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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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mrswint3rs · 4 months

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˚୨୧⋆｡˚⋆ Much Needed Company ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

pairings- Sugar Daddy! Leon x Fem! Reader

a/n- wrote this with Vendetta Leon in mind ! (sorry i got lazy but maybe i’ll do something more with this eventually?)

NSFW WARNING :

contains- Depressed Leon, brief mentions of alcohol, mild daddy kink, use of pet names, sending nude images and videos, phone sex, guided masturbation?, reader is kind of innocent and inexperienced 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Leon put most of his money into buying booze. It seemed to be the only thing that could keep his mind off of the shitty life he’s had so far.

Until he met you.

It happened by chance online. You put up some post in dire need of financial assistance. Leon saw your pleas as fate. It was the perfect opportunity to do good with what he had. So he directly messaged you as soon as he saw it.

Everything started off rather innocently. Leon payed you weekly, free of charge. In a way it made him feel like he was saving you, something he’s always struggled with doing before.

A lot of the time that was all he could think about. The loss of many from his job weighed heavily on his mind. He was no hero, no matter how hard he tried to front.

You gave him a chance at redeeming himself.

The saying 'money can't buy happiness' had been proven to be a complete fallacy as he actually got to know you. He didn’t think people as pure as you even existed anymore.

He found himself growing attached to you the more you chatted. The world had been unfair to the both of you. You were so sweet regardless. Meanwhile, he was just moping around, constantly angry and self-pitying.

Just talking with you made those negative feelings fall away. You became the main focus of his attention, making his days go by much easier. It wasn’t a burden to open his eyes in the morning anymore. Not when he had your sweet good morning texts to look forward to.

Things were supposed to be casual between the two of you, but you quickly became his whole world. He could hardly sleep at night without calling you over the phone. He loved just listening to you talk about how your day went.

»--•--«

You couldn’t help but feel like you were taking advantage of this man. You were grateful, no doubt, but he was paying you for nothing. You didn’t have to do anything, just talk with him for a bit and he’d drop a whole 2 months worth of rent in your bank account without an issue.

Leon never asked anything of you. You wondered if he ever would. It’s been 3 months of just talking and he never once made things weird.

That in itself made you want to give him something.

He was so generous, actually listened when you spoke. Not to mention, he was incredibly handsome. But you figured he probably had a girlfriend, looking the way he did. That would explain why he never made a move or asked you for things like most men. Or maybe he just wasn’t interested in you that way.

The thought worried you until you grew the confidence to ask him straight up.

You’re surprised to hear he’s been single for as long as he can remember. A guy like him didn’t have a special someone?

But really, you were relieved to know he was available. Not just for his money. Leon was the whole package it seemed. Though, you’ve never met in person, he was everything you could ever need.

So, you decide to do something out of the ordinary.

You know it’s probably not equivalent to the thousands of dollars he’s gifted you over the months, but you wanted to give something in return.

After many attempts of trying to get the right angles and lighting, you finally get a decent shot.

Your thumb hovers over the send button for a while. You wonder if it’ll upset him or make things awkward if he’s not interested. Or if you should have asked before hitting send.

You anxiously sit in bed, waiting for his response and refuse to look at your phone in the meantime. You’re overthinking the whole thing, fearing he might block you or something. He doesn’t usually take this long to respond and isn’t normally busy at this time of night.

You swear you’re about to have a heart attack when your phone finally chirps.

You rush to check it, almost embarrassingly fast and you’re greeted with a video from Leon. With sound.

His hand pumps over his length at a slow pace as the other holds his phone and records. He was almost teasing with the way he’d tap his fingers over the tip, drawing a string of his leaking precum. His breath was heavy, soft groans sounding from his lips.

He was taking his time, corkscrewing with his palm over and over making a wet, squishy sound with the lube he was using.

He didn’t say anything, but you understood it was your turn to send one back.

You set up your phone between your legs, parting them to reveal your dripping cunt. In return, you slowly, teasingly rub over your clit and folds, smearing your juices.

You quietly moan out as you slip your fingers inside, curving them up to feel for that sensitive spot. You scissor your digits in and out, attempting to match the length of time his video was before pausing to send it. Only you’re not feeling confident enough to keep the sound on just yet.

“Let’s call.” he replies this time, shortly after you sent it.

He doesn’t give you much time to think before your phone starts ringing and his contact info displays full screen.

Feeling pressured, you answer.

Leon’s camera is already on, only showing his gruff face for now. You’re only half showing yours. Even though you just sent the man 90% of your body through text, you’re feeling nervous.

“Don’t be shy princess,” Leon speaks up, his voice low yet soft. “Let me see your pretty face, hm?” He wore a cheeky grin, just waiting patiently.

You give in to him and show yourself, not wanting to make things awkward. “Hey..sorry.”

“Good girl. There’s no need to be so nervous with me.”

Unsure of how to reply, you just sit there. You had never done anything like this and you didn’t even know how to initiate it. He was the one who wanted to transfer it over to a call, so you let him take the lead.

Except he wasn’t.

You sat in a deafening silence for a while, just sort of looking at each other through the screen before he finally said something again. “If you wanna see it you gotta ask me, baby.”

As you’re put on the spot you once again go silent. You didn’t know how to word it. Over text was one thing, but vocally saying such things was another story.

“Aw, c’mon,” Leon teases. “You can do it. Tell me what you want and you’ll get it.”

From the way his camera was slightly shaking, and the way he was breathing you could tell he was already going at it. He was just waiting for you to warm up to him.

Leon adored your innocent aura and was willing to be patient with you. He loved the way you depended on him, but he also wanted you to be able to let loose on your own. He didn’t want you to feel pressured or like you had to give him anything. He would still reward you regardless.

“Can I see it?” you manage to mutter out.

But Leon decides to tease you further by playing dumb.

“See what, baby?”

That grin of his made your stomach do flips. You hated but loved the way he pushed you to do things.

“Can I see your…cock,” you stutter out

Immediately he lowers his phone, revealing the entirety of his naked body. His dick was firmly gripped in his hand, fully hardened still. “Atta’ girl. So proud of you.”

He starts to stroke with his hand again, slowly going over the whole length and back up again.

You follow him, putting the phone back between your legs quickly. Just the sight of him made you a sopping wet mess, there was no hiding that.

Leons movements grow faster when you reveal yourself.

“Touch yourself…” he groans, “touch yourself for daddy.”

The use of the name makes you tingle a bit, and you oblige. You sink your fingers into your tight opening once more, slowly pumping in and out for him.

Your weak whimpers rile him even further. His own voice heightens in volume as he rapidly fucks into his hand. “So fuckin’ pretty, baby. Spread a little further for me.”

Your free hand comes down to part your lips as he asked. You pry yourself open for his hungry eyes.

“Good girl, now rub your clit. Want you to cum.”

You do as told. Your two middle fingers stuff your cunt while your other hand starts to rub at your clit. Leon let’s out needy groans. He desperately chases his high, stroking the head of his cock trying to finish. “Can you be a dirty girl for daddy? Be a little louder.”

Reluctantly, you stop holding back. Watching as his hand races, you try to match pace, imagining your fingers as his cock.

His voice is enough to make you dizzy.

You feel your walls start to pulse, that tightening in your core. You never knew simple masturbation could feel so good.

Leon finishes before you do, shooting cum all over his taut abs. It uncontrollably spills into his hand as he keeps stroking.

You finish soon after at the sound of his moaning babbles. Your back arches into your hand as it hits, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Fuck…you’re shaking.” Leon chuckles a bit at this, coming down from his climax. His stroking comes to a halt as his cock becomes far too sensitive to keep touching.

“Maybe next time I’ll have my vacation where you are. That way I can calm you down after I ruin you.”

With a content sigh, he lets go, letting his softening length lay across his lower stomach. He brings his phone back up to his flushed face and you follow suit.

He goes on pause, seemingly doing something else on his phone.

You soon after get a notification. $850 transferred.

“For lingerie next time. We should do this more often,” he states, “or you could catch a flight down here?”

mlist

#leon kennedy x reader smut #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon resident evil #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil vendetta #vendetta leon #re #reaident evil #resident evil vendetta leon #fem reader #smut #resident evil #fanfiction #rushed

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monsterblogging · 12 days

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So, it finally clicked that while the average person does in fact broadly comprehend that people are neither good nor evil - they're good and bad, and have free will - they also can't understand why some people would fully commit themselves to completely awful causes or to being a terrible person throughout their entire lives. They can't really picture how this works, because they can't imagine themselves choosing to die on a hill of Being A Terrible Person.

This void in their comprehension is where the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is very likely to come and settle in sooner or later, because it seems to finally provide an answer that makes sense of otherwise senseless cruelty and violence. Agonizing questions like "Why would my boyfriend spend so much energy on making me feel like shit and breaking me down?" "Why would this historical figure decided to kill all of these people?" and "Why would this guy go start a cult and murder everyone?" are finally given an answer, and the formerly-bewildered person finally has some peace of mind.

Because of this, the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is incredibly hard to get out of people's minds once it takes root. For one thing, bad ideas are like bad habits; it doesn't really work to tell people to Just Stop With Them, because without something else to take its place? They're going to fall back on it.

And if somebody's been traumatized from abuse? The last thing they want to hear is that they're basically dehumanizing their abuser and that's not cool, because it feels to them like the other person is taking their abuser's side and telling them to get fucked. Even if this not what's happening, the survivor's brain is currently operating on fight/flight/fawn/freeze mode, and a brain operating fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode is keyed to making snap decisions to try and remove you from the danger as soon as possible, which means categorizing everything into black and white. This person couldn't care less about the history of eugenics right now; literally all they care about is being safe.

"Okay, so if the Ontologically Evil Person doesn't exist, how the hell do you explain those fuckers over there?" some of you are probably asking.

Here's the deal. Literally every human being alive can and will do terrible things if they're sufficiently scared and desperate. They're in no position to appreciate that nearly all asshole behavior can be explained by a lack of critical social and self-management skills, or by a lack of access to self-improvement (including being too traumatized to trust means of self-improvement).

People who are scared, insecure, and under high levels of stress will often cling to anything that makes them feel better, because they want to feel safe and secure and not in psychological and/or physical agony. (Stress does an absolute number on your body, too.)

Being reliant on a shitty behavior, belief system, or product for some measure of feeling secure and safe is how you get people saying things like "If I didn't act mean, everyone would just walk all over me!" or "I was really depressed before I found this, so if I gave it up I'm going to get depressed again, and I might hurt myself." (And there might be some truth to this one! This might indeed happen if they give it up cold turkey, and without finding an alternative!) It's how you get people conducting """scientific""" studies to """prove""" that their bigotry is totally justified and not at all irrational. ("Well of course these people are genetically inferior, they wouldn't be poor and disease-ridden if they weren't... what do you mean, systemic inequality and uneven healthcare access? No that's obviously fake and made up by More Bad People.")

People also act in unhealthy ways to deal with personal insecurities implanted by parents or society. You have people out there whose parents drummed it into their heads that second place was for worthless losers, or that no one would love them if they didn't look or act a certain way. You have people who absorbed the idea that acknowledging the basic humanity of shitty people means that they have to forgive them and personally help them get better and just suffer through the abuse in the meantime.

This is how people choose to die on the hill of Being A Terrible Person. They weren't ontologically evil. They were scared, and they thought they saw a fortress on the top of that hill that would keep them (and perhaps also their loved ones) safe.

#evil #morality #people #shitty people #abuse #radicalization

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fereldanwench · 4 months

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I didn't want to completely sit out a year-in-review, but for reasons I'll explain at the end of this post and under a cut, doing the traditional pick-one-pic-from-each-month approach just wasn't going to work for me. So instead, here are 20 of my favorite shots (in no particular order) of Valerie from 2023!

(I'll share solo Goro shots and shippy/story shots in two other posts before the year ends.)

Some thoughts about this year (cw for anxiety and depression mentions):

So yeah. I actually hadn't planned on joining in on the virtual photography year-in-review fun in part because... Well, frankly, I wasn't sure if it would actually be fun for me.

Although I do have pictures for every month, the first third, maybe even half, of the year was a struggle on almost every conceivable level. A lot of it was shit that carried over from the end of 2022, which was also an incredibly difficult year for me. I don't really want to delve too deeply into why--Some of it was personal, some of it was professional, some of it was fandom, and if you know, you know.

The main obstacle I had here is that looking at a lot of the shots I took from about January to May (give or take a few weeks on either end) honestly reminded me of Bad Times™️. I've worked really hard to pull myself out of that depression/anxiety cycle and return to a healthier approach to fandom and online socialization in general, but I just didn't want to spend a lot of time in that mental space. There are a few shots from those months that made it to my favorites, and I hope one day I can look back on that stuff and just feel the good from it again. Alas, that day is still not here.

But I am happy to report that the other reason I wanted to approach the review differently is a lot more positive! It's also two-fold: 1) I spent the earlier part of this year exploring more of a technical side of virtual photography and 2) I was really prolific the last third or so of this year so trying to narrow faves from about August until now was just not possible.

One of the few good things about the end of 2022 was being able to upgrade my graphics card, which meant I then had a rig that could support ray-tracing and hot sampling. As a result, I started putting a lot more focus on lighting and getting acquainted with new tools. I also was trying to work with the new AMM posing system, which is very convenient in some ways (100s of poses without reloading the game!) and a complete pain in the ass in others (can't move characters without their poses breaking!). Custom photomode poses + Nibbles Replacer has been the game changer I've been waiting for.

Or to put it more succinctly, December 2022 through about April 2023 felt like a relearning/return to basics kind of creative period, which is essential, but also means I just don't really like a lot of what I did, lmao.

Then, shockingly (I'm not shocked at all), starting treatment for my anxiety and depression in the second half of this year suddenly made creating a lot easier and fun again! Crazy how that works.

Even bumping this little review up to 20 shots instead of 12, there are still pictures from the past few months that I had to cut as favorites. There was just no way I could condense the amount of fave shots I took from August to now in just 5 options.

I also owe quite a bit of this revival to modders for asking me if I wanted to take shots for them--Exploring more of a fashion photography approach to my shots I think did a lot to build on what I had learned earlier in the year and encouraged me to try something new. I don't want to tag anyone in this long-ass glorified diary entry, but if you invited me to take mod shots for you, just know that it really meant a lot. ♡

And that's where my head has been with a yearly review! Is filling out a little template with 12 pictures this serious? No, it definitely is not, lmao. But hey, overthinking shit is still something I'm working on. ✌️

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077edit #cp2077 screenshots #oc: valerie v powell #g: cyberpunk 2077 #mine: edits

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velomiu · 10 months

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How I changed my mindset ʚ♡ɞ

Hello lovelies, for my first post I'm going to explain how I changed my negative mindset into a positive one!

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

Tip No. 1: Stop overthinking

You need to realise that no matter what you do, how popular or successful you are, people don't think about you nearly as much as you think about yourself. So stop worrying about "embarrassing yourself" because really nothing is that deep or that serious.

In the end you're just creating more problems for yourself, most of them not even being real problems. As the stoic philosopher Seneca once said, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."

Tip No. 2: Stop consuming negative content

If you're like me, you've definitely at least once scrolled on tiktok for hours watching "relatable" or just overall depressing content. Now, I'm not telling you to delete tiktok, but instead of consuming depressing and negative content (on any app) you should try consuming something positive and/or something that motivates you to get up and do something.

For example, instead of listening to a playlist like "crying myself to sleep" or "for when you're a disappointment", you should try listening to a playlist with fun and upbeat music. I know this may sound silly but, at the end of the day, the media you consume every day for multiple hours on end really impacts the way you see life.

Tip No. 3: Learning to romanticise your life

Now I'm going to use something from my real life as an example, so I don't have any friends in school, I do outside of school, but at school I feel pretty lonely. What I used to do was go to school every day and think of all the reasons why someone from my class wouldn't like me, and that made me feel very insecure.

I stopped doing that once I realised how hurtful that mindset is. Now, instead of that, I like to romanticise being alone. As it turns out, a lot of things can be romanticised. I'm not saying this can be applied for everyone, as some people really do have tragic situations and living conditions that can't and shouldn't be romanticised. But, if this does work for you, you'll find that romanticising life makes it a lot more fun and exciting.

Tip No. 4: Remember your goals

In my opinion, having a goal to work towards is what makes life what it is. For example, you're saving money for a new pair of shoes, you're thrilled thinking about the day when you'll finally be able to buy them, you're also scared that you won't be able to save enough money. When you do finally get them, though, even though you're incredibly happy, you'll also feel a bit empty, given that now you don't have a goal to work towards.

Goals are the essence that drives us in life, so whenever you don't know what to do, maybe you're bored, maybe you're feeling depressed, whatever, use that time to devote yourself to achieving whatever goal you have. It doesn't matter what the goal is, necessarily, if you want better grades, study, if you plan on losing weight, exercise, remember your goals because they are what keep you going in life. Even if nothing else has ever worked out for you, just having a goal is a great start.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

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ranpoedgw · 10 months

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the sugar-coating of ranpoe

as we're all familiar with, ranpoe is a pretty popular ship in the bsd fandom and is often said to be a very healthy/fluffy ship. however, fanon ranpoe is honestly an incredibly sugar-coated version of how they really are in canon. ranpoe is not the fluffy innocent ship people think they are, and are in fact almost as bad as many other ships in bsd. let me explain.

first, i want to talk about the babyfication of ranpoe *in canon*. yes i know authors can't mischaracterise their own characters, but that doesn't mean they can't choose to portray them through a warped view. in ranpoe's case, it's also the authors themselves who choose to portray ranpoe as a comic relief duo. like, the way poe commits (attempted) murder is so unserious? and ranpo (as usual) just... doesn't seem to care that poe tried to kill him? and encourages him to try again?

compared to skk for example, who when they try to kill each other it's actually portrayed with some kind of intense hatred and/or murderous intent.

of course i'll never know what the authors were thinking, but they probably chose to portray ranpoe as such with the intention of ranpoe being a fluffy crack ship. which is fine, because they're the authors obviously and they can do what they want, and this also gives ranpoe their own unique dynamic. however, the issue with this is that it causes people to be completely blinded towards what's actually happening between ranpoe, and only see them through the rose-tinted glasses which the authors have handed to us. hence, i'm going to objectively recount everything that happened with ranpoe.

around six years ago, ranpo beat poe in a battle of wits.

poe went into this reclusive state where he refused to interact with other people, and is implied to have been suicidal/depressed.

eventually, poe decides to plot his revenge by writing a novel in order to kill ranpo and obtain the praise and glory that ranpo has.

six years pass.

poe meets ranpo again, and tries to kill him. he fails.

they end up establishing a mutual relationship where poe writes novels, and ranpo gives him feedback. poe no longer seems to want revenge.

fast forward to chapter 80, by this time ranpo has asked poe for help regarding a lot of things, all agency-related.

one, ranpo said he wanted a showdown to trick poe into writing a novel for him, which he then used against chuuya.

he asked poe to write a novel in about ~30 mins to corner mushitaro.

in the volume 20 omake, ranpo also asked poe to write a novel to house 3 people by the next day.

ranpo asked poe to help him rescue the agency members in chapter 80. poe helped to snipe the lock on kunikida's cell, and prepare a vehicle to save yosano.

in the recent chapters, it was also mentioned that ranpo had poe write a novel to trap fukuchi.

based on this brief (??) summary, you can probably see a bunch of things which are not very right. first of all, poe experienced severe withdrawal after losing his match with ranpo, and for six years his only goal was to defeat him. secondly, poe is doing a LOT of things for ranpo, which aren't really reciprocated. there might also be other things, but i will just focus on these two.

1. poe is heavily reliant on ranpo.

as you can see, poe is a pretty fragile person. he lost one match to ranpo and basically gave up on life. he became overly reliant on ranpo's existence to affirm his own, and even now he dreads the possibility of ranpo dying and leaving him without a rival. and while poe who has almost no friends is entirely dependent on ranpo, ranpo always has the agency to support him, so he isn't all that emotionally dependent on poe. he still needs poe for his novels and such, but it's not often that he shows/says that poe is really important to him as a person. however, ranpo does clearly appreciate poe's intellect and abilities and praised him before. ranpo never praises people, so this is a pretty big occurrence.

in this sense, poe really needs ranpo but ranpo doesn't realllly need poe (or at least he doesn't show it).

2. poe does a lot for ranpo but not the other way round. i think this kind of speaks for itself tbh. poe helps ranpo with a whole lot of things, and ranpo doesn't give him much in return. obviously there is something wrong with this, but because poe is so eager to impress/help ranpo, he seems to have no issues with this.

as you may (unfortunately) know, because of the above reasons some people say that ranpoe's relationship is "toxic" or "abusive", but i believe this is inaccurate. based on a few dictionaries, the word "toxic" carries the meaning of unpleasant, extremely harsh, malicious or harmful. however, ranpo asking poe for help with a lot of things isn't done with the intention to harm or assert control over poe. he just really needs poe's help and poe is willing as well as capable. also, he probably isn't aware that he's overworking poe because he's not sensitive to other people's emotional needs or wants. and poe doesn't do all this because ranpo is threatening him, he's just very (overly) eager to do it.

despite everything, ranpoe isn't completely horrible. they're not the best, but they certainly aren't the worst. none of them seem to visibly hold grudges or have issues with the other, and are generally happy with their current arrangement. they share each other's interests and provide the other with the intellectual stimulus that they need.

also, the authors' "sugar-coating" of their relationship isn't completely off. due to the nature of their personalities, it still makes sense that they can get along. after all, ranpo was once held at gunpoint when he was 14 and didn't give a flip so i doubt he'd really care about poe attempting to murder him. and on poe's side, i think he's always been fragile and a little pathetic so this is pretty normal for him.

and even though their relationship is kinda unbalanced, they do hold each other in equally high regard (including ranpo, although he doesn't show it. he doesn't really show anything) this is also why i think ranpoe isn't an idol-fan relationship. parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence. poe definitely extends a lot of energy in helping ranpo, i don't deny. but the baseline for a parasocial relationship is that one person is almost unaware of the other. before guild arc this was true, but right now ranpo is very much aware of poe's existence, and admires poe just as much as poe does him. hence, i don't think ranpoe is a parasocial relationship.

overall, ranpoe is still heavily sugar-coated by the fandom and authors who don't really acknowledge the issues within their relationship. however the rose-tinted glasses don't completely warp everything, and their dynamic, both canon and fanon, isn't totally off from how it should be, based on my knowledge of their personalities. they're just a silly little couple doing their silly gay things. everything is fine (half lying)

thanks for reading 🔥🔥

#analysis #ranpo edogawa #bsd #bungo stray dogs #ranpo #ranpoe #poe bsd #bsd edgar allan poe

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pupmkincake2000 · 6 months

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The main problem in Stardew Valley and DBH fandom is that people often misinterpret the characters' personalities and behavior. Especially when it comes to shipping or relationships. In Stardew it's Shane, in DBH it's Hank.

I often see people say that Shane “can be a good friend, but he will make a bad husband. A Farmer shouldn’t marry him. He’s an alcoholic, he can’t be fixed.”

And I see almost the same thing about Hank: “Connor shouldn’t be his nanny, this is consumerism on Hank’s part, he's alcoholic, he can’t be fixed” and a lot of other things like this.

But this is actually sad to realize that this is the way people perceive the usual care that any good person would show towards their friend or lover or just someone close. Although, people like when characters take care of each other, yet when we talk about Shane and Hank, people consider this care to be nothing but some kind od babysitting or other crap that actually has nothing to do with the Shane/Farmer and Hank/Connor relationships.

Let me explain.

For starters, what do Shane and Hank have in common? They are both deeply depressed, both have lost the will and interest in life after the death of someone dearest, both have suicidal tendencies and drink alcohol.

However, both still cling to life, despite all the pain they experience, both work hard. The main argument against Shane is his messy room after the wedding and the fact that he drinks cider or beer about twice a week. Hank's house is a bit of a mess too. Still, both of them are incredibly strong. Shane is aware of his problem, as well as Hank, the Farmer just needs to push him a little so he could start healing. In Hank's case, Connor helps him to believe that the world can become a better place.

It is very difficult for people who have never dealt with depression to understand those who have it. This illness cannot be removed simply by taking a pill. It can torture you from the inside for many years and you may simply not know that you have depression. In this state, it is very difficult to take care of yourself, or even think about cleaning the house you live in, it is very difficult to concentrate on work, you may have problems with memory, sleep, you may be haunted by constant fatigue and suicidal thoughts, which are incredibly difficult to get rid of. For some people with depression, it will take years to even feel a little better. Depression may not go away at all and you will have to take pills and visit a psychiatrist for the rest of your life. At the same time, you may think that you are just a lazy piece of shit who simply cannot clean up your own apartment. Depression is scary.

I can tell as a person who has depression, officially confirmed by specialists. Living with depression means fighting for your life every day. And, unfortunately, it is almost impossible to cope with it alone. Often, in order to simply start fighting depression, people need a push and help, and those who say such nasty things about Hank and Shane do not understand this.

There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in accepting help.

What Farmer and Connor do is not babysitting, it is caring.

Shane and Hank don't need to be fixed, and I am truly disgusted by those who say "they can't be fixed".

Shane and Hank are not broken (depressed people are not broken). They are desperate, in pain and need help and care.

Both Connor and Farmer help them

heal.

They don't try to fix them,

they just help them heal.

This is what

care

is.

Many people say that Connor shouldn’t become a housewife/babysitter/nanny etc. for Hank… but excuse me, if your loved one gets sick, will you not take care of them? Will you not cook them food and support them during a difficult period of life? Does caring mean being a housewife/babysitter/nanny etc.?

It's called caring, caring for someone you love, and that's what Connor and Farmer do. They take care of Hank and Shane when the men have a difficult period of life. And accepting this care, this love, accepting this help is not selfishness or consumerism or predatory behavior. This is normal for those who sincerely want to survive and recover. Heal.

There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in accepting help/love, remember?

Yeah, Shane doesn't stop drinking right away. If you have depression and drink because of it, it is very difficult to stop drinking right away. And a can of beer twice a week is not a crime. However, Shane tries, he really tries to heal, he looks after the house, helps on the farm and wants a family. Same thing with Hank. It is unlikely that he will immediately stop drinking, but he is also trying, he began to smile sincerely and was ready to give his life for even the tiniest hope that the world could be better, that androids would become the new hope of humanity.

It is incredibly difficult for depressed people to accept help from others. The fact that Hank accepted Connor, believed the android is alive and tried to protect the androids, only tells us he was ready to fight for his life, that he wanted to live and to be happy again, and it was Connor who was the one who gave him that push, it was Connor who became the reason of Hank's healing. And for Shane it was Farmer and there is nothing wrong with them getting married, because Shane, just like Hank, is ready to change, ready to heal, ready to fight for his happiness.

Hank and Shane are wonderful characters, and I believe they deserve love and happiness more than anyone else.

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itsmyfandomandilikeit · 8 months

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What exactly is the deal with T'Lyn?

So now that T'Lyn is a recurring character in Lower Decks, we're getting a lot more of her character, motivations, and personality. But from the getgo, the show has introduced her as being a nonstandard Vulcan.

Spoilers for Lower Decks 4x03 and all of Star Trek Enterprise below the cut.

T'Lyn has been kicked out of the Vulcan Science Directorate for being too much of a wild card, and she wants to get back in. This is her stated motivation for this season.

However, she is still steadfastly attached to her individuality. She refuses to stop using phrases like "I believe" when justifying her scientific claims, and she wears a headband, which no other Vulcan wears. On the Cerritos, she openly displays empathy, even if in her own way, and serves as a pivotal motivator for Boimler in this week's episode. She does so by easily and immediately understanding his perspective and responding to his current state of mind.

She doesn't appear to know of a reason why she's different from other Vulcans, at least in a significant way. She believes that her dismissal was unjust and she should be allowed back into the VSD.

For one, I think it's obvious that T'Lyn's arc will result in her giving up on returning to the Vulcan Science Directorate. She has to accept herself as an individual separate from the collective and realize that her personal value is illogically squashed if she can't use her unique judgment in the line of duty.

But, secondly, I believe it will be revealed that T'Lyn is the great granddaughter of T'pol and Trip Tucker.

Mike McMahon (McMahan?) has stated that he'd love to write for T'pol. There has been enormous interest from the fandom and creatorship as a whole in revisiting the character, both for the sake of her popularity and to canonize the post-Enterprise books which retcon the main series' pointlessly depressing ending. However, Jolene Blalock has retired from acting, and it doesn't look at all trivial to talk her into coming back. The idea has been floated to ask her to record a few lines for Lower Decks rather than fly her out to dress her up to be in Strange New Worlds, if an appearance can be made at all.

I think T'Lyn is a way around this whole problem. We've got a new, cool Vulcan character. She's smart as a whip, cool under pressure, and she's incredibly empathetic in a way that confronts people's feelings with gentle logic.

Her arc about breaking away from the Vulcan Science Directorate mirrors T'pol's arc far more than, say, Spock, who is a human-Vulcan hybrid but whose arc explores completely different themes.

T'Lyn is obviously a capable science officer, but what sets her apart is her empathy and her steadfast belief in her own feelings. I think, in the absence of another explanation such as a nonstandard upbringing (which I don't think has been hinted) this can be explained by her being 1/8 human. Hell, 1/8 made up of an incredibly kind and caring human who was so kind and caring he ended up in a situation where this is a plausible outcome.

Finally, one of ENT's most beloved episodes is Carbon Creek, which takes place 200 years earlier and is about T'pol's great grandmother. I think it would be sweet if T'Lyn's arc is mirroring that situation, 200 years later.

Whether or not I'm right, I'm loving T'Lyn and I'm loving the fact that she's here so much more this season. I'm excited to see where this goes.

#Star trek #star trek lower decks #lower decks #Star trek enterprise #T'Lyn #T'pol #Trip Tucker #Lower decks spoilers #Star trek spoilers

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jung-koook · 8 months

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that photo jeongguk posted left me so inspired and wanting to share something here about myself with you guys. in 2019 I was feeling very physically tired and a friend told me that by going to the gym I would feel more energetic, but I didn't care much about it. I said "I'm going to wait for a sign telling me to join a gym". and after that jeongguk started posting videos of him at the gym and my friends said that was the sign I was asking for. 😂 I joined the gym but didn't take it seriously and I felt uncomfortable there.

I was always thin but I never thought my body was beautiful. and I felt super uncomfortable with the size of my breasts. especially because of how it got men's attention. A few months before the pandemic I had scheduled surgery to reduce the size of my breasts, but for obvious reasons I didn't have this surgery. when everything went back to "normal" I was too lazy to go through the pre-surgery procedures all over again and left this plan for other time.

at the end of 2022, my therapist said she was pregnant and that she wouldn't be able to see me anymore because of that. I was lost. especially because it's hard to find a good therapist and one that I feel comfortable with. but in 2022 I was a person who was seeing beauty where I used to not even notice. I started to think that being thin wasn't something that suited me and wasn't something that I found beautiful about myself. I started to find fit bodies more beautiful. so as I was lost in 2023 then I decided switched to another gym and start taking this seriously. and after that everything changed in my life. even with depression and having ups and downs, I started to feel happier, I started to feel more comfortable with my body and I started to admire my body. my confidence has completely changed. I started wearing clothes that I want without wanting to hide my body. the size of my breasts also changed to something that was more proportional to my body. It's not something that bothers me anymore. my back is extremely hot now. I even admire myself in the gym mirror sometimes lmaooo😂

I still have a lot to change about myself, especially my relationship with food, but I have to say that no one motivated me about gym more than jeongguk, namjoon and the other members. especially jeongguk for being the one who talks about it the most. in my real life, literally everyone who wanted an opinion on this, even though I never asked for their opinion, said that my body was beautiful that I shouldn't go to the gym because I would look like a man LOL. but I really am someone who doesn't care about anyone's opinion on something as personal as my body. but having jeongguk and namjoon talking about the gym and stuff like that really made me more motivated to keep going to the gym. I look at their bodies and I'm so impressed not only by how hot they are but by their dedication.

I think it's so amazing, I don't know if it's because they're close to my age but bangtan always helps me with something about my life. it's incredible but often they say something that is literally like advice for some situation I'm going through in life,. other times it is something that motivates me, other times it comforts me. it's amazing how they help us without even knowing what we're going through, without even knowing us. when I say they are my best friends it's because of that. I really can't imagine what my life would be like without having bangtan by my side. in a different way that but in such an important and special way. they really impact my life in ways that I can't explain because if I try I'll burst into tears.

thank you bangtan for everything you guys did and do for me without even knowing me ♡🥹

#OK IM LEAVING

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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AITA for telling my mother to stop calling my disability a superpower?

I (17M) and my brother (11M) are both autistic. I was diagnosed significantly later in life than my brother as I was able to mask my autistic traits until puberty hit. My mother is not autistic, and our dad is. Recently, we were having a conversation about our diagnosis in the car with her, and she started on a very common tangent by calling our disability a "superpower", and explaining that because we're autistic, we are able to analyze situations in different ways. My mother says this kind of thing often, and usually I stay quiet about it.

My autism actually significantly impaired my ability to understand situations where I was in danger, and led to me being bullied a lot when I was younger. I was incredibly lonely as a child and due to being isolated by people around me for being "weird" (undiagnosed autistic) I became severely depressed, believing it was entirely my fault. I also developed PTSD and an anxiety disorder due to the bullying by both my peers and teachers. I brought this up, and my brother also brought up the fact that he had really bad issues being able to work well in class before we were able to get accommodations set up for him, to the point where he was almost expelled from school due to lashing out because of overstimulation several times.

My brother and I both said that it was hurtful to call something that had impacted our lives so overwhelmingly negatively a superpower, and asked her to stop. She got upset at this, and asked if I was upset that she was trying to "boost our self-esteem" so we didn't feel bad about it. I told her no, but it felt condescending and upsetting to be told that something that disabled us a superpower. She got even angrier then, and seemed to only focus on me and not my brother at this point.

She asked if I hated this or just hated her, to which i told her no, I just don't like being told my disability is a good thing. She said she meant well and I told her that even if something is done in good faith, it doesn't always end up actually being a good thing. After this, she got really quiet but you could still feel the anger radiating off of her. When we got home, she was very snappy and sent both my brother and myself to our rooms.

I don't think I said anything wrong, but I can't really read tone very well and maybe I said something to upset her. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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morallyinept · 5 months

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Hey D. How are you doing today, my dude?

Wait, what? Your goldfish died? 😐 I didn't even know you had a goldfish, D... What was it's name?

Goldie? Well... I mean, it's a goldfish, so apt I imagine.

Oh, bud. Don't cry. You'll be alright. It'll take some time, but you'll work through this. And I'm here for you every step of the way. 😚

Yes, we can go and bury Goldie. And have a wake. Sure, sure... I'll get all the boys round and we'll all celebrate Goldie the Goldfish and the incredible eight day life that he led... Would you like that?

Today, Dieter and I are going to be talking about a rather heavy subject, coping with loss. This will include talking about bereavement, as well as other types of loss. Including aquatic fish, apparently.

⭐️ We have two special guests (here's your clues as to who they are: 🤠 & 💪🏻) here to help us today explain how loss has affected them, and how they are moving forward.

☝🏻If you'd rather skip this week's Self-Care with Dieter & Jett because of the subject matter, we completely understand. And if you're currently trying to come to terms with a loss, of any kind, we're sending you our utmost love.

But we hope that this post can help offer some comfort, and a smile, if you need it.

One thing we all have in common, no matter where we come from or where we are in our lives, is that at some point, we will all experience some form of loss.

No D, I'm not talking about losing your keys... again. I told you to put them on the damn hook. 🙄

Loss comes in many forms. It can be the breakdown of a relationship, a friendship, losing a pet or a loved one in their passing. It can also be the loss of some sense of yourself too.

No matter what the loss, we feel it irrevocably and it's something that will always stay with us. When it happens, it can feel like it'll be a mountain that we'll never peak. We can't imagine how we can find the strength to carry on without them.

It can feel like our grief will never subside.

But Dieter and I are here to tell you today, with the help of two special guests, that you can, and will, get through it.

You won't fully move on as such, and anyone that tells you that you will, is probably offering some unhelpful advice or may not have experienced a loss yet themselves. The last thing you want to hear when you're dealing with grief is for someone to tell you "you'll be okay."

Ultimately you will, but hearing it whilst you're grieving isn't helpful to some.

Most people want someone who they can share their feelings with, to talk about the good things. Someone to help navigate through the practical things that come with dealing with a loss. Someone to just hold their hand and sit with them quietly. Some people just want to be left alone.

Grief is such a personal journey, we all deal with it differently. And there's no right or wrong way on how to transition through that journey, but the important thing to try and remember is that you will move forward through it, even if it doesn't feel like it.

And to show yourself some kindness.

But what is grief exactly and why do we feel it?

Grief is our natural reaction to loss. To losing something or someone we hold very dear. It's an emotional response triggered by that loss.

Grief can be difficult and stressful to navigate, and nearly everybody goes through it at some point in their lives. Despite this, it can be very difficult to predict how we might react to a loss, as it's a very individual process.

But everyone will go through the seven stages of grief.

The Seven Stages of Grief

The stages of the grieving process include shock, denial, guilt, anger & bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. However, people don't always go through the process in this particular order, and some steps last longer than the others.

The grieving process is not linear, it is different for us all, but each stage is something you will go through, even if you're unconscious to it.

Shock

When you first find out about the passing of a loved one, your initial reaction might be shock or complete disbelief. You’re not quite in denial, you just can’t even begin to compartmentalise what has just happened. This is a defence mechanism that is designed to protect you from pain.

This stage can explain why we can plan a funeral or make other arrangements immediately after a death - you’re in a state of suspension until you're able to grieve.

Denial

While denial shares similarities to disbelief, it is its own coping mechanism and also helps you to deal with grief and pain. You might simply deny that your loved one is gone, or push the thoughts out of your head. Some people can get stuck in a pathological and chronic state of denial and refuse to admit that anything bad has happened too.

Guilt

Guilt can feel like a punch to the gut. It’s completely normal to wonder what you could have done to prevent the loss from happening. Even if you had no control over it.

Anger & Bargaining

This stage usually occurs after the ceremonies and funerals, for example. The comforting family and friends have left you to be alone, and you’re trying to go about your life as usual. That’s often when the anger comes in, and bargaining as well.

You might start to feel angry at the doctors, or another party, and perhaps even at your loved one themselves for passing. This anger can often cause a person to feel even more guilt, but know that it is entirely normal, and provides a necessary emotional release.

In some cases, people begin to ‘bargain’ mentally, even though they know it's in vain. For example, “I would do anything to have them back.”

Depression

Now that you have fully acknowledged the loss, it is common to experience depression and/or a deep sadness. You may also feel lonely and isolated from other loved ones. This can be an especially poignant time to seek the help and guidance of a grief counsellor who can help you through the pain.

Testing

By this time, you may still find yourself moving up and down the ladder, but are building a new life without your loved one and living a ‘new normal.’ The hurt may feel raw and painful, but you now know that you cannot change the situation.

Though you may not be fully ready to accept it, you know that life has to go on.

Acceptance

The final stage is acceptance. You have worked through the most painful and difficult work of grieving, and you accept that your loved one is gone and that you need to continue living your life.

Although the grief will always be with you to some degree, acceptance helps you make space for it rather than allowing it to control you anymore.

How The Pedro Boys deal with grief

Today, two of the Pedro Boys have offered to share their stories on grief, so that you can better understand the stages of it, and perhaps may even recognise some of them in your own journey.

Jack's Story 🤠

Jack, my darling. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me today.

Aww, you're welcome, sugar. Anything for you, Jett.

Thank you. May I ask about your sweetheart? Can you tell our friends about what happened and how it's affected you, if you're comfortable to?

Sure, sweet thing. You see now, my sweetheart and I we were high school lovers. She was the prettiest darn thing. I knew in my heart I just had to sweep her off her feet from the moment I laid eyes on her.

I bet you did just that.

You know it, darlin'. hearts n' flowers. The whole she-bang. Hoo! She couldn't stand me at first, you know that?

I find that hard to believe, Jack.

Well aren't you just a peach, Jett. Got me blushin' something hard over here. We were lab partners and I was a persistent bastard and not that much good at science. Well, now biology I understand... that's my kind of language! She told me she liked that about me, that I never gave up.

She liked the chase?

We both did. She was a shy little thing and I was, well, just me. Dumb and eager to show her some loving the proper way. I knew she liked me too. She'd had this little smile just for me, and it made me feel all kinds of something.

Well, you're hard to resist, Jack.

You ever been wooed by a cowboy, Jett?

Can't say that I have.

We might have to change that...

Easy now.

I'm just sayin'. You look like you could do with some cowboy in ya. Now who's blushing?

Carry on with the story, handsome.

Well alrighty. I took her to the dance and we just fell for each other in a big ol' way. I suppose you could call it serendipity. Either way she was the love of my life. Oh, you should have seen how hard I fell. Damn fool. My heart was beatin' faster than August rain on a hot tin roof!

That sounds beautiful.

It was. She was somethin' kinda special. Y'all know what happened. And if you don't, I'll break it down for ya nice and simple. She was caught in the crossfire of a robbery whilst out grocery shopping. She was pregnant at the time with my boy.

I'm so sorry, Jack. That must've been so hard for you.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to endure. Harder than catching a knife in a lasso. Did I ever show you that?

You did.

Right, right.

So, how did you cope with your grief?

I didn't. Not really. I don't think you ever cope, darlin'. I hit the bottle, hard. I was so fuckin' angry. Christ, I wanted to tear up the world n' everyone in it, believe me. Kinda lost my way there for a bit.

How did you find your way back?

Statesman pulled me in. Threw myself into work mostly. Just got myself through. Kept on keepin' on. The Boys picked me up too. Had a nice circle to console me. But it was hard. I felt so angry for a long time.

Did you blame yourself?

Absolutely I did! I was the one who sent her to the damned store in the first place. If only I had gone myself earlier that day, y'know? She'd still be here. We'd be together raising our son. But she insisted. She wanted to do it. It's a cruel fate, darlin'.

And how have you processed your anger, and moved forward, do you think?

I'm still working through it. Some days are easier than others. I guess you could say that time is a healer. She's always there, in my heart. She ain't ever gonna leave it. But I know that I can be happy again, I know that she'd want that for me.

She absolutely would, Jack.

It's been a number of years now, and the pain doesn't hurt as much as it used to. It's still there, will be all my life, but I can tune it out now. And that helps some.

I'm glad. You deserve to be happy. Thank you for sharing your story with me, Jack.

Oh, anytime. I'm always fetching to converse with you, Jett. Say, have you ever been to a Rodeo?

No.

Well you might let me take you some time. I reckon you'll learn a thing or two about riding...

Is that so?

Absolutely. I can guarantee you a buck wild night, sugar.

Get out of here, cowboy.

You n' me, darlin' Name the time.

Marcus' Story 💪🏻

Marcus. Sweetheart. Thank you so much for talking with me today.

That's alright, querida. I wanted to help you out. I'm kind of nervous though...

Please don't be. All our friends here love you very much. You're our resident hero!

That's really nice to hear.

So, Marcus, can you start by telling us a little about your wife? Anything that you're comfortable with sharing?

Yes. Of course. Urm, she and I were friends at first, we met through the Heroics Initiative Programme when it was still a fledgling idea. She wasn't a Heroic, but she worked there. We felt an instant attraction to one another. Almost chemically. I was so shy to talk to her, my palms would sweat so much. It made using my powers difficult sometimes...

I imagine that was inconvenient.

Embarrassing too! I was such a giddy fool around her and would always drop my Katanas!

Oh wow!

Yeah. She used to tease me for it. I loved that about her. She was never intimidated by my powers. I know I'm a Heroic, but she made me feel invincible.

That's really sweet, Marcus. I can see she meant so much to you.

We were married for a couple of years before we brought our first house together, and then Missy was born. I...

Are you alright, lovely? Do you need to stop?

No, I'm alright. Talking about it really helps actually.

It really does, doesn't it?

Yeah. Cathartic. It helps keep the memories alive, all the good ones. And that's important.

I think sometimes people, when grieving, think that they'll be a nuisance or a burden wanting to talk about their loss. Like, they don't want to bring anyone else down, you know?

I understand. I think that's normal to feel that way, Jett. But I've found that both Missy and I can share that bond better when we talk about her openly. She's still very much a part of our lives. And talking it over is really a good way at working through it. It helps you process and come to terms with it.

Missy was young when she passed, right?

Yeah, so young. There are things that she doesn't remember about the illness and I'm so grateful for that, it was really hard in the last few days especially. But, there are also pieces of her mom she'll never know too. Like how her eyes would sparkle over something that excited her. Things that only I got to experience.

Is that something you share with Missy?

Yes, all the time. Our collective grief enables us to reminisce and share our personal memories and love for her together. She's got to know her mom through me. I think it's made Missy and I stronger as a family unit. I love her so much. I'm so proud of her. And I know her mom would be too.

Your daughter is lucky to have you as a father, Marcus.

Oh, Jett. Thank you.

So, what about you? How have you worked through your grief?

One day at a time. I had to keep going because I had Missy. One foot in front of the other, right?

Absolutely.

So many people depended on me; the world was literally on my shoulder's most days. I won't sugar coat it, it was really hard. I felt like I wasn't coping, like I was failing at everything. I needed her so much to ground me, and she wasn't here anymore. It was real tough for a while. But I think that got me through. And my mamá. She's been an absolute rock. For both of us.

I'm glad to hear you have love around you. What does life look like for you now?

It's good, really good. I'm allowing myself to enjoy life and not hold back. I think my wife would want that for me.

She absolutely would.

Can I tell you something?

Sure.

I have a date this weekend for the first time in years. Can you believe that?

Marcus! You kept that quiet, that's amazing!

Isn't it? I'm so nervous though! Do you... do you think you could help me out?

Sure! What do you need, sweetie?

Can you help me pick out a new shirt at the store? It's been a while since I've had to make an effort, you know? And I could really use your opinion. Joel says you have great taste.

Joel is correct. I do. Finally got that man wearing something else other than flannel.

He looks better for it.

Right?! That's what I said, but you know Joel... grumpy bastard. Oh, Marcus! Your date is just going to love you. I'm so happy for you!

Thanks, Jett. Really.

I want all the details though... You call me right afterwards, you hear? Tell me EVERYTHING!

I promise.

So D, both Jack and Marcus there were able to kindly share their own experiences of grief and how they've worked through it.

Do you have any more of your own experiences of loss, you want to share with us today, Dieter?

No? Well, that's okay, bud.

Many people deal with loss differently. And it's okay not to want to talk about it right away, but you know I'm always here, right? 🥰

Good. Now, today's been a bit of a heavy one, hasn't it? Why don't we go and do something fun together?

Anything you want... you name it. How does that sound?

Well, I left myself wide open for that, didn't I? Okay. Fine. I mean, I did say anything... 🫣

Dieter and I hope you know that if you're currently coping through a loss, no matter what it is, you are not alone. Please surround yourself with love, there will be people in you life that can help you through this. And we're sending you big love too. 🖤

Here are some helpful links, in case you want to know more 👇🏻

Bereavement Service UK

Bereavement Service US

Coping with Grief - Different examples of Loss

20 ways to take care of yourself whilst grieving

Until next time folks, stay kind & stay creamy. 🖤

YOU. ARE. STRONGER. THAN. YOU. THINK. 🖤

Do you. Then do Dieter.

More Dieter & Jett love here.

ℹ️ Dieter and I always strive to bring you unbiased, fact-checked advice. We're not licensed therapists, so we do a lot of research to ensure we can provide helpful and informative posts. Well, I do. Dieter mostly sits around eating KitKats.

#self care with dieter & jett #dieter bravo #pedro pascal #agent whiskey #marcus moreno #pedro pascal characters #self care #tw bereavement #tw loss #you are stronger than you think #do you #then do dieter #jett's pedro boys

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bilolli · 1 year

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Small things small things!! Slow burn it's always so many small things!

General things:

Like does y/n trusts Moon and Sun immediately because they're their caretakers or y/n is a little wary about them? Same question about Moon and Sun, what is their impression? What makes them change their impression if it was not the best?

Is y/n their first patient?

Will we see other patients? Some crazy funny rich people? XDD

Does Vanessa(or William) use bots for the same bloody things as in fnaf? Like, making them clean up everything, or do the dirty work... You know, in hospital it's much more easily to explain blood on the floor. But animatronics know. And Sun & Moon are afraid that one day it can be y/n's turn?

What IF boys already had a lot of patients but every time their memories are erased so they can concentrate only on their new patient, without any triggers of their past experience?

Sweet things:

What if y/n has cold hands? If so, boys can have a little gesture to try to heat them up every time they can.

y/n doesn't like the food and even if boys are against them eating something unhealthy they still sometimes steal for them, something not so unhealthy but something that y/n likes. Like feeding the cat under the table bhaha

Them having a little "sleepover" together, it's not allowed but who tf cares, Moon reading spooky stories about hospitals, Sun cracking jokes or making some "magic" tricks idk about it haha

Boys being extremely careful with y/n like they're made of glass and y/n acting like they're made of iron XD

Angst/bonding things haha oops:

(cliché one<3) y/n feeling especially unwell, they feel cold, trembling. They try to stand up from their bed, squirming, almost crying, trying to do at least something to feel better and even tho bots try to keep them in place, it doesn't work until y/n just leans on one of them, and surprisingly it helps, they don't try to escape anymore but now dca needs to, apparently stay like this for hours.

What if previous hospital was incredibly terrible sometimes? Like the staff being absolutely indifferent, sometimes scratching skin while taking blood or leaving bruises and so y/n is wary about every move that Sun & Moon do? It worries them a little, making them more aware of their movements as well but after a while y/n sees that they're careful and starts to trust them with it without hesitation?

Y/N can't sleep thinking about their death and shares their thoughts with one of the boys and as much as boys want to say "no, it's not true, you will be okay, everything will be okay" they just... Don't want to lie.(hahaha oh uh oops)

Y/N having a small depressing period about their previous life, before of all of these endless procedures, needles, meds and instructions from nurses. They say that they're so fed up of being locked in here, not realising that boys were locked up from their first day?

What if boys don't know what exactly happened with y/n? Like they know about their injuries but they don't know what caused it and y/n doesn't want to talk about it bc the experience was traumatic?

Y/N needs immediate help from any of the doctors but the second they are brought to the operating room doctors command boys to leave? So they just anxiously make circles near the operating room waiting, afraid that they won't make it

Teasing dialogues, dark humour about death that in the end turns into uhh something even more darker?-

"You look like a deadman"

"You're not far away from truth"

"Wait what"

-Kinda way

I don't know what you have planned for William and Vanessa but boys aren't allowed into some places, like they physically programmed not to go in there but y/n isn't so they go there, have some trouble while Sun & Mon just panic hearing their pleads for help and understanding that they just physically cannot do it?

It's more of an idea for a drabble but y/n starting to make 1000 origami cranes(if you know you know)

Sun & Moon having conflicted feelings about allowing themselves to actually be affectionate to y/n because if they attach their possible death will be x1000 times more painful

Sorry for so big "question" and sorry if it's in someway annoying, I really like this au X'D

OH BOY WAIT, I NEED TO SIT DOWN AND THINK TO ANSWER ALL THAT- OK

I'm gonna aswer under the cut 'cause I don't want to fill all your feed with my ramblings.

Anyway don’t worry! I like when people ask things about my ideas and it helps me focus on some points that I neglected! Thank you for asking!

first of all the general things!

I don't remember if I wrote this in another post but y/n decided to change hospital precisely because the staff of his previous hospital were inappropriate, cold and insensitive.

Not only were they not delicate in any of their activities but the hospital was even overcrowded and y/n had to stay in a room with other 3 people, and 2 of them happened to die in front of y/n for complications linked to hospital viruses. Imagine how traumatizing it must have been for them to just wake up and find out that your roommate, who you may have spoken to a few hours earlier, was dying in front of your eyes and you couldn't do anything but shout for help. Now imagine it happening two times in less than a week. That and the constant paranoia to be the next even if they weren't really ill pushed y/n to change hospital. And to lower the odds that such a thing could happen again they choose the most luxurious private hospital they could get.

They didn't know at the time that they had contracted a similar virus as the ones who died in front of them and they had a panic attack when the new doctors told them.

Hospital viruses are not lethal if treated properly and if the patient is healthy and didn't have previous health complications when they contracted it. But y/n had a pretty significant and recent trauma so that's why the doctors at Faz Co told them to change "plan" and switch to the "premium silver pack" which had an emotional caretaker included.

Now now, about your first question, y/n has no reason not to trust Sun and Moon. They were assured that the animatronics couldn't proceed with any medical treatment so no fear about their touch. They are just a little skeptical because they have never seen such sentient robots and because they are essentially strangers.

Sun and Moon's first impression of y/n was similar. They are a new patient, nothing less and nothing more. It's not like y/n is a super model or special for them at the beginning. They were just another patient who needed their care and a new person they had the possibility to know before they inevitably had to leave them.

The fact that made y/n special is the time they spent together and the memories they created in the meanwhile.

And nope! Y/n isn't their first patient! They had many people they took care of before them.

Some of their previous patients are still alive and well, never to be seen again after they went away from the hospital and they understand why they won't return willingly. Some others unfortunately passed away during their stay and, even if it's never easy, they have learned to accept that as well. They are caretakers in a hospital, they had to.

About other patients, I was thinking of adding some crazy and lunatic rich old woman or man to the story. Something like your typical grandpa/grandma who always talks about their golden age or something similar. It would be funny.

About the use of the animatronics for shady things, they weren't used to take care or clean up the scene in the canon and violent fnaf style.

Before William's death, the previous animatronics didn't have a medical database and access to the patients files so they had to trust what the doctors (and William) said to them. They were used by William to administer poison or other things to the patients without leaving a trace. And if someone noticed it he could just decommission the animatronic in charge at the time and call it a malfunction. No one would ever think it was the genius doctor's fault. But after William's death and the public scandal, Micheal decided to download medical knowledge in their animatronics but to revoke their permission to administer anything to avoid problems and to calm public opinion.

If an animatronic were caught bypassing the rule in some way, they are decommissioned.

Sun and Moon remember every patient they had. Memories, good or bad, are still what makes them the animatronic they are now and to just erase the memories of the people they met (either if they are still alive or if they are deceased) doesn't feel right to them.

NOW SWEET THINGS!

A lot of what you wrote is actually really on point and already in my list of cute things they can do. I won't spoil anything but I'm writing a little shenanigans with food as the main subject (the comic with the whopper is a scene I'm planning to write lol). The "feeding the cat under the table" metaphor is actually a Sun thing! Moon is similar but in a more "do it yourself" way.

"Boys being extremely careful with y/n like they're made of glass and y/n acting like they're made of iron XD" THAT'S THE PLOT. THAT'S THEIR RELATIONSHIP. like:

y/n: yo guys *coughs up blood*

S&M: Y/N YOU OK?????

y/n: yeah, just some allergy thing I think.

Angst/bonding things:

The clichè one is just you reading my mind. And the funny thing is that you are not even the first hahaha. But, hehe, even if it's really similar to the clichè one, the actual episode will be a little bit more dramatic.

I already wrote something about the old hospital and y/n traumas at the beginning but, yeah. Y/n would be sensitive to others' touch at the beginning but they gradually understand that this is a private hospital they are paying big money to stay in, the staff MUST be careful with their patients. And they seem like good people.

That doesn't mean they won't have nightmares about dying like their roommates in the other hospital. And at the beginning Sun and Moon are sure it won't happen. Y/n is young and healthy and they are just recovering from a normal hospital virus and some broken bones so they are not lying when they tell y/n they'll be alright.

When y/n has nightmares about their assault that's another thing. At the beginning they just waited for y/n to be confortable enough with them to explain and then they treated the argument like a normal person would. "Nobody will hurt you here", "you are safe" and they recommend y/n to take some self defense courses when they leave the hospital.

As more time passes their emotions about y/n nightmares are going to change, especially when they contract the unknown disease.

Black humor is a big no no to Sun and not really appreciated by Moon. As medical bots they had to do with the subjects of the jokes a lot and they don't find them really funny.

The boys can go anywhere inside the hospital perimeter, they just won't go in some places because they have no need.

1000 origami cranes hhhhhhhh, it would be just a SHAME if y/n managed to make just 999, uh?

lmao no, they are going to finish them all don't worry. It's actually a cute activity though.

I can imagine Sun bringing a ton of sheets after an especially depressing day/night for y/n and just helping them fold the cranes. They are both really stubborn and they would try to finish all 1000 in a day ending up exhausted. At least that night y/n would be too tired to have nightmares.

Sun and Moon having conflicted feelings about y/n and their situation? Yes.

I think I answered everything? If not I'm sorry hhhh

Anyway don’t worry! I like when people ask things about my ideas and it helps me focus on some points that I forgot about! Thank you for asking!

#this entire ask is going directly in my notes for safe keeping #thank you for asking!#I spent two hours thinking and writing the answer so I really hope it's all clear hhhhhh #some points are a little less detailed because I don't wanna spoil everything #like vanessa's role in the story #hospitalized au #sun/moon x reader

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tyrannuspitch · 6 months

Text

i understand that not everyone knows this, but i would really like the loki fandom to be a little more aware that psychiatry is institutionally biased against people with npd, and this bias is particularly magnified in social media and pop psych for sensationalist, commercial reasons. even the npd diagnostic criteria are Not Great (especially the short version - there is an expanded version!), and even if they were perfect, the understanding of the disorder you get just by reading a checklist is not a whole, rounded picture.

npd is (at least very, very often) a trauma disorder. people with npd having very low self-worth and self-destructive tendencies is incredibly common. npd is not "abuser disorder" or "evil disorder", it's just another mental illness, and honestly, any disorder can be framed in a demonising way if you try. (depressed people are scary because they're obsessed with death! adhd people are scary because they have no control of their emotions or impulses! etc.) i have yet to see a "debunking" of loki being "a narcissist" that gets past this popular, biased surface level.

here and here are two posts explaining how stigma can distort common descriptions of npd symptoms, and here is an unofficial suggested revision of the npd diagnostic criteria written by someone with the disorder to focus on the patient's experiences, and not on how others view them.

loki cannot "too good" to have npd, because having npd does not make you a bad person. reading loki as having npd is not inherently demonising or victim-blaming. and if a specific person's npd loki reading really is doing that, then the fundamental problem is not that they're biased against loki, a fictional character - it's that they're biased against a very vulnerable, stigmatised and real group of mentally ill people.

now that we've dealt with all that - DOES loki have npd?

personally, i go back and forth on whether i think he fully qualifies for the disorder, but as i interpret him, he absolutely does show many traits of npd, such as the following:

perfectionism and fluctuating, fragile self-esteem. he has to be best, because if he isn't the best that would mean he's the absolute worst, worthless, monstrous, unlovable, etc. even when he is succeeding in his goals then maybe he's somehow the best and the worst at once, and almost anything could bring him crashing down again.

constant comparison of himself to others, leading to insecurity, jealousy, bitterness, paranoia...

basing his feelings of safety/security on his connections to people he sees as powerful and/or admirable, and basing his self-esteem on their approval, to the point where he becomes dependent or defines himself by them.

desperately, sometimes destructively, acting out for attention - whether showing off (begging for approval) or picking fights (demanding it.)

experiencing loneliness, shame and guilt easily and extremely intensely, making him hypersensitive to criticism and the possibility of rejection or abandonment - which can provoke a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response.

defensive/paranoid distortion in his analysis of others' feelings - focusing intently on what they think of him (do you love me, hate me, want to hurt me?) while less aware of their own feelings (eg, he can be fairly insensitive to thor's own capacity to be hurt). (in loki, as in many real people, this seems to have originated as a defence mechanism against being manipulated, and from having to walk on eggshells in a toxic family where *everyone* has more social power than him.)

a deep-rooted fear of being manipulated or controlled, which leads to a very strong need to feel in control of himself.

a deep-rooted fear of emotional vulnerability which makes him very reluctant to express his emotions, and when he does, it's often either a calculated tactical decision (so he can tell himself he's still in control), or the result of an emotional breakdown because he just can't keep up the mask any longer.

a paranoid view of the world in which everyone always wants to control him, and controlling power imbalances are an inherent feature of all relationships ("freedom is life's great lie"...), leading him to try to "defensively" manipulate and control others. (this is the ugliest symptom on this list, but it's also arguably the least textbook npd - something this literal and pronounced might be better characterised as ptsd's "distorted understanding of own trauma"/"change of fundamental beliefs" symptoms.)

obviously everyone has a right to their own reading and headcanon, and of course you can reject any reading at all based on simply Not Vibing with it. this isn't the Mandatory NPD Loki post, just me trying to encourage you to consider the possibility. there's a lot here! it's a very plausible reading!

(and honestly, why stop there? you might also note that thor, who grew up in the same toxic household, display a fair number of these symptoms too...)

[this post is meant to be informative and to give people a little insight into an alternative perspective on npd to the dominant pop psych one. i'm happy to answer questions, but if you want to "debate" me or approach this as "discourse", please don't.]

#space viking tag #meta #ch: loki #lens: modern psychiatry #npd #npd headcanon #npd loki #mcu loki #ableism #long post #highlights #lots of tags bc this is an Effortpost but it's still kind of choppy sorry. too many thoughts

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