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#and instead of just crying you can actually take your suffering put in into a google doc and get ego boosted by it actually being kinda goo

howlonomy · 2 days

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in all the 'trauma siblings' stuff with Clover & Kanako, I keep coming back to thinking about how Flowey engages with this

Like, here's someone who went through an at least similar ordeal of getting a human soul mixed into a monster body, leading to a lethal, traumatic injury, into a rebirth into a new body whose physical and emotional state are all way the fuck out of wack

Except Flowey was shaped a lot by having to go through the traumatic aftermath alone, and lives in the weird space of having experienced unknown years of resets but also is still mentally kind of a child

So I have to think that Flowey sees these kids and that little Asriel part of him is screaming "don't let them wind up like us", but being Flowey he also has no idea how to really comfort anyone.

Leading to sweet moments like Clover collapsing somewhere and before anyone else in their family can even pick up on something being wrong, there's already vines springing up to catch them, because of course Flower would know how to spot weakness in people after years of doing that, but now there's a productive positive use for that instinct and it's nice

But also moments like "Gee how do I cheer up Kanako about that appointment with Alphys... I know! We'll torment her! What a wonderful idea!" Because hey, a little bit of sadism always cheered him up when he was suffering

And he'd probably settle toward a crass & hyperbolic style of comforting people with hit-or-miss moments, like a sort of "Wow clover you ate SHIT just now", trying to get them laughing at the misfortune instead of crying, but obviously sometimes It's Not The Time For That or he reverts a bit back to thinking something really fucked up like "Man, that person was really rude just now, we should kill them and everyone they love" and the kids look back at Flowey like "dude what the fuck"

And everybody's different ways of processing trauma are constantly both helping and clashing with each other as these kids help each other figure this shit out because as much as the adults want to help nobody but these 3 can really come close to understanding how it feels

this has been a big ramble for an ask and not really an ask but I wanted you to have this

THIS IS SOOOO GOOD BECAUSE YOURE 100% RIGHT

flowey struggles with knowing the concept of empathy and compassion but not really. KNOWING it. i imagine he can at least remember how it feels being asriel and during the final boss but. its easy to know what it is and harder to put it into practice when you dont actually feel it

i think youre right in that he would try his best to help but not really know HOW. like it takes him a bit to realize that oh, i can see the weaknesses in people, whatdo i do with this information now that i cant use it to exploit them? what can i do to help instead of harm? what is objectively the GOOD thing to do with this information?

hes still an asshole and a bitch but he cares. hes learning to anyways. even if he missteps a lot the people around him are forgiving and willing to help him on the right path and correct him. i love…. flowey :[

#asked and answered #monster clover au #mcau lore #i love character studies and analysis. i love them so much #im not very good at writing them but read this was absolutely a joy #ohhgghh flowey kanako clover frisk friendship is literally everything to me #flowey kanako and clover support circle where they talk about trauma #flowey and kanako talking about isolation and the lab #AUAUGHUHH

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hyomaslut · 10 months

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──★ ˙🍓 ̟ !! what is this? boyfriend material.

☆⌒(ゝ。∂).ᐟ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʙʟʟᴋ ʙᴏʏs ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴘᴛ. 𝟷

✿ ─ characters: isagi yoichi, chigiri hyoma, reo mikage, nagi seishiro ✿ ─ cw: fluff, gn!reader, no pronouns but there are a few 'fem coded' things referenced like make up or skirts, aged-up!characters, established relationships, pet names, kissing, groping, pda, use of foul language, suggestive themes, proofread so many times so if there’s a typo ill cry ✿ ─ notes: this is my first post ♪(´▽｀) i haven't written stuff like this in a pretty long time so bear with me ‹𝟹 this is some hybrid of headcanon and drabble idk

ISAGI YOICHI is a full-fledged bonafide simp...

he suffers from tragic a condition. when he’s not trying? flirting supreme panty dropper. however, when he tries to flirt with someone he likes? bro is fumbling. at first he seems like such an instant charmer. hes a classic gentleman, great listener, and super attractive. but the second he gets an inkling of a crush, he ruins it for himself. stuttering and getting his words mixed up, saying the most embarrassing jumbled combination of what he actually meant to.

follows you around to all your tasks because how else would he spend his free time except hanging with his baby. to sephora, to the grocery store, to the salon, the the ends of the earth if that's where you're heading that day. more than happy to hold onto your hand as you go about your business, rambling about global soccer statistics and looking at you like you hold the world. yoichi is a prideful purse holder too, his arms and pockets and car being full of your belongings makes him insanely happy for some reason he can’t put his finger on. always ready to press the lip gloss you’re patting yourself down for into the palm your hand, taking a kiss as payment.

he’s bad at planning dates, so don’t put him in charge unless you want to be late to a reservation at a restaurant 2 hours away with mediocre food. he’s good at paying for them though!! the dates he does get to plan are usually to the mall. what can i say, man likes to spoil you.

at the mall isagi can kind of trick you. because typically if he were to offer to buy you a couple hundred dollars worth of things, you would absolutely refuse. buttt if its just one thing from this store and one thing from another, and maybe its the fact that you dont feel the weight of all the items as your boyfriend carries it all, but it flies under your radar. and at some point you look at yoichi… and he has a lot of shopping bags. surely some of those were his right? the little pleased love sick smile on his face says otherwise.

its so worth it to isagi tho. he gets to spend time with you, make you happy, be a doting bf. but it also means that he can pick out clothes for you. as generous as he was, he could be a bit of a greedy gifter - never leaving the mall without a new skirt of his choosing. will personally pick out a pile of things he wants you to try on just for him.

once youre with isagi for a few months, he reveals his true colors. man is a serial PDA offender. he just thinks you’re so pretty, and it gives him such an ego boost to be the guy by your side. better hold his hand or its going in your back pocket. leans in under the guise of giving you a quick, generally acceptable peck on the lips… but all of a sudden he wants another before you even fully pull away from the first and its all downhill from there. sits on your side of the table at restaurants instead of across from you so he can rest his hand on your thigh and sneak in small squeezes when he thinks youre not paying attention. and be careful about walking in front of him, he’s not strong enough to resist the urge to smack your ass.

if the PDA thing wasnt a dead give away, isagi is just very affectionate in general, honestly has a hard time leaving you alone when you’re in the same room as him. he just gravitates towards you no matter what he was previously doing. very easily distracted, very easy to bribe. he’s the type of guy where when he goes to get out of bed in the morning to go to practice, and you cling to him and ask him for just 5 more minutes, theres nothing that could stop him from sinking right back into your arms. his attendance record has definitely suffered because he is unable to deny you a single thing you ask for, especially if that thing is him.

CHIGIRI HYOMA is taken and makes sure everyone knows it…

hyoma’s partner very quickly becomes his best friend if they weren’t before they started dating. it’s not even intentional, but he gets very quickly attached to you. sure, he has a decent amount of friends, but none of them know him like you do. he loves to hear you talk about your life, invested in your daily drama and indulging you with all of his. he likes to hear your input and insights on situations. he takes notes in his phone when he sees things he thinks you would like, or conversations he had that he wants to tell you about. forever surprised by how much he misses you when you’re apart, chigiri is used to not needing anyone the way he needs you. is so much grumpier at matches that have him go abroad without you, texting you often throughout the day, whenever he can get his hands on his phone.

because you’re now his best friend and partner, chigiri’s a bit tied to you at the hip, but he would never admit to being clingy. not that you mind, hanging out with him is fun and surprisingly intimate. he never fails to hold your hand wherever you go or throw an arm around your shoulder. on dates he’ll lean in close to your ear to whisper little observations and jokes about the people around, the two of you sharing witty comments and secretive snickers behind your hands. when hanging out with mutual friends, the way yours eyes meet his wordlessly, both holding the same micro expression, indistinguishable to other people, that says “we are so talking about that later”.

speaking of clinging to your side, hyoma can have a bit of a possessive streak at times. i feel like it’s something you don’t really expect of him until there’s a guy flirting with you in a store. the way your boyfriend is at your side before you can even answer, standing at his full height, squaring his shoulders with a sour look on his face, not at all shy about the way his arm snakes around your waist. “they’re not interested.” he states plainly, as if it were obvious, but if you payed close attention to him (which you always did), you would notice the distasteful curl of his lip or the venom seeping into his tone or the way his usually gentle fingers hold onto your side with a firm grip.

he doesn’t meet your eyes after, already sensing the knowing smirk on your lips. his ears turn red when you break the silence to tell him that green was a good color on him. but, your ever clever boyfriend is quick to reply, “that’s cute baby, but i’m not jealous. you haven’t seen me when i’m jealous.” the mischievous glimmer in his eye and the smug smile he wears reminds you to not test him.

king of matching outfits with you. not in the novelty shirts cheesy way, but he always asks for a fit check before he picks you up on dates. chigiri is outside your apartment within the hour, wearing a jacket that matches the color of your shoes and a sly grin. generally starts to shift his style to be a bit more cohesive with yours, he loves going out and looking like you belong together.

not to mention, matching outfits give him more excuses to take pictures with you. photos of you and him are plastered all over his instagram, your handle in his bio and everything. he’s no amateur either, always able to catch your best side, in perfect lighting. really makes you feel as pretty as he seems to think you are. hyoma is a bit of a show off too, so he gets a bit of an ego boost getting to let everyone know how cute you are, and that you’re all his.

hyoma greatly values the alone time he gets to spend with you. the best part of his week is sitting on the couch as you help him with his hair care routine. you running a mix of the comb and your fingers through his hair as the two of you catch up on the k-drama you started together. your touch and your attention and your warm presence enough to make the stress of a pro soccer career melt off his shoulders. makes you teach him how to do your nails and learns your skin care routine so that he can return the favor, although he’s much better at the latter.

MIKAGE REO is ungodly whipped and more than a little dramatic…

if we’re talking about social media boyfriends, reo is near insufferable. let’s be real, reo was already flexing on the gram before you got with him. constantly posting pictures of his car and expensive watches and exclusive clubs. he just becomes worse when you agree to go out with him. his story is full of aesthetically blurry shots of you, sometimes featuring him, anywhere and everywhere. in his car, on dates, cooking in his kitchen. he even found the audacity to post a picture of you in his bed, your bare back in full frame, the sheets pooled around your waist. “i’m so lucky” was the caption and the only context provided. unsurprisingly the lifespan of that post was quite short once you caught wind of it, with the assurance that he wouldn’t be getting so lucky in the near future.

i totally think reo is the type of guy that tries to act like a fuckboy but is secretly a hopeless romantic. in other words, reo is a huge sap™. has a picture of you in his wallet. you’re his screen saver and all his passwords feature your name. nagi is the last person left that will still listen to reo ramble on about you, all of his other friends having gotten tired of it.

we already know that reo is taking you to fancy dinners on the regular, but more unexpectedly i think he is a big fan of outdoorsy dates. previously mentioned hopeless romantic tendencies means reo loves a picnic way more than he lets on. his favorite is when the summer comes around and he gets to take you to the beach. if reo dies and goes to heaven and it's not you rubbing sunscreen into his warm back in a skimpy swimsuit he picked out for you himself, he's not interested. a close second favorite of his is late night drives with you. all the windows of his luxury sports car down, blasting a playlist the two of you made together, singing loud and ugly down the empty freeway. in these moments you make him feel weightless and he swears it’s addicting.

king of clingy. every time that you feel your phone vibrate, there's a good chance that it's your boyfriend. never with anything important either, asking where you are, how was your day, sending you pics of whatever he is doing, even resorting to imessage games when he runs out of things to talk about. he just always finds himself itching to open your contact. if mikage reo could eat up all of your attention, he would not hesitate to do so.

reo is usually the caretaker. when he obtained status of boyfriend, you automatically went on his list of special people in his life, only really consisting of you and nagi, and this granted you the exclusive privilege of walking all over him if you so please. truly a pushover and weak to your pouts. while we’re on the subject of ways to get him to fold, reo is surprisingly easy to flatter. your compliments are honey to his ears, no matter how many people have said the same to him before. his heart thumps loud in his chest whenever you do any act of service or labor of love for him. just wait for the day you buy this man some flowers. got his hand splayed over his red face, his palm not wide enough to cover his infatuated grin. "they're really for me, babe? god i knew i picked you for a reason.”

reo's feelings for you run extremely deep. scary deep. you make him feel stupid and irrational. he can't think straight, he's impulsive. you have to keep a close eye on him because give reo enough time alone and he'll convince himself that getting your name tattooed across his chest is an amazing idea, a grandiose display of his affection and devotion to you - sick as hell too. god forbid you go on a trip by yourself, there's honestly a decent chance you'll come home to a marriage proposal and explanations on how "no no, don't worry babe, i know its sooner than you expected but i've got it all planned out.” just be glad that up until this point he has resisted the strong urge to drop a fourth of his trust fund on a ring, a price he's more than willing to pay to make you all his.

NAGI SEISHIRO is greedy and will readily take a mile if given an inch…

nagi is… new to the whole boyfriend thing to say the least. not to say he’s bad at it or anything, but i imagine that in the beginning of your relationship, things are a bit, for a lack of better words, lukewarm. he struggles a bit with recognizing that the switch from friends to more than friends is more than just the title, letting you completely take the wheel. but his passiveness doesn’t last long. not when he can’t escape the way you are constantly on his mind. he thought it was overwhelming enough having a crush on you, but now that he’s falling for you it’s on another level. he thinks of you when he first opens his eyes, facing the obnoxious blue light of his phone to send you your daily goodmorning :x . he thinks of you at night, when he’s restlessly fighting to fall asleep before he ultimately caves and facetimes you so that he can drift off to your tired mumbles and even breaths. he thinks of you when practice drags on, the anticipation of seeing you after the only thing keeping him from giving into his exhaustion.

nagi can’t get you out of his head for the life of him, but to be fair he doesn’t put up much of a fight. seishiro is used to getting what he wants, so what does he do when his desire for you becomes a hassle? he makes it your problem. constantly calling you and asking you to pick him up from social functions because he misses you. insisting that he stays the night at your place or that you come to his because he needs his daily dose of you. and he doesn’t have the shame to be shy of telling you everything on his mind either. he unintentionally says very flustering things, unabashedly demanding your touch and your company, no matter who is listening. it’s your fault he’s like this after all, you might as well take responsibility and give him what he wants.

and what he wants is affection from you, as much as he can get. serishiro is mesmerized by your reactions. being in love with you is uncharted territory that he maps out with piqued curiosity and newfound greed. especially kissing. once nagi gets his first taste of kissing you for real, messy and needy and drawn out, he never wants to go back. not after seeing your red face, eyes lidded and lips parted so cutely he just has to steal one more. now his day dreams revolve around you, what flavor of chapstick you’re wearing, what perfume do you have on, are you thinking of him as much as he does you? thats one thing he never really finds the courage to ask, but that he secretly hopes is true.

he loves to find things you can work on together, even if you always end up being the one putting in more effort. nagi will insist on cooking dinner together, and maybe you get his help for a good 10 minutes before he’s slumped in a seat at the counter eating the ingredients. buys tons of lego sets for the two of you to put together and while you’re following the instructions, he’s stealing pieces you need so he can build a little car to push around the table while he watches you figure it out. he’ll even settle for a puzzle and a movie, but your out of luck if you expect him to do anything but the edges.

the lazy genius only really has the time and energy to have a couple of important people in his life, but once you make it into that inner circle, that shit is permanent as far as he’s concerned. it begins with him telling you that it only makes sense to leave some clothes at his apartment, you’re at his place half the week anyway. and then its him smuggling over your favorite pillows and stuffed animals to his bed instead of yours. then he’s asking you to go grocery shopping with him every week. the jokes he makes about the fact that, “you keep all your stuff here anyway. just move in with me already,” are far too frequent to be subtle. but when he hits you with the puppy eyes, which are annoyingly effective, how could you say no?

you’ve put yourself in his orbit after all and now the solar system that is nagi seishiro will use his gravity to pull you inevitably closer. it’s doomed.

is my bias obvious?? cuz i feel like it might be… lmk which one was your favorite!!

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angelltheninth · 1 year

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Hello! I just love your arcane x reader works! Can you do arcane characters x gender neutral! reader who either died or got kidnapped during a mission?

Oh not making Reader dead nope, these characters have suffered enough they don't need a dead lover.

Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Sevika, Viktor, Jayce, Mel x Reader

Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, injury, cuddles, nightmares, crying, rescue mission, reunion kisses

A/N: Well um... Jayce might... you know what no, Mel is gonna be fine!

First, know that you won't stay kidnapped for long. If it for some reason is days then be ready to be face to face with a very tired and very pissed off Jinx when she finally manages to track you down.

Who ever kidnapped you most likely won't survive to tell the tail and even if by some miracle they do they sure as hell won't ever look at the color blue the same way ever again. She might be tired as all fuck, on the verge of collapsing even but she won't rest until you're safe and sound in her arms back in her house.

"You're safe and sound now sugar. That must've been scary for ya. Don't worry, they won't hurt you again. Or anyone else for that matter. Oh, no don't look at them like that, ya shouldn't be sorry for them, they don't deserve your compassion."

By the time Vi finds you she's bruised up maybe even more then your kidnappers. She's fought her way through all of them, yelling and cursing every single one of them. She gathers you in her arms and carries you back home.

As much as she wants to be the one taking care of you she's also pretty beat so you take the role of caretaker instead. Her hands are red and covered in cruises from vicious punching, twitching when you kiss them gently. Shit, you got her feeling all mushy, she could cry, no she is crying, she feels very lucky to have you.

"I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you sweet stuff, you're the one who got kidnapped. I know! How is it that I'm more banged up then you? You should have seen those sorry bastards, one actually cried for his mom. Did... did they make you cry? If they did I'm going back and kicking their asses all over again."

Caitlyn, as much as she wants to, doesn't rush in. She has a plan, one that assures that not one of those who wronged you escapes her sights and a fair trail. In which they will be put behind bars for kidnapping and extortion.

She takes care of most of them by herself, a little more rough around the edges then usual but still not missing a shot. She can't afford to. Can't help but cry when she cups your bruised face in her hands. She was scared, so damn scared that this was it. Right now only your kiss will make her feel relieved again.

"Darling, its me, its just me. Please, I know it hurts but... oh gods... please just let me hold you a little. I don't care that they're looking, I need this right now. Don't worry I've got a warm bath and even warmer hugs ready for you once we get back home."

Ekko arrives to rescue you with an entire team of Firelights at his back. He doesn't even bother hiding his face with the mask, he wants them to remember him, the look in his eyes and how it could have been the last thing they ever saw.

There's no way he can tear himself away from you once he's got you safe and sound in his arms. He doesn't leave your side while your injures are being treated or while you sleep. In fact he doesn't even sleep until you wake up and smile at him again the next morning, that's the point where he feels like he's done a good job.

"Firefly how do you feel? You took a bit of a hit to the head but the doctor said you should be okay now. Sorry, I got careless and let my guard down. I saw them coming but I... I wasn't fast enough. Its not okay! I could have gotten you killed. I would lay my life down for the cause, and that does double for laying down my life for you."

There isn't anything or anyone that can move around Zaun without Vander's knowledge. He thought he left his violent days behind him a long time ago, and for the most part he has but there's still that protective spark in him that can activate his violent side easily.

His fists may be covered in blood but his smile and eyes are as soft as ever when he looks at you. Soft kisses are pampered all over your forehead, the tiniest broken hiccup tearing from his mouth as he nuzzles you close to him and carries you back to the Last Drop to look you over.

"I should've taken care of that gang long ago. Then you wouldn't be in this situation darlin'. How do I feel? Not a scratch on me as you can see. You on the other hand... don't worry you still look pretty to me, bruises or not. I can kiss them better if you just stopped your squirming around."

Zaun is Silco's domain. If anyone is stupid enough to try and kidnap you in his own territory they won't stay hidden for long. And once he finds them, well, he's got plenty of uses for scum like that. Painful use.

As for you, you get nothing but his undivided attention until the last bruise on your body fades away. Sure he does need to be in his office and all that but you can be with him, you can get kisses whenever you want even get to cuddle with him on the couch.

"Are you comfortable over there darling? If you want I can get something better brought here. Shimmer? Well it would be faster but I'm not getting you hooked on this, you're much to precious to me to be some experiment. Your kidnappers on the other hand will serve their purpose."

They will have to eat through a straw for the rest of their lives if they even survive Sevika getting her hands on them. They should be so lucky to only get away with broken bones and nothing else with the way she was making her way through them.

Sevika is very careful when she's handling you, she'd never been so gentle with anyone. It's new, endearing even. You're pretty sure you hear her cursing beside you when she's got her arms wrapped around yours as you fall asleep, followed by a very long kiss on your head and a heavy, relived sigh.

"Sleep sweet thing, no one's gonna hurt you hear me? They can try but I'll kill them all, lucky if that's all I do. The only reason those idiots are still breathing is cause I didn't wanna get their blood all over your pretty face. If I see them again there's gonna be a lot to clean up."

Viktor doesn't think he can let you out of his sight ever again after you're back at his side. He only wishes he could have done more then waited for you to be retuned to him. At least you're safe that's all that should matter.

He should be the one looking after you but he's the one who ends up with nightmares that night. He's already lost sleep, he should be resting but when he thinks about you not being here anymore, it crushes him from the inside. All he wants, all he needs right now is to cuddle up next to you and listen to your heartbeat.

"Sorry I woke you up darling. I'm alright, don't worry. I'm not crying, just had a bit of a bad dream. Go back to sleep please, you need it. I'll be fine, as long as I've got you here by my side there's nothing I cannot handle."

Jayce holds you close to his chest while he carries you to the doctor. He's constantly kissing the back of your hand, his hammer leaning against the bedframe just in case any of the kidnappers got away and wanted to try their luck again.

There aren't many things that can make him scared like the thought of losing you. He tries to be logical most of the time, he feels like that's what he should be, but you make him act on his emotions, you make him want to scream and cry and tell you over and over how much he loves you and how he'll never let anything bad happen to you again.

"Hey, you're awake! Whoa babe, easy, don't try getting up right now, you need to rest, you've been through a lot today. Just say the word and I'll get you whatever you need. You always take care of me so let me be a good boyfriend and spoil you for a change and help you get better okay?"

Mel was almost ready to throw diplomacy out the damn window and turn both Piltover and Zaun on their heads to find you. But that would be going against everything the two of you are trying achieve. That said she doesn't show mercy to your kidnappers either, making sure they get put away for a long time, never seeing the light of day again.

After every meeting with the Council she rushes home to you, her mind stuck on you all day, unable to concentrate properly. This will be an issue for her until you recover but you being safe and getting healed up are... more important to her then impressing the Council.

"I made it home early for you darling, and I brought some more medicine. Would you like it now or after you eat? I see, very well then, just my company for now is it. I must say you've become a bit more spoiled recently. I don't mind one bit, as long as you're alright I'm happy to provide you anything you want."

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rroseselavyyy · 17 days

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tattoo - myg

pairing: yoongi x female reader

warnings: smut, prone bone://///

Under wet lashes adorned with tears as clear as the crystal sky, your eyes always found a way to betray you when they lingered on his figure with deep longing. Min Yoongi always made you feel elephants jump in your stomach, hurting the butterflies that used to tickle you all over with the feeling of how much you were head over heels for him.

He was infatuated with the wings of those butterflies. So infatuated that he waited for them to be repaired just to broke them again and again.

It was cruel of him to make your knees weak by smiling so beautifully.

How could you drift your eyes away when he was the object of your affection? Even if it meant breaking your heart into million pieces at the sight of him, busy with giving all his attention for someone he met only a few minutes ago.

Counting minutes had never made you feel pathetic before. However, here you were, waiting for him to finally realize how much you were broken.

It was not rocket science to understand that Yoongi wanted you to suffer. Indeed, he wanted to choke you on your own desperation.

After all, it was the price of choosing his best friend over him, you should've known better. It was a sure thing that there was no better way to give you a taste of your own medicine.

However, what once started as a game between you two became something that killed you inside. You needed to put an end to this situation before you lost your sanity.

You gulped down your drink when you felt like you couldn't take the sight in front of you. The alcohol running through your veins made you feel tipsy enough to care about the consequences, which helped you to gather your courage before making your way to him.

"I need you-" You snaked your hand around his wrist, which made him turn his head from his conversation immediately as if your touch burnt his skin. "Can I borrow you for a second?"

He looked into your eyes as if he was searching for any signals whether you were actually speaking to him. Contrary to the worst scenarios you made up in your head, he didn't make any attempt to protest. Instead, he followed you with your hand around his wrist like someone put a spell on him.

You dragged him to the bedroom at the end of the hall, before locking the door behind you. Yoongi was standing with his hands crossed on his wide chest as if he was waiting for your explanation when you finally found courage to look into his eyes.

"What do you need?" Loud noises coming down from downstairs was enough to fill the silence that you shared, however, he whispered as if he wanted to tell you a secret in a crowded room.

You bit back a whimper as he was looking into your eyes intently. "I can't stand seeing you with somebody else." Yoongi tilted his head with a faint smirk on his face. He made you step back by making his way to you till you were trapped between the door and his firm body.

You didn't realized you were crying until his thumb trailed a way on your cheek stained with your mascara ruined by your tears. His eyes never left yours as he was sucking his thumb as if your tears were as delicious as the declaration of your neverending love for him.

He was mean to you but at the same time wasn't.

"You just have to be a fucking crybaby in order to get what you want, do you?" Your heart was ready to rib out of its cage when he nudged your legs with his knee. His minty breath was lingering on your lips when his gaze on your face darkened with an expression your dizzy brain couldn't seem to fathom.

"How did it feel being faithful to your boyfriend while thinking of me between your legs?" He whispered above your ear before a harsh smack on your thigh made your breath hitch in your throat.

"You can't blame me for giving a chance to Hoseok. After all, you made it seem so easy to forget about me." It was getting harder for you not to cry your lungs out with every word he spoke to you. Even though you wanted to shut him up by kissing his soft lips, all you could do was looking at him with eyes filled with hurt. "You don't even know how it broke my heart to see you holding hands with one lover after another, claiming that every one of them was the love of your life. I thought I could forget you just like how you did."

It was true that life had been easier when you were twisted in your bed sheets. His embrace was the only thing that kept nightmares away at the nights you couldn't sleep. Ironically, now he was the one trying to make your life a living nightmare.

You were perfectly fine with hooking up until you realized that you developed feelings for Yoongi, which made you become distant to him. It was also true that your stubbornnes got the two of you into so much trouble. Possibility of being rejected by him scared you more than losing him. Eventually, you two separated your ways without giving a second thought.

You didn't realize you needed Yoongi in your life until you lost him.

"You know that I only loved you. It was just hard to confess my feelings for you when we agreed on this not to fall in love shit, y'know? We were just too scared to confront about our feelings."

His slender fingers brushed your hair out of your face as his gaze on you softened with a spark of adoration. At that moment, he didn't really need to tell how much he cared about you, for you could already read his eyes like it was an open book.

"You shouldn't have run to my best friend in the first place. Now everybody will say that I stabbed my best friend in the back."

"We already broke up, for your information." He giggled when you scrunched your nose with frustration. His eyes trailed on your face as if he was studying your face and you felt blood rushed to your cheeks when he gave you a peck on the nose. "That doesn't make us a saint either, silly."

He grabbed your waist with his veiny hands, nuzzling your cheek affectionately. You finally took initiative by locking your fingers behind his neck. Keeping him close to you after a long time made you want to hold him tighter.

You mentally thanked to the liquor for melting your cool exterior which made you hide your emotions from him all this time.

"Baby, all I could think about is you. I thought I might go crazy without you." His fingers were brushing your thighs softly, you were unable to stop mewling under his touch. His breath lingered on your neck hotly when his kisses exchanged with subtle licks on your skin. "Please let me make love to you. I missed you so much."

"On one condition," You placed your hand on his chest playfully. "I don't want you to see other girls." He grinned in a sinister way, which was to your dismay. His amused expression was showing how much he enjoyed the fact that he made you jealous.

He made your legs wrapped around his waist without any warning, which made you let out a squeak as if you weren't expecting him to carry you like you were light as a feather. You instinctly clinged to him like your life was depended on it while he was carrying you to bed. "Then you have to stay away from my friends, princess."

"You have to convince me that you are not going to ignore me, as well." He fell onto bed with his body on yours. You were a mess giggling as he was nibbling on his bottom lip with hooded eyes. His beautiful features illuminated by the moonlight made your heart ache even in the heat of the moment. He whispered as if he was in pain. "Because I can't let you go after getting so close to you."

He pressed his rough hand onto your belly to prevent your hips trying to meet his crotch while his other hand was sliding your panties out of your legs. Desperate for a friction between your legs, you let out a groan as he was undoing his belt.

"Baby, I didn't know you were that desperate for my cock." You wondered how powerful he was when he positioned you on your stomach as if you were nothing but a ragdoll. "Didn't your boyfriend fuck you good enough?" You were lying naked when he was getting rid of his clothes. Cheek pressed on the mattress, you were waiting for him in anticipation when he placed a pillow under your stomach in order to lift your hips slightly. "My pretty baby, I'm going to make you feel so good."

You shuddered as he was teasing your wet folds with the tip of his cock. It was getting harder for you to breathe when you felt his skin was flush against yours. The only thing kept him from collapsing on top you was his strong arms caging your body.

"Fuck-" He whimpered with the feeling of your heavenly walls sucking him in. His chest was pressed against your back as his breathing was accelerating with every thrust. "I wanted to hate you for every single day you deprived me of this pussy."

"It was your fault, Yoongi-" You let out a sob when he placed wet kisses on your neck. Encaging your legs with his, he was crashing his hips against your ass with rhythmic thrusts. "I wasn't the one chasing after girls."

He gripped your sides as he was chasing his high as if he couldn't get enough of you. Your moans and whimpers spilling out of your mouth were like a carol to his ears which made him want to get down on his knees to worship you till the end of the time.

"You don't have to worry about that, angel. I have zero intentions on letting you go this time." His words sent shivers down your spine even though your body was melting under the heat of radiated from his body. "You just need to know that no matter what happens to us I can't stop loving you. It seems like you're stuck on me like a tattoo."

You couldn't hold yourself back from cumming when he finally declared his devotion to you. It was sweeter than any dessert, one taste of it was enough to make you feel like the only girl in the world. Your sweet moans and clenching around him made him cum right after you.

As he was enjoying the feeling of his cock nestling inside of you, he nuzzled his nose against your neck. Inhaling your sweet body wash lingering on your skin, he sighed with delight. He was certain that nothing could ever compare to having you under him, fucking his cum into you like he had all the time in the world.

He tucked your spent body under the sheets, before he took his place right behind you. He was leaning his cheek on his hand when he took a moment to admire your beauty. Even though you were cuddling on a bed which was not yours, you felt strangely safe in his arms. You brought your hand to play with his hair slightly damp from his sweat. "I want you to be mine, Yoongi. Only your love had never been enough. I'm done with playing games." Your heart was thrumming in its cage, making the loud music coming down from downstairs sound like nothing but buzzing to your ears. He was looking at you with a beautiful smile on his face when he held your hand and interlocked your fingers with his. "I'm yours kitten, as long as you have me."

#yoongi x reader #bts x reader #bts smut #min yoongi smut #yoongi smut #yoongi fanfiction #min yoongi #bts fanfic #yoongi

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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 25 days

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Face Your Fears

Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: You get into a fight with your brothers, but your recklessness that follows creates problems for everyone.

“You were hunting before you were my age! I don’t get why—“

“It doesn’t matter if you get it or not! I said no!”

Sam rushed to the library when he heard his siblings’ voices raised in argument.

“What’s going on in here?” He asked, trying to keep a calm and neutral tone.

“She—“ Dean started, but you cut him off.

“Dean is being completely unfair!”

“Ok, ok, calm down,” Sam sighed.

“Calm down?! You two are off all the time, actually helping people, putting your lives on the line, and I’m—“

“Exactly! You don’t need to be putting yourself in danger like that!” Dean interrupted.

“It’s what you do! And I sit here and read books!”

“Don’t downplay what you do,” Sam said. “We need you here.”

“But I could do so much more out there with you!” You argued. “I’ve been training, I know I can help!”

“Yeah, or you’d screw it up and get killed, and I don’t need your blood on my hands!” Dean exploded.

The silence that followed was deafening.

“Dean—“ Sam tried to speak up, but you interrupted him.

“So that’s it, really? You think I’m some kind of screw up?” You scoffed, and continued before Dean could speak. “It’s not like you’re perfect! You’ve screwed up the world before, and no one’s stopped you from going out to screw it up again!”

“Y/N—“ again Sam’s attempt to calm the situation was met with resistance.

“Well fine then, if I’m too much of a screw up for you, then I’ll get out of your way!” You shoved past your brothers and beelined for your room, slamming the door behind you.

…

Your brothers didn’t try to go after you. They were probably angry. You knew you went too far with what you said to Dean, but he called you a screw up; were you just supposed to take that and not say anything back?

It didn’t matter either way. You didn’t want them to try to talk to you, because you had something to do.

You had a hunt to go on.

You’d been researching one before you went to ask Dean about joining the next one; since he’d said no, you would take this one whether he liked it or not. And you were going alone.

…

It wasn’t hard to sneak out—back when you lived in motels, it would have been almost impossible to leave without one of your brothers waking up, but with the bunker it was easy.

You didn’t take the Impala—that would be too far, even for this rebellious streak. Instead, you took a cab to the next town over; you had struck gold, finding a hunt so close. It was pretty simple, too; three victims with hearts ripped out, definitely a werewolf. You had more silver bullets than you’d need packed up with a couple of guns in a duffel at your feet.

Dean was wrong about you, you could do this. After all, how hard could one little werewolf be?

…

Dean was right, and you were suffering the consequences of being wrong.

You struggled to pull your phone from your pocket, your fingers fumbling as your phone slipped around in your blood-soaked hands. Your breathing was labored, and every breath brought stabs of pain to your slashed-up abdomen.

You hadn’t noticed the signs of the second werewolf, so determined were you on taking the first one down. You hadn’t even seen him until he’d been right on you, ripping into your stomach. You’d had your gun in your hand, and by some miracle you’d managed to fire off a round into the werewolf on top of you, but not before he’d injured you pretty bad.

You finally got the phone in your hand, and you didn’t hesitate to press Dean’s number. You held the phone just slightly away from your face, wary of irritation the cuts on your cheek.

The phone barely had time to ring before Dean’s voice flooded your senses.

“Where are you?” His voice came out in a growl.

“D-De…” you hadn’t realized you were crying until you had to push your voice out past your tears.

“Sweetheart?” Dean’s anger was gone in a second when he heard your pained voice. “What’s going on?”

“I’m-I’m sorry, De,” you sobbed. “You were right, I’m-I’m sorry.”

“Shh shh, hey,” Dean soothed. “It’s alright sweetheart, I forgive you. Just tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.”

“I-I turned on my phone’s location,” you said. “Ple-please hurry. It hurts…”

Dean tried to ask you more, but a bang from somewhere nearby had you flinching, and the phone slipped out of your soaked hands and shattered on the concrete floor. You realized it was only your own gun, slipping off the table you’d laid it on. But it was too late; your phone was broken, and you had no way to call Dean back.

You could only hope that the tracker would still work.

…

Dean broke both the law and probably some speed records getting to your location. Sam was in the passenger seat, a first aid kit in his lap as he held on for dear life.

“I should’ve known she’d do something stupid,” Dean grunted.

“Dean, you couldn’t have known,” Sam reasoned. “And blaming yourself isn’t going to help her.”

Dean didn’t speak, and the rest of the ride was tensely silent.

“Here,” Sam said as navigator. “Turn left here, and she should be close by.”

Dean swerved the Impala to the left and screeched to a halt in an empty parking lot near a warehouse. Sam was right at his heels as he burst into the warehouse.

“De?” Your pained voice echoed throughout the building, so that it took Dean a moment to find you. When he did, he swore his heart skipped three beats. You were sitting in a pool of your own blood, propped up against the wall. Dean rushed to you, kneeling next to you and almost slipping in your blood.

“Hey, hey,” his voice was a mixture of soothing and panic as he brushed your blood-stained hair away from your face. “Alright sweetheart, tell Doctor Dean where it hurts.”

It was a pathetic joke, but you laughed anyway; Dean’s jokes always made you laugh.

But your laugh sent you to a fit of coughing. Dean winced as he examined the long gashes on your stomach.

“Ok, you’re ok,” Dean leaned back in relief when he saw that it wasn’t too deep; you’d be ok. “But I’m gonna have to carry you to the car, ok? Brace yourself.”

You gritted your teeth and clenched your fists, but you still couldn’t hold back the cry of pain when Dean lifted you into his arms.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Dean cringed. “I’m sorry. You’re gonna be ok.”

Dean laid you on your back in the backseat of the Impala, before taking the first aid kit from Sam and retrieving a needle and thread.

“Can’t we just bandage it up?” You whimpered, already squirming away from the needle. Dean’s finger froze for a second before he shook his head, his features softening. Both brothers were very aware of your fear of needles, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped.

“Sorry sweetheart, it’s gotta be stitched. Just close your eyes, it’ll feel worse if you watch.”

You closed your eyes, trusting your brother completely. However, before he could make the first stitch, your eyes popped open and you grabbed into his wrist.

“Wait,” you said. “I-I…I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Dean sighed. “I’m sorry too. I said some things that…that I didn’t mean. You aren’t a screw up, ok?”

“What do you call this?” You gestured to your own banged up body.

“Inexperience,” Dean answered. “And you never should’ve been out here alone. Going solo on your first hunt is never a good idea.”

“I’m sorry about that, too,” you mumbled.

“It’s ok, kiddo. Maybe later we…we can talk about you tagging along on one of our hunts.”

“Really?” You grinned.

“Later,” Dean said sternly. “After you’re all better. Now let me get to this.”

As Dean lifted the needle, you closed your eyes again. You felt Sam’s large hand grab onto yours, and you squeezed his hand gratefully, holding on as Dean started to stitch you up.

“I didn’t really think you would screw up the hunts,” Dean said as he worked. “I just…I don’t want you out there. It’s dangerous, and I…I’m scared something will happen to you. But I guess I can’t keep you from it if it’s what you really want.”

“It is,” you said. “I want to do what you guys do. I want to help people, and I wanna be with you guys.”

“Ok then,” Dean said, tying off the stitches and patting your side to let you know he was done. You opened your eyes, and he smiled at you.

“I guess I’ll just have to face my fears.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl

#dean winchester #the winchesters #dean and sam #dean winchester x reader #supernatural dean #dean winchester x you #winchesters x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #winchesters x sister #dean winchester x little sister!reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x sister #sam winchester x sister!reader #spn sam winchester #sam winchester x little sister!reader

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myteavsricochet · 4 months

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Favorite firstprince fanfics, another incomplete list:

(Part 1)

Come Let Me Love You

Henry always struggled to have a good night's sleep. Alex made it easier over the years they had been together, but little cries in the middle of the night always woke Henry.

A little glimpse into a future where Alex and Henry are doting fathers to a beautiful little girl.

Obliviously Devoted

She looks at him in the way only June can. She's the only one he'll allow it from without a fight. "I don't know if you're ready to have this conversation or not."

His fork clatters to the plate in front of him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

June sighs a sigh of long-suffering and pinches the bridge of her nose, before she looks him dead in the eye and sets his world upside down. "You know you and Henry are dating, right?"

Alex gapes at her. Mouth hung open, eyes blown wide. "W-what?"

"I say this with all the love in the world," she says. "But sometimes, I swear, you are the most oblivious idiot on the face of the planet."

Tags: idiots in love, oblivious acd, best friends to lovers, alternate universe - roommates/housemates

(even though you want to) please try to never grow up

“You better have a good fucking reason for sending me to voicemail, Hen.” He glares at the phone for one second before he actually sees the screen, and then his face melts into something Henry can only describe as fond. “Oh,” he whispers, dropping his mug of coffee onto the counter so he can lean in closer to the phone. “Look who’s there.”

“Yeah.” Henry keeps his voice so low he isn’t even sure Alex can hear him. He doesn’t seem to mind, eyes taking in the picture in front of him with parted lips, the edge of his finger covering the camera when he undoubtedly reaches to caress his daughter’s head.

Or, Alex misses his daughter when he goes back to work after a long paternity leave.

tags: domestic, tooth-rotting fluff, family fic

Let Me Wash Away Your Worries

Alex has had a terrible week. Henry is right there to take care of him.

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Bath Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Romantic Fluff, Praise Kink, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, Worship

ephemeral enchantments

in which Henry is an overworked barista with a tendency to embarrass himself in front of everything that breaths and Alex is charmed from the first time he met him.

Tags: Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Awkward Flirting

Three fights Alex and Henry never had

Yes, Alex and Henry got their Happily Ever After. But that doesn't mean everything was just automatically perfect when they moved in together...

Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff

am i homophobic? (URGENT) (PLEASE HELP)

Now, it might be pretty early in the morning and Alex’s brain functions might not be working as quickly as they normally do, but he can still put two and two together. There's a strange man in their kitchen. Henry is shirtless, rumpled, and holding two pairs of boxers. Henry and this Sam guy slept together. Which… obviously is fine because Alex is not an asshole, but he’s definitely feeling something about this development that he will examine at a later date. But of course, instead of saying something normal, you know, like a normal person would, he says, “Ohh.” Like a fucking weirdo.

or: the "am i homophobic?" roommate au that no one asked for

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Sexuality Crisis, Mentions of homophobia, no one is like actually homophobic though, Idiots in Love, Explicit Sexual Content, Unsafe Sex

The shape of your lips bruising my heart

So, that neck-kissing scene in the bloopers? Yeah, that one. Well. I wrote it.

—

In which Alex has a hard time leaving the hotel after their night in Paris.

you’re leaving (now i’m left amongst the living)

Six years since they've been together, Alex and Henry were now a far cry from the lovestruck couple they once were when their history began. If you ask Alex, all of it was Henry’s fault. If you ask Henry, he’d agree and say that Alex was right.

But before Alex could ever find out why Henry does not seem like the man he once decided to spend the rest of his life with, he already walked away from it all. Now, Henry was alone, left to deal with whatever shattered remains he could salvage from his life.

Or, the one where Henry’s sick and Alex only finds out two years after they've broken up.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Lawyer Alex, Writer Henry, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hospitalization

Fifty First Dates

Henry has used a dating app exactly one time. Predictably, the date turns out to be terrible. The bartender, however, is not.

A cute stranger’s solution to Henry’s woeful dating life is to set him up on fifty first dates.

Most People Exist

Henry Fox is a nurse at the New York Cancer Center. He’s happy with his job, content enough with his life, but it all gets turned on its head when he connects with a patient with a brain tumor—Alex Claremont-Diaz.

———

Henry is a nurse, Alex is a patient.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Cancer, Nurses & Nursing, Minor Character Death, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, They will end up happy I pinky swear

i want your dreary mondays

“You little menace,” a voice says from the door, entirely too fond to be anything mean. “I told you to wait by the car, not go inside.” The man steps inside, shaking the rain from his hair, and Henry is treated to the sight of the most beautiful man he’s seen in his entire life, standing in the middle of his shop with clothes dripping to the floor and raincoat bundled up around him. He notices then the umbrella clutched in the little boy’s hand, the innocent wide eyes watching his father, and the picture forms in his head.

Or, five times Henry makes a piece of art for Alex's son on his drinks, and one time he does it for Alex himself.

It's Nice to Have a Friend

Two boys meet on a beach, build a sand castle, write letters, and fall in love.

Tags: Alternative Universe - Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, Slow Burn, Growing up together

Leave A Message

"This is Alex Claremont-Diaz's phone. If it's a business matter, I don't know how you got ahold of this number, but if you have my number that means you probably have Zahra's. Call her instead. If you're friends or family, just text me. If you're anyone else, I'll call you back as soon as I can."

Or: Alex's voicemail message over the years, and the messages people leave for him.

I must tell you what you will not ask

Henry's lower lip wobbles, and a fresh tear rolls down his cheek. Alex watches it track down to his chin, and wonders if Henry would mind him wiping it away. “I really was looking forward to seeing them.”

Another tear escapes, and this time Alex can't help but lean forward and brush it away with his thumb. Henry's breath catches, and he looks at Alex, wearing an expression he can't quite parse. “Come home with me,” Alex blurts out.

Henry's plans for Christmas fall through, so Alex invites him home for the holidays. They're best friends, strictly platonic roommates, so why does everyone think they're dating?

drive-thru mornings

“Would you like to pay cash or by card, sir?”

Alex startles, but recovers quickly and smiles charmingly at the girl in the window. Maggie, her tag reads. “By card, darlin’,” he says. “Actually, could I pay for the man behind me, as well? I have no idea what he ordered, but he’s strikingly handsome, isn’t he?”

Tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in love

you turned a moment (into forever)

Sharing an apartment with Alex had seemed like a good idea at first. They’re best friends, prices in Brooklyn are absurd, and they had both been in urgent need of residence – it only made sense.

Except for the small, tiny, teeny, barely there fact that Henry has been in love with Alex from the first moment he laid eyes on him. And the fact that Alex doesn’t know, and can never find out.

—

Or, as coffeecatsme so eloquently put it: Roommates AU where Alex has insomnia and slips into Henry’s bed every night because it’s the only way he gets a good night’s sleep.

You Can Hear It In The Silence

At the Lake House, Henry doesn’t run when Alex tells him he loves him. But he can’t say it back; too afraid of the consequences it would have, no matter how true it is. But as the truth settles in, Henry decides Alex is worth fighting for. So he does.

A Long Way From the Playground

Henry and Alex were best friends growing up until they went to separate colleges and they grew apart. When they see each other again as adults, against the odds, both living in the same city again, will it be a joyful reunion or will the pain of the years apart get in the way? How do you become friends again when there is so much of the past in the way?

Oblivion

The man starts to cock the hammer of gun, and Alex squeezes his eyes shut, his lower lip trembling almost imperceptibly.

“Stop!” Henry shouts, his voice cracking. “I’ll give you whatever you want, I’ll do anything…just please, don’t hurt him.”

Alex’s eyes fly open, shooting Henry the same incredulous look that he gave him in the hallway, and Henry knows he’s shown too much of his hand, revealed a part of himself that he’d sworn he would take to his grave, but he’s too full of fear and desperation to feel self-conscious about it now. He can deal with the consequences when they get out of this.

If they get out of this.

******

What if the moment in the hospital wasn’t a false alarm and the publicity surrounding the forced bromance between Alex and Henry had the adverse effect of them being kidnapped together?

Confidential Memorandum

"Hello, Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's office. How may I help you?"

"Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fox-Mount-krishen, please?"

Alex blinked. After two weeks of hearing nothing but the voices of snooty men and frazzled secretaries calling in, the person on the other line now sounded decidedly neither snooty nor male nor in any way adult.

It was a little girl.

"Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's unfortunately in a meeting right now,” Alex began slowly, “but I could take a message?"

"Oh." The girl paused. "You're not Mr. Hunter."

Alex starts a new job as Henry's new assistant. Henry's daughter keeps calling the office and leaving him messages.

we thought we ruled the world

Alex stares down at his latest text from Henry. A link to an article he’s seen about ten versions of so far. He’s managed to resist clicking on any of them, but now Henry is sending it, so he supposes he should at least give it a skim.

How Prince Henry’s Relationship With FSOTUS Lost Ellen Claremont The Election

............

Or, what would have happened if Ellen lost.

Run, Don't Walk

Henry loves sex. He loved sex even before he was with Alex, although there's something to be said for the level of precision and intimacy acquired through years of learning each other's bodies. He's liked being filled from the first time he ever experienced the feeling, and he doesn't think he'll ever love anything quite as much as he loves getting fucked.

But this? This is giving him pause for thought.

Tags: Porn without plot, Marathon sex, Henry loves sex, and Alex, and sex with Alex

london bridge has fallen down

Alex can feel the eyes of the room on him as Shaan approaches his side. Then, Shaan quietly murmurs in his ear. They’re words he’s thought about before, distantly wondering about what might happen when they were finally uttered. How their lives might change. There’s nothing that can prepare him for the reality of it though, nothing that can prepare him for how his breath hitches when Shaan speaks.

‘London Bridge is down, Sir.’

---

Queen Mary is dead. Henry doesn't know how to feel.

Screw Your Courage to the Sticking Place (and forget macbeth is a fucking tragedy)

"You don't owe me anything."

"Of course I do. If you have time now...there are things I'd like to say."

Alex hesitates.

"I know I don't have any right to ask you to listen," Henry adds. He sounds so hopeful though.

A little closure doesn't sound like a terrible thing. Agreeing to go with Henry, alone, to Kensington Palace sounds like returning to the scene of a crime.

It's been over a decade since their breakup - Alex is now a single dad forging his career as a lawyer, and Henry's finally getting the courage to stand up to his grandmother. In finding themselves, can they also find their way back to each other?

#here we go #there will probably be a part 3 #firstprince fanfic #rwrb #rwrb fanfic #firstprince #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #henry fox

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saaraofthesand · 1 year

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Oda Didn’t Understand Dazai: An Opinion By Me

@catboychuuuya wanted me to elaborate on that bit in my Soukoku post about Odasaku not really understanding Dazai. I aim to please, so here I am.

Let’s begin

Part A: Buraiha Trio

Oda wasn’t necessarily a bad friend. He just didn’t really know what to do with Dazai. I actually think Ango was both a better friend toward, and had a better understanding of, Dazai (Oda pushed Dazai toward the light, but Ango was the reason he got to stay there).

Oda decided that Dazai should live in the light, but I think Ango always thought he belonged there. Like he knew that Dazai had the potential to be good.

In the prologue of the Dark Era light novel, Ango is the one truly bothered by Dazai’s apathy and suicidal tendencies. Oda has very mild reactions to all of it. Dazai is basically crying out for help, and Oda’s reactions are very indulgent (kind of “that’s nice, sweetie”).

"'Oh yeah, I created a new hot-pot recipe. Would you guys be up to trying it next time we hang out? I call it the 'superhuman stamina pot.' You can run for hours without getting tired after eating it. It’s a dream of a—'

'Not in a million years,' Ango sternly declined.

'If it keeps you from getting tired, then it might be pretty useful before a hard day's work,' I added.

'…Odasaku, that's exactly the problem right there. You're enabling Dazai. You don't speak up, and that's why he goes off the rails.'

I see. So this was what Ango meant by 'enabling' him. You learn something new every day."

Now, again, Oda was not a bad person or friend. It’s normal to joke around with your friends. But also, I think it’s pretty clear (Particularly in Storm Bringer and the Dark Era) that Dazai was genuinely struggling in the mafia. He was extremely unhappy.

Another problem with Oda is that he put Dazai on a pedestal like almost everyone else in the mafia (exceptions are Chuuya and Ango for sure).

"No matter what he did, Dazai seemed to reach heights that normal people couldn’t."

The difference between Odasaku and the rest of the mafia is that Dazai greatly admired Odasaku. He admired his belief system and resolve. That’s why I think it’s so sad that Oda didn’t really understand Dazai, because Dazai took Oda’s word as gospel.

There’s one last quote from the prologue that I want to talk about:

"We had a saying in the Port Mafia: 'The greatest misfortune for Dazai’s enemies is that they are Dazai’s enemies.' If he wanted to, he could even have a picnic in the middle of a firefight. Dazai was practically born to be in the Mafia."

This is the first case where I think it’s clear that Oda has a fundamental misunderstanding of Dazai.

Dazai was not born to be in the mafia. He was groomed to be in mafia by Mori. Mori picked him because he was an extremely intelligent, yet directionless child. I think we all spend so much time thinking of Dazai as a puppet master that we forget that he is also capable of being manipulated himself.

Dazai is eighteen during the Dark Era. Eighteen. He’s a teenager. He’s not a mastermind. He’s a lost kid in desperate need of guidance. He spent four incredibly formative years of his life suffering under Mori’s thumb (One before officially joining the mafia, three after). Odasaku was Dazai’s hope, someone he could look to instead of Mori. He wanted to be like him so badly.

Part B: Something to Live For

“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something…”

Yeah, you read that right. Dazai just presented an optimistic outlook on life.

He’s speaking to someone who has just lost his main purpose in being in the mafia, taking care of those orphans. Yet, he’s begging him to find a new reason to live anyway.

Part C: Last Words

That brings me to Odasaku’s final moments.

“‘You won’t find it,’ Odasaku said in almost a whisper. Dazai stared at him. ‘You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity.’”

Okay, so, Odasaku is right that Dazai won’t find purpose in the darkness, but he’s wrong about why. Dazai is not an empty person incapable of happiness. Even though Dazai thinks this means that Odasaku understood him well, we can’t forget that Dazai doesn’t really understand himself. His feelings. His mind. Dazai genuinely believes that nothing can make him happy, but he’s wrong and the consequences to Oda’s words are huge.

Now, Dazai thinks he’s a villain pretending to be hero. He thinks he’s inherently empty. WHICH IS WRONG.

Think about why Dazai went to Oda’s side in the first place. Because Oda was his friend. Dazai put his personal feelings first in that situation, and he does that more often than people tend to notice. He’s actually motivated by emotions a lot.

During Storm Bringer, Dazai basically moves Heaven and Earth to stop Verlaine and keep Chuuya in the mafia.

“‘I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…’ Dazai paused before continuing, ‘…I would be able to find something—a reason to live.’”

We have to remember who prompted Dazai to think that, Chuuya. An idea born from Dazai’s relationship to another person, not the idea itself, was what made him join the mafia.

Ranpo is definitely autistic coded, but so is Dazai. Since No Longer Human was extremely influential on BSD, and that novel has a lot of autobiographical elements in it, it makes sense that Dazai seems autistic. After reading No Longer Human myself, I really do think that Osamu Dazai (the author) was autistic. Yōzō’s (the protagonist of No Longer Human) behavior is very autistic. I mean, at one point, he describes masking verbatim.

I’m mentioning this because I think that what Dazai hopes to understand is not a reason to live itself, but other people’s motivation to live. It’s an extension of the very autistic feeling of alienation from other people. Dazai thinks there’s something wrong with him because despite caring about other people a lot, he has trouble understanding their illogical behavior. He also struggles to understand his own illogical behavior.

I also think this is why Oda struggles to understand Dazai. Because people who aren’t autistic usually struggle to understand autism. Autistic people often get profiled as ‘sociopaths’ (an outdated term that refers to Antisocial Personality Disorder) and are seen as emotionless monsters.

Dazai distances himself from other people as a defense mechanism. In his own words, “I always lose the things I don’t want to lose the most. That’s why I don’t feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it. That’s just how things are. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.” I think that indicates that he cares very much about the people in his life, but that he also lives in constant fear of losing them.

Conclusion

I don’t know how well I articulated any of this (I’m neurodivergent, can you tell?), but my point is that Odasaku took a lot about Dazai at face value, instead of trying to peel back the layers and understand him as a person. He ended up dehumanizing Dazai a bit in the process.

Dazai is far from perfect, but he’s also not inhuman.

I think about this quote from Atsushi a lot, “People need to be told they’re worthy of being alive by someone else or they can’t go on.” Like, what would have happened if someone told Dazai his life was worth living even without some grand purpose?

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #no longer human #sakunosuke oda #oda sakunosuke #the dark era

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harmonysanreads · 6 days

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i’m just thinking abot ur recent post about when you cry during a movie… i’m having dr. ratio brainrot rn pls help

no but so real. he’d just delve into the illogicality of the film while ur sobbing your eyes out. he just doesn’t understand why you’re so affected? 1. it’s not real 2. you can see this coming from a mile away (and it can be either: the thing is pretty obvious, or the thing isn’t that obvious and ratio is too smart for his own good).

when he sees you cry he does scoff at the fact that you’re crying at something so trivial, but tones down his comments and maybe… if he feels nice enough, subtly wraps an arm around you in attempt to console you.

this is more general film/movie hcs but;

actually at any point while you’re watching a film he starts rattling on about how the film’s production is bad, how that sound effect wasn’t actually realistic (they could’ve done better sound design), how the actors aren’t actually speaking in the film, they actually record their lines later on.

(he mentioned that once and now you can’t stop thinking about it while watching literally anything, be it a live show or not. when you’re having a mini-crisis over if someone on a live gameshow is actually speaking or saying their lines later, he rolls his eyes and reminds you of the fact that it’s live. you miss the fond smile on his face while he does. it’s nice to know that you pay attention to his comments during the film-)

he just ruins movies for you and at some point you never mention the fact that you’re gonna watch a film or invite him to the movies anymore. he gets a bit pouty over it — maybe you mention a film you recently watched and he stares at you, mildly offended that he wasn’t invited. you explain that he keeps ruining the film for you, why can’t you let imagination be imagination?

okay… so he tries his best to tone it down. only for you. he still points out the obvious, but tries to bite back his comments when the lead does a stunt that comes off a bit too… unnatural? (it’s just nice to see your amazed face… that’s all.) or a poor done joke that really should’ve been performed better (he likes the way you giggle at it, even if it isn’t a very good one).

i’m actualy suffering dr ratio brainrot so bad rn he is taking over my life he lives in my head rent free please help

[ Post in question ]

Anon, please save me because I too am having massive Ratio brainrot after reading your ask(s).

I think infodumping is one of Ratio's love-languages in general. It's difficult to grasp unless you've known him for a while but he wouldn't just go parading around information about a specific topic to just anyone. Moreover, he always puts emphasis on self-learning. So unless he detects enthusiasm and effort for learning or if he really likes someone, I can't see him speaking this much — about movies nonetheless.

But if we consider it being his unique way of showing affection, I presume it'll annoy him greatly if the reaction he gets is counterproductive and refrain from it altogether in the worst-case scenario. Complaining about bad filmmaking is Ratio's way of connecting with you throughout the ordeal, you can watch a movie with anyone but, how many will passionately criticize (and flaunt their knowledge) every scene in front of you? It requires a level of trust and sharing certain thoughts with someone else necessities you have good rapport, at least for characters like Ratio.

So when you mentioned him trying to tone down on the criticisms ultimately instead of shutting it off entirely, that just showed how much he actually cares about you, which I think is very sweet.

#having someone you can freely talk about anything with is so precious #i'd get along with ratio on this one actually i crave a partner who'll destroy poorly done movies with me in leisure #UNLESS it's that one movie that i have an inexplicable attachment to he'll be banned from speaking #dr ratio #dr ratio brainrot #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #veritas ratio #dr ratio fluff #hsr fluff

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nixie-writes-aot · 9 months

Text

Reactions to S/O with Abusive Family

Warnings: mentioned abuse, abuse of power/status, hurt/comfort, fluff

Characters: Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Hoover, Zeke Yeager

Author's Note: This was written purely because I wanted some hurt/comfort fjndkdmd. There are two other parts because theres like 9 characters I wrote this for

Reiner Braun

Oh boy

Family is something that means a lot to Reiner. Especially s4 Reiner. He would do anything to protect his own so someone hurting their family member?

He can't fathom it

Reiner just wants to hold you close, shield you from everything that would dare even try to hurt you

Reiner is a broken man in many aspects but you make him feel whole, you make everything okay do seeing you hurt is not something that Reiner ever wants

When you come to him? Hurt and even scared? He wants to know why, he wants you to know he's there and always will be

Reiner is stunned when you tell him the stories, the way you feel around your family, how you felt the end to always always apologize or people please just to avoid conflict

Reiner decided then and there that he hated your family, that there was no excusing how they had been adults around you and instead of nurturing you, destroyed any semblance of a child that had existed within you

He pulls you close, enveloping you in a hug and let you sob and cry into his chest

Reiner had decided he would do anything just to help you move on from them

Although Reiner could barely hide his relief and a touch of disappointment when you said you hadn't seen them in years

Reiner was half tempted to mention his desire to make them suffer using his rank as Vice Chief but opts to keep that from you. For the moment, at least. Time and place and all

Bertholdt Hoover

When you tell him, Bertholdt is quiet at first. He's the kind to process things a touch slowly

But he is horrified

Bertholdt became a Warrior for his sick father, not unlike Pieck, so when you tell him that you admire that but could never do the same for your family? That some fathers never earn the love of their children?? Bertholdt is stunned

Not because of the "but family is family" bullshit no no. Bertholdt is stunned at how you're opening up and with him of all people and the fact that anyone would dare hurt you

Bertholdt mutters about wanting to hurt them for hurting you

This is a man who was pushed into killing hundreds just because he was convinced that Eldians were devils and those who were on the island were the worst of the worst

You can't tell me when faced with the story of how your abusers are still alive, he would be kind

Well. To you, he is kind

To them? He wants to feed them to the titans

Bertholdt slowly but surely pulls you close, buring his face in your chest and whispering positive affirmations that you are worth loving, deserved so much better, and are one of the best people he had ever met

Zeke Jeager

When you tell Zeke about it, he remembers his own parents

How only his grandparents earned his love and how his father especially received his ire

In Zeke's mind, Tom Ksaver is still his real father. Even if he had to eat him in the long run

Zeke is an odd man and he doesn't really emote much but he takes a hit off his cigarette, puts it out and turns to you. Zeke offers you a sympathetic nod, an apology, and pulls you close

Zeke, unlike Reiner, would absolutely use his position as the Warchief against the people who hurt you most

Zeke would lull you to sleep, letting you sleep in his bed and feel all the perks he gets as a Warchief that can actually speak during meetings with Marleyans

His sweet nothings persistent until you've drifted away and then he steps out, probably finds Yelena while he leans beside him with a cigarette

"Find two people for me. Full name and everything, then frame them. Make them suffer. They've hurt someone I care about greatly."

Yelena doesn't even have to ask who that person is, she knows its you so she does so without question nor fail

When you hear the news, you climb into his lap and sigh, kissing him sweetly and thanking him for the small amount of justice you get to see served

Zeke would do just about anything for you, he's sure of that much

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so-ithinkicandance · 11 months

Text

Andrew!Peter Parker x GN Reader General Dating Headcanons

Andrew!Spidey is quite possibly the kindest, goofiest, and most in love man there is, and he isn't afraid to show it. He actually gives you all of his heart and soul till he understands why he loves you so much more than anything this pitiful world could ever attempt to convince him.

He hasn't always had a very positive view of himself or of who he is, but there you are. And you simply make him want to cry because you are basically the embodiment of everything the goodness, kindness, and hope he has ever attempted to discover in himself.

It comes as a shock when he reveals that he is Spider-Man, but you didn’t run or hide. He's glad he told you since he always disliked lying to you and keeping it a secret. He made a commitment to never withhold anything else from you after telling and telling you everything.

Sure, he's guarding you, but he's also afraid you might suffer harm as a result of him. In fact, it almost caused the two of you to split up earlier in the relationship since he took the blame for jeopardising your safety. You never once placed the blame on him and you were quick to forgive him, but you had to help him learn how to forgive himself. You have to tell him that you're a team and that it's alright to move on and forgive himself because he carries the weight of the world on his wide shoulders.

You are frightened the first time he carries you across New York because, in addition to thinking you will be too heavy for him to carry, you are also terrified of the idea. He reassures you, reminding you of his strength, that he can carry you and that he won't let go. You hardly open your eyes to look the entire time, clinging to him, but you make it! The entire time, he gives you comfort by assuring you that he has you and will keep you safe—and he does.

Aunt May adores you very much. She notices your kindness and can tell Peter loves you just by looking at him. You are always invited whenever she extends an invitation to Peter to visit. Peter makes fun of the fact that Aunt May prefers you to him.

Aunt May likes to share all the embarrassing tales with you and gossip with you about how Peter was as a young lad.

He is impulsive and will take you on a picnic on top of a building in the centre of the city while taking you on a swing through New York. He will visit you at work during your lunch break and drive you to a location with a nicer view than the staff area where you can eat your meal.

The two of you have so much fun together. He’s your best friend and that means that you can authentically be your silliest selves around the other without a care or without judgement. You dance around the kitchen singing your Elvis impressions full pelt, you play hide and seek in pretty much every large department store you visit because why not? There’s just so much laughter in your relationship with Peter and you adore it.

Peter isn't embarrassed to display his sensitive or helpless side to you. He's had nightmares about his parents, Uncle Ben, or the horrors of villains he's battled many times, and you're the one who comforts him by enveloping him in blankets, bringing him tea, and giving him temple kisses. You assist him in processing all of the trauma that he puts himself through.

Sometimes, particularly when he’s having those nightmares or going through a rough patch, you need to remind him to take care of himself. You’re the one who makes the meals and almost forces the plate into his hand to eat it instead of eating processed junk. You’re the one who gets in the shower with him, scrubbing the grime, dirt and blood of him, washing his hair and leaving little kisses on his collarbone. You’re the one who always packs a water bottle and snacks in his backpack for when he’s going out on patrol just so you know that he’s got something to eat and drink.

His computer background and phone background are photos of you. The one on his phone is a candid photo of you laughing that you hate but he loves because he loves that smile of yours. His computer background is a photo of the two of you at one of your family members weddings.

Peter always kind of knew that he wanted to marry you. After one and a half years of dating, Aunt May gives Peter his mother’s old engagement ring. It’s simple but beautiful and it holds a lot of meaning. Peter carries it with him, he’s not sure when he’ll ask you but he carries it with him every single day just waiting for the right moment.

Peter always know what to say to make you weak at the knees. It’s like he has a bank of the most beautiful things to say to make you giggle and blush like a teenager.

He enjoys kissing you. He kisses you on your lips, tummy, shoulder, neck, wrists, and knuckles in addition to your forehead, temple, and nose. If he had the slightest chance, he would kiss you nonstop. He simply enjoys kissing you.

He has a cocoa, coffee, and earthy scent. The chocolate is normally a snack from his backpack that you've packed, and the woodsy aroma comes from how much he enjoys being outside and learning about nature. He typically consumes coffee continuously to stay awake throughout the long evenings.

He is not reluctant to publicly declare his love for you. He never fails to hold your hand, give you a hug, or declare his love for you in the middle of the street. He would practically serenade you until you asked him to stop if it bothered you.

He’s very chill, he’s very low pressure so if you’re not feeling up to doing something, he doesn’t mind. He wants you to be comfortable so however he can help and whatever he can do to make you comfortable, he’ll do it. He doesn’t make you feel bad for it either.

Peter celebrates every single win with you no matter how big or small. He’s so proud of you and just wants you to know that so even if it’s something simple like you managed to figure out something in work or you managed to nail the recipe for those cookies that you’d been trying to perfect all week, he’ll celebrate and be so proud of you.

You are the one who gives him a massage and helps him shower after a difficult argument. You'll take care of him, tend to his injuries, and make sure he's both psychologically and physically healthy.

He makes you feel like the sexiest and most beautiful person alive. He could compliment you for hours as he looks into your eyes. He kisses you with so much passion that it makes you forget about everything. He worships you and your body, kissing you everywhere. He would spend hours making you feel good, making you orgasm over and over before he even thought about pleasuring himself. Sometimes, maybe after a hard fight, he’s rougher and more desperate, skipping the foreplay and just desperate to feel you. Most often though, he takes his time, teasing you and praising you. He makes you feel so unbelievably good, better than you ever thought you could feel.

He’s taller than you so the height difference when hugging him standing up is just *chefs kiss*. It also means that he can reach for the stuff you can’t get because you’re too short.

He has so many nicknames for you. He makes a new nickname or pet name up every day pretty much. Some are funny, some are cute and some can never hear the light of day again.

You sleep wrapped around each other, cuddled right into each other’s skin. He loves sleeping with your head on his chest, it makes him feel like he’s protecting you and keeping you safe. He also enjoys being the little spoon. He’s versatile.

You want to take his clothes, but since he's a really lean guy, he buys sweatshirts in a larger size and wears them before giving them to you. This way, the sweatshirts are not just the right size for you but also smell exactly like him. He never once criticizes you for your weight, shape, or size; in fact, he gives you compliments.

#andrew garfield #peter parker #Spider-Man #headcanons #marvel #peter parker x gn!reader #spider man x reader #peter parker x reader #andrew!peter x reader #andrew!spiderman #andrew!peter parker #the amazing spider man #tasm spiderman #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter headcanons

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anxious-witch · 7 months

Note

actually you know what, a drunk jan crying over how beautiful and sweet nace is would be a delight to read. writer's choice who he's talking to

Sorry this took so long, but here it is! Hope you like it!

TW for alcohol consumption

"But Jure, Jure listen to me. Are you listening?"

Jan tried to get Jure's attention by grabbing his sleeve and lightly tugging. Jure finally looked away from his empty glass and back to him. He looked tired, but Jan was too deep into the bottle of whiskey to stop.

"Yes, Janči, I am listening."

"Nace is just...so wonderful. He remembers all the little things. When I get to the practice, he just knows when I want coffee. And he knows my coffee order too!"

Jure bit his lip, as if stopping himself from saying anything. And okay, yes they all had the same order, exceot for Kris. But still. It counted. Jan took his coffee with very little sugar, while Jure put two spoonfuls in his. The difference mattered.

"Very thoughtful of him."

Jan sighed. They were at the studio, wjere they usually practiced. Just upstairs, taking up the little table. There was enough space, as long as neither of them tried to stand up.

Jan flopped down on the bench, staring at the ceiling.

"He is generally so wonderful and thoughtful but-"

Jure groaned and leaned his head against the table. When he didn't say anything, Jan continued.

"I really can't believe he shaved. He looked like-like-"

"Like he is straight?" Jure asked, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Well, yes. That was a gist of it. Not that Jan meant to imply being straight was bad. Obviously not.

"Like he is straight and goes to church."

Jure chuckled.

"Wait, doesn't he?"

Jan blinked, turning his gaze from the ceiling to Jure.

"Doesn't he what? Straight?"

Jure slapped his hand over his forehead.

"How does that even make sense? No, I mean, doesn't he go to church?"

Jan shrugged. Not really. He believed in God, as far as Jan gathered, but it's not like he had the time to go to a church every Sunday. It was a topic Jan tiptoed about, knowing their views would differ. Maybe he should ask.

"I don't think so?"

"Aren't you dating him?"

Jan sat back up again, just so he could glare at Jure.

"Yes. But asking him if he goes on his knees for the lord the same way he does for me wasn't my first priority."

Jure's nose scrunched up in disgust. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey on the table, and chugged what little alcohol was left in it.

"I didn't need that mental image."

Jan shrugged. That wasn't his problem.

"He does look very pretty when he-"

"No! No, no, no! No. I love you both and I will suffer through you rambling about how much you love him, but I draw the line at hearing about your sex life."

He supposed that was fair. He wouldn't want to hear about Jure's sex life either. Or god forbid, Bojan's. They heard too much of that during Nordic tour as it was.

"I do really think Nace is wonderful. Even when he gets a stupid idea to shave. And he is so attractive. Like, his arms? And tattoos? I don't think I will ever get over that."

Jure snored.

"Right. Naturally."

"Have you seen his tattoos?"

Jure looked ready to snap back when they heard the door downstairs open. Jure was closer to the fence, so he peeked down.

"Oh, thank God. Hey, Nace!"

Jan stuck out his tongue at Jure. He was that eager to get rid of him, huh?

"Hey Jure. Is Jan with you?"

"Unfortunately. Please take him with you."

Jan kicked him under the table and Jure hissed, throwing him a dirty look. Traitor.

"Bad cat."

Jure looked ready to pounce him like an actual cat, but was stopped by Nace climbing up the stairs. Jan turned to look at him and immediately glared.

"Who are you?"

Nace rolled his eyes.

"Your boyfriend."

"My boyfriend has a beard."

Jure slapped his hand iver his mouth, but Jan could still hear him giggling. Nace sighed.

"Well, your boyfriend shaved. It'll grow back. Can we go home now?"

"I can't, I have a boyfriend."

Jure stopped pretending to hide his laughter and instead doubled over on his bench, laughing. Nace pursed his lips.

"How much of that whiskey did he drink?"

"Bot m-"

"I had two shots. He drank the rest."

Jan looked at Jure in surprise. Did he? He didn't think he drank that much. Then again, he supposed with how easily and unguardedly words came to him, it was possible.

Nace sat on the bench next to him and cupped his cheek. Jan raised his eyes to look at him and did his best not to immediately melt into the touch. Beard or no beard, when Nace looked at him with such soft gaze, Jan find him hard to resist.

"Anddd that's my cue to leave. Don't forget to lock the studio."

Jure grabbed his stuff and got up. Nace briefly broke their staring contest to wave at Jure.

"Say hi to Kris," Nace said.

Jure tripped before rushing down the stairs. Jan frowned. Kris? Why-

Nace turned back towards him and kissed his forehead.

"If you get down the stairs, I will carry you to the car."

"Who said I can't get to the car on my own?!"

Nace smirked.

"Can you?"

Oh, that asshole. Jan could do more than that. He grabbed Nace by the shoulder and pushed him down, so he laid on the bench. Nace didn't look particularly surprised, not even when Jan got on top, pinning him down.

"Yes."

Then he kissed him. Hard. Nace tangled his hand in his hair and pulled him closer. Jan quickly got lost in the kiss, forgetting where they were, up until he pulled back to catch hia breath.

Nace's pupils were dark and wide.

"Perhaos we shoukd take this home."

Jan pressed another hard but quick kiss to his lips. Then he chuckled.

"What?"

"I just have one question before we go," he said, pulling back to sit on his heels.

Nace raised an eyebrow.

"Which would be?"

"Did you shave so you could go to church?"

The look on Nace's face was worth the shove he got in response. He laughed all the way to the car.

He supposed that as much as he hated the shaved look, it did make plenty of opportunity for jokes.

#my writing #asks #jance #jan peteh #nace jordan #joker out

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ask-the-pale-elf · 6 months

Note

“Have you…” they start, voice shaking, “Astarion, have you ever wondered… why? Why was it that I always chose to help whoever asked and even those who didn’t? Wondered why I was so willing, so eager, to put my neck on the line,” they briefly snort at the unintentional pun, “for others? Why I’m always volunteer for the first night watch shift or so quick to give potions? Have you ever wondered that?”

They stop for a moment to take a deep breath before they continue, voice more akin to a whisper, “Did you think it was because I’m gullible or weak or naive to how this world is? Because if so…” their voice hardens as their arms curl tighter around them and they look him in the face as if daring for him to disagree with what they say next, “I can assure you that I am not.”

“On the contrary, I know all too well of how wicked and vile the world we live in is,” their voice gets stronger and harsher the longer they speak, “I know that so many people die, and starve, and hurt, and cry, and suffer every single day. I li--“ they cut themself off abruptly before taking a deep breath to reigntheir emotions back in and loosen their hold around themself, “I get it.”

“The reason I do the things I do is because I actively choose to do them. I try to be the person I wished was there for me.” Their voice is gentle once more and their gaze softens, “I know it would be easier to be selfish. Hells, some days I’m really tempted to just… give in and be cruel because it would be so, so much easier than what I’m actually doing. But I don’t. You want know why?”

“Because I know I’ll regret it later. I know I’ll regret giving in and being cruel like those who were cruel to me. So instead, I stay kind. Give myself away, piece by piece. If my pain can lessen anyone else’s pain, I’m fine with that. What’s one more drop in the ocean?” They ask rhetorically and follow it with light laughter, “I would’ve been a good follower of Ilmater, huh?”

“Anyways,” they clear their throat before vaguely gesturing as if trying to brush everything off, “Sorry for that spiel. Didn’t mean to say all of that. What you do and how you do what you do is of no business to me. I don’t judge. I just wanted to asked if you could keep that in mind. Well,” they stretch out their arms and back before moving to start back to the campfire, “now that that’s been said, I should get started on food for the rest of the camp. You’re welcome to your own meal later if you want. See ya, Astarion.”

(Hi, sorry this was so long, if you don’t want to answer such a long ask, that’s fine! I have a rather… ‘descriptive’ writing style naturally, so I understand. I’d also probably like to shoot more asks like this if you were okay with longer asks… and angst cause I have a bunch of that. - Starlight (not necessarily cause of Astarion, but because I’m an astronomy nerd))

Astarion's eyes hardened, his fangs poking out of his lips threatening to pierce skin. A cruel laugh was forced out of his mouth, "Oh, how kind! How merciful of you, a great hero saving everyone from their troubles! How.... quaint."

His sneers highlighted how much he despised your kindness, it was pathetic. It was petty, he knew this but it didn't erase how much he wished you would just ignore everyone else and just focused on yourself. Then it would be far easier to understand you, he could relate to you and then try to persuade you to his side. No... not try, succeed, you wouldn't need that much convincing.

But oh you... you just had to be the good guy didn't you. You had to help people out of the "goodness of your heart." Astarion could gag himself with a spoon.

Astarion gritted his teeth together and glared straight into your soul, "If you're done trying to make me feel bad for not being a saint like yourself, I have something to say in return."

He placed his hand on his dead heart and gave the fakest smile you that you had ever seen, "You don't get to lecture me and walk away, you don't get to try to make me feel bad about myself and have the final say. Oh, no, no, no! You are staying right here, and you're going to listen."

"It is easier to be selfish, for gods' sake! It's necessary, do you really think that everyone gets a knight in shining armor to save them?! NO! They get pain, they get anguish, they get despair, and they get all their hopes ripped away from them even when they think they don't have any left. I know what you are, you just want to feel better than people like me... Who know how fucked up they are and know what they deserve."

By this point, Astarion's bared fangs were practically inches away from your face, "Because after 200 years of shit. PURE SHIT! I think I deserve something better. And I don't need some foolish hero like you to get in my way."

With his fuming face and his clawed hands balled up into fists, he gives you one last glare before walking away.

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imisskacchan · 10 months

Text

Little Princess//pt.2//

Find pt.1 here

TW: Non-con Elements,

The rest of the voyage you didn’t utter another word. You wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing how angry they made you.

Instead you thought about all the ways you could make them suffer like they did to you

You arrived on the shore of what you guessed was their settlement.

Bakugo led you off the ship where you were met by many other women who had come to greet their men. The red head was greeted by a beautiful woman with soft pink hair. The man with freckles was greeted by a woman with big round cheeks.

Did they know their men were murderers? What they went to do ll for your sake was unforgivable.

These people get to be happy while you suffer. They get to know a kind of love you never will.

You’ll never get to meet your true love like all of the princesses did in the fairytales your mother read to you.

No instead you have to walk around with the monsters who ruined your life.

“Why’re you fucking crying now?” Katsuki asked turning your face to meet his. You hadn’t even noticed your tears falling.

You quickly pulled away from his touch. Touching him felt like daggers piercing your skin. You couldn’t bare even standing in the same vicinity as your captor.

He scoffed and pulled you with him away from the others.

He brought you to his hut. It was fairly large inside with space for a bed topped with luscious furs, a carved stone tub, and a chimney.

He let you look around for a moment before bringing you to sit on the bed and tying your hands to the bedpost. Your wrist ached at the strenuous position.

“Don’t move, i’ll be back later and when I am i’ll really give you something to cry about, princess.” he says walking out the door leaving you alone.

Did he mean what you though he meant-?

You had to get out of here. Maybe there were neighboring tribes that would take you in. It didn’t matter as long as you left now. Your plot for revenge was forgotten in regards for self preservation.

You pulled on your ropes but they were tied too tight, you’d have to find something to cut them with.

You looked around and thanked the heavens. Katsuki had weapons hanging up all over the hut. The closest one was hanging by the end of the bed. You used your foot to reach and knock it down before bringing it to cut your ropes. You were careful not to hurt your wrist anymore.

You actually did it, now you just had to escape without anyone noticing. Simple enough right?

You found one of Katsuki’s cloths and wrapped it around your wrist straightening it.

You hurried to the exit peeking outside to make sure no one was around.

Everyone seemed to be celebrating around a large bonfire. You were thankful that no one noticed you as you made your way out the door and through the village.

You stopped when you came across a forest. Surely with the sun down it would be hard track you. You took a deep breath and started walking into the woods.

“Hey!” a voice called from behind you.

You didn’t even look back before you started running. You weren’t familiar with the terrain but you wouldn’t stop running. Every second was pertinent if you wanted to get away.

You almost trip a few times but manage to correct yourself before you can. Your legs are tired and it feels like you’ve been running forever. You keep on and hope you’ve gone far enough.

It’s cold out and you’re not dressed appropriately. All you have to keep you warm is a scarf.

It’s been about half an hour since you left. The man from before didn’t chase you but no doubt he went to get the chief.

You didn’t know where you were going or what you were gonna do.

You panicked when you heard footsteps behind you. You ran as fast as your legs would carry you. Jumping over logs and weaving through trees you tried to put distance between you and whoever was out there.

You thought you could actually get away. Well till a strong body slammed into yours pinning you to the ground. You thrashed against them but with your broken wrist it was useless.

“Thought you could run away from me huh?” he whispered tightening his hands around your wrists bringing them above your head. You cried out from the pain.

Katsuki.

“You’ll never get the chance again” he says calmly pulling you to your feet.

When you arrived back at the village everyone was staring at you like you were some prized animal that was caught.

Katsuki pulled you closer to him as you walked through the crowd of people.

“Mine” he growled in your ear.

“I’d rather die than belong to you” you replied with disgust lacing your tone.

“Yeah we’ll see about that princess” he chuckled.

Your heart pounded when he brought you back to his hut. Your discarded ropes still laid on the bed where you left them.

“You’ve got balls princess, i’ll give you that” Katsuki said breaking the silence as he pushed you onto the bed.

“It’s just gonna make it all the more fun to break you” he smirked as he took off his clothes.

His build was like something of a God. He had hard washboard abs with a surprisingly small waist. You willed yourself not to look down as he removes his pants.

Your self control could use some work.

It was like he had a third leg...

How was that going to fit inside you?

He could obviously see the panic in your eyes because he reassured you that he’d ‘make it fit’.

He came to stand between your legs where you sat on the side of the bed.

You tried to scoot away but his hand came to grip your hair keeping you still.

“Please... don’t- i’ve never...” you stuttered trying to find something to say that could buy you some time.

“Oh? The little princess is a virgin huh?” he sneered as you brought your lip between your teeth.

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you” he promised before moving to take your clothes off and pushing you back against the bed. He climbs on top of you and straddles your legs between his.

“W-wait no don’t” you begged as he ran his calloused palms over your bare body.

“I was gonna go slow, but I changed my mind after I had to chase your through the goddamn woods for a half hour” he growled.

The air escapes from your lungs when you feel him run a thick finger over your slit. You shiver at the sensation clenching your thighs together and a chuckle falls from the blonde.

“What princess? Never had someone play with your clit before?” he mocked as he slaps your thigh hard causing you to cry out. He places his legs between yours forcing you to keep them open.

His digits move between your folds causing you to whimper and try and pull away from him. That earns you another slap.

“Stay. Fucking. Still.” he orders as his fingers continue to move. You feel yourself starting to get wet and your cheeks heat up.

“Look at you, hah fucking soaking and i’ve barely touched you”

“N-no I-“ you choked as you felt him press a digit into your warm core.

“Fuck princess, so fucking tight” he groans feeling your walls clench around him. You let out a loud moan as his thumb presses against your clit.

You hips buck against him, the feeling of pleasure washes over you as his fingers plunge into your heat.

Katsuki feels you clench down on him and before you can come he pulls his fingers out.

You whimper at the lost sensation and look up to find him stroking his length.

“Don’t worry princess i’ll let you come, just on my cock” he says rubbing his tips through your wet folds collecting your arousal.

You go to protest bit before you can he sinks into you at a agonizingly slow pace. Taking inch after inch you feel like he’s gonna split you open.

When he finally bottoms out inside you tears begin to fall down your cheeks at how full you feel.

“I-it hurts Katsuki” you cry out.

He ignores you as he pulls his length out.

“Fuck... please” you choke out. He reaches up and closes a fist around your throat.

“Come on Y/N... fuck... beg for it- beg for me to fuck you, to let you come, do it” he says through clenched teeth.

You can’t even string together a thought right now. You feel so unbelievably full.

“Please... Katsuki please fuck me” you whimper.

“Please make me come”

That’s all he needs to hear before he sheaths himself inside of you, watching as your eyes roll back and your mouth opens into a silent moan.

“Fuck Y/N... you’re fucking mine, say it- fuck say it” he growls as he pounds into you.

“I’m- I... fuck... I’m yours Katsuki.” He chuckles before his mouth latches onto your neck biting hard.

He marked you.

“That’s fucking right you are, and i’m gonna fill you up so fucking good princess.” He moans as he feels you lose yourself around him.

“Yeah that’s it come on my fucking cock... fuck... good girl, my good little slut.” He pulls your legs up and places them on his shoulders so he can be deeper inside you.

His mouth comes to claim yours with a hungry kiss full of passion and lust. He chuckles when he pulls away seeing your blissed out expression.

He picks up his pace and his cock brushed against your cervix causing you to cry out in pleasure and pain.

“F-fuck Katsuki’s too much” you whine as his cock relentlessly hits your g-spot.

“Yeah you gonna come again? Come on princess... shit... come all over my cock like the whore you are.” And you do. Your back arches and tears fall as you scream in bliss, he growls as he fucks into you chasing his own release.

He bites at your soft skin leaving his mark on you.

“ ‘M gonna fucking fill you up, breed you like a fucking slut.” You’re too blissed out to hear he fucks your through your orgasm.

His head rests on yours as he listens to your mewls and he groans loudly as he paints your walls with his cum.

He pulls out and rolls over pulling you against his chest.

“Don’t ever run from me again.” You just nod.

After all you were just a little princess and there wasn’t much you could do against the King.

#yandere bakugo x reader #viking bakugo #size k1nk

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drifting-pieces-blog-blog · 4 months

Text

Breaking down the comics: BEMIS. Part 1

READING THINGS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO!

Alright, I covered "Age of Khonshu" and honestly was so incensed that I had to make a post talking about it.

So let's get this other bread (and burn it).

A lot of new Moon Knight fans have heard the cry when asked what to read and where to get started. And true fans everywhere agree: DON'T READ BEMIS.

And there are long posts and screams and sobbing about why not to read it that come out to "It's so bad!"

But there are the curious out there. They want to know why it's bad. They want to know what happened. And...well...

It spans a few issues. I…I was foolish and thought “I can do this in one go! How long can this take? I don’t want to spend that much time on BEMIS.” ….I forgot that doing one of these usually takes me the better part of a day to cover ONE issue.

I’m going to break this up into Four (fuck you Tumblr) parts and cover both volumes instead of a post per issue. I don’t want Bemis to take up that much space so prepare for a few VERY LONG posts.

Let's ruin my month! (AKA: Watch me slowly descend into blind rage).

Marvel Legacy: Moon Knight. 2017. Issues 188-200.

Part 1: Crazy Runs in the Family. (Issues 188-193) Published: November 08, 2017

Written by: Max Bemis

Art by: Jacen Burrows

Editor: Jeff Youngquist

Let's start with:

WHO IS MAX BEMIS?

Oh my god he's in a band. He's the lead singer for the rock band "Say Anything".

My level of disappointment just doubled.

According to his bio: He was raised in a 'strong Jewish environment'. His grandparents survived the Holocaust. All this has inspired his music.

(I can't even begin to tell you how much actually looking up who he is has made me ten times angrier).

In 2013 he started to write comics. More importantly, he wrote for characters that suffered different mental health issues. ('Polarity' at Boom! Studios about a hero with bipolar disorder).

He then ended up at Marvel.

For his personal life: He has bipolar disorder and self medicates with drugs (Marijuana).

He also self identifies as "A Jew who is also a Christian", which he considers a "New age, metaphysical view" on religion.

Good. Great. Fantastic. Now I know who this man is and I hate him even more.

What's even funnier? Apparently his music fans ALSO hate him because he's "a sanctimonious hypocrite".

Seriously, there's a whole Reddit page on why he's a terrible person. I'm not going to site any sources because I can't fact check a lot of those claims and maybe they are false or maybe they are true. I'm not here to slander a life. I'm here to talk about Moon Knight.

I’ve procrastinated enough. Let’s go….

We open on "Ravencroft Asylum". Good start.

We see a Doctor Emmett talking to a patient in a locked cell that's stylized like a prison interrogation cell.

"You say remembering your youth is like looking through a layer of Jell-O. Were do things become lucid? When did you become yourself?"

(I already hate it).

"I learned who I was in the army, that much is clear." The patient responds.

"I get it. The army. The incident. Aside from the physical, what did you walk away with on the day you hurt them?" The doctor looks at the files.

And the patient is hesitant to speak on it, but he tells her that "In the army, I learned that there is a God."

He talks about how he saw God 'in his fire' and that non-believers, atheists, skeptics, and all that are wrong. How they can't understand how big God is.

(And now I remember when I first read this how uncomfortable this first issue made me.)

"They weren't very nice to me in the Army, but why would they be? I had to show them I was more devoted, more significant than they were."

I'm going to put a pause on this right here after just two pages. There are some Trigger Warnings that need to be discussed real quick.

I grew up in the deep south and I’ve legit heard talk like this in real life. It’s terrifying.

I knew a lot of 'born again' Christians who tried to 'save my soul'.

This comic is going to get VERY uncomfortable for anyone that has had to deal with religious trauma. Just putting it out there. Skip if you can't handle any sort of religious trauma like excessive God Talk, Cultish behavior, Come to Jesus moments, or severe Antisemitism.

On top of the religions issues, this comic is also going to have significant mental health mishandling. We’re talking about abuse from Doctor figures, use of improper terminology, abuse of the mentally ill, and severe discrimination.

OH and misogyny. Let’s not forget the misogyny.

This comic run also gets very…disgusting. I had many moments when reading this that legitimately turned my stomach. There is going to be depictions of self mutilation, gore, suicidal acts, and violence.

I AM GOING TO CENSOR THINGS. I will not blur images, but I will NOT be posting any of the comic pages that depict any of these violent, shock value, images. I’ll give a brief rundown of what’s going on and tell you that there is an image that I am going to skip. I’m telling you guys, these two runs were disgusting and curdled my stomach many times. Especially issue two.

So…Those are your only trigger warnings.

Let’s continue.

So now we see a narration by Dr. Emmett.

It is not going to paint a good light on Dr. Emmett.

She's in her office at night going over files.

"Sometimes, this job is guiltily fun... To be frank, patient 86 is @#%$ FASCINATING. He attributes his pyromania to a leap of faith. Conversely, I might argue that it was the fifth canteen full of force-fed urine that inspired him.

Sometimes I get him so fully that it's like I want to have a beer with the guy.

He wears self-delusion with so much dignity. I wish I had that level of resolve, that I could stop fixating on the...SPECTOR conundrum.

I'm just a failure of a doctor, left without a shell-shocked dissociative bipolar to shove away in a box.

In any other instance, I'd dial this one in. It's just that one nagging thing.

Lunatic joins the army. Said lunatic freaks out and ends up spiritually reborn in a near-death experience.

Sound like anyone you know?"

OH GOOD. GREAT. I just... Deep breath. Deep breath.

We’re going to play that angle. Woman psychiatrist/psychologist falls for her feminine desire to get with her patient. She can’t be expected to uphold her standards as a doctor or her doctor patient relationship. She has to dream for that exciting patient. She plays it off as wanting the award winning famous patient that makes her career into something amazing but because she’s a woman she has to play the dreamy sighing “Oh look how amazing he is!” role. And of course she’s after Marc. She can’t have Marc, so she finds this other patient that has a similar start of PTSD military based trauma and she’s going to fail to help him because she wants him to be like the other guy.

Not to mention she's using outdated terms like "Shell Shocked".

A term coined in WWI when for the first time, the world witnessed large groups of men coming back from war after encountering new aged weapons never dealt with or seen before.

Then she calls him Bipolar and links it to his Dissociative disorder.

I don't have a degree in psychology, but I do have a special interest. From what I've seen in the OG early comics by Moench, Marc Spector is not Bipolar. He does not exhibit episodes of mania followed by deep periods of depression. I'd go further into it, but trust me... He has a LOT of issues, but Bipolar was not one of them to start with.

In fact, after Schizophrenia, Bipolar was one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental illnesses. A lot of people with DID were misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder because of the way the symptoms presented in many cases. You didn't have another person in your brain, you were just exhibiting mania and now you're depressed.

ANOTHER THING to take issue with!

This comic is coming DIRECTLY on the heels of Lemire's run. In that run, it was the first time we dealt with Marc's official time in the army and his dissociative states.

We saw Marc wandering through the desert, dissociating and dealing with Khonshu issues.

The off handed tick about "Lunatic joins the army. Said lunatic freaks out and ends up spiritually reborn in a near-death experience."

1. The army did not lead to a Near-Death experience for Marc Spector. He joined the Mercenaries and was killed when his conscious got the better of him and his leader shot him for trying to save someone.

2. A doctor of psychology should NOT be using terms like 'Lunatic'.

3. Marc didn't 'FREAK OUT'. He had several dissociative episodes that ended up with him being discharged.

4. Marc was NOT 'spiritually reborn'. Depending on who is writing and how Khonshu himself is being depicted... An ancient god revived him as his avatar. This is not converting him in any sense of the word. Marc Spector may have issues with his Jewish beliefs and upbringing, but he is still very Jewish. He was NOT 'spiritually reborn'. He was brought back to life to act as Avatar and Marc took this to being Moon Knight, vengeance, paying for the pain he caused, and trying to be a better person. To be a different person. To be anyone except Marc Spector. Jake and Steven took this to just mean that they wanted to help people.

So... Yeah... Now we move on to the title page.

This is going well. We can already tell that Bemis either just didn’t read the Lemire run and got the cliff notes, or he just didn’t care and only took away bits without understanding the actual story it had to tell.

ON THE TITLE PAGE. Ohhhhh man you guys. ON THE TITLE PAGE.

Every title page has a little blurb explaining who the character is and what's been going on in previously connected issues. This way, people can pick it up and just go without having to dig through old comics. It's also a good reminder for people like me, who have shit memories and have forgotten what's going on after having to wait a whole month for the new issue.

I honestly have no idea who writes these blurbs. Sometimes you'll get the same blurb that lass for YEARS. (see Bendis run and how that carried over for runs and runs).

"Marc Spector. Steven Grant. Jake Lockley. Each a distinct personality of one man vying for control. Spector, the original personality, has asserted his dominance and fights to retain that control. But years ago, as a mercenary, Spector died in Egypt under a statue of the Moon God Khonshu. In the shadow of the ancient deity, Marc returned to life. From then on, Marc took on a new aspect in honor of Khonshu, dedicating his second life to fighting crime as....

MOON KNIGHT".

I want to fight someone. I don’t know who. But I want to fight someone. Whoever wrote this… This is what Marvel took away from the Lemire run. His beautiful run that for the first time, really dealt with Moon Knight’s mental health struggles. That said “They have dissociative Identity Disorder. They are a system. They have learned how to work together. They have found peace in who they are.” And whoever wrote this blurb went “Nawh, but Marc is the dominant and original personality and he’s in charge now!”

Editor in Chief: Axel Alonso

Chief Creative Officer: Joe Quesada.

Ah... These guys. These guys are to blame. We meet again Quesada...

Alright. We now see Dr. Emmett at some party (birthday party? They're all wearing party hats but they're clearly eating dinner and one guy is wearing a kippah and someone else is wearing a top hat and one guy is wearing no hat. I... I don't even know. This is all a disaster at this point.)

The group is laughing about things and Dr. Emmett is day dreaming about Marc Spector.

"Marc, my former patient. And this new one, patient 86. Traumatic experiences in the middle east. The similarity is brazen. Was there something in Marc's experience that patient 86 could..."

Her thoughts are interrupted as one of her colleagues takes a jab at her. "Still stuck on the hooded leotard guy?"

She snaps to defense and they tell her to let it go. That she can do better than 'that loser'.

Back at home, she's angry. Moon Knight is not a loser in a leotard.

And we see her shrine. Yeah... This is healthy.

Oh good. Back at work she's dealing with patient 86. She's attempting to explain how his brain works to him.

Get ready for some grade A psychology here people.

She explains that on one side of his brain is chemistry and the other is "Personality. Socially ingrained behavior. I want you to see the distinction."

He asks her that the fact that he's murdered people should label him as insane.

She disagrees. "I'm not sure the fact that you're a murderer proves anything about your nature."

Hmm.

She goes on to explain that "So many have been clinically impared by their unique brain chemistry. They needed help. We failed them. Imagine hearing audible voices that told you to eat a person. These people needed treatment."

And she points to cases like Sam, Gein, and Fish.

Yeah... Because Gein needed treatment. I'm just gonna... Just gonna.... ARGH.

"You developed bipolar disorder during your early adulthood. Moods fluctuating from mania to depression to utterly convincing delusion. Compounded by the traumatic childhood on the street, in state homes, and juvie that you barely recall. None of these things were your fault. Nor what happened in the desert."

Okay, they're just throwing out things at this point. They're just going to start listing off the sterotypical bad childhood leads to a bad kid and trauma things.

She then goes on to tell him that she understands what he did. That it was not his fault, that he was looking for something to control and fire was his answer. Not to mention God. "None of these symbols are inherently harmful. I've seen the power of symbolism redeem one of my patients who was literally split apart by trauma."

oh no. no no no no...That's not how... ARGH.

"Imagine what it could do for someone who was ready to receive help. Bipolar disorder, when tempered, can produce intense inspiration and creativity. I want to help you."

And she adds "Kurt Cobain" to the list.

I'm just going to... To sit here... quietly raging.

Alright, so now we see Dr. Emmett walking through the Egyptian exhibit at the museum.

"If Egyptian Mythology worked for Spector...It could work for my mysteriously nameness patient."

HOW IS HE NAMELESS?! HE WAS IN THE ARMY. They KNOW where he was stationed, they know what unit he was in, they know the trauma he faced and bullying, and they know the group of people he killed! OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO KNOW WHO HE IS.

"As I stand in front of the statue of Khonshu, Marc's main squeeze, I have a very important realization--Marc Spector may be legally insane... But he was never crazy at all.

Is every priest who hears the voice of their lord crazy? Every shaman? The damn writers of the constitution, invoking god on every page?

Marc manifested the meaning of this icon. His dissociative identity disorder simply brought it more vividly to life.

He needed an emblem of his inner bedlam and his innate need to protect victims. And the god of these qualities--Khonshu--came to him literally."

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. He didn't get DID out in the desert. He's had it since he was a very young boy! He didn't go to Khonshu to try to make sense of it! His DID didn't 'bring it to light'. It didn't make him hear the voice of god!

So she decides to pick out a god for her patient.

Cause that's healthy.

She considers Osiris, Horus, ....Imhotep...

But of course she stops at Ra.

You know what's really getting to me right now? This so called Ivy league doctor that clearly has no idea what she's doing, has zero ability to draw the line at doctor patient relationship, her obsessive tendencies, and pushing her obsession onto another patient.

Furthermore, when you look at Patient 86, you do see a man that recognizes that he did something wrong. That he needs help and is in a place to try to understand how his own brain is working. We see him clinging to her words and trying to understand where she's going with her treatment.

She explains that Khonshu is Ra's son.

"I explain my understanding of the two gods' dynamic to 86. Some of it comes from established myth, some from Freudian interpretation."

FREUDIAN. THEY ARE GOING FREUDIAN. This is a no Freud zone.

"Amon Ra represented the burning, blazing emblem of masculine virility that is the sun. In many cultures, the sun stands for the sovereignty of masculinity --logic and raw power. But in the New Kingdom of Egyptian lore it was his Adopted son Khonshu who was described as "Greatest God of the Great Gods."

(Nope. There was a brief Khonshu cult where they briefly played at worshiping the Moon instead of the sun. This was later put down and Ra resurged as the leading deity again. And it certainly wasn't the 'New Kingdom' path to look at him as the greatest of the great).

"Khonsu of the moon, a universal symbol for the redemptive power of insubordination--femininity and sensitivity. The Ras of this world resent becoming passe. It makes them angry. And they burn harder to spite their own impotence. Established society can't accept change. Can't accept that the old ways don't work anymore."

Oh good. Misogynistic teachings. Just what he needs.

"Something happened to you when you were young, dropped you into a sea of lost children. I believe what you're hiding from yourself was most likely some form of abuse."

She asks him to try to remember and he does remember abuse from the people in the army but also as a child being abused.

Now we have the utmost breach of doctor patient confidentiality.

"Finally, I reveal the tale of Marc Spector to 86. How a confused mentally unstable boy drew on the figurative power of the Moon to justify his nature.

Marc's transformation into the hero called Moon Knight...A role model for the bewildered.

I pass along all my endless research and documentation of his life since he was under my care, as well as several well-regarded books considering Egyptian mythology."

AHHHHHHHHHH.

"And madly enough, patient 86 gets it. It clicks in him. He sees how Spector, like him, was not just insane, but was truly immersed in a living myth. It was never the moon's fault that it shone so brightly."

Now we see Dr. Emmett having a nightmare.

She sits in a large empty and white office when she's suddenly attacked by mummies.

Moon Knight shows up to save her and rips apart the mummies.

But wait, it's not Moon Knight!

JESUS. I don't know why that reminded me. But this patient is purposefully drawn to resemble the white Christian version of Jesus. So that’s another contention I have with this comic.

I’m also 90% certain that that cat wasn’t white a few pages ago…

Alright, back at the asylum, we see a changed patient. He's more confident. More thoughtful.

She tells him he needs to be present and not dissociating into the void. She wants to continue his 'traditional therapy' as well as his "...studies."

He tells her that he knows who he is now.

She tells him that even if "the allegory of Khonshu brings you resolve, you still need medicine. You still need therapy."

"So, it's just a story now? I suppose Ra never let his wrath rain down on his errant son? That everything you taught me was an illusion?"

Suddenly she's back peddling. Saying she didn't teach him that. It's not what she was trying to get him to understand.

He asks her to leave. He has things to think about.

I mean, honestly what did she think was going to happen?

She has a patient that believes that he has been touched by the divine and has become godly. So she has given him a god that is involved in FIRE, the thing he is associating with god. She's basically given him a path to his own displacement!!

She FINALLY realizes that she can just go to the military hospital to try to figure out who he really is.

At the military medical facility, she talks to another doctor.

"I don't say this a lot about multiple murderers, but... If you're asking what I thought of the man, I'd have to admit he brought nothing but warmth to this place."

And that's the thing. He's a quiet and pleasant man. Introspective and not really possessing his own unique personality. He accepts what is put on him. A sort of trauma processing and self defense.

The doctor then explains that patient 86 signed up for the army under a forged alias. Okay. So that explains why they don't know who he is... But they could call him by that name instead of just 86.

While she's there, another patient runs up, having overhead who they were talking about.

He screams about how he was there and he saw what happened.

"We all know the truth. It was impossible. They had him tied up. Naked. How could he have possibly started that fire? No matches, no lighter. I know what he--"

The orderlies show up and of course pull him away.

At the same time she gets an emergency message from her own asylum telling her to get back there right away.

She gets back to find 's room covered in blood.

Her response?

"How could this be? Was it all for nothing? As a doctor, I believed I could make a difference. But again, I am just at the whim of the raw, elemental power of insanity."

NO. You most certainly are not at the whim of the power of insanity! THIS IS YOUR JOB. Your job is to help people who have mental health issues! Being a doctor in a mental health institution is HARD. You have the lives of people at their most vulnerable in your hands!

So what happened?

Another nurse tells Dr. Emmett: "We found him like this and immediately restrained him. So nobody else besides Nurse Hayworth could be hurt. ALso... There was no other way to retrieve her nose."

Cool. We're going Hannibal Lecter now? For dramatics? For shock value?

I'm not going to show you the comic picture here. I hate it. It hurts to look at. It's disgusting. It's clearly done for shock value.

But we see wrapped up in a restraint jacket with blood all over his face. Behind him he's drawn RANDOM vaguely Egyptian hieroglyphs in blood.

She asks him why he did it.

"When I revealed myself to her... She didn't believe me."

Dr. Emmett is confused. She thought he was a kind and compassionate man who had a terrible upbringing and didn't know who he was.

He tells her that she should know who he is since she taught it to him.

"Khonshu." She answers. Because she's an idiot.

"Khonshu is nothing next to me."

He bursts into flames, igniting the whole room.

"I wanted to speak to you before I go, but...I'll have to take leave of you now, Dr. E. Whatever made me the way I am is irrelevant. You brought me purpose. You showed me that I am--and always have been--A God."

"Dear Lord. Amon Ra."

He tells her that Khonshu is going to bow to him even if he has to crack his spine and so on and so on....

He leaves the hospital, leaving the doctor to die in the flames.

We see flashes of his past where he set fire to his abusers as a kid and again in the army. Fire caused by his own mind.

"He was always meant to become this. And now I know what trauma robbed him of his memories. Sometimes the sun gives birth to a bright brilliant Moon, changing us for the better. But sometimes it consumes us... And we burn, it becomes all we can see."

We cut to a shot of the hospital being on fire and emergency services there.

Look! They found a survivor in the flames! The commentary between the paramedics is disgusting. And the casual way they move to treat the survivor is also just disgusting.

We get to see the survivor and it's Dr. Emmett. Completely burned up but still alive. Again... shock value and I'm not going to show you the image here. But it's bad.

She is laughing and yelling about how she believes.

We see 86 walking away from the hospital down the road, happy, and also naked. I honestly don’t know why this became a thing in comics with naked guys all over the place. It’s obviously used as a way to elicit some sort of reaction from the reader. One of disgust, something to laugh at, or just “Oh no! The man is naked now!” I hate it.

Then we get a few pages from Khonshu. A recap on Marc's story.

It's not told right. But I will forgive it because it's told from Khonshu's point of view, and that asshole probably sees it this way. So... I suppose I'll turn a blind eye to how wrong the story is here.

You would see it as Marc begging, wouldn't you, you stupid pigeon.

"He became...A hero. He used my powers to fight crime. To find redemption. It only cost him his mind. You see, the criminals aren't the only thing Marc Spector fights. He also fights...

"The voices in his head. Marc Suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder."

I've said it before. It stopped being called Multiple Personality Disorder YEARS ago. This is lazy writing with no research. And coming off of Lemire's run, this is just insulting.

Also calling it 'voices in his head' is just outright pitiful.

"But given time, he has managed to make peace with those voices. Including mine. No, together, we are... MOON KNIGHT."

And that's the end of the issue.

We get an afterward from the author.

It angers me beyond words.

"Writing Moon Knight (not "a book like Moon Knight" or "Writing such a huge project for Marvel"...Writing Moon Knight) is a dream come true. I couldn't pick a better place in the Marvel U to inject my passion into, and it is the pinnacle of everything I've worked towards as a writer.

Anyone who treats a superhero comic as an easy paycheck needs to check themselves and realize why they're our most prevalent modern myths. Thank YOU (and my fam at Marvel) for letting me write this, supporting my previous work, and allowing me to make comics with someone as esteemed and talented as Jacen.

I only ask that if you enjoyed this somewhat bizarre issue, keep reading this book. I want to enjoy it with you. Maybe we can claw away at something horrible together.

It will not, however, be pretty.

-Thanks,

Max Bemis."

We also get an afterword by the artist, Jacen Burrows that notes that they are following in the wake of legends like Smallwood and Lemire as well as Ellis and Shalvey who worked hard to re-awaken Moon Knight after it's cancellation (see Bendis). They note that they are working to tell a new and defining chapter in his character and a thought-provoking, intense, and scary note in Marc Spector's life.

I'm going to go punch a wall now.

NEXT ISSUE! #189!

Here we go… issue two… Let’s get this…moldy… bread.

We open on... NYC Subway. We see a happy dude driving the subway car. As the car rolls into the station, a large man steps into the cab with him.

"Happy to have made it to Friday? The stench of your jubilance is offensive. But you're right to rejoice. Today you learn the truth."

He touches the driver's shoulder and slowly a blue beam over takes him and his eyes turn blood red and start to bleed. ...I'm not posting a picture.

"Tell me what you've learned by knowing me. I'm living in you now."

The driver starts to stammer and talk. "H...H..Humanity is perverse. Genocide is the comeuppance we deserve. There is no creator. Undebatable. Love is a contrivance. Undebatable. The white house is the death star. Twitter is a virus. And when the nukes raze everything we know...Only a fool would claim it wasn't our destiny."

Yeah... The large man calls himself "THE TRUTH" and has the ability to send these visions into the people he touches. It makes the driver hate everything and he starts up the car again, out to spread the truth.

We are back to Khonshu narrating.

"My name is Khonshu. Moon God of Egypt. I'm here to tell you a story about a mad vigilante named Marc Spector. Our tale finds us here, on a standard night for Marc, who, when dressed in all white and donning a cape, refers to himself as Moon Knight.

Marc has spent ten minutes decorating this bar with the blood of these drug dealers and slavers. The cacophony of snapping collarbones and pit-pattering plasma is like whale songs to him.

As the thud of a man being literally punted across the room sounds, Marc Spector is grateful for his life.

For the privilege of serving me. Khonshu, protector of travelers in the night.

You see, Marc Spector is crazy. But in the context of my blessing, he is, well...A 'Super Hero'."

I overlooked it before, considering it comes from Khonshu's narrative and Khonshu WOULD see things differently.... But I can't. I can't even attribute this to Khonshu. This is just tripe bullshit.

We're going to start fast forwarding here because... It just keeps going on like this. The old bird just doesn't shut up. He carries on for three pages and there is a LOT of text there.

We see Moon Knight beating up a bunch of guys to a bloody mess. Then we move down to see a bandaged up Marc heading up to his VERY run down, grungy, apartment building. He waves hello to some old lady behind the glass that runs the place.

He tells her he'll have the rent for her in the morning.

Khonshu again calls Marc having just recovered from a 'personal crisis' and taking his problems more seriously, like his struggle with 'multiple personality disorder'.

Khonshu boasts about how hard it is to live with a demigod in your head and that Marc has learned to 'live with his lunacy and wield it like a weapon'.

We see Marc ironing his Moon Knight outfit while watching TV.

Khonshu AGAIN talks about how Marc has learned to use his three distinct identities and that therapy has let him come a long way. About how Marc came to him begging to have his life saved and now Marc is his 'earthly champion'.

"Or perhaps he was a space cadet whose psychosis was triggered by being shot up and dried out in the baking middle east sun. Your call."

THIS IS WHAT YOU GOT FROM LEMIRE?! THIS?! How...How... HOW.

We now see Marc passed out in bed.

"Marc is ready to become someone else."

Yeah so… We got him ‘becoming’ Steven. Who talks to Khonshu. Sure. Fine. Whatever. Khonshu calls him Narcissistic and decadent.

FIRST OF ALL. Oh. You did NOT just come for Steven Grant. Oh we are going to have words now.

Steven Grant is a beautiful wonderful man who has dreams of charity, peace, and living the perfect life that he was EXPECTED to live as a child under his father’s role. He’s the ideal son he was supposed to be, but he keeps his eyes on what’s right and what’s wrong and has STRONG moral opinions. He takes care of the body because he HAS TO. Marc isn’t going to do it. If it wasn’t for Steven, they’d turn into a walking festering infection with broken bones and starve to death! Steven keeps them alive and HEALTHY. He is the epitome of the one that gives because he believes in living a good life as a good person.

Oh. Now you're gonna come for my boy Jake?! YEAH. YOU BETTER AVOID DISCUSSING HIM FOR NOW. I’LL BITE ANYONE THAT COMES FOR JAKE. (spoilers: I know exactly what he does with Jake later and I am furious).

Alright. Back to Patient 86, or RA as he's going to be called later for a bit.

We see him in a homeless shelter getting soup. He talks to various homeless people, prostitutes and druggies in an effort to locate someone. There are heavy implications in some of these images that he 'did things' to get the information he wanted. I’m not going to post them because of the nature of the way these people are being depicted.

Back with Khonshu and Steven. He's at some business meeting. He's made them a lot of money. Everyone is happy and celebrating. Apparently Steven goes to struggling companies and makes them VERY wealthy.

He's decided to donate his portion of the new wealth towards his "Lunar Lives" charity fund that feeds the displaced youth of New York.

Steven shrugs saying that money is boring and he finds it fun to toss it to places where it doesn't belong.

Sure, we'll go with that version of Steven Grant being a kind and charitable man.

The party is interrupted by news reports that a subway conductor committed suicide by crashing the car. The survivors of the crash are now apparently acting strange, "self mutilating" and acting violent towards the aid workers trying to help the scene.

Steven slips away from the party.

Moon Knight time.

But first, we go back to RA.

He's found the person he's looking for. He's guarded by thugs. After a little encounter, Ra sets fire to one of the thugs and heads up to meet the man.

Back at the subway crash, we see chaos as rescue workers try to put out the fire, help the injured, and deal with the ones that are suddenly acting violently.

And Khonshu is still going. It's an interesting choice. I'll give them that. Having Khonshu narrate instead of hearing at ALL from the Moon Knight system. I suppose it gives them bigger leeway when it comes to the unreliable narrator because Khonshu WOULD see things differently. An excuse to not depict Marc and the others correctly?

....But it still does swing widely and miss far too often.

"Quite familiar with all the things that make men weep and soil themselves, Marc Spector felt at home in these derelict tunnels."

We see Moon Knight walk past the crash and into the train tunnels.

"After too much time confined in a white room, the odor of dead rat fart and fungal growth actually calmed his busy brain. He was in his element-The inspector holmes of king fu madmen."

See, this is where it falls flat. If Steven is dealing with the business aspect, Marc isn't going to care about that room.

And again we get ANOTHER jab at Marc being 'insane' and liking the disgusting things and being more at home in dank and terrible places.

Perhaps Marc is more at home in sewers (there was a sewer man) than Steven or Jake... But it has nothing to do with his mental state. It's because, as Moon Knight, he isn't above things like that. He's not the perfect clean hero that Captain America or Iron man is. He's the man of the people that puts himself down there in the lowest parts because it's where he's needed.

Moon Knight rightly is able to look at the scene of chaos at the crash site and deduct that it's a psionic attack.

"Historically, he had found telepaths to generally be meek characters using their sway over the mind as compensation for physical frailty. Like sexually feeble men with muscle cars."

Unnecessary jab.

Now, as much as I dislike this art style, it's a choice and there is SOME merit to it. Look, here's a nice page.

Here’s a badly cropped version. I like the way they drew Moon Knight in the first two panels with the play of the light and shadows. That big angry dude down there is the Truth guy. And I cropped it there because under him is a bunch of guys he’s shown the truth to who are writhing on the ground, bleeding from the eyes and shouting terrible things.

Moon Knight goes in swinging and lands a few blows, trying to know him out to release the affected people from his psychic attacks.

The guy is pretty big and he takes the hits easily.

He manages to grab Moon Knight by the neck and starts to use his abilities on him.

So what truth does Marc see?

"I'm a mad circus clown... This is all for myself. There is no Moon God. Just another...Sick... Delusion..."

I...honestly can see Marc having that issue. It's an issue he's had before where he thinks this is all his own way to keep being violent and that Khonshu is just a product of his need to justify what he does.

Marc snaps himself out of the psychic attack by punching himself in the face.

And I forgot that Bemis has decided that Marc Spector is a masochist and he loves it.

Literally, it has Moon Knight yelling "Ghhh. I #@$% Love it!"

He attacks the Truth again, slicing him up with his crescent darts and landing blows.

The Truth remains standing.

Moon Knight decides to look inward for help.

"Not having a lot of luck here, Fellas. Khonshu's more of a talker and this guy's power set is the real deal. Grant's useless...Doubt the Truth is looking for stock tips."

(I forgot that Bemis considers Khonshu to be his own version of an Alter without being an alter? That he just lives in their head.)

UGH. Yep. Here we go. This is what he's done to Jake.

"I'm gonna need..." And Moon Knight lets out a scream of rage as Marc steps out and tells Jake to "Do your worst."

Apparently... Bemis has decided that Jake is the wild card, violent, unpredictable, and brutal. Worse than Marc for some reason. That Jake is the powerhouse of hits...

I honestly has no idea why he went this route when MARC of all people has always been the one to be the guy that doesn't go down and always hits back. It just makes no sense.

What even.

Jake comes right at the Truth, spits a tooth in his face, then challenges him.

"You want to step into Jake Lockley's mind, you gigantic freak? I @#$% Dare you.

You met Marc. Marc's disturbed as hell. Now imagine that he took all the worst parts of himself and let them fuse into a living person. Now go ahead and taste MY truth, you leech."

I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS.

DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY. It’s not making people out of things! You don’t go “Well I hate that I burn all the cakes so I’m going to make this person my cake burning person!” ALSO Marc isn’t that bad either! Marc did terrible things, but Marc is also the hardest on himself! Marc could burn a cake and then use it as proof that he’s the worst person in the world! And Jake ISN’T a bad person! Jake is a good kind loving man with friends and a good heart and I’M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

And the whole time, you see ghostly Marc off to the side looking less than pleased at the situation and reminding Jake that "You're not allowed to kill him, Jake."

And the Truth pulls away in pain.

"Dear God. The things...The things you've done."

WHAT?! WHAT DID JAKE DO?! DRINK HOT COFFEE AND BURN HIS TONGUE?! DID HE PLAY BALL WITH ONE OF THE LOCAL KIDS AND MISS THE HOOP!? DID HE DOUBLE PARK HIS CAB!?

Truth is still reeling. "He has no idea...Does he? You blind him to your foul actions! I'll tell him, you fool! I'll tell him about..."

and Jake cuts Truth off by shoving two crescent darts into his eyes. Yeah...they got an eye thing in this run. I'm not a fan.

Jake gives the body back to Marc, who instantly wants to know what Truth was talking about.

He chastises Jake for his actions and tells him that he's going to get a talking to about this later.

And Marc makes a bad pun about "The Truth Hurts" over the unconscious Truth.

Khonshu and Steven shake their heads at him and Marc claims to be the funny man.

whoopy doo.

With the Truth gone, the afflicted people seem to be recovering now.

Back at RA's part of the story, he finally makes it upstairs to to see the guy he's been looking for.

Oh. Oh no. I forgot about this. I totally wiped it from my mind.

We see someone sitting at a chair. Ra tells him that he's been put here to destroy Khonshu.......

"As a manifestation of his father, Ra, I am offended that he continues to breathe and spread his gospel of dissent through a foul Avatar. A HEBREW, no less. I want your help to end Marc Spector."

I'm... I'm going to take a minute here.

I want to make a few things Very...VERY clear.

I don't care who the fuck is writing this, how they were raised, or where they stand with things now.

This is not okay. Not in a comic book, not in real life, and not in any sense of the word.

We have a figure who is CLEARLY styled to look like a Jesus figure that believes he is the Egyptian god Ra. We have him out to destroy Moon Knight because 1. He works with Khonshu and 2. He is a 'Hebrew'.

This is just disgusting.

And to put it in a comic. Where people of all ages read it and think that it's okay.

Maybe you had some teen or young adult that was identifying with the bad guy. It happens. They see a bad guy that came from a bad situation and they root for them or fantasize what it would be like to burn things like they do. And they start spitting hate like this. Violence towards Jewish people. You are giving them permission to hate a people too. To blame them. To look at them as inferior.

Or maybe you have a young naive kid that has never heard talk like this before and suddenly "Hebrew" becomes a slanderous hateful word. Congrats. You've just turned that kid into always associating that word with bad and disgusting things. It's only a step away from becoming antisemitic in their life.

I just... I can't. I can't even begin to tell you how much this is painful to see. To see Marvel allow this as a company. A company founded on Jewish people. To see Moon Knight as a comic, based around a Jewish system that was originally designed to be about dealing with trauma and hate and pain and finding a way to get better and continue to find the light in the dark.

Anyways... Back to the comic...

The man behind the chair is eager to take down Marc Spector, but he knows it takes more than a man. So Ra sets the place on fire to show off his skills.

The man stands up, impressed.

Oh look... It's Bushman.

A very poorly drawn Bushman that BARELY makes it past the caricature of an old racist cartoon black man. And it only gets worse from there. And as much as Bushman is the bad guy and used to (USED TO) be Marc's biggest enemy... This version of him only goes downhill from here. And we've moved on from antisemitism to racism.

fun times for all....

Oh good. This issue is done.

Can you tell I’m regretting this decision yet?

You know what? I’ve got a question for you to think about! We can all get mad at Bemis. We can point at his horrible story and all the terrible things he wrote about (and boy howdy are there more and they get worse as we go on)... But what about the art?

As MacKay said “Art can make or break a comic”. You can have the most beautiful story in the world and then have it drawn like shit. So who decided to make everything gory and bloody and shocking? Who decided to make Bushman into…THAT? Did Bemis say “I want you to make him look like this” and then pull up a 1940s comic? Or did Burrows make this call all on his own? Are there really two people to blame for these comics? Can we be angry at the artist too?

I’m already pretty pissed at the editors that let this happen… But who drew this?

Jacen Burrows started working with Warren Ellis in 2000. Ah... That explains some of the gore.

Also illustrated adaptations of Alan Moore. Yup. That explains the gore. Those two have very specific styles that usually translate into a lot of gore.

Oh yup. He's also worked a lot with Garth Ennis.

So we've got three of the four most graphic big name comic writers there. This explains a lot.

I don't have much on his personal life, or things that would show WHY he drew things this way... Perhaps it was direction or perhaps it was choice. Looking at some of his other works, they don't all look like this. So who knows?

NEXT ISSUE! #190!

I don’t want this bread. Send it back. I want different bread.

You know what? Why even bring Bushman into this?

This is a move designed to pull the old fans back in and to elicite "OH MAN" emotions from people. And it is not done well.

Bushman started as the big bad. He was the one that worked with Marc as a mercinary and the one that killed him. He's shown up a few times over the years, putting fear into Marc as Bushman threatened his friends. Then Marc killed him (and cut off his face).

So why bring him back? He's done. Marc has burried this particular thing of the past. He's a memory of a ruthless and brutal time.

And what they do with him here is just... They mock him. They make that memory into something grose and shameful.

You'll see in a bit.

So the next issue opens on some look backs at Moon Knight through the ages. We've seen this before. Other one shots and annuals have touched on the other Knights of Khonshu.

This time we see it through Ra's eyes.

"And so it has been since the days the gods themselves walked the earth. Ra and Khonshu, vengeful father and errant son. Warring for the very soul of the world, reborn again and again through earthly avatars. And in every instance....Ra is humbled. Shamed."

....Did Bemis even do mythological research? Is he just going based on "Ah yes, the sun and the moon!"

I'm no Egypt mythology expert, but I can tell you this... Khonshu (or Khonsu as it's really supposed to be spelled) is the son of Amun and Mut. Amun and Ra used to be two different gods but eventually merged into Amun-Ra when two big cities rose to power. He was then attributed with being the king of all.

Khonsu is often depicted as a child! He's drawn with a side-ponytail, which is the "sidelock of youth" and depicts youth in ancient art.

At first Khonsu was incredibly violent. He absorbed other gods' powers by eating their organs. Eventually, he was changed to a mellow god of Time, Measurement, and prosperity.

As I mentioned before, there was a brief period when a popular city worshiped Khonsu as the superior god, but it didn't last and Ra was put back in power when that city fell.

So Bemis clearly didn’t do any research into how the story originally goes. I’m not surprised.

He babbles almost incoherently about Karma and balance and how Khonshu always wins because the Sun God failed to find a proper Avatar.

He says Ra is here to break the cycle and bring order back to mankind. Because mankind needs discipline and order.

"I'm not like those who came before me. I'm not like you, victims of Khonshu's pride. I was born with the flame within me."

So apparently this is a big speech to some henchmen. Or just a bunch of guys looking to get revenge on Moon Knight? Unclear.

Ra's speech done, who is now known as the Sun King, Bushman gives his own speech.

He admits that he now lives his life dealing crack and isn't at his best.

"Marc Spector...Scares the crap out of me, simply put, I don't want to die again. I wouldn't come near Moon Knight with a ten-foot pole at this point, but with Sun King's determination and power?"

He tells them that with Sun King's fire, they can take down Moon Knight.

Sure.

Back to Mr. Spector himself... We see him meditating and holding a little talk with Jake.

Still we get Khonshu's narration:

"The inside of Marc Spector's head is a picturesque, violent landscape touched by Egyptian mythology, Judaic folklore and Fragments of his past."

I have so much I want to argue about with this that I don't even know where to start.

So we see an abstract headscape here. Marc has Jake in a boxing ring and is beating the crap out of him.

He's angry at Jake for keeping things from him and he wants answers.

And here we get a childish depiction of their argument that holds no research and insulting implications.

It's supposed to be funny. It has a certain charm to it that a much much younger me might have found agreeable, but older me has learned a lot and it just makes me tired. And upset at the character assassination that has been happening to my good buddy Jake.

I'm also upset at the implication that Jake is just 'a piece of Marc'. The parts Marc didn't want.

So they continue to fight while Khonshu and Steven watch. Steven is upset at their fighting and tries to get them to stop.

Jake takes a bad blow. "Look, Steven is the wealthy benefactor. Khonshu is our connection to the bigger picture. You're the voice of reason. And I deal in the grimy leftovers. You BUILT us this way."

I hate it. Marc didn't BUILD them. He didn't sit down one day and decide to make other people to hold things! It also depicts Khonshu as being an altar.

While I've often toyed with that idea, it's always been clear from day one that Khonshu is NOT another aspect in their head. There IS a good chance that they have someone that has been formed as a fictive or even a persecutor in the form of Khonshu... But that's an argument for another day. For the sake of this review, Khonshu himself has always been an outside force!

ALSO. Marc. Marc Spector. The voice of reason?! How do you get a character SO WRONG that you are writing a whole comic book for? When has Marc Spector EVER been the voice of reason?

Jake puts Marc in a sleeper hold and threatens to "put you to sleep" if Marc doesn't chill out.

"It's not your fault that your mind ended up like this. All we can do is embrace the crazy and let you move on with your life. Which means you need to trust me, Marc. Capiche?"

I have always been a huge fan of the implication that because of their unique mental health issues, DID, and dealings with Khonshu, along with repeated trauma and death, that the Moon Knight system has the ability to surpass expectation and use these things as secret weapons. The number of times people have attacked them mentally and just been destroyed is amazing. I love it.

THIS. This I hate. "Embrace the crazy". This is clearly the message Bemis got from Lemire's run. That they went through all that so that they could be crazier and use it as a wild card. NO. Just no.

Anyways, Marc and Jake make up and relax while Steven hugs Khonshu in the background in celebration.

We now to go the Sun King, who is knocking on a door to a fancy looking house.

And who answers the door? Marlene Alraune.

For those that don't know, Some time after Moench left Moon Knight, Marlene also left them. When Moon Knight picked up again for the Houston run, Marlene came back, but it was a rocky relationship. She left them again, saying she couldn't be with them for her own health.

Sun King poses as a charity drive door to door person and while Marlene is getting her check book, he notices a picture on the wall. He freaks out and calls in Bushman.

Marlene is famliar with Raoul Bushman. He's the man that killed her father, after all. The one that killed Marc and started it all.

Bushman notices the picture and taunts Marlene.

He calls her a damsel-in-distress. This has never been the case. Marlene has NEVER been a damsel-in-distress. As much as I harp on her from the old days, that girl could take care of herself! Half the time she was the one rescuing Moon Knight!

So to see her passive and not knowing how to fight or take care of herself? No.

We head back to Moon Knight, who is fighting a bunch of "disabled gentlemen", most of which are missing arms and legs and the such. It's implied they work for Bushman and Moon Knight is to blame for their missing pieces. hmm.

While fighting, he gets a phone call. In typical "My ex" fashion, the caller ID says "Do NOT pick up, Psychopath! Let it go!"

Hm.

He answers. Khonshu is not pleased by this but Marc can't help but answer. It says that Marc is still obsessed with her.

He's super happy to hear from her.

Marlene tells him that she's missed him and wants him back in her life.

She attempts to warn him, telling him that maybe it's best if he didn't come over, but Sun King is there and puts the squeeze on her.

Marc is far too eager to go meet up.

I'M GOING TO PUT A PAUSE ON THIS FOR A SECOND.

This is something that has bothered me for AGES and this is the run that started it. (Bemis. Always blame Bemis. But there is also another writer that messed it up too. I'll get to that MUCH later.)

Moench originally wrote that Marlene was in love with Steven.

Jake was incredibly indifferent to Marlene. ANy time they interacted, he treated her as a friend, but was more interested in headint to Gena's. Jake was not into the fancy rich life and how she wanted to live.

Marlene hated Marc Spector. Marc was violent, had a dark past, and was involved in her father's death, her brother's death, and various other tragedies.

If Marlene was going to do anything, it would NOT be Marc. OR JAKE. It would be Steven. In the whole Moench run, she always insisted in calling them Steven. She wanted them to just be Steven and give up the other lives.

BACK TO THE COMIC.

We see a flashback of Marc and Marlene on a raft.

"From the first time you saw me? Huh. Even though I was some mercenary who hadn't showered for a week?"

BULL. SHIT. The first time Marlene saw him, he was working with Bushman and had imprisoned them all, then her father had been killed. The first time she spoke to Marc I'm pretty sure she either told him off or he was dying and she was happy because she thought he'd killed her father.

He's telling her the story of when he had to kill his own brother. (he's not telling the story right). Then he talks about his dead girlfriend and other trauma from his past.

What makes me mad is that this is conceivable. We have Marc Spector (Marc, not the other two) talking to Marlene about his past, his trauma. It’s possible that over time she could have decided to get to know Marc. That she realized that Marc is not just a murdering scary man and made peace with the fact that she needs to know him if she wants to be with Steven. It’s possible that she got him to open up and tell her his trauma and what made him what he is now. It’s even possible she started to date him too. I can get behind that! It’s growth for BOTH Marc and Marlene.

And I wish this was how it was done. How it was left. I wish that they had this growth. That Marc and Marlene could become closer. That he and Steven learned to trust one another so much that they learned to be with Marlene and share. But this isn’t how Bemis does it.

We are back in the now and Marc shows up at Marlene's with flowers and a suit.

He tells her she looks great. He really thinks they are getting back together. Denial is a land that Marc Spector is king of.

And Sun King is standing in the dining room waiting for him.

Sun King pretends to be Marlene's boyfriend who has been living with her.

He tells Marc that Marlene told him all about how he was Moon Knight. It's not like this is a big secret. Marc was only mildly into secret identities. He wasn't very good at it.

And Marc isn't taking this well. While Sun King pretends to be a guy that's with Marlene, he then starts to talk about how someone else has been 'getting with Marlene.'

He tells Marc to ask Jake Lockley.

And in the inner world, Marc is a giant monster pissed off and turning on Jake.

Not how that works. But sure. Why not. Also, let’s propagate the notion that DID promotes distrust in the system and that there’s an evil alter that goes around doing things behind their back like this.

AND THIS. This is disgusting.

She claims to have never stopped loving him and was so desperate for him that she got with Jake?! Not the same person! You don't get a hankering for Marc and go for Jake instead!

And then the notion that Jake came to her telling her to keep it a secret?!

And then telling them that Jake was never "warm". That Jake has evil in him and he just didn't stand up to Marc?!

WHY IS JAKE The EVIL ALTER!? He isn't. Jake Lockley is a loving kind and caring man. He goes to Gena's every day and asks her how her kids are doing. He feeds the homeless. He makes friends with the people on the street.

And she tells Marc that she tried to break it off with Jake but it was too late and she couldn't do it alone.

And that's when Bushman shows up.

Yep. There’s the daughter. And the fact that she calls him “Uncle Jake” and not “Dad” despite the obvious implication that Jake has been in her life for a long time…

Maybe they were trying to protect her from the Moon Knight curse but not letting people know she was his daughter… But still…

Her name is Diatrice. She has pink hair.

This is the ONE thing that came out of Bemis that is kinda okay.

It isn't till MacKay gets his hands on her that I actually started to like her. She's a force.

I admit, change scares me. And I've been jaded by the "We have to introduce a child to keep it interesting!" concept that show-runners and authors seem to have. I was also so incensed by Bemis' terrible writing that I took the stance of HATING Diatrice when I first saw her.

But it was bad writing. And give her to a good writer and she can do such wonderful things.

When Jed MacKay got to put her in a story, she was smart, she was fiesty, and she embraced her dad. More so, he embraced her.

Amazing what happens when someone does something not for the shock value.

And now we move to the next issue. Good. Great. I hate the art. I hate how weepy Marlene is here. Old Marlene would have been pissed. She would not have put up with this shit. She was smart. She would have found a way to warm him. To do something. I honestly can’t tell if this is misogynistic or just BAD writing? Maybe both?

Issue #191.

So the cover is the famous picture of the farmers. It's supposed to depict family homesteading life.

In the real picture, it's not well known, but it is the farmer and the daughter, NOT his wife. Just a little art knowledge there for you.

So we are back to Khonshu narrating.

I don't even know what he's narrating. Something about gods and the power structure of gods and his moon battle against the sun. Something about the moon representing mythical and birth and creation and then sun representing the psychopath and the ground and humans.

Not even mythologically correct in...ANY culture as far as I'm aware. At least none of the one's I've read about. Maybe in some. I don't know. But I doubt very much if there is, Bemis knows about it.

He also starts talking about evil and angels and devils. Dude has got his theology mixed up.

Also, Marc should be a bit more upset about seeing Bushman here. They have...HISTORY.

(There she is. There’s the Marlene I know and care about.)

So everything is on fire. Marc grabs Diatrice and gets her out.

He tells Marlene to get out. She just stands there DESPITE THERE BEING A SLIDING GLASS DOOR BEHIND HER.

He tells Diatrice to go find a place to hide, he has to go help Marlene.

She asks him if he's crazy because you're supposed to run away from fire.

He just looks at her before going back inside.

Marlene is still standing there with a sliding glass door directly behind her and fire in front of her. I don't even....

Marc calls out Raoul Bushman while he fights the henchmen.

"You're such a %$#@!!!"

Roul shoots him in the shoulder. Marc doesn't care. He knocks the gun out of his hand and slams his face into the wall.

Sun King sets Marc on fire. Marc strips down to his skivvies and throws his burning pants into Sun King's face.

Yeah. I can see Moon Knight (especially Marc) doing this. It's a good fighting tactic. It's a good depiction of Marc's talent for hard combat with quick thinking. (See? I can see the good too. Still angry, but there is soooooome good.)

See… It isn’t beneath Marc. This guy pretends to know Marc because of the terrible psychologist and being connected to ‘Ra’. But this isn’t beneath Marc. This is classic Marc fighting.

So they now face one another.

"What are YOU supposed to be?"

"I am Ra's chosen sword. Here to strike you down. I'm the Sun King."

"....Of course you are."

"My purpose is to make your death a mockery. In fact, I wouldn't be doing my job if I just struck you down. It's gotta be so tragic that it means something."

He goes on like this for a hot (LOL) minute. Honestly, Marc's heard it all before. This isn't the first time he's fought a guy with delusions of whatever he's got going on.

At this point Diatrice shows up again and is pissed off that her swing set is on fire.

Marc grabs her and makes a run for it.

He asks her what her name is. She tells him Diatrice and that he already knows that.

Marc is just caught up in the weird name.

"Mommy let me change my name to whatever I wanted!"

Which is super just... Considering she could never even bother to get Marc, Jake, or Steven's name right... Way to go Marlene I guess?

Marc feels the same way.

It's at this point that he runs BACK into the burning house holding his child for some reason? There's a note on the wall "We have your queen."

Well, Marlene's been kidnapped. Not the first time.

Probably for the best, honestly, considering she couldn't figure out how to use ANY of the exits that were surrounding her.

Back at Marc Spector's apartment, we find Marc failing real hard at talking to his daughter.

So this means that Marlene told her that JAKE was not her dad and that her dad was a super hero. Meaning she pretty much told her that Marc was her father.

Look. I know a couple of systems that have children. How they choose to discuss their DID with their children is up to them. Some chose not to discuss it at all until the kid is old enough to understand difficult concepts like this. But they also don’t hide it. None of the systems I know hide it from their children. The kids just learn to recognize the different members of the system, and to them, they are all “Mommy” or “Daddy” because that is the role that they inhabit while present.

It falls back to the whole “Hold your system accountable” aspect of being a functioning system. It means that they hold each other responsible and they all understand that they have a child and must function as a parental figure to protect and care for their child.

So the fact the Marlene is telling her that one of them is the dad and not the other… Hiding it from one and that Jake hid it from them. There is a disconnect here that is damaging and insulting.

So we see her argue with Marc about him not being a super hero. He doesn't look or act like Captain America, he can't fly, and he looks tired and smells funny.

He declares it was an 'off day'.

But, it's what I love about Moon Knight in general. He's just a guy. He has zero powers. He's even a bit of an idiot sometimes. He's just a guy out there that takes a lot of beatings and has a lot of trauma that he works out while wearing a mask.

As they talk, we see Jake, Steven, and Khonshu in the background watching.

Honestly, fair. I have seen systems be put in situations where perhaps a member they don't really trust yet is present in a situation that could be dangerous to them in general. Perhaps a little is present when they shouldn't be. Perhaps a high trauma holder is present in a potentially triggering situation. Or perhaps a persecutor that has a history is out around a member of the family that they don't trust them to be around.

You'll have the protectors and gate keepers VERY close by monitoring and ready to step in if need be.

At least this is true in the systems I've spoken to. Feel free to sound off if you have other experiences. I love to hear from systems about their own experiences and how they handle the family situation.

So now that they've argued on if Marc is or is not actually a super hero, she asks about her mom.

He assures her that she isn't going to die because he's going to save her and "seriously hurt those bad guys".

She asks if he likes Katy Perry. He says no. He asks if she likes Dazzler.

So they put on a record of Dazzler and have some bonding time while Jake keeps watch.

We head out to a high security prison to find some guards chatting.

One of the guards is missing an eye and wearing an eye patch.

He heads to a cell and asks the person inside to head to the city and get revenge for him. He wants him to kill Bushman.

Hey look, The Truth guy is back.

Considering the Truth guy ALSO got his eyes stabbed out... I'm not sure how he's walking around like that without any training or aid or anything...

Also, this guy was seriously not that impressive as a bad guy. He's just big and has a 'scary' design to him. I'm not impressed by this attempt to make a recurring bad guy. It's just not an impressive reveal of a returning bad guy.

So the Truth heads out of the jail easy peasy.

Back in Marc's apartment, Diatrice is asleep and Marc is holding a meeting in the head space.

You've got Marc, Jake, Steven, and Khonshu on a platform with Cthulhu in the background. I don't know. Do they think that the head space can just conjure anything based on need or emotion? Maybe it does? Maybe it doesn't? I Don't know.

Apparently this is a recurring thing Khonshu does because Jake tells him "Khonshu... Don't you be giving me that "Cthulhu" Bullshit. Not you." And Steven agrees. "He's kind of right. We can't just use squids to explain all weird things in this world."

You ready for this? I bet you aren’t.

Yeah I… I’m gonna… I am not touching this. I don't have the time or energy to sit down and type up a whole manifesto on what's wrong with this page.

And this is where the now famous line comes from:

Also let’s add some eating disorders to the mix. Why not? Do you have a disorder and feel left out? Don’t worry! I’m sure Bemis will get to that too! Not to mention there is a very underhanded homosexuality jab mixed in with that too! Blink and you’ll miss it, but this is a common way for older shows and media to take a jab at how wrong the GBLTQ world was. Make the villain have some latent homosexual tendencies, usually towards the main hero of the show.

So now we see Busman, Truth, and Sun King hanging out.

Truth is following them now, though apprently he sometimes accidentally uses his powers.

They review a map and discuss where they want to go.

Bushman tells them about a "Backwards tribe that I 'liberated' before we took over."

Yeah cause that's... Hmmm.

They decide to go t that island to start a "new eden".

Sun King tells Marlene the plan in a gloating fashion.

"You've gone so far as to tie up a super hero's girlfriend and you're bragging to her about your evil plan.

You're not profound. You're a linkless wikipedia reference waiting to happen."

Well, at least she gets that jab in.

"Perhaps that's so. But I'm still going to kill your child while her dad looks on. Just to prove the uselessness of his cause."

He tells Marlene he's going to use her to lure Marc to his doom. He also asks Truth to create an army.

Back with Marc, he is telling her about Frenchie.

Look, I've always been a big Jean-Paul Duchamp fan. I love him. It breaks my heart that things went the way they did and he eventually left Marc and they had a huge falling out. But I am happy Frenchie found love and has his own chance to be happy.

Do not bring my poor Frenchie into this world of Bemis.

…I’m sorry, did Marc just describe Frenchie as “A father figure”?! In what universe? Who are these people that think he’s a father figure to him?!

So Marc has called in Frenchie to baby sit Diatrice while he goes off to save Marlene.

I'm just sighing right now. Because it's been established that Frenchie is not talking to Marc anymore. He isn't adventuring anymore.

Frenchie lost both his legs in a mission gone wrong. He fell in love with his PT person and now they run a restaurant together. While Frenchie still misses the adventures, he also is tired of the PTSD and the pain that follows Moon Knight.

This is just shoddy editing by team Marvel.

Also this...

And this is how they ended this issue. Cliffhanger dead zombie Frenchie. Why is he in scrubs?

(It's at this point that I realized that Tumblr would only let me upload 30 images and I was going to have to break this up into more than two long ass posts. I'm so very very sorry.)

Part two will be linked very soon. Until then, I'm going to thank you for sticking around this long and hope you finish this rage filled adventure with me.

I'm going to admit that I am biased in not just hating Bemis, but also hating this art.

There are places for art like this. I've seen it utilized well in comics where the nature of the comics stands very well with this sort of art. Punisher Max for instance. For those that don't know, Punisher Max is a stand alone version of Frank Castle that was created in order to depict the ultra violence that Frank Castle is capable of in his search for justice and his never ending war.

The problem is that Moon Knight has gotten a reputation for being incredibly violent and unpredictable. You can probably thank Houston for that, but I'm sure the problem dates back to the 90s (always blame the 90s).

On the one hand, Marc is a former soldier, mercenary, and has anger issues. On the other hand, people have been using the excuse that "He's insane, of course he's going to be violent and unpredictable."

This has, most unfortunately, attracted writers like Bemis to the comic and then recruited artists that are more adept at drawing shocking gore or acts.

And even worse, this has attracted in a VERY specific fan base that reads comics looking for the gore, action, and hyper violence. They pick up an issue of Moon Knight, that has traditionally been based around dealing with mental health, classism, depression, and political issues.

These sorts of readers are easy to spot. They will list issues like Bemis, Aaron, and Bendis as their favorite issues. They will complain that newer stuff is boring or that they can't read the old stuff because it's too chatty. They want the action. they want to see Marc ripping a man's face off and biting out their throats.

Things like this are what goad on the perpetuation of Mentally I'll people being dangerous and scary and untrustworthy.

I'll touch on it more next time, but when we see things like this, it's so important that we don't put up with it. That we tell the big companies that Marvel, DC, and so on that we won't stand for this. That they are the problem. Don't put up with things like this. Don't put up with Bemis.

...Also I just really hate this art style. Every page feels SO static. Everyone is always just standing around grinning at things. Maybe I was spoiled by Bill Sienkiewicz, Declan Shalvey, Smallwood, and Alessandro Cappuccio. These people made even standing still look beautiful and full of life. They knew that sometimes just having Moon Knight standing in the rain could say more than words ever could.

PART TWO HERE.

Let's finish this bread.

#Moon Knight #Moon Knight comics #Analyzing the comics #BEMIS #This is a labor of love/hate you guys #Please it took me so long #It was so painful #I'm doing this for you #We can't just ignore it anymore #We have to understand the bad comics so that they don't happen again #We have to call this bull shit out

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yallemagne · 1 year

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You are right turning Dracula into The Lover is so danm needless!

-"Oh we need vampire/human romance with the vampire's tragic end!" Why make a convoluted romance with Drac and Mina? The book has served you what you seek on a silver platter. All you need to do is fill in the gaps of the epistolary novel to play with. Flesh out Lucy and Arthur and how they got closer. Keep Lucy as she is to make me cry for her doom. Dracula dying makes me go oh no. A rapist serial killer just died. Tragique.

-Want a vampire/human pair where the human chooses to walk with the vampire into eternal twilight? Let Jonathan complete his blasphemous vow. Actually focus on his trauma and how much he feared and hated vampires and how he chose certain death over vampirism, to give to his oath the gravity it deserves.

-Oh and want to also do "the vampire is suffering from being cursed by their God"? Mina is right here. "I was betrayed. Look what your God has done to me" whines 1992 Dracula, motherfucker you started it! Mina didn't! And look what He did to her brow! She who always walked the path of righteousness. She was betrayed. She is the forsaken sinner you want!

Sorry for the essay oh gosh

Literally.

Instead of rushing Lucy's death so they can get to their fake ass romance, adaptations could just,,, make Lucy's death its own story. Draw it out! Have Bloofer Lucy be more lucid and have her beckoning to Arthur be in earnest. And in this case, the trope of the vampire realizing at the last second that murder is wrong and begging their lover to put them out of their misery is less convoluted because Lucy knew that murder was wrong when she was human and Dracula certainly fucking didn't, not if we're going with the stupid Vlad the Impaler route. Lucy had an inherent goodness that was robbed from her in death and Dracula was always a cunt even when they try to rewrite him to be sympathetic.

I'm seconds away from just writing a story where Dracula's death doesn't cleanse Mina of her vampirism and Jonathan goes down with her, I swear. But my artist brain keeps saying I gotta design their vampire selves first aaagh. You can also just have Lucy take a big bite out of Arthur without being hampered by VH. It might be anticlimactic, but hey, I wanna see at least one fanfic where it happens. There's only ever fanart.

Like the whole "God fucked up my life" thing is whatever. Supposedly human Dracula (who is always goddamn Vlad Tepes for no good reason) had a wife who died and decided to make that everyone else's problem. I fucking doubt this ol' thirteenth-century bitch saw his wives as anything more than property. You know who doesn't see their spouse as property? You know who would actually grieve their spouse's death? You want the tragic vampire grieving their dead spouse?? MINA HARKER IS RIGHT THERE. Maybe Jonathan dies and Mina just fucking goes feral because that was the last damn straw and now she's going to murder God.

Your essay is appreciated, I was just vibing.

#queuing this post but be aware that I DID answer it right when I got it bc of course I'm up so late #someone tell me when arthur/lucy gets a proper ship name #please they need one #dracula #dracula daily #arthur holmwood #lucy westenra #arthur x lucy #mina harker #mina murray #jonathan harker #jonathan x mina #jonmina #update #people ask me things

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shukakumoodboard · 4 months

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*Pulls out my massive bag of money and jewels and blow* I’m your biggest fan so I must pick your brain now that you have a tumblr ask box. your finest gaalee romance hcs my good sir. Please

help.

I’m your biggest fan

did you know im crying ab this. kissing u on the face rn

ok gaalee romance headcanons. i've been thinking about this for days. grab ur mojito mix lets frockign gaur

ill be upfront in that i have very few i'll-die-on-this-hill opinions about the boys, but here's some i'm pretty stuck to <3

sfw headcanons

1. lee's better with words, gaara's better with actions, and they're both secretly envious of the other for it: my thoughts here are that gaara spent so much of his life not understanding love that he'd still struggle to articulate it in flowery ways that i think, as a born theatre kid, lee would be good at. but gaara would absolutely be that person who shows it in subtle ways -- like taking care of someone when sick, remembering food preferences, always ensuring lee takes care of himself when lee forgets or is busy having a self-flagellation moment. not that i think lee would be incompetent, but he strikes me as more of a scatterbrain, but would always be on top of verbal reassurances and affection (which i also think is what gaara would benefit from: clear straightforward declarations of feelings and intent)

2. they're both super cuddly in private look, you put together a touch-starved former monster vessel and a social outcast who mostly knows touch from violence (until gai) and you are going to get some clinginess imo. you can't convince me they're not the kind of people who would sit side by side at the dinner table so they can eat holding hands. bro (emotional)

3. they're probably actually really shit at "conventional" dating hear me out ok. they're like initially so far away and gaara is the whole president and lee kicked a meteor in half one time you think they can just wander around and go to restaurants? it's absolutely nonsense that shinobi don't suffer village celebrity paparazzi syndrome in nart tbh. not exactly the same but i have a whole wip in the bort-verse about them sneaking around. tldr i'd bet they sometimes get casual breakfast or dinner but i think more likely takeout and quiet time together as opposed to like fancy dates

4. language learning and hobbying as a form of devotion as a purveyor of my wares u may notice i have language headcanons. it is also my gaalee romance hc that they learn each others -- i've incorporated this into in the space between and a wip called multilingual, which is all about nejiten teasing lee about his crush on gaara in front of the man. i also think that lee would lean into gaara's gardening stuff with gusto because if it's something gaara loves, lee would want to love it too.

nsfw headcanons huehuehuhe

1. they're switches and i WILL die on this hill i think this is self explanatory but listen. listen i am SIQUE of the assigned top/bottom nonsense they both deserve to rail and also be railed. i may be the resident owner of the Rock Lee Fucks tag on AO3 but i also own the Gaara Fucks tag. ill kill a man over this

2. lee is absolutely a service anything this ties into the previous one. a big component of his canonical personality is that he's a disciple of gai -- he's a follower who bases a lot of himself around those he cares for. not the kind of person who is suddenly going to crop up with an intensely specific preference, imo? i think he would base his role on whatever his partner needs the most at the time.

3. rock lee's canonically huge dick ok lol listen. listen this one's canon jokes aside i think lee is hung as detailed in We Don't Talk About Fight Club and i will continue that joke. that being said i think normal hung. not arizona tea can hung which is a hilariously illustrated discord joke

4. tbh i think they're kinda vanilla in the bedroom i say this in a positive way i think they'd be far more into like, just being able to be with each other instead of getting into wild sexual mischief all over the villages although they definitely bone in weird places secretly. they Fuck, but like i don't see them as super kinksters or anything. however, i have seen many a kinkfic that im like nodding my head this is valid cakesitting bdsm what who said that

5. gaara's vaguely nebulous oral fixation i really have no justification for this one i just think some of those animal bijuu instincts might linger and turn into what that mouth do idk i keep going to write smut and whoops my whole body slipped and gaara's licking something. happened in fight club and fight club II, happened in hole time, happened in tgod, happens in at least two wips i have cookin' in the background... what is goin on actually

dkghkdf i hope you enjoyed this episode of kel's questionable headcanons. i really enjoyed answering, thank you so much for the ask <3

#fictalk #gaalee #leegaa #gaara #rock lee #writing gronp hours #nart #lol hole time #text #not sfw

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