed.
“Right, I was really looking forward to that,” you said blankly and then turned your attention back to Cairo. “So, wanna ditch the village with me on Saturday?” you asked, a bit too hopefully for your own taste.
“Of course,” Cairo nodded, she approached you and fixed the collar of your jacket a bit. “I’ve been meaning to ask you the same thing,” she admitted, lifting her chin up while you were looking down. Just a few inches separated her lips from yours and you swallowed hard.
“Really?” you managed to speak up, your throat suddenly felt really dry.
“Yeah, I wanted you to take me on a trip, just the two of us,” she admitted, and you nodded.
“I will, I promise you,” you whispered, for a moment forgetting Winnie was even there.
“Ooh, can I come and watch?” Winnie suddenly broke whatever bubble you and Cairo created and you took a step back as Cairo glared at Winnie. The shit-eating grin on Winnie’s face told both of you she deemed the interruption and the potential consequences of it worthy.
You cleared your throat and took a few more steps away from Cairo. “Right, I’ll see you two later,” you waved at them and headed toward the school, unaware of what was about to transpire.
~X~
Cairo watched you go, a small smile on her face gave her away, but then she heard Winnie chuckling and raised an eyebrow. She already had a bad feeling as Winnie approached her with a teasing smile on her face.
“Oh no,” she sighed, not sure what to expect from her best friend. Whatever it was, the mischievous look in her eyes made Cairo more than a little worried.
“Oh, Y/N, I can’t wait for you to take me,” Winnie moaned sensually and pushed her breasts up, her lips parted as she went down a bit only to slowly, with her hips swaying slightly straighten up.
Cairo blushed furiously. “I didn’t say that, and especially not like that,” she looked back toward the direction you went in and felt relief at you not being anywhere in sight. “And take me on a trip, not take me,” she muttered as Winnie smirked at her.
“Mhm,” Winnie didn’t believe her, that was clear and much to Cairo’s horror she got on your motorcycle. “Yes, Y/N, fuck me on your bike! Yes, Baby, get that engine purring!” she was leaning forward, jokingly raising her hips up and winking at Cairo.  
“You need to get off her motorcycle!” she pleaded, already embarrassed enough. “And I don’t want that!” even if she did, you were very protective of your motorcycle, there was no way you’d bend her over it and fuck her.
“Maybe, but you thought about it,” Winnie finally got off your motorcycle but the teasing certainly wasn’t over.
“I didn’t,” Cairo denied it a bit too quickly, and maybe the thought did cross her mind, but again, you wouldn’t agree to it, so it didn’t matter. “And weren’t you all for wagyu beef?” she tried to remind Winnie that you weren’t the one she was supposed to seduce, even though she remembered Winnie changed her mind, but she needed something to get Winnie’s mind off you and Cairo fucking on your motorcycle.
Winnie waved her off with a playful scoff. “That’s in the past. You, my Sweet darling, need someone young and owning a bike,” she teased, brushing her fingers over the handles of your motorcycle and then pretending to rev it up. “This bike in particular, just so we’re clear,” she smirked.
Cairo rolled her eyes at that. “Let’s just go and eat,” she hoped the promise of food would make Winnie stop already, seeing as nothing else was working.
“You’re paying this time,” Winnie nudged her.
“Only if you stop teasing me about Y/N,” Cairo felt hopeful, she should have known better.
Winnie looked through her bag and fished out her wallet. “Would you look at that, looks like you’re out of luck.”
This was hell. She had no doubt about that.
~X~
That day after the classes she dropped by the post office and looked around for the mailman assigned to her part of the village, meaning he also delivered to your place as well. “Hey, I was wondering if you’d be willing to do me a favor?” she said with a polite smile and two hundred dollars peaking right for him to see.
“Maybe,” he said slowly and she slid the money and an envelope across the table. “I need you to deliver this, not to the address written on the letter, but to another address instead,” she slipped another paper, this one with your address on it.
What would you do? Wait until Saturday and bring the letter to her at a convenient moment, or would you use the chance to come and see her? She wanted to see if you were as eager to spend time with her as she was to spend it with you. If you felt the madness she felt, or if you could resist it.
She hoped you wouldn’t be able to. She hoped you longed for her as much as she longed for you.
A/N: Well, a short one, but sometimes these happen as well. But, would you look at that, we're halfway done!
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@alexkolax @ioveyouyouloveme @aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh @autorasexy
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